#have differing opinions on new york style pizza
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for a while, the TWEOS parallel to the New York Special was simply that Adrien wasn't allowed to go on the school trip and he just stayed home (and this was before he met Claudia so obviously no her).
...and yet.
i an beginning to wonder if it would be neat to write a spinoff one-shot/AU^2 of sorts with Adrien and Claudia in NYC. i have some ideas
#claudia would FUCK UP a bodega baconeggncheese#adrien would never shut up about the harlem renaissance and jazz#they'd go see a silly little show on broadway#have differing opinions on new york style pizza#it'd be beautiful#claudrien#cynichat#claudichat#cynadri#thewarmembraceofshadow#fic ideas#miraculous new york
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Lessons in dress shopping
Every little girl fantasizes about the day she gets to put on a wedding dress for the first time.
Even at age 10, I had strong opinions about the dresses showcased on Say Yes to the Dress. I couldn’t wait to get married at age 20 just like my parents did. Well, things didn't quite work out that way (which I couldn’t be happier about now!). I’m 28 and I became engaged in October 2022. One of the first thoughts in my head after the initial shock wore off was, “Oh no, I don’t want to go dress shopping.”
I lost my mom to cancer when I was 11. It’s hard for anyone to go through a loss but especially on a child. My dad was the one with the career. He worked long days commuting to his job in New York City. After my mother passed, my dad tried his best to make sure I was fed. He didn’t know how to cook. He would make easy meals like spaghetti, frozen TV dinners, hamburgers, or chicken nuggets. I also decided to become a vegetarian when I was 14. I ate plenty of slices of pizza and plenty of bowls of pasta. It was easy and what worked for the both of us. This was before all the different types of mock meat they have at the grocery stores.
On a diet of pizza, pasta, and hormonal grief, you could assume I wasn’t in the best shape. I was shaped differently than all of the other girls in my grade. I wore a size 14. Other girls my age were wearing 0s and 2s. I didn’t have body image issues. I knew that I was also further along in puberty than they were.
I have spent most of my 20s trying to lose weight. I tried Keto, the meditteranean diet, low sugar, you name it. I have tried any work out plan I could get my hands on. It wasn’t until 2020 that I was able to have a doctor take my weight struggles seriously and my doctor finally ordered bloodwork for me. I was able to lose 30 pounds with very, very strict calorie counting. However, It was clearly insufficient for me. Eventually, the weight came back. When I received my bloodwork results, I had high testosterone. It’s almost impossible to lose weight when your hormones aren’t balanced.
I have been working on it losing weightfor two years now. I have finally taken medications that help me feel the way a functioning adult should. I have lost weight, but I was still uncomfortable regarding the idea of dress shopping. I spent countless hours admiring Pinterest boards and looking at the beautiful, curvy models wearing gorgeous ivory gowns. I couldn’t picture myself in gorgeous ivory gowns that showed off my figure.’m not shaped the same way as these models. I carry more weight in my stomach and my face. How am I supposed to feel beautiful?
I booked everything for my wedding early. It wasn’t until I spoke to my potential florist that I felt that I needed to go look at wedding dresses. To be honest, I was going to save that for the last possible moment. My florist wasn’t going to meet with me until I had my dress picked because she needed to arrange a bouquet to coordinate my gown. I guess I had to make an appointment as soon as I could.
I was anxious.
I was sick to my stomach thinking about putting on a dress; especially in front of other people. I prepared myself to look my absolute worst. I expected these dresses to hug every curve - in a bad way. My brain had already accepted the fact that I’d be forced to wear a dated ball gown because of my body type.
I wasn’t going to let my poor self-esteem ruin one of the most memorable days of my life. I put on makeup in a traditionally bridal style. I wore a smokey eye with the tiniest bit of glitter on the inner corner of my eye. I curled my hair to look like it had just come out of French braids. I wore my most expensive perfume.
I made it to my appointment and met with the sweetest bridal stylist. The stylist pulled the dresses I picked from the online selection. I tried on the first one - I fell in love. It was a gorgeous mermaid style dress. The bodice was lace with plenty of tule emerging from the thighs. The neckline was plunging and there were whimsical detached sleeves.
I felt empowered.
I felt confident.
I felt like this dress was for me.
I couldn’t pick the first dress I try on, right? Of course not! I needed to try more.
I tried three more dresses on. Each was a different style, shape and texture. These were all dresses I liked on the models. It wasn’t until my stylist asked how I was feeling about the choices I made. One felt too matronly, another hugged my stomach way too tightly, and the third just wasn’t right for a Halloween wedding. My stylist had an idea of what I would like at this point. I let her pick one more for me.
She carried the dress in, and at first, I had no idea what I was looking at.
There were so many different textures and patterns that I thought it would be a hideous dress. BUT I was wrong. It was perfect. The dress was similar to the first dress; but better. There were bits of glitter down the middle of the bodice. The tulle that extended from the thighs was patterned with the smallest bit of intricate lace. The dress hugged my curves; the right way this time.
I felt like the most beautiful bride.
I couldn’t stop looking at myself.
It was also in that moment that I realized I was being too hard on myself. I should be proud of the small accomplishments I have made with regard to my health. My future husband clearly thinks I am beautiful enough to be his wife. My family cried when I put on a dress in front of them. My own worst critic is myself. I was able to find a dress that looked fantastic on my atypical body type.
There was a lesson for me to learn: women are too hard on themselves. We don’t need crash diets to fit a dress. We are not born to fit in clothes, clothes are made to fit us.
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What people call Chicago Style Pizza is actually known as a “pizza pie,” and mostly the tourists get that except on rare occasions we want it. And you can find them at most pizzerias in New York, so I don’t know why it became so associated with Chicago.
The real difference is the crust, the level of acidity of the sauce, and the blend of cheese. And there’s an expected mix of these elements to determine what is in line with the hometown pizzerias of a particular area.
Some chains are associated with a particular combination, even—and I will absolutely not tolerate certain combinations.
Also I am high so this is just my current strong opinion that I’m not sure why I’m currently having it.
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I did not know I was going to get into a pizza fight today.
But it's a much needed break from the personal emotional upheaval currently spiking my Brain Juice so I'm just going at it. I apologize in advance.
Everyone is allowed to have different tastes and different opinions. I respect you all. I understand most of you. You are wrong. (Sorry.)
I'm a Pacific Northwest West Coaster. I lived in Chicago for a decade. I loved it. (Except the summers. I don't do well in heat or humidity.) I don't really think Chicago Deep Dish belongs in a discussion of pizza. It's a different entity. I love it, but it ain't exactly pizza. (One of my friends has said that the deep dish she ate while visiting me is one of her favorite pizzas ever and she's a picky eater.) I also give it high marks, but it isn't PIZZA in my mind. My Sister (in-law) J taught me a little about New York Pizza in my late teens. On site during a visit before she married my brother and then when I lived with them in Chicago. It's wonderful. I also really love Detroit Style. So much baked cheese goodness.... I'm not so much a fan of cracker crust. I'll happily eat it, but it's not my favorite. I've been told what I like is "Pan Crust." And it's mostly true, but it's hardly universal. My Favorite Pizza is the one I grew up with. My family rarely ate out growing up. (We didn't have any money.) But every Friday we made pizza. My siblings and I all memorized the pizza dough recipe early on. (We all remember it differently, but that's Brains for you.) It's a good solid crust that snaps at the crust and folds in the center.
hey chicagoans
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Rec some more music please Field Bears i really like Tanerelle!
I'd love to! I need a theme of some kind so I'm going to go with "underappreciated Black artists".
Click the readmore for: Tricky, Martina Topley-Bird, Saul Williams, Le1f, Stromae
(Disclaimer: underappreciated is a subjective personal opinion, and in this case means 'talented and crowd-pleasing enough that they should be on the radio, but, where I live, they aren't.')
Tricky (Adrian Thaws): 1985 - Present
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You might recognize Tricky as being a previous member of Massive Attack, a very well-regarded British band that is probably best-known in America for... 'Teardrop', the intro song for House? I'm guessing.
If you're a Fifth Element fan you might also recognize Tricky himself as the ill-fated henchman:
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But we're not here to talk about his short-lived acting career. (Although apparently he drove Gary Oldman insane when they had scenes together, and I kind of love him for that.) Tricky is an incredibly prolific musician from the Bristol area who has put out fourteen records. They can broadly be categorized under something like 'trip-hop', sometimes less trip-hop and more electronica, sometimes neither. I watched a recent interview where someone commented that none of his albums really sound the same, but they all sound distinctly like him, which I think is a well-earned compliment. His vocals are gravelly and distinct, but Sun Down and Hell is Round the Corner (one of my favorites) don't sound like Puppy Toy (above). Broken Homes is slow and aching, where Tricky Kid is a rap anthem with well-metered, intriguing lyrics that utilize his songwriting skills in a completely different way. I'm not a music critic and I don't have the skills to completely explain why I've been hooked on his stuff since I was a teenager. The one thing that's pretty consistent is that he likes to pair his vocals with female guest vocalists', contrasting his deep, often low-energy style with softer, feminine singing. This brings me to Martina Topley-Bird.
Martina Topley-Bird: 1993 - Present
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Tricky discovered Martina Topley-Bird when she was singing on the street. From there she became one of his most celebrated and long-running vocalists on tour and his albums, finally breaking off on her own and coming out with her own Quixotic in 1993.
She's also from the Bristol area and has a lot of trip-hoppy, indie influences that make her genre hard to pin down. Like Tricky, her songs range a lot in energy levels, but her vocal and lyrical styles are consistent.
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She doesn't have nearly the discography backlog, but I encourage you to see what she has out and what collabs she's done. She has the benefit of a very unique, whispery-smooth kind of voice that can beautifully transition between spoken word and traditional singing. Make sure you check out Baby Blue.
Saul Williams: - 1995? - Present
This is actually just a trick to get you to watch some slam poetry. I tricked you. Here it is:
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Okay, okay, we're coming back to 'music' music. But to understand where Saul Williams's music career comes from, you absolutely must understand that Saul Williams is, primarily, one of the most prolific slam poets in New York or really, anywhere in the world. His slam poetry is extremely musical and his music is extremely poetic, it's intertwined, it's difficult to completely separate, it's probably pointless to try. The Noise Came From Here, a song about police shootings, strikes me as one of his most 'produced' and 'musical' songs, but it also directly includes a poem by Williams and another by Marcellus Buckley within said song.
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Saul Williams's themes include a great deal of Blackness, anti-war and anti-racist politics, and the spiritual nature of identity. His discography is also pretty limited but if you get into his poetry, congratulations, he's fucking prolific and YouTube has tons of grainy videos of him tearing the house down.
Le1f (Khalif Diouf): 2008 - Present
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Le1f was originally a producer, and if you've heard Das Racist's Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, then you're already familiar with the pop rap, ear-wormy vibe. Where I go to Brockhampton for my unapologetically gay rap that has a grungy, filmed-in-the-parking-lot sort of feel to it, Le1f is more of a singular-face, in-studio vibe. The videos are consistently well-styled and have some familiar faces here and there. (Check out Spa Day if you want to see Das Racist taking a self-care break.) There's a lot of polish on the the tracks and the videos.
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A lot of my other recommendations have been slower and potentially bummers. Le1f sings about pretty light topics, often gay culture, and is not taking anything too seriously. You can duckwalk to this.
Stromae (Paul Van Haver): 2000 - Present
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Stromae, a Belgian-born French singer, started out with some generic 'work is exhausting, let's party' bops that made it on to the radio. As he got more clout and developed his creative team, his work steadily got more politically vocal and uniquely stylized. Stromae plays a lot with themes of gender and sexuality, probably best illustrated in Tous Le Memes (below) for the folks like me who either put on English subtitles or have to guess at what's being sung about:
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Stromae is enjoying a lot of success in Europe, and he's sung at least once on American late-night, but afaik he's still not well-known in America. I recommend ave cesaria for an upbeat ear-worm, or Popaoutai if you want an ear-worm that makes you feel bummed out about absent fathers. I think Fils de joie, which is about a fictional country holding a funeral for a missing sex worker, gives a solid impression of where Stromae is going with his art now that his success has increased his budget and his reach. We're going to continue making bops, we're going to continue to discuss difficult topics, we're continuing to put a spotlight on the marginalized, we're wearing weird hair pieces to invoke the feeling of an invented culture.
...
Okay. Writing about art is hard. I think I'm done.
I wish I was better at writing about music! If you found even one song in here that you enjoyed, I'm gonna consider this a success. If you have any questions or corrections, message me.
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The Conference (Part 9)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 3.7k Rating: T+ Warning: Some cursing Summary: It’s the evening after the keynote and they go out for a civil dinner date.
A/N: shout out to ruby @starrystarrytrouble for reminding me people actually like reading this mess 💕
________________________________________
After we finished up the panel I stuck around the conference hall to network whilst Ethan had ditched the crowd at the first opportunity he got, heading back to our hotel room and venturing away from the pecking vultures. To be honest, I didn’t really blame him. Everyone wanted a piece of the poor, well-endowed man.
A couple hours later, I shuffled back into our apartment. My aching feet somehow prevailed without causing me to collapse on the odd geometric carpet floor, or ditching my heels along the way and walking barefoot like some uncultured frosh stumbling home at 3AM. Once through the heavy metal plated door, I headed straight to my room, not throwing a single pleasantry towards Ethan in the seating area. From what I could tell he was typing furiously on his laptop after nursing a scotch - the empty crystal tumbler on the table was a dead giveaway.
The anxiety and delirium inducing stress of the day lifted the second my kinda-sweaty body collapsed onto the private armchair in my room, clutching its aqua-colored arms and sinking into the velvet cushion. Staring out at the familiar skyline my mind started to replay the happenings of the day; every little thing that happened - from the confidence I felt during our speech, to the way that asshole called me out, and how Ethan stood up for me every step of the way. How proud he was even if he relayed the sentiment in such small words.
We survived today. We haven’t strangled each other nor suffered any little deaths. All that’s left for this trip is the tour we have tomorrow morning, and then we’ll be on our way back to Edenbrook. Back to the way things were…
Somehow my tired and self destructive brain decided it wanted to revel in the memories of the last few days. Thinking about all the non-work things that happened this trip. Thinking of all the words shared, and the blast from the past. And the revelation that little adventure birthed.
Fuck me...
Things are weird. Like, so weird. I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m even thinking this… but I miss him. Today showed me how great we are together! Professionally and as friends. We’re the dynamic duo: Ramsey and his Rookie. His. I -
I need to stop thinking that.
I belong to myself. I do what I want when I want and with whom I want.
And so does he. And that’s why I walked away. I’m-
I’m still getting over him.
While simultaneously trying to get under him…
Thoughts wandered back to Ryan and how long it took me to get over the detrimental ‘what if’s of him. If I held on tighter and longer and didn’t get in the way of myself back then - if one thing was different - everything could be different.
A small, revelatory gasp escaped me.
I didn’t want things to be different.
After eight fucking years I finally understood.
If I didn’t love and lose Ryan I never would have found my way to Boston. To Ethan. And here - knowing what I do and having all the experiences of the last few months - I couldn’t continue a life without knowing Ethan Ramsey.
I’m going to do whatever I can to repair our friendship.
I changed my clothes into something not requiring heels - black skinny jeans, a blouse and my trusty Chelsea boots - and my hair pulled back into a bun. Simple, sleek, and completely me. No pomp and circumstance, or hiding behind anything. Just me, making an effort.
With all the determination I could muster I sauntered into the living room where I assumed Ethan would still be.
I was right; he hadn’t changed positions at all. Sitting there on the couch, his feet up on the gaudy footstool with his laptop perched on his lap, tortoise-patterned glasses framing his face, and furiously typing on the keyboard.
“So...” I trailed awkwardly to break the tension surrounding him, leaning against the wall with my hands stuffed in my armpits. “What do you want to do for dinner?”
“Oh,” He planted his feet on the floor and turned to face me fully, moving his laptop off of him and folding his arms in his lap. “Uh, well-”
Quickly I added, “If you’d rather eat alone it’s fine by me. I was thinking of grabbing pizza at John’s.”
Ethan nodded in response, saying, “Sounds good.”
“Cool,” I nodded back. “You ready or…?”
“Let me grab my things,” he stood, collected his things and headed to his room.
Less than two minutes later we headed out of the apartment together, walking side by side. Though this time wasn’t like earlier. There wasn’t the blind determination and need to impress like this morning. Right now we were two people who used to know one another going out to dinner in a spectacular converted synagogue.
***
For anyone who doesn’t know John’s, it’s a local family-style pizza joint. There’s three restaurants around the city and the Times Square location is by far the best. Every time I have a hot minute to spare I try to go - the stained glass and craftsmanship of the building is everything! But you don’t want to hear about that… and neither did Ethan when I tried to fill the silence during our walk with all the reasons to love this place. For some reason he preferred to barge and weave in silence.
Whatever.
Lucky enough he was more chatty once we were seated.
Our table was in the mezzanine with not much of a view besides the stone staircase in the corner and the large dome towering above. The dim lighting complimented the deep wooden table and beige upholstered seating.
We ordered. And without the menu to keep our attention, I tried my hand at conversation once more.
“Be honest, how did we do?”
Looking me in the eyes, ones that mirrored mine, showed such confidence and pride as he said his next words;
“You handled it well, Becca.” There was a tug at the corners of his mouth that pulled at my own. I was about to get a rare Ramsey smile - one I’ve been devoid of for far too long.
“Dare I even say, like a natural.”
I got to revel in the small compliment for a few moments as the server brought over our food - garlic knots, small veggie pizza, and a chef’s side salad.
“I didn’t stutter too much or come off too young?” I couldn’t help but ask when it was just us two again. His opinion matters more than anyone else’s when it comes to my career.
“You did.”
“But you -”
He cut me off, a slight shake of his big head, “You are young and this was your first keynote.” he clarified. And once more he said pridefully, “You did well.”
After what felt like ages we shared a private smile. How he was able to bring me back into myself with a few words and stop fussing over imposter syndrome is a wonder.
“Now eat some pizza and be happy.”
My smile grew to a goofy one by the way he was looking at me, bemused. I refrained from sticking my tongue out and dug into a little slice of heaven. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”
We dug in. Letting the flavors dance over my taste buds and make me only as happy as a New York slice could make me. No amount of fantastic sex could compare to pizza. Everything kind of disappeared - time stopped while the first bites settled in my tummy. Even Ethan looked to be enjoying it even though it’s not fancy smancy and artery clogging.
Eventually I broke our companioned silence;
“How was lunch with Chief Fredericks?” I asked as I reached for a scrumptious ball of garlicy dough.
The response left his lips so swiftly he didn’t even bother to look up from his plate;
“Informative.”
I scoffed at the non-answer answer.
My little grumble pulled him out of his bubble and he looked over at me - those damn baby blues challenging my thoughtfully indecent outburst. I just gave him a look right back.
Ethan rolled his eyes and reached for another slice. Cutting it up with a fork and knife like an absolute weirdo.
“He heard about the state budget cuts. Wanted to know what I think and if I’d be open to consult every so often.”
“And?” I probed.
“And what? You know how I feel about the future of Edenbrook.”
“Yes. But if it goes under, what do you think you’ll do? I mean, everyone’s going to be throwing themselves at you.”
I shoved some greenery in my gob to keep from adding the jarring truth.
Everyone throws themselves at you.
But who he gives his attention to is another story.
Ethan shrugged ever so nonchalantly, “I haven’t thought about it.”
The cavalier way he was speaking of his life after Edenbrook had thrown me off. Ethan was never this laid-back. It just wasn’t in his nature. There’s always something for this man to stress over. And Edenbrook’s closing should be his anxiety numero uno.
But here he was, ever so calm.
Hmm...
“Are you in denial?” I said through a bite, fully anticipating another non-answer.
“Maybe.”
The way he said it took me aback. It was inherently honest and soft. All of his jagged features were rounded and there was a dulled little twinkle in his eye.
Yeah, something’s going on here he’s not telling me.
“Ethan -”
And of course he deflects by turning the conversation on me; “What are you going to do?”
Keeping from rolling my eyes at his obvious deflection from roaming into his feelings deeper, I replied, “Transfer my residency.”
“Where?”
“I…” - dammit - “don’t know.”
I haven’t really dwelled on what happens when the hospital closes. Obviously I need to finish residency if I want to be an actual practicing doctor. But the matching process can go screw itself. I don’t never ever want to do that again - all I cared about was matching with the best. And I did. So who’s the second best now?
Is it wherever he goes?
There’s just so much to think about, and I’d really rather not. Not until the last few nails are lined up against the coffin.
“See,” he said with a hint of a lopsided grin, “Neither of us are ready to leave Edenbrook behind.”
He was right. Of course he’s right. You didn’t need to be a diagnostician or even a doctor to see that we’re holding out hope of a buyout.
I’ve just gotten to Edenbrook - only a few months into my dream career with my dream boss - and now, what? It’s all over before it even really began? No. I can’t accept that.
There was a beat of silence as we both reached for the salad tongs, our hands brushing on accident. Both our eyes shot to bear witness to the contact, pulling us out of whatever ran wild through our thoughts and into this new, secluded moment. Everything around us dulled in the distance; the sounds swirling in the air muted and like a faint breeze. The warm lighting dimmed further, yet there was a spotlight on the salad bowl. The greens and reds and purples of the ruffage illuminated like it was the only thing that mattered. Like right now the earth was spinning just for this moment of closeness.
Surprisingly, neither of us made a motion to move. His large hand overlapping my dainty fingers, the metal underneath the pads of my fingers warming up instantly. Electricity still coursed through me like the very first time. Except now it carried the memories of all the other times and places he set me aflame.
I had to be the one to pull back.
Almost, like it needed time to comprehend why the moment was intentionally ruined, the atmosphere around us began to revert back slightly. I could hear the idle chatter of those around us now. I could see the full picture of Ethan sitting across from me and all the individuals pattering around behind him. What couldn’t pretend to go back and hung off kilter was the beating in my chest - I could feel the electricity coursing through my veins and putting my heart through the ringer.
Ethan made up for it by serving me.
Does he know he still has such an effect on me?
Quick! I needed to divert my thoughts off of the creeping flush and want from taking hold. So I went back to talking about work, our safe topic.
“If you could work anywhere else in the world where would it be?” I asked.
Ethan took a moment to think as he served himself some salad. He looked like he was actually thinking of an answer, maybe, for the first time he’s digested the hospital’s fate.
“I think the next logical step would be the Mayo Clinic. They’re the best diagnostics in the world.” His eyes diverted back down to his plate and, after a beat, he added, “I also wouldn’t mind spending more time on missions with The WHO.”
My eyes searched his as they looked anywhere but where I was seated across from him, trying to find any sort of fault in his features. Something, anything, that I could hold onto. Nothing. Just stupid sincerity. The first fucking time in weeks he actually lets us talk about his time in the Amazon I can’t be mad at him.
“You really enjoyed your time there, huh?”
“It…” he hesitated, choosing his words carefully.
We’ve wandered into emotional territory and we both needed to tread carefully. I need to remember that he was never mine, as much as I felt like his from our first kiss. Need to recall that back then everything was drawn out in plain sight. Our end was always just that - an end. I Need to forgive. And try to remember that at one point he did try to fight for me, in his round-a-bout noncommittal way, and I was the one to end things officially.
We both need to forgive. Especially if these are the last few months we have working together.
“Was important work and I got to make a difference in the lives of thousands of indigenous people.” Ethan took another small pause for breath. When he continued, his deep baritone voice was lower, “Even if my intentions for going were skewed, it was an opportunity of a lifetime.”
The simplest thing to do would be to nod, or eat - distract myself - or even change the subject. To try not to dwell on the implications of the statement. But I couldn’t. My body tensed and the warmth from moments before fled completely.
We were silent. The brutal truth of why he left stinging just as much as it did the day I found out.
Minutes, many many minutes passed with me finding solace in sweet savory carbs and Ethan pushing things around on his plate.
Eager to change the subject there was one other topic of the day I was endlessly curious to know more about;
“So, what’s the deal with Dr. Schwab?”
“Don’t.” He dismissed, his authoritative voice seeping through just a tad. Though I’d like to think he’s smart enough not to use it with me outside of Edenbrook.
“If you don’t tell me I’ll be forced to fabricate my own. I’m feeling a one-night stand gone wrong.”
He looked back down at his food.
“Oh my god, I’m right.” The smile that erupted literally took over my entire face. I could not hide it even if I tried.
“Rebecca,” he tried to scold.
“Now you have to tell me.”
Just like earlier he turned the conversation back on me; “What’s with the frat boy?”
“Ryan was never in a fraternity,” I responded, not hiding the grin that formed by putting Ethan in his place. “He’s a jock though.”
He expelled a dry laugh, “I don’t think that’s any better.” He took a bite of his salad. Something radiated off of Ethan I couldn’t quite place.
“We were close in high school,” I added for reasons I’m not quite sure why. Like that explained who Ryan was and why he came back into my life now, of all times.
Ethan made a condescending, “mhm”.
I rolled my eyes; “We had a thing for a while, okay.” I conceded. “We grew apart senior year, and then I went off to college. Last night was the first time we’ve spoken in, like, eight years.”
Ethan made absolutely no reactions to the statement. Not even a stupid wiggle of his dumb perfect eyebrow.
Is he even paying attention?
“Now tell me about Schwab - sorry, Hilary,” I coaxed.
Ethan’s hand flew to the bridge of his nose and up to carefully rub his eyes.
This has gotta be good.
I waited patiently and eagerly for this story. She couldn’t have been Ethan’s type and yet… What happened!?
Eyes still shut tight, he grumbled, “What’s there to tell?”
“Obviously something happened,” I couldn’t help but mock, “You slept together!”
“Yes, and it’s something I do not like to dwell on.”
“Sorry, buddy, but it looks like she does.”
He groaned. Then shifted in his chair. Ethan took a long drag of his drink. And just when I figured he was going to wait this out until one of us changed the subject, he spoke;
“A moment of weakness a few years back. And she was…”
Ah! It’s actually happening! Ethan’s telling a salacious story!
Shifting in my seat and placing my head in my hands to give him my full attention; My brows and smile grew as I finished the sentence for him, “Eager?”
He scowled.
“Jesus Christ, Ethan, just tell me what happened!”
“I will not go into details.”
“Fine.” I made a motion with my hand for him to continue without the juicy details.
“Harper and I had just ended things for good not long before…”
We ended up going back and forth for a while - Ethan not wanting to give anything up and me pulling as much as I could out of him. Long story short, Ethan was in a weird mental state after breaking up with Harper for the hundredth and final time in their six year relationship. He took up a conference opportunity to get away for two nights. Knowing how much he loves people, Ethan spent most of his time drowning his senses at the hotel bar. And low and behold, enter Hillary.
From the sounds of it she was agreeable and very very forward. And Ethan was so lost in liquor that her voice didn’t irritate him as much as it did the next morning, and every single time they were in close proximity thereafter. Hillary had been going through a separation with her husband and needed a distraction just as bad. Really, who could blame her? Toting Ethan around would be the best revenge.
The first night of his stay was fine - apparently the sex was satisfactory and she didn’t do anything remarkably memorable. Or so he says. I still think she looks like a squawker. He didn’t linger around long after before retreating to his hotel room. Then the next afternoon he was bored and weak and agreed to lunch. And lunch turned into drinks which turned into round two. In his room. And she didn’t leave. She wasn’t leaving. So Ethan bought an earlier plane ticket, and shook her awake before checking out.
And every conference since she seems to want to entertain a rematch.
“Oh my god, you’re horrible!” I exclaimed ever delightfully. This was hilarious!
“I shouldn’t really be surprised. You flew to another continent after we slept together.” Shaking my head, a stupid little smirk on my lips I asked, “Have you ever had a one night stand before?”
“Wha - of course I have!”
“One’s that didn’t end up with you getting on a plane?”
He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. “If you must know, I’ve had my fair share in undergrad.”
Now it was my turn to send a condescending “mhm” his way.
We spoke longer and polished off our plates - not a single crumb remained. This was nice. Really nice getting to be close to him again and just being friends. Telling stories and exchanging playful jabs here and there. It’s how I fell for the idiot in the first place.
Baby steps.
-
Two hours after we arrived the server came over with the bill.
She was friendly and lovely the whole meal. The best part about her style of service is that she let us just exist and didn’t check up all that often. When she did I could tell she overheard someone of the crap Ethan and I were spewing. She had one of those knowing smiles, like she was in on our jokes the entire time.
“Can I just say, you guys are adorable,” she relayed with the brightest of smiles after setting the padfolio on the table, her hands clapping together excitedly. She looked like a child who had just met Santa Claus for the first time.
L O L she thinks we’re together.
At that I actually laughed out loud before informing, “We’re colleagues. In town for a conference.”
The horror on the girl's face said it all.
“Oh! My mistake, sorry. I can split the bill for you.” She reached for the pad where it sat in front of Ethan.
He grabbed the black leather at the same time I spoke;
"Nope, dinner’s on him.” I cupped a hand over my mouth and pointed a not-at-all discreet thumb towards him, “He'll get reimbursed," I laughed more to myself than anything.
She smiles, a little relieved by my warmth, then turns to look at Ethan - silently asking permission or if it’s okay that he pays. Generally looking for some sort of direction from the old man.
He shoots the server a look. Then forks over his credit card.
As she saunters off, I smile at him sweetly, “Thank you.”
Of course he rolls his eyes. But that rise in the corners of his mouth says so much more.
________________________________________
A/N: sorry it’s shit. thank you for sticking with this series 💕 we’ve just got one chapter left!
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#personal
It was a pretty quiet September 11th around the city for a change. I took the train downtown for coffee near the river. I was all over the place yesterday. On foot, on skateboard, on train. On the platform, a woman who had been seated with her son approached me. She asked me softly what book I was reading. It was William Gibson's "Pattern Recognition." I had been carrying it mostly because I saw a woman holding a bag a few days prior with the words "always carry a book." You get clues from society sometimes of how not to be a douchebag. You learn to read the court. Know when to fake. Know when to pass the ball. Know when to dunk on a motherfucker. This was one time where I had a chance to follow through on that wager. I told her it was science fiction but written too long ago so that it just seems like reality. The least complex way I could explain it was science fiction meets advertising. I could hear her son groaning presumably in the background. Probably at me. But it was a thoughtful conversation. We both agreed that carrying a book was about as neutral as it gets. If someone wanted to talk to you they'd have to reference the literature you were holding. It beat doom scrolling through the news which we both agreed is always different but never changes. We also agreed books put us to sleep. I said that was probably why I liked to read them in transit so I could tune out the world. The train approached as she wished me a good day and I continued my journey of minding my own business. Chicago lately feels a little less intimidated by culture as it happens. Particularly in communities of color where I spend most of my time and foot traffic in. I don't really feel all that comfortable or at ease around white people for the most part. They're all too scared to be real and talk about anything unless they're drunk. One of my favorite white basketball players was inducted into the hall of fame. He's a cracker for sure but a Croatian American which is one third of my nationality. He was called "the waiter" in which he was famous for waiting to pass the ball at the right time. He won a game for the bulls with five seconds remaining. He could dunk from the foul line and so on. And he played on a team of athletes where he was the minority and got his due. He did well enough to get inducted in the Hall of Fame when all was said and done. But he achieved that through team work not through domination. I have all these situations where it might seem from a certain vantage point that I alone saved the day. That I'm some superhero. And my only power is getting along in the environment I'm in. An environment that people constantly report is unsafe, in flux and horribly toxic. It is when you don't do anything about it to change it And then again people are smart enough and connected enough to figure out ways to cope. That is if they talk to each other. It's not like New York or Hong Kong where everyone is so used to living side by side. Chicago loves to have space and defaults to awkwardness. It's gasping for air sometimes in that respect. You need to wear your heart on your sleeve at all times. What better than a good book?
It seems like I write one every week. There's so much to reference and yet it all seems like chaos to organize. I can get lost in my head for any number of reasons. The people I care about most are far away in some ways and not so much in others. But it is still all so very vague. Small interactions at least keep me from feeling attacked and isolated. I think we're all looking for a balance to be able to express what we feel out in the open normally. Everybody is so focused on crystalizing it online one sentence at a time. They react to a feed that's been frankensteined together for an ulterior agenda. You read it on the news and it must be true. And year after year it is never about you. They've since taken the model of activism and made it a fucking reality show with Usher. The prize culminates at the G20 where you face the secret tribunal and receive funding for your cause through some bizarre sectarian ritual. I'm sure this is not the truth of it. But activism like reading should be a passively active goal. It should be your compass on the high seas of adventure in a city like this. The reward should be the conversations you unlock. The things you can reflect on and write about. How I don't really feel self conscious talking to people on the spot anymore. If a member of the opposite sex came up to you and asked what you were reading what impression would they leave you with? I'm already changing the world around me. And there's things that I've done in the past that are great trivia but don't speak for the real me. I was invited to see some people dj down in Chinatown last night. It was by the river in a park. I had just gotten back from Little Italy to get Hong Kong style Indian food at a restaurant called Siri. All of this is within walking distance if you don't mind shin splints. Everybody can tweet away how they're afraid to visit Chicago for fear of getting shot by the gangs. I am on foot ninety percent of the time. There's crime and then there's crime. And then there's what five media conglomerates owned by five billionaires have to say about it. This is why I listen to publicly funded radio. I hurried back, burnt my mouth on dal makini and jumped back on the bus to the park. Everybody was there that I knew from footwork and magic the gathering. An impossible mix of people who nonchalantly know you as violet systems moreso than Tim. I hung out for an hour and left around eight thirty. I took another long walk home over an empty bridge overlooking the city. I did this all alone. Aside from the people I run into from the neighborhood on the block. I was free to do so. And Chicago is still that place no matter how mad I get at it. And it isn't going anywhere.
Seemingly neither am I. For all the bullshit I write about how frustrated I am with things, people do eventually get the message. Would you rather have them understand it organically or force your perspective? You can repeat the same thing over and over again and it becomes tired. About how you are so progressive that nobody in your city has actually heard of you. About how you are doing all these things to fix the future but aren't living life in the present. All it really takes is letting the world know you are stable. Getting your own chaos in order and operating from there. Maybe you inspire someone along the way. Maybe you start a conversation that has nothing to do with you. But it all starts with communication. Knowing when you've said enough. Knowing that simply showing people another side of you may change the dialogue. Living by example and not just talking about it. Maybe understanding that it isn't constructive to be fighting with the universe all the time. Maybe the peace we seek to achieve on the global level starts with the conversations within ourselves and not the society trying to galvanize public opinion. If we could just help people feel normal again maybe we would all deserve normalcy. September 11th was a horrible thing caused by an outdated mindset across the board. It is twenty years later and we still cower in fear. Mostly of our own country's shadow if we are Americans. We have since thought of our freedom as something to be shaken out of other people. To rattle and provoke each other to show our true selves like a bull in a glass house. We don't start small. We get egged on and thrown in such a paranoid mind state that we think everyone is out there just to roast us. We constantly feel we have to prove our patriotism to a peanut gallery of billionaire funded social networks. We chase money in the present instead of investing in better futures. We don't know when it's our time to pass the ball. Working as a team, you fear you will be forgotten. That somehow you won't get your slice of the bloated pizza pie and unevenly distributed future of the American dream. But we all live here oblivious to the freedom we have to build it back better ourselves. The billionaires aren't walking on these streets. They're blind to how it really works. Maybe it just starts with a book and an honest question. What am I reading these days? I'm reading into all the signals and they're coming back clear. Whatever I've written in the past is just context for whatever I write about in the future. And the future holds less terror because I am less fearful of being misunderstood. I still wear that bright pink heart on my sleeve. It's the team I represent. I'm just waiting for the right time to dunk from the foul line. For now I pass it back to you all until next week. <3 Tim
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1997 - This Year in Gaming
Muggins here was born in ‘97, and can’t really remember much of it, natch. But there were some good things released this year - I’ve played every one of these, and have missed so many more.
Diablo - Windows, January 3rd
We start with dungeon-crawl-em-up and well-loved out of season April Fool’s Joke, Diablo. I’ll be totally honest - I don’t like Diablo that much. It’s absolutely fine, I just can’t get into it. The writing, setting and characters are all very good especially since this year only marks the beginning of games being seen as a bit more adult and intelligent. Check out this gameplay from Hour of Oblivion on YouTube, and marvel at the faux-Scottish accent on Griswold the blacksmith.
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Mario Kart 64 - Nintendo 64, February 10th
Compared to its more recent versions, Mario Kart 64 is a veritable bloody relic of the past - solid controls and a quirky style mean it’s still a crowd pleaser to this day, but you’d be hard pressed to find anyone right now that would die on the hill of it being their favourite single-player racing experience. It’s also got some of the deepest, impenetrable lore in any medium known to the human race - why exactly is Marty the Thwomp locked up here?
Blast Corps - Nintendo 64, February 28th
February’s position as most boring month of the year is shaken up a bit by having a uniquely designed Rare game slammed into its 28-day long face. Blast Corps is the puzzle-action game where you take control of several vehicles to destroy homes and buildings in order to prevent a nuclear warhead exploding in the coolest incarnation of Cold War politicking ever seen in a video game. Calling Blast Corps a “hidden gem” these days is like calling Celeste a hidden gem - it impresses nobody and makes you look like a dick.
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter - Nintendo 64, March 4th
The N64 was home to a surprisingly large number of above-average shooters despite its muddy graphics and small cartridge space - Turok is one of these, a great FPS game where you shoot the SHIT out of dinosaurs. Brett Atwood of Billboard said it was like Doom and Tomb Raider mixed - Doom Raider, if you will. I say it isn’t - there’s no demons, and there’s no polygonal breasts to poke dinosaurs’ eyes out with!
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - Sony PlayStation, March 20th
What is a retrospective? A miserable little pile of opinions. I’ve only recently played through SotN for the very first time on a TOTALLY LEGITIMATE copy with a CRT filter. Bloody good (geddit?) game, that takes the repetition of its predecessors, improves on it in basically every conceivable way, and combines it with special effects and graphics that even 23 years later had me going “ooh, that looks quite good!” Symphony’s music and audio design are wonderfully paired with a deeply enjoyable experience that’ll have you saying “mm, maybe just one more room?”
Tekken 3 - Sony PlayStation, March 20th
Also releasing from the Land of the Rising Sun that day was Tekken 3, which many believe is still one of the best fighters ever made. Tekken 3′s combat is so fast and responsive that it’s better than some games made today. T3 is also the best and easiest way to knock seven shades of absolute shite out of your friends without risking a massive head injury or a trip to the headmaster’s office... where you could also challenge him, but only if he plays as my favourite Not-Guile-or-Ken character in gaming, Paul.
Sonic Jam - Sega Saturn, June 20th
The moment Sega realised that re-packaging old Mega Drive games would net them serious cash - although unlike later collections, this is a strictly Sonic affair, and has a neat little 3D world to run around in as a sort of hub world. Sonic X-Treme proved that Sonic Team would have to work hard at getting the fastest thing alive into 3D space properly: Jam is the sort of test ground for it too. It features some genuinely good emulation work for 1997, although it’s basically the gaming equivalent of going round to your grandparents at Christmas only for them to give you the exact same gifts you got in 1991, 1992 and 1994 but wrapped in a bow to make you think it’s different. What are you lookin’ at, you little blue devil?
Star Fox 64 - Nintendo 64, June 30th
So there’s this German company, right, called StarVox. Nintendo look at Europe and say “shit, we don’t want another lawsuit... after all, we’ve done three this year!”. So they give us in the PAL region the exciting title of Lylat Wars which as far as I know means absolutely fucking nothing in the context of the game. They’re still called Star Fox in-game too so what was the point? Anyway, fun 3D shooter with graphics that’ll make you do a barrel roll off the sofa and onto the power button to make the brown and green blurs a little easier on the eyes. Hello 2007, I’ve come back to make old references with you!
Carmageddon - Windows, July 30th
The game so scary it was BANNED in the UK! More like the game so fucking shit it was banned. Carmageddon is so deeply boring to play on PC that I can only imagine that Stainless Games made it tasteless by 90s standards simply to ramp up demand - much like another game we’ll be covering soon.
Herc’s Adventures - Sony PlayStation, July 31st
“And they said Kratos was the best hero? Shish... they got it wrong, sister! Hercules is clearly better... he even has a coconut weapon.” A surprisingly fun overhead action game that most people only know for... well, I’ll just embed it.
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Mega Man X4 - Sony Playstation, August 1st
A few years ago I tried playing every Mega Man game there is - I gave up at X3 because I was getting bored. Even still, Mega Man bores me - but at least the level design is good. Stay away from the Windows port. Pictured: me in the background yawning.
GoldenEye 007 - Nintendo 64, August 25th
The name’s Intro. Overused intro which I also managed to fuck up twice through the deeply editable medium of text. GoldenEye is like the Seinfeld of console shooters - playing it nowadays you’re unlikely to be amazed but holy shit there’s some absolute greatness in this game. Every sound and every piece of music in GoldenEye is permanently seared into my brain - sometimes I’ll just hear Facility or Frigate in my head alongside the door opening sound and the gentle PEW of the PP7. I mean come on, fucking listen to this and tell me Grant Kirkhope isn’t cool as all hell.
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LEGO Island - Windows, September 26th
The first open world experience I ever had was LEGO Island. It’s still quite good today, utterly deranged animation from the likes of the Infomaniac and Brickster - a cautionary tale for children that giving pizza to high-profile criminals is disastrous for the human LEGO race.
Fallout - Windows, October 10th
War never changes, but franchises do. Fallout’s legendary status in the industry is exemplified in how different it feels. Yes, we had the game Wasteland nine years prior, but until September 97 there was nothing quite like Fallout. From the chilling introduction sequence showing the ruins of the United States to the tragic ending, Fallout is an exercise in pure human misery with the brightest spots of hope it can possibly muster thrown in for good measure. What begins as a tedious isometric point-and-click RPG ends as a minigun-wielding power fantasy, before your entire worth is stripped from you at the finish line. You have 500 days to find a water chip before it’s too late, but you’re constantly being fought by terrifying Super Mutants, irradiated animals, and the biggest monster of all - humanity. See what I did there? If anything, humanity in Fallout’s setting would be the greatest unifying force possible against the horror of the outside world. But how is it? It’s dull, it’s sluggish, and it’s really hard to get into even if you’re already a fan - but push through that and it’s worthwhile to see exactly how far the series got before Todd Howard said “eh fuck it” and had the whole thing dipped into an FEV vat.
Grand Theft Auto - Sony PlayStation, October 21st
To put it simply, the first in the GTA series is now nothing but a novelty. It has an irritating camera, wonky controls, poor graphics and deeply repetitive gameplay. But thank fuck it exists, because without it the Rockstar story may have been very different indeed. It’s quintessential cops and robbers gameplay, spanning across Liberty City, Vice City and San Andreas in one game, but with maps so far removed from their modern incarnations they may as well be named “Not New York, Possibly Bristol and Orange Town”. People really fucking hated Hare Krishnas in the 20th Century, didn’t they?
Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back - Sony PlayStation, October 31
A hard one to talk about, honestly - it’s more Crash and better than the first one. It looks great, and Crash controls so well compared to his first outing. It’ll also keep you playing for 100%, fiendishly addictive and unashamedly difficult. Had a weird cover that moved with your head.
PaRappa the Rapper - Sony PlayStation, November 17th
Type type type the words into the box! (Type, type, type - uh oh - the box?)
PaRappa is a gorgeously stylised rhythm game about rapping to steal the heart of the girl of your dreams - which involves learning karate, getting your driver’s license, selling bottle caps and frogs, making a cake, desperately trying not to shit yourself, and finally performing live on stage. Every one of its segments is so well-produced that they’d genuinely sell like ghost cookies in this era of shite rap. Notable for producing the greatest Jay-Z backing track ever made.
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Sonic R - Sega Saturn, November 18th
Sonic R is absolutely FINE with vibrant textures, interesting levels, neat gimmicks and decent controls. But I’m gonna talk about its fucking AWESOME soundtrack by Richard Jacques and T.J. Davis, an eclectic mix of Europop and New Jack Swing - even thinking about it is bringing tears of absolute joy to my eyes hearing Super Sonic Racing in my head. You’ve got the main theme, Living in the City, Can You Feel the Sunshine, Back in Time, Diamond in the Sky, Work It Out and Number One - all of these are absolute club bangers and genuinely wouldn’t be out of place in a 90s disco.
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Tomb Raider II - Sony PlayStation, November 18th
Lara Croft returns to single-handedly endanger every species on Earth. TR2 is really good, the exploration and puzzle-solving aspects of the first game expanded upon here and the gunplay remaining just as punchy. Lara’s got a fully-functioning ponytail which absolutely boggles the fucking mind - a lot of work went into Lara’s hair for the 2013 reboot, so I can’t imagine the amount of man hours it took to get fluid(ish, come on, it’s the PS1 we’re talking about) hair movements in 1997.
And really, that’s all I played from 1997. I’ve left out big hitters like Quake II, Gran Turismo and Diddy Kong Racing, but I simply haven’t formed an opinion on them yet. Maybe in a future post.
Thanks for reading.
#playstation#ps1#n64#nintendo#jontron#castlevania#carmageddon#mega man#hercules#star fox#mario kart#every copy of mario kart 64 is personalised#sonic#saturn#goldeneye#oddworld#retrospective#1997#gaming#retrogaming#fallout#grand theft auto#gta#parappa#jay-z#lara croft#tomb raider#sonic r
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833
Given the chance, would you ever go into space? I’ve answered this exact question on a recent survey...but yeah absolutely, as long as it was a free opportunity. Outer space has always interested me so it would be awesome to actually get there. What is your all-time favorite thing to snack on? A local brand of chips called Nova, corndogs, powdered fries, and pizza. I couldn’t choose just one :( Have you ever been jealous of anyone's socks? Not in a toxic way but I have seen socks that made me go “damn, I wish I had that” and it’s usually socks based off of famous paintings like Starry Night, The Scream, etc. Do you match your clothing, or are you careless about fashion? The most I’ll match is colors; I’ll make sure the colors I wear complement each other. But I’m not likely to buy outfits that come in parts, like a matching top and skirt that have their own price tags. It’s an annoying scam that makes you have to pay more money for one outfit lol. Know anyone that has amazing fashion taste? There’s a professor in the communication research department of our college that dresses SOOOO well. She’s never recycled an item of clothing either. She dresses literally exactly like Audrey Hepburn, except with more printed clothes.
Do you know or wish you could knit? I don’t know how to knit and have no desire to learn.
Like earmuffs? They’re alright, I guess? I never have to wear them, so I don’t have much of an opinion. Have you ever had the roof of your mouth sore? Yeah, that one time I ate takoyaki while it was still burning hot and I burned off the skin on the roof my mouth. Do you like orange juice? I’ll drink it if it’s served or if it’s free, but I never crave for it. How many times a day do you brush your teeth, honestly? Once or twice. Do you think anyone really looks good in a jumpsuit? Yeah. Well it’s since become a trend so that’s really all there is to know about people’s preferences nowadays. I have several jumpsuits that I feel really good in. Have a collection of anything? Not anymore. Ever ran out of something that made you very upset? Sometimes my family will bring home leftovers from a really good restaurant. When we finish them all up it bums me out. Biggest lie you ever told? Saying ‘yes’ with a big ol’ smile on my face to my high school guidance counselors whenever they ask if my situation at home is good. Is there a song that makes you want to rock out? For sure. I have my fair share of favorite punk/rock bands. Do you have a religion? No. Believe that there is a point to churches? Not a single one. How do eat Oreos? I just bite into them. Never really got into the whole twist-lick-dunk thing because 1) I don’t want to bite into something I had already licked (even if it’s my own saliva lol), and 2) I can’t consume a lot of milk, anyway. -This or That- Sunsets or sunrises? Sunsets. I’ve seen more sunsets than sunrises with Gabie, so I have good memories of them. I don’t like the idea of getting up early just for a sunrise either. Pennies or dimes? Can’t relate because we don’t use these concepts. Coffee or tea? Coffeeeeeeee. Never been a tea person, actually. Windows or Mac? Mac. I did use Windows for a while, but when it comes down to it I would rather get a Mac. Headphones or speakers? Headphones. You get more of the sound when you listen to music, so the listening experience is a lot better. Loud or soft & quiet? Depends on the context...I like my concerts loud, but I obviously prefer soft and quiet when I’m doing something like going to bed. Odd or even numbers? I don’t really have a preference lol. The cookie dough or the actual cookies? Cookie dough, heh. Speaking of, I recently found a recipe for edible cookie dough but I keep putting it off... Mp3 players or iPod? iPod, mostly because MP3s went out of style like, a decade ago. Calm or rock music? Again, depends on my mood. I’d listen to rock music if I’m pissed off or going through a similar emotion, and I’d prefer hearing calm music when I wanna focus on something, like if I’m doing surveys. Love or lust? Love. I don’t feel lust for the most part. Converse or Vans? Converse. They’re AJ’s favorite and I find them more comfy. The few times I borrowed my sister’s Vans I always got blisters at the end of the day. Lipsyncing or actual singing? I would prefer to lipsync than to let people hear my actual singing voice; but if I’m watching a performance obviously I’d want the performers to be using their real voice. Walking or running? Walking. I find strolls to be relaxing. Dancing or watching others dance? Watching others. Dancers are crazy talented. With friends or by yourself? When it comes down to it, I wanna be with friends. Local concert or a popular band? Popular band. It’s rarer, so I find it more precious. I still support local though! Blond or brown hair? Brown. Idk, I just don’t know a lot of people who are blonde. Red or black? I like both, but I like black slightly more. Blue or green eyes? Green. Having fun or being asleep? Having fuuuun. Carnival or park? Park. I can’t go on rides anyway, so a nice stroll and picnic at the park sounds lovely to me. -Favorites- Favorite thing to buy? Uh food, I guess? I’m super easy to please lol. What do your favorite pair of socks look like? My bacon and eggs one. Kind of tea/coffee? Iced tea/iced caramel macchiato. Way of communication? Face-to-face with Gab, instant messenger/text for everyone else. Time to sleep in to? Midnight is most convenient for me. Band to dance to? PARAMORE. Also helps that their music has turned dance-y too. Favorite gum? Don’t really have one. I’ll chew on any kind/flavor of gum. Type of cereal? Cookie Crisps. Color of hoodie? I don’t mind color, as long as the hoodie is comfortable and keeps me warm. Spice? Cumin smells lovely. Favorite thing to touch/feel? Dogs. Website? Probably Twitter. I’ve been on it the longest and still have no reason to be tired of it. Person in your life? My girlfriend...but also my dogs, if they can count. -Would you Rather- Hire one of your friends, or fire an enemy? Hire one of my friends, as long as they work well without me. Firing an enemy seems a little bit more unprofessional, especially if they objectively perform well. Be a contestant on American Idol or America's Got Talent? I’d go with AGT I guess? I’ve watched some snippets of the show and their judges seem more nice, whereas on American Idol the judges tend to laugh or embarrass you if you do badly. Live in Britain or Australia? Australia. I feel like it’s a more Filipino-friendly country, not that Britain isn’t but yeah. Travel by plane or helicopter? Plane. Aren’t helicopters loud? I think I’d be more relaxed in an airplane. Trade places with a male or a female for a day? I’d rather remain a woman, thanks. Shop at Wal-Mart or Target? I don’t know. I’m honestly curious though – for the Americans survey-takers, what’s the difference between them and what do y’all prefer? Hahaha Read Shakespeare or Artistotle's work? I internally winced at both lol but when it comes down to it, Shakespeare. I do like his work, as long as I’m reading a modern English version. I hate philosophy straight up, so that’s a definite no on Aristotle. Have a regular donut or donut holes? Regular donut. Spell better or smell better? Smell. I can already spell well. Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? This is horrible, no one ever *wants* to be stuck in a natural calamity. 80's or 90's music? I like the 80s sound better. Eat a plain peanut butter sandwich or PB & J? Peanut butter sandwich. I tried PB&J before to see what the hype was about, and it just didn’t work for my Asian tastebuds. Wear a uniform every day or go half-naked? Wear a uniform. I wore one in Catholic school for 14 years and survived, so it’d just be the same thing. Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa. I’m more familiar with him. The Easter Bunny’s not really a part of our culture so I don’t actually know what it’s supposed to do. Apple pie or Pizza pie? Pizzaaaaa. Y’all should know me by now haha. Spend an afternoon cleaning or clean things later? I’d rather work early so I can be satisfied earlier. Flying or X-Ray vision? Flying. Dentist or Doctor? I guess dentist? There’s fewer reasons to be scared when you go to the dentist because the health problems are just limited to your mouth, I guess. Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight? Both sound awful. I’m never one to start a fight and I never initiate gossip myself, though I do take part in it sometimes. Get rid of your favorite shoes or your favorite pants? Pants. I love my shoes. Visit Florida or New York? New York. Myspace or Facebook (or do they both suck)? Facebook. It sucks, but at least the memes there are hilarious as fuck.
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Masterchef AU or Hell's Kitchen Au
I love cooking shows, so I would like to read many AUs that deal with this.
These are my ideas of the twenty best participants.
1. Yuuri Katsuki: his specialty is Japanese and American cuisine, but his real passion is desserts, and his dream is to open a chain of bakeries worldwide and create his own brand. He also stands out for his beautiful and creative plating.
2. Victor Nikiforov: He has great knowledge in Russian and French cuisine, and dreams of opening his own restaurant inspired by these two styles. He is the favorite to be a captain in group challenges, due to his ease in working with others and his excellent organizing skills.
3. Yuri Plisetsky. he is the youngest competitor, who despite having natural talent, he still lacks many cooking techniques to learn, sometimes he is overcome by his strong temper, so he is not good working in a group. He helps his grandfather to attend a small bakery they have in Moscow. he dream of opening his own restaurant with musical themes to attract the attention of the young public.
4. Christophe Giacometti: He stands out in French and Swiss cuisine, he is considered the king of cheese, wine and chocolate in the kitchen. His dishes are always luxurious and decadent. His dream is to work as a chef for the most expensive and luxurious restaurants and hotels around the world.
5. Phichit Chulanont: He is the king of Thai food, shows incredible talent to become a great chief chef in the kitchen, due to his quick adaptation skills and his outgoing and optimistic nature, although sometimes he lacks the more technical skills of cooking, which is a disadvantage against competitors that stand out for their skill and precision. Her dream is to make Thai food known to everyone.
6. Otabek Altin. the best chef in Kazakhstan an efficient chef who knows something about Russian and European cuisine, his main difficulty is that although his dishes are delicious they lack creativity and are not memorable. He would like to study hospitality. Sometimes he has difficulty communicating with other chefs, due to his introverted nature, because of this he is a weak link in group challenges.
7. Jean-Jacques Leroy. He is the king of the Canadian kitchen, he has great confidence which can take him far in the business, however he is not good at following instructions and does not listen to opinions. Despite being a good captain in theory, in practice his ego leads him to make great mistakes and not appreciate the skills of other chefs, which is why almost everyone hate him.
8. Isabella Yang. she specializes in the fermentation of different foods and ingredients
9. Guang Hong-ji He is well versed in Chinese cuisine, demonstrates a keen mind in the application of spices through Chinese cuisine, although sometimes he is undecided, which does not make him a good team leader and lacks experience.
10. Michele Crispino, Italian cuisine with emphasis on the Mediterranean, a chef who needs to be more independent and creative to stand out from the heap.
11. Lee Seung-gil He specializes in the area of Molecular Gastronomy, a branch of science that investigates the physical and chemical changes that occur during the cooking process,
12. Emil Nekola. He dominates the smoking technique in the kitchen, Its cuisine also specializes in the use of wild game meats. he raises and takes care of numerous wild animals on his farm, including a deer, a goose, a rabbit and a wild boar
13. Georgi Popovich His kitchen is based on vegetables, sometimes he lets himself be controlled by his emotions, easily distracted.
14. Leo de la Iglesia. He is a specialist in Mexican and Latin cuisine, creative and innovative
15. Mila Babicheva She is an outgoing and lively girl, occasionally interferes without prior invitation. she emphasizes her ability to observe carefully the people who cause her curiosity. She is self-confident and tends to be direct in what she thinks about the people she interacts with. Her specialty is exotic cuisine, she is a specialist in the use of the knife technique, besides that she is a person who has a vast knowledge about all the things that belong to the ingredients, from the technique of carving to the methods of sacrifice and a bottomless curiosity for everything. She has shown to have an excellent analytical eye and can guess the dishes to be prepared just by observing the ingredients chosen by a chef.
16. Sara Crispino. The queen of Italian cuisine. His specialty is pasta, pizza and creams, also handles herbs with ease. one of the favorites to be a captain and work as a team, has good cooking techniques, and would like to open a family restaurant in Rome.
17. Yuko Nishigōri she decided to specialize in medicinal cuisine, dreams of opening her own healthy restaurant, she is very fun, enthusiastic and motivating. she would be a great head chef.
18. Takesh nishigori. He has demonstrated a high degree of skill in dishes based on various types of meat, whose depth of knowledge is the best. He shows great control and experience in the handling of knives, especially those of butchers that he uses with amazing ability to make the cuts for his dishes, this combined with his wild physical strength allows him to remove very precisely pieces of low quality of the meat. Despite his great abilities he also shows several weaknesses. Such as focusing too much on the meat leaving aside the other ingredients of the dish as well as giving more importance to the presentation of the dish than to its balance.
19. Kenjirou Minami. Japanese cook, dreams of going to cooking school, and focusing on Asian cooking. He has great energy in the kitchen and is eager to learn.
20. Anya Ivanov she focuses on cooking ingredients that come from the sea
Hisashi Morooka. The presenter of the program.
judges
· Minako Okukawa A famous pastry chef, stands out in the preparation of wedding cakes.
· Yakov Feltsman Restaurant owner and British TV host. Throughout his gastronomic career he has been awarded 17 Michelin stars, of which he now maintains seven.
· Lilia Baranovskaya she is an American chef, author, and television personality. She is the chef, founder, and owner of the best bakery in the world.
· Celestino Cialdini He prospered with the opening of seven Italian restaurants in New York as well as other businesses in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. On the other hand, he expanded to the wine sector with the purchase of wineries in Italy and Argentina.
#yuri on ice#yuuri katsuki#viktor nikiforov#victor nikiforov#yuuri x victor#yoi fic ideas#yoi#yoi aus
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001. MEET JULES
FULL NAME: jules antoine beauchamp. PREFERRED NAME: jules. NICKNAME/S: jul. DATE OF BIRTH: november 13th, 1999. GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis male & he/his. ORIENTATION: hetero. RELIGION: non-practicing christian. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: in a relationship with noémie leroux. OCCUPATION: full time university student. RESIDENCE: flatiron district, new york city.
002. CHECK JULES’ BACKGROUND
HOMETOWN: saint tropez, france. NATIONALITY: french. ETHNIC BACKGROUND: french and italian. LINGUISTICS: french which is his native language and english and italian in a fluent level. EDUCATION: he studies mechanical engineering at columbia university. CRIMINAL RECORD: clean. BIRTH ORDER: second though he’s now an only child. FATHER: françois pierre beauchamp, born on june 6th, 1970 in rennes, france, currently residing in montecarlo, monaco. he is a businessman and the owner and CEO of rocamadour spirits group. MOTHER: vivienne giulia del vecchio, born on september 14th, 1974 in sicily, italy, currently residing in montecarlo, monaco. she is an italian billionaire heiress, writer and the owner of del vecchio oil group. SISTER/S: none. BROTHER/S: guillaume maxime beauchamp, born on april 17th, 1997 in saint tropez, france, passed away on july 16th, 2000 in saint tropez, france. SIGNIFICANT OTHER: noémie leroux. CHILDREN: none so far. OTHER RELEVANT FAMILY: none. EX/ES: none, he didn’t have any solid relationships before noémie. PETS: moon, a cavalier king charles.
003. GET UP CLOSE & PERSONAL
HEIGHT: 6′0″ or 183 cm. WEIGHT: between 171 lbs or 77.5 kg and 175 lbs or 79 kg. BODY BUILD: as someone who has exercised and been involved in sports from a young age, jules has always been what would be described as fit. though he’s not obsessed about his diet or his routines, he prefers to eat clean and keep up a 5 to 6 day a week work out schedule. this being said, he has an overall athletic frame with particularly defined abs, toned legs and arms. EYE COLOR: brown. EYESIGHT: his eyesight has no problems. HAIR COLOR & STYLE: he has blonde, lighter during summer, darker in winter months and usually he has his hair shorter on the sides and longer on the top so a very low maintenance look that isn’t particularly hard to style. DOMINANT HAND: right. NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: his smile which, following most people’s opinion, seems to make him seem even younger than he is. overall, if it could be considered as such, the hint of youth, often mistaken by shyness, that his features portray. as the opposition to it, the amount of tattoos scattered all over his body are a standout, as is his athletic frame. SCARS AND MARKS: on top of the usual every day little scars and marks, jules has some which are courtesy of all the exercise he does on a daily basis. otherwise, there’s nothing that is particularly notable or that stands out. TATTOOS: he got a shhh… on the underside of the index finger of his left hand — reference. his following piece consists of a cross with wings on the back of his neck — reference — something that symbolizes his faith and personal beliefs, and definitely the one tattoo he doesn’t like to expand much on for it’s a touchy one. soon afterwards, when one of his best friends - gabrielle - decided she wanted to get inked but was reticent since it would be a first, jules ended up going with her and getting a matching piece ; gabrielle’s micro tattoo reads we’re all in the same game; just different levels split into two parts in a cursive kind of font and is placed on the inside of her left wrist, whereas jules’ completes it and reads dealing with the same hell; just different devils. - his is also split in two, the same font, except it’s placed on the inside of his right wrist. as a consequence of a night where him, léo and henri got completely plastered, he has a smiley face tattooed on his toe. later on, and as the fulfillment of something he really wanted, jules proceeded to get the first piece of what would soon become a half sleeve on his left arm. he got a roaring tiger to symbolize his independence and free spirit while at the same representing strength. a little above it, and completing the half sleeve, he has a blooming rose which has more than one meaning to him - it was chosen to complement the tiger because despite the power and strength, he wishes for balance within his life but more so, and the primary reason why he acquired it back in the day, it’s because, atop of being one of noémie’s favorite flowers, roses can symbolize hope which, truly, translated into, back when he got it, him hoping for the best and hoping they would get together one day. next to the rose and above the tiger, he has a treble clef simply to symbolize his love for music. atop of his half sleeve, on the back of his left arm, he then got two fists bumping, another matching tattoo he got with gabrielle when he was visiting her in kailua. he has a distortion clock, dali’s style, merged into the back of his half sleeve, a tattoo he got soon after noémie started dating mathis and he got his heart broken. clock tattoos often represent an endless love, the meaning stands for his, the distortion only adds to the meaning by representing how heartbroken and helpless he felt at the time. towards the end of his half sleeve, and on the inside of his left wrist, he has the geographic coordinates both to where guillaume - his older brother - was born and where he passed away. he has a diamond, also merged into the back of his sleeve, something he has gotten when he was going through a rough patch as a reminder to focus on the positivity and be strong. additionally, within the half sleeve, you’ll find some more pieces like a G., the initial of his deceased brother’s first name; an anchor, something he got randomly but that also reminds him to stay grounded and a micro tattoo saying côte d’azur meant to represent his home. lastly, merged into the back of his half sleeve, he has a blacklight tattoo that’s otherwise invisible to the eye, reading six septembre, noé’s birthdate. he has the world map with a plane flying in between continents and a compass next to it, on the inside of his right bicep, something that he got soon after realizing he wanted to see more of the world and that he wasn’t willing to, eternally, stay in south of france. as for more recent tattoos, he has gotten the quote peace of mind on his left upper arm which he has begun to shade, and thus begun to extend his half-sleeve into a proper full-sleeve tattoo. higher above the two fists bumping he’s gotten with gabrielle, and complementing the tattoo with some additional shading, he has two keys crossing over each other with a V on one of the keys and a F on the other, representing two key people in his life - vivienne and françois, his mother and father respectively and next to it, he has a tiny sashimi roll tattooed, not really meaning much other than his love for food and sushi. likewise, merged into the others with the shading and all, he has a endless knot on the back of his arm. he has the sentence mon mond fou on the right side of his ribcage, in white ink. along his left hip, he has the quote il vaut mieux faire que dire meaning doing is better than saying, which resembles the whole actions are better than words, something jules avidly believes in. on the underside of his ring finger, he has a N’s - not-so-subtly meaning he’s noémie’s - followed by a micro dix juin - which is when he and noé officially started dating. he has the quote mind over matter is magic along the outer side of his right foot, a note to self more so than anything else, and on his right side, often covered up by his arm, he has the sentence la famille avant tout vertically tattooed in micro, cursive font. PIERCINGS: none. VOICECLAIM: fabio quartararo. ACCENT & INTENSITY: though he spends a good chunk of his time speaking english and has been immersed in the new york environment for nearly a year, there’s no hint of a new yorker accent. from his words down to his enunciation and the way he carries himself as he speaks, you can tell he’s french. the little twists and quirks attached to the words make the south of france accent peer through and the fact his closest friends and girlfriend are french as well, help keeping the accent and its intensity intact. ALLERGIES: apples and cashews. PHOBIAS & FEARS: being stuck in the same place - he’s not claustrophobic but the idea of being confined to a space, no matter how small or how big, it tends to send him spiraling into a state of utmost anxiety. MENTAL & PHYSICAL ILLNESSES: none so far. ALCOHOL USE: sometimes, mostly on social situations. SMOKING: he doesn’t smoke. NARCOTICS USE: no, he doesn’t use drugs. INDULGENT FOOD: it’s not something jul does very often. SPLURGE SPENDING: very rarely. GAMBLING: no, never.
004. DIG DEEPER
CAN THEY DRIVE? yes, he can drive. CAN THEY COOK & BAKE? yes and yes. CAN THEY CHANGE A FLAT TIRE? yes. CAN THEY TIE A TIE? ish. CAN THEY SWIM? yes. CAN THEY RIDE A BICYCLE? yes. CAN THEY JUMP START A CAR? no. CAN THEY BRAID HAIR? badly. CAN THEY PICK A LOCK? no. EXTROVERTED OR INTROVERTED? extroverted. DISORGANIZED OR ORGANIZED? in-between. CLOSE OR OPEN MINDED? open minded. CALM OR ANXIOUS? calm. PATIENT OR IMPATIENT? patient. OUTSPOKEN OR RESERVED? in-between. LEADER OR FOLLOWER? in-between. OPTIMISTIC OR PESSIMISTIC? optimistic. TRADITIONAL OR MODERN? modern. HARD-WORKING OR LAZY? hard-working. CULTURED OR UNCULTURED? cultured. LOYAL OR DISLOYAL? loyal. FAITHFUL OR UNFAITHFUL? faithful. NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD? a mixture of both depending on the days. HEAVY OR LIGHT SLEEPER? not heavy, nor light. an in-between. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee. DAY OR NIGHT? night. TAKING BATHS OR SHOWERS? showers. COCA COLA OR PEPSI? neither. CATS OR DOGS? dogs. NETFLIX OR CINEMA? netflix. SHOWS OR MOVIES? shows. LAPTOP OR GAMING CONSOLE? gaming console. HEALTHY OR JUNK FOOD? healthy food. ICE CREAM OR FROZEN YOGURT? frozen yogurt. PIZZA OR HAMBURGER? pizza. LOLLIPOPS OR GUMMY WORMS? neither. BEACH OR POOL? beach. SNOWBALLS FIGHTING OR ICESKATING? snowballs fighting. LITERATURE OR SCIENCE? science. HISTORY OR ART? art. CHOCOLATE BARS OR COTTON CANDY? neither. XBOX OR PLAYSTATION? playstation. FACE-TO-FACE OR PHONE INTERACTIONS? face-to-face interactions. DRAMA OR SCI-FI? both. HORROR OR COMEDY? comedy.
005. JULES’ FAVORITES
FAVORITE ACTIVITY: working out. FAVORITE ANIMAL: lion. FAVORITE BOOK: thinking, fast and slow by daniel kahneman. FAVORITE COLOR/S: green. FAVORITE CUISINE: italian. FAVORITE DISH/ES: pissaladière, pan bagnat, gnocchi, profiterole, bananas foster. FAVORITE DRINK/S: pumpkin spice latte and plain iced water. FAVORITE FLOWER/S: roses. FAVORITE GEM: emerald. FAVORITE MOVIE: green book by peter farrelly. FAVORITE SONG: mile high by james blake and travis scott. FAVORITE SCENT/S: citrus, jasmine and musk. FAVORITE SHOW/S: brooklyn nine-nine, how i met your mother, f.r.i.e.n.d.s, the office, fresh prince of bel air, the big bang theory, new girl, the simpsons & rick and morty. FAVORITE SPORT/S & TEAM THEY SUPPORT: soccer, he supports as monaco and juventus fc, motogp, he supports yamaha moto racing, formula 1, he supports mercedes amg petronas, tennis and cycling. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR: summer. VACATION DESTINATION: banff, canada and anywhere in croatia.
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II.
Sarai Nazaire
“You know what I forgot to get while in the city? A pizza. I kept telling myself over and over again that I needed to order a pizza to the hotel and never did. Don’t get me wrong, we have good pizza spots in Atlanta, but there’s nothing like a New York slice. Being that Jesse’s from Chicago, you know they have their own style out there and we debate all the time about which region has the better pizza, but New York takes it by a landslide. Just don’t tell him that I said that.” I stuck the applicator back into the tube of my MAC “Spite” lipglass while she plopped back against the seat in disappointment for having failed to fulfill her craving. I wish she had of said something last night when she decided to travel over from the city to spend her final night on the East Coast at my house. We ordered a couple of dishes from this local Mexican restaurant that left my stomach in shambles throughout the night. I still feel slightly uneasy. Had we gone with a pizza, I probably wouldn’t have had to skip breakfast this morning.
“You’ll be back. We can grab pizza then.”
“I will be. The question is, when are you coming to Atlanta? Come down so we can have some fun in the city. We’re not New York, but the southern hospitality is damn good.”
“As soon as I find the time, I’m on the first flight out there. Contrary to what you believe, I actually enjoy Atlanta. I wouldn’t mind living down there. It’s a great city.” My eyes caught her own as she glanced at me from a side angle and a snide snicker followed to match her mood.
“That’s bullshit and we both know it. You’re an east coast girl to the core. I remember when we were in Toronto at All Star. You looked like a fish out of water. I don’t think I can ever see you moving anywhere else for an extended period of time until you’re saggy and old.”
“First of all, just because I’ll be old doesn’t mean that I’ll be saggy. Have you seen Angela Bassett? That’s the goal right there. Second, I do love it up here but I’m not opposed to living elsewhere at some point in my life. It just depends on the circumstances and opportunities. Right now, aside from it being home, it makes perfect sense to be on the east coast. So, until something comes up, this is where I’ll be.” I was the third hire for The Sports Haven and it was a time clenching phone call that came just before I was due to take another opportunity ESPN presented me with out in Los Angeles. I contacted a realtor in hunt for an apartment and intended to return to settle where I’d be residing, but my destiny ended up being in Connecticut. Though I wasn’t mentally prepared to make such a move, I prayed on it, and was ready. I’m sure it may have been my mother’s prayers of desperation to God that kept me here. She dreaded the reality that I wouldn’t be within close proximity to her though I’m not sure why. We’re not in one each other faces much regardless.
“With the position that you have up there at ESPN, I don’t blame you.”
“And once you’re up there with me, we’re going to turn it up. I need a bit more estrogen on that panel from time to time, even though I hold my own against all three of them.”
“That you do sister. That you do.” Our hands met for a high five and I pulled my small mirror out of my traveling case to check and see if I put on enough concealer. I’ve been dealing with sleep deprivation for the past two weeks or so and it’s certainly starting to show in my under-eye area. The seemingly endless hours at work aside, whenever I do have time to myself it’s either invaded by wanted or unwanted plans with the very view people in my life or I’m trying to tie up loose ends that I am not able to do during the week. I’ve considered hiring a personal assistant but I don’t think I’m at a point where I have the potential to become disorganized or worn down just yet. I intend to give it a bit more time.
“Your face looks good. You don’t need to double check anymore.”
“I’m just making sure everything is in place. I refuse to have Linda touching my face today or ever again. I avoid it at all costs.” I’m not one to discriminate against anyone or much of anything for as long as it’s not arming people, but I absolutely do have a bias when it comes to who does my hair and make-up. I need black hands and talent involved in the process at all times. Sure, there’s talent in every ethnic group, but when it comes to those of your own, there’s a certain level of respect and dedication you’re not going to get elsewhere. I know my foundation shade is going to be on point and that the concealer shade won’t have me in front of the camera looking like Casper The Friendly Ghost. My baby hairs are going to be slicked down just right when I’m rocking some braids and the frontal on my wigs will blend into my hairline seamlessly. If it’s one thing that I don’t play around with, it’s my personal presentation and it’s because I know that I’m going to be critiqued the harshest for two specific discrimination types; my blackness and womanhood. During my contract negotiation, EPSN agreed to hire hairstylist Annagjid Taylor, a mutual friend of my sister and myself. I’ve yet to find a make-up artist but until I do, I’ll handle it on my own. Linda can stay out of my dressing room.
“That woman slightly messed up your make up once and you’ve been holding a grudge against her ever since.” I couldn’t join her in the laughter that filled the SUV. My ears, overall face, and neck were three different colors that day and it was beyond obvious. My mother was the first one to call me and ask what the hell was going on and she doesn’t even watch ESPN. Social media had a field day with it.
“And I’m keeping that grudge.”
“I forgot to mention that I saw you speaking with Odell at the party. That’s one of my favorite guys. He has such a humble spirit and he’s super nice.”
“Hm.”
During the time frame when I was researching his career and background, I viewed plenty of interviews where I can easily admit that he exuded a calmness that I did not expect. After having heard so many opposing and confusing opinions about his character, I presumed that he’d be the “push back” style of athlete who deliberately gave reporters a difficult time in drawing information and responses out of him simply because he could. I’ve dealt with many of those types and it takes the patience of God to be able to sit or stand before them without reacting to such brutal attitudes. Marshawn Lynch is a prime example of one, but I’ve gotten used to it and we’ve built up a mutual respect for one another. Beckham Jr., on the other hand, isn’t likely to behave that way. He’ll give you short answers if he’s flustered or dealing with the disappointment of a game loss. You might receive a deliberate straight-faced expression if he’s being asked the same probing question repeatedly, but he’s never disrespected a reporter. I have never come across any bad commentary about an interview with him.
“He’s been wanting to meet you, actually. He spends a lot of time out in L.A. during the off season. While in town last month, I ran into him at an event out there and in the midst of our conversation he asked about you. He thought you were there too. He mentioned something about you two having failed chance encounters. What is that about?
“I don’t know.” Friend or not, I refuse to get into the details about why I had no desire to meet him or the particulars of what he said last night. With Taylor, I know I’ll never hear the end of it.
“So, what did he say last night?”
“He thanked me for what I said and that was it.” Technically, that is it.
“And what did you say?”
“Uh…you’re welcome.” I couldn’t refrain from laughing at that. “What else was I supposed to say?”
“I don’t know. I just thought you two would have ended up speaking more. He’s been eager for that moment. He’s a really big fan. One of the things that I respect about him is how much respect he has for women. There’s no discrimination on his end. The man hosts a football clinic for women every year and the camp that he does for kids is also extended to girls. Whenever we talk, he always gives me props for my career path and then he fangirls over you. He goes on and on about the way you read off career stats and how much you care about the talent over everything else. He’s confident that you’re the best analyst on the network.”
“I’m not the best.” Surely, I’m working to get there, but as of right now, I’m still learning the ropes.
“It’s his opinion, not yours. Stop selling yourself short either way.”
“Well, I appreciate his kind words.”
“He’s a nice guy.” Our eyes met and mine instantly narrowed at her emphasis on his niceness. Initially, I didn’t understand the point of it until that all too familiar smile appeared on her face. “I’m just saying.”
“Okay.”
“Why are you so short about him?”
“Why are you so long winded about him? I thought Jesse’s your guy.”
“I don’t want Odell. I’ve never viewed him in that manner, but I’m not Stevie Wonder and neither are you. The man is fine as hell.”
“Okay.” I’ve encountered more athletes than I can count over the last four years. Initially, I found myself paying attention to the exterior of a few of them because all of that muscle is right there in front of you, but eventually, it became so normalized in my life that it began to roll right off of me. When you’re so focused on getting the job done, who gives a damn what they look like?
“You’re such a hermit crab.”
John slowly came to a stop in front of Terminal B at Newark Liberty International Airport. We’d made it in just enough time for her to comfortably get through TSA and to her gate without having to put her black Converses to the test.
“Text me when you land so that I can know you’ve made it back safely.” We tightly embraced one another as we always do whenever we greet and leave one another. “And don’t forget because you always do and then I have to call and curse you out.”
“I won’t forget. It’s been a fun week with you, even though I’m sure you’re drained because we’ve hung out just about every day after you left work. Finish up strong today and get some rest. I know you need it.” That’s a fact.
“I will. I’ll be in the bed with some sort of take out as soon as I get home tonight.”
“Fair enough. I’ll see you soon.”
“You will. Enjoy Jesse, because I overheard that he’s heading your way in two days and it’s not for work.” It was my turn to imply what actually is the truth. Despite her playful denial about what they feel for one another and how they navigate it, I know what she feels is sincere. Her face instantly lights up at the mere mention of his name.
“You bitch. Shut up. You enjoy your day because I have a feeling that it’s going to be a pleasant one.”
“It’s always pleasant for the most part.” There are days when it isn’t, but anyone with a job can attest to that no matter what position held or how much money is being made.
“Love you. I’ll text you.”
“Love you.”
With two years in, I’m still considered to be a rookie around the studio and yet I can’t recall too many moments when I’ve ever felt like one. The executives, producers, and all of my colleagues have been pleasant. One of the surprising perks has been my dressing room. Like all spaces in the beginning, it started off as nothing more than a desk and a chair in the corner of the room. Since then, it has transitioned from looking like a prison cell to being filled with the warmth of nude shades and the comforting scent of eucalyptus and spearmint. There are a few finishing touches that I’m going to work on, but even without them, it’s nearly as comfortable as my den area at home.
“Good morning Sarai.” Amy poked her head into a small opening at the door in the same manner that she always does, as if it makes her presence any less invasive since she doesn’t knock.
“Morning.”
“So, I just want to make you aware of a slight change on the docket today. We’re going to pull about twenty minutes of the show’s typical running time for a one on one with you and OBJ. It’s just preseason talk. Of course, you two can get into your commentary about him. It’ll be a full circle moment to put a close to that.”
“Excuse me? Is Chad not available for it? I thought we’re having Chris Broussard and Terrell Owens on today?” On Monday we went over everything for the entire week and although we do briefings every morning, nothing has changed until now. I haven’t heard a single comment of possibility that he would be joining us here at the network today.
“As a content creator yourself, you know that it doesn’t make sense for Chad to do it. This is a last-minute call by Chip. I didn’t even know about it.”
“I don’t have any questions prepared for this. This is bullshit.” For the first time ever, I blurted out profanity in the workplace and despite not being proud of it, I couldn’t help myself. I hate being put on the spot with a passion. I am not spontaneous. I’m no daredevil. No, I don’t do everything by the book, but I damn sure try my best to do so, because I can’t stand fucked up results.
“I’d say just pull from priors and maybe draw up a few over the next thirty.”
“Priors? I’ve never interviewed him. Amy, you know this.”
“And I also know of your capabilities, so this will go smoothly. It’s not an in-depth sit down. It’s preseason talk. There’s nothing to stress about. You got it Sarai. You always have it.” Before I could respond, she slipped out of the door.
And that’s the problem. You let people pull some crap on you once and they’ll continue doing it if you don’t put your foot down. They’ve had me go into a random one on one with Serena Williams that wasn’t expected and then there was another with Kobe, prior to his retirement and him being my colleague. Granted, it’s what made him respect me, but I still would have preferred to be ready.
“Girl, you get to sit across from that fine ass man today. Can I meet him? You know I never ask you to meet anyone, but him? I just want to stand in front of him and see if he’s just as fine as he is in magazines and on television. I don’t even care about sports, but I’d make a sport out of slurping him.” I nearly choked on air. Annagjid salaciously ran her tongue over her lips as I glared at her though the mirror and had the audacity to follow up her lewd behavior with a pelvic thrust.
“Just for that, I’ll make sure he keeps his distance. I’d hate for him to refuse to ever come here again.”
“Did you say cum?”
“Anna!”
“I’m just saying. The man looks like a Greek God. That’s Zeus and I’m trying to be Hera.”
“You do know that Hera was most famous for being extremely jealous and vengeful against all of Zeus’ lovers and the illegitimate children he had with them, right?”
“And that’s exactly what I would do if that was my man. Let a bitch try to come after what’s mine and I’m whooping ass on sight.” Her antics never fail to make me laugh and I needed something to lighten the mood after Amy’s curveball in my day.
“You’re nuts. I swear.”
“And your ponytail is looking bomb too. I made sure those edges are slicked to perfection. This dress is hitting every curve and got the ass looking right. You’re ready.” I’d chosen an ash blue sleeveless Roland Mouret pencil dress for today. The only other option I had in mind was this exact dress in black, but it’s Friday and I’d rather not look like I’m heading to mourn someone’s death. It’s classy and there’s something about the golden zipper in the back that makes it sexy. My mother would be pleased. I doubt she’d deem me to be her son in a skirt today.
“I’m ready for what?”
“You have to look your best while in front of him. Every woman should.”
“For what? If I could, I’d interview him in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He’s not President Obama.”
“Obama and those Dumbo ears wishes he looked like that.”
“You know what? I’m not about to allow you to disrespect my forever President over a New York Giants wide receiver, so I’m going to act like you didn’t say that.”
“Oh, I said it. Know and remember that.”
Owens and Broussard were our first visitors which gave me more than enough time to figure out some type of format and direction to what I’d ask Beckham Jr. during every commercial break. I’d describe today’s show as rather lax because we spent far more time laughing at Chad and Terrell’s antics than we did speaking about the up and coming football season and the tension between Kyrie Irving and Lebron James that has lead to him wanting to be traded. You put a set of best friends who happen to be former NFL players together and what do you get? Endless jokes.
“Aye, don’t go too hard on Odell either. You nice as hell but you mean as hell too.” Chad squeezed my shoulders playfully as his warning went into one ear and right out of the other.
“I am not mean.”
“Shit. You boss my bald ass around all the time, but that’s okay, because I like it. You beat by the way. Face is snatched. Edges laid. The ratio between the front of that sandal and your big toe is on point. Apply pressure on they asses.” Chad’s my second favorite, after Fred. I don’t think he takes much of anything seriously and I appreciate it so much because it brightens my day around here.
“You are such a clown yo. Move.” Our laughter filled the set as he wrapped me into a bear hug from behind.
“Don’t laugh too hard because your foundation is going to crack and then you’re going to have smile lines.”
“Never that!” I learned a trick a long time ago to make sure that never happens.
The space where I’d be interviewing Beckham was just another set a few feet away. Though a bit too intimate in setting for what I planned on asking him, I’d take it. It’s less cameras and lights involved. There’s also much less man power around directing which way to sit, which camera to look into, and the timeframe in which you have to get your thought out before moving on to the next topic. When I think back to my days of strictly writing for ESPN Magazine and Sports Illustrated, I can admit that I miss it from time to time. There’s nothing quite like being able to sit down somewhere, with your laptop or even a pen and paper, and just pour your everything into whatever your focus is. I don’t want to say that broadcasting is microwavable journalism because that would be insulting, but it’s extremely fast paced and often time, stories are left behind as quickly as they’re told. I still have clippings of some of my favorite sports articles from my childhood. I have bookmarks online of articles that I’ve enjoyed over the years, some written by people I’ve met in school or elsewhere, and others from those I simply admire from afar. I still grab magazines from the newsstands in the city. Though I do watch all of the other shows on this network, I certainly do make sure to visit the website to check out what our online journalists are writing. There’s something special about studying a subject and descriptively writing about who they are in a manner that exudes the perfect imagery and it moves me unlike anything else. Though I don’t write as much as I used to, I still try to convey that art when I’m sitting down with someone. My aim is to humanize before anything else.
“Sarai Nazaire.”
His low-pitched and yet calming voice commanded my attention and I granted it by turning to where he stood. Much like a week ago, his piercing eyes pervaded my own, as his blonde curls poked out beyond the hood covering his head. He chose to be lax, in a warm green sweat suit and Nike sneakers.
“Hello.” I extended my hand for his own and our skin met in an instant. “How are you?”
“I’m well. How are you?”
“I’m well.”
“This is my mom, Heather.” It was easy to tell. He resembles the tall beauty quite a bit and they have identical smiles. Whenever he speaks of her, he hails her as his reason for not only being but also for the athleticism. She’d been a tremendous track star in her earlier days and even gave birth to him before she could head to the Olympic trials. It makes perfect sense for her to have believed in him when he assured her that he was going to be an NFL player when he was about eight years old.
“Mrs. Van Norman. It’s nice to meet you.” I released his hand and immediately reached for hers.
“Please call me Heather and it’s so nice to meet you. We’re huge fans. We all love you in our house.” If I were their complexion, I’m sure my cheeks would be the color of apples right now.
“Thank you so much.”
“Oh no, I have to thank you. You know, he’s a grown man but he’s also my baby and whenever he is or feels attacked, it feels like it’s coming down on me too. I have never heard anyone outside of friends and family speak as highly of him as you did and it caused such a shift in the way that he is reported on nowadays. He can be a knucklehead and all is fair when he’s having one of those moments, but it really does feel like he’s being given a fair chance to be himself without hell to pay for it.” I’m not a mother, but I can imagine what it feels like to turn on your television or surf the web and see such negativity about your child all over the place. It’s even worse when the negativity stems from situations that aren’t crimes. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing when I sounded off about him, but to hear the manner in which it comforted his mother means quite a bit to me.
“There’s no need to thank me for that, really. The one thing that the naysayers cannot negate is his talent. When he’s on the field, he performs. Everything else is just noise. I believe you birthed a once in a lifetime talent.”
“Thank you.” He voiced the answer for the both of them. She’d been too wrapped up in a huge smile to do so before him.
“So, I’m sure you’ve done a million of these. I’m only going to ask you a couple of questions. It’s a short segment. Anything off limits?” Usually, a manager or an agent would approach me prior to any interview and run down a list of details that are off limits. It’s a power move to make sure whoever they’re representing doesn’t have to face the music when asked a difficult question. If you’re smart, you’ll figure out a way to work around it or rework questions to the point of them telling on themselves.
“Nothing is barred. I’m cool with whatever you want to ask.”
“Oh yeah? So, I can ask about your girlfriends?” A light joke for what is sure to be a lighthearted dialogue between the two of us.
“I don’t have any, but you can ask. I don’t mind.” His broadly built shoulders shrugged while a smirk tugged on his lips.
“Is he telling the truth Heather?”
“I suppose so. I haven’t met anyone just yet. I’m waiting on it though. There’s going to have to be a point in time when someone comes to take over and take care of him.”
“You trying to get rid of me?” He glanced over his shoulder at his mom. I hope to muster up enough courage to ask her about her skincare routine because she has a glow that’s stunning.
“Of course not, but it’s the circle of life my child.”
As the room began to clear, I offered him the seat directly across from my own. I looked on, in observation of his body language. That’s the first marker of whether you’re going to have a smooth or difficult time. He chose to sit upright, with credence, and yet his back rested against the chair in an eased manner. Interestingly, he chose to mirror my actions by glancing over my frame to read me. The odd prickling in the nape of my neck that slowly spread all over was a sign that he’s doing a better job than I am.
“All set.”
It’s go time. This is my field and I’m the quarterback here.
“Welcome back to the Sports Haven. I’m Sarai Nazaire and we’re here with All Pro New York Giants wide receiver, Odell Beckham Jr. Odell, welcome to the show.” Much like our greeting earlier, we shook hands for the sake of the camera.
“Thank you for having me.”
“Now, you’re entering your fourth season with the Giants organization. You guys are coming off of a season where it all seemed to be gelling together towards the second half and that led to a playoff run which ended up being cut short by the Greenbay Packers. What are you most looking forward to going into this season?”
“Winning. I know it sounds cliché because that’s what everyone wants to do, but it really is what I’m looking forward to. It was disappointing to lose in the way that we did. It was a blowout but it just served as fuel for me in the off season. I went harder in everything, honestly. I took some for myself but even in the midst of that, I just worked.”
“Did that loss also cause you to have a hatred of boats?” I had to ask and thankfully, he took it in jest. The infamous photograph of a number of the Giants ballers and Trey Songz hanging out on a yacht in Miami just days before that Greenbay game instantly became a media sensation once they lost. The memes and blame game were non-stop for days. If I were them, I don’t know if I’d want to see another boat again let alone be on one.
“No, I still like boats. I spent time on a boat or two during this summer.”
“But given that you’re on this superstar level, you know that it comes with you living your life under a microscope more than most people do including many of your teammates. So how are you handling that now? For most people, it digs under their skin and it’s understandably so. I know you’ve had your moments of frustration. Unfortunately, it’s not something that’s not going to change. All good comes with bits of ugliness, right?”
“Right. One of the things I’m doing is trying to stay out of the microscope. I’ve found myself spending a lot more time at home and away from anything that draws too much attention to me. It’s been different but in a good way. It feels good to be able to comfortably strip away the guard that you have to keep up because of that microscope. Also, I’ve really taught myself not to take things so personally. I play a position in a sport and it comes with all of that, so I had to realize that it’s not so much of an attack on me and even if it is, it all really stems from that position. I can’t allow that to dictate how I live my life or have my happiness.”
“And you had that awakening during this off season?”
“Yeah. I spent a lot of time reflecting and dealing with a lot of emotions that I’ve never felt before and even some pain that I’ve never felt before. Some of it involved football and there were things that didn’t. I had to sort that out and it did a lot of good for me.” I’m always impressed when I hear athletes speak on their mental health. The world views them as figures who play a sport for a living and earns far more money than they deserve to have simply for being entertainers. The majority of them make more money than the doctors who repair them after injury, which can be quite mind boggling when you think about it. Because of that, spectators believe they’re entitled to dictate the manner in which these people live their lives, the way in which they speak, and the level that they believe each and every one of them should be performing at on the field day after day. People wave the entitlement flag at them when they’re not being puppets on a string and never once take the time out to think about the emotional strain the pressure of impressing an entire public of people can put on a person. I’ve had many conversations, off the record, with athletes who have admitted they’ve fell out of love with the sport they play and represent because of the unnecessarily harsh scrutiny and relentless pressure.
“Do you feel like there are people who want you to fail?
“That comes with the territory. There are a lot of people who do, but it’s fuel for me. It serves as motivation for me to continuing grinding and moving forward for those who do support and believe in me. They’re the most important to me. I meet so many people who tell me that I inspire them to be great. On Instagram I see and sometimes I meet kids who go to their barbers and get the dye and haircut done. I can’t let down everyone who buys a jersey to represent me. After what you said about me, I can’t let you down either.” I held my breath as a faint fluttering filled my core and my body’s response was to reposition itself in the seat. My follow up question instantly became stuck in my throat.
“How does this new found inner peace contribute to the up and coming season and to the Giants locker room? How has Odell improved?”
“I’ve become a better route runner and catcher, but I think the most important part that I needed and have become is a better teammate and listener. I’m giving more and putting more into everything. I can feel it in my conditioning, I put it to the test at training camp, and I’m assured in what I intend to bring to the field this season. I’m excited.”
“I’ve been looking into the offense. There’s Brandon Marshall and your young tight end. Sterling Shepard is looking good. I think you guys have a good season ahead of you.”
“Yeah, the defense has always been there, so it’s up to us to get the job done and I think we’re in a pretty good position. We learned from that disappointment at the top of the year.”
“I’m looking forward to it Beckham.”
“You have to come to a game then. Not as an analyst though, just as a normal citizen coming out to enjoy some Sunday night football.” My laughter infectiously sparked his own fit of giggles and the smile that remained on his face warmed my soul like a ray of sunshine. Does this happen with everyone who sits across from him? How the hell does anyone stay angry with this guy?
“That sounds like a plan. I’m about twenty minutes from the stadium.
“And you have to wear this.” I hadn’t even noticed there was a jersey hanging behind his chair. What made me roar in laughter wasn’t the jersey, but the fact that the numbers were in snakeskin. I’ve been gifted many jerseys but I’ve never seen one customized like that. It’s interesting looking in a good way. I’d wear that as a cute top for a chill outing with friends if the circumstances were different.
“I’ve seen a lot of football jerseys but with snakeskin? Never. Thank you.” I held it up for the camera to see for the sake of good TV and placed it across my lap.
“You’re welcome.”
“Odell, it’s always a pleasure to have you up here. You have to come back soon. I wish you all the best on this up and coming season.”
“Thank you, Sarai.” Yet again, we shook hands and I held up the jersey once more before we officially wrapped.
I’m usually a bit more courteous in the way I send guests off before disappearing into my dressing room, but my goodbye was brief and my heel clad feet couldn’t move fast enough to escape the odd tension in the room. I’ve never wanted him to feel like he owes it to me to be nicer than necessary because I said a couple of decent words about him. While I don’t believe that he has any ulterior motives, I do wonder if there’s this sense of sympathy for the manner in which it worked for and against me. I don’t want to be Odell Beckham Jr.’s charity case because he isn’t mine and he certainly wasn’t that day either. I did my job as an analyst; nothing more or less.
Though she insisted on meeting him, Annagjid left for a weekend at home in Philadelphia but made sure to send me a text message ogling over the way Beckham’s sweatpants hugged his thighs throughout the interview. I’m thankful she’s gone, because if given the opportunity, she would have audaciously told him what I read in that message and it would have been the reason I combusted into a pillar of dust out of sheer embarrassment. With that segment done and no Podcast episodes needing to be recorded today, I can get started on my weekend. I’m not only going to grab a bottle of red wine on my way home, but I’m leaving my favorite spirit shop with two. Once I have my take out ordered, I’ll curl up on the floor in front of my living room table a la Olivia Pope and skim through whatever the premium networks are offering OnDemand. I’m behind on Homeland. Then again, I’m way behind on House of Cards, so a lonesome Netflix and chill sounds much better.
“Come in!” My heels were idly lying next to my chair. I walking out of here in Converses. The bougie can go for the week. Street chic is where it’s at.
“Sarai?”
I’m convinced I’m suffering a karma for something that I don’t quite remember doing or the universe is trolling the shit out of me. Whichever way you put it, over the course of these last seven days, all of the silent and yet minimal requests I’ve had for God and my subconscious have not only been the opposite, but have also been a ferocious time frame of mental gymnastics.
“Beckham. What’s up?” With no hesitation, he stepped inside and closed the door behind himself. The oxygen supply is diminishing as we speak.
“About those tickets. Look.” There were two of them in his hand.
“You never said anything about tickets.” He didn’t. He only encouraged me to come out and support the team. I figured it was in jest.
“How could I invite you to a game and not have tickets for you? These are for the Philly game. We play the Cowboys during week one and the Lions during week two, but I feel like our Philly games are super competitive and fun to watch. It’s the better choice.”
“At home or in Philly? You really didn’t have to do this.” And he shouldn’t have. It’ll only worsen the claim that I baby him and deliberately overlook his transgressions because I have a soft spot for the young players. I never want to be differentiated based upon gender but it’s the way of life and I get the short end of the stick depending upon what I say and who it’s in reference to. It goes beyond people questioning my job and instead, they question my character. My credentials are online for all to see and yet I still am accused of fucking my way to the top. Gossip blogs have connected my pussy to every athlete that has stood within five feet of me and I don’t personally know any of them beyond the former ones I work alongside five days a week. My dating life is endlessly analyzed though the only thing I’m in a relationship with has batteries and sits inside of my bedside drawer. I don’t know what narrative will be painted if a camera catches me at one of this man’s games and I don’t want to know. I’m looking forward to the day when I’m no longer identified by his story. I’d like to think he’s just as sick of seeing my name synonymous with his in the headlines.
“In Philly. I can get you a ride out there if you need one.
“I’m sure that I can manage. I don’t have a car, but I’m looking into a couple of Mercedes Benz dealerships in New Jersey so that I can finally get the car that I’ve been eyeing.”
“What kind? My guy Phil Campbell manages the inventory in both Manhattan and Paramus. I can reach out to him for you. He’s a cars guy, believe me when I tell you. He’ll get you right for sure.
“Nothing too special. Just an A-Class sedan for now. My pockets aren’t as deep as yours.”
“I’m still on my rookie contract. I wouldn’t say they’re that deep.” Rookie contract or not, with his Nike deal and all of the other endorsements he has, he’s a millionaire many times over already.
“Well I’ll tell you this much, my ESPN contract certainly isn’t worth ten point four million dollars.”
“It should be.” This guy. What a paradox.
“So, this Phil guy can help out?” I don’t care about cars enough to research specs and special features. “All I want is a sunroof, seat warmers for the winter, and an amazing sound system. Everything else is whatever, honesty.”
“He knows his shit. I can send him your information. Knowing him, he’ll get back in touch with you within the next hour or so.” Help is help and my pride can shrink enough to get out of the way when it comes to something that I don’t know. I’ve had my fair share of being loud and wrong and it’s not fun being the idiot in the room once it’s all said and done.
“Okay, hold on.” On my desk, I have my ESPN cards to purposelessly give out in exchange for the management or agent cards of our guests. In my wallet, I keep a few business cards where my personal phone number and e-mail are for the sake of obeying my father’s rule about a business card being “far more professional” than stating your phone number out loud while they plug it into their phone. I don’t give much of those out either. “This is my business card. My e-mail and number is there. You can give him the information whenever. I’m not in that much of a rush.”
“I’ll send it to him in a few minutes, that way you’ll be able to go over the specifics about whatever you want.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing. So, about that Philly game. You’ll be there?”
“I’ll try to make it out.” I’m not going. I wish he had of gifted these to a super fan who would have loved to be in attendance.
“Okay then. I’m looking forward to seeing you there. I already helped with one part of your outfit; you just have to figure out the rest.”
“Oh, I’m supposed to be in Giants gear? What makes you so sure that I’m not an Eagles fan? It’s looking like they’re going to have a damn good season this year.”
“If you are, I intend to change your mind.”
“Hm.” The universe can kiss my black ass and it’s quite black by the way.
“I’ll see you soon Sarai Nazaire.” What’s his fascination with saying my first and last name? I’ve never met anyone who has done that and admittedly, it doesn’t roll off of anyone’s tongue in the manner that it does his. Maybe it’s the French connection in Louisiana that aids in him pronouncing it so well.
“Goodbye Beckham.”
Last Friday I had no desire to hear anything playing on the radio and yet the end of this week has John and I bopping to my best of the 90s Hip-Hop playlist on Apple Music. Who the hell wouldn’t start an eighty-seven-degree Friday off with Craig Mack’s “Flava In Ya Ear” remix and an Oreo Cookie Blizzard from the Dairy Queen? The next stop is for the wine and then I’m free to lounge in my living room in nothing more than an old t-shirt and the lace black thong covering my lower half. I may even turn my phone on “Do Not Disturb” until sometime tomorrow. Hell, is Monday morning a stretch?
The buzzing of my phone in my lap paused my backseat party and the foreign number along the screen riddled me into confusion.
You’re not an A-Class sedan type of woman. That’s not for you. An E-Class Coupe fits your mold; sophisticated, sleek, and breathtaking. If I had a say so, that’s what you’d leave the dealership with, but I don’t. Maybe you’ll take my advice? Have a great weekend Sarai Nazaire.
My eyes panned down to observe the minor trembling of my hand and the appetizing blizzard that was now turning into a milkshake.
Or maybe I’ll throw my phone into the Hudson River.
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BTS Drabble Scenario:
14. “Your hands are so much larger than mine”
You sat on the booth along with your friends, fiddling with your fingers as you waited for your pizza to arrive. You were supposed to be on a date with your boyfriend, this was the day you were going to meet his friends and you were more than just nervous about it. You were a very cool and casual person, but when it came to making a good impression to six attractive, talented and kind guys, you were anxious as heck and mortified.
Jimin could see how enclosed you are and he knew very well that you were the opposite of that. You two had met around four months ago, as Jimin decided to travel to New York for the summer- an odd place to go to in summer and that is one of the reasons you wanted to get to know him more. He was there alone, as all of the 7 boys took a break from all of their work and spend some time alone. He was supposed to leave after one month of being there, yet he ended staying there for two months because he had found you- he was having too much fun to lose you like that. You were dating for around two months now and it was your first time meeting his friends- all of them being guys.
It wasn’t difficult for you to be friends with guys. You even had guy friends yourself, Jimin was your friend, to begin with, and he just later on developed feelings and so did you. But knowing how well known they were, you didn’t want to disappoint them. Jimin deserved someone perfect by his side and you weren’t exactly that. Although, you were fun, quirky, had a snarky and playful humor and you liked being rebellious and wild. Nevertheless, none of those traits were showing tonight.
Jimin laughed at a joke his friend said and you smiled politely, getting up from your seat. “If you’ll excuse me. I’ll be back”
Jimin looked up at you, his bright smile turning into a worrying frown. “Everything good?”
“Yeah, don’t worry” You smiled. You made your way to the bathroom, taking in deep breaths as you looked at yourself in the mirror. You had put a lot of effort into how you looked tonight. You wanted to look as much as yourself as possible. You wore makeup, but not too much. You had a cat eye eyeliner because that was your signature, your shoulder length hair was straight and you smelled like your favorite perfume. Your clothes showcased your modern and grungy style, yet it was also feminine in a badass way.
You probably looked like you were trapped in somebody’s else’s body, whatsoever as your anxiety had eaten up all of your personality features. You shook your head and gave yourself a mini pep talk, before walking to the door. Before you stepped out, you stopped in your tracks, eavesdropping in a conversation you probably shouldn’t have. “I’m very concerned. She’s just not talking, like, at all. She seems like maybe she has put too much effort? She’s so shy yet she put on a style of someone different? Hyung, what if she’s pretending for Jimin? This is not good”
“Hoseokie, I don’t know” Namjoon sighed. “The poor girl seems nervous, let her be. Maybe we should give her more attention”
“We did! She replied with one word each time. Joon, I don’t even think she remembers our names” Hoseok replied. “She’s pretty and all- but I just don’t think she is good for him if she can’t be open to his best friends”
Namjoon sighed and you heard them walk back to your booth. You mentally cursed at yourself for making this sort of impression. Whoever you knew would tell you the complete opposite about who you are. Of course you remembered their names, you remembered all they had told you so far. You needed to fix this, you knew how much Jimin trusted his friends and you knew who you were. And you were not who you showed.
You walked out of the bathroom, stomping towards the booth in determination, confidence written all over you. You rested your palms on the table, leaning over to get everyone’s attention. You turned to Jungkook, the youngest and took in a deep breath. “You’re Jeon Jungkook. You’re the youngest of this group and you never shut up about video games and filmmaking” You began, turning to Taehyung after. “You are Taehyung, you’re the same age as me and apparently you worship your dog, whose name is Yeontan”
“Then we have Namjoon. A great ass leader, if I say so myself. You’re really someone with a deep way of thinking. Yoongi. I think you need to sleep less, from what everyone is saying, but I love your ‘I don’t give a fuck attitude’ because that’s who I am as well. Jin, your opinion of yourself is pretty valid, of being handsome as hell. I mean, look at your!” You said and finally, turned to Hoseok. “Now, I didn’t confuse your age, I saved you for last for a reason. Jung Hoseok. Brilliant dancer? In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone as good as you, besides Jimin- because nobody can top that. I do know your names. And yes, I am scared as hell. Do you think it’s easy to meet your boyfriend’s friends for so long after all he has said about them?”
“Jimin has said so many incredible things about you and when I walked inside here and saw all of those in front of me, I couldn’t function. How could I make such a good impression to such unbelievably talented and kind people? I’m far worse than you guys, I’m freaking broken and not nearly as perfect as you. Jimin deserves how good you are, meanwhile I don’t even deserve to be stared by Jimin. I don’t deserve him giving me the chance to be in his life so much as meeting his brothers. But I treat him the best I can, I treat him better than I treat anyone and I love him with all that I have. I want to show that. I assure you, I’m not some sappy crybaby bitch who is going to stay here and ramble about the reasons she loves her boyfriend. I’m here to have some fun with my boyfriend’s friends. So excuse me for being a coward and let’s have some fucking fun!” You said, out of breath.
You crossed your arms in front of your chest, waiting for an answer. Jimin’s eyes were wide, while Namjoon nodded and Yoongi held a smirk on his lips “Man, if you ever break up, I’m going to break up our friendship” Yoongi nudged Jimin’s shoulder, teasing him.
A small smile formed on your lips and you sat back down next to Jimin, sending him a smirk. “If I hurt him, I will let you physically fight me. Although you will lose because I can beat your asses any time”
“She’s kinda right. Do you guys even know how we met?” Jimin asked, bragging.
“Yes, you talk about it like twice a week” Jin rolled his eyes at Jimin.
You chuckled and Jimin intertwined his fingers with yours, his eyes sinking into yours in awe. “Your hands are so much large than mine,” You said.
“That’s probably the reason he’s dating you. Have you seen how tiny his hands are?! He’s lucky he found you” Hoseok laughed, making everyone burst into laughter.
“In my defense, these hands might be tiny, but they can do wonders!”
AU: Ah these are cute!
Masterlist
#bts#bts scenario#scenario#bts scenarios#bts au#au#bts drabble#drabble#drabble challenge#drabble game#drabble prompts#prompt list#bts requests#request#park jimin#jimin#jiminie#park jimin scenario#jimin scenario#park jimin au#jimin au#park jimin drabble#jimin drabble#park jimin request#jimin request#park jimin x reader#park jimin x yn#park jimin x you#jimin x reader#jimin x yn
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chains and necklace men use
Nonetheless baseball jewelry, in the present day it's normally the spies and celebrities who are carrying hats because they don't wish to be recognized by anyone. Moreover you'll be able to require the factory to customize distinctive fashion hats that you want. The double link provides strength and style. You do not should be a pro to dress like one. Whereas nobody will seemingly be utilizing them to make new customized jewellery, these gems are distinctive and have fascinating histories. A technique a man can look his most interesting is by sporting cufflinks. It is a novel means for males to accessorize with out the heaviness of jewellery that can get in the best way or is uncomfortable. A classic men's diamond tennis bracelet is a great way so as to add an elegant, but masculine shine to any look. From the office to the golf course to a night out on the town, this assertion piece can add a classy, fashion ahead accent. It's an extended standing tradition in many families so as to add a charm to a bracelet over time as a holiday or birthday reward.
You additionally get to see these pictures each time you placed on the jewelry. The most thrilling truth about fashion jewellery is that it all the time keeps changing. But let's remind you that even a small ring you put on comes into the category of the jewellery. In fact, perhaps a quick dialog about these New York Yankees, Oakland Raiders or even a bit little bit of Alabama Crimson in your wrists will result in a extra in depth dialog which may inevitably lead to enterprise deals. Like a Baseball Mother bangle bracelet worn by the complete workforce will encourage them to do higher, show cooperation and even embolden the workforce members to play properly. There is the play and costume jewelry. Diamond jewelry is particular in that it conveys emotions with out saying words. The pinnacle secures the diamond. Like may be a pitcher participant allowed to put on a males's marriage ceremony ring within the on the mound?
You possibly can order personalized golf balls, cookies made to appear like footballs, baseballs, or soccer balls, or any number of different sports or workforce oriented gifts. The team spirit and cooperation might be increased by designing the identical jewelry item for the group. Jewellery market veterans in China say cadmium has been utilised in domestic items there for years. Take a fast look at different types of Pet Cremation Urns and different memorials available in the market. Worker Recognition Awards - Staff take great delight in carrying lapel pins that present their achievements, and they're going to treasure employee recognition awards that they will frequently present to others. Wish to take a wild guess at what keyphrase theyre targeting? Typically a ring or necklace can have a particular, personal which means as a result of it was a reward. For the fan that enjoys the physique piercing trend a pink or blue Biobplasts Blazing Baseball Belly Ring will do the trick.
The inexpensiveness of some fashionable rhinestones has allowed them to be used in each form of software, from dog collars to baseball caps. A few of essentially the most unique enjoyable baseball products are baseball slippers for girls sold on amazon, baseball purses and totes or baseball cuff hyperlink, money clip, and tie tack for males. At probably the most primary, you won't go incorrect with knee-size or longer skirts for women and fits or costume shirts and pants for men. Second, tucking shirts in and wearing belts are ok for the holidays, but they certain aren't the cool hip look we're jewelry and accessories used in baseball going for. The place the place you're going to is n determining factor for the accessories. This implies earrings; bracelets, rings and necklaces are all no-no's. Moms and boys proceed to complain that COOL boys clothes are non-existent. These are some nice wedding ceremony ideas for sports activities lovers. Maybe you might be taken with sports activities cufflinks that exhibit your hobbies. %22sequence%22:2}]" width="337" /> This French hybrid grape produces a dry purple wine that is bold, wealthy, and full bodied. For white wine followers, attempt the LaCrosse, a semi sweet gem with aromas of melon and pear. Different sizzling picks embody a diamond bracelet or perhaps a diamond and sapphire heart locket. One of the most easy, however traditional, items of jewellery is a high quality bracelet. There may be the inexpensive option of style jewellery. Wholesale style jewellery is the idea assigned to organizations that manufacture type jewellery. A common misconception is that vogue jewellery is just too faux trying. Fashion jewellery is available in all differing types. A photo of just a little girl at her first dance recital or a little boy in his first baseball game placed on photo jewelry might make wonderful keepsake reward. The usual of Gold present great pliability along with ductility as properly as the man views and his superior ability to generate fantastic along with sophisticated patterns offers full Gold Jewelry the infatuation associated with loveliness. From a 3-stone ring that sparkles with the previous, current and future, or a classic eternity ring, diamonds are a hands-down sentimental favourite. There are several seems that needs to be pulled together in 2006. If you are going for a look, go all the best way and baseball jewelry.
For the sports fan in you, there is a large choice of sports activities cufflinks available together with a wide number of sports team cufflinks. Folks do not realize that in the event that they can't afford the real deal, there are extra options. Mouth - choose a cute pair of lips, smile, giggle, frown or even a tongue sticking out plus extra. Gifts for Collectors Practically any object might be collected: baseball playing cards, spoons, vintage brooches, and even vintage blenders. The Boston Red Sox might be the most famous baseball team to associate with Phiten titanium necklaces. Do you love your team nearly as a lot as the person you intend to marry? If you're a baseball fan or even a football fan, you can rotate your staff all through the seasons so you are always on high of the game. Boys' clothes are getting cooler and cooler all of the time. That is great for people who find themselves up in age who have issues reminiscent of osteoporosis, arthritis, or something that has triggered their legs to change into weakened. Nonetheless, lots of people say it has really helped them; they even mentioned they have been also skeptical to start with.
Or is the deck stacked against her and she'll lose a lot of money? It is obvious that much less money is required for a flea market than for a retail retailer, however what's not so apparent? In other words, focus on how much money you've already made on that order that got here in, rather than specializing in the objects which might be left over and have not offered. Besides giving the video games their structure, rules are meant to give all contributors a (supposedly) even taking part in discipline. These seats embody a button that allows the seated individual to get up with ease, every time they're prepared. Are you able to simply get to numerous spots to buy? Get a second opinion. Males also hit a home run with the woman in their lives by marking a major (or not so significant) anniversary with the diamond anniversary ring. I think this may very well be an incredible reward for a special occasion similar to graduation or marriage ceremony or an anniversary.
I made a necklace with a favourite photograph of a sunset right here. Add earrings and a necklace to finish your look. When using the search terms, you must also add your city or city title to the search in an effort to uncover sources near you. Sure, yow will discover replica Series bands along together utilizing organized stones and in addition diamonds, nonetheless these could be the exception, not the particular rule. Diamonds dazzle like nothing else can. Dazzle her with a diamond. These collars also include some form of identification on them, very similar to we use on our canine tags at this time. Such an exquisite paradise that is like a slice of Heaven on Earth. Even in case you don’t have experience in any respect, it'll simply take a couple weeks of messing round with packages as Photoshop and Illustrator. Nonetheless, in today’s world the place mummification is just not doable, pet homeowners still have the choice to honor their furry pals with the assistance of pet memorials.
After i lived at house, I all the time tried to help make adjustments for the better, quite than simply letting unhealthy politics determine for me. These actually exhibit the pursuits of any sharp dressed man all whereas catering to his interior sports lover. When you ask a man what he really wants, he is likely to say a brand new automobile, some sports gear or model new instruments. Missing baseball jewelry, which often shelving up wards repeated flyer a great distance in arms and, joints, fingers, legs and, in addition to earlobes. Many rabid baseball fanatics put on further the everyday investing credit score charge taking part in greeting handmade homemade enterprise notes, signed objects, banners and ads, paint footplate, as well as bubblehead dolls. The first Pizza Hut opened in 1958, which is about 500 years closer. It at all times has a recent simply cleaned regarded that seems to fade shortly with yellow gold. Judy is considering selling earrings on the local swapmeet with baseball jewelry.
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sport necklaces
Nevertheless baseball jewelry, immediately it's normally the spies and celebrities who're carrying hats as a result of they don't wish to be recognized by anyone. Moreover you may require the factory to customize unique style hats that you like. The double hyperlink adds energy and elegance. You don't need to be a pro to dress like one. Whereas no one will seemingly be utilizing them to make new custom jewelry, these gems are distinctive and have fascinating histories. A technique a man can look his most interesting is by wearing cufflinks. It is a novel method for men to accessorize with out the heaviness of jewelry that may get in the way or is uncomfortable. A basic males's diamond tennis bracelet is a good way so as to add an elegant, however masculine shine to any look. From the workplace to the golf course to a night time out on the town, this statement piece can add a classy, vogue forward accent. It's an extended standing tradition in many households so as to add a charm to a bracelet over time as a holiday or birthday reward.
You also get to see those photographs every time you put on the jewelry. Essentially the most thrilling truth about trend jewelry is that it always retains changing. However let's remind you that even a small ring you put on comes into the class of the jewelry. In actual fact, maybe a quick dialog about those New York Yankees, Oakland Raiders or even slightly bit of Alabama Crimson in your wrists will lead to a extra in depth conversation which could inevitably lead to business offers. Like a Baseball Mother bangle bracelet worn by the complete workforce will encourage them to do higher, show cooperation and even embolden the staff members to play nicely. There may be the play and costume jewellery. Diamond jewellery is special in that it conveys feelings without saying words. The pinnacle secures the diamond. Like may be a pitcher player allowed to put on a men's marriage ceremony ring in the on the mound?
You can order customized golf balls, cookies made to seem like footballs, baseballs, or soccer balls, or any variety of other sports activities or staff oriented gifts. The group spirit and cooperation will be increased by designing the same jewelry item for the team. Jewellery market veterans in China say cadmium has been utilised in home gadgets there for years. Take a fast take a look at different types of Pet Cremation Urns and other memorials available in the market. Worker Recognition Awards - Staff take nice pride in wearing lapel pins that show their achievements, and they're going to treasure employee recognition awards that they can continuously show to others. Wish to take a wild guess at what keyphrase theyre focusing on? Sometimes a ring or necklace can have a special, personal meaning as a result of it was a present. For the fan that enjoys the physique piercing trend a pink or blue Biobplasts Blazing Baseball Stomach Ring will do the trick.
The inexpensiveness of some modern rhinestones has allowed them to be used in every kind of utility, from dog collars to baseball caps. A few of probably the most distinctive fun baseball products are baseball slippers for women bought on amazon, baseball purses and totes or baseball cuff hyperlink, money clip, and tie tack for men. At probably the most fundamental, you will not go wrong with knee-length or longer skirts for girls and suits or costume shirts and pants for males. Second, tucking shirts in and carrying belts are okay for the holidays, however they certain aren't the cool hip look we're going for. The place where you'll is n figuring out factor for the accessories. This means earrings; bracelets, rings and necklaces are all no-no's. Mothers and boys continue to complain that COOL boys clothes are non-existent. These are some nice wedding ceremony concepts for sports activities lovers. Perhaps you are considering sports activities cufflinks that show off your hobbies.
This French hybrid grape produces a dry pink wine that's bold, wealthy, and full bodied. For white wine followers, attempt the LaCrosse, a semi candy gem with aromas of melon and pear. Other sizzling picks include a diamond bracelet or maybe a diamond and sapphire coronary heart locket. One of the vital simple, however classic, gadgets of jewellery is a top quality bracelet. There may be the cheaper possibility of style jewellery. Wholesale trend jewelry is the idea assigned to organizations that manufacture model jewellery. A standard false impression is that style jewellery is simply too fake trying. Style jewellery is available in all differing types. A photograph of just a little woman at her first dance recital or a little bit boy in his first baseball game put on picture jewelry may make fantastic keepsake reward. The standard of Gold present great pliability together with ductility as properly because the man views and his superior talent to generate fantastic along with difficult patterns presents full Gold Jewellery the infatuation associated with loveliness. From a 3-stone ring that sparkles with the past, current and future, or a traditional eternity ring, diamonds are a hands-down sentimental favourite. There are a number of seems that must be pulled collectively in 2006. If you're going for a glance, go all the way in which and baseball jewelry.
For the sports fan in you, there is a wide selection of sports cufflinks accessible together with a large variety of sports crew cufflinks. People don't notice that in the event that they can't afford the real deal, there are extra options. Mouth - choose a cute pair of lips, smile, giggle, frown or even a tongue sticking out plus extra. Gifts for Collectors Nearly any object might be collected: baseball playing cards, spoons, vintage brooches, or baseball fashion blog even vintage blenders. The Boston Pink Sox is probably the most famous baseball group to associate with Phiten titanium necklaces. Do you love your group nearly as much because the person you intend to marry? If you are a baseball fan or even a football fan, you may rotate your group throughout the seasons so you might be always on high of the sport. Boys' clothes are getting cooler and cooler all of the time. This is great for people who find themselves up in age who have issues reminiscent of osteoporosis, arthritis, or something that has precipitated their legs to become weakened. Nevertheless, lots of people say it has really helped them; they even talked about they had been also skeptical to begin with.
Or is the deck stacked against her and she'll lose a lot of money? It's obvious that less cash is required for a flea market than for a retail retailer, but what's not so apparent? In other phrases, focus on how much cash you have got already made on that order that got here in, fairly than focusing on the objects which might be left over and haven't bought. Moreover giving the video games their structure, guidelines are meant to provide all members a (supposedly) even playing field. These seats embrace a button that enables the seated individual to get up with ease, every time they are prepared. Can you simply get to a lot of spots to buy? Get a second opinion. Men also hit a house run with the lady of their lives by marking a big (or not so vital) anniversary with the diamond anniversary ring. I think this could possibly be an ideal present for a particular occasion equivalent to graduation or wedding or an anniversary.
I made a necklace with a favorite photograph of a sunset right here. Add earrings and a necklace to finish your look. When using the search terms, you must also add your metropolis or city name to the search with a view to uncover sources near you. Sure, you could find replica Collection bands alongside collectively utilizing arranged stones and likewise diamonds, nevertheless these could be the exception, not the actual rule. Diamonds dazzle like nothing else can. Dazzle her with a diamond. These collars also include some type of identification on them, very similar to we use on our dog tags immediately. Such a phenomenal paradise that is like a slice of Heaven on Earth. Even should you don’t have expertise at all, it's going to just take a couple weeks of messing round with programs as Photoshop and Illustrator. Nonetheless, in today’s world the place mummification is not potential, pet homeowners still have the option to honor their furry pals with the help of pet memorials.
When i lived at home, I always tried to help make adjustments for the higher, slightly than simply letting dangerous politics determine for me. These really exhibit the interests of any sharp dressed man all while catering to his internal sports activities lover. For those who ask a man what he actually needs, he's likely to say a brand new automotive, some sports gear or model new instruments. Missing baseball jewelry, which usually shelving up wards repeated flyer a long way in arms and, joints, fingers, legs and, as well as earlobes. Many rabid baseball fans put on extra the standard investing credit score charge enjoying greeting handmade homemade business notes, signed gadgets, banners and ads, paint footplate, as well as bubblehead dolls. The first Pizza Hut opened in 1958, which is about 500 years closer. It all the time has a recent just cleaned regarded that appears to fade quickly with yellow gold. Judy is considering selling earrings on the local swapmeet with baseball jewelry.
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Callie Reviews: TMNT 2012 Season One (Part One)
Ever since 1984, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise has gone form a cult-status indie comic to a massive mass market. There have been various comics, movies, video games, merchandise, and of course cartoons. And it’s easy to see why. TMNT’s concept, a group of mutated teen turtles fighting evil in New York, is both incredibly bizarre and incredibly appealing to a mass audience. You have action, science fiction, martial arts, and of course plenty of mutant ideas to make toys out of. The fact that this Fall will be releasing the fourth animated TMNT series and that a new movie series is in production shows that even over 30 years later, this is a franchise that is far from losing it’s power.
As a kid, I of course knew that Turtles as a thing and I even watch parts of 2k3. But I was never really a fan until the day I stumbled upon the 2012 show. I fell in love with it and, since it started when I was just starting this blog, it was a huge focus for me for several years. I have since moved on and while I’m going to check out the 2018 show, I don’t think I’m going to be as crazy as I was with this show (but never say never). Back in 2012, I was someone who... lets say ignored the flaws and defended the show far too passive aggressively to the point that looking at my older stuff makes me want to blow up by blog.
Nowadays, while some of my opinions hold true (like the ‘Donnie is a stalker’ accusations are still bullshit), I am more willing to admit the shows problems, especially now that I can take the show in fully. I also like to believe that I’ve become a better reviewer since I was 19 years old, plus it had been far too long since I went back over the show form the very beginning. So does the show still hold up? Will 25 year old Callie feel differently than 19 year old Callie did? Well we’re about to find out. This is the TMNT 2012 Season One Review!
The Premiere (Episodes 1-2)
Our story begins with a training sequence that introduces us to the titular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. Along with some minor character establishment, like Mikey being the funny one and Raph the violent one, the biggest thing here is one of the shows strengths: the choreography. It’s best exhibited in Leo and Raph’s duel. The movements are very fluid and well-paced. It’s fast, but not too fast, it’s enough to move things along but still let you take in all the impacts. It’s very well done. Raph ends up winning and we are introduce to the boys mentor and father, Master Splinter. Aka, the best written character int he show, but we’ll get to that later.
After the opening theme, we cut to the boys 15th Mutation Day where we get our backstory. Borrowing from the 80′s show origin, Splinter was once a young man named Hamato Yoshi. He had just bought four pet turtles when he stumbled across a shady dealing. Being a ninja master, he was able to fight back, but he ended up getting splattered with a strange green substance. This turned him into a rat, as one brushed his ankle while the baby Turtles become anthropomorphic. Yoshi, taking on the name Splinter, fled to the sewers and raised the four turtles as his own as well as taught them ninjutsu. It’s a simple, but still solid telling of the origin that pays tribute to previous origins, leaves some mystery about the substance and who was dealing it, and is told with use of comic-style panels reminiscent of the original comics.
The Turtles, having lived in the sewers since their mutation, are hoping to convince Splinter to let them finally go to the surface. After some begging, Splinter reluctantly agrees. We then cut to Leo watching a Star Trek: The Animated Series parody where we learn of his desire to become a great hero and leader. This is interesting for several reasons. One, it establishes that Leo isn’t the leader of the group yet, a departure form normal as he’s normally put into that role automatically. And second, ti does a great job at character establishment. In previous versions, Leo is often seen as the boring, overly leader type. Not a bad character mind you, but he lacks the quirkiness that the tough Raph, genius Donnie, and wild child Mikey present. Here? Leo is shown to be an idealistic, naive, but good-intention kid who aspires to be a great hero like he sees on TV as well as give shim some dorky characteristics, like quoting cheesy one-liners to sound more heroic. It helps make him more relateable, funny, and sets up a character arc for when he does inevitably become the leader. Very well done.
The boys finally go to the surface, and are in awe of what they see. They even discover their trademark favorite food, pizza. Given that they only ever ate worms and algae until this point, it makes their love of it all the more understandable. But not all goes well as they soon witness a group of business men kidnapping a red-haired teenager and her father. They attempt to help, but end up only beating each other up and the bad guys get away with their captives. Mikey ends up beating up one and discovers... a brain with tentacles... yipe... he tries to tell the other three, but they don’t believe him. A common trend in the show.
Upon returning home, the boys try to blame each other for the failure before Splinter accepts it for not giving them proper training as a team. While he considers keeping them down below for another year, Donnie convinces him to let them go help the girl due to seeing how terrified she was and how they failed to help her... and because of the crush he developed in a record five seconds. Splinter agrees, but first assigns Leo as the official leader, much to the ire of Raph. They’re eventually able to find the kidnappers vehicle and wreck it, capturing the driver named Snake and they discover a vat of a glowing green substance. A vat that they recognize as the same one that caused their original mutation.
Snake, after Raph threatens to mutate him, leads the boys to the facility where the captives are... and uses the boys bickering as a chance to escape. Leo uses this to trick the crook into thinking that they’re going to plow his van into the place as he conducts a plan to sneak in. All while Roah is an asshole who refuses to listen and outright undermines Leo’s orders. Yeah, Raph is a real jerk during this season. FYI. When Leo shows hesitance about his plan, Splinter tells him of his final confrontation against his rival Oroku Saki, aka The Shredder. It ended in his wife being killed, his house burning down, and his infant daughter nowhere to be found. Well, that won’t be important in any way, shape, or form later! The point being that he lost everything, but gained the boys, easing Leo’s worries about how much is riding on the plan.
So yeah the boys crash the van, Snake gets mutated, the boys break in, fight some guards, and Mikey proves that he isn’t crazy about the aliens.. and then trips an alarm. Smooth Mikey, smooth. They find the captives, that being this version of April O’Neil and her scientist father. Now in most versions, April is an adult woman. Here? She is aged down and is around sixteen years old. We’ll talk more about that later. The bad guys, aka The Kraang, take the captives away and as the boys give chase,t hey are confronted by the mutant Snake... who is a weed monster. Hey, that’s breaking supervillain rules writers! If you have an evil sounding name, that’s what you turn into! Donnie is sent to rescue the O’Neil’s as the other three face Snakeweed... Mikey’s idea, not mine.
The boys eventually defeat Snake via Leo’s direction and mass electrocution while Donnie is able to rescue April, but her father is taken away. April plans to find him however, no matter what it takes with the boys promising to help in whatever way they can. Once home, Leo finds out the complex reasoning for why he was named the leader over everyone else... because he asked. Ming-boggling, right? Well there is actually another reason, but we’ll talk about this in S4. The boys also made the news as their shruriken got found, but come on, what could one tiny news story do that would be bad? Well... being seen by your master’s worst enemy and re-igniting his lust for vengeance might count! Woopsie!
Overall, a solid two parter. It establishes the characters well, has fun fight scenes, the animation is a little dated now but still pretty good, the dialogue is funny, and it does a good job setting up future plotlines while fulfilling it’s own plot. It started 2k12 off on the right foot and was still enjoyable over five years since it’s initial premiere.
The Beginning (Episodes 3-8)
The episodes following the premiere create a steady flow of creating the status quo. You have episodes like Turtle Temper, Metalhead, and Monkey Brains (kinda) that have the boys dealing with the Kraang’s Plan of the Week as they continue their mutagen experiments. It helps with character development and some minor plot progression, such as Raph learning how dangerous his anger can be and Donnie learning to rely on his instincts rather than on his mind 100% of the time. Some are going to want me to comment on the shipping stuff, But I’m gonna save that for later. The biggest issue with these episodes, aside from Monkey Brains, is the Kraang. They are not interesting as villains at all. As great a VA as Nolan North is, the Kraang’s way of talking just gets... annoying. It doesn't help that the threat ultimately becomes either an accidental mutant or Donnie’s robot... well okay a Kraang possessed the later, but it shows that those are more interesting villains than the Kraang themselves and they exist mroe to just have an excuse for a plot. It’s really irking after awhile.
As far as plot goes, it’s mostly your usual ‘Monster of the Week’ stuff. But it has some small things that have a larger impact later. For one, in Monkey Brains, April begins to tap into what looks like some strong emphatic abilities. More on this next season. But due to this, Splinter decides to take April on as a student and train her to be a kunoichi (a female ninja). This will be the largest part of her character for the remainder of the series. April herself... is not utilized as well as she could have been in these early episodes. She’s described as the boys guide to the outside world, and she does serve that in some respects. For example, introducing Mikey to social media in New Friend, Old Enemy to let him make friends without exposing his mutant identity. And in Never Say Xever she takes them to a blind man’s shop so that they can actually experience life topside for once. The issue is we never see April establish bonds with the boys or Splinter after her introduction. In New Friend, Old Enemy she just acts like she’s been friends with the guys for awhile and after showing Mikey the net, doesn’t appear or is even mentioned in the episode again. She disappears after her importance in Metalhead as well, but she is given mroe to work with there at least. I glossed over this when I was watching the show and April does get mroe time with the guys, her relationship with Splinter being one of my favorites. Still, they didn’t do a lot with having April become part of the group or really act on her role as their ‘guide’ and I feel they just wanted to ignore it to get to the other stuff. Which is just a bummer.
So you’re probably wondering about Shredder stuff, right? Well thankfully the Foot Episodes are also the most plot relevant episodes. It starts with New Friend, Old Enemy where Shredder arrives in New York and assigns one of his lieutenants, a famous martial artist named Chris Bradford, to find out about Splinter. The Foot end up encountering the Turtles, with Bradford later using this to manipulate Mikey after accidentally becoming online friends with him. He captures him and use shim as bait to lure out the other three and then follow them to where Splinter is hiding. It fails with the boys using their knowledge of the sewers to literally wash Bradford and his partner, Xever, away. Along with the dangers of meeting people you don’t really know on social media, the episode presents a very unique lesson. In a fight for your life, screw fairness, You fight by any means necessary to stay alive, including fighting dirty. Most shows emphasize on being fair, but this one actually acknowledges that if your life is on the line, you do what it takes to get out alive. It’s a unique message for a kids show and one that I really appreciate.
Next is Never Say Xever where Xever gets to lead the charge. After the boys track down the two and get beat up, Xever receives inlet from the Purple Dragons, who int his version are pretty much a trio of teen thugs. The Turtles fought them off earlier at the shop April took them to, with Leo sparing the leader as an act of mercy. Something that Raph takes umbridge with... as he does with most anything that Leo does in the first half of the series. It’s no surprise that Leo and Raph butt heads, as they do in most series, and it follows their respective arcs. Leo having to deal with being leader as well as realizing that it’s much more pressuring and unforgiving than he thought, while Raph act son his jealousy that Leo got the position even though he’s the better fighter and therefore questioning Leo’s orders or outright just being an asshole for no good reason. But after the shop owner is kidnapped to lure the Turtles out, Leo’s act of mercy ends up saving them as the lead Dragon repays the favor by throwing him back his discarded sword. Which Leo uses to break a water tower to wash the bad guys away again. Angered, The Shredder decides to handle the Turtles himself.
The episodes do a good job in establishing a solid status quo. Bad guy does a thing, one character has their B-Plot to deal with, there’s a clash, the plots intertwine, bad guy gets defeated, and the lesson of the day is learned. A simple routine, but it works here. Plus we get plenty of character establishment and moments which makes you care about them. For example even though Raph is a massive jerk, the end of New Friend, Old Enemy has his comfort Mikey after the deceit and have him see that he’s a good kid who simply got duped as anyone else would. With this being after Raph mocked him wanting to make friends throughout the episode, it helped show that he does have a caring side. Leo frequently has issues with being a leader, such as dealing with Raph and moments like in ITHNiBS where the guys outright refuse to listen to him when he tries to remind them that they’re grounded. Even Splinter has a lot of moments, being a stern but fair parental figure and wise mentor, but is also snarky as Hell. We also see hints to how much the past has affected him, like after April agrees to undergo kunoichi training and leaves the dojo, there’s just a brief moment where he looks down with a forlorn expression. As though wishing that he was telling this to his own MIA daughter. It’s so subtle, but it speaks volumes about his emotional state.
The characters are ultimately what makes these episodes works and what I would say is the strongest part of the series. You are likely going to relate to or like someone from this show and their progression. But now that we have a fully formed status quo, it’s time to shake it up a little bit and have the Turtles experience their first hard dose of reality.
The Escalation (Epsidoes 9-13)
Episode 9 begins as a typical ‘Mutant of the Week’ plot with the guys trying to catch a pigeon mutant that was after April. But when they do, they discover that he was simply trying to deliver a message... from her father. The message warns her to get out of the city due to a mutagen bomb, but she refuses to leave without him. As such,t he Turtles... somehow... find where Mr. O’Neil is and try to save him. While they get him out of the cell and get the location of the bomb, Mr. O’Neil sacrifices himself when the Kraang outnumber them so that the boys can protect April. All while poor April can only watch, helpless to do anything. Ouch...
The Turtles can only go to where the bomb is to disarm it, but things get further complicated when Bradford and Xever attack, wanting payback from before. Fortunately Donnie disarms the bomb and the four corner the two, but Bradford refuse sot go down quietly and stabs the bomb, but all it does is mutate himself and Xever. But ti also washes them away.... again. I should also point out that this point,t he Turtles have gotten incredibly over-confident since they’ve beaten every bad guy so far, feeling unstoppable. So then... Shredder arrives. Yep. And he kicks their shells HARD. Liek he holds no punches, he easily over-powers all four of them and almost stabs Leo int he head. The only reason that they escape is Shredder getting distracted by his now mutated lieutenants. But the boys retreat, badly beaten up and completely demoralized.
The next episode focuses on the fallout. The four are mostly feeling better, but their fears are being escalated by, of all people, Splinter. This is due to the boys nearly getting killed by his long-time rival re-igniting his own trauma and having nightmares over losing them, causing him to again keep them in the sewers and be far more harsh with his training. The only one doing moderately well is April, who gets intel about the Foot planning to destroy the sewers. The Turtles try to stop it, but get pounded by Bradford, who is now a giant dog mutant named Dogpound. This forces April to get the inlet herself, but she gets caught an captured by the Foot. This further brings Leo down, but to his surprise Raph actually encourages him to pull himself together and lead the team. The Turtles manage to both save April and stop the Foot from destroying the sewers with Splinter apologizing for allowing his fears to affect both himself and his sons. Overall, a solid pair of episodes that bring the boys down a bit, finally has all the plots meet somewhere, and deliver a strong message about not letting fear control you or the others around you.
After a filler episode where the only importance is Shredder forcibly recruiting Stockman to his forces, we get some more Kraang stuff with Episode 12. Where we actually show them being dangerous. Shocker, right?! It also introduces us to long-time supporting character within the franchise Leatherhead. Here he is an alligator mutant who the Kraang experimented on and it causes him to have violent fits of rage if he so much as hears the word ‘Kraang’. The Turtles end up saving him when the Kraang try to re-capture him, but find his angry bursts, well... dangerous. But Mikey is able to befriend him and it becomes more clear that LH is actually a rather intelligent, good-hearted mutant who has been put through Hell. He gets run off by Splinter though when one of his trauma-induced bursts causes him to attack the boys, forcing the rat master to intervene. Mikey, and by proxy the other three, give chase to an old subway car where LH reveals how the Kraang took him to their home, Dimension X, and experimented on him. He escaped and also took their Power Cell, cutting them off form Dimension X, in hopes of saving humanity from them. The Kraang want it back and act like a zombie swarm as they break through the car. LH fights them off, leaving the Power Cell in the Turtles care.
While Episode 11 sucks (to put it simply Leo and Raph are overbearing assholes while Donnie and Mikey are just made to be as weak as possible), the other three do a good job at making the villains more solid threats. Shredder was built up as intimidating and powerful, and boy did he deliver. The Turtles face their first major loss and have to deal with the fallout, Leo especially dealing with his first real failure as a leader. Even the Kraang come off as a scarier hivemind and we get mroe stuff on them, like Dimension X and their plans to mutate the Earth. Add that with a strong supporting character like Leatherhead, who is understandably traumatized but is an intelligent being who is trying to prevent others form suffering like him. and it helps make some strong episodes.
The first half of the season concludes with the 13th episodes... that aired as the 14th for some reason. But I’m going in order of my DVD’s and this was after Episode 12, so it’s what I’m going with. It both concludes a lot and opens up a lot for the future. The episode I am talking about is, of course New Girl in Town.
TBC in Part Two....
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