#have been thinking about how bad my language is recently but god swearing is so fun | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fangirlstorycreator · 7 months ago

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pretty pretty pretty please can you do a story about blitzo??!! I've just seen that you wrote for hazbin hotel and helluva boss and I love those shows! blitz is my favourite character! Let's imagine you work with him moxie and millie, but there is a spark between you both! And maybe he saves you from striker? I'm buzzing to see what you write!!! xxxxx

Blitzo! Absolutely anon! I'm so excited to write my first Helluva Boss story, I hope you enjoy 🤗💚

Contains: Swearing/Sexual content/dirty talk/sexual intercourse/kidnap/threatening language (NOT FOR MINORS!)

You had just taken another call for a job, this business was really blowing up recently, who would have thought k#lling humans in the living world was such a good career? You were the only one in the office at that moment, as Blitz, Millie, Moxie and Luna had been invited to an event in the Wrath ring, that wasn't really your kind of thing to do. You had just finished writing down the last few details of this new job, when the door bursts open and hits the wall with a loud bang.

"Satan's d#ck hole! Damn it! Why is it that every time we go anywhere with that feathery f#ck, someone wants to k#ll him!" "Well, he is royalty sir" "So what Moxie? He ain't so royal when I'm d#ckin his-" "Ugghh! Blitz!" "Ooh! Sorry Loony" Luna was always wound up by something Blitz would say, I think it was just part of their father and daughter relationship, even though Luna would never admit that. "Hey sh#t tits! Anyone call in for more work while we were gone?" "Just one, someone who had a an abusive ex boyfriend, she's down in hell because she tried to kill him apparently. But, because he's still alive up there..." "She needs us! F#ck yeh! Let me read the details about this one. Moxie! When your done humping your wife's leg, go and refill the guns. We're gunna need them for this next c#ck sucker" Moxie just huffed as he and Millie went to sort out the guns, Luna was sat by the meeting table, flicking through her phone with her earphones in, and Blitz was still reading the info you wrote.

"So Blitz, you were talking about Stolas when you came back, what happened?" "Oh, that god damn royal #sshole invited us to the Wrath ring for some kind of festival. It actually wasn't that bad, I even joined in with some of the games they had, they were f#cking awesome!" "So what went wrong?" "Oh, well it turns out there was this guy down there, who I was competing against, who was trying to k#ll Stolas" "But he's royalty right? You can't k#ll royalty without-" "An angelic weapon? Yeh, turns out the f#cker has one" "Sh#t! Well, what happened then?" "He hid it from us, until Moxie found the gun. He attacked Moxie and Millie, then I came and pretty much saved the day!" "Saved the day?" "Well....yeh he got away, but! I was the one that distracted him so Moxie could get a clear shot" "Oh really? And how exactly did you do that?" "He was totally flirting with me, trying to make me join him. I just played along" "Hmmm..." "What?" "Oh come on Blitz, your telling me you didn't like it? Not even a little? Your always the dominant one when it comes to Stolas, you secretly liked him being the one in charge for a moment didn't you?" "Hey! I played along with him so Moxie could get the gun!" "Didn't answer my question though...." "Ok...fine, just for a minute. But that's all! I'm always the one who f#cks other people, not the other way around!" "Sounds like a part of you was willing to give it a try"

Blitz raises an eyebrow to you, quickly looks around to make sure Luna isn't paying attention and that Moxie and Millie aren't there. Leaning slightly on the desk, he whispers to you. "You think so huh? Well maybe I'd like to give it a try sometime...." "Blitz....are you trying to flirt with me?" "What if I am, gorgeous? You never know, it could be fun....you wanna ride on this d#ck?" Pretenting to play along with him, you reach up and gently pull him in a little closer by his collar, and lean in to whisper into his ear. His neck slightly shivers as he can feel your breath, he's loving it. "Maybe I would, Blitz........if you actualy had something decent to ride on" "What?!" He shouts as he backs away, leaving you giggling. "What the f#ck are you trying to say? I haven't got a big d#ck?! I could rock you world!" "I doubt it, I think your all talk Blitz" "Oh yeh! If Luna wasn't hear I'd bend you over this desk and f#ck you till your screams filled the god damn office" "Yeh....or my moans of boredom" "Oooh you cheeky minx-" "Hey sir! We've refilled the guns" "Huh? Oh! Right, thanks Moxie, just put them in the van would yeh?" Moxie and Millie head out to the van with Luna, and Blitz just smirks. "I know we play this flirty game a lot Y/N, but has it ever occurred to you that I might actually wanna f#ck you?" "It has, however, you know me Blitz. If you want this...you have to earn it" "Well...challenge excepted! Alright, I've gotta go, we'll go and k#ll this abusive c#ck sucker and be right back"

"No problem. Hey Blitz?" "What?" "You didn't really finish your story about the attempted assassination on Stolas" "Oh yeh! Stolas is fine, we still use the book and we assumed that guy just ran away because of how much we tried to f#ck him up" "He may still be out there, you never know. Does he live in the Wrath ring?" "I don't know, he just disappeared" "Sounds like an #sshole, what was his name anyway?" "Striker" "Striker? What was he? A cowboy?" "How the f#ck did you guess that?" "It sounds like a stupid name to give yourself if your a cowboy" "I can't say I disagree. Anyway! See you later sh#t tits!" You knew he never meant it, but that was just a stupid nickname that had stuck for you now. You just found it funny, just like him. Yes you guys did playfully flirt a lot of the time, but there were times, you could see in his eyes, he was actually turned on. Who knows what could happen between you? But that wasn't on your mind right now, because yet another call has come in. That night when they came back and finished that job, Moxie and Millie had packed their things and headed home, and you were just getting your stuff in your moterbike as Blitz pulled up beside you with Luna in the van too. "Hey sh#t tits! Good job today. Are you hungry? Me and Loony are gunna go get some burgers, wanna come?" "I'm fine thanks Blitz, I'm quite tired so I'll just have something when I get home"

"Alright, we'll see you tomorow then. You ready for some burgers Loony?!" "Uugghh, they're just burgers, no need to get so excited about it" "But there MEGA burgers! There f#cking awesome!" "Whatever" "See you Y/N!" And just like that, he sped off down the road to the burger joint in town. You could see that Blitz always tried his best with Luna, he really does care about her. Once you were ready, you got on your bike and drove towards home, but you did stop at a local bar first. You placed an order for their club sandwich and fries to go, you loved that meal, it was the best thing they did. As you were waiting by the bar, you hear the sound of jingling with footsteps coming towards you, that was strange. When you turned to look behind you, a strange guy had walked up to you and stood beside you by the bar. He had a large brown hat, yellow eyes, a white jacket with little tassels, knee high boots and a red handkerchief wrapped around his neck. Not to mention the creepy smile and the pencil thin moustache, just one look and it made you feel uneasy, whoever this was, you didn't like him straight away.

"Hey there little darlin.....what's your name?" "Not interested" He had a thick accent, like a cowboys western voice. "Hey now, there's no need to get like that. How about I buy you a drink?" "No" "Are you sure?" "No is a full sentence #sshole!" "Woh woh there, I was only tryin to be polite. Why are you gettin all defensive" "Because when a woman says no, that's all she has to say. Now get away from me you creep" He just huffs, running his thumb over his bottom lips as he watches you. "I like a woman with a little bite"

"This is your final warning d#ck head, f#ck off!" "Fine....but let me leave you with this" He slides a card to your fingers, with his number on it. "Call me if you change your mind....and by the way, what name was given to a beauty such as yourself?" "F#ck off" "Well....the names Striker....see you later little darlin..." Striker? Oh sh#t! THE striker? He walks away as you just figure that out, you now know who he was, what he looks like, and that he didn't just disappear like Blitz had said! You needed to tell Blitz! The next morning, you made your way to work and see Moxie, Millie and Luna all doing their own thing. "Millie?" "Yeh?" "Have you seen Blitz?" "Yeh, he's in his office" "Thanks" You walk to the far end of the hall and knock on the door "Blitz?" "Y/N! Is it just you?" "Uh yeh, why?" "Just wondering! Come in!" As you open the door, you see Blitz's desk infront of you, but he wasn't sat behind it. "Blitz? Where-" All of a sudden, you feel hands grip your waistline, spin you around and pin you against the wall. It's Blitz! And he has a deep s#xual hunger in his eyes. "Hey there..." "Blitz, this really isn't the time, I need to-" Placing his finger to your lips, he shooshs you and whispers. "Oh yeh? Well I think it's the perfect time for me to show you exactly what I'd like to do to you..." He says in his most seductive tone. "I've imagined pinning you up against this office wall, pounding your brains out as I-" "Blitz! While this is a lovely suprise, I really need to talk to you!" "Huh? About what?" "Striker!" "Striker? What about him?" "I've seen him! Last night!" "What?! Well why the f#ck didn't you lead with that?"

"Well maybe if I was allowed to actualy say anything as you were trying to f#ck me up against a wall!" "I thought you wanted this?!" "Not right now! I need to talk to you about Striker!" "Shit, Striker. Ok, what happened?" You sit him down and explain what happened last night, and the card with his number on it. "That mother f#cker! He hit on you!" "Your honestly focused on that part Blitz?!" "Well duh! What else should I be focused on?" "Oooh I don't know? Maybe the fact that Striker is still out there, and he could try and hunt down Stolas again!" "Oh sh#t! I didn't think of that. Alright, let's go and tell everyone else" You and him called everyone into the office where you explained what happened last night, and it looked like Moxie had seen a ghost. "Mox? Are you ok?" "That bastard tried to k#ll me and Millie! The thought of him being around again, I hate it. I know you saw him briefly last night Y/N, but you haven't seen him when he's fighting. He's tough" Blitz says "Well yeh he was Mox, but most people are when they're fighting YOU" "What?! Sir I can handle myself!" "When Millie's holding your hand...or your d#ck!" "Sir! I'm-" "Anyway, anyway Moxie. Your right, he is tough. But I know someone in this room who would beat the sh#t out of that #sshole" "Sir, if your going to say Luna, she barely helped us that day when we ALL fought him!" "Not quite Luna, but I know my sweet baby could tear out anyones throat out! Can't you Loony?!" Just shrugging at him, you see a small smile at the corner of Luna's mouth.

"Anyway Moxie, if you hadn't have interrupted me you f#cking bipsh#t! I was actually gunna say Y/N" You were instantly confused. "Huh? Why me?" "Oh come on! I once saw you take out an entire street of humans in the most brutal and violent ways! There was a good 45-50 of them! And they were better fighters than Striker!" "Blitz, first off, I disposed of them because they were all convicted pedofiles. And they were meeting up there to find away to lock down a local human school" "Yeh! And you f#cking k#lled every one of them!" "Yes...and second of all, I know there was a lot, but this Striker you've told me about has an angelic weapon and was able to take on all 4 of you, and get away. What makes you think that in a scenario where me and him are fighting, that I would be the one who comes out on top?" "Because you have fought each one of us, and all at the same time when we did our training before we started going to the human world. And each time, you beat the sh#t out of us! You even beat Luna!" "Yeh....you kinda did beat me Y/N....but I also kinda respect you because of that" "Oh, thanks Luna. Look, discussing this is all well and good. But what if Striker decided he's going to try and finish the job with Stolas?" Everyone looks at eachother for a moment, trying to think of what to do. "I've already told Stolas we're not bodyguards, you remember the sh#t show at Loo Loo Land?" "Yes Blitz, but let's not forget. No Stolas, means no access to the human world" "Oh f#ck sticks! Alright, fine! We'll keep an eye out for Striker. If any of you guys see him, kill him! Or else were out of a job"

The next few days went by as normal, you went and did a few jobs with Blitz, Millie and Moxie, informed Stolas about Striker and told him to call any of us if he saw him again, and generally just tried to get on with things. You and Blitz hadn't discussed the moment in his office, but you knew it had to be brought up, but how? Now that you knew that he really did wanna sleep with you...were you going to?...... One morning, Blitz gave Millie and Moxie a little job on earth to do, he apparently couldn't be bothered to do it. So Millie and Moxie left with the book, Blitz was in his office talking a call from Stolas and Luna was sat behind the front desk, checking her sistagram. You saw this as an opportunity, and seized your moment. "Hey Luna?" "What?" "You bored?" "Yeh" "I need to do some important paperwork at this desk, how about you go and see if there's anything nice you can treat yourself with down the mall in town?" You say sweetly offering her $60. "Wow! Really?" "Yeh, go treat yourself for a few hours" "Cool, thanks. I'll see you later" As soon as she grabbed her coat, she was out of there, and you and Blitz were the only ones in work. Walking towards his office, you can faintly hear the ending of the phone call with Stolas, which Blitz seemed to want to finish. You knocking on his door gave him the perfect excuse. "Huh? Stolas I gotta go, someone's hear to talk to me. Buy. Is that you my little Loony?"

Blitz was pleasantly suprised to see you walking into his office instead. "Y/N! What brings you buy? Oh, and by the way, whatever it is, I'm glad. Because Stolas was talking my f#cking ear off on the phone" "Stolas does love to chat to you Blitz" "Yeh, he likes a lot of sh#t about me. Maybe it's because I diddle his holes every month? Eh it must be, anyway! What do you need?" Raising an eyebrow to him and slowly closing the door, you lean against his door, trying to look seductive. "Maybe I need you to finish what you started.....that is....if you remember?" He stands straight up, eyes wide at first, then turn hungry and devilish. "Ooooohh...your damn right I remember...." He takes his time to walk over to you, taking in the sight of you, looking so damn sexy infront of him. He pins his hands against the wall, with you and him now very close. "So....you do wanna ride on this d#ck huh?....." "If...you can deliver the goods...." "Oooh baby....promise me when I say, I can deliver the f#cking goods....tell me....how do you like it?..." "I like a guy that can take charge..." You say seductively, running your hand down his chest and slowly massaging his now growing bulge. "I like someone who tells me what to do....tells me what a good girl I can be" You lean into his ear, bite at his earlobe and run your tounge down his neck making him shiver. It was like a fire was lit in him, he exhaled deeply, sounding so sexy, right before his hand came and wrapped around your throat.

"Let's just see about that....(grawl)" That noise he made was enough to make you wet already, let alone the look in his eye and the way he spoke to you. His hand on your throat ever so slightly squeezed as his other unbuckled his trousers. "I've wanted to f#ck you like this for so god damn-oh sh#t! Won't Luna hear us?" "Nope! I gave her some money to spend in town...I wanted you all to myself..." "Oh your full of suprises....but now I want you full of me!" His hands grab your hips and pin you against the wall, leaning in and pressing his eager lips to your neck and kissing the soft and delicate skin, making you practically melt against him. Your breath catches as he nibbles at your neck and ear, and he starts to grind against you as his hips slide a little inbetween your legs. You can feel his hard bulge as he rubs it in just the right space, f#ck me you were so turned on from this, and he hadn't even taken his clothes off yet. Pulling away from your neck, he kisses you so hard that you feel dizzy and breathless, your fingers dig into his shoulders just so you can have something to hold onto. Ripping his shirt open, you stroke down his chest, feeling his tough body and his racing heartbeat, holy sh#t. Without warning, he picks you up and slams you on top of his desk, still holding your legs around his hips as he looks deep into your eyes.

"Your so f#cking hot....I've imagined plowing you against this desk for so long..." "What's stopping you then?.....or are you being a little pussy?..." Again, his dominant side is back out, and his hand is around your throat again. "Call me a pussy again baby....I dare you....see what happens...." His devilish look and his tone of voice makes you want him to take you now! Hard and fast! ".....Pussy...." "You asked for it..." His lips are on you again, sliding his tounge inside he's trying to f#ck your mouth with it. He pushes you down onto the desk, still holding you by the neck as he whips out his cock, slamming it inside you with no hesitation. "Huh! Oh f#ck!" "Yeh that's it baby...f#cking take all of me....oooh you feel so good..." Just like you wanted him, he holds you in place as he f#cks you mercilessly against the desk. Over, and over, f#cking you like a little rag doll. Your orgasm was already seconds away, you couldn't hold on! Your scream filled the office as your body shook, your legs felt like jelly and he didn't stop once. "That's it, c#m all over my c#ck! Awww, look at that little face...your all worn out....you all finished there? Hit your high....well I think you can handle another one....or a few" He really wasn't finished with you, you did feel a little worn out, but hungry for more, and he could sence that. Flipping you over, your now facing a way from him while still leaning over the desk, where he starts f#cking you again, making tears fall from your eyes as he brings you to climax again and again, and again! Even his tale played a part in the action! When it wasn't flicking and rubbing at your most sensitive area, it was tying your hands together and letting him be completely in control, and you loved every single f#cking second of it! No previous boyfriend or one night stand had made you feel like that before, it was f#cking insane!

You felt as if you were going to pass out soon, this whole experience had tired you out, not to mention this is the most orgasms you had ever had in a row! Your legs were like jelly! If Blitz wasn't holding you around him, you'd have collapsed a long time ago, he was a lot stronger that you had imagined. Just as you feel like another orgasm could put you to sleep, Blitz came with a loud grunt and shout! "(Grunt) Ah ah! Oh f#ck yeh! (Out of breath) oh sh#t! That was....damn! You ok?" "Oh Blitz....I haven't.....just...woh..." "You got some stamina in you girl! Hear let me help you get a little more comfortable" He gently slides himself out and helps you sit in the chair, your poor legs are shaking and you can't control them at the moment. "Was that too much for you? I'm sorry if I was too-" "Oh no Blitz, that was f#cking awesome!" "Yeh?" "Yes! I finaly know what if feels like to get my brains f#cked out" "Ah ha ha! I know right! You were great, way better than I imagined you were" "So, are my legs supposed to be doing this?" "What the shaking? Oh don't worry, I know how to fix that" Taking you carefully in his arms, he walks down the hall with you to the far end, where there is a bathroom with a separate shower area, just incase. It tended to be used if you needed to wash off any blood whilst inbetween jobs, but for now, it was to help you get cleaned up. He was being so sweet, helping you get cleaned and get your legs back to normal in the shower, you wouldn't have imagined he had pretty much rearranged your guts mere moments before. 20 minutes later, you could walk and were no longer as sensitive, and you both went back to Blitz's office to get dressed back into your clothes. He insisted you sit and take a breather as he put his office back together, you both did kind of destroy it in the heat of the moment.

"That was incredible Blitz, I can't believe we haven't done that before" "I know right! I'll tell you what though, you were sooo worth the wait" "Aww thank you. You definitely were too" A few minutes passed and you hear the sound of the portal in the main room, Moxie and Millie had come back. They came and knocked on the door, Millie looked happy, but Moxie not so much. "So M&M, how did it go? Holy sh#t Mox! You look like sh#t!" "Oh he's alright Blitz, he's just a little shaken up by that job we just did" Millie had explained to you and Blitz that they had to deal with a human who wanted to keep Moxie as a pet, and made him wear a dog collar and tried to make him eat dog food. "Can you blame him Mox? You do act like a little b#tch sometimes" "Sir! I am not a dog!" "Calm down Mox, I said bitch! Which is technical a female dog" "Does taking the p#ss out of me make you feel just slightly important for a mere second? Considering how sad your own life is sir?" "Yeh, it does actually. Anyway! Mills, tell me about this little sh#t you and Mox had to deal with. It sounds like fun!" As Millie and Moxie discuss the contract with you both, Blitz couldn't help but sneak glances at you, and you him. He did just f#ck you so damn good! And everyone was oblivious, it was kind of exciting. Later that afternoon, everyone was getting ready to go home, and Luna had come back with a bag of new clothes. She showed you when you asked to see them, however, as soon as Blitz wanted to see like an over excited parent, Luna just hit him with her bag, slightly smirking, it was kind of funny. When Millie and Moxie left, you, Blitz and Luna were walking out to the car park together.

"Are you gunna show me your new clothes at home Loony? I think you'd look so cute in some new outfits!" "Ugghh shut up da-Blitz!" "Aww your too precious" Luna huffed and sat in the van, where Blitz offered to walk you to your moterbike. "Thanks again for giving Luna some money to go shopping, she does love it in the mall. It's just a shame she doesn't like me there with her...I thought it could be a nice daddy/daughter experience" "I know Blitz, and you can have that some day, but it's when you both have to be ready for that. Don't get your hopes up ok? She does love you" "Yeh, I love her too.....So uhh....about today?" "I'm...gunna guess it's something your not going to want to do again?" "Huh? No! Why would you think that?" "Isn't this supposed to happen? Whenever I've been with a guy, they tend to either ignore me from then on, or just never see me again" "What a bunch of fat f#ckin d#ck wads! Hell no! Y/N, I'd still like to keep this going" "You do?" "Yeh! I know when we first met, we discussed not wanting a relationship, so why not friends with benefits? I still care about you, but if you like, we can be friends who screw eachothers brains out too! What do you say?" "You know what? I actually like the idea of friends with benefits. We always banter and flirt with eachother anyway. The only difference now is that we both get to do something about it" "Yeh! I agree! Great! Friends with benefits!" He gives you a quick hug. "I've got to go now, but maybe we could (hang out) again tomorrow?" "Are you sure? Are you not tired from today? Or worried someone could hear us in the office tomorrow?" "Oh I got a f#ck load of stamina baby! And there can't be much noise if your mouth is full....See you tomorow!"

He smiles happily as he hops into his van, and drives down the street to take himself and Luna home, he was such a manic ball of energy, but you loved that about him. Once you got your moterbike ready, you started driving in the direction of home, just enjoying the quiet trip on the bike, like nothing more than an easy night. That was....until the accident....You had taken a turn down a street you usually drive, it was a short cut. But what you didn't see was that mere seconds before you drove over them, someone had thrown road spikes down, and it popped both your bike tyres! You panic! Swerving, scared you were going to crash and get seriously hurt! The bike was about to fall, taking you with it, when you made a quick thinking decision. You, or the bike, you chose you. Jumping away from the seat, you land hard on the pavement right before your bike hit a large tree, crushing it and nearly killing you in the process. Pain floods throughout your body, blood trickled down your arms and face when you touch it, you had hit your head and hurt your arms and legs when you impacted the pavement, it hurt so damn much. All you could make at first was groans, but as you tried to steady your breathing, you started shouting for help. It was dark, and you couldn't see anyone, but you kept shouting, hoping that someone could help you. Reaching into your pocket, your phone had been all smashed up, so you couldn't even call the police or Blitz, and the pain was getting worse. You wipe away the blood on your forhead and try to stand up, but unbeknown to you, you were being hunted...and you were right where he wanted you....Getting to your knees, you try to take a hold of a near by rock, but are suddenly grabbed from behind by an unknown attacker! He pins your badly hurt arms around your back with one of his hands, and the other reaches around and holds a damp cloth over your nose and mouth. Struggling and writhing in his grip, you try your best to get away, but this rag has something in it thats making you drowsy, and moving in his vice like grip is getting too much for you. "Your all mine now little darlin.....and there ain't noone gunna stop me taking you..."

That voice? You recognise this mans voice. STRIKER! But it was too late, your eyes start to close, and everything goes black as you flop in his arms, being completely knocked out. The next morning, Blitz walks into work with Luna, seeing only Moxie and Millie. "Hey butt f#cks, what's new today?" "Nothing yet sir" Moxie says in a grumpy tone. "Y/N wasn't hear to tell us if any new clients had called" "Hmm? That's strange. Have you guys seen her at all?" "Nope, me and Moxie left last night, and the only time we saw her was when she was walking out with you and Luna" "Has she called in sick?" Moxie checks the answering machine, but there's nothing there. "Nope, nothing sir" "That's so weird, let me give her a call" Blitz was starting to worry now, you were always great with your time management, getting there the earliest, good at avoiding traffic, and would always get in touch if any issue came up. "Hmmm, straight to answer machine. Something doesn't feel right" "Did she say anything last night that might make you remember a reason why she couldn't be in sir?" "No, nothing. We were both just talking about what to do today, nothing out of the ordinary" Luna sits behind the desk as Blitz, Millie and Moxie all talk about where you could be, when the phone rings, but Luna just ignored it as she checked her sistagram. "Loony, please answer the phone next time" "Why? That's Y/N's job" "But she's not hear right now Loony" "Uugghh! Fine. Well, looks like it doesn't matter, they left a message on the answering machine" "Oh! Alright, press play then please Loony"

She presses the button, the voice doesn't come through for a few seconds...but when it does...it makes everyone stand on edge. "Hey there little imps..." "That...that's Strikers voice! What the f#ck is he calling us for?!" The message carried on as they all listened. "I'm guessing your wondering what happened to your little lady today huh? Well, let me put ya'll's mind at rest...I've got her with me right now..." "WHAT?!" Blitz shouts. "How is Y/N with Striker sir?" "I don't f#cking know Mox!" "I guess ya'll are wondering why this has happened...well I simply couldn't keep away from such a pretty little thing...well, I say that....she doesn't look too good now. And who can blame her? She did get into a pretty rough moterbike accident last night...and she's passed out right now, bound and gagged in this chair...poor little thing" Hearing what's happened to you makes Blitz's blood boil, and rage is bursting to get out. "I think I could have a lot of fun with this little darlin....however....I am willing to give a trade for her....bring me Stolas....and I'll let her go. But I have to warn you....if you don't do as I say, and bring me that royal #sshole by tomorow night....she may not make it in time....tomorrow night! By the abandoned industrial site! Be there....or be ready to say goodbye to your pretty little lady friend" As soon as he said that, the message ended, and Blitz, in a rage, threw a chair across the room and it smashed into the window. "THAT MOTHER F#CKER!"

"Sir, let's calm down for a moment and think about what to do-" "Calm down? CALM DOWN?! That horse f#cking d#ck wad caused Y/N to get into a crash, kidnapped her and is holding her hostage! And f#ck knows what he's going to do to her before we find her! And you want me to CALM THE F#CK DOWN?!" Millie holds Blitz steady, trying to ground him. "Blitz! Listen to me! We need to think of a plan to get her back! And we can't do that until you calm down, and think about Y/Ns safety!" That seemed to have shaken him out of his rage a little, but just a little. "Oh satan's damn it! I'm sorry Mills, I just hate that she's in danger. If only I'd invited her back with me a Luna last night, she might have never been hurt" "I know Blitz, but thinking like that isn't going to help right now. We need to think of a way to get Y/N back, without handing Stolas over to him. He said he wanted a traid remember?" "Y-yeh? But we can't hand over Stolas" "That's why we need to think of something" Moxie perks up. "I might have an idea!" "What's that Mox? You and Millie dress us as Stolas while me and Luna distract him?" "Wait...how did you?" "Mox, if I can think of it, Striker will figure it out in seconds" "Damn it!" Noone seems to know what to do, and Blitz looks like he's about to have a heart attack. That is, until Luna thinks of something. "I think I know what we can do" "What is it Loony?" "It involves us going to visit Stolas. Come on, let's go" "Oh my sweet Loony! Your so clever!" "Ugghh, whatever Blitz, just get your #sses in the van and lets go"

A whole day had passed, and due to your injuries, you had only just started to wake up out of unconsciousness. Your whole body felt like it had been hit by a bus, your head was sore and painful, and you could feel your waist tied with rope to a chair, and your wrists tied behind you too. There was no way for you to move, but the pain was enough to make you think twice before trying. Your eyes were adjusting to the light of the room, well there wasn't much of that. It seemed you were in some kind of old and disused room, filled with tools, broken pieces of furniture and broken windows shining in a little of the moonlight. You hear a door close behind you, and the sound of those same jingling boots coming up behind you. Strikers hand stroked around your neck, you hated that he touched you.

"Wakey wakey little darlin....man, you were out for nearly two days..." He says as he starts to slowly walk around you, facing you now. "How's about I take this little thing off of you" He says as he tears the duct tape from your mouth, it stung so much. "There we go....you comfortable hear little lady?" "........bite me......" "Ooohhh....little ladys got attitude...just makes me want you even more" "I'd never want you, you psychopathic c#ck sucker. What the f#ck did you do to me?" You ask, angry but still a little dazed. "Ah it's very simple. You see I road spiked your moterbike, drugged you and brought you back hear. Don't take it the wrong way darlin, I have business to do. And your the key to dealing with it"

"The key? What are you talking about?" "Your little friends....Blitz...Millie, and.....oh f#ck what was the other ones name again? F#ck it, it ain't important! What IS important, is that I'm gunna exchange you for my real target, with the help of your little imp friends" "They wouldn't do that! Stolas is an innocent guy, and our only way to do our job! Blitz wouldn't jeopardise that!" "Well he would....if your life was hangin in the balance..." "You sick f#ck....I don't care what you say, Blitz won't do it" "Oh really? Then why did he agree to meet me tonight to do the exchange?" "He...he what?" "That's right....he's bringing his royal f#ck toy hear, to give in exchange for you..." "But...he can't" "And why is that?" "Because....he'd loose everything he's ever wanted...that he's worked hard for....he wouldn't give that up and let Stolas die" "Clearly, in his eyes, you ARE that important. But I quite frankly don't care, I just want to kill that feathered f#ck and get my money. Now.....the meeting isn't happening for another hour. And it would be a shame to miss out on a chance to....(serenade) a beautiful woman such as yourself" "Don't you dare fucking touch me you creep!" "Oh come on little darlin....I can make you feel things no other man can..."

"Oh please! You have zero chance against Blitz!" "Bl-Blitz? You fucked that imp?!" "Oh yeh, and he ruined me for anyone else. And even if you tried, you would never even come close to being half the man he is in the bedroom. Your a pathetic excuse for an imp!" "Shut the f#ck up!" With one wack of his hand, he hits you so hard in the face that your vision goes blurry, and you spit out blood from where he hit you so hard. He suddenly grabs you by the neck, choking you as he stares at you, evil in his yellow eyes.

"How about I f#ck you infront of Blitz before I kill him huh? When he brings me that bird brain, I'll kill him, the stupid imp couple, that hell hound bitch, and then leave Blitz till last! He can see you go through even more torment before I shoot that f#ckers face off!.....but for now..." He let's go of your throat for just a second before he tears your ropes from your waist and hands, and throws you onto the floor. Struggling, and in so much pain as it is, you couldn't fight back even if you wanted to. His stance above you shadowed the moonlight, you were terrified. "For now it seems I'll just have to show you what happens when you act like a little bitch....I'll make that moterbike crash feel like a walk through a f#cking daisy field!......you did this to yourself you know...." An hour later, the meeting was about to start. Blitz and Stolas were standing in the back part of this disused industrial site, waiting for Striker and you to arrive. They heard a car driving up to them, which came to an abrupt halt just a few feet infront of them. Striker is the one who gets out of the car, pointing an angelic weapon at Blitz and Stolas. "Where is Y/N you mother f#cker!" "Ah ah ah...patience little imp....hand over the bird first" "No! Until we see Y/N, your getting nothing!" "Huh! Fine!" Still pointing the gun, Striker walks around the the back door, and hauls you out of the back, completely and utterly broken. He throws you to the ground, inbetween him, Blitz and Stolas. Stolas looked so worried and scared for you, and Blitz looked utterly heartbroken.

It caused him so much pain and anger to see you like this, how dare he do this too you. "Y/N! Oh shit Y/N I'm so sor-" "Ah ah! Don't go near her Blitz! She's mine for now" "She doesn't belong to you, you c#ck sucking-!" "Oh, but she does...until you hand HIM over...." Blitz couldn't keep his tear filled eyes off you, Striker had beaten you to a pulp. You had two black swollen eyes, blood on your lips, cuts and bruises on your face. You were limp on the ground, barley able to keep your head up or even look at Blitz. The beating you got from Striker had destroyed you, not to mention the other damage you sustained when the moterbike crashed. Tears streamed your face, and Blitz was at a war with himself, deciding weather to hold you in his arms or beat Striker to death.

Striker could see the pain in Blitz's eyes, and he made it worse by aiming the angelic gun, now at you! "I said! HAND HIM OVER!" Blitz looked up at Stolas, and Stolas just simply nodded and started to walk over to Striker. "That's it...nice and steady" Stolas never said a word as he stood close to Striker, the gun now aimed at him instead. "Thank you Blitz, it seemed you ain't so useless after all" "We've made the trade, now let me help her-" "Hmmmm.....wait....on second thought.....how about I just kill you all?" "What?!"

"Oh come on Blitz, you really thought is was gunna be that easy? I'll deal with this bird brain first....then I'll deal with you, and this bitch! But don't worry, I won't kill you straight away....I wanna make you watch her suffer....just a little more..." "You mother fu-" "Awww, it's a shame it had to happen this way Blitz, I thought we could be a really good team" "......You know what?......the only person who's gunna end up dead tonight is you" "What?" "Come on....you really thought it was gunna be this easy for YOU either?" Blitz said with a smirk. Full of rage, Striker fired the gun at Stolas....but it didn't kill him. In fact it went straight through him like he was made of air, how? The moment he did that, this figure of Stolas evaporated, like he was a mirage. "WHAT THE FUCK!? YOU SON OF A-"

Striker swings around, about to take out Blitz instead, but it Blitz's plan was about to take affect. A gun shoots through the air and hit Striker in his shoulder, Millie and Moxie had been hiding behind an old car the whole time! And they had jumped out and started shooting at Striker, in a stand off! This meant Blitz could jump to you and cover you from any gun fire. "Oh sh#t! Y/N! I'm gunna get you out of hear ok?!" "Blitz....you came...." You just about manage to say with the last of your strength, Blitz couldn't bare to see you like this. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry sweetie! I should have kept you safe! I should have protected you!" You reach out and hold his hand, trying your best to show him that it's ok, and that you understand. He smiles weakly, and kisses your hand. "I'm gunna make sure your safe sweetie" Despite the gun fire in the background, Blitz is gentle as he picks you up in his arms, being as careful as he can with you. You hiss in pain, it's too much. "Shhh shhh it's alright, your gunna be somewhere safe soon. Just hold on" Moments later, a portal opens to the real Stolas on the other side, looking worried. "Oh my! Blitzy, what happened to her?!" "Never mind that now Stolas! Please take her, help her and keep her safe!" "Of course Blitzy" Blitz hands you to Stolas, and he was just as gentle with you as Blitz was. "I'll be back as soon as I can alright? I'm gunna go gake care of that b#stard!"

The last you see of Blitz, Millie, Moxie and Luna is the faint glimpse of them all fighting Striker, right before the portal closes. "Oh my poor sweet Y/N, how could someone do this to you? Just hang in there, I'm taking you to the best hospital there is"

You just about manage to hear him say that, but the pain was over flowing, and your body couldn't stay conscious anymore. The world turned black when your eyes fluttered shut. "Oh my! Y/N? Y/N?!" Hours later, your safely in a hospital bed with Stolas by your side, not leaving you for anything. Thankfully, they had managed to help you, and so did Stolas. He used his book to try out some healing spells on you, that helped with the internal bleeding you had, and got you out of the deadly danger zone. There was only so much the book could do for you though, and that's where the hospital are standing in. The bruising, swelling and pain is being kept under control with pain medication, you unfortunately were still passed out, your poor body had gone through so much, any strength you had, was now gone. About 20 minutes later, Blitz and the others run into the hospital room, out of breath and physically drained. Moxie and Millie collapsed against the wall, Blitz ran straight to you and Luna soon joined too. "Y/N! Is she ok Stolas?! Please tell me she's gunna be alright!" "It's ok Blitzy, she's going to be alright" Luna asked "What injuries did she have?" Stolas takes a breath. "Maybe we should stand outside for a moment?"

He didn't feel comfortable talking about your injuries when you could possibly hear. Blitz was hesitant of leaving you at first, but he knew you were in the best place, and that you were safe. They all stood outside and Stolas explained what you had gone through. It seemed any injury you could have sustained, you did. You had been assulted by Striker to within an inch of your life, which caused broken ribs, broken wrist, cracked ankle and your body was covered in bruising from head to toe. You had also suffered even worse damage from the moterbike crash. Nerve damage and a ruptured spleen, which was thankfully dealt with quickly and efficiently thanks to Stolas's book. It was no wonder you had been in so much pain, pretty much nothing on you had been untouched. Blitz collapsed to the floor when hearing this, he hid his face in his hands as the angry and guilt filled tears poured out of him. The poor guy blamed himself for what happened to you, he blamed himself for everything bad that had happened to people he loved or cared about. Including what happened in the circus years ago, he felt like a curse. "Blitzy, it's ok. She's going to make it" "But look at what she's gone through! I couldn't-I couldn't help her!" "Oh but you did Blitzy....she was in danger and you saved her. She's now in hospital, and she's safe again" "But for how long?! We couldn't....." "You couldn't what?" Moxie clears his throat. "Striker got away...we couldn't k#ll him. Which means he is still a danger to you and Y/N" Stolas takes a breath to steady himself, then he says. "I....I see....But...There is danger everywhere you look. We're in hell! Of course there will be! But me and Y/N are both safe, and I know that she is going to be ok once she's herself again. Blitzy? Blitzy look at me"

Still teary eyed, he looks up at Stolas. "Y/N is going to be ok....and your to thank for that. Now....at this moment, she needs you. Why don't you go and sit with her? I can see you need to be with her"

Wiping his cheeks, Blitz stands up and steadied his breath. He wanted to be calm before going into see you, he needed to be. He walked in, where Stolas talks to the others who are still in the hall. "Are you all alright?" "Yes your majesty" "Are any of you hurt?" "A few cuts hear and there, but nothing we can't handle" Millie says with a smile, she was a tough cookie. Luna runs her hand through her hair as she speaks. "I'm fine, I bit that b#stard in the arm before he got away. But I'm good" "Oh thank goodness. And, what about Blitzy? He seems..." "He's just worried about Y/N, your majesty" Moxie says. "He's been so worried about her ever since she never turned up for work. Knowing Blitz, he isn't going to leave that room for a while" "I do believe your right" Moxie and Millie tell Luna and Stolas that they are going to go and grab some clothes from your flat for you, and they will be back a little later. And Luna heads in the direction of the hospital canteen, she thought everyone could do with something to eat or drink. Stolas was now left by himself, he leant against the door of your room, and observed Blitz sitting beside you. He was in pieces. In the room, you lie there, pale, bruised and totally lifeless, poor Blitz couldn't control his tears. "I'm...I'm so sorry Y/N....for everything. F#cking christ! Why do I f#ck up everyone whose closest to me? Barbie, Fizz...and now you...I don't deserve you as a friend, or even more than that to be truthful. Any imp would beg to have a woman like you...and I can't even....oh f#ck!" He couldn't contain it anymore, and burst out into tears, hiding his face away from the world. The pain and guilt he felt for you was overwhelming.

He suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder, making him turn to see who it was. "Blitzy.....I'm so sorry..." He couldn't speak word, the tears just kept coming, and Stolas just sat beside him, holding him by his shoulders gently as he let all that pain out. "When I find that f#cker-" "Striker shouldn't be your priority now Blitzy...she should be" "Your right, your right I...damn it I just don't know what I can do for her Stolas. What do I do?" "Anything you think will help her....comfort her when she wakes up, talk gently to her, reassure her that she's going to be alright" "She will be! Because I ain't gunna let anyone hurt her ever again!" "I believe you Blitzy, she is lucky to have you by her side....I'm going to give my daughter a call, I have to pick her up from her mothers home tonight. Are you going to be alright hear?" "Yeh, I'll be fine. I'm not leaving her" "Alright Blitzy, I'll come by tomorrow to check on the both of you, ok?" Stolas gently pats Blitz on the back before leaving the room, so now it's just you and Blitz. "I hope you wake up soon Y/N...I can't bare to see you like this" A knock at the door alerts Blitz, like he is expecting danger. "Chill out Blitz, it's just me" "Oh! I'm sorry Loony...I guess I'm a little on edge" "Yeh no sh#t. Hear, I got you somethin" "Thank you Loony" She hands Blitz a bottle of drink and a sandwich, but he just plays with it in his hands. "Hows she doing?" "She isn't awake yet. I don't know when she will be" "The doctor told me outside that she may be hear for a few weeks, but thanks to Stolas, she's gunna recover a lot better than anticipated" Blitz nods, still a little teary eyed. Luna couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Taking a seat beside him, she gave his hand a quick squeeze, but then let go again. "She'll be ok dad" "Thanks Loony....your the best daughter anyone could ask for" She looked away the second he said that, trying to hide her cute little puppy dog eyes, that was very corny, but one of the nicest things he has said to her. And he is always trying to be sweet to her.

The sound of the beeping monitor started to make you stir from your drowsiness, your vision started to brighten and unblur, and the moment your eyes completely opened, you saw Blitz and Luna sat beside you.

"Blitz?" You ask in a quiet and groggy voice. "Y/N! Oh thank satan! Your awake!" He shouts cheerfully as he leans in to hug you. "Hhsss! Ouch!" "Oh! F#ck! Sorry sorry! I should have been a little more gentle" "Don't worry, it's ok" Silly Blitz just smiled happily and held your hand, Luna asked you "So Y/N? How you feelin?" "Like sh#t, that has been run over by a truck" "Seems about right, heh. I could always smuggle you some vodka to help ease the stress?" Blitz looked at her in utter shock. "Loony!" "What? Are you really gunna sit there and tell me that drinking vodka hasn't helped you with pain in the past?" "Well....I....touche!" You giggle, Blitz couldn't exactly deny that when Luna asked. "I'm fine thanks Luna, whatever the nurses are pumping into me, seems to be doing the trick. Are you guys all ok? Where are Moxie and Millie? Where's Stolas? And what the hell happened when you came to find me?" "M&M went to get you some of your things, Stolas is fine, and on the phone to his kid. And, yeh....I suppose we owe you an explanation for what happened. I'll try to sum it up as best as I can. So when Striker left that message for us, he wanted Stolas in exchange for you. So Loony had an idea, and we spoke to Stolas at his castle. Turns out that book can do loads of other cool sh#t besides take us to the living world! Anyway, Stolas suggested we do a spell where it looks like he's beside us, until the very last moment, making Striker think he's actualy there! And Lonny suggested that we ambush Striker when he brought you out, and Stolas could teleport you away while we dealt with him! We knew that you would be in no position to fight, the best thing to do was to get you out of there as quickly as possible"

"And that's why you stayed behind? Gave me to Stolas so you could k#ll Striker?" "Well...believe me Y/N we all did our best at the time! But that slippery f#cker managed to get away! Again! But trust me, none of us are gunna let him go near you again" "He's still out there? Does that mean he want to still k#ll stolas?" "Yeh, but that ain't gunna happen either, I promise" You just smile, seeing how serious he was about the whole thing, it was definitely a lot to take in when hearing their plan to get you back. You were just glad to be back with your friends again, and not in half as much pain as before. "Hey Y/N, you'll be happy to know that Striker didn't get away easily" "He didn't? Why? What did you do Luna?" "We all pretty much f#cked him up real good. And I even bit him!" "Nice, was it his head?" "I tried, but the pr#ck was too fast" You both chuckle, Luna was definitely not someone to f#ck with. "I can see Millie pulling up with Moxie, I'm gunna go see them and have a cigarette. I'll be back soon" "Alright Loony" Once Luna left the room, Blitz squeezes your hand a little more, and you can see the pain he still holds. "Blitz...it's ok" "Ok?...Y/N your in a hospital, beaten and-" "But you saved me, you all saved me. I'm not being held by Striker anymore" "I know, I know but-" "But nothing Blitz, please? I can see the guilt in your eyes, but you have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm safe now because of you, and that's the end of it. Ok?" "Heh...how can you be so positive when your in this state?" "Is it because I'm awesome?" "Ha! F#ck yeh!......Look, I promise I will keep you safe from him ok?" "I know Blitz, I believe you"

Smiling happily at you, he means over and gives you a kiss on tne forhead, he ws so cute. "How long did the doctor say I was gunna be in hear for?" "Uhh? I think about 3 weeks" "3 weeks? I'm not sure I'm gunna be able to last that long" "Without what?" "Without being back in your office" "You've got to be kidding me! Your thinking about going back to work?! Your gunna put your health at risk to help us-" "Blitz" "What?!" "When I said about being back in your office.....that's not quite what I meant....." "Huh? What do you-Ooooh! Oh you mean (that). I get it now, god I'm such a f#cking idiot sometimes-woh woh wait wait wait! Seriously? You....you still wanna...with me?" "Of course Blitz, why would you think would change my mind?" "I-I dont know? I just guessed...you wouldn't. And come on! Your thinking about THAT in your state!" "Yeh well, I'm not gunna be in this state forever am I?" "I...suppose you make a good point. So....you wanna little piece of me? When you feel a little better?" "Maybe I will...." His sexy chuckle always made you feel wanted, especially when he leaned over and started kissing you so f#cking well. You've missed the taste of his lips, god damn. "Mmm, I cant wait to-" Suddenly there is a knock at the door, and Moxie and Millie walk in, holding a bag of your things. "Oh sh#t! Hey M&M! I didn't know you were back yet?" "We were just talking to Luna outside sir" "Well, he says talking. Luna threatened to kick him in the nuts if he asked her how she was"

Millie said in an amused way. "Awww, that's my Loony!" "Seriously sir? You'll let your adoptive daughter talk to me like that?" "Yeh, I don't really care Mox. Anyway! Look who's awake!" Millie and Moxie greet you with a hug and kind words, asking how you are feeling and what they could do to help. The afternoon went by so quickly, you hadn't even realised it was now the end of the day, and Moxie and Millie were going to head home. "Hey Blitz, Millie said she'll drop me back at the flat on her way home with Moxie. I'll see you later" "Awww ok Loony, thanks for taking her Mills" "it's no problem Blitz, see you tomorow you two" They all say their goodbyes, then it was just you and Blitz left in the hospital room. "I'm confused" "Why?" They left, and your still hear. Why didn't you go with them?" "Oh please! You really think I'm gunna leave you buy yourself? F#ck that shit!" He pulls in a fold out chair from the hallway, and puts it beside you. "Blitz, you dont have to stay over night with me, you can go home" "You ain't making me change my mind, I want to stay, and keep an eye on you" "Blitz that's.....that's very sweet. Thank you" Sitting on the end of the bed with you, he smiles warmly, happy your feeling better. "You tired yet?" "No, but to be fair I think I was passed out for long enough" "Yeh that's true, the last time I was passed out for longer than you were, I think it was a night and day long rave at one of Mamons gigs" "Mamon? That #sshole that Fizz works for?" "Yeh that's the one" "Are you tired Blitz?" "Me? Nah I'm fine. Don't feel tired at all. Why?.....ooohhhh! Do you want a little.....attention?" "If your gunna suggest a f#ck, I'm not sure I can even move properly. Especially with the damage I've got" "Well not a f#ck, maybe a little foreplay? No, I'm sorry that's stupid of me. Your in a bad state" "In too bad a state for s#x yes, but maybe...." "Maybe what?" "Just a little makeout?" "Aww your too cute!" "Blitz! I am not cute!" "Oh yes you are! Your f#cking adorable!" Giggling at him, you just playfully push his arm. But he does slide beside you on your bed and holds you a little closer, with one hand already resting on your cheek. "I'm more than happy to makeout with you....those lips can be damn addictive..." "Is that the reason you bit one of them when we were in the office?" "Hell yeh! Can you blame me?! Now come hear gorgeous...let me make you feel good for a while....I can be whatever you want me to be...." "Oh! Can you be my personal slave?" "Don't push it sh#t tits! Haha!"

#helluva boss #helluva boss fandom #blitzo #blitzø #blitzo x reader #blitz x reader

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leadandblood · 2 months ago

Note

RE drunkJop: this also gives Crozier's own drinking issues such an intriguing flavour because ofc the captain cannot be flogged so. Jop having to deal with that, maybe with resentment. Who knows maybe he himself had gotten drunk because he was done with Crozier's bullshit. Or meaning to do away with the recent bottle. (dont mind me I am just rattling the bars of your braincells' cage so that they may run free)

*the cage breaks open and my braincells scatter in every direction like this:*

IT'S EVEN SUPPORTED BY THE SHOW IN A WAY. At least in my humble reading of it.

We all know Nedward is mad when Crozier drinks but (although subtly) Jopson hates it just as much. You can see it if you pay attention to him enough. He's not exactly angry, but he HATES it when Crozier is drunk. I've made a post about it before i think *furious searching* found this one at short notice but i've definitely made more. He absolutely HATES it.

When Francis punches Fitzjames, Tom just leans against a cabinet and stays there, breathing like he's trying to calm down.

The little pause and a big eyed look before he says "two bottles, sir" has been haunting me since i thought abt it too hard one day.

A good reason for this attitude towards Crozier when he's drunk would be the "i got lashed for less and here he is still in command of a ship" attitude, or maybe, from another angle, it may be "oh my god Captin what the FUCK are you doing" thoughts.

Since he would have been just 23 (which is Insane to me HE WAS SO YOUNG WJAT THE FUWK) and the drunkenness was on duty AND severe enough for 36 lashes (jesus...) it must have been REALLY BAD i reckon.

Of course if we take the show canon, then he may be drinking because of his mother. He left her there, hand maimed, with his brother... Must have felt terrible the poor lad. Even though she wanted him to go, he might have had second thoughts. Maybe felt like like he shouldn't have left.

I think that's a really good reason.

But. If we diverge fron that a bit and step aside for a moment... Take a breather...

I think Crozier's (very bad) love language is giving people way too many/hard tasks. I SWEAR i just saw a post about it recently but i cannot for the life of me find it. How Crozier puts Little under so much preassure Because he loves and trusts him. Maybe he was doing that and more to Jopson during the Antarctic expedition. Maybe Jopson just couldn't handle the work/stress/preassure/whatever Crozier was putting him through at 23. But he was too proud to admit it/didn't want to disappoint him, so he turned to drinking. Maybe he thought nobody would notice? But then it got out of hand.

Two ways this could've gone after the lashing.

The way he's quick to fulfil commands in the show could be "you can't break me again, not like back then" kind of quiet, invisible defiance. He might think it wasn't deserved or at least not to such an extent and hold some resentment toward Crozier for it.

On the other hand he could be trying to prove to him that he's Better now and he's Stronger now and More Capable, Look, Daddy, Look At Me Aren't I So Much Better Now. Could be trying to undo all the shame from disappointing him back then with being the perfect steward now, going above and beyond although he doesn't need to.

Really an interesting thing to think about, to me. Which way did he swing? I need to think more abt this. Anyway.

It would also explain why he doesn't drink in the show! Since drinking on the job was the source of his previous punishment he'd be more likely to decline that shot from Blanky.

Then! Crozier goes dry and Teeheehee Just Like Meeee 🥰🥰 Ofc I'll Help You Get There Captiiin 🥰 And he might get a sick little kick out of it at first, because it finally feels like justice.

But then it goes on for one day too many and it's painful to watch and he starts feeling really bad for Francis. Like it's his fault Crozier's suffering so badly and he stays beside his bed for so many hours of the day and guards him so fiercly because he feels like he somehow caused it. And he doesn't want people to see the captain that way. He wants everyone to respect him and maybe to Jopson this would be the worst thing to come out of it. People not respecting Crozier.

Because nobody could understand his suffering like Jopson does of course! Nobody at all! And least of all Edward who's never had such problems but Tommy and Francis ooh they have so much in common now! He'd be insufferable about it.

(I've played with the thought of drunk Jopson in the fic, but not that much and i would love to expand on it... The Antarctic expedition in '39 would be the best way to do that it seems *sinister laughter*)

Moving on though. Timeskip!

When scurvy takes over him and his lash wounds open again he's really brave (stupid) about it and doesn't tell anyone. But it Hurts so fucking bad. So then he tells Bridgens, whom he trusts not to tell anyone and also to help him. Bridgens dresses his wounds and tells him to "Rest for god's sake". But we know Jopson ://

He doesn't rest and it gets worse and worse and he gets weak really fast until he falls while hauling one day and doesn't get up.

Crozier feels like Shit because well He Supervised that lashing. He's the Cause of this. He could've probably Stopped it, but he Didn't. He may have even ordered that lashing to be done. Oooh he'd feel so fucking miserable.

This is giving "300k fic" vibes and i don't know if im ready for that but GOD i so want to write it now. Thank you for stirring these thoughts, Anon 💖💖🙇

#This is written as very broad not specifically for the AU #For the simple reason of I think More People should think about this and i don't want to #Limit it by making it into the au #But if you ARE a fan of the au then by all means take things stated as basically canon or half-baked canon lmao #I have to sit on this a while more wow #I am. Having feelings. And so many thoughts.#It actually hurts #I have thought abt Tom drinking ofc. But this is certainly new holy shit #So many new layers i am going insane #I actually think it's going to result in a few thousand words at least #Wow #Okay #the terror #francis crozier #thomas jopson #edward little #Mention i guess

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linddzz · 10 months ago

Note

Whooooo! I found ya! Down to business:

Are there any fic recommendations for baggin/shield or pitch/frost that you like(d)?

I am absolutely feral

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..

What are 3 of your most favorite fics that you’ve ever read?

Ya found me! Let me say that the notifications of someone going through old fics and commenting are ambrosia. You are a treasure and a saint of a person!

And oh man I had to dive into my old bookmarks for these! I'm good at remembering snippets or vibes of fics but not the fics themselves. I will warn that a lot of my fave pitch/jack stuff tended to be pretty dark. It's not like, a thing I regret or say is wrong, and I still enjoy/love a lot of it! I was in a dark place mentally and that reflected in the stuff I was reading and creating. Who actually has a good time in their early to mid 20s?

Mostly warning because most of my stuff since then skirts the edges or flirts with the darkness but doesn't feel that need to go deep diving.

Second warning is there may be less here than you'd think! The more I write for a ship the less I read, because my brain gets very dumb and the self doubt gets Real Bad. This is all non-exhaustive of course! I wouldn't even say this is my Best of The Best it's just what's coming to mind at the moment. There's way more in the AO3 bookmarks

Pitch/Jack fics

In the Dark - series by @charmed7293 romancing the monster under the bed is maybe not always the best idea

The Syntax of Programming Languages, and, Why Some Code Talks in Accents - by Midievil. I'm biased here bc this was a gift fic inspired by my The Device Has Been Modified, but it done showed me up bc it was written by someone who knows more about actual coding than me

Shadows and Light - this series by @not-poignant is The Classic of the ship. Since you liked Things That Were you'd most definitely like this one. And unlike me, Pia actually finishes things!

I swear to God there were a lot of fics by @insufferablearchanist that I loved but they nuked their old AO3 and I can't ever remember shit.

Thorin/Bilbo fics

Prayers to Broken Stone - @avelera the beauty and the beast flavored au you didn't know you wanted

Comfort in the Sound - by northerntrash. Ok. Yes. It's Bilbo/Thorin/Bofur but like. Trust me on this. Road trip throuple shenanigans

Patchwork Robe - @hallsofstone2941 I am not immune to stupidly adorable modern college au one-shots

Possession - aljira. You liked Sanzigil, you'll like this :)

Marriage in the Manner of Dwarves - series by diemarysues

Other Fandom Faves (that come to mind. I've been reading fanfic since like 2002 ok there's a lot that has made impressions over the years that I just lost track of dkdjdk)

Taking Everyone For A Ride - by Nonymos. Venom/Eddy+Anne/Dan. typical Eldritch shenanigans plus polyamory. Unhinged and weird, just how I like em

The Only Way Out Is Down - @avelera Newt/Hermann. The second PR movie was so bad I wanna erase it from my memory but my god did it spawn some AMAZING fics, including this one that rewired my brain

After Zero - by what_alchemy Newt/Hermann. A bunch of delightful smut

The Wine Dark Sea - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. Siren! Dream au. Jesus Christ. Holy fuck. Goddamn. Gorgeous, monstrous, surreal, Unhinged4Unhinged behavior. Listen. I work with octopuses. I know what their arms feel like and that has ruined almost all tentacle shenanigans for me ok?? This fic got past that hangup.

If I Please You - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. It feels like a modern retelling of an old medieval fairy romance goddamn

And finally. This series. The series.

So. I very recently refound this series and I'm almost hesitant to post it. Because as I was reading it again I kept having to put it down and sit in horror at the realization that I read this fic when I was in college and it actually rewired my brain. I realized everything I have written was trying to recapture what this fic did to my synapses. I was chasing after vibes that I did not realize originated in this fic for me. Me sharing this risks everyone who reads it and has read my stuff also going "ooohhhh you're just doing this again huh?"

It is the very specific combination of "Character A: openly unhinged, obsessive, violently romantic and unnerving/Character B: seems so chill and just happily rolls with CharacterA being insane, because they are also secretly insane." It's the combo of a codependent bonkers relationship with humorous banality of their day-to-day.

It's also a Johnlock fic.

Anyway, The Paradox Series rewired my brain so deeply that I didn't even realize it rewired my brain until over a decade later. I swear I have been unaware of how much my writing has been leaning on what this did to my brain.

#fic recs #i cannot stress enough how non exhaustive this is dkfjdkdj #refound the paradox series like a month ago and kept having a fuckin crisis about it to my friends #like UH OH IVE JUST BEEN SNATCHING THIS FICS ENTIRE VIBE THE WHOLE TIME

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velvette3 · 8 months ago

Text

(3/29/24)

Why do I feel sad for no reason sometimes? It’s like a sick fuckin joke I swear. Today was such a great and productive day too! My boyfriend is as loving as ever, and he even bought me something! My OC got drawn by someone else so wonderfully and I couldn’t even do her justice w/ her of design! That art is just amazing and beautiful, and it makes me happy!

But yet I feel so sad, like I’m missing something. Maybe it’s just the lingering of my great grandma passing a few months back, but I don’t think so.

My birthday is coming up, I’m excited. I really am, I know for sure at least one thing that is on its way! First time in a few years that I’m excited for my birthday, honestly.

But I just feel sad. Idk, kinda worthless? I love helping people but damnit just seeing those around me struggling, and me not knowing how to help. It’s killing me I think. I’m just glad these are staying in drafts (unless I decide in a half asleep haze to actually post this fuck shit)

I just wanna help people so bad but I’m not able to yet. It’s killing me. I want to help people, I do and helping people makes me so, so happy! It’s what kept me going for a long time. But for that majority of this year, I haven’t been able to help people, and time has gone by too quick. Way too quick. It’s killing me, knowing how fast time is going and how little time I have left in a relaxing life. How little time I may have with people I love. My grandmother on my father’s side isn’t even 20 years younger than the great grandma I lost this year. I’m so scared to lose my Grandma J. I don’t know what I’ll do, and it’s going to be hard once she’s gone, especially when I visit my father.

It’s even worse when there is so much I can’t say to her, and how often I hear her say horrifying things.

I can’t tell her I’m Ace Pan-romantic because she’s Christian, and she talks about death and heaven so casually. I don’t know what’s gonna happen and I’m so, so scared.

So much is just there, and I’m losing so much time. I can’t help people like I want to because I don’t have the time, I can’t spend time with those I love because of how much shit I have to do with my schooling and freaking out about my future (even though it’s already here almost).

Another year I’ve wasted almost, and it’s just moving too quick.

The few things I’m grateful for in this though, are a few people, and my own stubbornness. My boyfriend, god I love him so much. I haven’t said it to him yet, no with the language we speak (English) and I don’t know why. Maybe I’m scared. But I do love him so much. My older brother, E. He’s been there since day one and is so supportive of me. May he be happy in his relationship as it is for him! I love those two shithead so much, and I can’t wait to see my brother again soon, and my boyfriend Just tomorrow maybe!

And my own stubbornness. It’s been almost (at midnight it will be) 191 days since I intentionally self harmed

^ that was the math for months. I am halfway to my head long goal of no self harm, and that has kept me going as well. My stubborn self, whenever I think of self harming, practically on the verge of just doing it, I say I can’t. I’ll be crying and weeping, wishing for pain, but I still can’t bring myself to do it because I promised myself I’d go a year AT LEAST. It’s kept me from giving in, thank god.

But I don’t know, with all of this, even with those few people, if I can do it. I came so close, so so close to giving into the thoughts and shit recently. I’m starting to scare myself. I don’t know what I’m doing, and it’s killing me. Ever since my third grade years, I was horrible when it came to control. That’s when my self harm started, in third fucking grade because I thought I could’ve preventing certain things from happening, had I tried harder. Ever since then I’ve been so hard on myself but FUCK I need to, I deserve it because I’ve let people down so many times, I’ve disappointed so many people so much.

But I dunno. I dunno why I’m so sad when today was so good for me (3/29/24)

I dunno anymore, I just want to help people so bad, I want time to slow down. I want to feel whole. Helping people helps me, and my mentality, so much. But I don’t have the time to help others anymore and it’s so hard to find people to help when everyone has such outta wack time zones.

(3/30/24)

Time is passing too quick and it’s terrifying. On top of that, I’m so scared that if I mess up in my schooling (online schooling anyways) that my parents will call me outta the blue and yell and shit. I remember very vividly back in middle school how I got like, 2-4 states mixed up on my US states quiz that I cried. I cried so hard, fearing that my mother would be angry over a topic I should know well since this is the very country we live in. Thankfully, she wasn’t.

As of now, the grades I’m getting are decent. All A’s, all year round. But I’m struggling in my Spanish. Sure, they may have been more positive about my grades here recently because of the fact that I’m towards the top of my class, but that’s not the point.

Then being happy about it sometimes makes it worse. I fear if I slip even the slightest, their expectations, if I fail them, they’ll be angry again.

I’m so scared to impress them, that I’m making it harder for me because I do so well. I know I do decently, but because of the fact that I rarely mess up, the times that I do, are impactful.

It’s awful, really. I should be happy about my success but it’s just giving me hella anxiety.

I guess this is just a journal now? Meh, it might as well be. Drafts stay drafts, after all.

(Yeah I think this is draft #16?)

#vel rants/info dumps #depressing shit #personal stuff #I’m sorry guys #but it’s not like y’all are gonna see this #this is staying in the damned drafts #Vel’s drafts #sorry for the long post #sorry for the rant

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finalfrontierpublishing · 2 years ago

Text

Process - or really Nic doing random shit and hoping it works

Recently, a few bookbinders have been describing their creative process and i love how aspirational and amazing they are. these people are amazing, my friends- they come up with so much cool shit in the setting of their home, with things they have on hand, and it shocks me at how great these bookbinders are.

i think comparatively, my process is fairly simple (i.e. chaos gremlin), and I've decided I'd like to use a previous book i took process pics of as a general outline as to how i come up with what i want to do.

My first step is usually to fixate on a particular design element and move on from there - this is usually a chapter font or an image header or a cover image i’m interested in using, and then moving on to putting things together to form something cohesive. most of the time i have to see how it’ll look visually before i can decide, which does make choosing design elements challenging and hence made me a little into a pantser (despite being an asshole who likes to measure things). half the time, i change things like endpapers or endbands or colour of bookcloth or even the whole freaking design right down to the wire because i just won’t know what will work until i can see it.

To make this a little fun for me, I'll outline the general stream of consciousness (let's face it, it’s not that much of a process, I just think things and sometimes a book happens) along with 45% of the foul language that accompanies it when I try new things with books.

(Please be aware that I am 90% made of foul language and i sometimes frequently blaspheme like a sailor)

See below for thought process, process pics and much swearing.

Day 0 minus 14 - Ok, let's be smart about binderary, shall we? I have a week of leave in February, let's make it count... Proceeds to prepare 10 typesets with 2 ready-made ones and then an additional notebook for a total of 13 books for Binderary. Ooh boy. Yeah, that’s achievable.

Day 1:

Attends queercore workshop at 0630am in the morning. Fuck, am I sleepy. Did I succeed in making a book? Not really. Okay, let’s fudge it. Converts glueless notebook with nice stitching into case bind. Convenient gift for mothers day - booyah, 1 gift done.

Oh hey. I have a thing. What about the Oh Mercy // Oh Love book. Hmmm, I have a nice image for this that I didn't use for the typesetting. Wonder if I can stitch it.

20:00 hours: Oooh, Neenah Illusio Laser paper - it looks so shiny. And Metallic. Very circuit board-y. Just what i was going for. Is it a paper? Is it cloth? I have no fucking idea. Hope it takes foil alright.

20:30 hours: Ooh ok, success - Jesus that's a lot of holes to poke.

Day 2:

Okay, procrastination. Gotta make a case.

JEsus i hate the turn ins and THE SPINE DFJKLSDFKLJ;SDF;LKSDF paper why you gotta do me a dirty?! Stiff and crinkly!!!!

17:00 hours: okay, case is nearly doneish.

Time to use foil quill to outline the holes to give it that soldered look and then do all the hole pokery. Dinner first.

19:00 hours: Dinner sorted. But like you know, let’s do some hammering with an awl in an apartment complex and pray none of the neighbours complain.

Shit these holes are small.

22:30 hours: I might finish this by Christmas, maybe.

JFC i am collapsing under my hubris. THE FACT I THOUGHT I COULD DO THIS. Oh god @&£#'€¥ what possessed me to try this - oh I know, I thought it would look cool (90% of why I do things when I make books).

Go easy on the thread - do not rip it through the space between two holes. JESUS FFFJB;N;KLGH CHRIST WHY.

Okay I can do this. I can do this. Stitches for 4 hours and nearly collapses.

Stitching is done!!!! Hmmm design looks a little plain. And awww shit you can't see any of the gold around the holes anymore. Okay let's try going over it in foil quill again.

00:30 hours: OH FUCK OH FUCK WHAT A FUCKING BAD IDEA.

Jesus djdjsbsbdjdsbdbddnc * MAKES MISTAKE and adds dot of gold on the side of a hole, plainly not in the hole*

Frantically googles ‘how to remove we r memory keepers heat reactive foil from paper’

Tries to remove it with an eraser and tape as per google recommendations- but removes a fuck ton of the green colouring on the bookcloth as well. JESUS.

I am ready for death.

Day 3:

10:30 hours: Okay I am ready for a new day. Am I really ready? Unclear. Time to weed the shit out a fucking complex design and go blind in the process.

12:30 hours: Ok fuck, that only took 2 hours.

But oh shit endbands and glueing of the spine. Time to do some glueing. At least it’s somewhat therapeutic. Jesus my endpapers and mull are still not on.

14:00 hours: On to the case it goes

14:30 hours: Time to do some HTV application

Fuck why isn't the HTV sticking JESUS cricut is an evil corporation out to take my money and yet I did not want to use Siser HTV today because I Was Not Ready for Death and Ruination.

Proceeds to iron for the next 1 hour.

16:00 hours: Fine it's finally fucking on?

Is the spine done? Hmmm. that little blemish isn’t covered. Should I cover it? Ugh.

Cuts out little squares of gold foil - but it looks foul. Okay, nope, not good.

Fuck I need a nap. Somewhere along the way, spouse comes home. Dog has been fed. My job is done.

Naps for 3 hours just because.

20:00 hours: Okay moment of truth. Time to case in. Book is gonna be held together with glue and prayer. Shit why do the squares look so small- fuck it's because there's some stitching on the spine so I can't push the textblock all the way in. I DID NOT PLAN FOR THIS EVIDENTLY. please do not stick out please do not stick out please do not stick out

20:30 hours: hallelujah it is FINE - into the press of a million books it goes

So that was a wild ride-- i wish i could say i exaggerate, but this is how it is with me tryin’ to do a book especially when trying new things i haven’t previously done before. Will a book happen? Sometimes I don’t really know.

#bookbinding process #or just me being a disaster #you know #renegade bindery #fanbinding #bookbinding #oh mercy oh love #my books

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i-luv-carl-grimes · 2 years ago

Text

☾꙳all the things I hate about you☀︎꙳pt.2

꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳

Chandler Riggs x Fem! reader

Summary: you recently got booked for an acting job playing a character in the walking Dead, it just so happens that you play the love interest for a character named Carl Grimes played by Chandler Riggs, and you soon realize you two hated one another

Warning: swearing and mention of blood

꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳

"Miss Y/n L/n, we are more than pleased to tell you that you have been excepted for the role of c/n (u can name ya character<3) we are happy to have you on our team, the first shoot will be in 3 months on October 24, see you soon!" my mom read, my knees hit the ground and tears dressed my cheeks in ribbons.

"I'M GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS WITH A FAMOUS PERSON!!!" f/n yelled hugging me I just sat there shocked almost as if nothing that was happening really happened. 'We are happy to have you a part of our team' that ran through my head over and over again. "Why are you crying?" F/n asked only making me cry more. "I don't know!!" I yelled and lunged into her hug. "I'm so jealous you get to meet Norman (the actor for Daryl) you HAVE to let me say hi to him I think I might actually pass out," he said, her obsession with Norman was always big almost as big as mine for Chandler. "I will," I said my voice still wobbly and breaking as I whipped tears from my eyes. "Y/n you got a... Twitter? The notification" my mom said handing my phone and almost immediately started screaming and jumping around like an idiot.

"HOLY SHIT!" I screamed looking at the notification then f/n looked at my phone. "Holy shit..." she said. "Language!" my mom yelled. I then ran upstairs and jumped on my bed only to scream and violently kick my legs as if the cutest boy ever just followed me...oh wait. "Don't you play his love interest?" f/n asked, my legs stopped and fell, and my screams quieted, only to scream louder and my legs to move faster and harder. "I GET TO BE CARL FUCKING RIGGS LOVE INTEREST" I screamed with probably one of the stupidest looks on my face. "Geez n/n calm down, oh but God PLEASE let me meet Norman," she said and I sat up remembering... Georgia... Oh. "Of course, I will f/n! As long as you take care of yourself, please promise me that" I said walking over to her and grabbing her shoulders. "I promise," she said and pulled me into a hug. "What if he has a girlfriend," I said and f/n started to laugh. "God would you calm down your never this talkative," she said in between laughs. "HOW CAN I NOT BE!? I'M LITERALLY GONNA MEANT SOMEONE I'VE ADMIRED SINCE I WAS 8!!!" I said and f/n started laughing more I then jokingly passed her my mother then came upstairs

"Hun, how are we gonna tell your father?" she asked. "Oh....simple we don't" I replied in a cold tone. "We can't just tell him," she said and I started to pick at my sick (cuticles). "He lives in Georgia anyway" I scuffed. "I guess your right," she said then walked out. As I felt the skin in my fingers rip and blood going on my nails. "Y/n your picking at your skin again," f/n said and I looked down to see a re-open wound on my thumb, I just walked into the bathroom and grabbed a band-aid to wrap around it, "sorry about that," I said putting on a small forced smile. "It's fine, YOU SHOULD POST ON TWITTER," she said and I immediately jumped on my bed and took a screenshot of the email (keeping out the parts where it shows who sent it), and opened Twitter.

@u/n

Thank you so much for this moment and over all opportunity

I then posted it and turned to look at my ceiling with an ear-to-ear smile. "Y/N F/N WE'RE GOING TO A FANCY RESTAURANT TO CELEBRATE BE READY AT 6" my mom yelled I looked at my phone '3:30' we still have a while, my phone vibrated and I look to see a notification

@/g/u/n (just put someone u don't like)

I cant believe YOU of all people got the part I feel bad for Chandler

She said and I felt my heart drop, I hated e/n (enemy name), we used to be best friends to the point where we went everywhere together, on trips to the beach and having sleepovers every week that was until middle school, then she changes she began hanging out with this group of girls that for some reason NEVER liked me and she quickly joined them. But we were still friends weird right? well not to her I soon found out she was only using me to get with the boy I 'liked' the more I really think about it the more I realize I didn't even love him, I liked the thought of 'loving someone I really don't think I've ever been in an actual relationship, I mean I've never even thought of what love feels like. "geez is that thing still on your ass" F/n asked and I nodded. "Y/n, you playing Chandler fucking Rigg's love interest she doesn't have anything on you," she said making me feel better

-time skip-

it was now 5:30 and I had just gotten out of the shower, "hey F/n what should I do with my hair" I asked while she was picking out our outfits. "um...just wear it down don't worry about it" she said, I then grabbed a curling iron and put it to my hair, when I was done I put on light makeup, mascara, foundation and a bit of blush. "alright Y/n I got your outfit!" f/n yelled and I walked out of the bathroom and back to my room to see an outfit laying on the bed with f/n standing over it proudly. it was a black dress with a slit down the side of it as well as black heels. "f/n you now have I feel about wearing things like this" I said a bit hesitant to wear something that shows so much skin and overall looked like it would attract a lot of attention. "you an actor now! act like it and plus this dress isn't even a lot it's so simple" she said and I sighed. "whatever you say" I said while grabbing the dress and heels. "you know you gonna have to get over your attention problem your playing in a show that more than a million people have watched, you are going to be the center of attention everywhere you go from now on" she said and I leaned against the backroom door. "I know," I said before closing the door and changing into the dress. when I walked out f/n was already changed and covered her mouth with her hands and stared at me. "stop staring!" I said getting uncomfortable for how long she had been looking at me, "not only is my best friend famous but she's also so incredibly beautiful, I've won at life," she said and I turned away in embarrassment. "shut up, if we're on the topic lets talk about how beautiful my best friend is," I said and she chuckled. "as always still can't take a compliment" she teased and I pushed her. "girls, its time to go," my mom said and I up on a brown overcoat and a cream scarf (remember this takes place in autumn). We then went to my mom's car and drove to a very fancy restaurant.

꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳꙳

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter I'll post the next one tomorrow!!

#carl grimes #carl the walking dead #the walking dead #twd carl #chandler riggs #carl x reader #chandler riggs x reader #twd fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #twd x reader #the walking dead x reader

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ceilingfan5 · 1 year ago

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hellooo!! for the ask game:

i think everyone should have a cat au, where one or multiple of the main characters turn into cats somehow and everyone else has to cope

nyeheheh >:3

VERSION ONE:

taako turns into a cat sometimes, kravitz is very affectionate about it but also Taako He Swears To God (i actually made a post about this a million years ago, where sometimes taako just. polymorphs into a cat and flops in kravitz's lap when he needs a bit of physical reassurance but can't quite articulate it...mmm)

taako is also a fucking menace and the more recently he's been a cat the more likely he is to fully give into the impulse, already barely restrained, of just knocking glasses off of tables, biting people, taking shiny things and keeping them forever, and so on

he especially likes to climb on kravitz's shoulders in cat form and rub against kravs stubble <3

VERSION 2WO:

the tres horny boys get fuckin wizard blasted into being kitty cats and cause absolute havocmayhem on the moon. magnus has the zoomies. merle is eating the house plants. taako is. shit does anyone have eyes on taako oh lord

VERSION THREE:

The IPRE gets bond engine blasted into goddang warriorcats but theyre so bad at it. i mean lup rules obviously, she'd be In Charge in days. you aint never seen meow meow war like this. who taught the fight kitties horrible magicks and foul language. how could this possibly happen. something something firestar

barry is the kitty pettest. i could make a swimming/riverclan joke but to be honest im only a warrior cat fan in law, i don't know that much and mostly i am imagining barry trying to catch a fish that's bigger than his fluffy kitty body and getting absolutely trout slapped

magnus has a lot to say about how he wishes he was a dog instead but fucking loves it

dav is a feline mastermind. he also has the tiniest little legs. mr. murderbritches ass. you know he could take you down but the awww response cannot be denied. lucretia also has kittypet energy. she wants to know Fucking Everything the medicine cat knows and is like, furiously trying to figure out the world logic that makes this society even semi-functional. it drives her nuts that merle just accepts the medicine cat stuff. she goes on a field trip to learn about cat hell and nearly doesn't come back

taako loves having a tail. i mean i tend to have my elves have tails anyway but like. goddamn imagine having a tail. now im jealous

version FOUR:

everybody at the BOB is cats suddenly EXCEPT our main characters, which is so fucking funny. the three of them are up to their elbows in kitties and magnus takes herding cats very seriously. merle is like. listen. what if we didn't fix this problem. and gave up. and taakos like TOO RIGHT until he has a squidward moment and is like wait. director kitty cat can't sign my paycheck. guess we're going on a wizard quest

Version Five:

angus is a shapeshifter and taako finds him asleep on the world's softest blanket and purring and has a Fucking Emotional Moment that will never, ever be spoken of ever again

#5 things au game #hehehe #thanks!

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house-of-slayterr · 2 years ago

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Out For Milk:

Blinky’s POV:

I was furious! Entirely, bloody, furious! I wasn’t sure if it was even at anyone in particular or just in general. Which was becoming more and more common recently. It was concerning.

And now there were people in my house, eating my food, taking up my space. I didn’t want to be here right now, but there was no where to go. So I simply had to grin and bear it. Our guests were practically the most well mannered bunch either.

Watching that Scottish sleezeball talking up Manon all night and getting a bit too close was making my stomach turn. I wasn’t partially hungry at the moment. And watching that made me loose my appetite entirely. I hated him and his stupid accent and his stupid face. Who did he think he is? Sitting in Otis’s chair, sitting in my fathers chair. Talking to Otis’s girl, my Doe Eyes…

When dinner was over, I wasn’t even in the mood to help the family. Sure, if the obsoletely needed my help with something, I would stop everything for them. But I just wasn’t feeling up for it right now. The torture, the screaming, the begging… the smell… it was all too much sometimes. I didn’t want to worry anyone, so I told Spaulding I wasn’t feeling well and I was gonna go lay down in my hammock.

It was good to let someone know where you were when there was strangers in the home. In case someone escaped and tried to hurt you, someone would know where you were. Which was part of the reason I was entirely fuming with unriddled rage right now. Where the hell was he. Screw my stupid swearing rule…

I wasn’t better than anyone. Certainly not for watching my language. Not after the things I’ve done. The things I’ve seen and allowed to happen. The things I’ve kept a secret. I knew the sounds would be loud in the house, RJ and Baby liked to listen to music while they tortured. And the screams were loud themselves. When I was certain I was alone I finally let it out.

“FUCK!”

I shouted as loud as I could, expelling all the air from my tiny lungs. And damn did that feel good. How did my like even get here? How did all the paths I took lead me to this lifestyle? Lead me to become a monster just like the rest of them?

But what’s even the point? You can’t undo the things you’ve done. I can’t unkill the people that have died. Unstained my hands with blood. But I didn’t feel guilty… not about most of them at least. And certainly not about that brain dead imp who attacked my Doe Eyes.

So then what the hell was I feeling guilty about? Darla? I guess she didn’t really deserve what happened to her. Her only fault was loving my brother. But then again, I was once guilty of the same crime. When I was younger, more naïve.

My mother?

No.

There was feeling there but guilt was pointedly missing. Relief. Regrets for not doing it myself. Joy.

But all this talk about guilt was making me sound like Ghost. And who am I to scold her, while doing the exact same thing myself. I didn’t even believe in a god, so then… what was I afraid of? Who was I afraid would judge me? My family wouldn’t… they love me. They loved me possibly more now. And I didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion.

Emotions were frustrating! They made no sense! They weren’t logical! They couldn’t be calculated! And I hated them! I couldn’t relax so I went to my other spot around the house, back up to the roof. I hadn’t been back up there since the day my mom came here. Perhaps I’d take a nap, stop thinking for a little while…

I heard the familiar sound of a truck door slamming and very hair on my body stood on end. I quickly sat up, rushing over to the other end of the roof and peaking over the edge. My eyes widened when I saw a tuft of white hair.

He was really home. I watched him go inside. He didn’t seem in too bad of a mood, but I was curious. Curious maybe wasn’t the primary emotion I was feeling right now. But curious none the less. I waited a second after the front door closed, and swung down from the roof. My landing getting better each time I did it.

I crept inside and stayed hidden. Which wasn’t that hard considering my size, and the fact that I almost never wore shoes unless I had to. It made being quiet easier, the exact opposite of Otis’s heavy work boots that currently slapped against the floor. How he ever managed to sneak up on Manon is beyond me. He could be quiet no more than Baby could.

I wasn’t surprised he went straight to his room. It made sense. It was night time. He must have been tired. But I was a little hurt that he didn’t stop at my room along the way, considering it was before his. I debated following him into his room, but I knew Manon was probably already asleep. And I was far too angry right now for that to be a good plan.

I didn’t want to break anything. Or more specificity her, if Otis and I got into a fight. It didn’t happen often, in fact, almost never. We’d only been in a fight once before, and it was far worse than harmless bickering. I didn’t talk to him for nearly half a month, and that wasn’t something I really wanted to do again. I sighed, gently leaning against the thin wall for a moment.

I heard a small squeak come from Manon, which meant he must have woken her up. Jerk. I pushed myself off the wall and went over to my room. I was still working on making a space for Ghost that was just her own. So I was pleasantly surprised to find the older girl wasn’t currently asleep in my bed. She’d been hanging out with RJ a lot more recently. I’m entirely convinced she must have brain damage, because no sane person would choose to sleep in RJ’s room.

I threw myself down onto the bed, bouncing for a moment from the force of it. I let out a low groan into my pillow. It felt childish which made me laugh. I was literally screaming into my pillow instead of just talking about my feelings. But maybe it was best if I slept on it, no? Let him sleep. Surely we’ll both be more level headed in the morning.

So why did I want to March threw that door and yell at him right now. Sometimes it was better to do absolutely nothing when I was trying to work on my impulse control. The second I get up to move, I can’t guarantee my feet won’t just carry me where my heart wants me to go right now. Twenty or so minutes must have passed of me just breathing face down on my bed, until a string of noise caught my attention.

Without my headphones on, I could hear sounds from Otis’s room at night sometimes. And tonight was no different, or so I thought. But I frowned when I recognised those sounds, realised the situation currently unfolding in his room. I groaned, pulling my pillow over my head and covering my ears.

It would be almost impossible to sleep now with that thought in my head. I curled my legs up into my chest and just laid like that until I feel asleep once more. If not out of exhaustion than out of sheer want to make the noises stop.

It was early the next morning and I was already up, having woken up several times throughout the night. I assumed RJ and Selena must be out walking the Dog. His door was left open and neither of them where inside, nor in the kitchen. Which I was glad for, I didn’t like having that thing in the house.

Sure it was cute, but that dog could tear me to shreds if it wanted to. And I never wanted to get close enough to find out if it liked me or not. Mama and Spaulding were in the kitchen however.

“Morning sunshine, get any sleep last night?” Cap asked me, sipping his coffee.

I shrugged, grabbing my cup that was always left down from the cabinet so I could reach it. I poured myself a glass of juice and hopped up on the counter.

“Having a good morning?” I asked lazily.

“It’s certainly morning.” He responded.

“Need any help down at the store today?”

I wanted an excuse to be out of the house. But sadly, no such excuse came.

“It’s just stock day, but if you wanna help at the odd shop later tonight, I could use a stage assistant.” He grinned.

I smiled happily into my cup. Spaulding always had a crazy scheme doing on in that bald head of his. I sometimes thought that if he had hair, all his ideas would be blocked. That’s how it felt for me sometimes. And on those days it helped to tie my hair up.

“What kind of act?” I asked.

He tapped the pull saw on the table with a smirk and my grin matched his. Ahh yes, the classic sawing your assistant in half. I imagine he picked it cause we had some fresh innards from our catch yesterday. The audience would have no idea how “real” the special effects were for the show. And that was the best part.

A magicians job was to wow the audience, keep their attention. But the assistants job was to distract them. It was like two people competing for the lead. And the audience had no idea they were playing right into your hand. Looking only where you wanted them to, seeing only what you wanted to.

I was good at keeping peoples attention, just as easily as I could disappear. People stared or ignored me, wether I liked it or not. But when I could control it, boy was that a feeling. Puppeteering the audience was a high you couldn’t quite recreate.

“I’ll be there.” I said.

He gave me a small smile before mama finally spoke up for the day.

“Need any help with your look kid? Baby took Manon to the city today for some shopping…”

“Sure Mama, I would love that.” I said.

The air in the room was comfortable until a certain white haired man walked in. I kept my head down at the table, this was one of those moments that despite my best efforts, I couldn’t just make myself not exist.

“Morning Mama, Spaulding-“ he greeted as he went to the fridge and poured himself a glass of milk.

I cringed internally. How he and RJ could just drink plain cows milk was beside me. I giggled slightly under my breath, noting my disgust at that, but not witnessing RJ bash someone’s face on the dinner table last night. Manon would be proud of me for getting out all the blood stains on the kitchen.

It wasn’t her I was mad at. That wouldn’t be fair. Her only fault is having emotions. But I wanted her to be happy. Of course, I wanted Otis to be happy too. But I couldn’t just forgive him for this so easily. I knew it was only a anger of seconds before he finally greeted me, and I didn’t want to hear it. So I quickly got up from my seat, trying to flee the room.

I spun around on my heel when a wrist caught mine in the hallway. Normally I had more tact, but right now I was in no mood to struggle with reigning in my emotions.

“Don’t touch me right now-“ I said lowly, glaring up at my father figure.

He raised an amused bro at me, but made now attempt to drop my arm.

“You’re avoiding me kid-“

“Don’t call me that right now!” I seethed a little louder.

He finally seemed to understand I wasn’t joking around. He dropped my arm but made no attempt to move or step back to give me some space. So I took a few steps back for him, afraid if I didn’t I’d lash out and hit him.

I could feel a meltdown coming and I really didn’t want to deal with that today. It was stupid to be getting this upset, but he hurt me. I was sick of just letting people hurt me.

“Blinky?” He asked a little softer.

It was rare to see Otis Driftwood be nice, let alone soft. It was like his antithesis. I groaned under my breath, grabbing his arm this time and dragging him upstairs to my room. I closed the door, and we just stood there in silence for a second.

“You’re breathing too heavy, slow down a bit-“ he offered.

“I know how to breath idiot! I don’t need your help!” I spat.

He just sighed, leaning against my dresser. I took a few deep breaths, him not daring to say anything else.

“You left…” I said softly, just barely above a whisper.

“What?” He asked.

I had to admit, despite how mad I was right now. It was still calming to hear his voice. See him. Having felt Jim to prove he was real and I wasn’t still sleeping.

“You went away and you didn’t tell anyone where you were going… when you’d be back-“ I hung my head.

Ashamed that all this anger wasn’t really fair to him. This was my issue. He shouldn’t have to cater to it, so why did I want him to? Why did I desperately crave it? That normal type of relationship a child should have with their father.

And that’s what he was. I’d accepted that in my heart only a few months after I got here. It was the relationship that made sense. Benefited both of us in very different ways. Something we both craved desperately. He too hung his head, a rare moment where it seemed like Otis Driftwood was at a loss for words.

Our family didn’t really do apologises. It wasn’t in their nature. And I’d be foolish to expect one. But it was even more foolish to underestimate Otis.

“I’m sorry Kid, I wasn’t thinking.” He said.

It sounded angry, like he was upset with himself. Which only served to make me feel worse. Revenge felt nice, sure, but hurting the people you cared about didn’t.

“I didn’t mean to ruin your mood-“ I offered quickly.

He held up a hand to stop me.

“You’re not in charge of my feelings kid. Just like I’m not in charge of yours.”

I nodded simply.

“I wasn’t gonna leave you.” He spoke up after an uncomftqbly long silence.

“I didn’t know that…”

I sighed, throwing myself back down onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling.

“I heard yelling so I came to check it out. And then you stormed off and didn’t come back for a whole day. A whole day-“

“I needed some time.”

“And that’s fine. But you could have said something. Anything… even Manon didn’t know if you were coming home. You know she cried?”

I asked, finally looking up at him for the first time in half an hour. His face looked tried, but it was scrunched up in that way where he was thinking. It was hardly a good thing for anyone involved when Otis and Baby where thinking. I sighed.

“I’m tired of people leaving me…” I admitted.

Otis tried to speak but I cut him off. I wanted to finish my thought it it would go unspoken seemingly forever.

“No. I’m not finished.”

He closed his mouth, letting me speak.

“And I’m tried of being everyone’s second choice. Selena has RJ, Mama has Spaulding, Baby has you and you have… Doe-“

I fidgeted with my fingers, letting out a laugh that was more like a scoff.

“And when you went to her first yesterday. That hurt me. A lot.”

My words just kinda fizzled out after that. I lifted my head off the bed too look at Otis who was being scarily quiet. If I’d been anyone else, I’m sure I would have been dead for talking to him like that. Cutting him off. But that was oddly reassuring, it let me know that even if we weren’t great at this exact moment, some part of him did genuinely care.

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

I said, sitting up and staring at him intensely.

“Wouldn’t dream of it kid-“ he finally said.

He sat down at the edge of the bed. Something that would seem natural to a normal father, but was award for Otis.

“I didn’t know you felt that way.” He said.

He seemed to bite off the second part of his sentence, whatever word were on his tongue being shoved down.

“You didn’t ask.”

I shrugged.

“Nobody ever does.”

I placed a hand on his in a reassuring manner.

“It’s fine, I’ll get over it. This is my issue-“

It was Otis’s turn to cut me off this time.

“As fucked up as we all are kid. This is still a family Blinky, you’re family. And as much of an asshole as I am-“

“I know.” I said softly.

I wasn’t gonna make him say it. “I care.” Was a hard phrase to say around these parts.

“You ain’t mad about Doe and I?” He asked Hopfully.

“Oh, I’m furious about that. You don’t treat her right. But I’m assuming you’ll change that after this conversation-“

He knew what that tone meant. He’d heard me use it before with my mother.

“You’re right. I ain’t being fair to her.” He sighed. “She just drives me insane-“ he admitted.

I couldn’t help but grin at that. It was kinda cute. The way I felt about my Macy. Another thing they never asked about. And maybe I was content to keep that my secret a little longer.

“Women.” I said simply.

Throwing myself back down on my bed and laughing. Otis leaned down on the bed too, the two of us just staring at the ceiling.

“Wanna get high dad?” I asked, turning my head to him.

He smiled lazily, his teeth somehow still menacing.

“Now that sounds like the best idea you’ve had all morning kid.”

An: I just wanted to start with a shorter piece that seemed less daunting to write. So this takes place after Otis comes home after storming off. I wanted to show more of a soft side to Otis. And more of Blinky when they aren’t masking. Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it took so long to write👍 but I’m getting back it not the swing of things!

Tag: @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @myers-meadow-selfship @queer-and-utter-chaos

#Blinky #blinky firefly #otis driftwood x reader #otis driftwood #house of 1000 corpses au #manon driftwood #doe eyes #doe eyes driftwood #fang writes

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arthrobug · 1 year ago

Text

Okay so here's the context

Ish's newest Civilisation Event was announced in his Discord, and I badly wanted in, a week later I actually got in against all odds

Quick thing, both me AND my mother were insanely excited and started screaming when I got accepted and she would check up on me every day asking if I had gotten in

This event is meant to be a SOCIAL, ROLEPLAYING, MINECRAFT EXPERIMENT, aka you're supposed to have fun, realize it's a game, and be kind to people

First few days were calm I'd say, sometimes boring as hell, but calm

Then my mother was admitted into the ER three times in one week, and even right now she's still in the hospital for three days straight.

It was Day Five of the event when she first went in, and I was really worried about my mom, and some stuff about me:

1. I'm kinda dumb and I get even dumber when I'm thinking about other things and I'm worried

2. I'm bad at english even though it's my native language

3. I have REALLY bad social anxiety, and it gets worse when I'm nervous or I don't know people... Surprise surprise

The leader of the civilization I had regretted joining (because there are two islands and I wanted to join the absolute hellscape island but my old group is honestly just a bunch of angry cowards and wanted to join the paradise island, not being nice) had announced in the Discord there was going to be a meeting in the city hall in regard to the recent assassinations, and the group I was a part of was going to stay by the front stairs to guard it, but my dumb brain was on

Before I joined the day by the way, I was having a really bad feeling and didn't feel like playing, but I ignored it cuz I wanted to know what was going on (curiosity killed the cat lol)

I thought "I should patrol around the area before waiting by the stairs to make sure no one's trying to break in or talkin nefarious plans!"

Then I faintly heard one of the council members talking about how they're nervous to be killed, and how someone was apparently holding a sword inside

I'm autistic and don't get jokes,,,,,, and my dumb brain was on

So I started digging around the area, really close to the hall, looking around the area before the meeting started, listening to the council, and since I didn't want to get seen, I was crouching

I got a text on my phone so I left the hole I made to check it, and apparently some guy saw me go back in crouching

He took this as "oh my god someone's trying to break into the city hall"

I occasionally heard some digging around me after that, but I took it as some other people doing the same as me, and I was busy checking my phone

I eventually left the hole, and apparently he might've been trying to get my attention while I was walking away? But another thing about me is that I'm Hard of Hearing and this is voice chat in a video game and I'm very distracted

Eventually after checking and texting my mom, making sure she's okay and everything, I go wait by the stairs for a bit

I'm honestly admiring the build before I'm suddenly attacked by a screaming guy with an axe and everyone panics

He immediately starts yelling out "GET THE FUCK BACK YOU FUCKER, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCK" like way unnecessarily aggresively

Everyone's asking what's going on, and he says "this fucker/piece of shit (I was disoriented and confused don't know exactly) was trying to break into the city hall!" And I was too scared and confused to say anything disputing that at that very moment so I just walked away

I walk away further, already crying a little cuz well I'm an autistic minor that has their dying mom on their mind and well that was the breaking point, when some other guy comes over, and asks where the lumber yard was. I try to help him, and I actually do calm down a little from this short interaction, B U T

THE FIRST GUY EVENTUALLY CHASES ME DOWN AND CONTINUES SWEARING AND ACCUSING ME OF TRYING TO BREAK IN

Then the second guy stood behind me while rooting on the first, (I will admit the second guy was acting less douchy though) and the first guy kept cutting me off, and I know for a fact at one point I accidentally left my mic on while I sobbed for a moment

When you hear someone crying this bad, YOU DON'T CONTINUE TO BERATE AND THREATEN THEM, you stop and ask them if they're okay and if you're going too far

Yeah that guy didn't give two shits, fuckin jackass

He twists my words around as I'm fumbling, until at one point I'm just silent because I don't know what to do

Then the second guy says something about the back of my skin...? (My skin is something I call 'Golden Tarantula', I customized my regular one just for the event)

They start laughing, while one of them says something about how one of my eyes is bigger than the other

I say "huh?" because I'm understandably confused where they making fun of my skin all of a sudden, and the first guy changes his demeanor back to 'piece of shit' and tells me to 'stay the fuck away from city hall or you get no warning' (what warning by the way?- he was just screaming and accusing me of stuff)

They leave and I genuinely sit in that one spot, sobbing and screaming and pacing for a solid 40 minutes, begging for my mom to be okay and considering if I should just kill my character to stop playing (I indeed was that panicked)

I had a soda, and after I had calmed down for a moment, I took a swig, when I suddenly had another sob in my throat and I instantly felt the very real urge to vomit, I have no clue how I kept it down

I continued crying in spurts for the -I'm not joking, I checked- next SEVEN HOURS.

My sibling suggested I report the guy, but being socially inept, I didn't and still don't know if I would be listened to, since later that day I saw more jerks telling someone in chat that if they didn't shut up they would kill them

The next day was a build day and I didn't join, fuck that. I was so scared of running into that guy again that I put an announcement in the Discord chat that I had a medical emergency and I couldn't deal with the rude people anymore (I actually saw earlier in the chat a leader of a group calling out some people making fun of their people and build)

Everyone was luckily kind and supportive, wishing well for my mother (she's not as bad as she was a few days ago by the way)

Everyone else I had run into that day (three other people) were all luckily kind and soft spoken, and I don't know if that was just them or they could tell I wasn't doing so good

I had run away to other settlement to maybe restart and stay as far as I could from that guy and that civilization, when the second guy I ran into and hat a chat with decided to to contact the leader of the civilization I had ran from to 'check if I was a criminal'

I was nervous, but I knew that if she did dub me as a wrong-doer I could just continue running. She didn't though! She didn't? I would think that guy (who said he was the council member representing the resource district) would've reported me, but he didn't...??

I think he said she told him she had no clue what was going on, and I told him I was just going to continue traveling, since the first guy I ran into was also visiting and had told me his civilisation was building a bridge between islands and I wanted to get the fuck outta my island lmao

The day after the build day, yesterday, the leader of my old civilisation announced a few things, but one caught my eye

"____ has stepped down from his position as the Resource District manager. The position is open, etc etc"

He stepped down?? That cocky bastard????

So, I've naturally assumed he got in trouble of some kind cuz that's too weird for my taste lmao

That's what happened for anyone that wanted context! The event is still going on, hope nothing else wacky happens lmao, if this is confusing to read sorry I just woke up and I gotta get ready to visit my mum at the hospitalll, have a nice day/night everyone 👍

I really hate toxic gamers who find making other people cry and almost vomit fun

#i try to be nice to whoever I can but fuck that guy #bugbrain #arthrobug #bugbrain bumblings #minecraft #civilisation event #or is it civilization event?#um #civilization event #as said I dont know english very well lol #ish #minecraft roleplay #yeah so this isnt turning out to be a fun event lmao #by the way even if you catch someone being nefarious in a roleplay you DO NOT talk to someone that way oh my god

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meow-town · 2 years ago

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Hello~ I just found your blog and I was wondering if you could write a headcanon about dee having a twin sister, and what the rest of the family's intentions would be with her, this one wouldn't be as feminine but more than Vicky, at least thanks to glam .

(sorry if my grammar is a bit weird, english is not my first language)

Of course! Ty for requesting! (Ps, my device completely died on me the second I finished writing this, and I hadn’t saved since I started, and I lost everything :) yayyyyyyyyyy, remember to save each post regularly, kids!)

wrote this as a self insert!

-You we’re born a mere 4 seconds after Dee, and he’s still insists he’s the older sibling. Which is technically true, but he abuses that power so much!

-saying that he should be in charge whenever the parents leave the house because he’s older, or insisting that he’s the more responsible and mature.

-You have more musical talent than him though, so he can suck it.

-He gets so pissy over it, too. You could mumble a song that’s been stuck in your head recently and he’ll ‘tsk’ each time.

-Very good twin brother, however. He’ll help with homework and always put in effort in group projects (I mean, he doesn’t need to put in effort, he’s Dee, but yknow). Teachers nearly always pair you two up together. He’ll also tutor you in his free time if you ask him :)

-If anyone picks on you, Dee will stalk them on the internet for weeks just to ruin their lives. He’s not letting that shit slide.

-Glam and Victoria always tried their very best to be good parents. They never got physically punishing (except for the occasional playful punch from Vicky as a warning) and would parent as gently as they could, at least, from Glam. He’s had bad experiences in the past and doesn’t want you to go through that things he went through.

-Glam will flash his creepy stare sometimes as a way to intimidate you, but he doesn’t dare go any further than that to scare you. Victoria may seem super tough but to me she seems like she is a super protective mama bear who will tug you into her arms if you arrive home 5 minutes late. God forbid you don’t respond to one of her calls, or you’ll have thousands of other calls and texts. Your phone will absolutely blow up with texts like these.

‘Are you okay??’

‘Where are you??.?.+’

‘Come home’

‘(y/n)’

-The first time Hevay came home in his little baby basket, Dee was staring absolute daggers into him. Looking at the guy like he wanted to strangle him. Heavy just grabbed at anything he could, wrapped in Victoria’s old bandana.

-Dee would snatch his toys away from Heavy, so you had to offer him yours constantly.

-Heavy was a rowdy baby, not the type to cry constantly, but he wasn’t ever quiet and still. He’d be jumping up and down or head banging (Victoria taught him how to) almost constantly. -Heavy will send you cat videos every literal four seconds and if you don’t respond to each of them he’ll get mad.

-He is the chaos child in the family, but he’s highkey the nicest so

-Teasing Dee about Lif is literally so funny 😭

-He’ll go all red and completely ignore you for hours on end if you keep it up-

-Ches was completely clueless while babysitting. He would frantically look through the pantry thinking ‘what the fuck do babies eat? Carrots? Granola bars? Can I feed them beer?’

-He’ll also accidentally swear on front of you a ton, and pretend like he’s not at fault when one of you yells ‘FUCK’ at the very top of your lungs.

-You, Dee and Heavy all developed your swearing thanks to Vicky and Ches-

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maxwell-grant · 4 years ago

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Who's your favorite Batman villain?

The Penguin. Was gonna put off this ask for a bit but I got surprised today with an incredible rendition of him, so now the dastardly bumbershoot waddled and squawked his way into my thoughts again and I gotta talk about him.

Penguin's not just my favorite Batman villain, he's my favorite DC character and comic book supervillain, the main reason I even want to write a Batman story someday.

I love the imagery that surrounds him, the trick umbrellas and the birds he so lovely dotes after and the WAKs and the Iceberg Lounge, which has become maligned in recent years as a sign of his downfall, but I very much appreciate as a concept in general still. I love a lot of the performances and actors who've taken him over the years. Burgess Meredith and Danny DeVito are some of my favorite performers of all time, Paul Williams has a wonderful voice and starred in my favorite film of all time. Tom Kenny, David Ogden Stiers, Robin Lord Taylor, Penguin's just had such great, terrific performances and adaptations. Batman Returns is my favorite Batman film by far and it was what got me to start paying more attention to Oswald.

I love the roles he can play in any given Batman story and how he's managed to endure all of his falls from grace by becoming an indispensable part of Batman's worldbuilding. I love his varied dynamics with Batman and Riddler and Catwoman and Gordon and his henchmen and those who get close to him. I love his style and the way he conducts himself when he's allowed to be more than just a generic mob boss. Penguin's design has, by simply staying unchanged over the decades, gone from "common rich person wear draped over a funny cartoon gangster" to "he is so out of touch and desperate for respectability that he dresses like an 1930s capitalist caricature, like a little kid's idea of what a rich and respectable man looks like, and Penguin's still stuck in that mindset". I love how absurd and plausible he is.

I like that Penguin can very easily fit just about any kind of Batman story, from the campy supervillain plots to the gritty urban crime ones. You can tell stories about Penguin falling in love, pretending to be legit because he doesn't want his aunt to learn he's a criminal, and opening up a comedy act with a talking penguin, or stories about Penguin terrorizing the city with giant robots and guided missiles and driving people to suicide. I like that he's a character who both relishes in his lifestyles of supervillain and crimelord alike, and yet is perpetually restless because the minute he acquires what he wants, he immediately starts wanting something else. He could have Batman and the Batfamily and all other supervillains wiped out and have Gotham in his pocket and maybe even become President of the United States, and he'd still want more. Because Oswald is nothing but wants, the wants of a traumatized manchild in a funny costume throwing money and toys and brute force and tantrums at the world until it makes sense, which only makes him far too fitting as a Batman villain.

Everyone forgets that Penguin was canonically the first villain to ever successfully escape Batman at the end of a story, completely bypassing the usual "villain swears revenge behind bars" ending to instead escape scot-free, and went on to establish himself as one of his biggest, most inventive and most cunning villains, second only, if not equal, to Joker. I love that he's ruthless and inventive and classy and cunning and brutal and how his main trick is using the fact that everyone underestimates the short fat man to his advantage. He's taken traits that got many of us in real life relentlessly tormented for them, and he uses them to pull the wool over those who think they are better than him.

It'ss a trick that works because even in real life people can't stop looking at this weird and silly little man and think "that guy's too silly for a Batman villain, he's not a murder clown or musclebound monster, what's he gonna do" and, yeah, that's the point, that's been the point from day one, he doesn't look scary or intimidating or even that evil, and he's the guy who pulls the rug under supergenius fighting machine Batman and becomes the top crimelord of Gotham City, a city ruled by terrors and manias and monsters infinitely bigger and scarier and stronger than he is, and he STILL made it to the top and he STILL maintains it, time and time again even when newer and flashier and scarier villains come and go. Batman is, at it's core, a fundamentally absurd character, and Penguin acts as a reminder of that. Because the minute we accept a man can terraform himself with training and money into a living legend on the level of gods, there's no reason why a tiny fat man with similar drive and resources can't likewise throw his weight with monsters and warriors far above his station.

Despite how ridiculously often he's disrespected by writers and fans alike, how far he's fallen off his former position in Batman's Rogues Gallery, and how often he's used as just a punching bag for assorted Bat-people, Penguin never goes away. He's the biggest survivor of all of Batman's villains, more so than the genuinely immortal ones, because he's the cockroach that won't go away no matter how many times you flush it.

Because once you get past the piles of money and the lounge fortresses and the armies of goons and the piles of cartoony gadget toys not too dissimilar from Batman's own, what the Penguin has is brains, and spite and hatred on a scale no other Batman villain has. He hates Batman, because Batman is nothing but yet another bully who thinks he can push Oswald around just because he's bigger and stronger. He hates the lower class for it's unsophisticated brutes and boors that made his childhood hell. He hates the upper class that's rejected and also tormented him since infancy, that he desperately spent so long trying to be a part of. He hates the monsters and supervillains he works with and has to associate with to stay alive. He hates the city that he fights to rule over tooth and nail.

And although he may never admit it, he hates himself, because he'a short paunchy man with a beakish nose who's brutal and immoral not just because those are the cards life dealt him, but because he likes what it affords him too much to give it away. Because he's never going to have the love and acceptance he desperately craves, he will never be able to accept it or keep it. Because he can never fully be a gentleman, or a monster, but instead a sad mix who belongs in neither of their worlds. Because at the end, he doesn't look like anyone else. He looks like one of him.

And still, I like Penguin because he's a Gentleman Villain. The one Gentleman Villain of Batman's rogues gallery, even if that's faded from a lot of his recent appearences that pushed the crimelord aspects to the forefront. He dresses like a gentleman thief, he's canonically a huge A.J Raffles fan, he's one of the most cunning brains of Gotham, he's got the money, resources, and adventurous spirit. Problem is, he's The Penguin. And suddenly, all that he has becomes overblown, outlandish, theatrical, and out of touch purely because it's him trying to do all those things. He's a gentleman adventurer gone rogue, the Count Fosco of the DCU, and that only makes it amusing, even endearing, when Penguin does engage in the swashbuckling antics he's so fond of.

When all his plans go to hell and so he starts fencing Batman, or when he commands henchmen with superflous fancy language, or even when Oswald gives the whole "hero" thing a shot and we see he's actually not bad at it, maybe he actually could have been one if it wasn't for the bile drowning his heart and the hellscape that warped innocent young Cobblepot into Gotham's Penguin, a name that immediately denotes something silly and ridiculous, and he carries it with pride, because he will make you respect that name.

And that's just a couple of reasons. I really, really love this character to the point of obsession and the main reason why I ever wanted to write stories for DC was to get to write Penguin and at least try to do the character a little more justice. But if nothing else, Penguin endures, regardless of what happens to him, in and out of universe. If nothing else, that's a very admirable quality in a supervillain. Oswald is the best.

#replies tag #comic books #batman #batman villains #the penguin #oswald cobblepot

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lunaastoir · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! I really enjoy your writing so is it alright if i request xiao, diluc, childe with an idol s/o where one of their old stalkers come back or they just recently had a stalker in general but with how busy they were since they’re an idol they don’t even notice? And something bad happens (i cant think of anything</3) Thank you very much !!

hi anon!! a million apologies since this is so late but i hope you like the fic <3

there also aren’t any explicit details for anything bad happening - i briefly touched on subjects that you may not have control over, i hope that’s ok!

warning (?): struggled a bit on this prompt so i apologize in advance if this isn’t my best work LMAOO

gn! reader

tw: hints of assault, slight angst, very light abuse if you squint

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xiao

now xiao is a very observant man but he's also extremely busy keeping liyue safe

he makes it a point to always come to your shows even if you don't actively see him bc he cares a lot abt you and he enjoys listening to your music ‼️

it's normal for him to sometimes get lost between his own world of demonslaying and the world he shares w you

so one night, he's hanging on the rafters of a house with the perfect view of your singing

everything goes smoothly, he sets his spear down while lightly swaying his head to the music

the concert ends and fans disperse after you say your farewells

a night like this is rare since for once, xiao can walk home w you back to the inn sweet boy really cleared out his schedule for you huh

you're unsurprised when you see him materialize next to you, opting to flash him a smile and a hello

his cheeks are lightly flushed as he crosses his arms before talking quietly about how well you did

he relishes in the wide smile you give him as a result of his praise and he lets the corners of his lips curve upwards slightly

the quiet bustle of the harbor seemed to slow down as the night grew longer

since this was a fairly large concert, you had boxes among boxes of equipment so xiao decided to make your life easier by quickly flying them to their appropriate locations

when he got back however, he was surprised to see you talking animatedly with someone

he didn't think anything was wrong until he saw the person trap you between the stage and words filtered into his ears

your back was painfully pressed against the stage wall as you defiantly met their gaze. after xiao had left, they had immediately come over to you: first introducing themselves as a fan and making amiable conversation, before divulging in personal details of your life that made your skin crawl. you weren’t helpless, you always had your weapon on hand regardless of whether you were performing or not. the way they pushed you against the wall however, made it near impossible to summon your sword should you need it.

they leered down at you while balancing an arm against the wall next to your head. you had dealt with things like this before so you weren’t overly worried; you could defend yourself. you almost felt pity for the person in front of you as they asked for your number with a sadistic grin, disgusting words tumbling off of their lips. however, that was before you felt their cold fingers idly make their way to your stomach and you felt your breath hitch. oh no

the telltale sound of whooshing alerted you of xiao’s presence, and the press of the tip of his spear against their jugular brought you relief.

“back away” he tightly growled while his golden eyes narrowed into slits. they stared at him in shock before holding their hands up and moving to step a foot away from you.

“farther” he motioned with his spear before stepping in front of you as you attempted to collect yourself.

“ok ok, i’m far away can you put your spear down now?”

“no.”

you mentally cursed as you watched the two of them glare at each other. this was supposed to be a carefree night but this unfortunate twist made the air thick with tension. you could feel the anger radiate off of xiao in waves and in an effort to deescalate the situation, you spoke.

“i’m glad to meet such an...avid fan but i’m sorry the two of us must get going now” you hastily said before attempting to grab xiao’s hand and walk off past them.

the next words had you halt your steps as they divulged their secret.

words painted in careless arrogance with hints of violet overconfidence flew out of the person’s mouth - “judging from the weeks i’ve been following you, it didn’t seem like you had a boyfriend”

at the mere mention of prolonged stalking, xiao immediately lunged to pull you behind him. god, he didn’t kill mortals but he swore if he plunged his spear into this human being right here, no one would even blink twice considering how low of a person they were.

“if i ever see you near them again, i will not hesitate to kill you. i won’t blink twice, i already have blood on my hands.” he ground out.

at the threat, the person grudgingly turned their back to you before leaving the two of you alone in the quiet harbor.

you carefully reached a hand out to touch your boyfriend’s shoulder, but stopped after you saw the expression on his face. the mix of rage, sadness, and anguish imprinted his features as you watched his chest rapidly rise and fall - a result of his emotional battle.

“i’m sorry i didn’t notice them before. i should’ve been paying more attention to you” he whispered before silently striding away from your grasp

you knew that no matter how many reassurances you gave him about how, “it’s not your fault xiao, i didn’t notice them either” he would still blame himself.

he was supposed to protect you right? so why couldn’t he sense the danger beforehand? what would’ve happened if he wasn’t there?

it’s still a learning process for him to realize that things happen, and he inevitably couldn’t be there to save you from everything. he needs time to understand and adjust. you’re willing to wait, patiently helping him through it. why? because love is worth it.

god im sorry this ended up kinda sad whoops

diluc

i swear everytime i say i’m a childe simp diluc kinda wrecks me

ahem anyways onto the hc!

he’s kinda never around but similar to xiao he will overwork himself to clear out an hour or two just to watch your concerts

he’ll always stand off to the side too so if you tilt your head while you’re singing you can spy his red hair

you always flash him the sweetest smile and this man blushes like CRAZY before quickly lifting his hand up to give you a thumbs up

everyone watching the both of you like 😍😦

people think it’s the cutest thing i swear like c’mon the elusive “bachelor of mondstadt” being seen in public supporting you??? wow pls can we share him

he walks with you back to the winery, the entire time linking his hands with yours while gushing about your performance

1939248/10 it’s literally the sweetest thing

the next day however, adelinde brings you a pink letter addressed to you

he doesn’t pry because it’s addressed to you and it’s your business but as the letters start coming by everyday, he starts to grow curious

one day he straight up just asks you about it

“hey, you know those pink letters you keep getting? who are they from?”

you laugh slightly at his bashfulness and respond with a “just some overexcited fan” and he smiles before kissing your forehead

he loves that people are noticing your talent

loves it! until you get stalked by the same person who wrote you those letters while you were shopping!

diluc knows something’s wrong when you rush into angel’s share panicked after not returning his usual smile.

“darling? are you ok?” he asks worriedly before quickly setting down the glass he was cleaning to move towards you.

the widening of your eyes as you looked behind you at the sounds of someone else entering was all he needed to swiftly step in front of you, blocking their gaze of your face.

the slightly panicked look in your eyes before you hurriedly whispered, “they’re following me” made diluc glance at them subtly out of the corner of his eye. he watched as they walked over to find a seat next to the bar, seemingly ready to order a drink. he quietly asked if you would like to sit in the room reserved for the employees, away from their prying eyes. your hasty nod was all the confirmation he needed for him to let you access the door behind him.

the night went by fairly smoothly with kaeya’s usual teasing and venti’s usual begging for alcohol. diluc’s eyes narrowed however, when the person seemed to ask him questions regarding you. things like, “i heard you’re dating y/n... they’re amazing, how long have you been together?” and “do they live with you at dawn winery?” diluc answered these questions as short as he could, trying to convey with his body language that he truly did not want to talk to them.

everything was going well until he made the mistake of leaving the bar unattended. he had briefly forgotten about your residence in the room behind him as his mind immediately gravitated to breaking up a brawl. when he returned, the half drunk glass of liquor combined with the person’s absence from their seat, caused sparks of worry to light up inside his chest.

turning to the door, he knocked once.

“is everything alright in there love?”

the sounds of things rustling about and the occasional muffled voice had him opening the door quickly. he saw you with your arm being held tightly in their grasp, your mouth muffled with their hand, while you strained against them by pulling at your arm.

diluc immediately made his way over to you, quickly pulling your arm away before letting you enter into his embrace.

“get out.” the venomous words clawed their way out of his throat as he looked at them with eyes that screamed hatred. his blood was boiling as his mind replayed the scene; your scared expression and their greedy eyes.

diluc didn’t need to repeat himself twice as they ran out, trying not to trip over crates of wine. he made a mental note to find out who they were in order to make sure they never came near you ever again.

he quickly looked down at your form, relaxing slightly at the sight of your tentative smile. “my knight in shining armor” you joked before softly nuzzling your head into his shoulder. the anger had yet to dissipate from his veins, and although he knew you were still shaken up, he was sure you would be fine.

a pink letter placed on the table next to you caught his eye, and he made sure to quickly pocket it as he led you out, gently jesting with you about the “unnecessary amount of wine barrels in here, diluc this is a safety hazard!”

he would deal with this person later.

childe

ayo AYO ITS THE TOY SALESMAN

ok tbh he’s very rarely around so he unfortunately cannot make it to all of your shows

dw tho, he will try his hardest to be there for the ones he’s in town for bc what is he if not your number one hype king???

ok kinda creepy! alert

he’s tasked two of his subordinates to keep watch over you whenever he’s out of the harbor

it’s not anything creepy,,, he just gets extremely worried abt you and wants to make sure you’re safe

sO when he gets a ransom note??? he’s understandably confused but also very much freaked out

bc did they not know who he was??? the fact that they thought they could get away with holding you captive was quite honestly kind of funny to him

very stressed and angry tho - hides it behind a facade of smiles but he’s raging

takes him only a few hours to track you down bc he had everyone and i mean EVERYONE looking for you

the note crunched in his hand as the harbinger made his way towards windrise. his pace was erratic, long legs rushing towards the small cave his agents had found. they were bordering the perimeter of the enclosure, careful to not alert you or your captor of their presence. childe’s subordinate head had calmly stated that childe need not come out to rescue you, the situation was under control and they could do it for him. however, childe’s sharp gaze along with his sickly sweet words of “thanks but no. i’m coming out to see this sorry asshole for myself” had the agent backing away apologizing. he wanted to see the look on this person’s face before he shoved their sorry ass into the abyss himself.

as he reached the opening of the cave, he glanced over his shoulder at his head agent; a silent warning to keep the area sealed. his blue eyes glinted with a thirst for blood before making his way into the cave, sealing off the exit with his body.

“well well, playing games with the love of my life are we?”

his teasing words reached your ears as your eyes immediately found the face of your boyfriend. you weren’t horribly scared, just a little shaken up and sore from the bindings on your wrists. relief coursed through your body at the sight of him. you needn’t put in your plan of getting out of these bindings to fight your captor yourself anymore.

childe’s eyes quickly scanned over your frame, making sure you weren’t hurt. at the state of you completely unharmed, the harbinger let his heart calm down slightly. you were completely ok.

“wait a little longer, love? i promise this will be over soon”

the wink he sent you had you lightly rolling your eyes at his antics before he directed his attention back to your kidnapper. if your captor wasn’t scared before, they were certainly shaking in their boots now at the sight of childe’s twin hydro blades rotating playfully in his hands.

“listen, all i want is the money-”

“and all i want is your head”

your boyfriend smiled after cutting them off. the severity of the situation truly seemed to sink in at that moment before pleas of mercy fell from your captor’s lips, desperate to escape the bloodthirsty gaze of the harbinger. childe’s eyes flickered over to yours where you sat there, with your head ferociously shaking. a silent “no.” he sighed before swiftly bringing his arm up to hit your captor on the head, effectively knocking them out cold.

his hands worked at the ropes holding you and he gingerly rubbed at your bruised wrists. you silently thanked the archons he could never say no to you. archons forbid what would've happened if you hadn’t said anything. while you were explaining what happened, the young man quickly scooped you up in his arms before walking out of the cave.

you playfully hit his shoulder while muttering “drama queen” but you stopped when you saw his face morph into an expression of seriousness. you had informed him on the situation about your captor revealing themselves to be a recent stalker of yours, completely oblivious to the look of frustration on his face as he freed you from your bondages.

“i was scared you know.” he quietly divulged. “i knew that it wasn’t anything extremely serious but i... i was still scared”

you swore as you looked at him in that moment, he had turned ten again. the youth of his face betraying his vulnerability.

you quietly hummed before tangling your fingers in his hair. “i hope you know it wasn’t your fault. it wasn’t anyone’s fault. not even the two fatui agents who you sent to stalk me while you were away.”

he quietly laughed at that before mentally filing away a reminder for a lecture to those two agents in the near future.

“i’m just glad you’re safe. i know you can save yourself but i’ll always be here. i still wish you would let me take care of your asshole kidnapper myself though.” he pouted jokingly.

“i’m sure the millelith will lock them up for a long time.” you laughed sweetly.

his usual smile reappeared at your antics. maybe he didn’t get to beat your captor up and do...much worse. however at the end of the day, your smile was still intact regardless of what happened. that’s all he wanted.

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kimvvantae · 4 years ago

Text

puzzle; 8 (FINAL)

➜ you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex

rating: 18+

word count: 16k

A/N: finally the last chapter! i am actually feeling very emotional right now. i enjoyed writing puzzle so much and it received so much love since the beginning! your feedback always kept me motivated to write. thank you so much to everyone that followed these two dorks and waited patiently for every update. i hope we can meet again in future works!

hmmm, a little rec?? but i listened to sweet night by taehyung as i wrote this chapter. maybe listening to it will enhance your experience too!

enjoy!

➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

You don’t know how long it has been until Taehyung finds you.

It’s cold. The tears have finally come to a halt, but you’re still sobbing and sniffling. You should probably get up and go home. It’s late. Not safe to be alone on the street like this. You should probably call an uber or something.

Yet, every time you think of Jungkook’s tears, it seems that your own eyes well up with tears all over again.

What makes you snap back into reality is the sound of shoes walking down the stairs.

You get up in a jump, feeling your legs ache in the process, and turn around to see the person you least expected to see right now. Taehyung stops some steps ahead. The light pole behind him marks his silhouette with a halo.

“I finally found you,” he says after a few seconds. He sounds hesitant but somehow relieved.

It makes your heart clench even more.

You make an immense effort to speak, as if words ran over inside your throat and made it stuck. Well, they did, in a sense.

“Taehyung, w-what…?” is all you can stutter. You don’t really need to finish the sentence. What are you doing here? Why did you come after me even though I hurt you?

He looks down and caresses the back of his neck. You notice that he’s nervously fiddling with his car keys on the other hand. Oh. He probably didn’t want to be around you, either.

“Well, you ran away down the street like that. I got worried.”

You shouldn’t.

“It’s… not safe to be by yourself on the street like this. I’m taking you home.”

Please, don’t be kind to me.

It will be much harder if you’re being kind to me.

“Taehyung, I…” you feel yourself squeezing your purse against you, just as nervous as he is. You don’t want to bother him with your presence anymore. “I was about to call an uber. You don’t need to…”

“It’s alright. I’m already here anyway.” He starts to walk up the stairs again without looking back. Without giving you a chance to disagree. “Let’s go.”

It seems that your legs forgot how to walk as you watch him. You don’t want to get inside his car. You don’t want to face him, not right now.

When Taehyung reaches the top of the stair alley, he finally looks back at you in silence.

That’s when you realize that you have to face him. You were never one to run away from the consequences of your actions.

The newest consequence is staring back at you in quiet sadness.

You inhale deeply before going after him.

An awful silence hovers in the air during the entire ride home.

You can’t help but shrink on the passenger’s seat, hugging your own arms tight, your head leaning on the window. Taehyung does not make any attempt to engage a conversation. His presence is suffocating.

Something cold sets in your stomach when he parks the car in front of your apartment’s building. There’s nothing out there to distract you anymore. Nowhere else to run to.

You inhale again.

“Thank you.” you say softly.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything as he rests his hands on his lap. You watch him intently as he gulps, his eyes glued in something ahead.

“So.” He starts, his voice as low as yours. This is painful. It was never your intention to put him in that situation, never. “I don’t want to take a drunk man seriously.”

It’s your turn to gulp. You really really don’t want to explain everything to him in detail. “Mike is a son of a bitch. He got it all wrong.”

“It seems that he got one thing right, though. Judging by Jungkook’s reaction.”

It’s getting difficult to breathe again.

Taehyung turns his head slowly to look at you.

“Are you guys…?”

You honestly feel like jumping out the window, but your feelings for Taehyung make you stay still. He’s a kind friend. He deserves to hear it clearly.

So you take a deep breath before speaking.

“Jungkook and I, we… we were never a real thing. Not really.” It hurts to say this out loud. It seems that you can still hear his broken voice…

There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.

“B-But recently I realized that I have feelings for him.”

Taehyung nods slowly and sinks on the driver's seat. He rests his chin on his hand, letting a shaky deep breath out.

“Why did you call me today, then?”

“To tell you the truth.”

He gasps softly and shakes his head again. Taehyung has completely broken eye contact with you and his body language looks protective - building an almost visible wall between you and him in seconds.

“Wow. It seems that I was the one who got it all wrong.”

You feel like touching him to give him even a little bit of comfort, yet you know that you’re his main discomfort in the moment. You turn your body in his direction, pleading.

“Taehyung, it wasn’t meant to happen this way. I didn’t want to hurt you, not at all. I know that an apology won't be enough...”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He cuts you. His voice sounds strange, so different from how he has ever talked to you. He’s very quiet, but you can feel the anger and hurt lying underneath. “We never had anything anyway. I was the delusional one here.”

No, not again. You don’t think you can take more guilt for one night. You didn’t just delude him going on that date; you deluded him every time you talked, every time you texted each other. Taehyung saw something more when there was nothing at all - he felt something more, and you were too confused with your own feelings for Jungkook to notice what you were doing.

“Taehyung…”

“I’m feeling very ashamed right now.” He admits with a shaky exhale. “Could you…?”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know very well what he meant. Leave.

You nod and open the door into the cold night. You still stand there on the sidewalk hesitantly for a few seconds before whispering a shy “I’m sorry”. Taehyung doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look your way.

When you shut the door, you know very well that from now on, your friendship with Taehyung is also shut.

You’ll miss him really bad.

It feels like you can barely carry the weight of your own body as you slowly make your way to your apartment - which is weird, because you feel empty right now.

Your apartment isn’t as empty as you expected when you open the door, though. Seulgi is standing on the kitchen counter and she smiles wide when she sees you. She looks excited in a way she hasn’t been in months; it seems that she’s about to say something.

Her smile dies as she sees your puffy face and your red nose and eyes.

“Y/N, what happened…?”

For some reason, when you look at her, you start crying again.

Seulgi wides her eyes and runs to where you’re standing, shocked and confused - probably because you have never cried in front of her yet. Never.

“Oh my God, Y/N! What happened?!”

You can’t answer because the sobs won’t let you. You can just rest your face on Seulgi’s shoulder as she hugs you, patting your back. She is so confused that she can’t really think of anything else to do.

After a few minutes of restless crying, Seulgi manages to lead you to sit on the couch and runs back to the kitchen to take a glass of water. She sits by your side and hands you the glass, caressing your hair sweetly.

��Can you talk now, babe? What happened?” She asks again quietly as you try to drink a little bit of water.

You wipe the tears away once again and sniff. This place reminds you of him way too much. It feels that he belongs here, even though it’s not his home. And maybe… maybe he won’t ever step inside, ever again.

“I-It’s J-Jungkook.” it’s hard to speak between the sobs.

“Did you guys fight?” You nod weakly. “Was it that bad?”

Yes. Yes, it was.

After months of pretending, you finally open up to Seulgi. There’s no reason to keep this from her anymore. After Mike’s scandal, that’s probably everything the whole campus will be talking about in the next few days (you saw a lot of familiar faces at the bar).

It seems that Seulgi’s eyes will pop out of her face as you speak.

She stares at you, jaw dropped in pure shock.

“You and Jungkook what?!” is the first thing she exclaims. “Since when?!”

You rest your back on the couch and gaze at the ceiling. The sobs have finally stopped, at least. “Do you remember when I broke up with Mike? When we went to that club?”

“Yes, and you spent the night out…” Seulgi trails off as realization hits her. She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. “That guy you were talking about was Jungkook?!”

You just nod.

Seulgi gasps and rests her back on the couch right by your side, your arms touching. She’s speechless for a while.

“But, like… how many times?”

“I don’t know.” She gasps again.

“That many times?”

You nod. “It was almost daily at some point.”

It seems that she can’t close her jaw anymore. “Where?”

“Here. His apartment. His car.” You frown. “Sometimes a cheap hotel downtown, when you and Jimin were both home.”

Seulgi stays quiet for a little longer.

You side eye her. “You didn’t suspect?”

She shakes her head slowly. “I thought you guys were acting strange for a while now, but I never thought this was going on.” She looks back at you. “Did someone know?”

“Jimin caught us once.” you decide to omit where he caught you. It’s embarrassing to say that you fucked inside Joy’s bathroom out loud and it makes you feel even worse. “But he promised to not tell anyone."

Back to silence. You can almost hear the engines inside Seulgi’s brain trying to process everything you just told her.

“But why did you guys fight?”

You take a deep breath before telling her the rest. Taehyung, Joy, Mike, Yeri. It’s quite painful to explain, but it’s also relieving.

If you thought Seulgi looked shocked before, now it looks like she just found out that Santa is real.

She completely turns her body in your direction, eyes super wide. “Do you like Jungkook?”

You nod softly, staring at your own fingers.

“It’s more than just liking him.” You admit sheepishly.

Then she’s quiet for a long, long time. You decide to finally look up at her.

Now you’re surprised.

“Why the hell are you smiling?”

Seulgi hides her mouth with both hands - as if this wouldn’t let you see the big ass grin on her lips. “I’m sorry. It’s… it’s cute.”

“Cute?” you quirk one eyebrow. “My suffering is cute to you?”

“That’s not what I mean.” she waves her hand dismissively. “I always kind of shipped you two, okay? It’s just that you two looked really good together and you always had such good chemistry and all. But I tried to stop thinking this because, you know, I thought it was wrong to assume that a man and a woman can’t be just friends… and it never looked like you had feelings for him, not at all.”

You stare at her as if she has a second head growing now. “You shipped us?”

“You can’t judge me.”

You cross your arms and sink on the couch even more. This is kind of shocking. “You never thought I liked him?”

Seulgi shakes her head. “Never. Jungkook, though…”

You turn your head to look at her so fast that your neck almost breaks. “What about him?”

She hesitates a little bit before speaking. “Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.”

There it is again. The fast beating of your heart. It’s ridiculous that, even though you’re this miserable, you still feel this spark of happiness inside of you.

For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you!

You press your lips tight in an attempt to hold back the uninvited smile. It’s not appropriate to feel happy now; it feels that you don’t even have the right to feel happy at all. But his confession is hitting you just now. Hitting you like a truck.

God, if only you could go back in time. If only you could just make him shut the fuck up and listen to you. Why did he have to be so damn dramatic?

I love you too, dumbass! Now stop being a cry baby and kiss me!

What if Jungkook never gives you a chance to explain yourself? He can be hard-headed when he wants to. What if Jungkook never lets you get close to him again, what if your intimacy finally dies, what if you get so distant that when you’re in the same room you can’t bear each other’s presence anymore? What if from now on, there won’t be any Jungkook to steal your fries when you’re not looking, or to let you steal his clothes even though he pretends he doesn’t know you’re taking them, or to help you understand a difficult assignment, or to annoy you because he’s bored at 4AM, or to tell you the things no one else would be brave enough to tell you or to just be there when you needed someone the most?

Your brain can’t even comprehend what life without Jungkook is.

A mix of despair and hurry makes you get up in a jump.

“I’m going to his apartment.” Your breath is irregular, adrenaline taking control of your actions. “I-I need to talk to him now.”

“Hey, hey!” Seulgi gets up in a jump and puts her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to stop. “Y/N, you’re not okay. And you said Jungkook is drunk. Do you really think you’ll manage to have a civilized conversation right now? He’s probably still angry, maybe he won’t even listen to you.”

“I don’t care. I’ll shout on his door until he listens to me.”

Seulgi holds you in place again when you try to free yourself from her grip. “This is not a good idea and you know it.” She looks at you very seriously. “Take a shower, Y/N. Go to sleep. Tomorrow you’ll both be cold-headed and able to talk.”

“B-But,” you feel the tears coming back. Fuck. You hold Seulgi’s arms weakly. “But he needs to know the truth. He needs to know I like him back.”

The black-haired girl frowns. “Like him back…?”

You nod and look down. “He… he said that he’s in love with me.”

“Really?!” Seulgi huffs and taps your forehead lightly. “Then why are you so desperate?! He loves you back, dummy!”

“But I’m scared, Seulgi.” You sniff.

She rolls her eyes and pushes you into another hug. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. There’s no need to be worried. You already know the most important. Tomorrow you go talk to him, alright?” She chuckles softly. “Never thought I’d see you acting like this.”

You sniff again. “Now you understand how it is to deal with a stupid lovesick roommate.”

“Ouch.” You notice how she pats your back a bit aggressively. “But for real, Y/N… I’ll always be thankful for what you did today to me and Irene. Even though it was none of your business. And I’ll probably beat you up if you ever intervene in my life like that again-”

“Wow, I really see how you’re thankful, Seul.” She chuckles again.

"And I'm kind of offended that you hid this from me for so long."

"We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about this!"

"Alright, alright." She sighs. “I love you so much, you crackhead. And Jungkook loves you, too. You don’t need to be sad anymore, okay? Just take a shower and go to sleep now.”

You nod weakly.

Maybe she’s right. You’ll have enough time to talk to him tomorrow.

But you don’t think you’ll get any sleep right now.

***

[you]: jungkook

[you]: can we talk?

[you]: we really really need to talk

[you]: can i go to your place?

[you]: please

[you]: i know you’re reading

[you]: stop ignoring me

[you]: jungkook

[you]: JUNGKOOK

You sigh heavily. This is so frustrating. He didn’t even leave you on read - you’re sure he’s just reading the texts on the notifications and swiping them away. He didn’t block your number, which is a good sign, but this is already getting on your nerves. You’ve been texting since early in the morning (because you couldn’t sleep) and it’s already 5PM.

“He’s ignoring my texts.” You whine to Seulgi as you enter the living room.

“You said he had things to do today, right? Maybe he’s actually busy.” She says as she checks her makeup on the mirror. It’s been a long time since you saw her getting all pretty like this; she did her nails, made curls on her hair, put on that green skirt she bought months ago but never wore it. This is what being happy and in love looks like. Pretty, well-dressed, nice hair, healthy skin and all.

Meanwhile, your hair looks like a bird nest, you’re wearing the ugly Naruto t-shirt you have since middle school, your entire face is swollen and you have bags under your eyes. This is also what being in love looks like, unfortunately.

“Why don’t you just go to his apartment already?”

“You told me not to do it.”

“I told you not to do it yesterday. Today he’s not drunk anymore.”

You cross your arms. “I’m… I’m still kind of nervous.”

Seulgi turns around and looks at you and quirks her eyebrow. There’s the ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I never thought I’d see you nervous because of anyone. You look like a teenager…”

"I swear to God, if you say that you think I look cute one more time I'll fucking kill you."

Seulgi laughs and runs to you again, putting her hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, do you remember how you were always telling me that I was complicating simple things?"

"Yes."

She lifts her eyebrows. "So."

You roll your eyes and huff. "But it's not that easy!"

"Now you understand how I felt, huh?" Her eyes soften again. "For real, though. If you show up at his door he won't ignore you, I'm sure. Just go."

You sigh again and nod. "You're right. Just… let me build some courage, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She looks a bit worried. "I could go out with Irene another day."

"No, no. Go on your date." You wave your hands. "I'm not gonna die. Also, your pussy must be dusty after so long-"

She smacks your shoulder a bit too strongly as you let yourself laugh for the first time today.

When Seulgi leaves, you still stand in the middle of the living room for a good while. Like a Sim whose action has just been cancelled.

Whoever is playing you is really evil for putting all the wrong people in the wrong places past night.

You know that you’re not being rational. You should have gone to his house a long time ago… but something holds you back. Perhaps because now there’s no turning back. You know what you feel for Jungkook and you know what he feels for you - your relationship got completely out of its comfort zone, and now you can’t even pretend anymore. Things won’t ever be the same.

Maybe Jungkook is ignoring you because he’s embarrassed of what Mike did. He basically exposed you two in front of his friends. Sure, that’s none of no one’s business, but still… Jungkook didn’t want anyone to know about it in the first place.

You stare at your phone for a good while. Your reflection on the phone’s screen stares back at you in disgust.

For the hundredth time today, you unlock it and open Jungkook’s number. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard hesitantly.

[you]: jungkook i know youre mad at me and you have all the rights to be but

You frown and delete the text. It doesn’t sound good.

[you]: can you stop being dramatic and just text me back already?

You feel tempted to send this one, but if Jungkook’s angry, this will only make the situation worse. You sigh and try again one more time

[you]: i just really want to talk. you didnt let me speak last night. i know youre probably busy but please. i wont take much of your time

This one sounds about right. You tap the send button.

Then, your fingers mindlessly type one more text. It makes your heart beat fast just looking at it.

[you]: i love you too

You want to send this one so bad.

But you don’t.

Because this isn’t something to be told by text.

Coward! the angry voice of your consciousness yells in your mind. Stop being a coward! You’re an evolved human being, not a stupid teenager! Get this ass up the couch and go meet him!

You get up in a jump.

“I’m not a coward!” you say out loud. If you weren’t this out of your mind, you would have noticed how stupid it was to scream encouraging words by yourself in the living room.

But you don’t care right now.

You don’t care that your face is all puffy and the dark circles around your eyes make you look like a raccoon. You don’t care that you’re wearing your ulgy Naruto t-shirt with old ketchup stains, and you don’t care that you’re wearing the sweatpants that fall down your butt as you walk, and you don’t care that your hair looks like a living animal.

You just straight out leave your home and march to his. Flip flops and all.

Your heart beats at a stupid race as you walk, the sun already disappearing behind the buildings. The anxious part of your brain keeps reminding you that you don’t know what to say when you meet him and you don’t know what his reaction will be, but you shut this whiny voice up. Being with Jungkook always meant that you didn’t have to think a lot in the first place. Being with him is natural, it takes no effort. When you see him you’ll know what to say. You’re sure.

Yet, you can’t help but feel more and more nervous as you enter his apartment building (you never needed to ask permission to enter). You close your hands in fists, gulp multiple times, your heartbeat sounds like drums on your ears.

Your hand hovers over the door.

“Shit,” you whisper to yourself. It’s real. It’s happening. Come on. Don’t be a coward.

After taking one more deep breath, you finally knock on the door.

There’s noise inside. Steps. Fuck, you’re shaking.

You hear the sound of the door unlocking and you hold your breath ready to face him-

Jimin.

He widens his eyes and blinks.

“Oh. Hi, Jimin.” you say awkwardly. Why is he looking at you this way? “Hm, is Jungkook home?”

Jimin looks hesitant for a moment.

“No.”

It’s your turn to widen your eyes. So that’s why he isn't texting you back. This makes you a bit relieved.

“Is… is he working?” You can’t hide your disappointment.

“Not yet. He starts tomorrow.”

You put your hands on your waist and walk from side to side as Jimin just watches you in silence.

“Jimin, at what time he’ll be home tomorrow? Do you think it’ll be too late in the night? I really need to talk to him, but that fucker keeps ignoring my texts.”

You don’t like the face Jimin is making now.

You really don’t like it.

He scratches the back of his neck and frowns. “He… he didn’t tell you?”

This makes you stop.

“Tell me what?”

Jimin exhales and gulps.

“He told you that he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, right? That director.”

“Yes.” Each word of his makes you more and more worried.

“So… this project he’s involved in…” Jimin licks his lips before continuing. “It’s overseas.”

You stare at him in silence as this information sinks in.

“Overseas?! Are you telling me he fucking left the country?!”

“Yes.”

You can’t believe what you just heard.

“B-But- yesterday Jungkook and I were planning to go out! This makes no sense!”

“Well,” Jimin looks hesitant again. “In fact, his flight is tomorrow morning, but he left earlier because we kind of had an argument.” He sends you an apologetic gaze. “He was drunk yesterday and all and I was trying to calm him down and I might have accidentally let it slip that I knew about you two, and this kinda pissed him off even more because, well, he was drunk and you know how Jungkook gets stupid when he’s drunk, so I think he left to his parent’s house and he’ll head to the airport tomo- wait, are you crying?!”

You sniff and hide your face behind your hands.

“Oh my God,” Jimin sounds confused and borderline panicked as he watches you start sobbing again. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“B-Because h-he-!” you can’t fucking speak anymore.

Jimin puts a hand on your back and guides you to sit on the couch. He brings some tissues and pats your back awkwardly as you cry and sob like stupid.

“W-Why didn’t he tell me he was l-leaving?” you ask yourself.

Jimin sighs. “Y/N, it’s not like he’s leaving forever. It’s just for this project. He’ll be back by the end of the week.”

“B-But he would’ve told me something so important!” You blow your nose. Jimin frowns. “I didn’t know this project was so huge! What, is it a movie or something?”

“It’s a music video.” You stare at Jimin in disbelief. “Jungkook has been around the recording studio with Namjoon and Yoongi a lot. He ended up meeting Mr. Choi, who has been directing some music videos for Big Hit Records’ artists. He liked Jungkook’s work and invited him to work as an assistant… I mean, the assistant of the assistant, as Jungkook himself said.”

You exhale, feeling your shoulders drop. “Why didn’t he tell me this?”

Jimin’s eyes soften. “Your friendship hasn’t been in the best shape these days, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”

You rest your elbows on your legs and hide your face behind your hands again. You didn’t want to be crying this bad again, yet you just can’t stop. You don’t even know why you’re crying anymore. Jimin just caresses your back in silence as your sobs start quieting down.

“You were right,” you say at some point.

“What?”

“When you told me not to hurt him. I was hurting him and I didn’t even realize. I’m so stupid.”

Jimin tilts his head. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Y/N. You were both stupid.” You side eye him.

“Jungkook said that he’s in love with me.” This makes him quirk his eyebrows.

“Oh.”

“You don’t look very surprised.”

“I’m not.”

“Did… did he tell you?”

“No.”

“Was it that obvious?”

Jimin presses his lips together hesitantly. “Do you want me to comfort you or do you want me to be honest?”

“Be honest.”

“It was pretty fucking obvious that he’s in love with you. At least for me.”

You exhale and swipe your hands over your face. “I’m so stupid!” you repeat.

“Look, Y/N, to be honest, I think Jungkook is the most stupid. He was torturing himself with this fuck buddies thing, you know? He agreed to it in the first place. Everyone knows that this type of thing shouldn’t involve feelings, but he was the one to throw himself into it while he already had feelings.”

“It’s not like he’s the only one, though.”

Jimin seems about to say something, but he stops and stares at you, jaw-dropped.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

You rest your back on the couch. “I mean that I was also stupid enough to throw myself into it while having feelings.”

He’s quiet for a few more seconds.

“Do you mean that you like him back?”

You don’t answer.

Much like Seulgi, it looks like Jimin just discovered something world-shocking. “Since when? Have you liked him since the beginning?”

You sigh sadly.

“No, I haven’t. To me, it was just fun. Until I realized that he was getting too far from my reach and- and I realized that Jungkook has never been too far, never, and I don’t know what to do when he’s not around.” You sniff. You’re not talking to Jimin anymore at this point; you’re talking to yourself. “Y-You know, now that I think about it, I… I guess I understand why it was always so good. Not just because he fucks good or because of his big dick-”

“I don’t need to hear this, do I?” Jimin whines in disgust.

“-but because it was him.” One more tear rolls down your cheek. “It was good because it was with him.”

The way you always felt comfortable to be naked in front of him. How it was always lighthearted and fun and exciting. You had good sex with other people before, but never like this. Maybe because these other people didn’t have Jungkook’s handsome smile or because their eyes didn’t gleam with excitement the way his does or because they didn't smell like baby powder. Or maybe because it was never scary to be exposed in front of him because he already knew everything about you - there wasn’t really anything else to expose.

Jungkook felt like home.

Now, you feel homeless.

You wipe the tears away once more and look at Jimin-

“Why are you smiling?”

Doesn’t this scene look familiar?

“I’m sorry, it’s just that- wow, I don’t even know what to say.” Jimin doesn’t even try to hide his smile. “I’ve been waiting so long for this. Like, I kind of suspected that you had feelings for him, but I couldn’t be sure because you’re a hard bitch to read. To be honest, when I saw what you two were doing I wanted to kill you because you couldn’t be this blind to not realize how he feels about you-”

“Can you stop being honest for a moment?”

“Oh.” Jimin gulps, but he can’t stop smiling. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh again and cross your arms. “What if he never lets me explain myself, Jimin?”

“Stop the drama.” Jimin’s voice hardens suddenly. “You two are very similar in this sense, you know? I’m sure that Jungkook will listen to whatever you have to say. And he’ll be away for just four days! It’s not like he’s leaving forever.”

You sit there in silence for some moments. You’re sure that if you tell that you’re scared to talk to Jungkook, he will probably beat you up. He never had that much patience.

Jimin exhales heavily and gets up. “Wait a minute.” You watch as he walks into Jungkook’s empty bedroom, frowning. He stays there for a little while. When he comes back to the living room, he stops in front of you and hands you something.

“Jungkook’s gonna kill me when he finds out, but I don’t care.”

“What is this-?”

“Just take it already. And watch it when you’re back home. It’s so personal that I got uncomfortable the first time I watched it.”

“Then why are you giving it to me-?”

“Just fucking take it, Y/N!”

You take the small device before Jimin makes you swallow it.

He smiles sweetly.

“Everything will be fine, okay? Don’t worry. I’m always right.”

You stare at the small black pen drive in between your fingers.

This time, you genuinely hope he’s right.

You had honestly forgotten how it feels to get drunk.

At the same time that the dizziness feels familiar, it's also hitting you like a truck. Your friends didn't believe you when you said that you'd stop drinking, yet you've been loyal to your word. Of course, it's not like you didn't drink anything in all those months, but a single beer isn't the same as a pack of beer.

The way your body's responding to the alcohol in your system isn't right. Your stomach is already tangling around itself, you can't walk a straight line from the couch to the kitchen counter without feeling that there's holes opening on the floor, and your thoughts are more incomprehensible than usual. You'd usually not get drunk so fast - and surely not with just beer. You're the girl that was still very sober after many tequila shots that time a random date of yours was trying to get you drunk - he ended up drunk after a few shots, of course, and you left the son of a bitch alone while he vomited on himself.

Being in love sure has changed you a lot.

Look, it's not the first time you drink to forget about your problems. You've been doing that since high school and you're tired of hearing Jungkook say how this behavior is unhealthy (he's right, as usual). This time, though, you're not forgetting about your problems, you're just thinking about them more.

It doesn't help that you're listening to Seulgi's playlist on Spotify called "i miss you irene." You laughed your ass off when you found out she really made a heartbreak playlist and named it like that. "You're torturing yourself, Seulgi," you told her. I mean, why would someone sad listen to songs that will only make them more sad?

Well.

Here you are now, laying on the carpet as Spending my Time by Roxette is blasting on the speakers.

People really knew how to write heartbreak songs back in the 90s.

"Fuck you, Jungkook." you mumble, staring at the ceiling. "I'm shoving alcohol up my ass. You can't tell me what to do."

Jungkook, that fucker. Why didn’t he listen to you? Why didn’t you shut him up? If there was a way to go back in time you’d do it. You wouldn’t have kissed Taehyung, you wouldn’t let him get the wrong impression. You wouldn’t have encouraged Jungkook to be with Joy. Fuck, if you could go back in time you would have woken up that first morning in Jungkook’s bed and said that it meant a lot to sleep with him, that you were willing to not be just friends anymore.

(Of course, back then you didn’t feel that way, but you’re drunk and sad. Give yourself a break.)

Now, you can’t tell him what you feel because he’s somewhere overseas. He probably bought new clothes for such an important occasion. You imagine him being in a real set for the first time, his eyes gleaming as he watches the staff working, him trying to hold his excited smile back because he’s supposed to look professional and-

You sniff. You have a stuffy nose. Fuck.

You're so drunk that you can't really control your actions anymore. If Seulgi were here, she would probably stop you. But she's not here. She's somewhere with Irene.

So you take your phone, tap the Instagram app and start typing.

[@you]: hell o 😅😂🤣😊

[@you]: its been a log time how u doing???

[@you]: what if we meeet????

And unfortunately, she replies.

[@yerimiese]: hi 🤗

[@yerimiese]: yeah, sure!

[@yerimiese]: when can we meet?

It’s the back pain that makes you wake up the next day because you slept on the floor. You’re dizzy and confused, your poor brain trying to understand what’s happening, why you’re on the floor, why there’s so many empty beer cans around you and why your phone is flashing with notifications from last night.

When your sight finally adjusts to the light your phone screen produces, your eyes widen and you stand up in a jump, making your back ache even more.

Did you seriously DM Yeri and she seriously agreed to meet you?!

It’s currently 11:40 AM - and you agreed to meet at noon.

You run to your bedroom so fast that it makes you dizzy and you end up hitting your hip against the doorframe and it feels like you fucking broke it. You just have time to wear the first clean clothes you see laying around, tie your hair up and run to take the first bus you see.

You could’ve just told Yeri that you weren’t going anymore, of course, even though she agreed to meet you and it would’ve been kind of rude. You know it’s going to be the most awkward moment ever to see her after so long, especially now that you have feelings for her ex. Gosh - you’re already feeling so much embarrassment that you feel like jumping out of the bus and running back home. Why the fuck do you always end up doing stupid things when you’re drunk?!

But again - it’s that same chaotic side of you that makes you stay inside the bus and meet her. This chaotic side takes a good portion of your personality, it just gets more outgoing when you’re drunk. The same chaotic side that made you start some friends with benefits bullshit with your best friend just because you liked the idea of not being caught and the same chaotic side that made you passive aggressively flirt with Taehyung when you didn’t really want anything with him-

How the fuck did your friends even stand you?!

You’re forced to stop the existential crisis when you see that you arrived at the park. You feel a shiver run down your spine.

Yeri is sitting on the bus stop.

She looks prettier than you remember; her hair is short and blonde now, which makes her look more mature. Yeri was always one to walk around well dressed, but right now it feels almost humiliating that she's all pretty when you literally look like a scarecrow.

She smiles awkwardly and gets up. You didn't even say anything yet and it already feels awkward.

"I’m so sorry, Yeri,” is the first thing you say as you approach each other. “Did I make you wait too long?”

“No! It’s alright. I also got a little bit late.” She says, smiling prettily. Pretty is a word that overall describes her very well. “So, how you’re doing?”

“I’m doing fine!” You’re doing anything but fine at the moment. “What about you?”

“I’m fine, too.”

Silence.

My good Lord.

You start to regret all of your life choices right here and right now. You don’t see this girl in almost a year, you’re not close anymore, you know nothing about her life. Why the fuck did you even come anyway?! The awkwardness is so big that you can almost touch it.

There’s also a small and annoying thought that grows as you watch her - a thought you try very hard to ignore, but you can’t - that this is the girl Jungkook used to fuck before he started fucking you, that he used to go down on her and that he used to be inside of her and that those pretty lips of her once were around his cock and for some reason you start getting really angry-

“Do you wanna have a drink?” Yeri suddenly says.

You blink. “Hm… it’s 12PM.”

“And?” She quirks an eyebrow.

She’s perceptive, this one. Nothing’s better to break the ice than alcohol.

You don’t even know what you’re doing here anyway, so who cares?

“Sure. I know a bar nearby.”

Yeri slams the empty glass on the counter and stares at you, shocked.

“Mike did what?!”

You nod and swallow one more shot. Your tastebuds are so used (even calloused) from this bitter taste that you don’t even scowl as the drink slides down your throat. “Yeah. It seems that he was cheating on me for a while with that bitch. I caught them inside the lab.”

Yeri stares ahead. She looks speechless. “I will be honest… I heard that he was cheating on you, but I never thought this happened.” She shakes her head slowly. “Why the fuck were they inside a lab anyways? Are they stupid?”

“The lab was deactivated. That part of the science building was being renovated.” You sigh. Reviving those memories is kind of painful right now, especially after what Mike did to you some nights ago. Honestly, he could die and you wouldn’t care. “I was looking for him. His friends told me he went in that direction… well, kinda weird that they snitched on him like that. Maybe they really didn’t know. Anyways, I still don’t know how they got the key to the lab.”

Yeri nods. “Wow… I am really, really shocked. You guys were a pretty couple.” She gesticulates with her hand. “One more shot, please.”

“Me too, please.” You say.

The bartender looks at you two with visible worry. There’s no one else in the bar - who the fuck drinks so much this early? Wait, why is this bar even opened this early? - so he’s obviously hearing your whole conversation. You wonder what’s his opinion on your fucked up love life.

“Are you sure, girls? Shouldn’t you slow down a little bit?” He asks hesitantly.

You wave your hand dismissively. “Nah, we’re good.” You’re still not dizzy, just a little talkative. Getting drunk yesterday seemed to awaken all of your high tolerance superpowers. Pretty Yeri also isn’t one to get drunk that easily.

“We’re strong girls.” She reassures. The bartender shrugs as he prepares two more shots. “You seemed to like him a lot.”

“I did.” You admit.

“And he seemed to like you, too. I never expected that. Well… to be honest, Jungkook sometimes told me that he didn’t like Mike and that he was sure that he wasn’t a good guy.”

The sudden mention of his name makes you freeze. You realize that Yeri freezes, too. It seems that she’s also surprised for bringing him up like this. Yeri looks down at the new shot the bartender just placed in front of you two.

“It seems that he was right. As usual.” She finishes in a much lower voice, drinking her shot in one go.

This single sentence makes you realize that “Jungkook” is still a delicate topic for her. Of course it’d be - you don’t know much about their break up, but you sure know it was anything but friendly. Jungkook got pretty fucked up for a few weeks after their break up - and the fact that he refuses to talk about it to this day is enough of an indication.

Shit.

“Anyways, it didn’t stop there.” You decide to go back to your suffering for now, so she can get distracted. “The day before yesterday I bumped into him. He was drunk and made a scandal. Called me a bitch in front of everyone.”

Yeri gasps and looks at you wide eyed. “What? Please, tell me someone punched the fuck out of him!”

“Yeah, my friend did before I could.” You’re not telling her which friend, of course. “It was satisfying. Still made me feel really bad, though.”

“You shouldn’t. You did nothing wrong, Y/N. He’s the son of a bitch here.” Yeri reassures.

You nod and drink. “But enough of talking about my depressing love life. What about you?”

Yeri sighs, holding the small cup with both hands. “I’m doing fine, I guess. Didn’t really get serious with anyone yet. I’m seeing a guy, though. I don’t think I like him yet, but he’s about right. Who knows?” She says, shrugging.

You nod slowly. We’re getting into dangerous waters now. “I’m glad we’re both moving on, I guess.”

Yeri goes quiet for a while.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

A deep silence settles after this. You stare at the empty cup blankly, feeling the tension building up.

"I… have to be honest." Yeri starts quietly. "It was surprising that you called me after so long." She taps her nails on the counter slowly. "And I have the feeling that you called me for a very specific reason."

You nod slowly. She's not stupid. "You're right."

Yeri hesitates for a second. "You didn't… Jungkook didn't ask you to come here to talk to me, right?"

You almost gasp. Jungkook doesn't even dream that you're with her right now. "No, no. He didn't. You know I'm kinda nosy, but I have my limits too."

Yeri quirks her eyebrows and nods. You really hope that this tiny thing you saw deep in her eyes wasn't disappointment. You really hope that deep down Yeri doesn't still like him.

"So… why did you call me, then?"

You sigh. She came all this way just to meet you, so you have to at least be honest right now.

"I was drunk yesterday when I texted you."

"Oh." Yeri widens her eyes. "I thought there was something wrong with you by the way you were texting."

You chuckle. "But… I did call you because of Jungkook, somehow." You say carefully, She stiffens. "I know it's kinda cruel to do this. If you want to simply leave or if you want to slap me, I won't judge you. But… we had a really ugly fight these days and I don't know what to do. I was hoping that maybe… maybe you could help me understand him."

Yeri goes very, very quiet after this.

"Did you guys fight because of me?" She asks after a while.

"No and yes." Yeri was one of the things that got you overthinking anyways. "I… I really need to know. Again, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to. But… why did you guys break up?"

Yeri turns her head slowly to look at you. There's something very serious and hardened on her eyes.

"He never told you." It wasn't a question. You shake your head. "Well, I figured he wouldn't." She looks back to the cup between her hands; you can see she's thinking hard. "Y/N, I always admired your friendship with him. What you have is something truly special. Maybe you won't want to know why. Maybe I don't want to tell you because I don't want to destroy your friendship."

"My relationship with Jungkook won't ever go back to what it used to be anyways. I don't care."

Yeri looks surprised. She still hesitates for some moments - what makes your blood boil in expectation - but finally sighs and nods.

"Alright, then." She crosses her arms. "I broke up with him because of you."

You stare at her, jaw dropped.

"What? What did I do?" You ask, genuinely confused.

"You did nothing." She chuckles drily. "That's why I couldn't hate you, you know. And I tried to hate you really hard."

You don't know what to say. Some girls Jungkook had some sort of relationship with were very jealous of you, you knew, but Yeri was different. "Were you… were you jealous of me and him? But Yeri- you know we weren't like that."

This is not a lie. You weren't like that while they still dated. You were too stupidly in love with Mike to notice the person that was standing right by your side all along.

"I know." She nods. "I know you didn't. But Jungkook did."

You freeze.

"What?"

Yeri finally looks at you again - clear sadness on her eyes.

"Jungkook loves you. Not in a way a friend does."

You’re absolutely speechless.

Your heart is beating so fast that you think you’re about to faint. Your brain malfunctions and it seems that you lost the ability to speak for a few moments. This shouldn’t shock you - Jungkook confessed his feelings himself not long ago, and Jimin also said how he knew about Jungkook’s feelings - goddamn, even Seulgi noticed it a little bit. But back then? When he was still dating Yeri?

“B-But Yeri-” you hate the way you’re stuttering and you hate how Yeri is telling you something she obviously doesn’t like, but you still feel so fucking happy and fuzzy inside. “Jungkook was in love with you. I’m sure.”

“I thought so, too. And he thought he was in love with me.” Yeri stares ahead again, and in this moment you realize that yes, it still hurts her. “You know… Jungkook was too much like a dream.” She chuckles to herself, as if she can’t believe in what she’s saying. “He was perfect in every sense. His good looks, the way he was always so sweet… God, even the way he’s in bed.” Yes, he’s unbeatable in bed, you want to agree. “Too perfect to be true.”

Yeri goes quiet again for a while. She stares at the cup as if it’s showing her something important she can’t look away from.

“I started to realize why it was so perfect.” Her voice sounds painfully fragile. “He was trying too hard. Always trying his best. At first I thought that it was a good thing… We all want someone that’s always trying their best for you, right? But then… then, I started to watch how he acted when he was around you. Y-You know what’s worst in all this? It’s not like you two gave me actual reason to be jealous. You were never touchy around each other. You were even dating back then, and you two avoided going out together because Mike and Jungkook never got along well. I know it.” She sounds like she wants to cry. It makes you feel really, really bad.

“But… fuck, it was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. With you, he wasn’t trying anything. He didn’t need to try. I saw how he was so comfortable around you and… well, I didn’t need to be a genius to understand that he was so stupidly in love with you that it got him blind.” Yeri inhales and exhales deeply. “Jungkook was too much like a dream. But everyone has to wake up sometime, and I didn’t want to be there when he woke up from his. So I left him before I could get any more hurt.”

You can just stare at her, jaw dropped, adrenaline making your breathing shaky.

“Yeri, I never… I didn’t…” you stupidly stutter.

“I know you didn’t.” She nods. “I even pitied Jungkook, you know. Because he didn’t want to see what he really felt, and because you obviously didn’t feel the same.” Yeri chuckles. “That’s why I can’t hate you. That’s also what gave me some sense of revenge. At least he’s suffering a little bit.”

You’re both very, very quiet for some time.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. She doesn’t know you’re apologizing for putting her under the torture of telling those memories that are still painful for her. You weren’t expecting that Yeri still felt so affected by her past relationship even after so long.

“You don’t need to apologize.” She shakes her head slowly. “It wasn’t meant to be. That’s all. We would both keep suffering like that.” Yeri exhales again and looks at you. “Well… I guess I’m going now. I really hope I didn’t completely kill your relationship with him.”

She didn’t.

She quite helped to save it, actually.

Yeri takes some money from her purse and puts it over the counter, paying for her drinks. As she gets up from the stool, you say:

“Thank you for telling me, Yeri. I really wish you all the happiness you deserve.”

The blonde girl opens a small smile. You see why Jungkook fell - well, at least thought he fell - for her. Maybe Yeri doesn’t know it, but she also looks like a dream. You just hope she’ll find someone that will wake her up to see the most beautiful, warm and lovely reality.

“Thanks. See you around.”

She leaves.

You just sit there, all alone, staring at the counter.

Well- not exactly alone.

The bartender is furiously side-eyeing you.

“What?” You ask drily.

He presses his lips together. “I don’t think I should say anything…”

You tilt your head. “Go ahead. You heard everything anyway.”

The bartender stops in front of you. There’s something wise about him. That’s probably the result of hearing hundreds and hundreds of love stories every night - day, in your case.

“That dude you guys were talking about,” he says. “Your friend. You like him, right?”

You stare at him seriously. “Why would you think that?”

“Because your eyes lit up so much as she talked that I thought you were going to explode.”

Fuck. You can’t even pretend anymore. You avoid his gaze, embarrassed, and nod. “I do.”

He lifts his eyebrows. “Then, and excuse my intrusive ass, what the fuck are you waiting for?” He almost looks annoyed, as if he’s having to explain something painfully obvious. “Go after him, woman!”

You stare at him.

He’s right.

What the fuck are you waiting for?

Oh, right. You’re waiting until he comes back, because he’s fucking overseas.

It makes you so, so angry. After everything you just heard, after everything you’re feeling right now, you wanted nothing more but to run to him and make him listen to you. You want to see him, to hug him, to make him understand that he’s your most important person in the world, that you can’t see yourself in a world where he isn’t around.

But guess what - you’ll have to wait three days to meet him.

You look so grumpy on your way back home that people deliberately avoid looking at you. Seulgi and Irene are there when you arrive; Seulgi looks worried, Irene looks confused, you just decide to say you’re alright and lock yourself inside your bedroom because you can’t physically look at a happy couple right now.

You throw yourself on the bed and scream against a pillow.

If someone told you you’d be feeling so many things when all of this started, you wouldn’t have believed. You were always someone to continuously keep the fuck it button pressed - or at least, you pretended you did. Like that, you could trick your heart into believing you weren’t hurt by some jerk who cheated on you, that you didn’t feel like a piece of shit for drowning your problems in alcohol, that you didn’t care that most of your “friends” just cared about you when it came to parties and having fun, that there was never really anyone that truly took you seriously in a relationship.

It’s really easy to pretend those things aren’t real. But it’s just like Yeri said - one moment, everyone has to wake up. To you, waking up means facing the consequences of your actions, to face your feelings.

And it really hurts right now.

It also reminds you that the person you’d usually let your guard down for was Jungkook. You were never embarrassed to be weak in front of him - and it was the other way round. You were always in tune. Always in synergy.

This makes you remember the little black pen drive laying on the nightstand.

You sit in a jump, taking your laptop and the pen drive. Just feeling the device between your fingers makes you feel nervous… that’s why you still didn’t check what’s inside of it yet. Jimin said it was something personal. You’ve been hesitating to see whatever it is.

It can’t be bad, can it?

You plug the pen drive in your laptop.

The files tab pops up. There’s actually only one file inside the pen drive - a video. It’s called euphoria final test i swear to god.

You chuckle. This is so Jungkook.

Your finger still hovers over the touchpad hesitantly. It looks like one of Jungkook’s test videos - you’ve seen plenty of those. Nothing new. Nothing to be scared of. You double click.

The video opens up and fills up the screen.

It’s a vertical video recorded on selfie mode. Jungkook is walking down the university hall; he has a playful smile on his lips. The video shows you walking by his side, a grumpy expression on your face.

You remember this. He actually posted this on his Instagram stories around one year ago. His hair was way shorter back then. Why does he still have something so silly?

“Y/N’s team lost the championship.” Jungkook says. Of course he looks happy. He roots for the rival team. “How are you feeling right now?”

“Fuck you.” Is all you say.

Jungkook laughs loudly.

Another video.

A song kicks in.

It starts with the sweet melody of a piano. You frown, not recognizing this song at all.

Then the voice of the singer kicks in, and you feel your whole body freezing.

It’s Jungkook’s voice.

He sounds soft and angelic as you’ve always known - only this time, through professional mics and mixing. This itself is already shocking. You always felt blessed for being one of the few people to know of Jungkook’s singing ability, but this is different. He sounds like a professional singer, someone that makes a living out of it.

You remember Namjoon’s voice.

Hah, Jungkook didn’t tell you yet? He has been working with us! We’re doing a good job. He lent his voice to record some demos.

You then remember what Jungkook told you.

I… I kind of helped them write a song. I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.

Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.

Is… is this the song he was talking about?

Jungkook’s sweet voice sings:

You are the sunlight that rose again in my life

A reincarnation of my childhood dreams

I don’t know what these emotions are

Am I still dreaming?

Your breathing is irregular. Your fingers are shaking slightly.

Because as if his voice wasn’t enough to singlehandedly make you feel completely lost, the video is still passing on.

Videos of you.

You sitting on the university’s library, reading a book. You crying that time you ate tacos that were way too spicy, Jungkook’s laughter from behind his phone ringing softly over the song. You playing Just Dance with Seulgi, ridiculously trying to follow the doll’s moves on the TV. You running after Jungkook down the hall as he laughs because he stole your last cookie. You dancing around your kitchen as you prepare breakfast. You and him singing to Staying Alive that night at Burger King, both of you visibly drunk. Your shocked reaction as you watched a plot twist unfold on the TV - an anime he insisted so much for you to watch that you ended up watching.

I hear the ocean from far away

Across the dream, past the woods

I'm following this clarity

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

You remember some of those videos. He posted some of them on his Instagram or Snapchat. Some of them you sent him yourself. Some of them, though, you had no idea that existed. Videos of you doing… nothing. Scrolling down your phone. Reading a book. Watching TV. Some of them look more professional - those are from the times you accepted to be his “model” so he could test his techniques, yet he never let you see any of those videos.

Just you.

You, you, you and you.

Were you wandering around

Looking for an erased dream too?

It’s different from what destiny suggests

We share the same painful views

Won't you please stay in my dreams

Yes, both of you had erased dreams. Your erased dream was Mike. His erased dream was Yeri.

Jungkook thought that you would never be more than friends. What he felt, though, was different from what he thought destiny suggested.

The way you drifted apart from each other. The pain you went through, watching your friendship slowly die. You shared the same painful views.

You don’t know at what moment you start to cry, but now, tears are freely dripping down your cheeks.

Even if the earth crumbles

No matter who shakes this world

Don't let go of my hand

Please don’t wake me up from this dream

You remember that time you were looking at the pictures Jungkook took at a wedding, and you noticed how the groom looked at his future wife with overflowing love. You wondered to yourself if someone has ever looked - or ever would - look at you the same way.

Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.

It was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around.

You’re not seeing him in this video.

Yet, it shows how Jungkook sees you. And you can’t help but think… in his eyes, you look beautiful.

He sings beautifully. Passionately.

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

Euphoria

Close the door now

When I’m with you I’m in utopia

As the song slowly ends, the screen shows a last shot from a very old video you didn’t even remember. It’s from your graduation day from high school… actually, a video your mother recorded. The difference is clear from how shaky the camera is. You can’t help but think you look too goofy in your old school uniform.

“Y/N, it’s your graduation day! Next year you’ll live by yourself in a big city!”

“Thanks God. Less bills to pay for,” you hear your father jokingly say somewhere out of sight. You roll your eyes, but still laugh.

“Thank you so much, Dad. I see how much you love me.”

“But I love you, sweetie!”

“Shut up, darling. I’m trying to do an interview.” Your mother shushes him. “So, how do you feel, Y/N?”

You look thoughtful for a moment. That stupid teenager on the screen looks so full of hopes and courage. So young, so naive. “I’m a little bit scared, but I’m excited.” You say.

Then you smile, as if remembering something very important.

“Besides, Jungkook will live next to me, so I’ll be alright.”

The video ends.

You just sit there, sobbing uncontrollably for the next few minutes.

When you clicked that file, you never expected this.

You never expected to feel so loved with just a video.

At the same time, it makes an urge - the strongest urge you’ve ever felt in your life - flow through you. You need to tell Jungkook how wrong those lyrics are.

He doesn’t have to keep dreaming anymore. You’ve woken up from your own dream - and you’re ready to show him the real world in which you love him back, unconditionally.

Irene and Seulgi look worried as they see you marching out of your bedroom, sniffling, tears streaming down your cheeks. Before Irene can say anything, you put both hands on her shoulders and look at her seriously.

“Remember when you said you owed me one? That you’d help me with whatever I needed?”

Irene starts to look scared. “Yes.”

“Were you serious?”

“Of course!”

“Good. Then I need you to buy a flight ticket for me. Today.”

“Are you sure that’s the right hotel, Jimin?” you ask out of breath, your phone almost falling as you balance it between your ear and your shoulder, your hands busy holding your passport and flight ticket. You, Irene and Seulgi run inside the airport, looking like three crazy women in a dangerous mission - which isn’t too far from reality.

“I’m sure, Y/N!” Jimin says through the phone, starting to sound a little bit annoyed. “God, you asked me this a hundred times!”

“But I need to be sure! Can’t you ask him once again?”

“He will start to get suspicious. I already had to make up one hell of an excuse to make him tell me which room he’s in without sounding creepy.”

“Room 23, right?”

“Room 32!”

“So, is he sure that’s the right hotel?” Irene asks.

“Yes.”

She clicks something on her phone. “Good. It’s not too far from the airport. You’re lucky there was a room available!”

“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” Seulgi asks, looking borderline panicked. “You’re not going to die if you wait a few days until he comes back.”

“Yes, I am going to die if I wait any longer.”

“So dramatic.” Jimin says over the phone. You can even see him rolling his eyes.

“Shut up!”

“Why are you telling me to shut up?!” Seulgi asks, offended.

“No! I was talking to Jimin!” You finally hold the phone with your hand. “Okay, Jimin. I’m hanging up. Thank you so much for your help.”

“Don’t fucking die out there.” Jimin says, but you can hear the smile on his voice. “Good luck!”

You shove the phone inside your back pocket and turn around to look at them.

“Y/N, I don’t trust you alone in a foreign country.” Seulgi says. She does look panicked.

“I don’t trust myself either, but it’s alright.” You reassure her - but she only looks more nervous. You didn’t even bring a suitcase, choosing to just take a backpack with a few clothes and extremely necessary items.

Irene takes something from her wallet and hands it to you. “Here’s my credit card. I will text you the password later.”

You widen your eyes. “Irene, that’s not necessary…”

She shrugs in a dismissing demeanour. “Of course it is. How will you survive out there without money?” This kinda reminds you that this is only one of her credit cards and that whatever money you spend won’t really mean much to her. Still, you take the card hesitantly, making a mental promise to not spend more than the utmost necessary. “Your room is booked. You can ask a taxi to take you directly to the hotel. There’s no way to get lost.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Seulgi says under her breath.

“Seulgi, I will fucking beat you up.”

“Sorry! I’m nervous!” She admits.

Your gaze softens. “I promise I won’t die, okay?”

She steps closer and hugs you tightly. “Be safe. Huh, you’re so stupid, but this is so romantic! It feels like I’m watching a Netflix romcom movie in real life!”

“Why do you always have to bring Netflix up?” Irene wonders under her breath. Seulgi sends her a menacing glare as she steps back again. “Anyways, if you need anything, please call us. Call us as soon as you get out of the plane. Keep us informed.”

“Okay.” You jump over to hug Irene; she gets visibly surprised, not really the type of person to appreciate a lot of physical contact. “Thank you so much, Irene! You’re saving my life!”

“The same way you saved mine.” She giggles. “Now go, unless you want to lose your flight!”

You wave them goodbye one last time before walking to the check-in area.

Yeah. You know that this is very, very stupid to do. You could wait three days. But when your impulsive, chaotic side takes control, you can’t really hold it back. That’s why you get inside the plane even though you’re really fucking scared of flights, going to a country you know absolutely nothing about.

But it’s alright. You’ll be with Jungkook, so it’s alright. Even if he rejects you - it’s alright.

Your chaotic side says that you’ll annoy him until he at least listens to you - and this time, you don’t think your chaotic side is all that wrong.

You get lost.

Which is dumb, because there were lots of information boards around the airport. Maybe that’s why you got lost - too much information, your peanut-sized brain couldn’t process all of that. After walking around the gigantic place for a good thirty minutes, only stopping to buy something very important on a vending machine, you find the exit and the taxi area. The taxi driver sees how desperate you are and it looks like he pities you.

Irene was right; the hotel is only twenty minutes away from the airport. It’s not a super hotel, but it looks like it’s much more expensive than you’d be able to pay (you couldn’t even pay for the flight tickets anyway).

You get more and more and more and more nervous at each passing minute. You feel like you’re about to fucking explode as the receptionist types something you can’t see. When he gives you the key card for your room, you feel goosebumps run down your spine.

It’s now.

Getting inside the elevator, you press the button to Jungkook’s floor. You don’t even want to drop your things in your own room before meeting him. You’re so nervous that, if you wait a little bit more, you’re sure that you’ll pass out.

Every step of yours on the corridor’s carpeted floor echoes in your ears. Your heart beats furiously. Your hands are trembling slightly and you feel cold in your stomach.

Room 23.

You stand in front of it, frozen.

Oh my God.

As expected, you don’t know what you’ll say when you see him. You tried to plan a speech the entire flight as a way to forget you were thousands of feet away from the ground and how fucking scared it made you, but you couldn’t think of anything.

You inhale and exhale deeply. It’s alright. It’s Jungkook who you’re talking about. You’ve always known how to act around him. Right now it’s no different.

Finally, you knock on the door.

“J-Jungkook?” You call, your voice failing slightly.

No response.

Weird. Jimin made sure that Jungkook wouldn’t be working anymore at this hour.

“Jungkook, it’s me. Can we… can we talk, please?” You say a little bit louder, knocking on the door once more. You can't hear any noise coming from inside the room. Come on, Jungkook. You have to open the door before any security guard can drag me away from here.

Your breathing is difficult. Your hands are trembling slightly. It feels that the floor is opening holes under your feet.

"Jungkook, I know you're mad at me. But please… please, let me at least explain myself." It's stupid how you already feel your eyes welling up with tears. Since when you became such a cry baby? Your chest tightens, hurts. "Y-You can't just leave me outside your room like this. Stop being a jerk. I need to tell you… I-I need to tell you that I lo-"

"Y/N?"

You freeze.

You turn around, looking at the exact opposite room in the hallway.

It's him.

Jungkook still holds the doorknob, indicating that he just opened it. He's barefoot, wears shorts and a long sleeved shirt, all black. His damp hair falling slightly over his eyes indicates that he probably just took a shower.

His eyes are so widened that it looks like they're about to pop out of his face.

He sincerely looks at you like you're the weirdest thing he has ever seen in his life.

"W-What-" he stutters, looking like he can't form a coherent sentence. "What the fuck?!"

You're still frozen in place.

You turn around again, looking at the door you were knocking on.

Room 23.

You look back at Jungkook again - the sign on his door.

Room 32.

"Oh." Is all you can say.

Shame suddenly makes your shoulders weight. You really, really hope there's no one inside Room 23.

You both stand there, staring at each other with widened eyes like two scared chipmunks. Your neck and face feels very, very hot.

Jungkook looks like he's recovering from the shock. He didn't hear anything you said, apparently.

"W-What exactly are you doing here?" Jungkook asks, tilting his head to the side. He frowns, looking at you like you're an exotic species.

"Oh." You repeat. Your brain is malfunctioning. You step closer, simply showing him the plastic bag you're holding. "I-I brought you this."

His eyes go from you to the plastic bag and to you again.

"It's banana milk." You explain hurriedly. He widens his eyes slightly. "I mean- it's this country's equivalent of banana milk, I guess. It's the closest thing I could buy in the vending machine."

Jungkook raises his hand slowly and takes it. He's moving carefully, as if this exotic species can jump on him and bite him at any moment.

"Did you take a 5 hour flight just to buy me banana milk?"

"Yes." You agree mindlessly. You feel your entire body burning now. "A-And I also came here to talk, because your dramatic ass didn't let me speak the other day."

Jungkook quirks one eyebrow and crosses his arms slowly. "Alright. I'm listening to you now."

He stares at you very seriously.

His gaze is overwhelming. It almost feels that you're getting small under his eyes. Gosh - you've been wanting to see him for days, but right now, when he's right in front of you, you can't say a damn thing, your brain completely overheating, your braincells melting. You thought you'd know how to act when you met him - but ha, guess what? You don't.

And that motherfucker is just standing there, waiting for you to speak. Just staring at you.

You hold the doorknob in a swift moment and close the door on his face, just letting enough of it open so he can still hear you.

"What-?" He gasps from inside the room.

"Shut up, okay?! I just can't speak looking at you right now." You hold the doorknob so tightly that your knuckles get white. You hate the way your voice is trembling and you hate the way your sight can't really focus on anything around you - that's just how nervous you are.

Jungkook doesn't say anything. You feel him leaning on the other side of the door, waiting patiently.

You inhale and exhale heavily.

"You got so fucking angry at me when I said you were my best friend that night.” You start, not really knowing where you’re going with this. You don’t even know if it’s possible to convey everything you feel through words only. “But you know, it’s- it’s true. You are my best friend. But what you didn’t let me explain is that you’re not just my best friend.”

Your heartbeat thunders on your ears at each word. You can’t see Jungkook’s expression, and at the same time it helps you keep talking, it also makes you more anxious.

“Y-You’ve been with me through everything. You were there with me when I broke my arm when we were kids, and you were there to help me when I thought I wouldn’t get into college, and you were there with me to celebrate when I got into college. It’s even embarrassing that you’ve seen all of my lowest moments.” You rest your head on the door, staring at the carpet under your feet. The first tears roll down your cheeks. “You know everything about me and sometimes I hate it. You’re like… fuck, I hate how cheesy this sounds, but you’re like a part of me. A-And you’re the best part, because- I don’t know how to explain, but you’re always the one making my average self want to be more.”

Normal you would never say something like this. You’re far from being an emotional person and you’re shit with words. But right now you’re crying and sniffling and trembling and you can’t shut your mouth anymore.

“Please, you have to believe me. I would never purposefully hurt you. Whenever I see you sad I die a little bit inside, and to know that I was the cause of your sadness is fucking killing me. It’s killing me.” You sob. “I don’t want to be the cause of your sadness ever again. I-I want to return all the good things you’ve done to me. So, please… I know I’m a pain in the ass to deal with, b-but if you’d let me be by your side… if you’d just bear me a little bit longer until I become someone that you’d want to be with-”

Jungkook opens the door.

You hear him whispering under his breath wait, wait, wait, interrupting you. Gently, he puts his hands on your arms and pulls you inside the room, closing the door right after, so now your back is against the door - right in front of him.

He stares at you, lips parted, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks stunned. Very, very confused. And very hopeful.

His starry eyes are welling up with tears.

“What… what do you mean with all this?” Jungkook asks softly. He almost sounds scared. “What do you really mean?”

You stare at him in silence. His beautiful face. His beautiful self.

You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.

“I love you.” you confess, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I fucking love you. I’m sorry that I took so long to realize.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen.

The next thing you know is that his lips are against yours.

He drops the plastic bag full of banana milk on the floor, holding the back of your neck with one hand and pressing your body against his with the other. He tastes like toothpaste and tears; you can barely breathe, adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream, your fingers grabbing the strands of his damp hair.

When he finally lets go of your lips, you’re both out of breath and trembling.

Then, he smiles - and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

He wipes the tears away from your cheeks as his own cheeks are wet with tears. His eyes are smiling too, and you think that you want to keep that smile forever.

“Y-You have… you have no idea of how long- how long I dreamed of hearing this,” Jungkook says quietly, his voice cracking a little bit. He giggles, frowning his eyebrows slightly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right in front of him. “I can’t believe you took a fucking plane to bring me banana milk! How can I stay mad at you when you do this type of thing?!”

You start giggling too. His warmth, his scent of baby powder, the way his eyes are shining as much as diamonds - this is something you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t know you’d ever have.

“God- I fucking love you, too.”

Your heart feels filled.

You smash your lips on his again.

It’s desperate and intense and makes your senses completely dizzy.

You feel the backpack dropping from your shoulders right before Jungkook lifts you up as if you weigh nothing and you circle your legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to where the bed is, sitting down with you on his lap.

Adrenaline and excitement washes over your body in anticipation. It’s even familiar at this point - his gaze clouded with want, your heavy breathings, hands grabbing and caressing everywhere they can find. Jungkook moans quietly against your lips as you grip his hair tightly, humping your clothed core very slowly against his growing erection.

“I missed you so fucking much,” he whispers in that deep voice that makes goosebumps run down your skin, his lips against your neck as he kisses and sucks it. You giggle.

“We fucked just a few days ago,” you point out.

“I miss this everyday. All the time.”

You hold his face, forcing him to look at you.

You might be shit at words, you might not know how to express yourself that well. But one thing you know better than anyone else is how to make him feel good.

So, softly, you push him back until you’re hovering above him and he’s propped up by his elbows.

You don’t say anything. You just smile and start to take his shirt off.

He doesn’t complain.

Your hands roam his exposed skin as you kiss and suck his neck gently. While your lips are still glued on his neck, one of your hands travels to caress his clothed member. Quiet moans come from the back of his throat. Slowly, you kiss your way down his chest and stomach - until you’re kneeled in front of his opened legs.

Jungkook is breathing heavily in anticipation. Maybe it’s the sole sight of you biting your bottom lip as you manage to get his member free from his boxers and shorts that makes it throb. He has to gulp when he sees you spitting on his dick, the feeling of your spit trickling down his member making goosebumps roam his skin.

You hold his member and start to bump it slowly at first - which makes waves of pure pleasure wash over Jungkook, stunning his senses. He hisses when your lips envelop the head of his cock, sucking it. His eyes are half lidded, lips slightly parted, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. He looks so beautiful as he’s being pleasured.

You start taking more of him inside your mouth until you feel him on your throat; Jungkook moans louder. You bob your head up and down his length, taking turns between sucking and bumping his member with your hand, your spit making it easier and producing obscene sounds. Jungkook hisses and groans and moans and then he’s grabbing your hair, making you take more of him inside your mouth. You don’t complain. You just want to make him feel the best he has ever felt.

This time, though, it’s being much quieter than what it usually is. Jungkook just swears a little under his breath. No dirty talking.

His face and neck are covered with blush, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead, his face distorted with pure pleasure. His moans are getting more constant and louder. You wouldn’t mind if he cummed in your mouth right now, but Jungkook hisses and takes his hand off your hair.

“Oh my God- stop. Stop. Come here, babe.”

You decide to just do as he said. As soon as you prop your knees on each side of him, Jungkook sits up again and starts to get rid of your clothing hurriedly - first your pants, then your coat and shirt. When he unclasps your bra, he immediately takes one of your breasts on his mouth, making you moan quietly. His hand pushes your panties to the side to meet your already wet core; you moan louder as he gently caresses it. You unconsciously start moving your hips against his hand, his movements adding more pressure over your clit, his lips still licking and sucking your breasts.

Jungkook decides this was enough to get you wetter. He pushes your panties to the side, holds both sides of your hips as you guide his member to your entrance.

Both of you moan as he enters.

You close your eyes tightly, the feeling of being stretched by him so familiar and so delicious. Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you start to guide yourself up and down on him, never breaking eye contact, watching him carefully. Every deep moan coming from him makes you shiver. The pleasure, the sound of skin hitting skin - how many times have you done it before? You don’t even remember. Yet, right now, it somehow feels fresh and new.

Maybe it’s because there’s more in Jungkook’s eyes than just lust. Maybe it’s because you notice how he watches you with adoration. And maybe it’s because you watch him with the same intensity, the same feeling.

Jungkook grabs the skin of your hips tightly as you increase your pace. He loves your face contorted in pleasure, he loves the sight of your boobs jumping at each move, he loves to feel the soft skin of your ass on his hand. He loves it. Both of you are really sweating now. You kiss him deeply, never decreasing your pace, your tongues entangling around each other, grabbing the strands of his hair.

God, how much he loves it.

He loves it much more now, because he sees how this time, he’s not the only one feeling something beyond physical pleasure. He knows you too damn well. It’s just like that morning at your house. You’re feeling it, too.

You love him, too.

Thinking about it makes him smile. You think it’s simultaneously the hottest and the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook simply circles his arms around your waist and completely switches positions, throwing you on your back on the bed, which makes you giggle. He finally gets rid of your panties and hovers over you, thrusting inside of you once again.

His pace is fast and steady from the beginning. Your moans get higher and higher, louder and louder. You love how his face is so close to yours, how strongly he’s hitting you, how he tightly intertwines his fingers with yours (Jungkook really is the type to intertwine his hands when having sex!)

It’s ridiculous how you feel your eyes welling up with tears in a moment like this.

This moment… It’s not just bodies connecting - it’s souls.

You used to think you and Jungkook didn’t match; you were opposites in many ways. Jungkook is an introvert, you are an extrovert. Jungkook prefers quiet places, you prefer parties. Jungkook works out, you’re too lazy to do so. Jungkook hates coffee. You can’t live without it.

But, it’s in this moment - when he’s inside of you, when all of your senses are stunned by pure pleasure, when everything you can smell is him and everything you can hear is the sounds of bodies against bodies and when everything you can see is his beautiful starry eyes looking right back at you - is when you realize how wrong you were all along.

You’re like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. They need to be different to match. They are different, but when you put them two together, they complete each other.

You’ve always matched.

Seulgi didn't expect to find Jungkook standing in the kitchen when she came home.

Of course - you told her that the flight back home was scheduled at night and you'd probably arrive in the morning. This shouldn't be surprising. Yet, Seulgi still widens her eyes when she sees Jeon Jungkook cooking breakfast, his hair a mess, his face slightly swollen - an indication that he just woke up - wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.

He turns around and smiles. "Oh! Y/N didn't tell me you were coming back so early." He sounds a little bit surprised.

Seulgi notices it immediately.

That smile on his face and those gleamy eyes are just shown by someone that had a long, steamy and tiring night of sex.

Sure, Seulgi knows that you and Jungkook made up - and that you've been fucking for months now - but damn, it's still shocking to see it with her own eyes, considering that you only looked like good friends.

"I didn't know I'd come back early, too." Seulgi says, sitting by the tiny kitchen counter. She was expecting to spend the weekend at Irene’s penthouse, but she had to work. This is one of the reasons why Seulgi loves Irene; Irene could just enjoy her fortune and do nothing, yet, she decides to actively work for the company. She’s admirable.

"Do you want breakfast?" He asks over his shoulder.

"Well… I already had breakfast, but this is smelling really good." She admits. Jungkook nods and proceeds to prepare one more portion. She just watches in silence as he works around the kitchen (and she's also surprised that he knows where everything is, every pot, every spoon, literally everything). He hums quietly, that tiny satisfied smile never leaving his lips.

Seulgi thinks she has never seen him so happy.

It's kind of adorable.

"So, how was your job?" She asks.

"It was great!" Jungkook says excitedly. He chuckles. "I thought I was going to be the assistant of the assistant, but actually I was everyone's assistant. I didn't really do much, but it was great anyways. It's totally different to study about it and see how things work in real life."

Before Seulgi says anything, she sees you coming from your bedroom.

Your face is swollen and your eyes are barely opened; it seems you're not even seeing where you're going. Your hair is a complete mess. You wear one of Jungkook's shirts and Seulgi suspects you're not wearing anything under it.

She watches as you walk on a beeline straight to Jungkook and hug him from behind, burying your face on his back.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" At least that's what she thinks you said, because your voice sounds muffled.

"Because you looked so funny that I didn't want to wake you up." He says softly. Seulgi can hear his smile. "You were drooling and all. I even took some pictures."

"You didn't."

"I did." Jungkook giggles when you punch his back, but still keep your body glued on him.

"Fuck you. What are you cooking anyways? It smells too fucking good." You mumble.

"It's my special recipe." Jungkook moves to take something on the cabinet. You go along. "I can't cook if you keep smashing me like this."

"I don't caaare."

"Since when do you like hugging so much?"

"You didn't know girlfriend Y/N. Girlfriend Y/N likes long hugs."

Jungkook chuckles again. "Nice to meet you, Girlfriend Y/N."

Seulgi just stares, jaw dropped. From all the things she thought she’d see in her life, this is the most unexpected.

This is so cheesy. So not you. Not even when you were dating Mike you were like this.

And Jesus- she has never seen you look happy like this.

You turn your head to look at Seulgi, and she watches awkwardly as you let go of Jungkook and proceed to walk in her direction. You kind of look like a really happy zombie.

“Oh, good morning, Seul. Don’t be jealous. I love you toooo.”

And you throw your arms around her shoulders, hugging her so tightly that she almost falls from the stool.

The only person that doesn’t get shocked at your relationship is your mother.

You casually called her just to talk and gave the news. What she said?

“Well, finally.”

Everyone else is utterly shocked.

When Hoseok saw you kissing each other goodbye the other day - it was just a peck - his eyes got so wide that it seemed they were about to pop out of his face. He stared at you and him, completely shocked, as Jimin just laughed. That was pretty much everyone’s reaction.

You and Jungkook were never the type to be too touchy. It’s still kind of awkward to hand hold in public or call each other things like babe or love. You physically cringe just thinking of calling him “babe”, honestly.

It’s weird, because you’re “officially” dating now, but your relationship isn’t all that different. All the overwhelming awkwardness between you is gone (thankfully), so now you do what you always did; you swear at each other, you have your violent ways of showing affection, he still ghosts you because he’s too busy playing whatever game. The only difference is that now you can fuck without feeling guilty (and oh boy, you’ve been fucking a lot these days) and there’s a lot of kissing. There wasn’t that much kissing back then.

You thought it was impossible, but sex is even better now. It’s more exciting and even funnier - especially because there’s no awkwardness weighting in the room after you both reach your climaxes. Instead, there’s giggles and hugs and soft kisses. You also sleep at each other’s places now, which is good.

To be honest, if you think really hard about it, you’ve been lowkey dating for years. It’s just that now, you fuck a lot.

When you tell him this, Jungkook just chuckles. You don’t think he’s really listening to what you’re saying, though - nor you’re thinking straight anymore. You went out with your friends at a karaoke and, as expected, ended up drinking way too much; you and Seulgi had a singing competition in which none of you won (Irene just sat there looking absolutely embarrassed), Jimin sang a little bit but disappeared at some point (Jungkook said he noticed some hot guy in the side room), Hoseok got so emotional singing Haru Haru by BigBang that he started crying as Seokjin laughed so hard he almost choked, and Jungkook didn’t sing at all (because everybody knew he’s actually good at it and he would humiliate everyone else), until Jungkook silently asked if you wanted to leave (and you did) and you two left before anyone could notice (they were too drunk to notice anyway).

Since he’s drinking, you took a bus. The wrong bus. You’re at the other side of the city now, sitting on the bench of a park, watching the sun rise. It sounds romantic, but really, everything you see is heavy traffic and the grey pollution line in the horizon, almost blocking the sun.

Not that you care.

“We did everything backwards.” Jungkook says, his voice low and a little bit husky. His eyes look heavy because of the alcohol. You love how his hair is tied in a tiny ponytail. “People usually are friends first, then go out on dates, then they fuck.”

“We jumped straight to the fun part!” You say as if it’s obvious. He giggles again.

Peaceful silence. Jungkook watches your intertwined hands sitting on his lap, a small smile on his face. You can see that, even though he’s right by your side, his mind must be far, far away. He’s clearly sleepy. It’s silly - you know this guy almost your entire life, you already have memorized each detail about him - but you can’t take your eyes off of him right now.

You inhale.

“You know.” You start absently. “I saw the video.”

Jungkook frowns and looks at you. “What video?”

You’re trying really hard to hold back a smile.

“I think it’s called euphoria final test I swear to God.”

His eyes widen.

“W-What? Who showed you?!” He groans. “Jimin. Oh my God- I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

You start laughing as you see blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. He hides his face behind his hands and moans painfully.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” You ask, endeared, trying to get his hands off from his face, but he won’t let you.

“You weren’t supposed to watch that! It’s- it wasn’t- ugh!”

“But the song is beautiful, Kook!” You try, still laughing.

“Yeah, the song is alright, but the video?”

“What’s wrong with the video?”

He finally side eyes you for a few seconds. The blush on his cheeks gets redder. He hides his face again, groaning.

“You weren’t supposed to find out about that. Shit, I can’t look at you anymore. I wanna fucking die.”

“Stop being so dramatic!” After a lot of effort, you finally manage to cup his face with your hands. Still, he avoids your gaze. “Hey, hey. Look at me!”

He does.

He looks sheepish and it’s adorable.

“I loved it. Every second of it. You’re so damn talented.”

“B-But I didn’t write the song alone… Namjoon takes most of the credits with the lyrics. I just helped a little bit. A-And you know, it was just for fun, it’s not an official demo or anything-”

He’s forced to shut up when you peck his lips.

“I love you.”

He knits his eyebrows a little bit.

“You like to say this a lot.” He notices quietly. “I didn’t know you were this type of person.”

“I’m not.” You agree. “But it’s because it’s you.”

You’ve been “officially” dating for, what, almost two weeks now? People usually don’t say “I love you” this early. But this isn’t the beginning for you two. It’s more like a progression. It feels natural, like it has always been with him.

It feels like home.

Jungkook avoids your gaze again. The blush hasn’t gone away. “I don’t know what to do when you say things like that- why are you crying?!”

It’s Jungkook’s time to laugh at you as you try to wipe the tears away. He pulls you to rest your head on his chest, hugging you tightly.

“I am supposed to be the emotional one here, not you.” He says, still laughing.

“Shut up. I’m drunk.”

“Yeah, sure.” His laughter slowly dies until it’s just a quiet giggle. You feel his scent, hear the beating of his heart. Jungkook kisses the top of your head gently, caressing your back. “I’m gonna be so embarrassed when I remember I said this tomorrow,” he says softly against your hair. “But I think I’ve loved you ever since that first day of school when we bumped into each other on our way.”

You bury your face on his chest even more.

Everything around you is blurred and distant. It seems that nothing really matters besides right here, right now - as if you’ve never realized what you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This moment.

Him.

The puzzle is finally complete.

#btswriterscollective #bangtanarmynet #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook scenario #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #jungkook

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

Text

Mean (JJK x Reader) 💜☁️✴️🔞

💸 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

💸 Genre: Mafia!AU, Single Parent AU!, Angst, fluff, Smut

💸 Warnings: bad language aka cursing, mentions of cheating, mentions of illegal business, manhandling and not the nice kind, tsundere Jungkook, it’s not like he likes you duh, guns, description of violence, restriction of movement and not in a kinky way, protected sex because dude he’s got one kid okay that’s enough, unconventional romance, choking, near death experience, angst did I mention angst

💸 Summary: Jeon Jungkook was kinda cute, you had to admit that- but he was also a massive douchebag with his head up his ass. And a cute kid.

A/N: First of all, I want to apologize to anyone I might dissapoint with this. I've changed up the story concept numerous times- and the first trailer is in no way a proper teaser anymore, since it has nothing to do with this story anymore. I somehow hope you still enjoy the story however. If not- I hope you'll stick around for future content!

Taglist: @drumsofheaven @yzkyzkuniverse @strwberrybtch @kirbykook @teresaisla @park-hera-gi @justzeera @taestannie @bambuzlee (there were several people I couldn’t tag- I’m sorry about that!)

Jeon Jungkook was facing his worst enemy.

Now, considering his work and all those rumors going on about him, this could be anything really; from an entire army storming his house, to readying himself for waterboarding. But no, this enemy he was currently standing across from was way more vile and difficult to get under control. The situation was slowly growing desperate on his side- this was a life and death situation.

"Mina, come on now." Jungkook pleaded as the toddler vehemently refused to raise her arms properly so he could slip on her dress for the day. He could understand her, to an extend- he wasn't a morning person either, but he had to overcome this in order to be successful- and she had to as well.

Well, success was not really that important at her age, but getting her to daycare definitely was.

"Mina I have a meeting soon and if you continue to be a brat I can't send you off again properly." He tried, knowing how much she hated him leaving in a rush like usually. He'd promised her the day prior as he'd tucked her into bed that he would, this time, at least stay until her friends had arrived, yet he couldn't have known that this situation would occur the next morning.

Sometimes being a single father was way worse than anything he was facing at his actual job.

"There we go!" He cheered as she finally caved in, pouting a bit before she giggled at the silly face her father was making in order to get her to smile. He hated sending her off in a foul mood, knowing that she could be an absolute devil's child if she felt like it. In a way, she was very similar to him, which was to be expected with her mother not being in the picture. He didn't mind it much, however- a cheating spouse was not really what he wanted by his side, if he was being entirely honest with himself. It was enough already knowing that almost all of his 'friends' and 'business partners' were shameless liars. He didn't need to live and raise a child with one as well.

"Tiger!" The young girl cheerfully exclaimed, as the both made their way into the kitchen. It wasn't just a random comment from her side, because her chubby hand already pointed at the cereal box designed with colorful images on the counter, way too high for her but perfectly reachable for her father as he chuckled, balancing her on his hip as he prepared a small bowl for her.

"No funny business though, young lady." He said, as he sat down with her at the table. "We don't have to hurry, but we can't waste time either." He explained, as he watched her eat her breakfast with a concentrated face. He smiled at the picture, sometimes wishing this would be how his days would always start. Sadly, that wasn't the case- most of the times really, her nanny took her to daycare.

Which was another problem.

Her nanny had recently filed in for her termination, her age getting to her as she finally made the decision to settle down for her last years of life, she'd said. He accepted it without much resistance, having build too much respect for the elderly woman over the course of time by now. It left him with a gaping hole however, one that he knew he needed to fill.

But with who?

He couldn't just hire anybody for Mina at this point in his life. People needed to be fully trustworthy to be even given knowledge of his child at all. Most didn't even know she existed- the public unaware of her relation to him. He kept the facade up that she was merely the child of a close friend, just to keep her out of range of any potential enemies he had gathered over time.

His life really wasn't fit for a child at all, but what was he supposed to do?

"Y/N!" A small voice exclaimed behind you, making you look around from where you were cutting apples as the small child appeared.

"Mina!" You answered just as brightly, picking her up as she giggled excitedly. "Did you have breakfast yet?" You asked, as another daycare worker came inside.

"Yeah!" She said, and you looked at her surprised. "Daddy and I had breakfast!" She explained, as you placed her back down onto the ground. "He'ven brought me here today!" She said, and you hummed affirmatively,

"That sounds awesome!" You said, as she beamed up at you. "Why don't you go sit at the table, we're almost having our morning snack. You think you can eat some apples?" You asked, and she proudly nodded, before zooming off, stumbling a bit as she missed the slight gap of the door.

"He didn't come inside." Jenny said, as she watched the little girl sit down next to a boy her age. "I saw that he was sitting in his car, but she got out herself." She explained further, as you continued cutting the apples and making some cuts to have them resemble a bunny. "I swear to god-" She started, as you cut her off.

"We don't know what his life is like, Jenny." You said, as she huffed. "It's not our kid, it's not our life. She isn't unhappy, she's healthy, she's not mistreated. Case closed." You explained further as you discarded the scraps of apple unneeded in the trash, before rinsing the knife you'd used. "I'm not too happy about it either, but we're not her mother." You said, as you dried your hands.

Jenny sighed. "I know, but like-" She said, walking over to you to help you place the banana slices and grapes as well. "She's such a sweet kid. I don't know, but he seems like such a dick honestly. Like, have you heard his phonecall last week?" You snorted. Everyone did at this point.

Mina had had a minor incident, when she'd stumbled and fell. She'd scraped her knee, cried a little, but after a moment everything had been fine again. He however, had been livid upon finding out his daughter had been hurt, even though the scratches didn't even need a bandaid. Even though he'd only been on the phone with your superior, he'd made such a scene out of it that it became like local news around the daycare.

"I still don't know what the fuck that was about." Jenny exclaimed, taking a sip of her coffee as she kept an eye on the kids in the main room. "Like, yeah, she fell, but nothing happened." She said, and you agreed.

Shrugging, you grabbed some plates and napkins, and looked at Jenny. "Again." You reminded her. "As harsh as it sounds, you know me." Jenny sighed.

"I know."

You took back everything you had said this morning.

This prick had the audacity to keep you waiting for more than two hours now, without reacting to any amount of phonecalls you'd done by now. Mina was almost asleep on your lap, and you were angry to say the least. This was supposed to be your last day of work for a week, you were supposed to be curled up on your couch in nothing but underwear and fluffy socks, hidden by a blanket and eating icecream while watching netflix. You were definitely not supposed to sit here at your daycare until even the janitor was about to go home. "Fuck it." You mumble, carefully balancing the young girl on your hip as you grab your bag and keys.

You wave the janitor and cleaning staff goodbye on their way out, and take out your phone for a bus or subway that could drive close to where Mina's address is- but you notice there is nothing in her jacket written that you could use as one. You instead simply call the number written down for emergencies, and wait as it rings.

once.

twice.

"Hello?"

You are a bit taken aback by the voice on the other line, masculine, but clearly not as old as you'd thought he'd sound. "Uh, yeah, this is Mina's daycare, you mind picking her up these days, or not?" You casually say, Mina moving around a bit as to bring her thumb close to her lips. You internally coo at her.

"Shit! Fuck- I, where are you?" He asks, and you furrow your brows. Where the hell does he think you are, or does he seriously not know where his daughters daycare is? Wait, is that even her father?

"I- listen, am I even talking to her father or who is this?" You ask, and suddenly you feel extremely uncomfortable. This was a bad idea, what if this isnt her dad at all? You could loose your job for this!

"Yeah, yes. Listen I'm gonna send someone to pick her up alright? Should be there in an hour or so." He says as if frustrated, and you scoff, making him question you on the other line as if he was just struck by thunder. "Excuse me?" He says, voice low, but you're not intimitated.

"First of all, I'm not convinced. Second of all, and pardon my french, but are you nuts?! It's already way too late for her to be up, and I've finished my shift hours ago!" You complain, and he clears his throat over the line, clearly unhappy about your lack of understanding.

"Jeon Mina has a small beauty mark underneath her lower lip, she hates strawberries for some reason, and her biggest secret is that she is actually scared of unicorns. There, happy?" He grits out, and you chew on your lip. He was good. "Second of all, Miss." He makes sure to pronounce every word. "You're getting paid to look after my kid. If that's all you want I'm paying you extra for the inconvenience-" Oh boy, there we go.

"If I cared about your stupid money I would've called authorities hours ago, S.I.R." You start, careful to tone your voice down as to not wake her up. "And you know what, thats a great Idea actually! Let me just-" You begin, but he cuts you off with a sound that sounds awfully like a door closing.

"Fuck you, I'm there in 20." He says.

Jeon Jungkook was not too fond of woman.

That much was clear ever since he'd been cheated on and left with a kid, but it had always been like that. It wasn't like he was afraid of them, or didn't like them, it was more like, during his life, woman had been the reason for heartbreak and bad news all along. His mother had been an alcoholic, his dad desperately trying to get her back on track. His sister had been involved into shady business early on, a wild child that would do anything to get on peoples nerves. His aunt, which only ever visited to gain money. Women were bad news.

So his own surprise had been very prominent when he spotted you on the bench with his kid in your arms,her chubby arms clinging onto you like a koala. You seemed to be reading something on your phone, careful not to point the device too close to Mina so she wouldn't be disturbed. You were pretty, he had to admit that, even from far away- and you seemed like a confident person, from what he'd heard over the phone. You suddenly noticed him as he drove a bit closer, car tires crunching the gravel and snow underneath while his headlights shut off, to not blind you both. He stepped out, as you woke Mina up to announce to her that her father had finally arrived.

"Daddy!" She screached sleepily, running towards him with stumbling legs. He picked her up with a smile before he turned around, having every intention to buckle her up in his backseat as you came closer.

"Huh. Mind telling me why I shouldn't inform authorities about this?" You asked, and he huffed out a breath with a roll of his eyes, pulling out his wallet. You simply stood there, arms crossed, not at all fazed by the amount of money he held in front of you- you simply raised your eyebrow. "I mean, if money could talk I'd ask your bills, sure. But that right there isn't an answer." You replied, and he gritted his teeth, jaw clenching. Why were you being so difficult.

"Okay, how much?" He said, and you suddenly moved, shifted, as if absolutely offended by his offer.

"Do I look like a streetworker to you sir?" You said, and he closed his eyes for a moment, until another car seemed to pull up.

"You're getting picked up." He says, ready to step into his car as you look at him with confusion. "You don't know them?" He asks, and you shake your head, having every intention to check as he notices something familiar peeking out of one of the car windows. As if on autopilot, he rips his passenger side open, pushes you in, and runs to get inside the drivers seat.

There are shots fired, Mina is holding her hands over her ears as she simply stares at you, who is absolutely shell-shocked.

What the hell just happened?

So yeah, that's how you got here-

In a room that looked awfully like the interrogation rooms in your late night netflix crime shows. There was someone sitting in front of you- Mina's father, watching you, like you were going to do anything. But you were as quiet as a mouse, not saying anything.

"So you didn't know them? At all?" He questioned for the second time in the past ten minutes, and you shook your head. "Hard to believe. Then again, why would you ever tell me that your Dad's brother was sentenced to two years for escorting drugs- only getting two years because he snitched." He said, and your eyes widened.

"Okay what the hell-" You started, but he cut you off.

"Oh, I hit a nerve-" But you weren't having it.

"Oh an I'm gonna hit your pretty nose if you don't stop cutting me off!" You said, making him smirk. For some reason, this was quite entertaining to him- the only woman he ever had in here were so keen on keeping up that shy and innocent facade, that you were a breath of fresh air. "Listen, I don't know why you decided to dig up things that happened when I was literally a TODDLER- or how you even got that information - I swear to god I will really break your nose!" You ended as he had tried to speak again, making him chuckle.

If you weren't being held captive after getting your night ruined you might as well would've thought that was pretty hot.

"I was five years old- I had nothing to do with it, and my dad had no contact whatsoever with his brother after what had happened." You explained. "If you can find that, you can also find that I haven't had contact with my family in years either." You said, leaning back, as he spoke.

"I did. Which is quite confusing to me." He said.

You suddenly went stone cold on him. "It really isnt that deep." You said.

"Were you avoiding them?" He asked. "Because of what happened? Or because your dad got involved into something?"

"Because they're dead." You said.

Well. This was something that made him actually stop and think for a second. He did dig into that nasty part of your family, but he never looked further- their death was something he had overlooked. And by your reaction as you said it, the way you said it, he knew that you weren't lying. "Alright." He said. "But you do realize that I can't just let you go like that, right?" He said.

"Figured." You said. "So, should I stand facing against the wall or with my back against it so you can aim better?" You said, and he took a deep breath. Technically, yes, that would be a logical outcome.

"Neither." He said, and you raised your eyebrow. "I have an offering." He said, and your entire body went stiff, arms crossing in front of your chest. A pure sign of whatever he was going to say, your first reaction would be no. "I need a nanny for Mina." He said, and your lips parted, confusion clear on your face.

He almost thought it was kind of cute.

"You what?" You said.

"I need a nanny for Mina." He repeated. "It's a win-win situation for both of us if you think about it. You get to- in a way- keep your job and a bonus in terms of payment, and I will have someone to take care of Mina. And I also don't have to put a bullet into your pretty little head." He said, leaning forward with the last words.

"This isn't really a question, isn't it?" You said, and he laughed.

"You're smart- I like you."

„But that’s not how daddy does it..“ she wonders, as you tie her shoes for her, before looking up into her eyes. She really does resemble her father. Well, a more innocent version, that is.

„Well everyone does it differently.“ you say, well aware that there were numerous ways to tie a simple bow. „Your daddy probably has learned it from someone who does it like he does. I learned it from my dad.“ you explained as you went to pick up her backpack, carrying it for her as she took your hand.

„yours looks prettier tho!“ she exclaimed happily, a skip in her step as she kept looking at her shoes with a smile. You grinned, a sense of pride filling you. „Daddy‘s always looks crooked on one side-„ she said, before a voice broke through the sweet moment.

„You hurt me Princess. You always said they look nice.“ he hummed from his spot in the doorway, leaned on the frame, looking at you with something you could only describe as unsatisfied, while shooting his daughter a smile.

What the hell have you done wrong now?

This had been something going on for months now. Ever since you started working for him as a nanny, Mina had been nothing but a ray of sunshine- but he, he was not even a raincloud. He was the angry grinch miltiplied by a hundred, ready to piss everyone off twenty-five-eight. Somehow everything you did wasn't up to his standards; the way you cooked for Mina, the way you dressed her, hell, even right now with the way you tied a fucking bow.

You really hoped next time he washed his hands, his sleeves would roll down.

"There's an emergency gun underneath the back-" He started as Mina was out of listening-reach.

"I won't use it." You said.

Jungkook had tried to get you trained at least in the basics of guns- but you practically had an allergy to it, refusing to so much as touch one. He didn't quite know what your problem was, but after a while, he had given up on it- simply sending one of his guards with you whenever he could. By now, you were an easy target as well if found alone, so you had joined him in his place, occupying one of the larger guest rooms. He had said that it was to keep an eye on you, but internally, he simply didn't want you to get hurt.

And yeah, at first that was because he didn't trust you, at all- but by now, somehow, you had sneaked your way into his heart, in a way. Even though he himself would always grumpily comment on it, he loved how you made Mina smile and the entire mansion light up. Things felt a little brighter, a little less tense, and a little less lonely with you around. It felt as if you were an actual family.

And that scared the shit out of him, because in no way was he going to fall for his daughters nanny.

And, after all; you hated his guts.

If Jungkook knew the situation you and Mina had gotten yourselves into, you don't know if he would be proud of her or kill you.

Turns out that the guard Jungkook had sent you out with wasn't actually following his orders at all, but words from a different person entirely- you imagined they were highly likely the one's out to shoot you back when you first met the tall mafia boss and father. Now, the only thing they definitely did not get right however, was that you were Mina's mother- and someone Jungkook valued enough to give up his safety. This was true for Mina; the young child was his everything, and he'd cut off his limbs just to know her safe and sound- but you? That was just absolutely stupid. Sure, you've been living together for quite some time now, and he stopped trying to mentally push you down the stairs every morning as well. But there was nothing more than a mild case of friend- and partnership. You weren't being emo; Jungkook had, after all, said it again and again that he had crossed out the dating game. He's got enough trouble with Mina and you, he had said.

Well, seemed like one of those issues would solve itself.

"Again, what're you gonna do?" You say, as Mina looks at you from out of the vents above you had helped her into seconds ago.

"Crawl where the nice air is, call daddy- and don't look back." She repeats proudly, but you can see it clearly that she's just as scared as you are.

"Exactly, good job princess." You praise, and she nods with a pout. "Once daddy gets you, you'll be safe." You promise, and she wants to complain- but you don't let her, closing the vent again as you hear her shuffling away. This was fine. Mina would be safe, Jungkook would have one person less to worry about- he could move away, bring her to a different part of the country where no one knew her, and she could simply go to school next year and forget all of this ever happened.

You were just a bit sad that you'd never get to see it.

Of course you weren't her mother- but it was hard not to let her inside your heart, with the way she was. The charms her dad didn't have, she got them times ten. She was just so sweet, and you were around her all the time, it was hard not to somehow grow fond of her. You just hoped she'd be alright.

"Where's the kid, whore?!" A guard yelled after noticing you were the only one left in the room. You simply smiled, not answering, before he grabbed your neck, pulling you up as much as he could as he fumed. "Save that stupid grin for your son of a bitch at home." He barks, and you desperately try to breathe- unsuccessfully so, until he forcefully pushes you back down, the back of your head hiding the concrete floor with a sickening crack. You squealed out in pain, holding onto the spot for dear life as if that would somehow help it- but it didn't. "I knew sluts like you have to be tied up. You're all just trouble." He says, pulling you by your legs as another set of people come in, binding your legs and hands. You can already feel your fingers getting cold from how tight your wrists are tied- but you black out from the kick to your stomach before you can quite dwell on it.

"Fuck!" He yells, before he gets up, hands in his hair to somehow help himself not punch the laptop on his table. He's seen it, seen it all- from the moments you would shield Mina like a fearless lioness, the second you had lifted her up into the vents even though he knew your shoulder had to be in horrible pain, to the very moment you had faced the consequences of your actions. He hated that he had to wait, that he had to simply sit here in his office like a coward just to watch you take the beatings.

Because here was the thing with Jungkook; even though he liked to portray himself as someone who always takes the upper hand in things and troubles, when it came to his own personal life far away from his criminal business he ran, he couldn't seem to ever make up his mind. It was like a repeat of his past love affair- but instead of his ex-wife cheating and leaving him with a child, there was you, in some way fighting like a true lionness in order to keep said child safe and sound, even though you didn't even had to. Technically, this would've been the perfect opportunity for you to finally get your freedom back in a way. Because without Mina, there was no use for you being in his grasp anymore. Without her, there was no agreement between the two of you.

And yet there you were. And yet again, he simply watched, simply did nothing.

The entire mansion was already on high alert by now; his most trusted friends Seokjin and Yoongi already out to your location- he could wait. He could wait. He could wait.

Everything would somehow turn out to be just fine by the end of this day. He would successfully take his daughter into his arms, Yoongi and Seokjin would get you out of there, and after a good nights sleep and some first aid for you, things would just return to normal.

But what was normal at this point?

He didn't want things to continue like they did currently. He wanted change, for the first time in his life. He wanted to tell you about his inner thoughts, about his desires concerning you and his future. He wanted to tell you that he didn't just want you to be at his home and with him and his daughter just because of some stupid agreement. He didn't want you to stay with him because he forced you to.

His phone began to chime, your face greeting him as the caller ID as he accepts it. "Daddy-" His heart sinks down to the floor as he hears Mina sniffle on the other side of the line. He has to wait, he thinks, repeats like a mantra. He has to somehow calm her down, tell her everything's alright- "They're hurting mommy!" Mina wails, and somehow, those words make him snap.

Fuck waiting.

In a way, Mina was a smart kid. She had been nothing but understanding when Jungkook and her mother had broken up- divorced, and fought until she eventually left for good. She had been a little sad for a long time, thinking it had somehow been her fault; but he had assured her, and later on, explained, that Mommy simply didn't love Daddy anymore. In Daycare, she was one of the most well behaved kids ever encountered- careful, and calm. Of course she got excited and happy and sometimes made a mess; but she also was very careful who she interacted with, what kinds of friends she made, and how much she talked about home. She never complained, never threw public tantrums.

Jungkook truly was lucky- that the only thing left of his shattered marriage had been her.

He never had relationships after that- never dated, never truly searched for someone. No one, in his eyes, was worth the risk- and even after meeting you, that was his opinion. But as cliche as it sounded, you were quite different from anyone he'd ever met before.

You spoke your mind; always saying what bothered you, never beating around the bush. Yet, you weren't being a bitch about things. No, you actually could be pretty cute if you wanted to be- be it the moments he had caught you and Mina sneak a taste of her birthday cake in the middle of the night, or the one time he had been sick.

You had been such an angel to him.

Helping him towards the bathroom, never even scrunching your nose in distaste whenever he had to throw up. You simply rubbed his back, helping him towards the sink to rinse, just to lead him back into his bedroom. You had aired the room out, made the bed, made sure that he was staying hydrated and at least tried to eat every day- all without any complains.

Maybe that was the moment his perspective of you shifted into dangerous territory.

He had somehow become hyperaware of the things you did. How well you got along with Mina, how easy going you were becoming with him- how confident yet nurturing and sweet you were, gently scolding him sometimes to not overwork himself. You always made sure his kid felt happy and was healthy, never so much as whined about your past friendships lost; you had simply accepted the new situation.

In a way, you were what he silently dreamed of at night.

Because as much as he loved the sight of you holding Mina whenever she had a nightmare and couldn't sleep, he somehow also craved to be held throughout the night by your arms. Just like he held his daughter in that moment after she had climbed out of the vent into his arms. He could make out some of her words as he simply let himself feel her tiny body in his arms for a moment. Just to make sure she was really there, really alright, really out of harms way. She kept on crying out for you, for him to help you, to save you-

So it was only natural for him to jump out of his car and run after Seokjin, Yoongi, and their squad, as they entered the building.

Sometimes at night, when you got aware of all the different sounds of the room, you heard the blood rush inside your brain.

Just like now; but now, it was so loud that you could barely hear anything else. Things seemed hazy, fuzzy, your ears stuffed with cotton wool drowning out any sounds might happening around you. Your eyes stayed closed, light way too bright for your raging headache- and the stale metal taste on your tongue wasn't helping either. Your hands had started to tingle long ago, and your knees were hurting from being in the same position for this long. But the moment someone touched you next, it wasn't forceful. It was so gentle, and almost- scared?

You couldn't hear, but you could feel. How the rope was cut, blood rushing painfully into your hands and legs again, pins and needles making them hypersensitive as you were suddenly held- moved, carried?

It smelled like home, that was something your dizzy mind was able to properly make out. It smelled like Jungkooks mansion, and a bit like his office- a faint vanilla hitting your senses, making you faintly smile as your hand reached out, unknowingly grabbing his shirt, holding the fabric as tight as you could as you moaned out in pain when he placed you down again, warmth surrounding you.

Maybe you were dying?

Or maybe not.

Because after some hazy and confusing dreams, you slowly came back to your senses. Eyes opening slowly, there it was; the curtains you knew so well, the balcony opened, air crisp and fresh around you as the door opened. You wanted to move your head, but the fear of triggering another headache was too big.

"Y/N?" Jungkooks voice asked, warm, and almost hesitant. You hummed, and he snapped his head around, noticing that yes- after days of sleeping and slipping in and out of consciousness you were actually awake again. He walked into your field of vision, looking so casual; his white button up undone at the first two buttons, sleeves rolled up as he sat down close to you, palm on the blanket covering you as he-

smiled?

"W-" You had to cough a bit before clearing your throat. "Who are you and what have you done to Jungkook?" You said, and he chuckled, sighing in relief- you had, after all, not lost your charm.

"I think past Jungkook had a moment of self-reflection." He said, watching you as his hand placed itself onto yours, warmth spreading over your skin. "I'm glad you're okay." He admitted. "And thank you. For keeping.. Mina safe." He ended, and you smiled.

"That's literally my job." You said, and he got more serious.

"No, and you know what I mean." His voice was deep and rough, yet held no authority like usual. "You had chances to tell them who you were. That you had no connection to me other than through her; yet you didn't. And we both know why." He said, and you looked at him.

"There are more reasons than just one." You said, eyes drifting to his now empty ring finger on the hand resting on his thigh.

"Does it matter which one I mean?" He asked, and you wanted to scoff.

"It does to me." You said, and he shifted closer after a second, properly holding your hand now as he looked at yours- still a little scratched, but nothing that wouldn't heal.

"You did it because that's the reason you live here." He said. "You also did it because you adore her just as much as I do. And you.." He began, but grew unsure.

"And I?" You smiled, and he looked at you with his typical seriousness.

"And you somehow got stuck in an emotional mess." He explained. "You somehow, deep down, wanted it to be true." His thumb moved over the back of your hand as he spoke. "You wished that.. maybe there was more to it than just, partnership." He said, and you still smiled gently.

"Did I now?" You teased, but to your surprise, he was still looking straight at you.

"I know I did." He humms out. "I still do."

"You're stupid." You said, and he laughed bitterly, taking your words the wrong way as he slipped his out of yours.

"I know." He said, getting up to leave but stopped as you spoke.

"Good." You said, chuckling before coughing. "What, no kiss for me after all I've been through?" You giggled as his wide eyes stared at you. "Rude." You said, and he suddenly realized that no- you weren't rejecting him. You were accepting.

You felt the same.

Noticing his own awkwardness, he leaned over, hands supporting his body as he leaned down, properly placing his lips onto yours. You had never imagined what kissing Jungkook would feel like, but you certainly would've never guessed how gentle and absolutely loving it would be. One of his hands moved towards your cheek, holding it, as if you were the most precious thing he'd ever seen.

"Mommy!" Came Mina's excited voice, cries instantly noticable as she jumped onto the bed, burying her head into your chest as you held her, a few tears in your eyes from her jumping.

"Mina baby, be careful okay?" He said. But your words were the reason that he ended up tearing up, at the end.

"Mommy's still hurting baby." You said. "But she'll get better soon."

Not even during the first few magical months of being together with his past ex, had it ever felt like this.

He was euphoric almost; with the way you felt, moved, breathed. It all felt like so much to him, made him feel so.. He couldn't explain it. He had his hands on your hips, fingers careful not to press too hard, but having enough force to move you back and forth over his lap- his length moving in and out of your heat, making you whine, as he watched your breasts in front of him. You fit so perfectly like this, felt so amazing, managed to make him feel needy instead of the other way around.

He turned you over slipping out of you sloppily as he moved positions, now above you as he spread your legs, entering you again easily. He pulled you by your thighs, holding you in place as he began to thrust again, your eyes closing with every movement of his hips.

He loved the sight of it.

Deep down he wanted to take the condom off; he wanted to fill you up, cum inside over and over and over until your cunt would overflow. Not only just to claim you in a weird animalistic sense, but to also make his family complete. He had cut his ties to his illegal activities by now, had settled down with you- and he knew, there was no other person he'd ever have a child with again than with you. "I want to cum inside." He said breathlessly, making you whine in return. "Hm, you'd like that?" He asked teasingly, his thrusts gaining more strength as if to underline his statement. "Stuff you full of my cum, make you leak it and mess up the sheets.." He continues, hand reaching between the two of you to find your clit. "just to make love to you over and over again. I wanna make you cry." He gritted out, suddenly moving you around face down. He pulled up your lower body, entering you again, gliding in easily with the amount of slick you were leaking. "And you'd take it wouldn't you?" He asks, making you nod and groan out as he grows more desperate, faster, harder- throwing you off the edge but never stopping. "You're gonna take it until I cum, don't you dare move away from me." He scolds, holding you tightly, making you gasp out in overstimulation as he continues on, chasing his own high.

He reaches it with a loud groan, burying himself deep inside as he holds you, peppering kisses onto your spine. "I love you, hm.." He whispers out. "So good, so pretty.. all mine.." He huffs, simply falling onto the mattress with you in his arms, cock still buried inside you.

There was a moment of silence, until he spoke again. "I really do mean it though." He said earning only a tired humm from you. He simply chuckled at that, holding you close as he decided to maybe bring that topic up when the timing was a bit better.

For once, he felt like a normal person. Right next to you, in your arms, as you turned around to pull him close, burying your face into his chest.

Right where he belonged.

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