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possumcollege · 2 years ago

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Explain to me the sides

Today a person on twitter explained to me that in their country- they didn't specify which but, it'll be clear why it doesn't matter in a sec- the concern around gender affirming care is that young girls are being "gaslit into into thinking they're transgender because they don't fit into the preconceived notion of femininity."

They then stated that the biggest spike in those seeking GAC were teenage girls , "the same demographic most susceptible to self-harming social contagions." They admitted that persistent gender dysphoria does exist, but then stated, "the problem is the lack of interest in weeding them out by a medical industry that receive lifelong patients from [GAC]"

"It's a difficult subject," they said, "with many on the Left advocating for the increased access to reduce harm to the potentially transgender children. Whilst many people on the Right and in the Center advocating for reduced access to reduce harm to false positives."

For context this arose because I found a political cartoon by someone terrified that "tomboys" were being preyed upon by the Homo-sexual Underground (not the artist's term) and railroaded into becoming trans instead of simply being a "cute girl."

This is why both-sides-ing an issue like GAC is goddamn near impossible right now. People who want to reduce access to care argue publicly that their concern is protecting children from irreversible harm foisted upon them by woke parents and an insidious LGBTQ agenda to inflate their numbers (and profits) by convincing impressionable kids that being trans is just the coolest goddamn thing. Some claim to support the need for people with gender dysphoria to receive treatment after they've been screened, and that's all they want to do, "weed out" the real cases from the patients looking for GAC like it's an ankle tattoo on vacation. They are concerned that people will regret it and the Trans agenda just wants their money.

The stated positions are fucking fictional coming and going, and just as binary as the gender identities conservatives largely support.

That interpretation is horseshit. For one, it's massively disingenuous, because a significant portion of the people who want to restrict access- Poster said reduce, but when you have to prove you deserve something, it's fucking restriction- want to keep people from receiving GAC because they think it's an affront to god, a sin, an abomination, or a plot dreamt up by Jews to dilute the power of Western Society. A significant portion of that "side" wants to hunt down and kill transgender people. That is a significant wedge of the pie to completely omit while pointing out the difference in people who support or oppose Gender Affirming Care.

Secondly, the stated intent for many on the Left is to funnel patients into the lifelong cash extraction scheme that is transgenderism. Why is this so strictly a Left vs. Right thing for these people? Because they're fucking lazy, but sorry, not the point. My point is, No. That is absolutely not even in the top 69 reasons people who support access to GAC claim. Anyone who believes in respecting the gender identity of others knows that it's harmful to force any gender standard, not just the ones we don't like. We don't just want more trans people.

For clarity, I don't ID as trans, but I do believe gender to be spectrum of possible states that a person can exist in, not determined by their reproductive anatomy. I believe trans men are men and trans women are women and everyone else is what they know themselves to be, even if that changes throughout their lives. When I say "We" please understand me to mean people who broadly view trans people as real people, deserving of self determination, happiness, and access to healthcare, unburdened by bigorty. Thanks.

We understand that a person's right to live their life in the identity that expresses their humanity, their personhood should go unfucked-with by people who want to enforce a false binary or defend the impressionable girlchildren of the world from their wanton fancies.

Saying "you don't look girl shaped so you have to be trans now", is just as evil as saying, "Of course you can receive care, but convince us first." The first is just not happening in clinics providing GAC and sacrilege to anyone believing in bodily autonomy. The second is happening now and it's killing people.

I say what country Poster is from is irrelevant because they were parroting the same lines that bigots use when they don't want to look like bigots, wheresoe'er they be. They ignore the contingent of anti-access proponents who want trans people killed or forced to live a fake life for the convenience of people who don't believe they are real. They completely made up a bizarre reason why pro-GAC folk support it. And I need to point out, they cited a concern that has historically been used to justify the torture, subjugation, mutilation, and dehumanization of women.

Referring to Gender Affirming Care as a "self-harming social contagion" is the kind of language doctors used in the late 19th, early 20th century to justify subjecting boys to painful devices and process to discourage masturbation, chemical castration of children and the "mental defectives," and literally lobotomizing girls who were deemed too wild and unruly. Look up Rose Kennedy if that sounds insane. It is. And they did it. This is the language of honor killings.

Couching opposition to GAC in an innocent desire to protect young girls from self-harm reinforces the notion that they are not capable of properly managing their own mental or emotional lives. Poster states that statistically, these young people are at the highest risk for suicide and self harm, while ignoring the crushing burden that being forced to present an identity that is not you places on a person. Young people are at heightened risk because they are under nigh inescapable pressure to live a life that is acceptable to others while subjugating their own needs and identity. It is paternalistic trash and it can fuck right off.

These talking points speak to a deeply flawed understanding of what gender affirming care even is. They sound like teens are fed into the Transgender Mill where their bodies are surgically mutilated into a humiliating parody of reality. Most of the time, people leave their first session with pamphlets. Maybe some referrals. Hormone Replacement Therapy, counseling, puberty blockers can be GAC. They can also help people suffering from conditions unrelated to gender identity. A very vocal segment of anti-access advocates seem to believe GAC just means genital reconstructive surgery. That's great for those who choose it, but it's not the only way a person can become trans. Transition is not a single destructive act that obliterates a healthy human in its execution.

I believe the poster may have conceivably been trying to present an equitable encapsulation of what they see as a complicated issue but the language they used bore the veneer constructed by people who admit they just think trans people are sick in less public settings.

So thanks, poster for explaining that both sides of the issue as you see it are entirely made up perspectives crafted by people who neither know or respect trans people, and wish to package their discomfort with the fluid potential of gender presentation as the duty of benevolent father figures to control young girls until they're old enough to become another man's problem.

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strangermask · 8 months ago

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Aight ya know what? I’m gonna say this now cuz I will forget later.

First elemental masters canon facts!

They all were queer. They didn’t really know it at the time because the LGBT was not officially coined as words/community until many years later. It’s a new world and the beginning of Ninjago (plus “before time had a name” era), so everything was new and unexplored. Gender identity and sexuality included

But they were all still queer af. Just because gay and trans wasn’t a word yet don’t mean they never existed throughout history

And now to say what their sexuality + gender identity are.

Starting with Master of Lightning, Yoshimochi. This man is gay. And I mean heavily gay. He had a crush on Yukito, Sai, and Akiharu, and he didn’t even realize until way later in the departed realm. There were a few times he got flustered and stuttered of he saw a handsome man, but he mostly blamed it on nerves (he ain’t completely wrong). But he thought the feelings he held were strong platonic love, until gay/homosexual became an offical word and then Yoshimochi went: “Well fuck, this would have been helpful to know when I was alive.”

Now onto the Master of Earth, Akiharu. This dude is a trans man. He was born a girl and before he transitioned into a man, he lived with his parents. That is until there was a house fire that left him an orphan on that streets. In the beginning, he noticed that boys and men had more leeway than girls and women. Especially on the streets. So he decided to pretend to be a boy to help himself. But as years went by, he realized that he actually liked being a boy and being referred as such.

Does his team know? Yes, he accidentally revealed it while they were stranded. But he was accepted cuz hey, life is hard plus you’re happy. It’s not hurting us. Small lil facts, since Akiharu did not have the tools we have today to transition, he improvised his. He practiced lowering his voice to pass as a man, and he used medical bandages to bind. At least he used to do that until the Master of Reality (oc, not canon to the show) saw that wasn’t the best for Akiharu’s ribcage and lungs. So the Master of Reality gave Akiharu top surgery. Does it make sense, not really. But Reality is not letting his friend die from chest problems.

Oh, Akiharu is also pansexual. He thought finding everyone attractive was normal cuz everyone is hot. Especially Queen of the Departed. That’s his lover and he will gush about her + how lucky he is to have her.

Now onto the Master of Fire, Sai. Bisexual serpentine. And while his father was an asshole, the serpentine actually had more leeway on who they could love. They didn’t really believe in having people match them with someone compatible, you just love who your heart tells you to. It was common to find two women in love and two men in love. Sometimes the women even hand off their egg offsprings to other family who can’t kids. Now because of this, Sai did not see a problem with who his teammates found attractive. This was the norm for him.

Now, finally, the Master of Ice, Yukito. He doesn’t really have a gender. He just exists. He is more masc leaning and uses masculine terms, but his gender is just nonexistent. He is demisexual as well. When he first met his companions, he didn’t open or express himself to them. They were just mortals who happened to have elemental powers like him. That is until they complete their first adventure together, and he begins to grow a fondness for them. And that fondness grew into falling in love that he also mistook for platonic feelings.

With all that, I reiterate

If these guys did not marry their wives and they weren’t in the “before time had a name” era, they would have married each other.

Thank you for coming to My Ted talk

#ninjago #mask talks #first elemental masters #first elemental master

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mymindisacage · 8 months ago

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A DAISY PUSHER — CHAPTER TWO

The Painting at the End of the Stairs

Word Count: 5,964

description: sylvia goes away for the week.

a/n: hey guys please tell me if theres inconsistencies in my writing. usually theres a literal month or two between when i write each chapter because i forget my book exists and im worried i forget things ive solidified in canon... please do enjoy this because i keep forgetting abt this even though its my lifes work...........

“—And I told her that she can suck my big fat balls.” Anastasia chuckled.

“You don’t have balls, Anastasia,” I responded.

“The point still stands, you weirdo.”

“Yeah, stop being a big fat party pooper, Syl’,” Emily told me.

I picked up my lunch. I had a homemade ham and cheese sandwich, pineapple chunks, and a bag of salted almonds. Zorion always tried to convince me that the school lunch was the best thing on the planet, but I never believed him. During freshman year, I got food poisoning from the school’s food. I don’t remember what it was, but it was gross.

“Sylvia,” Klara started, chewing and covering her mouth. “Did anything cool happen in class today?”

“Um…” I mumbled.

“While we’re young, Sylvia.” Anastasia groaned.

“Sorry. Some girls looked at me like I stabbed their mother when I walked into the bathroom. They were doing their makeup or something, I don’t remember.”

“Wow, I hate chicks like that.” Emily nodded.

“Thank god I use the dude’s restroom.” Zorion groaned. “They just fingerboard on my stall and turn all the lights off.”

“Whoa. They do what?” I gaped.

“They… fingerboard and turn all the lights off?”

“Yeah, why?”

“They’re crazy.”

“God, dudes are scary—”

“Oh, that’s not even it!”

“Here we go again…”

“I remember in eighth grade, some kids would run full-force at the door. The locks rarely ever worked, so a lot of the time they’d just burst in while I was trying to take a shit. Now, because I’m trans, they were probably just attacking me because they recognized me by my shoes. Middle school dudes are a million times worse than high school dudes because they have so many of the worst aspects one could have. Audacity.”

“At least dudes let you know they hate you.” Anastasia groaned, talking while chewing. “Chicks just stare at you and giggle.”

“Anastasia, I hope you get jumped today.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

I looked over at everyone else’s plates as they talked. They were nearly finished with their lunches, and I was barely starting. I took nibbles at my sandwich, but I wasn’t particularly thrilled to eat it. I took the fork out of my lunchbox and began eating my pineapple chunks, but I still wouldn’t eat them. I just sat and played with them.

I ended up eating my bag of almonds. I never got hungry during school. I had a small stomach and quickly digested food, so I wasn’t very suited for meals. I snacked through the day. People would say it wasn’t healthy for me, but I tried to mix in fruits and nuts and lunch meat during the day. I would always eat what people deemed sides at meals because the main dishes were harsh on my stomach. I always felt rude.

I zipped my sandwich back into its bag and closed the plastic container my pineapple was in, zipping it into my lunchbox. I kept my almonds out and munched on them as the chatter filled my ears and I sat, listening.

“My brother got a girlfriend.” Emily groaned.

“Woah, woah,” Anastasia gaped. “You have a brother?”

“Anastasia. You have been friends with me since you were in elementary school. Tell me you know my goddamn brother.”

“Dude,” Klara cackled, banging on the table. “You didn’t know about her brother?”

“No?” Anastasia responded, shock filling her face. “Who the hell is he?”

“He’s probably in your classes. He’s that ginger Freshman.” Emily told her.

Emily sat up from her place in her seat and looked around the cafeteria so she could search for her brother. She sat down and began speaking again.

“Okay, Anastasia,” Klara said, turning around and pointing. “Look for a tall, skinny, ginger kid over yonder.”

“Um…” Anastasia mumbled. “Holy shit, Andrew’s your brother?”

“What, you know him?”

“Yeah, my girl Savannah is dating him.”

“Oh, my god. Small world, I guess.”

“We live in the middle of nowhere. It is a small world.”

I checked my watch. It read twelve thirteen, which was two minutes before lunch ended. I began putting my things away and into my bag, and everyone at the table followed. I wouldn’t tell them, but I loved eating with them. I loved sitting with them and learning about how Anastasia didn’t know Emily’s brother until now. I was grateful to have friendship, no matter how little I showed it to others.

“Guys, I’m going to my class,” I began. “I’ll see you later.”

I began walking, but Zorion followed.

“Don’t forget, you have little ol’ me in your fifth period!” He beamed.

“Thanks, Zorion,” I mumbled. “You ruined math class for me.”

I walked to class as he rambled on about things I didn’t care enough about to take an interest in on my own, but he was my brother. I cared about what he liked, so I let him ramble.

“So me and Klara—” He started.

“Klara and I, Zorion.” I corrected him.

“Klara and I were hanging out yesterday, remember? We went to McDonald’s or Wendy’s or something…”

“You went to Subway, Zorion.”

“Same thing!”

“Those aren’t remotely similar.”

“They sell sandwiches. We were at Subway and I was eating my footlong, and we were talking about something I don’t remember, but the funniest song came on over the speakers while I was talking, so we just stared at each other for a few seconds before I started laughing. Then, I started choking on my sandwich.”

“Ah. That was so interesting, thank you for that.”

“Dude, you’re so mean to me sometimes, you—”

He ran into the door trying to turn into it. It swung in his face because it didn’t have a stopper.

“Ow! Fuck, that hurt!” He whimpered, holding his head in his hands.

“Language, Zorion.” I reminded him, hitting his arm.

“Oh, bite me.”

We walked to our table, where we sat next to each other. He sat to my left. I unpacked the contents of my backpack needed for math class. My graph paper notebook, pencil case, and laptop. Zorion seemed neglectful of what he had to do in that class and was doodling on his hand with a dry-erase marker. The teacher started attendance and Zorion continued doodling with his chin against the table. It was astonishing how he could sit like that all day. Though he did have horrible back pain he made a point of complaining about it, so it’s not like he’s free of ailments.

“Sylvia? Sylvia Becker?” The teacher called.

“Oh, I’m here,” I replied, shooting my hand up.

“Okay. Zoe Becker?”

“I’m here,” Zorion mumbled, putting his head down on the table.

I looked at him. He congested his posture and moved his hands to the top of his head, clutching his hair lightly and letting his cheek rest on the cold table. I put my hand on his back and patted him gently. I tried to be comforting.

“It’s— I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

I wanted to say “It’s okay”, but it wasn’t okay. He had told the teacher many times about his name since the first day of school, even emailing his teachers in advance. He tried so hard just for that to happen. It wasn’t okay.

“No, it’s not your fault,” He mumbled. “Don’t be sorry, Syl’.”

“Oh, sorry.”

I did it again. I would always apologize to people. I would apologize to the point where sorry wasn’t a word I meant anything through anymore. He sat up and began rummaging through his backpack for something. He pulled his sketchbook out and began doodling when the teacher began her lesson. I watched Zorion doodle for quite some time as the teacher gave us notes to take. He poured his feelings into art, I knew he did.

I never had anything to pour my feelings into. I had music, but I couldn’t write music if my life depended on it. I often tried to explain my feelings through instrumental songs, ones where the guitars told the story. Or I had songs where the lyrics were there for the ambiance.

We were told to pull our computers out, and I followed through. Zorion did too, but he was way more off-task than I was. He just sat and played MineSweeper or other games, while I tried to do my work.

Maybe I poured my feelings into my work. I would often find myself doing my homework, a habit many wished for. I would put everything I had into my work because it was all I had. In band, I tried so hard to be the best trumpet player in the band. I dreamt of going into drum corps, but those programs exceeded four thousand dollars.

I looked again at Zorion to see him asleep on his desk. His head was in between the nook of his arms and the back of his pink head of hair faced me. I could hear him breathing, but I could hear everybody breathing. I decided to leave him alone.

Students began to pack up their belongings as the clock ticked ever closer to the end of fifth period, so I nudged Zorion on his shoulder and he shot up, mumbling about something he was dreaming about. He packed up his things quickly and stood by the door, waiting as if nothing had happened. I rushed to meet with him and he was swaying on his feet.

“That’s so embarrassing!” He groaned.

“You just fell asleep,” I muttered. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yes, it is!”

“No, it’s not.”

“Whatever.”

“Anyways—” He said, getting cut off by the bell as students began filing out. “—See you at home.”

“Bye, Zorion,” I responded.

I had one more class to get through. American Sign Language II. If I could just get through sixth period, I would be free to go home. I didn’t have a seventh period class, I made it so I wouldn’t. I took four core classes and two electives, but Marching Band gave me credit for P.E., so I didn’t take it. However, during concert season, I had zero period, so a free seventh period didn’t really shorten my school day, it just kept them at their usual time.

I sat at my desk and listened to the teacher bore on to those who would listen, while occasionally reminding the class that she was the one in charge. Next to me were people whispering to each other in an attempt not to get caught by the teacher, but we all knew it was them filling the classroom with noise. It was always so painfully obvious who was talking that whispering was just for fun at that point.

Eventually, the class began to pack up and I finally got the chance to be alone. Emily had a free period the year before, but her ambitions were not fit for a seven-period schedule, so she took the extra class: Psychology. I’d wanted to take it, but the class was limited to Juniors and Seniors.

I pulled my headphones over my head as I left campus, walking at what I deemed a “leisurely pace”. I made my way through campus and left the doors of the school and began enjoying the scenery of the outside world. Despite what everyone else thought, I could hear through my headphones, and I heard my name through muffled conversation.

“Dude… Sylvia’s right there!” I caught through the muffled noise of my headphones, prompting me to turn the song off and walk slowly so I could hear them.

“Shut up, she can’t hear us,” The second voice said. “She has her headphones on.”

I turned my head around to see Zorion and Anastasia, who appeared to be walking somewhere I wasn’t going. We made brief eye contact before Anastasia and Zorion attempted to run off, but Anastasia fell flat on her face in the wet grass.

“God dammit!” She yelped, shooting up and clutching her skirt in her hands. “Is my hair okay?”

“Is it ever okay?” Zorion laughed.

“Shut up, Zorion,” She spat, turning to me. “If you say anything to Ma, you’re dead.”

“You guys do know I don’t care if you ditch, right?” I interjected, staring at Anastasia.

“Oh. C’mon Zorion, let’s go.”

“Ope, bye, Sylvia!” Zorion grinned, running off.

They always saw me as this rule-abiding saint, when that wasn’t who I was. I wasn’t the kid to remind you of the syllabus or the student handbook, I would just mind my own business; It’s what worked best for me. To stay as inconspicuous as possible and go unnoticed was often the ‘goal’ of the social aspect of school, as I never liked people having opinions about me.

Of course, school was more than that to me, I loved many aspects of school. I loved band, I loved math, and I loved things that made sense to me. I loved performing. When I said that, nobody would understand, but I loved performing. I lived for performance. Since Freshman year, I have found an unusual fondness for field shows. I loved field show and the nature of tournaments.

As I walked down residential roads, the trees narrowed in closer to the street, the leaves covering the hot September sun. Though, at the end of this street, there was a blinking stop sign. It ruined the general look of the street, but what did I care?

Cars revved by me and I passed other students, students I recognized and could tell you nothing about. Parents parked on this street, so I passed many students sitting on the curb in front of houses, or maybe standing on the sidewalk. I walked home, I loved walking. Marching band combined with my love to walk gave me chiseled, masculine calves. I wasn’t fond of it.

Soon enough, I pushed my way onto my street and entered through the back to see someone I didn’t expect to see so early. My mother.

“Mom?” I mumbled, wondering why she was home so early. Worrying why she was home so early. “What happened, are you okay?”

I set my things down as she began to talk, her accent thin from her time in the Midwest. While it had been spread out over time, her dull tone still revealed her Russian heritage when she said certain words.

“Nothing, Sylvia, it is nothing.” She said, shooing me away. “We’ll talk later, I am on the phone.”

“Oh. Okay.” I muttered, picking my things off the floor.

Ma began shuffling papers together, and I noticed a picture frame on the table before it quickly joined her pile. I looked around and a frame from above the television was missing. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the picture was, thinking for a few seconds to no avail. I turned to the stairs and for the first time noticed the painting. It was a grayscale image of a living room with a colored, glowing bassinet in the middle. In the bottom right was a signature, the signature of my mother.

I walked up to my room, ignoring the painting as it took a permanent space in my subconscious. I changed into flowier clothes that allowed me to lounge better, consisting of no shirt, a sweater, and no pants. I lay on my bed and quickly escaped into unconsciousness. The bed, blanket, and pillow wrapped around me as my body consumed my conscious mind in its effort to recharge.

To no surprise, I was awoken too soon by Zorion calling my name. I checked my clock and it was four o'clock. I grumbled, itching my eyes, and Zorion called my name and ordered me to come downstairs. I, somewhat begrudgingly, left my bed and grabbed a skirt from my dresser. As I ran down the stairs, I pulled it over my legs and fastened the zipper. I glanced at the painting again. It had gained a residence in my mind until I talked about it. I stood next to the stairs and Zorion, Anastasia, and Ma were sitting on the couch.

“Dude, finally, Ma said she wanted to tell us something,” Zorion groaned, putting his phone down. “Sylvia, this is an intervention!”

“No it’s not, Zorion, please be serious,” Ma scolded with her hands in her lap. “Sit down, Sylvia.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I said, finger-combing my hair and sitting down on the couch.

She cleared her throat and began talking. “I know you all noticed I am home quite early, and I have called you here to tell you that you are going to need to take the next few days off of school. I am traveling abroad to take care of family business, simply formalities. You three will be staying with your uncle.”

Groans emerged from Zorion and Anastasia, while I remained unphased.

“Uncle Nick, Ma?” Zorion whined, clutching his face and throwing his head off of the arm of the loveseat he was lying on.

“Yes, and you need to stop complaining or I will make your stay much worse. I have emailed your teachers and they said that you can do your work online and that any tests will be made up next week because I know you three would not do it if I did not.”

I got the point. We would go to Uncle Nick’s for four days, not including Tuesday night and Sunday morning. Zorion and Anastasia complained as Ma rattled on about how she hadn’t seen her family in decades, but I snapped back to the conversation when Ma started talking about packing bags.

“If you three would pack now and we leave by five, I will pick up dinner for you.”

“Ooh! Guys, hurry, I want Sonic.” Anastasia yelped, running up to her room.

“Hell no! I want chicken!” Zorion yelled, following suit.

I hated chicken. It was rarely made well and was often too dry and stringy for my liking. I did not want chicken, but I also didn’t want to go to Uncle Nick’s, so I assume nobody gets what they want in this world. I quickly rushed to my room and began packing. I brought a jacket, two sweaters, six shirts, four pairs of pants, two pairs of shorts, eight pairs of underwear and five bras. I packed my school computer, school binder, music binder, and sketchbook, as well as my trumpet. I brought chargers for my phone, computer, and headphones, as well as an extra phone charger in case Zorion or Anastasia needed one.

I walked downstairs to wait on the couch to see that Zorion had finished before I did. I sat down and put my hands on my lap.

“Zorion, did you pack?” I queried.

“Yeah, why do you think I’m here?” He scoffed.

I picked up his duffle bag and it felt like the only thing in it was his computer and a pair of socks.

“Zorion, what’s in this?”

“Clothes, my laptop, chargers.”

“How many shirts?”

“One.” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“One? One?”

“Yeah, the two I’m wearing now equals three but...”

“Did you pack any underwear?”

“Yeah. Two pairs.”

“Two?! You are insufferable.”

“Well… front side, backside, inside-out, backside inside out? A single item of clothing can last me a week as long as I shower.”

“Shut up, Zorion.”

Time went by. When I sat on the couch, it was four thirty-six, and the clock ticked to five, and when it hit four fifty, I called for Anastasia.

“Anastasia, come down!” I called.

“Wait, I’m almost done!” She huffed loudly.

“You’re not even finished?” Zorion laughed.

Anastasia came barreling downstairs, holding her bag across her body. She was leaning as if when she stood up straight she’d fall over.

“Anastasia, what is in there?” I groaned.

“Huh..?” She mumbled, blinking quickly at me before responding. “Oh! My bag, my bag! Yeah, I packed clothes, makeup, clothes… Um… A jacket.”

“Gosh… Am I the only sensible person right now?” I groaned, holding the bridge of my nose. “Ma, we’re done!”

“Good, please get in the car,” Ma called from her room, audibly gathering her things.

Anastasia, Zorion, and I ran out to the car, Zorion, and Anastasia arguing over the front seat. Ma came out, her suitcase in hand. She clicked her keys, unlocking the driver’s seat.

“Mom, can I have the front seat?” Zorion whined.

“No, I want it!” Anastasia cried.

“Neither of you two gets it now, Sylvia can sit up front,” Ma said coldly.

Thank the stars. I would always get nauseous if I sat in the backseat. As Ma opened the trunk, she unlocked the other doors of the car. I preferred to sit with my things, but the others put them in the back. We started driving and Zorion and Anastasia argued about where they wanted to eat, but Ma pulled into Sonic, not bothering to ask anybody in the car.

“Hell yeah!” Anastasia exclaimed, telling Ma her exact order.

Zorion groaned, but I just zoned out before telling my mother that I wanted a corn dog. After I ate my food, I sank into my seat and shut my eyes, longing for the touch of sleep once again. My eyes drifted back into my skull as the dark vignette of sleep consumed my brain.

“Sylvia, wake up, we are here.” My mother whispered, shaking me lightly.

“Huh..?” I mumbled, opening my eyes. “Oh. Uncle Nick’s.”

I grabbed my things and checked my watch. It read seven forty-eight. I shuffled the limbs of my body to wake them up, quickly grabbing my bag off the floor of the car and stepping out. Anastasia stood with her arms crossed, making quiet conversation with Zorion as they both awaited being let into the house.

The sun just barely dipped below the horizon, painting streaks of pink across the sky before fading off into a deep blue. The dark, warm air hugged my skin as I mindlessly approached Zorion and Anastasia. They were rattling on about how much they wanted to go back home until someone emerged from the front door of the house. It was Nicolai.

He said nothing, simply gestured that we could come in with his hand, and went back inside. His dark blonde hair was gelled down to his scalp and he wore a light blue button-up shirt with a pair of khaki dress pants. He walked back into the house and the three of us followed quickly.

“Fuck, man, I don’t want to be here.” Zorion groaned quietly.

“Shh… Shh…” Anastasia hushed. “He’s right there.”

A chill ran through my spine as we walked into the front door and we were all addressed.

“Zoechka, Silvushka, Nastya! Hello, you three.” Uncle Nicolai spoke. His use of diminutives showed his love for us, as they were used with affection.

His accent was thick, and as the feeling of uncertainty and distance set in, I felt alone. I felt different. Different from everyone in my whole family, my whole world. He stood next to the stove, cooking what was dinner for seven.

“Masha, you are here.” He smiled, his face lighting up.

My mother’s name was Mariya, but her family referred to her as Masha. His tone had more inflection than I had ever heard in a voice like his as he talked with my mother in Russian. His cold expression was one I couldn’t read, one I couldn’t learn. Ma’s, however, was distressed as she rambled on with only simple words flooding to me as she spoke.

Uncle Nick simply looked at his son to signal to him what he wanted, and he followed his silent request. He shooed us out of the kitchen, pushing us to the living room. Amelia sat on a cushion closest to the wall on the couch that faced the back windows. As Zorion and Anastasia sat on the couch, she tensed in fear at the sudden interruption.

“Oh. Hello, you two.” She grinned, her soft voice reflecting an accent as well.

They clamored on, but I quickly sat down at a chair facing the living room entrance. Nicolai stood to the right of it, the side without couches, with his hands behind his back. He had a cold expression on his face as he stood, looking dead as always. His face resembled his father's every time I saw him.

As I stared more and more intensely, we locked eyes. I quickly looked away, making sure I couldn’t see any part of his body at all. I did the one thing I could do: Pull my headphones over my head and play on my phone. I was always the outcast. Unlike Nicolai, who had things to do and people to relate to, I had nothing and nobody. Nothing to do and nobody to relate to.

I wasn’t tired. I’d slept so many times that day that sleep became something unimportant to me. I stared off into space as I fully grasped the situation around me as if my eyes were sucked into my brain for just a brief moment, but I was finally alive and could process what was going on. My mind rattled, a disgusting, eerie sound, as my mind raced, yet I came up fruitless. No reasons could come to my mind as to why I was there.

Then, it clicked in my mind. The one person I was sure knew was Nicolai. Yet he saw me as someone otherworldly, not in a good way. He saw everyone as inferior, especially women, so getting a straight answer out of him would be one of the hardest social interactions I’d have to have. I had to do it, though, and I knew I would.

Eventually, I mustered up what little courage I had to talk to the one relative my age who genuinely frightened me. I got up from my seat in the oddly comfortable chair I was sitting in and approached Nicolai, still standing next to the doorway.

“What do you want?” He spat, his cold gaze unmoving. His accent was nearly as thick as his father’s.

“Why am I here?” I asked, quietly. “Why are any of us here?”

Nicolai physically turned his head to look at me, and the look he wore was pure disgust and shock.

“Do not act that way, Sylvia, you are not dumb.” He said, looking away from me and back to the wall. He was ungiving.

“Listen, you need to tell me, I don’t under—”

“You do not understand? What is there not to understand?”

“Hey don’t cut me off.”

“Sylvia, you will follow the same path your father has. It has been laid out in front of you like a devastating work of art.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“If you are too idiotic to understand that, I guess you are just like him. Now, get.” He shooed me off with his hands, but I remained relentless and stood where I was.

“What do you not understand, Sylvia? Get.”

“No! Not until you tell me what is going on here.”

He looked at me weirdly before he called his father in his mother tongue, something about dinner. Quickly, he left his post next to the entryway and went into the kitchen to set up the dinner table. Zorion, Anastasia, and Amelia sat on the couch, laughing. I sat quietly next to them on the floor, playing with my hair.

“Look who joined the party!” Anastasia laughed.

“Hi, Amelia,” I said, ignoring Anastasia.

“Hello, Silvushka!” Amelia responded, her face lighting up. “Oh, you three, it is almost dinner time, I see Kolya setting up the table.”

She had referred to me with a diminutive, which warmed me, as I knew the history behind them. It took me a bit to understand who Kolya was, but I saw Nicolai setting up the table in the background. It was a weird nickname in my opinion, as it had a K and a Y, and completely rearranged the other letters of his name.

She got up from her seat and I looked at what she was wearing. She wore a black, short-sleeved button-up and an ankle-length, brown, pleated skirt. Her wavy, brunette hair was different from her brother's straight blonde hair, something I had never noticed before. It was shoulder length, but the back was up in a small tuft of a ponytail. She clearly hadn’t brushed her hair in a few days, but I understood. Hair is awful, sometimes.

She made an indiscernible conversation with her father, who just stared at her with the same look Nicolai had looked at me. It was like it was genetic, the only face the two of them could make. His son, however, walked not past the entrance of the kitchen to alert us that dinner was ready and that we needed to come to the table.

As I sat at the dinner table, my body tensed. The atmosphere was rigid and thick like I was swimming in snow. There was a bench that touched the wall, two chairs facing the wall, and two more chairs on the sides of the table. I sat in the chair closest to the basement, the one on the side of the table. Ma was sitting to my right in a chair, and as everyone picked their seats, Uncle Nicolai began serving food in the seven bowls his son had laid out.

Nicolai sat down before the other three did, and he stared at me the whole time. He looked at me above his glasses, which had a beaded chain that went around his neck. For the brief moment we locked eyes, I felt uneasy.

Zorion sat next to me, Anastasia sat next to him, and Amelia sat next to her. Unlike Zorion and Anastasia, she was silent. Her hands were on the table, staring blankly. As Uncle Nicolai finally plated his bowl of food, he somewhat awkwardly patted my mother’s back. Something was wrong. I knew something was wrong and I didn’t know. I didn’t know what was wrong.

“Masha would like to speak about our arrangement before we begin eating.” Uncle Nicolai said, sitting down.

“Yes, I would, thank you,” Ma said. “I know I haven’t always been on the… best terms with my family, so you three have my eternal gratitude for taking care of my children on such short notice. I am leaving for Germany to take care of family business tomorrow morning. I expect you three to respect my brother and the rules of his home, please.”

Uncle Nicolai made a gesture, in which Amelia and Nicolai started eating. I followed, picking at the odd sausage and gravy mixture in my bowl. Chatter made its way across the table, but it wasn’t much. Somehow, even Zorion and Anastasia were reduced to whispers. The loudest anyone would talk was Uncle Nicolai scolding anybody who put their elbows on his table.

Amelia and Zorion ate quickly like they had somewhere to be. Nicolai, much like his mannerisms, ate slowly, yet faster than I did. Ma ate with haste, as she did have somewhere to be in the morning. As Zorion and Amelia finished their food, the four others were only halfway done. I, however, wasn’t close to halfway done. As everyone finished their dinner, I found myself just halfway done with my food, eventually sitting alone at the table.

“Uncle Nicolai, I can’t eat all this food,” I mumbled.

“I made that for you, you will sit at this table until you are done.” He said coldly.

“Kolka, she has a small stomach,” Ma said, washing her dish.

“No, Masha, she will eat what I made for her.”

“You’ve always been like this Nicolai, you won’t listen.”

They continued to fight in Russian as I tried to eat the rest of my soup, but my mother took it from me.

“Sylvia, I’ll eat it,” She said, a cold smile on her face. “Please, go set up in the living room, it’s almost time for bed.”

I hurried off in fear to the living room, where Anastasia was blowing up an air mattress she pulled out of god knows where. I stared blankly as she pumped air into the mattress, Amelia bouncing her hands on it every few seconds.

“Oh my— Anastasia, where did you get that?” I sighed.

“Well,” She giggled. “If it matters so much, I brought it. This couch messes up my back.”

“Dude. You brought a whole mattress?”

“Yeah. Are you mad you have to sleep on the furniture?”

“No.”

“Sounds like you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

Anastasia set the pump down and lay on the mattress, loudly groaning. She was trying to flaunt her one smart moment to everyone.

“Oh, you three, it is time for bed. Goodnight.” Amelia sputtered, rushing to her room as quickly as she could without running.

The heels of Nicolai’s shoes clicked quietly against the wood of the hallway, and he quietly walked off to his room. As the noise from the four of us died down, the hushed argument from the kitchen dripped into the living room. I listened, trying to understand what little words I knew, but Zorion and Anastasia were too loud.

“Shut up Zorion!” Anastasia giggled, bouncing on her bed.

“You shut up, this is why you’re adopted!” Zorion spat back.

“Oh my god,” Anastasia gasped satirically. “I’m adopted?”

The volume of her statement was unknown to herself and even Zorion, who kept talking. I, however, noticed that once Anastasia said what she said, the argument stopped. The hard clacks of Uncle Nicolai’s shoes were much different than his son’s, though it might have been because he was upset.

“We do not yell past ten.” He yelled, quite hypocritically.

Anastasia stared and nodded her head, while Zorion fiddled with his fingers.

“I’m sorry,” Anastasia mumbled.

Uncle Nicolai scoffed and turned the ceiling light off, walking to his room. He left Ma in the kitchen, but I didn’t want to wait for her to come out. Zorion turned onto his side, looking away from us and onto the couch. Anastasia tossed and turned until Ma came into the doorway, where she shot up.

“Goodnight, you three.” She whispered, walking off.

“Night, Ma,” Zorion mumbled, somehow already nearing sleep.

I said nothing. I sat upright for some time, listening to Anastasia tossing around and Zorion’s soft snoring. Honestly, some would just describe it as heavy breathing. The shirt I wore irritated my neck, but no matter how many times I pulled it away from me, it came back just as fast. I laid down on the throw pillow on the couch, too lazy to bring out my own.

I stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t mine, it was different. The couch wasn’t mine, the room wasn’t mine. None of this was as familiar as my room and that made it so hard to sleep no matter my exhaustion. I was always like this when I went to someone’s house, but it was worse here because I couldn’t stay up until I dropped, I had things to do.

The air conditioning whirred, Anastasia mumbled, and Zorion breathed. So many noises in that one room accompanied by the sound of my breathing was too much to handle. I reached for my phone and headphones on the floor. In the time it took me to turn my headphones on and play music through them, my heartbeat was strong and I was sweating cold.

Soft guitar filled my ears, and while the shirt still bothered my neck, I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything outside of what I was doing. I stared at the ceiling once more, longing for my room. The longest week of my life was ahead of me, I knew it.

#꒰ a daisy pusher ꒱#— 🌐 ꒰ chapter ꒱#original work #original story #original character lore #original character #oc #oc lore #writer #artist #fiction #writeblr #creative writing #content creation

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logickally · 9 months ago

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Disclaimer: For context, this post is a response to comments made by "dreamsaremywords," regarding "nerdishpursuits" (Paula's) answer to the question above. As such, my aim in writing this was/is to provide logical feedback and criticism of what it means to be a trans ally, a trans person, and a woman.

To begin, the reason I’m addressing your comments is because I was a copilot on Paula’s journey through Rowling’s essay and the many cancel culture and trans videos we watched. Before I dissect some of the points you’ve made I would like to clarify that, like Paula, I’m not interested in warring over differences of opinion. I respect your views even as I’m aware I don’t agree with them. If, at any point, what I have said upsets you, please know this is not my intention. I adore debate, so I’m inclined to respond passionately. My entire response will appear in my reblog.

“A very slippery slope,” is an oft-used statement by conservatives to discourage progress regarding human rights. I have never agreed with its use because it is meant to inspire fear about potential outcomes. Republican politicians used to say things like, “If we let men marry other men then people will start having sex with animals. It's a slippery slope.” This is a logical fallacy because we cannot know what outcomes will occur without committing to a path. Similarly, assuming the worst destination is the inevitable result is a fallacy. I know being a “centrist” seems impossible given today’s political climate and the histrionics on social media, but it is paramount to listen to both sides. I have taken that journey and so has Paula.

The reality is this: Neither conservatives or liberals will claim me because I do not buy into the entirety of either’s rhetoric. I suspect most people hold values that clash with their chosen party but do not share them out of a place of fear - now more than ever. This is a point I concede to conservatives even though I find MAGA and Trump abhorrent and will vote for Biden. Fascism versus democracy is not nuanced. However, it is possible to think trans issues are more nuanced than liberals would like the public to believe.

At some point, the requirement for being a trans ally went from being accepting of trans people to supporting every trans person’s ethics in government and medical policy. I support any person’s right to seek medical treatment that affirms their gender. Period. As a lesbian, I know what it feels like to finally fit into society in a way that validates your existence. I want that for everyone. But, that doesn’t mean I am required to agree about the ethics of HRT, especially as it pertains to children. Given the age of sexual consent is 18 in most states, I believe it is fair to require children to be 18 before making life-altering changes to their bodies through surgery, HRT, or hormone blockers. I would prefer transition was delayed until the age of 20 and for hormone blockers to be banned, but I’m also happy to accept “compromise” — a word that seems to be missing in the trans debate. I must either accept that 3 year-old children can transition, and yes it happens (as evidenced by a study at Princeton), or be a transphobe.

While I understand that, for trans people, waiting to become who they are is a hellish experience and it can lead to suicide, I also think being a child is agony. Growing up, for me, was hell. I wanted to commit suicide regularly because I was a girl who liked girls. At one point I wished to be a boy. Now, at 42, I’m thankful I didn’t have the option because I would have made the wrong choice. According to most psychologists, the formation of one’s identity doesn’t conclude until their mid-twenties. So, I don’t trust a 10-year-old child to keep their promise to care for a puppy (which is why adults who get pets for their children need to be prepared to shoulder that responsibility), let alone decide their gender identity and sexual orientation (and I knew I was a lesbian at 16). Children with gender dysphoria need counseling and love and support from their family and friends FIRST. Then, if they’d like to transition, they can do so at an age where they can accept responsibility for their decision.

This is a perfectly logical viewpoint. It accepts and loves trans people. It compromises on age requirements. It also protects children from making radical changes to their bodies without proper care or consideration. This is the middle. But, because it does not wholly agree with the ethics supplied by the most vocal in the trans community, it is considered transphobic. I think liberals are lucky that Paula and I are rational people and don’t strictly align ourselves with a political party, because it is easy to see how less educated people might be pushed towards conservative ideologies when they can’t express a difference of opinion without being labeled as part of a hate group.

Now on to some of your particular points. It is hypocritical to say it’s important to consider all sides of a debate only to follow that up with, “‘Presenting it as very logical and ‘there’s two sides to every story!’ is a deliberate tactic.’” This suggests if Paula and I listen to those who disagree with liberals about trans issues that we are being hoodwinked with false rhetoric. This insinuates that there’s only one right way to examine social justice issues. Your way. This is why you perceive the information we are digesting as “dangerous.” This is not a centrist viewpoint. It’s a radical viewpoint because it immediately disqualifies information gathered from another group of people as false. According to this logic, if there were truth in what this group was saying, we would have arrived at your point of view. This is also a fallacy.

I cannot understand why liberals, especially because they are often intellectuals, believe the use of “logic” is bad simply because the other side uses it. I assume conservatives use toilets since they pitched an unwarranted fit about transwomen using them. Should I stop using a toilet because conservatives use them? The problem isn’t “logic,” it’s willful intent to harm others. So, on the topic of logic, I don’t believe trans people are lesser than myself. I support their right to be treated as equals, to enjoy as much peace and freedom as I do, and to have a seat at the table to discuss social issues. The line I have drawn in the sand is between the acceptance of trans people and adopting the ethics of vocal trans people. Just because I accept someone for how they identify doesn’t mean I am required to agree with them about policy.

With regards to J.K. Rowling, I began on the side of liberals because I assumed that the trans community was correct in its assessment. I cannot begin to express my despair after reading her essay. It was a reminder that I was wrong to trust headlines in media and wrong to trust people who only read headlines in media. As someone who has poured my heart and soul into research for my career for decades, I was and still am ashamed. Since that time, I’ve visited dozens of links, videos, and articles that proclaim Rowling is a transphobe. By and large, these resources come from the trans community and are disappointing to read. People do not know what a “transphobe” is – a fear of trans people. This is not true of Rowling or myself as evidenced throughout this post.

How is it that people who use science to advocate for climate change can’t understand there is a biological difference between a woman who was born a woman and a woman who was born a man? Why are we arguing semantics? What is this? Science has classifications for frogs FFS. Some are called toads. What are we doing? I will happily call a transwoman “she/her” and reinforce her gender identity, but let’s not pretend we are the same thing. We aren’t. This is good because it means more voices and more representation at the table. Transwomen are facing struggles I will never fully understand but will sympathize with and they deserve to have their voices heard. But the same is true for women. We do not need to be part of the same label (women) to deserve respect and kindness.

Additionally, I do not understand why it is required for gays and lesbians to refer to themselves as such, but transwomen are allowed to co-opt “women” for their use. Should we start calling gays and lesbians “heterosexuals” because we’re uncomfortable with the optics of being different? Being a transwoman is not shameful. Ergo, implying there is shame in using “transwoman” as a label to define a person means that radical liberals are being contradictory and prejudiced toward the people they’re claiming to protect. For example, a TERF, by definition, is exclusionary to “trans” people. If trans people don't exist because they are “men” and “women,” then whose rights are liberals championing? Logic follows that if we are to accept, love, and nurture the trans community they need to acknowledge themselves for who they are. Make trans sports leagues. I will watch and support trans athletes.

In summary, Rowling is not a transphobe. She is against the erasure of women and issues related to biological women. That is not hate. That is a fact. I’m sorry I can’t call down whatever god or goddess is needed to change this reality for trans people. I would if I could because it would put a stop to all this unnecessary hate. I just want them to be happy. But, I’m tired of feeling like transwomen are drowning out the voices of biological women. If they want to be a part of the “women’s” label, they need to care about all women’s voices, not just their own. Wanting to compromise on protections for children who need to transition is not hate. Wanting to have my unique voice represented at the table is not hate. Oppressing people whose views disagree with your own by calling them a transphobe is hate.

Can you elaborate on your tags about reading jk Rowlings original post?

Just that I admit that at first, when the JKR discourse started back in the day, I didn’t actually go and read the essay she published on her blog, which is the one that started the entire thing. I did go and read it, eventually, because I tend to like forming my own opinions on things. Personally, I didn’t see any evidence of transphobia. Same with her tweets. Sure, she’s a sarcastic troll some days because she’s, probably, tired of this topic. She was arguing there is such a thing as biological sex and people transition from one to the other in order to embrace living authentically. And that kids should be kids as they have no way to consent. They need to be left alone, or helped to make informed decisions they’ll not regret later in life. Perfectly fine and I’m very much supportive of that.

Everyone should love and live as they please, and no one has the right to ostracize them for it. What she called problematic was the complete denial that biological sex exists, hormone blockers in kids who can’t really consent, self IDing as a woman without actually transitioning and some trans activists saying a biological woman’s experience doesn’t matter. I don’t see that as being transphobic. Just logic and concern.

Over the past few days my partner and I went on a deep dive on this topic and found there’s plenty trans people agreeing with JKR. We’ve seen videos of trans women competing in women’s sports and winning, then commenting they don’t care at all about the medals and winning, but simply enjoy having a good time with their friends at the gym. Why compete in the women’s weight lifting category if you don’t care about winning then? Aussie surfer Bethany Hamilton was dropped by her lifelong sponsor in favor of a trans woman who previously competed, and won, in the men’s division. Swimming, wrestling, roller skating even etc. There’s trans women out there claiming they’re the ones who know what a woman is because they’re forced to think about it, whereas a biological woman is simply born and therefore, inferior. Others who claim they experience period cramps or that their genitalia is superior to a biological woman’s etc. As far as I’ve seen. JKR and other trans people have spoken out against these kind of situations, comments and claims. That’s why I think that cancel culture is so toxic. We need to look at the whole picture and stop claiming things are black or white or the damaging adage of if you’re not with me you’re against me.

I think a very loud minority, who doesn’t represent the entirety of the trans community, might actually be doing more harm than good. Not just to the trans community, who deserves nothing but acceptance and support and love, but the rest of the LGBTQ+ community as well. Pushing a narrative too fast, and forcefully, isn’t helping. It’s actually turning people against us and it’s frustrating and depressing. Denying actual biology and elbowing your way into biological women’s spaces won’t win you their love. Calling them birthing people won’t win them over. Calling them lesser won’t open doors either.

There’s a ton of material to be found on YouTube, there’s podcasts, articles etc. Personally, I think people need to sit down and talk and debate and be diplomatic. I’m not saying JKR isn’t without her faults but I do think she’s been demonized for speaking her mind and voicing her concerns about women’s spaces and kids. It’s as if people can’t have a healthy debate anymore. We need to cancel those who don’t agree with us. It’s the all or nothing mob mentality and, personally, I’m sick of it. This is a nuanced topic and should be treated as such. But now you can’t even be a centrist anymore. You have to be for or against and nothing in between. How about we look at what’s right or wrong, for both sides, and decide accordingly. Why this inane ideological war that radicalizes people who should be having a productive conversation instead.

#trans #transwomen #women #equality #rights #ethics #policy #goverment #transmen #Rowling #jk rowling #transphobia #terf

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7fckingidiots · 4 years ago

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Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;

HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!

The Brothers With A Trans MC

Lucifer

He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.

He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.

Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner

God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much

Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM

He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar

You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)

Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)

Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)

Mammon

You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it

King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.

Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.

If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights

You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.

KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it

Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.

Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too

You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)

Levi

He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!

Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours

Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions

Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT

Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive

Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL

Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)

If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.

You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)

God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)

Satan

Enby Satan. That’s all :)

He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers

He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)

Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you

He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan

Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT

Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.

Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)

Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.

!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0

Asmo

Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO

Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......

Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!

VOICE LESSONS

He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school

Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now

Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE

Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo

He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable

ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!

He loves you so much!!!!

Beel

another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!

he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)

he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help

stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you

he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you

he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????

will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel

makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead

hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D

Belphie

you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all

are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name

if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly

he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith

calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie

will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys

like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......

introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”

he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes

he loves you, so, so much :)

298 notes · View notes

henshengs · 4 years ago

Text

About Rule 63 fanworks

I was asked yesterday to elaborate on my genderbend opinions, as a trans person, which I’m happy to do, and I’ve thought about it a bit today to make sure I’m not saying something off the cuff and not thought through. Still, this is a sensitive, complicated topic, and I’m open to discussion on it.

This also got long, so I’m putting it under a cut.

So, obviously I can’t speak for all trans people. No minority group is a monolith in our opinions and this is particularly the case for the transgender community because our experiences are so very diverse and individual.

I am very rarely hurt or offended by genderbends/genderswaps/rule 63 fanworks. I know people for whom this is not the case, and I believe the pain involved is very real. The thing is... living in this world is inherently kinda painful when you’re trans. This world’s not built for us. All kinds of random things can cause me pain throughout my day. Store mannequins. My own reflection. Lesbian poetry. Pictures of other trans people. When something triggers my dysphoria or feelings of alienation, I have to stop, acknowledge the feeling, and then consider whether the thing is, outside of hurting me, contributing to the ignorance of and hatred of people like me by its very existence.

I don’t think the basic act of asking, “What if this character who is a cis man, was a cis woman instead?” does that. I think if anything, it opens the door to then ask “what if he was a trans man? Or a trans woman? Or nonbinary?”

Asking “what if this story was about a cis woman” lets cis women talk about their experiences and see themselves in stories, something I think is valuable! and also can lead to stories exploring sexism and misogyny, things which affect all trans people too!

In the rest of this post I’m going to use the terms “rule 63″ and “genderswap” to refer to the act of creating a fanwork changing a cis/presumed cis man to a cis or not-specified-to-be-trans woman, because this is the vast majority of the work under that label, because most fictional heroes and iconic characters are cis men, and because people who create cis man->trans woman or cis woman->trans man content, in my experience, usually use terms like “trans headcanon” instead.

(A lot of rule 63 fanworks don’t explicitly specify that the now-female character is cis. We can presume that most artists aren’t even thinking about the possibility of the character being trans, but we can presume that for 99.99% of all art, anywhere. It’s not a unique evil of rule 63.)

The claims that rule 63 is inherently transphobic, rather than just something where it’s good to be extra careful to avoid transphobia, as far as I’ve seen, use two arguments: A) that making the character a cis woman is wasting an opportunity to make them a trans person, and this is transphobic, and B) that rule 63 fan art is gender essentialist and cissexist, because it ties gender to physical characteristics.

Argument A doesn’t hold up for me,

because couldn’t one then say that reimagining an abled white cis character as an abled white trans woman is racist and ableist? that reimagining them as an abled trans woman of color is ableist? No transformative reimagining can cover every identity. We say “write what you know” and talk about Own Voices, and that includes cis women who want to write about the experience they know.

It’s also not fair to tell trans people that we must always think about trans experiences, even in our fiction. A lot of the time we don’t want to have to write or think about dysphoria and discrimination and we want to live in the heads of cis characters or even just characters whose AGAB is not mentioned!

And it is also, imo, not a great idea to pressure people who may not be educated about trans experiences to write about trans characters just because they want to explore sexism or write about lesbians.

many, many trans people first begin exploring their gender identity through creating cis rule 63 content, because it’s ‘safer’ than directly engaging with trans content.

With argument B, I agree that a lot of rule 63 art looks like this

and this sucks. To me, though, it’s important that it’s not the genderswap aspect that makes it suck. Artists who do this are also designing original characters with sexist, gender essentialist designs. Artists who don’t draw sexist art in general, also don’t draw sexist rule 63.

(yes, I know She-Hulk is not a rule 63 of regular Hulk. But you guys know the kind of art I’m talking about.)

I’ve also noticed a genre of fanfic that’s like, “if these characters were girls, they’d be sensible and conflict avoidant and none of the plot would happen!” or “what if these violent, tragic male characters were Soft Lesbians who braided each others’ hair” and again, I assume these authors write canonical women the same way. The genderswap part isn’t the bad part, the sexism is.

Non-sexist rule 63 actually, in my opinion, fights gender essentialism and cissexism. When a character is exactly the same except for the ways a gender essentialist world has shaped and pressured them based on their AGAB, that’s a strong statement on the constructed nature of gender!

But the argument that making /any/ change is gender essentialist, is... I understand where it’s coming from. I am a trans person who presents androgynously and I am a hypervisible freak because of it. I would love to live in a society where visible gender markers weren’t a thing! Unfortunately, we don’t live in that society. We live in one where we are constantly under pressure to conform to one of two profiles. There are almost no gender non conforming male characters in popular media. And changing a gender conforming cis man into a gender conforming cis woman seems to me to be a neutral action at worst. Not to mention characters from historical canons, who would be under a ton of pressure to conform.

For physical body type characteristics... 65% of all speaking roles in Hollywood are cis and male. It’s harder to get statistics on other forms of media, but it’s undeniable that overall, most stories are told about cis men who do not have breasts or wide hips. Changing the story to be about a cis woman who has those features is introducing more diversity!

I typed “rule 63″ and “genderswap” into the tumblr search bar today, and I saw a lot of art of women with a variety of aesthetics and body shapes and characteristics, who looked like people I’d see out at the mall.

Again, I sure do wish we lived in a post gender society. But we don’t, and in our society, everyone, myself included, looks at a picture of a person and gender categorizes them based on appearance. It is not wrong for someone to draw “Geralt the Witcher as a hot butch woman” and give her some physical markers generally agreed upon to denote ‘butch woman’ rather than ‘gender conforming man’ to tell the viewer that that is what they have drawn. Just as it is not wrong to draw “my OC who is a hot butch woman who fights monsters” and give her those markers.

Finally, both arguments against genderswaps are, in my opinion, flawed because they implicitly posit the act of creating fanworks of the original, cis male gender conforming character design, as neutral. I think this is incorrect. I think that if you’re going to argue that drawing a cis male character as a cis woman is transphobic, you have to also argue that drawing the character as a cis man is transphobic. But I’ve only seen people do this when a trans headcanon becomes extremely popular in a fandom.

Again, I’m just one person. I’m also biased, because firstly, as I mentioned, rule 63 doesn’t usually trigger my dysphoria; secondly, I almost always come down on the side of “don’t limit what people can explore in fiction; ask them to explore it more sensitively or with more content warnings instead.”

I definitely encourage creators to seek out and listen to a variety of trans opinions. But this is mine: I love rule 63, I make a lot of it myself, and I think if no one created it we’d lose something awesome.

At the end of the day, what I really want is more trans content*, but I’d rather have cis rule 63 than just stories about cis men.

Also: I personally have nothing against the terms genderswap or genderbend. I don’t think it reinforces the gender binary to acknowledge its existence by saying you’re ‘swapping’ the character from being cis with one AGAB to being cis with the other. But I can definitely see the argument against it, so I don’t blame anyone for going with rule 63 instead.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading; I hope you have a nice day, and have fun creating and consuming the fanworks your heart desires. I’ll end by linking this comic, which is just eternally relevant.

(*by which I mean: trans content created by other trans people, that matches my hyperspecific headcanons, likes and dislikes, and doesn’t set off any of my often changing dysphoria triggers. See what I said at the start, about transgender existence being constantly mildly painful. There are many awesome aspects to being trans! This is one of the less awesome.)

#rule 63

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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 3 years ago

Text

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,919 Words

Summary: A new friend moves into the dorm.

Warnings: Death Mention, Abandonment Mention, Orphan Mention, Disownment, Cursing, Injury Mention, Blood Mention, Caps, Food Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Usernames: Existence Is A Prison Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20, Yamada: President Megaphone, Bakugou: deku-deck-you

Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 5

6:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

President Megaphone: Alright, you might have noticed dorm 10 is occupied this morning. You guys are getting another fellow dormmate.

gay salt: mon dieu. Who?

President Megaphone has added Bakugou

Bakugou: Hi, I guess.

farmer toshi has changed Bakugou's name to deku deck-you

deku deck-you: I'd kill you if you didn't risk your life for my teacher.

farmer toshi: Come kill me then, coward.

deku deck-you: No, I'm too tired.

schrodinger better run: Hey, Baku, what's your tragic backstory?

deku deck-you: What?

foil-mecha: Well, about 60% of us in here have a tragic backstory for being in the dorms. Monoma's mother abandoned him in Japan, Hagakure and Shinsou are orphans, Kuroiro's parents hate her, and Honenuki's been disowned. Me and Shiozaki are only here because our commute to and from school would have been horrible and Tsunotori and Aoyama are exchange students.

deku deck-you: It's stupid. I don't want you to think I'm pathetic.

gay salt: If anyone makes fun of you, I'll personally kick in the teeth. Besides Shinsou, he gets a free pass only because his teeth are already fucked this week with wires.

deku deck-you: Well, my old hag mother wanted me to drop from UA because it's too dangerous for her liking but I wouldn't do it so she kicked me out and disowned me. She beat me pretty bad, ended up breaking my right kneecap and left a bunch of deep cuts on my arms and almost severed my arteries in my wrists with some glass from a vase she broke before she threw me out of the house.

deku deck-you: I'd have used my quirk on her if it wouldn't be considered unwilling quirk usage against a civilian and, with my quirk, I'd be put in jail for how dangerous me using it in a fight could be, especially if she claimed I hurt her. I can't even go to class this morning because she threw my blood on my UA uniform so I wouldn't go back.

farmer toshi: Can't say it'll completely fit you, but my uniform is clean in room 6 in the top drawer of my dresser. Use mine for today since I'm not allowed to go to school today still. I threw up last night so I'm being held yet again for observation.

deku deck-you: Thank you. Who all is even here?

ranch flavored jello: Oh yeah, introductions. You weren't here for them.

ranch flavored jello has quoted 21 messages

Aizawa: Shouta, he/him, I'm gay, married, depressed

Shinsou: Hitoshi, he/him, I'm gay

Monoma: Seiko, she/they/he, pansexual/genderfluid, if you have a crush on me, you're some kind of gay

Hagakure: Toru, she/her, lesbian

Aoyama: Akemi, she/they, trans mtf/lesbian

Tsunotori: Pony, she/her, lesbian

Shiozaki: Ibara, they/them, asexual/agender/aromantic

Kuroiro: Kageya, she/her, trans mtf/bi

Tokoyami: Fumikage, he/him, trans ftm/bi

Honenuki: Juzo, she/her?, bi

Kuroiro: Ah yes, our girl, Honenuki Kiyomi.

Shinsou has changed Aizawa's name to feral cat dad

Shinsou has changed Aoyama's name to gay salt

Shinsou has changed Hagakure's name to ranch flavored jello

Shinsou has changed Tokoyami's name to foil-mecha

Shinsou has changed Kuroiro's name to life is a nightmare

Shinsou has changed Shiozaki's name to saviour

Shinsou has changed Tsunotori's name to schrodinger better run

Shinsou has changed Honenuki's name to pure

Shinsou has changed Monoma's name to nat20

feral cat dad has changed Shinsou's name to farmer toshi

deku deck-you: Well, I'm pansexual, he/him, trans ftm, just please don't call me Bakugou anymore, I don't want that hag's surname.

feral cat dad: I'll fight your mother, don't tempt me.

feral cat dad: Also how about Aizawa Katsuki?

deku deck-you: I'm going to start crying.

nat20: Looks like Mr. Aizawa is adopting another kid with bad parents.

President Megaphone: Yeah, I'll get the paperwork on the UA twelve hour adoption from custody transfer.

deku deck-you: Oh my god, I can't believe this is really happening.

farmer toshi: I'd kill a transphobe for my brother, your honor.

deku deck-you: I have a family? Really? A real family that won't hurt me?

President Megaphone: As your uncle, I assure you, nobody here will hurt you.

feral cat dad: Katsuki, I would never hurt my son.

farmer toshi: Yeah, dude, I wouldn't hurt you, ever.

ranch flavored jello: I have a brother! I wanna paint your nails!

deku deck-you: I don't think I've ever been happier in my life.

farmer toshi: I'm glad you're happy, Katsuki.

deku deck-you: You're all so nice, thank you.

gay salt: We'd be nice to you regardless, Kats. We're happy to help you whilst you're settling in and finally getting to feel safe. We're proud of you for being brave enough to reach out for help when you needed it.

deku deck-you: I need to get dressed before y'all keep making me cry.

deku deck-you is now offline

7:50 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: katsukiinhisschooluniformwithorangehair.jpg

deku deck-you: Toru helped me because my arms still hurt a lot when I grab things.

ranch flavored jello: My boy, Katsuki, looks like a god.

deku deck-you: I finally don't look like my mother anymore.

farmer toshi: I'll punt kick her for you, bro.

deku deck-you: Don't make me cry.

ranch flavored jello: Get to class, Kats. I'm waiting for you.

deku deck-you is now offline

8:15 AM

Existence Is A Prison

ranch flavored jello: katsukisnewhair.vid

Video Transcript

Oh my god, Kacchan? -Unknown

Let me fucking explain maybe before you all just gang up on me and make me even more uncomfortable. -deku deck-you

My hag mom threw me out because I wouldn't drop from the Hero Course because it's too 'dangerous' for her liking now. So I'm living in the dorms, if you make fun of my hair, I'll have to kill you because Toru worked hard to make it look good on a time constraint -deku deck-you

I think it looks really good, Kacchan! - Unknown

I will still deck you, Deku, you damn nerd. -deku deck-you

[the camera shows that Katsuki is actually happy and smiling at Midoriya and he's being hugged by Aoyama as Aizawa comes into the room bandaged to the point of looking like a Halloween mummy decoration]

Transcript End

President Megaphone: God fucking dammit, Shouta!

farmer toshi: DAD!

ranch flavored jello: What's wrong?

President Megaphone: He wasn't supposed to start teaching again yet since he's still too injured for Recovery Girl's quirk to work on him.

gay salt: Don't worry, us dorm kids will make sure he doesn't do anything too dangerous.

President Megaphone: Fine, I guess.

3:15 PM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: I'm officially going back in the dorms, Aunt Nemuri came and got me. They knocked my hold down to twelve hours since I threw up since I haven't had anymore nausea or vomiting.

farmer toshi: My stubborn ass is at the store before I go home, do you guys need anything?

President Megaphone: Make sure you pick yourself up things that are liquid for the next couple days while you're on the mend before Recovery Girl can heal you.

farmer toshi: That's the plan. I've already procured blueberry yogurt drinks and silken tofu and soft ice cream and jellies and stuff. I wanted to know before I check out if anyone else needs anything.

gay salt: Yeah, grab me some boiled octopus and crab sticks if you can. I'm craving them.

foil-mecha: jagariko please, whichever one you find.

ranch flavored jello: Enoki, a bunch of them, and thick white bread.

feral cat dad: Just grab some extra jellies.

life is a nightmare: ham, bean sprouts, tofu, and eggs.

pure: Tofu and spam.

schrodinger better run: Milk, bacon, and eggs for my breakfast tomorrow.

nat20: cheese sausages and kimchi ramen, please.

saviour: Just tofu and edamame.

President Megaphone: aloe yoghurt.

farmer toshi: Got it. I'll be home in like a half hour. Be waiting for your groceries.

8:15 AM

Existence Is A Prison

schrodinger better run: @everyone I've made everyone breakfast! Even you, Shinsou and Mr. Aizawa. I made you two's food liquid for you.

schrodinger better run: Breakfast is eggs, pancakes, bacon, and tofu. I made the pancakes vegan friendly and I tried really hard to make the tofu like sausage for Toru and Ibara!

saviour: Thank you, Pony, I'm sure it'll be good no matter what.

ranch flavored jello: Thanks Pony, you're the best.

schrodinger better run: No problem!

schrodinger better run: And for Mr. Aizawa and Shinsou, I made you two your smoothie bags and some of the juice I made for you!

farmer toshi: Which ones?

schrodinger better run: For you, the vanilla coconut, chocolate peanut butter jelly, and guava orange juice. For Mr. Aizawa, spinach peanut butter banana, citrus berry, and guava orange juice.

feral cat dad: Thank you, pony.

feral cat dad: No, capitalize pony.

feral cat dad: Fucking speech to text.

feral cat dad: Pony. There we go.

schrodinger better run: Love you, Mr. Aizawa.

feral cat dad: Love you too, kid.

2:30 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Katsuki, Recovery Girl says she can likely heal you now that you're feeling better.

deku deck-you: Yeah, sure.

3:45 PM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: You feel okay, Kats?

deku deck-you: Yeah, just tired. I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up for dinner.

5:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: I'm going out for a run.

6:45 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Jeez, you get up early. I'll try to run with you tomorrow.

deku deck-you: I'm good running alone, Shinsou.

farmer toshi: Oh, okay.

deku deck-you: I mean, if you wanna, then go ahead, but I know you don't sleep well. Plus you have to rest up so Recovery Girl can heal you.

farmer toshi: I know, but I also know it sucks to run alone sometimes.

5:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: I'm going out for a run.

6:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Shoot, I slept past my alarms.

deku deck-you: It's fine. As long as you're getting sleep, you don't have to run with me, Shinsou.

5:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: I'm going out for a run.

6:35 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Fucking alarms weren't set.

deku deck-you: You needed the sleep, Shinsou. You were up late.

farmer toshi: Fine. But I'll catch you one of these mornings.

5:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: I'm going out for a run.

6:15 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: I'm getting closer, you early bastard.

deku deck-you: Keep thinking that, Shinsou.

5:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: I'm going out for a run.

5:55 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Now you're taunting me.

deku deck-you: You wish. I'm just good at waking up early.

5:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: I'm going out for a run.

5:35 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: I JUST MISSED YOU!

farmer toshi: Get back here little bastard!

deku deck-you: shinsousprintingafterhim.jpg

life is a nightmare: What a wholesome ending.

deku deck-you: shinsoufellonme.jpg

President Michael: You good, kids?

deku deck-you: Yeah, we're good. My knee is a little achy but I'll be fine.

farmer toshi: Don't worry, I'll force him back if he's hurt, Uncle Zashi.

Taglist: @everythingisstardust

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #yamada hizashi #aoyama yuuga #katsuki bakugou #shinsou hitoshi #fumikage tokoyami #hagakure tooru #aizawa shouta #monoma neito #kuroiro shihai #juzo honenuki #pony tsunotori #ibara shiozaki #snoweywrites #aizawa we agreed no more cats au #tw death mention

15 notes · View notes

faebirdie · 4 years ago

Note

Actually radfems are the reason ‘queer cis girls’ have 98 out of 100 of their current rights. Right to control finances, get a credit card, open a bank account? Thank radfems. Right to vote? Right to get a no-fault divorce? Right to marry another woman? Right to wear pants? Ability to find a dv shelter? Trans women were completely uninvolved in women acquiring these. Radfems on the other hand, were essential. Doesn’t mean trans women today aren’t worthy of respect, but it does mean the bare minimum you could do when speaking about feminist history is not erase its warriors

this is so fucking stupid that I barely even know how to (much less want to) respond to it. for starters, I was obviously talking about queer rights which is why I said 'QUEER, cis women'. and no. radfems did not give us our rights. trans women (tran women of color namely) did. women like Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. who fought and bled and died for the rights that all of us queer, cis girls including terfs like you are so 'thankful' to have and yet so quick to give a big fuck you to everyone just like Marsha and Sylvia.

and even if I wasn't talking about queer rights specifically, it is ignorant at best to claim that trans women had nothing to do with the rights you listed above. you really think trans people weren't part of every single one of those damn fights? that they haven't been erased from the history books by terfs? because I guarantee they have. so screw you. and screw every other terf that came before you and will come after. trans folks deserve far better then to have to exist in the same world as your bullshit.

and before any tries to say otherwise the venn diagram of terfs and 'radfems' is a fucking circle.

#asks #anon #transphobia #transphobia //#lgbtq #transgender visibility #fuck terfs #feminism

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centuriantalevevo · 3 years ago

Text

Draco x Nonbinary Reader

Reader is AMAB, also this contains my headcanons lmao- hella OOC because of that (one of my headcanons, Draco has like.. multiple cousins who are basically on crack /j)

TW: transphobia and enbyphobia, with talk of biphobia. LGBTphobia in general. Misgendering

5th year is.. Hectic.. Especially for a certain kid, Y/N L/N, who had to deal with a literal pink toad this year. Like.. ew? What made it worse, was they seemed to be the only kid in the school, well Slytherin specifically, that was… Different. Not in the normal, cliche sense, where ‘oh Y/N was drop dead gorgeous but abused by everyone around her, she can sing amazing-’, no. This isn’t your typical x Reader story, Y/N was different in the sense of Identity, Gender, specifically Gender Norms. They seemed to be all alone on this feeling, a feeling of discomfort, a feeling of loneliness despite multiple friends being in the room with them at this moment. They were away from earth, where no words can hurt. Where the erasure cannot get to them.

Oh god did the words hurt.

Oh? What words? You’re about to find out.

“No, but did you hear some of the bullshit Umbridge was saying?” He asked, he as in the blonde. Draco. Draco Malfoy. “Especially to my cousin-” “You have a cousin?” Pansy asked, “Welcome to the conversation, first time speaking to me?- Yes, you are hella late to the conversation.” Draco groaned, “Now let me get back to the story” “Continue, which cousin? Darla?- Dominic?-” Blaise asked, “No, Jamie..” He responded quickly, “Oh hold on, what did the toad do to Jamie? I swear, if she hURT THAT PRECIOUS CHILD- Gryffindor or not, I love that girl to death” Blaise said quickly, interrupting Draco.

The blonde sighed deeply, “Blaise.. I love you to death but holy shit let me finnish, alright..” He took a breather, Y/N came back from their little world, queuing into the conversation. “Okay, so Umbridge had the AUDACITY to misgender MY COUSIN OVER AND OVER again! Misgendered her, invalidated her, you know that rule about like.. Something distance from the opposite gender? Yeah she’s forcing Jamie, a literal girl, to distance from girls and not guys-” He halted for a second, “No, my bad.. She’s forcing Jamie to stay away from both because she believe that Jamie is gay.. No, Jamie is a whole straight girl..” Draco ranted, “um.. Sorry to interrupt but… Jamie’s a girl? So how was she invalidated?” Y/N asked, tilting their head, Draco’s eyes moved to them, softening some.

“Oh, you didn’t know? I thought everyone knew. Jamie is trans, she’s a trans girl specifically”

THERE! THERE IT WAS! They weren’t alone now.. There was someone who understood, yet they’d been clueless this whole time.

“I swear I will jack that woman UP” Blaise said lowly and Draco nodded in agreement. “Jamie was CRYING when she came to me, she could barely speak. That poor girl passed out from crying so much. She felt so hurt and the amount of dysphoria she felt was astronomically high.” He sighed, even he wanted to cry. “Like, damn bitch you didn’t have to out yourself as a whole LGBTphobe, you could’ve just stayed quiet and it would cost you nothing yet you chose to mess with a child who is related to the MALFOY family, very smart yes mhmm..” He growled in aggravation “Only merlin knows what she’d do if there was a nonbinary in the school, she’s probably dehumanize them.” He shook his head.

“I’d commit a hate crime if I’m honest” Dominic said, coming from the stairs of the boys dormitory, “The LGBT had their way for a moment because she hadn’t thought about the gays, bisexuals and lesbians. Well.. the gays and lesbians, I don’t think she thinks Bisexuals exist..” He hummed, “She’s enforced the rule so now Darla can’t be near Daphne, luckily I don’t have a boyfriend.. The one time being single is a good thing.” Dominic dramatically cried.

“I will prove bisexuals exist, damn seems like I gotta stay away from ALL of you, sorry” Draco jokes, but was dead serious at the same time. “Until then, if there are nonbinaries in the school, technically they can by-pass the rules, if they present as masculine one day feminine the next. Or just androgynous to confuse the toad.” Draco then added, “I think I have to stay away from you guys too, shit Bisexuals can’t do ANYTHING” Blaise said, pretending to get up and leave.

So.. the students know of the nonbinary gender…

“Although, no surprise, Snape is always the decent one, along with all the other professors, and respect the trans kids pronouns, I’ve gone into his class to give him something during one of his lessons and heard him deliberately calling out kids that misgendered Jamie, it was amazing. And everyone says Snape is a bad teacher.” Draco says, smiling some at the memory. “Ooo! Speaking of which! While in Umbrdige’s class I think.. A few days ago, Snape actually found out about the incident and told her the fuck off for it-” “Damn, snape really said ‘trans rights are human rights’, go off honestly” Dominic interrupted, Draco nodded “The best look honestly, it was pure bliss watching that.” He responded.

Y/N finally managed to form words. “I.. didn’t know there was a trans person in the school.. A fellow trans person..” They said, mumbling the last part quietly, but Draco, Dominic, and Blaise caught it. “Fellow trans person?” Blaise tilted his head, and Draco glanced knowingly, the last part of their sentence was all he needed. They shook their head quickly, “Nothing” They shrugged, “Just nice to know”

It hurt, to be misgendered everyday, to be fair no one knew they were misgendering the kid. But they were so scared of being erased, discriminated against, that they said nothing. Since 1st year, pretty much.

They stretched some, “I'm gonna head to the library, I need to get studying done for Defense Against the Dark Arts, I’ll talk to you guys later.” They smiled, getting up, and grabbing paper, a quill, ink and their books from their dorm. Speed walking out, though it didn’t take long to hear a second pair of footsteps racing after them. Who the-

“Hey, Y/N..” Draco trailed of, catching up to them quickly, “What’s up?” They looked at him from the corner of their eye, “There’s something you never told anyone, isn’t there?” He asked. Y/N averted their eyes and shook their head, “Nn… No..?” They sounded unsure, “Is that a statement, or a question because you don’t know?” He asked. He didn’t wanna be rude, but this was the only way he could truly confirm. If there was someone he had been accidentally misgendering, he wanted to stop that quickly.

“I don’t wanna sound rude, nor put you on the spot.. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but.. What are your pronouns?” he asked, he knew of the nonbinaries, he knew of them.. So it’s fine to tell him, yes? He was basically defending them. They shook their head, not ready yet. “Not ready? That’s fine, I can respect that. You can always tell me, you know that right? I’ll understand. And if not me, then Jamie will.” heHe had sincerity in his voice, Y/N simply nodded. “Noted, thanks Draco..” They smiled and headed to the Library.

The next day, Defense Against the Dark Arts was boring as ever, all because of Umbridge. But she had a new lesson today, not the normal one though. She had been doing her usual bullying of Jamie, Draco had been on edge and heard about it earlier, fairly quickly too. It was like it was her MISSION to be an LGBTphobic idiot with no life. Jamie had mentioned nonbinaries before she dipped from class, arguing about trans in general with the woman, or.. Monster.. Both terms work. So she was now here, in front of kids, spewing out enbyphobic shit, and not planning on stopping.. Y/N was starting to cry, but tried their best to hold it in.

The first person to notice the distress was Draco, Hermione did too, as she sat behind Y/N but could see them jolting some, “These.. Non-binaries, are less than human. You’re either a boy, or a girl. Everyone agrees, yes? If you are born a girl, you’re a girl. If you’re born a boy, you’re a boy. It’s a mental disorder, and you need to be fixed-” “They’re normal.. They just happen to not feel like a guy or a girl..” Y/N said quietly, “Trans folk are human, they aren’t an it.. That’s incredibly hurtful..” They said, it took all their strength to keep their voice from cracking.

“What was that Mr. L/N?” Umbridge smiled that sweet yet disgusting smile, tilting her head.. No, that smile had more dangerous intent behind that. They flinched. “Is there something you would like to say sir?” She asked, stopping in front of them. “Trans people.. Are people.. Just because you’re too ignorant to learn doesn’t.. M..mean you- b-bring someone down b-beca-use of it..” Their voice started to crack, they hiccuped some. “I’m sorry.. Do you think you have more knowledge than me?” She asked, her tone was dangerous. “Y..yes. Clearly, I’ve d-done my research on this, th-there is science tha-at defends us” They said.

“Detention Mr. L/N.. For talking back to a teacher, when I am giving a lesson you are to listen, you’re too caught up in whatever freak show you tra-” Umbridge was cut off, “Don’t you DARE finish that damn sentence, I can promise you I am not against hitting a teacher and a woman at that.” Draco intervened, “There is a lot of science that backs transgenders up, plenty of brain science has shown there is a female and male brain, that’s what backs up trans girls and trans boys, the nonbinary is still being researched, but I can assure you it is much more than a mental illness. Yes, dysphoria is a disorder, it CAN be treated, it can be treated with Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT. It can be treated with transitioning. Some nonbinaries transition, some don’t feel dysphoric enough to transition, but at the end of the day they are still a they, I am still a he, and you are still a she. Just imagine if someone called you ‘he’, or even ‘it’ because they didn’t believe you were actually a girl-” “DETENTION, for BOTH of you.” Umbridge screamed, glaring daggers at both of them.

“I’d take detention over hearing another second of the erasure, you’ve hurt my cousin enough, I’ll gladly take the blow for her. I thought Snape would’ve taught you.” Draco muttered, staring at her, “Both of you, leave. Now.” She said with a huff, Draco grabbed his things, but stopped Y/N when they tried to collect theirs, getting it for them, “Come on.” He said softly, leaving the classroom with the student.

He handed their things to them gently, “I.. Noticed you got really upset..” He said softly, “More like panicked..” They said softly, “It’s easier said than done, but try not to let her get to you. Some people just choose to stay stupid. Sometimes even I hurt from some of the shit she says. Damn the amount of biphobia I have heard from her is ungodly.” He sighed, “You’re bi?” They asked curiously, “Yeah, I thought it was obvious by now. I kinda stopped caring at like.. 2nd year, hell I made out with.. A lot of guys in 2nd and 3rd year, mostly to piss my father off because he’s also LGBTphobic, but also just because it’s fun, and guys are cute.” He said with a small grin, they laughed. “Fair enough, do what you can to piss the oppressors off” They joked, drying their eyes. He turned to head to the Slytherin Common Room, when their voice ringed out again.

“They/Them..” Y/N said, he turned around and tilted his head, “You asked what my pronouns are.. I use they/them. I’m nonbinary” They said softly, and Draco smiled with a nod. “Is there a different name you want to be called?” But they shook their head, “The name I introduced myself as is the name I want to use.” Y/N said, “Alright, come on. Lets go to the common room” Draco said, “I can probably try and get Jamie in there too..” He hummed softly.

Later that day, it was after dinner, and all the Slytherins were in the common room. Aside from Draco and Y/N, “Do you want to tell them? Most of them are accepting, aside from a few exceptions, Pansy surprisingly is accepting.” He said quietly, and thought for a moment.. “Blaise told me a few of the kids got told off because they agreed with us.” He added, “I think.. I was always scared to say anything because I didn’t wanna be made fun of.. I didn’t know there was someone who was trans like me til you talked about what happened with Jamie..” They said, “Well, you’re safe here. Hell, I’m more than 110% sure that our headmaster is gay, so.. Do with what you will on that information” He said with a small lighthearted laugh, Draco kissed their cheek with a small hum “It’ll be okay.”

They’d chosen to tell them, they didn’t want to feel misgendered any longer, Umbridge aside. “Oi, everyone shut your trap for a second, I have something to say- THEO… Thank you” He said, after staring down Theodore for a moment. “Let us reintroduce someone, but properly this time. This is Y/N, they’re nonbinary, use they/them pronouns and the moment I hear any of you say something against that, I will personally come for you, with Jamie in tow.” Draco said, Y/N smiling a little with a small wave. “Could’ve told us sooner, but glad you did, especially after Professor Umbridge, good job” Blaise said.

Even Pansy was accepting, they were all proud that you had the courage to say come out, and also that you said something to Umbridge.

This was fine, everything is fine. Umbridge wasn’t fine, but.. This was nice, being accepted as who you are, by people who you’d think would be the last people to ever accept you. The person you thought would be the last person to accept you ended up being the most accepting, which is ironic when you consider his dad.

This was bad 😭

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #nonbinary reader #TW// transphobia #TW// misgendering #hella OOC because of my own headcanons-#harry potter universe

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yikesharringrove · 4 years ago

Text

Umm, I accidentally deleted the request for this while moving it to my inbox, so here it is. (Also this is like, four months old).

I’m gonna rec this fic which is super well written and adorable

Steve is ftm. (Personally, I’m not a big fan of mpreg unless it’s like, biologically plausible 🤷‍♀️)

Under the cut bc it’s long and there’s a little bit of smut.

Billy’s hands were shaking as he raced out of the house.

He had a bag slung over one shoulder, had already put two others in the Camaro.

His dad had gone in hard today. Three days after Billy graduated high school and he’s already calling him a deadbeat, a fuck up. Telling him to get a job like he hasn’t worked every summer and most weekends since he was fourteen.

He lit a cigarette as he slid into the driver’s seat.

He was gonna make one stop on the way outta town.

Steve had given Billy a spare key months ago, after he was tired of always having to go downstairs and answer the door.

He liked it when Billy just made his way up, started kissing whatever skin was already exposed and asking Steve if he’s wet.

Tonight, Steve thought, was no different.

Billy was kissing up his calf, mouthing along his knee, a few fingers creeping up the leg of his shorts.

Billy was the best sex he’s ever had. Not a lot of gay guys will go down on Steve, some won’t even fuck him. He had been real hesitant to tell Billy, start having regular sex with his best friend, because he didn’t think Billy would want anything to do with him when he knew what he was bringing to the table.

But Billy had told him not to be an idiot, ate him out, and pounded him into the mattress.

And Steve was in love.

So he let Billy fuck him whenever he pleased, because at least Billy was giving him the time of day, at least he was getting some.

He opened his eyes, smiling lazily down at Billy.

“‘Time is it?”

“Almost two.” Billy was curling two fingers into his waistband, slowly pulling down his shorts, like maybe Steve wouldn’t notice.

Steve lifted his hips, and Billy whipped off his shorts, diving right in for his pussy.

He ate him out with the same fervor he did everything. Making all these gross slurping sounds, sucking on Steve’s cock and shoving his tongue inside him.

He made Steve cum twice on his face, as was the norm, before wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, and getting right to business.

He fucked Steve like he was mad at him.

He often did. And Steve knew he wasn’t mad at him, moreso mad at the other him, the him that’s ruined Billy’s life since before he was even born.

Steve wasn’t as dumb as everyone thought. Knew that when Billy snuck into his bedroom at odd hours of the night and absolutely ravished him, something bad had happened with his dad.

So when Billy finally rolled off of him, and lit a cigarette, Steve knew better than to ask.

“I’m leaving.” Steve just hummed at him. Billy sometimes stuck around after sex.

But Billy didn’t move.

“Like, leaving Hawkins.” Steve just hummed again. Billy talked a lot about leaving Hawkins. Steve had always secretly dreamed of running away with him.

Billy just studied his face in the dark, stubbing out his cigarette and rolling over to hols Steve close to his chest.

Steve closed his eyes, let himself pretend.

Pretend that Billy loved him back.

He woke up to rustling, Billy getting dressed to leave as weak sunlight began to trickle through his curtains.

“Oh shit, didn’t mean to wake you.”

He smiled lazily at Billy.

“You comin’ back over tonight?” Billy looked stiff.

“Probably not. Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah. Later.” Billy was sitting on the end of his bed, had just finished tying on his boots.

And then he moved, quick as a flash to kiss Steve softly before he was thundering down the stairs.

Steve was just falling asleep as the Camaro roared away.

Billy had skipped town that night.

And Steve never forgave himself.

Steve was leaning over the counter, his head pressed into the cool top of it.

“I threw up all last week, and I just feel like shit.” He had been whining to Robin practically all morning at Family Video.

“Do you think you have the flu?”

“I don’t know, Rob. I mean, my stomach hurts a lot, but like, it feels like I’m just having awful cramps.”

“Are you on your period?”

“Nah. Don’t get it very often with the hormones anymore.”

“Normally I’d suggest pregnancy, but I know you’re in a bit of a dry spell.” He rolled slightly to look darkly at her. “Still no word of Billy?”

“No. The one person in Hawkins that isn’t too transphobic to fuck me, and he skips town.” Steve sighed. “I should’ve known, too. He was being super weird that night.”

“Whatever. When you and I skip town, we’ll have the time of our damn lives, and get you laid.” He laughed softly.

“I’m just gonna go to the doctor this weekend. Get a full physical.”

“Let me know the verdict at and I can come over with some medicine, if you need.”

“Thanks, Rob.”

Steve was lying back on the stiff exam table.

He had already given blood and urine samples, and was just waiting for the doctor to tell him what the fuck was wrong with him.

Sometimes his hormones had to be adjusted, and caused all sorts of weird shit to go haywire in his body.

Dr. Mauch was a kind woman, always been pleasant and accepting of Steve, even referred him to an endocrinologist for his hormones.

She didn’t smile when she came in, though. Just sat down at her stool.

“I’m going to go out a limb here and say that this is not news you’ll be happy about hearing.”

Steve felt his heart drop to his stomach.

“You’re pregnant.”

He blinked.

“No.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. But you most definitely are.”

“But, but I’m on blockers, and testosterone, and I haven’t had sex in months.”

“I’d say about six months.” His mouth was dry. Billy had left in late May. About six months ago. “And being on hormones is not an effective method of birth control. Some men still get pregnant after taking them.”

“I’m not, I don’t look pregnant.”

“Some people don’t really show their pregnancy. My sister was rail thin the entire time, had a perfectly healthy baby girl. It’s all about your body type.”

“So, so you’re telling me, that I’m six months fucking pregnant.”

“Yes.” He slumped back onto the exam table.

“What are, what are my options?”

“Well, unfortunately, not many. Abortions are only legal in Indiana up to 20 weeks, or five months, or unless the person pregnant is facing severely compromised physical health. There’s always adoption.”

“No one’s gonna want a baby from a trans guy.” She pursed her lips.

“I think that’s a harsh statement. Many people are desperate for babies.” Steve just stared at her.

“So, if I have to take it to term, should I like, go off my hormones.” His stomach gave a lurch at the idea.

“I would recommend it. There’s very little research one pregnancy in transgender individuals. We really don’t know how hormones can affect the baby.” Steve sighed. “I would say, get in with an OB/GYN. I can recommend a few I know and send them your medical history. Your name change and hormone therapy is part of all of it, so hopefully they will be kind.” Steve sighed.

“Thank you, Doc. I really appreciate it.”

“I’m sorry for the disappointing news.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” She gave him a copy of their appointment notes, a list of OB/GYNs for him to research, and a hug before she left.

He drove home slowly, feeling exhausted, like the weight of the fucking world was on his shoulders.

He got home to find Robin sitting on his front porch, her nose buried in a book, a pizza box sitting next to her.

She looked up at him, and he burst into tears.

“Look, Max, if he contacts you in any way, tell him to call Steve, okay? It’s important.” Robin was yammering to Max on the phone, trying to get a way to contact Billy.

Steve was laying on the couch, had his shirt rucked up over his stomach, pushing it out and sucking it in, trying to see any change in his body.

“Just give him Steve’s phone number and tell him he’s an asshole.” She hung up the phone, perching on the armrest at Steve’s feet.

“She know where he is?”

“No. She said he ran off and hasn’t contacted her at all. She didn’t even know he was leaving.” She slid onto the couch, let Steve put his feet on her lap. “You think he’d come back? If he knew?”

“I don’t know. I’m not really asking him to. I mean, I don’t think I’m in a place to take care of it, but I kinda just want him to know it exists. Like, I think he deserves that.”

“I get it.” Her voice was soft. She watched Steve stare at his tummy some more. “I’m sorry. I’m sure this is just, dysphoria out the wazoo.” Steve huffed a laugh.

“I don’t think it’s really hit me yet. I think ‘cause I’m not showing. I don’t look pregnant, so how can I be pregnant, you know?” He sighed tugging down his shirt. “Going to the doctor’s gonna be a damn nightmare, though. They’re too used to dealing with women. It’s gonna suck.”

Steve was right.

Even though his primary care doctor had sent his medical history, he still got deadnamed and misgendered at reception, and intake, and by the nurse, and the doctor when she finally arrived.

They gave him a pelvic exam, getting him in for a sonogram as well.

And as the doctor was moving the imagining wand around on his tummy, and he heard the heartbeat for the first time, something caved inside of him.

A baby. He was having a baby.

And part of him, a really fucking big part of him, was starting to love it.

His parents were home for four days.

And Steve had waited for the final day of their homesteading to tell them.

He’s glad he did.

Diner was as quiet as always, and Steve had nearly choked on the words.

“I’m pregnant.”

His father had gotten out his wallet, asked how much an abortion costs.

“I’m too far along for that. Nowhere will legally do it.”

His mother had just stared at him. His father asked how far along he was.

“Close to seven months. I didn’t even know until like, a week and a half ago.”

And his father had stood up, and the yelling began.

“I can’t believe you. You kick up this huge fuss, make us change your name, and the way we refer to you, go around telling everyone your a boy, and you get pregnant like the little slut you are.”

And he had told Steve to back his shit, told him he was not welcome in my house anymore.

And Steve didn’t have a lot of shit he cared about, the clothes he liked fit in one duffel bag.

His mother didn’t look at him as he left.

He had called Mrs. Henderson from a payphone.

Nobody else could give him a ride anymore, and he wasn’t expecting her to drop everything and drive him somewhere, but she had freaked out at the words kicked out and for getting pregnant, and told him to stay where he is.

She was there with a tight hug and a travel mug of honey lemon tea within twenty minutes.

Steve had asked for a ride to a youth shelter he had read about, but she shook her head, said you’re coming to live with me and Dusty and Steve had cried in her passenger seat, and again in her guest bedroom.

Steve groaned.

He had finally begun showing, just a little bit out a mound near his belly button.

But he felt like shit, had taken to spending most days in bed.

He bat away whoever was shaking him.

“Go away.”

“Steve, it’s Max.”

“I’m sleeping.”

“I found Billy, you asshole. I have his address.” Steve sat bolt up straight.

“You, where is he?”

“Boston. He went east, for some reason. But he sent me a letter, out of the blue, and I told him you had something important to say, but he said he doesn’t have a phone.” She handed him a slip of paper.

“Thanks, Max.” He gave her a weak smile, found her chewing her lip.

“Is he the father? The other father, I mean.” He had told the party about the pregnancy, figured rumors would begin spreading soon enough.

“Yeah. He’s the other father.”

“He wouldn’t have ditched you. If he’d known.”

“I know.”

“He’s not like that.”

“I know.” She stared him down. He kept his face open, honest.

“Are you gonna write to him?”

“Yeah. I just, I don’t really know what to say.”

“Just keep it simple. Tell him he’s got a kid. Let him choose what he wants.”

It took Steve almost a month to draft a letter.

He didn’t really know what to say.

He settled on the bare minimum.

I’m pregnant. And it is most definitely, without a doubt, yours. I’m not expecting anything from you. I don’t want money, or for you to move back to Hawkins. I just thought you deserve to know about your kid.

He read the letter about three times, one hand pressed delicately to his little bump.

I’ve decided to keep the baby. I’m going to raise them. You’re welcome to meet them, and be in their life if you choose, but if not, I’m not going to hold it against you.

He sealed the envelope, leaving it on his nightstand.

And then his contractions started.

He didn’t get around to sending it.

Claudia was the only person in the room with him when he gave birth.

She held his hand the whole time, coached him through his breathing.

And when his son was born, she pet his head, told Steve how beautiful he is.

Steve was slumped face down on the bed.

He had just gotten Oliver down, calmed him down enough for him to finally sleep.

He rolled over, scrubbing a hand down his face.

He had barely slept all week. But Oliver had smiled at him for the first time yesterday.

He turned to lay on his side, zeroing in on the envelope on his nightstand.

He sat up quickly.

Fuck. He needed to send that letter.

He didn’t bother thinking about it, just wrapped his sweater tighter around himself, and hurried to the mailbox. He put the little flag up, leaving the letter in the little inner clasp.

He looked back down at Oliver, running one finger over his fuzzy little head.

He didn’t hear from Billy for three weeks.

He knew the letter wouldn’t take more than a few days to get to him, and it would take just as long for Billy to get him back.

He had pushed Billy out of his mind, figured if he wanted to be part of Oliver’s life, he had given him enough of a chance to be.

He put on a thick sweatshirt, had taken to wearing baggy tops to hide his tits, too sore, too big to bind anymore. Oliver squealed at him when he leaned against the side of his crib, reaching out for him.

He strapped him into his stroller to take him on a walk, stopped dead in the doorway.

Billy fucking Hargrove was in the driveway, standing next to the Camaro like he had just gotten out of it.

His eyes were wide, trailing from Steve, to Oliver, and back again.

“Is that my kid?” Billy’s hair was shorter than when he had left.

“Oliver. His name is Oliver.” Billy stepped around the car.

“Can I, can I see him?” Steve brought the stroller down the driveway, taking Oliver out of the stroller.

Billy held him like he was made of gold.

“He’s beautiful.”

“I think he looks a lot like you.” Billy smiled at him.

“Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here, I was waiting for my semester to end.”

“It’s okay. I just, you know. Thought you deserved to know about him.” Billy stared at Oliver, his smile going soft as Oliver squealed, tugging on Billy’s hair.

“I want to be in his life. If that’s okay?”

“Of course it is. He’s your son too.” Billy brushed his thumb down Oliver’s nose.

“Thank you, Steve. And I’m, I’m sorry about how I left. I was going to-” he cut himself off, looking back at Oliver. “I was gonna ask you to come with me. Chickened out last minute.”

Steve’s heart was banging against his rips.

“I would’ve gone with you. Used to dream about running away with you.” Oliver started getting fussy, making disgruntled little huffs. Billy passed him back to Steve. “I was in love with you. You know that?”

“Yeah, I knew that. Was to chicken shit to do anything about it.” Billy was still looking at Oliver, the way he nestled into Steve’s neck. “He loves you a lot.”

“It’s been the two of us for awhile.”

“You’re a good dad. Always kinda figured you would be, though.” Billy took another breath. “You know, you could’ve told me sooner. I would’ve come back.”

“I don’t want you to, to change you life. Don’t quit school, or something.”

“Steve, I got a kid. I want to change my life for him. For, for you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“No never did. I’m choosing this. I’m choosing my family.” Steve hesitated.

“Would you like to come in? Have some breakfast? You could give Oliver his bottle, If you wanted.” Billy’s eyes lit up.

“I’d like that.”

#kinda open ended but this shit was getting LONG #yikes writes #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble #mpreg #trans!steve harrington #trans!steve #trans steve #trans steve harrington

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