#hating everything and myself and feeling the jealousy in the middle of my chest where my heart should be | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theonewiththefanfics · 4 years ago

Text

Thick And Thin (one-shot)

Synopsis: He never thought his wife would ever even think about divorce. They had problems, which is why they were at marriage counselling. But he never knew her heart had broken a long time ago. And he’d been the one to break it before they even got together.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: aaaaaaannnnggggssssttt baby, just wanted to write something that’d rip your heart out :)

Warnings: swearing, pain, kinda depressive (??), can’t think of anything else really, but please let me know if there is, also not my best work lol :D

Word count: 7102 (let’s start off the New Year with loads of pain :) )

Italics are flashbacks

“I want a divorce.”

Never in Harry’s life did he think he’d have to hear those words. Not after everything they’d been through, not after all of the effort he’d been putting in to save their relationship.

Those words had not only stunned him but their marriage councillor, the woman’s mouth open mid-word, as she tried to comprehend what was happening. Harry was fairing even worse. It was like his brain was short-circuiting, synapses broken and no longer sending any signals.

“Mrs Styles, I know it’s difficult,” the therapist tried to diffuse the situation. “But the reason you’re here is to avoid this specifically.”

“I don’t remember how you smell anymore,” Y/N continued not listening to the woman, voice like a black void, but her Y/E/C eyes rimmed with tears. “Or taste. I don’t remember how it feels to have you pressed up against me or what it’s like to hear your voice. I… I don’t have anything to cling onto anymore.”

“It’s why we're here!” he cried through clenched teeth, slipping on his knees before her, hands grasping Y/N’s in a vice-like grip. “It’s why we’re trying.”

The laugh she let out was detached and without any love. “We tried it your way, Harry.” She’d never called him Harry before. It was always Lover. “And it’s not working for me. It hasn’t from the start. We’re… we’re so unhappy. And I don’t want that for you or for me. We deserve happiness. But I don’t think we can give that to one another anymore.” She took in a shaky breath, looking down at Harry’s hands in her lap. “When I thought of it, at first I felt horrible. I wanted to throw myself off somewhere, but the more I sat on that thought, the more relieved I felt.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, didn’t want to believe it. “Relieved?” The word felt like acid in his mouth.

“Yes,” she nodded. “Relieved. Because this choice won’t make us hurt one another anymore. This gives us a chance to have a fresh start.”

“I don’t want a fresh start! We said – we said through thick and thin.” He was grasping onto the last straw he could find. “This is the thin, but we’ll get through it.”

“Harry, I already broke through the thin. And now I’m drowning. And when the thick comes, I’ll either be frozen under it and watch you walk further, or I’ll surface somewhere, and I don’t know on which side of the shore I’m gonna be on and where you’ll be. And if you try to get me, you’ll start drowning too. I don’t want that.”

“But that’s what marriage is! Going through the tough shit together!”

“Harry… I already asked Lionel to draw up the papers. The first draft is done.”

His blood froze in his veins.

“When you said to sit down and write one thing that makes me happy about the relationship,” Y/N was looking at the therapist now, “about the person, I – I couldn’t. Because I kept thinking back to the start, to the beginning. That’s what made me happy. But now…” She glanced at Harry. “If there was one thing, I couldn’t do to you, not in a moment like this, is lie. I just… I don’t remember how to be happy with you.”

***

They’d started out as the cliché of best-friends-lose-contact-only-to-be-reunited-and-not-let-their-chance-pass-by-and-fall-in-love. She was ten when she’d moved in next door to him and he was twelve when he’d seen the three vans full up to the house, a little girl hopping out from one of them. Harry watched as she rushed up the doorstep and put in a key, unlocking it and a new chapter of her life with it. Little did he know she’d unlocked a new chapter of his life as well.

She was the new kid at school, and despite the fact that he was a year above, he sat down next to her at lunch.

“ ’M ‘arry,” he said through a mouthful of a sandwich. “Saw you move in yesterday.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’m Y/N.”

And that was the start of a blooming friendship.

On her eleventh birthday, he gave her a handmade bracelet. She gave him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you, making Harry blush all shades of pink and red.

He was thirteen when he had his first real kiss on his birthday. Y/N had simply tried to peck him on the cheek, but he’d turned his head, and her mouth had ended up on his. She’d walked away with a shy smile and ears on fire.

She was thirteen when a boy first asked her out. Harry was the first person she told him about it. That was the first time his heart broke.

When he was fifteen, he got his first girlfriend. Y/N was fourteen when her heart broke for the first time.

And then he'd gone on X-factor and with that forgotten about her. She called him, texted him, messaged him on social media, but usually, she’d maybe get only one picture or a small ‘miss you too’ as a response. So, after a whole year apart, she gave up. What was the point of trying to save anything when he didn’t want to?

He moved on and became an international superstar. Y/N moved on and graduated top of her class, got into her first-choice university, and graduated with a first as well. He had some relationships here and there, while Y/N had had a steady relationship since the second year of uni, but when she decided to go to a different one for her masters they amicably broke up.

Eight years later she was sitting at a café in London, laughing with her ex-boyfriend and catching up, as he explained how what Criminal Minds showed wasn’t really what was taught in his criminology degree classes.

“I’m still saying I dated real-life Spencer Reid,” Y/N chuckled, sipping on her gingerbread latte. “Don’t give a shit, I need something to flex with.”

Harry had then walked inside the café, shaking off the snow from his boots when a familiar laugh he hadn’t heard in ages invaded his senses. It was almost like he’d stepped into a dream.

When his green eyes befell on the owner of the voice, he had to take a double-take. Somehow in his brain, he’d expected the fifteen-year-old teenager, a t-shirt of his face on her body, as she’d cheered him on when he’d gone onto his first concert as part of One Direction to be sitting in the chair, not the grown-up woman.

He’d still checked in with Y/N through what she posted on her social media, but as much as he’d promised not to have the celebrity life sweep him away, it had. Harry sometimes had two concerts a day, and he barely had a moment to take a bite of food. And he hated to admit it, but Y/N simply slipped from his life. And he didn’t bother to put in the effort to pull her back.

A huge wave of guilt and longing rushed through his body as he glanced at the woman, her face lit up by joy as she and the man before her continued on with their conversation.

Someone tapped on his shoulder, making him turn around and face another customer. “You gonna order anything?”

For a moment Harry stuttered. He could walk away without inserting himself back into Y/N’s life, but he didn’t want that. He’d missed her. Harry didn’t even realise how much he’d missed her.

“You go ahead.” He motioned with his hand. “I’m still thinking.”

Harry took in a deep breath and then walked towards where the pair was sitting.

The man’s eyes flitted up to see who was towering over Y/N, only for them to widen, and his mouth hang open.

A sense of pride filled Harry's chest at the reaction and maybe quenched a little bit of the jealousy invading his body. He used to be the one who made Y/N laugh until she had to tell him to stop or she’d pee herself. He was back to take up the role.

“You okay there, Dan?” she chuckled. “Don’t tell me there’s a ghost behind my back. I told him not to walk out of the flat wit –“ Y/N had turned around and almost choked on her drink. “Oh my god, Harry! Oh – hi!” She jumped up hugging him, feeling how his body shook with laughter at her reaction, strong arms weaving around her middle. “Holy shit, it’s really you!”

“Yeah, ‘s me. Who else?”

“I didn’t know you were back in the UK.”

A warmth spread through his chest, as he reluctantly pulled away from the hug. “Been checking in on me?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, sitting back down, but pulling up a third chair for Harry to sit upon. “Dan’s a huge fan.” She motioned with her head to the man. “When we first started dating, I thought he was only doing it because we used to be friends, and he hoped I’d set you up or something.”

Harry masked the choke of envy by clearing his throat and letting out an awkward chuckle. “Hope I’m not interrupting a date or something.”

“A catch-up date, but not a date date.” Dan lifted his brows at Y/N, who gave him a ‘don’t start this’ look to which he threw up his hands in surrender. “I’m just making conversation.”

“You’re being annoying, that’s what you are.” Y/N flicked a crumb from the table towards him.

It was in that moment that it truly hit how much he’d missed, and it hit him hard he no longer knew the person who once was his best friend.

“You’re different,” Harry said, looking over at her trying to keep the lump in his throat from making his voice break.

Y/N shrugged, eyes twinkling. “I mean it has been almost a decade. I do hope I don’t look the same as I did then. Otherwise, the pain of braces was of no use.”

“No,” he chuckled shaking his head. “’S not that… It’s like you’re a different person.”

“I grew up,” she said, sipping on the last bits of her drink. “ ’M not the same fifteen-year-old you saw last.”

He nodded and bit his lip. But the thing was, Harry wasn’t the stupid sixteen-year-old that left the fifteen-year-old her either. This time, he wouldn’t let the chance at happiness pass him by when he could’ve had it all along.

***

He sat across from Y/N at the large marble table and watched, heart bleeding out in his chest as she put her signature on the papers, her attorney fishing out something from his briefcase and handing it to her under the table. He saw her shoulders shudder before she placed a maroon rectangle with a golden inscription on it in her own purse. Harry wanted to vomit. It was her new passport, where her surname no longer matched his, where he no longer existed, inscribed into the document as her spouse.

“Mr Styles?” Y/N’s lawyer pushed the papers his way, the pen laying atop them. “’S your turn.”

‘Your turn’, as if it was a game of spin the bottle or UNO.

“Don’t make me,” he choked out, pleading with Y/N one last time. “Please don’t make me do this. Don’t make me give up on us.”

Her words were worse than a knife to his soul. “You can’t give up on something that’s no longer there.”

When they’d been at the stage of negotiation, he’d kept pushing for giving her at least half of his income, to give her one of the houses they owned together, but she’d turned everything down.

“I didn’t marry you for your money, Harry.” He’d expected her voice to be full of venom, but it wasn’t. It was sad, resigned. “I don’t want what you’ve earned.”

“Let me give you at least something.”

“I don’t want anything from you. If it makes you feel any better, you can donate whatever amount you wanted to give me. I don’t care. All I want from this is for you to sign the papers.”

“And if I can’t?”

Y/N sighed, looking down at the table. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

That’s when her attorney had cleared his throat. “Mrs Sty – Y/L/N. Legally, according to the prenup, you are entitled to half of Mr Styles estate as well as twenty percent of all his earnings.”

But Y/N just shook her head. “I only signed those documents because that’s what he and his agent wanted. I never asked for it or anything or the sort. Donate it, for all I care. Buy a new house, Harry I literally don’t want to know what you do with your money.” Y/N took in a sharp breath and calmed herself down. It’d been the first time Harry had heard any sort of emotion from her since she'd spoken those horrible words. “I just want this over with.”

And now, he was at the moment of the end. He just never thought their story would end with broken hearts and ripped up futures.

His handwriting was barely legible at best of times, but right now it seemed as if a toddler had tried to forge it with how much his hand shook. When the pen dropped, so did his shoulders, and he saw Y/N’s drop as well.

Harry’s with weight from the love lost, Y/N’s with relief, for now their broken hearts wouldn’t hurt one another no longer.

His lawyer handed him over a new passport as well, where Y/N was no longer written as his spouse. The urge to rip it to shreds was almost uncontainable. He hated it more than the divorce papers.

***

They’d been dating for a little over two years when he decided to propose, only every plan he had was miserably ruined by some outside force.

The first time he’d decided he’d do it at a romantic dinner. Harry had found out Y/N wasn’t a fan of huge romantic gestures, so he wouldn’t get on one knee and draw everyone’s attention. He’d simply take her hand in his, kiss her fingers and ask.

But as they’d sat at the table enjoying their meal and talking, he noticed Y/N become quieter and quieter. A frown morphed on his face.

“You alright, Lovie?”

“Umm,” Y/N’s brow creased even more, and she dropped her fork. “I umm I don’t know. ‘M feeling kind of funky?”

“What’dya mean?”

“I – “ Y/N opened her mouth but didn’t manage to get anything else out as she jumped up and rushed towards the ladies room.

Harry quickly dropped his own utensils and rushed after her, not bothering with the yells of the woman who was looking at herself in the mirror, while his girlfriend threw up her guts inside one of the toilets.

A member of the staff had run to see what all the commotion was about, but when he saw Y/N half inside a stall, half outside, Harry’s hands keeping her hair away from her face, he went back out and immediately grabbed the first aid kit they had in the kitchen, handing it to Harry along with a cold wet towel.

Y/N shuddered, leaning against the stall wall sweat glistening on her face, as he pressed the damp cloth against her skin. She gave him half a smile. “Told you not to get the shrimp.”

“I’ll get the cab, Lovie.” He smoothed away the once meticulously styled hair, which was now stuck to her damp skin.

But she shook her head. “Not yet.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m about to puke again.”

In the end, she threw up two more times, her stomach really not agreeing with the entrée. The waiters kept apologising the whole time, and the chef had stopped cooking, the restaurant immediately taking action and refunding everyone who’d ordered anything with shrimps in them.

When they’d gotten back home, Y/N was so tired and felt so sick, Harry could only help her get out of the dress, clean her up with a warm towel and wrap her up in her favourite pyjamas before curling up together on his bed and falling asleep, making sure if there was a moment, she felt nauseous again, he was by her side. She needed his help more than he needed to propose.

***

He threw himself into his work like a madman. Day and night, he was either at a studio, on a filming lot, in between meetings or interviews. The media buzzed about how his marriage had fallen apart, even though Y/N hadn’t made a statement or spoken a word to anyone, and neither had Harry. But he guessed the emptiness of his ring finger gave everything away.

He refused, however, to speak on it. As painful as it was, he was still in love with Y/N. She hadn’t chosen to be in the spotlight, it was Harry’s world, not hers, so he respected her decision to be quiet and remained so himself, save for one single post his management had asked for him to put up. It'd also been the last time he'd spoken to her.

All he received was a simple text message 'do what you have to do'.

A couple of months down the line though, something came up, and Harry couldn’t keep his tongue behind his teeth.

It was an article in The Sun, a photograph of Y/N plastered all over the front page with the words ‘Gold-digger Y/L/N finally seen out after divorce with Harry Styles.” He’d snatched the paper right off the stand and flipped it open, frantic green eyes scanning the words.

‘Despite it only being two months since the two childhood ex-best friends broke up, Y/N Y/L/N was already seen in the company of a man, sharing a drink, and giving one another flirtatious smiles. An inside source tells us, how she hadn’t even been that upset about the divorce and has been going out and having fun with many male companions, one of them being her ex-boyfriend from university times.’

‘Harry Styles, known for his time in the pop boyband One Direction and for his solo endeavours in music as well as dabbling in acting, broke everyone’s belief in true love after being seen in public without a ring. This prompted an announcement that the four-year relationship and two-year marriage to who was once his best friend had ended and the two had decided to get a divorce. Although the post showed a picture of their silhouettes holding one another with their foreheads together, and his statement showed nothing but love and respect for his then-wife, sources say Y/N had been controlling and obsessive over her then-husband and hadn’t wanted him to leave to pursue his career, stifling his growth.’

He didn’t bother to read any further, as he pulled out his phone, calling Jeff immediately to figure out how to make all of it go away, how to do at least one thing right.

“They’re dragging her name through the mud!” he sneered, not even caring he was bumping shoulders with people, and if the paparazzi would dare spin a story of the state he was in at that moment, he’d sue each and every one of them personally. “I have to do something. Fuck, Jeff, I love her! I can’t let them paint her like this. Y/N – “ he choked back a lump. “She never asked for this. Didn’t ask for anything. And that man – that was Dan, okay. I know him. Yes, he’s her ex, but they don’t know anything!”

“Harry I’ve sent them cease-and-desist letters already.” Jeff tried to ease him. “But… she’s no longer your concern Har.”

The words hit him like a bullet and ripped a hole in his chest just like one of them would. “You might still love her,” Jeff’s voice was solemn. “But Y/N is no longer yours to protect.”

“I can’t just let them talk shit about her,” Harry whispered back.

His friend sighed on the other side of the line. “I know. Which is why we’ll deal with it. But you have to start letting her go.”

***

The second time Harry wanted to propose was about a month later, and Christmas was right around the corner. They’d decided that Christmas Eve would be spent with his sister, her boyfriend and Anne, while Christmas Day they’d go to Y/N’s side of the family.

Although they’d settled on one gift each, Harry had been carrying around that small box for what felt like an eternity. And it wouldn’t really be a gift, given how he’d wrap it and hang it in the tree.

“It’s an ornament,” he’d say to her, a smug smile on his lips, as Y/N would roll her eyes at him. “Just because it has your name on it, doesn’t mean it’s immediately a present.”

And then she’d open it, and would gasp, and Harry would slide down on his knee, press a kiss to her ring-free finger before asking that fateful question.

But just like before, his plan didn’t come to fruition.

He’d asked his mother to hang up the little box, so there was no chance of Y/N seeing it in his hands, but what he hadn’t thought of was Gemma’s boyfriend had decided on the exact same plan of action.

When Michal had dropped down on his knee, Harry’s sister’s trembling hand in his, he couldn’t do that to them. As much as he wanted to marry Y/N, he couldn’t take away Gemma’s moment. So while Y/N was preoccupied with looking at the gleaming diamond on Gemma’s finger, Harry plucked down the box from where it’d hung and placed it on the side no one could see, before he could put it in his bag.

“ ’M sorry, honey,” Anne had said to him over coffee the next morning. “I didn’t know Michal would do that.”

He’d just shaken his head, no hurt in his heart. “Great minds think alike. Our moment will come. ‘M happy for Gem. Besides, if he hadn’t done that anytime soon, I would’ve needed to have a stern talking.”

***

What his sister said to him made him think he had to be living in a simulation, because it couldn’t be true. Y/N couldn’t be getting married. Not this soon. Not ever. Not to someone who wasn’t him. It had been barely a year since he’d signed the death sentence to his own happiness.

Harry shook his head. “You’re lying. Tell me you’re lying, Gem.”

“I’m not.” Her voice broke as she said it. “I saw her at a café. Saw the ring… the man who gave it to her. Harry, I’m so sorry.”

His mind reeled with questions he wasn’t sure he wanted answers to. Was that why she’d really divorced him? Had she been cheating on him and just needed an excuse out of their relationship to jump into the new one? He was away so much on their relationship, he wouldn’t have been surprised if someone else had swooped in and tried to win her heart.

Harry’s mind was one of the greatest things he’d been blessed him, but also one of the worst curses bestowed upon him, as it weaved a story of Y/N and the man who’d now put a gleaming ring on her finger.

He was away, like always, doing something he could do another time. She was on her own, keeping their bed warm with just her body, fighting for their relationship on her own, while he made plans once more to go to a different part of the world and leave her behind again.

Y/N pulled herself out of the bed, sighing and rubbing her face. She opened their closet only to be greeted with Harry’s half empty. Maybe that was the moment she decided to find someone who’d fill it and wouldn’t leave it permanently empty, Harry conjured up.

She’d dress in a soft jumper and some jeans, a large cardigan hanging over her body and would go to a café for her morning drink. And that’s where she’d meet him. The stranger that would take her out of the lonely life she’d been living. The stranger that would make a smile bloom on her face and her heart stutter once more. The stranger who would show her the love Y/N deserved to have.

Harry had to shake his head to get rid of the thoughts before they ventured into a worse territory.

No. Y/N wasn’t like that. No matter what, she would never cheat on him. She had enough dignity for herself and respect for him, even though in his own mind, Harry didn’t think he deserved it.

Although he didn’t have a right to, nor was it the sanest move (and if someone saw him doing it, there would probably be a slew of articles), Harry got into his car and drove to where Y/N’s apartment was, and when she opened the door after hearing seven loud knocks, he stepped inside without even waiting for her to invite him.

“You’re getting married?”

She crossed her arms. “It’s none of your concern.”

“It’s been barely a year! I refuse to believe you’ve moved on so fast.”

Maybe he was kidding himself, and Y/N truly had, but as much as their marriage had fallen apart, he did have the honour of having known her and having figured some things out deeper than others would.

Y//N scoffed. “I was proposed to. And I said yes.” The words were like venom entering his veins. “If I wasn’t, then I wouldn’t have agreed to it. And as I already said – it is none of your concern.”

Harry stood there, watching as she dragged a hand down her face, eyes flitting everywhere he wasn’t. It told him everything he needed to know.

“You’re not happy,” he whispered stepping forward and reaching for her hand. “I know how you shine when you’re truly happy. This isn’t it. Why are you doing this?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

Harry was so confused, at a complete loss at what Y/N was saying. “So, you’ll what? Get married to him and be miserable? Why the hell did you divorce me then?”

Y/N sighed. “Being unhappy with him isn’t as unbearable as being unhappy with you. Because with you, I know what it feels like to truly fully loved. Which is why it broke me when you stopped.”

“I never stopped!” Harry whisper yelled, anger coursing through his veins at her words, because they were lies. “Why do you think I dragged us to marriage counselling? Why do you think I kept fighting for us? For you?! You were the one that gave up!”

“You weren’t there when I needed you.”

Harry blinked rapidly, not understanding what she meant.

“You left me for ten years. You forgot all about me until that day at the café. Not once did you message me or call me or even send fucking snail mail. I was the one putting in all the effort, I was the one who was trying to keep you in my life, but you didn’t want it. Just like it was when we were married.”

Rage bubbled under the surface, but he kept it at bay. That was not how he’d get Y/N back. “How?” he asked calmly. “How did I not want it?”

She scoffed shaking her head. “It was the same as it was ten years ago. With the movie, the new album... You were always at the studio or hanging out with your castmates. When I asked for you to free up one night, one single night, you didn’t come back until three AM, drunk off your ass, and I had to take care of you. I asked for one night. And you didn’t even give me that. So forgive me for not feeling like you still loved me.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me then?!”

“I did!” This was the first time he’d ever heard Y/N yell, before kneading her lips tightly together and then continuing more quietly. “But you never heard me. Not really. You heard what I asked, and promised to be there, but when the time came… something more important always came up. Something that always deserved to have the promise you gave me to be broken.” Y/N gave him a sad smile. “Do you remember when you first asked me out? And I said no?”

Harry nodded. “You said that we just got one another back and didn’t want to have anything rip us apart again. Didn’t even want to chance it.”

“And you said it was exactly why I should give us a chance. That we’d finally found one another again and shouldn’t let the opportunity go…” She tilted her head. “Guess we should’ve listened to me. I included.”

He couldn’t believe her. “Is that really your takeaway here? You were right?”

“But I was.” Y/N shrugged. “Look at where we are now. You forgot me for basically ten years.” She shrugged, stepping away. “Give it some time, and you’ll forget me for the rest of your life. Besides, we’ve not known one another longer than we have. So, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

“Why did you then? Go out with me?” Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. “Get married to me?”

For a moment Y/N just looked at him, Y/E/C eyes boring into his green ones. “Because I’d once again convinced myself I was important to you, just like I did when we were teens. And in my head, I had dreamt up that maybe I’d be important enough for you not to forget me.”

***

The third time did the charm though.

They were both sleepy, under the covers of Harry’s bed, eyes barely keeping open as they were determined to finish Elf.

Y/N had her cheek pressed against his chest, bare body next to his naked one. She hated sleeping in pyjamas (unless they were staying over at one of their parent’s places,) because she said it made her feel like the clothes were suffocating her. Harry didn’t like sleeping with pyjamas because all he wanted was to fully feel the skin of his lover next to his.

Snow fell behind the large windows of his London penthouse apartment, covering the city in a white blanket. It rarely snowed there, so he watched with warmth in his heart as the flakes fluttered to the ground.

It was all so calm, so serene, that Harry realised that’d been the moment he’d been waiting for. No need for fancy dinners or present it as a loud gift. Being together was a gift enough.

“Lovie?” he asked, nose hidden in her hair. “You awake?”

All he received in answer was a small hum. She was on the verge of passing out, but this was the moment, so, he whispered the question, voice so low as if he was asking the dark to marry him not Y/N.

He couldn’t look at her, afraid of what she might say, afraid she might say no, think back to the times he wasn’t there for her, think of all the reasons why he wasn’t good enough for her, and would only bring her sorrow.

“Lover.” Her voice was as soft as a summer’s morning. “Look at me. Please.”

It was one of the most frightening things in his life, as he did so.

Y/E/C eyes met green. What he saw on her face allowed his heart to calm down a little.

“Is the Sun the closest star to us?”

That he hadn’t expected. “What?”

“Does it rise in the East and set in the West?”

“Y-yes?”

Her hand cupped his cheek, and he melted against her. “Then why are you asking me a question you know the answer will be the same as to those?”

“Can I put the ring on your finger then?” He was more excited than about anything in his life.

Y/N shook her head, bringing his lips to brush against hers. “Don’t need a ring. Just need you to kiss me.”

***

The wedding was far away from the city so that no one from the press could even think about following her or her entourage. The guest list was small, compared to the three hundred people Harry’s and her wedding had had.

Anne had told him not to go. He wasn’t invited, and neither was she or Gemma, for obvious reasons. As much as Y/N loved them, she knew it’d hurt the two women, but it would hurt Harry more. So seeing her stepping out of the car, dressed in a cream wedding gown, a veil covering her face, made flashbacks appear behind Harry’s eyelids.

She’d worn an off-white gown before as well, dusty rose to be exact. And Harry’s bow tie had matched it. Y/N had never liked the thought of wearing white at her wedding.

“Listen, if it’s white, I’ll most definitely spill something on it,” she’d told him as both of them had been flipping through some wedding magazines. “You know me. But if it’s some other colour, there’s a bigger chance no one will notice when that happens.”

It didn’t seem right to him. It was like a bad fever-dream like he’d had that one time, and Y/N had had to listen to him babble about the hallucinations dancing in front of him because of the high temperature.

Her gaze remained on the ground, or maybe on the bucket of white roses in her hands. She hated white roses.

A woman in a pale blue dress straightened out the back of Y/N’s dress and the train of it, and he watched as her mother came to stand beside her daughter, giving her an elbow to grasp onto.

All he wanted was for Y/N to be happy, and it hurt to think it wasn’t with him because Harry believed it was supposed to be him.

He took in a shaky breath and got out of the car just as Y/N had walked up the steps and disappeared behind the double doors.

It was going to be him.

***

Harry knew he wasn’t the best husband in the world. He was away for a lot of time, and as conceited of an excuse it was, his job did entail going out to parties, mingling with other people living the high life, and being seen with certain celebs.

Y/N was never one for it. She always supported Harry, but she didn’t like going out and spending time with people who didn’t care for her existence. Well, maybe they did, but only in a sense that she’d been the lucky bitch who’d snagged up the Harry Styles.

But if there was something Harry did was love, and he loved wholeheartedly, which is why it absolutely destroyed him when he’d gotten back home one evening and heard Y/N crying in their bathroom.

She’d never tell him, but it was because no longer did his pillow smell like him. Harry had been away for so long, that the essence of him that’d soaked into their sheets was no longer there. And it broke her to pieces.

When he’d get home, he’d be so tired, he’d crash on the couch, only tiptoeing his way into their shared room to go to his closet and get some clean clothes in the morning. He’d look over at his sleeping wife and allow a blissful smile to bloom on his face at the sight.

He was so lucky to have Y/N back in his life. He was so lucky she’d accepted him and fallen for him as he’d fallen for her. He’d silently move over and press a kiss to her temple, before going back down and off to work once more. Only he wouldn’t see the dried tears on her cheeks.

So, when he’d found her curled up in the tub, hands in her hair, face hidden by her knees, frame trembling like leaves in a storm, he instantly dropped to his knees, ignoring the sharp pain shooting through his bones, as he pulled Y/N into him.

“I can’t, Harry,” she choked out, shaking her head. He knew it was bad. She never called him by his name. “I can’t do this. I’m so alone. Even when you’re here, I’m alone.”

Harry had had his heart broken before, and always he wondered afterwards if someone took it out of his chest at that moment, what kind of a sound would it make. Or maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe it’d be as silent as the tears running down his face at Y/N’s confession.

“Maybe,” he swallowed harshly trying to keep his whole body from shaking, from showing the fear her statement instilled in him. “Maybe we need couple’s therapy.”

“What?” her eyebrows had shot up to the middle of the forehead.

“Y/N, we’re clearly having problems. I – I know I need to work on things, but you’re also not telling me how you’re feeling. Maybe we just need some help.”

She didn’t really know what to respond. In her mind, Y/N had somehow conjured up an image that if she ever got married, they’d be happy. Sure, they’d fight and have rows, but they’d always be able to work things out on their own. Not once in her life, did she ever think she’d need to go and see a marriage counsellor to help her save her marriage.

Her own parents much like Harry’s had gotten divorced. Hers had tried therapy. It’d been their last resort. It didn't work. So, when he’d mentioned it to her, that’s what made her decide it was truly over.

Y/N nodded, bringing him in for a hug, and felt his body melt into hers with relief.

She’d try, for Harry, but her mind was already made up.

***

So he stood outside the doors, listening for the line of ‘if there is anyone who opposes this union speak up now, or forever hold your peace’. His hand grasped the handle, ready to push, but… he couldn’t. He’d ruined her happy ever after once before. He couldn’t do that again to her.

Tears streamed down his face as he pocketed his hands and ventured away from the ceremony. The ceremony where the love of his life was promising to cherish someone else, to fight through thick and thin with someone else, to make someone else happy, while her own happiness suffered.

Harry sat in his car, waiting for her to exit, a smile on her face as she’d hold the hand of who now was her husband. That'd be the moment he'd let go of her. But when the doors sprung open, she was alone, hands clutching onto the front of her dress, as she rushed down the steps and back inside the car she’d arrived in.

For a second he sat in his vehicle, stunned beyond belief at what had happened, at what, as horrible as it sounded, he hoped had happened. When a man, hand in his hair ran outside as well, the same woman in the pale blue dress rushing out with him, Harry knew.

He was basically a madman on the road, breaking almost every possible law as he tried to catch up to the car Y/N had jumped in.

His mind raced with the possibilities of where she could’ve gone. The airport, her family’s summer house in Winchester, honestly anywhere in the world, but Harry shut up his mind, and allowed his heart to make the decision.

It didn’t seem like Y/N had premeditated fleeing from her wedding, which meant she’d need her stuff. And that meant going to her apartment as quickly as possible before someone came to look for her.

The way he parked was probably illegal leaving the car basically in the middle of the road, but Harry didn’t care much as he frantically rushed up the steps of her apartment complex. He was scared that if he knocked, she wouldn’t open, thinking it might be someone from the wedding, but he didn’t need to be afraid of it, as he saw Y/N, her hair still styled as it had been for the ceremony, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, a suitcase in hand exiting from the flat.

“Why didn’t you do it?” he breathlessly asked, startling her and making her drop the keys.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? What are you doing here?”

Harry stepped closer, hand cupping her cheek, insides trembling from all of the emotions coursing through his body. “Why didn’t you do it? Marry him? Why didn’t you say yes?”

“I – “ Y/N choked on her words. “I couldn’t say yes. It didn’t feel right.”

“Why?”

“Because it wasn’t you, I was saying yes to.”

That was all Harry needed to kiss her like he'd done once before. And this time, he wasn’t going to let her go. He’d made that mistake twice. He would never repeat it again.

“I love you,” he cried through a laugh. “I love you. I love you. I love you. And I’m never letting you slip through my fingers ever again.”

“How can you even think about loving me again after what I did to us?” she asked, pulling away from his lips.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re talking like I ever stopped. Through thick and thin. It’s what we promised. Think and thin, my Lovie."

***

A sixteen-year-old Harry and a fifteen-year-old Y/N laid outside in the grass of Harry’s garden; eyes trained onto the dark night starlit sky above. It was the day before his life changed forever as did hers.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Harry asked, trying to catch a glimpse of a shooting star.

Y/N scrunched up her nose. “No. I don’t think I do. And I don’t think I want one.”

“Why not?”

“What if they’re old and in their thirties? Or dead?”

Harry snorted at her response.

“And you?” Y/N turned her head to look at him. “Do you believe in soulmates?

He bit his lip and nodded. “I think I do. I think it’s two people who’ve been brought together, and no matter what happens will find their way to one another. Through thick and thin.”

"And what if one of them breaks the other's heart?"

"That's the thin." He looked at her. "And you don't give up then. It's when you need to love them even more."

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue @im-squished

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15 @breezykpop @girlboss99 @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist @alliyjane @sirtommyholland

A/N: Happy 2021 everyone! Hopefully things are better this year, and everyone stays safe and sound.

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. please don’t repost my fics on other platforms without specific written permission. Reblogs are a okay :)

931 notes · View notes

multi-fxndom446 · 4 years ago

Text

Secret love

Diavolo X Reader

I’m weak for Diavolo this man just wants to be included and loved😭

Also this story made sense in my head so I really fucking hope it still makes sense written down and I hope you enjoy it!!

(Lmao also I had to add a lil Mammon angst to hurt myself thank you)

Warning: angst a lil

When you were first summoned to Devildom as an exchange student, you never expected a demon to fall in love with you. Let alone seven.

What’s more, you didn’t expect to fall in love with the one demon you couldn’t have. The soon to be king himself.

We keep behind closed doors

Every time I see you, I die a little more

Stolen moments that we steal as the curtains fall

It’ll never be enough

When you first came to devildom your first priority wasn’t exactly love. More of trying to stay alive amidst the rage the seven brothers had as they all at one point or another tried to kill you. Hell one succeeded.

But now as you got more into the year, you found yourself being the center of attention to all of the brothers. It wasn’t as if you tried to make them fall for you, it just kind of happened.

Though now it’s not playing well in your favor. Many times you’d find yourself in the middle of a sibling fight over who you loved more and each and everytime they got the same answer. “I love all of you equally.”

Which wasn’t a lie. You did love all of them, but you weren’t in love with any of them. Not like you were with him. Diavolo.

The one demon you couldn’t have out of the whole devildom was the one you fell for. And he fell for you as well. Which is why this hurt the most.

You, along with the brothers, were at Diavolos castle, per his request. He said he wanted to have dinner with all of them so he could discuss with them the plans of a party he would be holding.

As always the dinner was chaotic, Levi accidentally exposing Mammon for stealing, Lucifer getting mad at Mammon, Beel eating almost everything on the table and so on.

You watched from your place beside Diavolo as you didn’t even try to simmer down the fight. That had only gotten you in trouble on more occasions then one.

When you were about to say something, you were stopped short. Your head snapped to Diavolo who smiled softly at you, his hand entangling with yours under the table and out of site from prying eyes.

Your surprise died down immediately and was replaced with a certain sadness that such a gesture had to be hidden. Sensing your mood change he squeezed your hand gently and you both went back to eating.

As you drive me to my house

I can’t stop these silent tears from rolling down

You and I both have to hide on the outside

Where I can’t be yours and you can’t be mine

But I know this

We got a love that is hopeless

On many occasions after a dinner or a party, Diavolo would request you stay behind to discuss how you were managing in the Devildom. And yet those conversations always last a few hours and none of the brothers questioned it.

He would always escort you back on the nights he held you back and your silence always gave away how you were feeling, he could read you like a book and you sometimes wondered when you became so transparent to him.

Tonight he insisted on walking so he could have more time with you, a decision that he was regretting now. He felt your fingers brush against his and you did as well because the next moment you pulled your hand away and it about broke his heart.

He knew you were doing it for him and he hated it with his very being. Why couldn’t you be the one he married one day? Why did the rules for a future king have to be so strict?

Finally you started up the path leading to the house of Lamentation but instead of a quick goodbye, you both stood just outside the front door. You were facing him now but your gaze was at the ground, you didn’t want to make him feel bad about the way your eyes glossed over.

He watched you for a moment before he reached his hand out to softly take a strand of your hair between his fingers. “Beautiful.” He whispered, causing you to finally look him in eyes.

“Why can’t I hold you in the street?” He seemed to be talking to himself, almost like he was saying his thoughts out loud. “Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that.”

You eagerly took his hand into yours, letting your hair slip through his fingers. “Why can’t it be like that? Cause I’m yours. Please Diavolo.” He could feel his resolve breaking.

Why can’t I say that I’m in love?

I wanna shout it from the roof tops

I wish that it could be like that

Why can’t it be like that?

He was so close to you now, only about a step away. He was reaching out to you again when suddenly he remembered where he was.

He pulled back just as the front door opened and Mammon came into view. “Oi! Y/n we thought you would’ve been back by now!” He pouted and you laughed to ease his nerves but Diavolo could see the disappointment as soon as your laughing stopped.

“I was just leaving.” Mammon almost jumped at the sound of Diavolos voice, having not noticed him until he spoke up.

“L-lord Diavolo, sorry I didn’t see you.” Mammon sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, scared he was gonna get chewed out again but was once again shocked when all he did was kiss your hand and leave.

You held your hand close to you as you watched him go. You knew kissing your hand was just a formality to others around you but to the both of you it held a much more sincere meaning.

As Mammon ushered you inside you finally turned away from Diavolo but now he was the one looking back at you, clenching his fists in jealousy when he saw Mammon’s arm wrap protectively around your waist. And then the front door closed and you were out of reach.

It’s obvious you’re meant for me

Every piece of you just fits perfectly

Every second, every thought I’m in so deep

But I’ll never show it on my face

Diavolo watched you from across the room as you talked away with the brothers. Some demon next to him trying to converse with him about a problem that Diavolo already was in the process of fixing.

He felt his chest warm at your smile and his heart flutter when he heard you laugh. Even from across a massive room filled with guests, he would always be able to hear your laugh.

From the corner of his eye he could see Solomon on his way towards you, he assumed to ask you for a dance like he had done many times. But the fluttering in his chest suddenly turned into a squeezing feeling and he felt his heart ache when he saw the slight blush on your face from whatever the wizard had said to you.

So before Solomon could steal you away for the night, Diavolo politely excused himself to go to you, letting Barbatos pick up the conversation where it left off.

You were just about to take Solomons hand when you both heard someone else approaching and you turned to see the prince with a smile that had a threatening undertone to it.

“Sorry to barge in but could I steal Y/n for a dance first?” Solomon didn’t get a chance to answer because Diavolo took your hand and led you to the dance floor before he could even get a word out.

You could’ve laughed if it wasn’t for the sudden nerves you were feeling being so close to him. It wasn’t like you haven’t been this close before but he always stopped himself before he could finally cross that boundary.

He felt chills go up his spine when you positioned your arm to rest on his shoulders and his around your waist while he still held your other hand in his free one. Oh how perfect your hand felt in his.

But we know this

We got a love that is hopeless

The dance was silent between you two. He didn’t know what to say, only now realizing this was probably a rash decision on his part.

You seemed to notice the new found lack of uncertainty as you looked up at him. “Do you regret this?” You asked him and something told him you weren’t asking about the dance.

“Regret what?” He still needed to hear you say it.

Your voice cracked a little as you responded, “falling in love.” Tears lined your eyelid and his hold on you tightened a little, “meeting me?”

“My darling I could never regret meeting you.” He was quick to say and he so badly wanted to pull you closer but he stopped himself. You could feel the way his muscles tensed in his shoulders as he held back. “Please don’t cry.” He Almost whispered out.

You nodded and looked up at the ceiling to try and stop them because you seemed to think he was more worried about others seeing the human exchange student cry while dancing with the prince when in reality it was tearing him up to see those tears.

“Y/n?” He called to you softly and you looked back to him. The tears you had been trying to get rid of only came back as you stared at his soft eyes, the way they looked at you with so much concern and love had you wanting to kiss him.

“Why can’t you hold me in the street?” You asked the question he had asked himself the day before, “why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?”

Wish we could be like that

Why can’t we be like that?

Cause I’m yours

His words died out on his tongue and in the next moment the song finally ended and you pulled away from him. “Y/n wait-“

But your hand slipped from his and he suddenly felt like the world was caving in on him. He watched you walk away from him, trying to discreetly wipe away your tears as you approached Mammon who immediately dropped what he was doing to turn to you.

Why can’t I say that I’m in love

I wanna shout it from the rooftops

“Y/n?” His voice was laced with concern upon seeing your tears. “What happened? Are you okay?”

His questions only made you want to cry more and you did. You walked up to him and buried your face in his chest as you let out as quiet sobs as you could. Mammon wrapped his arms around your shoulders, looking around the room for the reason you could be crying and he seemed to find it when his eyes connected to Diavolo who in the next minute turned away.

“You wanna go get some food? Come on let’s get out of here.” He lead you out of the castle and towards all the restaurants but didn’t actually go in any of them.

When he was far enough from the castle he turned to you. You were still trying to calm yourself down and he didn’t know if he should bring up what he thought was wrong. “Y/n please explain it to me, I’ll understand.”

“No no you won’t!” You cried before he said your name again, this time stern enough to get you to look at him and calm enough to calm you down. Your whole body went still at the understanding in his eyes. “I-I love him Mammon.”

Even when he could feel his own heart break at the confession he could feel it break even more knowing your heart was in complete shambles. “And he loves you?” You could only nod, “and you can’t be together because he’s a future king?” You nodded again. “Well screw those rules. If you love each other what’s the difference?”

“It’s not my choice to decide, it’s-“

“-his” he finished for you and you nodded. When he could see the tears start to come back he wrapped his arms around you and brought you into a hug, kissing the top of your head.

I wish that it could be like that

Why can’t it be like that

Cause I’m yours

Back at the Castle Diavolo was making his way towards Barbatos, who held a knowing look in his eyes. “I need to get air I’ll be back.”

“Shall I send Lucifer for you?”

“No” Diavolo was frustrated but he knew he couldn’t take it out on anyone else but himself. “Just let me be for a moment. I just-I just need to think for a moment.”

Instead of waiting for a reply he left. He made his way through the long hallways of his castle before ending up at a balcony. Not just any balcony. It was the balcony he realized he was in love with you.

You were leaned against the railing, admiring Devildom and he could see the sparkle in your eyes before you turned to him. He expected the sparkle to die out when your focus was on him but instead it only intensified.

He took in a deep breathe trying to gather all his thoughts when he heard footsteps approaching. He should have known Barbatos would still send Lucifer anyways. “I told Barbatos I want to be alone.”

“Barbatos didn’t send me.” Diavolo only glanced at him, “I saw you storm away after y/n left.”

I don’t wanna live love this way

I don’t want to hide us away

“So,” Lucifer went to stand next to him. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“With all due respect Lucifer, I really don’t. Not this time.” Never in his life had Lucifer heard Diavolo sound so disappointed, so..sad.

“It’s about y/n isn’t it?” If Diavolo wasn’t going to tell him, he would pry it out of him. “Did you upset her?”

Diavolo stayed silent for a moment, “yes.”

“Why?”

“Are you my therapist now Lucifer?” Diavolo snapped which allowed Lucifer to know he was hitting a sore subject.

“No. I’m your friend.” It was silent as Diavolo took in his words. He knew he was right and he knew he had to tell someone.

“I’ve upset her because I love her.” Lucifers gaze softened, “and it’s breaking her heart that we can’t be together the why we want.”

“Why because you’re the prince?”

“And because it would be frowned upon for the Demon king to have a human as a queen.” Diavolos sentence trailed off as he looked over the city lights.

“Who would care?”

“Lucifer-“

“No I’m serious. Who would care? The lower ranking demons? Diavolo you’re one of the most powerful demons I know, they wouldn’t even be in the question.” Lucifer stared at his friend who seemed to find solace with staring at his fingers. “If you wished for a simple human to be your Queen then you could have it. So what’s your real reason?”

He was silent. “The elders wouldn’t like it.”

“Screw the elders!”

“Lucifer!” Diavolo turned to him with shock written all over his face. He had never heard Lucifer be so disrespectful.

“Excuse my language but since when have you cared about what the elders think? You certainly didn’t when you made this whole exchange thing happen to begin with!” Diavolo turned away from him again. “If this is about my love for her as well as my brothers love for her, I assure you we only wish for her happiness. In this life and in the next that is all we will continue to wish for. So if her happiness is with you then we will bare it.”

Diavolos eyes widened in shock. It was almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulders hearing Lucifers words. As if to tell him it’s okay he fell in love with you and that they’d be okay if you loved him back. “Now it seems ive gotten through to you. Don’t you have someone you need to find?”

Diavolo turned to him, intending to tell him thank you but as he looked at him the words suddenly didn’t seem like enough. “It’s okay Diavolo. I know.” Lucifer finally said after seeing his friend struggle. “Now go.”

I wonder if it ever will change

I’m living for that day

Some day

You were still in Mammon’s embrace when Diavolo found you. Mammon was the first to see him and he gave him a pointed look.

“Y/n.” Your eyes snapped open when you heard his voice. You slowly pulled away from Mammon who was reluctant to let you go. You seemed to sense his uncertainty so you turned to him, to see if he’d be okay.

When he saw the hope in your eyes, the same hope he had when he looked at you, he knew he had to let you go. And so he did. He watched you walk to the prince and he turned and walked away so he wouldn’t have to hear what was about to be said.

When you hold me in the street

And you kiss me on the dance floor

I wish that we could be like that

Why can’t we be like that?

Cause I’m yours.

“I dont want to hide us.” He said to you, his body tingling with nerves as he watched you. You stood still unsure if what you were hearing was real so he took a step closer. “I fell for you.” He took another step, “I fell for your smile,” another, “your laugh” he was a few more steps from being right in front of you “your personality, everything about you.” He took those final steps to be right in front of you.

You seemed to hold your breathe. “Is this real?” You asked him, terrified he’d disappear.

He chuckled before grabbing your face in his hands, his thumb running across your bottom lip as he leaned down just a breathe away and before his lips touched yours he whispered a small yes.

Im yours

You completely melted into him, clutching onto his arms as your legs became weak from nerves. Without missing a beat one of his arms came to wrap around your waist to hold you up and to pull you impossibly closer to him.

His lips were as soft as you thought they’d be and mixed with the sharp canines he had in his demon form you were ready to succumb to him then and there.

When you finally pulled away from each other you were smiling. Neither of you wanted to step away from the other so instead you brought him back to you for another kiss. He’d die happy if your kisses are what killed him.

“Please can we not hide this anymore? I don’t care what anyone says I just want you. It’s always been you.” He whispered softly after you pulled away for a second time.

Your smile was the brightest he had seen in a long time, “I thought you’d never ask.”

#obey me luficer #obey me!#obey me diavolo #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me x reader #obey me imagines #obey me imagine #obey me! x reader #obey me! imagines #obey me! Diavolo x reader

170 notes · View notes

axwalker · 3 years ago

Text

CREEP 3: You're just like an angel

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Lexie O’Brien) Book TRR

Synopsis: Drake is a hurt, angry teenager. After being rejected by Lexie, he spends two years bullying her until he discovers the horrible truth behind her rejection.

MASTERLIST HERE

In this chapter: Lexie gets to know more about the boy hiding behind the monster.

A/N: This is Lexie’s POV. We’ll be in Drake’s head in the following chapter.

A/N 2: Thank you to my beautiful prereader @burnsoslow

Your suggestions made all the difference! LOVE YOUU ❤️

A/N 3: Thank you to @mskaneko for the edit that closes this fic. It’s gorgeous! I love youu ❤️

Words: 5,108 🙈

WARNINGS: Parental abuse, domestic violence, toxic love, abuse, bullying.

THIS IS NOT YOUR USUAL MARSHMALLOW DRAKE. He was abandoned as a boy, he’s tortured and he doesn’t know how to express love.

This is a dark love story. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE do not read it.

ALL MY FICS ARE 18+

TAGS ON THE COMMENTS --As this is darker than usual; I’m only tagging the people who commented in the previous chapters. If you want to get on or off the list for this fic; please do not hesitate to ask!!

LEXIE

Watching Drake put my duffel bag on the back of his motorcycle, my pulse is getting out of control on my neck. This is happening. I’m leaving home. I’m getting out, and I’m never coming back. And Drake Walker, my tormentor, is helping me. He actually defended me. The fact that I’m being helped by the person who called me a future trophy wife this morning makes this moment even more surreal. He’s had this tormented expression on his face for the last half an hour that’s stupidly making me want to hug him or make him feel better. For what, though? I don’t know. I don’t owe him anything, and still, I have this pressing need to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him everything will be okay.

When it comes to Drake, my emotions have never been truly logical. One second I hate him, and the next, I’m whispering his name in the darkness of my room, my fingers sawing against the wet cotton of my panties. My feelings for him are incredibly confusing…but I know asking him to back off was the right move. Even if I secretly miss his presence everywhere I turn. In my unstable world, there was something comforting about knowing he would always be there. Watching me. Hating me. Wanting me. That last part was never in doubt. He’s made that clear many times. That if I wanted, he would “give me a nice long hate-fuck in the back of his trailer.” And he’d always say, “No one has to know, baby,” in that deep, hoarse tone that keeps me up at night. Makes me shove my fingers down the front of my panties and struggle to breathe, sweating through my covers to an orgasm. I’m having those particularly sexual thoughts when he looks over at me, and I don’t quite manage to hide my lust. His movements slow, a dark eyebrow arching as he fixes on my mouth, my breasts. I’m a real hot mess right now. Beaten and bloody, but there’s no denying he’s still attracted. It’s always there in the rise and fall of his chest, the clicking of his jaw. The tenting of his jeans. How many times have I turned in class and—avoiding his gaze—locked eyes with his jeans instead? At least that’s one thing us poor fuckers have going for us. We know how to fuck.

Well, if I thought sympathy was a strange emotion regarding this boy, jealousy is even more confusing. Why should I care that he’s been with other girls? Obviously, he must have been with hundreds of girls to get good at sex. It’s none of my business, is it? I’m almost rid of him. And I don’t want to be jealous. Still, when he holds out his hand to help me onto the bike, I ignore it with a raise of my chin and climb on myself. You’re almost rid of him, Lexie. Get a ride and say goodbye. Unfortunately, I may have been a little overenthusiastic in asking to be taken to a motel. I’ve never been to one, but I know a credit card is required—and I don’t have one of those. Nor do I have enough cash in my wallet for more than one night. I need to figure out an alternative plan fast. Still looking damned tortured, Drake places his helmet on my head and gently buckles the chinstrap. Swallowing loud enough to hear over the passing cars. Helmetless, he brings the engine to life, the vibration so exhilarating; I wrap my arms around his middle on reflex.

I can feel taking a deep breath. “Lexie…” He can’t see me, so I give in to the impulse to press my cheek to his leather jacket, absorbing the warmth and his smell, earthy and so masculine.

“Yes?” Drake clears his throat, his voice even more profound. “My dad left me a cabin a few towns over. Near Portavira lake.” He pauses. “It’s very rustic, but I’ve been fixing it, so it’s clean, and it has a bed and some supplies. I could take you there. You’d be safe.”

It’s dangerous to start accepting more favors from him, but what choice do I have? My father made sure that I’m helpless. He did it with my mother and now me. Isolated us from everyone who might be a friend. I’ll accept his offer, but only because here and now, I promise myself I’ll find a way to help myself in the future. To leave my father and his house of horrors in the past. Maybe it can’t be done entirely alone. Maybe accepting help is the only option. That doesn’t mean I’m forgetting the way he treated me. Yes, I’m attracted to him but I also hate him. He’s made my life miserable for two years and I won’t let him --or myself, forget that. Maybe he’s hiding right now but I know Drake--as my father, has a monster underneath. His monster might not slap me or make me bleed but that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous. Poisonous words can hurt as much as one well-delivered blow.

“Okay,” I say, feeling him relax. “Thanks.” I’ll accept his help for now and leave as soon as I can.

He responds by turning on the engine of the bike again. That’s when I hear my father yelling my name from the back door of the house. His hands are tied behind his back, and he’s limping, blood coming out his nose.

“Alexis Jade O’Brien! You get your ass back here right now, or you’ll never be allowed back! You’ll be dead to me!”

He has to be joking; he’s been dead to me since the first time he hit me. I look back at the pathetic old man with every ounce of rebellion I have. Baring my teeth, I give him the middle finger and dismiss him. Forever.

“Good girl,” Drake murmurs a second before driving away. I don’t look back a single time. We drive for half an hour. After twenty minutes on the highway, the trees grow denser and denser, the road deserted. We don’t pass a single car on the way to the cabin, which comforts me when I should be worried. Shouldn’t I? I can’t allow the last two years of em2otional battle to mean nothing. To melt away in the face of tonight’s act of kindness. I meant what I said. I need Drake to leave me alone. To release the hold he has on me. I’ve cut one negative force out of my life tonight. The last thing I need is a replacement. But as I grow tired against his strong back, his woody and manly scent lulling me, encouraging the trust he doesn’t deserve, I worry leaving him might be easier said than done. Especially when we arrive at the cabin, and he lifts me off the bike, cradling me to his chest like I’m made of crystal, a moment too long before settling me onto my feet. It’s hard giving up his warmth, but I push off his chest, creating distance between us. He watches me back away like I’m breaking his heart.

“There is a shower inside,” he says quietly. “You can finally get the, uh…” He blows a breath. “…the blood off.” The sun sets as we stand there. It’s nothing like the light of the night we kissed. This time it's brighter, more intense. It must be the higher elevation.

“You’re not hurting anywhere else?”

“I’ll be fine.” Why is he breathing so fast? “What’s wrong, Drake?”

“What’s wrong?” He fights through a humorless laugh, sliding his hand through his hair. “Where do I start? Most urgent is…I know you’re going to want me to leave you here alone, and I don’t think I can. Look, if you want to lock the doors, I’ll sleep outside on the ground, Lexie, but please don’t ask me to go.”

He’s right. I was going to tell him it’s OK to go back to his trailer. There was a convenience store with a payphone a mile down the road. If there is no working phone in the cabin, I can still make calls, if necessary. I’m not sure what my next move will be, now that I’ve run away from home. But I know I’ll never be able to think with a clear head as long as Drake is around, looking at me like that. “Drake…”

“It’s just that once I leave, I know that’s it. You’re going to shut me out again. And this time, it’ll be your choice.” He paces away, still raking his fingers through his hair. “I deserve to be cut off. Fuck, I know that. Believe me when I say I hate myself right now, but if there was something I could do to make up the last two years to you, even just a little—”

I shake my head. Nothing can make up for the two years I spent loving him while he tortured me. There will be nothing between us.

“I understand.” His fingers rake his hair one last time. “You can go in the cabin. I’ll sleep outside; that way, I’ll be sure your—father won’t be back.”

Despite myself and my better judgment, I worry about him. “Outside? It’s cold and dark; I can go to a motel.” At least for one night, I’ll figure out what I’ll do after tomorrow.

“No way. Look, I won’t be able to sleep anyway. Just go inside and try to rest; I’ll be fine. I’m used to it.”

Used to what? Sleeping outside? “Isn’t there a couch or something?”

He shakes his head. “The cabin was in ruins until six months ago when I started working on it. There’s only one bed, but there’s a rug next to the fireplace. Please don’t leave. I—I need to know you’re safe.”

I know Drake would never abuse me physically. I might be naïve, but I just know he would never do it. And as much as it’s difficult for me to understand why I feel safe with him here. Still, I have to be smart, my instincts tell me to trust him, but my instincts have been wrong about him before.

“Does the room lock?”

“It does with a bolt that can’t be opened from outside. But you’re safe with me, Lexie. I swear.”

It’s his miserable look that makes me decide. “Okay, if it locks, I can stay here.”

We go inside, and he leads me to his room. When my bag hits the floor next to his bed, I get even more nervous. I just left everything I know behind me and have no idea what’s coming next. School will be over in a few weeks, but I can graduate earlier, thanks to my credits. I’ll need a job, save some money, get an apartment and apply for college in Cordonia. It’s overwhelming.

I don’t want to cry in front of Drake. I don’t want to show him I feel weak, sad, and pathetic, but something inside of me suddenly breaks, and before I can’t do anything to stop it, I’m sobbing.

Drake is sitting on the bed in a second, and he’s pulling me into his lap, trying to calm me down. “Shh Lexie, it’s okay. Cry all you need to. I’m here. It’s okay,” he repeats in a litany as he rubs my shoulders, kisses my cheek, then my nose. Why do I feel so safe with him? Why, after everything he put me through, do I want to be here with him more than anywhere else?

“Let it all out, Lex. You’re so strong, baby.” He takes a cloth handkerchief from his pocket and uses it to gently clean my tears. The piece of fabric seems so incongruous in his rough hands that I can’t help but smile a little.

“Is this yours?”

He shrugs. “My dad collected them. After he died, my mom gave all his stuff away. This handkerchief is the only thing I have left of him. And this cabin.”

“I’m sorry, Drake. I don’t want to ruin it.”

He smiles. “Ruin it? Impossible. If anything, now it's even more special to me.”

The softness in his eyes looks so sincere it scares the hell out of me. I can’t let myself forget who Drake really is. I stand up from his lap and put my bag on the bed.

“I’m really tired; I’d better go to bed.”

“Okay … can I just look at your wounds?” he asks as he inspects my face. “You have some nasty cuts,” he adds, his fist clenching.

When I nod, he takes my hand and leads me to his bathroom. The room is as simple and modest as expected. Block walls, no tiles on the floor, no curtain on the shower, and an old toilet. A million years away from the white marble bathrooms in my house.

He follows my gaze and blushes. “I’m sorry. This is not what you’re used to. I—uhm, I’m slowly putting it together when I have time and some money. I’m good with my hands.” I look at said hands, and there’s no doubt he’s good with them. They look big and calloused. Capable and rough but so gentle with me. I want them all around my body. As if he had listened to my silent demand, he grabs me by my waist and sits me on the counter next to the sink. My legs part on instinct, and he puts himself between them. We don’t talk for two long minutes until he opens the faucet and wets a towel.

“I just got the water running this week; Come on.” Gently --almost reverently, he washes and cleans every cut, every injury. Softly he brushes his thumbs over my face. He doesn’t speak as he does, but there’s a tension between us. A raw feeling that has always been there.

“Tell me about yourself,” I blurt out, desperate to break the moment.

“There’s not much to say. Sorry, Lexie!” he exclaims when I wince. “Does this hurt?”

“A little. I. need a distraction. Why do you live alone? I know your dad is –uhm, gone, but where’s your mom?”

“Gone too.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Drake.”

“Don’t be. She was a bitch. She died in a car accident two years ago. She was living in Texas back then.”

“I don’t get it. Two years ago, you were here in Cordonia.”

“Yeah, she left me after my dad died. Took my sister and left me here. Reminded her too much of my dad, she said.”

I remember Jackson Walker. Everyone in Portavira does. He was Liam’s dad's bodyguard and died protecting him. But that was five years ago. If his mom left just after his passing, that means Drake has been living by himself since he’s thirteen years old. It can’t be.

Drake turns around and opens a box in the corner of the room. When he turns back, he’s holding a Band-Aid.

“I keep these around. Construction can get nasty sometimes. Come here, Lex.” He cups my chin with one of his big hands while he cleans a cut next to my eyebrow. His touch is leaving goosebumps all over my skin. I hate to be this affected by him.

I clear my throat to avoid the embarrassment of talking in a squeaky voice. “So, who were you living with?”

“No one. My aunt got custody when my mom left, but her husband didn’t want kids. He made her choose between him or me, so I’ve been living on my own since I’m thirteen.” My heart breaks then. Not only at the fact that he had to live by himself when he was still a child, but at the way he says it. Matter-of-factly. As if it was the most normal thing in the world that his mother, his aunt, and his uncle abandoned him. As horrible as my dad is, I’ve never had to fend for myself. And my mom loved me so much. If cancer hadn’t taken her away, she’d be here fighting for me. Drake has no one. I can’t help the tears glistening in my eyes. “Hey! Don’t cry, Lexie,” his thumb moves from my eyebrow to my cheek as he wipes the tears off my face. ”I prefer to live by myself than go to a foster house. And Leona checks on me now and then.”

“If your mom died, where’s your sister?”

He takes a deep breath but doesn’t pronounce a single word for a few minutes. Finally, he clears his throat and speaks. “Savvy was with my mom in the car. She died too.”

I want to say something. Anything. But I can’t. Nothing seems like enough. Sorry is such an empty word—a stupid cliché. I’m horrified at my own muteness, so I do the only thing I can think of. I hug him. At first, he just stands there, his arms hanging at his sides. But soon, I can feel him giving in, his heart beating hard against my chest. He encircles his arms around me, wrapping me in the tightest hug possible. I don’t know who’s comforting whom anymore. I only know that I love being here, and I hope it’s giving him a little solace, this hug.

It doesn’t mean I’ll forgive or even forget what he put me through, but no one deserves to go through that kind of pain alone.

“I’ll be outside, Lexie,” he says when he finally lets me go. “If you need anything, anything at all, just call for me, okay?”

“Wait!’ I yell, so he turns around. “Are you really going to sleep on the floor?”

He shrugs. “I don’t mind. I just want to make sure you’re safe,” he hesitates as if he’s going to add something important. “Good night, Lexie.”

“Wait,” I feel my cheeks redden just thinking about what I’m about to propose. “You can sleep here, I-I know you won’t hurt me.”

“Never,” he says, a determined look on his face. “I would never hurt you that way, and you have no idea how much I regret how I’ve treated you in the past. But I’ll be okay sleeping outside. I know you’ll feel better sleeping here by yourself.”

I can’t deny that. I meant what I said about trusting him not to hurt me, but I can’t forget what he did either. “At least take this pillow and the blanket. I’ll manage with the pillow and the cover left.” He hesitates, so I insist. “Please. I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.”

After taking them and giving me one of the saddest smiles I’ve ever seen, he closes the door behind him and leaves me alone in the room. I lie on his bed, incapable of sleeping. The pain in his eyes when he told me about his little sister haunts me all night long.

The following day I toss around in bed, confused and angry at myself. I can’t have feelings for Drake Walker. I can’t forget the insults or the anger in his eyes, the hurt that his words caused me every -single time. I just can’t. I hate what happened to him. I genuinely do, but iI have to think about myself. Denying that I’m attracted to him would be preposterous. Our chemistry is strong and undeniable, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Maybe that’s it. Perhaps I just need one night with him, so I can move on with my life. Get him out of my system.

When I finally leave the bed, I find a note under my door: Went to buy some groceries, be back soon. DW

I go to the room where I assume he’s going to build the kitchen. For now, there’s only a more-than-a-few-years-old microwave and a cooler. I open the cabinets, but there’s barely anything there.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. I feel my heart slamming in my chest; if it’s my father, I have no means of defending myself. I’m about to escape through the back door when a woman’s voice starts yelling.

“Open up, Drake. I’m not in the mood today.”

I open the door because the voice sounds familiar. I recognize Leona, the principal’s assistant. And I know she’s related to Drake.

Leona arches an eyebrow when she sees me. “Ms. O’Brien, what on earth are you in my nephew’s cabin? Does your father even know where you are?”

“I’m 18. I don’t have to tell my father where I am.” I answer in a much bolder tone than I feel.

She shrugs, clearly uninterested. “Well, I brought this to my nephew. Tell him I want those signed by next week. We’re not going to lose thousands of euros because of some dumb nostalgia.”

She hands me a big manila folder, I take it, but she doesn’t let go. “Maybe you’re the one who can convince him.”

“Convince him about what?”

“His father Jackson left him this piece of land, but it isn’t worth a dime without cattle or money to invest in it. But, a couple of months ago a big company approached us, they wanted to build a landfill here. Drake refuses to sell. He thinks he’s going to honor his dead father by rebuilding this old piece of crap, but he will never have the money to do it.”

“Never.” The deep voice that comes from the entrance startles us both. “This was my dad’s dream. He wanted a ranch, and one day this place will be one,” Drake says, “I told you already, Leona. I won’t sell; I don’t care how much they’re offering you to convince me.”

“I’ve never denied that they’re offering me a commission for the sale, Drake. But I still think it’s the best move for you.” Leona leaves the papers on the table, turns and leaves the cabin.

“You love this land?” I’m genuinely curious.

He slowly nods. “It’s all I have left of my dad. He’s the only person that ever gave two damns about me.”

“That says more about your family than about you, Drake.”

He looks directly at me. His gaze doesn’t leave mine for a long minute. I want to get closer to him, to touch him. Not only to offer some comfort but because my body reacts to him in the wildest way. Just standing next to him in the kitchen, I feel my heart beating faster, my hands trembling harder, my sex getting wetter. The response he gets from me is maddening. And it’s making me insane. There’s no freaking way in hell; I’m going to have feelings for Drake Walker.

“I- I need to take a shower. I’ll eat later.” Without giving him any time to respond, I run to the bathroom and shut the door. I open the shower and get inside, desperate for some release, anything that’ll take my mind off him. His stupid perfect smirk and deep eyes. That voice of his, intense, soft, and deep at the same time. Those big hands, calloused and capable. Hands that I just know would know precisely how to touch me. Before I realize it, I’m coming as quietly as I can. Sadly, my relief only lasts a few minutes, my body needs him --Drake Walker, and no substitute would do.

When I come out, he’s waiting for me with a hot cup of coffee and a couple of white chocolate-strawberry muffins---my favorite kind.

We eat in silence, but I don’t feel the weight of it as I usually do. Ours is a companionable silence.

After breakfast, we decide to take a hike next to the lake. A bit of exercise and the lake’s breathtaking landscape might be exactly what I need to stop thinking about my father and the confusing feelings I have for Drake.

“I think I need a job. Do you know how I can get one?” I hate that I’m so spoiled, but I’ve never lifted a finger in my life. I have no idea how I can get a job.

“Uhm sure. Here in Portavira?”

“Actually, I was thinking of moving to Cordonia city after graduation. “Drake stops walking for a second. “It’s too late to enroll for next semester, but I can get a job and start college next year.”

He finally starts walking again and nods slowly. “What do you want to do?”

I blush. My dreams don’t include being famous or rich. All I want is a good, quiet life. Falling in love, having a family. Doing a job I’d enjoy and traveling as much as possible -even if it’s on a low budget. “You’ll think it’s dumb.”

Drake looks at me. “I swear I won’t, Lexie. There’s nothing you can say that I’ll find dumb. It’s just not possible.”

“I love books. They offer you new worlds. They allow you to escape and be someone else for a few pages. You can never be alone when you’re reading a book. I’d love to have a job where I would be surrounded by books. Maybe become a librarian and then open a bookstore one day.”

Drake nods but doesn’t reply. I knew he would find my dream stupid.

“I know it’s not much-“

He stands in front of me and tilts my chin until our eyes meet. “It’s amazing, Lexie. I was just thinking how great you’d be at it. Remember the top 5 assignment for Mr. Daniels?”

Of course, I do. Mr. Daniels, our English teacher, asked us to make a list of our five favorite books and recommend them to the class.

I nod. “Yeah”

“Well, I read all the books on your list. I checked them out of the school’s library and fuck, I loved them all. Especially the one from that Krakauer guy.”

“Into the Wild?”

“Yep. I really enjoyed it. The way that guy Christopher reinvented himself spoke to me.” He holds my gaze. “You’d be an awesome librarian, Lex. You would also be an amazing writer. I remember that short story you wrote for Mr. Daniel’s class. The one about the lonely girl and how she traveled through time with her mind. You have no idea how much I loved it.”

I can’t believe he remembers that story. We had that assignment more than a year ago. “I’ve always wanted to write, but my dad thinks my stories aren’t good enough.”

“Your father is a dick. Your stories are amazing.”

He looks at me in a way that makes my knees weak. The intensity in his eyes is overwhelming, so I feel it again. The connection with him. The desire. Maybe the only way this would go away is if I give in to it.

“There is something you can do for me,” I say, surprising myself. As soon as those two words are out of my mouth, though, I know there is something I need from Drake.

And he’s the only one who can give it to me. “Get you out of my system.”

He stands still as a statue. “What?”

“Get yourself out of my system.” It starts to rain, and it makes me speak louder, feel bolder and freer. “For two years, you provoked me, insulted me, stalked me, bullied me…” He makes a frantic sound, his eyes slamming shut. “And yet, I still—I still can’t stop thinking of your hands that night in my garden. How big and warm and rough they were. I can’t stop imagining you taking off my clothes. Even the ugliest things you’ve said to me, I imagine you saying them in my ear while you…while we…”

Drake falls toward me a step, clutching the center of his chest. “Lexie—”

“Please, get yourself out of my head. One night together. Okay, Drake? So I can get on with my life knowing fantasy was way better than reality. That I built up some unrealistic idea of what we’d be like together that we can’t possibly live up to.” My throat closes. “Get me on the road to forgetting you. Please.” As we walk, I can see the mixture of devastation and hope in his eyes.

“And what if reality lives up to the fantasy?”

“It won’t,” I say fast, with conviction. It couldn’t possibly live up to it. And yet I suck in a nervous breath when he crosses the divide between us, every cell in my body craving him. Fight or flight. In a matter of moments, he’s gone from wounded animal to determined predator, the rain causing his dark hair to hang low over one eye, dripping, his hands ready at his sides.

“Are you so sure, Lexie?”

Damn my hesitation. “Yes,” I whisper. “You’ll prove me right in one night. I can move forward without feeling like I’m leaving something behind.”

“What if your fantasies come true tonight? Could we ever move forward as…as an us?”

I can’t believe what he’s suggesting. “There can never be an us, Drake. Not after everything that’s happened. I’ll never change my mind about that.” I shake my head. “How can you think I would?”

“Maybe I think if I want it hard enough, it’ll come true.”

“It won’t,” I whisper, starting to ask myself if I’m making a mistake. Opening myself up for even more heartache and pinning for this man than I’ve already lived through. It feels like a lifetime’s worth. “One n-night.”

“No backing out from this point on?” My heart beats urgently.

“No backing out.”

He’s silent so long; I’m not sure he’s going to respond. And then, all at once, he reaches me in two strides and scoops me up into his arms. I realize he’s going to bring me into the cabin, “I’ve been studying you for years, Lexie O’Brien. I’ve been hanging on to your every sigh, every expression, and mood. Years. If you don’t think I’ve obsessed weeks of my life away over how you’d like to be fucked, baby, you’re sorely mistaken.” We reach the house in a matter of minutes, and he doesn’t stop; he just keeps going until we’re in his room. And oh God, I have made a severe miscalculation. Because Drake’s showing me exactly what’s always been in my heart and mind when I thought of us together, it’s my fantasy come to life, the two of us wrapped in the arms of the other. And as he turns me, urging my legs around his waist, his ravenous mouth bearing down on mine, I realize I might never recover from this.

#axwalker writes #tw abuse #tw toxic love #tw violence

71 notes · View notes

mrs-hollandstan · 4 years ago

Note

hello! could you do an angsty fic based on the song yes to heaven by lana del rey where reader is pining after peter but he just doesn’t realize please?

This is actually really cute and I kinda dreaded writing it at first haha

If you dance, I'll dance

Peter was your best friend. Since kindergarten. You were there always, and you, like Ned (and now MJ) knew his deepest secret. And even though he knew you like the back of his hand, he didn't know your deepest secret.

Tonight was Prom. The biggest night of your life, or what was supposed to be and maybe it would be, but you knew that you hadn't been asked to Prom by anyone which meant going "alone" even though you had a group of friends you'd be with, but you knew that he had asked her and that was somehow worse than not having a date yourself.

You'd watched him go for Liz, and you supported him, and you were glad when she went away. You thought he'd remain your little, single, best friend, but then his attraction shifted to MJ and it was like a punch through your heart. You had been heart-eyes for him for so long and he never noticed and you knew that even if he did, it would never come to fruition because he was your best friend. You were his and that was a big no no. You could dream though right.

And if you don't, I'll dance anyway

You had a beautiful dress and pretty heels and your hair and makeup were done to the best of your cousin's ability. You knew that you weren't ugly (you weren't the prettiest in school but who wants that, they're bitches anyways) and you knew that at least a few pairs of eyes would be on you. Even if those weren't Peter's, it'd be okay. You could fill that void with… Flash Thompson or something.

You found the group near the back, Peter and MJ facing each other as they danced together, but not touching, and Ned makes a noise, drawing your eyes to him. Betty leans against him,

"Wow Y/N, you look…"

"Killer." Betty finishes for him, admiring you just as much as her on-again, off-again boyfriend had. Damn, everyone really had someone huh?

"Oh yeah, you look nice Y/N." Peter speaks up in that overly innocent voice of his, eyes never leaving your face before he diverts his attention back to MJ who doesn't even give you a glance. When had he ever not called you by a nickname? Was that something he started doing when she showed up, calling you by your formal first name?

Give peace a chance

You fall into the routine. Distracting yourself with the less obsessed with each other couples and the singles in your group, dancing and mingling, sipping punch and snacking on crackers and chips and dip. It was nice. For once you didn't feel like you had to distract yourself from them. It was natural. Grooving along as a few slow songs replace the upbeat ones you were grooving to and joining the loners on the benches brought back that overwhelming dull feeling you had whenever you watched Peter with his girlfriend. The way he swayed, arms wrapped around her waist, forehead pressed to hers. What it's like to be Ned and Betty, unphased by the fact that your best friend is so helplessly in love with someone else while all you can do is suffer in silence being in love with them. You swallow back the tears and the lump in your throat at the thought of Peter marrying her, having kids with her, and you being alone forever. You have to look away. Downing a few more glasses of punch, Betty and Ned strike up a conversation, letting you forget about the searing jealousy within you. And it's back to the dancing soon enough.

Peter and MJ are comfortable enough that her back presses to his chest and he wraps his arms around her and they sway, singing together. Her smile is bright and so is his and it kills you.

Let the fear you have fall away

She turns to him, a faint squeak sounding along the polished floor since she's worn tennis shoes and his smile widens when she says something to him.

You've been in love with Peter since Kindergarten, you're pretty sure. He's always been adorable and of course you've always tried to chalk it down to him just being like a brother to you, but it's so much more. You've never realized how much you really do love him. He's been by your side, he's helped you through personal and work related issues, he's confided in you when it came down to Spider-Man and the emotional toll it was taking on him. He leaned on you and you let him, and you held back the tears until he couldn't hurt you or comfort you. He was oblivious and you seemed fine with it but if he knew, you knew he'd hate himself and he'd beg for your forgiveness, but he surely would never make you what she is to him. Their relationship is too powerful and he doesn't like you like that. It would never happen. Maybe it's because he's never had to save you. You've never put yourself in harm's way.

I've got my eye on you

As you watch, with his strong arms wrapped around her, he leans in the same way she does and they kiss, so softly you can practically see how in love they are. You've never seen them kiss and you could really have gone without it.

You glance away but the heartbreak is already setting in. Your breaths are short, chest tight, eyes stinging as you fight the tears.

What hurts the most is that you'll never be her for him. He has someone he loves while you obsess over him. You have no one now, and he has everything he's ever wanted. Sure, you're happy for him, but it still kills you.

Turning, Betty reaches out to hold your wrist, eyebrows knitting together at the look on your face,

"Hey, what's the matter?" You shake your head,

"N-nothing. I need… I need fresh air."

"I'll go with-"

"No!" The outburst draws all kinds of eyes to you including MJ's and Peter's, his eyebrows knitting together. Betty jumps as if she's been stung and her eyes widen just a little, Peter straightening up as a tear slides down the side of your nose, "I just… I need to be alone."

I've got my eye on you

You dart away from the group, your heels clicking along the polished wood floor until you're pushing into the halls. The music is muffled behind the closed doors, allowing you to drop down to the floor and sob. The cracking in your chest is so damn painful. It feels like any moment, your heart will disconnect itself and leave your body to avoid the pain.

The tears splash off the floor and you'd hate to see how your makeup looks but you don't think you're going back in there. You can't will yourself to convince people you're fine. Especially not your group of friends. As you're picking yourself up from the floor, the doors behind you burst open and Peter emerges, reaching out for your arm. He doesn't realize it when you pull it out of his reach,

"What happened? Are you hurt?" You shake your head, brushing your tears from under your eyes,

"I'm fine."

"You don't really expect me to believe that do you? You're crying at prom, in the middle of the hallway." He states like its the most obvious thing. You swallow,

"I just need air."

"Okay… I'll go with you."

"No, I need to be alone."

"I've known you my whole life and I know you hate being alone." If he thinks he knows you so well, why doesn't he realize he's the one causing you so much pain?

"There's a lot I don't like Peter."

"What do you mean? Y/N, what's going on with you?" He asks.

Say yes to heaven

Turning to him, you stare into those cool brown eyes, eyes that have always calmed you and you can't help it. Your lip quivers,

"You don't always have to understand what's going on with Peter. I can handle myself."

"You know I believe you, but you don't have to hide it. You can tell me anything. I'm your best friend and I would kill for you." If only that were true. I mean… you'd never wish death on her but… it'd be easier. It'd lessen your panic. You shake your head,

"It's fine Peter. Just… go back inside." You turn to start away from him but he has so much that tells him your every move. Not only, as a normal human, can he read you like an open book, but with this new superhuman power thing, he senses when something is wrong. His face shows it,

"I'm not leaving you. Especially with all that… suicide, drunk driving crazy crap going on that surrounds prom. You're storming out of there for no reason, crying and I… you shouldn't be alone."

"Peter-"

"No, talk to me! I'm your best friend and I am not going to let you die and have to tell your parents, your family, our friends that I didn't do anything to protect you." He yells. He really thinks this is a call for help, and it is, but not that way. You scoff, wondering how boys are so oblivious, glancing at him as you lean against the handrail behind you.

Say yes to me

"You really wanna know?" You ask him softly. He nods, moving in closer,

"Of course. I hate seeing you in so much pain." He tells you. Your smile is sinister because he's so damn stupid. Closing your eyes and rubbing a hand across your face, you sigh,

"I like you." Is all you state at first. He frowns, eyes glancing down at the floor. He's confused because he likes you too but he would never think you like him that way unless it was directly stated, "I've liked you since we were kids. And yeah, I'm so, so, so happy for you for having a girlfriend that loves you and you love her, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt for me. You'll never love me like that and that's fine but… I can't just watch you guys be in love. It fucking kills me." You explain to him. His mouth hangs open in shock and you cross your arms,

"I can't pretend to be fine around you guys. You and Ned got girlfriends and all and yeah, maybe I could get a boyfriend and it would hurt less but you know I love your personality and I always have and I don't know that anyone will ever come close to that. So now I'm alone and I'm not going to take you from her to pity me so I don't really… have a best friend anymore. If I want to be around you I guess I can just come find you and be a third wheel." You tell him.

Say yes to heaven

You watch his eyes change. He's panicking a little,

"Are you saying… you don't wanna be friends anymore?"

"It's not that we can't, it's that I… I don't know if I have it in me to put up this facade. I'm not telling you to give her up, I'm just saying… I think… now that we're about to split up for college… maybe it's time to start doing it now. I- it hurts too bad and I just… I can't."

"Y/N, please don't do this. You've been my best friend for decades. Why can't we just… I mean… I can figure out how to split my time between the two of you."

"No you can't. That's not fair to her and I'm not going to do that to you two. It's just better if I move on. I'll probably go to California for college anyways. It's for the best to separate ourselves now." You conclude. You don't know what will hurt worse, but after a while, you'll hurt less moving on without him. He takes another step forward,

"Y/N, c'mon, you can't do this."

"I won't ruin your life and I won't hurt myself because I have a selfish little crush on you I would've never acted on." You tell him. You stand and stare at each other before you stand and brush your tears from beneath your eyes, sighing,

"You're destined for greatness Peter Parker and it would've happened eventually. Now just gives me a reason to start." You tell him, voice shaky. His face softens,

"I don't wanna lose you." He says, his voice just as shaky. You shrug, crossing your arms and preparing yourself to walk away from your best friend for the last time. You sigh,

"I'm not going back in there. This is kinda… it. I have to go home."

"At least let me take you."

Say yes to me

"No! You have a girlfriend in there and I'm not going to let you! Goddammit Peter, I have to get away from you, don't you get that? I can't be what I need to and it hurts too much. Just… fuck off." The look on his face is pure pain. He hates that you're abandoning him. And maybe you should be forced to settle as just his friend, but you can't. You can't sit back and watch them be happy together. The pain is unbearable. They're better off without you and your selfish jealousy. He's better off without you,

"Y/N, don't do this. You're just as important as MJ, I can't go without talking to you. Please." You hold up a hand as he nears you again. You stare into each other's eyes, tears in both sets. You shake your head,

"I'll never be more to you than her. Maybe when we were kids but… we're different now."

"Y/N-" You shake your head again, swallowing the lump. You know he feels the same way you do. The pure dread of giving up your best friend because the love you feel for him is just too strong, "please." He whispers. It breaks your heart further as you meet his eyes again and sniffle,

"Goodbye Peter." You say. And you turn your back, and walk away from your ex-best friend. And it stings. But hopefully it will keep your heart in your body staying away from him. God you hope so.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader smut #peter parker #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #peter parker blurb #peter parker blurbs #My writing

182 notes · View notes

stevenbasic · 4 years ago

Text

8:10, there she is, good fucking god, I thought to myself, peering surreptitiously under the cheap window blind of my second-floor apartment, out into the parking lot. Already several strides from her white beemer, Melissa’s outrageous, hourglass figure grabbed my eye, my attention, my whole fucking beng. Tuesday morning, and I hadn’t actually seen her since Friday; I’d cloistered myself away in my office all day yesterday, refused to see anyone. So, now, watching her utterly magnificent hips in her tight black pants, her long legs strut her towards the building, her huge chest wobbling in a too-small, skin-tight turtleneck top...it was like filling a deep need of mine. What’s wrong with me?!? I fretted, as unconsciously my hand began stroking the huge erection already growing down my thigh...

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

He’s watching me he’s watching me I can feel it don’t look don’t look up at his window

<clack-clack-clack-clack>, the sound of Melissa’s new, size-12 red heels on the pavement, carrying her past other parked cars in the lot of Far Horizon Medical Associates. It was early - 8:10! I’m late! - but her mind was already on the big task at hand today: him. She hadn’t seen him since last week, he hadn’t taken as much as a single step out of his office yesterday, and his absence had confused her, bothered her, made her actually upset. Despite being so busy with all the excitement of yesterday, all the new girls, the new construction, an emptiness nagged at her, and there was an itch inside her skin that needed scratching. But now that feeling of his eyes, the thought, the mental image of him spying down at her from his little room upstairs, trying to catch a peek of her as she walked into work, animated her. She had grown used to the gazes of men, had learned to tolerate them and be patient with them. She’d grown accustomed to being the object of their attention, a magnet for it since middle school, but with him, these days, it was different.

She wanted him, she wanted his eyes on her. She craved his attention. And even beyond that, she ached for more from him….more than just him ogling her from a faraway window. She needed more than to be able to have him sit alone all day in his little office, doing whatever it is he does in there, when she’s outside, right there. She needed him to need her. Yes, he was married, technically, still, but she was impatient, now. She wanted him to realize it was over, that his life was changing. She needed him to realize what his next step should be...how much he needed her…

She needed to get him to sign those papers.

She put an extra sway in her hips.

Someone else is watching me too…

<clack-clack-clack-clack>

...there’s someone in that truck.

<clack-clack-clack-clack>

She smiled crookedly at the naughtiness of the plan that just materialized in her head.

Okay...okay...yes...let’s see how he likes this...

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Oooo, okay, yes, there she is… AJ thought, sitting low in his truck, surveying the lot, waiting for her white beemer to pull in. 8:10 in the morning and he was technically late to work; he should have been on the job ten minutes ago. But he’d been here all night, and damned if he wasn’t at least going to get a look at her, this boss-girl Melissa. He at least needed that, to cheer him. Angie had broken up with him, for real, yesterday, and he now had nowhere else to go. He was, now - ffff, shit - basically homeless.

Holy fucking shit, he thought to himself, as her tall, TALL body stretched up and up and up out of her 3-series. Jesus christ, he marveled, as his hand went between his legs, no woman should be allowed to be built like that.

She was walking across the lot, towards the building and closer towards him. She was going to pass right in front of his truck, right by him. He watched her, wide-eyed, and grasped himself through his utility pants. Though his windows were up he swore he could hear the <clack-clack-clack-clack> of her heels as she came nearer, now within twenty feet or so, now just right in front of his truck. He could actually feel them, through his truck, shaking the pavement. God she moves the earth, this girl, he goggled, agape at her huge ass as she passed, and right as - ohmigod! - she turned and looked right at him, over her right shoulder...

...and smiled at him.

Oh shit, he panicked, swiftly taking his hand out from between his legs, sitting up straight, and trying to smile back through the windshield at her. He was sure, dead sure, that she’d caught him gaping. That smile told him everything.

Oh god, no...no no no...he lamented, she’s turning around. She was turning around, bending over to look through his windshield, and - with a smile of recognition - waving at him.

Flushing red, AJ did everything he could as a man who’d just slept the night in his truck to look put together, calm and collected. She was coming back, around to his side of the car, and he began to roll down his window. He couldn’t help but goggle at her tits, right at eye level.

“Hiiii..!” she sang as she leaned in towards him, forearms resting possessively on the lower edge of the window frame. Her big hands were inside the space of the truck and, not even realizing it, AJ had backed away a bit from this larger person. “You’re Aaron, right? Angie’s, uh…”

She’s fucking gorgeous, AJ couldn’t help but think, momentarily dumbfounded by the twinkle of her eyes, the brightness of her dimpled smile. He knew he was staring, and- had she asked him something?

“Oh, uh - heh heh, yeah, sorry - boyfriend?” he finally managed, recovering his tongue. C’mon, Shaw, he thought, working to rally himself in the face of a beautiful girl, an opportunity to make something happen, you can do this, turn it on. “Well, ex-boyfriend…”

To that, Melissa smiled, and AJ’s heart skipped a beat. The body language this chick was giving him was all-signals-go. Leaned in as she was, she filled the space between him and the outside. Her body moved languorously, slightly rocking at the hips; anyone watching from the building would be getting quite a show as she swayed that ass slowly to and fro...

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

What is she doing?? he fretted, what the hell is she doing??

He’d watched her, covertly gawking from his little upper-level window, and had immediately started to worry when she’d stopped in her tracks, turned to talk to some guy in a pickup. A guy! One of the construction guys, he grumbled, knowing the jealousy that immediately tightened his throat was unreasonable, she shouldn’t be talking to a guy! She’s flirting, she’s totally flirting.

His pulse quickened, a cold shiver prickled his skin. He, this meathead, was probably tall, young, strong. Someone she’d find cute, attractive, maybe funny. It burned at him, and he hated it. But, from where he was, all he could do was watch.

Good fucking lord look at that ass…

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Melissa felt them on her, she felt his eyes, from that upstairs window. They were on her rear, and the gaze of them warmed her, brought a moist heat between her legs. In response she embellished it, displaying herself to him, lazily rolling her hips as she leaned over, talking to this skinny, nervous guy in the truck. He could watch her from his little post, from that little window, he could watch all he wanted. I like him looking at my butt, thinking about it. And he could have it, it could be his, she thought, presenting herself, getting wetter as she imagined him staring at her, maybe getting hard...

“I was a model, yes,” she answered, as AJ’s questions had come predictably to her appearance. She did her best to act flirty, though her thoughts were distracted, elsewhere, upstairs in that apartment. “That was me, the Mega-Milk girl…”

=====================

my apologies but I have no idea who did the morphing in the first image. I've left it untouched/no faceswap so if anyone can figure it out, I'd love to credit the artist. In the meantime, enjoy the curves.

More GITJ stuff at my Patreon

#growing into the job

64 notes · View notes

weasleypogues · 4 years ago

Text

jealousy is a two way street

request: Hi could I request a young Sirius black imagine where reader and Sirius have a argument blow up infront of the rest of the marauders in the dorm with lots of shouting because they are both to stubborn to admit either of them are wrong. Lots of snide remarks and sarcastic comments (also reader and Sirius are already dating) I love your writing

thanks so much!! hope u enjoy xxx

finally trying to get back into the groove of writing!! requests are open <3

masterlist.

“Fuck, Marry, Kill: (Y/N), Emma Cooper, and Allison Wood.” James called off names as the Marauders, Lily, and you sat in a circle in the common room. It was approximately 2:45 AM and after a stop at HoneyDukes, needless to say no one was falling asleep till later or at all for that matter.

“Kill Emma, Fuck Allison and Marry (Y/N) for sure.” Sirius answered without even hesitating. You slightly clenched your jaw and looked at the ground.

“Course.” You muttered under your breath and looked in the opposite direction of Sirius immediately. You mentally cursed James for even bringing up Allison and cured Sirius even more for choosing her. In the past you two had arguments because of Allison whether it be that she was getting too touchy with Sirius and he wasn’t stopping it or constantly talking about her when you two were alone. But why couldn’t he just choose Emma? Was he completely oblivious to the months of constant arguing?

Sirius Black knew how to get under your skin. As much as you loved him as your boyfriend, he could be a dick from time to time and found it hot when you would get frustrated after he would push your buttons. But this time he’d gone a little too far.

“What was that?” Sirius inquired, raising his eyebrows at you.

“I said ‘Of course”. Of course you would pick Allison instead of the sweet Emma. I knew this game would make me jealous but your dumb fucking answers are making me infuriated.” You replied, feeling like your whole body was on fire.

“Babe, we’ve been over this. She means nothing to me, I’d rather spend the rest of my life with you than be with Allison.”

“First of all, don’t babe me. Second of all, we endured months and months of conflicts because of her. She hates me! I hate her! It’s a two way street and you seem to stick yourself in the middle of it instead of choosing a side. You know how jealous I got when she would put her hand on your leg or on your arm. Run her hand through your hair. Or on date nights when instead of a nice and loving conversation it’s ‘Guess what Alli did today?’ or ‘Alli is actually too funny’.” You said, not taking a breath until the end. All of this anger and emotions that have been bubbling up inside of you were finally released and you didn’t feel any remorse at all.

He opened his mouth to say something but chuckled darkly and shook his head. “I’m not even going to say it.”

“No, say it. Please do. I’m sure we would all love to hear what you have to say.” You spat back, crossing your arms.

“For months on fucking months during our fights you know who you would constantly go to? James. My best fucking mate. My fucking brother. At points, I felt like you liked him better than you liked me. It made me feel like shit to see you two always having a good fucking laugh. You could have came to me! Yes, there was tension between us but never on earth would I turn you away. We could’ve figured this out a lot quicker and calmer if I didn’t believe you were out shagging my best friend.” Sirius admitted, his face beet red and hair wild. Your jaw dropped and you were at a loss for words. What you were feeling was exactly what he was feeling?

“Sirius I had no-” You started but were soon cut off.

“No idea, yeah I know. If you haven’t noticed I’m an expert at keeping my feelings hidden.” He grumbled. “You know what. I’m done. I gotta go.” And with that he stood up and left the room, walking up the stairs to the dormitory. You immediately stood up and was about to take your first step until a hand held you back.

“Give him some time to cool down. If you speak to him any more he’s only going to get more heated and it won’t help anyone.” Remus spoke softly and gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Fuck that, I’m going to talk to him.” James bursted out and shoved himself off of the ground and walked up the same stairs Sirius had moments ago.

“I really fucked up this time. If I had just kept my mouth shut.” You mumbled and ran your hand over your face and let that run through your hair.

“You didn’t fuck up. You were angry and there were still some unspoken feelings between you two. This will get resolved. Sirius is so whipped for you that he wouldn’t do anything to lose you. Trust me.” Lily state simply and gave you a reassuring smile. You let out a shaky breath and nodded before getting up and walking to your dorms.

“I’ll just let us both sleep on it.” You responded, though you were not completely sure of that.

“Give him a couple of minutes for he and James to sort this out between them. But you don’t want to go to bed angry, that’s not going to work.” Lily said, looking extremely sympathetic. You groaned loudly and let your head roll to the back of the couch.

“Why must you always be right, Lily?” She laughed in response.

“It’s just in my DNA.”

You waited downstairs for another half hour, fiddling with your thumbs and going through mini arguments in your head on what to say to him to clear this up. You heard the creak of the boys dormitory door open and looked up immediately to only see James walking out with his hands in his pockets, looking quite sheepish.

“I told him I’d send you up there.” James stated, taking a seat on the couch next to you.

“How’d it go with you?” You asked, worry written all over your face.

“Not that badly. He just needs a pair of ears. He may be dramatic but he isn’t the type to want to start yelling at you.” You nodded and with that, lifted from the couch and made your way up the stairs. You chose not to knock but just walk right in to see Sirius sitting on his bed and looking out the window that was next to it. He had his hands folded in his lap and was quiet.

“Sirius...” You said, hoping not to spook him, but in reality you just wanted to soflty grab his attention. Sirius moved his head slightly but still didn’t look directly at you.

“I’m sorry about, you know, everything. I never put myself in your shoes to take in what you must have been feeling when all of that was going down. It’s just that James knows you the best so I thought that he could give me guidance on how to make things right but I never realized how it must’ve looked to you. I really do apologize for that.” You said, still feet away from him, standing with your fingers interlocked with themselves. Sirius finally looked in your direction and gave you a small smile.

“Thank you, (Y/N/N). But really I should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have blown up on you down there. I just got jealous and didn’t want to admit I was wrong considering you going to James for advice is way different than Allison heavily flirting with me all the time. It’s hard for me to take blame where it’s deserved and I let my pride get the best of me. But I want to assure you that you’re the only girl I ever want to be with. Allison is Allison and that’s it. You mean the world to me and absolutely no one could ever get in the way of that. Not even my pride.” Sirius responded, worry etched in his furrowed eyebrows and glossy eyes as he slowly made his way towards you and grabbed your interlocked hands.

You subtly smiled, realizing if you showed anymore emotion that the overwhelming amount of emotions you were feeling right now might make you start crying. You instinctively let your body nuzzle right into his chest and you wrapped your arms around his torso, taking in his warmth and scent. He didn’t hesistate to wrap his arms around you and kiss the top of your head a couple of times.

Pulling your head away but keeping your arms around his body, you looked up at him and smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sirius responded with, not hesitating whatsoever. You leaned in for a long kiss and were in each others arms for a few moments longer.

#harry potter imagines #Marauders #marauders era #marauders imagines #marauders imagine #marauders era imagines #peter pettigrew #young peter pettigrew #Sirius Black #young sirius black #sirius black imagines #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #James Potter #young james potter #Remus Lupin #young remus lupin

190 notes · View notes

writingmyanxietyaway · 4 years ago

Text

Cloacked Heart | Jackson Avery

Requested by anon: Hi😊💕 Are you taking requests? Also, I wanna tell you that your works are very good💯👏👏👌🏻 and then, I was thinking on using “Oh, do you ever shut up?”; “You can call me whenever you want.. Even if you don’t have a reason to.”; “Tell me I’m wrong.” where the reader is DeLuca's sister and gets to work for the first time with Jackson but they don't get very well at first :) xx

Word count: 2.7k

Warning: none

Note: not my gif! kinda enemies to lovers

Thank you so much, darling! It really means the world to me :) Hope you like it xx

#11 - ‘Oh, do you ever shut up?’

#46 - ‘You can call me whenever you want.. Even if you don’t have a reason to.’

#67 - ‘Tell me I’m wrong.’

------------

Today was your third week at your new job. Thanks to your brother Andrew, you got in at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Before, you worked in a hospital on the other side of the country which you thoroughly enjoyed but due to staff cuts, you had to leave. Being incredibly good at what you do, you got offered some jobs but none of them interested you. So Andrew spoke to his superior and got you a job as an attending in OB/GYN. Your sister Carina worked in OB/GYN also, so that’s where your fascination and passion for this specialty came from.

‘Hey, Y/N! How’s moving in going?’ Arizona asked, handing you a coffee. You took a sip and let the hot beverage slip down your throat. Warmth spread through your whole body as you enjoyed the bitter taste on your tongue.

‘It’s going okay, actually. All I need to do is paint the walls and I’m done,’ you nodded contently. Moving in was less stressful than you thought it would be, thanks to your newly made friends here at Grey Sloan. Arizona was the first person Andrew introduced you to and since he’s her roommate and head of Ped’s, you knew you would most likely see each other more.

‘Cool! Hey, you wanna come over for dinner on friday? I’ll kick Andrew out and we can have a girls night. If you want I’ll invite the other girls too,’ she said, pointing to the three sisters at the end of the hallway who waved at you.

‘Yeah, that would be fun. If it’s not a bother to you, that is,’ you said. You hated being a bother to anyone and always did your best to keep to yourself. Especially since you were new, you didn’t want to intrude. All of the staff seemed really close to each other by what you had seen so far.

‘Oh it’s no problem at all!’ she waved off, ‘And besides, after such a stressful time you deserve a glass of wine. Or bottle.’ She winked at you and left to check up on het patients. You knew you had surgery tonight, so you decided to lay down for a little in one of the on-call rooms. Thinking about your life before and now made you smile. The job you had was great, but they didn’t let you do what you did best; save lives and deliver babies. There was always someone who was better than you or stole your patients. It was unfair and definitely uncalled for, but being here made you feel appreciated and welcomed. You hadn’t met everyone yet, but so far you got along with everyone.

You heard a knock on the door and got up. It was one of the interns who told you the surgery had been moved to the afternoon. You decided to check on the patient before surgery, but someone already beat you to it. A man was talking to your patient. He was tall, muscular and had piercing blue eyes. You knew it was Jackson Avery, as you had seen on the board earlier today, but you had yet to meet the man. Your breath hitched for a moment and that caught the attention of both your patient and the still unknown man.

‘Hi, sorry to interrupt. I’m doctor DeLuca. I’ll be performing your surgery with doctor Avery,’ you introduced yourself to the patient with a smile. She shook your hand and then turned her attention back to Jackson. He explained every step of the surgery. She was pregnant with twins, but her skin had been completely stretched out, making the continuation of the pregnancy very dangerous. You would deliver both babies safely while Jackson restored the skin. It wasn’t a risky procedure, but it did require some skills. Hence the two of you being here. Once he was done explaining, she felt safe enough and two interns took her to pre-op. You handed the tablet to one of the nurses, who you remembered was called Linda, and turned to Jackson.

‘I don’t believe we’ve met yet. I’m Y/N DeLuca, ’ you said with a smile and held out your hand for him to take. He shook it and nodded at you.

‘Jackson Avery. Let me be clear straight away. Don’t try anything funny with me or anyone in this hospital. This hospital is funded with the money I provided, so this placed is owned by me, no matter what anyone says. I can kick you out as easily as you came in. So, let’s do this surgery, because I have more to do today.’ Not waiting for an answer, he turned around and left to prep for surgery. You stared at him until he left and shook yourself out of your haze. What crawled up his ass and died?

When you tried to leave, you bumped into Andrew.

‘Hey, Annie,’ you asked, hearing him groan behind you. You had called him that since you caught him singing along to Annie: The Musical one night. He hated it ever since, but after doing it for so long his actual name sounded weird so you just kept using it. ‘Is Jackson always such an ass?’ You turned around and watched his face turn into a frown.

‘No.. most of the time he’s the nicest guy around, why?’ he asked. He saw you frowning and stepped towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder. ‘Did he do something?’

Your sister was older than you and he was younger, making you the middle child, but he always protected you like an older brother. Whenever you felt sad or angry, you came to him first before anyone else.

‘No, nothing happened. I just introduced myself and he started going on about me not trying anything funny here because he could kick me out if he wanted to,’ you mumbled.

‘Hmm.. maybe he has a bad day? I can talk to him if you want me to?’

‘No, it’s okay. I’ve got surgery with him, so I’ll talk to him. I gotta go, see you tonight?’ you asked. He nodded and smiled.

‘Goodluck, peanut! Page me if you need anything.’

You scrubbed, changed into different clothes and stared operating. You could see how tense Jackson still was, so you tried to lighten the mood.

‘So, Jackson, how long have you been here for?’ you asked. Your hands worked flawlessly and Jackson noticed. He was pissed off at someone new coming to work at the hospital again, thinking it would only cause more drama again, but you seemed actually nice and talented. It sparked a little jealousy in him that he hadn’t felt before.

‘Long enough,’ he grumbled. You couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was. His eyebrows were furrowed and he watched the skin he worked on closely. You had seen his work before and it was incredible.

‘Okay, well..’ you started, ‘Not to kiss your ass or anything, but I think you’re a great surgeon and I am really looking forward to working with you more in the future.’

There was no response as you continued on delivering the babies. You soon delivered a boy and shortly after a little girl.

‘There they are. Please take them to either doctor Robins or Karev. They’ll check up on them and inform the parents. I’ll be right there,’ you told the interns with a smile and they quickly left.

‘That was really nice, you know.. Saving the hospital and all. I couldn’t-’ you got cut off by a load groan of Jackson.

‘Oh, do you ever shut up?’

Shocked at his sudden snap, your hands froze and your breath hitched. He seemed to be okay with what he said, since he just kept going. What you didn’t know was that he didn’t mean to snap. It was like he lost control over his mouth, because when the words left his lips, he was shocked himself. Snapping at a woman like that was very unlike him, so when you mumbled out a sorry, he wanted to apologize, but the words were stuck in his throat.

The ‘shut up’ incident had been almost a year ago. You had worked with him a few times after that and he talked to you more often now, but luckily Arizona offered to take your surgeries with him so you could take over hers. She had truly been your best friend since you started at Grey Sloan, besides April. The three of you got along incredibly well and you even went out for dinner once a month. Andrew and you had switched apartments, so you now lived with Arizona and he lived in your apartment.

It was saturday and you were about to leave, but you wanted to check on you patient Amy one last time before she left. She was allowed to leave tomorrow and you had the day off, so you wouldn’t see her anymore. Sofia was 18 and was now a mother of a healthy baby girl. Her parents refused to see her as they were religious and didn’t approve of their daughter having sex before marriage. So you kind of took her under your wing until she left.

‘How are you holding up?’ you asked her, sitting on the end of her bed. She smiled at the little peanut laying on her chest as she wrapped her little hand around Amy’s finger.

‘I’m okay. I guess all the cliché’s are true. Whenever I look at her everything just falls away. I’m going to be okay. We will be okay. I know we are,’ she spoke and you felt extremely proud of her. When she came in, she was terrified, alone and hurt. Now, she was all grown up and not scared of what the future would bring.

‘I’m proud of you, Amy. I really am. You have my number, so if anything happens or if you need anything, just give me a call, okay?’ She nodded and you hugged her goodbye. You caressed the little girl over the head and was about to leave when suddenly her heartbeat picked up and she started seizing. You took the child away as you yelled at nurses to help you, but to no avail. She had a heart attack and didn’t survive. The baby was taken away to the pediatric wing and her body was taken to the morgue. You sat in the middle of the room, staring at the place Amy laid alive and smiling just a little over an hour ago. Your bottom lip trembled and you could feel your throat closing up as you choked back a sob.

Jackson was about to leave too, when he saw you sitting alone in an empty room quietly crying to yourself. He glanced around to see if anyone knew what you were doing there, but when he saw no one even noticed you were sitting on your own, he stepped in.

‘What are you doing here?’ he softly asked you. He noticed you tensing up, but something inside him told him you needed someone to be there for you. Clearly you were shaken up, so he couldn’t just leave you here alone. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to you. He followed your gaze and it didn’t take long for him to realise you’d lost a patient.

‘How old was she?’ he whispered. You let out a shaky breath and wiped away your tears.

‘Eighteen. Heart attack,’ you whispered back, your voice breaking. His heart clenched when he saw you so broken. You always wandered and skipped around the halls, a smile on your face and carrying positivity with you everywhere you went. Seeing tears falling down your cheeks and a frown on your face was nothing like you.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, placing a hand on your thigh. You felt a spark of electricity flow through your body and turned to face him. His eyes held remorse and his eyebrows were furrowed in worry.

‘I’m sorry too.’

You two sat like this for a few minutes. Sitting in silence cleared your head. You enjoyed Jackson’s company and it made you feel safe and warm to know he wanted to know if you were okay.

‘Come on. I’ll take you home,’ he offered, holding out his hand for you to take. You gladly took it and placed the chairs back on their spots. You got in his expensive car and silently drove to Arizona’s and your place. When you arrived, you didn’t get out right away.

‘Thank you Jackson. You didn’t have to do that, wait for me, I mean. But thank you for waiting and being there. I appreciate it,’ you told him, not daring to look him in the eyes. You could see him nod in the corner of your eye.

‘No problem. If you need anyone, you can call me whenever you want.. Even if you don’t have a reason to.’

Your heart fluttered at his words and you blushed. He reached out for your hand and kissed the top of it.

‘Goodnight, Jackson. Thanks again.’

Three years you had been working here. Since the passing of your patient, you and Jackson got along surprisingly well. Others seemed to notice as well, because both of you got invited to parties and dinners more, because you finally could be in a room with each other without one killing the other. Either of you were unaware of the feelings you shared for each other, that seemed to increase more every day.

‘Hey Jackson, wanna come over for dinner tonight? Arizona is out and I don’t wanna sit alone all night,’ you asked him, flopping down on the couch next to him. He seemed to ignore you as he continued playing on his phone.

‘Jackson? Are you okay?’ you asked again, this time softer and turning your body to look at him. You saw him swallow thickly and nervously play with his beard. It felt like a slap to the face when he ignored you. After three years you could finally have a decent conversation and now he was shutting you out again..? It simply didn’t make sense.

‘Did I do something wrong?’ you whispered. You swallowed the lump in your throat and Jackson finally looked up at you. He had to say it. It was now or never.

‘Tell me I’m wrong,’ he stated. His eyes held fear as he looked you in the eyes.

‘Wrong about what?’ you asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. ‘Jackson, what’s going on?’ Placing a hand on his knee, his eyes flickered from your hand to your face.

‘Tell me I’m right to believe you share the same feelings I have for you,’ he breathed out. Your heart beat loudly in your ears and you felt like he could hear it. He placed his hand over yours that laid on his knee and interwined your hands. You couldn’t believe it. Taking you silence as an answer, he chuckled bitterly and let go of your hand.

‘I guess I was wrong,’ he mumbled, standing up. You quickly stood up too.

‘I want to tell you you’re wrong, but that would be a lie. And I can’t lie; not to you. I actually wanted to tell you the same. Tonight. If you wanted to of course.’ You stumbled over your words as you tried to tell him how you felt. He chuckled at your rambling and he cut you short by placing a hand in your neck and pulling you against him, kissing you softly. His lips were soft and full and he smelled amazing. You closed your eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck and standing in your tip toes to pull him closer.

‘Only if it’s a date and I cook for you,’ he whispered against your lips. You giggled and nodded, making him smile.

‘I’m sure we can arrange that.’

You leaned in again, but froze when you heard a voice behind you.

‘Oh come on! Not you too. Now I’ve lost both my sisters to my co-workers. I shouldn’t have offered you the job, damn it,’ Andrew grumbled.

‘Oh, shut it Annie. Your time will come,’ you called after him, earning a middle finger in return, making you and Jackson giggle.

#andrew deluca #andrew deluca x reader #andrew deluca imagine #giacomo gianniotti #jackson avery #jackson avery x reader #jackson avery imagine #jesse williams #greys anatomy imagine #grey's anatomy imagine #greys anatomy #grey's anatomy #prompt 11 #prompt 46 #prompt 67

396 notes · View notes

whereisten · 4 years ago

Text

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Part 1 Preview | Part 1 | Part 2 Preview | Part 2

Summary: After a fun-filled graduation night, your heart is torn between your two best friends, Ten and Lucas. A fire is ignited between the three of you that isn’t as easy to calm as it was to start. And this lustful fire, just like any fire, spreads and seeks to destroy anything in its path, for there is no telling what Ten will do for you, or rather, to you.

Pairing: King!Ten x female reader (as well as Prince! Lucas)

Genre: Royalty!AU, love triangle, angst, smut, fluff

Warnings: manipulation, possessiveness, blackmail, cheating!, character death, mention of blood, alcohol use, smut!: threesome, unprotected sex, penetration (v and a), oral sex (m and f), hand job, fingering, fondling, c*eampie, biting, bdsm (paddle use, choking, rope use), orgasm denial, overstimulation, semi-public sex.

Word Count: 33.4k

Taglist: @suhweo @5shotsamericano @alreadyblondenow @khiphoptrash-0 @adorejaehyn @08skrr @ateez-babygirl

A/N: omggg it’s finally here! This fic is part of a group project organized by @neo-cult-ure . We are very excited to share this with you. It is a story set in the 19th century but based on the song “I know what you did last summer” Camilla Cabbage and Shawn Manatee. We took liberties with the time period, just a warning. We worked REALLY hard together and hope you enjoy!! Please reblog and comment, we’d love to know what you think❤️ as always, this is a work of fiction. The way we portray these idols should not be taken seriously or misconstrue anyone’s perception of them.

PART 1

[FEBRUARY 1894]

“You look wonderful, darling.” Your mother tightens your corset one final time as you hoisted yourself up on the dresser.

You look into the mirror in front of you and watch as one singular vein threatens to pop out from the center of your forehead. The thing about the “lovely” corsets you had to wear was that while they gave your body amazing curves, they gave you nothing but discomfort. But in the words of your mother, “A woman is only as worthy as she looks.” So yes, beauty is pain but beauty is also success.

“Ten would be a fool to not choose you as his wife next year.”

Oh, and that too. She wanted you to look good for Ten. She wanted all eyes to be on you at the Graduation Party you would be at later, but most importantly, she wanted you to look absolutely irresistible for the crown prince, aka the wealthiest bachelor in your country at the moment.

You and Ten had been best friends since middle school, and you admit, you’ve admired him since then. You weren’t sure if it was love, lust, or just a small crush..you knew you felt something when you looked at him.

Even so, the butterflies you felt in your chest when you saw a Ten couldn’t hold a candle to the family of birds that flew about inside when you looked at Lucas.

You met Lucas the same day that you met Ten. At the single cherry blossom tree not too far from school, that’s where you three had met a few years back.

You were sitting on the trunk of the blossoming tree, the falling petals decorating your hair and sticking to your wet cheek as you cried. A girl in school had bullied you because the boy she liked actually liked you. She made fun of your looks and even your family while your classmates just laughed.

So you ran as far away as you could. Eventually finding the lonely cherry blossom tree that stood so gloriously in the middle of a large field. You brought your knees to your chest and let your head fall onto your folded arms. It was bright and warm outside, the wind blew off of the lake behind the tree, making you feel comfortable and calm.

You raised your head slowly when you heard the laughter of two boys as they approached the tree.

“Do you think Ms. Hong will tell on me to your father?” One of them asked the other.

“Who cares..grades don’t matter when you’re of high status like us.” The other one sounded nonchalant and boastful.

You quietly sniffled and rubbed your eyes, hoping that you wouldn’t be noticed on the other side of the tree.

They continued to converse and a few minutes later you hear them gulp down something. One of them made a strange hissing sound while the other laughed.

Almost immediately, you can smell the harsh scent of alcohol. Your face scrunches, and suddenly a petal flies into your nose, making you sneeze loudly.

They both yelled out in shock when they hear you.

“WHO’S THERE?” One of their voices is raised in alarm.

“I’m-I’m sorry..I was just..sitting here to be by myself for a bit...” You sniffled as you stood up slowly.

The two boys stood up as well.“Why didn’t you say something? Were you just eavesdropping like a creep?” The shorter one asked with disgust.

“N-no..I’m sorry I was just-“

“Are you okay?” The taller one stepped forward. He noticed your red eyes and damp cheeks. You looked to the ground to avoid eye contact. You couldn’t see that he had already started to fall. You were so beautiful, and he wondered how he had never seen you before.

You stepped back and nodded. “I’ll be leaving now, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No-no you don’t have to..” He turned to the shorter one and raised his eyebrows. It was as if he was silently telling Ten to be nice and invite you to their drinking party. Ten got the hint and was hesitant, but he too had a strange feeling in him when he saw you.

“Um..you don’t have to leave. Maybe talking about it will make you feel better.” Ten stepped forward and smiled.

“I’m Ten..this is Lucas, what’s your name?”

You finally looked up at the pair of dashingly handsome young men. Lucas in particular caught your attention because he was just so tall. His smile was warm, as if it was competing with the sun itself. But Ten was just as bright, his eyes crinkling at the sides as his skin dazzled.

“Come on, let’s get to know each other. Drink this and you’ll feel better, I promise.” Ten took your hand and helped you sit back down.

And that was the beginning of your friendship. The three of you did everything together through middle and high school, and had spent plenty more time at the tree.

Today, in your early twenties now, your friendship had reached its apex. You’ve all finally graduated and are able to focus on your individual royal duties. And while you couldn’t wait to be finished with tedious school work, you were nervous for what was to come. You could no longer rely on each other for company at any time in the day. Would your friendship still flourish as you became adults with families and responsibilities?

Ten held the graduation party at his castle because it was the largest one in the land and his parents would be away that night for a trip. It was basically his until he got back.

You bid your parents goodbye once they dropped you off and handed you over to Ten.

Ten stood at the door gawking over you. You always look beautiful but tonight you looked..angelic. Your hair and skin were radiant in the moonlight, and Ten swore you were untouchable, ghostly. It felt as though you were some fairytale brought to life. He had welcomed so many other graduates from your school to his palace that night, but none of them stopped time like you did. Your silver gown was cinched tightly at the waist, making the top of your breasts look especially rounded.

“What do you think? It’s a bit much, isn’t it?” You laugh when you see him staring.

Ten gives you a large smile. But before he could speak, Lucas’ boastful voice echoes out.“Perfect..you’re perfect, y/n.”

Lucas steps from behind Ten and closer to you. You didn’t notice Ten’s smile fade as you shift your focus from him and to the tall man beside him instead.

Lucas’ goofy smile and deep voice make you blush and you hope you didn’t possibly look as hot as your cheeks felt. Lucas takes your hand and leads you inside. Ten follows behind and closes his lips tightly.

The two men both wore their royal suits that were decorated with honorary badges and stripes. Their hair was fixed back and they both looked older, more mature. They no longer looked like those rule breaking teens you met at the tree that day in middle school.

The party was filled with every graduate. Live music played and drinks were being served in every corner of every room in the extravagant, gold-filled mansion. Lucas couldn’t help but watch you as you sipped your drink. All the girls watched him, but he couldn’t get over you.

And Ten felt the same way, however, as the host, he didn’t have much time to just stand around and talk with his friends. He had to greet everyone while Lucas spent time with you.

Out of the corner of Ten’s eye, he could see Lucas’ gaze and smile.

It made him feel...left out. But he also couldn’t ignore something else. A desire for you. A desire for Lucas. A desire for requited love. The lust he felt brought out a jealousy that ate at him. He loved you both and he wanted to be with the two of you..badly. This friendship was everything and more to him, and he’d hate to feel like he were losing it.

He finally made his way over to the main ballroom once all of the guests were accounted for.

“You guys look nice and ..comfortable,” You say as you hold your waist and let out a heavy breath.

Ten chuckles. “I’m sorry you have to wear that.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry too.” You grabbed another two glasses and downed them in an effort to numb the feeling of the wires that relentlessly dig into your mid section.

Lucas smirks. “That’s my girl.” He downs another glass too as Ten watches him eye you up and down, the alcohol clearly taking effect on the both of you.

The band started to play a new song, distracting Lucas and giving Ten the perfect opportunity to get some alone time with you. Ten held his hand out quickly and looked at you through wide eyes.

“Dance with me..please.”

You nodded and took his hand, a look of surprise on your face at your best friend asking you for a dance. Usually he’d want to play a game or talk until the sun came out. A dance was very uncharacteristic of him.

But still, you stepped closer to him. He gently took both hands in his and pulled you closer to his chest, keeping his eyes on yours.

“So this is it?” Ten says softly.

You hum and look down to his neck, his gaze too intense for you to follow as you sway back and forth slowly.

“I guess it is.” You nod.

“We..can still hang out right? You, me, Lucas.”

“I’m not sure..my parents are strict when it comes to me fulfilling my royal duties, I may not have time. I have to get used to wearing corsets and makeup like this all the time..which sucks but..”

“You look amazing.” Ten gives a small smile that makes your throat close up. You had known this boy for years yet it felt like you were dancing with a handsome stranger.

You swallow hard. “Thank you, Ten.”

“I have a feeling we’ll be together for a long time.” Ten knew he couldn’t let you go, he knew that when given the chance, he’d choose you as his wife. Your parents expected the marriage as well as himself. But what about Lucas? Surely he could keep Lucas around, but he wouldn’t be able to touch you or even to gaze at you for long because you’d officially be his.

“What makes you think that?” You ask, eyes low and tracing over his parted lips. The alcohol has made you slightly dizzy and lustful. You started to think of Ten’s lips and how they’d feel on yours

“I see the way you look at me, sort of like how you’re looking at me now.” His heart beat is on yours, slowing down to match the tempo of your rumbling chest, his steamy breath taps the crook of your neck as he leans down.

Your eyes close once you feel his soft surface of his beautiful lips graze your neck. Ten gives you a gentle kiss as you whimper quietly. He wraps an arm around your back to push your body closer to his. Your chest starts to heave and your body begins to feel weak at Ten’s touch.

“Ten..” you whisper but your whining is still loud enough for Ten to hear over the violins.

It’s just the two of you in the middle of the ballroom as Ten nibbles the skin of your neck softly.

And just as you’re about to moan his name once more, you’re startled by a tap on your shoulder. Your eyes open quickly when you recognize the fresh scent of someone other than Ten.

“Lucas?”

Ten also moves quickly to remove his lips from your neck.

“Another drink?” Lucas asks as he forces a smile. Both you and Ten can see that he is forcing it to hide a look of disappointment. He looks hurt and confused.

This felt wrong, but it also felt so right, like you had cheated on a man that you love with another man that you love.

You look at Ten who also looks sorrowful, his mouth falling open but no words seem to come out.

You shake your head. “No thank you…I feel like I can’t breathe...” You hurriedly brush past the two men and head up the large grand staircase.

You walk down the long hallway and let yourself into the room at the very end, hoping that no one will find you as you try to collect yourself.

Your hands fidget as they untie your dress in the back and slide the top half down to your hips. You then start to untie the corset, but get tired, plopping yourself onto the bed while breathing heavily.

“Damn it.” You curse to yourself quietly. How could this happen so fast?

Ten made you feel intoxicated and needy, but Lucas’ face made you feel sadness. You didn’t regret that moment, you’d been waiting to be touched by Ten and it finally happened.

You stood up again and went to untie your corset.

A few seconds pass when you’re startled by the door opening. You turn around fast, your hands covering your chest as you ask, “Who’s there?!”

“It’s me! I’m sorry..I—I’ll leave.” Lucas glances at your exposed body for a millisecond but quickly turns around to leave.

“Wait..Lucas..”

He stops, his back still facing you.

“I need help..”

Lucas turns back to you slowly. You turn your back to him and drunkenly point to the laces in the back.

“Please untie this for me so I can know what it’s like to breathe again.”

Lucas chuckles softly and it’s like music to your ears. He walks over slowly, his heavy steps on the wood floor making your heart race each time he gets closer.

He finally towers behind you, keeping eye contact with you through the huge mirror that stands in front of you.

Lucas goes to untie it, but smirks when you shiver from the light graze of his fingers against your back.

“What was that?”

“I-I don’t know.” You stumble over your words once you break eye contact and look at a painting on the wall to the right.

“Did you like it?”

You look back at Lucas through the mirror. His expression is dark, daring and that’s when you notice that he is untying your corset at an unbelievably slow rate.

“I..”

“I’m your best friend too, you have to be honest with me.” Lucas takes his middle finger and runs it down along your arm, his eyes glued to your exposed shoulders. “What did it feel like to have his lips on you?”

The low lighting in the room provided a sharp contrast to the bright aura in the ballroom you both were in before. The ballroom was decorated by enormous chandeliers. Instead, in this room, there was one single lamp in the corner of the room and the moonlight that poured in through the large window beside the bed.

The new lighting allowed for you to see the sharp features of Lucas’ gorgeous face, how his high cheekbones made him look dangerously handsome. His expression was dark as he spoke, his lips pursed.

“It felt..good.”

“I want to make you feel good too, will you let me?” Lucas’ voice is even lower than it was a few minutes ago. You breathe heavily, but having your corset a little looser than it was before makes it less painful. Your legs close tightly as Lucas’ husky voice makes you wet.

Lucas fixes your hair from one side of your neck to the other side then leans down and kisses you. A weak breath leaves your open mouth as your head instantly falls back.

Lucas lips are plumper but just as soft as Ten’s. His delicate kisses make your heart race.

“Yes..” Your eyes close as Lucas begins to suck hard onto the warm skin on your shoulder.

His hands hold your waist as he pulls you closer, your back falling flush against his broad chest. Your hands reach behind you and find his head. Lucas moans when he feels your dainty fingers massage his scalp. He then kisses your jawline while you back into him more. He glances down to see your breasts rising up and down rapidly as you grow hotter.

His touch was everything you needed right now. Ten’s kiss made you needy and you knew you needed more.

You moan when you brush against Lucas’ pelvis and feel his hard member poke your back. You reach down and palm it through the fabric, earning a throaty groan from him.

He humps into your hand while still sucking your neck. “y/n... I need you.” His breath, coated in alcohol, hits your neck, leaving it with goosebumps once you hear his low voice.

You turn to him and look into his eyes. They search yours, quietly asking for approval as you lick your lips.

You continue to palm his member, his breathing became shallow and you knew he couldn’t take your teasing much longer.

You push the dress past your hips now and down to your knees. He holds your hands as he helps you step out of it. Your corset still on, you lead him to the bed where you push his chest lightly, making him fall onto it.

He sits at the edge and watches as you shimmy his pants off for him. He then takes his jacket off and unbuttons his shirt before tossing them both to the side where his pants and your dress also lie.

You are about to get on your knees when he holds your arm to stop you. “No..your knees will hurt..on the bed, my love.”

Hearing him speak so softly and tenderly to you while calling you his love made your heart flutter. You couldn’t help but smile widely.

He pushes himself up on the bed and towards the headboard where he sits up straight and rests his back.

“Come here.” He whispers.

You crawl over slowly and watch as his lustful eyes fall onto your breasts still accentuated and pushed forward by your corset. You only keep it on because while it did hurt, it makes you feel unbelievably sexy.

Once you are finally over his hips, you look into his eyes as you draw down the waistband of his underwear, his length sprung free, the tip red and leaking with precum already.

You lick your lips as you marvel at how big he is. You figured he’d be big based off of his towering height, but you didn’t expect this. Your womanhood trembles when you imagine what it would feel like to be filled up by him, you feel yourself leak through your own underwear at the thought.

You run a hand along his abs as he breathes heavily and watches you through wide eyes. Lucas had dreamt of nights with you for so long, he never thought it would actually happen and now he was over the moon. But deep down, he wants to make sure you are comfortable.

“Y/n..we don’t have to..”

“But I want to, I really do.” You lean down and start by kissing his tip, teasing him as you barely stick your tongue out. You look up at Lucas watching his mouth fall open as you flatten your tongue against it.

You lick the shining liquid that trickled down the sides like it was an ice cream pop while your ass stays up in the air. The sight of you like this for him makes him dizzy, he imagines himself pounding into you from behind on this very bed, hearing your moans, feeling you clench around him as you grip the sheets.

His dick twitches in response to his wild imagination and the fact that you finally take the tip into your mouth, swallowing him to hear him groan.

You move your mouth down as far as you could onto his length, but stop when you feel him hit the back of your throat. You use your hands to cover the rest.

Lucas’ head falls back while you hollow your cheeks and lick across every vein. He resists the urge to buck his hips upward and make you gag.

“y/n..God, that feels good.” His eyes close as he listens to the sloppy slurping sounds fill the cold air of the room.

You hum to send a vibration onto his dick and make him tremble, his mouth falling open as he gasps.

You withdraw your mouth from him and pumped his member with your hands, letting spit fall onto him while looking up at his gorgeous body, the way his abs flexed as he tensed to keep himself from releasing too soon.

You were both too enraptured with each other to notice that the door had been opened.

Ten’s eyes widen at the sight of you bent over, taking Lucas into your mouth while your round ass stuck up in the air. He almost immediately feels his pants grow strained.

He felt a growing tension between the three of you, but he didn’t think that it would lead to this. He enjoyed watching Lucas be pleasured and while he wished it were him being the one to bring these throaty groans out of Lucas he also wished it were him underneath you, watching as your cute cheeks became filled with nothing but him.

He too had imagined many times what it would be like to make love to you. To have you calling out his name into the night.

He knew neither of you noticed that he was watching from the doorway, your moans growing louder as each second went by and Lucas got closer.

He would’ve pleasured himself quietly as he watched, but that jealousy he felt lit a fiery lust that needed to be put out. He had to touch you or Lucas.

He slams the door shut, startling both you and Lucas. You flip your body over beside Lucas’ legs and quickly wipe your mouth with your arm.

Ten walks over slowly, a devilish smirk on his face as he looks at your two bodies.

“Ten! It’s not what it—“ Lucas opens his mouth but struggles to form coherent sentences.

“Shhh..it’s okay, keep going.” Ten shakes his head and watches you intensely. You can’t tell if he is jealous or upset with you, it was a poker face that you just can’t read.

Both you and Lucas felt sorry for what felt like betrayal.

You look to Lucas, your eyes pleading for him to tell you what to do. When you are met with silence you then look back at Ten.

“Ten..touch me.” You swallow hard and look up at Ten, your look of worry fading into that of lust. You liked them both, you needed them, and since Ten already caught you, why not make the best of the awkward situation?

You and Ten look back at Lucas who gives a small smile and nods. You get back on your knees and reach out for Ten who walks over to the edge of the opposite side of the bed.

Lucas strokes his member which surprisingly hadn’t fallen since Ten arrived, the idea of a threesome only made this hotter for him. He watches as you help Ten take off his jacket then unbutton his shirt with shaking hands.

You don’t know why you were nervous when it came to Ten. The alcohol is wearing off and you aren’t as brave as you were when you first started with Lucas.

Ten’s feline gaze on your body makes your face hot and his exposed chest didn’t make it any easier for you. Ten takes your shaking hands into his and pulls you closer to him. He leans down and kisses you deeply, your eyes closing as his tongue enters your mouth to embrace yours.

You turn your head and let your tongue trace over the inside of his mouth before tugging his bottom lip between your teeth. Ten enjoys the taste, thinking of how Lucas’ precum that once coated your tongue is now on his.

When he finally lets go to breathe, he opens his dark eyes and gazes at you. He leans down, his bottom lip brushing lightly against your ear lobe.

“He needs you..” He whispers lowly and tilts his head towards Lucas.

You nod and head back over to him, you’re still light headed from your passionate kiss with Ten. One that you had to admit was filled with years of sexual tension.

You retake your position over Lucas’ lap and bend down to take him into your mouth once again. Lucas licks his lips and groans.

Ten steps out of his pants and walks to the side of the bed. He begins to stroke his own member as he watches you work your mouth on Lucas while face down, ass up.

You’re beautiful with your heated skin sparkling in the moonlight, your hair pushed to the side and your pretty hands around Lucas’ member.

Lucas then holds a hand out and looks to Ten.

“She’s been a good girl..you should touch her.” Lucas tells Ten before biting his lips and reaching out for Ten’s hard and glistening cock.

Ten lets Lucas take it in his hand and stroke it for him. His mouth falling open as he watches Lucas’ large hand wrap around him, spreading the pre cum as he moves it up and down.

Ten then places his hand onto your butt cheek, circling around it before giving it a smack.

You feel your walls clench after the action and moan, the vibrations in your throat then making Lucas groan as well.

Ten traces two fingers over your covered womanhood, then draws the soaked underwear down your legs so you are exposed to the cold air. You hiss at the exposure, but it’s cut short when you feel two of Ten’s icy cold fingers on your entrance.

Ten’s heart beats wildly as he is touched by Lucas and touches you at the same time.

He feels that this as confirmation that you both love him just as he loves you and it makes his head spin.

He circles around your folds slowly, then on top to collect your juices. He teasingly slides between them with just one finger.

“Ten..please.” You withdraw your mouth from Lucas’ member and cry out. You’re yearning for some friction, anything that will calm the aching between your legs.

Ten chuckles at the site of you begging, then presses two fingers into you. You fall forward and whimper as you clench around his long fingers.

You go back to sucking Lucas as he pumps Ten harder. He bucks his hips into you because he’s close and your moans push him to the edge.

Ten’s fingers curve into you, pushing against your sweet spot over and over. You breathe heavily and close your eyes as you tremble around him.

Ten leaks all over Lucas’ hand while they both watch and listen to the lewd sounds created by your mouth and wet opening.

Ten then thinks of something else he’d like to see, so he takes his fingers away leaving you a moaning mess as you feel empty again.

He takes Lucas’ hand away from his dripping cock then goes behind you, pulling your hair so that you kneel into the bed, your back straight as Ten presses your back to his chest behind you. You lick your lips and look at Lucas.

Lucas looks puzzled as he watches Ten turn your head towards his. He kisses you passionately again, this time from behind and you can feel his member poke your ass.

Lucas was so close to cumming, and he is somewhat annoyed by Ten stopping everything completely to kiss you. You both kiss sloppily as Ten’s hand goes to your front side, tapping against your clit to gain a cry from you.

Ten lets go of your lips, his mouth still close to yours as he looks into yours eyes. “If it gets to be too much say the word ‘gold,’ or tap either one of us three times.”

His voice is softer now, he looks at you with so much care and concern.

You nod before he helps you get rid of your underwear completely. Now, you kneel over Lucas’ lap in nothing but your corset.

“Do you want to feel him inside you?” Ten whispers into your ear as you lick your lips. Lucas bites his own too as he watches you hover over him.

“Y-yes.” You let out breathily.

“Good girl..ride him.” Ten releases his grip on your waist and lets you go forward to Lucas.

Your legs are shaky as you spread them open over his member; still sturdy and up straight.

You sink down slowly. The air is filled with gasps as his cock is enraptured by your velvety walls, filling you up easily and stretching you out.

You move up and down a few times to get used to his girth while he moans. His abs flex under you, his broad shoulders and biceps tense as well. His hair is dark with sweat and still pushed back as he bites his lips and watches your pussy swallow him whole. He runs his hands up and down your thighs as you move.

Ten gently pushes you forward so you press your hands flat onto Lucas’ pecs. You bounce on him and look into his eyes.

Ten aligns his aching cock with your ass and slowly slides it in.

You gasp at the feeling of his round tip stretching your hole out.

You let out a whimper when he holds your waist to push into you even more. It was a strange feeling, but he gave you time to breathe and adjust. He’s only about halfway in, but you are completely filled up by the two men.

“Do you want me to keep going?” Ten asks, his voice strained as he struggles to hold his desire to push all the way in.

“Yes, Ten.. don’t stop.” You want to please them both and everything was so hot already, you couldn’t imagine stopping now.

Ten pushes more and you let out another cry, this time it’s louder.

Lucas is tempted to tell Ten to stop, he’s worried for you but he swallows hard and holds your hand tightly.You look up at his face of worry and breathe heavily. You give him a reassuring nod before moaning.

Ten finally pushes all the way in as the air leaves your body, you fall onto Lucas, your head in the crook of his neck as Ten begins to move in and out of your small opening.

Ten groans. “You’re so tight, sweetheart.”

“Good girl, you’re such a good girl for us.” Lucas pushes your hair out of your face and kisses your cheek before wiping away a tear. He kisses your lips to help you through it. He can feel your heated body tremble from being so filled up, and while it is hot, he couldn’t help but be worried for you.

For a moment, you are transported to paradise when you kiss Lucas, his lips felt so good on yours, they felt like a warm hug in the winter. You mewl as you lick across his bottom lip.

Ten is jealous by the kiss because he can tell that you and Lucas are entangled with each other. Even when Ten is inside you, even when Ten holds Lucas’ hand, you both are still enraptured with just each other.

Ten holds your neck, lightly tugging you away from Lucas. Your eyes fly open as you are separated. He then runs his fingers through your hair and grips it before pushing you down into the bed. You’re face down in the bed now as Ten’s pounds into you harder, clearly upset that you were not focused on him for a moment.

He pushes faster, letting his thrust push your body forward. Your corset begins to shift downward as your breasts fall out of it from the repeated rough thrusting by Ten.

Your body is in a strange, contorted position as it is fucked into by two cocks. You can feel the two members run against each other, separated by a thin, silky wall. The friction feels amazing, for they both slide in and out of you easily. Lucas helps you by moving his hips and rubbing your back.

He holds Ten’s hand with his other hand, intertwining their fingers and locking eyes with him as they both groan and pant.

They fuck into your lifeless body, filling the room with filthy noises. Your essence runs down your thighs in a steady stream and onto them both. It’s a mixture of pain and pleasure as Lucas’ tip presses into your insides when he goes deeper and Ten continues to bury himself into you, his pelvis making a slapping noise as it hits your ass cheeks.

You start to kiss Lucas’ neck, then suck onto it.

Lucas moans. “Fuck, I’m close.”

Ten gives you a harsh thrust, causing you to accidentally bite into Lucas’ neck.

Lucas becomes undone with the action. He attempts to slip out of you so he doesn’t cum inside, but Ten smirks, gripping your hips and pushing you back down onto Lucas. Lucas has to release into you as he sees stars and groans. You clench around him as a result, feeling every twitch and vein as he releases deep into you.

Ten cums too from all of the vibrations he feels against his cock while inside you.

He buries himself so deep while you whimper into Lucas’ shoulder.

You cum hard, your eyes roll in the back of your head as Lucas holds your body still.

You all breathe heavily, your body relaxing into Lucas as Ten pulls out of you and falls to the side.

But Ten isn’t done. He crawls over you and flips your body over so you’re facing him.

“Put your legs on hers.” He instructs Lucas.

Lucas sits up, his back against the headboard once more as you rest in between his legs. He doesn’t question Ten, he only does as he’s told, for he too is curious to see what he has in mind for you. Lucas places his legs on yours, entangling them so he’s in charge of where they go.

You’re too tired to say anything, your chest rising and falling as you are still reeling from your climax.

Ten gazes at your breasts and hard nipples. “You’re so beautiful, I just want to taste you..I want to taste you both.” Ten gets onto his stomach and crawls over to your opening, his breath fanning it as it leaks of cum from both you and Lucas.

You’re still sensitive so his hot breath makes you flinch, you try to close your legs but Lucas forced them to stay still.

Ten licks his lips. “Open.” He doesn’t look at you, he only looks at Lucas.

Lucas spreads your legs open by moving his longer ones, bending them at the knee so they’re further apart.

Lucas then plays with your nipple, pinching it lightly before pumping your breast. “That felt good, right? Do you want to cum again, baby girl?”

Your eyes are closed when Lucas’ faint whisper enters your ears. You can feel his abs flex against your naked back. His body is hot and comforts yours, almost distracting you from the cold air between your wavering legs.

“Yes..” You murmur before swallowing hard. You were greedy for both men, ready to do whatever they wanted you to.

Lucas’ large hands on your chest has you ready for another climax.

He nibbles onto your ear before kissing your neck again while Ten leaves a sloppy trail of kisses from the crook of your knee to the apex of your thighs.

His mouth latches onto your thigh, sucking the skin hard between his teeth. He then runs his skinny fingers in between your folds, drawing a slow circle to gather your essence as well as Lucas’.

Your mouth falls open into a lousy cry, to which Ten responds to by shoving those fingers into your mouth.

“Suck, baby, taste yourself.” Ten’s breath fans your opening, making you flinch.

You close your mouth and suck hard, licking between the two fingers as your eyes close. Ten watches everything, he enjoys the way your tongue feels on him, and the way Lucas’ large fingers continue to play with your perky nipples.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” Ten beckons your attention.

You open your eyes and look into his just as he licks a long stripe up your opening.

You whimper and try to close your legs again, but Lucas easily overpowers you. You’re more sensitive than you thought.

Ten chuckles and licks you slowly again.

You look at the dark haired man between your legs and cry out when he gives a look so wicked it makes your heart weak.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, how about you, Lucas? Have you wanted to fuck our sweet princess?” Ten emphasizes the word ‘fuck’ and it sends chills up your spine.

He kisses your entrance then buries his face into the apex of your legs, licking into your opening as his perfect nose presses against your clit.

“Oh God, Ten!” You cry out and your head falls back. You’re still sensitive and you try to escape from Lucas’ grip, but you have no such luck.

“Of course, Ten.” Lucas’ warm breath hits your neck as he speaks against it. He watches his fingers flick across the hard nipples that stick out from your perfectly round breasts.

He squeezes them hard as he feels himself grow again. “I’ve always wanted fuck our beautiful friend. I can just imagine how sweet her pussy tastes.”

Ten pulls away and licks his lips. “She tastes like the most expensive meal I’ve ever had, Lucas.”

Hearing them talk dirty about you makes you clench around the tip of Ten’s tongue. The idea that they’ve fantasized about you makes that familiar knot in the base of your stomach begin to grow again.

Ten grows hard as well at the sound of your whimpers and the taste of your wet flower.

He pushes two fingers into you again, all while kissing your clit and eating you out while you were spread open for him.

Lucas takes your hand and places it onto his member. “Sweet girl, touch me.”

You begin to pump Lucas as he groans into your ear. The low tone of his voice makes you clench around Ten’s fingers. You begin to feel dizzy, Ten’s tongue drawing circles onto your clit as he finger tips curve into you and press against your G-spot repeatedly. He licks everything up before flattening his tongue against you while you jump. You moan loudly, and you’re not sure if the other attendees at the party heard you, but you realized that it got quieter. Maybe it was because they were all going home now.

Ten withdraws his fingers when he feels that you are close. He fixes himself over you and holds his cock while licking his lips.

Now that you’ve gotten a good look at it, you see that it’s not as long as Lucas’ but has a curve and girth that is sure to drive you mad.You bite your lips and look at Ten with wide eyes as he strokes it.

“That’s it, baby, you want my cock in your pussy now, isn’t that right?”

You nod, but Lucas takes your chin into his hand. “Use your words, baby girl.”

“Y-yes. Yes, fuck me, Ten.” You beg and whimper.

Ten smirks and lowers himself. He teases you more by tapping the tip of his cock onto your bud a few trikes. He then guides the tip along your folds, parting them to coat his pink tip with your essence.

“Ten..please.” Every time he touches your entrance, you feel your heart begin to race in anticipation.

He watches closely as he pushes into you hard, your body moving upwards against Lucas as the air is knocked out of your heaving chest.

You close your eyes tightly while you adjust. Ten grips your waist hard and uses it as an anchor to pull his body into yours more, pushing all the way into you so your skin slaps against his.

Ten pounds into you relentlessly from the front this time while you pump your hand up and down around Lucas.

Ten presses your legs further apart, you feel like they might break as his hips snap into yours. You cry out his name, your eyes watering. His cock runs against your walls rapidly as he chases after his high. His hips make a slapping sound. The curve of his cock allows him to press against your sweet spot and his rapid speed makes you clench.

Your head falls back against Lucas as he grunts into your ear. “Fuck this is hot, seeing you like this..”

“We’re gonna make her cum harder than she’s ever cum before...” Ten’s hair sticks to his forehead, his mouth falling open as he gets closer.

“Choke her for me.” Ten demands as he watches your swollen lips. He wished they were wrapped around his cock, but being inside you and feeling your silky entrance tighten around him was enough for now.

Lucas wraps a hand around your throat, squeezing it gently. “Harder.” Ten demands.

You moan as he tightens it, your pussy quivering in response. You arch your back.

Ten chuckles, he grips your knees then leans down and kisses you while sliding in and out of you still.

“Ah! Ten!” You can feel yourself clench every time he enters your quivering body.

You’re lightheaded as he rubs circles into you, making you a trembling mess.He bites your bottom lip as he lets go, his movement stuttering. He moves his fingers onto your bud faster.

Lucas grips your throat tightly as he is about to cum as well.

“Cum for me.” Ten’s husky voice enters your ear before he leans down to Lucas. He sucks his neck hard as Lucas cums into your hand, gripping your neck even harder as he climaxes.

You cant breathe, you clench uncontrollably and moan, releasing onto Ten’s dick as he presses against your bud one final time. “Ahh..good girl.” Ten’s husky voice enters your ears.

Ten then releases into you, your convulsing pussy gripping his length into a tight hug as you orgasm. He moves sloppily, thrusting into your still body to push all of his cum deep into you.

Your breasts moving up and down as you try to collect yourself.

Ten pulls out and looks down onto your weak body. Your legs are still open and he can see his cum leak out of you and onto your thigh.

He isn’t pleased with this so he takes his fingers and swirls it around your opening, collecting the juices and pushing it back into you. He was jealous of the way Lucas came inside you, and for Ten this meant that he wanted you to be filled by him, he wants to know that he’s still inside you.

You struggle to get away from his fingers. “Ten..oh my God.” You cry out at the overstimulation.

“I’m gonna make you feel good again.”

“Lucas—“ You whimper.

Lucas distracts you from the overwhelming feeling by tilting your head towards his. He kisses you while Ten’s fingers keep you open.

Ten’s fingers easily glide inside but you’re so sensitive, tears start to fall from your eyes.

There is not more strength left in your body let alone your widespread legs.

“Lucas..you have to feel our sweet girl.” Ten takes Lucas’ hand, placing two fingers over his then pushes all four into your throbbing hole.

They stretch you out as they both pump in and out now, Lucas’ fingers are longer so they press onto your sensitive button repeatedly.

“Oh my-..” you bite your lips and watch as their fingers, coated in mixed essences, disappear into your body.

Lucas nibbles your ear in response.

Ten’s gaze is fixed on your body, so full of him, so beautiful and spread open...for him.

His eyes are low, but you can’t help but notice that it’s a wild gaze that makes you feel wanted, something you’d never seen from Ten before.

“Do you want to cum again, sweetheart?”

You nod.

Ten is weakened by your glossy, wide eyes and swollen lips. He’d give anything to see you like this again. He smirks and lowers himself to your chest and licks the hard nubs that stick out from your breasts.

“Does that feel good?” Ten bites the skin between your breasts.

“Ahh! Yes, Ten!” You cry out and grip the sheets, your head spinning as you start to see stars. Another high approaches. You start to rock your hips on your own to meet the movement of their fingers.

“Ten..touch me there.” You plead and it’s like music to Ten’s ears.

Ten takes his other hand and rubs your bud, watching as your jaw clenched and your head falls onto Lucas’ shoulder once more. All you needed was a simple movement from his fingers to proceed to lustful bliss.

Both Ten and Lucas moan when they feel you tighten around their fingers.

They withdraw their fingers and switch positions quickly, their cocks now hard again after hearing your beautiful sounds and feeling you.

Ten holds you from behind, your vision becomes blurry but you can hear him chuckle.

“Do you wanna play with her Lucas? She’s so wet and ready for you.” Ten says before putting his fingers into your mouth. You lick everything up while moaning.

Lucas smiles and licks his lips as he watches your mouth open wide for Ten’s fingers.

Lucas places both hands on your knees and presses down, he enters you in one swift movement. Your mouth falls open into a loud cry as you are stretched outagain after not recovering completely from your last climax.

“Lucas! Fuck.”

He can’t help but move fast, gliding in and out of your slippery, tight pussy because he is already close to cumming. He pushes into you so deep, your body moves up on the bed. Ten holds onto your waist so you say still.

You pull Lucas down towards you, leaving scratch marks all over his back as he ruins your insides. You wrap your legs around his waist, latching onto him like a koala.

Ten slides out from under you, kneeling beside you and tilting your head towards him by placing a finger on your jaw.

“He’s hard again because of you, sweetheart.” Lucas whispers into your neck, his long lashes grazing your jawline.

Ten strokes his cock in front of you. Your mouth opens and you let your tongue run along the underside.

“Good girl.” Ten groans and pushes forward into your mouth. You whimper as he hits the back of your throat unexpectedly, but then you immediately hollow your cheeks and groan, sending spastic vibrations onto Ten’s cock.

Ten’s head falls back, he closes his eyes and thinks about how good your plump lips feel around his aching member. His hips move steadily as he groans.

With each rough thrust Lucas gives you, you hum a high pitched tone that makes them both go crazy.

Sweat forms on Lucas’ forehead as he looks up at your cheeks full with Ten. Lucas’ movement stutters and he releases into you once again, collapsing onto your body as he slows down.

Lucas starts to finger you so you can cum also while sucking Ten off. Ten smooths your hair back while smirking, watching as a continuous flow of tears escape your eyes, you’re so sensitive but you just won’t say the safe word because they feel..amazing.

Ten moves a few more times before releasing into your throat. You choke and gag as he pulls out, watching a string of spit and cum drop onto your chin.

Ten pinches your nipples as he recovers from climaxing while Lucas still moves his fingers in and out. Lucas kisses your jaw and down to your neck, his fingers tickling your tender sweet spot. But you just can’t take anymore, your body is weak, your head spins and soon everything turns to black.

Lucas immediately withdraws his fingers when he sees that you’ve blacked out, your body silent and falling completely limp as your arms relax to the side.

Ten also stops playing with your breasts, he only looks onto your naked body and thinks to himself, what a beautiful sight you are. Your body is wet, sweaty and full of their cum. Your hair is messy and lips swollen.

Lucas lays down beside you and loosens your corset completely, tossing it to the side and allowing you to sleep comfortably.

Ten goes to the bathroom and comes back with a wet cloth, he cleans you up then hands another cloth to Lucas.

The three of you then lay together in bed, with you in between them. The boys fell asleep shortly after since they too were tired, but not without sparing each other quick glances first. They were both unsure of what would happen next in their friendship, but they both knew that above all, they wanted you.

In the middle of the night, Lucas wakes up and heads to the bathroom to get a glass of water. He brings it back to the bed and taps you gently.

“y/n..” he whispers as to not wake Ten who lays beside you on the other side of the king sized bed.

Your heavy eyes open slowly and you struggle to make out Lucas’ face in the darkness.

“Here..have some water.” He helps you sit up straight as you look around questioningly. You look around you and see a sleeping Ten then it all comes back to you, you remember what happened a few hours before.

You take the glass from Lucas and drink the water to soothe your throat which is as dry as the desert.

Lucas smiles when he takes the empty glass away. He lays down beside you and takes you into his arms, you wrap your arms around him and close your eyes before falling back asleep.

————

[Three Days Later]

“We should talk about that night..” Lucas looks out into the water as he speaks to you and Ten. The three of you are at your favorite hangout spot, the cherry blossom tree by the water.

It’s been a few days since the amazing orgy the three of you had, and while things hadn’t necessarily been awkward since then, things weren’t exactly back to normal either.

“There isn’t much to say.” Ten is quick to shoot down Lucas’ proposal. He looks at his fingernails and purses his lips.

“I agree with Ten, let’s just...move on. We were all drunk and-we had fun. We’re still best friends, let’s just make sure that it doesn’t happen again.” You look up at Lucas, hoping that he will nod and not question their relationship any more.

Ten scoffs, tilting his head towards you and lifting his lips into a smirk. “Was it that bad? I remember you crying out both our names like your life depended-“

“Ten! Stop! It was amazing, but I-I can’t see myself in a relationship like that or to be quite frank, I can’t see myself with either of you..”

Ten’s face straightens and Lucas turns to you completely, his brows furrowing.

Your eyes move rapidly to and from both curious faces.

“You guys are my best friends, you always will be..a relationship would only ruin what we already have.” You look up to them with pleading eyes.

Lucas swallows hard and turns away. “If that’s what you want, y/n.”

Ten nods, his playful smirk returning. “Okay, understood.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow at 1 then? Lucas will you be joining us for lunch?”

“I can’t, I already have an engagement for that time, but I will see you the next day.” Lucas smiles and says goodbye to both you and Ten.

You watch as the tall, built man leaps onto his horse. His strong arms and veiny hands gripping the straps of the holster before calling out to his steed. And you suddenly started to regret the statements you spoke so strongly just moments ago.

If only you could control your lust for him..for them.

————

Ten leads you into his house for lunch. He’s dressed casually, but still looks incredibly handsome, his dark hair is pushed back and his lips are a pretty blush color.

“How are you today, sweetheart?” Ten leans towards you.

Sweetheart.. it was a name you hadn’t heard him call you since the other night.

You ignore your thought and smile. “I’m doing well..excited to finally eat some food!”

Ten laughs, he adores your excited expressions, the way your eyes grow at the sight of food that you love and the way you dance and grin from ear to ear.

He’s happy his parents and Lucas are away so it’ll just be the two of you.

But when you step into the dining room, you’re shocked to see his dining table is empty.

This was unusual for Ten as he always had food out and ready for his guests once they were over.

Ten can’t see your knitted brows as he stands behind you. “The food won’t be out for another thirty minutes or so..what do you suggest we do?” His voice is low as he steps forward, he presses his chest onto your back before placing his hands onto your waist.

You turn around to him swiftly and gaze into his eyes.

“W-what are you doing?” Your questions comes out weakly as Ten’s intense gaze towards your lips takes your breath away.

He leans down and kisses you, but you pull away.

“Ten-“ Your expression of confusion doesn’t faze him, he only grips your waist tighter.

“I can’t stop thinking about you..”

“We..can’t do this.” You shake your head.

“Yes we can, we’re royals, you and I..we can do whatever we want. Have you stopped thinking about me? You couldn’t possibly forget my hands on your trembling thighs, my tongue reaching the sweetest places to make you scream?”

Your heart begins to race as you feel your underwear become wet at his words, you close your legs tightly and swallow hard. Your mouth falls open, you struggle to find the right words to say for you truly don’t know what you want in this moment.

Ten kisses you abruptly again, this time, exploring your mouth with his eager tongue as he pulls your body closer to his.

You let your eyes close and embrace the kiss. You couldn’t fight the feeling any longer. You had to give in..just this once.

Ten presses forward towards the table before laying you down onto it. Your lips separate from each other’s to breathe. Ten quickly drags your panties down before kneeling down. He leaves your dress on and gives you a mischievous smile.

You bite your lips as you watch him lift the dress and go under it, your knees bending as his hands hold your legs at the crook.

He starts first by kissing your thighs and licking them ever so slowly.

“Ten..” You call out his name as you grip the table cloth.

He then flicks his tongue onto your folds, making you yelp. Ten laps up your essence, his tongue moving slowly up and down and in circles, teasing your entrance while you let out cute mewls. You try to hold back your moans so the servants won’t hear. Your head falls against the cold table as you bite your lips.

His tongue plunged into your core, the tip pressing onto a sensitive spot near your bud teasingly. He takes his time covering all areas before kissing your slit, and letting out a throaty groan. He lets his tongue work wonders on your core, flattening against your flower as his nose brushes against your clit.

“Ahhh..you taste lovely, sweetheart.”He says before strengthening his tongue and pushing in even deeper.

You start to clench around him, your back arches. You want to grab his hair as you grind your hips against his face, but Ten pulls away, leaving you clenching around nothing but air.

He withdraws from under your dress and breathes heavily, licking his lips as he looks onto your hard nipples peeking out from under the thin cloth that covers them.

He pulls the fabric down, allowing one breast to escape. He takes the nipple into his mouth, sucking hard as you arch yourself into him even more. You can feel his hard cock brush against your thigh.

“Ten—“ you breathlessly utter out. “Please.”

Ten only hums as he still sucks onto your breast.

He lets go after a few seconds then kisses your lips while taking his pants down.

You wrap your legs around his waist, your dress riding up to your hips as a result.

He goes back to sucking your breast as he pushes into you carefully. You gasp and your head falls back, the veins of his cock providing the perfect stimulation to your core and he gets deeper.

You press your hands onto his butt, pushing him deeper into you with each thrust.

Your moans grow louder as does his. You both no longer care about who could hear, you only cared for satisfying that itch deep within you that was aching.

Ten looks up at you through low eyes, watching as your body tenses and your breast jumps with each push. He once again thinks to himself of how he adores every part of you. He wants to be enraptured by you all the time.

And seeing you like this in the day time, your sweaty skin sparkling and your hair shiny as the rays of sunlight that escaped the curtains fall onto you. You smell like the flowers that bloomed right outside and you taste like the best freshly baked cake.

His hips snap into yours, a strand of hair falling into his forehead, making him even more beautiful than he was before. You both hear the clinking and shaking of the glassware on the table as he fucks hard into your body on the table, but you ignore it, instead listening to each other’s staggered breaths.

“Ten..Ah! That’s it...right there.”

Your sounds are unlike anything he’s heard before. And after listening to your beautiful mewls, his movement stutters as he releases into you, coating your walls with his slick.

You cum as well, clenching around him after he hits your sweet spot with the perfect amount of force.

The two of you kiss through it all, sharing a moment of complete and ignorant bliss. You’re not worried about the past nor the future or even Lucas. You only care for the now.

Ten finally pulls away and falls onto the chair behind him. Your legs relax as you fix your dress and sit up straight.

Ten licks his lips and smirks. “Bring the food in!” He yells to his servants whom he knows are just in the room next door.

“Wait-you knew they were there?” Your eyes widened, but Ten only chuckles as he fixes his pants then helps you off the table.

“We’re royals, love. We can do whatever we want.”

Your lunch continues normally, you try not to think too much about what happened, but it is noticeably quiet at the table.

There’s a heavy energy around the two of you. One that’s filled with questions.

“I could get used to this..” Ten takes a sip of his drink but looks at you over the glass.

“What?” You ask.

“You and I..just the two of us..like this.”

You laugh and take a bite of your food. “You’re funny..you and I both know we need Lucas. Have you forgotten how much we fight when he’s not around? How close we’ve been to tearing each other apart?”

Ten laughed. “You do have a point.”

There’s a moment of silence before Ten asks his next question.

“But it’s not entirely impossible, right?”

You both knew where Ten was going with this. Within a year or two, Ten would have to pick a woman to be married to. It was customary for this to occur soon after graduation as both parties must begin to fulfill their duties together for a better society. In a few months, there would be a pairing ceremony for young graduates to meet others that could become a potential lifelong partner.

Ten was the highest ranking bachelor in your country. And fortunately, he was gorgeous, unlike anyone that walked the land. Any and every woman would kill to be at his side, but he just wanted you, the one woman that didn’t seem so eager to be by his side and attain his riches.

“I don’t know Ten, I think I like what we have already..” you sigh, you knew you needed way more time to think about marriage. “The three of us are perfect as friends. I..don’t want to lose either of you.”

You spoke honestly, but Ten wasn’t satisfied. You always found a way to bring up Lucas and he didn’t like that. He loved Lucas deeply too, but he was willing to give him up if it meant gaining you to himself.

“Ten?”

He didn’t realize that he had held his utensil so tightly, his knuckles paled.

You reached out and placed your hand over his.

“Oh.” He finally relaxed and smiled. “I’m sorry—I was lost in thought for a moment. Yes..whatever you wish.” He nodded and finished his food.

————

Ten’s parents returned the next day, so you didn’t expect to see him as often.

Lucas, however, paid you a visit that day.

“Shall we go to the market?” Lucas’ smile beamed when you opened the door.

You grinned and headed out with him. He helped you into his carriage before signaling for the driver to take off.

The two of you walked about the market, purchasing fruits and vegetables that you loved while talking and laughing. Many people were there, some played music on stringed instruments while some painted in the street and others observed.The smell of sizzling street food filled the air.

The two of you shared memories of school. “Remember when Ten lied to the teacher and said that you stole his notebook?”

“Yes! I slapped him so hard once we got to the tree, I’m surprised he didn’t scar.” You laughed.

Lucas bent over, clutching his stomach as he laughed. “His face was priceless, he didn’t see it coming. You would’ve kicked him too if I didn’t pull you away.”

“He was and still is such a mischievous boy.” You giggled and let Lucas take your hand as you headed back to the carriage.

You gazed into the side of Lucas’ face as you endured the bumpy ride from the market. A part of you felt like telling him about you and Ten, but a part of you also knew that you would hurt Lucas. And what good would it do to tell him the truth? It would ease your conscience but it could also ruin your friendship as you were the one to tell them that you would only continue as friends.

You went back on your own statement and now you were disappointed with yourself. You had a growing fondness for both men, but especially Lucas, and this would only end up hurting you all.

Lucas was warm and bright, his smile lit up every room he went into and he was always there to make sure that you were comfortable and happy. You fell in love with him from the first time you saw him. You felt love towards Ten too, but it wasn’t as strong as what you felt for Lucas for some reason.

“Are you trying to find something?” Lucas turned to you with raised eyebrows.

You didn’t notice that you had been staring for too long.

You laughed and looked forward. “I’m sorry I was just..”

“Just what?” Lucas pressed and looked onto your lips.He too couldn’t stop thinking about that night and how good you felt. How satisfied he was once he was finally making love to you after all these years.

“To be honest, Lucas, I was thinking about us..”

“Me, you, and Ten? We’re the greatest of friends to ever grace this land.” Lucas teased, he knew what you meant.

“No..no” you laughed and shook your head. “Me and you.”

“What about ‘me and you?’” He knows what you’re thinking but he wants to hear you say it.

“I-I’m not sure if I want us to..only be friends.” You instantly regretted telling Lucas how you felt. Sure, you felt this way, but what if he didn’t?

“Lucas..wait, I’m sorry, forget I said anyth-“

Lucas leaned forward and took your head in his hands, he placed his lips onto yours for a kiss.

You kissed him back and scooted closer to him. The kiss felt like it moved in slow motion, with each touch of your lips you felt a spark of electricity through your body. You felt your legs become weak as your tongues embraced one another playfully.

It was until a few moments later that you pulled away to breathe.

“We’re here.” You stared at Lucas’ lips as you bit your own.

Lucas quickly gets out of the carriage and opens your door to help you out.

The two of you walk to your door in an awkward silence.

Lucas brushes a hand through his hair and smiles. “I can’t forget..I can’t forget anything you say or do.”

He chuckles as he turns to leave. “What have you done to me? Are you some kind of sorceress?”

You smile. “Please..don’t leave.” You step forward.

Lucas’ lips crash onto yours once more. You stumble into your house and up the stairs. The climb is endless as your staircase is incredibly large.

“My parents... aren’t home.” You say between kisses, you can feel yourself leak in your underwear as Lucas’ large hands hold your waist. You begin to tear off your dress while Lucas shakes off his jacket.

“Perfect.” He holds your hand and stops you from going up any more stairs.

He turns you around and kneels down, taking you with him.

Your back is against his heaving chest, your head is turned towards his as you continue to kiss passionately.

Lucas drags down your dress then pulls his pants down, allowing his cock to spring free.

Your knees meet with the cold stairs during which Lucas pushes your panties to the side. He holds himself up with one hand while the other goes between your legs.

You watch his arms flex and feel like cumming just from the sight.He presses two fingers into your slit, sweeping your juices across the opening while listening to you moan loudly.

Just feeling his touch is enough to make you dizzy. His large body covers yours completely like a singular dark cloud over a small town, except he is light, he is warmth. He makes you feel safe and desired. All you want is to be filled by him, to be loved by him.

His long fingers stretch you out as you lay onto the rigid stairs. Lucas kisses your neck with his plump lips, your body flinching each time his knuckles brush against your clit.

“How do you feel? Are you ready?” He whispers softly before nibbling on your ear.

“Yes, Lucas.”

Lucas takes his fingers away and strokes his member, he taps the tip against your slit before parting your fold slowly and pushing in.

You grip the edge of the stair above you tightly and close your eyes, focusing on adjusting to his length.

He finally fills you completely and begins to move in and out while watching your mouth fall open.

Lucas feels amazing inside you, your velvety walls swallow him up like he’s the perfect fit made just for you.

He places his hand onto the lower part of your stomach, feeling his tip as he pushes into you.

“Fuck.” He curses when you clench.

He moves faster. You start to make that high pitched moan again. Lucas takes your leg and throws it over his shoulder, your body turns to the side so you can now see his face.

He holds onto your ankle tighter. Sweat gracing his forehead as his hair falls into his face.His groans combined with sounds of skin against skin fills the air.

Lucas watches his dick go deeper and deeper into your quivering hole. He takes his fingers and rubs circles into your bud.

“Lucas!” Your back begins to hurt as the edge of the stair digs into it but you can only focus on Lucas pounding into you and dominating your entire body.

“Cum for me.” He demands.

You cum onto him, your pussy pulsating around him as he thrusts into your body a few more times.

He pulls out before releasing strings of cum onto your stomach and thigh.

He pants and lets go of your leg. You lay back onto the stairs to collect yourself. Just then, Lucas takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours. He leans down and kisses you.

“I think I love you,” Lucas lets out.

You give a small smile. “I love you too, Lucas..but, this feels..wrong.”

“What do you mean?” His brows furrow and he lifts himself from you.

He doesn’t know that you’ve already done this with Ten, he’s not the only one. You can’t commit to him if you’ve already been unfaithful..or could you?

“We can’t..do this..I love you and I love Ten. I-“You shake your head, you’re so confused, you don’t know what to say.

“I understand.” Lucas stands up and fixes his pants.

“Lucas..wait.” You reach out for his hand but he hands you your dress instead.

“I’ll see you soon.” He states before heading out, never turning to see your teary face.

And so you thought that was the end of it, but it was far from over.

You and Lucas would go on to engage in sex for the coming months, sneaking off into hallways or into empty rooms and even the bath. You couldn’t get enough of each other. But you never told Ten, you knew he would be furious.

No one knows about you and Lucas, not your parents, and certainly not Ten. Ten had been distancing himself for some time, and neither you nor Lucas were sure why. He would rarely make time for you since that time you two had “lunch.” Did he know about you and Lucas? Did he take your answer as a no?

As far as you knew, you were secretly dating Lucas but Ten thought the three of you were still in a simple friendship. It felt wrong, but it felt right.

———

[AUGUST 1984]

You’re woken up by a hard pounding on your bedroom door.

“Yes?” You yell out.

“y/n..it’s Ten..he’s here with bad news.” Your mother states softly.

You quickly threw on a dress and headed down the stairs with your mother.

You see Ten at the door, his eyes are red, like he’s been crying for a long time.

You felt your body begin to shake. Did he find out? Did Lucas break down and tell him? You couldn’t bear to see him like this, especially if you were the reason behind his sadness.

“Ten? What’s wrong?”

“It’s my father..he’s...passed away.”

“Oh Ten..” you immediately open your arms up and hug him. “I’m so sorry.”

He holds you close for a while as you both cry.

————

[OCTOBER 1894]

You never left Ten’s side, you cried with him, made sure he ate, and even slept with him. It would start off with a kiss then lead to something else. You enjoyed the sex but you also just wanted him to feel better.

Lucas would stop by Ten’s place every now and then, but would leave after only an hour or so. You didn’t expect him to be like this especially since he was also Ten’s best friend.

The truth was that after the first two weeks, Lucas didn’t see why you had to be by Ten all the time, every hour of the day. But worst of all, he speculated that you had been sleeping with Ten as well. He had no proof but one night he stayed nearby, waiting to see if you would leave Ten to go to your home.

But you never left.

The next day, he pulled you outside to talk to you. You rubbed your neck and looked to the ground. “What’s wrong, Lucas?”

“y/n..it’s been two months, isn’t this a bit much?” He was angry, his jaw clenched and eyes narrow as they bore into yours.

“Lucas..he lost his father. You know how much he meant to him, how can you even say that?”

Lucas looked away and grit his teeth.

“Who are we to say how long one’s grieving period is?” You scoffed and looked to the side, exposing the hickeys on your neck in the process. “He was staying away from us because he knew that his father was dying, Lucas. He spent his time watching his strong father wither away to nothing, it was and still is difficult for him.”

Lucas looked back at you and spotted the marks, confirming his suspicions.

“y/n..is that bastard forcing you to have sex with him?” Lucas brows furrowed, his fists closed tightly.

“W-what?” You make a look of disgust that made Lucas realize how ridiculous his statement may have sounded.

“The love bites on your neck..did a ghost do that?”

“Lucas..don’t..” you scoff and shake your head.

Lucas looks away, licking his lips while he tries to stay calm.“You think fucking him will make him happier? You think that’ll stop him from thinking of his dead father?!”

“Lucas!” You slap him.

“He’s using you! He just wants to be close with you!” Lucas yells now, you were afraid that Ten would’ve heard him upstairs.

“What’s the matter?” A calm voice startles you from behind. You turned around, it was Ten’s mother.

She looks at you then to Lucas, her facing turning dark and grim. She looks repulsed by the sight of Lucas. She probably heard what he said about her son.

“Nothing..Lucas was just leaving.” You turn to him and shake your head.

He huffs, but turns away swiftly.

“That fool.” The queen scoffed when she realized that he didn’t bow nor bother to acknowledge her presence, a grave mistake on his part.

But you walked up to Ten’s room, holding back tears. How could Lucas be this way? He was trying to tell you that Ten was using you, but that couldn’t be true. You were his friend, you were doing what you could to ease the pain of his loss.

Lucas’ words ran through your mind even as you rode Ten that night. The swivel of your hips, the bouncing of your naked breasts, the glow of your body in the dim light of his room, it all made him weak for you. He bit his lips to hold back a loud groan. But as he got closer, he couldn’t help but notice that you were distracted.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Ten asked, his hands running up and down your thighs as he brows furrow.

“Nothing..it's nothing..I’m just a bit tired.” You place your hands onto his chest and focus on the building pleasure in your core.

Ten raises his eyebrows and shifts on the bed, stopping you by taking your wrists into his hand

“I’ll take over then.” He flips you over quickly, immediately pushing deeper into you.

A breath leaves your chest as your mouth falls open. Ten moves faster while rubbing your clit. “How do you feel now? Any better?”

“Oh, God..yes, Ten.” Your eyes shut tightly.

Based on your moans and clenched jaw, he knows he has successfully gained your complete attention and he couldn’t be more satisfied. Feeling you fall into him night by night was all that mattered. He wanted to be close to you, feel you..to love and be loved by you.

“Thank you..for everything.” Ten whispered softly into your ear, sliding his cock out of you and laying down beside you as you came down from your climax. The two of you cuddled and fell asleep shortly after.

He didn’t say anything about the conversation you and Lucas had downstairs so you assumed he hadn’t heard.

But the truth was..he watched and listened to everything. He heard what Lucas accused him of doing, and now he saw his true colors.

———

[Two Weeks Later]

Letters detailing a new order from the widowed queen have been issued to all sub royals in the land. The king and the queen, Ten’s parents, are the highest royals and their orders can never be overturned or challenged. Anything they say, must go because of their family name.

Their letters usually listed new laws that dealt with taxes and such, but every now and then, they detailed a new marriage to be set for a bachelor and bachelorette so that they may merge their houses and operate as one.

“y/n..we’ve received a letter from the Queen, have you heard about this?” Your mother entered your room as you got ready to go to Ten’s house.

“No..what does it say?” You took the letter from her as she gulped.

Your brows knitted at her expression. You looked at the piece of paper and read it out loud.

“‘Dear citizens, it is imperative that a marriage be conducted within the arrival of the next month. The graduation of our finest gentlemen and ladies has allowed them to move forward to becoming profound and hardworking adult citizens of this land. However, we must combine two powerful houses for maximum impact and success. Prince Lucas of the Wong family and Princess Rosé of the Park family will be the first couple to be wed. Once the wedding ceremony is complete, the newlyweds will live in the Park family estate to fulfill their duties for their own precious citizens. Congratulations, and I look forward to a grand celebration for the unification of these two houses.’”

The paper falls to the floor as your hand grows weak. “No..no no..this can’t..this can’t happen.” Your eyes start to water. Lucas, the one you loved so dearly, was now set to be married to another. How could Ten’s mother make such an abrupt order without a consultation with Lucas first?

“Honey..I know you liked him, but it was bound to happen..” Your mother places her hands on your shoulders.

“No..no this isn’t right. The pairing ceremony was postponed indefinitely..We-were supposed to meet eligible mates in a few months..How-Why would she do this?”

“It’s not our duty to question the Queen, y/n. I’m sorry, but there is nothing we can do.”

“No, there has to be something. I have to- I have to talk to Ten.” You jump up and run to your chariot without fixing your hair.

On the way there, you couldn’t calm your thoughts. You wanted to be with Lucas, you loved him. And now he would have to marry someone else and live far away.

Tears ran down your cheeks as you sobbed uncontrollably. The only way that you would be able to see Lucas is to take a train to him.

Flashes of his bright smile stained your thoughts, you only saw him as you panted.

You finally reached Ten’s place. You banged on the door and waited for the doorman to open it. Once inside, you immediately ran up to Ten’s room. But he wasn’t there.

“Ten!” You called out.

You spun around, and was shocked to find him standing there with a small smile on his face.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

“Ten! Your mother..the-the Queen, She’s sending Lucas away, she can’t do that, please don’t let her do that to us.” You choked out as more tears escaped.

Ten wasn’t sure what you meant by ‘us.’ Did you mean the three of you? Or you and Lucas.

Ten nodded and hugged you tightly. “Shhh it’s gonna be okay..I tried already y/n..I tried, but she won’t listen to me. She knows that he’s my best friend and what sending him so far away would do to me..but I couldn’t stop her.”

“Oh God, Ten.. I’m so sad.”

“I know..I am too.” Ten states. A devilish smile covering his face as you cry onto his shoulder.

———

[NOVEMBER 1894]

It’s the day after Lucas and Rosé’s wedding that you and Lucas escape to the tree for one last moment together.

You make love one final time. His back resting against the tree trunk as you kneel over his lap, your body shaking as it approaches its climax. The sun is beaming, the breeze is light and the shade under the blooming tree allows for a perfect balance of heat and coldness.

Lucas grips your thighs as you ride him, pushing up the fabric of your dress slowly. He kisses your neck while you cry.

The two of you spoke about the morning shortly before. You apologized for slapping him and he apologized for being self-centered.

“I love you..” he whispers onto your chest before pulling down the top of it for your breast to fall out.

He lets his tongue out, circling around the firm nipple. “I love you..too,” you let out through ragged breaths.

“Oh..Lucas!” You cry out and release onto him, he bucks his hips upward and into you as you tighten.

He then lifts you off of him and cums onto your thigh.

You sit beside him and rest your head onto his shoulder as you look out at the lake, taking in your final intimate moments with him.

“Please..don’t forget that I love you. I’m not far away.. and Ten..he’ll take care of you for me.”

Lucas runs his fingers along your arm while holding you close. He doubted Ten’s intentions, he had a feeling that it was he who told his mother to conjure up such an abrupt order, but he had no proof. And could his best friend really do that to him?

He could only hope that you would be safe and happy without him there.

It wasn’t customary or even “okay” for a woman to visit a man that had recently been married, but Lucas wanted to be with you..he had to be with you, and he was determined to find a way.

You send Lucas off and take different carriages. You cried but you’re also hopeful that you will see him again.

Later that evening, you have dinner with Ten. Your mind is empty, you don’t speak at all and Ten knows that it’s because you’re thinking of Lucas.

“y/n...you’ll see him again, I promise.. We will visit them as soon as they get settled.” He reaches out and places a hand on yours.

“I..just need time.” You say before taking a sip of your champagne.

“You’ve made me the happiest man, y/n..” Ten gives your hand a light squeeze. “And..the Queen must overturn her power to me, the upcoming King, for she is not fit to rule. But she can’t do that until I am married.”

“There are many Princesses competing for your hand, Ten. I see them practically tear each other’s heads apart once you’re mentioned.”

“I know, but there’s only one that I want.” Ten smiles and it makes your heart race. All you could think about was Lucas but you couldn’t deny the fact that a part of you loved Ten too, you didn’t want to hurt him.

“Ten..” You looked away.

“Marry me..I promise to make you as happy as you’ve made me for the rest of your life.”

“I-now’s not the time.” You pulled your hand away.

“Why not? I want you and you want me, right? Just say yes and all this could be yours, you can see Lucas whenever you want because you’d be the Queen.”

“Ten..I know..I know that, but I’m not sure-“

“What do you mean you’re not sure?” Ten stood up from his chair. “Who else is gonna love you like I do? Who else is gonna give you everything you ask for and more?”

“Ten..it’s not that..” you say back in your chair and stare at the table, your already meek appetite fleeting even further.

“You’re not sure? That’s not what you said when I was fucking your brains out just last week!”

“Ten!” You jumped up from your chair. “If you think I’ll marry you when you talk about me like that in front of your servants, you’re crazy! The answer is no!”

You left his house hurriedly, heading to your carriage and signaling for the driver’s attention.

Ten ran after you. “y/n..I’m sorry, I was upset. Please just..listen to me.”

You shut the door before wiping the tears from your eyes.

———

[DECEMBER 1984]

You hadn’t been back to Ten’s house since that night. You spent your time alone, caring for yourself and reading books about the land. You had to be prepared to be a good princess and leader. You had to know the laws.

Your mother would also help you when she had time.

“Did any mail come for me?” You ask every day at the same time, hoping for a letter from Lucas.

Your mother sighs. “No, dear”

She sits on the edge of the bed. “You know..if you want to talk to him..you should just visit. I hear the Park Family will be taking a tour of the villages tomorrow. Lucas won’t be present though as he must train more.”

“H-how did you know?”

“I know love when I see it, dear. From the way the two of you looked at each other during the wedding ceremony..I knew.”

You sighed. “Ten proposed to me..but I said..”

“No. I know you did, because deep down, you feel that your heart belongs to someone else. But my dear, the most difficult part of being a princess or queen, is emptying your heart of all love that it has just to make someone else happy, even if that someone else is not the one that owns your heart.”

You sighed. Your mother’s words were filled with the truth, and even though it hurt, you needed to hear it.

“Ten loves you, that much I know. Lucas loves you too, but that door has closed. And now, another one is open..you shouldn’t waste your precious time banging on the closed door.”

You nodded.

“With that being said..there’s a train that leaves the day after tomorrow. You should see Lucas one more time and say goodbye, for your sanity, you must cut all ties with him and let him go.”

————

[Two Days Later]

You gave the door a light knock and waited for an answer.

“Ahhh. Princess y/n..fancy seeing you here!” The doorman’s eyes widened. “It was quite a ride, wasn’t it?”

You smiled. “Hello. Yes, I’m very tired. But I’m thankful to be safe. Is Lucas here?”

He nodded. “Yes. I believe he is reading by that tree over there.”

You walked slowly towards Lucas, his long legs lay on the grass below the tremendous tree.

“Do you hang out by trees because you’re tall like one?” You asked as you got closer.

Lucas laughed out and put his book down, he turned towards you and smiled so brightly you thought he would outshine the sun itself.

“y/n!” He jumped up and ran towards you, his large arms pulling you into his bear hug.

“I’m so happy to see you.. how have you been?” Lucas searches your eyes.

“I’ve been..okay.” You weren’t doing great without him.

“Me too..” Lucas leans down to your face. He wants to kiss you deeply, without end. But he knows the workers around have wandering eyes, he knows they will tell not only Rosé, but her parents as well.

“What’s going on Lucas, why are you here and not closer to your own hometown?”

“Come..sit, we need to talk.” Lucas sits back down and pats the space on the ground beside him.

His expression turns serious as he turns to you.

“I..am stuck in this marriage, y/n. I know you want us to be together, but we can’t. If I leave Rosé, I will be forced to live as a beggar.” Lucas swallows hard.

Your brows are knitted but you then laugh out. “You can’t be serious.. you’re royalty! Leaving her would never turn you into a beggar!”

Lucas shakes his head. “That’s not it, y/n.”

You look to the ground, puzzled as to what he meant.

“I was told that my father, King Wong, was killed in battle when I was 8 years old. The King, Ten’s father, retrieved me and decided to raise me in his kingdom as a gift to my deceased father. The king thought it would be best for me to join him and receive a great education and train to become a royal commanding officer for his kingdom. My mother, however, had to stay while I was taken care of by a caretaker.”

“Your mother is still alive?” You looked up at him and gasped, shocked that he had lied to you.

“Yes.. I’m sorry I lied to you for all this time, but I had to, that is what the King told me to do to ensure my mother's safety. He told me to tell everyone that both of my parents died and that the Wong estate is thousands of miles away when in reality, it doesn’t even exist. He said that if I told everyone this he would take care of me and my mother, so I did.”

“Why—why would he do that?” You shook your head.

“Well, y/n..my mother wrote me a letter once I got here. She received news of my marriage and was disappointed that she could not attend the ceremony, but she sent me this letter through a private courier so that I could now know the truth.”

Lucas flipped through the book and opened the page to the spot where he hid the letter. He handed it to you.

“My mother is a commoner that was loved by the king himself. The king would travel to fulfill his duties while the queen stayed home and raised Ten. And during his travels, he met my mother and fell in love. She became pregnant with me. My real father..is the king.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at the note you held.

“You and Ten are—half brothers?”

“Shhh..no one can know, okay?”

You nodded quickly.

“The king sent my mother money every month with a courier to ensure that we would be well off and keep our mouths shut. We couldn’t tell anyone and even if we did, no one would believe us anyway so my mother agreed. When the king retrieved me, he already knew that he had an incurable illness, that’s why he felt it best for me to live with him. He knew that I could take care of my mother if I received royal status before he passed away. My mother married someone else and has another son, YangYang, that she takes care of. But y/n...”

“Y-yes..” you lean forward on both knees.

“The queen sent me away because she feared that my mother would come forward with the truth, thus keeping Ten from becoming King. And now that the King has died, the Queen has also stopped the courier and my mother no longer receives monthly allowances, she’s poor y/n. I cannot help her or my brother, for Rosé will notice and question everything.”

“I will help you, I will do everything I can Lucas.”

“No-no this isn’t your problem. I have to find a way to appease the Queen.”

“Lucas, you know how stubborn she is. She won’t help you.” It all made sense now, why the Queen despised Lucas. She knows that he’s a product of her husband's infidelity.

“I’ll get you the money..you just have to give me time, okay?” You weren’t sure how you were going to do that, but you had an idea. You love Lucas and as bizarre as this all sounded, you trust him and know that you have to help.

—————

[Two Days Later]

You knock on Ten’s door, anxiously awaiting for his doorman to open the door.

But it’s Ten that answers. He looks tired, his eyes are red, but he still looks handsome in his suit and pushed back hair

“Ten..we need to talk.” You step forward.

“y/n..sweetheart..it’s about time.” He smiles from ear to ear, his breath reeking of alcohol.

You push your way inside and shut the door.

“It’s urgent, I need your help.”

“You need MY help?” Ten plops down in his study as you sit beside him on the loveseat.

“I went to see Lucas and-“

“Ahh..yes I know..I know you went to see him, but I’ll keep it a secret. You just couldn’t wait for Rosé to leave so you could fuck him. What happened to ‘let’s remain friends’?”

“Ten, you’re an asshole. He’s my best friend too. How dare you talk to me like I’m some slut or something!”

“I went to him because he sent for me, he asked for my help.” You lied, but you just wanted Ten to listen to you, because you really needed him. You had thought about using your own family money but you knew that your mother would find out the truth and tell the kingdom.

So Ten was your only option.

“Here..drink some water.” You poured him a glass of water from the sink in the corner of the room.

He gulped it down and watched your figure as you sat on the seat across from him now. He wished you would sit beside him again, he wished he could touch you.

“Lucas is your half brother, Ten.”

Ten gulps down the water, his eyes widen and his grip on the glass weakens.

“You’re messing with me, is this your revenge?” He places the glass on a coffee table.

“No..I’m not.”

You go on to tell him everything Lucas tells you, explaining how his very own father impregnated a commoner when he was two and a half years old.

Ten was devastated by the news, becoming shocked and disgusted that he experienced such sexual intimacy with someone he was related to by blood.

“Now, his family needs monetary help.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Ten looks at his nails.

“Ten! How could you ask that? Lucas is your best friend too, you wouldn’t want his family to suffer just because your father lied and cheated and your mother is self-centered and jealous?”

Ten’s eyes flickered up to you, giving you a dark expression that made you swallow hard. “Be careful, darling”

“I’m sorry...I’m just worried.” You looked to the side and rocked forward and backward as a million thoughts ran through your mind.

“Well, it seems there is something that you want that I have, and there is something that I want that you have..what should we do?” Ten smirks.

You shake your head as you realize what he is implying. “I...”

“I’ll take care of his mother and brother, y/n..but only if you promise to marry me next month. What do you say?”

“Ten—“ You start but your mother's words danced in your head.

“Yes or no, sweetheart. Don’t waste my time.” He stands up and walks towards you. He takes your face in his hands and tilts it upward so you have to look up at him. “It would be so sad if Lucas loses yet another parent this year..”

You bit your lips.

Ten traces the side of your face with his thumb, sending chills down your spine.

“So..y/n?”

You look up at him through your lashes and nod. “I’ll do it, I’ll marry you.”

————

[JANUARY 1895]

The news of your marriage to King Ten spread like wildfire across the Kingdom of Hearts. Many townspeople were not surprised at this development for your family was one of the closest allies to the Lee family. Also, Ten never made it a secret how much he was drawn to you. It was only a matter of when and where you would get married. Your parents were thrilled at the match as your family’s status would be elevated even more in the kingdom. You were happy in the sense that your family would be provided for but you were even more thankful for Ten’s promise to provide for Lucas’ family.

The Queen, Ten’s mother, was less than thrilled at the match. It seems as though she was aware that you also had feelings for Lucas. She never discussed it with you but what else could explain her animosity towards you when you were Ten’s best friend for all of these years? Queen Lee swallowed her pride and, for the sake of her son, begrudgingly blessed the marriage.

You had an entire team of ladies’ maids at your beck and call preparing you for the ceremony. Your A-line white gown was made of the finest fabrics the continent had to offer. The train of the dress was laced with some diamonds and pearls. Your fitted bodice was also laced with jewels so that the shape of a butterfly ran down to your waist. The Lee family spared no expense to make this the wedding of the millennium. It was definitely one for the books. Your dress was just the tip of the iceberg.

Your mother was on the verge of tears as she helped you fit your cathedral-length veil. The veil ran all the way down to the train of your dress. You gulped, worried that you would trip and humiliate yourself in front of the entire palace.

“My dear daughter, I am so happy for you,” she said as she kissed your cheek and fixed a couple of loose strands of hair from your face.

Part of you was a bit resentful to hear these words from your mother. No one had ever bothered to ask if this was what you truly wanted. What made you change your mind so quickly when you were adamant of your refusal to marry Ten when he first asked. Why would they? It would be ludicrous for you not to marry the most powerful man on the planet. He was gorgeous and ethereal. He was your best friend. He was destined to be in your life forever. You wouldn’t be surprised if your bond remained in the after life, if it existed.

But you and Ten knew the truth. You came to an agreement: you wanted to protect Lucas and Ten wanted you.

Your ladies’ maids led you to the entrance of the cathedral where Ten and the most elite of the kingdom awaited your entrance. You stood in front of the grand double-doors. You were to walk alone down the imposing aisle to meet your fate.

The doors opened and all eyes were on you. A few people gasped. You were a sight to behold and everyone knew it.

And for a moment, you let yourself imagine that Lucas was waiting for you at the end of the aisle. Looking the most lethal he ever has in a tuxedo with his hair slicked back. His smile beaming bright and his eyes crinkling like they always did when he was with you.

Your heart ached, thinking of what could’ve been. It was a good thing Lucas and Princess Rosé couldn’t attend the wedding or else you weren’t sure you could make yourself walk down that aisle.

You looked down the aisle towards Ten whose smile was bigger than you’d ever seen it. He was radiant in this three-piece suit, looking so impeccable and dashing. He had never been so happy than he was at this moment. His biggest dream was finally coming true. You would be all his. His eyes never left you.

You moved gracefully as the string quartet played you in. You kept your eyes straight and concentrated on maintaining your posture. You felt the whispers and gasps as you passed. You could even feel the daggers your future mother-in-law’s eyes shot at you. You pushed it all out of your mind. You couldn’t afford to fall.

You didn’t want to humiliate yourself. And your family wouldn’t be able to stomach it either. The last person you wanted to give that satisfaction to was Queen Lee. You hoped the marriage and your new title would force her to grant you some respect.

Once you reached the end of the aisle, Ten whispered in your ear. “You are the most stunning creature, my darling.”

You looked Ten dead in the eye, truly looking at him for the first time today. Your heart ached for how you were feeling. You loved Ten. It wasn’t like it would be a loveless marriage. He was your best friend. He was elegant and gorgeous. He would always be there for you. So even if Lucas lingered in your thoughts, you had to let him go and open your heart to Ten.

“Th-Thank you, Your Majesty. You look incredible,” you replied.

He chuckled at hearing you address him so formally. He always insisted you just call him Ten even after his coronation. You broke a deal when you told him you would address him informally behind closed doors. He accepted because he wanted to spend a lot of time with you behind closed doors.

“All eyes are on you, my sweet,” he moved closer to your ear. “You smell intoxicating. This ceremony better move quickly because my patience is wearing thin. And you know what happens when my patience runs thin.”

The minister opened his scripture and began. “Dearly beloved of the Kingdom of Hearts, we are gathered here today to join this king and this princess in holy matrimony.”

He continued. “Now we will begin the exchange of vows. Your Majesty, you may go first.”

Ten sighed dreamily as he looked at you. “Princess y/n, I’ve loved you for such a long time. When we first met, I thought you were spying on me outside of the schoolyard. I had no idea we would reach this moment years later.”

The crowd cooed and laughed at his tale. Your heart almost stopped at his lack of mentioning Lucas for he was a crucial part of the story. Did he have to write Lucas out of the narrative like that? You couldn’t let your frustration show on your face. This was a happy occasion, you reminded yourself for the umpteenth time.

“Sweetheart, you have been my confidante and my best friend in the world. You have given me so much joy and motivation to be the best man I can be and now the best leader I can be to this country. I’m honored to have you as my queen. I adore you. I will love you for all of my days and be loyal to you. Only. You.”

The minister said, “Thank you, Your Majesty. Your Highness, you may begin.”

You nodded, knowing you could not falter with your speech. You were thankful to Ten for his kind words. He truly loved you. You began. “Your Majesty, you have always felt like home to me. You and Lucas…”

You didn’t realize your slip of the tongue and to refer to Lucas so casually...That wasn’t good. Ten’s dazzling smile faltered for a moment but he didn’t let it slip completely.

You took a quick pause and continued. “You and our dearest friends have made my life so much more wonderful. I have never felt alone because of you. You have been my partner in crime and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else but you. I love you so much, darling. I will be devoted to you until my last breath.”

A tear escaped your eye. You were a mix of emotions. Joy at marrying your best friend and sadness over the absence of Lucas.

Ten reached over and wiped your tear away. “My darling y/n…”

“Thank you, Princess y/n,” the minister continued. “Your Majesty, do you take Princess y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Ten smiled fondly at you. “I do.”

“And do you, Your Highness, take King Ten to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

You forced yourself to give the brightest smile you could muster. “I do.”

“I now pronounce you King and Queen of Hearts. You may kiss the bride.”

The crowd rejoiced as Ten moved closer to you, held your face with both of his hands, and pulled you in for a tender kiss. As you leaned back, your veil almost fell over. You returned his kiss, recalling all of the euphoric moments you and Ten have spent together. You pushed Lucas to the back of your mind for both his and your sake. So Ten wouldn’t grow suspicious. You didn’t want to spoil this day. This moment. Ten was doing you a huge favor. And you needed to play your role to perfection: as a loving and devoted Queen to her King.

————

On the eve of your honeymoon, You and Ten arrive at his vacation home at the beach where you will spend a week with him. You were in a simpler yellow sundress that went down to your knees. The sight of your legs nearly sent Ten in a frenzy. He was in casual clothes as well, his shirt unbuttoned three buttons down. A flame ignited inside of you at the sight of him so relaxed.

Oh, dearest Ten, you loved him so much, you reminded yourself. And he loved you with a depth you could never fathom.

Ten sent the servants away for the evening so that you two could be alone at the estate. He carried you up the staircase and you giggled.

“You finally relaxed,” Ten said, his voice light and free.

“You better not drop me.” You laughed. “Or did you not train enough with the royal commanding army?”

Ten faked shock. “How dare you defy your king, Your Majesty?”

You could not believe your ears at what he just called you. It was a reminder of the choice you’ve made. That you could never go back on. You pushed that thought away. “I think your queen can take some liberties, can’t she?”

Ten reached the top of the staircase and ran into your chambers. It had the finest fabrics and pieces of furniture that were merely there for decoration. The ceilings ran high. The open windows brought in the ocean breeze and the crashing of the waves. You ran out to the balcony and looked out to the beach. The moon hung low in the sky, a bright yellow that matched your dress. You haven’t been to the beach in years because of school, etiquette classes, balls, and more. The last time you escaped to the beach was when you, Ten, and Lucas ran away from home and had your own little celebration after classes ended the year you three met.

Ten wrapped his arms around you from behind. “I get to spend the rest of my life with the most enchanting woman in the world.”

Your face heats up at his words. He was being incredibly gentle and caring.

“How will I restrain myself now?” He says quietly into your ear, making your legs weak.

Or so you thought.

“Ten-”

His fingers crept down to your heat as he kissed your neck. “I hope you’re ready, y/n, because I don’t intend to let you go.”

He spun you around and kissed you, causing your back to bend and lean against the balcony. If you and Ten weren’t careful, you both could fall over. You returned his kiss and pushed him back into the bedroom.

“What?” He laughed. “You thought I would let you fall? How little faith you have in me, wife.”

You embraced him and abruptly rubbed your hand against his bulge. He hissed as he pulled his pants down. His cock sprung up. You bent down to the floor.

Ten stopped you. “Get up, darling. You will kneel on the bed. A queen does not kneel on the floor. Especially not mine.”

He helped you up from the plush carpet and brought you onto the bed. He stood up on the bed, waiting for you to please him.

You decided to be playful. “You’re so considerate, dear. I should prepare you a plate of your favorite cake. I’ll be right back.” You made a show of walking out of the room.

“Hey!” Ten started.

You giggled. Standing right outside the door of the bedchamber, you counted to ten.

“y/n, get back here this instant!” Ten whined, sounding needier and needier each second that passed.

Once you reached the number ten, you ran back in and jumped on the bed, pouncing on Ten and crashing into the soft pillows. You held Ten’s face. “I’m sorry...Was that mean?”

He pouted like a petulant schoolboy. “You will pay.” Swiftly, he pulled your skirt up and reached inside of your undergarments. His fingers tip tapped against your entrance.

“You’re soaked, sweetheart,” he said as you stood still. Ten’s touch always sent you through the roof. When he removed his fingers from your apex, you whined.

“Don’t pout. You brought this on yourself,” he said as he moved on top of you and kissed you again. He squeezed your nipples that poked against your dress. You groaned at the pleasant sensation.

Your hands grabbed his cock and started working it. Drops of precum slipped down to your fingers. You worked harder as Ten grunted against your mouth.

“I don’t know about you, y/n but I’m wide awake,” Ten said as you both finished.

You laid your head against his broad chest and felt the steady beat of his heart. “Are you now?”

Ten laughed and you could feel the rumble coming from his chest. “Do you want something to eat?”

His sweetness didn’t stop at his tender loving, you thought. But then he interrupted your thoughts.

He said, “I need you to have the stamina for the night I have planned for you.”

You got up from his chest and saw a wicked smile on his face. Knowing Ten, he was capable of going at it with you all hours of the night and the evening had only just begun.

————

[FEBRUARY 1895]

Upon returning from your honeymoon, you and Ten returned well-rested and well-fucked. Ten began his duties as King, including tying up some loose ends that his father left to him to complete and draw up revisions for the laws of the kingdom. You were to attend to visiting the townspeople and participating in social events that would elevate the kingdom’s status in the continent. As promised, Ten was providing financial support to Lucas’ family. Lucas sent you a letter of gratitude to your family’s house. You didn’t have to analyze the letter without Ten getting suspicious. He was with you a lot of the time those first few weeks.

Ten’s mother still grieved for the loss of her husband and upon seeing you, she would be cold and condescending. Regardless of the crown on your head, you were still a social-climbing wannabe to her. She still didn’t approve and you simply swallowed it. You didn’t want to drive a wedge between Ten and his mother so you silently took it.

Ten was sweeter to you than he’d ever been. Now that Lucas was out of the picture, he didn’t feel any sort of threat that would take you away from him. He could relax. He could rule his kingdom, honor his father’s legacy, and begin a perfect life with you.

For the first weeks, you and Ten made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms. You laughed and bickered like an old married couple at some points. Ten let his guard down with you, letting you know of his worries over the kingdom and whether or not he was doing a good job in his father’s stead. You gave him affirmation that he was bringing even more honor to his family and to his people.

As Ten got busier and busier with his duties, you began to see him less, which allowed you time to think of Lucas. Your heart ached. Now you both were married and your chances of ever being together have vanished. Tears fell down to the skirt of your dress.

You decided to visit your family one day. Your mother prepared your favorite tomato soup. It was a family recipe. Your mother always made it for you when you felt troubled.

“You haven’t forgotten him, y/n,” your mother said calmly as she poured herself a glass of water. You knew who she referred to.

You sighed. “How can I? I loved him, mother. I still-”

Your mother shushed you. “You’re queen now, y/n. All eyes and ears are on you. I don’t want you to land in hot water because of one thing you said on impulse. Now...how is your dear husband these days?”

You caught up with your mother about the status of the kingdom and how kind Ten had been to you these days. You had some time to explore your old chambers in your childhood estate. Your desk sat right by the large window where you could look up at the stars. You decided to write a letter to Lucas. You hadn’t heard from him since he sent the letter confirming that his family was being taken care of. You made sure the letter was addressed from your childhood home so it couldn’t get traced back to the kingdom.

Dear Lucas,

How are you? How are things in the Park Estate these days? It’s getting colder here. The first snowfall is happening any day now. I’m pretty excited. The palace finally starts preparing the hot chocolate you love so much. I wish you could be here...Anyways...Being queen hasn’t been that bad. I haven’t been suspended from my duties as of now so I’d say there is still hope for me yet. I wish you well and hope you can respond to me soon.

Yours, y/n

You asked your mother to send the letter to Lucas on your behalf. She gave you a look but gave in. You thanked her, had dinner with your parents, and returned to the palace.

A week later, your mother asked you to come over so you can help her redecorate the common room. It turned out to be a cover. “A letter came for you today. From Prince Lucas,” she said as she handed the letter to you. She sat down on the couch by the lit fireplace.

Your heart soared at this news and you ran up the stairs like an excited school girl. You locked yourself in your old bedroom, sat down at your desk, and opened the letter.

Dear y/n,

I miss you so much. You have no idea. Things for me...Well, I cannot complain. My mother, her husband, and my half-brother Yangyang are living in a lap of luxury in their small town. Yangyang will be able to train in the Royal Commanding Army soon. He’s thrilled beyond belief, saying he owes it all to me...When in reality, we owe it all to you. Thank you so much for convincing Ten to help my family out. I know what you did for me. I will always be thankful. Just as I will always love you. I wish we could be together during the first snowfall. We could’ve made my caretaker take the night off and I would’ve had my way with you at my old estate. If things had been different, huh? I’ll think of you during the first snowfall here, y/n. Please stay safe. I’m so glad to hear things are going well for you. I hope you can write to me again soon. Your words mean everything and more to me.

Yours always, Lucas

Your tears fell at his declaration of his eternal love for you. How you wished things had been different. You decided to keep this letter hidden in your old home so that Ten could never chance himself at finding it. God knows what he would do if he did.

————

[MARCH 1895]

A month passed since you received Lucas’ letter. You two had gone back and forth several times since then. You were overjoyed that Lucas would be attending the kingdom’s upcoming Take Over the Moon Ball to celebrate the lunar eclipse. Princess Rosé would be joining him and while that made you ache with jealousy, you remembered once again that you also were spoken for. In the most permanent manner.

The festivities of the palace extended to the rest of the kingdom. There were firecrackers being launched to the sky. Children played on the streets with life-sized papier-mache dragons. Vendors were making a killing with food, costumes, and spirits. Everyone was ecstatic to witness the lunar eclipse. You were ecstatic to see Lucas again and Ten knew it. There was a spring in your step as you kissed Ten good morning the day of the ball. You two lied in bed together. He hugged your naked body from behind as his cock was nestled inside your rear.

“You’re in a good mood,” Ten said in a teasing manner.

“I love this time of the year,” you admitted. It was part of the truth.

“I know you do. I expect to find you passed out on the dance floor before the night is over. Just like last year.” He smirked.

You laughed. “And you? You’re bound to take your shirt off and wave it like a flag at the balcony, greeting the townspeople once again. You’ll be sure to give some people a thrill.”

“y/n, I’m king now. I’m not going to-“

“Sure, sure...Keep on believing that a title change means that you won’t get drunk out of your wits, darling,” you joked.

Ten pulled himself out of you and turned you around. The look in his eyes was so familiar to you. He hungered for you. The carnal longing for you never ceased. Your heart raced and the heat between your legs increased. He nibbled at your neck and gave you a silent nod. You knew he was about to make love to you again. At least once before you two had to get dressed for your daytime Eclipse activities.

Someone knocked at the door. Ten frowned at the interruption but today was a day packed with activities for the royals. They couldn’t shirk their duties no matter how much they wanted to indulge in their private affairs.

Ten sighed and kissed your forehead. “Tonight. When the ball ends and we send off the last guest, you’re mine.”

Hours passed and you were about to be announced into the ball. The ballroom’s floor-to-ceiling windows brought in images of the starry night and the fireworks in the sky. The skylight gave the party a good view of the moon so you could dance the night away as the eclipse occurred.

Ten stood beside you. He was dressed in his navy blue winter attire with red accents. His golden crown was at the top of his perfectly coiffed hair. You stood beside him in a satin red ball gown. Your golden crown was accented with rubies. You two matched in the kingdom’s official color: red.

“Announcing His Royal Majesty and Her Royal Majesty, King Ten and Queen y/n,” the announcer announced to the guests in the ballroom.

You and Ten stood on top of the grand staircase. He offered his arm to you and you took it. You both walked down with poise and confidence. You would always be the envy of all of the women in the kingdom. You tried not to let the glares get to you. Ten was beaming with pride and victory, presenting you as his woman, his queen, his wife. The whole world needed to know that you belonged to him and no one else.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but scan the room for Lucas and met his warm brown eyes that already found yours. He looked at you in fascination, his mouth agape. Right by his side was his wife, Princess Rosé. She smiled at you out of sheer politeness, never having met you before but knowing you and Lucas were once close.

You couldn’t read her well but knew enough not to focus on them for too long or else others (and Ten) would get suspicious. All eyes were always on you after all..and part of you dreaded it, especially now.

Lucas was spellbound at the sight of you. Your hair was tied up into an elegant bun. Your crown suited you, he thought. You were meant to be queen. How much it hurt him that he couldn’t be the one beside you.

When you reached the bottom of the steps, Ten led you to the center of the dancefloor to begin the first dance of the night. Ten was an excellent dancer so those in attendance were in for a treat. Ten took you into his arms and spun you around to a joyful tune as the live band played. You fancied yourself a good dancer but even you struggled to keep up with Ten’s precision at times. Your nerves caused you to step on his foot. You gasped and felt a collective hush from the crowd as they watched.

You put your hands over your mouth as you pulled away from Ten. “Your Majesty, I am so-”

Ten laughed. “It’s alright, y/n.” He laughed and looked around at the crowd who watched. He took your hands and pulled you closer to his chest. He smiled brightly at the spectators as he whispered to you, “I’ll make you pay for it tonight,” he whispered.

You gulped and nearly stumbled once more but Ten had a steady grip on you. Lucas watched the two of you. He couldn’t be visibly upset. That would cause people to ask questions. It was no secret that he was a close friend of the happy couple but no one knew of his and Ten’s falling out. No one ever would.

Beside him, Princess Rosé said, “What a beautiful couple.”

Lucas forced his voice to sound even. “Yes, they are, Your Highness.”

She wrapped her arms around his left forearm and snuggled her head against his shoulder. “We’ll take over the Park estate soon enough and throw our own lavish party. Then, we will be front and center, my love.”

Lucas replied as kindly as he could, “I anticipate it, my dear princess.”

You knew Lucas was watching. From your peripheral vision, you could feel him watching you. You couldn’t make eye contact or else Ten would’ve noticed.

The dancing continued. You and Ten switched partners from time to time. You took a respite and drank a glass of wine. Ten was in host mode, talking to the most influential leaders in the continent, including Rosé’s father, King Park.

You were tapped on the shoulder. You turned around and Lucas smiled. “Your Majesty.” He gave a playful bow.

You snorted. Very unladylike, you noted but didn’t care. Lucas caught you drooling in your sleep when you took naps under the cherry blossom tree all of these years so he knew who you really were. A title couldn’t change a person so easily.

“Your Highness,” you said as you curtsied.

He chuckled. “This is strange.”

You laughed. “You’re telling me.”

He offered his hand to you, not wasting any time. “May I have this dance?”

The song that was playing was slow. You took Lucas’ hand and walked awkwardly past Ten’s mother. She unapologetically glared at you and was definitely looking for her son to get his reaction. She would be the first to tattle on you like you just got detention and Ten was your parent. Anything to get you kicked to the curb and shunned.

You chose to ignore it and followed Lucas to the dance floor. He held you by the waist. His large hands easily enveloped you. Making physical contact with him after months of separation nearly drove you up a wall. You had to catch your breath. You moved slowly around the dance floor. No one questioned your dance partner as it was no secret you were friends. But Ten knew better. As his colleagues discussed politics and cranked open another bottle of scotch, he watched you and Lucas like a hawk.

You two looked awfully chummy. It killed him not to know what you two were whispering about. It killed him to see you smile at Lucas the way you smiled at him. It was the same look of adoration you gave him...Except he knew it was a more intense adoration. Ten knew that if he looked deeply into your eyes that he would find something more. He knew a part of you still loved Lucas.

What did he expect? For you to completely forget Lucas? Ten would’ve been a fool to believe that to be true. But these kinds of occasions where the Park family was invited were inevitable so he had to come to terms with that fact that you and Lucas would meet again.

It’s not like Lucas could do anything now, Ten reassured himself. You were his queen now. You would never betray him. Ten relaxed himself and laughed at one of King Park’s jokes.

Lucas spun you and pulled you close, “I missed you.”

You replied quietly, “I missed you.”

Lucas sighed. “You’re beautiful.”

Your face grew hotter. “So are you.”

Lucas chuckled. “I’m happy we can have this moment. No matter how brief it is.”

“Me, too. I wish the Park Estate wasn’t so far away.”

“It’s not that far,” Lucas mused.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Really?”

“I timed my last train ride. It’s about five hours away if the conductor has had a full night’s rest.”

“Five hours, huh? Just like that?”

He winked. “Just like that.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re still a pain, I see.”

“And you’re still killing me,” he said, his voice huskier.

Your face had inched closer to his as the song continued. You shook yourself out of your bubble. “How angry does Ten look?” You panicked, forcing yourself to look. You were shocked to find him laughing and having as good of a time as anyone else at the ball. You eased up and exhaled.

“He looks plenty merry to me,” Lucas replied and realized. “What about Princess Rosé?” To your shock, Rosé was dancing with her ex-boyfriend Chanyeol. Everyone thought she would marry Lord Chanyeol but she broke it off when he admitted that he wanted to become a man of the cloth.

You and Lucas looked at each other and laughed.

“Why are we so worried?” You wondered aloud. “Everyone is having a great time and so should we.”

Lucas nodded. “Absolutely.”

You and Lucas retreat from the dance floor and eat together. He tells you about his new life at the Park Estate. He is in training to become their next king. He drank considerably as the night went on. Lucas wasn’t trained to be a diplomat or a lawmaker so it was a huge adjustment for him. His passions were in weaponry and hunting. When Lucas still lived in the kingdom, he trained to be a commander in the royal army. Now, he was preoccupied with reading and attended meetings with King Park. Whenever he wasn’t doing either of those things, he would accompany Rosé on trips and parties.

“It’s a lot different from training to be a commander, I have to say,” Lucas said as he frowned. “I’m glad I was able to bring Hazel with me, though.”

Hazel was Lucas’ trusty steed. You were happy that Ten’s mother hadn’t taken that away from him at least. Lucas treasured horseback riding. It gave him a sense of freedom and exhilaration. It was a piece of home he could always keep with him.

“I miss her. Would it be okay if I came to visit sometime? I would love to visit her,” you said as you took a bite of chocolate cake. You and Lucas had many adventures. You and Lucas would take Hazel on trips to the fields and to the waterfalls in the spring. Hazel trusted no other human besides Lucas and you.

“Just her, huh?” He gave you a knowing look.

You laughed as you sipped your glass of water. “I might as well catch up with the future King of the Park Estate. I can give you some pointers. Ten tells me a lot about the goings on in the kingdom.”

Lucas’ tone shifted abruptly. “I’m sure he does…” He’d hoped you wouldn’t mention him again. You’d certainly done a good job to omit Ten from your letters to him, Lucas thought. Why bring Ten up now?

You cleared your throat. “We don’t have to talk about Ten...I’m sorry.” You could see the distant look on Lucas’ face at the mention of Ten’s name. You didn’t want to hurt him even more.

Lucas smiled sadly as he raised your chin. “Chin up, y/n, you’re allowed to talk about your husband.”

The abrupt physical contact startled you. You looked around to see if anyone noticed. A couple of people did. Your eyes scanned the area for Ten’s mother, your biggest supporter.

“Lucas…” You started.

Lucas averted his eyes. “I’m sorry...I believe my liquid courage may have gotten the best of me, my dearest y/n.”

You sighed. “You can’t just touch me whenever you feel like it..You could get in trouble.” You didn’t mind the physical contact, actually. In fact, you craved it. But too many eyes were on you and you didn’t want any trouble. Ten’s mother would certainly give you an earful at your next obligatory tea time.

Your heart was moving a mile a minute, though. You thought you did enough to keep it from showing on your face. But Lucas made it so difficult.

Lucas took your hand from under the table. “Now no one can see. Is this okay?”

As much as you wanted to go back into a bubble with Lucas, you resisted. You felt him squeeze your hand. Your first instinct was to pull away but Lucas wouldn’t let go. “Please let go. We can’t.”

“Why not?” Lucas demanded. “We are childhood friends. There is nothing wrong with this. Why should we have to hide our bond?”

You quickly swiped your hand away. “You know damn well why. Get a cup of sobering tea. Your character is unbecoming of a prince.” You walked away from Lucas.

He got up and grabbed your arm. “y/n…��

“I believe my wife is correct, Prince Lucas.”

You and Lucas froze in your tracks.

Ten’s voice sounded so neutral. It was deceiving. Any man who touched his wife was in for a beating. No matter the title he held. He walked up to you two and pulled Lucas’ hand away, which went limp against his side.

“Your Majesty, my sincerest apologies, I-“ Lucas began.

Ten replied with the same smile he gave to his other friends and peers. “Go tend to your wife. I will take care of mine.”

Lucas’ fear definitely sobered him up. He bowed as a sign of respect and scurried off to find Princess Rosé.

“Ten, I-“

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said with the same smile on his face. He returned to his group and acted like nothing was wrong. But you knew better.

You knew that this was bad. Astronomically bad.

————

[APRIL 1895]

Days pass and Ten has not returned to your bedchamber that you shared with him. He never gave you the chance to explain. To explain that nothing happened and that Lucas was the one who held your hand. You worried that Ten would deem you unfaithful. You pined for Lucas and you would tell him you loved him in your letters but that was for no one else to know. The act of infidelity was not for you. No matter how much you longed for Lucas. You couldn’t betray Ten. He was upset but according to everyone else, he immersed himself into his duties.

Lucas sent you a letter a day in the past week. You scanned them quickly. They were full of apologies and sweet nothings. Part of you was furious at Lucas for being so unabashedly stupid and reckless. Part of you yearned for him even more. However, because you were already in hot water with Ten, you left Lucas’ letters unanswered.

When you saw Ten at public events in which you two appeared as a couple, he kept that same cold friendly smile on his face when he was around you. He would hold your hand and kiss your cheek. At first, you were stiff and confused as to how he was acting but soon, to save face, you also followed his lead of insincerity. You two would leave in separate carriages as he had other engagements to attend to.

After a week, you two finished dinner with the head commander and his wife. For the first time since the incident, you both rode home together. On the carriage ride back to the palace, you rode in silence.

“Ten,” you started meekly.

Ten did not reply as he stared out the window.

“Ten,” you snapped.

He whipped his head towards you with that same condescending smile. “Yes, dearest?”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t give me that. We’re alone now. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Ten chuckled. “That’s rich, coming from you. Asking me what’s wrong like you have any right to be upset.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Ten, I told you that Lucas and I-”

He moved closer to you and grabbed you by the arm. “Don’t you dare bring up that bastard’s name. The next time you let that name slip from your lips-”

“What, then?” You demanded. “Tell me.”

Ten’s smile faded. “You don’t want to go there, y/n. You seem to have forgotten every single thing I’ve done for you since the minute you said yes to me. You’ve become ungrateful and insolent…”

You tried pulling away but Ten wouldn’t budge. He kissed you, forcibly entering your mouth with his tongue. Between kisses, he said, “You. Are. Mine.”

You pulled away with all of the strength you had and looked him in the eyes. “Ten, nothing happened. I swear to you. I love you. Only you.” You were willing to say anything for him to soften his grasp, soften his expression. He couldn’t kiss you or touch you when he was like this. In the bedroom, he was scary enough when he wasn’t mad at you.

Tears ran down your cheeks and something inside Ten made him relax. He realized he may have taken things too far with you. Lucas was to blame for all of this. Ten’s mother should’ve married him off to a princess in another continent so you two would never see each other again.

Ten sighed. “What happened at the ball, y/n?” He let you go quickly and helped you flatten your dress.

You began, “We danced. We ate and caught up with each other. He was acting like nothing had changed. He’s always been very affectionate. You know this more than anyone.”

Ten glared at the floor of the carriage. “Sure.”

“He held my hand,” you said. “That was all. He wanted to act like nothing changed between us.”

Ten raised his eyebrows. “And what do you mean by ‘nothing changed between you two’?”

He was baiting you. He suspected the worst of you: that you would cheat on him in marriage. After the vow you swore to one another?

You sighed. “Our friendship. I’m queen and he can’t exactly give me bear hugs like he used to.”

Still a little wary, Ten nodded.

You continued, “Things are different now. He’s married and...you and me are married,” you said as you held his hand. “I love you, Ten.”

Ten softened at hearing those three words again. The sound of his name that came off of the prettiest lips. He caressed you and embraced you. “I’m sorry, my love. I was too harsh on you.”

You cried softly. He definitely had been. You hugged him back. You were relieved that he was no longer angry. You hoped things would return to normal now.

When you returned to your chambers to retire for the night, you wanted to surprise Ten with your newest set of undergarments that came in from the country of Soleil. This was in anticipation of making up with him at some point and now you couldn’t think about anything else other than pleasing your husband. Ten returned from the restroom to find you lying against the headboard of your massive bed. Your brassiere barely held up your breasts. You may as well have not been wearing one. Your panties hugged your bottom tightly.

“My king,” you said slowly, looking at Ten from under your eyelashes.

Ten was in his wine red robe and nothing else on, which was his usual bedroom attire. He was shocked to see you so bold. Seeing you take the initiative should’ve sent his cock up.

But it laid there. Limp.

You looked down at his nether region and made the same observation. You shot Ten a look of confusion. Perhaps the week apart really threw you both off of your game. But you continued. You got off of the bed and walked slowly over to him. Ten’s mouth dropped at the sight of you. You looked so...appetizing.

His cock seemed to disagree and he started to panic, which he knew would make things worse. He tried to distract you by meeting you halfway. He wrapped his arms around you and put his hands on your ass. “You want to play with me, don’t you?”

“Well, I’ve been quite bored and lonely in this bed all by myself, Your Majesty…” You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his collarbone.

Ten hissed as you grabbed his cock, which to your surprise was still not springing up. You looked up at Ten with big eyes, making him blush a bright red.

As you moved your hand up and down his cock, nothing happened.

Ten tried to distract you as he pleased you. He inserted two fingers into your panties and fingered around your flower. He was hoping his magical fingers could render you silly and distract you. However, you were already upset. Even worse, you weren’t soaked.

Ten picked you up bridal style and tried to spin how this night would transpire. He laid you on the bed. “Can you be a good girl for me? In fact, you still owe me for stepping on my foot at the ball,” he said as he gave you a knockout smile.

You wanted to be the one who pleased him. To have him writhe under you and make you plead for mercy. You shook your head. You knew something was wrong and he was trying to hide it.

“I wanted to be in charge tonight, Your Majesty, but I guess things just aren’t looking up,” you said as you put your own robe on and moved to your side of the bed. As Ten begged you to change your mind, you ignored him and silently cried yourself to sleep.

You couldn’t understand. The mere sound of his name off of your lips usually got him hard. Sometimes to the point that it distracted you from your daily activities together. So what went wrong? What could you have done differently? Were you at fault?

You’ve never felt so small.

————

You woke up the next day to find Ten already left for the day. He left you a glass of water with a note.

My darling y/n,

I am so sorry. I’m not quite sure what happened. I will be seeing a specialist to see if there’s any issue. Darling, this is all on me. I love you and will see you soon. Please don’t be sad. My queen deserves happiness forevermore.

Yours Eternally,

Ten

You rolled your eyes at reading his note but in the back of your mind, you wondered if there could be some underlying medical condition he could’ve developed. You thought of his father and now you began to worry.

Perhaps you had been too mean.

You spent time in the library researching King Lee’s ailments that caused his early passing but could find nothing that tied to Ten’s erectile dysfunction. Then, you read up on erectile dysfunction and wondered if Ten had been dealing with too much stress. You would have the kitchen prepare him some tea to help him sleep earlier. He needed more rest. Even now, you still had no idea what emotional and mental tolls Ten’s father’s death had taken on him.

You retreated back to your quarters for lunch. As you walked past the kitchen area, you heard giggles and sighs. You caught a peek inside of the room and saw the maids sharing a smoke.

“He is the most beautiful man.” One of them laughed.

“Oh, please, His Majesty has nothing on Prince Lucas. It’s such a shame he lives so far away now…” Another maid added.

“How naive you are. I don’t think the prince has the same stamina as His Royal Majesty does,” a third maid with the most condescending tone added. She laughed mockingly at the second maid. “I mean, ask Jade.”

The maids didn’t see you and you were thankful that stealth was one of your hidden attributes. The nerve of these maids. You could’ve easily walked in and fired them all but you weren’t Ten. You were more lenient with the help. When someone didn’t fold his clothes the right way, Ten would be on the verge of dismissing them. You always had to talk him down from making that mistake. On the other hand, you tried to give the servants the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe not today, though.

Who the hell was Jade?

“Jade is a trollop who lacks the brain cells to keep her mouth shut,” the first maid said, “And I’m not just talking about spewing her secrets.”

That caused all of the maids to cackle like witches.

These maids had no idea what they were talking about. How dare they talk about Ten in such a lewd manner? And who the hell was Jade?

The name sounded familiar. You believe she worked near the stables.

“Jade should be careful. Any day now that simpleton queen will catch them in the act and there’s no telling what will happen to her,” the third maid said as she blew out a puff of smoke.

“She better hope that day isn’t today. Jade seemed pretty excited to return to the stables after lunch,” the second maid added.

You gaped at that last sentence and ran off. The maids could hear the sound of footsteps fading and their smoke break did nothing to alleviate their worries now.

You made your way to the stables with a few attendants at your side. You instructed them to wait for you outside as you wanted to greet the horses. According to them, the horse handlers and stable workers were on break.

You walked into the stable and pet the horses, feeding them carrots and sugar cubes. They reminded you of Hazel and in turn, Hazel reminded you of Lucas.

A woman’s giggle broke you out of your thoughts as you heard some noise in the back right corner of the stables. The giggle came from an empty stable as the door was left open. You moved slowly down to the end so as not to be detected. When you got closer, that was when you could hear the moans, the slapping of skin, and the sloppy kisses.

“Are you enjoying this, Your Majesty?” You heard a woman ask. Her voice is low and seductive and most of all, very irritating.

You stood there frozen in your tracks. Perhaps this woman and her partner were into using nicknames in their foreplay, you thought. Maybe you were wrong to suspect the worst. Maybe there was a visiting king? But in the stables with a mystery woman?

But then you heard his moans.

“You are serving your master well, Jade. Your family will be provided handsomely for your commendable service to your king,” he said.

It was Ten. And in the shadows, you recognized the outline of his dick. The image of his dick was embedded in your brain. How could it not be when Ten’s thirst was never satisfied?

You caught a peek of the couple and saw Ten completely naked and the maid Jade down to her undergarments. She was riding his dick like her life depended on it. Speaking of your husband’s endowment, it didn’t seem like anything was wrong now.

What a cruel joke. You laughed to yourself. Loud enough for the pair to jump.

“y/n!” Ten looked stunned for the first time in his life. He hadn’t looked this stunned since the news of his father’s passing.

“Hello, darling,” you began, “And this must be the commendable Jade.”

Jade’s satiated smile quickly vanished at the sight of you. She quickly covered herself with the first piece of fabric she could find. And it was one of Ten's robes. The nerve of this underling, you thought. How dare she grab onto your husband’s clothes as if she was entitled to them?

You had the mind to send her to the dungeon. You could finally see the appeal behind dungeons. Ten always wanted to sentence the help to the dungeons for little inconveniences and you always had to be the one to talk him down. But now...you finally had a good reason to put a servant away.

“Now’s not the time to be modest, Jade,” you said as you wrapped your arms around your chest. You walked up to her and placed your heel against her chest. She breathed heavily against your shoe. “I should thank you. And here I thought my husband was falling ill...I was so concerned. But now thanks to you, I know that he is a lecherous and treacherous fiend.”

Jade shrunk. This was so unlike the big mouthed and presumptuous slag you were expecting.

“Cat got your tongue?” You asked sweetly. “Speak up. You do enough of it that thanks to a handful of maids, I could be here with you two today.”

“y/n,” Ten begged as he grabbed your left leg. “Please-”

“Get your dirty hands off of me, husband.” You spat the last word with as much venom as you could muster. You kicked his arms away.

You got your foot off Jade's chest and turned to Ten. You put your heel very near to his nether region. You had the nerve to stomp on it and ruin his chances of producing an heir. Jade grabbed her clothes and scurried away.

“That’s right, vermin. Scurry off to your station,” you said with a fake smile and a fake lilt to your voice. When you turned back to your still naked husband, your voice turned to stone.

“So this is who you ran to when you gave me the cold shoulder the past week, huh? How insulting,” you spat. “You should’ve hid your tracks better. Far be it from me to let you two have your little midday delights.”

Ten breathed heavily from his passionate lovemaking and now because of the murderous look in your eyes. “y/n, darling...I am so sorry. I was upset…”

You raised your eyebrows. “You expect me to believe that this little affair is new? Don’t make me laugh.”

You got your foot off of his crotch and helped him up. You pushed him against the wall of the stables, stunning the rest of the horses. They neighed and jumped in their stables.

“Lucas held my hand because that’s the kind of shit close friends do but since your insecure little ass couldn’t take it, you sent him away. Right? Don’t tell me that that was all your mummy’s doing.”

Ten was about to snap back but you interrupted him, not giving him a chance to spin this on you.

“What will you do?” You asked.

Ten asked, “What-”

“What will you do when that harlot ends up pregnant with your baby? Will you make the child suffer just like your father did Lucas-”

Ten slapped you, unable to control his anger any longer. “How dare you dishonor my father and bring up that bastard…”

You clutch onto your cheek, shocked that he would ever lay a hand on you. After everything he’s done...And he wanted to spin this on you? For speaking out of turn?

A good queen would swallow her pride and forgive her husband. For they were bound together until death did them part. A reasonable woman, on the other hand, would destroy him. Unfortunately, you fell somewhere in between these two identities.

You finished as hot tears ran down your face. “How dare you do this to me? You said that I was all that you ever wanted. I guess you’ll say anything to get anyone into bed. What a fool I’ve been.” You kicked him in the shins and ran off.

“y/n!” He yelled out in physical and emotional pain.

You returned to your parents’ home and spent the rest of the day with them. You weeped near to the point of hysterics in your bed. You have never felt so humiliated. And at the hands of the man who was supposed to treasure you with each breath he took.

Ten knew you were back at your old home and didn’t come to see you. You thought it was a smart choice on his part because had he come see you, you would’ve contemplated the subject of genital mutilation.

Your mother brought you a bowl of fruit and you savored each bite. Ten was repulsed by fruit so if you ever ate it, he would know and it would irritate him greatly. Well, you did a little more than irritate him today. And you didn’t give a damn. You weren’t returning to the palace for as long as you could help it so bring on the fruit, you said.

Ten especially hated strawberries. You indulged on all of the strawberries in the bowl, enjoying it more now since Ten wasn’t around to protest. The things you had to sacrifice to be with him...The strawberries weren’t even the tip of the iceberg.

You told your parents everything. Your father had the nerve to go to the castle and give Ten a beating, royal status be damned. You told them to stand down because they didn’t deserve to get entangled in this mess. They welcomed you back home for at least a few days but insisted you would have to make amends with Ten. Your marriage was until death did you part, after all.

This marital construct was starting to sound more and more like bullshit with each passing day.

Your mother handed you a letter. “He sent you another letter. Shall I throw it away?”

You sighed. “No, it’s alright.”

Your mother gave you a warning look. You nodded, knowing what she said without hearing the words. She left you in your room.

You got up from bed and sat down at your desk. You opened the letter.

Dear y/n,

I know it’s pointless to make excuses but I want you to know that I am genuinely sorry. Under the facade of friendship, I was jealous. That man has the one thing I want. The one thing I need. The one thing I crave. And I can’t have her. I missed you so much and seeing you in that red dress, I was very near to my undoing. I love you, y/n. I always will but I know it is too late for us. I will let you go. For your sake.

I’m in my mother’s hometown of Wanderlust for the next two weeks. Princess Rosé is away as one of her closest friends will be wed in the Western continent. If you would like to meet once more, I would like that very much.

Yours Always,

Lucas

Lucas visited Wanderlust under the pretense of hunting and to take a respite in nature. The Park estate was aware of his whereabouts. They believed him to be staying with a humble host family. They assumed Lucas did it to know what it was like to be among commoners. To help gain their family a new perspective. When in reality the family of commoners were his real family.

Your anger at Lucas faded in the past few days but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond to any of his letters. Until now.

You got your travel bag prepared and told your mother you were traveling to the family cabin in Flame, a town quite close to Wanderlust. Your mother noted the shift in your mood. The restored determination in your eyes. Something in that letter made you want to go to Flame...or somewhere near it.

“Mother, if Ten comes for me, tell him I have retired to our cabin in Flame. I will return in three days.” You prayed he wouldn’t come and find you.

Lucas called to you and it was time for you to stop shoving these feelings aside. If only for a moment.

In the evening, you arrived via train to Flame and settled into your family’s cabin. The next day, you took one of the ranch hand’s horses, Mint, to arrive in the next town of Wanderlust.

You forgot how liberating it felt to ride on a horse. Lucas typically sat at the front of the saddle when you two rode on his horse Hazel. Now you rode on Mint on your own. You felt so liberated and light. The feel of the wind whipping against your face. The quick beating of your heart. The stomping of the hooves against the dirt. You envisioned yourself on an epic journey, as a heroine on her way to save an endangered village. You liked to play pretend when you were a little girl but as a teenager, it was Lucas who would entertain your imagination. He would act as your second-in-command on your horseback adventures.

He was endearing that way. You couldn’t wait to see him again. You followed Lucas’ instructions that he attached to the letter in order to find his family home.

You saw a house in the distance with a large wisteria tree. The purple and blue flowers dangled from the branches. It was a magnificent tree. Your eyes moved downward to the trunk where you found Lucas sitting with his nose in a book again

Hearing the horse coming in the distance, Lucas got up from the tree, dropping his book to the ground in shock.

You were a vision. You couldn’t possibly be here. He was dreaming. He must have fallen asleep reading the history of the Park Estate again.

You pulled the reins on Mint and you stopped a few feet before him.

“Hello there,” you said, acting like a gallant gentleman picking up his lady.

Realizing you weren’t a figment of his imagination, Lucas laughed. “You look ridiculous.” He said it so fondly. So intimately that you knew he was messing with you.

He was right, though. You reached your hand up to your hair to find it tangled from the wind. Horseback riding always looked more impressive when other people did it, you guessed. You just weren’t blessed with a wind-resistant mane.

You were about to hop down from Mint but Lucas helped you, grabbing you by the waist and turning you around to face him. You jumped into his arms and he pulled you in for a hug. He spun you around in circles.

“You came,” he said, smiling and humming against your hair.

You nodded, shy. “I did.”

“Lucas, it’s time for lunch!” A third voice piped in.

You and Lucas nearly jumped out of your skin. He quickly put you down and you fixed your hair the best you could.

A young man appeared before you both. He eyed you and then he quickly bowed. “You must be the incomparable Queen y/n.”

You gasped. “How does he-”

“y/n, this is my younger brother, Yangyang,” Lucas said as he wrapped an arm around his brother.

“You were holding out on me, Lucas,” Yangyang addressed Lucas so casually. “She’s gorgeous. If you weren’t spoken for, Your Majesty, I would’ve stolen you from both the king and my brother.”

You laughed. “I believe that, Yangyang. You are definitely the cuter sibling.”

Lucas pouted. “You don’t mean that.”

You got up on your tiptoes and ruffled Lucas’ hair. “Maybe not.”

Yangyang rolled his eyes. “Your Majesty, would you do us the honor of joining us for lunch since my ignorant older brother has not done so already?”

You fought back a laugh as Lucas was about to protest. “I would love to.”

You joined Yangyang and Lucas inside their country home. You were happy to see that Lucas’ family lived in a nice and safe house. It was lovely and warm. There were family photos on the wall and paintings as well. There were well-tended plants all over the common room. A fire was lit at the fireplace.

Yangyang led you both into the kitchen. Lucas called out, “Mother!”

“Yes, dear?” You heard a woman call out. She was cutting some vegetables as she cooked some stew.

You entered the kitchen. Lucas continued, “I have someone I want you to meet.”

Lucas’ mother turned around and gasped. “Y-your Majesty!”

The last reaction you expected from Lucas’ mother was shock but then you remembered you were Queen. You coughed out, “H-hello, ma’am.”

Lucas’ mother was gorgeous. You can see where Lucas got his warm smile and his magnetic brown eyes. Her long black hair ran down her back and it was tied back with a baby blue ribbon. “It is an honor to meet you. We welcome you into our home. May I offer you a cup of tea?”

You nodded, smiling. “The honor is all mine. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time. And yes, some tea would be great.”

She grinned. “Please take a seat.” She offered you a seat at the dining room table beside the kitchen. “Had I known you were coming, I would’ve cleaned up.”

You, Lucas, and Yangyang looked around the house. It was spotless.

“Mother-” Yangyang started, about to say something sarcastic, surely.

Their mother shushed Yangyang. She turned to her much taller son. “You could’ve given me some notice, Lucas.”

“Actually, this was a surprise visit. Completely my fault. I hope I’m not disturbing,” you said, feeling bad. You didn’t realize how much of an imposition you were being to Lucas and his family. “I won’t be long-”

Lucas interrupted as he took your hand, pleading. “No, don’t go.”

Yangyang snickered and their mother laughed with her hand over her mouth. “Your Majesty, you can stay for as long as you’d like.”

“Th-thank you, ma’am...I would appreciate it if you guys called me y/n when we’re alone…”

Yangyang replied, “You’re kidding.”

You shook your head. “I am not.”

Lucas added, “She’s queen. We have to do what she says.”

You all laughed as you helped their mother prepare lunch. No one wanted you to lift a finger so you used the queen card again. You were allowed to make fresh orange juice. It’d been so long since you’ve been allowed to do something for yourself without a servant. It felt good.

Lucas stole glances from you as you worked in the kitchen. Your heart raced faster each time.

You all sat down for lunch. Lucas’ stepfather, aka Yangyang’s father, came in and greeted you and was brought up to speed on your visit. The five of you sat down for lunch. The stew was delicious. It rivaled your mother’s tomato soup. You wished you could have an endless supply of this stew…

For when you had to go back.

As crazy as it sounded, it pained for you to go back to the palace. In a matter of hours, you felt more at home in Lucas’ family home than you had at the palace.

You wondered just how different things would’ve been had you, Lucas, and Ten never been royals. The pressure would’ve been off. Ten wouldn’t have thrown his power in your face. Lucas wouldn’t have had to leave. Maybe you and Lucas would have run off and moved to a place like this.

And be happy together.

Lucas noticed that you grew silent at the table.

He offered to put his hand over yours. You nodded. He knew better than ever that consent was necessary.

Lucas’ mother and stepfather eyed each other. Yangyang blew a loose strand of hair off of his forehead. “You two couldn’t be more obvious.”

You and Lucas nearly jumped out of your seats.

Lucas’ mother asked carefully, “y/n, are you alright? Did something happen at the palace for you to come visit?”

Lucas frowned as he saw the wave of dread that fell over your face.

“Uh…” You hesitated.

“Mother, wait…” Lucas started.

Lucas’ mother apologized, “I am so sorry, Your-I mean, y/n...I spoke out of turn.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. I would just prefer to not discuss it. As far as His Royal Majesty is concerned, he has been informed that I took a respite in my family’s cabin in Flame. Not too far from here.”

Lucas could tell something was wrong. And he knew it was Ten’s fault. That son of a bitch, he thought.

You and Lucas’ family continued eating and the mood hadn’t been destroyed. You recounted tales of Lucas’ youth to his family and they were all laughing so hard. Lucas’ mother nearly teared up a few times as she had missed so much for the sake of her son’s future. After her many protests, Lucas’ mother begrudgingly let you help clean up the table. Yangyang and his father retired to get some firewood to roast some marshmallows later. You joined Lucas in the backyard where a stream flowed.

“Hi,” you said as Lucas watched the water.

“You alright?” He asked, focused solely on you now.

You nodded. “Yeah, I feel so much better.”

He patted the grass beside him so you would join him. “I told myself I wouldn’t pry but...what happened?”

You sighed. “Well, after the ball, Ten did a little more than give me the cold shoulder for a week.”

Lucas turned right around and looked at you. “What…”

“He’s been sleeping with the help. Some harlot named Jade who works in the stables,” you said as you picked at the grass with your fingers.

Lucas shot up from his seat on the grass. “I’ll kill him. Don’t know how but I’ll kill him. Let’s go right now-”

You stood up and looked up at him, yearning for eye contact to ease his stress. “No, Lucas. I don’t want to see him. I came here to get away from him but more importantly, I wanted to see you.”

Lucas met your gaze and cupped your face in his hands. “I hate to see you in pain. You don’t deserve this. He was supposed to take care of you. Only you. That insufferable troll.”

You caressed your face against his hands, enjoying the warmth that radiated off of them. “I suppose he thought you and I…”

Lucas’ eyes widened. “It’s because of me…” He had no idea just how much of a mess he’d made.

You shook your head. Ten was blowing things out of proportions, like he always did. “He was always jealous of the connection we shared.”

Lucas let go of your face and held your hand. “I don’t blame him. Before I got married, I was jealous of every moment between you and him.”

A little embarrassed at his confession, you added, “You definitely hid it better than Ten did.”

Lucas shook his head. “There was going to be a point where the three of us wouldn’t be friends anymore. Because of our feelings for you. And now that I know the truth about my real father, it’s worse.”

You squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry. Queen Lee was always so harsh with you, too.”

“I always wondered why that crone hated me so much. It’s nice to finally know the truth, at least.”

Lucas’ existence was a reminder to Ten’s mother that her husband had been unfaithful. She carried so much bitterness in her heart. After seeing the stunt Ten pulled, you could finally understand her more.

It didn’t mean her any less of an intolerable crone but you understood where all of the resentment came from.

And it made you wonder if Ten had committed more than one indiscretion. With more than one partner. You grew tense just thinking of what awaited you when you returned to the palace. How you wished you didn’t have to go back.

Lucas continued, “I’m so sorry, y/n. I didn’t want to trouble you. It was the last thing I wanted.”

You sighed and smiled at him. “Ten didn’t make it any better so don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Lucas sighed. “I would talk to him but I’m the last person he wants to hear from.”

“I...You know what, I’m not going to fight you on that. I can’t mention your name or he…”

Lucas grew concerned. “Or he’ll what?”

“He didn’t tell me,” you started, “But I can imagine whatever he had in mind wouldn’t be fun.”

“He wouldn’t lay a hand on you,” Lucas challenged, He then admitted, “As for emotional manipulation? That’s fair game.” He also grew up with Ten, of course. You and Lucas knew Ten better than anyone. Ten’s dear mother only saw what Ten wanted her to see. In her eyes, he was the perfect and devoted son. Ten was an actor. You had to give him credit where it was due.

You sighed. “Well, I’m not going to take that.”

Lucas ran his hands over his hair in frustration. “You shouldn’t have to. God, why did you marry him? Well, I know why...I just...You shouldn’t have…”

You ruffled his hair. “I would do it again. I’m so happy you and your family are safe. That’s what matters to me.”

Lucas looked at you in awe. You were the most selfless and courageous woman he’d ever known. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you said as you hugged him.

He held you tightly because as he had stated in his letter, this could be your goodbye. “I miss you. All the time. I miss you right now, even though you’re right here with me because I know it’s only a matter of time until you go back.”

You cried, “I wish things could be different but...”

Lucas wiped your endless stream of tears. “Maybe...just this once....”

You froze. His lips were so close. All you had to do was tiptoe and you could have him. So you kissed him and he quickly reciprocated. Each kiss felt as if it was your last. Your panties were soaked at just imagining Lucas on top of you again.

Lucas never wanted to let you go. You were his whole world. A beam of sunlight that he wished he could always keep with him. Even if your time together was brief, he treasured each second more than the last. After a few minutes, Lucas released you. “Do you…” He started. He wanted to make love one last time.

You wanted to say yes. You really did. But Ten’s betrayal was still fresh on your mind. You couldn’t fathom stooping as low as he did. This was not the way you wanted to reconnect with Lucas. You didn’t want your time with Lucas to include revenge sex. It wasn’t even about getting even. You wanted to be with Lucas for the sake of just being with him.

You shook your head. “Let’s just spend the next three days together. With your family.”

You didn’t have to explain. Lucas was just happy to be with you for as long as you both could manage.

For the next few days of your retreat, you checked on your family’s cabin to make sure you had no unwanted visitors. The last person you wanted to see but also expected to find was Ten. You wouldn’t put it past him to come and find you, even after you insisted you would return on your own. However, his schedule was always tightly packed. You always made a note of his upcoming schedules so even you could know where he was at all times. Ten certainly didn’t have a problem with doing the same for you. You could never be too careful.

It seemed like Ten had respected your need for space, which gave you some relief. You wondered if he was with another servant now. It could’ve easily been anyone: a noble, a royal from another continent, anyone. You weren’t sure if getting caught by you would deter him. One thing you learned about Ten was that his appetite was never fully satiated. Perhaps you weren’t enough for him. And that hurt you to the core.

You spent most of your time at Lucas’ family home. You went horseback riding with Lucas and Yangyang. You went swimming in the stream with Lucas. Yangyang and his father taught you how to maneuver a bow and arrow for the palace forbade you from learning. Lucas’ mother taught you about the medicinal herbs she worked with. She was the local physician of Wanderlust. You also baked pastries with her and talked to her about Lucas’ past.

You sat down together the night before you parted for the palace again. You sat outside with her, overlooking the large grassy field.

Lucas’ mother stirred her tea. “I’m thankful to you, y/n.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to help your family-”

She shook her head and laughed. “No, dear. I meant, thank you for being by his side all of these years. I couldn’t be with my son and I always wondered if he was truly happy at the palace. If he found moments of respite and joy when he wasn’t being scrutinized by his father and his wife.”

You replied, “It was Lucas who was there for me, ma’am.”

She placed her hand over yours. “Give yourself more credit. I see the way he is with you. He adores you.”

You avoided her stare, in fear of revealing too much.

“I know his marriage to the princess was not through his own volition and that his heart belongs to you, y/n. I am truly sorry that it ended up this way.”

“So am I,” you replied as you drank your tea. Your hands shook as you handled the cup.

“Perhaps in the next life, you two will find each other again,” she said as she looked out into the horizon.

“Perhaps,” you said as a tear left your eye once again.

“You are always welcome here. You have become like a daughter to me,” she said warmly.

You wiped your tear away and gave her a bright smile. “Would it be acceptable if I called you Mother?”

Lucas’ mother cried tears of joy. “Of course. Only if you let me call you daughter.”

You held her hands and embraced her. Lucas watched you two from the backdoor and smiled, tears in his eyes.

Lucas accompanied you back to your cabin on his family’s horse. You rode together side by side and stole glances. “We can do this again, right?” He asked.

You pretended to think about it. “Of course, we can!” You laughed at his eye roll.

He replied, “Then the next time I plan to return to Wanderlust, I will send you a letter.”

You smiled, biting your lip. “I would like that.”

Lucas kissed you goodbye. It pained you both but you felt relief at knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw each other.

————

Upon arriving at the train station, you were shocked to find Ten waiting there for you. He was accompanied by a group of servants and guards. The passengers and visitors in the station watched him in awe and adoration.

“Your Majesty!”

“It’s Queen y/n!”

“And His Majesty has come to receive her. How sweet! What an attentive husband!”

“Long live King Lee!”

“Many blessings to the royal couple!”

“Ten…” You started.

He began, “Seulgi, grab her bag.”

You and Ten’s servant Seulgi greeted you with a nod and grabbed your bag. Ten offered his arm to you and seeing as you had an audience and an obligation to your people, you took his arm. “Welcome home, darling,” he said quietly. You walked together to the carriage that would take you to the palace.

“Your Majesty,” you replied.

“How was your time in Flame?” He asked.

“Quiet,” you began, “It was nice to get away from the chaos of the palace for a moment. It has been a stressful time. All of this,” you waved your arms around to the crowd, “is still very new to me.”

He cooed. “Darling, it is understandable. It only pleases me that you have returned home.”

He helped you up in the carriage and he sat himself down beside you. The coachman instructed the horses to move. You looked out the window now, avoiding Ten’s stare.

“y/n…” He started.

You shook your head. “Not here.”

So he waited until you returned to your shared quarters.

“y/n,” he said, more pathetically.

“What is it, husband until death do us part?” You asked bitterly as you untied your hair and sat down at the vanity beside the bed.

He hesitated and you wondered just what the look on his face was. You refused to look at him through the mirror. He was always a very prideful and defensive man, even when he was in the wrong. You imagined he was furious at your attitude. Maybe that wouldn’t be to your benefit. He wasn’t the type to grovel for forgiveness.

“I am deeply repentant for my indiscretion with that maid. It meant absolutely nothing. She is not you, y/n.” He attempted to hug you from behind.

You pulled yourself away from him. You scoffed. “Well, it’s nice to know that she can’t fuck as well as I can. That makes me feel so much better.”

Ten bit back his words. He didn’t want you to be mad at him but your insubordination was not making this easy.

You decided to drive the wedge between you further. You recited the following: “‘I will love you for all of my days and be loyal to you. Only. You’.” Ten’s marriage vows had unraveled before your very eyes.

Ten pleaded. “y/n-”

You finally turned around and faced him. “You. Hurt. Me. Betrayed me. Discarded me. If only for a moment, you discarded me like a used handkerchief. If you were going to treat me like this, you shouldn’t have married me. You didn’t need me to rule. You never needed me. You could be with any woman you want. But you wanted to marry me. Why, Ten? Why did you marry me if you were going to fuck this up so horribly?” You sobbed.

Ten’s conscience reared its ugly head and he had to take pause and consider your words. You were questioning your marriage now. You were never meant to find out about his indiscretion. This was all of his fault.

And now here you were, the love of his life: crumbling, spiteful, and broken.

You had to know that no matter who he laid with, you were always on his mind. Always in his heart. The only woman who could reign beside him. You were his everything. He worshipped you. You had to know that.

If you continued to convince yourself that this marriage couldn’t work, then you would insist on an annulment. And Ten forbade it. He would make it an official kingdom rule. Unless it was through death, a marriage was permanent.

And he intended to live a long, happy life with you and the children that you would give him.

So he would have to treat you kindly and gain your trust in any way he could. “I am so sorry, y/n. I...There is no excuse for the mistake I’ve made. The fool I was, I believed the worst of you and especially Lucas. I thought you had betrayed me so...I found comfort in another woman. A lowly servant of all people! I’ve committed an unforgivable grievance.”

You sniffled and eyed him carefully. “Ten, you were wrong about Lucas and me. You never gave me a chance to explain. You were quick to find someone else to lie with. It makes me wonder if this was the only indiscretion…”

Ten sobbed. He broke down and sobbed. You hadn’t seen him break down like this...ever. Not since his father died.

He got down on both of his knees before you. “I’ve failed you, my love. I am scum. I am unworthy of you. I should be burned at the stake. I am willing to do anything for you to forgive me. I can’t be without you. You have helped me through the darkest moments of my life. The thought of losing you...is too much for me to bear. I...can’t.”

“Ten, please…” You worried he was about to choke. “You need to calm down…”

He shook his head. “I cannot! I need you, y/n! I will not deceive you again. I swear it to you!”

You took the pitcher of water from the bedside table and poured him a glass of water. You offered it to him.

He sniffled and wiped his tears with his sleeve. “Thank you. Even when you’re angry at me, you show me kindness. My queen…”

You sighed. It was going to take a lot for you to open yourself up to Ten again. But he was remorseful beyond your wildest dreams. You had to take his word for it that he would try. It would take a long time but if Ten was in earnest, you had to accept it.

“Okay,” you said quietly.

“Darling?” His eyes widened with a rare childlike innocence.

“Okay,” you said more clearly.

His beautiful smile appeared on his face and he cried happily as he took your hand, squeezing it. “My angel. My everything.”

You didn’t squeeze his hand back but you gingerly removed your hand from his grasp. Ten’s smile faded.

“It will take some time for you to regain my complete confidence. I am your wife. And I will do all that is required of me as queen but I plead with you: do right by me. Be faithful to me and only me. That is all I ask of you,” you said, still uncertain of what the future would bring for you two.

Ten was relieved. You were giving him a second chance. He would do everything in his power and more to regain your trust and devotion.

————

[JULY 1895]

Ten has done nothing short of spoiling you rotten for the past three months. He bought you the finest jewels from the ends of the world, having the country’s best designers fix them into brooches, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and crowns. Knowing you had the biggest sweet tooth, he had the kitchen staff working around the clock to prepare pastries from all over the world. He arranged trips to libraries and observatories all over the country for your thirst for knowledge never ceased.

As for Jade, Ten dismissed her and you hadn’t seen or heard mention of her since that fateful day.

Slowly, you opened yourself up to Ten. You began to joke with him again, acting like you used to when you were friends. You welcomed him into bed again and would sleep together. And eventually, you became one again every night.

In those three months, you and Lucas exchanged letters whenever you visited your parents. He was doing well at the kingdom. The king and queen were fond of him. Rosé was good to him. You were happy he wasn’t in a hostile environment anymore but part of you still longed for him.

Lucas was happy to hear that you were in better spirits but he was onto Ten. He always knew there was something off about his half-brother: an inexplicable thirst that never quenched. He believed that a man like him was capable of deceit and could hurt you again. However, because you sounded happier, he chose to refrain from meddling. Instead, you two constantly reminded each other that no matter the distance or the time, you two would always love each other. And that you would see each other again.

After visiting the orphanage in town, you returned to the castle earlier than anticipated. You walk past the library only to hear a strange noise.

You frowned. That was odd. The library was only open to you and Ten. It was only cleaned in the evenings when you’d both retired for your slumber.

You wondered if it had been a spirit so curiosity got the best of you. You walked quietly down the astronomy section and peaked through the shelves to find…

Your husband doing the one thing he swore he would never do to you.

Again.

Only this time, a different maid was on her knees, consuming the cum from his length. You couldn’t see her face, only her auburn tied up with a black ribbon. He had just orgasmed all over her and she sucked at his length like it was her latest chore. She was an efficient little whore.

As for your beloved husband, he pulled at her hair and grunted like the beast that he was.

Instead of letting him know you were there, you carefully walked out of the library and escaped detection. At this point, he confirmed what you should’ve kept believing: he would never change his deviant ways and if he could help it, he would continue to lie to you.

At this point, you didn’t feel the need to cry. Something inside you just turned off. The pastries that arrived in your bedroom were left uneaten. The pearls were given away to visiting royals. You would fall asleep early before Ten joined you in the bedroom. You didn’t want to confront Ten about it anymore because there was no point. Once a cheater, always a cheater, you realized. What a fool you’d been.

So what the hell were you doing? Why were you sitting here like a sorry fool waiting for him to change?

You’d received notice that Lucas was returning to Wanderlust for the first few weeks of August. Since Ten would be away on a trip to the western continent, you decided to take another respite to your family cabin. This time, your parents were going, as well.

If Ten was going to put on an act, so would you.

You laid in bed with Ten the night before he parted for the western continent.

“Darling, is there anything I can get you while I’m away? I’ve already accumulated a list but just in case…” He gave you his signature dashing smile as he pulled you closer to him.

He was an excellent actor, you had to say. But thanks to all of this time in the kingdom, you’ve also come into your own when it came to acting. “I can only think of your safe return, husband.” You kissed his lips, hating that he still had an effect on you.

You held each other for the rest of the night and you pretended, once again, that this man was faithful to you so you could sleep more peacefully. The image of seeing Lucas again helped you immensely.

————

[AUGUST 1895]

Upon your arrival to Flame, you immediately found Mint and took her to get to Wanderlust quickly. Much to the chagrin of your parents as they settled in. You didn’t tell them where you went because the less they knew, the better.

Your mother knew, though. She always did.

You could see Lucas standing by the wisteria tree, waiting for you now. You stopped Mint and Lucas already met you halfway. He got you down and before Lucas could speak, you crashed your lips into his.

Lucas was shocked at the intensity of your kiss. Three months apart drove him a little crazy but he didn’t expect this reaction from you.

“Whoa,” Lucas said as he got some air. “Where’s the fire?”

“I missed you,” you said, “I don’t plan to leave your bed for the next week.”

Lucas’ mouth almost fell to the floor. “y/n-“

“I tried, Lucas. I forgave his sorry ass and truly believed he would be faithful to me.”

“No…” He started. “He didn’t…”

“He got orally fucked in OUR library. Who knows what else this monster has been hiding?” You finally yelled out into the field, releasing all of your pent-up emotions. You really missed this field. The last time you visited, you could yell all you wanted without fear of getting judged.

Lucas clenched his fists. How he didn’t kill this man yet, he didn’t know. He took a deep breath. “Did you run away, y/n? What if he’s looking for you now?” He worried about you. Even if Ten was in the wrong, you would be punished more harshly for abandoning the king.

You shook your head. “His Majesty is on his way to the western continent to meet the King of Spades. He won’t be back for two months. A blissful two months it will be. Not to worry. I’ve already informed the palace that I have traveled to Flame with my family.”

Lucas was still concerned. You were acting out of anger. He didn’t want you to regret your actions.

“Let’s go inside and get you something to eat,” he started.

“Your parents fond of hard liquor?” You asked. “Ten never lets me drink without him. It’s annoying.”

“Maybe you should cool down first. Let’s go for a swim,” he offered.

“Is your family home?” You calmed down a little. “I hope I didn’t traumatize them with my yelling.”

Lucas shook his head. “They’ll be home in a few days. They’re visiting my stepfather’s relatives in the next town. I arrived early to surprise them.”

“Oh…” You started.

“So if you were planning on sharing a bed with me, our window is limited,” he teased.

You avoided his gaze, coming down from your anger. “Oh, no...Lucas, I’m so sorry. I came on too strong. I was so mad. I wanted to see you. I-“

Lucas kissed you and picked you up off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck. You both hummed in satisfaction.

“I missed you, too,” Lucas whispered into your ear. He put you over his back and gave you a piggyback ride into the house. You laughed as Lucas ran faster. You held him tighter, afraid you’ll lose your equilibrium and fall. It was like you weighed nothing but he held you tightly. Like you were the most precious jewel in the world.

He took you to the guest room and sat you down on the edge of the bed. This was where Lucas slept whenever he came to visit. You never slept with him in here before.

Lucas stood by the door and watched you.

You stared up at him with your eyes wide in anticipation. “Is this okay?”

Lucas nodded. “Of course, it is.”

You laid back and moved your body so that it was against the headboard. Lucas crawled over you as you moved back. It felt so carnal and wild and set your blood ablaze.

He gave you little love bites all over your breasts as you jerked him off. You then moved your lips downward and took his entire length into your mouth. You moved up and down his length and when Lucas came, you were coated in his essence. After teasing your entrance, making you cum very easily with his skillful fingers, he inserted his soaked length into your throbbing pussy. You both came together.

Lucas made sweet love to you that day. You lied in bed with each other and talked about everything and nothing. What dreams you had. What dreams changed. And you found yourself wondering…

“Do you ever think about running away?” You asked him as you kissed his hands..

”I do sometimes...You?” He pulled you closer to his naked chest.

“Yes...And now I want to more than ever,” you said.

Lucas sighed. “I would give anything to run away with you. Start a new life where no one else knows us. Where neither the Lees or the Parks can find us.”

“That would be a dream come true,” you said.

Lucas kissed the crown of your head. “Maybe we can do it. Someday.”

You nuzzled against his shoulder. “Someday.”

For the next few days, you and Lucas made love in the stream. In the woods where he set up the perfect picnic. In the flower field a few miles up the gravel path. You had never felt more alive than you had with Lucas. He made you feel so safe and worshipped with his presence alone.

When Lucas’ family returned, you both pretended that you had just arrived so his family wouldn’t catch on to your affair. You never spent the night so as not to arouse suspicions from your parents either.

You split up your time between Lucas’ family and your own. You wished your parents could meet his family but you didn’t want to drag them deeper into your mess than you already had.

When it was time to return to the palace, you and Lucas once again parted ways, knowing that you would always have these summer memories.

Upon returning to the castle, you resumed your duties. You also kept an eye out for the maid who was in the library with Ten. The maids weren’t particularly chatty these days after word spread that you found Ten and Jade in the stables. You were still the kind “simpleton” queen but you weren’t as lenient as you used to be.

You continued your studies and addressed the needs of the townspeople. Although you weren’t particularly loved in the castle, the people of the kingdom adored you, regarding you as a breath of fresh air with the warmest heart. A recent poll was publicized that you were the best queen. And unfortunately, some of the townspeople discredited the former Queen.

Which meant she was even more hostile to you whenever you interacted.

“Don’t let a couple of commoners’ approval get to your head. You are still unworthy of your crown, child,” she said bitterly.

You came to realize that she was threatened by you and you decided to embrace it. The former queen’s words always stung but you didn’t carry them with you long after. You had more important matters to attend to.

Since Ten continued to cheat on you and you could only imagine he continued to cheat on you in another continent, you decided to have Lucas send you letters to the palace. You confided in Seulgi to always directly hand you his letters.

The months, sadly, moved too quickly. More of Lucas’ letters arrived but Ten’s return home was confirmed. The ship had departed two days ago from the western continent.

You had mentally prepared yourself for his arrival so as not to arouse suspicion from your husband.

————

[OCTOBER 1895]

When Ten finally returned, though, your mental preparation crumbled.

“Sweetheart,” he laid a bag of scrolls down on the floor at the sight of you receiving him at the palace gates.

The time away did Ten good. His skin was tanner. He looked more vibrant than he ever had. His dark hair was sunkissed, shining a red hue in the sunlight. He probably glowed from all of the western women he slept with, you thought begrudgingly.

Ten pulled you in for a very public and very passionate kiss. In front of the guards. In front of the servants. In front of the parade of townspeople who welcomed him back. In front of his irritable mother.

“Welcome home, darling,” you croaked. He was still an incredible kisser. Your knees betrayed you, causing Ten to chuckle.

He whispered in your ear, “Prepare yourself for tonight, angel. The time apart from you has driven me mad with lust. For. You.”

You gulped. Even though you expected this. You still worried over how the night would go. What if…he could smell Lucas on you? Even if months had passed?

He was a sex fiend and with that kind of identity, he had to pick up on certain things, didn’t he?

Ten walked past you and the female servants that received him all giggled. As he kept walking, they followed him and that’s when you recognized her. Miss Oral.

She had a distinct way of tying her hair up. Her wavy auburn hair was tied up in that same black bow that was permanently painted in your mind. She walked very closely to Ten.

fYou clenched your fists, wondering if he would meet her before your “lustful” evening together. You wouldn’t be surprised if he returned to your bed and claimed he was exhausted. It wouldn’t be the first time. As king, so much was always demanded of him.

So you didn’t stay up for him. You went to sleep quickly. Ten frowned in confusion as he saw you fast asleep.

He left you for a moment. He met up with two of your most loyal servants, Seulgi and Irene, in his study. He polished one of his swords as he conversed with them.

“Any updates from Her Majesty and the bastard?” He asked.

Irene was the first to speak up. “No, Your Majesty. She has not gone to see him since August.”

He then turned to Seulgi. She replied, “They continue to exchange letters, sire. And Hendery was sent to the Park Estate per your request.” Hendery was one of Ten’s closest guards and one of his most lethal men.

Ten was beaming victoriously. “That is all. You are dismissed.”

————

Prince Lucas was summoned to the throne room to attend to a visitor from the Kingdom of Hearts. He wore his crown and a rose gold accented black suit.

He approached the gentlemen in the all-too familiar royal army’s uniform. Hendery.

“Hendery,” Lucas started, “What a pleasant surprise.”

Hendery always hated Lucas and he made Lucas know that since they first met. Lucas was his fiercest rival when they trained together and he despised how favored Lucas was by the former king, simply because he was best friends with the crown prince. And this fool slept with the Queen behind the King’s back. It was disgraceful.

Hendery smiled arrogantly, “Can’t say the same, Your Highness. I’ve been instructed to pass this message along. From His Royal Majesty Ten Lee.”

Lucas figured this had to do with Ten if he was sending his best guard but that didn’t stun him any less. He dreaded to hear the message. “Proceed,” he said with all of the confidence he could muster.

Hendery read aloud, “Prince Lucas of the Park Estate, please refrain from writing letters to the Queen and from seeking audience with the Queen. Or I fancy setting some country homes ablaze so I can establish a new residence in Wanderlust.” Hendery had a wild look on his face at the conclusion of the message.

Lucas stood. Silent. Despondent. Concerned.

Beaming, Hendery asked, “Can I take Your Highness’s panicked look as confirmation that you accept His Majesty’s terms?”

Lucas snapped out of his panic. “Yes, but under the condition that he is true and kind to his wife. Be sure to pass that message along.”

Irritated at Lucas again, Hendery nodded. “Very well, Your Highness.”

Hendery turned to leave, but suddenly turned back, pushing his jacket back to reveal the handle of his sword.

“Oh, Lucas, and one more thing...”

—————

[DECEMBER 1895]

It’d been over two months since you sent Lucas your letter and his response was nowhere to be found. You asked Seulgi for the fifth time today if you’d received any more letters, since Ten had instructed the post office to no longer send any mail for you to your parents house.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” she said, avoiding your gaze. She must have been worried that you would yell at her like Ten usually had.

“It’s alright. Thank you, Seulgi. You are dismissed for the evening,” you said.

Seulgi curtsied and left you. As Seulgi left, Ten entered.

“Good evening, darling. Frantic to receive a letter today?” He asked innocently.

“No, Your Majesty.”

“Your Majesty?” He laughed as he shut the door of your chambers. “We’re behind closed doors, sweetheart.”

You sat at the table beside the balcony window and watched Ten join you. His bare foot tickled yours.

“Are you feeling tired, love?” He asked softly. These days you’ve managed to find more excuses to avoid having sex with him. Especially since you’ve been quietly creeping around the castle to catch Ten in the act again. But you’ve been unsuccessful.

And actually, yes, tracking your husband for his lewd activities was exhausting.

But when he successfully seduced you, he set your progress back. Those nights when he made love to you, you nearly found yourself enamored again. Over and over and over.

But when you woke up alone the next day every time, it was just a reminder of the fact that he hid so much from you. Who he was. What he’s done. Who he’s done it with.

You replied as you laid your right foot over his prominent bulge. So he didn’t sleep with someone else right before he came to see you. How remarkable of him. “You tell me…”

Ten’s indulgent smile appeared and he got up from the table and moved to your side. He hovered over you and bent down to kiss you. You were immediately out of breath and before you could catch it again, he kissed you again. He got you up from your seat and pressed his bulge against your pelvis. Your pussy ached for his cock to greet it.

“Ride me. Right now,” Ten hissed.

You did as instructed, noticing how soaked Ten’s pants were from your essence coated with his. He wasn’t finished as he carried you to the bed and penetrated you without clothes to get in the way. You both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Oh, Ten thought, if you always made love like this, neither of you had to think. Just be in the present with each other. No distractions. No obligations. No former best friends. Just you and him.

Meanwhile, in the back of your mind, you wondered what happened to Lucas and why he wasn’t responding to your letters.

To Be Continued in Part 2

511 notes · View notes

julemmaes · 4 years ago

Note

"OH you are jealous" for nessian please❤️❤️❤️

Jealousy - October 10th

Nesta Archeron x Cassian

A/N: LOOOOVE THIS. Nessian is kinda competing lately for the second place on my top 3 otp (yeah I know what otp means, no need to correct me) and I think by the end of this week they’ll probably get the place yk. Hope you like this and again, sorry if they’re all coming by extremely late, but I have a life;)

Word count: 2,374

Nesta was shouting from the stands while Azriel passed the ball to Cassian and her boyfriend started running to reach the touchdown. Helion and Rhysand were protecting him, tackling and pushing anyone who tried to steal the ball from him. Lucien had entered the field to replace one of the defenders who had been suspended and was now running alongside him.

Halfway through the game, Eris, who was one of the best players on their team despite his bully temper, had seriously injured one of the players from the opposing school and the game had to be interrupted for about twenty minutes.

Nesta and her sisters were shocked to see the injured boy's leg bent into an unnaturally angle and she was so sorry when what must have been his girlfriend ran out onto the field on the verge of tears. The boy's heartbreaking scream had been horrifying and Nesta knew that if anything like that ever happened to Cassian she would beat up whoever tried to hurt him herself.

The opposing school, Adarlan High School, was struggling a bit and Nesta was really sorry that the players couldn't properly focus on the game. She realized on her own that the concern for their friend had to be greater than winning the championship. It was a huge displeasure, also considering that until that moment they had proved to be worthy opponents and that both teams had given a hard time to the other.

Even without Eris, however, their team was doing very well and when Cassian finally reached the extreme in the opponent's part of the field before the last quarter of time ended, the stadium exploded in chaos between screams of joy and chants to exalt the players.

Feyre hugged Nesta with enthusiasm, while they too joined in the chants and the girl managed to see Cassian shouting as he crossed the field and threw himself at his teammates. They all started laughing wildly and when the students began to take to the field to cheer the players and celebrate, Nesta did not hesitate to join the crowd.

She kept her gaze fixed on Cassian, who was getting pats on the back and hugs from everyone as he yelled to his friends how proud he was of them. She saw Tarquin jump on him and throw him on the ground and not a second later, the whole team was throwing itself at him. Nesta burst out laughing, imagining her boyfriend crushed by all those smelly, heavy bodies. Cassian always told her how much he hated that part of the games where everyone was attacking him since he was captain, but she knew how much he really loved his team.

Once on the field, Nesta was scrambling to make her way through the crowd, Elain's hand wrapped around her arm so they wouldn't get lost. The noise was deafening, but she could still hear Feyre loud and clear when she said, "Oh fuck, here they are."

She didn't need to ask who it was, she knew very well that her sister was referring to the cheerleading team.

She saw Amarantha's red hair and Feyre snickering sarcastically when she hugged Rhysand from behind, who stood oblivious to everything while talking animatedly to Helion, "Oh, hell, no."

Elain giggled amusedly when another one of the girls threw herself at Azriel and he jerked aside, looking at the cheerleader confused and stepping away, raising an eyebrow and inspecting the crowd around him. The middle sister didn't even say anything before running towards him.

As soon as Azriel saw her, he opened his arms wide, smiling widely and letting the force of the impact of Elain's body overcome him, throwing them both to the ground. Nesta could not help but smile, seeing them both laughing carefree as they rolled around in the field. She gasped when Thesan threw himself on them and Azriel had to move quickly to avoid him hitting Elain.

Feyre laughed, "Jeez, they are so stupid." then she looked her in the eye, smiling, putting her hand on her arm, "I'm gonna go to Rhys, I'll meet you later." she warned her waving.

Nesta nodded distractedly, focusing her gaze on the people around them, in search of that familiar bun of his. Her stomach twisted when she saw two equally familiar black braids flying in the air. Two braids that she well knew belonged to Emerie.

The girl was hugging Cassian like every time after a victory. Nesta knew full well that Emerie had been Cassian's friend long before she even got to Velaris, and her boyfriend had reassured her several times that there was nothing between him and Emerie, but there was always that bit of doubt in her mind that prevented her from making friends with the girl. That made her wonder if they were not meant to be together. After all, it was not so unusual for the quarterback of the football team to get together with the captain of the cheerleading team.

Everyone was always questioning how Cassian could be with a bitch like Nesta and not with Emerie who had a body to envy even the most beautiful model.

Looking at the three from the outside, you could not understand why the guy had chosen the perfect schoolgirl with a stick up her ass instead of the nice and always available perfect girl next door that everyone would want as a girlfriend.

Cassian seemed to be having so much fun and didn't seem to be looking for her and Nesta, not wanting to bother him and risking to burst that bubble of his, possibly precarious, decided to go back and get on the sidelines, watching him for a while longer. He was smiling so light-heartedly that she couldn't hold back the smile that popped out on her lips shortly after.

Coach Drakon was congratulating the other trainers and when she turned in his direction, only realizing at that moment that she was alone on the sidelines, he smiled at her, apologizing to the coach of the opposing team and going towards her.

Nesta kept her arms crossed at her chest, hoping to look confident, and not indignant and uncertain about what she should do. Hoping not to seem desperate that her boyfriend hadn't even noticed her absence on the field.

Drakon put one arm around her shoulders - just as Cassian held his on Emerie's shoulders and the other tightly around Tarquin's shoulders - looking her in the face with a curious expression, "What are you doing here all grumpy?"

Nesta loved Coach Drakon with all her heart, but sometimes she would have preferred him to mind his own business. When she didn't answer, the man looked at his players, looking at Cassian. He clicked his tongue once, "I see."

Nesta arched an eyebrow, looking at him sideways, "You do?"

Drakon laughed, giving her a quick squeeze on the shoulder and dropping his arm, putting himself in front of her, so as to cover her view of the entire crowd. "You're not as discreet as you think you are, my dear Nesta."

The girl grunted, "I'm not doing anything."

"I can see that for myself." replied the coach, trying to hide a smile, "And that's the problem, don't you think?"

Nesta looked him in the eye, gritting her teeth, "I think Cassian is enjoying the glory of his victory and I don't want to bother him."

"I've known Cassian for four years, darling, and I can assure you that he has never shown an ounce of how he feels for you to that girl over there." he placed his hand on her shoulder again, squeezing, "And as little as I know cheerleaders," he continued, "Emerie is harmless."

Nesta grimaced, "How do you know for sure?"

"Must I remind you who trains them?" he asked her laughing with that deep laugh that made half the teachers in their school drool. She shook her head, knowing full well that Myriam and Drakon had been married for more than ten years and were in charge of cheerleading and football teams respectively.

"Well," he muttered, "because those girls do nothing but gossip during practice, just like my boys, and Myriam and I know exactly who likes who. Trust me when I tell you Emerie is not a threat." Nesta nodded, sighing.

Drakon smiled at her as a father would with his daughter, "And Cassian would never do you such a wrong. That boy loves you too much to disrespect you in like that," he reassured her. She was about to thank him, when a more than familiar voice caught the attention of both of them.

"Coach!" cried Cassian, "Sir, have you seen Nest-" Drakon turned around, revealing Nesta hidden behind him and Cassian's distressed expression shifted. He smiled at her, standing next to the man and then frowned, shifting his gaze between the two of them, "What are you doing here? I've been looking for you for half an hour."

Nesta had to refrain from correcting him. The game was over no more than ten minutes earlier. She shrugged, "I stopped to talk to the coach and didn't want to bother you." she smiled lovingly at him. He reached out his hand to her and Nesta took it without hesitation, letting herself be pulled against his chest.

Cassian was looking closely at her face and Nesta closed her eyes when he pressed his hand to her cheek, "Are you sure? Everything okay?" he muttered when she opened her eyes again, looking at him in turn. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him, nodding slowly.

Drakon cleared his voice, congratulating Cassian and telling him that they would talk later in the locker room about what happened with Eris and the other player.

Cassian didn't even look at him, too focused on Nesta's face, looking for something that would make him understand what the problem was, but he answered affirmatively, assuring him that he would go to the opposing team to apologize for his teammate's unsporting attitude.

As soon as the man was gone, Nesta smiled sincerely, bending her head back, inviting him to kiss her. Cassian, however, did not seem inclined to accept her invitation, "What's going on, sweetheart?"

When Cassian called her sweetheart, the tone in which he uttered it, said a lot about his state of mind and from the way he had just said it, Nesta knew that he was really worried, so she chuckled, stroking his back and stopping immediately under his shoulder blades, where the shoulder protection started, "Nothing is going on, Cass, don't worry."

"So you're telling me that I found you on the sidelines talking all serious to my coach after we won the most important game of the championship instead of with my friends and with me because nothing is upsetting you?" he asked her, arching an eyebrow. Nesta freed herself from his grip, sliding a thumb over the wrinkles on his forehead. His expression relaxed for a moment before it grew hard again.

Nesta sighed, "I saw you with Tarquin and Helion and..." she mumbled, without meeting his eyes, "And Emerie and I didn-".

Cassian interrupted her, "Oh." he made a surprised face, then tilted his head back, bursting out laughing. Nesta was startled, "What is it?"

When he stopped laughing, he looked at her much more relaxed than a few seconds earlier and had that cocky smile on his lips. He leaned forward over her, taking her lips with his own, kissing her passionately. When Cassian's tongue caressed her lower lip, Nesta let go a breath out of her nose and opened her mouth slightly, letting him in.

Cassian's hands slid down and he bent down even more, grabbing her under the thighs and pulling her up so that she tied her legs around his hips. Her arms instead tied around his neck and her hands ended up in his sweaty hair, now left loose on his shoulders.

When Nesta ran out of breath she broke off and Cassian went after her, trying to catch her mouth with his own. She laughed, bringing her hand to his lips, pushing him back.

Cassian smiled at her, squinting, "So you are jealous."

Nesta closed her eyes, grimacing, "Don't say it like that."

"Like what?" he asked, sniggering and making them both tremble. One of the hands clasped around her thighs gave a light squeeze.

Nesta leaned her forehead against one of his shoulders, "As if it were something to be proud of." she complained. She settled her head better, so that it was placed between his neck and shoulder. Cassian held her tighter, kissing her ear.

"Yeah, sorry," he told her amusedly, "But it makes me laugh."

"And why should my insecurities make you laugh?" she asked, only slightly offended. She pulled herself up, looking him in the eye. She found a spark of love there that warmed her chest.

Cassian gave her a quick peck on the lips, "Because I love you so much that I don't even see the other girls and you feel threatened by Emerie," he chuckled, glancing across the field, "Emerie who's clearly been trying to get Tarquin in her bed for months now."

Nesta shifted her gaze to the crowd of students and the second Cassian put her down so he could turn around too, Emerie jumped forward, grabbing Tarquin by the shoulders and pulling him towards her.

Nesta gasped, "Oh, wow."

"About time!" Cassian shouted, loud enough for his friend to hear. Emerie raised a middle finger in their direction, but the gesture was soon pulled back when Tarquin grabbed her face in his hands and the kiss grew more passionate. Their teammates were cheering them on, jumping on each other.

Cassian turned towards her, holding her hand, and began to walk towards his brothers. He was stroking the back of her hand with one thumb and each caress was a burst of energy for her. When he bent over her, bringing his mouth closer to her ear, Nesta had to suppress the chills.

"See? I'm all yours." he looked at her with glistening eyes of emotion and Nesta felt every worry slip over her.

All hers.

acotar tag list (dm me or send me an ask if you want to be added/removed)

@tottenhamboys20 @sjm-things @kris10maas @awesomelena555 @sannelovesreading @queenamydien29 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @messyhairday-me @ncssian @observationanxioustheorist @my-fan-side @booksstorm @maastrash @sayosdreams @thedarkdemigod @courtofjurdan @thewayshedreamed @ladywitchling @nahthanks @archeron-queen

176 notes · View notes

boop-le-snoot · 4 years ago

Text

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 7

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. There is violence in this chapter.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: *chants* BRUCE FLUFF BRUCE FLUFF BRUCE FLUFF. *sings* they're ain't no big thing just show them a little swing. Beneficial Cucumber. Author's notes are spoilers without context at this point... Y'all-

My beta, @miscmarvelwritings . We make the best duo. I am her dumb of ass and she is my gay. I love her.

Tony was elbow-deep in a robot when I came out of the elevator, Peter holding up the spare part needed, hovering next to the engineer. Without preamble, I was directed to help and dutifully fulfilled Tony's requests. Nothing indicated that my evening stunt ever happened besides Pete's faint blush; I might as well have written it off to the tank top hugging the upper part of my body in all the right places.

I was disappointed, I won't lie to myself - I expected Tony to tease me at least a little bit, snark something vaguely lewd and move on. But the engineer was quiet today, eerily so, almost to the point where it seemed he was ignoring me on purpose. My pride didn't let me begin any of our usual banter so I frowned in silence, making the appearance of a very focused person. Bolts and screws - most interesting things in the world!

As usual, I clocked out first around eleven thirty, leaving Pete and Tony some time to discuss their secret science stuff. Usually I would be exhausted by this point which left little to no room for jealousy but that night, emotions hit me like a freight train and it took me every ounce of my willpower to head out to Bruce's for the inevitable "I'm disappointed in you/Fuck safely" round of brainwashing.

My brain kept returning to the downwards tilt of Tony's mouth and the somber mood around him. I hated seeing him so...unhappy and tense.

The moment I set step in Bruce's lab, I saw the man's back hunched over a tube, I felt the same energy coming from him. What a fucking day! The sigh that left my mouth was resigned. "Bruce?"

A couple of seconds passed before he turned. He attempted a smile but it didn't reach his eyes at all. "Hi, Princess."

I cocked my head in defeat. "If this is the part where you lecture me, let's get over it. Or even better, you say nothing and we carry on," I pursed my lips, inspecting my nails in favour of actually facing the scientist.

I heard the click-clack of his instruments being placed on the table and the soft taps of his shoes against the tiled floor. His arms reached around my shoulders before I could even attempt to pull away, one of his broad palms tucking my face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm not mad, baby girl," He told me quietly.

I felt some of the tension dissipate, wrapped my arms around him, coming to a realization the man was all but melting into me.

"Just stay safe, alright? I don't want you to get hurt," With the same quiet tone, Bruce gently shushed my worries away. "If something is wrong, you can come to me. You know that, right?" He sounded painfully hopeful as he withdrew just enough to capture my face in his hands, forcing me to look him in the eye.

Something about the look in his eyes made my heart ache. I didn't have the heart to refuse, nor did I want to, so I nodded. Promptly, I was embraced yet again, his lips resting on the crown of my head, both of us swaying gently.

I've never wanted to cry so badly in my entire life.

"I'm a fuckin' mess, Bwucie, you haven't got a clue what you've gotten yourself into," I settled for a round of self-deprication instead. Bitter as it was, it was the barenaked truth.

"Then you're a beautiful mess," I could feel the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. So I smiled, too, obscured by his lab coat.

As much as I didn't want to leave the embrace, like, ever, I had to get home before one o'clock - before mother went to bed, zonked out on Valium and Ambien from the endless supply closet courtesy of my dad. "M'hafta go home," I mumbled.

Bruce sighed deeply. "I'll grab one of Tony's cars and drive you," He went over to remove his lab coat as I gaped. "I'm a forty-five year old man, I can drive." He chuckled humorlessly.

"Tony won't mind?" I asked the first question that popped into my mind to attempt dispelling the awkward moment.

"Trust me, he won't mind at all," Bruce mumbled darkly. I wondered what's up with that but the immediate future for me was already planned out: I was really looking forward to going home, crawling into bed with my clothes on and having a good old fashioned cry.

We made quick work of locating a set of keys and peeling out of the garage in Tony's shiny Audi R8, tires squealing on the wet pavement. It had stopped raining sometime during my robot building but the city was still filled with puddles. I could smell the moist, decaying leaves through the tiny gap of the window, the city was drowning in autumn like I was drowning in my own cluelessness.

The adrenaline rush, the weight of Tony's foul mood, the grief and pleading that radiated off Bruce mixed into a horrendous cocktail of misery and pain. Too much pain for my little, weak, dumb heart to handle. And all these people out in the streets, dressed to the nines despite the disgusting weather - laughing, hugging and drunkenly giggling, it was like salt on my wounds, rubbing it in how much of a good time they were having.

"This your house?" Bruce pointed at the black, high gate of the entrance to my garage.

"Yeah, it's a bit much," I nodded absentmindedly, seeing Bruce's eyes bulge at the sheer size of my estate. My mother wouldn't settle for any less than the best so having a monstrously huge (for NYC) home was what she got. Dad just signed the checks.

Bruce hummed.

I made a face, reaching for his warm hand and giving it a squeeze. "Thanks, Bwucie," Smiling at him, I used up the last of my good mood to show the gratitude he deserved.

He pulled me into a tight hug right over the middle console. It wasn't comfortable by any means with the numerous buttons and switches poking at the soft of my stomach but there was nowhere else I'd rather be than in his arms during that moment. The breaths that left me felt like they were punched out of my chest cavity by steel-toed boots.

"Good night, Princess. Sweet dreams." He kissed my cheek, lingering just a tiny bit.

I did the same, rubbing softly against his stubble and giggling at the ticklish sensation. "Night night, Bwucie."

I waved at him again as I unlocked my front gates and watched him speed off from behind it, obscured by the shadows of the decorative trees growing right behind the fence.

Bruce's face had morphed into something akin to torment or suffering the moment I disappeared from his immediate eyesight and it baffled me to no extent. I ransacked my brain left and right, searching for a reason I might have inadvertently caused him to feel that way but found none. The only logical reason was that he was just lonely. He didn't have many friends from what I gathered and if judging by the proud tone in which he spoke of Will-Mr Davies today, he desperately needed some other company than his teammates. I wish I could have helped.

Mother was nowhere to be seen when I entered the house so a beeline for my bed was successful. The ugly, loud, dry-heaving sobs weren't in any shape or form attractive or acceptable to show to anybody but me so when they forced their way out of me, the pillow keeping me company. I cried as for everything that was happening to me as much as I sobbed because of the self-pity I was indulging in.

It was pathetic, really. My mother would scoff and my father... Well, he'd offer me to 'cheer up, throw a party, do normal teenager stuff'. The bottle of wine I kept in my closet was empty in no time: I justified that as a single lady in a big city, I was entitled to relax once in a while.

Who was I lying to? I downed a bottle in twenty minutes just so I could fall asleep and begone from all this bullshit for a while.

On Monday, I anonymously submitted the documents pertaining to Thompson's behaviour to the school board and to a local newspaper that was known to dabble in socialite gossip. Next day, an investigation was promptly launched and important-looking people started to appear in the hallways, going in and out of the principal's office. Flash was pulled out of class by two police officers: at this point, half the student population was unashamedly filming it on their smartphones, me included. With grim satisfaction, I sent the video directly to the group chat with an added message of "so long, fucker".

Steve didn't even remark on my profanity, just sent a thumbs up.

It really fuckin' blew up the next morning. The news was plastered across every paper, every social media site - "Midtown Principal's son arrested for grand theft auto and assault", "Midtown Principal Being Investigated for obstruction of education" and other ridiculous headlines that had me, Bucky and Natasha in shit-fits.

Flash returned to school on Wednesday accessorized with a pretty ankle monitor and a sullen frown. During lunch, he sat only with two of his closest minions instead of the chatty group he was usually seen with. Everybody avoided him like the bubonic plague, even teachers ignored him.

With the final bell, me and Pete went on to look for Happy outside the school territory.

I was spending nearly every evening at the tower either in Tony's or Bruce's lab or sandwiched between Wanda and Bucky on the couch, gossiping while TV shows mutely played in the background. I had found a second friend in the face of Winter Soldier who, much like me, spent a lot of his days occupied by the internet or in a general state of confusion. Bucky was charming, funny and very flamboyant. I enjoyed the no-nonsense attitude and zero fucks that he gave the world in general.

The moment I stepped on the other side of the gate, I immediately knew something was wrong. Peter squirmed uncomfortably beside me, looking frantically in every direction, trying to spot Happy's car in vain.

"Ay, Parker," The familiar obnoxious voice of Peter's bully reached our ears. "You wanna tell me how you got your grubby little hands on that file?"

Thompson had brought back up with him, the idiot that he was. He was standing off to the side, leaning against the fence while five older boys surrounded us in a tight circle.

"Leave us alone, Flash, you're already in trouble," Peter tried reasoning with the bully meanwhile I... I was searching for a cleaner, dryer spot to dump my $1500 bag onto in preparation for the inevitable. I was no stranger to swinging my arm - as a frequent house party guest, I've had to fend off enough unwelcome advances. I've been told I have a mean, mean right hook.

"Bold of you to assume Peter would actually steal something," I stated in a bored tone once my bag was out of the way and Pete was standing securely behind me. I wasn't afraid of Flash, mostly because I knew he'd step back for the fear of retaliation from my family was usually too much.

"Oh, look at that, the weirdo is talking," Thompson mocked, getting up and standing right in front of my face. "You know, I don't get why the likes of you have to go to school with us, normal people. See, Peter here might be a little wimp but at least he won't shoot up the whole school one day because his daddy didn't love him enough," Thompson decided to test his luck. To finish his epic tirade with a flourish, he spat on the ground next to me.

I snorted. "Wow, that's an awful lot of smart words for someone as dumb as a doorknob," I shook my head in disdain. "Look, either you go now or I'll sue you so far up your ass, you'll be sucking dick in prison just to get something to fill your stomach with." And wow, that comeback was really, really good. I was proud of myself.

I saw pure rage mar Thompson's already ugly face into something demonic and ducked at the last moment, feeling the blunt sting of his knuckles connect with my left cheekbone. Reflectively I swung, too, decking him straight in the nose with all the rage and despair that was burning deeply inside of me at that time.

I heard gasps all around me as the students whispered, shouted and cheered at Thompson's confused form hitting the ground. He held his face and his palms were stained a deep crimson; I felt something warm on my face, copper in my mouth.

"Does anybody want some of that, too?" My tone was icy. I shrugged off the hand that landed on my shoulder, glaring down one of the boys who came with Thompson.

"Shit, cops, RUN!" One of the students suddenly shouted and just like that, both me and Flash were surrounded only by a handful of students who had filmed the entire incident on camera. God bless technology!

"Uh, I think you're bleeding," Pete timidly remarked from behind me, hand still awkwardly outstretched towards me. He cast a guilty look to the side where Happy was running towards us, phone held to his ear, no doubt already on the line with Tony and the rest of the Avengers. Shit, fuck, SHIT. I didn't plan for this!

The police officers called an ambulance for Flash and took my statement while I was holding my bleeding nose up to the sky, much to the officer's dismay. Happy had passed the officer his mobile phone and I briefly heard Tony's voice saying that I will be taken care of in the tower's medical suite - and let's face it, no cop will go against Iron Man's charm and wit.

As an eighteen year old, I could refuse the on-site medical assistance that the city provided and my parents weren't required so I was let go after my statement was taken and my injuries photographed.

Not that the photoshoot really was required. Multiple people had the incident on video, from multiple angles. It was an open and close case. I called my mother in the elevator (she didn't answer) and left her a voice message with the bare facts of the situation and my current whereabouts.

Seeing the whole team assembled in the living room, some nervously twitching, some anxiously pacing, I couldn't help but let out a slightly hysterical giggle. "Oh my god, guys, I'm not in a coma, stop acting like I'm in a coma!"

Bucky was the first to approach me, carefully hugging me and steering me towards Bruce. He looked a bit rough, green-ish? I guess. But the first aid kit was already on the table and Stephen Strange was hovering nearby.

"You decked the sucker real good, doll," Bucky's Brooklyn accent made his speech less intelligible but he definitely got all the cookie points for the heat and the passion.

"Ditto. Should've kicked him in the balls, too," Natasha smirked and Steve mirrored her smirk with a darker twist.

"I'm going to sue him so darn far up his ass," Tony seethed, looking absolutely livid.

"Don't worry, mother's got it handled," I obediently laid down on the couch, staring up at Bruce's wide eyes and Stephen's focused face.

"You are fearless and fierce, dear lady," Thor boomed from somewhere.

All of this was making me... Emotional. I just punched a piece of human garbage, it was not a big deal, okay? He had it coming. I chuckled uncomfortably, wincing when Bruce began dabbing at the dried blood on my face with a piece of gauze soaked in alcohol. "Petey, you alright?" I asked, worried about the sudden onset of silence from the usually chatty boy. He mumbled something. "Speak up, I can't hear shit with all the ringing in my ears."

That earned me a worried look from doctor Strange and a frown from Bruce.

"I should've protected you-I mean-it's not that you can't do it yourself, or because you're a girl, it's just-I," he suddenly stopped.

"Go ahead, kid," Tony urged him with unmistakable kindness in his voice.

"You see, I'm-I'm actually Spider-Man and I'm afraid to accidentally kill someone, 'cause I'm really strong." Pete blurted out.

I had to replay his words several times in my head to get to the gist of what he was actually saying. Shy little Peter? Spider-Man? So that's why he was such a fucking pacifist? I mean, it made perfect sense if he really was strong enough to lift cars and hold together collapsing bridges like I'd seen on YouTube.

"Huh," I stated after a brief pause. "I guess I did double the work today, dumped out some trash and prevented a potential murder. I'm on a roll and I deserve chocolate cake," I rambled to distract myself from the incoming dull headache and the sting of the alcohol against the split skin of my cheek.

Strange chuckled, looking, possibly, the happiest I've ever seen him. Bruce giggled too. A tiny bit.

"Friday, order the biggest, most expensive chocolate cake that can be delivered in... Two hours," Tony immediately spoke up.

"Cake," I mumbled happily, a strange drowsiness overcoming me, making my eyelids droop. "Hey-mmm, doc?" I slurred, seeing Stephen's face fall. "M'think m'concussed, f'king 'ell!" The snort that left his mouth was absolutely hilarious; I started giggling, too, startling Banner into action.

He picked up his phone, saying something I didn't understand at all.

"Y'kno," I had this totally bright idea I absolutely NEEDED to share with everyone. "Y'kinda look like the guy... Wha's'is name... Bendy-snap Crum-ble-sticks? No, wait," Snorts and giggles began to resonate through the room as the amount of Doctor Stranges suddenly multiplied by two. He was a WIZARD, that was so cool! "I think... Mmm, yes... Benadryl-Claritin? No-no-no, 'das meds," Woah, a lot of people were there and they were suddenly all laughing. I wondered what was so funny. It was hard to think with so many people laughing; my temples were pulsating uncomfortably. "Wait, I know, I know!" There were wheezing noises now, noises that distinctively reminded me of Tony and Wanda and Bucky. "Bubble-butt Coitus-snack!" I triumphantly exclaimed, finally happy to have gotten it right.

The laughter turned into truly demonic cackling, surrounding me, they were so loud I almost managed to get fully afraid. And then, I passed the fuck out.

TAGLIST IS OPEN Y'ALL.

@another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x reader #Bruce Banner fluff #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x you #Stephen Strange x y/n #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #bun writes #party favours #IN THIS HOUSE WE PROTECT PETER PARKER WITH OUR LIVES AND FACES

155 notes · View notes

cherriesfineline · 4 years ago

Text

MEET HALFWAY OUR NEEDS - one shot

a/n: hi! this is my first time ever posting one of my writings online (I'm about to shit myself but oh well). I literally wrote this so fast I'm impressed, but anyways I (kind of) proof read this -not really- just quickly read through it after I finished it. English isn't my first language (I'm so self conscious I'm probably gonna say that every time I post something) but besides that, I really hope you enjoy this <3 feedback is truly appreciated, it helps me improve!

-Joey

Pairing: Harry x Y/N

Warnings: detailed sexual content

Word count: 9.2k (of mostly smut??? sorry)

the one where Harry wants to get married but Y/N doesn't.

As you grow older, you start realizing life isn't as easy as it seemed when you were a kid. Not everyone gets lucky enough to have a job they're passionate about. Not everyone can satisfy all their necessities. In fact, you realize it's most people instead of "not everyone". Friendships and relationships won't last you a lifetime (those promises of being there for each other forever now seem like genuine naiveness) if you don't put enough effort in them. When you are young you believe that being able to play for hours straight without getting bored is what true friendship is about. And maybe it is, during those years. Adult relationships require a lot of time, and effort. And sometimes, sacrifice. Conversations have a different weight, and being able to trust someone with your most uneasy thoughts and experiences is hard. To find and to keep. When it comes to love, you start realizing that the thrill and intensity of teen romance isn't what true love is about. It's not about getting into fights, hardcore jealousy and toxicity behaviors. It's about being able to just be there, with that someone. Being able to coexist in each other's worlds, share what you're passionate about without any fear or remorse, being able to communicate. To ask for help when needed. Now, that doesn't mean things can't get complicated. For the past two months, Y/N and Harry's relationship has been balancing on a very, extremely, thin line. After six years of being together, and three of those living together, being the happiest they've ever been, everything started to look different for Harry. He was ready to take a step Y/N wasn't. Harry always knew he wanted to get married, have kids, move to a pretty house outside New York (it's been his favorite city ever since he visited when he was 12, then moving all the way across the globe from Manchester to attend Columbia University). And when he met Y/N, he knew she was the one he wanted all that with. But Y/N... she wasn't so sure that was the life she wanted. Having kids was a no at least until she was in her 30's. And even then, she knew she'd have to re consider if that's what she really wanted. She loves kids, she has a couple nieces a nephew's (coming from a big family has it's perks) and she's a preschool teacher. She's good with kids, but she wasn't so sure she'd be a great mother. Not for a specific reason, but she really feels like that's the case. Taking care of someone else's kids versus your own is extremely different. Now... it gets even more complicated when it comes to marriage. She doesn't believe that a piece of paper kept in a legal's office will make any changes in their relationship. It will all stay the same, married or not, so she just doesn't think it's important, nor worth the money. Harry, on the other hand, thinks marrying her will change everything in his life. For the better. He loves her more than he'll ever be able to put into words. And because he can't put it into words, he feels like it's the actions, small and big, that help him communicate his love a bit better. He still remembers the moment he mentioned marriage to her (not for the first time, but definitely the first time he actually thought 'ok i really want to marry her right now') like it happened yesterday. He remembers exactly what it felt like to physically feel his heart shatter inside his chest, and the way he silently cried himself to sleep that night with Y/N in his arms. "Would you ever, uh... consider g-getting married? like, I don't know, if we ever have, like, an actual conversation about it, would you consider it?" He asked her in the middle of their Lord of the Rings marathon. Harry could feel her intense staring at the side of his face. She was quiet for so long, it killed him. He truly wanted the cushions of their pink couch to just suck him inside the furniture piece. He wouldn't dare to turn his face. He couldn't look at her, no. Not to face the rejection of his lifetime. "Uh, I don't think so." She said, and Harry only nodded, thinking the conversation was over

once he felt her move her head to face the television again. "You know how I feel about you and how I feel about marriage. I honestly think it's useless. You don't need a signed paper to know how much I love you, Harry." Her tone was soft, but the words that left her mouth felt like a million knives inside his chest. That conversation sent him spiraling over a thousand thoughts, overthinking their entire relationship and how he now felt like they were getting nowhere with it. He respected her decision, though. That's why he didn't bring it up again. Y/N sensed his mood change that same night. She kept her mouth shut, because she truly didn't know what to say. She didn't understand where he was coming from, or why it was so important to him. At first, she didn't think his mood was affected because of her not wanting to get married, maybe he had something else going on and was struggling to talk about it, but after many sessions with her therapist going over and over their conversations and trying to decipher why everything was so weird between them, she came to the conclusion it might have to do with them not getting married. She just didn't want it. And she didn't know how to make him understand. But she couldn't lose him either. He was her everything. It took her months to be able to sit next to him like she did the night he was watching The Little Mermaid in the living room of their small New York apartment. It's been months since they last shared a movie night, or a date. They've been eating dinner while having awkward small talk about their jobs and friends, going straight to bed after cleaning everything up, each to their side. They haven't touched each other except the occasional greeting peck ever since that night. And it was killing both of them, but neither knew how to approach the other. As she sat down to his right, she saw him tense immediately. It broke her, to see him so on guard around her. Y/N couldn't look away from him, with her body facing him and her head rested on the back of the couch, she wanted to grab his hand so badly, but she didn't know if he'd reject her. The doorbell rang, and he looked at her for the first time that night. His eyebrows had the cutest frown and she wanted to kiss his forehead to make him relax, but of course, she didn't. She sent him a shy smile and stood up, going straight to the door and picking up the cash she left prepared on the little table next to it. She could feel his stare burning holes in her back, which sent chills down her spine. "Thank you so much." Harry heard Y/N say, immediately hearing the door shut. From where he was sitting he didn't have a clear view on who was on the other side of the door. Y/N made her way to their kitchen (to do God knows what, Harry thought) only to appear seconds after with two tubes of ice cream (from his favorite place) and two big spoons. She sat back down next to him with her legs under her, a little closer than moments ago but still out of Harry's reach. She handed him one of the tubes, and Harry immediately noticed it was chocolate chip mint, his favorite, he might add. He looked up at her, who gave him a small shrug of her shoulders and a side smile, and he couldn't help but smile widely at her, his deep dimples on full display. God, I missed those dimples so bad. Y/N thought. But what she didn't know is that Harry was thinking about how much he missed her. Entirely. He hated himself for overthinking every small detail, and for thinking so lowly of their future. But he couldn't help it. "Thanks." He shyly took the ice cream and started eating right away. Not five minutes later, he grabbed her by her thigh and dragged her next to him, only to have her close to his body. And because he missed her. And her body heat. And her addictive smell of clean soap and vanilla. And a lot of other things which would take a lifetime to enumerate. She looked at him from her new spot, and due to the proximity, she had to shift her head slightly up to look at his face. She slid her right arm around his left,

carefully looking at him to see any kind of reaction that might show discomfort, and when she noticed his smirk slowly and barely making an appearance, she relaxed next to him, fitting half of her body under his arm, with his elbow resting on her stomach and her head on his upper arm. Half way through the movie, with their ice cream tubes forgotten on their coffee table, Y/N looked back up to him, and even though she's been doing it every two minutes, Harry knew she wanted to say something this time. He doesn't look at her, though, thinking it might shy her away, but right when he was trying to concentrate back on the film, he heard her say something. It was barely audible, almost like she didn't want him to hear it. Did he imagine it? Maybe he's so deprived from her and her touch and her words that he's finally going insane. Harry looked at her this time, and looking straight at her grey eyes so closely for the first time in two months felt like a thousand fireworks exploding violently on his stomach. "Did you say something?" He looked at her confused, and the look on her eyes is so hard to decipher he thinks she definitely said something she's scared to repeat. "I miss you." Y/N repeated herself, barely louder. But then he knew for sure he didn't imagine it. His Y/N missed him. For so long Harry thought he was losing her, that after distancing himself from her she finally realized she not only didn't want marriage, but a relationship with him at all. But she missed him. And he missed her. "You miss me?" He asked, almost like he didn't believe her, his tone was low and his voice sounded deeper that ever. Y/N nodded, but she felt pathetic. She felt like he didn't miss her like she missed him, maybe he didn't miss her at all. For two months she's been feeling like he wanted out, that this relationship felt like an obligation to him. Harry felt her slowly sliding away from his arms, and that's when he realized he's been so stuck in his head he still hadn't replied. "Don't," he quickly grabbed her by her thigh with his hand closest to her body "please, don't go." She stayed still in her place, looking at him with soft but sad eyes. "I miss you so much, Y/N." Harry turned on his spot so he's facing her, and softly cupped her jaw with his free hand, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "You have no idea." He whispered, slowly getting her face close to his while closing his eyes. He kissed her forehead so lovingly she literally burst into tears. Y/N's soft sobs alarmed Harry, lifting her head up by his hold on her jaw. "Please, don't cry baby. It breaks me when you cry." Y/N shifted on her place so she was with her body facing the back of the couch, her knees pressed against it, but she tilted her body to the side so she could hug Harry. She slowly draped her arms around his torso, resting her head on his chest. A sigh of relief left Harry's lips, resting his chin on top of her head while he hugged her back. One of his arms was resting low on her back, while the other one rested on her shoulder, his giant hand cupping her head to softly caress her hair. They stayed in that position for a long time. Y/N could feel Harry's heartbeat, and how it slowly picked up speed when she pressed her lips to his chest. And even though he was wearing a shirt, Harry could feel the heat of her lips through it. He pressed his own lips on top of her head, leaving them there for a while, almost like a very long, still kiss, until he felt her head shift underneath his lips. He pulled away just barely to allow her to look up at him, and when she noticed him quickly looking down to her lips, she stretched her neck up to press their lips together. It was a short, very sweet kiss. With fear as an undertaste and nervousness written all over her. She was just scared he was going to leave. When she pulled away from him, she didn't have time to open her eyes as she felt Harry press their lips together again. This second kiss was almost the same as the first one, insecure. It's funny, if you think about it. How similar their

feelings were and how scared they were of messing everything up with a single wrong move. Once Harry pulled away from the kiss he initiated, they locked eyes, yet again. But this time, it was written all over their faces how badly they missed each other, and how much they dreaded to feel the effects each had on one another after so long. The third kiss they shared, it's initiated from both sides, almost as they were able to read each other's minds. Their lips moved in sync, and as Harry softly captured Y/N's bottom lip between his own to slightly suck on it, she put more pressure into it. The kiss slowly started to gain force, passion and need. But she was scared to take the next step. She wanted him to take the full lead, as opposed to what they were used to, just because she didn't want him to feel like he owed her anything. And then, he did take that step. The hand he had holding her jaw moved under her hair to grab her by the neck, while slowly tracing her bottom lip with his tongue, asking for access to her mouth. And once she allowed their tongues to meet, his hold on her lower back got stronger, draping his arm completely around her waist to pull her closer. That action made Y/N's body lift up from how strong he was holding her, and she took this as a sign to move. She straddled him on the couch, sinking (almost on slow motion) to sit on top of his thighs. Harry groaned in frustration. She's too far away, he thought. "Closer." He said in a pleading tone, and Y/N complied immediately. She slid her body up his thighs, and he forced her chest to collide with his. The hand that was holding her neck slowly traced her entire spine, to join his other one on her lower back. Her tongue felt so warm and soft, so inviting. He had always loved the way she kissed him, with so much passion but with a gentleness that was so her. She managed to fully relax in his hold once her hands found their way to his hair, right behind his ears, and he couldn't help but whimper at the feeling of their groins pressing together. This sparked a burning fire inside both of them. A fire that burned so good they'd rather die caught on it, than to never feel it again. Harry slowly slid his hands up and down her sides, all the way from her outer thighs to her side boobs. And when he did it for the second time, on his way up he slid his hands under her shirt instead of continuing their path over it. When his hands stopped at the higher part of their path, he caressed her side boobs with his thumbs, doing the same afterwards right below them, and when she finally grinded down on him, letting a deep groan leave her lips, he cupped her breasts with his hands. But when she pulled away, he dropped his hands automatically.He started eating his brains out thinking he really messed up, he was taking things down a road she didn't want to take yet, which was okay, it's not like he only wanted her body back, but he was scared he made her uncomfortable. Only then, his dick grew incredibly hard when she grabbed the hem of her oversized t-shirt to pull it up and off her body. Her perfectly perky boobs bounced slightly when Y/N dropped her shirt on the floor, resting her arms on her sides. He looked up from the lovely sight of her boobs thinking about how badly he wanted to devour them, only to find her with an uncertain look on her face. And he hated it. He hated the thought of her doubting herself so much. Harry ran his hands up and down her soft stomach, and then slid them up, softly but barely touching her boobs. His destination was somewhere else (for now), and he grabbed Y/N by her neck to pull her close. Their lips met again in the softest kiss they shared that night so far, and Y/N melted in Harry's arms like the forgotten ice cream behind her. He kissed the corner of her lips as he pulled her hair slightly so he could start kissing her jawline, down to her neck, leaving pepper kisses all over her skin. When he reached her collarbone he started sucking and biting (she loved when he bit her) knowing he couldn't do it to her neck

due to her job. She let a moan leave her lips, and when Harry slid one of his hands to grab her by her hip, she grinded down on him again, with more confidence this time. Harry lowered his face a bit more so he could finally reach one of his favorite features of his Y/N, her boobs. He took her left breast in his mouth, sucking on Y/N's nipple, making her whimper and jerk forward, tightening her hold on his brown locks to pull him even closer. He slid the hand that was holding Y/N's hair down so he could pay attention to both nipples at the same time, while using his hand on her hip to keep a steady peace to her grinding. Once she caught up with the slow but rough peace he wanted, he let go of Y/N's hip to grab the nipple he had in his mouth with in his hand, and he pinched both of them at the same time, rolling the hard buds on his fingers, then moving his mouth to the other one. He spent a lot of time paying attention to Y/N's nipples, nibbling, sucking, groping, knowing damn well they were extremely sensitive (she could orgasm just by nipple stimulation if done correctly, but she really wanted him right now). Y/N pulled from his hair enough to let him know she wanted something else, and when he let her nipple fall from his mouth, he looked straight into her eyes. Harry's cheeks were tinted a pretty shade of pink, and Y/N couldn't help but admire the beautiful man under her. He looked at her with such pure eyes, but lustful at the same time. She didn't understand how he could look so innocent but so fucking hot at the same time, it was unfair how angelic he was. She grabbed a handful of his shirt, to let him know she wanted it off. Once Harry complied, throwing his shirt somewhere near Y/N's, he immediately reached for her cream silk shorts, tugging the elastic band down as a silent plea for her to get out of them for him. She stood up from the couch, knowing Harry loved when she undressed herself for him, and still in between his legs holding eye contact, she slowly slid her shorts down her thighs along with her underwear. Harry couldn't keep eye contact for long, though. His eyes were glued to her glistening core that was slowly making an appearance, and he was getting frustrated at how slow she was being. He sat straighter on the couch so he could reach for her, and slid his hands down the front of her thighs, and on their way up he slowly slid them to their insides, getting close to where she wanted him. He slid one of his hands down again, but this time he grabbed her right leg from behind her knee, to pull it up. He made her rest her feet outside his thigh, which was now in between her legs. In this new position he got a clear view of her pretty pussy, all on display for him. "So wet, baby." He whispered, and she couldn't help but return her hold on his hair to pull him closer to her. "All for me?" Harry asked her, looking up to stare at her right in the eyes. When she nodded, he hummed in response. "Let me take care of you, it's been so long. You probably need it so much, don't you?" His voice was so fucking deep and raspy she nodded desperately in response. Y/N couldn't handle much teasing, and she let Harry know by tightening her grip yet again, and forcing his face to be so close she could feel his breathing on her. "Please, Harry." She pleaded. Harry loved teasing her, but he knew it's been a long time, he didn't want to frustrate her much. He finally licked very slowly up her folds, all the way from her opening to her clit, humming when he reached her sensitive bundle of nerves. Y/N let out a long sigh of pleasure, her eyelids fluttering shut. She felt like she could literally come just by that, and when he closed his lips around her clit, she grind her hips against his lips. He started switching between sucking and pressing his tongue on her clit until he started to move it, creating undefined figures with the tip of his tongue. They missed each other so much, so so much. And they both knew sex wouldn't magically fix everything. They knew they needed to work things out. But

sometimes conversation needs a little push, something to remind them why they need to fix things. The magnetic pull they felt towards each other was unbearably strong. They needed each other, in every imaginable way, but at that moment, they needed each other's bodies and emotion, no words needed. Just feel each other close. Harry gave her clit a sweet kiss, and looked up at her while his fingers traveled up and down her folds, until they found their home in her opening. He searched her eyes for approval, and when she whispered a soft 'please' he slowly sank his ring and middle finger, knuckle deep. She whimpered loud at the sudden pressure, and he groaned at the tightness of her hole. He rested his forehead on her navel for a second to let her adjust, and when he felt her grind on his fingers, he held her gaze while lining his mouth with her clit yet again. Harry started to work his fingers in and out of her, sucking on her clit. But what turned him on the most was her slow grinding on his face and fingers, like she was fucking his fingers nstead of his fingers fucking her. Harry used his free arm to slide it under her leg that was up on the couch, and grabbed her ass with a tight grip to pull her even closer. The pleasure was beginning to feel overwhelming, the pressure deep down on her belly begging for release was making her desperate. Y/N's moans and breathy sighs were becoming louder and consistent and the way he could feel her legs slightly shaking gave away how close she was to her release. Harry wanted her to make a mess on his face, so badly. He lowered his head and replaced his fingers with his tongue, not before he moved his fingers one last time to massage her spongy spot at the front of her insides. He fucked her with his tongue as he used his soaked fingers to stimulate her clit, circling in the fast and rough peace he knew she enjoyed so much. Her insides felt like a rocket about to launch, between his moans sending vibrations through her entire body and his fingers stimulating her clit the way she exactly needed, she became a moaning mess. Y/N couldn't comprehend how she was still standing up, even though Harry's arm under her thigh was holding most of her weight up, her knees were about to give up soon. "H-Harry, I'm so close," Y/N spoke as clearly as possible, knowing her panting was messing with her words, "please don't stop." He admired the way her jaw tightened and relaxed, her mouth opening shortly after, making a perfect 'o' with her eyes pressed shut. With one specific movement of Harry's tongue, she finally let go. With her eyes rolling back she let a couple of continuous 'fuck's quickly leave her mouth. Her entire body jolted forwards, bending a bit over him while his mouth was still attached to her core, helping her ride her orgasm, making it last for as long as possible. Y/N pulled Harry away from her with her grip on his hair once it became too much, and looked down at him. Without a second thought she bent down to lock her lips on his, with so much force it threw him back into his original seated position on the couch. "Take your pants off, now." She demanded, but adding an almost inaudible 'please', mostly for her. He happily obliged, taking his boxers down with them, imitating her previous actions. His cock sprung free, and he hissed at the feeling of freedom. Harry was so focused on her he didn't realize how painfully hard he was. He could feel his own heartbeat thundering in his chest with so much force it was almost alarming. He needed her so, so badly. Once his pants and boxers were thrown and forgotten on the floor, she straddled him. Giving him a quick but soft kiss on the lips, she began making her way down his neck, reaching back up again to (what she knew) was his most sensitive spot behind his ear. Y/N sucked a small bruise, and he whimpered. God, Y/N loved those small noises he made. She kissed her favorite beauty mark on the right side where his neck meets his shoulder, and that small action alone made his heart feel like someone was squeezing and

twisting it. He missed those small loving details from her. Y/N kept making her way down his chest, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses all over him, not forgetting to suck and nibble at his nipples. She loved taking care of him. All of him. And the way he enjoyed her playing with his nipples was something he was always scared of admitting, but he knew he didn't have to ask her to do it, because she just knew. She sunk down to her knees, still sucking and licking the skin all over his stomach while caressing his thighs (Oh, those thighs). Y/N finally grabbed his dick and slowly stroked him all the way from his base to the tip, collecting some of the precum leaking from his deep pink, swollen head. He groaned loudly, lifting his hips to fuck her fist once. She took that as a sign to lower her head even more, his cock now in front of her face. "Want my mouth, baby?" She tapped her plump lips with his tip, and when he looked down at her, she moved her closed lips around him, almost like she was using his precum as lipgloss, her hand still slowly moving up and down his length. She got him hypnotized. "Hmm?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "Y-yes, please." He heavily sighed. His begging made her drip down her thighs, he knew how much she loved it, and she knew he loved begging too, maybe even more than her. She always took such good care of him. She swirled her tongue around his tip once, then proceeded to lick up his shaft a couple of times like his dick was an ice lolly. Once she finally wrapped her lips around his tip, he sighed in relief, and relaxed his shoulders. Harry's hands grabbed her neck to pull her head down, and she surprised him when she suddenly deep throated him before even working her way there. "Fucking hell, Y/N." He moaned when he felt her humming around him. Harry grabbed her hair making a shift ponytail, to help her get her hair out of the way, and using his grip on it to lift her head, her mouth left his dick, and he smirked at the small pout on her lips. "You are so perfect." She ignored him and tried to lean forward again, which made him smile at how desperate she was. He let her get what she wanted, allowing her lips to wrap around his tip again. She licked up his slit and swirled her tongue around him, and hollowed her cheeks to suck on his tip. She took more of him in her mouth, using her right hand to work on his base and her left to gently cup his balls and play with them. Harry knew he wouldn't last long. It's been a while since they've done anything remotely sexual, and his hand... his hand wasn't her. So even though he could get himself off, nothing in the world would compare to how it felt when it was his Y/N pleasing him. His breathing became irregular as she bobbed her head up and down his length in a steady rhythm, and when she tugged on his balls he knew he had to pull her away right that second, or he would come. And he really wanted to, but not like this. "Baby, please," he tried to pull her head away with a tug on her ponytail, but she didn't oblige. Instead, she looked up at him through her eyelashes, still bobbing her head up and down on him, and that sight alone could make him come in a heartbeat. But he kept it together. "I wanna come inside you, p-please." And that made Y/N pull away, her mouth making a 'pop' sound when she let his dick fall from her lips. She then straddled him, her hands finding their home right behind his ears, grabbing him by his hair, while his made their way around her body, hugging her close. His dick fit perfectly between her lips, and Y/N grinded on him to feel his wet cock slide through her folds, creating the most delicious friction. Harry kissed her passionately, trying to pour everything he felt in the kiss. And Y/N did feel it, because she was trying to do the same. They repeated the action a couple of times until she reached in between them to grab a hold of him, positioning him on her opening. And when she finally sank down on him, they locked gazes. They sat still, connected. They were so close. They felt so close. Harry

nudged her nose with his, softly brushing their lips together. He then noticed a single tear run down her cheek, and reached for her face quickly. Right before it got in her mouth he caught it with his thumb, and she leaned in his touch. They didn't say a word. Just sat still. With Harry caressing her cheek, and Y/N looking straight into his eyes. Y/N leaned forward to capture his top lip between hers, leaving the sweetest kiss, repeating the action with his bottom lip. After, she went for the right corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jawline, his pulse point, behind his ear. And repeated the exact same trail on the left side of his face, finishing with his top and bottom lips, one last time before starting to slowly grind and circle her hips on him. Harry just couldn't stop staring at her. The amount of love and adoration he held in his heart for that woman was beyond words, and actions. And he then understood. He understood that he could live a life without marriage if it meant living it with her. He could handle it. He would get over it. He involuntarily dropped his head back and shut his eyes with so much force, while hissing through gritted teeth when she finally lifted her weight on her knees, sliding up on his dick until he was almost entirely out, only to sink back down roughly, going so deep it made both of them moan loudly at how tight she was. She slid one of her hands around his neck to grab him by his chin, forcing him to look at her. Y/N kissed him again, and this time their kiss was messy and desperate, between crashing teeth and loud moans due to her fucking him with all she got. She let go of Harry's mouth to sit straighter, using his shoulders as support to move faster. This position gave Harry a view he wouldn't trade for anything in the world. He could see his cock, so drenched of her arousal, and her pussy taking him so well. The wet sounds leaving their connected centers were magical, so erotic, accompanied with the small whimpers and moans coming out of her perfect lips. Harry thought she looked like a fucking goddess, with her round and perky tits bouncing up and down every time her tight pussy took him entirely. "You're being so good, baby. Letting me fuck you just how I like it." She whispered to him, staring at his heart shaped, swollen lips. The lips she was so addicted to. "You take such good care of me, angel. Always." He replied, looking into her eyes which were still glued to his lips. She licked her own, and moved forward to crash them against his on another messy kiss. They both were so close. Harry couldn't understand how he managed to hold his release for so long, but he was proud of himself. Y/N separated their lips for a moment to make him suck her point and middle finger, which he complied immediately, knowing exactly what she was doing. He then watched her lower her hand between their bodies again, but this time to reach for her clit, where she started to gently rub circles, stimulating herself. Harry started thrusting up with force, to meet her halfway, tightening his grip around her middle. Y/N bit down his shoulder to stifle a loud moan, which only made Harry thrust faster. "Please come for me, Y/N, I wanna feel you come all- all around my cock." He managed to plead between breathy whimpers. And it only took a few more thrusts from him to make her insides explode in the most blissful sensation, like electricity running all the way from her belly to her toes. She stiffens in his hold, her inside walls tightening and clenching so hard it almost sends him out of her, making his balls tighten right before he lets go. She could feel him emptying inside her, his spurts of cum filling her up, leaving both of them exhausted, satisfied and utterly fucked. None of them moved for a while. Y/N's breathing calmed him, almost like a lullaby, and the way Harry was gently stroking her back made goosebumps erupt all over her body. Without any warning, Harry stood up, making Y/N wrap her legs around him, she hissed through the feeling of his dick moving while still

inside her, and she bit down his shoulder again. She didn't question what he was doing, she didn't care. Harry sat her down on a cold surface after turning the lights on, and when she opened her eyes she realized he sat her in their bathroom counter. He put some space between them so he could finally look at her again. The fact that they barely spoke during sex today (when they were usually pretty vocal) made everything so... different. Not in a bad way, though. It made them both enjoy sex as the pure performance of just loving someone. No need of crazy positions, weird kinks or edging each other the way they're used to. Just love. The need to feel connected. The need of physically demonstrating each other's love. How they are each other's entire world. "I'm gonna clean us up, okay?" Harry told her softly, and she only nodded in response. She leaned in to give him a soft kiss, which honestly caught Harry off guard now that the sexual act was over. But made him happy nonetheless. She was scared of him shutting her out again. But he was scared of her getting tired of him. He knew she was a free soul. She wanted so many things, and settling down to start a family like he wanted to wasn't in her near plans, maybe in her plans at all. And he knew that. He understood it, and he respected it. He just thought about how badly he truly wanted that life with her. He was just scared she would let him go. They both looked down and hissed the moment he slid out of her. Harry had the perfect view of their mixed cum dripping down her core, making a mess on the marble counter under her. And Y/N saw his dick twitch at the sight, but decided against commenting on it. Even though it made her slightly smirk. Harry took his time cleaning both of them, and Y/N didn't look away from him. Not even for a second. He lifted her up again and literally sat her down on the toilet so she could pee. They've done this a thousand times, it was normal for them, she wasn't modest about him seeing or listening to her pee. After they brushed their teeth next to each other, stealing curious looks (especially Harry at Y/N's boobs through the mirror), they went to bed together. And for the first time in two months, she rested her head on his chest, with his arms wrapped around her. The only thing she didn't notice was that once Harry knew she was asleep, he couldn't keep it in. He cried himself to sleep that night. But it wasn't any different from what he was used to from the past couple of months. The only difference was that this time, he knew he'd give up his dreams if it meant he could keep her around. & The next morning, Y/N felt something, or someone, shift behind her. She knew it was Harry. His arm was thrown over her waist, resting dangerously close to her boobs (she secretly loved the way Harry seemed obsessed with her boobs) and she could feel his breathing hit the back of her neck. She hugged his arm closer to her body to let him know she was awake, which made Harry shift even closer, cup her left breast and press his pretty pink and warm lips to her neck. "Good morning." She said with a breathy laugh, her morning voice was a sound that drove Harry mad. She sounded way too sexy for her (or his) own good. "Hi." He nuzzled her neck with his nose, "how'd you sleep?" He left another lingering kiss, this time below her ear. "Amazing. Haven't slept this good in a while." She replied honestly, wiggling her body back towards him so their torsos were pressing together. "Mhm, me too." He whispered, tightening his hold around her, his morning wood pressing on her lower back. She could already feel the pool of her arousal in between her legs, and when she arched her back so now his dick was pressing against the curve of her ass, he groaned in her ear. He slowly started to grind himself against her ass, moving down on the bed a bit so he could better his position. And when she grinded back against him, he reached in between them to position himself on her opening. He pushed the tip in, just enough to feel her tight hole around

him. "Can I?" He asked her to make sure they both wanted this. When she sighed deeply in pleasure and murmured a 'yes', he slowly thrusted into her, both moaning a bunch of profanities. They both were huge lovers of morning sex. It increased their moods during their days, helped them relax and carry their days with a carefree feeling. So, he fucked her. Hard. Not even close to how loving they were last night. He woke up with an unbeatable energy, and he wanted to take advantage of it. He fucked her in the position they woke up in. He turned her to her stomach and fucked her while (almost) laying completely on top of her (she loved feeling his weight on her) and he fucked her on all fours, only to end up in their initial position, with her back against his chest on their sides, so he could play with her clit to help her come. That morning they spent it in bed, Y/N made them breakfast, Harry read a book. They both knew they needed to talk, but they wanted to enjoy some time where everything felt normal between them again. So they avoided the topic. But the conversation they owed each other kept being pushed. And for another two months, everything slowly started to feel normal again. Usually, avoiding conversation will lead up to more hurting. But with Y/N and Harry, it ended up becoming a realization point. Harry got in terms with the fact they wanted different things. He decided she was worth anything and everything in the world, because she was his world. But what he didn't know was that Y/N spent those entire two months imagining what a life like the one Harry wanted with her would be like. And after one day, on Harry's 28th birthday, during a small walk they were taking on Central Park, she realized she would do anything in the world to make him the happiest man he could ever be. She kissed him so passionately that day, interrupting their walk. He looked at her with a confused look when she pulled away with the brightest smile on her face. But that smile made him confirm he was willing to give up his dream of getting married. That's why in mid February, Y/N found herself shopping in a very expensive jewelry store. She knew Harry liked that place since his 'H' and 'S' rings were from there. They had an amazing section of handmade rings that she spent a long time going through. She wanted to pick the best one she could find. She found the prettiest, most fine silver ring with a red stone adorning it's top. She knew he would love it. It definitely didn't look like the typical engagement ring, but nothing about Harry was typical. It would match the rest of his rings lovingly, and Y/N knew he would simply love it. Not only because it was a pretty ring, but because it would mean something big for them. Three days later, Y/N came back from work to find Harry sitting on their living room couch watching the forecast. Why? Who the fuck knows. He never watched cable TV. Y/N just stood there for a while, just staring at him. "Hi, love." He greeted her. "Are you alright?" He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. The crease between them made an appearance, even though it was there most of the time. "Hey." She finally moved, dropped her keys on the little bowl sitting on top of the small table in the hallway. "All good, gonna put some comfy clothes on really quick." She lied. She just couldn't wait any longer. Watching him sit there all frustratingly beautiful doing absolutely nothing was fucking annoying, it was so unfair how beautiful he was. She had an entire evening prepared but she just couldn't wait any longer. She wanted to do it now. She dropped her purse on their bed and quickly got rid of her shoes, but didn't change into anything comfier. She just grabbed the small black velvet box from her t-shirt drawer and went back to the living room, sliding it in the back pocket of her jeans so he wouldn't be able to see it. Harry looked at her with a confused look, wondering why she was still in her work clothes walking directly to him when she said she wanted to change. She sunk to her knees in

between his legs, which only made him even more confused. "You sure you're alright?" Harry gently asked her. She just hummed in response and grabbed the remote sitting on the coffee table (moving as little as possible, she didn't want him seeing the small bump on her jeans because she knew he would ask about it), and turned back around. She rested her ass on her ankles, and her arms on top of his thighs. "So..." she started. "So..." Harry repeated, confused. "I love you, so very much." Y/N started and Harry's breath got caught in his throat. He wasn't expecting this at all. "So much, you don't even understand." Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. They haven't told they loved each other in so long, scared of the other not saying it back. God only knows why, because it was clear as water they still loved each other with their whole beings. "And I know we both always wanted different things." This is it. Harry thought. She's breaking up with me. "And I know there are some things I believe that you will never understand, and there are some things I- I didn't understand, for a long time." Harry furrowed her eyebrows further at this last part. Now he truly didn't understand what she was trying to say. "For so long I thought I wanted something, you know? Like I was sure I had it all figured out for myself, the life I wanted. But I actually- I was searching for a life that wasn't mine. And I didn't realize that what I already have is everything I could possibly want." Y/N's cheeks were flushed, tears streaming down her face so fast they were drenching his hands that were now pressed against her cheeks, softly caressing them. "I know now, that love is about finding common ground. Meeting each other's needs. And sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to do that. And I came to a conclusion." She swallowed the big lump on her throat, and that finally allowed her to let a long breath leave her chest. "I love you more than anything in this world. I hope you know that, and I know I struggle sometimes with letting you know how much I adore and admire all of you. But I promise to do my best today, and for the rest of my life, to make sure you know how loved you are. How much I'm willing to do for you. And this took me a while to understand, but I do now. I understand why you felt like you needed to take that 'next step' with us. And I understand why it'd make you as happy as you always said. So, it'd make me really happy to ask you to," Y/N reached her pocket and heard him gasp when she pulled the box in front of him, revealing a beautiful ring for him, "marry me." Harry was speechless. Truly, ultimately speechless. Not only was the love of his life asking him to marry her, she was saying she truly wanted this. Harry's gaze kept going from the ring back to her eyes. And after a while of no one saying anything, Y/N cleared her throat. "H," she whispered, "Will you marry me?" She asked, the soft tone on her voice and the question he dreamed so many times asking her knocked him back to life. "Yes, yes, Y/N, yes- oh Y/N-" he choked a sob, and the biggest smiles appeared on both their faces. Y/N threw herself to him, wrapping her arms around his neck so tightly. He helped her straddle him so he could wrap his own arms around her. They held each other for a few seconds, both crying the happiest tears they ever let drop, and when she pulled away to put the ring on him, he surprised her by crashing their lips together. They shared their most passionate kiss in the entirety of their relationship, both still crying, smiling, spilling so much love and adoration with each stroke of their tongues. When he pulled away, she finally placed the box in between them again. "Can I put it on you? I know you like to wear your 'H' ring on your ring finger, so we could put it somewhere else, you know? And make it our own thing-" Harry interrupted her giving her a soft peck, "or we could-" another kiss, "I don't know." She finally gave in, pressing her lips harder against him. After another long kiss, he finally told her

where he wanted his ring, and with a last kiss he patted her ass to let her know he needed her to stand up. "Wait here." He pointed at her, and she sat on the couch with a soft 'okay'. He returned moments later with his hand behind his back and a lopsided smirk. He sat in the same position she was for her proposal, in between her legs. Before he said anything, he moved his hands in between them, opening a red velvet box. She gasped like Harry did moments ago when she saw the beautiful ring with a small red stone (yes! Like his own ring) placed on top of a very thin and delicate silver band that was sitting inside the small box. "It was my grandmother's." Harry said in a quiet tone. "She gave it to me before she passed away a couple months after we met, remember?" She slowly nodded, lifting her gaze to meet his eyes. There was so much love written all over his face. "I told her you were it for me. I knew I wanted this with you ever since we met at our university library. She gave it to me in hopes I could... give it to you some time." He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I kept it hidden from you all this time. Didn't want you to find it and make everything weird between us. But I'd really love if you could, um... wear it if you want?" He shyly asked. "It'd be an honor to carry her ring with me, Harry." His face lit up so fast at her response. "Yeah?" He asked, perplexed. "Yeah." Y/N replied with a big smile. "Will you marry me, Y/N?" He asked her this time, and she couldn't help but giggle. "I asked you first." She pecked his lips. "But yes, Harry. I'll marry you." And she kissed him again, and he couldn't help but smile so widely she ended up with her lips against his teeth. After putting his grandmother's ring on her, they shared another night of pure, loving sex. None remember how many times they made each other come, but they did have another important conversation between rounds. "Something else I wanted to tell you..." She said, in between kisses (they loved giving each other soft small pecks all over each other while they were talking). She was straddling him in their bed, his back against the headboard. He didn't want to pull out of her just yet, keeping his cum inside her for as long as possible. "I know you're ready to have kids, like, right now." She said, and he raised his eyebrows playfully at her. "I can tell by your breeding kink, honestly." He let a loud laugh leave his chest, making her smile too. It was honestly hilarious, I mean, look at their position. "I decided I really want to have kids with you." He gasped, "But..." he sunk down in his position, a visible pout on his lips, which she kissed away from him. "Promise me you'll wait for me, until I'm in my 30's" He locked eyes with her. She really wanted this. So much. "Only three more years?!" He asked with so much hope. "Three more years and we can start trying, I promise. I just thought that- that we could get married now, have some time as a married couple, you know? To enjoy ourselves." She shrugged and he couldn't help but smile widely and her, nodding frantically. "That way we are both adapting to each other, you know? Meet halfway our wants." "God, I love you so much." He chose to say, instead of replying straight away. "I'll wait a lifetime to have kids with you if that's what you wanted, just please- decide before you reach menopau-" He couldn't even finish his sentence since she shut him up by putting her hand over his mouth. "Don't even say it. God, I don't wanna be old." She sighed in frustration. "I honestly can't wait to grow old with you." Harry said with such a loving tone, like an enamored teenager, hugging her closer to him. And she couldn't help but smile back at him. Because even though ageing scares her, she's ready to spend the rest of her life with him. "I love you, my angel." Y/N told Harry, before kissing his lips, yet again.

"I love you, my Y/N." Harry whispered to her, keeping her face close to his.

Thank you so much for reading! Have a lovely day <3

-Joey

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry smut #my writing

27 notes · View notes