#hateful thoughts

[bigassmoonchild]

All Ears

Pairing: König x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: You are one of the best soldiers around, but it seems you aren't seen even off the battlefield. König makes sure you know that you're seen.

Content Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Being Left Out, Hateful Thoughts, Self Hate (it's okay, könig comforts you)

A/N: My 'd' button isn't working that well. Have had to go back and make sure it was pressed. Little drabble for y'all, just to give you something to eat up. I will continue Maple Syrup on Friday/Saturday, and the taglist is always being updated! I should really just make a masterlist atp, I’ve got enough posts. As always, content under the cut and my asks are open <3 I PASTED THE ENTIRE FIC INTO THE TAGS GOD HELP ME

"It's really funny, though," you started and listened to everyone talk over you. Gaz making little quips as Soap gave a story, Price and Ghost having listened intently. Even König and Horangi weren't listening to you, from what you could tell.

You glanced down briefly, waiting for a pause before you tried to jump in again. And again, you were interrupted, though by Price this time. Taking a little sip of the drink you had in front of you, which was extremely watered down by now, you glanced at the people around you.

It was odd. You worked your ass off to get to this point, working with some of the best of the best but still seeming to be too small to really exist with them. When everyone paused, taking drinks, you opened your mouth to speak when Soap tugged Gaz off to play darts, calling for you all to watch him.

A little, almost grimace of a smile came on your face as you played with the coaster intended for your drink. You could feel you heart sinking, swallowing thickly around the tears beginning to form.

You were one of the best soldiers in the world, and yet you had never felt so small. Whether it was intentional or not, you had no idea. You watched everyone talk and exist with one another while you sat on the side, like a bystander. Someone who wasn't supposed to be there, but you found yourself stuck.

"I am all ears, Maus," König spoke to you, leaning in close and looking at you through the mask. You gave him a grim smile, shaking your head and shrugging slightly.

"'s nothing, don't even remember what I was going to say," you told him. He blinked slowly at you, glancing own at your drink that your hands were connected to. He looked at the others, breathing deeply from the deep rise and fall of his shoulders.

Glancing back at you, he held his arm out. "I can buy you a better drink," he said, gesturing further towards you with the arm. "Come," he said.

You grabbed the arm he offered and let him help you from the chair, watching as he cut through the crowd with his height and mass. König's bicep flexed around your arm, seemingly holding you tighter as the crowd flexed and pulsed around your hold.

As you came upon the bar, König leaned against it, calling over the bartender. You stood beside him, waiting until the man could come and take your order. Until them, he had his eyes set on you, not allowing his focus to waver.

"Tell me," he started. "What was it you were going to say before you were interrupted?" You looked away, swallowing thickly. In your mind, it had completely fallen to the side. Becoming nothing, almost as you did when everyone was together.

Glancing back at him, he kept his eyes on you. "Gaz was talking about songs he thought would suit him, y'know?" He nodded, waiting patiently for you to continue. "Was gonna suggest that maybe he should choose 'It's Raining Men', considering his little incident with a helicopter," he snorted above you, shaking his head.

"Maus has jokes, hasn't she?" You shook your head, looking away for a few minutes, watching as the 141 continued to be themselves. Without you. Had they really needed you? "Get those thoughts out of your head," he snapped at you and you glance up at him. König was watching the group as well.

"What?"

"I know what you are thinking," he told you. "I know that look. Do not beat yourself with stones not thrown," you couldn't look at him. The fact that he knew, he had known, what you were thinking.

How you felt so alone, ever since you transferred. You weren't close to any of these soldiers, you didn't know them. They didn't know you, and so you were left off to the side, like a toy they didn't want to play with but didn't want anyone else to have.

As useless as a centimeter of thread, disappearing without a trace when not watched. Disappearing because you weren't necessary to the entire picture, because you didn't have a true purpose that wasn't already fulfilled by someone bigger, better than you.

Useless.

"You are not so alone," he said. "Not so different from any soldier, but that doesn't make you useless. It doesn't make you any less important than those men already there," you glanced up at him, watching his eyes dance across the crowd.

König glanced down at you, eyes crinkling slightly with what you could only assume was a smile. A throat cleared behind you and you glanced back, turning fully to see the bartender in front of you. König gave his order and glanced down at you.

"I've had enough to drink, I should probably pull back," you whispered. "Just a water, for me," you told the man. You watched as the drinks were set out, pulling the water close to you and gulping down mouthfuls of it.

Like you hadn't drank in years, even though it had only been minutes. Your mouth felt dry, mind whirling thousands of miles a minute. You could hear little whispers of the people around you, feeling everything pushing in on you all at once. The heat of all of the bodies surrounded you, pushing in on you and you were stuck in your head.

"Schatz?" It pulled you out, a hand touching your bicep and pulling you from everything. You could see a woman trying to sweeten him up, pressing up against his side. "Talk to me, Maus," he whispered. "'m all ears," he told you.

You glanced at the woman and he did too, her toothy smile dropping as soon as he turned away, a little scoff coming from her. Some words that disappeared into the background came from her lips, and you couldn't read her lips to catch it.

"You are important, Maus," he said. A statement, no questions regarding it. "We all care about you, but you need to find yourself. Find who you are outside of a soldier, create your person. They know you as a soldier, not as a person," König cleared his throat. "Give them some time, I am sure Soap and Gaz will pull you in with them," and you looked up at him.

His eyes had followed the woman through the crowd, watching as she struggled her way back to her friends. As much as you didn't realize it, he was watching everything around you. He probably knew just about as much of yourself as you did, just from watching you.

"I have ears for you," König said, eyes glancing down. "Only ears for you,"

[sliphater]

hey guys. slipjacksonlofer and i have something to admit...

for once we have agreed on someone to hate and you should hate them too

everyone leave a FUCK JIMMY in the comments below

show your support for the anti jimmy legion!!! he should drink so much mouthwash till it burns his insides into outsides. fucking hate this fucker. i hope he gets sucked out the airlock and is burned beyond recognition in a massive fucking star. he is so very disgusting and if i catch any of you bitches being named jimmy you can bet that it is ON SIGHT. YOU WILL BE DISINTEGRATED BY MY SUPERMASSIVE LASER EYEBALLS.

this is also an anya lover account now. i think she deserves the world and a trip to a planetarium. thank you

[jonathanbyersphd]

Resisting the urge to tell y'all my anti Stancy thoughts bc I promised myself I'd try to stop being a hater on main

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[problemnyatic]

It's too late, I've already depicted you as the ugly pathetic "soy"jack (the soy is because soy has estrogen in it, this is bad because it makes you less masculine and more like the inferior female sex, because men should only be manly otherwise they're "failed" and thus lesser and deserving of ridicule) And me as the White Handsome Blue-Eyed Blond Man With Impressive Facial Hair Who's Memetic Association Is With Being Objectively Correct (This makes sense because he is the ideal Aryan specimen, all of these features obviously make him objectively superior to other people). This means I win and definitely look good here, you should really just pack it up. I'm a leftist btw

[izzy444angel]

this is me all day

[pinkgelpen444]

[shitbl0gger]

[aybuketheblogger]

this is how i flirt

[dreamingawayyour1ife]

Girlrotting ⁺. ༶

[dlwrish]

[lestatthevamp]

[roseforviolet]

[doydoune]

i hate them so much why are they like this

[bajaja-blast]

you dislike Luke Castellan because he disagreed with an oppressive government system and actually took action to change the abusive ways him and his peers have been forced to follow for millennia.

I dislike Luke Castellan because in the Titans Curse he manipulated Annabeth, who he raised as his little sister, into holding up the sky, the FUCKING sky, for over 20 hours and had the audacity to walk away as though he was completely apathetic towards it while she begged and pleaded with him to help her.

we are not the same.

[izzy444angel]