#hate to change it but also i want to change it so bad

[uncreative-cryptid]

aha this has me thinking about about cannibalism and morality now, and not just for any reason, but i think the reason a lot of people can't give a better explanation of "cannibalism is bad because that's illegal" probably don't understand that centuries of death rituals and innate teachings of religion are likely at work here.

if you read the bible on death and how the dead are meant to be handled, you'll probably note something rather distinct:

Numbers 19:11 ; "Whoever touches the dead body of anyone will be unclean for seven days"

you are considered "unclean" when handling dead bodies, so i would also give to assume that the idea of eating a human body would be difficult as you would be considered unclean and would have to go through a whole ass cleansing ritual to be considered "clean" and "acceptable" again.

but this isn't the only thing at play here when it comes to cannibalism. i think that religion's views and handling of the dead also lay within their death rites and rituals, as a lot of religions will consider the human body sacred. i think it'd be abhorrent if someone you loved passed away then was flayed, sectioned, and butchered, all before you in a way to be consumed and then you were offered a piece of meat as compensation.

i can only imagine how the catholics would feel if we exhumed the saints and decided to chew on a femur or two for enrichment.

though, alternatively, consumption of a person in some ways can be seen as symbolic of love (i.e. jesus saying the bread is his body and the wine his blood, that you may consume him and accept him)

something i think a lot of people also unconsciously take into consideration without truly realizing it is that when say "corpse" you are using a very broad term that could mean anything dead.

i like to eat meat, particularly ribs. i am actively consuming a cooked corpse when i choose to eat ribs. now, why does that make it different from saying "eat humans"? well, when i consume beef or pork ribs, i am eating an animal i have over many years been conditioned to equal as a source of food.

hundreds, if not thousands, of years of society telling me that animal and livestock lives are less than. i can still vividly recall the way my family excused ruthless slaughter of farm animals for consumption as "well they aren't going to heaven because they don't have souls anyway".

so what point am i trying to make here exactly?

inherently, over a long period of time, either based in religion or just societal belief, we have conditioned ourselves to see humans as "higher" - after all, we're top of the food chain. in some arbitrary way, we've assigned ourselves as gods of a hierarchy of animals. we are sentient, we are living and breathing and aware and emotional and volatile and constantly changing creatures subject to love, hate, pain, fear, bravery, bias, and a number of learned behaviors we subconsciously take on.

because we think, therefore we am.

so we have:

religious beliefs (the dead are unclean, diseased AND the body is sacred and must be treated with respect as is their final rites for their transition into the afterlife)

humans are a "higher being" and should be treated as such

but lastly i'd like to point out that once you start thinking of humans, specifically dead humans, you begin to assign faces mentally.

the discussion of death and mortality is not often discussed outside certain circles or in the context of "a life after death, what waits beyond", and rarely do we actually discuss death in of itself.

this aversion to the discussions of death has inherently led to a lot of people becoming uncomfortable with the idea that we as mortal beings can and will die, this fate is inevitable no matter how we wish to perceive it.

i imagine that in some sense, when discussing the ethics and morals of cannibalism, we are subconsciously putting ourselves into that role. we tend to put our ego into a lot of things, because at the heart of it we are animals that want to preserve our lives to some degree.

cannibalism is uncomfortable because it poses the concept of death and humanity as nothing greater than the animals of the greater wilds, who must feast or die.

so, the points to make as to why cannibalism is "illegal" or "morally incorrect":

religious beliefs

humans are "higher beings"

the ego

humanizing what is no longer human, or what used to be human.

that last point, i highly suggest watching Caitlin Doughty's video The Rugy Team That Fell From The Sky, as it's part of her historical documentary and actually covers the topic of cannibalism (she has 3 that i can think of that cover cannibalism as a matter of fact to the story).

when faced with no alternative, people will turn to cannibalism.

in the book Tender Is The Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, it poses the question "what if no animal on earth was edible except humans?" and proceeds with explicit detail on how man would go about handling this - it's not something i suggest reading, it is graphic and hard to stomach, but essentially:

the less human you make it, the easier it is to consume.

we personalized and humanize, we're animals who seek comfort in the pack of families and communities. the more human, the more personal, the more you will struggle to consume that which as become more real to you.

but what if we could make it something of a ritual? a sacred ritual celebrating the life that is no longer, in the same way church made me eat a cracker and drink cranberry juice every sunday morning?

cannibalism is only illegal because we as humans personalized, humanize, and elevate, ourselves and those closest to us.

this excludes the understanding of sciences and that eating a human body can lead to disease, but i'd dare to say that we simply haven't experimented with human meat based meals to have made it edible and safe like we have with the corpses of cows and chickens and pigs and fish.

cannibalism is complex and fascinating and there's a lot to it, but "morally incorrect" is only subjective based on what you believe "humans" to be.

[arbitrarykiwi]

HI SO LIKE CAN YOU PLEASE WRITE A SMUT OF NAMGYU🙏🙏 like hes your deadbeat baby daddy boyfriend who just stays out and away doing drugs and drinking and comes home at ungodly hours while youre taking care of the baby and one night he notices the little weight you put on after giving birth and how it made your breasts swell and got curvier and shit, n like yall are arguing because he came home really late and youre sick of his shit and its kinda a hate/angry fuck kinda thing?? THANK YOU I LOBE UR FICS

Reckless Temptation

I’m so sorry this took so long!! This was such a fun ask! Admittedly, I’m not the best with topics that involve angst (I love when the reader gets a happy ending and I’m such a ween when it comes to angst endings) so i struggled a bit…BUT I tried my best!!!! It was such a fun challenge for me, I really hope you like it 😩🫶

Warnings: smut (18+) , toxic themes (nothin crazy, he just a bum babydaddy) , toxic relationship , relationship issues , drug / alcohol mention , oral (f receiving) , p in v sex , choking, dirty talk , hate fucking (relatively tame) , rough sex , nam-gyu is a warning himself in this one , creampie , breeding kink , read at your own risk

You don’t know why you stayed or why you continued to let him fuck you over.

Well… you did know…

Every time you looked at the infant in your arms, the one that has her dad’s smile and eyes, you literally couldn’t bring yourself to leave.

You swear sometimes when she laughs, it sounds like his laugh and you want to call him over and show him how precious the sight is- but he’s hardly ever there. He’s never in your shared apartment. He’s never there to help out with your child.

He’s always late coming home- sure you know the club promoting gig he’s got has weird hours but even on the days you know he’s off, he’s not retuning until 3am. He’s also always high, on what, you could never figure it out it changes week by week it seemed. Sometimes he’d smell like a walking ounce of weed when he’s stumbling through the door, other nights his pupils are just blown and he’s jittery.

Admittedly, neither of you planned to have a child. It was a surprise that had you floored. Nam-gyu was the last person you ever thought of who would be a parent, and when it happened, you were sure he was going to leave you when you told him the news. But he didn’t. That had to mean something.

You took care of your daughter, only you. He would show up whenever he pleased to your shared apartment- even though he hardly ever stayed the night he was still on the lease- to drop off his share of rent money (it was never enough), grocery money (maybe $10 if you were lucky), or the occasional thing you had to beg him to pick up the store. He would bitch and complain about how you always bothered him at the worst times, how he has to do everything for you; That’s hardly the case, but he likes to tell you it is.

To say the least, he was garbage, a deadbeat, no good for you. But, there was some days when you would come out of the shower and see him looking over the crib cooing at your daughter- playing with her with a goofy smile on his face. Those moments make all the bad times fade to the background.

Only to be pulled back to the foreground when he stands quickly, stepping away from the crib. He grabs his jacket, turns around, and walks out the bedroom door- shoulder brushing against yours as he pushes past you- muttering a “don’t wait up tonight”.

You know the drill you never do.

Tonight was no different, you had stayed up late dealing with the baby. She was about 4 months at this point so you got into a decent routine even if it did nothing for your sleep schedule. You say sprawled out on the couch, legs up on the cushion and your baby in your arms. Your shirt was up over your shoulder, your baby drinking away happily at the milk that your breast gave. You couldn’t help the way your head nodded every so often as your eyes fought to stay open. At least she wasn’t crying, you thought. You looked down at her with a soft smile, fingers brushing over her cheek gently.

The sound of a car pulling into your driveway makes your head snap up. You rubbed your tired eyes with one hand, groaning, you knew that sound and that meant he was home. Looking to the clock on the TV stand, it blares a vibrant red hue that makes your eyes strain to see the time. 2:57 am.

You groan to yourself, preparing for the drugged out man that was about to stumble through the door. And when he does he’s wearing the usual pissed off scowl he has- like coming home to you and your child was the bane of his existence. You’ve had enough.

He was going to open his mouth to spew some bullshit excuse for being home late, one he’s used thousands of times before, but you stop him by raising your hand. You’re clenching your jaw, eyes wide and threatening as you hiss out a low “Don’t even fucking start.” You adjust the infant in your arms who was starting to slow down on breastfeeding and begin to grow tired.

Nam-gyu scoffs, his scowl deepening, his mouth flops open once again to speak. You cut him off once more- sitting up off the couch and returning his glare with one of your own. “I said…” You seethed through clenched teeth, “Don’t fucking start.” You growl lowly, taking a step towards him, infant still latched onto one of your breasts. “She’s about to fall asleep. I will put her to bed. And then, only fucking then, can you grace me with whatever lousy excuse you have tonight..”

Your tone is one that throws him off, sure he knew he was not a great boyfriend or father, you had every right to be pissed. Normally, you weren’t this confrontational- normally you would sit there sulking when he would come in the door, an adorable pout on your face that he knew wasn’t a cute expression but one of genuine upset and disappointment. He would brush you off telling you he was hungry and wanted you to cook him something.

You finish getting off the couch, it’s an awkward movement as you’re trying not to jostle the baby that had fallen asleep in your arms. Nam-gyu watches, the room is spinning and he’s trying to act like he’s sober because he doesn’t want to get into that argument again tonight- he is far too blitzed to have a coherent argument where he can manipulate it in his favor.

He watches intently, his eyes tracing over your body. You were wearing a large t-shirt and some shorts, nothing new there….but you were fuller. He felt his mouth go dry as you turn and walk down the hallway to the nursery. Your hips were wider and he swore your ass was bigger. The soft, plush flesh of your hips dug into the waistband of the shorts you wore, some of the flesh above the waist band spilling over the slightest bit- perfect to dig his hands into.

You turn into the room, disappearing, presumably putting the baby down in the crib. When you’re no longer in his sight, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It’s been a long while since you two had been intimate, the already rough relationship was not helped by a newborn, and he was pent up. As shitty as he was, not helping with the baby, not being home, partying and doing drugs- he never cheated. He can’t remember the last time you two had fucked, probably when he got you pregnant, but fuck- seeing your curves, how much fuller you were- he realized how much he missed it. How much he missed fucking you.

You return out the room you put your daughter in, thankful she was a decent sleeper because she was sleeping perfectly in the nursery as soon as you placed her down. He catches you fixing your shirt, getting a glimpse of your tits before the fabric falls back over the swollen flesh. You return back in front of him, standing in the entryway where he was still frozen. “It is two…no, three in the fucking morning.” You hiss out in a hushed voice.

“I got caught up at work.” He scoffs trying to walk past you and head to your shared bedroom. “Bullshit!” You laugh sardonically, “You were out partying with Thanos again weren’t you??” You accuse, taking a step closer to him.

You were partially right, he was out partying- but he was also working. With Thanos rap career taking off and Thanos needing VIP privileges at Club Pentagon, if he was there he was getting paid extra. Sure he did more than his fair share of drugs and came home plastered hours after he stopped working and getting paid- but he was still making money! “I was with Thanos but I wasn’t partying. I get paid double when he’s booked.” Nam-gyu growls lowly, lying through his teeth.

“Fucking hell!” You catch yourself raising your voice and quickly lower it to not wake your baby. “..do you think I’m fucking stupid?!” You’re seething out in a tone laced with venom. “You were fumbling with the damn keys, your words are slurred and your fucking pupils are blown!!” You gawk, he really had the audacity to try you?!

He seemed taken aback, surprised you could even see his eyes and how his pupils were dilated heavily in the low light of the living room. He had to remind himself, you were once like him, partying and down for whatever- that’s how you two met, he did coke off your thighs- you could tell the signs a mile away.

He envied you for that, quitting all the drugs you once did with him a year or so before you even got pregnant. You were stronger than him in that sense, had more willpower than him. You never got sucked back into the scene, even when your child was born you kept stead fast in your ways and weren’t tempted. It was like you thought you were better than him, and you were, but that just pissed him off more.

“God forbid I try and have some fun.” He says as he glares down at you. You go to speak, fuming at this point, “That’s not what-“ you almost want to scream, your words cut off when you see him roll his eyes, “roll your fucking eyes at me again and I will rip them out of your fucking skull.”

Your voice drops, you’re speaking through your teeth and getting up in his face. It would be threatening, he knows you would be the one to do it- but all he can think about is how thick your thighs look against the shorts you wore. He remembers those shorts, they used to fit looser, but now they dig into the plush flesh so deliciously has his mind is going blank. But the way you’re in his face- scolding him like some child, finger waving inches from his nose- is pissing him the fuck off.

His hand darts up in a quick motion that you have no way of intercepting. His hand wraps around your wrist, ringed fingers digging into your skin. “All you do is fucking run your mouth.” Nam-Gyu growls, he knows you have every right to yell at him, to be pissed, but he wouldn’t tell you that. Your eyebrows furrow, even more than they already were. Jaw clenched and chest heaving, you’re staring up at him oh so defiantly even if he was much larger than you.

“And all you know how to do is be a fucking deadbeat.” You counter, getting closer to his face by standing on your tippy toes. “You get to go out and party, probably rail some whores, while I have to stay here with your child and take care of her by myself.” You add. It’s an abrupt shift, he becomes even angrier, pulling you forward into him by your wrist he still holds.

To say he’s enraged would put it lightly- was he a deadbeat? Yes. But, he still tries to give you what he can, club pentagon only paid so much and he had a drug habit he didn’t care to address. Did he stay out and party and leave you at home to take care of the baby? Absolutely, he can’t argue with you on that one. But he never cheated. As fucked up as he was, as shitty as a father and boyfriend he was- one thing he would never do was cheat on you. To him that’s a type of low he always told himself he would never reach.

You fall into him, a gasp coming out of your lips when you meet his chest. When he feels your tits press against him, the enlarged flesh squishing against him- you watch as his eyes flutter shut, he bites his lip and breathes out a large breath, like he’s trying to ground himself.

He is.

He drops your wrist from his grip, hands coming to rest on your hips in a vice like grasp, caging you into him. “Watch your fucking mouth.” He seethes, eyes fluttering back open to glare down at you. “Say whatever the fuck else you want…I have never cheated.” He growls lowly, fingers tightening even harder around your plush hips. He wanted to continue to be mad at you, but the way his finger sunk into your flesh made the blood rush to his cock.

“You’re out late all the time and I can’t even remember the last time you touched me…” You say lowly, all your senses focus on the hold he has on your hips. His hands are cold, the rings on his fingers dig into the flesh and bite at your skin. He’s holding you in place like he’s sure you’re going to run away. “So excuse me for thinking you’re cheating. You also dont exactly hang around the best crowd.” You reason even further, now trying to fight against him and pull away.

He grimaces, he doesn’t even know how it’s possible that you manage to piss him off even further than normal. “You have my location. I’m always at work.” He scoffs dismissively. He wasn’t wrong but when he’s at work, he’s hardly working- he’s taking drugs, drinking, and doing god knows what else- you’ve seen the pictures he’s in the background posted on Thanos timeline.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” You seethe, trying to yank your hand out of his grasp yet again. It’s a futile attempt. “Okay! So you’re at work!? Where’s the fucking rent, huh?!” You say, voice raising, he’s a day late. He looks at you like you’re crazy and reaches into his back pocket and tosses a wad of cash over onto the coffee table- all while keeping you trapped in his grip. “Still late-“ your works are instantly cut off, “Wrong.” He mocks, reaching back into his pants pocket to pull out his phone and show you the date on his phone.

He was right. But it wasn’t your fault, your days had mixed together because you get no sleep with the baby and your child’s father comes home at 3am every day! God forbid you mix up your days. He also was no stranger to paying you late. You normally wouldn’t care about the mix up, maybe even own up to it- but today it just adds validity to his manipulative argument. “You’re still home at 3 in the fucking morning, you reek of booze and your pupils are blown!” You growl, not even caring that the day was wrong. You simply don’t care anymore. “And you’re doing all of this while I’m home taking care of our child!”

You’re leaning into him, getting up in his face with knitted eyebrows and barred teeth. He’s far too fucked up to deal with this, with you- because he knows you’re right. He never wants to face his issues, he never has wanted to, and every day you attempt to make him confront how shitty he was little by little, most of the times without even knowing it. You had always been too good for him, he knew that. He was lucky that you stayed and gave him a thousand chances instead of walking out on him. Maybe tomorrow he would address it and make a change for once in his life. But, right now, his head is pounding, the room is spinning and your hissing growl of a tone is only making his headache worsen.

His grip on your hips tightens, and he lowers his face so very closer to yours. His eyes are dark, angry, but there’s an odd glint of hunger in them that you haven’t seen in ages, it makes your body heat up in ways that due to not having felt it in so long, if now feels foreign. “You seriously don’t know when to stop fucking talking.” He growls lowly, like an animal about to feast on its caught prey. When he speaks his lips nearly brush against yours, the feather light contact tickles and sends electricity straight to your lower stomach. His voice has a hiss to it, like a viper, it should scare you but it doesn’t; it makes you hotter.

You two stand like that for a moment, the only sound you could hear was the sounds of your breath mixing with his. Every time the both of you heaved an angry breath, the hot air would mix between the two of you. Neither of you broke the other’s gaze, trying to win the silent stare off that started.

Nam-gyu breaks first, his eyes dropping to your chest, watching the rise and fall of your enlarged breasts from under the shirt- his resolve is out the window. He’s on your lips in an instant. You’re letting out a muffled sound of protest into his mouth, fighting against him and trying to pull away. But with the grip he still has on your wrist and the frantic movement of his lips keeps you still. You find yourself melting into it- you missed his kisses. Missed him.

As much as you want to pull back and continue to fight with him-you can’t. You relax into him, lips moving with his- almost rivaling his eagerness. When he feels you give in, his hands drop to your waist, nails biting into your plush flesh over the fabric of your shirt. You’re panting helplessly into his mouth, so desperate for the attention you’ve been deprived of for months. He’s pushing you backwards, guiding you further into the living room.

In a mess of lips and spit, you’re falling back first onto the couch and he’s following you, coming to straddle your thighs- hovering over you. His hands are back on you in an instant, running up your thighs and squeezing. His lips are back on yours, it’s a messy kiss that reminds you of how you two were when you first met. It’s sloppy, full of spit, and oh so Devine. You’re arching up into his touch, his cold hands running up your sides and then back down to your shorts. He wastes no time in gripping the waistband and tugging the fabric down your hips.

He’s pulling your shorts off you hastily and you help kick them off, whining into the kiss. Your lips don’t part once, he’s sucking your tongue into his mouth expertly, he knows exactly what to do to get your mind to go blank. He’s rough, hands gripping and kneading at your flesh like he can’t get enough.

He pulls away from the kiss to lift your shirt over your head. He wastes no time in pulling the fabric over your head and tossing it to an unknown corner of the living room. When the cool air hits your bare skin you’re overtly aware of your bare form. You two haven’t been intimate since you got pregnant. Your body has changed in ways that admittedly you weren’t fond of. A wave of self conscious that rolls through you when you see Nam-Gyu above you, eyes flitting down your naked from like he’s trying to memorize you.

It makes you want to cover yourself- so you do. Your arms fall over yourself to cover your breasts and stomach, shielding yourself from his gaze. His brows furrow and a growl resounds from his throat. You cant even fight him when he grabs your wrists and pulls your arms away from your body, pinning them to the couch. “Don’t you dare fucking hide from me.” His voice is low, almost threatening, and does nothing to help the wetness that grows between your legs.

“Yeah…that’s it, ma.” He rasps, nodding his head slowly, eyes trained on your body. His hands let go of your wrists, you know better than to move your arms back over your body- he would get up and leave you hot and bothered if you disobeyed- he lets out an accepting hum when you keep your arms by your sides.

“Mmm…beautiful fuckin tits…” he coos in a low, gravely tone, his hands reaching up to grasp at the doughy mounds of flesh. He’s kneading your breasts, you can feel the way his cock is straining against his pants, twitching and growing against your thigh with each movement of his hands. “So swollen now, huh?” He says as he leans down, his mouth latching onto one of your nipples.

You’re so sensitive, it’s almost like an electric jolt that runs up your spine. He hums into your skin when he feels your body shake against him. The breast that isn’t being attacked by his mouth is being kneaded in his hand. He’s pinching your nipple, rolling it between his fingers to bring the bud to a stiff peak. You’re helpless underneath him and his mouth is relentless. He can’t get enough of your enlarged tits, he’s switching his mouth to the breast that once was in his hand- wanting to give the same amount of attention to both of the picturesque tits before him.

He pulls off your nipple with an obscene ‘pop’, the sound only adding to the overwhelming feeling you’re experiencing. All this attention after going months without it, it felt surreal. You knew you should push him off and scold him, kick him out, but it feels so good- you just can’t bring yourself to push him away- it feels too fucking good.

“Mmm,” he hums against your skin, you can feel him begin to grind the forming erection in his pants into your leg as he continues his relentless onslaught of bites and kisses, leaving blue and purple patches that blossom across your skin in his wake. His hands are moving across your body, groping at the doughy flesh like a cat kneading a fluffy pillow. “Gotten so curvy, pretty thing….” He mumbles, biting down particularly hard right under your breast. “Such a good mama…” his lips tickle your skin when he speaks.

You can hear how his words are slurred, his hands are jittery, he’s definitely on something and you know you should stop this and not let him swoon you like every other time he’s stumbled in the door fucked up late at night. He’s doing this to soothe your anger, to get you off his case. At least that’s what you thought.

That wasn’t his motive, although that reasoning could apply- he was really doing it to get your guard to lower. You accused him of cheating, scolded him like a child in his own home, you were gonna feel his anger. And he was strategic, manipulative even, you should be aware of it you’ve been with him long enough…but for some reason you’re not. He looks down at you and he sees you softened, you’re panting under him, pupils dilated like his now, hands gripping the fabric of his shirt like you’re trying to ground yourself.

He makes an insanely quick, rough, combination of movements- shifting one of his legs between your legs, pressing up into your cunt, and one of his hands darts down to grip your neck right under your chin, awkwardly forcing your face upwards to meet his gaze more directly. “….but you don’t know when to shut the fuck up.” He has a sadistic, mocking grin twisted across his lips.

You let out a pathetic, surprised squeak that falls into a moan. The rough fabric of his pants pressing into your throbbing pussy has your eyes crossing and fluttering shut. You reach a hand up to grip at his wrist, opening your eyes to glare up at him with some measly attempt of a scowl, trying not to let him win so easily, trying to not give him the satisfaction of your docility.

“Yeahhh…” he mocks, a wide grin on his face, his hand that grips your neck and jaw wiggles your head around to further his mocking, like he’s rubbing something in, “keep that smartass scowl on your face. So fuckin’ sexy when you’re angry.” He hisses, his free hand comes down and roughly slaps your breast, his eyes watch the flesh recoil and ripple under the impact, and when you arch into the touch and let out a pretty whimper his hand is groping at the plump flesh harshly. Of course your defiant scowl has faltered.

He lets out a low laugh and trails his hand down your stomach, his grip on your neck tightening ever so slightly, “see…can’t even keep it up…ya ain’t mad…” he coos in an annoying, sardonic tone. His hand releases your breast and runs down your stomach, nails dragging into your skin just the slightest bit. His hand grips at the flesh of your stomach- like he’s admiring it, basking in the feeling of your softness in his hand. “No~ you’re not mad…” he continues, hand running over your pubic bone, thumb catching the top of your pussy, just above your clit- pulling up the slightest bit.

His view of your cunt is shrouded by your thighs clenching around his leg that is between them. You’re heaving against his touch squirming your hips into his hand, silently begging for more. “Not mad at all…just needy. Need me to play with your pussy, hm?” He says in a low growl, his thumb inching the slightest bit closer to your clit- still not where you needed it most. You’re ashamed of the little resolve you have left, you’re still trying to twist your face into an angry scowl while writhing under his hand. It’s like your hips have a mind of their own, desperately rolling into his touch even though the rest of your body is telling you to stop this and have some resilience to his ways….but you simply can’t stop.

“You’re acting all mad like ya hate me…...” He says, leaning down closer to you, his hand that was still pinning you to the couch by your neck squeezing more. He shifts his knee, pressing it deeper into your cunt. You let out a wanton sigh in response, your eyes screwing shut as your hips grind mindlessly into his leg. His other hand moves off your pubic bone and runs up your leg. When he gets to your knee he’s shoving your legs apart and parting your other leg open with his knee that was grinding up into your cunt.

It’s such a fast motion that you have no option to fight him. Your glistening pussy is now on full display for him to see. It’s shameful, your folds stick together with your own syrupy arousal, thick streams of wetness seep out of your entrance and begin to drip on the leather couch under you. Nam-gyu’s eyes are captivated by your cunt, he’s biting his lip and breathing heavy like a lion about to eat a bountiful feast of meat- animalistic, primal. “Ohoo~” he says with a mocking tilt of his head, “yeah, you can act mad all you want…but, she’s not mad at me.” He says, his fingers sliding inwards and down your spread leg, pulling your folds to the side to see you fully.

“Ohhhhh….” He drawls out, licking his lips at the sight. His hand on your neck loosens its grip and trails down your body to mirror his other hand, spreading you completely. You’re on full display, there’s no hiding the effect he had on you, there’s no denying that your anger has long since been overrun by lust and need, and he’s staring so hard- it’s so embarrassing. He can see how your cunt clenches around nothing, quivering as if to further show your bashfulness. “Already fucking soaked, what a slut. Barely even have to touch you and your needy pussy’s already crying f’me.”

Your eyebrows turn upwards, you’re biting your lip hard enough to draw blood, trying to keep your noises suppressed. With your lips pulled apart by his thumbs, your puffy clit is on full display. Nam-gyu is cursing to himself, pulling away one hand to hastily undo the button of his pants and unzip the zipper. He’s pushing his boxers and his pants down his thigh to free his aching cock from its confines. He’s thick, veiny, and has a mean upward curve that no matter how hard you try, you can never forget how good it makes your pussy feel.

He pumps his dick a few times, groaning at the sensation. He stops to return his hand back to your inner thigh, thumb brushing up and down in quick motions over your clit. Your hips are immediately canting upwards off the couch, a gasp is pulled from your throat and your nails bite into the couch- threatening to tear the fabric. He would normally bask in that reaction, relish in it, thumb your clit over and over until you’re singing like a song bird for him. But, that was normally; it wasn’t now.

“You better keep your hips still, brat. This isn’t a reward for you.” He barks, looking up at you with dark, narrowed eyes. “I’m jus’ takin whats mine, ‘s not for you.” He scolds, you know he’s still set on punishing you. And for some reason, you let him. You’re looking down at him desperately and panting, eyebrows furrowed together in concentration as you try so hard to keep your hips still so you can get the attention you so desperately need. It’s a downright sinful, completely and utterly desperate expression, your flushed cheeks just the most perfect accessory.

His scowl turns into a wicked grin when he sees the last bit of resilience you have crumble completely and you turn into a pathetic heap on the couch. “Mhmm…” he nods slowly, “S’ what I thought. Just a lil needy thing ain’t ya?” You whine at his words. He’s speaking in a mean, sardonic tone that makes your mine spin. You don’t even think about it, but you find yourself nodding, letting out a muffled ‘mhm’ in hopes of getting on his good side.

He seems to accept your meek response because he’s settling down onto the couch, lowering his face until it’s level with your cunt. You’re gripping the couch and biting your lip until it’s bleeding, trying to keep your hips still. His breath fans over your folds causing a soft mewl to fall from your lips. Your head falls back onto the armrest of the couch as he licks a wide strip up the entirety of your cunt.

He’s groaning into your pussy when he gets his first taste of you. It’s been too long since he’s been buried tongue deep in your sweet cunt, he doesn’t know how he’s gone without it for so long. He doesn’t ease you into it, he doesn’t slowly coax soft whines from your throat- no, he’s delving in and eating you like a man starved. His tongue is vicious, licking through your folds, teasing your entrance, only to trace back up and twirl in mind-numbing figure eights against your clit.

“O-oh my god…” you breathlessly moan, thighs closing around his head. His eyes roll back and flutter closed when he feels the soft, thick flesh of your thighs tighten against his head. He wraps his arms around your thighs, dragging you up and down his flat tongue, slurping down every drop of arousal that seeps from your pussy. His lips wrap around your clit, sucking it into his mouth. The sensation makes you jump and moan out a broken call of his name, your hips grinding down on his tongue in a pathetic attempt to seek even more pleasure.

When he feels your hips cant upwards, chasing his tongue he’s growling into your pussy. Hands splaying across your lower stomach to push your hips down- a warning. “Keep fuckin’ still.” He hisses, his words vibrating against your clit. Nam-gyu makes a show of eating your cunt. He’s messy, making obscene slurping sounds as he coaxes more and more sticky arousal from your spasming walls. This wasn’t for you, this was for him. He was going to enjoy the heavenly flavor of your cunt his way. You want to grind against his tongue, become impossibly closer to him and sink his tongue deep within your walls- you know if you do, you’ll be going against his orders. He’s deliberately making this a challenge for you. He wants you to disobey him. Wants you to give him even more of a reason to fuck you into complete submission.

When you feel his tongue begin to prod its way into your entrance, you’re keening and bringing a hand up to cover your mouth. You muffle your wrecked moans as he tongue fucks you. It’s such a devine feeling for him, your cunt clenching around his tongue, the flavor of you covering his tastebuds, thick thighs clenching around his head, pussy wetting his chin, and nose breathing in your scent as he grinds it into your clit. All of it reminds him of why even after all the horrible shit he’s put you through, he’s never cheated and he always returns home to you. He wants to savor it, draw it out. Maybe you’ve learned your lesson and he can be nice- give you both what you want.

But he can’t, because you’re sobbing out muffled pleas from behind the hand that covers your mouth and jerking your hips up, swiveling them down on his tongue to try and drive him even deeper into your walls. You don’t even mean to do it but when you realize you were going against his orders it’s too late.

His dark eyes peer up at you through thick lashes, you can feel the sadistic grin that twists across his lips against your sopping folds, you know you fucked up. You pull your hand away from your mouth, “N-no, no, ‘m s-sorry. Can’t help it! Y-you’re not making it easy!” You’re pleading with him as he’s pulling away from your cunt. “P-please! I n-need it.” You try to beg more, trying to get back on his good side and get his tongue back against your clit but he doesn’t accept your offer

Nam-Gyu sits back up on his knees, his hands moving up to your waist and squeezing, “I gave you more than enough chances…” he coos, eerily sweet, “was eating your sweet cunt good, wasn’t I?” He scoffs with a raise of his eyebrow. You nod frantically, your hands reaching down to cover his, running up his arms, trying to sweeten him up, “Mhm! S-so good! ‘S why I couldn’t keep still!” You praise, batting your eyelashes up at him.

You think for a split second that you managed to win him back over, a relief washes over you when you think you’re going to be granted the salvation of his tongue on your throbbing pussy once again. But his grin widens and his hand slide down, grasping at your hips with a primal grip.

“Well, since you want to act like a bitch in heat…” he says, the low timbre of his voice sends shivers violently jolting through your whole body. You’re suddenly picked up off the couch by your hips and flipped over. You inwardly scold yourself at how you almost instantly fall into a position on all fours with your back deeply arched. You hear him scoff at your eagerness, “…then you’re gonna be fucked like a bitch in heat.”

When his sentence finishes you can feel him drag the bulbous tip of his cock between your folds, mixing your arousal and his pre-cum into a stick mess that coats your pussy. You let out a shaky breath, you can feel your heartbeat in your throat. Pushing your hips back, you whine, trying to sink him into your heat. But you weren’t the one in charge here…he was.

He was going to make sure you felt every, single inch of his cock sink into your tight cunt. And he was going to savor you desperately trying to fuck yourself back onto his cock like you have no other thought on your mind other than to be fucked.

“Already makin’ such a mess on my cock. You were so mouthy earlier…” he begins to slowly sink into your cunt only to pull all the way back, “…so bold, all up in my face…” he pushes back in to the tight ring of your pussy ever so slightly, “…so feisty.” And with that, his cockhead finally slips into your cunt. It makes a sickening, wet sucking sound as your pussy greedily sucks him in. “Now look at you.”

A moan is ripped from your throat, the extensive period of time that you have gone without fucked and the devilishly slow entrance of just his tip into your sopping walls already has your toes curling. A moan is ripped from your lips as you drop your chest fully onto the couch, your back arched sinfully deep for him, pressing him deeper into you.

“‘S just the tip and you’re already creamin’ around me like a slut…” He muses, leaning forward a bit to grab both of your arms and cross them behind your back. Both your wrists are restrained by one of his hands. You gasp as your pulled upwards, your face pulled off the leather of the couch. “Heh…. I’m gonna break ya sweetheart…”

His hips become flush with yours in a split second, his cock is balls deep within your cunt. The sudden intrusion has you letting out a silent sob. Instantly, you’re so very full. Nam-gyu is stretching you around him, molding your pussy to the shape of him, removing the thought of leaving him from your mind completely. How could you when he filled you up oh so perfectly.

He stays balls deep inside you for a moment, bringing his hips to a slow grind. “Yeahhh….that’s it… ya feel how deep I am?” He asks, his voice rough and breathy, “Only I can give this pussy what she needs…” he growls, pulling his cock all the way out and then immediately slamming right back in. You’re crying out, eyes crossing and your vision goes hazy. “I’m the only one who can cum in your greedy cunt….” He says, repeating the same motion. When he’s back to being balls deep inside you, he’s leaving over your back and bringing his lips ring next to your ear, “you carried my child.”

He’s emphasizing the word “my” by rolling his hips against your ass, grinding the tip of his cock against your cervix. You hated it, but he was right, the moment you carried and gave birth to his child- you were his. From the moment you two met- you were his.

You’re moaning helplessly, gasping an incoherent mix of his name and curses, you’re becoming boneless in his grasp. It feels so fucking good. He gives you no time to adjust before he’s sitting back up and pumping his cock in and out of your tight cunt. The thrusts are vicious, mean even, his thick girth is stretching you impossibly wide and your pussy welcomes him openly, greedily sucking him in.

“Mhm…there you go…she missed me didn’t she?” Nam-gyu rasps, using his grip on your wrists to drag you back to meet every single one of his hard thrusts. His eyes are focused downwards, he’s entranced by the ripple of your ass everytime it comes back to meet his hips. You’re much thicker, curvier, softer than before. Pregnancy had changed your body in ways that sparked a primal hunger inside of him.

You helplessly sob out, the overwhelming pleasure completely taking over your body. Your hips are pushing back to meet his thrusts, trying to sink his cock impossibly deeper into your tight heat. He laughs from above you, realizing your desperation for more. “Greedy fuckin’ thing…” he growls, it’s a dark, gravely tone that sends goosebumps down your arms, “what, ‘s not enough for you?” He chides like you’re giving him a challenge, you can hear the sadistic grin that is spread across his lips.

You’re gasping, shaking your head frantically “n-no ‘s e-enough! ‘S so good!” You try to plead with him by praising his efforts, fearing the impending overstimulation that is about to be thrown on you. He’s drawing his hips back until just the tip of his cock is inside you, he’s humming like he’s thinking to himself. “Hmm…” he lets out, just trusting his cockhead inside your sopping pussy, “you can still talk…so I don’t think it’s enough.” You can hear the mocking pout in his voice, teasing you further.

Nam-gyu lets go of your wrists he was holding behind your back, hands finding their spot on your hips, squeezing the doughy flush in his fists. He’s pile driving his hips flush against your ass in one thrust, sinking balls deep into your gushing cunt. Instantly, he’s stretching you deliciously, pushing into your spasming walls until the tip of his cock is flush against your cervix. A wrecked sob rips through your throat and you’re falling forward onto the leather couch.

He leaves you no time to gather yourself, his hips draw back until just the tip is inside you and then thrusting balls deep inside your warm cunt in rapid, devious strokes. As much as you wish it wasn’t true, he knows your body like the back of his own hand, he knows every little thing that makes you tick, he knows just how to make you cream around his cock- and he wants to make you a mess. He’s driving his thrust upwards at a mean angle, making sure every thrust is hitting that sweet spot deep inside you. All you can do is moan out pathetic babbles of his name and praises.

“Yeahhhh, that’s it…” he coos mockingly, his hips slamming into you at a brutal pace, “‘s all you needed huh? A good fucking to calm you down.” His tone is hushed, his hands are leaving a bruising grip on your hips. He can’t keep his eyes off the way your ass jiggles with every thrust, the way his cock disappears between the soft flesh and reappears covered in your syrupy arousal.

Admittedly, he was right, you did need this. It had been months since you two fucked and the way his cock was stretching you out, hammering against the deepest spot within you, had your body so overwhelmed. Your hand is clasped helplessly over your mouth, muffling the moans that spill from your lips. His grip on the globes of your ass is nearly painful, using it as leverage to pull you back onto him.

“Missed this fucking pussy..” he growls from behind you, “reminds me of why I got you fucking pregnant…” he rambles on, “gripping me so tight, s’impossible to pull out.”

His words make your eyes roll into the back of your head. Every thrust of his hips bullies his cock up against your cervix in a way that has you gasping for air. You’re sobbing incoherently against your hand, every drag of his thick cock reminded you of how you even got to this point in the relationship- the dick was insanely good.

He releases one of your hips to slap your ass, it’s a resounding smack that stings and has the flesh recoiling under the contact, “fucking hell….” He muses, one of his hands coming up and brushing his hair back out of his face, his eyes never straying from the view of your ass slamming against his hips. “Fuck yourself back against me..c’mon, wanna see it.” He rasps out.

He slows his thrusts, nearly stopping completely. Chasing a high you haven’t felt in ages, your body complies. You immediately begin thrusting back, impaling yourself on his thick cock. It’s a delicious, devine stretch that has you biting the palm of your hand. You repeat the motion, speeding up with every wet slap of your hips against his. “Good fuckin’ girl.” Nam-Gyu is praising.

You can feel yourself getting closer to the delicious release of your orgasm, it’s quick, embarrassingly so, but you’re stretched so full and every time you sink him balls deep into your tight heat- a mind numbing wave of pleasure is sent up your spine. It’s an addictive feeling that you keep chasing desperately without even realizing it. You’re speeding up the backwards thrust of your hips, every time you meet his thighs with your ass a wet ‘clap’ resounds through the room.

“O-h fuck, that’s it… j-just like that. D-don’t you dare fucking stop.” Nam-gyu hisses out, a hand coming to thread itself in your hair and form a fist. He cranks your head back, a silent scream falls from your lips as you keep up the motion of your hips, sinking your cunt down onto him. You couldn’t stop even if you wanted to. “Look at that fucking ass…” He muses, praising the body you were worried he didn’t even like.

He’s leaning forward a bit, his head hooking over your shoulder so his lips were right by your ear. His new position causes the movement of your hips to still, he picks up the slack by rolling his hips into a slow grind. “Gonna cum so f-fucking deep in your cunt.” He growls into your ear. You can hear that he has his teeth clenched, he’s speaking through his teeth like you and your pussy would be the death of him. “O-ohhhhhh, you like that… can feel you squeezing me..y-you want me to cum inside?” He pants, the hand in your hair turns your head to the side so he can leave harsh bites along the column of your neck as he grinds his cock impossibly deeper into you.

“C’mon answer me.. wan’ me to cum in you? Get you pregnant again…” He mocks, “…keep ya like this.” He growls lowly, his hand releasing your hair to grip at the fat of your hips and lower stomach, he’s even punctuating his words with a devious roll of his hips that grinds his cock into your g-spot. A wanton whine falls from your lips. Your back arches even more, deepening into a sinful curve that has Nam-Gyu spinning.

You should say no, call him some name and tell him to go fuck himself. “Nnghh… f-fuck y-yes!” You cry out in a hushed plea, you can’t help it. You need it. trying to thrust back onto his cock. You can feel how wet you were, making a mess of the backs of your thighs and the couch below you. “I-inside please!” You sob, eyebrows knitted together in a pleasured expression. You need so badly to once again experience the feeling of his thick cum filling you.

With both hands holding your hips he’s drawing your body back violently, impaling you on his girth. Every thrust is echoed by a lewd, sticky, ‘schlick’ sound that only proves how much of an influence he has on you. His cock has a mean curve that reaches so deep within you it has you seeing stars. The warmth of your orgasm beginning to blossom over your body and tingle deep within your cunt.

Every time he draws back his hips he’s dragging his cock out of your sopping walls until just the tip rests in your fluttering entrance then driving his hips forward to sink balls deep into you. You know you’re about to cum, embarrassingly fast. Moan after moan falls from your lips as your eyes cross and roll back in pure bliss. “T-that’s it, make a mess on my cock f’me.” Nam-gyu growls through clenched teeth, one hand reaching around to rub quick circles on your clit. The feather light touches that glide across your throbbing bundle of nerves is enough to send you over the edge.

“Ohmygodholyfuck.” You babble out incoherently, fingers digging into the fabric of the couch as you fall head first into a violent orgasm. Your pussy flutters around his cock, squeezing him like a vice. “Mhmm…f-fuck yeah that’s it…” He hisses, his thrusts becoming sloppy, his other hand on your hips drops under you to grab at your swollen tits in frantic motions, the feeling of the doughy flesh in his hands jiggling with each of his thrusts is all it takes to drive him over the edge.

He’s working you through your orgasm with skilled fingers, your body shaking against his as he cums deep inside your cunt. You can feel it, it’s so much. It fills you even more than his cock already did, coating your gummy walls in its milky white color.

He thrusts lazily a few more times, making sure he properly fucks his cum into your spasming cunt. Your body is shaking and jolting violently against the couch, you can hear the obscene, wet, ‘plap’ of the mixture of your cum and his falling out of your cunt and hitting the sofa below you. The room is filled with alternating heavy breaths and the smell of sex. He slides his hands up and down your sides before resting back on your hips and slowly grinding his cock into you. He can barely bring himself to pull out, the warmth of your cunt is literally sucking him in. He can hear your overstimulated whines of protest with each slow roll of his hips and it drives him wild.

Eventually, he too gets overstimulated- your cunt is simply too good, his personal drug he’s addicted to, his own vice (but he’s never tell you that)- he’s pulling out his softening cock with a hiss, sitting back on his heels to watch his cum slowly seep out of your pussy that still is gaped with the shape of his cock. He groans, eyes rolling back into his skull as he tries to imprint the visual in his brain.

He collapses back onto the couch, one hand on your hip to make you follow suit, gently landing back first on his chest. You try to catch your breath, limply turning yourself over to fall back onto him. When you tuck yourself into his side his arm drapes over your waist. He places a kiss on the top of your head that’s so quick and gentle that you almost can’t feel it. You nuzzle his head onto his chest, you can hear the rapid thrum of his heartbeat. You can’t form words. All you can do is let out a shaky sigh. It’s quiet in the room, only sound you can hear is your heaving breaths that eventually fall into sync with each other.

“You have got to change.” You say, the edge in your voice just emphasizes that you’re hanging on by the thinnest thread possible. You want this to work out- you do- you love him and you adore your child. You want to be a regular family.

“I know.” He says, his voice breathless. His arm tightens around the curve of your waist, pulling you into him like you might suddenly get up and run away-because you might- he can tell with your voice it’s different this time, you’re serious. And he wants to change, he does…he just doesn’t know if he has it in him.

I hope you guys enjoyed this one 😙😙😙 I really appreciate all of y’all’s support it means so much!! I’m working through the requests I have and whipping up some noice fics! Yall have fantastic minds 😩 all the requests are so scrumptious

Im trying to gather all my marbles after being sick so the queue I had goin is a little wonky. im working through it and will update yall on said queue of requests next post! Love yew guys !! - kiwi

[somewhereincairparavel]

hot take but I will always hate the concept of percy getting elected as praetor with having spent so less time in camp jupiter, while jason spent the same amount of time in chb and still wasn't able to fill in the gaps percy left, but percy seemingly did for jason in camp jupiter, and how replaceable jason was shown as, despite the fact that he spent 12 years, and trained as a TODDLER. i swear if I see some "joke" about percy surpassing jason in a week COMPLETELY ignoring that it's a very obvious gary sue moment written by rick I'll get so salty. it's one of the many inconsistencies of hoo.

because not only does it scream main character favouritism from rick (with making percy fit into everything somehow with zero plot holes) people ONLY say "jason was replacing percy" but apparently acting like percy wasn't? they were BOTH sent to replace eachother, temporarily atleast.

it's the fact that romans are showed to be very choosy in selecting praetors, which is why it took jason so long to become one despite his reputation. the camp just randomly hailing percy (a greek, people whom they hate) as their leader with zero hesitation whatsoever DESPITE the presence of octavian is weird. considering how much they opposed frank, a ROMAN going on an important quest, deeming him unworthy, despite hearing mars, literal GOD giving them orders to send frank, they were still very adamant in not sending him. so we can see that romans bend their rules for no one.

yes percy accomplished something GREAT and deserved the position as much as jason did, but if you take into consideration how the romans were written in the books, they were the type of people to ignore efforts people made if it meant the people were going against their "traditional" values. going by that logic, rick made them contradict their own views just for the purpose of elevating percy, and instilling this sense of superiority over jason.

knowing that the target audience wouldn't want jason to be on the same level as percy, which is strange because rick also meant to write jason and percy as foils of eachother, so shouldn't they be given equal amounts of importance? or just don't write them as foils at all if you want percy to have leverage over jason so bad? like pick a side.

if percy can be made a praetor with a week's time and have golden treatment in an enemy camp that accepts no one in easily (as opposed to chb who's more accepting) then why ISN'T jason held up like a hero in chb if percy is? (nah don't bombard me with the "camp half blood is loyal! unlike camp jupiter, rick wrote percy getting held up to point out that difference between the camps loyalty" bs we are just making up excuses and stories to make sense of the bad writing, who knows if rick even thought through all that, considering how inconsistent he is in books after pjo)

how come chb, whos main trait was written as loyalty to the campers never changed when it came to jason being there? jason got good friends, sure. but the camp NEVER saw him as a replacement to percy and there was some tension with him popping out of nowhere right when percy disappeared. jason was accepted in camp, but he wasn't hailed like a hero there the way percy was.

but camp jupiter, who's traits were extremely traditional values and rules that was never changed or messed with in the past was randomly tailored to percy's advantage? jason was hailed as the pinnacle of the true image of rome, and them replacing him with an unconventional greek hero within a WEEK seems so contradictory and just screams bad writing. why is the fandom giving this portion of the bad writing a pass when it clearly wastes the potential of the characters who aren't percy or annabeth? also this is NOT a percy hate post before y'all flood my inbox with threats, just pointing out one of the many inconsistencies of heroes of olympus.

[fucking-brains-out]

Is anyone going to contribute? no? ok imma do it myself  (also I changed Danny names in this since I think that his name has to be more Arabic)  Warning 1000 words 

bad translator of arabic

Danny thought that his life couldn't get more complicated but no, apparently being a half ghost means your afterlife is also weird, he had to be reincarnated into a cult involving corrupted ectoplasm, sure why not and to make it more weird he was born a girl and first born of the daughter of the leader and his Grandfather Ra  

Dalia Al-Guhl is his name here but secretly he calls himself Danyal (he liked more than Daniel to be honest) 

Even in his new life he still has his ghost powers but because of the corrupted ectoplasm is making him sick, he was going to be scarified if it were not from his mother who intervein in, now he is head healer of the league he is known as the Shadow healer (bear with me ok?)  the only good thing about of the league is his baby brother, his Akhi, his Najam, Damian  

Ever since he was a baby Danny has taken care of him, when his mother was in a mission or simply to watch him, he tells him the story of his old life, he told him about stories of his father that his mother told him too, when he was sick Damian make an effort in visit him and when he was better he would sneak Damian in his hidden space where he would watch the stars (Talia knew about the hidden space but wouldnt tell his father about it her dear Dalia had already too much in her place) he would bring him there with him and tell him about the stars he would call him his Polaris and Damian would call him Ursa since he was his big brother   

(“Why am I Polaris?”  

“Because you're my little brother” 

“I'm not little” 

“Yes you are look how tall you are”  

“Tt” 

“Hehe”) 

He would train with his mother when he wasn't sick, Talia despite the circumstances is a good mother, she always looked at him in a way that he knows is a face of proud parent (and if that didn't make him miss his mom) he has tea with her and trains with her, when he is sick he comes to visit him and take care of him (since one time an traitor tried to poison him, good thing he realized and his mother took care of them) sometimes she takes him to minor missions   (“Why do you always help me mother? I know there's a reason for that” 

He sees her pause  

Because my dear Dalia, you and I aren't so different”)  

He can't say the same thing of his grandfather, it makes seem Vlad like a minor thing, he is the fruitloop of fruitloops, he hates his grandfather so much but what he can do? Nothing even if his mother interferes, he has the final saying which sucks because his grandfather can be the most sexist motherfucker ever and a fucking asshole (it doesn't help he is a fucking immortal, when he gets all his strength back, he will brag his rusty ass into the Realms) he always make sure to get a challenge of sorts and if he doesn't make it he will judge him, he hates it, even if he admits he is very skilled that's not good enough for him  

He really misses Damian; he got really sick a time ago he couldn't even leave his bed, in that time his brother had gotten permission to go to their father Damian said he wouldnt go if he didn't come but grandfather prohibited, he was too weak and he still hadn't proved himself to the standards, mother also tried but it was final, he will not go, Damian was very upset but he consoled him that he could write to him anytime, he promised him that he would find a way to join him with his father. That was the last time he saw his brother, he writes to him to time to time but it's not the same and they know it, he is happy that Damian has adapted well to his father family (he also corrects him in certain things, no Damian just because you want to be Robin doesn't mean you have to duel Timothy, don't be mean to our brothers) , he misses him dearly he... he wishes to be there with him, his mother tells him to train more so grandfather approves him to go, but to be honest he thinks she tells him this because so he doesn't lose hope, but it has been 4 years he trying  to do more mission so grandfather can consider it  

Right now, he is on a mission, he has to dispose some traitors that are keeping the pits in restricted in an unknow location, grandfather says the levels of a Lazarus pits have been weird, so he sent him to kill the nuisances (even tho he knows that the pits makes him sick) mother would have go in his place but she was in another mission (how convenient isn't? Can you hear the sarcasm) anyways he is near the place where the pits are, the guards weren't that of an issue and it seem it as the leader wasn't here, but he still has to check the pits, he really hates them, he can't even filter them honestly- 

Time in 

He looks at shock at Clockwork, who he hasn't seen in so long 

“Danyal Al-Guh, Daniel Fenton, Danny Phantom, it's good to see you again” 

“Clocky” he jumps in his arms of the older ghost  

“Danyal, I have carried news, news that you won't like very much”   “What happened?” already in edge  

“There was an accident with princess Ellie, she was seriously hurt fortunate she was able to just retrieved to her core but there's a possibility of breaking” says somberly   The room got colder as frost came from his feet   “What can I do?”  

“You must carry Ellie core in your own, she will reform acondently but the consequences is that she will be reform as an human baby” he brings out his baby core, she has that light green color that she loves so much  

He, honestly expect it, its almost impossible to a ghost heal once they're retread in their cores and if they do reform it takes time  

“I accept” he touches his daughter core and it disappears from his hand, he feels her in his own, she is happy to see him again 

“Now Danyal, you must flee the League of Assassins their ectoplasm can damage Eli in this form, I suggest you go to your brother, be aware to explain the situation to Lady Gotham”  

He nods, he had already come to that conclusion 

“Can you deliver some letters? I have to explain to mother and Damian”  Clockwork nods “Of course”   

*Sometime later*  

He gives the letters to CW and banish, time begins to flow in normal again and flees the place, he goes to one of his hideouts and begins to prepare, he cuts his long hair and changes his clothes to a more comfortable ones, once he is done, he will go to Gotham 

“I'm coming home my Polaris”   

Prompt #12

Okay I have seen a few things of Damien and Danny being siblings but most of the time they are twins but that is not the angle that I’m currently going for since I do remember reading once when Danny was Damien’s older brother some time ago  and  I’m going to throw in some trance Danny misunderstandings with baby elly but a lot more interference from clockwork

so Danny was reborn as Danielle al Ghul and for some reason he was born female but he did not care since he could just simply proclaim himself trance when he’s older, he knows he’s a baby he still has all  his memories from his first life and his time as the ghost King but he sees this as a vacation  that will take an entire lifetime but a vacation non  the less one that finally will let him relax hopefully.

but unfortunately he was born to a family that worships a thing known as a Lazarus pit   a hole  of disgusting, old  ectoplasm that has become corrupted, not to mention he found out later he was born into a league of assassins, and these two things wouldn’t really be a problem since he still has his durability and enhanced senses so he could avoid getting killed, and  he thought  the ectoplasm  would not affect him but unfortunately due to how old and disgusting it was it was making him sick so from when he was a baby he was ill and obviously his grandfather saw this as a liability but his mother somehow convinced his grandfather that he might have inherited his biological father’s intelligence so he might be useful for something other than one day taking over the league of assassins, and that she would simply try and bear another child in order to get the perfect heir,

when Danny was 4 his mother gave birth to his little brother Damien who unlike him was not affected by the Lazarus water so was the perfect  heir in his grandfather’s eyes.

They both were still being trained Damien obviously because he was supposed to be the next heir of the league of assassins but Danny was being trained more in intelligence and healing but it does not mean his assassin training didn’t happen and to the surprise of everyone he was keeping up with his training  the only thing is his illness made it difficult for him to gain his grandfather’s approval since Danny would randomly faint or start coughing up blood.

Also despite constant attempts to keep Danny and Damien apart most of these attempts being done by  grandfather they had a good relationship and Danny had become the league of assassins head healer by the age of 12 and his grandfather, Ra's al Ghul could admit that Danny was not as useless as he once said but despite that Danny’s condition was getting worse, so much that by the time Damien was 10 and about to leave to go to his father Danny could not leave his bed.

okay so a time skip happens of 4 years and this is where I’m going to have to explain on how elly fits into the story, so something happens in elly  gets put into her core and while Danny is on a mission clockwork gets in touch with him again and explained the situation with elly and explains that she needs to be incubated a.k.a. he has to carry her like a normal human baby and Danny Seeing this is a chance to reunite with his daughter along with to get away from the league of assassins makes a plan and stages something that makes it look like he got (assaulted) when in reality all that happen is that he absorbed elly’s core,now for his plan to get away from the league of assassins

he writes a letter to Damien explaining the situation blaming their grandfather for the entire thing by stating that he had been getting worse and   grandfather had sent him on the mission regardless to a place that was honestly more dangerous than he could handle in his much weaker state and now things have happened ( he does not mention that he is pregnant technically since it would be too early to know that for a normal human)

Damien having lived for 4 years with his father and siblings had learned that most of the things the league of assassins did was not okay and receiving this letter from his brother that he had kept secret from his family because he honestly thought that his brother was safe and he did not see a point in telling them about Daniel, was absolutely furious how could grandfather do this, Daniel was a cherished member of the league of assassins she was the best healer, what would be the reason for grandfather to put him in such danger and then he would think Daniel had always been strong his fighting prowess was that on almost the same level as mother  the only reason it wasn’t better was because he was ill and to be honest if he was not ill he probably would’ve far surpassed grandfather,  Damien comes to the conclusion that grandfather was scared of Daniel and was purposely keeping him sick and putting him in dangerous situations just to keep him in line, Damien would not accept this and would immediately set up a meeting with his father so that they can rescue Daniel.

[morganakang444]

౨ৎ don‘t hate the player (pt 3)

꒰ ꒱ྀི synopsis: you don‘t want me? fine. the two of us can play that game.

the heartthrob of the campus had finally set his eyes on y/n. she was going to be his next victim, to fall for him and assume she can fix him moments before she finds herself ghosted. but y/n knew all too well…too bad she only captures heeseung‘s heart after beating him at his own game. that’s when she learns: don’t hate the player. hate the game.

prev | next

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ⋆˚࿔ ᝰ.ᐟ

wc: 8204 (oops)

꒰ ꒱ྀི genre/warnings: bit of angst, fluff, cursing, yn gets drunk

꒰ ꒱ྀི an: the final part is here !! i hope you guys liked this series, i‘ve been busy asf with skl and lacking motivation so i‘m sorry this took forever :( it’s also kinda rushed TT anyway, i‘m working on more stories as we speak, and requests are always open 🫡

calls, texts, and late night facetime between yn and heeseung became the norm for the week up until their date.

to yn, this was all still part of her elaborate plan. at this point, she no longer cared if heeseung was playing around with her or not. because as long as she got to cut him off first, she would win.

friday night before the date, yn and heeseung were once again on facetime, not a single moment being awkward between them.

yn was in her dorm kitchenette, looking for a midnight snack after studying for the past three hours.

"there‘s nothing in here…" yn sighed. "i thought karina would go shopping…"

heeseung chuckled as yn slammed shut the practically empty fridge. "you hungry?"

yn nodded, holding her hand to her stomach. "no shit, that’s why i‘m in the kitchen…" she laughed.

yn could see heeseung stand up from his laying down position on his bed before he spoke up. "i‘m getting you something then." his tone left no room for arguing.

"like…food? heeseung you don’t have to—"

"no, yn. i can go to the store and buy you sushi real quick and drop it off. you need to eat." heeseung‘s voice was commanding, and he was already out the door and down the dorm hall by the time he finished his sentence.

"fine…" yn sighed. she placed her hands together and put her face close to the camera as she spoke timidly, "can you see if they have that roll with the salmon?"

heeseung chuckled. "of course i can. i‘ll see you in about 15, beautiful." he gave yn a small wave before hanging up, earning an eager smile from yn who quickly dashed back to her dorm room (that she thankfully had to herself because of karina staying with yunjin,) and brushed out her hair, and put on a bit of gloss. she didn’t bother changing out of her pajamas, not seeing a reason since heeseung just saw her in the oversized band tee and shorts over the phone.

within 15 minutes yn laid on her bed, scrolling through her pinterest feed when she heard an expected knock on the front door. in a swift motion, yn threw her phone across her bed and made her way towards the door, gliding across the wooden floors on her socks. she opened up, greeting heeseung with a big smile. he looked so…handsome, oddly. not in the way yn had always seen him as "attractive but not attracted to," but there was something like a magnet pulling her in, and she had to fight the urge to not push away.

heeseung’s black hair was slightly messy as if it had been ruffled and not fixed, and he stood in his black hoodie and dark gray sweatpants that nearly covered his feet that wore a pair of socks and black nike slides.

grasped in his left hand was a bag with food inside which he held up with a childish smile to show the shorter girl in front of him.

"yayyy my food!! come in…" yn spoke excitedly, bouncing slightly in anticipation as heeseung came in, setting the bag down on a side table by yn‘s bed.

"so excited to see your food but not me, huh?" heeseung teased, smirking in yn‘s direction.

yn didn’t look at heeseung and made her way towards the bag, straight away opening up the pack of sushi. "ew don’t say that. you sound like a pick me boy.." she laughed.

heeseung chuckled alongside her. "i guess you got a point…" he sighed mockingly. "that’s what every girl says…" he huffs, putting on a heavy sarcastic tone, shifting his body language to act like the archetype yn just described.

yn finally looked up at heeseung who had his toes pointed together and was hugging himself with a pout on his face, trying his hardest to not bust out laughing.

"ew!" yn exclaimed, hitting heeseung‘s arm, who finally broke character and hollered a laugh, ever so slightly stumbling back at yn‘s smack to his bicep. "you‘re so weird.." yn smirked, sitting down on the edge of her bed. she pat the spot next to her for heeseung to sit at. he joined her, sitting close but still letting a small amount of space between them.

weird..yn thought as she noticed. the heeseung she knew would have sat on top of her practically—and taken another chance to stick his hands down her pants. was he really a changed man? no—no he wasn’t…yn couldn’t give in to his gentleman act before he could give into hers.

"you look like a little boy.." heeseung snickered, ruffling yn‘s hair softly before fixing the strays that got messed up.

yn playfully scoffed. "just a part of my charm…" she popped another piece of sushi into her mouth. heeseung laughed quietly, a genuine smile spread across his face. "you’re cute, though.." he spoke sincerely as he grabbed a bag of chips from the bag of food he brought.

"yeah, i hear that a lot.." yn retorted in a mock arrogant tone, batting her long eyelashes.

"oh, and so humble too!" heeseung clapped back, his hand on his chest.

yn laughed, laying back against her headboard. "would you still like me if i had six toes on each foot?" yn giggled, bringing her sock covered foot up to heeseung‘s shoulder, poking him with her big toe. heeseung chortled, letting yn provoke him further. "sure. not like i gotta look at your toes all the time."

"what if i had super hairy arms and legs? or a unibrow?"

"i would. anything suits you. even a liam gallagher style unibrow and the body of a bear." he smiled softly.

yn slightly pouted, taken aback but still in an amount of awe at heeseung‘s sincerity. but as quickly as her demeanor faltered, yn regained her composure, not letting heeseung‘s sweet words sink in too deep.

"you really know how to sweet talk.." yn spoke, sitting up with her arms folded, a trace of skepticism in her tone.

heeseung shrugged. "it just comes naturally when i‘m with someone i like."

yn rolled her eyes before placing her last bite of sushi in her mouth, leaning forward to grab a can of dr. pepper from the bag heeseung brought.

she snickered as she leaned back to her previous position, opening her can of soda with a loud pop!

"you know my favorite soda?" yn smiled, bringing the can to her moisturized lips. heeseung nodded slightly. "yeah. you mentioned it a couple days ago on the phone." he gave her a slight smile. one that seemed shy, almost. like heeseung was timid all of a sudden. that was strange…heeseung was being strange. where was the cocky piece of work yn met a month ago?

yn just nodded back, bringing the soda back down on her table. she didn’t even remember mentioning her love for dr. pepper.

"let’s watch a movie," yn almost blurted, changing the subject. "sit up here." yn tugged at the sleeve of heeseung’s oversized hoodie, making him crawl over next to yn. the girl draped a blanket over the two of them, letting herself grow comfortable with heeseung‘s company, any ounce of lingering tension melting away between them as heeseung’s toned arm draped around yn‘s shoulders loosely.

putting on the movie 27 dresses, yn and heeseung ate the snacks he bought and talked through it, making fun of characters and the plot of the story.

and as the movie continued on into the late hours of night and early hours of the morning, yn slowly drifted off to sleep, curling herself into heeseung‘s side, allowing herself to be cocooned between his arm around her and his torso.

heeseung felt yn‘s soft breath on his waist, and peered down to view the woman beside him, her hair perfectly splayed around her and the neckline of her big tshirt hanging around her shoulder, leaving her smooth, soft skin exposed to the soft light of the lamp beside them.

with a soft, affectionate smile, heeseung decided to not overstay his welcome and turned off yn‘s laptop that the movie was playing on, and gently sat up, adjusting yn‘s body so her head was resting on an actual pillow and not the mattress. quickly pulling out his phone, heeseung sent yn a text he knew she‘d see in the morning.

heeseung: hey beautiful, u fell asleep so i decided to let u rest. can‘t wait to see u on our date, sleep well 💓

heeseung tucked the girl in, leaving a feather light, lingering kiss to her forehead. he pulled back, gazing at yn‘s sleeping form with affection dancing in his dark brown eyes. this wasn’t a game to heeseung anymore. too bad yn wasn’t awake to realize it.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

afternoon approached, leaving yn in her habit of sleeping in until noon. stretching her limbs, letting the feeling of sleep wash over her, looking around to see heeseung was not there. she frowned, a little disappointed he wasn’t with her still, too tired to fight off the slight sadness that built within her, or question why it’s there.

reaching for her phone under her pillow, yn looked at her lockscreen, seeing a message from heeseung sent around 12 hours ago.

she quickly sat up, opening the text up snd reading the sweet words on her screen. a smile subconsciously spread across yn‘s face as her eyes darted across the grey bubble.

yn‘s fingers immediately started typing, her heart beating in rhythm of each tap her thumbs danced across her screen.

yn: awe, tysm heeseung that’s so sweet, i thought u ditched me at first lol 🙁💕 i can’t wait to see you tn 🫶

yn put her phone down, the feeling of warmth igniting inside her chest like a match being lit. as she rubbed her eyes, her phone started to buzz continually, and as she picked it up again she saw heeseung‘s name on the screen facetiming her. of course she picked up.

"missed me already?" yn giggled, rubbing her eyes as she turned off her camera, not wanting him to see her in this fresh out of bed state.

"awe, ynnn," heeseung started, his voice taking on a pleading tone, "turn your camera back on—i wanna see your face.."

yn shook her head despite him not being able to see her. "no, i look like shit heeseung. i just woke up—you‘ll see me later tonight in my prettiest state, yeah?"

heeseung shook his head. "i wanna see you now though. please! i will go crazy if i don‘t get my required fill of you today!" heeseung placed his hands together as if he were begging, lowering his head.

"you‘re so corny," yn laughed.

"only for the woman i want," heeseung spoke confidently, lifting his head back up in hopes yn turned on her camera.

with an eye roll yn pressed her camera button and revealed herself in all her morning glory.

her hair was uncombed and slightly tangled from the one side she slept on all night, and her efforts to finger comb all the knots. her t-shirt fell over her shoulder and she had slightly watery eyes from digging out a few morning eye boogers and a shine to her skin from all the oils that built up in her sleep. she was real, and she was beautiful. so so beautiful. especially to heeseung.

heeseung immediately snatched his phone with a quickness of flash himself and started to take photos of yn‘s fresh form, which startled the poor girl into tossing her phone across her bed.

"heeseung you‘re so annoying!" yn yelled, a wave of embarrassment and affection washing over her.

"oh but you look so beautiful!" heeseung stated with a firmness to his voice, like when you see a cute animal and you wanna smother it.

in this cute moment yn‘s door started to unlock and open, revealing karina in a disheveled state, her makeup from last night still on and her hair in knots and tangles.

"oh..you look like you had fun with yunjin.." yn giggled.

karina simply nodded. "yeah yeah…i‘m too hungover for this bullshit…" she sighed. "i‘m gonna take a shower…" karina spoke lowly as she dragged herself towards the spot where she keeps her shower supplies.

"oh, what‘s up with karina?" heeseung asked, his voice etched with concern.

yn shook her head a bit dismissively. "karina‘s always like this when she‘s hungover. she was out with yunjin all last night."

heeseung nodded, letting out a long "ohh" of acknowledgment.

yn grabbed her bag of bathroom essentials from behind her dorm door before making her way to the restrooms with a heavy sigh.

"i gotta get ready now, heeseung. i‘ll see you tonight," yn informed her date, adding a small pout.

heeseung chuckled. "okay beautiful. i‘ll pick you up around six, yeah? i hope you like what i have planned." he grinned sheepishly, attempting to hide his blush.

yn smiled softly. "i‘m sure i will. see you later heeseung."

"see you later, pretty."

with that, yn blew a small kiss before hanging up, no longer able to ignore the flutters in her chest.

she was falling for lee heeseung.

fuck.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

6 o‘clock rolled around, and yn was dressed to perfection. her upper figure was accentuated by a flowy short dress she wore over jeans, paired with a little pink cardigan and kitten heels. she looked like she jumped straight out of a shoujo anime. her skin was glowing in the light of the sunset as she double checked herself in the full length mirror propped against her bed. taking a deep breath, she turned to ask karina if she looked alright—but able to read her best friend‘s mind, a hung over karina beat yn to it.

"you look amazing. don’t listen to any doubts floating around in your cute little head." karina paused, her expression softening. "heeseung really likes you, you know."

yn‘s mouth opened to say something, but a wave of confusion stopped her. she could only slightly tilt her head, gesturing karina to continue.

"i helped him plan the date, yn. i told him all your likes and dislikes—anything i know about you, really." karina shrugged. "he was so nervous to impress you." she chuckled softly. "he wants everything to be perfect. and there’s one surprise he has for you that you‘ll love!" karina slightly squealed, clapping silently.

"oh..oh wow…" yn laughed to herself, taken aback at how heeseung was acting according to yunjin.

on cue, a few knocks were heard on the heavy door, signaling heeseung‘s arrival. yn slightly panicked, darting her head around from the door to karina, like she was frozen.

"what are you doing?? go answer!" karina whisper yelled, shooing yn towards the door.

yn said nothing but complied, her lightly trembling hand reaching for the doorknob, slowly opening the door, revealing heeseung‘s tall figure holding a bouquet of yn‘s favourite flowers. he was dressed in a dark blue button up shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows with his nicest jeans and dress shoes. he honed a nervous smile, outstretching his arm to hand yn her flowers.

"you look so beautiful," heeseung anxiously spoke, his grin widening as he saw yn gently take the flowers from his grip, admiring them with what heeseung could‘ve sworn was a twinkle in her eye.

"thank you heeseung.." yn spoke gently, her eyes raking in over heeseung’s form. "you look good too. really good." she blushed, looking down at the ground with a stupid grin. she quickly made her way over to her bedside table and sat the flowers down for a moment before she grabbed her half-full hydroflask water cup from her bedside table and placed the flowers in it, her tone nervous when she spoke up and faced heeseung again.

"i um…i‘ll get a vase soon." she cleared her throat slightly before walking back to her date. heeseung let out a light giggle at yn‘s actions, absolutely adoring the beauty that stood before him.

"let’s go, love." heeseung spoke softly, taking yn‘s hand before waving to karina. "she‘s safe with me," he said with a smile, earning a nod from the hungover girl. "have fun you two!" she called out after them before the door closed.

heeseung opened his black car door for yn, helping her get in before walking to the driver’s side and slipping in himself.

"do you like cat cafés, yn?" heeseung asked as he started the car.

yn nodded quite fast, growing more excited by the second.

"i love them—how‘d you know?" yn asked curiously, having a hunch karina told him.

heeseung turned to face yn. "i had some help from karina, if i‘m being honest."

yn smiled bashfully. "you went to her?" yn already knew this, of course. it was just satisfying to hear again how devoted heeseung was to this date

"yeah, she’s your best friend after all. i wanted to know everything about the girl i‘ve grown so fond of." heeseung shot yn an affectionate smile, momentarily playing with the ends of her hair before focusing back on the road.

the car ride was short and filled with conversation and playful banter between yn and heeseung. his hand would trace small patterns along yn‘s clothed knee, giving tiny tentative squeezes every so often.

"this is it…" heeseung trailed off with a small smile as he parked his car in front of the newly opened cat café. he unbuckled his seatbelt, about to open the door until he noticed yn doing the same. quickly placing a hand on her shoulder, heeseung softly tutted, shaking his head slowly side to side.

"wait in here. i‘m going to open your door, beautiful." heeseung tenderly spoke, getting out of the car and walking over to yn‘s side to let his beautiful date out.

as his bony hand pulled on the car door to open it, yn slowly placed her feet out of the black vehicle, her smooth hand becoming encased by heeseung’s larger one. standing up, yn‘s plump lips curled into a genuine smile as her eyes darted around the large building in front of her. her eyes landed on pastel yellow and baby blues all over the café‘s curtains and signs, and peering inside the large window she caught sight of people eating the cutest, most beautifully decorated baked goods and little cats in rooms people went inside to play with.

"let’s go in, huh?" heeseung suggested, his eyes full of adoration at yn‘s entranced state.

nodding, yn wore an excited grin on her face as she and heeseung made their way inside the café together hand in hand.

"welcome in! just the two of you?" asked a tall, slender woman with braids once yn and heeseung entered.

the smell of sweets hit yn and heeseung in the face upon entry, adding to the cozy atmosphere the café created. all the furniture were pastels of every colour and the lights were warm strings of fairy lights paired with dim overhead lights.

"yes, two." heeseung politely smiled, letting the hostess grab two menus. "follow me."

yn and heeseung followed the woman towards a table sat directly near the room filled with cats, the view when yn and heeseung turned to their right being a large window peering into the playful felines and the customers playing with them after eating.

"here are your menus, your waitress will be erica and she‘ll be here soon." the hostess spoke in a professional tone before making her way to the front of the café again.

"oh i don’t even know what i want…" sighed yn, her eyes moving rapid fire speed over the pastel menu.

heeseung gazed at yn for a moment, his brown eyes trailing along her top half, doting on the girl’s excited form.

"karina told me you like strawberries—they have stawberry cakes and drinks if you want some…" heeseung suggested shyly, slightly slouching in his chair, bashfulness overtaking him as he cheeks glowed a baby pink.

yn nodded, her tongue slightly poking out of her mouth at the suggestion, immediately turning pages in the menu until she landed on a pink section dedicated to everything strawberry. "oh my…" she mumbled to herself. "i‘m gonna order a strawberry shake and a large cheeseburger." yn spoke contently, closing her menu to face a chuckling heeseung.

"you‘re hungry, huh?" he teased, closing his own menu. yn patted her stomach with a nod in response.

"i‘m just gonna have the ramen." heeseung shrugged. "i‘m mainly here for the cats…i miss my own." he slightly frowned, his fingers playing with the edge of his menu.

yn softly gasped. "you have a cat too?" she exclaimed, resting her own hand on his. heeseung smiled at the thought of his baby kitty back at home.

"yeah—his name is jack. adopted him after watching titanic for the first time.." heeseung slightly cringed, taking yn‘s hand to interlock fingers, squeezing her knuckles between his thumb and forefinger gently, an unspoken gesture of his soft spot for her.

"nooo that‘s cute!" yn giggled. "my baby‘s named tofu because she‘s fat as hell."

heeseung let out a deep laugh, leaning closer. "when their belly swings when they walk…"

yn covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her chuckles, in that moment completely forgetting about her deal with karina, the night heeseung and yn first interacted, and his fuckboy ways. right now it was just them both, revealing their authentic selves to each other layer by layer, peeling away a piece of caution tape slowly with each interaction.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

yn and heeseung rushed to finish their food so they could hurry and visit the kitties in the room next to them.

entering, yn‘s jean clad leg was immediately greeted with a small grey cat with bright blue eyes nuzzling its cheek against her, purring ever so softly.

"awee, hi my love!" she cooed, bending down to pick up the little feline. "oh, aren’t you the cutest lil‘ thing?" yn uttered to the purring creature, holding it in her arms like a baby. she rocked the cat back and forth, slightly bouncing as if she were lulling an infant to sleep.

heeseung‘s heart fluttered at the sight of yn holding the little kitty in her arms, imagining it was a baby. yn‘s soft, maternal side shining through her sarcastic, walled up attitude struck a feeling of longing in heeseung‘s chest like a lightning bolt hitting a kite. he could imagine yn as a mother in this moment—someone he could be with for a long time. a feeling of belonging flooded heeseung‘s veins when he was with yn—something no one else has brought him. heeseung never thought of himself as the type of guy to settle down. he was easily described as an asshole to almost never fuck the same girl twice, and didn’t explore the dating scene. textbook fuckboy. but with yn, heeseung could envision himself in her world long term. and it was a feeling he didn’t want to fight.

"look how pretty her eyes are…" yn snapped heeseung out of his thoughts, her shoulder pressing against his bicep as she showed off her new friend in her arms.

heeseung beamed, showing his pearly white teeth. "she’s a pretty one, huh?"

yn nods, setting the little cloud of smoke down to sit by her, letting her new favorite cat in the room nuzzle all over her.

heeseung sat down with his date, wrapping an arm around her as the baby cat waddled over to him, curling up in his lap.

he gave a small pout, scratching the top of the kitten‘s head.

"awe, she likes you, heeseung," yn cooed, letting her hand run along the kitty‘s smokey coat of fur.

"we can be her parents," heeseung softly spoke, glancing at yn for any approval or discomfort to his remark. but when yn grinned and nodded, leaving not a trace of disapproval, the feeling of relief washed over heeseung. "she can be our baby.." yn replied, leaning her head on heeseung‘s shoulder. tilting his head to peer at yn, heeseung gently smiled before planting a tiny, innocent kiss on yn‘s head, sending a small shover down her spine. not moving, yn‘s lips formed a grin at the small gesture, a mix of fond affection and satisfaction her plan was being carried out perfectly swirling in her chest.

"you like karaoke, right?" heeseung questioned. "of course i do!" yn lifted her head from heeseung‘s shoulder.

"good. because now that it’s late enough…i want to give you your first experience in letting loose. instead of you staying sober and taking care of everyone…you have a chance to have fun for once."

yn raised a brow "promise you won’t roofie me?" she laughed.

heeseung chuckled, shaking his head. "wouldn’t dream of it."

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

stepping out of the sleek car by heeseung‘s hand, yn was led into a bustling karaoke bar in the heart of the city. the bright lights and colours were a stark contrast to the blackness of night around them.

heeseung leaned in to bro hug an employee, saying something along the lines of "it‘s been too long" as yn stood, looking around the colourful establishment, hearing the muffled voices of other people singing their hearts out in nearby rooms.

the employee yn assumed to be a friend of heeseung’s turned to her, reaching out his hand for her to shake as heeseung placed his palm on the small of her back presenting her proudly. yn shook the dark man‘s hand, giving him a comfortable smile.

"yn, this is my good friend trey who‘s my connection here. and trey, this is yn, my date for tonight and hopefully a long long time after this." heeseung smiled, eyes roaming over yn‘s figure with a hint of longing.

trey shook the smaller girl‘s hand with a slight force due to his heavy handed nature. "it‘s lovely to meet a girl heeseung is finally putting himself out there for." he gave a charming, toothy smile.

yn‘s chest slightly at trey‘s words, nodding subtly as trey pulled his hand away.

"follow me, you two. i can get you a nice ass room and drinks…no id checks." try winked subtly, turning and motioning the pair to follow him to the back of the bar.

trey grabbed a key from his carabiner, unlocking a door towards the back.

trey unlocked the door, holding it open for yn and heeseung. yn stepped inside and heeseung hugged trey once more before doing the same—"i‘ll get ur drinks in a sec" spoke trey before leaving, allowing the door to close and leaving yn and heeseung inside of the colorfully lit karaoke room. there was an l-shaped couch in the middle against a wall lined with leds and a table in front of it set atop of a rug. on the opposite side there was a large tv and a stand for two mics, on screen a plethora of songs to choose from. the leds faded from pink to purple to blue and so on, creating an atmosphere that eased yn‘s nervousness away as she asked, "what drinks are we getting ?" heeseung smiled, sitting on the couch, resting his shoe clad feet on the table in front. "strawberry daiquiri. i heard you like them virgin but…i figured you could drink for the first time tonight, considering how karina went on about your desire to become wasted." heeseung pointed to the door, his tone becoming one of genuine care. "if you don’t trust me and wanna just drink a mocktail i understand th—" yn shook her head "no, i wanna drink. besides, if anything happens to me…i know who to blame." she grinned before making her happy way over to grab a mic and a tv remote, searching for a song as heeseung gazed with affectionate eyes, still laid back against the couch.

yn chose dangerous woman by ariana grande, clearing her throat as the guitar started, turning to heeseung with a smile. "wanna join?" heeseung stood up, sauntering towards the mic stand, grabbing the second microphone with his signature simper. "sure. i love ariana."

yn did most of the singing, heeseung mainly laughed at her off tune vocals and shaky high notes, making yn playfully shove him time to time.

and on cue as the song was coming to an end, trey slowly opened the door to yn and heeseung‘s room, bringing in a round of six strawberry daiquiris. "for the special girl," he teased, setting the tray down onto the table. he pointed to a red button right above the leather couch and said "if you need anything else, press this and i‘m on my way."

"thanks man, i owe you." heeseung said thankfully as he made his way to sit on the couch, yn following after him.

as trey left, yn stared at the drinks in anticipation, a small smile forming on her glossed lips as she sat beside heeseung.

"are you sure you wanna actually drink? you don’t have to" heeseung warned thoughtfully, placing a gentle hand on yn‘s shoulder.

yn nodded. "i want to. i‘m so sick of being uptight.." she spoke as she quickly grabbed a drink from the tray, taking a large sip, humming and eyes fluttering shut in satisfaction.

heeseung rubbed small circles on yn‘s shoulder with his thumb, tentatively watching the girl for any sign of discomfort. when he found none, he sat back, eyes glued to yn‘s satisfied form. "this is so much better with alcohol…" she giggled, lips pulling back from the straw for the first time, peering back at heeseung with flushed cheeks.

"just be careful, okay? don‘t drink too much at once."

yn nodded, taking another long sip at heeseung‘s digression. normally yn wouldn’t dare drink alone with a man, always being cautious of the dangers of that nightmare scenario. but heeseung made yn feel safe. of course being the smart girl she is, she‘s thought of the possibility that he could be harboring a false sense of security to take advantage of her. but when she searched into the depths of his dark brown eyes, she found nothing but a sense of genuineness. she decided in her sober mind heeseung was worth taking that risk.

downing one daiquiri after a few songs, yn let loose around heeseung even more, the boy being extra careful with her as if she were glass that could break if handled to harshly.

yn‘s cheeks were flushed and her smiles became wider and her laughs more giggly. it was clear after only two strawberry daiquiris, yn was officially drunk for the first time.

"oh yn…" heeseung sighed, laughing slightly. "how do you feel?" he inquired with a raised brow, lifting his karaoke mic as if he were interviewing the drunken girl.

"i feel like i‘m floating!" the girl exclaimed happily, a wide grin spreading across her flushed out face.

heeseung chuckled at yn‘s euphoric revelation, placing the mic down at his side as he reached out to place a lock of hair behind yn‘s ear, revealing the redness spread to the tip of it. heeseung made yn gave a small, endearing smile, lowering his hand to interlock fingers with her.

"taking you out has made me the happiest man today. thank you." heeseung‘s tone was sincere and affectionate, any ounce of selfish intentions with yn fleeting his body within this moment. those eyes that looked back up at him, the very windows to yn‘s soul becoming un-curtained before him, laying herself bare as she leaned in, standing onto her tip toes and placing a han on each of heeseung’s shoulders before cupping his face with a pout. "kiss me heeseung," she spoke, her words slurred and her eyelashes batting in her wasted state.

heeseung smiled softly as he peered down at the girl, taking his unoccupied hand to caress her soft cheek. "as much as i want to" heeseung started in a whisper "you‘re drunk. i‘ll kiss you once you ask while sober."

yn grinned ear to ear. "yay!" she pulled back, clapping as she jumped up and down. "that means you won’t take advantage of me…i didn’t really think you would but you can’t always be so sure…" yn slurred, struggling to walk towards the dark leather couch. attempting to grab another drink, heeseung quickly motioned over towards her, grabbing the tray and motioning it out of the way. "ah ah ah…" he started, tutting as he gently helped yn stand up straight. "you‘ve had enough to drink already. let’s get you taken care of, okay? you need water." he softly spoke, leaving yn to pout. "fineee dad," she scoffed rolling her eyes, poking fun at the slightly older male.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

heeseung drove yn back to his dorm, guiding her to the bathroom after she threw up all over herself and her nice clothes, getting some on the wood dorm floors. heeseung slightly gagged at the sight of the pinkish coloured liquid on the floor and the smell of strawberry daiquiri mixed with stomach acid all over yn, but he pushed through his discomfort and helped yn stumble into the dorm bathrooms.

holding yn‘s hair back into a ponytail, yn stood bent over the toilet before falling onto shaky knees, vomit emerging from her now chapped lips. yn‘s knuckles were now white from the grip she held onto the sides of the toilet, her knees as red as her face, blackened tears from mascara streaming down her cheeks from the heavy pressure built up in her head.

"there you go…let it out, yn. it’s okay…" heeseung softly cooed, his free hand not in yn‘s hair rubbed soothing circles on her clothed back.

yn finally pulled back with a heavy huff allowing heeseung to flush the toilet and grab yn a few squares of toilet paper, releasing her hair to wipe the girl‘s mouth carefully.

"you need to shower, yn…" heeseung spoke softly, helping yn to her feet. "wanna shower and change into my clothes?" heeseung questioned with a comforting smile. upon yn‘s nod, heeseung carefully led yn to his bedroom to grab potential pajamas, not wanting to leave yn in the dorm bathrooms alone and vulnerable.

sitting yn down on his roommate‘s bed, he dug through his closet in attempt to find an oversized shirt and his smallest shorts.

heeseung tossed a large grey tshirt next to yn alongside a pair of navy blue basketball shorts (whose drawstrings would definitely be tied) before turning his attention to her sitting form, gently tugging off her cardigan, setting it down on the floor.

"wait here…" heeseung urged, leaning down to open the drawers beneath his (clean freak) roommate’s bed in attempt to hopefully find some sort of cleaning rag.

spotting an old red cloth, heeseung grabbed it, gently patting and rubbing at the vomit on yn‘s upper half. "shouldn‘t have let you get so drunk..m‘sorry baby. i thought you’d be a bit of a heavier weight…" heeseung uttered in apology, earning a small smile from yn. "noo don’t be sorry…i‘m glad i could finally let loose.." she slurred with a drunken grin. yn continued, "i‘ve always had to be responsible and maintain some image…i hate it but it’s how i‘ve become over the years." yn sighs, about to fall back before heeseung‘s quick reflexes catch her.

"yn…" heeseung started. "i know i called you an uptight virgin when we met…and i did honestly think that of you. but getting to know you as the beautiful woman you are inside and out…you are so much more. and i can safely say the best decision i‘ve made in my life is understanding you. i might not fully right now—but i swear to you i will make it my goal to know you inside out."

yn‘s bottom lip quivered at heeseung’s sentimental testament, her hands reaching to touch his shoulders as her voice came out in a choked sob. "oh heeseung…"

heeseung chuckled. "don’t cry, angel. you won‘t remember any of this in the morning." his finger rested along yn‘s trembling lip. "maybe it’s for the better. i‘m not sure i‘ll ever be able to get over my reputation."

"no heeseung…i like you…" yn sniffled.

"yeah?"

"yeah…at least a little.."

heeseung leaned in to kiss yn‘s forehead, letting his lips linger, ignoring the smell of vomit.

"that‘s all i need to hear."

heeseung led yn back to the dorm bathroom, entering the shower area. "i‘m gonna help you change then i want you to take a shower, okay ?"

yn nodded.

slowly, heeseung assisted yn in sliding off her dress over her head, avoiding any of the vomit stain being able to come in contact with her skin.

yn unbuttoned her jeans next, allowing heeseung to help her pull them down. once she was stripped down to her bra and panties, heeseung looked away, wanting to still be respectful.

"i‘ll wait right here for you while you shower, okay?" heeseung spoke, facing away from yn and sitting on a nearby bench with his back toward the girl.

"okayyy" yn slurred, stepping into the bathroom after she fumbled with taking off her bra and underwear.

heeseung heard the water turn on and waited patiently for his girl.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

"heeseung, i‘m done !" yn shouted, turning off the water and leaning against the glass to support her drunken weight.

standing up, heeseung grabbed a towel from a nearby supply. "i have a towel for you.." he spoke awkwardly, handing the towel towards the shower door with his face turned away from yn‘s naked form.

"thank you…" yn spoke quietly, weakly taking the white towel from heeseung‘s grasp, struggling slightly to wrap it around her body before stumbling out of the shower. "i‘m done now!"

heeseung grinned. "let’s get you dressed and in bed now, okay?"

heeseung handed yn his clothes to change into, waiting patiently for the girl to slip them on. he took his hairbrush and sat yn down on the edge of his bed, sitting behind her to comb her wet locks. running his fingers through her damp strands after the brush strokes, heeseung found himself smiling at the way yn melted into his touch, like they were both content.

but heeseung‘s train of thought was cut off once yn leaned back against him, the dampness of her hair transferring onto heeseung‘s clothed chest, sending a shiver down his spine.

"i‘m tired…" yn slurred, turning her body to fit into heeseung‘s arms that instinctively wrapped around her.

"you can take my bed. i‘ll sleep in sunghoon‘s bed." heeseung spoke softly.

"no..i wanna sleep with you…"

heeseung‘s eyes slightly widened. "are you sure..? you‘re dr—"

"shh…" yn brought a finger to heeseung‘s lips. "if you really like me you can hold me and not try anything…"

heeseung nodded to himself. "okay, beautiful."

he held yn in his arms, leaning back so she was laying on his chest as he ran his fingers through her combed out hair. "thank you for letting me take you out, beautiful…i hope today was a start to many more days together. i really want to be with you."

upon no reply except the sound of yn‘s breathing, heeseung leaned slightly forward to peer down at yn who was now asleep, unable to hear a word of heeseung’s truth. he could only chuckle to himself.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

that next morning, yn woke up with a pounding headache, groaning as she tried to sit up, holding her head, only to find herself trapped in heeseung‘s embrace.

"what the fuck..?" yn whispered, absolutely puzzled as last night was a blur.

heeseung, ever the light sleeper, stirred awake, giving yn a tired smile. "morning beautiful…" his voice was sleepy.

"oh my fucking god." yn spoke harshly, forcing herself away from heeseung. "did we—?"

heeseung shook his head. "no, yn…we just slept. you got drunk so i let you crash here. i was gonna sleep in my roommate‘s bed but you insisted i slept with you instead."

yn, still holding her splitting headache, could only dart her eyes around heeseung‘s room before her eyes landed on her phone, which she practically pounced leaning forward to grab. she found a dozen of missed calls and texts from karina. opening their imessages, she read through them.

rina 🦖💕: yn ?? are u with heeseung still ??

rina🦖💕: yn it‘s midnight, wya ??

rina🦖💕: i might be overreacting but i‘m getting worried. plspls call me back

rina🦖💕: nevermind, heeseung just texted me you‘re with him. stay safe !!! 🫶🏻

yn sighed, typing out a message.

yn: i just woke up, i got drunk last night. i‘m fine, but i‘m coming home now

abruptly getting up, yn didn’t even bother to grab her old clothes before making it towards the door.

"where are you going ?" heeseung questioned, darting upwards. "i thought last time i asked you that i wouldn’t ever have to again."

yn turned around. "heeseung…i can’t do this. i can’t be one of your little bitches. i‘m sorry."

heeseung scoffed, coming closer. "one of my bitches? yn—do you actually think i‘d treat any of my fucking hookups the way i treat you?"

yn crossed her arms defensively. "isn’t this all to just win me over ?? to win me over and get me in your bed?"

"yn—you were just in my bed! if i wanted to fuck you i would have already! you are the first girl i‘m fucking serious about!" heeseung’s voice raised before he softened his tone again. "and probably the last, too…"

yn sighed. "i don’t want to be with a guy who’s never taken anyone seriously before! you won’t do anything right!"

"so that date—was that me not doing anything right??"

yn stayed silent.

"wow…okay…" heeseung rubbed his eyes before he started pacing. "you know what…just go. leave. if that‘s what you want just go…but i hope you know you threw out a man who truly wants you all because you have some trust issues. you might think you were some game to me but…i never even once saw you that way. and if you leave now…if you give up on us, i will never forgive you."

"then don‘t forgive me. but if you truly want me you‘re going to have to prove it. while i‘m fucking sober."

with those words, yn left heeseung‘s dorm, her heart besting like a sledgehammer in her chest.

in truth, yn was afraid. she knew she was catching true feelings for heeseung and her worst nightmare of being used and tossed away by a guy with a fuckboy reputation like him—it honestly sent a shiver down her spine.

she walked back to her dorm with unshed tears anf a heavy chest, slamming the door behind her once she approached home, startling karina and yunjin who were laying in karina‘s bed watching something on yunjin‘s phone.

"yn! you’re back—" karina cut herself off noticing the state of her best friend. "what happened? did that dickhead do something to you?" karina practically leaped out of bed to examine yn.

yn only shook her head, looking up at karina. "no…he was…perfect. too perfect."

yunjin got out of bed, standing next to yn with a manicured hand on her shoulder. "what‘s wrong then?"

yn sniffled. "i actually like him..like—more than i‘ve liked anyone else. i‘m just terrified i was another mission to him and not something genuine."

"so you ended it before anything could start?" yunjin asked.

"yeah, i guess."

karina pulled yn in for a hug, holding her best friend as she shed a few tears into karina‘s shoulder.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

another missed call.

another knock on the door that karina had to shoo away.

54 unread messages.

all from heeseung.

yn could only simply look at her phone, skimming over messages consisting of questions and pleas for yn to come back.

one day heeseung even had flowers delivered to yn‘s dorm room, with a note that read: for my beautiful girl.

of course yn smiled at the flowers, her chest clenched at the messages, but she couldn’t bring herself to trust heeseung.

especially after she spotted him talking to abby. his favorite fling.

after yn‘s english class, she was walking out of the building to meet up with karina and yunjin. as she was finished grabbing her phone from her bag, her tracks were stopped when her eyes were greeted with the sore sight of abby in front of heeseung, her demeanor as flirty as ever.

the little touches and lingering gazes from abby rubbed yn the wrong way entirely. sure, she didn’t think she had a right to be upset—afterall, she‘s the one who walked out on him. again. but something about him talking to his favourite hookup only a week after taking yn on a real date, saying sweet things of how she was the first girl he‘s truly wanted…to say her blood boiled would be putting it lightly.

with flushed cheeks and a loud huff, yn immediately unlocked her phone and blocked heeseung‘s contact, deciding she was done with him for good.

"you guys won‘t fucking believe it," yn stormed in the cafeteria, sitting down next to karina. yunjin who sat across from yn‘s best friend looked at the fuming girl with a confused gaze.

"heeseung was flirting away out there with fucking abby." a scoff left yn‘s lips. "i was right…"

karina gasped, her eyes widening in shock. "you serious??"

yunjin chuckled. "all that bitch is is a pair of big tits and blonde hair. those green eyes represent something evil behind that tight bod. don’t worry, yn. you are so much more than her. and clearly heeseung isn’t ready for that." yunjin closed her hand over yn‘s in a symbol of support, earning a small thank you from the girl.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

unknown: Is this yn??

yn‘s phone vibrated next to her as she finished painting her toenails. with a puzzled expression, yn decided to text back.

yn: yeah this is

almost immediately her message was read.

unknown: So you‘re the fuckass bitch who took hee from me

yn‘s brows furrowed, her hands suddenly becoming shaky. "karina! come look!" she called out, wanting a bit of moral support from her platonic soulmate.

karina rushed over, sitting down next to yn on the edge of her bed, peering over to look at the messages. "what the fuck..? is this one of his little hoes?"

yn typed out another response.

yn: idk wym. who is this ?

unknown: It‘s Abby. Hee broke things off between us and any other girl he‘s ever fucked because he‘s apparently "found his one." I asked him who and he said it was you. He wants to make you his gf or sum shit

yn gasped, nearly dropping her phone as she whipped her head around to see karina, her hands lightly hitting the sides of the girl‘s clothed arms.

"that‘s why heeseung was talking to abby today! oh my god!" yn blurted, suddenly standing up.

"yn…you know what you gotta do.." karina smirked.

yn stumbled over to her shoe rack, sliding on sandlas and immediately going to the door. "karina, can i take your car?"

so yn drove as fast as she could do heeseung‘s side of campus. it was less than five minutes but it felt like forever. yn‘s stomach felt like it sank to her ass practically with anticipation.

exiting karina‘s white car, yn practically b-lined towards heeseung‘s room, knocking on his door almost maniacally.

when heeseung finally answered, he was visibly taken aback to see his perfect yn standing before him, out of breath. "yn? yn…what are you doing here? i thought you hated me…"

yn shook her head. "i‘m so sorry for ever doubting you…" she panted. "i got so mad when i saw you talking to abby…"

heeseung grabbed yn‘s shoulders in a gentle hold, his tone gentle. "i ended things with abby and i. and the rest of my meaningless flings. it‘s you i want…and this was part of my plan to prove it to you…i‘m so sorry i made you doubt…"

yn hugged heeseung, holding him like he‘d slip out of her embrace.

"yn…can i be your boyfriend..?" heeseung asked tentatively, caressing the smaller girl‘s back.

yn pulled back, cupping heeseung‘s face in her palms. "i thought you’d never ask…"

a small smile appeared on heeseung‘s face as he deeply stared into yn‘s beautiful eyes, his expression lovestruck.

"well are you gonna kiss me now?" yn teased, her thumbs caressing heeseung‘s cheeks.

"now that you asked me while sober, yes…" heeseung teased back with a sly smirk, leaning in to yn, their lips pressing together in a delicate whisper of warmth, their lips met in a rush, gentle at first, as if they were testing the waters of this new connection. but soon, it deepened, a spark igniting between them, a surge of energy that pulsed with every heartbeat. the kiss was slow, yet urgent, each touch like a wave, pulling them closer, making everything outside dissipate around them.

this kiss served as an introduction to their newfound love, and the end to their game.

꒰ ꒱ྀི 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭:

@tsukikourito

@lannadray

@mheretoreadff

@yohanabanana

@cloud-lyy

@heeheelee

@girlwholovekpop

@perfectnighttt

@invsomnixa1

@chuuyaobsessed

@e-r-i-15

@parkjongseongsguccibag

@bananna-12

@livelaughloveskzmwah

[chaotic-ravenclaw]

UNPOPULAR (?) OPINION

(pls don't attack me for this 😭😭)

THE PERCY JACKSON SERIES WAS A PISS POOR ADAPTATION!!!

I would like to start by saying absolutely no hate on the actors!! They were perfect for their roles <3

I'm not just gonna be complaining the whole time, there were some things I did like and I do mention them as well.

1) the pacing was all off. I get that they only had 8 episodes to cram all that info and action into, but it really was WAYY too fast paced. The fight scenes didn't feel like fight scenes coz they were over in seconds, and just a lot of the info you're supposed to find out gradually or just know from context clues is outright said instead of shown and spaced out.

Also, just some of the dialogue was really cluncky and weird/unnecessary and made it very awkward to watch at times.

And then the only two long fight scenes dragged on and ended in ways that just completely disregarded a major character moment. Which leads me to no. 2

2) The arch scene. I actually really liked how they changed it to a shrine of Athena's in the show, it really showed how much Annabeth trusted her mother, and when Echidna was able to pass through anyway, the betrayal was a nice touch which really showed how much trouble they were really in.

HOWEVER!!! What I DIDN'T like, was that last fight scene with Echidna and the Chimera, which actually really upsets me coz it was our first decently lengthed fight scene. I didn't mind the fight overall, but the ending was a cop-out.

The scene in the book where he jumps out of the arch is supposed to show how much trust/faith he has in the gods and his father. He trusts that Poseidon will catch him. And yes, ik, Uncle Rick "thought it was closer" and didn't realise the river didn't go directly under the arch, but surely the fact that it wasn't closer holds that much more weight if he had jumped?

3) They completely butchered Grover, Annabeth, Sally and Gabe's characters.

Grover is supposed to be this scared but BRAVE and LOYAL satyr who loves nature and whose entire purpose is to PROTECT young demigods and find Pan (the god of the wild).

Instead, we get this guy who rats out his friend for doing something he didn't even do, AGREES WITH ARES about fucking WAR of all things (I get it was a ploy to get information but I'm still not really vibing coz it was just so out of character), and WAITS OUTSIDE till the fight is finished before running in and asking if it was over yet. And if all that wasn't bad enough, they've turned him into the exposition guy. Uncle Rick, does show don't tell mean nothing to you?? He deserved a lot better than what he got.

Annabeth in the books had so much depth and character dimension; she wanted to break free from her stereotypes (dumb blonde, girls can't fight/are weak etc); she had a lot of faith in the gods (especially her mother - I'm really glad this was shown in the show); she wanted a way to prove herself to the gods.

Instead her character is moulded down into a singular trait. 'Mean'. I personally think it's a step up from her movie counterpart's singular trait of 'girl', but they could also just do her one better and give her an actually fully fleshed out personality.

I understand that, due to her appearance, they obviously can't do the whole dumb blonde thing (which I really don't mind), but they could throw in some struggles about her race and the 'girls are weak' thing too. Obviously they'd have to be careful to handle it respectfully but it's definitely doable. Like, there are so many thing they can do with her character and all they did was make her mean.

I would have liked it to have been more obvious that she wanted to prove herself to the gods, because it's such a big reason why she chose to be part of the quest. Like, the bathroom scene should've made it more obvious that she was scoping him out to see if he was the leader of the quest she was prophesied to be in, instead of that stupid janky line about capture the flag.

I did, however, like that they got rid of her little crush on Luke, because the fandom ruined their sibling relationship because of that. (I can already see the arguments THATS gonna bring up lol). I interpreted her little crush on Luke as something similar to like when you'd have a teacher crush on primary school. A silly little crush because "they're pretty and were nice to me" kinda vibes. A platonic crush if you will ?

ANYWAYS, I'm glad they fixed that up, but I really would've liked to see her and Luke act more like siblings before he left. Like, half the confusion the first time round was coz we didn't get any proper sibling moments before (or after really) Percy came to the conclusion that Annabeth liked Luke. It just would've been a nice touch.

I also really didn't like the fight with Luke at the end (they changed WAYYYY too much) but the thing I dislike the most was that Annabeth was there. She wasn't supposed to be there. Half her struggle through the rest of the books was that she couldn't come to terms with the fact that Luke was on the Titan's side, and tried to hurt/kill them multiple times when they got in his way. It's supposed to be a slow process for her, but having her there would (realistically) speed up that process, and undermine her feelings and struggles from the books.

On another note, I didn't like how they dealt with Cerberus. It felt so unfeeling, when it was supposed to be a more emotional interaction. Annabeth loves dogs, and that was supposed to be one of the moments you learn more about her. It was supposed to be sad when they parted, but instead it was more of a "that thing is going to kill us, we need to get the fuck outta here" kind of situation.

One last thing for Annabeth coz this is getting long. The Fields of Asphodel scene was rubbish. If there had to be one of them stuck there, it should've been Grover. I truly believe he'd have the most regrets out of the three (eg. Thalia dying under his care, losing the teleportation pearl, trusting Luke, regret for ratting Percy out perhaps? Etc). But realistically they all would've planned roots. They each have regrets weighing them down. Anyways, I just thought it was stupid

Gabe is meant to be the absolute worst. He's meant to be an abusive asshole who couldn't give two shits about Sally and Percy. He's meant to be demanding and messy.

Instead we get this somewhat likeable guy whose worst crime is sitting in his chair for hours at a time. We're supposed to hate this guy, so why am I finding him kinda funny? Like yes, he's still kind of a dick, but he's not so irredeemable as he once was, and this version of him DEFINITELY doesn't deserve to be turned into a statue 😭😭

Like, miss ma'am, just divorce him, move out, turning him into a statue was so unnecessary in the show 😭😭

And I hate to say it, but the movies actually got him right.

And that leads me into Sally's character. In the books she's this brilliant woman with a heart of gold who loves her son more than anything. She married an abuser to protect her son from worse things, so he could grow up with a relatively normal childhood without fear of being hunted by monsters 24/7.

She's supposed to be a bit timid, a bit scared of Gabe because HES AN ABUSER. Sally isn't supposed to have her girlbossness yet! She hasn't gotten to the point where she can leave him (both because she's staying to protect Percy, and also because after being with someone like that for a prolonged period of time, it starts to get to you)

Side note - she's also not supposed to keep contact with Poseidon?? It kinda defeats the purpose of keeping Percy underwraps?? (I'm talking about that one flashback in the diner, it doesn't really make sense)

ANYWAYS!! Instead of some quality character development/growth, we get a character who unrealistically doesn't need it coz she isn't really a victim in the first place. They took away part of her character by taking away her trauma. The way that Sally and Gabe are portrayed really takes away from Sally, and the point that her character is at in the show doesn't make sense to her situation in the show's current timeline.

Also, the way Sally treats Percy in some of the flashbacks is fucking disgusting. THAT is NOT my Sally Jackson. My mother is emotionally/vocally abusive and neglectful, and that is exactly how she treats my neurodivergent younger brother. Maybe I'm projecting or looking into it too much, but seeing that in the show from one of my favourite characters in the books was so jarring, I almost started crying.

Because Sally is supposed to be the best mum, everyone loves her coz she's such a wonderful human being, and that's how she's been treating her son. It just makes me second guess how bad my own mum really is. Obviously everyone has their flaws, but getting angry and yelling at a child because he's scared/upset/doesn't want to do something has never been one of hers.

Alrighty, I'm gonna stop yabbering on coz I feel like this is WAYY too long, but I have a lotta thoughts and feelings about this coz PJO is my comfort fandom lol.

Please gimme any thoughts/opinions you like to share <33

[mrkeatingsblazer]

defending the characters does equal loving the fandom are you okay? Bens in the wilderness with a bunch of teenagers who don’t listen to him. We see that play out the second Lara Lee asks him what he’s gonna do about it when she goes on the plane. ITS A PLOT POINT. It’s literally why Jackie dies; she signifies change in leadership and unlawfulness. Coach Ben being an adult does not matter to the girls anymore, it’s why mitsy was so okay with drugging him because in her mind he’s still holding onto civilised laws and that’s not an excuse for rape even if she thinks he wants her. That’s an excuse I see so much and it’s disgusting. And on mitsy and Ben; that girl took off his leg without barely thinking and has shown multiple other signs of mental illness that from someone in the show could look like her potentially snapping and becoming dangerous.

It’s a tactic many victims use; easing their oppressor into a state of comfort because he doesn’t know how this crazy girl is gonna react. You saying that he shouldn’t be around kids is so strange. Like what do you think he’s a pdfile?

Saying that what happened at doomcoming “wasn’t the best” is why I hate you fans, doing exactly what I said by pushing everything about the boys away or seeing it as less important. It being a women show shouldn’t mean the fandom should become a bunch of femcels who hate the guys. Shauna jerks off to a picture of her daughter and her boyfriend? Completely fine who cares Shauna is complex. Travis, a teenage boy in the 90s, saying something sexist in the first season- fuck him, im thankful he dies, doesn’t deserve anything. The same can be said with Ben who the fandom villainies’ because of his age. AGE DOESNT MATTER IN THE WILDERNESS. He has no power. The fact you think that what he’s done is so bad compared to the rest of the girls is mad. He has to die? But not the group eating people? (love those little freaks but point still stands).

Also telling me not to talk about my opinions on the show is so weird. Public platform, public opinions. You also attack a character you are gonna get fans of that character on your back. If you don’t want “debates” don’t post hate posts.

“omg poor coach ben someone save him from misty” i hope he meets his demise at her hands actually

[ghoulz4foolz]

Drift Playlist

It's been A While, but I completely revamped by Drift playlist. It's in chronological order from Dead End to the end of the events of Lost Light and broken up by time periods/major events. I have lots of notes and explanations for almost every single song under the cut (fair warning it is LONG, so only look at the stuff under the cut if you're interested or you'll be scrolling for a while). Please feel free to chat w me about any of it bc I am so very passionate. Cover art is also mine!

PRE-WAR/DEAD END 1. Bug Like an Angel - Mitski 2. Junkie Church - AJJ 3. Cocaine Jesus - RKS -honestly can also double for when Drift is in exile. I feel like it's super applicable thinking about his friends from Dead End and his general situation, but also later after he leaves the LL and is thinking about Rodimus 4. Camisado - P!ATD -who tf is caring about the guttermechs? Again, this would also be a good Deadlock song 5. Runs in the Family - Amanda Palmer (sorry ik I also hate her) 6. Brand New City - Mitski -what can I say, Megatron gave him purpose DRIFT, MEET RATCHET 7. Wretch - Autoheart -Specifically when Drift meets Ratchet in the Dead End clinic on Rodion 8. Underground - Cody Fry 9. Back To Life - Mother Mother -This feels very.... mmm Dead End to me. Very "fuck you, I'll do what I want" 10. Arms Tonite - Mother Mother 11. LIE WITH WOLVES - The Dogs on Shepard Street -”I’ll see you in my brothers, I’ll see you in the end” -”lie with dogs and you’ll get fleas. Lie with wolves and you’ll get teeth” DECEPTICON DEADLOCK 12. The Killing Type - Amanda Palmer (sorry againnnn) -I know he didn't exactly feel... bad? while he was first joined up. Just indulge me here 13. Cirice - Ghost -Megatron is Very Convincing. I'd revolt too. 14. Washing Machine Heart - Mitski -unfortunately, I read a great fic where Deadlock and Megatron kinda had smth going during the earlier war days and this song just feels Right. -Additionally, fitting for post-exile abt Roddy 15. Nicotine - P!ATD -see above 16. War Pigs/Luke’s Wall - Black Sabbath -”Politicians hide themselves away. They only started the war, why should they go out and fight?” 17. King For A Day - Pierce The Veil 18. Black Sheep - Dorothy 19. Girl is a Gun - Halsey -also one of my Starscream songs 20. Damonisch - TUYU -perfect fast-paced slasher 21. Set Me On Fire - Flyleaf 22. Cocoa Hooves - Glass Animals -cross-faction romance? on my playlist? -"You never fight back"... oh like a Medic? Who's job is healing regardless of alignment? 23. Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA -see above 24. Headlock - Imogen Heap -”got your heart in a [Dead]lock”? Sorry that was SO cheesy 25. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off 26. Punk Tactics - Joey Valence & Brae 27. Centuries - FoB -oooooh the DJD wants you so bad 28. Little Pistol - Mother Mother -maybe having little change of heart? perhaps getting stuck with the Circle of Light?

FACTIONLESS ON EARTH/WRECKERS TIME 29. Liquid Smooth - Mitski 30. Hungover in the City of Dust - Autoheart 31. Clean - Woolbright 32. Impostor Syndrome - Sidney Gish -I really like the idea he learned a lot abt human culture and racing etc. on Earth. It was probably lonely, but he got a fresh start. 33. Being so Normal - Peach Pit  -Still, it must be hard being so far removed from the settings you've known all your life 34. Daniel In The Den - Bastille -maybe both sides are flawed and people are complicated 35. The Distance - Cake -specifically about his drag racing days, ik it’s a little out of place, but it fits well w the songs after DRIFT DEFECTS/AUTOBOT DRIFT/MTMTE 36. Crusader - Stevie Howie -mmmm yes some good rock 37. Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin 38. This Is Why We Fight - The Decemberists 39. Allies or Enemies - The Crane Wives -certainly, he has some conflicting feelings about his new “allies” DRATCHET MTMTE 40. Oxford Blood - Autoheart -ESPECIALLY early Dratchet where they weren't quite together, but they were close pre-EOS 41. Body Terror Song - AJJ -look, ik Drift takes care of himself Now, but he certainly didn't always and I'm sure there was some lasting damage -I also like to hc he kept his 'con claws as a reminder of who he was before. I assume Autbots wouldn't look upon that too favorably 42. A Sadness Runs Through Him - The Hoosier -ooooh Ratchet wants to fix him so bad 43. The Soldiering Life - The Decemberists - I have a LOT to say about this. I know Drift and Ratchet didn't exactly serve together (except kinda in All Hail Megatron). Still, just listen to it and you will Understand. EXILE 44. Which Witch - Florence + The Machine -”I’m on trial, waiting ‘til the beat comes out” -”Who’s a heretic now?” -It's Perfect. you just Know he was mad even with all the other mixed emotions 45. Sucker’s Prayer - The Decemberists -it’s really perfect for this period of time -”I was not ready for the road. I was so discontent to wear that heavy load” -”I wanna love somebody, but I don’t know how” 46. Losing my Religion - REM -oh Boy. Self explainatory. 47. Drop the Guillotine - Peach Pit -thinkin' about how Rodimus sold him out as a scapegoat. Was being captain that important? 48. Working for the Knife - Mitski 49. Cleopatra - The Lumineers -Drift realizing just how much he really liked Ratchet, how they practically started the Conjunx Ritus before he left without even realizing. -Insert Specralist guilt here 50. A Pearl - Mitski 51. Mr. Loverman - Ricky Montgomery

EMPIRE OF STONE 52. Heartbreaker - Autoheart -I'd be pretty emotional too if the person I loved most in the world, who I never confessed to, travelled across space to come bring me back home. Even more so when my Amica didn't even consider it. 53. Drop in the Ocean - Ron Pope 54. Someone To Stay - Vancouver Sleep Clinic 55. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men 56. Sleep On The Floor - The Lumineers -"leave a note on your bed, let your mother know you're safe" that of write the new CMO a note and go get your soon-to-be husband 57. The Sailor Song -this is my CD/Rewind song, but it belongs here too. 58. Drops of Jupiter - Train -honestly, this is more about Ratchet than Drift, but it felt fitting 59. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman -"Anyplace is better; starting from 0 we got nothin to lose" 60. World War Me - Kind and Queen of the Losers -"so tell me, baby- will you love me if I lose? Will you love me even if I lose?" 61. G.I.N.A.S.F.S. - FoB 62. We Can Build A Fire - Autoheart -”Who in your right mind did you think you’d find- your guardian angel?” -this one was rly hard to place bc it could go so many places POST EOS DRATCHET 63. Benjamin Alphabet - Super Whatevr -healing together takes time and energy! 64. You are the Moon - The Hush Sound 65. Me and My Husband - Mitski -with a positive interpretation, minimal angst intended -even when your best friend writes you off, you'll still always have your grumpy husband 66. Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie -the Dratchet song ever 67. Sunlight -Spending thousands of years on a war that did nothing but cause pain and suffering really makes a person think about how valuable enduring love and devotion are 68. Female Doctor - Miniature Tigers 69. I’ll Rust With You - Steam Powered Giraffe 70. Laughter Lines - Bastille -this will make me SOB if I think about it too long. GEN/LOST LIGHT 71. Calamity Song - The Decemberists 72. Angel With a Shotgun - The Cab -see Lost Light #1 73. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty 74. Moscow - Autoheart -my Lost Light anthem!! 75. In Our Bedroom After the War - Stars -"at least the war is over" 76. I'm Still Standing - Elton John -boy isn't he 77. I Know The End - Phoebe Bridgers 78. Life Eternal - Ghost -yeah. all of this. 79. Bitter Water - The Oh Hellos

[artist-issues]

Someone just reblogged a really old post of mine that I’d forgotten existed and when I checked what post it was I just couldn’t stop cringing because I had some really bad takes on Snow White, like bad as in “I think I watched the film with my eyes closed” kind of bad. Since reading so many of your posts on the original Snow White my view of the film has changed a lot and I feel bad that it gets so much hate (less so now the new one is making people go “hold up the original was actually good and we don’t want live action crap”). I just feel like because so many of us watched it when we were so young and then forgot about it as we got older we missed a lot of points in the movie. It’s a shame that so many films suffer from “if people were a little more media literate this would actually be so enjoyable to watch” and also “we are so used to animated storytelling we take it for granted”. Anyway I don’t know where this ask is going I just thought it was interesting how our views on media change as we get older

That’s true, it is! I think it’s easy to speculate on why our views on stories change as we get older, or even come to the (I think incorrect) conclusion that “it’s all a matter of taste” or “it’s subjective.”

When actually the simplest explanation might be the right one:

These are stories made by adults. In the case of animated movies, it’s whole teams of adults, who have dedicated a huge chunk of their brainpower every day for several years to honing and fine-tuning these stories, and all the details.

So Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was a distilling of the creative thought and life-experience and storytelling skill of seven hundred and fifty people into one hour and twenty-three minutes.

It’s like showing a drawing you spent all day on to your mom. She’s only going to appreciate the way it looks as a whole, in general, and her appreciation is only going to last for a minute. But it took you hours, and erasing and re-choosing how lines were going to go, over and over, until you got it right. It was making “no, not that way: this way instead” choices; hundreds of them, for hours.

But now imaging your mom took an art class. Then she comes back and looks at your drawing and starts to see why you made certain choices—so she’s appreciating it on a deeper level.

With animated movies and stories in general, the beauty and the tragedy is that they’re made to meet you at your level. When you’re a kid, you’re not going to understand all the levels of what an adult is saying. Much less a team of 750 adults and all their life experiences and skill set in visual communication. But when you’re an adult, you get closer to what they were when they started communicating. So you understand them better.

It’s not that they were never saying deep things. It’s that you didn’t know how to listen or understand, yet. That’s all. And that’s fine.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.219 Less strikes again

At some point, I tore myself away from my parents and left the cemetery feeling renewed and happy. On my way back home, I made a detour to the florist. I couldn't leave their graves looking empty and neglected like we didn't care. Quite the contrary. I even bought nice headstones and put portraits on their plots. Too bad I didn't have a big enough picture for grandpa Winston. I'd really love to meet him one day, but I think he may have crossed over already. At least I have tiny pictures at home to look at and see where some of my features come from.

Alessia called, saying she wanted to talk. That meant she needed to get out of the house, so I sent Sophia a text saying I would be back later that night. At first, I thought we'd grab dinner, but Less and I hadn't gone out together in ages. We needed to make it count, so I suggested we go to a bar for old time's sake. We met at The Solar Flare in Oasis Springs, and she began telling me about this man she'd been talking to.

His name is Brent Peters, and he rents a trailer in Oasis Springs. He likes horses, is obsessed with vampires, loves a good argument, and hates smart asses. He also hates comedy, idealists, troublemakers, knitting, and rock climbing. So far, he sounded like a very interesting character, and I wanted to know more. She said in his younger days he had a bit of trouble of his own, often getting caught stealing. He got help, but every day is a struggle to resist that urge. They bonded over their love for athleticism. She thought it was a silly to appreciate, but she loved he didn't mind her being a homebody. Whatever she wanted to do, he was into it, and she loved that. I couldn't imagine Alessia ever changing herself to please someone, but I knew exactly how it felt to be loved and accepted by someone despite your flaws and shortcomings, and I was glad she had that. She said he's loyal to her, and they are taking things slow. As much as I loved to hear that, I still had concerns.

"He sounds wonderful for you, but... Like, how do you know he's not after your money?"

"Luca... I know you're concerned because of what happened last time, but this isn't that. Me and Jase bonded over stupid, meaningless stuff. Brent and I talk about real things. And I'm older and wiser now. But you, of all people, should understand how putting yourself out there involves risks. You moved in with Sophia after one date, and you didn't even want to be in a relationship. But you took the risk. The point here is I'm ready to take risks again. I don't know if Brent is after my money, or if he will kill me in my sleep, or if he'll run off with another woman. I'm still getting to know him, but I don't think he will. But I'll never know unless I try."

I say this every time I'm around her, but she has grown so much, and I love to see it. I still had concerns, but there was nothing left to say.

"Also, I'm moving out tomorrow."

"What?? Why?"

"I appreciate everything you've done for me. And I love how fiercely you protect me. But I need to handle things on my own now. All my life, I've had a safety net. Even when I moved out, I was living with that family. Someone has always taken care of me, and I feel like I owe it to myself, and my children, to be truly independent. I can't teach them what I've never done, so I need to go. I don't want you to make a big deal and throw a party or something. Just let us go quietly, please."

This is just like Mt. Komorebi all over again. She arrives at conclusions super fast and is compelled to action them even faster.

"But... What about the kids? Desi loves playing with them. And I love hanging out with them, too."

"That can still happen! It'll just require more effort now."

"Where are you going, anyway?"

"San Myshuno, for now."

That was the last place I pictured her living. Seems like the hustle and bustle would send her paranoia up the roof. But, renting an apartment is a good situation for her. Even though she wants to be independent, homeownership is a whole 'nother beast, not for the faint of heart.

"I'm gonna miss you, sis. I've really enjoyed getting to know this adult version of you. Can we make sure to do better at keeping in touch?"

"You better, big head."

[danieyells]

That's normal! It's normal to want to be liked and it's okay to feel bad if people don't like you. You're allowed to feel bad about it. But you also shouldn't let it drive you because you have to live your life for you, not for them. Mourn the people you could have had near you for a bit, cry it out if you have to. Say 'I wish things were different, but they aren't and it's out of my hands to change that.'

Personally, as someone who used to try and appeal to everyone to the point of lying a lot if it meant everyone seemed to be happy or got along with me, it's far better to be hated for who you are than liked for who you're not. Because deep inside you'll know that whatever front you put up isn't the real thing and they wouldn't like the real thing, and you'll just feel awful about it regardless. So better to just be yourself, let people feel their feelings, feel your own feelings, and let the feelings come and go like any other feelings do. People may hate you, they may be loud about it, but that's on them. It isn't your responsibility to change their mind, and it's rude of them to put their hate in your face.

My therapist says I have to work on my self image, that I can't always assume people don't want me around. But people are often saying they hate seeing me around. So I don't know how I'm supposed to not do that.

[neuship-zone]

I need some of you anti-Stolas critics to think for a minute

Just saw someone criticise Stolas for his infidelity and him “actively choosing” to destroy his family by stepping in to save Blitz in Mastermind.

First of all lemme tackle the Mastermind bit. You guys do realise that Stolas genuinely does love Blitzo, right? (Doesn’t matter if you don’t think their relationship is healthy because this isn’t the question at hand) If you see your loved one about to literally DIE in front of you, are you going to just automatically do nothing because you don’t want to doom your already doomed family? Actually it’s really telling that you’re antagonising Stolas for being forced to make a decision between his loved one dying and his daughter hating him even more, and not the fucking people who put him in that situation in the first place. (Cough cough Stella, cough cough Andy. You can complain about how badly written they are as much as you like, it doesn’t change the fact that they are canonically horrible people).

As for the cheating. You guys tend to forget this but:

Stolas was FORCED to marry and have a child with Stella

Stella was (and is) actively abusive to Stolas throughout their entire marriage

Stolas divorced Stella immediately after he cheated on her

Via does NOT have the full story on what’s going on in her family

I’m not going to pretend that cheating isn’t a bad thing, or that Stolas cheating wasn’t the trigger cause to his relationship with Octavia declining, or that Via doesn’t have the right to hate both of her parents because all these statements are true. I’m not entirely fond of the idea of Via becoming part of Blitz’s family because she shouldn’t have to forgive her father for being neglectful (plus the writing team are gonna handle it shitty for sure!). It would be a more powerful story if it was instead about Stolas accepting that he fucked up and he’s never getting his daughter back, and he should live with those consequences, even if it hurts.

BUT that doesn’t mean that Via doesn’t deserve to know the truth, or that Stolas is not also a victim. If you’re gonna hate on him, you could TRY to not reduce him to a one-dimensional villain who always hated his family or wanted to hurt Octavia on purpose? Or blame him for things that aren’t his fault?

Oh wait, sorry. You guys just want to shit on him as much as possible in your little circle-jerk whilst calling anyone who disagrees even SLIGHTLY with your opinion a Vivzie dick-rider or abuse apologist. Yeah, you guys are not critics. You’re antis and haters marauding as critics so that your opinions can be “protected”.

^ (No, disliking Stolas alone does not mean you are the group this paragraph is targeting. If you’re feeling attacked, it’s because you are the “critics” I’m talking about here. If you’re not, then you have no reason to be upset.)

Feel free to disagree but hate will not be tolerated.

[chippedshake]

so i've had this idea for a modern dance au for a while and i need to share it

so soda's dating sandy and they're having Issues. basically sandy was just looking for something casual and soda cannot do casual so now he's super invested and trying to make a long-lasting relationship with someone who doesn't want one, but she also doesn't tell him she doesn't want one because she doesn't have much stability in her life, and it is nice to have someone to depend on and if she broke up with him she'd kinda be completely alone (she has evie but they're not that close).

so. no good guys, no bad guys, just a situation.

anyways, in an effort to salvage the relationship, soda signs up to sandy's dance class. (she takes an urban style that is yet to be decided). without consulting her. to him it's a big romantic gesture, and to her it's him invading what little was left of her life without him.

heh.

so when he gets there, he doesn't understand why sandy's so mad at him and they start getting into bigger and bigger fights.

but he keeps on going because... he thinks it'll change something.

anyways he meets sandy's dance class.

first we have her dance friends: evie. and steve's also there but he doesn't really like anyone but evie (sandy thinks they're dating and accidentally gives soda erroneous information. evie is an aroace lesbian queen and steve is gay. but i digress).

then there's like the popular kids? idk if anyone else has taken dance class but there's always that group of usually girls who've been going there their whole life and have super close connections to each other and are super extroverted and sometimes they'll adopt someone who's new to the class. those are the socs lmao. cherry's like that One Girl who's their leader and the best dancer in the class and you always kinda wanna hate her but also she's just genuinely a good person and you know the only reason you hate her is jealousy.

idk maybe that's just me.

sandy, evie, and steve are me in my contemporary dance class, off to the side and alone during the breaks.

and then soda joins.

and steve hates him.

because soda doesn't take the actual dancing seriously, he's just there for his relationship. he has no past in dance, and has no idea what he's doing. he just follows what people do and isn't coordinated and trips over his own feet and forgets all the choreography and steve wants this to come out well g-ddammit.

anyways they end up bonding and dating eventually and please please please send me asks about this i need to talk about it

[seraphicobserver]

I'll delete this at your command OP, I know I'm not the target audience or people you're asking so I know I may be overstepping (not dating a transmasc currently, nor transhet but I am transmasc!) but I'm a trans man who has not had top surgery and thought maybe I could offer perhaps comforting perspective(?) from my own personal anecdotes and the realizations I've had in queer dating.

And personally? I've come to the conclusion that I don't want someone to hate my body as much as I do. Including the parts that make me dysphoric.

I actually dated a non-binary person (not transmasc) who me attractive pre t and on t. They liked my chest and my body as it was but were also super excited to help me get on HRT and were totally cool and understanding with whatever choice I made. They knew it made me happy and knew it was always a possibility in dating me. They were very cognizant of my dysphoria and would really only commented on certain parts of my body if I instigated it knowing I had issues with dysphoria and honored my boundaries. He was the best partner I had, we ended on amicable terms.

Conversely, I actually recently got out of a relationship with another transmasc (who had top surgery and had been on t longer) who was super uncomfortable with my body and especially my chest, which, to be honest, hurt me more than the partner above who just loved me no matter what. We did not end on good terms.

This was because even if the partner who liked the bits of myself I wanted to change (at the time) they also celebrated the changes just as much. They loved me as I was and supported my choices and bodily autonomy.

I understand the sort of guard we as trans people have with those who may like the parts of our body that make us dysphoric or find them attractive but I don't necessarily believe someone finding trans bodies attractive makes one a chaser (on it's own, of course). Just as I also don't believe finding your partner attractive as they are right now to be a bad thing, I think it can be neutral. The key thing is always the way that we're often merely reduced to our bodies or parts and that people don't consider (different choices in, if they're trans) medical intervention (or lack there of) as a possibility in dating a(nother) trans person. Not being considered as people (a diverse group all with different feelings on our bodies and preferences) but sex objects for the people we're with, not the attraction itself.

I'm sure you honor your partners boundaries and are super respectful of their choices in their medical transition which is frankly the exact opposite. Honestly? I believe seeking out partners who may hate the parts of our bodies we currently may have at these specific stages can actually be really dangerous and toxic in a similar way that dating chasers can be.

But I know we all have different thoughts and feelings on this sort of topic.

And as a trans man who has, with time concluded that top surgery is not for me (I won't get into why I still have complex feelings about that part of me) I find it a bit comforting personally that people could see a pre op trans man on t attractive and be super respectful and cognizant. The perspective that since I'm a man every part of me at every stage as male, or manly, even my tits, helps a lot too lmao. I don't think boobs are always feminine or inherently feminine in nature. Just like I think my voice pre t is a mans voice as much as my deep voice now (though I do prefer my voice now and feel much better with it!).

Just my two cents though! I tried to explain my thoughts as thoroughly as I could.

Anyone else here in a relationship with a transmasc (pre top-surgery) that feels guilty for finding their partner's chest attractive?

Or am the only one?

[bittasol]

smile, iruma! | hey ive been here before