#hate to admit it but i think the only thing that turns me on is when i dont admit that i want the person do some thing to me

[girllblogging777]

hi congrats on 1k!! can i please request a cinnamon tinged tale with mattheo riddle with a scenario where they have a fight and go to bed seperate but they both can’t sleep without each other!!

𝑈𝑁𝑆𝑃𝑂𝐾𝐸𝑁 𝑃𝑅𝑂𝑀𝐼𝑆𝐸𝑆 ˚ ༘✶

↳ bf!mattheo riddle x reader (angst, fluff)

↳ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 : 1.5k

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 :you and your boyfriend can’t sleep without eachother, but you had an argument

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

mattheo’s dorm was unnaturally quiet tonight. no whispers, no soft rustling of sheets, no stolen glances or quiet giggles. just silence, cold and deafening. he laid flat on his back, arms crossed behind his head, his jaw tense as he stared up at the dark ceiling of his room. the argument replaying in his mind on an endless, bitter loop.

he exhaled sharply through his nose. maybe he was an idiot like you had told him. scratch that. he definitely was. your words, heated and full of hurt, had ricocheted off the walls like a spell gone wrong. and instead of deflecting, instead of softening, he’d snapped back with the kind of sharpness he reserved for enemies. not for you. never for you.

but now you were gone. well, not gone-gone, but you weren’t here. you had stormed out of his dorm, muttering something about needing “space.” space. mattheo didn’t even know what to do with space.

his mind wandered to you. where were you now ? back in your own bed, curled up with that damn blanket you refused to replace no matter how many times he teased you about it? where you crying? did you hate him?

the ache in his chest tightened, like a hand gripping his heart. he turned to his side, punching the pillow beneath him in frustration. he needed you, your scent of cinnamon, your quiet murmurs before sleep, the way your hand would instinctively find his beneath the covers. without you, the room felt emptier than it had any right to.

across the castle, you sat cross-legged on your bed, staring out the window. the moon hung low, bathing the grounds in silver light, but your thoughts were anything but serene.

why had you said those things? you hadn’t meant to snap at him. it wasn’t his fault he was reckless, it was just who he was. you knew that, knew it better than anyone. but still, watching him flirt with danger, walking that fine line between thrill and disaster, it drove you insane. you cared too much to stay silent.

you sighed, hugging your knees to your chest. the bed felt too big, too cold without him. even on nights you two argued, you would always ended up tangled together, legs overlapping, breaths mingling. it was impossible to stay away from him and not to break the castle’s rules by sneaking into each other’s rooms past curfew. but tonight, you were alone.

minutes stretched into hours and you kept tossing and turning, thinking about him. at the same moment, mattheo swung his legs out of bed, running a hand through his messy curls. he didn’t care if he’d get caught. he didn’t care if you were still angry. he needed to see you.

suddenly, your bedroom door swung open and you turned around, eyes widening. “mattheo ?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. he stood there, unsure of what to say “i uh… i can’t sleep…”

“neither can i,” you admitted softly, watching him intently.

he stepped closer, his hand twitching at his sides. “i’m sorry, baby. i was a dick. you were just trying to look out for me and i lashed out, it wasn’t fair.”

your heart clenched at his honest words and you looked up at him, “i shouldn’t have pushed you, matt, i just worry about you too much. and sometimes, i feel like i care more about you than you do”

his brows furrowed and he finally reached out, his hand softly brushing against your cheek. “i do care. about me. about us. but i’m just… stupid sometimes.”

you couldn’t help but huff out a small laugh, leaning into his touch. “yup, you are.”

a ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. “does that mean i’m forgiven ?” you pretended to think a moment before answering, sighing. “only if you stay.”

and he didn’t need to be told twice.

moments later, you two were tangled together in your bed, your head resting on his chest as his fingered traced lazy, absentminded patterns on your back. neither of you spoke at first. the quiet felt sacred, too delicate to shatter. but mattheo couldn’t let it end there, not when he had so much to say.

“i don’t ever wanna go to bed mad at you again.” he murmured, his voice soft but heavy with meaning. his fingers stilled against your back, waiting for your response.

you tilted your head up, your chin resting on his chest as your eyes met his. “me neither,” you whispered back, “i hate how it feels, matt.”

he nodded, his hand moving to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing over your soft skin in the dark. “i know, love,” he admitted, “it feels wrong. everything feels wrong without you. i’m sorry i made you feel like i don’t care.” he paused for a second and you waited, silent.

“i care, baby. i care so much if scares the hell out of me sometimes.”

you could see it in his eyes, the way his walls had crumbled entirely for you and how painful that felt for him. mattheo riddle, who always unshakeably confident, was laying himself bare for you.

“i know,” you said in a steady voice. you reached up, your hand curling around his wrist. “but i’ll keep worrying about you, you know ? that’s not gonna change..”

he chuckled, the sound now and warm in the quiet room. “i figured, love. i don’t deserve you.”

“damn right you don’t,” you teased, your lips twitching into a genuine smile. then your voice softened “ but that doesn’t mean i’m going anywhere.”

the tension in mattheo’s body eased at your words, and he pulled you closer, his arms wrapping tightly around you as to shield you from the world. you felt the way his lips brushed against the top of your head, a soft gesture that made your heart flutter.

“i love you,” he said quietly, the words slipping out as naturally as breathing.

“i love you too,” you whispered back, your fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt as your heart pounded against your chest.

for the first time that night, the heavy weight between you lifted and the two of you stayed like that, your breaths syncing and limbs tangled in complete and utter peace. because no matter how messy you were, how much you clashed or stumbled, you always found your way back to eachother.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

a/n : tysm for this amazing idea ! tell me if you wanna be tagged and check out my 1k celebration for more !

@redeemingvillains @leona-hawthorne @shiftingwithmars @tateshifts @rose-of-the-grave @clar2aa @iris-qt @sp7-mr @deadghosy @deadsnakey @helendeath @jolly4holly @larmesdevanille @dexoq @shiftingwithleah @sunkissedscribbles @chelawrites @myunperfektstorys @yikesitslush @slut-for-fictional-men @romantasyreader28 @witchsrecs @mattiesgf @reidol0gy @kenjikishimotoswifey @2dloveshp @hisparentsgallerryy @riddlesgrl

[daisymbin]

Hi belle!! ive loved all the mingyu drabbles ive read from u!! 💗 may i request a mingyu 2nd chance romance with prompt no. 5? 🥹

hello!! yes you definitely can!! & thank you for your compliments 🥹🤍

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist!

second chance prompt #5: "I still keep your picture in my wallet."

mingyu had always been good at pretending. pretending he didn’t still think about you when he woke up in the morning, pretending that he didn’t miss the way you laughed, how your presence could fill up a room. he was good at pretending, until he saw you again.

when he walked into the café, with the sun hitting your face just right, mingyu felt his chest tighten. he wasn’t supposed to be here. not like this. he had told himself time and time again that seeing you again would only make it worse. but when joshua casually mentioned you were in town, mingyu couldn’t stop himself from asking if he could come along.

he hadn’t realized how much he needed to see you until now, until he was standing next to you, feeling that familiar pull he’d tried so hard to bury.

as he paid for everyone's drinks, mingyu didn’t notice the photo slip from his wallet until it fluttered onto the counter.

it was the polaroid of you at the beach. he’d kept it there for so long, tucked into the folds of his wallet, a small token of a time that felt so far away but still so close.

he watched as you froze, your eyes locking onto the photo with a recognition that hit him like a punch in the gut.

"why..." you whispered, your voice cracking. "why do you have this still?"

mingyu’s heart dropped. he wasn’t sure why he’d kept it. maybe it was because he still couldn’t let go. maybe it was because he knew, deep down, that the version of you in that picture—the carefree, happy version—was something he would never find again. not with anyone else.

“i still keep your picture in my wallet,” he admitted, his voice coming out quieter than he intended.

your gaze never left the photo, your breath catching in your throat. mingyu’s chest ached, knowing how much the past still hurt you.

“mingyu…”

he ran a hand through his hair, wishing he could take back the way things ended between you. “i know. i know i messed up. i shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. but i couldn’t throw this away. it felt wrong to.”

you looked at him then, your eyes filled with so many emotions he couldn’t decipher. “you’re still holding on to this... after everything? after we—”

“i couldn’t forget you,” he cut you off, his words spilling out before he could stop them. “i’ve tried, but i can’t. you were never just a phase for me. you were... everything.”

he saw the way your lip trembled. “why did you leave then?”

mingyu swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. “i thought i was doing the right thing. i thought it would be easier if i just let you go. i thought maybe you’d be happier without me.”

“you’re a fool,” you whispered, tears brimming in your eyes. “you broke me, mingyu.”

he felt the sharp sting of those words deep in his chest. “i know. i know i did, and i hate myself for it.”

“so why now?” you asked, voice breaking. “why did you reach out now, after all this time?”

mingyu’s eyes softened. “because i couldn’t stay away. seeing you again—it felt like a sign. a chance to fix the mess i made.”

“but i don’t know if i can trust you again.” you wiped away a tear, turning your face away.

his heart cracked at the sight. “i wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t. i wouldn’t blame you if you hated me for what i did.”

“i don’t hate you,” you said quietly, voice almost a whisper.

mingyu took a step closer, hesitating before he reached out and gently cupped your cheek. “then why do you look like you’re about to cry every time you look at me?”

you met his gaze, eyes glossy with emotion. “because i still care about you, mingyu. i still miss you. i never stopped loving missing you.”

he let out a breath, the weight of your words settling on him like a heavy burden. he had been a fool. “i didn’t want to hurt you. i swear to god, i didn’t. but i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“so, what now?” you asked, looking at him through a haze of tears. “what do we do now?”

mingyu could feel the answer in his bones. he’d never been more certain of anything in his life.

“we try again,” he said, his voice firm, resolute. “we start over. i’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that i can be the person you deserve.”

your eyes searched his, doubt lingering behind your gaze. “you mean it?”

“i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t,” he said softly, his thumb brushing across your cheek. “i’ve never meant anything more.”

you stared at him for a long moment, as if trying to figure out if he was telling the truth. finally, you let out a shaky breath and nodded. “okay,” you whispered. “but don’t mess this up, mingyu. i can’t go through this again.”

“i won’t,” he promised, leaning in and gently pressing his forehead to yours. “i swear to you, i won’t mess it up this time.”

he didn’t need words to tell you how much he meant it. his lips found yours in a soft, hesitant kiss. the world outside faded, and for the first time in a long time, mingyu felt like he was home.

[taurasiscntybun]

But we’re roommates! Pt 2

-College DT x nerdy reader

-18 plus minors DNI

-Warnings: Adult language, anxiety, internalized homophobia, descriptions of foreplay, virginity kink

-2,800 words

Diana’s POV

I shove my headphone over my head, my hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, the curls threatening to escape. 50 cent blares in my ear as I cross through the hallway of the dormitory.

“Distracts me?” I mutter to myself. I don’t understand my weird ass roommate, it’s rare she actually talks to me, even rarer that she comes close. Maybe it’s for the best, if she knew the thoughts I had about her I'm sure she’d never speak to me again.

“Distracts me?” I mumble again, I’m stuck on that, it has to fucking mean something. Why would it bother her if I’m in my sports bra? I wish she wouldn’t walk around in her goddamn tank top and shorts, well not really, I think her thin sleep shirt is my favorite thing she owns. I let out a groan as I picture her, the thin fabric stretching over her tits.

“Fuck” I mumble and shake my head to clear the thoughts. If only she knew how distracting she was, I keep my music blaring so I don’t notice her. I already know today is going to be a waste in class. Not that I give two fucks about my English class, as long as I get a C I can keep my scholarship and keep playing basketball. I should care more, I’m the first in my family to go to college; I’m not gonna flunk out or some shit but I’m happy with getting by. I hate my English class the most, what the fuck am I learning by reading Beowulf and Pride and Prejudice? At least my roomie helps me with English, she’s so smart. I turn up the volume on my mp3 player, keeping my mind from drifting to thoughts about my nervous baby bunny. I wave to a few people as I walk through the green, I don’t know everyone but since my face was on the fucking school magazine everyone seems to know me. Finally I get to one of the biggest buildings on campus, it’s on the other side of the fucking campus from my dorm but at least most of my classes are here. I glance down at my watch and swear under my breath, I’m like five minutes late.

“Miss Taurasi, you do know class starts at nine, correct?” My professor says, a smug look on his face.

“Yes sir, I got held up this morning.” I reply and flop down in my seat, pulling out my notebook.

“It’s five minutes, can he fucking chillax?” I mumble under my breath as he drones on about the oral history of Beowulf. I should be paying attention, I should be taking notes, but I can’t stop thinking about my fucking roommate. The way my hands fit perfectly around her waist, her touching my shoulder, her soft voice saying I’m distracting plays over and over in my head. It means something, it has too; why would my sweaty body be distracting to her? I look up from my blank notebook, realizing.

”Fuck, she’s attracted to me.” I mutter without thinking and a few heads turn my way but I ignore them. Now all I want is my classes to be over so I can get back to my dorm.

“Oh god, shit.” You say and run your fingers through your hair. Your classes start a little later in the day, back to back history classes then humanities. You stare at Diana’s unmade bed and replay your conversation. You had admitted she was distracting, you’d said her body was distracting.

“God she’s gonna think I’m some lesbo weirdo.” You mutter and pace the small space.

”No.. no.. it’s normal to be distracted, she’s hot.” You try and reassure yourself but it doesn’t work, you know deep down that the feelings you have towards Diana aren’t platonic. You want to feel her big hands on you, her lips, her everything, you want to be consumed by her presence. She’s gorgeous, a mix of strong muscles and soft curves that make your mouth water.

“Don’t be weird, it’s fine, it’s fine.” You dress quickly, a tank top and loose cargo pants and hurry out the door for class; your mind clouded with anxiety with before class.

The rest of the day goes by in a droning bore, your classes blurring together as your stomach tumbles in anxiety. When your last class leaves you bolt for the door and race across campus to your dorm. Diana’s day ends before yours but she has practice so it’s fine.

“Calm down, calm down, its fine, she’s at practice and I’m sure she doesn’t even remember what I said this morning.” You mutter as you fit the key in your dorm room door. You swing it open and yelp as Diana looks up at you from her bed.

”Finally you're home, I didn't know when your last class ended.” She says and stands to come closer.

”No it’s Monday, your math class lets out at four and your practice starts at four-thirty, why are you here? It’s five?” You say and shake your head.

“You memorized my schedule?” She asks and cocks her head to the side, her hair is down for once and the dark curls bob as she turns her head.

”I..I..I wanted to know the times you wouldn’t be here, for.. for studying.” You stammer, still standing in the open doorway. Diana gives you a wolffish grin and takes another step towards you, she’s in touching distance now but she feels much closer, her large statue looming.

”Oh yes because I’m so distracting right?”

“Y..your music and..and..” You stammer but she cuts you off by grabbing you and pulling you into the room, the door clicking shut and locking behind her.

”We dont need to have this talk with the door open.” Diana says in a hushed tone, her hands still on your arms.

”And I know, you find me walking around in my sports bra very distracting right?” She taunts, her thumbs rubbing up and down your bare arms, leaving goosebumps along your skin.

”I..I..”

“Why does my body distract you Baby bunny?” She whispers, drawing you even closer.

”I’m not the genius you are but could I be distracting you because you find me hot?” She’s standing so close now you could count the freckles across her face, she looks down at you with a serious expression, something you're not used to. You look up at her slack jawed and you know you're blushing but you can’t stop. You try to think of something, anything to say to her but your mind is drawing a blank.

”Y..yes you..you are pretty but..but lots of g..girls are pretty.” You stammer and try to pull away but her grip tightens to nearly painful.

”Do you look at a lot of other girls?” She whispers and searches your face.

”I..I mean a normal amount, everyone notices pretty girls right? I mean you notice pretty girls right?” You answer nervously and look down. Diana moves one of her hands from your arm to under your chin and she tilts your head up gently to look at her.

”Oh yeah, I notice pretty girls, all the time, but then again I don’t notice boys.. if you understand what I mean. I definitely fucking notice you. You think I’m distracting? Baby I can hardly think when you're around, everything comes out in a rush of word vomit when you look at me with your big eyes.” She’s leaned down to you, your air mingling as her eyes dart from yours to your lips.

“Do you feel the same way baby? Am I right?” Diana says, her tone so hushed its barely audible over the roaring in your ears. The room feels too small, Diana too close, you can’t breathe let alone think. As if she can read your thoughts she takes a step back and lets go of your arms, raising her hands in surrender.

“Tell me I’m wrong, tell me to fuck off and I’ll never bring it up again, I’ll even wear a shirt all the time.“ Her eyes search your face and you can see the quiet vulnerability in her face. You’re frozen, not able to deny how you feel but not knowing what to say either. Diana looks at you concerned and then a look of understanding crosses over her face.

“You’re new to liking girls aren’t you? Or rather new to admitting it to yourself?” Her tone is soft and her gaze warm. She sits on her bed and pats the place next to her.

“It’s ok, everyone’s been there.” You take a tentative step towards her, trying to think of anything to say.

“If you don’t say anything cause you’re scared of rejection, don’t be.” Diana says in a hushed tone and you sit, she immediately puts her hand on your thigh, nothing scandalous just resting on your knee but it was enough to get your blood heating.

“I don’t know why I feel this way about… about you.” You say softly and turn to look at her.

“Are you attracted to me? Do you get distracted by my body because it turns you on? You don’t understand why I affect you… it’s nothing I did baby, you just like women.” Diana says and grins, her touch on your thigh turning teasing as she traced patterns on your inner thigh; the calluses on her long fingers leaving goosebumps under your pants.

“It’s ok, I feel the same way, I want you baby, fuck I want to kiss you all the time, I want you to come to my games in my jersey. I want to devour you.” Her tone dropped as she spoke and she squeezed your thigh for emphasis on the last part. You let out a hushed whimper and she moved closer, her hand moving up your thigh.

“You gotta say something babygirl, I’m not going to keep touching you unless I’m sure you want it.” She starts to pull away and immediately you feel the loss of contact and speak before thinking.

“No please keep touching me. Fuck I want you to touch me please.” You admit and she grinned.

“Thank fuck.” Diana groans and doesn’t give you a chance to respond before pulling you in tight, her lips crashing into yours. You freeze, your body locking up under the foreign touch.

“Come on baby, let go, let me show you how I good I can make you feel.” Diana says and kisses down your neck.

“Don’t think, just feel; you want me to keep touching you? Well I want you to touch me too, give in baby.” She almost begs and her soft suck on your pulse point makes you come undone. You melt against her, and pull her down for another kiss. Your kiss is clumsy and unpracticed but passionate; Diana’s hand comes up behind you and tangles in your hair, tilting your head back as she takes control. She slows your kiss, her mouth moving against yours with practiced ease.

“God you don’t know what you do to me.” Diana practically growls and pulls away a bit.

“Talk to me baby.” She begs and strokes your back.

”Im sorry I..I’m not good at this at uh talking about stuff.” You manage to say and she grins.

“No apologies baby, you don’t need to try, just be you.” She kisses down your jaw and you gasp.

“O..Ok” you say in a breathy tone, collecting yourself a bit.

”I like you, i really like you in a way I haven’t liked another girl before and I didn't know what to do or how to act because i didn't want you to think I’m a freak but then that meant you needed to stay away from me because my like brain stops working when you're around.” Your words tumble out a fast long sentence and Diana pulls away to process your words.

“Firstly I dont think you're a freak, I’m actually super fucking happy that you have feelings for me because fuck I’ve wanted you since you walked into this dorm all wide eyed and excited the first day.” She smiles and pulls you close again, this time in a tight hug, Diana was successfully breaking your walls down, bit by little bit. She waited until she felt you relax in her embrace to speak.

“When you see me walking around in my underwear what are you thinking baby?” She whispers against your hair, her tone low.

”I..I..” You start to stutter in response.

”You tell me and I’ll tell you what I’m thinking when I see you in your cute little pajamas.” She teases, moving her head down to whisper in your ear.

“I..I think about your body and.. and how much I like it and want to touch you. I..I think about your boobs probably too much and your uh sweaty sports bras hide little.” You admit and pull away again, sitting next to her. Diana raises her eyebrows in question.

”My…boobs?” She asks and looks down at her somewhat flat chest.

“Yes yes I think about them all the time, every time I see you without a bra at night or when you walk around after practice. God Diana were you not doing that on purpose?” You ask, you're softening, feeling more comfortable with her now that your crush was out in the open. Diana laughs and shakes her head incredulously.

”I honestly just started dressing in here because it seemed to annoy you and you look so adorable when you're mad but you weren’t mad were you? You were horny?” She hooks a finger in your belt loop and tugs you towards her, forcing your body to angle to her. You blush and look down at your hands in your lap.

“Nah baby dont get shy on me now, you were just telling me how much you like my boobs.” Diana’s hands cover yours and you tilt your head to look at her.

“Do you wanna see ‘em baby?” Her voice drops to a whisper and she looks down at you with heat in her gaze. You suddenly realize yes, you’d very much like to see her boobs and the rest of her.

”Yes, Diana I..I want you.” You say in a shaky tone and bite your lip. She lets out a groan in response.

“Ok , you can have me but fuck that means I get you, I get to really know you, you gotta let me in.” Dianas words came out in almost a plea, she needed you as much as you needed her right now.

“Yes I promise Dee you can-“

”Don’t call me that.” She cuts you off abruptly and you look at her in confusion.

”But everyone calls you that?”

“Yeah but you aren’t everyone and you’ve never called me Dee, I uh I like that you're the only one that calls me by my full name. To everyone Im Dee or DT but you have always called me Diana.” She brings your hands to her lips and kisses across your knuckles; you're left breathless by the reverence in her touch.

”Diana I promise I’ll be myself, I want you, I don’t want to hide from you anymore.” You admit to her as she kisses your knuckles again.

“Thank god baby, now I want to touch you, I want to touch you everywhere, can I?” Diana asks softly and drags her big hands up your arms.

“I wanna show you how much I like you.” Her thumbs hook under the thin straps of your tank top and pulls them down your shoulders.

”I..I dont know what to do, i.. I’ve never..” You stutter and she groans low in her throat.

”Fuck are you telling me you're a virgin?” Her thumbs move in small circles on your shoulders as she looks down at you predatorily.

“Y..yeah I uh have never with uh anyone.” You say quietly, a touch embarrassed.

”But you want me to touch you right? You want me to make you cum dont you baby bunny?” She asks in a raspy tone, dipping her head to kiss down your neck.

“Y.yes Diana p..please.” You say and let your head lull to the side giving her more access.

“Mhhmm you're so beautiful.” She said against your skin, one hand fisted in your hair to gently lean your head and her other hand wandered up your body, teasing at the hem of your shirt.

“Diana please I..I want you to make me cum I… I want you.” You whine and arch your back into her touch, your body automatically knowing what to do. Diana chuckles against your skin and places one more kiss on your pulse point before pulling away.

“Ok baby but first I need you out of these clothes.” She leans down and starts untying your sneakers, her long finger moving deftly as she undoes the knot and slips the shoe off you.

“Lay back, lemme take care of you.” She says softly and kisses your inner ankle sending a buzz of heat through your body. Diana repeats her actions with your other shoe then stands.

[famoussharkhairdoknight]

Meet my sister P.3-Jude Bellingham

Part.1,Part.2

plot: Federico Valverde wants to introduce his younger sister to Jude, his teammate. He hoped that something romantic would be born between them seeing that their characters were perfect together but things take a different turn.

Jude, although trying to avoid the situation, found himself, almost unintentionally, on the dance floor. He didn’t know how he ended up there—perhaps pushed by curiosity, or maybe because his teammates had dragged him along—but now he was right in the middle of the crowded floor. He tried to maintain his usual indifference, but when he looked up, he saw you. And as always, he couldn’t help but look.

You were dancing with a natural sensuality, every movement flowing perfectly with the music, and the way you moved made everyone turn their heads. The colorful lights illuminated you, creating an irresistible contrast with your smile and the energy you radiated. Jude tried to focus on something else, but his eyes kept returning to you. He couldn’t help but watch you, even though he hated it.

His breath became deeper, and without meaning to, his body seemed to grow more rigid. He tried to ignore you, but that feeling of annoyance he’d felt earlier returned. He hated how you could capture everyone’s attention with just one move, how effortlessly you commanded the room.

In a burst of arrogance, Jude took a step toward you, as if wanting to provoke you, maybe to distract himself from how he was feeling. He stopped nearby, close enough to be noticed. Without hesitation, he threw you a look full of disdain, but there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper feeling, one he couldn’t suppress.

"Nice to see you in the spotlight," he said sarcastically, as he approached you, trying to get under your skin. "You really are one of those who can’t help but be noticed, huh?"

You paused for a moment, looking at him with your mocking smile, your body still moving to the rhythm, but Jude’s tone didn’t go unnoticed. You looked at him, raising an eyebrow, fully aware that his behavior was hiding something more. You didn’t care about his provocations; in fact, it entertained you. You’d never seen someone so arrogant, and you weren’t afraid to face him.

"Are you trying to make me feel embarrassed?" you replied with sarcasm, giving him a challenging look. "But don’t worry, Jude. It’s not my fault the rest of the room is looking at me."

Jude curled his lips into a half-smile, almost as if to challenge you further, and stepped closer. "I don’t think you’re the only one here seeking attention. But you sure do a good job of it," he said, irritation lacing his voice, but his arrogant expression never wavered.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," you responded, taking a step back, but maintaining your confident attitude. "And anyway, if I bother you so much, I don’t think you need to stay here staring at me."

His gaze grew more intense, as though he were fighting a feeling he didn’t understand. But, as usual, Jude didn’t want to admit that something about you was fascinating him, even if he tried to hide it behind his arrogance.

"It’s not that you annoy me," he replied, trying to stay calm. "But I can’t help but notice how you move. And I can assure you, you’re not the only one catching attention."

Meanwhile, his voice betrayed a slight tension, as if he wasn’t entirely convinced by his own words.

The game between you and Jude was becoming more intense. You could see him irritated, trying to maintain his indifferent facade, but you could clearly tell something was bothering him. You decided to take advantage of it, approaching him with a determined step, your body moving provocatively. There was no need to speak: your actions spoke for themselves.

You stopped right in front of him, your cheeky smile in place, while the sound of the music seemed to blend with the beating of his heart. You slowly got closer, your body brushing against his, a calculated move to make him even more nervous. You could feel his breath becoming deeper, his body stiffening as he tried to maintain control. But you weren’t planning on letting him get away so easily.

"Are you really trying to ignore me?" you whispered softly, giving him a challenging look. Then, with a slow and precise movement, you rubbed against him, your body pressing against his, feeling how his muscles tensed at the contact.

Jude, completely caught off guard, cursed himself. His mind tried to rationalize the situation, but his body betrayed every logical thought. The heat you radiated, your sensuality seeming to invade him, made him feel as though he was losing control. He couldn’t deny it: his body was responding to you, and that irritated him even more.

"You're one of those, huh?" he said, trying to maintain a semblance of calm. But the tone of his voice betrayed a hint of nervousness. "You like to provoke, don’t you?"

Your smile became even more mischievous as you moved even closer, the contact between your bodies becoming unavoidable. "Maybe I like seeing how much you’re bothered by me," you replied, giving him a knowing smile. "Or maybe I like seeing how you can’t resist."

His mind was preparing to respond, but the thought of how his body was reacting to you confused him. He didn’t want you to win this battle, but he knew he was struggling. He hadn’t expected you to have such an effect on him, and now he couldn’t pull away from you.

"Don’t think you’ve won," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "But this game... it’s not over yet."

You, with a mocking smile, ridiculed him, pulling away from him with a fluid movement, almost as if it had been a game for you. You could feel him burning with desire and frustration, but you didn’t care. In that moment, you had taken control, and Jude would never want to admit it, but you had deeply bothered him.

You pulled away from him gracefully, enjoying his reaction, seeing how his body seemed to lag behind, unable to do anything but watch you as you moved further away. The distance you had created between you both seemed, ironically, to make him feel colder, more irritated. His skin, which had just been enveloped by the heat of your body, now seemed frozen.

Jude stared at you, his gaze full of hatred but also uncontrollable desire. His eyes pierced you, but there was also a challenge hidden behind that stare, an expression that betrayed his true thought: he wouldn’t let you win.

Without saying a word, he looked at you intensely, and in the silence that fell between you, he swore to himself that he would tame you. He would force you to become the good girl he thought you could be, the one who would obey without provoking so much. He was determined to challenge you and break you, to show you that he, Jude Bellingham, wouldn’t be easily knocked down by a provocateur like you.

As you walked away, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he had seen you move, how his cock had hardened,the heat you had left on his skin, and how frustrating it was that, despite everything, he couldn’t get you out of his mind. His mind was a chaos of conflicting emotions, but the only thing he was certain of was that he would make you his, one way or another.

[happylittledrabbles]

Please, Daddy

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Nanami Kento

Character Count: ~8,500K

Rating: Explicit, 18+

AO3

It was a lazy spring afternoon, one that mimicked the dead of summer with its humidity and heat. All the windows were open, but that did nothing to abate the torturous conditions inside the classroom. The curtains blowing offered a promise of some respite, but the wind was just as hot and provided no relief from the blazing temperatures.

Nobara held a small fan to her face while Megumi patted his forehead with a handkerchief, neither of which helped their fatigue.

“This sucks!” Yuji groaned, kicking his feet onto the desk and leaning his chair back.

“You’re going to fall over,” Megumi said, to which Yuji rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, if I was an idiot, maybe,” he retorted. Nobara stuck out her foot and tapped the leg of the chair, giving it that last push it needed to send Yuji toppling backwards onto the floor.

“Oops,” was all Nobara had to say as she watched her friend groan and wriggle around on the floor in pain.

“Kugisaki, you asshole!” he shouted. “As if this day couldn’t get any worse.”

Nobara sighed and got out of her seat, walking over to Yuji and kneeling. She placed a finger on her chin in thought before brightening, her grin catching Yuji off guard. “I know what’ll make you feel better. Let’s gossip about our teachers.”

The three of them huddled in a circle on the floor with Nobara going first.

“Kusakabe,” she offered, with the boys looking up to the ceiling in thought.

“I think he has boner problems,” Yuji said, making Nobara and Megumi wince in disgust. But the more they thought about it, the more it made sense.

“Do you think he takes pills for it?” Megumi asked, but Nobara shook her head.

“I think he’s too ashamed. And then he cries whenever he does it because he can’t get it up, and the woman has to comfort him,” she said, although she quickly regretted it as they all cringed at the image.

“Oh, man, let’s move on,” Megumi said, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think I’ll be able to look at him the same anymore.”

“Let’s do Gojo,” Nobara replied excitedly, to which Megumi swiftly shook his head.

“That’s our main teacher! We have to look at him every day—we can’t do him,” Megumi objected, although it was only half the truth. He already saw Satoru as a father figure, as much as he hated admitting that to himself. He didn’t want to discuss his sex life.

“I think Gojo does hard drugs,” Yuji said, ignoring Megumi’s outburst. “Like, cocaine and stuff. It gets him really wired to do it.”

“Oh, gross,” Megumi whined as he buried his face in his hands.

“What’s gross?”

Speak of the devil. The trio’s heads snapped up as the very man they were gossiping about strode into the classroom, a stack of papers and folders in one hand and a mug that read ‘#1 Teacher’ in the other. He set down his things and placed his hands on his hips as he stared at his students, who were gawking at him as if a curse was eating his face off.

“Hello? Earth to idiots?” he said, snapping in the air to get their attention.

Nobara, ever the quick-witted girl, looked between Megumi and Yuji’s shocked faces and smirked to herself. She had thought of an excuse the second she heard her teacher’s voice, but she liked the idea of messing with all of them better. She cleared her throat and said, “We were gossiping about our teachers.”

“Kugisaki!” Megumi and Yuji’s voices overlapped as they exclaimed in horror, turning their irritation onto her.

However, Satoru wasn’t surprised in the slightest. In fact, he rushed over to the trio and grabbed a chair, turning it backward to sit on it and place his arms on the back of the chair, leaning forward in intrigue. “Oh? One of my favorite conversation topics. Go ahead, shoot. What’d you guys say about me?”

Megumi and Yuji’s faces then morphed into genuine interest as to what Nobara had planned. How was she going to get out of the hole she dug herself?

By answering honestly, of course.

“We said you do hard drugs to do it,” she said matter-of-factly. “Like coke. That really gets you going.”

Satoru stared for a moment, shell-shocked, before dissolving into laughter. He slapped his thigh and hung his head over the chair, the trio laughing along nervously at his strange reaction. Once he finally got ahold of himself, Satoru looked back up and inhaled sharply. “Good guess. What about Nanami?”

“Confirm nor deny. Smart,” Nobara remarked, high-giving her teacher. The boys were less than enthused. However, once she processed Nanami’s name, she barked out a laugh. “Nanami Kento? That guy’s a virgin, one hundred percent.”

“Kugisaki, don’t be mean,” Megumi chastised, but he was the sole objection on that one. Yuji and Nobara fell into bouts of laughter while nodding.

“You’re so right,” Yuji said. “How old is he, forty? No way some straight like him gets anything. Can you imagine him flirting?”

“He’s twenty-seven, and no,” Megumi said with a sigh. He knew he was giving in, but it was true: Nanami didn’t seem to have one romantic bone in his body. He couldn’t even picture him with a woman on his arm—the sight would probably send the three of them into anaphylactic shock.

He watched Nobara and Yuji laughing together before he turned his attention to Satoru, who was staring down at them with an unreadable expression. “You’re awfully quiet, Gojo-sensei. Wouldn’t you know better than all of us about him?”

Satoru choked on his spit at that, coughing into his fist as a prickly blush climbed up his neck and blotched his cheeks. “W-what? Why would you think that? I don’t know Nanami at all like that.”

“You’re both teachers,” Yuji pointed out with a shrug. “Wouldn’t you guys talk in the teacher’s lounge or something?”

Oh, Satoru thought with a sigh of relief. They meant it like that. He visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping as he played with the bottom of his blindfold. “He’s never mentioned a girlfriend. Or any romantic interest, for that matter. No matter how much I’ve tried seducing him!”

Satoru whined to punctuate the fact that it was a joke to his students, who laughed and pulled disgusted faces at the thought of their beloved teachers kissing. However, Satoru wasn’t telling a joke. He had genuinely tried seducing Nanami on multiple occasions, having had a crush on him since Nanami called him up about becoming a jujutsu sorcerer again and he got to see just how much the blond had grown since they were in school together. The scrawny teen with a terrible haircut he had once known had grown into a muscled, attractive, and stoic man who made people think sinful thoughts just by looking at him.

Satoru could barely believe his eyes, although his pounding heart gave away just what he suspected he was feeling: arousal. He hadn’t felt that sensation in a long time, despite what his students—or anybody, really—thought. Nanami had brought it out of him, and the more he rejected Satoru and treated him terribly, the more Satoru wanted him. Frankly, it turned him on, just how respectable and stable Nanami was. A salaryman who took care of himself, who read and exercised and enjoyed the small things in life. Additionally, the sincere concern he had for his students—for any child—made Satoru want to raise a family with him, a thought he’d never had with anybody, ever.

Nanami was perfect partner material on top of being incredibly sexy. He was perfect. Except for the fact that he hated Satoru’s guts.

“Okay, okay, so Nanami,” Nobara said, pursing her lips together pensively. “I think…he definitely has a hidden kink even though he’s a virgin.”

“I’m going to throw something out there,” Yuji said conspiratorially. “I think he has a daddy kink.”

Satoru’s previous melancholic expression morphed into intense curiosity. He needed all the help he could get, as evidenced by the fact that he was secretly soliciting his students’ help with hopefully romancing Nanami successfully. “You think so? Like, calling people daddy? Or being called that?”

“Being called,” Yuji replied. “No way that guy gives into anybody. He’s as tightly wound as a stretched rubber band. He hates his job, hates being a jujutsu sorcerer, and is a virgin on top of all of that. He’s going to snap at any time.”

The more Yuji spoke, the more Satoru could understand why Nanami was the way that he was. He’d dealt with more trauma than the general population combined, had to submit to his dick boss every day, then deal with more shit in the way of curses. Plus, blue balls would drive any man crazy.

If he needed to snap, so be it—so long as it was with Satoru in the room. And perhaps being called ‘daddy’ would be the driving factor. At that point, Satoru had tried everything. What was one more shot in the dark?

“He’s definitely DILF material,” Nobara said, biting her bottom lip.

Megumi shoved her shoulder so hard that she fell onto the floor in a laughing mess. “You can’t say that about a teacher! You guys are hopeless.”

“DILF?” Satoru asked, tilting his head. “Is this another young person slang word I’m not privy to? You guys make me feel older every day.”

“No way you haven’t heard of DILF,” Yuji said, dumbfounded. “I mean, MILF? It’s just the dad version. Dad I’d like to…you know.”

That woke Satoru up to the fact that he was having this type of conversation with his students, his children. He stood up and swiftly shoved the chair back in its place before taking his place at the front of the classroom.

“Okay, that’s enough,” he said, sorting through his materials to ignore the horrid blush flaming his cheeks. “Let’s begin class.”

When the trio left the classroom after their lesson, Satoru thought back to Yuji’s explanation and chuckled. He had found a way to seduce Nanami. It was far-fetched, but he had exhausted everything else. And he was going to use it.

The only way to get Nanami to hang out with him was to show up wherever he was unexpectedly and follow him around until he relented. Nanami wasn’t exactly rude. He’d speak to Satoru, albeit sparingly. But Satoru couldn’t shake the fact that they weren’t spending time together—he was just following Nanami while he was doing chores.

Not this time. He was going to force Nanami to spend time with him. Which led him to standing on Nanami’s doorstep with a six-pack of beer in one hand and a movie CD in the other.

When Nanami opened the door, he barely got out a ‘hello?’ before his face dropped upon seeing Satoru.

“Don’t look so excited to see me, old pal,” Satoru said, but he couldn’t hide the sharp pain in his chest on his face. Luckily, he had his black blindfold on, which at least hid half his facial expressions. “Surprise! We haven’t hung out in so long, I decided I’d drop by for a movie night.”

“We’ve never hung out,” Nanami said tiredly. Had he been sleeping? He was in sweatpants and a black T-shirt, a casual look Satoru had never seen him in before. It did nothing to hide the lust building in his stomach just at the sight of Nanami. He thought he was attracted to Nanami in suits, but perhaps a simple pair of sweatpants was all he needed to fold over. It did a great job at highlighting Nanami’s crotch, anyhow.

“Well, let’s start now!” Satoru said, pushing past Nanami into his apartment since he knew Nanami would never invite him in. He set the beer on the coffee table in front of the couch before settling on the floor to pop the CD into the player. “I rented us Inception. I heard it’s really good.”

“It is,” Nanami said, shutting the door behind him. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he stared down at Satoru, not moving from the front door. “I’ve watched it. It’s also almost three hours long.”

“Yay, three hours we get to spend together!” Satoru said with a clap. “Come on, sit down, let’s drink.”

“You don’t drink,” Nanami remarked. He glanced up at the ceiling before closing his eyes with a sigh. After running a hand down his face, he relented and walked over, sitting on the floor across the table from Satoru.

“So I don’t,” Satoru said and tried not to show the excitement on his face. Nanami remembered something about him. He knew something about Satoru, something that would only happen if he paid attention to Satoru. “But it’s no matter! I’ll just watch you drink. You can put the rest in your fridge. Call it a housewarming present.”

Nanami took a beer out of the plastic and stared at it, pushing his hair out of his eyes. It was down and slightly wet at the ends from a shower, and Satoru had to look at the floor to prevent himself from blushing anymore at the sight of Nanami with his hair down. He looked so vulnerable, so in his element.

As Nanami regarded the beer can, Satoru took the opportunity to glance around the apartment. He’d never been inside Nanami’s apartment, and it was exactly as he thought it’d be. Everything was tidy and had its place. The apartment itself was humbly small, with what seemed like only one bedroom hidden beyond a slightly ajar door down a hallway. He had a modestly-sized television set on a TV stand full of books and magazines. His kitchen was spotless, and his small dining table had a vase with a blooming bouquet. It was strange and inexplicable how much the normalcy turned Satoru on. After the life he’d lived, all the trauma he’d endured, all he wanted was to settle down someday.

“Thanks,” Nanami said, the sound of the beer fizzling drawing Satoru back into reality. As he watched Nanami take a sip from the can, he realized that he wanted to settle down with Nanami.

“You’re very welcome,” he said. “That’s your favorite brand, right?”

Nanami swallowed and set the can down on the table. His brows raised high on his forehead as he pursed his lips. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. Thank you, Gojo-san. I’m not sure how you remembered that.”

I remember everything about you, Satoru almost said but caught himself last minute. “I already told you to drop it with the san. Just call me Satoru.”

“Mm,” Nanami hummed indifferently. His eyes drifted to the TV screen before grabbing the remote. “Are you going to make these movie nights a habit?”

Satoru’s heart dropped at that. Did Nanami truly hate him? Had he been so caught up in seducing him that he had been imagining things, that he had ignored all of Nanami’s rebuffs?

He bit his bottom lip and shrugged defeatedly. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t like them.”

He watched as the lump in Nanami’s throat bobbed when he swallowed thickly. “I don’t mind them.” He scoffed. “It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

Okay, they were getting somewhere. Satoru didn’t especially like Nanami having to resort to hanging out with him, but they were at least hanging out. He could work with this.

He leaned forward on his hand over the table, smirking at Nanami as the blond desperately tried to avoid eye contact. “Really? You don’t have any dates or anything? A good-looking guy like you—you should be drowning in women, Nanamin.”

The corner of Nanami’s lip curled at the nickname, but he had learned better than to correct Satoru. “No, I’m not,” he replied, although he didn’t seem too broken up about it. “I’m not a playboy like you.”

Satoru took genuine offense to that, slapping a hand to his chest. “Playboy? Playboy! Nanamin, you’ve burned me!”

If only Nanami knew the lengths Satoru had gone to seduce him, how many people he’d rebuffed at the slightest chance of getting in his pants. But he couldn’t say that. Not yet.

“You know, the students were gossiping about you,” Satoru said, reciting the script he’d created prior to knocking on Nanami’s door.

That took Nanami’s attention away from the movie long enough to glance at Satoru. “Oh? What did they say?” He narrowed his eyes. “And how do you know if you weren’t taking part in it?”

Nanami always knew exactly what to say to catch Satoru off guard. He did not expect that in his script. Nanami spoke so little, it seemed impossible for him to go off-script. Lo and behold.

“I just walked in on them speaking about you and demanded them to tell me what they said so I could punish them, I swear!” Satoru cried, but all Nanami did was look back at the movie. “Okay, but I’ll tell you what they said, and you can decide on their punishment after I tell you. They said that…well, that you’re a virgin. Ridiculous, right?”

Nanami’s expression went blank, and his arm shot out for the remote. He paused the movie and turned to Satoru, who stared back at him with an expectant smile. He took another swig of his beer and sighed. “They’ll have to spend thirty extra minutes every day after class cleaning the school for that.”

Satoru’s smile dropped. “But…but, they’re wrong, right?”

Nanami shot Satoru a look before it melted into something different. Something Satoru couldn’t parse. Was it guilt?

“Yes, they’re wrong,” Nanami said then chuckled humorlessly. “Although, I can understand why they think that. I don’t exactly present myself as somebody capable of…that.”

Satoru didn’t like seeing Nanami sad, but seeing him this dejected hurt even worse. This was the exact opposite of what he wanted to happen. He shuffled forward so that he was next to Nanami, giving him a healthy amount of space before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, what’d I say? An attractive guy like you—it makes sense if you get tons of action. But, I mean, I knew I’d find you at home on a Friday night instead of out anywhere.”

Nanami chuckled again, this time more good-naturedly. He ran a hand through his hair, but his hair just flopped back onto his forehead. “You know me too well, Gojo—ah, S-Satoru. That sounds so strange.”

Hearing his first name on Nanami’s tongue was euphoric. He wanted to hear it more. Hearing it made him feel as inebriated as if he had drank the entire pack of beer. It took away all of his inhibitions—the few that he had—and lubricated his lips so that anything and everything he wanted to say spilled out.

“They also said other things,” he continued, giving Nanami’s shoulder a light squeeze. “They called you a DILF.”

“A DILF? What’s that?” Nanami cringed. “Or do I even want to know?”

Satoru tapped his chin to feign thinking. “Hm, I think you do. To, you know, decide the right punishment.” He leaned forward so that he was mere centimeters away from Nanami’s ear before whispering, “Daddy I’d like to fuck.”

He leaned back quickly as if Nanami would strike him, putting his hands up as he laughed. “Crazy, right?”

However, Nanami was silent. He was a statue, his eyes solidly on the floor in front of him. He was so still that Satoru looked to the remote to see if it was a curse that had somehow paused the sorcerer.

“I mean, you’re not even that much older than them, and they’re calling you daddy,” Satoru continued amidst the awkward and unnerving silence. “Daddy. Funny, isn’t it?”

Nanami showed no emotion. Instead, he shot to his feet and turned off the TV. “I think you should go home.”

No. NO. Satoru couldn’t believe what he was seeing. A harmless joke turned into him getting kicked out of Nanami’s apartment. He never thought Nanami would actually kick him out, especially in such a callous way. He floundered for any way to fix the situation, coming up short. Nanami didn’t stick around to wait for Satoru to leave, instead walking away to his bedroom.

There was only one thing Satoru could think of that could stop Nanami in his tracks. It had been the reason why he so callously left, but desperation grew like a mold in Satoru’s chest, leaving him unable to breathe or move until he got what he wanted from Nanami: attention. Validation. Anything that wasn’t him walking to his bedroom, alone.

“Daddy, wait!”

Nanami came to a halt halfway through a step, stuttering forward like an unoiled machine. His back was wide and on full display in that T-shirt, and even underneath it, Satoru could see how tightly he was holding his shoulders, his muscles prominent. He had succeeded in getting Nanami to stop: but why? And now what?

However, that question was quickly answered when Nanami turned slightly, and those sweatpants Satoru had been so in love with gave away exactly what had Nanami rushing away so rapidly. His hand was covering most of it, but the grayness put on full display the prominent shadow of Nanami’s erection. Satoru found himself gawking at it for much too long, and when Nanami cleared his throat, his eyes flickered up to the blond’s face emblazoned with a blush whose color rivaled a tomato.

Oh. So it was true. Nanami did have a daddy kink.

The realization, when it finally hit, felt like a semi-truck had run over him. He had already been recovering from Nanami clarifying that he wasn’t a virgin (who had he had sex with? Who?), but the reveal that a kink that was largely said as a joke was true…it was enough to leave Satoru breathless.

“I really think you should leave,” Nanami mumbled, turning his back to Satoru again as he began to walk toward his room. “I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”

Nanami embarrassing himself was unthinkable. The display had been the opposite of embarrassing: it was incredibly arousing. Then again, everything about Nanami was arousing to Satoru. It was time for Satoru to embarrass himself.

He stood up, nearly passing out from the lack of oxygen in his brain. He hadn’t been breathing properly, and all of the blood in his body had been diverted to his groin. None of his bodily functions were working properly, except for his dick. And all of his best decisions were made when controlled by his dick.

“You haven’t embarrassed yourself, Nanamin,” he said, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I…I’ve been looking for a way to get you like this for so long. To…be excited. So, it’s okay, daddy.”

He leveled his gaze at Nanami before sliding off his blindfold so that he could see just how serious he was about the situation. His eyelids were heavy with lust as he slowly approached Nanami, his footsteps the only sound in the apartment for several moments. He stopped only a meter away from the sorcerer, sweeping a hand through his hair. “You’ve done the opposite of embarrassing yourself.”

Nanami’s eyes dropped from Satoru’s face down to the sliver of skin revealed as he lifted his arm to his hair. He exhaled shakily before glancing off to the side as any sort of eye contact with Satoru proved too difficult. “You’ve been looking for a way to get me aroused?” Nanami shook his head and scoffed. “I thought you were joking this whole time.”

“What?” Satoru couldn’t believe his ears. He was so shocked that he dropped the sex kitten act, outraged at Nanami’s thick-headedness. “Nanami, how many times did I explicitly ask you on a date? Told you I wanted to spend time with you, kiss you even? What is wrong with you?”

Nanami’s eyes were owlish at Satoru’s exclamations, his mouth agape but with nothing coming out of it. He was rendered silent, watching as Satoru caught his breath from his impromptu bout of shouting. Finally, he swallowed and shook his head. “I thought you were kidding all these years…that you didn’t actually like me…that’s why I never reciprocated. Because if I did, you’d be disgusted that I took you seriously.”

“Like you? Nanami, I’m in love with you.”

The admission caught both Satoru and Nanami off guard. Satoru clapped a hand over his mouth, and Nanami dropped the hand covering his erection. He covered his mouth so that both men were mirroring each other in their surprise. The only thing that got either man to move was when Nanami saw Satoru’s eyes drop to his crotch, which was still tented in his sweatpants and fully visible.

“In love, you say?” Nanami said, his voice dropping several octaves. “What does Satoru in love look like?”

Nanami may as well have been purring in Satoru’s ear with how gravelly his voice had grown. Satoru’s eyes grew dazed with desire, unable to focus on anything except the blond man right in front of him. This was happening. Nanami had reciprocated his feelings, feelings he’d supposedly had for years. That was the downside to being a responsible, stable man: Nanami would never put a relationship on the line because he had romantic feelings, unlike Satoru. If he had, they would’ve been together much earlier. So, they simply had to make up for lost time.

“It looks like this.”

Satoru was on Nanami in a flash, Nanami barely able to blink before he felt a pair of soft, warm lips on his. His hands raised in the air in surprise, but when he sensed Satoru’s arms draping over his shoulders, his fingertips slightly scraping his back, he brought his hands down and ghosted them over Satoru’s hips.

“You can touch me, Nanamin,” Satoru mumbled against his lips before diving back into their ever-deepening kiss.

Nanami found himself clutching Satoru’s hips out of surprise when he felt Satoru’s tongue licking his bottom lip for unspoken permission to enter. Once he gained his bearings, he granted permission by invading Satoru’s mouth first, earning a delicious gasp and moan from him. He found his confidence and massaged his thumbs into Satoru’s hips bones, bringing him closer until their chests were pressed against each other.

“I can feel you,” Satoru said, grinding his crotch against Nanami’s and licking his lips at the deep groan that vibrated in the blond’s throat. He could clearly feel the outline of Nanami’s erection against his thigh, and it only made him that much more dizzyingly aroused. There was nothing that could get him off his high now, except for an earth-shatteringly good orgasm.

He lowered his hand to Nanami’s erection, brushing his knuckles over it before grasping it gently with his full palm.

“A-ah, Gojo-san…” he sighed, his fingertips sinking into the tenderness of Satoru’s hips. “That feels—”

“Good?” Satoru whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of Nanami’s lips. “I want you to feel good, daddy.”

“Jesus,” Nanami exhaled harshly, his hands raising to grip Satoru’s shoulders. “I never thought that would get me this way. But of course, it’s only with you. You always make me this way.”

Only when Nanami’s words echoed in Satoru’s mind did he understand the implications of what he had said. Always. Had he accidentally turned Nanami on some other time? Did Nanami think about him sexually? Did he dream about him? The mere thought of Nanami jerking off to him was enough to have him dropping to his knees, face-to-face with the giant tent in those sweatpants that doubled as lingerie with how sexual they were.

“Gojo-san, wait,” Nanami said, his voice laced with panic. His hands wavered in the air much as they did when Satoru first kissed him before settling one of them on Satoru’s head, his fingers tangling in his hair. “You…you don’t have to do this.”

Satoru almost laughed at the suggestion that he was doing this for Nanami. No, he had dreamed about having that giant cock in his mouth ever since the first time he had seen Nanami’s transformation. After bidding goodbye to him that day, he went home and masturbated furiously at the faraway dream that he be able to fuck Nanami—or rather, get Nanami to fuck him so beautifully that he’d never be able to be satisfied without him. Who could have predicted that that faraway dream would be right in front of him one day?

“I want to,” Satoru said. He’d never been more truthful than in that moment.

He traced the top of the sweatpants’ waistband, glancing up at Nanami for permission. When all Nanami could do was grip Satoru’s hair tighter and stare at him expectantly, Satoru didn’t waste any more time. He took both hands and carefully pulled down the sweatpants, but they hitched on Nanami’s erection with how pronounced it was. The visual left Satoru salivating in anticipation, and when he finally was able to pull the sweatpants over his erection, his breath hitched in his throat when he saw that Nanami didn’t have any underwear on.

“Do you always go commando?” Satoru asked, causing Nanami to cover his face with the hand that wasn’t buried in Satoru’s hair. “Or were you expecting me?”

“When I sleep, yes,” Nanami replied, his voice muffled by his hand. Satoru thought it endearing that he could see the blush trickling down his neck to his shoulders, even blotching the top of his chest peeking out from his shirt. Everything about Nanami was delicious to look at.

“Easier for me,” Satoru said before turning his attention to the very thing he’d been daydreaming about for years.

He gripped the base of it with a hand, but it was so large that it made it look no smaller. It left Satoru somewhat intimidated—if he could barely fit it in his mouth, how would it go inside him? Regardless, it’d have to work. He wasn’t going to be leaving himself or Nanami with blue balls. He would be draining them, hopefully multiple times.

Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, he gave the head an experimental lick. Nanami groaned at that simple touch, and Satoru peered up at him as he got used to the salty taste of precome on his tongue. His Adam’s apple was prominent in his throat as his head lolled backward, the sight pushing Satoru forward to do more. He needed Nanami lost in pleasure, getting so drunk on sex with him that he wouldn’t regret a second of it when they were done.

He stuck out his tongue and took Nanami’s cock in one fell swoop, getting about halfway down before his gag reflex kicked in. He squeezed his thumb in his fist to abate it, breathing in deeply before continuing his journey down Nanami’s cock. Just when he felt like his dinner was about to come up, his nose nuzzled into Nanami’s neatly trimmed pubic hair, and he stayed there for a moment, enjoying the fullness in his throat and the tightness of Nanami’s grip on his hair, his scalp burning, before drawing away and coughing to the side. He inhaled sharply as he jerked Nanami off with all the new saliva coating his cock, leading to lasciviously wet sounds echoing alongside Nanami’s sinful groans.

“You’re incredible,” Nanami murmured, his hand trailing to Satoru’s chin and tipping it up.

He wiped away a trail of spit before his thumb rested on Satoru’s bottom lip, swiping alongside it. His eyes twinkled with fascination when Satoru opened it obediently, those eyes of diamonds settling on him with such a heated gaze, it had his cock twitching. Experimentally, he pushed his thumb into Satoru’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue with curiosity. He sucked in a sharp breath when Satoru’s tongue enveloped his thumb and gave it a warm welcome, bringing his lips around it and sucking on it dutifully.

“Did you learn this somewhere?” Nanami asked, although he quickly found that he didn’t want to know the answer.

“No,” Satoru replied, leaving Nanami at ease. “You made me this way, daddy.”

“Oh, you little minx,” Nanami said, but he couldn’t hide the groan or weakness in his knees when Satoru returned to giving his cock the royal treatment.

Satoru polished the cock as if it were his last meal, making sure no part was left unattended. A string of saliva hung from his chin as he bobbed his head back and forth, stroking the parts he couldn’t reach—which with the size of Nanami’s cock, were significant. He groaned with each tug Nanami gave his hair, his voice vibrating around the cock, which then had Nanami groaning and tugging more in response. It was a brutal pleasure loop that had Nanami slightly bucking his hips forward into the warm hole surrounding his cock, much to Satoru’s delight.

Satoru popped off Nanami’s cock, keeping it warm with both of his hands as he stared up at Nanami. “You can fuck my mouth, you know,” he said, opening his mouth to reveal his perfectly pink tongue and inviting throat. “Don’t be scared, daddy.”

Each time Satoru used the pet name, it sent rivulets of electricity down Nanami’s spine. He didn’t know when he first developed this kink—all he knew was that he found himself clicking on a gay porn video with a man whose body looked just like Satoru, and he called out ‘daddy’ over and over to the hunk of a man fucking him into the mattress. Ever since then, he searched high and low for videos of men crying out ‘daddy,’ men who all resembled Satoru in one way or another.

The second he heard Satoru use it for the first time only twenty minutes ago, he thought he was hallucinating. He thought that somehow the beer he drank was poisoned or laced with magic mushrooms, anything that would make more sense than Satoru Gojo calling him daddy. But then he said it again, and again. And again.

And now that Satoru was on his knees, sucking his cock so prettily with those flushed cheeks on pale skin and cherry-red lips stretched around his girth, calling him daddy in that wonderfully low, hoarse voice, it took everything inside Nanami not to pull out his phone and record. This was infinitely better than any video he had watched previously. No, there was no competition. He would never watch another porno again now that he had Satoru in the palm of his hand.

Or rather, on his cock.

“You asked for it,” he said, a deep growl in his throat as he fortified his grip on Satoru’s hair and slowly drove his hips further into his mouth. “S-shit…”

Satoru moaned around Nanami’s cock again at the sound of Nanami cursing, something he hardly did. But he was making him feel so good that he couldn’t help but let a curse slip. It was invigorating.

Nanami soon picked up speed, bucking his hips forward into Satoru’s mouth and down his throat. He felt himself falling into pleasure-fueled hysteria, no longer able to control his hips as he thrust into his mouth with full force, feeling Satoru’s nose bump against his lower stomach each time. The wet squelching sounds coming from Satoru’s throat were downright salacious, and his face and Nanami’s cock were a mess of precome and spit. Satoru raised trembling hands before setting them on Nanami’s thighs, sinking his fingertips into his quads and leaving behind crescent-shaped tattoos.

“F-fuck, I’m close, Satoru,” Nanami gasped, throwing his head back as he continued using Satoru’s head like a fleshlight. “Let me just pull ou—”

Hearing his name in Nanami’s mouth made Satoru go as crazy as Nanami did over being called daddy. He wanted nothing less than for Nanami to leave his mouth empty. His throat was rubbed raw, and he’d been fighting his gag reflex with every fiber of his being, but the pain hardly compared to the orgasmic pleasure he was feeling in his groin. So, he moved his hands to Nanami’s ass and pushed him forward so he had no choice but to stay inside Satoru’s mouth.

“S-Satoru—! If you do that, I’m going to…ngh…coming!”

Satoru’s eyes rolled up into his head as the combination of his scalp burning from Nanami’s tight hold on his hair and the semen pouring down his throat hit him. He was finally tasting Nanami’s semen, and while it certainly wasn’t creme brûlée, it was everything he had dreamed about and more. Satoru was certainly a playboy before he got attached to Nanami, but Nanami had thoroughly turned him into a downright whore.

After gulping down what felt like multiple loads of semen, Satoru slowly slid off Nanami’s cock with a pop and wiped away the mess of come and spit mixing on his chin and down his neck. His eyes were bloodshot, his eyelashes glued together from tears that streamed down his cheeks. The more Nanami gazed down at him, the more he felt himself grow harder again despite orgasming only a minute ago.

He reached down and wiped a stray tear away from Satoru’s cheek before bringing it up to his mouth and licking it.

“How many people have you practiced that with?” he asked, although he didn’t want to know the real answer. Satoru knew to play along, and he loved that about him.

“Nobody, daddy,” Satoru said, rising to his feet and pressing his chest against Nanami’s. “I promise.”

“You—fuck.” Nanami couldn’t help the breathless curse that left his lips. He gave Satoru a once-over, taking in his cotton sweater and black slacks, before grabbing him by the neck and tossing him onto the sofa. He loved looking at Satoru clothed, but at that moment, he needed him naked, and fast. “You showered before this, right?”

“Yes…” Satoru trailed off as he watched with poorly concealed excitement as Nanami undid his jeans and ripped them off in one fell swoop, leaving him in his special briefs. They bordered on women’s underwear with how small they were, but they were white cotton, still having that masculine edge while poorly hiding his weeping erection. He had nearly orgasmed just from having Nanami’s cock stretching his throat, and the evidence was plain as day looking at his briefs.

“I…I also prepped,” Satoru said sheepishly, his hand trailing between his legs. “You don’t have to do anything. You can just…fuck me.”

He pressed a finger to his hole, still clothed by his briefs. He stifled a gasp, remembering how thoroughly he fingered himself in the shower before walking over to Nanami’s. He knew Nanami had a big cock, just by the virtue of his being—but seeing it in person was something else. Insecurity sunk in as he realized he may not have been as prepped as needed.

Luckily, Nanami didn’t think Satoru prepping himself was enough. He needed to take it upon himself to pleasure his partner back, the partner he had yearned after for so long and who was now indulging in his most embarrassing kink.

“Come here,” Nanami commanded, grabbing Satoru’s hips and pulling him down. He then raised Satoru’s hips up into the air so that his ass was flush with his face. He licked a line from Satoru’s clothed cock down to his ass, pressing his tongue into the fabric until he could feel the throbbing hole lying past that thin barrier.

“A-ah, daddy, wait! That feels—hah…”

“Good?” Nanami asked, echoing Satoru’s previous purr. “So you knew that we’d be doing this tonight. Did you come over fully intending on seducing me?”

Satoru covered his face with a forearm, but his blush radiated past that. “Yeah, I did. Does that make you…disgusted?”

“Disgusted?” Nanami sounded appalled just at the thought of being disgusted that the man he’d been in love with for so long had wanted to have sex with him so badly he prepped himself before forcing himself into his coworker’s apartment, prepared to put his feelings on the table and their relationship on the line. Luckily for Nanami, Satoru was a bold motherfucker.

“It makes me want to eat you up,” he finished before pulling the briefs aside and diving into Satoru’s heat. He kissed a trail from Satoru’s balls down his perineum and finally, while listening to the symphony that was Satoru’s moans, licked the hole he’d be using and abusing very, very soon.

“Yes, yes! Fuck, that feels so…ngh, good…” Satoru couldn’t help embarrassing himself over and over, and Nanami’s neighbors would certainly hate him after that night. But he had dreamed about this moment for so long that he couldn’t help being overdramatic, couldn’t help wanting to let Nanami know how truly grateful and excited he was to have his coworker eating him out.

Nanami licked and sucked, trailing a hand to Satoru’s cock to stroke him there, too. He pressed a thumb into the head of his cock as he slid his tongue inside him, driving Satoru wild. He watched from his peripheral vision as one of Satoru’s hands gripped the bedsheets while the other came to rest on Nanami’s head, gripping his hair in much the same way as Nanami did with him.

“I’m close, daddy, I’m close,” Satoru breathed, his eyes fluttering closed to process his pleasure. However, he didn’t want the night to end like this. He opened an eye and peered around his hips in the air to see Nanami’s cock standing at attention as if he hadn’t just orgasmed a few minutes ago. After all the excitement that night, Satoru wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep going after one orgasm—and he wasn’t about to leave Nanami unattended.

“Daddy, fuck me. Fuck me, please. Now.” He wasn’t pleading anymore. He was demanding.

Nanami lifted his head from between Satoru’s legs, savoring the heat of his now-lover’s thighs pressed against his ears. He turned his head and sunk his teeth into the soft inner flesh of Satoru’s thigh, eliciting a yelp from the other as Nanami licked around the bite to seal the deal.

“Are you sure?” he murmured against Satoru’s thigh while gazing at him. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back.”

Satoru reached down to his discarded pants on the floor and rifled through one of the pockets, bringing out a condom. Or, what looked like just one condom, before he let the entire roll of about six condoms drop down.

He smirked as he watched Nanami’s face fall. “I’m hoping you don’t.”

He winked as he tossed the stack to Nanami, who set down Satoru’s hips in favor of ripping a single condom packet away from the stack. An entire stack; Satoru couldn’t be serious. But as Nanami swung his gaze back over to the sorcerer, he realized that his playboy label was still true—his sights were set solely on Nanami at that moment. He was insatiable, as evidenced by him spreading his pretty, slender legs dusted with pink blush and a deep bite mark, knowing full well what that would unlock inside Nanami.

“You’re a drug, Satoru Gojo,” Nanami mumbled. “Not only prepping yourself, but keeping an entire roll of condoms…you are one conniving bastard.”

Saying his senior’s full name without honorifics and calling him names were still strange to him. But when he saw how Satoru’s cock twitched after what he said, he realized just how much of a turn-on either saying his name or being called names could be. Perfect.

“Then come have me,” Satoru said, holding out his arms as he watched Nanami tear a condom wrapper and slide it onto his cock. “However many times you like.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Nanami said, guiding his cock to Satoru’s entrance and pressing the head to the rim. Just that small touch had both men breathless, their chests rising and falling erratically to compensate.

“I love games,” was all that Satoru could reply with before Nanami pushed inside. The next thing that came out of Satoru’s mouth was a whiny moan, his trembling legs crossing behind Nanami’s back and pushing him even further inside him.

“Gojo-sa—nn…you’re tight,” Nanami breathed, his arms faltering in their hold on the couch. He nearly collapsed on top of Satoru but managed to keep himself up, one of his arms gripping one of the couch pillows while the other drifted to Satoru's thigh. He ran his fingers up and down that trembling thigh, raking his fingertips until they created light red trails on his pallid skin.

“F-feels…feels so good, daddy,” Satoru said, his voice hitching in his throat with how much every synapse in his body was on fire. It hurt, the stretching sensation from Nanami’s large cock making Satoru bite his lip. But the sheer pleasure he felt from finally being connected to Nanami, to know how his most intimate region felt inside him, to know the face Nanami made when he orgasmed…the pain was secondary. “More…harder, please.”

Nanami wanted to do more. God, how he wanted to fuck Satoru senseless until he could no longer speak and anything that came out of his mouth were whimpers. But he wanted to admire his lover first, wanted to take in his first time with the man he’d been in love with for years.

He slowly trailed his hands underneath Satoru’s sweater, pushing it up so that those pretty pink nipples he’d seen whenever they’d change in gym class or go to onsens together and had dreamed about. With a final push that fully buried his cock inside Satoru, he leaned over and took one of Satoru’s nipples between his teeth. His ears pricked at the sound of Satoru’s sweet gasp, and he dove in for more, sucking on the entire nipple while rolling the other between his fingers.

“There is…too much…” Satoru couldn’t object even if he tried. The stretching of his hole, the tickling sensation of his nipples sending ripples throughout his body, Nanami’s heat draped over him, everything amassed into a wave that crested and crashed over Satoru when Nanami bit his nipple again. “Too much! C-com—”

Satoru barely finished his sentence before semen spurted from his cock and painted his stomach white. His walls clamped down completely onto Nanami’s cock, causing him to groan and leaving any sort of movement impossible. Not that he wanted to move anyway—he wanted nothing more than to watch Satoru in the throes of an orgasm so powerful, his entire body went still before breaking out into shakes. His back arched off the bed and his legs squeezed Nanami’s waist so hard, he’d surely have bruises the next day.

Everything about Satoru was delectable. The more Nanami looked, the more he saw Satoru’s body as sweet: his nipples were strawberry-pink, his hole cherry-red, his skin milk-white.

“Are you alright, Gojo-san?” he asked sincerely once Satoru seemed to calm down, his chest rising and falling desperately to compensate for the lack of oxygen to his brain. He splayed a hand over Satoru’s chest, but the poor man was so oversensitive that he flinched away at the feather-like touch.

“F-fuck,” he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he flung a forearm over his face. “That was…fuck.”

“You orgasmed after I barely put it in,” Nanami remarked, his eyes falling to Satoru’s nipples. “And after I played with you here for a few seconds.”

His hand came to rest over one of Satoru’s pecs, his fingers bumping against the abused nipple and making Satoru squirm underneath him. His eyes flickered back to Satoru’s face with an uncharacteristic smirk.

“You’re in for a long night, Satoru.”

Without another warning, he pulled out, leaving Satoru breathless, before slamming inside him, digging his fingers into Satoru’s waist.

“Fuck! Ah, daddy—it’s too much…” Satoru cried, his arms flailing in the air before coming to rest on Nanami’s shoulders.

Nanami leaned in slightly to make it easier for Satoru to hold onto him. “I thought you wanted more.”

Satoru pouted silently and turned his face away, but his pouting only lasted for a few seconds before Nanami thrust into him brutally again, enough for the wind to be knocked out of him. Except this time, Nanami gave him no breathing room, instead striking up a rhythm that had Satoru gasping for air with each thrust.

“Oh—ngh! Yes, yes, more…daddy…!” The new pet name settled over each man like an aphrodisiac, leaving Satoru hard again and Nanami throbbing inside his lover.

The combination of Satoru’s walls hugging him as if they never wanted to let go, Satoru’s moans, and Satoru’s beautiful expressions were enough to have Nanami fighting the crest of an orgasm from crashing over him. His rhythm gave him enough pleasure to leave his entire body buzzing, but it was punishing and left him racing to the finish. He was fucking into Satoru hard and fast, each thrust sending the couch a few centimeters to the right, the legs scraping against the floor. His fingers were already leaving bruises on Satoru’s svelte waist, and his thighs were littered with marks.

In the few seconds Nanami had left before he succumbed to orgasm, he leaned over and sunk his teeth into the tender flesh of Satoru’s neck, savoring the small cry Satoru let out. A shiver rattled each of Nanami’s vertebrae at the sensation of Satoru raking his fingernails down his back desperately as if he was hanging on for dear life. After releasing the bite and licking it as a silent apology, he turned his attention to Satoru’s ear, licking the shell of it and drawing out another weepy cry from his lover.

“I love you, too, Satoru,” he whispered and smiled to himself when those three words seemed to lead to Satoru’s second orgasm of the night.

But Satoru wasn’t orgasming alone. Nanami was right behind him, his hand shooting out to grip the couch’s arm for support as he slammed into Satoru once, twice, before filling the condom to the brim. He let out a shaky groan, his eyes squeezing shut tightly enough for white stars to break out in his vision.

“I feel it…I feel you,” Satoru whispered, his fingers releasing their hold on Nanami’s back and replacing it with a feather-like touch as he traced shapes into his skin. “Inside me. When was the last time you…”

Satoru swallowed thickly, thoroughly exhausted after his orgasms—the second of which ended up being completely dry. Nanami made him feel so good that his body couldn’t even keep up with semen production to go along with his orgasms. It made Satoru’s eyes drift to the roll of condoms and wonder how many more Nanami could fill up.

“A long, long time,” Nanami replied, slowly opening his eyes after what felt like eons.

His vision was bright at first before adjusting to the living room light. Once his eyes adjusted, he lowered them to his lover and was met with Satoru’s magnificent eyes staring up at him expectantly. He hadn’t masturbated in a few weeks at least, having been too busy with work, curses, and teaching to sit down and watch porn. Besides, he’d exhausted his specific niche of Satoru-lookalikes crying out daddy, and he couldn’t get off to any other video. Satoru had captured not only Nanami’s heart but also his attention. Nobody else was comparable to his Satoru Gojo.

“Well,” Satoru said, his hand moving to the back of Nanami’s neck to bring him down for a kiss. After a shallow kiss, he rested his forehead against Nanami’s and smiled. “Prepare to do it again. And again.”

Nanami’s eyes shifted to the condoms. “Now?”

Satoru licked his lips. “Now, daddy.”

Nanami asked no more questions after that.

[shaunamilfman]

the ghost you dressed up as [8]

pairing: Jackie Taylor x Shauna Shipman x r summary: Continues off where seven ends. Just smut really. note: last chapter, and the smut you've been waitinggg for masterlist

“This is sick, even for you,” You comment idly, tone far too casual for the accusation. Still, you don’t bother to move your hand from where it cups the side of her face, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin against your hand.

It shouldn’t surprise you how quickly she switches between predator and lover. Really, if you think about it you wonder if there is even a difference for her. Isn’t the violence just foreplay?

Shauna gives you that infuriating grin, utterly unashamed as she leans back against the car door. Her messy hair and swollen lips paint a clear picture of what has her breathing hard, both of which have nothing to do with the murders you’ve just committed. There’s blood smeared across her cheek, but you’ve come to expect it at this point.

You’ve had to bat her hands away more than once, refusing to let those still-bloody fingers find their way to your skin. Her eyes are focused on yours, something dark and amused present as she just watches. It makes something in your stomach twist in a way you wish it wouldn’t. There’s such a thrill in it, and you can’t find it in yourself to deny it.

She revels in the bloodshed she causes, even more so in the way you're still standing by her side afterward like you might just kiss her again. You can still picture the way Jeff had looked as he bled out beneath you, those dumb, trusting eyes wide with a mix of fear and betrayal. He hasn't even had time to scream–just a few gasping breaths as he went down. He’d hit the ground so hard you almost feared he’d somehow fall through the floor, but Shauna was quickly there to urge you on.

The body was still warm when you left; Jeff barely finished bleeding out. But that’s not what unsettles you. It’s her. Always her.

“You liked it,” Shauna says, sounding excited at the very thought of it. 

Her head turns just slightly to the side, studying you with a look far too intimate for the situation. It’s like she can see everything, all the way down to the bone. Dissecting you with just her eyes. You shift uncomfortably, feeling stripped of all of your pretenses.

It’s that knowing edge to her smile that makes you want to wrap your hands around her throat, if only to keep her from speaking. It wouldn't be hard. You know how much pressure you'd need to apply and how long you'd need to squeeze until she just stopped being a problem. Stop being a thing that threatens to unravel you. 

You hate when she hints at things you don’t want to admit.

Shauna smiles again, like she can tell what you're thinking. Some part of her would welcome it at first, you know. She'd love the fight, the raw intensity of it. The way she'd gasp for air as your fingers tightened, and tightened. She wouldn't give in immediately, not Shauna. She'd claw at your hands, punch at anything she could reach. Until you didn't let go. Until you just keep holding on and the panic sets in. Even then, some part of her would still want it–would crave the moment she couldn't fight back anymore. 

Don't you just want to give it to her? 

Your fingers twitch with the urge, hands up to her shoulders before you even realize what you're doing. You press her back into the car, pulling her head back with a handful of her hair. She gasps as her head arches back, eyes wide with delight. 

“You like this, too,” She whispers, glancing down at your lips. Not a taunt, just the truth. “Don't you hide from me.”

Her head tilts back, neck exposed, showing off the mark you'd sucked into her skin last night. 

“Did you like it, Shauna?” You say finally, a thumb on Shauna's chin as you turn her head to the other side. Leaning down to mouth at the empty side of her neck, you add, “Knowing I killed Jeff?”

Shauna's breath catches in her throat, her fingers tightening around the shoulders of your shirt. She pulls you closer, like the mere mention of the memory excites her again. The answer is obvious: in the way her body arches, in the sounds she makes, the gleam in her eyes showing everything but remorse. She wants it. She loves it. 

Just like you. 

You wrinkle your nose in distaste as Shauna grabs at the side of your face, leaving bloody smears across your skin. It's warm, sticky, a constant reminder of what the three of you had done tonight. But the look in her eyes–wild, dark, the lingering thirst for violence–makes all of it worth it. Her grip is firm as she lowers you down to your knees, unrelenting in her desire to have you. 

“You showed up to a murder wearing a dress?” You ask, the corners of your lips twitching into something of a smile as you work her panties down her legs. 

Shauna rolls her eyes, propping her knee over your shoulder as she grabs a handful of your hair. “Jackie likes it,” She says simply, like that explains everything. It does, in a way. Jackie likes it, so Shauna wore it. You know what it's like to bend to Jackie's whims, happily doing things you'd never normally do just for a glimpse of that pleased smile. Shauna's no different: both of you marching to the beat of Jackie Taylor's drum. 

You laugh under your breath as you follow Shauna's insistent tugging up her thighs, leaving as many marks on her skin as her impatience allows. Her breath hitches, her body reacting to your advances even as she's still urging you higher. 

Shauna's leg tenses around your shoulder, her thigh rubbing against the remnants of blood on your face and smearing across the inside of her thigh. As she digs the heel of her shoe into your back, you finally close the distance as you bury your face between her thighs. She lets out a quiet noise as your tongue makes first contact with her wetness, bucking into your face until your hands firmly pin her hips back against the cold metal of the car door. 

The hem of her dress bunches around your shoulders, brushing teasingly against the back of your neck as you mouth at her cunt. 

“Hate that you're so good at that,” Shauna grumbles as your tongue flicks at her clit, as much of an encouragement as it was a reproach. The way her thighs tremble gives her away regardless, nails digging into your scalp as she loses herself in her pleasure.

Shauna's hand pries the fingers from one hand away from her thigh, bending your pinky back until you yelp and let go before she leads it pointedly up to the hem of her dress. You wish you could see the way she's looking at you, knowing how intense her eyes must look. 

“How many?” You ask breathily, pulling away just long enough to speak, lips brushing against her skin. 

“Three.” 

“Three?”

“Three,” She insists impatiently, tugging at your hair in reproach. You're nothing if not obedient in this, and only this, brushing three fingers against her skin before pressing into her. 

Shauna cries out, the sound mixing together with the lewd sound of her wetness. It cuts off into a whimper as she bites at her hand, regrettably cutting off those wonderful noises as her teeth sink into her knuckles. 

You take her back into your mouth, the taste of her drawing you right back in as you relentlessly circle her clit. You gave it to her hard, furiously, almost punishing–just the way she likes, as she still revels in the violence she's caused. There's something so terribly hot when she gets like this, desperate to hurt and be hurt. 

She responds just as violently, hips bucking as you struggle to keep her up. You can feel her slick heat against your chin with every roll of her hips; you can hear the car window rattling behind her. Shauna gasps loudly, the sound traveling even from around her knuckles as she teeters on the edge. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Shauna whimpers, trying to draw you closer with her leg as she squeezes it around your shoulder. You're supporting almost all of her weight by this point. If you weren't here to hold her up, you're sure she'd be a puddle on the floor. 

Shauna slams her hand against the car door as she comes, over and over, as the door rattles beneath the force of it. She's dented it at this point, there's no doubt in your mind, but poor Kevin Car-nold has seen more than its fair share of dents at this point. She gets so violent when she comes like this, like the sheer force of it is too much for her to handle. If she can't sink her teeth into your shoulder, then whatever’s close enough to her fist is going to take the brunt of her release. 

She just can't stop herself. 

Her thighs are trembling, almost sitting on your shoulders as she leans heavily back against the door. You can hear her ragged breaths even from your knees, wondering what she must look like as you're still hidden beneath her dress. 

You jerk away at the sound of crunching leaves, nearly taking Shauna down to the ground as she stumbles forward with her leg still over your shoulder. 

“You guys started without me?” Jackie asks, sounding utterly betrayed, cellphone and mask still in hand. You groan against Shauna's thigh, who pats your head sympathetically. 

… 

You laugh breathlessly against Jackie's jaw, the sound muffled against her skin as she lets out a frustrated whine into Shauna's mouth. She squirms in your lap, straining against your arm around her hips as she tries to chase after Shauna as she pulls away. The way Jackie shudders when she’s denied what she wants yet again is enough to make you smile, enjoying her little sounds of discontent more than you thought you would.

You soothe the ache Shauna’s retreat causes as you nip at a patch of skin just under her jaw, teeth running across already bruised skin. Jackie turns on you almost immediately to tear your mouth away from her skin, tightening the grip she’s already had on your hair as she tugs you toward her. Her lips crash into yours, messy and frantic, as she tries to pull you impossibly closer. She’s almost shaking as she presses into you, all gasps and sighs and bitten lips.

Jackie was growing desperate as you and Shauna passed her back and forth–playing with her–each kiss ending just as she got into it before the other would pull her away. She always complains, but you both know how much she loves being treated as a prize. Every time she reached for one of you, the other would respond, leaving her practically trembling as she grabbed at you. Her nails dig into your scalp, taking everything you’re offering and still finding more.

Shauna brushes her fingers across Jackie’s back as she finally has to pull away for breath, sweeping her hair over one shoulder before pressing a kiss against it. 

“Look at you,” Shauna murmurs against her skin, a slow, deliberate phrase that makes Jackie shiver.

“Shauna,” Jackie whines breathily, turning to capture her lips only to be evaded again. Shauna laughs at Jackie’s expression, sharing a quick look with you as she jerks her head. 

You maintain eye contact just long enough for Shauna’s eyes to start to narrow, a warning, before you answer her unspoken demand, sitting up and shifting Jackie off your lap to lower her onto the bed. Jackie’s sheer delight at the position–clearly hoping she’s finally getting the attention she’s been angling for all night–is quickly squashed as Shauna leans over her to kiss you instead.

Jackie’s gasp of surprise is swallowed up by the press of Shauna’s lips against yours. Her hands come up to cup the sides of your face with an uncharacteristic gentleness that’s almost entirely for Jackie’s benefit. Jackie’s hands fist in the sheets as she stares up with wide, impatient eyes, her chest heaving with each breath that leaves her.

“Mean,” Jackie mutters, an ever-familiar note of petulance entering her voice. She rolls her eyes as she props herself up to start working at the buttons of her jeans. You pull away from Shauna to watch, your forehead resting against hers as your eyes watch Jackie’s nimble fingers make short work of the button and zipper.

Shauna’s quick to help, reaching for her ankle and nearly pulling Jackie off the bed in her eagerness to deprive her of her jeans. You grab at Jackie’s shoulders to keep her from ending up as a puddle on the ground, a delighted giggle leaving her mouth as she nearly becomes airborne. 

“Careful,” You chide gently with a laugh of your own, glancing at an unrepentant Shauna over your shoulder.

Jackie’s peal of laughter turns into a sigh as your lips press against her collarbone, trailing down her skin as you take full advantage of the way her shirt’s twisted around in the chaos. You reach for the first button of her shirt, lowering your head to her chest as you follow each one with a kiss against her skin.

Each one’s rewarded with a sigh from Jackie as you move down her chest, her body responding eagerly to the attention. She grabs at your shoulder as you pause to give the sliver of her breast that peeks out of her bra attention, an impatient noise leaving her mouth even as her back arches up against your mouth.

“Greedy,” Shauna comments idly, settling up at Jackie’s hip to get a better view. “You already rushed us through killing–”

“Never mention a boy when–” Jackie starts, only to gasp as you mouth at her chest through the thin fabric of her bra, the words getting stuck in her throat. “When I’m half-dressed ever again. Actually, just don’t in general.”

You can’t help but laugh against the curve of her breast, grinning with delight as Jackie pointedly digs her nails into your shoulder in reproach. She squeals as your cold hands slip beneath the side of her shirt, trailing across her back as you tug at the clasp of her bra. She’s squirming too much from the brush of your fingers for the move to be as smooth as you imagined when you started, but her bra gives way nonetheless, freeing her chest for your attention.

Jackie’s hands find their way back into your hair as she gives herself over to your attention. She’s firmer this time, more insistent, tugging you along as she leads you where she wants you. There’s no need for words to be spoken. The way her nails scrape against your scalp as she moves you lower still says more than words ever could. 

Her breathing gets heavier as you finish off the last few buttons of her shirt, looking down at you with blown pupils as you rest your chin against the tops of her thighs. You grin up at her, making sure she’s looking before you hook your fingers in the waistband of her panties. She lifts her hips off the bed, just as eager to get them off as you are to take them. You pull away just long enough to toss them in the direction of her jeans, but it was long enough for Shauna to strike: her hand already slipping into the place you’ve just vacated, palming Jackie with deliberate pressure.

Jackie gasps, hips jerking into her hand as she braces a foot against the mattress. Her head falls back against the sheets, lips parted as her eyes slip shut. You watch with a mixture of amusement–leave it to Shauna to let you do all the work and sweep in to take the credit–and arousal as Shauna’s fingers work their magic. There’s something undeniably hot about watching her when she’s like this. 

She’s slow, almost teasing as she drags out reactions from Jackie.

You can tell the moment she’s finally slipped her fingers inside, watching as Jackie grabs at Shauna’s arm with a noise that’s just on the verge of being pained. Shauna seems to love giving Jackie just a little too much too quickly, watching with something achingly familiar to the look she gives her victims as Jackie writhes in response. Jackie never complains, clearly just as content to take it.

Rising to your feet, you slowly climb up next to her. Jackie’s almost flailing in her effort to reach your hand, tangling your fingers together as she turns her head for a kiss you’re more than happy to give. You relished the sounds she made, even as muffled as they were–the little whimpers as she pleaded with Shauna to continue, the whines torn from her throat when Shauna angled her fingers just right.

Jackie responds immediately, hips lifting to meet the rhythm only to be pinned back down against the bed by two left hands. She writhes in complaint, almost aching to buck into Shauna’s hand as she pushes at your shoulder. You let her push you away, eyes trailing down to watch as Shauna’s fingers move. “Does it feel good, Jackie?”

“Yes, please, yes.” Jackie clings to your shoulders, caught between her pleasure and her constant desire for more. She sounds so pretty when she begs, her voice barely more than a needy whisper. Her hips move as much as they can beneath your hold, yet another plea she doesn’t even bother to voice. You brush a hand lightly through her hair, scratching your nails against her scalp as she trembles beneath you.

“Always so eager, isn’t she?” You ask almost conversationally as you look at Shauna. Shauna smirks, glancing down at the desperate look on Jackie’s face. She leans down to whisper something in Jackie’s ear, low and teasing, something meant only for her, but the way Jackie’s body jerks tells you it was filthy.

“She just can’t help herself,” Shauna agrees, earning another moan from Jackie as she lazily grinds her palm down against Jackie’s clit.

“You’re just so pretty like this, aren’t you?” You ask softly, watching as Jackie shudders at your words. She nods jerkily, too lost in Shauna to even form words. Jackie lets out a breathless whine as Shauna does something with her hands, legs trembling and toes curling into the sheets but still stubbornly hanging on. Her eyes flutter open, unfocused but clearly so needy.

Jackie likes to hold on when she gets like this, forcing herself to revel in your attention for as long as she can keep it. She got some perverse thrill out of it, in being able to withhold her pleasure till she couldn't stand it anymore. You've never quite understood her reasoning behind it–as if either of you wouldn't come running if she spread her legs. 

“She’s close,” Shauna murmurs, eyes glinting as she watches Jackie closely. She enjoys this almost as Jackie does, enjoying the way Jackie’s body betrays her as she teeters right on the edge.

You lean in, your lips brushing against Jackie’s forehead as you ask, “Please?”

For a moment she resists, body tensing as if to fight against it, but then Shauna’s fingers press just right, and Jackie cries out. Her entire body jerks, hips bucking wildly as the two of you work to keep her pressed against the bed as she falls apart.

She goes slack beneath you, breath coming out in ragged gasps as the aftershocks tear through her. Jackie slaps away Shauna’s hand as it lingers just long enough to make her twitch, a weak glare on her face at the dark look of amusement Shauna gives her as she retreats. You trail your hand across her flushed skin, fingers ghosting across her hips and down her thighs, enjoying the way her muscles twitch beneath your light touch.

“You never make it easy on yourself,” Shauna comments, her voice low and affectionate as she wipes her wet fingers across Jackie’s stomach. Jackie groans grumpily at the action, eyes flickering down to catch the glistening marks across her skin Shauna’s left in her wake before quickly looking away. She’s just the right amount of embarrassed, her pretty face flushing as she squirms, but still undeniably pleased with herself.

“Come on, Jackie,” You complain teasingly, squeezing her thigh meaningfully. “You’re not done yet, are you? I haven’t even had a turn.”

Her head lolls to the side to look at the two of you, still breathless as she bites at her lip thoughtfully. Finally, she nods, letting you spread her legs again as you take your place between them.

If this is what a few murders gets you, who are you to complain?

[detectivesvu]

Time and Patience

Rafael Barba x Fem! Detective! Reader Tags: Smut (MDI!!!!). M/F Sex. Handjob. Relationship establishment. Part 2 to this fic. Word Count: 5.5k "But I don't know where to go from here."

"Hi." She nearly whispered, heart pounding so hard she could feel it in her throat.

Rafael’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice. His eyes never left her face. He couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked under the soft glow of his desk lamp.

"Hi," He said, his voice equally soft as he gestured for her to come in and join him. There was a moment of silence between them before he spoke again. "I’m glad you could come."

“Yeah...I’m sorry it took so long for me to call you,” She said, entering his office. “I was trying to get through the workday.”

Rafael nodded in understanding, his eyes studying her intently, trying to gauge her mood. He wasn't sure how she was feeling. She was here in person, so he figured she at least didn't hate his guts for what happened.

"No need to apologize," He said gently. "I get it. Work can be demanding."

She gave a small chuckle as she sat in her usual chair in front of his desk. A small grin tugged at Rafael’s lips as her anxious laugh. Sensing her unease, he returned to his desk and sat on the other side, both of them in the same positions they had been in earlier.

Rafael’s eyes never left her. He couldn’t help but notice the nervous energy coming off her in waves. He could tell that she was just as uneasy as he felt, but he also knew that they needed to talk about what had happened, and the sooner the better.

"So…how was the rest of your day?" He asked, his voice soft yet firm.

She hated how awkward this was. It was painfully uneasy...suffocating even. They were never uncomfortable with one another. It wasn't natural for their dynamic. Now she felt like she was going to melt right in front of him.

“It was busy. Carisi and I chased leads for a long time on this case,” She said. “Nothing really turned up, so we’ll start fresh tomorrow.”

Rafael listened intently as she spoke about her busy latter half of the day. He was slightly disappointed that she hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room, but he didn’t want to push her into talking about it before she was ready.

"Sounds tiring," He said, scribbling a note onto one of the case files in front of him. "These cases can be draining."

“Tell me about it,” She sighed, throwing the ball in his court. “How was the rest of your day?”

He nodded with a shrug, not overly interested in talking about what he had been doing since she practically ran out of his office earlier that evening.

"Mine was…eventful," He said, his voice a hint more cautious than usual. There was a moment of silence before he continued. "I’ve been thinking about you…"

She swallowed hard, trying to keep the anxiety from rising in her throat. It seemed that he was getting right down to business. After all, they were always straight shooters with one another.

“I’ve been thinking about you too." She confessed, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

He felt relief knowing she wasn't angry at him or remorseful. After all, he had pushed the whole thing into motion. He hadn't been sure of how she felt about it. The last thing he wanted was her feeling like he had come on too strong.

Hearing her admit that she'd been thinking about him all day sent a jolt through Rafael. It was a small sense of relief knowing that he wasn't the only one who had been consumed by thoughts of her.

"So…we need to talk." He said, knowing it was an understatement.

“Yeah, we do,” She said, unsure of how to start. “Uhm…you go first.”

Rafael took a moment to gather his thoughts, his expression growing serious. He knew they needed to talk about what had happened earlier that day, but he wasn’t sure how to approach it. After a moment, he took a deep breath and started.

"Look, what happened before..." He failed to find the right words, suddenly feeling like he was completely winging this whole thing. "We need to talk about that."

“Right,” She gave a small laugh. “You said that already.”

Rafael couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle too. He knew she was nervous, and he knew he was too. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head as he completely blanked on what to say. The infamous talker Rafael Barba was now speechless.

“Look,” She tried to help him. “I…I don’t really know what to say. But I don’t want what happened to ruin us. I don’t know how it got heated so fast, but…I guess we had a lot of tension explode at once.”

He was taking in her words -- listening to her tone and studying her eyes. He knew her all too well. He knew how to read her, how to know what she was feeling. He knew they were both thinking the same thing -- they didn't want this to ruin their relationship...whatever it may be.

"You’re right," he said quietly, his eyes fixed on hers. "I think it's fair to say we've been...dancing around this for a while."

“I know. I just…didn’t expect it to happen so fast,” She said, her hands fiddling with the edge of her skirt. “You’re my friend first…but we also work together. And I feel like I reacted inappropriately for a work setting.”

What they had done was definitely inappropriate for a work setting...but he hadn't minded it. In fact, he was disappointed they hadn't made it further. He paused for a moment, rotating his pen in his hand before he answered.

"I'm not so innocent either," He reminded her, a sudden shimmer gleaming in his eyes. "But it was...intense, wasn't it?"

She looked at him then, meeting his dark, but playful gaze. She gave a small, almost shy smile.

“It was. And I don't regret it...just if you're wondering..."She shifted in her seat, getting to the meat of the conversation. "But I don't know where to go from here."

His playful expression faded a bit. He knew this had complicated their relationship beyond belief and moving forward was going to be tricky.

"I don't regret it either...but I also don’t know either," He admitted. "I just think it's going to be hard to go back to how things were before. We can't pretend it didn't happen."

“I agree,” She nodded. “I just don’t know what it means for us.”

Rafael looked at her intently, his eyes studying her face as he tried to find the right words to say. He knew what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure how she felt or if she was ready to admit it yet.

"What do you want it to mean for us?" he asked softly, his voice laced with a hint of vulnerability.

Her eyes were soft as she looked at him, her voice honest and true to him.

“I’m not unhappy that it happened,” She said. “But…I don’t know what it would look like for us if we…pursued this. Pursued us."

Rafael nodded, realizing that she was trying to articulate what he couldn’t put into words. Deep down, he had been thinking the same thing. He wanted there to be an "us" between them, but he didn’t know quite what that would look like either. He leaned forward a bit, resting his arms on the desk in front of him.

"You’re right. It’s about what it means for us if we decide to explore this further." He remarked.

She knew it was a bit risky. They worked together and already spent so much time together in a work context. If they officially turned things personal and romantic, what would that look like? Would they be able to handle seeing each other so often? Could their personal relationship be able to withstand their work schedules? There were a lot of questions that she didn't have the answers to. But they were both so involved with one another now, that it felt so wrong to not give it a try.

“I…suppose we can try. Start slow, you know?” She said. “I was just…afraid you would think I had crossed a boundary today.”

Rafael chuckled softly, a small smirk playing on his lips. He couldn’t help but find her concern slightly amusing.

"Crossed a boundary?" He repeated, his eyes never leaving hers. "I don’t think we’ve been particularly respectful of boundaries for a while now."

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” She laughed. “I just wasn’t sure how you felt about earlier. I wanted to be sure we were on the same page. That I hadn’t totally scared you off today.”

Rafael smiled softly, shaking his head.

"Oh, I wasn’t scared off. In fact, quite the opposite," He said, a faint hint of amusement in his voice. "You’d have to do a lot more than that to scare me off."

“Good to know,” She smiled, a small silence between them for just a moment. “So…does this mean we’re going to take things slow? See where it takes us?”

Rafael nodded thoughtfully, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. He knew that taking things slow would be the sensible option. He wanted to do this right and do it the way that was best for them. But still...he knew they both felt like they had unfinished business from earlier.

"Slow. Yeah, that sounds… responsible." He paused, his eyes searching hers. "But I have to warn you, I’m not exactly known for my patience."

Truth be told, it was going to be difficult for them to “take things slow.” When essentially that’s what they had been doing up until today. Over the last few months, they had been flirting, talking, hanging out…just never in a determined way. Today had been the first day things had turned romantic. It was just that neither of them had realized they had essentially pre-dating the last few months.

“Neither am I,” She returned the same tone. “Some call it a flaw of mine.”

Rafael chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement at her words. He had always known that she was impatient, and this only confirmed it. It was one of the things he found endearing and irritating about her all at once.

"It's a flaw we both share," He said, his voice laced with a hint of humor. "Which, of course, makes things a bit more interesting."

Now that she was really thinking about it, this really did seem like the logical next step. She didn't respond just yet, her eyes slightly squinted as she continued to look him over.

Rafael could see her mind working, and he chuckled again, leaning back in his chair. He knew from the look on her face that she was starting to realize that this had been inevitable for a long time now.

"Are you starting to realize how ridiculous this all is?" He teased. "We’ve basically been pre-dating for months now and it took us this long to realize it?"

“That seems so on brand for us, doesn’t it?” She asked with a small scoff. “Basically dating and we didn’t even know it until things got hot.”

"Oh, definitely. It’s a wonder it took us this long to figure it out," He paused only for a moment. "It’s not necessarily a bad thing, is it? The tension made things interesting...until you couldn't take it anymore."

Her eyes widened, her brows shooting up in surprise. Her lips curled into a smirk.

“Counselor,” She said. “You’re not insinuating that I was the one that broke first, are you?”

Rafael chuckled at her reaction, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. He knew exactly what he was implying, and he was enjoying messing with her.

"Oh, I think you know the answer to that, Detective," he teased, leaning forward slightly. "You may try to deny it, but we both know who cracked first."

“If I do so recall,” She leaned forward. “I remember you saying you were going to take me on your desk. That sure sounds like breaking to me.”

Rafael couldn't help but let out a startled laugh at her words, his eyes going wide. She couldn't throw that back at him.

He quickly recollected himself, his expression turning to one of mischief. He leaned forward, his voice lower now.

"And if I recall, you seemed to like the idea of that… greatly."

“Maybe…” She kept her cool. “But I’m not the one who broke first.”

They could do this all night...and they were just getting started.

"Is that so? Because I remember clearly, you’re the one who started this whole thing. You were practically begging me to take you right there on my desk, Detective." His voice was deep and slow.

“I was just making friendly conversation about a coworker and the conversation so happened to turn into work related things,” She nearly whispered. “That’s not begging, counselor. You couldn’t make me beg even if you tried.”

"Is that a challenge, Detective?" Rafael chuckled, his smile growing more arrogant by the second. He leaned even closer, his face mere inches from hers, his voice a husky whisper. "Because I can think of a few ways I could have you begging very quickly."

She slowly stood from her chair, hands pressed against his desk.

“That’s not going very slow, Counselor.” She said.

Rafael looked up at her, his eyes darkening as she stood over him, her hands resting upon his desk.

"Slow is overrated," Without warning, he reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her forward so she was standing between his legs. He smirked up at her, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "And you’re not exactly helping."

“I came by for a chat, per your request.” She tried to ignore the feeling of his hands on her waist. “Isn’t that what we’re doing? Talking?”

Rafael let his hands run gently up and down the sides of her hips as he continued to look up at her, his voice silky and low.

"You’re right, you’re right. We are talking. Just a simple, friendly conversation between coworkers." He tugged her closer still, his hands gripping her hips a bit more firmly, his smirk growing wider. "But your body’s saying something completely different, Detective."

The term coworkers irritated her because she knew they were well past that. They had been past that for a while now. Rafael noticed the subtle shift in her expression when he said 'coworkers.' It was obvious that she was on the same page as him. They were well past the point of mere coworkers, and they both knew it. He released a low chuckle, his hands still on her hips, his fingers gently tracing over the fabric of her skirt.

"What is it? You look annoyed. Does the word 'coworkers' bother you all of a sudden?"

“We’re hardly coworkers, Rafael.” The usage of his first name sent a chill down his back. “That’s putting it lightly, don’t you think?”

He could tell she knew exactly what she was doing. He looked up at her, his eyes dark and intense.

"You're right," he said in a low voice, his hands still on her hips, his grip a bit tighter now. "I've never wanted to take any of my coworkers on my desk. But you…" He pulled her closer still, his voice dropping to a huskier tone. "You're something else, [Y/N]."

Her hands were fiddling with his tie in a calculated and seductive way. Her eyes trailing up and down his body as she looked at the suspenders he always wore.

“Tell me more. What exactly am I?' She hummed.

Rafael swallowed harshly as he watched her hands play with his tie, her eyes roving over his body. Her touch, coupled with the intensity of her gaze, was driving him mad.

He pulled her even closer, to the point where she was standing in between his legs.

"You’re maddening," he said, his voice rough. "You’re infuriating. You’re captivating. You’re everything I’ve been trying to resist for months now."

“Yeah?” She looked at him in the eyes again. “All those months of waiting…sounds to me like you’re admitting that you broke first.”

Rafael’s jaw clenched as she called him out, a smirk spreading across his lips.

"You think you’re being cheeky, don’t you?" He drawled, pulling her into his chest. "I may have broken first, but trust me, you’ll be breaking too."

He backed her into his desk, the very same way he had earlier that day. But this time, it was late at night, and there was no one to interrupt.

The desk pressed into the backs of her thighs as he pushed her against it, his body pressing close against hers, his hands still gripping her hips. He leaned down, his breath hot against her ear as he spoke in a rough whisper.

"No work to be done. No one to bother us. Just you and I," he murmured, his teeth grazing her earlobe. "And we have a lot of lost time to make up for."

Her heart was pounding as she felt him begin to envelop her senses. He was going to have her at his mercy in no time.

Rafael could feel her heart racing under his touch, and he reveled in the power he had over her. He nipped at her earlobe, then trailed kisses down her jawline, his hands roaming over her hips and thighs. He could feel her breath hitching in anticipation, and it only fueled his hunger for her.

He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin there, his thumbs rubbing lazy circles into her hips. Her hands were wedged between them, her fingers fumbling to get the buttons of his shirt undone. She had one leg hooked around his, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere.

Rafael felt her hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, and he smirked against her neck, his lips continuing to graze over her sensitive skin. He could feel her leg around his, trapping him in place, and he chuckled lowly.

"Impatient, Detective?" he teased, his teeth gently scraping against her collarbone.

“That makes two of us,” She sighed, when he found his way to her lips, her words muffled against his kiss. “Are you sure you won’t get in trouble for this?”

Rafael deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against hers, his hands roaming over her body with more fervor now. He could feel her need for him, and it only served to heighten his own desire.

He broke the kiss just long enough to speak, his voice a low growl. "I won't get in trouble. We're all alone."

Her mind was reeling. She wondered for a quick moment what Olivia would say if she knew she was here with their ADA, nearly at his mercy. Olivia had always been a bit protective over her, and she knew she would be getting a lecture when Olivia inevitably found out about this. But for now she wasn't worried about it. This was an opportunity she wasn't giving up.

Rafael watched as her hands moved to unbutton her blouse, his eyes devouring her as more of her skin was revealed. He could feel his body growing hotter with each button that came undone, and he knew he was losing his restraint. His hands roamed over her bare skin, his mouth finding its way to her neck again, biting and sucking at the sensitive flesh there. He was all over it once her shirt was open, her hands moving to his waist to get his belt undone.

Articles of clothing were going everywhere. His tie, her shirt, his belt, her shoes. They moved with a careless fervor, discarding all clothing as they went. His hands roamed her body, wanting to touch her everywhere, wanting to possess her body and soul. His mouth found hers in a heated kiss, his hands gripping her thighs as he hoisted her up to sit on the desk. He stood between her legs, his chest pressed against her, his hands pushing her skirt - her only clothing article left between the two of them -- up to her hips. His hands pushed up her legs to get her skirt out of the way, when he made a mouth watering discovery.

Rafael let his hands slide over her thighs, pushing her skirt up to reveal tantalizing amounts of her skin. He was enjoying every second of this and wanted to savor every moment. But then he felt her skin against his fingertips… and he froze. He looked down at her legs, his eyes going wide at the sight of her, his voice dropping to a rough rumble.

"You're not wearing anything underneath." He said, almost flatly.

Truth be told, that was a complete coincidence. It was a longer pencil skirt and sometimes she just didn't bother with wearing anything underneath. But it seemed tonight it was playing in her favor, so she decided to go with it.

"Hm. It must've slipped my mind." She hummed.

When her leg wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to her, he had to bite back a groan. He felt like he was coming undone, his control being pushed to the limit. He leaned down, his lips hovering over hers, his voice a low husk.

"You have no idea the things I want to do to you right now." He reached for the zipper on the side of her skirt, dragging it down and opening her skirt. She helped him slip it off of her, watching it slide down her legs and onto the floor.

She was spread out across his desk, her legs wrapped around him and keeping him as close to her as he could almost possibly get. She was flushed, but glowing in the dim light of his office. And it occurred to him that he could now have this whenever he wanted.

She was a sight to behold, spread out across his desk, her body responding to his touch, her legs wrapped around him, holding him close. He looked down at her, his eyes taking in every inch of her body. He had dreamed of this moment a million times before, having her for himself and them finally indulging in one another. He had never felt so connected to someone before. He adored her in every way, and now he was going to have her in a totally new way. She looked so gorgeous and so beautiful laid out in front of him, he hardly even believed she was really here with him.

His heart hammered away in his chest as he watched her eyes gloss over him, looking at him with nothing but admiration and desire in her eyes. Her hand hovered as she looked at him, his hand holding the side of her neck to keep her face close to his.

"Can I touch you?" She whispered, her voice sending a whole party of fireworks to explode all inside of him.

"Please," His teeth grazed her lower lip, his words coming out as a stutter when her warm hand wrapped around his hard cock. "Oh f-fuck."

All this time, the feeling of her touching him was all in his imagination...his daydreams late at night when he couldn't sleep and could only think of her. But now it was real and happening, and it felt so much better than anything he ever dreamed up.

Her touch is electrifying as she runs her hand along his length, being gentle and calculated with her movements. He shudders against her when he kisses her again, her hand pumping him to get him worked up. A warmth slips through her fingers and wets her palm, his pre cum layering her hand as she strokes him.

He groaned into her mouth, his own hand finding its way between her legs. He knew his fingers were cold when he touched her based on the goosebumps that erupted all over her skin. She let out a small whimper when he dragged his fingers along her slit, his hand skilled and careful. Their tongues explored each other's mouth, his leaving hers to trail down her neck and stop just above one of her breasts. He gave a bit of an arrogant chuckle against her skin at the feeling of his hand that was now slick from her growing wetness.

"You're soaked, mi amor..." He drawls, voice muffled against her skin. "You're so eager for me, hm?"

She paid special attention to the tip of his cock as she continued to stroke him, his cock filling her hand as she drew more sounds out of him.

"Only for you," She breathes. "Please, Rafael..."

Their hearts are pounding, bodies basically trembling with need and anticipation. They can't wait any longer. The buildup to this moment was too long for them to hold back anymore. He took his cock from her and held one of her hips in his other hand as he positioned himself to her. He looks at her, his eyes dark with desire and body aching for her.

"Yeah?" He asked, giving her one final ditch effort if she had any hesitation about this at all.

She doesn't, of course. Her head nodding and voice soft as she gives him the go ahead.

"Yeah," She whispered. "Please."

Their moans almost harmonized when he pushed into her. They moaned the other's name in pure adoration and satisfaction. It was the most right feeling in the world, like they had been missing this moment all this time. Now it's her turn to shudder as she gets used to the feeling of him, which gave him the chance to get used to feeling her. They share kisses wherever they can get them, his hips pushing and pulling out of her slowly to ease her into it.

They're a perfect fit. He fit into her so exquisitely and she engulfed him flawlessly. He stretched her with each roll back into her, the feeling of her encasing him was so mouth watering that he couldn't stop the noises that were coming out of him.

She began to squirm after a few moments, her hips instinctively shifting to get more friction and speed from him. He started to fuck her at a faster pace, not even interested in teasing her or making her beg for it. He needed this just as much as her...if not more,

He pushed as far into her as he could go, her eyelashes fluttered when he hit a certain spot that made her toes curl. She leaned back onto her palms on his desk, head rolled back as the sounds of their session filled the room. Her waist began to meet his thrusts, their bodies fucking each other and giving the other what they needed.

He felt like he was losing control with every movement, every feeling of her around him. The intensity of their pleasure is almost too much to bear. His cock is soaked from her, spreading it to the insides of her thighs and the tops of his as he continued to pound into her.

There's a slight shake in her arms and legs, both from the adrenaline of this moment and the anticipation leading up to it. She lowers her upper half flat on his desk, her body stretched out and on display in front of him. She's getting rocked into the top of his desk, her moans and whimpers like music to his ears.

He wondered for a moment how much the desk could take. This was a first, and the creaks that sounded from the desk being used like this were loud and proof that it wasn't built for this. He didn't rightly care - if this was how he broke and destroyed his desk, then so be it.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. It felt like a disservice to her and himself to even look away for a moment. She was too beautiful and too perfect not to take in at every moment.

"I can't get enough of you," He gasped, his voice ragged and thick. "Oh, fuck..."

She made noises at every movement and he groaned at everything she did. They were more alive right now than they had ever been. And it occurred to them that this is going to be their new normal. They could have this whenever they wanted.

His thoughts ran wild as they moved together, pleasure and bliss overtook his mind completely. He could hardly think of anything past her — the way she felt and looked beneath him, the sounds she made, the way her body fit against his perfectly. She was everything in this moment, and all he wanted was to make her feel good.

"Raf, you...you feel so good." She could hardly get the words out, her head so foggy and fuzzy as he continued to pump into her.

He studied her face - her eyes fluttering, cheeks flushed, and lips swollen. He groaned at the sight, his hands rested on her hips with a firm grip as he started to guide her movements and pull her onto his cock as he fucked into her. Her back arched off the desk at that point, her body overwhelmed in the best way at this deep kind of pleasure. He watched his cock go in and out of her, glistening and totally pumped full of blood and energy.

His cock twitched inside her when she pulsed around him, a burning coil in his gut growing stronger. He knew that in more normal circumstances, he would've wanted to take more time with her. But for tonight, this was more than enough. He reached for her, yanking her up off the desk and pressing her chest to his. He wanted her close when they hit their highs. He kissed her hard, their noises random and sloppy as they grew closer to their end.

"Shit-" She cursed, her voice pitchy and raw as her lips brushed against his. "Rafael, I'm-"

"I know," He cut her off, catching her in a quick kiss as he feels his orgasm start to overtake his senses. "Me too."

Her hands are on either side of his neck, pressing his forehead to hers as he fucked her into her finish first, her legs tightening around him as she cries out into her climax. Her vision tunnels as she finishes, her entire body tensing into it as he gives into his own release, her name falling out of his mouth in a strained whisper. He held her close, his head buried into the crook of her neck as his spend shoots and spills onto her thighs, some leaking off of her and dripping onto the desk.

Their bodies are still pressed together, their chests heaving up and down as they tried to get their breathing to return to normal. He couldn't believe this was real. He never thought today would end up like this, with her coming off of her pleasure high and wrapped around him like this. Her legs still have a minor tremble to them, completely weak and worn out. She smiled at him when she pulled her head back to look at him, her hands resting on his shoulders.

"You okay?" She asked eventually, still a bit breathless as she looked down at the mess created by them.

"Yeah," He nodded, a grin on his face. "I'm more than okay. You?"

"I'm good," She agreed, their eyes meeting again. Hers sparkled and his were bright - they were over the moon right now. They only looked at each other for a few moments, their minds still racing and thick with ecstasy. "I...I don't know what to say."

He can't help but laugh. Truthfully, they still had a lot to discuss in terms of where they were going from here. But they had a good idea of what this meant for them. This hadn't strained or damaged their relationship in any way. If anything, it was a good first step into being more...official. So for tonight, he didn't mind just enjoying the moment.

"You don't have to say anything. Let's get you cleaned up and just..." He sighed, his grin unbreakable. "Enjoy it."

"You're right," She returned a smile. "Besides, there will be plenty of time for us to talk, huh?"

He nodded, his hands resting on the sides of her thighs as he took in this stunning picture of her.

"Of course. Plenty of time for talk...and much more."

This meant the world to them. This was a long time coming, and now that it was actually happening, it was much sweeter than they could've imagined. They're more than glad to make this a regular thing. For her to be a part of his every day in a new way...a better way for both of them.

[silentmouthpiece]

I hate to say it, but i might as well.

It would be so easy to become a Jimmy. Hell, there are Jimmy's everywhere, but no one wants to admit or even realize that it would be easy to be just like them.

A problem we have as a people is that as soon as someone commits a horrible or unforgivable act we dehumanize them call them monsters. I'm guilty of it as well. It makes it easier to separate them from us, to believe that no real human could commit such acts. The thing is...they are human. They are like us and we are like them.

Jimmy is human. A severely fucked up one who's gone unchecked to the point of catastrophe, but he's human like us. He sounds and acts like a human, and his actions are very fucking human. His issues that spiraled so out of control are so very human that when I look at them in a certain way I see my reflection in the mirror. I see Jimmy in the ways some people walk and how they talk, but no one ever wants to see Jimmy within themselves. I wish I could say I'm nothing like Jimmy, but I can see all the ways I'd turn out like him if just a few things were different.

If I were a man, would I have absord the toxic masculinity of the fathers and guy friends in my life and all that entails? If I was less empathetic, would I let my resentment at the state of my life control me to the point I can only see the worst in others instead of force myself to maintain a sliver of compassion and optimism? If I wasn't desperate to be self-aware, would my crippling fear of failure and lack of self-worth blind me to the reality that I allowed them to hollow me out and leave me with nothing to be proud of? If a younger me didn't convince myself that I can only punish myself for anything that happens, would I have turned my anger and listlessness into a blade that cuts others instead of turn it inwards or share it with my friends? Would I inflict pain on others once I realized I could fullfil a need by doing so? I could go on.

I am also ashamed to admit that one of my knee-jerk reactions to hurting someone badly (albiet unintentionally) or realizing I was increadibly wrong about something is denial. It doesn't last forever but I will obsess over it for a long time afterwards. It's a nasty feeling and it's an instinct that literally feels like a chain yanking my brain to follow it. Primal fear feels like that as well, and it rears it's ugly head when I'm faced with confronted with reality and consequences of my actions.

I want to go back to college, but whenever my mother brings it up I get locked into a state of primal fear, insecurity and hopelessness because I crafted a reality where I have no skills, goals or ability to pursue a higher education or a life that suits me. Confronting that reality sends me spiraling down a very strong wave of depression that often debilitates me, though I've gotten better at climbing out of it so I can at least focus on my job. It still feels like I'm being compelled to enforce that reality, and that instinct overrides all better senses. It's an unchecked issue that controls my actions.

When I talk to my friends all I can see is that they have something they're skilled at or passionate about, and that they're doing what I told myself I can't. I never thought I was a jealous or envious person, but I think that's because I never resented anyone for what they had. However, I see so many instances and depictions of resentful and malicous envy/jealousy that I know they are typically linked. In a world that's more competitive than I ever was, these emotions drive people to harm each other all the time for any reason one could think of. The worst part is those people can also happen to be friends and family who love each other deep down. It's so damn common that it must be human.

I don't understand the need to force myself on anyone for pleasure or control, so I can't relate or speak on that. It's happened often enough that others can speak on it and that's terrifying, and what I see is so beyond my ability to comprehend as an actual thought process or mentality but it's still very real and human. Animals do it to and humans are animals, but we're not talking about that. I suppose the closest I can get is the callousness I can feel sometimes when I'm absolutely out of patience with someone.

All that to say is... I think I get Jimmy and his inability to accept responsibility and the cognitive dissonance of wanting to be seen as good and capable as he destroys everything and everyone he touches. I get his resentment and jealousy of Curly and that it's so tied deeply with his love for him that it twists into something noxious and all-consuming. I get how his warped perception of others didn't stop him from caring for others (mostly the guys), but it affected how and how much he cares for them. I get the casual cruelty he can dish out and I understand being locked in the worst mental autopilot to avoid the fallout of your reality that you made because couldn't accept yourself.

I hope that all made sense. Jimmy really got me thinking.

[shieldofiron]

Vibe Check

Part 14: Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy

Also on Ao3 here and tumblr here

Steve can feel Robin getting bored with him. She’s been braiding some of her bangs together at the center of her forehead like a little tail.

The trouble is Steve just doesn’t know how to stop.

“And obviously, I can’t say anything! Billy’s dad was super awful to him and he’s only out to like three people. I don’t wanna break the gay guy bro code-”

“Gay guy bro code is so the name of a porn,” Robin says, tugging at the little useless thing until it came undone.

“Because I broke the whole like… circle of his trust by kissing him and turning into a creep!” Steve doesn’t even break stride in his pacing for her interruption, and Robin’s dorm was small, so pacing wasn’t easy.

“You’re not a creep, he already said that,” She mumbles.

He flops down next to her on the bed. “But like… even though I know I don’t have a shot. I keep thinking… do I have a shot?”

Robin opens her mouth.

“Because Billy’s really and honestly my best-” Steve cut out when Robin put her hand over his mouth. At least it smelled pleasantly of her shampoo not nasty, like Billy’s hand normally did.

Christ, Steve had missed him.

“There. Jeez. I can finally hear myself think,” Robin says. “Will you please chill out just a little?”

Steve has to think about it but he eventually nods.

“I am loathe to admit it because we did so much work in your ‘get over a straight crush’ twelve step program but…” she sighs, “this could mean you have a shot.”

“You think?”

“I mean, he’s gay. And you’re best friends. Weirdly touchy best friends. Clearly the kiss didn’t completely repulse him.” She nods once, decisively. “I don’t know about this Jason guy but he confided in you and came out to you. That’s huge.”

Steve nods eagerly, opening his mouth again. She quickly clamps her hand down over his mouth again.

“Now what we need to be thinking is not is this possible but how do we make this possible,” Robin shook her head.

Steve pries Robin’s hand free, “ok. How do we do that?”

She stands up with energy, pacing a little, her hair bouncing. Steve is really glad at this moment that Robin’s roommate was always at her boyfrien’s. He sits on Robin’s pink ruffled bedspread, toying nervously with one of the worn edges. Robin hated the thing, because it was a hand-me-down from her big sister, but Steve likes playing with it. Besides, it formed a contrast with the rest of Robin’s decor, and Robin herself. And there was something kind of charming about it. She turns to him, heavily lined eyes widening.

“Yeah?” He sits up straighter.

She slumps. “I’ve got nothing. This is uncharted territory. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I get a vibe from Billy. But I assumed it was latent bisexuality he was going to repress until he developed an ulcer in middle age after you two went on a bros fishing trip.”

Steve’s somach sinks and he deflates into the bed. “Oddly specific.”

“What I mean is this never happens. Normally straight crushes only end in heartbrak.” She shakes her head. “Do you have any idea how rare this is?”

“Obviously not, I only realized about myself like a few weeks ago.”

“Well, it’s a big deal. It also means I have no idea what to do.” She huffs. “I’ve failed you as a gay sensai.”

“No, no, you haven’t. I mean without you I probably would have developed that ulcer.” Steve stands and takes her hands. “You will always be my gay sensai.”

“You’re right. How could I have doubted myself?” She closes her eyes and then opens them, staring into Steve’s very soul. “Sorry, I got lost in the magnitude of it. He’s gay!”

Steve breaks into a giddy grin. “I know.”

“You have a shot.”

“You really think so?”

“Steve, for like two years I thought you and him were all shacked up. What can this Jason guy have that you don’t?” Robin’s blue gaze is so sincere it almost makes Steve want to cry.

“I dunno. He’s pretty hot. He’s like super buff with a great ass, and he’s kind of mouthy, like Billy, so…”

“How did you not know you were bi. It boggles the mind. But anyway, you’re hot stuff too, Mr. Thigh Kappa-”

“Theta Pi-”

“Whatever. Billy just needs a little nudge. You’re gonna be like Brittany and Santana.” Robin’s nodding with herself like she’s agreeing with something.

“Who?”

“Oh my sweet summer child. It’s like… friends to lovers, ok? We just have to show you in a new light,” She waves a hand over Steve’s t-shirt and sweatshorts. “Make him see you as more than a friend.”

“I did kiss him,” Steve reminds her, stepping back a little because the eye contact was getting a bit too much.

“Exactly. We’re off to a great start. Now he knows you’re bi, he’s already seeing you in a new way. The time to strike is now!”

“Okay,” Steve nods, then shakes his head then nods again. “But what if Jason likes him back?”

“Then we hope you’ve already gotten Billy’s attention,” She claps her hands together. “That’s why we need to move fast. Strike while the iron is hot. Billy said he wanted to break Jason and his boyfriend up, right?”

“Right.”

“So I say, you try and get them all out together so you can gague how Jason feels about Billy.” Robin says.

“And the boyfriend too. Maybe it’ll actually work in my favor.”

Robin grins. “Yes, exactly. Phase 1: scope out the enemy. After that we move on to, Phase 2-”

“Seduction.” Steve looks down at his shoes. “Damn, you really are the sensai.”

“I know, I’m like cobra kai over here. What is it? Punch fast, no breaks, no mercy.” Robin’s head is bobbing like a bobblehead. “This can work.”

Steve beams, “this can work.

“Totally. And besides I’m pretty sure making moves on your friends is like actually the gay guy bro code.”

“Wait, really?”

Robin sighs, rolling her eyes dramatically. “This is why I wanted you to go to a gay bar. Hookup culture. You’re basing all your gay knowledge on like… homoerotic moments on Friday Night Lights.”

“But I don’t want to just hook up with him. I wanna like… date him.” Steve looked at his hands. “Like I wanna take him out and bring him flowers.”

She squints at him, “ok, well, you do that to a closeted guy at your own risk, ok?”

“What do you mean?”

She looks at her poster of 1971’s Klute like she’s praying to Jane Fonda to help her though this. “Like you are right that you have to step a little careful. Billy just came out to you and it sounds like you can’t exactly show up with flowers to the frat house without him probably punching you.”

Steve makes a stifled sound. “I wou- the flowers are more of a metaphor. I mean I don’t just want to be a hookup.”

“Yes, I know. I’ve heard many times about how you want to stand in the thunderstorm and let it drown you. And so had everyone else in editing 102.” She nods, pacing a few steps and rubbing her fuzzy green socks into the flat dorm carpet.

Steve squirms a little, turning away and looking sightlessly at the things on Robin’s desk. “No, that wasn’t about Billy-”

“Shh… a plan is forming.” He looks, and she’s holding a hand up. “How did you and Nancy start dating?”

“I flirted with her at a few parties, and we hooked up. And then I put on my charm,” Steve starts, jolting when Robin grabs his arm.

“And Heidi from Winter’s lecture? Didn’t you say you dated?”

Steve scratches his temple. “We hooked up when a couple of us went to see In the Mood for Love. And then we started texting, and I put on the charm… but, I-”

“Exactly. Ok. Ok. Here’s the plan.” Robin tugs on his arm until they’re both flopped on the bed. “You agree to help with the Jason thing, scope everything out. And then while we’re there, just… like make out with someone. With Jason if you can.”

“What? In front of Billy?”

“Yes, Grandma. Listen. I’ll be there, I’ll watch Billy’s reaction. But it will do two things. First, Billy’s gonna see that you’re open to hooking up. So the kiss won’t seem so much like a repressed love confession.”

Steve can only shrug, because it totally was.

“And then you can start hooking up with Billy,” She smiles, even as she’s digging her blue fingernails into his arm.

Steve’s face is getting hot and his stomach flip flops. “But I don’t want him to get the-”

“Wrong idea, I know. But if you start with the lovey dovey confession and Jason’s around he’ll fully freak and think you both have to like come out to the house and be together right away. How do you think he’s gonna react to that?”

“Ok, that’s fair.” Steve wasn’t sure if he wanted to hope but his heart rose in his chest regardless.

“Once you’re hooking up you can just slowwwwly put on the charm. Ease him into it,” Robin circles a hand in the air. “And then you can find out the best ways to sneak around, and figure it out and then oopsie it’s been months and Jason? Who’s that?”

Steve bites his lip, nodding slightly.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Just nervous. What if Billy doesn’t fall for my charm? He knows what it looks like.”

“Duh. You dazzle him with your dick, Steve.”

“But I’ve never hooked up with a guy!” Steve cries.

“That’s why a friend would be a perfect first hook up. Trust me. He won’t know what’s happening. You’ll be like I dunno how teach me how to give a blowjob. We’ll distract him with your wiles,” She flings her arm towards Steve’s body with all the enthusiasm as if she was pointing at a dead spider.

Steve kneeded his lip between his teeth. He should take more time to think it through. But his head swirled with ‘what if’s,’ while his heart was storming with wild runaway wishes and hopes. He could turn hooking up into a relationship. He knew he could.

But the stakes had just never been so high before.

Robin nods like she can read his mind. It always feels like she can. “Ask him to go out. Baby steps. And don’t worry, your gay sensai will be with you every step of the way.”

[ratwars]

I love pavloving myself with music for writing I've done it twice now and it has made it so easy to pick things up. First with the Roses and Revolutions coffee shop playlist for Angel Collective, now with The Cure's Disintegration for The Same Deep Water as You. It is like a cheat code to productivity, but it only works if the music fits my writing and that is not something I can just conjure up every time.

[no1ryomafan]

With more older anime I watch that’s specifically about androids the more I noticed all the influence mega man pulled from it despite it not being a anime nor the robot timeline ever getting a proper anime but I think what gets me more then “the basis of mega man is like astro boy, casshern and POSSIBLY kikaider all in a blender with mega man x making the second two inspos more apparent” is realizing how many villain characters inspired proto man.

You have the obvious one, char from Gundam, you have rock holmes from Astro boy who’s not a confirmed one but seems to track given classic takes a lot of Astro boy influence and then you have Saburo from Android kikaider, the most likely inspo for proto in EVERY category- and then you remember how while these characters are evil for a complex reason, proto man really shines to be different as he changed his ways. He’s still a rival to his “brother” in a sense but bass takes more of the role of the evil mega man, while proto just watches from afar and comes in to help when he thinks he’s needed.

I’m going to rotate this red robot fuck for awhile again FUCK

[toytulini]

act annoying on this post and ill block you ♡

everyone accusing black sails fans of Being Rude In The Notes owes me $10 for making me look in the notes (like. What. WHERE) and $10 more for subsequently making me witness the Stede fans also being unhinged petty assholes but it doesnt count when they do it, i guess?

at this point im saltier about Black Sails fans being repeatedly being called assholes but ofmd fans Not being called out for probably the same behavior or worse? and with what feels like very little. evidence? god damn

[foldingfittedsheets]

I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.

I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.

“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”

“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.

But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.

They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.

That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.

A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”

I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.

“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.

Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.

At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.

Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.

“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.

“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”

Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.

[iceunhie]

— PUSH AND PULL : honkai star rail.

premise. as someone who's always believed in the term “try and try again,” (peak delusion, you know) rooting yourself in their heart has always been your goal, no matter the cold rejections and curt declines you receive. however, even you have your limits; perhaps this little push and pull you two have going isn't worth your time after all... but what happens then, if the chaser becomes the chased? (oh, how the turns have tabled.)

...or, when you play hard to get with them.

— ft. sunday, aventurine, jing yuan.

warnings: angst n fluff, messy messy, these boys are in love but are wayyy too chicken to admit they actually adore you, genderless reader.

a/n. inspired by @/xiaowhore's playing hard to get headcanons! my holy trinity 😇 n MY FAVES RAHHH

NEXT : BACK TO MASTERLIST || ASKBOX

SUNDAY is perplexed. very much aware of his qualities which enlists him as one of the finer (finest) bachelors of Penacony (he was the Robin's one and only blood, and was also the head of one of the main guiding forces of the Family, after all), sunday isn't sure he's ever come across someone as.... tenacious as you.

foolish, to be more precise, for he cannot for the life of him comprehend exactly why you are the way you are with... him.

no matter his respectful declines of your invitations to promenade around Penacony (re: going on dates), you really didn't know how to leave him be. though he hasn't exactly said he hated it, sunday was, admittedly, rather... affronted. your gifts, in particular, were your loud declarations of your affection (that make his wings flutter more rapidly than he'd like); but sunday was rather inconvenienced at the whole thing.

nonetheless, he does still accept them. reluctantly, mind you. not because he was fond of your constant shower of affections, which seemed so permanent that he began to look forward to them got used to it. to your credit, your gifts were very much to his tastes. (Robin once gave him a rather soul-searching look when he found himself wearing the gloves you gifted, light blue and white in color. he still uses it, just not when his sister is in the vicinity.)

in fact, perhaps he may have gotten too comfortable. little by little, your constant intrusions on his time have thawed a way to his heart; making sunday look forward to your jovial greetings and grandeur elaborations on your day, and such a thing makes him feel scared sunday needed to nip this in the bud, and fast.

so he confronts you, abruptly one day as you give him his newest gift—a jewelry box for his earrings. (surely, the rapid thumping of his heart was due to his irritation at your constant persistence, right?) “i'm afraid this can no longer continue. i am flattered by your... fancy for me, but i do not wish to enter a relationship in the near future.”

the utter silence that follows is torture to him—but he endures. he tries not to look at the momentary flash of hurt on your face. you seemed to quickly recover, though. giving him a simple smile (it didn't reach your eyes. it shocks him how his chest ached at the realization) and shaking your head when he returns the gift to you.

“i understand, mr. sunday.” the formal usage of his name instead of your chipper ‘sunday!’ makes his face twitch. “but please, keep the gift. think of this as my last declaration. it... would do me a great comfort, just this last time, if you accepted it instead.”

(if he had grabbed your hand at that moment as you left for the door, would he regret it?)

when you leave, sunday thought it would put the conflicting feelings in his mind at ease—but it doesn't. a week and two days counting, true to your word, sunday receives no flagrant gifts, nor little messages on his phone that tell him to take care of himself, to eat, and to make sure to remember to check up on Robin.

instead, contrary to the feeling of ease, regret follows him instead.

it's at two weeks and five days counting when sunday could no longer stand the sight of papers that stacked atop his desk and the image of you leaving for the door replaying in his head far too many times for him to count, that he contacts Robin.

and she, once hearing about the situation, gives him a very, very enlightening talk. (of course, not without giving her brother a lecture of the lifetime. part of him felt shame to know that his sister knew of his... turbulent love life, but she was the only one who he could trust, anyway).

“absence makes the heart grow fonder,” she says. “but in your case, brother, your heart has already decided it's course, right?”

sunday eyes the smooth velvet of the jewelry box you gifted, ruminating. his earrings lie there, carefully pristine and beautiful, gold and silver intertwined. he has worn them without fail, clean and spotless. (of course it was. such a design so intricate was only chosen by you. the thought makes his ears warm).

the next days are agonizing. vigor renewed and epiphanies well-spent, sunday spends the rest of his time after finishing his duties researching and painstakingly finding the best jeweller he can find (even employing the suggestions of a certain gambler, much to his dislike), and spending a god awful amount of time revisiting and rechecking which spots you like, which places you enjoy, to the point it comes up in Penacony's headlines that sunday is interested in someone.

surely, it should've reached your ears by now, yes? sunday panics. your preferences are well-accounted for, and he's sure the Bloodhound family members that report to him have to tell you that the person he had in mind was you. even Robin, who was your closest friend, has probably told you already.

it's embarrassing to admit, but; to hell with it, the day he meets you after three weeks and sees you having a pleasant chat with aventurine, of all people, sunday thinks his heart had shattered into little pieces and stabbed themselves into his body. not so much as sparing him a glance, moreso.

so when, finally at his wits end, sunday chooses to corner you at the dewlight pavilion and spills out how he has royally screwed up in the worst way possible, no one is surprised. at this rate, you would be swept up in the charms of that wretched gambler, and what sunday lacked in, aventurine more than made up for.

“wait, don't go to that gambler just yet.” he's breathless, he's chaotic—and something in his heart squeezes when you finally look at him. “i... i wish to take up your time now, if that's possible.” (he wishes he would take up your time forever, really, but that was still too early).

you eye his getup. all of your gifts, lined on the man you spent so long chasing after—you see the gloves you gifted, the tie with not so much as a single crease, and the earrings that shine more brightly in the light of the pavilion. (it suits him. like you) it was as if sunday had completely surrendered himself to you, had all but decided to proclaim that he was yours, and this was nothing short of a plea for you to hear him.

“please.” he says. almost begs. “i can't bear not seeing you anymore. allow me to correct such a damning mistake.”

and if you were skeptical, the way sunday looks at you would dispel any doubt you could ever have. (his wings, they were fluttering.)

(months later, after a nerve-ending confession, many days of dinners, shared gifts involving matching jewelry and promenading to your wishes, it dawns on sunday he was absolutely dancing to your tune. did he regret it, though?

....no, most certainly not.)

if AVENTURINE were to be honest with himself, he saw you as a useful “friend” rather than a romantic interest. was it bad of him? of a sort. but risk cutting himself open and letting someone he might grow to care for know about all the ugliness that follows his life? no, he's fine as it is, thanks.

the first thing he notices is that you're kind—though he distrusted most of his colleagues and preferred none to get close to him, aventurine, in some morbid moment of curiosity, instead allowed himself to bask in your attention. instead of curtly disparaging you, he flirts back at your compliments (the way your face heated up in return was far too endearing that he can't help but want to kiss you he finds it amusing) and consistently texts you a “did you get home safe” or a “i bought you this because it reminded me of you”; at this point, it was like you two were dating.

was it leading you on? yes, but he supposes it was a win-win; he could send you those tiny bits of validation that was enough for you to stay respectfully at a distance while he probed at your intentions. unlike others who attempt to garner his favor, you're genuine, and you seriously take the time to know him. because you always text back with hearts, always reassure him, tell him to stay safe and wish him luck at every gamble, every high stakes bet he finds himself in. you even complimented his perfume once (and, if he had to be honest, he could not stop thinking about it all day—because that perfume he commissioned exclusively was based off of your own favorite scents and it was extremely embarrassing that he loved hugging you knowing that you loved the way he smelled and that it felt extremely domestic).

(sometimes, he doesn't reply. for months on end. suddenly the golden-haired man you love goes cold and you know then that aventurine ghosts you and then returns when he's in need of a friend—never a lover. it hurts you, but at the very least, you know he cares in his own way.)

and, if aventurine had to be honest, it was killing him from the inside bit by bit. as if to drive the knife deeper, you never danced around what exactly was going on with you two. you never ask why he ghosts you, then sends you a bundle of gifts all of a sudden and then rapidly spends time with you and repeating the cycle. no, you were consistently by his side, so warm and so caring—so unlike him—that aventurine wonders if it's really all right to open his heart to you.

if, by some chance, he actually wanted to be with you, would you treat him even more sweetly than before? aventurine thinks you would—you were beautiful in your entirety, and he was practically undeserving of you. he imagines himself kissing your hand and having you in his arms—and that feels like ice cold water being dumped onto his head, because you could do so much better and yet, why him?

so when aventurine hears about how a certain doctor was visiting you for some unknown reason, his already fragile sense of security in this little will-they, won't they crumbles.

and when he finds out that you were staying over with ratio? something twisted lodges itself in the little brushes of his heart, coiling and coiling—making him feel green. aventurine is aware you and the doctor are good friends, and ratio was the one who even told you to make a move on him! how could he just—suddenly interrupt?!

(was it dramatic? extremely. but knowing his friend and the person he secretly adores might end up together? you can't really blame him.)

he supposes this can be attributed to him. it was an egregious mistake, a blunder aventurine made—he never gave you a clear sight of whether he truly loved you or not and now you're slipping away from him.

so, he does something very unexpected.

at 3:00 AM in the wee early morning hours, aventurine practically barges into one Dr. veritas ratio's home, demanding what the hell was going on between you. and as if he had expected it, his doctor friend merely gives him a shrug in return.

“perhaps they were simply getting fed up by a certain IPC member—who is clearly head over heels in love with them—giving them mixed signals.” ratio's tone is stern, and aventurine definitely knows that the look he gives him is the one he gives only to fools.

you idiot, the doctor seems to say. yeah, yeah, he is; aventurine ignores the clear pinprick at his dignity.

yes, he supposes he is the fool here. “ah.”

“yes, ‘ah,’ indeed. now, let me propose a question.” the purple-haired man says. “will you react in such a way when i tell you that in order for my friend to stop their anguish, i managed to get them to fraternize with one of my colleagues?”

“...what?”

“they will be having a meet-up seven system hours from now.” ratio shrugs. eyes aventurine, who's looking at him like a gaping, stupid fish. “i can only hope that no one would dare to disrupt.”

...it doesn't take him long to be rid of the gambler by then.

(a few hours later, you stop by the Intelligentsia Guild to see one veritas ratio with a smug smile, eyeing the fur coat draped around your shoulders, and the flushed and happy expression written on your face.

“did it work?” he asks.

you laugh, “splendidly.”

indeed, that gambler was a fool, and there's nothing more than dr. ratio loved than to educate such fools to shape.

“that will teach him.”)

as a quote unquote ‘old man’ who knows that he's well up in his years for a relationship, JING YUAN finds you to be quite amusing.

it doesn't take a detailed analysis to know that you were smitten with him, really. you're a complete open book by his standards—if your heated face and slightly airy voice whenever you were even placed in the same vicinity with the Dozing General was anything to come by. while flattering, he also shares the similar mindset of being too old for any love his way—and he could be mara-struck at any given time, and jing yuan does not wish such a life filled with anguish and pain for the one who may steal his heart. but, worry not, brave suitor of the Arbiter General! unlike the other two above, this man has the experience of millenia, and is open-minded and aware that you truly wish to be perceived as a potential lover.

in fact, jing yuan's recent favorite habit is sneaking off the Seat of Divine Foresight purely to freak you out, watching you scramble up your words, seeing the heat crawl up your nape and bloom all across your face. adorable. you certainly knew how to appeal, that's for sure.

(“heh, it seems i've found a new place to stay in so that the Diviner Fu won't grill me alive when she sees me.”

and when he's rewarded with a bashful and speechless look in return, a smile and your, “i'm glad, general.” it surprisingly lightens up his mood by more than he expected.

that, in turn, gives him a frightening 30% energy boost; fu xuan was utterly shocked to see the languid man actually working and looking like he enjoyed it, for once.

“did something good happen today, jing yuan? why so enthusiastic?”

“i just felt like working more than usual, diviner Fu. i seem to have my energy levels at a high.”)

now, jing yuan is considerate and perceptive first and foremost, so there's a high chance that out of all the men here, he is the most open to giving you the chance to pursue him. he does inform you beforehand that he has no plans of accepting your confessions in the future, and that is where the ‘hard to get’ part comes in.

it's like playing a confusing romance visual novel with a fickle love interest—you never really know what you're doing, whether it's something jing yuan would like or not, and you don't know if he even thinks your attempts are moving his heart. (tldr: he friend zones you).

he maintains the same distance no matter his banters with you, no matter how many times you tell him that you'd help yanqing out with sword lessons. it's like he was just... treating you as he would a friend, and that you were basically stuck in the friend-zone forever.

(he keeps it to himself, but something warm stirs in his chest when he sees yanqing sleeping on your shoulder after training practice, with your arm protectively around the boy's side.

your sleeping face didn't make it easy to look away either; it's one of the few moments in which jing yuan shows just the slightest bit of reciprocating your pursuits; he brushes back the stray hairs covering your face, and drapes a blanket over the two of you.

of course, perhaps to tease yanqing, he also takes the calligraphy brush and makes a work out of his face, doodling all over it.

when you wake up, there's a lingering scent of ink and yellowed paper that fills your senses. when you turn to the boy beside you, you almost giggle out loud.)

it's a little disheartening—and while jing yuan did acknowledge that you were slowly, slowly burrowing yourself in his heart, he doesn't act on it fast enough, and instead lets the realization sit in his mind for a while.

it gets to the point where it feels as though he were preparing to distance himself, and even yanqing had asked if he was well. your visits with the Arbiter General also decrease, as he suddenly buried himself in his work even more than before.

he doesn't get to see you all that much afterwards, despite the lingering feeling of missing you filling his heart.

....that's until jing yuan hears word of a recent mara-struck incident involving the Sky-faring Commission; with your name listed among those heavily injured.

when he visits Bailu's clinic after yanqing urges him, jing yuan takes in the sight of you, littered in injuries from head to toe. your life, about to snap. he never even told you that you won; you did manage to steal his heart and for the first time in a long time, jing yuan allows himself to love.

so if, after three weeks later when you're finally healed up and ready to go, jing yuan brings you into his arms and drags you to let him sleep in your lap, you can't really blame him now, can you?

a/n: i love yearner hsr men,,, might do a pt 2 though. thinking of mayb ratio, jiaoqiu and f/heng next time...... sighs dreamily

@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.

[coqvttes]

୨୧― KINKTOBER: ❝DON'T BE GENTLE❞ ― KÖNIG.

― ꒰ SIZE KINK ✰ KINKTOBER M.LIST ꒱ ―

୨୧˚ synopsis: after begging your gentle giant of a lover, könig to go rough on you, he lets loose tonight and shows you just how strong he really is...

୨୧˚ warnings: nsfw 16+ only, manhandling, size kink, p in v, petnames, degradation, fem!reader, sub!reader, dom!könig, creampie, teasing, hairpulling, dacryphilia?, roughness, spanking, slapping, aftercare, lmk if i forgot anything!

୨୧˚ wc: 1.4k

your jaw hangs open and your glossy eyes are practically rolling back into your head as he pounds into your sopping cunt mercilessly. plump tits bouncing freely with every harsh thrust of his, causing your thoughts to grow hazy and dumb. his large, rough palms are stretched out on both sides of you, his rough fingers digging into the mattress, keeping you caged beneath his much larger frame.

you try your best to focus on his burly figure above you, but you keep whining as your little cunt struggles to take all of him in. your eyes become squeezed shut, your head turning to the side as you grow lost in the overwhelming pleasure, but you're alerted by the sudden light slap on your cheek. you gasp at the contact and more tears spill from your eyes.

"wan' you to ruin me, könig! don't want you to be gentle", you had pleaded fluttering your lashes at him innocently. and that's how you end up like this. tiny body pinned down on his king-sized bed as he forces his massive dick inside of your needy little cunt. all your little brain can manage to think about is how big he is.

gosh, you've never felt so full with how he's meanly bullying his cock into your drooling cunt with no remorse whatsoever. your shaky little hands gripping onto his huge bulging biceps with so much strength that if were he another man, it would hurt — but no, he's könig of course.

your mind is void of coherent thoughts as all you can manage to do is moan delightedly, accepting all that he gives you. with his strong arms he moves both of your legs up to rest on his shoulders. a high-pitched pornographic moan slips from your lips as you get used to the new angle.

his thick cock hitting all of the sweet spots inside of you, encouraging hot tears to roll down your cheeks. your fingers slide up his toned abdomen, needing to feel anything and everything that's his. he takes in the sight of you beneath him and he almost feels bad for being so rough with you, but he keeps his composure.

with the lewd medley of the headboard banging into the wall, wet squelching, your sweet moans, and obscene skin-on-skin slapping noises, the sounds bouncing off the walls of your bedroom are purely sinful. creating a tune that he doesn't ever want to forget, and neither do you.

your watery innocent eyes plead with his own as if begging him to slow down. but no, the last thing you want him to do right now is slow down. shaky hands reach up to his broad shoulders, trying to hold onto him for purchase and your lips part as you try and push yourself up in a frantic attempt to kiss him.

your body desperately yearning for his gentle touch in contrast to his brutal movements. you're relieved he begins to lean down, his lips merely inches away from your own, but he doesn’t kiss you. you let out a pitiful whine and he almost laughs at you with how pathetic you’re being.

in a single moment, with little effort, he cruelly pulls out of your warmth, flipping you over onto your tummy. you squeal at how easy it is for him to manhandle you around into different positions that suit his liking. you hate to admit that his strength alone turns you on so much. before you can complain to him, he’s pushing into you again, picking up on the brutal pace as if nothing had happened.

"du bettelst immer darum, gefickt zu werden, nicht wahr, kleine schlampe?" he snarls, snapping his hips against yours. (always begging to get fucked aren't you, little slut)

pathetic moans and cries spill from your lips into the sheets as he pounds into you mercilessly, his calloused palms gripping onto your hips so tight you’ll probably have bruises in the morning.

"du magst es, wenn ich dich eine schlampe nenne hm, dirty girl?" his rough movements are relentless as he makes no effort to slow down. (you like it when i call you a slut hm, dirty girl)

your mewls are muffled by the bed and he's having none of it. he raises his hand slightly before bringing it back down, spanking you. you lunge forward from the sensation. he then pulls your head up from the mattress by your hair, but not too hard, he doesn’t want to hurt you.

“say it.” he punctuates each of his words with a harsh thrust.

“y-yes! i love it—mmm!” you blubber out desperately, your hands gripping the sheets beneath you for dear life. he lets go of your hair and you can practically hear his satisfied smirk as his thrusts grow stronger, deeper and faster, rutting into you like an animal. you take it like a good girl, his good girl as if you were made for him. 

he applies just enough pressure with his palm pressing down on your lower back that makes you arch just perfectly. his rough palms kneading into your arse whilst you let him use you as he pleases.

just as you feel your climax approaching, he stops thrusting, hot tears spill down your cheeks as your fists bunch up the sheets beneath you. your weeping cunt clenches around him, dragging a gluttonous groan from his mouth. he leans down, pressing his chest to your back, his lips lingering just by your ear.

“say please, schatz,” you just know he’s grinning evilly behind you and you lose all sense of self-respect, just wanting to cum so bad.

“p-please! wanna cum please, i’ll be good!”

satisfied with your answer he gives you no warning as he slips back into you with ease, the wetness of your cunt sucking him in making it easy for him to thrust into you. you slowly feel your knees starting to give out, but thats not a problem, he holds you up easily and you feel your muscles tensing as you feel your orgasm approaching.

the sounds of his grunting, the squelching noises from your cunt, and the tingling in your core cause your mind to go numb and your body to spasm as you cum around him with a high-pitched cry, collapsing into the bed.

he follows moments after you, driving into you a few more times before his hips stutter as he releases inside of you, making you feel full and warm with him. as you catch your breath, his fingers, now gentle, run up and down your back tenderly in a soothing motion.

“was i too mean to you, schatz?” his voice is different now, it’s genuine and caring. he pulls out of you slowly, gently turning you over so he can see your pretty face. you shake your head and tug him down for a kiss. you sigh into his lips, finally getting a taste of his lips that you'd been yearning for the whole night. 

"i'll be right back, liebling." pulling away from you, he smiles down at your post-euphoric state. sliding off of the bed, he slips his briefs back on and disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes before returning with a playful grin.

slipping into your warm embrace, he wastes no time in cradling you in his brawny arms. you almost laugh at his switch of character, how he was just moments earlier, fucking your brains out and now he's picking you up in his arms like his sweetheart. supporting you from under your knees and arms, he carries you to the bathroom, you smile fondly at the sight of a warm bath ready just for you.

he carefully lowers you down into the porcelain tub and you exhale contently as your sore body makes contact with the warm temperature of the bathwater along with the sweet smell of your lavender soap, and the gentle touch of könig's palm as he strokes your blushing cheek tenderly.

and after a few heartbeats of watching you bathe, he just can't help himself before getting into the tub behind you, the water splashing everywhere as his much larger body envelopes yours. pulling your bare back flush against his chest, your frame now trapped in his loving embrace. in that moment you just know, he'll always care for you, your one and only könig.

‧˚ʚɞ˚‧ all works belong to © coqvettes 2023. i do not give permission to claim, translate or copy any of my works. reblogs are appreciated!

[aquaticmercy]

In Another Life

Summary : Bucky is certain you only see him as a friend. It only took him travelling to a different reality to realise otherwise.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : slight cursing, very slight suggestion of sex, Yelena being a third wheel, and multiversal travel!!!

Requested by : anon

Word count : 3.9k

Note : This was really fun to write. And yes, I slipped Yelena into this because I can. Enjoy!

Requests are open!

○ buy me a ko-fi ○

“I’ll miss you,” you mumbled as Bucky handed you a knife to sharpen. As he sat there in your living room, the evening light reflected on your curtains, casting a soft shadow across his face. You sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder, so close yet not quite close enough. He had asked if he could come over the day before his mission, claiming he needed help sharpening his knives. He has said ‘no one sharpens knives as good as you’. To some degree, you both knew it wasn’t the only reason he was here.

“Weren’t we supposed to see that new World War II exhibit at the museum tomorrow?” you asked, your voice riddled with a tinge of disappointment.

“We were,” Bucky admitted, his gaze dropping to the floor. If there was one thing he hated, it was letting you down, especially over a mission he couldn’t refuse.

“Who does Strange think he is anyway— that lunatic wizard?” you quipped, with a little gossipy tone. “Showing up at your doorstep and just… demanding you drop everything last minute?”

A small smile tugged at Bucky’s lips, enjoying this sassy part of you. “It's a bit annoying, but I can’t exactly turn him down.” 

You sighed, leaning back against the couch as you worked. “What’s so important that he needs you and Yelena for, anyway? This isn't one of those ‘end of the world’ things, is it?”

Strange had basically asked him to commit theft, and not just any theft— he wanted Bucky to steal something from a multiversal variant of himself in another reality.

Still, Strange had made it sound urgent. It would be most obvious to partner him with you, since you were proven to work well together, but you had just returned from another mission in Antarctica. Both Bucky and Strange knew you needed time to recover.

That left Yelena and Sam. Sam, with his unmovable sense of duty, would’ve questioned every detail and repercussion. He was growing more and more into his Captain America mantle, and that wasn’t a bad thing— it was just inconvenient sometimes. Yelena, on the other hand, would do what needed to be done and ask fewer questions, which was why Strange approached her instead.

If the mission worked out, Bucky would have earned himself a favour owed by one of the most powerful sorcerers in the world. That was a card he couldn’t afford to pass up.

Bucky hesitated, feeling the familiar weight of secrets settle on his shoulders. “It’s classified,” he finally said, which was technically true. He didn’t want to trigger your anxieties with the details, especially when he didn’t fully understand the whole multiverse mess himself. 

You gave a small nod. You’d been around the hero-type for so long to know there were things you weren’t always allowed to know. Even though you were laser-focused on sharpening another knife, you could tell something was off.

“Are you okay?” you asked, watching his fingers dance along one of the blades, tension flowing through his body like a wave he cannot tame. 

He didn’t answer immediately, but you could see the conflicting spark in his eyes. He didn’t mind the danger. But the multiverse, something that was so unknown to him? That was a different kind of fear. 

He didn’t want to leave things unsaid with you. Not when there was a chance he might not come back.

He called your name softly. “Can I talk to you?”

There was something in the way your name left his lips that made your chest tighten. Bucky wasn’t the nervous type—not with you, anyway. Your hands stilled on the sharpening stone. “Of course,” you said, setting the tools aside.

He took a deep breath, glancing down at his hands, gathering the courage to speak. “You mean a lot to me,” he started, his voice low but steady. 

Your heart skipped a beat. Bucky’s hands reached out to gently clasp yours, the cool metal was a sharp contrast to the warmth of his human hand. It was such a Bucky thing to do, to find a simple, human way to connect, even as he struggled with the mechanical parts of him.

“I need to tell you—” 

A loud, insistent knock thundered the door, startling both of you. Bucky’s fingers slipped from yours as you turned towards the sound.

“Yelena!” you exclaimed, standing up. 

“Yelena?” Bucky echoed, blinking in confusion. 

“Did I not tell you?” you asked, biting your lip. “When you asked if you could come over, I asked if she needed her knives sharpened too. She did, so I invited her. I hope that’s okay?”

Bucky’s heart sank, but he forced himself an unreadable expression. Of course, You’d invited someone else. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to say what he wanted to say, if it ever was. In fact, maybe this was a sign to never tell you. 

You invited Yelena, your friend. Which probably meant he was also a friend—just a friend. It probably meant you would never see him as something more.

Before he could respond, you were already at the door, revealing the deadly assassin packed into a 5 '4 vessel of human fury. She gave you a sisterly smile in greeting before her eyes landed on Bucky.

“Hello, Bucky,” she said, her russian accent a little too cheerful as she dropped a heavy duffel bag on the wooden floor with an echoing thud. 

“Yelena,” Bucky replied, somewhat coldly. He didn’t dislike Yelena. He knew better than to make an enemy of her. Besides, they had saved each other’s life before. But at that moment, he resented her. 

He resented that she had unknowingly interrupted something he might never get the chance to finish. 

“Drink?” you offered, already heading towards the kitchen. 

“Just water,” Yelena shrugged, flopping down into the armchair with the casual confidence of someone who could kill you with both hands behind her back. As you left the room, Yelena turned her mischievous gaze to Bucky, her lips curling into a knowing smirk. 

“I’m not third-wheeling today, am I?” she teased, pulling out a couple of dull knives and placing them on the table in front of her. 

Bucky’s ears burned red. “Shut up.”

Yelena chuckled, twirling a knife like a baby would play with their dummy. “I can see the way you look at her, you know. If you put half as much effort into flirting as you do into those knives, you might actually get somewhere.”

He clenched his jaw, the frustration building. He hated the insinuation that he wasn't trying. But now? He might stop. He might just give up because clearly, he was a friend to you, the way Yelena was a friend. “It’s none of your business.”

“Oh, it is when I’m sitting here watching you blow your chance, Barnes.” Yelena’s tone softened, just a touch, before she glanced in the direction of the kitchen. “She’s oblivious, but she cares.”

Bucky stared down at the knife in his hands, knowing he had to deal with this teasing all day tomorrow. A constant reminder that he will always be too afraid to tell you. “It’s not that simple.”

Before Yelena could respond, you returned with glasses of water in hand, completely unaware of the exchange between the widow and the soldier in your absence. You handed Yelena the glass with a smile and settled back down beside Bucky, completely oblivious to his racing heart.

—

The multiverse… wasn’t as confusing as Bucky had expected it to be.

Sure, he didn’t understand how it functioned or what the exact mechanics were—something about a teenager named America Chavez punching a star-shaped hole through space-time. Or something like that.

But what really threw him off was how familiar this reality felt, how similar it was to his own. The streets, the neighbourhood, the people, the world around him—it was all the same, yet different in subtle, uncanny ways he couldn't quite point out.

America had opened the portal in an alley near Bucky's apartment in this different reality. After he and Yelena stepped through, America warned them: "I will open a portal again in two hours. Don’t miss the window." America was still so young, but she had a grim seriousness in her voice. Bucky wondered what her story was.

Now, Bucky and Yelena sat perched on a fire escape across from his own apartment—or, at least, a version of it. It was the same address as his was in his reality. The mission was simple: retrieve an artefact that belonged to this variant of Bucky—a blue stone embedded in a gold ring—from his apartment in this reality. Strange had briefed them on it: the ring was a powerful protection charm, and he needed it.

He just had to wait until his variant went out for his daily run, slip inside, find the ring, and get out. Yelena would be backup, keeping watch in case things went south. Maybe in case the variant of him decided to return early.

“I can’t imagine your girlfriend approves of this dangerous multiverse stuff,” Yelena quipped, resting her sniper rifle on the edge of the fire escape. “She’s very protective of you.”

Bucky’s cheeks turned bright red. “She’s not my girlfriend,” he muttered, though the title felt strange on his lips. 

“Whatever,” Yelena grinned, clearly unconvinced.

Only thirty minutes later, variant Bucky stepped out of the apartment for his run.

“Radio silence unless it’s an emergency,” Bucky instructed before slipping his earpiece in, turning it on. He didn’t want distractions. Not today.

Sliding off the fire escape, Bucky quickly made his way to the apartment. To his surprise, his keys worked just fine. No need for breaking in. As he stepped inside, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being somewhere both familiar and alien.

Everything was almost identical— just almost. The couch was a lighter shade of blue, the TV a different brand, though it looked the same. It was like staring into an uncanny mirror of his own life. 

Focus. He needed to find the ring.

He began searching the usual spots—safes, drawers, anywhere he’d hide something important in his own apartment. But no luck. Think, Barnes, he thought to himself, where would you put a protection charm?

Then, something caught his eye— a framed photo on the mantle of his fireplace that wasn’t supposed to be there. A photo of him and… you.

His breath hitched. It wasn’t just any photo. You were kissing his cheek, a lake in the background. The warmth in your smile, the easy comfort between you both... It was a picture he'd never seen in his reality. 

Were you together in this one?

Suddenly, everything clicked. The extra clothes in the closet, the toiletries. In his reality, you had a drawer in his apartment, since you stayed over sometimes, as a friend. But this? This was different. Here, you shared a life.

He spotted a camera, instantly recognizing it as the same model you had back in his reality. He knew he should stay focused on finding the charm, but curiosity got the best of him. Before he could stop himself, he turned it on, eyes shifting through the photos. Image after image appeared—of him and you together. Holidays, long walks, intimate dinners. Kisses and comfortable hugs. 

His chest tightened with a hollow ache of jealousy. Was this what he could have? What he might be missing?

Before he could process the feeling, a buzz in his earpiece snapped him back to reality.

Yelena’s voice came through, saying your name urgently. 

“What?” Bucky asked. Why would Yelena say your name like that?

“She’s here. She’s entering the building.”

Panic surged through him like a thunderbolt. “Don’t shoot her,” he ordered.

“Yeah, didn’t plan to,” Yelena answered, annoyed that he thought she was thinking of it, “but what are you gonna do? She has keys.”

Of course she does, Bucky thought, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. Frozen in his place, his mind raced. What now?

Suddenly, the door opened, and there you were, a version of yourself he had never met before.

“Buck?” the variant of you said, startled, eyes widening. “I thought you’d still be on your run. And why are you wearing your tactical suit?”

You closed the door behind, placing your bag on the couch.

“I—” he stammered, completely unprepared for this, unable to move. His heart pounded in his chest, the sound tangled in his throat. He glanced at your hand. There, on your finger, was the ring. The protection charm.

Of course. He should have known. He’d do anything to protect you.

His mind spun with conflicting emotions— jealousy of his own variant, longing for you back home, and guilt that he was even here.

You took a step closer, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. “Not that I’m complaining about the tactical suit... You know I like it when you wear it to bed.” You flirted with a tender laugh, that soft sound that always made his heart stutter filling the air around him.

Bucky’s breath caught in his throat as you leaned in. It would be so easy to give in, to just pretend for a moment that this was his life, that this variant of you was his. To feel your lips on his. 

His hand twitched at his side, wanting to grip your waist, to pull you closer. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t let this continue.

He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, stopping you. “I can’t,” he whispered, voice strained. “There’s nothing I want more. But I can’t.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. The variant of you pulled back, studying him more closely now, noticing the subtle changes. There was a subtle scar on his neck that wasn’t there before. “You’re not my Bucky, are you?” 

Yelena’s voice crackled in his earpiece again. She had been able to hear everything. “Bucky, I know she’s your weakness, but we need that ring. Do not tell her—”

Bucky switched the earpiece off, ignoring Yelena’s warning. He’d deal with that later. You deserved better than half-truths.

“This is Strange’s doing, isn’t it?” you asked, taking the revelation surprisingly well. “I thought he was done with all this multiverse shit.”

He nodded, guilt twisting in his chest. “Yeah. But… not your Strange. Mine.”

Silence hung in the air, thick with unspoken words. The variant of you looked at him carefully, as if searching for a trace of the Bucky you knew.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I didn’t mean for you to get involved.”

“What does Strange want?” you asked, frowning. “And why is he sending my fiancé to do his dirty work?”

Bucky blinked. Fiancé? His heart stuttered. That ring wasn’t just a charm. It was your engagement ring.

You noticed his shock. “We are engaged in your reality, right?”

He swallowed hard. “No. I—I haven’t even told you, uh, her… how I feel.”

A soft chuckle escaped you. “So, all the Buckys are like this then? Huh.”

Bucky’s heart raced, his mind still reeling from the idea that you— at least this version of you—were engaged to him in this reality. It was everything he wanted but didn’t have. 

“I know I shouldn’t be here,” he muttered, guilt laced in his whimpering voice.

You tilted your head like you were trying to piece the puzzle pieces together and came to a conclusion that you were safe. As if you convinced yourself that no variant of Bucky would ever hurt any version of you.

“It’s okay,” you said softly. “You’re still him. In some way.”

He wasn’t your Bucky, and yet, you spoke to him like he was. You spoke to him with the same compassion, the same love. His eyes flickered to your hand again—the ring. 

Focus on the mission, he reminded himself. But how could he? Your eyes followed his stare, and it landed on the gold band around your finger. You let out a small but heavy sigh.

“Strange wants the ring, doesn't he?” you asked. Bucky nodded, feeling his heart twist in his ribs. He didn't want to take anything away from you.

“He said it’s a powerful protection charm.” 

The variant of you stood still for a moment, “I know.” You gently slid the ring off your finger, holding it in your palm. 

You stepped closer. “If Strange wants it, I know it has to be important. I trust that lunatic wizard— and I trust you.”

You were trusting him— this version of him who wasn’t even yours— with something so personal, something tied to your bond with his variant. “But, it's your engagement ring,” he said. He knew he got what he wanted, but he can't help but wonder why you gave it away so willingly. “I—Your Bucky gave this to you to protect you.”

The variant of you smiled, taking a necklace chain from under your shirt. There it was, the same stone that was on the ring also sat on your chest.

“My Bucky asked this reality’s Strange to split the gemstone,” the variant of you said, “He knows I have this tendency of misplacing my jewellery.”

Bucky can't help but chuckle. His version of you had that quirk, too.

“I’ll explain everything to my Bucky when he gets back. I know he’ll understand.” You hesitated giving him the ring for a second. “On one condition.”

His brow furrowed. 

You gave him a knowing smile, one that was all too familiar. One that made his heart swarm. “Go back to your reality, and tell me—her how you feel.”

His heart twisted. He does not make promises he can't keep, especially not to you— any version of you. “I can’t—"

“You can,” you interjected with that stubbornness he knew and loved. “If she means anything to you, you will.”

He stared at you, and no words came out. All this time, he had kept his feelings hidden, afraid of losing you if he told the truth. But here, another version of you telling him to just suck it up.

Bucky’s voice wavered above a whisper. “What if she doesn’t feel the same?”

A soft laugh escaped your lungs, and you shook your head, knowing something he doesn’t. “Trust me, she does.”

He could tell that this variant of you knew him so well, even if you were from another universe. Slowly, he took the ring from your hand. It felt heavier than it should’ve, weighted with more than just its magic.

“I will tell her,” he whispered a promise, “thank you.” 

You nodded, giving him a small, encouraging smile.

Bucky clenched his jaw, putting his earpiece back on.

“There you are,” Yelena’s voice crackled back into life. “Our window’s closing. We’ve got about ten minutes before the portal opens again. Move it.”

A shaky breath left his lungs. “Ring secured. On my way.”

He gave you one last look, his heart full of a thousand swirling emotions he couldn’t even begin to put a name to. “I hope your Bucky knows how lucky he is.”

The variant of you smiled. “I think he does.”

Without another word, Bucky slipped out of the apartment, the ring safely in his pocket. 

—

Bucky had knocked on your door after the day of his mission. When he saw you, your name escaped his lips like a prayer as he hugged you. 

Now, this was you. Not another version of you.

“Are you okay, Buck?” you chuckled.

Bucky held you a little tighter, his chest rising and falling against yours as he tried to ground himself in the present— this present reality. He pulled back slightly, eyes scanning your face like it was the first time he’d seen you in years. The both of you slipped into your apartment, closing the door.

“I missed you,” he admitted softly, though it had only been two days. The words now  carried more weight than they ever had before. His mind was still reeling from the alternate reality, from the life he could have had with you, and from what the variant of you had told him. He found some comfort and confidence, knowing that there was a version of him out there who had done what he was too scared to do—tell you how he felt. It was his turn now.

You smiled, but concern flickered in your eyes as you noticed something different in his touch. “You’re acting weird. Did something happen on the mission?”

Bucky hesitated, but he knew he couldn’t let this opportunity pass him by again.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Bucky said, his voice uncharacteristically shaky. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but you stayed silent, giving him the space to continue. You’d known him long enough to recognize when he was on the edge of an emotional breakthrough.

He took a deep breath to steady himself and stepped closer, his fingers brushing the side of your arm. “I’ve been afraid of losing you if I told you…”

Your heart skipped a beat as you realised where this was going. You stayed quiet, letting him speak.

“I care about you more than anything,” he continued, his stormy blue eyes locking with yours, vulnerable and frail. “I’m in love with you, and I’ve been too scared to say it.”

Your breath caught itself before it left your lungs. You could feel the truth of his words in the way his voice wavered, in the intensity of his gaze, in the flutter of his touch.

“I’m sorry if this is too much, too fast,” Bucky added quickly, misreading your silence for rejection. He cursed at himself, wondering if the variant of you had been wrong. “If you don’t feel the same, I—”

You didn’t let him finish. Instead, you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. It was soft and tentative at first, but as soon as your lips met his,the hesitations, the doubts, the fears all fell away. 

Bucky’s metal hand settled at the small of your back, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss. His soft lips moving against yours with a mix of relief and urgency, taking each other in for the first time as if it was your last. The warmth of your body against his, the way you fit perfectly in his arms— it was everything he could ever ask for.

You finally pulled back breathless, your foreheads rested against each other as you let the adrenaline settle.

“I love you too, Bucky,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I was just waiting for you to see it.”

Bucky chuckled softly. 

You playfully shook your head. “I owe Yelena ten bucks.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. 

“She was here yesterday night, after your mission,” you said, “She bet me that we’d be together by the end of the week. I took the bet because I didn't think you’d feel the same.”

Bucky let out a low laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing as a grin spread across his face. She had been pestering him after the mission yesterday, insisting on knowing what the variant of you had told him. But he had not volunteered any information to her.  “Yelena knew before I even said anything? I’m losing my edge.” he teased himself, shaking his head.

“Please, Buck. She’s like a human lie detector,” you quipped, rolling your eyes fondly. 

“Well, ten bucks is worth it, right?” he smiled.

You kissed him once more, short, sweet, and fleeting this time. It drew a giggle out of you, “Definitely.”

Maybe one day, he’d tell you about the mission, about the variant of you. 

But for now, he only wanted to enjoy the moment.

-end