#hate saying it but it could be either of them at this point

[ariessunsakura]

Disclaimer: I started writing my response to this in 2017 and found it in my drafts. I know the whole post is quite old at this point and I'm truly not interested in arguing with anyone or continuing any discussion here, but I decided I didn't want some of what I wrote back then to go to waste.

Back when I started writing my response to this, I was 21 and angry at the large swaths of the fandom insulting the intelligence of Sakura fans like myself. I still love Sakura and SS, but I don't have an issue now saying that men like Kishimoto writing dynamics like Sasuke and Sakura's is something that should be...looked into, let's put it that way haha. That being said, what I still find disheartening is seeing Sakura, very much torn down by misogynistic fans in a large, primarily male fanbase, also torn down or criticized for supposedly feminist reasons by people who are often just determined to dislike her for whatever reason or somehow clearly miss important details. Sakura was reckless and made mistakes and did questionable things, as did many other characters who for some reason draw less ire. Lots of double standards.

Just to reiterate something that's already been said many times, Naruto proves that pop culture aimed at boys should have carefully written main female characters. There is the blatant misogyny that's happened in this fandom that anyone can see. Meanwhile, certain specific fans in the Naruto fandom that I may or may not need to specify (lol) have acted like the gatekeepers of social justice discourse in the fandom when really they've often just been hypocritical and selective about the type of issues they apparently care about when it comes to how they manifest in pop culture, or at least in this bananas series. They've often been bystanders or apologists or worse to that blatant misogyny. In light of everything that's been going on in the world, I sincerely think we should be more careful about how we talk about female characters. So when people write supposedly feminist posts but say that Sakura is just the "female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations" despite everything the story has shown us, I kinda hate it and don't think that's good or feminist at all. Back in 2017, I wrote: I'm sick of condescending takes about Sakura and her fans as though there's little about Sakura’s character or the end of her story that could or should possibly resonate positively with girls.

Again, I know the original post is old. I know that Kishimoto's writing deserves to be criticized and that Sakura made mistakes and should've been written more carefully and responsibly, but I still want to say my piece.

It's true that Sakura is insecure early on, but her feelings for Sasuke really have nothing to do with that. She doesn’t know that Sasuke is popular when she starts to like him, so her feelings have nothing to do with wanting validation.

She knows her worth as a ninja and among her loved ones by part 2. A lot of guys are interested in her, including ones she admires and cherishes (Naruto and Lee). She confronts Sasuke fiercely many times, even as a genin. She basically spent part 2 trying to save or fight or stop him, going so far as thinking she should kill him to protect the village. That's hardly looking for his validation.

And that's not even mentioning what we're shown rather than told about her feelings for him, which is a theme for them. It's often the nonverbal way they act with each other more than what they say.

Karin with her chakra sensing can tell Sakura's grief is genuine and that she must've known Sasuke well.

“There is nothing different or special about Sakura’s love.”

Kishimoto gives us Karin, whose love for Sasuke is written as different from Sakura’s. Karin enables some of Sasuke's destructive choices and ultimately gives up on him, while Sakura ultimately doesn't do either of those things. And we can hypothesize all we want about Ino or some other girl being no different from Sakura, but who's to say they'd have had the same chemistry with Sasuke personality-wise or otherwise, or mutual understanding? We see from inner Sakura and in other instances that she has parallel elements of Naruto's personality, so...yeah, enough said lol. And who's to say another girl would've known exactly when Sasuke would leave the village, unlike Naruto? I think these speak for themselves:

One of the themes of SS, asserted in Kakashi's 693 quote, is that it’s about Sasuke accepting love without an overt reason so he can heal. Love in real life isn't always rational, it's about passion and attraction and things that are unspoken and can't always be put into words, which I think is what Kishimoto wants to convey with SS. The emotion for Sakura in Sasuke's eyes is concealed from us each time he thanks her for a reason. Sasuke tries to make a show of not caring about any of Team 7 or having a reason to love Sakura, but is still clearly drawn to her despite himself.

He's proud of her in the middle of all of the chaos and strife. He can't help but react to her.

I think Kishimoto makes contradictions more than once in the series, maybe including with SS. Clearly he's made a point to write things that make Sakura special and unique in some way to Sasuke, but there's also the message that Sasuke should allow love in without rationalizing it.

Another theme for them and for other women in the story is stated by Shikamaru's father: Even the roughest woman is tender to the guy she loves.

"Sasuke has not singled her out. She doesn’t appeal to him or interest him. She doesn’t challenge him in any emotional, mental, or physical way."

I think all of the above indicates otherwise. She does challenge him and changes his behavior, least of all when he has his first taste of intoxicating power.

He says himself that he has to remove himself from her and Naruto's vicinity to accomplish his goals. I think the intensity of the genjutsu he puts her in mirrors the intensity of some of his fights with Naruto as statements of him forcing away his bonds.

Still, Kishimoto makes a point to include this theme that can also apply to Sasuke:

"...she doesn’t know him, she’s doesn’t understand him, she doesn’t even have a basic grasp on the concepts that are necessary for those things."

Not true. She works tirelessly to understand and learn everything she can, and it's just not her fault that she doesn't always know everything. It honestly doesn't matter that she doesn't.

Sakura gets a lot of heat for what she says when Sasuke leaves the village, but shows she clearly understands his pain later on when trying to reason with Sai:

Never mind that Sasuke isn't even angry at her for what she said when he left.

“Sakura was just afforded the opportunity of being the closest girl around and female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations. But I think the worse part, the really bad thing about it, is it supports a Sakura never growing up(...)as the blind quest for Sasuke’s dick goes on forevermore. All the pathetic shit will forever be apart of her as she dusts a house for a husband who comes home twice a year, who has a child who feels neglected, and she is happy with her dysfunctional family because Sasuke-kun’s anything is enough.”

Anyways.

As for her family, Sakura is clearly distressed by Sarada's distress. Kishimoto inventing a task apparently only Sasuke can do leading to him being away from his family is questionable to say the least, but it's hardly the first time in the story that normal or expected standards maybe can't or don't apply. Never mind Kishimoto probably projecting his own sentiments about men's career burnout and sacrifice onto Sasuke and Naruto...lol

Sasuke treasures Sakura, there is no way around it.

I don't think anyone is saying Kishimoto's writing is always the pinnacle of excellence lol, and no one has to like Sakura or SS. But people should at least think a little more about what Sakura has meant to a lot of girls and how the story actually unfolds.

Just a Little Bit on Sakura and Sasusaku

You know what I think about Sakura? This is less about Sasuke and more about herself. See, as person who dislikes Sakura, I actually think that because I’m not biased with fanfiction interpretations that I have a better grasp of Sakura’s character than some people who love her. Sakura, despite her bravado, is not a person of real confidence. She has low self-esteem and very little self-worth. I think that part of the reason she is so hung up on Sasuke is its a sense of validation for herself. She was shy, friendless, unpopular, and overlooked as a child. She liked Sasuke, but even better, to be acknowledged by someone everyone likes, everyone admires, that would make her special. That would make her somebody worthwhile, right? Of course I do believe that Sakura does have feelings for Sasuke, but is she really in love with Sasuke the person, or is it the idea of him? That he doesn’t notice her or pay attention to her only makes this insecurity worse. Sakura is constantly angsting over not doing enough, not fitting in on her team, not belonging or being someone of necessity. As stated (in the only time she ever elaborates on her feelings) she is attracted to Sasuke because he’s attractive, talented, and “cool”. A person who personifies, in essence, everything she believes herself not to be. God, there’s so much to say about this really, but I’ll save it for later. 

It’s part of why Sasusaku is such an out of left field idea to me. Sasusaku shippers portray the ship as the exact same way that leads Sakura’s problematic behavior. They ship it because they love the idea of Sakura being the “special one” who is the exeption to Sasuke’s personality and his greatest weakness and is the “fangirl who’s different from all the other girls”, which is so irritating because she’s not. Sakura is the antithesis of these concepts. There is nothing different or special about Sakura’s love. There is nothing different or special about her as far as relating to Sasuke goes. As I detailed in my previous posts, she doesn’t know him, she’s doesn’t understand him, she doesn’t even have a basic grasp on the concepts that are necessary for those things. Sasuke has not singled her out. She doesn’t appeal to him or interest him. She doesn’t challenge him in any emotional, mental, or physical way. They’re not even close. What does Sasuke even know about Sakura, or understand about her? Sakura, as far as Sasusaku goes, has nothing different or special about their relationship or dynamic that couldn’t be done by any other generic fangirl. Absolutely nothing. Nothing that transpired between them is anything that wouldn’t have happened had any other fangirl been placed on his team. That’s really the only thing Sakura had going for her or that seperates her from, I don’t know, Ino. Do any of you Sasusakus honestly think that if Ino was on his team that he wouldn’t have saved her life? That he wouldn’t have grown to care for her as a teammate? That he wouldn’t have thanked her for caring about him? That he would have left her to die? Or treated her like dirt on the bottom of his shoe? Do you really think that these “Sasusaku proofs of love” aren’t just generic shit that would come with virtually any other teammate, and is actually something unique that would only be there with Sakura?

‘Cause see, that's my whole thing. Can’t say that about Naruto. I can’t say that if Kiba had been his teammate, everything about their relationship would be more or less exactly the same. Or Shikamaru. Or Chouji. Or Neji. 'Cause you see, the manga has shown me this. Its shown me the depth, the reason, the relationship, the uniqueness between the two. In fact, while reading this I bet you were thinking of how different the dynamics would have been between Sasuke and those male characters, because, surprise surprise, there is actually something substantial there that can’t be replicated and receive the same results. Seriously, replace Ino with Sakura and think of what would change in regards to Sasuke. Ino would have cared. Ino would have tried to stop him. Seeing as how there are no substantial moments of bonding or exclusivity between the two, there is nothing that would have happened that Ino couldn’t fill in for. Sasuke waxed lyrical about Naruto and how much he’s always loved him and the ways in which he enriched his life for two straight chapters while Sakura got no mention (except, of course, in the Team 7 picture where he refers to them as such). Sakura was just afforded the opportunity of being the closest girl around and female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations. 

For fucks sake, Sakura literally has nothing to do with Sasuke’s character or story arc. Seriously, delete Sakura from the manga and tell me what about Sasuke’s person or journey as character throughout the story changes. Please. Tell me something that would have affected his plot if some other girl with healing powers were on his team.

I’m just saying, there is nothing inside of Sasusaku. Nothing at all. Kishimoto doesn’t give a fuck about this pairing (lol I don’t know how they got together I don’t want any SS in the pairings movie there wasn’t gonna be any in the Bolt movie either but the SS fans are complaining so I guess I’ll come up with something here have a family pic of Sasuke looking like he’s about to run away as soon as the camera flashes and a Karin lookalike child who feels neglected), and it cannot become more apparent how little actual thought goes into this ship. Its just a vicarious fantasy ship where Sasuke is standard shoujo angsty bad boy bishie and Sakura is “independent, normal girl who’s different from all the rest” which is pretty much the antithesis of these characters. 

But I think the worse part, the really bad thing about it, is it supports a Sakura never growing up. It takes all those things (the potential for self-reflection and learning to be a person who doesn’t need others to feel worth something) and throws it in the garbage as the blind quest for Sasuke’s dick goes on forevermore. All the pathetic shit will forever be apart of her as she dusts a house for a husband who comes home twice a year, who has a child who feels neglected, and she is happy with her dysfunctional family because Sasuke-kun’s anything is enough. I don’t even fucking like Sakura, but that anyone is defending that anything about what her character turned into is satisfactory and good is honestly some disheartening shit. 

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Sometimes I think Merlin and Arthur started the sacrificing each other to save each other shit too soon into the series.

Then I remember this scene exists.

(Screenshot from S1E2 - Valiant of Merlin bringing the snake head from the enchanted shield to Arthur to warn him that he’s in danger.)

They moved quickly, but they have a damn good reason for it. I honestly can’t say I blame them.

Merlin learned two things about his destiny with Arthur from this episode:

The first is that Arthur will listen when it matters, but his father’s influence runs deep. Arthur cares more about people’s opinion of him than anything else because he’s been groomed his entire life to become the future king, and Uther is tyrannical in his power so he believes that his is the only way to rule. Arthur picked up bad habits, so while he’s still young and learning what kind of man and leader he wants to be, he could still go either way and Merlin can’t yet trust him to always make the best decisions. (Proved in S1E3 when he enlists Morgana to talk to Arthur about the Afank)

The second thing is that Arthur believes in the systems that Merlin knows to be broken, so he learns it’s better to come to Arthur with results rather than warnings, because Arthur believes the systems in place can help, even in situations where they’d be more of a liability.

Both points are then enforced through season 1 and reinforced by Merlin himself in season 2 onwards.

Arthur learned that Merlin is loyal and honest to a fault, but because of the lifelong grooming as royalty and someone who’s supposed to be “above all others” - as proven when Uther says “his life isn’t worthless, it’s worth less than yours” to Arthur in S1E4 when he denies Arthur a group of men to take to save Merlin - it takes a while for it to really sink in that someone can be loyal and genuinely like him without ulterior motive, and when he finally does recognise that Merlin’s devotion is genuinely sincere, he pushes Merlin away (S2E1) in an attempt to keep himself from getting too close and then hurt by what his father would call his own naivety, rather than just admitting that sometimes people are just bad people who do bad things.

He then subconsciously or not learns that Merlin not being by his side is bad so he keeps him around but at a distance with walls built to protect himself. I can go more into that another time. Uther scapegoats Arthur for a lot, and even acknowledges that he’s a bad parent a few times but never does anything to change the behaviour so his apologies aren’t worth shit. Add that to the genocidal tyranny, and you’ve got a fascinating character who somehow isn’t the main villain of the story. I hate him, he should go play hop scotch on quick sand, but damn is he interesting from a writing/analytical standpoint.

So, yeah, they moved from “if anyone wants to kill him, they can go right ahead. I’ll give them a hand” (-Merlin S1E1) to “…Certain death. Few who have crossed the mountains in search of the Mortaeus Flower have made it back alive” “Sounds like fun” (-Gaius and Arthur S1E4) pretty quickly, but it makes sense when you think about why they moved that quickly with context of how they interact and their (assumed) past experiences.

[jakeswifeyyy]

10:40𝑝𝑚

Part 3 of the best friend Jake drabble.

☞︎︎︎Part 1.

☞︎︎︎Part 2.

✯Pairings:Bestfriend!Jake xf.reader.

✯Genre:Fluff,smut,angst

✯W.c:5.0k

✯Warnings:Unprotected sex,use of petnames,mentions of drug use,bathroom sex,cowgirl,nipple play,making out,heavy angst at some point.

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You and Jake continued your shared escapades for weeks after he taught you to suck him off, but you got more and more curious and wanted to learn more so the coming weeks he taught you all there was that you needed to know.

Time skip

It was again a Friday evening after classes both of you in the library as usual before you decided to tell him,It felt so deja vu saying something else about him teaching you in the exact same scenario,"Jakey.." you whispered out half hoping he heard half hoping he didn't, but your heart dropped to your stomach when he hummed still focused on his book,confirming the answer of a physics question he had just attempted,while tapping his foot to whatever he was listening to with one airpod in.Despite his fuckboy,flirty persona Jake was really serious about studies,being top of his class and so were you,"Uhm...." hearing you hesitate he looked up at you raising an eyebrow,"You never hesitate to say anything y/nnie unless.....its something to do with...." He read you like such an open book you feared,shyly nodding at his assumption,"He smirked,placing a pen to mark the page he was on before leaning on his arm to face you,"What is it princess?"taking in a deep breathe before asking,"Since like exam season is near I've been really stressed and I need help relieving it..."he thought for a second before laughing loudly,getting a threatening glare from the librarian and shutting up,"Want me to fuck you princess? You could've just said that,I'd never deny such an opportunity with the prettiest pussy I've ever seen hm?" You hit his bicep playfully before he rubbed it feigning being hurt,and pouting,"Heyy is that what you repay me with for complimenting you." You scowled at him,"Jake,don't say such stuff in public," Glaring at him before you saw him lean in and whisper in your ear,feeling your heart rate fasten,"So you rather I say it in private princess..?" He breathed the words Into your ear before slightly biting your earlobe making you wince,"SIM JAEYUN- "you hit his chest lightly after recovering from your trance before he giggled,seemingly getting the reaction he wanted out of you,"Okay okay mom I'll stop," playfully tolling his eyes before you saw the librarian approach both of you,pissed,"Uh oh," you both said together.

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Yeah that's how you got banned from the library for a month,heading home,you passed by a convenience store together,to get some ramen and some groceries for your apartment,again being Complemented by some strangers about how cute of a couple you are,you smiled back thanking them,not knowing how to correct them but Jake,seemed bothered by it from your view,only half smiling at them,smile not reaching his eyes,you couldn't deny that his reaction kind of hurt you,did he hate the idea of you two looking like a couple,deciding you shouldn't worry about it either,you were just friends who fucked...... right? No feelings were supposed to be involved,but you,had already crossed that line a long time ago...

Arriving at your house you headed to the kitchen ,jake helping you unpack the groceries,playing some songs on the loud speaker while unpacking ,both of you singing in broken tunes but who cares you were having fun,especially with you trying to take your overthinking off your mind,after finishing ,you decided to take a shower, to calm yourself from the stress as you'd told jake ,fearing he would now refuse the idea to fuck you,"Uhm Jakey,we don't need to fuck though,I'll just shower it off-" before you could finish he cut you off ,"Mind if I join,you brought up the idea and I'm kinda already half-hard,"He said while scratching the back of his head,"You perv,"You giggle telling him its ok,heading to the bathroom and turning on the tap to fill the bathtub,while standing in front of the mirror,Jake came in behind you,shutting the door before wrapping his hands around your waist behind you and you leaned your head on his shoulder before he whispered,"There's no one here now,gonna praise this pretty pussy all night,would you like that?" He said while trailing kisses down the side of your neck and you nodded,biting your lip your eyes shut tight,feeling him grinds his bulge against your ass,he moved to shut the tap filling the tub now that it was full,before moving back to you taking off his shirt before turning you around and placing his hands under your thighs hoisting you onto the counter,admiring the sight in front of you,"You make sweats look so hot jakey," he looked down at himself before looking back at you and smirking,"On or off,doesn't really hide anything princess that's why you like it hm?" Before you could answer he attached his lips onto yours ,hands coming to rest at your waist,lightly squeezing it,while your arms came to wrap around his neck you didn't need to answer,he was right anyway,he bit on your bottom lip making you let out a moan as he sucked on it and your teeth clashed but you couldn't care any less letting him have his way,pulling back before catching his breathe,"Take this off princess," tugging at the hem of your sweatshirt ,to which you pulled off in a hurry before he connected your lips again,fingers drawing random patterns on your back before trailing his fingertips upwards and unclasping your bra in one move,before pulling it off of you ,scanning you up and down before letting out a growl and moving in to kiss you roughly this time,hands crawling up your stomach to your chest to grope at your tits,"So...damn...pretty.." he grunted in between the kiss,while you shamelessly moaned into the kiss,"J-Jakey,"he groaned kissing down your neck,"No baby that's not my name," he stopped kissing your neck,"That's not what I wanna hear baby," he said while tugging at your hardened peaks,"Jaeyun?" He nodded before going down to your mounds,kissing around the hardened peaks,before licking it while staring up at you,fingers twisting and tugging at the other while looking up at you,he looked so goddamn hot in that position you had to look away,grazing his teeth against it just how you liked it,"Fuck jaeyunnie I don't wanna cum from this wanna cum on your cock p-please," you panted out tugging hard at his roots,"Wanna cum on my cock baby?" Nodding frantically as he looked away,"Such a dumb baby for my cock aren't you hm?" You nodded quickly,"Yes yes yes please yunnie," he smirked tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear,"Since my baby begged so nicely,spread your legs for me baby," you then didn't do that confusing him as you got of the counter pulling him towards you in the bathtub,"Sit yunnie,please wanna ride your cock you love that right?please,"How could he say no seeing he had you at his mercy like this,he nodded getting into the tub leaning on it as he stared up at you basically eye fucking you as you stripped bare off your sweats and panties ,he was shamelessly eyeing you with his lower lip between his teeth,as you got in the water onto of him ,his hand coming to support you holding your hip as you steadied yourself on his shoulders completely straddling him before slowly grinding.

"Yunnie,p-put it in..."he chuckled squeezing your hip,"No baby you wanted this,do it yourself".Nodding you wrapped your hand around his hard on,striking it lightly before using it to trace a line from your clit to your entrance,moaning at the feeling,before slowly pushing the tip in your entrance,murmuring out a 'fuck' eyes shut biting your lip as jake was mesmerised by your face when in a state of bliss,he helped you lift your hips up before you slowly started sliding down,your hole clenching along the way making it difficult to do so,"J-jake...love your cock so much...ngh"He squeezed your hip as you started to slowly move your hips up and down his cock,"Yeah baby?just like I love this pussy hmm?" You nodded not in a position to talk,Jake had noted that you were not one to talk much when in an extreme state of bliss so he didn't pay much to it ,"K-kiss me yunnie," needing no further permission he crashed his lips onto yours as you increased your pace ,his hands sliding between your bodies to rub your clit in fast circles,bucking his hips up to meet yours,"Baby,keep clenching around me like that and I just might cum," paying no attention to his words you stopped bouncing on him starting to grind on him moving your hips back and forth on his cock,you'd noted that he loved that,"I'm...gonna...ngh cum yunnie,"head thrown back against the bathtub eyes rolling to the back of his head,hands working fast on your clit,"Yeah baby? So close for me? Me too..fuck," he sat up,now peppering kisses allover your chest ,before starting to lick and suck at one of your mounds,teeth occasionally grazing your nipple making you arch your back further into him,hips now stuttering,he knew you were close by the gesture ,"Yunnie yunnnie yunnie cumming ahh....fuck," Following up right after white spurts of his coming being thrown all over your velvety walls as you felt his member soften,you fell on his chest ,thighs burning.

"Do you feel stress free now y/nnie?" Nodding as your eyes were still shut tight ,jake always made you orgasm so hard that you felt so exhausted after.Turning you around ,back against his chest he squeezed some soap in his hand lathering it over the both of you,cleaning you up as you rested before getting you up into a robe and taking you to your room,no matter how much of a fuckboy he was ,He took aftercare seriously,atleast with you he did.

After changing you into a shirt and some sweats he kissed you on the forehead bidding you goodbye as he needed to get to his dorm,so he could study the next day and also wonder why his heart had started beating so fast whenever he was around you despite trying not to show it much,sighing he picked up his stuff locking the door behind him,he never was one for aftercare and kisses on the forehead or crown,those were clear signs of affection and he knew that,but his stubborn self didn't wanna agree,She's my best friend's that's why I treat her different, he kept telling himself this to convince himself.

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The following week was hectic,you guys had your finals for the semester and both being straight A students you couldn't meet up at all as you took completely different classes and exams were very serious for the both of you,you lacked a lot of sleep that week wanting to pass maintaining your position at the top of the class looking forward to Friday evening after your last paper so you could finally rest and ofcourse last paper had to be math but you didn't mind much as you were remarkable at it.

"Finally.." sighing as you set foot in yourapartment,dropping your bag and coat at the door,locking the door as you took off your shoes before your phone started blowing up,looking at the notifications you saw the gc from your friend group which had been so dead for so long was now lively,you all were quite serious about your studies and now was time for the yearly end of semester party and people Got drunk as hell without a care,did drugs ,it was hectic,always hosted by Park Sunghoon the party animal, you and Jake had been bestfriends way before joining that group so you kind of weren't around them much,if he was with the guys you'd be with the girls,to the point they started teasing you both about being in a relationship because of how you were always together but you both just brushed it off.

Heading to your room throwing yourself on the bed ,before peeking at the texts,they were just discussing about the party ,deciding you'd respond later you shut your phone falling asleep ,exhausted from the hectic week.

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Around 11am the next day you woke up to banging on your front door,quickly fixing your clothes patting your hair to go open it,squinting eyes still hazy from sleep,"Guys..?" Sunghoon Jake and Jay barged in with Karina behind them all greeting you before taking in the state of your apartmentxyou panicked at how messy it was,"Oh my God why didn't you tell me you'd be coming," Jay chuckled,"Don't worry y/n we don't judge," laughing after you headed to your room brushing your teeth and washing your face quickly before going back to the living room,finding everyone happily discussing,Karina patting a spot next to her as you headed over,"So what's the occasion?" Sunghoon stared at you shocked,"Did you not read the texts in the gc y/nn?" He deadpanned,chuckling awkwardly at your dumb question,"Ohhh yeahh sorry l" the others burst out laughing at the way you and sunghoon always fought,but Jake didnt even crack a smile"Yes so we're planning about the party it's tonight at 10pm and it's already 12pm now so what's the plan?" Everyone thought for a bit,"Have you ordered the drinks and stuff ?" Sunghoon nodded showing him the message from the delivery company,"Alright music and food,"Who's dj this year?"You asked,"That junior Nishimura?,he's a cool kid," Jake answered you before you nodded,"Then I guess nothing much left, is there a theme hoon?"He shrugged," No not really there'll be a pool so anything anyone wants to wear just no old fashioned fits it's a damn college party I'm talking to you y/n be lively just this once,"playfully rolling his eyes and you scoffed feigning being offended,"Park how dare you old man," you threw a pillow at him and he threw one back.You guys ended up passing the afternoon at your place ordering takeout and just catching up after not being able to meet up for a while once in a while accidentally making eye contact with jake who seemed like his mind was elsewhere as you all talked,but you just awkwardly smiled before dismissing it.Evening came by fast and the guys left you and Karina who had already carried her stuff as she always spent the night after the party at your place or longer after.

As you were looking for a dress with Karina's help ,Karina suddenly spoke up,"So Spill the tea y/n" you were confused to say the least," What do you mean-"she stood up before pulling you to sit with her on your bed,"Girl I could see how jake was basically eye fucking you the whole time,"Looking away you tried to dismiss her,"What do you mean I don't unders-" she shut you up,placing her finger on your lip,"I may not know jake as well as you but he's never done this before at any of our hangouts ,something is definitely up,cause he wasn't even trying to hide it,especially when you were all laughing with hoon he looked pissed," Realising she already figured out you decided to tell her everything,from the beginning as her jaw just kept falling more and more open before you closed her mouth pushing it up,giggling,when you were done she squeezed,"Oh MY GOD OUR SHIP IS SETTING SAIL," you felt your heart ache a bit,"Rina I really like him but im not sure if he feels the same towards me too,maybe he just likes fucking around you know.."she sympathised with you before pulling you into a hug,"Oh baby,how about we try and rile him up tonight hm?" She pulled you back to see if you were listening to her as you faced up nodding along,sniffling a bit before she smiled at you,pulling you Into your closet looking for the perfect fit for you and she did your hair and makeup perfect ,you could barely recognise yourself. Glasses finally off,God you looked hot,"Oh girl if I was bi I'd definitely go for you,thats how hot you are babe" she winked wrapping her arms around you from behind as you admired yourself and her work in the mirror,"Thank you so much Rina," she just poked your nose,she was already dressed so you guys quickly left.

Safe to say the party was a typical college party,drunks everywhere ,people sitting outside smoking blunts as they laughed holding cups of alcohol as the both of you made your way inside,meeting Jay and Sunghoon in the kitchen as Karina pecked your cheek whispering she'd be at the dance floor but as he waved at you and walked off she blew you a flying kiss mouthing good luck.A girl then came in after throwing herself all over Sunghoon and they left to God know where to do God knows what .You caught up with Jay,asking about his long distance girlfriend and more as you just sipped on your drinks as you kept talking ,his Girlfriend ,used to be part of your group but had to move to Japan with her parents on their request but they were still in contact and were in a happy relationship,then it hit you,you hadn't seen jake yet."Hey Jay by the way Where's Jake?" He said he wasn't sure so you left him saying you'd go look for him and be back,as you walked into the crowd a scene on the other side of the room caught you attention not seeing very clearly in the red lighting and dancing shadows but squinting you saw it,it was Jake,your best friend you were so deeply in love with ,with a girl on his lap ,giggling together like two idiots,you didn't want to think much of it ,maybe she just sat there ,he was irresistible you couldn't blame her,but your last straw was when he took her hand leading her to the less occupied balcony,instinct made you end up following them,tailing back a bit behind so as to not get seen,but you immediately regretted your actions as you reached the balcony peeking outside, you saw jake had her pinned against the wall they were making out ,he was groping her everywhere as she pulled on his hair ,strings of moans and groans emitting from the both of them as they practically ate each others faces off,you couldn't hold back the tears ,the cup in your hand dropping,drink pouring everywhere and that caught their attention as Jake turned around he met with your eyes ,dull of pain and he felt instant regret trying to call after you as you ignored his shouting ,quickly walking out of the party,it wasn't far from your apartment ,so you took of your heels speed walking to your apartment in that moment all you wanted to do was cry,you should've known you were just a fling to him nothing more ,you HATED yourself for getting this attached it's not like hooking up meant anything .....right ? Reaching your apartment Jake was chasing behind you before he ran caching up to you,holding your hand,"Y/n,y/n listen to me please-"you felt yourself getting more and more angry at his words,"Jake leave me the fuck alone now,"he was persistent and you knew that ,he was never one of give up easily,"Look y/n..just one minute-"tears were starting to form in his eyes,voice cracking with every word,despite that you weren't in the mental state to care,scoffing at how he was refusing to comply before pushing him roughly which had him stumbling backwards,"listen to me clearly Jake,stay the fuck away from me if you know what's good for you," You spat out,you weren't gonna break down no,not infront of him,choking back a cry,"Y/n just let me explain-"you'd had enough,"Explain what Jake we aren't a couple or anything do eat you want and go fuck that girl,clearly that's all you do,fuck around with girls like toys right?" He was at a loss for words ,taking that as your cue you walked quickly to your apartment complex heading into the lift to your floor,holding back from breaking down right there,as if you weren't getting enough stares due to your current state.Arriving at your door you locked it behind you,throwing your heels down before sliding down against it ,gripping your hair before you finally broke down,Tears uncontrollably falling and you couldn't help it and just sat there silently crying,not even realising when your eyes shut and you blacked right there on the floor.

As for Jake he ran back to the party looking fo Sunghoon and Jay and Karina too,gathering them in a bed room ,Karina and Sunghoon clearly looking like they'd gotten interrupted from something,"Guys I fucked up fuck fuck fuck," he was pacing back and forth as they all sat on the bed looking at him before Karina asked,"Where is y/n guys..." Jake fell to his knees completely breaking down at the mention of your name,gripping his hair hard nearly pulling it off his head,"Jake what happened,"Karina asked now worried at his state ,it was when his shoulders started shaking that they realised he was crying,Jake had never cried infront of them before,not even you,"I messed up I ruined our friendship I hooked up with someone else knowing I had feelings for her and I didn't know she felt the same ,I thought it was just sex we had to her,"He was speaking mid sobs and Sunghoon and Jay were shocked to say the least Karina already knew,"Where is she now Jake," Karina asked and he said you ran home,Leaving the guys to take care of him wishing them good luck she ran to your place,banging on the door,where you'd passed out on the cold floor,she kept going at it for nearly 15 minutes hearing no response,trying to call your phone kept going straight to voice mail before she called sunghoon telling him to ask Jake for your pass code which sunghoon managed to get it out of him,as he was in the middle of a break down.

Putting in the pass code Karina pushed the door realising you were laying against it ,using all her strength,falling asleep on the cold floor made you jncredibly sick,your body was ice cold as she pulled you up,supporting you as she took you to the couch,looking for warm clothes to dress you in and turning on the heater as she wrapped you in a blanket feeling you warm up she breathed out a sigh of relief ,it was also due to the alcohol that you passed out,calling the guys she told them to not let Jake anywhere near your house for the next few days as your emotions were still strong.

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That was the first night of a miserable week to come,you blocked Jake from your contacts as he tried to spam you and never bothered to charge your phone staying locked up in your house surviving on take out food,heavy eyeballs under your eyes,face puffy from the constant crying,everything kept reminding of you jake,and you didn't want that but couldn't avoid it no matter how hard you tried.As for Jake he was equally miserable ,refusing to leave his dorm room,cutting off all contacts from everyone too,he barely ate,filled with the guilt of hurting you and ruining the friendship you'd built over the years.

Sunghoon ,Jay and Karina were in a dilemma on what to do now.Jake wanted to apologise to you but you wanted nothing to do with him this was confusing them as they tried to look for ways to help both of you without ruining your friendship with the 5 of you and the both of you.

That is until one day you decided you'd give him a chance to explain himself,mostly to rid of your guilt, because you weren't heartless and that was your best friend of nearly 10 years ,ofcourse you'd feel guilty so you decided to clean up a bit before texting Karina,about it towhich she immediately responded saying she'd let the boys know,a bit later she texted you telling you jake agreed ,ofcourse he would, thy asked you to unblock him and you agreed ,half heartedly anyway,texting him to come to your place in an hour.

An hour later you heard your doorbell ring sucking in a deep breathe,before opening the door to find Jake,.....you couldn't even recognise him ,he looked just as miserable as you if not worse and you gasped before he flashed you a smile,it didn't look the same anymore it looked like one filed with pain,"Hey y/n," you moved aside letting him in,"Hi..." he had a bag and handed it to you ,looking inside you saw he'd bought you some of your favorite stuff like ramen and some plushies,and your heart ached more at this gesture,he still cared about you...,dewing yourself tearing up before pulling your hoodie over your head and shutting the door placing the bad on a table before walking towards the couch as he stood there waiting for tour permission and you nodded for him to sit down ,hugging a pillow,awkwardness filled the air,"So...how've you been y/n," you wanted to scoff so bad at him before replying in your naturally sarcastic tone even if you weren't meaning to sound sarcastic,"Miserable if it hasn't been obvious enough,you?" He awkwardly laughed feeling embarrassed now,"The same you could say I guess,"another awkward silence enveloped you two before he cleared his throat deciding to speak up,"So uhm I wanted to talk to you about that day.....are you comfortable with me doing so," you gulped ,chewing on your nails before nodding at him,you couldn't form any words at the time,"That day y/n...im sorry I didn't know I would hurt you this much..."you interrupted him,"No Jake it's fine it's not like we're together-" you started off before he cut you off again,"No y/n it's wrong for me cause I really liked you and still do,"puzzled at his words,you blinked twice before shaking your head no way Jake felt the same for you there was just no way,"You what..."you whispered mostly to yourself,baffled by his words,"Yeah y/n I've liked you for a long time,ever since we joined high-school, this whole fuck boy persona I built up was to distract myself ,you were on my mind 24/7 I couldn't even think about anything else just you and it scared me cause my feelings would probably ruin our friendship,especially since you told me at the time you were crushing on Yang jungwon," he chuckled after,it wasn't out of amusement it was a bitter one ,full of pain as you saw him start to tear up and that made you get emotional too,taking in his state.The jake you always knew well kept,always styled hair,bright smile everyday Jake ,no that was not him this man,infront of you with the red eyes and puffy face ,you made him like this,you were gonna break down right there,hand covering your mouth to hold back a choked sob,standing up as you felt the tears run down your face before walking towards him,looking at your feet as you clenched you fists tears streaming down your face,"C-come here please.." you said holding out your hand for him tostand up,he was confused wondering what you wanted to do,before pulling him into a hug,hugging his waist as you sobbed harder and harder on his chest,Jake had a soft spot for you so seeing you so vulnerable made him break down too,burying his face in your neck as he cried harder there,"W-why didn't you tell me.....i-I like you too.." you choked out in between sobs as he muttered a string of 'Sorry's' pulling you tighter into the hug.

Pulling back after a few minutes of both of you sobbing onto each other you pulled back,hands going to his face as you cupped his cheeks looking up at him ,his hands lowering to your waist.You wiped at his tears with your thumb,"I don't wanna see you cry because of me....I'm sorry for ruining you like this," you tried to hold back more tears,immediately shaking his head,"No no y/nnie I caused this,I'm the one who should be sorry.."letting out a chuckle,"You're so stubborn Jakey ,it's both our faults then," he nodded ,smiling genuinely for the first time the whole week,"So do I get to kiss my girlfriend now?" You playfully hit his chest,"Hey you didnt formally ask,"He sits you down on the couch,before kneeling infront of you,"Y/n will you be my girlfriend,I promise to be the best out there just for you,love?" You pulled him by his face to kiss him as an answer before he crawled onto you laying you down fully on the couch before pulling away,knowing what he was going to ask you answered him,"Yes yes I will be your girlfriend,now kiss me ughhh," he laughed at you before moving back down to attach his lips to yours again,wrapping your hands around his neck as you guys just laid there and made out foe nearly 10 minutes before he pulled off of you and ,heading to the kitchen you both made some ramen to have as you laughed and caught up before he added,"I'm gonna take you out on a proper date soon baby,I love you,"He said coming to peck your forehead.Smiling at his affectionate gesture wrapping your arms around his neck,resting your forehead against his you whispered back,"I love you too Jakey," and shared a kiss which was more of a seal of your promise to never leave each other's side ever.

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𝑴𝒚 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆:𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 <3

[knivestothroats]

The Professionals - Overdraft Fee

(Because it comes after Withdrawals) The Pros Masterlist || ITWS Masterlist || Pro/Vic Masterlist CW: drug addiction/withdrawls, vomiting, hallucinations

Fletcher eased the door open and peered in at Tommy. He was pale and sweaty, squirming in discomfort on top of the bedsheets.

“Hey,” Fletcher shut the door behind them. “How are you doing?”

Tommy’s eyes snapped open to glare at Fletcher, but he held his tongue.

“Drink more water,” Fletcher said, nodding to the still mostly full bottle on his bedside table. “You don't need to ration it. It’ll help with the aches.”

“It’ll help with the aches?” Tommy repeated scornfully. “I can think of something that would help more.”

Fletcher put their hands on their hips. “Okay, I understand that you’re going through it right now, so-”

“You don't understand what I’m going through!” Tommy snapped. Some of the anger dissipated from his features under Fletcher’s cold stare, replaced by fear and misery. He pressed his hands over his eyes. “I’m sorry, just… I can be useful to you if I’m not sick. Please, just… give me something.”

“Look, I can get you methadone tomorrow - probably. You just have to make it ‘til then.”

“I don’t believe that you don’t have anything.”

“Why would I withhold that?”

“No, drugs!” Tommy snapped again. “You have to have something!”

“I never said that I don’t have any painkillers,” Fletcher responded evenly. “I don’t keep recreational drugs in the house, though. So no coke. And no antidepressants, either, although we can… figure that out later if we need to.”

Tommy scoffed. “Maybe you should.”

Fletcher stepped closer. “What?”

Tommy scowled and looked away. “Nothing,” he muttered.

“No, what did you mean?”

Tommy looked at them now, hate burning in his eyes.

“Maybe you should be medicated. Or at least take something that makes you fun to be around, instead of being some sad asshole who lives in the woods out of-”

Fletcher slapped him hard enough to make his head spin. Before Tommy could curl up in a defensive position, Fletcher grabbed his face and brought it close to theirs.

“Out of what?” they hissed.

Tommy averted his eyes and gritted out, “Sorry,” despite still looking pissed.

“No,” Fletcher gave his head a little shake. “Out of what? Tell me what you were gonna say.”

Tommy wasn’t out of his head enough to finish his sentence. He knew it was better to keep his mouth shut. But they were digging their fingers into his cheeks and demanding a response and they weren’t even letting him beg or bargain for pain relief and….

Tommy began to cry, still caught in Fletcher’s grip. He didn’t mean to, but his head was pounding and his body ached and he was hot and cold at the same time and he never stopped feeling like he was on the verge of throwing up and Fletcher wouldn’t even let him do anything to get drugs. They wouldn’t give him anything at all. 

Fletcher made a noise of disgust and released him.

“Give me a shout if you think you’re gonna die,” they said over their shoulder as they stormed out of the room, leaving Tommy alone again.

I just have to get through the break, Tommy kept telling himself. This fever - the withdrawals - they had to break at some point, right? 

God, he missed the internet. WebMD, save me now. He wasn’t sure what would happen, or how long it would take. Would he really die? 

The idea of Fletcher letting him die, purely out of spite, just because they wouldn’t give him drugs, was a funny thought. Funny enough that he laughed about it. It felt like a real possibility, real and close to happening, and he was just snorting and giggling about it on his sweat-soaked sheets. 

Maybe they’ll do it. It might as well happen. He’d had his fun, got to play for a few hours thinking maybe this new life could be okay, could be better. Only to have it snatched away, the dwindling drugs leaving him dying here would be a poignant last kiss goodbye from Caius. He stopped laughing. He laid there in silence and wished things were different. That maybe he could have been someone else.

He hated Caius. He hated Fletcher. To his surprise, Caius visited first. 

Tommy didn’t hear him come in. There was a hand on his face, cradling his chin, another pushing the hair back from his sweaty forehead. He smelled like clean cotton and sandalwood. He was put together as always, beautiful as he was the first day they met. He was wearing that soft linen shirt Tommy liked, that he would rub his cheek on when he pulled it out of the laundry just because it felt nice. So few things in Caius’s home made him feel nice. 

There were no eyes past his clear rimmed glasses, replaced with glowing circles, just like spots in his vision when he’d stared at the sun for too long. The hands on his face were hot, too close, his skin felt unbearably sensitive to his touch - but Caius had come back for him, he wouldn’t let Fletcher leave him to die.

“Caius,” he breathed, and a sob of relief bubbled in his chest. “You - you came back for me.”

“You look awful. Is this any way to behave for one of my friends?” His tone was deceptively gentle, the way it always was, chastising him softly.

“Nooo,” Tommy wheezed, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

“They’re sending you home with me. They don’t want you, either.”

Tommy whimpered, sneaking a peek back at the window, at the sunlight streaming in. He felt a pang of remorse for snapping at Fletcher, after all they’d done for him. Caius’s hands pulled his face back, forcing him to stare back into those hollow eyes.

“It’s okay now Tommy, I can make it stop.”

Tommy clutched at his wrists, needed to feel he was real.

“You can?” The whole room was swimming, and all he could do was drown. 

“Please, please, make it stop, please, I’m so sorry,” he begged. He could go home with him happily if he would just stop the pain.

“What are you sorry for?”

Caius’s voice turned cold. So did his hands, suddenly freezing against his skin. He feared they might stick, like a tongue to a frozen pole. He couldn’t speak. He was frozen, too.

“For ruining everything we had? How about that, Tommy, is that it?”

“Yes,” Tommy gasped, as Caius’s nails grew into talons sharp against his face. “Yes, Caius, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Look at me,” Caius snarled, and he gripped the sides of Tommy’s face, looming in closer. Those fingernails burrowed into his scalp. Tommy couldn’t look away, staring into the blinding suns of Caius’s eyes. It burned a searing pain, his eyes were on fire, but he was paralyzed with fear. Caius pressed his thumbs under Tommy’s eyes, pulling the lower lids down as if to peel them from his face. His fingers were long and needle-like now, the sharp tips hovering only a hair’s breadth away from Tommy’s eyes. 

“I’m going to make sure you never see the sun again,” Caius hissed, and he plunged his armored thumbs into his eyes, turning the whole world black in an explosion of pain. 

Tommy screamed and thrashed. A shadow moved in Caius’s eyes and suddenly he wasn’t there. Forming in his place was Fletcher leaning over him, blocking the harsh glow of his ceiling light.

“Hey, hey.”

The hands on his face were human again. He reached up and grabbed onto Fletcher’s wrists. They felt more real.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he wailed. “I’m sorry for what I said. I don’t want to go back, I don’t want to go back in the dark…”

“Alright, alright, calm down,” Fletcher assured him. “You’re not going anywhere, okay?”

Caius peered down at him from over Fletcher’s shoulder.

“I can make the pain stop if you come home with me,” he promised.

Tommy wanted the pain to stop. He wanted it more than anything. But he knew going back with Caius meant being locked back in the dark, cold basement. He knew he would be trading this pain now for more pain in the future. He had made Caius so angry… but still…

“How could you get rid of me?” Tommy sobbed. “How could you… how could you not even say goodbye… after everything… after everything you did to me…”

Fletcher’s brows knit together as they watched Tommy babble to no one, eyes unfocused and drifting. His body jerked suddenly and he rolled over to throw up into the garbage. 

At least he had the wherewithal not to asphyxiate. Fletcher pushed his hair off his face as he heaved again. He was hot to the touch.

The door opened and Williams poked his head in.

“What’s going on in here?”

“Do you need something?” Fletcher asked impatiently. 

“I heard screaming; are you torturing him or something?”

“Willy, you thought I was torturing him in here and you just walked in?”

Williams bristled. “It’s Billy.”

“What do you want?” Fletcher repeated.

Williams nodded towards Tommy. “What’s the matter with him?”

“He’s going through withdrawals.”

Williams blanched slightly. “Oh, yeah? What, uh, kind of stuff was he on?”

Fletcher sighed and shook their head, watching Tommy spit into the can. “I don’t know. Opioids mostly.”

“Methadone helps with that.”

Fletcher sighed louder. “If I had methadone, I would be using it. I have a hook up, but I can’t get it until tomorrow.”

Williams studied Tommy for a moment. “You buy this guy on the black market or something?”

“…Something like that,” Fletcher conceded. “Last time I’m going to ask you if you need something, otherwise leave.”

Williams put up his hands in surrender and left, closing the door once more. 

Fletcher turned their attention to Tommy again. He seemed to be done retching, and at least wasn’t begging to empty air anymore. 

“Okay, try to stand up.”

Fletcher took Tommy’s arms and gently pulled him up. They put an arm around his waist to guide him onto his feet. Tommy grabbed onto their shirt to steady himself, leaning against them as he wobbled through the first few steps across the room.

“Easy, Model-T,” Fletcher cooed. They kept him steady as they led him to the bathroom and shut the door behind them. 

“Alright, get out of your clothes.”

Numbly, Tommy disrobed, refusing to look at Fletcher. He was sweating and shivering at the same time, too empty to retch again. He was distinctly aware that he was not impressing Fletcher. 

Fletcher looked him over with a clinical eye. They’d noticed the new scar on his face, and some uneven marbling of his skin, but they had assumed them to be more scars, or a skin condition. Whatever it was, it was brought to stark relief with him nude in the bathroom light. He was dappled all over in patchy white marks, so bleached they looked almost translucent. His ribs jutted out, clearly underfed and malnourished from years of neglect. Whatever the hell they had done to him, his body had taken a severe toll. But now was not the time to interrogate him.

“Okay, get in the tub. You can sit if you need to.”

Fletcher turned the water on as they gave the instructions, putting their hand in the stream to check the temperature. 

Tommy teetered as he lifted each leg to step into the tub, and kept a hand on the tiled wall as he lowered himself down. 

“Okay, it’s gonna be cold,” Fletcher warned before pulling the diverter and switching the stream of water to the shower head. 

Tommy flinched as the water hit him. It wasn’t hard, and it wasn’t freezing, but it was a shock against his feverish skin. After a moment, it became a relief, grounding him. 

Tommy leaned against the wall, resting his temple on the tiles. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms under his knees.

“‘M sorry,” he murmured.

“You don’t have to keep saying that,” Fletcher responded, sitting on the closed toilet. “I don’t even think you know what you’re apologizing for.”

“No… I’m sorry you have to do all this for me. I’m sure this isn’t what you wanted… when you bought me.”

Fletcher said nothing.

“I, um,” Tommy swallowed. “I’ll make it up to you. When I’m better.”

Fletcher sighed. “Alright. I’m sure you’ll be cussing me out for not giving you drugs in like ten minutes.”

They both sat in silence for a moment, the only sound the rush of the falling water.

“Are you going to send me back?” Tommy asked in a small voice.

“No.” Fletcher didn’t hesitate.

All things considered - at least until the next wave of pain and nausea hit and the cravings took over his system - Tommy hoped they were telling the truth.

Fletcher stopped the shower before Tommy got too cold. They let him towel off and returned with clean clothes before leading him back to his room. 

“Try to get some sleep. I’ll be back around.”

Sleep wasn’t on the table for Tommy. Not in this state. He tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable.

When the door opened again, it wasn’t Fletcher - it was Williams.

He slipped carefully into Tommy’s room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

“What were you on before?” he asked. “Percs, oxy?”

“I don’t know,” Tommy groaned, turning his head away. “Probably.”

Williams leaned down close. He took hold of Tommy’s chin with two fingers, turning it towards himself and guiding it down. Tommy dutifully opened without much thought. Williams placed something on his tongue.

Tommy’s eyes widened.

It was a pill.

“Don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya.”

Tommy grabbed his water and drank down the pill as Williams slipped out again.

Maybe it was foolish not to spit it out and check what it was. He wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to tell. But at this point, he didn’t really care. He just wanted to feel good enough to return to his chores. 

Whatever happened, he couldn’t lose the light again.

@suspicious-whumping-egg @whumpyourdamnpears @generic-whumperz @lonesome--hunter

@whumplr-reader @theelvishcowgirl @sunshiline-writes @dont-be-gentle-please @galesgallery

@2in1whump @sparrowsage @apokolyps @whumpinggrounds

@morning-star-whump @leviiio @alexmundaythrufriday

@defire @jumpywhumpywriter @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees

@light-me-on-pyre @slightlydisturbedbeans @dislexiher @paperprinxe @desert-dyke

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @burtlederp @whatwasmyprevioususername @cursedandtired

@whump-only @misspelledwitch @redstainedsocks @thehopelessopus @im-just-here-for-the-whump

@thatsthewhump @utopian819 @pretty-face-breaker @thesuffererrrr @victimeyez

[ynmnrmt]

The book hits me in the chest. It doesn't hurt, not really, I don't suppose I can complain about this anyway since I always knew it might turn out like this.

"You do not get to do this to me!" says Rachel, all fiery, as she tackles me to the ground and sends a swooping, weightless sensation down my spine. My heart starts to beat out of control, in fear I expect. "Nobody gets to do this to me! What, did you think I was going to be your good girl?"

This is the wrong response for that teeth-clenched scorn, but I fumble out "Well, not that exactly." I don’t think there really was a right response there, it just makes her angrier. Her nails dig into my arms, it makes whatever nonsense I was going to say next catch in my throat. If she were anyone else I would be thinking of all the ways I could use my bugs to disable them or otherwise get them off me, but this is different, because it is Rachel.

"I fucking hate you, Taylor," she snarls, so close I can feel the heat of her breath in my mouth. "I fucking hate you."

"I don't hate you," I tell her, trying to suppress the tears.

Rachel slumps slightly. For some reason the feeling of her big, sinewy body on top of me makes me think of the time I had sex with Brian, although I don't know why. "No," she sighs, "I don't hate you either." My tears dry up instantly.

"I probably shouldn't be trying to use some stupid book to relate to you better," I confess, it was one of those situations where it would either make everything okay forever or completely ruin things.

"No, well, I probably overreacted, its the sort of thing you do, you – you nerd." Her grip on my arms gets a little looser, but she's still on top of me, weighing me down, my heart's still going like a drum. "There's just something about you that, ugh, you pissed me off so bad, I was about ready to bite you."

"Maybe you should." That just comes right out, she looks as surprised as that as I am. "I mean, this isn't from the book now, but it makes sense, if I did something that pissed you off that much then obviously you'd be tempted to respond that way, so, um, maybe you should. To show there’s no hard feelings. I wouldn't mind."

Her eyebrows narrow, again there's that wonderful swooping feeling where my legs turn to jelly. "This isn’t a trick, is it? You won't go running off and tell the others 'boo hoo, Bitch bit me'?"

"No! No, I would never, this can just be between us."

She grabs my right arm with both hands now, and raises it to her mouth, slowly and methodically as if she's waiting for me to object. Then she sinks her teeth into it, those hard points, her soft lips, I whimper. Then I gasp when she immediately releases me, the relief from a pain I didn’t really feel, and she asks "Are you okay? That wasn't, like, too much?"

"No!" I insist, again it just tumbles out of my mouth with no conscious thought, though I mean it very sincerely. "No, that was great, I mean, fine. I - I think I liked it."

"I, uh," Rachel looks wrong-footed in a way I've never seen her look before, and I yearn to reach out and caress her and hold her in my arms and tell her it's okay, she is my friend after all, but the way she's straddling me I cant get off the ground. I think I like that, too. "I don’t want to hurt you, Taylor. I know sometimes you piss me off, and then I get pissed off, but I don't want to hurt you, not really."

"You're not hurting me, Rachel," I say gently, still doing my best to get across how I want to hold her and caress her and everything. I smile up at her, carefully not not showing my teeth, even though I doubt she'd find that a threat to her dominant status. "Not in any serious way, you're not. In fact, maybe, maybe this could be a relatively healthy way of dealing with it, if I piss you off again. You can just take me aside and give me a little nip," and here she does, playfully, her front teeth pull at the skin of my arm and I wriggle with a deep and heartfelt satisfaction, "and I'll know exactly what you mean and then I'll know not do the thing that upset you in future."

She shakes my arm lightly, with a little "RR-rr", then adds "I don't know, Taylor." Suddenly I realise that yes, she's right to be concerned, this sounds like an incredibly abusive dynamic on the face of it even if from where I'm laying - still trapped between her thighs - it sounds absolutely perfect, and makes me glad we can be such good friends. "Because, the thing is, I'll probably end up biting you a lot."

"That's okay!" I definitely just let that fall out of me without thinking, but even after some consideration I conclude that yeah, it's absolutely fine.

"Just thinking about that book - I'm sorry, it's pissing me off all over again." The colour rises in her cheeks, I desperately hope she will work this out by biting me, maybe a little harder this time. For a moment there is a little struggle, I do not really want to get free of her grasp and she does not want to let me. "Seriously, what was your plan there? Were you going to," for a little moment, the words catch in her throat, "put a collar on me, and tow me around on a leash?" Oh God, that probably is what it would all have been leading up to, I'm about to messily sob out another apology when she says "How would you like it if I did that to you?"

How would I like that? Immediately my heart flutters as I imagine her strong fingers pulling the collar tight around my neck. Not too tight, I'm sure she wouldn't do that, just tight enough so I really feel it, usually I really don’t like those sorts of sensations but I’m mysteriously convinced this would be different. "I don’t know," I whisper, already feeling the tightness, my throat closed up further than I'm completely comfortable with. "Maybe we should try that."

Rachel says nothing, but she immediately gets off me, which is slightly disappointing, and goes rooting about in a chest of drawers. I cling on her elbow, to look through the drawers as well, to help, obviously I would help her do that, she's my friend. "Most of these are flea collars," she says apologetically, "and the chemicals on those would really mess up your," I flush a little, feeling her eyes on my throat, and then she realises what I'm doing and she flushes a little too, "you wouldn't want that, anyway."

"Oh, what about this one?" I say, and pull it out into the light. Its made in old green leather with brass studs, it looks quite classy. If it was black leather it would just look like something from a kinky bondage dungeon, which of course it isn't.

Here it is, a million times more exciting than I could possibly have imagined, as she brings the ends together under my chin. Oh dear, now I think I am showing her my teeth, but she doesn't seem to mind. "You need to say, if it's too tight," she warns me.

"I trust you," I say, it sounds stupid now I've said it, we've spent a few lovely bites establishing that. When she pulls it closed and buckles it on it's perfect, there is just the tiniest amount of pressure, the awareness that it is there and she has done this to me, but I can breathe comfortably and there's no awkwardness with the blood thundering in my jugular.

Rachel slips a finger through the ring on the collar, I don't even think she's very much taller than me but this jerks my head upward anyway. "Maybe we don't need a leash, maybe we could make it work like this," she says, so tenderly, her other hand grasps my arm again and she has me completely under her control, she might have a point. But then she lets me go and goes back in the drawers, and before long, there it is, she clips the end onto the collar and she officially has me leashed. "So," she declares, all boisterous again in a way that makes me weak at the knees, I like her so much and she's such a good friend, "what did your stupid fucking book say to do now?"

"I don't know," I say. "I haven't read it, I wanted to be sure you were okay with it before I seriously tried to use any of its ideas on you. I thought it would be incredibly disrespectful if I didn't do that."

Rachel's hard eyes turn liquid. With one hand holding the leash steady in place, her other strokes my cheek. I am so incredibly glad we are still friends, after all this, and suddenly I realise what it is, I'm not in control here, I have given her control and I've done it willingly and I feel good about it. Then she says "Give me a woof."

"Woof! Bark!" I say out loud, and drop to my knees, if there was any possible way that I could wag my tail I would do it now. Rachel laughs, I rub my muzzle, or rather my mouth, against her hand.

"Good girl," she intones, and for her to say that makes me feel so wonderful, I know how she feels about cutesy expressions like that, and to have her say it to me, so light-heartedly, it doesn't even matter how I feel about it, I am only glad I can make her happy.

"Did you think I was going to be your good girl?" I repeat her words back to her, I think we're at a point where that can be lighthearted - and it is, she laughs again, after having seen her so angry it is indescribably wonderful that she is so happy. I wish there was a special button I could press to do this for her, but then, I try and calm myself down, this is what it is to interact socially and to have a friend like Rachel. There isn't some simple solution for this, it is a constant ever-correcting ballet, showing her again and again that she is my friend and I trust her and I want her to be happy. Then she presses the button to retract the leash, and it jerks me upward out of my dog act, straight up against her. I worry I have overstepped a boundary, I can feel her heart throb in her chest, the taste of her breath in my mouth again. For some reason I want her to press the button again and drag me in closer. "Woof," I say again, not even sure what I mean by it.

"Yeah," she exults, so smug and satisfied I could melt right here, I would be a puddle on the floor if she wasn't practically holding me up. "Keep woofing for me."

"No, you'll have to train me," I have absolutely no idea where this has come from, but how bad could her training process possibly be? Her giving me treats, and telling me no? Oh no, I think I want her to train me to woof when she says more than anything else in the world. I want to woof for her, I want her to make me woof, and just as that too is about to slip out of me like an oyster suddenly she tilts her head slightly - Oh God, something gives way in my underwear, it doesn't seem like I've peed myself but that is the only possible explanation for how wet I suddenly feel – but instead of what I thought would happen there she draws me in close and throws my hair aside so she can give my ear a little nip. I squirm, my vision blurs, I never want it to end.

When she lets go I feel the urge to chase after her, as if she’s a stick thrown for me, a magnificent red-haired stick. Fumbling over the words, clearly brute-forcing out a sentiment that doesn’t quite come naturally but is clearly there, she tells me.“You taste good.”

"You feel good," I insist, unsure how to deal with that lovely compliment except by turning it straight back onto her. "And, if this is what's come of me getting that stupid book, I'm sort of glad I did." I just keep pressing the sore spots, don't I? No wonder she was tempted to bite me, and yes, now she does again, on my cheek, my ear, my shoulder, every time it makes me that little bit weaker in the knees.

“Pff! God, you have too much hair,” Rachel growls, when she spits out multiple tresses I see what she means. But once she’s gotten them out of the way she squeezes me between her teeth and I hope it leaves a mark, and then that turns into "I probably should have known you just wanted to be nice to me. For whatever stupid reason you have."

"I'm glad," oh God, I can feel myself starting to well up, it's just too much, "I'm glad I've got you, here, to tell me where I went wrong."

"Well,” she says, pondering over it, "probably no harm in pointing out that normally my dogs wouldn't be wearing clothes."

"Oh! You're right! Woof." I gladly raise my arms and Rachel lifts my shirt, I giggle when it has to go over the leash as well. As it comes free it knocks my glasses askew – I raise my hand to fix them, but Rachel’s doing that already. Then I undo my trousers and they fall down as if lubricated. Normally I'd feel incredibly vulnerable being in my underwear in front of someone fully clothed, and I do, but I also feel completely safe and strangely contented, if a little cold, just a little.

"Those too," Rachel inclines her head at me. If we weren't such good friends I'd have said her tone was permeated with a kind of hungry desire.

"I'm shy," I tease, it's not really a lie.

With one sharp motion she pulls me in close again, yes, I'm not cold any more, and as her teeth close gently on my neck I feel her reach up my back and fumble with my bra strap. I'm quite glad she didnt unhook it in one go, I'm enjoying the process and would like it to last as long as possible. Perhaps she gets that too, because when she has uncooked it she doesn't pull it off immediately, just stands there holding it open, and stops biting me to say with desperate awkward sincerity “You �� are comfortable with this?”

“Yes!” Even the words are starting to sound like little barks, but it’s so incredibly, gloriously refreshing to be able to be completely honest with her – with anyone, although especially with her. Suddenly buying the book seems so stupid, stupider even than when I was worried it would make her never want to speak with me again. Why learn about dog psychology when you can just be the dog? “And I hope you’re comfortable with it, too,” I add quickly.

“Yeah,” she says, slightly baffled. But that just lasts for a moment, and then she smiles at me again, and it’s like the sun coming up. I shrink down in the face of all that warmth, my knees haven’t completely gone but something about having her tower over me seems so natural and wonderful, and then I hug her around her waist, feeling the dog hair on her t-shirt up against my cheek. She pets me and really shakes my head around as she does it, rougher than she was with me before, it makes me feel like part of the pack.

“I know what else a dog would do,” I say, slightly breathlessly.

“Yeah?” says Rachel – and then I scamper behind her, the leash laps around her legs, and I start sniffing. This probably would be a bit strange in any other circumstances, but right now, I’m basically just saying hello. Oh God, that’s it, her wonderful smell, wet dog and pine needles and that little tang of her sweat. A dog probably wouldn’t have their hands up on her hips to do this, but I don’t think that matters.

“Your jeans fit really well,” I tell her. It’s quite hard not to notice.

“Thanks. They’re from, uh, Goodwill.” I keep sniffing at them, I’m fairly sure she had them on yesterday too, which is good, she’s started to permeate them a bit, I’m smelling her and not just her clothes. I end up enjoying the experience so much that before I know it my face is resting on the denim, and I feel her underneath it, all that muscle but still so soft.

“Taylor…”

I jerk out of this stonewashed blue reverie. “Oh! I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, if you were a dog I’d say you were being very friendly.”

“Well, good.”

“I bet your book didn’t even think of this.” Then I pad back around in front of her, and look up obediently. For a moment, her face tightens up – then she lets out a burst of uncontrollable laughter, and I’m really glad to see her suddenly get so loose and carefree like this. This is exactly the result I had hoped to get. She gets down with me, onto one knee, and says “Sorry,” as she fusses my hair, I close my eyes and lean into it, “you looked really funny.” Would that be wounding, in some universe? It’s hard to see how, objectively crawling around on the floor being a dog does seem quite funny.

“Woof,” I say. Rachel immediately tenses up with a suppressed giggle. “Don’t worry about it. I like having you training me.”

“This isn’t so much training you, it’s more like I tell you what to do and you do it.” When Rachel says this, I panic slightly at the thought I’m doing it wrong. She fusses my hair with both hands, which does reassure me. “No, it’s okay. Oh, I think I might have something for this.”

Rachel goes back to her drawer, I follow again, although down on all fours this time I can’t see what she’s after.

“I got given this,” she explains, “I’d never actually use it for training dogs, but now seems like the perfect time.” And she spritzes me with a squirt bottle, square in the face. I squeal, I should probably try to communicate dismay but really I’m just laughing. I go to back away, but since that’s absolutely the last thing I could possibly want I simply drop to the ground. Rachel stands across me, spraying me over and over, and as I look up at her square face and broken nose from below, as well as catch a little splash of her bare tummy under her shirt, I realise what I’ve been feeling all this time – it’s jealousy, that’s it, I’ve been feeling jealous of how heartbreakingly beautiful she is. “Bad girl! Bad girl!”

“Woof! Bark!” I get slightly more frantic as she coats my face with moisture, without even meaning to I grip her legs, to make absolutely sure I don’t somehow fall away. Finally, at long last, Rachel really seems to be enjoying herself, and I try not to feel too pleased with myself for having brought that about – I don’t care anyway, not really, the more important thing is the connection I’ve made with her. Not too long ago I wouldn’t even have thought something like that was possible.

The door handle rattles, it startles me but I am very secure where I am here. Rachel jumps a little too. Suddenly Lisa is framed in the doorway, absolutely astounded, her eyes flickering back and forth between us. “What’s going on?” she asks.

Rachel hesitates. I understand that all too well, it seemed so obvious and natural between the two of us, but having to explain it to someone else is strange and awkward. So I pick up the cue, and explain to Lisa, quite simply, “She’s making me wet!”

i'll say it. if wildbow wasn't a fucking coward he'd have made Taylor trying to train Rachel into being a Good Dog a central plot point but instead we were just straight up robbed and this book never comes up again

[reinanova]

i have a few scenarios for you to consider

~~~

character: “i’m not straight”

fandom*: mmmm but what if you were

~~~

character: is bisexual in the comics

fandom: well, character isn’t explicitly stated to be bi in the movies, therefore character is straight

~~~

writer: yeah character is pan and has a dating history with all genders (and this wasn’t shown bcuz of xyz)

fandom: well, it doesn’t matter what the writer says, character is straight bcuz they’ve only dated the opposite gender on screen

~~~

character: is gay (either implied or explicitly stated to be homosexual and homoromantic)

fandom: well, maybe they’re homosexual but heteroromantic**, therefore i’m only going to ship this character with the opposite gender

~~~

character: is a lesbian

fandom: well, lesbians can still have sex with men therefore i’m going to write f/m smut with this lesbian and a man. not as a “figuring out/exploring my sexuality” fic but just bcuz i can

~~~

queer community: hey this character is canonically queer, could you please be respectful of that?

fandom: how about you go fuck yourselves. this is so embarrassing to be asking for respectful representation, literally shut the fuck up

~~~

character: is canonically gay

fandom: well you can’t prove he’s not attracted to women so he’s straight actually

~~~

disclaimers:

* i’m talking about a fandom as a whole in this post, not a couple individuals who may do this. this is talking about if a large chunk (think half or more) of a fandom is ignoring a canon queer identity

** no hate to someone who may identify this way. if someone is this identity, kudos to them, but people shouldn’t just use this as an excuse to ignore someone’s queer identity

this is how you sound when ignoring aspec*** identities. do you hear how ridiculous this is?

*** aspec (the way i use it at least) includes the asexual spectrum (ace-spec) and aromantic spectrum (aro-spec). also your friendly reminder that people can be aro and not ace and vise versa but you can’t ignore one or the other to suit your fancy

there will probably always be people doing this (re: ignoring canon queer identities) in fandoms, however, not in mainstream and popular ships and not to the extent that aspec identities are erased. bcuz if you have a problem with the above scenarios but not when the character is aspec, an already basically invisible identity, you need to re-examine your thinking and deal with your hypocrisy

do you know how hard it is to prove a LACK of something? even if someone straight up says, “i experience zero sexual or romantic attraction to anyone,” someone else will be like, “well how do you know you just haven’t found the right person yet?”

is the idea that someone doesn’t want a romantic or sexual relationship that difficult to understand?

if you want to see your identity represented in a character headcanon, great! but do so in a way that doesn’t negate another marginalized and underrepresented canon identity

there are SO! MANY! straight characters at your disposal. use one of them for your queer headcanons until we reach the point where your identity is canon. then you’ll probably be fighting for representation the same way i am right now

it also sucks to see fighting within the aspec community. bcuz yes aro and ace identities are a spectrum. however, when there’s a singular character with an aspec identity, you physically cannot showcase that spectrum. so if an ace character is sex-favorable, allos will believe all ace people are sex-favorable and ignore aces who are not. same thing for sex-repulsed aces and so on. the only solution is to fight for more aspec representation so everyone can see themselves in media without sacrificing parts of an aspec identity to fit how you identify

i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired of fighting for an ounce of representation. this should not be an uphill battle for people to accept aspec characters. i shouldn’t have to fight the queer community and straight people for this

[byoldervine]

Been seeing a lot of ‘don’t tell people that their first draft is supposed to suck’ posts lately and I want to make it extra clear for anyone with literal thinking or who may otherwise have been lead under any impression otherwise;

What any advice-giver worth their salt should mean when they say this is “Don’t worry about getting it perfect on the first draft, it’s not obligated to be the best work you could ever make it right off the bat”

For a lot of people the first draft is often the worst draft, and as such we tend to jump to reassuring people that their first draft is meant to be that way, to assure them that it’s not a true reflection of the quality of their writing skills - but that doesn’t mean that it’s the same for everyone, and many people absolutely adore their first drafts, myself included

Because let’s be honest; the first draft isn’t inherently bad. Many are actually incredible, in fact! Sometimes editing isn’t to fix something, it’s just to refine it; sand off the edges and paint on a last coat of polish. It doesn’t mean that what you have isn’t good, and I’d bet money that even the writers who think their first drafts are abominations have written some amazing first drafts

And the idea that your first draft has to be bad because you didn’t suffer the whole time you worked on it? I want to promise you something; the more you enjoy creating it, the better the story will be. You’ll be more creative and imaginative and your readers will feel the love and care pouring out of every word. Nobody wants to read something that nobody wanted to write. There are very, very few ways to write wrong, and the biggest one is to not overall enjoy it

The term ‘suffer for your art’ gets thrown around a lot, and the way I interpret it is that you should be willing to persevere with your passions even when it becomes difficult, as well as learning from your experiences and allowing them to shine through in your work. This means knowing when to take a break when it’s no longer fun, then coming back to it when you’re next in the right headspace to do so, not that you need to push through burnout or god forbid hate the entire process of writing

The number one rule of creative writing, or any form of art, is to have fun. The process can be long and challenging and stressful, and you’re bound to hit a rough patch at least once, if not many more times, just like with any long-term project. But if you’re not ultimately enjoying the process, what’s the point? Suffering for your art does not mean that art is suffering

Write for fun. Enjoy the process, even if you don’t enjoy every step of it. Suffering for your art doesn’t mean hating it. You’re allowed to like your first draft, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Your first draft may very well be your worst draft, as the nature of drafting goes, but your worst is still good and worth loving and enjoying. Anyone who tells you that any first draft is inherently bad either has a different take on the meaning of the phrase or is sadly misinformed. And even if something is inherently bad doesn’t make it unenjoyable or unlovable, or vice versa

[smootnytechnik]

The roadtrip of winners - chapter 2 (fragment)

This one is kind of a beast, but I hope you like it!

Joel jolted back as the engine started fuming again. The dark smoke gave off the scent of... Blood, for whatever reason. But not only that. Could one call something a scent of... Sadness? Anger?

"I ain't dealing with that" the man huffed and immediately closed the car's mask. His eyes trailed up to Cleo, who hesitated whether she should follow Scott. "Hey, give him some time... He needs to figure it out himself, I think."

Venus quietly chuckled.

"I thought you hated Scott... Why didn't you say something like 'I hope the others beat up his stupid ass?'"

"Good point" Joel muttered, scratching his chin with the wrench. He usually hated Scott's guts... But this one time, he didn't. He actually wanted the man to feel better. He wanted all of the players to feel better. To figure out what went wrong between them and make amends. To actually enjoy their roadtrip. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

"You changed" Cleo snickered under their breath.

"Shut up!"

"What? I'm right! Winning changed us all, didn't it?"

Venus gestured to the other players. They were either too busy arguing, ignoring each other or going through a mental breakdown to acknowledge the conversation. Maybe there was something to what Cleo said... As far as Joel could remember, they were never like... This. Never this antagonistic towards each other. Never this... Upset. Mad. Frustrated. Unable to talk to each other normally for five minutes, without blowing up at the slightest inconvenience. They did change... But did that mean that Joel changed as well? Usually, he'd be the first to blow up at them. Not this time, however. Despite getting mad at them for not listening to him, it was mostly for the sake of their own safety or comfort. He was usually the angry one... But not this time. This time, he seemed to be the sensible one of the group. And that felt... Strange.

"Admit it... You don't know where we were goin'" Cleo asked, twirling a lock of their thick, fiery hair on their fingers.

"No... No, I don't. I just wanted to cheer these idiots up..." Joel rolled his eyes with a resigned expression "But look at them fight. It's not gonna work, is it?"

"One roadtrip is not gonna just fix everything, I guess" she shrugged. "Healing is not easy... You have to be ready to get your hands dirty, if you wanna make this stuff work. The question is, do you think it's worth it?"

[iwoszareba]

of lab days and someone else's memories

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[lovelywingsart]

I'm just saying, if the chance was given to romance him, Saren would hold Shepard like they're the most precious fucking thing in the entire goddamn universe even though they kicked his ass twice and would easily do so again.

They may not entirely change his mind on his views of humanity but they changed his views on them, and he wouldn't take that for granted.

Shepard would become the most important thing to him and losing them would utterly destroy him, and you absolutely will not change my mind.

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

I just find it mind-boggling that some people will reblog things like “Anakin didn’t care about Rex and his men, he wouldn’t listen to Fives just because he was friends with Palpatine” and then in the next post be gushing over Rexwalker/Rexanidala like???? so you agree. Anakin does care about Rex?

[thetisming]

im actually really worried that im not that interested in &j anymore like ivd been having a hard time writing about it and talking about it online and i mean i talk about it a lot irl but idk like people have been knowing more than me and im starting to feel so incredibly inferior that it's hard for me to enjoy it

[maeamian]

Anyhow happy birthday to my long departed grandfather, gramps you woulda loved the results coming out of Hyabusa 2 and OSIRIS-REx.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.

[bibiana112]

There's nothing wrong with people having their dearest most specialest blorbo be Eric ztd it is unironically good for the ecosystem and I always love seeing the different perspectives from other fans but what I am here today to ask is why is no one like that about Mira. whatever happened to feminism.