#hate being sick this is so frustrating
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
silvercaptain24 · 1 month ago
Text
Hhggggggggggggggggghhhh…
4 notes · View notes
potassiumprincess · 7 months ago
Text
i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes
2K notes · View notes
battywitch · 2 months ago
Text
I just can't believe that zero pain is the normal amount to be in
#i literally can not remember ever having no pain and it's entirely possible i have been in pain since before birth#usually it's just distracting and makes it so i can't do what i want/need to#but on worse days i can not stop thinking about the pain and i can barely get out of bed for food and such#i feel like such a lazy useless pile of steaming shit right now#i haven't even done anything particularly strenuous#like. sure i had a bad phase with migraines and not sleeping and then pmdd and menstrual hell and the hurricane#and mixed into that i might have pushed myself physically a few times#and if i were anyone else i would be advising the exhausted person to just let themselves rest a bit#but i can not stop thinking about everything that needs to be done#and how much worse other disabled people have it#and how my partner isn't able to rest because they're working overtime hurricane related shifts#and i can't get the voices of my family out of my head about how lazy disabled people are#(but then they'll also accuse people of faking disability if the disabled person pushes themselves)#i hate this and i hate myself and it's infuriating to keep trying to make myself more normal#but it doesn't work and i just keep ending up feeling even more exhausted when i try to start working out (yoga and squats and such)#if I'd had covid and was dealing with long covid I'd understand and maybe be more forgiving#but this started way before covid 19 (which i haven't had afaik) and only got worse after i had shingles#i am so angry and so sick of being exhausted all the time#... it's a bad fatigue and not great pain time and I'm emotional and so fucking frustrated
8 notes · View notes
sapphicautistic · 3 months ago
Text
my partner's family is 100% how i'm going to get covid
12 notes · View notes
auphelia · 18 days ago
Text
-
#tw vent#ah yes logging back into tumblr to yeet this and then going#i will persevere i will persevere i will persevere i will persevere#i've never felt this much like an alien in my entire fucking life and that's saying something from someone who was excluded in primary#school and has been since (regularly called devil spawn as well isn't it lovely)#i'm sick and tired of this#i never planned to make it past 18 but i did it regardless out of sheer fucking spite and will and wanting it to get better#and here i am six years later and just as miserable#except this time i won't have to spend weeks discreetly hoarding a stash because i never threw it out#and i know that's not the thing to do and that i should continue to press on and all that and believe it will get better but like#at this point i'm not sure if; even if things do get better that i'll even be in a position to appreciate it?#i feel fucking broken and i have been so utterly numb for most of my life#i don't know how to make friends and even less about how to keep them#i've spent my entire life trying to fit in and getting mocked and bullied for being weird#i adapt personality traits of everyone around me for the sake of never risking upsetting anyone or putting myself at chance of ridicule#i don't even know who i am at this point- i don't think i've ever known myself because by the time i became a teen#i was already hurting myself just so i could get some of my frustration out without making a scene or trouble anyone#it took six years for anyone to notice; six fucking years and even then all i was met with was anger#i hate being excluded and i hate being left out and people keep doing it and i keep doing it to myself#because i don't want to be here anymore but i don't want to hurt anyone so i remove myself from social relations so no one will miss me#i feel so fucking alone and it's all my own fault and i'm so scared to do anything about it#how can anyone want to spend time with someone who doesn't even know themselves? i'm a mess i'm sorry i needed to process my thoughts#but i guess i'll persevere#my cat needs me to#tw suicidal ideation#tw self harm
4 notes · View notes
sherlock-is-ace · 6 months ago
Text
.
#i'm done i'm so fucking tired#i want to burn the internet to the ground#i want to destroy my computer chuck my phone into a river and go live in the middle of nowhere#no wifi no 4g no nothing#i want to die because we cannot fucking escape this shit#meta using my art to train ai and refusing my request to stop#my computer not being able to run glaze or nightshade or any of those ai poisoning thingies#spam emails and text messages and whatsapp messages and bots in the comments#and just EVERYTHING TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHILE ALSO STEALING WHAT'S ALREADY MINE#i hate it i hate it i can't fucking stand it anymore#and you'll be like ''then why don't you go offline then... nobody's making you have an instagram account''#and you'd be right... if it weren't for the fact that i chose the one fucking career that DEMANDS online presence#i already struggle to find work as an illustrator WITH social media and POSTING MY ART ONLINE#how the fuck would I do it if people don't see my art?!#and sure people have illustrated books way before the internet existed... sure... BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT ANYMORE#i'm so fucking angry and tired and frustrated that there's no way out of this#the internet is becoming unusable yet life demands it#my only option right now it to fuck myself and my beliefs and let companies steal my hardwork for the benefit of..?#having no notes in my posts except for the bots commenting ''see 👀my hole 🍑 daddy 💦 kitten 😻 ready 4 u 🤤 subscribe🔥 pay 💲 me''#i'm sick of this#i don't want to delete everything i ever posted online because A. at this point that's useless and B. again. how the fuck would i get work?#also even then... emailing my clients their finished illustrations goes through google drive or gmail...#do we think google is nice and doesn't steal images to train generative AI?#''talk to your representatives they need to make laws about this'' my fucking president is currently chumming it up with elon fucking musk#while people here are starving to death#we're literally going to freeze this winter because the genius goverment has fucked up our gas supply and that's used not only for heating#but for ELECTRICITY PRODUCTION#so we won't have a wat to heat our houses cook or even fucking SEE AT NIGHT#and you want me to ask them to make copyright laws?!#i want to die
8 notes · View notes
blaithnne · 1 year ago
Text
so I’m realising my intense anxiety for Hilda’s third season to come out is PROBABLY an autism thing
#like. it’s been 2 years of it being the same#the fandoms been in the same place and the show has too#and now it’s gonna change and it is giving me so much anxiety#when the special interest is so intense that you feel physically ill at the thought of new content because it’s just so overwhelming#<- that’s not my usual exaggerated ‘I’m so unwell’ thing either like I have layed awake at night feeling#sick LMAO#bc of s3#which is so frustrating because I’m excited! I love this show! I want more!#but because it’s so important to me. new content is going to have a big effect on me#and I don’t want it too cries#does that make sense? no? sick#it’s either an autism thing or there’s just something wrong with me either way I’d like this feeling to go away please it isn’t fun#hilda#textpost#it’s like I just want it to come out already so I can watch it and know what’s happening cause I hate not knowing what’s going on#i need to have. my information organised#and rn I don’t#and that makes me rlly anxious lolz#like I’m anxious for season 3 in a good excited way#but also in a geniunley bad way#I wish my brain was. normal lo#l#this got more venty than I meant it to sorryblads#might delete later#I’m sad hilda is ending bc it’s over and I don’t want it to be but#also it’s weirdly comforting to know that I don’t have to go through this intense anxiety again#cause I don’t get like this with other fandoms! dr who for example I’m living new content#but for Hilda I geniunkey feel unwell#it’s the same with the idea of there ever being new ducktales content#I care so much that it’s. bad for me lol??
23 notes · View notes
martyrbat · 1 year ago
Text
so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!
#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency#adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid#then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!!#everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others#rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you#make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing#or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult#yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred#like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn#so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you#anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds#so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask#like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and#his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking#doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie#and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it#(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me!#and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead!#and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is.#but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’#like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid#who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it.#i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow#anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness
32 notes · View notes
byrdtrollsunoreversearchive · 9 months ago
Text
girl help my need to make money and work a job while at the same time finishing college has left me no time for the art I love and constantly exhausted n distant from all my friends
8 notes · View notes
zaacoy · 1 year ago
Text
being pelted with drawing ideas at a pace so rapid I could not hope to keep up with is both an inspiring blessing and a horrible curse
22 notes · View notes
scarletanpan · 2 months ago
Text
If u wanna know why I hate ai to the core of my soul it's bc the industry has claimed this is some new technological revolution for 4 yrs while ppl have been screaming since the beginning abt the amt of energy consumed by training/usage and its environmental impacts, while companies and governments have only continued to fight harder over obtaining the processors necessary to implement it into their own systems for. Useless features that only make navigating the internet harder or for military technologies that are actively being used for further genocide and oppression
While half the south is underwater over a devastating hurricane not too long after one 2 yrs ago. While this year had one of the hottest summers, actively killing so many ppl and animals. Like idk anyone else think changing weather patterns due to rising temperatures might be exacerbated by the fact that the company where the leading ai chips are made is on track to generate more energy than all of the homes in Taiwan by next year. Or that every single computer doing ai and crypto shit all over the world is also wasting boundless energy thats heated up the planet in who knows how many ways
We are killing the planet and each other bc we want an algorithm to questionably reproduce work we can do ourselves. And its all bc companies don't give a shit abt having no use case for this technology and will force it onto their platform, might even make u pay extra bc ai is the future to them and nothing else matters. Making profits off the mysticism of ai is exactly why so many ppl use it and do Not know it can just. Lie to u. Or that generating responses and images takes much more energy than any google search (which now does the same shit since we need ai answers for basic search engines apparently) We're at the point where so many ppl admit to using it daily, like wow love seeing capitalism genuinely ruin the world. U can't get off the internet and go outside bc its actively uninhabitable half the time, and now the internet is impossible to navigate w/o losing more time than ever before or u end up sucked in by reactionary content and even j scrolling past ads only benefits advertisers it's just. I want a lot of ceos dead tbh
2 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months ago
Text
...
#sometimes i find the degree to which i cannot concentrate very alarming#like bro i canno read. i have so much to do but i wanna sleep forever#i just have to get up and go somewhere else. normally id go transfer algae or run but im stuck inside and .y fingers r all cold#usually its just in the morning that I get thr high distress so its prob the meds#but yesterday was kinda fucked. ugh.i just need to run around but i cant#i have such a sinister combo of: brain stops me from being able to b productive and if im not productive i am compelled to do horrible#things. mood issues and 0cd is horrible. horrible feedback loop#i just wish i could breathe. itll b fine. eventually itll b summer again and itll b fine#its like someone's squeezing my throat. like im sick but i kno its just that im anxious#i was doing so well the past few days in terms of reading and productivity despite the distress#and im trying to b kind and roll with the punches but its so hard#like i kno i need to relax and not resist bc resistance makes it worse but it's just hard and im worried this is how itll always b#i wish i could go back on lamicta1. i felt way better on low dose of that then i do on low dose of abi1ify. its so hard to stay on this#just bc of how my head works. and like things were complicated with the lamicta1. maybe i wouldnt habe had a reaction if i didnt get a#tatto0 while upping the dose but now im marked as allergic so i prob wont b allowed to try any of thr anti convulsive type antidepressants#ugh. i hate this. its so frustrating#unrelated
11 notes · View notes
fappellmoan · 11 months ago
Text
i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
10 notes · View notes
jrueships · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
tbh tho i think my art is fugly af LMFAO
#not in a '>w< eeeek! i wish i could drawww 🥺 i can only cobble such measle crap with my lowly peasant paws.. *unveils mona lisa*'#sense but like a my style makes me want to hurl whenever i look at it bcs it's a constant reminder that it can only be what i can make it be#and bcs it looks bad to me then that means i cant make things look good if u get my sense like#idk man 😭!! im just sick of being scribbly!! and not clean! i wanna ink my art! have crisp lines! dark lines!!#not have to put stupid darkening filters on everything bcs i cant color or shade so my art is just stuck with the blinding white background#well the frustration is more how i CAN color and shade.. i CAN ink my lines with a darker one#lets not excuse my laziness now cmon ted omg dumbass bitch#it's just that doing so makes me . crazy#my attention span like. crumbles when i try to add color or ink over lines bcs thats Such a commitment to me#i HATE leaving things unfinished when it seems so monumental#like unfinished sketches or prompts? fine. those are sketches. little prompts. even if u post it it's shit#but starting big things is a COMMITMENT.. with CONSEQUENCES ! ! i just want to avoid them ig#it's like im stuck between art being a fun lil past time and being a perfectionist actually so no. no it is not#but also i NEED to draw i NEED to write SOMETHING! SOMETHING!! then i realize the weight of things and purposefully hinder myself#then later hate myself for hindering even tho it felt so good and right in the beginning ORGHH or WHATEVER#idk one of my friends told me my style reminded them of the new tmnt movie (which has been praised yeah#for like beautiful ugliness tho) and like. i KNOW it's a compliment... but. why did it make me Feel 😭 like i wanted to rip my art 2 shreds#once i lined my art and my friend (an artist i admire) said smthin like 'omg finally! ted lined art! gorgeous!'#& i KNOW. I KNOW IT'S A COMPLIMENT. BUT WHY AM I THINKING LIKE. SO VIOLENT. NOT ABT THEM. BUT MY SHIT NOW#like UGHHH i just HATE feeling trapped and helpless when actually theres help available but im just DUM!! JUST LINE UR ART TED#art is like playing sport is like making good grades is like working well is like being a good friend is like being a good person#literally. just be GOOD.#it's all a performance to me ARGHARGH! I HATE THE JOKER! I HATE BEING CRINGE@! RAGGHH I HATE THIS SHIT#<- mfs when no basketball#mfw i cannot avoid enlightenment via the meaningless distractions i codepently craveRAGGHG!!!!!!1!
12 notes · View notes
silent-sentinels · 3 months ago
Text
THIS COLLEGE IS STRAIGHT EVIL I THINK??
3 notes · View notes
thnksfrthmmrs · 3 months ago
Text
my coworker has either called out or left early every day for at least two weeks and has missed even more days in the less than two months she’s been here and i see her car in the lot. can she just quit already
3 notes · View notes