#hass husbands

[insert-stupid-username]

[imsorryimlate]

Intermezzo (1936)

[nanahachi3]

Just Stray Kids Hard Thoughts!

The poll for my stray kids hard thoughts I am back at writing them! So choose which one you want to read I got inspiration from @pixie-felix.

I will tag you! Just vote for the one you want to read. If you want to be tagged drop a comment on my anon box

Just Bang Chan teaching you a lesson because you are inexperienced in sex and you need Some private Lessons before you perform on the stage.

Just Lee Minho trying out new kitten lingerie on you that he ordered and playing with your kitty as it looks so pretty in that lacy panties with a bow that you wore.

Just Changbin making you feel good after you felt insecure in your body from day to night he is here to worship your body.

Just Hyunjin eating and sucking onto your clit because he was deprived of the pussy for three days because he was out on tour and he Hass come home with his new buzz cut you are here to ride on his face since his hair looks so pretty and he served cunt.

Just Han loving your boobs as you ride on his dick and he is moaning mess underneath you.

Just Felix being a dominant person since he is your stepbrother and you both are hiding in your bedroom as he fucks the hell out of you!

Just Seungmin teaching his mean brat a lesson because you wore glasses while studying and he can't control his Hardness anymore.

Just jeongin trying to convince you that he is old enough to be your husband and can take care of you he wants you to be pregnant with his child since he can't control his breeding kink anymore.

[soracities]

what are your suggestions for starter poetry for people who dont have strong reading/analysis backgrounds

I've answered this a few times so I'm going to compile and expand them all into one post here.

I think if you haven't read much poetry before or aren't sure of your own tastes yet, then poetry anthologies are a great place to start: many of them will have a unifying theme so you can hone in based on a subject that interests you, or pick your way through something more general. I haven't read all of the ones below, but I have read most of them; the rest I came across in my own readings and added to my list either because I like the concept or am familiar with the editor(s) / their work:

Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times (ed. Nick Astley) & Being Alive: The Sequel to Staying Alive (there's two more books in this series, but I'm recommending these two just because it's where I started)

The Rattlebag (ed. Seamus Heaney and Ted Hughes)

The Ecco Anthology of International Poetry (ed. Ilya Kaminsky & Susan Harris)

The Essential Haiku, Versions of Basho, Buson and Issa (ed. Robert Hass)

A Book of Luminous Things (ed. Czesław Miłosz )

Now and Then: The Poet's Choice Columns by Robert Hass (this may be a good place to start if you're also looking for commentary on the poems themselves)

Poetry Unbound: 50 Poems to Open Your World(ed. Pádraig Ó'Tuama)

African American Poetry: 250 Years of Struggle and Song (ed. Kevin Young)

The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing (ed. Kevin Young)

Lifelines: Letters from Famous People about their Favourite Poems

The following lists are authors I love in one regard or another and is a small mix of different styles / time periods which I think are still fairly accessible regardless of what your reading background is! It's be no means exhaustice but hopefully it gives you even just a small glimpse of the range that's available so you can branch off and explore for yourself if any particular work speaks to you.

But in any case, for individual collections, I would try:

anything by Sara Teasdale

Devotions / Wild Geese / Felicity by Mary Oliver

Selected Poems and Prose by Christina Rossetti

Collected Poems by Langston Hughes

Where the Sidewalk Endsby Shel Silverstein

Morning Haiku by Sonia Sanchez

Revolutionary Letters, Diane di Prima

Concerning the Book That Is the Body of the Beloved by Gregory Orr

Rose: Poems by Li-Young Lee

A Red Cherry on a White-Tiled Floor / Barefoot Souls by Maram al-Masri

Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky

Tell Me: Poems / What is This Thing Called Love? by Kim Addonizio

The Trouble with Poetry by Billy Collins (Billy Collins is THE go-to for accessible / beginner poetry in my view so I think any of his collections would probably do)

Crush by Richard Siken

Rapture / The World's Wife by Carol Ann Duffy

The War Works Hard by Dunya Mikhail

Selected Poems by Walt Whitman

View with a Grain of Sand by Wislawa Szymborska

Collected Poems by Vasko Popa

Under Milkwood by Dylan Thomas (this is a play, but Thomas is a poet and the language & structure is definitely poetic to me)

Bright Dead Things: Poems by Ada Limón

Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth by Warsan Shire,

Nostalgia, My Enemy: Selected Poems by Saadi Youssef

As for individual poems:

“Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver

[Dear The Vatican] erasure poem by Pádraig Ó'Tuama // "The Pedagogy of Conflict"

"Good Bones" by Maggie Smith

"The Author Writes the First Draft of His Weddings Vows (An erasure of Virginia Woolf's suicide letter to her husband, Leonard)" by Hanif Abdurraqib

"I Can Tell You a Story" by Chuck Carlise

"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth

"One Last Poem for Richard" by Sandra Cisneros

"We Lived Happily During the War" by Ilya Kaminsky

“I’m Explaining a Few Things”by Pablo Neruda

"Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" //"Nothing Gold Can Stay"//"Out, Out--" by Robert Frost

"Tablets: I // II // III"by Dunya Mikhail

"What Were They Like?" by Denise Levertov

"Those Winter Sundays" by Robert Hayden,

"The Patience of Ordinary Things" by Pat Schneider

“I, too” // "The Negro Speaks of Rivers” // "Harlem” // “Theme for English B” by Langston Hughes

“The Mower” // "The Trees" // "High Windows" by Philip Larkin

“The Leash” // “Love Poem with Apologies for My Appearance” // "Downhearted" by Ada Limón

“The Flea” by John Donne

"The Last Rose of Summer" by Thomas Moore

"Beauty" // "Please don't" // "How it Adds Up" by Tony Hoagland

“My Friend Yeshi” by Alice Walker

"De Humanis Corporis Fabrica"byJohn Burnside

“What Do Women Want?” // “For Desire” // "Stolen Moments" // "The Numbers" by Kim Addonizio

“Hummingbird” // "For Tess" by Raymond Carver

"The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin

“Bleecker Street, Summer” by Derek Walcott

“Dirge Without Music” // "What Lips My Lips Have Kissed" by Edna St. Vincent Millay

“Digging” // “Mid-Term Break” // “The Rain Stick” // "Blackberry Picking" // "Twice Shy" by Seamus Heaney

“Dulce Et Decorum Est”by Wilfred Owen

“Notes from a Nonexistent Himalayan Expedition”by Wislawa Szymborska

"Hour" //"Medusa" byCarol Ann Duffy

“The More Loving One” // “Musée des Beaux Arts” by W.H. Auden

“Small Kindnesses” // "Feeding the Worms" by Danusha Laméris

"Down by the Salley Gardens” // “The Stolen Child” by W.B. Yeats

"The Thing Is" by Ellen Bass

"The Last Love Letter from an Entymologist" by Jared Singer

"[i like my body when it is with your]" by e.e. cummings

"Try to Praise the Mutilated World" by Adam Zagajewski

"The Cinnamon Peeler" by Michael Ondaatje

"Last Night I Dreamed I Made Myself" by Paige Lewis

"A Dream Within a Dream" // "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe (highly recommend reading the last one out loud or listening to it recited)

"Ars Poetica?" // "Encounter" // "A Song on the End of the World"by Czeslaw Milosz

"Wandering Around an Albequerque Airport Terminal” // "Two Countries” // "Kindness” by Naoimi Shihab Nye

"Slow Dance” by Matthew Dickman

"The Archipelago of Kisses" // "The Quiet World" by Jeffrey McDaniel

"Mimesis" by Fady Joudah

"The Great Fires" // "The Forgotten Dialect of the Heart" // "Failing and Flying" by Jack Gilbert

"The Mermaid" // "Virtuosi" by Lisel Mueller

"Macrophobia (Fear of Waiting)" by Jamaal May

"Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong" by Ocean Vuong

"Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou

I would also recommend spending some times with essays, interviews, or other non-fiction, creative or otherwise (especially by other poets) if you want to broaden and improve how you read poetry; they can help give you a wider idea of the landscape behind and beyond the actual poems themselves, or even just let you acquaint yourself with how particular writers see and describe things in the world around them. The following are some of my favourites:

Upstream: Essays by Mary Oliver

"Theory and Play of the Duende" by Federico García Lorca

"The White Bird" and "Some Notes on Song" by John Berger

In That Great River: A Notebook by Anna Kamienska

A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib

The Book of Delights by Ross Gay

"Of Strangeness That Wakes Us" and "Still Dancing: An Interview with Ilya Kaminsky" by Ilya Kaminsky

"The Sentence is a Lonely Place" by Garielle Lutz

Still Life with Oysters and Lemon by Mark Doty

Paris, When It's Naked by Etel Adnan

[celestialholz]

The apple of my eye (or 'oh good, there's ANOTHER one')

*yeets into the conversation a week late with Starbucks*

Sorry, sorry. Been trying to save a dukedom from a giant brain and live my best happily ever with a vampire twink. Very distracting.

But anyway, I haven't even gotten the boys in my clubroom yet, so more analysis incoming, but I have finished Indigo Disk's main story, and I couldn't help but notice something deeply awful when fighting our little buddy Kieran.

... Oh god THEY'RE MULTIPLYING. How many apples do we need? How much more homosexuality does this game need? (Yes. The answer is 'yes.')

Meet Hydrapple everyone, the latest gay marriage mascot. Truly wish you all could've seen my face when. And it evolves from the last gay marriage mascot! I have quickly become homophobic again, how do they keep managing this?!

So, naturally, we need to break this loveable bastard and its symbolism down, or I might have to start passing the meta queen crown off to someone else. (I vote @prince-kallisto. Friend spare me. 🤣)

Well, we'll begin with the obvious: this thing is a hydra, a multiple-headed dragon in Greek myth. This one in particular has seven, so says the all-knowing dex:

But we'll do the seven part in a minute. The one major thing you should all know is that in most tales, removing one of this thing's heads respawns two in its place - and killing one of these creatures was the second labour of Hercules, the God of Strength. There's that fucking number two again in connection with our boys...

And now, let's take the Greek and easternize it to our lovely Japanese creators with the number seven.

Seven in Japanese culture, like in the western, is seen as a lucky number, and also the number symbolising the cycle of life and death.

... Which, if you recall, is a running theme with our silly men.

Get your life saved, idiot. Be lucky. 🥰

There are also Seven Gods of Fortune in Buddhism, Japan's primary religion. And there's one that rings more than a few ceremonial bells - Fukurokokuju. Bit of a Buddhist lore deepcut here for you:

> He is the god of wisdom, luck, longevity, wealth and happiness. Moreover, he is the only god who was said to have the ability to resurrect the dead. Fukurokuju is characterized by the size of his head, being almost as large as the size of his whole body.

... Hmm. Wisdom, happiness. Luck. 'Resurrecting.' The one that has a large head, like our good pal Hydrapple here... it's all very interesting, isn't it, how it ties together?

And all this goes a long way to explaining the evolution method of this fun little apple-y bastard. Because in order to be lucky, to be brought back to life, to heal and to love and to find yourself... one must have support. A cheerleader, if you will. Not one with pom-poms (although slay Hass babes, you'd look great in that drip), but one cheering you on. Always being in your corner.

... And here we find Dragon Cheer, Hydrapple's evolution move. Brassius can pursue his dreams as passionately as he likes, because there's always a husband at his side to be on his side.

It's a whole narrative, my friends. We have the romantic gift of the Applin; we have the adorableness of the Flapple, and its dusk portrait; we have the total harmony of Dipplin...

... And now we have the result of that harmony. Look, it's even running away from the Ice of the Polar Biome, a type both Grass and Dragon can't stand. The emotional cold.

Y'know, I'm sure someone would have DM'd me by now if Hass and Brass' clubroom banter confirmed their marriage, so I'm going to assume that isn't a thing.

... But at the same time, it's definitely a thing. All you have to do is read the narrative, darlings.

[androgynousblackbox]

How I Met Your Father. 3 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

A03 link

"Ssssoo, let me get this sstraight" started out Sir Pentious, their newest resident at the hotel, after taking a zip from the glass that Husk had just served him at the bar. "You mean to tell me that Alassstor, one of my oldest archnemessis, actually had a daughter all along. Who wass the princess of hell. Because he wass married all along to Lucifer and nobody knew about it. And that iss why he iss here at the hotel."

"Yeah, pretty much you got it" confirmed Husk, serving a new martini for Angel.

"And when I ssigned to sstay here, I alsso signed away any chance to ever tell it to anyone because no one should know for ssome reasson" added the snake man, trying to digest that information. Now it made sense why Charlie had insisted on the "not talk about my family outside of his hotel, I am sorry, please, I tried to change it but now I can't, just please don't do it" when he had the contract in front of him.

"Or you lose the ability to speak, text, corse mode or whatever else ever again" confirmed Angel. "Kinda paranoid if you ask me, but what are you gonna do? Still beats paying rent."

Sir Pentious looked pensative, lost in thought. After a while he finally reached to the one true question he wanted to ask.

"How?"

"How what?" Husk took a drink from his own bottle.

"I mean, that guy?" Sir Pentious turned around to see Alastor on the opposite side of the living room, taking a cup of coffee while gently moving his feet at the tune playing on the radio at his side. If it wasn't for the shadows dancing all around his little corner with cruel mocking smiles it could have been a peaceful picture. He quickly turned again when he could feel some of the shadows looking at him back. "Am I the only one who doessn't undersstand how he landed with Lucifer of all people? Nobody hass sseen the king in agess. I even heard rumorss of people thinking he had died yearss ago."

"Mmm, you know, that is not a bad question" Angel looked over to Husk. "Any input from your side, kitty?"

"Call me kitty again and see what happens" grumbled Husk, with a frown.

"Fine, fine. For the sake of science. Husk. Would you mind sharing the tea of what the fuck is up with smiley face?"

"You think I have a fucking clue of what that guy does or doesn't do? I have none" Husk also threw a glare to the corner of Alastor, that of course Alastor immediately returned with a friendly wave. Fucking bastard. "One day he called me over to bartend on some bullshit dance club he had set up in the palace with a new ring on his finger and saying he wanted to dance with his husband. When I asked what the hell was he talking about, he quite literally told me to mind my own business. I thought he had finally lost his god damn mind until I saw Lucifer appear with him using a matching ring. Next thing I know he is summoning me again to take care of a toddler he had apparently made so they could go on a date. Not a single explanation of where that toddler even came from, how it happened or why was he even calling me. Do I even look like a fucking babysitter?"

"You do look soft and huggable" commented Angel, looking him down and up. The comment, for once, didn't even seem to have a sexual innuendo, just a mere observation. "I can see kids liking that."

Husk rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. The point I was trying to get at, I am just as clueless as everyone else. I asked Charlie once if she knew how her parents met and she just said that I should ask them, because she thinks they tell the story so much better."

"But there is a story" Angel smiled, swiveling from side to side on his chair. "Oh, I bet it involves a dungeon somewhere. Can you imagine that is how they met? The king with a secret taste for BDSM finding his match there? Being the king has to create such a great pressure. Lots of powerful people relax with a good beating at the hands of someone else. I can see something like that happening. And wouldn't you know it, our smiley friends loves to give a good beating too. Now that would be a good movie I would watch."

Husk stared at him like he, too, had lost his entire mind. Then he seemed to think better about it and reclined on the bar. Truth be told, it was also the first time he got to talk about this with someone else since Alastor had also put the same condition of silence on him and Niffty.

"No, no, you know what? I bet there was some kind of contract involved. I just don't buy that guy getting romantic with anyone without a motive."

"I concord with Hussk there" added Sir Pentious, nodding. "He just doessn't sstrike me ass the romantic type either. Maybe it wass a form of blackmail over the king? Ssomething to hold againsst him unless he complied?"

"Mmm, that can be hot too" considered Angel. "But having a kid for a blackmail? Kinda extreme, doesn't it? And didn't you just said that they went on dates and what not? Isn't that too much effort for the bit?"

"Anyone can go out in dates with anyone, that doesn't meant that they aren't hiding something" Husk was getting more convinced of his own words the more he spoke. "And listen, you don't know the guy for as long I do. He would do anything to get what he wants. I once saw him devouring a guy just to get his coat. Playing the role of caring hubby just to get something out of it is not really out of the realm of possibilities. And there is a lot to gain from the king of hell himself."

"Jeez, okay, I got it, romance is dead and you killed it" Angel swivelled again, turning around. Charlie now was talking with Alastor about something. All the shadows had dissapeared and it was just the radio demon hanging to her every word. "I am just saying, if that is acting then that is one hell of an actor right there. And I should know as the only one with a job in front of a camera."

"Well, perhapss with Charlie iss different" conceded Sir Pentious. "It's alwayss different when it comes to your own children, I ssuppose."

"I don't know" Husk crossed his arms, trying to think of any sign of Alastor having anything else than affection for his daughter and, if he had to be honest, he was coming out with nothing. But that could also be entirely an ego thing to preserve his own legacy or something along those lines. "Well, fine, maybe. I still won't believe for a second that Alastor just so happened to end up with Lucifer out of the goodness of his heart. I just would like to know what he did to convince the king to go along with that plan."

"Maybe he is just really good at seduction" offered Angel. "And the king was so lonely, with his million of bucks in that huge empty castle and no one to share it with. Damn, I can almost see it. Smiley coming up with all the aces under his sleeves and charming him to his feet. The poor guy didn't stand a chance."

"For the guy who invented temptation? You think he would be that desperate?"

"Hell yeah, why not? I have seen uglier people pocketting hotter partners all the time. Charm and the right words will get you very far, Husky. Which reminds me to ask you, is Lucifer hot? I always pictured him with this massive and thick bulg…"

"Charlie, dear!" Sir Pentious said it louder than neccesary for the two of them to drop the subject already as the princess was approaching them. Alastor himself was nowhere to be seen. "We were jusst talking… about…"

"My favorite dildo broke and I got to buy a new one. Sad hours here."

Husk lifted both his hands in a clear request to know why the hell was Angel like that, while Sir Pentious looked about ready to offer himself to the exorcists. Angel shrugged in response. It was the very first thing that came to his mind. Charlie froze a moment in place, blushing before she regained her train of thought.

"Oh, well. For as fascinating of a topic that is, um, I was thinking that for the next exercise we could all get around in a circle tonight and talk about a happy memory that we all have!"

"That ssoundss like a lovely idea, dear."

"Whatever you say, princess."

Husk thought about it before answering.

"Is Alastor going to participate?"

"Yes, of course! I just told him about it and he is excited too."

Knowing the princess, that "excited" very well could have been polite interest.

"Mmm, you know what I was thinking, kiddo? When you were little, you always said that he was so good telling stories. I myself am not the best storyteller unfortunately. Why don't you get him to tell one of those stories for us? Maybe of how your parents end up together or something uplifting like that. To get us all in the best mood."

Charlie gasped loudly, clapping his hands against her cheeks.

"That is an amazing idea, uncle! I know everyone will love that! I will go tell him that right now!"

The moment the princess went up the stairs, probably to look for the demon back at his studio, Angel raised his glass to Husk.

"Master of subtlety, aren't ya?"

"Hey, I had to try at least once" He wasn't exactly happy for using the trust of Charlie on him like that, but he had spent decades wondering too much and wasn't going to spoil a chance when it presented itself to him. "I doubt that Alastor is going to even tell the truth with her in the room, but at least I will know what he told her about it."

"That iss besst than nothing, I guess" Sir Pentious sighed. "Do you all realizze that meanss Alasstor iss technically the king of hell too? And he jusst… doesn't do anything about it? The more I think about it, the weirder it getss."

"I am telling you, he is getting his kicks beating the king and enjoying that money. I am no sadist myself, but if the price is right I will make an exception."

Sir Pentious finished his drink and looked at his glass, as if looking the courage to say what was on his mind.

"Wanna bet?"

"Fuck yeah, bitch. How much?"

"What part of he is probably not going to say the truth in front of Charlie did not register? No kid wants to hear that their parents are together out of convenience and Alastor is not stupid enough to not know that."

"Oh, come on, whiskers, at least we can have some fun about it. Even among the bullshit we could find something true."

"You haven't seen the layers of bullshit Alastor is on."

"Hey, if you are too scared to even play, I get it. Pussy" Angel pronnounced the word like a kiss, with a smile.

Husk looked at him. Quickly, as if taking out a gun in a shooting, he took out his wallet. Oh, he would be damned if someone suggested he was too scared to play. His old pride as a gambling overlord was on the line.

"I bet you it's a completely bullshit made up story about being a meet cute, just to please Charlie."

"Now we are talking! I bet that Alastor will talk about having "especial interests" together and finding "mutual satisfaction" in each other."

"I bet itss going to involve Alasstor being the one with the initiative and the main driving force!"

Established the rates in, Husk set up the betting money on a little safe that he never used because nobody ever paid for their drinks there. All they had left to do was wait.

--

At the afternoon, they were surprised to find Alastor already sat on the couch. That alone wasn't surprising, but it was the white snake wrapped around his neck that Charlie reacted with absolute delight upon seeing it.

"Aww! And what is this doing here?" cooed, going up to the couch as the snake extended to her through Alastor's shoulder, flicking it's slitted tongue against her cheek and then it's head against her.

"Oh, this? Just a little snack for later that I found in the backyard" answered Alastor, his smile only growing bigger when the snake flicked it's tail to him, clearly pissed.

"Noooo, don't eat the little guy!" said Charlie, for some reason laughing to herself as she petted the white head, which seemed to instantly calm him down. "He is being so good right now, be nice, dad."

"Oh, well, I will consider it just because you ask, dear" Alastor chuckled, gently scratching under the chin of the snake with his claws. "After all, he is quite a lovely specimen, isn't he?"

It sounded like his words were more directed at the animal than to Charlie. The snake made a huffing motion, but end returning to wrap around Alastor's neck and settled himself there. When everyone else gathered around, Alastor accomodated on his seat petting the snake absentmindedly, letting his fingers run through the white body that looked perfectly relaxed on his place.

Charlie, in the other hand, turned to a confused Vaggie and whispered something on her ear that made her let out a silent oh. She smiled and gave a small head nod to the snake, that perked up upon seeing her, flickering his tongue.

Weird, but nobody really felt like questioning too much. After seeing a demon pulled out tentacles, shadows, musical instruments and other things out of mid air without making any effort, it was easy to just accept another oddity. At least this one wasn't deadly.

"Alright, everyone, thanks for coming!" started Charlie, as it was usual for all her bonding exercises. "Some of you have been very brave coming out today and we are so proud of you!" Charlie smiled in direction to Alastor, where the tail of the snake waggled against his coat. "As you all know, I wanted us to share a happy memory of each of us. It can be anything that you want as long it's something that makes you smile when you think about it. Does anyone want to be first? Angel?" asked when he saw the spider demon raising his hand.

Husk rolled his eyes, preparing himself to hear something about drugs or sex, probably both at the same time. Sir Pentious looked at the ceiling, brazing himself.

"One time I lost Fat Nuggets on the mall" started Angel. "I was like crazy looking for him everywhere. After a while I saw that he was waiting for me in the entrance with my phone in his mouth. I had been so focused in finding him, that I haven't even notice at all I had lost my phone even before coming in. It almost made me shit my pants, but it was also nice to see how smart he is."

The room stayed silent for a full second, everyone staring at him as if waiting for the punchline to drop. Angel laughed.

"What? I mean, if you are all dying to hear the more spicier memories then you can just ask! I have so many I wouldn't know which one to choose from! I could tell you about this time I…"

There it was.

"No, no, thank you, it's okay!" Charlie quickly interjected it. "Thank you, Angel, that was really lovely! Who is next?"

Sir Pentious shared a memory of finishing his first weapon of destruction after weeks of trying it out. The fact that it had destroyed the building he was in rather than the target didn't mattered at all to him, because at last it was doing something destructive at least. Vaggie talked about her first date with Charlie, in which she got to see a movie for the first time in her life and later have pizza at Charlie's apartment. They did nothing else that day and it was still the best day she could have wished. The simple retelling brighten up Charlie's face.

Her own happy memory was visiting Lu Lu World for the first time with her parents. She throw up three times, one for excitement and the other two for going to the roller coasters despite dad's warning. Her parents argued about letting her eat too much. But she always remembered when the night came and Lucifer taught her how to make fireworks out of her own hands, while Alastor looked up from the ground.

When everyone quietly decided to move on from the happy memory of Niffty that included a rusty knife and a kneecap she got to keep, Charlie turned to Alastor.

"Dad, your turn. Please?" asked, making the puppy eyes that she knew neither of her parents could resist for long.

"Alright, alright" Alastor sighed as if fighting a great resistance. "Per request of my little fawn, I guess I have no option but to bring up the time I met her father as my happy memory. Charlie heard this so many times that she must be sick and tired of it" added with a grin, seeing Charlie grab onto her crossed legs sat on the floor, exactly as when she was a kid about to hear it for the first time.

The ears of Husk perked, even though nothing on his whole posture changed. By now his biggest concern was to win the bet than to try to decipher how much Alastor was about to lie through his yellow teeth.

"Well, as you all must be aware of by now, my husband is the king of all hell and also a very private person" started the man, caressing the white snake that lifted his head to nuzzle his cheek. "So naturally he needed guards to keep the defenses up of his castle and keep anyone out. But not just about any sinner would do, no. I applied for the job out of mere and pure curiosity. How was our invisible king going to be? Was he going to be a monster worthy of hell, a nightmare I couldn't even begin to understand, or the pure image born out of heaven that he was originally? Maybe a combination of the two, the meaning of corruption? I just couldn't resist not knowing at all.

At that point my career as an overlord wasn't anything to scuff at. My own power made me thirsty for knowledge, to get where not any other sinner had been before. The king Asmodeus was the one to see all the candidates. He, as a close friend to the king and concerned for his wellbeing, wanted to garanteed that the peace of the king would not be disturbed by having the most capable

So naturally he made us all fight in an arena to see by himself who among us were the strongest. I could go on about all the gorey details of what I did with those sinner, but my little fawn is not a fan, so I will skip those for now. Unfortunately I got a little carried away myself, so there was no viable coworkers for me to share the position with by the time I was done. There were also no witnesses left. Truly tragic.

As soon Asmodeus saw I was clearly the superior choice, that is when I got installed in the palace to do my job.

As it turns out, the king of hell was so busy with his own royal issues that I didn't get to see him at all during my first week. Not the second. On the third I was already considering this could have been a huge waste of my time when I heard a melody from the garden. There, over the fountain, our dear beloved king was playing the violin over the waters.

He was certainly not a nightmare, nor a monster. A heaven dream they failed to appreciate and now was the ruler of his own kingdom, playing on his garden for no one. I let him finish the piece before talking. He knew about me and my face, of course. He first apologized profusely because of what Asmodeus had done "forcing me" to fight like that. He only had accepted that deal in the first place just for the peace of his friend, not his.

I told him, clear and direct, that I am only sorry I wasn't given more bodies to dispatch of. He just told me ah, so you are that kind of sinner. I should have known. He wasn't surprised or disgusted, neither ectatic and jumping in giddiness. The king of hell had seen every atrocity made by men since creation and their wickedness hold no wonder for him. It just was, the same way that the sky down here is red. No need to justify it or ponder too much about it.

I found it… refreshing, in a way. Living in hell, you would think people would be less squeamish and afraid of some dark humor, but you would be wrong. The lack of judgement from the one who was judged the harder made it so much easier to be at ease on his presence. From that day forward, seeing as he couldn't keep pretending that I wasn't there, we started having dinner together. At first our alimentary preferences were a bit of a struggle to get through. He insisted on putting sugar on almost everything he touched. I liked my meals as raw and bloody, a little decayed for extra flavor, which he didn't appreciate particularly when flies started appearing.

More than one time I considered quitting. More than one time he threatened with kicking me out. But for whatever reason, there was never enough conviction to do anything else but keep our distance for a day or two, until we ended up in the same table again. Little by little I started cooking some of my meals and he stopped trying to give me sweets all the time. Our chairs were getting closer so we could hear each other better. He talked to me about his interest or hobbies with no filter, even when I didn't want to hear, like he haven't had anyone to do that with in a long time.

It was a comfortable routine, and before I knew it, an entire year had already passed. I learned about what being a king entailed and whatever ambitions I had about it were very quickly squandered. Charlie, I am sorry, but it's literally the most boring job you will ever have. Endless paperwork, dealing with the whinning of all the rings, even more paperwork, taxes because this is hell, of course, and, in a shocking twist of event, more paperwork to go through. I did always tried my best to distract the king when I could so he wouldn't drown himself on that side of his job and I myself wouldn't die of boredom.

But going out was difficult for him, so I would do things like setting a fake jazz club in the party room so he would get that experience I quite enjoyed myself. Our Majesty wasn't only a enthusiastic lover of music, he also had the lightest feet on the floor I had ever seen. He could pick up the rythm almost instantly and follow along.

On that first date, we may have been carried away with our drinks. Particularly me, regrettably, because as it turns out, it takes a lot more than what a mortal soul can take to get the devil actually wasted. I don't even remember what I said or in what tone, or even how Lucifer responded at any of it, but at the next morning I knew that something had changed in our dynamic. A touch of hands that went a bit longer than ever before. A gaze that never wanted to quit. A smile without any apparent reason. We end spending almost all day just in the presence of each other. When we didn't, we still looked for each other.

How can you be surprised when inevitably things go even further? How can you be shocked when you see your king at the end of the hallway and think "ah, that is right. That is the man I will end up spending eternity with"? Lucifer proposed first only because I couldn't find the most appropiate ring before him."

At that point Alastor took out the glove that used only on one hand, revealing a golden ring in his finger.

"Pure magic in solid form. That is when I found out that rings given by the king of hell himself can't be taken out. The only exception being in case of a divorce or death. Not that I was planning to do either, but it kinda made it hard to try to not advertise our relationship everytime I came out the palace. Hence the glove that I only got to take out once I am back home. And now here, since I know none of you will speak about it.

That is how I married the father of my future little fawn."

Charlie chocked up a little, barely containing a few tears that escaped her eyes, and she got up the floor to go hug her, kissing the little snake too. Vaggie discretly cleaned up her eyes as well, ignoring the snore coming from a pass out Niffty. Not enough violence for her to be entertained.

Charlie declared the whole experience a resounding success. Alastor stand up to announce he would be going to his designated room now. Husk followed up his steps up the stairs until he heard a door closing after him.

Vaggie encommended Husk to take out Niffty to her own room so she could sleep properly, before taking out a still emotional Charlie to their room. The princess of hell wished everyone a good night and they responded in kind. As soon they were both out of earshot, the remaining three sinner gather.

"Bullshit" declared Husk. "Absolute fucking bullshit. Every single word of it. I fucking knew it. I remember the jazz club thing and he had the fucking ring on already. He knows I know it too. Lying piece of shit."

"Yeah, I was about to say, that also sounded weird to me" Angel crossed his lower arms, while the upper ones brushed his hair back. "That is weird, isn't it? Why lie about that?"

"To piss me off, obviously." As soon he said it, Husk just knew that it was true and glared to the door that Alastor had used. "He is literally just playing now. Oh, I bet that fucker is having just the biggest laugh at my expense."

"That wassn't a ssnake either" commented Sir Pentious suddenly, making the other two to stare at him. "Ssnakes aren't that physsically affectionate or even like continuous physsical contact like that. At mosst they tolerate it."

"Speaking from experience?" Angel arqued an eyebrow.

"Excusse you, but I am a man firsst! And for you information, no. I just read about it" clarified Pentious, so absolutely confident on his word that neither of them doubted that he was lying. Seemingly realizing that, he blushed. "I-in any casse, how are we going to decide who won the bet?"

At the other side of the door, Alastor couldn't help himself and let out a low chuckle. Lucifer could feel the vibrations through his entire scaly body.

"What is so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, my love. I was just thinking of an old joke that suddenly sprung to mind."

"Right." Lucifer already knew better than to believe that, but with Alastor frankly anything could be cause for his laughter. "Can I get my hat back? I feel naked without it."

"You are naked, darling." Nonetheless, Alastor did took out the little hat from his pocket and put it on the head of the snake over his shoulder.

"Yes, but now I feel better" Lucifer sighed, lowering his head to rest against the rest of his body, looking around the hallways as Alastor kept walking. "It's not as awful as I imagined."

"Did you strain a muscle reaching for that compliment?"

"Fine, it's disgusting. Has anyone ever told you that other colors beside red exist? Happy now?"

"Appreciate the honesty."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, reaching out to lay on top of Alastor's head between his antlers. He waited until they reached the room designated for Alastor before he jumped in the air, turning into his humanoid form with a red poof.

He smiled a little when seeing that the bed was just as big as their bed in the palace. They had agreed that he would try to spend one night there before making an "official" visit and deciding to stay with the rest of his family. That would be easier than opening up and closing portals from their home to the hotel.

"How are you doing, darling?" asked Alastor, sitting on the bed and patting the space at his side for Lucifer.

"For now it's fine" Lucifer leaned his head against his husband's shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He masticated the sorry that wanted to come out of his mouth. Saying sorry for being an anxious mess every time he was outside his palace didn't fix anything. "It's so much easier in animal form. I don't know why."

"I don't mind either way." commented Alastor, slipping a hand between them to rub his back in big circles. "Today you made our daughter happy just being here."

Lucifer smiled, hugging him by the side, holding Alastor by his shoulder.

"I still kinda feel bad we have to lie to her about… you know, that."

"It was your idea."

"Yeah, because I am not proud of it. Doesn't mean I have to like it" Lucifer sighed, letting himself fell to the bed, just dreading what kind of conversation that would be in front of their daughter. "Hey, sweetheart, that cute story we told you since you were born about your dad being a guard and we slowly falling in love was a total fiasco. Yeah, in reality what we actually did was the equivalent of marrying drunk in Las Vegas during a bender. So romantic, huh?"

"Technically speaking you were the drunk one, not me" pointed out Alastor with a chuckle, kissing his cheek as he lat on his side to brush his hair. "I was just minding my own business when suddenly I was teleported to the palace with a ring on my finger. Not even a dinner date."

"I know" groaned Lucifer, turning in the bed to faceplant the mattress. His voice came out muffled against the covers. "That was the most embarrassing shit ever."

"Mmm" Alastor nuzzled his nape, breathing in the scent of his hair for a moment, before he kissed again his neck. "I don't regret anything about how things went."

"Of course you wouldn't." Lucifer rolled his head to look at him. He didn't regret it either, truth be told. He just wished it could have been something to remember fondly, from the start to today, instead of a gradual shift that started on the worst feet possible. "Your story is still so much cooler."

"Considering most of it was improvised on the spot and then I had to remember the details for later, thank you." Alastor stand out to change clothing and bring something for Lucifer, since he really didn't have anything for himself.

In the end he gave him a plain white t-shirt that was still too big for his body and some gym pants that were also too long, almost completely covering his hooves, but at least could be adjusted on the hip so they wouldn't fall out.

"How would you tell it?" asked suddenly Lucifer when Alastor was about to turn the lights off.

"To Charlie?"

"Not necessarily. Just about in general."

Alastor tilted his head, furrowing his brow.

"Do you want me to tell you the story of how we met?"

Lucifer smiled, making the puppy eyes that so many times had condemned the both of them when coming from their daughter.

"Pretty please? You are seriously so good at it. Maybe it will sound less bad if it comes from you."

Alastor thought about it for a moment and then sighed. Flattery did go a long way with him, naturally Lucifer would know that already.

"Sure" said through a yawn, turning the light and getting into bed. Lucifer went to accomodate on his back, his white arms wrapping around his waist, as if refusing to lose their contact. "But tomorrow when we are at our own home, darling. I think that would be the best."

He was tired and wanted to sleep. But more than anything, he didn't want to risk Lucifer having an episode in the middle of it.

"If you need to go back to the palace at any moment, wake me up and tell me" Alastor turned his head all the way to kiss his forehead. Lucifer corresponded by hugging him just a bit closer, nuzzling his back.

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too, dear."

[dathomirdumpsterfire]

~~Chapter 2~~

(Ao3 link at the bottom, updates Tuesdays)

Ben has been to a fair number of memorably awkward dinners in his life. From soothing the inevitable culture shock of new dignitaries come to orbit the galactic senate, to peace treaty signings that ended in assassinations rather than weddings; between being a traveling jedi master and living on the ecumenopolis that is Coruscant… he has seen a thing or two. 

Yet somehow this dinner was going to make the greatest hits list of phenomenally awkward events.

"Here Ben, have some more topato salad," Beru offers, nudging the bowl toward him.

He isn’t very hungry after all the rest of the admittedly fine meal, but discretion is indeed the better part of valor. The jedi-in-exile takes another two spoonfuls rather than decline. He plans to stretch the two bites to six or seven tiny ones.

"Thank you, Beru," Ben says with a smile. "I must say, your creativity with topato is astounding. I really didn't know you could do this many things with them." 

Across the table, Owen is trying to light him on fire with his eyes. He ignores the other man. He has nothing on Mace in a mood, and there really isn’t anything for it. Either the moisture farmer would come to like him well enough, or he would not .

Besides, Luke is sitting in his highchair, talking baby nonsense and gumming adorably at mashed topatos. How could anyone be in a bad mood around that* ? If Owen manages to keep his snit going, Ben will simply have to write it off as a chronic and incurable condition.

"I think the topato cakes are a new favorite of mine," he throws out, trying to keep the conversation topic of root vegetables going as long as possible, "Although the casserole was a close second. The hass… hmm… what was it you called it? The accordion cuts on the full one?"

"A 'hasselback'," Beru offers, preening about it, and clearly ignoring Owen’s grumpiness as well. "My grandpa taught me how to do that one."

"Ah yes! That was it. The hasselback was particularly impressive, and rather fun to eat."

He means that, too. When half your crop is topatoes and you come up with this many different ways to prepare them, it really is impressive.

Beru pats his hand, "I'm so glad you've enjoyed everything, Ben. Don't worry, I'll send you home with leftovers."

"Don't spoil me too much!" he jokes with a laugh, but speaks from a place of honesty. It isn't like he has a conservator to put anything in.

Luke replies for the room, big blue eyes squinting closed as he squeals happily, just a hair below the frequency needed to crack glass. Beru snorts at the baby, tidying his face and returning several spoons of mash from highchair table to infant-sized bowl. Even Owen's frown pulls up a hint in amusement.

Conversation fails to pick back up after Luke's outburst though. Alas, the root vegetable topic has run its course. Ben focuses intently on his tiny bites of creamy, oniony salad.

The chatter hasn't been dead more than a minute when he catches Beru giving her husband a black look. Owen tries to dodge its potency by hiding behind a mouthful of bread roll, but that only takes him so far. 

Suddenly the man jumps, banging a knee on the underside of the table… almost like someone had stomped on his foot down there.

Ben inspects his shiny, scratched up dinner spoon, and waits.

There's another stint of quiet while they get into it in silence, speaking in the wordless language of couples everywhere. There's eyerolls, pointed glances toward the couch, flat looks, and raised brows. 

Ben can tell that Owen has lost when the man actually speaks more than five words in a row for the first time all night. 

"Say… wizard. There's something I want to ask you," he prods, gruff.

The jedi perks up, trying to exude friendliness. "Certainly, what is it?" 

"Luke's grandma was allergic to somethin' in vizza wheat. Was wondering if you knew how to check for that without doin’ it the hard way."

"Or if you knew if either of his parents had…?" Beru adds. 

Ben rubs his chin thoughtfully, grateful for the regrowth of hair that had somehow come back in much fuller than before, despite no change in habit. Perhaps he was simply acclimatizing?

"Now that I think about it, Anakin would get a stomach ache if he ate too much bread. I would guess it was simply a mild gluten intolerance? Luke could have that as well."

Owen looks down at the remains of breadroll in his hands, skeptical. "He was intolerant of something in all  bread?" 

Ben shakes his head in a negative, hands lowering. "Different flours can have very little or a great deal of gluten. A little was fine for him, like the bread needed for a kebob or fried food? But a bread pudding would give him indigestion for hours, and make him cranky besides."

Beru smiles, seemingly more pleased than the conversation warranted. "Well that's good to know! We'll have to try giving our little man here just a bit, and see how he does." 

"So we do it the hard way after all," Owen grumbles, "You really don't got any fancy wizard tricks to check?"

Ben laments not having the blood test device that jedi used to carry as commonly as most people would keep a datapad on hand. It would have done the trick, and well… he is curious about the boy's midichlorian count. 

"No, I'm sorry. There's a device that could do it, but I don't have one."

Beru waves him off. "A clue from his dad is more than we had to start with, Ben. Don't stress about it."

He nods, and tries not to, going back to his last two mini-bites of topato. 

The conversation wobbles to life here and there, just enough that the rest of the night feels a bit awkward, but not truly stilted or painful. They make it to dessert, where Luke's sweet tooth joy carries the adults the rest of the way until it's time to say goodnight. 

Beru invites him to stay, citing the desert's dangers as the suns disappear, but by that point Ben longs for his quiet little cave. He does not, however, escape without an abundance of leftovers.

It is a long, quiet walk back across the sands to his hideaway. The darkened interior greets Ben with freshly sand-coated floors and the skitter of nighttime creatures. The shape of stone and surface are unlit by the wan moonlight outside, but that’s quite alright. He has long since memorized the form of his space in the dark.

“I’m back!” he tells the dusty air, shuffling carefully in the pitch black to get to the bed. “I had a lovely time at the Lars’. Beru’s topato game is really something.”

The wrapped containers he’d been given are set along the back wall, where a shelf-like protrusion holds a few things. Mostly nice rocks he’s found here and there.

“I’ve more leftovers than I know what to do with…” Ben complains.

He does. They’re fine in the chilly night, but won’t last through the heat of the day tomorrow. “I suppose I shall… simply have to eat as much of them as possible.”

The thought of eating a feast for the second day in a row turns his stomach.

“Or well… perhaps some of the rock lizards would like a bite?”

No one replies, but that’s to be expected.

“Yes, I think I shall share.”

[r0-boat]

Dragon in bramble part 2

Someone requested me to do this,

And when I came back the next day it was gone so what the hell Tumblr ahh

Brassius x Afab!Reader x Hassel

Cw: polyamory, breeding

Nsfw under cut

Hassel has always been a stickler for patience.

He is an artist after all, and takes true pride in his work. Each stroke of his brush is slow and precise. Knowing that each line he makes with his hand will all contribute in the final piece as a whole later. It might take days, weeks, even months but that loss of time will always be worth it.

But here Brassius could only smirk, watching his other beloved thrash against the ropes. His eyes completely clouded with nothing but desire. His eyes prying into the scene before him of his husband over his other spouse whose nails were digging into Brassius's back,

His growls muffled by the gag in his mouth, the throbbing of his red, drooling cock becoming all too much to bear.

Hips moving bucking upward, trying to match his husband's speed wishing his cock was being milked instead.

Only when Hassel's growls turn into whimpering sobs, Brassius clicked his tongue.

"Behave yourself Hass, you've had your turn, give me a chance to pump them full"

His breath shakes at that comment, going straight to his cock.

Fuuuuck, he wants more, he doesn't care if he's breeding you or Brassius, he just wants something to empty his aching balls into.

And he needs it now.

Hassel shoots you the most pitiful puppy-eyed look he can muster, pleading for you to take pity on this poor Dragon who wanted nothing but love and attention from his two partners.

When you tilt your head at him, a hand places on your chin moving you back to meet Brass's gray eyes.

"Pay no mind to him dear, as usual, he's just being greedy."

He rolls his tongue across your neck grinding his cock deeper inside of you, brushing against that sensitive spot over and over making you clench around his shaft.

His lips continue giving your neck attention, biting and sucking before shoving his tongue in your mouth giving your lips the detention they deserve.

He swallows your moans before breaking the kiss, looking back upon hearing more whimpering and thrashing.

...

An idea popped his head once more, with a smirk he turns back to you.

"If he wants to see us this badly maybe we should give him what he."

Before you could question him he wraps an arm around you lifting and moving you to face the chair. Your knees planted into the sheets, he lifts you up, your back pressed against his naked chest, your eyes now looking directly into Hassel's golden ones.

What a sight to behold.

His bright eyes were now dull with lust, his pupils blown, hair down in his face, his teeth biting down on the gag, you could just barely hear his muffled growls of your's and Brassius’ name with drool dripping from his mouth. His chest rising and falling, the dark green Bramble ropes around his body holding him to the chair firmly with the rubber spikes digging into his skin. His cock twitched, precum beading and dripping down the hard shaft.

As you take in the sight of your poor husband, your other one reaches for a tie laying forgotten on the ground.

Your arms are grabbed. You feel something wrap around them, and tie them together. Brassius holds you up, his dick bumping against your clit before slamming you down onto him, tip nuzzling against your cervix.

"Brass!" you yell, arching back up against him and throwing your head over his shoulder.

Hassel’s eyes remain transfixed on the way Brassius's cock disappears in your cunt.

[medali-meltdown]

guess what time it is!!!

I have been amused by taking selfies with titans

more under cut

found Brassius's secret love garden in the heart of the hedge maze. or maybe it's where he retreats to write love letters to Hass which he'll never show ;~;

no sooner do I defeat Brassie when I run into his husband at the Artazon pokecenter!! whatcha doing in town, teach?

he legit jumpscared me. the nanana :|a

Clive buddy, how can you make me choose? I picked Ms. Miriam because I had just come from a two-part convo with her which ended in my earning her trust. she's soooo cute raaaa give her a promotion

Hassel's really got his eye on—

AAAHHH!! 👀👀👀

hhhhHHHHBFFBSKFNH

[insert-stupid-username]

Hass 2024 Stats

[reneesbooks]

find the word tag

salt and brine is on an enforced break right now for editing/unblocking purposes but i can still Think about them. tagged by my lovely @oh-no-another-idea to find change, grace, escape, and mine <3. we got kamon pov exclusively today

change

Kamon pulls the Hass woman's shawl around his shoulders, hunkering down against another gust of cold air. He can't stop thinking of her expression when he offered to take her with him, the way shock had faded into fear, how she'd closed her eyes and stepped away. He wonders if he had asked again, if he went back—would she change her mind?

grace

Reijka has spotted the beach. She tugs on Kamon's sleeve and points with wide eyes. He crouches next to her and shakes his head. “You won't like it,” he says. “It's very cold.” She tilts her head to the side, unbothered, and he glances up at Meja and the merchant, engrossed in their negotiations. He stands and catches Meja's attention. “Reijka wants to see the Freezing Beach. We won't be gone long.”

She nods and turns back to the merchant, her jaw set in a stubborn way. Kamon offers his hand to Reijka and she takes it, skipping gracelessly alongside him. They make their way down the gently sloping hill, stopping where the grass fades into the strange white sand. Reijka looks up at him questioningly. He crouches down. “Touch it, see?” He puts his hand on the sand and has to pull back immediately, the cold so intense that it burns. “Too cold.”

Reijka slowly sets her hand atop the sand. She cries out, pulling her hand back, and he reaches out to steady her. “It's okay. It won't hurt you. It just doesn't feel good.”

She looks from her hand to the sand, then up at him with wide eyes. He smiles at her, a lump in his throat. He can't imagine how Stian could have wasted so much time hoping for another child while ignoring the beautiful one he already had.

escape

Reijka is sitting on the bed, speaking quietly to her hands while Eima gurgles happily in her cradle. Kamon pauses in the doorway. “Reijka? Who are you talking to?”

Reijka looks up, beaming. “What I was trying to show you earlier!” She holds out a disgruntled-looking frog, clutched tightly in her hands. “He tried to escape but I caught him again.”

Kamon blinks, registering the creature slowly. Meja runs a hand over Reijka's hair, saying something encouraging that Kamon doesn't manage to translate.

“Oh,” he finally says. “That's nice, darling.”

“Do you know what he is?” Reijka turns the frog over in her hands, examining it curiously. “I've never seen one before and neither has Mommy.”

“Oh.” Kamon shouldn't be so speechless about a frog. He thinks he might be in shock. His back hurts. “It's called a frog. They eat bugs.”

“I like bugs!” Reijka says, delighted.

“Of course you do,” Kamon says faintly.

mine

“Right on time, Kamon,” the captain's voice calls out, and the crew backs away to let her pass. She grins at him and gestures with her pipe. “What the hell happened to you, then?”

“Which version of events would you prefer?” he replies. “Leshen doesn't believe mine.”

“Oh?” the captain chuckles.

“He met a beautiful Hass woman who hid him in her cellar and nursed him tenderly back to health under the nose of her scary husband,” Leshen says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

The crew roars with laughter and the captain takes a long puff on her pipe, grinning around it. “What really happened, Kamon?”

He shrugs. “That about sums it up.”

tagging @k--havok @writinglyra @akindofmagictoo and anyone else who would like to join in to find expression, fade, creature, and laughter <3

[hassakuus]

Alllll-righty then, here are my Hassel Fam hcs/lore/some story shizzle. It’s a bit of long read so here we freaking go,,,

(Also contains a lil sneak preview of one of my ocs I’m writing about)

(Also also, a tw for ab*se and mentions of sc*rs)

- Hass family tree traces back to the 18th century

- They live southwest of Hammerlocke, on dozens of acres of land. Almost like a small village.

- It’s quite hidden deep in the forest. The only way you’d know you’re on their property is if you’re greeted by two statues of dragons leading to an archway.

- The clan has quite the menagerie of dragon Pokémon, breeding them for family and also for up and coming dragon tamers outside of their family.

- Raihan’s family are on somewhat good terms with Hass’s family, but Raihan always felt….. something kinda off about them??? But he never really spoke about that in public.

- They are very traditional. The head of the family is always male and arranged marriages are absolute.

- The current leader is Hassel’s father, Adonis. He is widowed and has three children: two sons, Hassel and Virgil (the latter who is the youngest child), and a daughter named Freya (who is the middle child)

- Adonis is INCREDIBLY two-faced. He knows how to put on an act to strangers: the sweet old man act. But to those who know him, Adonis is very tough, stoic, calculating, ruling over the clan with an iron fist. Always knows that he’ll get what he wants. On top of that, he is an absolute gaslighter.

- Virgil is extremely resentful towards Hassel, wishing he was the next head instead of his older brother. He is also sharp tongued and blunt. Virgil is currently married and has 2 sons (who are just as rude and sharp tongued as him)

- Freya on the other hand, is more reasonable. Regardless, she thinks quite highly of herself and thinks Hassel was selfish of abandoning the family. She was also one of the main people who would regularly sent to retrieve her brother, besides the elders. She is married and has no children.

- Adonis’s wife was named Helene. She was beautiful and strong willed. Although she was resilient like her husband, Helene was more softer towards her children.

- By the time the children turned 10, they began intense training. When they were young, it would start with basics like learning about each type of dragon and bonding time. And when they get older, then the true intense dragon taming sessions would begin.

- It wasn’t uncommon for the children to be verbally abused over just the little mistakes. The clan always DEMANDS perfection, no mistakes whatsoever.

- Adonis and the elders would always say “if they didn’t have any scars, they weren’t training hard enough.”

- It was pretty common in the clan to have training scars.

- They were especially rough with Hassel, considering he was the next head of the family. Hassel was expected to lead the family to greatness and sire a male heir.

- The clan was in a panic when they found out that 16 year old Hassel ran away, basically disappearing.

- “The boy is bluffing. He’ll come back here. I’ll give it a few days before he decides to come back blubbering” Adonis scoffed. Nope, that’s not what happened.

- It would be 7 years until they located Hassel in Paldea. But he stood firm on his decision to stay there and refuse to come home.

- Suddenly, Helene had unexpectedly passed away. It left Adonis and his children crushed. That was the only time Hassel came back home.

- Initially he was going to stay for a while but after a huge blowout with his father, a day after the funeral, Hassel went back to Paldea. He would never return home.

- And so began relatives trying to convince him to come home. Virgil only did it once and,,,,,, let’s just say it didn’t turn out so good

- Adonis never went. Not only because of tending to the clan at home, but being a stubborn ass.

- The next time he would hear from Hass is when he got married to his first wife. The clan was overjoyed (albeit it wasn’t a woman of his father’s choosing, his son was married regardless)

- Adonis didn’t visit but he did send a telegram congratulating Hassel on his marriage.

- Regardless, they still continued to pester him to come home.

- Once again, it would be another 6 years when he would hear from his son again. Only this time, it came to light that Hassel had become a father.

- Now Adonis was fucking GIDDY about this piece of news. Like this mf was excited that his son was bringing a new heir.

- Once again he was unable to visit but a year later, he decided to go see his son. It had been years since they last saw each other and they left on sour terms.

- Freya decided to come along. Adonis was excited to see their new heir.

- Hassel thought his father was bluffing when he said he was coming over but nope it was true :’)

- “Where is my grandson? I would like to see him” Adonis asked. Hassel was super hesitant about the whole ordeal but he had to come clean.

- Two revelations had came out. A: Hassel and his wife had divorced and had been divorced for over a year. B and the biggest reveal of all: instead of a son, Hassel had a daughter. He was raising the girl by himself.

- Hassel brought the baby to see her aunt and grandfather. But he was clutching her a little tightly, having a feeling of they would try to do something .

- “Oh.” That was the only thing Adonis could say. He was….. well, no one could really tell how he felt or what he was thinking because his face was just in a blank stare.

- He decided to talk to Hassel alone. Adonis began asking him if he had been back in the dating scene

- Hassel knew he would ask this. Currently, dating is the last thing on his mind as he has a bigger task at hand at the moment.

- “But what if, one of these days, your daughter would want a sibling? Perhaps a baby brother” Adonis asked.

- There it is. He knew it. He knew his father wouldn’t accept her. Adonis tried to be all innocent about it: “Hassel, she is an adorable baby, there is no doubt about that. But you know she can’t be the next heir. That would break our clan’s law and-“

- “Get. Out.” Hassel growled. They began to leave, not before Adonis promising that he will find another wife for Hassel and that he WILL give him a grandson. That was the last time he saw his son.

- Years passed and other clan members continued to pester Hassel on coming back. Adonis refused to go back to Paldea.

- The ONLY time the clan was proud of Hassel was when he was inducted into the Elite Four. But found it nonsensical that he became a teacher and on top of that, dating a grass type gym leader.

- Adonis began to realize deep down that he’s fighting a losing battle. And he was feeling…. regret and shame???? All throughout Hassel’s youth, he was tough on him. Forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do, belittling him. He thought he was toughening Hassel up but that wasn’t it.

- His stubbornness and actions had pushed his son away and denying a relationship with his granddaughter.

- However, he would never admit this and was still under the belief that Hassel will come home one of these days.

- Currently, the clan is still going strong. However, now they are all starting to realize that Hassel will never come back no matter how hard they push (he’s been saying that for 38 years and NOW they’re starting to realize they’re losing smh)

ANDDDDD that’s all imma write for now. Sorry that this is long as shit 😭 I wasn’t intending this to be this long but fuck it (also sorry if the writing sucks, tried my best hsjshsj)

I’ll add some more shit down the road and do a lil edit here and there and etc but yea this is my au thing for Hass and his fam

[thedovahcat]

The entire first half of Endwalker is just Hass fighting with the guilt-manifested-vision of his dead husband who keeps yelling at him about how they should have taken that PTO when they had the chance. @clockworkpriest

[celestialholz]

Just the Two of Us (or 'the number two and Hassius')

So, you may remember me discussing TM20 a while ago, how it's Brassius' life story and how the numbers two and zero make up an experience shared with no one else, and... well, thought that was as far as the 'twoness' went, to be honest. That was enough, right? That's already enough gay, between the Applin and the sculptures in Artazon????

... Except no, because in case you hadn't realised by my collection of seven ephemeralart metas and counting, Paldea simply loves to gaslight me into a false sense of security. A girl thinks she's done with Pokemon's chief husbands, and yet here she is again.

What follows is a collection of 'twos' and their multiples that follow Hassel and Brassius around as though they're being stalked by their own love story.

We'll start with: if you take on Victory Road in its recommended order, Brassius is the second trainer you fight, whilst Hassel is the second to last.

I'm sure we all know it by now, but here's the order you're meant to go in:

And obviously it's followed by the Elite Four, Hassel being the last one before the champion herself. (We're... not counting Nemona. The Nemona fight's its own special little thing, and she's not part of the League anyway.) Couple that with the fact that Hassel canonically shows up to say hello after the second gym, and... mm. Mmmmm.

Point one, in fact, is almost as good as point two: Applin.

This is Applin's stat spread. Which is all perfectly divisible by two. In fact, if you just throw Hassel and Brassius (TM)20 points each... well, that's four stats covered, and it kinda stands to reason that two older men might be slower, and that that two older, emotionally damaged men might be really good at being overprotective. 'Dragon that guards the final fortress of the Elite Test,' anyone?

Oh, but we don't end there with Applin. Oh no.

The apple daughter has Ripen as an ability later, which, well...

... doubles effects. Okay then...

Is this the better of Flapple's two abilities? Oh, absolutely. But it also means nothing practically, because Hass doesn't use berries, or held items at all in fact. It's almost like it's only there symbolically! Imagine that, what a world. And Flapple, as I've discussed before, is also second to last in his team line-up, which as we know symbolises the heart and personality of the trainer. I'd argue, in fact, that Hassel having Flapple over Appletun is indicative of turning a misunderstood childhood (a 'self-defence', if you will) into a powerful and prosperous adulthood, because Flapple's much more of an offensive Pokemon - but that's an observation for another time.

Point three: there are four Harvest Cs, again two times two. I talked about the significance of The Harvest over here, and about how the sculpture I named 'C' there is a lovely fusion of Grass and Dragon, orbited by small suns. And here they all are:

(Shoutout to mini Holz for that colour coordination. She did it herself, I am but a mere humble illuminator of the lore.)

Point four: there are 34 Surrendering Sunfloras. Also divisible by two. (I am not spending another five hours on fucking Sunfloras so no photography for this one, but trust me... I spent five hours on this shit.)

And there's also that Brassius is gym two... Hassel is fourth of the Elite Four... but here's the real killer:

Point five: Art (4). Just... just going to leave that one with you, and remind you that Paldea has never heard of the concept of 'coincidence.' And I'm going to drop this rainbow two here... just because, y'know.

[endlich-allein]

Hi, who was the murder in the ich hasse kinder short film, was it till or was it his wife, I'm not sure, but I'll be glad to have an answer 😁

Hello ✌🏼

That's a very good question ! In fact, there is no official answer, so it's open to everyone's interpretation.

Who is the killer ? Are there multiple killers ? We have no answers to these questions. The two main suspects are Till and his wife.

For me, and this is just my personal interpretation, I think Till is the killer. Why ? Because during the interrogation, facing the policeman, what we see are flashbacks of the murders. Memories. From Till's point of view. These are rather brutal murders, which require a certain force. In addition, we see Till drive away when the judge's car is on fire after the explosion. I think he's the only killer.

His motive is very clear. Revenge. He takes revenge on the students and teacher who brutalized him, humiliated him and ruined his childhood. The kid who sticks a fork in his hand has his hand cut off with an axe. The one who breaks his toy, a car, gets crushed by a car in a garage. The one who locks him up in his locker, finds himself buried alive in a coffin. The one who humiliated him during the sports class when he had to climb the ladder, sees himself swinging from the top of several floors.

But despite the facts, and since there is little evidence and Till does not confess, the Judge declares him innocent and releases him. At this point, the film shows us that the Judge was in the same class as Till when she was a child. Why does she release him ? Does she feel guilty for what she did to him when they were kids ? Does she feel threatened ? Because she, who made fun of him at school, will perish in the explosion of his car.

Despite his revenge, we see that Till is not at peace with his past, it even makes him vomit. But Till has built his life, he is a German teacher, he is married and has two children. Their family is happy and loving. And above all, she is welded. Because we realize that Till's wife knew what he was doing. She knows what is torturing her husband and understands his crimes, she protects him by hiding evidence (the scarf and the trombinoscope). She is not a killer, but she is the accomplice of a killer.

That's my theory. But like a lot of Till's (and more broadly Rammstein's) videos, it's open to all interpretations ! God I love this mv / short film (the kiss gives me shivers of desire) 🤤

[ghoulfool]

"She was sometimes seen in premiere photographs, or photographed at home next to her famous husband, where she always looks mildly protective, as if she was the foundation and pillar of the family. In one of these pictures, one is struck by an interesting image composition: Greta looks at Gösta with a tender, motherly gaze, while he turns away so that his profile is visible; he is the beautiful Gösta, the object of our gaze, the one who allows himself to be viewed. She has put one hand on his shoulder and is standing so that she appears to be a little taller than him. She has put the other hand in her pocket, a typically masculine pose. Greta seems to occupy the active male role, the one who does and sees, while he, Gösta, just like the women in the portraits throughout art history, has the passive role of being the one who’s being looked at.” - Dandyn i drömfabriken: Hasse Ekman by Mikaela Kindblom