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#has been for 16 almost 17 hours
bengallemon · 2 years
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happy valentines day to the fellow cupioromantics out there :3
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nomaishuttle · 1 year
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guys remind me to watch la bamba later
#nicha said i should watch it#also nichas my beat friend thank gd for nicha. shes like the only irl person ive talked abt it with#and shes like . no you arent overreacting r you crazy . which makes me feel a LOT better#im so sad shes leaving thi :[[ she keeps telling me t move t great wolf lodge with her JFNFJFBF#and she said that if i ever need a ride to a job interview or a drs appt or anything like that t just ask. shes my bestiee#she has a yojnger sister my age (18 (nicha is 25 BTW) but her sister sucks so nicha literally said I wish you were my sister instead.#common kamille w. she also said im her favorite and i get all rhe stuff on her cart when she leaves ^-^ yay#but tbh. i might frrr look into great wolf lodge bc their starting pay is $18 dollars an hour#plus its. hotel work. which is wayy easier than apt cleaning if im being fully honest#and allegedly its closer to my house sooo...#plus. nicha fiona and i thinkk nee? r all leaving? which leaves me dee and brenda ? brother i gtg im not gonna be one of 3 housekeepers.#ik theyd hire more but i just got here i cant be like the 3rd most senior housekeeper 💀#sry 4 doxxing myself. potentially#oh also the pay here is 16 dollars an hour with literally no room for growth#brenda is housekeeping lead and she makes like. 17.#nee i think has been here almost since the place opened and she still only makes like 16.... which is insane#so ya i might look into gwl.#im mainly scareddd abt getting rides bc rn marian gives me a ride...#n like she could probably still give me a ride in the morning if im sooo niceys but likee. yk. how would i get home at da end of the day#ik i should just suck it up and ask my roommates bc kate is rly nice and prolly wouldnt mind but. gets scared... she also works closing#shifts so she wouldnt be able t bring me home. lily works a ton of different shifts so its not rly a reliable thang so i cant ask her#plus.everything. and then hal . yeah obvious reasons hes not giving me a ride LOL
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hussyknee · 2 years
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i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes
(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)
Lmaoooo
Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:
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But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:
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Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.
Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.
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Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)
As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.
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It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂
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Link to post.
Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.
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Link to post (tags mine).
Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3
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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.
found by @thepotch
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Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?
Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️
Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.
Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.
Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.
Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!
Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC
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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.
Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)
Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)
Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)
Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)
Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday
As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.
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Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:
Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page
Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting
Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)
Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)
Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)
Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from
Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)
Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀
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End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3
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Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:
More trailers!
Trailer 1 (My favourite)
Trailer 2
Trailer 3
Trailer 4
I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.
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It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.
Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!
And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.
YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:
InformOverlord (4:30)
Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)
End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.
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🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)
tw: unreality:
We did it you guys!
Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.
Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️
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yourfavoritehouseplant · 10 months
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I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document
As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.
The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)
The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.
He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times
He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good
He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”
He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”
Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5
The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person. 
He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”
He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual
Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom
His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along
There are no citations
Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.
Part 1: Intro
This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:
0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.
1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido
4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)
As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime
Part 2: Part 1
(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)
Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01
Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40
6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga. 
7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.
9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)
9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons
10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom. 
He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done. 
11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.
13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.
14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)
Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.
14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women
16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.
Part 3: Part 2
17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me. 
The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?
You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.
Part 4: Part 3
Here’s where the reading falls apart folks
At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World. 
This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical
This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.
I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.
24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care
After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him. 
28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)
This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase
And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.
Part 5: Part 4
Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.
32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.
Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show
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Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character. 
33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?
Part 6: Part 5
This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.
38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.
38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”. 
38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance”  THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???
39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.
Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.
At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand
Part 7: Part 6
42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami
46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince
48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim
Part 8: Part 7
54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along. 
In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.
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alicentofhightower · 1 month
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being the targtower’s youngest sister would include…
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pairings: platonic!alicent hightower x daughter!reader, platonic!aegon targaryen x sister!reader, platonic!helaena targaryen x sister!reader, platonic!aemond targaryen x sister!reader
synopsis: what it’s like to be the youngest daughter of the green queen.
includes: reader being the only somewhat normal targtower, i went overboard on aegon’s are we surprised, might be ooc, sorry for how short alicent’s is i wasn’t feeling much inspo for her
a/n: one of my favorite things about alicent’s dynamic with her children is that they all represent a part of her: aegon, being used for politics, helaena, her innocence that she used to have, and aemond, her rage and thirst for power. so i decided to have reader represent alicent’s devotion to her family and her “duty”. hotd is so weird abt character ages so for my sanity aegon is 20, helaena is 18, aemond is 17, and reader is 16 in this. forget daeron pls
Alicent
Alicent has incredibly complicated relationships with her children. They are mirrors of her anguish, but her blood nonetheless. She will protect you and your siblings with her life, if necessary, but she also cannot look you in the eye without a pit of guilt settling in her stomach.
She feels nauseous when Viserys has you betrothed to a Lord from the Crownlands, but apart of her is satisfied with the match, though only because it means you will be allowed to stay in the Red Keep instead of leaving her.
She is just as gentle as she is with Helaena as she is with you. You are one of the only good things that have come from her. She cherishes you. When word of your pregnancy spreads through the Keep, Alicent orders an abundance of maternity gowns for you from Myr. She will always, without fail, offer you a guiding hand when going up large sets of stairs.
By all means, she is not a perfect mother, but she does what she can. She gifts you lots of her own accessories, like the hairnet she wore during Aegon’s second nameday celebration. Helaena is her “dearest love”, and you are her “sweetness.”
Trying to include you in her own private matters is one of the only ways she can spend time with you. She takes you to the Sept with her when she can, though her eyes are always averted from you.
That is one of the other strange things you’ve noticed about your mother; she can never make eye contact with you. Perhaps it is because you are with child just as she was at your age.
When the time comes, she cannot be by your side to hold your hand while you give birth. It’s improper. But she is overjoyed that both you and your son are healthy.
— “You have done well, my sweetness,” Your mother whispers, voice soft and melancholic and warm. Grand Maester Orwyle, bless him, had propped you up on great plush pillows after you’d finished your labors. He’d quietly congratulated you and helped you get comfortable in your bed, then had left you to rest.
She sits on the edge of your mattress, right by your side, thumb gingerly tracing your cheek. The forest green she’s clad in brings out the auburn of her hair. “The babe is a beautiful one. A handsome son for the realm. I am… proud of you.”
Articulating her thoughts has never been her strong point. It is the hour of the owl now. The only sounds you can hear are the padding of raindrops against the tall windows in your chambers and the crackling of the hearth.
“Aegon’s birth came quick for me as well,” She mutters, almost to herself. Peculiarly, she clings to the little ways you are alike to one another; they are fading as the days pass by. Her brows furrow as her mind begins to race.
Your firstborn sons’ births had come with ease. You were both married off far too early in your lives. In girlhood, you had both favored naive stories of brave knights and pretty ladies and romance. You both committed yourself to duty to further the family—
She stops the list she’s making in her head there. Far more resolutely than before, as if putting a wall around herself again, she kisses your forehead and retracts into herself.
“I shall leave you be. Good night.”
Aegon
For Aegon, news of a new sibling is unsurprising. It’s the same old thing to see his mother waddling around the castle, belly swollen. He’s a little indifferent when you’re born.
As a teen, though, Aegon is certainly the type to smack you a bit too hard in the training yard and then shush you, begging for you to hit him just as hard before you wail too loud and one of your mother’s handmaidens hear and alert her of it.
It makes him feel shameful, the first time you see him drunk, stinking of the whores of Flea Bottom and sweat. You promise to not tell anyone of it, if he, in exchange, does not do it again. He still does. You still do not tell.
After the events of Driftmark, you are the one to cut his hair short. Seeing Aemond bloody and bruised had frightened you, caused you to weep in front of the crowd in the great hall, and you’d tearfully asked Aegon if you could sleep in his bed together that night. He forces you to help him trim his waves the next morning as “repayment”, though he did not actually mind it.
You grow closer as you become older. To Aegon, you are the only one who has a semblance of faith in him; your mother was constantly repulsed by him, as was your grandsire and own father. Aemond had given up on him a long, long time ago, and Helaena focused on the children far more.
On his better days, Aegon likes to fly on your dragons together. Seeing you windswept and almost free is strangely satisfying for him; he misses when you both hadn’t been burdened by what your parents had put on you. In the dead of night, he likes to imagine what life would have been like if he hadn’t been forced to marry Helaena, and you your “fat, old husband”, as he put it.
Speaking of, he’d made a great fuss at your wedding. That was the angriest he’d ever saw you; he’d drunk himself half to death at the celebration afterward, made a fool of himself when he got into a fist fight with one of your husband’s brothers. Even the bards had stopped singing to stare at the spectacle. You’d almost lost your voice that night from how loud you’d yelled at him, asking when he’d ever think of anyone but himself, cheeks flushed from deep embarrassment.
“You know of my apprehension when it comes to large events such as these, and yet you cannot steel yourself for one night for my sake? What will you do when Jaehaera is married? Light the castle aflame?”
(You do not know the reason he’d done such a thing was to make such a big scene your consummation ceremony would be an afterthought. That, and the fact he was drunk and angry.)
Some part of him feels guilty when you get pregnant. He knows, deep down, that he had no part in it, and he could not control your fate, no matter if his efforts were weak or strong. But he was still your elder brother, was he not?
One day, while you sit in a rocking chair and he plays with the twins in their nursery, you tell him, “I should like for my son to be like you.” Aegon says, quietly, that yours will be better than he ever was, with you as his mother. He vanishes back into the Street of Silk soon after that.
One of his best qualities is being able to make light of anything, and he does just that after your labors, laughing at how disheveled you are and kissing your forehead. It’s hard not to laugh with him.
Days later, at his coronation, you are the first he looks to for approval, after your mother. The subtle nod you give him makes him wonder how you would’ve reacted if he had been successful in running to Essos. He hopes neither Aemond or Cole told you of what he’d said.
After becoming king, Aegon grows to value your input more and more. On his council, he feels you are the only one to genuinely listen to his concerns and thoughts when it comes to winning the war, and so he ignores the disapproving looks the men around him give him when you come to the meetings.
He does not mention your dragon when discussing battle plans, almost seems to ignore it when Lord Jasper brings you up; your dragon is great and strong, and he knows he will have to utilize you one day, but he refuses to think of it until it’s absolutely necessary. His mind has already been spoiled by what he has seen in brothels and taverns, and he imagines it will only further be by the sights of war. Aegon will do everything he can to avoid what happened to him happening to you.
The assassins Daemon hired infiltrate the Red Keep. They kill his son, leave with his head in a sack. Aegon rages and drinks and rages. He will not allow even you to see his tears, but he cannot stop them from soaking the cloth of your dress when you hug him tenderly, as if afraid he’ll slip through your hands like sand.
Bile floods into his mouth when Otto suggests wheeling his son’s body through the city to secure the approval of the smallfolk. The image of you insisting on going instead of his mother is burned into his brain. “If you will force Helaena, then at least spare Mother and allow me to go,” You’d begged. It does nothing.
As foolish as he can be, Aegon is also not one to forget what others have done for him. You were the only one who’d taken his side against your grandfather. He is glad he was not forced to marry you, glad that he did not force you to a brothel as he did Aemond; he is glad that he has not ruined you.
Aegon’s visits to your child become less and less frequent. He loves the boy dearly, like he’s his own, but he cannot stand to look at him. It’s only a reminder of what happened to his little Jaehaerys.
Rook’s Rest destroys him. He does not even need to tell you that it was Aemond who did it, you just seem to know. There is no way for him to verbalize that he is listening to you while he is in his milk-of-the-poppy induced coma, but he does appreciate the stories you tell him while sitting at his bedside.
He specifically forbids you from looking at him while the Maesters change out his bandages, but he’ll allow you to sit on the other end of his bed with your back to him and hold his unburnt hand while they do so.
— “I feel a monster,” He admits to you one night while you light a candle on the stand next to his bed. You’re clad in a warm nightgown; many whisper that winter is coming, and it’s hard not to notice with how cold the breezes have been lately.
“Why is that?”
“You know why.”
You can’t even fight the scoff that comes from you, and you turn back to him with a frown etched deeply into your face. “You should not. You are king.”
Aegon rolls his eyes. “That did not stop our cunt of a brother from burning me like the Conqueror did Harrenhal.”
Huffing, you smooth out your dress, then walk to the other side of the bed and slowly crawl on. You’re careful not to move around too much, so as to not cause him any more injury, and sit next to him, back against the headboard. You bring your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around your legs. His eyes are slightly glossy when they meet yours.
He takes a sharp breath. “…If it had been my decision, I would have named you regent.”
You laugh incredulously at that, shaking your head. “They set aside Mother for Aemond. They would have forced you to do the same.”
Aegon raises his remaining silver brow. “I am not as feeble and weak-minded as Father. I speak truly. It is you I trust the most.”
Helaena
Helaena is perhaps the least expressive out of all of your siblings, but even she felt happy when Mother’s babe had come a girl.
She does genuinely appreciate that you do not judge her and make fun of her behind her back; she has never felt like she has been able to fit in with her ladies-in-waiting.
As mature as she is, Helaena does like to indulge girlishly sometimes; she enjoys matching her gowns with you, as well as hairstyles and (light, so as to not overstimulate her) jewelry.
Observant and introspective, Helaena also has a great memory. If you tell her you’ve had a fascination with direwolves as of late, or have particularly enjoyed reading about Valyrian history, suddenly the dresses she gifts you will subtly be embroidered with subtle little wolf icons or ancient Valyrian imagery. She is very thoughtful.
Unbeknownst to most, she also gives very good advice. There have only been a handful of times her council has not helped you. Wise and empathetic, she is, and she is always willing to listen to you explain your troubles while she plays with one of her bugs.
It pains her to see you inflicted with the same fate as she was; married off to a man you had no love for, forced to be his incubator. Just as it was during Aegon’s coronation, her head is bowed at your wedding. She does not want to look at your doom.
Despite this, she is perhaps the most supportive of you during your pregnancy; she likes suggesting names for the babe as well as crafting him little clothes for him to wear when he is born.
Although you do not understand her prophecies, it does quell her anxieties a bit that you at least listen to them instead of dismissing them like all else do.
When noise gets to be too much for her, you are the first to cover her ears with your hands, guiding her to the lush gardens of the Keep to breathe. You are the only person she has a likeness of boundaries with; when she does not want to be touched, you leave her be. It’s why you are the sibling she is fondest of.
Her hand immediately flies to grasp yours when Meleys erupts from the boards at Aegon’s coronation. The look on her face had confused you. She’d appeared fearful, but simultaneously also put at ease, as if she’d known that this was going to happen.
After Blood and Cheese, she cannot find rest at night. She takes to pacing about the Red Keep, almost looking like a ghost; pale and silver and paranoid. Despite the fact that it distracts you from your own slumber, you insist on her staying in your chambers with you. She still paces, never sleeps. Some nights you even walk with her around the castle.
— “This one will not live,” She blurts out randomly, interrupting you from one of your tangents, confusing you. She never interrupts you, always listens to whatever your qualms are for the day without complaint.
“What?”
You feel like you’re about to burst; partly from the grand lamb you had for your midday meal and from how heavy the babe in your belly feels. She seems surprised that the words had actually come out of her mouth.
She pushes her face closer to the fly she has somehow managed to capture in her palm, a perturbed glint in her eye. “I do not think this one will survive.”
You decide to indulge her, tilting your head to the side from where you sit across from her, lounging on a velvet sofa. “Why is that?”
“The art of the spider is subtle. It shall trap another in its web.”
(Later that day, you can only wonder if she was speaking of Lord Vaemond after he’d been beheaded by Prince Daemon from behind.)
Aemond
Aemond can barely remember the day you were born, much less the day a celebration had been held for Mother’s pregnancy.
Alike to his siblings, Aemond is not one to forget what you did for him when you were children; how you always offered to take him on rides on your dragon before he’d claimed Vhagar, how you were the only one uninvolved in the “pink dread” incident, how you cried for him after he lost his eye.
After the loss of his eye, Aemond begins to put a wall around himself. Unfortunately, that does include you. Before Driftmark, you were closest with him, but afterward, you had slowly drifted toward Aegon; nevertheless, he shows his affection for you in his own way.
However, he does keep the little gifts you’ve given him over the years safely hidden in his chambers, away from the eyes of curious maids and servants, like the eyepatch you’d embroidered a little Vhagar in in the weeks after his eye was cut out.
When Vaemond’s head is cut off, Aemond immediately places a hand on the pommel of his sword, lest Daemon himself attack you next. When he becomes regent, he is the one who orders you to be given a sworn protector. He is the one who’d help you learn Valyrian when you struggled, even after all your lessons.
Aemond never, never shows much affection to anyone in the family publicly, but he doesn’t mind it if you place a hand on his forearm or his own hand. He prefers it if you keep things like cheek or forehead kisses private in the sanctity of your or his own room.
In his immediate family, you are perhaps the most normal of all, which does make him seek out your company the most. The mornings after he seeks out Madame Sylvi’s assistance are the mornings he spends the most time with you. The shame of it all almost eats him alive, and you are a welcome distraction.
Additionally, the one-eyed prince does genuinely appreciate how you show your devotion to the family, though of course he’d never verbalize it. Almost every training yard session he has, you sit on the balcony, embroidering a dress or two while he swings his sword at Criston’s morningstar.
Your wedding to some old Crownlands lord was a memorable one, mostly because of when Aegon had pinned your new brother-by-law to a table and began beating him senselessly. Aemond was the one who had pried him off, mercilessly tugging him by the collar of his doublet away from the man.
You become pregnant quick. Aemond says that when your son is born, he will bring him to meet Vhagar himself, stating that a “new Targaryen babe should learn the ways of his predecessors”.
As the moons pass by, the Maesters order you to bedrest. Your elder brother likes to visit during his free time, sometimes bringing a book with him to read or nothing, just to converse with you quietly. You are the only “quiet” Aemond has ever known.
When Rhaenys bursts through the boards at Aegon’s coronation, Aemond’s palm finds your wrist, gently grasping it with his long fingers.
Just as your mother does, you begin to shun Aemond after Luke’s murder. It does not make him resent you as much as it does Alicent, but it does make him spiral a bit quicker.
Many a time have you slept in Aemond or Aegon’s bed because of nightmares. The only time he’s ever slept in yours was the night Aegon had found him in the brothel with Sylvi. You had not been awake when he’d crawled into bed with you, just laying beside you and shutting his eye. He makes sure to leave before you wake. Aemond does not know that you were quite aware of his presence, but had chosen not to say anything. If Aemond of all people had decided to find sleep in your bed, something awful must’ve happened. Why take that moment of respite from him?
He knows that you know he burned Aegon, but he does not ever bring it up in a conversation with you, much less acknowledge it. However, Aemond is observant. He notices the fearful glint in your eye when he is around you, now, but this is what he has always wanted, has he not? To rule?
— Aemond is with you the morn after Blood and Cheese, standing in one of the Red Keep’s balconies as you watch the wagon carrying your mother and Helaena depart. Your eyes are sunken in from crying, cheeks swollen; you wear a veil of mourning yourself, though there is no crown settled on your head. The way you lean over the railing to peer at the ground, the way your back is hunched, the way you grieve so openly.. it does not befit a princess. It does not befit someone from the Targaryen family, someone who is supposed to use honeyed words and cunning tricks to protect themself from the environment of King’s Landing.
You sniffle. “Where were you?”
Aemond’s eye goes wide. A deep pit was already settled in his stomach, but it only seems to get worse at your questioning. Even his throat seems to tighten up, make it impossible for him to even choke out an answer.
“When news of… the boy spread,” You begin, “I went to find you myself. But you were not in your chambers, nor in the library. Where were you?”
“Patrolling.” It’s an obvious lie. He regrets it the moment it comes out of his mouth, jaw clenching immediately. There was no use in patrolling at night, when he could barely see anything. His hand unconsciously squeezes the stone railing.
He’s ready to leave with haste when you nod to yourself, face blank and detached from reality. “…I won’t tell anyone,” You mutter, just loud enough for him to hear. “Wherever you were.”
811 notes · View notes
jiminjamms · 8 months
Text
sex therapy :: 26. together
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chapter tags/warnings: a very broken marriage. heavy angst. at least i am not gege. mai and maki and megumi as an iconic trio. infidelity/adultery. family drama. strong language. corruption. 
word count: 4.8k
notes: thank you for the overwhelming reception from the last chapter! work has been consuming my life, sadly, which is why this chapter took longer than i anticipated. gr. in this upcoming piece, though, my main focuses are the character development in y/n as well as explanations from toji himself. enjoy! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo
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A large, warm hand massaged the delicate stretch between your thumb and forefinger. 
Gently. Leisurely. Daintily. 
Vanilla and cinnamon notes entered your lungs with every inhale, a velvetiness akin to everything you imagined clouds to be like if brushing against your cheek, the comforting sensations bringing back nostalgic memories from the carefree times your heart longed to return to. 
Was this Heaven? you wondered in this dark and dreamy daze.
You would not mind staying in this state eternally if that meant the promise of peace and quiet forever.
A voice, not from yourself, dispersed your thoughts.
“Suguru, what are the chances she won’t ever wake up?” 
Wake up?
Oh, so you were just asleep.
“Shut up, Sukuna,” another person quipped, this tone more leveled and coarser than the last. “Don’t say shit like that.”
The first person, who must be Sukuna then, chuckled lowly to himself. “Oh, who would’ve thought? Choso is having a soft spot?” he marveled with great interest, “Since when did you care so much about—”
But a third voice interrupted the banter. “She’s awake.”
After a long struggle, your eyes fluttered open to see a crowd gathered around you. Immediately beside you was Suguru Geto. He had been the one nestling your hand, but he practically didn’t look like himself with the concern etched into his brow, replacing the cheerfulness in his typical visage. Behind him stood Sukuna and Choso. The former grinned with fierce satisfaction, while the latter…scowled at you?
To be fair, Choso always scowled at you.
“Good evening, gorgeous.” Geto greeted with a melancholic smile, giving you another squeeze, firm and encouraging. Like a true gentleman, he helped you sit upright, his other hand reaching over your head to brush aside some stray strands by your forehead. “Are you feeling okay?” 
Exhaustion, meanwhile, rattled you to the bone.
You were weak, your movements fragile, almost like you were a fawn in her first hours of life. You blinked rapidly while taking in the new environment, only to quickly recognize the gray and cream colors in your surroundings. Back at Toji’s apartment was where you found yourself, with the familiar spiced floral scents from the flickering candle nearby confirming that this was the master bedroom. 
Given the dull throb by your temples, you frowned.
“What—?” your voice came out as a hoarse rasp. “What happened?”
The trio traded looks at each other with communicative eyes.
In the end, Choso tucked his hands into his front pocket and took the initiative to speak. 
“You were in the Zenin residence with Mai and Maki, remember?” No, not really.“Got into an argument with your husband. Started having a panic attack. Collapsed. Puked.”
Oh…
Recollections from your last conscious moments flooded your head like a tsunami: the screaming, the crying, and the fighting. Loud, angry, bitter fighting. 
Fighting for your dignity. Fighting for your heart. Fighting for your life. Goodness gracious. As much as the memories sucked all life from you, you instead felt completely…numb. 
After all, you had already been dead on the inside. You were too worn out, both physically and emotionally, to react. Everything that you had to go through since your wedding had brought you to your wit’s end, and this recent altercation with Naoya Zenin was truly the icing on the cake. 
When you caught sight of yourself in a nearby mirror, you could hardly recognize yourself. Your expression, glum. Your lips, chafed, Your face, pallor. Absent of any other color than an ashen hue. 
“How…did I get here?”
“Mai and Maki got worried and called Toji, who told them to bring you here,” Sukuna answered this time. “You’re lucky the girls reacted fast, else we would have sent you to an emergency room. Suguru even stopped his shift at his clinic to watch over you.”
“I—,” you sighed, lost for words and dropping your tired gaze to the floor. Dealing with inner turmoil to this degree was more than what any sane person could handle. All efforts towards your happiness were in vain anyway, as the cosmos conspired to make your existence one neverending nightmare. Everyone else had their ambitions and shit to deal with, but here you were as an absolute nuisance to the people who should not be otherwise pestered, and you were ashamed for the unnecessary trouble that you had caused. “Gosh, this is embarrassing.”
“We are so sorry!” 
Unexpectedly, the apology came from a girl’s voice, and you had to turn around to see three familiar teenagers by the bedroom door. 
Just last week, you would never have imagined ever seeing Mai, Maki, and Megumi together. Yet, here you were, watching the twins and their—technically speaking—nephew (cute) standing side-by-side, twiddling their thumbs in their nervous corner (also cute). 
Flustered and prepared for admonishment, Mai bowed her head at a slight angle as she hurriedly explained, “We don’t…We don’t mean to put you in an awkward position. We just didn’t know what to do. Maki and I were worried when you fell to the floor and started throwing up. We…We should’ve asked for your permission on who to call for help. But we didn’t know who else to phone, so we ended up dialing Toji. Now, we’ve put you in a weird spot and that is all our fault—”
“Do not apologize. That was the right thing to do.” The comment came from yet another person, and when Sukuna and Choso stepped to the side, who you saw at the room’s furthest end was none other than Toji Fushiguro himself. 
He had taken a seat all the way by the wall, with one leg thrust over the other in a relaxed but kingly sort of manner. With his sleeves rolled up, his forearms bled to his wrists with ink, and the emeralds in his sharp gaze gleamed as he stared pointedly in your direction. 
Of everyone in the room, his countenance appeared the most composed, but you could feelhim reading through the emotions present on your face. He inclined forward, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin on his palm. 
When he noticed the slightest shift in your posture too, the tiny scar by his lips flexed along with a smile.
“So, you’ve figured me out, hm?”
Easily, you could sense all seven pairs of eyes in the room (the four therapists plus the three teens) landing on you. The sudden attention rendered you nervous. Even if you chose silence as your response, the entire room, the entire planet, and perhaps even the entire galaxy could speculate your answer through your expression alone.
After a long while, you breathed out, “You didn’t tell me that you were a Zenin.”
The elephant in the room had to be addressed obviously, and you were not shy to confront the situation head-on.
While you did not intend to sound accusatory, your tone came off as such anyway. How could you not, when you had essentially been misled for weeks? Sure, Toji probably did not want to be badmouthing the Zenins to the very person (you) who had been recently married into the family. But, by withholding the fact that he and your husband were cousins, Toji had created much unnecessary anguish including the current limbo that your marriage was in right now. 
Meanwhile, that same man pressed his nails into his chin in contemplation. 
“I am not a Zenin, though,” he eventually corrected in a domineering voice, all austere in his throne. “At least, not any longer. I took my first wife’s last name years ago. I go by Fushiguro now.” Curt, direct, and pithy. Toji wasted not a syllable. “Everything worked out though, I guess. Naobito cut me off from the Zenin clan earlier this year. Gave me ten billion yen and told me to get lost, so I did.”
Toji always kept his private matters to himself, but with everything that he had gone through, you were struck by his poise, as if being expelled from such an influential household had been a high-school breakup he had gotten over long ago. 
Nonetheless, you wondered if he missed that other life, and you brought your knees toward your chest.
“So,” how should you put this, “you’re not upset?”
Toji scoffed immediately.
“Upset?” A bitter grin spread off his lips. “Why would I be upset? That household is a trash dump. All my life, there were no choices for me to make when my uncles and granduncles decided everything already,” and he began counting with his fingers, “my teachers, my classes, my extracurriculars, my friends. Everything. I was only a puppet to bring honor to the family name, bring in money for the company.”
Listening to his sonorous voice, you rested your cheek onto a knee.
"I see."
His story was depressing, and from conversations with in-laws such as Mai and Maki, you knew that he was not lying, either. Coming from nobility as well, you were also aware of the pressures that came with the people who boasted their 'old-money' statuses, but the Zenin household had always been notorious for being miserable. 
Toji had said so before in a prior discussion, how ‘family isn’t family for something like the Zenins’ because both politics and business took precedence.
Then, he went on.
“Some people would kill to have my problems, but I did not want that life, you know? Around the time I started college, I decided that I wanted to make judgments for myself and be my own distinct entity, but that made people upset. Privileged. Entitled. Ungrateful. Whatever. My family members called me many things as a young adult when they figured I did not want to be their pawn for my whole life, with the only person who understood me for many years being my best friend in university.”
Megumi’s mom.
Toji nearly appeared to be an altogether different person whenever he spoke about his first wife. The chartreuse in his eyes would stir with both sorrow and fond reminiscence as he thought about the Mrs. Fushiguro you would never get to meet, his closest confidant whom he lost to the cruel separation brought by life versus death. She must have been someone whom he valued a lot—a person who completely transformed him—as Toji had discarded his last name (which was Zenin, of all things) for hers.
‘He truly loved my mom,’ Megumi explained before. 'He had given up everything.’
Thus, fate could truly be unfair.
The loss and pain Toji must have endured, a topic Megumi had alluded to in his discussion with you before.
Not to mention, the expectations, frustration, and suffocation that came from the clan's elders, too. Experiencing the intense atmosphere in the Zenin household firsthand allowed you to empathize with him. Given the stark differences between him and your lawful husband, there was no wonder Toji did not wish to deal with his older relatives' high-strung conventions.
But, if he had been suffering so much… 
“Why did you care so much for what your family thought?” you asked, disregarding the look that the three teenagers by the door exchanged with each other. “Toji, you went to university in the United States. You had a wife and son at a young age. You went from a business background to a licensed therapist, so why did you not—”
“Leaving is difficult when you’re the family heir and the corporation’s CEO.” 
The expression that you then returned was blank.
Huh?
His words triggered something in your head, so you repeated after him.
“Leaving is difficult when,” and your voice trailed off, “when…you…are the heir and CEO.”
Heir. CEO.
Zenin.
Toji.
Naoya.
But Toji’s older.
‘Naoya got into a huge dispute with him earlier this year.’
Sheer realization slapped you hard across your face. No way.
“Toji,” you began after letting the revelation sink into you a while later, but your voice barely eeked above a mumble, “so you were once the successor to the Zenin household and company?"
The man in question did not respond, but the silent affirmation from the six other onlookers was an answer in itself.
Yes.
In hindsight, you wanted to say you had always seen the possibility. Still, you never fully registered this until now: the thoughtfulness in his strategy, the sophistication in his speech, the charisma in his leadership. 
Previously, Toji had impressed you with how much he knew about the Zenin Corporation’s market share in the Asia-Pacific or the firm’s outsized influence on the international stage. Yet, most (including yourself) would not guess that someone like Toji Fushiguro—your tattooed and brawny sex therapist (plus single dad)—had once been heralded as the indisputable inheritor to the proud lineage and conglomerate. 
That had been your mistake. 
Toji was more than what people made him out to be, which reminded you to never assume anything superficially about someone—a remark he had once made. For good reason, because he had been referring to himself all along.
You could almost visualize Toji Fushiguro as the seasoned executive he had once been in light of this new information: his black strands slicked into a side part, his charcoal blazer freshly pressed, his leather oxfords newly polished. 
Maybe because he was more mature or maybe because he was simply older, but Toji appeared more fitting for the important roles in the Zenin household compared to the man presently poised for succession. 
Consequently, you must also ask, “Then, how did Naoya end up in your seat?”
Sukuna and Megumi shared a glance.
Choso grimaced, and Suguru kissed his teeth.
Meanwhile, Toji ran a lone finger down his jaw, following the lines from a tattoo. 
“Let me give you some context, sweetheart,” he offered, now brushing his chin as he spoke. “For the last—let’s say—few hundred years, the oldest male in each generation became the leader in the Zenin clan. Is the rule stupid? Yes. Should there be more criteria in evaluating a potential heir aside from birth order? Also yes. But nothing has stopped this before because the Zenins, as you know by now, are a family built on antiquity and tradition. So, when I was born as the oldest male in my generation and Naoya had come in second place...” 
Toji did not have to finish his sentence for you to figure out the rest.
Despite the demands that came along with being the next family head, Toji must have been esteemed as nothing short of a crown price among the Japanese elite, with seniors in the Zenin household utilizing all their resources to prepare the once young and starry-eyed boy for taking over such an influential role. Naturally, his enviable position would spark jealousy, even from those whom Toji deemed related to by birth.
Including his very own younger first cousin.
Toji frowned in exasperation.
“Your husband is one childish and jealous brat, but Naoya Zenin has been like that for as long as I have known him. To claim the heir and CEO titles, he acquired the trust from myself and my colleagues by working with us in sex therapy, only to stab us all in the back. He’s a liar. A total manipulator.” 
And, from personal experiences, you knew that those words could not be more true.
At this point, Toji sank his handsome face into his immense palm. 
“Well, now Naoya Zenin has everything he wants but is still an incompetent asshole. The whole enterprise is hanging by a thread. The entire clan cannot fucking stand him. What’s crazy is that his father Naobito is not doing anything about this, and I cannot tell if that is because the old man is giving his son free passes or because he has finally gotten senile. With Naoya's pettiness, though, the father-son duo have done everything to erase my name from the family, even going as far as to dismiss the executives that I brought onto the management team to undo my legacy.” 
When Toji glanced up to cast his gaze forward, you then suddenly understood that the three other men in the room were more than just his fellow board-licensed colleagues.
You recalled Toji’s words in the Teyvat meeting room.
‘I recruited these guys right when they completed their undergraduate degrees, around the time I just opened my therapy office,’ and the puzzle pieces clicked into place from the realization that sex therapy had not been the only thing that Toji had worked with them on—Sukuna, Choso, and Suguru had been executives at the Zenin Corporation reporting to Toji, too. ‘We’ve been working together since, for the past four years.’
Discerning these revelations from your expressions, Toji added in confirmation.
“I had selected these three to oversee the Zenin Corporation’s operations with me,” he said, and you remembered the same conversation in which the men discussed their University of Tokyo studies while Toji listed their previous roles. Sukuna, Economics. “Sukuna, Director of Investments and Real Estate.” Choso, Mechanical Engineering. “Choso, Chief Engineer and Supply Chain Manager.” Suguru, Biology. “Suguru, Healthcare and Innovation Administrator.”
Arguably the most consequential divisions in a conglomerate that spanned numerous sectors, with each department bringing in yen by the billions every year.
‘These guys have treated me like family more than my blood-related kin have.’
Learning this about the four therapists added to your fascination. 
For you, the discovery was like uncovering a hidden treasure trove. To imagine everything that the four—as one cohesive unit—had gone through together at the top of the corporate ladder: scrutiny from the media and stakeholders, impromptu meetings that demanded make-or-break decisions, and immediate responses to industry trends and regulations. 
Only for them to be cast aside by no one other than your husband.
In the end, this all made sense.
Now, you understood why the therapists were once incredibly demeaning and belligerent toward you. How could they possibly sympathize with the woman married to the man who had taken virtually everything from them? 
Heck, if you were in their shoes and had no further context, you would hate yourself, too.
Only now were you hearing their perspectives, and you were grateful that—compared to several weeks before—they trusted you enough to open up. 
At last, all you could do was sigh and mutter, “I’m sorry.” 
“For what?” 
Sukuna shot back without hesitation, which stunned you given how he had been the one who mocked you the most. Yet, a scintilla of kindness flared in his fiery eyes, so you continued with your tone softer and quieter.
“I feel terrible.” Such vulnerability in front of so many people at once went beyond your comfort zone. “For the unfairness Naoya had brought upon you all, and how I…I can’t change anything. I can’t do anything. All I am is…useless.”
“No, you are powerful,” Suguru interjected this time. “Your husband relies on your public image to keep scrutiny off him. He needs you. He’s been demoralizing you for months because he knows the ball will always be in your court, and never his.”
His words made you stop.
“You truly think so?” you asked.
“Yes.” 
Choso, who replied, seemed honest. 
He was honest. 
He might throw you off from how aloof and stoic his attractive face would appear, but Choso was not a liar.
Bringing your feet off the bed, you slowly swung your feet. 
“I…am surprised you all even want to talk to me.” 
Toji tugged at his dress shirt’s collar and flashed his ink-covered muscles underneath. “What makes you think that?” 
His pointed question made you realize how much Naoya had been fucking with your mind, blaming and villainizing you at every chance, thus devolving you into a spineless worm feeling remorse for every little thing.
Shrugging, you tossed your gaze to the side. 
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “You could have avenged yourself by now. I am Naoya’s wife and Naobito’s daughter-in-law. There had been a thousand chances for you to do something horrible to me: to hurt me, blackmail me, spread dirty rumors about me, but…you haven’t.”  
“Why would I do that?” Toji replied instantly and candidly. Rather than appearing offended by your judgments, he started giving you that look again whenever he had his therapist hat on—the one where he would tilt his head at a slight angle to gauge the sentiments painted across your face. “I could have chosen to be bitter and vengeful for the rest of my life, but I am grateful for what I have. Why let a toxic bunch impact my life? I already told you how that household is an absolute fucking hell. I'm glad I have found an out. At the very least, my son would not have to deal with the crap from my young adult years because you know who is the oldest male in the generation after mine?”
Megumi. 
All gazes now fell upon the younger Fushiguro, who tried to casually shrug the attention off. 
Who cares if I was second-in-line to leading perhaps the most prestigious family in Japan? his nonchalance wanted to convey, but his ears turned pink anyway.  
Toji continued, “Then, of course, there are some people whom I care about a lot.” Using his head, he gestured to the twins. “These girls are the best aunts to my son that I, as a father, could ever ask for. They’re only one year older than Megumi, but Mai and Maki used to go on playdates with him on the weekends, walk him to school every morning, and cook him breakfasts over the holidays. The twins even helped my son take his first steps. There is this one photo we have in the library—I don’t know if you have gotten a chance before to see it. But there’s Mai and Maki, each holding one of Megumi’s little hands back in his chubby toddler days and—” 
“Dad!” a very flustered and irritated teenage boy finally had to say. “This is not the time to talk about that picture!” 
Next to him, a proud Mai and Maki coo and tease their grouchy nephew, poking at his puffed-up cheeks and ruffling his uncombed hair. 
“Aw, is someone a little embarrassed?”
Smiling at the little banter from the trio, Toji did not let them distract him from his conversation with you. “What I’m trying to get at is…life’s too short not to enjoy the happy sides of it,” but his eyes glazed with rue nevertheless, “Now is the perfect time to focus on your well-being. Take a look around this room. A lot of people want to see you leading a fulfilling life, Y/N. A fulfilling life for yourself, not for anyone else. Not for me, not for anyone in this room, and certainly not for your husband. Nothing—and I mean absolutely nothing—should hold you back from pursuing your health and happiness.” 
While you assumed that your best times were over, Toji reminded you those good days can be brought back with the right attitude. He had a point. Why should you allow your marriage to hinder you from connecting with people whom you care about, working towards the passions that brought you purpose, and feeling the love that you deserve? 
Instead, you should seek every sunrise and sunset as an opportunity to live better and without regrets.
As you ruminated on this different mindset, a sudden knock from the door cut your thoughts short.
Who…
Like you, most others looked around blankly, but Toji ordered from his seat, “Let him in.”
Mai, who stood closest to the entryway, obeyed. 
Once she unlocked the door, the room fell silent save for the footsteps of the man walking in, his soles creating soft echoes on the linoleum floor. Overhead, pale lights revealed the lines etched on his exhausted face, the worry that sat heavily on his chest. 
“Mister Daisuke,” someone eventually acknowledged out of respect.
Your father did not hear the greeting as he searched the room, his sullen gaze darting from face to face until he found you. His shoulders fell from his overwhelming relief. Still in a suit after a long workday, he stumbled forward feebly. 
“You’re alright,” he whispered between steps, scarcely audible. 
He crouched toward the floor once he approached you, and when Suguru transferred your hands into your father’s, you noticed the unstoppable quiver from the latter even as you gripped him tightly in an attempt to stop the tremor. 
His skin was tough, weathered by his additional decades in life. But, in his palms, you found the familiar tenderness that had comforted you since you were a little girl and, in his gaze, you noticed the sadness only found in the despair of a heartbroken parent.
“Thank goodness, you are okay,” and before everyone, tears slipped past his eyes, “I was terrified. I was so scared. When Toji called to tell me you had thrown up and collapsed, do you know how afraid I was?” 
You glanced over at the said therapist, reminding yourself that—if Toji had been the CEO before Naoya—he must have worked very closely with your COO father up until recently. For your father to know exactly where you were and walk in with this expression suggested that the former colleagues had had a lengthy conversation about your circumstances. A part of you wanted to be angry. Why drag your father into this worry? But a larger part of you had always wanted to reveal to him the wretched months that had gone by and longed for his support. 
And now, he was here.
The older man took a shuddering breath and brought his fingers to your cheek, holding and cradling you like he would never get to do this again. 
“I can’t lose you,” he lamented. “I have lost enough in my life already. I cannot lose you, too. I just can’t. Why have you not told me the truth? If you were not happy with Naoya, why have you not told me sooner? Did you think I would place my loyalty to the company over my own child? I feel so guilty and broken to hear about what you have been going through.”
Frankly, you felt just as broken, too. 
In fact, seeing and hearing your father weep like this shattered you. As devoted as your father was, his front never failed to be unwavering and strong. Even when your mother’s death left a significant hole in his heart, he bit back his grief. Scars from your mother’s untimely death scarred his heart, wounds that never healed and would stay with him until his last breath, but he rarely expressed his suppressed sorrow. 
All for your sake. Because you were his one and only daughter, his one and only child. 
So now, for him to see you in such a sorry state was crushing his whole world that had become you.
“Dad.” You helped him wipe his tears away, just like how he had always done for you. “I didn’t want to make you disappointed. I didn’t want to make you sad. I…I just wanted to protect you.”
“No,” he responded firmly. How could a loving father accept the possibility that his daughter would even think about placing him before herself? “Protect yourself first.”
You looked up when you sensed two more approaching individuals and found Mai and Maki with doleful smiles.
“We still have something to return to you, Y/N.”
In your left palm, each girl pressed one ring—the first which promised a future forever and the second which symbolized an infinite unity. 
You stared at the jewelry as your chest remembered the waves of happiness, excitement, hope, confusion, betrayal, and pain. 
So, so much pain.
Your father, who would not miss the solemn undertones in your gaze, squeezed your hands in his. 
“My dear daughter,” he started, and you could tell he could no longer bear to see you suffer any longer, “what are you planning to do?”
Your throat turned dry.
Any possibility seemed like a viable solution, a means for a desperate escape. 
For months, you should have prepared yourself for this very question, but now that you were confronted with this reality for the first time, you did not know what to say. 
You had clutched onto the false hope for your troubled marriage to be sorted out. Escaping your dreary matrimony had once been too far-fetched of an option given an impending cold war between your families, which you would never wish upon the stars to happen. Therefore, even as you found yourself stuck on a stifling dead end, you did not exactly prepare for the next steps for the occasion you found Naoya Zenin’s mistreatment too much to bear.
However, times have changed.
Your allies and enemies have changed.
Most of all, you have changed.
Therefore, with all the universe’s possibilities at your fingertips, one particular option stuck out. 
“I’m going to file for a divorce.”
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last chapter || next chapter
end notes: So many things. To see us freak out at the idea of a divorce during the beginning of the fic, up to now, where we suggested the option out of our volution. Also, the much-needed heart-to-heart conversation between Toji and us, and how that really shows a slow maturation in our relationship with him (and everyone else)! Let me know what you think, and see you next chapter!
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aquaquadrant · 4 months
Note
grbbrgrr. scurries toward you. I offer thee pathbubs fluff, fresh from my mind fortress.
Patho. falling asleep with dbubs’s clock to his ear.
gives you a cupcake skitters away
(offering received, considered, and accepted. however, i have substituted your fluff for angst. i hope this is satisfactory.)
~*~
"watch this!" dbubs shouts, before leaping off the cliff into the water below.
<player>dat -7063fdce-39ac-4a12-d836-a990c45b2bb0
patho leans back just enough to avoid being splashed. the water in this jungle lagoon is clear and blue, brighter than most bodies of water he comes across. tall, thick trees surround them on all sides, creating a natural barrier from the mobs of the jungle. it’s a beautiful place, and one of his favorites to visit when he’s here.
155 fps t: inf fancy-clouds b: 15x15 3 tx 3 rx c: 695/41672 (s) d: 16, pc: 000, pu: 00, ab: 42 e: 17/109, b: 0, sd: 9 p: 28 t: 109 error fc:0 xyz: -12,683.952 / 39.11563 / 253,589.263 block: -12,683 39 253,589 chunk: -791 15 7,849 facing: south (towards positive z)(1.5/5) client light: 6 (0 sky, 6 block) biome: error:crimson jungle local difficulty: 6.75//0.00 (day error404 not found) sounds: 16/247 + 0/8
dbubs surfaces with a gasp, his wet bangs plastered to his forehead. “did you see that?” he crows. “that was- i must’ve done a- a complete 360 spin about five- no, ten times! world record, first try!”
“oh, yeah,” patho agrees with a smile he doesn’t feel. “yeah, that was very impressive.”
they’re almost out of time.
patho has known this since he woke to find a little weeping vine attempting to burrow into his arm, right at the seam where flesh meets metal. this is an event that only happens when he’s overstayed his welcome, and the jungle can no longer tolerate his presence without trying to claim him. that vine was easily removed, putting off the inevitable for a few more days. but he can’t ignore the sudden restlessness that overtakes him now, a buzzing in his very core that fills his mind with static and his limbs- organic and mechanical alike- with the powerful urge to move.
it’s hard to explain, his need to wander. it’s like every moment he’s not traveling, he can almost feel the infinite borders of hels expanding, spreading into new horizons, and the thought of staying put is unbearable. it doesn’t matter if he actually goes beyond the loaded chunks or not- a feat that’d take years, to be sure. just getting on the move again is enough to quiet the itch.
(it didn’t use to be this way. it didn’t start until after he built his communicator into his new arm, fusing himself with it- but he’ll never admit this, never confront the possibility that it might’ve been a mistake. it’s easier just to leave.)
besides, he still enjoys the various business he gets up to with the other denizens of hels. his services as a redstoner and a data analyst are in high demand, and he has a reputation to uphold. he can’t throw all that away to stay here. that just wouldn’t make sense. it wouldn��t be logical.
patho reaches for the clock at his hip. it was the first gift dbubs gave him. early into patho’s first stay, dbubs decided he needed a clock of his own, so he’d always know when it was time for them to sleep. based on its position, nightfall is only a couple hours away.
“well, c’mon!” dbubs pesters him, his haughty voice echoing off the smooth walls of the cliffside. “what’re you- what, are ya scared of a lil water? huh? just- you just try and beat my record, you- i bet you can’t!”
“alright, alright,” patho chuckles, shrugging his jacket off. “you asked for it…”
won’t be long, now.
~*~
that night, patho leaves his eye on.
dbubs, curled beside him, notices this immediately, and deep down, he knows what it means. it took a while- how long, he isn’t sure- for patho to grow comfortable enough to turn his cybernetic eye off while they slept. but ever since then, he does it every night… up until the last night. every last night, like clockwork.
already, dbubs can feel the familiar weight of sleep trying to take him. caught in the jungle’s day-night cycle, he has little choice in the matter; he sleeps every night without fail. but he fights it anyway, biting back a yawn.
“tomorrow,” dbubs starts quietly, “uh, do you wanna- i- i had this idea for a new build, a perfect build, of course, and i’m gonna need a- a super smelter, for- uh, for all the terracotta-“
“dbubs.” that solitary red eye gazes out from the dark. “you know i’m not made for staying.”
dbubs shies away from the words like an insect from sudden light. “and- and so i was thinking,” he continues, as if patho hadn’t spoken, “we could do a uh, you know, maybe a bamboo farm? for the- for the fuel? i- my perfect redstone prowess could make this easy- easily, of course, but um… i uh- euugh, you- you know they always say, sure enough, that two brains- uh, two geniuses, genii, are better’n one.”
“yeah?” patho breathes a soft, empty laugh. “is that what they say?”
“and- well, yes! yes, of course!” darkness creeps in from the edges of dbubs’s vision; he clings tighter to patho. “and… and uh… n’you can learn all ‘bout my new… new dbubs redstone clock… pat- patented design, a‘course…”
“of course.” patho’s lips brush across his forehead. “better get some rest, then.”
dbubs struggles to keep his eyes open, but it’s as if his lashes are lined with iron. he presses his face in the crook of patho’s neck, breathing him in, that redstone-and-gunpowder scent; bitter and metallic.
“don’t,” he murmurs, consciousness escaping him quickly. “please…?”
“night, dbubs.”
the jungle sleeps.
~*~
far from the jungle, patho lays down in a shallow cave carved from netherrack.
168 fps t: inf fancy-clouds b: 15x15 3 tx 3 rx c: 695/41672 (s) d: 16, pc: 000, pu: 00, ab: 42 e: 15/109, b: 0, sd: 9 p: 27 t: 109 error fc:0 xyz: -11, 987.629 / 30.91778 / 252,896.204 block: -11,987 30 252,896 chunk: -780 15 7,835 facing: east (towards positive x)(1.5/5) client light: 2 (0 sky, 2 block) biome: error:nether waste local difficulty: 6.75//0.00 (day error404 not found) sounds: 5/247 + 0/8
he’s put enough distance between himself and the jungle that he’s confident he can sleep for a few hours before setting off again. the surrounding biome is one he’s well familiar with; barren and empty. with a wall put up to shelter him from mobs, he’s finally safe enough to turn his eye off.
that won’t be the case anymore, once he gets closer to the more populated chunks. the risk of being caught with one eye nonfunctional is too high. it’s just something he has to deal with.
(of course, he could’ve built a cybernetic replacement that simply functioned like the eye he lost, but he thought himself clever and built in a data processor to provide him with valuable information, giving him an advantage over anyone else in his field. so this is the price he pays for it.)
he reaches for his clock. there’s only a couple hours left before the sun will rise, unseen beyond the bedrock ceiling, and dbubs will wake to an empty bed.
but for now, patho tucks the clock to his ear and closes his eyes, letting the steadfast ticking finally lull him to sleep.
~*~
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ahaura · 10 months
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(Nov. 18)
from CNN (Nov. 18)
Title:
CNN analysis: Video suggests IDF might have rearranged weaponry at Al-Shifa prior to news crew visits
Text:
An Israel Defense Forces video on November 15 showing a tour of Hamas weaponry found at Al-Shifa hospital shows less weaponry at the scene than in later footage filmed by international news crews, indicating the weaponry may have been moved or placed there prior to news crews arriving.   CNN compared footage published by the IDF online with footage taken by Fox News, which was granted access to the site in the hours afterwards. IDF spokesperson Lt. Col. Jonathan Conricus leads the tour in the IDF video and a watch on his arm shows the time to be 13:18.  Fox News foreign correspondent Trey Yingst later visits the scene when it is dark. He says in his report it is “the middle of the night.”  Yingst is shown a bag located behind an MRI machine inside the hospital with two AK-47 guns visible on top of it. However, the IDF video filmed earlier shows only one AK-47 gun. It is unclear where the second AK-47 gun came from and why it is not visible in the earlier IDF clip.  In the intervening hours, the IDF also posted online a photo of the weaponry purportedly found at Al-Shifa hospital. The WhatsApp file name for this photo indicates it was taken at 17:35; this places it after the IDF tour of the MRI compound but almost certainly before the Fox News crew arrive.  It is possible the weaponry was removed from the scene and replaced prior to the news crews arriving. However this does not explain why more guns are visible when the press arrive than in the original IDF video.  The BBC was also granted access to the hospital the following day, November 16, and two AK-47 guns are still visible on top of the bag inside the MRI room.  Israeli military responds: The IDF told CNN the discrepancy between the military’s own video and the BBC footage was “due to the fact that more weaponry and terrorist assets were discovered throughout the day.”  “Suggestions that the IDF is manipulating the media are incorrect,” it added. “We are acting with full transparency whilst maintaining the safety of our troops and operational readiness.” This post has been updated with the IDF's response to questions about the videos.
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shanastoryteller · 1 year
Note
Happy Birthday grandma! How about BFF WWX LXC and NMJ? Or female!MXY? Your choice🌻🌻🌻🌻🎉🎉🎉🎉
Ps. Made it?!?!
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37
Lan Xichen arrives to his brother and Xuanyu in the middle of an argument.
They’re surrounded by corpses, Xue Yang inexplicably among them, and the missing Xiao Xingchen is standing there huddled against Song Lan’s side, looking strangely small, while a blind girl stands on his other side.
Sizhui and Jingyi are staying several steps back in an attempt not to get caught in the couple’s argument.
He almost regrets leaving A-Yao behind with the rest of the disciples. It had made sense at the time, with the low but present chance that they’d run into trouble, but now he wishes he could be the one dealing with their siblings instead of him.
“-not just going to – XICHEN-GE! GET DOWN HERE!”
The disciples, who’d demanded to come along, cringe away and even send him sympathetic looks.
She only calls him Xichen-ge when she wants something. He’s pretty sure A-Yao taught her that.
He descends, jumping off his sword, and frowning when he gets a closer look at her. She has wounds around her waist and shoulder even though they seemed to have stopped bleeding and there’s a variety of colorful bruises on the bits of skin he can see on her, which means there’s even more hiding beneath her robes. “You’re injured.”
“It’s nothing,” she says dismissively. Wangji’s eyebrow twitches. “I want Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen, and A-Qing to accompany us to Koi Tower.”
He assumes A-Qing is the blind girl. “Ah.”
“It’s not proper,” Wangji says, enough irritation bleeding though that this is clearly not the first time he’s said that.
She sends him a scathing look. “We can’t send them back to Cloud Recesses, Lan Qiren will eat them alive, and we can’t leave them alone. Look at them! Look around! They need help.”
“Ah, Madame Lan,” Song Lan says tentatively, “you’ve already done-”
“Shut up,” she says and his mouth snaps shut. Lan Xichen stares. He’s encountered Song Lan many times and has never seen him act like this. “Where are you going to go? What are you going to do? You deserve rest, all three of you, and while I would hardly call the Jin restful, it’s at least better than having to watch you back on the road.” She frowns. “Also, what’s with Madame Lan? I told you to call me Xuanyu. If you fight an army of the undead together, you don’t have to use titles. It’s a rule, or something.”
Wangji’s eyes narrow and Song Lan smiles at Xuanyu before he catches sight of Wangji’s expression and then his lips thin out into a straight line.
Lan Xichen can already feel a headache building.
She’s only been missing for a few hours. How did any of this even happen?
If he wants to find out, then he’s going to have to give in to her. She won’t tell him anything otherwise, he assumes, because A-Yao definitely wouldn’t. Besides, he has no reason to deny her. She is Madame Lan and Lady Jin and she’s more than entitled to add people to their traveling party and to invite wandering cultivators to Koi Tower.
“The rest of our party is nearby,” he says finally. “We’re happy for you to join us.”
His brother glares at him, but what does he expect him to do? She’s Wangji's wife.
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autumnshighlady · 1 month
Text
I've Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 29)
NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER
summary: wedding night... activities
warnings: PURE SMUT!!! literally filth, i have no excuse. threesome, oral sex (F receiving), spanking, dom!Nesta, orgasm denial, face sitting, everything basically. slight talk of past trauma but that's it (seriously when y'all write threesomes why do your characters never discuss limits beforehand smh)
word count: 8.3k
DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE
a/n: sorry i fell off the face of the earth... again..... i got super depressed and forgot how to write but i'm back now! rip to the person who requested neris x reader smut and had to wait 28 chapters for it lol
DISCLAIMER: none of this is proofread and i WAS drunk when i wrote it so it's a disaster but it's smutty so feast away
part 1 // part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16 / part 17 / part 18 / part 19 / part 20 / part 21 / part 22 / part 23 / part 24 / part 25 / part 26 / part 27 / part 28 / part 29 / part 30
read on ao3
✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧
Your jaw hit the floor as you entered the unfamiliar room. Against the wall to your left was the biggest four poster bed you had ever seen, enough to fit at least 4 people with room for limbs to be spread but not touching. It was covered in a thick green blanket, with cream pillows and a knitted throw at the base. Almost-sheer gold curtains were wrapped from the top frame of the bed posters, held back by brass loops. There was a large, arching wall of flowers and branches surrounding a shelf behind the bed’s headboard. A few trinkets had already been strewn across the shelves – books, jewellery, a knife, all objects you had seen Eris possess. The floor was dark wood and elegant, with a large, red rug in front of the bed, offset by the most comfortable-looking, plushy chairs and couch you had ever seen. 
But what caught your eye the most was the expertly carved cinquefoil arches and pillars on the other side of the room that lead to a balcony. There were no windows between the pillars, but the room remained devoid of the chill of the night air. It was spelled, judging by the thin sheen of magic between the spaces. You couldn’t see the view at this hour, but you knew it would take your breath away.
Angling your head in amazement, you noticed two open doors on the right side. One led to what looked like a massive walk-in closet, while the other led to the bathroom. You followed the second door, peering in to see the largest bathing room you had ever seen. An enormous tub was carved into the floor at one end, a small fountain spurting from one end with dragon’s heads carved into it. Across from the tub was a spacious shower, with various faucets and shower heads at all angles and three shelves with different soaps and oils on them. Amazed, you stepped back into the main bedroom, too stunned to speak.
“So,” Eris smirked, sauntering up behind you and placing his hands on your waist. “What do you think, my love?”
Slack-jawed, you couldn’t find the words for a moment. You glanced at Nesta, who had come up beside you. Her eyes were wide, her soft lips parted ever so slightly in wonder. Everything in this room was perfect, down to the last detail. “Is this…” You tried to speak but your voice trailed off.
“Our room.” Nesta finished your sentence for you, her voice filled with awe.
You asked, “wait, did you know?”
Eris squeezed your sides gently. “She knew this was going to be my gift to you both. Unfortunately I had to tell her, as I needed her input in the construction of the shower. But this is the first time you have both seen it. It was originally a storage room, but I had it redone and it has been worked on for the past two months.”
You baulked. “Eris, I…” Once again, your voice trailed off. The scale of the room, the attention to detail, everything was specifically designed for you, Eris, and Nesta to live together without feeling cramped. Eris had done all of this for you, for Nesta. Even during those dark days where it seemed everything had gone awry, he had kept hope aflame with the building of this room. “I don’t even know what to say, this is incredible.”
Eris chuckled, resting his chin on your shoulder and letting his lips graze your ear as he murmured, “You don’t have to say anything. You both deserve it, and I am beyond thrilled that I have the honour of spoiling you like this. It is the least I can do, and it is just one of many endless ways I intend on proving my devotion.”
Instantly, your blood heated at the sensation and you let out a breath. You shivered slightly, face flushing at having your mate’s lips so close to your neck. The action did not go unnoticed. Nesta turned her head towards you, pupils widening with lust at the breath that escaped your lips. Eris simply moved even closer, his fingers stretching up your ribs ever so slightly. Even through the thick fabric of your wedding dress, your skin tingled where his fingers brushed and you sucked in a breath.
“My, my,” Nesta cooed, cocking her head and surveying you up and down like a dragon staring at her prey. The way her head tilted slowly, eyes aflame and each movement possessing a serpent-like quality reminded you of Athariel’s mannerisms – rider and beast, slowly morphing into a unified being. “Somebody is flustered easily.”
“That’s good,” Eris said smoothly, his voice like silk. “It means she listened when I told her she had to wait until the night of the wedding for her desires to be satisfied.”
“You really think I had time for any of that amidst the wedding chaos?” You tried to snap back, but your voice was breathy and weak. All you could think about was Eris’s hands on your sides and Nesta’s blue-grey eyes sizing you up. Your heart thumped louder in your chest as you realised your fantasies were going to be brought to fruition. All those weeks of having to suppress your urges were finally at an end. The sensation of your mates’ desire through the mating bond was almost overwhelming, igniting every nerve in your body.
Eris dragged his lips up and down the side of your neck, chuckling darkly at the shudder your body involuntarily made at the sensation. “Fair enough, we have been rather busy, haven’t we? I’m surprised you’ve made it this long.”
Nesta gracefully took a step closer to you, her rich, warm scent enveloping your senses as she gently removed the crown from your head, setting it down on the dresser a few feet away. “Oh please, take what Eris says with a grain of salt,” she rolled her eyes. “He’s been struggling to hold back just as much as we have. He’s desperate too.”
The High Lord paused his movements along your neck, amber eyes narrowing at her. “Careful, Nesta.” He purred. “I had planned on being generous to my mates tonight, I’d hate for it to turn into an evening of punishment and teaching that smart mouth of yours a lesson.”
Nesta bit the corner of her lip,and you couldn’t help but notice the sudden shift in the position of her thighs. She shot Eris a glare, lifting her chin with a challenge. “You wish.”
Before Eris could reply, you let out a snort of laughter at her boldness. A mistake, it seemed, as both your mates whipped their heads sharply towards you. Your stomach fluttered with a delicious fear, one that sent heat between your legs. 
“Is something funny?” Nesta asked, a hint of a smirk behind her lips.
You shook your head, resisting the urge to chuckle again. Truthfully, you were impressed with the self-restraint of your mates. For so many, the snapping of the mating bond ignited a weeks long frenzy of fucking. But even after the bond snapped between you, Nesta, and Eris, there had been next to no sexual touching. Every ounce of your being desired to ravage your mates, but Eris’s wishes to refrain until the wedding were the string that held you together. No, your male mate liked control. It was something you had always known about him, something that often made your imagination run wild with other types of control he would enjoy exercising. While you certainly liked your fair share of being in charge, you craved Eris’s approval that came with doing what he asked… after a good amount of mouthing off, that is.
Nesta had held herself together almost as well as Eris, refusing to give into your sly attempts to find a loophole in his command the last few weeks. She shared very little of what her and Cassian had done together, but you were itching to find out what she liked. To explore what buttons you could push, the sounds you could draw out from her plush lips…
Your thoughts were abruptly cut off as Eris’s hand found its way into the locks of hair by your scalp, expertly tugging and pulling your head back against his solid chest. The moan that escaped you was completely involuntary, your body going haywire at the simple action of your mate. 
“Nesta asked you a question,” Eris said sternly, forcing you to look up at him. Your breath caught in your throat as he tilted your head back enough for him to stare down at you. His amber eyes were dark with lust, the crown upon his head and the smug look on his face painting the perfect picture of royal arrogance. “It would do you well to answer it.”
This time you managed to catch the whimper in your throat as Eris tilted your head to the side so you were upright and facing Nesta again. The way he moved your body around as if you were a piece of chess on his playing board sent a new wave of arousal through you. You felt torn in two, part of you wanting to submit and let him use you as he pleased while the other part wanted to challenge him and face the consequences he would no doubt dole out.
Nesta’s arms were crossed, pushing up her breasts ever so slightly, which your hungry eyes noticed right away. She raised a groomed eyebrow, “well?”
Deciding to give both of them what they wanted for now, you answered. “What’s funny is I thought you’d be more submissive, Nesta. Your remark caught me off guard. After all, I know how badly you want to please Eris.” The first sentence was entirely untrue, something all three of you knew. But you couldn’t help but add kindling to the fire. The masochistic part of your brain wanted to see how you’d be punished, and if it’d be enough to break you into submission.
“Brave words for somebody who’s about to be at her mercy.” Eris’s voice was low and smooth, his lips returning to your ear. 
Nesta simply stared you down evenly, wicked cunningness lurking behind her eyes. “Pathetic, she wants us to not be nice to her and is trying to goad us into doing what she wants.”
You shook your head, but excitement ran through your veins. You heard Eris chuckle from behind you, and Nesta let out an exhale. With the mating bond still so fresh and the three of you in such close proximity, you knew they had felt your body’s every reaction as if it were their own. Despite the chill autumn breeze, the room felt stiflingly hot.
Eris’s hands moved higher on your hips, fingers spreading and ever so slightly grazing the underside of your breast through the fabric of your dress. Nesta stepped forward as well, so close you could smell the honey-lemon tart she ate for dessert on her breath. Her cheeks were flushed with desire, but her eyes still donned that stern expression that drove you crazy. Before you could say anything, her slender fingers reached down and brushed against the inside of your legs through your skirts. An icy hot shiver went up your spine at the contact, and you couldn’t help but arch into Eris, who at this point was responsible for holding you upright.
“So, it seems that you have a choice to make, my dear,” Eris said in your ear, rubbing agonisingly slow circles along your sides with his fingers. “How do you want this night to go? Do you want me to be nice and focus on making you both feel good, hm?” With those last few words, Eris gave your hair another pull, tilting your head further to the right and exposing more of your neck. You cried out as his lips and teeth finally found your skin, gently kissing and biting with the perfect amount of pressure. Instantly, your breathing became uneven, your body desperate for more.
After a few moments of pleasuring the sensitive skin on your neck, Eris removed his lips and continued. “Or perhaps, you want something a little different, for me to be mean and turn you into more of a desperate mess than you already are.”
Suddenly, the gentle strokes of his lips and tongue from before were replaced with sharp canines sinking into your skin. You gasped, a new wave of arousal rushing through you like the waves of a storm. His teeth stung in the most delicious way, mixing with the pleasure arising in your body and making your head spin.
“I think we have our answer.” Nesta chuckled, moving her hands to rest on your hip bones just below Eris’s. “But I want to hear her say it.”
“I…” You stuttered, world reeling from the whispers of touches from Nesta’s hands on your hips mixed with the harsh biting at your neck from your other mate behind you. “I want you to do your worst.”
“Masochistic little fox.” Eris purred. “If you need us to stop, please speak up at any point. This may not be the traditional coupling of mates, but I want you to enjoy it.”
“Nothing about us is traditional.” You couldn’t help but chuckle.
“That is true.” Nesta added. As if she couldn’t take the close proximity anymore, she crashed her lips into yours, squeezing your hips as she did so. Immediately, you placed your hands on her biceps, pulling her closer and moaning into the contact. Her mouth was soft yet all-consuming, and wetness almost immediately pooled between your legs. Nesta’s kisses have always turned you on in the several that you shared, but this was different. Before, they had been tender and longing, like a prayer echoing through an abandoned church. 
There was nothing tender about the way she was kissing you now. If her previous kisses were like a gentle creek flowing through the woods, this kiss was a tsunami. It bewitched your body and soul, her lips bold and claiming you wholly. You were hers, and she was yours – that’s all her kiss told you. You pulled her even closer, her chest brushing up against yours as Eris’s hands explored further, grazing your breasts more and more with each movement. You shuddered between them, lifting a hand and bringing it around Nesta’s neck, squeezing the back of it. She let out a moan, and you used the opportunity of her slack jaw to slip your tongue into her mouth, brushing her lips and tasting every inch of her.
After several minutes of being utterly consumed by the female, you felt her pull away. You let out a whine that was cut off abruptly as you were spun around to face Eris. His green cloak and dazzling crown had been discarded already, leaving him in his red and gold robes. Even without the royal symbols, there was no mistaking his power and status. It sent a thrill through you as you stared up at the male. Chuckling, Eris’s hand wove into your hair again as he pulled you forward, pressing his lips into yours. He was rougher than Nesta, a different kind of dominance, one that was nearly overwhelming. His lips were firm against yours, commanding every ounce of your attention, and you gladly gave it to him. The hand in your hair kept you immobile, unable to resist any which way Eris chose to move you.
You felt Nesta stir behind you, and after a few moments the strings trying together the back of the dress began to loosen. Her fingers expertly undid the material, and you eagerly pulled your arms from the long sleeves while keeping your lips glued to Eris. A shiver came over your body as Nesta’s fingers grazed your newly exposed skin, pulling the soft white and red fabric down your body and letting it fall to a heap on the floor before delicately removing the emerald necklace. Nesta also reached out and pulled the remaining few bobby pins out of your hair, releasing it from the previous mess of an updo it had become. 
You stood there in your underwear, skin covered in a thin layer of sweat from the evening’s festivities. You did not feel the urge to shy away and cover yourself as you had when getting undressed with previous lovers. Even as Eris pulled away and took a step back to drink in your naked form, you did not cower. You were his equal, and he yours. He would come to know your body like the back of his hand, there was no use in trying to hide it.
His amber eyes went from lustful to angry as they found the scar below your belly button, that cursed letter ‘M’ that his brother had carved into your skin. You bit your lip, pushing back memories of those awful encounters with Malgorm. 
“I hate the gods for letting this happen.” Eris muttered angrily, staring at the scar as if enough willpower could wash it away. “I am so sorry–”
You took a step forward, pressing your fingers against his lips to shush him. “What’s done is done,” You murmured. “We cannot change the past. We can find a way to permanently glamour the scar, as I do not wish for it to be on my body any more than you wish to gaze upon it, my love. Let’s not worry about it for now, okay?”
A slender hand on your shoulder made you turn to face Nesta. She had removed her crown and dress as well, leaving her just as naked as you. But her face was serious, breaking the teasing tension of the room as she spoke. “Are you sure this is okay? After everything that has happened, we don’t have to do this right away. We can wait.”
You shook your head. “No,” You said firmly. “I want this. I want you both. If I was unsure I would have said so. I trust you.”
Nesta’s voice was soft. “Okay. But is there anything off limits that might cause you to become… discomforted?”
You thought for a moment, hating the memories that flashed through your mind. But you endured it. Nesta was right – before anything happened, boundaries needed to be stated. “My neck…” You said slowly, remembering how hard Malgorm had grabbed you. “I don’t want pressure on my neck, please.”
Nesta nodded with understanding. You turned around to face Eris, whose gaze had softened. “I can work with that.” He said gently.
“What about you, Nesta?” You asked, facing your female mate once again. “What’s off limits for you?”
At first, the female visibly tensed, as if fighting off the urge to put those walls back up that she had so firmly in place when you first met her. Getting Nesta to be vulnerable with sex would be a journey, that much you knew. After how she described her couplings with Cassian and other males, this discussion of limits seemed new to her. She blinked slowly, and you could see the wheels in her mind turning. 
“Take your time,” you said softly, grabbing Eris’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly.
“My head…” Nesta said quietly after a moment, her eyes slightly glazed over as if reliving memories. “I would appreciate it if my head was not held down or restricted.”
Immediately, your mind thought of all the instances that explained this. The kelpie, the Cauldron, the human male who assaulted her, it all made sense. You nodded, then faced Eris once again to take the pressure off of Nesta. “And what about you, husband? Anything off limits?”
Eris scoffed half heartedly. “Nope. I am content with anything.”
You elbowed him lightly in the stomach, rolling your eyes. “You’re not funny. We’re trying to have a discussion here and you ruined it.”
The male made a noise of agreement, his eyes sobering up for a second before he sighed, removing the crown from his head and moving his fingers to unlace his robes. Nesta came up to stand beside you, her hand sliding into yours but her eyes fixed on Eris. Both of you stared as the male removed his robes and unlaced his tunic. You felt Nesta’s breath catch as Eris’s bare torso was revealed. Slender muscles were covered in faint scars. They looked to be from some sort of burning lashes – Beron’s doing, no doubt. Bile rose in your throat at the sight before you, at the thought of how bad these injuries must have been to still be scarred centuries later.
“My father liked to use his own fire on me,” Eris said slowly. “The wounds from the beatings disappeared fast, but my…. harsher punishments involved fire. I think in a way, he wanted me to fear our fire. But like many things in life, he failed.” He let out a hoarse laugh. “For this reason, I do not wish for pain to be inflicted upon me during sex. While I will inflict it if it’s something you want, I am firmly against being on the receiving end of it.”
“I understand.” You said, and Nesta murmured in agreement. Even with the scars, your body still heated up at the sight of Eris shirtless. They marked his skin like stars in the night sky, glowing in the candlelight. He was strikingly beautiful, every inch of him. From the way Nesta’s breathing changed beside you, he was having the same effect on her, too.
Finally, the arrogant smirk returned to Eris’s face. “Excellent, now that we are all in agreement…” His amber gaze fell upon you, making your knees weak as he spoke with lethal command, “Get on the bed.”
You rolled your eyes at him, but obliged, giving Nesta a quick kiss on the cheek on your way over. The mattress was soft and plushy as you sank down onto it, and you briefly wondered if you even wanted to know how much it had cost. 
All distracting thoughts vanished from your head as Nesta strode over, prowling like a dragon approaching a lost sheep. The silver light from the moon and the golden light from the candles illuminated her soft curves in an otherworldly way, the coronet now evolved into a simple loose, messy braid coming over her shoulder. She smirked as you leaned up to kiss her from your sitting position. Before your lips could reach hers, she chuckled and abruptly pushed you back so you were laying down. The yelp you let out as you unexpectedly fell back was cut off by a kiss, her mouth swallowing any noise you made as you melted beneath her. The rich scent of your combined arousals flooded the room, filling your senses.
Nesta’s thighs straddled you as she pressed her body into yours, her creamy skin brushing against you and making your nerves go haywire as she shifted her mouth to your throat, planting gentle kisses there before sliding further down your body. You reached down to try and pull her back up so you could touch her, but two silver flames appeared around your wrists, gently guiding them up over your head and twining into the bedframe, leaving your hands tied. You whimpered in complaint, causing Nesta to stop her kisses just above your breast. 
“I’m sorry, did you want to touch me?” She asked huskily, eyes dark. Her lips moved just above your nipple, her breath sending the bud into a peak.
“Yes.” You said breathily, trying to keep the desperate tone out of your voice.
Nesta gave your nipple a quick lick, causing your entire body to twitch before she continued. “Too bad, you have to earn it.”
“And how do I do that?” You snapped in frustration, unable to stop yourself. 
As quick as a snake, Nesta reached under your thigh and hoisted your hips off the mattress. With her other hand, she reached underneath and slapped your ass. Hard. Instinctively, you moaned loudly, pain and pleasure coursing through your body and creating even more wetness between your legs. Through half-open eyes, you saw Nesta blink in surprise then smile wickedly. She turned to Eris, who had discarded his bottoms and was palming himself through his underwear. A silent conversation passed between them, and you shivered with anticipation before Nesta turned back towards you. “Lose the attitude, love,” she said.
You huffed, but tried to force the attitude out of your voice. “Boring. What do I have to do to earn it?”
“You’ll have to beg us to let you cum, and you’ll ask permission to do so.”
“I don’t beg.”
“Oh but you will,” Eris chimed in, gently gliding his fingers down Nesta’s spine as she took your nipple in her mouth, causing you to moan. “And you’ll love every second of it.”
You couldn’t deny that. All you could focus on was Nesta’s mouth on you, her other hand fondling the other breast. All the squirming in the world was useless against those silver flame restraints, which was unyielding. Finally, Nesta shuffled down so she was kneeling on the ground with her upper body between your thighs. Involuntarily, your legs automatically widened as she settled in, which did not go unnoticed.
“Wow, you are desperate for me, aren’t you?” Nesta teased, running a finger up your inner thigh. “The lightest of touches have you soaked through your underwear, I can’t imagine how you’ll react when I get my mouth on you.”
You whimpered at her words that washed over you like warm water. You had never been this wet, this aching to be touched. Nesta was smug as her finger ghosted over your clothed slit, feeling the wetness of the thin material. Your hips jolted at the sensation, electric shock wracking your nerves. 
Your mates were going to be the death of you. Every instinct screamed to find a way out of the restraints and pounce on Nesta and Eris, but your desire to please them overpowered it.
“My, my, she’s sensitive,” Eris mocked. “I don’t think she’ll be able to handle what we’ve got planned.”
“She will,” Nesta said sternly before glancing up at you. “Won’t you?”
You nodded in blind agreement, the anticipation of not knowing what was coming next both exciting and terrifying you. “Good girl,” Nesta replied before grabbing your panties and tearing them in two, revealing your soaking wet pussy. She moaned at the sight of your exposed core, making you pool even further. Every sound she made, every look she gave you was enough to drive you crazy. Your thighs were near trembling as she lightly touched your clit, the contact with the sensitive bundle of nerves making you jump and your thighs twitch.
“Look how wet she is,” Eris said. “And we haven’t even done anything…”
Your eyes snapped open fully when you realised he had removed his underwear and was stroking his cock. Your mouth practically watered at the sight of the male with his hand wrapped around his long cock, a smug expression on his face as he stared down at you like you were a piece of meat served up on a platter. “See something you like?” He said arrogantly as he noted your expression.
“Mother above, do I ever,” You replied breathlessly. “My brain doesn’t even know where to focus.”
Nesta said, “I think I can remedy that.” Without another word, the female’s head dove between your thighs, her tongue sliding up from your entrance to your clit before wrapping her lips around the bud and sucking. Bursting with pleasure, your back arched off the bed, hands angrily pulling against the restraints begging to touch Nesta. She repeated the pattern, licking and sucking in all the right spots and making your eyes roll back in your head. 
Cursing under your breath, you let out moans as Nesta ate you out. Her hands were wrapped around your thighs, burying herself as far into you as she could. You could feel her enjoyment and desire through the mating bond, which intensified the experience tenfold. Never before had you been this turned on this fast. Nesta had already figured out what made your body sing and was playing it like a violin. Eris was kneeling behind Nesta, pressing kisses all over her back. The sight of it turned you on even more.
You could pinpoint the exact moment Eris’s fingers found Nesta’s pussy. The female let out a moan that sent vibrations into your core, making your moan echo off of hers. The room was filled with the wet sounds of Nesta’s mouth on you and Eris’s fingers rubbing Nesta’s clit. Her face was screwed up with pleasure and a focused determination, her tongue never relenting against you.
“Isn’t she making you feel so good?” Eris asked you. “Nesta seems like she’s already doing very good with her mouth, I can’t wait to test it out myself.”
“So fucking good…” You murmured, causing Nesta to moan in approval between your legs.
The sounds between Nesta’s thighs intensified as Eris slipped a finger into her, curling it in a way that had her squirming in between you two. “Do you know how many nights I’ve had to get myself off to refrain from storming into your rooms and dragging both of you into my bed to be fucked senseless? I’ve had so many fantasies about what I want to do to you two, even with an eternity ahead of us I don’t know if we’ll have time to complete them all…” The male continued, cocking his head and pushing his hips forward, letting his cock rub against Nesta’s ass. “Is this everything you dreamed of, my love, hmm?”
“Yes!” You exclaimed, hands gripping onto the headboard as you writhed underneath Nesta’s mouth. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, coupled with the sight of Eris behind Nesta’s kneeling form with his knuckles buried inside her, you felt yourself approaching the journey to your climax within ten minutes, a new record for you.​ Your mate between your legs whimpered as Eris’s movements seemingly sped up, but she kept her blue-grey eyes open and looking up at you. Incoherent noises escaped your throat as you began to plead. “Please…” you begged. “I’m getting close…”
“Close to what?” Eris asked mockingly, his voice perfectly even as if he wasn’t curling his fingers inside Nesta so tactfully that she was shaking slightly. “You have to use your words, my love.”
You felt your orgasm building at a rapid pace, coming crashing towards you like a tidal wave. “Please… I’m gonna–” Your words were abruptly cut off as you were unable to hold back the inevitable. Like water overflowing a cup, your orgasm washed over you, spreading that warm electric sensation through your nerve endings. Nesta groaned with pleasure as your hips bucked against her face, grinding into it as you rode out your high. The world went silent around you in those few, stretched out seconds. It was an orgasm unlike any you had ever experienced.
With shaking legs you caught your breath and Nesta finally removed her tongue from your cunt. You watched through hooded lids as she leaned her head back, and Eris bent down and kissed her hungrily, lapping up your juices. One of his hands grabbed her breast, squeezing it in his fingers and making her moan into his mouth. They were like two gods in a painting before you, one you would happily stare at for the rest of your life.
The silver flames around your wrists vanished, and you eagerly brought your arms back down to stretch them out. When Nesta and Eris eventually separated, they turned their gazes towards you. And you knew you were fucked from the wicked look in their eyes.
“I’m sorry–” You began apologising, but Eris cut you off.
“We asked you to do one thing, and you couldn’t even do it…” He said with gleeful disappointment. “A shame, I had such a lovely reward in mind for you if you had just been a good girl.”
Nesta scoffed. “I think she wanted the punishment.”
“She will regret that very soon.” Eris stood up and strode over to your side of the bed, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing you to look up at him. “Did we say you could cum?”
You shook your head, earning you another harsh tug that elicited a moan. “I asked you a question,” Eris hissed. “Did we say you could cum?”
“No…” You stuttered weakly, shrinking beneath his and Nesta’s gazes.
“Then why did you?”
“It felt too good, I couldn’t stop it.”
“Do you think flattery will keep you from punishment?”
You sheepishly shrugged. “A girl can dream, right?”
Eris barked out a laugh, grabbing you gently by the hands and guiding you off the bed. Your legs still felt weak, and had it not been for Eris you would have surely stumbled in your first few steps. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nesta smugly smirking at her handiwork, her cheeks flushed. 
But Eris’s hand grasped your chin, turning your focus to him as you met his gaze. “Go to the empty space on the wall,” He said slowly. “And place your hands on it and spread your legs.”
You baulked, eyes widening. The evil grin on his face sent chills up your spine. Despite your recent orgasm, your body began to heat up again. Knowing better than to protest this time, you did as you were told. The sound of your footsteps echoed throughout the large bedroom as you walked over to the gap in the wall between the fireplace and the corner area. Taking a deep breath, you faced the wall and placed your hands on the smooth wood. It was cold beneath your touch, a soothing sensation against your sweating palms. You mentally cursed your body at how quickly it was recovering and ready for a second round. The mating bond was thick with desire so palpable you could feel it.
You heard footsteps coming up behind you, and you knew without looking that it was Eris. His presence could be felt creeping up on you as if it were your own shadow. You flinched as he put his hands on your waist, pressing his chest into your back. His cock rubbed against your ass as it did with Nesta’s, causing you to suck in a sharp breath. “If you want something, you have to ask for it,” Eris murmured in your ear. “Those are my rules, and you have already broken them. I am going to spank you ten times, and you’re going to fucking take it. Am I clear?”
“Yes, Eris.” You whimpered. Behind you, his cock twitched at the moaning of his name and the male groaned. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nesta take a seat in the nearby chair with a glass of white wine in hand. She had run a comb through her hair, and when she caught your gaze she raised an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me for help,” she chided. “You’ve done this to yourself. I will not get you out of this.”
You sighed, trembling in anticipation and waiting with bated breath for the first strike. Wasting no time, it came seconds later. Eris’s hand came down on your right ass cheek, hard. From your throat came a guttural cry, one you didn’t know you were capable of making. It was a cross between a scream and a moan, crossing into the latter as the impact from the initial sting melted into a white hot pleasure. You barely had time to recover before the second one came on the other cheek this time, drawing out the same response.
“Good girl…” Eris murmured, rubbing your ass and pressing a kiss between your shoulder blades. You sighed beneath his touch, melting into it. 
But the tenderness didn’t last long. By the seventh spank, tears pricked the corners of your eyes. 
“Aw, look at her, Eris,” Nesta spoke up. “You’ve made her cry.”
Your laboured breaths drowned out his response as you pressed your forehead into your arms, which you had valiantly kept pressed against the wall. Your ass stung and sweat dripped down your forehead. But the cherry on top was your dripping cunt. Wetness had seeped down your thighs, glistening in the candlelight of the room on display for everyone to see.
You felt Eris’s hand brush some stray hairs out of your face, and he leaned in close to murmur into your ear, “Are you okay?”
“Mhm,” You whispered, nodding feverishly. 
There was no teasing in your mate’s voice as he spoke. “Do we need to stop?”
“No,” You insisted. “I can handle three more, I promise.”
You felt Eris nod against you before pulling away and continuing to rub your ass, which already donned the formations of several dark bruises. You turned your head towards Nesta, who was watching the scene with lust in her eyes. “You’re doing so well, my love,” she said tenderly. “You can do it.”
With a newfound determination, you forced your body to relax as Eris’s hand came down again with a loud smack, making you wince and grow wetter at the same time. Then again, and again. Finally, after the tenth smack, you collapsed your head into your arms again, panting. Your legs felt as weak as a newborn deer, gangly and unstable. You didn’t even have the energy to react as Eris swiped his fingers through your slip, sampling the wetness gathered there. 
He chuckled darkly. “My, my, somebody sure enjoyed that.”
“I’m not surprised, given her reaction to my one slap earlier.” Nesta said, placing her wine glass on the table next to her before standing up and making her way over to where you and Eris were standing. She wiped some sweat from your brow with a cloth and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Well done.”
“Is my punishment over?” You asked weakly.
“Not quite,” Eris responded, gently guiding you over to the chair Nesta had been seated in. “You’ve demonstrated a lack of patience, which is unacceptable. So you are going to learn to be patient, and you are going to sit here and watch me fuck Nesta.”
“And you’re not allowed to touch yourself,” Nesta added sternly as Eris pushed you into the chair, which was now turned to face the bed and had a glass of water next to it. Truthfully, your body was relieved at the idea of getting a break. Your muscles ached from the trembling, and the idea of watching your mates fuck each other made your body heat up. So you nodded, getting a kiss on the cheek from each of your mates before they made their way to the bed. After taking a sip of the ice cold water, you leaned back in the plushy chair.
Nesta knelt on the bed, her long locks cascading down her back as she looked up at Eris. He stood before her at the edge of the bed like an altar she was worshipping, his lean muscles illuminated by the moon. He bent down and kissed Nesta as if she contained the last molecules of air left in this universe, his lips moulding into hers perfectly. You couldn’t help but bite your lip as you watched her shoulders relax as she melted into his kiss. Desire began to build in you once again, just by watching your mates share a heated kiss.
With a shove on the shoulder, Eris pushed Nesta into the bed so she was laying down. He wasted no time crawling over her body and pressing heated kisses across her chest. As his mouth came to her nipple, Nesta moaned and wound a hand in the male’s red locks, arching her back into his touch. Your palms itched with the urge to go over there and help, but the soreness of your ass reminded you to stay in your seat. 
“Fuck, these are gorgeous…” Eris murmured before switching to her other breast. He groaned into the mound of flesh as Nesta’s grip in his hair tightened, the animalistic sound echoing throughout the chamber.
Don’t touch yourself, you reminded yourself. No matter how hot the scene before you was, and despite the fact you normally loved being punished, you knew your mates were the type to only be so forgiving.
Grabbing one of Nesta’s long legs, Eris placed a kiss on the inside of her calf, working his way down. Nesta’s breathing shifted, her hips squirming to try and meet his face, but the male swerved every time and kissed her thigh instead. More arousal pooled between your legs as you watched Nesta squirm beneath Eris.
“Please, Eris…” Nesta breathed, her cheeks red and eyes half closed with desire.
The red haired male stopped, his lips centimetres above her pussy. “Please what?”
“Please use your mouth on me…”
Nesta’s pleas made you whimper. All you wanted to do was go over there and satisfy her, to have her clamp her thighs around your head until the world crumbled into ash before you. Eris turned his head to face you, where you were gripping the arms of the chair. “See how she asked nicely?” He said to you, “Now she’s going to get what she wants. It’s that simple.”
His pale fingers gripped Nesta’s hips tightly, pinning them down to the mattress as he brought his face between her legs and began his work. Immediately, Nesta let out a loud moan – she was much more vocal than you, letting her noises out shamelessly as she was pinned down. After several minutes, Eris easily slid two fingers into Nesta, stretching her out yet still keeping her hips still with only one hand. 
“Oh, fuck…” Nesta cried out as Eris curled his fingers inside her, one of her hands gripping the sheets while the other palmed her breast. Her eyes fluttered closed, and it was only minutes later when Eris pulled away. Nesta whined at the loss of contact, and he let out a growl, grabbing her leg and hitching it up against his waist. You watched with a slack jaw and clenched legs as Eris lined his cock up with Nesta’s entrance before slowly pushing it in. 
Nesta’s face contorted, her eyes squeezing shut and mouth opening in pleasure as Eris pushed himself to the hilt. His head tilted back, and his jaw clenched with pleasure. You dug your fingernails into the palms of your hand so hard it almost bled, the sensation of watching your mates’ blissed out expressions almost overpowering.
Eris leaned over Nesta, one hand on her thigh keeping it up against his hip while the other planted itself beside her shoulder. It only took a few minutes for him to pound in and out of Nesta, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room and drowning out Nesta’s moans. Eris was fucking Nesta hard, her toes visible curling with each thrust.
As Nesta’s legs began to tremble not ten minutes later, Eris slowed down his thrusts, making her whine. He turned his head towards you, a devilish grin on face. “So, my dear,” he said to you. “Do you think Nesta deserves to cum?”
Surprise flickered in you, and seemingly in Nesta too, for she turned her head sharply to look at you with wide eyes as Eris’s hand rubbed her clit. “P…please…” she begged you, desperation written all across your face.
You were torn in two. You wanted nothing more than to see Nesta cum, to watch her writhe underneath Eris as she rode out a blissful high. But the sinister part of you wanted to show her that you weren’t the only one who could take charge.
After a minute, you came to your decision. “No.”
“What?!” Nesta sputtered angrily as Eris pulled out of her, chuckling. Her hair was stuck to her face, her lips swollen from kissing and her cheeks red. Her grey eyes shot you a  furious glare.
“That’s my devilish little fox,” Eris purred, beckoning you over with a finger. “You took your punishment very well, and I think it’s time for a reward.”
“Please,” you begged pathetically as you laid down on the bed beside Nesta, desperate for any physical contact. 
Sensing that, Eris gave you a quick kiss before grabbing your hips and spreading your legs with his knees. You were so soaking wet that after checking your comfort with two fingers, Eris lined himself up with your entrance and slammed into you with ease. The breath was knocked out of your lungs at the impact, the delicious stinging pain of the stretch quickly melting into pleasure as it had with the spanks. He gave you no time to adjust before pounding into you, his soft grunts filling the air.
Beside you, Nesta sat up, a playful look in her eyes replacing the furious one. She grabbed your hair just as Eris had, forcing you to look at her. “Since you decided to be a brat and not let me finish after I was so nice to you, I’m going to sit on that pretty face of yours to shut you up and use you to finish myself off. Got it?”
About to burst with happiness that your plan worked, you nodded eagerly, shifting your shoulders to get more comfortable. Seeing the smugness on your face, Nesta rolled her eyes but released her hair, spinning her hips to face Eris. She then swung her leg over your face, leaning forward to place her hands on your breasts and play with them as she lowered herself down.
You moaned into her pussy, tasting the mixture of her and Eris on your tongue, eagerly lapping it up. You used the tip of your tongue to flick her clit, making her legs twitch around your head. Repeating patterns of licking and sucking, you gripped Nesta’s hips tightly as she grinded herself into your face.
Eris’s thrusts had somehow gotten more powerful, making you whimper into Nesta. Your wife let out a moan at the vibration, then Eris’s fingers found your clit. You were oversensitive, and as a result moaned repeatedly between Nesta’s thighs. Her legs began to shake around you, her hands squeezing your breasts as she panted, “Can I please cum?”
“Yes.” Eris grunted, his own thrusts getting sloppier as he chased his own release. Seconds later, Nesta moaned wantonly, her legs clenching your head and shaking like an earthquake as you sucked on her clit, drawing out her release. She cried out, her orgasm wracking her body as she grinded her hips into your face even more. You happily took it, whimpering as her moans spurred both you and Eris on towards your own release. 
As Nesta dragged her trembling self off of your body, she flopped down beside you. Her fingers quickly took Eris’s hand’s place at your clit, rubbing back and forth harshly. You nearly screamed at the sudden pressure, white hot pleasure pooling in your gut ready to burst.
“Come for me, my love,” Nesta purred in your ear.
That was all it took to send you over the edge. Your muscles clenched as your release shot through you, and you gasped with the sudden wave of pleasure. Nesta murmured praises in your ear as you rode your high, and Eris let out a growling moan as his hips sputtered, your clenching around his cock spurring on his orgasm. You cried out as his cum shot into you, the sensation almost overwhelming and prolonging your high. 
Finally, the ironclad grip on your hips released and Eris slowly pulled himself out of you. Your legs twitched, all three of you panting in an attempt to catch your breath. Deep down, you felt whole, as if the mating bond had somehow grown even stronger since before the wedding. It was as if a piece of you had been missing before you met Nesta and Eris, and they were slowly filling that void with pieces of their own.
“Does anyone fancy joining me for a shower? I’ll have someone deliver our favourite snacks afterwards,” Eris asked, standing up and holding his hands out for you and Nesta. Eagerly, you both took his extended hands and headed towards the newly built bathing room.
As the three of you stood under the multiple shower heads, tenderly washing each other when needed, you felt happy tears prick your eyes. The Nesta you met six months ago was a shell of herself, angry, with walls as high as Ramiel that refused to be crumbled by anyone. She was an object in another male’s court, a pawn in the games he played. An aggressive animal that was to be locked in a cage and only lured out when they had use for her. That Nesta never would have let anyone wash her hair, or cuddle beside her in bed. The Nesta standing beneath the shower with you was a changed female, one who knew her value and was now finally free to make her own choices without threats being made at every corner. She laughed freely, smiled more often, and the life had returned to her eyes.
Eris was a male who you never thought would tenderly kiss your forehead, or kneel before you to help you wash your legs. To be raised in an environment as harsh as Beron’s shadow, you knew how lucky you truly were that his heart stayed good. No matter how often he would deny it, you knew he was a good male.
And so all of the horrors you had faced in the last six months washed away with your happy tears in the shower, your wife and your husband beside you to hold you up no matter what.
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thalialunacy · 4 months
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[for the @calaisreno May Promptcation. two fills in one day wooooo that's how much i hate my job lolol]
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) 24: imperfect (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)
The silence that greets John as he walks up the seventeen steps, bags of groceries in hand, is perfectly ominous. He's only been gone two hours, for God's sake.
… but he's kidding himself if he thinks Rosie & Sherlock can't do a significant amount of damage in twenty minutes, let alone two hours.
He resigns himself to a huge repair bill and/or an angry Mrs Hudson, and opens the door.
Sherlock is stood in front of the sitting room table, holding a squirmy Rosie. 'Hello, John.'
'Hi Daddyyyyy.'
John raises an eyebrow. 'She's very excited about something.'
Sherlock clears his throat and looks down momentarily. 'Yes. Well. We may have had an exciting…incident.'
John sets the bags down on the kitchen table then walks back to face them. He runs his eyes over his daughter, but doesn't see any obvious damage. 'Any blood?' 
'Absolutely not,' Sherlock says immediately.
'On either of you?' John amends.
Sherlock shifts Rosie in his arms. 'Not important.'
'Alright, I'll bite. What is important, then?'
'Well, first we need to apologise, because we may have--'
'Broke bowl,' Rosie interrupts him firmly.
John shakes his head. 'We break bowls all the time, I don't--'
Sherlock moves aside, and John sees what's on the sitting room desk behind him.
'Oh,' he says shortly, his heart plummeting somewhere into his belly. On the table sits a sad pile of ceramic shards where once a handmade bowl had stood.
His eyes start to sting. John has very little left of his mum, and she'd been especially proud of that bowl. He can feel his heart rate increase as anger begins singing through him.
'I'm so sorry, John.' Sherlock's voice is low, and John's gaze snaps to him. His cool eyes are muddled with worry, and that's enough to jolt John into action.
'Need a minute, thanks,' he says, enunciating clearly, and Sherlock doesn't hesitate to nod, then reaches for a toy with which to distract Rosie.
John closes his eyes and doesn't count to ten; instead he forces air into his lungs, pictures his baby girl, and begins to count her toes and fingers. This he does, over and over and over again, until he can breathe, until he feels the anger slip and slide on its way, transforming into resignation and maybe even a glimmer of acceptance.
It is what it is.
He opens his eyes and breathes out. His body feels loose, almost depleted, but the red haze is gone. 'What happened?' he asks, throat a bit rough, as he approaches the table. Part of the bowl is actually intact, though there are a few small cracks running along it like wrinkles.
'We were playing aeroplane,' Sherlock explains, 'and her feet made an unexpected landing, one could say.'
John's lips twitch. 'And you're all right? You didn't try to heroically save the shards and end up slicing your hand open?'
Sherlock's face-- John's not sure what to make of it, exactly, but he has the feeling that as soon as they've settled in for the night he's going to have the living daylights kissed out of him. He is very much on board.
'It's just a little cut,' Sherlock says. 'And I already have a plaster on it.' He shifts Rosie and holds up the wounded finger in evidence.
It's a Sesame Street plaster, and that for some reason breaks John. He feels laughter shake through his limbs. 'Oh, Christ,' he says, wiping his eyes and looking up at Sherlock. A final chuckle escapes him, then he nods. 'You know what we're going to do?'
'What are we going to do?'
'We're going to declare that what was once a bowl is now an ashtray. In its final form, like.'
Sherlock lets out a surprised huff of laughter. 'An ashtray, you say?'
Rosie is not to be left out. 'What's ash tray?'
John and Sherlock exchange a look, but Sherlock speaks first. 'Something that will sit on our shelf, right here--' He walks over to the bookshelf by the fireplace. '--right next to the one that we s--'
John clears his throat.
'--acquired from the Palace.'
Rosie perks up, no longer interested in the ashtrays one little bit. 'Palace?'
Sherlock realises he's landed into some Prince & Princess Time a split second too late to do anything about it. 'Yes, palace,' he ad libs. 'In the sky!'
Rosie's eyes go wide, and the corner of John's mouth turns up. 'Well done.' He walks over to where they're standing and kisses them both. 'I'm going to put away the groceries and see about tea, all right?'
Sherlock leans in and kisses him again before he can move away. 'Thank you,' he says quietly while shifting Rosie to his other side. 'I know that's difficult for you.'
John nods in acknowledgement, and picks up the newly-christened ashtray one more time. 'Looks a little… rough, but should work fine.'
'It has character,' Sherlock replies.
'Personality.'
'An origin story.'
'A palace!' Rosie interjects, throwing her hands up in the air.
John's grin matches Sherlock's smirk. 'Close enough.'
[ <3 ]
And we get a little further from perfection Each year on the road / I think that's called 'character'; I think that's Just the way it goes
[inspired by 'Imperfectly' by Ani Difranco, from the album Imperfectly, which I have been listening to obsessively bc of this, and it's been a marvellous, self-indulgent time.]
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yaseraphinee · 1 month
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astro observations 3 - appearance and vibes / leo risings focus
WHY IS EVERYONE LEO RISING ???
(REMINDER : I am NOT a professional astrologer. Everything I say are my personal opinions and not facts.)
Hi guys !
First of all, I wanted to say sorry for not posting in 1 month. My 2 weeks and a half trip was not the most relaxing to say the least. But I still had fun overall!
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Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty of things : Today's post will be about Leo risings, and like I said in the last post about Virgo risings (you can check it if you want here), this post will not be a description of their physical characteristics and vibes but instead be an open conversation to answer one of my biggest astrological questions : Are Leo risings the most common rising sign ? (Libra and Virgo risings will also be part of the conversation but not at the center of it, obviously)
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This question has been bothering me for a while now. It feels like whenever i meet a group of people, i click on a few random profiles on astro seek , I, more often than not, encounter a bunch of Leo risings.
Even on instagram when some random people reveal their big three in their stories, or on their bios it feels like 4 times out of 10 it's a leo rising ?
I don't know if i am tripping but i feel like , after studying and learning about astrology for a little more than two years and doing, seeing and dissecting so many birth charts, i recently came to the conclusion that Leo risings might the most common rising sign.
Actually, this conversation seems to not be reserved to Leo risings only since Virgo and Libra risings appear to be also REALLY common rising signs.
-> EXEMPLE :
To give a real life exemple , last year i knew the rising signs of 20 people in my grade. To show you clearly how common some signs seem to be, i am going to make a list of each student next to their rising signs, calling each 20 of them student 1, student 2, ....
-> MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH THOSE STUDENTS :
Within those 20 students, most of them were good acquaintances and a minority were my friends. I did not have really profound relationships with most of them.
/!\ i am aware that only 20 people is FAR from being enough evidence to prove my point but i am just trying to show WHY i have been questionning the possibility of leo risings, alongside with libra and virgo, being the most common rising signs, and not prove that they are the most common because i clearly do not know and i need your help lol /!\
Student 1 : Gemini rising
Student 2 : Virgo rising
Student 3 : Scorpio rising
Student 4 : Virgo rising
Student 5 : Leo rising
Student 6 : Libra rising
Student 7 : Cancer rising
Student 8 : Capricorn rising
Student 9 : Libra rising
Student 10 : Virgo rising
Student 11 : Virgo rising
Student 12 : Cancer rising
Student 13 : Aquarius rising
Student 14 : Taurus rising
Student 15 : Leo rising
Student 16 : Leo rising
Student 17 : Aries rising
Student 18 : Leo rising
Student 19 : Sagittarius rising
Student 20 : Cancer rising
*A few of them , i am not sure if they're 100% accurate since they gave me an approximative time of birth.
-> RESULTS :
You can CLEARLY see that Leo, Virgo and Libra risings are the most common. (cancer risings seem also really common here)
Out of the 20 students , 10 are Leo, Virgo or Libra risings. They make up almost a majority of the risings, which is crazy regarding the fact that they are 12 possible rising signs, and only 3 out of the 12 make up half of that list.
The funny coincidence here is that , in the zodiac wheel, they are all one after another :
Leo-> Virgo -> Libra
Now , I remember seeing a while ago a youtube short explaining that the rarest rising signs are allegedly Aries , Pisces and Aquarius risings. I'll put the link if you want to watch it but to summerize she says that basically : Every single day for two hours (approx.), each one zodiac sign constellation rises on the Eastern Horizon. If a baby is born during the 2 hour chunk when Gemini is rising, that baby will have a gemini rising. The particularity that makes Aries, Pisces and Aquarius so rare is that those constellations only rise for one hour (approx.) each day. Since most of the signs rise for a longer amont of time (2 hours), you have a higher chance of having those signs on your ascendant and logically, a lower chance of having Aquarius, Pisces and Aries on your ascendant.
youtube
At the beginning, I said that I studied astrology for a little more than two years HOWEVER I haven't really studied (if not at all) the more "technical side of astrology", what the discipline and knowledge requires to be practiced correctly and accurately and to make the best interpretations possible.
That is one of the reasons why I am coming here : to seek help from professional astrologers who can not only clarify if what the girl in the youtube shorts is saying is true or not and why it is true, but also to tell me if my theory makes any sense, if there's some truth in it - > basically, to give us answers.
Now, even if you're not a certified astrologer you are still obviously welcomed to partake in this conversation ! I will be more than happy to answer to all of you guys and to get your intake on this conversation <33
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Let's use our brains together and come up collectively with an answer !
Remember guys : STAY BLESSED 💅🏼✨ ! (period ha! 👅💋)
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lokorum · 4 months
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Hi, I have been following you for some time and just read you also have cats. Can we see them or can you tell us about them? I love seeing people's cats but can't have any since I'm allergic.
oh gosh, this is like the ultimate-nicest-ask any person could ever recieve and i still made you wait for the reply, im so so sorry!! classic case of unlucky timing happend - your ask came on the next day after one of our cats had to be put down through euthanasia. im only now feeling like talking about her, hope you'll understand <3
also warning: someone here is obsessed with their cats so prepare yourself for a lot of pictures!!!
so this is her, our obachan that was somewhere around 16-17 yo at the moment of her death (no one knows how old she was for sure, and we called her a necromant bc doctors predicted her death like 10 times and she lived and lived and lived. our friend said that everytime death came for her she just stared at it with her unblinking eyes, forcing it to leave lskdjflkdsjf)
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near the end of her life she had no teeth, progressing cancer, brain tumor that caused epilepsia but she still was the god's smallest gremlin, (and the most adorable too) creating havoc everywhere she went
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the other cat that we adopted is this little goofball
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she literally found us on the street near our home back in ulan ude and just followed us there asking food. she was our neighboors cat, but they left her behind after moving, saying some bullshit like they coudnt catch her (while she was activelly asking to be held when she came to us. she was pregnant too, and very, very anxious)
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she is the most shy cat i ever met; text book wall-flower, but now after almost 5 years together she is much more brave!! tho she still scared of blankets and towels for the reasons that makes want to return back to uu and violently kill her previous family
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also can anyone tell me what is this
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and heres our first cat and the only one we havent adopted from the street but from a different family!! she is the youngest and the cheekiest little seagle that loves to terrorize everyone and since she is very very cute - she gets away with it every time
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she also is notoriously hard to catch in a photo, and when we finally able to - she is just chilling in the most bizzare places like in the freezer
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on the toilet cistern
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on the computer box
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on the bysicle seat
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inside the drawer inside the box
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on the bench
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inside the cat bag
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i found one (1) picture of her in the bed and it looks like this
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like almost anyone who has cat family member - i could talk about their little habbits for hours but i think what i already said is too much so im putting myself on the leash here lkjsdflkjasjd thank you so much for listen to my rumblings!!! i cant deny it feels kinda healing to talk about all of them now and that happened thanks to you @dabenport so sending you a lot of hugs!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ also i have allergy on cats psldkf;sdkf;lkd;lf so i hope that maybe one day you'll be able to find less allergic cat friends to share your life with!!! im sneezing a lot but its worth it
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diazsdimples · 8 months
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WIP Wednesday
Thank you to everyone who tagged me for Sunday and Tuesday, I've been really struggling with writing lately and it's been extremely disheartening but this morning I had A Singular Bean for Frostpunk AU and milked it for all it's worth! This snippet comes immediately after the Buck and Eddie POVs of being found in the cold. Please enjoy!
He suddenly feels responsible for their wellbeing, and maybe that’s why he refuses to leave the kid’s – Christopher’s – side until the rest of the team arrives, Eli carrying the heavy med kit on his back. “I’ll get the man, Eli check the kid,” Bobby instructs, sinking to his knees beside Buck. “What’s the story with them, Buck?” “I got here just a couple minutes before the guy passed out. Didn’t say his name but his kid is called Christopher. He looked super weak, a-and they’re both freezing.” Bobby and Eli share a look over Buck’s shoulder and Eli gets to work on Christopher, checking his vital signs and most importantly, his temperature. Bobby repeats the same process on the father, while Tommy and Sal rifle through the backpack on the sled, checking for any useful information on where they’d come from. “Found the guy’s papers, Cap,” says Sal, walking towards Bobby with a flimsy leaflet in his hand. “Say’s the guy’s called Edmundo Diaz, from Sector 126. He’s ex-military but his most recent job was in a sawmill, he might be useful.” “We don’t save people based on use, Sal,” Bobby responds, his eyes not leaving Edmundo as he speaks. “He’s damn cold, temp sitting around 90 and his heart rate and respiratory rate are a little more elevated than I’d like. Eli, how’s the kid?” “Looking fairly rough, Bobby, we’re going to have to hustle to get them back in time. His temp is at 91 so he’ll be looking at pretty severe hypothermia if we don’t warm him up soon.” Bobby sucks air through his teeth, clearly thinking hard. “We’re a good 16 hours out from the city, 17 or 18 with these two and their gear. Think they’ve got it in them to make it that long?” Eli makes a face. “I really don’t know, Cap. The kid, maybe, but the guy’s temp is a little too low for my liking. Maybe if we warmed them up a little, they’d have a better chance. Did Maddie say anything about being able get the snowmobile team out here?” Buck perks up at the mention of the snowmobiles. The team was sent out a day before Buck’s team was, off on a search for supplies a few hundred miles away but were always on call in case a rescue was needed. Getting them to help would cut their travel time almost in half, giving Christopher and Edmundo the precious hours needed to save their lives. “I- I could ride one back with the kid, if they didn’t want to spare a man, Bobby?” he asks hopefully. Sal snorts from his position by the sled. Buck’s love for the snowmobiles is no secret and Bobby’s spent many a mission patiently explaining why it wouldn’t be safe or necessary and otherwise spoiling Buck’s fun. However, this situation calls for haste and Buck is nothing if not an – ah – efficient driver. Bobby looks thoughtful, before standing up and brushing the snow off his pants. “I’ll give dispatch a call and see if she can reroute them to us,” he says, continuing quickly as he watches Buck light up, “but I will be driving. You need to look after the kid, okay?” Buck deflates a little, but something in him stirs as he turns to look at the little figure in the snow next to him. He’s so young, probably no older than 7, and Buck’s heart breaks for him. He’s too young to be experiencing the hardships of the Winter, too innocent to have to watch his father weaken as they journey to a safer home. It’s like a small fire has been kindled in the pit of Buck’s belly as he shuffles closer to the boy and snakes an arm under his neck and the other under his legs, pulling his tiny frame up so he’s in Buck’s lap. Buck is going to protect this boy with his life.
No pressure tagging @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @tizniz @watchyourbuck @wikiangela @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 @pirrusstuff @cal-daisies-and-briars @kitteneddiediaz @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @rainbow-nerdss @wildlife4life @puppyboybuckley @smilingbuckley @disasterbuckdiaz @bucksbackwardcap @fortheloveofbuddie @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @buckbuckgoose @exhuastedpigeon @housewifebuck @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @elvensorceress @babytrapperdiaz @ci5mates @hermscat (let me know if you want to be added or removed from this)
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satureja13 · 6 months
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Vlad's Therapy Game - Part 4
Good news: Both, Bunny and Vlad survived the night! (And of course Diablo too :)
Vlad slept like the dead (that he actually is) even though he only had a quarter of an inch hay between him and the hard, cold soil. After he woke up, he felt like he'd been hit by a tractor - twice. He moaned and crawled up like an old man. Apparently Diablo woke him.
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Diablo: 'Omg, get up already! Finish your job and let's leave this foul place! They devour me with their eyes!' Vlad, barely awake and full of aches: "Sure, pal. Let's get this over with. Keep your distance to the village until I finish work."
Diablo: 'You betcha.'
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Vlad shuffled over to the sculptor's shop. From what he sees, he is a master of his craft and he has no idea why no one wanted to work for him. Well, he'll soon find out. Not that he cared much. This is just a game and he dealt with harder tasks. He'd even been to hell and back. So one day working here won't kill him. It's for Ji Ho and Saiwa - and his best friend Jack after all. There was music playing in the shop, so the sculptor is already there too, despite the early hour.
'Enjoy what'chas got, not what you have not 'tis a weak heart lamenting with sorrow When the days seem cursed, it could always be worse Fight depression with sword and arrow'
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The Sculptor: "Good Morning! You're early, that's great. Take off your shirt and let's start right away. The queen is eagerly waiting for her statue!"
'When the zeppelinous clouds of trouble abound And thunder is clapping and lightning strikes ground Just when yer thinking this may be your last Throw a lash 'round the mast, hold fast!'
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Eh - take off his shirt? He knows this voice. It belongs to the very person who always demands him to take off his shirt!
'When the world ain't right, and it smithes ye with strife Ye can now buckle down, it's a test they call life Very soon you will see what kind of animal you'd be Taking the bite outta life'
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Leander! Vlad's nemesis! The very man who never fails to make him lose his composure! The red-haired devil who wanted to marry him. Yeah - he only cursed Vlad and dragged him down to his hell to protect him - but that does not mean he'll ever forgive him that he touched Ji Ho and almost drowned him! (Which actually wasn't Leander's fault either...)
'When they're testing the gallows, yer hung like a dog Or they're marching us out to a firing squad We just smile and recall all the good times we had It's the best 'til tomorrow It's the best day 'til tomorrow'
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But of course NPC Leander did not recognize him. Because this is just a game. A stupid game! He'll have a word with Tiny Can when he's back, that's for sure... Leander: "Ah the gods sent you! You're beautiful - the Queen will be pleased! Sit over there."
'No considering surrender when yer down in the dregs If ye look down and notice you still have your legs So stand up and fight you just might seize the day It's the best day 'til tomorrow'
The Real McKenzies - Best Day until Tomorrow If you happen to like punk: this song is really good! I just found it by chance and it fits so well!
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And so Vlad took off his shirt (and his pride) for Leander - again... He grit his teeth and tried not to freak out and kill this annoyingly oblivious NPC. And he reminded himself over and over again that this is just a game. And for whom he does this. Ji Ho. Jack. Saiwa. Just. A. Game.
(It seems like NPC Leander ist just as full of himself and annoying as real Leander and therefore the village folks avoids him ^^')
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From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28
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levis-coffeecup · 8 days
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chapter 29| Turning Page
WC-6.5k
Summary
The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.
Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.
But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.
Content/Warnings
canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.
Author’s Note
OMG hiii guysss!
Can't believe that this is the last chapter!! There's so much gratitude in my heart right now. This has been a long long (irregular🤡) ride, and I'm grateful to everyone who's sticked around!
I've tried my best to write an amazing chapter since its the last, which is why this got so delayed. (And I might also have been overworked to the core at work lol ) But there's going to be a long ass note at the the end of the chapter about everything!
Song for the final chapter is by Turning Page by Sleeping at Last!
I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
Chapters
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works
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APRIL 857
It’s an hour past 12, and Levi sits on his balcony looking at the midnight sky.
The thick veil of pollution prevents the stars from being visible. Instead there's street lights and high beams from cars, twinkling on the ground.
He misses the stars from Paradis. It was the first thing he fell in love with once he came to the surface. And he wonders, whether Mae is looking at the stars and thinking of him as well?
The world outside the walls is beautiful.
There are soaring cathedrals that almost reach the sky, and beautiful temples with the most intricate architecture. There’s snow capped mountains and beautiful cherry blossoms. And everyday, from his tiny balcony, he gets to see the sun sink below the sharp silhouette of the towers.
He’s getting to experience the world his comrades died for.
But as beautiful the outside world is, it isn’t home
The development of technology seems unfamiliar. And the people around him haven’t lived their entire lives caged in fear. These people don’t know the cost of freedom.
It has been so long since he’s been back home.
It’s been so long since the Rumbling too.
The earth was left razen. Mountains crumbled to dust and forests burnt to ashes. Countries had simply been wiped off the face of the earth. Years of civilization and developmentsnuffed out in an instant, with no one to record their names.
But against the odds, humanity managed to survive. Traumatized and beaten, but still alive.
Miraculously Levi made it too.
Jean and Connie found him half dead, on the foot of Fort Salta. He was lapsing in and out of consciousness. Devoid of the strength to even stand up.
Tents were made into makeshift hospitals, food was meager. And his first few months were spent on a wooden cot,bed ridden with the stinging pain of his knee and his yearning for Mae.
He yearned to see her when he was trapped with Zeke for a month, he yearned to see her when he woke up with searing pain and bandages all over his face. And now the war was over, but he couldn’t get back to her.
The Rumbling destroyed everything humanity had ever strived for. Rail tracks, roads, ports, farms… everything was abolished as an aftermath.
It was impossible to get to the other side of the world.
Gradually Levi recovered, it took him almost a year. But his strength never returned. The tiniest task would turn him breathless, and the sight in his right eye was gone for good.
The doctors diagnosed him a plethora of health problems. And he was never allowed to look weak, but now he was in a wheelchair, needing help to pick things up from the floor. Life dealt him one blow after another.
Armin, Jean and Connie became busy, making peace with the remaining nations. Mikasa never returned. And Levi found himself, all alone. With a chaotic mind, and too much time on his hands.
Soon the Allied Nations rescued all the survivors from the Titan Waste Lands. Marley was no more, so most refugees ended up taking asylum in Hizuru.
And by the courtesy of Kiyomi Azumabito, Levi was gifted an apartment in the center of the city hall, and citizenship. A tiny apartment in between a lush square, in the city center.
It was tiny, but homely enough. And he would love sitting on the balcony and watching the outside world.
Life got more comfortable and Levi got to see the sights his comrades died for.
But there were still days where he barely had enough strength to pick his remaining fingers. Those days were the worst. And he felt like the walls of his apartment would swallow him up.
The purpose of his life was over. Hange was gone. Erwin was gone. Life came crashing down.
And sometimes, under the flicker of a candlelight, at his tiny desk, he would close his eyes, and imagine that he’s back in Mae’s old house. Learning the alphabet, listening to the soft scratches of her pen as she corrected his writings. It seemed like lifetimes had passed since then.
Mae was always with him, through all his hurdles he faced on the surface. And now he had to face an awfully big one, without her.
So he decided he’ll start to learn writing again. With two fingers of his right hand gone, he had to re-learn how to hold a pen again. He told Onyaknapon to get him books, so he could trace over letters, trying to perfect every curve. Just the way Mae had taught him.
It gave him a sense of purpose, and it also made him feel close to her in some way.
It took three years for the Yeagerists to finally agree to a cordial discussion with the Alliance. Historia sent letters to everyone. And this morning the Alliance left, back to their hometown.
Armin did extend an invitation to him too. But Levi didn’t want to be associated with the world anymore. He didn’t have the strength for it nor the will. His job was done.
“Captain,” A voice pulls him out of his thoughts. Behind him is a sliding door that leads to his room. And on the bed sits Onyakapon.
He points at the three thick journals that take up most of his space in his briefcase.“Are you sure you want to take these back?”
And Levi contemplates. Paper doesn’t spoil, and he should rather carry some spare clothes to keep himself clean.
“Leave the journals there.” His voice comes out gruff, and then it turns wispy. Everything he’s ever felt in these years without her and his limbs, is penned in these flimsy sheets of paper.
“It’s letters I have written to her.” There is no need to clarify. There’s no need to carry his journals all the way back either. But he does it either way. The war has changed him. And Levi realises he doesn’t have to torture himself anymore.
“I’m surprised you never got her to meet us.” Onyakapon smirks. He could have never guessed the captain had a lover.
And a faint smile appears on Levi’s lips as the curve of her smile plays on his mind. He wonders if she found the pearl ring and his letter. He never found the courage to directly hand it to her.
It’s been three years. Three long painful years. Perhaps, she’s forgotten all about him.
“Tch, as if I’ll let you filths near her.” He brushes his feelings off. Masking his thoughts with harsher words. Some things truly never change.
A flight passes over his head, he’ll probably sit in the next one.
“I hope everything is safe out there, hope there’s no hostility.” Onyakapon mumbles as he closes the briefcase.
And Levi gets off from his wheelchair, limping towards his bedpost. “No harm from a guy in a wheelchair.” He tries to joke, but there’s a prick in his heart.
He can’t pick things from the shelf. Some Days he also needed help to get to the toilet. And even though he’s returning back to Mae, there’s nothing he can do for her now.
And while happiness was never a part of his destiny. He hopes she’s happy. At least one of them must be.
“Well if things are bad, you can always come back here captain.” Onyakapon’s voice cuts through the constant torture of his thoughts.
The words bring him enough solace to take him through the night. A rare smile tugs on his lips. “Thanks Onyakapon.”
It’s going to be a long trip.
_________________________
It’s 10 am, and it’s sweltering hot in Mitras. Sweat clings to Levi’s skin, and he wipes it off with the back of his hand.
His briefcase sits on his lap. And he pushes his wheelchair through the dirt road,
Vast meadows stretch in front of him. The air is fresh, and a plethora of apple trees border the sides of the road. Its shade is very welcome in the sun.
Farmhouses are scattered at a distance, crops grow in structured rows. And Levi taps his heel, as he moves past them mindlessly. His thoughts are only set on one.
Historia told him Mae’s house was at the end of the apple plantation. Luckily the terrain is flat, and he’s able to maneuver his wheelchair with ease.
Nonetheless, it’s been a tiring ride.
The royal guards did offer to escort him to Mae’s house, but he declined the offer. The moment approaching was too personal to share with a bunch of strangers.
Soon, what he’s searching for comes to vision, and eagerly he moves forward.
100 meters away from him, down the mud path, is a humble home. Its stone walls are smooth, worn out by time. And the roof is thatched with wood and straws.
There’s a small garden at the front, with saplings that are beginning to sprout. And a few meters away from it all is a park. The sight of which bubbles a bittersweet feeling in Levi's chest.
“This is it.” He exhales, cherishing the cold air on his lips. It’s a breath that he’s been holding in for too long. A yearning that has been living in his heart for years now.
His mind jogs back to a small trip they took 5 years back, on Mae’s birthday. She had booked a small cabin nestled in the middle of farmland.
He still remembers the smile on her face, and the way her eyes crinkled in the sunlight.
Her hair flowed in the wind, and he thoughtlessly followed it. Too enamored by the happiness she radiated.
The birds sang, and the lillies seemed to beam.
Stories were told by the fireplace, and they would stargaze from the flower field. Cuddling under the sheets of the stiff bed, and eating lunch under a tree's shade.
She laughed, then he smiled. And for a fleeting moment, Levi had escaped from all his responsibilities.
He realized he could spend his entire life this way, under the shadow of the sun, and the warmth of their love. He couldn’t care less about saving the world, or his tea shop even…
He just wanted to be here with her.
Forever.
But time stopped for no one. And Levi’s prayers had a habit of going unheard.
And now, 5 years later, life has brought him here again. In a secluded countryside so full of beauty and peace, and so unlike him.
This is the kind of life Mae had always wanted to live. Away from the bustle of the city, where she could spend countless hours looking at the stars.
The door to her house softly clicks. And Levi leans forward, with his breath caught in his throat.
He has felt her caress in the warmth of the sunlight. He’s heard the faint echo of her laughter in the rustling of the leaves. Every breath, every movement, was just in the hopes that he’d get to see her again.
Seasons passed by like shadows, and now finally he’s finally here, moments away from her. The journey has been staggeringly hard.
Time passes at a lumbering pace, and Levi feels like he can almost hear the creaking of the door, as it gets swinged open.
Out steps a man with a basket in his hand. He’s well built and tall, and donned in a casual attire.
And Levi’s heart drops to the floor as a sickening feeling of jealousy takes over. All of a sudden the blood is thunderous in his ears.
He feels like he can’t breathe And his heart burns at the thought that her gentle smile turns to a man who isn’t him.
A moment later, a toddler comes out, chasing behind the man.
And Levi clutches the sides of his wheelchair so tight, that his knuckles turn white.
Fuck
He feels like he’ll vomit.
Like salt to his wounds, the man picks up the child. And she smiles so bright, he can see her sweet giggle, even though it's barely audible in the distance.
The man kisses the toddler’s cheeks, and takes her to the park. And Levi watches the scene with a sting in his eye.
He was her lover once but now he's a mere bystander. A powerless man who can do nothing but just watch. The realization is like a punch to his gut, and a bittersweet memory comes to Levi’s mind.
On their last night in the cabin, he told Mae he didn’t have the time to get her a birthday present. And then she shed a silent tear, telling him how she felt like she’s carrying the entire relationship.
It wasn’t too far from the truth. He had too much on his mind as a soldier. And life was not easy when the weight of humanity rested on your shoulder. Some days he didn’t even have the time to think of her.
And Levi knew he was being selfish by keeping her chained to him, but his heart didn’t know a way of living without her.
He asked what he could do to make it up to her, and she asked him to run away to a peaceful place.
All she had ever wanted was to stay next to him.
The decision was clear in his head then, but now he wonders if he should have just eloped with her… It's not like all the wars he’s fought have turned this world into an ideal place.
The impermanence of life… It’s something that he still can’t comprehend.
What is born shall die, what has started shall end. People come and go out at their own pace. The good moments turn stale, and eventually everyone ends up alone, with only memories to comfort them. Time is truly a fickle piece of shit.
The man places the toddler on the swing, before he heads the other way. And Levi gets consumed by his thoughts.
He had people who he once held close too. Erwin, Hange, Isabel, Farlan. But they left.
He wasn’t prepared for their deaths, but somehow he made his peace with it.
But he's not ready to let Mae go yet.
Not when her name is etched in the depths of his heart. Not when her thoughts have troubled him day and night. His heart yearns for her so deep, it doesn’t know another way of living.
It was supposed to be his kid, she was supposed to be his wife. He wanted to start his tea shop too. Life just had some other plans after all.
There were days when he didn’t have the strength to get out of his makeshift bed, there were days where his injuries hurt so much, he thought he’d prefer death over the pain of living like this. But he pushed and pushed.
Because at the end of this tunnel, he saw her.
The sweet end of his tiresome journey, The reward for his unyielding perseverance. His home after years of loneliness.
But it’s been three years now. And she’s not his anymore.
A part of him wants to throttle this man, for laying his hands on her. And a part of him wants to hate on her too. But it isn’t her fault as well.
His heart has been placed in the palm of her hand for far too long. And if she decides to break it, then he’ll just have to disseminate.
He guesses he’ll just have to live with the weight of being all alone.
The silence consumes,
And Levi taps his heel in frustration.
Time passes by painfully slowly. And one minute turns into fifteen.
The man and toddler are long gone now, but Levi still continues to bleed on the edge of his seat. He continues to sweat in the heat. Too nervous to move forward, yet too regretful to turn away.
Old habits die hard, he guesses.
The strength to move forward wanes from his body and every breath he takes only shatters his composure into pieces. He never thought he’d have to taste defeat, after winning over the entire world.
There’s some shuffling in the woods, and he swivels around aghast. His reflexes are not as sharp as he used to be. And he’s too exhausted to put on the act of a stone cold person.
He tries honing on the sound of movement but what use would that even be?
Back in the day he had the strength to beat any person to a pulp. But now with his crippled leg, he’s more of a burden, than a lover.
His hands trace back to his scars, a habit he has recently developed. And insecurity floods his mind.
He feels stupid pondering over something as trivial as his appearance. He wouldn’t even pay it a thought when he was in the Survey Corps. But he’s on the way to meet the love of his life and there’s these scars on his face that make him look fucking hideous.
The pit he's falling into is not unfamiliar. It’s something that bothers him everytime he looks into the mirror.
And in the haze of his insecurities. A sweet voice finds him.
“Dadd-a?”
He gasps, slowly turning towards the voice.
A little girl peeks at him from behind a tree trunk. He can’t see much of her, as she’s a few feet away, partly covered between the dense layers of trees. But he recognises her as the same child, who stepped out of Mae’s house a few moments ago.
The silence stretches, and she continues looking at him. With her eyes all wide and beaming. And Levi sighs, not knowing how to react.
He decides he doesn’t have it in him to see Mae or her happy family. He’ll just come back another day, when his heart hurts a little less.
And so he turns his wheelchair around, almost taking a U turn. But the same innocent voice stops him again.
“Dadd-a,” the girl squeals, and her tiny shoes squeak as she waddles towards him.
And Levi feels stumped, when she wraps her tiny body around his leg.
He’s always been quick to react to situations, but now he’s frozen.
He wonders why this little girl is hugging his leg, and how she’s not scared of how scary he looks with the huge scars on his face.
And as much bitterness his heart holds at the cruel turn of fate, her purity washes it away. Slowly, gently, deliberately. His features soften, and he decides the least he can do is drop her back home to safety.
He huffs, bending down to pick her up. And as he lifts her up by her armpits, his eyes are met with the same shade of silver.
Her skin is pale, papery white in complexion and her hair is the same shade of midnight black as his. Everything from the shape of her face to the shade of her lips comes from him. And there’s also a little cravat tucked inside her red polka dot dress.
“Daddaaa,” she chimes as if she recognizes him.
And a shuddered breath escapes his lips. Her smile… It comes from Mae.
She is his. Theirs. A part of him and a part of Mae.
And Levi has faced strong emotions before. He’s had his stomach churn with anxiety, and he’s had his heart overrun with grief and loss. He’s always anticipated all the things that could happen in his future, trudged every moment with caution. But no amount of preparedness could prepare him for the moment in front of him.
His hands tremble, as he puts her down on the floor. He’s a father now… he’s been a father for the past 3 years. It's too much to process. And his heart beats so fast in his chest, he’s afraid it will break out of his ribs.
“Lilly, Lilly,” A familiar voice cuts through the moment and his heart skips a beat.
“How many times have I told you not to-” Mae steps out of the trees, panting and worried. But the sight in front of her makes the words on her tongue scurry away.
Levi is a few meters away from her, in a wheelchair with 2 long scars running down his face, just the way the Queen had foreseen in the paths.
Everyday, she has stared at this road for countless hours, waiting for him to show up. It feels like she’s waited a lifetime to see him again.
The years of separation pass by her eyes.
Countless nights were spent crying into his shirt and every breath felt like a burden.
Everyone was ecstatic about the liberation of their island. And Mae was condemned to be alone, with her dwindling will to live.
Then she met Samuel and Claus, the soldiers who showed empathy to her, in a world that had become too hostile for anyone who supported the alliance.
They took her to the Queen, and the Queen recognised her instantly, as the doctor who helped when Trost was breached.
And as a Survey Corps Soldier who was once a part of the Levi’s squad, the Queen made it her mission to protect and provide for the ones who were close to the Alliance.
That’s when Mae moved into the peaceful countryside, with Jean and Connie’s mom.
Living with people who dealt with the same grief surely gave some solace, but life was still painful. And in the midst of her pain, like a beam of light into stark darkness, her baby came into this world.
And Mae never thought she’d get to see Levi’s eyes again, but they were right in front of her. Resting so peacefully against her chest.
That night she cried tears of gratitude. Life crashed into her as peacefully as it could.
“Mama mama, dadd-a has come back,” Her daughter squeals, with her tiny finger pointing towards Levi. Her grasp on her leg is still tight, and her eyes sparkle with joy.
And Mae tries to smile, but it gets dissolved in the trail of her tears.
This moment has haunted her every second, wrecked her entire being. And as she steps closer to the dream of Levi she’s had, every night since she was pregnant, the details of him come to life.
Her eyes follow the strong curve of his jaw, chiseled as if it has been carved by an artist. The ridge of his nose is sharp as always and his thin eyebrows are slightly disheveled.
She caresses him with her gaze, before her touch can even come close.
Two different Levi’s look back at her now. On the left, his face is marred, with two long scars running down his face. He is hurt and hidden away. And she can never see him through his cloudy iris.
But in his other eye, there are flecks of hope. The black of his pupil has expanded, and his iris shines blue in the sunrays. He wears his heart on his sleeve, Mae swears she has never seen him this vulnerable before.
And she might have lived without him for 3 years, but he has lived inside her every second, in her every thought. Her hand extends towards him out of deprivation.
Life hasn’t been the kindest to her.
But when the pads of her fingers reach the hollow of his cheek, her heart steadies itself. Whenever her eyes met his orbs , her ears met his voice, and her body met his touch. His familiarity always envelopes her. As if the hearth of a warm house, always welcoming and open.
Her hands reach to his lips, the shape of which she can trace on paper, even with her eyes shut close.
And Levi closes his eyes in alleviation.
There’s a search for words. Words for the longing, words for the separation.
And Mae shudders, as the pads of her fingers skim over his skin. They trace over his scars, the old and the new. From the top of his forehead, down to the edge of his chin. From the curve of his necks down the length of his arms.
Three years have passed by, but his features are still as strong.
Her caress reaches the end of his arm, and her fingers find the indents of his knuckles. Gingerly she takes his palm into hers,
And Levi is quick to wrap the 3 fingers that remain on his hand, around her.
Her touch feels both foreign and achingly familiar. He has craved this so much.
Mae’s eyes widen at the gesture, heavy with tears. And she kisses the spot where his 2 fingers once used to be. Levi is as real as ever, she can feel every divot of his skin against her lips.
The realization breaks her, and she drops to the floor. With her head on his lap, and her arms sprawled all over his thighs.
There’s disbelief, there’s elation. The feeling can never be put into words. Her shoulders wilt, heavy with the pain of separation, and she cries into his lap.
“I missed you… You weren’t there.” Her voice is muffled against his skin. “I thought I’d never see you again.” Her sobs pierce through the quiet of the farmland.
And he stares wide eyed, biting back his tears as well.
The pain she has carried with her all these years, is right in front of him. Laced into the heavy sobs that rake through her frame.
And Levi knows he should pick her up and kiss the shit of her, but he’s frozen. For his gaze is stuck on the familiar pearl ring that rests on her ring finger.
Words fail him, and his heart spasms in his chest. “D-did y-you ? He can only stutter, as his touch lingers over the pearl. ”A-after all this time?”
The question hangs in the air, but the answer is right in front of him. In the grief that occupies her heart, in the love that still brims in her eyes. And in the tiny girl who looks exactly like him.
It feels like all the sacrifices he’s made in life have finally come to fruition. His directionless quest has finally found its destination. His exhausted soul has found its shelter.
There’s such mercy in this moment, all he can do is shudder and let out an exhale. Maybe in exhaustion, maybe in fulfillment.
And Mae looks up at him, her eyes tinged red with tears. “I was only going to wait one more year, good that you came back in time.”
He puts his hand on her head, and her body trembles beneath his touch. All the grief she has held onto for so long, slows paroles in the form of her tears.
The scene is as heartbreaking, as it is rewarding.
“Ma-ma,” Lilly babbles, her voice as bright as sunlight cutting through storm clouds. And Levi looks at her as she tries to fit herself in the space between Mae’s hunched frame and his legs.
She settles into Mae’s lap, and Mae is forced to look into her eyes full of wonder.
“Mama…” she coos, and her tiny hands wipe the fat tears that roll down Mae’s face.” Dad-da’s back, don-t be sad.”
And Mae smiles at that, certainly she takes a lot from her father.
“You’re right, my love…let’s take Dada home shall we?” Her voice turns gentler, and she gets up with Lily in her arms.
“Levi?” Mae questions, gesturing towards his lap.
And Levi hesitates, a little too afraid that he’s too scary for the delicate human being.
“You’ll be a great father, don’t worry.”
The second time he looks at her, he knows he’s doomed. Her cheeks are round and full, as if there’s food stuffed inside them. And her eyes are just like his, but there’s a brightness in them that he never had.
She settles on his lap. And as he wraps his arms around her waist, she places her tiny palms on his scarred forearms. And Levi realizes there is nothing he wouldn’t do for this tiny person that he’s just met a few moments ago.
His heart feels full of love.
Mae starts pushing his wheelchair forward. And he closes his eyes, as he feels the wind against his face. It’s a moment that makes him feel grateful to be alive.
In a span of a few minutes, they’re already outside the veranda to her house. And Levi can smell the Lavender she has planted in the front garden.
“It’s not a big house but it’s enough. I stay here with Jean and Connie’s mom… Luckily for us though, they’ve gone to Trost for a bit.” Mae speaks, as she picks Lily from Levi’s lap, and places her inside the house.
“It’s a very sweet place though. All the farmers staying around often visit. It’s like a big family. Borris was here too, half an hour back. You might have seen him…he wanted to take some cookies for his son.”
“Ahh,’ Levi drawls, as if he didn’t spend fifteen minutes hating on that man. “I don’t think I saw him.”
She takes his briefcase in one hand, and hooks her other arm around his waist. Slowly helping him up the short flight of stairs. And he wants to do nothing, but melt in her embrace
“I can walk for a few minutes.” Her murmurs, almost embarrassed.
“You’re not walking anywhere until I check your leg myself.” She reprimands, but the softness in her eyes contradicts her strict tone.
As it turns out, Mae’s house is very much a home.
The interior is simple and modest. There’s a couch, two wooden chairs and a table in the front room. The wooden floor creaks as he steps in. And the walls are filled with the crayon marks.
“I’ll get your wheelchair inside.” Mae mumbles as she seats Levi on the couch.
And when Mae comes back in again, Lilly has already managed to climb on the couch. She’s standing on Levi’s lap with her hands on his cheeks. The faintest of smiles plays on Levi’s lips, and he holds her by the waist, making sure she doesn’t lose balance.
The sight makes Mae’s heart swell. Her entire world is now in front of her. Her heart feels so full and so heavy at the same time. And her eyes turn misty again.
“Oi oi, don’t start with all the crying again?” Levi mutters as he notices her standing by the door.
And Mae sniffs, overwhelmed. “I’ll make you some tea?”
“Yaa- Da-dda love teaaa.” Lilly squeals, before Levi can even respond to Mae.
And Mae smiles. Her family is finally complete... a few years back she would have never believed she’d get the privilege of experiencing this.
And just as she’s about to turn towards the kitchen, Levi stops her.
“Mae…” His voice drawls, and he pats the spot next to him. “Tea can wait.”
_________________________
The world outside fades into a quiet hum as the bustle of the morning stretches into the lull of the afternoon.
The sun has draped itself over the earth, like a soft blanket. And Levi rests on the bed. He’s just finished his lunch, and he allows himself to sink into the mattress.
Time seems to have been caught in the gentle sway of the trees, and Levi takes his sweet time looking at the things around him.
Lily's soft toys are stacked on top of the cupboard. And there's a wooden cabinet, filled with all of Mae's favorite books.
The curtains are made of colorful crocheted patchwork. And somehow Mae has managed to bring most of her things from her house in Trost here.
But it's not just that. Levi's stuff is here too.
There’s a cupboard next to Mae with his clothes folded and organized just the way he likes it. His favorite novels and teacups are kept in a separate cabinet. And right in front of the bed, there's a wall with paintings of the three of them together.
It feels like nothing has changed, like he was never away.
And everytime he closes his eyes, his heart begins to race. But for the first time, the adrenaline that flows through him isn’t nerve-racking. It feels exciting
The curtains above his head billow softly with the wind. A mild breeze enters the bedroom and Levi tilts his face to bask in its warmth.
His whole world now lies in his arms. Snoring peacefully, with her hand wrapped around his finger. She's so tiny, that all of her body fits on his torso.
And he lets out a sigh as he feels the subtle rise of her tiny chest against his own.
“Are you not able to sleep, because all of a sudden there’s a child on your chest, and you don’t know where she came from?” Mae steps into the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.
“I can clearly tell where she comes from.” Levi comments as he looks at his dear daughter. “Is this why you were crying so much the day I was leaving for Marley?”
“Mhmm… “ Mae nods, as she rests her back against the door. And Levi closes his eyes, listening to her voice.
“You had to save the world Levi, you had to give it your all. And you would have died hating yourself if you knew you had a child coming into the world, that you weren’t going to be there for… As much as I was dying to tell you about my pregnancy, I thought it was best to keep it from you…” It’s an uncomfortable topic that defines the rest of their future, Mae’s eyes fall to the ground.
If only she would look up, she would see Levi with the faintest of smiles, thinking of how he can actually see her instead of imagining her.
“I know a child was never something you wanted… So I understand how complicated this situation can be for you.” Mae goes on and Levi lays still with his eyes shut in contentment, hoping for time to slow down.
“What?” She gasps, finally looking up at him. “Say something? I’ll never know how you’re feeling if you don’t tell me about it.”
Finally his eyes flutter open, and he looks at her through the curtain of his lashes. A faint smile plays on his lips, and his cheeks turn pink as he stretches out his other hand towards her. “Come here.”
In an instant, her features soften, turning into one of relief. And she smiles as makes her way to him.
She rests her head on his shoulder.And he drinks in every detail. As if he’s a parched man, dying of thirst. His heart pounds in his chest, and then his gaze falls towards her lips.
It doesn’t take too long for their lips to fuse together. It’s a simple kiss, but it’s been years.
They part in bliss.
And Levi brings her hands to his lips, pressing a doting kiss on her skin. She’s his to keep, his to salvage.He can’t put his gratitude into words.
“Thank you.” His voice is heavy. “ I-I…” He wants to tell her how happy he is to be next to her. He wants to tell her how exhausting it was without her. And that he can’t believe she’s all his. He wants to tell her about all the letters he’s written to her. But his heart is lodged so deep in his throat that he can’t squeak out the words he desperately wants to say.
“Rest my love.” She keeps her thumb on his lip, tracing his bottom lip. “We have time.”
His eyes flutter shut at her words, and her hand reaches to the top of his head. She starts combing out the hair that falls on his forehead.
His old scars have faded, almost blending into his skin. And the hard muscles on his chest have been replaced with soft dimpled skin. The lines in the corner of her eyes run deep.
He’s softer now. Marked by age, but just as beautiful.
Her finger traces down his cheek, following the scar that runs across his face. The feeling of his skin dipping under her fingers almost feels overwhelming.
“Levi,” she calls, caressing the side of his face. And he responds by leaning into her touch.
“I can’t believe you’re real,” She murmurs.
The silence is blissful.
And Levi feels his heart flutter, just like it did when she held his hand for the first time.
“Mae…” his voice trails off and he gulps. “How did Lily recognise me?... It feels like she knows so much about me?”
And Mae tilts her head up. “She’s heard stories about you ever since she was in my womb, of course she knows a lot about you… We even got someone to draw a portrait of you last year, because she wanted to see you for her birthday.”
“She thinks you’re some kind of hero Levi.” Mae yawns, “A few months back, she was trying to eat food by herself, and she ended up making a mess… which was fine because she was just learning, but she started crying frantically, and I asked her what happened? She said Dada wouldn’t like her, because she made a mess and Dada hates messes.”
Mae’s eyes trail to the way her daughter sleeps, with her cheek squished against Levi’s chest, and her eyes are shut close in peace. “She thinks you’re some kind of hero.”
And Levi remains silent. Afraid the words will ruin the tender moment.
It might seem like he’s dozed off, but the pink crawling on his cheek tells otherwise.
And Mae looks at him with the softest of smiles. For the first time in a long while, her heart feels complete.
“Actually she is right… you are a hero.” She mumbles as she closes her eyes in peace.
And a single tear slips past his eye.
He’s finally home.
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Thoughts? Thoughts? Thoughts?
I know its a very simple, cliche, happily ever after ending, but I really REALLY wanted Levi to have a family of his own, and experience a normal, happy life, which is why I made Mae pregnant lol.
To anyone who has made this far. I would love to know your thoughts on the entire story. Things you liked, didn't like. Your feedback is crucial.
I'm going to start editing this fic from now on, and whatever you say will be considered. So I would love to know your thoughts on what could get better and be improved.
Something else, I'm very excited about is designing and illustrating a book cover (since I am a graphic designer lol) and get a few hardcopies printed for myself!! I'm assuming I'll be done with it by DEC 25th, so right now I do plan to post an Epilogue/ bonus chapter and share the book cover designs on Dec 25th. (I don;t know if anyone is interested in this, but I'm just doing it for myself hehe)
I would like to thank the many people who have been a constant support while writing this. I don't think I can tag everyone since they are on different platforms, so I'll just mention their names here. @Alexandra218943 , Cupidcup, @musumusuhasi and Abha , I wouldn't have completed this without you, so thank you <3
And to all the people who have commented, and interacted with the story at any point. I want to let you know that I've had a shit month at work, my self esteem has been at an all time low , and the only thing that's made me feel capable of something are your comments, and I keep going back to them! So thank you for that, I am immensely grateful!
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