#has anyone done this yet help

[spenglerstwinkie]

MUSTARDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

[o-wild-west-wind]

ofmd is like not comedy as in sitcom but comedy as in shakespearean where it’s psychological trauma and conflicts of violence but with dick jokes and the promise of marriage in the end

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - The Twins

You guys ready?! I don't think you are :3 @spotaus

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

Are you guys ready? For this drabble of 5000 words? <3

Get cozy. Because we are finally here <3 The long awaited meeting.

*----------------------*

Nightmare rubs his arm as he glances at his dads. None of them look happy about what is about to happen.

Dust notices him looking and relaxes his face “You ready?”

Nightmare frowns as he rubs his arm again. Checking his own outfit again. He is wearing his favourite pants. They are wide and have nice ribbons on the side and they are a soft pastel pink. It goes nicely with his bat hoody.

Nightmare shrugs before walking towards Dust’s side and relaxes a bit when he feels himself be picked up. Dust nuzzles the side of his skull “Ready?”

Nightmare feels a lot less sure and mutters “What if this is a bad idea?” He has no idea how Dream will react to him. What if this is a bad idea? What if Dream just looks at him and walks away? What if… what if nothing is different? What is Dream still hates him? Still attacks him? Even after everything?

Sure Dream now knew that Nightmare did what he had to do to fix the balance. But Nightmare doesn’t know if Dream even knows why Nightmare attacked the villagers. They fought so often and he never wanted to listen… Nightmare still isn’t sure if Dream will listen to him.

Sure… Dream knows the balance thing now. But that is probably just because some other god told him. Maybe Error and Ink… Not Nightmare… Dream didn’t listen to him and never wanted to listen to him. What would change now?

What if Dream only likes him now because he is small again? Now that he isn’t the… the evil that took his brother anymore? Would Dream even accept that past as a part of him? Would Dream just always hate a side of Nightmare?

Could Nightmare deal with that? Could he accept Dream hating a part of him just to have some love from his brother? Finally after so much time?

Dust pokes his cheek and Nightmare sees the worried look on his face “Nightlight?” and he gentle rubs away a tear from his cheek.

Oh.

Nightmare is quick to rub the other tears away and mutters “What if Dream still hates me?”

Dust frowns and rubs his skull before pulling the hood on “Then… he is an idiot.” Nightmare blinks and stares at Dust. Dust grins back “You are our tiny adorable babybones. Maybe I am biased but I am unsure how anyone could ever hate you.” and he gets another nuzzle.

Killer grins and gives him his own nuzzle “Oh we are very biased. Our little boss is perfect and can do no wrong.” Nightmare feels himself get embarrassed as he looks away.

Cross sighs as he pulls Killer back “Kills, you will get more goop on him and he just had his bath.” Cross carefully checks his face before nodding.

Killer wiggles his eyebrows at Cross “Bet you don’t mind getting some goop on your face.”

Cross looks very unimpressed at Killer before grabbing his hand and giving Killer a half bow as Cross kisses his knuckles. Cross looks up and winks at Killer “Maybe later when we are alone. If you behave.” Killer sputters and glows bright red.

Dust rolls his eyes “Not in front of Nightmare.” and he gets another nuzzle which Nightmare happily leans into.

Horror returns to their side and checks his outfit before nodding “Should be warm enough.”

Killer sighs “It is still warm out…”

Horror hums “Better be safe.”

“Mh. If you four were planning on being safe you wouldn’t even be meeting with Dream and Blue with him to begin with.”

Nightmare looks up excited “Error!”

Error has appeared in their kitchen and shoots him a tiny grin before glaring at the others “It is an unnecessary risk.” He crosses his arms.

Cross frowns “It is actually necessary. If we don’t do this meeting on our terms in another universe it is a matter of time before we are found here.”

Nightmare doesn’t like that. It would mean hiding all over again. He pushes close to Dust “I don’t want to move.”

Dust hums softly and nuzzles him “I know. We don’t want to move either.”

Nightmare nods and looks at his hands “Is this a bad idea?” He knows it is.

Dust hums “Not precisely… we are just worried.” He nuzzles him again “We don’t want to risk you. In any way.”

Nightmare sneaks a look but Dust looks honest. Dust keeps looking at him “Do you still want to do this?”. Nightmare just stares at Dust but Dust looks serious “I mean it. If you changed your mind and don’t want to do this. We will blow this whole thing off.”

Nightmare frowns and looks to the side “Won’t that cause trouble?”

Dust shrugs “Maybe but we can fix that.”

Error nods “I am already working on relocating this universe to other coordinates. Meaning you will soon be hidden again.”

Dust nods and nuzzles him “Nothing has to change. We don’t have to go. You don’t own them anything.” He just looks at him “You have already had to do too much Nightmare. It is fine to just put yourself first.”

Nightmare frowns as he thinks it over before looking back at Dust “I want to see him.” because even if he is afraid. Even if he knows Dream will just hate him. Even if he knows this will just hurt him. He wants to see Dream. He needs to know for sure. Know for sure where they stand.

Dust nods and looks at the others. Nightmare can see that Killer and Cross clearly are not happy. Horror looks worried and rubs his skull “If you want to leave. We leave. No questions asked.” Nightmare smiles and leans into the touch.

Horror smiles at him before shooting Killer, Cross and Error a look “We are going.” Cross grumbles unhappily but gets his knife ready to open the portal.

They walk through and into a forest. It is still warm out with only a light breeze. The leaves are all a beautiful range of yellows, oranges and reds and Nightmare just stares in awe. It is so pretty out here.

Cross and Killer quickly check the area before nodding. Horror looks at them amused “We are still ten minutes away from the meeting spot. Lets go.” he shoots Error a look “You coming?”

Error considers and shoots him a look before speaking “I will keep an eye out. In case stuff goes south I will quickly move you to another universe. Any preference as backup?”

Nightmare speaks without thinking “Ccino’s.”

Error needs a moment as he types before nodding “Easy enough. If anything goes wrong I will send you there. In the meantime I will work on the relocation.” And he steps into a glitchy portal and he is gone.

Sigh. Error is so cool. Nightmare will figure out how to hold his hand one of these days!

Horror joins Dust’s side and mumbles softly “Do you want any of us to hold him?”

Dust frowns as he looks at him for a long time. Clearly not wanting to let go of him. Before he sighs and looks at Cross “Cross? Can you hold him and stay out of sight?”

Cross smiles brightly and nods as he is by his side within seconds “I will make sure they can’t see him until you give me the signal.” Cross’s hold is different from Dust. Dust’s hold is always tight and so close. Cross’s hold is more gentle but still steady. Unmoving in the way he holds him.

Nightmare hums and leans against Cross.

Cross takes a deep breath and nothing seems to happen but Killer gives him the thumbs up “Invisible to see.” Dust looks less happy and shifts his sight around clearly searching.

Cross must see it too because he takes Dust’s hand and helps him find Nightmare’s. Dust immediately relaxes. Cross smiles brightly as he speaks cheerfully “At least with the walk we can do it like this.”

Dust looks thankful and mutters that he is.

They start walking and Nightmare enjoys the soft sunlight and warmth around him. He lets himself relax as he feels Cross’s soul nearby. Safe and sound.

They enter a clearance and Nightmare looks up only to freeze. That are Dream and Blue. He feels himself sink closer to Cross and Cross pulls him closer as well. Dust has sadly removed his hand but Nightmare is still close to one of his dads and that is enough.

Dream looks up eagerly and looks between those there. Then he frowns.

Blue frowns as well “Euh… where is Nightmare?”

Killer grins as he holds up a knife “Just making sure we got some ground rules first.”

Dream frowns as he gets up himself “We already discussed those. No one will learn of this meeting. This stays between us all. No aggression and no making any move to remove Nightmare from you.”

Nightmare just keeps leaning against Cross. Waiting.

Killer nods along “Yes exactly. Those are the rules we settled on. But you know. You never said what you would gain from speaking to Nightmare.” he grins and waits.

Dream blinks and looks down. Messing with his shirt “I just… I want to see him… say I am sorry…” he looks desperate “You want me to beg?! Because I will! Just… Tell me what you want!”

Killer looks at Dust and Dust shrugs. Horror turns slightly and nods into their general direction.

Cross nuzzles his skull and slowly becomes visible. Much to the obvious shock of Blue and Dream.

Dream looks confused at them and mutters “Why take your child along?” as he keeps looking around hopefully. Blue however stares at him and Nightmare stares back. Nightmare can see when it clicks for Blue.

Blue takes a sharp breath and takes a few steps back “Nightmare?”

Dream looks at Blue and sees where he is staring. And he stares at Nightmare. Nightmare can see that it just takes one look for Dream to realise who he is. Dream takes a sharp breath and is already four steps closer before he even mutters his name “Nighty?”

Killer stands between them and has his knife aimed at Dream’s throat “Don’t.”

Dust has his own blaster out and aimed at them and Horror just stands between them and the stars.

Blue holds up his hands “Okay… let’s calm down…” he pulls on Dream’s shoulder and makes him take a few steps back. Dream however just keeps staring at him “Easy Dream… Easy… deep breaths. Just take a moment.”

Dream however is shaking as he keeps staring at him. He glances at Nightmare’s dads between staring “How… How is he… Why is he? What did you four do?!”

Killer sputters and glares “We didn’t do shit-” Dust immediately hits his skull.

“Language.”

Killer grumbles but nods “Yeah yeah I know. Nightmare don’t copy that.”

Nightmare rolls his eyes but leans against Cross more as Cross snickers into his shoulder.

Killer rubs his own shoulder as he speaks “Again. We didn’t do anything. All we know is. That one day his apple and god related magic disappeared. And what was left was Nightmare in his full glory.” Killer stops and grins “Well. His true form at least.” He grins a Dream and the grin turned sharper “After all… The apple thing happened when he was six… You had time to grow up once you exited the stone didn’t you? When exactly was Nightmare supposed to grow up?”

Dream is breathing shallowly as he takes it in. His eyelights small and staring at him. Nightmare can’t look away.

Blue is the one who speaks “You mean… the whole time… Nightmare was actually…”

Dust speaks calmly “Six? Pretty much.”

Blue just stares ahead and laughs as he rubs his forehead “A six year old managed to outsmart most of the other gods and stay out of trouble for almost 500 years… what the hell.”

Dust and Killer both freeze and Nightmare huffs as he crosses his arms “Not exactly… I had more like… thinking space and stuff… I was better able to handle the magic and powers in that form…” he leans more against Cross “Not anymore.”

Cross coos and nuzzles him “Our little baby.”

Blue gives a slow nod, huh he is holding Dream’s hand and squeezing his hand to reassure him? Blue smiles “And now… the apple magic is gone?”

As soon as he says it Cross pulls him closer and takes three steps back. Dream makes a pained noise as he reaches for him “please… please don’t go…”

Everyone is still. Dream takes a shaking step closer “Nighty? Please… I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am sorry I didn’t listen to you. I am sorry I didn’t hear you out before… When I first joined the multiverse. It was stupid of me to believe the words of those I just met over you. It was stupid of me to not even hear you out and I am sorry. I swear. I swear I have been working on fixing it. I made sure everyone knows it was my fault and that you helped them.”

Dream takes another step closer and Nightmare can hear all four of his dads growl at him.

Dream just continues talking “I am sorry… For way back too… I should have.. I should have stayed with you with the tree… I found a copy of our story… I know now… I swear. I swear I didn’t know. If I had known what they did I wouldn’t have left you! I swear!” he smiles.

Nightmare doesn’t know what to do. What to feel. It is… isn’t this what he wanted? Dream sees he is wrong. Dream is saying he would have been there for him if he had known… Then why does he still doubt it?

Nightmare frowns as he looks away from Dream and leans more against Cross again and speaks “You are just saying that because I am like this again…” there!

Dream shakes his skull “No! I swear it isn’t! I wanted to talk to you for this reason. To apologise!” he takes another few steps closer and Horror remains as a living wall between him and Cross and Nightmare. Dream stares desperate “I swear. I swear on my soul that I didn’t know and I was planning on saying all of this already.” He looks back at Blue.

Blue sees it and nods “It is true! He has been trying to find you for a year now. Well longer even! As soon as we found the storybook in Dreamtale. He has been wanting to talk to you. Before we even figured out the balance business! I swear and I promise this is the truth.”

Nightmare frowns as he stares at them both. Blue is a rather honest person… He looks at his dads for reference.

Cross sees him look and pulls him close as he mutters softly “I think he is being honest…” Cross did spend the most time with the Stars before he joined Nightmare…

He looks at Horror and Horror still seems calm. The fact Horror doesn’t have his weapon out yet says a lot about what he thinks about the situation. Killer and Dust still look unhappy but both of them are always unhappy when it comes to anyone being near him.

Dream rubs his hands and looks at them begging “Can I… Maybe… It would be amazing… And I get if you don’t want to but.” He takes a deep breath “Nighty… can I please hug you?”

Cross freezes and takes four steps back. A blink and a loud distressed noise leaves Dream as he looks around searching. Oh… Cross made them both invisible.

Dust growls as he stalks towards Dream. Lightning and electricity crackling loudly “You have some fucking nerve. After all the pain and problems you caused.”

Blue looks shocked as he mutters “Acolytes…”

Nightmare frowned. He isn’t sure what Blue means. They are just them…

Horror looks very unimpressed as Killer just laughs loudly “Really?! Still trying to steal him?! Like this?! You don’t even try to make it subtle.” And he shakes his skull.

Dream looks desperate “I am not trying to steal him! I just want to hug my twin!” he holds himself as tears leak from his optics “I miss him… I have missed him so much. All because I was too dumb and too blind to look at the facts. I just want to hold him. Hug him…” he looks at them begging “Just once. Please. Just… just tell me what you want!”

Killer huffs and looks unimpressed but Dust lets the electricity slowly shimmer down again.

Nightmare frowns before looking at Cross. Cross sees him look and looks panicked “You don’t need to.”

Nightmare rubs his arm and mutters softly “I want to.” Silence around them and yeah Nightmare figured everyone would hear.

Cross looks deeply unhappy but sighs before bringing their skulls together. Then he slowly walks over to Dream and Blue as Dream just looks so damn hopeful.

Killer steps between them “Yeah. We are putting in some insurance. Blue. Over there.” Blue blinks but nods as he walks to the side. Killer nods to Dust and Dust summons a loaded blaster aimed at Blue.

Blue freezes and looks a whole lot more nervous “euh….”

Killer grins “Insurance!” he grins widely at Dream “You make a single move to steal our babybones and your bestie will be turned into dust.” He winks cheeky “Understood?”

Dream looks horrified at Blue but so wishful at him “I… I… You can’t… Blue…”

Blue frowns as he looks up “You only shoot when he tries to leave with him right?”

Dust nods. Blue nods again and grins at Dream “It is fine Dream. Just stay with them and get your hug.”

Dream looks shocked but then so hopeful at him. Cross gets close and pulls him slightly away from him. Dream has his arms out and they shake lightly. Dream lets out a pained noise and Nightmare suddenly regrets giving that apple magic back to his cat version. Seeing as now the scars on his skull are very obvious.

One pass later and Dream is holding him. Dream just stares in shock at him “You looks exactly the same… except” tears leave his sockets and Dream just hugs him fully against him. Before he crumbles to the ground and Nightmare hears and feels Dream cry against him as he mutters stuff to him As he light as a feather strokes the scars on his skull.

“Nighty.”

“I missed you so much.”

“I am sorry.”

“I am so so so sorry.”

“I swear I will be better.”

“It is so good to see you.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you so much.”

“I love you.”

That is the one that makes him freeze and react “No you don’t.”

Silence and Dream pulls away from his hug to look at him. Not permitting him even an inch to move away. Nightmare just looks down “You don’t love me.” That he knows at least.

Dream shakes and shakes his skull “I do love you.”

Nightmare rolls his eye lights as he mutters “You only say that because I look like this… If I had still been an adult you would have still hated me.”

Dream shakes his skull and just holds him close “I always loved you. I swear. I know I haven’t been a good brother. I know I failed in everything that makes a brother a brother and I swear I will do better. But I always loved you Nightmare.”

Nightmare looks to the side “You tried to kill me.” He still has nightmares of Dream attacking him.

Dream sniffs and sobs “I know. And I am so sorry and I swear I thought it was the only thing I could do.” he pulls back and brings their foreheads softly together “It… it is okay.” he sobs but keeps speaking “It is okay… if you hate me… forever. I would… it would be deserved. For everything I did. But I need… I need you to know. I always loved you. I swear to you.”

Nightmare just stares at him. He isn’t sure what Dream sees on his face but it must be that Nightmare doesn’t believe him as he just keeps crying. Dream rolls up as far around him as he can and just sits there. Sobbing as he mutters more apologise and love declarations. Promises to be better and do everything in his power to prove it.

The hug… is very nice though. Nightmare is surprised by how nice the hug feels.

Most shocking is that his soul recognises Dream’s soulbeat. It is so much like his own but slightly off rhythm. But unlike with his dads. His soul doesn’t move to match it. They just beat together, slightly out of sync.

Dream seems to notice as well as he holds him closer and Nightmare can hear him try to do some of those breathing exercises to calm his soulbeat. Nightmare can feel how Dream’s soul starts to beat a slightly different speed but it doesn’t change much.

Dream sobs and laughs softly “Why… why don’t they match anymore? They… they should match. They always matched.”

Horror huffs “Because his soul has other bonds to count on now. Nightmare isn’t depended on you Dream. And he hasn’t for a long time.”

Dream freezes and looks up shocked. Dream’s eyes shoot between Nightmare’s dads before turning back to stare at him.

Nightmare isn’t sure what to say. He however makes eye contact with Killer and reaches a hand for him. Killer is by their side immediately and grins at Dream “Well time to return tiny boss to us!”

Dream shakes slightly and Nightmare feels his grip tighten on him but after just one more very close hug Dream clearly forces himself to let go of him. Nightmare is back in Killer’s arms within seconds and it feels nice to be near the other soul again. Nightmare immediately starts to relax and feels his soul start to follow Killer’s rhythm.

Killer coos and Nightmare feels him walk away a bit. By the time he actually takes a moment to open his sockets again he is already back by his dads and Blue and Dream are standing side by side.

Blue has this soft look on his face but Dream… Dream just stands there shaking and staring at him. His hands close to his chest and tears clearly in his sockets.

Nightmare frowns and turns to be close to Killer. Trying to hide. Killer notices and immediately hugs him closer and shifts his hold. Hiding him a bit. Nightmare relaxes as he feels a bit safer.

Dust hums and shrugs “Well. You saw him. Goodbye.” And he turns around.

Dream shouts “Wait!”

Dust glares at him but Dream doesn’t glare back. He just looks begging “Please… please… I can’t… please there has to be some way I can keep seeing Nighty?”

Dust raises a brow “And what exactly could you do for him?”

Dream flinches as he rubs his arms while hugging himself “I am his brother… his twin… We are gods I can… I know I can help him… I can take care of him… I actually got information from gods and know what is going on.” He smiles hopefully.

But Nightmare just feels cold. He doesn’t want to be away from his dads!

Dust just laughs before glaring “If you think for even a second any of us trust you with our babybones you are wrong.”

Dream blinks and glares “I am his brother.”

Dust laughs “And what a good brother you have been. What? Haven’t done enough target practise yet? Or did you already conveniently forget that you had been shooting arrows at Nightmare since the first moment you saw him after you woke up from the stone?”

Dream flinches and shakes his skull “Yes- I mean No! I know that but-”

Dust just walks closer. Electricity crackling “Okay. Then you forgot about the fact that you spread rumours and lies about Nightmare? How you assumed what he was doing and spread that misinformation around? Making his job much more difficult?”

Dream shakes his skull “I know! I told others I was wrong and have righted that wrong and-”

Dust grins sharply “Or better yet. At the very start. When you didn’t believe him when he told you those villagers hurt him. How your first instinct when you saw him after your mother died was to attack him.”

Dream flinches again.

“Dust enough!”

Dust blinks and looks over. Cross stands behind him and pulls on his arm. “Enough.”

Nightmare doesn’t get it. Why-

Oh…

He is shaking… and crying.

Dust sees it and slowly walks closer and rubs his cheek “sshh… shh… it is okay… none of that will ever happen again… we won’t let it.” Nightmare holds an arm out to Dust and Killer easily hands him over to Dust. Nightmare relaxes a bit. It is familiar and safe.

Killer sounds very calm as he speaks “You lost any right to take care of him or watch over him long ago Dream. The things you fixed? That were things that needed fixing. That was your job to fix as you ruined them to begin with. But just because you fixed your own mistakes doesn’t mean that we or Nightmare have to trust you.”

Dream looks to the side and Blue rubs his arm as he speaks “Dream just missed him. I know I know very rich coming from him but… even if it isn’t possible for Dream to take care of him and I get it. You guys have been through a lot.”

Dream looks ready to go against it but Blue just shakes his skull at him “You need time to actually process all of this as well Dream.” Blue turns back to them “But… wouldn’t it be nice for both of them to at least get the chance to see each other? To talk? To maybe slowly start to mend their broken bond?”

This time Nightmare can see all his dads exchange looks.

Blue smiles “Just… please just think about it… I know you wouldn’t do it or agree to it for Dream… But maybe it is nice for Nightmare? To give him the ability and chance to get this bond back?” Blue looks hesitant but keeps talking “I know a lot happened. And that will leave scars… But isn’t it better to at least be able to mend that bond a little? To at least feel safe near each other?”

Nightmare frowns as he pushes close to Dust. Dust nuzzles him.

Blue nods “It is a lot… and I get you need space…” he shoots Dream a look “You both need space. Time to think and consider. Which we will give.”

Dream looks up pained “Blue no! I searched for so long and-”

Blue smiles sadly at Dream “Dream I know. I know this hurts… And I know you want this so badly and you missed him. But you need to let him make his choice. You know he is safe. You know he is healthy.” And he looks at him “Isn’t that enough for now? Wasn’t that the whole goal?”

Dream looks lost before shooting him another look “Yeah… yeah it was… I am sorry… I just…”

Blue laughs and nudges their shoulders together “It is a lot. Your mind is going a mile per second and you are terrified of messing up again so you are trying to fix things right away. Take a moment Dream.” And Blue grins at them “We really are happy you guys are okay. Especially after everything came to light.”

Killer looks very mistrusting at them but gives a slow nod “Take a moment to process this.” He shoots them a look and Nightmare can see Killer stare at him for a moment. Then Killer sighs as he rubs his skull “Fucking hell.”

“Language.”

Most surprising. That came from five sources. Nightmare looks over and sees both Dream and Blue look disapproving at Killer.

Killer looks so unimpressed at them “Seriously?”

Blue shrugs “He is six… at least now…”

Killer sighs but nods “Anyway! We are going home… Take a moment to pull yourselves together and also don’t try to find where we live anymore. It is creepy… Also you don’t want to deal with the backstory we made up for us there.”

Blue looks curious “What is the backstory?”

Dust answers very unamused “Killer made it up. Nightmare is mine biologically and there was a bad ex.”

Horror looks highly amused “Which… you two caused quite the stir because well… There is no denying Dream and Nightmare look alike and red plus blue equals purple.” And he waits.

Blue and Dream look shocked.

Dust looks so done with everything “You still own me Killer.”

Killer grins and winks “Anything you want dear. Tonight fitting your schedule?”

Cross coughs “Anyway! We are going...”

Blue looks highly embarrassed “Thanks for the warning…”

Killer snorts “Not like it matters anymore. Error should be done with relocating the universe by now.”

Dream shoots upright “Error is doing what?!”

Killer grins and nods “Hiding us again to keep rude visitors out! Talking about Error. Hey dude ready to pull us out?”

A window in the sky opens and Error looks out unamused “Only emergency. Do it yourself.”

Dream however glares at Error “You knew?! You knew the whole time where he was?! That he was okay?!”

Error raises a brow at Dream “Obviously.”

Nightmare however is more focussed on Error “Error!” and he waves.

Error blinks and snorts but waves back “Nightmare.”

Nightmare beams.

Blue gasps “Oh that is adorable.” Dream however glares very angerly at Error.

Cross at this point cuts the universe fabric “Okay we are going. All through.” Dust goes first.

They appear back in their home and Nightmare pouts at Cross “Why did we leave? Error was there.”

Cross looks amused “Because you are still grounded so no hanging out with Error until the being grounded is done.”

Nightmare pouts but a yawn breaks through. Dust hums and nuzzles his skull “Nap time?”

Nightmare nods as he pushes closer to Dust. This is nice.

*----------------------*

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[lumifer1214]

Hi pgr tumblr

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

[honeylemonbutte]

I needed to draw young Joshua Wei & Jane Corvin (absolute need). I think from the time they were elementary school kids to age 15, they just constantly nerded out at each other.

They are assigning pokemon teams to the justice league! 😭😭😭

Joshua & J. Corvin from The Fernweh Saga (@lacunafiction)

[zorosdimples]

knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it

[fairybasketsxo]

you know how it is w/ gummies

[deadqueernoldor]

Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.

I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.

And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.

If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.

I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.

[jen-with-a-pen]

pre-op appointment for laparoscopy is this afternoon. anxious but not afraid anymore. just hoping we can do it somewhat soon so I can stop feeling like wolverine is using my abdomen and pelvis as a goddamn punching bag (and not in the good way)

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

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[ieatwormsandtheytasteverygood]

Guess which bitch now has room on its phone for instagram for the first time in like 3 years. This is only good bc now we can post art there again.

Not that instagram is nice to artists or anything. Just that our art tumblr is so very tiny and unused. Gonna probably have to clear it out somewhat when I finally get around to posting art.

[wild-at-mind]

I feel like tags like these were inevitable on the post about people traumatising themselves for the greater good or w/e... There is SO much emphasis on posting on tumblr and other social media being so important and so useful and we must never stop. But I would like to counterargue with the idea that posting on social media (especially tumblr) constantly does very little/nothing. If that was true then the point here becomes meaningless.