#harvey two face is my favorite thing ever

[frownyalfred]

I will never shut up about how the Harvey Dent Suite from The Dark Knight soundtrack perfectly embodies his desire to be Gotham's hero, only to fall into darkness while still trying to hold onto that same hope.

The suite -- portions of which below are called "Harvey Two Face" but are longer in sheet music form -- has multiple sections where there's two melodies and countless interplays between light and dark motifs/etc. The beginning of the suite being such a beautiful, soaring melody -- Harvey's hope for Gotham -- and while it returns near the end, it is so much more delicate than his original "hope," and finds itself undermined by the final resolution of the suite being a final, wavering minor chord.

The second part speeds up as Harvey's ideals and soaring hope fight against the darkness and madness of Gotham. His major key soaring "hope" theme slips into minor key, deepening and darkening it. He still wants to fight for Gotham, despite what it throws at him. But his "hope" slowly loses out to the increasing drums, and the "doubt" of the french horn that takes over. His hope becomes an echo or almost a competing melody to the new "doubt."

But Harvey's hope doesn't fall completely. It softens into a delicate, minor key version of his theme. More "doubt" creeps in, slowing down and lingering. His "hope" theme tries to make a valiant return, but it is far quieter and weaker, and slips into minor key again and again.

Still, it finds the strength to surge back up again in the final part, building on itself beautifully. The "hope" theme crests to a defiant, more delicate reprise of its original appearance -- Harvey's hope, still trying to prevail.

Despite this, the "doubt" motif returns on the french horn. And the valiant note of his returned hope trembles into a wavering, minor key resolution. Harvey's hope disappears into the doubt, and the piece ends with that lingering in your mind.

(interestingly, in The Dark Knight, they only use Harvey's soaring, hopeful theme, and even more interestingly, only briefly while he's on screen. This piece's complexity therefore goes under the radar of a lot of TDK fans. It's also very fun to play on the piano because the competing melodies/motifs lead to some complicated trade offs between each hand)

[luvvyouforever]

harvey (sdv) - nsfw alphabet <3

-> there is not nearly enough harvey content on tumblr for my liking. SO two harvey posts in a row, yes i do believe. and i do love reading an sfw/nsfw alphabet so of course i have to provide for our favorite nerdy doctor <3 i also want you to know that as i write this, i imagine harvey as a taller, bigger man. so like he's got some chub on him and he's got broad shoulders. idk idk it's my headcanon.

-> this is nsfw and dirty! like i really tried to get over my reservations about using descriptive language. with that being said, NSFW 18+ MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

harvey is the sweetest, most gentlemanly partner after sex. he makes sure that you get cleaned up, that you protect yourself against any UTIs or other gross things, makes you some coffee or tea, and cuddles with you endlessly. harvey would need some extra reassurance that what he did was good, that you enjoyed it, or that you didn't get hurt. he'd get anxious and worry about it for the rest of the night if you didn't offer him some kind of honest discussion.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i think he appreciates his arms and hands! he knows that he has some strength and likes when you can grip on to his biceps in the heat of the moment. knows how to work his hands i mean, come on. he can do minor surgical interventions. if you hold onto his arm while you're walking in town, he'd get all blushy.

as for you, he truthfully loves every part of you. if you ever asked him "what part of me is your favorite?" he would actually stress over it and couldn't answer. however, if you really really wanted him to say, he would choose your eyes. there's nothing better to him than looking at them when he's giving you pleasure. sends him reeling, actually.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i don't think harvey is particularly keen on making a mess, especially of the bed or another surface. he'd try to keep his cum inside of you, or at least contained to an easily wipeable surface (like your face). on the down low though, i truthfully think he'd surprisingly enjoy cumming on your face, mainly around your lips. messy oral? he's done for.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

meeting dr. harvey in his office for a confidential check-up? hmm. definitely not when you first start dating, but give him some time and you may just find yourself on his desk (never in the actual, sterile field) receiving a little extra attention wink wink nudge nudge

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he has plenty of knowledge about anatomy, trust me. he never struggles with finding your best spots. however, he struggles with foreplay and building intimacy and dirty talk, etc. he's a nerd! what can i say? tell him what you like, guide him, and help him and he'd be confident in no time. he's a quick learner.

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

so, i think there are two sides to harvey. he is either incredible slow, passionate, and earnest. this lends itself to something simple like missionary where he can stare into your eyes, kiss you, tell you sweet things, etc. his other side comes out later, when he's gotten more comfortable with you and with himself, and he can get a little rougher or faster or intense. he likes to be able to grip on to you so something like doggy, maybe riding?

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

harvey can't help but be clumsy sometimes. he learns to be able to giggle at himself when his hand misses the bed and he falls. he also can't help but giggle when hair gets caught in your mouth or some other silly thing. however, he likes to keep things intimate and prefers to have a serious moment with you in bed.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i don't think he fully shaves, he just doesn't strike me as that kinda guy with his mustache. but i do think he trims it, kinda manscapes it a little bit to tame everything down but he likes to have a little hair down there.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

loves making sex romantic. he doesn't do it often, but on special days like your anniversary or birthday, he will harvest some flowers from the farm and throw the petals around the room, open up some freshly made wine, and showers you in affection. as for every day sex, he still likes to make it special for you and never backs down on his pure, teeth-hurting sweetness.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i think that he is the kinda guy that starts feeling guilty for masturbating after he gets into a relationship. prefers to just wait for you. however, before your relationship, he would masturbate every once in a while when he was stressed or horny. if he ever watched porn, which i feel like would be very rare for him, he wouldn't watch highly produced, fake porn. it would have to be something amateur. (harvey has a secret twitter account)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

okay so...i think harvey starts out vanilla. when you're getting to know him and for the first few times you have sex, he keeps it simple. mainly out of nervousness. however, i think he's kinkier than we might assume. i think he really enjoys being praised and praising you. i think, too, he likes feeling big and strong in that he gives in to his possessiveness sometimes, and he likes being able to manhandle you a little bit. also, i propose this everyone....bondage? nothing super strong! just with his tie or belt. and your hands. to the headboard.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

your bedroom, mostly! he has a reputation that he needs to uphold so anything in public is nerve wracking. but with some convincing, like i said, his fancy office is not totally off limits.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

seeing you do anything! especially if you're really determined to get something done and you're working hard at it! like, you've been working so damn hard on renovating and cleaning the farm and you come back proud of everything you've done, he will look at you with a glow in his face. kisses on the neck, too!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i don't think he'd ever hurt you. it's just not something he could ever see himself doing. he doesn't mind seeing like fingertip marks on you the day after but anything like choking, spanking, etc is out of the question. he also would find rudeness a turn off in a person. like he would hate to see anyone be rude to another person and it would take away from someone's attractiveness immediately! (that's not to say that he doesn't enjoy some town gossip here and there)

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

my first headcanon here is that harvey LOVES giving oral and on the days when he hasn't cleanly shaved his face, his stubble leaves marks around your thighs. okay, now that that's out of the way: harvey is such a pleaser and he'd do anything to make sure you feel good. he likes when you guide his head, mouth, or hands and he likes being told if you want more, or faster, or less. as for him receiving, i think he enjoys it but he gets so in his head that he can't really cum from it. it takes some extra praise and reassurance to get him to fully open up.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

like every other answer here, it depends on his mood! he can get really fast when he's feeling extra needy or kinky. however, when he's trying to be romantic, he will take his sweet time and go nice and slow with his thrusts, movements, touches. however, i think he could also use slowness to his advantage and tease you.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

prefers to take his time but sometimes he likes to catch you before you wake up and start working on the farm and before he has to go to work. he enjoys these more than he will admit to himself though and he thinks it can be fun!!

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's down to try new things, don't get me wrong! if you wanna try something new, he'll let you to an extent but he won't do anything that comes with a dangerous outcome or health risk! like, sure, he might be down to try some new rope positions but he won't dare put chocolate sauce around his genitals. do you know the bacteria risks that can come with that??

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i don't think he has very high stamina. it's not that he gets really sleepy after, but he can't go for multiple rounds. maybe two if it's been a long time since he's seen you. he can last a while though, i think. he won't cum the minute he engages in anything and with his anxiety, it may even take him a while to get to that point.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesn't mind bringing out a vibrator because he knows how good it could make you feel. he doesn't like them on himself though! he doesn't mind taking a trip out to zuzu and hitting up a sex shop to buy some new bondage-y toys. they will be thoroughly cleaned though. why would nipple clamps be any less clean than forceps?

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

he doesn't do it with malice in his heart, trust me. he just likes seeing you on edge, waiting for him of all people, begging for more pleasure. he experiments to see how long you can go for, or how far he can drag out oral. he definitely enjoys it more than he'd let on. oh, and, i leave you with this, imagine harvey offering fake pity and cooing at you:

"my poor flower...you must want it so bad!"

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

keeps quiet, mostly. some interjections of grunts and groans, especially when he cums. he uses his voice more for sweet talk! he loves hearing your noises, though, and it gives him more encouragement than anything.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

the first time you called him dr. harvey in a joking, yet somewhat flirtatious manner, he blushed and got incredibly flustered. then, you did it again, and it had the same effect. and then...oh lord. your hands were roaming his body and you, just testing the waters, called him dr. harvey and he could have finished right there.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's big guys, i'm sorry. nerdy white men are always packing. i headcanon him as a big boy and it's only fitting that he's proportionate. more thickness than length. he was a little ashamed the first time you had sex but he realized just how good it feels and it makes him proud. big dick energy if you will.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think he has a fluctuating sex drive. during flu and cold season, he is so stressed and likes to come back and make dinner, cuddle, and go to bed. however, during the summer, when everyone is healthy and only needs some aloe vera gel for sunburns, he could go day after day with you. it just all depends on his mood and the time of the year.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he enjoys cuddling and talking after sex but give him an hour and the man is CONKED. he's the older bachelor so of course he's a sleepy man. cuddle up to his chest, open up the window to let fresh air or the sounds of rain float in, and he'll be like a baby.

[junicult]

contains ; suggestive conversation (pillow talk typa stuff). sappy sappy cheesy & corny fluff! just the way i like it! established relationship — dating. two ppl in love blah blah blah. gender non specified reader. he is all i ever think about.

note ; hello! didn’t wanna look at this in my drafts anymore. boo!

“what’s the wildest thing you’ve done in bed?” you ask, smiling over the rim of your near-empty glass of wine.

your lips are well past stained at this point, dazed eyes holding a curiously eager gaze with the man sitting similarly before you.

“the wildest thing?” harvey repeats, eyebrows raised, looking around as if to search for his answer.

“yeah, like, the craziest thing you’ve done while having sex.”

you’ve been playing this little question game for hours now, concept of time nothing but a distant thought after you both downed even more glasses of wine a single bottle could fill. it’s been a while since you’ve been able to relax like this, which is well in agreeance with your boyfriend.

you’re quite tipsy at this point. facing him on your living room couch, legs crossed and arm propping your head that’s perched against the back of the couch.

he purses his lips, shaking his head in deep thought. “i dunno…i guess um,” he presses a knuckle to the upper rim of his glasses, adjusting them, “i guess the kitchen—having sex in the kitchen, probably.”

you furrow your brows, giving him a long look. “in the kitchen?” it’s your turn to repeat, this time confused.

he shrugs and nods.

“with me?” you ask, more clarification than uncertainty in your tone.

“of course with you.”

“no, i’m speaking in general, like out of everyone you’ve ever had sex with—what was the craziest thing you did?”

“i know the question. i said have sex in the kitchen.”

you stare, unwavering eye contact glued to his. you know him, you know he’s definitely telling the truth, yet somehow you were shocked. “that was your craziest sexual experience?”

“i take it wasn’t yours, huh?” he snorts, giving the contents in his glass one small swirl before he leans over and places it on the coffee table.

you laugh airily, “i mean i…told you about the ferris wheel—“

“—ah,” he cuts you off, shivering, “yes, not my thing.”

“so let me get this straight,” you mimic his previous gesture—placing the glass on the table—, using both of your now-free hands to hold out in front of you. “your craziest, absolutely wildest sexual experience was on that kitchen table?”

he flicks his gaze past your head to where you’re pointing your thumb behind you. he suppresses a quirked up lip from the recollection.

“well, i didn’t say it was absolutely wild. but if i had to pick, that would be my answer.” he murmurs, and despite the topic, he’s managing his typical flushed cheeks and nervous lip-nibble well.

“wow,” you lean back with a light laugh. “i’m honored.”

“i’m glad.” he smiles.

he reaches back for the last sip of his wine, taking a short whiff of the glass before savoring the last drop. maybe he’s biased, but your wine will always be his favorite. he never allows it to go to waste.

it’s late. his eyelids rest heavily over his pupils, contrasting your wide-awake gaze. you’re eager to move around, emphasizing most of your words with hand gestures while he’s remained put for the last couple hours. despite his tiredness, he soaks every minute he has with you just as he does with your wine.

you clear your throat. “okay, so now i have a new question.”

“alright.” he nods, leaning into his hand.

“what was the best sex you’ve ever had? it’s okay if it wasn’t with me.”

he exhales from his nose at that, smile to accompany his cheeks.

“well, it was,” he confirms, once again looking off to the side. although, he doesn’t pause long, seemingly prepared with his answer. “i would say, after you told me you loved me.”

you beam immediately. “i knew it. you’re such a sentimentalist.” you tease, reaching over to pinch his thigh. but you soften, laying your hand flat and gently soothing your thumb over his pants. “that’s mine too.”

“really? even more than the ferris wheel?”

you scoff. “oh, absolutely. a million times better.” you wave a hand dismissively, and he tries not to let the comment go to his head. “that was purely just to say i’ve done it. at least you can make me finish.”

of course his cheeks set aflame, due to the ego boost and vulgarity. you smile as he purses his lips after murmuring an awkward thank you. it’s always so amusing to make him flustered, given such an easy task.

you sigh, rolling your head back against the couch. your fingers lightly tap at your t-shirt clad stomach, eyes wandering each crease and ridge in your ceiling during a moment of peaceful silence you’ll always relax into when you’re with harvey.

it’s only then do your eyes feel heavy, and it finally dawns on you just what time it is, and how early you have to wake up tomorrow.

“it’s late,” you conquer, staying put, “do you wanna stay—“

“i’ve got a question.” he hums. you turn your head, remaining relaxed against the cushions, to find him looking off towards the dimming fireplace in front of you.

“yeah?”

“who was the…if you had to rank everyone, uhm,” he presses his knuckles into the cushion beside his thighs, readjusting himself but not without a clear of his throat. “who’s the best sex you’ve ever had?”

you allow a smile to creep onto your face. it seems purposeful he’s avoiding your eyes, the golden hue of the crackling fire causing his warm skin to glow. his lips look a little pinker due to the light—or maybe the wine—and from your angle you can see his dark brown eyelashes clearly from the space between his glasses.

you let out a faux sigh, almost taunting.

“hm, that’s a toughie.” you snicker, now readjusting to sit sideways on the cushion with one leg crossed and the other dangling over the couch. “out of the whopping four?”

he gives you a peek, subconsciously wiping his palms across his pants wordlessly.

you almost want to tease him a little longer—the shy purse of his lips making it just so easy. yet you give up quick, leaning in to snake your arm around his neck and press a hand to his cheek.

“without a doubt, it’s you. don’t even have to think about it.” you giggle, pressing a soft kiss to his warm lips.

“really?” there he goes, yet again doubting himself.

“harvey, i’ve never been in love like i am with you. i’ve never been with someone and started picturing marriage after the second date.” you croon, so close you can nearly press your forehead against his. you look down at his lips. “it’s not just because of the sex—but believe me, that plays a good part. no one has known how to love me like you can.”

he swallows, mimicking your gaze and fixates on your lips as you continue, “you make me feel so comfortable, and so appreciated. you’re so sweet, and caring, and reliable. i can tell you anything.”

his fingers are warm from the fire, and he delicately uses them to push pieces of your hair that have fallen in front of your face, blocking his view of you.

just as you’re about to go on, he stops you. both of his hands finding purchase at the crevice of your neck, while his lips meet yours. not just a peck, a deep and meaningful kiss that forms all of your praises into the action. the same kind of kiss that takes your breath away, even before it started when you quietly gasp as he tugged you close. he ignores the way his nose bumps into yours, instead tilting his head to the side once you melt into him, pressing a flat hand against his chest for balance.

it’s deep and needy. the wine somehow tastes even better off your lips, his tongue selfishly stealing some of the sweetness. in some ways you think you could genuinely go stupid just from the way he kisses you.

he takes a moment to pull away, the exact way that has him sucking all of the air out of your lungs and leaves you chasing the feeling and making your brain grow fuzzy.

letting you go, he licks his lips and drops his quick gaze down to yours before looking back in your lidded eyes. he’s so impossibly skilled at taking your breath away, literally and figuratively.

“like a starved man,” you tease, masking your faint whimper with a chuckle.

“i know,” he swallows. “i love you.”

“i love you more.”

he shakes his head, padded thumb softly pressing against your bottom lip where his gaze sits.

“not possible.”

[artists-ally]

{Flatline} OFC x Harvey Specter {Pt. 3)

Uh ohhhh guys it’s Pt. 3 🤭🤭🤭 I am so excited for this. It’s honestly one of my favorite things I’ve written and I hope you all agree. There is a poll at the end so make sure to vote for that <3 enjooyyyyy p.s. I hope this does good justice for this series.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Character Playlist

Word Count: 12,795

Warnings: language, angst, anxious thoughts, one singular mention of sexual h*r*ssm*nt in regards to Harvey’s actions with Claudia, smut 18+, the tiniest bit of food play, dom/sub dynamics, praise kink go brrr

***Italic sections indicate flashbacks***

Summary: The aftermath of Harvey breaking his promise to Claudia.

Tagging: @rosedpetal @maxdamax @ashcosmo

~~~~~~

HARVEY'S POV

My legs were numb. That sort of numbness when something happens that you can’t explain. It felt like my life just flashed before my eyes. That image of Claudia’s shaking lip… hearing her broken voice… I don’t think I’ll ever get it out of my fucking head. 

“Harvey, I requested those trades be made an hour ago. Do you wanna tell me why… Harvey?”

I could see Jessica in front of me, but I couldn’t hear a damn thing she said. 

“Harvey, what’s going on?” She closed the door, and I put a hand out to steady myself so I wouldn’t fall on the floor. “What happened?” “I fucked up,” I whispered. 

“Yeah, no shit. You tanked our only opportunity to get a leg up on this Gustoson case. You’re damn right you fucked up-”

“No no,” I sat on the arm of the chair. My hands began to shake so I folded them together. Jessica saw. 

“What the hell did you do?”

“I yelled at Claudia…”

She just blinked at me. “Is that seriously what you’re concerned about? Yelling at an associate? Okay, you yelled at an associate, what’s new? That might as well be in your job description.”

“No no no I didn’t just yell at her I threatened to do the one thing that I promised I would never do and now she’s gone. She left. I can’t- I don’t- I never meant to hurt her but she suggested that we file a motion to dismiss and I got so caught up in my anger about her accusing me of using her that I lost my-”

“Using her? Harvey, what is going on?” “I’ll tell you what’s going on,” Donna barged in. 

“Donna please don’t-”

“Harvey and Claudia have been ‘working together’ for the last month and a half, when in reality he has been a selfish, lying, arrogant brat who has crossed so many lines it’s beginning to look like a Rorschach Test.”

“You know?” I felt my heart suffocate myself. I thought I was gonna throw up.

“In all honesty Harvey, no I didn’t. Not until Claudia just broke down in the elevator and told me everything. I cannot believe that you would use her like that. For your own personal satisfaction are you out of your fucking mind?” “Harvey, what the hell is she talking about?” Jessica’s voice was full of hostility. 

“He thought that it would be a good idea to boost Claudia’s confidence by getting into her pants.”

“Donna it wasn’t-”

Jessica scoffed, covering her face. “What the hell is wrong with you? This has got sexual harassment written all over it, Havrey. Could you really be that delusional?”

“For fucks sake it wasn’t like that!” I screamed. Genuinely screamed and paced around. “I didn’t use her, not intentionally. God dammit I haven't been able to think clearly since the first day that I saw Claudia. She is an incredible lawyer and all I wanted to do was give her something else to focus on because she was afraid to be in a room with me. I just- all I wanted to do was help her find a little bit of confidence and oh my god this sounds so much worse when I say it outloud.”

Donna and Jessica exchanged a look while I slowly felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and stomped on the floor with cleats. 

“Okay Harvey, sit down and tell us what happened,” Donna steered me away from putting a hole in the wall to my desk.

“I don’t even know, Donna.” “Well while you two enjoy going down memory lane, I’ll be fighting for our firm's life. If you two don’t get your shit together, and by you two I mean Harvey, then… I don’t even know then.”

She all but slammed the door on her way out, patrons on the other side sending worried glances our way. I turned my chair so they wouldn’t see me. 

“How long has this been going on?” Donna asked. 

I dug my nails into my skin. “Almost two months.”

“Two months? Harvey, how could you not tell me?” “Because I didn’t want to,” I admitted. “And partly because I kind of thought you already knew. You know, the whole ‘Donna superpower’ shit you do.”

“I know I can’t believe I missed it,” she took the chair in front of me. I glared at her so hard I thought I’d light that hair of hers on fire. “Okay bad time for a joke. So, bachelor, why don’t you start from the beginning. And please, I don’t need to know the dirty details, despite my curiosity. Claudia is like a little sister to me and I really don’t want to picture you and her and oh my god I already am. Ugh, please start talking so I don’t have to be tortured.”

So dramatic. I was good looking, and so was Claudia. Why wouldn’t anyone want to picture us together? Then my eyes snapped to the chair she was sitting on. Oh god. Donna was in the chair that I was the first time Claudia and I-

“Get up,” I blurted out, reaching for her and placing her in my desk chair. God dammit we used that one too. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

We sat down on the couch and I rubbed my strained eyes. Here goes nothing. 

“When Sheila first sent over the recruits from Harvard, I interviewed all of them. Except for one. There were thirteen associates but I only had twelve meetings set up. So I asked Louis if he was interviewing any of the newbies and he said just one. Obviously this person was some sort of idiot to be going to Louis instead of me, so I popped in.”

“Well, Claudia I think that you have some unbelievable potential at this firm and I’d just like to- Harvey, what are you doing here I am in the middle of an interview.”

“Oh I know, I just wanted to drop by and see how it was going.”

In front of Louis was this warm, chestnut brown head of sleek, silk like hair. She was wearing a lavender blouse and a black maxi skirt with a slit to the knee. She had on these black flats with pearls on them. Summer had just ended, and there was some remaining sunburn on her nose and cheeks. Her eyes were surrounded by prominent lashes and eyebrows, a fine line of makeup between the two; lavender, to match the top. 

“It’s going great, now will you get the hell out and tend to your own interviews and stop barging in on my only one?”

“Harvey Specter,” I introduced, sticking out my hand. She looked from it over to Louis, who was just shooting me daggers. 

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?”“Louis, I’m not trying to woo your associate, I’m just introducing myself to her. We are kind of name partners, you know. It’s the courteous thing to do.”

Again, all she did was look at my hand before slowly standing up. I didn’t miss the way she tried to subtly wipe her hand on her skirt. 

“I’m Claudia. Claudia Martin.”

God dammit that was a pretty name. It sounded so sophisticated, so mature and would sound really nice next to mine. Or with mine. Harvey Specter and Claudia Martin. I don’t know why I thought of hearing or seeing ‘Claudia Specter’ one day, but I did. And I didn’t hate the way it sounded. 

“Welcome to Pearson Specter Litt,” I gave a nice smile. It was clear she was already intimidated to be here, I didn’t need to add to that fire. She barely looked me in the eye for two seconds, but those two seconds made my head spin. 

She had the most gorgeous eyes I think I’ve ever seen in my life. They were amber in the middle but had this ring of hazel around the outer rim. It was just… not something I’ve ever seen before. I didn’t want her to look away because I just wanted to keep looking at them.

And that blush… that I knew wasn’t her sunburn. Not the way it creeped up the side of her face, or at the base of her neck. 

Jesus Harvey, stop staring at her. You’re probably giving off major stalker vibes.

“Well I’ll be around if you need anything, Claudia. Don’t be shy,” I smiled, the best charming one I could. Her full lips were in a tight line, her fingers picking at each other before she sat back down with Louis.

“Okay so you sabotaged Louis’ meeting with Claudia and thought she was beautiful? Why didn’t you just say that?” Donna interrupted. 

“Didn’t you ask me to start from the beginning?” She snapped her lips closed. “So let me tell the goddamn story. Yes, I thought she was stunning. I mean, no one in their right mind would think otherwise. She is so pretty and so smart and twice the person I wish I could be. There is just something about her that I can’t shake from my memory.”

“Yeah we get it, you’re head over heels for Claudia. Now on with it I don’t have all day.”

I rolled my eyes. 

“That was the first time I met her. It wasn’t long after that she started working here when I talked to her again. She was just sitting at her desk, Griffin and whoever else crowded around the opposite end of the bullpen. She was excluded and it made me feel bad.”

I’ve always thought Griffin would be at the top of my list for top associates. He was like me; only shorter, not as good looking, and had blue eyes instead of brown. Did I mention he wasn’t as good looking? Anyway, I had only one intention: get Claudia alone so I could talk to her.

Every day since she started a few weeks ago, I have watched her get off the elevator, walk through the office, and disappear around the corner. It wasn’t fair that she got to look like that, walk like that, and no one was around to appreciate it. 

She was so fucking eye catching. And I didn’t want the other slobs at this firm to get to her before I could.

“Claudia, do you mind helping me with something for a few minutes?” I asked, voice just loud enough for Griffin to hear. 

She looked up, pen cap between her rosy lips, and blinked. That flush creeped onto her cheeks. I tried not to smile. 

“Sure,” she nodded once and stood up, following me out. 

I was not so subtle with the look that I gave Griffin, and he wasn’t so subtle with the way he spoke.

“Is there something you need, Harvey? Claudia is in the middle of a very important depo documentation. I’d hate for her to fall behind.”

What a dick. “No, Griffin. It seems like you’ve got more important things to do with your book club than working on whatever Louis assigned you, so Claudia will work just fine. I prefer an actually hard working associate to someone who’s discussing whatever mediocre steak dinner you had at Texas Roadhouse last Wednesday.”

“Griffin’s eyes simmered and shot daggers into Claudia. But he didn’t open his mouth. I thought about punching him in the face for looking at her like that, and that’s when I realized I was fucked. That I was willing to do that for Claudia when it was literally the second time I’ve ever talked to her.”

“I’ll say,” Donna huffed. “What happened next?” “I just had her deliver some letters for me to the courthouse. I asked her something about Griffin, if they were ever acquainted with each other.”

“And what did she say?”

“She told me that Griffin was a total douchebag and tried to use his social status to get a leg up on her in class discussions, cutting corners to discredit her. It was so unfair and I just-”

Donna put a hand on my knee. “Relax, Harvey. Griffin isn’t here, stop looking like you want to put him through a wall.” “Well, Donna, I do want to put him through a wall because he has been an asshole to Claudia for no other reason than she was good at her job. It makes me sick.”

“When did you start becoming so protective of her? I’ve never seen you like this with anyone other than Mike, Louis, Jessica and myself. You must… really really care about her.”

“I think it was during the mock trial. She was always off to the side, always attentive, but never spoke up. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over at her every once and a while to see if she wanted to be included. But she never did.”

“This case may seem simple, but the husband is a grade A asshole. He has done everything to cover his tracks and is gonna come at us with everything he’s got. Find me some evidence and make it good.”

They all branched off, heading this way and that. Claudia went to the only logical place, right to me.

“Hi, Mr. Specter-sir. I just have one question about-about the case if you’ve got a minute. If you have somewhere to be I understand and I can ask later,” she said quickly.

“Of course, what do you want to know?” I couldn’t help but think her stuttering was cute. I knew she was nervous, specifically around me; she always seemed so tense with me, so I made sure to always speak quietly and calmly with her. 

“Was Mr. Saros the one who paid off that investment banker? Did the money come from his account directly or a different one?”

God she was so good. “It came from him and his wife’s joint account.”

Claudia had a slight grin to her lips, and she nodded before striding away. She was going to crack this wide open. I just knew it. 

I went back to my office to wait it out, to see if any one could come up with an idea before Claudia. Before I knew it, it was three o'clock and I had a meeting to go to for another case Mike and I were working on. When we got in the car, Mike was looking at me with a knowing smile. 

“What?” 

He shook his head, “Nothing, just wondering how long you’re going to pretend you’re not in love with Claudia Martin.”

“The first year associate?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know who she is. I see you watch her like a starving animal every time she comes into the office. And every time she leaves. And every time she asks Donna something.”

Uh oh.

“Oh please, I have far better things to do than get involved with a first year.”

“You didn’t deny that you were in love with her.”

“Do you want to get smacked? Or I could kick you out of this car at sixty miles per hour, see how you like the taste of asphalt.” Mike did not know when to stop pushing my buttons. 

“I think you just proved my theory.”

“What theory?”

“That you are in love and you are incredibly protective of Claudia. I heard about what you said to Griffin when he offered his help because Claudia was ‘too busy’. You know he pawned that work off to her, right?”

My eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched, as well as my fists. I fixed my gaze out the window and took some deep breaths. Jesus… he had a point. A huge point. God dammit I’m in trouble.

“Mike knew before I did?” Donna sounded mildly offended. 

“Well, not really. I never told him what we were doing. But I did tell him that I liked her. And when he told me that Griffin was pawning off his work to Caudia it sent me into a spiral. Shit, Donna… I am in so deep with Claudia. I really fucked up. I mean really bad. I made a promise to her that I wouldn’t treat her like the other associates because she wasn’t like the other associates. She was Claudia. And Claudia was- is- so much better than the rest of them.” “Why would you make a promise like that if you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep it?” “I had every intention of keeping it, but then all the shit with started happening when Louis found out about Mike being a fraud and he took that fucking case with Gerard and I couldn’t hold it together.” “Why did you even make it in the first place?” Donna asked, but I really didn’t want to tell this story.

I sighed, the type of sigh that fills your whole body.

“I was going off on Griffin one day, for being an asshole to some of the other associates, about pawning off his work to Claudia and she saw.”

“Griffin, I don’t care whose idea it was. You were the one to destroy his work, so you’re going to face the consequences.”

“It was just a prank, the entire document wasn’t supposed to be deleted.”

“You think tampering with another associate’s work is a prank? I hope when you go home tonight you think long and hard about who you wanna be as a man because as of right now, there isn’t going to be anything for you to come back to tomorrow. And you better pray to whatever you believe in because if there’s one person you don’t want to make an enemy out of, it’s me. Do you understand that?”

He clenched his jax, shoving his hands in his pockets. “yes.”

“You are going to be Louis’ personal associate.”“No, no way you can make me work for that man. He’s a total airhead.”“Yes, he is, now you two have something to talk about. You can bond over your selfish, outrageous egotistical behavior, it’ll be just like looking in a mirror.”

“Harvey I’m-”

“I don’t care what you are Griffin. You have no right to treat the other associates like that, especially Claudia. If I ever catch wind of you throwing your work load on her again so help me God I will make sure it is the last thing you do at this firm.”

If my point wasn’t clear enough by my words, the look I gave him would certainly do. He left my office without another word and I followed his movements all the way. But my eyes met Claudia’s. And they were wide and panicked. She quickly scurried away, head down and steps fast. She looked so afraid. 

She wasn’t afraid of me was she? I mean, all I had done was rip Griffin a new one for being an asshole. And he deserved it, Claudia would never do something to deserve that kind of lashing. 

“And so I promised her. I fucking promised her that I would never flip out on her and then I went and did exactly. God Donna… I am so fucked up.”

Her slim hand rubbed up and down my shoulder, but I only wanted it to be Claudia’s. I wanted her right next to me so I could go through all of this with her and explain that it wasn’t just some fling. Not to me. Never to me. I never wanted it to be temporary, she was… she’s it for me. 

The familiar prick crept into my eyes, my nose, and the tears fell. Donna has only seen me cry a handful of times, but never over a girl.

But Claudia wasn’t just some girl. She wasn’t just some hookup or some prize to be won. She was Claudia Martin. My Claudia. The quiet, shy first year associate I had worked so hard to get out of her shell. It wasn’t just for my pleasure, I truly didn’t want to see her fall behind just because she couldn’t ask me a question.

I saw that look in her eye; hunger and determination. Just like mine. I wanted it to shine brighter than her smile. Which was equally as devastating as her work in the courtroom. But I just wanted her to feel comfortable around me and I didn’t know what else to do. She was like a frightened baby deer around me. A constant nervous wreck at the drop of my name. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me, I wanted nothing more than to be a safe space for her. 

And maybe it’s just because I’m an idiot, but I’m realizing now that maybe I’m the one who needed the safe place. To just have someone to go to all the time. To share all of my proud moments and sneak little kisses and touches here and there. 

I need Claudia. I need her.

Maybe I took it too far. Started at the wrong place. I should’ve offered to take her out to dinner instead of inviting her up for a drink in my office after her first case. I shouldn’t have done it so backwards, and it kills me that I’m only drawing that connection now. Why couldn’t I have thought of that earlier? She would’ve been so much better off without all the backwards, fucked up shit that I did.

But it was so nice. To finally have the one thing I have been craving for so long. She was so soft, and she was so sweet under my touch and I couldn’t help myself. As soon as I first kissed her it was end game. I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. I wouldn’t ever kiss anyone again, not the way I kissed Claudia. More than lust. More than just a desire. 

Her lips on mine made my head go blank. I had an awful habit of having work thoughts creep their way into my head every once in a while. But never with her. Even when we were only talking about work, I couldn’t think about it. I only thought about her. About how brilliant she was, about how soft and warm and perfect her lips were on mine. About how she always made me feel at ease and comforted. I doubt she could ever make anyone afraid. Except maybe an opposing counsel. 

If I ever had to face her in court… I know I’d lose. For one, I’d give her anything she wanted simply because she could put me on my knees with a single look. And normally I’d hate to let a woman have that much control over me, but for Claudia… I’d let her do whatever she wanted. And Second, she knows what to do. All the time. She never misses a beat, and is always listening. Even when you think she isn’t.

I am so in love with Claudia. I felt my heart crack open. My voice more or less does the same. 

“Harvey…” “I am in love with her, Donna. And I think I have been for a long time.”

She was quiet, and a throat cleared. Mike was there in front of me, his hands in his pockets, a look of worry on his face. “Is everything alright?”

I saw Donna shake her head out of the corner of my eye. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she wanted to. 

“I broke my promise to Claudia.” That was all I said. I heard his sharp inhale, and he came and sat in front of us. “God dammit Mike… I really messed up. I hurt the one person I couldn’t afford to and- and I don’t know what to do.”

“Go talk to her,” Mike said. “If you’re serious about how you feel about Claudia, then you need to go tell her that it was never… whatever you were doing before. She has anxiety, Harvey. She is going to let her brain tell her things about you that aren’t true. And you need to be there to soothe the fire before it does irreversible damage.” “Well, what do you and Rachel do when you get into an argument?” 

“Harvey,” Donna said, “You aren’t Mike, and Claudia isn’t Rachel. Whatever they do might not work for you. You need to do what feels right for you and your relationship.” “I don’t know if you know this Donna, but I haven’t done something like this before. I don’t know how to talk to her. How to not make her anxious around me.” “We’ll help you,” Mike nods, as well as Donna. “We can come up with a plan but right now we’ve got a bigger problem on our hands.” What could be more devastating than hurting Claudia? 

Nothing. The answer was nothing.

____

CLAUDIA’S POV

I toed off my shoes, leaving them in the growing pile by my front door. I sighed at it. Why couldn’t they just put themselves away? 

My splitting headache was doing nothing to help either. 

Before I could even get a thought about what I could cook for dinner, the doorbell rang. I swear to god if Greg was here asking me about those flowers on my wreath again I was going to smack him with it, throw it over his head and shove him back inside his apartment and-

“Claudia, it’s Mike. I know you’re here, can we talk?”

Mike? What the hell is he doing here? 

I seriously debated giving my best housekeeper impression and deadbolting the door. But it was Mike, and he hadn’t done anything to deserve a cold shoulder. Oh god, what if Harvey was with him and I was getting set up? Oh shit.

“No, Harvey isn’t with me. I promise.”

I stalked to the door, pulling it open and glaring up at Mike. “The last time someone made me a promise I regretted it.” He just pressed his lips in a flat line. “What are you doing here, Mike?”

“I’m here on behalf of Harvey.” “Why?” “Because he’s worried about you.” Why is he worried about me? He made it very clear he didn’t give a shit about me. “He’s beating himself up over what he did.”

“Good,” that I didn’t restrain. 

“Claudia, he is really shaken up right now. He didn’t mean to do what he did. Now, I’m not going to stand here and pretend I know all the details about what he did but-” “He used me, Mike. Plain and simple.” All I got was a raised eyebrow. “He told me he wanted to ‘build my confidence’ which I was actually naive enough to believe, and it led to my worst fucking nightmare. But he just got what he wanted, to get his dick wet and then was done with me.”

“Claudia, trust me, it wasn’t like that. Harvey would never use you like that. He wouldn’t dream of it, trust me.”

“Are you sure because it seems like that’s exactly what he did. He saw that I was hard working, manipulated me into working with him, and treated me like shit when I was just trying to find a solution to his goddamn problem. I have more self respect than that. To let him continue to get away with that.”

“Can I ask what he did?”

My throat closed, and my palms began to sweat. I knew my annoying blush was there by the way his eyes dipped to my neck. 

“After I won my first case with him, he invited me up to his office for some drinks. Said something along the lines of wanting to get to know each other so I didn’t have to feel so nervous. So I went up, and one thing led to another and… I don’t know why I let it happen. I knew it would end badly. I can’t believe I let myself believe that he would be into me beyond anything other than his pure primal satisfaction. But he seemed so genuine and so caring. Like he genuinely wanted to help me, and some part of me obviously thought it was a good idea because it happened again. And again. And again. God, I sound like the biggest loser right now.” “No you don’t,” Mike gave me a soft smile. “If it means anything, those feelings weren’t one sided. I know it doesn’t mean much of anything coming from me but… Harvey is really really fucking sorry about what he did.”

I was physically shaking. Through my trembles, I managed to speak, despite my thoughts trying to shut me down. “It hurt so bad, Mike. I really like Harvey, and I thought he might feel the same way. I guess I was wrong. So… so wrong.”

“No, Claudia you’re not wrong. Harvey is a grade A asshole but he wouldn’t-”

“If there is any chance of Harvey sorting this out, you need to tell him to grow a set and tell me himself,” I have no idea where this confidence came from. “He needs to stop getting other people to do his job for him. If he can’t recognize that now, of all times, then… then I don’t think he deserves me.”

Mike blinked long, rubbing his fingers over his mouth. “Harvey didn’t ask me to come here.” “What?” What? 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I knew Harvey wouldn’t come tonight. I’m not sure he’ll come at all but… Claudia, he talks about you like I’ve never seen him talk before. He gushes over you to the point where it’s annoying. And when I went to go and talk to him about what our next move was for this case… Claudia, he was crying. He was sobbing with Donna in his office and-”

Good, I wanted to say. But it kind of crushed my soul. Harvey was crying over what he did to me. 

“I’ve never seen him cry before,” Mike looked hurt, too. “He regrets what he said. I know he does.”

“I believe you.”

“Good,” he nods. “I don’t want to do his job for him and I think-”

“But that doesn’t mean I will forgive him for what he said,” and with that, I closed the door, locking it for the night.

_____

Saturday and Sunday were so agonizing. The last thing I wanted to do was go into an office after a weekend of anything but rest and relaxation. I was tired and hadn’t showered and needed some restful sleep. Not to be woken up three times a night by dreams of Harvey touching me. Those certainly didn’t help. 

My mind kept replaying our first time together. Specifically when he said 'Oh, Claudia, you really are that innocent, aren’t you?’ Innocent and naive… just like he said that night. Who was I to think that Harvey would take any interest in me besides the fact that I was good at being a lawyer? I wasn’t special in any way, I think he just knew that I was easy to manipulate into doing what he needed. 

There was no way in hell I’d ever do another thing for Havrey, the all powerful jackass, Specter again.

As I set my stuff on my desk, Griffin walked up. Great. Just great, what did this prick want?

“Hey umm… Hi Claudia,” he rubbed the back of his head. “I just- I’m sorry. About all the things I’ve done to you. You didn’t deserve it and I want you to know that you have always been six-times the lawyer I wish I could be. I was jealous and took it out on you. And I shouldn’t have so… I’m sorry.”

Did I just hear that right? Did Griffin Harper just apologize to me? What the fuck is going on?

“Oh,” great way to start, idiot. “Thank you, Griffin.”

He just gave me a short nod before scurrying away. Well, that was… unexpected. Certainly I couldn’t ever let us be friends, but it was nice to know he wasn’t my mortal enemy any longer. 

I went about my business, plagued with thoughts and reminders of Harvey ever which way I went. Louis and Jessica sent me an email with some files to print out so I scanned them, proofed them, and sent them to the printing room. 

God it sent a shiver down my spine to be back in here after he… don’t finish the thought don’t finish the thought-

“Hey, Claudia,” Donna snapped me out of my heated thoughts. “How are you?” “You can cut the bullshit now, Donna.”

She sighed, “it was a genuine question.” “And that was a genuine answer. I’m not in the mood.”

“Claudia-” “No, Donna. What Harvey did wasn’t okay, and I’m not going to stand here and pretend like what he did didn't hurt. Because it did and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. I don’t need you here to remind me.”

“Have you ever considered that Harvey may want to fix it?”

“No, Donna. I haven’t. And I’m not going to,” I stood my ground, squaring off my freshly printed papers before making more copies for Louis. 

“What are you talking about?”

I scoffed. “Do you really think that I wouldn’t figure out what was going on?” “Again, what are you-” “I know Harvey just thinks that I am gullible and naive and easy to push around because he makes me nervous. And it’s true. Whenever I am near him I can’t keep myself composed and I’m sick and tired of being walked all over. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to let myself see otherwise, but I’m even more upset that you didn’t come clean and tell me.” “Claudia, no one is walking over you. And I didn’t know about any of this until you told me on Friday. Harvey came to you because he knew can rely on you and your abilities to get things accomplished. He wanted the chance to work with you and get you to trust him a little. You have to know that by now,” Donna was standing right next to me, blocking my way out. 

“Maybe I do, but that doesn’t mean that I believe it. Donna, I am not some corporate power house that is gonna bring firms to their knees. Not like he does.” “Nobody does what Harvey does.” “And that’s my point,” I grit my teeth. “Harvey was trying to make me into a mini version of him, just like he did with Mike and it’s not what I want to be. Donna, I am not assertive. I am not reckless and willing to go behind peoples backs to get the job done. I like rules and regulations and the law. They are there so people abide by them, and Harvey, more often than not, doesn’t do that. Yes, I look up to him as a role model because I admire his tenacity. But that doesn’t mean I like or agree with the things he does.”

“And you think that I like it when he goes and cuts someone’s legs out from under them?”

“I didn’t say that. But that means you know how I feel. I can’t- I don’t… I don’t want to be around someone like that. It makes me feel like I’m suffocating. And worst of all he gave me his word that he wouldn’t lash out and treat me like the other associates. I cant believe that I was stupid enough to believe that Harvey would-“

Both of us stopped as someone pushed through the door. 

Harvey…

“Donna,” Harvey’s mouth was pressed in a flat line. He jerked his head over his shoulder. Donna gave me a sympathetic look and turned on her heel. Where was she going?

“Wait, Donna don’t-” I whispered.

“You’ll be fine,” she gave me a firm look, patting my shoulder as she walked around Harvey. Oh my god… she set me up.

My heart felt like it was ripping out of my fucking chest. The last thing I needed right now was to be in an enclosed space with Harvey.

He stared at me, fussing with the cufflink on his shirt. “Claudia.” “I’m sorry, Mr. Specter, but I have to get these to Louis.” I tried to go around him, like Donna had, but he just let his body fall against the wall. Blocking the way. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him and ask him to let me go. 

“I want you to listen to me.” His voice was stern, in a demanding way, but not in a pissed off way. 

“No, I am in a rush. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “Come on, Claudia. Please just talk to me. I tried to call you but you didn’t answer and-.”

“I know, but I don’t want to talk to you. I want you to get out of my way so I can go do my job.” 

“A little feisty today, aren’t we?” He pushed off his shoulder, taking a step towards me, I took one back. And another as he took one. 

“No, I need to-” “Get those copies to Louis, I heard you,” Harvey acknowledged, but didn’t stop walking closer to me. My back eventually hit a copier and I almost fell over, but Harveys arms came to either side of my body, blocking me in. “And I don’t care.”

His face was inches from mine, chest inches from mine. I felt desperate for a breath. I forgot how to think, how to appear unphased. Everything he’s taught me has vanished from my mind. His eyes, much darker in this low over-head light, seemed to pierce my soul. 

“What… What are you doing?” My voice was barely audible. 

“I want you to know that I wouldn’t ever, ever, take advantage of you like that. I can’t even believe that you would think that. You think I enjoy making you a nervous wreck? Well, I don’t. It honestly makes me sick that even after all this time, you can’t trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

“Then what is it? Because clearly I am not understanding,” his tone deepened, voice scratching in his throat. 

I couldn’t- I didn’t know how to admit to him-

“I- I umm… Mr. Specter I can’t-”

“Stop calling me that, please, Claudia. Stop seeing me as your boss for one second and see me as literally anything else.”

I swallowed. Nothing went down. “Harvey… you are… you scare me more than anyone else I’ve ever met.” “Why?” his brows knit together. “What is it about me that makes you so afraid of me?”

“Everything.” I was shaking, visibly shaking in front of him. I looked anywhere but his eyes because I knew if I did I’d crack open and bleed my heart all over him. 

His exhale was sharp enough to rustle the small hairs framing my face. “Claudia just-”

“I can’t be around you without feeling like I’m gonna drown in your presence.” 

He was stunned silent for a beat too long. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Harvey I told you I didn’t want to-”

“Please, Claudia, tell me why you are so afraid of me.” He was begging. Begging for me to explain.

“Because I know that if I let myself think for one fucking second that you actually like working with me I’ll drop my guard around you. And I cannot afford to do that because there are things I keep locked inside that I would rather take to my grave than ever let someone know.”

“And what, you don’t think I’m equally as terrified to have these feelings for you?” “Not like mine.” Harvey gave me a very concerned glance. “There, you asked me to tell you. Please just let me go.”

“No, not until you tell me what is haunting you so much you’re willing to let it eat you alive rather than just let it out for once in your life. Look, I get that you’re a private person, and it’s hard for you to trust people, but that doesn’t mean you need to keep everything bottled inside and let it rot you from the inside out-”

“For the love of guard Harvey it’s you,” I shouted, far louder than I meant to. “It is you that is driving me insane. I cannot go a single moment of my day without thinking about you. I am terrified that you are going to see right through me and figure out that every thought that goes on inside my head has to do with you because for some reason, known only by some sick and twisted higher power, I want you to see me the way I see you. I want you to want me as much as I want you and-”

I stopped because I ran out of air. And then it hit me so hard I saw stars. What the fuck have I just done? My vision began to black out, my heart beating too fast for my lungs to keep up with. 

Harvey had backed up a step, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

I was going to throw up, I was sure of it. I tried to speak, but my mind had melted and oozed out of my ears. 

I ran, I left the copies on the floor; at some point I dropped them. And ran. His hand caught my elbow and I shrieked, whipping around just as Harvey slammed the door closed, pinning me, yet again. 

“You do not get to drop that ball and run away,” his voice had a darkness I’ve never heard. “Claudia, in what way do you want me?”

Frozen. My mind was utterly dysfunctional and useless. I couldn’t think, I’m surprised I remembered how to breathe. God his eyes…

“Claudia, please answer me.” Now his voice was tender, filled with warmth. His fingers tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “You have to tell me in what way now or I’m… you have to tell me.”

“Why does it matter? I've already ruined everything I’ve had going for me.” I was meek with my words. Wimpy. Cowardice. 

“Because it matters to me.”

“I want you, I want Harvey.”

“As in you want me, and not as your boss, Claudia?” He clarified. I had to shut my eyes, to turn my cheek to him so I wouldn’t see his reaction when I nodded in confirmation. “Fucking hell…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Just… just let me go and I can hand Jessica my letter of resignation right now and you never have to see me again-”

“Are you out of your mind?” Harvey’s caramel eyes were wide. “Claudia, I don’t want you to go. Not for one fucking second. Why do you even have a letter drafted?”

“But I just-” 

His fingers gripped my chin, forcing me to look up at him when I spoke. God dammit… Harvey’s thump caressed my lip, pulling it down and watching it spring up. Slowly, ever so slowly, he dipped it inside my mouth. I couldn’t help the soft noise that startled out of me. 

“Claudia… you have no idea how much I have been praying to hear you say those words. I have been driving myself out of my mind with what to say. How to say it and I- I don’t know how to tell you everything I’ve been wanting to. For weeks now.

“I have been thinking of you nonstop. I keep making up excuses and things to come see you during the day. I want nothing more than to get the chance to treat you right, and I want you to want it too. I promised myself I wouldn’t make a move unless you made one first because I knew how petrified you were of me. I can’t- I won’t have you be afraid of me if we do this.

“But I fucked up. I got ahead of myself and I didn’t go in the direction that I should've. I should've just asked you out to dinner, been a true gentleman rather than selfish. You have no idea how long I have been practicing what to say. I just made everything so much worse. And I wish like hell I could take it all back and do it all again because I am so so so fucking sorry for breaking my promise.”

I stared up at him, at the tears spilling over his lashes, and the flush on his cheeks. His lip quivered. He looked so vulnerable. So open and honest. Every part of me wanted to take it to heart, but that voice in the back of my head was telling me not to believe it.

“Harvey I-”

“Please, Claudia,” Harvey knelt to the ground, sitting back on his heels. “I will do whatever you want to gain your trust back. Anything… anything. But I can’t let you walk away from me. I want a real chance to make you happy, to give you every part of me. I will do or say or answer whatever you want but please do not leave me. If you truly don’t want me, tell me, and we never have to talk again. I will make it like I was never here in the first place if you told me to, but I don't think you want that. And I don’t want it either.”

Harvey was on his knees. Begging me to open my heart up to him. 

“Please don’t make me regret this, Harvey…”

He let out a breath, and a smile accompanied the tears that fell down his face. He reached for my hand, and I let him grab it. His fingers were warm and smooth in mine, familiar and comforting as he gently tugged me towards him. 

“I'm so sorry, Claudia. I will regret nothing more than the words I said to you. But I want to fix it, I want to be better. Not just for you, but for myself. But you are what makes me want to be better. I need to learn to control myself and take a page out of my own book to make that happen.”

Harvey rested his head on my stomach, and I let my fingers thread through his spiky hair. 

“But I don’t want you to be afraid of me anymore. I can’t- I won’t let you be afraid to ask me a question. I want to be there for you, work related or not, but I can’t do it if you don’t meet me halfway. I do remember you making me a promise back, to not see me as a monster.”

My hand stopped, and he looked up. I wanted to agree, but I was still upset, and he must’ve seen that. 

“Okay, that was a bad time to bring that up.”

“Yup.” 

Harvey huffed a laugh, standing back up. His smile was sweet, his finger gentle as it swept some hair away from my face. 

“You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Claudia Olivia Martin.”

“How did you find out my middle name?”

“Donna,” he smiled wider. I just rolled my eyes. “I don’t really know how to do any of this, so I asked her for some help. I knew I had to do it myself. I just didn’t really know where to start and she’s… well, she’s Donna.” “Yes, she is Donna,” I smiled up at him. “But it’s gonna take me more than that to convince me.”

“Oh I have like seven other things lined up and ready to go. If you'd like to hear them. First, you are the most stunning, breathtaking, gorgeous woman I have ever met in my life. Second, I admire every part of you. All your good habits, your bad, your anxious thoughts and brave approach to life. Because they all make you you. Three, I am the biggest fucking idiot. For starting all of this off wrong, for yelling at you. For leading you to believe that I just wanted to get in your pants.”

“You’re also an asshole. A bit of a coward and a bitch. Did I say that you were an asshole?”

“Okay okay,” he placed his hands on my hips and I let him, doing nothing to hide the giggle that bubbled out. “Yes, I am all of those things. And, for the record, I did want to get in your pants, just not that way.”

“Of course you did, who could resist all of this?” My heart sped up when he looked at me over, a huge grin spreading his cheeks wide and bright. 

“Looks like you’ve gained a little confidence, huh?”

“Well, I did have a not so awful teacher. That was before he betrayed me.” “Are you gonna stop rubbing salt into the wound?”

I faked a ponder, “Nope.”

“Claudia,” he pressed a tentative kiss to my cheek, then gauged my response before placing one on the other. “Olivia,” another kiss. “Martin.” He kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose. “I will never be able to take back what I said, but I hope you find it in your heart to give me a second chance. Even good people are great at making bad decisions. I know I can be a better man, and I know you know that too. Just one,” a kiss to my left cheek, “More,” right cheek, “Chance.”

His lips hovered over mine, waiting for permission before he pressed them into mine. My heart was beating so fast. So strong, all because of him. All for him. 

My eyes met his, “Okay, Harvey.”

Those devastating eyes ignited. His smile grew so wide I got lost in it with my own. I was pressed flat to him, my hands on his shoulders, his hands on my lower back. My ears were buzzing with my pulse and I hoped he felt how fast it was. Who knew Harvey had such a way with words? I wondered how long he practiced all of this in the mirror. Who knows, maybe he was secretly a hopeless romantic and-

“Claudia,” Harvey snapped me out of my daydream. 

“Hmm?” “Please tell me I can kiss you.”

Oh. Right. 

“And what if I say no?”

“Then I won’t.”

“And if I say yes?” “I’ll make sure it is the best damn kiss you’ve ever and will ever have.”

Sounds pretty good to me. I pressed up on my toes, arms wrapping around his neck, and finally let our lips say hello. It had been too long, It felt so right, so perfect. And I realized it felt like all the other times we’ve kissed; I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. I wanted to kiss Harvey. Harvey goddamn Specter. 

I should find out what his middle name is from Donna to surprise him. 

“Come over tonight,” he blurted out.

“What?” “Come over, let me cook something for you. We can make it our first date. A real date. Let me start this off on the right foot. Unless tonight is too soon and you need more time to heal and process or-”

“Just stop talking,” I literally put my fingers over his mouth. “I’d love to come over for dinner, Harvey.”

If I hadn’t been in his arms I’m sure he’d jump up and down out of excitement. He kissed me again, and again, and again. The slight stubble on his chin tickled my neck enough for me to tuck down into my shoulders when he kissed below my ear. 

“Hey, Claudia, I just want to make sure- oh. Well, this seems to be going well,” Donna had a proud smile on her face, arms crossed over her chest.

“It is,” Harvey beamed down, never taking his eyes off of me. 

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.”

“How much of this was your idea?” I asked. 

“I suggested he get a horse and carriage to surprise you on your way out but he knew you wouldn’t want a grand gesture,” She said. “So I think that should say it well enough as to who came up with all the ideas.” When I looked back at him, he had a flush to his cheeks, and hid his grin. 

“Wow, Harvey, I’m impressed.” “Well,” he shrugged. “I don’t know… I wanted it to be authentic and special. Something that you would take to heart and genuinely appreciate. So it’s the best I could come up with over the weekend because if I didn’t do it soon I was going to explode.”

“Seriously, Claudia. This idiot wouldn’t leave my house for two days. I had to kick him out so he could get a shower and change. Did you even sleep?” “You haven’t slept?” He shook his head. “Harvey, what- okay. We need to do our dinner another day because if you try to cook you might set your house on fire and that would-” “Nope, too bad. I’m fine, really Claudia. I can handle making dinner. I’ll leave early and take a nap if that would make you feel better.” “Yes, it would,” I sighed out, looking back at Donna who had a look that meant trouble. “What?” “You guys are adorable.”

I blushed. “Oh, wait! Before you go, what’s Harvey’s middle name? I mean, he went to you for mine so it’s only fair…”

“Don’t you dare,” Harvey pointed at Donna who all but melted the Wicked Witch of the West with her smirk.

“Reginald.”

“Reginald?” I repeated. “Seriously?”

“It’s a family name, alright?” He defended. “Now, if you two will excuse me I have a very important dinner to plan for an even more important girl. Donna, can you-” “Already cleared your schedule.”

“Remind me to give you a raise.” “Oh I’ve already written a bonus check, it just needs your signature.” “I’m surprised you didn’t forge it,” I snickered. 

“I would’ve but having Harvey do it makes it that much more satisfying.”

Harvey just shook his head, but smiled at us both. “I’ll see you tonight, is seven good?” “Sounds perfect,” I nodded, relishing in his warmth as he pressed one more kiss to the top of my head before leaving. 

“So,” Donna swayed on her feet. “I take it that things went well?” “Yeah, yeah it did. I was surprised, today has been so weird. Even Griffin apologized to me.” “Griffin? Really?” “Yeah,” I followed in step behind her towards the bullpen. “He genuinely apologized to me. It was so unexpected. Now this… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dreading this happening. But it turned out way better than I expected so I can’t complain. I need to stop expecting the worst case scenario all the time and believe that I can handle anything that comes at me.”

“Now that sounds like true growth and confidence,” Donna slung her arm over my shoulder. “And definitely something Harvey couldn’t have taught you.” “No, he didn’t. That was all on my own.”

___

As I packed up to head home for the day, my stomach was on fire with nerves about tonight. Not nerves, excitement. 

“Hey, Claudia,” Griffin caught up to me right before the elevator closed. “Do you want to join us for drinks tonight?”

I just smirked. “Sorry, Griffin. I can’t, I have a date with Harvey Specter.” And I let the door shut before he could get on.

____

This building. For fucks sake his front door cost more than what I make in a year, probably. The door man had given me a bit of a side eye when I asked to be let up to Harvey. Well, here I was. 

The bottle of wine in my hand wasn’t getting any colder as I paced outside of his apartment. Was I making this a bigger deal than it needed it to be? Most definitely. 

I knocked. 

Harvey opened it a few moments later, a smug look on his face. “I was wondering how long you were going to just stand there.”

God dammit. The heat rose up my neck and I looked away. “Just shut up and take the wine.”

He chuckled, plucking it from my grasp before stepping aside to let me in. I gazed up and into his hallway, following it down to the kitchen. Woah… holy windows. The already set sun lit up the sky with blues and purples, making all of this feel very cinematic. 

“You didn’t need to bring this, Claudia,” Harvey smiled nonetheless. 

“I just- I don’t know, isn't that what people do when they’re invited over?”

“Why are you still so nervous?” 

Right to it, I guess. “What makes you say that?” “Well,” he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was wearing all black. He looked… too good for his own good. Or mine for that matter of fact. “For starters, you’ve clearly been running your fingers through your hair. Second, I’ve watched you fiddle with that string on your sleeve at least four times now.”

My fingers ceased their motion. I had been toying with it. “I like to keep my hands busy.”

“I call it a nervous habit.”

“Did you invite me here for dinner or just to pick on me for being anxious?” 

“You have no reason to be anxious here,” he crept closer, taking my hand in his. Harvey gently kissed the back of my fingers. “There is no one here to watch, no prying eyes to hide from. It’s just me, Claudia.”

“And that is precisely what makes me nervous,” I did let a laugh bubble up. “But, you’re right. I guess there is no reason to be so… terrified.”

“Good,” he smiled, placing his hands on my hips. I let mine fall around his shoulders. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” I turned to look behind me, a few pots and a pan of vegetables on the stove. Harvey’s hands still lingered on my sides as I peered over to look inside.

“I didn’t know the great Harvey Specter could cook,” I jabbed, making him roll his eyes playfully. “It looks lovely, thank you.”

“Told you, there’s more to the name than the title it comes with.”

From the table, I watched him plate the stir fry dish and bring it over. I was starving, and I made sure to eat my lunch a little later so I wouldn’t be ravenous by the time this dinner rolled around. I wasted no time taking a forkful and practically inhaling it. 

“I’ll take that as a good sign?” 

I nodded, “It’s amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this?” “Here and there. My brother owns a bar and restaurant back home, we used to like to cook together all the time.” “I didn’t know you had a brother,” I tilted my head. “That’s amazing, though. Glad you put those skills to good use.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

I hummed, “Yeah I have two brothers. I’m the baby of the family.”

“Am I going to have to win their trust one day?” 

My laugh echoed through the spacious dining room, “No, they’re pretty cool. Vince, my oldest brother, is married, has two kids who are in college. My other brother, Caleb, is the one you’ve gotta watch out for. He’s my twin and very vocal about the men in my life, especially when he doesn’t think they’re good enough for me.”

“I see,” Harvey gave me a look I knew all too well. 

“Yeah, he can be a pain in my ass sometimes. But I love him, he always stood up for me when I was too afraid. Whether someone was picking on me in school or tried to get one up on me at a bar, he was always there. He’s just protective of me, they both are, but Caleb… he’s always had my back.” “It’s good to have those types of people on your side,” Harvey’s smile was so bright. 

For about an hour we ate and had dessert. I don’t know how, he probably asked Donna, but he had my absolute favorite chocolate cake. Coated in a thick butter cream, it practically melted in my mouth. I wasn’t shy about telling him how delicious it was. 

“I could marry this cake,” I knew I was being dramatic, but I didn’t care. “If I could take this cake, and mold it in the shape of a man, I would.”

Harvey grinned, looking from the cake on his plate, back up to me as I spooned another mouthful. He dipped his finger in the frosting and swiped it across his cheek. I blushed, so hard, and he just laughed and laughed. 

“You think you’re funny, huh?” I had to put my face in my hands. 

“I do, actually. Why don’t you come over here and clean it off for me,” Harvey spoke dangerous words. I raised my eyebrow in question, but he merely scooted his chair back in response, palms turned upward. 

Now or never, I thought. 

I stood, my bare feet padding quietly to Harvey. This is where I had confidence. Could use his own game against him. Because up until this point, all Harvey knows about me is that I am a nervous wreck in front of him. 

The cards have no longer been dealt in his favor. 

I swung my leg over his, perching on his thigh. I took my thumb and ran it across his face, collecting the decorative icing off his cheek, licking my thumb clean. His eyes tracked my movements, especially when I stuck out my tongue and showed him the mess.

His throat bobbed, and his eyes darkened. 

“Where did that shy, blushing Claudia go?” Harvey’s voice sent a chill down my spine. 

“Away, for now,” I smirked. “There are plenty of versions of Claudia you haven’t met before.”

“And who exactly is this version?” He asked.

“That depends,” I huffed. “Are you going to let me have what I want or are you going to make me earn it?”

Harvey’s hands crept up my thighs, cupping my ass gently. “You’re gonna let me choose?”

“You better choose carefully.”

“And why is that?”

“Because,” I said. “You can either let me take what I want, or try to take what you want. But I’ll let it be known, that isn’t possible. You won’t be able to resist me long enough to uphold that promise.”

“Oh, you think I’m that easy?” Harvey countered, tightening his hold on my body. I let out a whine, enticing him into my game further. 

“I don’t know, Harvey.” I ran my hand down his chest, grinding back and forth on his thigh. I leaned close to his ear, “I can be your every fantasy or your worst nightmare.”

I pulled away from his body, taking a few steps back and towards another hallway. I assumed that’s where his bedroom was, and judging by the screeching of the chair against the floor, I was heading in the right direction. 

The first door I pushed open was, thankfully, the right room. His clothes were hung up neatly in the closet on the opposite side of the room, the city below shining onto the walls. Harvey shut the door quickly, turning on a lamp beside his bed. 

Harvey grinned like the devil and crushed his mouth to mine. I didn’t waste any time letting his tongue tangle with mine. Harvey kissed like the god he was, like a true emperor. He tasted like pure sin, like the cake we were just sharing.

My hands went to the buttons on his shirt, fitting them through the tiny holes and pushing it off his shoulders. 

“Mmm wait, sweetheart,” Harvey broke our lips apart. “I don’t wanna do it this way tonight. Let me take care of you. Please.”

Well, when he sounded like that, who was I to resist him? I let him lay me down, his body between my legs as he placed the most tender kiss on my lips. He moved down my chest, slowly lifting my shirt and placing his mark on my stomach. Up my chest, and my neck. 

“You are so beautiful, Claudia. And I can’t believe I get to have all of you to myself. I can’t wait to make you feel so good.”

I sighed out, letting my eyes close as he explored my body. He was forward with his choices, but he wasn’t ever harsh. He was so soft. So loving and so caring. No one had ever made me feel equally nervous or excited as Harvey did. But now… I wasn’t afraid of him. I don’t think I could ever again. 

“Is it okay if I take these off?” “I wasn’t sure you knew how to ask for permission,” I giggled. He just scowled, but I nodded. “Of course, Harvey. Do whatever you want.” “Don’t-” he swallowed. “Don’t say things like that when I am trying to be sweet and nice to you.”

“I think you’re forgetting that I like it when you manhandle me,” I smiled up to the ceiling before looking at him between my legs. “Sorry, carry on.”

He laid a not so gentle tap to the inside of my thigh before removing my skirt. The chill of the air spread goosebumps across my skin, even more when he placed kisses from my ankle to my hips bone. 

“God I could spend all day between your legs. They’re so perfect,” he praised, spreading them wide so he could fit his torso between them. “You’re so fucking hot, Claudia.” I flushed, beet red, and turned away from him. But his fingers brought me right back. 

“You don’t get to be shy now, sweetheart. Not tonight, let me see all of you.”

“I’m all yours Harvey.” Our eyes locked, and the sparks flew. His lips were on mine, hurried, but not starving. It was intense and passionate and everything I could’ve asked it to be. He lifted my shirt over my head and slipped off my bra from behind. Thankfully his chest was warm against mine.

From one second to the next, Harvey swooped me on top of him and rolled, tugging the sheet with him. When they were freed, he laid me back down and put them over his body. 

“Oh, guess I should get these off,” he grinned, pushing his jeans down his thighs, his briefs going with them. Man… what a sight to behold. Harvey wasn’t shredded, but it was clear his boxing habits kept him in good shape. 

There was something about him that just made me want to crumble and fold. 

Harvey’s lips were hot as they moved all over me, nipping and biting and leaving tiny marks here and there. Before he could lose all his resolve, he reached over to his bedside table and plucked a foil packet from a little jar. Classy. 

“Doing okay, sweetheart?” He smoothed down my hair. 

“Yes, Harvey. I’d be better if…” I locked my legs around his middle, pulling him to me. “You just got on with it.” “Such an impatient little thing,” his grin gave away his facade. 

“Oh please, don’t act like you’re not craving this as much as I am.” “You’re right,” he smirked, lining up and pushing all the way in. a low groan escaped his flushed lips. “But I know you can’t get enough of this.”

I breathed heavily, clinging to him. His hips stirred, slowly pulling back, and sinking all the way in. Harvey rested his head on my shoulder, tongue making patterns on my ignited skin. I tugged at his hair, lips working on their own to find all his sweet spots. 

I raked my nails up his back, not missing when his hips slowed and he moaned. So I did it again. His thumb found its way between my legs and circled around where I wanted it most. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to take care of me. 

Harvey took his time, making sure that I was feeling good and got what I wanted. This was so different from the feverish moments we’ve had in the office. But it was somehow way better. Well, it could use one thing.

As he laced our fingers together, I moved our hands up. He stopped kissing me for a moment to give me a puzzled look. But I slipped his grip from mine and placed his hand on my throat. 

“I don’t need you to go all ‘sir’ on me tonight, but just give me this. Please.” I did the best I could with my eyes to lure him in, and it worked. It tightened, but it was never tight. It was just there, a reminder of the part of him I was going to get to see whenever I wanted. 

He started to let his control slip, and I knew it was hard for him to be so gentle. But I appreciated it so much. I let some of my control slip as well, just because I wanted to rile him up. His breath quickened, and so did his hips. His thumb was relentless between my legs and I could feel my high approaching.

“Come on, sweetheart, let go. Make yourself feel so good for me.” There it was, the Harvey that kept me up at night. That has plagued my dreams for the past few days. 

I met his hips with mine, and my release crashed over me when I wasn’t expecting it. I shook in his arms as he continued to move, chasing his own time. 

“Fuck, Harvey,” I gasped. “Let go for me, you did such a good job making me feel good.”

He cursed, tucking his head down momentarily before crushing his mouth to mine, not shy about how I was making him feel. His body went rigid, and the praise streamed out of his mouth.

“Fuck fuck Claudia… god you feel so good. You are so perfect for me. So soft and warm.”

My lips would surely be bruised tomorrow morning, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was being here with Harvey. About carrying him through the aftershocks of his release. I rubbed at his back, kissed his neck and cheeks. When he lifted his head, he had this dreamy look on his face. 

“You look so hot,” he ran his thumb across my cheek, bringing me in for another kiss. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

“I’m glad I decided to do it. I can’t decide which Harvey I like more. This one or the one who calls me sweetheart.”

“Did I not call you sweetheart tonight?” “You did, but not the way you do when I call you ‘sir’.”

“Ahh, I see,” he smirked. “As much as I would like to think that I could flip a switch right now, I don’t want to spoil this moment with you.”

“If you don’t want to spoil it, then you should take us into the shower.”

And then I was in the shower. Hot water streaming between us from the rain shower head. His hands were soft as he kneaded my body; they particularly felt nice on my ass, especially when he added his lips to the mix. 

“You are so amazing, Claudia. I cannot stress that enough.” “You’re doing an amazing job,” I smiled, kissing him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“I know,” he grinned, smacking my ass before lathering up his hands and running them through my hair. It was hard to not fall asleep standing up. “Sweetheart, if you keep making those noises it is going to be very very hard to not take you right here.”

My eyes flew open, his very apparent arousal pressing into my backside. Well, alright then. Go Claudia, you sexy son of a bitch!

“And who’s to say that I wouldn’t want that?” “I am trying to hold back, you know. I wanted tonight to be different, to be special. I didn’t want it to be heated and rough and-”

“Harvey,” I turned, pressing a hand to his chest. “I know.” “I wanted to ‘make love’ or whatever they call it in those cheesy romance books you read.”

I laughed out loud, picturing Harvey curled up on the couch with a book in his hand, a fire in the fireplace. “Nobody says ‘making love’ any more, babe.” “Babe?” “Yeah, babe. I figured you wouldn’t like sugar, or honey bun, or baby for that matter.”

“Don’t make me sound older than I am, please. For fucks sake I passed the Bar when you were in highschool.”

“It doesn’t bother me all that much anymore,” I admitted, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I thought it would, but it doesn’t really make a difference to me.”

“Good, I’m glad it doesn’t freak you out,” he smiled. “And, for the record, I hope it doesn’t freak your folks out.”

“It won’t.”

He lifted up a brow, “How could you know?” “Because I already told them about you.” I felt him go tight. “Relax. They knew who you were already and they couldn’t have been more excited that I found a caring, respectful, well respected man.”

He let out a sigh, “and your brothers?” “They don’t know yet, but don’t worry about them, either. It will be okay.”

“When did you become the consoling one? It’s weird.” “I know, right?” I giggled. When I looked into his eyes, there was a fondness to his gaze. He was looking at my body, but not in a way he had before. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Harvey shrugged, “I just love you so much, Claudia. And I am so proud of how far you’ve come in just these first couple of months.”

My heart hitched in my chest, then beat so wildly I wasn’t entirely sure it didn’t burst through my skin and land in his hands. I froze. Mike had been right. Harvey wasn’t just some cock, high strung New York attorney that couldn’t decipher his own feelings. He seemed incredibly in tune with his emotions and that couldn’t be more attractive. 

I just kissed him. I didn’t know what else to do other than kiss him. He had to take a step back to support our combined weight. Harvey’s arms were strong around my waist, his lips reassuring and just as firm as his grip. 

“I love you too, Harvey. So fucking much.”

____

The comforters pulled tight, Harvey's body pressed behind mine… I couldn’t think of a more relaxing way to end the night. Especially after I slipped to my knees in the shower and showed him just how much I loved him. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming about having you in my arms one night. All night long.”

I hummed, scooting back so his chest met my back, his legs molding with mine. “I may have fantasized about it once or twice as well.” “Have you now?” “Again, there are several versions of Claudia you haven’t met before.” “And I look forward to coaxing every single one of them out with my mouth… my tongue… my hands… my-”

“Tomorrow,” I whispered, letting my eyes lull shut. “We can do it all again tomorrow. On the table, on the counter, on the couch-” “You’re not helping the situation here, you know,” he tugged at my half-dried hair. “Don’t get me started, sweetheart. I just might not let you get any sleep tonight.”

I clenched my thighs together. This was going to be such a sweet, tortuous game to play. And I got to play it every day. Every night, if I wanted. He wouldn’t be able to resist me. I had a secret weapon.

“Whatever you say, sir.”

His hand was wrapped around my throat, forcing my head to turn back to look at him. He clicked his tongue, eyes more awake than they had been a few minutes ago. “Oh sweet, innocent little Claudia. I guess you haven’t learned your lesson yet. It’s okay, I’d be happy to give you more instruction. I think I recall saying that eventually I would break you down over and over again until all you could remember was my name and how to breathe. Well, sweetheart. What do you think? Because I think you can still form coherent thoughts. I think it’s time we change that, don’t you?” I nodded, “Yes.”

His grip tightened and tightened and tightened. “Yes what?”

I smirked, climbing into his lap and taking him into my hand. “Yes, sir.”

[valley-of-headcanons]

how the bachelors would react to getting a squishmallow || headcanons

they would love anything given to them by their favorite farmer <3

warnings: mostly just cute, slice-of-life <3 lots of images ahead

requested by: meeee, i got bored and wanted to write something so here this is lmao.

alex

• You HAD to give him Mario, just look at him! He's a Dusty look alike, and you know how much Alex cares about his dog. Plus, his parents want him to be an architect, but he's a pastry chef! How cool is that??

• Alex was excited when he saw the Squishmallow, smiling like an idiot when he wrapped his arms around it. He didn't really care about the tag, he just smooshed it close to his chest. He loved how soft it was, and knowing that you thought of him when you saw it made him incredibly happy.

• Will NOT admit that he sleeps with it every night. He has way too much pride for that. However, when you walk into his room and see him scrambling to put it somewhere else, it's an adorable sight.

• “How'd you find one that looks like Dusty? That's so cool! Thanks, I've gotta pay you back somehow!”

elliot

• Eiko the Octopus was the best one that you could think of for Elliot. Look at how esteemed his is! Profession aesthetic paired with romantic touches? That's Elliot if I've ever seen him!

• Of course, Elliot would cherish anything that you give him. This was no different, he saw it as if it were the greatest thing on planet Earth. He held it, showered it with praises and kisses, along with you.

• He has it placed on his writing desk, next to anything else you give him. However, he often talks to him. It's a better substitute for talking to himself, and he even refers to Eiko by name! Eiko is one of his best friends, and he is so grateful you blessed him with Eiko's presence.

• “Does this plotline sound stupid, Eiko? It's a romance novel, but it's set five billion years into the future, and the whole world has re set at this point? No, no- you're right. It IS stupid. Back to the drawing board ... Darling, don't come in here yet!”

harvey

• Dr. Hoot is perfect for Harvey. He is so adorable, and he's such a good doctor! Dr. Hoot and Dr. Harvey are perfect pals, and you're not allowed to keep them separated for two long!

• Harvey didn't really expect a gift, and he couldn't help but blush when you gave him such a thoughtful one. “Oh my- thank you! This is ... this is fantastic- you didn't have to do this, sweetie!”

• He keeps him on the top shelf in his office, far away from people's touch but close enough so that he can be seen. He doesn't want germs all over him, but he wants to help people calm their nerves! He does bring him down with the children, though. Dr. Hoot is a hit with them!

• He brings him down from the shelf at night and carries him to bed, making sure to wash him beforehand if he's been touched at all. It makes him smile, knowing that you care about him just as much as he cares about you.

sam

• It's Pep the Pizza. Look at him and all of his glory. He's a delivery driver, delivering himself? You don't know, but you and Sam will certainly have late night discussions about the topic! He also loves music, just like Sam! It's a perfect match.

• When you present the Squishmallow to Sam, his eyes light up with childlike wonder. He immediately starts reading the tag, reading it allowed slowly and understanding who this awesome slice of Pizza is. He's absolutely thrilled!

• He will absolutely throw it at you if you aren't paying attention, smacking you on the side of the face. This of course turns into a pillow fight, or more like a food fight? Who knows?

• “Why does he deliver pizza? Does he deliver himself? Or is he a cannibal, cooking his fellow pizzas? You let a criminal in my house, I can't believe you! ... eh, it's okay. He's delicious, so he can stay.”

sebastian

• Look at Stump, his perfect for anyone with a darker aesthetic. Perfect for Sebastian! It matches perfectly with his vibe, and his name is Stump. Straight to the point, look at him go!

• When you give it to Sebastian, he can't help but smile as he holds it, squishing it around. He can't stop looking between you and it, before hugging you. Stump is DEFINITELY incorporated in cuddle time, shoved between you two, making cuddles even more comfortable! Absolutely perfect.

• “This is really thoughtful, thank you ...” his face is super flushed and he can barely speak. He has short circuited. He loves any sweet gestures from you, and this was so thoughtful. He can't get over how cute you are.

• Robin has probably come down to his room to see the Squishmallow laying on his bed, which she asked about with a laugh. She knew about you, but she just had to tease her son. However, she was happy her son was with someone so loving.

shane

• If you don't give Shane a chicken, have you even played the game? You have to go with Reed, he's realistic, he's ... a chicken. Plus, he just has that vibe, y'know? That's a Shane chicken, definitely.

• When you said you had a gift for him, he just looked in your direction quietly. He wasn't expecting much, or anything valuable at all, but when you pulled Reed out ... he was really happy about it. He didn't expect something so sweet. He really liked it, you could tell by how he just stared at it with a slight grin.

• “This is ... nice, thank you. I wasn't expecting anything like this, but ... I appreciate it,” he said slowly, looking into your eyes. He's trying to communicate and show his affection. His trying his hardest.

• If Jas is having a nightmare, he'll pull out Reed to help her feel better. Of course, he'll ask for it back when she's feeling better. If she really really needs one, he'll buy one for her so that she'll have her own! She calls it twinsies, he calls it an extremely late birthday present.

[bruciemilf]

I’m so glad I found someone else who has headcanons about Bruce having bad past relationships and the kids being protective over him because of it, especially Dick and Jason. I have so many headcanons and writing plans for it, I’d love to hear more of your ideas for his exes if you ever want to share!

UM PLEASE SHARE THOSE???? I'll do wretched things just to read those, you can't just say that and expect me to be Normal abt it -

But oh my GOD thanks so much for giving me an opportunity to scream about this because like -

One of my favourite headcanons is that Harvey was actually Bruce's first boyfriend. before Gotham chewed him up and spat Two Face out. I can totally imagine him being sorta like - a step dad for Dick and Jason? ESPECIALLY Jason.

I've seen some issues where they have that scrumptious " estranged father" and ''get the FUCK out of my life'' kid dynamic and let me tell you: I am eating it UP, no fork, no spoon, just devour

- conclusion, divorced couple, Bruce has all custody of Jason and Harvey hates him for it

Slade would be a close second because GOSH, early 2000s teen titans showing slade wanting to become Dick's twisted father figure,, I Am So Weak.

Bruce stays subscribed to his no kill rule n matter what, but the image of him holding Slade at knife point and threatening to murder him if he even looked at his boy,,, shaking crying throwing up

" you mean OUR boy, right?"

" he's never going to be like you. And he's never going to be like ME. You can bet on that, too."

Ofc Talia and Selina have the most rights; I love to imagine that Bruce loves Talia, but he's not IN love with her, yet, they both love Damian so incredibly much ( i refuse to believe that bruce would EVER let her think shes not capable of love) that it doesn't bother Talia anymore.

And Selina is Def the favorite ex. She has a mug that says " World's Okayest Almost Mom" and she'd trade her diamonds for it any day, any time. Quite possibly helps the batbrats in their protective shenanigans bc she's the ex turned best friend

[jsprnt]

Healing Hearts PT. 16 | Virgil van Dijk

Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?

A/N: sending you all the love you might need on this day <3 enjoy!

WC: 4.217

Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?

"Right that's perfect." I state, giving Ryan a high five. "You've improved a lot." I tease, patting his shoulder. He smiles, giving me one of his pearly smiles as he stands up.

Recovery day would always be one of my favorite days at this job. No stressing, just rejuvenation.

We did have to keep in mind that we have another match tomorrow, this time for the Carabao Cup against Bournemouth.

We decided to mostly focus on recovery as that was the most important thing right now. Especially, to prevent any problems down the road.

"Of course, you still act like I'm a teenager!" He retorts, looking down at me. Damn, was he getting taller or was I going crazy?

"Can you blame me-"

The sudden feeling of something hitting my leg makes me stop talking, looking down to see a ball roll away from my feet.

I look up to find the perpetrator, a smug Curtis looking at me.

"Excuse me! We're actually busy here!" I shout, giving him a half serious look, folding my arms up to my chest.

"Sorry Doc, two touch got too intense. Right, Harv?" He says, looking over to a equally smug looking Harvey.

"Curt, do you ever leave y/n alone?" I hear, snapping my head to see Virgil walk over. His tatted arm overwhelmingly distracting. An immediate rush of adrenaline flowing through my body.

"I'm sure you would want me to." Curtis replies and I send a cold glare, raising my eyebrows in warning. One more word and I'd rob him of those 500 pounds.

I hear muffled chuckles somewhere in the gym, but don't dare to move another inch.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Dr. Davis right now?" I change the topic, tapping the watch on my wrist.

He huffs, and I kick the ball back to Harvey.

"Come on, go on." I usher Curtis, waving my hand.

I turn to Ryan again, dismissing him with a smile and grab my folder off of the floor. Checking for the next player I had to observe.

I look up, making eye contact with Virgil. The look in his eyes speaking millions of words.

"Your turn." I fake sigh, trying to hide the smile on my face, tapping my shoe on the mat multiple times.

Thankfully, we had to begin at the exercising equipment in the far corner in the room, being able to ignore some glances from the other players. They didn't even try to hide their chuckles and whispers this time as they glanced at us.

I had obviously heard about the bet about us- or whatever Curtis had told me. Our days of hiding our relationship were numbered, and I was scrambling to stretch them.

I decide to act clueless, pretending to be busy with the folder in my hands. Looking up now and then at Virgil. Hoping I was putting on some Angelina Jolie or Lupita Nyong'o acting.

I'd do anything at this point.

"You look good in red." Virgil whispers through a tired grunt and I look up again, raising my brows.

"Really? Right now?" I whisper, looking down at his exercising form.

Droplets of sweat forming on his forehead and gliding down his neck, making contact with the reddish-purple bruises peeking out of his collar.

Yes, my office was a highly dangerous place at this point. Especially, in the morning before training even began.

The entire and I mean the entire gym goes quiet, apart from the foreign song blasting through the speakers. I glance around, almost everyone staring at us.

Virgil follows my eyes, realizing the deafening silence as well.

Damn, I really needed an Oscar at this point.

"Do you guys want exercising tips from your skipper or is winning the Carabao Cup and being in top form more important?" I ask, cocking a brow up to the guys, but I can't help but chuckle at their puzzled faces.

The loud chatter returns again, I laugh again watching them go back to their own exercises.

"You know I didn't do anything." Virgil whispers, voice deep as he looks at me, his hands up in surrender for a moment. He stands up, fixing his shirt. He leans closer to me, whispering.

"Play along with me."

His hand suddenly goes up to his arm, a very convincing pained grunt leaving his lips.

My eyes go wide, confused but looking up at him concerned.

"What's wrong?" I ask my voice a little louder, my hand going up to his arm, hoping he was actually faking it.

"You alright captain?" I hear, Joe coming up to us. His eyebrow raised, other players looking at us as well.

"Think I strained my arm." He replies, closing and opening his fist repeatedly. His eyes looking into mine, a hint of urgency in them.

"I'll check it out in my office." I quickly say, looking back and forth in between the two men.

I let go of Virgil's arm, motioning him to start moving. Taking him to my office, not daring to look behind me.

"Are you being serious?" I ask Virgil as he sits on the treatment table. My hand going up to his arm, the skin of his jacked bicep soft against my fingers.

He chuckles lowly, grabbing my other arm to pull me closer.

"No, just wanted to do this." He mumbles, his hand coming up my chin, his fingers running down my jawline.

He leans in without another word, his lips are on mine tenderly. I gasp into the kiss, but melt into it. Fluttering my eyes shut, letting go of my worries, allowing him to pull me closer. A feeling of desire burning through me, flickering like a raging flame and consuming my senses.

I move my hand up to his chest, fisting his shirt with a firm grip. I pull away, opening my eyes, small annoyed smile on my lips.

"You made me worry for that?" I say, hitting his chest, no malice in my touch.

"You look too good in red." He replies, hands on my waist.

"-and see how no one is looking at us now?"

"Like this made us look less suspicious?" I reply, letting go of his shirt.

"Works for me."

I open my mouth to respond, but my grumbling stomach beats me to it.

"Think it's lunchtime." He teases, and I close my eyes in embarrassment.

"You think?"

"It's weird because I've never really cared about the opinions of strangers. Growing up I wasn't a insecure or very sensitive child. I was pretty independent." I explain, lifting my leg up to the sofa comfortably. Looking at my therapist, her black hair falling in front of her face as she leans forward to look at me.

"Would you say it only happened after adulthood?" She asks, eyes sweet and kind behind her glasses.

I look away, thinking of my answer.

"I think? I made friends easily when I was younger, but when I left my teenage years it started getting more- difficult? Then I started really thinking of the opinions of others."

"Were there any changing factors in your life? Did you move? Change classes? Or another boyfriend maybe? Could you say they're intertwined with your change of heart?"

I bite my lip, humming at her words.

"I did get an internship back then as you know- and met my ex awhile later."

"Right your ex- Theo. You've told me so much about him already- but did he also have a say in how you acted around certain people or in some scenarios?"

"I guess? We went to these dinner parties and other fancy places. We'd meet these business partners of his mother and other wealthy people. I had to essentially play the role of a perfect girlfriend."

"Would you say it made you act more 'aware' of yourself and your actual real personality?"

"I just remember feeling so exhausted and empty after getting home or to our hotel room. Like my soul was sucked out of me or something. It was even worse when he'd started yelling at me for certain things I did, or he'd say that some stupid businessman wasn't liking my attitude or some dumb stuff. I very much argued with him the first couple of times, then I just started taking it like some constructive criticism. It wasn't like that at all though. When our relationship was plastered on the news everywhere- I remember feeling even worse, and to read the opinions of strangers. Those opinions that were already drilled into my mind by own partner- it just got worse."

I explain, fidgeting with the fabric of my trousers. My nails scratching them harshly, feeling my palms get clammy.

"Right- and with your current relationship now- do you see this happen as well?" She says, her voice softening.

"Not at all, I feel the total opposite. Like I can do or say whatever I want with him- and I can. I don't feel like I have to perform or have a fake personality."

"But you'd said you feel the same as in not wanting it to be revealed to the public. He's a footballer if I recall correctly?"

"He is- I just feel like it'll be the same reaction from the public- mean and judgmental."

She hums, fixing her glasses, repositioning them higher on her nose bridge.

"Let's say you have to make a really important decision. Who do you consult? The people closest to you or complete strangers."

"The people closest to me obviously."

"Then you'd have to put it that way, you don't care about the opinions of strangers in personal critical moments- then you shouldn't be allowing their criticism get to you in that critical moment. For example, your relationship being revealed." She finishes, looking at me with a smile on her face.

I stare at her, letting her words sink in. Them clicking like puzzle consisting of a thousand pieces.

I lean back, letting go of my pen, cradling my cramping hand close to me. Ink smudged all over my palm, the corners of the used pages curled up and wrinkled as my eyes dart over the page again.

I had to admit, taking out your frustration and anxiety on paper was insanely relieving and calming. My therapist had recommended it in our last session, and so far I was liking it.

I had four sessions with her so far, and the wisdom the woman had given me was so obvious, but never actually happened to cross my own mind. I was so happy we formed a connection instantly. Especially, since I barely had the mental capacity to look for another therapist.

My glowing laptop screen allows me to see the paper better, as the sun had set awhile ago. The recent emails from my lawyer staring right back at me.

My lawyer had emailed me concerning the break-in. It already felt like a while ago, making me look back at the traumatic incident again. He had given me updates about the case. The police did have camera footage from a nearby shop, which they heavily used to try to identify the guy. Jail time wouldn't be considered, if the intruder was a first offender they'd probably let him go with a fine.

This wasn't the biggest problem, as the only thing I actually wanted was for Theo to get what he'd deserved. The intruder would probably give some bullshit excuse and get off- making me practically lose my mind out of anger. I wanted to put it behind me already, but the fact that Theo would also be let off infuriated me.

My journal now- was scribbled full of my worries. I had written about six full pages, fighting the urge to just scratch out entire pages out of frustration.

I turn off my laptop, rubbing my eye tiredly. I connect my charger to my laptop, and grab my phone. Blowing out the half used vanilla scented candle on my vanity.

I check the time, reading a unnoticed notification. My parcel- or parcels would arrive, brightening up my mood a little.

One thing I had learnt in life was; shopping won't solve the problem, but it definitely will distract you from it- at least for a moment. I'd open the package for the split of second serotonin and that was enough.

The sound of the intercom ringing had me standing up immediately. I run to my door, half tripping on one of my shoes, which I had lazily left there, before checking the cameras and letting the delivery man in and switching on the lights.

The sight of my appearance in the mirror makes me cringe. Not that the delivery man hadn't seen me like this before. I had been insanely busy with work lately and with the ongoing case and the dating rumors. It was honestly taking a toll on me already. I knew it was partially my fault, I could just let go of the case and stop worrying about dating rumors. At the end of the day they weren't things I actually had control over, but it got more frustrating knowing that I didn't have any control in both situations.

I had checked social media- sneakily, redownloading the apps, using my quickly made fake account as I scrolled through the gossip pages.

Most of the reactions were trying to figure out who the "A list footballer" in question was. My heart had skipped a beat when I read Virgil's name, but I had panicked and shut my phone immediately- you couldn't stress me out on the phone I was paying for.

I was still trying to half keep up with my strategy of ignoring the problem, but I slowly started to feel like the problem itself. I promised myself things, just to not even follow up to those promises.

I open my door as I hear a knock, checking the peephole for a second and grabbing the door handle.

"Hi." I greet, grabbing the two big parcels from the poor, all too familiar man.

Shit, maybe I did have a problem...

"You've been buying too many things young lady." He replies, adjusting the cap on his head.

I chuckle embarrassed, setting down the packages next to me on the floor.

"I'm sorry sir, will try to minimize my shopping. Would you like anything? A drink?" I say, smiling at him. I felt bad for the man, even though he was just doing his job.

"No, I'm alright. Have a good evening." He says smiling and turning away, as he presses on the elevator button.

I watch him leave, the elevator door opening with a sound. To my surprise, I see Virgil walking out of it. His face partially covered by his scarf and a black beanie on his head as he walks up to me. Greeting the delivery man kindly.

"Is that the delivery man? He was here last Monday as well wasn't he?" He asks, pointing behind him as he stands in front of me.

I step back, kicking the parcels out of the way and opening the door wider to let him in.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, ignoring him flaming my shopping addiction, now a little self- conscious of my appearance, trying to cover my face with my hoodie. He'd shown up without word many times, only not when I- or the house looked like a dumpster fire.

"Missed my girl." He says, voice deep as he clicks his tongue, stepping into my house and grabbing my wrist to close the door behind me.

"You saw me at work, literally like four hours ago."

"And?" He asks, pressing a kiss to my cheek. His hands going up to remove his scarf and jacket, hanging them on the rack.

"You could've called- I look like this." I say, pointing at my appearance.

"And the house is a mess." I add, sighing.

"And?" He says again, his hands coming up to my shoulders. His brown eyes staring back into mine.

I sigh, shaking my head at him, a soft smile forming on my lips.

"Have you eaten dinner yet?"

I shake my head, his eyes darting to the parcels on the floor.

"How about you show me what you bought this time and I'll order dinner?" He suggests, running his thumb softly on my cheekbone.

"Can I pick?"

"Of course."

"Okay- ready?" She shouts, walking into the living room. A black mini-dress on her body, ending right in the middle of her thighs. The square neckline giving it the right amount of sexy, the back still unzipped clumsily.

She walks up to Virgil, who's sitting on her sofa. Man-spreading comfortably as he looks her up and down, his tatted arm folded on his other one, up to his chest.

"Can you zip the back?" She asks, turning her back to him as he stands up with a low hum. His fingers ghosting her skin as he plays with the zipper.

"Turn for me love." He mutters, close to her ear.

She turns facing him, adjusting the dress and smoothing down the fabric. It accentuating her body perfectly.

"How is it?" She asks, following his eyes roaming her body.

A low hum leaves his lips, his hand coming to wrap around her waist, other hand traveling down to her behind, pulling her closer.

"Where are you going in this?" He murmurs, longing eyes on hers.

"I'm getting drinks with Clara and Sofia tomorrow. Why? Is it- bad?" She asks, voice in a whisper. A hand fidgeting with the fabric, feeling unsure.

"No, you look too good." He whispers lowly, squeezing her waist delicately.

"Really?" She smiles, face lightning up immediately as her eyes roam over his face.

"Now I'll have to worry about my girl being taken from me." He worries, his hand coming up to his chin, as if to ponder.

She rolls her eyes playfully, tapping his arm repeatedly.

"Like you take off your shirt in front of camera's before asking me. You get thirsted over by the entire internet, let me have this." She tuts, fluttering her eyelashes in an animated way.

"Oh I will. Only after this."

He says, raising his brows, lifting her up and throwing her onto the sofa carefully. His fingers digging into the fabric of her dress as he tickles her.

"Okay! Stop, you know I'm ticklish." She exclaims, tears forming in her eyes from laughter. Struggling to hold his hand back. He listens, pulling back and hovering over her body.

"I also got matching heels." She breathes out, escaping out of his hold, and grabbing the shoe box off the table. She grabs the heels out of the box, turning towards him. The diamond buckles and details glistening in the overhead light.

He walks up to her, grabbing the heels and bending down. She leans forward, placing her hands on his broad shoulders, pushing her weight on him to balance herself.

He unbuckles the heels, slipping them onto her feet and buckling them up again.

"Thank you." She says, letting go of him and watching him stand back up.

"Do a little twirl for me love." He suggests, watching her intently as she does. A low whistle leaving his lips. His hands traveling down to the small of her back.

"Can you skip the drinks with the girls and just come over to mines instead." He says, eyes flashing with lust and desire.

She laughs, shaking her head as her hand comes to pat his arm.

"Nope, I can come over after though?" She teases, already trying to wiggle out of his hold as a joke.

He opens his mouth to reply, but the sound of the intercom makes them remember the food delivery.

"I'll change!" She shouts, already running back to her room. He watches her leave surprised, his tongue running over his cheek annoyed before he gets the door.

"Good food always makes me sleepy." She mumbles, her head in his lap. Thankful for their stomachs being full and satisfied.

He runs his fingers down her face, his thumb smoothing down her eyebrows, moving down to other facial features, humming in agreement.

"What is it? What are you thinking of?" She asks, noticing how quiet he is, looking up him.

"Just thinking." He mumbles, looking distracted.

"About?"

"Us."

She huffs, poking his firm abdomen.

"Tell me." She say impatiently.

He clicks his tongue, finally making eye contact with her.

"I just came from speaking to my agent. Talked about us with the publicist."

"What did they say?" She asks, sitting up, facing him.

He shifts, his hand coming up to squeeze her shoulder. Looking at her with a serious expression.

She furrows her brows, looking confused.

"You're worrying me. Tell me, come on." She urges fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, trying to read his face.

"They told me that there was an article released this morning- about us, with pictures." He explains, trying to soothe her with soft caresses on her cheek.

Her eyes go wide, her grip on his shirt tightening as she gasps. Her heart starting to thump excessively faster in her chest.

"They- know?" She stutters, blinking repeatedly, feeling panic surge up her body.

"I'm sorry baby." He whispers, looking at her, his hand traveling to her nape to soothe her further.

"What did it say?" She asks, millions of thoughts running through her mind.

"It was about our date back home, in Amsterdam. Pictures of us getting into the car." He explains, voice softer than usual.

"Did they identify me too?" She asks, hoping it wasn't the case.

To her horror he nods, trying to calm her down with soft shushes.

"Normally, they wouldn't be able to identify you this fast, but the article mentions the blind item and- that piece of shit. So, they put two and two together, and probably bought the rights to some pictures secretly taken by someone who approached them."

She breathes out shakily, letting go of his shirt and looking away. Her eyes noticeably full of worry and panic.

"What are you worried about love?" He coaxes, continuing to run his thumb on her cheek.

"What people would think and say." She mutters, tears accumulating in her eyes.

"Why does that matter to you?" He asks, voice as calm as possible to not disturb the fact that she's taking in the privacy violating news.

"Last time, it was bad- like really really really-"

"Hey, it's alright. You've got me this time. I'll make sure with my agent and publicist that it won't be bad. Besides, you know our supporters won't care right? The criticism will come from strangers at the end of the day. Why should we string importance to what they say?" He says, trying to calm her down with his words.

"I just keep thinking about those comments from the past, they still hurt." She says, voice cracking unpleasantly.

"I understand that love. Let's just stay off of our phones, yeah? We'll figure it out together, I promise."

"I'm not some gold digging bitch or whore-" she whispers, tears twinkling in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill and holding her feelings back. Like a dam trying to keep its ragging waters back, a crack forming at its base. Threatening the very purpose of it.

"You're not those things. It's alright sweetheart, I'll take care of it yeah?" He promises, practically boiling on the inside. The fact that anyone could call his sweet girlfriend those words, making him both mad and his heart ache for her.

She sighs, remembering her conversation with her therapist again. Why care about the opinions of people whom you don't value, right?

"Well what about work? They'll look at me weirdly. Oh my god- how am I going to look at them in their faces." She groans, placing her head into the crook of his neck, now straddling him.

"Why are you embarrassed of me?" He says, trying find some humor to cheer her up, even if it's just a bit. 

"No, of course not! It just looks like I got the job to fuck one of their players-" she exclaims, frustration gnawing at her.

"Alright, alright I get it. Let's take it step by step hm?" He suggests, making her look at him again.

"HR and Klopp already know. It's not like the players are fully unaware of something going on between us, you're aware of the little bet the younger guys have on us, right?"

She nods, biting on her lip as she still cringes at the thought of it being officially known by the club.

"That means they're fine with it. I promise." He assures, running his hand up and down her back.

"If HR and Klopp are fine with it, other staff will be okay with it too. No worrying needed love."

She sighs, placing her head onto his chest. Pondering over every single thing he'd just said.

Thinking of having to face her worst nightmare tomorrow. Something she'd dreaded since they started dating. She could only ignore and dismiss her problems until a certain amount of time, then she'd obviously have to face them, eventually.

“Did I at least look good in those pictures?”

[thetrickster-blr-blog]

ANARKY (Beware The Batman)

This is my own redraw of Anarky from the "Beware The Batman" cartoon. While I know everyone has their own opinions on the show (or don't know it exists), I will admit that it has always been one of my favorite Batman shows. One of the most polarizing things about the show is its inclusion of obscure Batman villains like Professor Pyg & Magpie and using them as placeholders for villains that the studio wouldn't allow them to use. And though I certainly am one to be critical of vast departures in comic-to-screen adaptations, I am willing to forgive certain decisions if they make sense or at least have good reasoning. Case in point: The show's depiction of Anarky.

I will admit that this is kind of a terrible Anarky. He's not a politically conscious teenage anti-hero/anti-villain who masquerades as an adult to further his political rebellion and has an on/off relationship with the Bat Family. Instead, he's basically the show's answer to The Joker, whom the studio wasn't allowed to use due to studio mandates. And while I normally wouldn't be so forgiving of such a change to a character that I like and respect, I am willing to accept it if what they make is at least good. And while this isn't a good Anarky, IT IS A GREAT VILLAIN. One thing I like so much about this Anarky is that they basically made him the "Anti-Batman". He dresses in a nearly accurate costume to Batman's, save for it having a hood, an "A" as its symbol, and being entirely white. He even has similar gadgets, though made to kill people as opposed to Batman's non-lethal gadgets. He's also a master combatant who can hold his own against Batman (He was basically the proto Nemesis). I also like how they use him as a Joker placeholder while still making him his own character. Instead of being a maniacal mass-murdering cartoon villain dressed in a purple tuxedo, he's a much more reserved and calculated mastermind who often manipulates others into unknowingly doing his bidding; like when he tricked Batman and Lady Shiva into nearly unleashing an epidemic or when he teamed up with Harvey Dent to take down Batman, which led to the latter getting scarred and becoming Two-Face. He's also not clown-themed in any way, instead going for more of a Chess theme with him as the "White King" and Batman as the "Black King". I also really like his portrayal by Wallace Langham. Instead of being a very off-the-wall over-the-top hammy performance, he's soft-spoken and mellow, but with hints of malice behind his voice. He kind of sounds like Neil Patrick Harris if he had Schizophrenia. Anarky barely ever loses his cool and hardly ever raises his voice, which adds to his menace.

That's all I have to say really. What are your opinions of "Beware The Batman" or this version of Anarky?

[about-faces]

Hi, I want to read some DC comics about how Harvey transformed from former DA to the criminal mastermind who ruled half of Gotham's Underworld (against the Penguin). I've already read/seen: Two-Face: A Celebration of 75 Years Batman: The Long Halloween Batman: Dark Victory (1999) Batman '89 Batman: The Animated Series Batman: The Audio Adventures

Any other reading recommendations? Thanks a lot for your help. :)

So you're looking for origin stories, or at least ones that shed more light on Two-Face's origin? Well first off, I'm glad you read the 75th Anniversary collection, because that has three of my very favorites: the original Harvey Kent trilogy from 1942-43, the Grace Dent story from Secret Origins Special (1989), and "Eye of the Beholder" from Batman Annual #14 (1990).

Besides those, and the ones you've listed, here are a few others to check out. Some are great, some are mixed bags, and some are downright lousy.

First and foremost, I STRONGLY recommend the 1989 Batman newspaper comic strip, which I loved so much that I posted the whole two-year saga on its own tumblr account. You can start from the very beginning right here, but keep in mind that Harvey's storyline--which runs all the way to the very last strip--doesn't really start until the second arc.

Next, Batman: Dual to the Death by Geary Gravel is a YA novelization of the BTAS origin, seamlessly combined with the two-part Batgirl origin episodes. It improves on both the animated versions in small but crucial ways, and it's highly recommended for BTAS fans. Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to find.

On a similar note, Peter David's movie novelization of Batman Forever can be found more easily, either in used book form or on the Internet Archive, and it's absolutely worth reading. I love the movie of Batman Forever, but it's objectively a terrible take on Harvey. The novelization adds SO MUCH, including an original prequel scene with D.A. Harvey Dent, and his ending is far more satisfying.

Cartoon Network's CGI animated series Beware the Batman (2013) also features a series-long origin arc for Harvey Dent, but it's one of the worst takes I've ever seen on the character. He's a petty, selfish, ambitious little prick, an absolute scumbag, completely devoid of depth or tragedy. Thankfully, few have seen this arc, since the majority of Harvey's episodes were never aired after the series was cancelled, but they're all available to watch for those morbidly curious to see just how badly someone can screw up Harvey as a character.

"The Big Burn" from Batman and Robin, vol 2 #24-28 (2014), also collected in B&R volume 5. After the huge DC reboot, this was Harvey new origin, which tried some very different things with him. A VERY mixed bag, but one that ended in a hugely exciting way that makes the whole thing worth reading. Follow it up with its sequel, "Ugly Heart," from Detective Comics #1020-1024, collected in Detective Comics Vol 5: Joker War.

Finally, watch the entirety of the recently-released/cancelled CW series Gotham Knights, with Misha Collins performing a surprisingly rich, interesting, and flawed Harvey Dent origin arc. The show got a lot of shit, some of it undeserved, but Collins' Harvey was an intriguing surprise, and I fear nothing we see from Harvey in any Reevesverse media will bring half as much care and interest to Harvey as GK did, for better or worse. All 13 episodes can be watched for free on CW Seed, region permitting.

EDIT: Oh right also the Telltale Batman video game! I haven't actually played that yet because I know enough about what happens and the illusion of meaningful choice indicative of Telltale games that I just don't feel like putting myself through that. People seem to like it a lot, though! I just... don't put me in a position of choosing to save either Harvey or Selina if you're just going to cheat and have him go evil anyway.

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 10

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’ve been counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. Today, we’ve officially reached the Top 10! TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “Change is everything.” Number 10 is…Two-Face.

How fitting is it we’re covering this villain’s origins on the 22nd? XD Anyway, I had a hard time choosing between this and “Feat of Clay.” Both are actually extremely similar in a lot of ways: both are two-part story arcs, both feature the origins of great villains in Batman’s Rogues Gallery – great villains whose appearances were teased in earlier stories, no less – and both feature great animation and an exceptionally dark, at times almost horror-movie-esque, tone. Not only that, but even the plots of these episodes bear some noticeable similarities! With that said, the animated series definitely provided the best take on Harvey Dent we’ve ever gotten, at least outside of comics themselves. In previous episodes – specifically the series pilot, “On Leather Wings,” and Poison Ivy’s debut, “Pretty Poison” – we’d already met Harvey Dent and gotten to know him a bit. We knew he was Gotham’s rather well-liked district attorney, we knew he and Batman had a sort of rivalry going on, and we also knew that he and Bruce Wayne were best friends. All these facts made the events of this two-parter all the more disturbing, because we had gotten to know Harvey pretty well. In this two-parter, it’s revealed that Harvey secretly suffers from some mental issues, and has a second personality inside him, referred to as “Big Bad Harv.” This second personality is all of Harvey’s repressed anger and bitterness, refined into one diabolical, snarly, cruel beast. When the DA gets too close to the schemes of crime boss Rupert Thorne, Thorne’s minions capture Harvey, and in the chaos that ensues, the DA’s face and body are horrifically disfigured. This causes Harvey to snap and become the supervillain Two-Face: a deranged gangster who vows to get revenge on Thorne, and make Gotham his own stomping ground in the process. Harvey/Two-Face was voiced by the late Richard Moll, who – like many actors in later years – would reprise the role many times in other takes on the character. Like Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy, Moll cemented the character and became the definitive interpretation. He is so wonderful as the vulnerable, tragic Harvey Dent, while his gravelly, gruff, snarly voice for Two-Face has become the gold standard which all other versions (at least in animation) seem to try and live by. Two-Face, himself, has always been one of Batman’s most tragic and personal enemies, and the Animated Series didn’t hold back on that front. Not only do the events of this story scar Harvey for life – both physically and mentally – but they also take a heavy toll on Bruce himself. This two-parter is magnificent not only because of how well it handles a great villain, but because of Batman’s role in the story, as well. In a lot of the villain introductions of the show, Batman is sort of a secondary player, in a way: the focus is either just on him trying to stop the villain in question, or on the villain’s descent into darkness. This episode not only gives us both those elements, but it also gives us great character moments for Batman himself, as he has to struggle with the guilt and sorrow that comes with seeing one of his best friends become one of his most formidable opponents. We got bits and pieces of this kind of thing in other stories, of course, but “Two-Face” – perhaps because it has more time to manage things – really goes all out. This isn’t just a great episode for Two-Face himself, but a great episode for Batman as well. It’s for this reason, I think that I decided to rank this higher than “Feat of Clay.” There’s no doubt in my mind that it belongs in my Top 10.

Tomorrow we move on with Number 9! Hint: “So, it wasn’t all for nothing.”

[thealmostgoodartist]

How Not Help Your Favorite Hero— a Guide by Tim Drake

I just updated my fic yesterday night… but then ao3 crashed which meant not a lot of people got to see the update! So, here are the first 3 (around 3,000 words) chapters.

Rating: T (for language, blood, and themes.)

warnings for major character death (aka. This is based on that one interactive movie in which Bruce dies instead of Jason).

Relationship: Tim & Jason, and Dick & Clark

Summary: The one in which Dick tries to hold his family together, Tim hates cardio, and Jason kidnaps a “whole child”

enjoy.

—-

He could call.

It wouldn't take much.

He had memorized the phone number of the manor just a few days after he had started living there.

He could call.

Barbara would track his phone number and he would be on his way back home.

Home…

He hadn’t thought of the manor as home for months now, but if Dick had been trustful— and he seldom wasn’t— it still could be. Dick had said there would be no repercussions— that they were only looking to rehabilitate him and integrate him back into the family— but Jason knew better. 

The damned spot couldn’t be washed out.

He had a plan. He had to stick to the plan. It was already too late to go back. 

The alarm beeped bringing him out of his mental slumber and he arose from his bed. He hadn’t slept at all— he hadn’t slept since Bruce died— but he didn’t feel tired. He didn’t feel much those days, but he had to keep pushing. He was so close, even though his list of names kept getting longer. 

It would be all worth it in the end.

He had lost so much time planning for Two-Face— and he had had it! It would have been so easy to just pull the trigger if it hadn’t been for that kid— but now Harvey Dent was back in police custody. He now had to re-plan his execution for when he inevitably escaped from Arkham and maybe have to move some of the less important ones a few months—

It would cause some shifts in his overall schedule but it could be achieved.

—-

Jason had eyes on the creepy doll. 

Bruce had always said that the thing wasn’t demonic and that it was just the user projecting into the dummy. Jason wasn't too sure about that, and just in case he had brought extra ammunition for his precision rifle. 

The setup was ready and it was just a matter of time waiting for the perfect shot—

“Robin,” a voice called from somewhere behind him, and Jason almost turned around to tell B to “fuck off” and to let him work except….

B had been dead for six months now.

Jason felt the air rushing out of his lungs and a warm sting begin to form behind his eyes.

He had been over it. That's what killing Joker had been about. He had gotten his revenge. 

It should have been enough.

Why wasn’t it enough?

“Robin,” the voice called again, and it took a moment for Jason’s brain to reboot and finally notice that it wasn’t the voice wasn’t the low, rough-sounding one he had expected, but that of a kid.

“Spooky kid?” Jason said having had turned around and taken in the sight of the ten-year-old that had stopped him from killing Two Face. 

For two days, Jason had been seething over the fact, but now that he was face to face with the kid again he— well he didn’t know what he was feeling, but it wasn’t anger. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

The kid looked at him with the most determined face Jason had ever seen in someone so young and promptly pointed at the rifle.

“Robin, you have to be strong. Batman—“

“Yeah, no shit. You said the same thing in our last meeting,” Jason said, standing up from his crouched position and making his way over to the kid. “I mean what the fuck are you doing at 3 a.m. on a rooftop in the fucking Narrows?  How— why?”

“I followed you,” the kid said bluntly.

And that somehow didn’t make Jason feel any better.

“How did you follow me?” 

“I figured out what your most likely target would be.”

Jason decided to ignore the significance of what the kid said and instead turned his attention back to the scene below. If he didn’t take the shot soon, he would lose his chance and that would mean even more planning. But the kid—

Shit.

The kid.

He couldn’t just shoot someone in front of the kid— he had probably seen stuff like that before (this was Gotham after all) but still—

“Go home, kid.”

“No, Robin-“

“Go home, kid.”

“Jason!”

“What the fuck did you just call me?” Jason asked, his blood running cold.

The kid looked sheepish, but he didn’t falter under Jason’s glare.

“Jason,” he repeated, “this isn’t you.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You are not doing this out of any sense of Justice—“

“Are you going to tell me he isn’t deserving of this? He is the Ventriloquist—“

“Yes, he might deserve it, but it wasn’t like are not doing this because he deserves it. You are doing this because you are hurt.”

Jason felt a gut punch.

“How do you even know that?”

“I’ve been following you.”

And Jason had so many questions but the kid just continued—

“I know what happened to Bruce— gosh, I know how much he meant to you— but this isn’t the way. It isn’t what he would have wanted.”

—-

Being kidnapped was honestly a way better outcome than what Tim had expected. When he had stepped in the first time, he had just expected to get shot immediately but things had turned out pretty well. 

Now, he had successfully stopped tie assassinations attempts and it wasn’t like anyone was going to miss him if he was gone for a bit longer.

The last time he had been kidnapped it hadn’t been for more than a week and his capturers had let him go after finding out there was no way to contact his parents for a ransom. Tim didn’t expect the Bats to hold him for too long.

Tim tried to not show too much excitement from where he was sitting down next to the Batcomputer as Nightwing— dressed as Batman— and Red Robin fought in hushed tones.

“That’s a whole child, Jason.” Dick was saying.

“Yes, and now he is your problem,” Jason said as he turned around and started making his way over to his motorcycle.

“Where are you going?” Dick yelled.

“Back to my safe house.”

“You should stay. We will talk more in the morning.”

“No way,” he said putting his helmet on, “I brought you the security problem, now I get to leave.”

The loud roar of the bike filled the cave, but just as suddenly as it had started it was gone.

Nightwing turned around and stared at Tim.

Tim stared back.

chapter 2:

“I told you this was going to happen!” The little kid barked at him.

“And I told you l would solve it,” Dick said removing his cowl, already feeling the beginning of another stress headache bubbling up in his skull.

“When I found you months ago,” the kid continued, taking no notice of his predicament, “I told you that Robin was changing. I told you that he needed your help, but you said that Robin was doing ok—“

“So, then what? You just decided you were gonna follow him?”

“It wouldn’t have been the first time—“

“We can’t afford to have civilians get involved in the line of work that we do. Especially not ten-year-olds.”

“I’m almost thirteen—“

“That doesn’t make it any better, kid—“

“I don’t want to cause any trouble. As soon as you help Jason, I’m out of here,” the kid said in earnest, “I promise. Just— Gotham needs Robin.”

Dick looked at the kid incredulously and was about to continue the pointless argument when a noise on the stairwell leading to the house caught his attention.

He turned his head to see Alfred coming down the stairs.

His mind raced for a way to explain the stranger in the Batcave, but before he could conjure up an explanation, Alfred broke the silence.

“What’s your name?” He asked the kid, uncharacteristically cold.

“It’s not important—“ 

“I asked for your name.”

The kid hesitated, but his resolve was broken quickly under Alfred’s glare.

“Timothy Drake, sir.”

“Wait,” Dick said, his brain recognizing the name from years prior, “As in our neighbor?”

The kid looked away, as Dick studied his face for any recognizable features.

And yup, that was the kid he had seen at the Wayne galas.

“Just—“

—-

Go home, kid.

The words resonated in his head just as his steps bounced back to him upon the once-pristine floors of Drake Manor.

He had avoided the house as much as possible ever since his father had fallen into a coma. He had spent the days next to his father’s hospital bed and the nights following Red Robin across Gotham.

He had expected that the time away from the place would have made him more sentimental toward it, but he guessed that that would have required an initial emotional connection. He felt nothing towards the place. No good memories were hiding in the walls, only the remnants of a lonely childhood.

The only reason he was back was that Mr. Pennyworth had offered to drive him to his home and he had thought it would have been impolite to decline.

He wished he had.

This place wasn’t home.

Home was the streets of Gotham when he would follow Batman and Robin.

Home was what Robin had back at Wayne Manor.

And Robin was good and thus he deserved his home.

Tim would make sure.

He just had to push a bit harder, and everything would be alright again.

Tim was sure.

—-

“Fuck off.”

“Jason, please—“

“I don’t need your help—“

“I’m not saying you need my help… just please come back home, little wing.” Said Dick in the same tone he had always used whenever he was trying to calm someone. It was brutally honest and it had always been something that Jason had tried to imitate. Dick was good at talking to people. It made Jason want to believe him.

But no.

No.

He had a plan…

It would make things better. 

For everyone. 

There would be no more need for vigilantes once he was done. 

No more need and no more deaths and no more pain.

He turned away, unable to meet Dick’s gaze even with the cowl on. 

Dick tried to say something, but his words were stifled by the sound of Jason’s grapple gun firing.

 Jason flew away as Dick screamed after him, desperate. Yet, Jason couldn’t turn back. He had to keep going. Dick might not have seen it, but Jason knew soon he would understand. 

After all, he was doing it all for them.

He was an outsider— he had always been ever since Bruce had taken him in— but that wouldn’t stop him from trying to fix things for them— for the family that Bruce had created. He owed him that. 

After all, he was the Robin that got Batman killed.

He landed on the rooftop with a muffled thud.

The impromptu meeting with Dick had messed up his schedule slightly. He was supposed to already be down by the docks. Maybe if he hurried he could still make it before the shipment—

“Robin,”

Shit.

Not again.

He had hoped that a meeting with fucking Batman would be enough to deter the kid, but alas, Spooky kid was back— great. 

Jason turned around to continue his argument with the child—

He burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, what the fuck are you wearing?” He managed to say between wheezes and giggles.

“Robin,” the kid said in the most serious tone Jason had ever heard, looking at him with a scowl that could rival Batman’s. 

Jason was tempted to stop laughing, but one look at the kid— dressed in dark clothes, with knee and elbow pads and a Batman helmet— send him into another wave of hysterics.

He hadn’t laughed in quite a while and it felt… it felt good.

“Ok, kid,” he said, finally managing to calm down, “what are you doing?”

“I am here to help you—“

“Pardon me?”

“I’m here to help you.”

“How— why are you dressed like that?”

“To help you,”

Jason looked at him confused trying to figure out how the two things were correlated.

“I am going to be your sidekick.”

“What? No.” 

Was this kid actually insane?

“You are like ten! You can’t be a vigilante.”

“Yes I can,” the kid said, crossing his arms, “and I’m almost thirteen!”

“I don’t care you are ‘almost thirteen’!” Jason said, unable to believe he was fighting a child, “you can’t just— no.”

“Why not? You started at this age too—“

“I had training!”

“I have proven myself to be a good enough detective to figure out Bruce Wayne was Batman—“

“That’s not—“

“And I have been following you around for years and you haven’t even noticed!”

What?

“What?”

His phone buzzed, and he took it out to see a notification. The shipment had arrived. He wouldn’t make it in time.

If the kid had just—

He took a deep breath, trying to drown the rising anger. The kid couldn’t have known.

First Dick and now this! How much worse could his day get?

He took another breath.

“Why? Just why?”

The kid looked at him and for the first time, Jason noticed a deep anger in his eyes.

“You are going to get yourself killed.”

Jason fought the urge to roll his eyes. What did this kid even know? How could he look so convinced saying such lies? He must have known he sounded insane. He didn’t even know Jason, so how could he judge?

“Jason listen to me!”

Against his better judgment, he did.

“The path you are on will lead to nothing but your destruction. You can’t keep doing this— you can’t. You are acting irrationally. You are taking unnecessary risks and you are hurting not only yourself but everyone else who stands in your path.

“Gotham needs Robin. We already lost Batman, we can’t lose you too. If he kept us safe, you gave us hope, Jason. You need to be strong.”

And then, he wished he hadn’t.

“I thought Dick would be able to deal with you,” Jason said.

“He wouldn’t listen,” the kid said, sounding irritated, “So, I am your problem now. I am doing this either with your help or without it.”

“Where are your parents?”

“It’s complicated,” he said, “will you train me or not?”

Chapter 3

Bruce would have been so disappointed—

“I trained you better than this,” he would have said.

“I thought you would have done better,” he would have said.

And maybe, for once, Dick would have admitted he was right without arguing back.

Because he knew that if he had just stopped and looked like that small part of his brain was screaming for him to do… he would have noticed.

He would have noticed that Jason’s smile never reached his eyes; that he hadn’t cried once; that he was not sleeping; that he was not eating; that he was spending too long in the Batcave; that he was too eager to return to patrol… and that he wasn’t healing.

But maybe he had noticed… maybe he had noticed and decided it was easier to do nothing. Maybe he had thought that the problem would go away if he just ignored it…

This was his fault. He should have been there. He should have done something! Anything!  

Jason had been in pain— it had completely overflown him just looking for a way to be released— but Dick hadn’t noticed. Or at least, he hadn’t been able to notice. There had been so much to do— so much to plan… the funeral… The Justice league… Bruce Wayne… Wayne Enterprises… the family…

Batman.

He thought he had it— he thought he was going to be able to hold onto it too— but Jason slipped right off his hand… and he hadn’t begun to try to catch him until it was too late.

Even the neighbor’s kid who lived a few miles away had noticed before him.

Why was he so bad at this?

He should have done better.

He was supposed to be better… but maybe he wasn’t.

“I thought I’d find you here,” said a familiar voice bringing him out of— what Jason had once called— his morose introspection.

He didn’t have to turn around to know the look on Clark’s face— it had been the same ever since he had returned from that mission. It wasn’t judgmental— even though Dick felt it should be— nor was it pitying; it was just kind, and so full of understanding and care and hurt and love and—

And Dick didn’t know how the man could still stand so hopeful even after the last six months.

“What are you doing here, Clark?” Dick said, hoping the alien with super-hearing wouldn’t notice the way his voice wavered. 

“There was a Justice League meeting today—“

“Shit,” he said, “I— I had it marked and everything! I don’t know how I forgot— I promise I really tried to make it this time—“

“Dick, stop.”

And he did.

“Can you take that cowl off? Please?”

Suddenly there was a warm hand on his shoulder, and any argument he had begun to think of died immediately.

He took off his cowl and finally turned to meet the man.

The look he has expected was right there painted on his face and Dick felt the world begin to tear apart.

“Kid—“ Clark began and the world completely came apart. The ground opened and Dick was falling and—

The warm hand on his shoulder pulled him towards a warm body and Dick was enveloped in one of the best hugs he could ever remember receiving.

He buried his head in Clark’s shoulder, and he couldn’t help the sob that escaped his body as Clark did his best to comfort him. 

He hadn’t cried in front of anyone since the funeral. Everyone had been hurting and they needed him and it had just felt unnecessary to plaster his emotions onto others. He had done a great job at it too… or at least he had thought he had. Jason proved to be an argument against that point.

“I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing,” he said after what felt like an eternity.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” Clark asked, “Or anyone? Dick, you have so many people that care about you and would have been here to help you. Rao, Wally won’t stop asking me to check on you since you’ve been ignoring his calls.”

“Not on purpose!” Dick responded, “I thought I had it! I thought I could handle this on my own— and I part of me still thinks I should…  this is not what Bruce would have done— it not what Batman—“

“Kid, you are not Batman.”

Dick pulled away feeling indignant.

“What do you mean?” He asked angrily.

“You are not Batman,” Clark repeated as it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Bruce would have never wanted you to be Batman. He wanted you to be better— and you are! Your biggest strength lies in accomplishing what Bruce could never do: you were able to let go. That darkness he relished on? You do not have that. And that makes you so admirable and I’m sure anyone that knows you would say the same thing. You are Nightwing. You are not Batman and I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to help you—“

“But Gotham needs Batman!”

Clark looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Maybe it doesn’t.” He said.

“What do you mean?”

“Bruce might have been a recluse-weirdo to most people, but he did manage to garner allies.”

Clark made his way over to the Batcomputer and brought up a list of names… a very long list of names.

“These are the ones only in Gotham, but of course, most of the JL, JSA, and the Titans would be more than happy to help. You are not alone here. We will help you keep Gotham safe.”

Clark turned towards Dick.

“You just go find Jason and bring him home.”

“I’ve been trying to do that, but I can’t find him. When I did he just ran away from me. I just hope I can find him before something bad happens.”

—-

“This is most definitely not training!”

“Actually, Spooky Kid, it is training,” Jason argued for what felt like the thousandth time as he slowed his pace again to make sure the kid didn’t faceplant to the floor. Again. 

“If it is training,” the kid said, sounding extremely put together for someone with two scraped knees and who looked like he was about to throw up, “then when do I get to go out on patrol with you?”

“This is literally your first ‘training’, and you have proven yourself incapable of keeping up with me on a slow run.”

“That is only because you are taller than me.”

“It is not my problem that you are short.”

“I am not short. I am a perfectly good height for my age.”

“Yes, but you are ten.”

“I am not ten. I am almost thirteen.”

Jason studied the kid behind him for a moment.

“You see, I am convinced you are lying to me.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44748827

(9 chapters total. Unfinished.)

Chapters 4-6:

[maniacwatchestheworld]

Scarred for Life: The Harvey Dent Story

[From Batman: The Audio Adventures, Season 1 Episode 2 "The Skylight in the Nursery"]

Here is a version of Harvey Dent's backstory (specifically from Batman: the Audio Adventures aka probably my personal favorite iteration of the character). I figured that for anyone newish to Batman fandom, that this might be useful to see! Or well... Hear in this case. Though usually it isn't Penguin who puts him through this, but rather one of Gotham's many, many crime families are usually the ones to disfigure him. Regardless, I hope you enjoy! Personally I just REALLY like Harvey's voice actor here and could listen to him talk all day. ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ა

Also reading through the transcript now and thinking about it... I wonder if the Penguin paid Mr. Pratkins extra to compliment him and say impressive things about him and his casino and lounge to the jury, and more importantly to his crush (Harvey)... Probably, let's be honest.

Video transcript under the cut

Announcer: And now it's Gotham City One's award-winning documentary…

Robin: Aw, yes!

Announcer: Series "Ghosts of Gotham" with your host Jack Ryder. Tonight's episode, "Scarred for Life: The Harvey Dent Story."

Jack Ryder: It's one of Gotham City's most tragic tales. A lion-hearted litigator becomes a fractured fiend. Once a beacon of hope for a brighter Gotham, former district attorney Harvey Dent is now one of the city's most erratic public enemies. As Two-Face, he's believed to run a vast criminal empire within Gotham City. But a canny combination of legal genius and vicious intimidation has thus far allowed him to evade arrest. Harvey Dent was born to a modest household in the Gotham Narrows. His father was a domineering--

Robin: Hey, let's fast-forward to the--

[fast-forward whirring]

Jack Ryder: But all that hope and promise would come to a violent end.

Robin: Yeah, to the that.

Jack Ryder: The date was February 2nd. The place was the old Gotham courthouse. Harvey Dent had shocked the city by finding a witness willing to testify against a prominent Gotham businessman and suspected crime kingpin, none other than Oswald Cobblepot.

[cackling]

Jack Ryder: Some call him the Penguin, though rarely to his face and never more than once. It would have been the biggest conviction of Harvey Dent's storied legal career. Instead, it was the last case he ever tried.

[crowd chatter, gavel thuds]

Harvey Dent: Can you please state your name for the record?

Jackson Pratkins: The name's Jackson Pratkins.

Harvey Dent: Jackson Pratkins, are you also known in the Gotham underworld as the contract killer called Jack Sprat?

Jackson Pratkins: Yeah, that's me. Jack Sprat, by baseball bat, by knife, or gasoline.

[crowd murmurs]

Jackson Pratkins: That was my gimmick. But that's not me no more. I done some bad things, but I want to make it right.

Harvey Dent: That's what we're here to do today, Mr. Pratkins. Now, when did you first accept payment for illegal activities from Oswald Cobblepot?

Jackson Pratkins: I'm sorry, Cobble-who?

Harvey Dent: Oswald Cobblepot. You may know him as the Penguin.

Jackson Pratkins: Oh, the casino man, impresario extraordinaire Oswald Cobblepot. I never met him.

Harvey Dent: You nev--[chuckles] Mr. Pratkins, I remind you you are under oath and in your sworn statement, you detailed numerous criminal transactions initiated by Oswald Cobblepot.

Jackson Pratkins: Oh, you misunderstood. Sure, I said Mr. Cobblepot oughta be in jail 'cause he robs me blind every payday at that socko casino of his. You know Stoveplate Sullivan plays there every Saturday night? Exclusive engagement.

[laughter]

Jackson Pratkins: Beat that, folks.

Harvey Dent: Mr. Pratkins, you are gonna be charged with perjury, and your plea deal will be void unless you tell this court the truth. Isn't it true that you…

Jackson Pratkins: [muttering]

Harvey Dent: Murdered Gotham City Councilman Hubert Wainwright on orders from Oswald Cobblepot?

Jackson Pratkins: [sighs]

Harvey Dent: And isn't it in fact true that Oswald Cobblepot himself was present at the scene of the crime as evidenced by this article of his personal property recovered by the police? This very distinctive custom-made umbrella. One more chance, Mr. Pratkins. Can you testify that this umbrella belongs to the Penguin?

Jackson Pratkins: Well, since you put it that way, hand me that, uh, um-brella, so I can get a better--yeah, thank you, counselor. Oh, yeah, it seems I do remember something about Penguin's special umbrellas. I remember there's a little secret button here on the handle, hard to see, so take a real close look, handsome.

Harvey Dent: What are you--

Jack Ryder: We pause for a moment to warn our viewers that what you are about to see is extremely disturbing. Parental guidance is strongly advised.

Jackson Pratkins: Have an acid spritzer, Dent!

Harvey Dent: Ahh!

Jackson Pratkins: Courtesy of the Penguin!

Woman: Oh, my heavens! The umbrella was booby-trapped.

Man: The district attorney's been--oh, God! Mr. Dent, your face!

Robin: Video pause.

Narrator: The Boy Wonder, wise beyond his years, takes a moment to reflect.

Robin: And just like that, his mind broke clean in two. Makes you wonder if we're all held together on the inside by what we're made of on the outside.

[beatroot-pie]

Yanderes with a darling that is famous please

When I saw this one I gasped, I have writing this one for a while!

Lloyd - (Streamer Y/n)

Lloyd watches all of your streams. He loves using his burner accounts and sending you donations and words of praise so he can see your smile.

He begs you to let him moderate your streams so he can kick out everyone who says things he deems unworthy.

There was one stream where you and a fellow giant creator collab, Lloyd were not excited. He waits for off-camera and watches you like a hawk.

If you ever try to record him he will turn pink and hide his face asking you to stop.

If you are invited to a large streaming convention he will attend with you and gives every fan who asks for photos and autographs a nasty glare.

"Thank you so much Red.Rover69 for the $10 donation! I'll make sure to tell my boyfriend I love him...Lloyd?"

Allan - (Athlete Y/n)

He loves it and hates it. He is so proud that you've made a career of being yourself and sports (his two favorite things).

He tries to keep up to date on any news that uses your name. If there is anything negative he contacts the reporter and pays them to remove it.

Allan attends all of your games and cheers you on as loud as he can.

He never wants to steal your spotlight but he will often try and be in photos with you he needs everyone who you belong to.

He had to buy four more storage extenders for his phone due to him taking pictures of you on the field/court he just finds you so beautiful.

"Oh my God Y/n that play was so cool! When we get home can you show me how to do that??"

Kylie - (Singer Y/n)

She is obsessed with your fame. She loves every camera flash and news article.

She begs you everyday to duet with her on one of your huge stages. If you sing with others she becomes extremely jealous.

When you're home alone together she asks you to sing for her.

There's been multiple times where she tried to steal your moment. She wishes she was the famous one.

She goes to all your performances. She has all of your cds, tour shirts, and every piece of merchandise.

"Think about it babe, you and I on the stage! I- We would be so amazing together! I promise I won't sing over you!"

Harvey - (Actor Y/n)

He doesn't understand your movies. Special effects and crazy makeup is all so weird to him.

He tells you that he doesn't see why people would make you as famous he's lying, you're so gorgeous it would be a crime if you weren't.

Even though he says he hates your movies he only wants to watch them. He likes to see your face change and be dolled up for films.

He hates it when you leave the house. The only day of the year that he can escape to go with you is Halloween, so he follows you around as you attend huge Hollywood parties.

When you go to sleep he goes through your calendars, notes, and emails to see what movie you have coming up. When he sees you are going to be in the a reboot of his favourite movie from the 70s he squeals with joy.

"I can't wait to see Y/n play the hot main character...especially in the locker room scene! I'm going to tease them so badly! I hope they cry"

[elizaviento]

Green on the Vine — Strawberry Wine (Part 3 of ?)

(Stardew Valley — Shane/Female Farmer/OC)

This chapter is rated SFW — 2943 words. Mentions of blood and injury.

(FYI: Additional chapters of Green on the Vine — Strawberry Wine can be found in the Stardew Valley Fic Masterpost link in my blog description.  Or, you can click the #green on the vine strawberry wine tag in this post, within my blog, to access all additional chapters.)

*****

Kristen wasn't sure how she'd managed to make it inside the farmhouse when the last thing she remembered was counting the steps toward the porch as she stumbled toward it from the coop enclosure. Harvey's warm, honey-like voice filtered in through the static, recognizable but speaking utter gibberish. No matter how hard she concentrated, she couldn't make sense of what he said, only that he must be asking a question due to the inflection of his words.

"Harvey?" she managed to ask as his face hovered so close to hers that she could count the flecks in his irises. A second later, large hands tucked under each of her armpits, coaxing her upward from the kitchen tile.

"There she is," Harvey replied. Relief softened his tone, allowing his usual friendly cadence to replace the stern professionalism she referred to as his doctor's voice.

Awareness still felt fuzzy around the edges — soft and nondescript. Floaty, yet her head throbbed, and the world seemed to tilt on its axis with the few wobbly steps she took toward the small kitchen table.

Thudding footfalls echoed through the farmhouse, seeming to pulse in time with the throbbing within her skull. Pacing back and forth, hurried. A door squealed on its rusty hinges, and Kristen immediately recognized the abrupt scrape across hardwood as it stuck without closing fully — the linen closet.

"Who —" she began, scrubbing at her eyes with her uninjured hand as the footsteps backtracked and approached the kitchen.

Shane rounded the corner, towel in one hand and glass of water in the other, his expression grim. He spoke, but Kristen was too preoccupied with remaining upright — so as not to drag Harvey back to the floor with her — to filter what he'd said through the only two brain cells operating at full capacity. 

Once her ass made contact with the solid surface of the oak chair, she slumped and released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. The glass of water Shane placed gingerly on the table called to her like the siren song of some mythical beast, beckoning her to sample its magical concoction, and made her painfully aware that her mouth felt stuffed with sticky cotton.

She nearly gagged when Harvey mentioned juice. She'd consumed enough of the cranberry variety to last her entire life but didn't protest when it was presented in her favorite mug. Despite her initial desire to resist, he was right — the sugar helped to clear her head, and the sobering reality of her situation slammed home with Harvey's casual mention of the possibility of surgery.

And the final topping on the shit sundae?

Shane. The intensity of his gaze sliced through her like a scalpel as he stood in the corner of her humble kitchen. Regret, shame, and unmitigated humiliation saturated every pore of her flesh, staining her cheeks and searing up the nape of her neck. No matter how well she'd convinced herself she knew him, his deadpan expression remained as unreadable as ever.

The second he disappeared through the front door after excusing himself, a strangled sob escaped the farmer's chest. Her body crescented of its own volition, attempting to curl into the fetal position even as she sat upright. Instead, her knees made contact with the underside of the table as her cheek flattened on the cool, rough surface.

"Kristen? Everything alright?"

She hoped that Harvey assumed her irrational fear of needles and blood was the catalyst for such childish behavior. Admitting to the alternative — Shane witnessing her in such a disheveled state — was simply out of the question.

"Yeah. I just — I'm sorry I dragged you all the way out here," she said, squinting her eyes shut as the hooked needle pierced her numbed flesh. Even with the absence of pain, the slow tug and drag of the suture was enough to sprout fresh droplets of cold sweat from her grimy scalp and coat the back of her throat with bile.

"It's my job," the doctor replied, matter-of-fact tone firmly back in place as his brow pinched in concentration. "Try to keep your hand still."

"Sorry."

She hadn't realized she was trembling, but it was just as well. Her teeth also began to chatter despite the stuffy climate of the kitchen, the clack, clack, clack rattling her brain.

❦❧🍓❦❧

Stepping outside onto her front porch, Kristen closed her eyes and tilted her face toward the sun. Earlier that morning, she'd cursed its very existence, but now its comforting warmth seeped through her skin and settled around her bones like insulation. Her right hand was wrapped in gauze so thick that it could be mistaken for a Mickey Mouse glove, and the painkillers Harvey had instructed her to swallow were settling at the base of her spine in the most delightful fashion.

"Keep your hand dry and avoid use as much as possible," Harvey said as he came to stand beside her. She nodded absently and sighed when he added, "I mean it" for good measure.

"When can I take the stitches out?"

" YOU can't," he replied, shooting her a stern look as she shielded her eyes with her good hand and scanned the farmland before her. "Swing by the clinic in a few days, and I'll change the dressing. I want to keep an eye on it. I have a friend in Zuzu — an orthopedic surgeon. She's usually booked for months, but I'll see what I can do."

Another dejected sigh escaped Kristen's chest. She'd spotted Shane through the afternoon glare, hauling an armful of hay from the silo toward the coop, a flock of eager hens close at his heels.

"I'm truly fucked," she groaned. No amount of narcotics could dull the anxiety that sat on her chest at the prospect of being partially incapacitated as summer slowly ebbed into fall.

"I wouldn't say that," Harvey said. He'd removed his glasses and was idly cleaning them with a handkerchief he'd pulled from who knows where. Kristen smiled, his quaint aesthetic plucking at her heartstrings. "You have more friends in the Valley than you realize, farmer."

Shane had disappeared from view, ducking inside the coop. The hole in the fence had mysteriously been patched with the chicken wire Kristen had battled with hours earlier.

Perhaps Harvey was right.

"Does that mean you won't be sending me a bill?" she joked, shooting him a sidelong glance. He didn't even flinch, tucking the handkerchief in the pocket of his slacks and sliding his glasses back into place.

"Don't press your luck."

Kristen spotted a suppressed smirk below his signature mustache and chuckled. The pair had developed an effortless rapport over the years, and she felt comfortable in Harvey's presence enough to unleash her true personality now and then. Relationships like that were few and far between, and she cherished them — held them gently like a fresh hatchling and did her best to nurture them accordingly. It was carefree and easy with people like Harvey, Emily, and even Leah. For people like Shane… considerably more attention and care were required.

"I'll take my leave," Harvey spoke up again after a moment of silence, pulling Kristen from her thoughts. "Don't forget — come by the clinic in a few days."

"Promise," she said, dramatically placing her comically bandaged hand on her heart before adding, "Thanks again, Harvey."

"No thanks needed. Just be more careful. I think you almost gave Shane a heart attack."

Gilt rolled in the farmer's gut, and she shifted her attention back toward the coop as Harvey descended the rickety porch steps and strode toward the property line. She gave him a parting wave and waited until he disappeared down the footpath, gathering her wits.

It had been quite a long time since she had to consciously prepare herself to approach Shane Davis. In the early days, a stray "fuck off," "what do you want now?" or an irritated sigh would sap every drop of joviality from the farmer's body, along with wiping the goofy grin from her face. More than once, she'd berated herself for even trying to befriend someone who clearly hated her guts, but something kept nagging at her. She knew, instinctively, that it wasn't her he hated. It was the world.

The march toward the coop was more gruesome than she'd accounted for. Small puddles of her blood, already dried and cracked by the blazing heat, reminded her of her stupidity and the lives she'd upheaved in the process. Shane had obviously missed work, and it was all her fault. She wondered if calling Morris to apologize on his behalf would be toeing an unspoken boundary…

Skidding the soles of her boots through the dirt to cover the evidence as she went, Kristen approached the coop enclosure and took a closer look at the patched hole. Shane had done an excellent job. Better than what she would have done herself under the excuse that new fencing would be replacing it soon. Just like how she'd ignored the hole in the first place, convincing herself she could stretch it until fall.

Nope — she couldn't approach Shane just yet. She needed more time to wallow in self-pity. Get it out of her system and be done with it. So, she took a slight detour, veering off to the left and toward a mound of freshly turned soil tucked between the small pond and the rock face of her property line. A large stone had been placed atop the mound, the word "Sassafras" scratched on the surface with the blunt blade of her grandpa's old pocket knife.

There hadn't been much to bury — a handful of crimson-soaked feathers at most. But Kristen gathered them up, dug a two-foot deep hole, and dropped them inside regardless.

"You look like hell."

The gruff voice penetrated her thoughts like a torpedo, shattering them into a million unrecognizable pieces. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there, staring through the grave of her hen and straight into a dissociative abyss, but it was long enough for her to sit down cross-legged at its base and unconsciously cradle her bandaged hand to her chest.

Hoping he hadn't noticed her jerk and gasp, she rolled her eyes at her involuntary reaction and twisted her upper body to face him. At this angle, he towered over her, features blackened out by the backdrop of blinding light he obscured from the heavens. 

She was at a loss for words, only then wondering just how horrible of a sight she posed. It hadn't even occurred to her amid the chaos, and she flushed, thanking whatever God that may exist that Harvey hadn't dragged her to Zuzu City Hospital.

"Shane. Shit, I'm so —"

"You're about to say you're sorry. Just don't."

His tone held no malice, and even though she still couldn't make out his face, he extended a hand toward her like an olive branch carried across miles and miles of turbulent sea. Without hesitation, she reached for it, her callused palm slipping smoothly into his before he gripped and pulled, hauling her up from the ground with what felt like zero effort on his part.

Now at eye level, Kristen could clearly see the sheen of sweat glistening across Shane's face and neck, a small patch darkening the collar of his Joja uniform. It must have been stifling in the coop at this time of day. Guilt settled on her chest once more, and she shifted her gaze toward their feet to hide the evidence behind her eyes.

The walk back toward the farmhouse was silent save for the whoosh of blood in Kristen's ears. No matter how much Shane protested, she absolutely did owe him an apology, and she wouldn't let him leave without one.

Now on the porch, he lingered awkwardly just outside the door, even as she entered and held it open for him. Rolling her eyes, she tilted her head, a silent insistence he follow her inside. Even being the only person in Pelican Town who held a spare key to her house, he still wouldn't enter without an implicit invitation.

"I'm going to apologize whether you like it or not," she said, shuffling toward her bathroom to survey the damage. " AND say thank you. Especially for repairing the hole in the fence."

His answering scoff could be clearly heard, even as she shut the bathroom door most of the way, leaving a crack so that she could continue to talk at him. However, once she flipped on the fluorescent overhead light, a burst of laughter reverberated in the tiny space, drowning out the buzzing hum of the ancient bulb.

She looked absolutely insane. Curly hair, wild and matted with blood and dirt. Splotches of blood smeared across her face, neck, and chest. Blood soaked into the top half of her overalls straight through to the formerly white tank top underneath. Blood. Blood. Dirt. Blood.

"Did you think I was fucking dead when you got here?" she called through the crack between giggles.

"Actually, yeah…" he replied, somewhat muffled by the distance between them. She guessed he was in the kitchen, possibly cleaning himself up too.

"Shit, I really am sorry," she said, a bit softer. Silence greeted her, along with the kitchen tap running at full blast. Following his lead, Kristen twisted the faucet handle of the bathroom sink, grabbed a hand towel, and scrubbed the morbidity of the day from her skin.

❦❧🍓❦❧

Cleaning up took far more time than usual, given the newly acquired handicap of her dominant hand. She hadn't realized just how useless her left hand was until she was forced to use it exclusively, hunching over the rim of her clawfoot bathtub to scrub at her mass of hair under the unforgiving flow coming from the faucet. Water and shampoo dripped down her face, stinging her eyes, somehow creeping up her nose and seeping between her lips. The entire ordeal would have been considerably easier with help, but she'd rather drop dead than ask Shane to wash the gore from the unruly mane attached to her head.

He did knock on the door once, though, taking care not to look through the crack while he asked her if she'd fallen in the toilet. She'd laughed and told him to fuck off before asking him to wait for her as sweetly as possible while contorted to keep her bandaged hand dry. Another 30 minutes passed before she finally emerged into the living room in a clean pair of worn jeans and a simple t-shirt, damp curls hanging loose down her back.

"How much trouble will you be in for calling off at the last second?" she asked, taking a seat next to Shane on the sofa she'd slept on during childhood summers at grandpa Homer's farm. He shifted as her weight settled into the cushions, but only slightly. Nothing like the total rigidity that would claim his body anytime she was within 5 feet of him during her first year in the Valley.

"Doesn't matter," he answered, staring intently at the television screen. The ambient noise of whistles and bodies slamming into each other on the gridball field wafted from the speakers until Shane picked up the remote and pressed the power button. The screen winked to black, and silence settled between them again, oppressive. "The next time you need help, just ask, okay?"

"What?" Turning to face him, she attempted to squint past the gloom. No matter how wide she opened the curtains or how many lamps she littered around the farmhouse, it was never ever bright enough.

"Lewis called my phone like ten times. Marnie must have given him my number."

"Shane, what are you talking about?" she asked, genuinely confused about what he was trying to say.

"He saw me in town when I got to the clinic and — actually, never mind. Just promise you'll call me the next time you need help and not afterward when you're bleeding out like a stuck pig."

"I thought about calling you," she admitted, trying not to hyper-focus on the emphasis that she call him specifically, "but —"

"You should have."

"Okay, I promise." The statement, meant to be a reluctant acquiescence, warmed her belly and sent tingles across her scalp. Something she'd have to unpack later when she was alone and could brood over a giant slice of pink cake left from Jas' birthday. 

Obviously satisfied, he stood and pulled the Joja cap from his back pocket in a finalizing gesture that tugged Kristen's lips downward at the edges. 

"You're not going in, are you?" she asked, incredulous.

"I gotta make up the time, Kriss. Jas needs new shoes soon, and I have to get a head start on saving up for her winter coat."

Weariness settled on his face as he spoke, the fine lines around his eyes seeming to etch deeper with the realization he wouldn't make it home until after midnight and would still have to get up at the break of day the following morning.

"Shane…"

She stood, reaching out with her good hand and lightly brushing it down one of his shoulders. The tension she felt from such a light touch made her jaw clench in response.

"Do you want me to tend to the hens in the morning? I can swing by before my shift."

Kristen immediately attempted to protest, realizing all at once what he truly meant when he made her promise to ask for help. But before she could utter a single word, he turned and walked toward the front door, tossing a casual "I'll see ya then" over his shoulder as he closed it behind him.

[stars-and-loops]

Octopath party but it's my two favorites from each game so H'aanit, Olberic, Osvald and Castti. There's no small talk whatsoever and they've never fought or argued. Castti is the team leader. She doesn't remember her past but still has that leader instinct and she's the most talkative. When in doubt, she consults Olberic cause he's also extremely good at leading.

Silly stuff:

Osvald goes days at a time without saying more than two or three words but starts talking a lot when it comes to encouraging H'aanit to ask out Eliza.

Everyone is very quiet and doesn't interfere in each other's personal business except when it's to get H'aanit to ask out Eliza.

Castti and Olberic are besties. No need to explain, even the square enix artists agree.

When they go to Healeaks, Linde acts super weird and is very cautious cause of the lasting poison rain smell.

Elena and Philip both absolutely adore Linde.

Edmund says something mean to Castti and before she can even reply with a snarky remark, Linde has torn his face to shreds.

Melia also adores Linde.

Osvald secretly envies the comradery between Olberic and Erhardt. He admits that and the three of them get drunk while thinking of ways to hurt Harvey beyond repair.

Castti and H'aanit choose not to help them and instead have a girls' night. They walk around the market looking for new herbs :]

Castti thinks the redeye is the most horrific thing ever but is also deeply fascinated by it. Olberic gets turned to stone during the battle and she interrogates him about how it felt.

When Elena is recovering her memories and still wary of Osvald, H'aanit, Castti and Olberic babysit her a lot. H'aanit teaches her how to do fancy braids and care for animals.

Osvald would've died in the snow if Linde hadn't smelled and dug him up.

pie i adore how your mind works i want to study you

[daedalusdavinci]

spell homestuck

GOD. THIS IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN TWO FACE. i typed too much and theres too many qs so under the cut it goes

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or....... i guess comics, these days, but i HATE READING COMICS they juST HAVE MORE COMPELLING FANDOMS. book fandoms are PUNY nad everyone is STUPID. youd think actual literary fandoms would have reading comprehension and understanding of literary critique but no!!!!!!!!!!!!! its literally my eternal fuckign struggle. somehow comic fandoms hit the perfect medium between compelling, readable content and the enthusiasm of cartoon fans without the childishness of cartoon fans

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

this isnt really a thing i do. the only time i associate characters w songs is my own ocs. barbies theme is miltons tower from the what remains of edith finch soundtrack!

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i have also never really been one to project myself into stories. its just not how i consume media. i think sollux and rose already closely resemble the kinds of friends i make, so maybe them?

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

(freddy fazbear vc) vanessa.... ive done things, im not proud of.

i dont even know if i want to answer this question bc its so fucking humiliating LKJSNDLFSDNFSDF the truth is yes. i am solely responsible for. a lot. particularly in the pjo fandom. i created several crackships ground up all on my own way back in 2014 and developed a following for them and i. dont wantto tell you what those ships were. LSKJDFNSLDJNSDFSDDF ive also pioneered many ship tags for other fandoms and i ship a lot of rarepairs and stuff but i dont think im RESPONSIBLE for them?? in that some ppl already were into them/talking abotu them or tht theyre still not popular (augh. to the ones that became popular) but i AM liTERALLY responsible for some crack shit in the pjo fandom and its. it haunts me sometimes. i dont want to talk about it. IF YOU REMEMBER WHAT I DID NO YOU DONT

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

this is so vague. my headcanons are shifting and nebulous and aus are my constant companion in everything, but uhhhhhhghhusjkdjnsdg i think. roxy writes the same way dave draws comics. its extremely memey and meta and self aware and largely just for the personal lolz, and were all doing her a disservice by pretending her writing looks like roses, when in reality dirk is probably the one whod make comics the way rose makes books (which is probably why he doesnt make comics). its more of that thing where roxy and dave are the same and rose and dirk are the same ykwim. well YOU dont corvus but im sure someone else does

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

jason takes after bruce in terms of like. adopting entirely too many kids. he broods

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

harvey is a heartwrenching character when written well, with a complicated view of morality, heartbreaking ties to our main hero, and a lot of internal conflict. something about such a hopeful character deadset on making a different in the system becoming a victim of it, and the potential he has as a vehicle for critiquing the law.

percy is my favorite character from pjo bc it was the very first time in my life i ever read a book and saw myself in it. hes aggressive, impulsive, and rebellious, he fidgets and has a hard time standing still, he acts on emotion without always thinking it through, he gets in trouble in school and hands his mom a murder weapon to kill his stepdad, hes just... hes a lot of the things ive always gotten in trouble for, things i couldnt help being, and hes a hero. he means everything to me.

vriska, i will maintain until the day i die, is one of the best homestuck characters- maybe just characters?- ever written. shes dramatic, shes impulsive, shes manipulative and mean and creative, and shes just so messy about it. shes a mean girl in a way that feels real, where her trauma impacts and shapes her as a person, and shes complex, with warring wants, and people she cares about, and dreams, and shes so messy. shes rough and rude and shes doing what SHE wants to, being a version of herself that feels right to HER, rather than some caricature of the hot badass evil lady. shes thirteen!! and she FEELS thirteen. shes a thirteen year old weird girl who is kind of an asshole, and she means literally fucking everything to me. shes a pirate!!!!! shes a swashbuckling badass dressing up in her larping outfit and yelling at her friends on the playground to swab the deck and she is the bestest ever, the end.

i didnt mean for each one of these to be longer than the last but here we are.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

i hate jdedave peace and love it just feels weird as hell to me. dave, for the most part, is hyper respectful of other peoples choices and boundaries but when it comes to jade hes always trying to mke choices for her, to protect her, and it gets to the point where even jade points out how much it bugs her. jades crush on dave also seems to come from a place of misunderstanding to me, admiring a lot of the parts of himself that he exaggerates and pretends to care about as a result of trauma. it always felt like a kid crush that they shouldve grown out of with time. dave also just sort of seems to... go along with whatever romantic relationships people push him into at that age, rolling with whoever flirts with him jsut bc hes trying to maintain the image of a player, so its really hard to take him seriously any time he hits on someone?

that is just my interpretation of it tho

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

well. i havent finished my reread of homestuck, so that feels difficult to comment on just yet, bc im sure ill have a different opinion when i do finish it. no one in dc gets character arc bc theyre all just undone immediately, so thats like. yeah. and in pjo the arcs are pretty weak bc 1) kids books and 2) RICK UNDOES THEM ALL. AUGH. regardless of all of this, i am going to say jason grace. he had a lot of development in like the last two hoo books, or maybe just like.... hints of how he couldve developed? promise? which rick immediately set fire to in toa when he killed him, but fUCKING WHATEVER. UGH.

anyway actually tho eleanor from the good place. bisexual icon. queen. probably one of the best character arcs of all time. the episode w her mom has some of the most powerful fucking dialogue ever and i think about it. all the time. i should rewatch the good place.....