#harry is and always will be the exception t everything in sirius’ life
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fully believe sirius hated the nickname Siri for a number of reasons starting with ‘it sounds ridiculous’ and ending with ‘Reg used to call him that when they were kids’ and that’s why James always went for Si instead.
except, except no one accounted for tiny bite sized harry james potter wrapping his entire hand around Sirius’ pinky, going ‘Siwi, Siwi, Siwi, pway?’ and stealing his entire heart and soul in one fell swoop.
why was he ever even opposed to it anyway?
#sirius black#harry potter#good godfather sirius black#harry is and always will be the exception t everything in sirius’ life#just as his father is and was before him#except harry is his CHILD so he gets more leeway#practically all the leeway in the world#sirius is so obsessed w his kid he will put up with anything#including previously considered cringy names#because his godson calling him siri? sweeter than the most melodious song in the world#no one else is allowed still of course but for harry? there never was a restriction in the first place#hahaha also imagining harry growing up and calling him siri in front of someone who knew sirius in school#and finding out he’s actually hated the nickname all the time#and being like ???? why would u ????#(kudos if he finds out about the w reg association and becomes horrified)#and sirius is just. so unbothered.#like yah so?#and harry just doesn’t get it#‘harry you’re my baby of course u can call me what u want’#harry is ofc promptly embarrassed but managed to get out a ‘even if i say ur ancient?’#sirius immediately jinxes his hair purple#but the matter is considered resolved#harry never takes it for granted again tho#pen’s notes
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you know, i’ve never really understood or given any thought as to why ootp had always been my favourite book of the franchise even as i was entering adulthood. but now, i can admit that harry’s inner turmoil and anxiety and staggering sense of hopelessness spoke to me in a way no other book had.
as a kid, i kept wondering why, just why i can understand so perfectly, why every stretch of page used for character analysis made so much sense to me, kept me focused and hungry to know more about how he dealt with everything.
but now i can clearly see that ootp is, in my opinion obviously, the most emotionally charged of the books for harry. it’s raw, it’s painful and it’s really fucking overlooked — his psychological and physical trauma, the loneliness, the anger.
which brings me to my two slightly related questions. how do you think the rest of the series would’ve played out from this moment of the timeline forward if:
sirius wouldn’t have died in the ministry raid, nor afterwards;
harry would’ve somehow found out about dumbledore’s schemes, gotten the whole picture of the man himself and just how much he has influenced his life.
OotP is indeed incredibly emotionally charged, and I love it. Just started reading it again cause I felt like it. Harry's anger in this book is *chef's kiss* I love Harry's anger with a passion and OotP is feeding me so well.
Now, for your questions:
1. If Sirius didn't die
Well, I think this potentially changes either everything or very little depends how you choose to write it. I think I wrote about this already a bit about it but I can't seem to find the post now...
Anyway, it really depends. Like, you could make it change basically nothing:
Like, the summers left for Harry might be a bit better if Sirius has cause to argue for Harry to come to live with him, if not, then Harry still stays less time at the Dursleys overall. Slughorn would still teach and so would Snape in sixth year, but Sirius would be free to help the Order more since he was exonerated by the ministry between books 5 and 6.
6th year would go down more or less the same except Sirius would tend to take Harry's suspicions about Malfoy and Snape more seriously. Whether that causes one of them to do something rash depends on the writer.
Dumbledore would still die at the end of the year though (because he's still picking up the ring) and book 7 would start more or less at the same point. Except Sirius would now be with the trio throughout the Horcrux hunt. So, there potentially won't be camping in the woods bit! Yay!
But, like, it doesn't change much. Especially because Harry didn't tell Ron and Hermione he was going to walk to his death so they wouldn't stop him, he isn't going to tell Sirius either. They might track down the Horcruxes quicker or slower, again, depending on the writer.
You can also choose to change everything and have Sirius as the DADA teacher in 6th year and have Dumbledore drag Harry to get the memory from Slughorn another way. Like, with most what-if scenarios, it's kinda up to the writer's interpretation.
2. Harry figures out everything
I don't think this changes much. I mean, in book 7 Harry has this very realisation. Hermione keeps insisting Dumbledore did care about him, but Harry doesn't really believe it. Harry never fully trusted Dumbledore and was never Dumbledore's man and in book 7 he does lose his faith in Dumbledore:
Dumbledore’s betrayal was almost nothing. Of course there had been a bigger plan; Harry had simply been too foolish to see it, he realized that now. He had never questioned that his own assumption: that Dumbledore wanted him alive. Now h saw that his life span had always been determined by how long it took to eliminate all the Horcruxes. Dumbledore had passed the job of destroying them to him, and obediently he had continued to chip away at the bonds tying not only Voldemort, but himself, to life! How neat, how elegant, not to waste any more lives, but to give the dangerous task to the boy who had already been marked for slaughter, and whose death would not me a calamity, but another blow against Voldemort. And Dumbledore had known that Harry would not duck out, that he would keep going to the end, even though it was his end, because he had taken trouble to get to know him, hadn’t he? Dumbledore knew, as Voldemort knew, that Harry would not let anyone else die for him now that he had discovered it was in his power to stop it. The images of Fred, Lupin, and Tonks lying dead in the Great Hall forced their way back into his mind’s eye, and for a moment he could hardly breathe: Death was impatient. . . .
(DH)
And Harry never would've ducked out becouse that's who he is. Depending on when he found out and under what circumstances, he might be angry, betrayed, sure. He might shout at Dumbledore like after Sirius' death in OotP, he might get depressed, he might lash out at everyone, but when the moment comes, Harry would always choose to walk to his death if he feels that is the only chance to defeat Voldemort.
Sirius, Ron, and Hermione would be the ones to argue against this more than Harry would. They would be the ones screaming at Dumbledore while Harry traps himself in his own mind, processing his own imminent demise. Just like the trio reacted in first year when Harry told Ron and Hermione Dumbledore planned for him to face Quirrelmort:
“D’you think he meant you to do it?” said Ron. “Sending you your father’s cloak and everything?” “Well, ” Hermione exploded, “if he did — I mean to say that’s terrible — you could have been killed.” “No, it isn’t,” said Harry thoughtfully. “He’s a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don’t think it was an accident he let me find out how the mirror worked. It’s almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could….” “Yeah, Dumbledore’s off his rocker, all right,” said Ron proudly.
(PS)
Harry accepts it as something that needed to be done. That he was the person meant to face Voldemort because Voldemort is his responsibility. His burden to bear. Harry doesn't really care for his own life as much as he cares for others' lives. It's Ron and Hermione who are horrified and call Dumbledore insane on Harry's behalf. With the bigger plan leading to Harry's, it would be the same. Harry would accept it as what needs to happen and Ron and Hermione (and Sirius if he's there) are going to be the ones trying desperately to find another way.
Harry is going to be betrayed or angry, yes, but he would go along with the plan if he thinks it's what's best for everyone because it's who Harry is.
#harry potter#hp#hp meta#asks#anonymous#hollowedtheory#harry potter meta#harry james potter#hp what if#harry potter and the order of the phoenix
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Thistlecat Summer Fic Recs
After a bit of a fic reading drought (and some binge purchasing books), I've been finally getting back into reading fic. Here are some I've been enjoying this summer.
Wolfstar:
Come Healing by BrujaBanter (46k, E, wolfstar)
They'd never quite intended for kink to be anything more than fun. Then, Sirius went to Azkaban. He comes out a different man, and Remus wonders if they might just use kink for some other purposes as well. In the process, he does some healing of his own. OR The ways of breaking, reuniting, and healing through sex.
It's a kink porn with lots of plot fic! I'm normally so picky about Dom Remus/sub Sirius fics because they tend to go with a fanon characterization that doesn't work for me but this one *absolutely* works for me. Canon divergent with a happy ending <3
your heart is heavy and red by moon_seas (1k, E, wolfstar)
Sirius has Remus on his back moaning beneath him and it’s almost enough, almost.
Not much to say about this one except it's super hot wolfstar (c)nc and if that description interests you then you'll be into this delicious little fic.
hold you, enfold you by iamsiriuslyriddikulus (9k, E, lesbian wolfstar)
“Remus,” the woman says. “Nice to meet you… ?” It’s a nice name, Remus—one that suits her. Sirius nods and belatedly realizes she has to answer. “Sirius.” She holds Remus’s gaze with a feral intensity, hoping something in her recognizes that they are the same. - - - OR: On a summer day in the South in 2001, Sirius Black went on a campus tour of the conservative college she would attend in the fall, expecting to be bored out of her mind. No one told her the tour guide was going to be hot—brown curls and snake bites and freckles and visibly queer. She stood out against the manicured hedges, a sharp contrast to the traditional values of everyone around Sirius. What followed was one long day of sticky summer heat and a house party that changed the course of her life. Poor Evan never stood a chance.
@fvckyouimaprophet sets such an incredible immersive scene of an elite southern university and utterly sucks you in. This fic swept me up into that heady feeling of being a baby gay in queer spaces for the first time. It's like the time of your life you feel most yourself (can I show the real me??) and most conscious of your performance at the same time (I need to pretend I know what I'm doing!). Plus, lesbian Sirius is everything to me <3
Other marauders era characters/ships:
A Slow and Stopping Curve by aegle (16k, M, remadora)
Concerning Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. Set during Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince.
Gorgeous canon-compliant Remus/Tonks.
i hope this comes back to haunt you by humanveil (29k, M, gen)
Severus Snape, from first curse to first kill. Or: The making of a Death Eater.
It's been a while since I read something Snape-centric, and this is SO good and gives such a clear through line on his character. His relationship with his mother is incredible in particular.
the tiger's lady by basketofnovas (slashmarks) (5k, T, bellamort)
In early 1974, one of Bellatrix's sisters is getting married, the other is pregnant, and Bellatrix is occupied with making sure the war escalates as planned. But a story from the Dark Lord reminds her of other concerns.
I always love @slashmarks's Bellatrix, and the portrayal of the mix of intense magical devotion and mundane domestic violence that is the bellamort relationship is particularly sharp and arresting.
Drarry & Drarry adjacent:
Way to go, Tiger by houndsinheaven (2k, G, Draco & Scorpius (& Harry))
Scorpius Malfoy's seventh birthday.
I'm not normally one for kidfic but my goodness I cried. Good dad Draco.
Closing Time by Anonymous for MaesterChill (18k, E, drarry)
Draco’s been invited to Neville’s stag party in Bristol, and he's confident he knows what to expect. There’ll be too many Gryffindors, for starters, plus a few humiliating team-building activities, some dodgy clubs, and a truly preposterous level of alcohol consumption. But… a drunken Harry Potter climbing into Draco's bed when he’s having a wank? No, he definitely didn't see that coming…
(For HD wireless, not yet revealed) This fic is so much fun! This feels quintessentially drarry to me - they all feel so young and human. For whatever reason I need all of my drarry fics to have someone to have a complicated relationship with alcohol, and this delivers!
If you have similar reading tastes and want more of my recs, check out my bookmarks and collections on ao3 <3
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The rollercoaster of emotions when reading it runs in the blood is insane, I honestly eat up everything well written but this one is especially good like SHIT
Write all the bottom toms you want, the bitchier the comments are the bitchier bottom Tom gets, reading those comments made me mad for you, the entitlement is insane, let powerful men bottom 😭 break free of those stupid weird roles
It’s funny I love everyone no matter how much they frustrate me I need the emotions give me all the feelings
except for Orion (the groan that escapes me when his name is said DAMN JUST STAY DEAD)
James death from Sirius perspective always gets me but it was a doubled with Voldemort I couldn’t BREATHE
Anyway love love love all the rare ships you write about, is there a new ship you plan on writing about?
'Let powerful men bottom' should be written on T-shirts and mass produced 😂
Orion, my beloved! How can you hate him???( I know why, completely valid, but I love me some fucked up men haha) There's a paragraph with him next chapter, alive (sort of) for a few minutes, so you shall groan doubly! I do hope you'll forgive me.
I'm so happy you're enjoying my rare-pair fics! ❤️
Yes- I want to write Sirius/Harry, and/or Sirius/Draco at some point. Though real life is being a bitch to me at the moment, so we shall see. I also have an itch to write a Lucius/Astoria one shot, and a Lucius/Ginny one (mostly to annoy Molly and Arthur).
Hope you're doing well!
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back with more for @hprecfest - although i'll be skipping day three because i have the concentration span of a kitten and therefore no chance of making it through a podfic...
day two: favourite comfort fics
two boys kissing by writcraft sirius black/severus snape mature | 6.8k words
why i recommend it:
because I'm a sucker for both sirius and snape getting a happy ending, and this fic delivers this within a beautiful, gentle examination of the horrors of sirius' young adult life and the way that hope and desire are things he clings to during the lonely misery of his confinement in azkaban. the repeated motif of the sky always gets to me:
when he showers, he whistles a song. he’s not sure he knows it’s name, but he can remember strobe lights and the way snape looked when he was as young as sirius can remember him being. that was back in the days when severus tried so hard not to be queer and sirius thought he had everything to live for.
sirius spits out toothpaste into the sink and contemplates himself in the mirror. it looks like there’ll be a thunderstorm tonight. he puts his toothbrush into the glass and moves into the room, poking his head out of the window. the wind has gathered momentum but the sky is clear.
he breathes in the air and watches the stars.
so bracing by @kellychambliss minerva mcgonagall/severus snape teen | 9.2k words
why i recommend it:
because i love to see older woman/younger man relationships in fandom - there's still far too few of them - and because i love to see fics from the perspective of minor characters, and this, which is as much a careful and generous character study of tom the barman (and the town of skegness) as it is of its central couple never fails to make me smile:
tom took the chance of sitting down again, and when he didn't get tossed out on his arse, he felt a little emboldened. "and you thought you wanted this? life in a muggle pub in skegness?"
snape loaded a glass into a dishpan, and then another. and another.
"my family," he said, just when tom had decided that he probably wasn't going to say anything at all. "my family wasn't one for holidays. it was all my father could do to keep food on the table, once the mills failed. and once the drinking started. but before all that, there was one summer -- spring, actually. may. we couldn't afford high summer season. da somehow saw his way clear to taking my mother and me to the seaside. i was about six. we came here. skegness. we froze our arses off."
"skegness is. . . so bracing," tom murmured, and snape snorted.
"in a word. three days in a grotty little caravan. cheap, greasy food. saw a sad muggle magic show." he loaded more glasses with a crash. "i loved it. fucking loved the lot of it. "
never gonna give you up by @laeveteinn harry potter/lord voldemort teen | 15k words
why i recommend it:
because it makes me shriek. i'm not usually a fan of either professor harry or professor voldemort fics, but it turns out that my exception is when they're forced to work together as a team because harry's newly-divorced and adrift in a world which no longer makes sense and voldemort's a ghost who's obsessed with memes:
“what are you thinking so intently about?” voldemort murmurs. “you mustn’t overtax your brain, it wasn’t meant for hard activity.”
harry snorts. “honestly, i’m just trying to figure out where albus got his bad taste in men. it’s not ginny; lars isn’t actually that terrible.”
and for some reason, voldemort lets out a lengthy sigh.
clay by @titconao3 harry potter & severus snape general | 46k words
why i recommend it:
because i have an unstoppable fondness for the concept of redemption, which is hugely and unfairly maligned in this fandom, and this story is an astonishingly beautiful meditation on the theme, not only in how it approaches both snape and harry as they come to terms with the war and what it has taken from them, but in how it portrays tobias snape and his own reckoning with his past and quest to make amends with his son:
tobias was on a roll. “you lot, always talking about your magic, waving your bloody sticks around like it makes you better than us normal people…” he slammed his hands on the table and severus shuddered, his fists opening and closing around nothing. he’d left his wand in the room; it wasn’t like he could use it, and he had to trust potter could deal with tobias snape. the man was nothing, to a boy who’d faced the dark lord and come out the victor. “you’re not. you’re not! your goddamn magic… we’d have been better off without it, i’m telling you.” severus looked again through the crack and saw tobias with his back turned on potter, his shoulders shaking. he was angry, but not yet taking it out on potter. maybe he was scared of potter’s wand; maybe now that he was sober he was better at keeping his violence in check. either way, severus didn’t trust it would last forever. it never had, before.
to forgive divine by jellybeany neville longbottom/draco malfoy teen | 7.4k words
why i recommend it:
because there are days when you need eighth-year fluff, and this sort of fluff is so rarely given to neville as a central character, but it should be:
he’d wondered if it was something like that, to be honest.
because, because. malfoy was always so interested. he’d read in a fortune cookie once that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it's indifference.
which was a rubbish fortune at the time, but it’s relevant now.
#hp rec fest#asenora fic recs#sirius black#severus snape#minerva mcgonagall#harry potter#lord voldemort#neville longbottom#draco malfoy
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Hello! I love all your fic recs so much, they always hit right in the heart :) I saw your ask where you mentioned Sirius escaping and going to stay with Remus, could you rec some of those fics please? :)
Hi nonnie! Thank you so much for your kind words 🥺❤️
Here are some recs for you!:
Break Free From Lupin's by @halictus-writer (M, 2048)
Sirius breaks out of Azkaban. Remus has been expecting him. Together, they must fight through the city they were once apart of.
Takes place days after Sirius is imprisoned. (My take on a Lie Low at Lupin's, except Remus is a bit feral.)
Through The Heartache by mxwerewolf (T, 5109)
"When Remus came home from his work at the cinema that day, a perfectly normal February evening in 1987, three days before the full moon, he had a feeling he couldn't explain. Some kind of anticipation, like his life was once again gonna change fundamentally."
(Basically a Lie Low At Lupin's fic about coming home with the canon divergent timeline fuckery of Sirius escaping Azkaban a lot earlier)
Enough for the both of us by dead_gay_uncles_est71 (NR, 6363)
His mother always told him that to know love was to know pain. At the age of thirty-four, Remus Lupin understood that more than anyone ever should. If love was pain then Sirius Black was the embodiment of torture. --OR-- The hours after Sirius Black flees Hogwarts with Buckbeak, where he goes, and who cares for him.
Happy by csi_sanders1129 (G, 447)
In which Remus and Sirius take Harry on a simple outing to the park.
Raw Hearts by sapienticss (NR, 5455, seems to be a WIP)
It has been 775 days since Remus Lupin last saw Sirius Black - at least until he breaks out of prison, breaks into Remus's flat, and throws himself wholeheartedly back into Remus's shabby little life.
Lost and Found by melpomenite (T, 14381)
Remus and Sirius had been together for a couple of years, but then when James and Lily died and Sirius went to Azkaban, Remus lost everyone and everything. Now, Sirius has escaped and Remus can't shake the feeling that he's been given a second chance. But it's a lot harder to navigate the changes of the last twelve years than he might have thought. Or, in which Sirius and Remus actually get the chance to process some of their trauma together.
Braid by magickedpiracy (G, 654)
Sirius is at the Lupins' cottage, and his hair is a mess. In Remus' memory, it was always perfect. There might be room for new beginnings.
I won’t have you ruining my couch. (A Lie Low at Lupin’s fic) by Ifididthenididnt (T, 7992)
Does what it says on the tin./Post POA Sirius is a wanted man, and has nowhere to go. He refuses to go to his childhood home, so I guess he will just have to “Lie Low at Lupin’s” as they say./Padfoot is heavily featured, because I love him and that’s what he deserves./Come in from the cold, homemade shampoo, here’s a bed, crying in an alley, pet store, crying confessions, you can come up on the bed if you’d like.
I've quite narrowed down to this tag that leads to some other fics you could check out
There's also this list of post Azkaban Grimmauld Place wolfstar fics by the wolfstar librarian
Hope this helps! Happy reading, and as always, please check the tags :)
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Fake dating?
For the WIP asks
Oh, hi anon! Going straight for my crackest of AUs, are you? I had almost forgotten I had this one in my drafts.
This is an HP AU with canon divergence in fifth year. No one has died, but its Cold War between political factions in Wizarding World. Stressed out recent Hogwarts graduates decide to do something about it. Given that these are people who have lived their teenage years suppressed in various ways....
Their answer to peace is Romance.
Or rather, Blaise Zabini, the son who has been unable to follow his mother's footsteps to live a fulfilling life because of the cold war, riles everyone up for his #goals.
Snippet below. This was written when I had just started writing fanfics, so it's very cringe.
Our MVVIP: Blaise Zabini ✨
"We are all gathered here today, united for the purpose of ending this war. This senseless violence has gone on long enough. We need a plan. And I believe I have one," Hermione starts.
Her words draw immediate attention. After the Triwizard Tournament, tensions had always been high. Sirius's near death in fifth year, his subsequent trial resulting in (highly scandalous) political upheaval, Dumbledore's incarceration in Nurmengard in sixth were only the beginning.
The slowly brewing paranoia in the Wizarding community erupted in riots and civil unrest.
It has been three years since.
They were all sick of it.
"Voldemort is only one man. If we all unite, convince our parents and our families and friends to stand against him, we can defeat him once and for all!" Hermione pumps a fist in the air envisioning the scene. "And with the public support such an action would give us, we can finally overturn the bigoted laws of the Ministry and change everything for the better!"
"Er- Granger? You're forgetting one thing," Justin Finch-Fletchey, he-who-refused-Eton-for-Hogwarts raised his hand. "You are right in that Voldemort is just one man. If we all were to attack him, then yes, we can do it." His eyes flickered to Harry as he said the next words. "But who will bell the cat?"
Hermione's heart dropped. The whole point of this meeting was to somehow end this war without having Harry be the martyr.
"Yes, but. The Dark Lord doesn't make the laws," Zabini gets an almost odd look on his face as he says the next words. "The Ministry does. And who runs the Ministry?"
"His followers do." Luna says, understanding in her eyes. "So all we have to do is make them not do it."
"Oh, blackmail?" Hermione asks, eyes misted by fond nostalgia.
"No, you idiot," Zabini sneers. "This."
Zabini removes a book from his wallet and holds it up.
Lavender's eyes go wide with recognition.
Hermione recoils in horror.
"Huh, I remember that. Romeo and Juliet, right?" Harry squints at the book. "That's a limited edition cover. Neighbour number 13 had a similar one she bragged about in her tea-party once. Aunt Petunia was furious."
"It's my mother's favourite," Zabini states. "At the end of the book, the families of the two lovers put aside their feud and were ready to accept their relationship. Unfortunately, the idiots died. Fortunately, none of us are stupid enough to do that. But the point remains. Fastest way to end a feud, or a war? Romance."
"Is this that 'Power he knows not is love' bullshit again? We can't possibly kill You-Know-Who by love," Ron says. Zabini scowls.
"Who cares about that snakeface? I'm not talking about romancing him, or romance changing his mind. That's impossible. No! I'm talking about romance uniting our families and friends! Romance forcing them to change their mind, and laws, for their children! I'm talking about dating."
Utter silence greets his words.
"Come again?" Hermione asks weakly. Everyone's looks are equally puzzled. Except Harry, who looks like Zabini's words make perfect sense.
But then, Harry's mind worked in weird ways. He made completely disjointed, and surprisingly accurate, leaps of logic.
"Not even dating, but fake dating!" Another book comes out of his wallet, this one having a label 'From Wattypad to Hardcover! Young Adult BestSeller of 20xx'. "Look, Malfoy Sr hates muggleborns and thinks them dirty? Let his only son and heir date a muggleborn!" Zabini announces righteously. Draco, for his part, looks vaguely nauseous and scared.
"Greengrass's father thinks half breeds are a stain? Let Astoria date Gabrielle!" Astoria cheers loudly and Zabini smiles benevolently at her. Hermione can almost see Lockhart's shade standing proudly behind him, the Valentine debacle still fresh in her memories. It is a disturbing thought. Zabini goes on passionately,
"Nott's father thinks werewolves should be killed? Let Theodore date one! Macnair likes animal cruelty? Let his daughter date a magizoologist! Avery Jr is a bit young, but play dates with a few other children should do the trick."
"My point remains: Are you not tired of this constant paranoia? This need to marry for politics and blood as if you are some dog to be bred? Our teenage years were taken by political rebellions and I say nay! No more! We deserve teenage rebellions and dating freedom! The right to not have a third wheel for protection when you want to corner your boyfriend or girlfriend in a shady corner! To openly take your crush on a date and be valid for it! And thus, why not do both?"
Hermione is certain Zabini is only half joking. He really, really seems to be distressed by the lack of stress-free dating in recent years. And the cold war. She cannot determine which pains him more.
Zabini, Hermione determines, suffers from the same skewered sense of priority as Harry.
To her dawning horror, so do most of the people in their group. Their looks of determined acceptance will haunt her memories for decades.
"What do you think, Potter?" Zabini asks innocently. Too innocent, in Hermione's opinion. Harry nods, mind focused elsewhere, comparing the pros and cons.
"We have tried everything else. Why not this too?" he agrees thoughtlessly.
#harry potter#harry potter characters#fake dating for world peace AU#ft Blaise Zabini#who just wants to date#and he.will.date! The cold war and civil unrest isn't going to stop him. nothing can stop him from luv~#Hermione Granger#Ron Weasley#Harry Potter#Golden Trio friendship#crack AU#seriously crack#don't apply logic to it#fanfiction beginner me's first few works lmao#blaise zabini#wip ask game#wip ask meme#wip asks#asks
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by saudadeonly on Ao3
In another world, Sirius might have chosen his own freedom. In this one, he chooses his brother's life.
by gonzoclock on Ao3 @gonzoclock
At the end of first year, Harry pocketed the Philosopher's Stone- in a secret pocket that everyone else missed.
Now, two years later, Harry is in his third year, his friends are having the time of their lives in Hogsmeade, there's an escaped mass murderer running around, and Harry is going stir-crazy. Fortunately, the twins have a solution! Although- they're going to need something in return, and it needs to be good.
Good thing Harry kept that Stone, huh?
And then things go completely bat-shit crazy.
(featuring the Marauders vs 1993, an exhausted Professor Lupin, a bewildered Harry Potter, and an opportunistic Hermione Granger)
by MarigoldWritesThings on Ao3
“Dear gods you are gorgeous,” the man said before Remus could utter a sound. “I’m so sorry about this. Truly. I wouldn’t, but it’s a rather desperate situation you see.”
I’m going to get mugged, Remus realised. Here, under the sharp stars, in the soft snow, by the hands of the most beautiful man he had ever laid his eyes on.
And wasn’t that just his luck.
“Trust me,” the man continued, “I am no more pleased about it than you are, but it’s a matter of life and death at this point, otherwise… well, sorry. Again.”
***
Remus is accosted by a vampire on his way home. Strange in itself. But when the vampire realises he has anaemia, he starts bringing him food. And medication. And nice little treats to make him feel better.
And - well. Remus never claimed to be a man of strong convictions.
by orphan_account on Ao3
When Remus gets talked into seeing his favourite author--Astronomy Professor S. Black--hold a stargazing lecture, he anticipates a stodgy old man in tweed. He does not expect the ripped jeans and rolling-stones t-shirt wearing, motor-bike riding Sirius Black with his wicked smile and passion for the stars. Remus is sure there's no chance between them, but little does he know, Sirius has a passion for many things in life, one of which being Remus Lupin.
by tealeavesandtrash on Ao3
The old floo fireplace was already there when Remus first bought his bookshop and he always assumed it had been disconnected from the network. Until one year later, when someone comes stumbling through it.
And now there’s a dog that wants to ruin his wallpaper and won’t leave him alone.
by magicbeings on Ao3
Sirius Black has everything in his life sorted—except for one small detail: he’s yet to find true love. Since his usual methods (aka dating apps) don’t seem to be working, he decides to leave it to the hands of fate. He’ll let an ancient deck of Tarot Cards guide his every move and hope that this will lead him to the arms of his true soulmate.Spoiler alert: it does work, of course—but not without a few unexpected twists and turns along the way.
by Chlobliviate on Ao3
From the prompt - London BoySirius moves from London to Cardiff to be near James, Lily and Harry.
As a firefighter, he seems to be unfairly accident-prone and ends up in A&E multiple times, where he meets Remus, a very hot, very Welsh nurse.
Slow burn. (pun intended)
by kalegreeneyes on Ao3
Remus Lupin's friends have always known him to be a happy, healthy person. That's why it comes as a complete shock when he returns to school different; a mere shell of the person he once was. All of his light seems to have been replaced by bitter anger and desperate sadness, and none of his friends know why.
or; what happens when Remus is bitten in the summer before fifth year instead of when he was five
Send wolfstar recs pls!!!!! It’s been so long since I’ve read anything but I just finished rereading TCOPTP and I’m starved for more. Idm background ships but I want it to be wolfstar centric and I’ve already read the big fics a billion times sos
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Do you know when there is something you are really happy of how it turned out but you also know that you'll never finish it? So a while ago I tried to write a fic about Harry realizing a little bit sooner that he fancied Ginny and Ginny not dating Dean at the beginning of HBP. All because, really, I wanted to give them more time together and allow Harry to be more of a teenager in love.
Well, I won't finish this, but it's too long to sit unread on my desktop, so I hope you enjoy those little moments of Hinny that could have been, with a strangely romantic Harry.
The moment that Ginny walks away from him, after telling she promised to meet her friends on the Hogwarts Express, Harry feels a strange twinge of annoyance. He watches her go, her long hair dancing behind her in a way that seems to reflect all the sunlight and he thinks he has become so used to her presence over the summer that he hadn’t stopped to think she usually did not hang out with him while at school.
He wishes he’d asked her sooner to sit with him.
It’s only when he is walking along the train with Neville and Luna, and he sees Cho Chang darting hurriedly into her compartment to avoid him, that he realizes this is not the first time he has wished he’d invited someone sooner. A shiver goes through his spine as he realizes the implications.
It’s not as if he feels for Ginny as he felt for Cho, he reasons silently. When he was near Cho, he was always nervous, like if there was a hole in his chest that was threatening to engulf him.
When he thinks of Ginny, he doesn’t feel nervous, he doesn’t feel like he is missing anything. If he thinks of Ginny in those last weeks of the summer, he remembers her being brighter than the summer sun. She is lively and fiery, and Harry had enjoyed her company, had shared her jokes, had made her laugh as much as she had made him laugh. After everything that happened – after Sirius – it had been nice to feel light and Ginny had helped him.
He feels peaceful and complete around her, which Harry tells himself it is perfectly reasonable. She is his friend after all, and if he considers Ron as his brother, then she would be like his sister, like Hermione.
Except now that Harry’s mind is grasping the effects of Ginny Weasley on his life, he realizes he doesn’t really think of her as his sister, no way. He remembers watching her imitating Fleur, her long red hair dancing around her in a way that seemed more entrancing than any veela power Harry ever met; he remembers when they got caught in the summer rain and the way her clothes were glued to her body and he had hastily looked away, feeling so embarrassed at how his stupid teenage body was reacting to that vision.
But now Harry doesn’t think it was just a normal teenage reaction. He thinks about how it would be if he were in the same situation with Hermione and the thought is unappealing just because he doesn’t really see her as anything but his friend.
It’s not the same with Ginny.
He thinks about her smile, about her long red hair, about the curves of her body he’d noticed even though he tried not to and about the freckles on her face that he was once strangely attempted to count.
He feels attracted to her.
That realization comes at the same moment that Ron enters their compartment and Harry feels suddenly guilty; Ron trusts him. He remembers hearing to Fred and George teasing her about her previous boyfriend and how her brothers are so protective of her; Ron would hate him if he knew Harry was –
What? Harry doesn’t know what he is feeling. Somehow this makes him feel less guilty. So he thinks Ginny is pretty. That’s reasonable, anyone with eyes could see she’s beautiful. So he misses her presence; that’s also fair, considering how much time they spent together over the summer.
That doesn’t mean anything, he tells himself when he attends the invitation of Slughorn and his heart skips when he sees that Ginny is already there.
It’s just a silly attraction, he insists, when his fists close after hearing Blaise Zabini commenting on how good-looking she is.
Oh, I'm screwed, he admits when Hermione is explaining how Amortentia works and Harry knows exactly whose perfume he is smelling in the potion.
-----------------
So he has a crush on Ginny Weasley.
That’s okay, Harry tells himself, I can manage it.
Except he is really horrible at pretending he doesn’t care for her. Harry knows this is stupid; it’s not like those feelings developed overnight, he probably was falling for her during the summer, but somehow realizing these feelings exist have made him flustered around her.
He nearly drools during trials when she flies perfectly and outflows all the competition, thinking that her flying is better than any dance he’d ever seen.
He sighs watching her play with her pigmy puff, and he looks around hoping that no one saw it.
Still, he can’t help but keep stealing glances at her in the Common Room, careful only to avoid Hermione’s increasingly knowing looks, and he realizes that maybe he should stop pretending he doesn’t have feelings for Ginny when he sees her talking to a boy from her year.
They could be just friends, for all Harry knows, but that’s when he understands that if he doesn’t do anything, someone will ask her out and eventually she will say yes.
He remembers how she teased a while ago that she was going out with Dean Thomas just to pest Ron and he feels suddenly happy that Dean is not on the Quidditch Team, that he doesn’t spend much time with her. He’d heard Dean and Seamus talking in low voices about her in their dormitory when Ron is not around, and he knows Dean still fancies her.
Sometimes Harry looks at Ginny and wonders what she would say if he asks her out. He remembers Hermione telling them that Ginny used to like him but she gave up on him ages ago. Indeed, now she treats him with so much friendship that Harry wonders if she will just be offended with his invitation. That fear burns inside him, but he cannot help himself from walking back with her from training – even if Ron’s there most of the time – and he doesn’t really think when he volunteers to help her with some spells for extra points in Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Harry soon finds out it was a terrible wonderful idea to spend a few hours with her on Friday night, just the two of them, in a closed classroom. His heart is beating faster as he watches her dodge his spells and he knows it’s not adrenaline from the duel. It’s her, it’s always her.
She is strong, he realizes, when Ginny looks fiercely as she fights him, her eyes blazing with determination and she deflects spell after spell he throws in her direction. She is gorgeous, he notices shamelessly, when her face is red and sweaty from their duel, and she is beaming at him at the end of their duel.
‘You are amazing’, he says and if his eyes are shining he thinks it could be explained by the fact that she really was very good.
But what he can’t explain is how much the energy he was spending on their duel is still running through his vein, filling him with heat and desire for her, desire to do something, anything. He wonders what she would say if he suddenly acted in his urges and just kissed her – he wonders if she would hex him if he pushed her against the wall, and his lips captured hers, his body pressed against hers, feeling her curves, their hands desperate, hearing her moan into his kiss –
‘Thanks’, she says, breaking his imagination. Harry nods, avoiding looking at her. The images are still very clear in his head and he’s glad he’s wearing a cloak. It’s much easier to hide the effects of his imagination this way. ‘I thought you were going easy on me at first’.
It’s the teasing in her voice that makes Harry turns towards her and he almost regrets it. She is still breathing hard, sweat shining on her neck, and Harry’s eyes are drawn to her neckline and then lower seeing her chest going up and down and suddenly the room becomes even hotter.
It takes real effort to look her in the eyes.
‘I would never’, he promises. ‘You’d hex me if I did’.
She giggles and Harry pretends that innocent sound doesn’t fill his chest with longing.
‘Let’s go? I need a bath after this’, she says and Harry considers seriously that she has to know the effect her comment makes on him. His imagination has been working overtime lately.
‘I need too’, he whispers more to himself than her. He doubts she needs a cold shower as much as he does.
‘So’, she begins, as they walk back to the Gryffindor Tower. ‘Excited for tomorrow?’
‘What?’
‘Don’t tell me you forgot the first trip to Hogsmeade. I’ve been waiting for ages for a day-off’.
The thing is Harry hadn’t forgotten Hogsmeade. He couldn’t, not when ideas of taking a stroll with Ginny through the village were constant on his mind; he’d thought about it ever since they announced the date of the trip, but his – that one that always got him into trouble – had faltered him for once.
‘I just lost track of time’, he says, hoping to sound distracted. ‘Got any plans?’
‘None so far’, she replies, her voice sounding as distant as his.
Harry takes a deep breath and urges himself to be brave. If he can face a basilisk, he can do this.
‘You could come with me’, he says, and when she turns to look at him, Harry discovers that looking her directly in the eyes would probably be as mortal as a basilisk eye. ‘Us, I mean, me and Ron and Hermione’. Harry forces himself to smile calmly, even though his heart is beating painfully fast now. ‘You know, if you want our company’.
He glances briefly at her. Ginny is frowning slightly.
‘I don’t want to intrude’, she says finally. Harry is glad she is not rejecting the idea.
‘You wouldn’t’. He smiled as charmingly as he can. ‘Come on, it will be like summer over again, we can tease Ron and Hermione’.
She laughs. ‘I would never miss an opportunity to tease them’, she agrees, and Harry tries not to beam as she accepts joining him – them – for Hogsmeade.
But he beams later that night when he hears Dean grumbling to Seamus that he’d asked Ginny out for Hogsmeade and she answered that she already had other plans.
Plans. They have plans together.
---------------------
The trip to Hogsmeade is an utterly disappointment, with the bad weather and finding Mundungus Fletcher nicking Sirius’s stuff and the curse of Katie Bell. Not even Ginny’s presence is enough to save the day and Harry is left feeling miserable the whole weekend.
The meeting with Dumbledore helps to ease his tension – never mind that they are discussing Voldemort’s past – but it’s in the next morning that Harry feels hopeful again.
First, Hermione tells him of Slughorn’s Christmas party and Harry’s mind, already exceptionally good at creating scenarios involving him and Ginny (he’s been so creative lately that he thinks he could provide ideas for Fred and George’s Patented Daydream Charm), immediately wants this opportunity to ask Ginny out. And second, Hermione invites Ron to go with her, and Ron’s subsequently bliss is enough for Harry to feel that his best friend wouldn’t mind if he asks Ginny out.
Harry tries to say to himself that it’s still early – they’ve just entered November and the party is a month away, but an unforeseen complication arrives the moment that Harry asks Dean to join the team.
He’d thought that Dean would have given up on Ginny already, but from what he collects – and Harry is becoming really good at overhearing conversations -, Dean considered that Ginny denying his invitation was not because she already had a date, just because she was going with her brother. He sees Dean is more invested than ever, and when he gives her a very nice drawing of her face, Harry feels suddenly useless.
Dean can draw. What can Harry do? Sure, he flies well, but it’s not like he could impress Ginny with that when she probably flies better than him. And it’s not like being the Chosen One is a talent – it’s more of a burden, really, and Ginny already knows him enough to see he is not a hero.
He’s feeling really dismayed after the training and for once, when he realizes he and Ginny are alone in the changing room, he doesn’t feel excited.
‘Spit it out’, she says, standing in front of him with her arms crossed, as soon as the door closes after Ron.
‘What?’
‘What’s been bothering you’. She frows at him. ‘You’ve been quiet all training. You didn’t say anything when I called Ron a prat. You didn’t say anything when Ron punched Demelza and he really deserved a call. So tell me, what’s wrong?’
‘Do you ever feel like a failure?’
She blinks, clearly not expecting that question.
‘Hum. Yeah. I once opened a secret chamber, you know’.
‘That was Voldemort, not you’.
‘Well -’, she takes a step back, but she relaxes her arms. ‘But before it was his fault, it was mine. I only let him get to me because I was feeling so insecure’.
‘You were eleven’.
‘When you were eleven you were stopping You-Know-Who’, notes Ginny, rolling her eyes. ‘But what I meant is that I still question myself sometimes. And when I do, I remember that the last time I really doubted myself, I let someone control me’. Her gaze burns into his eyes and Harry thinks she never looked so fierce than now. ‘No fear will ever control me again’.
Oh, God, he feels so smitten by her.
‘Thanks’, he says instead of pulling her closer to him, which is everything his body screams for him to do. She smiles.
‘No problem, Captain. And you are not a failure. How could you be when you have me in the team?’
He laughs easily.
As they walk the grounds, Harry asks her in the most meaningless voice he can manage: ‘I saw Dean giving you a present early. You and him –‘
She sighs and Harry tries to understand if it’s a happy or sad sigh.
‘Yeah, he is – and that’s his words, not mine – courting me’.
She doesn’t sound pleased and Harry’s heart nearly bursts then, satisfied.
‘It was a nice drawing’, he says nonchalantly. She just nods. ‘What’s the problem?’
‘Really? We wouldn’t work out together’.
‘How do you know?’, asks Harry, but he is not really thinking about Dean.
‘Well, for starters, he uses the term courting’, she says, making Harry chuckle without meaning to. ‘It’s just – well, I had one relationship so I’m not an expert but – he is the kind of guy who runs to open doors and I am the kind of girl who likes to open doors for herself. We just wouldn’t click’.
‘Oh!’, Harry bits his lips but the question is his mind slips through his mouth anyway. ‘And what kind of guy am I?’
She stops to look at him. They are a few steps away from the Entrance Hall and Harry almost lost his track when he sees her illuminated by the light of the castle. It feels like a vision from the heavens.
‘The kind who would let a girl open the door if she were closer’, she says warmly, but before Harry can answer, she turns away from him, entering the castle.
--------------------
The minute the door closes on the changing room, Harry lets out a dismayed sigh. His plan was supposed to help Ron get his confidence again, to let himself back into that bliss that had accompanied him in the days after Hermione asked him out for Slughorn’s party. Now, he doesn’t even know if Ron and Hermione will remain friends.
When he leaves the changing room, there is a crowd, many of whom are congratulating him. He just nods without really listening and when someone pulls him away from the crowd, he reacts until he realizes it’s Ginny.
‘Come on’, she says and instead of taking the shortcut that every other Gryffindor is using, they use the normal stairs to go up. ‘What happened?’, Ginny asks, when the sound of the crowd vanishes behind them.
He tells the story in a low voice, not wanting to look at her as he recalls his plan, wondering now how he didn’t think Hermione would assume the worst –
‘It was a good plan’, Ginny mumbleswhen he finishes the story. They are in the seventh-floor corridor now, and she stops by a window, crossing her arms as she lays her back against the wall. The wind makes her hair flow like flames around her; this distracts Harry for a few seconds until he sighs.
‘It backfired completely’.
‘Well, yes, but only after the game’. She bits her lips, thoroughly. ‘But for your plan of helping Ron, it worked. He is a good keeper when he can keep his head in the right place’.
‘Yeah’. He sighs again, taking a step closer to her and looking at the window, trying to ignore how her scent of flowers threatens to overwhelm him. ‘Except now he is mad at Hermione and she is feeling hurt and –‘
‘They are bickering, Harry’, she notes. ‘That’s what they do’.
‘Yeah, but –‘, he remembers that day in the greenhouses. ‘- but for once they were closer to be over that phase, you know? They were going together to Slughorn’s party’.
‘They still will’, Ginny says calmly. ‘It’s just another fight for them. You could call it foreplay even’.
‘Ew, thanks for the image’, he complains, but there is a smile on his face that reveals his amusement. It’s easy to let her quiet words wash over him, drawing away the apprehension.
That’s Ginny’s power over him, he thinks. There is a lightness in her, something that makes him feel as if he had just eaten a chocolate after encountering a dementor, or as if he is as protected as if he just casted the Patronus Charm.
‘You know, I can’t still believe Hermione invited Ron’, she says almost absently.
When Harry thinks about it, he considers that maybe Hermione just lost the patience that Ron would ever ask her out; but right now, he feels envy for her courage, for her stepping over any fear and asking out someone who is one of her closest friends. If Hermione could do it, then he can too.
‘I take you are nervous about it?’, she asks, and Harry turns to her, confused to what she means. ‘About Ron and Hermione, you know, dating’.
Harry shrugs, trying to look nonchalant.
‘As long as I don’t have to see it’, he says. She raises her eyebrows, not believing his indifference. ‘Okay, I worry a bit. If they split up, I don’t know how things would be’.
‘No one knows. But that’s their problem, Harry, not yours’.
‘Our friendship –‘
‘- will survive’, she finishes for him.
‘How do you know?’
‘With the things you’ve faced together, you just can’t stop being friends’. She stares at him for a few seconds, then adds gently: ‘And they won’t ever leave you’.
He blinks, losing himself in the warm brown of her eyes, marvelous at how she always seems to read his mind. He wonders if there is more she can see through him.
If she knows how he feels for her.
‘And if they do split up, at least they will know. Not knowing is the worst sometimes’.
Harry agrees. Sometimes at night when he wonders how it would be Ginny’s reaction to him asking her out, he thinks that the agony of unknowing is worse than any rejection he could face.
‘So it’s good they have a date’, Ginny is saying, seeming to not notice any of Harry’s internal discussion. ‘Slughorn’s party looks nice’, she glances at him rather amusedly. ‘You would know if you had gone into any of his dinners’.
‘I wish I’d gone’, Harry says rather fervidly, thinking he’d enjoy that extra time with Ginny. Then he takes a deep breath. It doesn’t make sense to wish for more time and do nothing about it. ‘Are you going with someone?’
She blinks slowly.
‘Dean’s been giving me some hints he’d like to go with me, but, you know –‘
‘- you are not interested in being courted’, he remembers, with a smile that is calmer than he really feels. His heart is beating so loud in his chest that he wonders if she can hear it. ‘So if you don’t have any plans, would you like to come with me?’
The words are said so naturally that something inside him is almost applauding him, elated that he could really ask her without tumbling the words; he can still remember that Wangoballwime fiasco. But now, as time seems to stop as he waits for her answer, he thinks it’s obvious he would be better asking Ginny out.
Whatever he felt for Cho is in no way comparable to what he feels now.
Ginny is still looking at him, without blinking, and he thinks it’s the first time in a long time he sees her so quiet.
‘Just to be clear –‘, she begins, then she shakes her head. He sees her taking a short breath. ‘We could go together, yes’. There is a smile on her lips that doesn’t reach her eyes. ‘I imagine this way Romilda Vane and all those other girls will stop pestering you about’.
He could just nod. He could accept her perfect reasonable explanation for them going together to the party and that way there will be no chance of things being weird between them.
But for her, he is willing to take a chance.
‘They would, but that’s not because I am asking you’, he says, his voice low. 'I really -'
There is a high shriek on the end of the corridor. They turn around together to see the portrait of the Fat Lady opening and Hermione is leaving the Common Room. There is a cloud of birds around her head and as they watch, the birds suddenly fly directly to the Common Room; there is a scream of pain.
Harry and Ginny look at each other.
'I'll see Hermione', she says, just as Harry nods.
'I'll go check Ron', and they split.
--------------------
There are many things Harry could've foreseen, but Ron dating Lavender Brown is not one of them.
Things between Ron and Hermione are rocky, and as he plays the middle man between them, he finds out there is not much room for telling either of them that he has invited Ginny to go with him to Slughorn's party.
He supposes Ron wouldn't be mad at him, but he only supposes because his friend is always occupied with Lavender these days - or rather their mouths are. At least Harry feels any protectiveness of Ron would be rather hypocrite considering how much Harry has unfortunately seen his best friend snogging.
And Hermione looks so heartbroken and furious these days that he doesn't have the heart to tell her about his plans with Ginny.
He couldn't stop beaming if he told her and that's not very tactful.
Sometimes he feels like the worst friend – his best friends aren't talking to each other, Ron has lost himself in a relationship and Hermione is so upset – but the truth is that the idea of going on a date with Ginny fills his heart with glee and makes him want to sing.
And if Ginny mentioned to anyone that they will go together, Harry wouldn't know. He thinks not, because he doesn't hear anyone talking about it – and between Dean Thomas and Romilda Vane, he would've heard; even Ron would return to the surface to say something, he thinks.
It's just one of these things that somehow feels weird to announce after not announcing it immediately, so he considers that people will just notice when they go together.
And it's not like there is anything different between him and Ginny. She treats him as normal as before he'd asked her out, and if their eyes meet randomly through the day – and she smiles at him – it's still normal.
But he waits more anxiously than before to Slughorn's party, imagining candle lights and romantic songs, maybe a slow dance.
He can’t dance for his life, but for Ginny he thinks he could learn ballet.
Romilda Vane keeps hinting that she’d like to go to the party with him and Hermione advices that he should ask someone else so people can stop pestering him.
‘I have’, he says finally, and the smile is already in the corner of his mouth, as much as he wants to pretend it's no big deal. ‘I’m going with Ginny’.
His attempt at apathy is pathetic and even though Hermione has not been herself lately, she is still smart enough to see right past him.
‘Oh. Finally, then’.
Harry pretends to not understand.
‘Why are you keeping it a secret?’
They aren’t, not really, so Harry just shrugs. He has dealt with the effects that being related to him have caused before, and he doesn’t want for it to happen again - not so soon, not before he and Ginny even… What?
He doesn’t know what he is waiting to happen first, but, still, it seems important to wait.
‘You better tell…’, Hermione is suddenly quiet. ‘Well, you don’t want people to know second-hand’.
Harry sighs, but he nods in agreement. Hermione is probably right, as always.
‘For what matters, Harry, I’m happy for you. I hope things go well’. They exchange a short smile, before Hermione is serious again. ‘Now, I really think you need to be careful with love potions...’
Hermione’s advice - both about love potions and telling Ron – stays in Harry’s mind. He doesn’t get the chance to tell Ron that night – Ron’s too much occupied with Lavender to notice Harry – and he promises that he will tell Ron the next day, hoping his friend won’t notice that he is telling just hours before the party.
The next morning, he waits until Ron finishes his breakfast – his humour is always better when his stomach is full – before telling him bluntly just outside the Transfiguration classroom.
‘There’s something I need to tell you. Slughorn’s party tonight. I’m going with Ginny’.
The fact that Ron doesn’t immediately draw his wand encourages Harry.
‘Ginny? As in my sister Ginny?’
Harry nods in silence, careful not to give any provocative answer. Sarcasm has always been his best defence, but he doesn't think Ron would appreciate it right now.
‘As friends?’
‘Hmmm, not exactly, we - we will see’.
‘Oh’.
And then Ron stays silent, but Harry sees him throwing glances at Hermione for the first time in weeks and when Lavender approaches him, he looks less thrilled than before.
‘Don’t mess this up’, is all Ron says quietly to him, just before the class begins, and Harry wonders if Ron is sorry for all the things he has messed up with his own love life.
-----------------
The thing is Harry doesn’t get many moments in his life where he can feel like something has changed; well, at least not many good moments. When he found out he was a wizard is one. The first time he flew on a broomstick. When he and Ron saved Hermione and they became friends.
But he likes to think he’s in one of these moments now, as he watches Ginny coming down the stairs.
He knows she is beautiful and he knows he has been smitten with her for a while now, but still his heart skips a beat as he takes in her figure: the shining red hair, which instead of being in the usual practical ponytail is falling in delicate curls; the way her eyes are glinting, with a soft make-up that he rarely sees her wearing; and the dark green robes she wears, hightlighting her figure and showing her curves much more than the school robes.
'Hi', she says brightly, and Harry appreciates the fact that she doesn't comment on how he is blushing (he must be, his face seems to be on flames) or how he's staring open-mouthed at her. 'You look nice'.
Harry couldn't describe for his life the clothes he is wearing. He could be naked and he wouldn't notice it.
'You look amazing', he insists, and there is so much sincerity in her voice that a light pinkness arises in her face.
But all she says is: 'Shall we go?'
He nods quietly, and then he wonders if he should offer his hand - or his arm? His arm would be the respectable option, but if he took her hand, then -
Ginny decides it for him. As they walk through the portrait, in a gesture that seems more natural than breathing, she takes his hand.
Her hand is soft and warm and as their fingers interlace, it takes all of Harry's effort not to kiss her now and then, even before their date really begins.
'Who do you think Slughorn invited?', she asks, her voice casual.
Harry smiles to himself. Of course Ginny wouldn't let things get strange between them.
They talk normally as they descend the stairs to Slughorn's office, and Harry is feeling silly for all the times he has feared that something could go wrong this night. It's Ginny whom he is with.
So he talks with Slughorn and accepts being presented to anyone because with Ginny by his side, he thinks he can face anything. She makes funny comments – and Harry chokes more than once when she passes ironic comments with the most innocent face he's ever seen – and after a while he notes that even when the people they are talking to were originally interested in Harry, it's Ginny that draws the attention. She is so lively that he can't blame others for noticing it.
They talk and they laugh and they save Hermione from Cormac McLaggen.
''She'll come back in a minute, Cormac', Ginny says with a straight face when McLaggen asks them if they saw Hermione. 'Why don't you try these custard creams while you wait?, and she apparently takes a biscuit from the nearest tray, offering him one. 'Let's get some air, Harry?'
Harry nods with a smile, already awaiting. He and Ginny are already on the other side of the room when there is a sudden pop and they turn to watch a canary appearing in the middle of Slughorn's office, in the place McLaggen was.
They laugh together, but as his eyes meet hers, Harry feels the reason for his amusement changing.
Or maybe not. In any case it is Ginny that makes him happy.
But now instead of feeling joy for a prank, he feels a quiet warmth spreading through his body and when their laugh dies, the silence that fills them is not heavy; it's a silence that questions Harry and it's a silence that there is only one answer he could give.
His eyes drift to her lips for a brief second – they are pink and shiny and they look so soft – and when he looks at her again, there is a blazing look in her face that Harry wants to see forever.
Her hand is still connected with his – he realizes now that they never once broke apart during the party – so it's the easiest thing to pull her through a curtain, to a nice desert balcony and take a step closer to her.
For a moment, they stand together, looking at each other, then Harry presses his lips softly to hers.
The softness lasts two seconds as if neither believes the kiss is really happening. Then Ginny places her free hand on his neck and Harry holds her by the waist and then suddenly they are closer, their bodies together and their lips urgently. Her lips part and he can taste her - really feel the taste of the butterbeer she drank and the other flavor that is spicy and sweet and intoxicating that screams of Ginny. Her hand playing in his hair causes shivers that have nothing to do with the cold air of December.
A part of Harry wonders if maybe there are fireworks in the party, because he can hear them exploding, he can see all the colours even though his eyes are closed. He doesn't know where he is, what day it is,how long they've been kissing each other on that balcony; all he knows is that she is the only real thing in the world and he promises he won't ever stop kissing her –
Unfortunately Harry breaks this promise a second later. There is a distraction back in the room and the loud noise is enough to break them apart. Still, Harry doesn't really move, breathing hard – they hadn't stopped for something as silly as breathing –, his heart pumping fast in his chest, all his senses still concentrated on Ginny, until he recognises the voices.
Snape. Malfoy. Their voices break through his bubble of happiness and blissfulness.
His distress must be evident on his face, because Ginny takes a step back, with a knowing smile, and pulls him back to Slughorn's office.
He watches the discussion and when Snape and Malfoy are leaving, he hesitates, looking back at Ginny.
For one second his eyes drift to her lips – their lipstick is gone and he remembers his promise, wants to taste her again, wants to be lost in the feeling of having her in his arms –, but when their eyes meet, she unclasps their hands.
'Go', she says in a quiet voice. 'I'll come up with something'. When he still doesn't move, she smiles slightly. 'We'll have all winter holiday, Harry'.
It's that promise – and the ideas of being together with her for two weeks – that makes him leave her side for the night.
------------------
He doesn't meet Ginny again until the next morning, when he arrives to get the Floo for the Burrow.
Ginny smiles brightly at him. His body reacts as always – warmth spreads through every part, a grin comes to his face and his heart beats faster –, but it's a welcome feeling after all the worry he had been with Unbreakable Vows or whatever.
He will worry about it later; now his only concern is being with Ginny and –
His eyes fall on Ron, at her side. His best friend has his eyebrows raised, and he looks to Harry rather questioningly, but he stays strangely quiet. Then Lavender is there, kissing him as if Ron's going to war, rather than being away from her for two weeks, and Ginny rolls her eyes in disgust, but doesn't say anything.
'Happy Holidays, Harry, Ginny', he hears Hermione saying by his side, her eyes suddenly red and she enters the fireplace hurriedly.
Ginny scowls at this and throws an annoyed look at Ron – Harry sees her hand twitching to brag ger wand –, but she presses her lips firmly.
Harry feels like he's missing something.
'Hi', he begins tentatively, and Ginny turns to him with a softer expression.
'Hi. Ready to go?'
'Always. Ah - about the end of the party –'
Her smile falters for a short second.
'No harm done. I got back in time to save Hermione one last time from McLaggen, so everything worked out perfectly'.
Harry sighs.
'That is not how I imagined the night ending'.
'So you were imagining things?', she asks teasingly and Harry feels his cheek burning, but he nods, taking a careful step closer to her.
'I've been imagining them for a while now', he whispers, for once happy with all the kissing noise of Ron and Lavender behind them. There is a sparkle in Ginny's eyes now.
'Perhaps we can turn those imaginations into reality'.
He raises his hand, putting a lost strand of her hair behind her ear, and he thinks her smile is warmer than the fireplace in the room. He wonders if he'd dare kiss her now – there is certainly a challenge in her eyes – but before he can move, McGonagall is calling them for taking the Floo.
'Later then', whispers Ginny, winking at him, and Harry's heart beats faster.
------------------
The Christmas Holiday is anything but frosty for Harry, even though he has his fair share of stressful moments - werewolves, discussing Unbreakable Vows, unexpected visits from the Minister of Magic.
Still, if Harry had to summarize those two weeks in one word, he would say Ginny.
Not that anyone asks him about. There is some mutual agreement between Ron and Ginny, so no one knows they went out together to Slughorn's party just as Fred and George are left without knowing about Ron's new girlfriend and their activities.
That means no one – except Ron but he is turning a blind eye, albeit a slight judgemental blind eye – really understand why Harry is grinning through the holidays, why he always wakes up smiling, why he offers to help Ginny set the decorations, why he and Ginny tries to cook apple pie closed together in the kitchen (the pie ends up quite tasty if a little bit burnt).
Sometimes Harry thinks people should know – they can't be really keeping a secret from Fred and George, and Mrs. Weasley always seemed to know things –, but most of the time his thoughts are occupied somewhere else.
Or rather in someone else.
Harry is patient on the first day of the holidays. He lets Mrs. Weasley take care of him – complaining that he is still too thin, asking how things are in school – until he drops his things on Ron's bedroom and says something about needing to take some air. Ron is not convinced, but Harry can't really care right now. Thirty seconds after leaving Ron he is already out of the house; ten seconds later, Ginny is in his arms, her body pressed against his as they kiss under an apple tree in the garden.
It's hidden there, with only the moonlight as witness, and Harry loses himself gladly in the feeling of her lips, her hands in his neck, the softness of her skin as he finds an opening in her jumper and touches her back, marvelling at the fact that she trembles upon his touch.
It's a routine they will share for the next few days. Hidden stolen moments in the garden, in the attic (ignoring the sleeping ghoul there), their lips exploring each other, discovering the best angle to kiss, until they are both left gasping for air, their lips swollen from the kisses and with that smile that Harry feels like an outdoor for ‘hey, I’ve been snogging’.
Still, no one asks him anything and for once Harry prefers it that way. They will tell people later, it’s just that for now it’s good to keep a secret that has nothing to do with Dark Arts or Voldemort, and it’s good to avoid any teasing or older brother-talking or – as Ginny says with a shudder – Mrs. Weasley’s delightful approval.
Maybe people think they are just good friends. In fact, every time he can’t be alone with Ginny without arousing suspicion, they are together, talking and discussing anything. It’s not much different from what they did during summer holidays, but Harry now thoroughly appreciates how Ginny is a good company, how he can talk to her about any subject.
Well, almost any subject. She doesn’t ask what he found out following Malfoy and Snape on the night of Slughorn’s party, and Harry doesn’t want to share with her – not because he doesn’t trust her, but because telling her it would somehow involve in that mystery and it would be too close to the fact that he is the Chosen One, and when he is with her, he just wants to forget it and be a normal teenager.
She seems to understand it. That's the thing he most likes about her, more even than the physical things he feels when he is with her; she never presses him for anything.
They kiss under the mistletoe she has left on the porch (and Harry can't help but think it's really an improvement from his first kiss), they kiss in the kitchen when they happen to meet late in the night for a hot chocolate (that he can taste in her lips).
It's the best holiday Harry ever had.
--------------
The night before they return to Hogwarts, Ron asks Harry nervously:
'What's going on between you and Ginny? Are you going out?'
Harry hesitates for a second.
'I don't know', he answers truthfully, but now that Ron has asked, this uncertainty bothers him. Ron frowns, his disapproval evident, and Harry hurries to add: 'I'm not messing her around. I really like her'.
At this, Ron seems to relax a little.
'Just - just talk to her, ok? I don't want people saying that my sister - well - just decide what's going on with you two'.
Harry nods in silence.
He lays in his bed for a while, hearing Ron’s soft snores in the bed next to his, before he quietly slips out of the bed. He’s careful to avoid any of the steps that always seems to resonate in the house, and before he can lose his courage, he knocks on her door.
After five seconds that seem to last longer, she opens her door.
‘Harry?’, she asks, blinking and confused. Harry doesn’t think she was asleep, but she was obviously preparing to; she’s wearing a robe, her hair wet, and he sees her holding a towel that she was using to dry her hair. When she sees him staring, a faint blush comes to her face. ‘I take a shower when I can’t sleep’, she admits.
That’s not where Harry’s mind was. He must have kissed her a hundred times by now, must have seen her blushing and teasingly and confident and daring, but seeing her fresh from a shower, with her floral scent heavier in the air, the only thing he was considering is how much he wants her, how much he is falling for her.
‘Do you want to go out with me?’, asks Harry. She blinks, surprised, and looks around quickly.
‘Come on’, she says, pushing him inside her bedroom and closing the door.
Harry had never ever seen her room before, so he is distracted for a moment, taking in the small bedroom, her decoration. Then his eyes fall on the bed and he feels suddenly very hot.
He tries to ignore the flush creeping over his neck as he turns back to her, but he can’t really meet her eyes – Ginny always seemed to read him very well…
‘Why are you asking me out, Harry?’
That stops his creative mind that was still fixed on her bed.
‘Well - because I want to go out with you?’
‘I figured that out, you know, considering how much we’ve been snogging’, Ginny points out. ‘But that doesn’t answer my question’.
‘It’s just – Ron said -’, at this, Ginny furrows her brows and Harry considers that maybe Ron is in danger. ‘I just don’t want to seem like I’m taking advantage of you or –’
‘I believe I was having as much “advantage” as you’, she says with a grin that Harry can’t help but share too. Then he shakes his head.
‘I want to do things right’, he says firmly.
‘You mostly definitive are’, Ginny assures him, winking. ‘I just don’t know if you really want to date me’.
‘Of course I –’
‘I mean, we sort of never told anyone we were going together for Slughorn’s party and I thought you wanted to keep things private’. Harry bits his lips. She takes a step closer to him, grabbing his hand gently. ‘I know you don’t like getting attention and if we’ve dated, people would talk about. I can handle people – that’s why I learnt the Bat-Bogey Hex, but I thought you’d be stressed’.
Harry raises his free hand, touching her face, the wet locks of her copper hair.
‘I don’t like people talking about my life’, he whispers. ‘But for once people would talk about something that’s making me happier than I remember being in a while, so that would be a change. Still – if we could keep just between us – I just don’t want to seem like I’m ashamed of you or that I want to keep you a secret -’
She smiles.
‘Keeping this low was my idea as much as yours’, she remembers. ‘And we don’t need to keep it a secret forever, just, you know, until people find out. Until then –’, she approaches him, raising on her tiptoes to press her lips softly in this neck. The goosebumps erupt all over Harry. ‘– we can have some fun’.
#hinny#wip without progress#just sharing some nice moments#i like the words there#Harry feels really romantic when he is pining#and hinny is my otp#just words lots of words and feelings#for curiosity this would go until the end of the book#lots of snogging happy moments for them#some fights because now there would be time to discuss everything they don't discuss#but still they would be happy together
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Week 25, part one
a stranger walks into a bar by @weighty-ghosts
Rated T. 5k. Wolfstar
Remus unexpectedly runs into Sirius and they finally open up about the strain the war has put on their relationship... The only problem is that Sirius doesn’t actually know he's talking to Remus.
The PB to my J by @aqua-myosotis
Rated E. 63k. Wolfstar | textfic
A Modern AU Marauders texting with prose fic set at University. Mainly Wolfstar - Will they? Won’t they? (They obviously will...) And a little bit of Jily too.
Probably the fourth time I’ve read this one.. I needed some comfort and I always go back to one of the (many) text fics I’ve read and loved then. This one is funny, sweet and chaotic - always a good go to.
Something to Talk About by modernminimalist
Rated M. 50k. Drarry | textfic
Harry finds a phone at the inter-school unity dinner. Harry is a GriffIdiot. Draco is a Slytherin. They definitely don't know each other...right?
For Rémálom's Challenge (series) by itsylva
Rated T and G. Total 14k. Wolfstar
Five stories, written for a challenge, that follow Sirius and Remus from the first time they talk over text until the first time they say 'I love you'. Modern Marauders AU, where Remus chose to be home-schooled and thus never met the others at Hogwarts.
Thanks to @stars-and-scars-recs who recommended this one.
Dear Your Holiness by @mollymarymarie
Rated E. 142k. Wolfstar
During the week of his father's funeral, Sirius Black meets an unusual priest and offers to help write Orion Black's eulogy. At the same time, he's started texting a mysterious bass player from a pop-punk band that he accidentally swapped phones with. Eventually, the conversations between the two start to blur together and Sirius has trouble trying to decide which one he's falling for the hardest.
Its been a week of re-reads and this one is a safe go to. It’s one of my absolute favorites and even tho I’ve read it multiple times before I love it just as much each time. Remus as a priest is everything and @mollymarymaries writing is always magical.
keysmash by @wishingitwerewolfstar
Rated T. 46k. Wolfstar | textfic
Sirius texts a wrong number, Remus faces some fears, and things get better.
We’ll Make It Out Alive by wolfstar_addict417
Rated T. 27k. Wolfstar | textfic
Remus Lupin has a ritual where he texts his best friend’s phone number when the pain of missing her gets to be a little too much. Even though he knows he will never get a text back. Except one day he does. Little does he know that Sirius Black is about storm into his life when he needs it the most.
[Sidenote: as you may notice this week - Im in a mood for text fics and if you’re like me, and love text fics, you should check out @elder-millennial-trash text fic rec list. Every fic on her list is worth reading at least twice]
#fic recs#fanfic#hp fanfic#wolfstar#ao3fic#drarry#text fics really are the best aren’t they#wolfstar fanfiction
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〃Rim's Library〃
social media au/headcanons/one shots masterlist (marauders, bts, larry)
[ click on the underlined names ]
M A R A U D E R S / W O L F S T A R :
one shot -
1st September, 1971
A small headcanon in the honour of the 50th anniversary of the Marauders starting school together.
smau -
IF THE MARAUDERS HAD INSTAGRAM
A mini series (smau) giving a glimpse of what it would be like if the marauders had instagram.
UNDER THE MISTLETOE
Modern day marauders smau where a drunk and possibly jealous Remus keeps moving the mistletoe around so that no one can kiss Sirius at the Christmas party.
LOVER
Modern day wolfstar smau where Remus and Sirius accidentally become famous on twitter because of a drunk encounter and Sirius wants to find Remus again.
song fic -
Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow (tarnished but so grand) [ ivy - taylor swift ]
Wolfstar au where everyone is born with a dark stain on their skin where their soulmate will touch them for the first time and once they do it turns into a million colours. Except, Sirius does not have a soul mark and Remus' soul mark keeps him anxious all the time.
You drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding [ cardigan - taylor swift ]
Wolfstar headcanon from Remus' pov taking place after the Battle of the Department Of Mysteries in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings [ paper rings - taylor swift ]
5th year wolfstar au. The one where the tables have turned and Sirius finds himself pining over his best friend.
If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you [ this town - niall horan ]
Post wizarding war wolfstar au. Having come close to losing everything in the Wizarding war, Sirius reflects on what he wants most in his life and the answer is always clear - Remus.
If I didn't know better, I'd think you were still around [ marjorie - taylor swift ]
They were okay. And they were hopeful. Until they were not. Marauders au where the war took away two people Remus held very dear to his heart, leaving him to deal with the aftermath on his own.
You can throw a party full of everyone you know, you can start a family who will always show you love [ matilda - harry styles ]
Marauders au where Sirius hasn't had a "happy" birthday in a long time, but bad times don't last forever, right? Sirius has never had a reason to celebrate birthdays before, but of course, life at Hogwarts came with an additional bunch of idiots who Sirius clearly underestimated.
I was enchanted to meet you [ enchanted - taylor swift ]
Just another day in the wolfstar alternate universe. Just another Taylor song I managed to pull them into. wolfstar au written for @/wolfstarmicrofic 's prompt
I don't wanna say goodbye, 'cause this one means forever [ in the stars - benson boone ]
Journal entries of our resident drama queen, Sirius Black. 12 birthdays. 12 entries. And a great deal of friendship, pining, love and heartbreak. Wolfstar au.
B T S :
Naamkook one tweet au
Taegi one tweet au
Jinkook one tweet au
L A R R Y :
I LOVE YOU 3000!
“Your eyes”
“Excuse me?”
“You asked what my favourite colour is, so yeah. Your eyes”
Or smau where Harry is a famous actor and Louis is a cute journalist who’s trying not to flirt back with the incredibly handsome man he’s interviewing.
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
Short smau where Harry and Louis are regular customers at a cafe and have been stealing glances at each other for quite sometime until Harry decides to do things his way.
Cue Halloween, pranks and missing ingredients.
Your coffee shop au. ☕
HOLIDATE!
Smau where Harry works at Louis’ favourite bakery and has been ditched by his own family right before Christmas. In a moment of bravery Louis invites him over to his family Christmas to solve problems of his own.
DATE GONE WRONG
“What if he got stood up?”
“Or, the date is running late-”
“But what if not?”
Or smau where Harry thinks Louis is his blind date and Louis plays along thinking Harry got stood up but both were wrong.
#harry potter#marauders#marauders era#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#wolfstar#jily#louis tomlinson#harry styles#one direction#larry stylinson#niall horan#liam payne#zayn malik#fic#fan fiction#fanfic#hogwarts#smau#social media au#larry#bts
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hp fic masterpost
i realized i haven’t actually crossposted all my hp fic here, so i figured i might as well just make one big post for all of them! i’m not including anything written before 2019, but i’ll put everything under a cut for sake of space and so that i can add new ones if the urge ever comes!
i’ll sort them by gen and ship fics. some contain elements of both; i’ll indicate the relationship focus for each one! just for fun, i put a (*) next to my own personal favourites.
gen
by his side - snape & harry | rated t | 15.2k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: addiction, referenced child abuse | COMPLETE [posted 04/08/19]
After what is surely a more-than-preventable potions accident, Harry Potter winds up stuck in the hospital wing, unable to wake up. Severus just wishes he knew why Poppy won’t stop bothering him about it.
from grace - snape & harry | rated t | 15k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: suicide, referenced child abuse | COMPLETE [posted 18/09/19]
From the top of the Astronomy Tower, the stars always look brighter. Funny, how Harry can’t seem to find them at all anymore.
where the heart is - snape & harry | rated t | 15k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: depression themes, child abuse | COMPLETE [posted 20/10/19]
After the events at the Department of Mysteries in June—and all that came after—Harry finds himself once again stranded at Number Four Privet Drive. With only his own thoughts to keep him company, he takes to writing letters to the only person he thinks can help, if only he were still alive to do so.
As it turns out, though, sometimes help can arrive in even the most unexpected of forms too.
* perpetual memory - snape & harry | rated t | 4.5k | hurt/comfort | COMPLETE [posted 22/10/20]
Even now, Severus cannot understand the inclination to celebrate on the anniversary of what was one of the wizarding world's greatest losses.
Apparently, he isn't the only one who thinks so.
* unravelling - snape & harry, madam pomfrey & harry | rated m | 22k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: rape/non-con, graphic torture, suicide, character death | COMPLETE (i may add a second chapter someday, though!) [posted 11/04/20]
He remembers what it was like. Sort of. The cold, the hunger, the pain. But mostly, he remembers those gentle hands, the whispered promises: ”I will get you out of this.” It was the only thing that kept him breathing. Most days, it still is.
vertex - lily & harry, james & harry, snape & harry (tbh harry & everyone) | rated m | 24k | angst, fluff, and hurt/comfort | cw: graphic torture, character death | INCOMPLETE [last updated 02/07/21]
Harry had given up hope of ever getting his chance at a family long ago, years before he even got his Hogwarts letter. But when in the midst of the war against Voldemort he suddenly gets an opportunity to have the family that was always supposed to be his, he must face a difficult choice: Return to the war that has torn this family away from him, or hold on to his heart’s deepest desire?
wonder - harry & molly, background romantic harry/ron/hermione | rated t | 16k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: referenced child absue | COMPLETE [posted 09/03/20]
Molly wonders about them sometimes. How they are always so aware of each other, how closely they cling together. And she worries, too. She worries about them all. She just can’t help it—they’re all her children, in some manner of speaking.
first time for everything - the marauders, background james/lily | rated t | 2.7k | no voldemort au, fluff | COMPLETE [04/05/20]
As Harry's first birthday approaches, James grows increasingly stressed about the fact that Lily has put him in charge of preparing a cake—and he has never, not once, baked in his life. Luckily, his best mates are there to help him out.
-
ship
(nothing) between us - sirius -> james/lily | rated t | 7.3k | angst | cw: character death, referenced child abuse | COMPLETE [25/02/19]
Sirius loves James.
James loves him too, except that he doesn’t.
It all makes perfect sense to Sirius. Somehow.
marauders’ café - james/sirius/lily | rated t | 9.5k | coffee shop au, no magic | COMPLETE [posted 20/07/19]
James and Sirius are insufferable, annoying, ignorant arseholes.
Lily really wishes she could say that’s all they are.
understanding - harry/ron | rated t | 6.4k | relationship study, canon typical angst | COMPLETE [posted 19/12/19]
Of course Hermione knows boys are idiots, and her best friends are no exception. But over the years, watching them dance around each other again and again, she really wishes she weren't the only one who understood what all of it means.
* somnia - harry/ron | rated t | 17.6k | hurt/comfort | cw: referenced child abuse | COMPLETE [posted 02/02/20]
From the time they’re eleven years old, Ron is always there to help him find his peace in those dark and lonely hours of the night. Turns out, Harry has helped Ron find his too.
one touch of this heart - harry/hermione | rated t | 4.3k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: depression themes, implied suicidal ideation | COMPLETE [posted 05/01/20]
Hermione always knows what Harry’s thinking.
Sometimes, she almost wishes she didn’t.
closing in - harry/ron/hermione | rated t | 7.8k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: referenced torture, referenced child abuse, claustrophobia, panic attacks | COMPLETE [posted 17/02/20]
Harry supposes he’ll never know how they learned about the cupboard under the stairs. He also supposes he’ll never know how they managed to make him so afraid of it, all these years later.
* blood of the covenant (or, affectionately, “harry potter and the borderline personality disorder”) - harry/ron/hermione | rated m | 16.6k | angst and hurt/comfort | cw: referenced child abuse, mild sexual content, suicidal ideation, self-harm | COMPLETE [posted 24/02/20]
��We’re coming with you. That was decided months ago—years, really.”
They’re the only ones who always stay. Even when he says he doesn’t want them to. Even when he thinks that this time, for sure, they will not come back. Sometimes—selfishly—he is grateful for it.
* in for a galleon - harry/ron/hermione | rated m | 12.6k | fluff | cw: minor sexual content | COMPLETE [posted 12/02/20]
It starts out innocently enough. At first, it’s just rumours. A few under-the-table bets.
And then someone puts up the list: Harry Potter’s Next Girlfriend Boyfriend? Partner. And to make matters worse, his best friends are at the top of it. Figures. He really can’t have just one simple year, can he?
unconventional - harry/ron/hermione | rated g | 5k | fluff | COMPLETE [posted 08/03/20]
A few years, now, have passed since Hedwig’s death, and Hermione thinks it’s time Harry got a new pet. What sort of pet, though, neither she nor Ron know. Not until Harry himself offers her the perfect solution, that is.
a quick learner - harry/ron/hermione | rated t | 2.9k | fluff | COMPLETE [posted 12/03/20]
Video games. It's one of those things not a single one of them ever did as children (though Harry says he might as well have, how often he watched his cousin playing them). But when half the Weasley clan is suddenly invested in them, they really have no choice but to follow along.
* amor vincent omnia - harry/ron/hermione | rated t | 12.8k | fluff | COMPLETE [posted 14/02/21]
As if it weren’t bad enough that each of her best friends is intent on setting her up with the other, with two weeks left to go until Valentine’s Day, Hogwarts is suddenly overrun with a plague of utter lovesickness as an absurd tongue-tying jinx captivates the student body. Hermione might not mind so much, if they had just left the library alone.
* lost and found - harry/draco, gen harry & ocs | rated m | 52k | post-canon, hurt/comfort | cw: child abuse, ptsd, (eventual) mild sexual content | INCOMPLETE [last updated 14/02/20]
Feeling lost immediately after the end of the war, Harry eventually relents to an invitation by Headmistress McGonagall to take up a position at Hogwarts—along with two of his old classmates, apparently. But apprenticeship under a portrait-bound Snape, a tense but strictly professional relationship with Malfoy, and three nosy first years quickly proves to be more of a challenge than he had anticipated.
[post last updated 15/07/21]
#mine#*fic#masterpost#harry potter#ik l&f looks bad but its in 'manuscript' surgery rn. itll come back better than before i prommy#as of posted this i have an ongoing drarry fic and an ongoing harmony fic. expect those soon...ish :)#oh!! and a pomfrey & harry thing...that might be finished first actually#****posting. god.#rbs are fine btw
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TLTNL- THE WOES OF MRS. WEASLEY
Lily had to demand the book from Sirius as he was still scrutinizing Dumbledore's departure like that, and he handed it over reluctantly. Before she could get started he said, "can we please take a break, just a quick thirty minutes to do something other than this mess. I really don't want to get started with something all over again already." Harry looked just as exhausted as him and eagerly agreed, and the moment everyone agreed he at once demanded of his Godfather if he could hear some more fun stories of the Marauder's pranks at school. Sirius easily roped James into that conversation and Remus would never resist breaking in as well. Lily watched them peacefully go through several stories, her favorites usually the ones on each other, but the longer they kept going the harder it was to keep leaving one person out. They'd spent seven years as a foursome after all, and it was getting more obvious by the moment they couldn't blot him out of all their adventures.
Still it had been worth it when finally all of their laughter subsided and they all looked almost normal and peaceful again while Lily got herself started.
Dumbledore's abrupt departure took Harry completely by surprise. He remained sitting where he was in the chained chair, struggling with his feelings of shock and relief.
Harry was all the more happy for the little break he'd just had, it gave him some distance so he wasn't as hurt by that as he was at the time, and he did feel a bit better when he watched those around him either frown or scowl at this rather rude dismissal. Sure it wouldn't do for Dumbledore to show favoritism to Harry in that moment, but even a quick word goodbye would have been better than nothing.
The Wizengamot were all getting to their feet preparing to leave. Harry stood too and nobody seemed to be paying him the slightest bit of attention, except the toad like witch on Fudge's right, who was now gazing down at him instead of Dumbledore.
Harry felt that nasty, prickling feeling returning at once at her mentioning, and he wished he understood why. Surely she had nothing to do with his life.
He turned to leave, hesitated in case someone called him back, but when no one did he began a very fast walk to the door.
"Escape while you can before they throw something else at you," Remus sighed in agreement.
He reached the door practically at a run, then nearly collided with Arthur who was pale and looking even more apprehensive than when Harry had gone in as he asked what had happened, Dumbledore hadn't said.
Remus tried for a more open expression in regards to saying, "well if he didn't even say anything to Arthur then I'm positive it really was a matter of something else other than this place he had to attend to."
"Yeah, I guess," Harry agreed, feeling only the smallest margin better it hadn't just been him who'd been dismissed like that.
Harry explained his current circumstances as cleared of all charges, and Arthur's face broke into a wide grin of how good that news was. Of course there was nothing to convict, he hadn't been guilty, but nobody could pretend- he broke himself off,
"Honestly that's for the best, he can't have gone anywhere pleasant from there," James shook his head fondly, regretting not having done something similar to his son when he seemed so pleased at Arthur's reaction, but now it would just look silly when the moment had passed.
because the courtroom was pouring out behind Harry now, and Arthur was gaping in shock he'd been tried by the full court.
"Can't wait for him to pass that along," Lily huffed, "I'm hoping it'll drop Fudge's credibility even more."
One or two gave Arthur a nod as they passed, such as Madam Bones who even greeted him with a good morning, but most ignored his existence as thoroughly as the wall like Fudge. The toad like witch,
"Are you going to keep referring to her like that?" Sirius snickered, honestly amused at what he considered a running insult from Harry after he'd gotten her name.
"Yes," Harry said back flatly, causing his smirk to disappear at once as they all scrutinized Harry's look. What had this woman done to him to cause such bad feelings when she hadn't actually done a thing yet? He was acting more hostile towards her than Fudge.
took one last moment to watch him as she passed by. Last to leave was Percy.
Lily winced at even the idea of having to read out such a harsh reaction she expected a parent to have around their own child, yet Arthur utterly deserved whatever was said to Percy, it still left a bitter taste in her mouth before she even knew what was to be done.
Aside from the tightening lines around his mouth, Arthur turned away with no notice he'd just seen his third child.
Lily groaned and shook her head miserably, there was no way that could have been good, but did the boys really have to look so hateful while she said it. She supposed it was better than the lashing argument she'd just pictured herself.
He waited until Percy had vanished before beckoning Harry that he could go back and tell the others the good news now, Arthur still had to see to that toilet in Bethnal Green.
"Was honestly hoping you'd go along," Sirius gave a believable smile to that.
"I'm sure I can give you details later when he tells that night," Harry chuckled at the enthusiasm.
Harry asked what was going to be done to the toilet with a grin, everything seemed five times funnier than normal to him.
"That's usually how it works," Remus smiled in full agreement as the feeling poured back over him he hadn't felt in a few years now but he honestly missed, this must be ten times more powerful to something so strong as what Harry had just gone through.
It was starting to sink in: he was cleared, he was going back to Hogwarts.
"Knew it all along," James gave a pompous smile. "Course all you had to do was look at this books length, or Merlin we could have even skipped ahead."
"Oh, now you suggest that," Harry chuckled.
Arthur began explaining the charm used was a simple enough fix, no the real problem was the vandalism itself and what it stood for. Muggle-baiting was an expression of a much deeper- he stopped himself in mid sentence.
"That always seems to happen during the important conversations," Lily sighed as she'd completely agreed with what Arthur was saying.
They'd reached back to the main landing where the lift and door were, to see Fudge speaking to a tall, blond figure with a pale face.
Harry extra despised that cold feeling of dread wrapping around him, forcing him to relive a memory he'd already regained just because of the sight of this man. Though he hadn't seen his face, the last time Lucius Malfoy had been in his presence was in that graveyard, groveling to Voldemort-
His recurring nightmare was interrupted by his dad whispering hatefully, "unless he's in handcuffs, I hope Arthur has the sense to keep you away from him."
"Considering the last time his name was mentioned in relation to Fudge, I wouldn't hold your breath mate," Sirius could already feel his lip curling into a sneer.
The second they'd arrived, the other two broke off whatever they were speaking of as well, Malfoy's cold grey eyes fixing Harry with a stare as he called to him Patronus Potter.
"I see where the young Malfoy gets his wit from," Remus rolled his eyes at the lame insult.
Harry felt winded, as the last time he'd been in the presence of this man was in the graveyard, listening to that voice jeer at him through a Death Eater's hood for Voldemort to continue torturing him.
James could feel himself going for his wand again, now regretting his angry actions this morning just because he wanted to be back beside his son now. It only helped ease his hand away but worsen his mood when Sirius gave Harry a soft nudge and muttered something to him, and he blinked around before smiling at him.
Too see him here, talking to Fudge just weeks after Harry had told Fudge this left Harry breathless.
Mr. Malfoy continued by saying the Minister had just been informing him of Potter's lucky escape.
"The fact that you call him mister," Sirius scoffed while trailing more silently in mutters about that.
It was astonishing really, how he kept wriggling out of tight holes, almost snakelike.
"Well he'd know all about that," Remus snapped, "glory, I think that was almost a compliment."
"Then I'm all the more insulted," Harry groused.
Mr. Weasley gripped Harry's shoulder in warning.
"I'm sure Arthur needs that just as much to hold himself back," Lily's lip was shaking with anger as she forced herself not to start cursing something. "I still treasure the idea of him hitting that man with a book on toadstools."
"You and me both love," James agreed.
Harry quietly agreed he'd always been good at escaping.
Sirius gave a soft, bitter laugh that he couldn't feel, but Harry deserved someone to admire his humor in the face of that.
Malfoy turned his attention to Arthur now, asking in astonishment what he was doing here?
"Escorting a friend, not that he'd understand what that meant," Remus muttered, not having missed the fact that the two people who should have been there for Harry were busy hiding out.
Mr. Weasley gave the curt reply that he worked here.
Malfoy raised a disbelieving brow as he demanded not here, he'd been under the impression his job implied bewitching useless Muggle artifacts.
"I really didn't think there was a bad way to say that, but Malfoy really managed it," Sirius huffed.
Arthur just said a simple no, his nails now digging into Harry's shoulder.
Even as Lily winced in sympathy Harry's face didn't even do that for the remembered feeling, he was too busy glaring at nothing and wishing he could punch Malfoy in his face already.
Harry demanded of Malfoy what he was doing here, and Malfoy stated that was none of Potter's business while smoothing out his robes.
Harry was distracted from his anger at Malfoy to really ponder that question though, since for some reason he couldn't identify he didn't like the answer given. Why? It wasn't even unrealistic, but something about that corridor and Malfoy was trying to be much louder in his mind than he would allow it.
Harry distinctly heard the gentle clinking of what sounded like a full pocket of gold.
"Subtle," James snorted in disgust.
Fudge still pointed out this should be taken somewhere more private, and the two swept off for the lift, Mr. Weasley not letting go of him until they were out of sight.
"Again, I feel that's more for his benefit than Harry's," Sirius sneered, knowing he'd have to have someone hold him back as well when faced with that man.
Harry demanded why Malfoy hadn't just been waiting in Fudge's office if they had business. What was he doing down here?
Lily froze, cocked her head to the side, and stated, "that's a really good question."
"I, err, well maybe he was meeting up with some other Death Eater that works at the Ministry," Sirius offered. "Arthur said it himself, that's not a commonly frequented area, and I don't think Malfoy probably hadn't known the times were changed, so maybe he just got caught being down there and made, something up," he trailed off unhappily, but Harry was watching with wide, eager eyes for him to keep going. Harry was entirely sure Sirius was very close to being onto something, but none of the others looked very convinced as this was very blatant and almost dumb for Malfoy to be trying to do such a thing.
Mr. Weasley suggested trying to sneak into the courtroom,
Harry fidgeted with unease, as sure that Mr. Weasley was lying as he was that Sirius was far more on track. The two just would not come together for him to make sense of.
looking extremely agitated and glancing over his shoulder as though making sure they could not be overheard.
Harry opened and closed his mouth, starting to shake slightly as word vomit threatened to blow his head off as he was confident in that moment Arthur was looking back for an entirely different reason! To check on-
"Whoa Harry," James finally lost his compulsion so that he was sitting on the arm of the sofa next to Harry. "What's gotten into you? The trial's over, you're going back to school, I'm confident Malfoy won't do anything in the meantime."
Harry had to concentrate very hard on the sound of his voice to unscrew his face and take a deep breath before offering a shaky smile at him, and even that wasn't enough to erase the build of unease that left him sitting that much closer to Sirius.
James, finding himself more intruding than anything when he saw that, went back to his spot and tried to pretend like he hadn't seen any such thing.
Harry asked what private business they had that was so important anyways, and Arthur explained gold. Malfoy kept himself well connected with everyone by constantly donating to whomever he pleased.
Lily would have normally been trying to subtly comfort her husband for what had just happened, but she was too busy grinding her teeth in frustration that was all it took to get in with people, money. Apparently morals weren't worth as much!
They got into the elevator by themselves, and it took Harry a few stops to ask if Fudge was seeing Death Eaters in private, what if he was under the Imperius Curse?
"Honestly if you hadn't had that moment with him at the end of last year, I'd agree," Remus grumbled. "Sadly, as no one at that time had the chance to Imperius him before he acted the way he is, I think he's just an idiot all on his own."
"Jr. could have done it before he took me to his office," Harry persisted even if he didn't feel anything telling him this was the right line of questioning, he should in fact still be more focused on that door-
"I don't see it, he was too busy watching you, it just didn't seem part of the plan," Lily shook her head. Harry was at least grateful he'd asked then just to make sure that train of thought kept getting cut off.
"How do you even prevent a Minister from falling under that though?" He pushed for more, some distant part of him still afraid for this fact.
"The Minister works in very close contact with a lot of people," Remus reminded. "Why do you think Crouch got 'sick' while he was Imperiused, there's just no way to have someone fake it for a long enough period of time it wouldn't get suspicious and someone would look into him, start asking questions. Sorry Harry," he finished truly apologetically, "I guess it would be easier to blame someone else on this problem with magic, but that doesn't usually work."
Harry just sighed but let the matter go.
Arthur agreed the thought had crossed their mind, but for now Dumbledore was sure that Fudge was acting of his own accord, which the headmaster also agrees, isn't much comfort.
Sirius snorted lightly as he realized Remus and Dumbledore had essentially said the same thing, but he didn't really want to compare Moony to Dumbledore right now.
Then adding on more quietly it was best not talk about this right now.
"That's true to," James agreed, "you are in enemy territory."
As they made it to the atrium and were fixing to leave, Harry paused at the golden statue again, and asked Mr. Weasley to wait for him as he reached for his money bag.
Lily felt the happy giggle slide from her with what felt like the first true ease in this book. Something as whimsical as her son keeping this promise was a treasure to her.
Harry got a much more close up look at the designs now, and found that the handsome wizard looked weak and foolish up close. All of the others admiring expressions upon seeing this man were entirely ridiculous from what Harry knew of centaurs and goblins. The only accurate one was the house-elf.
"I'm glad you see the truth in that thing," James happily agreed.
"I honestly think that's why that attempted assassination on Spout-Hole happened," Remus smirked, then catching sight of Harry's bewildered look he explained, "a group of centaurs tried to kill a past Minister, Faris Spavin, and I've no doubts it really had something to do with the timeframe this statue was put up."
Harry didn't have it in him to deny someone deserved a good reality check for thinking up this statue.
With a grin at the thought of what Hermione would say if she could see the statue of the elf,
Harry felt a nasty tug on the edges of his memory, thinking he was now being ridiculous that Hermione and him at the Ministry at the same time shouldn't cause any bad feelings...
as he turned his moneybag upside-down and emptied not just ten Galleons, but the whole contents into the pool.
Lily let out a whistle in surprise, as she knew she kept a few galleons on her, but no one could do anything but smile at Harry for this spot of kindness.
Harry in no way regretted his actions of course, but he was thinking hard to himself why that felt so ominous to him, that statue and also that hospital...
Ron punched the air in triumph as he screamed he knew it!
"So I'm guessing you're back at that place." Sirius hadn't been in a particularly good mood while hearing of Harry at the Ministry, but this was honestly only making him feel worse.
As a natural reaction but also hoping it would cheer him up, Remus gave a sarcastic little applause for Sirius' brilliant thinking, while Lily was ignoring them both.
He always got away with stuff!
"Well he's not wrong," Remus snickered while Sirius released a bark of laughter for that being true.
Hermione was still shaking from anxiety as she told him this was bound to happen, there hadn't been a case against him.
Harry smiled around at them all that they seemed quite relieved considering how convinced they all were he'd get off.
"That's right Harry," James nodded in pure agreement, "mock them for trying to comfort you to your face."
"So long as they were silently worrying while you weren't watching," Sirius giggled in agreement.
Mrs. Weasley was wiping her face with relief as well, while Fred, George, and Ginny were doing a war like dance, chant around the room about how 'he got off!'
Sirius didn't even consider denying his spark as he got to his feet, James moving only a step behind him as the two began bouncing around their own room doing the exact same thing. Remus only watched long enough to see the pattern the two quickly took to before joining with a stupid grin in place as well.
Harry was about ready to fall off the couch laughing any second and Lily in no way looked like she was going to be stopping them any time soon. They all, especially James, had been so tense lately that it was good to see him acting like an idiot goofing off with his friends again. Finally though, she did pick the book back up and kept going over their noise.
Arthur tried without emphasis to get them to stop while turning to Sirius and telling him about Lucius Malfoy hanging around the Ministry. All the while in the background the three were going as loud as ever while Mrs. Weasley cut in for them to be quiet.
Lily read that part just a bit more loudly, hoping they'd take a hint soon even if she couldn't wipe the smile off her face while doing so, but the lot of them ignored her.
Arthur just explained what they'd briefly seen, and as soon as Sirius promised they'd pass this along to Dumbledore, Arthur said he had to get going. There was a vomiting toilet waiting for him.
"A once in a lifetime experience I'm sure," Harry snickered to himself, his eyes still dancing as he watched the three of them still mimicking his past with amusement.
Mrs. Weasley finally cut off her three noisy children in a sharp voice,
Lily had said that in such a sharp 'mother' voice, that Sirius stumbled in surprise, Remus tried to catch him, and the end results were all three on the ground still laughing like crazy people. Lily was still going as if this was all perfectly normal background to her reading, which it honestly was.
then she turned on Harry and insisted he eat something.
His friends sat down around him as Harry felt the warmth and friendliness of this place for the first time. Even Kreacher's ugly snout like nose poking around the corner seemed friendlier than usual.
Harry's good mood could find no reason to dampen in here either, as for what felt like the first time in ages he was confident that house should always feel like that to him. It was so nice to watch the boys untangling themselves and still smirking at their spot of fun and his mother's purely happy smile he almost wanted to ask her to stop just for a moment so it wouldn't end, but he'd sadly already come to the conclusion time stopped for no one, not even someone out of time.
Ron was dishing food onto everyone's plates.
"That's how I love to celebrate," James snickered as he settled back into his seat next to his wife.
Harry explained Dumbledore was the man to be grateful to, only just managing to stop himself adding it would have been nice if he'd just looked at him once, but that sounded too childish.
"I don't find that childish at all," Sirius pushed his hair out of his face just in time for a frown to reappear there as he thought back to Dumbledore again. "He really was acting off right there, couldn't be bothered to look at you once that whole time. That's most certainly not normal."
Harry wished that nasty tingling sensation would vanish already instead of agreeing with Sirius.
As he thought this, the scar on his forehead burned so badly that he clapped his hand to it.
Lily jolted in surprise of reading that, knowing if she hadn't just cut the boys off seconds ago that would have as they all paled for this being mentioned again while Harry's smile flickered before vanishing entirely as he was reminded of that.
Sirius was entirely ready to get up and start the jig up all over again before he realized Harry was trying to sit so close to him, and decided for now the best course of action was just to remind his pup everything would turn out okay by staying right where he was.
Hermione looked at him in concern, but he just muttered it was nothing and that it happened all the time now. No one else had noticed a thing, they were still gloating over Harry's newest escape.
Sirius' frown was starting to make a reappearance as well, feeling like smacking himself upside the head if he really hadn't noticed Harry's moment of pain. What exactly had he been doing not to have seen that?
Remus was thinking the exact same thing, and was honestly even more annoyed with himself he didn't even seem to be in the room. What business had he done that was so important he wouldn't have stuck around the house to hear this news as soon as possible?
Fred, George, and Ginny were still singing, but while Hermione was still looking anxious Ron was saying Dumbledore would probably make an appearance tonight to celebrate with them.
"I sure hope he does," James hated watching his two friends suddenly dim right back down into that somber mood this whole book seemed to be leaving on all of them after just a few moments and vented that by saying, "the man needs a few good words said to him by both Harry and Sirius now."
"Here's hoping," Lily agreed quietly.
Mrs. Weasley corrected her son that most likely not, while setting a whole plate of chicken in front of Harry,
"Did she expect you to eat all that?" Sirius did a very good attempt at putting up a smile back in place.
Harry helped nothing by not answering, still seeming distracted by running his hand over his scar which seemed to be bothering him more this year than any before.
but was cut off by saying anything else by her three kids reaching shouting levels of their chant, which she matched in telling them to shut up.
Over the next few days though, Harry noticed one person in particular didn't seem overjoyed at Harry's return to school.
"Kreacher ruins everybody's good mood," Sirius agreed solemnly.
Sirius had at first congratulated him upon the news like everyone else, but directly after he was hardly seen around Harry or anyone, spending most any moment shut in his mother's room with Buckbeak.
"Oh," Lily uttered by the end as they all looked like they'd been hit in the gut. "Oh Sirius," Lily tried to start, not even sure herself what was going to come out, but Sirius snapped back at once with his eyes flat black.
"Don't you even Evans-"
"Potter," James corrected on instinct, though he too looked ready to say something, Sirius continued even louder-
"Potter then, the both of you." He sat there struggling for a moment to put into words that he didn't want to hear their sympathies on his sad state of a future if he even for a moment was acting like that towards Harry, but at the same time the words just wouldn't come as he could all to easily picture it. The only thing that had gotten him through his summers there were waiting on the letters from his friends, and he no longer even had that in that miserable place. Now he was looking at even more of that away from Harry, and even Remus it seemed as he'd been mentioned there all of three times instead of up Sirius' butt like he'd have hoped his friend would be to keep his mind off where he was.
He was almost grateful he didn't have the chance to say any of that as Remus cut in with an almost gentle scolding, "haven't we been over this. There's no point tearing into him when he isn't treating Harry that way now, he's never going there, so this won't ever happen."
Lily still felt like she should say something to him, either a promise she didn't blame him even if he was secretly wanting that or to offer up some suggestions of how to make this even a bit better, but Sirius was clearly relieved at avoiding this all together so she kept going in hopes the whole topic would pass quickly and they could just be with Harry in school again where hopefully nothing too eventful would happen.
James didn't entirely agree, he was a bit convinced there was something else going on with his best mate entirely and so avoiding Harry was just a byproduct of that, but he supposed his Sirius wouldn't know what anyways and kept his mouth shut, for now.
When Harry pointed this out to his friends one day while the three were cleaning out a cupboard, Hermione's first words were to sternly tell him not to go feeling guilty, Sirius was being selfish if he thought Harry should not be going back to school.
"Hey!" James snapped at once, his eyes flashing with such protection Harry was suddenly grateful his wish had never come true and Hermione wasn't here with them, she'd be getting an ear full from his dad.
He couldn't even think up a defense for her, he'd have liked to snap at her right now as well for speaking of his godfather like that while he was talking about his problems, a little sympathy wouldn't have hurt for as much as she showed towards Kreacher.
Remus was flushed in anger as well, he was almost glad of his absence now as he liked to think if he had been present for that he'd have snapped at Hermione for speaking about Sirius like that. He was many things, yes even selfish at times, but not for such an important matter as Harry continuing going to school.
Lily's lip seemed to be curling a bit in that sneer she so often got when speaking about Snape lately. Hermione had always been a vivacious child when she was speaking of what she thought, but while Lily encouraged and even admired that about her, now she was turning what she thought were her ideas on her friend, and she did not read this bit lightly.
Ron scolded her that was harsh, pointing out she wouldn't want to be shut in this house all alone either.
Sirius blinked sourly at the stupid book, still wishing more than anything he could find something in him to deny that claim...and coming up empty.
Hermione reminded he wouldn't be alone, this was Headquarters, he'd have company over all the time.
"Being around the Order all the time holds nothing to being around family," James hissed under his breath. His most daunting missions he'd ever taken were the extended ones away from his own, even when he did have a partner. That person, while a mutual friend, still couldn't replace who he really wanted to see.
He'd just gotten his hopes up Harry was coming here permanently.
Harry corrected Sirius had never agreed Harry could stay here with him.
"It only would have made you feel like the answer was inevitable," Sirius told Harry quietly, who nodded in agreement, he hadn't really held that against Sirius. He'd never thought Sirius would turn him down, but it was nice to still get a reason.
Hermione wisely said he just hadn't wanted to get his own hopes up all the more.
"Not my choice of words," Lily huffed, "more like pompously."
"She'll be the next Percy if she keeps telling people how they should be feeling," Remus agreed, thinking back to how she'd been acting in third year as well.
He was probably feeling his own guilt, hoping Harry would lose, so that they could both be outcasts.
Harry hadn't felt this angry at Hermione since she'd gotten his firebolt taken away, and this was so much worse than that. Sirius was on the run for the murder of his brother because of a long standing friend who'd left him framed and for dead, while Harry was about to be kicked out of school! They weren't comparable problems, and Sirius would never think to insinuate otherwise!
Harry shot back she was being ridiculous, but Hermione shrugged without remorse as she said she believed Ron's mum might be right, and Sirius seemed to get Harry and his own father confused.
Sirius felt like he'd been slapped. He certainly felt the hot burn rushing his throat and threatening to overflow onto his face through his eyes as he found that was proof of what Molly had said earlier. If even Hermione had caught him doing or saying something-
"That arrogant little shit!" James howled, looking as angry as when Sirius had been sent off to Azkaban without a trial. "He's been living in hell for how many years now, and she goes turning any sign of him wanting to reminisce to Harry about me into him being a loon! For Merlin's sake, he's done nothing but try to do everything for Harry since he got out, has everyone just forgotten that!"
"Prongs." The soft little voice was the only thing that could have cut him off, and James had to work hard to focus on him through blurry red vision to see such a resigned expression.
He wasn't having that as he hissed back, "I'm getting sick and tired of hearing people talk about you like this, when none of them can claim to know you worth a damn. Why am I the only one getting hacked off about this?" He finished more towards Remus than anyone.
"You're not," he said at once in short, clipped sentences to keep his own anger held in, "but you were doing such a good job vocalizing I'd be remiss to cut you off or even add in."
"Stop, please," Sirius cut in with more force before any return could be made. He faltered a bit, knowing he'd catch hell in here if he told them the real reason he couldn't work up the steam over this was because he honestly feared how true it was, so instead he put out, "I just, can't get worked up over thinking of myself in any sense in that future, so I'd rather, you know, not think about it anymore than I can." He finished in a tiny voice, clearly not doing as good a job as he'd intended in keeping his real thoughts out of his tones as James's face suddenly flipped to concern, but Lily seemed to understand best of all as she respected his wishes and wouldn't let anyone say another word as she kept going.
Harry was getting angry as he demanded if she thought his godfather was touched in the head?
Hermione denied that claim, but did say he'd been lonely for a very long time in a simple voice.
Remus had to work very hard not to spit out, 'so that's a sign of insanity now?!' When in all honesty that was the most true thing Hermione had ever said, and no one, clearly not him, seemed to be going out of their way to help Sirius anymore than keeping him at arms distance from the one person who could have made that more bearable.
Mrs. Weasley came in then, asking if they were finished cleaning this cupboard they'd been working on this whole time.
"That's gratitude for you," Sirius muttered just for something new to say and still not looking at anyone.
Ron said bitterly he'd been hoping she'd come to give them a break.
She reminded they'd been so keen on helping the Order, they were doing just that by making this place livable.
Lily gave a hollow laugh as the phrase, 'be careful what you wish for,' flitted across her mind.
Ron grumbled they'd been working like house-elves in here, while Molly just turned to leave.
Hermione rather liked the idea though, saying maybe now he'd take a real interest in SPEW.
Lily had to work very hard to keep the bitterness out of her voice Hermione so easily flipped subjects like that. As if talking about Sirius were inconsequential and instead she could make them hear more about house-elves, again. Those boys clearly cared nothing for her thinking on this, and this one just never seemed to take a hint. They were all in such a bad mood, none of them even had the fun to point out Hermione had just referred to her own organization by Ron's stupid name.
Then she added to herself this could bring more awareness to all Gryffindor's if she sponsored a common room cleanup, all proceeds going to the campaign of course.
"More like she'd have to pay them to be doing any such thing," Sirius sighed as he still couldn't find a smile in himself to put up. It wasn't helping no one, not even Harry, was playing along.
Ron muttered he'd sponsor her to shut up about SPEW, but so only Harry could hear.
Sirius gave an obnoxiously loud laugh for himself just having mimicked Ron, at least making Remus roll his eyes again, something Sirius was confident he'd never grow tired of.
Harry found himself daydreaming about Hogwarts more and more as the end of the holidays approached; he could not wait to see Hagrid again,
Harry had some sad little frown on his face he didn't seem aware of at the mention of that,
to play Quidditch,
and no one noticed him wince slightly as without fail, the other boys managed some small enthusiasm for that word alone.
and to simply stroll across the vast lawns. He was always sure to talk about this when Sirius wasn't in the room.
Sirius wished a Bludger would come knock him stupid already just so he didn't have to see Harry look shameful at that!
The fact was that living at the Headquarters of the anti-Voldemort movement was not nearly as interesting or exciting as Harry would have expected before he'd experienced it.
James ran his hand furiously through his hair as he realized what Hermione had said clearly wasn't going to come back up so he could keep going, and he wasn't even sure if he could have anyways after his brothers pitiful little attempts to deflect him from it. That didn't make his simmering anger feel any better, but he managed a mask that at least resembled his joking tone as he told Harry, "nothing ever is."
Harry had to push through his mind to force himself back into this conversation before he simply responded, "Quidditch," and was thankful a second mentioning of it only left another dull sadness in him he didn't have to examine.
"Okay, most things," he conceded.
Members did still frequently come and go, but Mrs. Weasley always made sure all ears, extendable or not, were no where in the area. No one, not even Sirius, had done a thing to give Harry more information since his first night there.
Harry gave an exaggerated groan and a playful nudge to his godfather that went completely ignored.
On the last day of term, the book lists finally came in.
"Oh wow," Lily blinked in surprise and almost relief at this new topic. "I thought that was just glossed over like last year, hadn't realized you hadn't even gotten them yet."
"What are they playing at sending that the day before school starts," Remus agreed in surprise. "Can you imagine how packed Flourish and Blotts is going to be, everyone trying to get that last book for their Defense class. At least the others the parents could have gotten already."
"You do bring up the fun question of who it's going to be this year," Sirius was really trying to put some enthusiasm into chatting about this, but Harry very clearly did not agree as he pleaded his mother to cut him off and go on, they'd get their answer soon enough, and he already had a bad feeling about it.
Harry was standing on a chair cleaning up some owl droppings from on top of their wardrobe as Ron passed Harry his. He chucked the waste into a basket that swallowed the lot with a belch and accepted his letter.
"One of the few good features in that house," Sirius chuckled, "my favorite part being, it spits whatever you threw in there right back up a few minutes later. Great for saying you cleaned your room so you can scarper and then blame the mess on someone later."
"I can't imagine how someone would find a use for that," Lily told him deadpan.
He opened his letter and found only two new books, the Standard new charms book, and Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard.
"That sounds extraordinarily boring," Sirius snorted, forcing himself to get into this now despite Harry's lack of enthusiasm. "Are you sure you can't come back Moony? At least you wouldn't be caught dead assigning anything that has such a title you'd use it for a pillow."
Remus gave an exaggerated eye roll for what he felt was a stupid question, while James sighed and forced himself to add in as well even if he'd prefer to hold onto his anger some more. "You know, it never even mentioned what book you did assign," with a curious look at Harry.
"We only ever studied out of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them," Harry shrugged, "he didn't assign any other specific books. I was grateful, as the only other thing I'd used it for before then was just to look up some creature I heard an older student mention and I didn't know." He finished himself off with a curious look though before adding on, "how come that's a first year book anyways? Care of Magical Creatures isn't even mandatory."
"It's intended for individual studies," Lily told, "so that you have a basic understanding of magical creatures on hand even if you don't take the class. By making it part of your first school list, someone likes to think that you've cracked it open at some point."
Harry gave a sheepish smile for that, as the only real time he'd ever done much of anything with that book was a few things for Professor Lupin out of it. He'd managed to accidentally rip out a few chapters at some point he'd never bothered repairing, like his section on boggarts for instance, and at the end of his fourth year him and Ron had skimmed through the whole thing by themselves on one of their off periods in one of their silent 'don't want to talk right now' agreements on Harry's part.*
With a now familiar crack, the twins had Apparated themselves into the room. Harry was so used to this, he didn't even fall from his chair.
Sirius really did laugh that time, though he'd yet to fail when mention of them making an appearance so he was at least happy for that consistency.
The two examined the boys lists and found they'd all gotten the same book, all wondering who the person was to assign this new book. George reminding Dumbledore was having a hard time of finding any new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.
"Did it really take them the day before term to pull that together?" Lily asked with honest concern.
"I knew it must be getting harder all the time to get someone in, but this is just getting sad," James agreed with a very pointed look someone was very pointedly ignoring.
Fred said it must be a chore, considering what they knew happened to the most recent ones.
Harry agreed one had been sacked,
"Sacked?" Remus repeated with a snicker. "Really, that's all the reference I get?"
"Besides, he technically quit," Sirius reminded, giving him the stank eye for the reminder as he finished, "with protest."
Remus ignored the jab.
one dead,
"Deserved it," Lily muttered bitterly.
one's memory removed,
"Still my favorite," Remus savored.
and one locked in a trunk for nine months.
James shuddered all over again in renewed horror of that.
Harry agreed it was easy to not want the post.
"You'd think the job was cursed or something, oh wait," Sirius smirked.
"I wonder what happened to the twins teachers before those came along," Remus puzzled.
"Guess something far more boring," James shrugged.
Fred looked around at his youngest brother and asked why he hadn't spoken up, but Ron made no move he'd heard, he was still gaping down at his letter with his mouth hanging open.
"What's got his knickers in a twist?" Remus asked too enthusiastically, anything to get back off that job he honestly wished he'd never taken, it's not like he'd done much good at it that no other competent person could have.
When he got no answer, his brother snatched the letter away to see for himself, and his own mouth fell open as he mouthed the word Prefect.
"You said perfect, right?" James was staring at her oddly. "What's perfect?"
"You heard exactly what she said Prongs," Sirius corrected, his eyes growing steadily wider as the shock sunk in. "Prefect! Oh wow, go Ron!"
Remus was snickering lightly while Lily was shaking her head fondly at these boys, thinking this was most likely similar to how they'd reacted upon Remus' Prefect status as well. A little humor, some congratulations and then trying to move on by looking at her like, 'get on with it.' Clearly they didn't put much of a big deal into the matter, which made sense considering how often they went through their life ignoring any and all resemblance of authority.
Neither twin could believe this, it must have been a mistake!
"Now that was just hurtful," Lily couldn't stop her twitching lips as she tried to read in Fred's mocking tone, perhaps not doing it as well as the boys, but still almost hitting that playful way she imagined them using.
They turned to look at Harry and insisted everyone thought it would be him, looking at Harry like he'd tricked them himself.
"Harry would never do such a thing!" James gasped in mock outrage. "He's going to be far too busy avoiding Ron the rest of the year to join him!"
"You were a Headboy though," Harry suddenly blinked as he realized this. "Do you not need to be a Prefect to get that?"
"Nah," Sirius rolled his eyes, "I honestly have no idea how they pick them, I feel like they just pull a random name out of the Sorting Hat, it makes more sense than going with any 'qualifications,' which neither of them had to be holding any such title."
"Thank you Padfoot," Remus snorted.
George did remind his brother all the mad things Harry had done must have left him out of it. Fred readily agreed, saying Harry had his priorities right and kept himself in trouble enough for this not to have been his.
"I must applaud them on seeing this in the proper lighting, someone I know never did see it that same way," Sirius said tragically while Remus hadn't stopped laughing this whole time for how much of a flashback he was getting to his friends ribbing on him through the whole, very long, train ride when he'd told them. It had been almost a relief to attend his Prefect duties first, at least they'd had enough time to laugh it off with each other so by the time he came back they'd almost been ready to ignore the whole instance.
George's next thought was to realize how revolting their mother was going to be when she heard about this.
Some of Lily's humor did fade at that, while the boys just laughed harder, though a bit harsher in remembrance of Molly especially so fresh after Hermione's pot-shots. She however was thinking the twins could show just a bit more of both praising and picking on their brother at once, hadn't they learned after they'd dealt with Percy sometimes words could hurt after all those years. They were making the same mistake with their younger brother as they had been with their elder one in treating him like this just because he'd gotten an accomplishment he'd had no real control over. They didn't necessarily have to approve of it, but couldn't they at least not take the mickey out of him for it.
Ron, still with his mouth hanging open, handed the badge to Harry as if in confirmation it was real. Harry gave it a brief examination to see the exact same one he'd seen on Percy's the first time they'd met..
"Which he wore for the next two years straight as well," Harry muttered in remembered disgust, managing to ignore the old conundrum he'd always had at school of having twenty-two Prefects at once running around, plus the Head Boy and Girl, not to mention all the teachers always seeming to keep an eye on all things. It really did boggle his mind how the Marauders got away with anything like that, though it must have helped in fact to have a man on the inside.
The door opened with a bang, and Hermione came in squealing with delight about how she'd gotten- then she spotted what Harry was holding and shrieked that they were both Prefects now!
"Wow, both of his friends got it!" James's tone came out much harsher now as he was still waiting for an apology from her as well as Molly to Sirius' face. "I'm thinking she'll do worse than Ron, she'll be too busy with all her studies to deal with Prefect duties. Least he'll enjoy the attention it gets him from some of the younger students."
"So long as he doesn't let it go to his head," Sirius said a little uneasily, still remembering last year and how Ron got because he thought he wasn't recognized enough. Now the opposite problem could occur.
Harry quickly corrected while pushing it back to his friend this was Ron's.
Hermione at first didn't understand,
"That timing though," Remus muttered at how awkward this could get.
before she turned surprised on him to ask if he was sure?
"Ouch," Sirius winced hard for that one. "Yes he's sure woman, the schools never sent someone the wrong envelope before." He got out quickly before anyone could make a more snide comment about her.
Ron's expression turned defiant as he stated that was his name on the school's letter.
Hermione continued to stand there bewildered for a moment,
"Wow, she came skipping in when she thought it was Harry's but now it's Ron's and she's actually at a loss for words, for once," James huffed.
before finally beginning to congratulate him. This was really-
George input for her unexpected.
Hermione tried to say that wasn't true, Ron had...
the door opened again for Mrs. Weasley carrying clothes, cutting off Hermione's trailing words.
"Saved by the Mum," Sirius looked a bit relieved, that couldn't have been going any more awkwardly.
She wasn't surprised by everyone holding the envelopes, Ginny had already told her letters were in. If they passed them all to her, she'd go into Diagon Alley today and fetch it all for them. Then she turned on Ron and asked if he'd like a new color for the pajamas she was going to get him, the ones he had now were far too short.
"Why does she bother asking? I thought she always gave him maroon just to color coordinate her kids by this point," James snarked, clearly his mood getting worse now that both people of his ire were in the same room, and hardly even reacting when Lily pinched him to get him to stop.
George said for his brother he should have red and gold to match his badge, while Molly rolling up a pair of maroon socks didn't understand what he meant.
James gave Lily a pointed look which she ignored.
Fred emphasized Ron's new prefect badge, his every tone conveying the worst news.
It took a moment for the words to get past her preoccupation with pajamas.
Sirius got a happy snort of laughter for that sentence existence, after all pajamas were a very fascinating conversation topic.
She turned in confusion Ron wasn't a -
"He is as of five seconds ago," Lily giggled.
Then she spotted the badge in Ron's hand, and squealed with delight! Saying how wonderful and perfect this was, that was everyone in the family!
"Hey!" All three Marauders yelped indignantly on behalf of the twins, Sirius persisting the point, "what happened to the other two that are in the room?"
Lily nibbled on her lip for a moment before continuing, feeling just as bad for the twins as she would have if Ron hadn't gotten this reaction. Ginny hadn't even made the status yet, so she really wasn't sure if that was the right thing for Molly to say there.
James wanted to ask if that meant even Charlie had been one, but he honestly wasn't sure if this should be counted as Molly had just brushed aside two of her kids, she might have done it for three in that moment.
George demanded what he and his twin were, neighbors, while Molly brushed past him and threw her arms over Ron, seeming not to have heard him.
"Wow," James rubbed at his shoulder with his own hurt filled eyes. "I'm not even a Weasley and that hurt my soul."
"You'd be just as snarky if she tried to play it off and not single out one of her children for doing something so good," Lily sighed, hating having to deal with her husband when he was in his petty moods, which seemed to be happening more often than not of late.
She kept going on about how proud she was, and his father and brothers would be to! All while Fred and George pantomimed vomiting.
"He'll be lucky if they don't do far worse to him," Remus muttered, knowing the twins, like his friends, might just take this as a new challenge to prank their little brother and see how well they could get away with it. They'd yet to clearly be doing things to Ron at school, but he wouldn't put it past them for this to be a start.
Mrs. Weasley did not notice as she held eyes only for her youngest son, continuing to kiss his face, who was quickly growing as scarlet as his new badge.
"That woman has no shame, the boys in front of his friends," James grumbled.
"Howler," Lily reminded, clearly Molly held absolutely nothing of the world outside her circle.
He finally managed to stop her stream, only for her to continue by asking what he'd like.
Ron at first couldn't dare to understand, as she exclaimed he had to have a reward for this!
Lily crooned, just a bit, as she truly did see the value in doing this for her kids that had done such an accomplishment. It certainly made sense, even if she felt for the twins as one of them would have always been left out of this tradition. There really was just no winning with this.
She at first offered some new dress robes, before the twins reminded they'd done that one, clearly regretting their moment of generosity.
"It was part of Harry's doing, so I forgive their moment of kindness." James rolled his eyes.
"You know, I just realized, Ron and Hermione weren't there when you did that," Sirius pointed out just to change the subject. "Did you ever tell them what you did for the twins?"
"No," Harry shrugged, the thought had never crossed his mind. "I suppose they just told Ron they did it so they wouldn't have the humiliation of seeing him in them again. They were so awful Ron just believed them on the spot."
She at once switched to some other things he could want, like a cauldron, or a new rat, he had always favored Scabbers-
Lily winced hard at getting out the name of that old thing which effectively managed to turn every person in here into a gargoyle like face.
but Ron cut her off instead asking for a broom.
Her enthusiasm faded a bit, broomsticks were very expensive.
"Go big or go home," Remus winced as he easily saw both sides to what both parties were feeling in that moment.
Ron quickly tacked on not the newest model, just a new one for a change...
Her smile was right back as she agreed of course. Then she left the room in high spirits, saying she really had to get going now if she had all this shopping plus that.
They were all surprised she'd so easily agreed to this, but then the boys were suddenly bouncing in place with pleasure as they were begging Lily to get to the part where they hoped to find what exact model Molly would get!
Still muttering happily to herself how she was all a dither.
Lily was giggling herself by the end of that, looking lovingly at her son for a moment and knowing she'd be just as bad if he had been made one. She did a double take in surprise as she saw how off his face looked, like he was really thinking about something, but she supposed it may still be mention of that rat like the lingering darkness in the boys still showed so she didn't press him.
The twins hardly waited until she was out of sight before turning falsely anxious looks on him, asking if it was alright they didn't kiss him as well?
George at least offered they could curtsey.
"That I would like to see," James snickered.
Ron just told them to shut up, while Fred gave an evil grin and asked what if they didn't? Was their baby brother going to put them in detention?
"No, no," Sirius corrected at once, a look of intrigue now dominant. "That is what I want to see! Hermione tried it last year, now I really want to know who would win, the twins or Ron. With Harry as backup of course," he finished with a smirk at his godson who did not show a hint of listening.
"My money's on Harry and Ron," Remus kept going, clearly not noticing the same thing. "The twins owe Harry big, if he asks them to take a dive and fall into detention, they just might for him."
"I don't think it'll ever come to that," James rolled his eyes. "I can't think of a moment where Ron cares enough to go at them that hard, he's hardly a ruler himself when it comes to school boundaries."
Hermione snapped he just might if they didn't watch themselves.
"I feel like that's more her part than his," James sniffed, there she went again, speaking for everyone.
The twins burst out laughing while Ron told Hermione to drop it.
They kept going as if Ron hadn't spoken, Fred speaking to his brother about how they'd better watch their step this year, George agreeing he was shaking in his boots at the thought. The two concluding their rule breaking days were over.
Then they vanished with a loud crack.
"They're off to a great start," Remus snorted.
Hermione shot a nasty look at the ceiling where laughter could still be heard from them as she told Ron not to pay them any mind, they were just jealous.
"I don't think jealous is the right word," James grinned, "but I'd think something was entirely wrong with them if they didn't have some fun with Ron about this. Then again, I'd think Hermione wasn't acting like herself if she didn't say what others are thinking as well," he finished with a huff.
Ron disagreed, they'd always said anyone who was a prefect was a prat.
"Am I the only one remembering Bill?" Lily chuckled, thinking he hadn't sounded one bit like a prat.
He cheered himself up though that at least he was getting a new broom out of it, and then decided to himself he'd like a Cleansweep model.
"Not a bad model at all to choose from," Sirius snapped away from watching Harry curiously, who hadn't pipped up in ages now, and still wasn't showing much interest in this, which meant he must really be thinking of something in his head.
"You think he'll put it to any good use?" James said wistfully as he remembered a large portion of his agitation last year. "There's a spot open on the Quidditch team with Wood gone, and assuming Anglina or one of the other Chasers might have graduated, that could mean some new potential on the field."
Harry did blink a bit at this news and looked around curiously to find them still talking about Ron just getting the broom, so he smiled happily and forced himself to engage in his own hopes that this would happen with a distant smile the whole time before Lily cut off the Quidditch talk for her own sanity.
He jogged out of the room to go tell his mum this, while Harry was left alone with Hermione, whom he didn't feel like looking at all of a sudden.
"Least I'm not the only one holding a grudge," James grumbled to himself, half wishing Harry had said more to his friend in defense of his godfather earlier, but he'd long accepted Harry was not the confrontational type much.
Hermione began to say something tentatively, but he cut her off with a hearty congratulations he didn't really seem to feel.
"Oh," they all muttered, looking to him in surprise and quickly away again as Harry's eyes widened with panic, realizing what he'd just been thinking about all this, and how that most likely was fixing to end up in this stupid book!
She began again, asking if she could borrow Hedwig, to send an owl to her parents and tell them about this.
He agreed at once, keeping his back to her as she took his owl from he room, and he sat down by himself on the bed, his mind spinning. The only noise left was the waste basket spitting the owl droppings back up.
Sirius opened his mouth to repeat his joke, but in fact performed a small miracle by instead taking James's small little head shake as warning and closing it again.
He had forgotten prefect badges were on the way, far to anxious with his upcoming trial.
"A daunting enough fear, you're forgiven," Remus muttered under his breath, as they all now realized they were hearing exactly what Harry had just been thinking without having shared. No one had really missed how silent and speculative he'd just gotten, but they'd left him alone with his head for a moment since it clearly had nothing to do with poking at his memories. Now, well this just felt a bit invasive as shame began burning up his face. They were all starting to feel more than just pity for him, it really couldn't be fun for him not to have had a single private moment while he was here.
Lily suddenly stopped altogether and began running her thumb down the length of the page, and the moment Harry realized what she was doing, he took a deep breath and told her, "don't bother skipping, I guess you lot may as well hear it."
"We don't have to," James said at once to no one disagreeing. "Honestly, it doesn't even occur to me half the time, but really Harry, you can tell us to shut it at any time for hearing every single thing you think."
He took another deep breath, but looking more accepting than defeating now, insisted, "you've heard far worse than my being jealous for a moment by now, may as well get through it."
Lily waited a moment longer to realize he truly meant it, before going on.
But if he had remembered, what would he have expected? A small little voice in his head pointed out, not this.
James went to say something, but Lily gave him a small kick to get him to stop, she was trying to get through this as fast as she could. Up to this point the books, while centered around him, hadn't exactly delved into his head quite as much as this moment, and she was at least going to try and stop her boys commenting on his private thoughts no matter her opinion on them.
Harry buried his face in his fingers as he couldn't deny that, wondering now if he really thought himself arrogant like Malfoy.
Sirius didn't take the hint as he rolled his eyes and said, "not even close. Thinking you should have gotten something doesn't automatically make you a self-entitled little berk. It's how you act when you do or don't get it. You aren't going to treat Ron any differently now that he has it, so you're fine pup," he finished with utter confidence, at least making Harry smile again.
Did he really believe he was better than Ron? No, was his own instant rebuttal. Still Harry anxiously probed himself to admit he was better at Quidditch, but that was the only thing, they were equal in class. Outside of lessons though, both Ron and Hermione had risked worse than expulsion with him on those adventures.
"The fact that you refer to those as adventures, rather than life or death moments that you really shouldn't have been in except for extraordinary circumstances, really gets me in this moment," Lily muttered.
Not at the very end though, Harry had always done those alone. Especially in that graveyard...
"Thank you for detailing all of that," Remus shivered, though they all had at some particular moment Harry had brought up.
All those bitter feelings over the summer swelled in him again, how he'd done far more than them!
Lily had to fight her own insistence now not to say anything in comfort for her son. He was having a human moment after all, but she restrained herself from pointing out again badges weren't chosen because of things you'd done. Honestly no student had a clear idea who was chosen and why, it was simply the Headmaster's decision, and he really could be picking at random or for any arbitrary reason.
The small little voice was back, pointing out badges weren't necessarily chosen because of dangerous situations you'd lived through.
"I really love the way you worded that though," James gave a bit of a laugh.
Harry buried his face again to remember Fred's words about no one would make Ron a prefect, and Harry snorted with disgust at himself.
"That was a bit harsh," Sirius gave Harry a sympathetic pat he still didn't really feel like he deserved. "I'll bet a ton of other kids are having far worse reactions than just a bit of jealousy for their friends getting something. Imagine how Malfoy's going to act when he didn't get one and Ron did," he finished triumphantly. That did make Harry laugh again, albeit a bit more held back than he understood why.
Ron hadn't asked for this, nor was it his fault. Harry was not going to sit around sulking, nor mocking his friend behind his back for this, just because Harry had been beaten at something.
"The thought never even crossed our mind," James rolled his eyes, causing Harry to flush anew as he realized just how well those around him seemed to know him in these few short days, and it didn't really seem it was just because of a bunch of books.
Harry could hear footsteps on the stairs again and immediately put a much more welcoming smile in place as Ron reentered, telling his best friend congratulations. The smile disappeared from Ron's face instead.
"Well geez, clearly he didn't want to be congratulated," Remus frowned in surprise.
Ron at once said his own surprise, he'd thought it would be Harry.
"Everyone thought it would be Harry, even Harry," Sirius mocked, pleased Harry stuck his tongue out at him for the picking like normal again.
Harry echoed Fred from earlier, saying he'd caused to many problems to get picked.
Ron agreed with a laugh while beginning to pack up his things. He seemed to be having a bit of a problem though, as he kept moving the badge around. First to his pocket, then the nightstand, and then putting it onto his schools robes and gazing for a moment at the red on black.
"He's acting better than I was," Remus smirked in remembrance, "I hid it in with my knickers until we were all on the train and it was moving before I managed to spit out the words. Which I regretted, since it only then occurred to me they could pitch me out of a moving train."
"The thought occurred to me," Sirius agreed, "but only because you actually dropped a pair of those on my head while getting the badge out to show us."
Only when Fred and George dropped in and offered to attach it to his forehead with a Permanent Sticking Charm did he wrap it tenderly in his maroon socks and lock it in his trunk.
"I wonder if we'll get a return on the badge pranks," James said curiously.
"I'm having trouble picturing it," Remus shrugged. "Despite their jokes already, I can't see them having at Ron every opportunity like they had Percy, mostly because I don't see him dogging the twins to deserve it."
"I wish I could be following the twins around," Sirius sighed wistfully. Remus grimaced at his own choice of words, never admitting to his dying breath he'd done it on purpose to keep the good mood alive.
Mrs. Weasley came back from Diagon Alley and was at once pounced upon by her youngest son, but she scolded even while handing him his new broom she'd have dinner ready in no time and now wasn't the time for him to be using that.
He still ripped the wrapping off the moment she was out of sight.
"A proper response," James giggled in agreement.
When they did make their way downstairs, it was to find a large banner already in place congratulating Ron and Hermione on being the new prefects, while Mrs. Weasley was looking in a better mood than Harry had seen her all holiday.
"That is so sad," Lily murmured to herself, really thinking back to how she'd acted towards Sirius now, and seeing the strained mother protecting her family as opposed to this side where she saw Sirius as her family and Molly the threat. It was hard to keep both perspectives in line at once, but she tried her best to shake off the last of her ill will towards the woman, even if she did maintain Sirius hadn't deserved what was thrown at him.
She explained to them they'd be having more of a party tonight, she'd invited everyone along. Some of the guests were already there in fact, as she made her way over to Moody and told him she'd been wanting to ask for ages if he could take a peek inside the desk in the drawing room to see what was in there. They were sure it was a boggart, but just in case it was something worse.
Moody agreed at once, turning his magical eye in that direction while repeating her instructions, and agreed yes they were right on the creature inside.
"I'd actually like to watch that," Remus said eagerly like he'd just been invited to his own show. "See what Moody's Boggart would be before he dispelled it."
Harry agreed, honestly hoping that was exactly what had happened. Why would he be getting such a bad feeling from such a silly little thing like a boggart, those hadn't frightened him in ages.
Molly insisted she'd do it later, for now he should be enjoy himself down here, pointing out this was a party while gesturing at the banner.
"Really? I wouldn't have thought he'd notice," James rolled his eyes.
Moody turned his normal eye on Ron now, his magical one remaining out the side of his head, and Harry got the eerie feeling it was on him as he moved towards Sirius and Lupin.
"Glad we can be of some help, even if it is just to protect you from scary Alastor," Sirius fixed a smile in place, Harry really starting to feel bad both continued to twitch uneasily whenever they were mentioned.
He could still hear though, as Moody congratulated Ron for this new authority, saying Dumbledore must not be worried about him withstanding jinxes.
"Well he's not wrong," Remus blinked in surprise at such advice while James and Sirius got a chuckle out of that.
Ron looked unsure how to take this news, but was saved answering by the arrival of his father and eldest brother, who'd also brought along Mundungus.
"Why?" Lily balked at the idea.
"Suppose they ran into him for any number of reasons, and I can guess Arthur was just too polite to not invite him," James shrugged.
He was wearing a long overcoat that was oddly lumpy and declined the offer to remove it.
"Because that's not suspicious at all," Sirius said with chipper.
Tonks was telling Hermione and Ginny that she'd never had the honor of being prefect, her Head of House said she lacked certain qualities.
"The fact that she asked for a reason really makes me question her sanity," Remus smirked.
"I remember asking McGonagall who possessed her to make Remus one," James reminded, "she just told me to move along."
"What house was she in?" Sirius suddenly demanded curiously, thinking it would be interesting if she'd been yet another Slytherin.
"Hufflepuff," Harry informed, she'd mentioned Sprout as her head of house to Hermione at some previous time.
Sirius smiled all the wider his little cousin had broken even more traditions instead.
Ginny asked what that could be, and Tonks happily said the ability to behave herself.
Causing everyone to burst out laughing.
Ginny laughed, while Hermione looked as though she did not know whether to smile or not and compromised by taking an extra large gulp of Butterbeer and choking on it.
James scoffed heavily, even more annoyed than usual at Hermione's inability to laugh at anything, even a harmless joke!
Ginny turned and asked Sirius next.
Sirius pretended to faint at the very thought.
He gave a bark-like laughter and said no one would have been insane enough to do a thing like that, he was in detention with James too much. It was Lupin who was the good boy and got the honor.
"Good boy?" Remus asked of him, poking him slightly as he was still theatrically slumped over. "That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said about me."
"Wasn't saying it to your face, but to others, and you know I always covered for you," he told while still miming unconsciousness causing the others to just laugh harder.
Lupin jumped in saying he was under the impression Dumbledore had done it to try and exert some control over his friends.
"If that's what he was going for, he began with a lost cause," Remus said in surprise, as the idea had yet to even occur to him that's what it had been for.
"Wonder what made you think that," James agreed, "we all thought it was Dumbledore's subtle way of rewarding our winning personalities and keeping the school's spirits up."
"You lot and your fat heads," Lily muttered.
He'd failed dismally.
Harry suddenly found himself in an even better mood, his father hadn't been a prefect either!
"Best hope neither of them pass along my Head Boy badge then," James muttered for Lily alone, who agreed. It was apparently a good thing he'd forgotten Hagrid mentioning this right now.
Ron was rhapsodizing about his new broom to anybody who would listen.
"Honestly, his mother's lucky he was just talking about it rather than trying to be on it in the house," Sirius chuckled.
While Hermione was chatting with Lupin about elf rights.
"I'd rather go back to hearing about the broom," Remus muttered, everyone else looking just as disappointed except Lily, who hushed them so she could see a conversation she'd actually been looking forward to. If anyone could get through to Hermione how she was acting regarding house-elves, she'd put money on Remus.
She was saying how the segregation on them was the same as werewolves, stemming back to how wizards thought they were superior to other creatures...
"That's all we get," Lily pouted as she saw the next line changed topics.
"I wasn't really listening to them," Harry said apologetically.
Molly and Bill were having their usual argument about Bill's hair, the mother even asking of Harry that wasn't it too long.
Harry was alarmed at being asked,
"Boys," Lily muttered.
and quickly slid away to where Fred and George and Mundungus were in the corner.
"Now we're tuning into the important conversations," Sirius' grin turned eager to hear about this.
When Mundungus saw him coming he stopped talking at once, but Fred quickly said Harry was good to hear this, he was their financial backer.
"That's an excellent term for that," James brightened, before turning a calculating look onto his friend and saying, "hey Moony-"
"Don't even start you," he shot back without looking over, so James put a pin in the idea for later.
Fred eagerly held out what was in their hands, Harry finding tiny shriveled up black pods that were making a rattling noise though they were still.
None of them considered themselves Herbology experts, the closest one was Lily who could recognize a wide variety of plants for her potions, but they were all curious to hear what the twins had gotten their hands on now.
George explained they were Venomous Tentacula seeds, but since they were a Class C Non-Tradeable Substance, it was really hard to get them outside of people like their friend here.
"What on earth would they need those for?" Lily yipped in concern, thinking they could get themselves killed by just one little accident.
"Well they'll certainly get sick enough by them," James said uneasily, hoping for more details as well.
Fred offered ten Galleons for them, but Mundungus corrected he wouldn't take less than twenty with all the trouble these tings had caused him.
George gave a heavy laugh, saying that was a worse deal than the time he'd tried to sell them a bag of Knarl quills for six Sickles.
"Now I know he's been off his rocker," James shook his head in disbelief at that one.
Harry warned someone could be watching, like Moody's magical eye.
"Really should count our blessings he isn't around more I guess," Sirius chuckled.
All three agreed it was best to wrap this up, and then they all departed, only Harry staying in the corner as he watched Mrs. Weasley with a sudden fear. He'd never informed her or anyone he'd given the twins his Triwizard Winnings to start their joke shop, and it suddenly occurred to him what if their mother, who greatly disapproved of this idea, had a row with her kids about it. What if it caused another Percy-like estrangement? Would she still care about Harry in the same way if she knew he was helping them along with something she found so unsuitable.
Lily had already tried to instill into her son how unlikely she found that, and while Harry was looking anxious again at the returning topic, he'd yet to really start working himself up over it so they let him be on this one for now.
He was dragged out of his own thinking by hearing Kingsley say he'd been sure Dumbledore would make Potter a prefect, while Lupin returned he was sure the man had his reasons for doing otherwise.
"I don't think you were too enamored with Hermione's house-elf topic if you're already hanging around someone else," Sirius said, easily slipping into another topic to take that look off of Harry.
"He always thinks Dumbledore has his reasons," Lily muttered to herself.
Kingsley persisted it would have shown the world he had confidence in Potter though-
"Or it could have done worse, and made Dumbledore really seem he was playing favoritism with Harry," Remus shook his head. "Nah, best to not let you have this one honestly." Giving the others a moment of odd amusement as they were sure that's what Remus would have said back to Kingsley at the time.
"Not like I ever really wanted it," Harry shrugged in agreement, the idea had never crossed his mind until it was gone.
Harry did not look around, not wanting them to know he'd overheard.
"If they didn't want you hearing," James rolled his eyes at this idea, "they wouldn't have had the conversation with you in the room.
Though not remotely hungry, he followed Mundungus back towards the table. His pleasure in the party had evaporated as quickly as it had come; he wished he were upstairs in bed.
Both Lily and James were leaning into each other just that little bit closer than was strictly necessary, just for that moment to remind each other they were here now instead of a constant source of some painful memory for Harry. The cheer of knowing that little bit more about his father had been tarnished by his now fear of what the woman he looked to as a mother could think about him. There was just no winning.
He heard Molly yawning and telling her husband she was going to take care of that Boggart and turn in, telling Harry goodnight as she passed.
"Why did she only say goodnight to you," Sirius quickly pointed out just to give Harry some moment of singularity in Molly's eyes which he had clearly been wanting a moment ago, but now he looked all the more distracted and distant as he was clearly trying to ignore some bad feeling.
He got caught by Mad-Eye next pulling him to the side and saying he wanted to show him something.
"Well this should be interesting," Remus said, Moody singling Harry out could be, fun...
It turned out to be a photo, original Order of the Phoenix according to Moody.
"Wow, don't think we've had this picture taken yet," Sirius blinked in surprise.
"I'm surprised Moody has such a thing, you'd think it would be considered a security risk," Lily agreed. "Even we're not entirely sure who everyone in the Order is."
"Guess Dumbledore may have asked for one at some point, and no one turns him down," James muttered without much enthusiasm, as he'd already been keeping a mental list of all the people he'd heard of dying already. He was entirely sure he didn't want to hear much more about this.
He'd found it the other night since Podmore hadn't returned his Invisibility Cloak and he'd been looking for his spare, and he'd decided to bring this picture along to share. He began pointing people out, like himself, whose nose was still intact at the time.
Harry had already once seen Moody before his face was really a mess, but even seeing it again a photo right next to the real thing could be a shock for his mind.
Then Dumbledore, Dedalus Diggle, Marlene McKinnon, while he added in she was found two weeks after this was taken dead with her whole family.
Lily paled to a ghastly white color and couldn't seem to keep going for a moment, just concentrating instead on that warm spot her husband provided while Sirius tried wildly to point out, "well, now we have a time frame! Dumbledore asks for a group shot, we put Marlene on extra watch!" He said this too loudly, but it gave Lily enough of a reminder this hadn't happened yet to another person she knew, she could still be saved.
Then there was Frank and Alice Longbottom, whom Harry could have picked out all on his own as the woman he was seeing so resembled his dorm mate Neville.
Sirius ran his hand through his hair bitterly as he remembered the details of that being recounted, of who all had been involved. He was now more than jokingly considering asking Lily to please skip this part already, it didn't feel worth it to hear how their friends were soon going to turn out.
Moody adding for himself better dead than what happened to them, then flipping to Emmeline Vance, Lupin, Benjy Fenwick, they'd only ever found bits of him.
James retched and couldn't help but recoil from her for just a moment.
As well as Edgar Bones, late brother of Amelia, she was the last of her line now because they'd gotten his family, Sturgis Podmore, Caradoc Dearborn, he'd vanished six months after this and nobody ever found a body, Hagrid, Elphias Doge, though Moody had forgotten he used to wear that dumb hat.
Remus had to blink slowly, but he couldn't quite erase his blurry vision even as he tried to picture Doge without his hat considering he wore it all the time. This was by far the easiest thing to be comparing in these time frames though, so he forced himself to linger on this rather than having to keep listening to these wretched details.
Gideon Prewett, it took five Death Eaters to kill him and his brother Fabian, they died like heroes,
Harry tried desperately to think of some way to erase those haggard looks from their faces, and blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "so the Weasley's aren't in the Order now?" Figuring Molly and her husband would be mentioned next to her brother.
"Oh, err, no they're not. I think they were offered, but both declined. I really don't know much about them honestly, only met them once through Gideon," Lily murmured.
Next was Aberforth, Dumbledore's brother,
"Wow, what?" James had to snap himself back into paying actual attention to what Lily was saying just in time to hear that, and he frowned at her in confusion. "So I guess Dumbledore does have a brother that's in the Order."
"Wonder what he gets up to," Sirius agreed with honest curiosity, thinking this group meeting might be worth it just to meet this man of such a famous wizard. He was suddenly sure this Aberforth had all sorts of amusing, blackmail, stories about a younger Dumbledore.
Harry could feel a bead of sweat beginning to form on the back of his neck with mentions to this, of Dumbledore and his sibling, or more than one...
that was the only time Moody had met him, strange man. Then there was Dorcas Meadowes, she'd been killed by Voldemort personally,
This group had never even heard that name, and it was a kind distraction just for a second to try and theorize how they could go to Dumbledore and warn this woman as well without gaining suspicion of how they'd know such a thing.
Sirius, when his hair was still short,
Sirius brushed his hand through his now shoulder length hair curiously, wondering just how long it was in Harry's time.
and the last three on the list hit Harry the hardest of all, his smiling parents, along with Peter Pettigrew.
Lily's voice hitched, and then failed her all together at that coming up twice in this chapter now. The hurt was always sitting there in the back of her mind, waiting to pounce even without someone explicitly bringing it up, now she really could feel a traitorous tear slipping through before she brushed it furiously away and kept going entirely too loud, but it was all she could do, otherwise she'd break down. She couldn't even bare to glance at her boys again or she'd lose herself entirely.
Harry could think of nothing to say, and looked to Moody who had the expression he'd just given Harry a treat. Harry at once tried to retreat out of here, and was saved an excuse by Sirius calling over what Moody had there, giving Harry the chance to slip away as Moody turned to answer.
Sirius ran a shaking hand down his face, but the words failed of him trying to say he'd been looking out for his pup, perhaps seen something of Moody talking to him bothering him, it was just hard to pretend he was thinking of anything except removing a spine from a spineless creature.
He didn't know why it had been such a shock, he'd seen pictures of his parents before, after all, and he'd met Wormtail.
Remus could still feel the permanent mark those encounters had left on them all.
It was mostly just having them sprung on him like that, and he began to grow angry as he thought no one would appreciate that! He kept thinking of all those, left timeliness in the picture, so many dead...Moody may have found that interesting, but Harry found it disturbing.
"Glad we're not the only ones," James whispered for himself, but Harry heard anyways and they met eyes just for a moment in silent understanding.
He went silently back towards his room, but stopped curiously outside the drawing room as he heard sobbing.
Lily shifted uncomfortably, she was still reading in a too strained and tight voice, and if she was forced to deal with anymore bad news she'd likely toss the book away and turns into James chest any moment just to be done with her feelings for a change. Who else could be having a breakdown now? It was her burning desire to try and help anyone out if they were in pain that managed to help push her own away so she could find out.
Harry pushed the door open curiously, and found in the center of the room, a dead Ron.
Sirius really almost did faint in surprise as scenarios began flipping through his head, of Death Eater's storming in and catching Ron off guard while he'd snuck upstairs to check on his broom, of the poor kid being attacked by something in that house they hadn't managed to exterminate yet, his falling down those stairs and someone coming across his body-
Harry gasped wildly and lunged forward to snatch the book away from her. He'd just had to relive the sharp experience of his parents being out of his life all over again, he couldn't stand losing someone else!
"Harry breath," Remus reminded coolly, even if his face was still a bit too pale from what he'd just heard from Moody and the honest shock of that scenario ever being a thing. "There was a boggart in this room, remember. Molly wandered off to go get rid of it, I think you just walked in on some bad timing."
Lily got the book back from her son while he was still wavering with understanding this, and quickly kept going even more loudly than before, every last bit of her hoping beyond all hope that was really what was going on!
Harry stumbled in fear, his brain flooding with ice this couldn't be real!
Then the sobbing continued, and he looked wildly around to find Mrs. Weasley cowering in the corner, and as he watched, she pointed her wand and got out Riddikulus.
The book nearly fell out of Lily's shaking hands, a combination of relief at such a drastic misunderstanding and still lingering sorrow of her own for this mother whom she now completely could sympathize with. She had so many she cared about, it was only natural this was any mothers boggart.
Harry watched those around him relax even as he couldn't shake this nasty feeling that his fear still pounding through him wasn't so unfounded, he had a very good reason to be worried about a dead Weasley...
Crack, the body changed to Bill instead, eyes open but lifeless. Mrs. Weasley kept sobbing harder than ever as she tried the spell again, but instead crack, it was now Mr. Weasley with blood dripping from his mouth.
Harry choked and shook his head furiously to push away something so powerful it was rearing up inside him to strike him down now if he lingered on that idea.
She kept trying in-between broken no's, but instead crack, dead twins,
James was running his fingers in agitation through his scalp as he fought whether to break in and ask if the boggart had managed to create both at once or was he just simplifying another two bodies. He came to his own silent conclusion it must be the first, even in death Molly couldn't picture the twins apart it seemed.
crack, dead Percy, crack, dead Harry.
Lily's voice wavered and nearly failed her as she was forced to imagine the same thing, while James wrapped an arm tight around her in comfort and a sudden tightening in his throat finally dispelling the majority of his anger at Molly. She'd still said some way to harsh things to his best friend, but at least now he could see she'd truly meant it in her heart of seeing his son as her own, and he couldn't really hate someone like that.
Harry shot at her to just get out of here, let someone else handle it, but then Lupin, Sirius, and Moody came into the room behind him.
Harry almost felt his own sob of relief escape him for this finally being cut off, he just couldn't imagine if that thing had kept going, he'd be forced to see even more people he cared about. Maybe even Ginny- his left hand suddenly spasmed and he clasped them tightly together in his lap instead to ignore whatever that moment was.
Lupin grasped the situation at once and shot his own spell, and while the boggart at first turned on him instead and changed shape to a silvery orb, he'd put enough force into the spell it finally vanished.
Molly was still a crying mess on the floor as Lupin went over to her, and the next second she was sobbing her heart into his shoulder.
Lily was fidgeting with the last page of this chapter, finally, as she all too easily envisioned that. She wondered if Remus was having any other flashbacks to comforting a redheaded mother in fear for her child.
He tried comforting it was just a meaningless boggart, but she brokenly told him she saw that, all the time! All of them dead...she dreamed about it!
Remus was staring vacantly at nothing as those words registered. Molly wasn't the only one who had those kinds of nightmares, though at least she'd never been the featuring monster doing the act to her loved ones.
Sirius was staring at the patch of carpet where the Boggart pretending to be Harry's body had lain.
Sirius felt his vision tunnel, a ghost crawling slowly up his spine and wrapping tight around him and refusing to let go of the idea that this would be the second time in his life he'd see his dead best friend, now somehow actually made worse as the fear of losing Harry all at the same time was shoved in his face...
"Sirius?" Harry gave him a hard poke, all of them watching him fearfully for that haunted look he usually only got when Dementors were being spoken of. Going with that assumption, Harry tried to laugh off, "it was gone before it could zone in on me, nothing else happens because of it."
"Right," he nodded hard, still staring steadily at his brother and forcing himself to watch the odd, curious look in place rather than the vacant eyes he'd envisioned.
Harry saw Moody was still watching him, and he had the feeling his magical eye had tracked him up here and told the other two about this.
Molly was still half sobbing out not for any of them to tell Arthur, he'd think she was being silly...
"Hardly," James murmured with conviction while Lily snuggled deeper into the crook of his arm.
Lupin continued comforting her while she pulled out a handkerchief and blew her nose, before she turned watery eyes on Harry and said how foolish he must think her, not able to get rid of a Boggart.
"I would never," Harry said almost indignantly, unable to picture such a fierce woman and mother as less because of her greatest fear.
Harry at once told her not to be stupid as he tried for a smile.
"That's not something to be saying to a crying woman," Sirius told purely because the words had escaped him without him even realizing it, there was no trace of him that could find mocking humor in this.
Tears spilled back over as she couldn't seem to stop herself from continuing how worried she was, it would be a miracle if everyone survived!
Harry made a terrifying, rasping noise of fright, his whole body tensed as if ready for a fight while he was seconds away from reliving something of what that boggart had just shown him-
"It's going to be alright Harry," Sirius marched into his train of thought with a comforting squeeze on his shoulder, clearly taking his own fear he'd just experienced and forcing it aside to pay attention to anything else, even Harry's resembled one. "That Weasley family is as tough as they come, things will work out. You're fine, everyone's going to be fine."
Harry forced himself to meet his eyes even if he in no way felt the comfort.
Percy wasn't even speaking to them, what if something happened and they never made up!
Lily couldn't read that without a hard hitch in her throat as it was exactly the fear she held for the woman and child. She'd always felt pity for Percy, could almost see how his offense could have lived with his parents choosing some outsider of the family rather than refusing to see his side, but as she knew her son was the one in the right all she could really do was cling to the now bleak hope it all somehow just had to work out.
And Ron and Ginny were still so young, what would happen to them if her and Arthur-
Lupin cut her off firmly that was enough. Explaining the Order was much better off than the last time where they'd just been picked off one by one.
James hated that it all kept floating right there as a constant reminder. His friends, his wife, how soon they'd all succumb to this war... and who's fault it was. Even if he hadn't raised the wand, even if some of them would have died without the intel that had been provided, he could never look another member of the Order in the face again without always knowing there was one member to kill them all.
Sirius abruptly cut in telling her not to worry about Percy.
Remus was honestly grateful Sirius had stopped him, even now he didn't think that was the best line of comfort, he'd just been trying to fling around facts in hopes she'd quiet which is what normally worked for himself.
Sirius wasn't at all surprised that's what he'd caught on. He knew a little something about regret when it came to losing estranged family. He was still living through that highlight.
He'd come around when the Ministry had no choice but to admit Voldemort was back, he was bound to come into the open soon and then everyone would be begging them for forgiveness, which Sirius bitterly finished with he wasn't likely to give.
"Absolutely no one will blame you at that time mate," James agreed nastily while Harry gave an obligatory laugh for the statement while ignoring some vicious little thought popping up in his mind he hoped his godfather lived long enough to see that day. He stamped that right back out and refused to acknowledge it as anything other than his pessimistic side having some bad timing while watching Molly fear the same for her own loved ones.
While Lupin gently finished with of course Ron and Ginny would be looked after, the whole Order would see to that, no one was going to let them starve.
Harry had never even imagined the idea of where his best friend would live if not with his parents. His first assumption he supposed would be one of his older brothers, Bill seemed the most likely, but what Remus had just said really struck a chord in Harry as he realized how much Remus did care. Making him want to question all the more where his stance had been back when Harry had gone to live with the Dursleys. He was growing more confident by the day though he did not get an answer to that.
Mrs. Weasley gave one little smile for the lot of them as she again told herself how silly she was being, but as Harry stepped back out to finish going to his room, he could not find her silly for a moment.
It suddenly hurt James too much just to even look at Lily. To see the emotions that caused to play out on her face, to hear how broken her voice came out with that, so he turned busy eyes anywhere else while unable to remove himself from her side to keep her soft warm body as his comfort.
Without warning, the scar on his forehead seared with pain again and his stomach churned horribly.
This was certainly a big enough thing anybody normally would have eagerly flipped topics, to discuss and try to figure out why Harry's scar would be burning at a time like this, but for once they were all to clammed up in their own heads for fear of this future for that to have even made much of an impact past the smallest bit of registering it happening, and Harry immediately brushing it off.
He rubbed at his forehead and told it to knock it off, while the empty painting snidely told him the first sign of madness was talking to yourself.
"Absolutely not," Remus muttered to himself, "talking to yourself is perfectly normal."
"Most people still bother keeping it in their own head," Sirius remarked quietly, leaning just a bit more closely to Moony than normal for that reminder he still had one friend with him in this bleak future.
Harry ignored the jab, feeling suddenly old as he sunk down onto his bed and realized just hours ago he'd been worried about stupid little things like a prefect badge.
"I'm done," Lily snapped with triumph, wishing she could go back to that moment, to so many before of her sons more childlike memories rather than having the harsh reality of the life she was living slammed down around them.
"I know it's hard love," James promised, running his hand up and down her back and still looking vacantly around the room, "so if you need me to fini-"
"No, I meant with the chapter," she corrected, all of her features still brittle with everything she'd been feeling in these moments. James finally looked back over at her, and it took a moment to drag himself out of the depth of her eyes to remember he had a book to grab.
HPHPHPHP
I'm not sorry for how harsh I was on Hermione in the portion of this chapter you all know I'm talking about. She really ticked me off while she was talking about Sirius, just like Molly before. Both women just seem to have this high and mighty status when it comes to him where they think they know everything about him and are trying to correct his everything, thinking they know and understand the reasons he acts the way he does, and I just want to smack both of them and tell them to leave the poor guy alone because both aren't true even one little bit. The closest person is Remus and even he lost a lot of rights in telling Sirius anything after twelve years. Molly earned back some sympathy here at the end, but now Hermione's in the hothouse which probably won't last long because...well honestly because it doesn't really come back up again which really makes me mad, but doesn't hold much focus so there's no point in continually revisiting it.
I've heard that in some of the original drafts of this book Ron was slated to die at some point, and I feel like that's made pretty clear in this chapter in particular. Am absolutely not saying I wanted it to happen, I love Ron to much, but credit to this woman for constantly setting up so many things.
* I do realize I created my own little plot hole in saying this was the book Lupin used as boggarts can't be found in that, but rather than just making one up on the spot I wanted to incorporate that into cannon a little better, and just pretend that the actual book is longer than the version we all get.
#Harry Potter#The LIfe that Never LIved#HP#Ootp#Marauders#reading the books#fanfiction#jilly#James Potter#Lily Potter#Remus Lupin#Sirius Black
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Just some random James Potter headcanons that I live by.
• ULTIMATE MUM FRIEND
• was seriously always making sure his friends were staying healthy and taking care of themselves
• "I couldn't care less about the Transfiguration test tomorrow Remus, it will be okay, you've been studying the entire day already, but it's fucking 2 am, so you're going to bed right now."
• "I know you're nervous about the potions test Pete, but you have to eat something, I'm not going to let you starve yourselve."
• normally harmless, but talk bad about his friends in front of him and you better run for your life, because he will not think twice about hexing you until you can barely stand up staight anymore
• always stands up for people being bullied in the corridors
• is also always there for little first years to help them find their way through the castle
• even sometimes offering to actually walk them to class when they are really unsure of themselves, even though he knows that that means coming late for his own classes and risking a detention
• true ladies man
• Lily was pretty much the only girl of their year to be immune to his charms (in other words: the only sensible one with a bit of self respect)
• even though his flirting techniques were absolutely ridiculous and annoying, he could pull them off; he was just that charming
• his middle name was F l e a m o n t
• which was something he tried to hide at all costs. The only people who knew about it were the other Marauders and Lily, because of the personalized parchment Euphemia insisted on buying for him
• came up with the idea of becoming animagi, after reading about it in his Transfiguration book
• was completely oblivious about two of his best mates having feelings for each other and getting together, until he walked in on them during sixth year
• he screamed like a little girl when he saw them, making Remus and Sirius laugh for a solid ten minutes after they got over their initial shock of being caught
• they told Peter and Lily what happened and even though Remus and Sirius were the ones who had been found half-naked, it was James who ended up being most embarrassed about the whole thing
• ever since the beginning of first year, James had set himself a goal to win a chess game against Peter.
• halfway through sixth year he finally succeeded (purely because Peter was a bit distracted -Mary had just walked into the common room in possibly the shortest skirt he had ever seen- , but this didn't stop James from being ecstatic about his victory)
• he actually hosted a party in the common room that night, to crown himself as "the new Gryffindor chess king"
• the fact that the next game between them was won by Peter again, was conveniently overlooked (and not just that one, James has never won a single game again)
• way too competitive with everything
• and a very sore loser
• when he became Quidditch captain in his fifth year, the team had very mixed feelings about it
• on one hand they were very happy, because James was an amazing captain, who definitely managed to get the very best out of the team
• but on the other hand did no one much enjoy the practices on Sundays that started at 5:30 am..
• hopelessly romantic and sappy as fuck
• when he and Lily started dating, he literally couldn't go for five minutes without telling her how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to have her
• Lily would roll her eyes, but a blush would still creep up her cheeks every single time
• he proposed to her on their second anniversary, while they were taking a stroll during sunrise
• he cried when he asked her, and the tears only came faster when she said yes
• he hid little notes to Lily in the house before he went on a mission for the order: "you are so beautiful" and "I love you" and "I'll be back before you know it"
• just like Sirius he was a natural genius who always aced his tests, without ever having to study too hard, which annoyed Lily immensely
• real mommy's boy
• loved his mother so much, and was never "too cool" to show this (this was one of the things that made Lily realise he wasn't that bad)
• the boy had No. Sense. Of. Shame.
• literally, the word shame wasn't in his dictionary
• Sirius' cockiness was partly a cover up for his insecurities
• James' wasn't.
• he just really was that confident and cocky and arrogant
• and he really couldn't care less about what other people thought of him. Didn't care when he was making a complete fool of himself in front of the entire school
• and honestly, this was the only reason he got away with it all. Because he really couldn't care less about being considered weird or annoying (even at times when he really should)
• came up with their nicknames (because let's be honest, no one could've come up with such incredibly dull names, except for James Fleamont Potter)
• he completely freaked out when Lily told him she was pregnant, because he was only 20, how was he going to raise a kid?? And they were in the middle of a war, they can't bring a little human into this world right now??
• but even though he was incredibly nervous about being a dad, once Harry was born, James knew that this was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he became an amazing father
• because he had never thought he could ever love anyone as much as he loved Lily, but when he met that little guy, who had her eyes, he knew that Lily would from that moment on have to share the number one spot in his heart
• this was why, when James realised that it was Voldemort who had found them on that fateful Halloween day, he didn't even think twice about the sacrifice he was about to make. If he had the opportunity to make Lily's and Harry's changes of survival even slightly larger, he would take it, without hesitation
#harry potter#james potter#remus lupin#marauders#sirius black#james potter headcanon#peter pettigrew#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#prongs#the marauders#lily evans#lily potter#jily#james x lily
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I wrote a Drarry fanfic for @e-of-west-glendia 's bday! Happy birthday! Also,,, this takes place after the war, but none of the good people died (like Remus and Tonks and Fred and Sirius, even tho ik Sirius died before the battle of Hogwarts, he's still alive)
I hope you like it!! I think it's crap, but I tried. Again, happy birthday, Eva!
"Potter! Hurry up!"
Draco smiled as he heard his husband shout his way.
"I'm going as fast as I can, Malfoy!" Draco said in response.
"Well go faster! We're going to be late for the the party! Hermione won't be happy!" Harry ushered as he walked into the room. He quickly stopped as he stared at his husband. "Damn . . . You're . . ." Harry trailed off.
"Well? I'm what?" Draco asked still looking in the mirror, seemingly impatient, but actually nervous for the response.
He had decided to wear some ripped, tight fitting, black jeans, black combat boots, an open black and white striped button up shirt, with a white t-shirt under. His hair was cut on the sides, the top being slicked back.
"You're . . . Gorgeous." Harry stated, walking towards Draco.
The latter blushed lightly as he turned to face his significant other. Draco quickly looked his husband up and down before responding.
"You don't look so bad yourself," He smirked.
That wasn't even half of it. Harry looked absolutely breathtaking.
He wore some maroon converse, dark grey skinny jeans with rips only at the knees, a blue denim jacket with a hood, and a black shirt underneath. His hair was, as always, messy, but that only added to the look. His emerald green eyes were framed by glasses. Not his old, circle rimmed ones, but black, square frames.
Harry chuckled as he gave Draco a quick kiss, "Thank you, dearest. Now, we have to go. Are you done?"
"Yes, yes. I'm finished. Let's go before Granger loses it. Wouldn't want her to get her wand in a twist," Draco rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly.
"You know how scary Mione can get when she's upset," Harry said quickly.
"Of course I do. But I don't think she'll be terribly upset if we're a couple minutes late."
"Well, I don't want to risk it. So let's go," Harry whined, stretching out the 'o' in go.
"You're such a child sometimes."
"Yeah, but you love me," Harry smiled cheekily.
"Of course, or else I wouldn't have married you three years ago. Now, come on." Draco put his hand out for Harry to grab.
As soon as Harry grabbed his hand, they disapparated to the Granger-Weasley residence.
Hermione was waiting out front for them, and immediately smiled as she saw them apparate and start walking towards the door.
"There you guys are!" She rushed towards them, hugging both of them quickly before pushing them towards the door. "Almost everyone is here, except Ginny and Luna. You know how they're always late to everything for whatever reason. Now go inside, I'll wait out here for them. Also, you two look lovely. Thank you for coming." Hermione spoke quickly.
The two men walked inside and saw that a lot of people were there. Just as Hermione had said, almost everyone was there.
Blaise and Neville were in the corner, chatting animatedly about something or another, Molly and Arthur Weasley were talking with Narcissa Malfoy, Fred and George were just milling about the room, joining in on every conversation they could, Pansy and Ron were chatting in the middle of the room, Bill and Fleur were talking to Charlie, Sirius and Remus were talking to Tonks.
Draco and Harry looked at each other and smiled. Everyone they loved was here, and it was amazing.
A couple people turned to look their way and waved at them. When Ron and Pansy saw Draco and Harry, they walked towards the two men.
Pansy immediately hugged Draco, talking quickly about how lovely Draco and Harry looked and how they needed to invite her over more because her life was so dreadfully boring and she was so glad they could make it and just everything she could.
Ron smiled at Harry and they gave each other a quick hug.
"I'm glad you could make it, mate. Mione was fussing about how she thought you wouldn't come, and I had to keep reassuring her that you would," Ron chuckled.
"I was rushing Draco to hurry up so we could make it on time because I didn't want to face Hermione's wrath," Harry grinned.
Ron smiled and shook his head, "Well, I'm glad you guys could make it. Mione will probably make a speech like she always does once Ginny and Luna get here."
Harry nodded, and as if hearing Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Luna walked through the door, and everyone looked Hermione's way, already preparing themselves for Hermione's speech.
Hermione smiled at them and spoke, "I know you're all tired of my speeches by now, so I'll try keep this short. I'm glad everyone could make it, and I'm glad to see everyone in good health. This party is to commemorate everything we all did to save the world from Voldemort's wrath all those years ago. We're glad everyone was able to make amends with each other. Thank you to everyone in the room, and I hope you all have a good time tonight."
They all clapped and smiled at each other. Everyone loved this annual party, and everyone in the room had all come to care for each other.
As the party went on, Harry and Draco drank and laughed and talked to everyone. And, as the party closed, they stayed behind to help clean up.
They knew that no matter what came in the future, they would always have their family and friends and, most importantly, each other.
#ahhh this is so bad im so sorry-#i hope you like it eva#happy birthday#drarry#harry potter#draco malfoy#hermione granger#ron weasley
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drarry fic recs
since i read so much fanfiction, and most of it drarry, i decided to make a rec list specifically for all my favorite drarry fics. because what else are you gonna do when you’re under quarantine? and i’ve got a lot of recs, so get comfortable.
first off, lemme just say that if you haven’t read any Saras_Girl fics, you absolutely should. she’s my favorite fic author of all time, really only ever writes drarry (although a lot of her fics feature background romione), and she’s still an active writer. there’ll be a lot of her stuff on this list, so if you don’t know where to start, just keep reading.
Reparations by Saras_Girl [87k, E]
Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.
this is my favorite fic of all time, okay? harry is a healer trainee at st. mungo’s, and all the trainees go through rotations in different departments of the hospital. harry’s first rotation is in the chemical dependency department, where he discovers he’ll be working under none other than our illustrious draco malfoy. this is so well written, and the characterization is so spot on, and it’s the perfect slowburn. i’ve read it so many times. i practically consider it canon at this point. (it’s also part of a series — Foundations!verse — and i love the sequel just as much.)
Talk To Me by Saras_Girl [15k, T]
When the usual channels of communication are shut down, the most surprising people can find a way in. A strange little love story.
probably my favorite one-shot. it’s an eighth year fic, but honestly, the year isn’t important to the story. harry gets hit more-or-less accidentally by a spell that renders him blind and deaf, and a *mysterious person* comes to his rescue. it’s the absolute sweetest thing i have ever read in my life. without the means to communicate normally, draco writes the words with his finger on the palm of harry’s hand. the characterization, again, is perfect. and harry figuring things out and reconciling apparently conflicting ideas of what he knows of draco left me squealing.
Building It Together by digthewriter [27k, E]
Forced proximity can only lead to bad things, right? Right.
this is such an original fic, and the concept is so intriguing. grimmauld place is tearing itself apart because harry’s been avoiding the house and its memories, and it finally breaks its magical ties to him. and sirius’ nearest blood relative is none other than draco malfoy. to save the house from itself and restore it to harry, draco has to move in, and with sections of the house disappearing... there’s only one bed. also let me just say that draco’s job is the most original thing i’ve ever seen, and it’s so fascinating and magical, and i love it. this is such a good fic.
Feel You In These Walls by alpha_exodus [6k, E]
Just this once, Harry thinks. Just this once, they'll kiss, they'll have sex, and then it'll be over. Draco hadn't expected more than that either. But then it happens again, again, and neither of them had anticipated having feelings involved - but then they've never been able to keep anything casual, have they?
i don’t usually read fics that are smut-centric, cause, y’know... asexual. but i really like this one. it’s beautifully written, and the dynamic is just. so great. also, asexual or no, i am not immune to tension. (i’ll take or leave the smut — in fact i’d mostly rather leave it — but unresolved tension? heck yeah.)
Salt on the Western Wind by Saras_Girl [60k, M]
When the war isn’t quite as over as it first appears, a guilt-ridden Harry is sent to a mysterious safe-house. Among sandwiches, insomnia, and Mills & Boon, he discovers something quite unexpected.
in the face of the dangers of the remaining deatheaters who have not been apprehended, mcgonagall sends harry, ron, and hermione to a safe-house. narcissa malfoy, having saved harry’s life asks one thing of him: to take draco with him into hiding. things take an unexpected turn when draco accidentally fouls up a spell and binds harry’s wrist to his by a silver thread that will only break when the people bonded ‘have reached a point of mutual understanding, confidence, and accord’. it’s so well-written, and i love the setting, and everything a lot. it’s wonderful.
Stealing Sweaters by DorthyAnn [12k, T]
It's their eighth and final year and over the course of several months, Harry and Draco have managed to become close friends. Their friends are entirely certain that they ought to be much, much more. So they just decide to... help things along.
this is so sweet, so fluffy. i die. harry and draco’s relationship in this is to live for. there’s platonic cuddling and hugging and sweater stealing, and then comes the realization that it’s maybe not as platonic as they thought. the idea behind this one is that harry and draco’s friends think they know what they need, and decide to meddle, and really all they’ve done is mess everything up.
Rainfall by Saras_Girl [4k, T]
So what if Draco has a rain kink? Everyone likes something weird.
literally the only thing you need to know about this fic is that draco has a rain kink. it’s bloody fantastic. i think you’ll find this is as much about draco as it is about drarry, and if you’re as obsessed with draco as i am, you’re gonna love that. (and by that, i mean draco absolutely soaked and with his face tipped up into the falling rain. it’s a beautiful mental picture.)
On a Clear Day by Saras_Girl [41k, M]
Draco Malfoy is waiting for his real life to begin, and it appears that he’s not the only one. Coffee, charity, and the wisdom of the elderly.
draco works for a charity, and his boss is very insistent that he get harry potter to attend their next event. except that harry potter doesn’t attend events at all, and he hasn’t responded to any of draco’s owls, and draco’s just about had it. this is a marvelous fic. it deals with draco feeling the pressure of restoring his family’s good name, it deals with harry’s trauma, how his past experiences have affected him after the war, it deals with the relationship between them in a really important way. because it’s a ‘no i actually hate you, you were a bastard’ and there’s no ‘wait, is that sexual tension’ and ‘well, maybe it’s okay because he was a child at the time’. not that those aren’t valid and really good things to read about in fics, but it’s nice to see it from this ‘i’m a mature adult, so i’m not gonna be petty about this, but i do actually hate you’ angle. i like it a lot.
Time and Again by manixzen [64k, E] work in progress
Harry's absolutely sure it's Malfoy's fault that they are stuck reliving the same day over and over. Harry is good at his job. He's professional, has an excellent closure rate, and is a well-respected Auror. Malfoy's the unprofessional one with his snark and his judgemental eyebrows and his far too-posh-for-work robes. If Malfoy could have managed to refrain from being a pain in the arse, everything would have been just fine. They wouldn’t have gotten in yet another argument, Harry wouldn’t have been distracted, and Harry certainly wouldn’t have accidentally set off a powerful artifact at their crime scene. And if Malfoy would just get out of his way now, Harry's sure he can quickly fix this so they can get back to their comfortable professional dislike of one another.
so, it is a work in progress, and i know a lot of people don’t like reading those (myself included), but it’s being regularly updated, and there’s only one chapter left. so i’d definitely recommend it! it’s a pretty great fic, and worth a read.
Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop [70k, E]
It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?
just in case one time loop fic isn’t enough for you, why not have two? this one’s also really enjoyable, and i think you should give it a go. if you only have the attention span for a single time loop fic, i would probably suggest Time and Again over this one, but that’s a personal preference. this one has some pretty great moments all its own, and they’re both good reads.
All Life Is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl [114k, M]
Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.
alright, i realize that this is the length of an actual novel, and that i probably should not have read this as many times as i have, but when you find a fic as good as this one, you can’t just ignore it. this fic is beauty itself, it’s the essence of life, it’s mandatory for everything. you want to go to college? they ask about this fic on your application. you want to get married? there are things you need to know beforehand, like ‘stanley the beetle doesn’t like transfigured mint leaves as much as the real ones’. that’s essential. i don’t know if i like this fic so much because of how good it is, or just because of pet beetle owner solidarity.
Good To Me (And I’d Be So Good to You) by AWickedMemory (TeddyLaCroix) [8k, G]
Everyone returns to Hogwarts after the war, but nothing is quite the same. Harry's groupies are creepier than ever, Ron and Hermione are snogging all over the place, and the once-proud Draco is shuffling around like a kicked puppy. But that's okay: Harry's got a plan.
this fic is pure fluff, and if that’s not your thing i get that, but the premise of this is just so cute. because harry’s got a mental catalog of facts about draco malfoy and a) that’s hilarious and adorable, and b) they’re actually really interesting and insightful for draco’s characterization. also the end reveal is !!!
Thermodynamic Equilibrium by DorthyAnn [5k, T]
Harry's far too hot. Draco's always cold. And somehow against all odds, together they create a perfect equilibrium.
because this trope never gets old, and this is really nice. there’s so much cuddling, and so many blurred lines between friendship and romance, and i love it. i’m a firm advocate of cuddling in every fanfiction ever. no fic is complete without it.
Helix by Saras_Girl [92k, E]
Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again.
it’s about snails. in an effort to get harry and draco to get along a little better, mcgonagall assigns them to overseeing the care of some very delicate snails for hagrid. there’s lots of heartfelt conversations, and struggles, and they’re very in love, so that’s nice. there’s also some really well-handled snape content, which i actually appreciate a lot, despite not really liking snape. it sets snape as draco’s godfather (which is a headcanon i love), and there’s a lot of contrast between draco’s relationship with snape and his relationship with his actual father, and i appreciate that a lot.
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