#harlots: intro

[imnotaman]

Introduction

Hello to anyone who finds my letters and interractions, my name is Penelope of Ithaca, i've been fighting war for about 20 years or so, I've just ended a recent interaction with Amphitrite (Yes, the Goddess of the sea, wife of Poseidon.)

By the way, my best friend--

Don't call me that.

Ares is also joining us in this blog!! Please ask him questions.

Age: about 35-43? I stopped counting after 32.

Pronouns: I have no idea what those are, I'm not a man. I'm a Woman. (Mod: She/Her, I'm She/They!)

Titles: Reining queen of Ithaca, Neither Man or Mythical, the Infamous Penelope, Not a man, a woman (what?), not your woman (for Antinous and Polites.), Wife of Odysseus of Ithaca, mother to Telemachas of Ithaca, Sister in Law to Ctimene of Ithaca/Same, Sister in Law to Eurylochus of Same.

The people I trust and care about as if my own family:

@sunlights-daughter - my future Daughter in Law, nobody would even be another option for Tele 💛

@ithacas-prince - my Son Telemachus, you'll love him as much as I do 💚:

@l-l-l-l-legendary - my... real son. I don't know much about him ✨️

@odysseus-is-waiting - My husband, I JUST MET HIM AGAIN 💙💙💙💙 I LOVE HIM, SM 💙💙💙

@4mph1r1t3 - my... what do you call it? A situationship?

@notesbyaphrodite - Aphrodite, Ares's girlfriend and somebody I love very much

@maggiemelodies09 - my friend, Maggie!

@captured-in-circe-s-open-arms - CIRCE 😭😭😭

bigots and just toxic ppl in general, get tf away from me - Dumbledore said, calmly

Penelope: I'm the Reining queen of Ithaca~

Ares: ...Why are you making me say this?

Aphrodite: Just do the bit, sweetheart.

When i'm OOC: SEGAAAA or SEGAAAA

____

I should also state that this is tecnically also a pjo rp blog. Thanks to Sola, Penny does have a job at CHB (she's basically there for extra help in case Chiron is too busy.)

So like... I also invite PJO rp blogs!

[bruisedswan]

♱☼ whå† måkê§ †hê w¤|f ïñ §ïlk ✶ ɐɹɔɐuǝ ɹǝɐๅᴉʇʎ sǝๅɟ ℘

there is no light in the eyes of an apex predator such as the lýkos, no evidence of spirit or essence until the sweet stench of death hits her nostrils. there’s a certain elation that sparks in the windows of her soul when the remains of life hang between her canines that she's not sure she can get anywhere else, when she tastes its tartness akin to plums. in addition, the vitality is often bitter, too ripe, almost rotting, a fruit the gods reject and throw into her eager mouth. 

beware of the lýkos, for she is no ordinary predator. the most dangerous type of beast; not one that impulsively bares her teeth, not one only driven by the primitive insatiable hunger that rumbles in her belly like a storm. no. the lýkos is a quiet one. a careful one. a deceiving one. she gathers all that she is — the rage and hunger and envy and cunning — and stuffs it in the strong confines of a living mask made of flesh and bone. Instead of the sharp canines, calculating eyes encasing nothing but her desire to consume, you see a soft delicate smile, cool doe eyes of willow bark and sage meant to lower her prey’s sense of danger long enough for her to pounce. lýkos prowls quietly in her own ribcage as she entraps her prey in broad daylight and for every poor soul she sets her sights on, she adapts and modifies the veil. how do you escape an ever changing beast? how do you survive against the most dangerous apex predator of all — a being crafted to be valor and timidness — a girl? you don’t, simply watch the god favoured take.

and oh how god favoured she is. discordia sees her mayhem caged inside of the girl, a white hot inferno and the emptiness of void, the disturbing quiet that fills open air like static before the apocalyptic tempest rolls in with the might of gods’ rage. life and death, strife and harmony, predator and prey. inner conflict, always contradicting the other. a living paradox. a mortal (?) being embodying all natural forces governing reality. a soldier of chaos and daughter of discord, the priestess of the temple and the knife and the lamb. oh wolf in silk, oh lýkos, oh lycia medarda... to be as divinely touched and tragic as you.

☼✶ s͋͋o҉҉ng̷͋҉҉ pa͋i҉҉ri͋͋ngs҉ ༄ monolithic by milord ༄ la femme ressort by la femme ༄ evol by emprisencia ༄ la ciruela by nico play ༄ slow the burn by sungaze ༄ nymphs finding the head of orpheus by nicole dollanganger

❝ She is the virgin-harlot. She is vulgar, witty, knowledgeable to a depth that terrifies, cruel when she is most kind, unthinking while she thinks, and when she seeks to build she is as destructive as a coriolis storm. ❞

— Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert...

heavily inspired by the lovely @elysian-fawn, her moodboards are absolutely beautiful <33. also this is a sneak peek to an intro that is very much rotting in my drafts so do what you will with this...

[doonarose]

GOAD Writer's Guild presents: Give Me Jizz or Give Me Death - A Choose Your Own Jizz (CYOJ) Adventure

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARLOTOFUPDOG OMG!!!!!!!!

(yes, you should feel equal parts pleased and terrified, we wrote you choose your own jizz/graveyard/dark/ghost/crack/weird fic)

And yes, the rest of you can read it too!

Summary: It is a dark and porny night. Everything feels… spooky. And salty. Really, really salty. Tread lightly in this Choose Your Own Adventure fic, our Ineffables have the odds stacked against them as they step foot onto an island with danger around every corner. All they really want is to have a nice picnic… Well, maybe a bit more than that.

Enter if you dare.

TW: Although this is very much for fun (and yay happy birthday, we love you!), we have hit the big ones: major character deaths, graphic violence (and death), noncon. As well as disgusting jizz, ghosts and cameos by characters you perhaps would rather not see in ways you definitely don’t want to see them. Basically: dead dove, don’t eat. On steroids. But for fun.

A/N: Yes, so happy birthday u/harlotofupdog!!! And welcome to the second iteration of the @goodomensafterdark Choose Your Own Adventure style fic. This wasn’t meant to happen. We only had a week or so to whip up something quick and easy to celebrate our dear, dark, jizzy Harlot, and instead here we are with some of the most ghastly, gooey choices a reader will ever have to make.

The premise is simple, borrowing heavily from Harlot’s own very brilliant Good Omens fics, our story begins with Crowley and Aziraphale on a windswept island, out for an adventure and choosing to explore the lighthouse (of course), the graveyard (obviously), or a pub (the trifecta of Best Ever Fic Settings). Within each, our heroes could find their bliss or their very worst endings. How happily they end up depends entirely on your choices.

At the end of each chapter you will have to choose what happens next. Navigate by clicking the links, NOT by clicking ‘next chapter’.

Amazing thanks to u/wingsofopal and u/nosferatini for thinking this was at all a good idea to try to pull off in a week and for wrangling our exceptional writers, betas and cheerleaders!

Shout out to each and every author: u/adverbian, u/-cheeseplants-, u/blackjeans93, u/startledplatypus, u/FuzzyGoblinoid, u/depressedpenguin2, u/yes-its-unholy, u/Natyu0815, u/gaiaseyes, u/nosferatini, u/happynachohologram, u/wingsofopal, u/paperclip_ninja, u/badbitchbarenziah, u/blackjeans93, u/likeafuckingninja, u/sensiblesquirrels, u/she_makes_things, u/doonarose, u/dbacklot99, u/hakunahistata, u/zin_lynn and u/PurpleMoonPagan for the intro limerick.

I think we all found out some interesting things about ourselves and each other during this journey into the darkest, weirdest, jizziest corners of our brains! Many authors also helped beta each other’s work, as well as special shout-outs to u/pepper_bird, u/ghst_signal and u/tawnyowl95 for extra beta help!

Enormous shoutout to u/IneffableCrankShaft for that amazing cover art!!!! And also to u/likeafuckingninja for some extra special saucy art within the fic!

All of this spunky, gooey, frankly quite weird jizz is for u/harlotofupdog to celebrate their birthday!!! And as a little thank you for their lovely/soul-shattering fic!!

Excerpt:

“Well, this place feels…spooky.” Crowley’s words are whipped away in the wind as it lashes relentlessly through the grass. It howls past them, across the red sandstone cliffs and down to the docks they’ve left behind one trudging step at a time. There’s no turning back, not with rain threatening to pour forth from the evening skies at any moment. Not now that they’ve made it this far up the narrow path to the highest peak of the island, panting and heaving a picnic basket back and forth between them. How many books did the bastard pack, exactly? “WHAT?” Aziraphale calls out, and Crowley turns to face him, locks of his own hair flickering like flame across his vision. “I said, this whole place feels spooky .” “That’s why we’re here, my dear.” Aziraphale has properly caught up to him now, his cheeks pink and his pale curls hopelessly tousled. Crowley’s heart twists at the sight, beating faster. “WOT?” Crowley shouts back, attempting a grin. Aziraphale hands him back the picnic basket with a hearty shove and the makings of a smirk about his lips. “I thought you liked spooky! Big, spooky, um, fan, wasn’t it?”

Read the fic here! And don’t forget your amazing bingo card to play along as you go!

[marley-manson]

Xena Episode Guide

Xena is an episodic show with a few ongoing arcs, both plot and character, so some episodes are very standalone, others are part of ongoing continuity. This guide will have four categories, denoted by symbol: * must-watch for plot or character development reasons + not essential but very good and/or gay, I recommend these ^ average non-essential episode, not notably amazing or awful, watch if you want more xena, skip if you want to get to the good parts faster # episodes I actively recommend skipping, not too many of these because I'm easy for this show lol.

I'm also going to link this site which has a lot of info and resources, including very thorough episode synopses under "episode guide," if you want more info before deciding whether or not to watch an episode.

It's also worth noting that it's a spinoff of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, a show I've seen exactly one episode of. You don't need to watch it to watch Xena, but occasionally it can add some context, and it's worth knowing that some plot elements are developed in Hercules rather than Xena, particularly parts of the Dahak arc in season 3. They'll have the characters explain the plot relevant stuff briefly, eg why Callisto is immortal now, but yeah if you feel like you're missing things, that's why, and it's not a big deal.

So without further ado, here we go, starting with Xena's introductory episodes in Hercules.

Hercules: 1x09 The Warrior Princess, 1x12 The Gauntlet, 1x13 Unchained Heart# I haven't seen these, it's not necessary, and afaik some of the characterization and general vibes are incompatible with the Xena we know and love in her own show. But feel free to watch them if you want to see her introduction as a character.

1x01 Sins of the Past* 1x02 Chariots of War^ One minor highlight of this episode is that Xena and Gabrielle's respective flirtations with a man of the week each mirror their new relationship with each other - Xena and some peaceful village dude, Gabrielle and a wannabe warlord. Otherwise basic and uninteresting. 1x03 Dreamworker* 1x04 Cradle of Hope^ 1x05 The Path Not Taken* 1x06 The Reckoning* 1x07 The Titans^ 1x08 Prometheus^ Hercules and Iolaus appear if you skipped Xena's Hercules intro and want to meet them, but there's not much to recommend it 1x09 Death In Chains^ 1x10 Hooves and Harlots* 1x11 The Black Wolf+ I don't remember it too well but I remember enjoying it, and there's some cute baby les Gab stuff 1x12 Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts+ Idk if it's quite essential, but a character in this ep recurs later and this episode is referenced. It's a pretty great episode though iirc, I'd rec it. 1x13 Athens City Academy of Performing Bards^ It's a clipshow so not much of substance, but this episode is referenced in a lot of fic as a path not taken for Gabrielle 1x14 A Fistful of Dinars^ Apparently Xena's former fiance is in it but frankly I had no memory of that so I don't think it's important enough to be considered essential 1x15 Warrior... Princess^ It introduces a recurring character (and trope) so worth watching for continuity purposes but p inconsequential otherwise iirc. 1x16 Mortal Beloved+ Controversial categorization because it's het, but what can I say, I like it 1x17 The Royal Couple of Thieves^ Pretty fun and introduces another recurring character, but otherwise not especially important 1x18 The Prodigal+ Solid episode for Gabrielle's character development, not essential but worth watching. 1x19 Altared States+ Gets a plus sign for blatantly gay Gabrielle <3 1x20 Ties that Bind# I personally hate this ep, but it does have somewhat significant character exploration, and I wouldn't necessarily say it's bad so much as not to my taste. Up to you whether you watch. 1x21 The Greater Good* Most of the ep isn't essential but it leads directly into the next one which is, plus it's pretty good. 1x22 Callisto* 1x23 Death Mask^ Gets into Xena's past and surviving brother, but not in a way that really has much of an impact? Might be worth watching for that, but I don't think skipping it will affect much 1x24 Is There a Doctor in the House+ Gay, good, and establishes one detail that recurs later on but not a particularly important detail.

2x01 Orphan of War* 2x02 Remember Nothing+ Arguably essential viewing for character stuff, but I don't think skipping it would hurt your understanding of anything. Solid episode though. 2x03 The Giant Killer^ Referenced in a later episode so worth watching for thoroughness, not bad but not stand-out. 2x04 Girls Just Wanna Have Fun+ Gay 2x05 Return of Callisto* 2x06 Warrior... Princess... Tramp^ Introduces another occasionally recurring character, fun, not essential otherwise 2x07 Intimate Stranger+ 2x08 Ten Little Warlords+ These are direct sequel episodes and I really enjoy both, but they're not immediately relevant. The latter is arguably somewhat essential for Ares character stuff, but ymmv on how important that is to you. 2x09 A Solstice Carol# 2x10 The Xena Scrolls+ Clipshow, not essential, but please watch it bc it's an absolute delight. Basically a canon role reversal AU, and it's one of the episodes that spawned a thousand lesbian romance novels in the form of published Xena AU fic. 2x11 Here She Comes... Miss Amphipolis^ 2x12 Destiny* 2x13 The Quest* 2x14 A Necessary Evil* 2x15 A Day In The Life+ Not technically essential but widely considered one of the best episodes of the show, wildly gay, don't skip it. 2x16 For Him The Bell Tolls^ Joxer heavy, Xena light. Most would probably categorize it as # but I'm easy for the comedy episodes 2x17 The Execution^ 2x18 Blind Faith+ 2x19 Ulysses^ Warning for dumb het, skip if your tolerance is low. After this though it's pretty clear sailing in terms of male love interests of the week, thankfully. 2x20 The Price* Amazing episode overall, imo essential for character exploration, but warning for v prominent racist tribal stereotypes 2x21 Lost Mariner+ 2x22 Comedy of Eros* It's not really essential for the most part, but it establishes a certain character beat that lasts for the next 3 seasons, and imo it's fun. Skippable if you're not in the mood for a mostly het comedy ep tho.

3x01 The Furies* Explores some of Xena's family history and introduces us to how the Furies work, since they show up in a few other episodes, but not huuugely important? Waffled between * and ^ for the record. 3x02 Been There, Done That+ One of my personal faves, not stand-out gay, but incredibly fun imo 3x03 The Dirty Half Dozen^ Basically the show's lone aware statement on feminism and it sucks lmao. Aside from that it can be fun, so I didn't mark it as a recommended skip, but it's on the cusp. 3x04 The Deliverer* 3x05 Gabrielle's Hope* 3x06/7 The Debt* 3x08 The King of Assassins# Very dude-centric and forgettable imo, but has Gina Torres as Cleopatra and introduces Joxer's siblings as a thing, so ymmv 3x09 Warrior... Priestess... Tramp^ 3x10 The Quill Is Mightier^ Fun episode for Ares and/or Aphrodite fans, not important and not notably good or gay tho (though at this point we have a relative base level of gay established so yk, p much every episode is gonna have some vibes) 3x11 Maternal Instincts* 3x12 The Bitter Suite* 3x13 One Against an Army+ 3x14 Forgiven# I skipped it my first watch and didn't regret that after watching it this time around, but fyi it does implicitly touch on the emotional fall-out of the last few episodes a little bit 3x15 King Con# 3x16 When In Rome...* 3x17 Forget Me Not* It's a clipshow, but the framing device establishes some surprisingly significant character and plot stuff 3x18 Fins, Femmes, and Gems+ A fan favourite for a lot of people, it's silly and fun with some great gay moments. 3x19 Tsunami^ 3x20 Vanishing Act^ 3x21/22 The Sacrifice*

BONUS: Hercules 4x13/14 Armageddon Now This is the sole episode of Hercules I watched, because Part 2 features the inspiration for an entire subgenre of Xena fic that I love - Conqueror fic. An AU where Hercules was never born, featuring a subplot in which Xena never turned good and went on to conquer Greece. You don't need to watch it to understand the conceit, and most fics don't follow the strict events of the episode but rather the general premise of Xena ruling a nation, but it is fun, and it has some bonus Callisto character stuff too. I've put it here because it aired alongside Xena season 3 and broadly fits into it continuity-wise.

4x01/2 Adventures in the Sin Trade* 4x03 A Family Affair* 4x04 In Sickness and In Hell^ A divisive episode, some find it funny, some find it obnoxious. I came down in the middle. 4x05 A Good Day* 4x06 A Tale of Two Muses^ 4x07 Locked Up and Tied Down^ Has some character backstory and thematically relevant stuff, but nothing super significant. 4x08 Crusader+ Features the ongoing arc of Xena's future vision and good character stuff, so somewhat relevant, but not quite enough to be essential imo. But it's extremely gay and one of my faves. 4x09 Past Imperfect^ Flashback episode to Solan's birth and Borias' death, but we don't learn anything particularly essential afaik, and it's not a super strong or gay episode. Worth watching if you enjoy learning about Xena's past though. 4x10 Key to the Kingdom^ Meg, Joxer, and Autolycus heavy comedy, great for Meg's character 4x11 Daughter of Pomira^ Sort of a sequel to The Price, same racist depictions of a native american coded people, tries to be progressive and manages to be, like, a step above The Searchers lol. 4x12 If the Shoe Fits^ 4x13 Paradise Found* Essential for character stuff but also fantastic in general. 4x14 Devi* We're in the India episodes, so expect stereotypes and cavalier treatment of Hinduism that caused enough controversy back in the day to necessitate a disclaimer. But they're important episodes plot and character-wise. 4x15 Between The Lines* The other episode that launched a thousand lesbian romance novels. 4x16 The Way* 4x17 The Play's The Thing^ 4x18 The Convert^ Najara's return, a big downgrade from Crusader though imo. Introduces another character who returns later, and Joxer gets some drama, but I still wouldn't say it's necessary. 4x19 Takes One to Know One^ 4x20 Endgame* 4x21 The Ides of March* 4x22 Deja Vu All Over Again+ Canonizes Xena/Gab in a censored, network-friendly way that may have you cheering or booing depending on your perspective, but it's worth noting that it was the best the crew could get away with. The characters return in a s6 episode but one I haven't seen lol so I can't say it's essential, but I like it.

A note on season 5: widely considered the worst season, esp for Xena/Gab shippers, but if you're a fan of Xena/Ares at all you might enjoy it more. There was some behind the scenes upheaval with the writing team I believe, and a plotline originally intended for Hercules got shunted here, where it's not a great fit. So it can feel a little "off." (Season 6 is generally considered a return to form, ftr.)

Focuses a lot on the unrequited het with Xena and Gabrielle's relationship somewhat sidelined in terms of dramatic focus. But it's very arc-heavy so many episodes are relevant, and tbf Xena and Gab still have a v strong married couple vibe. My advice is to either power through, or skip freely while reading a synopsis.

5x01 Fallen Angel* Silly but v important plot-wise, also pretty gay. 5x02 Chakram* Categorized as essential for some character-statement and thematic stuff, and some minor continuity re chakram, buuuut you could probably get away with skipping it. 5x03 Succession^ 5x04 Animal Attraction* 5x05 Them Bones, Them Bones^ It's arguably essential for a secondary character's storyline, so watch if you care about Amarice, but otherwise not missing much here. 5x06/7 Purity/Back in the Bottle^ I don't thiiiink there's anything super important here, and it's not super amazing, but it's a bit of a sequel to The Debt if that interests you. 5x08 Little Problems^ 5x09 Seeds of Faith* 5x10 Lyre Lyre Hearts on Fire# I found this painful to sit through. Others enjoy it so ymmv, but it adds nothing but bad vibes imo. 5x11 Punch Lines^ Good if you're a fan of Gabrielle/Aphrodite, but otherwise pretty mediocre. 5x12 God Fearing Child* 5x13 Eternal Bonds* 5x14 Amphipolis Under Siege* 5x15 Married with Fishsticks# Widely considered the worst episode, with good reason. 5x16 Lifeblood^ Basically just a way to recycle some portal fantasy pilot that didn't get picked up, mostly a waste of time but inoffensive 5x17 Kindred Spirits^ Not really that great, often annoying, but Xena and Gabrielle are emphatically married so it gets some gay points 5x18 Antony and Cleopatra^ I don't thiiiink there's anything super necessary here, skip to avoid het in the form of plot-induced manipulative seduction 5x19 Looking Death in the Eye* 5x20 Livia* 5x21 Eve* 5x22 Motherhood*

6x01 Coming Home* 6x02 The Haunting of Amphipolis* 6x03 Heart of Darkness* Only necessary in that it concludes the cliffhanger of the last episode. 6x04 Who's Gurkhan?* 6x05 Legacy* So, season 6 is more character heavy than arc heavy. All the above episodes are important for the characters dealing with the time skip and character development in general, but there's no arc they're contributing to, so feel free to make your own judgement calls. 6x06 The Abyss+ Racist stereotype cannibals unforch, but v gay. 6x07/8/9 The Rheingold/The Ring/Return of the Valkyrie+ Gay romance straight up. 6x10 Old Ares Had a Farm^ Great if you love mortal Ares episodes 6x11 Dangerous Prey^ I believe this is the sole mortal dude who poses a challenge to Xena, and they really aped the Callisto format for it lol. 6x12 The God You Know* Only mildly essential in that it explains why Aphrodite is mortal now, but while I think it's somewhat divisive, it's an episode I enjoy personally so I'd recommend it. 6x13 You Are There* 6x14 Path of Vengeance* 6x15 To Helicon and Back* 6x16 Send in the Clones^ Imo probably the worst clipshow, but it's still pretty fun. 6x17 The Last of the Centaurs^ 6x18 When Fates Collide+ Not essential but unskippable, iconic gay romance. 6x19 Many Happy Returns+ GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY 6x20 Soul Possession^ Almost a # but it does have canon reincarnated Xena/Gabrielle. 6x21/22 A Friend in Need* Very controversial finale, many hate it, but it is the finale so it's essential. Many recommend watching When Fates Collide after this and pretending it's the real finale lol.

[eldritch-spouse]

Wait I just read Shag’s intro post and saw Morell calling Shags a slut. Is the neck an erogenous area?? 💀

I honestly just kept think about chopping off their head lmaoo

For shroom monsters, the neck is a very intimate area. It's unofficially considered an erogenous spot.

It's not only extremely sensitive, it's also something to be kept shielded and private at all times, not just for safety reasons but also modesty ones. Most mushroom monsters adhere to this custom and use a variety of scarves/turtleneck clothing to keep themselves "proper". Although, some of the newer generations of shrooms defy this by proudly displaying their necks- Which is more than a little scandalous.

Morell comes from a more or less traditional family, so neck coverings are taken seriously. So much so that his own scarf covers the bottom of his face. He could stand naked in front of you, the first thing Morell's going to cover is his neck, the second is his dick.

Shags is naturally considered a dirty little harlot by his family, and even though Morell likes him a lot, he's still going to perpetually jab Shags about it, though the ink cap hardly cares.

[gefdreamsofthesea]

The Cave of Sibyl Oracle by Tiera May is here!

This is a 53 card deck. The cards are thin and glossy. It comes with a full colour "spellbook" (I'll explain in a sec) and the card titles are actually on the backs of the cards.

This is a powerful deck. The imagery is dark, it's visceral, at times I wasn't sure what I was looking at, at times I would look at the imagery and think "oh, this feels like this" and would flip it over and the keyword just made sense.

Funnily enough, at first I was actually repulsed by the imagery, but I couldn't stop looking at it. I would definitely say it's not for everyone and if you aren't into breasts, bones, blood, pregnancy/birth, vulvae, contorted bodies, eyeballs in strange places, and the like, you might want to steer clear.

I just skimmed the book and it appears that each card has a poem associated with it. There's no list of meanings or spreads, just an intro and poetry.

This is definitely a deck that is meant to be read intuitively. The focus is on the images themselves and the poems. Some of the images are dark in every sense of the word. It feels like it's been designed to force you to rely on your intuition and emotions, which feels very in keeping with the chthonic nature of the deck.

There's definitely a focus on cisgender women's bodies: wombs, vulvae, giving birth and on "the feminine": Earth Mother, Dark Mother, the sibyl, the harlot. The imagery speaks to me as a cis woman (my own issues re: motherhood and wombs notwithstanding) but I feel like this emphasis is unnecessarily alienating. In the dark no one can see your genitals and everyone can benefit from the sibyl's wisdom and I feel like many of the human forms could be read as genderless or beyond gender. I will show you some cards and maybe you will get what I'm trying to say.

I think the only thing that really annoyed me about this deck is that there is a "sk*nwalker" card and it's especially annoying because I looked at the card and was like "shapeshifter?" I'm not sure how easy it is to mod glossy cards, if you could just sharpie it out.

Oh wait, for the price you pay for it I was kind of expecting thicker cards. Oh well.

I think this will be a deck I use for me. I think it would be a great deck for shadow work, malefic magic, ancestor veneration, honoring "dark" goddesses especially those associated with death and the underworld.

Here are a few cards, chosen at random

Here's an example of the back with the keyword:

[swirlsncurlsnmanyturns]

yk what i realized? at the heart of it, Good Omens is really just a show about Love. ever since season 1. Anathema and Pulsifer, the witchfinder and the harlot lady, and from day one: Aziraphale and Crowley. And its not even just the romantic type of love, but the love of the earth the world dogs (remember Adam and Dog?) love for friends. And we've had so many more intros to love in s2 like Maggie and Nina and Gabriel and Beelzebub, and once again, our wonderful ineffable duo Aziraphale and Crowley. And it's just so cute to me how there is so much that the show really explores without directly addressing. and how in its essence, Good Omens is just about the vastness of the universe and what it means to you when you love someone in it.

[meerawrites]

Character intro: Emilie

Inspired by: Emilie (source material), Harriet (Harlots on Hulu), the trope of impoverished but well intentioned, and 18th century shifting cultural views.

Character summary: she/her, Creole-French-black-biracial, bisexual. A courtesan who has a brief affair with the Vicomte de Valmont.

Fun Fact: approaching this character, I was broadly unsure how to help her lend to my message, as no one knows or talks about her. But now I’m really glad she’s in my cast of characters. She’s the only sane one.

As genre commentary: hell yeah black sex workers with adjacency who get an 18th century aesthetic!

[tehkatie]

Only Friends Ep4 Live Blog:

2 years ago we’re starting off strong!!

A bestie being your emergency contact is not a bad thing.

I TOLD Y’ALL MEW KNOWS!!

Ray is breaking my heart. I’m already teary eyed wow.

RAY WTF DON’T DO THAT

You know what now I can understand Mew more when it comes to their friendship. I will elaborate later.

OH THE TRAILER SCENE IS NOT IN THE FUTURE ITS FROM 2 YEARS AGO OMFG

I feel so bad for Ray, I feel so bad for Mew

I can not take this omfg. I’m literally sobbing.

That’s why he’s so attached, why he hates being alone. Oooooh I cant.

Omg and I wouldn’t be surprised if Ray misconstrued that.

Awww Cheum.

Me and Cheum are the same person I will say.

He’s not a heavyweight like he’s just not.

OMG HE DOES REMEMBER I SHOULD NOT HAVE PAUSED SO SOON!!!

Mew is a good friend. We just caught him at a fed up stage.

Why they got me over here shipping Ray and Mew a lil????????

Oh so Mew REALLY knows.

I can see why Boston would film it but why would he keep it for so long?

INTRO TIIIIIIME!!!

He said what about your boyfriend??

HE KEPT SAND’S SHIRT

The poor boy shirt being the designated drunk shirt.

Gosh now I really see why Mew is so into the idea of Ray and Sand.

I think he’s lovely too Mew

Lying liar that lies.

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD

Why would you say that Ray?!

YES MEW DRAW THE LINE IT MAY HURT BUT IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!

Mew has a entered my top 5 officially.

He said think about what you’ve done.

I will say that first 13 minutes has poked holes in so many of my theories.

Nah you watched Top and Boston fuck.

OH MY GOD SAND

Nick would know.

I love this friendship.

Now you know.

Top is at the top of my shit list. Like get off my screen HARLOT!! Like not you calling him your boyfriend knowing what you’ve done!! Come outside we not gone jump you!!!

PART 2

Not Ray walking up like heeeeeey.

I am glad that Ray listened to Mew I will say.

Ray got his tea.

HIM AND THOSE EYES I WOULD BE TRAAAAASH, GARBAGE, WASTE!!

I get it Sand I truly do.

You can play the guitar but please don’t start sing.

Ooooh I love that he asked and didn’t just buy it.

Sand I am not on your side with this one. Like not at all.

It’s the communication for me. Wow.

I DO CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THAT’S WHY IM HERE!!!! THROW ME OFF A BRIDGE!!!!

Sand is gone.

Periodt Sand me too.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HAVEN’T YOU DONE ENOUGH?!

I need Boston to stop like wtf are you doing????

I really hate him.

YES YOU ARE ENVIOUS AND JEALOUS!!

Top is gathering him.

I would not piss off Boston to that degree though because I don’t think he has any reservations about being the one that tells Mew himself. They are barely actual friends in my opinion. Like at least at this point.

WHAT THE FUCK TOP?!

Poor Nick.

I just said poor Nick and this man gone start going through Boston’s phone. Like baby stop.

Oh he didn’t catch him. Trailers can be deceiving.

OH INTERESTING!!! Boston’s dad must be one of those ‘I don’t care if you’re gay just don’t broadcast it’ types. Interesting very interesting.

Stop playing with his emotions omfg.

Why is he torturing himself?

PART 3

Wtf Nick?!

HE BEEN TRYING!!

Legit asked him to do the one thing he’s been trying to do.

HERE WE FUCKING GO!!!!

Shocked pikachu

This is what the fight is about? It’s not funny but I’m cackling. We really played ourselves. P’jojo and them laughing at us hard.

I can not believe how much I played myself. Wow omfg.

C’mon roommate besties!!! I love them.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE RAY?!

God Ray is such a good apologist. That’s my favorite thing about him.

You would give him more.

NOTHING TO HIDE?!

Mew being honest makes my anger with Top so much worse. LIKE YOU COULD HAVE TALKED TO HIM AND HE WOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

WHAT DID BOSTON SHOW HIM?! WHO DID BOSTON SHOW HIM?!

This episode is a lot.

PART 4

MEW NOOOO

I’m just here mad as hell.

Move on Ray. Honey it’s time.

Listening to music with someone can be so personal.

Sand is gone I say again.

WHEW EPISODE FINISHED!!!

[parvulous-writings]

Hi, hello! 

My name’s Pavy! Welcome, to my humble freakish Tumblr page. This intro post (It’s my 3rd one jfc) is going to be a bit of a jumble, but I think that’s just my vibe tbh. 

I’m a queer writer, who uses he/they pronouns. I have AuDHD, and that manifests in, well.. You’re looking at what/how it manifests. I’ve been doing this for 5 years on the trot. And that’s just Tumblr, not including the writing stuff I did BEFORE this. It’s a constant fixation/interest - and also a way to yap about my interests! I yap a lot, I like yapping - and answering questions! 

Please note I do write NSFW works from time to time, they are clearly labelled, if you don’t want to read them, just scroll on! Just let me write about my little guys fucking, it’s for my morale. 

And now for some fun facts; 

The Ghoap Man title was lovingly bestowed unto me by my best friend. The title of 'Kind Harlot' was given to me by a lovely anon.

I am hilariously predictable when it comes to my taste in fictional men. (It’s actually very amusing getting called out/read for filth on this) 

If you engage with me about whatever my fixation is (Through headcanons or ideas) I will admire you for eveerrrr. 

I have 3 big fanfic WIPs going on (One for Baldur’s Gate, two for Call of Duty). 

I yap in the tags a lot.

¬My Tags; - #Pavy Talks - general yapping outside of full written works (including if it’s a drabble from my inbox)  - #Pavy Talks: Freak Edition - Me yapping, but NSFW! - #ARMAND!!! - Anything pertaining to the Vampire Armand from Interview with The Vampire (particularly for Assad Zaman's portrayal in AMC's adaptation) - #Aaand now I'm giggling/#Aaand now I'm crying - Posts that evoked a strong emotion from me!

The rest of this post is for links to other areas of my Tumblr account, and some of my socials :3 

Here you can find my request list - this is more of like… A general guideline now, more than anything else. I gave up on trying to maintain it too much. If you’re ever curious about what/who I write for, just send an ask! The worst I can say is no! I normally write for gender neutral readers, unless explicitly stated otherwise! 

I have an Ao3 account - Found here! - that I’m using to publish some of my larger works! 

I also stream from time to time - usually about once or twice a week! You can click here to go to my Twitch channel! 

Finally, I also have a Discord server, which you can request a link to, if you are so inclined! There we yap, play games together, and just vibe! I won’t be putting a link to this one, but it can be requested, in order to prevent bots. Please be aware that this is an 18+ space. 

[black-star-kunzite]

Deadpool 3 was interesting in that I finally see what white straight humor is, and it also had best corporate guy Tom Wambsgans which was probably the best thing in the movie for me. Intro sequence should’ve really had him do those fucking dance moves right instead of halfass them like I want to see boyband realness bitch or do some ice-spice shit

You really wouldn’t get much out of the movie unless you remember/liked/or are aware of Fox Studios Marvel entries. The jabs or corporate supported jabs at the Disney conglomerate were alright if you just disassociate. The “90 year one” was the funniest and this movie will probably not save the MCU but maybe just keep the lights on just enough to get those minorities (the WOKE-CU) out there lmao

Some jokes landed but most aren’t really funny for me (which is fine my brain is rotted) but like it was like Pansexual* Promiscuous White Man played by Time Magazine’s Straightest Man Alive and Straight White Man™️ in goofy sexual hijinks or various white characters doing hypersexual/gay acts or saying hypersexual/gay shit at moments meant to inappropriate which is cool I guess bc gay sex is cool but the gag (heh) didn’t really work for me except maybe the car scene bc that was a fun sequence overall. Also I just can’t see “this Logan” as queer (even if the character is like a Bi backwater harlot in comic text or subtext n shit) like this one in particular is like straightest man to me (No shade to Huge JackedMan bc that’s one of the gayest names a man could have and I don’t doubt he could play a Logan with sugar cubes in the tank)

The somber moments should’ve been interjected with a Bwomp sound effect and played completely straight.

The bald-head-hoe was british. I wanted to slap the shit out of her smooth bald ass head every time she got screen time like I blanked out on entire scenes she was in bc of a deeply troubling unfulfilled desire to smack that fucking chrome dome like those sphinx cats with lotion. Idrc what she was on about really or like hate her as an antagonist (I do but for other reasons) or whatever

Cool dumb movie 👍🏾 I thought the costumes were really fun and I never thought I’d need Wolverine with the cowl and bright ass suit on in live action.

The fights were really fun too

[ask-joachim-armster]

Lord Armster! I have few question for you:

I thought that Crimson Storne can turn a person intro a vampire. Is true that the Ebony Stone can also turn a person intro a vampire? (I suspected that.)

Did you and that hellish favorite Succubus where intro an argument at one point?

And lastly

Did that old bastard took avantage of cute boys as well in similar way as with innocent girls?

Joachim: As far as I know, all four Stones had the ability to grant immortality to a person. Perhaps the two lost Stones did not carry the curse of vampirism.

Immortality can be different.

But the Ebony Stone could gradually turn its mortal owner into a vampire, that’s true.

I often quarreled with her. She tried to sharpen her wit on me and just annoy me for fun. This hellish harlot had many sharp thorns under her tongue…

When I got used to it or did not pay attention to some of her caustic remarks, the Succubus came up with something new. Knowing that I couldn’t harm her, she took advantage of my position.

I hate succubi, but they scream so wonderfully when their wings break...

Joachim closed his eyes.

He was attracted only to handsome boys with a sophisticated appearance. It seems that only I received the «honor» of becoming his student, perhaps due to my abilities…

The rest of the boys became just as pawns in the old bastard’s games as the innocent girls…

[pxgeturn]

( JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN, 23, HOMOSEXUAL ) Did I just see ISABELLE THOMAS at the BAWDY house on COVENT GARDEN? The EARL’S DAUGHTER is known to be COMPASSIONATE but also OBSESSIVE, and comes from NORWICH.

Hello! Flint here, nice of you to pop by again. There are fewer paragraphs under the cut here and an all around much nicer person to be found; lucky you. Here’s a sweet bean trying to do good by the harlots and help them find better lives, which currently isn’t going very well. Entitlement aside, she’s a gay disaster waiting to happen, so check out those wanted connections if you want a snooty gal pal with access to aristocrat’s charitable pockets, and please like this post or send me an IM if you’d like to plot. Have a nice day!

MISS ISABELLE THOMAS

The youngest daughter of the Earl of Norfolk and the last of her five siblings left unmarried, Isabelle has never had a shortage of role models in her life. Most inspired by her eldest sister, Felicity, a girl of noble character who, from an early age, took it upon herself to play mother to the rest of the Thomas’ gaggle. This did not always cooperate with the rest of the flock, however, who would often prefer to cause havoc under the guard of their middle brother, Henry, who would see to it that the whole lot of them arrived home far too late for dinner and covered from head to toe in mud. 

Neither of these behaviours much pleased their parents, of course, who would have rather their children stayed inside, listened to their nannies and perhaps even attended to their studies once in a while, if that wasn’t too much to ask. Isabelle was perhaps the least flighty of the pack and altogether more in line with what Granville Thomas’ and his wife imagined of a child; generally quiet, will meaning and soft spoken, if a little prone to bouts of stress and curiosity. 

She always looked up to their strong nature, however, and as she tended more toward blending into the background, she took more to emulating the personalities of those around her, as though trying on personalities for sizing and picking the bits she liked the best. This resulted in her changing, sometimes drastically, over the course of a conversation to better fit the person she was speaking to, and often picking up their hobbies and causes in the same vein.

One such cause was as much to mirror her eldest sister as it was an excuse to get away from her family’s estate and visit London, a city she had rarely visited, but had quickly come to adore. With her sister at the helm, Isabelle began a spat of charity work in support of the women of the night. Though not the most noble of causes as some might say, it appealed to her more compassionate side. As far as she saw it, these women were some of the most down trodden of society, and fundraising and working with the women and their bawds to improve living and working conditions could only be a boon. 

Of course, as she spent weeks on this mission, she soon realised her noble intentions were not always appropriate. Kind manners were often taken advantage of and some of the women and - as it turned out - men, particularly in the more welltodo areas actually rather liked their work, thank you very much.

This quite marred Isabelle’s intentions, though her commitment was still too fresh to be abandoned. The world she had moved herself in to was entirely foreign to her; as loud and boisterous well into the night as her rooms had been quiet in the still light of morning. It was a lot to take in while still remembering it was her duty to be helpful, but gradually, she came to enjoying herself.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Noble ladies; friends and acquaintances: A collection of Isabelle’s peers, either also involved with charity work for the brothels or generally in the vicinity. These relationships could span anyway from friendships to something antagonistic, but it would make sense for any (desperately misplaced) society ladies to know one another.

Bawds; in association: More likely to work to aid a matronly bawd than a pimp or anyone of bad character, but a good performance will easily sway her. The owner of the brothel most frequented by Isabelle would be more likely to take advantage of any incoming funds, donations or well wishes, be they for honest reasons or otherwise.

Harlots; supported and otherwise: While Isabelle is barely a bairn herself, she might come across as either a tremendous help or superbly patronising, but either way, she’d be sure to make herself known to those that live and work in the house.

How unexpected; a lover or seducer: There’s a great deal lying dormant in Isabelle that she’s never read in her lessons and avoided in gossip, but being surrounded by charming, attractive women, often in states of undress and usually with money on their mind will eventually lead her one way or the other. Whether that is toward someone genuine and caring or utterly taking advantage, or perhaps somewhere in the middle, will make all the difference.

[dkettchen]

Love to celebrate their reunion after 311 EPISODES of agony and educate the people on historical gay piracy while I’m at it

[eddysocs]

Introducing: Annabelle Barlow

Fandom: Harlots

Face Claim: Natalie Dormer

Full Name: Annabelle Olivia Barlow

Nickname/Alias/Pet Names: Belle

Age: 24

Myers Briggs Type: ESFJ

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Love Interest: Lydia Quigley

Occupation: Harlot

Collections: Ribbons and Lace

Style/Clothing: Brocade gowns, favoring various shades of green. Sometimes matching hats. Always wearing her garters. Adores any kind of lace.

Signature Quote: "I never could have foreseen this, but if I had, I would have saved you all the trouble of trusting me."

Plot Summary: With Margaret Wells intent on taking down her rival, Lydia Quigley, she recruits the help of her newest hire, Annabelle. And Annabelle is ready to take on such an enormous task, but she’s not ready for Lydia Quigley herself. Will her feelings get in the way of her mission? Whose side is she really on?

Forever Tags: @softgamerking, @vivis-ghost-wife, @randomfandoming1, @genius2050, @tinkerbellbleu, @puccasanluv, @perfectlystiles, @ocfairygodmother, @oreostars

Annabelle Tags: @tessstark, @zalera8310, @harlotwells

[hcrelegance]

[ NATALIE DORMER, SHE/HER , CIS FEMALE, 25 , 7-15£ depends on your social status and what you want to do with Aleksandra ] Aleksandra M. is a harlot  that makes their home on golden square. they are known to be SEDUCTIVE + COCKY, and originally hail from the Ottoman empire. you can find them working at the bawdy house. [ Kiki, she/her, 21, GMT+2 ]

Aleksandra moved to England (London) when she was 18 because she wanted to study. She soon realized that she would not be able to achieve her goal, so she found a job and started working in one of the best brothels in London. Although she is a harlot, she is very educated and with her culls she can talk about philosophy and literature, which makes her one of the most educated prostitutes there. She is an ideal choice for lords and people with royal titles.