#harem full of memes

[mellosdrawings]

Duo Magic

My boi Cater is very sought after.

I somehow keep pulling for cards that Duo Magic with Cater. My problem is that my lone Cater card does not know how to Split Card itself.

I really need another Cater. Or two. Or seven. Gimme all the Cater cards pls.

[phoenixcatch7]

We could make Sqq a transformer in his past life. Like optimus prime sorta transformer. Cybertronian.

He'd be the only surviving seeker (winged guy) on the autobots side (I don't know all the canons but I don't think they have, like, any). Pretty young when the war started - unfathomably ancient for humans, the kiddie of the group to them.

And he arrives on earth. Discovers the Internet. Immediately gets hooked on critiquing stupid Web novels in every language, which being a sentient machine he can do at great speed without forgetting anything. Decides to read the final chapter during a battle because he's so close to the end and airplane had better pull SOMETHING good. Is so infuriated (distracted) by the ending he messes up and immediately gets killed by some low level decepticon. After FIVE MILLION years of war he gets offed by some loser over a stupid human story that wasn't even very good. He dies SO furious.

And then he gets reborn a human.

He is, as the kids say, big mad.

How by Primus do they do anything??

[see-arcane]

Something I’ve been chewing on for this go-around of Dracula Season is the fact that, for all that I am absolutely 110% on board with the whole ‘Dracula wants Jonathan for himself, calls dibs, wants first taste, wants to keep him as part of the castle permanently, I too can love~ et cetera’ deal, I can admit now that I’ve been overlooking one very key part of the whole Bluebeard wifery setup.

And that’s the unavoidable fact that Dracula fully intends to leave Jonathan Harker to be drunk and collected by the Weird Sisters.

Now there’s all manner of guesswork to make about what exactly these three’s relationship to Dracula really is. A personal harem is usually the go-to, and what I usually land on as explanation, considering how things will play out in the future regarding his usual choice of vampiric victim. But others have suggested familial connections, going by Jonathan noting a couple similar traits between the two brunettes, ala facial features, hair, the same red eyes and so on, leaving Blondie as a potential wife the Count turned along with their daughters. Or hell, maybe they’re all actual sisters. We never get to know.

All we know is that they accuse Dracula of ‘Never loving,’ while Dracula stares meaningfully at Jonathan, insisting otherwise. And claims that the trio themselves know it is so from the past. Whatever past that is.

To that end, the Weird Sisters matter to Dracula. Enough to keep them fed, enough to not even put up a full villain monologue at them when they go against his orders to try and snatch Jonathan out from under him, followed by laughing in his face. Beyond his far-too-intimate interactions and abuses with Jonathan, this is the closest we get to seeing Dracula trying to be close with and/or properly*** interacting with someone. An exchange that ends not only with handing over the poor stolen baby in the sack, but outright promising Jonathan to the Sisters once Dracula is finished with him.

And that’s sticking with me this year. Because for all that I’ve joked and memed about it in the past, it never really whacked me over the head with the import and terror that comes with Jonathan’s opening line in this entry.

God preserve my sanity, for to this I am reduced.

Reduced. That’s the key word here.

Even if he doesn’t know all the rules, he knows now that he is no longer just a temporary prisoner. Not even a mere murder victim waiting out the clock. No. He has been reduced to a living decanter. A possession there to be nursed from and used and given as a gift from Dracula to his companions. Like a toy or a new pet.

At the risk of slight spoilers (avert your eyes first-time Dracula Dailiers!), two important lines are yet to come during Jonathan’s stay in Vampire Hell. One from Dracula:

But I am in hopes that I shall see more of you at Castle Dracula.

(Yes, he does think he’s very funny. Prick.)

And another from Jonathan:

At its foot a man may sleep—as a man.

Two vital beats.

The first, because it is a winking confirmation to all that Jonathan has feared. Namely, that Dracula and the Weird Sisters mean to never let him leave the castle again, alive, dead, or otherwise.

The second, because it shows that for all Jonathan is not aware of, he does rightly suspect that there is more expected of him than being a mere meal to have and discard. He knows he is not due for a fleeting pain and escape, even via death. Because Dracula wants to ‘love’ him. To keep him.

And Dracula will do so because he keeps the Weird Sisters, and they will keep him. A parting gift from their loving lord of the castle. The conqueror’s playbook in miniature.

I turned you. You turn him. I have you all.

This, buried under the veneer of:

See girls? I care! Here, a fine new plaything to keep you company. Housebroken already.

(To this I am reduced. To this I am reduced. To this I am reduced.)

There’s time right now. However much time Jonathan can win by playing a good guest. But if he doesn’t get out by the time Dracula is done with him? He lives the rest of his human life as a wine bottle and then all of eternity after that as joint undead property.

Better hope your acting skills are up to the task, Mr. Harker.

[klavlock]

cumplane poly au where they love their husbands. they love their husbands so much. luo binghe is shen qingqui's whole world and shang qinghua literally built his own ideal man.

but fuck, isn’t that the problem? sometimes, mobei jun isn’t REAL. he’s literally a figment of shang qinghua's imagination. this whole place is. and he’s been trapped in his own imagination so long he’s forgotten the world he came from. he can’t even remember his own birth name. but he remembers cucumber-bro. he remembers those abrasive comments, he remembers how those full takedowns of every thing he wrote made him feel. he remembers it better than he remembers his original parents faces.

it’s not— it’s not inherently romantic. for either of them. it’s a NEED. for shen qingqiu, there is exactly one person in the whole world who truly understands that longing for a world he doesn’t even want to go back to, not really. for shang quinghua, there’s only one person who gets him. the him from before. this beautiful, poised man with his fan language and obedient doting husband is also the only person who gets his love of memes and horrible porn and preservative-laden food.

they don’t do anything about it, because how could they? they’re loyal to their husbands, they love their husbands. but the thing is… proud immortal demon way was a harem novel once. and shang qinghua had written luo binghe and mobei jun with more emotional intelligence than was common for this world (mainly for his own sanity.) so… they don’t have to say anything. their husbands come to them.

and luo binghe is crying, and mobei jun is stone-still with clenched fists and a clenched jaw. but binghe BEGS his shizun to do what will make him happy. that seeing his shizun upset and hurting and longing is way worse than any jealousy could be. and mobei jun says nothing but when shang quinghua looks at him, he just nods in agreement.

so it’s not often. they don’t need it often. but now and then, when shen qingqiu is disassociating like a motherfucker luo binghe calls on his airplane bro to bring him back down to earth. or when shang qinghua is on his third day of no sleep, plagued by fears that none of this is even real, mobei jun teleports him directly to his cucumber-bro's bed for cuddles and kisses and horrible millennial memes whispered into his ear until hes laughing away his anxiety and - eventually - falling asleep.

mobei jun and lou binghe don’t understand it. but they are happy their husbands are happy. and that’s what matters.

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 3

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

PAIRING: FEM READER X ENHYPEN

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.

Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.

Do you accept?

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

READ THE FIRST CHAPTER:

"I'll wait for you to sober up a bit." Sighs Jay, laying towels on my arms doorways toward him.

I sincerely laugh, visibly nervous. "They call you mr. kindness?

"Look at your condition, doing it now…. - he tells me, lowering his gaze as he strokes my cleavage exposed by the plunging neckline of my humble t-shirt with his index finger. - It would be so easy."

"I don't have to if I don't want to." I remind him, dazed, now less by the alcohol than by him.

My breath is suddenly short, even though I'm not looking at his face I can see his neck, his pronounced jaw, the way his skin fills with breath, puffing up his broad chest, even too much seen so closely.

"True, but since you won't be able to refuse for another four days, I'd really take it - he explains almost in a whisper, as his fingers move over my neck, then pick up strands of hair to tuck behind my ear - on the personal."

"Not… care."

"Do you really want to lose your only ally here? In fact, the strongest."

I smile amused, isn't she going to have inferiority complexes or something? The situation in the house didn't seem that desperate at all, but it's true that I haven't spent even twenty-four hours in here and Jay doesn't seem like a fool to me, though, I mean…

I suddenly lift my gaze: shouldn't I think better of it instead? After all, I'm going to sleep with someone else sooner or later anyway, and it's not certain that "this" is intended as a bargaining chip for others as well - so if there really was a strange situation in this apartment, I could at least think of myself with an ally.

"Do you understand? You will give weight to my words when you see it."

"What's going on? I can still … try to get out of it…."

"That made you give up so quickly? And I was trying to persuade you nicely." He grins in surprise.

I shift my eyes in embarrassment. "You're putting pressure on me."

"I know." He says, and his hands begin to slide down my exposed arms. His touch is slow and heavy, I can feel every millimeter of my body under his fingertips.

"T-Then stop doing that."

"I think I will - he says. - If that's the situation, I should just take advantage of it, right?"

How? How dare he? First he offends me, then he calls me an object practically, then he decides to take such liberties, like lifting my t-shirt a few inches from my bra, and in all this, I don't react. It's not the alcohol, I know.

I can smell him perfectly, it's not perfume, he smells like a man. He hasn't showered yet, probably, but his fragrance is aphrodisiac as it penetrates my nostrils and seems to engulf me in a spell.

And to say they make a lot of memes about his hygiene - if only they knew how untrue it is!

Jay grabs me by the hips, lifts me onto the sink. Before he kisses me he looks at me, perhaps still seeking my consent, but my eyes are already full of him and I don't care enough whatever he thinks of me to pull back. I'm the one who instinctively pushes my lips against his, he doesn't pull back either, instead he tightens his tapering fingers behind the back of my neck, pressing my head against his face.

He bites my lips, caresses my hips, kisses my neck. I barely catch my breath between kisses, he's especially passionate, I don't quite understand what's going on but I feel like I'm on fire, like I have a fever. Deep down, I didn't think I could ever be in a situation like this, realistically.

To be able to see the pores of his skin, to feel his touch, to know what his lips taste like, it's all simply divine.

"Are you at least good at it?" He whispers, pressing his mouth to my ear as he clings to the elastic of my black leggings.

"Let's hope so." A shy tone comes out in my voice.

I hear him chuckle, it's pleasant, I don't know why.

"Hold on to me." He says, handing me his shoulders to which I meekly cling, he uses the opportunity to slip off my pants, I am left in my underwear in seconds. He looks into my eyes, then at my breasts, I feel it even fuller and more beautiful under his eyes, then he places his hand on my hip, grasping it.

"Don't… look at me like that." I whisper with shame.

"I like it to the point of annoyance."

I stare at him, feeling like smiling but for some reason not following my instincts. "Really?"

"I don't tell lies."

He unhooks my bra and caresses my modest breasts with his cheek. He bites the nipple rather aggressively, to the point that I gasp in pleasurable pain, but he abruptly uses his tongue to treat the wound, and only confused, stifled moans come out of my mouth.

"Really? From now on," I say, bravely sinking my fingers into his hair, clutching him to my chest for him to keep licking, to make me gasp like this, "if you tell even one lie, I won't believe anything you've told me."

"The all-or-nothing rule is fallacious, you know?" He asks, amused, as he sucks my breast, squeezes it, massages it.

I am completely defeated, voluntarily surrendering to his will.

After taking me in his arms like I don't weigh, he pushes me against the wall. We kiss again, and I am increasingly addicted. His kisses are impetuous, his tongue is expert, moving slowly, and as a few drops of pleasure slip between my thighs I can feel his fingers exploring my intimacy.

He puts in only two but they are enough to make me gasp again. I cling as if desperately, I don't do it on purpose, but it is hard to enjoy so much in such a position, and although his grip is firm and he holds me even with his leg as his swollen sex rests in my thigh, I still feel precarious.

He's different from all the guys I've been with; it's like I'm experiencing new sensations. It's not like I've never had a one-night stand with a beautiful boy, as in this case, and it's nothing more than that (aside from the fact that he is an established celebrity from one of the most famous bands in South Korea), sure, but maybe deep down I'm living every fan's dream of this guy.

I'm not a little girl anymore, I delude myself it's different but this situation is really dangerous, didn't the Hybe agents foresee this? I find it hard to believe that a rich, independent woman would still be able to handle something like this.

What if I became so infatuated with them that I wanted to ruin them? Well, maybe the Hybe goons would kill me.

But maybe that's okay, because then the woman loses so much value that she can never be anything to them - or even a problem for the company. What will remain will be the end of a delulu era and a few tears, but it will still be a funny page in my life, albeit a dangerously borderline one.

"I'll put it in, okay?" He says, pressing his lips to my cheek, he's laughing, still doing it.

I nod, lost in him now.

"You don't talk much, during…" He says, as I feel him rest his cock on my opening, then willingly let it slip a little between my large lips, which moisten it.

"I would just say - I moan, surprised to feel him enter suddenly and before I can finish the sentence, using my fingernails to grip his bare skin - obscenities."

"I want to feel them."

Man, man.

It's a little girl thing, isn't it? My heart is pounding.

I don't have time to notice because his pelvis literally punctuates the rhythm of my breathing, I feel him enter me with ferocity, it's as if he uses his whole body to pound into me, I feel full to my sternum.

I hold on tight, I don't want him to stop, I really don't want him to stop.

"S-Slower…" I try to say, slurring my words.

"And why?" He whispers amusedly, as if he already understood.

It sounds bad to say I'm desperate, doesn't it? I am desperate because of him, I never want him to stop, I need this moment to last longer, I want to feel him in my belly, along with the butterflies I haven't had in so long, he shakes them all.

He lifts me abruptly, to better weld his grip, but what I sense is only how he pulls his length out of me, inserting it again and abruptly inside me, trembling because of him.

My breathing is desperate, my gaze blank, he is desperate. He's not lucid either, I can see it in the way he squeezes his eyes shut, the way he breathes erratically, the drops of sweat that bead his forehead, too focused on the pleasure we are sharing.

Is the clock still ticking? I don't understand it, I don't know anymore.

"Ah… Jay… - I swallow, my mouth is full of saliva, like I'm hungry, resting my chin on his shoulder as his steady, assaultive strokes bounce me back onto him holding me by my thighs, resting his hands on my buttocks as he steals one kiss after another - more…more…"

"Please ask." He whispers so close to my ear again.

"Ple…please …"

He means it, maybe because I asked so pitifully, but he manages to go even faster than he has so far, and I don't understand how he doesn't sound the least bit tired after all this time holding me up.

I can't control my voice anymore, I feel him deeper and deeper inside me, the more he moves the more my breathlessness increases. It may be because he is a dancer, a professional, but what kind of stamina is this?

I can't even control my body anymore, I start to convulse, I need to stretch, he's going too fast, so fast I can't even hear my own thoughts. I see him take on a strange expression, very focused but also in pain. I am too focused on his beauty to realize it - ""luckily"" he notices and puts me down.

He's pulled it out, holding his majestic cock with his hand, breathing deeply. I am confused, guilty.

I was too involved to remind him that I take the pill on Hybe's orders.

I look at him wearily, as strands of hair dampened by sweat and the warmth of the bathroom, which normally shouldn't have such a high temperature without even having bathed, slip past my distraught eyes.

"Oh, what an ass." He says in a relieved tone.

"W-What?"

"I didn't want to come yet." He explains.

Yes, it's great, but I can't look away. What is… that stuff? Was it really that big? Is that why I felt it all the way to my sternum? Should I stop staring at it? I can't, anyway.

"Do you like it?" He asks, still holding it up and turning his body toward me.

Guilty.

"So what do you say…" with his gaze he points to his cock, big and veiny, perhaps the first I've seen of this kind, in Korea.

He doesn't say anything else, his smirk is enough for me to realize that I will bend on my knees, prostrate myself to him helplessly, it doesn't matter anymore who he is, or I am, there is nothing else in this moment, in the world.

It is strange, my heated skin makes contact with the cold floor but not a shiver. The heat is inside my body, burning like a forest has just been given to the stake, every inch of my skin is on fire because of him.

I can smell my scent mixed with his as soon as I take him in my hand, and as I languidly lift my gaze to his, Jay caresses my head. He doesn't push it, he doesn't need to, he knows I'll do what I can, I want my lips to be able to touch his pubes, although judging by the thickness and partly by the length, that will prove to be a tall order.

"Good." He says, as I begin to lick him, moving his hand from my hair to my face.

Why? That annoying fluttering again. No Amanda, don't let your daddy issues take over, deal with it in a mature way, don't brood over it.

I do what I can, it's not easy to take it all in my mouth, my hand tightens around the base, moving with the movement of my lips, for a second I swallow over half its length, and a second later I pull it out with difficulty, as lines of saliva build bridges between me and him. I want to go deeper, I want to have more.

I hear him moaning, differently than before, now he is not exerting any force, pressure, he is completely free to surrender to the pleasure and as he lifts his chin making almost guttural sounds, I can only continue, inch by inch, to have more and more.

Perhaps I don't want him to think me inexperienced, perhaps I want him to have a good memory of it so that I can once again take advantage of him, of his body.

When I suffocate, literally, because of him, I see him burst out laughing as gently pulls my head away from his sex. "You did good, now let me do it."

Did he laugh at me? I failed, I guess.

And so he grabs both my hips, spinning me around, this time my back is to him and I can't look at his face, a little sorry. At the same time, however, feeling him knead my ass, as his intimacy presses against mine again, reddened and swollen, because of him, erases all doubt.

"Are you on the pill?"

"A-Ah… - I stammer, continuing to do so in front of him, starting to annoy me - yes."

"That's great. You know, you shouldn't tell other people…" He advises me, though it doesn't have the dispassionate tone of a recommendation at all, but of threatening advice, as he plunges it into my humors, suddenly.

I groan, it's inevitable. "M-Maybe I will, m-m….maybe I won't…"

That no from me is enough for him to gather my hair, twisting it in his hand, tightening it like a rope, pulling it, but I feel no pain. "Now you don't beg anymore?"

He pulls me to himself, arching my back I can feel his size even more, inside my belly, inside my body. "No…"

Jay doesn't answer, at least in words, because he begins to charge animalistically into me, he is more comfortable, he can force his legs up and you can feel it all, the force I mean. My body bounces like lifeless on the rhythm of the song that produces his. Yes, because his every movement is music to me at this moment.

After long, intense minutes, what comes out of my mouth are inhuman verses, a mix of tiredness, weakness and total addiction. My body is devastated, because of him. I feel like convulsing, he holds me by the arms, I have my cheek resting against the now-warm marble of the sink.

I hear him gasp louder, then hold back, I know what is happening, I can feel it because my belly has just warmed up. After a long stream of warm pleasure inside me, Jay stays still, breathing or trying to at least.

I am exhausted, to the point that as soon as he slides out of me, I fall to my knees. I am devastated, physically as much as psychologically, because it hasn't felt this good in a long time, no, maybe it never has. It's a first for me, in a way.

"Are you… okay?" He asks me, as he lifts up his black pants, which have fallen to his ankles the whole time.

"Yes…"

"Really?" He holds out his hand to me, seeming to recover.

I still have his humors dripping down my inner thigh, but he looks at me as if nothing has happened. "Really."

Afterwards, he explains to me how to use the bathroom, we manage to talk normally, or rather, he acts normal, and this sincerely gives me the feeling of being a colleague, wanting to be nice. I spoke little, still in shock.

"If I'm already asleep when you come back, wake me up. I'll move."

"I'll try not to." I smile weakly, still tired.

"If you touch me when you sleep, it's okay. Just not too close."

"I'm not going to-"

He freezes me, puts a finger over my mouth, presses it so that I stop moving my lips. "Lock up, anyway."

When I walk him to the door, Jay heads to his room but I can't help noticing there's someone else across the hall, I turn away when I sense his presence closer.

"Have you started yet?" He asks, surprised but amused, I think.

"Ah…no. I mean-"

"Even if you are here for that, you could have waited a while."

I was wrong, I'm a pest to him, too.

It's not that I'm surprised, they may be handsome and famous, but they are men, and men are strangely too equal to each other, as if in an unspoken camaraderie. There will be different ones and there will be good ones, I'm sure, but I haven't met any yet, so they must be very few.

However, being a fan myself, I feel bad about it. I mean, it's normal for me to feel bad about giving such an idea to people I like so much. Besides, I had a different idea about him, I thought that he himself would be the least critical - but why did I think that?

At the very least, I reflect, seeing them like this will make the mystical and pure aura that hovers around them fade away in my eyes.

"I do what I'm here to do." I answer him, suddenly fearless, my pride is blatantly wounded.

"It was just a advice, why do you get hot?" Heeseung asks, laughing and moving closer.

"I'm not warming up."

He is one step away from me when he stops. "Don't wear it, I read it ruins tits." He advises me again.

I chase the direction of his gaze, right - even though I'm dressed I'm not wearing a bra, and judging by my nipples, it shows. "But…"

"You wore it before, didn't you?"

Now I look him in the eye, it devastates me but I try to maintain some form of dignity by remaining serious.

I am too embarrassed to realize how beautiful he is up close.

"What do you want?"

"I'm giving you another advice."

I step back into the doorway, not quite lucid enough for him to make fun of me, and no matter how much just looking at him makes me feel like the center of a tornado, he's annoying me.

Heeseung puts his foot in the door before I can close it. "You don't listen to advice, do you?"

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Actually, I feel my privacy has been violated by a stranger."

"Then ask them to send me away, maybe they will listen to you. You're quite authoritative, aren't you? You're Lee Heeseung."

He smiles, as if pitying me, but why should he? "By the way, you said you were a fan, who is your bias?"

Ah. I didn't expect this one, he really changed the subject, putting me in an uncomfortable situation.

Suddenly my hands begin to tingle and my body to boil-essentially, by spending time with Jay, I have normalized that these people in front of me are Enhypen, and that I am still obsessed with each of them.

Why am I blushing? Am I an idiot?

"I don't have it."

"Liar, you took a long time to answer."

"N-No, I mean it."

"Ah, you don't say that because it's really me?" He asks me, with an innocent expression and a dazzling smile, I seem to melt in front of him.

I giggle in confusion. "You wish."

"So you don't want to go against the others? Is that why you won't tell me? Look, I'm not a snitch."

Is he trying to convince me as if I were a child? Ah, that's annoyingly adorable.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because it seems like an interesting experiment. An engene, in our dormitory, to have free access to every member - she nods, raising her eyebrows convincingly, I continue to stare at the perfect shape of her smiling lips - she will try to conquer her bias, no? I'd like to observe him."

I laugh, genuinely. Can I believe that he doesn't know? Or is it precisely because he knows that he wants to observe him?

Conquer? But who am I supposed to conquer in my situation? It's hard enough to find a normal guy with an open mind, should talented kids who expect everything to be owed to them be?

"Are you kidding me?"

"Just a little." His laughter fades into a warm smile.

And of course, he knows.

"So why did you want to know?"

"Because I'm curious, by nature I guess."

"Then I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you'll never get an answer."

He removes his foot, not seeming at all impressed by my knockout response, but whatever, I close the door without even saying goodbye. Now that I am finally alone, leaning against the sink again, I look at myself in the mirror.

My heart is about to burst, my brain is the on the verge of its worst short-circuit, my muscles are trembling.

Did this really happen? All of this? With Jay? With his…body? And that fits into the korean standard? What about Heeseung? Wasn't he a little too handsome? I can feel it, at this rate I'll end up going crazy.

NEXT CHAPTER:

[izzabela]

Karaoke Pick-Me-Up - Earthrealm players x GN!reader

in which a date you went on went horribly, and the Earthrealm boys design a karaoke night for you

ships: raiden, kung lao, kenshi & johnny x gn!reader

warnings: incredible amounts of fluff, harem(?), you're as dense as a rock to the feelings of these men, NOT POLY

based on the "Oh fuck, it's in Korean!" meme

You were completely lost- your mind in a different plane of existence as you felt Kung Lao's elbow connect with your cheek, a dirty left-hook sending you tumbling and grounded.

Groaning, you get up slower than usual and hold onto your cheek, a bruise already forming and turning yellow-green.

"By the gods, are you alright?!" Kung Lao calls to you, rushing to your side to help you up.

You strain, leaning into his shoulder as you continue to hold onto your cheek. Kung Lao's exclamation alerts the attention of the other boys, Kenshi, Johnny, and Raiden, who disregard their sparring partners and head over to you and Kung Lao. At the sight, Johnny, Raiden, and Kenshi quickly piece the story together, looking at the prideful farmer with eyes ablaze.

The Fengjian-native is begging for his life with his eyes, while his friends are already planning creative ways to dispose of him. The commotion is enough to get Liu Kang involved, a couple of monks behind him as he rushes to the growing crowd.

"Is everything alright?" Liu Kang asks, authority emanating from his tone.

Kung Lao steps up immediately, "I am so sorry, Lord Liu Kang. We were sparring under the direction of one of the monks. I went too hard and hurt them in the process, but they didn't even bother to block! When the hit landed, it was too late for them, and me..."

Liu Kang looks at you, softness in his eyes, "Is this true?"

You nod and smile weakly, "Yes, Lord Liu Kang. I'm just a bit out of it today. With your permission, I'd like my wounds tended to."

Liu Kang thinks for a bit, but ultimately lets you go, "One of the monks will accompany you to the infirmary. Please, rest well." His voice calls your name, kindness and a bit of pity in his voice.

He turns to the rest of the boys as soon as you walk away, "Everyone else, back to training. The tournament may be months away, but we cannot afford to linger and waste our efforts."

Everyone bows, Kenshi, Johnny, Raiden, and Kung Lao heading off back to their posts. However, Liu Kang grabs onto Kung Lao's shoulder, to which he audibly gulps.

"You, on the other hand, will remain by my side," he says with some harshness.

Kung Lao turns around and sees Liu Kang point to the space next to him. He sighs and gets on his knees, the gravel mildly uncomfortable for him. His arms are raised and in the air, this punishment eerily similar to the ones he used to get when he was in grade-school.

A couple of hours later, plus Kung Lao getting an earful from each of the boys, they decide to check on you in the infirmary. Weirdly, you never came back to training for the rest of the day, and it bothered them because: 1. Liu Kang doesn't breaks nilly-willy, and 2. It isn't the designated break day of the week.

As the boys walk together, they still pick at Kung Lao and his poor string of choices.

"How many times must I apologize before I am accepted again?" He pleas behind them.

Raiden sighs, turning to his best friend, "When we feel like it, Kung Lao. After all, a left-hook like that was definitely meant for more than a spar."

He groans and looks to Johnny, the (usually) happy-go-lucky man of the people. However, Johnny's filled with reason, a rare occurrence.

"Sorry, farm boy, but Raiden's right. That move was uber uncalled for."

He sighs, not bothering to ask for Kenshi's point of view, a gnawing feeling telling him that he'll parrot what they'd already said.

Nearing the infirmary, they notice the slide-window is open, allowing full view of your face and... Lord Liu Kang? The boys look among each other and decide to close in on your conversation with the fire god. After all, is it stalking when they're worried for a friend? Staying out of sight, all four of them can hear the entire conversation you're having with him.

"It's nothing, Lord Liu Kang, my mind was just occupied with something else. Tomorrow, I will be at my best."

"Worry often takes energy from the task at hand. I would like all of my champion-candidates in the best shape possible; that includes mentally."

The men look amongst one another. What did he mean by that? And what exactly happened during last week's designated break day? You groan and lay down, explaining your dilemma to the god without looking at him.

"I, uh, went on a date during last week's break day. This person I'd really been eyeing agreed to bowl with me, and I thought we hit it off pretty well. I mean, I thought we hit it off well..."

Outside, the four boys pitied your situation, Johnny and Kenshi relating a little harder than the younger men. Kung Lao sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, whispering to his friends.

"Do you all think I knocked them deep into their thoughts?"

Raiden smacks the back of his head, a quick thwack throwing Kung Lao's head forward making his hat fall off as well.

You continue, "At the end of our night together, this person told me that they weren't interested. Worse, they said that they went along with it as part of a bet."

Liu Kang's face morphed into something between disgust and sadness, and your friends outside were planning the murder of this person. Why would anyone do that, especially to you? You're kind, hilarious, and hot- the perfect combo! Their hearts broke for you even more, staying silent to hear the rest of your story. They can hear your rustling in bed, turning and shifting in some sort of position.

You sighed loudly, "I had planned to go to a karaoke bar after bowling, trying to end the night on a positive note. Instead, I just sat in that room alone, crying quietly."

They hear Liu Kang speak, "I am sorry for such an experience, my friend. That person does not deserve your kindness or heart."

You nod, "Silly of me to cry over something like that, huh? I'm over here, learning how to fight to protect our home, yet I dwell on such matters."

Liu Kang disagrees, "Demigod or not, I understand this feeling very well. This is a matter that means much to you, so do not disregard your own pain for the benefit of something else."

The boys agree, nodding and whispering how to go and cheer you up. If Liu Kang wanted you at your best, the boys would be part of helping you get back to where you were. They quickly left their hiding spots, figuring out what you needed in order to be yourself again.

"You think they'd like dinner at Madame Bo's? Madame Bo wouldn't mind, and we all know how much they like to eat," Kung Lao offers.

While a great idea, Kenshi disagrees, "They must be feeling like a burden right now. We need something that erases that feeling. Sure, having someone cook for you is great, but what about the idea that 'Oh, they must be cooking for me because they have to?'"

Motion carries among the men, Kung Lao also accepting defeat as they keep brainstorming ways to help you. Raiden offers an attempt too, a much softer idea.

"What about a day in the hot springs? There's a great local spot near mine and Kung Lao's place, and nothing beats a hot bath to take your mind off from bad memories."

This time, Johnny speaks some sense about this idea.

"As much as that's a great idea, they might feel forced to relax instead of doing it themselves. We need something that screams 'burden begone!'" Johnny finishes his wisdom with some funky jazz hands.

Raiden accepts his loss, heading back to the mental drawing board of ideas to help you feel better. All that thinking must've felt like an eternity, because they've all made it only to the courtyard. Dummies all cleaned up and in order, training weapons put away, and the torches lighting up the paths in the night, Kung Lao exclaims with an idea.

"I got it! Everyone, listen up..."

=====================

A couple of days later, it was this week's designated day off. You had been beating yourself up over the last couple of days, subjecting your body to more stress and strain to make up for your inadequacies and actions. Once the monks and Liu Kang dismiss you and the rest of the champion-candidates for your break, you immediately head into your room and pack up.

Briskly walking away, you were stopped by the illustrious actor himself. A dramatic hand outstretched, his chin up and proud. You smile playfully and ask what's up.

"My friend," he begins with a dramatic British accent, "I request your presence at my manor this evening. Seven p.m., on the dot, for a celebration in your honor is in order."

You hear a set of feet pitter-patter behind you, Kung Lao's figure in front of you with a rolled up piece of paper. You chuckle and take it, playing along with the skit.

"Thank you, servant. I shall be upon you when the time comes. However, good sir, it is not my day of birth. So, pray tell, what this occasion could possibly be for?"

Behind some bushes, Kenshi and Raiden watch the scene in front of them unfold, the former smacking his hand onto his forehead. Raiden laughs quietly, still watching your movements. They sit there, guarding the stuff they had packed early, waiting for them to return.

Kenshi scoffs, "I can't believe we agreed to this..." Raiden, agreeing with his feelings, points out to him the undeniable truth.

"We cannot be mad at Johnny and Kung Lao, though. Look at them, they're making them smile already."

Kenshi watches in behind the shrubbery and notices the radiant smile on your face. His face reddens just a smidge before turning away, rubbing his face to rid the natural warmth to floods it. Raiden, on the other hand, wears his feelings with pride as his blush is more apparent.

After bidding farewell, Kung Lao and Johnny get to where the other two are, stating the success of the invitation. At this, the boys gathered their belongings and dashed into the open portal, being quick and trying to remain unseen.

After all, they had a party to plan.

=====================

You arrive at the front of Johhny's mansion, well, "large house". Since the divorce from his wife, he had down-sized to something "smaller", yet the house still remained rather roomy- it had a movie room and a large patio overlooking the shore of the west coast. You put a brave face on, trying to forget what happened last week. After all, you would be with your friends, and that alone would make you feel a lot better.

The door swings open and Johnny's bright smile is on, holding a microphone in one hand, and taking your arm with his other. You're taken aback by this, but you can't think about it as you're dragged into his house. You can hear the bumping of a stereo system, and a voice singing quite loudly with a faint echo.

The media room's door is cracked ajar just a bit, but in the crack you can see Kung Lao belting a Chinese song, a song that sounds like something the aunties in Chinatown would sing during Chinese New Year. Raiden and Kenshi are laughing, the former playing the tambourine and the latter filming on his phone.

"Guys, guys! Our honored guest is here!" Johnny announces.

You sheepishly wave your hand, "Hey guys... what's all this?"

Kung Lao stops singing for a bit, the instrumental continuing, "It's, uh, our rest day hang out day!"

You sigh and roll your eyes, "Great cover, but I don't buy it. Seriously, what is it?"

Johnny can feel the mood depress, and Kenshi spills the beans.

"We, uh, overheard your conversation with Lord Liu Kang in the infirmary. We wanted to cheer you up, make you feel better before the tournament. You mentioned karaoke, so, uh, well..."

Raiden comes up to you and takes your hand into his, rubbing it lightly with his thumbs, "You don't deserve what that person did to you. Your very being lights up the room, ignites our hearts. We want to keep your flame alight."

The boys nod in agreement, Kung Lao sending a finger heart your way. You smile fully, pearly whites in view as you accept their kindness. These four boys, all from different backgrounds and stages of life, befriended you, trained with you, and learned to love every part of you.

While you thought it simply being platonic, the others have been eagerly waiting to give you their heart, and were burning holes into the back of Raiden's head with the stunt he pulled.

"Well then," you announced, unclasping your hands from his, "Let's get tonight rolling!"

The evening commenced as the boys had hoped, you jumping into every opportunity to sing, dance, and enjoy yourself with your friends. You sang duets with Kung Lao, wept at Raiden and Kenshi's solo songs, and became an accompaniment with the provided tambourine to Johnny's songs. It played out like a coming-of-age movie; and you didn't want this to end.

Many songs, duets, and hours later, you decide to switch it up and play a K-pop song, a girl group for you, Johnny, and Kung Lao to sing. Raiden was taking a bit of a break, and Kenshi had gone to the bathroom, making you three the only available singers for the moment. As the song plays, though, you see Kung Lao having second thoughts.

"Oh fuck, it's in Korean!" he exclaimed. Johnny, however, makes no mistake as he sang the intro.

You, Kung Lao, Raiden, and Kenshi (who opened the door after relieving himself) were in shock at the actor's talent. Fluent Korean passed his lips as he clutched his t-shirt, pouring his soul into the song. You couldn't take it anymore and fell to your knees, wheezing and gasping for air as you laughed/cried at the scene in front of you.

Johnny doesn't care though. He peaks from the corner of his eye and watched you clutch onto your stomach, the sound of your laughter filling his heart up with butterflies.

Kung Lao steals Kenshi's phone, swiping to begin recording this, "Lord Liu Kang is going to love this!"

You don't really remember the rest of the night, knocking out cold and sleeping first. However, as you slept, you could hear hushed voices, movement of equipment and bodies, and the adjustment of fabrics before you were scooped up and put onto a bed. Instead of a blanket, however, the four men cuddled against you, providing the necessary warmth needed to keep you softly asleep.

Snuggling into the warmth and protection of the four men, you sleep peacefully, grateful for the Elder Gods to have blessed you with amazing friends.

=====================

bonus scene - the Lin Kuei

Liu Kang was a bit worried when you five didn't come through the portal for training. A little peeved, he sent Bi Han, Kuai Liang, and Tomas to fetch you five from Johnny's home and bring you back to the Academy. While Tomas and Kuai Liang were okay with it, Bi Han was (understandably) pissed off.

"Those doddering fools, making us do petty chores-"

"Easy brother," Kuai Liang coaxed, "Let us finish the task, then we can hear your rambles."

Bi Han grabs the handle, but it's unlocked, which sends all three of them into fight mode. Slowly entering the door, they quietly creep through the dimmed house, making their way upstairs. Bi Han splits his brothers up to search the rooms to his left and right, while he walks slowly towards the door in front of him. It's cracked just a smidge, to which he slams it open in order to prevent an ambush.

The only thing he got ambushed with, though, was incredible amounts of fluff radiating from the "missing" champion-candidates, sleeping soundly. Light snores, breathing, and huffs can be heard from the pile as Bi Han sighs behind his mask.

Tomas chuckles behind him, "Well, looks like Lord Liu Kang doesn't have to worry anymore." Kuai Liang also agrees with him.

"This reminds me of our youth, brother. Do you remember?" Kuai Liang asks, "You and I used to sleep around Tomas when-"

He huffs, turning away and walking back downstairs. Tomas and Kuai Liang shrug, used to his antics. Bi Han, however, remembers his childhood memories fondly. While his mask hides it, a small smile sits behind it.

=====================

guys, you don't understand, i have so many ideas, headcanons, and storylines for all my fave MK1 characters.

I'm thinking of a ship-fic between kitana and raiden, or ashrah and syzoth- i don't know!

God bless tumblr, and see yall in my next fic!

[nibbelraz]

sup homeslice i come to u with moshang related queries. Answer some, one, or none idk

Who is the one that kills/moves the (probs poisonous demon) spider out of the bathroom? Do either of them cower?

Do u think they would be capable of having a pet or even, like, a plant?

What are the modern slang terms that sqh lets slip and mbj ends up subconsciously adopting (imagine mbj remarking on sqh's lack of rizz. Utter destruction)

Oh also random cumplane thought: they both have intense meme withdrawal, which led them to hand drawing memes/reaction images on smth similar to note cards that they can whip out when needed. Cultivation world version of the meme folder in the phone of every chronically online millenial/gen z

Bro. Shen Yuan has totally made fandom-type memes about the harem webnov he TOTALLY HATES

Kk bye

YES YES GIVE ME ALL YOUR MOSHANG RELATED QUESTIONS AND CUMPLANE I really do love them both

1. Shang Qinghua is capable of moving the poisonous demon spider outside, However the second he actually sees is without warning he screams so loudly Mobei jun is in there in a second and attacking it on sight.

2. They would have many types of pets depending on the situation but I liked the idea of Shang Qinghua being in tune with the beasts of his world as the author so there's a ton of monsters that follow him and protect him and also get nice belly scratches

3. I believe he quotes old Vine memes daily, especially when he's stressed and hasn't slept in 3 days so it's just him with his king traveling and

"Road work ahead..." and an increasingly confused Mobei who sees nothing wrong with the path they're taking and is concerned

And yes they have so much meme withdrawal I BELEIVE IN MY HEART OF HEARTS SHEN YUAN CAN DRAW A BEAUTIFUL RENDER OF LUO BINGHE PRE TRANSMIGRATION ART STYLE and he shows this to Shang Qinghua with also a drawing of Hatsune Miku

Also Shang Qinghua drawing and sending letters to Shen Qingqiu that are just full of memes like he opens one after Shen Qingqiu talks for a solid chunk of the page about binghe and how absolutely perfect he is in every way with everyone being in love with him but then says not in a gay way and Qinghua replies back with

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

Masterlist

A.n : So I reached my main goal of the beginning!!!! 1k in both Wattpad and Ao3 !!! Lessgoo!!!!! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

Thank you everyone who read and liked this story and gave votes and kudos!! You guys inspire me to keep on writing!!!

As for the promised QnA. I think I'll do that once all the harem characters have joined. This type of thing won't happen much after all.

Also I promise I'm working on the next chapter. (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) till it comes, here's some songs that goes with the story/ reminds me of them. Warning, I'm shit with love songs.

I'm not going to release the full playlist yet since it contains heavy spoilers. Same thing with the Oc's.

(Y/n)'s playlist

- Fictional by khloe rose.

(The feelings the reader had since she was little. Also the type of song that inspired me to write this self insert fanfic.)

- Rat by Penelope Scott

(This describes the relationship between the reader and her dad. How she feels deep inside. Also, I dunno if this counts much as a spoiler, but her dad is an engineer, so yeah. )

- W.I.T.C.H by Devon cole

(Wether someone calls her a witch or an ogre, she doesn't care. She can handle herself and that's all that matters.

And we stan a strong queen in this household)

Alastor x (Y/n)

-Never ever getting rid of me by Kimiko gleen

(You made him fall in love, so be prepared to deal with him 24/7.

Cause he ain't going anywhere honey)

Charlie x (Y/n)

- Adore by Mindy gleehill

( And here she goes, singing again. But this time it's directed towards the reader.

Poor girl can't control her heart around you. )

Vaggie x (Y/n)

- Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

(She knows she can treat you better then any man can.

And she's going to prove it )

Cherri Bomb x ( Y/n)

- Favourite by Isabel Larosa

(She's quite jealous of all the others stealing your attention. So can you really blame her for wanting to be your favourite?)

Pentious x (Y/n)

- Honeypie by Jawny

(He is determined to make you his and he won't stop till he does that.

He also can't get enough of your sweetness<3 )

Lucifer x (Y/n) [this is considering he gets chosen as a love interest]

- Checklist by Max

( What do you need? He's got it covered. He's going to spoil you rotten to have you all to himself.

The ruler of hell doesn't slack off in this area )

Husk x (Y/n)

- Older by lsabell Larosa

( I HAD to put this song here. Besides who wouldn't like an older man you could easily rely on?

This is basically reader's feelings about him.)

Angel x (Y/n)

- New side of me by Blake Roman

( He can't help but feel soft inside when he thinks about you. And it scares him.

He's never had anyone love him like you before.)

Niffty and (Y/n) [platonic]

- Sweet little psycho

(She's your very own sweet but psycho puppy.

Anyone disturbs you too much? Release her over them. :) )

Vox x (Y/n) [Will come in future]

-Criminal by Brittney spears

(He's our pathetic lovable criminal. You know you shouldn't fall for him, but what can you say?)

Adam x (Y/n) [ Will come in future]

- Genius by LSD

( Don't be fooled, he's no genius no matter what he might say. But he did make the correct call by falling for someone like you.

Someone who can manhandle and keep him in line.)

Lute x ( Y/n ) [Will come in future]

- Love like you

(She doesn't understand how she of all people managed to fall for you. This feeling should be a sin.

Yet, when she gets close to you, she can't regret it. )

An Animalistic Disaster playlist

- Can't sleep love by pentatonix

(I can just imagine the reader and Melody talking in phone like this. The reader can't decide what to do with all these feelings since all her fictional crushes have actually come to life AND living with her. She can't decide if she should act on it or not. Melody is already done with her shit and telling her to go back to sleep.)

- Bang bang by K'naan

( Okay, this is for my own brain rot. This is for everyone in the harem x reader. I can see the animation meme happening clearly in my head.

Every line is sang by different characters and when the 'bang' parts comes, a animal turns into human after getting hit by reader's love shot :)

Like-

She was walking around with a loaded shotgun - Angel

Ready to fire me a hot one - Cherri

It went- Charlie

*Sheep Charlie* BANG *human Charlie*

*Squirrel Cherri* BANG * Human Cherri*

*Deer Alastor* BANG * *Human Alastor*

Straight through my heart - Alastor

Maybe one day, if I learn to do animation.  I'll make something like this. )

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

[indelicateink]

people. the Interview with the Vampire anonymous kink meme has busted through into the triple digits with requests! aaaaaaa!!!!

summing up the smorgasbord of kinks & themes & tropes we are currently playing with (eta: to be clear, kink and/or sex is not necessary in requests! all prompts are very welcome. this is only a list of some of the ideas going on...which you should definitely add to, raunchy or not):

loustat corset/restricted breathing kink | loumand public sex | loustat monsterfucking | loumand BDSM including impact play, pain play, spanking, more | loustat biological imperative and consensual non-con | magnus/lestat non-con, harem | louis/omcs & armand/omcs non-con creampie, felching | claudeleine face sitting, squirting, semi-public sex | louis/armand&lestat&daniel camgirl | loumandstat double penetration | loumand BDSM, switching roles | armandaniel puppy play | armand/daniel/louis roleplay | dreamstat/louis bath house/public sex | loustat crossdressing | lesmand BDSM | lestat/nicky&armand&others compulsion, breeding, creampie, mpreg | louis/dreamstat erotophonophilia | lesmand hatesex | marius/daniel non-con touching | louis/daniel foot fetish | loumand + rose toy | loustat werewolf sex | loumand dub-con mind control | loustat sex while trapped | marius/armand/lestat embarrassment during sex | claudeleine voyeurism | armandaniel master/pet | loustat sex in tight spaces/accidental stimulation | loustat & magnus/lestat cuckolding | santiago/armand humiliation | loustat/omc dub-con mind control sex including spitroasting | santiago/armand + TdV polycule | armandaniel dub-con BDSM including humiliation, impact play, more | loustat forced orgasm | dreamstat/louis rape fantasy | loustat subspace, cockwarming | loustat pregnancy kink | loustat armandaniel claudeline lesmand forced orgasm, hypnotism, somnophilia | loumand storytelling & masturbation | loustat consensual somnophilia | magnus/lestat sadism, non-con | loustat consenusal non-con, aphrodisiac, exhibitionism | loustat impact play, injury, wounds as tropies | loustat orgasm denial | armandaniel marius/armand mpreg & infidelity

other acts and flavors in the mix: hurt/comfort, threesome, cunnilingus, rimming, intercrural sex, promiscuity, grief, being closeted, sex work, power imbalance, forbidden love, intimacy, awkward crushes, jealousy, incoherence due to pleasure, shame, whump, dead dove, cheating, drunk sex, first time, dream sex, negotiated sex, accidental bonding, drugged sex, outing, possessive behavior, sugar daddy

the list of requests has the full prompts

feeling inspired? fill a prompt or make a request (to request, be signed in to AO3 [it's still anon] by clicking on the prompt form button on the left-side menu)

writing takes time--we have two fills so far this week with the influx of prompts, and a few people have made some pending claims

one million million thank yous to @vampire-dove for maintaining this anon kink meme for us.

[yermes]

Advice on magic practice and tarot practice ft my first oracle deck 🫐

↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅

↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅

Pick a meme

123

↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅

Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅

Socials: TipJar | Follow me! | Event

↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅

The cards

Full moon in gemini 👒

Your practice will only work if you are true to yourself with it. Theres so much (mis)information running around and so much influence from others, but what do you like/want. Take time to discuss and discover internally to understand your style and practice. Its okay to get a little influenced especially when nothing is original, but you can speak to yourself to actually understand what you like.

Fixed moon 🌙 

Just say it, just do it, anything ever that has ever been accomplished: mentally, spiritually, and physically has been achieved with action. Buy the tarot deck, buy the esoteric doctrine. If people don’t like it who the fuck cares. If its natural to you and the course of action calls to walk with yourself in a magic practice then walk bitch 😩 

South node 🪻

Understand why you want to practice and don’t start practice for external reasons. To walk with some divinity is totally fine, to walk with divinity to force someone ur obsessed with to join ur harem???? (True story) now I hate telling people what to do but generally I do recommend not to get in for spiteful or almost evil motives. Think about the real reasons you would like to start

↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅

Extras: 🌸

Story/vent:

Tmrw is the last day ppl can ask for the event!

↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅↟ ⋆ ❅

[nozoditz]

what your favourite precure season says about you, in no particular order

(or in the order I thought was funny. Please don't take offence to any of the jokes, this is all for fun. I'm making fun of myself too here.)

Max Heart: Whenever the debate starts up about low-combat seasons, no-combat seasons, what counts as low combat, whether you blame broadcast standards and practices, whether certain seasons should even be counted in the franchise, it's always you.

Heartcatch: You used to be new blood. You wore the new-blood badge proudly. Now you're old guard, and you're taking this about as well as you take the cashier at the liquor board store not carding you anymore.

Fresh: Every other redemption arc in the franchise is under a microscope with you people. Whether it was emotional enough. Whether they were sad enough. Whether they were too evil to deserve it or not evil enough to warrant it. Whether they're gay enough with the MC. We get it, you already have the gold standard in front of you!

Mahoutsukai/Mahou Girls/Witchy: You know how people used to turn up their noses at Precure and call it "the magical girl show for yuri fans"? You took that as a recommendation.

Otona/Full Bloom: You people deserve a war medal for how much shipping discourse you have to deal with every day out there. And a drink. [smash cut to the second Otona collab cafe being the first official Precure event with a liquor licence] Well, you got one of those things.

Doki Doki: You either go all in on the "stealth yuri harem show" thing or you have very strong opinions on which specific girl Mana should be with and how much better that girl deserved in general from the writers.

Tropical-Rouge: Memelord. You have watched Monopoly Mermaid Monday every week for years. You have put low-poly images of Kururun in every possible situation. You have substituted Asuka into every meme about characters from other shows being some kid's lesbian awakening. The animation errors are in your blood.

Star Twinkle: You have Opinions about all the times that the plot, setting, characters, merch, and screentime levels pivoted to try and drum up toy sales. I feel for you poor souls. On a meta level, this is the Go-Busters of Precure.

Hirogaru/Soaring Sky: You have a conspiracy board of how Sora/Mashiro is canon and how the staff are clearly suffering and straining to show it without the censors getting on their case. Possibly a literal conspiracy board on the actual wall of your home.

Go! Princess: I have never seen the reverse of "they're not gay, it's just admiration" as strongly as I have with you. You guys have just-friends goggles for Haruka/Kanata welded onto your face so she can end up with whichever other girl(s) you prefer instead. Live your best life.

Futari wa: You are a nostalgia fiend, the world's strongest Nagihono shipper, suffered in that 2010s wave of people complaining about Nagisa being a pessimistic whiner when her developing through that was half the point of the show, and still probably call Hikari useless and/or a third wheel. The first three points are valid, but get over the last one.

Smile: You will not watch anything that is 13 episodes or shorter. To you, people calling for the end of filler are calling for the end of character development, breathing room, and likeable characters and stories. Also you just love how silly it got.

5GoGo: This is basically the same as Smile but you had to walk uphill both ways in the snow for almost six years.

HappinessCharge: You could give an impassioned speech about how so many people had ideas about what this season should be that they never slowed down to appreciate what it is. But you're too chill for that and you just meme about Mars, wedding chicken, and eye lasers.

Healin' Good: You will never forgive COVID or the Olympics.

Splash Star: You originated the "Girly Dragon Ball" meme. There is no way a Splash Star fan isn't out there trying to evangelize their show to people who dismiss the season, series, and genre. It worked for Princess Tutu, you're convinced it's going to work for you.

Hugtto: You have opinions about the ending. You have opinions about which ships are canon and which ships should have been canon. You have opinions on the timeline. For my own safety, I will not get into a conversation with you about any of them.

Wonderful: I know the character work is great. I know the magical girl genre has evolved and Precure doesn't need to set itself apart from the competition when it's at the top of the heap. I know it's teaching kids important lessons. I just feel like you're a little stressed out and maybe you need a vacation.

Yes: You have spent far too long suffering children accusing you of being problematic and probably heterosexual, when I know you just love the stupid antics these girls get up to when every one of them thinks they're the only sensible person in the room and they are dead wrong.

Suite: You would also like the opportunity to punch your depression until it goes away, and I do not blame you.

Kirakira: Either you came here for Akiyuka or you watched all of Yumeiro Patissiere and probably mainline the Food Network.

Delicious-Party: Do you exist? I have never met someone who said their favourite season was Delicious-Party. Are you all congregating in the Tokusatsu Quarry? I can't generalize about people I'm not sure are even there to make jokes about.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Credit: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/67875227#big_0

Guess I have to do all of them now.

//And I will walk through it as you ramble.

Shuichi is Ritsuka Fugimaru, male protagonist of Fgo. There's also an alternative of him of course being Sherlock Holmes. Not sure why he's the simple harem protagonist but ok. Sherlock is obvious tho.

//I mean, all of the protags have incredible harem energy, Makoto especially, but Shuichi too. It's not THAT weird to me.

Kaede is Nero Claudius (damn this would put her at really bad terms with Mahiru Boudica then). Not sure why Genderbent Nero Claudius is Kaede but I guess they are both busty blonde happy proud girls that are not actually so happy and proud deep down. Tho, I need to point out this is actually super ironic cuz Nero Claudius was historically tone deaf.

//That's funny.

Kokichi is James Moriarty, the Napoleon of Crime. This fits so well. Both of them are basically asshole yet charismatic crimelords/troublemakers and are usually the cause of everyone's problems behind the scenes. Also, going with the alternative one for Shuichi as Holmes, this fits well cuz Moriarty and Holmes are actually canon rivals. Tho double suicide is obviously off the chart.

//Yeah, that fits a little too well actually.

Ryoma is Emiya Alter. Edgelord badasses with a death wish and a dark sense of justice and always suffer cuz of it. Fits the bill.

//Makes sense.

Kurumi is Emiya. Idk why at all. The non-alter version of Ryoma's. Hero of Justice who ended up hating his own dream cuz it made him constantly kill and kill and kill as the world's personal hitman. Made him question what it means to be a Hero. How the fuck does this fit Kurumi? And how does this parallel with Ryoma by Kurumi's side over there?

//That is strange to make KIRUMI of all characters Emiya. Isn't Emiya like, a big deal in this franchise? Surely that role should go to one of the protags.

Miu is Leonardo Da Vinci. Proud beauty super eccentric inventors. Makes perfect sense.

//Miu gives off big "DA VINKY!?" energy.

Gonta is Asterius/The Minotaur. Big animalistic muscular wild men with actual soft hearts and lovable personalities. Fits the bill.

//He looks cute too.

Tsumugi is Cleopatra (oh damn this would mean Twogami Julius Caesar and her are a thing). This is solely due to the meme of them looking like each other. Tsumugi is not that fabulous and proud beauty of herself. No way Tsumugi can weaponize her own beauty sparkles and glittering to make explosions.

//I disagree with this in the case of Survivor. Zetsubou Tsumugi is SO damn full of herself, it's painful. And while I wouldn't call it "weaponizing her own beauty," Tsumugi's own powers ARE related to her appearance too.

Keebo is Charles Babbage. Two robot men. Nuff said. Tho I need to ask how well Keebo is at programming compared to the actual Father of Computer Programming.

//I misread that as Charles Cabbage. Also, to answer this, the whole point of Keebo is that he's an advanced AI and fully functioning robot that's beyond the technological advancements of the state that V3's world is in. But him not being able to do anything like shoot lasers, fly around, and do super cool comic robot stuff; therefore leaving everyone disappointed despite how actually incredible he is as a creation, is the joke.

Kaito is Thomas Edison (damn this must mean Kazuichi and Kaito argue a lot). Idk why. What does Kaito have in common with a guy who invented the common lightbulb (he actually submitted it first. Someone in Russia invented the same exact lightbulb type at the same exact time as Edison but he turned in his papers the day later compared to Edison who rushed immediately to the offices) and, do not ask me why, fused with every American President from past, present, and future and with the Warner brothers Lion to be a Super President? Kaito got the short end of the draw.

//Miu said that Thomas Edison said genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and Kaito sure does perspire a lot.

Maki is Jack the Ripper. Loli Jack the Ripper. One of the possible Jack the Ripper's. Not really Jack the Ripper, is actually the spiritual incarnation/accumulation of all of the dead orphans/aborted children left for dead by the millions of prostitutes in London at the time. Maki is a damn good assassin and does have a strong love/hate relationship with kids, especially orphans, but this is a bit much.

//I mean, Maki being Jack The Ripper is what I expected, if we're likening her to any historical figure, but THIS iteration? The spirit of orphans stuff makes sense, but Jesussss!?

Tenko is Ushiwakamaru/Yoshitsune. Idk about this. Both of them may be dark hair sporty types but Tenko is definitely no military general and badass master swordsman (genderbent now) known for jumping across 8 ships in a row cutting everyone down. Doesn't seem to fit the bill here.

//Makes more sense than something like L'ouvature or whatever?

Himiko is Abigail Williams. Why the fuck would Himiko be the girl who essentially started the Salem Witch Trials by blaming everyone? Himiko would been murdered on the spot if she met historical Abigail. Sure, Fgo's version of Abigail is an absolutely precious little girl who'd you so want to protect as your daughter but also has very dark personality switch cuz she's actually connected to the actual Lovecraftian Elder God Yog Sothoth, but I need more than both of them being magical witch aesthetic little girls.

//There were many speculations going around after the end of the witch trials that Abigail Williams herself was a witch all along. So Himiko COULD fit into her shoes if she was a much nastier character.

Rantaro is motherfucking Merlin. No offense but Rantaro is not deserving of the meme king dick wizard who broke the meta more than any top tier waifu. I could explain why he's nicknamed the Dick Wizard but that's a hilarious other story.

//Yes he is. Yes. He. Is.

Korekiyo is Phantom of the Opera. Sociopath Serial Killers with obsessive behaviours towards a certain girl in their lives. Makes sense.

//Makes TOO MUCH sense.

And Angie is Xuanzang. This calls into question whether Angie has a pet horse, monkey, pig, and whatever animal that "sand demon" with a (trident?) spear was. (I'm Asian American and idolized Journey to the West and even I don't know). Regardless, both are super religious and I guess get into trouble all the damn time. I can kinda see it but it could be better.

//Yeah, kind of like what I said with Tenko. It doesn't make complete sense, but it makes more sense than most stuff.

-Mod

[fearlesstigerquotev]

Masterlist

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Introduction

Welcome to my Tumblr! My name is Tiger and I’m a hobbyist author and Quotev Refugee. Currently, I’m using Tumblr as a backup for all my oneshot works on Quotev, as well as the occasional meme. In the future, I’d like to post more oneshots on here as well <3 Currently moving all my full stories to AO3, I have linked the account in my bio, and will link all stories as well on here.

I mainly write yandere x reader stories, dabbling in horror, thriller, and romance. Some of my stories contain smut and dubious themes. As is the case with such types of stories, please refer to the tags and trigger warnings beforehand! Read at your own discretion. Minors do not interact with me concerning R18 stories.

Asks about my thoughts on topics, stories, headcanons etc. are allowed but I do not take oneshot/story requests.

With those disclaimers out of the way, I wish you happy reading!

Please note that this is still a WIP, only stories marked with (X) are available to read currently on Tumblr and/or AO3! For works without links, please check out my Quotev page.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

New Works Post-Quotev Apocalypse

Coming soon!

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Oneshots imported from Quotev

Yandere M!Pied Piper Halloween Oneshot (X)

To see townsfolk suffer so From vermin, was a pity. — From The Pied Piper of Hamelin: A Child's Story by Robert Browning

Winterkälte Halloween Oneshot (X)

Winterkälte: A strung-together German word that roughly translates to "winter coldness." It is a childhood folk story from Switzerland, but as far as I'm aware, there is no official name for this tale. Depending from canton to canton, many variations exist. But all of them share the following structure: A boy, his father, and their dog hike up a mountain. A blizzard causes them to take refuge in an alpine hut, where they are confronted with the personification of Death. This story is told to children in order to warn them against staying out too late, especially in the cold winter months.

Itto the Irresistible Beetle Battler (X)

Itto X F!Reader | You and your Oni boyfriend have a beetle-fight competition. Short, sweet, fluffy.

A Friendship Tested

Heizou X F!Reader | A oneshot where you are a thief and Heizou chases you through Inazuma.

My Queen

Itto X F!Reader [Royalty AU] | A short oneshot where Scaramouche is a prince, and you are his bodyguard. Even though he doesn't need one.

Study Buddies

Kaveh X F!Reader X Alhaitham [R15] | A oneshot + crackfic where you are an underclassman at the Sumeru Akademiya, and ask Alhaitham and Kaveh to tutor you before an exam. But you're a simp, and both of them have different styles of teaching.

A Wholesome Genius Invocation TCG Session

Tighnari X F!Reader [Platonic relationship] | You and your friend/mentor play an exciting round of Genius Invocation TCG. Short, sweet, fluffy.

[Reminder: Add all The Royal Tutor Oneshots]

Full stories [links to AO3]

Dies Irae — Days of Wrath [R18] | Various!M!F!Yandere Reverse Harem x F!Reader (X)

After nearly half a decade of war and turmoil, Princess (Name) hears the sound of war trumpets playing: Her empire has won the war. Being the sole heir to the throne, she is quick to rejoice and immediately rushes to provide an official statement. Fate, however, has other plans for her. When her own soldiers storm the castle and usurp the sovereign, she is faced with a nasty truth: Her childhood best friend has joined the enemy side. The kingdom has won the war, but at what price? As she navigates the treacherous web of politics, societal pressures, and negotiations, Princess (Name) finds herself forming unexpected and complex alliances with a group of captivating individuals, each with their own secrets and desires. She must not make a single misstep, lest she wants her head rolling on the ground.

Playing with Fire | Yandere Diluc x F!Reader [Royalty!AU!] (X)

After countless years of war and turmoil, Natlan has fallen. Too bad you were the War Maiden of Natlan during the conflict. In order to salvage the remnants of your country, you agree to a peace treaty brokered by the rulers of Snezhnaya and Liyue—An arranged marriage. But instead of marrying Mondstadt's sovereign, you find out you're betrothed to Duke Diluc, an esteemed nobleman from the Ragnvindr clan. He claims to be acting in your best interests, but something tells you that he cannot be trusted. And when secrets of both your pasts come to light, you find yourself struggling to maintain Teyvat‘s political stability. One wrong word could lead to your demise, a fate you must avoid at all costs.

Bad Liar | Diluc x F!Reader (Known as Malefactor on AO3) (X)

In which you, a Fatui member who is fiercely loyal to the Tsarista, is tasked with stealing the Anemo Gnosis. But Diluc, the Uncrowned King of Mondstadt, is dead-set on making your mission a living nightmare... In more ways than you could possibly imagine.

Snake Eyes | Yandere M!Naga x F!Reader

Upon the request of your former professor, you travel to India to aid his research team on their quest to find the Ivory Serpent. However, due to unprecedented circumstances, things go awry right from the start, including the disappearance of your close colleague. Paying no heed to the warnings of your team members, you head off into the mangroves in search of her, ignorant of the ancient curse the land is bound to. Before you know it, you find yourself caught in the coils of an ancient deity of the mangroves. It will take more than mere prayers to wriggle yourself free.

Infiltrator | Yandere M!Harem x M!Reader [Cyberpunk Isekai]

After a gruesome murder makes headlines, a rookie journalist finds himself chasing the scoop of a lifetime. But he soon finds out that the Underworld doesn’t give out secrets so easily, vying for control over the story only he can tell. In a world where information is the highest currency, he's the richest prize. And the crime lords he's entangled with hate sharing.

Bibliophilia | M!Yandere x GN!Reader

Getting locked inside Sanfatio Library by accident was the last thing Y/N expected. Their only option is to enter a strange stone door leading to a whimsical alternative version of the otherwise quiet and quaint library. However, they soon realize they aren't alone. Something sinister is lurking between the bookshelves, stalking their every move. The once docile and humble Y/N is forced into a race against time with only a little red book to guide them. And if they don't find the exit in time, they risk being trapped inside this demented reality forever.

[darkwingphoenix]

More @loominggaia Memed Goods!

Maia to Lumine

Columbina when all of her siblings have an SO, but she has food

All of the High Rulers' Families Dealing With Their Trauma

Columbina and Sara totally not having extreme sexual tension

Sirene when Saheli's older

Cyana to Suitors

Columbina when she's broke (She's willing to do this)

Capitano when someone makes fun of Sandrone

Sandrone teaching Capitano Proper Kelvingyard Greetings (She wants him to fight people so she can see him sweating)

Signora and Columbina when they play thumb war

Columbina having 16 different crushes (I'mma prolly gonna give her a harem because fuck it, harem subplot)

Capitano when Bozzag dislikes his attitude

Bozzag when Sandrone makes waffles

Columbina sometimes

Amber to Columbina (She's gonna force Columbina to sleep using her sirene song)

Signora to Columbina (Columbina's drunk asf)

Sandrone, Amber, and Columbina doing music and crafts (Maia's spinning to the music, Amber's on the guitar)

Signora, Lumine, Columbina, Amber, Scylli (That one intersexed cecaelia with a village full of his kids), Jeimos, Zacry, and Saraia being nonbinary/transgender goofballs (Lumine, Signora, and Saraia are all trans females, Columbina's bigender with she/they pronouns, Jeimos is canonically nonbinary, Scylli is intersexed, Zacry's a robot, and Amber is also nonbinary but doesn't mind she/her pronouns)

Maia in her boyfriend's window (She's a desperate slut)

Skylie leading a biker cavalry unit of Damiscend's Army (Hard cut into her fighting the Terragladius)

If Amber had legs: Her dancing in the World Athenaeum

A monster Saraia made for spies (Ain't perfect, she's used to making murder machines)

Bozzag vs Amber when she's 14 vs when she's 24 (Same time as the recent fanart of her to me now)(She got a Glock from Skylie)

The Evangeline High Royal Cousins on a Boat (Amber is the girl on the rock in the water, Clarity's the one face down)

Skylie vs Saraia taking care of Amber

Angeline tryna flirt with Cyana

Mr. Ocean and Solveig bothering Isaac from beyond the grave (Like half of my ideas are from random ass memes or ideas I get from lore/asks/stuff I google)

Amber doing a pizza delivery job to get some job experience (The pink haired girl is some random lady, and Amber just walked off and ate the fucking pizza)

After Cyana took the gender-bending potion Skylie gave her so she and Angeline could try to conceive Alani naturally (Cyana grew a girlcock, which is now glowing obnoxiously and singing)

[carangel]

LISTEN

This is so damn specific I find it hard to even IMAGINE it in an X reader because when u play with reader aus we all know they’re basically ocs

And I don’t play with the whole X reader in the tags and it’s actually an oc

BUT IMAGINE AN ANTIHAREM:

Where it’s the basic, you’re the ‘friend’ who gets invited in and everyone dogs on u cause little miss liar can’t stop making herself look good.

Like geez narc much

But I want to expand more on the aspects of souls, soulmates and aus

Listen, I’m a firm believer in the whole ‘soulmate = compatibility not destiny’

and somehow this woman matches the soul frequency of ALL the boys

But like LISTEN, y’all ever like been listening to music and like, you’re imagining AMV’s and animation memes for your oc??

I’d like to think here, soul frequencies are just instrumentals, or at least one HALF is

Example: I HEAR A SYMPHONY

One soul is the lyrics, one soul is the instruments

Or yk, instrumental that flows well together

Like, they come together to make a full SONG

EITHER WAY

Ik I’m getting a lil ahead of myself but stay with me even tho I’m realizing how delulu this all sounds

Some how this miss is copying every, single, one

It’s almost as if she already knew the song and knew what to copy

But you can’t do that right? Your soul frequency is your own, right???

But like, what if there was some multidimensional changeling shit going on and she like-

Idk man

Locked away all the au versions of the reader/oc to copy the songs and she switches up when needed

Cause if yk MLP shit yk how changelings copy

And if I was a changeling, having a whole harem that loves and spoils me without question 👀

Seems like a buffet to me

You might be wondering

Cara, Carangel, Ciao (if ykyk)

How would you even set this up? How would the changebitch capture all the alternate yous/mes?

What about the main reader/oc? Wouldn’t they put a wrench in the plans??

Idk

Maybe they figured out in another au and traveled to one where you hadn’t met the boys yet

Unknowing that you were in existence but when they did changebitch was like

Oh if I make them hate her they’ll never know

Idk man

I’m just here for the climax

Where it’s revealed that the ladi is a FRAUD

And I’m not opposed to murder as a punishment

And yk, maybe after the au counterparts are released everyone goes back to their au.

I DO KNOW

End goal would be swap x swap!reader/oc, tale x tale!reader/oc

Ect

[merv606]

Daniel should just have a sleepover with Ali,kumiko and Jessica while they all gossip about terry and how he want daniel so bad

Full on daniel being like:if he actually wanted me he would have got on his knees and apologize and Jessica is like:exactly because why is he coming back 35 years later with no damn flowers or a bonsai 😒🤚the audacity

And then you just hear Ali and Kumiko agreeing because those girls love supporting Daniel and full on understanding him and they all agree that all his rivals want him and

they also listen to him about what he found out about mr miyagi and support him in such a gentle way and everything else that been going on with Johnny and Tory and they full on agree with him especially Ali

And they braid little strands of his hair Let this man have friends

those 4 are actually all bffs and they have a whole group chat together and they just be gossiping or sending each other memes or just be ranting to each other and hyping each other up because that the friendship Daniel deserves

Funny how Daniel seems to have a harem of both men and women lol