#hard life to life but somebody had to do it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
AND! Tim/Not Kon! Carefully navigating a relationship with someone you created to replace your dead best friend, but fell in love with as themself!
“I think you made me kind of a slut, man,” Hunter muses, which would probably not have made Tim choke quite so hard if Hunter hadn’t been speculatively dragging his eyes up his body while he said it.
The part where the other’s draped over the nearest weight bench in this Titans Tower training room and wearing literally nothing but running shorts and sneakers isn’t helping either.
Also Hunter definitely needs a haircut because his hair grew down past his shoulders in development and he didn’t want to cut it after, but Tim is just not emotionally capable of dealing with the barely-restrained curly ponytails and half-ponytails and man-buns he’s been wearing. Just–not even slightly, no. Not even a little bit.
“You are literally a virgin,” Tim says inanely, trying very hard not to drop either his bo or his literal entire brain on the mats. “I–what? What?”
Hunter shrugs; rolls onto his back on top of the bench. It leaves him bent backwards over it, back arched and head upside-down as he skims a hand up his bare stomach. Hunter is, somehow, even more tactile and hedonistic than Kon ever was, which Tim is very suddenly being reminded of.
He debates the merits of panicking. Or maybe, like, running for his life.
“I said, I think you made me kind of a slut, man,” Hunter repeats, like that’s the part that Tim was trying not to drop his brain over. “Like, either libido-wise or uploads-wise, I dunno.”
“Wh–I didn’t put anything like–I didn’t–” Tim half-sputters, and the crushing depression that’s taken over most of his life since everyone died on him and Bruce disappeared and Dick gave Robin to Damian is possibly actually just too baffled to be crushing him right now. Hunter gives him a lazy, half-lidded look, tipping his head back a little farther on his neck. His throat is . . . his throat is very, very exposed. And thick. And long and strong and stubbled and–
Nrgnk, Tim thinks, very faintly.
He did not ever look at Kon’s throat and think things like that.
He is definitely, definitely thinking those things about Hunter’s, though.
“Oh my god, you fuckin’ sad-ass wet canary, I don’t mean I think you did it on purpose,” Hunter snorts in exasperation, rolling his eyes like Tim’s an idiot or something. Tim is not an idiot. Tim is actually, like, reasonably intelligent and–he made Hunter. That required being pretty damn smart, actually! Really damn smart, actually!
. . . and also unfathomably, unfathomably stupid, admittedly.
“Then what do you mean?” he asks warily, because Hunter is about a month and a half “old”, except also more like nineteen, and has already decided that he does not give a single telekinetically-flying fuck about things like social graces or social filters and it’s frankly a miracle that nobody’s killed him for that yet. Or, uh. Tim. Or killed Tim for that.
Cassie definitely thought about it, he knows.
Seriously, though, just–as bad as Kon ever was about anything, Hunter has definitely actively decided to be worse. Which is admittedly a very “Kon” kind of decision to make, except also just . . . absolutely nothing like Kon, at the same time. Hunter literally does not even care that Superman exists, for one thing, and has about as much interest in wearing the “S” as Lex Luthor does, but also does not care Luthor exists either. Like–impressively does not care about either of their existences, in fact.
Tim might have, uh, overcompensated a little while trying to make sure the “Kon” he was making wouldn’t have as many issues about his gene donors as the real one had, but also Hunter might just be that goddamn contrary. It’s unclear, at this point.
“Oh, like I keep thinking about fucking climbing somebody,” Hunter says. “Like, literally? I’m pretty sure I could do it literally. You know, could float a bit if I had to, whatever.”
“I mean, you’re very, uh–tactile,” Tim attempts awkwardly, really not knowing how to approach this conversation. “And still only have about five minutes of experience with actual human contact, but also teenage hormones? So wanting to, uh–be tactile with a lot of people isn’t necessarily, you know . . . uh.”
“I meant I wanna climb somebody specific, Wet Canary,” Hunter corrects dryly, rolling his eyes again. “Not like, literally everyone I know. Well–okay, also Starfire and Nightwing. But like, Starfire and Nightwing, so can you blame me?”
“I plead the fifth,” Tim says, since that is his sort-of-brother and his sort-of-brother’s situationship that Hunter is talking about right now and he just . . . he just needs the plausible deniability there at least, okay? And also does not have the time to have a sexuality crisis right now either. Like, that’s just not going to fit in his schedule, despite all Hunter’s–Hunter-ness being a thing.
“Maybe also Red Hood,” Hunter muses speculatively, drumming his fingers on his stomach. Tim . . . does not know how he feels about that. At all. Either the fact that Hunter is talking like he’s actually attracted to guys, or the fact that one of the guys he apparently finds attractive is Jason.
“You know he literally beat me half to death once, right?” he reminds him. Hunter smirks at him.
“Yeah, and I bet he looked hot as fuck doing it,” he says.
“. . . . . . I plead the fifth,” Tim mutters. Hunter drops his head back even further on his neck and cackles. Tim does not think anything about his throat. Like–definitely he does not.
“Also I would definitely sit in your Bat-daddy’s lap, if you guys ever figure out if he’s dead or not,” Hunter decides, nodding to himself as he says it.
Tim falls off the mats. Or like–the floor, maybe? Like–that’s just what happens, yeah. Hunter laughs at him again.
“I hate you,” Tim mutters extremely feelingly, attempting to just . . . just attempting, maybe. Literally he does not even know what he’s “attempting”, except maybe to not to have a heart attack at eighteen and a half.
“Aw, too bad, ‘cuz you literally made me so therefore you did this to yourself,” Hunter replies with a broad grin. Tim definitely hates him. “Maybe you should work on all that self-punishing shit, man, you coulda made a way nicer guy than me.”
“I was trying to make Kon, that really would not have happened,” Tim retorts dryly, and then wonders when exactly his dark humor got this dark. Well–logically, it would’ve been somewhere around all the dead people and all, he guesses, but still.
“Really, because literally no one has described that dude to me as anything but, like, a socially-awkward marshmallow who was just constantly fronting whatever overbearing ‘please like me’ behavior he thought would work,” Hunter says, giving him a wry look. “Literally. Literally no one. I think the dog thinks he was a marshmallow, in fact.”
“Right, and you’re so hardcore and edgy over there,” Tim says, eyeing him briefly.
“I mean I’m capable of, like, things like saying ‘no’ to people who aren’t active supervillains actively trying to murder somebody not me,” Hunter replies reasonably. “So I’d like to think I’m at least, like, nougat or something. Maybe a caramel.”
“You are not even Nutella, Hunter,” Tim says, and Hunter laughs again and then rolls back over and shifts up to straddle the weight bench, his thighs very . . . thighs about it. Tim tries not to be a weird little freak about said thighs, but in no way is he not a weird little freak about said thighs.
Jesus, why are they so thighs.
Hunter leans forward, bracing his hands on the end of the weight bench. Tim pretends to be oblivious to the existence of the other’s pecs and that big broad grin he’s back to wearing. It’s not like he’s not used to seeing totally different people wearing that face, between Kon and Match and literal Superman, and also like . . . Superboy Prime, fuck that guy forever, but Hunter still manages to look just a little bit more different than that, somehow.
Tim literally does not even understand his own brain sometimes. Or at all, maybe.
“I just keep thinking about doing the climbing, is all,” Hunter says. Tim forces his incomprehensible excuse for a brain back on track. “Like, the specific climbing of a specific somebody, mostly, but still a lot of climbing in general. And also how to convince said somebody to teach me how to have sex, like, in a way that is not the high school-level sex ed course somebody uploaded into my brain. Though like, that’s also a thing I keep thinking about.”
“That doesn’t sound like you’re a slut, that sounds like you have a crush on someone,” Tim says, a little perplexed. “Or, uh, a psychosexual obsession with. But let’s hope for ‘crush’.”
“Oh,” Hunter says, looking pretty perplexed himself. “Huh.”
“The part where you’re perving on Nightwing, Red Hood, and Batman might be a little much, though,” Tim says dryly, mostly to move the conversation along before Hunter says anything that–
“Well, yeah,” Hunter replies with a shrug, leaning forward a little heavier on his hands. “”Cuz they’ve all got that same Bat-vibe somebody’s got.”
“. . . what,” Tim says.
“I really did not think I was being subtle here, dude,” Hunter says, raising an eyebrow at him. “Like, at any point.”
“I literally made you,” Tim says, staring at him in disbelief.
“Yeah, do you wanna maybe try some daddy kink and see how that goes?” Hunter asks, cocking his head with a thoughtful expression. “I feel like maybe we could do something with that.”
“Asdfghjk,” Tim says, and falls off the floor again.
“Like, no pressure, just asking,” Hunter says with another shrug.
Okay, Tim thinks. Maybe Hunter’s right, and he did kind of make him kind of a slut, one way or the other. Like–maybe. Possibly.
And maybe Hunter is also right about him having done this to himself, considering.
#tim drake#dc robin#kiragecko#this one did not turn out particularly kinky unless you think like the myth of pygmalion is kinky#. . . which uh to be fair it kinda is#so!!#subtextually kinky maybe!#also in case tumblr tries to hide it: yes there is a cut in this post
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
completely caught off guard, garam let out a soft yelp when angel had picked him up to hold him in his arms instead of on his back. he was quick to wrap one arm behind the man's shoulders while the other hand held on tightly to the opposing shoulder to ensure he wouldn't fall even if angel lost his grip. his brows furrowed, just staring at angel. he was so strong. another thing garam couldn't recall his now ex-boyfriend doing; carrying him, regardless of position. it was always something his friends did. when asked, his ex would tell garam his legs still worked so he could walk himself wherever they were going. he was starting to really question what he ever saw in the other man, he was probably the least romantic partner garam had ever had. if he was going to be completely honest, angel was far more romantic towards garam than his ex was. that fact made his expression soften, a small smile growing. "i'm not that skinny," he said softly, pulling his hand up to the curve of angel's neck. his weight was never something he worried about before because he ate relatively healthily but he had noticed he lost weight recently which he could now blame on his relationship. after being dropped down onto angel's bed, he let go of the blanket and shifted so his head was on one of the pillows. when he was asked about his preferences, his expression fell once again. it wasn't because he didn't want to talk about it, he just wasn't expecting angel to want to know. he was quiet, not because he didn't want to talk about it but because he was silently questioning why angel wanted to know. was it because he was worried? that was the only reason that made sense. the only other thing he could think of was angel was asking because he wanted to have sex with garam but that didn't seem plausible at all. he was sure that angel would have made some sort of attempt to flirt with him, hit on him, something to let garam know he wanted something more from him. but angel didn't do that, at least garam didn't catch on if angel had made some sort of move. garam exhaled heavily as he threw his arms up over his head, unintentionally making his shirt rise, revealing his lower stomach and the bruises his ex left on him. "sometimes it's okay." he replied, staring up at the ceiling. "i really didn't like it at first but..." he paused, making an attempt to shrug his shoulders, but the gesture was a bit difficult to do with his hands above his head. "i got used to it." he added in, glancing over to angel with just his eyes but he was quick to return his gaze up to the ceiling. "there were some things that i liked but not when it happened all the time. i think i like it better when somebody is more gentle with me. like, they're afraid if they push too hard, i'll break." maybe break wasn't the most accurate term to use, it was more like he didn't want somebody who wanted to hurt him. "i think i want softer passion. not so fast, not so hard... but i still want to feel his emotions when we're together... if that—" his full attention turned to angel, "does that make sense? i want to feel like i'm the only person in his life that matters, i want to be able to see his love for me when i look at him... i want to feel like i'm more than just a piece of ass, you know? i think that's what i want." he couldn't even say for sure, it was just that soft and passionate were the complete opposite of what his ex showed him whenever they were intimate. their intimacy lacked all intimacy. the man focused on what would feel good for him instead of garam, he never felt love when they were together. it felt like it was purely physical between them. but maybe explaining as much as he had was a bit of an overshare. even if angel asked, garam didn't have to go into the kind of detail he did. "you don't have to worry, i'm not going to let somebody treat me like that again. and i'll make sure whoever i eventually get involves with has your stamp of approval, you seem to know who isn't good for me better than i do..."
Garam’s nod as confirmation was all Angel needed. He stood quietly as he watched his best friend grab his phone. The taller man watched the other’s facial expressions closely before realizing the alcohol was beginning to affect him. A shiver rippled through his spine seeing Garam’s ex crying face on the screen. His lips were pulled tight as his eyes shot down. Angel thought seeing the man crying would bring him joy. He was getting back just a fraction of what he put them through. But it only made his stomach turn. His skin felt itchy and gross. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “Let him suffer” he managed out glancing back up only to catch Garam texting his ex. Angel raised an eyebrow as Garam giggled which must have been contagious. The raven-haired man smiled offering a small giggle back. It was great to hear his friend laugh again. The screen was flashed to him once again. This time he didn’t look away. Scanning the text Angel let out a sharp breath. That text wouldn’t go over well but Angel couldn’t worry about that right then. “Take me to bed” Such a small sentence stopped Angel in his tracks. It wasn’t like the man hadn’t said it before. Angel had gotten used to carrying drunk Garam through the streets to either of their apartments. It was the way the man looked at him for a moment. His arms stretched out ready to be lifted. It took the man a minute to compose himself. Finding the whole scene rather adorable. “You are such a child” he teased to break the silence as he scooped his best friend up into his arms bridal style. “Easier to carry you this way…while you are staying here we are going to get some food in your system. You have never been this light” Angel commented as he guided them to his bedroom. As they made their way through his apartment he couldn’t help but think about Garam’s past relationships. They seemed to get worse with each one. Angel always kept his feelings silent. Watching each relationship pass by. It killed him his best friend hid so much of what was going on. Angel never judged him or so he didn’t think he did. But for sex to be that violent and their argument to lead to this. Angel couldn’t wrap his head around his best friend enjoying that. The grip he had on Garam tightened as they entered the bedroom. He was starting to feel the effects of their drinks but kept his composure. His focus was on making sure the man in his arms was okay. Angel stumbled lightly managing to get his best friend to the bed with a slight thump. He chuckled tucking his curls behind his ears as he sat on the edge of the bed. The question he wanted to ask hanging on the edge of his tongue. Even drunk he didn’t think this was the best time. But he knew he wouldn’t have the nerve to ask any other way. Besides the other was drunk as well. It made it easier somehow. “Garam?” Angel would never ask questions like this sober. He didn’t pry in such ways. He knew his best friend was private. The same way he was. “Do you really enjoy rough sex like that?” His words were slow, almost careful. To ensure he was saying the right thing. His eyes avoided his best friend. Angel looked down at his hands which he had been biting at out of habit as he waited for his answer. His feelings for Garam were festering inside him. In his drunken state, he was thinking he could never live up to that. He couldn’t see himself hurting Garam in any way. As he sat there the guilt of the question started to sink in. “Y-you don’t have to answer that. Sorry…these damn drinks” he muttered picking his head up and flashing one of his smiles.
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Lewis Hamilton going to Ferrari will do to a mfer
#at least the sf24 is sexy#hopefully next years is too 🥹🥹 for Lewis's sake 🥹🥹🥹#gaslighting myself into believing that he is what Ferrari is missing and that he will win another wdc with them#it would be so cunty of him#anyway#putting all of my emotions into car racing drama to keep myself from going insane over my own fucked up life#its not working#im just going insane over european nepo babies and then going insane over stem major things immediately after#hard life to life but somebody had to do it#evyn's top 5 tracks#((including this bc I know I will be posting these weekly from now on#......soz........but not really))
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello! i really like your fics 🥵
i just saw him in latex gloves and it made my mind go crazy.. like… imagine gynaecologist!Baekhyun, examining the reader with his slender fingers ahh it’d be pure heaven 😇
(sorry if it’s weird, i hate my mind too)
hahahaha thank u for loving my fics, babie! <3 :') omg YES the latex gloves and the doctor coat had me 😵💫😵💫😵💫 wow i kinda need to write gynecologist!baekhyun asap
#💌#anonie#like imagine ur going to ur gyno for ur triennial pap smear/pelvic exam & he walks in introducing himself#and ur like “um. no. ur not my doctor. where's dr. so-and-so”#and then he'd tell u that ur usual dr. is out on maternity leave and he's filling in for her#and ur like “ok no offense but can i get somebody else to do it”#and then he'd be like “wow this is actually the first time in my life where a woman is rejecting me”#and then he'd look towards the paper towel dispenser to see his reflection in it wondering if he's got something on his face or something#and then you'd groan and be like “never mind it's fine lets just get this over with”#and then he'd do his thang and ur trying so fuckn hard not to react inappropriately cus frankly you dont wanna get sued lmfao#and then he'd finish his exam and leave and then you go out with ur girly pops later on that night and then get stupid drunk#and ur telling them ur experience w baekhyun#and then u go to the bar for another drink and a man stands beside u and goes “whatre you drinking?”#and u dont even bother to look over at him#already rolling ur eyes to urself cus this happens at least once every time u go out cus ur hot DUH?#then he picks up on ur energy and goes “come on ur gonna reject me twice in one day?”#and then u snap ur neck towards him and go wide eyed#cus the man standing right next to you is looking at you w a knowing smirk bc he literally had his fingers in u just a few hours ago#dr. byun save meeeeeeee
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..
#like oof where do i even begin#for one... would recommend looking up what pedestalling is so u can catch urself when ur doing it.#and. hm. honestly even working on self worth n whatnot i think rly internalizing not 2 pedestal ppl cuts out a lot of self sabotage#like hello ppl in ur life r there bc they choose to be. you are worth it to them and they are showing u that w action.#u gotta be vulnerable.. u gotta trust in other ppl.. cautious optimism is fine but 😮💨😮💨#i hate when ppl assume what im thinking and feeling and act upon that. assumptions on assumptions.#my mom was like that in a mean spirited vindictive way. my ex would spiral if i took too long to respond stressed as hell#thinking that i had all these horrible thoughts about her or that i was just using her like holy shit I'm just sitting here drawing ajsjka#i am trying to make friends. i am recovering from my own personal circumstances and trying to figure myself out etc.#was also actively working on finding myself as a trans woman bc it was so early in my transition.#idk. like damn ppl have Lives‚ hobbies‚ other ppl they talk to‚ they take time for themselves.#if u don't know and ur stressed about it‚ ask..? but then believe ppl when they answer idk.#sorry.. I've annoyed myself lmao. it was wild... things were dead simple on my end but she came up w hella things she swore HAD to have bee#true and after breaking up w her she kept DMing me w long ass self deprecating vents and mischaracterisations#i had to block her after a while like 😐 u ever see somebody go to therapy and get worse somehow#i cannot fw people who have low self esteem anymore but like i sympathize from a distance lol#hello from the other side of the interaction... self love/worth is hard but please try#ur mischaracterization of ppl based on assumptions is hurting them and it will alienate ppl n push them away#and then become a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.. but also take what I'm saying w a grain of salt 🤷🏾♀️#i just have my personal experiences
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
My first time watching Glass Onion it was obvious that Miles' speeches were bullshit, but I still searched for any hidden meaning there might be.
The second time is a different experience though because every time my brain starts to search for meaning, I feel like Benoit Blanc discovering that no, there is absolutely no hidden meaning.
It's bullshit it's all nothing nothing nothing! It is just how you end up talking when everyone reacts to your self-aggrandizing word vomit like it is actually wisdom.
Also, legit, when Miles gave his stupid bullshit speech about what the word 'disruptor' means to him, I shit you not I was like holy shit am I back in business school right now?!
Miles must have given speeches like that at 100 business school graduations, goddamn.
Like, the motherfuckers really do sound like this. We didn't have any billionaires come, but we had a lot of millionaire guest speakers in my classes, and they fucking talk like that.
They all think they're rugged capitalists, but they're just glass onions!
#original#glass onion#it's just. business school prepared me really well to succeed in the business world as a straight white neurotypical#able-bodied cis man with a large network of very wealthy friends and family#I really would have killed it if I wasn't a queer autistic cripple!#even the best teachers seemed incredibly unaware of the enormous privilege that they were assuming in their students when they taught#but they basically presupposed you had infinite energy and savings and a disturbingly large number of my classes were just#lectures about pushing as hard as you can no matter what#they used Starbucks as an example of an admirable case of somebody who persisted in going to 150 investor pitches before being approved#and like. how many people do you know who have enough savings to schedule plan and attend 150 investor pitches?#how many people do you know who could set up even 12 through their connections?#where are those savings coming from? where are those investor pitch meetings coming from? those aren't easy to get!!#but none of this was ever mentioned it was just awesome that the guy kept trying I guess.#I have a sneaking suspicion that if I were to have dug deeper into some of the examples we were given that a lot of those#real life businesses probably started with a big big loan from somebody's parents#I was listening to the show you're wrong about which is a really good podcast and Michael Hobbs was like#anytime you see an article glorifying someone's financial success especially at a young age you should control F for 'parents'#because chances are you will probably see the word 'parents' somewhere next to the words 'million dollar loan'#anyway college is a scam. the community aspect was incredibly cool but I don't see why we as a culture need to only be able to access that#kind of community when we are paying a scam Institution a shitload of money for Educations that aren't helpful for the majority of us#if College was free then people could actually study things that are useful or fun for them#I took most of my courses just to fill out my major too. the point wasn't to learn it was to graduate.#and then it turned out that if you're disabled in the way i am it doesn't matter if you have a college degree!#but I'm sure miles would say I just need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. and that's why I'm glad his life got exploded 😌#andi kept him around for his money - why else would he be there when no one even liked him??#he was the bankroll#one time I swear to god we just had the guy from American Psycho just a real ass Patrick Bateman#it was wild watching that movie later and being like ???? I know this guy!#outside of the actual murder scenes everything in that movie is not exaggerated in the slightest those bitches really are like that#like my parents are not 1% level rich so there'd be no giant loans but they are rich. it'd be stupid to act like i didn't benefit from that
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
-->And Roxana did, going straight for a $3 cone of ice cream! Which, to my surprise and delight, prompted Smiler to gain a special Confident moodlet about selling ice cream on an extremely hot day, “The Coolest Vendor In Town!” XD Plus a separate moodlet for selling excellent-quality food. :) And, as usual, once one Sim had bought something, all the others in the area were eager to check things out! Notable sales included:
I. A guy named Asa trying out the mushroom waffles
II. Someone named Finley also going for a cone of chocolate ice cream
III. Roxana coming back for something more filling and also trying the mushroom waffles
IV. A guy named Mitchell taking a chance on the seafood pizza
V. Someone named Desmond deciding to go for a BOWL of ice cream, because why settle for a cone
VI. Don Lothario showing up and being convinced to buy a slice of Curious Pizza because I thought it was funny
VII. And my very first Sim ever made, Geeker McTest (in this save file a minor celebrity), showing up and also grabbing a bowl of ice cream. :)
Not bad at all, huh? The day’s profits weren’t amazing – $233 for five ice creams, four waffles, one slice of seafood pizza, and one slice of Curious pizza – but the gang doesn’t need the money, they just do this so people have good things to eat that they might not be able to get in their home worlds. :) Plus it’s just fun!
-->Ah, but what were Victor and Alice doing while Smiler was getting their sale on? Well, Victor ended up helping Alice with the ribs (by standing around and chatting with her, because he couldn’t do much else), then they each had a plate (chowing down with Roxana as she enjoyed her waffles) before heading over to the chess tables to play a game! As they both had a want to do so, you see. They spent their time chatting and flirting while Smiler worked the crowd, with Alice ultimately winning the match. All that time spent in Looking-Glass Land must have really made her a chess queen! (Literally – she does indeed get a fancy crown and everything at the end of that book. XD)
-->Once the food sale was over, it was time to start taking care of everyone's needs! Smiler, who was thirsty, went over and chatted with Roxana, learning a bit more about her (“she/her” pronouns, dislikes pop music and fitness) before convincing her to let them have a drink, while Victor and Alice, meanwhile, both used the toilet (with Victor nearly getting walked in on by KATRINA! Caliente – decorum, woman!). Alice then had a brief cloudgaze while Victor went around the side of the building to privately practice Untamed Magic, getting the “Necrocall” spell (which lets you summon ghosts from their gravestones) in the process (and a cute little message from Darkwing saying “New spells are fun!” :) ). I then tried to have Alice and Victor build a sand sculpture together to wrap up the day...
Only for Victor to just stand around supervising while Alice and SMILER ended up building a sand cowplant out the front of the park. O.o Well, I guess that’s one way for them all to participate? It was starting to get a little late, though, and I didn’t want the food in Smiler’s inventory to go bad...
#sims 4#the lazy save#victor van dort#alice liddell#smiler always#this is the way of food sales I have seen#it takes a while for that first customer to show up and buy something#but once they do the floodgates open#and yeah getting that little moodlet about being the Coolest Vendor In Town really tickled me#it is nice when they add in little touches like that#and makes me very glad I put the ice cream on offer XD#and yes it very much amused me to see Don Lothario of all people show up#and then to force him to buy the Curious pizza#I worked hard on this Sims 2 reference made with alien fruit#SOMEBODY had to try it XD#also nice to see Geeker show up#my goofy little 'let's test how the game runs' Sim#who got kind of abandoned when I ditched this save file after my first experience with Sim culling#he seems to be living his best life honestly#good for him :)#and yes the KATRINA! thing is a reference to James Turner's LPs#I've watched a number of them and thus I know that joke well XD#and yeah don't know what happened with the sand sculpture there#I mean I'll TAKE it but#weird game is weird sometimes#queued
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i do think being unconditionally loved is an experience that can be so so healing actually. it cant ever fix anything alone but to feel loved and valued and considered is something that makes carrying burdens just that little bit easier. to trust that youre someone they think about when youre not around, because they tell you. to feel like youre someone important to them because they tell you. to feel safe in knowing youre not being too intense, too annoying, too much, because everything you offer is offered right back without a seconds hesitation. this isnt something i ever thought id get to have, but i found it when i wasnt even looking. and no, it still isnt easy. it doesn't change most things. but it gives you a reason to try.
#not to get sappy or anything#nyxtalks#feelings warning ahead#i don't know i guess im all up in my feelings but. just knowing someone thinks about me when im not around has been kinda life changing#it seems so silly. to put so much weight on just 'hey youre not here but i wanted to tell you this'#but i genuinely mean it when i say that i didnt think id ever have it. that i thought it was asking too much to expect people to remember#i exist when im not actively forcing my presence on them. but she makes it feel like the easiest thing in the world to do#and it makes me want to believe that i deserve that because shes one of the most wonderful people ive ever had the pleasure of knowing#and if /she/ can see that in /me/ then who am i to tell her shes wrong?#i do still worry about so much. i do still think horrible things about myself. those things dont just go away#just because of a little consideration. but i want to see the person she sees. i want to be worthy of the love she shows me#i wish i could tell the person sobbing on their bathroom floor in January about how she doesnt stop. how she manages to be everything#you could possibly want without ever even asking.#i dont want to misrepresent how hard it still is. its not changed. but i think i value myself just a fraction more now#talking to her has also helped my understand myself a lot. introspect on so many things#maybe its not the healthiest take to want to be doing better for somebody elses sake but.#is wanting to do her proud really so bad?
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
How do people do this career thing. I'm gonna cry
#I don't understand why this is happening to me#I was so sure of path in stem and now I'm so conflicted#how do you choose this thing and why is it so painful#I've had to peel myself just to glimpse at what lies beneath and I DONT UNDERSTAND#why is it so tough#why can't someone just tell me what to do#I literally have body ache thinking about this#and this is all I think about#maybe physics just isn't for me? but I've spent so much of my life in it's service#maybe I was just overcompensating so that I could convince myself that I did love physics when it was just the attention I got from my#family when I was reading that hawking book something that I've always craved. they saw me as somebody worth something finally. I wasn't#the dumb sibling anymore. I was the one with the unconventional career choice?#I was the one who wanted to study physics. the stuff of people's “nightmares”#I was in the 8th grade. How do you recover from that.#who am I?? what do I want??? outside of my family's expectations and impositions??? I've set and worked for this impossible fantasy of me#becoming an astroparticle physicist and I don't think I love it. I wouldn't give myself up for it. I wouldn't sacrifice myself or my friends#or my family for it. maybe I've just been doing well because I've had to work hard. I work harder than all of the other people in my classdo#for a pretty average position#maybe I'm wrong but what if I'm right??? what if I'm going in the wrong direction??
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lowkey hoping my application to college falls through again so i can. Perchance apply for video game school lol
#ill be honest i cannot see myself as a psw im sorry#its an extremely noble job and i do enjoy caring for people and wish i could be somebody families could trust to care for their loved ones#but the idea of doing that for the rest of my life. fucking kills me#a resident i was endeared to died this weekend and im. havibg a rough time processing#that ill never see her again or hesr her voice or see this thing she had wanted to show me#my life does feel so so so bleak and defeated tbh#i just want to do what im passionate about. but thay doesnt make money.#why is life always faltered by fucking money man#im trying so hard to be positive now but i am naught doing as great as i coukd be lol#its onky a matter of time before the dissonance runs out and i snap under the reality of what direction im goin ✊️😖
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#the thing is. i try to be positive so hard and ik in general my life is pretty good#like lately it does seem like somebody has it out for me personally#nothing drastic just. all my trains are late. i keep getting rained on. my piercing is just Not healing. things in my flat break.#and now i think i'm losing hair? probably stress related#oh and all my holidays haven't worked out#and the horrible horrible nausea i last had in 2020 is back#i just don't know how long i can keep doing this#leog
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The problem with a lot of body horror for me is it's just gross without being compelling
Like yeah you had that person tear their leg open and pull muscle away from bone in a way that's very uncomfortable... but I don't care. Or a lot of Hostel style horror for me it's just kinda... yeah... grossing me out isn't some kinda win
Cause it's not that I don't like body horror, I love Dead Space for instance which... kinda the core pillar of that is body horror if we're honest
Could be a matter of that that kind of body horror is more fantastic making it easier to digest, I will advance that as a theory, but personally I kinda think that it's more that they do something actually interesting with it
Like if I wanted to I could probably see a really fucked up leg wound (and worse) in looking online about this shitty world
Can't really find dead bodies contorted into killing machines though
So I kinda feel like it's my problem with a lot of horror, of that it's horrible in a mundane way where as I'm looking for some unfathomable secret out of horror
So there's a difference between some stabbing a person in the eye cause they're just a shitty person, and doing it to try and create a replica of an alien artifact that gives unlimited energy but also drives people crazy and then turns their bodies into horrible monstrosities
One is just way more interesting to me
#also most of that shit looked stupid and goofy and like bad cgi#like yeah you managed to make some brutal looking stuff; congratz; I don't care about that#but the actual monster stuff you did just looked silly#bleh... glad I skipped my way through out of 10 kinda horror movie (ie almost every horror movie)#the only problem with Dead Space is that I can't play it cause ammo management stresses me the fuck out#you'd think it's because it's too scary#but no; it's cause it brings out my perfectionist where I need to make every shot hit perfectly#I don't do well with scarcity; too much in my own life#which means I don't do well with horror because by necessity things are scarce cause otherwise that's just a power fantasy#but also! it's hard for me to watch stuff like that cause I get bored real easily of watching people meander#also I don't want them talking#basically what I need to find is somebody that... let's be honest; that's a cinematic artist#knows how to collect everything with good pacing; knows how to win without making it too easy#this is my curse with Dead Space; in many ways it's one of my favorite bits of horror in the world#and yet I can hardly interact with it cause of how my brain is#maybe the real Dead Space was the dysfunctions we had along t he way#but nah... too much horror is screamy backrooms; not enough is MyHouse.wad (or whatever the Doom extension is)#which... is another thing I'll never play; but I got lucky and found a video that really nailed what I needed it to#which is funny cause I don't really enjoy anything else on the guy's channel; mostly cause he covers analog horror which...#I so want to like analog horror; but I never do; it always feels so bland#all of it has sparks of brilliance but then goes way too silly with it#horror is one of my favorite genre's; which is I guess why I hate all of it so much and I'm so so so so so so so picky#legit part of my problem is there's a very real extent to which I feel like 'if it doesn't drive me literally insane; what's the point?'#like; 'if I don't have a literal break with reality and become infested by madness from another world; is it even horror?'#which I gotta be honest; if it actually happened I wouldn't enjoy that much#I want some unknowable truth... horror makes me hungry for something I can't put my finger on#like a memory long since passed#but there's stuff I do end up liking and end up thinking is effective#mm tag so i can find things later
1 note
·
View note
Text
gojo never imagined an arrange marriage with you, but now you’re all he can think about.
he thinks about you when he’s training, when he’s seated at his round table, when he’s in his bed, everywhere, every time, you’re all he can think about.
and you’re oblivious to it.
you heard the gossip everywhere you walked, about the girl gojo was pleading with his family to marry. how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, how much more elegant she was compared to you. you knew you were never his first choice, not even his fifth, but it hurt even more when everybody acknowledged it.
you stopped wearing your wedding ring, started acting like you were just another person there. luckily gojo didn’t seem to be in any hurry about making heirs, so pretending like you two were working things out didn’t even matter anymore.
you find yourself alone most of the time. your maids were kind and patient, but they had so many things to do throughout the day that you felt awful pestering them to walk around the estate with you.
eating dinners with gojo became normal, but most of your other meals were in silence, always feeling like a speck of dust in the large dining hall.
one day when you’re walking around aimlessly you stumble across the training grounds, the open space below you filled with men swinging wooden swords back and forth at each other.
it wasn’t difficult to find your husband, his white hair hard to miss in a crowd of others. he didn’t notice you watching from above, and so you stayed hidden, not knowing if the men were picky with who watched them.
he was swift and agile. everything he did was precise and with meaning. no wonder he was named the best warrior of the north.
you found this to be more entertaining than walking around the gardens for the tenth time or watching the cooks assemble the next meal, so you didn’t even notice how gojo looked up to see you, somehow slipping away without you knowing.
you were in a state of watching but not really thinking, almost jumping out of your skin when you heard his voice behind you.
“didn’t know i had an audience,”
you yelp, flinching as you look behind you to see your husband all sweaty, panting slightly as he moves his hair away from his face. you eye the stairs that led him up here, wondering how you could’ve missed that.
you laugh sheepishly, giving him an apologetic smile as you pick are your nails.
“i’m sorry,” you scratch behind your ears, feeling heat rise to your cheeks under his intense gaze. it’s unfair how pretty somebody can look, especially after training for an hour straight, “i was just walking around and i saw this.”
he waved it off, shaking his head as he leaned his sword on the wall.
“not a problem,” his eyes shine, “i just would’ve tried harder if i knew my wife was watching.”
my wife.
the words fall so smoothly from his lips you wonder how many times he’s said it before. with malice, hatred, necessity?
you smile a little bit, eyes crinkling around the edges as you look away briefly, not noticing the way gojo chased after your cheerful face.
“how’d you get up here? where are your ladies?” he asks suddenly, looking around at the fact that it was just you up here.
“my what?” you say, looking up at him through furrowed brows.
“you know,” he waves his arm around as if that would help, “you’re ladies in waiting,”
you scrunch up your nose a little bit, something he noticed you did when you were confused.
“oh, well, my maids are working right now,” you tell him, noting that he still didn’t look any less confused.
“no, not your maids, your ladies,” he tilts his head to the side, “the girls your family sent them up to help you around.”
you stare at him, unblinking.
“the girls that are your friends, the ones that help accustom you…” gojo trials off when he realizes he’s not getting anywhere with you.
you feel even more embarrassed than when he caught you watching him, hating the way you were clueless at yet another thing in this life that no one explained to you.
“the girls you hang around with?” he finally lands on, hoping this jogs your memory.
you shake your head, eyes wide as you fidget with the fabric of your dress. his eyes fall onto your finger, lingering on the fact that you’re not wearing your ring.
“who do you spend your time with throughout the day?” gojo seems even more lost than you. he’s seen you with…? well surely that one time…?
“by,” you swallow, embarrassed, “by myself. i walk around a lot.” you admit sheepishly.
“your family didn’t send…?” he answers his own question with his silence.
this entire time you’ve been alone?
he opens his mouth to speak but somebody beats him to it.
“satoru! get down here! we’re still not done!” his friends shouts from below, and you look over your shoulder to see all the men staring at the two of you.
gojo stares at you, unblinking.
“i,” he swallows but can’t find any words.
you can’t either.
he leaves you there, running down those stairs as he shouts at the other guys to resume what they were doing. that entire day he was off his balance because he kept looking up to see you there, but you weren’t.
maybe you were just walking around, like you said.
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#satoru x reader#gojo drabble#jjk x reader#jjk drabble#gojo angst#arranged!gojo
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
PSA: If you are depressed and/or suffer from a chronic illness for longer than a short amount of time,peole will grow tired of you and leave you. So you either have to fake being well or die of loneliness :)
#currently living option b and i am hanging on a fucking string#god life is so hard when you have little to no friends especially during summer holidays#at least i have a job now#like so often i find myself in the situation that i want to go out with somebody and then i remember oh i dont have anybody to do it with#i know i should be happy that i dont have these toxic people in my life anymore#but i miss having a big friend group#because actually i am an extroverted person who can be the life of the party if she wants to#but yeah i think too much and i have trust issues#thats why i cant have a boyfriend#my boyfriend that i had 2 years ago was actually really caring and tried to understand me but i felt like a burden so i pushed him away#i push everyone away even my therapist says this#late night thoughts#it is 3 am and i cant sleep#so i am writing this really long text that probably no one will ever read but thats okay#i must come off as attention seeking#but you know what i am i crave attention and affection#okay i will try to sleep now
0 notes
Text
pygmalion au // rafe cameron x reader
summary ; “ you love someone you can shape, who has no will to escape. ” artist!rafe x muse!reader.
warnings ; unsafe feelings. slight of angst. smut. kind of fantasy/magic. art glorification. attachment issues. innocent!reader. fear of losing somebody. first time. rafe being a lost boy. dubcon. pygmalion' weird story. toxic!rafe. mentions of drugs. oral (m. receiving). p in v. insecurities. praising. artist hands appreciation. minors DNI.
author's note : 3,5 k words for this. one-shot. also a lot of tummy appreciation (tysm @shawtycoreee 🫶🏿). out of the smut, i tried to write it so poetic 😭🤟🏿
— “ wrap me up, enfold me. i am small and needy. warm me up and breathe me. ” breathe me by sia.
it was alone and late at night that rafe cameron began to create you, not really knowing at the time he started his art what work you would produce. he only cut the stone with his hands. before forming your body, he fantasized about it internally, not really knowing what a woman's anatomy actually looked like. you were like a crazy dream he was trying to sort out, a fantasy he was trying to make real. he sculpted with his straight calloused and tired hands, manipulating the fragile and sensitive material with precision.
he hated doing badly, but it was what he did best. as he worked, he sank into his own fascination. you were magnificent, no, you were divine, the glorious treasure from his hands. it was scary and breathtaking. he had never done anything so beautiful, never created anything so charming. you had this firm, seductive chest, completely bare and hard, the movement of the stone making your belly round and chubby. you were carved in marble, an inanimate statue that had found favor in the eyes of his creator.
when he had finished your face,
he had been amazed but above all frightened by what his fingers had achieved. he had given shape to your lips, your nose, your mouth and your eyes. and now that you had a look, it was like you were confronting him. because now that you had pupils, you could look at him too, you could judge him too. you could be as superior as him, but also equal to his worth.
you were his most beautiful work of art, literally his ethereal and angelic muse. and above all, you made him nervous. not only were you realistic, but you were a woman, you were like one of the goddesses from greek mythology, completely naked.
it was unexpected, but he had knelt before you, before your altar, on his legs and his hands. he was so white and desperate like a lost sinner having only his god to pray and glorify in order to survive.
you had seen his lips part in a prayer, his mouth tighten in a whisper. and you had ears, certainly made of stone, but you had heard it. you had heard his wish lost in the void. yet he had nothing of a believer, you could hardly imagine this man on the benches of a church, but you were also cruelly incapable of seeing and understanding who he really was.
when he stood up, you felt his hands on your skin, the coldness of his ring, but also the awkwardness of his touch. you could tell it was the first time he touched someone intimately, because he didn't really know where to put his hands but he also didn't know how to touch you without destroying you.
rafe cameron was not a god. he could break anything he touched. and maybe that was why he was so nervous and pathetic. you belonged to him now that he had created you so he refused to lose you without even knowing you.
he had hoped that god would make you a real woman, because you were perfect, too sublime to be just a piece of stone.
he didn't need to pull himself up to reach you, he was much taller, more intimidating in terms of size. he could lift you up and control you with just one hand.
you looked so alive so why, why did he only hear one heartbeat in the room? why was he alone breathing in this cold and empty room? why did you only have life in appearance?
you could feel in his look that he was questioning, that he was troubled, that all the beauty of his blue eyes was overwhelmed. but you had also felt his face so close to yours, his breath fanning across your molded lips. he had been hesitant, but his mouth had finally found yours.
and you surprised yourself by loving the taste of his pretty lips, but above all by being able to touch it.
and it was like that kiss had been real enough of how he felt about you that god had decided to give him a chance.
you had sensed all the ivory of your body, of your muscles, becoming sublimely gorgeous, all your stone beauty becoming human and alive. as if his devotion had allowed you to be free and to exist.
when he felt your mouth melt on his, he pulled back in fear. you weren’t supposed to be real even if he wanted you to be. since when did statues come to life?
"oh fuck, what's going on here?... i think i'm going crazy...all that fucking coke…”
“you created me.” you replied, slightly hurt by his reaction because he was supposed to be happy.
"no, you're not supposed to be alive. i mean, you're art, you can't be human."
“i’m human!” you contradicted, stepping forward from your marble base.
rafe wasn't sure if it was a nightmare or a dream. but his gaze was anchored on you, he couldn't take every inch of his eyes off your body. he was magnetized by your magnificence.
you came just close enough to take his hand and place it against your chest. “don’t be cold to me. don’t leave me. what would i do without you? you can't reject me. you need me. ”
maybe that was the game changer for rafe cameron. because he had just understood that since you were his, you belonged to him, you were entirely dependent on him. you couldn't escape, and above all, you had no desire to.
he could do what he wanted, you were like a doll created to respond to the slightest of his favors without ever complacent. you were not only perfect but unimaginable.
” be on your knees for me.”
and the next second, you were staring at him waiting for another order.
"mmh...i know your body by heart. i shape all of this. but you have never seen mine. no worry, i'm going to fix that, okay? you're going to please me tonight and not make me regret 'have given you life?”
you nodded in agreement and he smiled because you were too innocent, too sweet for someone like him. he had unzipped his pants, making them fall to his legs like his boxers.
and it was the first time you saw a naked man in front of you, but it was also fair for you because you had no clothes. “let me help you…” he offered with a smirk. his thumb had rolled over your lips, creating a slight slit between them. “ you need to open that pretty mouth wider...” he added, taking advantage of your vulnerability to use you.
"you know it will only hurt if you don't relax. so don't be tense. because even if it's big, you're gonna take it, doll. not gonna be easy on you because it's your first time. show me what you can do baby, let me feel how grateful you are for your creator. "
he had pushed his tip against your lips, forcing his way into your mouth, making you open bigger to accommodate his cock in your cavity. it was new to you, and you weren't even sure if you could satisfy him because it was the first time you had done something like that, and especially used your mouth in that way.
you thought this area was used to create intimacy between people, not to do dirty things.
“baby, i really appreciate how sweet you can be, but don’t let me do all the work…” he had scoffed. and your heart skipped a beat when he shoved himself further in your mouth, so much so that you felt him hit the back of your throat, all the speed of his harshly strokes leaving you breathless.
you choked on his movements, saliva pooling and dripping between the corners of your enlarged lips. “that’s what happens when you don’t do your part of the job properly…” his tone was falsely accusatory as you couldn’t catch your breath from his pace. he had no pity, you had turned on him too much. and to fix it, he blamed you by harassing your throat with his fat cock.
"but since you leave me no choice, let me show you how to be a good girl for me..." he had plugged your nose, pinching it hard, forcing you to take him entirely, without being able to breathe. his length swallowed in and out, your tongue barely able to support his weight which grew as he bullied your lips.
you belonged to him so he didn’t care if he ruined you a little. he told himself that he would repair you.
he released your nose when he felt you were about to pass, with a sadistic giggle. your eyes were wet with tears. “oh baby, don’t give me that look, you’re wasting your time, i don’t feel pity. ”
you continued to pump him until your jaw arched tighten and become more tense. he pulled out for a moment, spitting in your tongue, before using your throat again. his grunts were frantic and rapid, hot breaths in sync with the pornographic sounds that emanated from your sucking. his large palm was wrapped around the back of your neck, controlling your posture. “ give me that sweet eyes again, and i will make them cry.”
he took so much pleasure in watching you swallow him hard, grunting every time he entered your throat hoping to relax it but causing the opposite effect. "'ot finished. take those balls too." he had pulled back to lift his painfully throbbing dick and place it against his stomach, you had started to lick them, letting your tongue work the entire surface, coating them with saliva. "feel? how full they are. they're gonna stuff you real bad. " you sucked on them when he pushed them directly into your mouth, making him let out throaty sounds. your mouth felt so good, he wondered if your pussy would be just as her.
between your legs, it was completely soaked. your sloppy slit dripping onto the floor. it wasn’t like rafe was ignoring that mess. he was just purely mesmerized by your lips, by the way you cupped his balls so well, and how his cock reacted to each of your licks.
you were definitely his best work. it was more than art, it was heavenly. he was incapable of not using you after creating you. he had his urges, and you had to respond to them.
he had started fisting his length, leaving you lapping at his genitals dangling above your face. the cum had gushed through the air, landing on you. he had rubbed his trailing tip on your cheeks, giving a new color to your skin.
he wondered if you were human enough to feel all this degradation. in a short movement, he had placed you in front of the standing mirror of the workshop, and had driven his body against yours. he spat into his hand before jerking off a little, pressing the head of his cock against your sticky dirty folds.
he placed his arm across your stomach, one hand gripping one of your breast, pressing it more firmly once lodged inside you and grunted as he felt how tight you were, how hard your pussy stretched in his path. thanks to the mirror, he could see each of your reactions, but above all, see your part pumped each of his inches. all his size had disappeared between your flowing walls.
your twitching cunt clenched around his girth, your canal squeezing him. his thrusts were merciless, burrowing into your soiled folds. rafe rocked his hips roughly, as his dick bullied your puffy core. he wondered how a loser like him could have created a goddess like you. and he was desperate to know if he could make you stupid, if his cock that destroyed and filled you was good enough for someone like you.
you had created a mess and frustration in him.
he was in love with the bouncing flesh on your tummy against his arm, your tits swaying when you took him. it was a grace.
he reached out and hit your spot every time he buried himself inside you, his face sank in your left shoulder. you could feel the strands of his hair against your skin, his mouth against your collarbone. you were his, he was fucking you like this. you were only alive when he touched you. you could feel his obsession and adoration in every thrusts, no matter how brutal they were. it was his way of showing you that you couldn't escape him and that you could never.
his rhythm was hard, as your pudgy tummy jiggled under his strong fingers who were digging into you. you were so giddy, fucked like a ragdoll not able to said if it was the butterflies that make your stomach spiraling, or that thick dick shoved inch by inch further into your messy slick. his other digits at your clit, massaging the small and eager bud. he was big enough to maneuver you and embraced your small frame with his muscular biceps.
you were too little, too fragile underneath him.
he was your creator, he gave you air but he could also take it away from you. you were completely dependent, not only you, but every crumb of your body. he was pounding into you with the inability to detach his cock from your fluffy pussy. he loved hearing your voice choked with tears and moans against his ear. it was a sweet melody, a symphony.
your body was perfect, straddling his, your skin slapping his. your lips gurgling around his fingers that you could no longer take without dropping them, because of his violent assaults. you drooled all over your mouth, struggling with the drool that splashed all over his hand.
you couldn't see anything anymore, it was blurry. you didn't even feel tired anymore, you felt like a stupid doll, unable to think and reflect, only able to take this cock nastily harassing you and stretching you violently.
with his muscular and heavy hand on your throat, he forced you to look at the mirror. there was something incredible and perfect in his hands, and you knew it from the moment he started sculpting you. they were so good and incredible, covered with veins that systematically bulged. they captured your belly fat well. “don’t hide this from me. it’s my property.”
he had harpooned your flesh between his fingers, making it move and hang down more as he fucked you senseless.
“if i shaped you like that, that meant i wanted you like that.” your tummy was caged in his grasp. “ i mean, look at that belly, it's all beauty, i swear.”
he had moved his hand to the lower part of your stomach, pressing that area of your skin, feeling his bulge farther in you. in this corner of the room, there was only you and him, only your whimpers against his fingers and the pleasure you felt. there was only this mirror that stared at you and reflected you in the darkness with the only light of the moon as a beacon.
you were divine, you had the perfect body of a goddess. and even having cum with you, even causing your third orgasm, he didn't want to pull out. it was as if he was afraid of the emptiness he expected after this. and maybe you too were dreading the emptiness inside you after he filled you up so well, your soaked pussy dripping with his cum, drooling all over the floor.
he had finally taken it out, his fingers entering you to collect his mixture and place it against your lips. “don’t let it go to waste.”
you had cleaned his fingers until they were pure again.
he had his eyes on you, like a human in front of art.
he still didn't realize. but he refused to let you escape. but it wasn't like you could. he had created a home here, all over this room and in you. he had established a domain in every inch of your skin. he only had to see you to know that you were his own creation.
you kissed him, slightly awkwardly but he made up for it with his mouth on yours. “you can’t abandon me.” he whispered. “i don’t want to abandon you.”
and it felt good to hear your words. you didn't know him well enough, or not really, to know how sick he was. but you felt grateful that he gave you life, because it was priceless. he had made you, and you were his.
“ what are you doing?” when you felt chains encircling your wrists, you weren’t sure if you liked it. "i really want to believe in you sweetheart but i also can't trust anyone. you have legs, you can run away from me but with this metal, you're stuck.”
“i don’t really like it…” you admitted and he replied “no one likes it but the difference is that you don’t really have a choice either. you're mine. your feelings, your body, your eyes, all of that is mine. even that pouty sweet face of yours. ”
you turned your head to let him know that you didn't appreciate it, and to give him the silent treatment. and he smiled. “it doesn't kill me, baby. you can pout. ”
you didn’t respond. "you really want to give me this treatment? maybe you really don't want me to be nice to you after all..."
he had smiled. “"okay...I'll give you what you want." he had disappeared for a few minutes before coming back with an object that you couldn't identify. " what is this ? "
"now, baby wants to talk...but it's a little too late, i'm making the rules here so...say hello to your new favorite toy. it's a gagball.”
you didn't feel it was useful until the ball went into your mouth and stopped you from speaking. you could only drool and grumble around the object.
"why that face, baby? that's not what you wanted? i swear you still look pretty. just quieter. i'm going to go to sleep. and tomorrow you'll show me how sorry you are for that attitude. you want to know if i would forgive you? maybe it would be too easy, you understand? you have all night to prepare excuses and they better please me because i can be even more creative than that to punish you. “
the next day he woke up in a good mood. and above all, you were always there.
he had picked up the bottle of water from his table, wondering if you were thirsty. but when he arrived in front of you, he changed his mind. he used it to wake you up.
"i'm so clumsy...sorry, baby." but there wasn't an ounce of regret in his voice so you knew he was joking. you learned to read his face.
“you know how sorry i am…” he added, facing your gaze.
“you’re not…”
"yes, right. such a clever baby. are you thirsty?”
" yes..."
“maybe if you show me how good and nice you are today, i can consider bringing you another bottle.”
"what do you want..."
“it’s not what i want, sweetheart. but what you will do to satisfy me. see the small difference ? ”
it had been several weeks, a month in fact, since the day of your creation. you had spent your time in this workshop, chained to this wall. you were only alone when rafe left, when he left you in the shadows.
in fact, he was clearly having fun with you. you were dependent on his affection, and he knew it. you reacted to the slightest attention he gave you, even the most mean and bad. but above all you were incapable of hating rafe cameron.
he had made you a magnificent creature, a living human, you would be even crueler than him if you hated him.
after all, you were his muse. he had the right to use you. that was also the thought he had drilled into your brain.
everything he did was for you. and you should be grateful.
but sometimes he wondered, if he killed you, would you come back to life? was there magic in you or was he just in a fucking wonderful dream? he did enough coke to get high for days but this time it lasted too long for it to be fake.
your relationship was strange because sometimes you felt loved, especially when he hugged you after being rough with you, his palm gently caressing your back. like any human, there was tenderness in him. he could be nice. he knew how to be one but that didn't mean he enjoyed being one. he just thought that if he was too mean, you would disappear.
and that was not something he could tolerate. during all this time spent with you, he had not learned, no, he had not succeeded, to live without you.
artists brought art to life, but art gave meaning to the artists' lives.
before you, he was alone.
he had prayed for you. he needed you. it was his final call.
rafe cameron fell in love with you before he created you, before he even imagined you.
and maybe that was why he was so mean to you, because he never knew love, so how can you blame him for not knowing if you loved him back or make fun of him?
he was pathetic, full of rage and violence. but you couldn't hate him, because you and him shared the same tears. the same pain.
he made you, and you made him. he was afraid and you were scared. you wanted someone to love you, and he wanted someone that could love him.
“ i swear, y/n. don't leave me alone. even when you looked away, you make me feel like a monster when i'm not. so please, do the same as me. ”
“ what ? ”
“ don't make me feel like somebody else exists. i'm the only world you can live in. ”
#wtf is wrong with me#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron oneshot#obx fic#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron smut#rafe x reader#rafe x y/n#rafe x you#pygmalion#x reader#mean!rafe#mean!rafe x reader#obx smut#obx fanfiction#characters x reader#greek mythology#rafe cameron concepts#rafe cameron prompt#dividers by plutism#slight angst#oneshot#smut#rafe prompt#obx au#smut and angst#rafe cameron scenarios
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Things about the Wisdom Saga that have plagued me all damn day
Legendary
Whether intentional or not, Miguel's Telemachus really sounds like a younger version of Jorge's Odysseus. And that hurts.
"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" The layers. Could he go out and hunt for his father? Could he find his 'legendary' strength within himself? Or will Odysseus be the 'monster' he finds?
"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength" And his call is answered T_T
20 years.
Antinous fully interrupts this bop. Rude.
Ayron sounds legitimately scary and Telemachus taking a stand is so O.O
Little Wolf
I wanna fight this guy. Love that Athena agrees. (The beat of the song and sharp bursts of vocals really emulate blows.)
The quaver on "I don't know how".
Athena is immediately charmed by Telemachus' enthusiasm. She sounds so fond.
The fact she sees heart in him as an advantage when it was Odysseus choosing heart over mind that drove them apart. Guh.
Did she tell him to bite Antinous? XD
"Oh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard." The change in her perspective is already so apparent - she wouldn't have admitted a mistake or miscalculation to Odysseus.
We'll Be Fine
"I had a friend before..." A FRIEND? FRIEND?!?!
An admission that she didn't fully appreciate what Odysseus was going through, that she feels guilty for having "missed it all".
It's unclear to begin with if she's come to Telemachus for Odysseus, or to try and replace him. Both are equally heart-breaking.
"I don't know who your friend is, I don't know what he's like" UNKNOWINGLY ECHOING HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN 'LEGENDARY'. NO IT'S FINE I'M FINE.
"The best day of my life because I got in a fight and I didn't die! :D" Telemachus, child, please.
"We'll be fine" using the same run as "this is my goodbye" T_T
Him immediately offering up friendship to Athena, like Odysseus once did, must hit her so hard. "You're a good kid." Yes he is - because he's more like his dad than he knows.
Love in Paradise
"Old friend..." FRRRRRIIIIEEEENNNNNDDDDD!!!!!
10 years.
The memory fragments sounding so fraught and chaotic together, hitting harder because they're hitting Athena all at once. She missed a lot.
"She's my wife." "Anyways..." Calypso, girl, please.
Love that they're singing completely different melodies through the first half of this song for two reasons: because Odysseus is revisiting previous motifs, once more trying to hold onto the man he was, and also because it shows Calypso is not willing to compromise on what she wants.
"Last I checked goddesses can't die." We'll come back to this later.
Then Odysseus realises he is truly trapped and he sings along to Calypso's melody in muted horror.
POLITIES OUT HERE STILL HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE.
Just the words "open arms" are enough to confront Odysseus (again) with all he's lost. All he hears are screams.
And the one he screams out for is Athena.
"He needs my help." NO KIDDING GO GET YOUR BOY.
God Games
"Father, God, King..." There's a lot to unpack in that fun family dynamic.
"To untie apprehensions that were placed on that Greek?" Zeus is like, nobody likes that guy, why do you care?
The gods being called out like X Factor finalists is everything.
So there's a great contrast against the previous song - unlike Calypso, Athena is matching each of her singing partners with their tone and beat as she convinces them. She isn't winning by 'imposing her will', she's meeting them where they are.
Rational arguments work until Aphrodite, where Athena says "please" for the first time. She softens to appeal to Aphrodite, which is why Ares has to step in.
The way she says his name XD
Ares' lines sound like as much of a fighting chant as 'Little Wolf' did, which makes it all the better that the mention of Telemachus is what gets her to 'fight back'.
"His son's my friend!" YES HE IS. And Athena of all people declaring "a broken heart can mend" is fascinating. Can't help but wonder if she's talking about herself coming around to forgiving Odysseus.
"Never once has he cheated on his wife." Handwaving the source material is worth it for this line ALONE.
Zeus is so pressed by everyone openly knowing he cheats on Hera. Stop doing it then my dude.
Ares sounding genuinely concerned for Athena is doing things to me. Goddesses can't die, huh?
Her time motif flitting in and out like a weak heartbeat.
The soft piano of 'Warrior of the Mind', touching on a whisper of 'Legendary', then rising to a triumphant crescendo as Athena regains herself. I will be forever haunted by visions of Odysseus and Telemachus helping her to her feet.
And then, finally, she faces her own father and begs. Because Odysseus and Telemachus deserve a chance to be father and child.
The parallel, by the way, of Athena entering this saga to help an outnumbered Telemachus, and now closing it with him/Odysseus unknowingly helping her win her own battle too. JORGE HOW DARE YOU T_T
#athena is my fav can you tell#I haven't seen any animatics don't come for me#epic the musical#the wisdom saga#athena#telemachus#odysseus#jorge rivera herrans
1K notes
·
View notes