halfbakedmuon

[halfbakedmuon]

wikihow step by step. how to stay motivated instead of getting flashes of motivations at 11pm

[halfbakedmuon]

it’s so evil when you have a beverage and you drink it and then there’s no beverage anymore

[halfbakedmuon]

does anyone else think everything on earth is really really scary or is it just me and every prey animal

[halfbakedmuon]

[halfbakedmuon]

when I was a kid I never realized this strip was a parody of some old child safety psas (“it is now 10pm. do you know where your children are?”) and that honestly made it funnier because it looked like calvin was doing this for no reason

[halfbakedmuon]

"it was in 2020" oh so like a year or so ago. a couple years. im sorry 5? did you just say five? five years ago ?

[halfbakedmuon]

its sooo cool messaging someone you think is cool. and then you find out they think YOURE cool like. awesome! yay! we should kiss

[halfbakedmuon]

[halfbakedmuon]

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

[halfbakedmuon]

i should wake up and automatically be restored to full health, that's how sleeping should work, what is this horseshit

[halfbakedmuon]

*grits teeth* im hopeful i believe there is good in the world im fucking hopeful

[halfbakedmuon]

[halfbakedmuon]

It’s my birthday so I’m forcing people on my dash to look at my cat. I can’t afford to blaze it but please look at him. His name is Fionn!

A very kind soul has decided to blaze this post! And if you want to see more of Fionn, check out @fionn-the-cat

[halfbakedmuon]

Musk: [calling Grimes at 3 in the morning] Tell them. Tell them I'm good at video games and I will give you sixty million dollars

Grimes:

Musk: or I detonate the chip in the baby's neck

Grimes: [long exhalation] seventy million

I had to take this screenshot myself because I was so convinced it wasn't real

[halfbakedmuon]

[halfbakedmuon]

[halfbakedmuon]

i can’t remember what six year old me was wishing for throwing coins in the fountain and blowing on dandelions but i hope the person i am today was at least one of them