#happy weekend !!!! i hope everyone gets to rest and fill themselves with good food !!!

[naixaie]

happy weekend !! ✨

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 82

Chapter 82: All Boys Camping Trip

It wasn’t until dinner that Gohan returned home, and he had the biggest smile I’ve seen yet. I was very happy for my son. Dinner was quiet, but at least my boys were all wearing big smiles. I don’t know what Goku talked with Gohan, and why he pushed him and Videl out the house. But in the end our Gohan looked happy. And if I was mistaken, he even looked at peace with something. I was so happy. Even Goten looked extremely happy after going on that little trip with his father. Right now, everything seemed right with the world.

I was just about to get up, to clean dishes, when Goku pulled me back down. He then filled my plate again. I was about to protest, till he stuffed food in my mouth. Jerk! Eat. I gave him one more glare, and started digging in. After dinner, Goku helped with the dishes. What’s going on? I’ll tell you later. I was feeling slightly worried. But the smile he wore, gave me hope it was nothing bad. After dishes were done, Goku helped me tuck away an exhausted Goten, and say good night to Gohan.

When we entered our room, I heard the door lock. Oh no! There’s only one reason he would do that. “Goku, what’s going on?” He still didn’t answer, but I felt him behind me. “You said you’ll tell me later. It’s now later.” I then felt his hands on my hips, and him dropping kisses on my neck.

“This weekend was interesting to say the least.” Oh, how so? “I got to spend alone time with our second son. Also, I did something I never thought would happen.”

“And that is?” That’s when he turned me around, and kissed my nose. He then dropped kisses on my lips.

“I spoke with Gohan about certain things.” Like? “Almost like my version of the talk, but leave out the babies. He wanted to know what’s going on with him, and he asked what I went through. Our boy is so smart. But it made me happy to share something that had nothing to do with training or fighting.” I was surprised, and so very happy. “Yeah. Our Gohan truly found his special someone. Especially if she’s making him go crazy, like you do to me.”

“What do you mean?” That’s when I saw him smirk, and him transform. Let me show you. He then licks his lip.

…

For the rest of the school year went pretty well. My classmates slowly started talking to me again, and nobody was afraid of me. I was able to play games with everyone again. But it made me realize who were my true friends, and I made sure I played with them the most. On the weekends were also interesting. Gohan wasn’t home as much, which made me sad. But it did give me more alone time with dad. Also, every day after dinner, I would read a book while on dad’s back, while he did pushups. We have yet missed a day. If I wasn’t reading a book, I was telling my parents of my day.

It was now the beginning of summer vacation, and I knew the real for was going to start. I wonder what I was going to do all summer. Maybe ask big brother to join me and dad on a camping trip. Just as I was coming into the kitchen, for breakfast, mom was getting off the phone. Gohan even looked between excited and disappointed. Dad looked super excited. It was after breakfast we had guess. It was Trunks and uncle Vegeta. I wonder why they’re here. That’s when dad picked me up, and Gohan followed behind. “See you in 7 days, Chichi.” “Have fun boys.” What in the world is going on?

I asked Trunks if he knew. “Na. My dad just told me to get dress, and to let’s go.” This is just weird. As we flew, we passed a few mountains till we finally stopped. Then dad started talking.

“Let’s have a little scavenger hunt before lunch.” Uh? He then took out two sheets of paper and handed them to me and Trunks. “You can’t ask Gohan for help, and you can’t go into the city. Plus, no trying to contact mom for the answers. The one who is able to find the most, or everything, on that list gets the afternoon to themselves.” Me and Trunks looked excited at the list. It was a list of how certain things looks. So, we’re supposed to what? “Find what those things are, and bring them back to us.”

“What is Gohan gonna do?” I agreed with Trunks. What is big brother going to do?

“He already done this, so he gets a pass. So, he gets a choice on what he wants to do. That doesn’t involve leaving the mountains.” Gohan looked happy for a moment, till he heard that last part. “So.” Dad then looked at the sky. “From the looks of it, you got about 2, maybe 3, hours to find what’s on that list.” Me and Trunks gave each other one more look, before we slip up and went looking.

…

“Summer Vacation? What’s that?”

“Oh, the boys are out of school for the summer. It last for at least 2 months. And if I’m correct, it starts next week.” I got up from the floor, and followed her outside. She then told me how the boys spent last summer. Then I got an idea.

“Maybe I could take them on a camping trip. Like, just as boys.”

“I don’t know. It has been years since you and Gohan did something like that. And then your improv one went well, from how happy Goten was. But what would you do with the boys?” She then put the sheets back in the basket, and marched over to me. “No Goku! No training!”

“Oh, come on. Not super heavy. Just the great outdoors, maybe a spar or two. You know, basic stuff. I could also invite Vegeta, and Trunks.” She then raised an eyebrow at me. “Come on. Not the whole summer. Just a few days.”

“How would you convince Vegeta to agree?” I kissed her forehead. She gave me a smile before I was off to catch Vegeta. He was in this gravity room, and I almost fell head first. Then the heavy gravity was gone.

“What the hell do you want, Kakarot?”

“Camping trip. You should come with Trunks. Should be fun.”

“What the world is a camping trip?”

“The great outdoors. Tell stories. Hunt your own food.” He told me to get ready, and he turned back on the gravity. We ended up sparring for an hour, till he told me he’ll go.

“But how the hell we’re going to making a training camping trip?” Leave that to me. Also do you mind rising the gravity a bit. “Done warming up?” We smirked, and I gave him a nod. “Fine.” We went at it till it was time to go pick up the boys. “Call the woman the day of.” I nodded and was off.

…

The moment I got home after school dad dragged me back outside. What gives? “Camping trip, I want your opinion.” What? Why my opinion? “Because I want to include training, and I want to make it fun for the boys.” Boys? “Yeah, I invited Trunks and Vegeta to join us.”

We ended playing different training games. This actually got me excited since it’ll be the first camping trip I go with dad, since he came back to life. It’ll feel like old times, plus I was able to plan the activities this time around. And for some activities I could do whatever I want, and for some I couldn’t get away from. Plus, the idea of doing a little training with dad sounded fun. “Why can’t I bring a book?” That’s so not fair.

“Gohan.” I was actually pouting, folding my arms, and looking away. “Next time. And maybe next time you could bring Videl.” I actually felt my face getting hot at that idea.

“But I get first dibs on picking what’s for lunch on the first day.”

“Are you going to hunt it?” I nodded. “Cut it up?” I nodded again. “What about cook it?” I nodded one more time. “Fair enough. But Gohan.” I felt nervous as I looked at dad. “During this trip no contact with Videl. Your only focus is on this trip.” I actually got sad at that. “Don’t worry, afterwards your free to spend as much time as you want with her. Just make sure nothing happens.”

“Like what?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh! No. Of course not. I’m behaving. Mom told me I shouldn’t be doing that stuff till after marriage.” He then snickered. “What?” He ruffled my hair, and we made our way back home. I can’t believe this.

When the day finally came, I got out of bed early. When I made it downstairs, mom was already making breakfast. Guess I didn’t wake as early as I thought. At least I was up before dad. That meant I get warm pancakes, while theirs get cold. The moment I started to dig in is when dad finally came down. Soon after, Goten came. I already told Videl last night on what’s happening, and apologized. After breakfast Vegeta and Trunks came, and we were off. After dad told the squirts what to do, I was free. Since I got 2 to 3 hours of time, I chose to hunt bear. It’s been forever since I had that. Especially since mom didn’t allow me to hunt them. Only dad was allowed to.

I was between asking dad if he could give me any pointers, or just wing it. I chose to wing it, and I was so glad I did. It was fun using all my senses like this. I actually felt like I was in my element, and it felt incredible. This is exactly what I been missing. Even though mom gave me the chance to be out hunting, and have my morning workouts. But when I started school, it became less and less. It had become I only hunted on weekends and working out was almost nothing. I started to get something when I started helping Videl, but it’s kind of wasn’t the same. This trip is allowing me the time to actually not rush things. To actually allowing me to use all my senses.

Maybe this summer I should do my own training trips. With or without dad. I could even ask Mr. Piccolo. Maybe even Videl. She might not be able to keep up with me, but it could be fun. The more I think about it, the more excited I become. A whole summer doing training trips. Maybe not even train, just have fun doing other stuff.

When I made to the camp with my kill, the brats was nowhere to be seen. On top of that both dad and Vegeta seemed to be having a staring contest. But if I know any better, it’s probably something else. I just finished cutting up the meat, when Trunks and Goten showed up. Trunks was complaining about the things on the list, and how were they supposed to find everything. Even Goten was agreeing with him. I had half a mind to answer, but dad seem to have got it. I couldn’t help overhear as I finished up with the bear.

…

“Yeah! How were we supposed to find this stuff?”

“Were you two flying the whole time?” We both nodded. “So, of course you wasn’t going to find much.” He then looked over to Gohan, and then looked back at us. “Looks like you boys have at least 30 minutes to find one or two things. I’m sure you could do it.” I looked over to Trunks, and he looked ready to say something.

“Boy! Don’t you dare open your mouth.” Uncle Vegeta then tapped his wrist. “Time is running out.” That’s when we panicked and went back in search for at least one more thing. This was way harder than I thought. Some of this stuff I’ve kind of seen, but everything else sounded funny. Two of them were flowers, I think some were fruits, but the last three was what confused me. On top of that my list was different than Trunks. So, we couldn’t help each other. Oh! I think I found one. This is a weird looking plant. But it’s big green leaves, blue small flowers, and is shiny. With this I made my way back.

As I watched dad count, I was getting nervous, I even saw Trunks looking nervous. Turns out I only got half of the things right. I was disappointed, but was happy that I got more than Trunks. In a way I finally beat him at something. It also meant after lunch I could do whatever I wanted. But what about Trunks. Turns out he had to find everything we missed on his own. He wanted to complain, but was stopped by uncle Vegeta.

As I watched Gohan use ki blast to cook meat, dad was praising him. Saying stuff like, how he finally didn’t burn dad’s hair. Also, stuff like, how he finally learned to not burn meat to ash. They seem to laugh at that. Why was that so funny? I don’t get it. Even Trunks seemed confused by it. That’s when dad called me, and asked if I wanted to give it a try. He even asked Trucks to try. We tried, and it was funny. Trunks’ was ash, and mine had a hole in it. “Guess that’s a lesson for tomorrow.” Uh? What did dad mean by that? We then saw Vegeta have a piece of meat in his hands. He didn’t throw it. He just had it resting on his hand. Then it was in flames for a few seconds, and his meat was cooked. WOW! “And you call me a show off.” Both our dads gave a smirk.

-----

Ch81

[marvellovegalore]

Loving You

Chris Evans

Synopsis: Chris is over the moon, he's met you and life couldn't be better - you're all he's ever dreamed of and there's nothing you could do to ruin that.

Warning: explicit language, sexual content

No one in your industry would ever consider you difficult to work with, neither mean, arrogant, conniving or calculating. Most would go out of their way to praise you, proclaim their adoration for the movie star of dreams. On the other hand, your previous partners would. Ex-boyfriends that would bravely volunteer to be interviewed about your past relationship would recount their experiences with the same look as a shell-shocked soldier. If they could, they would gather in a support group for those left with deeply affecting, unresolved trauma - left by you.

You would deny it, if you could be bothered; or if the media had declared your heartbreaker ways to be of public interest. Which they are, but you’re largely untouchable therefore they're unreported. A Hollywood starlet, philanthropist, trend setter and tastemaker - alongside with being viewed largely as a sweetheart. Your childhood nannies coming in storming with adulations and saccharine recollections of a sweet and shy child. Friends that are more than happy to celebrate you on social media and fans who fill the internet with high production videos of you strutting on the streets and red carpets cement the idea that you are the moment, and you are loved.

To the world outside of the sphere of your ex-boyfriends, you were the most eligible bachelorette. There was no flaw in sight, no illusion to dispel or enchantment to break; you’re the real deal. Until you get bored, and you need to hurt someone. Because hurt people, hurt people. As the saying goes. There’s no need to go into that - just yet.

So, when Christopher saw you at the 2019 Vanity Fair Oscars after party, he fell head over heels. Your eyes cast a spell on him, and the enchantment was cast by the world’s master mage, you. You barely realised what you did, you were in no mood to flirt or truly fraternise. You were attempting to drown your sorrows of missing out on another Oscar win for the second time - in a mojito glass. You looked spectacular, possibly more than how you looked during the ceremony. But to Chris, your face of indignation looked like the angelic expression of a good second place loser with no hard feelings. He attempted to approach you, but too many people go into his way, they came with unprovoked film criticisms and pseudo interview responses that would get them into the academy board. All he wanted was to see your face up close and know how you spoke when you weren’t being regarded by a crowd of enraptured spectators.

He could see that you weren’t being left alone either, you hadn’t won the Oscar, but you are being treated as if you did. Your eyes bounce off of him every once in a while, but he couldn’t capture your attention - and then you left the party. You hardly made the French exit you were seeking. Stars old and young clamoured to say their goodbyes and kisses on your cheeks. You finally managed to escape. If Chris were to attempt to lie and say that he wasn’t disappointed, a blind woman could have seen right through him. His heart dropped, and he couldn’t explain why - he didn’t even know you.

Some other actor friends managed to drag him to a more intimate after party, the setting hardly intimate. A compound nestled in Hidden Hills, twenty-four-hour security circling the property, of one starlet who presented herself at the beginning of the night but chose an early slumber rather than socialising.

You came in half an hour after him, a miniskirt showing off your incredible legs - which were insured for an absurd amount.

His breath caught in his mouth. You were dressed down, but you looked too incredible to even try and claim you didn’t try. Everyone’s head turned and everyone was captured by the beauty at the door, accompanied by a friend. Your demure appearance fooling everyone into thinking that the attention was unwanted. You grabbed yourself a drink and half an hour later you were still enveloped with a group of equally intoxicated friends.

Though, Chris was determined to get your attention. He grabbed a drink off of the barman and slowly and easily made his way to you. The word ‘chill’ being chanted over and over again in his head. He was dead set on not making a fool of himself. Three steps away from you, glass of mojito clutched in his hands, his anxiety being beaten down and desperately suffocated into his stomach and away from his brain. He goes over his words, and before he finishes walking to you, you turn suddenly.

Your eyes pierce into his, a smirk glossing your lips. “Hi.” Your voice is low, characteristically different from your stage voice - your accent just as strong.

“Hey, got this for you.” Chris thrusts the glass into your unexpectant hand, some of the drink splashing out over the frosted rim. “Hope, it’s not too presumptive of me to have gotten it for you?” His eyes have glossed over, he shifts his weight from one foot to another. You shake your head no, a sweet smile playing at your lips. He’s even easier on the eyes much closer up. “Sorry you didn’t win that Oscar, real shame, I was rooting for you!”

You store it in the back of your mind that this man manages to look like a golden retriever even when he’s several drinks down, “It’s nothing, what does it mean anyway, I’ll still get more jobs in the future.” You take a sip of your drink after he takes a sip of his.

He compliments your eyes, your complexion and goes on an eager rant of how much he admires your capacity for acting. You drink in the adoration diluted by alcohol and take his words with a pinch of salt. After twenty minutes of solid, drunken conversation you’ve moved to a nook shadowed by statues. Your legs next to his on the red velvet sofa. You remark on the class of the artistic statues, clearly purchased illegally from a Mediterranean museum. He barely takes in your words, much preferring to intoxicate himself with the sight of you - and his fifth beer.

You’ve decided that you want him. Badly. But you’ve sussed him out. He’s not just going to be a one-night stand - in the animal kingdom he’s a Golden Retriever, and those aren’t dogs to be messed with. Your last fling was essentially a Doberman pinscher - discardable - but this Chris had to reeled in slowly.

You interrupt his musing about the Boston markets with a kiss.

Your lips smoothly capture his, your lipstick smearing over his lips. His hand presses tightly on the small of your back, arm underneath your waist holding you up higher. Stars explode inside your eyelids and his fingers grip tightly onto your shirt as your tongue licks his bottom lip. Your entry is granted, you lips pressing tighter against each other. Your eyelashes dance over his. Your hands rise to his face, your hands imprinting themselves onto his cheekbones. His hand brushes over the bare skin of your leg, his fingertips tracing the insides of your thighs. A small moan rises from the back of his throat.

The hold you have on him is cemented, you part away from him. You untangle yourself from him and stand up from the sofa, your eyes refusing to look at him, you smooth your clothes and slowly strut away from him.

Chris looks at the fire that you’ve set on his limbs in disbelief, he doesn’t grasp what you’ve just done. Did he do something wrong? Does he smell? No. You just didn’t care for the ceremony of the first ‘after-kiss’ moments.

He doesn’t see you for a year.

You truly are elusive - to the media and him.

He couldn’t get you out of his mind, and the fact that you starred in another award-nominated film did little to help him forget you.

You were curious to understand whether you really enticed him or not. You decided to not pursue that line of questioning, and never bothered to reply to his direct messages. It wasn’t done with the intent of hurting him, you just didn’t care. But life has a way of putting things in your way that deep down you didn’t know you wanted.

--

Nevertheless, here you are, with your boyfriend of a year - Christopher, sat across from you telling you story about his nephew. You simper, your eyes flitting between the sight of him and the view of the sea. The coast of Martha’s Vineyard enraptures you, you drink your wine, eyes steadily moving to the coastal view.

You grew up coming here. Your family often choosing the quiet island to rest in during the late spring holidays. You brought Chris back here to stay at your family holiday home as it’s not too far from his own family home, a perfect last stop after spending the week with his family.

He watches you curiously, his blue irises begging you to let him in to your thoughts. You refuse silently and beckon the waiter. You ask for the bill, it’s quickly on the table and you pay - ignoring Chris’ refusals. You smile at him, for the second time during dinner. He responds in kind, remarking on your bad mood and how he’s glad you’ve cheered up after having some food. He muses on the lovely weekend you’ve had together as you leave the restaurant. Candlelight following you as you make your exit with your hands holding each other tightly, his other hand in his preppy shorts.

You walk slowly, watching the sunset. His arm finding its way around your shoulders. His sweet and intimate embrace enveloping you in warmth. Your heart beats quickly against his bicep as you near your home. Your hands tremble for some reason and you practically sprint up the porch steps after you’ve crossed the gate and walkway, leaving Chris five steps behind you.

You open the door and make a quick beeline for the kitchen in the far back of the house. You enter the pantry, ignoring Chris’ questions of what is wrong. You take a bottle of Rosé out of the wine fridge and forgo pouring it into a glass and drink it straight from the bottle. It tastes incredibly sweet, and Chris finds you eventually in the pantry. He looks at you in surprise as you gulp the drink.

“Everything okay, baby?” He walks to you, his hands failing onto your hips, his adoring eyes almost boring into your soul. You refuse him entry into the pits of your emotions. Steeling yourself against the onslaught of therapy-like talk.

You don’t want him to know that hurt people, hurt people. And that you’re one of them.

You kiss him, silencing his calming words.

His fingers tighten on your sundress. The colour melding with the colour of his fingers. Your lips become one.

You go through the steps of getting out of the pantry in a seemingly choreographed dance, your dance ends in the smaller reception room; your bodies tangling themselves on the rug. Neither of you giving a care to fact that you’re undressing in front of the window overlooking the pool and coast.

The flickers of the setting sun’s rays highlight his now bare chest. He returns his lips to yours in a hypnotising kiss. Your hands dance with the muscles of his back as you caress his skin, his torso vibrating in between your legs with the fervour of his movements. Your dress is ripped off your body. He directs his attention to your right breast, his soft lips caressing your skin. His tongue lashes slowly against your nipple, you fight to hold back your moans as his hand lowers to your pussy. His fingers pushing aside your pants, his fingers sink into you like it’s their second nature. Your head rolls back as he makes love to you with his fingers and his lips lower down to where his fingers are. He licks you where you need him most, his love for you being written inside you with his tongue.

You orgasm. Slowly.

And all that runs through your mind is how much you’ll miss him.

You pull him up to you, you turn over and straddle him. Tasting yourself on his lips as the sun sets even lower. The waves crash against the shore violently as the wind picks up. You lower yourself onto him and start riding him, your hips bucking in an impassioned manner against his. He doesn’t hold back his moans as he caresses your breasts and stomach.

You realised you loved him four months ago, but every time you catch sight of his loving eyes when you’re fucking, it makes you fall in love all over again.

Chris switches and puts you on all fours, he grips your hair in his hands, the rising intensity making him grip you harder. His thrusts are merciless, his spare hand spanking you and stroking, you’re on the cusp of a sensory overload when he turns you over. On your back you have the most beautiful view. A strong ray of sunlight brightening his eyes as he makes love to you. His kisses are tender but intense. His hand grips onto yours, your fingers intertwined and his other hand griping onto your face.

A tear slips out of your eye, you wipe it away quickly. Your increased sensitivity makes the second orgasm come, Chris fucks you through your breathy moans and you throw your head back. Momentarily blinded by the bliss; the pink sky wakes up from the saccharine, cloudy state. Chris orgasms into you with four thrusts.

You push away from him and stand up; you pull on your silky pants. You sigh and leave Chris on laying breathless on the rug. You walk upstairs and enter your room. You use the toilet, wash your hands, have a glass of water and throw on a short black dress. As you pull on your boots Chris enters the room, a smile gracing his lips.

He pulls on some shorts, “Want to tell me what all that was about?” He gives you a confused expression as he lies back against the bed, taking one of the fluffed pillows from behind him and tucking it between his chest and arms.

Hurt people, hurt people.

You turn towards him, facing away from your walk-in closet. “When we fuck, I have to think about other men to get through it.”

His eyes widen alarmingly, he turns to you, the light of the tv making him blue. “Say that again?” The disbelief is almost tangible in his words.

“I feel embarrassed about being seen with you now. I feel I’m just too good for you.” You walk into the closet and you hear him stomp off the bed.

“No, rewind to what you first said.” His voice is louder, his features twisted with confusion and hurt.

“I have to think of other guys to get off,” your eyes connect with his, you don’t look away, you fight the smirk biting at your lips. “I can’t stand the thought of being with you any longer. I’m sick of it.” You grab the suitcase that was packed for you when you were at the restaurant. “Also, you’re not as ripped as you were when we met, there’s other guys that can provide that image for me.”

“Take it back.” The hurt he’s feeling is completely tangible now. “Take it back right now. Right. Now.” His eyes are pleading with you to have mercy.

You've decided that you've gone past the point of no return. “I’d be happy never have to see you or have to hear from you - ever again.” You scan his eyes, your heart swelling with an eerie feeling of pride as his eyes flood with held back tears.

“This must be some elaborate prank— “he chokes on his words, his hands reach for yours, but you step back.

“This year has been tedious, completely boring and I’ve gotten nothing but only ten decent fucks from you.” Not true, and both of you can attest to that, you've had the best sex, your mutual adoration is clear when you make love. So, Chris is at a loss to understand how this is all being said and happening. “I’m off to New York, stay as long as you like or don’t. I don’t care. Have a nice life.” You slip past him.

Taking his heart and soul with you.

He can’t stop the tears from ballooning in his eyes and then trickling down his cheeks.

He must be stuck in a nightmare. He doesn’t know how long he’s been pacing in this closet filled with your clothes, your smell haunting him.

He rushes downstairs and there’s no sign of you. He stumbles outside and there’s no sign of you or your driver. He rushes in to get his phone and calls you. Five times. The sixth time it goes straight to voicemail.

He feels his heart break.

He falls right in the spot he’s in. He vomits his heart out, the pieces being spat out onto the wooden floors. The blood shinning underneath the soft lights of the lamps.

He wants death. Slow and steady death.

——

Part Deux -

[roger-that-cap]

cardigan

natasha romanoff x f!reader

word count: 8.9k (haha)

warnings: swearing, cheating!natasha, sad!reader, uhm this is angsty for me, asshole!natasha, sort of asshole!team, more angst, sort of happy ending sort of, secrets™️

this is inspired by taylor swift’s cardigan. folklore and evermore are really getting me through this i swear

obviously i do not own this song, picture, or any of the warped lyrics that i attempted to slide in as creatively possible :) this is also my first one shot and my first reader insert ever- i tried to not go into any physical details about miss y/n but i hope y’all like it!

No editor. All mistakes are 100% mine!

You couldn’t have been any more excited to see Natasha. She had been gone for what felt like forever on a mission with Steve, Bucky, and some agent that was on her first big mission, a girl that you recalled to be named Abigail. Regardless of what her name was, they were all heading home today after so long, nearly two months.

There was no telling how much you were ready for the return of your fiancée. The two of you had promised to get married nine months ago, and you were already deep into planning. You were going to your dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s (your literal childhood wish) in two days. You had the venue picked, the table accessories done, the seating chart already filled out and sitting pretty in laminated sheets in a binder. The day was going to be perfect, and it was what you and Natasha deserved after so long. Especially Natasha, after every single thing that she had been through just to save the world and to help those who weren’t able to help themselves.

Natasha was your angel.

Your heart was racing in your chest as you waited for the quinjet to land, the ring feeling light on your left finger as you rolled back and forth on your feet. You couldn’t hold back a toothy grin as you waited for them to fly back in, and to hug Natasha again. That was the most important part. To have her back in your arms so that you could do things like stay in together for the weekend and stay holed up in their room just doing innocent things, like counting each other’s heartbeats.

You stood with your hands clasped in front of your body as they landed, a dopey grin on your face and the same nervous glint in your eye that was there every time that you waited for your fiancée to come back home. You knew that Natasha would always find her way back to you, but there was no telling what condition she would be in.

The moment the doors opened, Abigail ran through them, and down the ramps nearly knocking you over. You reached your arms out to steady the other girl, who looked like she was about to burst into tears at any second. As much as you wanted to just hug Natasha and go home after you ate and sleep in bed with her, you couldn’t leave a girl in tears like that without checking on her. “Woah, are you okay, sweetie?”

The girl’s bottom lip jutted out, like she was about to cry just because of you asking the question. She didn’t say anything, but she was obviously falling apart from the inside, and it made you more than mildly concerned. You didn’t like to see anyone cry, let alone a girl who had just come back from her first big mission. “I’m fine.” Her voice cracked.

“Are you sure?” You were no medic or super soldier or even assassin-spy, but you were nothing if not rational and sympathetic. You were so in tune to the poor girl that you didn’t feel the palpable awkwardness of everyone else who walked off of the quinjet, almost all of them cringing. “Do you need to talk to someone?”

“I- I’m sorry,” Abigail said, and she was running away from you faster than you had ever seen anyone run before.

You frowned as you watched her run. “I hope she’s alright, poor thing. I can’t imagine how a first mission feels,” you murmured, turning around and seeing the slightly spooked eyes of the rest of the team. You smiled at them cautiously and walked over to Natasha, arms already raised as you went to embrace her tightly. You breathed in and put your face in her neck, nearly crying tears of joy as you smelled her shampoo, a rich scent that meant the safety and comfort of them both. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

You were so happy to hold your fiancée again that you almost didn’t notice how standoffish she was being, and her lack of enthusiasm. She had never been not enthusiastic to see you, especially after going so long without seeing each other. After too long of her not reacting to your warm embrace by kissing your hair or murmuring her usual missed you, princessa, you pulled away and looked at her, a questioning look on your face. “Are you okay, my love?”

Natasha stepped back, not looking you in the eyes and choosing to just smooth out the sleeves of her combat attire, eyes on the floor. That was very unlike her. Something must have gone terribly wrong. “I just want to get home.”

Your vibe visibly deteriorated. It was obvious that Natasha had just popped your bubble and left it as an empty shell, but you were still smiling anyway. Like you always did. “Okay, Nat. We can do that.” You reached out for Natasha’s hand and grabbed it after waving goodbye to the other team members, who all looked either extremely displeased or like they had been caught doing something very awkward.

You walked back to your part of the tower together in silence that wasn’t characteristic of the two of you. You were a known chatterbox, happy and always starting meaningful conversations, but also one of the best listeners to ever grace the earth. Natasha liked to listen, too, and she had the best words and the best voice to listen to. One of them was always talking. The silence between them was almost haunting.

Natasha went straight into the shower. She didn’t offer for you to go in with her, which was what the two of you always did after a mission. You got to see Natasha at her most vulnerable, and Natasha was finally allowed to let down the shroud of strength that only lasted for so long without being damaging. It was the thing that kept you close and often the action that got Natasha to open up about what happened and how she truly felt. Natasha skipping out on that time hurt you and made you expect the worst. 

She turned the lights off the minute that she was out of the shower, not speaking to you or even offering any physical assurance, which was something that Natasha knew that you needed after she came home.

You just prayed that she would be ready to talk in the morning.

§§§

Natasha wasn’t there when you woke up. You frowned and patted the empty spot in the bed beside you even though you knew that she was probably at the gym or running around doing errands. You sighed and crawled out of bed, doing the daily routine that you usually did with Natasha, and leaving the room to go make some breakfast.

There were whispers that hissed like snakes when you came around the corner, and they came to a screeching halt when you bounced into the room. You grinned at everyone sitting or standing in the kitchen, ignoring their deer-in-headlights looks and searching for the woman you were set to get married to. You frowned a bit when there was no sign of her.

“Good morning!” You hummed out anyways, going towards the pantry once you saw that no one had made food yet. Because you were staying there and you had no other skills, you had been the one to take up personal chef for the entire team just to pull some weight, even though they insisted that you didn’t need to do a thing. As long as you “kept Nat happy”, they said. 

It took a second for any of them to respond. “Good morning,” Steve said, his voice oddly clinical for the way he usual greeted you. He was the morning person of the bunch, and probably your closest friend other than Wanda. 

You took the supplies out of the pantry with a thoughtful look on your face. “I’m not trying to pry,” you started softly, back still towards them as you started with the pancake mix. “But, was the mission bad?” No one spoke for a few heavy moments. 

“We succeeded,” Bucky finally stated vaguely, his voice floating through the room.

You never the type to spill all of your personal business to people, but these people weren’t just anyone. These were your closest friends, the people who were going to be in the wedding, either in one bridal party or the other’s. “Nat’s not talking to me,” you sighed out, and turned around to see all of them stiff as boards. “Was it hard for her?”

No one said anything.

You pursed your lips and turned your back to them again, looking away from them to gathered your thoughts for a second. You took in a deep breath and told yourself not to pry, not to think about what Natasha would surely tell you when she was ready. You turned your head and gave them your trademark grin. “Who wants blueberries in their pancakes?”

§§§

You sat in your shared room after a full day of Natasha blatantly ignoring and avoiding you. You were patient, because that was what you had to be to date an Avenger, but Natasha had never straight up ignored you before. You learned very quickly that it called for a different type of patience than the one you were used to.

   In the kitchen when she was forced to be present after you cooked a huge welcome home meal, she didn’t hug on you or kiss your cheek or even look you in the eyes. It wasn’t like her. You came to the tough conclusion that it wasn’t because of the mission, because she had never done that before, not even after the one where the children were caught in the crossfire. You were always the one that she talked to, no matter what.

The lamp light was the only light on in the room, because you knew that Natasha liked it better that way. Maybe less light would make her open up a bit, and the two of you would finally see eye to eye after the annoying stalemate that felt eternal.

You didn’t know how long Natasha would take come back and speak, but you knew that it wouldn’t be too long. Natasha liked to talk, and she had said multiple times that she liked to talk to you the most. It would be any time, right? That’s what you thought until the hours crept by, and you saw and heard no sign of anything. Not even the ding of an elevator or the shutting of a door, or her soft footsteps that she made on purpose because her natural steps were so quiet that she scared you when she appeared. 

When Natasha finally came in, it was late in the night, morning time. Three in the morning, to be exact. You shook off your nerves and smiled at her, and the smile wasn’t returned as much as it should have been. “Hi,” you said, almost a little star struck by finally seeing her. It brought you back to the time you didn’t truly know her. 

You had always admired Natasha. Not even because of her being Black Widow, but because she was Natasha Romanoff, an enemy spy and assassin turned good. And it brought you pure joy knowing that you would soon be taking on her last name, which you secretly thought of as your greatest achievement. Natasha was the one you wanted with for life, and you were steps closer. 

You waited to hear Natasha’s voice. You waited in anticipation for her to run to you and start to spill immediately. You were waiting to wipe her tears and assure her that it wasn’t her fault, and that she couldn’t have done anything differently. “Hi.”

You frowned. Confusion flooded your senses at the short greeting. “Huh?”

“Why are you up?” Her tone sounded almost accusatory, like she had caught you doing something that you weren’t supposed to do, like you were intruding on her time. The frown on your face turned into a slight scowl, and then you reminded yourself that patience was key with Natasha.

“I’m allowed to wait up for my future wife,” you teased, but the look in your eye was serious. You could see how the red head lingered at the doorway, like she was trying to decide whether to bolt or leave with grace. You weren’t going to give her enough time to make the decision. Come sit, please.” When Natasha didn’t move an inch, your facial expression fell. “Please.”

Natasha walked over to the bed slowly, like she was being forced to move or die. You shook your head side to side, eyeing her up and down like the answer to the problem that you didn’t know yet was written on her body somewhere. “I’m here,” she said quietly, like a distant whisper.

“Are you really?” You asked quietly, and it felt like your voice echoed like the beating of drums in the nearly silent room. “Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing happened.”

You knew that you shouldn’t pry. You both hated prying, but you were also both naturally transparent. You two had never truly had to pry with each other before. The truth was, you didn’t know how far you could push until she snapped on you. “Are you sure?”

Like someone had flipped a switch, a small smile lit up on Natasha’s face. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to sate you for a while. “Yes, princessa. I’m very sure. I’m tired.”

That was all it took. All it took was Natasha muttering the sweet nickname to you, and it was all as good as talked about. You could rest for a moment.

“Then we can go to bed, my love.” You reached out to touch Natasha’s face, loving the familiar feeling of her soft skin. “You know, you don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me anything, Nattie.”

You stared at Natasha for a while, just admiring her face and everything about it, almost missing the way that she didn’t do it back. This was something that you two did nearly every night before going to sleep- you just watched each other. A slow, dopey grin slid onto your face, and then you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose, then her cheek, and then to her pink lips in a soft yet passionate kiss, as soft as rose petals.

You pulled away and smiled at her with your eyes closed, nuzzling your face into her neck. You took in a deep breath, inhaling her sweet smell and feeling the comfort was over you like waves in the ocean. You could have told her a thousand things in that instant, but they all revolves around one master idea. “I love you so much, Natasha.”

You brushed a red strand of hair out of her face before reaching up to kiss her forehead, and then you were back in her neck, trying to sleep.

There was no response, just Natasha’s arm’s getting tighter around you and squeezing three times, each harder and shakier than the last. That was all it took for you to fall asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you recalled having a dream that featured a woman crying, the sound distant yet close.

§§§

You had a feeling that Natasha was going to do the exact same thing that she did the first time, and you assumed correctly. You took it in stride this time and went to the flower store to pick out your bouquet that you would walk with, and probably throw. It was something that you wanted to do on your own, anyway. Like most brides, you didn’t want your future spouse seeing anything that you were going to be wearing until the big day. Not even the veil or the flowers that you would be carrying.

“That’s gorgeous!” You grinned at the employee, who mirrored your excited look. “That’s perfect, she’ll love it.”

While you gushed about your flowers, you also wondered if Natasha was doing a bouquet, too. You hoped that she had someone that would help her out with it, maybe Sharon or Wanda. Natasha wasn’t really big on the planning of the wedding. In fact, she wanted it much smaller than it was going to be, but you had convinced her to do it your way. Maybe it was your natural charm that helped you swindle the spy, or perhaps it was because she just secretely wanted the same thing.

As you walked away from the flower shop after placing the order, you walked by the busy donut shop that Natasha loved going to. Usually, it would be Natasha that stopped by and brought you some donuts, but maybe the other way around would be enough to make the red headed woman smile a bit. You stopped for a second and then didn’t hesitate to go in, pulling out a couple dollars for a tip, too.

Natasha loved chocolate donuts, even though she tried to resist eating them. You liked glazed better, but it was alright. You’d buy chocolate for her. You had hope that they would get Natasha to open up just a little, as dumb as it sounded. But a bribe never went wrong, and what was the harm in donuts?

“Thank you, Sarah,” you said after you got the box of donuts, walking out of the sweet smelling shop and down the street towards the tower.

When you got back, it was loud. It usually was pretty loud, with everyone and everything going on, but this was a different type of loud. It wasn’t the tinkering of metal in the lab or the sounds of sparring or elevators going up and down. It was shouting. A full on shouting match that was loud enough to be heard from floors down was happening. You nearly dropped the box of donuts as you hurriedly pressed the level that you and Natasha stayed on, hoping to find her in the room and out of the fight. The ride up the elevator was almost too full of anticipation as you waited in what would have been silence, if not for the yelling.

“No, because you can’t control yourself!” The voice was now obviously Steve’s. You were shocked. You had never heard Steve so riled up, ever. It was out of character for him to be so angry at someone, even if that particular someone fucked up royally. “You did something stupid, and now you’ll own up to it. Simple.”

“I fucking can’t!” You frowned. That was without a doubt Natasha. “I can’t, not right now. So fuck off.”

“I can’t fuck off after you’ve done something like this, Romanoff.” You winced as the elevator doors opened. Steve didn’t use Natasha’s last name anymore, not since they got close. And he certainly didn’t use the f-bomb much. “This is… it’s beyond-”

“What happened?” You shoved the donuts into Sam’s waiting hands, which were open for business when he saw you coming out of the elevator. “What’s all the yelling for?”

Everyone was staring at you like you were a ghost that wasn’t supposed to show up even though they had called on you. No one had an immediate answer, and so you put your hands on your hips. “Is everything okay?”

Tony looked at Natasha with sharp eyes and took a step back, raising his palms. “On you.”

It took a second for Natasha to say anything to you, and it was clear that everyone was waiting for something. It was even more clear that everyone was equally pissed at Natasha, for whatever reason.

“Everything is just fine, princessa.” Natasha’s voice carried over to your ears, smooth as honey, even though she wasn’t looking up into your eyes. “Don’t worry.”

You didn’t really believe it. How could you? She wasn’t talking to you, she wasn’t lying with you, she wasn’t counting your heartbeats like you did with her. There was something wrong, something had to be for Steve to be yelling like that, in front of everyone else. You eyed Natasha for a few extra seconds and then took the donuts back, muttering a thanks to Sam.

“Alright.” As if seeing the box made you remember why you went out in the first place, your trademark grin was back. “I ordered my bouquet today,” you hummed, walking up to Natasha and planting a kiss on her lips. When you pulled away, you murmured the customary I love you under your breath, like you two did every time you kissed. The one who initiated the kiss would say it first, and it would be answered by a quick “always”.

“A-always. Oh?” You realized that Natasha’s voice fluttered when she said it.

“Yeah, you can’t see which one, though.” You winked at her playfully, trying to ignore the way that the others looked mildly uncomfortable. You were used to uncomfortable looks, but never from them. You knew that it wasn’t homophobia, because they were never that way. So their behavior ran deeper than that. What the fuck happened? “My dress appointment is tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

You were too busy getting a donut from the box to see the looks that everyone else shared when you spoke again. “How’s the girl who went on the mission with you? She seemed a little upset when you guys came back.”

Natasha’s hair nearly bounced with how high she shot up, her body going straight at the mention of the other girl. She looked away from your eyes for a split second, and then back. “Fine.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, eyes on Natasha. “Is she good with fashion? Maybe seeing dresses and all that would make her feel a little better.”

Natasha looked horrified as she realized what you were insinuating. “No. No, she’s fine. She doesn’t need to be invited anywhere.”

“It’s just to sit and watch me try on dresses. Wanda, Sharon, and Pepper are going, right?” You looked towards Tony to confirm, and he nodded his head firmly before looking at Natasha again, a serious look in his eyes. “Maybe Abigail can go.”

“No. She’s not going.” There was something in Natasha’s tone that sounded so final, so adamant, that you knew in your heart to just drop it. It saved you both in that moment.

That didn’t mean that you weren’t allowed to make a face of disapproval. “That’s not nice at all, Nattie. I hope you weren’t the reason she was crying. You’re known to be a little mean.”

Natasha looked away from you, taking a step back. Her eyebrow was twitching, a sign of stress that you picked up on like it was your own. “I have to go.”

“Wait, I got these for-” Natasha left in a hurry, so fast that you barely even registered that she had left. She left awkwardness in her absence. “Well, she can eat them later. Feel free to have some, guys, just save one or two for her, okay?”

They were all quiet for a few seconds, like they were in the midst of a special moment where they were all feeling the same thing, everyone in the room except for you. Finally, Wanda spoke. “Okay, Y/N.” You smiled at them, gave them all sweet hugs, and left.

§§§

You were bursting at the seams at being seen for a dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s. Wanda was with you, and so were Sharon and Pepper. They were excited for you, but no one matched your energy.

You were a girl finally getting what she had been dreaming of her whole life; to get married in a beautiful dress to the person she loved. You would soon be walking down the isle to see Natasha waiting for you, flanked by everyone else that was ever important to them.

You must have been the luckiest woman in the world.

“You’re really excited,” Sharon mused, but it was more of an observation than a statement.

“I’m so excited,” you confirmed. “I’m marrying the love of my life in what’s going to be my dream dress, I know it.” You grinned as the four of you watched people bustling around the shop. There was a bride near tears, just like on the TV episodes, and you watched fondly. Seeing people get what they wanted made you happy.

The search for the perfect dress went nothing less than perfectly. Within the first two sweeps, you managed to get into a dress that everyone thought was perfect for you, and you loved it, too. It even brought the three out of the haze that they were in, out of focus and minds so far gone that your excited squeals were all that broke them out of their thoughts.

“It’s gorgeous, Y/N.” Pepper said, her voice soft and cautious as they walked up to pay. It was silent as you waited for an attendant to come to the counter and check you out.

“I- I think there’s something you should know.” The other girls’ head whipped Pepper’s way, and she gave them a look that told them that she wasn’t going to back down from whatever she had to say.

You had what felt like a permanent grin on your face as you thought about the dress. It was a dramatic ball gown, blush pink and flowy. You were almost as in love with it as you were with Natasha, and the matching heels that you got and the gorgeous veil that matched topped it all off. You and your soon to be bridal party walked out into the crisp air, and you turned your head towards Pepper. “Sure, what is it?”

There were a few beats of silence. “Let’s go sit in the car,” Pepper insisted, and so they walked back to the car that Happy was driving for them, where he was sitting with the partition rolled down. He gave them a half assed greeting before they all piled in. “Can I start off with saying that… I’m sorry if you feel like any of us betrayed you.”

You trusted them all with your life, but that didn’t stop your heart from starting to race at the words Pepper said. Whatever this announcement was, it wasn’t good at all. “What?” When no one said anything, you laughed a little. “What, is the dress actually ugly and you didn’t say anything while we were in there? Do I need to go back?”

“No, the dress is beautiful.” The other girls nodded, and then you were sure of yourself and your taste again. “It’s just… Abigail.”

You frowned a bit, immediately thinking of the tragic scene where the girl rushed out of the quintet, breaking down by the second. “Oh, poor thing. Is she not doing as well as they say she is? I know a first big mission can be tough.”

There was a thick silence before Sharon blurted it out. “I am so, so sorry.” You leaned forward, heart skipping a few beats while Sharon took in a deep breath. You knew that some kind of blow was coming just by her apology, and you were bracing for it. “Natasha and Abigail had an affair on the mission.”

In the movies, it was like an instant shattering of the heart when news was broken like that. Immediate tears, automatic screaming and cursing and wanting to call up the other person to threaten them. There was lashing out, the breaking of glass, all the cinematic things that made actors on screen look better and less awkward when they broke down. You always thought that they were overreacting.

Now you knew that they weren’t. You felt that way on the inside. Your mind was raging like a hurricane and a tornado all at once, one disaster coming from the east and the other from the west. Your anger was the tornado, whipping around and threatening to destroy everything in your path and lash out at every single damn person in that car. But just like a tornado, you wore out and disbanded, all in your head. All that was left was the hurricane. The sadness. The disappointment. The heartbreak.

You had never even entertained the thought of how you would be after getting betrayed by her, but if you had, you probably would have imagined that the tornado would have acted first. But it didn’t. Unlike in the movies, all you did was tilt your head to the side and ask for the words to be repeated, even though you didn’t even listen for a second. You couldn’t believe it. Not Natasha. Not your Natasha. Not your angel.

“Natasha and Abigail slept with each other on multiple occasions on the mission, by word of Steve,” Sharon pointed out, her voice similar to the way a doctor sounded while delivering bad news, only a little shakier. “Abigail ran out crying because she fell in love with Natasha and knew that it would never really happen, not because she ruined the mission.”

Not only had Natasha slept with another person, but she had somehow convinced the girl that they were going to be together. Natasha didn’t have a ring, and the girl was new. There was no way she would have known that you two were together unless someone explicitly told her, and there were better things to do on a mission. It wasn’t her fault. Even if she had known, it wasn’t Abigail’s fault. Natasha Romanoff knew better. She knew a thousand times better.

“I don’t think either of them meant for it to happen,” Pepper said, immediately trying to calm you down, even though you hadn’t even spoken an angry word yet, and you looked like you weren’t even close to shouting.

The distinct sound of the partition rolling up was what brought you back to the present.

“But it did happen,” you said slowly, not even realizing that your teeth were gritted. “It happened.”

You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t want to, you wanted to believe it was a lie and calmly confront Natasha, but Steve was the one who had said it, and Steve didn’t lie. Why hadn’t he told you before?

Now that you knew what went on during the mission, you could see that everyone was acting weird. Everyone knew, there was no question about it. Which meant that everyone knew, and no one told you. They didn’t even hint toward anything, and they knew that you were supposed to be marrying the woman who went behind your back and did the unforgivable multiple times.

“We- we’re supposed to be getting married.” The pitiful sentence was all that you could string together in a thought as you looked out of the window at the traffic. You wished that the cars would just go, fly around so that you could cry by yourself. “I don’t even know what to say.” There were a million things happening in your mind at once, and trying not to cry in front of everyone was the biggest effort.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon’s voice said, and she really did sound apologetic. But it wasn’t enough in the moment. You wanted to hear Natasha say it, if all was true. But you knew it was. “We’re all sorry. We were waiting for Romanoff to own up to what she did.” Sharon said, obviously trying not to feel the wrath of you that was surely bubbling beneath the surface.

You could have been angry towards them. You knew that you felt betrayed, by everyone that knew and chose not to speak, that was a no-brainer. You could have been a lot of things at the moment, but there were bigger fish to fry. You clenched your fists and looked at the window, blinking rapidly as you grappled for composure. “Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t think you-”

“I get it. It’s alright. I just prefer not to speak right now, ‘s all.” And conversation ended. But that was when the turmoil in your head and heart started to crank up the energy.

Your first instinct was to bust in there and look for the Black Widow herself, to yell until you lost your voice. Your first instinct was to cause a scene and embarrass her as much as Natasha did to you. You couldn’t believe she had gotten everyone to lie for her. You couldn’t believe that she had an obvious affair with a new agent. You couldn’t believe that you walked around thinking that nothing was wrong while everyone else pitied you behind your back.

Unfortunately, you were quite used to not being enough. Not enough to make it into ivy leagues, not enough to make the track team, not having enough to afford to buy all of your clothes without cringing and thinking about putting some items back. But you were never going to be used to not being enough for Natasha Romanov.

The drive back was the most awkward drive that the four of them had ever been on, without question. You had tears streaming down your face but you were still as silent as the night, just like everyone else. You hardly ever cried. You were always the ray of sunshine and rationality in the tower, and now everything positive had been blown out by the darkness that Natasha created.

When everyone got out of the car, it was sluggishly. Everyone knew what was bound to happen, but it was questionable whether or not the end of the blow out was going to result in settlement or people storming and and leaving. You already knew how it would end.

The second that the elevator landed on you and Natasha’s floor, you shakily thanked the girls for their honesty and walked right out, knowing that it was probably the last time that you would ever be going up in Stark Tower. In your angry fantasy about confronting your fiancée, you imagined storming in and shouting her name, getting her attention and then breaking her down into pieces like the words did to you in the car.

But once you were in your room, you found that the fantasies were just that, and you couldn’t say a word or do a thing but find your suitcase and pack, all the fire leaving your body the second that you saw your room.

You were halfway through gathering everything that was yours in the room that you and Natasha shared, tears streaming down steadily, when you registered that it was real. Natasha had really done the unimaginable, and there was no turning back. A small sob escaped your throat when you saw the sweater you had gotten Natasha hanging up in the closet, the same one that she wore when she got down on one knee for you. Did that mean nothing, too? Was the meaning and emotion of that and everything that led up to it blown to smithereens by something as trivial as two months?

The door flung open. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t talk to me.” You blurted, turning your head to not look at Natasha, trying to avoid her blue gaze. If you looked, you had no doubts that you would turn to stone, and that you would never find the strength to leave the woman who you loved the most and hurt you the most, all within three minutes.

Natasha looked bewildered by the suitcase on the bed. “Are you- are you leaving?”

“What the hell else am I supposed to do?” The temper that was kept just below simmering in the car was finally starting to boil over. “I can’t believe you, Natasha!”

“I-” She sputtered, and you gave her a pointed look in response. “Who told you?”

The question brought fire into your veins. She knew that you knew, because she knew that it was the one secret that had the power to make you so emotional. You two kept no secrets, and for this to be the first? That was painful.

You knew that Natasha would sense your lie about who told you and who didn’t, but you told it anyway. There was no use in causing a riff between the team because they wanted to help you. “I figured it out myself. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Natasha held her hands out in front of her body, and the gesture was so similar to the way that she used to hold her hands out in a silent ask for you to hold them. You hated the way that your heart lurched, and the way that you craved the feeling of her hands even more. “It was an accident.”

An accident? A two month escapade with another woman was an accident?

“After that long ass ride home on the quinjet, you could have at least come up with a better lie.”

“Princessa-”

“I- fuck you.” Your voice cracked in the middle of the explicative, tears falling into the suitcase pitifully. It made your raging temper even worse. “Fuck you.”

“My love-”

“I don’t understand why!” You couldn’t contain the waves of emotion you felt anymore as you slammed the top of the unfinished suitcase closed. “I give you everything I have every single day. Every day. I love you with all of my heart and I do everything I can to make you happy and you give me this? I tried so hard to make sure that we were both happy together, and we were. So, why?”

The look on Natasha’s face wasn’t unfamiliar to you. You knew it well, but it had never been used on you before. It was the look of a spy who didn’t want to say a damn word, silent resistance that you knew would be unbroken. That’s when you knew that you may never know the real reason. And it broke you. “There isn’t a reason.”

You crumbled faster than you ever had before “Natasha, we were- how could you do this to me?” You collapsed into sobs, falling onto the bed and putting your face into your hands. You didn’t know how long you cried for until you felt a hand on your shoulder, very hesitant to even attempt at being comforting. You didn’t have the energy to tell her to fuck off.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha cooed, and for a second, it felt like something was right again. Natasha being gentle was a regular occurrence, a side to the famous ex assassin that only you saw. It was your biggest safety blanket in life. But when she opened her mouth again, you were brought back to why you two were even doing this in the first place. “I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

You shook your head out of anger. The fact that the lie was shitty made it worse, made it hurt more. She didn’t even want to come up with a lie that would make you stay?

“Somehow you convinced that poor girl that you were going to be with her. How did you manage to do that on accident? How did you sleep with her multiple times on accident? You lead her on emotionally.”

“No.”

“Yes.” You pushed her hand off of your shoulder. “You told her some pretty little words and she fell for them as most do, right? Like I did, I guess. Just tell me the truth.”

“I didn’t-”

You remembered the way the girl was so distraught. You remembered the amount of tears that she had. You remembered the way that she avoided looking in your eyes, the way that she looked completely heart broken. Just like how you looked. You scoffed. “She told you she loved you, didn’t she?”

Natasha’s light blue eyes were boring into yours as she was silent. For the first time in a while, there was no telling of what Natasha was thinking in your mind. You were disconnected. “Yes.”

The words hurt to get out, but you had to know the answer to them. At any cost. Even at the cost of your own heart and sanity. “And you told her the same.”

There was a thick silence that spanned across multiple frantic heartbeats. “Yes.”

The next words were automatic. “I’m done.” You opened the suitcase again. The tears were coming harder than ever, warping your voice so much that your not Natasha hardly recognized it. “Done.”

“You can’t just-”

“Yes, I can!” You whipped around, eyes nailing Natasha right in her place. “Unless you can give me a good reason for what the hell you did, I’m done.”

Excruciating silence. It struck like lightning on the last tree in a struck down forest.

You turned on your heel, but then, words bubbled up in your throat, and you couldn’t shove them down. “When you miss me after you’re done, don’t come back to me.” Your voice cracked in the middle, but you kept pushing. “When you stop and think about what we could have been, do not come and find me. Because you’ll figure it out one day, and it’ll get through that thick skull.”

Natasha’s eyes were slightly watery as she looked on, taking a few steps forward with on outstretched arm, looking to latch on to you. “Love, please.”

You scoffed and ran out of the door, with nothing but a suitcase and a bag in your hands. You cried all the way to the elevator, ignoring the fact that Wanda and Vision’s room was right there across the hall, and how they without a doubt heard everything. Hell, everyone had heard everything. The argument weren’t exactly quiet.

You cried even harder when the doors of the elevator closed. Your hands shook as you brought them up to your face, remembering far too late that Tony Stark sometimes watched the tapes, especially elevator ones. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care. You turned into yourself and sobbed as your body and head shook, trying to rid herself of everything that happened. You cried more when you realized that you hadn’t meant a word of what you said to Natasha.

Deep down, through all of the emotions, you wanted her to seek you out when she learned her lesson. You didn’t know why, and you knew that you didn’t want it any time soon, but you knew that you wanted it.

It was supposed to be a magical day. The day you got the dress was the day it all became real, the day that solidified the fact that you would be getting married to the woman that you loved. You were heart broken. The familiar sound of the elevator stopping and the doors opening barely snapped you out of your well deserved pity party.

You only took one look at the new arrival, and that was when it was decided that the universe, was indeed, very unkind.

Abigail stood there like a deer in head lights, swallowing and looking with wide eyes, certainly unsure about whether or not she should just leave or apologize and hop in and pretend like she didn’t know what was going on. She looked like she expected confrontation.

Your wobbly smile shocked her. “You don’t have to be scared. Come in.” Your voice was just as shaky as the smile you offered, stepping to the side a bit and giving the other woman enough room.

You felt bad. Abigail was young, even younger than you. There was no way that she knew. No one really resisted the charms of Natasha Romanoff, anyway, and you knew it. Especially not a wide eyed newbie who was desperate to please on her first mission with the big guys, some of the original Avengers. There was no doubt that she felt terrible based on the way that she didn’t look you in the eye, and how she avoided everyone. There was only one person in the wrong, and it wasn’t this poor girl.

The doors dinged as they reached the bottom, and right before they opened, you smiled at her. “It’s okay,” your voice was a strong whisper. “It’s not your fault.” You gave her one look as you wheeled your suitcase out of the elevator, taking long strides to reach the huge front door of the tower, praying for no more interruptions.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t want to stop at all. You knew who’s commanding voice it was, and stopping to talk didn’t seem like an option. You preferred not to talk to anyone on the team, especially not one of the people who went on the mission. You wiped your cheeks and turned around anyway. “Yes?”

Steve stood before you, a sincere expression on his face as he looked you up and down, your obvious and inevitable departure making him wince. “I’m sorry.”

There was nothing that you could really say to him. He wasn’t the point of your anger and he was a friend, even if he had kept something from you. “You’re not the one who did it.”

“I could have told you.”

“No, she should have, a long time before someone else did. You didn’t do anything wrong.” The story of infidelity that happened was Natasha’s story to tell. While you still felt a little more than bitter about being an idiot in the dark about the whole thing, you would have preferred to hear it from her, one hundred percent. “I’m just pissed I found out after buying the perfect dress and veil and all of it. I was so ready.” You felt like a fool.

“I don’t know why she-”

“I don’t know why, either.” You admitted, shaking your head slowly. “But one day, maybe I’ll figure it out.”

“You’re leaving.” Steve saw it as a closed chapter now that you were storming out. Anyone would, but you knew better. You knew how Natasha worked, you knew how you worked, but most importantly, you knew how you two worked together. “You and Natasha- you and Nat are special. I’ve never seen anything like what you two have in my life, no one has. That’s why we’re all so mad. She ruined the one relationship that everyone obviously knows is true love, for no reason.”

“I know.”

He looked guilty for even saying the words. “You’re not going to try and work it out?”

“Don’t you think that I know what we have is special?” You asked him, new tears welling up in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m leaving this to her because I trust her with it. I don’t forgive her, and maybe I never will, but this is for her to decide.”

“What makes you think that she’ll decide right? Or what she’ll even decide at all?”

“She’ll come back.” You stated with certainty, and these were the first words that hadn’t had a crack or wobble in them since you started talking to the red head. “She’ll miss me and she’ll be over the thrill of whatever happened on the mission, and she’ll find me, wherever I decide to go. She’ll come back to me, just like I would come back to her. It could take weeks or years, but she will. That’s how we work.”

Steve was momentarily stunned, but after a few short moments, you knew that you had convinced him. “And you’re willing to wait for her? However long it takes?”

You lifted your lips at him, even more tears building up in your eyes as your answer flew up to your lips without even thinking. “She’ll come and find out.”

You walked away with heavy steps, already feeling her lingering on your skin, and the haunting memories of the two of you as happy as could be swirling around in your head.

§

You were well aware that removing Natasha from your life would hurt. But you never could have anticipated how much it would hurt.

Natasha was the safety net you never knew you needed. She was the one person on earth who made you feel truly wanted, needed even. She knew everything that you required to feel loved and you knew her just the same, and you both did those things. And that’s what made you two different.

You had been cheated on before. That was how Natasha had met you, actually. Your last boyfriend had cheated on you like the dirty dog he was with nearly every woman he was cute enough to be with for a night, and Natasha met you while you were getting hammered at a bar because you found out. Natasha met you at your lowest point and raised you up with all her might, and still had energy to love you. You felt useless and discarded, thrown under the bed and tossed to the side of the road, but she found you and made you something new. She made you her favorite.

§

Natasha was everywhere.

She was in the way that you made your coffee, because you hated it before you met her, and she introduced you to a kind that you liked. You got as addicted to it as you were to her.

She was in the way that you walked around the park at night instead of in the morning like you did before you met her, because she liked looking at the stars together.

She was in the way that you searched for her next to you in your sleep and when you first woke up. She was in the ring you still had. She was in the way you wrote your letter ‘n’ now, because you wrote her notes for years and always made the ‘n’ fancy just for her. It stuck. She was somehow related to every show and every movie and every brand of ice cream, and from the second week of suffering without her, you knew that she would linger on you like a faded tattoo.

During the third week, you swore that you could smell her perfume, though it made no sense. You had done laundry many times, and all of a sudden the smell popped up, like she was dropping in to spray the perfume and then leaving as soon as she came. The rich smell was something that you would never forget, and it hung around like thick smoke in your mind. You wanted it to leave.

You cursed her name all throughout the fourth week of being alone in your small apartment in Brooklyn. Everything was her fault. The washer broke, Natasha somehow did it. If you woke up with makeup still on your face from the past night, Natasha was at fault.

You went shopping during the sixth week, and you swore you saw flashes of her red hair in the grocery line, pitifully walking faster with your cart to both flee and go towards it. A part of you knew that she would never shop this far out, but you couldn’t help it. You missed her. You missed her a lot.

But that didn’t change that it stung so, so badly.

§

It was disgustingly close to what the wedding date would have been when you were lying in bed with a stray cat that you had managed to nurse back to health and call your own about two weeks prior. In a way, it was freeing. Natasha hated animals. They were a responsibility in her mind, nothing more. You loved the cat quickly, and named him Henry.

There were three sharp knocks on the door that you would have taken for strokes of thunder if they weren’t so close. You frowned and stood up, walking to the window to peak outside and see that there was a thunderstorm rolling through, the wind higher than usual and the rain coming down sideways.

You walked to the door with the small cat trailing behind you like a loyal companion. You cracked a smile when he meowed, and you looked through the peep hole, the bright porch light shocking your eye for a second, and then you saw.

Natasha Romanoff was standing there, soaking wet with her arms hanging at her sides, trembling from the cold.

You took two steps back that startled Henry, causing him to meow louder this time. You breathed in, trying to be quiet, but you knew that she knew you were there. She was so trained that you knew she heard you approaching, and when you took your steps away from the door. You both knew each other were there.

You had indirectly told her to seek you out when she was ready, and here she was.

Were you ready?

Like you were a child trying to eavesdrop, you held your breath as you leaned into the door, putting your ear on it as you struggled to hear something, anything, from her. She wasn’t talking. You looked up into the peephole again, and she was looking at her feet, waiting for something to happen. She knew that you were deciding.

You had spent time looking for her in places you knew she would never be, running to and from things that looked like or reminded you of her, and now the real thing stood in your porch light in the rain. She came back to you.

She came back, but that didn’t erase everything that happened. Not at all. Her two months of fun and new experiences acted as the eraser, painting over everything that they had ever done in black paint. The joy of dancing with her under street lights and kissing in Tony’s limos and her hand under your sweatshirt didn’t amount to the pain it felt when she ripped herself from you.

But why did it hurt so much if they weren’t the same amount of emotion, if not more? If you looked at it with a rational mind, was the joy not worth more than the pain?

The pain weighed like bricks. There was one big brick that weighed half a ton on one scale, nearly tipping the other side.

But the joy? It weighed like clouds, because that’s what joy was. It was the feeling of being above the clouds. And you found that every moment of joy that you had Natasha, even though it was the weight of clouds, still outweighed the fat brick.

But were all of the cloud moments enough to possibly take another brick?

Your hand moved before you knew it, and you were undoing the chain and unlocking the door, yanking it open roughly and staring her down.

She was shocked. Her eyes were wide as she stared at you without any barriers, automatic tears welling up. Had she come all that way to not even know whether or not you would answer? Hell, you had done all of that while in limbo with yourself.

But now, without even knowing how Natasha truly felt, without even hearing one word from her mouth, you knew something changed.

“I knew you’d come back.”

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: Sunshine and Soil

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Triple Frontier

Ship: Francisco “Catfish” Morales & You (no kids, no y/n, established relationship)

Tags/warnings: Cunnilingus, PiV sex, squirting, kind of voyeurism, the TF boys are fucking assholes.

Summary: It's Memorial Day and Tom's having everyone over for a backyard bbq. Frankie is admiring the shit out of you all afternoon, and when evening falls... he gets something else out of you. Multiple times.

Notes: I hope that those of you who celebrate have a good Memorial Day! We don't have that where I'm from but I just enjoyed a really nice, warm weekend in my garden, so I'm in a good mood and hope you get to enjoy the same!

The sky is a clear light blue, the sun is warm and the slight, fresh breeze spreads the appetizing smells from the huge grill on the deck. Frankie leans back against the railing, basking in the sunlight that makes him feel limber and comfortable. Tom, who is hosting the bbq with his wife Molly, is flipping burgers while talking to the gathering of men around the impressive gas grill, and Frankie laughs leisurely at something he says, but then his eyes stray over the big lawn, and his mind with it.

A bunch of army guys and their families are here, about seven families altogether. Crude tables made of planks and sawbucks take almost half the space, and there are people sitting around them, eating, laughing, talking. There are two paddling pools for the small kids, and the sprinklers are on for the bigger children, who run repeatedly through the spray of water, screaming in delight. A couple of teenagers sit in a corner, trying to look like they're not enjoying themselves too much.

But everybody is enjoying themselves, and it's a good day for it. Memorial Day, of course, can be a difficult holiday for an army man, but Frankie isn’t that tormented by it. Especially not on a day like today, the first really warm day of summer, surrounded by friends, and with that special person present.

Frankie drinks from his Bud as his military-trained gaze scans the gathering, then finds what he's looking for.

You are bending down over someone’s kid, offering anyone who wishes to steal a glance a momentary view of your tits. Frankie can't stop the grin forming on his lips, and he takes another sip. God, you look good. Your hair is radiant in the sun, the summer light really brings out the color, and your skin already has a healthy tan. You’re wearing denim shorts and a white, cotton beach tunic, the fabric transparent enough to reveal a yellow bikini top underneath. You’re wearing flat, sparkly sandals and you look like a million fucking bucks.

The kid you’re with has dropped her paper plate in the grass and you’re helping her to pick up the food. Frankie admires your patience and kindness as you herd the kid to a table and help her up on the bench next to another kid, just as the mom shows up to take over. He puts down the now empty beer bottle and goes to join you.

"Hey, hot stuff," he murmurs into your ear, his hand resting for a second just above your ass. You turn a bright, happy face towards him and give him a wet kiss, smack on the lips.

"Hey yourself."

"You need anything?"

“Food!” you tell him immediately. “I’m starving.”

"Hamburger or a steak?" He sees your eyes widen a little and he knows that just the mention of a steak is enough to make you salivate.

"Jesus, I could murder a cow myself right now!"

He laughs and gestures for you to take you plate, already filled with salad, coleslaw, and baked potatoes. You go up to the deck where you pick a steak that Tom fishes up from the lattice for you, while Frankie gets you a beer from one of the coolers.

“Thanks. Although I’m more in the mood for an ice cold vodka shot right now,” you grin at him. Frankie, knowing from experience what you can be like with a little vodka in you, grins back, his eyes crinkling charmingly.

"Maybe later, when the kids are gone," he says in a low voice. "We can do body shots."

You wink and give him a kiss before going back to the table, ass moving a little extra as a treat for him. Frankie takes another beer and catches Tom's eye. Lucky bastard, his friend’s glance says, and Frankie raises his eyebrows, makes a quick, lewd gesture which has the crowd of men explode in laughter.

He later joins you by the table, where you’re busy not only eating your food but also helping any kid that needs it, talking with whoever adult happens to come by. You are in your prime. You’re a people person when you want to be; funny, kind, energetic, and helpful. He knows you'll be wrung out tomorrow, recharging after being overly social today, but right now nothing can slow you down. He watches you move in the crowd, play with children and talk to the ladies, joke with the men and, your face open and sincere, talk in a low voice with a colleague’s teenage daughter who, Frankie knows, has been having problems the past year. You are by no means altruistic, but you seem to sense other people’s unhappiness and especially when it comes to kids. You had a tough time growing up and you hate to see kids struggle.

God, he loves you. And he's so proud of you. You have come so far.

You glance up and see him looking at you. Smiling warmly, you throw him a kiss. Frankie pretends to dive to the side for it, catching it in his arms, and it makes you laugh. The girl you’re talking to smiles shyly and even without actually hearing anything from across the backyard, Frankie knows you’re lovingly telling her what a silly dumbass he is. And he is. He's such a silly dumbass for you, and he's not sorry at all, especially not on a perfect day like this.

"You two are gonna do it so hard tonight." Benny's suddenly by his side, wearing an annoying grin.

"There's kids here, man," Frankie grimaces, giving his shoulder a friendly shove. "Get out."

Laughing, Benny leaves him to join his brother, Pope, and Tom on the deck, where they get into a heated discussion about something.

He's not wrong, though. Frankie is going to do it so hard with you tonight.

///

Later, much later, when the backyard is lit up by party light strings and lanterns on every table, and the children whose parents are still at the party are safely tucked in on a sea of mattresses, pillows and blankets on Tom and Molly's livingroom floor, Frankie and you sneak off together. He leads you to the far end of the garden and press you up against the white picket fence. An old rock song plays from the speakers on the deck and the beat of the drums match the beat of your heart as Frankie covers your mouth with his. He tastes of beer and bbq sauce, and when you comb your fingers through his hair, sliding the hat off, you catch a whiff of sunlight and smoke from his unruly curls. Frankie presses his nose to your neck and gives it a little bite, tasting sweat and summer on you.

"Careful," you breathe, slightly intoxicated. "No hickeys. The guys are never going to let us forget it."

"Don't fucking care, they'll always find something to hassle us for," he grunts, grabbing your ass with both hands and caging you between the fence and him – and his growing erection. "You're mine, and they better just deal with it."

“Say that again,” you ask him, your pussy growing wet when he whispers in your ear: “You’re mine. Mine.”

There’s a utility shed in the corner of the garden and now Frankie takes you by the hand and leads you there. You swat a couple of mosquitoes away before stepping into the coolness of the shed where two small windows provide the only light that the evening offers.

“Ugh,” you wrinkle your nose, “there’s definitely spiders in here. And mice.”

“They can watch.” Frankie wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses your neck, swiping your hair to the side for better access, before closing the creaking door behind him.

The scent of blooming roses has followed you in and mixes with the grassy-oily smell of the lawnmower, but the mélange is conquered by the damp earthiness of the sacks of garden soil in one corner. That’s where Frankie directs you now, determined but mild. He devours your mouth with his and you go back to combing your fingers through his hair, pulling a little, just like you know he likes it. His tongue tangles impatiently with yours as his hands claim different parts of your body before settling on your ass cheeks and pulling you in against himself. Feeling his stiff length crammed into his pants, you slide your hands down to his belt buckle.

“Not yet,” Frankie tells you, breaking the kiss. You loop your index fingers around the belt hoops and pull him into you even though he can’t possibly get any closer.

“I want you so badly,” you whisper, your tongue darting out to lick its way between his lips. He sucks it in immediately, hands coming up to cup your cheeks and holding your face to his as he kisses you. And kisses you. And kisses you some more. You can feel your arousal bleed through your bikini bottoms, a cold wet blotch between your legs.

When he finally must give both of you a break to catch your breaths, he pulls your white tunic over your head. Your skin, previously so warm in the sun, now knots over in the coolness of the shed, and you wrap your arms around Frankie, bringing him in close to warm you. He takes a moment to hold you, hands caressing your bare back, his lips on your neck. He exhales sharply when you hide your hands underneath his t-shirt.

“Sorry,” you giggle. “I’m a little cold.”

“Gotta do something about that…” He unzips your denim shorts and slides his hands inside them, moving to cup your buttocks covered in slippery swimsuit fabric. You wiggle out of your shorts and this time, he allows you to unclasp his belt and unzip his pants, but before you can pull them down, he pushes you down onto the stack of bags of soil. He pulls down the cups of you bikini top and his mouth seeks out your breasts to lick, suck, and bite your nipples. His facial hair is raspy against the sensitive skin of your tits but you puff your chest out for more, always more. Whining when he eventually pulls back, you push yourself up to your elbows in a half-lean and he takes a moment to look at you in the dusky little space.

"Jesus fucking Christ, baby," he says, his voice suddenly soft. "You look so fucking fine." He cups your cheek gently and strokes his thumb over your lips.

"Are you just gonna stand there and look at me all night?" you smirk, and that gets him going again. He tugs your bikini bottoms down your legs, almost yanking you off the stack of soil bags in the process, and grabs you by the waist as you kick off the bottoms. Your ass clenches against the cold plastic of the sacks underneath you, but there's no time to be sensitive.

"Scoot up, baby," he tells you and kisses you with a not-really-sober hunger as he helps you adjust your position by lifting you. Perched on a waist-high pile of Premium Organic Garden Soil, you lean back, hands seeking a grip on the blank plastic of the sacks underneath you. A yelp escapes you when Frankie ducks down and lifts your legs, placing them over his shoulders. You're half laying, half sitting, your upper back crammed against the wall, and you wonder how long you'll last before something cramps up.

Frankie presses his sharp nose between your legs, inhaling deeply. He loves to do that, loves to smell you before getting to business, tease you with his warm breath, just a simple touch before he applies his mouth and tongue. You hold your breath until the first lick hits your slick folds and when it does, you relax against him, unaware that you had been tense from the start.

He finds you tasting of summer, of the things you haven't even had time for yet: sunshine, grass, cold beer, nights at the lake, early morning coffee on the patio. He wants to buy you a house someplace where there's always summer and spend the rest of his life going down on you, taste the season on you, coat his lips and chin in your earthy slick. You moan at his gentle licking, sucking, and nibbling, your calves pressing momentarily against his back before relaxing again as you melt yourself into him, against him. He tightens his muscled arms around your hips, making sure you'll stay put on your precarious perch.

His name comes out as a shout when he attacks your clit with more focus and you whimper encouragements along with the rising of the pleasure, the coming together of sensation in your bundle of nerves. He listens, tunes in to both your body and voice, and when your sounds of anticipation rise, he teases you mercilessly by abandoning your clit for long, broad strokes of his tongue along your slit. You mewl in frustration and press him against you, legs forcing him closer, your hands directing his head to you, hips bucking up. Glancing up at you, he smirks at you in a way that make you want to kick him in the face.

"Asshole," you keen, with no real vehemence.

"Beg for it, my darling." His voice is raspy and smooth at the same time. You purse your lips, letting him know you're not happy with this development, but of course you indulge in his little game. You know that he wants nothing more than to get you off, this is just him flexing.

"Please," you breathe, lowering your voice to match his. "Please make me cum. I want to cum on your fuckin mouth, baby, I want to cum so badly. And when I've cum all over your mouth, you can fuck my wet cunt. Don't you want that, baby?"

"You're so bad," he moans before doing just what you begged him to do: makes you cum. His tongue works so fast and he lets you ride his face as the intense pressure between your thighs builds up and makes it impossible for you to stay still. You claw at his head, at the sack underneath you, your spine curves, your legs jolt as you overflow with intensity, your lower lip caught between your teeth to keep you from screaming right out. Frankie doesn't stop, doesn't let you come down, he loves to overwhelm you with orgasm after orgasm until you have to push him away to get some respite. Your skin is now flushing hot, sweaty even, and the air in the shed seems concentrated and filled now also with the smell of your cunt. Finally, Frankie detaches from you with a wet smack. You shiver as he rubs his wet, bristly chin to the sensitive skin on the inside of your thigh in a feeble attempt to get rid of the worst glaze. You watch as he straightens his back with a groan, and you echo that sound of discomfort as your legs fall down to the floor. You never did get that cramp but it wasn't far away.

Frankie looks at you and licks his lips, and you can only imagine what you look like: flushed, disheveled, ravaged. You reach for his hand.

"Come 'ere," you breathe. He takes a firm hold of your hand and plaits his fingers with yours as he leans in for a kiss. Your other hand finds his neck and brings his lips crashing to yours and you taste yourself on him and it drives you crazy. You kiss him like your survival depends on it and you feel him come undone as he moans into your hungry mouth.

"Fuck me, Frankie," you ask him, your voice thick and syrupy. "I need you in me."

He lets go of you to pull his pants down with a desperation that you know all too well. His cock springs free and he grabs one of your thighs so he can position himself, get close to your hot wet mess of a pussy. Despite his obvious hurry he's gentle when he slides into you, as if he wants to savour the moment. You hold onto his shoulders and it doesn't matter that you're sopping wet and he goes slowly, it still feels like he's stretching you out beyond anything you thought was possible - not painfully so, but just completely. Frankie hisses as he sheaths himself in your craving, welcoming pussy, staying still and catching your lips with his, tasting and nipping breathlessly before he slides out almost completely, then thrusting back into you, this time with a little more force. You gasp at the impact and braze yourself with one hand behind you as he does it again, causing a tremor to run through you as you yelp. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you release your hold of his shoulders with your other hand as well and bring it behind you, leaving it to Frankie to hold onto you, which he does with his big hands on your hips, fingers spread out towards your ass cheeks. He moves slowly again, almost slipping out of you before driving himself back into you with a quick, rough snap of his hips. You throw your head back and release a throaty moan, followed by a sharper one as he lowers his mouth to your tits and catch a nipple between his teeth. Sucking hard, he snaps his hips against yours again. And again. And again. You're crying out by the time he finds a faster pace, nailing you to your plastic bed of garden soil. He clamps one hand over your mouth, not sure that the music outside will be enough to drown out the sounds you're making, but replaces it soon after with his mouth, kissing you sloppily as he directs all his focus to fucking you while also keeping you from sliding up and against the wall. You barely hear the music anymore, all you hear is his panted moans, the wet sound of your pussy sucking in his cock, and the thunderous beating of your own heart. God, he hits you so deep, so hard, so right, you're burning, you can't take it, he mustn't stop -

You barely hear the wet splash of your climax land on the plastic under you as you vocalize your release and Frankie curses right next to your ear. The squelching sound as he continues to fuck you is obscene and you dimly think something ludicrous about having to clean up Tom's shed. Giddiness bubbles in you and as Frankie slams into you and shoots you full, you're almost laughing.

"Fuck - baby - fuck!" He slams his palm to the wall for something to hold on to as his hips jerk into yours erratically, and your giggles change to whines drawn from deep within your chest. With a low, exhausted growl, Frankie rests his forehead to yours for a moment before rubbing his nose against yours.

"What are you laughing about?" he murmurs, his lips on yours.

"Mmm," you pucker your lips against his for a quick kiss, but before you've pulled yourself together enough to form actual words, a shrill catcall from just outside the shed startles you. Your head snaps up and you catch a dark shape outside the window. The whistle is followed by cheering and applause, and you feel the heat rise in your face.

Frankie curses low in Spanish as he slowly straightens up, holding you protectively and helping you down from the now cold and wet stack of sacks.

"Don't mind them," he comforts you when he notices your embarrassment. "They're just fucking with us."

He presses a kiss to your forehead.

"Are you okay?"

You love him for it, how he always checks in with you after sex. No matter how slow or rough, he will always make sure you're okay. You smile reassuringly at him in the half-dark.

"I'm perfect," you tell him with emphasis. "But soaked. And a little cold."

He brushes his fingers over your wet thighs.

"You do that so easily now," he muses with obvious satisfaction. "It's so hot."

"You know just how to do it to me," you beam, but now your teeth are starting to chatter. Frankie pulls his pants up and helps you with your clothes. He even fishes out a paper napkin from his pocket.

"Just in case."

"You are so resourceful," you praise him as you lean against the sacks and wipe off the worst of your mutual cum, before you pull on your bikini bottoms and shorts. The sacks of dirt that you earlier were so concerned about are no longer of any importance to you. The tunic has a smudge on the front and you hope it's going to come off in the wash. Shivering a little, you move into Frankie's embrace for both warmth and the empowerment you need to go out and face a bunch of smirking army guys.

"I love you," you tell him, fingers fisting into his t-shirt. His arms are a wall between you and the world.

"I love you, too. You're amazing."

You kiss the spot between his collarbones and then you're ready to step out. The first thing you see when you're out the door is Benny, holding out Frankie's hat to you, his face showing intense gratification.

"You two just won me one hundred and fifty bucks," he drawls. "I love you, guys."

[electrictoes]

Time Flies Over Us

For @dailysvu’s Sonny Carisi Week

Day 2: Off Duty 

Characters: Sonny Carisi, Amanda Rollins, Fin Tutuola, Olivia Benson, Dominick Carisi Sr, Gina Carisi, Bella Carisi, Mama Carisi, Jesse Rollins, Billie Rollins

Relationship: Amanda Rollins / Sonny Carisi 

Warnings: Gun violence

Five time Sonny Carisi's off duty time gets interrupted + one time it doesn't.

Read on AO3

1.

Sonny held his newest niece above his head, grinning as she laughed gleefully - he wasn’t quite hiding in the kitchen with his father, but he was definitely avoiding the living room where his mother and sisters were fretting over last minute wedding preparations. Sonny could have been relaxing in his own apartment, getting an early night ahead of tomorrow morning’s chaos, but his father had needed the moral support so he’d packed an overnight bag, collected his wedding suit on the drive over, and had plucked baby Grace from her mother’s arms as soon as he walked through the door.

He’d put up with thirty minutes of his sisters squabbling over how exactly Bella’s hair should be styled in the morning, before his dad had rescued him with a quick, “Hey son, give me a hand with something?”

The something turned out to be emptying the bottles of beer he had tucked away at the back of the fridge behind boxes, trays and tupperware dishes filled with food for tomorrow’s festivities - according to his dad, his mom had been cooking non-stop for almost the whole week. They’d been left to their own devices, sipping beer and passing the time with quiet conversation.

“It’ll all be over soon enough,” his dad was saying.

“Real positive, Pops,”

“You know what I mean,” his father gestured to the door,  “The fuss, the speeches. Your mother’s worryin’.”

“Ma’s never gonna stop worryin’ about Bella, Dad,” Sonny told him.

“It’s you she worries about the most, son,” he said, watching Sonny carefully as he rested Grace against his chest, her head dropping onto his shoulder sleepily, “You gotta get yourself a good woman.”

“Don’t start that again-”

They were interrupted by Gina, a frown on her face as she held out his cell phone like she was delivering a bomb, “It keeps ringin’, Sonny,” she said, exchanging his phone for Grace.

Sonny glanced down at the screen - five missed calls, two from Benson, two from Dodds, one from Rollins. He gave his father a sheepish look as he returned Rollins’ call - better than getting it in the ear from his boss about not picking up, “Hey,” he said when she answered, and she sighed down the phone.

“I know you’re with your family,” she started.

“What is it?”

“It’s bad, Carisi. Four kids,” Rollins said, the stress of the case already evident in her voice, “I told Liv you’re busy this weekend, but she wanted me to try you anyway.”

“Where do I need to be?” he asked, already grabbing his jacket and keys.

“Meet me at Bellevue?”

“Okay, okay. Tell the Lieutenant I’ll be there as soon as I can. But Rollins-”

“I already told her you’re out tomorrow,” she said, and he nodded gratefully into the phone, though she couldn’t see him.

His dad frowned at him when he hung up the phone, “Duty calls?”

“Yeah, I- I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“What? Sonny, you can’t leave!” Bella said, her arms curled around herself in the doorway.

“I’ll be back in plenty of time for the wedding,” he promised, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as he passed her, shuffling down the hallway to make it out of the house and on the road before his mother caught him sneaking off.

2.

It was Sunday afternoon, the first Sunday afternoon he’d had free in a long time, and Sonny just had a few errands to run before he could get back to his apartment, enjoy some down time for a change.

His last stop at a bodega just down the block from his apartment building was meant to be a brief one - just grab a couple of things he’d forgotten at the grocery store then head straight home. He was at the back of the store when he heard the shout - the demand for money, a scream from a woman near the cash register. He shuffled backwards, already reaching for his badge as he craned his neck down an aisle to get a better view.

Standing in front of the counter was a kid - no older than than fifteen. He had a gun pointed towards the cashier; it was shaking in his hand. He didn’t have a mask or even a ball cap covering his face - he was in plain sight of witnesses and CCTV cameras alike. This was no seasoned criminal.

But he still had a gun in his hand, and inexperienced kids with guns could pull the trigger like a startled animal at any moment. Sonny quietly edged down the aisle, making eye contact with the cashier as he lifted his badge.

The boy jabbed his arm forward, bringing the gun slightly closer to the cashier, “Hurry up. And don’t press no panic button.”

Sonny continued to move quietly forward as the cashier emptied the register, he'd almost reached the end of the aisle before the boy turned around, his eyes widening at Sonny’s proximity, at the badge in his hand. He turned fully, so that the gun was now trained on Sonny. Behind him Sonny saw the cashier reaching under the counter, and he sent up a silent prayer of hope that there was a panic button there, that back up was coming. He held his hands up as non-threateningly as possible as he stepped closer to the boy.

“I’m Detective Carisi,” he said, “NYPD. You wanna put the gun down?”

“I’ll shoot you,” the boy said, his finger moving to rest on the trigger.

Sonny was now inches away from him, an arm extended out, a hand reaching for the weapon.

The boy pressed his finger to the trigger.

It was a miracle that he missed, given how close Sonny was, even with his hand shaking there were plenty of places he could have hit Sonny, but the bullet soared over his shoulder, not even grazing him before it embedded itself in a shelving unit. The recoil startled the kid - he’d clearly never fired a gun before, and he looked around himself in panic. Sonny closed the gap between them, curling his fingers around the top of the gun and wrenching it from the boy’s hands.

The kid was shaking even more now, terror in his eyes as Sonny read him his rights.

A patrol unit arrived barely a minute later, taking control of the scene, but the peace of his Sunday afternoon had already been shattered; adrenaline coursing through him even as he gave his statement and his badge number to the patrol unit.

3.

Sonny had insisted he didn’t want a fuss - was happy to go for a drink with the squad, dinner at his mother’s house. Just another birthday, just another reminder he was getting older, his joints a little achier, his hair a little greyer. But he should’ve known giving Amanda Bella’s number would one day come back to haunt him, because his drinks with the squad had turned into a party that mixed his two worlds, and threw half of his former law school classmates into the pot as well.

He would admit he was enjoying it, though - having almost everyone that mattered the most to him in one room; drinking, laughing, enjoying each other’s company whilst making jokes at his expense.

Although someone seemed to be buying him a drink every thirty seconds, he’d barely managed to actually drink anything, which meant he was still relatively sober when the call came in. He was leaning up against the bar, Amanda at his side just a little closer than she needed to be - Gina standing opposite them with her latest boyfriend talking their ears of about investment banking, when Liv came over to them, a solemn look on her face.

“Sorry to cut this short,” she said, “But we’ve got a case.”

Sonny pushed off from the bar with a sigh, turning to pass Amanda her coat where it was lying beside his.

“Happy Birthday to you,” Amanda said with a wry smile as they shrugged on their coats.

“Told you I didn’t want a fuss,” he countered. He made his way around the bar as quickly as he could, biding goodbye to his friends and family, ignoring the choruses that he couldn’t leave his own party early.

Amanda held back as Fin and Liv left the bar, waiting for him and walking in step with him the few blocks back to the precinct. They were almost there when she stopped him with a hand on his arm, “Hey Carisi.”

“Yeah?”

“Happy Birthday,” she smiled at him and he returned it gratefully. She nodded once before stepping ahead of him, holding the precinct door open for him when they got there; fully disengaged from party mode and ready to throw themselves into whatever darkness Manhattan was bringing their way tonight.

4.

It was their first official date - after Fin’s not-wedding and the kiss he had played on repeat in his head for the last two weeks they had spent as much time together as they possibly could - he now knew the feel of Amanda’s lips on his like kissing her was his sole purpose in life, he knew the touch of her hands, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled sleepily over at him in the mornings, and it was all beyond what he had let himself imagine - but that didn’t stop him from wanting to make a fuss of her - to take her out for dinner and spoil her a bit - to spend an evening just the two of them, in a way their demanding jobs and her two rambunctious children didn’t often allow for. Sienna hadn’t blinked when they’d asked if she’d stay late on Thursday night - something in her face told him she was happy for them, even if she didn’t say it aloud.

He’d chosen Thursday because trying to schedule anything important at the weekend seemed too much like tempting fate, and so there they were, a quiet evening in a small, family run restaurant that he loved - their fingers intertwined on the table, him trying not to say anything too stupid, given how mesmerised he was by her tonight.

And then her cell phone rang; she released his hand to pull it out of her bag - concerned it might be about the girls, but Sonny’s heart sank as his own phone began to ring barely a second later - Olivia Benson coming up on his caller ID. So much for a night off.

“Hi Liv,” he said, “Everythin’ okay?”

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Liv said, and he wanted to tell her that yes, she was, but that wasn’t how these things worked, so he made a non-committal noise and listened as she told him they needed him at the precinct - that it wasn’t a case that couldn't wait until morning. He could tell from the look on Amanda’s face that she was getting a similar phone call.

They arrived at the precinct ten minutes apart - or rather, Sonny lurked outside for ten minutes after Amanda walked inside - they’d yet to disclose and their first proper date being interrupted was more than enough frustration for one night. When he walked into the bullpen everyone was gathered together, Liv updating them all on the urgent case they’d been called in for - a missing fourteen year old, a suspect in holding who needed a deal to loosen his tongue, and the mayor’s office breathing down their necks because the missing girl was the deputy mayor’s niece.

Amanda had kicked off the heels she’d been wearing earlier - tucked them under her desk and slipped on the old sneakers she kept in her locker - she hadn’t had time to change of out her red dress, though, and from the looks Kat was throwing her way, it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

He got a similar look himself when he approached them, a raised eyebrow as Kat’s gaze moved over the suit he was wearing late on a Thursday evening. Not the same suit he’d been wearing at work earlier that day, “You on a date too, Carisi?” she asked.

“Huh?” Sonny feigned ignorance, his own gaze trailing to Amanda, trying to pretend he hadn’t noticed how beautiful she looked, how much effort she’d gone to - for him.

Liv was impatient; under pressure and not willing to entertain any charades, “Kat,” she said firmly, “Focus.”

Hours later, when the girl and been found and Kat and Fin were escorting the perp to holding, Sonny leaned against Amanda’s desk, ready to head home for a few hours sleep before they had to come back here.

“You can head off, Amanda,” Liv said, walking towards them, her own bag under her arm. “Sorry to have crashed your date.”

“It’s fine,” Amanda said, not meeting Liv’s eye, “I’ll get a rain check.”

Liv looked from Amanda to Sonny and back again, “Well, maybe the two of you can salvage some of the night,” she said, turning away from them, smiling to herself.

5.

Sonny could feel the insistent buzz of his phone in the pocket of his suit jacket, but he was resolutely ignoring it; cursing himself for not having put it on airplane mode before the show started, but knowing he couldn’t pull it out now. Someone wanted to get hold of him really badly - but whoever it was would just have to wait.

He’d taken a last minute half-day to be able to sneak into the auditorium just as the show was about to start, finding Amanda on the aisle and lifting Billie into his lap so that he could claim her seat. Amanda turned to him, a surprised smile on her face, “You got away?”

“Didn’t want to miss it,” he whispered back.

When Jesse had brought home the invitation two weeks ago, Sonny had looked at his trial schedule and found his heart sinking - the Brewer trial - a CEO forcing his unwanted attentions on the high school seniors who took work experience placements at his company - was scheduled for the whole week. He couldn’t pass it off, it was too big a case, and no one was going to let him reschedule a whole trial around his goddaughter / sort-of-stepdaughter’s school talent show.

He’d made a note of the date and time just in case, and he could hardly believe his luck this morning when Buchanan had requested a recess just after 2pm - an absent witness who had yet to be located delaying the case. The judge had glanced at his watch and with a sigh ordered that court would reconvene 9am the next day. It gave Sonny just enough time to call Hadid, explain the delay, and ask if he could take the rest of the day off - all in one breath as he darted from the courthouse, mentally calculating the time it would take to drive up to Jesse’s school. Hadid had reluctantly agreed, just instructed him to keep his phone on, which he had technically done.

He slipped an arm along the back of Amanda’s chair, the other holding Billie steady on his knee as they eagerly waited for Jesse to take the stage. He’d watched her dance with an intense pride - caught the smile on her face when she noticed him and Amanda in the audience, the way she faltered her steps just for a second before rejoining her friends.

His phone continued to buzz; it had been going almost non-stop for at least 10 minutes now, and he was sure the other parents nearby had noticed, based on the looks he was getting. Once Jesse had taken her bow he slid Billie onto Amanda’s lap, “I’m gonna have to take this,” he whispered, and she nodded in understanding - it was a near miracle they’d both managed to be here at all.

There were 27 missed calls on his phone when he slipped out of the auditorium - every single one of them from his boss. “Ms Hadid,” he said when she answered his returned call, awaiting the bite in her tone.

“I told you to keep your phone on, Carisi.”

“I know, I had something I had to do-”

Hadid didn’t entertain excuses, didn’t give him an opportunity to remind her that he’d been allowed to take the half-day, just insisted he return to the DA’s office as soon as possible. New evidence that could shake the trial’s outcome. No time to waste.

He sent an apology message to Amanda before heading out to his car; he was frustrated the whole drive downtown. Some days it felt like there was always one thing after another, like he’d never catch a break whether he was on duty or not. Still, the next several hours spent reformatting trial prep after the latest bombshell were necessary if he wanted to stand a chance of winning this trial. His mind, though, was drifting continually back to Jesse, standing on that stage with a proud grin on her face.

Although both girls were long in bed by the time he got out of work, he still made a stop en route to pick up flowers to give to Jesse in the morning - and when this trial was over he’d make it up to her, take her out for an Uncle Sonny and Jesse dinner to celebrate.

& 1.

Sonny was once again hiding with his father in his parents’ kitchen the night before a wedding, only this time it was his own, and he wasn’t hiding from arguments about hair and makeup, but rather from the intensity of his sisters’ knowing looks, the baby pictures his mother had pulled out and the way she seemed constantly in the brink of tears at the idea of her baby getting married, despite the fact that her baby was comfortably into his forties now.

“I told you,” his dad was saying, sat opposite him at the same kitchen table Sonny had done his homework at for most of his childhood, each of them cradling a glass of scotch, “Your mother worries about you most of all.”

“I’m gettin’ married tomorrow,” Sonny said, “I’ve got two kids, I don’t know what it is she’s got to worry about.”

His father shrugged, taking a long sip of his scotch, “Ah, mothers and sons,” he said, “Kinda like fathers and daughters,” he added, his eyes going to Bella’s wedding portrait hanging up on the wall behind Sonny’s head. The wall was filled with pictures from every moment of the Carisi children’s lives - birthdays, graduations, weddings - although Teresa’s wedding photo had long been replaced with one of the Carisi siblings at the reception - and an empty patch his mother had already cleared for Sonny and Amanda’s wedding photo, another gap just below it ready for a photo of all the Carisi cousins she was hoping to get - Jesse and Billie included. “You’ll get it when they grow up a bit.”

They were interrupted by Gina, once again handing him his phone with a frown on her face, “You can’t run out the night before your own wedding,” she said as he took the phone.

“What harm’d it do?” he argued, though he had absolutely no intention of going back to work, “It’s not like anyone will let me, y’know, see my fiancée.”

“Dominick Carisi Jr,” his mother scolded from the doorway, “It’s bad luck, and don’t the two of you be arrangin’ a work emergency just so you can see each other. I’ll know.”

He laughed, shaking his head as he glanced down at his missed calls - all from Fin - and dialled him back, “Fin, please don’t tell me this is a work call.”

“Okay, I won’t,” Fin said.

“I’m getting married in thirteen hours,” Sonny said, “Whatever it is can wait until I get back from my honeymoon.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Fin mumbled into the phone, “I’m not about to get slaughtered by your bride-to-be. You don’t need to come in,” he added, before launching into the reason for his call - an issue with the ADA covering their cases in Carisi’s absence, a disagreement over something Fin was sure Sonny had already put in place. “I wouldn’t bother you, but I gotta get out here tonight too.”

“You better,” Sonny said, “You’re a groomsman.”

He confirmed Fin’s memory of the deal on the table, offered to call Crosby himself and put the issue to bed. “Nah, I got it,” Fin assured him. “And I’ll be at your folks’ place at 9am sharp.”

Gina reached out a hand for his phone when he hung up, but he kept his fingers wrapped around it, glancing down at the lock screen where Amanda, Jesse and Billie all had wide - ice cream covered, in the girls’ case - grins on their faces. “Nah, I’ll keep it,” he said.

Gina tugged the phone from his hands, the same way she’d taken toys from him when they were young. “No more work calls,” she said, “And Mom says you’re not allowed to call Amanda either.”

“What? I can’t even talk to her now?”

“It’ll be worth the wait, son,” his dad assured him, and he already knew that was true.

And he was right - of course - because thirteen hours later he married the love of his life, surrounded by their family, their friends, their colleagues - no interruptions, just them.

[lukealvezhimboextraordinaire]

Daphne+ simon

okay this took me way too long and i apologize! i could seem to find the right theme for them but must admit i had fun writing this one.

so here it goes, a little snippet into simon and daphne's life

As most things in Daphne’s life, it all started with a conversation with her siblings. While she didn’t exactly have many complaints regarding her life as a married woman, she had to admit that she missed the loud family at Bridgerton House. The multiple conversations going at once, the having to make sure Colin was the last one to get to the food or else no one after him would get to indulge in that dish, the ongoing antagonizing game between her youngest siblings, the yelling from across the table, the savage teasing paired with the sarcastic and always on point snarky comments coming from Francesca and Eloise’s witty remarks.

Speaking of Eloise, she was the sole culprit. Well, her and Hyacinth.

Ever since Amelia had been born she had been the centre of every conversation around the dinner table whenever the Bassets had enough energy to put on semi-decent clothes and drive all the way down to Violet’s house. Having a baby was exhausting. Daphne was slightly surprised she had never quite realized how much work babies were considering she had seen her parents go through the same four times. But Amelia was older enough for the hype to have died now and the Bridgerton brand of chaos was slowly returning to the table.

It had started innocently enough. A casual comment about how they barely saw Daphne anymore. Then someone had mentioned that she was probably too busy with the baby. And then it happened. Eloise had leaned back in her seat with a huff, shrugging one shoulder before very solemnly looking at her sister.

“Daphne is no longer fun.”

That seemed to catch everyone’s attention as all conversations died down and the room suddenly grew quiet. Eight pairs of heads turned to look at her. Daphne raised her eyes from her plate, stared at the eight pairs of wide, expectant eyes and pulled her shoulders up into a casual shrug. A dismissive wave of her hand before focusing back on her food sealed her half-decent performance at pretending to not be bothered by it.

“Hey leave Daff alone, she is busy!” Between mouthful and mouthful of food, Colin tried his best to defend his sister. He had a special bond with Daphne and had decided a long time ago that the only person allowed to tease her was, in fact, him.

“Busy being boring,” added one of the younger voices from across the table. Eloise chuckled, pleased, and high-fived the youngest of the clan.

Colin tsked his tongue. “At least she is doing something with her life!”

“I am eleven, Colin.” There was so much resignation in her voice that the room erupted in laughter.

“You are one to talk about wasting your life away,” Anthony mumbled pointedly, biting down a smile.

With an air of resignation to it, Colin let his fork fall against the wooden surface of the very old, very expensive family’s table. The action earned him a cautious look from his mother. “I have a career! I have fans!” At this point he was waving his hands in the air with indignation. “You just love to antagonize me!! Why are you not telling Benedict to go take a shower? He hasn’t showered in three days. He stinks!”

“Me and my body odor would very much like to be left out of this conversation, thank you.”

“Suspicious that you know that, Colin,” Francesca interjected, leaning on her elbows as she looked intently at him.

“Yeah, Colin. Do you keep track of our hygiene routines?” Unable to resist having a go at the easiest to rile up Bridgerton, Eloise joined in the fun.

“I bet that’s why he has so many journals....” Of course, Hyacinth had to get her revenge.

Colin’s ears turned red. He tossed his head to the side and then, in what could be described as the most immature move in men’s recent history, stuck his tongue out at his younger sisters while making funny faces.

The rest of the night went by without any other major conflicts. No one seemed to notice that Daphne had remained quiet for the rest of the evening. Or if they did, nobody dared point it out.

Simon, however, noticed.

He always paid attention to her. Even when seemingly he was entranced by some other activity, a part of him was always watching over her. Not in a creepy or possessive way, no. Just in a… in a need her around way. Daphne was his anchor. Her presence brought him a peace and calm he had never known were possible let alone imagine himself craving. She and Amelia were his whole world and it was only fair to take care of the two more important people in his life. He watched over her to make sure she was okay, to give back a bit of all she had given him.

Simon knew his wife. And knew that when she was silent for so long it could only mean a thing; something was bothering her.

“Princess.” His hand found her thigh and gave the softest of squeezes to it when she didn’t address him. Hopefully, it would make her turn to look at him. There was only so much he could do when his whole attention was supposed to be on the road.

“Huh?” Daphne seemed a little startled to hear his voice, as if she had just been shaken out of a reverie. On any other occasion, the look of bewilderment on her soft features would have made him chuckle. But the worry was starting to set at the bottom of his stomach.

“What is going on in that mind of yours?” His voice was cautious, soft, as if he was taking to a wounded animal.

Daphne pulled her shoulders up only to let them fall back into place. “Nothing.”

Simon opened his mouth to talk but Daphne beat him to it.

“Do you think we are boring?” The despair in her eyes made his stomach churn. He had to ponder it a second before giving her an answer.

“We are not boring,” he sent her a quick glance before returning to the road. “I know we have barely left the house since Amelia was born but that doesn’t make us boring.” It sounded bad even to his own ears. The groan his wife produced confirmed his suspicions. He chuckled. “Okay, maybe we are a bit boring.” She huffed and he laughed loud. Amelia protested in the back and he was reminded that his baby didn’t appreciate noise when she slept. “But we can change that, okay? Let’s go out this weekend. I’m sure your mom won’t mind keeping Lia for a couple hours.”

Daphne’s whole face lit up. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

Violet was delighted to spend some quality alone time with her first grandbaby. But it turned out Daphne and Simon were a bit more hesitant about leaving their baby with her grandmother than either of them had anticipated. As excited as Simon had been all week about the prospect of going on a date with Daphne, as soon as he woke up that morning a strange pressure had settled in his chest. And as the time to leave came closer, it became more and more suffocating. His whole world had revolved around Amelia for months. She was his last thought before falling asleep and the first thought in the morning. He had taken paternity leave under the premise that Daphne needed help but the truth was that he could not fathom being away from his baby. And now that was exactly what he was about to do; willingly spend time away from his daughter.

“I don’t want to see you before midnight,” Violet warned, practically pushing them out of the door of their very own house, Amelia secluded to her hip, happily sucking on her thumb. “Amelia and I will be fine. I raised eight babies and most of them turned out fine.”

Simon sighed. His mother in law was right. They could do this. They had to do this. They needed time for themselves.

“Be good to your grandma, eh,” he placed a sweet kiss on the top of the baby’s head, taking in her scent before moving to kiss Violet on the cheek. “Thank you so much, Violet.” With his arm wrapped around his wife’s waist, Simon watched as she said her own goodbyes to their baby before gently dragging her away when it became evident they would miss their reservation if they didn’t get going soon.

Daphne’s eyes were clouded with tears by the time they got to their car.

“She is going to be just fine,” he tried to reassure her even if he himself wasn’t very convinced.

Daphne nodded, sniffing her nose loudly. “But will we?”

Simon didn’t have an answer for that but he really hoped it was a yes.

Ten minutes into their date and they had already called Violet twice. It was funny how they had become those parents. Especially Simon, who had never cared to picture himself as a dad. Prior to Daphne the life that waited ahead of him was pretty lonely. Hedonistic, yes, but lonely. Filled with parties and luxuries but always an empty house and cold bed awaiting him once his bacchanals were over. Ever since his wife had prompted him the question of if they were bored, Simon had not been able to stop thinking about it. A few months ago no one would have dared call Simon Basset any variant of the word boring and now all he wanted to do was spend his afternoons cuddling his wife and baby on their blue couch. The long nights out, getting drunk and taking strangers back home seemed like something a different man had enjoyed. The thrill he used to feel now turned to disbelief that he had convinced himself that life was enough for him. Now, he looked forward to bath time, to nap time, to any and all those special moments he planned on sharing with his baby. Because he was going to be present in every step. He refused to be half a dad. He refused to only be there for the good, easy parts of fatherhood and let Daphne bear with the weight of raising their children. And oddly enough, he was fine with that. He was content with his life, happy, enraptured. Even if that meant having to endure being called a bore by his new found family.

They called Violet one last time before being escorted to their table. She hung on them, threatening to turn her phone off if she received one more call before they were done with dessert. They looked at each other surprised and then laughed.

“This is weird,” Daphne commented, hiding her face behind the glass of wine for a brief moment. “We are here without Amelia and I miss her but I am also having fun.” As if suddenly a thought had struck her, she froze in place, furrowed her brows and frowned. “Are we terrible parents?”

Simon laughed, shaking his head. He reached for her hand across the table and laced their fingers. “We are great parents. Great parents also enjoy some adult fun.” That mischievous expression she had come to know so well framing his features.

Daphne sighed, feeling the thrill of the unknown starting to bubble up in her stomach. “Adult fun?”

Slowly, Simon nodded, eyes burning into hers.

“Wh-what are you thinking?”

He looked around them and then leaned forward, urging her to do the same. “Do you want to do something bold?”

Daphne nodded. Simon grinned.

“On the count of three, we run.”

Her eyes grew wide with shock but a devilish grin spread across her face. She nodded, eyes shining with excitement. The wine in her veins making her bold.

“One, two...three!!!”

Simon held his hand out to her grinning like an idiot, Daphne took it with a smile so big it rivaled the sun and together they stormed off the elegant restaurant, laughing and screaming, the manager hot on their heels. They ran and ran and ran until they were sure no one was chasing them. Breathless, they took refuge in a deserted alley.

“I can’t believe we just did that!”

Adrenaline rushing down their bodies, they looked at each other for a long second before their mouths crashed one against the other in a hungry kiss.

The next morning Simon dropped by the restaurant to pay for their food. He left a very generous tip.

Nine months later, they welcomed Belinda Basset into the world.

[ad1thi]

If your still doing fic recs, could u rec any soft stevetony ones?

absolutely!! this got pretty long so ive hidden most of it under a read-more so i don’t annoy people. a couple of authors feature more than once. ive tried to avoid that as much as possible, but if an author features more than once - take that as a sign that they have rly good stuff for soft stevetony

disclaimer: don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for every author!! (a disclaimer i regrettably forgot to add to previous fic rec lists but will be adding from now on)

soda pops: @starklysteve

If anybody asks, Steve would smile and say it was very romantic. Very Tony. Because if he went into any further detail, nobody would quite believe him.

Tony, on the other hand, would laugh and say that Steve’s in love with a man in a can. So, really, it wasn’t outside the natural progression of things.

me voy pa’l pueblo: @firebrands

two times steve walks away, and one time that tony walks with him.

/ or, my very fluffy take on my bingo card prompt "farewells." steve is on vacation when he meets tony.

fill for my stony bingo prompt: farewells; also for bookworminaslump on tumblr who asked for a tourist/knowledgeable local au!

Tumblr Ficlets:  @omg-just-peachy (this is 115 chapters of stevetony being soft!!)

A collection of enough tooth-rotting fluff to last a year, all in one place.

tender offerings: @omg-just-peachy

Five times Steve carried Tony to bed.

the best thing (is that it’s happening to you and me):  @captainstarkreportingforduty

Or, five times the team saw Steve Rogers and Tony Stark in love.

Sweet On You: @miniblackraven

It’s the 1940’s and Tony is working as a Donut Doll for the Red Cross. His job is to go around to various military bases and offer comfort food and conversation to homesick soldiers. He’s come to expect a lot of things in this job, but he doesn’t expect to fall in love with Captain America, the hottest most awkward soldier Tony has ever met.

Bespectacled Avengers Society (Membership of One):  @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

Tony gets glasses. Glasses get a Tony. Steve loses his mind and walks into walls.

a flower crown for your love: @anthonyed

"There, there," Pepper cooed. "Tony likes flowers?" she said with a shred of doubt in her tone. But when Steve peered up, she's smiling her bright toothy smile. He squinted and she sighed, dropping her hand from his shoulder. "He does." she insisted. "Even more so than me."

if this was a movie: @omg-just-peachy

“One of our seniors is being generous with his time this year—by force of his own actions, but generous none the less—and he’d be happy to help you, I’m sure. Tony Stark? I’ll set something up for later this week. I think between the two of you you’ll be able to pull your average up enough to make it through to playoffs,” Coulson said, with that ever-hopeful lilt in his voice.

Or, Steve needs a calculus tutor, Tony is available, but how is Steve ever supposed to focus when he's been in love with Tony for ... his entire school life?

you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands

tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list

amore mio:  @brucewaynery

Tony has had it with Steve being dumb and reckless out in the field, he has a family to think about now, Steve promises him that he'll be with him, kingdom come.

(initially based on that one headcanon about Italian Tony yelling and gesticulating at Steve but Peter thinks he's doing some weird dance and tries to copy him, but it got very fluffy very quickly)

Lost My Mind in a Coffee Shop: @betheflame

“Boyo,” Bucky muttered to his best friend. “I swear to God that if you don’t ask that man for his number soon, I will create a Grindr profile for you and you will not like it.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I am here to finish grading, not hit on men.”

“Can you not do both?” Natasha smirked. “Nearly tenured, historical genius, feels like something you should be able to multitask.”

&&&

In which Steve is a history professor and Tony's an engineering one and Bucky owns the joint where they have their meet cute.

AU-gust Chapter 7: @iam93percentstardust 

stevetony, childhood friends AU

Right Up The Road: @gottalovev

The day at the senate committee in Washington DC wasn't supposed to end with Tony and Steve transformed into animals by a baby witch. That said, the 350 miles trek back to the compound to get help promises to be quite an adventure too!

(or the adventures of Cat!Tony and Wolf!Steve - and how to readjust when you're back to human!)

i’ll take care of you: @elcorhamletlive

“Hi.”

Steve blinks. The sound of loud thunder roars outside, but he doesn’t jolt, too focused on the image in front of him to be startled by the noise.

He has no idea what to say, and he isn’t sure if the shock is because of Tony’s absolutely sodden state – his hair glued to his forehead, his clothes dripping with water, forming a small puddle in front of Steve’s door – or because he wasn’t expecting to see Tony for at least three more days.

“Hi?” he says, a little tentative, before his brain catches up to reality. In his defense, he was getting ready to sleep when Tony knocked. He looks at what Tony is holding – a wet mess that seems to have been a flower bouquet at some point. “What are you doing here?”

The Tally System:  @betheflame

Everyone on the team knew about the tally system.

Whenever Steve would save Tony - whether from a monster or from his own stupidity - he’d say, “tag”. Whenever Tony do the same, he’d say, “your turn”. Thor thought it was adorable, Clint thought it was ridiculous, Bruce refused to register an opinion.

Natasha thought it was something she could work with.

what’s mine is yours: @robertdowneyjjr

5 times Tony stole Steve’s clothes, and 1 time Steve returned the favor.

or

For a billionaire, Tony Stark really doesn't pay for a lot of what he wears.

I like Shiny Things But I’d Marry You With Paper Rings: @betheflame

Rhodey: I just confirmed with Sam that he’s going to make sure he cooks tonight and that his entire team is briefed. I’m heading over now to strategically arrange a fuck ton of ficus trees to block them from gen pop.

Pepper: They’re not getting engaged in a prison, Jimmy.

Rhodey: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers show up to Circe on a Saturday night in May and you watch every person in that restaurant turn into someone I’d rather arrest than eat with.

****

In which Tony and Steve get engaged, but they're kind of extra about it, because they are always themselves

the road to the stars: @shell-heads

Tony is seven years old when he sees the ballet for the first time and meets his future pas de deux partner.

His father is invited to sweet-talk politicians into a new weapons deal and explain his latest idea for their program, and his mom goes to catch up with old friends she hasn't seen in years, but Tony goes because his mom had smiled down at him and told him he would love it.

His mom's never wrong.

-

In which boy genius Tony Stark meets girl wonder Natasha Romanoff at the ballet, and they fit their broken little pieces together to make something beautiful on the dance floor.

Steve? He's just a dumb, awful, chaotic, extremely supportive older brother that really should just shut up and admit he likes Tony a lot more than he pretends, because Natasha only has five people in the world she likes; it only makes sense her two favorites would fall in love with one another.

They always were a little slow, though.

A Second Chance To Take it Slow: @omg-just-peachy

Tony loves his adopted son, Peter, but that doesn't stop him from wishing he had someone to do this whole parenting thing with. After a failed one night stand, Tony's parent-teacher conference with Mr. Rogers comes with quite the surprise.

Wake Up!: @randomstufffromotherblogs

Tony came home from a business trip and is woken up by his husband and their three-year old.

pull me closer to love:  @captainstakreportingforduty (part of a series)

“A Mother’s Day card? For... Tony?” Steve clarifies, and can’t help the smile on his face as six familiar little heads nod in response.

“But... guys, Tony’s not—“ he pauses and takes a breath, any explanation dying in his throat against the excited gleam in everyone’s eyes. “Why do you guys want to do that, hmm?"

compromises:  @robertpattisons (when i looked up OP on tumblr, this is the blog i was directed to - but i sincerely apologise if ive gotten it wrong)

Steve should have expected it, he really should have.

There were regulations that came with dating Tony Stark. Things that were clear and things that they needed to work through.

Things like how Steve always got strawberry ice cream, while Tony got rocky road. Or when Steve needed to get his homework done before he was down to make out - even though Tony always got his way.

Things like that were clear

all that you are is all that i’ll ever need: @natasharxmanov

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers announced their engagement on Good Morning America through Tony Stark’s previous secretary now CEO, Pepper Potts. And over this past weekend, I got the chance to sit down with them both, to visit their home and attend their gala, all to write this article about the most powerful couple in the world.

(Or, the fic in which Tony and Steve get married.)

(i won’t ever) trade my mistakes: @brucewaynery

Toddler Peter, painting a masterpiece with his dad.

aka: a dumb amount of family fluff to help you power through the week

[fatiguing-thoughts]

“Natural” - Chapter 5 - Embry Call x Reader

Bonfire

“(Y/N)!” Seth says excitedly from the log he was sitting on, jumping up to come over. 

“Hey Seth.” I smile, hugging him as Embry took the cookies from my hand. 

“Welcome back. We all missed you, especially Embry.” He elbows me in the side jokingly. 

“You’re all Embry thought about, all the time.” Paul teases, nudging Embry before running further down the beach. 

I look at Embry with a questioning look.

“We can hear each other’s thoughts in wolf form.” Jacob whispers to me. 

I look at him, nodding in surprise, mouthing a “wow.” 

“I missed you all. I’m so happy to be back.” I look around, seeing Leah sitting on the log. 

“Hey, Leah. How are you?” I ask. 

“Well, you know. Dealing with all these jackasses. The usual.” She smirks. 

“Fair. Let’s hang out soon and catch up. I’m sure you need a girl’s day soon.” I smile. 

“That could be fun, they drive me mad.” She nods, giving a soft smile. 

Jacob looks at me surprised, flashing me a set of worried eyes. 

I return the look with one of questioning, I’ve always been cool with Leah. She was great. Something to ask about later, noted. 

Embry opens the container and begins taking cookies, then the rest of them devoured the cookies quicker than I thought possible. Embry himself put seven away before I finished my first one. 

“Easy there, killer.” I joke. 

From what I recognize to be Emily walks over with a tray of sandwiches and s’mores stuff, earning the hands from everyone grabbing something off the tray. 

A tall man walks closely behind her, I assume this to be Sam. 

“You must be (Y/N), I’m Sam.” He walks over, smiling at me and reaching his hand out for me to shake. 

“Hi Sam, nice to meet you.” I smile back. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet the girl that my pack speaks so fondly of.” 

“Likewise, they all speak very highly of you.” 

My mind suddenly raced back to a little over a year ago. 

“(Y/N), I don’t want to be next. I don’t understand what happened to Embry… to Jake. I’m so scared.” 

“Quil, I don’t understand. What’s going on?” 

“Jake and Embry won’t talk to me anymore, they’re different.” His voice cracks over the phone.

I too noticed the difference in Jacob and Embry, less phone calls. Less texts. Less video chatting. But overall I still heard from them regularly. I don’t know why they would abandon Quil. 

“What, where did all this come from?” 

“Sam. Sam Uley.” His shaky voice speaks through the phone.

And suddenly it all made sense. It made sense why soon after that conversation, they seemed to resolve their issues-- without any further explanation to me. 

I snap back to reality as Sam let go of my hand and I was met with a welcoming hug from Emily. 

I hugged her back, feeling her sweet and caring nature through the embrace. 

We pull apart and I’m met with the feeling of Embry’s hand on my lower back, lighting my senses on fire. 

The sun was starting to set, so Jacob and Embry took over lighting the fire. 

I took the opportunity to sit and talk with Leah, 

“So, how’s La Push been treating you?” I ask. 

“It’s been better. It’s been pretty tough.” She gives me a sad smile. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I am. I’m really sorry for everything you’ve been going through.” Both of us turn our attention to Emily and Sam. 

“Thanks. Everyone else seems to get annoyed by it.” She scoffs. 

“What?” I turn to her with wide eyes, filled with shock.

She looks at me, disappointed in her face.

“Apparently it’s annoying that I’m mad about it because Sam can’t control it.” She shrugs, Seth sitting next to her placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“It doesn’t matter if he can’t control it. Of course you’re mad-- you’re upset. You have every right to be. Is it Jacob?” I ask. 

“Thanks, (Y/N). It’s nice to have someone rational around here. Of course it’s Jacob.” She scoffs.

“What a hypocrite.” I huff. 

“Exactly.” 

“I’m sorry, Leah. I can talk to him if you want, remind him he’s not far from your position at all.” I look over at Jacob, who can clearly hear me, eyeing me from the side. 

“It’s fine, he can hear you now. He knows what you think.” She smirks. 

“Well, now you have another girl here. It’s been a while since we talked but I hope we can be good friends.” I smile at her. 

She nods, smiling a bit. Leah cared and I knew it. Though she was a woman of few words, her feelings were apparent in her actions, I knew she enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed hers. She was fun, but knew when to calm it down. She knew what she wanted, she knew her worth. Leah was stronger than most, I can’t imagine seeing someone I thought I would marry one day drop all feelings for me and end up proposing to my cousin. Let alone to have to see him every day, following his orders, and to have that mind link. 

The more I thought, the more I thought about how she needs a friend. I felt for her. She deserved better, and I would help her find better. 

Embry soon joined us, sitting on my other side and wrapping his arm around me. 

“Hey guys.” He smiles.

“Hey.” Leah mumbles, in her slightly sour mood. 

“Hey, Emrby.” Seth smiles. 

“Does Sunday work? We can get food or something? Or hang out at my house? Give you a break from all this?” I offer. 

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.” She smiles. 

“Can I co-” Embry and Seth begin. 

“Nope. Sorry.” I smile. 

Embry pouts and Seth looks a bit disappointed, but I saw Leah’s appreciation in her eyes. 

“We can all do something another day. Leah needs a break from testosterone. Em, you and I will be together the rest of the weekend, don’t forget.” I smile at him. 

“You’re right.” He kissed my temple. 

“Okay, it’s time for them to talk.” He whispers in my ear. 

The elders sat around, explaining the legends from the beginning. 

The story about the third wife was one that stuck with me since I was a child. What a courageous woman. It’s crazy to hear all of these stories again, now knowing that they were no longer legends-- but real history. I was mesmerized by Billy’s words just as much as I was over a decade ago. 

Soon after, we returned to the light banter and roasting of marshmallows.  

“So how was Texas, (Y/N)?” Seth asks excitedly. 

“I hated it. I really did.” I laugh. 

“Dang, I’m sorry. At least you’re back, though.” He smiles at me. 

“I know, I’m so happy to be back with everyone.” I smile. 

Embry pulls me closer into his side. 

“I’m so happy to hold you again, I’m so happy you’re back.” He whispers into my ear, sending shivers up my spine. 

I turn around and press a kiss to his cheek, smiling like an idiot as I pull away. 

“Yuck!” Quil comes over, beginning to wrestle with Embry. 

“Damn it, Quil.” Embry says, falling into the sand behind him. 

I heard them rustling, Embry quickly overpowering Quil as they continued. 

I look down at them, shaking my head and laughing to myself. 

“My money’s on Quil.” I heard a voice belonging to none other than Jake.

“Oh, you’re on. Five bucks Quil taps out.” I scoff.

“You got it, chief.” He laughs. 

“Em, don’t mess this up. I got money on this.” I chuckle. 

“So, you and Leah are gonna be buddies?” He laughs. 

“Listen, you guys are more alike than you think. Stop being a dick to her.” I scold. 

“I’m not being a dick, I just don’t know what else to say. Try having your own pent up anger plus that in your mind almost every day.” He shakes his head. 

“She can say the same thing, but she doesn’t. Just try to have some compassion.” I reason.

“Alright Dr. Phil, I’ll work on it.” He laughs. 

“Ow! Jesus Embry chill!” We hear Quil exclaim from behind us. 

“Hand it over, Jake.” I put my hand out as Jake pulls a five out of his pocket, handing it over. 

“Damn it, Quil.” He mumbles. 

I laugh as Embry joins my side once again, behaving kind of like a magnet. 

The elders left the beach, off to do their own thing. Soon Sam and Emily followed. Leaving Embry, Jake, Paul, Jared, Quil, Leah, Seth and myself left at the beach.  

“What should we do now, guys?” Seth asked. 

“We can play games at my house.” I offer. “That sounds like fun.” Seth beams. 

Everyone nods in agreement and we head back to my house in Forks. 

I drove with my usual group, allowing everyone else to follow me back to my house. 

I open my door and see my dad sitting on the couch, watching TV. 

“Hey, dad.” I smile. 

“What’s up, (Y/N)? Hello Embry, Quil, and Jake.” He smiles.

“The rest of them are coming, too. Game night.” I smile at him.

“Oh, cool. I haven’t seen everyone in a while. I’ll say hi but I’m gonna head to bed, I have work in the morning. Try not to be too loud.” 

“Okay, you got it.” 

“So, Embry.” My dad begins, walking over to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and leading him into the kitchen. 

“Great.” I sigh, looking at Embry as he turns his head, eyes about to pop out of his skull.

Jacob and Quil look at me, eyes also widening and stifling their laughs. 

I heard the rest of everyone talking outside the door, I swung it open to let them in. 

“Hey, (Y/N)!” A chorus of voices ring through my ears. 

“Hey, come on in. Take a seat.” I nod over to the couches behind me.

They all shuffle in, sitting around my living room. Jake turns the TV on and I grab the board games from my room, bringing them downstairs. 

“Is he still in there?” I ask Quil.

“Yeah, it’s going well.” He laughs at me. 

“Oh I forgot you can hear, fill me in.” I laugh. 

“We can all hear.” Jared reminds me, smiling. 

I shake my head, realizing how much of this I would have to get used to. 

“Well, what game should we play?” Leah asks. 

“I wish we could do monopoly, there’s just too many of us.” I shrug. 

“We can do teams.” Seth offers up. 

“That could work, it just might get intense.” I warn, smiling at the thought. 

Embry walks back into the living room, my father walks up the stairs after bidding us all a goodnight. 

“Welcome back.” I smile awkwardly. 

His eyes never broke mine, seemingly of excitement but also nervousness. 

“How was it?” I ask.

“It went well. Normal dad things, I think. We caught up on life, then he told me about how he feels about this happening.” He spoke lowly to me, trying to give the illusion of privacy. 

Thankfully, everyone else talked amongst themselves, also being considerate to my feelings.

“What did he say about it?” I whisper. 

“That he’s happy it’s me, he’s happy about it. Still gave me the stereotypical dad rundown though, even though he and I both know I don’t need it.” He smiled, kissing my temple once again.

“That’s great.” I smile, leaning into his side. 

We split up the teams and prepared for blood. 

Jared chose Paul, a dangerous combo. Leah and Seth paired up, Jake and Quil, leaving Embry and I as the last team. To say this was a competitive bunch was an understatement. There was a lot of discussion, a lot of yelling and frustration, cheating accusations, and cheating attempts. After about two hours, Leah won after building on every property she could, destroying everyone in her path.

“Ha.” She smirks. “Unreal.” Paul scoffs. 

Everyone had their little disagreements, but thankfully no blood spilled. It was a great time.

At about midnight, we decided to call it a night. 

I walk everyone out, but Embry stays behind once again as Paul’s phone began to ring. 

“Hello?” He answers on the front porch. 

“Why is Emily calling so late?” Jared asks. 

“We’re coming.” Paul speaks into the phone, serious tone quickly taking over. 

“What’s up?” Jared asks. 

“Sam picked up on something, you and I are patrolling with him.” He nods at Jared.

“I’ll come, too.” Jacob decides. 

“You guys are taking over later.” Paul looks at Seth and Leah. 

“Embry, be ready. You’ll join them at 4 if we still don’t get anything or need your help.” Paul looks at him. 

“Okay.” He looks Paul in the eye, nodding in agreement. 

I look up at everyone, seeing how quickly things can change for them. 

And then it hit me, that meant there was a vampire running around. 

Fear instilled in my body, freezing me in my tracks. 

“Don’t worry, bean. Nothing’s gonna happen to you.” Embry noticed my discomfort, trying to help me feel better. 

“But I don’t want any of you to get hurt.” I say meekly.

“(Y/N), don’t worry. We got this, it’s what we’re made to do.” Jacob nudges me. 

“Nothing’s gonna happen to us. Nothing’s gonna happen to you. You gotta see us in action one day.” Paul smiles. 

“No, she doesn’t.” Embry says quickly. 

“I mean, I feel in the dark. I kinda wanna see what goes on. Maybe not in action but...” I trail off. 

“Maybe.” Embry looks down at me. 

“Good luck.” I say to Paul and Jared before they took off into the woods. 

Everyone parts ways, but Embry follows me up into my room until it’s his turn to patrol.

I lay in my bed, patting the spot next to me. Embry walks over and lays in the spot next to me, pulling me into his chest. 

“Bean?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, right?” 

“Of course. I know.” I inhale his scent, feeling serenity take over.

“I won’t let anyone touch you. Ever. I’m gonna be perfectly safe, we work as a pack. We’re much faster, stronger, and most vampires don’t know that we even exist. I want you to know, you’re safe.” He kisses my forehead. 

“You do make me feel safe, Embry.” I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck. 

“Your heart is still racing.” He chuckles. 

“I know, I still feel safe with you… I just worry about you. I need to know you’re safe. This feeling goes both ways.” My words barely above a whisper. 

“I’ll show you, we can handle ourselves. Don’t worry about us.” 

“I love you, Embry.”

“I love you, too (Y/N). Try to sleep tonight. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep, and tomorrow I’ll check on you, or you can check on me.” He chuckles softly. 

I nod into his chest. 

His warm hands held me, one rubbed circles in my back and the other ran fingers through my hair. His warmth radiated, making me fall into a deep slumber. 

__________________________

Word Count: 2559

 I  II  III  IV  V  VI  VII  VIII  VIIII  X  XIR XIE  XII  XIII  XIV  XV XVI  XVII  XVIII  XIIII

[milo-my-beloved]

chapter four of stupid things!

Read on AO3 // Playlist // Buy me a coffee?

Sorry this chapter is so late! I've had a lot of difficulties... but I hope you enjoy it!

On Monday, Inej wakes up to over a hundred messages. Groaning, she turns over and considers suffocating herself in her pillow, before forcing herself to unlock her phone.

You have been added to a new group chat.

99+ new messages.

Jesper: Sup bitches

Wylan: Hello! :D

Jesper: I thought we could use this to organise date nights

Kaz: It’s my turn to choose.

Jesper: ik dumbass

Kaz: Meet outside the library at 6pm on Friday. I’ll organise transport.

Jesper: doesn’t sound sketchy at all

Wylan: Is there anything we need to bring???

Kaz: Wear fancy clothes.

Jesper: are we gonna rob a bank?

Kaz: If we were, I wouldn’t bring you.

Jesper: rude

Inej scrolls past the rest of the messages, ignoring the endless bickering. Her finger hovers over the mute chat button as she imagines the headache that her dear friends are about to cause her, but locks her phone instead, sitting up. Surely they can’t be that bad? Besides, she would hate to miss out on anything.

{o0o}

By Wednesday, Inej is massively regretting that decision. Even she didn’t think Jesper is capable of starting that many arguments, and his incessant flirting with Wylan is going to be the death of her.

On Thursday, she runs into Kaz on her way home from class and they grab a coffee together. They find a bench tucked out of the way of any foot traffic and chat for a while, but Kaz refuses to tell her what his plans are for this weekend.

“God,” Inej says, leaning back in the seat. “Is Jesper addicted to his phone? I swear, I’ve never seen anyone send that many messages.”

Kaz raises an eyebrow. “Are you surprised?”

She shrugs, tipping the last of her latte in her mouth. “I shouldn’t be, I suppose.”

“What have they even been talking about?” he asks, taking their empty cups and tossing them in the bin beside him. “I muted the chat about an hour after Jes made it.”

Inej blinks a few times, staring out into the fields coated in mist as she reevaluates her life choices. Why did the universe decide that these would be her friends?

She groans, dramatically flopping sideways onto Kaz. “I should have done that days ago.”

{o0o}

When Friday finally rolls around, their evening plans are still a mystery to everyone but Kaz. No matter what schemes they had come up with, Kaz had refused to tell. Wylan had asked him politely, claiming the not-knowing is bad for his anxiety (which is probably true, actually) and Inej had even offered him a bribe, to no avail.

(Jesper had just pestered him over text. Inej doesn’t have the heart to tell him that Kaz has blocked his number.)

The three of them look ridiculous, standing outside the library in their fanciest clothes. Wylan is wearing a plain black suit, his bow tie slightly askew, while Jesper is wearing a colourful suit jacket and black jeans. A few students give them weird looks, but most of them are too busy with their own lives to give more than a few seconds thought towards them.

When a limo pulls up instead of Kaz’s shady minivan, Jesper’s mouth falls open. Kaz pushes the door open, sticking his head out. “Are you coming, or what? And Jesper, shut your mouth.”

Jesper and Wylan clamber in first, Inej gracefully sliding in after them. She self-consciously runs a hand down her dress, the purple silk soft against her palms.

“You look beautiful,” Kaz whispers while Jesper and Wylan are distracted by a bottle of champagne waiting for them, and she blushes.

“So do you,” she replies, smiling at his entirely black suit. Apart from their day at the beach, she’s never seen him out of a suit, but she can see why he wears them.

“Hey, Kaz,” Jesper interrupts, pouring the champagne into four glasses. “Will you tell us where we’re going yet?”

“Nope,” he replies with a smug smile.

“How did you afford all this?” Wylan asks, looking around at the luxurious. “Did you actually rob that bank? Without us?”

Kaz rolls his eyes, and Inej stifles a laugh.

“You’re not far off, Mr Van Sunshine,” Jesper laughs, sticking his tongue out at Kaz. “He’s always been secretly rich, but no one knows where it comes from.”

“His terrifying glare?” Wylan suggests.

“His suits?” Inej offers.

“I think it’s his sparkling personality,” Jesper answers with a wink.

“Oh, shut up,” Kaz mutters, just as the car comes to a stop.

No one moves for a moment, until Kaz rolls his eyes and climbs out first, muttering something to himself. He extends a hand to help Inej out, but he leaves Jesper and Wylan to fend for themselves as he leans over and gives the driver some instructions.

“Just in here,” he says, ushering them all towards a shady looking door. Jesper and Inej share an incredulous look, and Wylan looks like he is itching to run in the opposite direction of whatever this is.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kaz grumbles, opening the door to reveal a dark corridor. “It’s the back entrance. Someone owed me a favour.”

There’s another blank silence where no one moves.

“I swear no one is going to get murdered and no crimes are going to be committed. Good enough for you?”

Inej can’t help but smirk at how nervous Jesper looks. Usually, he’s up for anything, but he keeps shifting his weight and staring into the long, dark corridor. Wylan, beside him, looks close to passing out.

“Oh, come on guys,” Inej says, stepping (with only a split second of hesitation) towards the doorway, her voice filled with false confidence. “I’m not having you ruin my hot date.”

Kaz doesn’t smile, but his eyes sparkle with that mischief she has come to love. In return, she gives him a glare that roughly translates as ‘I better not get stabbed, I like this dress without the blood stains, thank you.”

Begrudgingly, they all follow her inside, the metal door clanging shut behind them and shrouding them in darkness.

Now her eyes are adjusting, Inej can see a small gleam of light coming from around the corner, so she follows that, praying that she won’t trip over something or walk into a wall.

“This has to be the third sketchiest thing you’ve ever made me do,” Jesper mutters at the back of the group, and Inej hears Kaz snort in response.

“What were the other two?” Wylan whispers nervously, but no one answers him.

Inej comes to an abrupt halt when she reaches the end of the hallway, her mouth dropping open. Kaz must have been telling the truth about the back entrance, because standing in front of them is the most glamorous restaurant she has ever laid eyes on. Inej doesn’t think she has seen so much luxury in one place before; it looks like something straight out of a fairytale or a magazine, the huge chandelier above them dazzling her.

A waiter arrives quickly, shaking hands with Kaz. “Right this way, my friends,” he says, ushering them over to a booth away from the bustle of the kitchen and the other diners. “Here are your menus,” he continues, handing them out, “and I will return in a few moments for your drinks orders.”

“Thanks, Rotty,” Kaz answers, oblivious to the three wide-eyed stares he is getting from around the table.

Somehow, it reminds Inej of the night where she first met Kaz. Hopefully this time they won’t have to worry about getting arrested.

“What’s everyone having?” Kaz asks, and Inej realises he’s ignoring them on purpose. “I hear their duck is excellent.”

“I’ve never been to a super fancy restaurant before!” Jesper exclaims in a whisper shout. “I don’t know what half this stuff says.”

“Uh,” Wylan says, looking at his menu like it personally offended him. “I’m not that hungry…”

Kaz rolls his eyes. “How about I order for everyone, hm? Unless you have any objections, Inej?”

She shakes her head, her mind still swimming as she tries to figure out how Kaz managed to book a table in such a lavish restaurant. Maybe Jesper is onto something with the whole bank robbing thing, she muses.

Sure enough, Kaz orders for them all with no hesitation. When Jesper starts awkwardly shuffling in his seat, he adds, “Dinner’s on me, by the way. It’s only fair, after all.”

Everyone stares at him for a minute, floundering for something to say. Suddenly, Inej starts laughing, leaning her head forward onto the table as she tries to stifle her giggles and ends up hiccupping instead. Wylan joins in with a nervous chuckle, but Kaz and Jesper just stare at her, amused.

“‘Nej, you okay?” Jesper asks eventually as Kaz pats her back in what he hopes is a soothing motion.

“Yeah,” she manages to gasp out, trying to take some deep breaths. “Sorry, it’s just-” She bursts out laughing again as another table looks away, distaste written all over their faces. “It’s just so surreal.”

Luckily, the food arrives before she can embarrass herself any further.

Kaz must secretly be some kind of psychic, because there is no way he somehow knows exactly what Inej’s taste in food is. Whatever he’s picked out for her - some kind of posh pasta, she thinks - is maybe the most delicious food she has ever eaten, and if she wasn’t in public, she would be making all sorts of inappropriate noises as she eats it.

“Mmm,” Jesper moans, clearly not having the same reservations. “I think I can die happy now.”

Kaz rolls his eyes again, but Inej can see the smile peeking out from behind his fork.

Clearly, his food magic is also working on Jesper and Wylan, because they look equally happy with their choices. She has never seen Jes inhale a plate of food so fast, and he usually eats quite quickly. Wylan looks like he’s considering making out with the sauce left on his plate, and Inej decides that if she dropped dead right now, she wouldn’t even be mad.

“I can’t take you people anywhere,” Kaz complains, his eyes twinkling with the light of the chandelier. Inej laughs as Jesper pouts, and the waiter reappears to take their plates away.

{o0o}

“So,” Jesper says in the limo on the way back to the library. “Who has the best taste?”

“Me, clearly,” Kaz answers without hesitation. “You all like what I ordered for you, didn’t you?”

“No, silly.” Jesper whacks him lightly on the arm. “Who organised the best double date?”

Wylan actually raises his hand before speaking. “I liked bowling.”

Inej crosses her arms. “Of course you did. Was it the actual activity, or the fact Jesper was practically grinding-”

“Woah, ‘Nej, let’s not scar the poor boy,” Jesper cuts in, blushing almost as much as his boyfriend. “My favourite was dinner, actually.”

“I liked the game night,” Kaz states, “But I’m sure you’ll all accuse me of being biased.”

“Beach was best,” Inej declares, leaning sideways into Kaz. “So, who wins? It’s just a four way tie, isn’t it?”

“Well,” Jesper exclaims, “We can’t have that.”

There’s no sound but the noise of the traffic outside for a minute or two, and then Jesper jumps like he’s been electrocuted. He smiles, but Inej sees the mischief in his smug grin and immediately senses danger.

“Rematch?” he offers, and she sighs.

tag list below! ask to be added or removed :D

@hrtbreakprincess / @tooindecisivetopickaurl / @kazcoded / @saltyfortunes

[prophecy-is-inevitable]

Day of the Dead

Xavier x Fem Reader

Halloween had always been Xavier’s favorite holiday, and it’s not the same without him this year. After a child in a cemetery shares some words of wisdom with you, you decide to pay your final respects at Camp Redwood.

Warnings: Angst, Grief/Mourning a Loved One, Fluff, Smut, Soft!Ghost Xavier (Let me know if you’d like me to add anything!)

Word Count: 3344

Here is the Xavier “Halloween” Oneshot! I thought it would be good to at least mention the other holiday celebrated this weekend, and who better to do that with than our favorite pastel-wearing ghost! The incorporation of the Day of the Dead into this story is meant with respect and acknowledgement to those who celebrate. ¡Feliz Día de los Muertos!

--------

It had been hard to believe, even with all of the news coverage and the funeral. It was all the people of LA could talk about all summer long. The beach waves hardly drowned out the murmurs of sunbathers and surfers recalling the latest articles or how they’re pretty sure they’d had an aerobics class with Montana Duke as one point. It made you sick. A man was in a coma. One of your acquaintances was in prison. People had died--your friends...your loved one. 

You still couldn’t accept that Xavier was gone. When he had told you he was going to Camp Redwood to work as a counselor with his friends, you had kissed him goodbye and told him to have fun. If you had known that the only time you would see him again would be in his casket, you would have said more. You would have told him that he was the only one you wanted to spend your days and nights with. You would have told him that you loved him. 

Los Angeles was a place that offered so many possibilities and so many options. The both of you had agreed to keep your options open, even as you found yourselves falling back into one another when things didn’t quite work out with said options. This summer trip with his friends would be a good chance for him to unwind and take a break from the city and maybe meet someone new. He’d invited you, of course, but he knew as well as you did that the summer job wouldn’t cover your rent, and you had a decent job in the city. Again, maybe if you had known how much you would miss seeing those frosted tips walking through your door or the sassy sway of his hips when he came to wrap his arms around you in the kitchen, you would have gone. Maybe you could have saved him if you had been there. Maybe he could have lived instead of you.

Xavier was always stronger than you. He had a smile that could light up the room and make those around him beam in return. Everyone wanted to be him or be with him. He had a confidence and charisma in the way he carried himself and treated those around him that you couldn’t help but admire. Even if his beautiful steel eyes found their way to others, they always managed to come back to you. To be fair, your own eyes often appreciated others, as did your hands and lips. Subconsciously, you always found yourself comparing the taste of another’s kiss or the feeling of their lips on yours to the pillowy soft caresses or passionate captive embraces of Xavier’s.

Halloween made it even harder. Xav had always, always loved Halloween. He’d thoroughly enjoyed the ability to find a costume and dress up and take on a character for a night. As an aspiring actor, it was good practice and something he was passionate about. It hurt you deeply to know that he could no longer take part in the things he loved the most. Without him, these things were just painful reminders of how empty your life felt now. 

You didn’t bother dressing up this year. Some of the day you simply spent by his grave, placing tiny pumpkins as decorations or telling him your happiest memories from years prior.

“Do you remember a couple years ago, Xav? When we tried to carve pumpkins and forgot to get those special little serrated knives to make it easier? You tried to use a butter knife, because you were afraid you’d cut yourself with anything else. The knife was so dull it hardly cut through the damn thing and ended up pushing it off the table.” You laughed softly at the memory even as tears trickled down your cheeks. “It exploded all over the floor and we were finding seeds under things in the kitchen for weeks.”

Many Mexican families had come to the LA area in hopes of better prospects, and you watched as many of them trickled into the cemetery throughout the day with arms full of flowers and food and photographs of loved ones in celebration of Día de los Muertos. You watched, enraptured, as a family situated themselves a couple graves over from you and began decorating the tombstone in candles and flowers. Their child caught you staring and smiled. Their tiny hands placed a large loaf of bread in the center of the altar they had created before they joined you.

“You look sad.” You couldn’t help but smile softly at the child’s innocent observation.

“Yes. I miss someone very much. He meant a lot to me.” Your hand reached out to graze the top of Xavier’s tombstone. He’d had no family, or at least no family that you knew of, and his other friends had shared his fate. The child smiled at you brightly and that confused you. They seemed to notice your confusion and they tilted their head.

“You don’t need to be sad. As long as you remember them, their spirit will live on and be happy in the afterlife,” they explained. Large tears brimmed in your eyes and a tightness took hold of your throat. “If we don’t forget our loved ones, they can always come back to us.” You blinked up at them, surprised at the way their words comforted you as you sat in the damp cemetery grass. They darted back over to their family for a moment, and then returned to you with something in their hands. It was a small sugar skull. You placed it carefully at the center of Xavier’s gravemarker and admired the bright blue details of the eyes and yellow swirls around the crown of the skull. Xav would have appreciated the resemblance.

The next day, you decided to visit Camp Redwood and say your final goodbyes. Maybe it would help you get some closure or feel momentarily closer to Xavier if you saw the last place he had been alive. Seeing the wooden sign gave you goosebumps, and you stopped your car before crossing beneath it. Were you ready for this? You swallowed thickly and eased down the gas pedal to drive towards the camp. 

Everything looked...so normal. It looked exactly like you would expect a summer camp to look during the fall. There were leaves and needles everywhere, and the smell of damp earth and trees filled the air. A morbid part of you was expecting something awful, something that gave away the terrible events that happened here. You got out of the car once you reached the main area of the campgrounds where you could see the cabins. It was getting hard to breathe.

Several minutes passed before you mustered up the courage to actually open the door and get out. There was a strange silence in the air that even the birds didn’t want to break. It was still and peaceful, and it made the hair at the base of your neck stand up. Upon reaching one of the picnic tables, you pulled a small framed photo of Xavier from your purse. You propped it up and smiled softly at the goofy grin on his face. He’d gone for headshots not long before his trip to the camp, and you remembered him telling you how hard it was for him not to smile. The photographer had liked the picture so much that they had printed it anyway. You loved the look of excitement on his handsomely sculpted face. There was a small tea candle in your purse that you placed with the picture and watched the flame dance on the glass of the frame.

“I’m so sorry, Xavier. I miss you so much.” You crossed your arms on the top of the picnic table and rested your head on them as you wept. “I should have been here with you. Or at least told you what you meant to me.” You sniffled and choked a quiet sob. You’d never said the words out loud, and they lodged painfully in your throat when you tried to express them to the empty air. “I love you, Xavier.” But it was too little too late.

“You...love me?’ a voice asked quietly behind you. Your head instantly shot up from your arms. You were hearing things. Slowly, you turned around, and your mouth dropped open at the man standing there. You were on your feet instantly, nearly tripping over the bench of the table to do so, and you took a step towards him.

“Xavier? But you...you died. I was at your funeral… How..?” The shock had your heart hammering in your chest, and you found it hard to catch your breath. A sad smile crossed the plump lips that you had missed so much, and he shrugged as if what he said was the most casual thing in the world.

“Yeah. I’m dead, babe. I know.” Slow steps brought him to you as if he were approaching an injured animal preparing to bolt into the wilderness. “But did you mean what you said? That you love me?” Your mouth opened and closed without knowing exactly how to respond. What was happening?! His hand came up to stroke your cheek, and a shuddering breath pulled from your lungs at the familiar warmth. It felt so real. You instantly covered his hand with your own as more tears streaked your cheeks. “Please. Say it again.”

“I love you, Xavier.” In that moment, you didn’t care how it had happened or what was happening. This was your Xavier and you had a second chance. You were not going to let it slip away. “I love you so much.” Both of your hands reached up and cupped his face, your thumbs stroking his high cheekbones, and he did the same to you. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears at your words, and his body tensed like a spring prepared to snap.

“I love you, too.” Xavier leaned in and captured your lips desperately in his. You didn’t want to breathe for fear of having to break the kiss. You were afraid that if you opened your eyes there would be only air in front of you again. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Xavier was there, perfect tears trailing straight down his cheeks. Your thumb brushed them away as you stared at him in both joy and disbelief. Of course you wanted to ask how it was possible, but questions could come later.

Xavier grabbed your hand and led you quickly to one of the cabins that still contained fully dressed beds. In a few short moments, they were the only things dressed in the room. Xavier pulled your shirt off with frantic movements as if he was afraid you would disappear. Once your skin was exposed, however, he immediately slowed. He dropped feathery kisses over your chest and stomach, paying careful attention to your bare breasts before journeying downward. You clutched at his shirt and tugged it over his head so your hands could trace the smooth planes of his muscled back and upper shoulders. Your head tipped back as he ran his tongue from your navel to the waistband of your pants. 

“Please, Xav,” you moaned, one hand sliding into his perfectly sculpted hair. His wide, baby blue eyes gazed up at you with pupils blown wide by desire. You knew your eyes must have looked the same. Your breath hitched when he slowly rolled down the tops of your pants, taking your panties with them, and he placed sweet kisses down the entire length of your leg. Occasionally, he flicked his tongue across the skin before moving further down. He removed your shoes and socks so he could follow with the rest of your clothes, repeating the trail with his lips as he had on the precious leg. “Xavier…”

“I know, baby. Don’t worry--I’m going to take care of you.” Xavier stood up again to press another kiss to your lips. You followed when he attempted to pull back, not entirely ready for it to end. He chuckled against your lips and teased his tongue along your cupid’s bow. You were all too happy to allow him entry, and you groaned when you could finally taste him on your tongue again. He walked you back to one of the beds until you were forced to sit on the end. He kissed his way back up from your ankles to your lips, and you quivered beneath him.

Xavier was already throbbing in his shorts, and he tipped his head back with a groan when you began to palm him. His breath ghosted over your cheek as he looked down at you, seeming to take in every feature of your face.

“You are so beautiful, and I am such a fucking idiot for not making you mine every single day.” He dove in for another kiss that drew a whimper from your throat.

“I’ve always been yours. Always have and always will.” The tender exchange left you both eager to prove yourself to the other, and your fingers hooked into his shorts to help shuck them off. The tip of his cock immediately pressed to your entrance, but Xavier held back to make sure you were ready. A few lazy rolls of his hips coated his length in your wetness and assured him that you needed no further preparation. Neither of you would last long at this rate.

The unified groan reached every corner of the cabin as Xavier sank into you, his head dropping to your chest. You stroked his hair, one hand tracing shapes over his back, and whispered loving words while he panted against your skin. If only you could have stayed like this forever. This was how it was meant to be. He began moving with languid thrusts, savoring the feel of your tight heat clenching around him with each re-entry. Xavier curved his body over your own to seek as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. 

“I’ve missed you so much. You feel so fucking good,” he panted and steadily began to increase his pace. Your legs dangled over his hips, and you ran your feet lovingly along his calves while sucking his earlobe between your teeth. He cried out softly, thrusting sharply into you in surprise, and you reciprocated his pleasured shout. The old wooden bed creaked beneath you with each thrust Xavier made deeper into you. The gentle touches of his hands along your sides and the worshipping kisses he left on the arms around his neck made you quiver around him. You were so close. The pace increased when you voiced your impending climax to your lover. His forehead was slick with sweat, and you could tell he was holding back.

“I’m so close, Xav. Come with me, please,” you begged, arching your back off the bed to feel his cock push farther into your warmth. He moaned loudly through his teeth, twitching inside of you from the words you spoke and the physical signs of you clenching around him sporadically. You moaned his name over and over, kissing the sensitive spot on his neck just below the cross earring he always wore. His hips rocked into yours and you angled your hips to meet his thrusts each time. A few more well-timed thrusts into your g-spot had you careening over the edge of a blissful orgasm. The clutching of your core around him as Xavier chased his own end left him shouting out his pleasure in the form of your name, and his warm seed quickly filled you.

“I love you…”

“I love you, too.”

The two of you remained that way for several minutes, too sated to want to move or lose the contact with each other. Eventually, you ended up laying on your sides to face each other. Your fingers danced along his toned arms, and he drew shapes and patterns over your hip as he held you close. Xavier explained everything to you, or as much as he could at least. You still didn’t quite understand it. All you knew was that you had been able to see the man you loved one more time and be in his arms.

“You’ll have to go soon,” he sighed. You frowned and cupped his cheek.

“What do you mean? Why?”

“We aren’t the only ones here--Me, Montana, and the guys. There are others, and I can’t let them hurt you.” 

“I don’t care, Xavier. I want to be with you.” He quickly shook his head and held your wrist to remove your hand from his cheek. You could see the pain on his beautiful face in the way he squeezed his eyes shut.

“No. No, I won’t let you die. Not here, and not because of me.” 

It seemed that time was passing all quickly, the sun beginning to set through the tall redwoods the camp was named for. Xavier hadn’t stopped touching you the entire time, with one exception, and you were grateful for it. The only time his hands weren’t on you was when he jogged over to the table to grab his picture and handed it back for you “to remember him by”. You stopped beside your car and he cupped your face in his large hands. 

“Promise me you won’t come back here.” The whisper made you shiver. You searched his eyes and tried to fight the burning in your sinuses. This truly was your final goodbye. His throat bobbed as he swallowed down his own emotions. You nodded reluctantly, and the relief from Xavier is palpable. His hold on you loosened slightly until he brought you in for one more kiss. It lasted longer than the others, your hands slipping into his hair and his thumbs removing the tears from your cheeks once more, and you take in everything he is in that moment. The warmth of his hands on you, around you, the pressure and gentle massaging motions of his lips on yours, the scent of his cologne and hair gel. Everything you would never have again and never be able to forget.

You were driving down the road before you knew it, and you stopped just outside Camp Redwood grounds. Xavier was standing just inside the sign when you leaned out the window to look back. It took everything you had to simply blow him a kiss and continue down the road towards the highway. Your only consolation was that the last words the two of you spoke to each other were the three words you had always wished you could say. 

Static came over the radio between one of the valleys, and you slammed your palm against the piece of junk. Between the mix of untuned stations and noise, you barely made out a few words:

“A child born of human and spirit will usher in the end of times.”

You groaned at the usual AM station interference and decided to turn it off until you got closer to the city. There was no room in your mind for music right now anyway. All thoughts were of Xavier and hours you had spent together. Had what the children in the cemetery said been true? Was it your remembrance of Xavier part of the reason he remained here? He seemed trapped, and that was not what you wanted, but you knew you would never be able to forget him.

At the end of July 1985, you gave birth to a beautiful blond child. He has his father’s gemstone eyes that sparkled with wonder and mischief. The angelic curls atop his head were what you knew Xavier’s looked like when eased up on the blow-dryer and products. Now there would always be a part of your lost love with you. You named the child Michael, and you loved him more than life itself.

You could not have been happier. The Day of the Dead had left you with a new reason for living.

[hopeshoodie]

Rarepair Sunday- Hopeisol

Headcanons

The actual power couple we deserved. The both came into the game with opposing strategies- Hope thought it was important to be cordial with everyone and play the social game, Marisol came in prepared to be extremely competitive and selfish. 

But throughout the game, they gradually adopt each other strategies unknowingly (as Marisol burns through partners she’s only tethered by her platonic relationships with MC and Noah, and Hope reverts to being territorial and selfish because MC/Priya sabotaged her relationship and didn’t have the decency to not gamify it). Marisol approaches Hope towards the end, after she breaks up with Graham for flirting with MC, to thank her for the advice. “You were right, the only thing keeping me sane is the friendships. It was dumb to actively TRY and sabotage friendships with the girls for the sake of gameplay.” And Hope starts silently crying because she feels like she hasn’t had the luxury of that. 

They hug, Marisol leans in for a kiss, Hope hesitates, then Marisol pulls away and starts apologizing profusely for ‘misreading the situation’. Hope shushes her by kissing her back, and it gets heated.

When they pull away Hope laughs lightly and admits “that hardly helps my inability to build friendships.” Marisol grins and kisses her again, deeply. They get a little handsy, but it doesn’t go much further.

Neither of them talk about it after. Marisol starts dating Elisa, and gets really involved in the toxicity of that relationship. Hope finishes the game with Noah. 

Both relationships don’t survive the real world for more than three months. Hope finds her mind periodically drifting back to Marisol…

After sending a text, they meet up for brunch and the rest is history. For some reason being out of the villa erases a lot of their awkwardness- now they’re just best friends. They ramble about politics with each other, have most of the same values, and consume the same kind of media. Hope invites Marisol on a work trip to somewhere in South America, and they become more than friends.

Best. Dressed. Couple. Ever. Neither of them keep active social media, but what does get posted to instagram is absolute fire. Marisol has that really classic, monotone, sleek fashion taste and Hope has the really elegant style with bright contrasting colors and sharp silhouettes. They are… Stunning.

A lot of LITG couples struggle with the day to day. Hope and Noah struggled with this- they were totally fine when they were doing grand gestures or being intensely affectionate, but then when little hiccups came up or the daily minutiae of making food/going about their daily life set in they couldn’t keep the same affectionate energy. Hope and Marisol do not have that problem what so ever. While they can be super affectionate, that part of their relationship is a bit more lacking whilst they get along really well on all the little details.

Their dynamic is like highschool lovers because neither of them have had such an emotionally important sapphic relationship before. They’re absolutely infatuated with one another and feel like it’s them against the world. There’s a ‘we’re building our empire’ vibe. But equally explosive is their arguments- Marisol is passive aggressive and Hope is SO reactive. Their disagreements, though few and far between, end in screaming and sobbing in separate rooms. They definitely break up a few times, then Hope will bring flowers and beg to get back together or Marisol will awkwardly show up and pretend that nothing ever happened. They mellow out with age and consistency in the relationship, but the first few years are super intense. 

Love is Hope making an effort to plan out vacations/events for them then insisting Marisol follow through and come. Love is Marisol encouraging Hope to find a WOC therapist and talk about anger management and insecurity with her. Love is Hope holding Marisol accountable for making selfish mistakes and insisting, calmly and firmly, that she needs to apologize and make amends. Love is Marisol finding little jokes that make Hope laugh and then peppering them around her world, forcing Hope to admit that she loves the ducks of the month. 

No kids, no attachments to their hometowns, two large corporate incomes- they live their absolute best life. Travelling and fashion are the big investments for them. I don’t think either of them really feels a need for home ownership, so they periodically upgrade just for the hell of it and enjoy condo/apartment living. 

Almost every day they visit each other’s office for lunch. It’s not a consistent ‘at noon my wife comes’ because it changes with their workflow. But even if it’s a busy day, Hope will visit and sneak Marisol a coffee during a 5 minute break, or Marisol will show up and they’ll eat lunch in Hope’s office with the door firmly closed and the blinds drawn. They’re not overly affectionate in public though- Marisol is a fan of kissing Hope’s wrist and the back of her hand, and Hope loves to run her hands through Marisol’s hair and hold the back of her neck. 

Light nsfw but they definitely come into their own sexually through each other. Neither of them has a lot of experience with women, and I think if they were with someone who was experienced it would be a process of embarrassment and discomfort. But because they’re both learning together, the power dynamic is a lot more balanced and they don’t enforce strict roles onto themselves. 

They adopt a really crotechedy, mean old cat and constantly joke that he’s the man of the house. He’s an asshole, but they’d both die for him (and they both just want some other presence to be in the home, even if they don’t interact with him outside of sitting in the same room). 

While they’re still friendly with the other contestants, they’re much closer to their non-Love Island friends, and are generally more isolated than other characters. They’ll show up to the 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year reunion, but not much more than that. Neither of them were close enough to keep tabs on or reach out to other islanders. Maybe Noah reaches out years down the road and he reconciles with Hope, but neither of them feel the need to keep in touch. 

They are SO supportive of each other’s projects and careers. They both intently listen to the other ramble about their workdays, have a deep understanding of what the other’s position and role is, and want the other to be challenged. Marisol often jokes (and honestly it’s kind of true) that if Hope was sick she could fill in, and a couple of times when ranting about a negotiation Hope has suggested a tactic that ended up working. 

When Marisol’s dad is struggling with alzheimers, Hope is honestly more attentive to him and the situation than Marisol can bring herself to be. Hope visits him at least three times a week, takes charge of all the arrangements, and encourages Marisol to visit him on ‘good days’ while quietly discouraging her from visiting on bad days. 

They’re the best aunties to Hope’s brother’s kids. Hope and Marisol 100% spoil them, and are happy to watch them for a weekend, but are always relieved when they go home and the house is quiet again. 

As they age, they both get a lot more philanthropic than they were. I can see Marisol retiring and accepting a role on some kind of board or nonprofit. Hope will work for as long as she possibly can (and considering she works in corporate, that’s a lot longer than you’d expect). They both struggle with retirement, and how to provide structure to a day when they can’t work like they used to.

Hope really struggles with losing the mobility and strength that she’s used to having. Not being able to do things that she ‘should be able to’ brings her to the point of a breakdown multiple times. Marisol struggles to know what to do, outside of laying a sympathetic hand on Hope’s forearm and nodding sadly. They still travel a lot, but it’s more confined to tours and cruises than it used to. Admitting that her health/bodily abilities make an annual trip unfeasible is the hardest thing Hope ever does.

And despite how Hope’s health is the first to start wavering, Marisol has similar problems to her dad. Far too soon. Maybe a year after Hope admits they need to opt out of another trip abroad, Marisol starts to turn sharply downhill. Hope can pretend it’s fine, that Marisol hasn’t been blankly sitting on the couch for 9 hours or forgetting basic information or getting lost in the middle of stories. But then the wandering starts, and the fear and confusion at not recognizing where she is. Admitting Marisol needs more care than their condo can provide, that SHE can provide, absolutely shatters Hope. They both move into an assisted living home, because Hope can’t bear to leave Marisol alone.

The worst days are when Marisol outright doesn’t remember her. There wasn’t anyone in her life early on who looks like Hope, so there’s no one for Hope to ‘pretend to be’ like a sister or aunt. Marisol will just assume Hope’s a nurse on these days. Being brushed aside and dismissed is better than not seeing Marisol at all. 

But the good days are so lovely. Gentle. Soft. Both of them feel whole.

Marisol passes before Hope does, and Hope doesn’t have it in her to move out of the home and be on her own again.

[maybeimamuppet]

I think I wanna marry you

hello friends!! this is a request fill for Aubrey_Plaza_Stole_HappiestSeason on ao3.

also, in a previous work, I said cady's middle name was Allison just because I liked the way it sounded, but I was browsing Erika henningsen's instagram and found that she calls her cady Jane as in Jane Goodall, and I like that much better. so, its Jane now. enjoy!

-

“Damian!” Janis calls from the bedroom she shares with Cady in their New York apartment.

“What?!” He calls back.

“Is Caddy home?” She asks loudly, wondering why one of them didn’t just go to the other.

“No!”

“Then come here!”

He comes strolling in casually with a bagel, chewing a mouthful. “Wha’ you wan’?”

“Finish chewing, I don’t want you to choke,” Janis demands, knowing him well. He listens, thankfully, swallowing his bite and coming to sit next to her on the bed.

“Okay, what is it?”

“I want to propose to Caddy,” Janis rushes out. Exactly as she expected, he sucks in a large gasp, dropping his bagel to press a hand over his heart. “Can you help me?”

“Yes!” He says excitedly. “Oh my god, finally!”

“Finally? We’re twenty-two, dude,” Janis says, confused. She’d thought they were a bit young to be thinking of marriage.

“Literally everyone in our friend group expected you to get engaged before we started college and elope,” Damian responds, leveling her with a single look.

“We’d only been dating for, like, four and a half months by the time you and I left, what the hell kind of toxic relationship did you think we have?!” Janis demands.

“You two were absolutely revoltingly in love, you would’ve done it and found a way to make it work. I’m just glad you’ve calmed down a little,” Damian jokes.

“Hm,” Janis huffs, thinking. They had gotten into things pretty quickly in high school. Their temporary long distance relationship had actually done them a lot of favors. “Anyway, can you help me?”

“Yes, of course! How do you want to do it?” He asks, lying down on his tummy and taking another bite of his bagel.

“I was thinking when we go home for Christmas? Like, on Christmas Eve, maybe. I wanted to take her to some fancy ‘holiday’ dinner and then take her on a walk to the clearing by that pond where we had our first date, and propose there?” She says quickly. She’s planned it for a while, but she still wants to make sure it doesn’t sound dumb.

“Aww,” Damian coos. “That sounds great, she’ll love it. What do you want me to do?”

“Help me pick a ring, first of all. And then, since you’re coming back to Illinois with us, help me decorate the place with, like, candles and pretty lights and stuff?” Janis asks, looking to him for approval again.

“Done. You wanna go shopping now?” He asks, shoving the rest of his bagel in his mouth.

“Um... yeah, why not? I’ll be ready in a minute,” She says, pushing him to the door.

————-

Little did Janis know, Cady was across town with Regina, Gretchen, and Karen coming up with a proposal plan of her own. She’d asked them out on a coffee get-together, trying to bribe them into helping her plan everything.

“Hey, Cady!” Gretchen calls from across the café where she’s standing, flanked by her girlfriends. Cady stands to hug them, she’s been so busy working on her PhD that she hasn’t been able to see them much lately.

“Hi! I ordered for all of us, we’re over here,” she says, leading them to a table in the far corner.

“It’s so good to see you, it’s been forever,” Regina says, sitting across from her with Karen, and Gretchen next to Cady.

“Yeah, I’ve missed you guys! My schoolwork is kicking my ass lately,” Cady huffs. “How have you been?”

“Good! We got an axolotl!” Karen says excitedly.

“Aww! I love those, but we can’t have any pets at all in our apartment,” Cady says sadly. “What did you name it?”

“Louboutin,” Gretchen says with a happy smile. “Gina wants to give him a sibling named Gucci.”

“Aww. I wanna come meet him soon,” Cady says.

“Oh, absolutely! We’ll have a girls night soon once our schoolwork eases up a little,” Regina says happily. “What about you, how have you been?”

“Oh, you know. About as good as a PhD student can be,” Cady says with a chuckle. “But really, I’ve been fine. Um, I actually wanted to ask a favor of you guys.”

“Ooh, ulterior motive! What do you need?” Gretchen asks excitedly, still hungry for gossip like she was in high school.

“I want to propose to Janis,” Cady says quickly. All three girls squeal loudly and wrap her in a hug, Regina and Karen leaning over the table and nearly spilling their drinks.

“When?” Karen asks excitedly once they’ve sat back down.

“Where?” Regina adds.

“I was thinking Christmas Eve when we all go back home? Our first date was in this beautiful clearing in the woods by that pond, I was going to do it there,” Cady says quietly.

“Aww,” the three of them coo in the same tone at the same time. It’s frightening how in sync they are, sometimes.

“So what do you need us for?” Karen asks.

“I was hoping you guys could help me pick a ring, and set up the area once the day comes? If you can,” Cady asks. “And Regina, could you take photos? Like, hidden somewhere? I can pay you for them.”

“Yes I can, and no you will not. You’re my best friend, you get free pictures,” Regina says, shaking with excitement.

“You don’t have to do that, Gina,” Cady says, feeling guilty now.

“Cady, honey, I’m still rich. I don’t need your money. Think of it as a favor for me, I need more practice with photographing people anyway.”

“Okay,” Cady says. “Anyway, are you guys free next weekend to go ring shopping?”

“Yes,” all of them say together again.

“Okay then,” Cady giggles. “What have you guys been up to?”

————-

On November first, Regina is sitting on the sofa in her apartment, reading through some emails for work and sipping her favorite peppermint tea. She decides to take a break when her phone pings with a text; her back is starting to bother her anyway.

She stands up to stretch as she checks it, trying not to be too surprised when she finds it’s from Janis.

snarkisian: hey reggie are u going home for christmas ??

notreginald: Yes, why?

snarkisian: are u busy on christmas eve ??

notreginald: Depends on what time. What do you need?

snarkisian: i’m gonna propose to caddy that night and i was wondering if you’d take some pics of it

snarkisian: i’ll pay u for them obviously

Regina sucks in a gasp. They’re planning on proposing on the same night?

notreginald: Aww, congratulations! I’ll see if I’m free, where and when are you planning on doing it? And you don’t have to pay me.

snarkisian: the clearing in the woods where we had our first date, around nightfall. i’m gonna take her to a fake christmas dinner first tho

So, they have exactly the same proposal plan. How cute.

notreginald: Let me check my calendar. I should be free.

She lied, she needs to talk to Damian immediately.

georgewashington: HUBBARD WE HAVE A SITUATION

damecupboard: What happened who do I need to kill

georgewashington: What? Nobody. But Janis and Cady want to propose to each other on the same night and in the same place.

damecupboard: HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLT SHIT

georgewashington: Holt.

damecupboard: Bitch leave me alone

damecupboard: They have the exact same proposal plan??

georgewashington: Exactly the same, except Janis wants to take Cady to dinner first. Cady asked us to help get the area set up beforehand a while ago and asked me to take their engagement pics.

georgewashington: And Janis just texted me asking to take pictures for HER proposal.

damecupboard: Shit

damecupboard: They probably both want the same setup, we could work together and then stick you in a bush or smth

georgewashington: Works for me, other than the bush. I’ll text you later to find out what we need to order. Love you 📷

damecupboard: Bye Reggie!!

She switches back to her text thread with Janis.

notreginald: I’m totally free in the evening that day, so it should work out.

snarkisian: tits! are u sure i can’t pay u??

notreginald: I don’t want your money, Jan. Just spell correctly for once in your life.

snarkisian: noh

notreginald: Figures.

————-

About a week later, Janis and Cady are having their weekly date night. Every Saturday they make a commitment to go on a date. Sometimes they go out for dinner, sometimes they go see a movie, and other times they just go for a walk around the city and chat, catching up on the events of the week.

Tonight, they decide to do one of their favorite things: stay home. Damian has an evening audition and won’t be home until late, so they have the apartment to themselves.

They order in some Indian food, deciding not to cook this time since they’re both exhausted from the week. It’s peaceful, eating their dinner sitting across from each other on the floor, using the coffee table as a dinner table. They chat about how Janis’ work has been, what paintings she’s been doing in her off time, how Cady’s schoolwork is going, little things like that.

Cady cuddles in on top of Janis as they watch a movie, falling asleep slightly as Janis plays with her hair. It’s only about seven in the evening, but she’s so tired and Janis is so warm.

She about jumps out of her skin when Janis’ phone goes off. Their usual rule is no phones on date night, but they both are waiting on some important information so made an exception for tonight. Janis checks the message, her eyes going wide when she sees what it is.

“Cads, I’m really sorry, I have to go,” She says frantically, Cady frowning at her as she’s removed from her embrace.

“Go where? It’s late,” Cady pouts. Janis has never left date night before.

“Um... a work thing,” Janis says. “Emergency. I shouldn’t be more than an hour. Maybe hour and a half.”

It’s clearly a lie, Janis teaches art and tutors English down at their local middle school. None of her students would have an emergency this late on a Saturday night.

“Janis, you’re a teacher, what emergency could possibly happen this late at night? On a weekend?” Cady asks, rubbing her eyes.

“Uhm... not that work, something happened to one of my commissions down at the studio. I have to go check on it.” Janis says, proud of how quickly she came up with that.

“Oh. Okay,” Cady responds, still eyeing her suspiciously. “Be safe.”

“I will. I have my pepper spray,” Janis says, coming to kiss her goodbye quickly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And with that, Cady is left alone. She decides to clean up after their dinner, throwing the containers away and washing the dishes they used. She’s deep in thought as she scrubs away at a plate.

She definitely lied to me, she wouldn’t even look me in the eye. And she spent forever picking that studio because she wanted somewhere good, if something happened to one of her works someone would have known how to fix it.

So where could she have gone? On date night? What was so important? Did she get invited to do something else? With someone else? Maybe I’ve gotten boring. I can’t be very interesting to talk to, all I’ve got going on is school.

That thought makes her pause. Janis couldn’t be sick of her. Could she? Cady takes a deep breath, switching to grab a towel to dry the dishes. She’s been down this road before, she knows she shouldn’t jump to conclusions. But maybe she’ll take time to gather some more evidence first before telling Janis how she’s feeling. That’s probably not a terrible idea.

-

Janis rushes to the subway station near their apartment, even more on edge than she normally is in public. She’d gotten a text notification that the ring she and Damian had chosen was ready, and wants to go check since she’ll be busy making Thanksgiving preparations soon. The shop closes in an hour and is about forty-five minutes away, so she has to hurry.

The shopkeeper looks a little startled when she throws the door open and dashes in, so Janis pauses for a second to make sure she doesn’t look like a robber. She smooths her hair and clothes and heads up to the counter at a much slower pace.

“Um, hi, sorry. I got a text that an engagement ring I ordered is ready?” She says gently.

The employee looks relieved upon realizing Janis isn’t crazy, sighing quietly. “Oh, that’s perfectly understandable. What’s the name for the order?”

“Sarkisian,” Janis responds, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.

The employee heads into a back room, returning after a second with a small velvet box. “Here you are.”

Janis opens the box, gasping gently at what she sees. She’d seen it to pick the style, obviously, but something about seeing it in Cady’s size and presented in the fancy box makes it so much more real.

She’d stolen one of Cady’s less fancy rings  to get her size, and when she compares them it’s a perfect match. “This is perfect, thank you so much.”

“Not a problem, ma’am. Best of luck with the proposal.”

This guy is disgustingly polite, she thinks as she heads for the door. “Thank you!” She calls over her shoulder just before she reaches the door.

Once she’s left, she pulls out her phone to text Damian.

janjan: hey i just picked up the ring

janjan: can we meet somewhere so i can give it to u? caddy will be sus if i immediately go to hide something when i get home

damdam: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damdam: Yeah I just finished my audition. I’ll be at that noodle place we like, meet me there

janjan: 📷

It’s about a block and a half away from where she is, so she sort of power-walks her way over. She’s still panting slightly by the time she reaches him.

“Lemme see,” Damian demands as soon as he sees her. Janis pulls the box out of her pocket, flipping the lid open to show him. “Oh, Jan, it’s so pretty.”

“Do you think Caddy’ll like it?” Janis asks, shutting it again and handing it over. She’s a little nervous about letting it out of her sight, but she honestly trusts him with it more than herself.

“Of course, Janjan. You picked it for a reason, she’ll love it,” Damian says as he puts it safely in his coat pocket.

“It’d better be worth it. I feel bad, I left in the middle of date night,” Janis says nervously.

Damian pats her shoulder comfortingly. “She’ll understand, Jan. Eventually.”

“I hope so,” Janis mumbles. “Dame?” She asks after a beat.

“Hmm?”

“Why didn’t we just meet at the station?”

“I want noodles.”

————-

They decide to have Thanksgiving with all three of their families together, since everyone was coming to them instead of the other way around. For New York, their apartment is fairly large, but it’s still quite cramped with everyone present.

Janis can cook well enough, but she had recently dropped an entire watermelon on the floor and was subsequently banned from helping prepare any of the meal. She’s in charge of keeping everything presentable while Damian entertains.

So, Cady is preparing the meal with her own mother, as well as Janis’. Ms. Hubbard and Damian both offered to help as well, but their little kitchen isn’t big enough for any more people. Cady is left alone with Ms. Sarkisian as her own mother heads to the restroom, deciding to ask the million dollar question now.

“Ms. Juliette, can I ask you something?” Cady asks. Janis’ mother had insisted on Cady calling her by her first name, but she never quite managed it. Her compromise is still using the title in front of her name. It suits them both well enough.

“Of course, hon,” Ms. Sarkisian says, basting the turkey.

Cady looks quickly to make sure Janis isn’t around before she speaks, talking quietly. “Um... I’m planning on proposing to Janis, around Christmas. I’d like to ask your blessing.” Cady has a feeling it’ll be given, but she’s nervous. They’re still very young, Janis is barely twenty-three.

Ms. Sarkisian gasps happily and comes to hug her. “Of course you have my blessing, I’ve been waiting for this day since you two first started dating. Welcome to the family, honey.”

Cady hugs her back tightly, relieved she agreed. “Thank you.” She hopes she’ll actually be welcomed to the family. Janis has still been acting odd.

-

Janis is ambling around in the living room, out of things to keep tidy for the moment. She’s trying to work up the nerve to talk to Cady’s parents.

When Mrs. Heron comes through to use the restroom, she realizes she might only have this moment to ask them. She takes some deep breaths, standing a little ways away from the bathroom to wait for Cady’s mother.

“Oh, hello, Janis,” Mrs. Heron says as she comes back, wiping some excess water on her pant legs.

“Uh, hi, Mrs. Heron,” Janis stutters. “Can-could I talk to you and Mr. Heron really quick? Um, alone?”

“I’ve told you to call me Betsy, dear. And yes, I’ll go get Chip,” Cady’s mother replies. She returns with her husband after a second, both looking slightly concerned. “Now what is this about?”

Janis swallows and puffs out her chest slightly for confidence. “Uhm, I want to propose to Cady. She loves you two more than anything, so I wanted to ask your blessing.”

Mrs. Heron gasps happily, coming to hug her. Mr. Heron is more stoic, but she sees tears brimming in his eyes.

“Oh, you absolutely have our blessing, dear. Welcome to the family,” Mrs. Heron says.

“Thanks,” Janis breathes. Betsy leaves after that and returns to her daughter in the kitchen. Mr. Heron wraps her in another awkward hug, eventually giving up and pulling back to shake her hand instead.

“You have my blessing. But if you hurt my baby girl, you’ll never see the light of day again,” He says ominously. “Take care of her. Welcome to the family.”

“Um...I don’t plan on it, sir, thank you,” Janis stumbles. “I promise I’ll take care of her.”

“I know you will, I just have to make sure of these things as her father,” Chip replies. “I’ll tell her to do the same for you whenever you propose.”

Janis feels tears prick at her eyes. She knows her mother is protective, but having an actual father figure is nice. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Janis.”

-

They head back to the living room, where everyone else is waiting. Janis shoots Juliana a look, gesturing for her to come over to her.

“What’s up, Janny?” Her sister asks.

“You have to swear to be quiet if I tell you, Caddy can’t know,” Janis threatens.

Juliana looks at her oddly. “Okay.”

Janis pulls out the ring box, prompting a gasp from her sister. Julie slaps a hand over her mouth, squealing into it and doing a little happy dance. “I get another sister! Finally!”

“Shh,” Janis demands. “But yes, hopefully. I’m trusting you with this. I’m gonna propose at Christmas. Can you take this home with you and keep it safe somewhere?”

Julie’s eyes go wide, shocked at the amount of trust her big sister has in her. “Yeah, absolutely. Have you told Mama?”

“No, I’m going to whenever she takes a break. She’s with Caddy, I haven’t been able to get her away.”

“Can I see it?” Julie asks, cradling the ring box carefully and opening it when Janis nods. “Oh, damn. She’s a lucky lady.”

Janis laughs, ruffling her hair. “Thanks, kid, glad you approve.”

“What are we approving, girls? What are you scheming?” Their mother asks as she comes to take a short break from the cooking.

Julie looks to Janis, letting her share the news. “I’m proposing to Caddy. Probably on Christmas Eve.”

Her mom raises her eyebrows, smiling widely when she realizes that they both have the same plan. She comes to hug her, trying to hide her reaction and keep Cady’s proposal a surprise. “Congratulations, baby girl.”

“She hasn’t said yes yet, mama,” Janis reminds her, returning her hug.

“Do you think she’s going to say no?” Juliana asks jokingly.

Janis pauses. “No.”

“Then let her congratulate you, Janny. She’s gonna say yes.” Julie says.

“Okay. Thank you.”

-

“Mom, Daddy, can I talk to you?” Cady asks when Janis goes to grab a second plate from the kitchen.

“Always, binti,” her father replies.

“I’m going to propose to Janis,” Cady says in Swahili just in case Janis is listening. “On Christmas Eve.”

Her parents lock eyes, smiling at each other as they discover each girl has the same plan.

“Congratulations, darling. Treat each other well,” her mother says, trying to stop grinning.

“We will. I love you,” Cady replies as she comes to hug them. She misses the look they shoot Ms. Sarkisian over her shoulders.

-

Once their families leave, headed back home to Illinois in the morning, Janis and Cady have a moment alone in the kitchen as Damian tidies up the living room and heads to bed.

Cady comes up behind Janis as she finishes washing the last few dishes, wrapping her arms around her waist and popping up on her tippy toes to kiss her cheek before squishing her cheek against Janis’ back.

“Hi, baby,” Janis says as she switches to grab another plate.

“Hi,” Cady says. “Today was nice.”

Janis finishes her last dish and turns around, leaning to kiss Cady’s forehead and pulling her in for a tighter hug. She dances them around the kitchen, to a song that exists only in her head. Cady giggles when Janis spins her out and then pulls her back in to kiss her sweetly.

“It was nice. I love you,” Janis says.

“I love you too. I’m thankful for you,” Cady replies, popping up to kiss her again. Janis chuckles, kissing her back.

“I’m thankful for you too, Butterfly. Let’s go to bed, I’m exhausted,” Janis yawns.

“Okay, my love. I’m little spoon tonight,” Cady says.

“Fine.”

————-

Thanksgiving was comforting, but Janis continues acting oddly. She seems distracted, and nervous. Whenever Cady is around she seems on high alert, and spends most of her free time on her phone texting someone. Cady is worried.

On their next date night, Cady decides to go all out. She had told Regina about how strange Janis was acting and asked for advice. She had two girlfriends, after all. Regina had suggested being a bit more bold with her affections to see how Janis responded and going from there.

They have the apartment for the night since Damian is having a sleepover with Karen. They had formed a special bond over the years. They have get togethers every now and again, occasionally joined by Janis and Cady, and every once in a while Regina and Gretchen would join too. It’s cute.

Cady made reservations at their favorite Italian restaurant to surprise Janis, and picks out her sexiest lingerie to go under her slightly revealing green dress. She also decides to wear heels so she can reach Janis’ face more easily.

She styles her hair down, since Janis loves to play with it, and does more makeup than she’s normally comfortable with. She decides to leave her freckles visible, though, since Janis loves those too. She swipes on some red lipstick that she rarely uses and is good to go.

Janis is wearing a green button-down top and some nice black pants, sitting on the couch and waiting for her to finish getting ready. “You ready, ba-whoa.” she says upon seeing her.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Cady says, grabbing her bag and reaching for her. Janis pulls her close before they can leave, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing her soundly.

“You look incredible. Is there some special occasion I’m forgetting?” She purrs after pulling back, miraculously without having smudged either of their lipsticks.

“No,” Cady says, fiddling with a button on her shirt. “Just wanted to try something new.” Janis’ reaction so far seems to be a good sign.

“Hmm,” Janis hums, looking at her oddly. “Okay. As long as you’re comfortable. You look beautiful.”

“Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself,” Cady pecks her lips one more time before pulling away, taking her hand and leading her out the door. “Now come on, we’re gonna be late.”

-

Cady flirts rather aggressively throughout their whole meal; holding Janis’ hand across the table, listening even more intently than she usually does to her stories, even occasionally winking at her.

Janis seems confused by all the attention, but doesn’t complain. She follows quietly after Cady once she pays and smiles as Cady links their fingers together.

“Do you want to walk and look at the lights?” Cady asks as she turns back to look at her.

“You’re in heels and the shortest dress I’ve ever seen, baby, no. We can walk around but we should take you home to change first,” Janis replies, looking meaningfully at her outfit.

“You don’t like it?” Cady asks with a pout.

“No! I mean yes- I... baby, you look beautiful, I love you in this, I just don’t want you to freeze,” Janis explains. “And you’ll damage your feet walking too far in those.”

“Oh,” Cady says with relief. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“You want to head home?” Janis asks.

Cady presses close to her, fiddling with the collar of her shirt. “Yeah,” she purrs. “We can have more fun at home, anyway. Maybe you can help me get out of this.”

Janis lets out a flustered squeak, grabbing her hand and hauling her to a cab.

-

Once they’re both satisfied, Cady pulls Janis to shower with her. “Did you like tonight?”

“Are you kidding? Yeah,” Janis says as Cady gently traces the tattoos covering her arm. “But you’ve been acting kind of... off, are you okay? Did something happen?”

Shit. Janis is onto her. “No, no, I’m fine,” Cady says hastily. “I just wanted to show how much I love you.”

“Aww. Well it was a nice surprise, but I love you all the time, Butterfly,” Janis says as she pulls Cady close to kiss her.

“I love you too.”

Maybe I read things wrong? But what is she up to?

————-

They do actually get to go walk around and see the lights the following weekend. Cady dresses more sensibly this time, in jeans and snow boots. And a Christmas sweater under her coat, which she had talked Janis into matching. Janis had only agreed since their coats would be zipped up.

Cady looks around in childlike wonder at the beautiful lights decorating the neighborhood. She always gets so excited around the holidays. Janis doesn’t think it’ll ever stop being impossibly adorable.

She’s in the midst of trying to process that they’ll hopefully be engaged in about two weeks when Cady suddenly hauls her into an alleyway, pinning her against the wall and kissing her hungrily.

Janis responds in kind, pulling Cady into her and sucking on her lip as she slides her hands into the back pockets of Cady’s jeans. Cady moans quietly, threading her hands through Janis’ short, dark hair and pressing up on her tiptoes to be even closer.

Janis switches their places, turning to lift Cady up and pin her against the wall. Cady squeals in surprise, but locks her legs around Janis’ waist and pulls her back in, giving her lower lip a teasing nip.

Janis pulls back with a gasp for breath, but keeps Cady held against the wall. She groans happily when Cady kisses and nips her cheeks and jaw, letting Janis catch her breath before cupping her face and pressing their lips together again.

Cady is about to ask Janis to take her home so they can continue in private when her phone pings loudly in her pocket. Janis sets her down so she can check it. She blinks in surprise when she sees it’s a text from Aaron.

a-aron: hey, cady! i know it’s been a long time, but i just moved to NY and you’re one of the only people i know in the city. do you want to meet for coffee sometime and catch up?

“Who is it?” Janis asks, but doesn’t try to peek to respect Cady’s privacy.

“Um... it’s Aaron. He just moved to the city, he wants to meet for coffee soon. Would you be okay with that?” Cady asks.

“Damn, he moved here from Cali? At Christmas? Poor dude,” Janis says. “But baby, I don’t control who you meet up with. I trust you, of course you can meet with him.”

“Thanks, lovey. Let me text him back and then we can keep looking around,” Cady hums.

caddy: Sure! Janis and I are going back to Evanston next weekend, though. Are you free this week?

a-aron: does tomorrow work? i could use a break from unpacking. if it’s too short notice that’s fine, damian told me you’re working on your phd. congrats, btw

“What is it?” Janis asks when Cady grins widely.

“He’s been talking with Damian,” Cady says. “Didn’t Damian have a date the other day? And wouldn’t tell us who he was going out with?”

“Oh my god,” Janis squeals. “No way!”

“I think so. I’ll check when I meet with Aaron,” Cady giggles. “One more second, I’m sorry.”

caddy: Thank you! Tomorrow works fine, I’ll text you a good place in a while.

caddy: Oh and Janis says hi :)

a-aron: lol hello janis. see you tomorrow cady

caddy: 📷

“Alright, where were we?” Cady purrs as she pockets her phone again, pulling Janis into another smooch.

————-

The next day, Cady gets ready to meet Aaron around eleven and heads to her favorite local coffee shop.

Aaron is already at a table in the back corner, sipping a mocha as he reads a book.

“Hi, Aaron,” She says, heading over to him.

“Hey, Cady! Long time no see,” Aaron replies, standing and coming to hug her. It’s been about six months since they’ve seen each other, since he came to Regina’s college graduation party in May.

“I know, it’s good to see you!” Cady says as she sits down. “So, what brings you to New York?”

“Work, actually,” Aaron replies. “I was offered a job here and decided to go for it. I was actually kind of lonely all the way out in California. My college friends are all good people, but everyone I’m really connected to is out here now.”

“Like Damian?” Cady teases.

“How did-oh, did I tell you about that?” Aaron stutters. “It’s- we’re not, like, a thing. Or anything.”

“Do you want to be?” Cady asks gently. Aaron had come out as biromantic and asexual during his sophomore year of college. He and Damian would be cute together.

“YeahIreallydo,” Aaron says quickly before abruptly changing the subject. “Anyway, um, how have you and Janis been? Is she still doing art?”

Cady sighs, but smiles at the mention of her girlfriend. “Yeah. She actually teaches art now, to middle schoolers. And she has a commission business she runs on the side. And everything is great with us, I’m actually planning on proposing to her soon.”

Aaron gasps happily. “Congratulations, Cades! When are you doing it?”

“Christmas,” Cady grins. “Well, Christmas Eve. I have a lot to plan still, though.”

“I could help, I’m going to visit family in Evanston too. I’m assuming Damian or Regina is helping you?” Aaron asks.

“Regina, and Gretchen and Karen. Damian’s been busy with something else, but I’ve told him it’s happening,” Cady replies. “If you want to help, that would be great. Regina has been doing most of the shopping, I think.”

“I’ll shoot her a text later. Am I invited to the wedding?” Aaron asks jokingly.

“Of course,” Cady chides. “If it actually happens.”

“Cady, you and Janis are perfect for each other, she’s going to say yes. We’ve all been waiting for this since we were in high school.”

“But we were only dating for a few months in high school,” Cady says.

“But you’ve been in love with her since you met her,” Aaron replies. “I didn’t really notice it when we were together, but you never looked at me the way you look at her. I’m glad everything has worked out for you two.”

Cady is stunned. “Um. Thank you,” she stutters. “I think. So, what were you doing in California after you graduated?”

“I work in accounting now,” Aaron says. “Yes, it is as boring as it sounds. Um, I joined a rec soccer league for a while, that was cool. And I...uh, never mind.”

“No, what? Come on, you can tell me,” Cady coaxes, thanking the waiter as he delivers her tea.

“I dabbled in drag,” Aaron mumbles. Cady chokes on her tea, spitting it back into her mug.

“Oh my god! Really?!” She splutters. “Do you still do it?”

“I haven’t found anywhere to do it here yet, but technically, yes,” Aaron replies.

“What’s your drag name?” Cady demands excitedly. This is an incredible revelation.

“Lois Carmen Denominator,” Aaron says as he flushes. Cady chokes again. Of course he picked a math pun.

“Oh my god, that’s incredible,” she breathes. “Have you told Damian? He loves that stuff.”

“No, we, um. We’ve only met up the once. Somehow that didn’t come up,” Aaron says. “But I’ll let him know.”

“Yes! That’s so neat, you’ll have to let me know when you find somewhere. I’ll come to see you perform,” Cady says excitedly.

“Sure, Cades,” Aaron chuckles. “Um, has Damian, like, mentioned me at all?”

Cady grins. Now it’s her turn to play matchmaker. “Not by name,” she teases. “But he was going on and on about this super hot guy he managed to get a date with the other day.”

Aaron flushes again. “He thinks I’m hot?”

“Apparently,” Cady giggles. “Did you go out with him on Wednesday?”

“Yeah,” Aaron says, his voice a few octaves higher.

“Then yes, he thinks you’re hot,” Cady replies.

Aaron is doing his best tomato impression by this point. “Oh. Wait, what do I do now?”

“You’re so flustered, oh my god! Text him, ask to meet again,” Cady says. “He’ll say yes, he was a total mess when he came home the other day.”

“Okay,” Aaron says as he pulls out his phone. He taps out a message quickly, and his face splits in a wide grin when he gets a notification in response a few minutes later. “We’re gonna go see a movie in Evanston when we’re both there next week.”

“Aww, yay! You guys will make such a good couple,” Cady squeals.

“Uh, thanks,” Aaron says sheepishly. His phone pings again. “Oh, shit, I gotta go. I’m sorry.”

“No, I should be going too. Don’t worry about it,” Cady replies as she picks up her bag and orders a to-go iced coffee for Janis. “This was nice.”

“It was. I guess if everything goes well with Dame we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other,” Aaron says. “Later, Cady.”

“Bye!”

-

“Janis!” Cady calls as she slams the door to the apartment open.

“Jesus!” Janis yelps from her spot on the couch. “Baby, don’t do that!”

“Sorry. I got you a coffee,” Cady says sheepishly. “And Aaron and Damian are together. Or almost, anyway. They went on a date last week and they’re gonna go see a movie together when we go home next week. I was excited to tell you. Oh, and Aaron is a drag queen!”

Janis chokes. “He what? Oh, Damian’s gonna love that. He’ll have a hell of a time trying to explain this to us later. Don’t tell him you know anything, this is hilarious.”

“It is kind of funny,” Cady giggles. “Is anyone we were friends with in high school straight?”

Janis thinks for a second. “Kevin?”

“No, he’s aroace,” Cady replies. “He just has a pet lizard.”

“Good for him,” Janis says. “I guess gays do kind of flock together. Must be pheromones or some shit.”

“Homomones,” Cady says absently, making Janis burst out laughing.

“Yeah,” She giggles, wiping tears from her eyes. “Anyway, did you have a good time?”

“I did. It was nice to see him again,” Cady says. “But I missed you.”

“Aww,” Janis coos. “I missed you too. I was supposed to be working on a new commission I got but I kept getting distracted and sketching you instead. Thanks for the coffee, Butterfly.”

“Ooh, can I see?” Cady asks. She loves Janis’ art, no matter how simple a sketch it may be. “And you’re welcome, my love.”

Janis hands over her sketchbook, open to a page covered in little doodles of Cady’s face.

“These are good, lovey!” Cady says as she flicks through a few pages. “There’s a lot of them, though.”

“Yeah, I get distracted a lot,” Janis mumbles. “But thanks. Glad you don’t think it’s creepy.”

“Of course not,” Cady chides. “It’s cute.”

“You’re cuter,” Janis challenges.

Cady kisses her to shut her up, not even slightly taking the bait. “Thank you. I’m gonna go change, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

-

Cady comes back quickly as she promised, but somehow different. She kisses Janis again in greeting and plops down next to her, tapping away on her phone.

“Welcome back,” Janis says jokingly. Cady either doesn’t hear or doesn’t care, not even looking up. “Butterfly?”

“Hm?” Cady hums.

“Did something happen?” Janis asks concernedly. She can’t tell if the furrow in Cady’s brow is from concentration or concern.

“Huh? Oh, no, everything is fine. I just have something to... work on,” Cady says. “I’ll be done in a while.”

“Oh. Okay,” Janis says suspiciously. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cady replies, but she still doesn’t look up. It doesn’t sound like there’s any meaning behind the words this time. That’s concerning.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Janis asks.

“Yes, Janis, everything’s fine,” Cady huffs, sounding a bit irritated.

“Sorry. Just wanted to make sure,” Janis mumbles.

“Thank you, love, but I’m okay. I’ll tell you if something happens,” Cady says as she finally looks up.

“Okay,” Janis replies. Cady goes back to her phone then, continuing... whatever she’s up to.

Janis pulls out her own phone, playing a game Damian had gotten her hooked on.

“Lovey, would you please go get my charger?” Cady asks after about an hour and a half.

“Sure, baby,” Janis replies as she stands up to stretch. She heads to the bedroom to grab both chargers, coming back and plugging them into the wall. Hers doesn’t reach back to her spot, so she lies her head on Cady’s lap and resumes her scrolling.

“Thank you, Jellybean,” Cady replies, plugging her own phone in and continuing her activities as she strokes her other hand through Janis’ hair.

After another hour or so, Janis gets bored. She clicks her phone off and sits up, but crawls back to Cady for cuddles.

“Janis,” Cady huffs. “What are you doing?”

“I’m bored,” Janis whines. “Snuggle me.”

“Fine, come here,” Cady pulls her closer and lets Janis cuddle into her shoulder. Janis gets comfortable and closes her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

-

She wakes a couple hours later, checking hastily to make sure she hasn’t been drooling all over Cady’s shoulder. She hasn’t, luckily, but she seems to have stirred a few times before, because Cady tries to shush her back to sleep.

“I’m awake, Cads,” Janis replies. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, love. Did you have a nice nap?” Cady asks. She’s still working on her phone.

“Yeah,” Janis mumbles and cuddles back into her shoulder. “Still working?”

“I’m almost done,” Cady replies distractedly.

“Mmkay. What do you want for dinner?” Janis asks from her perch on her lap.

“Huh? Oh, can we have tacos? I bought the stuff the other day,” Cady says.

Janis nods, but makes no effort to move. “Sure, that sounds good.”

She sits for a few more minutes before she sits up, deciding to try to squeeze in a make out session before she goes to cook.

But Cady turns away. She tilts her head so Janis’ lips end up on her cheek. Janis whines in frustration.

“Caddy!”

“What, Janis?” Cady asks in exasperation.

Janis does her best puppy eyes. They aren’t quite as good as Cady’s, but they do the job well enough. “Pay attention to meeeeee.”

“Janis! This is important,” Cady says as she looks over Janis’ shoulder to continue working.

Janis’ face falls. More important than me? “Fine. I’m gonna go cook.”

“Janis, wait, I’m sorry,” Cady says, reaching for her again.

“It’s fine. You keep working,” Janis mumbles, leaving her alone as she heads into the kitchen.

-

Cady comes in sheepishly when she calls her to eat. “Love, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I just- I have a lot going on, I took it out on you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, baby. Don’t worry about it, I understand. Just tell me next time so I don’t push you like that,” Janis replies. “Now come eat.”

“I will. I love you,” Cady says, kissing Janis sweetly before taking her plate.

“I love you too,” Janis hums, kissing her back.

————-

Cady seems almost embarrassed for the next week or so, still upset with herself for making Janis sad. Janis tries to cheer her up, making it very clear she understands that Cady didn’t mean it, but Cady still seems nervous around her.

Cady feels like she should do something to make up for it. She hadn’t meant to ignore Janis like that, but Regina was trying to check that everything was ordered for the proposal. Cady wanted to step things up even further and had to tell her to order extra things. Then, an issue had come up with Cady’s card, so she’d had to fix that over text all with Janis asleep on her lap.

Janis had woken up at the worst possible moment. Cady was very much not in the mood for kissing by that point, but she knows she should have told Janis she was stressed rather than just turning away and continuing her work. Of course that had upset her.

So, Cady decides to make sushi for dinner. It’s Janis’ favorite food, and Cady thinks it had helped them start dating back in high school. She picks up the ingredients on her way home from classes and starts preparing everything while she waits for Janis to come home from work.

Cady doesn’t like sushi herself, so she makes her own ‘sashimi’ with plain rice and cooked chicken instead of the raw fish she uses for Janis’. Damian had a callback to go to and wouldn’t be home until late at night. She makes him some anyway and leaves it in the fridge with a sweet note.

“What’s up, fuckers?!” Janis calls as she slams the apartment door open. Cady jumps, nearly losing a finger to the sushi knife she was holding. She hopes that one day Janis will stop doing that every time she comes home. But, for now, it’s strangely endearing.

“I’m in the kitchen, Damian’s not home,” she replies once she’s recovered from the brief shock. “I have something for you.”

“Uh oh,” Janis replies as she takes off her boots and coat and heads into the kitchen. “Aww! You made sushi again?”

“Yeah. To make up for the other day. And because I love you,” Cady answers, showing off the maki rolls she had plated into a smiley face. “Tah-dah.”

Janis squeals, coming to hug her girlfriend. She had been a little concerned that Cady might’ve beaten her to a proposal.

“Thank you, Peanut,” Janis says. “I love you.”

“You’re welcome, mpendwa. I love you too. How was work?” Cady asks as she sits across from her at their tiny dining table.

“Good, actually,” Janis replies. “One of my kids actually brought me an apple after lunch.”

“Aww, how sweet,” Cady says. “Was it the gay one?”

“Yeah,” Janis chuckles in reply. She was one of the only openly gay teachers in her district, so she provided a safe space for a lot of her students. It was healing for her, in a way, to be what she needed at that age. “He told me to say hi to you, by the way.”

“They know about me?” Cady asks as she eats a bite of her special sashimi.

“They know I have a girlfriend, for sure,” Janis hums in reply. “If I had a dollar for every time they tell me to ‘shut up about your girlfriend, Ms. S,’ I could buy this whole complex. And I have pictures of you guys around, so I think they’ve pieced together who you are.”

“Aww. That’s so cute,” Cady coos, leaning over for a kiss.

“I’m glad you think so,” Janis chuckles as she kisses her back sweetly. “What about you, how was school? Did you finish that assignment you were working on?”

“Assign- oh. Yeah, I did,” Cady says, briefly confused until she remembers Janis thought she was working on schoolwork instead of her proposal plan that day. “But it’s for that one professor, so I probably won’t find out my grade until sometime during break.”

“That’s shit,” Janis says through a mouthful of sushi. “But good job, I bet you did great.”

“Thanks,” Cady chuckles. She uses her own chopsticks to feed Janis a piece of her sushi, and Janis does the same. Before they know it the food is gone, so Janis takes their dishes to the sink before coming to pick Cady up, carrying her to the bedroom for cuddles.

-

Christmas Eve finally rolls around a few weeks later. Cady and Janis are staying with their own families for the week, and they would fly home with Damian on Boxing Day.

Janis had told Cady she wanted to take her out for Christmas Dinner, so she borrows her mom’s car and heads to pick Cady up. It’s only been about three days since she’s seen Cady, but they’ve both missed each other.

“Janis!” Cady squeals, opening the door before Janis could even knock. She’s in a tight green top and dark dress pants, unknowingly matching Janis, who is in a red top and also in dark dress pants. Cady has on heels, though, to make it easier to kiss Janis.

“Hi, baby,” Janis chuckles, picking her up for a second and spinning them around. “Your carriage awaits.”

“Why thank you, my lady, shall we be off?” Cady replies in character with a giggle.

“Indeed,” Janis says.

-

They have a lovely meal at their favorite restaurant from high school, the same place they had eaten before their senior prom.

Cady holds Janis’ arm as they exit, the ring box burning a hole in her coat pocket. “Lovey? Do you want to walk a little? We’re not too far from that clearing you took me to on our first date, we could go there.”

“I was just going to say that,” Janis replies. “Let’s drive a little closer, it’s cold, but then we can walk.”

“Okay, you’re right,” Cady giggles. “Let’s go, it’s getting dark.”

Janis runs after her, as Cady hauls her across the parking lot.

-

They chat and reminisce about how far they’ve come as they walk through the woods, neither of them quite noticing that the snow has been cleared from the path they’re walking on.

Both of them grin when the clearing comes into view, each of them thinking they’re about to propose and the other has no idea.

Cady pauses in the middle, turning quickly to look around at the gorgeous set up she thinks Regina, Gretchen, and Karen have done, not knowing that Damian and Aaron also had a hand.

Lights are strung up through all the trees and bushes nearby, and candles light their way to a little altar, with a picture of the two of them together that says “Marry Me?” in what looks suspiciously like Gretchen’s best calligraphy. Snow is fluttering down around them, leaving cold little kisses on her face.

Cady is stunned when she turns back to find Janis on one knee behind her. She had known that they were probably going to be engaged by the time they left, but not that Janis would propose first.

She gasps in shock, covering her mouth with her hands as tears start pouring from her eyes.

“Caddy,” Janis begins, reaching for one of her hands. “Cady. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me. You’ve changed me, changed my life, and it’s so, so much better with you in it. You make me want to stay. I don’t have the words to explain how thankful I am to have met you, and that I get to spend my life with you.”

Janis reaches into her pocket with her free hand and pulls out a ring box. Cady gasps again when she sees it. It’s a white gold band, made of two strands woven together. One strand is decorated with little diamonds, and there’s a larger one in the center of the ring. It’s absolutely beautiful.

“And I want to spend the rest of it with you, if you’ll have me. Cady Jane Heron, will you marry me?” Janis asks, holding up the ring.

Cady is almost crying too hard to speak at this point, but she manages to nod and barely choke out a “Yes, of course.”

She lets Janis slide the ring on her finger, choking back a sob, before she tackles Janis to the ground and weeps into her neck.

“Baby, please don’t cry so hard, why are you crying?” Janis asks in alarm, ignoring the fact that she’s lying in several inches of snow in favor of holding her fiancée closer.

“Because I love you,” Cady sobs. “I’m so happy.”

“I’m happy too, Peanut. Do you want to go look at what Damian did?” Janis asks.

Cady nods and rolls off of her but just holds Janis’ outstretched hand instead of using it to stand up herself.

“Baby, what are you- oh my god,” Janis says, confused until Cady also shifts to be on one knee. Cady uses her free hand to wipe the tears from under her eyes, sniffling and clearing her throat to try and get herself back under control.

“Janis, my love,” she begins after a moment. “I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize it, but I’ve loved you since I met you. I had no idea that the moment you saved me from that bathroom was the moment I met the love of my life. You are the most wonderful gift I’ve ever been given, and I treasure every moment I get to spend with you. I’m so excited for our forever; I love you so much. I know this is kind of a moot point now, but... Janis Olivia Sarkisian, will you marry me?”

Janis is absolutely full-on ugly crying by this point, mascara tracking down her face as she holds back sobs with her free hand. They’re technically already engaged, but she nods rapidly and sobs out a “Yes!”

Cady slides on Janis’ ring gently, a matching white-gold band, but more simple, with a single diamond in the center. Cady had also gotten the date they met, the date they started dating, and the date they got engaged engraved onto the inside of the band.

Janis hauls her up and crashes their lips together, kissing Cady so hard she thinks her lips might bruise as the cheers of their friends echo around them.

They both jump apart and scream as Regina leaps out from a bush, in a suit used by hunters and with her face even painted green. The rest of their friends also come out from behind various trees and shrubs, Damian climbing down from up above them and nearly falling to the ground until Aaron catches him.

Everyone comes to wrap them in a tight group hug, shouting their congratulations over one another. Regina stays out to take more photos before reluctantly coming and joining the cuddle.

“Reggie, what the fuck are you wearing?” Janis asks with a watery chuckle, still crying slightly.

“It’s called a ghillie suit. I didn’t want you to see me,” Regina answers as if it’s entirely normal for her to be covered in fake leaves and moss.

“We both knew you were coming, and it’s dark,” Cady replies, trying to hold back hysterical laughter. “You could have hidden behind a tree like everyone else.”

Regina apparently only realizes that now, scowling slightly. “Shit. Go big or go home, I guess.”

“Thanks, Reg,” Janis laughs. “Thank all of you.”

“Yeah, thank you guys! This really is beautiful,” Cady giggles. “God, Jay, did everyone know we were both going to do this except-“

“Us? Yeah, apparently,” Janis answers, hugging her again.

“Let us see the rings!” Karen calls, so they both extend their left hands for everyone to grab and coo over. Regina gets one more shot of Cady’s small hand resting in Janis’, showing off both of their engagement rings in a cute way.

“Okay, Damian and Aaron said they’d stay to clean this back up, Gina needs to go make herself... not green, and you two are probably going to go have wild sex somewhere, so I’m gonna take my girlfriends and go. Congratulations!” Gretchen cheers, hauling Regina and Karen away by the hand.

“Gretchen!” Regina scolds. “Congratulations, guys!”

“Yeah, congrats! Confetti emoji!” Karen calls over her shoulder.

Cady and Janis lock eyes once they’ve gone, both bursting into laughter. Gretchen was not wrong.

“Do you guys need us to stay for anything? I don’t want to leave you two here alone to clean up all of this,” Cady asks anxiously.

Damian and Aaron look at one another knowingly. “I think we’ll be fine, Cads.”

“Oh really? You’ll be fine here all alone? Have you two finally said it?” Janis teases.

Damian sticks his tongue out at her, but does reach for Aaron’s hand. “Yes. Are you satisfied now?”

Janis squeals and comes to hug him, Cady following quickly. “Good job, D, you finally got your hunk!”

“Yeah, yay!” Cady piggybacks. “But really, are you sure you don’t need help?”

“Cady, we’ll be fine. Go have your night with your fiancée,” Aaron says. Cady takes the poster from the altar, but is eventually persuaded to take Janis’ hand to lead them back to the car.

-

Cady had booked a fancy hotel room for the night, figuring she would either be having the night of her life with her fiancée or alone drowning her sorrows in ice cream and champagne.

Janis pins her to the bed instantly, tenderly removing her shirt and shoes as their lips meet again and again. Cady reaches to hold her head in place, before undoing the buttons on Janis’ shirt and flinging it across the room.

-

Janis pulls her close once they’re cleaned from their evening of passion, both of them wearing nothing but their rings (except Cady’s socks).

“We’re getting married, Janis,” Cady whispers excitedly. “You’re gonna be my wife.”

“Yeah, we are. And you’re gonna be my wife,” Janis replies, kissing her sweetly.

“I can’t believe this is what you were up to,” Cady huffs. “I knew you were being sneaky, I should’ve known.”

“You were the sneaky one! I thought you had some crazy homework assignment, I was wondering why you wouldn’t let me help you with anything,” Janis retaliates. Cady starts giggling then, seemingly at nothing. “What?”

“I just-I can’t believe we had the exact same idea,” Cady says between fits of laughter. “I was still surprised when you did yours because I thought everything was set up for mine.”

“Oh,” Janis says, laughing too. “I guess we’re just that in sync. We were meant to be.”

“Meant to be indeed,” Cady replies, pulling her down on top of her for another kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Butterfly. When should we get married?” Janis asks.

“I’ve always wanted a spring wedding,” Cady hums. “Like, April or early in May, maybe. What about you?”

“I dunno, I never really... thought this would happen to me,” Janis hums. “I never had a dream wedding. A spring one sounds nice, we could do it outside. But do you really think we can plan a whole wedding that fast?”

“Aww, my love. I’m so glad I get to marry you,” Cady says sadly. “I think we could, if we really work on it. I don’t want anything crazy, and I don’t think you do either?” Janis shakes her head. “Yeah, so if we do something small, I think we can do it that fast. And if not, we’ll do it the next year.”

“God, no, I don’t want to wait anymore,” Janis breathes. “Even April sounds too far away.”

Cady smiles widely. “You’re too cute. I love you so much.”

“I love you more,” Janis teases. “We can plan more later. Come cuddle me.”

“I love you most. Fiancée,” Cady says in retaliation as she snuggles into Janis to go to sleep.

“Fiancée.” Janis replies, pecking her lips.

“Lovey.” Cady says, pecking her back.

“Baby.”

“Jellybean.”

“Butterfly.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Peanut.”

“Darling.”

“Kitkat.”

“Mpendwa.”

“Wait, I’ve always wondered what that means,” Janis replies. “And the other one, um-“

“Mpenzi? That means, like, love or partner, or favorite. Mpendwa means dear or dearest.”

“Oh. That’s cute,” Janis squeaks. “Mon coeur.”

“Aww, I’m your heart?” Cady coos. “How sweet, Bluejay.”

“You might as well be, I can’t live without you,” Janis says. “I love you.”

Cady cuddles impossibly closer, tipping her face up to kiss her again. “I love you so much. So, so much.”

“Goodnight, fiancée,” Janis says as she kisses her goodnight.

“Goodnight, fiancée,” Cady yawns back, nuzzling into her chest and falling into a blissful sleep, Janis following quickly.

I can’t wait to marry you.

-

hope you enjoyed!

requests are still open, please leave them either here, on my wattpad, or on my ao3. all are the same handle, maybeimamuppet. it may take a few weeks for your request to be published, but I am cranking them out as fast as I can and I will get to everyone's eventually.

thanks for reading!

lots of love,

ezzy

[waywardnerd67]

Starving Affection

Summary: It had been five years since (Y/N) had any physical contact with another person. When she starts talking with a man online who reads her fanfics, a battle of her  mind and body begins. When the time comes to meet him, she finds that there are still decent human beings in the world.  Characters: Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Sami (OFC), Plus Size!Reader Pairing: Jensen x Plus Size!Reader Warnings: Angst/Fluff/Smut/Body Image Distortion Word Count: 9256 A/N: Again, me working through my feels. Thank you for allowing me to do so.

My chest tightened. Jaw clenched until my teeth hurt. My body rigid and frozen as panic flowed through my veins. The overly friendly, new teacher had her arms outstretched towards me. If I had been a normal person, I would gladly hold my arms out as well embracing her kindness and affection.

I was not normal.

“Hey Katy!” My partner teacher and best friend, Sami, headed her off by stepping in front of me and taking the hit of affection.

There was a special place in Heaven for Sami and if not, I would fight God themselves to make it so. I could see Sami whispering to Katy and a nod of acknowledgement told me I would not have to worry about her advancements again.

“Sorry (Y/N), I didn’t know you weren’t a hugger. How about a high five?” Her sweet gesture had my trembling hand stretching out to her as she quickly slapped it with her own.

Only Sami could see my flinch from the physical touch of someone. Everyone else summed it up to my quirky personality and weird aversion to being touched. Thankfully our English department meeting was over and I could escape to the safe haven of my car. Sami was close behind me waving goodbye to everyone.

I bumped my shoulder to hers as she was the only one I had no problem with minor touching, “Thank you for taking that hug for me.”

She laughed, “You’re lucky I’m a friendly and huggy person. Hey, I meant to ask you before school today, but how is counseling going?”

I cringed, averting my gaze from her, “It’s… going fine.”

She stopped me with a tap on my shoulder, “The truth, please.”

I sighed as my shoulders slumped in defeat, “I stopped going,” I saw the incoming assault in her narrowing sky colored eyes.

“(Y/N)! You were making such good progress with this counselor. I was even able to give you a one arm hug.” The disappointment in her voice weighed my shoulders down even more.

I leaned against my car pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, “I know, I know. She had me go to one of her support groups and everyone had to hug someone. I… I just couldn’t. I tried three or four times going to the group and I failed every time.”

My eyes fell to the ground, disgust filling my mind, “Yes, you really are as pathetic as you’re sounding.” My inner voice snarked.

I heard Sami sigh, “It’s okay. We can work through it together. We can keep doing everything you liked from her and work at your pace.”

Looking up, I forced my lips into a small smile to appease my only real life friend, “That sounds good. Thanks Sami for putting up with me.”

I made my way home to a small ranch style home that was off the beaten path. My grandparents had left it to me knowing I would love the seclusion of it. It was my Fortress of Solitude. The only living thing, other than Sami, to be able to snuggle with me was Charlie the cat. The copper Main Coon was sitting by the door awaiting my arrival.

My evenings were always the same. Check in with my mom for an hour on the phone. Make or order dinner, which tonight was ordering pizza for the leftovers tomorrow. Turning on my favorite TV show, Supernatural, on Netflix and working on one of my millions of fanfics.

“Yes, stay in complete denial by hiding in your fantasy worlds and falling in love with fictional characters. Loser.”

I pushed my inner thoughts to the very back of my mind and focused on my current series I was writing. Pulling up Tumblr, I looked in my notifications seeing someone binge reading my masterlist. My heart always swelled with joy whenever someone took the time to read my writings. This person was also leaving feedback as well.

“ChevyMan67: I love this version of Dean! You truly have captured his personality and sarcasm.”

“ChevyMan67: I can’t get enough of this series! Please tell me there is more to come. I need to know if Dean finally falls in love and gets his apple pie life.”

I read through every comment and looked at every GIF the reader posted. I hit follow on his blog then took a few screenshots from my activity page, pulling up a blank post adding the pictures.

“Thank you to @ChevyMan67 for binging my stories! Your feedback means everything to me!”

As soon as I posted it there was a notification of a reblog from him. He posted a GIF of Dean screaming with #Fangirling flashing underneath. My cheeks ached from the unusual tension of a genuine smile spreading across my face.

Online I could be anyone I wanted. I would virtual hug and blow kisses at my friends. I was able to be more like the woman I was. Social, happy, carefree, open to others. I could be the woman I desperately wanted to be but my mind would not allow.

“Stay guarded. Remember what happened when you trusted him? Trusted his family? Never again. You promised never again.”

My indeed guard held the line at the gate of my mind. She stood in full armor and shield ready to throw off anyone that even attempted to break through to the part of me that desired to be a whole person again. I shook my head with a firm nod and reaffirmed my promise to myself to never let anyone that close to me again.

As I was closing down her computer for the evening, a ding caught my attention as a message came from Tumblr. Opening the window, I saw a DM from my newest follower.

“Hey there, I just wanted to say thank you for following me. Apparently I’m a rarity on here for being male and a fan of Supernatural. I truly love all your writings and can’t wait to read more. Hopefully, we can get to know each other better and become friends. Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. Message me any time. Goodnight.”

I re-read the message several times before closing my computer. Sure I had people message me for small talk and a few close friends I had on there. This felt different. Something deep within me sparked and I did not know how to react. There was only one person I knew I could go to and her reaction was more frightening than the thought of responding to ChevyMan67. That night was the first of many restless nights for me.

A week later, I finally sat down and responded to him.

“Hey, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond. I’m… well, I’m not used to talking to guys here. I think it’s great that you’re on here and reading, BTW. I’m working on a few pieces right now, maybe you could beta for me if you have time. I hope we can be friends as well. Have a good weekend!”

I was nearly hyperventilating when I hit enter sending the message. I tried to work on my newest one shot story and ignore my anxious heart awaiting for the ding. It was not until I was in bed watching my favorite episode of Supernatural that my phone chimed.

“Tumblr: Message from ChevyMan67”

My finger hovered for a moment before opening the app. The message opened and I let out a air I had been holding in my chest.

“No worries. Everyone is busy and has their “real life” to attend too. I work odd hours and days all the time so I get it. I would LOVE to beta for you!!!! Reading your work before it’s posted online? HELL YEAH! I feel honored you asked and I’m fanboying hard right now. Crap… that sounded… I mean. Sorry lol. You can send your fics to ChevyMan67@gmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you again.”

Over the next six months, Ross and I talked throughout our days getting to know one another. Three month into Tumblr messenger and dumb updates, he gave me his cell number to text one another. At times, I would have to catch myself from laughing while my students took a test. Everyone around me started to notice the small changes in me. Smiling more, talking more and one student commented on me wearing bright colors.

“You look good in yellow Miss (Y/L/N).”

However it was Sami who demanded to know all about the changes going on with me. We sat at our favorite restaurant, the first round of drinks being set in front of us. After the waiter took our order, Sami began her interrogation.

“Tell. Me. Everything. You’ve been keeping me at bay and I’ve respected your space, but you have seemingly blossomed in the last few months. Spill.”

I bit my lower lip as my phone sounded with an all to familiar chime. I went to grab my phone when Sami placed her hand over it, “Me first. Tumblr second.”

“It’s not Tumblr. Let me reply to him and then I will tell you everything.” I dared to look up to see my best friend’s face frozen in shock.

Her eyes wide and mouth gaping, “Him?!”

I nodded reading Ross’s message, “Hey I know you’re out with Sami and going to tell her about little ole me. I just wanted to make sure you were still thinking about what I asked last night. Can’t wait to hear from you soon. Not now though, have fun with Sami.”

I smiled, locking my phone and putting it in my purse looking back to my ridiculously happy friend, “His name is Ross.”

There was a loud, attention grabbing squeal from her as I shushed her, “Leave out no details…” she rested her perfect chin on her folded hands.

I told her all about Ross and how we began talking. I told her everything I knew about him and what he knew about me. Finally, as our food came out and drinks were refilled, I told her about what he had dropped on me the previous night.

“He asked me to meet him at the Supernatural Convention in Dallas next month. He already has the passes paid for and a few photo ops that we could share.” My heart raced at the thought of meeting Ross and meeting my favorite celebrities all at the same time.

Sami’s smile faded slightly, “Does he know about your struggles with being touched?”

I nodded, “It was one of the first personal things I told him. He’s still talking to me so I took that as a frightening good sign.”

“What are you feeling?” her point blank question shook me for a moment.

My fingers drummed against the table, “I’m nervous, scared, anxious…” I paused for a moment before looking up at her with a smile.

“I’m also excited, hopeful and curious.”

Sami held out her hands to me, palms up and I hesitantly placed my hands in hers. It was something we had been working on for the last couple of months. This was the first time I allowed her to squeeze my hands.

“You really like him.” She whispered smiling like a fool.

I felt my own smile mirroring hers, “Yes I do and that scares me shitless.”

The rest of the evening felt like the old days before my life fell apart. When I got home, I decided to test my luck. Pulling up Ross’s number, my thumb hovered over it until I smashed it hearing it ringing.

“Well hello, this is a surprise.” His velvety smooth voice sent shivers down my body, “Take a deep breath and know it’s okay if you hang up to just text me.”

“N-No, I’ll be okay.” I stammered as he let out a low chuckle.

I could hear him moving away from other voices around him, “I interrupted something…” Guilt and shame weighing my shoulders down.

“Not at all. They can wait, you calling me is an important moment. Not everyday, I get to speak to my favorite writer on the phone.” His compliments calmed my queasy stomach, “Could I be so hopeful that this phone call is working up to a good answer?”

I took a deep breath in and let out slowly, “Yes.” The word seems foregin to her as it left my lips.

“Yes I can be hopeful or yes to my question?” His jovial banter eased the tension in my shoulders.

“Yes.” I tried to sound a little more confident, my heart beating against my chest.

There was a moment of silence before loud cheering and yelling came through her speaker. His excitement was silenced by my own unfamiliar laughter. Suddenly I was hyper aware that he was no longer making any noises. Panic and fear swelling inside me.

A soft sigh came from him, “You have a beautiful laugh. I can’t wait to hear it again.”

My cheeks burned, “Thank you.”

Ross told me he would send all the details for our trip and that I was not to worry about money of any kind. Mentally, I began planning out how to save as much money as I could in the next four weeks. Thankfully, my savings was built up enough to take a small hit and not dip into her emergency fund. Over the next several weeks, I began to prepare for my first convention, first time meeting an online friend, first time traveling by myself, first time facing the unknown in five years.

The morning of my travel day, I went over to Sami’s house with Charlie. I was surprised to see her sister sitting there. She waved to me before taking Charlie’s crate.

“What’s going on?” I looked around seeing Sami’s suitcase packed by the door.

She smiled, “Your friend Ross, reached out to me.”

The color from my face drained for a moment, “H-He did… How?”

“He found me on your Instagram page. DM me asking me to join you on your trip. Stating and I quote, ‘I know you being there with (Y/N) will make her more comfortable. I want this weekend to go as comfortably as possible for her. I know it’s a big step and I want her to be taken care of.’”

She smiled softly as my vision blurred from tears slipping down my face, “Oh… wow.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty amazing (Y/N/N). If you were ever going to work on overcoming your touch aversion this would be the man to do it for.” Sami turned around to help her sister, leaving me to my own thoughts.

“Absolutely not! There is no way he is getting through my defenses. I have held strong for five years. Your heart and mind are safe within my holds.”

“Do you really think he’s going to want to touch you? Look at yourself. Lumpy. Chunky. Squishy. Dull (Y/C/H) hair. Boring (Y/C/E) eyes. Not even a decent pair of boobs or ass. You’re nothing special. Always remember that you’re nothing special.”

“(Y/N)? (Y/N) stop it.” Sami’s voice rang clear bringing me back to the present.

I nodded slowly, “Sorry. I zoned out.”

“Freaked out. We will work through it. Sara is gonna drive us to the airport and we have an hour to chat. Okay?”

It was in the moment that I noticed my best friend had absentmindedly placed her hand on my shoulder and I did not flinch. My eyes looked to her hand and back to her, “You’re touching my shoulder.”

“Crap, I’m so sor…” she started to say but my bright smile stopped her, “What?”

I placed my hand on top of hers, “I didn’t flinch or move or even notice you did it.”

Now her smile was matching mine and we had a moment of pure excitement jumping around each other. True to her word, we spent the hour on the plane doing some meditative exercises. I thanked every high power who would listen for my best friend getting her psychology degree.

There was a man waiting with our names on a piece of paper. He took our bags and drove us to a  hotel near where the convention was being held. Sami checked us in since there were so many people inside and my anxiety started to flare up.

Breathe in counting to six. Breathe out counting to six.

I repeated my breathing exercise until Sami returned her brow furrowed, “What is it?”

“I don’t know who Ross knows, but he must be connected in some way. We have a suite on the fourteenth floor.”

My jaw dropped slightly before I stood up bracing myself for the next hurdle of getting through the elevator ride. Luckily, there were only two other girls in the car and I could safely keep my distance from them.

“I heard that Jensen is staying at this hotel.” One mentioned as the other rolled her eyes.

“Yeah right. This is Dallas, I’m sure he’s probably staying with his family or something.”

The girls exit on the eighth floor and before the doors could close Sami and I were chuckling to ourselves. The chances of Jensen Ackles staying at this hotel would be astronomical. The car dinged for the top floor and opened to a small hallway. When we opened the door to our suite neither of us spoke.

Sami walked throughout the entire room before I could even move from the entryway, “This room is amazing! Check out the view we have (Y/N).”

“Hold on. Having a moment.” I breathed as Sami came to my side and I held my hand out, “I’m fine. Just need a moment to make sure this is real and not a dream.”

I watched as she walked over to the coffee table where there was a gift basket and she held up a small notecard, “Oh it’s real.”

“(Y/N) and Sami, I hope you love your room. Enjoy your night and order anything you want. The front desk knows it’s all on my tab. I’m hoping you both will join me for dinner tomorrow night after registration. Sadly, my job won’t let me leave before then. I look forward to meeting you both. -R PS: I highly recommend the spa and they have a large private jacuzzi just for you, (Y/N).”

Sami sighed, “I really hope he has a single brother, cousin, friend that is like him for me.”

I rolled my eyes walking over to the large windows looking out. Flashes of the last time I was in Dallas popping into my mind. I shivered as the one voice I hated yelled loudly in my ears. My hands covered them and I felt Sami tap my shoulder twice. For the first time, in several years, I reached out to her and gripped her arms.

“(Y/N) remember why we’re here. Remember talking with Ross on the phone. The tone of Ross’s voice. His laughter.” Her calm tone eased me out of the wretched memory.

She guided me over to the couch and went to get me a glass of water. I sipped it slowly before squeezing her hand, “Thank you.”

“You know, I can get used to you reaching out to me. Feels like the (Y/N) I knew coming back.” Sami squeezed my hand back before I let slip from her grasp.

She was right, the woman I once was before my ex was fighting her way to get out again. Still, my guard was up standing fortified at the gate.

That evening was a girls’ night of epic proportions. They went to the spa where (Y/N) sat in her private jacuzzi while Sami received the best massage of her life. Afterwards, we ordered our dinner from room service making moderate choices since neither of us were paying. When our food came there was a special dessert also with another note.

“A little birdy told me that your favorite dessert was French Silk pie. I wanted you to have a slice and some New York Style cheesecake for Sami. Have a wonderful night.”

Sami whistled, “Man, he has it bad for you.”

“Shut up.” I muttered lifting the dome to see a delicious slice of pie.

As they ate and talked, Sami took my phone taking pictures of them enjoying a very Sam and Dean style dinner. Sami having a Chef’s salad with honey mustard dressing. I took a picture of my dinner sending it to Ross with a text saying thank you.

“Dean would be proud! That bacon cheeseburger looks good. Enjoy!”

I smiled the entire time I ate my burger. Finishing out meals, Sami hooked up her laptop putting on Supernatural. I decided to try and work on some stories when a terrifying thought crossed my mind. I looked up to the screen as Dean began to talk. I closed my eyes listening carefully to his voice. The low tone and smoothness of it. It was the way he said the word writer that had my eyes snapping open and a gasp escaping my lips.

“What? What is it?” Sami sat up concerning filling her eyes.

Like pieces to a puzzle everything snapped into place. All the small details that would go unnoticed by someone who would never expect it. Sami tapped my shoulder and I turned to her with wide eyes.

“Ross… that’s Jensen’s middle name.” I mumbled reaching for my phone.

Sami stood up pausing the episode, “Okay… what are you getting at.”

“Listen.” I played for her the voicemail he had left a few days earlier, “Now play the episode.”

Sami’s eyes connected to her, “No way.”

“Ross is Jensen Ackles.”

That night my dreams were filled with my ex yelling at me. Fat shaming me. Calling me a loser. Calling me useless for not being able to bear children. His looming form made me coward into a ball on the floor. I woke up several times during the night, the final time close to six in the morning. Sami was peacefully sleeping on her side of the bed.

I picked up my phone going into the living area and dialing the all too familiar number. On the third ring she was going to hang up, but then his groggy voice pierced my ears.

“(Y/N), is everything alright?” All I could hear was Dean, which meant that it was truly Jensen on the other side.

“You tell me, Jensen.” I heard him sit up as I began to pace near the window.

A long sigh came from him, “I knew you would figure it out before meeting me.”

I scoffed, “Is this some kind of celebrity joke or prank? Pretend to be someone’s friend and embarrass them when they meet you.”

My guard was shaking her head muttering, “Told you so…”

“No, (Y/N) it’s nothing like that. Misha had read some of your stories and suggested I should read them. At first, I thought it would be weird because I’ve never read fanfiction before, but your writing… it drew me in.” His words came out all in one breath.

I froze, “M-Misha read my stories? Oh god…” My body burned from embarrassment.

“Honestly, there’s not a person on our crew that hasn’t read at least one of your stories. You’re talented and the way you write for the boys is amazing. Our own writer’s are impressed with your talent.”

I groaned slumping down to the floor, “This was all a mistake.” The last thing I heard before ending the call was rustling around as if Jensen was moving from his bed.

My phone slipped from my hand as tears streamed down my face. I closed my eyes allowing my inner voices to consume me. Dragging me down into the darkness.

“You fool! Here I stood guarding you from this and still you allowed someone in. You deserve what is coming to you!”

“You useless piece of nothing! You’re the biggest joke this world ever created. Fat, ugly, even your body can’t do the one basic thing god made it to do. You’re worthless. Sucking up air that could be used on someone contributing to the world. No matter what anyone says you will always be the biggest failure in this world. You. Are. Nothing.”

I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and I tightened myself into a ball, “Go away Sami.”

The tapping continued and I reached out grasping an unfamiliar hand. My eyes snapped open and were met with concerning, piercing olive eyes. The eyes I stared at for hours on my TV. The eyes I wrote about in hundreds of thousands of words online.

As soon as my eyes opened he withdrew his hand and my heart sank further into darkness, “I told you. He will never want to touch your disgusting body.” The snide voice of my inner self whispered.

“(Y/N), please hear me out. Please for five minutes just listen to my side.” He sat across from me leaving a foot of distance between us.

I nodded looking up as Sami gently touched his shoulder, “I will be just outside if you need me.”

He waited for the door to close to start talking. His large hands rubbing against his cotton covered thighs.

“I started reading your masterlist on Tumblr and couldn’t get enough of your stories. I didn’t know exactly how to work Tumblr so Misha showed me how. I noticed you don’t get a lot of notes and I wanted everyone to notice you. I started sharing your work with everyone after sending you that message.”

He paused for a moment as I fidget with the hem of my shirt, “Why did you message me?”

His smile was more radiant in person, “It’s just as I said. I loved your work and I wanted to be friends. However, the more I got to know you… the more I wanted to meet you in person. I knew that would be problematic.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” I scoffed looking down to my hands.

He inhaled a deep breath, “You connect with Dean Winchester the same way I do. To find someone like that is a once in a lifetime chance. I want someone who I can gush over Dean with because soon I won’t be hanging out with him as much and he’s the best imaginary friend I’ve ever had.”

Seeing Jensen open himself up to me was creating a battle of mind and body within me. He was just as nervous as I was to open up to someone else. Suddenly, I did not feel so alone in my isolation. My hand trembled as I reached over placing it atop of his.

“Dean Winchester saved my life and I don’t mean that figuratively. I was on the verge of leaping into darkness when I found him getting Sammy to find their dad. I found the strength to carry on because I knew that was what Dean would do. I found that being broken wasn’t a bad thing but something that could drive you to keep working. Dean helped me to feel again when I had become numb to the world around me.”

His eyes shined as I spoke trying to hold back his own tears, “I’m glad he could be there for you when you needed him the most.”

“Then you came into my life when I least expected it.” I whispered as I squeezed his hand.

My mind was screaming at me to get as far away from him as I possibly could. To call out to Sami to make him leave and move out of the state disappearing from the world. However, my body was urging me to jump into his arms. To open myself up to him as he had done with me. I felt like a spring coil ready to snap. My mind was holding my body back waiting for my consciousness to make a decision.

And she did.

I launched myself into his arms startling him as we crashed to the floor. His arms instinctively wrapped around me as mine encircled his neck. The door flew open as Sami came rushing in as Jensen’s laughter filled the room. I hugged him tighter to me as he tightened his grip around me.

“Oh my god… (Y/N), you’re hugging him.”

I did not need to open my eyes to know tears were slipping down my best friend’s cheeks. Her voice was thick with utter joy and amazement.

“Does this hug mean that you don’t hate me?” His question caught me off guard.

Jensen’s hands kept me in place as he sat up swinging my legs across his. My arms are still around his neck not wanting to lose the connection. Now that my body was against his, it flooded with the strange feeling of desire. Sami joined them on the floor sitting cross legged in front of them.

“I don’t think I could ever hate you. Though I’m still upset you lied to me.” I rested my head on my arm and against the side of his neck.

Feeling him sigh and seeing Sami grinning, I knew this was a big moment for all of us. We sat on the floor for another hour talking before Jensen had to go back to his room to get ready for the day. Neither of us wanted to let go of the other. He hugged me one last time before walking out of the suite. When I turned around I was immediately engulfed into another hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” Sami squealed.

“Thanks, I think…” My sentence drifted and she pulled away from me.

I walked back toward the bed and flopped face first onto it. I felt her crawl up on the bed beside me knowing me well enough to give me space.

“Talk it out, (Y/N). What are you feeling?”

My cheeks burned from the first feeling to pop into my head, “I feel warm, anxious, happy...” I paused gathering the courage to say the last word, “desire.”

“I’m sorry, what was that last one?” Sami eagerly asked.

I sat up, “Desire.” Saying the very word felt weird.

She began to clap and raised her hands in the air, “Praise the lord!”

“Don’t get all weird about it. I don’t know what any of this means. My body is tingling…”

Sami interrupted, “I bet it does…”

“Shut up, mostly not in that way. I don’t know how to act around other people anymore. What is too much touching? What is too little? What does a hug mean? I have too many questions and all the answers just walked out the door.”

I looked over as my phone chimed seeing a message from Ross, “I guess I need to change that now.” I murmured as I pulled up his message.

“First, thank you for trusting me with a hug. It means the world to me. I wanted to know if you wanted to have an early lunch with me? We could eat in my room or restaurant or your room with Sami. Whatever you are most comfortable with. Let me know.”

I held my phone up for Sami to read and she jumped off the bed, “You can have our room. I will go entertain myself by the pool.”

I texted him back that he could come to my room as Sami began tossing clothes out on the bed, “What are you doing?”

“Finding you the perfect outfit. Now go shower so I can play dress up with you.” She clapped her hands excitedly as I groaned loudly.

Looking in the mirror again, I pulled at the shirt clingy to every soft, round surface of my waist. I pushed my stomach watching as it bounced back into place like jello. Turning to the side, I sucked as many rolls as I could inward, holding my breath. The air rushed from my lips as a knock came from the door. Making my way towards it, I grabbed my zip-up hoodie slipping my arms in it quickly.

“Hi.” The word came out more breathlessly than I wanted.

My inner voice whispering, “Yeah fatty, let him know that walking across the room makes you lose your breath.”

“Hey there, I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and grabbed lunch for us.” Jensen held up a paper bag from a local sandwich spot.

As he walked in, I took a moment to truly admire him. He looked like a male model in his tight dark jeans, black boots, dark olive Henley and sunglasses resting on top of his unruly, sandy brown hair. His smooth voice caught my attention.

“You could take a picture and it would last longer.” He chuckled sitting down on the couch and laying out their lunch.

I sat on the opposite side of him as far away as I could. Even though my body desperately wanted to be closer to him, I kept my distance not pushing my mental capacity. He glanced over a hint of disappointment in his eyes seeing me so far away.

Jensen slid a sandwich towards me, “I remember you telling me that you love ham and swiss with tomato.”

“Thank you.” I unwrapped the sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips.

We ate in silence as a strange tension built between us. My stomach churning to the point I could no longer eat. I would look over to him out of the corner of my eye to find his eyes drifting over me. I wrapped my hoodie around me instinctively trying to hide the imperfections.

“There’s no hoodie big enough to hide your ugliness.” The familiar voice whispered.

I shook my head when I heard music playing, looking back to Jensen. He smiled sheepishly as he set his phone on the table.

“I thought maybe some background noise would help,” He stood up clearing the food from the table then stood in front of me with his hand out, “Trust me?”

His eyes were shining from the afternoon rays of sun coming from the window and his lips were spread in a gentle smile. I exhaled slowly allowing all the tension to leave my body and placed my hand in his. He pulled me up from the couch taking my hands and placing them behind his neck. His large hands slid down my sides to my hips and I flinched.

“You do know that you’re beautiful, right?” He whispered swaying my body with the music.

I shook my head, “I’m really not. Ordinary at best.”

Jensen lifted my chin, piercing (Y/C/E) meeting , “You are far from ordinary, (Y/N).”

“You’re just being kind.” I looked away as he slowly turned us in a circle.

The music continued but Jensen stopped moving, “I have so many questions but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or have you running to the hills.”

“Questions for me? Surely, you have better things to do with your time other than sitting inside with me. Don’t you have fans to entertain?” I smirked.

He chuckled, “Lucky for you, I happen to have the day off. I normally spend the day with my family. However this year they all ditched me.”

I mockingly acted shocked, “Oh no! You poor thing.”

His eyes narrowed in on me before laughing, “My mom and dad are somewhere in Spain enjoying their anniversary gift. My sister decided a girls trip with her best friends was better than hanging with me for the day. My brother is always busy with his family. You’re stuck with me.”

“I guess there’s worse ways to spend my day. Okay, ask away but I’m not promising I’ll answer them all.”

Jensen led me back to the couch, but kept ahold of my hand as we sat back down. He laced his long fingers with mine. His thumb brushing over my knuckle. I settled back against the couch once again wrapping my hoodie around me.

“What were you thinking when I put my hands on your hips earlier?”

I bit my lower lip, “I was mortified that you were touching my squish rolls of skin. I was thinking you must be disgusted by it.”

“Wow…” He squeezed my hand, “Whoever he was he really did a number on you. If I ask his name and address would you be against me and Jared beating the crap out of him?”

A genuine burst of laughter echoed in the room, “He’s really not worth it. Plus, he is much happier with his life now and that’s all that matters. He deserves to be happy.”

I was surprised to see Jensen face scrunched up in anger, “But you don’t?” He leaned in slightly, his features softening.

“No, I don’t.” The words came out without even a second thought and seeing Jensen recoil from them as if they had slapped him in the face twisted my heart.

His tongue darted out over his lips and the electrical energy between us sparked wildly, “You’re wrong. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Any man who told you otherwise is no man at all.”

He was leaning in closer, his eyes never leaving mine. My heart pounding in my ears and my body urging me to meet him in the middle. His forehead pressed against mine and his nose caressed mine.

“I’m going to kiss you.” he whispered.

“I don’t think I remember how to kiss back.” The pathetic confession was followed by a wayward tear slipping down my cheek.

His soft, full lips pressed gently against mine. My mind searched for the file within the long abandoned cabinets for how to kiss someone. He pulled away for a split second only to return his lips to mine. I found my lips pushing against his out of basic instinct. Our lips melded together for a moment before I felt him smile against mine.

His hands cupping my face, “I think it will all come back to you easier than you may think.”

I took in a deep breath letting it out in a short burst, “I think you believe in me too much for only meeting me a few hours ago.”

Jensen was still holding my face as he leaned back, “Other than Jared and Mish, I have never felt closer to anyone, but you.”

“You have your work cut out for you then,” I pointed to my head, “because it’s a nightmarish mess up in here.”

He leaned in kissing me once again, “You are worth every second of being with you because you’re stunning, smart, talented, caring and most of all you’re beautiful inside and out.”

I stared up at him speechless as my inner guard laid down her shield, “I like this one.”

“No… no one has ever said that about me. I-I don’t know what to say or how to react.” I stammered, unable to comprehend what he said.

He smiled widely, “Get used to that feeling because I’m preparing for you to feel that way a lot. Now, I don’t want to test your boundaries too much so I think we should hang out here and watch a movie.”

Jensen moved to the end of the couch resting his arm along the back of it and propping his feet on the table. For the first time in forever, there were no inner voices to keep me from doing what I desperately wanted. I moved over next to him resting my back into his side and stretching my legs out to the other end of the couch. His arm draped over the front of my chest and his fingertips brushed against my side.

This time there was no flinching and I smiled at the small victory.

The rest of the weekend was like a dream. Seeing the convention backstage, meeting all the rest of the other actors on the show and most of all Jensen’s constant touch comforted me throughout it all. Sami beaming with pride as I pushed myself to be in the crowd for the concert on Saturday. When Sunday came, I found myself riddled with sadness knowing I would have to leave this magical weekend behind.

Sami had decided to go back to the hotel while I waited for Jensen to finish his autographs. I had noticed Clif, the boys’ friend and bodyguard, staying close by me. When the last fan left the autograph room, he motioned for me to follow him. Entering the room, I found Jensen with his head down on his table while Jared and Misha were fooling around at theirs.

Walking up, I slid my hands over his shoulders and began rubbing the knots out of them. A small groan escaping his lips sent a wave of desire over my body. I moved my hands down his back eagerly wanting to hear him again.

“Hey, if you’re giving free massages away I’ll take one!” Jared called out.

Jensen’s head snapped up, “Don’t even think about it Padalecki. Her hands are too precious for your sweaty self.”

I chuckled as he stood up letting my hands drift down his back. I knew he was fit but his body was firm and lean in all the right spots. As he moved away I found my fingers stretching out to touch him again. All weekend I had found myself craving his touch. My mind was obsessively thinking about his hand in mine or my arms around his waist or his hands gripping my hips. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and I heard him chuckle.

“You okay? You kind of spaced out for a moment.”

I nodded smiling, “I’m great. Just thinking was all.”

“Well come on, you and I can grab something to eat then hang out in my room.” His arm slipped around my shoulders and instantly I relaxed into his embrace.

Dinner was unexpectedly crashed by Jared and Misha tagging along. We found a twenty-four hours diner near the hotel that was nearly empty and we all spent a few hours talking, laughing. I could not help the sadness creeping over me as the minutes passed by. Minutes I was losing to have Jensen to myself. As if he read my mind he excused us to head back to the hotel.

We walked in silence, hand in hand. Stepping into the elevator, he pulled me into his side and I wrapped my arms around his waist. His room was on the opposite end of the same hall as mine. Stepping inside, the door clicking shut as we stood across from one another. It was like a shotgun going off as Jensen closed the distance between us. His hands sliding down my body as his mouth crashed to mine.

As suddenly as it happened, it was over.

“I’m sorry… shit. (Y/N) I’m really sorry.” His pleads confused me for a moment.

Breathing heavily as he stepped back further from me I blurted out, “W-Why are you apologizing? D-Did I do something wrong?”

His dark forest eyes snapped up, “You do something… you didn’t do anything but be you, (Y/N). I just couldn’t stop myself. This weekend has been the best one in my life. Being around you, holding your hand, kissing you has rejuvenated me. I just want more of you, all of you. Simple looks you give, the way you hold yourself and the moment you open yourself up to reach out to me. I just found myself unable to hold back anymore. I know…”

This time it was me who closed the distance between us. My lips crashing into his. My hands running up his broad chest and into his soft hair. The soft moan escaping my lips as we parted.

“I want you to have me…” I whispered in between breaths, “I’m nervous with a bunch of what ifs running in my head.”

“Do you trust me?” The corner of his lip curling upward.

“Yes.”

Jensen took my hand leading me into the bedroom of his suite. He gently picked me up and sat me on the bed. He knelt in front of me, slipping my shoes from my feet then pulling my socks off. His thumbs pressing into the bottom of my feet as I began to giggle.

“Oh… now that is an amazing sound. I must hear that again.” He smirked, tickling my feet.

I fell back in a fit of giggles as Jensen’s laughter joined mine. I leaned up on my elbows looking down at Jensen resting his chin on my knee. He lifted his brows asking permission and I nodded. His hands drifted over my calves, up to my knees and over my thighs.

“You have incredible legs. I found myself staring at them as you would walk in front of me with Sami. Wondering how they would feel beneath my hands.” He gently squeezed them near my hips.

His knee pressed into the mattress between my legs as his firm body hovered over mine. My fingers brushed against the hem of his shirt pushing it up and hesitantly touching his stomach. Jensen sucked in a quick breath as his hands paused on his hips. I focused on the feeling of his smooth, warm skin beneath my fingertips. His flat stomach is surprisingly soft.  

I grasped the end of his shirt pulling it towards his head as he pulled back allowing it over his head. Taking it from my hands, he tossed it on the floor. I took in every inch of his skin from his muscles flexing to the freckles decorating it.

“You beautiful, you know that?” I did not think he heard me until I saw the smug smirk on his face.

He leaned down kissing me, “Stealing my lines, sweetheart.”

His hands went back to my hips as his lips left a trail of kisses down my neck, “You think that your softness is revolting, but I find it inviting.”

I froze as his hand pushed up into my shirt touching my stomach. I squirmed as he pushed my shirt up just under my bra. My hands threading through his hair as his lips pressed small kisses against my stomach.

“Jensen…” The tension in my tone caught his attention.

His eyes filled with worry, “Too much?”

I took a few deep breaths and shook my head, “I’m fine, promise.”

“See there you go, being brave and pushing yourself. You have no idea how sexy that is.” He murmured against my skin.

As Jensen’s mouth neared the waistband of my jeans, I tugged his hair motioning for him to come back up to her. He smiled randomly kissing spots along my body. His lips finally met mine as I slid my arms around him. His tongue swiped across my bottom lip as they parted for him. His gentleness and care to make me comfortable broke down the last existing wall of defense.

Their kiss deepened. My body burned with a need to feel Jensen’s skin against mine and to be close to him in every way physically possible. Foreign pressure began to simmer deep within me and I lifted my hips pressing them against his thigh.

He pulled away his eyes blown with passion searching mine for an answer to a silent question.

“Please… take away everything he did. I want to feel whole again.” I pleaded just above a whisper.

His lips were on mine again as he gently lifted me up further onto his bed. Sitting up, I pulled my shirt over my head holding it in front of me for a brief moment. His eyes watching my every move as I tossed it over the side. He reached behind me with one hand unclasping my bra in one swift movement.

I kissed his collarbone as he leaned in to do so, “Show off.”

He chuckled before leaning back and allowing me at my pace to unveiling my bare chest to him. I slid the straps down my arms holding it in place before playfully tossing it at him chuckling. Joking had always been my way of dealing with uncomfortable moments. When I looked up his eyes were drifting down my bare upper body.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He smirked as I rolled my eyes at him, “Seriously, (Y/N)... you’re absolutely stunning.”

He ran his hand down my chest, between my breasts and down to my jeans. He undid the button and slowly drew down the zipper. Hooking his fingers with a belt loops dragging my jeans down my legs. I shivered as the cool air hit my skin. Jensen tossed them off to the side then began to place gentle, open mouth kisses up my leg.

My breaths were coming out in small little puffs the further up my leg he got. His mouth hovered over her cotton cover mound inching closer to it. My teeth dug into my lip desperately wanting him to press them against me. Instead he kept his path up my body stopping at my breasts. He cupped the side of one running his thumb over my nipple.

A long sigh escaping my lips from just the slightest touch from him, “O-Oh… Jensen…” His mouth had gently suckled my other nipple, the pressure turning to an ache between my legs.

“You have no idea hearing my name from your lips does to me.” He softly said before circling my nipple with his tongue.

Feeling bold, I slid my hand down between us running it along the hard bulge being restrained by denim. Jensen sucked in a sharp breath dropping his head between my breasts, “Shit…”

“I believe I have some kind of an idea.” I smiled as he grinded himself against my palm.

He stood up at the edge of the bed, his intense stare making me tremble with anticipation. Leaning forward, his fingers hooked the sides of her cotton panties and pulled them down until they were on the floor.

“Exquisite, flawless, perfect.”

“As are you.” I sat up until I was sitting on the edge in front of him.

My hands trembled as I unbuttoned his jeans and carefully unzipped them. Jensen let out a soft hiss as I brushed against his length. His hands cupped my face pulling my lips to his urgently kissing me. I pushed his jeans and boxers down as far as I could before he pushed me back onto the mattress. His hand drifting down my body until his fingers pressed against my folds.

“Jensen, please…” I begged needing to feel any kind of relief from the pressure pulsating from between my legs, “Ohhh… god.”

Jensen began to rub lazy circles against my clit. My hips grinding against his hand as his lips pressed just below my ear, “Are you okay?”

His question sober me from the drunken stupor of desire and I placed my hand over his pushing down further, “More than okay.”

Jensen pushed one long finger deep inside me with a hiss, “Fuck pretty girl, your so tight.” He slowly pushed a second finger inside.

My head pressed against the mattress, my back arching as he pumped his thick fingers in me, “More, oh please Jensen, I need more.”

His pace picked up and I looked up to his face. His eyes wide and dark watching me come undone as his thumb rubbed harshly against my throbbing clit, “Jensen!” I cried out overwhelming pleasure wrecked through my body.

Breathing heavily, my body shaking slightly as he pulled his fingers from me, “Now that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

A slow grin spread across my face as I pulled his mouth to mine. He positioned himself between my legs pulling away slightly, his lips grazing against mine.  

“Are you sure? We can stop if you want.” Jensen’s tone was tense as I felt his length resting against my folds.

I kissed him, “I need you. All of you.”

He braced himself up with one arm as his hand slipped between us. Jensen ran the swollen head along my slickness before nudging it against my entrance. The room filled with groans and heavy breaths as Jensen slowly sheathed himself within me. There was a singe of pain as I stretched taking him his thick length but quickly was replaced with immense pleasure as he thrusted gently into me.

“So. Tight.” He panted against my cheek.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him digging my heels into him. Each stroke pushing me further to the edge. Feeling every muscle straining along his back and arms. His head buried in the crook of my neck grunting almost painfully. I knew then he was holding back.

I pressed my lips to his ear, “Jensen, I won’t break. You’re making me feel incredible, but I want you to let go. Show me how I make you feel.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest as he nipped at my neck and his hips snapped against me. The echoes of our skin meeting, loving praises and the headboard against the wall filled the room. I started to meet each thrust of his, the coil within me ready to snap. His hands were gripping my shoulders holding me against his burning body. I clung to him scraping my nails against his back making him growl again.

“Shit Jensen, I’m so close. Just a little more, oh god please!” I beg as he thrusted into me feverishly small grunts coming from him, “Yes, yes, oh… Jensen!”

My whole body was shaking as an intense wave of euphoria covered me. Pulsating around him, he abandoned all control chasing his own release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He gritted his teeth as his body went rigid before slamming into me his length twitching deep within me, “Holy shit…”

Jensen rode out his release, his arms shaking to the point he could not hold himself up anymore. I groaned as he pulled out leaving me empty. He rolled onto his back breathing heavily as I curled into his side burying my head into his chest.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His concern only made me cling to him more.

I shook my head, “No, I’m just overwhelmed. Too many feelings at once.”

“Talk it out. Tell me what you’re feeling.” Jensen wrapped his arms around me holding me close.

I took a deep breath, “I’m feeling exhilaration, bliss, pleasure. Right now, I’m feeling empty and it’s almost like I can’t breath. I feel scared by how much I need to feel your touch.”

His fingers were drawing small circles against my bare back, “If that’s your way of asking for round two, you’re going to have to wait for a little bit. I haven’t come like that since I was a teenager.”

There was a brief moment of silence before I started to laugh. My body shaking from the laughter pouring from my lips. I kissed his chest, “Thank you.”

“You never need to thank me. It’s my honor to make you laugh. Bring your pleasure. Praise you for your beautifulness. More importantly, always holding you close to me.”

I entwined my legs with his as he pulled the sheet over our naked bodies. Just when I thought he was about to fall asleep, I slipped my hand over his soft member then pressed my lips just under his chin.

“Round two?”

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[delicatelyherdreams]

Pragma(tic) 1: Her Morning Takes a Turn

Pairing: Persephone!Bucky Barnes x Hades!Reader

Summary: In a world where the old gods never truly died, you must learn to navigate your way through the ups and downs of immortality. And if living forever wasn’t hard enough, an ancient evil is now threatening to break free after centuries of silence. And as if that still wasn’t hard enough for you, now a pesky and infuriatingly handsome god is trying to wedge his way into your life. Gods, work, love, and conflict—what more could a goddess need? [Hades & Persephone AU]

Word Count: 6217

Warnings: Language

Pragma(tic) Masterlist

Previous Prologue: The Gods Live

The sun was golden against your skin, filling it with warmth and color you rarely ever got. Birds chirped, filling the air with song, and people chatted warmly all around you. You could hear laughter, squealing, sounds of joy and happiness. It was so different from what you were used to.

You exhaled sharply as you opened your eyes, turning your head on a swivel to observe your surroundings.

The open-aired cafe was nestled in a quaint corner of Olympus. Minor gods occupied the tables around you, some accompanied by nymphs or other sprites, others by children, and others still alone. No matter their social situation, everyone looked happy and content. Small children ran between the tables, playing tag and laughing, while their mothers talked and chatted over brunch. You recognized some of the gods and goddesses around.

Peter, a dryad, was at a table with some of his friends. They were all crowded around a phone and laughing to themselves. They seemed to be watching a funny video. If you had to guess, it was probably a silly trend or meme from the Mortal World.

Hope, the goddess of victory, was chatting with her friend Scott, the god of the home and hearth. Both of them had a sandwich and a cup of coffee straight from the Mortal World in front of them, though the food was almost completely forgotten as they talked to each other, deeply engrossed in their conversation.

Small children, nymphs and naiads, ran between the tables in games of tag, squealing as one was dubbed “it” and began to chase the others. They laughed with childish ecstasy, displaying the joy they had in abundance.

The whole area was just alive and warm. It was so foreign to you, but you had to admit that you didn’t mind it. 

The sound of bickering voices drew you from your observations, and you turned your head to the two women before you.

The blonde, your beloved youngest sister, goddess of the sky and queen of the gods, Carol, was sitting up straight, her shoulders rolled back proudly. She had a smug smile on her face; she was obviously winning the argument—something about a dress she said she was going to wear to the Winter Solstice Gala that was coming up in a few months.

The redhead, your younger sister and goddess of the sea, Natasha, was a little more agitated, though it was a sort of playful frustration. She was hunched over with her eyes narrowed at her sister as she insisted, “Carol, that’s my dress.” 

Carol shook her head, her smile only widening. “No, it’s mine. I bought it from a noble lady in London. I remember it as clear as if it was a century ago.”

Nat arched an eyebrow, her lips curling down in a sour frown. “Are you sure you remember it correctly? I could’ve sworn that I bought that dress a couple centuries ago. No, I know I bought it from Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine in 1160.”

You scrunched up your nose. Twelfth-century English fashion? Definitely not your cup of tea. But you remembered the dress vividly. It was a green thing that really complimented Nat’s eyes and hair but with a style that did not meet your preferences.

Your sisters continued to argue about whose dress it was.

You, meanwhile, watched them with amused eyes, shaking your head as they bickered. Your sisters were always ones to fight constantly, though it was always in good nature. They argued about the silliest things that happened millennia ago—who a goat sacrifice was meant for, who got the sea and who got the sky, who got to be the patron goddess of this city-state or that one—and now, they argued about whose clothes were whose. It was comforting to see that some things never changed over the centuries. Every brunch consistently ended with them bickering over the smallest things. Their sandwiches and mugs of their favorite coffees were long forgotten as they got into it. You’d learned to live with it and just let them duke it out; so long as they didn’t actually kill anyone that is.

But listening to them bicker eventually grew boring and tedious and you’d had enough. You groaned and leaned back in your chair, shrugging off your black blazer which had grown sweltering hot in the sun as you went. Now just in a dark grey tank top, your pleated black pants, and a pair of black flats, you felt much cooler and were ready to end the arguing and your misery. “Come on, both of you,” you called, cutting them off. 

They paused their argument and turned towards you, their gazes questioning and demanding as to why you had interrupted them.

You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes. “Are you kidding me right now? Guys, this is like the only time I can see you for the next month and you want to fight about something stupid and childish?” You grinned at them, your eyes sparkling with a teasing glint. “I wonder why I let you two pretend to be older when you’re so damn immature.”

Carol gasped with mock offense. “You’re only older than us by a decade or two.”

“A decade or two is all it takes, my dear youngest sister. Don’t let the power of your queenship go to your head; I’ll always have sibling superiority over you. And, as the eldest, I say no more bickering.”

“But—”

“It’s Nat’s dress. She did buy it from the queen. There, argument over and you can stop bickering now.”

Nat laughed with an elated “Ha!”

Carol huffed, the breath from her mouth ruffling the hair that framed her face, and gave you an exasperated smile. “Fine, it’s Nat’s. I’ll give it back. We’ll stop bickering. What do you want to talk about since you’re so opposed to hearing our arguing?”

You simply shrugged. Ninety percent of the time you were cool with any topic of conversation, even if it meant listening to their banter, but not today. 

It was one of the few times you dared to venture out of your realm. Being the Queen of the Underworld gave you little to no time to leave. There were always so many things to do and duties to attend to that you rarely made it out for brunch with your sisters on Olympus. Occasions like this were supposed to be a time for you three to catch up, gossip, and bond, not to bicker endlessly about pointless things.

“I’m honestly not sure,” you admitted.

Carol opened her mouth to respond, probably with a snarky remark about how you ought to know what you want to talk about before interrupting an already started conversation, but Natasha beat her to the punch.

“Hey, how’s Mom doing?” she asked, her eyes curious and her posture hunched in to listen. “You saw her last weekend, right? She doing well?”

You nodded, a fond smile pulling at your lips. Out of all your siblings, you were probably the closest to your mother, Rhea. She made a trip downstairs to see you almost every weekend for brunch and to catch up. You’d say she liked coming down so often because it was out of the way and far quieter and calmer than either the Mortal World or Olympus, but you knew it was because she loved your dog. “She’s doing fine.”

Carol leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on the table, suddenly very interested in this new topic of conversation. As the youngest of you three, she probably had the least amount of time with your mother. But, then again, she was the only one who didn’t get digested and got to see Mom the most in the early years. “Is she still working in that mortal hospital?” Carol asked.

You nodded. “Still in the labor ward. She’s the ‘best labor and delivery nurse they’ve ever had’ last I heard.”

“Well of course she is. She is the titaness of motherhood and ease, among other things,” Nat remarked. She shook her head. “I just wish she’d spend more time up here rather than with the mortals.”

“You know that some of the gods don’t like her,” you murmured. “She’s a titan. They don’t trust her. She’d rather be among the mortals who don’t know her for who she is and help them out.” You shrugged. “Anyways, Carol, how’re your queenly duties going?” You wanted to change the topic away from your mother. While you loved talking to her, it was always weird talking about her with your sisters. They didn’t know her like you did; they didn’t know her in the beginning.

Carol hummed. “Oh, you know, they’re going fine. I have to deal with people’s shit all day every day. You’d think that we gods, being as old as we are, would’ve already worked out our problems by now. I mean, Wanda and Pietro still bicker about who’s the better archer, Loki still plays rude pranks, I can barely keep the newer gods in line. I swear, once they find out they’re immortal, it’s a shit-show. They take on the most daring dares and wreak havoc on the Mortal World any chance they get. I know they don’t always mean to be a pain in my ass, but it happens. Oh! But did you hear? The Muses are planning a concert. They’ve got music from…”

And that was about the point when you tuned her out. You didn’t always care about what responsibilities came with ruling Olympus, but you did enjoy seeing her getting excited about the things in her life. She might’ve been a queen, but she was still your baby sister. 

As Carol continued to rant and rave about the concert, you failed to notice Natasha sliding her chair closer to you until she was right on top of you.

“So, (y/n).”

You jumped in your seat. She’d snuck up on you, quiet as the gentle sea she ruled over. You glanced sideways at her, your lips curling back in a sneer. You knew that look on her face and you didn’t like it one bit. “Nat… Don’t you even think about it.”

Natasha smirked, her outward expression cool and collected, but her green eyes roaring like waves on a stormy night with devious plans. “Oh? Think about what, my dearest sister?” Her voice was sickly sweet and practically dripping with honey. 

You narrowed your eyes, your heart dropping in your chest as it steeled itself against what was coming. “You look like you’re trying to play matchmaker and thinking about setting me up with someone again,” you spat. “Well my answer is what it’s been for the past two thousand years: no.”

Carol had stopped talking about the Muses and was now looking at you with pitiful and sad eyes. “(y/n)...”

“Don’t ‘(y/n)’ me, Care. I’ve told you time and time again, I’m fine. I don’t need to go out on a date, I don’t need a boyfriend or a girlfriend, I’m perfectly happy alone.” You didn’t need any of the trouble that came with a steady relationship. You’d had your fill of that over the years. Hands running down your body, lips kissing your mouth, flesh pressed against flesh… You shuddered.

“We know,” Nat said as she tried to placate you, “and we admire you for your strength. ‘You’re a strong independent woman who don’t need no man’ and all, but we think it might be good for you to go out and try to meet someone. That way you wouldn’t have to be so alone down in the Underworld.”

You frowned. “But I’m not alone down there. I have Cerber—” 

“Cerberus,” they finished in unison.

“We know,” Natasha continued. “But we think you’d benefit from some human contact once in a while. We know you still see Mom, and that Clint and Pierce visit you on their errands, but most of the time… You’re all alone down there and we just think you’d be happier if you had someone. I know I’d have already lost my mind underwater if I didn’t have Bruce to keep me company, and Carol wouldn’t be able to stay sane if Maria wasn’t with her.”

Carol nodded in silent agreement, her eyes pleading. “We just want what’s best for you.”

“What’s best for me?” You could feel small bits of agitation rising up in you as you stared them down. The world began to tint red in your sight.

Natasha bit at her lip as she stared you down. “(y/n),” she said, her voice taut and stiff with caution. “Your eyes.”

You turned towards her. 

Her body was rigid and alert, almost as if she was preparing to defend herself. She only took that stance when something made her nervous.

And that something was you.

You sighed and mumbled, “Sorry,” before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in through your nose. 

In, out. In, out. In, out.

When you opened your eyes again, the world had returned to its normal color and you were a little calmer. “Sorry,” you mumbled, your head dipping down in a nod. You heaved a sigh and pursed your lips. “Guys, look, I really appreciate you thinking about me and my happiness, but seriously, butt out of my love life. I don't need anybody; I’m perfectly capable of ruling the Underworld on my own.” You shifted in your seat and averted your eyes. “Besides, I don’t think anyone could really handle me right now.” Also, you had the feeling that no one could give you the long-lasting love you craved.

Both your sisters went quiet, their eyes downcast and solemn. 

You couldn’t help but feel bad for telling them off again. You knew that they just wanted what was best for you, but at the same time, you knew yourself better than anyone. You knew you didn’t need to be set up and that, when you were ready, you’d find someone yourself.

You cleared your throat and began to pull your blazer back on. “I should probably get going now,” you said, grabbing a black handbag that was sitting beside your chair and pulling the strap onto your shoulder. “Lots of things to attend to down under. It’s time for the weekly check on Tartarus.” You inhaled sharply and rolled your eyes, hoping to convey a feeling of exasperation to them. You had no intention of letting them know that you were over godly contact and ready to go home to peace and solitude.

Natasha chuckled. “I don’t know why you don’t send Pierce to do it. He’s capable.”

“Yeah, he’s capable, but you know how persuasive our father can be if he gets into somebody’s head. And, although Alexander is a great god of death, I don’t necessarily trust his mental strength against him. It’s just best if I do it. I know his tricks, I know his lies, I know how to resist him.” You gave your sisters a small smile. “Take care, you two. Tell Maria and Bruce I said ‘hi,’ and don’t go burning down the world before our next brunch. The Underworld is full enough; we don’t need any early arrivals.” You stood up and pushed in your chair.

Carol stood up and made quick strides across the table to your side. With one fluid motion, she reached for you, grabbed your wrist, and pulled you into a hug. She held you tight. “We miss you up here, (y/n). Please, don’t be a stranger, and come back more often.”

You hugged her back tightly. “I’ll try. When things start calming down again, I’ll come back.”

“Just make sure it’s before another half-decade has passed!” Nat called from her spot off to the side.

You pulled away from Carol and shot your other sister a teasing glare. “Then tell the Fates to stop throwing me curve balls and fucking up my life!” You slid over to her and hugged her as well. “Don’t forget, you can always come down to see me instead. I know it’s dark and gloomy down there, but I’ve remodeled my house and I think it’s really nice.”

“So you’re out of your gothic phase?”

You could feel your cheeks heat up. “Gods, I thought we agreed to never speak about that again. I liked the architecture!”

“Mhmm, and the black clothes, and the heavy eyeliner,” Carol began to list, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“Oh, shut up! The castle’s gone. No more gothic. Now it’s more modern. Have you ever seen those American houses where they’re an open concept, all sleek and box-like?”

Both your sisters nodded.

“It’s kinda like that.”

Natasha whistled. “Nice. Is it still black?”

“Of course.” You chuckled. “Could you imagine a bright yellow house in the middle of the Underworld?”

“It does sound ridiculous,” Carol admitted. 

“Exactly. The black is there to stay.” You smiled softly and took a small step away from your family. “I’ll see you both later.”

Carol’s lips twitched up in a sad smile as she brought a hand up to wave at you. “See you soon.”

Natasha simply nodded at you, a tiny smile of her own on her face.

And then you turned your back and walked away from them. You made your way to the cafe’s gate and pushed it open, making your exit.

It was a short walk back to the main road of Olympus. It was easy to know when you’d arrived because street vendors crowded the sides and people filled the streets. Gods, goddesses, nymphs, naiads, satyrs, and all other sorts of creatures bustled around, darting in and out from stall to stall. Families with children stopped to chit chat with each other, couples held hands as they browsed, and singular people shopped with a purpose. Everyone had a smile on their face, everyone was happy. For a normal person, the path would be almost impossible to navigate. 

But not for you.

The second you got within five feet of a nymph or naiad, they stiffened and the hairs on the back of their neck stood up. They sensed the death that surrounded you and instinctively inched away. Their heads were put on a swivel as they searched for the source of their discomfort and, when they saw you, they prickled further and took a step out of your way, clearing your path.

It used to bother you how they’d avoid you like the plague but now you’d come to accept it. You reeked like death; they sensed it; they didn’t like it. You learned almost two thousand years ago to not take it personally. They didn’t hate you, they just hated what you were and what you stood for. Besides, you never had to be stuck in foot traffic. 

You sauntered down the opening in the road, going as quick as you could so as not to disturb them any longer, but not in a rush. Though you knew you weren’t welcome by most of Olympus’ citizens, you quite enjoyed the feeling of the sun on your skin whenever you came. The feeling was alien to you, but it was pleasant enough to make you want to bask in it for as long as possible. 

You made your way up the road, slowly climbing closer and closer to the golden palace of the gods where your youngest sister lived. It was in her front yard where you could safely make your way home without pissing anybody off.

After all, the quickest way back to the Underworld was to have the ground swallow you up. The journey didn’t leave any gaping hole behind you—the ground always closed up after you sank in—but it did leave an Asphodel flower in your stead. 

Carol didn’t mind having the flowers dot the lawn of her palace. Most Olympians hated the sight of them and saw them only as a bad omen, but Carol knew there was nothing really wrong with the flower. The reason they got such a bad reputation was that they were linked to you. 

Asphodel flowers only grew in the Asphodel Meadows in the Underworld. Mortals believed they had a positive role in the Greek afterlife, but not the Olympians. To them, the immortals, anything related to the Underworld was taboo, almost like it was death itself. Things touched by death and the Underworld were considered dangerous and to be avoided at all costs. You learned a long time ago that if you let the ground swallow you up and plant a flower in your place, the area where you left would be avoided for decades even after the flower had died. It caused a lot of inconveniences for the Olympian people, so you just decided to avoid public places and go to your sister’s yard instead. It was cleaner and less of a nuisance for others that way.

You strolled into the palace’s yard, treading down towards the furthermost corner of the area. There, a small garden of Asphodel flowers lays perfectly still and undisturbed. They’d grown to be as tall as your waist and they shuffled as you moved about them. You tried to keep the garden as small as possible so as to not “contaminate” a large area. You stopped in the center of the garden and dug into your pocket. Your skin hit tiny seeds—Asphodel seeds—and you plucked one out before dropping it onto the grass. 

The seed sank into the dirt, disappearing almost immediately, and the ground rumbled beneath you as it began to tear itself apart. It caved in, carving out a tunnel for you to sink into.

You simply crossed your arms, closed your eyes, and rolled your neck to stretch. You’d made this journey so many times that the fall hardly phased you anymore. You remembered doing it the first couple of times and panicking as you fell. Now, it was as easy as taking a step. 

You dropped through layers upon layers of rock, finally breaking out into a chasm. Your feet hit the ground and you bent your knees to absorb the impact, straightening up when you were steady. You rose to your full height and stood tall, gazing down a mountain at the whole of the Underworld.

You’d been deposited right on the front stoop of your mansion. Perched on the top of a small mountain, you could see everything from the front door.

At the far reaches of your kingdom, you could see the place where the Cocytus, the River of Wailing fed into the Acheron, the River of Woe, which stood as the border between the Mortal World and the Underworld. The far bank of the Acheron was crowded with souls waiting for passage over the water and the near bank was organized with lines leading up to and disappearing into the judgment pavilion. From the pavilion, three lines branched out and led to the three sections of the Underworld: the Asphodel Meadows, Elysium, and Tartarus.

The Asphodel Meadows spanned the majority of the large chasm that was your domain. The flowers swayed without a breeze, instead moved by spirits who wandered aimlessly. It was a place for those who had led ordinary lives, not good enough to achieve Elysium, but not evil enough to deserve Tartarus. The Meadows were as calm as calm could be, perfect for walking your dog or lazing around on a rare free day. Billions of spirits resided there, all of them calm, gentle, and ordinary.

Elysium, with its warm atmosphere, beautiful gardens, and elaborate homes sat just off to the side of the Meadows, its entrance near the base of your mountain. Sanctioned off by towering gates and walls, it lay separate from the rest of the Underworld. It was the place where the best of the best lived after death, filled with kind, generous, and beautiful souls. The souls that had been reborn and achieved Elysium three times lived on the Isles of the Blessed which were three little islands that sat in the middle of a lake in the heart of Elysium. You loved walking down the streets in Elysium. Everyone was so friendly and not a soul shied away from you. They had no reason to fear death; after all, they were already dead. Some of the spirits that had been there long enough were friendly enough to invite you for dinner on the occasional evening when they’d catch you patrolling the streets or walking Cerberus. Those were the nights you enjoyed the most. Mrs. Thomas made a fantastic roast chicken. It was truly a good place to be.

And then there was Tartarus; the “pit”. You shuddered just thinking about that place. It was where the evil souls went when they died, a place of torture, punishment, misery, and pain. It was mainly managed by three of your lieutenants known as “the Furies.” When they weren’t pursuing the wicked in the Mortal World, they were overseeing the torture of the worst of the worst deep in the pit. It lay just beyond the main body of your realm, accessible only through a cave that carved a hole in the outermost wall of the chasm that was the Underworld. The Phlegethon, the River of Fire, with its angry red flames that leaped out at anybody who dared get close to it, flowed into the tunnel taking up half of its opening. The river flowed deep until the point when the tunnel opened up to a cave. Dark, sharp stalactites hung from the cave’s ceiling, ready to fall at any second and impale those beneath them. There was a hole in the middle of the ground that seemed endless, but really, it fed into the real Tartarus. The river flowed into the pit, turning into a waterfall as it roared down. It was a long way down, said to be “as far beneath Hades as heaven is above earth” if you read that epic The Iliad from some Greek guy named Homer. It was about a nine days’ fall to reach the bottom of the pit where the souls were tortured and the worst beings were imprisoned.

You’d only been down there once, millennia ago, when you locked up the bastard you called “Father” and his brothers Crius, Iapetus, Coeus, and Hyperion, and you never wanted to go down again. It was nothing but red and angry. The Phlegethon was even more violent down there than it was in the main Underworld as it tore through the terrain. Tartarus itself was like a whole new world. It was seemingly endless, but it only had the one exit. One could get lost and be trapped there for eternity if they weren’t careful.

It was at the far reaches of the pit, farther than any soul or spirit dared to venture, that you imprisoned your father and uncles, binding them with the strongest chains you could make and sealing them with every spell, curse, and enchantment that you could think of. Layer upon layer of protection was placed upon them, making it nearly impossible for them to escape. You separated the five of them and placed them as far apart from each other as you could so that they could not feed on each other’s strength and escape. Your uncles, as formidable of foes as they were, were no threat to you anymore. They’d gone dormant after the first thousand years or so, reserved to their fates; but not your father.

Kronos continued to fight against his restraints, trying every day to escape, spending as much strength as he could muster to fight your barriers against him. Over the centuries he had succeeded in breaking some of them, specifically the old ones you had placed when you’d first imprisoned him. He was always chipping away at them, trying to weaken them enough to break free to exact his revenge on you and your sisters.

But you’d never let that happen. That was one of the reasons you made your weekly ventures to the edge of the pit. From up above, you could cast more spells to strengthen and set more layers on his bindings. Every week you added more and more to his cage, replacing those he broke, rejuvenating those he damaged, and adding new ones as an extra precaution.

Your sisters were fair to wonder why you didn’t let your inferiors or lieutenants take care of this task for you, but you had your reasons.

For the first couple of years that you guarded his prison, you did let some underlings take care of it. Peggy, your second in command, best friend, and the goddess of magic, volunteered to take care of it while you worked to get the Underworld under control and install order. She did a good job of keeping the spells strong and watertight, but she wasn’t infallible.

Your father, the extremely powerful titan that he is, found ways to let his conscience escape and make its way up to the surface. He would get into her head and anyone else who got close and twist their thoughts around, slowly turning them to his side and against the gods.

It took you a decade to notice that Peggy was under his control. You’d had your suspicions that she wasn’t herself, but it was when she tried to pull a knife on you and slit your throat that your suspicions were confirmed. It broke your heart to have Cerberus restrain her while you reached into her head and yanked Kronos out. Her screams still haunt you to this day. 

But from that day on, while Peggy was recovering, it was you that took care of the cage. That was how it should’ve been in the beginning, but you’d let her take on that responsibility for you. Never again would you subject another being to that. You did not know what it was like to have him in your head, but you had an idea of what it was like in his, and you couldn’t bear inflicting that kind of pain again. So, in addition to making frequent check-ups on the men and women who worked for you to make sure there wasn’t any trace of his influence, you took it upon yourself to personally deal with strengthening his prison every week.

Which was what you had to do right now.

With a heavy sigh, you turned back to look at your mansion and whistled.

At once, a crash, bang, thud, and whimper broke the silence and you could see a large black mass barreling at you from inside the house. The hulking figure shot through a wide doggy door just to the side of your front door and charged at you. 

Your entire face lit up with a laugh as Cerberus attacked you, jumping up to place his paws on your chest so he could have easy access to lick your face. Thankfully he was in his small form so there was only one head trying to lovingly maul you. If he had been full-sized, you’d have an issue. 

At his full height, Cerberus was as tall as your mountain in the Underworld, with three large heads that could see almost everything. When he wasn’t around you in his small size, he’d stand at the gates of the Underworld, guarding the borders and making sure that the rogue spirits didn’t escape. He seemed ferocious and scary because he closely resembled a large black wolf with deep red eyes, but he was really a gentle giant and your metaphorical baby.

You lifted your head up to avoid his eager tongue, instead allowing him to attack your neck as your laughter rang out in the still air. “Cerberus! Down, boy! Down! Yes, it’s good to see you too.” Once you’d gotten him calmed down, you crouched so you were at his eye level and scratched him behind the ears. “Who’s a good boy?”

He barked as if to say, “Me! Me! I am!”

You simply grinned at him and leaned forward to press your forehead to his, a common gesture of affection for you with him. “I’ve gotta go make sure Father hasn’t done anything stupid in a week, you wanna come with me?”

As if it was even a question. Cerberus always accompanied you on your trips, acting as a good guard dog to protect you from some of the spirits that dwelled on the pit’s edges—not that you really needed it, you just loved his company.

“Let’s go.” You straightened up and started to walk down the mountain path.

Cerberus kept perfect pace with you. He knew the way almost as well as you did.

Down the mountain and through the Asphodel Meadows. Cross the Meadows to the Phlegethon and follow the river to the mouth of the cave. Then it was a straight shot into the pit where you could cast your spells. Simple, easy, quick.

You knew the way by heart, not even bothering to look up as you went. Asphodel flowers crunched under your flats as you crossed the Meadows and spirits parted for you to get through; not that they needed to, they were just being polite.

You and Cerberus strolled through the Meadows, coming up to the Phlegethon and following it towards Tartarus.

You had to force your feet to walk as you got closer, a sense of unparalleled dread washing over you. Shivers crept down your spine and the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. Tartarus was always a daunting place, but today it almost seemed… more so. And as soon as you took one step into the entrance, you knew that something was seriously wrong.

You stopped short, your feet planted into the ground. Your stomach dropped and every warning alarm you had was going off in your head. 

Cerberus had frozen, his ears flattened against his head and his lips pulled back in a snarl. His whole body was positioned to pounce at the drop of a hat.

You rolled your shoulders back and narrowed your eyes. The world began to tint red at the edges, the color slowly creeping in to cover your entire vision. With this new sight, you could see deeper into the tunnel where you saw figures writhing closer and closer to the pit. Something was in the cave, something that didn’t belong.

You grit your teeth and nodded your head towards Cerberus. “Go get Aunt Peggy,” you commanded in a low voice.

He didn’t need to be told twice and took off running as soon as the words left your lips.

You didn’t take your eyes off the mouth of the cave as you extended your hand, calling forth into being your weapon: a sleek black bident that was as tall as you were. Forged for you by the cyclopes millennia ago when you first fought your father, your vibranium bident was a formidable weapon. It was a lot like your sister’s trident, but with two prongs instead of three that branched out from the spear at the height of your chin. Your bident was your primary weapon used for fighting. It allowed you to manipulate spirits and channel magic, morph terrain, and wield the energy of the Underworld, among other things. Plus it was good for stabbing. 

You tightened your grip around the bident’s shaft and lifted it off the ground, moving slowly into the cave. Your feet never made a sound as you stepped closer and closer to the writhing mass. As you neared the souls, your fingers began to turn white with how tight you were holding your weapon, raising it to strike at any second. You were prepared to fight off a small militia of evil souls trying to escape, but what you found when you reached them was not a coup preparing to strike. 

No, the souls were, instead, swarming around a figure.

You muscled your way in through the crowd, using your bident to shove the spirits out of the way and dissipate them. You got to the center of their swarm and looked down. But instead of seeing an animal corpse or something of the likes, you saw something far more serious: a man.

The man seemed to be about your physical age, but you could tell almost right away from the aura he radiated that, like you, he was probably much older than he looked. His short dark hair was tousled and matted, no doubt from the spirits grabbing at it, and his clothes—what once seemed to be a pristine white shirt and jeans—were torn with claw marks and black with dirt. His shocking blue eyes stared up at the ceiling of the chasm, full of despair and hopelessness. He’d obviously started to lose hope that he’d ever escape the clutches of evil that held him tight.

You didn’t have much time to register who he was or what he was doing in Tartarus. You were just in shock that this man, this very alive man, had made it into your domain without you knowing. Your grip slackened and you stared down at him, surprise rising up in you with rage boiling up behind it as the only words you could manage to speak were, “Oh fuck.”

Next 2: He Becomes a Trespasser

[zwritestuff]

Crossing All The Lines (YueKi) - One-shot

A/N: I'm trying to dip my toes in the atla fandom, and I saw that it's yueki week! I wanted to contribute with the cause, so here's a fic combining today's prompts: modern au + song fic. The fic is loosely inspired by Girls like Girls, by Hayley Kiyoko, because i was obssesed with that song wayyyy before I came out as a lesbian. Hope yall like it! Pls do tell me if they feel ooc, I'm still quite new to writing atla. ( @yuekiweek )

Summary: Yue and Suki have been best friends since they were four, and over the years, they chose each other over everyone all over again. 

[Also on AO3!]

***

For as long as they can remember, Suki and Yue have been best friends. They met through Sokka, Yue’s neighbor and son of one of her dad’s friends, when they were just four years old. 

Suki was Sokka’s play-buddy thanks to their mothers, and one day, while they were having one of their usual playdates during the weekend, Arnook came knocking at the door, asking in a very hurried manner if they could watch over Yue while he went to the hospital. Kaya hadn’t asked, but she knew it had to do with Yue’s mother, so she rushed her into the living room where Sokka and Suki were playing.

“Suki, this is Yue, my best friend!” Sokka had said, excitedly waving his arms around and pulling Yue in for a hug. Yue, shy as she always was, had blushed before muttering a “nice to meet you.”

Suki, on the other hand, had stuck up her nose, folded her arms and pouted. “I thought I was your best friend!” She said, indignantly, and Sokka hurried to clarify that she was also her best friend. Suki laughed after a second, saying it was a joke, and greeted Yue with another hug. “Do you wanna play with my dolls? They’re warriors! Just like Kyoshi, you know Kyoshi? I never miss an episode of the Kyoshi Adventures!”

Yue nodded, not talking much at first, but once Suki started to tell her about the intricate plans the evil man, represented by Sokka’s action figure, had to take down the Kyoshi warriors, Yue became a lot more talkative, voicing her concerns for the dolls’ wellbeing.

Sokka complained about being left out, because playing with dolls was “a girls thing”, but ended up participating in their games when Suki offered him to do the voice of the hero that battles with the Kyoshi warriors.

And just like that, they became inseparable.

Their friend group had a few additions over the years, and of course they appreciated Aang’s dumb jokes that only made Katara laugh, Katara’s constant invitation to her swimming competitions, Toph’s tough love, and Zuko’s theater kid antics; but Yue and Suki always chose each other, no matter what the situation was. 

Then they hit their teenage years, and Sokka asks Yue out on a date on a sunny day of Spring. Like a real date. A romantic one.

Yue says yes, and almost immediately after she crashes at Suki’s house and tells her about it. There’s silence for a long second, before Suki speaks.

“I mean, that’s great! But…”

“But?” Yue looks at her expectantly, leaning in ever so slightly.

They’re in Suki’s room, sitting under the window, and it’s starting to be warm enough for the heat to be just a notch unbearable. Or so Yue thinks.

Suki looks at her with a doubtful gaze. “Do you like Sokka? Or did you, y’know, just say yes to not make things awkward,” she asks softly, letting her hand fall on top of Yue’s.

That’s a question Yue wasn’t expecting, certainly; she thinks Sokka is cute, as everyone does, and she’s fond of him in many ways she can’t express with words, and she knows she loves him as a brother—but she hasn’t considered liking him in a romantic way until he asked her out.

So she just shrugs, “I don’t know,” she merely replies, and Suki cocks a brow, asking what she means. Yue shrugs again. “I think I could grow to like him.”

“But you don’t like him, now.” Is more of a statement than a question, but Suki adds the vocal fry nonetheless.

“Not in the way he wants me to, yet,” Yue insists, coming off a little too defensive.

There's an awkward silence hanging for a second too long, and Suki gives Yue's hand a squeeze.

“Just-- just don't hurt him, or yourself, okay?” Suki says, tentatively, carefully. And the emotion in her eyes is one Yue can't quite put a finger on.

Either way, Yue presses her forehead on Suki's shoulder, and brings her hand to her lips, leaving a soft kiss.

“I promise, Su.” 

Suki looks away, and if Yue didn't know better, she'd say her cheeks have a slight pink color. Before she gets a wrong idea ingrained in her brain, she resolves that it’s just the heat.

 ***

 Yue goes on a date with Sokka, and then another one, and another one, and who knows how many dates have they gone on when he finally asks her to be his girlfriend? Not Yue, certainly.

But Suki seems to be counting pretty closely.

“Do you think is it too soon? I mean, it hasn’t been that long,” Yue wonders aloud, laying in her bed with her head hanging upside down from the border.

“Well, it’s been three months, and you’ve been going out like three times a week—I’d say it’s fair enough,” she replies, doing her stretches before she leaves for her Karate class. 

Yue looks at her, surprised. “I didn’t know you were keeping count,” she comments, straightening up her position.

Suki once again evades her gaze, “I’m not.”

“Then why—”

“I gotta go,” Suki cuts her off, suddenly grabbing her backpack. “My mom can’t drive me, I gotta walk, I’ll text you when I’m off.” She walks up to the door, and is about to leave when she turns around, giving Yue one last look. “For what’s worth, I think you made a good decision. You and Sokka seem really happy together.”

Suki leaves the room before Yue can tell her about the awkwardness that pools in her stomach whenever she’s alone with Sokka, the unease she feels when he tries to touch her beyond holding hands, the relief she feels when they have to cancel a date; she knows these aren’t common feelings when you like someone.

She wants to believe there will be a point where she’s comfortable, that maybe her feelings are contradictory because it’s Sokka, her childhood best friend, her soul-brother.

But if that were the case, why does she crave Suki’s touch? Why does she prefer it when they’re by themselves? Why does she feel her heart skip a beat whenever Suki proposes they hang out?

Yue groans. Feelings are too confusing.

 ***

 Sokka and Yue have been a couple for a month when Sokka’s birthday comes around, and like every year he throws a party. 

Well, ‘party’ is too generous—it’s just a get-together with their close friends, food, and music a tad louder than he’s usually allowed to. Sokka insists they all have to be dressed to the nines, because it’s his eighteenth birthday and he’s now a “man.” Suki, Katara and Toph tell him, almost at the same time and with a playful eye-roll, that being eighteen doesn’t make him any less dumb.

“Why can’t you all be nice to me on my own birthday?” He complains, pulling Yue closer to him as she laughs softly, “My girlfriend is ten times better than all of you!”

Suki notices how Yue stiffens ever so slightly before easing into his embrace, albeit reluctantly. She doesn’t say anything, why would she?

So she just sits back and watches.

But the thing is, Suki knows Yue like the back of her hand, and there’s no way she doesn’t pick up on the way she leans away from Sokka whenever she gets the chance, and the smile that doesn’t reach her eyes whenever Sokka tells her he loves her.

Suki just sips on her drink, and when they disappear for what feels like forever and come back looking relieved, she doesn’t say anything. 

Not even when Yue curls up against her side for the rest of the night, and Sokka doesn’t try  to reach for her anymore.

 ***

 The next morning, when Suki goes to visit Yue, the first thing she tells her is that she broke up with Sokka last night. Suki just stares at her, wide-eyed, but it’s not like she didn’t see it coming.

“What? Why?” She asks, baffled, and Yue just shrugs.

“It wasn’t working out,” she says, flatly, like it doesn’t need much explanation. Yue cocks an accusatory brow, poking Suki’s ribs. “Don’t act like you couldn’t tell, Su,” Yue continues, moving closer to Suki. She tucks her legs under her body as Suki scrambles to find an answer in time. 

“But-- Sokka,” it’s the first thing she says, “he really likes you, and everything seemed well yesterday. What went wrong?” Suki frowns, visibly confused, but she can’t say she’s all that sad about their friends’ relationship ending, not really.

Of course, she loves Sokka like any other of his friends, and she’s already making a mental note to check on him once she leaves Yue’s house—but she can’t say she didn’t wish once or twice that Yue would stop forcing herself to like Sokka, to stop recoiling when he tried to touch her and pretend it was all fine. 

And she can’t say she didn’t wish for Yue to like her back ever since they were fourteen.

Yue gives a long sigh before speaking, letting her head fall against the back of the sofa. “Sokka’s great, don’t get me wrong. He was a good boyfriend, best I’ve ever had, actually,” she says with a teasing tone, and Suki gives a dry laugh. She never had any other boyfriend, but whatever. Yue stares into Suki’s eyes, a feeling she can’t quite put a finger on shining in them, and Suki stops breathing for a second when she reaches for her hand. “But he wasn’t you.”

Suki could swear she feels her heart ringing in her ears. She blinks repeatedly, before she actually processes what she just said.

And she laughs awkwardly, because she’s sure her ears are deceiving her, that Yue’s just pranking her and what she said doesn’t actually mean what Suki wants it to mean. But when Yue doesn’t laugh along, Suki blushes furiously.

“Suki,” Yue goes on, giving Suki’s hand a slight squeeze. “Sokka and I ended things because he knew that, while I loved him platonically, he would never be able to compete with--with what I feel for you.” Her voice is soft and low, filled with sweetness and adoration.

Suki licks her lips, sucking in a sharp breath as her heart aches with fondness.

“Did you have to break up with him on his birthday, though?” Suki inquires, a shit eating grin taking over her face. Yue scrunches up her nose, nestling against Suki’s chest, hiding her face.

“Don’t remind me!” She screeches with embarrassment, “I wish it could’ve been later, but Sokka was getting suspicious, and it really didn’t help that you and I are attached at the hip. He said he knew, in some way, but he wanted to give it a try instead of regretting having never tried it.” Yue shrugs, fidgeting with her hair, and Suki chuckles. Yeah, that sounds like Sokka.

There’s an awkward silence hanging for a little too long, heavy with lingering words and stolen glances, until Suki breaks it. 

“So, I think this is the moment where I ask you out on a date, isn’t it?” She tentatively says, and the smile Yue gives her in return makes her heart speed up.

Yue doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even give her as much of a nod when she closes the space between them in a kiss. Suki sigh happily against her lips, thinking that she’s been waiting for this for a long time.