#happy new year this is my present to you:)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
hannieehaee · 3 days ago
Text
LO$ER=LO♡ER
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
18+ / mdi
summary: jihoon's been pushed aside and ostracized from the moment he was born. completely alone, with no family and only a handful of friends, he's been too beaten down to expect anything good with the shitty cards life has dealt him. when he's presented with his new coworker, it's hard to not fantasize about her, but he'll never actually allow himself to believe she could ever look like him with anything but pity — just like everyone else.
content: loser!jihoon, antisocial!jihoon, sociallyawkward!jihoon, insecure!jihoon, sunshine!reader, jihoon is basically just a complete loser with horrible luck who's never felt true happiness (sorry), mentions of bullying, mentions of jihoon's sad past, sunshine!reader, slowburn, lots of worldbuilding but its just so u can feel sorry for jihoon lol, coworkers au, pining, miscommunication, afab reader, smut, sub!jihoon, virgin!jihoon, handjob, body worship, nipple play, dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 14k
a/n: this was my fave concept to write so far honestly hehe
masterlist
Every week was the same.
Jihoon would get up, fix his overgrown hair the best he could, and take the train over to work.
This was as far as he'd gotten in life; an overly repetitive existence with no sense of joy within it.
He should've been happy. Things were better now. Being 27 with a stable job and no real issues in his life should be something to be grateful for, yet Jihoon found himself being completely displeased with his life.
Surely there must be more to life than this, right? A lonely and loveless life that appeared to be leading him nowhere. But still, things were better than before.
It was hard for Jihoon to speak of his childhood, much less his teenage years (or even his college life). It was all too grim. He'd grown to accept it, to let it all go, but the past had made him who he was, and he knew his current self was to blame for his loneliness. For his lack of love.
And so he continued his daily routine, living day after day with no change in sight. He accepted this with a flat smile, grateful that things were just fine. Not good, not great, not even varied, but just fine.
This week, though, finally had something different. But to Jihoon that was usually bad news.
Were you bad news?
You were the brand new thing in his life.
It was your first week in his office. A brand new face. A very pretty face.
Jihoon never thought about such things. He'd never had any romantic experience in his life. He had a long distance girlfriend once, but even that didn't work out. Too much distance, too many lies, too many complications. Jihoon just wasn't made for love.
So he never thought of such things again.
It was rare for him to even see a pretty girl on his day to day. His morning commute was far too early and filled with people way too old for him to even look in the eye without feeling disrespectful. His workplace, although consisted of a variety of people, was not a place where he felt very welcome initiating friendships or anything of the sort. Cliques had ended in high school, he thought, yet he found himself at the bottom of the food chain among his coworkers. He wasn't liked and was deliberately avoided by everyone around him.
Until you came along.
Finding you beautiful was no surprise to Jihoon. It was the most obvious thing in the world. Putting appearances aside, you were sunshine personified. Smart, confident, hardworking, gentle, nice, beautiful. You were everything anyone could ever want. At times Jihoon even wondered whether he wanted you or if he just wanted to be like you.
You'd caused an immense impression in him within the short time in which he'd known you.
He hadn't really gotten to know you on a personal level yet. But you had extended him an olive branch upon the first meeting, which was a memory that had implanted itself on his mind. It was rare for Jihoon to come by good memories.
This was the first time he'd felt accepted in a very long time. Yet the fears of it turning around and slapping him in the face (like in so many prior instances) was too big for him to really consider you good news in his life.
It was kind of embarrassing looking back at it. Jihoon hadn't been expecting you (how could he have?), but you suddenly showed up at his cubicle accompanied by one of his coworkers, Doyle.
Doyle wasn't someone Jihoon thought too much about — or at least he tried not to. He was the classic high school bully, except in a corporate-world wrapping. Jihoon had dealt with bullies his whole life, he'd become desensitized to it by now. Still, it bothered him to see him standing next to you. He hadn't met you yet, but he was immediately disheartened by the new girl at the office looking buddy-buddy with someone he considered an adversary.
What had been surprising to Jihoon, though, was your complete disinterest in Doyle's obvious advances.
It was pretty often that Doyle would attempt to assert his dominance by putting Jihoon down in front of other coworkers. He'd tease him and patronize him in front of anyone to see in order to show others who was in charge. And it was not Jihoon, that was for damn sure.
Jihoon got up as soon as he sensed a presence at his cubicle, somehow managing to stumble over his feet as he did so. When he looked up, he was not expecting you, yet there you were. Beautiful, smiling down at him with genuine interest in your eyes. You didn't know him, but you had kindness in your eyes. He could tell.
He stumbled over an introduction as Doyle interrupted him, telling you Jihoon's name and position at the company for him. Unwarranted and once again showing that if he so wished, he could speak over Jihoon.
But you'd interrupted him in return, turning to Jihoon to extend your hand with that smile never leaving your lips.
"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," you'd smiled as he felt fire at the mere handshake.
"Hi, I, uhm, I'm Jihoon. Lee Jihoon. I didn't realize we had someone new coming. It's nice to meet you. You- If you need anything, you can always ask me," he slapped himself mentally when he said it. He stuttered his way through it like a fucking loser. His immediate attraction to you was too obvious. Doyle's smirk as he stood beside you told him all he needed to know.
"Oh, that's so nice, thank you! I'm right next door. Well- right next cubicle, so I'll probably take you up on that sooner or later," you laughed at your own attempt of a joke.
Jihoon couldn't help chuckling back, ignoring Doyle as he patted your shoulder, laughing along. Jihoon noticed a short-lived discomfort in your eyes at the action, one which died when your eyes went back to him.
Was he imagining it, or were you showing preference towards Jihoon?
"Well, let's not bother our little Jihoonie here any longer," Doyle interrupted once more, "It's almost lunch time," he leaned in to tell you, looking down at Jihoon, "We all usually go to a burger joint nearby — Jihoonie here likes to stay in, so we try to stay out of his way."
That wasn't entirely true.
Once upon a time, Jihoon did attempt to join the rest of his coworkers in outings, but he was always alienated. After a few too many slights about his hair, his height, his weird choice in clothing, or even just his personality, he decided to stray away from anything that wasn't strictly professional when it came to his coworkers. He was always the butt of the joke, so he made the decision to isolate in the office with a cold sandwich he packed for himself every day.
Sometimes his friends Soonyoung and Mingyu from accounting would join him, but there was usually not enough time to see them during regular working hours. This left him alone most of the time.
Your face seemed to deflate at Doyle's words. Whether it was out of pity for Jihoon or annoyance at Doyle's overzealous confidence around you, he wasn't sure.
"Oh, I actually brought a packed lunch," you told Doyle before turning to face Jihoon again, "Would it be okay if I stay in with you?", you looked at him with expectant eyes.
"You wanna, uhm, have lunch with me?", he asked dumbly and you nodded, "Y-yeah, that'd be nice, yes," he attempted a shy smile, succeeding when you returned it.
Doyle cleared his throat, interrupting the silent smiles you and Jihoon were sharing.
"Well, I could stay in with you if you want, I-"
But you interrupted him again.
"That's fine. I don't wanna get in the way of your plans. Jihoon will make fine company," you said politely, stepping away from Doyle to head over to your desk, popping back next to Jihoon with a brown paper bag.
Doyle looked dumbfounded for a few moments before masking it with a tight smile. Jihoon simply stood there as you pulled up a chair and settled it on Jihoon's desk, paying no mind to Doyle.
"I guess I'll leave you two to it. I'll keep showing you around after lunch. You have my number if you need anything," Doyle made emphasis on that last statement, offering you what looked like a genuine smile before giving Jihoon a look that told him he still felt victorious in the end.
"Thanks, Doyle! Bye!," you smiled back before turning to Jihoon.
Lunch was incredibly awkward for Jihoon. But that wasn't your fault. You'd been incredibly nice, asking him questions and keeping the conversation going despite the mumbly, shy mess Jihoon was. The conversation was entirely carried by you, with you surprisingly taking an interest in him. Every word, every gesture, they all led him to believe you were genuinely nice.
At the same time, he felt entirely delusional.
It wasn't often that people were nice to him, so it was likely he was building it up to be more than it actually was. You likely did not want to stay in with him, but after Doyle brought up that Jihoon was the only one in the office during lunch break, you had no option but to join him since you also planned to stay in. However, you were a good team player, Jihoon believed. Not many people would sacrifice their lunch to stay in with the black sheep of the office just to rid yourself of any possible awkwardness. Jihoon knew damn well many previous coworkers had gone out of their way to avoid him before.
But despite the belief that you simply pitied him, Jihoon missed your time spent together the moment it ended. He felt shy and blushed bright red at every single word uttered from you, but it had been the nicest interaction he'd had in a long time (a long, long time).
That had happened last Wednesday, repeating itself on Thursday, Friday, and then a whole weekend was spent with Jihoon solely thinking about you. Time that he usually spent reading or playing chess online was instead used up to think about you. It was mostly to overthink every tiny interaction and panic over it, but it was was still preoccupied by you.
But he also thought about other things.
How beautiful he found you to be. How nice, funny, hardworking, smart and riveting you were (despite this being an assessment he'd made in less than a week of knowing you). This was Jihoon's first crush in ... he couldn't even remember how long.
And it was terrible.
Every crush he'd ever had had turned out terribly. Harmless elementary school crushes turned into pranks pulled by his classmates in order to embarrass him. Prepubescent middle school crushes became false confessions that led to public embarrassment. Hopeless high school crushes were nothing but a farse that led him into giving up altogether.
Throughout his practically non-existent love life, Jihoon had always been met by nothing but discouragement, sometimes by simple rejection and other times by harassment from people who believed him to be unworthy of being liked. These were memories he did not like to relive, but the resurgence of feelings for someone brought them all back.
And so he was unsure of how to feel. He was unsure of whether to let himself like you or recoil, unwilling to even try.
Tumblr media
"Hey, Jihoon, do you think you could help me with this?", you asked him on Monday.
After spending all weekend thinking about you, Monday finally came. He was unsure as to whether or not your friendly behavior would continue onto your second week, when you were more settled in. In the usual cold and reserved fashion he'd adopted for the past decade, he avoided you most of the morning. When he saw you in the elevator upon arriving at the office, he stalled, waiting for the door to close so he wouldn't have to share the ride with you. He hadn't wanted to avoid you so blatantly, but apparently his past trauma had taken control of his body at the time.
If you noticed, he hadn't realized. He hoped you hadn't.
And now, a few hours into the day, you were asking for his help, and even his anxieties couldn't prevent him from helping you. He wanted to be good to you. At the moment, it was what he wanted most. He was unsure as to why.
He got up, hands fidgeting together as he took the few steps over to your desk, awkwardly standing next to your seat as you turned towards the computer on screen. Taking a few steps closer, he cleared his throat, standing right behind you and leaning down in order to check out whatever was on screen before you began to explain.
"So sorry to bother you, Jihoon! I, uh, I was just wondering what I should do when I get this pop-up? I tried looking over the manual, but I couldn't find anything," you pointed over at the screen, eyes still on it, "It's just-"
Jihoon invertedly leaned closer, eyes also on the screen. As soon as he looked at what was on display, he locked in, fully focused on the issue at hand.
Surprisingly even to himself, Jihoon enjoyed his job. He was amazing at it, and getting to help you out was just a bonus.
"Oh, yeah. It's a glitch. It happens sometimes. Here, let me just ..."
Without thinking, he interrupted you, hands taking over your mouse and keyboard as he leaned impossibly closer without realizing it. His head was right next to yours, but since he was too focused on the task at hand, he did not have the realization to be flustered at the proximity. And then he fucked up even further.
Continuing to help you, he began rambling out explanations about what he was currently doing on screen. He rambled on and on, showing you step by step how to handle the issue and adding on extra details the average person would not concern themselves with. He was so into it, he didn't realize he went on for a good five minutes, all while you sat next to him, staring quietly at the screen as you watched his every move.
That was until he was abruptly interrupted.
"Jesus Christ, Jihoon, you're going to make the girl never want to ask for help again," Doyle's voice suddenly rang through, a mocking yet patronizing tone wrapped around every word.
Jihoon's movements halted when he heard a few giggles from other coworkers resounding at Doyle's statement. Slowly, he backed his hands away from the mouse, barely registering how close he was to you when his face turned to your own, finding you looking at him with a worried look on your face — he couldn't decipher what it meant, but he was too embarrassed to even think of it.
He jumped back at the proximity, mumbling out an apology with a bow of his head.
"S-sorry, I-"
"Yeah, yeah. It's fine, Jihoon, we all know you get a little over excited sometimes," Doyle leaned over the other side of the desk, "Don't mind him, Y/N. You'll learn to tune out his rambling at some point, we've all had to — that, or you'll go crazy."
Doyle turned around after that, throwing a wink over at you that, for some reason, made Jihoon wince.
Yeah, okay. He was a fucking loser, he was well aware. The reminder felt like overkill at this point in his life.
Like a dog with his tails between his legs, Jihoon looked down, giving you one last pathetic 'sorry' before turning away. Not even chancing a single glance your way after Doyle's interruption, he preferred to save himself further embarrassment and left the room altogether. He had done most of his work and lunch was close. Taking an early lunch seemed like the best idea.
Hastily, he grabbed the lunch bag under his desk and walked towards the exit, ears barely registering a faint 'Jihoon' coming from the direction he had just left.
~
Today, he'd chosen to leave the office for lunch.
Well, not really. He'd just stepped outside, finding some empty bench in front of the building to sit at. It wasn't like he could eat at his desk as per usual when everyone else was still there. He just couldn't stay there after being shut down like that in front of you.
All things considered, it hadn't been the most embarrassing thing to happen to him, but it still left him feeling like an absolute loser.
The worst of it all had been that you'd seen it all and hadn't even reacted.
It's not like he had expected you to stand up for him. Hell, you barely knew him. Maybe it was just easiest to engage with the majority; to laugh along when Doyle made a joke, joining in on the muted laughter of all his other coworkers any time Jihoon was used as the butt of some joke.
Except that you didn't laugh. Jihoon didn't even register your reaction before leaving, instead reacting in the same fashion as a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Fuck, you probably thought he was a fucking baby on top of already thinking of him as some defenseless loser. Jihoon wanted to blame it all on Doyle, but it was also his fault.
"Jihoon?"
His train of thought was interrupted by a sudden voice, startling him into squeezing his hands around the unbitten sandwich he'd been holding this whole time.
Turning to the voice, he found you standing there, paper bag in hand as you hesitated walking closer.
When he turned to you, mouth agape in surprise at your sudden appearance, you took a few steps forward, likely taking his silence as an okay. Like a fish out of water, he opened and closed his eyes a few times, unknowing of what to say. He really hadn't expected you to follow him out.
Dropping his sandwich, he cursed at himself. He attempted to catch it, but his hand to eye coordination had never been the best, so it just resulted in him fumbling his hands like an idiot before his sandwich met its demise on the dirty floor.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to catch you off guard," you apologized, rushing to the floor in front of him, squatting in front of him as you picked up his fallen lunch.
"I-It's fine, I-"
"No, Jihoon, I've already ruined your day enough, fuck. And now your lunch is ruined," you sounded genuinely disappointed, "Here, we can share my lunch! I'll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise."
You remained kneeling in front of him as he sat on the bench. Jihoon cringed at knowing your skirt would get dirty at its contact with the floor but you didn't seem to care. Instead, you looked up at him with worry towards him. Your eyebrows were furrowed and your bottom lip stuck out a bit in a small pout. It was both adorable and nerve-wracking.
"Please get up, you'll get your skirt dirty," was all he found himself saying.
Jihoon caught you chuckling under your breath before getting up, dusting your skirt and then taking a seat next to him. The distance you allowed between the two of you was too small for Jihoon's well-being, but a part of him deep down was happy about him.
You looked down at your lap for a bit, so did Jihoon. The two of you were quiet for a few seconds, but Jihoon was unsure why. You appeared to be bashful, perhaps even a little shy? It was strange to see. There was no reason for you to feel shy around Jihoon. He was the mess here. He was the one who should be avoiding eye contact, hiding himself away from you to ensure he didn't ruin things between you — Things, as if the two of you were anything at all. He was overthinking things again.
"Jihoon," you interrupted his train of thought.
"Hmm? Yeah?"
Idiot.
"I, uhm, I'm sorry about what happened back there," you began. Jihoon almost interrupted you, shaking his head and raising his hands to halt you, but you shook your own head, continuing, "I should've said something. I know I'm new, but god, Doyle's such an idiot. You didn't deserve that, especially since it was my fault. I'm really sorry."
Your eyes showed nothing but sincerity as you spoke. A certain worry reflected in your face, making Jihoon's heart soar, crumbling with some sort of guilt he didn't understand.
He had no idea how to react.
"I- I'm sorry," he stuttered, "I didn't- It's not your fault. I didn't mean to make you feel like-"
"What? No, Jihoon, I'm apologizing. You just wanted to help me and I wasn't appreciative. I should've told Doyle to get fucked," you put your lunch bag aside, scooting over a little closer and hesitating a bit before grabbing onto one of his hands, "I'm really sorry. I hope this doesn't hurt our friendship."
"Friendship?"
You flushed at his question, "Yeah, I, uh, aren't we friends? I know it's only been a few days, but-"
"Yes! We're friends, I'm sorry," you gave him a look, "Right, sorry, force of habit. Fuck, okay, I'll stop now," his hand itched in yours as you chuckled at him, "I ... Thank you. It's really nice of you to come check up on me. Don't, uh, feel like you have to stand up for me. Doyle's just ... well, what you said. I wouldn't want you to get picked on too."
"Don't worry about that, Jihoon. He wouldn't do that. He likes me," you revealed casually.
"What?"
"He asked me out last Friday, but I turned him down."
Jihoon's hand tightened around yours without him realizing. That revelation made him feel something he'd never felt before. It was as if his heart dropped while his jaw tightened. It might've been annoyance, but it felt stronger than that. Doyle? Doyle liked you? That bit was not shocking to Jihoon. But the fact that he'd asked you out surprised him. Did he have no care for you as a coworker? You were new, for god's sakes! What you needed was guidance, a friend, a colleague willing to walk you through the work like he needed back when he first started. Yet Doyle was instead choosing to-
"Jihoon? Are you okay?"
Fuck. He'd been rambling internally again. If Jihoon had a nickel for every time he embarrassed himself in front of you ..
"Yeah, uhm, sorry. Just, uh, don't really get along very well with Doyle."
"Can't imagine why," you said sarcastically, "Is there a story behind it?"
Your hand left his own at some point during your conversation, instead going to empty out your paper bag and absentmindedly split the sandwich you had in there. Without saying anything, you offered him a half, smiling in encouragement when he hesitated to take it.
"I, uh, it's nothing. Just dumb workplace drama," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "I'm just not too good at standing up for myself."
That sure was a way to downplay it. But Doyle truly wasn't the sole culprit to Jihoon's history with alienation. This had been his entire life. Jihoon had grown far too accustomed to being harassed in every way imaginable. From alienation, to physical beatings, to even having his life threatened, Jihoon had gone through it all. Back in his youth, he wondered if it'd been something he'd done. If maybe he was just unlikable and that was why everyone either avoided him or attempted to make his life even more miserable. As he grew, he began to wonder if perhaps it'd been due to growing up without any proper socialization. His parents had, well, not really existed — something which pained him to think about — which left him sad and alone for most of his upbringing. This was probably why he was never able to properly interact with other people, leaving him as an easy and defenseless target.
It wasn't a secret to Jihoon that he was weird. And even that was an understatement. As a young boy, he was always into things that most people found strange. He was too focused on books and anything that could expand his intellect. This was followed by his incessant need to babble about his niche interests to anyone willing to listen (which was usually no one). He quickly into his teenage years that this was not welcomed by people — usually learning it through patronizing teasing or some classmates taking on physical means to shut him up. Unfortunately, even as an adult, he'd continued to make this mistake, thinking that maybe he'd meet people who enjoyed his eccentric personality without shutting him down. He'd done it at this same job, immediately learning that his input (or his personality in general) were not very well appreciated.
"But that's still not okay, he shouldn't-"
"Hey, it's fine, really," he smiled at you, "It's more than enough that you'd wanna, uh," he hesitated, "that you'd want to be my friend. You know, with all things considered."
"Are you kidding? You're easily the funnest person in the office," you moved past the subject, likely understanding it was a sore spot for him, "Everyone else is kind of stuck up, honestly."
"Hmm, yeah? I can believe that."
He went on to take a bite from the sandwich you'd offered him, humming at finally being able to fulfill some of his hunger.
"What, they're mean to you but you won't even say anything bad about them?" you gaped at him.
He shrugged, "It's not productive. I don't hate them."
"Wow. You're a way better person than I am, Lee Jihoon," you sounded impressed as you said it.
And that was more than good enough for him.
Tumblr media
Jihoon's friendship with you continued to flourish during the upcoming months after that.
Any other instance in which Jihoon would've usually cowered under the targeted disdain of his coworkers was instead met with your intervention. You'd usually interrupt, somehow turning the conversation away from him or even subtly shooting back against whoever had decided to snark at Jihoon.
The first few times had him blushing an embarrassing shade of red, stammering as he attempted to respond or even just appear normal at what had just occurred. He'd never experienced someone standing up for him, much less did he feel like he deserved it. Having your presence in such uncomfortable circumstances was more than enough to aid him, but knowing that you wanted to defend him made his heart go crazy.
Within the short time that he'd known you, it was obvious to Jihoon that, against all his attempts to prevent it, he'd developed a crush on you.
Under any other set of circumstances, that might've been fine. However, Jihoon had never in his life been under normal circumstances.
Crushing on you was entirely too terrifying. You were the most perfect girl he'd ever met — the only girl he'd allowed himself to be interested in in far too many years. He knew deep within him that he could not allow these feelings to continue flourishing, but he had never been quite good at burying his emotions.
It felt so high school. All of it. He was the loser outcast and you were the pretty cheerleader the quarterback was chasing after. The only difference was that unlike in high school, you were giving him the time of day.
Back in school, any time Jihoon found himself liking a girl, he was never met with reciprocation. Which was fine, of course. There were a few instances, though, in which it went further than lack of reciprocation, or even just rejection. Jihoon would need more than two hands to count the amount of romantic humiliations he'd undergone in his life.
There had been instances where he was confessed to as a joke, or even times when he was led to believe his feelings were mutual, only to be rejected in some cruel way. It felt like out of a movie at times.
Jihoon supposed he couldn't really blame others for their childish games. He was an easy target, lacking any familial or any sort of adult protection during his youth. Plus, he knew his victimhood was only a phase of these people's lives.
It was strange, however, that staying at the bottom of the totem pole throughout his life just seemed to become normalcy for him. He expected that once he grew, got a respecting job and found more friends that he'd move up in social hierarchy — or at least stop being metaphorically beaten down at every turn (he was at least grateful that the beatings were now metaphorical rather than literal).
You were the complete opposite of him.
In the time he'd known you, he'd come to find out that your life up until now had been nothing short of picture-perfect. You made friends easily in the office, even befriending people outside of your department you had no obligation of interacting with. And this was not new to you. You'd let Jihoon in on your childhood, telling him about your years as a cheerleader in high school, even riding that cheerleader wave all the way to college. Your entire life had been spent happy and surrounded by people who enjoyed your company.
Yet, somehow, your company of choice had become Jihoon.
Being chosen, wanted — even if just platonically — was something Jihoon had never experienced. His brain would override every single time he saw you, attempting both to not fuck things up between you and to leave his crush dormant.
This proved incredibly difficult at times. Any time you subtly stood up for him, or any time you smiled at him before leading him outside for lunch (at the bench that had now become your place. Yours and Jihoon's) together, or even when you'd simply scoot your chair slightly closer to his own during meetings, Jihoon felt himself sink deeper and deeper. His heart and his brain were constantly working against each other.
Tonight would be his hardest battle as of yet.
The two of you had yet to see each other outside of work in the past two months you'd known each other. This was fine to Jihoon. More than fine, actually. It gave him time away from you to recover from the palpitations your mere presence caused him (which required quite a lot of time).
Tonight, however, was the in which night he'd begrudgingly agreed to join you and the rest of your department on a night out.
Apparently these happened every few weeks. Jihoon had never known about them. Figures.
You were an active participant of these outings, usually insisting that Jihoon tag along, that you'd be there and would not leave his side (God help him). He'd even come to find that his friends Soonyoung and Mingyu from accounting would be there. The realization that he was such a hermit that he didn't even know his closest friends hung out outside of work without him did bother him a little.
And so he agreed. Against his better judgment, he let your pout and your wide eyes talk him into going to a bar with people (mostly) he knew hated him.
~
Jihoon had been unsure of how to dress.
When he'd texted Mingyu about it, he'd been met with a three-way call between him, Gyu and Soonyoung celebrating his first social outing in months. And then he'd been berated about showing off his 'assets,' whatever that meant.
Sure, Jihoon knew he was more fit than the average person, but this was something he usually felt shy about. He believed himself to be overcompensating for everything else he lacked in his person, both physical and personality-wise. So, it was safe to say that most of his clothes did not show off his assets.
Still, he made the attempt to follow both Mingyu's and Soonyoung's advice when it came to dressing up. Even if his crush was currently forced down a basement and locked away, he still had some dumb desire of impressing you.
You impressed him every day, whether you meant to or not. There was no dress code at his company, but formal attire was pretty much the norm, and you ... you worked with it quite amazingly, if Jihoon had anything to say. From the pencil skirts to the perfectly tailored dress shirts and blouses, you always left Jihoon working overtime to avert his eyes to more respectable places.
And so today he wanted to impress you. Donning some tighter jeans than usual (to show off his lust-worthy legs, had said Soonyoung) and a dress shirt unbuttoned just enough to give way to his chest (which Mingyu had called 'sculpted to the gods'), Jihoon moved on to his hair. He'd come to realize that unlike most other people, you really liked his hair. You constantly complimented the length and the pale tone of it. Bleaching his hair was something he'd started to do once he graduated college. He wanted some sort of separation away from his hometown when he'd moved away to work at the company, and despite the constant negative feedback, he'd decided to keep it.
He opted to let it down tonight, diffusing it after washing it to ensure some volume and a slight wave to it.
He looked fine, he thought. Jihoon didn't have any particular positive opinion about his appearance, but at least he'd gone from thinking himself a hideous hermit to simply okay. But according to Mingyu and Soonyoung, who'd offered to drive him, he looked like sex waiting to happen.
Blushing, Jihoon was unsure as to whether he wanted that to come true or not.
~
The hardest part had been arriving at the bar.
You were the first person he spotted as he and his friends walked in. The place was packed with members of your office, people he'd only seen in passing as he made his way over to his floor gathered with coworkers he wished he didn't know as well as he did.
But all of that left his mind immediately upon registering it. You were his priority. And everyone else's it seemed. Various men in your vicinity had their eyes on you, Doyle included.
Jihoon couldn't blame them. How in the world could he when you looked like that?
You were completely ignorant to any of the attention you were receiving. Standing by the bar, you were nursing a drink, leaning your body against it and giving Jihoon (and everyone else) the perfect view of your form. The slip dress you were wearing was shorter than the usual skirts you wore at school, allowing your legs to receive the well-deserved attention of anyone willing to appreciate the beauty before them.
This was the most skin Jihoon had seen of you. It made him feel like a depraved pervert to stand there and just stare, but he was hypnotized. The fleeting thought of getting to do more than just see passed through his mind, sending shivers down his spine. He had to shake his head to remove any filthier thoughts from entering his mind. He felt embarrassed and idiotic involving you in such thoughts. A sad, lonely virgin using his one and only female friend to feed himself with such thoughts was incredibly sick and deprived and-
"Dude, stop drooling. You haven't even said hi yet."
Mingyu nudged at him, breaking him away from his trance at once. Jihoon shook his head again to reset, coughing awkwardly as he attempted to negate what Mingyu had said, only to be interrupted by the other guy he'd arrived with.
"You look like sex on legs, man. Go talk to her. We'll go find a table. Come find us if you fuck everything up somehow," Soonyoung received a swift punch to his shoulder at his comment, but shrugged it off as he gave Jihoon thumbs up, walking away with Mingyu.
Taking a deep breath, Jihoon walked over to you, finding you still distracted by your drink.
Before he could even announce his presence, you sensed him, turning back and immediately offering him a wide smile. Good, you were happy to see him.
"Jihoon!," you left your drink on the counter to engage with him in a hug. His arms hovered over your waist, avoiding direct contact both for his sanity and out of respect.
Physical contact had never been Jihoon's forte. Usually he'd need some sort of warning ahead of time in order to mentally prepare himself. When it came to you, he so badly wanted his proclivity against physical touch to burn and die in a fire. He found himself craving your hug the moment you pulled away.
"I honestly thought you wouldn't come," you chuckled.
"I promised I'd come," he smiled back.
"C'mon, let's get you a drink. On me," you turned back to the bar, flagging down the bartender before turning back to him, "You don't seem like a big drinker. Is a beer okay?", he nodded at you as you handed him the drink.
The two of you leaned against the bar after that, letting silence between you consume you. Jihoon wasn't sure what to say. This was the first time he'd seen a girl outside of work in ... well, ever. And it wasn't just any girl — it was you.
"You look beautiful," he braved, finishing it off with an awkward cough.
Your body turned to his, a shy smile being hidden behind a lip bite, "Yeah? High compliment coming from you."
"H-hmm?"
"Jihoon, you look amazing," you emphasized, "I had no idea you were hiding all this under those baggy suits," your hands went to play with the neck of his collar, "Maybe unbutton it one more?", you said as you did so, "There, that's better."
Jihoon burned up. A tomato's red shade could not compare to how red his ears must've been at that moment. He flushed, breath hitching at your fingers gracing the skin of his chest. All he could do was clear his throat and advert his eyes, awkwardly smiling and nodding at you.
"You're cute," you giggled.
"Uhm, are you drunk?", he couldn't help in asking.
You giggled again, "I'm not, Jihoon. Is it that hard to believe I find you cute? Because you are. I don't know how you don't realize. You've been getting eye-fucked by those girls over there since you walked in," you pointed behind him, leading him to find two girls attempting at subtly looking his way, whispering among each other.
"O-oh, uhm, I'm sure that's not what they're doing," he stumbled, flushed.
"Uh-huh. Anyways, c'mon. I hate hanging out at the bar. Let's find a table," you grabbed onto his wrist then, pulling him towards the back of the bar.
On his way to the table of your choosing, he spotted his two friends, receiving a childish thumbs up from Soonyoung and a mouthed 'my man!' from Mingyu. He groaned internally, shaking his head and frowning at them. Once you made it to an empty table, you even commented on it.
"Those are Soonyoung and Mingyu, right? I'd never actually met them before. Come here with them?"
"Oh, yeah. I- ignore them, they're just being dumb," he scoffed lightly.
His hands laid flat on the table, unknowing of what to do with them. Your demeanor was way more relaxed than his own. It was clear to anyone around that you could blend into any environment. Jihoon, in the meantime, had trouble adjusting practically anywhere, especially at a social pool such as a bar.
"It's fine, Jihoonie, they're just rooting for you," you winked at him before enveloping the straw of your own drink in your mouth.
Jihoon decided not to overthink that (or maybe save it for later), also swinging at his own drink to avoid more awkward words leaving his mouth. He wasn't even sure why he was being such a socially inept mess. The two of you had had long-winded conversations at work many times before, maybe it was just the current setting. It felt the way he assumed a date would, except that it wasn't.
"Hmm, can I have a sip? My drink's too sweet. Here, have a taste," you went to grab at his beer, shoving your pink drink to his side of the table.
Looking down at the straw, he noticed the red shimmer of your lipstick on it, gulping at the thought of letting his lips touch it. But before he could psych himself out, he did it.
Before actually sipping at the drink, he allowed himself taste the lipstick. It was a sick and depraved thing to do, but he couldn't help himself. If this was as much of you as he could have, then he'd take it. The cherry tang it left on his lips made it worth it, but he couldn't let himself to enjoy it for too long. The drink itself had been entirely too sweet, causing his nose to scrunch up, which immediately earned a giggle from across the table.
"Sweet, huh? I should've gone for a beer, but I figured you wouldn't mind sharing," you shrugged as you took another swing of it, handing it back afterwards.
Now his eyes landed on his own beer bottle, eyeing that same glimmer on the mouth of the bottle. Without thinking of it, he took an swing of it, dropping the bottle too harshly back on the table before looking back at you. There, his eyes couldn't help but finding your lips. He tried being subtle, but he seemed to be lacking that skill at the moment.
"Oh, is my lipstick smudged?," your hand went up to your mouth. You fished your purse for a compact mirror and a set of two tubes, smiling at him before beginning to reapply, "It's such a hassle. That's why I never wear darker lip products at work," you said mostly to yourself. Then, you turned to him, plumping your lips before smiling, "How's it look?"
There was absolutely no way you weren't hitting on him. Jihoon may have been an absolute idiot when it came to any social interaction, but he was sure you'd been hinting at something all night. Right?
This was the perfect moment for him to flirt back. To compliment you, to woo you and make his interest known. If any moment was tailored for such a thing, it was this one. Jihoon just needed to grow some balls for once and be assertive.
However, that is not what he did.
Instead of coming up with some charming one-liner, Jihoon instead stumbled over his words, delivering a mixture of 'uhm, yea!' and 'looks great!,' completely emotionless while also awkward.
Fortunately for Jihoon, all you did was giggle in return. It sometimes felt both demeaning and like a relief when you'd giggle in return to his awkwardness. He hoped to elicit different reactions out of you, but that fault fell completely on him.
You eyed the bar behind him, causing him to turn back. There was a small area that was supposed to make up a dancefloor. This wasn't exactly a club, but the dancing scene appeared pretty turned up. Jihoon could even spot his two friends on the dancefloor with some girls unknown to him.
When his head turned back to face you, you smiled at him, opening your mouth to speak. Jihoon could see where this was going.
"Hey, Jihoon. Wanna dance with me?"
You were grinning as you asked. That overexcitement that was usually present on your face was there once more. Disappointing you with a rejection was the very last thing Jihoon wanted to do. It was literally how he'd ended up out tonight.
But, still, his idiocy knew no limits, apparently.
"Oh, uh, I- I don't dance," he stammered, "Sorry."
He went back to nursing his drink, eyes avoiding yours and closing off from further questions. When he looked back up, he was mortified to find some dejection in your eyes.
He needed to salvage this. He was a good enough dancer. He had no idea why he'd even said no in the first place.
"I, uh, actually, I could-"
"Hey, beautiful. If he won't dance, I'll take you out for a spin. I'll give her back in a bit, Jihoon, don't worry."
Jihoon's abrupt interruption was, of course, delivered by Doyle. Why he had been close enough to make out your conversation, Jihoon had no idea. It irritated him, though. That was for damn sure.
Jihoon knew you wouldn't say yes to him. After the endless lunch breaks you'd spent together, you'd become privy to Doyle's treatment of Jihoon. And although you never once actually acted on the negative feelings that had inspired against Doyle, you had still expressed to Jihoon how much such things had dampened your view of him.
What Jihoon hadn't considered, though, had been the very frustrating concept of peer pressure making an appearance.
A few other coworkers at a nearby table started to instigate, encouraging you to go join Doyle. Claims that he was a great dancer and that you'd look good out there together were thrown around. Each comment made Jihoon sink more and more into his seat. At some point, one of the girls in your neighboring cubicles even walked over to you, grabbing your hand to further encourage you to accept Doyle's offer.
You appeared troubled. From Jihoon to Doyle to the girls, you looked back and forth, mouth opening and closing without an actual response leaving you. An uncomfortable smile was on your lips the entire time.
It was obvious to Jihoon you simply did not want to leave him to his own devices. You'd promised so, after all. So he decided to take you out of your misery.
Getting up, he cleared his throat, "Go ahead. I, uh, I'll just go hang out with Gyu and Soon. I kinda ditched them earlier."
He added a little white lie to really sell it. His friends wanted him to stay with you, but he didn't want to force you to not have fun. He had his chance, twice, and stupidly missed it.
"See? Jihoon's busy. This isn't really his scene anyway. C'mon," and so Doyle managed to pull you away.
As you walked away, you turned back to Jihoon, but he was faster. You mentioned going to find him after you were done, but Jihoon tuned it out. Walking away in order to get to his friends, he could hear a short exchange between a few comments made by some coworkers. They weren't anything new, but they still bothered him at this moment.
"They'd made such a cute couple, huh?"
"Yeah! I heard Y/N was head cheerleader in high school. Doyle used to be a quarterback. It's literally like fanfiction."
"Yeah. Jihoon, though ... I don't think that'd work. He's too fucking awkward."
"A bit of a weirdo too. She's out of his league."
And then he was out of earshot.
He found Soonyoung sitting by some table near the entrance quick enough, he thanked god for that. He needed to at least not be alone right now.
"Dude! What are you doing here? What happened to your girl?", Soonyoung was quick to question.
Jihoon shrugged, taking a seat dejectedly.
"Oh, shit, man. I'm sorry," Soonyoung caught on, patting Jihoon on the back, "What happened?"
Jihoon simply gestured north of him, directing Soonyoung's eyes to the dancefloor you were currently at. You'd quickly warmed up to the mood, a smile gracing your face as you danced along with a few of the girls from the office. The silver lining was that you weren't actually dancing with Doyle as originally intended, but rather dancing near him. Still, Jihoon could see Doyle occasionally make his way to you and try to subtly get you to dance with him.
"Fuck. It's that asshole Doyle, huh? I'm sorry, man."
"What happened?", Mingyu suddenly showed up, sweaty and out of breath.
"That dick Doyle took Hoonie's girl," this was met with a frown and an expletive from Mingyu.
"She's not my girl. She's not my anything," Jihoon grumbled, "I think I'll just go home."
Getting up, he was stopped by Mingyu, pleading he stay and have fun. Similar complaints were given by Soonyoung. But neither were enough for Jihoon to want to stay. He'd been an idiot and done nothing to even try and match your energy. It was no wonder you left at the first chance you had.
"I only came to hang out with her," Jihoon sighed sadly, "I'll just see you guys next weekend, okay? Have fun without me."
He hugged each goodbye, disregarding their pouts and heading out. He didn't bother looking back, not wanting to sadden himself even more.
Tumblr media
"You're lying to me."
Both Mingyu and Soonyoung stared at Jihoon like puppies awaiting a treat. Their metaphorical tails were practically wagging. It was unnerving. Especially because of the subject at hand.
Jihoon had decided to take the Monday off. He'd decided to grovel over what happened. After what happened last night, he felt like a complete loser facing you at work. Like an idiot, he'd let his feelings get all muddled and made himself believe that maybe you had some interest in him. Only to immediately fuck things up and leave you alone with the guy who was his literal antithesis. Not only that, but he'd left you there without even saying goodbye despite having agreed to be there for the sole reason of being with you.
After four o'clock, Jihoon should've known that his two nosey friends would come find him. It was rare for Jihoon to miss work, so their sudden knocking a few hours after clocking out was predictable.
However, they'd been the ones to shock Jihoon. They had shit-eating grins when he'd let them in. They'd managed to sit through a quick lunch prepared by Jihoon before spilling what had them in such an annoying mood.
"Dude, she came looking for you after you left," had said Mingyu.
"She looked sad as fuck when we told her you left! Then today when you didn't show up to work, she-" then Soonyoung was interrupted by an overexcited Mingyu.
"She asked us for your address, dude! Came all the way to accounting all shy and shit and asked if we thought it'd be okay if you stopped by," Mingyu had finished.
Jihoon spent a few minutes in surprised silence after that. The belief that they were playing a prank on him was the most logical to him.
"Dude, we're not lying!," Soonyoung exclaimed, nudging Mingyu so he'd confirm his statement.
"Yeah, she said she'd stop by in a few hours. We had to clock out early to come warn you."
"You clocked out early cause you hate working," Jihoon rebutted."
"Okay, two things can be true at once."
"Anyways, she'll be here at any moment. So you should doll yourself up for her. I have no idea what she may want, but-"
Mingyu interrupted this time, "Are you kidding? They're gonna fuck. It's going to be a k-drama moment and then they'll seal the deal."
Soonyoung made an O face and gave Gyu a high-five. The children in front of Jihoon were beginning to drive him insane. And usually he would've scolded them, but their words were making him too anxious to think.
Suddenly, Jihoon got up, ushering them out.
"Okay, get the hell out of here. I need to be ready for her, fuck. Fuck. I should've just gone to work today, I'm such an idiot," he groaned to himself, beginning to pick up their plates so he could tidy up the place a bit.
"Dude, calm down. It'll be fine. Clearly she cares if she's coming to check up on you after just one day of you being gone," Soonyoung reasoned, "Whatever happened to a phone call anyway?"
"This is the romantic way to do it, Soon, c'mon."
Mingyu shrugged in agreement, now dragging Soonyoung along with him towards the exit. Their goodbyes were as prolonged as per usual, but Jihoon was eventually able to get them out of his apartment.
Jihoon rushed to make the place as tidy as possible, even fixing himself up as best as he could whilst also looking casual. The hardest hurdle was coming up with non-pathetic reasons as to why he'd left in such a rush last night and why he had skipped work altogether.
How was he supposed to explain that he was a sensitive, good for nothing, pathetic, loser piece of-
But there was a knock before he could even finish a single thought.
He knew who was on the other side, even if he tried to will you away by purely praying to get himself out of this situation.
"Jihoon? I know you're in there," you called out from outside, "I saw Mingyu and Soonyoung leave work early today. I assume they came over to warn you I'd be coming."
Fuck, you were too smart.
There were too many good things about you. And Jihoon would've loved nothing more than to take a few hours to think about all those things, but he had your actual presence to deal with at that moment.
With a deep breath, he walked over to the door, opening it and finding you standing on the other side of it. You were still wearing your usual office ensemble, meaning you'd come directly from work.
"Jihoon," you breathed out. There was a mixture of relief and worry in your tone.
"Uhm, come in," he moved aside to allow you in.
Naturally, the two of you moved over to the couch, rushing to the kitchen really quick to get you a drink — one he, of course, knew by memory from the months in which he'd known you.
"So, uh, what's up?", he cleared his throat.
"Jihoon," you put down the coffee cup he'd handed you, shifting your body on the couch to face him, "I'm really sorry about last night," you began, "I promised I'd stay with you and then I left when I really should've said no to Doyle and all the girls."
He wasn't fully facing you, but he could still perceive how apologetic you were. It made him feel like an asshole to be the cause of this. Why did he have to be so damn sensitive?
"It's not your fault, it's-"
You went to grab his hand from his lap, mirroring that first time you'd followed him outside back when you'd barely started working with him. Physical touch always made him anxious, but it was a good type of anxiety when it came to you.
"No, Jihoon, it is," you reaffirmed, hesitating to continue.
A sort of shy look overtook your face, drawing your eyes away from him for the first time since your arrival. You even let go of his hand, acting as if you'd been shocked you even took it in the first place. A small 'sorry' left your lips before you continued speaking.
"And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night with all my, uh, flirting," you swallowed, "I know you don't see me that way. I guess it was just the whole, uh, vibe? that made me feel like it was okay, but I won't do it again, I promise. I want to respect your boundaries. I didn't think you'd end up skipping out of work because of me. Fuck, I feel like a terrible friend."
Jihoon could do nothing but watch in horror as you spoke.
Every word that left your lips was more wrong than the previous. You'd misunderstood everything. But then again, Jihoon had not communicated his interest at all. You had no way of knowing that he liked you or that he'd been hoping against all hope that he hadn't misinterpreted your advances.
There was one last chance presenting itself in front of Jihoon. This was his last and only chance to set things straight. To grow some balls and risk it when he told you that he reciprocated any feelings you may have had for him — and tenfold.
But he stayed quiet, gulping when you sat there with an equally horrified look on your face. It was likely due to his silence, yet his body was still frozen.
"Uhm, Jihoon, I- I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry, I-"
"Will you go out with me?"
It had been said so suddenly that Jihoon didn't even register he'd been the one to say it. He hadn't planned to say that, especially so suddenly. It was as much a shock go him as it must've been to you. Surely his face matched yours, which consisted of wide eyes and an agape mouth. The shock was entirely mutual.
"What?"
Jihoon flushed, gulping and looking at his lap. His heart was practically beating out of his chest. This was the most daring thing he'd done in years, and its effects were manifesting physically. Sweaty palms, rumbling stomach, eyes burning, he had it all.
But at least it was out there now.
"I, uhm, I wanted to know if you'd want to go out with me?," he tried again, pathetically adding a quiet 'please' afterwards.
"Jihoon, what? You like me?"
The way you asked made it sound like it was the most shocking thing you'd heard in your life. That in itself made his eyebrows furrow in confusion.
He decided to start from the beginning. And this time he was the one to grab your hand.
"I was okay with everything you did or said last night. Trust me. I was just a coward. I was especially a coward when you asked me to dance. I wanted to say yes- I should've said yes. But instead, I let that idiot take you and- and when I saw you having fun, with- with him, I just left like an idiot. I'm sorry I left just like that. It wasn't you. It was me, I swear," he rambled on a single breath, "I do, uhm, I do like you. A lot. An embarrassing amount, really," he chuckled to himself, "And if you'd still be willing, I'd, uh, I'd really like to take you out on a date."
Eye contact had never been Jihoon's forte, and much less in an instance such as this. His eyes remained on his lap, altogether avoiding even daring look in your general direction. But eventually came the time in which he had to look your way to try and gauge your reaction.
Looking up at you, he believed to see horror in your eyes. The very last thing he could've ever wanted to provoke in you.
This was it. This was yet another rejection. Another humiliation leading up to social ruin. His one and only friend in his department would seize to want any sort of relationship with him and it was all because he misread a situation yet again and acted like a socially inept idiot.
"I, I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"I didn't know you liked me," you interrupted.
"Huh?"
"God, Jihoon, I had no idea you liked me back, what? This is crazy. I thought I fucked everything up," you let out a humorless chuckle.
"What?"
Now he was confused. Now he was the one with horror in his eyes.
'Back'?
"Sorry," you chuckled, scooting closer to him, "I like you. I assumed it was obvious and that you were just having a hard time letting me down easy," and with that, you blew his mind.
Jihoon sat there, mouth agape and eyebrows scrunched together in absolute shock. Things could not have turned more different than he'd ever imagined.
Yet he still felt like he was being played. Such things had happened in his past. Fake confessions, tricks of the mind, you name it. As much as Jihoon liked you, his past experiences screamed deep within him to back away, to not fall for it.
And then you grabbed his hand again, scooting even closer. There was a look of understanding in your eyes.
"I'm sorry," you began, "I'm not lying Jihoon, I really do like you."
Before he could ask what you meant, you continued.
"I, uhm, talked to Mingyu yesterday — I asked him not to mention it to you. He told me some stuff about your childhood," you paused, waiting for the solemn nod he gave you to continue. He tensed, leading you to squeeze his hand, "I know there's been some stuff in your past. We didn't get into details, but I promise I'm being genuine. I like you. And if you really do like me back, I'd love to go on that date with you."
Jihoon hadn't processed your proximity until this moment. He'd been too focused on the possibility of this being another ruse, another way to break him down just because of his social ineptitude. But now that his brain was working again, it immediately malfunctioned once more as he realized what was happening.
Not only had you admitted your own feelings and accepted his invitation, but you were far too close for anything other than a kiss to occur. If your proximity didn't give it away, your eyes did. Zeroed in on his lips, they occasionally made their way back to his eyes as if asking for silent permission.
And for once in his life, Jihoon was daring. Jihoon took the first step without fear of fucking things up.
As pathetic as it'd be to admit out loud, the very first touch of your lips was life-changing for Jihoon. There'd been one or two kisses in his life, all filled with instant embarrassment or simply being nothing to write home about.
Yet this kiss was devastating. It was a testament to everything he'd ever fantasized about yet convinced himself he'd never have. It was soft and barely there at first, but the quiet sound you let against his lips was all he needed to lose his mind.
Before he could pull away, shy, bashful, you pulled him back in, opening your lips and welcoming him to do the same.
Your tongues met in the middle before Jihoon completely surrendered to you. He didn't even try to put up a fight. It was unnecessary. All he wanted was your kiss, to fall victim to anything you wanted to take and give him.
A shaky breath was let out into your lips. It felt as if his body was vibrating. The immense nerves he usually felt in social situations and all their physical symptoms were present, but it was all too different than usual. They were accompanied by a burning in his stomach.
Jihoon knew this to be arousal. Frankly, it was a pathetic realization — to feel such things with a simple kiss. But it wasn't any kiss. It was you. It was your tongue in his mouth, your hands making their way to his hair, your soft sounds muffled with his own.
"N-no, not yet. Please," he found himself pleading when you pulled away to breathe.
And he almost cried when you moaned at his pleading before trapping him in another kiss, just as heavy as the last.
Jihoon was in over his head. He could barely follow along. Could barely please you with his own lips. He was defeated by you, too high on lust to be a worthy opponent. And god, he couldn't even let himself begin to think about what was going on in his pants at that moment.
"Jihoon," you breathed.
You'd learned your lesson from last time, it seemed. Instead of attempting to pull away, you licked at his lips, keeping a nonexistent distance between you.
"What do you want?", you asked, "What do you want from me? I'll give you anything you ask for."
His mind couldn't wrap itself around that statement. He wanted everything. His body was burning and his mind was reeling. Never in his life had he come close to feeling like this.
It had been many years since he'd settled for his life. No more hopes or dreams for love, for anything grander out of life. The concept of physical touch or any sort of pleasure had left the picture quickly into college. All he'd ever known had been senseless fantasies of what could be but would never be.
Yet now he sat here, prettiest girl he'd ever seen looking into his eyes — eyes heavy with lust that made him have to use all his strength to not cry and moan and whine at the effect he seemingly had on you. Did you like stupid losers with nothing to offer? Because he was the perfect candidate.
And his eyes dropped to your lips again, almost as if there was some sort of pull towards you that he could not control. Even while knowing all other forms of pleasure he could beg for, he needed to kiss you again.
"Nghn, I- Kiss, I wanna kiss you. Please? I wanna-"
His begging didn't last long, soon interrupted by something he could barely call a kiss. It was wet and messy, teeth clanking and tongues suckling at each other. Sounds of pleasure shamelessly left both your lips and your bodies got closer to one another.
The next thing to blow his mind was your body, which soon made its way to straddle his own. From this angle, you were slightly above him, now ensuring you had all the control — though that was met with no complaints from him.
His usually shy hands were forced onto your hips by your own before yours went back to running through his hair. They were liberal, your hands, in exploring him. When your lips trailed down to his neck, exploring and quickly finding his weakest spots, your hands went to his shirt, reaching under it and exploring the bare skin underneath.
"I want you, Jihoon. Do you want me too?," you whispered into his ear, teeth softly pulling at the lobe.
Jihoon couldn't think, couldn't breathe. His mind was a chorus of yesyesyes, too broken to actually respond.
"Want you, p-please. Anything ... You can do anything, just-"
Everything cut off then. Your touch, your lips on his skin, your weight on his lap.
But it was replaced by you pulling him towards the door leading into his bedroom, quickly assessing the room before pushing him onto the bed.
He was pliable under your touch. He'd be a boneless doll if necessary. Anything you wanted was yours — Jihoon was yours.
The empty weight of his lap only lasted a few seconds before you filled it back up, hands once again finding his shoulders. He felt shy under your gaze, especially knowing you could probably feel the hardness beneath you.
"I've never ... I know it's probably obvious, but I, uhm ..."
"That's okay, Jihoonie," your hand went to his cheek, soft in caressing it, "We don't have to do anyth-"
"No!", he suddenly interrupted. He became bashful when he realized how sudden and loud he'd been, "I mean, uhm, I want to. I really want to. Please."
You sighed, "So polite, Jihoonie. Bet you're going to be so good to me, aren't you?", you said almost to yourself.
Jihoon swore his dick twitched at your words. There was nothing in this world he wanted more than to be good for you. He needed you to tell him how nice and how good he was. Nothing would ever compare to being the giver of your pleasure.
He nodded numbly, mouth agape as you leaned down.
But instead of kissing him as he'd expected, the hand on his cheek shifted. Your thumb graced at his bottom lip as you watched intently. Jihoon's body reacted on its own. He needed no direction to open his mouth the tiny bit necessary to let your thumb in, suckling softly without needles any further direction from you.
This caused you to groan, which in turn made him moan. He'd never been one to have any sort of creative fantasies. Any time he allowed himself to think about sex, it was all pretty cut and dry, usually involving some faceless girl that he knew would never manifest herself into real life.
But now he had a girl — a girl he was completely infatuated by. And she had her thumb in his mouth, looking at him like he was the manifestation of her lust.
Jihoon didn't know what to do with you. You were too much for him to deal with, too much for him to function properly. He'd never imagined himself having to will himself into not cumming due to a pretty girl's thumb in his mouth, but in this moment there was nowhere else he would've preferred be.
And then you pulled your thumb away, earning yourself an embarrassing whine from him. He almost had it in him to complain, to whine and ask for you to give it back. He wanted to provide, to give you something back. But instead, you kissed him again, this time using your hands to unclothe him in the midst of the messy kiss.
Somehow he ended up shirtless, with his pants removed and sitting there with mere boxers while you sat atop him, still fully clothed. Yet he didn't have it in him to complain. If this day was full of you doing whatever you desired with his body, allowing him not a single touch of yours, he'd take it. He'd be willing to take anything you gave him. He'd beg if necessary.
"God, you're gorgeous. How do you not have a line waiting to get their turn with you?", there was a hint of frustration in your voice. It was as if the sight made you angry, like it made you so frustrated you couldn't hold back. Cuteness aggression but replaced with lust. Jihoon couldn't comprehend having such an effect on someone, much less you.
"I, uhm, I don't-"
He had no idea how to respond to your praise. But thankfully, you didn't give him enough time to muster out some pathetic response, instead opting to kiss him again, hands feeling up every available inch of skin.
You pushed him up on the bed, silently encouraging him to scoot up so he could lay down with your body still straddling his own. This felt more intimate. Jihoon knew where it was leading, he'd imagined being in this position once or twice, but never pictured it'd be anything like this.
"Is this okay?", you asked once your hands went to his chest, softly tracing shapes in it in a way Jihoon wasn't sure was supposed to be teasing or if he was just so touch-starved that it felt euphoric to him.
"Yeah, I, oh, fuck, yes, just ..."
He found his answer when your hands went to his nipples, circling them softly before pinching and pulling at them with your fingers, shutting him up before he could even make out a single sentence. It only became worse when you lowered your head, mouth meeting one nipple while the other remained engaged by your hand.
Sensitivity on his chest was not something he was aware of. There were likely countless things he was into but had never managed to explore. But Jihoon decided in that moment that what he was into was you. Every touch, every kiss, every look, every word. He held onto every single one and sighed into them, losing himself in the process and- fuck.
Fuckfuckfuckfuck.
Any further exploration of his mind halted at that moment. The moment in which your hips joined in on the fun. They ground against his own shyly at first, testing the waters. His hands gripped at your hips helplessly, almost as if attempting to hold onto his remaining sanity.
The worst part was when you reacted to it. Enjoying the feeling that first rock of your hips gave you, you continued, whining into his mouth as your hips sped up. Your hands gripped at his shoulders, though they occasionally felt up at his arms and chest, clawing at the muscle there and ensuring to leave your mark.
Jihoon was on fire. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. All he could do was pathetically whine into your lips, silently begging for you to never stop, for you to make him forget himself.
"Please, oh fuck, pl-please don't stop. It's so- good, oh ..."
"God, keep talking like that," you groaned.
Fuck. Of course you liked him pathetic and whiny. Of course you were turned on by it. It created a never ending cycle of you doing whatever you wanted to him and him crying like a needy loser, only causing you to double down. It was heaven and hell. Jihoon's body was in overdrive.
"You're gonna make me cum, you- fuck, don't stop, I need- shit, please."
His voice was unrecognizable now. Jihoon didn't know which dimension he was in anymore.
Until it all halted.
Your movements ended, and the weight on his crotch left him. A pathetic whine came from his lips at this, but he was too needy to feel embarrassed.
Before he could get up and kneel, begging at your feet to continue (something which he'd truly do if he wasn't to embarrassed by the thought), you made your way back to him, though this time Jihoon felt an unexpected warmth on him. A warmth accompanied by sticky wetness. It took Jihoon a few seconds to realize what was sitting on him, but when it dawned on him, it destroyed him.
Daring to open his eyes and look up at you, he found you flushed. Your face looked warm and your expression was far too lustful for him to handle. What caught his attention the most, though, was your sudden nudity. His brain could not process it, the sight of you in complete nudity, sitting on his cock with a single layer of his damned boxers intervening.
The sight went beyond his imagination. Goosebumps formed on every inch of his skin, and even his hardness twitched under you in a manner so pathetic it shocked even himself. The image above him would haunt him for the rest of his life, especially as he laid there unknowing of what to do with himself, of how to respond to such a sight.
And then you responded for him.
You grasped his hands, taking them away from your hips and bringing them up to your chest. Naturally, they engulfed your breasts, a groan leaving his lips at their weight in his palms.
"Like this, baby. Just touch me however you want," you encouraged with a breathy sigh.
"You're so pretty, fuck," he groaned again.
It caused you to giggle, biting your lip when his hands began to fondle you, playing with your nipples in the way you'd played with his earlier.
Your hips began moving again, though this time it was hotter, more desperate. You became frustrated with the friction quickly enough, digging into his boxers and pulling him out. Jihoon cried out at this, eyes rolling back at your hold.
After a few experimental tugs at his dick, you let go, letting it fall back against his stomach and taking a seat on it. Not putting him in yet, you began sliding against the length of it, letting your warm wetness grind against it in a manner so filthy it had Jihoon's head throwing back into the mattress.
"God, I wanna fuck you so bad," you groaned, "You'll feel so good, I already know it."
It was like you wanted to kill him. But Jihoon knew it was the mindless lust speaking. Which only made it all the worse for him. His incidental effect on you drove him crazy.
"Please, I- I want it," he cried.
But you decided to kill him some more.
"How bad?", you whispered into his ear, movements not halting.
If you wanted him to beg, to become a pathetic whiny mess as he pleaded for a single touch, he would. He had no pride when it came to you.
"So bad, you ... you don't understand. I need it. I need to feel it so badly."
But god, you were so mean. So terribly mean and wicked to him. Simple begging would not do, Jihoon realized. You wanted more.
"Need to feel what?", your hips sped up, the friction half-killing Jihoon.
"Your ... your, fuck," he gulped, "Your pussy. Please."
You moaned and then giggled, separating your cunt from his dick in order to create some distance. Sneaking between your bodies, your hand grabbed onto his hardness, sitting yourself up on your knees so you could align him to your cunt.
His tip was at your cunt, forced to circle at it by your hand as you teased both yourself and him. The warmth begging to wrap around his head made him delirious. Nothing had ever felt as good. There was no comparable experience.
"N-no condom?", he willed himself to ask.
"I'm on birth control. So if it's okay with you ...", you trailed off, chuckling when he nodded desperately at you.
You continued to tease yourself with his dick, gasping at the feeling of his tip against your clit as he twitched in your hand. The teasing was killing him, though it was too pleasurable for him to beg for anything else.
"God, Jihoon, I can already tell you're gonna feel so good, baby," you practically whined, "I'm gonna fuck you so good, angel. Just you wait."
And then your welcomed him in. In a slow descent, you lowered yourself on him, crying out his name once he was finally bottomed out.
Under you, Jihoon lost his soul. It was too warm, too wet, too perfect for him to react. His brain clocked out for the day, leaving him a hollow body meant for nothing but receiving pleasure. That orgasmic feeling of, well, an orgasm, was approaching far too quickly. Jihoon could feel his body contract on itself, insisting at him to let go, to give himself up to you.
But he persisted. The sight above him — the pretty girl with her eyes rolled back and her arched back causing her to press up impossibly close against him — had his body begging for just a few more moments to enjoy the endless pleasure you were currently giving him.
"'m gonna move now, okay, baby? Feel so good already, shit. So full," you sighed.
Your hands settled on his chest, palms pressed against it as you began to bounce. Sometimes you'd bounce, sometimes you'd grind. It was all too deliriously good for Jihoon to realize the exact science behind it.
If everything that came before had led him to this moment, he'd happily go through it all again. Nothing in his life could compare to this, to the intimacy, the closeness he felt to you at this moment. He had to do nothing but cry tears of pleasure under you, taking every bounce, ever rock of your hips, every kiss and every word of praise in his direction. If he had to go back to the lonely, hellish life he lived before just in exchange for this very moment, he'd beg for the chance.
But Jihoon didn't need to be as fatalist anymore. Not when you kept whining his name, when your eyes were crossed and your breasts were bouncing above him in a demonstration of your incessant need for him.
"Baby, give ... give me your hand," you suddenly moaned. Your hips sped up, clearly driving yourself to your orgasm and surely dragging him along with you.
He followed your instruction, just as his brain had been programed. He gave you his hand, groaning when you placed it at your cunt, silently instructing for his knuckle to bend and dig at your clit. You tightened impossibly harder at that and fuck, it was too good. It was too tight, too wet, too filthy as your moans heightened in pitch.
And Jihoon truly wanted to warn you. He wanted to tell you and come right alongside you, but his poor virginal body could only take so much before breaking. It was an impossible task to hold back and await for your own pleasure to join his. But god was it mind-blowing.
He'd orgasmed before. Alone, cold in his room, feeling pathetic due to his lack of possibility at romance, knowing he'd never find a girl to look at him with anything but apathy. Yet here you were, whispering filthy words into his ear, encouraging his orgasm with a hint of mischief in your tone as your orgasm interrupted your words.
You were evil, Jihoon realized.
Above him, you made a show of your high, providing him with a view that would surely ruin him for life. Your hands let go of his body, instead choosing to fondle with your own, putting aside your own orgasmic experience to instead destroy any last bit of sanity left in him (which truly was not much — likely in the negatives by now). Your face was one that Jihoon would tattoo in his memory, bringing back up again and again in order to finish himself off in the many lonely nights to come — he couldn't help his fatalistic way of believing this might be a one and only type of situation.
It felt endless, so endless that the pleasure was almost painful. But Jihoon could still categorically asses this as one of the best experiences of his long years on this earth.
The low after the high was still blissful. Jihoon had heard of 'post-nut' clarity, with it being sold as a negative after such a high. Yet Jihoon felt nothing but bliss as you disconnected from him and dropped to lay at his side, wordless as you intertwined your bodies and stole body heat from him (which, really, he was more than happy to give).
Jihoon was unsure of what to say, but the smile you gave him said enough for the two of you. It was a silent exchange of affection that Jihoon never thought he'd be on the receiving end of.
"Maybe skipping work today was a good idea," you joked after some silence.
His eyebrows lifted. Understatement of the year.
You laughed and nuzzled further. He must've said it out loud. Well, the effect was nice, so he had no complaints.
"We're going to have to visit HR first thing tomorrow morning," you groaned into his chest, seemingly unable to help yourself in pressing kisses there. Jihoon felt too loved.
"Hmm?"
But he was still half-dead.
"I'll wanna jump you as soon as I see you tomorrow morning. I won't be able to be discreet," you joked.
"You wanna, uhm, be official?", he risked in asking.
He wanted to slap himself. You'd given no indication of changing your mind about him. This fatalism was something he really needed to work on.
"Yes, you idiot. God, Jihoon. We're going to have to work on this," you agreed without realizing.
It was quiet after that. It was the same quiet Jihoon had grown used to in his solitary life, except it had morphed into a silence he could see himself becoming fond of. Your breath against his chest was all he could hear, and it was the one and only sound he desired from now on.
The following morning, you awoke before him, loving on him without question, wordlessly showing him how easy it was for you to want him, to love him. It was new, but for once, it didn't scare Jihoon. For once, he could see himself giving into something good without fear.
Tumblr media
to read short 2.3k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my svt monthly tier on patreon!
content: office romance, semi-public sex, afab reader, smut, oral (m receiving), etc.
wc: 202 (teaser); 2340 (full drabble)
sneak peak:
"Hmm, we have to, hmph-"
That was as far as Jihoon had been able to get all morning before yet another rude interruption from you.
Well, calling it rude would be going too far.
In reality, Jihoon was very welcoming of every single interruption. Especially since each one consisted of your lips on his, with the occasional involving your tongue down his throat.
You'd woken up early, awakening him with soft caresses and kisses to his bare chest. It was a first for him. Everything was a first, really.
He'd been defiled for the first time last night, having the girl of his dreams suddenly showing up to his apartment to fix up a miscommunication (entirely caused by him) and turning his world upside down by confessing to a crush he'd believed completely unlikely.
The details made Jihoon too flustered to really think about, but at least he'd allow himself to enjoy the aftermath of it all.
But sadly, he had to try and interrupt you again. It was nearing the time to go to work, and as happy as he was with you, he knew things at work would likely have to change due to the sudden development of your relationship.
...
find the continuation on patreon!
if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3
399 notes · View notes
neiptune · 2 days ago
Text
like real people do
cw: 2.8k wc, female reader, friends to lovers, literally black cat x labrador dynamic, you showed up one day and are still part of his life, it’s an axiom he would never expect to change. until one day you meet his brother for the first time and rin shits himself
Tumblr media
“We should hang out tomorrow. Are you free?”.
“No”.
You frown.
“Would you have said yes, if you were?”.
Rin takes a moment to reply.
“Probably not”.
The grin you offer right away doesn’t surprise him, if anything it makes him roll his eyes with fake exasperation.
“I love how you never change”.
He nudges your shoulder with his arm, hands buried in the pockets of an expensive coat.
���You’re annoying”.
“I know, it’s my whole thing. You kinda agreed to it when you accepted me as a friend”.
“I never did such thing. You showed up one day and never left”.
Your giggle echoes across the empty street and Rin finds himself basking in your usual affection, something he’s well aware he hardly deserves.
It’s true, though. One day, back in high school, you were assigned to the same group project with two other classmates and that’s when the information of being in the same class in the first place was presented to him. You talked too much and smiled too often but when it came to doing actual work, you turned into a weirdly serious, responsible student. Instantly, too. Which would’ve been an interesting aspect of your personality, if he so much as cared.
You both ended up being the only two putting in real work to finish the project but the only thing Rin could think of was that he was relieved his perfect grades could stay perfect despite the dead weight. Except, you didn’t leave him alone ever since, apparently happy (always way too happy) to have found a new friend. He doesn’t remember how many times, throughout his high school years, he had to repeat that you two were not friends. Over and over again, the deterrent had failed miserably.
Rin has kinda made peace with your presence in his life by now, despite adulthood and your careers playing a significant role in keeping you apart, whenever he visits his hometown you’re there and whenever you happen to be where he is, you insist on seeing him. Stubborn as he’s always been, in his own mind Rin stands his ground that there’s nothing tragically wrong in allowing you to consider him your friend, still. There’s also nothing particularly dramatic in letting himself indulge in someone else’s obstinate fondness.
You’re a good person, he knows that much. Patient, generous, always the first to offer help and the last to ask for anything. You’re stupid. And gullible. Way too easy to take advantage of. It’s why he, to this day, still keeps an eye on you, walks you home in the middle of the night, doesn’t shut the door like he’d do with anyone else when you show up uninvited to his house. Sometimes he brings you something too, little mementos from his travels that hold no real meaning, despite the way your eyes shine with wonder when he begrudgingly hands them to you.
Rin knows you like him. Or at least you used to, so many years ago. He remembers hearing you confessing the secret to one of your closest friends. You never really told him, a good person but still too proud to give him the satisfaction of rejecting you, stood by his side when no one else would put up with his pissy attitude, always disregarding your feelings. Even when he had girlfriends you were there, feigning nonchalance. Stupid. He remembers how he immaturely tried to get you to admit it, shared petty details of his dates, told you he thought he was falling in love with other girls. Your smile barely faltered.
Why did you do that to yourself all that time, he still wonders. But then again he’d have to ask himself why his impatience, or rather lack of understanding, led him to kiss you when you were both visiting your families for the holidays, back from college.
Rin remembers the snow, the umbrella you were holding trying to clumsily cover him too. He remembers you were babbling some nonsense about how proud you were of him, of his career, the way you always knew he was destined to great things, his blue lock jersey still stored safely in the back of your closet. Rin remembers the way he took your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours, dry and chapped from the cold. Was that truly the only way to get you to shut up? He doesn’t know. He just knows he didn’t expect you to take a step back, thank him for walking you home. The kiss was never mentioned again, the following day you acted like it never happened and he was glad he could carry on without the burden of weird expectations. Well, almost completely glad.
He didn’t kiss you because he liked you or desired something as unnecessary as a relationship, he’s sure of that. He just wanted to, in that moment. A stupid whim. And if the urge of shutting you up in the softest way has possessed him multiple times after that day and throughout the years, out of mere curiosity or simple convenience, he’s never really admitted it to himself. 
You showed up one day, never left, are still part of his life. It’s an axiom he’d never expect to change. Perhaps he finds some comfort in it.
“You really can’t hang out tomorrow? ”, you’re doing that thing you always do when you’re disappointed, furrowed brows over big eyes that are rapidly losing their usual glow as you blink a few times. He sighs.
“I really can’t”.
“How long are you in town for?”.
“A few days”, he pauses for a second, then decides to concede, “we’ll have plenty of time”.
The way your lips immediately curl into a sweet smile almost makes him crack one too. Rin also loves how you never change.
“Oooh, you wanna hang out with me so bad!”.
“Shut up”.
“We’ll have plenty of time! Because I’m your best friend in the whole, entire world!”.
“Now you’re really pushing it”.
You laugh again, something tender settling over your features. He once more recognizes the affection in your gaze and has to look away.
Tumblr media
Rin has hated October 10 for as long as he can remember.
It wasn’t always like that, as a kid it was a special day he got to celebrate his favorite person on. His brother went from being his personal hero and best friend, to a stranger he couldn’t recognize, to an adult he tries to have a decent relationship with, now. Still, October 10 is a hassle. If Sae is in town, something he tries to do for their sake, their parents always insist on having a small birthday celebration at home.
His mother spends hours decorating the living room, orders a cake so big it would require at least ten additional guests, they have so many gifts ready and wrapped by the table. For the past few years, Rin has been getting his brother a gift too. Not exactly a peace offering but the promise of getting there, perhaps.
It infuriates him that Sae still acts perfectly normal around him, never hostile, indifferent at best. They barely talk to each other but Rin doesn’t want to spend his entire life seething, he doesn’t want for one single feeling to define him anymore. So he also accepts the birthday gifts his brother sends him on September 9.
It’s just a day, he mentally repeats, it will be over soon. But he doesn’t expect the doorbell to ring, everything has already been delivered and they didn't invite anyone.
Rin certainly doesn’t expect you, standing on his doorstep with a million dollar smile and clearly hiding something behind your back.
“What are you doing here?”, he’s frozen, in disbelief. You’re not supposed to be there.
“Surprise!”, you grin, “look what I finally found!”.
You’re suddenly holding something so close to his face he has to take a moment to focus to understand what he’s looking at. It’s a horror game, one he’s looked everywhere for because they don’t sell those anymore. Rin only mentioned it once but of course you mentally took note and conducted your own, personal research. It must’ve costed you a fortune. You’re such an idiot.
“It’s not a good time”, he takes a step back, hoping you’ll get the hint and do the same. Your smile falls.
“I know. I just wanted to drop this off. Here”, you hand him the neatly packed gift. Rin takes it, then meets your gaze for a second. He wants to say something, apologize, but you’ve already turned your back to him and are quickly granting his wish of being left alone. He asks himself how much patience you have left, how close you are to abandoning him and his asshole ways for good.
“Who are you?”.
Rin freezes a second time, the voice behind him so close and oddly interested. You stop in your tracks, whip around to look at someone who isn’t him. Something hard flashes across your features but it’s quickly whisked away when you offer one of your usual, polite smiles.
“No one, I was just passing by”.
Something inside Rin cracks. No one? You can hardly ever shut up about being his friend. 
Sae hums.
“You should come in. There’s extra cake”.
When their mom catches sight of you, she also invites you in and there’s really no turning back from that. You’re too well mannered, too acquainted with his family to refuse. So you indulge them.
From the kitchen, he observes something he never thought would (or should) happen. Sae, the most infuriatingly detached, impassive person on the planet, is sitting next to you on the couch, where you’re making polite conversation. He’s listening. Rin knows he’s listening because he keeps his eyes on you, stance relaxed. Who knows what nonsense you’re rambling about this time, unfinished cake in the paper plate balanced on your knees. He says something, you chuckle. Rin focuses on his own unfinished cake, suddenly nauseous.
All these years, this is the one thing he didn’t want to happen, you meeting his brother. It’s petty and childish and Rin isn’t even quite sure why the desire to keep you from him has burned ardently this entire time but the fact that his efforts have vanished in the space of one afternoon brings a strange weariness.
By the time you excuse yourself, his parents are begging you to stay over for dinner. You refuse, thank them, thank Sae the most and wish him the happiest birthday. He dismisses your formality with the vague wave of a hand, says he hopes to meet you again. You smile sweetly.
“There’s no need”.
Rin ignores your objection similarly to how you ignored him the entire afternoon, finishes buttoning up his coat instead. He always walks you home and today will be no exception.
The silence between you two is so uncharacteristic it irritates him, to the point of affliction. Are you that upset with him? Ah, the magic must’ve finally flickered out.
“So, how was it?”, he spitefully pushes, “meeting the legendary brother”.
You keep your gaze on the street.
“It was okay”.
Rin scoffs.
“Just okay? You two really hit it off”.
“He was kind to me”.
“I’m sure he was”.
You finally stop in your tracks to look at him.
“Just because we’re friends it doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole all the time, you know”.
Rin stops too, lips parted, breath condensating into a tiny cloud by his mouth. The serious look you’re fixing him with makes his shoulders slump ever so slightly.
“I’m sorry”, he murmurs. Your gaze softens and he hates it, how easy it is for you to cut him some slack.
“Can you tell me what’s really wrong, Rin?”.
He feels like throwing up.
“Nothing is wrong”.
You hum, pensive, take the time to kick a tiny rock with the tip of your boot.
“I really think you should give yourself some grace. You deserve some peace”.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”.
“It means you’re so focused on protecting yourself from imaginary threats, you can’t see”.
“See what?”.
You offer a sad smile.
“How bright you shine”.
Rin is so taken aback he doesn’t know what to say, surprise paralyzing his entire body. He hasn’t felt like this in a while, perhaps years. It’s not fair that you have access to such a vulnerable side of him, it’s not fair that he can suddenly sense a weird lump in his throat.
“I don’t shine-”, he spits the word out, disgusted.
You’re usually very careful about his boundaries, whether they’re a hoax or not. But this time? You do something you’ve never done before, roughly take his face in your cold hands to make sure he keeps his gaze on you instead of avoiding it like a coward.
“You shine, Rin. I’m so tired of you being the only one refusing to see it. You’re the most resilient, talented, hardworking person I know. You did good. But the challenge is over, there is no war anymore, you don’t have to persist in this stubborn seclusion”, your eyes are suddenly wet, tears precariously collecting in your lash line, “you get to rest, now. Please, be proud of yourself and rest. There’s nothing to be on your guard against”.
He doesn’t remember his heart ever squeezing as painfully in his chest before, the urge to take your face in his hands making the pads of his fingers itch. He doesn’t remember the last time he came so close to let a few tears fall.
He’s gonna take you too. Just like he takes everything from me.
The thought takes his breath away for a moment. He feels your thumb gently stroke his cheek.
“You’re the legendary brother to me, anyway”, you smile, then sniffle.
Has he split himself wide open for you or are you simply that good at reading him? Rin can feel his hands shake when they fist the fabric of your plush jacket.
“Why are you telling me this?”, he can barely recognize the desperation vibrating in his own voice, “why do you even put up with me?”.
You blink a few times, astonished. Then smile again, warm and bright like the sun. Oh, he doesn’t shine, you do.
“Because I love you, obviously”.
And Rin doesn’t have to ask, doesn’t have to wonder what you mean. He knows. He’s known all this time.
“Why did you never tell me?”.
“Because you wouldn’t have let me do it in peace”, you chuckle, “you don’t like me like that so you wouldn’t have let me love you. As if I needed something in return. As if loving you as a friend couldn’t possibly be enough, anyway”.
His fingers are hurting from how tightly he’s still fisting the fabric of your jacket. It feels like his insides are exploding with a million different emotions and he doesn’t have nearly enough time to interpret them. But does he really need that, after all? Time. He’s known you for so long. 
“Stop putting up a fight, silly”, you let go of his face but flick his forehead, to which he grimaces, surprised, “let me love you. I’m your best friend in the whole, entire world after all! Who cares about your stupid brother? No wait, that came out mean, I just meant I care more about you than-”
Rin’s sudden embrace is suffocating, you’re pressed against him so tightly you genuinely struggle taking a single breath. You don’t remember him ever hugging you, the most noteworthy intentional contact you can recall is his arm around your shoulders when you insisted on taking a cute selfie, once. Every other hug, you had always initiated. His arms were always loose around you, cautious, despite his forehead often resting on your shoulder.
His clothes smell nice. He smells nice. You close your eyes, bask in a warmth so strange yet familiar. You don’t think you’ll ever love someone the way you love him.
“You’re so stupid”, Rin murmurs against your neck. With a smile, you nuzzle your face further into his chest.
“So I’ve been told”.
He thinks his heart might be seconds away from slamming itself free from his ribcage.
“Can you tell me again?”.
“What, that I don’t care about your brother? Sure, fuck Itoshi Sae. Oh no, that was also way too mean, don’t tell him I said-”
Rin pulls away abruptly, hands kept on your shoulders to keep you there or maybe to steady himself. You shut your mouth, don’t comment damp cheeks dusted with pink. It may be the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen him.
“Not that, you idiot”, his pitch is gentle, with a hint of amusement. One of his hands cradles your cheek, thumb gently skimming over your lips.
“I love you”, it comes out less bold now, timid. Something melts in his chest all the same.
“Will you pretend it never happened, if I kiss you now?”.
Your exhale is shaky.
“No”.
All these years and this is the first time you’re seeing Itoshi Rin truly, openly smile. The sight does something funny to your stomach.
“Good”.
190 notes · View notes
lvnleah · 21 hours ago
Text
Rory’s 5th birthday.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“Roo, slow down!” Beth laughed as you ran in front of her, eager to head into the training ground, “Wait for me and Mamma please.” She said as her and Viv grabbed their bags from the car. 
“But Mummy it’s my birthday and I need everyone to know!” You huffed, stopping in your tracks. “I’m five and I wan’ show them all my new teddies!”
It was your fifth birthday and since the moment you had woken up, you hadn’t stopped. Beth and Viv had stayed up till late last night and had decorated the living room with balloons and banners. All of your teddies even had their own little party hats on, two spare ones sat beside them for you and Twix. 
Viv laughed softly, ruffling your hair as Beth adjusted the strap of her bag. “Don’t worry, Roo. Everyone will love meeting Twix’s new friends.”
You grinned up at her, “They better! Twix new friends are excited!”
As you all made your way into the training centre, the familiar hum of voices and clinking dishes filled the air as you made your way to the canteen. The smell of coffee and bacon made your tummy rumble, but you were too focused on finding Buddy and Monkey to notice.
The moment you spotted them, Buddy sitting at a table colouring with crayons and Monkey scrolling through her phone opposite her, you let out an excited squeal.
“Buddy! Monks!” you yelled, sprinting across the room.
Leah, who was seated beside Buddy, looked up with a grin. “Uh-oh, here comes trouble. Happy Birthday, Roo!”
“Roo!” Buddy squealed, dropping the crayon and practically falling off her chair as she scrambled to get to you.
You collided in a giggly hug, your backpack bumping awkwardly between you. “It’s my birthday!” you announced proudly.
Buddy gasped, her eyes wide. “B’fday? ‘Ou five now?”
You nodded, already unzipping your bag. “Yeah, and I brought my teddies to show you. Look!”
Buddy clapped her hands excitedly, bouncing on the spot as you carefully pulled out Twix and his new friends. “This is Twix, and this is Myle 2 and Sprinkles. They’re new!”
Buddy reached out with chubby hands, grabbing for Sprinkles before you had even finished your sentence. “Me ‘ove Sprinkles! He so soft!” she exclaimed, squishing him to her face.
“Twix says you have to be gentle ‘cus they new!” You told Buddy. 
Buddy nodded, still holding Sprinkles by one paw. “Okay, I’ be gentle,” she promised, before suddenly turning to Leah, who was seated next to her. “Mummy! Look, Roo’s bear!”
Leah chuckled, reaching over to ruffle Buddy’s hair. “I see, Bubba. Sprinkles looks very important.”
“Very ‘portant,” Buddy agreed, holding the bear out to Leah for inspection.
Monkey, sitting on the other side of the table, leaned over to watch the scene unfold. “This is serious birthday business,” she teased. “Twix recruiting a squad?”
You nodded firmly, “Twix is the boss. He said they can come watch the match today!”
Buddy gasped again, looking up at Leah. “Dey’ watch football?! Mummy, dey’ watch football!”
Leah grinned, pulling Buddy onto her lap. “Yep, looks like it. And I bet they’ll cheer really loud too, huh, Roo?”
“They’re the loudest,” you said proudly. “but not as loud as me and Buddy!”
Beth and Viv finally caught up, both smiling as they saw Buddy and you deep in conversation about the teddies. “She’s been planning this all morning,” Beth said, setting her bag down.
“You’re very excited about your birthday, huh Roo?” Leah asked you, “Did you get nice presents?”
You nodded enthusiastically, “I got lots of presents! And Mummy and Mamma put party hats on all my teddies. Twix says he’s the boss of the party.”
Before Leah could respond, the canteen doors opened and Steph came in, a grin already on her face. “Alright, where’s the birthday girl?” she called, looking around dramatically.
You practically leapt out of your seat, waving your arms. “I’m here! I’m here!”
“Well, there she is!” Steph said, walking over and crouching down to your level. “Happy birthday, Roo! Five years old, huh? Does that mean you’re a big girl now?”
You nodded, “I’m really big now. And I got new teddies!”
Steph pretended to gasp, glancing at the line of stuffed animals on the table. “Which one’s the boss?”
“Twix!” you said immediately, holding him up. “He’s the oldest, so he’s the boss.”
Steph nodded. “Looks like he’s doing a great job keeping everyone in line. You bringing them to the match later?”
“Yeah, they’re gonna cheer really loud!” you said, your excitement bubbling over.
After a bit more chatting, the rest of the team came in for breakfast, each wishing you a happy birthday. You ended up sitting on Beth’s lap, feeling cosy as she helped you cut your pancakes into bite-sized pieces.
Just as you were finishing the last bite, Katie stood up and got everyone’s attention. “Alright, everyone, we have one last thing to do before we head out for the match,” she said, glancing over at you. 
A moment later, one of the kitchen staff walked in, carrying a cake covered in pink frosting and topped with five candles. Your eyes widened as the entire team broke into a loud, cheerful rendition of “Happy Birthday.”
You tucked your face into Beth’s shoulder, suddenly overwhelmed by all the attention. “Mummy,” you whispered, your voice muffled, “it’s so loud.”
Beth rubbed your back gently, smiling. “It’s okay, Roo. Everyone’s just really happy for you.”
As the song ended, the room filled with cheers and clapping. Viv leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Ready to blow out the candles?”
You peeked out from Beth’s shoulder and nodded shyly. Beth helped you stand on her lap so you could reach the cake, your hands gripping her arms tightly for balance.
“Alright, big breath, Roo,” Beth encouraged, her smile wide as everyone leaned in to watch. You took a deep breath and blew, your cheeks puffing out with the effort, but only two of the five candles flickered out.
The team burst out laughing as you frowned in frustration. “They won’t go!” you huffed, trying again with another puff of air, but the stubborn candles stayed lit.
“I’ help ‘ou!” Buddy announced, trying to slide off Leah’s lap. 
“Buddy!” Leah laughed, quickly scooping her up. “Let’s let Roo have another go.”
“Okay, Roo,” Viv said, her hands resting lightly on your waist. “Biggest breath you can manage. Ready?”
You nodded, your cheeks turning pink as you gave it your all, but only one more candle went out. You frowned again before giving it another go, this time all of them blowing out. 
“You did it, Roo!” Beth said, kissing your cheek as you grinned shyly.
“Twix helped,” you whispered, holding your teddy close.
“Well, Twix is very clever,” Viv said with a chuckle, brushing a stray hair away from your face. 
“Good job, Roo!” Leah called, and Buddy clapped her hands, shouting, “Go, Roo!”
“Did you make a wish?” Beth asked as she hugged you tight.
You nodded, hugging Twix. “Mhm, Twix made it with me!” you said softly, and Beth smiled, kissing your cheek.
131 notes · View notes
quarterlifekitty · 3 days ago
Note
wifey here again with stepdad!Nik, so I think SD would insist on finishing college since she only has like a year left anyway and because she feels like she'll be able to get a job easier with a degree, she doesn't wanna be a burden. Nikolai ofc lets her finish college, it keeps her busy while at home, settling in nicely to their house. He takes care of her every need, and slowly starts to convince her that she doesn't owe him anything, she's his wife now, or soon to be at the very least. All she needs to do is stay home and worry about their little one. Anytime she has doubts about how much he wants her and wants to provide for her she gets reminded thoroughly. It's when SD's bump is getting noticeable that Nik really steps it up. "What if we both miss the important moments?" and SD eventually is like "yeah, okay, but if it ever becomes a burden I'll get a job" and Nik is real proud of himself. SD also becomes very needy, in just the way Nik loves, she wants to be with him as much as possible and needs help a lot because hormones are fucking with her. And she definitely thanks him plenty for his help whenever she can. Bonus NikPrice x SD reader John decides to visit Nik and his new bird since on their last mission Nikolai wouldn't shut up about her and he immediately gets why when he sees SD, she's so sweet and nurturing and she looks gorgeous all round with Nik's kid, stays a few nights and gets drunk one night and jokingly (sorta) tells Nik he'd love to put the next one in her and Nikolai just hums with a smile "why not?" and reader is suddenly being flirted with by her fiance/husband's friend. Is real worried about it cause she likes it and guility goes to Nik who is 1. Very pleased by her honesty and 2. reassures her and tells her that he's okay with it if she is. (Totally wasn't his plan to get his two favorite people together so he could have them both, nope, that's totally not why he raved about her to John and not one other soul. Mmhm)
Also im really sorry if once again this doesn't make sense, stress has got me by a chokehold lately and its making my brain bad lol
Ooooooh wifey you are killing me. Isn’t that the perfect solution, though? You’re so worried about being a burden, let’s bring in another source of income!!
You know. Maybe it’s kinda degrading. But I totally imagine Nik comes up with little tasks for her. Let’s be real, it’s so easy— he saw what her mother was like, he can see how starved she is for approval, it practically blinds her. Things like “I want us to get a new car with some more space before the baby comes— can you research what models are best for family? You have a better mind for things like that than me,” he says with an almost sheepish smile. You’re practically wagging your tail with excitement— and you just look so happy when you present all of your work and he seems so pleased with you.
Also, in a bit of darker move, I can imagine if you’re not as into John as all that— they come up with a story. They say that John wants to have a baby of his own, but he’s not married, and he wants to have a kid before he’s too old and his career gets in the way of romance. So he would love for you to be like a surrogate for him. You’ve done so well with this first pregnancy, and you’re still so young— plus! John would be willing to pay, so it’d be like you’ve got your own income to help out!
The only thing is that John believes in natural conception. And he wants to live with you both during the pregnancy to help out. And he doesn’t actually plan on leaving once you have his kid. And Nik knows how sensitive and caring you are— when you confess to him your doubts about giving the baby up for good once it’s born, he comforts you. Of course he’ll talk to John about it, milaya, he’s sure they can come to an agreement.
89 notes · View notes
punkpandapatrixk · 3 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
Full Wolf Moon in Cancer ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card
The first FM of 2025, although aenergetically still a full moon of the previous year, the Full Wolf Moon was in Cancer on 14th January. Food is scarce during winter and the wolves howl more because of that🐺My gosh, aren’t we hungry for more sustenance?🍕Amazingly, the Cancer aenergy is all about food and nutrition!🥗Starting this FM, you may feel the urge to develop a healthier relationship with food and sustenance~♦︎
The world is healing and so many people are elevating spiritually, and with that, our awareness of the relationship between what we consume and how that affects the mind and body grows correspondingly. The true revolution of humanity is Environmentalism!🫒This is also a time the Full Moon invites us to reconsider what we individually deem as ‘healthy work-life balance’. It’s a good idea to move the body more and/or create things with our very own hands; reminds modern people what it means to be…Human. To be actively human🤸‍♀️
If you’ve ever sustained some kind of trauma related to ‘hard work’ in which you felt underappreciated⚰️or that your efforts gave you no gain whatsoever in return💰and all that you got was heartache…💔this FM in Cancer is inviting you to reframe that trauma🧬Starting this year, if and when it suits you, try to 'get back to nature' by refamiliarizing yourself with touching real materials or making real things that stimulate the creativity through motion~♪
You are Human—you're supposed to emote a lot🏄‍♀️And most of all, whilst learning to ‘live again’, so to speak, remember that your T.I.M.E is essentially unlimited as you live fully in the present moment~♡
move: Ballerina CORE & POSTURE Workout by Everyday Ballet
make: Those Famous Blue Chinese Bowls Come From This Town by Goldthread
deck-bottom: 9 of Swords, Gold Magus (Johannes Faustus), Priestess of Happiness
[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – The Reclamation of Individual Thought!
pizzaaa: New York Pizza Vs. Italian Pizza by Joshua Weissman
Tumblr media
mind – 7 of Cups
You are such a gentle Soul—and most likely identify as an altruist?🕊There’s a chance you have significant Mercury/Virgo/6H or Venus/Libra/7H placements. You’re the type of person who genuinely values every person’s individual thought, input and opinions on a matter. Actually, you’re a natural-born peacemaker and this penchant for listening and appreciating people’s individual preferences is in essence a display of your deep empathy and incredible intelligence🦌
Buutt…a little downside to this is that you sometimes put yourself last. You don’t think you’re important enough or you simply get confused. Thing is, if you never took the chance to prioritise your own ideas, perceptions and opinions on a matter, you’d never matter either🦑And that wouldn’t be fun at all, because deep down, you yearn to be recognised as someone unique who has a plethora of interesting perspectives!⚖️
The Full Wolf Moon in Cancer has sent an invitation for you to gradually develop a sense for individual thinking🍳Check out the strengths and uniqueness of your Mercury sign and placement (as well as what it’s aspected with) and find your validation for a very unique way you can communicate/express all of the wonderful ideas that are stored inside of YOU~🥘
body – 2 of Cups
Still within the realm of talking/eating here, oohh…someone needs to fix their relationship with food and learn balanced eating here🌞The Cancer/4H and Capricorn/10H axis is all about tradition and responsibility. Some of you tuning into this as your main pile may have dealt with varying levels of imbalance in the way you eat or how much you eat🥡This has everything to do with a forced sense of ‘control’ and ‘discipline’. In astrology, Cancer is mother and Capricorn is father—now go figure how this applies to your situation😉
This FM you’re being invited to reframe the ‘trauma’ that’s the root cause of this imbalanced eating, so to speak. It’s all emotional, honey. Eating disorders of any kind is rooted in the emotions—I’d suggest looking on YouTube some videos by Teal Swan on this topic; very enlightening🍵Anyway, you can also look up ways and methods to balance and strengthen your Sacral and Throat chakras. Eating and talking are all within the realms of those two chakra points🥭
Other than that, whether or not you have problems with eating enjoyably and sanely, this FM is also inviting you to rethink what tradition or custom means to you on a personal and spiritual level🍱
spirit – 10 of Pentacles Rx
All of this rumination that you’re being invited to partake in, ultimately will lead to developing a stronger sense for individual thinking🐉See? It’s all leading back to that. People naturally should be responsible for their own thoughts and decision making, irrespective of what kind of tradition or community they were born into. Freedom in thinking is man’s greatest treasure that should be cherished. This FM is simply inviting you to rediscover your sense of unique identity whilst being part of a community or any other kind of a collective🌕
The truth of the matter is—especially if this has been your main pile—you’re part of a group of Souls (ironic🤣) that are meant to break some rules in this Hyper Game. Now, if you’re going to break rules and customs, you need to know how they were built in the first place, then can you intelligently decide the values that are inconvertibly good and then discard or improve upon whatever no longer serves the Highest Good of the community🍊
You’re a System Buster. I know you know that deep within your Soul. As much as you care about people, also understand that YOU~ ain’t responsible for saving nobody. People don’t need saving as much as they need a reminding. If tomorrow extraterrestrials came down from the heavens, even they wouldn’t save nobody from the misery of their own creation—aliens most likely are just going to remind Humans that the only thing capable of saving them is just them quitting being so negative, conflicty and shitty in the first place🐀
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Silver Historian (Polydore Vergil) & Priestess of Inspiration
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Flirting with Life Because You Have a Lot to Offer~★
pizzaaa: Midnight Margherita Pizza in Naples by Jamie Oliver & Gennaro Contaldo
Tumblr media
mind – King of Wands
‘Life is colourful!’🎨I feel like that’s the numero uno vibe that you’ve been enveloped in lately (or soon to experience) due to your own elevation in vibration. Other than elevation, you may have done something to further shield or protect yourself from all of the world’s low-vibrational thought and emotional patterns. In essence, if this is your main pile, you’ve done a massive spiritual purge—which seems to be a message that has been coming up a lot in the collective lately—and all of that shadow work, so to speak, is bearing fruits~🫐🍓🥝
With all of the limiting beliefs from which you’ve managed to set yourself free, you’ve come to a much, much deeper understanding of how your states of mind, moods, and sense of inspiration all hold the magical codes for co-Creation with the ever-benevolent Universe💫Essentially, what comes after that is either complete faith in the trajectory of your Destiny, or you’ve simply given up on feeling anxious about where you’re being led to, or both🦉Oh! Isn’t that so liberating~?🐣
Babe, people call something magic when they don’t understand its logic, but to those who do truly understand magic, quite everything about it is scientific🎼This year is all about you awakening more fully to the magic deep within, and seeing and experiencing for yourself how your physical Reality gradually aligns with your personal values and desires~🐾
body – 6 of Pentacles
Those of you who’ve been struggling financially, this FM was a gateway towards your physical abundance, for real. Basically, whether or not you were struggling financially, there was a sense of lack or limitation that was always making you feel unstable or insecure. You couldn’t always do or get what you needed when you needed it. Starting this FM—and yes, this is your theme throughout 2025—you’ll be seeing for real how your sense of ‘security’ or ‘abundance’ gets rectified by the Universe~⚖️
For some people, yes, it is about money or a job opportunity; for some others, this could revolve around time spent with loved ones, or even a greater sense of ease in pursuing your creative hobbies/interests. Bottom line is, trust that this FM in Cancer is opening up the floodgates of GOOD VIBES and confidence what will make your entire year so much easier to navigate. I sense that this in itself is just preparation for you to manifest something MUCH, MUCH, MUCH MORE VALUABLE than this peace of mind🚁
I’m hearing: before the summer, use this time to take very good care of your physical avatar. Eat whatever you like as much or as little as you want, and see for yourself what kind of eating habits suit you~🌭
spirit – 4 of Cups Rx
If this is your main pile, you surely have worked tirelessly at something that actually took away a great amount of JOY from your everyday Reality. I’m being told—and I’m being told that you need to really, really believe this—that all of the good times you’ve missed during survival or trauma healing or shadow work are going to be fully compensated by the abundant Universe🛍🎡🥂
Lately I’ve been seeing these vids on YouTube that have titles like: ‘God can make up for your lost time’ or something along those lines~🥞Maybe such ‘prophetic words’ could heal some of the emotional pain you’ve sustained during spiritual purging🍋It may seem endless at times, but if you’ve resonated with this pile so far, your Spirit Guides are insisting that your GOOD TIMES are chasing you hard this year🌊🌊🌊
With that said, keep the faith, act like it’s already yours—because it really already is; and most of all, know that you deserve all of this goodness because the ‘you’ now also have so much good to share with the world!🌟🌟🌟
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Silver Alchemist (Ramon Llull) & Priestess of Healing
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Figuring Out More Deeply How the Matrix Works!
pizzaaa: How to Make Perfect Pizza by Gennaro Contaldo
Tumblr media
mind – XIX The Sun
Wow! Two major arcana for you, boo~🍻But listen, Pile 3 aenergy is somewhat heavy in the sense that you do have a huge responsibility in this incarnation—and I’ve a feeling this is a pile not that many people are gonna choose or resonate with🦞
It’s very likely that this year you’re going to begin reuniting with your—let’s say… Soul Comrades? lol🦁These are the Souls that share multitudes of mission with you and of course many of them could be true Soul Fam, but there are just as many that aren’t necessarily family with you on a Soul level. This is big, ma man—if this is your main pile, you’re obviously an important, high-ranking Celestial who has infused your consciousness deep into the Earth-Matrix Experience (Human ver.) programme🐦‍🔥🐲
Did you know that you came here to hijack the Game—the System?👾Your entire Life you were learning to redirect aenergy and thought, as part of the liberation of Mankind’s collective consciousness. You’ve the ability/access to hijack back the matrices of evil and suffering by entering and rearranging codes in the Records!🕹
body – 9 of Pentacles
Now this FM being in the Cancer-Capricorn axis—the axis of traditional values—you may have felt a deep desire to ‘touch grass’ more lol🍃The last time Pluto was in Capricorn, or when Capricorn Pluto generation (equivalent of today’s Gen Alpha) were young adults, Humanity was in the Romantic Era. This era came right after the Industrial Revolution whereby intellectual young adults rebelled against rapid ‘modernisation’ by deliberately returning to what was beautiful and poetic albeit impractical—but that is exactly the point, right?🌷
If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, chances are, you’re someone who inherently appreciates the beauty of the natural world🪺You could still be into technology and are appreciative of the ease of modern amenities, but deep down, you know that ‘modernity’ shouldn’t have to equal drabness or ugly buildings—or ugly everything on that matter🦚
What you’re being led to, aenergetically speaking, is an awareness of this mechanism of how ‘evil powers’ that are holding this Matrix hostage are deliberately making everything uglier so as to kill the Human Spirit🥀And thus, by realising this trick and noticing the patterns, you’re meant to rebel against the equilibrium of boredom by being weirder and more colourful still~🌈
spirit – VIII Strength Rx
What Humanity is going through right now, I’m sure you of all people understand that we’re watching the crumbling of the establishment that was founded on deceit and funded by lies, in real-time🍭That’s why economies are weakening and so many are struggling for food and other forms of basic necessities. But for you, Pile 3, it could be that you’ve been swimming in that exact frequency for a while…🧆
But starting this FM—and for the rest of the year if not the rest of your Life—you’re going to be so abundant now that you’ve finished gathering data for why the Human Matrix is filled with a ‘lack consciousness’—not just mindset but ‘consciousness’ altogether🍬Right now, there’s a sense of needing to rest… No, actually, from now on, you’ll always have the freedom to manipulate Reality—aenergy and timeline and such—in accordance to what you like, when you like it🍽
You aren’t doing this all by yourself, you know. Your Spirit Guides and Cosmic Ancestors are all in this with you. Anyway, learn to embrace this feeling of peace because you seem like you’ve forgotten🎂You have the power to choose to be so deeply grounded in your Divine Consciousness that nothing outside of that calm can shake your foundation~🥘
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler) & Priestess of Luxury
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
96 notes · View notes
gasogene · 2 days ago
Text
as i don't want to completely hijack this post, i've decided to type out several of the letters in the book letters to sherlock holmes by richard lancelyn green in a post of my own. thank you again to @hesagoodone for the interest; i do hope the rest of the fandom enjoys these, as well! these are the five letters i had added to the aforementioned post but i will be reblogging this a few times over with more, so stay tuned... it's been so very hard to choose my favorites!
under the read-more you will also find a brief history from one of the many people hired to be sherlock holmes' personal secretary during a 50+ year period where 221B baker street was receiving an enormous influx of letters from those that hoped & those that believed sherlock holmes, the great consulting detective, was real—living & breathing.
Dear Reader,
Letters addressed to Sherlock Holmes have been answered by the staff of the Abbey National Building Society for over fifty years and I am the latest to serve as his secretary.
The head office, Abbey House, stands in Baker Street and includes the number 221 which many would say is the site of the rooms which Holmes shared with Dr Watson. The present building was opened in 1932 as the headquarters of what was then the Abbey Road Building Society, but which in 1944 took its present name following the merger with the National Building Society. In 1951 it housed the Sherlock Holmes Exhibition which was arranged by the St Marylebone Public Library as a contribution to the Festival of Britain. The Exhibition included a reconstruction of the famous sitting-room, which won wide acclaim, being visited by over half a million people, including Queen Mary.
Letters still arrive in large quantities, and during my time in office, Mr Holmes has received post from every quarter of the globe. There are fan letters, birthday wishes, Christmas cards (one each year is from Dr Watson), invitations to give lectures or attend weddings. Sometimes he learns that he is the potential winner of a fortune or that he has been specially selected to receive a trial subscription to a well-known periodical, but by far the largest number of letters contain details of intriguing mysteries. He is asked to trace, as it may be, a peanut thief in Kansas or to bring to justice the chopstick murderer of Nagasaki or to end the nuclear arms race. A few bring news of Professor Moriarty some claiming that he has been spotted boarding a train in Neasden or that he is responsible for the theft of a painting from the Dulwich Gallery. Others again wish to know intimate details of the detective's private life. Was he left- or right-handed? Did he dislike gooseberry jam? Did he once wound Mrs Hudson in the foot while cleaning a revolver? And did Mycroft Holmes wear glasses?
These and other questions are hard to answer, and I have to remind his correspondents that Holmes is now spending much of his time in Sussex and is rarely, if ever, on hand to deal with the queries himself. But I know that he appreciates all the kind comments made about him and is touched by the evidence of the high regard in which he is held.
He will always reside at 221B Baker Street, but if the Abbey National Building Society has been able to play its part in sustaining his tenancy then that is a cause for satisfaction. I certainly enjoy the work and could not wish for a better or more distinguished employer.
Best wishes.
Yours faithfully
Sue Brown
Secretary to Sherlock Holmes
A Bee-Keeper's Offer of Assistance
10 October 1904 W.B.C. Apiary Old Bedford Road Luton, Beds. Dear Sir, I see by some of the morning papers that you are about to retire and take up beekeeping. I know not if this be correct or otherwise, but if correct I shall be pleased to render you service by giving any advice you may require. I make this offer in return for the pleasure your writings gave me as a youngster, they enabled me to spend many and many a happy hour. Therefore I trust you will read this letter in the same spirit that it is written. Yours respectfully, W. Herrod
A Housekeeper for Sherlock Holmes
10 October 1904 c/o The Hon. P. Cranstoun Hurst Hill House Totland Bay, Isle of Wight To Sir Conan Doyle, Bart, Will 'Mr Sherlock Holmes' require a housekeeper for his country cottage at Xmas? I know someone, who loves a quiet country life, and 'Bees' especially, an old-fashioned quiet woman. Yours faithfully, M. Gunton
Request for an Autograph
18 November 1904 9 Eriswell Road, Worthing Dear Sir, I trust I am not trespassing too much on your time and kindness by asking for the favour of your autograph to add to my collection. I have derived much pleasure from reading your Memoirs, and should very highly value the possession of your famous signature. Trusting you will see your way to thus honour me, and venturing to thank you very much in anticipation. I am, Sir, Your obedient Servant, Charles Wright P.S. Not being aware of your present address, I am taking the liberty of sending this letter to Sir A. Conan Doyle, asking him to be good enough to forward it to you. Sherlock Holmes Esq.
Sherlock Holmes in Indiana
December 1954 Indianapolis, Indiana, USA Dear Sherlock Holmes, When I go to Europe, I want to see your house on Baker Street. My father read me 'The Speckled Band', 'The Six Napoleons', and 'The Red-Headed League'. I hope he reads me more. You're quite clever at solving cases. When I grow up, I'm going to belong to the 'Sherlock Holmes Club'. I read about you in the comics, in the newspapers, too. My sister and I play 'Sherlock Holmes', but I have to be Watson. We have two long-haired dachounds [sic] and when we play 'Sherlock Holmes', we pretend that they are bloodhounds. A magazine said you went to Indiana, USA. Did you? Sincerely, Betsy Rosasco
Lyn Satterstrom's Letter
September 1959 Richfield, Minnesota, USA Dear Sir, Although I have been told that you do not really exist, as have the other members of my English class, I still think that somehow you do. In the hearts of all those who read about your wonderful exploits in the world of solving crime, you do exist, as surely as the typewriter on which I write surely does exist — although my typewriting is a far cry from your great feats of crime detection. I realize you are shy when it comes to a lot of praise, so I will just say that you can never know how proud your readers are of you — that is, all but the detectives who read Dr Watson's stories just to help them solve their own crimes. Dr Watson said that you are — or were, as the case may be — a rather messy housekeeper. But even your messy stacks of news clippings have helped you to solve crimes, haven't they? There are suspicious-looking characters around all the time, and some people think you should come to this country to investigate. I have told them repeatedly, of course, that you are much too busy to bother with the crimes of America when you can help your own country. Well, actually, the reason I wrote is because I want to receive a letter from you so that I will know if you are still living and advancing the detective profession, or if you have passed on the road to happiness. If you are not living, would you kindly let me know? The rest of my English class is anxiously awaiting your letter also. Did you really do all the things that Dr Watson said you did? Some of the crimes and mysteries you solved seem almost impossible. Well, I must leave you to your work. In your next spare second or so, would you drop — preferably mail — me a note (by this I mean a letter, of course)? Thank you ever so much. Sincerely, Lyn Satterstrom
33 notes · View notes
thehollowwriter · 22 hours ago
Text
It's been 10 billion years and writing is slow sooooo sneak peek for Lamentations part 7 finally! I'm not finished yet but ya'll need something
-
Key: Regular text is for the present. Italics is for flashbacks, bold is for journal entries
-
"Raine, if you set the traps like that it won't work."
Silas' voice was soft and patient, but tired.
"I-I know, sir, but Timo's shit at explaining what to do!" Raine said, provoking an annoyed "Hey!" from the cuttlefish in question.
"It's not my fault you don't listen!"
"I do! You just think nonsense yappin' makes any kind of sense! You just drone on and on!"
"I do not!"
"Quiet." Silas hissed, harsher than intended, and took in a sharp breath as his two youngest hires went silent and glared at each other.
"Raine, I'll show you."
It took a few tries and a few snarky comments from Timo (who, freshly 19, seemed to have found himself a bit of sass), but Silas managed to break it down in a way Raine could understand."
She eventually got it, and the blue rings covering her body lit up brightly. "I did it! I did it! Thank you, Mister Silas!"
Raine was only twenty and very new, but she had an energetic dedication to learning that Silas very much appreciated.
Silas nodded at the two mers and began making his way back home, absentmindedly going over the earlier events.
He had to repeat himself and correct Raine a number of times, and Raine looked to be on the verge of tears, muttering apologies and bunching up her tentacles in shame.
"Calm down, it's fine." Silas told her every time, though in retrospect, he probably sounded much harsher than intended. However, if he could pat himself on the back for anything, it would be the fact that he was leagues better than he was in his youth.
Younger Silas was controlling and impatient, snapping and snarling at the hunters Lady Roda had paired him with, frustrated at them for being unable to keep up or follow every demand. He probably would have made Raine burst into tears.
...No, he definitely would have made Raine burst into tears.
Silas came to the large, cave-like rock he called his home and swam inside, shutting the large limestone door behind him.
Before going back to writing, though, Silas turned down the hall to a different room and peeked inside. He stared for a while, then nodded to himself and left.
Then he returned to his office, if you could really call it that. It, just like every room in the "house", was just a big space carved into a rock with a curtain of seaweed acting like a door (a definite downgrade to the nice limestone front door painted light blue)
Inside, there was a desk with some files in the drawers and pictures on the walls, and that was about it.
Silas rummaged around to pull out his little life story and placed it on the desk, sitting down with a heavy sigh.
I struggled after the loss of my grandfather. While I did start spending less time in my room and more time with Morrigan or hunting, I still didn't eat much. I'd pick at my food, often leaving the fish basically whole, the crabs with most of their legs, and so on.
That scared Morrigan, I think. He didn't want me to go back to how I used to be before my hospital stay, sickly and malnourished.
"Silas, please," He'd say, his tones inches away from becoming hysterical. "You need to eat. I-I know it's hard, but you can't- you can't-"
Then he'd shake his head and mumble to himself. Back then, I don't think I appreciated his fear like I should have. I was mourning and hurting, and my partner was, in my eyes, insinuating that I was weak in some way. I never said anything, but it angered me.
If I think of it now... it's scary, seeing someone you care for in so much pain. It was stressed to me that if I hadn't gone to the hospital, I would have died sometime or later.
I didn't... care that much. I'm used to death. To almost dying.
But Morrigan wasn't. Morrigan, though he wasn't necessarily happy or well-treated, was sheltered from death and other forms of suffering for most of his life. The news was like a punch to the gut to him, and after my discharge, he would hover around me whenever I ate.
It... it must have scared him when I stopped eating.
"I don't want to see you hooked up to an IV again," He'd whisper. "You were so sick I... I don't want that to happen to you again."
It's strange to think about how something so normal for me was so horrifying to Morrigan.
In hindsight, though, he was right. I hated my time in recovery, but I'm glad it happened. I don't think I would have recovered from this loss if I hadn't.
Things got better. Slowly. The soul crushing grief I felt lightened. I started eating more, and Morrigan's relief was hard to miss. I felt more alive.
There is a hole in me. It can't be filled, but... it's not so gaping and consuming anymore.
-End (for now)
...........................................
A/N: Welp I hope you guys enjoyed this little snippet! I frankly am very very inexcusably late for an update abdndndnffn
Tagging: @distant-velleity @br3adtoasty @rainesol @theleechyskrunkly @jovieinramshackle
@galaxies-and-gore @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @officialdaydreamer00 @krenenbaker
@offorestsongs @kitwasnothere @elenauaurs @boopshoops @inotonline
@1dont-really-know @kazumify @minteasketches @elysia-nsimp @skrimpyskimpy
@casp1an-sea @offorestsongs @tixdixl @poisoned-pearls @the-trinket-witch
@ramshacklerumble @ghostiidasponk @thegoldencontracts @sillyslipperybananapeel @cloudcountry
@skriblee-ksk @twstinginthewind @lumdays @theolivetree123 @natsukishinomiyaswife
@authoruio @jewelulu @raguiras @moonyasnow @skibidibabygirl
@quartztwst @yuizenihaswriten @oya-oya-okay @kirans-wonderland @coffinkissez
@idikeis @s-t-y-x @minutewondertwist @random-twst-and-oc-stuff
20 notes · View notes
toyboxterror · 1 day ago
Text
End Year, New Year
Tumblr media
Pairing: Asakura Shin/Reader
Summary: Shin's plan to give you a New Year gift didn't go as well as he hoped.
Contains: Established relationship, mostly Shin's POV, reader is insecure about their looks, gender neutral reader, they/them pronouns used on reader, but only a couple times and doesn't affect the story.
Author's Note: This was supposed to be published during the anime debut but stuff happened. :P
Huge thanks to @jasminerva for giving her idea, which I used as inspiration! <3
Tumblr media
Shin remembered the time when you were eyeing a necklace. You thought it was beautiful, and Shin agreed in his mind (although he had his eyes more on you when he thought of it). But he only saw negativity in your thoughts.
You traced your fingers slowly around the pendant, as if you didn't deserve to be touching it. It was a stunning necklace, but just imagining wearing it around your neck feels like you ruined its beauty, as if someone like you shouldn't wear such jewelry. But your boyfriend didn't think the same.
“You're not gonna buy it? I think it suits you.”
You laughed at him, as if he was telling you a joke. “Nah, I want to spend my money on something better–” You suddenly gasped when you saw something that caught your attention more. “Shin! Isn't that the vinyl of your favorite album!?”
You already pulled him away excitedly before he could tell you his honest thoughts. His eyes lingered at the ornament as you dragged him away.
He spend the rest of the year saving enough money to buy it. After the end of the year, he rushed to the store and let out a huge sigh in relief. He managed to get his hands on the last copy of the jewelry. He was determined to prove your thoughts wrong.
His plan was to invite you to his family's dinner, then surprise you with the gift when you arrive. He felt enthusiastic from imagining your happy face and thanked him with a kiss. It's really simple and not complicated, isn't it? Then Shin had nothing to worry about. Until something worrying happened.
“Yo, Shin. What are you doing?” Heisuke asked curiously as he took a bite from his warm pork bun. Some of the crumbs fell onto his jacket, and he casually brushed them off to the floor. He had been watching the blond man rummaging around for a while since he got back from buying gift wraps.
“Did you see any small brown box near the cash register? I think I misplaced it around here before I left this morning…” He asked as he picked up and looked into the small empty trash can near him, hoping to find what he's looking for with luck.
“I think I saw it earlier,” Lu, who was sweeping around the store and eavesdropping on the boys, spoke up. She tapped her chin with her finger as she tried to remember. “I thought it was one of the trash along with the empty cup noodles so I threw it away when I was cleaning the counter.”
“Pii.” The little bird perched on Heisuke's shoulder and let out a noise to confirm that he saw it happen.
“WHAT!?” Shin yelled in shock at the top of his voice. Lu and Heisuke were startled by the sudden outburst. The red haired girl almost dropped the broom from her hands.
“T-the box…” He kneeled on the ground and held his head with his hands in distress. “It's a present for [y/n]... They said they're coming over this evening…”
“WHAT!?” / “PII!?”
It was their turn to panic.
“M-maybe it was still in the back of the building. Let's check it out together, yo!” Heisuke pulled on Shin’s arm to make him get up from the floor with the help of Piisuke tugging on his strand of hair. He didn't budge. A thousand of horrifying imaginations already haunted him and made him freeze in place.
“I'll check the nearest dumpsite to see if anyone has already picked up our trash.” Lu said, grabbing her jacket before heading out and lightly kicked on Shin's butt in annoyance. “Stop moping around, it's not over yet! Why did you put that thing around here carelessly, damn it!”
Tumblr media
Shin and Lu sat near the cash register with a dejected expression on their faces even though they're fresh out from a warm bath. The trio spend the whole day digging around the trash to look for the box whenever they're able to. They were covered in stink, so they decided to take turns in cleaning themselves up after closing the shop, with Heisuke being the last.
Shin heard a sniffle beside him. He looked over and jumped at the sight of Lu's tears already wetting almost her whole face with her snots dripping down from her nose. “Whoa! Lu!?”
“S-Shin…. Bwahhh….” She sobbed and looked at Shin with teary eyes. “It's all my fault…. I should have- *sobs* I should have checked what's in the inside…”
Shin watched her wiping her own tears with her sleeves and sighed. He brought his hand to the young girl's head and gave her comforting pats. Lu stopped her sobbings and looked up to him with tears still flowing down from her eyes.
“It's not your fault. It's mine to begin with,” Shin looked away and scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I should have paid more attention and care to my own things. Besides, inside of it is just a cheap cool notebook that I thought [y/n] would like, I can just buy it again next time,” he lied, he didn't want to make Lu feel more guilty. “So don't feel bad.”
He couldn't lie to himself, but he was devastated by the whole thing. He had been saving up for a long time to give you the gift and make you happy. He's not good with accessories, he wasn't sure if he could find another that would suit your taste. Maybe he should gave Yona[1] a call and asked for advice…
“Waah… Shin…” The man felt a sudden tug on his green apron. He glanced at Lu and watched her in terror as she brought the fabric to her face and blew her nose out on it.
“Gah! What the hell!? You could have at least asked for a handkerchief! Get off me!!!” He yelled as he tried to push Lu’s head away from him. But her grip and strength were too strong.
“... Guys?”
The pair of siblings didn't notice the doorbell rang and you already stood by the door. “Are you alright, Lu? Did you two fight again?” You let yourself in to check on Lu as you looked at her in concern.
Shin gave a final pat on Lu's head and smiled at her, signaling her that it's okay and wanted some privacy with you. Lu nodded at him before smiling at you, “It's alright! We just made up, you two have fun!” She winked at them and waved them goodbye as she headed upstairs, leaving the two of you alone in the empty store.
“Sorry about that. We're okay now,” Shin breathed out tiredly, carefully taking his apron so the snot didn't stain on the rest of his clothing and put it on the counter. He groaned, “And Lu dirtied my apron again. It's the usual stuff, don't worry.”
You chuckled. You find it cute at how they quarrel and get along sometimes, they really act and care about each other like siblings.
Ding!
“I heard that!” He glared at you and huffed, his cheeks were tinted with pink. He can admit that he cares for Lu, but sometimes it's a little embarrassing to show it or hear how others talk about it.
You only laughed at him in response and took a seat near him. “You said you want to give me something important before having dinner with your family together. What is it?” You asked giddily. You tried to hide it, but Shin could tell you're excited from how you bit your lip and your eyes lit up from anticipation alone.
“About that…” He tried to find an excuse, a lie, a cover up. He didn't want to disappoint you, but he didn't know how to answer you without letting you down.
No. He shouldn't hide anything from you. It's in the family rules. He took a deep breath, to muster up the courage to tell the truth to you.
“[y/n], I'm really sorry. I wanted to give you a gift for New Year. It took me longer to save up money for it, so it's a bit late. But–”
“[y/n]! [y/n]!”
A young, high pitched voice called out for you, making Shin's and your head turned to the source of the voice. Hana ran up and climbed up to your lap excitedly, clutching something in her hands. You hurriedly held her steadily so she wouldn't fall over. She gave you a tight hug, surprisingly strong for a little girl. “Hana missed you!”
You laughed at her and patted her head, “I missed you too, Hana.”
“Look, look!” She waved the thing in her hand to your face. Shin widened his eyes in disbelief. It was a necklace. The one that he bought for you specifically. “It's a gift for [y/n]! Shin bought it for you!”
Your eyes brightened at her words. “Really!? You planned this together with Hana, Shin? You guys are so sweet!”
“H-huh…?” Shin furrowed his brows in confusion.
Ding!
After tuning into her thoughts, he learned that Hana found the necklace on the counter, the place where he carelessly put it. Unknowing that it was a special gift for you, she used it to play dress up in her room for the whole day.
So that's where it went, and why none of us couldn't find it. Shin thought to himself and smiled, watching Hana happily handing the necklace to you. While he was mentally and physically exhausted from searching for it all over the place, he's relieved that it's safe and sound in his little sister's care this whole time.
You heard Aoi calling out for Hana, saying that her favorite show had already started on TV. She bid you and Shin “bye, bye!” before she eagerly left, leaving the two of you alone once more.
“I remember this necklace. I didn't expect you to buy it for me,” you chuckled lightly at the memory of seeing it for the first time as you admired the beautiful necklace. “I really do want to buy it myself, but I wasn't sure about it. I don't want it to end up not looking good on me and becoming another waste of huge money.”
When Shin felt self-deprecating thoughts and imageries slowly crept on to your mind again, he shook his head and took the necklace from your hands in a gentle manner.
“And I'm here to prove you wrong,” he said and bestowed you with the charming and kind smile that always makes your heart skip a beat. “Turn around. I'll help you put it on.”
You did what you were told. You felt his warm fingers against your skin as he tried to put the necklace around your neck and fumbled with the hook. His touches felt delicate and careful, as if you're fragile and he could break you from even the smallest wrong moves. It was kind of ticklish. You held yourself back from shivering.
“Done.” He said after clasping the hook.
You touched the pendant hanging on your neck. After dreaming about having it once in a while, it felt odd that you finally get to wear something as exquisite as this.
“Uh, there's no mirror around here but you look great!” He stammered, cautiously choosing his words to avoid hurting your feelings on accident. “It really matched your look… But you're more charming than the necklace, of course! Not that the necklace is ugly, but– You know–”
You chortled at him. You brought yourself closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, it surprised him that he shut himself up from making himself sound more awkward. Even though you two already dated for some time, he was still bashful when you got close and touched him like this. You watched his whole face turned bright red as his slightly shaky hands held your hips to keep the two of you steady.
“Thanks, handsome. I wish I bought something for you if I knew you got me a New Year present. But–” When you brought your face closer to him, Shin squeezed his eyes shut and puckered his lips a little too hard. He was still afraid to kiss you, as he wasn't used to it. He was scared of messing it up and ruining the moment for you. But you didn't mind. You find it kind of cute. You made a mental note to teach him how to kiss you properly when you have the time. (It made Shin feel more flustered when he read your thoughts.)
However, instead of getting kissed on the lips, he received one on his cheek.
It was a small kiss, but enough to make his head spin. He opened his eyes and stared at you like a deer stuck in headlights and about to explode from how red his face was.
You laughed at his reaction and patted his chest after you fixed the part of his clothing where you grabbed from the wrinkles, “I hope this will do it for now. I'll give you more after dinner.”
Right on that moment, Heisuke walked in and fresh out from the bath with a towel hanging around his neck. He saw you and his face brightened to see his friend. Completely unaware of the situation, despite seeing the two of you in each others’ arms, he called out to you, “Yo, [y/n]! Have you seen– Ack!”
Thankfully, Lu and Piisuke rushed after him and he was quickly yanked away by the back of his shirt with the bird pulling on his ear. He was shushed by Lu before you and Shin got the chance to spot him, leaving the love birds more time for each other.
Tumblr media
Reference:
A small cameo / mention of Jasminerva‘s OC from cloud8 to show my appreciation for her as a friend.
22 notes · View notes
kotegiris · 2 days ago
Text
[2024 Birthday Card Story - Lamli] No Matter Which Side of Me
Tumblr media
another request! hope you enjoy it anon! again, thank you to my friend who shared this card with me
Chapters 1 & 2
Chapter 1
-The day before Lamli’s birthday-
It has become the season where the sunlight is dazzling… And Lamli’s birthday is coming up tomorrow.
For the butlers’ birthday this year… I already decided what to give them as a present.
A ring for the pinky finger…
A “pinky ring.”
Apparently, wearing a ring on the pinky finger will “prevent happiness from escaping.”
With that meaning in mind… I prepared a ring embedded with a small labradorite gemstone for Lamli. 
Then, I made preparations for the opportunity to hand him the ring… And wrote him a letter.
“Let’s have dinner together on your birthday.”
After the butlers went to bed… I placed the letter in front of the 3rd floor butlers’ room…
That night I fell asleep while looking forward to Lamli’s reaction after he reads the letter.
-The day of Lamli’s birthday-
Knock, knock…
Lamli: Aruji-sama. Can I come in?
> Yeah. > Come in.
Opens
Lamli: Good morning, Aruji-sama!
> Morning, Lamli.
Lamli: Thank you for the letter!
> Did you read it yet?
Lamli: Yes! Of course I did! Thanks to your letter, I’ve been feeling super happy since this morning.
Lamli: Thank you very much.
> I’m glad you’re happy.
Lamli: Fufu, so…
Lamli: According to your letter… We’ll be having dinner together today, right?
Lamli: Could you tell me more about that?
I explained to Lamli.
I told him that this whole day is for him…
We'll go out somewhere together and enjoy his birthday to the fullest…
And finally, we’ll have dinner together.
For dinner, we can decide where we want to go.
I told him that since it’s his birthday, I want him to enjoy himself without holding back.
> Don’t worry about anything and enjoy your birthday. > Let’s eat your favorite foods.
Lamli: W-Wow… I can have Aruji-sama all to myself today…
Lamli: That’s the best news ever!
Lamli: What should I do… I wanted to make you smile lots today, but…
Lamli: I’m the one who ended up smiling so much. I’m so happy…
> If you’re smiling, then I’m also happy. 
Lamli: Aruji-sama…
Lamli: …Geez, you’re too lovely!
Lamli: Fufu ♪ Today I can have Aruji-sama all to myself, and we can go out together…
Lamli: This will be the best day ever!
> Do you have somewhere you want to go?
Lamli: Huh? Is it okay for me to decide?
> Of course. > Let’s go where you want to go.
Lamli: Actually, there’s a place I’ve been wanting to go to with you!
Lamli: There’s a show that just opened recently…
Lamli: It seems like you can see stars there even in the daytime!
> Stars in the daytime?
Lamli: Yeah. I’m not exactly sure how since I’ve only heard rumors, but…
Lamli: From the moment I heard about it, I thought of you… I’ve been wanting to go there together with you!
Lamli: Aruji-sama, would you… Go together with me to see the daytime stars?
> Of course. > Let’s go!
Lamli: Thank you, Aruji-sama.
Lamli: Fufu. I don’t know what kind of stars we’ll see in the daytime, but…
Lamli: Just seeing it together with you… Will make it the best starry sky ever!
Lamli: Then, I’ll go back to my room and get ready to head out!
Lamli: When I’m done, I’ll let you know!
And thus… We decided to momentarily split up to get ready to go out.
-A little later-
Knock, knock…
Lamli: Aruji-sama, I’m done. Can I come in?
> Yeah. > Come in.
Opens
Lamli: Excuse me.
After I finished getting ready, Lamli came inside my room once again.
However… When he opened the door, I saw that he was wearing a different outfit from before.
> That outfit is…
Lamli: Fufu ♪ How do I look, Aruji-sama?
Lamli: It’s this year’s birthday outfit!
Lamli: How is it? Do I look good?
> It looks really good on you.
Lamli: Fufu. Thank you ♪
Lamli: Ever since I got this outfit I’ve been wanting to show it to you.
Lamli: I’m happy I finally got to let you see it ♪
Lamli: Then… Let’s go to the venue!
Lamli: It seems like you can see the daytime stars at the theater in Espoir!
And so… In the carriage that Lamli prepared, we headed to the theater.
【 Espoir - A Certain Theater】
Some time later… The carriage stopped in front of a bustling theater.
Lamli: It seems like the starry sky is on the basement floor here.
Lamli: Looking at the starry sky in the basement… It’s a bit exciting, isn’t it?
Lamli: I wonder what it’s like.
> I’m looking forward to it.
After going to the receptionist… The person in charge guided us to the venue.
Lamli: Woah~... It’s a bit cold going down these stairs.
Lamli: It feels nice since it was hot outside.
Lamli: But you might get cold. Aruji-sama, are you alright?
> I’m alright.
Lamli: Then, I’m glad.
Lamli: But let me know if you get cold!
I’ll go tell a worker and borrow a coat for you!
> Thanks.
The venue we were led to was pitch black, and I could barely see anything around me.
But from the buzz of people, I knew that there were quite a lot of guests here.
Lamli: Aruji-sama, it’s dark, so please watch your step.
Lamli: Oh, I know! Aruji-sama, excuse me for a little!
Saying that…. Lamli gently took my hand.
> Huh?
Lamli: Fufu, this is safer ♪
Lamli: The venue is dark and dangerous, so… In the meantime, can we hold hands?
> Y-Yeah. 
And so, while holding hands, we looked for our seats.
Lamli: Ah, there it is! These are our seats!
Lamli: Aruji-sama! Please take a seat!
> Thank you.
Even after we sat down, Lamli made no move to let go of my hand.
While feeling the warmth of Lamli’s hand… I patiently waited for the show to start.
Step… step… step…
From the wing of the stage, a man came out and bowed gracefully.
Announcer: Welcome. Thank you for coming, everyone. I will now take you to the sea of stars.
At the man’s signal… The dark surroundings instantly changed to a starry sky.
Lamli: Wow! There really are stars!
> (It’s like a planetarium…)
Lamli: It instantly became a starry sky… I wonder how they did that.
Announcer: First, please take a look at the brightest star on the northern side…
Announcer: It’s a star that has continued to be in the center of other stars for thousands of years…
Announcer: That star guides travelers and is also known as the guardian star of the Grovaner family, who have been protecting mankind.
Lamli: Fufu… Isn’t it pretty, Aruji-sama?
> Yeah, it really is.
Lamli: …Ah, that star… Aruji-sama, do you know what that star on the right is?
> Which one?
Lamli: That one over there…
Saying that, Lamli pointed at it.
But… As if he remembered that we were still holding hands…
He only moved his hand slightly and then went back to holding my hand.
> …Lamli?
Lamli: …Fufu. We should be quiet now since the show’s starting.
Lamli: Sorry, Aruji-sama.
When Lamli said that… He had a cheerful and tender smile. 
Then… he lightly squeezed my hand.
I knew that I should be focusing on the stars, but… I couldn’t help myself from focusing on the feeling of his hand holding mine.
Chapter 2
-A little later-
Mesmerized by the beautiful starlight… The show came to an end. 
Lamli: Aruji-sama~! That was amazing!
> It was pretty.
Lamli: It was my first time seeing stars that close up!
Lamli: Being able to see stars during the daytime and in a basement… It was so exciting!
Lamli: It was really pretty… How did they do that?
> Hm~....
Lamli: I’m a bit curious…
Lamli: Ah! Why don’t we go ask the announcer?
Lamli: I saw him go that way. If we go after him now, we can still catch up and ask him!
> Let’s go.
Lamli: Fufu. I thought you’d say that ♪
So we decided to go after the announcer.
Lamli: Ah, there he is!
Lamli: Hey! Announcer~!
After going into the hallway and walking a little… We found the middle-aged man who gave the explanation for the showing.
Lamli walked up to him and began to talk about his thoughts on the showing.
Lamli: The starry sky earlier was so pretty!
Lamli: The location of the stars was pretty much on point too… …There were some that were a little off, though.
Lamli: But it was really amazing! Hey, just how did you do that?
> Lamli, let’s calm down a little.
Announcer: Thank you for your compliments. You’re very knowledgeable about the stars.
Lamli: Yeah! I love stars!
Announcer: Fufu, I see.
Lamli: So… How did you do it?
Announcer: Hm… Normally, I cannot reveal that, but…
Announcer: Your honest feedback made me happy.
Announcer: …As a special service… Let me tell you the basics of the method.
Lamli: Yay! You’re a good person!
Announcer: Fufu, thank you very much. …Now then, about the method…
Announcer: It’s actually not that complicated.
Then, the announcer explained to us the basics of it.
Lamli: Heh~ So that’s how.
Lamli: That’s a very smart way. I look at stars a lot, but I’ve never thought of that~
Announcer: Fufu… Thank… you…
Announcer: I am honored… By your… compliments…
After the announcer answered Lamli’s question… He suddenly became unsteady.
Announcer: Ug…
Lamli: W-Woah. Are you okay?
> He doesn’t look okay.
Lamli: Yeah, he looks a bit sick.
Lamli: …Hey, are you alright?
Announcer: I-I’m alright. My apologies for causing you to worry.
Lamli: But you’re swaying a lot.
Announcer: ……..Recently, this show has been gradually becoming more popular… I’ve had to be on stage for longer.
Announcer: I knew it had been taking a toll on my body, so… I decided to have a stand-in starting today, but…
Announcer: …They’re running a little late.
Announcer: I have one more show left to do before my substitute comes… I just have to endure it a little more.
Lamli: B-But… It doesn’t seem like your body can handle one more show.
> It’d be better for you to rest…
Announcer: …The show’s finally gotten popular. I can’t cancel it now.
Lamli: Hmm~... That’s true, but…
Lamli: At this rate, you’ll collapse…
> What should we do…
Lamli: Hmm~~~…… …………
Lamli: …I know!
Lamli: I’ll do the show for you! In the meantime, you should get some rest.
> Lamli?
Announcer: What!? B-But…
Lamli: If it’s explaining the stars, then there’s no need to worry! You saw how knowledgeable I am about it earlier, right?
Announcer: C-Can I really leave it to you?
Lamli: Yup ♪ You explained to me how it works earlier, so…
Lamli: As thanks, I’ll do the show for you once as your substitute.
Announcer: T-Then… I will accept your kind offer.
Lamli: Fufu ♪ Leave it to me!
Lamli: I said that, but… Sorry for just deciding on my own, Aruji-sama…
Lamli: But… I can’t leave him alone when he’s about to collapse…
Lamli: I know I’m being selfish, but… Could you go along with it for a little?
> Uhm……
I thought it was very nice of Lamli to want to help the announcer, and I knew that he was very knowledgeable about the stars.
However… I had something else that I was concerned about…
He’s always very energetic, so I wondered if he could create a mellow atmosphere for the show…
I couldn’t get rid of my worries.
> Will you really be okay?
Lamli: I’ll be fine! We saw the show earlier, so I know what kind of mood I need to make.
Lamli: And I know which stars I need to give an explanation for!
He answered, brimming with self-confidence.
I thought it would be rude to keep worrying over him, so I decided to believe in him and leave it to him.
> Do your best, Lamli!
Lamli: I will! Thank you for believing in me, Aruji-sama!
Lamli: I’ll do it properly until the very end, so… Don’t worry and just watch me from the audience!
> Got it.
Then, the announcer guided Lamli backstage.
I sat down in the same seat as before and waited for Lamli’s show to start.
While I nervously looked around the dark venue…
The sound of elegant and light footsteps resounded in the dark.
Lamli: Welcome. Thank you for coming, everyone. I will now take you to the sea of stars.
> (That… Is that really Lamli’s voice?)
Lamli, who had a different air to him than usual, gracefully bowed.
At that moment… My surroundings were instantly enveloped in a starry sky.
Lamli: First…
Lamli: Everyone, please take a look at the brightly shining Big Dipper on your right.
Lamli: Because of its bright shine… It has been passed down for generations as a constellation that resembles a certain person’s weapon…
Lamli: That’s right… It’s the person that we all give thanks to during Thanksgiving, Goetia-sama.
Lamli: According to the legend…
Lamli: Thousands of years ago… Goetia-sama protected this land from the angels all by himself.
Lamli: He was loved and respected by the people.
Lamli: It is said that after Goetia-sama passed… Out of respect and devotion, the people created this constellation for him.
> (Lamli’s amazing…) > (I can’t help but be drawn to his explanation…)
Lamli: And on the other side is…
Without any mistakes… Lamli elegantly continued explaining.
Despite my concerns… The show ended without any issues.
The guests left the venue looking satisfied.
Lamli: Aruji-sama! How was I? Did I do well?
> You were perfect. > You were amazing. 
Lamli: Really? Yaay!
After the show ended, Lamli immediately went over to me.
Without a doubt… It was the usual cheerful him.
Announcer: Thank you very much for doing the show in my stead.
Announcer: Thanks to you, the show was able to go on without any cancellations. How could I ever repay you?
Announcer: I know! There’s still a little bit of time left before the next show.
Announcer: I’ll fully reserve the venue for just the two of you until then. Please take your time and gaze at the stars all you like.
Lamli: What!? Really?! Yaay!
> Thank you.
Lamli: Fufu, I’m so happy ♪
Lamli: …Earlier I was giving an explanation to all the guests, but… Actually, I wanted to give an explanation to only you.
Lamli: Aruji-sama… Could you leave it to me to tell you about the stars?
> Of course. > Please do.
Lamli: Thank you, Aruji-sama!
Lamli: Then… Let’s hurry before the next show starts!
> Yeah.
And so we decided to return to the venue to gaze at the stars again.
Lamli: Look! That’s the froggie constellation!
Lamli: Ah! Do you know what’s over there?
Lamli: If you connect the brightest stars together… It becomes the Aruji-sama constellation!
Lamli was telling me, not about this world’s constellations, but… His original ones that he came up with.
> Uhm… Which star is it?
Lamli: That one, Aruji-sama!
Lamli: …Ah, I know. Excuse me for a little!
Saying that, Lamli took my hand and pointed at the star.
Lamli: That star! Do you see it?
> Y-Yeah…
Lamli: Fufu… Then, next is…
> Lamli, our hands…
Saying that I looked at our joined hands…
Lamli looked as if he just got caught pulling a trick and gave me a small smile.
Lamli: …Aruji-sama… Can’t we keep holding hands like this?
Lamli: At the first show, we had to be quiet, and I couldn’t explain anything to you like how I am now, but…
Lamli: This time, I want to directly tell you about the stars while holding your hand.
Lamli: It’s just us here, so no one will see…
Lamli: So can’t I? Is it no good, Aruji-sama?
> That’s…
Lamli patiently stared at me, and I couldn’t refuse him…
I felt my heart beat faster and timidly nodded. 
> …Alright, let’s keep holding hands.
Lamli: Fufu… Thank you, Aruji-sama ♪
This was my third show of the day… My heart raced at feeling Lamli’s warmth…
We enjoyed a very happy and fun time.
-A little later-
Our small and private show came to an end… And we arrived at a restaurant with a stylish feel.
The seats were all private rooms, so there was no need to worry about the gaze of other people.
We were able to freely enjoy a delicious dinner and take our time looking back on today.
Lamli: The star show… It was so amazing!
> Yeah, it was.
Lamli: We were able to see so many stars even though it was daytime.
Lamli: I heard the rumors, but… I was surprised at how beautiful it was in person.
Lamli excitedly talked about the show. Seeing Lamli’s smile…
I thought that now would be a good time to give him his birthday present. 
> Hey, Lamli?
Lamli: Yes? What is it, Aruji-sama?
> For you.
I took out a small box from my bag.
Of course, inside the box was… The pinky ring I wanted to give him.
Lamli: Is this… a birthday present?
> Yup.
Lamli: I didn’t think you’d go out of your way to prepare a present for me…
Lamli: You spending the whole day with me today was already the best birthday present…
Lamli: I’m so happy; I think I’m gonna cry.
Lamli: Aruji-sama… Thank you.
Lamli: Uhm… Can I open it now?
> Of course. > Open it.
After getting permission from me, Lamli immediately opened the box.
Upon opening the lid… The mysterious shine of the labradorite poured out from within.
Then, I explained to him about the birthday present.
I decided to give the butlers a pinky ring for their birthdays because…
I wish for each and every butler’s everlasting happiness…
And… The reason why I chose to have Lamli’s ring embedded with labradorite is because…
Labradorite is said to be a mysterious stone with a beautiful and deep shine that changes depending on the angle it’s viewed from…
I thought it was like Lamli since the more time I spend with him, the more different and charming sides of him I see.
I told Lamli everything.
Lamli: …Charming?
Lamli: You think that someone like me is charming?
> Don’t say “someone like me.”
Lamli: Huh…
> You’re very charming.
The usual cheerful Lamli and the calm Lamli that I saw today at the show…
All of him is charming… I straightforwardly told him that.
Lamli: The me today…too?
> That’s right.
Lamli: I see… …So you like me when I’m calm too.
> Of course I do.
Lamli: …Thank you, Aruji-sama.
Lamli: ……Uhm… Aruji-sama…
Lamli: Between the calm me from today and the cheerful me… Which one do you like more?
> Huh?
Lamli: I…
Lamli: I want to live as the me you like more…
> …Which one is more comfortable for you, Lamli?
Lamli: Huh? More comfortable…?
> I don’t want you to force yourself.
Lamli: Aruji-sama… You really do care about me.
> Because you’re precious to me.
Lamli: …You’re too kind, Aruji-sama.
Lamli: …But… You don’t need to worry; I’m okay.
Lamli: If I’m able to have your love… Being either side of me isn’t tough.
Lamli: As long as you love me… I can be either one.
> Lamli…
Lamli: So please… Pick one, Aruji-sama.
Lamli: Between the calm me and the cheerful me… Which one do you like more?
> There’s no need for me to choose.
Lamli: Huh?
> Both sides are you after all.
Lamli: Aruji-sama… But…
Between the cheerful Lamli and the calm Lamli… I can’t pick one.
Both sides are precious to me because they’re both a part of Lamli.
> I love all of you.
Lamli: Aruji-sama…
Lamli: …Thank you. …I’m so, so happy…
Tumblr media
Lamli: Fufu, me too…
Lamli: Your kindness and warmth… I…… love all of you too.
Lamli smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smile that was bright like the sun… It was an earnest and peaceful smile that was like the stars.
> Happy birthday, Lamli.
Lamli: …Thank you, Aruji-sama.
Lamli: I’m truly glad that I met you.
Lamli: I’m truly glad that I was born…
The lively Lamli and the mature Lamli…
And whatever other sides he may have… Lamli is a precious person to me.
Whatever may happen, that fact won’t change.
With those feelings in mind… From the bottom of my heart, I wished him a happy birthday.
END
30 notes · View notes
vi-is-badass · 2 days ago
Text
Haha. Love that we've abandoned the idea that we're not writing essays.
I want to start off by agreeing with a few of your points. I can definitely see the threads you pointed out about Viktor always having a negative view of his disabilities. I hadn't really thought of Viktor's flashback that way, but I think I like the way you framed it more because it feels more cohesive. I appreciate the new perspective!
I also completely agree with your points about Silco in the alternate reality. Silco's personal beliefs and philosophy were so incompatible with Vander's by the start of the series that I simply cannot believe that the letter would mend things between them. I think you put it better than I could.
Caitlyn's arc in act 1 was also another point I completely agree on. Her descent into authoritarianism is fascinating and the way the show frames Caitlyn's "justice" as hypocritical is brilliant. I also completely agree that it fizzles out. (I have a lot of thoughts on that. Question: What do you think is the biggest reason for that? I have my own thoughts, but I'm curious to hear yours)
This response is going to have a lot to do with Vi because I have a lot to say about her and the way she was written in the last act. (unlike a lot of people I love the writing for her in acts 1 and 2, but feel like the last act is where her arc didn't work)
I agree with most of what you wrote. I only really have 2 points of conflict.
The first is that I don't think I agree with the idea that Vi shouldn't necessarily play a vital role in the final battle. There are 3 main reasons for that. (wow brevity is not my strong suit)
1. I think the idea you presented that "even the best efforts of a strong, kindhearted person can't overcome the cold reality of oppression and war" my issues come from the story and framing around it.
In season 1 Vi's inability to stop things or prevent the outcomes that occur aren't framed around that idea. Or more accurately I don't feel like they were intentionally framed around this idea. Instead, they are framed around her inability to accept change and move forward.
The most blatant example of this is in the bridge scenes in episodes 1 and 7. In those scenes every character's role is reversed except for Vi's. The enforcers are the ones on the ground with Jinx being the one shooting them. It's a direct mirror of what happened in the first episode, but Vi is still the "helpless child" who can only observe the destruction and try to protect the person she's with (though she doesn't fully succeed).
Because she was in prison she's essentially been stuck in stasis for 7 years while the world moved on without her. She hasn't had the chance to grow like everyone else.
The tragedy is that her understandable struggle to accept change in season 1 inevitably, unintentionally pushes Jinx further away.
Season 2 act 1 continues that thread and has her reject the reality in front of her. "My sister is dead." She can't accept that her sister has changed and become Jinx, so she rejects that reality and insists that the "monster" that is Jinx killed Powder. It's only when she's about to kill Jinx and Isha jumps between them that Vi recognizes her sister again. Her denial is shattered. Jinx is her sister. She can't deny change in the world or in her sister anymore.
Act 2 continues this thread and shows that she has grown to the point where she can accept change. The end of episode 5 is only possible because Vi trusts Jinx, sees her as an equal/adult rather than someone to protect, and embraces this changed version of Vander. She is no longer desperately clinging to the version of her family from her memories.
I personally feel like Vi's inability to bring about the outcome she wants is framed more around this flaw than the thematic idea you presented because of how much of a core pillar this flaw is to her arc.
If the end of episode 6 was framed around the idea you put forth and her ending in episode 9 wasn't framed like a "happy ending" for her (I don't personally think it's happy, but the show seems to want to frame it that way) I would be able to accept from a thematic level that Vi's lack of substantial impact on the final battle makes sense.
But I'm not sure it truly fits even if I agree that Vi's kindhearted nature is what the show framed as what was preventing her from making a substantial impact. Ekko, Jayce, and Mel are all framed as morally good, kindhearted characters who are trying to do the right thing and yet they are all integral to the final battle.
Maybe I misunderstood what you meant by your statement. You can disagree with me and counter my point if you want. I think your points are very interesting and I'm willing to listen.
I want to make it clear that I do think the idea you presented is very interesting and tragic. Vi is a genuinely kindhearted person and presenting a counter to the typical belief that the protagonist with a good heart can save the day is such a fascinating idea. Outside of rare examples in fiction like The Hobbit, which is written by a man highly critical of war, you rarely get a story where the protagonist doesn't do something to shift the outcome of a climactic battle/war. I just don't feel like that was what the show was intentionally implying.
2. Vi is the only main character that has no substantial impact on the final battle.
This is a big one for me because every other character does something that makes it so they can't be removed from the final episode. Caitlyn and Mel take on Ambessa and are the ones that take her down. Jayce and Ekko are the main reasons Viktor is defeated. I already wrote what Jinx does to impact the final battle. They are all essential for the story to play out the way that it does.
Personally, I feel like that's what should happen in the climactic battle of your story unless you're making a bigger statement through the decision to have the character be unimportant.
3. A lot felt like it was dropped with Vi in the final act. There were so many threads and arcs that the show set up for her that were left feeling incomplete.
Vi's lack of impact on the final battle could have been easier for me to swallow if her arc felt complete.
In season one and the first two acts of season 2 Vi is struggling to find her place between the cities of Piltover and Zaun. She doesn't quite fit into either one. In the first season she's alienated from Zaun because she's just gotten out of prison after 7 years and Zaun has changed without her so she doesn't recognize the city or its people. She struggles to find the community she once held dear in a Zaun morphed by the man that killed her family. In the second it's due to her choice to join the strike team. Even if it was with good intentions she still joined their oppressor and became a "traitor". And she doesn't fit into Piltover because of the prejudice held towards Zaunites even though her only real tether after getting out of prison is Caitlyn-- a pitovan.
Unless you want to believe that the answer is simply "by Cailtyn's side" that thread isn't resolved. At least not in a direct way.
She also doesn't know her place in the world. She was never allowed to be an adult and discover what she wants to do or what she wants to be. League lore dictates that it's eventually to be an enforcer, which I guess we can infer she became off screen either between the meeting and the final battle or between the final battle and the epilogue, but the fact that it's not really addressed and doesn't happen onscreen I don't really count that.
They don't really allow Vi to move past her guilt and responsibility. She feels responsible for what she did to Powder as a child, she feels responsible for what happened to Mylo and Claggor and Vander at that warehouse, she feels responsible for what happened to Caitlyn and her mother. She feels immense guilt and responsibility due to her parentification as a child and what she perceives to be her failures as a big sister to Jinx. I am a little confused at to how the last act allowed Vi to move past any of this. Maybe I missed something the writer’s implied or something, but I didn’t see what moment or beat was meant to be Vi moving out from under the weight. I get that Jinx tells her that she isn’t Vi’s responsibility (absolving Vi in a sense of the responsibility she feels for her and what Jinx went on to do) but if that’s the conclusion (plus her getting together with Caitlyn) it felt half baked to me.
Why would Vi move past her guilt after all that? Wouldn't the way that Jinx "died" (Jinx isn't dead but Vi believes that Jinx is) just add more guilt onto her shoulders? Wouldn't she view this as another failure on her part? She "made the wrong choice" and Jinx had to sacrifice herself for her as a result. (I don't view it this way but Vi likely does unless she worked through it off-screen)
I think a lot of my issues could be solved through a few of the fixes you already presented yourself. Vi interacts more with the firelights or an expansion on Vi's thoughts about Caitlyn's descent into authoritarianism outside of guilt, etc.
Now onto my second point of contention: Jinx's ending. I agree and disagree with you.
I firmly believe she didn't die, so that colors my perception of this ending, and because of that I feel like the ending on its face is good for Jinx. She finally succeeds in protecting her family, her sister who she loves more than anything, and gets to willingly leave Piltover and the violence it wrought in her life behind to start a new chapter.
Jinx feels like she is a literal curse in the lives of the people she loves. She accidentally killed Mylo, Claggor, and Silco and believes she's the reason Vander and Isha are dead. Yet all she's ever wanted to do was protect them. There's a reason she looks so glad when she's falling. She's happy that she protected her sister and can give her a chance at a future.
JInx leaving Piltover is also something I feel like does make sense. Even if she stayed after saving Piltover she would likely still be charged for her crimes or hunted down. At least now she gets to leave the violence and oppression of her life behind and build something new.
My issues with the finale come from two things: the way the show (and writers) framed it and the fact that Vi believes Jinx is dead.
This is a literal excerpt from an interview "There is a definitive tragedy in Arcane where healing is only possible by letting something go, even if it’s a person you've spent your entire life trying to save. Vi not being able to accept parts of who she is or be with the woman she loves without such a sacrifice is heartbreaking in itself, but the circumstances behind the ending we received make sense, whether Jinx survived in that explosion and escaped on an airship or not".
The way it's worded makes it seem like Jinx had to "die" for Caitlyn and Vi to get together and I despise that framing.
This excerpt (and all the post season 2 interviews) frame it as if Vi would always choose Jinx to her own detriment, but that's simply not the case in season 2. Every time Vi chooses Jinx in season 2 it's framed as the right thing to do: Vi stops Caitlyn from taking the shot, everything in episode 5, Vi freeing Jinx from prison. They all lead to better outcomes.
They even have a whole scene in episode 5 that builds to Vi admitting that Jinx hasn't needed her in a long time. Vi understands by this point that Jinx is her own person.
I 100% believe that Vi should have seen Jinx after her "death" to confirm to her and the audience that Jinx is in fact alive and been told by Jinx that she's going to leave Piltover. Vi is left with a choice to stay in Piltover and be with Caitlyn or leave with Jinx. In this moment she chooses to let Jinx go.
They both get the ending the ending they need, Jinx is confirmed alive (something I think needed to happen considering her suicidal ideation), and Vi gets an actual moment of growth and completes her arc with her sister.
Vi's arc is about accepting and moving on from the past this would have provided a satisfying conclusion to that arc. Jinx completed her arc, but deserves a chance to live her life and I think having Jinx choose to live after trying to die all season would be more powerful than the tragedy the ambiguity brings to the story.
The explanation given in the interview just flies in the face of the character development that we got and ignores the arcs they set up. The choice to leave it ambiguous was clearly meant to create more emotional damage but it was at the expense or Vi, Jinx, and their arc as sisters.
So I guess I do have the same complaints as you, but it's tied less to my own personal interpretation and more to the intent of the framing of the scene.
Wow... that was a lot. I've been really fascinated with the points you bring up. It's changed the way I view certain things like your points about Viktor. I also think your points about the way Arcane approached its systemic issues are incredibly nuanced and well articulated. It's always fun to read!
youtube
I actually think this video is really interesting. Not because I fully agree with it (there are a lot of points in the video I don't agree with and a lot that I do), but because I appreciate its intent.
I also fall in the same boat where I really liked the second season, but I didn't love it like I did the first and I appreciate that this is a video that wants to start a conversation. He wants to talk about why things didn't necessarily work for him, why it didn't seem to have the same impact as the first, and about how he wants to hear why those things might have worked for others.
So much discourse about this season has framed it as either the best thing ever, above any criticism, or the worst thing ever with no redeeming qualities and it's made it very frustrating and demoralizing to try and talk about it online.
I want to talk about how I loved aspects of this show and that I was also let down by certain aspects of the show as well, but anytime I try and talk about criticism it's rarely met with a genuine conversation.
I would love to hear how people interpreted things differently from me, why they felt that way, how it connected with them, because I feel like that's the purpose of stories. It's never going to resonate with anyone the same way and there may have been things I missed.
I also know I haven't always worded what I've wanted to say and my criticisms the way I want to get across what I mean. It has never been my intent to sound like I wasn't open to discussion, different interpretations, or counterpoints. I would like to actually talk more about this season and hear other people's thoughts as well.
54 notes · View notes
ppystkposts · 1 month ago
Note
(feel free to ignore c;) dear funny, beautiful and talented human bean, Happy New Year <3 hope it'll bring you lots of happy, productive and as stressless as possible moments. sending virtual muwah catch this sketchy puppy...pipi... ppy...
Tumblr media
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
THIS IS ADORABLE, CUTE, SWEET, PRETTY, EVERYTHING 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH, VAL. IM REALLY AM SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL 😢🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I wish you a peaceful and beautiful 2025 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
88 notes · View notes
exhaustedcatte · 1 year ago
Text
Detention, boys!
“–pair of troublemakers, they are,” Pomona Sprout wailed. “I know it was them, but there’s no way to prove it.”
Minerva, who’d just walked in, already knew who the offending duo could be. “Potter and Black?”
“Potter and Black,” she confirmed. “Charmed all of my Mandrakes to sing! Sing! Can you believe it?!”
A smile unwillingly pulled on the Gryffindor House-head’s mouth.
“What did they sing?” Professor Sinistra asked curiously.
Pomona ducked, shy. “I didn’t recognize the song, but Ms Bones said it was a muggle band called—ehem.” She cleared her throat and whispered, “The Sex Pistols.”
Minerva suppressed a loud guffaw, forced it back down her throat, and allowed a small grimace. Sinistra had no objections, laughing cheerfully.
“I bet you that was all Lupin,” she said, still grinning. “I’ve heard him giving gospels on muggle music with such ardor, you’d have thought he was being paid to advertise.”
Minerva didn’t know muggle music, but she knew her boys. This prank definitely had their signature on it, not just the handle on magic, but the careless display of talent.
Charming those noisy crybaby Mandrakes was no easy feat.
“I’ll hand out detention for the weekend,” Minerva said easily. “Potter and Black for the frontline work, Lupin for definitely pointing them towards the charms and Pettigrew for stealing all of your Mandrakes,” she raised her brows.
Pomona sighed, smiling.
The thing was, it was easy to detain them for smaller, localised pranks. It had their magical imprint all over it. While they had stepped into juvenile delinquency and thrown dung bombs, most of their practical jokes were, well, practical. Neatly studied and practiced. Difficult charms and jinxes. Hexes that Minerva had almost forgotten about since her own school days.
They’d made the suit of armours duel outside the Defence classroom, transfigured every single notebook in their class into origami birds, charmed it to fly away and got them all let off class. Hexed the Slytherins to speak in haikus for two full days. They’d also frozen the Lake into an ice rink in the cusp of summer post-exams. Pranks against which Finite Incantatem were useless. They put a lot of effort into their jokes, which somehow turned out just as remarkable as their neglected schoolwork.
But she’d given them many cauldrons and trophies and broom closets to clean for all of those, because she knew only they could be responsible for such intelligent tomfoolery.
What was difficult to pin on them was larger, vastly spread magic, because their trace was faint when it was distributed wide, mingling with everyone else’s magic. In theory she would put all her money on it being the Marauders, but she couldn’t simply accuse them when no one had seen them out of bed, no misbehaving, nothing. Very mystifying.
Which was why she was effectively silenced when she walked into the Great Hall on Tuesday. Everything seemed fine at first, but then she noticed, after hearing the excited tittering.
The Slytherins were emerald green. Minerva almost marched down to the quartet – the rivalry was telling. But she glanced around and saw the Hufflepuffs drenched in yellow. The Ravenclaws and Gryffindors were not spared either, dyed in their own house colours.
Minerva peered down her table. The other professors were trying to puzzle out how this had been achieved. She was silently proud that they kept glancing at the four boys on the far end, as if trying to read the answer straight from their brains. They knew no one else was capable of such advanced magic while still being playful.
Minerva looked over to them.
The Marauders were maintaining a strong air of ignorance despite the obvious looks being thrown their way from students and teachers alike.
Remus was stirring his likely fourth sugar into his tea, while Sirius kept nibbling the untouched toast from his friend’s hand. James was roughing his hair up and laughing at something Peter was whispering into his ear. They were also painted a vibrant red, probably as an alibi.
“I know it’s them,” Dumbledore said lowly, eyes dancing with mirth. “But I do think it’s rather spectacular, don’t you agree, professor?”
She huffed a laugh. “Yes.”
It was hard to tack this on them, not when Potter and Black, who despite knowing magic straight out of the womb, would vehemently deny everything and call it a fluke of someone’s luck. Not when Lupin, a severely clever werewolf who often downplayed his own intellect, would disagree politely and be off in that quiet way of his. Not when Pettigrew, the most unassuming and yet the sneakiest of them all, would lie impressively through his teeth.
She sat back and sipped her tea, enjoying the humorous sight of the bright morning sun reflecting off of the colourful skins of her students. But mostly she was observing her band of troublemakers.
They were still hanging off of each other’s shoulders like limpets, clingy and supremely codependent, in the best possible way. She watched Sirius proof-read a parchment Peter had given him. Remus was feeding James his scones and cream, who was trying, futilely, to tame his hair with a bottle of Fleamont’s Hair Gel that had just arrived with the owls.
These idiot boys, she thought fondly.
There would be no way to prove it was them other than their excited footsteps and victorious laughter that echoed through her office later that day.
Minerva McGonagall stepped into the hallway, unable to tamp down the pride in her voice when she called out, “Detention, boys!”
186 notes · View notes
call-me-copycat · 1 month ago
Note
Hello! Hope you're well!!
Tumblr media
Ahh, I'm sorry for the late answer! I saw this the day you sent it but I didn't have any energy left in me due to work (·︿· `)
Thank you thank you thank you! I look forward to enjoying MHA and Aizawa with you all next year too! And hopefully the year after that! And so on ( ˶>ᴗ<˶)
Thank you for being my friend! I adore every comment and tag I get to read from you, I appreciate you very much! (´∇`)
As a thank you, I drew this for you!
Tumblr media
Wishing you well! Happy 2025! ヽ(。ゝω・)ノ☆
୨୧┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈୨୧
Extras for those interested:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
33 notes · View notes
gilgil-machine · 1 month ago
Text
HE FINALLY CAME!!!😭😭😭
My king, my supreme commander🫡😚💕
Tumblr media Tumblr media
21 notes · View notes
sopekooks · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“where flowers bloom, so does hope.”
happy birthday @huhfeatjhope ♡︎
675 notes · View notes
httpsh3 · 1 month ago
Text
happy new years eve i hope 2025 will be less horrendoues than 2024 has been
Tumblr media
15 notes · View notes