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readychilledwine · 5 months ago

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Hi!, here's a Tamlin x reader request. So reader is always so fun and smiley and happy but every night, when everyone is asleep, she goes to the garden and sits there alone crying because of her abusive past. One day, when Tamlin goes to open the window at night, he notices you crying while sitting in the garden. Then he realises you do it every day. So one day, when reader goes to the garden, she notices he's sitting there. He asks her why cries there every night and they have a lil chat, and then tamlin eventually cups her face, looks her in the eyes and tells her "you mean everything to me. There's no one that matters to me more than you" or something like that. And then he just comforts her 🥺. Just make it super fluffy ✨️.

Among The Lilies

Summary - There was always a pro and con to every situation, and being Lady Spring was no different.

Warnings - Mentions of alcohol, overstimulation, feelings of being out of place and not belonging

A/N - This has been sitting in my drafts for a while. I am so sorry to the anon who requested this. I'm still not sure I captured what I was hoping for with this, but fingers crossed.

🌹Tamlin Masterlist🌹Master Masterlist🌹

You sighed as you chugged your second glass of sweet floral wine, watching the fae of your court dance for another night of celebrations. You weren't used to this. You were a forest nymph, a low fae who the Cauldron seemed to think belonged with Tamlin, a High Lord. You were not used to loud parties filled with fae laughing and dancing the way Tamlin was. You were used to silence, to fireside celebrations, small groups among a large crowd. You made the best of his gathering, though. Becoming known for being the life of the party and dancing the night away.

Celebrations like this had started to become a norm. Every accomplishment was met with wine, music, and dancing as Tamlin brought your home back to its former glory. The fae of Spring had been so excited to celebrate the Equinox this year that they had asked you and Tamlin to take it from a night of debauchery and fun to a week of dancing, drinking, and revelry. It would be the first the court had celebrated in 6 years and with the new court voted taxation system, the new faith in their High Lord, and if rumors and whispers were true, the influence of you, it was hard for Tamlin to deny them anything.

So here you were. Wearing the smile that didn't reach your eyes, struggling to breathe in the corset dress you had a love-hate relationship with, and waiting to slip out unnoticed. You had been enjoying yourself, but you were slowly becoming over stimulalated from the countless males and females touching you, thanking you, trying to dance with you. You were exhausted from the late parties that quickly faded into morning duties and after assignments.

You finally saw your chance, sparing one last look to where your husband stood, Lucien by his side, laughing at something Tarquin said. You bolted then, running to the doors and through the halls before slowing to a walk at the private garden Tamlin had planted for you.

The garden had become your safe place. A place for you to cry, to use your magic to recenter yourself, and to find peace. You felt almost guilty, coming here again and bombarding the poor sprites as they danced and enjoyed their little fires and celebration. Such small, kind creatures, but yet some of Springs most important. "Forgive me," you inclined your head before heading to the fountain you knew they'd be nowhere near.

This had become a ritual for you the past few nights, hiding out here with your back and head against the cool marble, breathing in the scent of fresh blooming roses and lilies. You typically stayed here until you relaxed before heading back in, but a sprite had different plans this time.

Small hands touched your cheek, wiping the tears that were falling as you finally collected yourself. A female fluttered her gossamer like wings next to you, her light green skin contrasting her flower petal dress. "Why is my lady sad?"

You smiled, holding a hand out to her and allowing her to land. "Not sad, just tired."

"Lilies are the flowers of sadness. You come here when you're sad. You go to the roses when you're blushing. The daisies for joy." She stood and held your thumb as if to hug and hold you. "Please tell me what's wrong?" Your heart ached, burdening this innocent creature with your frustration. Yet, she only nodded, seeming to understand the feelings you were having. Soon, you two became so engrossed in conversations that you didn't notice green eyes watching from a window and a sharp mind wondering why his wife had closed off their bond.

The next night was more of the same. More fae dragging you to dance. More hands touching your exposed arms. More music. More everything. You were not sly as you escaped this time and all but ran to your beloved fountain. Faltering, you saw Tamlin, a single rose in his hand as he sat watching the sprites.

"I had thought to myself, perhaps my rose just needed fresh air the first night you ran out here," his voice washed over you like rain as you walked over, sitting next to him. "Then it happened again. And again. Then, for the fourth time. And again tonight. You're coming here to cry, and evidently do so frequently, your friends have told me that much," a sprite with a familiar smile disappeared from your view. "But she will not tell me the one thing I want to know." His eyes finally met yours, lingering and studying your expression. "Why," the question was simple, one you should have been able to answer.

You finally found it in your mind, looking at the root of the complicated problem. "I struggle to feel I belong among the high fae still." You took a spot beside him, pulled your knees up and hugged them. "I offer pretty smiles, I give them the positive words they expect, and I play the part of happy wife, but I still struggle."

He hummed, his calloused hand finding yours, "Are you a happy wife? Or do I need to provide more?" His tone had changed, realizing this was more than feeling overcrowded. This was his mate, opening that dark feeling he knew was festering.

You could only smile at him, a real one that did reach your eyes, "I am happy in all aspects of our marriage. I just want a sense of belonging when it comes to other courtly matters." That was where you struggled. You struggled with the weight that came from the jewels you wore, the circlet on your head.

"Oh, you belong," he murmured as he pulled you closer. "You are this court. The very soul that drives it. Being a nymph does nothing to change that." His thumb came up, wiping a tear you had not realized was falling. "There is more. I can feel an ache in your heart wanting to come forward."

Moments of silence passed, "Am I enough?" That question had him cupping your chin, forehead resting against yours as you continued. "I don't want to be High Lady. I don't have the drive and ambition Lady Summer, Lady Night, or Lady Day have. I enjoy my place at your side, but not-"

His free hand came up, holding both sides of your face as he shushed you, thumbs continuing to swipe your cheeks. "You are more than enough. You are everything to me." His forehead stayed touching yours, your noses brushing as he spoke, "I love you as you are, for who you are. It would break me to see you change your drive to match the desires of others instead of your own."

You nodded as you were listening to his words. You could feel the beat of your heart beginning to match his, your body relaxing to match his. "I just want to be everything you've ever asked for," you confessed.

"And you are more," his lips twitched, "Cauldron, you are so much more. You are perfect for me. Perfect for my court. You are-" Tamlin paused trying to find the words. "I could write all the poetry in the world, source from the greatest love stories of legend, yet nothing could compare to what you are to me."

Those tears changed at that, sadness replaced by warmth as he touched his lips to yours in a comforting kiss before pulling back. "You are my sun," he whispered. "You are not just my world. You are the center I orbit. You are the source of light and warmth. You are how I time my day." Your smile was growing as he continued to speak, hands finding his broad chest as your eyes closed to fully process and enjoy the timber of his voice.

"I love you. I just.. I love you." He ended it so easily. Three words that encompassed thousands of emotions he could describe. "Never change and never hide these feelings from me. Let me help shoulder your burdens."

You leaned up, kissing him as you opened the bond, "And I love you." Your arms wrapped around him, head resting on his chest. "We should go back before our guests worry."

"Let them worry," he kissed the top of your head. "Let's enjoy the garden and the sprites."

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#elizabeths.updates #send asks #send anons #acotar #acotar x reader #tamlin x reader #tamlin x you #tamlin x yn #tamlin x y/n #tamlin acotar #tamlin #pro tamlin #pro tamlin healing arch #high lord of spring

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tremsing82 · 15 days ago

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“Tamlin is so toxic!!!! He did nothing for 50yrs, put his territory and citizens at risk by working with Hybern, and was controlling and possessive of Feyre”

You mean the territory that his pedophile predator and his former friend helped torture and destroy for 50yrs? You know Amarantha captured most of springs citizens, locked them into tiny cells in the deepest areas under the mountain and then starved them forcing them to resort to extreme means to survive. And Rhys helped.

Rhys did a lot to help Amarantha for those 50yrs just to protect a hidden city and his family. Family who are actually not affected by the power binding spell Amarantha put on everyone else. So family who are pretty powerful enough and well connected to help maybe overthrow Amarantha. And for 50yrs Rhys family didn’t do squat with Velaris citizens to get them ready to maybe one day try to end Amarantha’s reign or to maybe be ready to go help the rest of Prythian if Amarantha finally did lose power. No Rhys’ family just hung around for 50yrs in his townhouse, going to Rita’s and the theaters, and fucking in alleys. Velaris still has no army to go to war with, to help fight for their freedom. Velaris knows of the destruction and suffering the other courts went through and yet they’re not sending monetary aid or going to help these courts rebuild. They didn’t even open their boarder till Rhys promised safety, to anyone who can make it, at the high lord meeting.

Also Rhys hunted down and executed any Illyrians who bent the knee to Amarantha, you mean like you did?!?!? Or how about Amarantha knew nothing about Cassian, Az, Mor, or Amren even though 2 of those people are their Illyrian general and Illyrian Shadowsinger so those Illyrians who bent the knee never once talked or delved secrets of Rhys’ court to Amarantha but Rhys executed them for doing the same thing he did.

But yes let’s be mad at Tamlin for being strategic in working with Hybern. Hybern was going to invade spring no matter what. Tamlin striking a deal with him allowed Tamlin time to prepare his people and lands. Tamlin using the deal to get Feyre was him rescuing her from an evil tyrant. Yes the readers know that Rhys is a “good guy” but Tamlin and Lucien have no clue.

Rhys for 50yrs tortured and killed people for Amarantha. A Daemati killed 12 children in winter court, there was only 1 known Daemati at the time in Amarantha’s court. This same man spent 3months drugging and sexually exploiting Feyre. This same man put a bargain tattoo on Feyre that allows him to own her 1 week a month. This same man rules over a dark court that lives under a mountain. This same man is a Daemati who has the ability to mentally control and manipulate people’s minds. I am sorry but no 4 sentence note is going to make me believe that the woman who I love, the woman who spent 3 months of hell trying to save me, that the woman who died for me is safe and happy and doesn’t want me to look for her.

#acotar #lucien vanserra #tamlin #pro tamlin #rhys critical #feyre critical #no I do not believe Rhys killed the winter court children but even Kallias thought it was Rhys #spring court #Velaris critical #I hate Velaris #so fucken much #anti rhysand #anti Rhys #anti Feyre

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parkerslatte · 1 year ago

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Incompatible | Part One

Eris Vanserra x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: none

Summary: Y/N Archeron was a human living in the land of the fae. For her own protection, the Inner Circle keeps her in Velaris, safe and protected. One day, Azriel invites her to a meeting after seeing her close into herself more and more. There she meets the one who flips her whole life upside down.

A/N: This is a request from @talesofadragon , thank you so much for sending it in, it definitely helped with my writers block :) also this will have a second part and possibly a third so keep an eye on for those soon!

A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist

•••

Y/N Archeron remembered the day she returned to the house her two younger sisters lived in and found it completely destroyed. It had only been three months since she had last visited as making the journey across the human lands was a tiring one that Y/N did not make very often. Far from the village her sisters lived in, Y/N lived mostly alone with a large stretch of farmlands and woodlands. The closest neighbour to her was nearly a mile down the road. But Y/N liked that, she liked the peace living on the farm brought her.

After she moved when she was freshly eighteen, Y/N sent most of her earnings to her family and lived off of the bare minimum. But she was happy, probably happier than she had been in a while.

Now years on from that, at twenty-eight, Y/N continued to sit at the table in the town house and watched the world go by. She tried to concentrate on her book or anything else but she couldn’t, her mind was elsewhere. It always was this past year. Occasionally someone would walk by but Y/N made no effort to make conversation. All she wanted to do was leave the damned house.

Y/N was only a human living in the land of the fae. When she first arrived, she was happy. She was back with her sisters and she was in a new place to explore. At first, Rhys allowed her to walk the streets of Velaris, browsing the shops and market stalls. Soon that transitioned to her needing an escort wherever she went and very soon after that, it turned into Y/N being locked up in whatever house everyone decided that week. Today was the town house. She knew that her family were only looking out for her and only wanted to protect her. After all, Y/N was not immortal. She was not fae. She could bruise easily, was far weaker than anyone else around her.

Y/N sighed yet again and threw the book in her hands to the floor. She didn’t understand why she was here anymore. Y/N knew that she was of no use to anyone around her, she felt more like an inconvenience if anything. They should have just taken her back to her own damned farm.

“Hey,” Azriel said, approaching the eldest Archeron. “I came to check on you.”

“Of your own free will or because you were forced to?” Y/N snapped back. She instantly felt guilty. Since she was brought to Velaris, Azriel had been nothing but kind to her. They all had but he was the only one who had gone out of his way to talk with her everyday. Her sisters had stopped doing that when they had either begun their own families or had gone travelling.

“My own free will if you really want to know,” Azriel said and sat down in the chair next to hers. He glanced down at the book on the floor. “Did the book really deserve that?”

“It probably deserved a lot more than that,” Y/N said, bringing her legs up onto the chair. She looked back out of the window.

Azriel sighed. “Y/N, look, I know that you don’t want to be here–”

“What gave you that impression?” Y/N interrupted.

Azriel simply ignored her. “But you are safe here.”

“I could have been safe at my farm,” Y/N said. “There was no need to bring me here. Feyre and Nesta are both busy with their families to sit with me anymore. Elain is busy travelling the continent with Lucien. I don’t have any friends here–”

“I am your friend, Y/N,” Azriel interrupted her. “And all we are trying to do is protect you. The whole of Prythian knows that there is another Archeron sister and they all know that you are human. If anyone were to get to you, it would put you as well as your sisters in danger. Because you know that they would do anything to get you back safe.”

Y/N sighed. “I know but this is not a life, Azriel. All I do is sit indoors and waste away. I am not even allowed to go outside anymore. Whenever there is a meeting happening, I am sent away to the furthest possible room. I feel like a prisoner, Azriel. You may not see it, but it is how I feel.”

Azriel sighed and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Y/N said.

“To a meeting,” Azriel answers.

Y/N huffed and turned back to the window. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. “Have fun.”

Y/N expected to hear Azriel’s retreating footsteps but she didn’t. Slowly she turned her head and found him standing there, his hand outstretched.

“What?” Y/N asked.

“Are you coming or not?” Azriel asked.

Hope lit up Y/N’s heart. “You’re serious?”

“Deadly,” Azriel said.

Y/N stood up and threw her arms around the shadowsinger, nearly knocking him off balance. “What will the others say?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Azriel said. “If they say anything, let me deal with it.”

“Thank you!” Y/N exclaimed, pulling back from Azriel.

Azriel chuckled. “Don’t thank me yet. You are going to hate it once you realise how boring these meetings are.”

“I don’t care,” Y/N said as Azriel began to lead her to the meeting hall. “As long as I can actually be involved in something, I’ll find entertainment in anything.”

As soon as Azriel opened the door to the meeting hall, all eyes were on her. Y/N didn’t shrink away, she lifted her chin and looked around proudly. There weren’t many in the room at all, in fact there was only one new face amongst everyone else. Y/N studied him and, upon inspection, decided that he was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. His copper hair sat neatly on top of his head, a singular strand falling across his forehead. His fashion sense was immaculate and Y/N wanted to study the embroidery on his jacket up close.

As Y/N moved her gaze back to the man’s face, she found him looking at her, a smirk pulling at his lips. Y/N gave him a small smile.

A chair scraped across the floor, drawing Y/N’s attention away.

“Azriel, what is she doing here?” Rhys asked, his voice low and deadly as he spoke to Azriel.

“I thought she could sit in on a meeting,” Azriel shrugged, pulling out a chair for Y/N. One directly across from the handsome man. “You and everyone else made Y/N read books on fae politics, so I thought she could see a political meeting in person.”

Rhys tried to remain calm but Y/N could easily see the anger and tension slipping through the cracks.

Cassian was the next to speak up. “Az is right Rhys. Y/N must learn about all of this at some point. And there’s nothing like the present.”

Rhys’s gaze hardened on Cassian before he turned back to face Y/N. He offered her a small, barely there smile. “Very well.”

The stares of her two sisters burned into Y/N as she looked down at the table. Y/N hadn’t seen Feyre and Nesta in at least three weeks, but Y/N had to admit that by fae standards, three weeks was not a long time. But to Y/N it was, especially when there was barely anything she could do to pass the time.

The chair next to Y/N scraped across the floor and Azriel sat down next to her. Y/N turned her head to look at him.

Thank you, she mouthed.

Azriel gave her a small nod before he turned his attention to Rhys as he began to speak up. Y/N had to admit to herself that she did not find any of what Rhys was saying particularly interesting, but she still felt glad to finally be included in something.

The meeting felt like it had drawled on forever and Y/N had learnt to block everyone out. Though, if Y/N had to admit to herself, whenever the man with copper hair spoke, she found herself tuning into the conversation just to hear his voice. Not only was he the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on, his voice was the most beautiful she had ever heard. Y/N wasn’t sure if one could fall in love with the sound of someone’s voice but she already had.

Y/N shuffled in her chair and finally looked up from where she was looking at the small crack in the table. Her back ached from her lack of movement and the uncomfortable seat she had found herself in. The sun outside had begun to go down, casting the room in a faint orange glow. The expression on Y/N’s face saddened as she looked at the sunset. All she wanted to do was go outside and bask in the sun on her own. She wanted her own place to live without the constant feeling of being babysat. All Y/N wanted was her own life back.

Cassian cleared his throat and it interrupted Y/N from her own thoughts. As she zoned back in, she made eye contact with the handsome man again. He was looking directly at her, a gleam in his eyes that seemed like…concern. Y/N didn’t avert her gaze. Something within her made her not want to look away. She was swimming in his eyes and she would happily drown if she had no other choice.

The corner of the man’s mouth twitched and Y/N couldn’t help but mimic that movement, fighting the urge to smile. Nothing had made her smile properly in a while but just simply from looking at this man, she wanted to smile, share that experience with him. Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line and averted her gaze, only for a quick second. As her eyes met the man’s once more, a small smile pulled at his lips.

“Eris,” Rhys interrupted and the man reluctantly looked away from Y/N.

“What?” The man, now known to Y/N as Eris, said sharply. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Rhys’s gaze flicked between Eris and Y/N and his gaze darkened the smallest amount. “I asked you if there was anything else you wished to discuss.”

Eris leaned back in his chair. “Actually there is one thing. I would like to know the name of the beautiful woman I have not been introduced to yet.”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “Her name is–”

Eris held up his hand, cutting Rhys off. “Ah, I did not ask you for her name.” Eris turned his attention to Y/N. “I would like her to introduce herself.”

Y/N briefly glanced at her sisters. Their expressions did not give away much but for some reason Y/N had a feeling that neither of them wanted her to introduce herself. It only made Y/N want to do it more.

Y/N plastered a bright smile on her face as she faced Eris once more. “I’m Y/N Archeron.”

“Y/N,” Eris repeated, her name sounding like poetry on his tongue. “A beautiful name to match such a woman.”

Y/N’s smile only brightened.

“Now all introductions are over, I will see you out, Eris,” Rhys said.

“I can see myself out Rhysand,” Eris replied, standing from his chair. “Although I would not complain if the beautiful Y/N walked me out.”

Y/N felt Eris’s eyes bore into hers and she couldn’t help the heat that rose to her cheeks.

“I–” Y/N began to speak but she was cut off by Rhys.

“She will not escort you out, Eris,” Rhys said.

“I’m sure Y/N can speak for herself, Rhysand,” Eris said, his eyes not leaving Y/N’s.

Reluctantly, Y/N shifted her gaze from Eris to Rhys. The High Lord’s violet eyes hardened and Y/N knew exactly what that look meant. It was a warning. Y/N then looked at her two sisters. Feyre did not seem to mind as she slightly nodded at Y/N. Nesta only looked at Rhys’s annoyed expression in amusement. Y/N looked at Cassian and Azriel. While they didn’t say anything, the protective look in their eyes said enough. Though as her gaze met Azriel’s he shrugged. Do what you want, his look seemed to say. It doesn’t mean that I need to like it.

Y/N turned back to face Eris. “I’ll escort you out.”

Instead of a smirk, Eris plastered a pleasant smile upon his handsome face. Y/N pushed back her chair, it scraped loudly against the floor. She could feel the eyes of everyone on her yet she was only focused on one. As she walked around the table to meet Eris, he offered her his arm. Y/N took it gracefully, feeling the hard muscle beneath his jacket.

As soon as they were outside of the meeting room, Y/N let out a long breath. She looked at Eris to find him already looking at her.

“I can feel how suffocated you are,” Eris said, his eyebrow knitting together in concern. “I know the feeling all too well myself.”

Y/N sighed. “This is honestly the first time I have ever been allowed to do anything on my own in a long time.”

“I cannot imagine how that must feel,” Eris said. “If I were in your shoes, I would simply run for the hills.”

Y/N’s lips twitched. “Don’t you think I’ve thought of doing that?”

“I don’t see why you don’t,” Eris said, as they finally stepped outside. Y/N lingered in the threshold of the doors. Eris’s concern seemed to heighten. “How long has it been since you have been outside?”

“Well only a few days since I moved from the House of Wind to here,” Y/N said. “But actually being outside and feeling the sun on my skin, quite a while.”

Eris scoffed. “Moved around? You are not a piece of furniture.You are a human being.”

“Exactly,” Y/N replied. “A human being. I am not fae. I am not safe if I am to live and walk around in daylight.”

“That is no way to live,” Eris said.

“It is the way I have been living for nearly four years now,” Y/N said.

“Well why don’t you and I change that,” Eris said, trailing his hand down Y/N’s arm to intertwine their fingers together. Y/N smiled as she felt his warm palm against hers. “Step out into the sun with me.”

“But it is sunset,” Y/N commented.

“It is said that that is when the sun looks the most beautiful,” Eris replied, nodding his head in the direction of the large hill obscuring their view of the sunset. “We will get a perfect view just up there.”

“I don’t know,” Y/N said, stepping back from Eris, though she didn’t release his hand. She didn’t want to release his hand. The warmth she felt from it was unlike any other.

“Don’t do that,” Eris said softly.

“Do what?” Y/N asked.

“Shrink into yourself,” Eris said, lightly pulling her so she stood close to him. “Come with me. It is only over the hill after all. I can walk you back here safely after.”

Eris’s expression held no ill intent and deep down Y/N already knew that for reasons she couldn’t explain. Y/N nodded her head slowly. A wide smile spread across Eris’s face and Y/N couldn’t help herself but smile back. His smile was infectious.

Together they stepped out of the townhouse and Eris led her further away from the building. Y/N’s eyes lit up as she felt the warm sun on her skin. They stopped at the top of the hill as Y/N’s eyes widened in wonder. It had been a while since she had seen such a beautiful sight.

“I have to admit that this sight is rather beautiful,” Eris commented. “But the sights in Autumn are even better.”

Y/N turned her attention to Eris. “Perhaps I can see them one day?”

Eris smiled. “I would happily take you now if you wanted.”

The smile fell from Y/N’s face. She glanced back towards the townhouse. “I would love that, but…”

Eris glanced at the house. “They won’t let you.”

“It is their way of making sure I am protected, though I just feel trapped all the damn time,” Y/N said. “I hate feeling useless and that my life has no meaning. I rarely see my sisters because they are busy with their own families or travelling. I am not even allowed to train to pass the time, I am considered too delicate apparently, even for the training dummies. I just want to finally leave this court. I want to go back to my farm.”

“Your farm?” Eris asked.

“Before my sisters were turned into fae, I lived on my own farm hundreds of miles away. I sent most of the money I made to my sisters. I lived on the basics but I was happy,” Y/N explained. “I would kill to go back there.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Well everyone inside of that house for starters but by now I am sure it is run down. I didn’t have anyone to help out on the farm, only the occasional person passing through if they were in need of work,” Y/N explained. “I am sure that it is not the cosy home it used to be by now and if I’m being honest, I do not have the motivation to even think about remodelling it.”

“What if you had help?” Eris suggested.

A small smile creeped onto Y/N’s face. “Eris, are you offering to help me?”

“Perhaps I am,” Eris replied, taking a small step closer. “And if I was, Y/N Archeron, what would your answer be?”

“I would say–”

“Y/N!” Rhys called from the townhouse.

Y/N rolled her eyes and turned to look at Rhys. He stood in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. Y/N sighed. “I should get back inside now.”

As Y/N went to take a step back but Eris gently gripped her hand. “I take it that it would be impossible to convince you to come with me.”

“It wouldn’t be impossible to convince me,” Y/N said. “But convincing the Inner Circle to allow me out of sight is near impossible.”

Eris briefly looked at Rhys before looking back at Y/N. “Maybe I can convince them.”

Y/N laughed. “I’d like to see you try.”

“I take that as a challenge,” Eris smirked. “Mark my words, Y/N, that by this time three days from now, I will get you out of that house.”

Y/N linked her fingers through Eris’s. “Well I cannot wait until you do.”

Eris lifted her hand and pressed his lips against her knuckles. “I will look forward to seeing you again, Y/N.”

“Y/N,” Rhys said, interrupting Y/N from responding.

“Rhys,” Y/N greeted.

Rhys turned to Eris. “I see that my sister-in-law has escorted you out, maybe it is time for you to take your leave, Eris.”

“I was just leaving,” Eris replied, a gleam in his eye. “I have a very important letter to write tonight.”

Eris slipped his hand away from Y/N’s but Y/N found herself wanting to take his once more. The immediate coolness that wrapped around her hand was far from pleasant and she missed the warmth Eris provided.

“I will see you very soon, Y/N,” Eris said, that gleam still shining brightly in his eyes. He turned on his heel and walked away without turning back. The light shone on his copper hair and Y/N wanted nothing more than to follow him.

Rhys offered his arm to Y/N. “Let’s get back inside.”

“Before someone sees?” Y/N replied sharply. She walked ahead of Rhys the short distance to the town house. Though she felt a fluttering in her stomach and waited in anticipation to see if Eris’s words would come true.

#acotar #acotar x reader #a court of thorns and roses #eris vanserra #eris vanserra x reader #eris x reader #eris acotar

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daycourtofficial · 2 years ago

Note

Hello. If you don't mind can I request a fic with cassian with a shy reader where she and Cassian have been trying to get pregnant for years, but reader starts doubting herself when seeing the rest of the inner circle females like feyre and elain getting pregnant, and thinking cassian will leave her because it is taking them ages to get pregnant...but Cassian reassures her and all...and weeks later reader finds out she is pregnant and surprises cassian with the news...

Ask and you shall receive! This is actually super super cute so thank you for this request!

A Teeny, Tiny Illyrian Warrior

Summary: after years of trying, you break down crying to Cassian over your inability to conceive, only to find out several months later that you are expecting

It was irrational. You should be happy for Elain, sweet Elain who you considered a great friend. Elain, who after several years of healing, figured out what she wanted, and moved to live with Lucien to help rebuild the spring court, just announced she was pregnant.

Making her the third Archeron to be pregnant, with Nesta and Eris having a baby a few years prior.

It was exhausting. Everyone around you was churning out babies, except for you and Cassian. You’ve both wanted kids for so long, but when Rhys was trapped under the mountain, the two of you decided to pause your dreams to help run and maintain Velaris in his absence. The fear of a child growing up in Amarantha’s reign was terrifying enough to keep the dreams at bay.

The tonic you took every day to keep you from getting pregnant had felt like sewage down your throat.

When Rhys had returned, you were so excited not just for your brother in law’s return, but for what it meant for you and Cassian. You could try. And try you did. You let Amarantha stop you from conceiving, but the war with Hybern would do no such thing.

So the two of you spent the first few years excited, constantly tearing at each other’s clothes. Until your cycles would come. And come. And come, each one a reminder of what isn’t to come.

Then Feyre got pregnant, and you were ecstatic, over the moon. Then Nesta got pregnant a few years later. You were still happy, but the jealousy was clawing your throat. Now Elain’s pregnant, and it is taking every ounce of strength not to ask why her.

The past year sex has almost felt more like a chore than pleasure, your empty womb keeping both of you wanting more.

You plaster on a smile, congratulate the two of them, and after dinner you go and slink away into the bathroom, hide your head in your hands, and sob.

Sob because it should be you announcing your pregnancy. Sob because everyone should be happy for you. Sob because what if Cassian decides you’re not enough?

He sees all these females getting pregnant - what if he decides you’re the problem? He could find loads of females willing to fill that role. Does he wonder how quickly he could impregnate them?

Your sobs are so out of control that you don’t hear the door open and close and a body sits next to you.

“Here,” he says, handing you a handkerchief. You pull your hands away to find Azriel, your other brother in law.

You and Azriel were incredibly close - both of you perfect foils to Cassian’s loud, swaggering personality. The two of you were more quiet and observant, Cass being enough personality for the three of you.

You accept the handkerchief, wiping your eyes and blowing your nose, creating the ugliest noise imaginable.

Azriel stretches out his long legs, resting his back against the cabinet. “I know it’s hard,” he says, reaching out to rub your back, “but it will be okay.”

You lean into him, and choke out, “what if he decides I’m not enough? That he could easily find someone who is able to get pregnant?”

Azriel’s hand halts its soothing strokes for a brief moment before continuing. “If you think for one moment he would ever be separated from you by his own choice, think again.”

You go to respond but he cuts you off, “Cassian would cut off his own hand before willingly letting go of yours.”

You two sit there, his words echoing through your mind, when he starts again.

“For what it’s worth,” he says, standing up, “if your child has his eyes and your smile, it’ll blow all the other babies out of the water with its cuteness.”

You smile, accepting the hand he reaches out for you, “I always knew you had a soft spot for Cass’s eyes.”

He laughs, tucking your hand into his elbow to lead you out, “they’re just so pitiful. He pouts and he looks like a kicked puppy.”

You laugh, allowing him to escort you back to the dining room, back to your family.

Later that night, as you and Cassian are taking a bath, you decide to broach the subject that’s been bouncing around your head since Azriel found you in the bathroom.

“What if we stop trying?”

Cassian’s hand reaches up from behind you to cup your face, tilting your chin back so you can look at him, “Stop trying what?”

“Stop trying for a baby.”

His grin is gone immediately, about to ask if you’ve changed your mind, and you spin in his laps to meet his eyes.

You grab his chin and tell him, “I don’t mean like we give up. I mean we stop trying. Sex has felt like a chore for a while, and I miss it being fun. Now it’s just a means to an end.

“I want fun sex, I want dirty sex, I want it all. But I want to stop our ‘only doing this to have a baby’ sex. I won’t take the tonic, but I’m tired of the heartbreak. If it happens, it happens.”

He looks at you, your wet hair making you look even more like a goddess to him, as he cups your chin and asks, “are you sure, love?”

You smile, “yes. Maybe we can go back to trying in a bit, but I want a break. I don’t like the feelings it’s causing, like I broke down in tears earlier that you would leave me for a more breedable woman.”

Cassian snorts, “did you actually call them breedable women?”

You smack his arm, “poor Azriel found me a blubbering mess. I’m pretty sure he should just burn the handkerchief he gave me because all of the snot and tears made it gain five pounds.”

He chuckles, but then he looks at you, conveying every emotion he feels for you, and you know you were a fool for ever thinking he’d consider leaving you.

“Sweetheart, I would never leave you for such a thing. I want a baby, yes, but I want you more, and I would be perfectly content spending the next thousand years with only you by my side.”

Your legs bracket around his thighs, and you rub your fingers up his arms as you tell him, “I can think of a few ways we could spend those thousand years.”

He throws his head back laughing, and crashes his lips to yours.

It had been six months since Elain’s announcement, and the babe was here. Feyre and Rhys traveled to spring to go visit, leaving you, Cassian, and Azriel alone.

Cassian was out shopping for Solstice gifts, an activity you were going to join him for until you woke up not feeling well. After much convincing and promising him if you need anything you’ll get Az to get it for you, he went ahead without you, needing to pick up gifts before shops closed.

After spending the first hour of his departure in the bathroom throwing up what felt like all of your internal organs, you wandered out into the hallway in search of your husband’s brother.

After a fifteen minute search, you found him in the library reading what appears to be a romance novel that Nesta left behind.

“Doing some studying?” You ask, peering over his shoulder at the particularly raunchy scene he was reading.

He jumps, having had no idea of your intrusion. He clears his throat, asking, “weren’t you supposed to go shopping today?”

You walk around the couch, sitting next to him and looking at the cover of the book he was reading.

“I was, but felt ill so I stayed behind and convinced Cassian to go without me.”

He snorts, “bad idea. You reign him in a lot when it comes to gift giving, otherwise he forgets how much he’s already bought for someone and just buys more.”

You were about to agree, your husband’s joy at buying gifts knowing no bounds, when his brother stills, slowly sniffing the air and turning towards you and asking, almost accusatorially, “are you pregnant?”

You look at him, half tempted to yell at him over his inclusion of the sore subject. You felt freer these past few months, less bogged down by the negative emotions your inability to conceive was creating.

Azriel had seen it all with you, acting as a source of comfort during all the uncertainty the past sixty years have shown.

His asking that question and your earlier illness is what led the two of you to see Madja very quickly, who confirmed the pregnancy.

“How am I going to tell him?” You ask Azriel, as you two walk around the Sidra. You already felt guilty that Azriel had been the one with you when you found out and not Cassian, however that guilt subsided when you realized if you weren’t pregnant the disappointment on Cassian’s face would have ruined you.

“Well anytime anyone ever asks Cass for advice, he always steers them towards nudity.”

You laugh at how true the starement was. Feyre asking Cassian advice on a gift for Rhys? Nudity. Rhys asking for advice on a gift for Azriel? Nudity. He was a simple man, he’d tell them in response.

You pass by a baby shop and find your eyes drawn to it, your feet pulling you back in front of the door. Azriel follows your line of sight, sweeping his arm in front of you motioning ‘after you’.

The two of you walk around, looking through baby clothes when a sales associate comes and speaks to you. “Ah are you two expecting?” she chirps, looking pleasantly between the two of you.

You laugh while Azriel blushes and reply, “he’s my husband’s brother.”

The sales associate gapes, her jaw going slack. “Oh um okay, well it’s none of my business-“

Before she can finish rambling, Azriel cuts her off. “I’m helping her pick something out to tell my brother he’s going to be a dad to a child that is not mine.”

She looks between you two and laughs at the mistake. “Did you have anything in mind?”

You tell her that you actually had an idea.

When Cassian got home, he was tired from lugging around at least two dozen shopping bags. He was exhausted, but incredibly proud of himself because he’s fairly certain he was able to get gifts for everyone, meaning most, if not all, the shopping was done.

The house was quiet, so he took the opportunity to hide the ruby red necklace and earrings he got for you in this old dried fruit container he kept on a top shelf, a place you’d never search for, much less be able to see.

After the gift was tucked away, he began walking through the house trying to find you, deciding you’d likely be in your shared bedroom. Making his way there he stopped in the hallway, finding a tiny little baby sock on the floor.

He looks around, not finding anything else strange he picks it up and continues his search. Passing through the kitchen he found another baby sock, in the dining room he found a little tiny hat, in another hallway he found a little tiny pair of pants that look just like his fighting leathers.

There must be a naked baby running around here somewhere, he thinks.

Right outside the door to your shared room is a little shirt that also looks just like his fighting leathers, with teeny tiny slats in the back for wings.

He grabs the door knob, twisting to enter the room as he begins asking, “is there a naked tiny Illyrian war-“

He stops dead in his tracks at the oh so subtle smell in the room, coating the room in florals he never thought he’d smell from you. He looks up from the shirt, finding you sitting on your bed with tears in your eyes.

“It’s me, I have a teeny tiny Illyrian warrior so I bought them teeny tiny Illyrian fighting leathers for all the teeny tiny threats they’ll have to fight.”

Your husband takes off running towards you, kissing you like his life depended on it. Then he picked you up off the ground, spun you around, and ran out of your bedroom with you. He’s running through the whole house shouting, “she’s having my baby!” Repeating it over and over, until he almost collides with Azriel. Before Azriel can say anything, Cassian picks him up too, spinning the both of you. All three of you laugh at the pure joy radiating off of Cassian after so many years of wanting.

#acotar writing #cassian x reader #cassian x you #cassian fluff #request

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scorpioriesling · 6 months ago

Text

What Happens on NYE…

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Lucien, Eris, Tamlin x Reader

Warning(s): none

Summary: Each of the ACOTAR males paired with reader of you were to attend a NYE celebration with any of them. <3

SR’s Note: So… HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!! I’ve been so busy & then getting back into the swing of things — not to mention, becoming really sick as 2024 wraps up. (‘: Not to worry! I have the best friends, family, and hubby that have been taking the most care of me. I know I’ve been lacking, especially with the Invisible String series — so allow me to feed y’all tonight, at least a little bit!

Tags: @mellowmusings @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @velarisdusk (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Rhysand

“Sweetheart, what’s got you so… preoccupied?”

You sigh, turning your attention away from the drink you’d been studying to meet your husband’s gaze.

“I just… I’m just so… I don’t know, dear. Preoccupied, like you said.” You chew on your lip, the cranberry juice in your glass doing little to calm your nerves. Around you, Rhysand’s closest friends and family flit about, singing and dancing and drunkenly laughing with one another. Usually, you’d be right there with them — it’s felt like ages since you’d had a stiff drink last.

“Darling,” he coos, his hand sliding against yours as he takes your glass from you. “Whatever is there to worry for?”

Just then, a large crash sounds from the room adjacent — and your husband pulls you close to his chest out of instinct. When you lock eyes again, he chuckles.

“Why don’t we—“ he sets your glass down on the kitchen table. “… go somewhere more, private, hm?” You nod, a small smile forming on your lips as his hand wraps protectively around yours waist. He runs his fingers up and down your spine, his next words holding a smile of their own.

“Ahh, now there’s that beautiful smile I love so much.”

He walks with you to the terrace, quietly opening the doors and stepping outside with you. The cool breeze of the night feels wonderful against your skin, which only grew warmer by the minute.

“A new dress tonight, hm?”

You grab the loose fabric of the skirts, swishing it back and forth. He leans against the railing as the light of the moon reflects off of his silky black hair.

“Yes — do you like it?” He nods, scanning you up and down.

“I love it, dear. I must say, I’ve never seen you in a style like this.” He takes your hand, pulling you close to him once more. The light of the ever rising moon makes the band on his ring finger gleam.

“Well… it is New Year’s eve, after all.” You fake a confident smile. It was true — you usually went for more form-fitting gowns, or ones that at least showed off your assets… but this occasion was, well… different.

“It’s nearly midnight, you know.” Rhys points out, his gaze fixing on the moon above. You nod quietly, preparing for the clock to strike twelve.

“Anything you want to leave behind this year? To not bring into the new year with you?” He asks. You chew your lip again, not sure how to answer. You’d prepared and practiced for weeks, yet now it felt as though no amount of preparation could have helped you for this moment.

Rhys shrugs after a moment. “I, for one, would like to leave any bad vibes behind now,” he pauses, listening and chuckling as Cassian belts out a line from the newest Taylor Swift song inside. You can’t help but laugh too as he says, “… and, maybe Cassians singing.”

The lighthearted moment eases you for only a second, a mere glimpse of time before you must work to steady your mind again. You realize, going into the new year, with the husband you have — this is exactly, the right moment, and nothing would make it more perfect.

“I, have something I’d like to bring with us into the new year, rather.” You say, and Rhys looks out as fireworks burst among the stars, cheering through all of Velaris heard from where the two of you stood. As you gazed upon the side of your gorgeous husbands face, you took a deep breath and just said it.

“Rhys, I’m pregnant.”

He slowly turns to you, his joyous expression morphing into surprise as he gazes into your tear-filled eyes.

“W-what?” You don’t think you’d ever heard the High Lord of the Night Court stutter. “Did you say-“

“I’m pregnant,” you say again, more confidently. His eyes grow larger, his hands taking yours as his lips curl into a wide grin.

“You’re… oh Gods, we’re…” he laughs breathily, almost in disbelief.

“We’re having a baby, Rhys!” You beam, and he instantly swoops you into his arms, spinning you around in the light of the firework streaked sky.

“We’re having a baby!” He shouts joyously, gently setting you down to take your face in his hands and pull you into a deep kiss. When he releases you, he stares down at you in pure joy, his hands cupping your cheeks.

“My darling, you’re going to make such a wonderful mother.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Cassian

You bend in half, laughing so hard your stomach begins to tighten. Eyes squeezed shut, you try to regain your composure — but what your boyfriend said was just so. Damn. Funny.

“Cass… you’re truly a comedian,” Mor giggles from beside you, her hand resting on your shoulder. When you open your eyes again, the first thing you see is your handsome man’s face alight with a smile.

“So I’ve been told,” he chuckles, taking yet another sip of his beer. His gaze settles on you as he slides a hand around your shoulders, pulling you close and kissing you on the head. “That’s how I got this one, yeah?”

Mor laughs again, and you blush as you lean into his strong frame. Strong, but a little wobbly under the influence of all the alcohol he’d consumed tonight.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself,” Mor hiccups. “…to convince yourself worthy of such a gorgeous girl.” She winks, and you reach a swaying arm for her.

“Awwwh, Mor,” you say, as she stumbles a bit before standing upright. “You’re such a good friend!” There was a million better things you could’ve said, but in your intoxicated state, that’s all you could come up with.

“Oh my gosh!” The blonde squeals. “It’s starting!”

Everyone’s attention turns to the widescreen, the DJ cutting the music as the number 10 flashes on the screen.

“Alllllright, Rita’s!” He announces over the mic. “Let’s count down into this new year together tonight, shall we?”

The crowd cheers, beginning the descent from 10 as the numbers flash on the screen. Cassian pulls you closer, and you all but crane your neck to look up at him.

“Six, five, four…”

Cassians hand slides against your jaw, the other holding you to him by the small of your back.

“Three, two…”

“Gods, you are the most beautiful-“

“One, Happy New Year!”

You don’t even let the crowd get to one, or allow your boyfriend to finish that sweet sentiment before you press up into your tip-toes and smush your lips onto his. His grip tightens, almost lifting you off the floor as his mouth drunkenly devours yours. When you finally do pull away, he smiles softly at you as though it were just the two of you in the middle of the dance floor.

“I… truly am,” he whispers. “So, so lucky.”

Then, his mouth is on yours once more.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Azriel

“Dare!”

Feyre takes another long swig from her glass, giggling as she sets it down in front of her.

“I dare you, Nesta,” she giggles. “To take off your bra, right now!” She cackles, as the group expresses their disbelief.

Through the protests and shocked expressions, Feyre groans over-exaggeratedly.

“Oh come on,” she whines. Nesta reaches behind her back, working to unhook the clasps.

“Yeah — it’s nothing you’ve never seen before.” She triumphantly yanks her bra free, removing it and tossing it into Cassians lap without so much as untying her gown. Cassian scoffs, feigning annoyance.

“What am I gonna do with this?” He picks it up, beginning to inspect it. Nesta chuckles, sitting up on her knees as she scans the group.

“Hehehe… my turn.” Her steely gray eyes land on you. “Hm. Y/N,” she says, and you feel your heart jump. You never liked truth or dare much anyway, especially not when your crush was involved.

“Truth? Or dare?” She raises an eyebrow.

You gulp. “Umm. Truth, please.”

She grins wickedly, subtly looking between you and Azriel as she pretends to contemplate a question for you.

“Truth, then. Hmm… alright, I’ve got one.” She leans back on her hands, watching as you fidget with yours.

“If you had to pick anyone in this group to kiss tonight, who would you pick?”

Your face heats, and you glare at her. Practically everyone knew of your interest in Azriel, everyone but himself — admitting that now would only be embarrassing.

“Oh… Gods Nesta, uhh…” The tequila from earlier swirls in your stomach, and for once, Azriel looks as though he’s interested in the game again and not the countdown celebration happening beyond the palace walls.

Your eyes meet hers, and she gives you an encouraging look.

“Go on then… name them.”

You swallow, glancing toward Azriel. Grave mistake, he was already looking at you.

Your cheeks deepen their shade of crimson.

“M-maybe… uh, Azriel.”

Nesta shakes her head slowly, that wicked grin only growing. Soft chanting from outside can be heard, the citizens of Velaris participating in the end of year countdown. They’re already at eight when members of the Inner Circle notice how near it is to midnight.

“Guys — it’s almost midnight!” Cassian says giddily, but Nesta keeps her gaze trained on you.

“Prove it.” She says lowly, and you sigh, taking your abandoned glass and throwing back the rest of what was in it.

In an instant, you’re standing, stumbling toward Azriel — your friend, your trainer. Your true love. If only he saw it that way.

“Five, four,” the friend group has engaged in the chanting as well.

Those deep hazel eyes meet yours, his rough hands reaching to help steady you as your friends brush past you for a look out the windows. He cracks a smile, his gently hands bracing against your forearms. You are close, so close — foreheads practically touching as he leans down to peer directly into your eyes.

Behind him, Nesta rises slowly, seeming rather pleased with herself.

“So,” his voice is low and gravelly. “Are you going to prove it?”

You don’t think twice before pressing your lips against his, every point of contact between the two of you sending a million fireworks through you. His lips move, eager for more — you’re happy to oblige.

Behind you, cheering and clapping and the distant sound of fireworks is all drowned out by the sensations taking over you — Azriel’s lips, his hands holding you to his chest… Gods, he smells so good—

He pulls back, breathing heavily as he grins down at you. You chuckle, unsure if the fluttering within is the bubbles from your earlier champagne or perhaps, butterflies.

“I don’t think,” he whispers. Your eyes widen.

“I don’t think you… proved it, enough. Yet.”

You grin, wrapping your arms around his neck before kissing him again, his hands sliding around your waist. Just before you loose yourself in the moment, you squint to meet Nesta’s pleased gaze.

“You’re welcome,” she mouths silently.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Lucien

The cold winter air bit into your exposed arms, but you didn’t care. The night had been so cold, you were suprised to find your tears hadn’t frozen right on your face — perhaps, the constant flow kept them streaming down your cheeks instead.

You’d heard rumors of Lucien, your absolute best friend being mated to none other than Elain. Sure, she was beautiful, and kind, and quite perfect really — which was exactly the problem. Everything so right about her, only made you that much more insecure.

If you were honest, you understood why the Mother would choose her for him. Your best friend was perfectly imperfect— he was a beautiful male, that you’d known for years, but he was also selfless, kind, and one of the best people you knew. That’s what made him so special; he truly was, the greatest friend you’d ever made.

Perhaps, that’s why the rumors broke your heart so much. No, he hadn’t mentioned it to you — had he known? Surely he couldn’t have known of your feelings, you’d kept them so buried inside… how deeply you’d cared for him. Loved, him.

“Why?” You whispered, glaring at the night sky above. “Why couldn’t you just let him be with me?” Your voice broke, and you whimpered once more. Tonight was pure Hell — watching him, watching her. You couldn’t blame him, she was gorgeous… and for all your friend had gone through, you only wished for him to be truly happy.

You rested your head on your hands, leaning against the marble ledge of the balcony and crying so hard you didn’t hear the terrace door slide open.

“Y/N?”

Your sniffling seized, and you looked up to meet the horrified gaze of your best friend.

You wiped a hand across your face, looking down to not meet his eye.

“Lucien, please-“ you coughed. “Please, enjoy the party. It’s nearly midnight-“

He was to you in three long strides, sitting beside you on the marble bench and resting a gently hand on your shoulder.

“I don’t care what ever else is going on — what’s wrong, Y/N?” His voice carried so much concern, a wave of fresh tears stung your eyes.

“It’s nothing,” you lied. He rolled his eyes, gripping your shoulders and pulling you into his lap. You rested your head against his shoulder, your wet tears dripping onto his collar.

“It’s surely not nothing,” he argued, his hand running soothingly over your back. You swallowed, regaining some control before sniffing and peering up into his face.

“It’s…” you tried, your lower lip wobbling. His hand rested against your cheek, a small encouraging smile on his lips.

“You can always tell me anything,” he encourages. You sigh, looking right up into his beautiful face.

“I… I heard, about Elain. And I’m so sorry, Lucien, I shouldn’t be doing this and behaving this way, because I want you to be happy and-“

“Wait wait. Y/N what are you even saying?” He chuckles, his thumb brushing away a fallen tear. Your eyes well up with more as you feel like this may be the last moment you’ll ever have like this, with the man you love most.

“You’re… I heard, about the bond. You, and Elain.” You sniff.

He tosses his head back, his bright laughter splitting the air between you. You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, watching as he refocuses on you.

“Y/N, come now,” he starts, his hands wrapping around your waist. “If Elain and I were truly mates, don’t you think I’d tell you about it?”

You shrug, glancing down at the stone. “I… I don’t know, I-“

He tuts, tilting your chin to look at him again. Inside, the partygoers begin counting — nearing midnight.

“Oh, Y/N… you really don’t see it, do you?” He shakes his head, gazing down at you. Your bottom lip wobbles as you look to him again.

“I just… I only want you to be happy, Lucien.” He smiles warmly, leaning in as the first firework bursts across the night sky.

“You’re what makes me happy, Y/N.”

He kisses you with so much love and adoration, you hadn’t ever imagined possible. Your fingers thread through his hair as you kiss him back with as much love as you can convey.

All he says when he pulls away is, “I love you, so much, Y/N.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Eris

You sigh as you bring the mug to your lips once more, hoping the caffeinated tea can keep you awake for a little while longer.

“I don’t like this one much,” Eris comments, watching as the girl onstage sings about getting pregnant. You chuckle lazily, setting the mug down and leaning against his shoulder.

“Not a Sabrina fan?” You add playfully, and he moves his arm so you can lay more comfortably against his chest.

“I suppose not,” he says, his arms resting as he lays beneath you on the couch. He yawns, the first telltale sign of his tiredness — you had to admit, it’d been a long day. Between planting new seeds in the orchard (an annual tradition), taking the kids to visit the in-laws and wrangling them into their rooms at the end of the day… yeah. You could say you were quite exhausted.

Eris’ fingers ran along your bare arms nonchalantly as he gazed at the screen, watching Dick Clark chat with Sabrina Carpenter after her NYE performance. Her dress glittered against the city lights, reminding you of the times you and Eris shared celebrating nights like these in the past.

Sighing, you tilted your head to peer up at your mate. The angle of his jaw, so strong — it complimented the angular panes of his face, so strikingly handsome in any light. He must have noticed your stare, as his fingers stilled and he looked down at you with a tired smile.

“What is it, dear?” You sighed, toying with the small bow at the top of your pajama camisole.

After a quiet beat, you replied. “I just… I’m sorry, you know.” His brow raised, his chin tilting so he could look at you more directly. “We don’t… celebrate. Like we used to.”

He chuckles, the movement shifting you as you pressed against his chest.

“Well, my dear… we do have children, you know.” You half-smiled.

“Yes, I am aware — I’m just missing the days we went out, I guess. Me in a glittering gown, just for you, and all that.” You chewed the inside of your cheek. Your husband’s hand began lightly brushing your arm once more, his expression sympathetic.

“I understand, but, there’s nothing to apologize for my love.” You looked up at him, and he gave you a small smile. “I’m grateful we had those times, yes — but I’m even more grateful now. Nights like these are wonderful; they’re everything I want and need. I’m grateful for our children, tiresome as they may be.” You share a giggle, and his hands move to thread through your hair. “But, this, right here, laying on this couch with you on New Year’s eve… I couldn’t possibly want anything else.”

You close your eyes, snuggling closer to him as he continued playing with your hair. You began to drift off, resting peacefully knowing you were going into the new year with the one person who loved you most.

Eris only moved to reach for the remote, turning down the volume as the crowd on the screen began chanting. You stirred, but he could tell you were fast asleep — gazing down at your beautiful face, his heart swelled.

He leaned down as the crowd roared, pressing a small kiss to your temple.

“Happy New Year, my love.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Tamlin

“So, are you gonna go talk to him, or what?”

You’d been eyeing the blonde all night, trying (and failing) to keep your staring to a minimum. Naturally, your friend caught on — likely when she noticed the sudden changes in demeanor as he entered the room you were in.

“W-who?” You feigned innocence. She rolled her eyes, jerking her chin to the brooding blonde by the mini bar.

“You know who,” she chuckled. “Mystery man?”

Now it was time for you to roll your eyes. “That’s what we’re calling him?”

She smirks. “Well, you haven’t gone and asked his name yet, so yeah. That’s all I’ve got for now.”

You sigh, sipping on the last few ounces of your drink.

“Come on,” she eggs on. “Go over and at least say hi?” She nudges your shoulder. You tip back your glass, swallowing the rest of what was in it. Only when you step forward does she applaud you.

“Shh!” You glare over your shoulder, but your friend only watches with amusement as you nervously make your way toward the bar.

Once you’re within arms reach, you take a deep breath, your gaze meeting the emerald green one you’d been eyeing all evening.

“Uh… h-hi.” You stammer. He raises an eyebrow, looking you up and down before opening his mouth.

“Hi.”

Your lips press into a flat line.

“Uh… what’s your name?” You ask. The butterflies in your stomach threaten to come up your throat, and you swallow hard.

“…Tamlin.”

Your eyebrows raise.

“Like, from the Spring Court?” You squeak. He huffs a laugh.

“Like, yeah.”

Your brows furrow, cheeks heating at his lack of communication skills. You fidget with your fingers, not entirely sure what to say next.

“Is there something I can-“

“Why are you here?” You cut him off. Now he raises his eyebrows, and your mouth opens and closes like a fish.

“No, no uh I didn’t mean it like that, I just mean, uhm. Why come to a, uh, party in Autumn if you’re from Spring?” You stutter.

He tips back his glass, setting it on the counter before him before turning to fully face you.

“Friend brought me.” He glances to the room next to you, where Lucien is talking to a group and laughing.

You shrug. “Me too.”

He looks at you near expressionless, leaving you so defeated that you turn to walk away. His hand catches your wrist, and your breath hitches as you whirl around to face him again.

He stares silently for a moment, before pulling you closer to him.

“You’re not here with a… a male?” He asks. You shake your head slowly, and he smirks.

“A shame. For everyone else, but hopefully not me.” Your cheeks darken as you watch his eyes rove over your face, down your neck, over the edge of your top…

“I didn’t come with one,” you choke out. “But, I’m not opposed to leaving with one.” You can’t believe you just said that out loud. He apparently finds it amusing, chuckling as he glances to the clock.

“You’re not above kissing a stranger you just met at a party where you know no one?” He asks, his palms resting on your hips as you stand between his parted knees. You hadn’t noticed how close the clock hand had gotten toward 12, quite literally so distracted by the man in front of you now.

“Are you?” You retort. He smiles, his right hand resting against your jaw.

“Absolutely not.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

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shadowgast-recs-weekly · 2 months ago

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Older Favourites 10: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we have the tenth edition of older favourites! Check under the cut for eight fics that are more than two years old, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!

components: v, s, m by renquise (2781, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb is a fast learner and takes to dunamancy very well, surprising Essek.

Reccer says: Just an interesting early campaign perspective of Shadowgast and their dynamic - not quite trusting one another yet but clearly very interested in each other.

Two Halves of a Coin by DotyTakeThisDown (7427, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Domestic Abuse, (Some discussions of physical and mental abuse from Trent Ikithon.)

A soulmate mark AU from Caleb's POV.

Reccer says: There's less emphasis on the 'soulmate' aspect, with Caleb's soul mark having been erased during his student years and Essek being a very private person in general. (And Caleb more interested in just getting to know Essek and love him anyway, regardless of what their soul marks might be.)

A Favor Accepted by Samjoinedthereconcorps (211727, General) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Shadowgast Canon Divergent fanfiction that picks up right after the Essek reveal. Essek gets to go with them to Rumblecusp to have, as Jester puts it, "a beach vacation" with Caleb and the Mighty Nein.

Reccer says: The author has done a phenomenal job with their characterizations of everyone, and has reimagined Rumblecusp as a more detailed and longer running event, which has allowed for great character beats and conversations that I've loved. The pining and love between Essek and Caleb is almost painful to read but it makes it all the more delicious as they keep getting closer to each other.

The Fullness of Time by Cers (162788, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

In the fight against Lucien, Essek accidentally sends himself and Caleb back in time. Now they must find a way to get back to their friends without completely destroying the fabric of reality or themselves.

Reccer says: Clever plot with sucker punches of emotion

Where Hope Blooms and Love Grows by EmiAliceInWonderland (4036, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death

Caleb and Jester had died. A short glimpse of the downtime between C2E140 and 141.

Reccer says: It's the fluffiest sort of angst: everyone is safe, everyone is okay, but now you have to process that they weren't. Cathartic~

A Wizard's Spellbook by dhwty_writes (1321, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes, Light Lifespan Angst

(First Person, Outsider POV) Professor Widogast, his wizard's spellbook, and the many lessons he learned from his friends.

Reccer says: It's just so well written!! It makes me tear up and so so happy, I love it so much 🥹 I remember first reading it many years ago and thinking, "Yeah, this is canon to me." - Still think so today XD

Time yields to no one (except for you and me) by Chiakery (85238, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek's a god but not really, and Caleb worships him but not really (more like goes from trying to manipulate to falling for him)

Reccer says: I liked it!

Paper, Ink by aeli_kindara (14589, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb shares his past with Essek, wanting Essek to know him completely.

Reccer says: One of the most beautiful works I've ever read with my eyeballs. Shadowgast entry-level required reading. Impossibly good.

This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation.

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring getting together! Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #critical role #cr fic recs #fan fiction rec list #critical role fan fiction #cr fic #cr fics #older favourites #older favorites

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gamarancianne · 1 year ago

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Azriel x reader - In Between part 2

Part 1

Summary: trying to regain your confidence after your broken heart, you met someone in the same position as you and developped one of the best friendships you had ever had. A genuine and sincere friendship. But this person may be closer by other ways to you than you thought.

Warnings: still angst, alcohol in a not healthy way, heartbreak again, hypocrite Elain (kinda slander ig), Lucien being the best.

Note: well maybe a part 3 ig 😅, I was really inspired tbh. Thank you all for having loved the part 1 and shared it with me ! Ily 💗💗 and don't hesitate to ask me something or chat with me in my inbox or dm, or in the comments !

You had been a crying mess for two weeks now, sometimes you went out in a bar to drink so much you would forget even your name. That was the point, forget the constant sting in your heart and you head. Forget him, his beautiful Hazel eyes and inked tattoos on his broad and golden chest. And here we go again: the tears flooded themselves on your face. It was a day to drink today, or tonight, you didn't really have a time notion for the past two weeks: waking up at dawn or dusk, eating, crying and sleeping. You had to forget about all those beautiful things about him, you had to empty your brain and heart. You didn't want to feel something again.

As you were walking to the nearest bar, you thought about those letters elain had sent you, saying you were her dearest friend and asking if your confession went well. You knew she knew that it was you in her apartment that cursed day, but she still pretended and even was saying the complete opposite of what she had said to azriel, falsely comforting you. Was she ever was your friend at this point ? Or has she always criticised and stabbed you behind you back ? Anyway you had decided that it was way better for you to ignore her and keep living your life, if you could still call what you were living a life, without her.

You didn't even noticed when you had arrived in front the door of the bar, but you did and entered, going directly to your now favorite spit in front of the barman : the alcohol was there easier to get. You didn't see then, the redhead man who was at the exact place you had been the few days prior. How dare he steal your chair like that ? Approaching slowly you stilled and you understood that this man was surely in the same situation as you, a heartbreak, seeing his bent frame and the many empty glasses in front of him. They could only have been his because no one was seated near him, and everyone was judging him. They were all avoiding the poor man whose name you didn't know.

"I was almost mad at you for stealing my favourite seat" you stated, seating next to him as his head shot to your side wondering if you were really talking to him.

"Yes I'm talking to you"

"Ah, I'm sorry for your seat do you want it back ?" He asked, genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks flushed.

"No I'm fine here, I can speak with you ...?" You asked ?

"Lucien".

"I'm yn, and as I was saying, I can speak with you here Lucien" he nodded.

"Nice to meet you yn, but you don't wanna talk to me, don't you see all the glares everyone sends me here ?" He drank in a one shot what seemed to be whisky and stared again at his now empty glass.

"Oh gods you men !" He looked at you confused "I know what I'm doing fuck ! I'm a grown up woman and I can make my own choices ! You re the second on in two weeks who tells me what I want or not." You snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry, then stay if you want." He apologized quickly.

You asked shots to the barman and stayed silent a bit nefore you both asked in one voice "what are you here for ?". You two chuckled a bit before you said "you first".

"Well I've kinda learnt that my mate, who knows that she is my mate is dating someone else. And I feel like I'm not allowed to have just once an ounce of happiness." You were hurt for him as you heard his story that he told you with a careless demeanor. He must really be at his lowest.

"Ouch that hurts, I'm sorry man. She's a fool if you want my opinion." He smiled sadly at your answer and pointed you from his chin asking you silently your story.

"Well im heartbroken as well, my best friend encouraged me confessing to the man I love, but he rejected me, and not in a nice way. But as lucky as I am, I learnt that he is dating my best friend who is a back stabber." I emptied my glass in one drink.

"Ouch that hurts too, I'm sorry." He said echoing my words.

We spent the night drinking, and drowning ourselves in alcohol but in a more joyful way than usually.

I then went more and more at the bar to see him, but we drank less and less, leaving place to real conversations between us. It became quickly a routine, and Lucien became one of my best friends, well my only friend of the time actually. And I was one of his only friend as well. Two broken hearts healing parts of eachothzr then didn't even break. Lucien had explained to me his family problem, and how his former male best friend was a toxic man in relationships, how he had been poorly treated in his biological family, and how his actual best friend was his mate's sister so he didn't know how to approach her anymore. He came a lot in my appartment to spend time with me, he even slept in sometimes, because he couldn't face his current family. He practically had his room in your home, some of his stuff never really left.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After 2 knocks on your door you unwillingly got off your couch and opened it letting a wild and out of breath Lucien appear in front of it.

"Lu ? Are you okay ?" That was his new nickname, he loved it, because he felt like he was loved for once in his life.

"Yes.. no ? I need you to come with me like right now ! "

"Oh okay let me get me keys and I'm coming" you trusted Lucien too much to ever doubt about him, if he needed you then you were there for him.

You left your apartment and went to the direction he indicated. After a while you panicked a little, seeing that you were going to the high lord's house.

"Lucien you know I love you but where are we going?"

"To a family dinner, I can't go alone. See, my mate's relationship got complicated and she always complains to me when I'm alone, which is all the time. So I feel like I'm just a plan b and I'm really uncomfortable when she does it. Don't worry I've told them that someone was going with me."

"I understand Lu, but at the high lord's ?" You asked sceptical.

"Well yes, because my best friend I told you about is Feyre."

"What ?" Lucien, had never told the names of his family members, and you neither, so discovering that his friend was you high lady so that you were going to see Azriel made you weak to the bones.

"Lucien ? Your mate is Elain ??"

"What, yes ? How do you know ??" He exclaimed as he stopped on his tracks.

"She is the fake friend I told you about !" You answered on the same tone.

"So it means that.."

"I am in love with Azriel... yes."

"Oh gods" you both sighed.

"Hum yn ?" He asked unsure of what to say.

"Mmh"

"Have I told you that Cassian and him were the ones to get us to the house?"

"No, no, no. Please no ! But what would we even need to be picked up ?"

"We can't winnow so it's either that or climb 10 000 stairs".

Both fearing the fast approaching dinner, the last part of the walk was silent and the air heavy with tension. You held your breath when you saw two winged big figures, Cassian and Azriel. The first one shot his head in your direction and smiled confused.

"Yn ?" Azriel stiffened as he heard your name. "What does owe us the pleasure to see you ?"

"I'm the one to go with Lu today but I didn't know it was with you...". Azriel froze completely still turning his back to you. He wasn't sure it was you but now it was certain and he couldn't face you after the mean things he had said to your face. He hadn't talked about it to anyone except Elain and he kinda regretted it now. Things had got complicated between them because after your love confession she had grown so much jealous! He couldn't bear it anymore, he was a free man, he hadn't wings for nothing! They would argue a lot more and he hated that because it triggered bad memories in him. Plus he felt a bit bad about you. You hadn't done anything to him to deserve to be treated that way, he was ashamed of his actions because he knew that, as insecure as you seemed to be, you might have been spiralling since. That wasn't him, that wasn't how he was supposed to be. When he got Elain, she changed him a lot, and he wasn't sure anymore that it was for the good. She crushed all of his efforts to keep the bad parts of him inside. He was meaner, colder, he wasn't himself. Rhys have scolded him a little about that and he had really reacted in a bad way. An evidence of what Rhys had advanced. Azriel was sure he had made you feel bad, and he didn't want it : you were a nice and smart female, a little clumsy but still beautiful and lovely. As he finally turned to you, all of his regret splashed on him when crossing your look and seeing you pained eyes. You quickly put your head down and he felt even more bad to have made lose enough confidence for you to fear to hold his gaze. Thinking about it, he didn't understand you insecurity of the beginning, before the altercation. How could you, a very beautiful female, ever doubt about yourself ?

Realisation hit him, that he would have to take you flying because it would be awkward if he took Lucien, his girlfriend's mate. He knew she was complaining to him, and he felt even sorry for the poor Lucien. But a question lingered in his mind: how did you two know eachother ? And why the fuck would Lucien bring you to a family dinner ? Were you dating ? Fear crossed his eyes for a second before regaining his composure. You couldn't be dating Lucien, it was impossible, you had just said two weeks ago that you loved him. Could you have moved that fast ? It frightened him, knowing that he had grown to like you when thinking of your shared moments at training, where you two had laughed, sometimes until crying joy tears, and regretting the mean rejection he had given you in return of something so intimate and innocent as your love and devotion for him. Damn him he had even insulted you ! He cursed himself more and more until he got out of his head when Cassian called him.

"Azriel wake up ! You take yn." He said when shooting in the sky Lucien in his arms.

You both stayed in an awkward bubble, without moving an inch, avoiding the gaze of one another, for 30 long seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm sorry" and "so how are you doing" came at the same time from him side you. You awkwardly chuckled but he stayed still so you stopped finally having the guts to look at him in the eye for more than a millisecond.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder this time. You froze. You didn't want that to happen. You didn't want him to face you abut what happened. It would made it real, and you still hadn't enough courage for that.

"What for ?" You asked, your voice breaking.

"You what for".

You hesitated a lot before responding. "No actually I don't. Was it for mean rejecting me without an ounce of regret or nicenessin your words ? Or maybe the fact that you destroyed my confidence? Oh no ! I know, it was for the time you mocked me in front of my friend, who is in fact your girlfriend, and a fake friend!"

"You weren't supposed to be there that time." He said, suddenly finding the floor really interesting.

"Maybe but I was, so it's the same result and the same mean words that came out of your mouth."

He knew you were right. You were completely allowed to be mad at him for the way he treated you. But it was still hard. Azriel had never been in proper relationships nor had he ever been confessed to. It wasn't a proper excuse but it still made it hard to accommodate to those things for a boy deprived of love for all his life. He didn't know how to react, so to him, the better solution was to stay silent. You sighed, disappointed and he came awkwardly closer to you to hold you and shoot in the sky, following Cassian and Lucien, long arrived and waiting for you worried (especially Lucien).

Elain was waiting for Azriel, or Lucien, no one knew, on the balcony of the House of Wind and almost fell when she saw you. You in Azriel's arms, accompanying Lucien. Azriel struggled to let you go, especially after your conversation, but the second you were out of his hold, Elain held you in a crushing hug. You rapidly got out as well, feeling uncomfortable after her hypocrisy. You gave her a sad smile and Lucien introduced you to Feyre and Rhysand who had already told you to call them by their name, and to Mor and Amren. They all welcomed you warmly except Elain and Azriel of course who both looked like ashamed puppies with their tails between their legs.

After dinner, everyone went out in the garden for a tea and you found yourself on a couch behind Lucien sat on the floor. Automatically, because it was something you were now used to do, your hands found his head and started playing with his hair. Everyone had their eyes on you, confused on your proximity but you didn't notice and kept going on braiding his hair.

"I'll do yours later I promise" Lucien said, looking at you from above.

"I hope so !". Leaving everyone even more confused now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you were ready to left with Lucien, Elain caught you and asked you to have a word with her.

Lucien gave you a worried look and you nodded making him understand you were okay for now.

She led you to a private room and paced in it awkwardly. She opened her mouth twice and closed it almost instantly like she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start.

"So, you ans Azriel ? Huh"

"You have actually no right to be mad at me." She cut you off.

"Excuse me ? But I have every right to be mad at you right now ! You have treated me poorly faking to be my friend and laughing at me when you should have been comforting me !" You snapped, angry.

"Well, it's not like someone could ever treat you well."

"What, what do you mean ?"

"Look at you yn, nobody would ever really be with you. You're not ugly but you're not beautifu, you're not dumb but you're not smart, you're just.. Well you. And that's clearly not enough." She looked at you disgustingly.

"But Lucien is treating me well.." You said tears welling in your eyes.

"Don't be blind, yn, he's a man, and like Azriel he will ran to me when he'll see that you're no longer interesting. You were nice and all, you listened to me but I guess I just got bored of you, anyone would." And with that she left the room, leaving 8 pairs of eyes on you as she opened the door. They instantly approached you, Feyre apologising a thousand time for the mean behaviour of her sister and Azriel staying in the back, his eyes full of worry and apology. He was trying to make you feel like everything she had said was false, that you were so much more than that, worthy of the stars,of two shining stars. Because yes they had heard everything. Lucien made his way to the crowd of his family surrounding you and hesitated before he hugged you out of nowhere. Azriel clenched his jaw and his hands turned into fists. When Lucien released you of his grasp, your expression hadn't changed, its like you were empty, just one single tears had escaped your eye. Cassian and Azriel flew you to the ground of Velaris and the last one had kept his hand on yours to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry, for what she said. It's not one bit true."

"Don't worry, she's surely right..." You had answered your gaze falling on his hand. You had never noticed the scars an them, they were so beautiful, so textured, so unique. You eyes widened at the sight and Azriel quickly hid them behind back before keeping going.

"No she wasn't, please don't doubt yourself because of what came out of her mouth because of jealousy. Because that's what she was and still is, jealous."

"Thank you Az really." You sadly smiled at him before joining Lucien who was waiting for you.

He didn't know why, but something clicked in him seeing you walk away under the arm of Lucien and hearing again his nickname from your mouth. He thought it rolled well on your tongue and really wanted to hear it again, as soon as possible. And it tensed him a lot to know that this man who touched you, was probably sleeping at yours tonight, maybe in your bed to comfort you after this emotionally hard day. It puzzled him a lot and didn't even know why, until his shadows came to his ears and murmured repeatedly "want to be him".

Tag list:

@kalulakunundrum

#acotar #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel x yn #elain archeron #lucien x reader #inner circle #morrigan #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #amren #acotar x you #acotar x reader #acotar x y/n #writing #writers on tumblr

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potatoplace · 28 days ago

Note

I already forgot the emojis so I hope it's ok if I just say it 😭

Nesta --> angst/fluff --> best friends sibling

You met Nesta out on the town, told the whole inner circle how great this girl was, then came home to find her there and have it revealed she is feyres sibling... I mean it's a shock but it's no deal breaker. Maybe soemone (armen bitch) has some snide comments about it? (Reader used to have a crush on feyre so comments about her jumping from one sister to the next)

OOP

- Breathplay anon

Surprise!

Nesta x Reader

Warnings: Amren's a bit of a turd but that's it

🩶 Nesta 💖 fluff 💔 angst 😱 best friend's sibling

Notes: this was fun to write, it's not very heavy on the angst tho. More like teasing from everyone but Amren. I hope you like it!! 🫶 Request Post

18+ only pls

🩶🤍🩶🤍🩶

You skipped the entire way to family dinner, the soft soles of your slippers hitting the cobblestones of Velaris at an even, joyous pace.

You were in love.

Okay, maybe not love yet, but you were most definitely infatuated beyond belief.

Only two dates in and you were falling fast, the lovely female that you'd met at Rita's two weeks ago on your mind constantly.

Nesta.

Her bright silvery blue eyes had met yours across the dance floor, and, well... The rest was history.

So far your relationship had been mostly innocent - though Nesta's hand had slipped beneath your shirt as you'd kissed her goodbye last night.

The door to the River House swung open silently, and you made a beeline for the living room where your brother was sitting.

"Hi Azzie," you said cheerily, taking the cushion to his right and leaning against him. His wing curled lightly around you, and you resisted the urge to stroke them - you may not have the wings of your shared mother, but you'd been well informed of what touching them could do to a male.

"Evening, bunny. You sound happy," he remarked quietly, trying not to attract Cassian's attention.

It didn't work.

"Oh, is Y/N dating someone?" Cassian asked in a scandalized tone. You blushed and looked away, but you couldn't fight the smile that lit up your face when Nesta so much as crossed your mind. "Oh she is! Who is it? Tell us, tell us!" He goaded you, clapping his hands enthusiastically. Mor slapped his shoulder lightly, but her chocolate eyes also looked at your expectantly.

"Who is what?" Feyre asked as she came from the kitchen, Rhys in tow. They settled into an armchair across from you, Feyre pulled onto Rhys's lap.

"Y/N likes someone," Mor stage whispered behind her hand to Feyre, your face lighting up further.

Your eyes rolled to the ceiling at their antics. You hadn't been quite ready to divulge your blossoming relationship yet, but it seems you likely wouldn't be escaping this dinner without telling your family.

"Fine, it's someone that I met at Rita's a couple weeks ago."

"And?" Cassian asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"And we've been on two dates since then. She's... She's really sweet, and thoughtful. And she's so gorgeous, sometimes I feel like I can't breathe when I see her - in a good way, though," you gushed, before you realized that everyone was staring intensely at you, and Amren had slunk into the room.

Your head turned into Azriel's shoulder, attempting to hide your tomato-red cheeks.

"That's very nice, Y/N," Feyre said kindly, and you were certain she was wearing a soft smile. Your friend had only ever wanted you to move on and be happy, after all.

And you most certainly had.

Elain and Lucien breezed into the room a minute later, hand in hand. They took up residence in the last remaining loveseat as Cassian asked, "Guess what?"

Lucien sighed and Elain smiled softly at him before replying, "What?"

"Y/N is dating someone," he said excitedly.

"Congratulations, Y/N," Elain said, a warm smile sent your way. "I also have news: our sister will be joining us for dinner. I managed to convince her, after two years," she sighed. "So everyone be nice." A pointed glare at Cassian had some of his enthusiasm fading.

"Ooo, I can't wait to meet her! I'm sure she's lovely, if she's anything like the two of you," you said cheerily, wondering what she would be like.

She'd been estranged from Feyre and Elain for the past two years, and you'd only been living in Velaris for the past year - your brother had finally fetched you from Rosehall once you'd turned of age, and the past year had been spent exploring the city and learning what you had a passion for.

Cassian and Rhys both scoffed lightly, shaking their heads at your words. "She's a bit... prickly," Rhys said delicately, well aware of his mate's narrowed eyes trained on him.

"That's one way to put it," Cassian snorted. "I prefer to say she had a stick up her-"

Blessedly, three knocks hit the front door, and Feyre sprung up from Rhys's lap. She made her way to the entryway, flicking Cassian on the forehead on her way past.

Soft murmurs were all you heard until the two of them rounded the corner, revealing Feyre and Elain's sister to you.

Nesta.

Your eyes met hers, the shock in her eyes surely mirrored in your own.

"Oh, Nesta, this is Y/N, Azriel's half-sister," Feyre said after noticing the way your eyes had met.

"I... We've met," you said softly, your lip pulled between your teeth.

"Oh? How'd you meet?" Elain asked curiously, eyes flicking between the both of you.

"At Rita's," Nesta replied simply before making her way over to you, taking the last seat available on the couch to your right.

Amren let out a cold laugh. "Ah, sister hopping I see? What, were you still hurt that our High Lady rejected you?"

A bolt of anxiety went through you, shame following it closely when Nesta raised a brow at you questioningly.

You hadn't... "I didn't even know that you were sisters with Feyre, honest," you said pleadingly. "Besides, Amren, I had a small crush on Feyre for a week last year."

"A crush for a week is hardly love," Nesta said, a cool hand twining with yours. "And Amren, when's the last time someone had a crush on you?"

The other female merely narrowed her eyes at Nesta, taking a sip of whatever red liquid happened to be in her goblet at the moment.

"So... Are we still having dinner?" Mor asked after an awkward silence, rubbing her hands together. "Because I am starving."

🩶🤍🩶🤍🩶

#surprise!#Nesta x reader #drabble request game #drabble request #acotar x reader #acotar drabble #acotar #nesta archeron #Nesta #fluff #mild angst #anon asks #answered asks #asks #tato writes

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redbleedingrose · 4 months ago

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Yada yada something something ex-bf!Lucien except you’re both still in love with each other and he brings you flowers he’s picked from the fire Lilly fields in Autumn Court every other weekend and still brings you coffee with a chocolate Crossiant on Monday mornings bc he knows that’s your busiest day of the week and still pecks your cheek and murmurs “good job pretty girl” when you finish a crossword puzzle (some of ur answers r wrong but he would never tell u that bc ur so happy to have even finished it) and still pushes your back against your apartment door so he can give you some heated kisses just cuz he wants to hear your sexy little moans.

Everyone is confused bc yeah that’s your ex but he is YOUR ex.

#Lucien x reader #Lucien acotar #Lucien Vanserra x reader #lucien fanfic #lucien headcanons #pro lucien #lucien vanserra #acotar #acotar fanfic #acotar Drabble #rose writes

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slytherin-pen · 4 months ago

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Love Worth Waiting For

pairing: Lucien x Nesta

word count: 1.4k

a/n: trying my best to crank fics out today so that i can catch up 😫 written for day 3 of @sjmromanceweek “first i love you”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Lucien had been planning this for weeks.

Nesta didn’t know it, of course. She would have rolled her eyes and told him to stop wasting his time, but Lucien was nothing if not persistent. If he wanted something, he made sure it happened. And today, he wanted Nesta to be happy.

So, he stole two of Tamlin’s finest horses—thanking the Mother that their relationship was on the mends—packed a picnic, and convinced Nesta to leave the house by promising her good food and a peaceful afternoon.

He hadn’t mentioned the horseback riding part.

“You tricked me,” Nesta accused as she eyed the dappled mare standing beside him.

Lucien smirked. “I prefer the term persuaded.”

Nesta folded her arms. “It’s been too long since I last rode as a child. I’ll fall.”

“Then it’s about time you refreshed your memory.” He offered her the reins. “She’s gentle, I promise.”

Nesta glanced at the horse, then back at him. “If I fall and break my neck, I’m haunting you.”

Lucien laughed, warm and unbothered. “Noted.”

To his surprise, Nesta didn’t argue further. She let him help her into the saddle, stiff at first but adjusted quickly. He mounted his own stallion and led them down the trail into the forest, the scent of pine and earth thick in the warm summer air.

At first, Nesta was tense, gripping the reins so tightly her knuckles were white, her back too rigid. But as they rode, Lucien watched her relax, her sharp edges softening in the golden afternoon light.

By the time they reached the clearing he’d chosen, she was smiling.

Not one of those fleeting smirks, a rare real, soft smile.

And that alone made every second of fretting over the day worth it.

Lucien helped her off of her horse before returning to his to retrieve the picnic basket he attached to the saddle.

The picnic was simple—fresh bread, cheese, honey, and fruit. He laid out a checkered blanket beneath a towering oak tree, placing the basket in the middle. The horses grazed lazily nearby as he and Nesta settled themselves.

While they ate they talked about Lucien possibly becoming Spring emissary again, how Nesta’s magic training has been going, and how Jurian has been teaching Nesta how to wield a sword while Lucien is away helping Tamlin organize the wreckage that is his office.

“Do you regret it?” Nesta asked, covering her mouth as she bit into a chunk of watermelon.

Lucien looked up from his plate and cocked his head. “Regret what?”

“Resigning from being the Night Court’s emissary. Now you’re back where you started, and I just wonder if you would have followed the same path if you had not chosen to leave for me.”

“I am far from where I started,” Lucien smiled. “The issues with Tamlin are his own doing, and while I was in a haste to follow Feyre, I had my reasons to leave beyond being mad at him.”

“What were they?”

“You.”

Nesta nearly choked on her cheese cube and Lucien patted her on the back. “Me?” she blurted, the shock evident in her voice.

Lucien chuckled. “Yes, you. I never lied about not feeling like I have a claim to you just because we are mates, but when I caught Feyre fleeing for the Night Court I knew it was my only chance. Mates are precious, and while I knew I wasn’t necessarily ready to dive into all that it entailed, I also knew it was the only way I’d ever get to see you again. The Night Court has always had a rocky relationship with—well, everyone—and they likely wouldn’t have allowed me access to Velaris at any other time. I would have never had the pleasure of properly meeting you. So, no, Nesta Archeron. I don’t regret a single thing.”

Nesta opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “You went through all of that—escaping the Spring Court, running from your brothers trying to murder you again, and suffered through the way Rhysand and Feyre treated you—for me?”

Lucien scoffed. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

Nesta’s gray eyes narrowed, skepticism clear across her face. “Because I am,” she said flatly. “No one has ever done something like that for me.”

“Well,” Lucien tucked a strand of hair behind her pointed ear, “you should start getting used to it and stop being so suspicious, because you are worth that and so much more.”

Nesta turned her head, a flush creeping up her cheeks, but when she looked back at him, her eyes burned with a silent challenge. One that all but said, I’ll believe it when I see it.

Lucien met her gaze with a smirk, his eyes accepting the challenge, silently conveying he was more than ready to prove her wrong.

After a while, the gentle stream of the river called to him.

Lucien stood, brushing crumbs off his tunic. “Come on.”

Nesta barely looked up from she had been fidgeting with blades of grass. “Where to?”

“The river.”

She arched a brow. “You have some grand plan for that too?”

Lucien grinned. “I’m going to teach you how to catch a fish with your bare hands.”

Now she looked at him. Blinked once. Then snorted. “You’re joking.”

“Dead serious.”

Nesta sighed, stood up, and brushed off her dress. “Fine. But if this is another trick, I’m pushing you under.”

He laughed and led her down the small slope to the water’s edge. The river was shallow, clear enough to see the smooth stones lining the bottom, the occasional glint of silver as fish darted through the current.

Lucien stepped into the water without hesitation, boots and all.

Nesta hesitated. Then, to his utter delight, she kicked off her shoes and hiked up the skirt of her dress before stepping in.

“Alright then. Show me,” she demanded.

Lucien didn’t bother hiding his grin.

He showed her how to move slowly, to keep her shadow from scaring the fish away, to strike fast when she saw the right moment.

Nesta tried. She failed. Then she failed again.

The third time, she lunged so aggressively that she nearly fell in, cursing as the fish swam away.

“Slippery bastards,” she growled, glaring at the water as if it had personally insulted her.

Lucien threw his head back and laughed, a full, joyous sound.

Nesta scowled at him, water dripping from her elbows down to her delicate fingers. “Stop laughing at me.”

But before he could respond, she turned and stomped up the riverbank, her bare feet leaving damp prints in the dirt.

Lucien, still chuckling, followed her out.

At odds with the regal way Nesta usually carried herself, she plopped down on the blanket, flipping open the book to where she left off while Lucien simply laid back, hands behind his head, soaking in the warmth of the sun.

The scent of wildflowers and river mist lingered in the air, the world quiet except for the distant hum of crickets, the occasional rustle of wind through the trees, and Nesta turning the pages in her book.

Then there were fingers in his hair.

Lucien almost flinched at the unexpected touch, but Nesta didn’t stop.

Her hand moved slowly, rhythmically, stroking through his red strands, her nails barely grazing his scalp.

Lucien swallowed hard, keeping his eyes shut.

She had no idea what she was doing to him.

Or maybe she did. Maybe she knew exactly what kind of power she wielded over him with the simplest of touches.

For a long while, neither of them spoke.

The sun dipped lower, painting the sky in soft pinks and deep purples.

Lucien, lying there with Nesta beside him, with her hand in his hair, felt something settle deep in his chest.

And before he could stop himself—before he could second-guess or worry—he whispered, to the universe, to her, “I love you.”

The words disappeared into the air, barely more than a breath.

But Nesta heard.

Her fingers stilled.

Lucien didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t move a muscle.

Not for the first time in his life, he was terrified.

Then, after a heartbeat, her hand started moving again. Soft, slow, deliberate.

She didn’t say anything. But she didn’t pull away.

Lucien sighed, letting himself relax under her touch. He didn’t need her to say it back or feel the same way—not yet, maybe not ever. He just wanted her to know. To know that in this vast, unforgiving world, someone stood by her side, ready to catch her if she fell. That someone saw her for who she truly was and loved her. That was all that mattered.

taglist (comment to join): @tele86

#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fic #acotar fanfiction #fic writer #sjm #nesta archeron #lucien vanserra x nesta archeron #lucnes #lucien vandaddy #lucien vanserra #sjmromanceweek2025 #sjm fandom #a court of silver flames #a court of thrones and roses

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readychilledwine · 1 year ago

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✨️Poly+Acotar Week Masterlist✨️

Details Coming Soon

Day 1: (4/7) Beginnings

The Story of Us

Nessian x Reader x Azriel

After Nyx is given a school assignment on family dynamics, The Inner Circle's quad is stuck trying to explain to Nyx why they all still live together.

(Fluff)

Day 2: (4/8) Comfort

Matching Wounds

Feysand x Lyria Vanserra x Azriel

The first High Lord's meeting after the war with Hybern brings some old memories up that Lyria and Rhys would have rather forgotten, leaving their mates to try to patch together wounds they can't see.

(Angstish)

Day 3: (4/9) Secrets

His, Yours, Mine

Poly!batboys x reader

Finding out you were pregnant should have been the best news. It's too bad you don't know which of your three mates is possibly the father, though.

(Slight hidden pregnancy trope. Angst to fluff)

Day 4: (4/10) Adventures

Home to Me

Elucien x Reader

After the death of Beron, Lucien is finally free to move to the Day Court, and he could not be more ecstatic to have you and Elain by his side

(Fluff)

Day 5: (4/11) Favorite Tropes

Mister Grumpy Pantseses

Grumpy!Azris x Sunshine!Reader

All you wanted was a day in the vegetable garden with your husbands. Your husbands just wanted to spend the day at each other's throats.

(Angst and fluff)

Day 6: (4/12) Celebration

Happy Birthday, High Lord

Tamcien x reader

You and Lucien pulled all the stops for Tamlin's birthday this year. Now you just have to hope your mate appreciates it.

(Fluff)

✨️ Day 7: (4/13) Free Day ✨️

Schedule Conflicts

Feysand x Lyria Vanserra x Azriel x Nessian

Azriel shouldn't plan dates when he's tired. Luckily, Lyria finds a solution that makes everyone happy. Game Night.

(Fluff)

The Ruining of Seraphina

Inner Circle x Seraphina Vanserra

Seraphina should have known better than to make a bet against her mate. Especially when losing that bet means being free use for the Inner Circle for a week.

(It's just filth. 🤷🏼‍♀️)

For the High Lady

Poly!batboys x reader - can be read with or without reading the Auralism post in Valentines Day Bingo

Rhysand's generosity knew no bounds, not even when it came to sharing his mate with his brothers.

(Smut)

#poly!acotar #polyacotar x reader #polybatboys x oc #poly!batboys #feysand x reader #nessian x reader #nessian x azriel x reader #azris x reader #ploy+acotarweek

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 2 years ago

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chapter xxiii – gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count: 4,500+

masterlist

“You are being awfully quiet, my dear.”

Y/N blinked, getting mentally awoken by Leonora’s comment. “Sorry, I just…I don’t think the hand-made gown tailored specifically for me was necessary.”

Leonora looked confused. “And why is that?”

Y/N’s gaze couldn’t lift from the floor as she answered, “I do not think it is wise for me to attend the celebration.”

All of the servants and seamstresses froze from the statement and subtly looked at their Lady of Autumn for indication of how they should react.

But Leonora, calm and collected per usual, just gave Y/N a gentle smile. She nodded to the seamstress that was kneeling at Y/N’s foot to continue her work.

Then she looked up at Y/N without judgment or worry, but with an encouraging smirk and soft eyes. “Why would it not be wise for the mate of our new High Lord to attend his coronation, Y/N?”

The witch finally looked up from the ground to meet her gaze. “Will it not give the people of his Court the wrong idea? I am not the next Lady of Autumn, nor have I accepted his bond. I do not wish to put Eris in an uncomfortable position.”

Leonora gave a sad nod. “I see…” she sighed.

She turned around and gave everyone in the room a soft request to leave the two of them.

Y/N’s heart started beating faster as she watched them all quietly exit.

Was Leonora about to scold her? Yell at her for refusing to accept her son as his mate?

No, that couldn’t be it.

Leonora had been nothing but kind to Y/N since they met. Never once did she pressure her on behalf of Eris. She hardly ever brought up their relationship. Most of the time, Y/N felt like Leonora was just happy to have a new female friend in the Forest House, especially after so long of being a prisoner here.

Leonora offered Y/N her hand to help her off the platform she was standing on for the seamstresses. Then she held both of her hands gently as she told her, “You forget, Y/N, that you are more to Autumn Court than simply the mate of its new High Lord.”

Y/N’s brow furrowed.

Leonora smiled. “You are their savior. Yes, it was Eris who slayed Beron in the end. But he would not have had the courage or strength to do so without you. Most in this Court despised and feared Beron Vanserra. You have given this Court a chance for change.”

Y/N’s face grew hot from the praise.

Leonora gave her a sympathetic look before adding, “But also I cannot say that as Eris’ mother, I do not also have selfish motives, as well. You make him stronger. I worry how he will be if he if he goes through such a coronation alone.”

“But you and Lucien will be there,” Y/N tried to argue.

Leonora tilted her head and gave her a look. “It is not the same, and I think you know that, my dear.”

Then she looked down at the beginnings of the dress on Y/N’s body that the seamstresses had begun.

“As for the dress, Eris wishes to spoil you with finery and I can’t argue with his intentions,” Leonora teased with a smirk.

But her expression sobered. “However, I know neither he nor anyone else will fault you for avoiding such a celebration. So much has been thrust upon you, and in so little time. You must do what is best for you.”

Y/N frowned and looked down at herself. “I will let them finish the dress – if only to please everyone. I would feel bad for throwing away all their hard work they’ve already done.”

Leonora nodded. “I think that is a wonderful idea.”

–🍁–🍁–🍁–

In the following weeks, the Forest House was bustling with activity.

Apparently, the coronation included inviting every High Lord and Lady of of Prythian.

Which meant the servants and cooks were frantic with preparations. Lucien had explained to her that the staff saw this as an opportunity to show why Autumn Court should be considered the best of Prythian. With a new High Lord came a new chance to prove that Autumn Court could change for the better and they were not to be overlooked.

Therefore, Y/N tried to stay out of everyone’s way. She either hid in the library, continuing her personal research or she was in her workshop, keeping herself busy with spells and potions.

However, on the day of the coronation, she stayed hidden in her bedchambers, scared that leaving would only bring attention to the fact that she would not be attending the festivities.

Maids and seamstresses had knocked on her door early in the morning. But Y/N simply ignored them, not wanting to see the looks of disappointment when she told them she would not be going to the coronation.

Y/N tried to distract herself by the fire, sitting on a chaise lounge with a romance novel in hand when more aggressive knocking came at the door.

She planned on ignoring it again, but then she recognized the group of voices on the other side.

“Y/N, if you do not open the door, we will break it down!” Nesta threatened loudly.

She jumped up and hurried to the door to whip it open.

On the other side, were her three Valkyrie sisters: Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie.

Not only that, but they clearly dressed and done up for the coronation.

Nesta wore a simple black, velvet dress. But it was not simple in the way that it fit her body like a glove and edged toward risqué. Y/N had always appreciated how Night Court attire never strayed from being seductive and showing skin. Gwyn wore a more elegant black dress, which made Y/N wonder if Nesta was using her mate’s money to buy her friends luxurious gowns. Emerie wore leathers, that could have been a warrior’s uniform, over pants. Though less feminine, they were still formal and lavish in their own way.

When the Illyrian saw Y/N eyeing her outfit, she shrugged. “I was never really one for gowns…”

“You all look beautiful,” Y/N muttered. “B-But w-what are you doing here?” Y/N gasped in shock.

“We’re here for you, obviously!” Gwyn urged and pulled Y/N into a warm hug.

“Eris invited us,” Emerie confirmed with a smile, also walking into her rooms.

“Why aren’t you dressed?” Nesta asked, looking Y/N up and down as she closed the door behind them.

Y/N frowned. “I…I am not going.” Her eyes stayed down, scared to see their reactions to such a confession.

But, without hesitation, Gwyn announced, “Then we will stay in here and drink ourselves silly!”

Y/N’s jaw dropped at how unfazed her friends were. “B-But you will miss the festivities. And you all look so lovely.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “This will not be our last opportunity to dress up. We would much rather hang out with you than all the stuffy High Lords and their nobles.”

Then Emerie nudged Nesta. “But we must still tell her our plan.”

“Plan?” Y/N questioned, eyes scanning all of them.

“Helion Spell-Cleaver will be in attendance!” Gwyn squealed.

Y/N’s brow furrowed, immediately thinking of Leonora and Lucien. She wondered if the Lady of Autumn would ever reveal to her past lover and her youngest son of the secret relation. Or if Leonora would ever follow her heart and return to Helion.

“Yes, all of the High Lord’s have been invited…” Y/N muttered, not understanding their clear excitement.

“Helion is the sole owner of the last of the pegasuses,” Emerie explained.

Nesta rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “And he makes sure to remind everyone of it, using them as his transport to any event he possibly can.”

Y/N’s amusement dropped for concern. “Please, please, please tell me you do not plan on stealing Helion’s pegasuses.”

“Don’t be silly,” Gwyn brushed off. “However, we do plan on sneaking into their enclosure to give them some pets.”

“And perhaps seducing Helion into giving us one or two…” Nesta added while looking at her nails. Y/N gaped at her. “What? He’s already propositioned me to join an orgy once when I visited Day Court.”

“Yes, before you accepted Cassian as your mate!” Emerie pointed out.

Nesta quirked a brow. “Who said Cassian would not be participating?”

“Those smutty books of yours have given you too many ideas,” Y/N laughed.

“More like inspiration,” Nesta corrected. “And inspiration that my mate is very enthusiastic about trying.” Then she pointed to the book Y/N had been reading when they arrived and quirked a brow. "Do not pretend you are above them."

“OK. Enough about your bedroom habits!” Gwyn interrupted. Then she turned her attention to Y/N. “Are you in or are you out?”

The witch smiled. “Of course I’m in.”

Minutes later, they were sneaking around the Forest House, Y/N led them toward where she assumed any guests horses would be quartered for the night.

But before they could reach it, a gust of wind wrapped around the females.

“He…needs…you,” The wind whispered to Y/N. “Go…to…him. He cannot…do this…without you.”

Y/N froze in the hallway.

“What? What is it?” Emerie asked.

“I-I’m sorry,” Y/N whispered. “Eris needs me. I will catch up to you later.”

“Oh, for Cauldron’s sake!” Gwyn cried. “As if we would make you go alone.”

“She’s right,” Nesta added. “Someone needs to do your hair and makeup.”

–🍁–🍁–🍁–

Eris swore his back had a metal pole along his spine with out tense and stiff his posture was. He knew his expressions were cold and unwelcoming. But he was in a room with too many people he had yet to decipher friend or foe. The nobles of Autumn Court smiled at him, but most only wanted good favor with the new High Lord. And for those that weren’t smiling, there were plenty that looked at him with fear or uneasiness, trying to gauge if he was just as bad as Beron.

His mother kept giving him tense, but encouraging smiles every time he spotted her in the crowded hall.

When to use his mask and when to reveal his true self, Eris did not know.

It was easier when Y/N was by his side. She eased him, reminded him of who he truly was. The mask never felt needed when her scent surrounded him.

But his mate was not here, nor was she coming.

And Eris couldn’t blame her. These events of politics and groveling were conniving at their best and boring at their worst. If he could skip it too, he would have. But that was no way to officially take over the throne of a broken court that needed mending.

Eris once again caught sight of a group of courtier daughters. They whispered and giggled at him, hardly even bothering to subdue their staring. And it hadn’t gone unnoticed how they seemed to edge closer and closer as the night went on.

Yes, Eris was handsome and powerful. Female attention was not something he was unaccustomed to. But he knew what those females were truly after were the wealth and power being married to a High Lord would bring. It didn’t matter that everyone knew of his mortal witch mate. They wanted him for themselves regardless.

His attire did nothing to help him blend in to the crowd. New, custom armor glinted against the thousands of candles and faelight surrounding them. And the blood red cloak stood out – even in Autumn Court.

Eris threw back the rest of his faerie wine, hoping he could get drunk enough to keep his wits about him, while also making the evening go by faster.

“Another?” A male voice offered from over his shoulder.

Eris turned to see Rhysand handing him another full glass, Feyre glued to his side with a knowing smirk.

“I promise I did not poison it,” Rhysand added.

“At this point, you would be doing me a favor,” Eris grumbled, taking a sip immediately.

Rhysand smirked. “Already over being High Lord, Eris?”

“I became High Lord to make my Court a better place, not to rub shoulders with nobles and courtiers who wish to use me to gain favor…”

“And I’m sure being away from Y/N is only making your mood more sour,” Feyre muttered more teasingly.

“She may do what pleases her. I’m sure her Valkyries have found her by now and are keeping her company.”

“Are you quite sure about that…” Feyre asked as she looked behind Eris.

The High Lord of Autumn Court quickly turned to follow her gaze.

At the entrance of the great hall stood Y/N.

Eris felt the invisible string attached to his heart go taut. A feeling Y/N had not experienced, and probably never would.

Despite her entrance not being formally announced, many had gone quiet and began to stare.

Someone had pulled Y/N’s hair up and done her makeup. Though Eris found her beautiful regardless, the level of glamour around her made her magnetic.

Meanwhile, Y/N held her head high as she slowly, yet confidently, walked further into the room. She was doing a good job of ignoring the scrutiny, but Eris could tell that she was more than aware of the staring.

Her dress fit her perfectly. And while most attendees wore green and the rustic browns of the court, Y/N had not strayed away from vibrant red, almost looking as if she were glowing like fire itself. Eris realized it matched with his own cloak. There were strips of black in her gown that felt like a call out to her short time in Night Court, where she had already gained respect and acceptance.

Eris wanted to go to her immediately. But he had to hold himself back. There was a reason she was late and walked in alone, instead of on his arm. It was clear that she worried about making his court believe she had accepted the mating bond.

But if Eris had his way, he’d use his magic to shove everyone out of the path from Y/N to him. He’d stop any conversation he was having – no matter how rude or undiplomatic it was – to give her his full attention and affection.

“Will you not go to her?” Feyre asked, concern obvious in her tone.

Y/N’s friends of the Night Court were unaware of the the change in her relationship with the High Lord of Autumn. They did not realize how far the two had come, how much had changed. Everything was so much more complicated than how it had begun: a male desperately hiding his mate in a court that was not his.

–🍁–

Y/N felt the eyes on her. She wondered if all of them were judgment or if there was also just innocent curiosity.

She wished she’d forced the Valkyries to drink heavily with her before leaving her bedchambers, because being sober for this felt like a cruel torture.

The three of them convinced Y/N that she needed to walk in without them. That she needed to walk in confident and independent.

But Y/N underestimated how many stares she'd receive in return.

So, she decided to straight line to where refreshments were being served. Feyre had once warned her away from fae wine, for it is far too strong for mortals to consume in the same manner as fae.

But right now, Y/N didn’t care.

Of course she couldn’t make it there without overhearing a group of females. Whether they had noticed her arrival, she had yet to discern.

“Now that his dreadful father is dead, I wonder where the High Lord will find his…entertainment,” one female said somewhat quietly.

Another chimed in with, “I once heard he would only bed harlots at pleasure halls in other Courts, in fear that Beron would kill any female who could sire a child from him.”

“But now he has a mate. Surely that means any and all of our efforts will be wasted,” a third female added.

“Oh, please.” The first female scoffed. Y/N didn’t have to look at her to know that she was rolling her eyes. “She is not even a fae. Truly, how long do you believe we will have to stay away before her mortal life ends?”

This is a terrible mistake, Y/N thought. She should have never shown her face here. This was exactly what she had been wanting to avoid.

Obviously Eris was a desired male – High Lord or not. And who was she to get in the way of him finding a suitor that was of his Court, of his own kind?

But, suddenly, the females stopped talking abruptly.

Had they finally noticed Y/N’s presence? Did they even care enough to make sure she didn’t overhear such things?

“High Lord Eris,” the first one greeted overly sweet. “How lovely of you to join us.”

Y/N whipped around to find Eris’ eyes already locked to hers as he stood a few feet away from her.

He ignored the female High Fae entirely, not even glancing in her direction.

Y/N didn’t know how to address him in such a setting. She looked around before starting to lower her head into a bow.

You do not bow to anyone, Rhysand’s voice suddenly snuck into her head.

With her dress and fanciful jewelry, Y/N had removed her protective amulet that stopped any daemati from entering her mind. That meant the High Lord and Lady of Night Court were free to speak to her mind freely.

Ignore them, Rhysand added. He has been waiting for you all night.

Eris didn’t greet Y/N verbally. Because nothing would’ve felt right.

But his eyes said everything.

And slowly he offered her his hand.

Y/N’s chest heaved as she put her glass down before stepping forward and lightly placing her hand in his grip.

Without breaking eye contact, Eris lowered his mouth and kissed it.

Without hesitating, he pulled Y/N to him and tucked her hand under his arm so it gripped his bicep. Then he placed his other hand over it, securing her further to his side.

Without asking for direction, Y/N quietly followed him as he guided them to the center of the room.

There was suddenly a female gasp from behind them. Eris didn’t turn, but Y/N looked over her shoulder to see that the first female from the group was covered in red wine. So much so that it was dripping off of her fine gown.

And there was Nesta… holding an empty glass with a smug, but melodramatically innocent look. Gwyn and Emerie were trying to hide their amusement.

"My mistake," Nesta gasped deviously.

Y/N didn’t know when her friends had joined her, but clearly it was early enough that they had caught the dreadful things those females had been saying about her and her mate with their fae hearing.

Then there was a screech of fear and a soft growl.

She looked down to see that her new little pet fox, Ronan, was nipping and growling at the group of rude females. How he escaped from her bedchambers was beyond her. But clearly he didn’t like being away from her.

Y/N bit her lip to stop herself from laughing at the sight.

Then she whistled softly and Ronan’s head snapped in her direction. He didn’t need another command, so he floppily ran to her and Eris, trotting along beside them.

When she turned forward again, Y/N realized Eris was leading them to the throne.

And with the wave of his hand, Eris pushed his throne over a foot and a second one appeared magically beside it.

Y/N’s head whipped to him, wanting to ask him what in the Cauldron he was doing.

But then she realized he was making a statement. There were some who would question her and her relationship with their new High Lord. But Eris was announcing to everyone that she was to be treated and respected as their High Lady, whether she accepted his bond or not.

“Eris,” she whispered in a hiss.

Her anxiety was skyrocketing at the statement he was about to make.

But he ignored her subtle plea, and instead just said, “Head high, little witch.”

He guided her carefully up the steps that led to the throne and waited for her to sit before he took his own.

The room quieted and turned their attention to Eris.

Y/N controlled her expressions, but her heart was racing from confusion of what she was meant to do.

They will crown him now, Rhysand’s voice entered Y/N’s mind again. He wants you at his side, therefore you belong there. Act like you know it.

Y/N found both Rhysand and Feyre in the crowd, which was fairly easy since they were the only people wearing black in a sea of mostly Autumn Colors – except for the other High Lords that were in attendance.

The couple gave her encouraging grins. Then she found Cassian, Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie standing next to them, doing the same.

Cassian gave her a proud and beaming smile.

Y/N listened as one of Eris’ advisors started speaking the ritual of crowning the newest High Lord.

It was shorter than she expected. Though she struggled with paying attention, too focused on maintaining her posture and composure while being put on the same display as Eris.

Then the advisor was standing behind Eris, slowly lowering a rustic golden crown atop his head. It was in the shape of fallen leaves, with subtle hints of autumn red and green in the detailing.

As soon as it settled on his head, Eris turned to Y/N with his hand outstretched to her.

Without hesitation, she took it.

Together they stood.

The room immediately lowered into a bow – except for the other High Lords, who only subtly bowed their head in respect.

Y/N found Leonora’s gaze amongst them and she had a proud smile on her lips, but it was not only directed at her son.

Eris helped Y/N sit once again.

People started moving closer toward the throne.

Y/N realized the courtiers and lords were swearing their allegiance now.

A male high fae stepped forward first, bowing his strawberry blonde head deeply.

“Lord Foley,” Eris greeted indifferently.

The male bowed his head again and then turned his gaze to Y/N, opening his mouth to formally introduce himself to her.

“You are Eoghan Foley?” Y/N asked him before he could speak.

The males eyes widened in surprise.

“You own the majority of farms in the south east territory, correct?”

The male looked even more surprised.

Eris smirked at his mate, deciding to let her speak while he watched.

“You are known for paying your farmers the most, even when Beron underpaid you in an attempt to raise competition amongst other lords.”

Eoghan bowed his head. “My workers deserve a fair wage, Lady Y/N. When treated with respect they are more inclined to stay and there is less loss.”

Y/N then turned to Eris, having a silent conversation with their eyes.

“And for that, you shall be rewarded,” Eris’ voice came out strong and confident. And the entire room could clearly hear it. His gaze moved about the room. “The days of exploitation are over. Those of Autumn Court deserve to be paid for their work. Such competition only turns us against each other.” His eyes moved back to the lord. “A bonus will be delivered to you before nightfall tomorrow, Lord Foley.”

The male looked taken aback at such a decision. He half-expected to find that Eris was no better than his tyrant father. But he was instantly proven wrong.

“T-Thank you High Lord Eris,” he said with another bow. Then he looked up at Y/N before turning his gaze to the floor. “And to you, Lady Y/N. Our people are already indebted to you for bringing Autumn Court back into the light.”

“I hear your wife is a talented sculptor, Lord Foley.” Y/N noted with kindness in her eyes. “I hope to see her work for myself someday.”

“Any time you wish, Lady Y/N.”

“Enough business and politics for tonight,” Eris announced once Lord Foley had moved back into the crowd.

Then he eyed the other High Lords who were in attendance. All of them had been studying him and his interactions carefully. “Otherwise, we shall be spilling Autumn’s secrets to our guests who have their own Courts to govern.”

His courtiers laughed lightly at his joke.

With the swipe of Eris’ hand, the lighting in the room darkened to a moodier setting. And the symphony took their signal to begin playing music.

The guests started coupling up to dance.

Once again, Eris stood and offered Y/N his hand.

She took it, but moved close to his side so she could whisper, “I do not know these formal dances.”

Eris squeezed her hand tightly. “Trust me,” he simply whispered back.

When they entered the center of the dance floor, Eris pulled them into the proper stance. “I will lead. Just relax and do not overthink it.”

And Y/N did just that.

Either the steps were not as complicated as she had presumed or Eris was good dance partner. But they swayed across the floor. And despite hundreds of eyes watching them, the room disappeared around them, and it was just them.

“Thank you for saving me,” Eris whispered in her ear as he pulled her even closer.

Y/N knew this closeness was more immoral and informal, but she needed it. And if it was improper, Eris didn’t seem to care one bit.

“I hardly did anything,” Y/N admitted softly.

“You did more than you could ever understand,” he countered quickly. “You continue to be my savior, Y/N.”

“I didn’t want you to be alone,” Y/N confessed softly. Her lips quirked as she added, “The worst loneliness is felt while surrounded by others.” Repeating her past statement from the night he had confessed how lonely he'd once been in this court.

Eris stopped abruptly, pulling their dance to a halt.

His eyes slowly went from her eyes to her lips.

Y/N knew he wanted to kiss her. She could feel it. And she would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t want him to, as well.

Eris was calculating how safe it was to show such affection to his mate so publicly. Another voice in his head was telling him he should to whatever he damn well pleased.

A deep voice cleared their throat behind her.

They turned to see Cassian standing with his hands clasped behind his back.

He gave a polite bow to them. “I was hoping to share a dance with my favorite witch.”

Y/N smiled at his playfulness. But she also saw the hidden message in his gaze. Her friend was trying to save her if she so wanted it.

She turned back to Eris, half expecting him to be giving the Illyrian a death glare. But the High Lord only nodded, and slowly removed Y/N from his grasp.

“She has much to share with her friends,” Eris offered him.

“Shall we?” Cassian asked her with his hand offered.

The Illyrian's dancing just further proved how skilled Eris was. But Y/N didn't mind Cassian's clumsy feet.

“I am the only witch you know,” she glared playfully at him.

“Yes, but if I were to ever meet any more, you would still be my favorite.” He spun her sloppily, ignoring the steps everyone else was following.

He lowered his voice as he said, “I only wanted to offer you an escape. It seems tensions are high between the two of you…”

“Thank you,” Y/N told him with a frown. “I fear I am lost.”

His brow furrowed as he turned them. “How so?”

Her eyes surprisingly welled with tears. “Cassian…I-I-I love him.”

-------------------

I know it took me a long time to update. But I worked really hard on this. And I loved putting together everyone's outfits. 🥹

Please leave a lovely comment. You know I love a book report. @pancakefancake

#acotar #gust & flame #eris #eris acotar #eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader #a court of thorns and roses #autumn court #high lord of autumn #lady of autumn #cassian #nesta archeron #gwyneth berdara #emerie of illyria

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yaralulu · 2 months ago

Text

Cradle Me

Day 2 @tamlinweek

Summary: In the aftermath of Lucien losing his eye at the hands of Amarantha, Tamlin finds himself at the mercy of his guilt. Torn between choking on it and being there for Lucien. But isn’t it all the same in the end?

Happy Tamlin week everyone !!!

Almost succumbed to my fate of not participating (the last two months have threatened to take me out) but i managed to whip something up last minute !! Not related to the prompt but this is just a little glimpse of what I think the aftermath of lucien losing his eye would’ve been/ how deeply it would’ve affected Tamlin.

Thank you @olenvasynyt for the lovely headers!!

Read on Ao3 or below

“It’s almost over, Lucien. Okay? She’s almost done.”

Lucien writhed on the bed, his body spasming, fighting him as the healer dabbed a damp cloth over the fresh stitches lining his face. A throaty groan escaped him before he bit down at his lower lip, hard enough to turn the pink to white, his good-eye firmly shut, and squeezed Tamlin’s hand so tightly it went faintly numb.

Tamlin’s breath curled in his throat and his chest did that thing again, where it caved in and ached so violently he thought he’d never breathe again. But he pushed past it and gave Lucien’s hand a comforting squeeze back, smoothing his thumb over his clenched fingers. He could barely feel his hand, the tingling only spreading higher up his arm, but it was somehow the only thing keeping his feet planted onto the floor. He kept his focus on that literal physical sensation of Lucien holding onto him, praying that with time it would wipe out the guttural sounds of his pained moans and heavy breathing.

Another stitch had ripped open today. Third time this week that Tamlin found himself by Lucien’s bedside, holding his hand as a needle stitched his face back together. He wasn’t sure how much more Lucien could take of this, the stitching and restitching of his own face, the feeling of that needle stretching and mending the deep-cut lacerations she’d carved with her nails. It was torture, an endless nightmare with real no end or beginning . Every thread sewn onto Lucien’s tender skin seemed cursed to meet the same twisted fate. Splitting open without reason, gushing blood, subjecting him to another grueling session with the healer. It was their pattern—rejecting the stitches, refusing every bit of magic Tamlin and the healers poured into them, disobeying simple logic. Stubborn, unrelenting wounds slowly bleeding Lucien dry. Whatever evil Amarantha had sworn upon him had made sure of that. Her final kiss of punishment to Tamlin, to make him watch helplessly as his best friend suffered on his behalf. Unable to do anything, to help, to heal, to mend.

He forced his lungs to draw in air, feeling its coolness fill his chest but it did little in untying the knots in his stomach.

Your fault.

This is your fault.

The thoughts strangled him, knocking any air he’d just taken into his body. There wasn’t anywhere he could look to ease that suffocation so he looked up at the healer instead, choosing watching her work over Lucien’s current state.

Brows pinched, the healer put aside the cloth, murmuring something about the worst of it being over, and Tamlin hurried after her, reassuring Lucien that she only needed to patch up the area and then she’d be done for good. He tried to ignore how weary Lucien looked, how different and unrecognizable his best friend had become in just a matter of a few days. Tried and failed to not let it get to him as he stared at him laying on that bed he hadn’t moved from in days, the sheets damp and ruffled from his thrashing, his face limp against the pillow, pale and glistening with sweat. He squeezed his hand again, the move thoughtless, and Lucien’s good eye blinked in and out of awareness. He wasn’t completely unconscious but he was walking the line of it, the agony of being prodded and poked beyond what he could handle. Beyond what any person could handle. He was exhausted and Tamlin wished the healer would be done already. For both of them.

Gently, she turned Lucien’s face to her and brought her fingers to his swollen eyelid which was just out of Tamlin’s view. But just when her fingers touched him, he hissed and slammed his eyes shut, flinching his head away from her . The reaction was instant, the little awareness in Lucien that lingered pushing back against any more pain. The healer rushed to apologize, raising his hands midair in a manner of trust, and softly explained what she intended to. She went on about how she simply needed to examine the eye socket to make sure it was healing well and free of complications, then she’d patch up the wounds and she’d be done. She was smiling and sounded carefully hopeful, trying to coax Lucien into turning his head to her on his own but he didn’t move, facing Tamlin as he steadied his breathing that was all over the place.

And how Tamlin wished he’d look away.

He’d been so careful in not looking at him this past week, like really look at him. Straight ahead and fully take him in. He couldn’t—didn’t have it in him to bear witness what had happened to Lucien under his supposed protection. Couldn’t muster up the strength to face the severity of his wounds, the gravity of them, their permanent damage. He couldn’t. Just the thought of what those scars meant for Lucien made the world tilt around him. He’d only seen him that first day when he’d found him thrown at his border, so bloodied and disfigured that it’d made him sick.

He hadn’t dared look since.

Avoiding it when he could, conveniently looking away, walking out whenever the wounds were uncovered. Maybe that made him weak and pathetic, probably even selfish , but how could he look at Lucien’s maimed face knowing that was his doing? That it may as well been his fingernails carving out his eye and slicing down his cheek? How could he ever look him in the eye knowing he’s forever scarred because he’d sent him there, alone and unguarded per Amarantha’s terms?

He simply couldn’t.

Until now. Until Lucien had turned to him in a moment of pure need and looked at him. Really looked at him, his good-eye opening and resting on his face, blurred with tears and rimmed so red it no longer appeared to be its usual russet-brown. This was not one of those times where he could conveniently look away. His stare fixed on Lucien’s other eye without any of his control, a sweep of nausea waving in his stomach so intensely he had to dig his nails into his palms to keep it at bay. The eye was swollen red, puffed so far out there was no way he could open it on his own. It looked vicious, red and angry and even more gruesome with the multiple stitches running across it that were plenty gruesome themselves. His stomach twisted and his feet were ready to bolt, every bit of him pleading with him to look away, but he couldn’t move with Lucien staring at him, a silent plea in his eyes that he may as well have spoken aloud. It was agony keeping his face composed and he wondered if Lucien noticed the subtle signs of his hidden feelings like he often did. If he took note of that muscle in his jaw, flickering away as he swallowed again and again. The nails in his palm, the bouncing of his leg. He doubted he did. Lucien was somewhere very far away from here right now.

His brows pinched ever so slightly and Tamlin felt a light tug on his hand, pulling him from his thoughts. He stared down at their intertwined fingers and knew Lucien was asking for something. He could see it in the way he just barely glared at him with his weary russet-eye, could practically feel the plea now and he felt the guilt of his helplessness just as vividly, as real as Lucien’s fingers pushing into his.

He took a shaky breath and it was as useless as ever. Breathing had become a tight, painful thing, his chest merely constricting with the motion with no air ever coming in. He wondered if he was genuinely choking on his guilt, if that was even possible. He glanced up at the healer, her lips in a tight line of pity, and she looked just as helpless as he felt. Hesitantly, he scooted closer to Lucien and smoothed damp hair out of his pale face, plastering a gentle smile on his lips that he was surprised he managed to pull off.

“Lucien.” He called out his name softly, coaxing his attention. He withdrew his hand when Lucien tore his heavy gaze off his face and a hot surge of regret flooded him. Was that too much?

He tucked his hand under his knee and swallowed, the words he’d meant to say lost on his tongue and he felt them drift farther the longer he stared at Lucien’s swollen up eye. “She’s just going to examine your eye. It won’t hurt. It’ll be quick, she just needs to check. Okay?”

He wished his voice was thick with confidence, like a High Lord sure of himself as he promised recovery and delivered comfort with ease, but that wasn’t him. That had never been him. His voice shook terribly, betraying him, the words barely coming out with his throat so dry. It was impossible trying to maintain that facade of strength whilst looking at Lucien.

Jaw trembling, Lucien nodded, though the look of fear in his eyes was so intense it sent a chill down Tamlin’s spine. When Lucien turned his head towards the healer, Tamlin eased back into the chair and exhaled, rough and shaky. The healer was still hesitant to approach Lucien but once he nodded for her to go on, the tension in her shoulders seemed to relax and she didn’t waste any more time, leaning down to Lucien and informing him of every touch she was about to make. With expert hands, she lifted his swollen lid, Lucien only stiffening this time and Tamlin could only imagine how sore the eye was if such a light touch was eliciting such reactions. Resistance and muffled groans of pain. As promised, the healer quickly examined the empty socket, which Tamlin was glad he couldn’t see , and reassured both him and Lucien that everything was looking well, no complications or foreseeable infections. Tamlin let out a breath of reprieve and it was the closest he’d gotten to ridding that feeling of suffocation seizing his body.

He squeezed Lucien’s hand and he returned the move. For a moment, he watched Lucien inhale slowly through his nose, face ashen and lips trembling with each breath he puffed out, a fraction of relief washing over his expression and frame. The worst of it was over, for now at least. The sound of the healer rummaging through her bag settled between them and Lucien was eagerly watching her, waiting for her to pull out the bandages that signaled the true end of their session. He looked like he was about to lift himself on his elbows just to see what was taking her so long.

A sting of sudden pain pulsed through Tamlin’s hand, making him untuck it from beneath his knee. Angry red indents lined his palm. Liberty of his nails digging so hard into his skin without him even noticing. How hadn’t he felt that? He stared at the indents for a moment, the suffocation he’d been experiencing rising higher up his throat, before curling his hand into fists atop his thigh. He tried to take a deep breath but it never seemed to satisfy him, never reached the places he needed it to fill. His breaths got shorter, heavier, each one becoming a chase. He kept his gaze on the floor as he attempted to compose himself but the wooden boards were swirling , caving right beneath his feet like it’d just swallow him up. Panicked, he looked up at Lucien but he was off too. Blurred, a blob of red that intensified with every blink of his eye.

He needed to leave—the realization hit him suddenly, urgent and alarming. Just for a bit. Lucien needed him but he needed to leave for just a second. He needed to.

Running a hand down his face, he willed his eyes to focus just long enough for him to see the healer applying an ointment over Lucien’s eye. He was in good hands. He wasn’t in any pain.

“Lucien.” He forced his voice to be steady but it was strained. Lucien did his best to turn to him, weakly side-eyeing him. Tamlin’s chest did that terrible thing again.

“I’m going to go update Alis, alright? She’s worried about you ,” he said softly, trying to make it sound like he wasn’t just abandoning him. It was futile. Lucien’s good eye instantly widened, bloodshot red and scared. He shook his head and tugged Tamlin’s hand towards him, his grip harsh with insistence, as if he was physically stopping him from moving.

“Don’t.” He murmured, voice grave and desperate.

Tamlin nearly broke right then and there. He couldn’t be here. He wasn’t strong enough to be here. Lucien needed him to be strong enough for the both of them and he wasn’t.

He swallowed the unbearable lump in his throat and wondered how he was going to speak his next sentences without shattering. “I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back in a minute I promise.”

He meant it and Lucien believed him, fell into the comfort of the promise trustfully. He still trusted him though Tamlin would never understand why. The horror in his eyes didn’t faded away but he nodded eventually, warily letting go of Tamlin’s hand that’d been woven into his for hours. The absence of his warmth and pressure made Tamlin feel cold and tilted in some inexplicable way, like his tether to the world had been ripped from him.

Legs shaky, he pushed himself off his chair, getting one last look at Lucien’s gruesome wounds before a bandage was laid over them. His eyes met Lucien’s for a heartbeat and the absolute emptiness in them could’ve been enough to end him. The absence of him, the utter defeat, the hollowness—Tamlin felt sick, hot bile climbing up his throat.

He couldn’t leave fast enough, hand clamped over his mouth as he stumbled his way to the bathroom.

He slammed the door shut and heaved into the nearest trash can.

Fuck.

Black swarmed his vision as he stood back up, dots specking the bathroom tiles, body convulsing and barely able to hold his weight. His throat burned, mouth coated with bitterness and the aftertaste of guilt.

Gods.

He managed to keep himself upright just long enough to make it to the sink and hold onto the edge of the basin, surrendering his weight onto it completely, head dangling between his arms as his head spun in every direction possible.

He breathed in.

Breathed out.

Slowly, carefully as if he was just learning how to do it on his own.

He breathed through the nausea, the pain shooting up his temple, the crippling urge to break into sobs on the floor. But his chest was aching, shoving up all he’d been shoving down for the past week. The guilt, the blaming, the anger he had nowhere to put. The lack of control he felt over his own life. The all consuming fear that he’d lost the most important person to him, the despair over what he’d done to him, what Lucien had said for him. It was all rushing back to him like a tide breaking over the sea. A storm sweeping up the sky in a flash. His stomach twisted and the marble of the sink blurred under his gaze, whatever he ate last night threatening to come back up his throat.

Fuck, he was going to be sick again.

On instinct, his hand clamped over his mouth to stop himself from throwing up again, cold shivers raking his body. Every attempt at calming down was shot down with a cruel image of Lucien invading his mind. His eye, hollow and oozing blood. His face, teared apart and scarred, forever changed. His mind couldn’t stop remembering and remembering, pushing every memory of this past week forward and forward to the forefront. Assaulting him. Punishing him. Grueling him till the guilt drowned him. Lucien’s maimed face was burned in his skull, his screams echoing like cries in an empty chamber, the pleas and begging for him to fix him engraved somewhere deep inside him. A sound he’ll never forget. A memory carved in him, taking its place and pushing everything else aside.

He bit down at his lip and tightened his grip around the sink till his knuckles turned white and his hand went numb, the cold surface pooling under his fingers the only thing aiding him to some semblance of calm. His mind hung on to the sensation like a man finding prayer. That kiss of cold on his overwhelmed nerves, the smooth marble against his shaken body. He tilted his head back, eyes shut, continuing to inhale in and out until his breathing found its pattern.

When he was sure he wasn’t going to be sick again, he splashed his face with some water and rinsed his mouth of the bitterness. Begrudgingly, he faced his reflection in the mirror and instantly scowled at the state of him. He cannot go back out looking like this. He looked tired. Seconds from crying. Skin ghastly, jaw quivering, lips pale.

He had to pull it together. He didn’t have a choice, he needed to. For Lucien. He’d promised him he’d be gone no more than a minute and he’d already well surpassed that.

The guilt of that was enough to make him stand straight . The loss of his hold on the sink hit him hard, having been a sort of lifeline keeping him up, and he nearly lost balance but he pushed himself forward, the thought of Lucien waiting for him endlessly guiding him . He smoothed his hair down, dabbed at his cheeks to force some color back into his face and inhaled a final deep breath before walking out of the bathroom, chest still unbearably tight underneath it all.

He needs you.

He’s waiting for you.

Your fault.

You failed him.

You did this to him.

He needs you.

Your fault.

When he entered Lucien’s room, the healer was gone and Lucien was propped up on the bed, one half of his face bandaged the way it often was these days. The familiar look of him and slightly softened expression on his face—free of pain and agony—eased Tamlin. Made it easier for him to to step at his bedside without making it too obvious he’d just thrown his guts up. Made it easier to look at him, smile at him, pretend everything was as fine as it was minutes earlier.

Nothing was fine. His best friend had lost his eye. Amarantha had learned exactly how to get to him. How to get him to submit.

But he had to pretend. For him. He had to stay strong for him.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, putting on his surest voice. Willing it not to falter, not to show anything out of the ordinary.

Everything was fine. He was fine. He could breathe, his stomach wasn’t in knots, his hands weren’t shaking.

None of that was really true but he had to pretend. For him.

Lucien blinked and opened his mouth, one side tilting up awkwardly. “I’ve just spent the last hour crying like a babe but I’m fine now.”

True to his words, the events of the last hour were evident and had truly marked his voice. He sounded hoarse and weary, like the words were scratching their way up his throat. And yet, he was still him. Making stupid comments to try and lighten an awfully dark situation. Tamlin didn’t understand how he did it, how he found it in himself to still be his usually witty self,, but he appreciated that about him beyond words in times like these. He might look different, may sound a little odd, but he was still him. Lucien.

He managed a small smile. “Well if you cried, I didn’t hear it.”

Lies. He heard every last bit of it. He was sure his bones could ring out the horror of Lucien’s cries. Every note and wail. Everybody down the hall could.

Lucien gave him a look that told him he knew that too. The timidly splayed grin on his lips grew just enough for Tamlin to notice. It seemed uncomfortable to hold with half of his face wounded but he held it anyways. Like Tamlin had seriously said something he couldn’t help but grin at.

“That’s nice.” He practically chuckled, strained and throaty. “ Trying to preserve whatever is left of my dignity. That’s nice. Very you.”

It was difficult not to grimace at that but Tamlin maintained his mask of composure, didn’t give in to the punch that went gutturally through his stomach. Why’d he think it’d be easy being back here? Lucien’s eye being covered didn’t change the fact that he now embodied his greatest mistake. Eye covered or not, just looking at him made him slick with guilt, inside and out.

Lucien lulled his head softly onto the silk pillow, easing his ability to gaze up at Tamlin. Some of his hair fell across his forehead, red hair on golden skin that always reminded Tamlin of the sun setting, and he had to stop his fingers from reaching out and brushing the wispy strands away.

“‘Not that it matters though. I’m sure everyone thinks I’m a fucking idiot by now.” He said it like it was some joke but his tone was harsh, lips curled, and Tamlin could tell he genuinely believed it.

“Why would anybody think that?” The question was genuine. “What you did was—”

“Don’t you fucking say brave,” Lucien cut him off, sounding undeniably more like himself than he has in a week. Tamlin pursed his lips shut. He was going to say brave. Wether it was because he meant it or because it was the right thing to say, he wasn’t so sure.

“What I did was stupid. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and look where that got me,” Lucien muttered roughly, every word coated in bitterness that Tamlin could taste on his own tongue. “So what I did wasn’t brave or heroic or some other bullshit word, it was just stupid. Let’s not pretend otherwise.”

Brave, heroic, stupid—they were all spewed with such force, such contempt. Each one degrading in their own right. Lucien sounded so angry at himself and Tamlin couldn’t stand hearing it. He’d sent him there as his emissary, sent him right to her to negotiate, unprotected and alone, practically offered him to her on a pretty silver platter. Might as well have written her a note telling her please hurt him.

And yet Lucien blamed himself.

He did not deserve to lose his eye over some heat-of- the-moment comment he made. He did not deserve to get punished— gods, just the word made Tamlin sick. Punished. She’d punished Lucien and sent him back to him knowing what it’d do to him. She knew how it would ruin him. The punishment wasn’t for Lucien, it was for him. And if he’d gone instead, if he’d just show up himself, he would’ve received it firsthand or avoided it altogether and Lucien would be fine. Not in this bed with one less eye and half a face, hating himself for one small mistake. But fine.

Your fault.

The guilt rose up like bile in his throat, stuffing him full in a way that was growing to be familiar. He could hardly meet Lucien’s eye. The glare he was giving him was accusatory, burning with some emotion he couldn’t name but it was branding, heavy. He predicted it was resentment that Lucien might not fully understand but was surely building up, the realization that this was Tamlin’s fault being slowly put together in his head like a puzzle. Once he figured it out, he’d only ever look at him with hatred. Then, Tamlin would truly be unable to meet his eye and he’d deserve it.

He opened his mouth to speak and felt his mask of faux composure crumble. “Lucien, it’s not your—”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Lucien breathed, hushed and tired, before turning his head away from him. He rested it on the pillow and stared blankly at the wall, jaw ticking, making it awfully clear he didn’t want him here.

Tamlin’s feet were frozen, hands shaking. Maybe he’d been wrong and Lucien’s resentment had caught up to him already and he wanted nothing to with him. Maybe they were at that point and he’d just missed it . He wished Lucien hadn’t looked away so he could see what look was beheld in his one eye that now showed all he allowed and forbade.

“Lucien…” He tried, feeling helpless. Guilty. Blameful. He hated this.

Lucien didn’t look at him. “I’d like to get some rest.”

A dismissal. A clear one that Tamlin didn’t think he should push back against. He chewed on his bottom lip, heart sinking fast in his chest. “Okay.”

After a silent moment of standing at Lucien’s bedside, unable to move from the spot or tear his eyes off Lucien’s limp frame that wouldn’t even glance at him, he eventually pulled himself out of the room, hands trembling at his sides. Every muscle in his body was rejecting the act, every nerve firing up at how wrong it was to leave Lucien like this. Upset. Angry. Alone. And now Lucien was asking him to leave, not wanting him around, and he was well and truly afraid of what it meant.

Panicked again, he nearly bumped into someone on his way out, his eyes having been fixed on the floor as he tried to keep himself steady till he found his bedroom. He looked up, feet stilling abruptly, and it was Alis holding him by the shoulders, her caring brown eyes searching his face.

Right, Alis.

He hadn’t lied when he’d said she was worried about Lucien. He just never went to actually update her.

“Tamlin.” She said his name softly and casually, their relationship having become past formalities these days. “Are you alright?”

Her hands didn’t fall off his shoulders and something about her touch and honeyed concerned voice slowed down the erratic beating of his chest, grounded him just enough for him to take in the morning-lit hallway they stood in.

He exhaled and scrambled to find his voice. “ I can’t… I can’t go back in there, Alis. I can’t do it.” He blurted at once, voice shaking, hands shaking. There wasn’t a single bit of him that wasn’t trembling beyond his control and he felt the air still with his admission.

Alis’ hands dropped off him, her face slackening. “He needs you, Tamlin.”

She was looking him straight in the eye as she said the cruelest sentiment ever, an echo of disappointment hardening her stare though her voice remained a gentle timber. She said it like it was a terrible truth he was expected to know. His knees buckled, nearly giving out on him, because the weight behind those words, that emphasis she’d put on need, was crushing. Stabbing him in the heart would’ve been more merciful than this.

His mouth opened and shut many times but nothing came out. His throat refused to speak, Alis’ disappointment in him smearing his conscience with shame. That’s not fair, he thought and screamed with his face, his resolute shattering right in front of her. “He told me to leave, he doesn’t want me there.”

It was all he could think to say without saying what he actually thought. I’ve done nothing but hurt him. He doesn’t need me. I can’t be there for him.

Alis’ stare was unrelenting, the browns of her eyes catching the sunlight and resembling the bark of a tree. Wise and all knowing, burdened with knowledge. “He doesn’t know what he wants, Tamlin. He needs you.”

He loathed how she kept throwing the word need in his face. Couldn’t stand how it latched at his heart and ripped it to shreds.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, head shaking. “I can’t help him, Alis. There is nothing I can do for him,” he breathed, low and rough, hating the helplessness he felt all the time these days. How dirty and useless he felt.

“You know that’s not what I mean.” Alis’ face warmed with sympathy, brows turned up as she caught up to Tamlin’s train of thoughts.

He does know what she means, he just doesn’t want to admit that he can’t be the person Lucien needs him to be. It’s too fucking hard. And he knew that made him selfish and awful and a terrible, terrible friend, but he couldn’t even look at Lucien half of the time without feeling like he can’t breathe. He was weak, cowardly, and dripping in guilt like a man drenched in rain.

Alis had always been able to read him too well. Perhaps it was her age and wisdom that seemed so beyond him, or—like Lucien used to say—his face simply showed everything. Never hid a single thing. You wear your heart on your sleeve, Tamlin. It’s sweet. With some hesitation, she placed a comforting hand above his arm and smiled at him, genuine and almost relating, her eyes crinkling. Tamlin soaked it in, forgetting himself as did she. She dropped her hand sooner than he’d liked but her gentle eyes never left his.

“I’m going to make him something to drink. Go back in there. He’ll be pleased you did.”

None of that harshness he’d heard in her voice earlier lingered, replaced with a small smile and sureness that he didn’t understand. She sounded so certain of herself, so certain that Lucien would want him back in his room that he almost couldn’t help but fall for the promise of her words. With that said she turned on her heel and strode through the hallway, her burgundy skirt swishing over her feet.

Her words echoed like a bell ringing.

He needs you.

The door to Lucien’s room was just a few steps behind him.

His feet moved on his own.

He stood ahead of the wooden frame, hands fisted. He unclenched his hand, ignored the red marks he momentarily eyed, and slowly pushed open the door, feeling all the same things that nowadays surged whenever he stepped inside. The room was just as he left it; windows shut, blinds open, the space showered with warmth and light. Lucien still staring out the window, probably yearning to be outside again—he’s refused to leave the manor even on his better days—and Tamlin’s chest tightened right on cue when Lucien glanced at him, too swiftly for him to read him. He didn’t say anything, didn’t spare him another look, but Tamlin could swear his shoulders relaxed just a bit. He took that as permission to sit down on his designated chair.

And again, it wasn’t any easier being here, he was reminded of that instantly. His stomach was in twists, his chest stifled, his jaw agonizingly tight. But he was going to stay this time. Will push through it all because this was Lucien and there was no one else that mattered more than him. If he needed him he’ll be there with a noose of guilt around his neck.

#it would’ve been too embarrassing if i did nothing for tamlin’s week like #that’s my man right there i have to!! (and i really wanted to!!)#my determination outweighed my procrastination FOR ONCE #so yeah this is another miserable tamcien fic from me #probably fit the day 1 prompt better woops #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #tamcien #pro tamlin #tamlin acotar #tamlin week 2025 #lucien vanserra #posting the whole thing on tumblr for …science #i can’t decide if i hate or love this #acotar fanfiction #my writing

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