#happy 3rd anniversary you crazy kids

[chickensarentcheap]

The hits on my very first Tyler and Esme fic went up by more than two hundred since E2 arrived.

I had to tag you @asirensrage because you’re always trying to convince me it’s not as shit as I think lmao

Whoever is reading my stuff over there on Ao3, me love you longtime. Thank you!!!!

[knighteclipsed]

ooc; TOA Anniversary Munday!!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together. ily!!

tagging: (flutters my lashes)

Name: Kano!! IRLs also know me by Dimitri, but it is by no means restricted to there.

Pronouns: he/they/it

Birthday (no year): May 6th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? Georgia kiddo wrow. est in actuality, european at heart (during breaks)

Roleplay experience: Did some stuff back in elem? But never really got into it until TOA, which I joined about a year ago, the day before the 3rd anniversary!

---

Got any pets? Nope. I'd like to have a cat someday though.

Favorite time of year: Spring time baybeeeeee. Birthday bias but it's also a nice medium between extremes :softsmile:

Some interests and things you like: Uh...... Fire Emblem? Also most things that go into video games (drawing, writing, composing/playing music, i love programming so much it's insane, etc. etc), I'm a little art kid :sparkles:. Oh also Spider-verse and Nimona.... :softsmile:

Some fun facts & trivia about you: I know my integer squares up the 22? Did I mention I love math? Studying game design at a technical school rn, and I know six programming languages atm (JavaScript, CSS, HTML, Java, C#, and Python). I also programmed a text-only GBA combat sim in Python earlier this year. Took a couple weeks and I did that instead of my Physics work :D

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? ...So here's the thing. (JKJKJK) Uh..... I like Triangle Strategy, Hades, I've been meaning to finish the original Ori :shrek_mmh:, and Omori went crazy but I'm not playing it again (it's best on a blind playthrough). I also really enjoyed Undertale! Don't have much else on my backlog tho haha

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: So I don't really Pokemon. BUT. I do love Squirtle and Wartortle and I had a Gible named Nom Nom in Pokemon Arceus. Favorite type though would probably be Dragon or Dark. lol

---

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Back when I was in 3rd grade, my mother gave me and my brothers a Wii with Super Smash Bros Brawl! I was a Sheik main but my brother got me to play some other characters, including Marth, Pit, and Ike. I didn't like Ike for his slowness but Marth and Pit were good for my style of play. I later followed him into Fire Emblem Heroes hell, and then later into emulating Sacred Stones! Didn't finish it until after Three Houses came out though. Finished Azure Moon in three weeks (including school).

What Fire Emblem games have you played? I've beaten Sacred Stones and Three Houses, most of Engage, roughly half of Valentia, the first few chapters of Genealogy, Shadow Dragon, and Binding, and the demo of Awakening. Also about half of Three Hopes but that doesn't count it's a Warriors game (also through most of Book 5 in FEH) :/

First Fire Emblem game: Sacred Stones! The first I finished was 3H though lol

Favorite Fire Emblem game: Sacred Stones I think. Altho it's definitely fist-fighting 3H still.

Any Fire Emblem crushes? Dimitri is a solid one I think. Most of the Faerghus Four guys tho are... yeah. :woozy_face: Also mayyyyyyybe Diamant? I'm unsure tho FJDKNGKSFGN. The arospec-ness definitely kicking in :joy:

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: N/A - Fates: N/A - Three Houses: Dimitri hah - Engage: N/A

Favorite Fire Emblem class: Grrrrrrrr that's a hard one. Probably one of the magical ones, but (gestures at this muse) yk. Wyverns.

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? Either some sort of mage (probably Sage-leaning) or a wyvern class like Wyvern Knight. Mortal Savant is also very alluring.

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Blue Lions, no question. My energy is definitely more Deer tho lol

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? Sigurd. Dude is scary LOL

---

How did you find TOA? Okay so while I was still relatively new to Tumblr, I was browsing tags and a previous Dimitri's posts (the art especially caught my attention it was incredible) were coming up under the Dimitri tag (the mun knows who they are). When I looked at the blog and saw it was dedicated to Dimitri, I got completely suspicious of it immediately :crylaugh: Ended up digging around though and saw the art style was consistent, and after I got past the drabble at the top I realized it was a roleplay blog, which. While I was still new, I was accustomed from Twitter to people being both god artists and god writers, so I figured it was just all by one person. Followed it for a few months (which I got exposed for when I reserved Linhardt but I still find that hilarious so it's fine), and eventually the August activity check popped up last year and I decided to join. Yay! (Never found out who 'mun' was tho :/ (this is a jest))

Current TOA muses: Linhardt, Colm, and Valter!

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Also Linhardt! lol. While I don't expect to be dropping him soon (looks away), if I ever did, I have a feeling he'd be back eventually. Adore my little genderball.

Have you had any other TOA muses? Nope! Picked them up one after the other and have yet to drop any dnjgkfsn

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? Hm...... Well I know I have a type, but it's hard to put into words haha. Anyone who makes me laugh I guess? And people who are super duper attached to their role in life (think knights and knight-adjacents like Selena and Glen). There's something going on in their noggins that is just so. (STARES) Also people who scare me with their in-game dialogue. (Valter, but TS Dimitri applies as well FNDJKNG.)

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? I'm not really certain, but I know I have a LOT of fun whenever I craft dialogue. Me and my incapability to be quiet (endearing)

Favorite TOA-related memory: A close one would be two of the muns recognizing me when I submitted the Linhardt reserve, but I also get a kick out of Linhardt climbing a tree to escape a boar during Unscripted last year fnjsdkngsf. The birthday wishes back in May also made me explode (positive) EDIT: I FORGOT SIRIUS ROLLING VALTER FOR HIS LIEGE DURING KKE!!!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUSSSSSSSSS (so was patty's crush on valter. makes me cackle every time)

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? I might still make use of my Saleh blog. I have an idea I want to go for, but he isn't the biggest delusion right now. Neimi might also have a shot, but I don't expect to be doing anything for Lukas or Hubert any time soon. You all know who's coming next.

[malicedragoness]

Finally realized why I’ve been such a depressed mess lately. May 3rd will be two years since my dad passed away.

Mid April his health started declining. And around this particular time is when he was admitted to the hospital. Each day my mom would send text messages on his condition and what the doctors were saying. None of it was good.

Some of his vertebrae were collapsed in his lower spine. Sclerosis in his liver and his blood infection came back with a vengeance. He had mini strokes which threw his infections to his joints, spine, brain, heart, and lungs.

I remember calling my mom after that text message and asked her if he was going to die.

She sounded so confidant that he was going to be all right. The doctors were taking care of him and they had treatment plans set up for him. It assuaged me at that time.

And little did I know, that my mom and I were in denial. Because two days later is when they called her and said that he’s not responding. A whole cup of blood shifted to one side of his brain.

When rushed to the hospital and when I saw my dad, I knew he couldn’t be saved. But my mom and uncles refused to accept that answer. It took the hospital getting a brain surgeon on the phone to explain that he could do the risky surgery. But even if he survived he would be in a vegetative state. That’s something my dad wouldn’t want, so we elected to let him go.

I was also three months pregnant at that time and going through health issues with that pregnancy. And having to deal with my dad passing made me emotional, bitter, depressed, and angry at the world. I felt cheated that he wouldn’t get to see his second grandson. (We didn’t even know I was having a boy at that time.)

And my daughter Sigourney was only four at that time. My dad was her favorite person. And trying to explain to an innocent child that has no concept of death was heartbreaking and difficult. All we could tell her was “Paw is at the doctor. He isn’t feeling well and won’t be able to come home anymore, sweetie.”

That whole year was so traumatizing for her. I wanted to take that pain away from her so bad. Everytime she would hear the doorbell, she would get excited thinking it was him. And then burst into tears when it wasn’t him.

Eventually, she understood he was gone and wouldn’t be coming back. But then anytime my mom or myself went to the doctor she would get scared and plead with us to not go. She would cry and say “I don’t want you to leave me! You won’t come back!” It took a long time for her to realize that we wouldn’t disappear if we went to the doctor. Every now and then she gets teary eyed thinking about my dad. But she’s doing better now.

Last year I didn’t cry when his one year anniversary of his death came around. I just wanted it to be a normal day like any other and just think about happy memories of him. I avoided all phone calls and texts of people checking up on me. I didn’t want to repeat the same conversation over and over again and hear how sorry everyone was about his passing.

I went through that when he died and it drove me crazy. I remember wanting to vomit when I got another phone call right after another one. That ball of dread of having to repeat what was going on, how long he was in the hospital, how he died, and everything made me nauseous and upset. I texted my husband I was turning my phone off so I could get away from everyone’s fucking “I’m sorrys”.

And I didn’t want to go through that on his one year anniversary. But now this year, I’ve been a crying, depressive mess.

My brother finally brought his urn over to my house yesterday, and it’s like it hit me all over again.

I may take some time away, most likely just this week, to get my bearings together. I miss my dad. I wish he could’ve seen my son. I wish he could see my kids grow up. He was so excited to be a grandfather and he only got to do it for four years. It’s not fair. Sigourney and Donatello are gonna grow up and not get to have his love the whole time. Donnie doesn’t even know who he is and will never know what his voice sounds like.

I miss him so much.

[thistleandthorn-events]

FUTURE WEEK

The time has come! We will be starting Future Week on Monday (March 27)! So if you haven’t, make sure you do the following:

Make a side blog for your future character.

Add your character to this sheet.

Post an update to the side blog - where they are, who they’re with, what they’ve been up to, etc. Post the link to that blog in the Future-Week Discord channel.

Post your mood board/collage to the side blog and post the link in the Future Week Update Discord channel (for 100 points)

There will be other events going on throughout the week, most are family friendly but there are daycare services available as well:

Monday March 27 - Welcome picnic with food games, carnival rides/games etc.

Wednesday March 29 - Alumni Dinner at Ammé (in town)

Friday March 31 - Tailgating and Football game

Saturday April 1 - Alumni Formal Dance in the great hall

Monday April 3rd - Family funday in the court yard - music, food, games, magician, bounce houses, etc. 

Wednesday April 5th - Family friendly sock hop at Pops (in town)

Swim Meet, Football game, Soccer game

Open Mic Nights at Le Bonne Nuit (in town)

Additional sales at vendors in town

Random things to keep in mind when navigating this event :

Please remember - THIS IS AU. It will have no affect on real-play after it’s over.

Kids are allowed to come visit, however, NO PUBLIC SEXUAL PLAY. Behind closed doors, at the D/s club, or with rented slaves at Evan’s House ONLY. 

There will be child care options at the school for the school sponsored events that can be utilized.

No one stays on campus - they will have to stay in town in hotels, but people can come on campus to visit and be involved in the events.

Classes as still going on for the current students.

Any huge plots - please run them by us first.

Have fun and HAPPY SEVENTH ANNIVERSARY in this crazy little world!

[sterecs-sterek-fic-recs]

Sterek Valentine’s Fic Recs

Happy Valentine’s Day for tomorrow, everyone ♥ We couldn’t not post a rec list today with this theme! A lot of us love mushy, cutesy declarations of love, but listed below is a mixed bag of both that, and more angsty Valentine’s fics, if you’re not so into tooth-rotting fluff.

Happy Reading!!

-Mods @thisgirlsays22 & @snarkatthemoon​

♥ Valentine's Day Candy in Aisle Four | linksofmemories_archive | E | 9k

“It’s so commercialist, and all it does is bring people down who don’t have a special someone.”

“Basically.”

“Are you two seriously discussing your hatred of Valentine’s Day when a man with a gun is walking around the store?”

♥ Love Is Blind And So Is Stiles | clotpolesonly | G | 1.6k

Stiles is an idiot. Derek is in love with an idiot.

It’s not like he didn’t already know this. He’s spent too many years watching Stiles walk head first into glass doors because he’s too busy texting to look where he’s going to not be aware of how much of a moron this otherwise very intelligent person can be. But he would’ve liked to think that Stiles wasn’t completely blind.

He would’ve been wrong.

♥ Lucky That I'm Yours Every Day | stilinskisparkles | T | 6.7k

Derek doesn't see how Valentine's Day can get any better than a normal day with Stiles.

♥ The Curse of Saint Valentine | llassah | E | 12.8k

There are a few werewolves, largely dismissed as crocks by the general population, who claim that Valentine's Day has been commercialized by werewolves who have infiltrated the card publishing industry in order to give people an explanation for the intense increase in overblown futile romantic gestures at this time of year. Werewolves, on the second full moon of the year, are overcome with both an intense physical desire and the overwhelming urge to woo their chosen mate.

Derek Hale's struck down by the Curse of Saint Valentine. It's not all bad.

♥ always gonna be mine | elisela | T | 2.6k

“I hate to cut this short, but I have to get home,” he says apologetically, and Stiles is surprised to see it’s just after two in the morning when he checks his phone.

“I don’t think an eight hour date is short by anyone’s standards,” he says, glancing over at Derek and trying to read his reaction, but Derek’s face is too hidden in shadows. “Kinda crazy that we both grew up in Beacon Hills and it took moving to New York to meet you,” he says, slowing down when they get to the door of his building.

♥ Have a Heart | kyrene | E | 23k 

Spending his Valentine's Day on a stakeout and coming under threat of death by midnight... these are not Stiles' idea of how a holiday should go. Especially when it's Derek who's caught up in events with him. On the other hand, maybe things will work out all right in the end after all.

♥ I Hope Not | JoMouse | T | 6.8k

After everything they've fought, Stiles thought he'd seen it all. Until the night he stunned Cupid.

♥ Free Flowers, Fast Food | aurevell | G | 1.6k

Derek is hangry and dramatic (on the inside), there’s literally nothing to eat in his dorm room, and some weird kid on campus is handing out roses in the dark. And of course, it’s Valentine’s Day.

♥ Strawberry Shortcake (and Other Disasters) | aurevell | G | 5.6k (sequel to Free Flowers, Fast Food) 

Derek’s struggling with a massive paper, Stiles is on the evening shift, and their first anniversary is shaping up to be kind of a wash. And of course, it’s also Valentine’s day.

♥ I fell down on St. Valentine's Day | HalfFizzbin | T | 2.5k

According to legend, the historical St. Valentine was a 3rd-century priest who performed marriages for couples forbidden to wed under Roman Law.

According to another legend, Derek Hale is a die-hard romantic.

♥ Convenient | exclamation | E | 10.7k

Stiles knows what he is to Derek: convenient. He knows that Derek isn't looking for a relationship, just someone to have casual sex with. Which is why Stiles is so surprised to find Derek setting up a romantic dinner for Valentine's Day.

♥ Kiss Me Under the Light of a Thousand Stars | alisvolatpropiis | NR | 5.6k

“It was a true love spell,” he admits quietly. “It was supposed to help me find my true love. And apparently I suck at magic as much as I suck at dating because I screwed this up too.”

~~~

In which Stiles' Valentine's Day love spell goes very wrong.

Or perhaps very right.

♥ this is precious love | sterekhale | T | 1.9k 

Stiles rests their foreheads together as they slowly sway offbeat. The song builds up, singing about precious love, and it’s everything Derek doesn’t know how to say out loud.

After the song fades out, Stiles pulls back from Derek while pouting. “It’s too short,” Stiles says.

“Play it again.”

—

After four years together, Derek reflects on their relationship, Stiles makes a promise, and they slow dance in their kitchen.

♥ Hotsky to Trotsky | paintedrecs | T | 3.3k

Derek had his future mapped out: there'd be graduation, followed by college, followed by (he hoped) a good grad school, then a career as a professor whose students didn't spend their time flicking paper footballs at each other and obsessing over their dating lives. He had good friends, a good family, and no time to focus on distractions like high school gossip or relationships.

He hadn't factored Stiles Stilinski - lacrosse player, class clown, part of the popular crowd, currently spending his entire day staring at Derek and smiling - into his plans.

[blkchainsaws]

the way life goes 🦋

I know you're sad and tired You've got nothing left to give You'll find another life to live I know that you'll get over it

THE WAY LIFE GOES - LIL UZI VERT

after a tough breakup and a fight that left you scarred, you reflect on some things.

pairing: bakugo x black!fem!reader warnings: bakugo, cussing, fighting/arguments, mentions of scars and hospitals, characters are 3rd years word count: 1.4k author note: really needed to practice angst! excuse any mistakes. i dont really like this since i feel like it's rushed pls enjoy tho <3

you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling. the sun was peeking through, slowly making it's way into your bedroom. another sleepless night. you were thinking about him again. you were still in disbelief, you didn't want to believe it, but it happened.

he left you when you needed him the most.

you took in a deep breath. every time you thought about it, it always came to that conclusion. you would retrace your steps to see where you went wrong, how this could've been avoided but no, he truly left you when you needed him most.

you shook your head, tears slowly starting to pour out your eyes. you couldn't face reality. you were still stuck in your fantasy world. where everything was peachy and so sweet you could get cavities.

where did you go wrong? all you wanted to do was protect him.

you closed your eyes. trying to escape deeper into your world of sweet lies. you didn't want to think about it anymore but no matter how much you dug into your mind to slip back into your happy place, you kept hitting that steel wall.

it towered over you, a list of your insecurities and flaws plastered all over it. it was engraved in perfect writing. even the blind could read what was written in that wall.

you shook your head again. trying to loosen the steel wall, but all that did was cause the steel wall to tilt over and crush you. you felt the weight, you felt the cold steel pressed against your scars that covered your once smooth skin. you felt your tears pouring out at an alarming rate.

you were completely crushed. no one was there to help you escape this wall. you didn't want to see anyone. you couldn't bare to face his friends.

"he cares...he just has a way of showing it."

you squeezed your eyes shut. "then why leave me alone..." you choked out, your voice was so weak and tiny compared to the usual upbeat tone. you sounded like a broken record.

"why...why...why"

you brought your hands to your face, only to stop when you saw the remains of what was once so beautiful.

your hands were everything to him. they were soft and delicate, he loved to hold them, kiss them, and press them against his face. you could still feel his surprisingly soft skin against your hands. it was almost as if that was the ONLY thing you could feel now.

your hands were now scarred and battered, as if someone held them and balled them up into pathetic little balls of flesh. a hideous pattern of scars was layered on top of your hands. each scar was ugly and asymmetrical. nothing was pleasing. it didn't make you look cool or confident, it made you look and feel like a an abomination.

you threw your hands away from your sight...but you knew that wasn't enough.

you knew exactly how you ended up here. you were reckless.

everyone was fighting trying to protect each other. that's when you saw him, he was cornered, he told you to stay back and never interfere with his battles but you didn't listen.

you saw his eyes, they were clouded with fear and worry. your reflexes kicked in, you were so stupid.

you shouted out for him, bringing attention to yourself. something you were told multiple times to never do.

you heard multiple voices call out to you, before a flash of light and sudden darkness.

you remember waking up in the hospital. everyone, including him, was hovering over you. you couldn't remember their faces, it was all a blur, all you remember was his. he looked so disappointed and worried. you were not used to seeing that look in his face, he looked as if he didn't sleep in days, his hair was a mess, his eyes were droopy and had terrible bags under them.

the way his eyes lit up when you made eye contact. there was a brief moment of happiness between you both. until his facial features morphed into that angry expression you loved.

but there was no love behind his eyes this time. there was only venom and hatred. if looks could kill, you would've been dead.

it soon became a screaming match between you both, with everyone in the room.

you remember every phrase and every insult he threw your way.

"I TOLD YOU TO FUCKIN STAY BACK!"

"WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE?"

you relived this moment multiple times at this point. those blurry faces from before slowly started to come back, each detail in everyone's face becoming clear. you started to remember how everyone had to hold him back at one point due to how heated he was getting.

"YOU'RE JUST SO..." he trailed off. he looked away from you, a few tears dripped down his face onto his shoes. he wiped them quickly.

the room was silent and tense. his maroon colored eyes met with your (e/c) eyes.

"i can't do this anymore. you're a burden to me."

a sharp ping went throughout your chest.

"you couldn't listen to me just this once. now you're battered and useless. you may as well be quirkless at this point."

you felt your heart beat faster. your sobs were getting louder by the moment.

"you wasted your potential all because you didn't want to listen to me. you're just so stubborn and it almost cost you, your life." his eyes were so stern and...mean.

"i just can't put up with you anymore. goodbye." he turned and walked away after that and he never came back.

you waited days and days for him to visit. everyone reassured you he would be back, but you all knew, he wouldn't come anywhere near you.

you weren't the same to him anymore.

your beautiful face was now marked with a large scar that went from your chin up to your left eye, as if you were todoroki's twin. you lost so much hair you were practically balding at this point. your arms were mangled and a dull shade of your once perfect skin. your legs were still healing, thank god nothing too horrible happened to them. they were the only thing keeping you positive during this time.

it was your body that was making everything worst. you couldn't get into the details. just various stitches and scars that look as if a kid took a marker and went crazy on you.

flawless, perfect, smooth, radiant brown skin ruined. hair that took you YEARS to grow out and care for ruined. your relationship...ruined.

you were soon excused from U.A. you were too battered and useless.

the sun was still creeping up your window. you would've been up at this hour, getting ready for a day at school. you would've taken a few photos to show off your beauty.

you would've been on the phone with mina, planning out your day.

you would've been there earlier than everyone else, you lived so far away and it was the only way to make sure you never get a tardy. bakugo hated when you were late.

you would've met up with bakugo as well, and planned out your 3rd year anniversary. he would get flustered and tell you to quiet down

you would've sat with him at lunch trying to sneak a piece of his food. his cooking was so good, you loved when he brought you a bento. the spices he used, the ingredients everything was just so perfect.

you would've been training with the girls gossiping about uraraka's obvious crush on deku. seeing her pale face turn the brightest shade of red was the funniest thing.

at the end of the day, you would've walked up to bakugo a huge smile on your face as you both walked to the dorms. you would've told him all about your training, and how you were finally coming up with a hero name.

bakugo would only listen, a very small smile on his face.

you would've sat in the common area, braiding mina's hair and talking to everyone about their day and plans for tomorrow.

at the end of the night, you would've walked over to your boyfriend, wrap your arms around his neck and give him a kiss, feeling his much larger hands wrap around your waist.

you would say "I love you."

and he would say "I love you too."

you stared at the torn hero suit that hang in your closet.

you would've.

taglist: nobody yet!

[hyunnie]

STRAY KIDS 3RD ANNIVERSARY

happy birthday boiisssss!!! wow it’s already been 3 years that’s crazy. y’all are crazy. i don’t even know what to say anymore besides thank you for existing??? thank you for allowing us to be a part of your lives and for helping us navigate our own lives. i don’t even have enough words to express how much y’all mean to me...but damn just keep fucking shit up bois. take that world by storm lol take it all!! and STAYs will be here cheering y’all on till we idk pass out or something lol. thank you skz ❤️❤️❤️

1ST ANNI | 2ND ANNI

[tippenfunkaport]

Happy Fandomversary to me!

I posted my first fanfic ever, Getting Warmer, on June 22nd, 2020. I also started this blog on around June 10th, 2020. Thus I recently passed my 1 year fandomversary and yesterday was my fanficerversary (yes, that's totally a word)!

In the last year, I have posted just under 300k words of fanfic (and written easily twice that that I haven't posted yet). That was 50 fics by AO3's count, 80 fics altogether (because a bunch of my fics are actually collections of one-shots).

If you're curious for my full stats for the last year they are below...

I know these numbers are nothing compared to people who regularly write for the big ships but for a person who mostly writes a side pair and just started a year ago... I’m proud of these numbers.

When the pandemic started, my day job (which is writing but not this kind of writing), was a victim of the virus. I spent March through June hustling my butt off, trying to pivot to streaming content, getting what work I could out there and taking writing classes. Someone left a comment on one of my recent fics saying that I write 3rd POV really well and, funny story, that's actually because I was taking a class on writing 3rd POV in June of last year and I wrote my first fanfic as a way to practice that (my teacher will be very proud I’ve that apparently gotten the hang of it!).

By the time July came along I, thankfully, had gotten enough day job stuff done in those first frantic three months of work that I could coast while those projects went through the dev pipeline which was good because I was also at my absolute breaking point, having been, at this point, trapped in my house alone with my two little kids for three months.

(People wonder why I relate so much to Bow. I’ve been stuck with two feral chaos gremlins with no regard for personal safety who are constantly at each other's throats. I have to be the upbeat cheerful one keeping everyone's morale up even while having my own personal meltdown that I keep shoving aside for the good of the team, Meanwhile, it’s felt like the world was ending around me for most of the last year+. Bow is a MOOD.)

So after I wrote those first two fanfics as homework for that POV class (yes, I wrote An Outside Perspective as homework), I decided to say f it all and just vibe in fanfic land for a little while. I, like a fool, assumed it would only be for the summer and then the pandemic would be over and my normal job would be back so I'd just take a few weeks off and get right back to it.

Fast forward to now. Fortunately, all that stuff I did in March through June of last year paid off but, aside from work I did on those projects here and there, my job is basically still gone. My BRAIN is definitely gone after all this time... and I'm still here writing fanfic and chilling in fandom-land metaphorically twiddling my thumbs until there's some return to normalcy.

That said, I NEVER would have made it through the last year if I hadn't decided to dive into fandom the way I did. Having this as an escape and distraction, meeting so many amazing friends? Those were both absolutely essential to my well being and sanity in the last year. This has been the first fandom in ages I really let myself get involved in and it's been a fantastic experience. I love this show, I love these characters but most of all I love all of you and all the weird antics we get up to.

Big picture? I do need to go back to doing proper paid writing regularly again at some point. If my normal job doesn't come back soon, I was honestly thinking of taking some of the fanfics I have written but not posted, filing the serial numbers off, and publishing them as real books. (You know how some of the Tuna Cans fics refer to events that I've never posted anything about? That's because I have written a TON of more content for that AU that I have been sitting on because it's far enough away from canon I could probably just write it as a real book at this point. Ditto that vampire AU I talked about a TON for a while and then mysteriously shut up about... think I'm going to publish that one as a real book too.)

Going into this fanfic experience, I always thought I couldn't write romance at all and this has been kind of an illuminating experience that, hmm, I guess I can? So that's something I may explore in the future. (Comedy? That I knew I could write. 😉) If nothing else, this virus situation has showed me my job is not as stable as it felt two years ago and maybe it’s time to diversify just in case. 

But, in the short term, I'm not going anywhere. Even if real work starts up full time again, I won't disappear entirely because it's going to take me a while to get back into the swing of things and I will be finishing all my in progress fics (I'm not leaving anyone hanging, don't worry, even if it takes a while!). I also have a big list on my desk of things I have already written that I def want to publish before I leave fanficland... and then a second list of things that I may post as fics... or do something else with them someday. Either way, I’ll eventually post them all in one form or another.

This is a weird kind of anniversary. Obviously, if you had told me a year ago that I would still be writing fanfic one year later in the throes of this dang virus, I would have thought you were crazy. The last 15 months have felt simultaneously like an entire lifetime and also flew by so the fact that it's even been a year completely messes with my sense of time. It does not feel like it's been that long. But I have met so many wonderful people because of this, made some amazing friends, and think, if nothing else, it's been good writing practice and given me confidence to expand into genres I never dared to try writing before.

For the last week or so, I've been chasing that milestone of 80 fics (and 300k posted words but I missed that one by thaaat much) so I have been neglecting my normal fics in favor of shorter prompts and older stuff I wrote ages ago and never posted. I will slowly be catching up and working towards getting most of my in progress fics done before the end of the summer (with the exception of Going There and Prince Bow and Archer Glimmer which are long and will be ongoing for a while). I also have a few one shots, some on the longer side, that will appear randomly in-between as well as a few more prompts and things for ships weeks. And then you WILL be getting Outlaws of the Whispering Woods as soon as I finish up some of my other ongoing fics because I worked hard on that one, dang it, and know you're going to love it.

Beyond that, I honestly have no idea what to expect but I thank you for joining me on this journey so far! You’ve made this last year more than tolerable and I thank you so much for that!

So here's to a weird and unpredictable year in fandom and whatever the next year holds!

Your pal,

Tippen

[yakocchi]

My Darling’s the Strongest (Scenario Event) // Leonardo

(graphic is separate from the event)

me: wow i wonder what cool and amazing new content there will be for white day week cybird: we heard from no one that u like reprints that only have new ranking avatars. so heres another reprint that only has new ranking avatars me:

…….cybird it’s ok to not make every event have ranking cards. yea i know they make gangbusters versus events without cards, but if it results in less new scenario events overall… that’s not great

anyway, it’s been like 4 months since a new Count scenario event has been released (which is a better track record than several charas) and i wanted to do a longer string of text to test out a keyboard i ordered. yea im very fickle with my output but ehehe what’s new i archive leo events sometimes, so i decided to dredge one up to translate. i actually wanted to do vlad’s first post-main-route event as a sort of celebration for when it would inevitably happen, but then said scenario event appeared and it ended up being an AU. why does this game like AUs so much? the canon universe already pretty farfetched… u literally have dracula and ure telling me u would rather put him in a situation where he would not be dracula. cowards

This event (first released ~July 2020) was made for the 3rd Anniversary of JP Ikevam later that month. The event was split into two parts, where iirc the first part contained the Count, Arthur, and Mozart. Leo was in the second part with Napo and Isaac.

Spoilers under the cut!! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*) image-heavy!!

…

The master of the manse, from time to time, starts his conversations with the most unexpected topics. One of those “times”, was today.

...

[Count]: “—So, I’d like the two of you to go out for the Best Couples’ Contest.” [Leonardo & Kara]: “Huh…?” As soon as we had excused ourselves into his quarters, the Count had said something completely unexpected. Leonardo and I had responded with a confused noise spilling out of our lips. (The “Best Couples’ Contest” is that event where they pick the best couple in Paris, right?) (I wonder why he suddenly decided to say he wants us to go.) Even as the two of us stood bewildered in front of him, the Count’s smile remained, untarnished. Leonardo then heaved a massive sigh…

[Leonardo]: “Now, I’m used to you telling me crazy things—" [Leonardo]: “But at the very least, could you give us the entire story, O’ great Count?” The Count began to speak once more—

[Count]: “Well—” [Count]: “Last night, I had visited an acquaintance upon them telling me that they had gotten their hands on some good wine.” [Count]: “At one point, they informed me that they were going to hold a contest to determine the best couple.” [Count]: “Then, they asked me if I was acquainted with any prospective couples for it.” Leonardo then took over from Count as if he had read this story before.

[Leonardo]: “Then, in your drunken state you selfishly entered me and the little sweetheart to the contest, did you?” (And that means… the Count thinks me and Leonardo would have a chance?)

The Count responded to Leonardo’s summation of the events with apparent amusement. [Count]: “I do believe I wasn’t drunk at the time, I’ll have you know?” [Leonardo]: “That’s even worse, then.”

[Count]: “Oh my, Leonardo. Is it really all right for you to say that?” [Leonardo]: “Hah?” [Kara]: “gh-…” The Count had turned in my direction— and so Leonardo, as if in pursuit of the gentleman, then turned to face me as well. Their gazes seemed to urge me to confess my true feelings on the matter, and I earnestly comply.

[Kara]: “Ah-, I… I just thought it sounded fun.” [Kara]: “And on top of that, I’d be really happy if everyone acknowledged me and Leonardo as the best couple.” (Even though I’d be nervous to stand in front of so many people,) (I’d be able to boast that such a wonderful person is my lover…) (And I also think it’d be a good opportunity to see if I’m able to become a suitable woman for Leonardo.)

[Leonardo]: “…” A surprised expression appeared on Leonardo’s face for a moment, before it was replaced with a smile…

[Leonardo]: “Shall we partake?” [Kara]: “Huh? Is it okay?” I had blurted out my question, and Leonardo gently patted my head. [Leonardo]: “This situation’s turned into nothing but a good opportunity, so we might as well have some fun and aim to win this thing, yeah?” [Kara]: “gh- Okay…!” Glad that Leonardo was also interested, my voice naturally gained a bounce to it.

[Kara]: “But, I wonder how they’re going to determine the best couple?” Muttering this, the Count then handed me the invitation, which had a general outline of the event written inside. Promptly opening it, written was—

(The contest is to be a few days from now, and I can look forward to what we’ll be tested on… on the day itself?) The portion I wanted to know about most of all hadn’t been written, and I internally slumped my shoulders.   The invitation concluded with a single line— “The key to victory is to have a mind and soul of love towards one another,” (I guess the ‘mind and soul of love’ is supposed to be a hint, but…) [Kara]: “Hmm… With just this, I don’t know what the contest could be about, at all.” [Leonardo]: “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart.” (Huh?) Leonardo brought his face up close to the Count… And as if he had devised a scheme, a mischievous smile had turned the corners of his lips. [Leonardo]: “You’re close with the contest organizer, right? I’m led to believe that they have some sort of hint on ‘em.” [Count]: “Leonardo…?” [Leonardo]: “We may have willingly chose to participate in the contest— but it doesn’t change the reality that it was our lovely Count who dragged us into this in the first place.” [Leonardo]: “So, naturally, you’re gonna cooperate with us, no?”

As a result of forcing the Count (against his will) to spill the details, we were able to make a guess on what we’d be doing in the contest. But…

most everyone else in this event: (thinking hard on what to do bc they dont kno what the contest is going to cover) leo: fuc it CHEAT

…

[Leonardo]: “…” (…Leonardo has an awfully complicated look on his face right now.) In my mind, I think over our discussion from a moment ago:

The organizer of the couples’ contest appears to have hosted several dance contests as well. To put it plainly, the organizer is both a huge socialite and a huge fan of dances. (So, individuals are called from high society circles to be chosen as the “best couple”, and) (The probability of competing based on our dancing… is high.)

[Leonardo]: “Hagh…” [Kara]: “…Hehe.” Seeing Leonardo’s pouting face, I unwittingly laughed. Then— [Leonardo]: “What are you laughing for, sweetheart?”

[Kara]: “I just remembered something from back before we became lovers.” The conversation of that day, the day where a weakness of his had been exposed, replayed in my head—

…

[Leonardo]: “…I can’t dance.” (Huh…?) [Kara]: “You’ve got to be kidding, right…? You can build and play instruments, and yet…” [Kara]: “Is it because you don’t go to many socialite parties to begin with, so you haven’t had many opportunities to dance….?” [Leonardo]: “No, I’ve participated in ‘em the point where I’ve even had a hand in producing those sorts of dazzling venues.” [Kara]: “’Producing’…” (This person really can do anything and everything. No, no, that’s not true…) [Kara]: “Leonardo, the mystery that surrounds you is only getting deeper and deeper.”

[Leonardo]: “I avoided having to do it.” [Kara]: “…’Avoid’?” [Leonardo]: “…Try to imagine it. Me, dancing?” [Leonardo]: “It doesn’t suit me, I don’t have the look required for it…” (…What… is this?)

[Kara]: “…Hehe, ahaha!” [Leonardo]: “…Hey, sweetheart. What are you laughing for?

…

(He said the same thing back then.) Unable to hold it in, I continued to giggle… [Leonardo]: “Don’t laugh.” [Kara]: “I think you’re the one smiling here, though?” [Leonardo]: “…I’m just feeling terribly nostalgic right now.” Answering me, his eyes held a gentle light within them as if cherishing those days, [Kara]: “You still hate dancing, I assume?” [Leonardo]: “Even to this day, I find it embarrassing to do. Radiant, cheerful stuff doesn’t mesh with me. But—" (Huh?)

The second I wondered if Leonardo was going to start something, he suddenly pulled my waist towards him for an embrace… [Kara]: “Woah, woah-…!” Regaining my senses— Led by Leonardo himself, I properly danced. [Leonardo]: “I’m able to dance like the average person now— and it’s all because you came to keep me company.” While I was still surprised, Leonardo dropped a light kiss on my forehead. [Kara]: “Nn-…” Flustered, I looked up to find a completely composed smile on his face… [Kara]: “…ngh-“ An impulse overwhelming me, I lean my head against his chest.

[Kara]: “…Sly as usual.” [Leonardo]: “Hm?” [Kara]: “Even though I thought I had finally found a weakness of yours, you’ll get over that hurdle too pretty soon.” [Kara]: “When you do things like that, you become sly so smoothly, exquisitely.”

(When he shows this side of him… I get driven to work even harder than before so I can catch up to him.) While even feeling a frustration from it, I turned my gaze back to Leonardo.

[Kara]: “It seems like this world is going to become one where there’s absolutely nothing you can’t do.”

[Leonardo]: “…Maybe?” (…Hm?) For a second it felt as if he were pondering over something, a particular emotion washing over his face.

But before I could say anything, I was swiftly embraced, and that thought of mine scattered, and vanished. [Kara]: “l- Leonardo?” [Leonardo]: “Hey, look there, sweetheart.” (Huh?)

Following Leonardo’s gaze— I could see the dusk dying the sky from a distance away. (Pretty…) The view that he showed me, was beautiful.   But, at the same time… my chest was tightened by this sorrow. (Although the scene before our eyes is the same between us, time passes differently between us…) (During moments like this, I feel that difference.) (However— When we became lovers, I had decided that no matter how different we are, I’m going to embrace the present, make the most out of it.) (I’m going to savor even the passing seconds, cherish them… as we live together, as two.)

As if to confirm he was really there, I embraced his warmth in return… [Kara]: “Leonardo, I’m looking forward to the contest.” [Leonardo]: “Mhm.” In the vivid sunset, we smiled to each other.

…

—Time passed, and the night of the contest arrived at last.

…

(W-Wow…) When we had entered the venue in our formalwear, there were several couples eagerly waiting for the contest to start. (All of the people here have to be participants for the contest, huh. …Somehow, my heart’s pounding.) I took a deep breath to calm myself down, and when I did that— Leonardo, as if to soothe my heart, lightly stroked my hair. [Leonardo]: “Why is it necessary for you to feel all anxious?” [Kara]: “Leonardo?” [Leonardo]: “To the point where there’s just no way we can lose to any couple here— I love you, you know.”

[Leonardo]: “—Well, and you?” Inquiring me, his smile was brimming with self-confidence… And caught up in his mood, I smiled cheerfully.

[Kara]: “I love you too— to the point where it’s impossible for us lose to anyone…!”

[Leonardo]: “Heh… Very nice, then.” [Judge]: “—And so, the contest shall begin now. The means of competition is to be by dance.” (Ah-…!) We look to each other, and Leonardo, extending his hand towards me, says, [Leonardo]: “Kara… You’ll do me the honor of a dance, no…?”

PREMIUM END

[Kara]: “Yes, I’d be delighted!” (Even though I was so nervous about this until now… Now, I can’t help but just be excited about it.) (I want everyone to quickly feast their eyes on our dancing, and our bond!) Taking his hand, I nestled close to him as an elegant melody began to echo within the dance hall. To become a flower that offsets the man before me, I step forward—

…

—When the contest had ended without a hitch, the both of us walked along the moonlit Seine as we made our way home. The chilly breeze felt pleasant on my heated skin. [Kara]: “We really were able to win!” (I was able to prove my bond with Leonardo to all of Paris… I’m so happy that I can’t stop a smile from showing on my face.) [Leonardo]: “I did say we wouldn’t lose to anyone, didn’t I?” [Leonardo]: “But, well, to think… the winning prize was a year’s supply of wine of all things. ‘Guess sensuality and allure are as good as goddamn useless to them.”

he’s trying to say that he doesn’t like the prize cuz it isn’t very sensual/sexy (suppose he imagined a prize for a lovers’ contest would be more along those lines). even Arthur in the epilogue is like “…thought the prize for a best couples’ contest would be more special”….

[Kara]: Hehe, it’s a nice prize, isn’t it? Let’s drink it with everyone else in the manse.” [Leonardo]: “If you’re satisfied with it, that’s good, I suppose.” As he spoke, Leonardo looked to be the same as usual, but his eyes reflected some kind of joy from within. (I’m glad that this will become a lovely memory I’ll have about him.) (…But, even then) The very sight of Leonardo of when I had danced with him in the dance hall, wouldn’t leave my head. [Kara]: “Your dancing was really, really stunning.” [Kara]: “As I had always thought… you’re the strongest one around.” [Leonardo]: “What’s all this about, hmm?”

i probably should’ve bothered explaining it last year since i used the title “My Darling’s the Strongest” for the other translation but uh might as well do it now that it’s explicitly used in the story so by “strongest”, it doesn’t necessarily mean physical strength (though it can be). It’s “strongest” as in a form of “mightiest” or “most powerful”, kind of like when someone says “my baseball team is the strongest in the league”,

[Kara]: “I just think that you’re the mightiest lover as there’s nothing you can’t do.” Carried away by the thrill of victory, I professed my thoughts. In doing so Leonardo’s brows lowered, and a bit of a troubled smile graced his lips. [Leonardo]: “If I’m able to put some effort into it, then I guess there’s really nothing I can’t do. But…”

[Leonardo]: “There is something I simply cannot do, no matter how hard I try.” (Huh…?) [Kara]: “Something you can’t do… I can’t imagine such a thing existing.” He was undoubtedly an almighty genius, and was also the type of person willing to confront even his awkward dancing skills head-on.

At my murmurs, Leonardo continued as if the topic was no big deal.

[Leonardo]: “It exists.” [Leonardo]: “I cannot become an ordinary human.”

(gh-…) His words had vanished into the night breeze.

I inadvertently stopped in my tracks, and he stopped as well… and the both of us stood still in that one corner.

In my current view, the moonlight illuminated his figure as he stood before me. [Leonardo]: “As a pureblood vampire,” [Leonardo]: “I give you much loneliness— A loneliness that, if I were an ordinary human, you would never have to experience.” [Leonardo]: “However, if I went and lamented over every single little detail of that truth, I would be rendered unable to be with you. —Thus from the very beginning, I do not intend to lament either.” [Leonardo]: “I’m going to use as much of my power as I possibly can to grant your wishes, and that’s all.” (Using his power, my wishes…) I recalled the exchange we had a few days ago:

…

[Kara]: “Ah-, I… I just thought it sounded fun.” [Kara]: “And on top of that, I’d be really happy if everyone acknowledged me and Leonardo as the best couple.” [Leonardo]: “…”

…

[Kara]: “Did… you say that we should go and try to win the contest… merely because I…” With a smile, Leonardo proceeded to stare intently at me. [Leonardo]: “Well, there’s that, but additionally… I had the same motive as you had.” [Leonardo]: “I also had wanted the both of us to be acknowledged as the best couple.” [Leonardo]: “I wanted news to spread that I had been able to become the man of such a wonderful woman, you know.”   (gh- Leonardo…) Leonardo, whenever and wherever, envelops me in his great, unparalleled affection. Roused by the surging love within me, I went to grip his hand.

[Kara]: “…Leonardo, I want to be by your side tonight, and all night.” (I want to give him, in return for the love I received from him… those same feelings, that same love.) (I want him… to feel my love as well.)

[Leonardo]: “…” [Kara]: “gh- Ah-!” I was suddenly yanked towards him; and almost stumbling over my feet, it had closed the distance between us. Bringing his lips to my ear, he whispered:

[Leonardo]: “What a coincidence. I was just thinking the same thing.”

…

—As soon as we entered his room, we melded, deeply kissing each other. [Leonardo]: “…Hah-, Kara…” He called my name with a wet, heady timbre between kisses, the sensuality of it making me go lightheaded. Crowded atop the bed, he pried my lips open with his finger… [Leonardo]: “Thinking about it, I haven’t received a reward from you yet.” [Kara]: “’Reward’…?” [Leonardo]: “When I’m feeling, touching you like this… I know that you’re not so dumb to be oblivious to what I want?” [Kara]: “ngh-…” Taking a guess on what he desired from me, I slowly brought my face closer to his.

[Leonardo]: “Good girl. Come on— Try to turn me on with a kiss?”

FIN

yes the event really stops here before the epilogue teaser. cybird when a sexi scene is about to start:

since this was a glorified keyboard test, this is mostly a one-off… so don’t expect leo translations from me otherwise ahah

u know, it’s always weird to me that leo’s stuff is always very sorrowful bc of the vast diff in lifespan, humans vs. vampires thing. like, does he not plan to turn her into a vampire? the wedding stuff makes it sound like they’d like to be together forever but they still don’t really like to broach the topic itself……… kinda sus given that the Count’s stuff gets several mentions of biting in events and vlad clearly doesn’t mind biting whenever (and is just waiting for her to give him the go-ahead). ive seen some ppl talk about how maybe leo likes her because she’s human (both as in being a literal human and the figurative idea of being “human”) and honestly……… it is kinda messed up to think about, but i can see it LOL now im not saying the other pureblood x mc relationships are super healthy but that’s a convo for another time

well at least these guys don’t have to ask someone for vampire-turning assistance. im imagining one of the other charas having to ask the Count to bite mc akin to how teenagers have to ask their parents to drive them and their friends around to do stuff…….. who wants to relive that nightmare

also sorry if like leo’s voice doesn’t match up with w/e the official engl localization does. ive literally never played an engl cybird game in my life, so it’s a crime of ignorance i swear. tho imo if they’re not making him sound like a rascal… that’s very lame, im not gonna lie

the epilogue is obviously not available for purchase rn, but please buy it and/or support the game with purchases when you can!!

As always, thanks for reading!

(gif source)

[dragaliamini]

Dragalia Minis Index

If you enjoy my translations consider donating to my ko-fi it would help me out so much!

Dragalia Minis Translations Download Folder

Comics:

Cherry Blossom Viewing (Official)

Munch munch... Snack time. (Official)

Today is April Fools #ramen

Homemade Cookies

The pudding was delicious! #merc’s

Mercury’s True Form Unleashed! (Official)

Potato chips, pudding and melon soda (Official)

Just hanging out for a bit (Official)

Snowdragon ♪

Dragalia Lost ♪ 

When pigs can’t fly

Buried in the flowers

Midgardsormr’s True Form? (Official)

Drakes, Fafnirs, Fafnir Roy III ←New!

Rainy Day outing

Let’s try one together next time!

※ Alas, it did not get better

Before becoming the Beary hot-headed trainer! (Official)

Jupiter’s True Form!? (Official)

Dragons are all friends with one another!

We’ll be together forever! #hairornaments

WAAAA~ I’m Scared~  (Official)

Backstage Interview

Summer Festival

Can you guess my favorite food?

Moonlit Night

Zodiark’s True Form (Official)

It’s almost First Anniversary

Hello? What’s Down?

What is your desire? 

Coming Soon

A Shocking Conclusion!!

White vs Black 

What’s your favorite flavor?

Autumn’s Comfort 

Dragalia Burger~ 

Woof! Bark!

Hot and Steamy, blow blow

Cure and Refresh!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Here’s to a good year ahead!

Kanji of the Year

Coming of Age Day

Snowball Fight 

Spring Festival

Grilling meat together!

4 Brothers

Let’s Remodel☆

Love♡

Pancakes

Rise up Raid Bosses!

Put your hands up!!

In the end, I was happy (Official)

Memories

A Style that sticks

Dreamin a Cute Dream

Delicious Sushi

Finally! I’ve been waiting

Kindred Minis

Childhood Friends

A Good Catch~

A game for everyone to play (Official)

Chinese food is delicious!

Friends

June Bride

Here, for you

Cat Sith

Our Good Friend Styx

What shall we have for dinner? (Official)

Jupiter’s Delusion (Official)

Hii-chan~

Summer

Wow! Fireworks!

Darling♡ (Official)

He uses Worcestershire sauce for sunny side up eggs

Beware his occasional sharp tongue

Honey

Horus and Murals

Before the show goes live

Thank you for the past 2 years!

Previous Life

They are making their move

Warm, fresh and yummy

Happy Halloween!

His back pain has healed

◜ᴗ◝

What shall we play?

It’s almost time for curry

Yabai desu ne ☆ (how crazy is that~)

Which should I pick

It’s almost time for dragon yule

I look forward to getting to know you

Have a Happy New Year

There is nothing to be scared of

Gobble, Gobble

🤔

My Dear💕

Dragalia Lost X Persona 5 Scramble (Arsene)

Dragalia X P5S (Carmen)

We reached 100! Thank you!

Be Strong

Fizzzz

Doting Parent

Surely he will be very Cool!

Sleepy...drool

Chthonius’s True Form

Wonderful Day

Crispy Crispy, Crunch Crunch

Do you Understand?

Close friends with Bunnies

Rose Queen

Tea Party

What makes a Ninja

Sauce? Or Salt?

Come on! Eat up!

Fufufu-fufu-fufu ♪

A Racing Heartbeat! (Baku Baku Doki Doki)

1000 Days since Launch! Thank you!!

Come eat Mushrooms🍄

Date by the Sea💖

The Game is on!

Transform ♪

Shall we play in the sand together?

Lazy Summer days ~ 

Mini Summer🌻

What shall we eat next?

Can you see?

Not a Dog...?

Put some Spirit into it!

Mass Production

Who is the Fastest?

3rd Anniversary!

Came to Play

The Angels’ Meal (Part 1)

The Angels’ Meal (Part 2)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN🎃

My Liege 💖

You can’t fool me!!

A Great Trip

Happily Married Couple ❤️

I love meat

Have you been a good Kid?

Clean it Up

Evolution~

Slurp

5 rupies per cup

Won’t you come here?

Enter the Kaleidoscape

Winter Sports

Respectable Seniors

Let’s go for a Stroll

Wonderful Valentines

Mysterious...?

Children of Man

Infusing my sincere Devotion💗

Brother, What are you up to?

❤️❤️❤️ Darling ❤️❤️❤️

Friendly?

Full of Vigor

What’s inside does not change

Tadah☆

Let’s join forces

Thank you Everyone! [END]

[greensparty]

This Month In History - September

Here’s to many pop culture landmark anniversaries I’m raising a glass to this month:

Sept. 8, 1966: Star Trek premieres

In Sept. 1966, the debut episode of Star Trek premiered on NBC. Here is my piece I wrote in 2016. Happy 55th Original Star Trek!

Sept. 9, 1971: Imagine released

In Sept. 1971, John Lennon’s second solo album was released. Here is my piece I wrote in 2016. Happy 50th Imagine!

Sept. 12, 1966: The Monkees premieres

In Sept. 1966, the sitcom adventures of the made-for-TV band The Monkees premiered on NBC. Even though they were a fictional band, the group began releasing albums and the thing is, they were actually a good band. But the joy of the TV show was that it was goofy fun about the misadventures of this rock band that live together and get into shenanigans each episode. Its so crazy to think that the show only lasted two seasons. I became a fan of the show as a kid watching syndicated reruns. Happy 55th The Monkees!

Sept. 13, 1986: Siskel and Ebert and the Movies premieres

In Sept. 1986, my favorite movie review show of all time premiered! Here is my piece I wrote in 2016. Happy 35th S&E!

Sept. 17, 1991: Use Your Illusions I and II / Pretty on the Inside released

In Sept. 1991, Guns N’ Roses 3rd and 4th album was released on the same day as Hole’s debut album. Here is my piece I wrote about both albums in 2016. Happy 30th UYI 1&2 and POTI!

Sept. 18, 2001: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot released

In Sept. 2001, Wilco’s 4th and greatest album was released. They had been building up a following with their alt-country sound and after recording this album, their label Reprise refused to released it, so Wilco decided to release it themselves on their website as a free stream. A few months later they signed with Nonesuch. The irony to end all irony is that both Reprise and Nonesuch are both subsidiaries of the same label, Warner Bros. So they got dropped by one company and picked up by another...but both are the same company!?! I got this album in 2002 and it is easily the band’s best album ever. I have gotten into Wilco a lot in recent years and this is still their best. Happy 20th YHF!

Sept. 19, 1986: Blue Velvet opens

In Sept. 1986, David Lynch’s greatest film of all time was released. Here is my piece I wrote in 2016. Earlier this year I actually got to see Blue Velvet in the movie theater and it still holds up. Happy 35th Blue Velvet!

Sept. 22, 1986: Alf premieres

In Sept. 1986, my favorite TV as a tween premiered on NBC. Here is my piece I wrote in 2016. Happy 35th Alf!

Sept. 24, 1971: Electric Warrior released

In Sept. 1971, T. Rex’s 6th and best album was released. This album is ground zero for glam rock! I picked it up on vinyl as a teen as I was going through a 70s phase and loved it. “Get It On” is the big hit, but there’s so many classics on this. Happy 50th Electric Warrior!

Sept. 24, 1991: Nevermind / Blood Sugar Sex Majik released

In Sept. 1991 Nirvana’s major-label debut was released on the same day as Red Hot Chili Peppers 5th album. Here is the piece I initially wrote about Nevermind in 2011 and here is the piece I wrote about Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 2016. Happy 30th to both albums!

Sept. 28, 2001: Zoolander opens

In Sept. 2001, Ben Stiller’s wicked comedy was released. Here is my piece I wrote in 2016. Happy 20th Zoolander.

Sept. 29, 1991: My Own Private Idaho opens

In Sept. 1991, Gus Van Sant’s third film was released. The road movie about street hustlers with a unique avant-garde style was unlike anything else of its time. River Phoenix gave one of his best performances, as did Keanu Reeves. There’s a lot of images that stay with you, but the scene in the adult bookstore where all of the models on the magazine covers on the magazine rack come alive is one of the best things Van Sant has ever done! Happy 30th MOPI! 

[raeynbowboi]

Bob’s Burgers 10th Anniversary Retrospective

After ten years, Bob, Linda, and the Kids are just as delightfully wacky and endearing as they ever were, and show no signs of slowing down. So I wanted to put together an ultra mega review of the series. I’ll give an opinion on main and recurring characters, as with a cast this big, there’s been a lot of endearing characters to grace the show over the years. However, I will only be counting characters that have appeared more than once. After ten years, there’s been some real gems, and some real misfires. So, I’ll be counting down my top 10 best episodes, and the bottom 10 worst episodes. I’ll also go through as a Highlight Reel, by picking a best and worst episode of each season, as well as crowning the Best Season with the most good episodes.

Bob Belcher

Honestly, Bob was a very easy character to mess up. He’s the straight man to his wacky family’s antics. But the show does a really great job making Bob simple and lowkey without making him boring or a stick in the mud. He may be resistant to weird things, but he puts up with it anyway to make his family happy.  While he’s the serious straight man, they don’t fail to give Bob his own eccentricities and quirks that make him relatable and funny in his own way. Whether he’s making things talk, getting weirdly excited about Thanksgiving, or his awkward way of speaking, Bob is genuinely a good and relatable character. It’s also nice to see that Bob is a great husband and a loving father. He and Linda argue from time to time, but they’re not trapped in a loveless marriage for the kid’s sake like most shows. And even shows where that’s not a selling point like American Dad, Bob shows more remorse for things like forgetting their anniversary than Stan does for Francine. Bob is supportive, loving, and forgiving. Which is just amazing to watch. The times when his kids really need him, he’s there for them, and he helps them through their problems. While Bob might fight with and get mad with or annoyed by his family, Bob never treats them like people he’s stuck with. Frankly, Bob blows most animated TV dads out of the water. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stan or Francine give quiet supportive talks to Steve or Hayley ever in American Dad. Peter used to at least try to be a decent father, but now is a negligent toddler. Likewise, Homer used to be a great father who cared about his kids, but later seasons have really stepped away from the family angle the Simpsons used to have. In a sea of adult animated families that are toxic and destructive, Bob’s genuine love for his family came as a breath of fresh air.

Linda Belcher

Linda is by far the best Adult Animation TV mom there is. For one thing, she’s funnier than Francine, Lois, and Marge combined. But more importantly, she’s not the butt of the joke when it happens. I can only really remember laughing at Francine when they make dumb blonde jokes with her, but Linda’s jokes come from her character. She could have easily been the gender inverted Homer or Peter, but the writers are careful to make her gullible, trusting, and goofy without making her a moron. When the kids do something wrong, Linda busts out the tough mom act and you genuinely believe that the kids are in trouble. She’s not faking it. She’s not off in her own little world. She’s a bit of a goofy dreamer, but she’s able to be the tough disciplinarian when she needs to be. Her relationship with Bob is also better than most adult animation wives. She’s more independent than the other housewives, and even though her job is working with her husband, it never feels like it robs Linda of her own power, autonomy, and freedom. But the best thing about Linda is that I think most people can agree, she has an extremely strong and charming personality that endears us to her.

Tina Belcher

I really wish I could say I liked Tina more. She’s a creative romantic, just like me. I should love her. But her monotone deliveries and awkwardness isn’t as endearing as Bob’s. I like her better in episodes like Teen-A Witch and Broadcast Wagstaff School News where she has a bit stronger of a personality. But unfortunately, Tina is my least favorite member of the Belcher family, which isn’t to say that I hate her, she just doesn’t shine as bright as the rest of her family. She’s just not very funny or interesting on her own. But on the plus side, at least I don’t find Tina to be annoying or terrible except in the rare bad episode.

Gene Belcher

Gene is the only member of the family that can regularly get my dad to laugh, and with good reason. If he wasn’t such a well of nonsequitor punchlines, Gene would probably be the worst member of the family, but boy howdy do those random jokes pick up the slack. Gene is genuinely hilarious, even if I’d only rank him above Tina in terms of favoritism. However, I find that most Gene-centric episodes to be lackluster or below average. I think Gene’s best episode is probably Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien, but of the best episodes, none really come to mind that specifically star Gene. Gene is really better suited for a supporting role, and his times as the star showcase why comic reliefs aren’t the main character. They’re support characters for a reason. That’s not to say Gene-centric episodes are terrible. They just tend to range from about average to bad. Though Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien is a pretty good one.

Louise Belcher

Bob and Linda saved the best for last because Louise is the breakout star of the show. Funny, interesting, and the focus of many of the better episodes, Louise stands proudly on the first place podium with Linda in 2nd and Bob taking 3rd place. I think Louise’s strengths are especially due to her standoffish and naughty personality, which has lent itself to a lot of good character growth episodes. Season 10 Louise seems a lot more mature than Season 1 Louise. I think Louise works because while she does often have clever or sneaky solutions to problems, they don’t forget that she’s 9, so unlike Stewie, her age does present hurdles and barriers to her schemes and plans.

The Best and Worst of Bob’s Burgers

#10 WORST: Pro-Tiki/Con-Tiki (S6e15)

Why couldn’t Warren Fitzgerald just put that $100,000 into advertisements or to help Bob buy better equipment for his restaurant? My biggest issue with this episode isn’t the episode itself, it’s that the ending makes no sense. Warren wants to help Bob because he has a form of riches Warren lacks, and Bob doesn’t want a corporate sponsor to make changes to his brand. But why can’t Warren just give Bob the money to make choices he wants to make? They could stay as business partners, but Bob doesn’t have to sacrifice his personal vision for the restaurant. It’s just really frustrating when they’re both being too stupid and stubborn to see the obvious solution in front of their faces.

#10 BEST: Teen-a Witch (S7e03)

One of Tina’s best episodes, as someone who had a goth phase myself and dabbled a tiny amount in ‘witchcraft’, this episode brings back memories of high school and the desire to make the world what I wanted it to be. But on top of that, Tina with a backbone is when she really shines as a character, mostly because it means her humor isn’t being derived from her being awkward.

#9 WORST: Live and Let Fly (S9e05)

Mr. Frond embarrasses the kids, and they team up with Up-Skirt Kurt to get revenge against his sister and Mr. Frond. I’m not a fan of Kurt, so I already don’t care much about his feud with his sister, but I also just find the episode kind of boring. I don’t care about Kurt, I don’t care about his feud, and the kids call off their revenge, so that ends up not mattering either. Even Bob and Linda’s side plot is only middle-of-the-road quality for Bob’s Burgers.

#9 BEST: Wharf Horse/World Wharf II (S4e21-22)

The very first two-part episode Bob’s Burgers ever had, the season 4 finale is a great watching experience. It has some fun songs, funny character exchanges, suspenseful drama, and some heartfelt moments. It feels like a short movie, and that’s a good thing for a two-part episode to do. Even Fanny and Felix are interesting villains. But even after everything Felix did, I don’t find myself loathing him in later episodes, and that’s a hard thing to accomplish.

#8 WORST: Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks (S3e07)

This is the only bad Tina episode where the problem isn’t Tina herself. My biggest issue with this episode is more just the subject matter. Bob lies for insurance reasons about who was driving his car, and the entire episode is just Bob and Tina digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves. The solution to the issue is clever enough to redeem the episode somewhat, but the majority of the watching experience is just kind of an awkward dance of watching these two getting tangled up in a web of lies.

#8 BEST: The Taking of Funtime One Two Three (S9e02)

Bar none, this is the single best ‘Heist’ episode of Bob’s Burgers, and it’s kind of crazy that Bob’s Burgers has actually built a repertoire to where I can make a list of ‘heist’ episodes as an archetype. This one feels the most like an actual heist movie, and the ending is legitimately clever and unexpected. But even more than that, if you’re paying attention, you can see the twist before the characters even reveal it. That is the kind of tight writing that makes the list for best episodes.

#7 WORST: A Fish Called Tina (S10e12)

Tina spends an episode trying way too hard to make someone like her, to the point that she almost humiliates a 4th grader in public just so she can live out some fantasy. It’s really uncomfortable and sickening to watch Tina do this. This will be a recurring issue with Tina’s low-point episodes. There’s nothing fun about watching a character make a complete idiot out of themselves by coming on too strong. It even makes me groan when Kaylie shows up in another Season 10 episode because I don’t want to have to think about this awful episode.

#7 BEST: Stand By Gene (S6e12)

Something about this episode really just brings back memories of my childhood. Memories of walking through the outdoors, just exploring and wanting to find things. The characters are funny, and Bob and Linda’s relationship is put to the test. Plus, I loved that for the entire episode, you don’t know how it’ll end. It really makes this a personal favorite and one of the episodes I knew had to make it on my list.

#6 WORST: The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel (S7e13)

Linda ruins things for Tina by being an overbearing annoyance. Are you noticing a trend with Bob’s Burgers’ worst episodes? I don’t like it when good characters make complete jackasses out of themselves in the name of ‘humor’. It’s not funny. It’s annoying and makes me dislike them. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the latter half of the 2nd act and the entire third act, but Linda’s behavior just makes me cringe and ask why they had to do Linda dirty like this? It just puts me even more squarely on the side that Tina is entirely in the right and I don’t want to deal with Lind either.

#6 BEST: Broadcast Wagstaff School News (S3e12)

From Tina at her lowest point to Tina at her best, Broadcast Wagstaff School News is my favorite episode of the first 5 seasons. Tina’s funny and engaging, Gene is absolutely shining as Little Bob, and while Louise and Linda play supporting roles in this episode, they’re still funny as well. Plus, the mystery is a good one, and this episode is even referenced in later seasons.

#5 WORST: Mazel-Tina (S4e13)

Tina ruins Tammy’s birthday and steals her party. This is Tina at rock bottom. Tina is so despicable, cruel, and selfish in this episode that it reminds me that behind that creative awkward girl is a selfish brat who doesn’t care if she hurts other people if she can live out her fantasies. If other episodes didn’t rescue Tina from being so unlikable, I probably would hate Tina as a character entirely for her behavior in this episode.

#5 BEST: The Silence of the Louise (S8e02)

Movie parodies are some of the best, and The Silence of the Louise is the queen of all the movie parodies. When Mr. Frond’s therapy dolls are mutilated, and the school staff calls off the waterpark trip until the culprit is caught, Louise teams up with psycho Millie to figure out whodunnit. This is also one of the first time Millie wasn’t strictly an antagonist, and she genuinely felt like someone who could be Louise’s friend someday.

#4 WORST: Boywatch (S8e16)

Tina ruins things for other people by coming on too strong. The only reason this is ranked higher than Mozel-Tina is because in that episode, she just wanted to be at the party, and just kind of ended up as the star of the party and let it go to her head, whereas here, she is actively ruining things for other people in pursuit of her own delusions and fantasies. Tina has no desire to be a junior lifeguard, but cute boys causes her to behave like a troublemaker. She’s entirely out of character, and her teammates’ hate for her behavior is something I agree with. I don’t want to hate the main characters, so why does this show keep pushing to make Tina a nuisance who ruins experiences for other people?

#4 BEST: The Quirkducers (S7e06)

If the Silence of the Louise is the queen of film parodies, then The Quirkducers is the king. Not only is it a clever parody of The Producers, but it also has some damn good musical numbers, especially the edited end credit version. But it’s Tina’s song at the end that stands as one of my favorites of all Bob’s Burgers’ songs.

#3 WORST: Bed & Breakfast (S1e07)

If a Fish Called Tina is bad, then Bed & Breakfast is flaming garbage. Linda turns their apartment into a Bed and Breakfast, and Linda goes berserk when the guests don’t play into her expectations. This episode verges from below average to detestable as Linda goes insane and locks people in their rooms, and Louise drives a grown man to attack workers by preying on his fear. 

#3 BEST: The Hauntening (S6e03)

This is hands-down the best Halloween episode that Bob’s Burgers ever made. This show turns out some amazing holiday episodes, and this is one of the best the Belchers have to offer. I won’t dare give away anything about this episode. If you’ve seen it, you know why it’s top of the heap, and if you haven’t, then all I can say is what are you waiting for? Delayed gratification has to pay off eventually.

#2 WORST: Every Which Way But Goose (S9e14)

Tina falls in love with a goose. Who smoked crack before writing this episode, and who huffed enough paint thinner to approve this episode for production? This is the absolute dumbest concept for an episode I have ever come across. Who thought this was a good idea? I can’t even pinpoint the flaws because this entire episode is just so flawed. At least Mazel-Tina and Boywatch enrage me. This just baffles me.

#2 BEST: A Few Gurt Men (S7e11)

When Mr. Ambrose accuses Mr. Frond of stealing his yogurt from the faculty lounge, the case is brought before student court, and Louise is tasked with acting as Defense Council for Mr. Frond. One thing Bob’s Burgers does well is mysteries, and this is a good one as Louise has to figure out a way to prove Frond’s innocence. This is just an absolute personal favorite. Every character is just on point, and I get excited when the episode starts to que up.

#1 WORST: Moody Foodie (S2e07)

Did you ever want to watch the Belchers commit a felony? Then boy howdy do I have an episode for you! A picky food critic responsible for shutting down restaurants comes to Bob’s Burgers. Bob messes up the order, and a visit to the critic’s house to get him to try his burger again leads to a hostage situation with the critic tied to a chair and gagged in his own home. Words cannot describe the depth to which I hate this episode. The entire episode feels dirty and vile. I feel the need to scrub my skin raw after sitting through this episode. The instant I realize that it’s come on, I skip the the next one. I have literally only sat through this episode once. This episode disgusts me. This episode has the main character, abduct somebody in their own home. Then they take a second hostage when a mailman delivers the guy’s package. Luckily, Bob’s Burgers has a lot of good episodes to make up for this one bad egg, but this episode enrages me to the point that if the family wasn’t so charming and endearing most of the time, I might have stopped watching based just on this one episode.

#1 BEST: The Bleakening: Part 1 & 2 (S8e06-07)

The first time I saw these episodes, they played back to back without any credits in between them, and I thought it was one episode, and I didn’t even realize it was the length of two episodes. Between the amazing songs, the brain bending twists, the creative creature, the dark elements that contrast the bright lights of the holidays, and the uplifting ending, this pair of episodes stands paramount as the single greatest viewing experience that Bob’s Burgers has to offer.

Favorite Friend of the Kids: Regular-Sized Rudy

First appearing in Carpe Museum, Rudy came back in The Kids Rob a Train, where he has remained a friend of the kids since. Rudy was the first to join the kids if you don’t count Andy and Ollie who seem to dip in and back out as to whether they’re included in the friend group. Rudy was thus the first to be made a main member of the kids’ friend group.

Favorite Schoolyard Seven: Jocelyn

The Schoolyard Seven is the friend group of the three Belchers, Jimmy Jr., Zeke, Tammy, and Jocelyn. Not counting the Belchers, it was a close call between Zeke and Jocelyn. Tammy and Jimmy Jr. tend to be typecast as serving one niche thing, but Zeke and Jocelyn are often the comedic gold. However, while Zeke is more interesting of the two, I just enjoy Jocelyn too much to not give her the win. Even if Jocelyn’s humor is just a walking dumb blonde trope, like Gene, Jocelyn has a knack for funny one-liners. If the groups has another name, I’m not privy to it.

Favorite Friend of the Family: Micky

Though he’s less connected to the family now, Micky has been a friend to the Belchers since Bob Day Afternoon, and returning in Bob Fires the Kids. Since his introduction, Micky has gotten a job at Wonder Wharf, where he has remained since.

Favorite Recurring Villain: Logan Bush

First appearing in Ears-y Rider, Logan has been a fun and interesting frenemy for Louise to match wits with. In a show where most other villains are the same age as the main characters (Millie, Tammy, Chloe, Jimmy Pesto, Hugo) Logan stands out as a legitimate bully. Yet, even he was willing to work with Louise in Mother-Daughter Laser Razor, showing that there is wiggle room for the two of them to even join forces and spread havoc together.

Favorite Tina Love Interest: Duncan

Earnest if not a little awkward, Duncan seems like a sweet boy for Tina to possibly end up with. Sasha Whiteman is another character I could easily see being a good boyfriend to Tina because his quick wit and social graces make him a great foil to Tina, and he excels where Tina falls short. Zeke has a good chance to be a good boyfriend, but Tina still spits his name when she greets him, so I doubt she’d take interest in him unless something happens to change their dynamic. I liked Josh, but now that he’s said he doesn’t like her anymore and she agreed that she feels the same, I doubt we’re going to see them date further in the future.

Favorite Side Character: Nat Kinkle the Limo Driver

First appearing in Season 8 episode 8 V for Valentine-detta, I must not be the only fan of Nat’s because she made two appearances in the 10th season, in episode 1 The Ring (But Not Scary) and episode 17 Just the Trip. Currently with only 3 appearances, she’s still only a side character, but I get the feeling that like with Rudy, Courtney, Darrel and Alex before her, Nat will keep becoming a more frequent character. She just has a great vibe, and her charisma is intoxicating. She meshes great with the family, making her an absolute delight to watch.

Favorite Bit Character: Marshmallow

Although she’s appeared in multiple episodes since her introduction in Sheesh, Cab Bob, Marshmallow has never gotten much more than a couple lines, with her biggest role being in The Bleakening where she had more to say. She was also the first major LGBT+ recurring character on the show, which also made her a joy to see, whenever she returned to Bob’s Burgers.

Favorite Headcanon: Gene is Genderfluid

Gene’s jokes have been centered on his gender or sexuality since the first season finale. A joke once in a while is one thing, but ten years of the same sorts of jokes tells the sharp viewer that there’s more to it than just a running gag. With how many jokes have Gene talk about having boobs, synching his cycle, or calling himself Tina and Louise’s sister or Bob and Linda’s daughter, it’s my opinion that Gene is genderfluid, or possibly even transgender. The only reason I say genderfluid over a transgirl is because he still also addresses himself as a boy or a man as much as he does girl jokes.

Best Song: Twinkly Lights (Ms. XXX-Mas)

Not only does Toddrick Hall absolutely kill this performance, but I also love the meaning of the song about POC inclusivity and pride in the LGBT+ community. As the final song in The Bleakening, it’s one hell of a closing number, and I can’t help but dance in my seat whenever it plays. I’ve even listened to it independent from watching the show, and honor I don’t bestow on every song.

Best Episode Archetypes:

The Best Heist: The Taking of Funtime One Two Three

The Belcher kids have stolen a number of things. Chocolate, a bounce house, but the absolute creme de la creme of their heists is the procuring of the Dunebuggy from Family Funtime. When Family Funtime unplugs the macchines whenver the kids get too many tickets from them, the kids decide to pull off the heist of a century to make off with the biggest prize of the arcade: the dune buggy.

The Kids Tell An Anthology: Moms, Lies, and Videotapes

From the Gayle Tales to The Handyman Can, the kids have told a number of anthology stories, but the most impressive of the bunch is their stories of the mother’s day plays into three interesting stories. Though true to form, Gene’s is the weakest of the three, as his usually are. I don’t recall any time when his anthology was the best of the kids’, but then, Gene is not the most creative of the three children. His best story is probably in The Frond Files where his story’s world is colorful and fun to observe.

Best Musical Episode: The Bleakening

Not only do these episodes have a lot of musical numbers, but there is not a single one that doesn’t hit a home run. But more importantly, the entire episode is a musical, with each number helping to tie and bridge together the narrative, which is the entire purpose of musical numbers in a proper musical, which makes this the single best musical episode mainly because it’s the only episode that’s a true blue musical.

Best Holiday Episode: The Hauntening

With The Bleakening already taking the top spot for musical episodes, that leaves the Miss Congeniality of the holiday episodes to take the crown. I didn’t spoil anything about this episode above, and I won’t say a thing about it now. This episode is solid gold.

Best Film Parody: The Quirkducers

Not only is this episode clever in the way it uses its source material, but the family all have moments to shine despite the stars being Louise and Gene. The show also makes good use of the Schoolhouse Seven (the main group of the Belcher Kids, Jimmy and Zeke, and Tammy and Jocelyn), and each of them brings something great to the episode. It undoubtedly earned its place in the top 10, and will likely hold its place for years to come.

[tuffduff]

Road to Being Gone (Nikki Sixx x Reader x Izzy Stradlin)

Pairing: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Izzy Stradlin x Reader

Words: 2,046

Request: @harryroger12 “Hey I was wondering if you could do a nikki imagine where he cheats on the reader and years later like in 89 he sees her dating Izzy Stradlin and sees how happy her and Izzy are and gets jealous. Sorry did bothering you ❤️”

A/N: Okay, don’t get it twisted; I love me some Nikki too. I definitely don’t harbor any ill feelings towards him, it’s all fiction :) Thanks for the request love, you’re never a bother! ❤️

Taglist: @ubernoxa​ ❤️

“Nikki?” This was the 3rd place you had checked tonight—catering—and you were only met with negative shakes of heads and various clueless looks.

Nikki was your boyfriend of almost a year (in fact, you had saved up almost enough to buy him a new bass for your upcoming anniversary) and you had joined him on the Girls, Girls, Girls tour. At first, things had been an exhilarating whirlwind, but lately, Nikki had been distant. He had been all about you at the beginning of the tour, never leaving your side, exploring new cities together and waking up in new hotel rooms…now you were lucky if he came back to your room at all at the end of the night.

Of course, he and his band partied and drank and whatnot; you knew what you had signed up for. It wasn’t like you condoned it, but what exactly could you do? At least there was never a lack of love or devotion. Or so you thought.

“Oh! Tommy, Vince—have you guys seen Nikki?” You were relieved at the sight of two of Nikki’s band mates, but quickly grew confused by the looks they exchanged with each other.

“Tommy, have you seen him? Ah…sorry, Y/N, I haven’t seen him all night.” Vince said, not looking you in the eye.

“Have you tried catering?” Tommy suggested. The both of them were trying to walk away slowly.

“Yeah. That’s where I’m coming from, I just can’t find him.”

“Sorry, Y/N. We haven’t got a clue.” Vince said. You sighed a little to yourself as they walked away, crestfallen and truthfully uncertain of where to go now.

“It’s probably none of my business but…” You jumped at a voice behind you and turned, noticing Izzy Stradlin leaning against the wall. He and his band, Guns N’ Roses, were supporting Motley Crue on this leg of the tour. Izzy was an interesting guy, kind of a mystery; the two of you had never even had a conversation until now, you were surprised he even knew who you were. “They’re lying to you.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked, the tiniest pit of worry developing deep in you stomach.

“Have you tried Vince’s dressing room?” He replied, matter-of-fact seriousness on his face. You frowned a little to yourself.

“No. I checked Nikki’s dressing room, why would I check Vince’s?”

“It’s not like he would be somewhere you could find him.”

“And why wouldn’t he?” Izzy looked down a little, shielding his face from yours. “What are you trying to say? Do you know something I don’t?”

“Unfortunately.” He murmured, pulling out a cigarette and walking the few paces to stand at your shoulder. “Guys talk, sometimes too much. You hear a lot. And I just have a problem with guys disrespecting a beautiful good girl who doesn’t know any better.” You blinked, confused with every word that came from his mouth.

“I need you to be really clear with me,” you began slowly. He blew out smoke, a grim look on his face as he jerked his head.

“I can show you better than I can tell you.”

And that’s how you caught your boyfriend in the act with some groupie who had managed to get backstage. You screamed, you cried out of both anger and betrayal, but the worst part was how Nikki hardly seemed to care. He let you walk away without so much of a word, he merely waved his hand at you dismissively, as if you were complaining over him not taking out the trash. It was like you never knew him and everything suddenly felt very foreign. A mix between what was once familiar suddenly being lost, like losing the ground beneath your feet.

You made your way back to his dressing room to gather your belongings and get the hell out, halfway blinded by tears, but you could tell Izzy was still behind you, offering no words.

“Why are you still here, do you want some kinda tip or something?” You snapped at him. “You probably think I’m stupid as fuck, just like the rest of them. I bet they’ve known for months now. My mom even tried telling me, I would just tell her ‘no, mom. Not Nikki. He isn’t like the rest.’” If you were more aware, you would have been embarrassed by your lack of filter to someone who was practically a stranger. To Izzy’s credit, he listened sympathetically, letting you get it all out. “God…I’m so stupid. To think he could actually love someone like me.”

“Hey,” you were surprised when Izzy spoke up sharply. He made his way over to where you were crumbled on the ground and knelt down beside you. “You’re not stupid for thinking that. You’re not stupid for hoping that, for wanting that. You should expect that. And that’s his fault for not living up to it. You’re an amazing woman, you shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.”

“You don’t even know me,” you whispered in despair, a few stray tears still slipping down your cheeks. To both your surprise and fascination, you watched a strange pink color flood his cheeks as he chuckled awkwardly and looked to the ground.

“Yeah, I know.” He muttered, peeking up at you through his hair. “But I wish I did.”

It took you a long time to get over your initial shock and heartbreak. It took you even longer to get rid of that moment with Izzy, and soon, he was all you thought about. And right when you thought you were going crazy, dreaming of some strange and maybe a missed connection, you got a phone call.

“Is this Y/N?”

“This is she, who’s this?” You heard a relieved and breathless laugh on the other end.

“It’s really you; man, you wouldn’t believe the detective work I’ve had to do just to get your number. I didn’t even know your last name. All I knew was Y/N. I’ve been trying to find you since the last night I saw you.” You felt your breath catch in your throat.

“Izzy?” You asked, hearing him laugh a little again.

“I even had the guys in my band helping me.” You smiled a little, already melting a bit inside. How many times had you dreamed of this? “How have you been doing? I know it’s rough after a break-up, I was hoping you weren’t taking it too hard.”

It was a surprise. Truthfully, you had been expecting him to ask you out immediately, but he hadn’t. You would’ve said yes too, but he was more focused on your well-being.

“I’ve been great, actually. I mean, it was hard at first. I think the worst part was him making me doubt myself, you know? Sometimes I would catch myself wondering why I wasn’t enough, but I knew when I did that I was being stupid.”

“It had nothing to do with you. Like I said, some guys just don’t know what they have in front of them.” You nodded to yourself on the line, tangling the cord between your fingers and feeling butterflies beginning to flutter in your stomach. “You know, for the record, I didn’t like being that guy. But I wasn’t about to let you keep thinking he actually cared when he didn’t. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I never got to say thank you.” You murmured. Suddenly, you could feel your heart pounding and you held onto the cord tighter. “Listen…I know you’re probably really busy, but…if you ever have free time, I’d really like to see you.” You cringed, thrown off by your spontaneous wave of bravery.

The line was silent for a while and you almost hung up out of the crippling embarrassment. “Are you asking me on a date?” He finally asked. You swallowed, trying to cure your dry throat.

“I-If you want it to be.” You replied shakily. “I mean, I, you know, we can be just friends if you prefer, if you’re not interested—”

“Woah, woah.” You heard him cut you off with a soft laugh that made the butterflies grow stronger. “I’d really like that. I’m almost kind of relieved, I was thinking about asking you, but I just thought it would be a dick move, and I wasn’t really sure if you were ready for that…I was prepared to wait.” Your heart soared and you knew you were already on the road to being gone, lost in this wonderful man.

“I don’t want to wait anymore.”

The both of you clicked immediately and suddenly everything in your life made sense, why it had all happened with Nikki, what a real, healthy, relationship was supposed to be like, not one built on flimsy infatuation and illusions. You and Izzy took it slow, but it was an unspoken agreement between the two of you that you were both already deeply in love, despite not even saying it for months. You waited for the butterflies to go away, but they never did; you had never been so happy.

Fast forward two years and people closest to you wouldn’t stop asking when you were going to get married, when were you going to have kids…You and Izzy even bought a house together with more rooms and space than you needed; a promise for your future family. He had even quietly given you a ring, another promise for your future.

You had accompanied Izzy to the VMA’s in 1989, and had the pleasure of watching him perform from backstage, glowing with pride, when you heard your name from behind you.

“Y/N?” It was an old voice that brought familiarity you didn’t want to remember. You never expected to face Nikki again. He looked so different—sober, you realized. More tattoos, a healthier glow to his skin, and a bright look in his clear eyes at the sight of you.

“Oh…hi, Nikki.” You murmured uncomfortably. Nikki stepped towards you as though he were in a daze, eyes quickly filling with a million questions.

“You look great,” he breathed, before he chuckled awkwardly. “I, uh…would offer you a hug but maybe I should offer you a free punch. I know I was a real dick to you.”

“Yeah.” You muttered. “It’s fine, Nikki, really. It’s in the past…” You replied, glancing back towards the stage.

“It isn’t fine, Y/N. I wasn’t in the right state back then. I was in denial; I had no idea how bad I had gotten. And I didn’t even realize how good I had it when I had you, but when I did, it was too late.”

“There’s no hard feelings.” You told him again, dismissively.

“I just want to apologize. You didn’t deserve any of that. I was so stupid, Y/N.”

“To be honest with you, Nikki, I’ve moved on already. I haven’t really given it much thought, so it’s all cool now.”

“You’ve moved on…?” He trailed off when his eyes landed on Izzy, returning to your side finally from the stage. Izzy hadn’t yet noticed Nikki and wrapped an arm around your shoulder and placed a kiss to your head.

“Ready to go, babe?” He asked you, slightly stiffening when he caught sight of Nikki.

You watched Nikki suddenly get the picture, his eyes landing on the ring you wore on your wedding finger and back up to Izzy’s arm now wrapped protectively around your waist. It was the first time you had ever seen pain in his eyes, the first time Nikki Sixx ever gave proof he had a heart.

“Ah…” Nikki muttered curtly, looking Izzy up and down. For a moment, you held your breath, waiting for him to cause a scene. You could tell he was fighting some inner battle in his head, weighing his options. Finally, he started stepping back and took one last look at you. “...Guess I get it now. Well, it was nice seeing you, Y/N.” He murmured, uncharacteristically humbled as he walked away, still casting a look over his shoulder at Izzy who remained unbothered.

“What’s he talking about?” Izzy asked you curiously. You let out the breath you had been holding and leaned up to kiss his lips.

“That I deserved better and finally got it.”

[letsperaltiago]

we'll turn this better thing to the best

HAPPY MAY 15TH, EVERYONE!

Prompt #57: "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"

This is just me not being able to resist writing something about Jake and Amy celebrating (or trying to) their 3rd anniversary as a married couple. This is also me, yet again, beating around that smut-bush, huh??:))

Or 

Jake and Amy try to have a sexy anniversary-morning, but Mac Santiago-Peralta has other plans 

Read here or on ao3!

Nothing could ever come close to beating, even marginally, waking up to Jake Peralta already having his arms around middle in the lulling position that was spooning the length of her body like a perfectly fitting puzzle piece: a leg nudge in between hers while the other wrapped around them and his fingers mindlessly playing with the hem of her shirt. 

The appreciation for the current state they were in was especially appreciated and heartwarming when it was taken into consideration that there’d been multiple, horrible parts of their timeline where he hadn’t been around to do so.

Everything from the sudden chaos of being sent into WitSec with Holt to him and Rosa being falsely convicted were periods they both tried to not think of and dwell on. But of course, given the powerfull impression these times in their lives had made on them, it was sometimes hard not to compare; hard not to feel that much better simply because Jake was around and not taken from her anymore. They always made sure to appreciate the other, even during eventual fights or disagreement, and if they had to say one “positive” thing about the involuntary distance WitSec and prison had forced upon them it was that it had definitely only made them grow even fonder and stronger.

So this year, another year of waking up in his arms on what she knew was an extra special day, she obviously felt crazy butterflies zooming around her belly and snuggled back closer into his hold on her with still closed eyes and a tiny content smile on her face.

This year’s anniversary had to be enjoyed for its small, tiniest moments, she knew. There was no time nor energy, they’d agreed, for grand gestures and outings when this May 15th all at once held the same special sentiment as previous year yet also a completely new range of feelings.

Today, for the past three years, May 15th had been a special date which held a dear place in both Jake and Amy’s hearts as it reminded them of the day that sealed their love for eternity. Although this year, their third anniversary, May 15th 2021 to be exact, was simply a tiny bit more special than usual: this year they weren't just the two of them - this year they had a teeny tiny son and he was as soft and sweet as he was time-craving and a tiny character of his own. Especially on a day like today, filled with an extra dash of love and reflecting upon the past, life before Mac seemed vaguely blurred: not in a bad way per se, just not as perfectly chaotic and wonderful as now that Mac Peralta was around.

Amy, still somewhat half-sleeping, quietly relished in her husband’s affectionate embrace and in the thought of having her entire world, Jake and baby-Mac, within the four walls of her home on a special day like this, but nonetheless also made sure to give some extra appreciation to the fact that Mac had been sleeping since she last fed him before bed last night. Considering the intense teething period he was currently going through that was truly a miracle she did not dare to fully believe in, but perhaps, just maybe, her little one could sense that it was mommy and daddy’s day today.

The feeling of her husband switching a bit in his spot against her back paired with a pleased sigh caught her attention hinting at the fact that he was surely somewhat awake, and though Amy wanted him to enjoy the tiny amount of sleeping in Mac they were currently offered, she also happened to crave his woken presence, deep brown eyes and loving smile.

“Happy 3 years of childish, distracting marriage…” as if on cue, having read her thoughts, Jake mumbled tiredly into the back of her head before reposition himself closer to have his head rest in the crook between her shoulder and neck nuzzling his nose tiredly into the side of her face.

Gosh, she loved him so much it still, even after 6 years together, came crashing down on her like a huge wave of giddiness and first date-feelings. She smiled to herself at his congratulations. “Dito. It’s been 3 great ones, huh?”

“It has..,” He yawned loudly, “… Especially when our son decides to sleep in like this.”

“Especially then, yes,” she huffed out a small laugh sharing the sentiment even though the fact that her baby very rarely needed night feeds anymore also meant he was growing up - too fast, if you asked her. Her barely 7-month old was wonderful and both parents had the time of their lives watching him grow up. Yet it was no lie that from time to time it’d hit Amy just how fast, almost by the day, her son grew, learned a new skill and became more of a an actual person. Sometimes even to an extent where it’d overwhelm her leaving her feeling borderline… sad? Even though it had been exhausting for the first few months, and still was from time to time, she also now kinda missed the little things like the ritual of breast-feeding. She loved sleep but loved the primal, instinctual feeling of nursing her son, even more the closeness that came with it, more.

“What time is it?”

Jake’s groggy voice snapped her out of her tumbling train of thoughts and forcing her to open her eyes to check the clock on her night stand.

“6 AM which means-“

Jake knew what his wife was about to say, but beat her to it and changed then and there somewhat narrative of their morning.

“Mac should be waking up anytime soon, I know but, babe, let him stay in bed till he asks to be picked up… Perhaps this is the morning we get lucky?”

Amy wanted to question what exactly that was supposed to mean but he beat her to it an said question was quickly answered by her husband’s warm lips sending thrills down her spine with the way they gently placed small, tender pecks to where his head had previously rested. Immediately she felt her body perk up in reaction to this and the heavy, tired feeling from before was gone within a matter of pecks. Alas, in the back of her mind, Amy knew and was still somewhat aware of three things:

One: where she wanted this to go

Two: where this could take them

Three: where her son was sleeping just 20 feet from their bed

“Jake,” the full-on whine that came out of her as provoked directly by his kisses was ascribable to two facts:

Firstly that, yes, she of course reacted by the book to her husband’s touches. But also, secondly, and if not more realistically, the fact that their sex-life had definitely simmered down for the past months - that’s what having a baby will do to you - and that it really didn’t take much for either of them, even less than before, to get foolishly, easily impassioned by the other’s intimate cues. One kiss, just a bit deeper than the casual peck, was apparently enough to throw all sense of control out the window.

If they used to be turned on by the other as effortlessly as faucets then they could now definitely be compared to gardens hoses playfully twisted by a kid’s hand as to block the water surge: bu with one move, the letting go of the hose, the water flow would pick right up where it’d been blocked within a matter of milliseconds and there was no stopping the powerful rush.

By then his hands, having previously rested on the soft remains of her baby bump that she tended to feel insecure about but he, on the other hand absolutely loved, had moved up under her night shirt only to continue to her breasts which definitely didn’t help her stay cool in the moment.

“Babe… ” she whined again even though she also definitely did not put  up her strongest fight: she loved nursing her son, and although the two matters were far from comparable, she would also be the last one to complain about Jake benefiting from her breast in… other ways.

“… Mac is in the room.”

“We can be quiet,” his pecks had evolved into love bites and passionate suckles the minute his hands made their way under her shirt, and by now it seemed like they’d reached the point of no return - sleeping baby son only feet away and all.

“You know we can’t,” she breathed heavily voicing her gradual subjection to the development of the moment while simultaneously trying to stay aware of her surroundings. Alas in vain and only to come to terms with having miserably, doubtlessly failed the second Jake managed to flip her to her other side thus enabling him to push her onto her back and using his weight kiss her even more deeply than before.

“Well…” he chuckled allowing himself a short break from her lips to speak although, obsessed and addicted, making sure to pick up where he left up as soon as his talking allowed a natural pause.

“… Either that or we’ll have to explain to our baby son why mommy and daddy were making weird noises in bed.”

“Jake!” she exclaimed at this statement, the hypothetical scenarios in her head getting too real, causing Jake to react right away by pulling away using his arms to hover his weight over her thus allowing her some space and them to look get a proper look at each other.

Suddenly his before aroused expression was replaced by a note of concern in both his eyes and voice. “I’m so sorry! We can totally stop if you don’t want to go any further. I didn’t mean to cross a line.”

Amy herself paused momentarily, mostly out of surprise since their mutual consent, after having been in a relationship so long, was rarely explicitly verbalised: generally being very attentive of the other during sex and knowing the other’s body and signals so well they could easily tell when to stop and when to move forward. Unless they were straight up experimenting and treading unknown land, their intimate moments had rarely to never caused this kind of sudden halts. So seeing this extra considerate side of her husband, although she never doubted that it was there to make her feel safe, made her heart flutter momentarily reminding her of the feeling of Mac’s tiny kicks inside her womb months ago.

“Hey, don’t worry,” she reassured him by reaching up to run her fingers through his curls aka. an attribute of Jake’s which their son (to her very immense satisfaction) had inherited. “I know you meant well and I didn’t mean to proclaim like that,” she made sure to throw on her warmest smile and eyes to reassure him. “I was just being weary of Mac, but I think I need to allow myself some…not very mommy-like pleasure.”

He smiled letting her speak out.

“Also I just, like completely out of nowhere, remembered reading this article pointing out that babies this young won’t actually… ” she tried to form her point in her mind whilst her husband looked at her with an amused smile on his face “… like, they won’t be affected by it so, I guess we could…”

How come she all of the sudden, as a woman in her late 30s, suddenly felt like a silly teenager when talking about something as natural to them as sex?

“Honey,” he disrupted her internal spiralling running a hand through her hair the way she’d so lovingly done just seconds ago. He trailed and picked at it where was spread out across her pillow with his fingers as his amused grin took on a more comforting nature. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, okay? Today’s date, and the fact that your butt will forever be the bomb, just got me caught up in the moment. But I totally get it if you feel weird doing anything with Mac around and you shouldn’t have to compromise that - even for me. It’s more than okay,” he lowered himself to peck her forehead before refocusing on her face and what she was about to say.

And how she loved him even more for always taking into consideration her feelings and reactions, even after 6 years together, but something about his strong arms flexing under his weight on either side of her head, his ruffled-up curls and already saturated, glowing even, pink lips made something in the back of her mind click. She quickly did the math in her head:

Mac was still an infant lacking anything near the ability to understand the nature of the sounds his parents were making and the concept of sex. He was feet away, safe in his crib with no direct outlook on them, and all of this was not even taking into consideration that he was still fast asleep. It was now or never - or so it felt like.

“Jacob Santiago-Peralta,” her eyes suddenly switched to a shade of dark, almost black, brown Jake hadn’t seen in quite a while immediately causing more than just his eyes to bulge. “We’re definitely inaugurating our third year as a married couple and we’re doing it now.”

And seeing a more than convincing look on his wife’s face Jake didn’t have to be told twice before crashing their lips together, resuming him repositioning himself between his wife’s thighs to give her sacred body, the one that carried their son for 9 months, the love it so very much and rightfully deserved.

Within minutes the very limited pieces of clothing they slept in were discarded, thrown carelessly onto the bedroom floor as if they were discovering each other for the first time, and after a reasonable amount of foreplay (mostly timewise since Mac waking up was just a matter of minutes) Jake painted a trail of sloppy kisses along his wife’s sleek collarbone as he, after a lot of shifting and moving around during preceding sexy actives, repositioned himself one last time.

Under the weight and spell of his naked body, physically and metaphorically,  Amy was desperately writhing having thrown all sense of control and modesty out the window a long time ago and grasped onto his upper back in a demand for more and an urge she’d put aside so many times these past months for the sake of dedication to being a mother.

“God, please don’t laugh at me when I definitely, ‘cause I will, finish within 5 minutes,” she finished her sentence with a moan as he bit down on the skin spurring her collar bones. Perhaps 5 minutes was even an optimistic exaggeration when her body already felt on the urge of exploding and he hadn’t even entered her yet.

She could tell her very honest comment earned her a soft chuckle, but she was too far gone and caught up in a whirlwind of pleasure to care plus, even if it would only last minutes, she just needed her husband inside of her now.

“5 minutes sound incredible, Ames,” he breathed out frankly not even minding the fact that their before very vigorous stamina had definitely gone downhill since having Mac. Instead he simply appreciated his favorite feeling in the world which, since the day he got to feel it for the first time, was the one of Amy Santiago wrapped around him.

Though he would never give it up permanently for anything in the world, even incredible sex with his incredible wife, he was just as excited as her to slip out of his father-role for what would probably end up being just a matter of 20 minutes in total or so. He was breathing heavily, growling, as he redirected his lips to hers where he hoped to, although the method had been proven faulty before, quell her upcoming sounds of pleasure.

“I love you,” she claimed out of breath bracing herself for the wonderful stretch she knew was approaching by the second.

“Love you too,” he sloppily replied between kisses. “So much,” was added in closing of the exchange of words of love as he braced and steadied himself for the initial thrust.

Then, planted so horribly perfectly that they could’ve sworn they were taking part in a movie, a cry cut through the thick intimate tension without delay bursting the bubble Jake and Amy had formed around themselves in the heat of the moment.

Becoming a parent came with the incredible ability to completely switch your focus within matter of seconds and thus react to whatever need your baby called out for. Right then and there was a perfect example, and though picking up where they’d come to, which was so close, seemed dangerously tempting they both knew there was no way they were actually going there.

They were a married couple wanting to celebrate each other and their love, yes, but first and foremost, even more importantly, they were parents.

Jake carefully bent his arms not needing the leverage anymore and lowered himself onto his wife before rolling onto his back besides her. Both started blankly into the air for second, almost unknowingly recreating the scene after their first time together, not saying anything but burning with repressed lust on the inside.

Then they broke into a collective chuckle.

Amy turned onto her side to look at her husband’s profile, taking it in before he imitated her action and they were left staring into each other’s eyes with knowing, amused expressions.

This was really their life now and though not always as easy as being “just married” it was definitely the life they’d always wished for and felt blessed to have. The irony of it all which existed in the clash between their love and physical yearning for each other, and their shared responsibility and love for their son, interruptions considered, was all at once humorous and tragic. But even then they had no doubt in their minds: their love for each other was unbreakable and celebrating their three years of marriage with their so very loved son interrupting much needed sex was still collectively considered somewhat perfect.

Nothing could ever take away the melting feeling she still got whenever Jake looked at her like he did now, so calm and in love, and knowing he now also shared that look with their son still reminded her of a surreal, perfect dream. He had so much love for the both of them: so much that she was sometimes convinced of the fact that it couldn’t be real. But then times like these reminded her of the fact that it was indeed very much so and that she would marry him all over again if she was given the chance.

The fussy sounds coming from the crib increased by the second and Jake knew that the second either of them decided to get up for their son, which would be sooner than later, this tiny bubble of an amorous moment would be gone. And so he decided to just go with what felt appropriate because, really and truly, looking at her right now he felt as if he could marry her all over again.

“I know our baby is screaming for attention, and that he needs it more than me and that this is probably a bad time but… marry me?” He smiled widely running a hand through her tousled hair earning him a just as wide smile of appreciation and adoration back.

She leaned in and offered him a kiss, long and tender but controlled as she knew she’d have to get up now. Managing to not get caught up she pulled back caressing his cheek with the hand that allowed him to feel the soft stroke of her wedding band and engagement ring.

“First I’m going to go get our son, but then…” she leaned in and gave his lips a final peck, this time withdrawing just enough to look at him but still have their noses touch before finishing what she’d started, “… Yes, I will marry you all over again, as many times as you want, every day, week, month and year, for eternity and beyond, Jake Peralta.”

[batb1tch]

It’s my boy’s birthday so here are some Jason Todd head-canons 🎉

Probably 3rd to last (Alfred and Bruce) on the list of ‘understanding internet slang’ in the household. He died and just sort of fell behind on the times (including memes, pop culture references,etc..) I know he’s known for making snarky quips and sarcastic comments but I have no doubt his siblings would call him out on his outdated references. It’s likely it’d really piss him off too like, knowledge is really everything to this kid and here he is with a group of teenagers who are always on top of shit (Steph, Tim, Duke, even Dick) and he doesn’t know what they’re talking about the majority of the time. Can’t figure out how to use Twitter or Snapchat and he does not have the patience to learn. It’s a genuine sore spot for him regardless of the humorous side.

Has an inner city accent that will never leave him. Still pronounce “on” like “awn” and frequently drops his r’s (which Bruce acts like he hates but really he finds it endearing.) Drops his “ing”s like “nothing” is “nothin.”

Fantastic chef, learned from the best. Very good at making something out of nothing and making it last. Steph has been showing him how to can things like fruit and vegetables. She’s basically just enabled his doomsday prepping behavior.

Speaking of, if you think Bruce is bad with the backup plans (yes there is always a b c d — z) where do you think Jay got it from? Absolutely anal about planning and contingencies. Has a backup for his backups.

Has a small hoard of books hidden in an end-table back at one of his safe houses. His favorite classics (mostly gifted by Bruce.)

Loves the smell of paper.

Definitely could use them but refuses to get glasses. Babs teases him for his squinting when she gets the chance.

“Just join the club book-worm, promise it won’t ruin your badass reputation.”

Jason ~squinting~ “I’d rather die....again.”

Collects cool bookmarks.

Definitely names his guns.

Favorite meal is literally any Spanish/Mexican dish followed by a good chili dog & a coke.

Can pack away enough food to feed a horse and keep going, not even Bruce knows how he does it. Alfred acts like he’s a pain in the ass to cook for but loves feeding him anyways. “You’ll eat us out of house and home someday my dear boy, good god.”

While we’re at it, he is 100% taller and wider than Bruce. You might think it makes Bruce a bit uncomfortable when standing right next to him (I mean...it does lol) but he absolutely loves when Jay throws his weight around because the malnourished string-bean of a child that he met on the street could now powerlift a small automobile and he is so fucking proud and happy that he grew up to be big and healthy (that he managed to grow up AT ALL mind you) how could he be mad? He probably tears up at the dinner table after Jay fills his plate for 4th time that evening and still intends to stay for dessert because he loVES HIM.

His feet definitely hang off the end of his bed by like, the shins because his room only has a full compared to everyone else’s king/queen. It never got upgraded when he hit puberty (because he was dead) and then he wouldn’t let anyone change it once he came back because that’s his bed “don’t fucking touch it I still fit just fine.” (Even though he’s like 22 and there’s a dip in the mattress that could put the Grand Canyon to shame.)

Still has a picture of Catherine hidden away. Visits her grave on the anniversary and always brings her favorite flowers (Lillie’s.)

His hands get cold really easily and they’re always dry/calloused.

Snores. Loudly.

The Lazarus pit did NoT heal his autopsy scar that shit is there for life and it is big and it is ugly. He doesn’t like taking his shirt off because of it and the look on Bruce’s face when he sees it could strip wallpaper.

Stopped dying the lock of white hair on his head.

Has spring allergies that turn him into a giant snotting watery eyed whiny baby.

He’s claustrophobic and not a fan of the dark. It’s why his helmet has night vision.

(While we’re at it, that helmet has to be the equivalent of like, iron mans on the inside. Definitely has built in comms, scopes, analysis systems, navigation, etc etc. the WORKS. whICH he designed and created himself because he’s brilliant.) (Actually Roy might have helped a little but don’t tell him that.)

Has a work-in-progress bike in the cave that hasn’t been finished for over 2 years and it will never be finished because he uses it as an excuse to hangout and spend time with Bruce. Drives Steph crazy to see it sit there but she gets it.

During his first Thanksgiving with Bruce and Alfred he cried for 15 minutes before dinner (which he’s still embarrassed about to this day) and then ate until he literally puked. He hasnt missed many Thanksgivings since he died.

TERRIBLE at 1st-person-shooters and super pissed about it.

“That’s not even realistic, an HK-416 doesn’t even have a 200 round drum. It’s bonkers! It’s madness Tim!”

“Shut the fuck up Jason you haven’t even been facing the right way since we started.”

(He’ll stick to Space Invaders and Mario fuck you very much.)

Really good at piano. Bruce asked him to start playing seriously when he moved in because “learning a musical instrument teaches self -discipline and versatility” but really it’s because one day during his Robin years Jay sat down and started plinking on the keys to a song he learned at the public youth-center on the “old shitty out of tune” wood one they had and it just happened to be a song Martha used to play Bruce all the time. He wanted to hear it fill the halls again.

Gets in a screaming match with Bruce nowadays and instead of lighting up one of Penguin’s underground casinos (like he might of used to 👀) he’ll disappear for a month to cool down. You can always tell when he gets over it though because he sends the family a postcard from wherever he is in the world. (Alfred puts them all on the fridge.)

Pit symptoms used to (and occasionally still do) include horrific night terrors, black-out rage, and brief moments of hallucinations or flashbacks. He had to relive the period of time shortly after he was pulled out through graphic and warped recollections (typically after not getting enough sleep or engaging in physical altercations.) He really only started to work through this after Ducra had suggested keeping a log and writing down everything he could remember. After a time he was able to piece together the things he had experienced or done (mostly to others) and as awful and horrible as knowing may have been, he could at least start to move on.

The more time he spent with Damian after he came back the more he could remember as well. He will occasionally speak to him in Arabic & not even realize he’s doing it (which scares the pants of Dames, himself, and Bruce.)

He does feel closer to the little gremlin because of it though. Talia likely had him as a baby with her the majority of the time after he was born and Jay was recovering/training, so he spent a substantial amount of time with both of them.

Bruce bought him a kindle for Christmas one of the first years he was back and he was (and still is but don’t tell the old man that) elated.

Occasionally mumbles in his sleep, usually in a variety of languages.

He does smoke, mostly only when he gets stressed out (because everyone reams him for it otherwise.) You’d think it’s a rebellious street kid thing but it’s actually because Catherine used to smoke the same brand and the smell reminds him of her.

His shoe size is a 13.

The time shortly after he crawled out of his own grave he could see ghosts (and I’m talking straight up dead people.) He can’t recall much of this or the time spent actually deceased (even after his dunk in the pit) but even now he’ll see things move out of the corner of his eye or get cold chills or feel like he’s being watched. When he hasn’t slept for like, 4 days and is bordering on manic depressive and harmful behavior, he starts seeing them again. Constantine prob finds him real interesting.

My guess is that he did see Catherine when he died but overall ended up in some sort of purgatory-like state which he can’t recall.

When he blushes it’s the hollows of his cheeks, back of the ears and neck and all the way down the front of his chest. The autopsy scar shows up white against it.

Has those hands that no matter how many times he washes them the oil/gun cleaner doesn’t come out of the cracks. Looks like a mechanic.

Tends to wear thicker work/type clothing like carhart fireproof pants and boots. Obviously his jacket too.

Not a fan of cold weather at all. His nose and cheek get really red and he shivers (as unmanly as that is)

OCD. His apartments are spotless, weapons and ammunition categorized and logged, etc.

Had asthma as a child and sort of grew out of it but sometimes his endurance suffers as an adult because of it.

Has this particular phone case 💀

[fly-pow-bye]

What’s Airing On Cartoon Network (November 2019)

The Futon Critic updated with Cartoon Network’s listings for November, featuring the return of Apple & Onion, the return of Total Dramarama, a Craig of the Creek special, and more! See it after the break!

Apple & Onion

November 2nd:

Apple's Focus - Apple helps Onion achieve his dream of competing on a baking show. Includes special guest Sue Perkins (Great British Bake Off). (9:30 AM)

Lil Noodle - Apple and Onion must remain legit enough to be in their favorite rapper's music video. Includes special guest Timothy DeLaGhetto. (9:45 AM)

Gyranoid of the Future - Apple and Onion struggle to ride Gyranoid of the Future, the craziest roller coaster at the carnival. (10:00 AM)

Fun Proof - Apple and Onion want to become this week's "Most Fun People". (10:15 AM)

November 9th:

Whale Spotting - Apple and Onion need to join an exclusive club to see a rare whale. (9:30 AM)

Heatwave - Apple and Onion try to spread cheer during a city-wide heatwave. (9:45 AM)

Apple's in Charge - Apple is put in charge of the Dollar Store for the very first time. (10:00 AM)

Burger's Trampoline - Apple and Onion must find a way to use Burger's trampoline without making him feel used. (10:15 AM)

November 16th:

Baby Boi TP - Apple needs to acquire a lifetime supply of toilet paper to finish his modern art sculpture. (9:30 AM)

Not Funny - With their 6 month friend anniversary approaching, Apple has to find a way not to lose his best friend. (9:45 AM)

November 23rd:

Onionless - Apple tries to survive a weekend alone while taking care of Onion's plant. (9:30 AM)

Party Popper - Apple and Onion's party plans are interrupted by a grumpy guest. (9:45 AM)

November 30th:

Face Your Fears - Apple and Onion must face their fears while trapped in a pet shop, so they can save French Fry from facing hers. (9:30 AM)

Apple's Short - Apple needs to be tall so that he can be in love. (9:45 AM)

Bakugan: Battle Planet

November 3rd:

Happy/One Way or Another - Happy: The AO expect a fight in Brakistan, but soon discover that old enemies Lord Brakken, Magnus, and Nillious are unnaturally happy to see them./One Way or Another: In the heat of emotions, Shun convinces Lord Brakken that his usual enemies are the best allies he has to sequester a renegade Core Cell. (7:00 AM)

November 10th:

Stormy Weather/Who Can it Be Now - Stormy Weather: On a flight to their next Core Cell mission, the AO's plane falls under attack by Pyravian, who strangely believes the team to be Bakuzon./Who Can It Be Now: The AO find themselves in a battle against the Bakuzon forces of Tiko that upends everything they thought they knew about Core Cells. (7:00 AM)

November 17th:

In My Room/An Army of Their Own - In My Room: When the AO report that they've been fighting the wrong fight, they discover that Benton has been corrupted by the villainous Tiko./An Army of Their Own: The AO are forced to turn to Philomena Dusk for help, only to realize that they have led Benton/Tiko right to the AAAnimus Campus. (7:00 AM)

November 24th:

Calling All Parents/Nowhere to Turn - Calling All Parents: When the parents of the world are turned against their children and confiscate their Bakugan, the AO must seek out the Rowdy Reds./Nowhere to Turn: While the AO attempt to gain allies and warn other children, Wynton is confronted by Armstrong Tripp, who now works for Benton Dusk. (7:00 AM)

Ben 10 (2016)

November 2nd:

My Bodyguard - When Zombozo hypnotizes Grandpa Max's entire baking class it is up to Ben and Gwen to clean up the mess, but it gets even messier when Zombozo unveils his new bodyguard: Kevin 11! (12:00 PM)

Wheels of Fortune - Team Tennyson's thrift store shopping is ruined by the latest high-speed heist of LaGrange - who is now aided by a super-fast electromagnetic racing car - and Ben must convince Kevin 11 to help stop the speed demon's globetrotting robbing spree. (12:15 PM)

November 9th:

Heat of the Moment - After Ben easily dispatches the Weatherheads, Team Tennyson travels to a ski resort for some fun in the snow but when Ben runs into the Weatherheads yet again, this time they are a force to reckon with. (12:00 PM)

Vin Diagram - When Ben sees Vin Ethanol impressed with Kevin's automotive know-how, Ben's jealousy has him convinced that he has to out-do Kevin before the older boy influences Vin to embrace his bad-guy side at a charity race. (12:15 PM)

November 16th:

A Sticky Situation - All Ben wants to do is stop Queen Bee from robbing a bank, but when Kevin shows up to try and be the hero and take all the glory himself, Ben will need to save the day twice or end up in hot honey. (12:00 PM)

What Rhymes with Omnitrix? - At a poetry slam event, Charmcaster's reading of Kevin's poetry causes magical trouble for Ben and Gwen, causing mind swaps that have everyone confused as to who's fighting who. (12:15 PM)

November 23rd:

You Remind Me of Someone - Ben and Gwen look for the infamous Bojamboo (the Bigfoot of the South) and discover that it's actually the Forgeti, at the same time as Kevin 11, but when Ben and Kevin are blasted with the Forgeti's forgetfulness mist, they reverse roles and it's up to Gwen and Max to restore them back to normal. (12:00 PM)

Adrenaland Jr. - Team Tennyson visits the safety-neutered version of Adrenaland known as "Adrenaland Jr.", only to end up facing off against a bitter Kevin 11, out to destroy everyone else's good, and safe, time. (12:15 PM)

November 30th:

Steam Fight at the OK Corral - When Kevin convinces Steam Smythe to adopt a modern approach in fighting Ben, our young hero must resort to old-fashioned thinking to save the day. (12:00 PM)

I Don't Like You - Ben and Gwen's social media battle with Kevin 11 quickly escalates into an all-out war in real life. (12:15 PM)

Craig of the Creek

November 23rd:

Craig and the Kid's Table (Half-Hour Special) - It's a Williams Family Thanksgiving, which means it's time to reunite The Kid's Table! But when Bernard accidentally destroys dessert, Craig uses the power of the Kids Table to help save his brother from certain grounding. (10:00 AM, half hour)

Teen Titans Go!

November 9th:

Teen Titans Vroom (Half-Hour Special) - In this episode of "Turbo Titans Go Force" the Titans gain the ability to transform into cars. Then, in the exciting conclusion of "Turbo Titans Go Force" the Titans must learn to work together to stop Dr. Military. (10:30 AM, half hour)

November 27th:

Beast Boy's That's What's Up - Beast Boy goes to visit the Doom Patrol. Beast Boy, Negative Girl, and Robotman discover some crabs are up to no good. Cyborg becomes inseparable from Robotman. It's time for Beast Boy to leave, but the Doom Patrol try to get him to stay. (6:00 PM)

Total Dramarama

November 2nd:

Mutt Ado About Owen - After accidentally hypnotizing Owen into being a dog, Harold thinks he must reverse the hypnosis to avoid going to jail. (9:00 AM)

Simons Are Forever - Duncan and Leshawna try to take advantage of Izzy's love for the game of Simon Says. (9:15 AM)

November 9th:

Stop! Hamster Time - Owen takes over the job of caring for the class hamster and learns that he's evil. (9:00 AM)

Driving Miss Crazy - Duncan leads Beth to believe she's broken his battery-powered bike and makes her chauffeur him around in a wagon for the day as punishment. (9:15 AM)

November 16th:

Weiner Takes All - After forgetting to book a Hot Diggity Doggity Dog mascot on National Hotdog Day, Chef tries to pass off an Australian man dressed as a kangaroo as a substitute. (9:00 AM)

Apoca-lice Now - When Chef brokers a truce with lice by selecting three kids to "host" them on their heads, Courtney instigates a kid vs. lice war. (9:15 AM)

November 23rd:

Gnome More Mister Nice Guy - When the daycare gets taken over by evil gnomes, Duncan finds himself on the wrong team. (9:00 AM)

Look Who's Clocking - When Harold's warnings not to mess with the clock go ignored, the kids are forced to save themselves when Duncan tears a hole in the fabric of time. (9:15 AM)

November 30th:

Harold Swatter and the Goblet of Flies - After finding what he believes to be a magic wand, Owen accidentally turns Harold into a housefly. (9:00 AM)

Stink. Stank. Stunk. - When a skunk comes seeking its annual revenge on Chef, Duncan sees it as an opportunity to get a vacation from daycare. (9:15 AM)

Transformers Cyberverse

November 2nd:

Spotted - As the Autobots prepare for an attack, Cheetor struggles to find his place amongst the tight-knit group. (6:30 AM)

November 9th:

Secret Science - Shockwave kidnaps Wheeljack to help the Decepticons find Starscream, but he underestimates the wily Autobot inventor. (6:30 AM)

November 16th:

Infinite Vendetta - The Autobots and Decepticons are surprised by the sudden arrival of two bots locked in a millennia long feud. (6:30 AM)

November 23rd:

I Am the Allspark - Starscream unleashes the ultimate attack on the Autobots and Decepticons. (6:30 AM)

November 30th:

Escape from Earth - The Autobots have the Allspark! Now they just have to get it off Earth. (6:30 AM)