Tumgik
#happening and they certainly dont know its affecting me so badly. but then - what do i say? how do i tell them? if i say it in a vague way
spricket-central · 1 month
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every spricket i keep has a story of how we first met: some were on my bedside table, some in my bathroom, some on a wall, so small i nearly didnt notice them...
Dirt... was eating cat puke.
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he was a young little nymph, perhaps only a month old at the time, and far from the only one id seen around recently: id seen quite a few young hatchlings around the apartment, and Dirt would be one of only two survivors during the start of what i called a "revolving door" of nymphs in my care. young sprickets are fragile little things, and they often pass without warning.
Dirt got his name fairly soon after capture. id coaxed him into the "Jr. Tube" i use to catch/relocate sprickets and placed it into his new tank so he could leave on his own when he felt ready, and when he poked his little head out and felt the substrate with his palps for the first time... he started eating it.
okay, "Dirt" it is then.
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Dirt was always a pretty chill little guy! shy, as all nymphs are, but he still had a sense of curiosity. he liked to hang out on the little climbing wall id put in his tank, sometimes even climbing all the way up to the rim of the ceiling!
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while Dirt was a young, healthy nymph, however, a couple of my other sprickets were elderly, and soon i would be stricken with grief by their passing. first came Poppyseed, a lovely little girl who id raised all the way from an egg, who was the daughter of my first ever spricket, Crouton. she died near the end of april just a month before her 1 year hatchday. about a month later, her partner Bagel followed. i was devastated, and unfortunately, my ability to care for my other lovely little bugs suffered for it. tasks got put off, and Dirt ended up staying in his tiny baby tank all the way into adulthood.
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i cant be certain about it, but i believe his growth was affected by my neglect, as Dirt ended up quite small as an adult. the tube he preferred to hide in was a bit "squashed" and cramped, so perhaps that may have been a factor? its impossible to say for sure, and i try not to beat myself up about it, but he definitely turned out pretty tiny compared to the average adult spricket.
once i was totally certain he was mature though, he would be relocated into my biggest spricket tank, and he wouldnt be alone: he would be joined by lovely lady Loofah, another newly matured adult spricket id caught as a hatchling, who was just barely younger than him (but still much larger).
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Dirt was a bit stand-offish with Loofah at first, trying to start a slap fight (which Loofah ignored, ahaha) before scurrying off, but it wouldnt be long before he returned, and their next encounter went... much differently... they mated, lol. it was the first time id actually caught a pair of sprickets "in the act."
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from that moment on, their relationship became amicable. id even say they were buddies! sprickets certainly dont form relationships in the same ways that we do, and we have no way of knowing how capable they are of bonding with one another, if they are capable of it at all, but Dirt and Loofah definitely spent a lot of time together; standing beside one another, peacefully swaying their antennae, hanging out in the egg carton together, and just generally being in close proximity. they would spend time alone too, of course, but it was still notable to me how they would often choose to mingle together.
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then one day Dirt just... declined.
it was just as unexpected as it was sudden. one day he's behaving normal and active, then the next day hes slumped over in one of the tube hides, barely alive. ive seen this sudden deterioration many times now, just before a spricket passes away, but normally happening to elderly sprickets. Dirt was only maybe 6-7 months old though; sprickets can live to be a whole year old.
i wish so badly that i could have seen Dirt grow up to be an old man alongside Loofah. he had already survived through a part of his life cycle that so many hatchlings dont make it through. id thought he was out of the woods, that hed made it, that he was set to live a long, healthy life. its a tragedy that he was robbed of it, seemingly out of nowhere. he was still so young...
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Dirt, my lil buddy, im sorry things ended so prematurely. i dont know if your small size had anything to do with it, and i hope that my negligence didnt cost you those months you shouldve had. either way, im sorry i couldnt give you 100% like you deserved, but... i hope you were happy all the same. id like to think you were.
above all, im grateful for the time we had together. when you were a tiny baby, i woke up every day not knowing if youd still be alive when i went to give everybody their daily veggies. i had no idea if youd get the chance to grow up. so many hatchlings dont, but you did it! you got to grow into a lovely young man, and to settle down with a lovely young lady! you went from eating cat barf to eating juicy veggies and tastey blood worms! you made me so happy, and i think you made Loofah happy too. even weeks later, it still feels so strange, looking into that big tank and seeing Loofah alone in there without her tiny boyfriend beside her.
i miss you, Dirt.
I'll watch over Loofah for you. ive even got some of your eggs set aside and incubating, so... who knows, i may even get the privilege of watching over your babies! i really hope so. itd be an honor.
i love you, Dirt. rest easy, and thank you for being my friend. 💚
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Dirt
2/3/2024 (caught) - 7/28/2024
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chainofdespair · 6 years
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#how do you deal with the repeated realization that you're the one who always messages first and usually messages last. and if you don't#message someone then you'll literally go months without talking until you message them again. and when you do they say they've missed you#and enjoy talking to you so it gets your hopes up. but then they make no effort to talk to you again. and when you do talk they may not even#ask anything about you or how you've been. i'm so tired of being hurt and bitter over this but it just keeps happening over and over again.#i know people drift and if im not relevant enough in their lives for them to think to message me then thats fine.#i just wish they'd come right out and say that instead of saying how much they miss me only to immedietly not reply and drop contact for#months. maybe they havent realized they're doing that? I'm not really mad at anyone but it really hurts to have this happen repeatedly and#with so many people. it just reinforces the idea that all I'm good for is some kind words vague support and hollow conversations rather than#deep friendships and it stings so much. I'm trying so hard to pull myself out of a deeply negative mindset I've been in for over a year and#a half and i just can't get past this. every time it happens it starts to drag me down and embitter me a little more and i want it to stop.#what do i do? do i bring it up to them? not in an accusatory way obviously because like i said maybe they havent even noticed that its#happening and they certainly dont know its affecting me so badly. but then - what do i say? how do i tell them? if i say it in a vague way#like oh we should talk more or hang out then they agree but - nothing ever happens. but if i try to bring up how much its been hurting me#couldnt that potentially make them feel guilty or awkward? i don't want them to feel bad because its not anyone's fault. i'm just tired of#feeling irrelevant until i can be used. or not even then sometimes. should i bring up how this sparce communication is negatively bothering#me? should i stay quiet and just try to get to a point where it doesn't bother me? but - i really don't want to keep drifting from these#people even naturally. how do i get to the point where i can message them or even not talk to them at all without it bothering me if they#dont attempt to contact me or ask how i am? I'm just...stuck. i dont know how to bring up difficult things and it would ptobably seem to#them like it came out of the blur since i never talk about my feelings - which is my fault - and it also might make them feel bad which i#dont want. but i dont know how to emotionally be okay with silent acceptance of further drifting either. ahh#i'm just not sure what to do. sorry for venting. i really want to be a more positive person. stuff like this just weighs on me...#nobody mutters aimlessly
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sxfik · 3 years
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I have an idea!
Ok so we all know that Hanseo is abused by his big brother, and if i remember correctly, the jipuragi trio found out about it from the guillotine file for the first time.
Now hear me out, what if the jipuragi trio found out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, not from the guillotine file??
After failing to burn down geumga plaza, Hanseok threw that object at Hanseo, telling him not to dodge it, and it left a scar on his forehead. When Hanseo visited jipuragi, he seemed proud of that scar, right?? Because thats what he got from saving geumga plaza, and he hoped that the scar would show them that he wants to be on their side.
BUT lets forget about all those stuff for a moment.
Hanseok loves to strangle, threaten, and hit Hanseo with the hockey stick. It certainly happens more than once, so i figured that there must be a bunch of scars and bruises on his body right?? What if the jipuragi trio noticed one of his scars/bruises?? I know Hanseo always wear long-sleeved stuff, so its not exactly visible, but what if someone caught a glimpse of it??? Perhaps the scar/bruise was on his arm???
Maybe when Hanseo visits jipuragi, Vincenzo asks him to wash some coffee mugs, and as Hanseo is rolling up his sleeves...
"yo whats that on your arm??"
And maybe Hanseo is like "thats a bruise..? Do you not know what a bruise is??"
Okay, idk. I have no idea how he's gonna react if that happens. I just feel like Hanseo wouldnt be proud of his scars if he didnt get them from trying to save geumga/jipuragi people.
And now im just wondering, what do you think? How would Hanseo react, in your opinion? If the jipuragi trio really did find out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, how would that affect their relationship? Im really curious about what you think
Hhhhhhhh sorry if its too long. I just thought that this might be a good way for Hanseo and jipuragi to kinda get closer with each other...
han seo headcanons (part one)
helloooo, thank you for sending an ask in :D
SORRY this answer is super long and for some reason my phone isn't allowing me to add a keep reading cut thingy, apologies in advance to the amount scrolling you have to do
tw: abuse
i've been thinking so much about this ask and just how han-seo would react to them finding out, and honestly i never really took note of how many long sleeved shirts he wears. i believe han-seok has switched a lot more into emotional manipulation and abuse than physical abuse but he has a lot of anger issues. i'd honestly imagine him using han seo as a punching bag for any and every inconvinence that happens to him, even as an intern.
i also agree with you, han seo is someone who is a very bright personality who tends to hide his hurt and emotions, and he's very very good at it as he has been living under a psychopath his whole life. he's good at hiding his anger (although it definetly bubbles over in smaller outbursts) and especially his hurt (i.e. the scene that han seok throws that candle holder at him and he just smiles back). han seo has a lot of anger at himself for not speaking back or being able to act like himself. like in that scene in the office, you can tell as he curls his fist that he wanted to speak back so badly. even when he finally snaps against han seok, he said "i'm getting tired of being afraid of you." i feel like he'd be embarrassed that even after years, he hasn't been able to escape his abuse
next>
(you can also read the following on ao3)
i feel like this scene and their dynamic would play out something similar to this:
han seo joined the team and has been working with vincenzo and cha-young for around a month. at this point han seo isn't walking on eggshells with both of them, he's a lot more comfortable and visiting their office regularly without choi/han/han seok finding out.
sometimes it's vincenzo and cha-young providing him books to study economics from, maybe even giving some brotherly/sisterly advice to him. every couple weeks, vin and cha-young give him quizzes and slowly, he's getting better and better
over time, he even got closer to the plaza residents (even though the residents were definetly cold to him in the beginning, miri scaring the shit out of him by doing her ghost thing, the lady with the lipstick from bye bye balloon staring him down, snack bar lady refusing to serve him, larry also scaring the shit out of him by doing his zombie routine)
but despite this, they adopt him into their family, han seo doing small errands for the residents, him buying the best coffee, food and getting camera equipment for the snack bar lady's son. han seo gifting the pawnshop couple with cute baby items etc.
(obviously he buys the most expensive shit bc he's still a rich boy, but they dont have to know)
(side note: he'd be fucking adorable with a baby, imagine him being the babies "uncle han seo" who gets them the best gifts !!)
even though he was comfortable with all of them, every once in a while his facade would slip.
every once in a while, someone would make a sharp movement towards him and he'd flinch. or if someone makes a quick step towards him, he'd back up and stiffen up on instinct
even if it was someone patting his back or just making a quick movement, he'd react on instinct from the years of abuse from han seok. but no one ever said anything about it if they noticed.
one afternoon after lunch, they were washing dishes, han seo on washing duty and cha-young drying and placing them back. and han seo was in his full sleeves and cha-young notices his sleeves getting wet
"yah, roll your sleeves back, by the end of this your whole sleeve will be wet! you know how uncomfortable those sleeves would be?"
"ahaha, it's alright noona, i'll be fine"
han seo tries to laugh it off, grining at her with one of his wide grins but there's something off about this one. but cha-young gives one of her patented glares and he rolls them up carefully, shielding his arms from her view, and continues washing the rest.
cha-young doesn't take note of his bruises at first, but noted the care he went through to shield his arms from her. his arms were posed almost awkwardly and he was on high alert
it wasn't until after they both finished and he was drying his hands that cha-young saw the massive bruises he had, climbing up his forearms and under the sleeves
he stiffens when he sees her stare, and quickly tries to cover them but she grabs them before he could hide it
she's completely quiet while she stares at his arms. after a moment, he speaks up
"oh i accidentally banged these against my doorway, they're just small bruises. it's go away in a couple days" he smiles at her again but she could tell from the way his shoulders were frozen and the wavering of his voice that it wasn't the truth
"did he do these?" she asked him, her face completely neutral and her voice barely a whisper. she's still looking at his forearms, her fingers ghosting over the bruises.
han seo just looks down and the silence is enough of an answer for cha-young. he walks away, embarrassed that she found out about it, even though his years of therapy told him that it wasn't never his fault, he still felt the shame and anger of not being able to break free.
he's quiet for the rest of the time, feigning tiredness and finding an excuse to leave the plaza
that night, it was just vincenzo and her working at the office late, in preparation for babel. cha-young's mind was still on what she saw that afternoon. abruptly, she stands up, her hand gripping the pen in her hand as she turned to vincenzo sitting at the other desk.
"did you know that bastard hurt him? he's been abusing han seo this whole time?" she asked vincenzo, her voice seething with anger
"i know."
"you know??? why didn't you ever say anything?"
vincenzo looks up at her from his stack of papers, setting his pen down.
"it wasn't my place. i picked up on it when he flinched when mr. tak reached toward him to place a hand on his shoulder."
cha-young sat back down then, her lips pressed together, and vin went back to his paperwork
"we should get him out of there. who knows what han seok would do in one of his rages?"
"couple nights ago, we went to drink makgeolli and i offered him a way out. i told him if he ever needs to leave, and if he's ready to leave, he has a place at the plaza."
"and is he? leaving that is?"
"no. he thanked me, but said that he needed to stay until his brother and his group crumbles to the ground."
cha-young let out a sigh, biting her lip, the worry on her face all too evident
"hong cha-young byeonosa-nim, we shouldn't baby him. jang han seo deserves revenge against his brother just like we do and the choice is ultimately up to him."
"i know. i just worry."
they stayed quiet for the rest of the night, working late but the topic never leaves cha-young or vincenzo's minds
the next day, han seo avoided her like the plague, not wanting to talk about what she saw yesterday
but while he was studying, she approached him, a glass of juice and a snack in hand, setting it next to him. she checked over his work quietly as he took a break and glanced at his arms, doing a once over just to make sure he didn't get any new ones.
"well done, han seo, you're doing well" she smiled at him and ruffled his hair and han seo let out a breath of relief and gratefulness that she hadn't treated him any different
from then, cha-young and vin only got fonder of han seo and han seo was pretty much adopted by them. after the battle and han seok is in jail permanently, he moves out of his apartment, and gets one closer to the plaza.
mr. nam would show him how the organization worked at jipuragi and put him to work, the paralegal grateful to have an extra hand around the office
eventually, even han seo grows an affection to the instant coffee and buys more for himself and his apartment
vin would take him shopping for suits, both rich boys obsessed with their sleek looks. they take cha-young with them once but she manages to sleep off at every shop they go to.
vincenzo also plays hockey with him regularly and the plaza invites him to plaza game nights. they get up to all kinds of mischief,
han seo loves spicy food, just like cha-young so they make it their mission to go to try every restaurant and compete to see just how much spice they can handle. obviously vincenzo doesn't even make it past the first round of the spice competitions but cha-young and han seo have the same competitive streak that keeps them going
han seo is also dropping hints to both of cha-young and vincenzo that they should get married. constantly teasing vincenzo about cha-young in the way only younger brothers do
obviously on one of cha-young and han seo’s days out, han seo drops hints CONSTANTLY, trying to get her to admit cha young likes vincenzo
and OBVIOUSLY she slips up, and han seo doesn’t let go of it
he does the whole younger brother teasing every single time he catches cha-young glancing at vincenzo at the firm
“cha-young noona and vin hyung, sitting in a tree. K I S S I N—” “HAN SEO!!!”
obviously chayenzo eventually get together but decide to keep it a secret (and of course, they were awful at it)
eventually when they reveal it to the office, mr. nam and han seo react like that one scene in suspicious partner (“quick, act surprised” “*gasp* you guys are together??????? we had no idea!!”)
han seo is basically adopted as a younger brother to both cha-young and vincenzo and even the plaza loves his presence and he gets to have a peaceful existence for the rest of his life
anyways han seo deserves a happy ending with a good family. he deserves a second chance with a family that LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM AND GIVES HIM CHOICES AND ALLOWS HIM TO BE HIMSELF. (and yes this covered more than just one scene but I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON HIM) as always feel free to add on :D
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melodiesofblueroses · 3 years
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Hi I saw that you were open!!
If love some fluff for levi, Lucifer, satan, mammon, and belphegor if you dont mind.
As part of mc's magic training they burn incense too focus. But this time Solomon switched the regular intense with demon nip ( cat nip for demons) as an experiment.
Suddenly the bro's get hyperly aware of mc's presence more than usual and become extremely lovey.
Plz remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself!💖💖
Aw thank you so much for the request!! This was so fun and cute to write.  I decided to go with hcs, and I hope that I managed to write what you had in mind! Take care of yourself as well, remember to take breaks, and I hope you have a good night/day  ❤ ❤
»»————- ♡ ————-««
✦ Lucifer
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Lucifer immediately knew that the incenses were changed and by whom, whether deliberately or by accident and regardless of smell or not
it was as if he had eyes all over the house (although that wasn’t too far of a stretch since the portraits did talk)
the moment he was aware that the usual incenses were changed with demon nip, Lucifer wanted to so badly march down to Purgatory Hall and punish Solomon
but you were so excited for your training, and you practically begged him to stay
ok, that was a lie. Lucifer just didn’t want to admit that he’d rather you not miss a lesson, although that was also just an excuse to spend more time with you
he could always punish Solomon later, and besides, he was one of the strongest demons, he should be able to ignore the effects
oh boy was he wrong
in the following days, Lucifer began to take notice of your presence more and strike up convos way more often, which did confuse you a bit, though you brushed it off as him not wanting to be held liable if anything were to happen to the human exchange student
what really bewildered you was the fact that he was acting so sweet towards you?? like, he’d usually address you formally and with a neutral tone
but now, although it was a bit subtle, his voice went a bit soft whenever he spoke to you, and you couldn’t help but notice how he smiled much more now around you
it was a surprising change, but a welcome one
“y/n, if the work at RAD is too much for you, I can always bring it up to Diavolo and have him lessen the workload”
“would you perhaps care to join me for dinner with Diavolo tonight? you can bring up any concerns you have with the program”
he began to take notice of your wellbeing much more, and while it did freak you out a bit at first, you grew to love it. his soft side was just too adorable
when the effects wore off, Lucifer made you swear to not tell anyone what had happened
if word got out that the demon prince’s right hand demon grew soft, it’d be a pr disaster!
and he also made it his mission to sabotage Solomon’s stay whenever possible in order to get back at him
although the effects did wear off, you noticed that he did begin to take care of you and notice you more, although it was wayy more subtle and you couldn’t tell whether or not he thought it was his obligation
whatever it was, you were glad that Lucifer had managed to open up to you just a tiny bit more
»»————- ♡ ————-««
✧ Mammon
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honestly, he’d have no idea that the incenses were switched
not because he didn’t know the difference (that was a possibility though) but because he was just too excited to spend some time with you
so you both thought it was a successful session and didn’t think much of it
when the effects kicked in, however, you began to notice that Mammon became a lot more clingy and affectionate
it was as if he was glued to your side, never wanting to leave you with some other demon for too long
“do you have an extra pencil I can borrow?” some demon asked you in class
“of course, here you g-”
“hey, what are ya doing with MY human??”
it does get a bit annoying at times, so when you tell him to knock it off, he’ll try to keep his distance
try
he was no exception to the power of the demon nip after all, but he would try to butt in less, although he was still by your side at all times
on the plus side, this means a lot of cuddles which you didn’t mind whatsoever
he was so warm and cuddly. it was a great way to end the day, especially when the two of you would accidentally sleep in each others’ arms while cuddling
he’d also shower you with gifts
that pen you offhandedly mentioned that one time when you were bored in demon history class? bam, it’s on your bedside table when you get home
you had absolutely no idea where he got the money from but decided it was better not to ask
you’d have to tell him to stop since the gifts were becoming a bit too much, but you really did appreciate the gesture
when the effects wore off, Mammon would become all flustered and try to come up with some excuse as to why he suddenly became all affectionate
“w-well, I was only tryna look after ya! it’s my job!”
you’d miss all the cuddles though, so when you told him that, Mammon would make sure that he’d make time for a cuddling session, although he said it was because you begged him and he, being the oh so great and generous Mammon, couldn’t turn you down
you were just glad that you were able to relish in his touch once more
»»————- ♡ ————-««
✰ Leviathan
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he’d probably pay no mind to the switched incenses or he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference since all that was going through his mind was laalkjr0*%#$ I’m spending time with y/n
when the effects started kicking in, however, Levi would definitely know that something was up
he was starting to think about you a lot more than usual, and he was super sensitive to your presence. you could very well be in the kitchen, but Levi would still be able to pick up on your location from his room
he’d deduce that someone must’ve made him unknowingly drink a potion or perhaps changed the essences during the training, to which his mind would automatically think of Solomon
ugh, how could he betray him? he was a fellow fan of tsl after all
although he tried to restrain himself, Levi would find himself always dragging you to his room, making excuses that he wanted to show you a new anime or game when in reality, he just wanted to feel your touch
you didn’t mind spending more time with Levi, but you did have a feeling that something was certainly off about him
he was asking you to come hang out with him in his room way more often, and whenever Solomon came over, Levi would say that he was too busy spending time with you??
it was all very odd, but it did mean more time with Levi so you weren’t complaining. this was a win
although Levi tried to restrain himself from asking or doing anything embarrassing, he’d often fail and ask to cuddle or hold hands
your warmth calmed him down, and the effects of the demon nip would wear off whenever you were around
you took this as a sign of him gaining more confidence in himself, so you were quite happy and often obliged to his requests
you did love cuddling him anyway. his jacket was so comfy
“h-hey y/n. could we, ya know, cuddle?”
the last part would come out as meek and quiet, so it’d be a bit hard to hear although you picked it up nonetheless
“of course Levi! I’m always up for some cuddles”
as a result, you practically lived in Levi’s room the entire time the demon nip affected him. the other brothers did pick up on this, but since no one else was allowed in his room, there wasn’t much they could do
like Mammon, when the effects wore off, Levi would be so flustered and go all red, finding it hard to even get out a sentence or two
he couldn’t believe he managed to not only spend so much time with you but also get to cuddle
he did love it, though he’d never admit it. Levi would miss all those cuddling, gaming, and binge sessions
but to his surprise, you always showed up either way, even after all the effects wore off, so he never did bring it up to you
Levi would like to think that he grew a bit more confident after the whole ordeal
plus, he’d have to thank Solomon for being so mischievous and switching up the essences
»»————- ♡ ————-««
✣ Satan
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Satan had sensed that something was off about the incense during you guys’ weekly training session though he tried his best to brush it off and paid no mind to it
he would soon come to regret that decision, however
Satan is a pretty perceptive guy, so he’d pick up on his symptoms quickly and realize that someone (cough Solomon cough) must’ve switched up the usual incense with demon nip
he’d try his best to keep his distance from you, but it was really difficult when he would catch on to your every footstep and breathe if you were anywhere near him
everywhere he turned, the tiniest little thing seemed to remind him of you
Satan couldn’t take his mind off of you, so he decided that the next best thing to do would be to confront it
so he’d invite you to his study where the two of you would read books by the fireplace (it helped liven the atmosphere) and discuss them until the next morning
you couldn’t really tell that anything was off since Satan kept his composure so well
but he was dying on the inside. he thought that having you close to him would help stave off the effects, but it seemed to only worsen them
so when he decided to ask if it’d be alright if the two of you cuddled, you were a bit taken aback since it was so sudden
but you happily accepted, especially since Satan did look a bit cute with pink on his cheeks
the moment he felt your touch, Satan felt his symptoms alleviate. it really was so relieving, but especially so because he loved your touch
it was so warm and welcoming, similar to that childhood home feeling that he never got to experience
having been born from the wrath of Lucifer, Satan often felt as if he didn’t belong anywhere, but your touch changed it
its warmth told him that he belonged here, and Satan couldn’t be happier
and so he relished in your touch for as long as he could, and even when the effects wore off, Satan found himself still missing your touch, as if the demon nip still had some sort of effect on him
once he felt your touch, he couldn’t go back. it was almost like a necessity for him, similar to how Beel reacts around food
and so, after this entire ordeal, you still spent quite some time clinging on to Satan
you, on the other hand, also greatly appreciated these cuddling sessions. Satan used to seem so distant, always having his nose in a book in order to learn more about the three realms
but now, you felt as if the two of you had grown closer (you had no idea what caused this change but you didn’t complain)
whatever it was, you were grateful, and Satan was grateful for that little experiment Solomon had pulled
»»————- ♡ ————-««
★ Belphegor
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would realize that something was up during the training session but would probably be too sleepy/tired to try and pinpoint it
as much as he loved spending time with you, Belphegor was about to pass out at any moment, and he’d rather do so in a comfy bed than on the hard floor
since Belphie is always sleeping with you beside him, when he wakes up with the symptoms of the demon nip, he thinks that it’s nothing more than him missing your warmth since you were nowhere to be found
eventually, he’ll begin to realize that no, it isn’t just him missing you but rather due to some sorta spell
he’d most likely try to sleep it off at first
but to no avail
even when he was sleeping, he’d dream about you and pick up on your presence so it was pretty hard to even escape from the thought of you
so he’d probably start being a bit more clingy, although it’d be more like he’d drag you to try and take a nap with him so you didn’t think anything was off at all
“hey, y/n, let’s go take a nap in the attic”
“Belphie we’re in class-”
you would notice, however, that he stuck by your side way more often
it was truly bizarre, but you thought nothing of it
perhaps he just felt left behind since he spent the least amount of time with you?
well, you didn’t mind seeing his adorable sleeping face everywhere, although your arm did often fall asleep at times, which wasn’t ideal when you were in the middle of taking notes
the demon nip would also have an effect on his dreams
in his dreams, Belphie would often feel your warmth, and everything felt at peace. there were no family tensions, no following Diavolo, and no troubles. it was such a shame whenever he woke up from it
and he’d immediately crave your touch once he did, since that felt similar to his dream, similar to his home
as a result, he’d spend a lot of time around you when the demon nip was in effect, always clinging on to you and dragging you to the strangest napping places
you didn’t mind it, however. for one, you got to spend way more time with him, and secondly, it was a good break from the workload of RAD
though he may become less clingy the moment the effects fade away, if you ever showed the desire to have him by your side again, Belphie wouldn’t hesitate to comply
he lived for your touch after all
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mousehole5000 · 4 years
Text
 this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!
this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it
oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys
“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out
god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”
“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.”  - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions
“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“
“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!
“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot
i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait
“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg
“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again
“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG
“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop
“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay
honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t
“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....
“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much
“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us
“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream
“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(
emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable
xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy
“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.”  - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts
“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough
although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god
fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?
okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing
“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)
okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl
“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king
the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(
that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and  everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool
but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*
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atlaslain · 5 years
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heyyyy kit talk to me abt zack’s hesitations or lack thereof when it comes to killing ppl for soldier or otherwise. i feel like all the hesitation i notice comes from him taking time to process how exactly the commands given to him are supposed to go, or like,,, what he’s supposed to accomplish besides Killing The Thing, but i wanna know your thoughts coz ily
@backwaterheroics
first things first hi rowen ily lots and i hope ur havin a great day.
SECOND THINGS SECOND, it took me forever to word this ramble because it’s honestly just a big formless ramble but im gonna do my best to Share These Thoughts. 
ZACK & HESITATION TO FOLLOW ORDERS: A SAGA
if we start at the very beginning, zack’s first ingame mission initially acts like a true mission but resolves into a simulation. nevertheless, we do see the first hint of zack going ‘wait what, why do i have to do this’ and i like that we’re immediately shown that he’ll question shit he thinks isn’t right. he’s quick to notice that the troops he’s fighting are shinra troops and wants to know why they’re attacking him ( and it’s a lovely lil foreshadowing for Later In The Game ). angeal immediately tells him it’s fine, these are wutai troops disguised as shinra soldiers, and zack’s misgivings appear to dissolve. at this point in time, he is a fourteen-year-old second class soldier and things are really quite simple in his mind: shinra good — shinra road to heroics! wutai enemy, wutai bad. 
i do wanna note here that he doesn’t completely regard wutai as,,, yknow, evil or The Enemy, but it’s more that he. believes the shinra line about how they’re taking over this place to help them. shinra vc it’s fine guys, we’re just gonna rob this place and probably try to eradicate its culture but it’s To Help THem, we’re gonna give em resources and a mako plant or somethin! ( point is, zack thinks…. he thinks he’s Doing Right here. and that’s important. so long as he’s convinced he’s doing the right thing, he’ll stop questioning. )
note that he’s a ton happier to fight the behemoth toward the end of that mission. fighting monsters is so much less morally questionable. a lot of his early missions tend to end this way, with a nice big monster for him to take out so he doesn’t need to wonder if it’s right.
that leads us nicely to wutai and zack’s first mission with angeal. at this point, he’s buzzing. he’s just been suggested as a first class soldier. angeal’s with him. he finally gets to fight. he wants to impress lazard. he’s ready to kill without question here and it genuinely is a touch terrifying how eager he is. 
the wutai mission has that fun mechanic where you actually score higher the more enemies you choose to kill. there’s the option to walk away from them, to sneak through the fortress, but you get more points — more shinra prestige — for causing carnage. zack does not question this. he causes the carnage. 
except with yufi. she’s… she’s a kid ready to defend her home from him. i honestly wanted the game to give him a bigger reaction to that — my iteration of zack is certainly far more affected by this child, this self-professed hero, whose home is being invaded and who considers him the bad guy. he plays along, pretends to be beaten, but it’s the emotional impact that floors him, that makes him think ‘is this right and should i be questioning what i’m doing’. what is he accomplishing here, other than being part of destroying this kid’s people? it’s a scene that’s played lightly but is shockingly heartbreaking. 
he still does his part though. 
the scary thing is, if the whole angeal-genesis-sephiroth mess hadn’t happened, he might’ve continued that way. they’re the ones that make him begin to question — he hesitates initially to fight genesis’ soldiers because they’re shinra soldiers, they used to be allies — he fights them because they’re traitors and because he’s given reason to slot genesis nicely into the Villain portion of his brain and decide that means he’s in the wrong. 
i like to think zack’s declining faith in shinra has a direct correlation to how often he hesitates to follow commands. when it was angeal giving the orders, he was following someone he had trust and faith in. without that, the whole thing begins to feel empty and zack ( again, particularly my version ) is a fucking storm of a person who follows his own damn rules and his own beliefs.
zack lives for battle but he hesitates to take lives meaninglessly. he likes to consider his fights heroic, so long as he can convince himself he’s killing people to save other people. 
he actively Does Not Want to kill either genesis or angeal when ordered to. even with genesis, who’s killed people and is clearly going down a very dark path, zack hesitates. he’s just … like you said, processing. he wants to understand why this can’t be resolved without death — why there isn’t a better way. he fights only when it’s made plain to him that there’s no working around this. he’s told ‘kill’ and he’s like ‘okay but why’. ‘what exactly do you want me to do’. ‘w h y’. during genesis’ first supposed ‘death’, zack’s devastated. he didn’t want this. ( he actively makes damn sure genesis survives the next time. )
with angeal, he disobeys direct orders to kill. this is a breaking point of sorts for him, during which it becomes horribly plain to him that he is one of the few people here trying to avoid all this death. trying his damn hardest to reject those orders to kill angeal, only to do it anyway, results in a strange sort of shutdown in him. he doesn’t question anything for a while. fights because he’s told to. kills genesis copies. loses himself a little. he’s willing to kill hollander, where before his mind was set more on ‘capture and make him sort this shit out’. 
he says it himself: i’m soldier, so fighting’s all i do. he sounds scathing about it. disgusted with himself. he knows he’s a weapon to shinra and he’s letting himself be used, letting himself stop thinking because it’s easy to just follow commands and hope it all works out, because trying to do the right thing only wound up causing angeal’s death anyway. 
zack’s very much a person who wants to do right but gets a little confused along the way about what that is. a lot of his wariness in blindly following orders very much comes from his own strong moral compass, and the way the various influences around him seem to affect it. 
i dont know if this is a good ramble or if it just turned into me crying about zack again but there are my thoughts. my badly organised thoughts. aksdfjxngk.
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jedwashere · 6 years
Text
A Billion Years Away - Prologue
Slowly Drifting To You
***
I’m slowly drifting to you
The stars and the planets are calling me
A billion years away from you
I’m on my way, I’m on…
I’m on…
***
Somewhere.
Painburningbetrayalwhywecouldhave…
We…
Could…
Have…
“Michael!” he called out, before clutching at his chest in agony, and slumping back onto… onto…
… a soft bed?
What?
The man glanced down at his conspicuously bare chest, but apart from from a small, thin scar where he had been stabbed, there was no sign of any injury.
What had happened? The last thing he remembered was…
We would have helped you if you had asked.
He felt a scowl appear on his face, but he dismissed the feeling. Of course she wouldn’t have helped him. Of course she wouldn’t have given up her vaunted ideals. Of course none of it would have gone right.
And, of course, Georgiou would have taken the opportunity, any opportunity, to ruin his plans, destroy the trust he’d built between himself and this other Michael, and then finally to run him through.
In the back, he thought, scowling, of course in the back.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. A whole year of planning, wasted. A whole year of fighting, torture, uncertainty mixed with… with…
No, he admonished himself, forcing himself to remain calm. It’s in the past. All in the past. Michael’s face flashed in front of him, but he pushed it away. We’re alive. We move forward. That’s the only way to go from here.
It was far easier to think that than to focus on just how much he had lost in his last gamble. Shaking his head slightly, he looked around the room, trying to ascertain just where he was and what was happening.
It looked… nice.
The walls were wood-panel, real wood too if his eyes weren’t lying to him. There were windows, though the view outside was blocked by opaque, faintly blue curtains, diffusing pale sunlight from outside. There were wicker chairs dotted about, and a library. It was warm, but not unpleasantly so.
He sat up, wincing. His chest still hurt, but he was fine otherwise. He seemed to have been dressed in a simple pair of thin pyjama trousers made from loose-fitting cotton, which gave no indication as to what sort of people he’d ended up with (except that they were probably humanoid, or at least used to working with humanoids). He stood up and looked around, trying to see if anything of his own attire had survived, but there was no sign.
That could be a good thing, if they didn’t see the insignia, he thought. If I ended up in Federation space, maybe I could get away with playing the same trick twice.
That was, of course, assuming he’d ended up in that universe. Or, for that matter, any universe he’d recognise. His bedclothes certainly didn’t seem like Starfleet standard. It was entirely possible, given multiverse theory and all the associated headaches, that he’d ended up somewhere completely different.
Would be just my luck, he thought, scowling.
Before he could consider any of this further, however, there was a soft knock at the door.
“Hello?” a female-sounding voice asked softly. “Are you awake?”
“Come in,” Lorca said, straightening subconsciously.
A woman entered: she was human, or more accurately looked human. She had pale, almost alabaster skin, strawberry blonde hair that she wore in a ponytail, and striking blue eyes. She wore a simple white robe that draped down to her ankles, and soft white slippers.
“Hello,” she said quietly, inclining her head at him. “My name is Laurien: I’m one of the nurses here. I have been taking care of you.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Gabriel Lorca,” he said, giving her his best winning smile. Best to avoid any specifics until he had a few of his own. “And, uh, I have no idea where I am.”
“This planet is called Erlös,” she said, the pronunciation somewhat strained. “We are on the outermost edge of known space here, as we prefer.” She paused, choosing not to elaborate on whoever ‘we’ referred to. “I know you have no reason to believe me…”
She was right there, he had no reason whatsoever. But he decided to do something he would never have done before his stint in the Federation’s Starfleet: give her the benefit of the doubt. He resisted the urge to snort derisively. Goin’ soft in your old age, Gabriel.
“I’m here and alive,” he said, trying to sound grateful as opposed to sardonic. “And, truth be told, I figure if I’m here and alive I’m probably not going to cease being the latter at your hands any time soon. You had plenty of opportunities to do me an injustice.”
That, of course, was discounting the potential for this to be an elaborate trap, or for them to want to pump him for information somehow. But this felt too genuine, too honest.
Definitely going soft, some voice that sounded like Katrina Cornwell said in his head.
“Indeed,” Laurien said quietly. She tilted her head. “Forgive me, but… we’re a little unsure where you come from.” She paused. “Are you… are you Federation?”
They know about the Federation, Lorca thought, smiling. That made things a little easier.
“I am,” he said with a nod. “Captain of the Federation Starship D- Starship Buran.” Be careful, Gabriel. “Although…” he added, affecting a mournful tone, “actually, I don’t even know what the state of the Buran is.”
Lying prick, the Kat-voice said. He ignored it.
“I have never heard of it,” Laurien said, inclining her head. “But I will speak with Dannik. He will contact the Federation for you.”
“Thank you,” Lorca said with a nod.
“In the meantime,” Laurien continued, “would you care for some food? We do not serve meals that you will be familiar with as standard, but I can request access to the replicator for you.”
Lorca nodded slowly. He was hungry, in point of fact. “I wouldn’t mind some grilled chicken, if your synthesiser can manage it.”
“Of course,” Laurien said, smiling. “I will return shortly.”
As she left, Lorca sat down, thoughts running through his mind. He was alive, surprisingly.
Best to remain Captain of the Buran until I get a clearer picture, he thought. He tried to remember what he could about his counterpart – the smile, the confidence, the love of fortune cookies were all things they’d apparently shared. But I’m supposed to be dead. So I need to explain why I’m not.
Well, that would be easy. He hadn’t the foggiest idea what had happened to his counterpart, after all. Most likely the man had been incinerated, but despite their differences, he was still Lorca. Maybe he had survived, somehow.
He sighed, and began thinking – he only hoped questions about his origin wouldn’t be too far gone.
There’s one piece of hope though, he thought. If Laurien knew about Starfleet, and we’re in the Federation, the war with the Klingons can’t have gone that badly.
He held onto that. Silver linings and all.
***
Next Chapter
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itdislouicor1986 · 4 years
Text
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reactionsthatigot-7 · 7 years
Note
Hi omma! How are you doing? Tbh I wanna rant about something if that's okay.. I moved here to Germany three and a half years ago but I still don't have any friends.. Like sure I have my school "friends" but whenever I go out with them I somehow feel like I don't belong to them or this country and whenever I see how other people go out with their friends and have fun and do adventures together my heart kinda breaks 😪 DayDreamer Anon
The worst part is that I actually like my classmates but I'm not sure if they like me because they always bad mouth other students who were with us last year and they used to be like "bff" that's why I'm actually wondering if they like me or if they hang out with me out of pitty because it took me two years to actually start talking to them 😐 and I have to learn German which is a fuckin hard language to learn not that I can't speak it but y'kno I wanna learn more DayDreamer AnonLike I had lots of hardships in life despite me being young and I sometimes sit and ask myself what am I like everything just affected me from moving away from home because of war to having no friends 😪 And next year I'm moving to a new highschool which is even more terrifying... Sorry this was a long rant I just had to tell someone about it. Have a nice day ❤️❤️ DayDreamer Anon
I've been lazy and busy all at once ToT.ranting is always fine here! spill all that is in your heart!!!remember its fine to not have amazingly close friends, i certainly didn't until my 20′s i remember feeling just the way you do, when i was younger, and its odd, to feel out of place with people you feel most conformable with. but what got me through it was think way to highly of myself, which sounds very narcissistic. but i kept thinking, ‘ill be nice and the best person i can be to them, and if they're going to treat me badly then ill know that their not worth my time!’ its a very harsh way at looking at think, but i do believe that you shouldn't spend you r time with people who are bad to you. so if you find they are being mean, dont feel to bad about being a little mean back. however for your friends id say give them a chance, they may be a little different around you because they are trying to be easier on you because they can see your having a hard time settling down.things change all the time, sure its stressful at the time, but once they've happened then thats that, its in the past so leave it there, as for the changes in the future, dont worry about it, because worrying won't make the transition easier or harder. but understand that it will happen. i know that very hard advise to put into practice, but worrying and stress won't help solve your problems. sweetie its fine to rant, get it out your system, sometimes just by doing that will make you feel better. i hope you do feel better very soon!
~ahgase Omma 
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traumabrained · 8 years
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just a little something about consuming media related to your abuse: common coping method, but please keep it to yourself. i'm seeing this specific rhetoric being widely used to defend really toxic and disturbing imagery/writing/behavior etc, to the point where survivors harass other survivors for being triggered by such content. i'm sure you can imagine what kind of things i'm referring to.
i mean, yeah, im not disagreeing with you here, but i dont know why you thought it was necessary to send me this ask. few people on tumblr are unaware of, as you called it, that rhetoric. ive certainly both heard and read about it. but? i have not advocated for the defense of harmful media, nor have i called for the harassment of anyone who disagrees. in fact im fairly certain i haven’t touched the issue much, beside the instances of survivors sending in asks talking about how horrible and gross they feel because of their need or desire to consume such media as a form of either processing, or self harm.
and my answer in those cases is always something along the lines of: 1) trauma affects one’s sexual preferences and 2) fixating on one’s abuse, and replaying (whether just in one’s head, or else reading/watching situations that are similar to what happened) are both normal, and they are not things which anyone should hate themselves for.
are they ideal? hardly, but what about trauma is ideal? telling us to “keep it to ourselves” is not! helpful! like listen you’re talking to wrong people here. if you want to tell people to keep quiet then uh tell it to the people who are actually involved in the discourse, which is. not i. not this blog.
so i have neither said “consuming media with violence/sexual assault/etc. is a great coping technique and you should do it to!” nor “you must never consume such media and here’s why”. i explain that its normal. i add that you shouldnt hate yourself for it. that’s it. if you want to contest those things, then fine, send me an ask about that. but reminding both me and my followers that some people are acting really badly re: this issue, when the majority of us are already aware, is neither necessary, nor helpful, at least not in my eyes. and don’t worry, i can certainly fucking imagine what kinds of things you’re referring to
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anfionnius · 5 years
Text
If
If a university demonstrates its value by charging high fees, and delivering the best education.
Should poor people go there?
No.
(for the purposes of this post)
As their parents were not sufficiently well put together to pay for it.
Its unlikely you will prove smarter than your parents, by much, so do something you can afford.
You allow the rich to differentiate themselves.
What should happen if you make university, universal.
The value of a university degree gets lower.
The parents of poor people pay for it, the rich were going to pay anyway.
The very poorest and stupidest pay, for their kids not to go to college, or to fail at college.
Childless people, pay for other peoples children to learn.
Yes
The poor should not be denied education, we are a wealthy country, we should not live with stupidity.
Of course, a more educated populace, (leaves the country...) will attract foreign direct investment.
A more educated populace will be more productive, and better people, leading to a better country.
Maybe?
How much does it actually cost,
What do the figures show?
How has it worked in other countries?
How does it affect me personally,
What is the cost to me?
What opinion, is considered, the wrong one, by my friends, by myself, by the media.
How much social stigma is associated with the incorrect position.
What is the perception, on the issue of the person I am talking to, how much do I value their opinion, how serious am I, am I a college dropout, do I personally value education, do I hate the poor? or the rich?
Ireland has free education, seems to work fine, nobody seems to dislike it.
The above is a very simple question, and pretty solvable, in the sense you can provide a cost benefit analysis.
So then it would look like this
We need free education, every billion spent on education, creates 20 billion in wealth for ireland, and then prove it ,or suggest it is likely to be correct.
(as an example, I dont know or care the reality of the situation, I hope somebody does)
Or the opposite.
Free education costs every person in Ireland earning less than 20000 euro 2000 euro a year, and is used, at a 98% rate, by families that can easily afford it.
Etcetra.
The point Im making, is that for any discussion worth having,
Its almost certainly more complicated than the above conversation.
And even harder to figure out what is correct.
And assuming that is achieved, (assuming there is one, correct place to be in this)
Positions open
Include
Against, for, indifferent, outraged, bored, change topic, talk about college, talk about a related topic,
Yet, we are forcefed, less complicated (and the above is 5 minutes work) narratives in the news constantly,
So news is therefore, for low iq people, or for lazy thinkers, or done by weak thinkers, or shaped by market forces to cater to its audience, back to low iq or done badly,
Or people dont want nuance?
Or some people dont.
Or people dont care.
Or I seek out news at my IQ level, or interest, oh, its not IQ, its interest,
If people watch what they want, most people want easy black and white scenarios.
They dont want to expend calories or time on frivolous, useless thought.
They prefer, limbic hits maybe?
If people read what they want, watch what they want, do what they want, presumably, what are we?
Good in our fields, disinterested in others could be the ideal?
Or another view, lazy and dumb:)
The latter hypotheses explains this blogs readership quite nicely. and so on.
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