#happen.-... the way fandom makes u think it does

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

the idiot's lantern is so underrated???

[toxintouch]

yk how in veres likes on his character sheet it says he like cooking (badly)…… WHY HAS NO ONE DONE A FIC ABOUT THAT YET‼️⁉️⁉️ THAT SHOULD NOTTT BE A WASTED OPPORTUNITY. i’m not even joking im ab to send this to so many people because i can’t let this go to waste 😞

Here u are anon!  For the record, you are completely free to send this prompt around wherever you’d like!  It was such a fun idea, I’d love to see more takes on it. ^^

Warnings: Vere talking Innuendos? Innuendos.  So many, and I don’t guarantee that they are funny lol.  Just a general silly vibe and imo: absolutely  tooth rotting fluff.

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅SOUS CHEF ‧₊˚♡₊˚

You find yourself wandering through Lowtown during the lunch hour, trying to decide what sounds like a good meal.

Your mouth waters at the scents being carried on the breeze, a plethora of pleasant aromas wafting out of the eateries nestled inside the Amaryllis District, so fragrant that you can smell them all the way down on the bustling streets of Lowtown as long as you stay downwind.

However, if there’s one nice thing about knowing Leander it's that you also know you don’t have to go that far (or spend that much) for a delicious lunch. 

Near enough to the Wet Wick, there’s a series of side streets that make up an eclectic amalgamation of Lowtown and the Amaryllis District, and in it: a small and inconspicuous eatery.  The menu changes often, though you aren’t sure if that’s out of innovation or necessity, but the food is always filling and reasonably priced.

You follow the winding streets, getting lost for a brief moment before correcting your course, traveling until you see colorful chipped girih tiles and wide, clean windows.  You let yourself into the shop, the now familiar sound of hinges in need of an oiling welcoming you.  

There’s an assortment of goods on display–jars of honey and spiced fruit and loaves of braided bread with seeds–all kept safely locked away beneath an enchanted pane of glass.

Looking around, though, you don’t see anyone selling said fantastic wares.

You call out, expecting the shop keep or her wife to come running but instead you hear…silence.

Followed by a loud metallic clatter.

You freeze, unsure what to do, what the threat is–if there’s even a threat?–but before you can make up your mind, you’re greeted by a most unexpected sight.

Vere comes out of the kitchen area, his hair swept into an artfully stunning up-do that reveals the long line of his neck and clavicle, blemished only by the heavy collar locked around his throat. 

He’s wearing a weighty linen apron over his clothing, presumably to protect his outfit, though–his long gossamer sleeves are completely discordant with the notion, making you think that maybe the apron is more of an aesthetic choice.

“What’s this–?  A mouse?  In my kitchen?” Vere asks playfully as you continue to stare, dumbfounded.  He wields a spatula in his hand like a weapon–swatching it into his off-hand like a riding crop with a decisive snap.

“Where is–?”

“–The shop keep?  Wherever she pleases–the shop’s closed on Mondays.”

(You really don’t like the way he’s watching you…  Or the way he keeps inching closer…)

You take a step backwards, your eyes never leaving his.  “Oh,” you say, bandaged hands reaching blindly behind you.  “I didn’t realize.  The door was unlocked, so…”  You trail off.

You find the doorknob at last.  You attempt to turn it only to find that it won’t budge.

“Was it?”

Vere saunters up to you, tail swaying behind him.  You manage to tear your eyes away from his predator stare to search for possible exits, though you know for a fact you won’t be fast enough.   You look back and he’s already in your space, crowding you against the entryway.

(He smells really good, actually.  Like leather and spice and the subtle cling of perfume and incense.  And beneath that, something–earthy–animalistic, but in a way that’s intoxicating as opposed to unpleasant.)

“I was just about to make myself a snack–how nice that a snack came to me.”

“Stop playing around.” You try to steel yourself and inject the perfect amount of scolding into your voice while combating his heated stare.  “I know you’re just fucking with me to try and get a reaction; you and I both know you’re not going to eat me.” 

If he was, he would have done it by now.  Sometime within the weeks you’ve known him.  …Probably. 

Unless he just likes to play with his food.

“I didn’t realize you knew me so well,”  he says, looking amused.  “Perhaps I didn’t plan to, but now I simply can’t resist.  You look so absolutely delectable, how could I possibly contain myself?”

You don’t get the chance to reply.  Vere’s countenance changes suddenly–you watch his ears flatten a second before you hear the screaming whistle of a teapot.  His ears twitch in annoyance at the sound, his perfectly sculpted face showing a sour sneer.  He gives you a sideways glance, calculating.

“Then again.  I find myself in need of a sous chef.  Congratulations on your promotion.  Come along now.”  He hooks a finger into your cloak and pulls you easily into the kitchen.  (To be fair, you don’t struggle.  Anyone would want to see where this is going, right?)

He releases you once you’ve crossed over the threshold, waving his fingers uncaringly towards a second apron affixed to a hook on the wall as he beelines to remove a glass teapot from the stove and stifle the noise.  He moves quickly as you watch, casually throwing aside the spatula in his hand in favor of an ornate silver teaspoon.  He measures a vibrantly colored tea into the inlaid steeping container of the equally ornate teapot and takes a pleased inhale as the tea’s fragrance blooms, humming as he flips over a delicate hourglass to keep track of the steeping time.

There’s silence for a moment–

Him watching the teapot and you watching him.

“Well?”  He asks, without looking up.  You’ve seen this look before, you think – this pensive, almost lonesome look that makes your heart ache against all better judgment.  “Staying or going?”

He grins when you put on the apron.  You search his face for some sincerity, but he’s all sharp teeth and tall ears, covering any glimpses of deeper emotion with a sheen of smugness.  He circles you once you have the apron on, taking in the image.

“Mm, don’t you just look adorable.  Very domesticated.”

You’re pretty sure that the word he’s looking for is domestic. But of course, he knows what he said and he meant to say it.  You decide that he’s probably betting on your correction, already armed with a witty retort.  You smooth the apron down while pointedly looking away, deciding that you won’t give him the satisfaction.  You hear him chuckle.

Since you’re avoiding looking at Vere, you look around the kitchen for the first time.

It’s a spacious workspace–moreso than the storefront, even.  There’s a large iron stove unlike anything you’ve ever seen, covered with magical runes and dials, with a large hearth built into the belly of it.  A plethora of pots and pans have been placed on the burners, left to sizzle and pop in the red hot heat.  

Oil is singing from the heated, shallow basins but you don’t see anything cooking inside.  

There’s a slab of meat diced into neat squares and a heaping bowl of lumpy batter set to the side of the stove top.

“What are you making?”  You ask, trying to make sense of the scene.

“Panko crusted fish filet.  And there’s a pasta in the oven.  For dessert, I was thinking–” he gives you a sly look, one that makes your ears feel warm, “hmm, well.  I just had a much better idea in regards to dessert.”  He makes a show of licking his fangs, the movements of his tongue slow and sensual.

You think you tied your apron too tight; your airway is feeling a little constricted.  It seems to be getting worse the longer you watch.

You clear your throat, tearing your eyes away.  More ingredients, most partially prepared, and a host of dirtied pots and pans greet you.  You turn your back to him as you explore, fully engrossed in all of the views that the mess of a kitchen has to offer.  You’re almost afraid to ask: “So, what am I here to help with?”

“Oh?”  You don’t hear Vere come up next to you, but you feel him brushing up against you.  “Does my darling sous chef require…instruction?  A guiding hand, so to speak?”  You freeze, feeling his breath against your ear, shivers running down your spine at his light and teasing chuckle.

But then he’s breezing past you, making a wide dramatic gesture toward the large tome perched surreptitiously on the counter.  “Lucky for you, I’ve a recipe.”  His tail wags swishes elegantly behind him as he beams with pride.

His tail knocks the whisk out of the mystery batter beside the fish filet but he takes no notice.

Vere hops gracefully up onto the counter, reaching for the batter.  He does an impressive twist in order to grab hold of another whisk and you take the time to appreciate that.  Then, with Vere occupied and seemingly ignoring you, you take a look at the recipe book.  

The text is old and withered with the occasional dash of sprawling spidery script painting the margins.  (Said writing is utterly illegible–you’re actually not sure if it’s in a language you can read, though if you squint you think you can see something that looks like the word ‘cake’.)  The page it’s opened to is ripped in half, rendering precious steps of the recipe lost to time.  You spot a mysterious bite mark piercing through the corner of the leather cover.

And can’t stop yourself from surreptitiously glancing over at Vere.  He’s moved on from the batter (which looks as lumpy as it did a minute ago) and is now eating skewers of raw fish with his nails.

“You’re not supposed to eat while you cook,” you say, the time worn words out of your mouth before you can examine your personal stance on them.

“Says who?  Some limp dick?  No shame in indulging, pet.”

“You’re not even gonna have anything left to cook,” you warn.

“Hum, sounds like my sous chef should get to work covering them in batter instead of just standing there before I eat them all.”

You roll your eyes, but follow through with instructions.  The space is unfamiliar and your movements are slow and unsure with Vere looming over you from his perch on high, watching.

One of the pans of oil gives an ominous pop.  “Hmm, sounds like it’s hot enough,” says Vere.  “Move over.”

“Is that safe?”

“For me,” Vere says simply.  “And it’s faster.  Now stand further back or you'll get splattered–and not in the fun way.”  Idly, he tosses a batter covered filet into the shallow pan.  The resulting hiss makes you both cringe.

As if on queue, the hourglass for the tea gives a gentle chime, lighting up with a golden glow.  (You’re beginning to wonder how this humble shop can afford all these magical items, but then again this is the city of secrets.  You’re probably better off not knowing.)  Vere’s ears perk up, pleased.  He tosses the remaining fillets in the pan without a fuss, setting lids on top of each to contain the oil, acting as if doing so is going to stop any potential disaster.

Main course forgotten, he moves on to digging something out from inside one of the many cupboards.  “Be a dear and cut this for me, will you?”  He hands you a delicate peach before heading to the tea pot, stirring the contents and adding what must be a priceless amount of honey.

The peach in your hand is overripe but still vibrant–amazing, as you haven’t seen fresh fruit at all since you came to Eridia.  Your mouth waters anew as you remember what led you here in the first place–your quest for a meal–and you’re almost tempted to take a bite, follow Vere’s advice and sink your teeth in.

“My, my.  I’m almost jealous.  I thought you only looked at me like that.”

Vere shushes the denial from your lips, bossing you around regarding how he wants the peach sliced before shooing you out of his way and finishing his remaining tea preparations,with the look of an artist at work.  The tea is a warm oolong color, made only more alluring once the infusion of peach is complete.

It’s refreshing, too, once Vere serves it to you over ice.

You can almost ignore the great plumes of smoke coming from the oven.

Vere cooks how others might enjoy a leisurely stroll. 

Which is to say, he seems to be having fun, but you’re not convinced he intends on really going anywhere.  Still, there’s a rhythm to it–a dance, though he leads you in expected loops and turns, changes the tune at a moment's notice.  He’ll get bored of the task at hand and find some new spice to peruse, demand you taste test an ingredient or give your opinion on a dizzying new flavor he’s concocted.

(He manages to convince you to sample a bit of cucumber soup from the cold box.  You retch, proclaiming it salty, downing another glass of delicious peach oolong–

“I can still taste it in the back of my throat…!”–and he cackles wildly.)

Thick locks of hair are falling out of his up-do by the time he’s satisfied, framing his face and bringing your attention, again to the inviting line of his clavicle.  He tosses his loose hair over his shoulder, preening.

The recipe book is basically ruined, and the pasta is null and void, but some of the fillets look mildly edible.  The artful garnish is beautiful, at least.  The kale and orange slices really bring out the crispy burnt bits.  Vere seems to enjoy plating the food a great deal, humming and rearranging and circling the display until he deems it arranged to perfection.

He’s elegant when he takes a bite, biting down with a crunch.  His tail goes very still for a moment, then shivers microscopically as he chews.  He swallows in a manner that you can only describe as dignified, dabbing his lips with a napkin.  You wait in anticipation, but Vere says nothing for a long time.  Then, he quietly takes the old recipe book and throws it away.

Thankfully, he doesn’t insist on you trying it too.

You end up snacking on some of the pre-made goods, drinking the remaining tea and lounging at one of the shop’s cozy little tables.  The mood is light and easy, and the view is magnificent.  Outside, there’s nothing but trash littered streets and urchins, but inside…the afternoon glow coming from the window illuminates Vere like a sunset, painting him in dazzling shades of gold and red and bronze.

Vere hums, peering at you pointedly through his sooty lashes.  “So, dessert?”

You can’t imagine the look that comes across your face–whatever it is, it makes Vere laugh.

“What are you giving me that look for?  My intentions are pure.” His voice is a masterclass in syrupy false-innocence.  “As clean as Leander’s bed sheets after–”

“Please don’t finish that sentence and give me any mental images,” you beg.  “I have to sleep there tonight, I’d rather not know.”

“Ignorance is bliss.”  Vere agrees, closing his eyes and appearing to bask in the sun for a moment.  His face does something that you don’t quite catch–some hidden expression–but then, he’s smiling easily.  He must really be relaxed if he can still smile seconds after thinking about Leander.  You’re still admiring him when the shadows against the walls flicker, and suddenly he isn’t sitting next to you any more.

Instead, he’s returning from the kitchen, a tray in hand.

He sets it down in front of you, revealing an assortment of strawberries and an ornate silver porringer of what appears to be melted chocolate.  Vere sets it down on the table, plucking the small dessert spoon from the chocolate once he’s seated across from you again.

“Occasionally, life does offer up something sweet to savor–only for those willing to go out and take it.”  His tongue darts out to lick the chocolate off the spoon in his hand.  He maintains eye contact as his tongue laves across the basin and–embarrassingly–you think you get a little lightheaded from the intensity with which your blood rushes to your face.  The crinkles at the corners of his eyes tell you that he know exactly where your mind has gone.

Setting the spoon down, Vere instead picks up a bare strawberry, leaning in closer to press it gently to your mouth.

The chocolate is overly bitter–a little burnt, perhaps, but you can’t find it in yourself to care when you’re tasting the remnants of it on Vere’s lips.

(Before leaving, you plop a few coins down on the counter as payment.  You brought enough to cover your food…but definitely not enough to cover the mess in the kitchen.  There’s really nothing you can do about that.  

You hope you don’t get blacklisted.  You’d like to come back next Monday.)

Hope you enjoyed if you made it this far! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[thelonelynindroid]

His only deanfense

[flareboi]

what if purple never calls him dad

[batsplat]

the reaction to pecco/casey comparison post made by motogp acc on insta is kinda funny bc so many ppl are like “how dare you compare pecco to casey when pecco has the best bike on the grid and casey rode that garbage ducati” . but what about casey’s 2007 title run guys and how in some ppl’s eyes it wasn’t that legit or something bc of the bike advantage. like obviously comparisons between eras are often pretty pointless and devolve into pointless arguments and circle jerking for your fave guy but…..

lol oh man. here is the post for context

world's most boring discourse generator. the most predictable replies imaginable. did you know that. casey stoner. was very good... and had a bike that was tough to ride? did you know that. did you know the aliens were all very talented? did you know that casey's stats are very impressive? wow. you're telling me now for the first time

when I first saw the tweet, I did immediately go. *sigh* why are you setting pecco up like this. it's obviously interaction bait and, well, it does work every time. the phrasing "has equalled or outscored most of" casey's achievements at ducati is a bit unnecessary but like... god. who cares!! the only place stats like this belong is in spreadsheets proper hardworking fans made themselves to compare random shit for their personal amusement. bring back real fandom

and yeah, listen, I don't even really have the energy to engage with the merits of comparing the two sets of stats... it was a different time. you can say that casey had on average a less dominant bike than pecco did, which would be true - and he only had the clear outright fastest bike in one of his ducati seasons. you can say the level of competition was higher or lower back then, depending on whatever agenda you're pursuing. you can make arguments about when it was easier to rack up wins, given only around six bikes back then were even capable of winning races - something which is only kinda becoming true again now with the superiority of the gp24. you can point to the ducati back then being a considerably harder bike to ride. you can point to pecco's more impressive internal competition, you can point to casey's era having some undeniably pretty decent riders in the mix. you can do all of that. and it's a complete and utter waste of time. the main point of it is to have another bout of wanking about how much worse today's riders are, which, I cannot stress this enough, who cares!! literally. why does it matter. quality of viewing experience isn't directly linked to some imaginary talent-o'-metre, that's just not how sport works. everyone knows casey is one of the biggest talents this sport has ever seen! it is perhaps the single least controversial take in the whole sport. nobody's erasing casey's achievements. thank you to the random instagram user for securing casey stoner's legacy by bashing pecco. we've solved the crisis, guys, wrap it up

anyway, look. pecco's a two time premier class champion. nobody will die if he's mentioned in the same name as casey. people used to try and discredit casey's achievements... eventually the consensus morphed to acknowledge that he was obviously extremely good. once pecco's retired, the same thing will presumably happen to him. nostalgia comes for us all

[gothamcityneedsme]

ok this fic im reading is not as good as i was hoping it would be and in like. Meh i should stop. But im like 19 chapters in so im feeling the sunk cost fallacy

[sukifoof]

YEAH EXACTLY U GET IT!! like her whole character is a foil to asriel and they both set up the themes of the game like. forgiving yourself for things out of your control and allowing yourself to move on. to escape the cycle of self imposed imprisonment out of guilt and to be able to set up healthy boundaries. how badly grief can mess with someones head and sense of self. she's such a well written character and it's bizarre to me when people completely ignore that because they view her character through the lense of Mom Or Wife Who Could Have Saved Everything. that's the Thing no one person is responsible for someone else's actions that's the whole Point. even flowey himself says he thought that she would be the one person who could help him but the only person who can really change how he feels is himself. he has to accept what has happened and that he wasn't in control of chara's actions. all of the dreemurrs are extremely traumatized and i feel like a lot of the misunderstandings when it comes to them and the way they act is because everyone experiences grief in different ways and it might not exactly be easy to understand why those characters act the way they do if you haven't personally lost someone in those ways. that's what i really love about undertale it's such a good way to show how to love and accept others with experiences u might not understand BUT anyway yeah toriel and asriel best characters. i love them they are so well written

i feel like toriel's character is really commonly like. reduced to either Perfect Mom or Evil Woman when it's so much more interesting to look at how her trauma has affected her... toby is extremely good at writing trauma and flawed characters and a lot of people look at his work in a black and white way unfortunately. anyway toriel is one of The Best Characters Ever. i really wish her relationship with flowey was explored more cuz he seems to be so frustrated with both of his parents but he especially cares for toriel, yet the way he views her and talks about her makes him seem like he feels betrayed... or maybe he doesn't understand why she bothers caring for humans when it just gets her hurt in the end... they both have a lot of Projection Issues and i love that toriel says she needs proof that you're strong enough to survive. Because Asriel Wasn't. Her Other Kids Weren't. and then and THEN flowey does the Same Thing. they both just want everyone to be safe and alive and loved. and i really Really like how her fight parallels to asriel's fight where neither of them want to let their child/friend go again but they come to terms with it and forgive themselves... "you can't regret hard choices your whole life" is one of the quotes that Gets Me cuz it's just so perfect for everyone character in this game. do u get it do u see what i mean shes so interesting (explodes)

tldr toriel is one of the best characters in anything ever and i need her to be appreciated immediately 💖

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

im curious, why do you like fiddlestan?

i like them in theory (all the pain potential, jeez!) but i feel like i'm missing something very obvious

Oh boy, you’re about to open pandoras box with this one -

I’ve liked fiddlestan for a LONG time, almost a decade now, (EXHIBIT A!!!), and honestly, I’ll admit that the ship is mostly based on speculation. So maybe you’re not missing something obvious, maybe I’m just delusional. I can’t speak for everyone, all I can do is explain why I like it: because it’s deeply rooted in several layers of irony. 

It’s ironic because fiddleford spent the better part of a YEAR dealing with fords nonsense. (And I KNOW, it’s not all bad, but really, especially if you read journal 3, that poor man was put through a LOT. He was definitely taken advantage of, at LEAST a little.) And after grappling with the acceptance that your longtime friend and unrequited love will never return your feelings, having lost the man to some crazy otherworldly nightmare machine, who shows up?? But his TWIN BROTHER who’s HUMBLE and KIND and TEN TIMES MORE DOWN TO EARTH?? It’s ironic, because they don’t know each other, yet they both have years of history with the same person who’s wronged them, and, they can make out about it!! THEY CAN FUCK TO SPITE HIM!! Stan stole his brothers name (and committed multiple crimes under said name), stole his house, and stole his research partner!! And… it's ironic because it’s Grunkle Stan and old man Mcgucket. That needs no elaboration.

(these are all my personal takes/headcanons! Like I said, this ship is based solely on interpretation, so I’m sure a lot of fiddlestanners like fiddauthor too. There’s like a billion different ways to interpret this ship.)

Also -

Their personalities are surprisingly similar when you stop and think about it!! You put those two in the same room, and they’d come up with some highly devilish scams together. They both have moral codes that are a little… ambiguous. And… I can’t believe I’m gonna pull this out as *canon fiddlestan documentation* but these are the kind of crumbs we’re working with here: MABELS DREAM IN THE SOCK OPERA CREDITS!!!! Although it’s not something that actually happened, and it’s just a reference to statler and waldorf, they are IN CHARACTER!! I think this is how they would actually act together if they were friends!! Just two old dudes, hanging out together watching tv, making fun of whatever they’re watching. If you’re in the room, you might get roasted too. Just a couple of old farts. It makes me so happy to think about. 

No fiddlestan rundown post would be complete without the fandoms EXTREME STRAW GRASP at Old Goldie and the Flame Retardant Raccoon. Soos calls mcgucket a “prospector guy,” amongst the other obvious comparisons you can make between fiddleford and goldie. Goldie is something stan used to like a long time ago, but he’s all old and fucked up now, best to throw him away and forget about it. BUT, as it turns out, there’s still good in that old thing after all. SO LETS GET MARRIED IN VEGAS!!!! It’s an extreme stretch, but… It’s a fiddlestan trope that they, at some point, have a crazy night of fun+romance in vegas together.  And I personally like to think that they return when they’re older+happy and tie the knot for reals. The raccoon speaks for itself - it’s one of the ways you can compare stan to a raccoon. And of course, mcgucket's raccoon wife. 

This is where it starts to get a little angsty, and if you “get all the pain potential” then you may have already given this some thought - but why does stan treat fiddleford the way he does if they used to love each other? The whole “UGH, this guy” comment in land before swine, looking all uncomfortable around him in fight fighters, choosing the spot furthest from where mcgucket lotions himself at the pool, and the “possum breath” comment in the last episode (and fiddleford actually has the mental clarity to look perturbed after he says it). Stan is hurt!!! He’s upset!! If they used to be a Thing after the portal incident, something must have happened between them for fiddlefords mental illness to get the better of him, and for him to choose to erase both stan and ford from his memories. I, personally, think that it was deep rooted internal homophobia (being raised in the south, that runs deep), and being scared for getting too close to stan. They were getting too comfortable, and that scared him. What about his family? And tate? His son can never meet stan. He can never let his wife know. And all the paranormal fuckery incidents leading up to this that already weakened his mental state, the portal incident, already having zapped his brain a few times, would have sent him over the edge. So I’m thinking they would have gotten into a fight of some kind, and fiddleford would have stormed off. Thus leaving stan having to live in a town with the person he USED to love, who doesn’t remember him at all!!! What!!!!! That sucks!!!! Only upside to fiddlefords memory erasure is that it makes it easier for stan to pretend nothing ever happened. But it’s still not easy. Also, if word ever got out that old man mcgucket used to be his boyfriend, he would never be able to live it down. So he compensates by being an ass towards him. Fuck. 

But then!! If fiddleford has the chance to heal!!! (say… maybe… when the twins are on the stan o war II) then stan would come back to gravity falls and see fiddleford looking like the person he knew thirty years ago!!!! WHAT!?!?! CAN’T RUN FROM YOUR PAST FOREVER, CAN YOU!?!?! And you KNOW fiddleford would remember what happened with stan. How long can stan keep himself in denial?? And now we’re opening up the can of worms: how the FUCK does this information reach ford?? That your brother used to canoodle with your research partner and might STILL BE?? That has so much potential too. 

Ok I wasn’t expecting to write those last two paragraphs but it’s A BIG PART OF WHY I LOVE FIDDLESTAN!!! It’s a crazy fucking rollercoaster ride!!! This thing has so many angles!!! And that’s just MY fiddlestan interpretation - I’ve seen a lot of different takes on the sort of story that would transpire between these two. But no matter what you’re cooking, It’s always a LOT. 

There’s probably so so much I didn’t touch on here. If anyone else wants to throw in their two cents as to why they like fiddlestan, please, add something!!!

[ignitesthestxrs]

there's something about the way people talk about john gaius (incl the way the author writes him) that is like. so absent of any connection to te ao māori that it's really discomforting. like even in posts that acknowledge him as not being white, they still talk about him like a white, american leftist guy in a way that makes it clear people just AREN'T perceiving him as a māori man from aotearoa.

and it's just really serves to hammer home how powerful and pervasive whiteness and american hegemony is. because TLT is probably the single most Kiwi series in years to explode on the global stage, and all the things i find fraught about it as a pākehā woman reading a series by a pākehā author are illegible to a greater fandom of americans discoursing about whether or not memes are a valid way of portraying queer love.

idk the part of my brain that lights up every time i see a capital Z printed somewhere because of the New Zealand Mentioned??? instinct will always be proud of these books and muir. but i find myself caught in this midpoint of excitement and validation over my culture finding a place on the global stage, frustration at how kiwi humour and means of conveying emotion is misinterpreted or declared facile by an international audience, frustrated also by how that international audience runs the characters in this book through a filter of american whiteness before it bothers to interpret them, and ESPECIALLY frustrated by how muir has done a pretty middling job of portraying te ao māori and the māoriness of her characters, but tht conversation doesn't circulate in the same way* because a big part of the audience doesn't even realise the conversation is there to be had.

which is not to say that muir has done a huge glaring racism that non-kiwis haven't noticed or anything, but rather that there are very definitely things that she has done well, things that she has done poorly, things that she didn't think about in the first book that she has tacked on or expanded upon in the later books, that are all worthy of discussion and critique that can't happen when the popular posts that float past my dash are about how this indigenous man is 'guy who won't shut up about having gone to oxford'

*to be clear here, i'm not saying these conversations have never happened, just that in terms of like, ambient posts that float round my very dykey dash, the discussions and meta that circulate on this the lesbian social media, are overwhelmingly stripped of any connection to aotearoa in general, let alone te ao māori in specific. and because of the nature of american internet hegemony this just,,,isn't noticed, because how does a fish know it's in the ocean u know? i have seen discussions along these lines come up, and it's there if i specifically go looking for it, but it's not present in the bulk of tlt content that has its own circulatory life and i jut find that grim and a part of why the fandom is difficult to engage with.

[dejabooooo]

The Anti-Pines family is utterly fascinating. We have the blueprint for an entire pseudo canon AU, and remarkably I have seen little input from the fandom in regards to it. I can’t imagine why because there is SO MUCH TO WORK WITH HERE.

Anti-Waddles being as nefarious as Anti-Mabel. “The first pig to ever go to jail for armed robbery.” Like 😭😭 imagine waddles standing upright and holding a tommy gun. Imagine no one in the bank their holding up taking them seriously because they’re an adorable little girl and a chubby pig, and mabel threatening to put a bullet between someone’s eyes like “u better cough up the bacon before this bacon smokes u.” I wanna see what other heinous atrocities the cutest crime duo in the multiverse get up to.

ANTI-SOOS BEING A FORBES BILLIONAIRE HOW AND WHY DID THIS HAPPEN

You’d think if Anti-Ford represents the opposite of Ford that you’d wind up with someone who is exceptionally normal and uninteresting but NOPE. Anti-Ford is easily the weirdest here. FUCKING??? YOUTUBER??? DJ?? A sixty-something year old man with 200 subscribers who posts about his dubstep set lists daily. Utterly baffling.

Anti-Stan and Anti-Dipper are the most understandable in terms of being complete opposites of their counterparts, but all of this makes me wonder how differently their stories would play out because of this. Anti-Mabel was “chased out of her dimension” for being so evil. How does her family feel about this? Are they trying to get her back? Does this bizarre cast embark on a comical and heartfelt journey to try and bring her home? A journey that ends in an emotional reunion? Perhaps one that Mabel fights as she clings to her indifferent, cold ideology while her family begs her to come home. All of them recollecting her horrible crimes with proportionately little exasperation and an abundance of fondness. Stan recounting when she stole all the money from a fundraiser he’d held so she could instead invest the funds into remodeling their entire house to have a monochrome minimalist decor. Ford reminiscing about the time she tried to use his channel to funnel money into a crypto/nft scheme. Dipper having countless stories. like how happy she’d make him when he’d get to skip school thanks to her (because she burned down the school, multiple times). About how she’d sabotaged pretty much all of his relationships, but it was a good thing in the end because it allowed him to realize that who he always really loved was that dorky socially awkward corduroy girl he hadn’t noticed at first. All of this retrospection from her family chipping away at her hardened heart and- phew, I'm getting carried away, but the possibilities, man! These characters could be so much more than a one time joke.

There is also the matter of Anti-Bill. “He is very boring.” Shut up??? Speak for urself, schmebulock, he sounds delightful. This is another character I believe you could expand in many interesting ways. I mean think about it, a being possessing the same caliber of bill’s omniscience and using it for good sounds amazing. Knowing all the beauty in all the universes and going out of his way to share it with weary minds through their dreams. Nullifying nightmares. What if he were a healing antidote to the mind, a medicine to bill’s mind unraveling madness? What if they knew each other?

Do you see my (delusional) vision here guys?

[captainshyguy]

its because theyre the closest thing the fandom has to twinks and fandoms explode if they cant ship two little skinny guys or something

I finished Super Paper Mario earlier today for the first time after 16 years of owning and adoring the game and

I have a question for any Limentio / Dimigi shippers out there.

Why

[kaisfruit]

Hiiii loved your first first about kai!

Could I request a one shot or headcanon about each of the ninja and how they would pleasure a fem!reader pls?

How they pleasure you | All ninja x fem!reader headcanons

a/n: omg tysm for my first ask <3 this is like,,one of the few times ive ever written nsfw so!! i hope its okay :3 also im gonna leave out lloyd cuz ik technically he's an adult but idk it's still a bit weird imo warnings: nsfw under the cut (duh),cunnilingus (cole, zane, nya) , slight size kink mention in cole's part, degradation in kai's part, inappropriate usage of elemental ability (jay), umm thats all i can think of im srry if i missed anything ^^

Cole

Ugh idec he's a big guy. is that a collective hc that the whole fandom can agree on? i think so

def uses that size to his advantage when y'all are alone together

I'm talking like MANHANDLING

only if u ask tho cuz cmon we all know he is such a caring guy he would always take your wants and boundaries into account

okay, my horrible down bad size kink out of the way-

mans has a big appetite (wink wink)

goes down on you like no other. like, he treats your pussy like it's breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND DESSERT babes

there would be no breaks with him. i cant say this enough, but he is eating you out like a man starved

overstimulation bound to happen srry i dont make the rules

he would NOT ask for anything in return

this man is the biggest giver when it comes to sex oh my lorddd

you're in charge but like he is if you know what i mean?

like he does what he knows you love, but on his own terms

ur in the bed and he's just instantly pinning you down yk using that strength of his, spreading your legs as far as the can go, and boom diving in head first

srry i could fill up like 3 posts of just cole eating you out im that passionate abt this topic

Kai

Plays with your pleasure like it's a damn toy

This man is the biggest tease ever

Though, his teasing does lean a bit towards minor body worshipping bc he's just everywhere

Marking you up with hickeys wherever he can get his damn mouth

Hands? can barely keep track of their movements. One second they're playing with your tits the next he's two fingers deep in your pussy

Let's just say he's taking his time here just to make the actual sex feel absolutely amazing on your end

But rlly it gets him going seeing you all whiny beneath him at his never ending touches

it's a win-win if you think about it

THAT DAMN MOUTH.

kai is not the guy for u if ur not down for a bit of degradation because DAMN

he has to come second place to jay in the yapping awards bc he's always saying smthn during the act

he pays attention though. listens or feels your reactions to every filthy thing he whispers to you.

absolutely ruins u for anyone else. gl w this man yall <3

Zane

He is so damn PRECISE??

Like, how does he know exactly how to touch you in that spot in order to get that reaction?

LOVES i mean like absolutely LOVES fingering you

being able to watch you come undone on just his fingers? god it is everything to him

will also add his tongue into the mix bc even tho hes a robot he cannot get enough of ur taste

just so calculated w every movement

bro made sex into a science 😭😭

tells you how good you're doing for him, how perfect you look, etc.

loves praising you bc it's the honest truth of how he feels about you

tbh 50% of the pleasure he gives u is from the pure love u can feel with every slight touch, every kiss, everything

soft dom vibes iykwim

REFUSES to even try to get himself off if he hasnt attended to you first

also an extreme giver like

he would get rid of entire body parts if it meant making u feel even better during sex

okay thats hyperbole but like

this nindroid has so much love in his robot heart for u and he needs u to KNOWWWW

Nya

A GIRL'S GIRL U ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS

she has all of these boys BEAT when it comes to pleasuring u bc of her same gender advantage

her head will stay in between your legs until you are absolutely SCREAMING her name

that fact fills her with immense amounts of pride btw

i see her as giving u a good mix of gentle and rough touches that like come together to make the most intense feeling ever??? if that makes sense

she's so good w her mouth like,,,everywhere

her favorite place to have her mouth is on ur pussy ofc, but she could also give a vampire a run for their money with how attached to ur neck she is

marks litter your neck

she's so good at finding that one little sweet spot that makes your body squirm

tends to multitask as well

like if she's currently a knuckle deep in your hole then you can also probably find her mouth licking and sucking at one of your nipples

everything she does to you is just so confusing in the best way possible

Jay

everything with him is just so fast-paced

he barely gives you any time to catch your breath in between anything

just one thing after another with jay

it mostly comes from his overzealous nature

your body makes him feel like a kid in a candy store im not even gonna lie. there's so much he could be doing he doesn't even know where to start

constantly talking. what did you expect from the motormouth himself?

half of it's mumbles of how gorgeous or how breathtaking you are and the other half is just downright filthy

honestly that second part would be such a turn on cuz u wouldn't have expected it from jay

the first time he used his element on you it was an accident

he didn't even realized it happened at first. he felt you jolt at the sensation and his first instinct was to apologize instantly, but he never even had a chance as he felt how you clenched down on his fingers and the moan u let out would forever be ingrained in his brain

from that point on, he's constantly looking for the best opportunity to let the smallest current just give a little tingle to your skin

jay really knows how to keep things interesting <3

[heavenlyraindrops]

Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~ Teaser ♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Song: Eve by Precious Pepala Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Mature Content (its Hazbin, come on guys) Smut (probably idk yet, I will of course warn before it shows up- if it does)

♱♱♱ You, the most virtuous of angels, the kindest soul that had ever graced the ground of Heaven. The Seraphim adored you, the First Man wanted you- you were everything.

You remembered the way the Seraphim had offered to create a third wife for Adam- you were there. He had stared into your eyes as he spoke, addressing the Seraphim.

“I don’t need you to make a third wife.”

You knew how highly the angels thought of you. Sera had told you repeatedly how you were completely Pure in her Judgement, her eyes sparkling with adoration for your virtue. You just smiled sheepishly and did you best to remain humble, which only made them love you more.

Which is what made your fall from grace so shocking.

♱♱♱

[Sneak Peek]

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you muttered, the words feeling alien in your mouth as you paced your living room. Your mind ran through your earlier interaction with Emily. ♱♱♱

“Emily, what do I do if I want to… repent for something?”

Emily’s eyes flashed with concern. “Why, what did you do?”

You knew what she was thinking. Sweet [name] would never commit a sin. Sweet [name] would never have to repent.

“It was just a little thing, I just felt bad about it, and I want to- to clear my conscience.”

Emily tilted her head, her face relaxing as you assured her it wasn’t a big deal. “Sure then. Sera tells me that there’s a confessional on this street-“

You winced, visibly, and her frown reappeared again. “Or,” she continued more slowly, “you could just say a quick prayer at home. ‘Father forgive me, for I have sinned… and then say what you did. Please forgive me.’ Sound good enough for you?”

You nodded. “Thank you, Emily.” And watched her as she turned and walked away, eyes fixated unseeingly onto her back as it disappeared.

♱♱♱ You dropped to your knees as the world lurched around you. You felt like you were going to be sick.

Just say it. Just say the words.

“Father…” Your voice cracked and you trailed off. You glanced out the window, before sitting up properly and tracing the shapes of the clouds againts the glass. How could you say the prayer when you knew, that whatever had happened, you didn’t regret it?

The hollowing pit of despair in your gut only grew deeper as you thought. What would the Seraphim say? You gulped.

You closed your eyes. You couldn’t keep them closed for long- the image of Lucifer was seared across the back of your eyelids. It didn’t matter. The feel of his hand was printed on your wrist. On your waist. The warmth of his lips on yours still lingered. His eyes. Why did he have to be so beautiful? You shuddered.

You knew that you could just forget this, bury it, never visit Lucifer during the exterminations again and continue your life as an angel. But you knew, at the same time, that he was too unforgettable, and it would only be a matter of time before someone found out if you continued- because you could never, ever stop.

“Father forgive me, for I have sinned,” you forced the words out, voice shaking. “I have fallen in love with the Devil.”

♱♱♱

A/N: Stay tuned guys!

Note: if u want to be added to the taglist then just lmk!

Update: Chapter One is now up!

[elswing]

i hate posting discourse it's pointless and doesn't do anything for me except prolong my annoyance but i'm Tired™ and feel like shouting into the void. apologies to my beautiful feanorian mutuals please look away i love u

i neeeeeeed everyone to stop claiming they like elwing if their characterisation of her is completely made-up biased bullshit that paints her as an immature and disdained ruler (?????) who couldn't balance her responsibilities with the husband she married too young (at 22. practically a child bride honestly) and the children she never wanted (where. where does it say this). she's clearly such a bad mother that she abandoned them at first opportunity (she knew the feanorians were more than capable of killing a pair of twin boys because they literally already did that. that's very much a thing that already happened. to her brothers) and it was her selfish nature that made her soooo eager to flee (she had no reason to think ulmo would save her it was literally a suicide attempt. she wanted to make sure the deaths of her people and presumed deaths of her sons weren't in vain by ensuring they never obtained the silmaril)

like i'm gonna touch your hand as i say this. it's okay if you hate her! just don't pretend that you weren't thriving in the 2016 era of silm fandom where everyone pushed all their male fave's negative traits onto any other woman in a 5 mile radius to grab Poor Little Meow Meow status for war criminal #1 #2 and #3 to then turn around and spout the exact same (factually untrue) sexist rhetoric concealed under seven layers of buzzwords just because it's the year of "unlikable and complicated female characters" like buddy who are we talking about here. have you perhaps considered making an oc?

and i'm NOT saying i want the whole fandom to mimic my exact opinions and thoughts about elwing i realise that one of the best parts of the silm is how divisive it is and how you have so much wiggle room to come to your own interpretations because of how VAGUE the source material is but i'm genuinely convinced everyone's just parroting shit they saw in ao3 fanfics where maglor is secretly lindir and the premise is elrond sneaking him into valinor and elwing yells at him for slaughtering her people. TWICE. and this is framed as a category 5 Woman Moment so elrond disowns her and calls maglor his real dad

(eärendil misses this entire ordeal because he went on a voyage to save the world that one time and no one's let him live it down since because the whole fandom as a collective decided he did this because he's a terrible dad and not because the whole continent was at war and about to be wiped out and maybe he came to the unfortunate but reasonable conclusion that leaving is the best thing he could do for his family if it meant there was a chance his sons could grow up safe in a world that wasn't ruled by Fucking Satan so now his whole Beloved Sacrificial Lion: The Thin Line Between Doomed and Prophesized Hero™ shtick is tossed out in favour of.... *checks notes* Guy Who Forgot To Pay Child Support? oh and they're a lot louder about this because he's a man so no one can call it misogyny that's why no one ever goes the #girlflop #ILoveMyBlorbosNastyAndComplicated route with him and he gets dubbed as that one asshole who just wanted fame and glory even though that goes against the general themes for tolkien's hero characters. and tolkien loved that dude to bits that was his specialist little guy so you can't seriously tell me you think that's what he was trying to portray???????? is that seriously what you think he was trying to portray????????? babe????????????

also there's a BIG difference when it's a character that's only named in one draft and doesn't exist in the rest or gil-galad who has like three and a half possible fathers but ELWING??????? the only possible way you could be coming to these conclusions is if you read the damn book with your eyes closed. FUCK.

[storybookstr4nge]

I will defend Jason Grace with my whole heart forever. oh he's boring? well somebody has to be the boring one--somebody has to be the 'stick in the mud' group leader who is just trying so unbelievably hard to keep everybody safe. not everybody can be making witty sarcastic jokes with every fight :( not everybody is a Percy or a Leo--if we had a team of just Percys and Leos, what would ever get done around here!! he was raised in a military camp all his life, he didn't just get to cultivate a sense of humour and a carefree attitude :(

all Jason has ever tried to do is help people by truly listening to them. he didn't just fight the minor gods, he talked to them, he figured out what they wanted, and he fucking followed through with his promises to honour them!! (or... he was going to.) he wasn't just going to make false promises as a scheme, he was really going to change things and ensure it didn't happen again :(

after everyone shat so hard on Jason for suggesting they not detour to save Nico (which, by the way, yes it could have seemed insensitive to us bc we know and love Nico, Jason doesn't know who this bitch is!! he was trying to be strategical) none of them really seemed to make an effort to figure out... what his deal was? it was Jason who stuck around to put in the effort to really push Nico out of his shell and not just placate his behaviour, which would go on to be such an important catalyst for Nico's recovery and development going forwards :( it was Jason that Nico stayed for :( there are so many moments where Jason is shown so clearly listening to and acting upon other peoples problems throughout the series, and he never really gets that treatment back until its too late,,

and maybe it's just personal. as an older sibling I am so used to getting called boring and being told to let loose or stop being so bossy... Jason is showing his love the only way he knows how... by putting himself second, and by just trying to keep order. it just must really suck. imagine putting your whole heart and soul into protecting your found family only for them to dismiss you as stoic and detached and unfunny. and then to see the whole fandom just degrade his character for it :( I get that maybe his chapters just aren't everyones cup of tea, but I never got where all of this animosity stemmed from.

he's trying his best. he's just a kid, like the rest of them... it seems that when any of the other make stupid decisions, they're forgiven for their age and naïveté, but when Jason does, he's penalized as an adult... which I think is so shameful :( he's allowed to have stupid mistakes :(

he is.... my favourite of the seven.. and I just want to give him a hug. I love u Jason Grace I got ur back always

[tom-is-online]

not to be rude but ena and akito are. completely different in terms of personality and overall character😭 maybe someone likes akito but doesn’t fw ena’s personality or whatever. it’s fine

reacting to THIS POST

I don't know what you're reading, but I would never describe them as completely different. Sure, they ARE different characters, but if anything is similar about them, it is their personalities and the role they play in the story.

They are both very dedicated and passionate about their corresponding passions despite neither of them having "natural talent." Instead of giving up, they keep working hard to show themselves that they can follow the path they want to despite what others (Vivid Street (Arata) in Akitos's case and their dad in Ena's) around them have to say about it.

They're both very blunt whether they mean to be rude or not, but they both also care a lot about the people around them, especially their units and each other even if they don't show it in normal ways.

Their inferiority in their talents also brings the fact that both of them experience jealousy for people who show they have more talent which is shown in both of their focus events a lot

Neither of them is very academically gifted mostly through a lack of interest

And theres a lot more which im sure someone less tired than me would love to tell me in the notes :)

the 4komas even riff on them often acting very similar

+ Their BNW quotes literally mean the same thing

the whole thing with them both really like cheesecake and pancakes but hate carrots is also meant to be a nod to their similarities

people have a tendency to demonise Ena for being mean or violent or whatever people want to call her. but what Ena is usually criticised for Akito typically isn't (cough cough this fanbase has a history of being very male-biased which I hate)

Akito is also mean, he was a dick to everyone in his unit in the main story at some point and he often pulls pranks on the people in his school (Tsukasa) just to highlight a few easy things

AND FOR THE VIOLENT THING.

People have a tendency to highlight Ena scratching Akito when she was stressed out in middle school. and not to generalise. but. i am convinced you people are only children AND did not read the VBS main story

siblings fight, it's normal, especially in a household like the Shinonomes with the whole emotionally neglectful dad thing they got going on, i fought with my brother a lot as a kid and it happens. I'm not saying it's great and everyone should be attacking their siblings but the people who focus on Ena scratching Akito seem to magically forget.

AKITO PUNCHED TOYA HARD ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE BRUISED IN THE MAIN STORY.

I've seen people make the argument that Akito can be excused cuz of the circumstances it happened being stressful and made him angry. But that clearly ignores what Ena was going through in middle school.

saying "Ena scratching Akito was a common occurrence but Akito only punched someone once" just does not feel like a good enough argument at all.

the last post gave a good argument on it so just go read that to lmao

I'll say it again. stop babying the male characters. if you're gonna excuse Akito punching Toya in the head and not excuse Ena when she was in MIDDLE SCHOOL then I don't know what to tell you

anyway.

i think a large part of their dynamic is carried by their similarities - they share a lot of the same key traits and they tend to but heads due to it but they do care about each other a lot in their own sibling way. I also just relate to them both a lot lmao

if someone wants to make a legitimate argument for how the Shinonomes are very different in personality, be my guest feel free to rb with what you think

but in my opinion at the VERY LEAST they share so much of their personalities and with how much Ena is demonised by some of this fandom it's a red flag to me to like Akito and hate Ena.

but yeah please rb with anything else u wanna add cuz I've definitely missed some stuff