#hange bes survive too
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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wow wow wow ok ok ok ok
so im partway through the wardance event in HSR 2.5 and my mind is SPINNING
in particular finishing the most recent main quest with the Borisin, then hearing about Igor Haft of Belobog...
it's FASCINATING to me how the civilizations in HSR seem to not only follow a path that they value, but a path that they need and end up getting very little help from
belobog following the preservation because their small, impoverished planet is constantly under threat of death and destruction... such that very little is actually "preserved" with any success
the xianzhou alliance following the hunt to root out and eliminate their enemies without mercy... only for those same enemies to stir up trouble from within their own ranks, with the xianzhou luofu in particular failing to realize until two major disasters had already been set in motion. and even before then, considering everything implied with dan feng, i doubt this is the first time they've faced internal conflict like this
penacony following the harmony to ensure the happiness and unity of their people, only for what little harmony actually exists to simply cover up the turbulence and suffering belying every luxury... such that the order arose in the first place to deal with what the harmony couldn't, a thick undercurrent of inequality and divisiveness that plagued every worker, every poor soul that saw penacony as their safe haven, their last hope
that those desperate for preservation would come out with so little, with so many wounds. that those desperate to hunt down threats would be perpetually plagued by internal betrayals and setups. that those desperate for harmony, peace, and unity would allow its weak to suffer until the only option left is not prosperity but silence and preconceived "happiness"....
it's just fascinating to me how those following a path actually have the least of it. it's fascinating how the pathstriders of the preservation are on the brink of demise, the pathstriders of the hunt are under threat of ambush, the pathstriders of the harmony struggle to remain united and fair to their people.
#hsr spoilers#hsr#hsr 2.5#im dying. im losing my mind im dying#IVE HAD THIS THOUGHT WITH AVENTURINE SPECIFICALLY BUT. NOW IT'S THE WHOLE COUNTRY (? CITY?) OF BELOBOG#RAAGAGGGHHHHHHHHHH#maybe i shouldn't have said pathstriders but i don't know how to distinguish between individuals vs countries/planets/ships here#anyway whatever im sure it goes for pathstriders too.#WITHIN THIS CONTEXT... the path you follow not being necessarily your determination. but what you want the most#robin following the harmony because of her doubts in her family.. that she wants to CREATE and secure that unity and fairness#aventurine following the preservation because that's all he has left. if he loses anything else he's as good as dead so#all he NEEDS is to hang on to his life. it's all he has it's all he needs. as long as he has that then he can keep moving forward#towards what? who knows. it's one step at a time for him. he's living paycheck to paycheck with his life. he'll figure out why it's#even worth preserving when he gets there.#sampo... wish i knew him better. but for him i think it could be that a certain amount of nihility is necessary to survive his lifestyle#anyway yeah i just. im thinking about it#my post#my posts#don't remember which tag i usually use for that hfndgbd
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I've been on a hotd kick lately. Love to hate it, hate to love it. It's a mess, but I'm entertained.
I kind of want to take part in the fandom more actively, instead of just lurking in my favorite tags. But joining new fandoms can be a headache, especially when they're as big and full of drama as hotd currently is.
It's a good thing I'm too busy to actually do it, delaying the inevitable here.
#I've been lurking enough to have a fairly decent idea of where the more peaceful corners to hang out in are#So that's a bonus#my faves are either controversial (tbh in this show everyone is) or have 5 minutes of screentime#That helps too#tentatively tagging so people know I exist#I can always delete this later anyway#hotd#aegon ii targaryen#cregan stark#jacaerys velaryon#I should be less chicken#I mean#I survived being a Billy Hargrove stan#I can survive hotd surely#question mark
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I cannot survive this day lol
#it’s only noon and I need to go to bed immediately and start over#our one triumph today: at the dentist he had his first truly epic blowout - we’re talking poop all up his back inside his onesie#no changing table in the bathroom#and my mom had taken the car so no access to the more elaborate changing setup in the car#so I had to change him on the floor using the three remaining wipes in the pack#while he screamed like he was being tortured and kicked poop everywhere#but we did it we made it and then he chugged a bottle of milk like a soldier who’d just survived his first skirmish with the enemy#I have to take ruthie to the vet in a couple hours but she’s started acting fine today so I’m afraid I’ll be wasting a huge amount of money#meanwhile Pip has started vomiting everywhere#but I think he’s just stressed about baby/sudden change#naturally though I had to have a huge crying jag in the bathroom about the fact of his mortality#anyway friends I’m hanging in there#I need to just simplify simplify simplify#I will lie down for a bit now#then I will try to walk the dogs so it’s out of the way#need to leave by 2:30 to get Ruthie in#and I can listen to a hockey podcast and feel more human on the way#then once that’s done I can just do nothing tonight if I need to#my mom is leaving around 4 for the evening but#I��ve mixed the formula and cleaned all the bottles so I think I can just like#hopefully lie around with the baby#the other thing I need to do is write my mom a thank you letter before she leaves#I just haven’t had the energy but maybe I can ask her to take the baby for an hour tomorrow#and sit outside somewhere and work on it#postpartum tag#today has just been a higher difficulty level lol but I’ll have other kinds of days too#all will be well
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Bro why are there so many suffixes in Kazakh what's happening
#plural case? SUFFIX. you want a preposition? SUFFIX. you want a (god forbid) possessive modifier?? you guessed it lads: SUFFIX#and they stack too?? like fr why are we tacking eighteen different mini words onto this library's ass#she just wants to check out books!!#she doesn't need a brazilian butt lift she needs the govt to give her that 20% budget increase she asked for last fall#ah well#i'm being overdramatic i just haven't gotten the hang of it yet#at least kazakh doesn't make me remember a million different grammatical genders and arbitrary stress shifts#unlike some OTHER languages i could mention#(cough cough RUSSIAN)#school talk#in other news i just took my 807th oral proficiency assessment for russian and uhhhhhhh ya girl's vocabulary did NOT survive the summer ✌️
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first years talk at a normal volume challenge (impossible)
#you do not need to stand directly behind me while I'm studying and cackle like a group of hyenas. pleaseee. please. pleaaaase.#hanging on by a thread rn. hanging on by a thread.#this goes for the bus too like it's 7am why are people laughing and talking so loud I can hear you from the other side of the bus#being autistic in public really is just a constant ''current objective: survive''#living in a survival horror game fr#anyway sorry for the rant but holy shit like who raised these kids 😭 this is. the silent study zone. be so fr rn#gabeposting
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checked my bank account 8262848585 dead 15 injured
#WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE 3 DOLLARS.#ITS THE FUCKING SUBSCRIPTIONSSS BUT I NEED A SUBSCRIPTION TO KEEO MT ART FILES BACKED UP AND A MUSIC SUBSCRIPTION OR ILL KILL MYSELF#im going to go insane. and the gas money. and the food. and the pair of earrings and trinkets i got from ren fair because if i#came home with nothing for my last ren fair and my friends came home with a lot of stuff id kill myself of jealousy.#BEING ILL ISRUINING MY LIIIDE#how am i going to survive in the real world if i cant make 40 dollars last a WEEK#my friends need to stopctaking me places im so broke but i cant say no bc if i dont hang out with my friends when they go out i will end it.#GEAHHHHHHHHHH#WOLRD PLEASE BE NICE TO ME PLEAAASEEEE IM UNEMPLOYED AND IM SO SO TIRED AND BUSY ALL THE TIME#i need to start my commissions this week but literally every time i have free time im too tired and use it to lie down and scroll or i get#fixated on literally anything else i need to STOPPPP I NEED DISCIPLINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#yelling into the void complete. i wil lgo on to change nothing about this becaude i have no discipline#vent#txt#delete later
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THEY FUCKING CANCELED TBOYS CLUB LMAOOOOOOOOO
#im gonna fucking. oh my god.#after the TIME ive been having. i had ONE fucking thing i was looking forward to god fucking damn it#pride is literally the one thing that reliably brings me joy i wait for it all year . and i was out of rome during the week with all the#good non corporate inclusive etc events in LONDON with my cousing doing FUCKALL bc she was in a bad mood over arguing with her shitty bf (i#hope jakey dies)#then pride march yesterday was literally so terrible too overcrowded super mismanaged it was my SIXTH rome pride so I know how it usually#goes and it WASNT it . only highlight was hanging out w gio tbh#and the ONE fucking thing i was holding onto. thinking well at least i have this and itll give me that queer joy and communion I literally#hold onto to survive. especially the idea of being in a place where my correct gender is assumed for FUCKING ONCE which NEVER happens not#even in lgbt places. where I could cope with the knowledge i will probably not be able to transition for a couple years at LEAST and if/#when i ever do im in for a terrible hellish situation with my family. and celebrate the now and get hope that maybe its livable maybe i can#keep pulling on this rope until one day im safe and it wont snap in the meantime.#and its fucking GONE. GOD damnit.
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hhhhh is it bad that i’m coming up with post-canon stranger things aus when i haven’t even seen the canon
#steddie#like i haven’t even bothered reading episode summaries#i’ve just been synthesizing what i think happened from fics and gifsets on tumblr#but i’ve been having Thoughts#about everything being the same (including dustin telling wayne that eddie is dead and all)#except what if he’s not dead#like what if he’s barely hanging on but they couldn’t find vitals bc they were all too panicked and tired#and it was too risky to bring his body back through with steve still injured so they left him there#but then he wakes up alone and severely injured#and it takes a couple days for el to notice that she can feel someone alive in the upside down still#(can she do that? genuinely i don’t care)#and she tears a hole and they go back for him but it’s like#god the whump potential yk??#the trauma of surviving those days alone and nearly dead?#the horror and guilt that dustin and steve and robin and nancy feel?#the way they would all melt down every time they had to leave the room he’s in#because they left him once and it was the worst mistake any of them ever made#the way it throws steve and nancy right back to barb but worse?#the way you’d have to pry dustin off eddie with a crowbar for months#there’s just so many options!!#delicious#stranger things
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I never understood the bit at the beginning of Fear Street hey hey everyone go watch it right now it is SO GOOD where one of the characters that the film wants us to sympathize with reacts to a local tragedy with a kind of flagrant, unhinged humor.
And then 2020 lasted for 84 years.
And I was like,
Ah.
I get it.
#fear Street#original#fear street 2021#also just for the record these are some of the best horror movies I've ever seen and I recommend them to everyone#it also holds a special place in my heart for being the very first slasher film I ever saw that wasn't ableist#it's a trilogy of movies that were all released in 2021. they really tell one cohesive story so it's hard to separate one as the best#but holy shit. I have only ever seen such good theming in a horror film in projects that Jordan Peele has worked on#for anyone wondering it is the moment towards the beginning of the first film when kids in the Shadyside High School are#not reacting how one would expect to a horrible local tragedy. and at first I thought it was just the regular thing at the beginning of#every shitty horror film that people call '20 minutes with assholes' where we mark all these characters as meat for the meat grinder so#'don't get too attached they're all jerks anyway.' which has the unfortunate side effect of you the viewer having to#hang out with these assholes for at least 90 minutes. at the end even if the one likable character survives - who cares??#they still have to hang out with assholes till they die! same as if the murderer got them!#anyway I'm not a fan of this trope. but like everything else in these movies it is actually a brilliant inversion of a trope!#because these movies go out of their way to establish that this is not just a local tragedy - this is a tragedy in an endless#string of tragedies dating back to before these characters were even born!#it's not that Simon doesn't care! it's that everyone needs to fucking cope somehow and he does so through humor!#God I love these fucking films
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'She is so old': One-eyed wolf in Yellowstone defies odds by having 10th litter of pups in 11 years
By Patrick Pester, published June 3, 2024
Wolf 907F recently gave birth to her 10th litter of pups, which researchers say is likely a Yellowstone National Park record.
Wolf 907F walking past a trail camera in Yellowstone National Park. (Image credit: Yellowstone Wolf and Cougar Project)
The alpha female of a Yellowstone gray-wolf pack has defied the odds by having a 10th litter of pups at the age of 11.
The one-eyed wolf elder, named Wolf 907F, gave birth to her latest litter last month, the Cowboy State Daily reported. Gray wolves (Canis lupus) have an average life span of three to four years, so it's rare for them to reach 11, let alone have pups at that age.
Wolf 907F has given birth to pups every year for a decade straight since she became sexually mature, which Kira Cassidy, a research associate at the Yellowstone Wolf Project, said is likely a record for the wolves of Yellowstone National Park.
At age 11, Yellowstone’s Wolf 907F has lived more than twice a wild wolf’s average life expectancy. In this photo from April, she was pregnant with a litter of pups that she’s since given birth to. (Courtesy Yellowstone Wildlife Project)
"Every day, I expect that she might die just because she is so elderly, but I've been thinking that for the last few years, and she keeps going," Cassidy told Live Science.
Cassidy has calculated that only about 1 in 250 wolves in Yellowstone make it to their 11th birthday, with just six recorded examples since wolves were reintroduced to the park in 1995. The oldest of all of these great elders lived to 12.5 years, according to the National Park Service.
Wolf 907F lies in the snow in Yellowstone in 2015. (Image credit: Kira Cassidy/NPS)
Wolf 907F is the oldest wolf to have lived her whole life in the park's Northern Range, where there is more prey but also more competition from other wolves. Wolves rarely die of old age in the wild, and in Yellowstone National Park, the biggest threat is other wolves.
"In a protected place like Yellowstone, their number-one cause of death is when two packs fight with each other," Cassidy said. "That accounts for about half of the mortality."
One of Yellowstone's oldest wolves, Wolf 907F is pictured here with her pack last year. She's the gray collared wolf on the lower left. (Courtesy Yellowstone Wildlife Project)
Wolf 907F is the alpha female of the Junction Butte pack, which has between 10 and 35 members at any given time. Cassidy noted that this is a large pack — the average wolf pack size is about 12 individuals — and that reduces the risk of being killed in territorial fights. Wolf 907F's experience also gives her pack an edge.
"Packs that have elderly wolves are much more successful in those pack-versus-pack conflicts because of the accumulated knowledge and the experience that they bring to that really stressful situation," Cassidy said.
Wolf 907F has likely boosted her pack's survival chances outside of battle, too. Cassidy noted that the Junction Butte pack rarely leaves Yellowstone's border and that Wolf 907F is "savvy" when it comes to things like crossing roads and avoiding humans.
Wolf 907F, Yellowstone's aging matriarch at 11 years old, only has one eye. She's the fourth wolf to pass by this trail cam. (Courtesy Yellowstone Wildlife Project)
What makes Wolf 907F even more impressive is that she does all of this with only one functioning eye. Researchers aren't sure what happened, but her left eye has been small and sunken since before she turned 4. "You would never know [when] watching her," Cassidy said.
Like other elders, Wolf 907F takes a back seat in hunts now that she's older, and she spends most of her day hanging around with the pack's pups. Cassidy and her colleagues have counted three pups in her current litter, which is smaller than the average litter size of four to five but not surprising. A 2012 study of Yellowstone wolves published in the Journal of Animal Ecology found that litter size declines with age.
"The fact that 907 is still having pups is amazing, and her litter being small is expected given that she is so old," Cassidy said.
A few of Wolf 907F's offspring now lead packs of their own, but most of her pups never reach adulthood due to the perilous nature of being a wolf. However, Wolf 907F and the others in the park don't seem to live like death is on their mind.
"They are happy to be with their family going from day to day," Cassidy said. "Even if they have injuries or are missing an eye or something really stressful is going on in their life, they move through that stress and go back to seemingly really enjoying their life."
At age 11, Yellowstone's Wolf 907F - the gray wolf in the center of this photo from 2020- has lived more than double the typical lifespan of wolves in the wild. (Courtesy Yellowstone Wildlife Project)
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every day i get told i get to live if i get a job and every day i am extremely aware of the fact that i don't want to live whether i have money or not
#i enjoy the time i get to spend with my friends and that's it. there's no lasting feeling from kt#i walk away and im back home wanting to vivisect myself. what kind of life is that.#the fact is it's never going to be anything but survival for me.#no matter how much money im earning how often i get to hang out with people how much i 'love my work' it's always going to be this#i catch myself framing my life as something that was good at one point way too often. the minute i actually think abt it i remember it all#ive been miserable throughout most of my relationships ive been miserable throughout my time being single#ive been miserable during my 'optimistic' phase im miserable now#nothing ever changed.#i was bullied in school and people tried to bully me in my last workplace.#nothing is changing.#except the fact that i can't even be bothered attempting suicide now when there's a full fucking vial of insulin downstairs#what a joke.#what a cruel fucking joke
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fun day today!
#my neighbor likes to hang out in between our houses where the side doors are for both of us#and loudly complain about whatever is bugging her at the time#but since she won't come say it to my face :)#i will not be talking to my nice lawn guy about being more careful about where he blows my cut grass#enjoy my blades connie#(actually melting down over this and feeling silly for it lmao but i will survive this too)
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#personal#i dont really know how to talk about this but i am scared. for myself. not for my system but for me and also for my sys#im primary protector. i am the oldest being in this body by time (not by age). i was one of the first created at the bodys 9month old Thing#ive always had a background almost co-con role. not fully cocon but i contribute to a lot of the blur because im always close enough to#the front to be able to step in as quickly as possible if needed. and to give instructions and warnings to whoevers in front and needing it#the last maybe 2 months? 3? ive taken up a more active hosting role in a cycle with 3 others#im really worried that its been happening so much that its impacting my duties as primary protector. im scared the brain has been#keeping things from me or shutting of knowledge i did have access to to help me adjust to concept of hosting#i cant see the inner as clearly as i could. i know my girlfriends in there somewhere but reaching out only has like a 12% chance of#getting through when ive spent the last 14 years almost living on top of her as she was the old host.#it feels rough and scary. like i know shes in there i think our gatekeep would tell me if she became dormant even if i was full host so i#i have to belive shes alright in there but i do miss her so bad. i want to know shes okay. i want to hold her#im mostly worried about losing more access to information i used to have and diminishing my use in my protector role as a result#i dont want to be a host. i need to feel like i can talk to my guys and gals and pals with the clarity and communication weve spent the last#4 years building. i feel there are more capable than me to replace me and allow me to step back and resume background-host/protector stuff#they are untrained and unfamiliar with our life but theyre not trauma holders. what do they call those? normal parts? dont like that languag#but they dont have the trauma related issues that some olthers/old hosts do and can be trained in the running of the life#we dont work we dont really leave the house due to agoraphobia so we have the time and space to train a new host#idk what to do#idk where this went i guess this is venting you can ignore it#but i guess the solution is to talk to the one cohost i can still talk with and see if they can do some hiring for me#get them to head in and see if the brain will cooperate to bring someone else out to take my host spot soon#or make one but thats not ideal id prefer to avoid that if we can. but i can feel myself reaching my limits for this#somethings gotta give soon either way#system#although we already have 3 other hosts in roster and several alters created specifically for that hanging out inside too so maybe#maybe things wont crumble if i just decide to step back on my own. if i can. harder to step back when i cant access inner but maybe if i can#then we will survive with the 3
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Back to thinking about this post I made a while back where I mentioned I had an Ishmael LCB cbc/expy and I feel like I should talk about her some more someday
#void screaming#if you've been victim to my char assigning posts then you'd probably recognize 'whalessex' or 'whalex' as tags#yeah that's her#everyone is afraid of her#...well. almost everyone#her pack likes her ofc#essal is usually hanging around if they're both in the same space#and golden hind wants to dissect her under the microscope (affectionate)#also somehow despite being the most mentally un-ok of her crew she has the most braincells#second to quedagh who's essentially the first mate#their captain's a reckless idiot who's main strategy is usually “rain the wrath of zeus onto my enemies”#one of her packmates is notorious for being an idiot because she keeps getting into life threathening situations over pearls#and said packmate is too stubborn to treat her pallidification and is surviving it from sheer spite alone#a third is an arsonist... on sea#the fourth is scared of 90% of fire-related stuff#again quedagh is the sanest out of everyone and really wishes they'd stop trying to get themselves killed for the fun of it#(also yes whalex still has the pallid whale's abilities it's just slightly more controlled)#(by slightly more controlled i mean whatever the fuck elsa frozen had going on before the let it go number)
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i love going through my personal tag it’s like getting to remember my life
#personal posting#this is meant to be read as /lh btw#anyways i’m sicky but actually trying to get better whilst rescheduling my therapy appt bcus APPARENTLY#calling out directly before or after a holiday means you don’t get paid for said holiday#and i hate this hellworld we live in so much#and i am so so sleepy also emotionally speaking i could not handle going into work today so hopefully everything is squared away for tmm#taking space from another talking stage that this time got too emotional too fast and like that never happens with me#so i am. very confused by this. also i think it’s fucking with my memory even more that we smoke so much together i literally get my days#mixed up#idk man i’m just trying to survive out here but i don’t feel like i’m doing a good job except for when i do#hey also jic future me is wondering no i’m not back on antidepressants yet#i should be soon tho! i’m getting them delivered#this feels like the movie momento. i am momento#also like can i just have the time to make my life solely about hanging out with gay communist bitches who also want to cuddle and make out#and take it slow. and maybe not be monog? (idk abou that yet i’m just not please with it rn) please and thank you#speaking of going thru this tag i’m trying to find out when i stopped being on my antidepressants and i feel like i can tell by how frequent#i say Thing Are Getting Bad
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