#hand rest battle
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🌟🎬 Welcome back to “Keeping Up with the Cullens”! Or more accurately, “Keeping Up with Bella’s Most Awkward Movie Date Ever.” 🎥🙄 Today, we’re diving into the cringiest third-wheel adventure known to humankind—featuring Bella, Jake, and Mike. It’s an uncomfortable love triangle, complete with awkward hand placements, a puking incident, and, of course, the infamous flu. 😂💀
So here’s the setup: Bella, bless her heart, is just trying to enjoy a “friendly” movie night, but we all know what’s *really* going on. Jake is full-on (and painfully) trying to win her heart, while poor Mike doesn’t stand a chance but gives it his best shot anyway. 💔 Mike’s all in, despite the fact that he’s basically the third wheel, and Bella is doing everything in her power to *firmly* place Jake in the friend zone. 🛑 But Jake? He’s having none of it. 😂
The rest of the group, of course, bails on the movie, leaving Bella smack in the middle of Jake and Mike. Naturally, both of them have their hands on the armrests, palms open, practically begging for her to hold them. 🖐️🖐️ It’s like an unspoken competition for Bella’s affection, and she’s just trying to focus on the screen, pretending not to notice the passive-aggressive hand positioning happening on either side of her. 🙄🍿
Then, the real chaos begins. Mike, clearly not built for horror movies—or maybe just the love triangle tension—gets *really* sick. 🤢 Bella’s already trying to manage the awkwardness of the situation, and now she’s got a barfing Mike to deal with. They have to leave the theater *mid-movie* because Mike is about to explode! 💀
As Mike is hunched over the theater restroom toilet, Jake, sensing his big moment, decides it’s the perfect time to have a heart-to-heart with Bella. 💬 He basically tells her that he’s not giving up, and that he’ll keep trying to win her heart. And Bella’s thinking, “Really, Jake? Now? This is what we’re doing while Mike’s puking his guts out?” Talk about timing! 😂💀
Thankfully, Jake is quick on his feet and, smart guy that he is, grabs a popcorn bucket for the ride home to spare his freshly fixed rabbit from Mike’s barf. 🍿🤢 And it's a good thing, too, because Mike was definitely not done. 🛠️✨ Crisis averted—sort of. After dropping off Mike, Jake starts feeling sick too, and they assume it’s that flu that’s been making the rounds. 🤧 Bella’s thinking, “Great, now it’s my turn to feel like death,” and she’s not wrong because, that night, she catches the infamous flu as well. 🤒💤
Now here’s the part that really gets me—where the heck is Edward? 😤 This is prime boyfriend material. Your girl is passed out, feverish, and in desperate need of some TLC, and you’re just missing in action? 👀 I’m actually *pissed* about this. Edward, my guy, this is your moment! Wouldn’t Alice *see* Bella’s suffering and give you a heads-up? And you just... let her deal with the flu all alone? Not cool. Meanwhile, Ben is over here being the best boyfriend, taking care of Angela while *she’s* sick. Take notes, Edward. 😠
And don’t even get me started on Charlie. Bella said he probably went to work just to have a “free bathroom.” 🚽 Really, Charlie? Your daughter’s passed out on the bathroom floor with a fever, and all you do is leave her a glass of water before you head off to work? Sure, you put her to bed that night, but come on! If she had passed out from her fever, you’d be a strong contender for Worst Dad of the Year. 😒
A couple of days later, Bella starts feeling better and naturally, she starts calling Jake’s house to see how he’s doing. She’s been trying to get in touch with him, but he’s completely MIA. 📞 When she finally gets a hold of him, Jake drops a bombshell: “I don’t think I have the flu…” He’s all confused, not knowing exactly what’s happening to him yet. Meanwhile, Bella’s still thinking it’s just the flu, while we, the audience, are sitting here like, “Oh sweetie, if only you knew…” 😬🐺
But here’s the kicker: Edward would *totally* have lost his mind if he knew about this awkward movie date. You *know* how jealous Edward gets over Mike of all people. The fact that Bella was caught in a third-wheel situation with Mike? Edward would’ve been mentally planning how to “accidentally” leave Mike in the woods for the wolves. 😤 It still kills me how much Edward was jealous of Mike at this point. Poor Mike doesn’t stand a chance, and yet, here’s Edward, low-key (or high-key) wanting to murder him. 😂
In the end, this whole thing was a *complete* mess. Bella’s awkward love triangle movie date turned into a flu-ridden disaster. Mike’s puking, Jake’s confessing his undying love while holding a popcorn bucket, and Bella’s trying to piece it all together while dealing with the flu. And where was Edward? MIA, as usual, during the one moment where Bella actually needed him to be there. 😒
#new moon#twilight saga#bella swan#Jake the wolf#Mike Newton fails#hand rest battle#emotional support wolf#forks high drama#vampire problems#keeping up with the cullens#fall reading#awkward date#Charlie disappointment#bella needs help#sick day drama#edward cullen#jealous Edward#boyfriend fails#Mike deserves better#popcorn bucket victory
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Omg, is there any more about Odonii battlefield performance?
Faiza giving a full battlefield performance, which includes grimacing, sinister looks, letting out terrifying war cries, and banging on her shield with her dagger's pommel. She's wearing a full set of armor, which is functional but highly decorative. A squire will be present somewhere nearby to carry the rest of her weaponry.
As mentioned in the other post, Odonii generally do not actually Participate in fighting. Their perpetual armament and training to correctly Use this armament has predominantly symbolic functions, with their bodies as vessels for state and military empowerment and integrity.
Their normal role on the battlefield is:
a) Spiritual protection for their associated warriors and intimidation of enemies.
Their role is partially to be the ‘guardian lion’ figure in human form, their presence and performance in of itself is considered metaphysically protective. This guardian lion nature is played up and reinforced with their dress and behavior- they wear lion skins over their armor, paint their faces red to obscure human features, perform war cries tailored to sound inhuman (not like lions, just a very shrill and frightening sound). They perform ‘frenzied’ movements that intend to evoke an enraged animal- pacing, banging on their shields, biting their weapons/shields, baring teeth, exaggerated glances that emphasize the whites of their eyes, etc. This can be a disturbing sight- reassuring to their allies who know a frightening spiritual guardian figure is on their side, and demoralizing to an enemy (the latter especially in conjunction with common beliefs that Odonii are witches/shapeshifters)
b) A motivating factor to get the men to fight more bravely.
This is partly out of religious belief (you will probably be a little bolder if you feel reassurance that God is very much present and on your side, via Its priestesses), partly out of esteem for the order (you are highly motivated to perform for their recognition and protect them from harm). In a way, their role on the battlefield is the Least masculinized aspect of their performance- they are in part there to remind men of their mothers, wives, and daughters, who they are supposed to be the protectors of and whose benefit they are ultimately (at least deemed to be) fighting for.
In some cases, this is taken to a (cultural relative) extreme wherein they will expose their breasts towards their own men as a part of battlefield performance, in the form of a supplicatory gesture (bearing the breasts and thumping on the chest with a fist). (The Odomache’s nude body should never be publicly seen under any circumstances, limited and controlled exposure by Odonii Can be appropriate). Breasts are not sexualized in this cultural sphere, but are not treated as neutral body parts either, instead having values of motherly nurturing and feminine vulnerability projected onto them. Odonii showing tits will be a DISTINCT reminder of the ‘vulnerable female’ elements that the men should be protecting, and can be highly motivating (especially in the context of a figure who is otherwise behaviorally ‘masculinized’, it’s jarring and can have useful emotional impact).
c) General spiritual leadership (in connection to a & b).
Weapons dances are an aspect of military training and the kagnoma odo dance is always performed prior to conventional battles, Odonii lead these dances. This has multifacted functions- it is believed to spiritually bless the troops, it is a means of practicing with weaponry/limbering up, it is a psychological rallying point and good for morale, and it may intimidate your enemy who can see it happening from a distance (by displaying readiness/eagerness to battle, good discipline, unity, and physical might). Odonii also perform personalized blessings of soldiers, weapons, and armor.
c) Filling gaps in the command structure or acting as commanders
Odonii are involved in strategic meetings, and ones who receive battlefield roles are very well studied in military tactics. As a matter of technicality, their commands to the body of Imperial Wardi troops do not override those of generals or other ranking soldiers (though they will often be deferred to regardless), but they can fill in gaps in the command structure in case of death of high ranking soldiers or if lines become scattered and communication breaks down.
Additionally, there are two elite warrior orders presided over by the Odonii priesthood (the rest answer directly to the Usoma's court appointed general), with senior Odonii as their commanders and the Odomache as their general. (This is one of many political tension points between the priesthood and monarchy, given that the Odonii have managed to get themselves about 200 high skill, firearm'ed warriors that are separate from the normal military structure, only as loyal to the Usoma as their current general is, and Very beloved among the public so you can't just like, outright kill or disarm this very obvious threat.)
d) A strategic flexing of eastern seaway honorable combat norms
Conventions of honorable warfare have broad commonalities across the eastern seaway peoples, one of which is that noncombatants (by default- women, girls, prepubsecent boys, unarmed elderly men) are not legitimate targets in the normal process of open war (but are fair game in contexts like sieges when a foe has refused to surrender on behalf of their population). Odonii being armed throws a wrinkle into this - they are still effectively ‘noncombatants’ by virtue of being women, but if they actually Engage in fighting they do present a threat that could be justifiably neutralized.
If they do not actually Use their arms they are not legitimate targets, and an enemy concerned with honorable combat will have to work around their presence (or risk social/retaliatory consequences if he does not). They are thus effectively human shields- at the very least introducing an additional layer of difficulties for an opponent to navigate, and sometimes actively putting their bodies between their men and their opponents.
e) as a factor of D, potential mediator figures.
When in conventional battles, Odonii on losing sides are usually expected to allow themselves to be captured without resistance. They stand a very high chance of being taken alive and remaining unharmed due to a combination of factors- baseline honorable warfare practices (which are ABSOLUTELY not always followed, but at least Influence behavior), fears of material consequences in retribution for harming the priestess, fears of spiritual consequences for harming a potentially powerful witch, knowledge that releasing an Odonii unscathed may give the captors a better negotiating position down the line, or knowledge that an Odonii is a very valuable hostage and can make for a good bargaining chip.
Because of this element, captured Odonii are expected to perform mediation roles, negotiate the release of hostages, carry messages from their captors, or bravely tolerate hostage conditions (ideally while gaining intelligence on their captors)
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Odonii very, very rarely actually participate in combat (and are in fact not Supposed To in the vast majority of circumstances).
They are, however, fairly well equipped for it. Their perpetual armament is symbolic in nature, but its intended function of empowering their bodies and the state by proxy additionally requires them to know how to Use It. They are trained and regularly drill and engage in mock battles in each of their key weapons/defensive combinations (sword, sword and shield, spear, spear and shield, longgun, handgun) and are expected to be adept at their use. Odonii who attend battlefields, while not being directly engaged, are still in very high-stress and dangerous environments and will have to learn to stay calm and collected under duress. All this doesn't mean every Odonii would be a skilled warrior in an actual combat situation (given that most will have no experience fighting someone who is actually trying to Kill Them), but it does mean they have enough technical skill and mental fortitude to stand a decent chance.
The only times where they are SUPPOSED to actively engage is when a battle is deemed as an existential struggle and is being lost (in practice, the main context for this is a siege), or losing against a foe deemed so thoroughly depraved that they won’t even slightly follow wartime conventions. The idea in these situations is that they are most likely already doomed, and that they should die protecting their people in battle.
Wardi history is filled with stories of Odonii fighting and dying in desperate conflicts (particularly against Imperial Bur), but this is at least Partly historical revisionism (there WERE some women in proto-Odonii roles involved in these conflicts, but these retellings project the modern Odonii order onto its multiple progenitor practices).
Odonii are frequently present on battlefields, but there are only two major instances of modern era Odonii participating in battle as full combatants, both involving conflict with Finnerich
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The fully modern incarnation of the order can be defined as starting in the late period of Burri occupation, in which multiple Wardi city-states and kingdoms allied against a common foe, and the separate progenitors of the Odonii tradition began to coelesce into a single practice. These alliances were mostly dropped after Burri withdrawal, and the immediate post-withdrawal period was a chaotic scrambling to politically stabilize and assert old territorial claims- thus most Wardi states resumed hostile or indifferent relations with one another. (The one exception is that Wardin and Ephennos remained allied, which shortly would become a Big Deal). Forms of early Odonii now existed throughout most of these states, just not united under a single banner.
The city of Godsmouth was blockaded and besieged by Finnerich during this period (taking advantage of its historical rival’s weakness in the political chaos of de-occupation and hoping to capture or at least maim the city), and some of these early Odonii were involved in this conflict and are known to have engaged.
Godsmouth was a rival to its neighboring states more than anything else- there was little reason for others to send aid in the conflict, and it was left to fend for itself. It was and is a heavily fortified city, and thus the siege lasted for months, with the strategy turning to starving the population out rather than the risky maneuver of throwing troops at well-defended gates to force entry. The Finn forces never managed to breach the inner walls, but were very successful at starving the city's population, raiding its farmlands and villages, and destroying its ports and capturing or burning its ships, all with minimal casualties on their side.
The strategy of the siege finally turned to a risky push to breach and capture the city (due to Finnerich’s own dwindling resources and logistical difficulties in restocking due to storms at sea, and news that an allied Wardin and Ephennos had, in an unprecedented move, been persuaded to send reinforcements (in return for Godsmouth's sworn fealty and absorption into their alliance)), and Finn forces succeeded in breaking through the outer walls. This developed into a very dramatic standoff in which the remaining warriors and/or civilians of Godsmouth attempted to fend off the attack long enough for reinforcements to arrive (which would take days by sea).
Odonii are very famously known to have fully engaged in this stretch of the conflict on the front lines, as it represented an existential threat to the city-state (it’s a fortified settlement, if it was captured, reinforcements would not matter). Some of the recountings are distinctly fanciful (describing Odonii and noblemen leading Siege Of Helms Deep style khaitback charges into masses of enemies, or SWEARING that one of them actually did turn into a lion and ripped apart a hundred Finns before she succumbed to her wounds). An At Least Partially True Story With Exaggerated Elements of the final days of the siege describes the Odonii priestess Hibrides Odiboe rallying a group of elderly men into battle by baring her breasts and scratching deep, bleeding wounds into her chest, declaring herself as 'your mothers, your wives, your daughters, and look how I bleed while you hide behind your walls and wait to die.' While accounts have fantastical elements, it is factual that Odonii priestesses fought and died defending the city's inner walls, notably filling command positions left vacant by slain or starved leaders and rallying citizens to the front lines.
The end of the siege was ultimately a pyrrhic victory for Godsmouth- the city was never actually taken but its population was starved and riddled with disease, its farmlands were burned, and its ports were destroyed. Finnerich forces retreated before reinforcements arrived after failing to break through the inner walls in time, but had succeeded in most objectives of severely wounding their historical enemy. It has been a source of collective trauma in Godsmouth since that point (it is now out of living memory, but vivid stories remain of seeing the dead eaten by dogs and the starving eating the dogs that ate the dead, watching family members succumb to disease and starvation, all while hearing the sounds of fighting draw closer and closer with no reason to believe that any help would ever come), but ultimately recontextualized as a victory, a turning point in the arc of modern history. (The Wardin-Ephennos-Godsmouth alliance, which formed in full as a result of this conflict, would become the triple state that conquered the rest of the region and formed Imperial Wardin).
The direct participation of Odonii in this conflict is heavily played up in the narrative as the order in its purest form as sovereignty incarnate, the priestesses bravely fighting for (what would turn out to be) the beginnings of the Imperial Wardi state. The 11 Odonii who died fighting in the siege have been bestowed sainthood and are memorialized in a series of guardian lion statue-shrines overlooking Godsmouth’s ports (in which their ashes and bones are stored).
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The other instance of modern era Odonii engaging in conflict is significantly less romantic, occurring in the context of the Extremely failed second invasion of Finnerich.
During and after the rout that resulted in the Odomache's capture and killing, it became exceptionally clear to the Imperial Wardi forces that They Were Fucked. The conflict veered with REMARKABLE speed from being an attempt end the state's civil war between the Imperial Wardi-loyalist provincial puppet government and its rebelling northwest population, to a desperate struggle for Wardi forces to get out of Finnerich Alive. At this point it was assumed (fairly accurately) that any defeated party would be summarily executed, so most Odonii present ended up directly engaging in battle. Two are known to have died leading soldiers in a bid to retrieve the Odomache's body, others fought and/or died while defending the retreat.
A few Finn Odonii (women appointed as a local sect of the priesthood after the initial takeover) remained in the capital after the Wardi forces fucked off overseas, and were executed along with the rest of the installed loyalist government and priests (though it's unlikely that they were involved in any fighting, as the provincial government surrendered after the withdrawal).
Odonii veterans of the invading force have not fared well in the aftermath. Most of those who survived the ambush in which the Odomache was captured have ended up committing honorable suicide due to breaking vows in abandoning their leader in retreat, failing to retrieve her body, and/or being assaulted in capture. More have committed (ostensibly ritual, probably emotionally driven) suicide in the years that followed, with the knowledge that their leader's death and defilement and this severing of God's spirit has brought doom upon their land in the form of an unbroken drought and famine, and that they failed to prevent this. The priestess who was captured alive to witness the Odomache's death and released unharmed to report it was the first.
All this has opened some vacancies in the order's leadership, and given things a very somber tone. It is currently in debate as to whether the ones who died on Finn soil (particularly those who died attempting to retrieve their leader's body) should be canonized as saints or if it's a little too soon for all that.
#As usual this veered off but likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whatever. It's technically all Sort Of about Odonii battlefield performance.#Just like. Imagining if Imperial Wardin was an actual historical state whose written language was never decoded. There would be SOOOOOOOOOO#much debating on whether they actually had 'warrior women' or not. So much.#And it would probably end up wildly mischaracterized in pop history circles who base their estimates of a historical culture's#level of gender egalitarianism almost entirely upon Can Girl Fight??????? Did Girl Fight In Epic Battles Though?????????? With Sord????#Almost completely unrelated but I'm downgrading the gun tech. Kind of severely. I'm okay with a little anachronism because it doesn't#follow an earth timeline but it's Too anachronistic for the rest of the setting.#Like I need the use of firearms to be VERY limited and not widespread so they need to be in basal stages. The main reason I originally#had much more advanced firearms was due to old lore that is now obsolete anyway.#They're gonna be a lot closer to hand cannons. Like a transitional form of hand cannon closer in shape to a conventional#rifle but without a mechanical firing method.#This means a lot of things I've drawn recently are now obsolete and the joke of Couya having terrible trigger discipline doesn't work#but it has been bothering me way too much I can't do it anymore
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deep in the frigid ammonia oceans somewhere else, proteins are self-assembling into a rapidly diversifying ecosystem of lifeforms. (id in alt)
#speculative biology#cambrian explosion#[cambrian explosion 2. the sequel]#aliens#xenobiology#traditional art#ink drawing#illustration#scientific illustration#science fiction#scifi art#artists on tumblr#my art#pardon all the tags... i battled with my scanner for 45 minutes to get this i deserve it okay#lotsa. icosahedral symmetry going on#i think im clever#OUGH okay time to rest my hand. good night
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[The Strongest sorcerer in the Modern Age VS the Strongest Sorcerer in History]
#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk#Satoru gojo#gojo satoru#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#jjk 225#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fan art#fan art#my art#NGL the latest leaks made my day LOL but i don't want Gojo to die#and he won't die because their battle has just started so rest assured and be well Gojo-fans#I'm in Team Sukuna but i also really like Gojo and i hope he doesn't end up dead at the end of their fight :')#So let us not fight and bicker 'cause we're all a single fandom aren't we? enjoying the same thing? eh?#So i hope there's not like a whole lotta negativity because i know both Sukuna and Gojo have pretty obsessive fans#on one hand Gojo and Sukuna are having their battle in Shibuya#meanwhile their fans are also battling it out on twt/Yt till the next chapter drops LOL
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AU: Where Sukuna Wins
Part 1
Part 2 here
Imagine an alternate universe in which Sukuna triumphs, dominates over Japan, and endures a lonely existence for many centuries, while allowing some humans to live.
They hold a grudge against him, of course, and want to kill him. They train at Jujutsu High and have some great fighters that occasionally provide Sukuna with some entertainment.
They are so desperate for salvation, they can only find solace in prophecies about a figure with powerful blue eyes that will defeat the king of curses and rescue Japan.
And do you know what Sukuna does in response to that? One might expect him to go full Pharoah mode and kill newborns, but NO!!
HE DOES THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE !!
Whenever he ravages a village and devours the women and children, he ALWAYS spares the blue-eyed infants.
All the curses know better than to kill an infant with blue eyes. The last time a curse did that, Sukuna made sure to make an example of it.
Killing a member of the Gojo clan is also off limits, as well as anything that could delay the reincarnation of this certain person.
These humans are not the only ones waiting for salvation.
Sukuna is also WAITING...for his wretched existence to end at the hands of this person.
The ONLY one worthy of having the honor to do so.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#gojo satoru#sukugo#gosuku#my post#reverse pharoah Sukuna let's goooo#Sukuna wants to be defeated by his blue-eyed soulmate sooo bad#I guess that makes Gojo Moses#He's more like Jesus in this situation though#Sukuna is a curse so he needs to die to rest in peace but don't worry him and gojo are gonna die together in this au#he will bring salvation to the people and to Sukuna#in this universe you're only safe if you have blue eyes or if you're a member of the Gojo clan#jesus now that I think about it that gotta change the gene pool overtime#Half the population of Japan will have blue eyes by the time Sukuna gets defeated#people are waiting for gojo to come back in every universe 😔#Sukuna holding a baby in one hand and a fork in another ready to feast *baby opens his blue eyes* Sukuna: NEVER MIND#Sukuna: Uraume take him to the gojo clan so he can train for our fated battle#Uraume: Sukuna-sama this is the 400th baby we sent them the Gojo clan can't train all of them#all of this is for nothing btw because when Satoru actually reincarnates Sukuna will KNOW#he will feel the shift in the the universe🥴#hashtag wish i could write#someone please write a fic about this..
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Outfits of the Guard from an older fic of mine, Tangerine and Roc. Supposed to be a bit of a mix of styles from Central Asia in the late 15th century as they go about their travels, with a little battle-ready touch.
#siggy draws#the old guard#tog#tog fanart#yusuf al kaysani#nicolo di genova#quynh#andromache of scythia#kaysanova#andromaquynh#*director's commentary in the tags wee woo:#none of these fits are exactly what i envisioned when i wrote the fic but they're generally what they should have been wearing#y'know like some layers come off and some come on throughout the fic ofc#does joe look battle-ready? absolutely not.#he wants to be fashionable! <3#this was the first time i've really attempted to draw embroidery and patterns by hand and it shows lol...#anyway. joe gets the snazzy main-character colours and nicky gets all the brown because he's nicky#also he looks so tired because he is lol. let him rest. or not. let him not rest idk.#i should have put more effort in and drawn different version of their outfits with weapons too but alas#quynh should have a nicely embroidered quiver and a bit of armour. they should all be more armed up --#-- after meeting the kazakh settlement in the first chapter. but can anyone blame me for not wanting to draw all the weapons...#anyway i miss them and i miss this fic and i miss writing like this ;_; <3
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Listen I love "I am no man" as much as the next lady who was once a barefoot girl who ran around with a sword. But it irks me Every Time that she sneaks off to battle because Theoden and Eomer a) genuinely want to keep her from experiencing this Horror and b) maam you are third in line to the throne imagine if all three of you died. Do you have no love of country and land???
#listen even the state of the union requires one guy to go hang out alone in a bunker#eowyn was the last line of defense!!#and also. she hasnt HAD to fight in war before! its BAD! Eomer obviously hates it!#im an older sister. if i had experienced the horrors and knew what i was going into. i would not have my brother go as well#i would not wish it on him#iirc its less girlbossy in the book. but in the movie i just want to smack her upside the head#girl they dont want you to fight bc you are GOOD at what you do and they need someone they love and trust to make it thru#and if they both die they will be able to rest easy knowing the land they died for was in capable and loved hands#keep in mind as well that tolkien WAS in war.#rip to her but if i was the kings neice id take the responsibility that was falling upon my shoulders and know that i wasnt trained#and KEEP THE PEOPLE!!!! Maam who do you think is gping to lead your people?????#lotr#nia post#and yeah i love her role in the battle#but her lack of responsibility to her people and her position always bugs me
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and if i say that aemond is the main targ going mad on the show and is the one causing the most damage to the realm and the aemond stans will start defending him in the comments— what then
#your boy is losing his marbles#look even IF he had a good reason for burning aegon (he was humiliated; hurt; etc) COMMITING REGICIDE IS KINDA A BIG DEAL OK#he’s the only targ that’s gone on burning innocent smallfolk for no real reason#the battle of rooks rest WAS A BATTLE. it was a castle under siege with soldiers on each end but sharp point was just a TOWN#and if that doesnt make you realize he’s off his rocker#reminder that when he takes over harrenhal… he kills ser simon strong.#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#there have been too many people defending aemond and i know some of those gladly put down dany#the funniest thing about all this is that targ madness isnt even real#just smallfolk supersticion made bigger via the faith’s anti-targ propaganda#you can count the amount of TRUE mad targ’s on both hands and have fingers left over#the first one.. can you guess? can you? the first TRUE mad targ was baelor the blessed. yep#house of the dragon#daemon targaryen#game of thrones
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I’m not sure how many other ultrakill players experienced this, but on the 5-3 level, I had gotten close enough to the Gabriel hologram where I could hear him but couldn’t see him, and it scared the absolute shit out of me because I thought it was another boss fight and I was NOT prepared
#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#v1#v2#v2 ultrakill#ultrakill gabriel#gabriel ultrakill#on top of being scared shitless#I also couldn’t figure out for the life of me why he was talking about resting#I thought he was trying to beat my ass but telling me to take a rest before hand#did it logically make sense for a boss battle to be there?#no#but that didn’t stop my fight or flight responses kicking in
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Best feeling in the world: friend’s mom said a buzz cut would look good on me
#ily my lesbian bestie and lesbian bestie’s mother#said it out of nowhere and maam!!! do u understand u have made my year#been Thinkin about it all day#I can die peacefully I think#one day I will get a buzz cut!!! just can’t rn bc it would cause problems I don’t feel like dealing with. pick ya battle and all that#very silly but it’s literally had me grinning all fuckin day like!!! what!!#lynx talks#just makes me happy bc my shorter hair (it genuinely is not even that short yall. it touches my shoulders rn)#gets a lot of passive aggressive comments from my loved ones 😔#also FUCK workout is gonna be rough tonight it’s blood time 😔😔😔#I will just take it easier bc my hands need to rest
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*slaps the roof of Unicorn Overlord* This game can fit so many self-loathing characters, tragic siblings, siblings with complicated relationships, children with complicated feelings towards their parents and/or parental figures, parents mourning their dead children, and characters who are generally a little bit fucked up but doing their best in it.
#minor unicorn overlord spoilers#somehow the ''owl single mom and her adopted children (1 lion 1 human)'' is the healthiest most normal family unit in the game#my quest to unlock as many rapport convos as I can before I get bored got put on hold bc I decided to see if I could salvage half my units#(I've been using like maybe 5 units total at any given time; they are all significantly overlevelled)#(I will probably keep using those same 5 units but I wanted to see if I could make any more usable units and grind them via aux. battles)#BUT HOT DAMN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS--save Ramona and her family as mentioned previously--ARE OKAY#also love that there's basically an ''eldest sibling club to commiserate'' going on between all the eldest sibling characters#Berengaria Magellen Hilda and Morard are all shaking hands nodding offering support to each other#Rosalinde and Aramis weren't invited bc Rosalinde's having too much fun doing whatever she feels like and Aramis is busy being Aramis#anyhow I've said it before I'll say it again I am rattling these characters like maracas they are SO good#I'm gonna experiment with units for a couple more battles and then it's back to the tavern to figure out how to obtain the rest of the RCs#oracle of lore
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So I like to imagine when Anita and Olive come on, it's something like musical magic/the musical episode, so I'm wondering what would Nathan's drag identity be?? 👀👀👀👀 *sprinkles musical magic on Nate*
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I'm obsessed with her (Priscilla).
#hey sci. you should draw priscilla and anita and olive all together. yeah.#i will. i am battling a little bit of burnout after that fic though. think i need to rest my brainy a little.#my hands aren't quite as sexy as usual#sci speaks#nathan summers
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more gortash thoughts. today i bring you the (physical) fight edition!
so, first and foremost, 90% of fights with gortash are already lost before they even start. this man rarely ever is in a situation where a trap or another mechanism of his wouldn’t immediately blow your brains out as soon as he sees you even think about laying a hand on him. the image of him sitting high and mighty on his throne while everyone daring to go against him falls to their knees without him needing to move a single muscle.
of course, sometimes there are fights that he instigates/prepares to have (arms dealer days especially early on must’ve been dangerous, crown of karsus heist, etc) even if i don’t think it’s his preferred method of solving things. but classic gortash “willing to make the hard choices” shebang you get the idea. he’ll do it without hesitation if he knows it’s the best option for the plan. anyways. mentioned this before, but prepares is the right word here because this man prepares like crazy for any fight (or really anything) if he gets the chance. learning about his enemies, the terrain, etc. 5 backup and/or contingency plans at the very least. building a gazillion little gadgets fitting for the situation. will show up in half a mech suit and whatever leather armor there is left is covered with pockets for his shit.
now, some thoughts on how he actually fights. we all know he should’ve had a gun, but. anyways. ranged fighter whose aim with the crossbow is scarily accurate—i believe his strategy in any fight is going for the weak points/vitals immediately, which makes this an absolutely awful combination to go against. uses his inventions to keep his opponents at a distance if he’s alone. if he’s not, which is most times, he’s directing the whole group anyway. treating most of them as disposable meat shields probably. should one get too close and/or against his expectations be completely immune to any of his bullshit, despite his age or the fact that he prefers range and schemes, he’s still no opponent to take lightly in hand to hand combat. it somewhat depends on the point in the timeline (i imagine in the days in which he mainly acted as an arms dealer he’d be a lot more muscular compared to now; more of a pudgy old man build) but he is still an inventor, a mechanic and a fucking blacksmith. his arms and especially hands are stupidly strong. he hammers and shapes steel. again, not his favored modus operandi, but will and can absolutely break your jaw in one clean and precise hit if he feels like he has to.
#rest of his body? not so much. 14 str hat of shame#gortash hands. big and rough and calloused. gortash hands. amen#whew this got long. if you’ve read this far you deserve a cookie or something#enver gortash#gortash#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#of course most of this doesn’t apply to zeke. a good portion of their battles are exclusively mental#and gortash actually prefers to use his hands to hurt zeke. it’s his prayer#but also situations in which that does happen are usually not physical fights.#it’s complicated as is everything with them
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Fascinated and disturbed by the trend in Preboot era of Bruce repeatedly stating he does not want Dick to be Batman, that Dick is better than that or shouldn’t be burdened by that, while also making it clear he sees Tim as Batman someday and is trying to mold him into that role, despite Tim making it just as clear that he actively wants to never be Batman.
#I do not have my references at hand easily sorry#so I got a vague list but not panels to pull or issue numbers#Knightfall and Battle for the Cowl#the age swap arc#Bruce telling Jack he's training Tim because someone has to continue the fight when he's gone#the goddamned birthday present#and some other stuff#I've seen people say that Bruce thinks the Batmantle should end with him#but I don't know if that's Pre or Post Flashpoint Bruce#and if it's Preboot but just one comment I don't think it outweighs the rest#meanwhile I think if the Batman mantle sticks around after Bruce's death#than the top contenders are Cass and Jason#DC#Batfam#Batman#Bruce Wayne#Dick Grayson#Tim Drake
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not a comment on a r/fatuiHQ meme of all things making me finally notice that childe activating FL all the way back in the golden house cutscene actually summons those black hole/collapsing star imagery things (looking Exactly like the narwhal boss drop at a specific frame too) behind him if u look at it closely at the right frame😭😭😭
(peak subreddit btw.)
i mean its not Completely new for a motif his teleporting in the 4.2 opera cutscene is a much more clear example of the same exact visual effect but. Dang i never slowed the 1.1 cutscene down enough to see it for myself there before
what a cool detail and reccurring motif there! now let me lose my mind and credibility for a bit Thanks
(actual nonsense warning lmao its just cool black hole sfx but gone downhill)
(a Completely unrelated compilation here Surely. yes the narwhals spout attack thingy is less Obviously the same visual but its a pretty picture of my beloved. sue me. also its close enough 2 me)
anyway isnt it Curious how all these effects are ummmm black holes. like there are stars visibly collapsing here uwu. and black holes are. Collapsed dead stars. wouldnt it be funny if the narwhal boss drop archive entry somehow directly implies that the eye of maelstrom (a black hole) could simply be the echo of its prey. Which are. Yaknow. sometimes stars. for a cosmic whale. so an echo of its prey is an echo of a dead star. crazy ik. if anything like that existed i mean
oh JEEPERS. next thing youll tell me stars are archons forbid often used as a sort of allegory and very prevalent reference to some sort of an important category of people. like a descender or something. crazy ik (2: Electric boogaloo)
WHAT!!!! (and like 4 billion other examples i couldnt bother to gather and sc sorry)
and like. sure sure lets not get too crazy we need to remember skirks usage of this same power as well thats a good point. i should remain skeptical of my own insanity thats very true. we all get a sticker for responsible behavior UwU
so she indeed turned the narwhal into a black hole there yes. She Did That. so maybe its just the power from beyond thing. its void power its quantum but genshin. the black hole/collapsing star stuff is all surtalogis power okay lets consider that for arguments sake. well i guess that means its just surtalogis brand of transcendent abyss power and not about black holes slash dead stars that may or may not be dead descenders. thats fine
Whew i guess thats it then we solved it guys. okay i can accept that. its abyss power because surtalogi things and childe and the narwhal displaying it is all because of surtalogis plots and teachings and powers. something like that
and even if that may be a bit anticlimactic of a conclusion for a narwhalpilled truther like myself (with a penchant towards Theres Some Descender Shit Going On With Ajax antics as well) at the very least its good that there isnt any datamined book series in which some particularly pygmy-esque individuals Strangely fitting of our current descriptions and knowledge of of dain + the sinners band together to merk some guy from beyond teyvat with special powers that may or may not be the irminsul-proofed historical account of a particular descenders death so nothing like THAT can throw a wrench into our very confirmed conclusion of surtalogis power and by extension childe and maybe even the narwhals black hole motifs just being basic abyss element power that has absolutely Nothing to do with any descenders or... dead stars? yeah its a good thing nothing like that exists .
OH SH----
#NO I CANT MAKE IT MAKE SENSE IT JUST DRIVES ME INSANE. THESE THOUGHTS. I DONT HAVE A GOOD POINT OR ANYTHING IM JUST#DYING OVER THERE THANKS. HOLDS HEAD IN HANDS#BLACK HOLES.... WHY IS IT BLACK HOLES... COLLAPSING DEAD STARS..............................#(also as u might notice. thanks 2 catwithbluehat for yt genshin cutscene compilation for da screenshots o7)#anyway#even if i dont actually happen to have any particular point or theory to offer here. i just find it inch resting how this motif repeats .#strange. odd even. certainly scrumptious#like . Curious. whatever may they be implying. and like ultimately i just think its soooo funny#whyever would a Particular 14 yo awaken a whale that Happens to be drawn to eating Stars Specifically. like what is it abt Him there huh.#hey wouldnt it be EVEN funnier if that purple guy inside the narwhal. with a LITERAL black hole in his chest. that also transforms into.#that eye of the maelstorm there . during the battle. and protects the core of the narwhal in its stomach#was ever called like. idk an ancient nemesis or maybe just a shadow of such nemesis too. in an early beta or sth. for a TCG summon mby#like even more strongly suggesting the dark shadow = narwhals prey = a dead star = a....dead descender even??? jkjk for last part. (unless)#but the first 3... like if it ate its nemesis and the nemesis is thusly that echoed shadow of a prey..... hmmm how Curious#why would a whale that chases stars ... chase that guy too enough to eat him ............#(this is a jkjk unless way of being like. what if the dudes ajax but a past incarnation hehe. what if theyre soulmates like that. tee hee.)#(what if a dead descender has been reincarnating all this time like that . wouldnt that be quirky . also they should kiss)#(ignore me im dying inside.)#anyway . for real tho . idk what the fuck any of this Actually means it just lives rent free.#like idek what im trying to say with any of this shit qskjwajkwdjJKWJKWDJKWDJKD#also the photo quality w the yt scs is kinda ass but thats on me lmao.#rambles#genshin#childeposting#narwhalposting
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fascinated by this idea that hector went to his death nobly, accepting? he died begging
#the iliad#idk theres this whole perception of hector as this great inverse of achilles#where achilles is proud hector is humble#where achilles is rash hector is thoughtful#where achilles is fueled by rage hector is fueled by love#but none of that is true??#we see over and over again hector taunting and demeaning the men he kills#he strips patroclus of his armour and fights for an entire day for ownership over the body#he mocks the pain of meneleus and the ajaxes and ultimately achilles himself when he sees their grief over patroclus#constantly he is given advice from his comrades that he dismissea out of hand because he doesnt like it#when andromache tearfully begs him not to return to war and make her a widow and their son an orphan and both of them slaves to the acheans#he laughs at her#and in his final battle with achilles they do not come together naturally on the battlefield. the rest of the trojans have fled inside#the city but he purposefully waits outside. insistent upon meeting achilles in single combat.#he doubts for a moment before repressing that fear and insisting on standing his ground#and then as soon as he sees achilles one on one his courage fails and he runs for his life#was he the great protector of the people of troy and the pride of priams house? certainly#but he and achilles were far more similar than they were different
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