#hammer tastic

[lazymonth]

Sweet short king and mad short king

I'm gonna name this ship " Hammer-tastic " It sounds cute and I like the name the ship from the character symbol ( or something like that I like being creative )

[ylangelegy]

blindsided ꩜ wonwoo x reader.

── .✦ 💌 includes: fem!reader, office worker!wonwoo, alternate universe: office, pining, in denial!wonwoo, lewd thoughts, alcohol, making out, hand job, loss of virginity, praise kink, aftercare.

── .✦ 📟 inspired by THE business proposal scene. we all know which one, but gif attached anyway ♡︎ wc: 2,700

── .✦ 🚏 MDNI. 18+ CONTENT.

(Or: The three times Wonwoo keeps his glasses on, and the one time he doesn't.)

Wonwoo knows he's done for the moment that you walk in for your first day.

Despite his bad eyesight, he's not blind. He can tell when somebody is hot, and you fit that bill. Sue him.

Still, he tries to rationalize. There's not a lot of good-looking people in the company's IT department. That's probably it, he thinks to himself, as you smile warmly and introduce yourself to everyone.

Wonwoo has just been deprived of good views. That's it. That's all.

As you go to do rounds, he tries to focus on troubleshooting the network issue that some higher-up has been complaining about. But then you get to him, expecting his name, and Wonwoo suddenly can't bring himself to care about the DNS check he's supposed to be running.

"Jeon Wonwoo," he says in a perfectly level voice. "Welcome to the company."

Your face lights up. "Oh! I think you're the one who's supposed to be training me on the new systems."

Right. His boss had mentioned this. Something about onboarding the newbies. And Wonwoo had said yes, because that was just the type of person he was.

Fan-fucking-tastic, Wonwoo thinks as he gives you a quick once-over.

He manages to look bored as he does it. Almost scrutinizing. Truthfully, Wonwoo is not-so discreetly checking you out. The crisp white blouse, the tight pencil skirt, the black stockings.

So help him, God.

"Hope you can keep up," Wonwoo says for the lack of better thing to say.

The easy smile on your face remains, like you're unperturbed by Wonwoo's infamously cool demeanor. Somehow, that makes things infinitely worse.

He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose as you leave to meet other people. He tries very, very hard not to watch the way your hips move as you walk away.

You're good, he'll give you that.

Wonwoo, once again, tries to make excuses. One had to be good in this field of work, in this company. You're not an exception; you're supposed to be the norm.

Even as the thought crosses his mind, he knows it's not entirely true.

There's one too many nepotism babies and pushovers who barely survive performance evaluations. But you're good. Eager to learn. Sharp in all the right places.

Wonwoo is a little bit jealous.

He doesn't have time to dwell on it, though, in between training you on the company's cloud service models and hammering out the new machine learning workflows.

And so he keeps his head down, and he points out the bugs in your codes, and he chalks up his initial attraction as a moment of weakness.

That is, until the two of you are last to leave the office on an unassuming Tuesday evening.

The two of you had gotten in to some long-winded debate about the future of AI. Wonwoo is only made acutely aware about how much time has passed when the janitor shuts off the lights, assuming everyone has gone home. You giggle; Wonwoo cracks the smallest of smiles.

As you both emerge from the company building, Wonwoo's glasses fog up.

It's a normal enough occurrence that he shouldn't be annoyed but it's also a little bit embarrassing. He's used to going home late, to being alone when he does this little ritual of his.

He's just about to take off his glasses when you do it for him.

There's nothing much he can do or say as you gently tug the glasses off his face, as you use a corner of your blouse to swipe off the condensation on the lenses. You're saying something— something about this being the most annoying thing about wearing glasses, about knowing the struggle— but Wonwoo can't hear it.

His gaze is fixed on your lithe fingers and the careful way they hold his specs. Something sparks in the back of his head. A thought, unbidden. How those fingers would look so much better wrapped around his—

Jesus. Wonwoo swallows hard as you hold out his glasses back to him.

The look on his face must be odd, because you're suddenly apologetic. "I must have overstepped," you say sheepishly.

Overstepped?

Wonwoo is pretty sure he's the one overstepping. He's the one imagining you bent over his desk, after all, where he'd be more than happy to keep two fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet.

Instead, Wonwoo mumbles "you're good" as he puts his glasses back on just a little too forcefully. The nose pad presses in to his skin and leaves the smallest of marks, but he figures he deserves it with how he's being.

Wonwoo decides that maybe he's just repressed.

He's always been too busy to sleep around, to sleep with anyone, so this is just some twisted form of karmic justice. To have someone so desirable within sight but not within reach.

He asks for Mingyu to start setting him up on dates. His best friend is a little too glad to comply.

Wonwoo goes on about four before giving up.

Because it doesn't matter if he ends the night with a heated kiss or a mouth around his cock. Every single time, with each girl, he can only picture his company's drab cubicles, fingers flying across a keyboard, clicks of heels on a floor. (You, you, you.)

Things only go from bad to worse when the company celebrates its annual Christmas party at some swanky speakeasy. The alcohol is free-flowing, and God knows that Wonwoo needs it— because you're certainly not doing him any favors.

Your dress is a touch too short, and your smile is pretty, and Wonwoo really needs to get his head out of the goddamn gutter. He cannot, should not be fantasizing about what it would be like to drag you in to the alleyway outside, to hitch up your leg around his waist, to finally feel his aching hardness slide in to your—

"Wonwoo?"

He starts. It's a good thing he downed his drink earlier. Otherwise, he might've spilled his cuba libre all over the front of your purple dress.

You're squinting at him, a playful sort of grin on your face. For a moment, he terrified you've read his mind, but then you're slurring out, "Your glass is empty."

"That it is," Wonwoo says dryly. He lets you lead him over to the bar.

As the two of you wait for his drink to be made, you pull the rug out from underneath Wonwoo once again.

It happens so fast. One moment, you're discussing go-to karaoke songs; the next, you're grabbing his spectacles and trying them on for yourself.

They're ill-fitting on you and the frames don't match your face shape. Wonwoo nearly winces when you awkwardly try to adjust them by the temples.

"Your eyesight is a lot worse than I thought," you whine— a whine, my God. Wonwoo wants to die then and there.

When his whiskey sour is served, Wonwoo shoots it back and promptly orders another one.

"How do I look?" you prompt, tilting your head to one side.

For a moment, Wonwoo contemplates telling the truth.

You look like sin, he could say. You look like you'd make the prettiest sounds if your back was up against the door of the bar bathroom, if his hands were feeling you up over your dress, if his mouth was leaving open-mouthed kisses along your throat.

Wonwoo shakes his head. He's definitely not drunk enough to be saying all that.

"Fine," he grumbles. "You look fine."

Once you've had your fun, once his glasses are back on his face and you're off to charm whoever the hell else, he'll wish he could have been a little more truthful.

Here's the thing: For all of Wonwoo's intelligence as the company's go-to IT guy, he's still pretty oblivious where it matters.

He doesn't realize that you don't really give two shits about AI, that you're only staying so late at work for him. He doesn't pick up that your party dress had been purple because he had offhandedly mentioned once that it was his favorite color.

All of those little things only hit him when he finds you standing outside his apartment, looking mildly miffed. "How much longer do I have to flirt with you, Jeon Wonwoo?" you demand.

Oh. Oh.

"Not another day more," Wonwoo promises as he wraps his fingers around your wrist and pulls you in to his flat. He thanks all the higher powers in the universe that Mingyu has decided to buzz off for the night.

Wonwoo's mouth is on yours the moment the door shuts behind you. It's messy, all clashing teeth and warring tongues. The sudden force of it has you reeling back a step.

His fingers find purchase at your hips, right over the very skirt of his wildest fantasies. You tilt your head like you're trying to deepen the kiss— only to have your forehead bump against his glasses.

You make a sound of protest against his mouth and he swears he sees stars.

Without missing a beat, Wonwoo lifts one of his hands just long enough to pull his glasses off. He casts them aside unceremoniously. He'll buy a new pair if he has to.

He's back to kissing you before you can even open your eyes.

By some miracle, the two of you make it to his bedroom.

It's only then that Wonwoo manages to tear himself away from your mouth, looking slightly panicked.

You're pinned underneath him, the top buttons of your blouse already undone. And you're a vision— your hair splayed out underneath you, your chest rising and falling with every heavy breath. Wonwoo has to resist the physical urge to keep making out with you.

"I—" he chokes out. "I haven't—"

Thank God you're smarter than him, because you immediately get what he's trying to say. You prop yourself up by your elbows to look at him. "We don't have to," you say carefully, your fingers curling around his bicep.

"That's the thing." He doesn't even bother to hide how desperate he sounds. "I kind of really fucking want to."

The smile you give him then makes his heart stutter. He resolves to unpack that later.

Right now, he focuses on the way you pull off his slacks, the way you spit in to your palm, the way you dip your hand past his boxers and—

"Holy shit," he exhales, because this is definitely leagues better than his imagination.

You're watching his every reaction as you slide the curve of your palm against him, as your fingers close and squeeze and tug, and it takes absolutely everything in Wonwoo not to flip your positions.

He prays for patience; he prays for grace. He prays that he doesn't finish just from a goddamn handjob.

Once you've deemed him sufficiently hard, the two of you do switch positions. Wonwoo reaches in to his bedside drawer for the condom that's been sitting there for months. (Mingyu, the cheeky bastard, had left it there as a gift. Wonwoo has never been more grateful for his best friend.)

Wonwoo snaps it on with a lot less finesse than he would've wanted. Soon enough, he's hovering over you, his fingers curled in to a white-knuckled grip around his sheets.

"I should probably stretch you out a bit," he whispers, his voice strained with the effort it's taking to keep himself together

But you shake your head, your hands catching in his dark locks as you practically drag him down. "Wonwoo, I swear," you whine. "If you don't fuck me this instant—"

It's not the hands in his hair that does it. Not the bluntness of your words.

It's that stupid, stupid whine.

Wonwoo thrusts in to you without preamble, and the scream catches in your throat as he fills you up.

"Fucking take it, then," he hisses.

Wonwoo was a bit worried that his inexperience would get in the way, but there's one thing he seems to have in common with you: He can be a pretty quick learner, too.

His thrusts are a bit clumsy and erratic, but he figures out what you like based on the sounds that you make, the way that you move.

You arch your hips up whenever he bottoms out. You whimper whenever his balls slap in to the cleft of your ass. And when his fingers finally find your bundles of nerves, you say his name so beautifully.

"Just like that, Wonu," you gasp, rendered incapable of saying his full name. He likes the way it sounds, so he rewards you with another sharp thrust. You babble on, "Fuck, yeah. That's good. You're so fucking good."

Something inside him burns, then. Enough to have him picking up the pace, to have him pressing the calloused pads of his fingers in to every inch of bare skin that he can reach.

You seem to notice his renewed vigor, and the minx that you are— despite the fact you're being fucked stupid— you give him more.

You moan that he's perfect and doing so well and so fucking hot, and his cock only bullies in to you harder with every pretty word.

"I'm not going to last—" Wonwoo warns through gritted teeth, his grip bruising on your hip. "I'm not going to last much longer if you keep talking to me like that."

His fingers are already fumbling; his pace, stuttering. He's not sure how much more praise he can take, but then you have to go and whimper about how badly you've wanted him, just like this—

Wonwoo manages to bottom out just one more time before coming undone.

The feeling of him twitching inside you, of him panting against the side of your neck, has you following not long after. It's absolutely torturous, the way you clamp down on him like you're squeezing him dry.

Wonwoo gathers his bearings enough to pull out. He heaves out a sigh and falls back on to his bed beside you, his own thighs still shaking a bit from all the effort he's exerted.

A beat. Neither of you speak; you're both too busy catching your breath, coming down from your respective highs.

But then you're sitting up, moving, and Wonwoo physically feels his heart drop.

"Where are you going?" he stammers. He can't even bring himself to sound cool about the prospect of this just being a one-time thing.

You put him out of his misery rather swiftly. At the foot of his bed, you pause, take one look at his face, and then soften significantly. Your gentle pat to his ankle is a welcome reprieve.

"We should clean up," you tell him, somehow managing to reassure his unspoken fears. "Where's your bathroom?"

"Ah— first door down the hall."

You don't pull on any of your clothes as you go, so Wonwoo doesn't bother to hide the way he watches you leave.

Once you're out his bedroom door, Wonwoo suddenly feels boneless. He sinks further in to his bed and contemplates how the hell he's going to go about this— whatever this is.

Wonwoo's overthinking is cut short when you bound back in to his room, your hands behind your back. He barely has any time to speak before your lips are on his.

It's a sweet kiss, one that catches him off-guard. He's frozen for only a millisecond before his eyes flutter close and he melts right in to you, his hand resting at the side of your face.

It's not quite the answer that he's looking for, but it's a close thing.

When you peel away, his head rises from his pillow, desperately chasing your mouth. You let out a tinkling sort of laugh before pulling your hands out from behind you— and placing his glasses on for him.

Wonwoo blinks confusedly underneath his lenses.

"Just need to make sure that you can see what you're getting in to," you tease as you push his hair out of his forehead.

He just looks at you for a second. And oh, is he done for.

"Yeah," he breathes. "I see you."

[crimsonbubble]

Phantom Pleasures

cw. nsfw, afab!reader, ghostface yunho, switch yunho, brief cockwarming, edging, mask kink, bondage, nipple play, light degradation, praise, creampie, handjob, makeshift blindfold, size kink, manhandling *not proofread, just pure horny

[this may or may not be inspired by the pics yunho posted after being in a sauna…]

taglist (dm to be tagged); @sidusvenari @sugarnspice630 @ravenempress101 @autieofthevalley @linearities @wisejudgedragonhairdo @madiexuberant @mifuelarts @straytiny127 @yun-fangz @huen1ngk41 @juyeonshour @uniq-tastic @hongjng8 @miyaluvvsyou @everyonewooeverywhere @hongjoongtime117 @oddracha @kingbloopter @jay-0n3s @ane1o2 @koyagifs

kinktober 2024 masterlist

“Fuck- Did you have to tie them this tight, you whore?” Yunho’s voice was muffled from behind the mask, shaky as you tugged the pink robbins tighter around his wrists. Yunho shuddered as you glared at him, his head tilting back when you ground your hips on him. “Fuck, okay-!”

He had completely forgotten the small bet you made before he put the mask on. If he could hold still and not blow his load while you tied him up, you wouldn’t edge him. But you kept shifting and rocking your hips as you wrapped him in ribbons. You finished tying his wrists with a pretty bow, leaning back to admire your work on him. You’re now thankful you bought extra rolls of ribbon.

You grabbed a new roll, wrapping his torso to the chair itself. You leaned forward to wrap the ribbon around him, pressing your tits up against his hard chest. You peered over his shoulder with a neutral expression, periodically swivelling your hips on him. Yunho’s cock twitched inside you, his hands balling into fists as your wet cunt tightened around him.

Yunho felt like he was suffocating, strung high and tight on pleasure. His hips bucked up, making you hiss as he nudged his cock in that tiny bit further. You lifted yourself off of him, sitting back on his thighs. Yunho bit back a whine, his hips rutting uselessly into the air. “You call me the whore yet you’re the one acting like you don’t beg to stick your dick in me.” You scoff as you harshly tug at his bonds, tightening them across his chest.

His arms are pinned to his sides, his torso glued to the back of the chair. “Take the mask off, baby. Please, I need to see you properly.” Yunho’s cock throbbed pathetically against his stomach, his tip flushed a deep rose. You rest your arms over his shoulders, pressing your tits against his chest again, knowing that he can’t see that far down with the mask in the way. The ribbons are flimsy by themselves, but you’ve wrapped them around him tight enough that it’s hard to shuffle them anywhere.

Yunho whines again, his cock leaking pathetically against his shirt, staining it. You stared at his leaking cock then the ribbon, eyes fleeting between the two before an idea popped up. Yunho watched with fluttering eyes as you wrapped the ribbon around the base of his cock. He whines, his hips jolting as you secure yet another bow around him. He could hear you laugh softly, pressing your wet cunt against his throbbing cock. You rocked your hips slowly, letting his thick length slip through your folds. “Baby, please, you’re being mean-!”

You can hear the pout in his voice, his chest heaving with harsh breaths. You raise yourself on shaky knees, stroking his cock languidly before you lowered yourself on him. Yunho let out a shuttered gasp, revelling in the tight warmth of your slippery cunt. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as you started bouncing. He can feel your tits press against him, his clenching and unclenching as you rode him. You huffed as you tore the mask off him, nearly coming as you saw how flushed he was. His cheeks, ears and neck were flushed, sweat beading along his hairline.

His eyes fluttered as he tried to hold your gaze, his cock pulsing as he hits your sweet spots. Your pussy grips him like a vice, sucking him in for more. His heart is hammering in his chest as he watches your tits bounce with your every movement. Yunho’s hips kick up, ramming his leaking tip into your sweet spot. Your cunt throbbed as you switched your bounces to deliberate grinds, knowing Yunho was on the brink of his orgasm. He whimpered softly, his cock aching as his orgasm ebbed away from him. “You’re being so unfair-!”

Your walls fluttered around his length, balling the fabric of his shirt into your hands and using it as leverage to split your pussy open on his cock. Curses fell from his lips as you fucked yourself on his thick cock. The noises would normally embarrass you but you couldn’t care less right now. The only thing on the forefront of your mind was fucking yourself stupid on your boyfriend's stupidly big cock. Yunho can only whimper and beg as you use him for your pleasure. “God- Please make me cum!”

His senses heightened as you untie the ribbon around his wrists, thanking yourself for tying some around his forearms. You tied the ribbon across his eyes with shaky hands, resuming your bounces as you felt more arousal drip out of you. Yunho’s hands immediately cup your tits, pinching and rolling your buds between his thumbs and forefingers. Your back arches as a pleasurable pain shoots through your core. Yunho’s cock throbs as you reach down to circle your fingers messily against your swollen clit. “Fuck, you’re squeezing so tight-!” His voice is shaky as he finally succumbs to his innate desires.

His load paints your walls in long ribbons, a flood of thick warmth as he comes undone. His hands fall awkwardly in his lap, more whimpers falling from his swollen lips as you chase after your high. He raises his shaky hands, ripping the blindfold off as his hips snap up to meet yours. He bites the ribbon around his forearms, undoing the remaining laces in rapid succession. Yunho’s eyes are dark and wild, like a hunter with his eye on the prize.

The ribbons around his chest fall loose, his body moving with sudden movements as he pins you to the floor. His hands pin your wrists above your head, his hips slamming into yours relentlessly. Your body jolts, trying to keep up with Yunho’s brutal pace. Your orgasm rips through you but Yunho doesn’t slow down or stop to get you through it. His hips are punishing, filling your messy cunt with his thick cock over and over, in and out.

His hips stop abruptly, making you whine as your second orgasm drifts away from you. “You’re in for it now, doll face.”

[totothewolff]

The Speed Game of Love

Toto x reader | comedy, crack humor (RuPaul's Drag Race bang), romance, fluff.

Summary: Three fierce queens will race for your love, but only one will win your heart. Could it be the spicy Carla LaTurbo Slayz, the fierce Adore D. Hammer, or the queen of England herself, GiGi Reigns? Or maybe that sexy host could get some! Hosted by the hot and only Toto Wolff. Author's note: It's short and fun. Y/N has the hots for Toto, as usual. Who doesn't?! Enjoy! Let me know your thoughts or if you have an idea, here I am."

More Toto Wolff fics right here > Masterlist

-

From the racing capital of the world is The Speed Game of Love.

And here is your host...

The hot and only Toto Wolff.

(Opening music plays, and the camera pans over the bright and sparkling stage. Toto Wolff is standing there in fullness, tallness, and hotness, just a few steps away from you. As you peek in from behind the entrance, he is looking as sexy as you expected that man to be, dressed in a sluty tight suit, his eyes set on you for a brief second making your knees and other regions jiggle as he starts the show).

"Welcome to the Speed Game of Love. I'm your hot, I mean host! Toto Wolff." he winks at you before moving to his mark at the cue.

(Cheers, gaps, and a loud moan come from the sound effect console as Toto passes a hand on his hair and smiles big and bright straight at the pro camera).

"Let's meet tonight's lucky heartracers!" he gestures with both arms to his left.

(Cut to a shot of the competitors, each one dressed in their best sickening drag looks, all sitting in white bar stool chairs next to each other)

"It's the Queen of tracks! And hearts! Adore D. Hammer!" Toto approaches a fierce-looking queen. "Ready to smash some?" Toto raises his eyebrows as he asks.

"Oh, dear, I'm more than keen for some hammer time!" Adore answers, thrusting with her hips slowly.

She's rocking a sparkly, sluty version of the iconic jumpsuit in neon yellow and black from MC Hammer's iconic "U Can't Touch This" music video, but cinched for the gods along with really high-platform sneakers.

The jumpsuit is embellished with rhinestones and sequins that shimmer and shine under the stage lights. Adore's dreadlocks hung loose around her ears but with a glamorous, over-the-top twist.

Her makeup is bold and bright, with bold eyeliner, vibrant eyeshadow, and a shining golden lip. Her skin is glowing with a subtle shimmery highlight that makes her look like she just stepped out of a disco ball.

Toto gives her a chuckle before moving along.

"Next, Carla LaTurbo Slayz!" He strolls to her, mic in hand. "Miss Turbo, I heard you got some horsepower tonight! How are you, honey?"

(After he asks the question, a loud moan is heard as a sound effect).

"I'm 'fuel'-tastic, Toto!" she blows a kiss to the camera and shows some lil' leg.

She's rocking a stunning, one-shoulder gown made from the finest silk in a rich, jewel-toned red that evokes the majestic flamenco dancers of Andalusia. The dress is fitted and figure-hugging, accentuating her curves in all the right places.

Her hair is a masterpiece; a few strategically placed braids and hairpins add a touch of Andalusian flair.

Her eyes are lined with bold, black kohl and smudged with shimmery gold eyeshadow to create a sultry, seductive gaze. Her lips are painted a deep, crimson red. Her accessories are chunky gold jewelry.

"Up next, it's GiGi Reigns. Is Your Highness ready to conquer this race?" Toto turns to her, bowing first.

"Keen to have a smooth pit stop and a great finish!" an old lady's voice with a thick Windsor accent answers.

She is rocking a look that's equal parts regal and ridiculous. She's donning a velvet-trimmed corset and hoop skirt that's so big it requires its own zip code.

The skirt is a riot of colors, with florals and patterns. GiGi's hair is a marvel; think Elizabeth I's famous ruff but on steroids! Her locks are styled in towering curls that resemble a pompadour.

Her makeup is a masterpiece of over-the-top opulence. Layers of foundation, blush, and powder are applied with the precision of the era, but they make her look old, really old, with wrinkles adorning her features.

Her accessories are an array of fake pearls that look like they belong on the Queen herself.

"Let's start your engines! Close that pit wall!" Toto instructs as the obstructing divider slides from the wall. It looks exactly like a pit wall fence but glamorous, all in metallic pink, blocking the view from both sides.  

As you are about to enter the stage, an empty, small white podium is waiting for you.

"Our wag tonight is from (Y/N's City/Country). Meet (Y/N's profession/studies), Y/N, Y/LN!" Toto introduces you as you step in, smiling at him.

"Mmm, you look good!" Toto runs his eyes all over your body as he approaches you and offers a hand to help you step on the podium.

You feel the heat instantly.

"What brings you smoking gear around here? Did your engine overheat?" Toto addresses you, starting to lean closer to you.

"I'm just looking for touch at this point!" you answer, plain and honest.

(Aww noises come from the sound effect panel).

"Uhmmhu!" Toto gets closer to you than his mark on the floor suggests. He gestures to you to articulate more as he stands by your side, slowly sliding a hand down on your back.

How you react to his touch makes him smile naughtily.

In between a nervous giggle, you explain: "I tried the apps and whatnot, but nothing worked, so my friends suggested I come here to speed up the process. You know, to look for something accelerated, fast-paced." You wink at him, gaining confidence, feeling his eyes traveling down your lips and neck.

"Oh, so you like it fast-paced? Who doesn't like to get their flag chequered hard!" Toto keeps your game of innuendos, flirting with you along.

You nod and bite your lip; he arches his eyebrow slightly.

"Then, you came to the right place!" his voice is deep, and he flexes his arm so you can enjoy the view of his muscles as Toto grabs his mic. "So, Y/N, here's how the game works: You ask the heartracers some questions, and they will try to win this lap for your heart with their answers. When the time runs out, you choose who steps into your podium. Are you ready to race?"

"I AM!" you feel pumped up!

(Engine noises are heard in the studio, indicating the start of the lap).

You read one of your cue cards. "Heartracer number one, finish the following sentence: If I was your car to run me on a race, you would leave me (blank...) at the end."

"In desperate need of a new set of wheels. Oh! I would run you relentlessly from one side of the circuit to the other!" Adore answers, jumping on her feet and doing the iconic MC Hammer moves, passing by in front of the other contestants.

You laugh and nod at the excellent answer. "And you, number two?"

"I would leave you revving for more! You would want me to run you down over and over again around these corners." LaTurbo answers with a very sexual voice, sliding her hand all over her body curves.

"And you, madam, number three?" you ask.

"At the finish line... eventually! I'm a lady of a certain age, darling." GiGi Reigns' elderly voice answers, making you and Toto burst into giggles.

"If it was me, I would have you shifting gears so hard that I would end up breaking you down. But that's me!" Toto jokes, inserting his answer there. "Let's move on to the next question, shall we, Y/N?"

"YES! Let me push that pedal all the way in!" you joke back.

"All the way in?!" Toto asks, now curious, in a high-pitched voice. "Fast-paced and all the way in. Taking notes!" He swaps his cue cards around.

"I think that one's hammer is starting to show! Haha," GiGi Reigns adds, inserting herself into the conversation, bumping Adore with her hand, and both of them taking a small peek at Toto's crotch.

"Please, give head, go ahead, I meant!" Toto jokes with you.

"Based on yourself, how would you prefer to be called if you were a fuel brand?" you ask the contestants.

"Piston Pumping, you gotta keep the hammering for miles long!" Adore gives her answer in perfect branding.

"Fuel-in' Around, just kidding," Carla waves her hand.

"The Lube for The Crown, cause at this age, darling, you need some extra help." GiGi slowly spreads open her legs, making rusted noises, cracking you up again.

"I'd be, Fuel Me Maybe, you know, like tonight, after this show," Toto flirts shamelessly as the game progresses, making it clear that he's interested in none other than you.

"Final question," you go ahead. "Imagine you are an F1 team. Sell yourself to me."

"On the Hammerella F1 Team, competition can't touch us! We are faster than you can say parachute pants!" Adore D. Hammer answers.

"On El Toro Racing, we are unleashing the bull full speed, with fury and passion and with a whole lot of rhythm, ahhhh." Carla LaTurbo's every word gets more sexual somehow as she answers your question, her hands going all over her neck and legs.

Finally is GiGi's turn: "On the Motor on the Bus, The Queen's Royal Racing Team, we race round and round, vroom and vroom, all through the town." She pauses before adding, "But with protocol, dear."

GiGi's stupid answer makes you gag.

"Oh, time is up! Y/N, who do you choose from our heartracers? Number one, two or three?" Toto comes near to you again.

Fuck! He smells so good! That's an arousing cologne.

(A dramatic pause comes before you turn straight at him to give your definitive answer).

"You," you point at Toto. "I choose you!" answering aloud to everyone's... actually... to no one's surprise!

"I'd love to take you for some good ol' laps!" he blows a kiss to you. "But first, let's meet the ones you didn't choose! Say hello to Adore D. Hammer."

"Oh! This hammer would have broken you in half, dear!" she jokes with you as she looks you up and passes along, thrusting the air on her way out.

"and Carla LaTurbo Slayz," Toto again shouts, extending his arm.

"This," she closes her hand at you, moving it around your body, "Has red flag all over," she says, belittling you as she goes out, pretending to be insulted by you rejecting her.

"Finally, GiGi Reigns! Madam..." Toto bows one last time.

GiGi takes her time walking there, making grunt noises as she grabs her back, complaining, making you two lose it.

"I, TOO, CAN COMMAND THE WIND, SIR!" She screams out of nowhere in the most Shakespearean voice, catching you two off guard.

Like GiGi got possessed for a second before she composes herself and gives "royal hand waves" politely as she dramatically exits.

"WHHAAT?" you say, catching your breath between laughs.

"Ready to blow my engine?" Toto triumphantly asks, holding you up like a trophy as he wraps his arm around your waist.

"Against the pit wall?!" you joke around, laughing on his lips, standing next to it.

"Another Speed Game of Love with a... happy ending! To me!" Toto winks. "Good night, everybody!"

(You two wave at the lense before you wrap him in a passionate kiss as the camera cuts to black)

You don't make it further than his dressing room.

The audio crew picks up the loud moans and smashing noises coming from there, as Toto is still wired, and they quickly turn off the equipment.

Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd

[writermonth]

; [ Wedding guest]

• ───────────────── •

Warning/Tagging : idk how to tag, one shot, Felix's POV, setting in end of the first movie, Turbo is still dead(?) but he's ghost now, 80s boyfriend, Hammer-tastic, I guess?

Wordcount : 3.4k

Summary : Felix having a best time of his life in his wedding but.. it's look like this wedding have a special guest he doesn't expect to be here

A/N : This is literally my first fanfic I’m writing in English

——————— •

The church's bell has a ringing just like when the bright light goes inside of the white church to make it even more beautiful. So many people are here for the wedding of Felix and Calhoun. For some of them this might be the first wedding they ever see but no one ever feels special but also nervousness more than Felix himself

His big blue eyes looked around the place with a soft smile. Most of his friends are here even Ralph after what they have faced before look like they become good friends like never before. The smile started to get a bit nervous when he saw The hero's duty' soldier with full armor and their big weapon. Can't blame them, the thing that happened to his future wife is terrible but everyone make sure that it'll never happened again

" I hate to be in this dress!? How long will this take? "

The voice of the little girl attracts Felix's attention; it belongs to Vanellope, the kid that Ralph has been helping during the cybug day thing. She look uncomfortable in that little pink dress

" Well, kinda a while but after the kiss can change back to your normal clothes "

He replied her before then the bell is ringing again it's a sign for everyone to stay in there place

Soon, sounds of Wedding music start as a background.The handyman standing with priest waiting the bride to come out and not for long the tall woman with beautiful white dress slowly walking out of the big door

Felix's eyes can't get away from her. He had never seen someone so beautiful before in his life... That make him smiling with happiness

Everyone looks at Calhoun like he's the brightest diamond of this place. Two sugar rush's racer following her as a flower girl they both look nice to in cute white little dressed with flowers crown on their head

He started to look around again... Everything looks perfect, everyone seems to be full of joy just like himself... Until he saw someone that shouldn't be here

His blue eyes open wide, it's a shock more than surprising. Among the soldier in big black armor there's little short man that almost can't see sitting with them

The soft gray skin with bright yellow eyes, short black abyss hair surrounded with red glitch all over his body... That guy is Turbo

But it's impossible!? He should be dead already but looks like it's only Felix who can see the racer everyone around Turbo act like he wasn't there. But even more surprised when Turbo is also wearing the white tuxedo along with red flowers on his chest that's kinda fit on him

As long as he looks at the racer it makes the handyman feel like seeing a ghost. It was confusing and scary until they looked each other in the eyes... Turbo start giving him a warm smile before thumbs-up for Felix like what he usually does back in the old day

Felix can't look away from Turbo. Why is he doing that? Why is he here.. but when he looks deep into the bright yellow it looks.. a little bit sad?

" Is there something wrong? "

Calhoun's voice makes him flash to reality again. The handyman quickly looking back at her have no idea when did she stand front of him with that confused face

" Oh- it's... " He look back at the place Turbo was to sit but.. he's no longer there

The racer gone just like a ghost

" ... it's nothing, dear. Let continue this "

He replied to her to make everything back to normal again. But deep inside Felix can't get those golden eyes out of him mind

——————— •

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

Happy December, once more!

"You know the damn deal by now, it's December so I've got holiday themed food items untill, eh let's say about January 10th that will be the final day you can order these items!"

1: A Holiday Chatter Phone Christmas Themed Cup (45.50$)

Just as described it's an exact replica of a chatter phone but it has see-through eyes and it's Christmas themed simply stick a straw into the Santa hat and enjoy 20$ worth of drinks at roomba fazbender's completely free after purchase!

2: Bedlam's Christmas Pudding (10$)

Stolen from the fridge of bedlam the chaos god, Charlie's good old friend, he just keeps making more and is confused why it keeps going missing having no idea charlie has put it on his menu.

He dosen't even think it's Charlie cause Charlie won't eat real food.

3: Piurish (300$)

It's a pig stuffed with two turkey's and the two turkey's are stuffed with two largemouth bass perfect for a large family to enjoy their Christmas dinner! or lonely people who want enough food to last them a few weeks.

4: Robert's Steak Fries (15.35$)

It's a recipe for fries made of acutal steak, aka it's just raw piece's of steak cut up into the shape of fries ... no we won't cook it you can feed it to your pets or service animals if you want it's unseasoned too.

5: Chuck's Toy-tastic Bubble Pot Pie (6$ per slice)

It's a rhubarb cream pie made by chuck with supervision by Roomba Renaldo, Chuck wanted to help make something himself this year Charlie begrudgingly said yes.

Half the money from each purchase will go back to Chuck. (it will likely be eaten by him too)

6: Peppermint Tea (3.00$)

It's litearly just a 2 liter bottle of tea.

7: Roomba Fazbenders™ Sugar Cookies (12.00$)

It's a container of sugar cookies designed after the roombas, the walrus and charlie also his friends.

8: Smalahove (25.50$)

Smalahove is a Western Norwegian traditional dish it's basically a cooked sheep's head.

9: Christmas Eggs (6.99$)

A dozen deviled eggs with either green or red yolks.

(The green ones are the vegetarian option filled with string beans.)

(The red ones are filled with shrimp chunks.)

10: Chocolate Lava Candy Cane Infused Cake (15$)

Just as advertised it's a chocolate lava cake but with candy cane chunks inside it.

11: Chaos Tacos ($3.99)

It's a plate of 4 tacos, all four have different types of meat every order of this will always have different meats and they also each come with different cheese too.

12: Glass Replica of Abel Brannigan's Phone Head. (10.25$)

All phone guys get a 5$ discount on this item, feel the pleasure of breaking this stupid bastard's head, throw it against the wall, smash it with a hammer, stomp it with your feet do whatever! Get out your anger who's the reason phone guys exist.

Bonus Items!

Due to poplar demand a few items from the previous Christmas menu's!

13: Hot Walrus Chocolate (2.00$)

It’s hot chocolate but made with walrus milk! (Now Sliverjack Free!)

14: Spiked Cranberry Sause (6:25$)

It’s cranberry sause made with cranberry’s and Smirnoff Ice Raspberry Flavored Vodka 

15: Blood Nog (1.99$)

It’s Eggnog with Pigs Blood! Charlie watched the original Carrie movie and decided why not make a holiday drink based on it?

16: Christmas Water (10.00$)

It’s water imported from the north poll with a sticker saying “Santa's Bath Water.” With a tiny floating Santa toy inside.

[lultimagoccia]

@funiculiholiday is calling , pick up phone!

You have a customer, Peppino! He's a TALL slice of pizz-- I mean, a tall drink of water. He is sporting a fantastic, totally not fake mustache. A fedora and trenchcoat make him look very approachable and not suspicious at all. Clown nose? No, he's just got a cold. "Well HELLO there, Mista Peppino Spaghetti! It's WONDERFUL ta meet'cha for the first time, ever!" He leans on the counter, inspecting his nails. He is wearing cartoon gloves, he cannot see them. "I'd like ta order one'a your fan-tastic pizzas, if I may~..."

hm. HMM. something about this guy ... it feels familiar! like an old grudge left to simmer, business left unfinished ...

the pizza chef fixes his customer in an INTENSE stare, as if trying to connect their presence to an identity, dredging through the banks of memory for a name to put to the partially - obscured face. the fellow's hat is quite fashionable and his mustache quite respectably trimmed. but for some reason, pepp's heart is starting to hammer against ribs and his grip on the counter is getting tight. random surges of anger are nothing new for him, but he sure feels like he's braced for a fight more - so than is typical for him.

" ... of course, signore. what kind you thinkin' about today? " peppino asks, still regarding the guy as if trying to figure out how he knows him.

[italiangothicwriteblr]

Hey there! 10 and 13 for the fan-tastic asks? 💖

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

Which scene from your WIP would make good fanart fodder?

The scene from chapter one where everything's gone to shit, and Cloelia crawls into bed with Nova like when they were kids and they're just laying there, waiting for the hammer to drop would be great for cute siblings fanart.

Nova and Livia's first kiss that Adrasteia walks in on of course.

The Enrico/Giacomo beatdown scene from Chapter 5, when Enrico is just beating the crap out of him

What line from your WIP would your fandom constantly quote?

"She'd risk the stake to have this for as long as she could" I hope

Also anything Enrico has ever said he's a legend.

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Correct me if we have a canonical profession for Steve’s dad but I am currently imagining him as a lawyer who makes those absolutely cringe-tastic ads that run on local cable and radio. Like he's a local hero but he calls himself "The Indiana Hammer" and his ads involve the absolute pinnacle of 1980s cringe sfx and costuming. Baby Steve probably shows up in one or two

[mocacheezy]

Getting over the terror of being despised and yelled at because I arrived somewhere late, sure as fuck ain't easy when this thing has been hammered into my brain since I was 7 years old, but on day like this? When I wake up early and leave home, and not feel like I'm gonna burst into tears when I text that I'll be there about half an hour late?

Lemme tell ya, despite the knots in my stomach rn, at the end of the day the feeling is fan-fuckin'-tastic.

[bitter69uk]

Recommended Halloween viewing: Elvira’s Haunted Hills (2001) (tagline: “Evil. Terror. Lust. Some girls really know how to party!”), starring the perennially fabulous Cassandra Peterson aka television’s beloved wisecracking and boob-tastic horror movie hostess (and the undisputed Queen of Halloween) Elvira. Lower your expectations and don’t expect it to equal the rollicking immaculate conception that is Peterson’s previous film Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) – which is a bona fide cult classic – and the lesser-known Hills possesses its own endearingly goofy low-brow charms. Filmed on location in Transylvania and set in 1851, it offers an affectionate pastiche of 1960s Hammer Horror and Roger Corman’s Edgar Allan Poe movies. The action sees Elvira - a hybrid of Mae West and Morticia Addams - en route to a cabaret engagement in Paris, accompanied by her long-suffering French maid Zou Zou (Mary Jo Smith). After a series of wacky mishaps, they take refuge in an eerie medieval castle in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania inhabited by the cursed aristocratic Hellsubus family. Hills was a personal labour of love for Peterson. In her fun, juicy 2021 autobiography Yours Cruelly, Elvira: Memoirs of the Mistress of the Dark, she recounts the low-budget independent film’s challenging production. (Peterson and her then-husband riskily invested their own money – something they regretted when the film tanked upon release!) Still, Peterson looks ravishing, and her comedic timing is delightfully on point throughout. A highlight: a character exclaims, “The village people say this castle is evil.” “Ah!” Elvira shrugs and rolls her eyes. “Who listens to the Village People anymore?” Watch the trailer here.

Elvira’s Haunted Hills (2001) directed by Sam Irvin and written by Cassandra Peterson and John Paragon

[hammertimeconstruction]

Hammertime Construction: We Make Renovations Hammertastic!

Hello, Sewell & Cherry Hill, NJ, homeowners! Tired of unreliable contractors and high prices? At Hammertime Construction, we’re here to make renovations affordable and stress-free! Since 2015, we’ve built a reputation for quality, trust, and competitive pricing. From bathroom remodels to full makeovers, we handle every detail so you can focus on designing your dream space. Contact us for a free consultation and let’s make your home ‘hammer-tastic’!

📞 Contact us today at 856-975-1168 🌐 See our work and start your transformation!

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[bigspaceblogs]

DIY or Die-Trying? Fun and Easy Design Projects You Can Tackle This Weekend

Ready to ditch the couch this weekend and inject some fresh energy into your home? Skip the shopping sprees and get your hands dirty with some fun and easy DIY design projects! Don't worry, no demolition hammers or engineering degrees required. Just a sprinkle of creativity, a dash of resourcefulness, and a healthy dose of "I can do this!" attitude.

Project #1: Master of Makeovers:

Give old furniture a new lease on life: Transform that dusty dresser with a coat of bold paint, swap out tired drawer pulls for funky knobs, or decoupage it with colorful patterned paper.

Upcycle forgotten treasures: Turn vintage suitcases into chic side tables, old ladders into plant stands, or mason jars into hanging lamps. The possibilities are endless!

Repurpose everyday items: Create a magazine rack from old crates, a coat rack from driftwood, or a whimsical headboard from recycled pallets. Embrace the "waste not, want not" spirit!

Project #2: Tex-Tastic Transformation:

Craft custom throw pillows: Grab some colorful fabric scraps, a sewing machine (or needle and thread, for the brave!), and whip up unique pillowcases to add pops of personality to your sofa or bed.

Go wild with wall hangings: Macrame a boho-chic dreamcatcher, weave a tapestry from yarn scraps, or create a gallery wall of framed fabric swatches. Let your inner artist shine!

Refresh lampshades: Ditch the boring store-bought ones! Cover them with patterned fabric, paint them with geometric designs, or even embellish them with buttons or sequins. Get creative!

Project #3: Green Thumb Magic:

Build your own herb garden: Repurpose an old ladder, a vintage cabinet, or even a wooden pallet into a vertical herb haven. Fresh herbs, happy home!

Create miniature terrariums: Find some cute glass containers, gather moss, soil, and tiny succulents, and build your own little green worlds. Perfect for adding a touch of nature to your desk or bookshelf.

Get crafty with plants: Paint terracotta pots with fun designs, macrame plant hangers, or make adorable plant covers from recycled materials. Your greenery will thank you!

Bonus Tip: Don't be afraid to get messy! DIY projects are all about letting go and having fun. Embrace the imperfections, learn from your mistakes, and most importantly, celebrate your own creativity.

So, this weekend, put down the phone, grab your toolbox (or just scissors and glue!), and get crafting! You might surprise yourself with what you can achieve. Remember, DIY is not about perfection, it's about making your space your own. And trust me, there's nothing more satisfying than seeing your own little creation come to life and add a touch of personal magic to your home.

Now go forth, DIY warriors! Let your creativity flow and transform your space into a masterpiece of your own making. And hey, if all else fails, there's always pizza delivery and Netflix as a backup plan.

[blissfulxsins]

Undrunk-C.Fisher

warnings: underage drinking, fluff, female reader, vomiting

You were drunk. and not in the haha funny way, you were hammered. Fresh off your breakup with Conrad Fisher you were a woman on a mission. After all mama always said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. And so far this mission was a success, you were feeling great as the alcohol ran through your veins and you pulled Ryan or Ricky or... if you were honest you didn't remember his real name. but that didn't matter, all that mattered to you was that he was helping you forget Conrad Fisher, well sort of. I mean you couldn't help but compare everyone to the boy that broke your heart less than 3 weeks ago, everyone always seemed to fall short.

"Let's go y/n." Steven said as he drug you away from Robert.

"I'm not ready to leave yet, i'm having a blast with Reece here." You slurred as you giggled happily before the guy you had been kissing looked offended.

"It's Sebastian." He said as you let out another drunken laugh, Steven pulling you in the other direction as he shoved you blindly in the back of his car.

You protested once before Steven's death glare cut you off and you finished the ride to the summer house in silence.

"Is she okay?" You heard Conrad's voice ask from outside the door as you released the contents of your stomach into the bowl. As it turned out, Rum and Vodka did not mesh well.

"She's fine, no thanks to you." Steven snapped as the Fisher boy sighed.

"No Con, you fucked up! My little sister! I told you to leave her alone but you had to drag her down with you." Steven continued as you interrupted their conversation by pushing your way into the hallway pretending to be oblivious of the two before you.

You fell face first on your mattress after you shut your door behind you, a quiet knock hitting the door shortly after.

'What?" You mumbled as you heard the door swing open and shut quietly again.

"Y/N?" the voice you wanted to hear the least echoed through the room.

"What do you want Conrad?" you groaned as you shifted further up the mattress drunkenly.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay.." He trailed off.

"Okay? I'm fan fuckin tastic." You slurred slightly as you cuddled into your pillow.

"What do you care anyways? you hate me remember." You shrugged.

"Y/N...I could never hate you" he said as he ran his hand through his hair messily. His eyes bore holes in yours as if a secret message were behind them. your heart picked up before you shook your head in disbelief

"Don't do that." You snapped softly.

"what?" he croaked

"Pretend you give a shit about me."

[rwbybutincorrect]

Nora: What does "non-sentient" mean? Weiss: Without thought. An object. Such as, say, your hammer. Nora: You mean Hammy, the Ham-tastical Hammer? Weiss: Or your vest. Nora: Armand Vestinghole? Weiss: Or you, apparently. Nora: Oh, see? I knew we'd get there!