#hamlet is SO mentally ill

[lizardrosen]

Let My Disclaiming From a Purposed Evil

Everything is coming together. Laertes has a plan, and it’s a good one. He gets what he wants and Hamlet gets what he deserves, and his sister gets to rest and his father gets to be proud of him for once. It’s a good plan, and the king may have guided him some of the way but this was still all his own choice.

So why isn’t he happy?

Well, how could anyone be happy after seeing Hamlet’s face when he clambered from the grave and demanded that Laertes prove his love for Ophelia? It would have been easy to dismiss it as a childish bid for attention and he wanted to dismiss it, but as Hamlet writhed on the ground shouting about crocodiles it became inescapably clear that something about him was just not right. It’s clear that Hamlet is not in control of himself, at least not the Hamlet who hugged Laertes goodbye five months ago.

Hamlet is not his madness but his madness is a part of him, jostling for space with the anger of grief and the fascination with death and the cloying sweetness of having all his worst suspicions confirmed, and all the people he had to shove to the corners of his mind because his position as prince prohibited him from becoming them. No matter which Hamlet or non-Hamlet was in charge, the same fingers pulled that trigger, and there is a death outstanding. The mad laughing prince is the price.

[montypng]

every once in a while i remember that one xmen fic i read ages ago that put pietro maximoff through the most gruesome, agonizing, and soul-crushing time loop experience i have ever seen before or since and well. i am not even into xmen that much . i will never forget it.

[lena-thinks-too-much]

also Jason is literally a child? Like he was 15 when he died. It's sort of unclear how old he is when he comes back but like he's definitely under legal drinking age. Like that is a whole ass traumatized child. He is a child who has lost all the important teen years of learning to grow out of being a child and into an adult. Why are people expecting him to be more emotionally well adjusted than the literal adults here

On the Jason is being just dramatic (in regards to being traumatized by his own death), it's genuinely so weird, because Bruce canonically spent 6 months lashing out at criminals and being reckless and overly violent to the point that it was being reported that he was on the 'rampage'. And both him and Dick had hallucinations of Jason regarding his death. His mistreatment of Steph (that led to her death - even if later retconned she was still tortured) was canonically a response to Jason's death. Bruce hit Dick and Dick lashed out violently at Danny Chase (I know Danny said Jason's death was no big deal due to understandable character reasons, but Bruce victim blamed Jason to his face in Hush which was before UTRH and everything).

But both Dick and Bruce's stans (as well as stans of other characters like Tim) seem to think that Jason should be immediately over his death while simultaneously understanding that they couldn't have expected Dick or Bruce to get over such a tragic event. Jason didn't just get an immediate resurrection like a lot of characters, he lost years, everyone moved on from him while he was gone. (I've seen characters who just got sent forward in time have their trauma respected more). Bruce didn't even get over Jason's death when Jason came back to life, but somehow Jason should?

Jason didn't even have a support network like they did but it somehow supposed to get over his trauma just so he can't lash out at other people's faves? Either death is no big deal, in which case everyone is being over dramatic (including Dick and Bruce), or death is a big deal, hence no one is being over dramatic (including Jason).

!!!! YES ITS ABOUT THE DOUBLE STANDARD

Why are Bruce and Dick’s reactions justified by the narrative while Jason’s is an over reaction?

Also the Jason was dead for YEARS thing. EXACTLY. People who hate Jason are always bringing up everyone else’s deaths (specifically Ollie and Hal usually which I just think is ironic bc THEY SEE JASON IN HEAVEN) but Jason’s was DIFFERENT. I suppose MAYBE a comparison could be made to Ollie narratively but that’s a stretch tbh.

And I specifically mean NARRATIVELY. Irl Jason was dead for almost TWENTY YEARS. I’m not exaggerating when I say Jason’s death is one of the most important things DC has ever done. It is absolutely different from anything else they ever did and to act like it wasn’t is just ignorance

But yeah, if you’re going to justify the outside characters reactions to Jason’s death you can’t turn around and say the character IT HAPPENS TO was in the wrong or being over dramatic

[saffaggot]

EXCSE ME??? THERE WAS GONNA BE A MUPPETS ADAPTION WHERE GONZO AND FOZZIE PLAYED ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ??? HELLLOOO ????? 

[lina-studen]

"something floral": literature student blabbering about the usage of flower symbolism in "nevermore", how it ties to the theme of insanity and a little bit (a lot) about shakespeare.

from lenore's perspective, flowers are closely associated with isolation caused by her trauma and supposed "hysteria". floral pattern wallpaper accompanied her loneliness for days, months, even years. image of the flowers signaled that lenore's position would remain unchanged, that she was stuck, that she would continue to slowly loosing the clarity of her mind.

having torn the wallpaper off the walls, lenore believes that she will never see this image again, but flowers continue to accompanying her. lenore sees them again during her first meeting with annabel lee. and during the last one, too. she may have managed to get out of her lonely room, gain more strength in her legs, find a new friend, but lenore is still trapped. she's the daughter disowned by her parents, a stain on the family reputation that must be hidden forever. the image of flowers doesn't let her forget about it.

similar symbolism is also not alien to annabel lee. episode 66 is interesting in particular, because it directly quotes ophelia's monologue. I'm a big fan of shakespeare, it was he who instilled in me an interest in floral symbolism. a year ago, for a conference on foreign literature, I wrote an article about flower language of "hamlet". it's not available in english, but I'll list down some points that I considered relevant regarding "nevermore".

• rosemary can serve as a keepsake between lovers and also between the dead and the living. it could be seen at both weddings and funerals. in the old days it was also believed to be helpful in mental illnesses treatment.

• pansies, just like violets, symbolize innocence and devotion. ophelia doesn't consider the people around her worthy of violets, since she blames them for the death of her father.

• rue is a symbol of eternal suffering; grieving over her murdered father and the loss of her beloved hamlet, ophelia leaves some of the flowers for herself.

• the image of daisies has a close connection with the concepts of innocence, fidelity and eternal love. in shakespeare's tragedy, this symbol is overshadowed by the fact that in the world around ophelia there's no place for these beautiful things. for "nevermore" the symbol is also not so positive, since the readers are already familiar with daisies. they were on that wallpaper in lenore's room.

it's impossible not to note that annabel lee recites the monologue while in the bath, in the water. ophelia decides not to resist the river flow. her life turned into a tragedy: she was left without a father, her lover has seemingly lost his mind. her own sanity is also called into question. ophelia sings cryptic songs, goes into the field to weave a wreath, gives flowers to other characters. in the eyes of those around them, hamlet and ophelia seem crazy, while being the only sane and honest people among them. there's no place for tender, innocent ophelia in a cruel, deceitful world, so she drowns.

annabel lee also reflects on how both she and lenore are considered madwomen. her meeting with "leo" is accompanied by floral pattern on the annabel's dress. their madness is contextual, they both are perfectly sane, but don't fit into the system that could be leading to real madness with time. "all madwomen die twice. at least twice".

now about the arboretum. it obviously has a lot of flowers, but in my opinion this place is interesting in a different context. lenore and annabel visited the arboretum twice to discuss upcoming plans and such, and there are many parallels, both visual and narrative. not much time has passed since last time, but their situation has changed. they seem to look on their past selves from the upper level, having their conflict more acute now. I'll make a more detailed post about it later.

and now I'll just focus on how the characters in this arboretum full of roses behave as lost and confused as in the phobia-inducing flower labyrinth from earlier episodes. “the closer you get to beautiful flowers, the closer you get to their thorns,” says duke in episode 38. the flower imagery haunting the main characters doesn't let them forget that their sanity is always on a verge of slipping. and once a flower falls from its stem, it cannot be fixed.

p.s. guess which writer’s works I chose for a new article this year?

[princeloww]

DAVID TENNANT ROLES STARTERPACK

(Different roles, where to find them and what they're like!!!) (+ more that I didn't go into included at the end)

*disclaimer: this is sort of UK orientated, 'cos I don't know any American streaming services or where stuff is available in other countries, so PLEASE comment other places you can watch things!!!!

- Takin' Over the Asylum (CAMPBELL BAIN)

Follows a DJ and a group of patients trying to keep a radio station going in a mental hospital. David plays one of the main characters, Campbell Bain, a mostly upbeat and energetic young boy with lots of enthusiasm and spirit. Some angst!

☆ YOUTUBE (free)

- Blackpool (PETER CARLISLE)

A body is found in an arcade run by Ripley Holden, and him and his entire family are pulled into the murder investigation surrounding it. DI Peter Carlisle is working on the case, and highly suspicious of Ripley. He's a pretty major character and has a romantic plot - as well as a few funny musical numbers. Includes sex scenes.

☆ UKTV PLAY (free in UK), AMAZON PRIME VIDEO

- Casanova (GIACOMO CASANOVA)

The (mostly sexual) adventures of Giacomo Casanova, a charming and fraudulent man who falls in love very quickly and very dramatically with a lot of people, all while essentially bullshitting through life and jumping on every opportunity to make money. Includes sex scenes but also angst, such as illness, injuries, some violence, and general suffering.

☆ MYFLIXERX.TO (free), AMAZON

- Recovery (ALAN HAMILTON)

A man and his family coping with the recovery and rehabilitation process after he (Alan, David Tennant) suffers from brain damage. Angsty. Lots of crying, suicide references, head injury stuff.

☆ YOUTUBE (free)

- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (BARTY CROUCH JR)

I recommend pirating this one so you're not supporting JK Rowling. DT plays Barty Crouch JR, an antagonist and the son of Barty Crouch. He's kind of a minor character, as he's not actually in a lot of scenes.

☆ Probably on most pirating sites (my go to is MYFLIXERX.TO)

- Learners (CHRISTOPHER ??)

Lighthearted movie about a woman trying to pass her driving test. David plays Chris, her driving instructor. He's a bit of a dork, very sweet and kind. Has a love plot, briefly fights a guy. No major angst.

☆ YOUTUBE (free)

- Hamlet (HAMLET)

Hamlet. Prince of Denmark wants vengeance after his father's death. I haven't actually watched this one yet but I assume it's got the same amount of angst and drama as Hamlet typically does.

☆ AMAZON PRIME VIDEO

- Single Father (DAVE TYLER)

After a fatal car accident, Dave Tyler (DT) is left to parent four children on his own. Still struggling through grief, Dave falls in love again and attempts to hide it. Has LOTS of crying, lots of kissing, sex scenes, DT being miserable and sobbing, etc.

☆ MYFLIXERX.TO (free)

- Rex Is Not Your Lawyer (REX ALEXANDER)

Unaired pilot. Only 40 minutes. Show wasn't picked up, but it is very good. Rex is a successful and skilled lawyer who is forced to stop practising when he starts having panic attacks every time he speaks in court. He decides instead to coach people who want to represent themselves. Lots of DT in very tight suits. American accent. Not MAJOR angst but he does has daddy issues and a panic disorder, so.

☆ YOUTUBE (free)

- Fright Night (PETER VINCENT)

A kid discovers that his neighbour is a vampire, and he seeks out a famous vampire slayer to help him. Peter Vincent (DT) does not live up to his name, and turns out to actually be sort of pathetic. No major angst, not a lot of clothes, no romance, but lots of eyeliner. He's very bisexual. Violence, vampire horror, creepy neighbour.

☆ DISNEY+, AMAZON PRIME

- The Decoy Bride (JAMES ARBER)

Celebrity Lara Tyler tries to get married to her author fiancé James Arber, but the paparazzi interrupts the wedding. Desperate to keep it private, she takes James to the island that he based his book on. Somehow, the paparazzi still find them, and they hire a decoy bride to pretend to be Lara. Romance, kissing, light hearted, minimal angst. David in a funny outfit. Fake dating trope?

☆ AMAZON PRIME

- Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger (Donald and Roderick Peterson)

Sequel to Nativity, but you don't need to watch the first one. Primary school teacher Donald Peterson (DT) is forced to take his class to Wales to participate in A Song For Christmas, a festive singing competition. Here he is put against his twin brother, who is a successful composer and with whom he has a strained relationship. Light angst - lots of daddy issues, but generally sweet.

☆ AMAZON, I think its on NOW TV???

- The Escape Artist (WILL BURTON)

A defence lawyer, Will Burton, gets a murderer off free, and very quickly grows to regret it, when his client comes after his family next. Lots of murder. Like three murders I think. Hot lawyer DT.

☆ AMAZON (I can't believe I forgot this one)

- What We Did On Our Holiday (DOUG MCLEOD)

A family go to Scotland for their grandfather's 70th birthday. Doug (DT) and his wife (Rosamund Pike) are getting a divorce, but are hiding it from the rest of the family. Movie is mostly focused on the kids and their grandad, but David has a few moments, and he's generally present throughout. Funny, slightly shocking at times, family film. No major angst. Character death.

☆ AMAZON PRIME

- Richard II (RICHARD II)

Shakespeare's Richard II. David plays the titular character, the extravagant, heartless and cold King of England, Richard II. We see his fall from grace as he is stripped of everything he owns and knows. Quite angsty. Long hair, androgynous David. Queer kiss scene (although they are cousins, soo...)

☆ you can find a link in a REDDIT comment if you search for it, AMAZON PRIME

- Broadchurch (ALEC HARDY)

An eleven-year-old boy is murdered in a small town, sending shock-waves through the community. Story follows both the family and communities response to the crime, as well as the investigation done by DI Alec Hardy (DT) and DS Ellie Miller (Olivia Coleman). Lots of angst from Alec. He is sick and hiding it. Injury, dizziness, panic attacks, that sort of thing - as well as a heart attack. He has a lot of trauma and daddy issues. Season three touches on topics of rape (warning).

- Mad To Be Normal (RD LIANG)

Biopic about RD Liang, a Scottish psychiatrist. Sex, misogyny, mental health topics, some self-harm (done by another character)

☆ AMAZON (sensing a pattern)

- Good Omens (CROWLEY)

An angel (Michael Sheen) and a demon work together to stop the end of the world. Queer romance (canon), some angst. Drama, comedy, LGBTQ+. David plays Crowley, the demon (who "sauntered vaguely downwards" rather than fell from heaven)

☆ AMAZON PRIME

- Staged (DAVID TENNANT)

A COVID lockdown comedy about David Tennant and Michael Sheen talking via Zoom during the lockdown. Actually quite sad at times? Mostly silly, though. Features Georgia Tennant and Anna Lundberg.

☆ BBC Iplayer (UK) (or VPN)

- Around The World in 80 Days (PHILEAS FOGG)

Phileas Fogg, a quiet and reserved man, decides to travel around the world in 80 days, after he receives an anonymous postcard calling him a coward. Cute found family, drama, angst (ex-lover stuff, internalised cowardice, illness, near death experience), some violence. There's a scene where Phileas gets flogged (whipped, essentially) quite violently, and it's somewhat graphic. Touches on themes of racism. Phileas is 100% neurodivergent.

☆ BBC Iplayer (UK) (or VPN)

- Inside Man (HARRY WATLING)

DT plays a vicar, Harry, who is involved in a murder after trying to protect his son - who was accused of having CP. Suicide themes, murder, self-harm - explores the idea that any person can murder, if they're pushed the right way. Includes topics to do with CP and pedophilia.

☆ NETFLIX, AMAZON

- Litvinenko (LITVINENKO)

Biopic about Alexander Litvinenko. A group of detectives investigate the poisoning of Litvinenko. David is bald in this show. (Scary)

☆ ITVX (UK) (or VPN)

- Doctor who (10TH AND 14TH DOCTORS)

Do I need to explain Doctor Who???? David Tennant plays the tenth and fourteenth regenerations of The Doctor, a Time Lord from outerspace. He travels around in the TARDIS with human companions.

☆ BBC Iplayer (UK)

I think I'm gonna leave it there, but there are a LOT that I have not touched on. This post is a very accurate and long list of everything on DT's filmography, so i recommend you check that out.

Other things I didn't mention (off the top of my head):

There She Goes, Bad Samaritan, Einstein and Eddington, Rab. C Nesbitt, Bright Young Things, LA Without a Map, Much Ado About Nothing, Duck Patrol, True Love, Gracepoint, Camping (US), Nan's Christmas Carol, Mary Queen of Scots, (You, Me and Him), Secret Smile, Deadwater Fell, Jessica Jones, Dramarama, Spies of Warsaw, AND A LOT MORE. (+ voice acting roles, and also his narrating work on Spy In The Wild (2017)

[imbecominggayer]

Writing Insanity And The Descent

From @differentnighttale we have : "How do you write a character's slow descent to madness?"

"Also hi ,been a while." Sorry, for that. I've been trying to be a little bit less chronically online and little bit less reliant on external validation and the dopamine boosts of replies, mentions, and likes so I stopped for a while.

But I am here! In this post, we'll cover what insanity is, how to write it, and some examples!

A) What Is Insanity?

Insanity is traditionally described as a total seperation from reality with an inability to distinguish between reality and fiction. While this is rarely used in criminal and definitely not used in psychology, it's a term used frequently in literature to describe certain examples of unreliable narrators, which are characters that, in cases of insanity, are mentally incapable of giving an objective summary of the real-world story as it is objectively happening, and often times, the antagonist or tragedy.

Insanity in stories, but not necessarily in real-life so don't use it as an example of real-life people since the symptoms I'm going to be discussing are possessed by real, lovely people, is often shown through:

Anti-social behavior with anti-social meaning 'against society and acting in a total contrarian way to societal behavior such as politeness, public decency, and niceness'

Hallucinations, experiencing something that does not exist but believing it does

Obsession, a fixation on something or someone that impedes on ADLs (activities of daily living such as cleaning, cooking, working, and home maintance) or negatively impact their life in general

Delusion, fixed false beliefs that can't be dissuaded no matter the evidence.

Criminal Activity

Erratic Mood Swings that involve rapid-cycling between heightened states of emotions that are not proportional to the events and are not due to intervening circumstances such as the grief

B) How To Write It

This depends on who the character is. When it's the pov character experiencing the 'slow descent into insanity', it gives the writer more opportunities to include subtle hints at the character's slipping away from the sane coil but there is a specific format that tends to follow the 'slow descent into madness' storyline.

The Set-Up. The set-up is dependent on the themes being portrayed. Rosemary's Baby used the plot of a woman incorrectly thinking she is going crazy to discuss themes of bodily autonomy and women's rights. The victimed character could be a wealthy heiress, a stepford wife, a child, an elderly man, or whomever. However, typically their starting environment is already filled with sore spots, weaknesses. There may have been a traumatic backstory that gives the protagonist mental weaknesses, they may have a tendency towards fantasy like Edna in The Awakening by Kate Chopin, they may have mental illness, they may be oppressed or stressed, either way, there are things brewing in the background

2. Either: The Desire and/or The Trigger. The "Desire" is the goal. For Hamlet, it was avenging his father. For the Joker (2019), it was a love interest. Either way, they want something and often times, this something is either their escape from the bad stuff in their life or it's their sword in the stone, their last stake in the heart of life. The "Trigger" is either the Desire itself, as in the case with Edna's Robert in The Awakening prompting her start to fantasy, or a huge change. It can be moving to a new town, it can be a traumatic abuse, it can be losing money as in cases of rich becoming poor, it can be war, it can be anything as long as it's a shaking change.

3. Subtle Signs. This depends on how the madness impacts them, themes, the cause, and whole host of factors. It can be an enlightening thing that causes them to start doing outwardly happy things like getting into art and other passions, it can be working hard at their job, or it can be a certain enjoyable impulsiveness like asking out that barista. However, it can also start off a bit bag. Like Harry Osborn's irritability causing a short fuse. It can be Hamlet's paranoia and anxiety. In general, expect small signs of anxiousness, impulsiveness, mania, a return to an almost childish state, tiredness, and flights of fancy

4. The Desire. Or More. If the desire hasn't come up, this is where it will. If it has, this is where is expedites. The character will wish to engage in their desire more. They may obsess over the long lost love of their dreams that they always thought as gone but with this new confidence, they think they can steal them away from their husband. They may be fired from their job and think they can get their dream job. They may steal something to pay for somethings. OBSESSION STARTS HERE!

5. The Reveal. They may never get it completely revealed, if you want it to be ambigious but you tend to have the big "this person ain't well moment" in stories that throw into question past scenes. Joker (2019) had the reveal that a character wasn't even there half the time so that threw into question everything else. The character may meet their desire and be thrown into direct conflict with the real world's discrepancies. They may be re-traumatized. They may remember a grand secret. They may do a horrid crime.

6. The End. Typically, a death at their own hands, a death at another's hand, jail, death in general, disappearance, an almost spiritual enlightenment, epiphanies about the world, or a fantastical 'too good to be true so it's probably made up by an unreliable narrator' ending for this character.

C) Examples

Here's a story example I'm making up at the top of my head.

A corporate office man is nearing the peak of it's life, about to ripen and fall away to let the younger work force near it's peak, and how does he do it? Balancing those snot-nosed kids meddling in his jobs, annoying coworkers, with his wife's underwhelming cooking. A boring life for a not-so boring guy, hoping to be rescued from the life he was forced onto. He wanted to be an artist but love doesn't pay the bills. One day, feeling the call of God, he goes to a cafe and seredipitously meets his old highschool sweetheart, recently engaged to the knob of the week with a weak chin and nice face, who practically owned the art club. She invites him to an new photography class she's doing but he declines and takes his black coffee. A promotion later and barely any money to get buy with the only thing to show is his wife's dry meatloaf, a kid's new braces that he gets gum caught in everyday, and his daughter's 'coming of age'.

Feeling stressed, life got nothing ahead. He goes to a clas, maybe two, maybe three. "At least I ain't spending it on alcohol, unlike your 'friend', dearie". How does he do it? A wife's divorce. Death on the mind but the Sweetheart's in his heart! Spending the days, grinding them into nothing like the barista he gave his number to, how could he do that, now she thinks he doesn't like him? He spends the day away and when he sees bruises on his sweetheart's arm, he charges up to the mansion fortress and makes a fight. His sweetheart cries and runs away and the husband is defeated, the boring white corporate office man saved the day!

But suddenly they are moving, leaving away. The husband is taking his sweetheart away, his true love, his promised forever, they promised to marry, they kissed, she gave herself to him and he won't let his apple ripen without her by his side. So he defeats the dragon, the princess in his arms, sleeping forever. He needs a true love's kiss to wake the princess sweetheart but when tries to, it doesn't work. He can't believe it until he sees the mirror, a fat white guy in his 40s, how could she love him? So he paints a new portrait, of him as a beauty, of him in highschool when he peaked, quarterback, art club, no wife, no kids, no fat, all brains, no sweat, no spreadsheets, no boss, no job. It doesn't work. So he tries again to capture it, capture him before he falls, before he ripes. He's an apple, ripe, about to fall, capture him in a picture. Another picture to save the princess. Another, and another, and another, and another, saving time, preventing the apple from getting ripe.

The princess is asleep and the office man is trapped in a cave with guards around, handcuffs on like a dragon, and he's fallen, he's riped past his prime, no one would capture him.

(sorry for the bad story at the end but for some actually good examples of characters going mad. The Awakening by Kate Chopin, Hamlet, The Joker (2019), A Streetcar Named Desire, Gone Girl, Lolita, Fight Club)

[oliswamp]

Anxious Manwhore AU: Extended family edition

tags via @nightmarearian

Yes, yes, and yes. To those not in the known, Laertes was Ody's father. Specifying this because there's also Hamlet character of the same name lol.

My musings under cut!

Laertes having unspecified sort of mental illness resulting in psychosis just Makes Sense. Maybe he had schizoaffective disorder? Jumping between depression and (hipo)mania he has shown Odysseus how to deal with various mental states, and although it was a huge baggage for the entire family, Ody loves his father to bits.

Odysseus knows his father both as his best (hunting that fucking Boar; Argonauts) and the worst, his depressive episodes when he wouldn't want to even show his face to the people.

When Ody starts experiencing hallucinations and delusions, Laertes tries to help as much as he can with his experiences.

They both feel pretty helpless about the state of the lineage though, because who would want to marry someone with such baggage, even if they were a king?

And then comes Penelope. Penelope with her own baggage, but so much understanding and resourcefulness, she completely blows them away with her methods of dealing with mental stuff. She listens, understands, and helps.

Laertes has a conversation with Odysseus that goes: "if you don't marry her and worship the ground she walks on, I'm going to disinherit you". It's an empty threat, they both know Odysseus already worships the ground Penelope walks on.

Later, once they're expecting a child, Laertes prays to any god who listens that little Telemachus (or Telemachia, depending on what gender the child is gonna turn out) doesn't have the same baggage as his father.

The gods only kind of listen.

Telemachus is autistic. (Did you know autism was considered a symptom of schizophrenia until very recently? Like. It literally was not considered its own thing until like 1980)

More on my headcanons later, I really need to do my homework now, but to reiterate: I completely agree with the tags. Especially since I'm schizoaffective myself.

So yeah! Tune in later for more AU thoughts, and perhaps the first draft of the song! (I promise nothing)

Taglist: @the-beloved-genloss-niki (ask to be added and I'll @ you each time I make a post about this au!)

[tylermileslockett]

Cassandra's Lament"

Her monologue here in this play is incredibly powerful, and is an early example of the "mad speech," whereby a character performs a monologue of madness. (it made me immediately think of Ophelia's madness speech from Hamlet, and I wonder if the English bard was inspired by Aeschylus's speech for Cassandra here.

CASSANDRA was a "Pythia" (priestess of Apollo). She was also a daughter of King Priam of Troy. Apollo fell in love with her, and offered her the power of prophecy as an enticement. But after receiving the power, Cassandra rebuked Apollo, so the god added a curse to the gift, that her power of prophecy would never be believed by any mortal. There's a story of Cassandra being held at the palace of Troy in a pyramidal building away from the others, as she was always spouting inane prophecies, and thus, deemed mad. Is this one of the first literary examples of a character with mental illness? What's more, she tried to warn the trojans of many coming horrors, such as Paris absconding with Helen and the coming trojan war, but alas, she was dismissed as touched, and ignored. Unfortunately, things get worse for the poor girl. After the sack of Troy, "Ajax the lesser" rapes Cassandra in Athena's temple (which Enrages Athena, and will cause many Greeks problems on their return journeys). Cassandra is then taken as Agamemnon's concubine and taken back to Mycenae, where we pick up with her presently in the play, at the front of the palace door. Agamemnon has already entered the house, and Cassandra, prophesying the coming violence within the house, gives a chilling speech, lamenting her cursed fate, and attempting to warn the chorus of Clytemnestra's deadly plans for Agamemnon and Cassandra; but, as usual, to no avail; the chorus dismiss her fears as crazy babbling. Cassandra finally accepts her fate, and enters the house, walking to her death.

Thanks for reading!

Want to own my Illustrated Greek myth book jam packed with over 130 illustrations like this? Support my kickstarter for my book "lockett Illustrated: Greek Gods and Heroes

[sillysoliloquyshits]

Intro post!

Heyos everyone, I'm Cally (she/her), and this is a dump/blog (?) of my writings, two cents, possibly memes and my feral fandom and sapphic side here.

So here are my namecards:

Fandoms (current/used to be in there/knows a bit and vibing):

80% of the MCU but mostly in Agatha All Along and Loki, PJO, MCGA, Iron Widow, Good Omens, Sandman, Wicked, Wednesday, ATLA, TLOK, One Punch Man, Haikyuu, Demon Slayer, Violet Evergarden, think that's it-

If Shakespearean and Austenian stuffs are counted as fandoms, there's Hamlet, Macbeth, Measure for Measure, Merchant of Venice, and Pride and Prejudice

Special interests

Writing a whole range of stuff 😈

Lots of character building (if I'm drunk I may or may not dump some of my OCs here)

Neurodivergence because I love learning stuff on ADHD and autism and neurospicy ppl 🙂‍↕️

Literature, but for now I mostly studied Shakespeare and Austen, but I have read a bit of Kafka and Poe and even Ocean Vuong so yes

Pre-Raphaelite and classical paintings because YouTube shorts have me entranced-

Mythology, and I'm somewhat biased to Norse myths but I'm still learning about Classics in Greek plays (screeches in Ne Zha movies after a while)

Horoscopes and personality typings (MBTI/enneagram) once in a while

Anything metaphysical and magical, a bit of witchcraft like tarots (though I don't practice), or even religion

Stuff I write

More poems than short stories because they're easier to write, and stuff like contrapuntal poems/twin cinemas 😈

A few of my poems are also inspired by vivid styles of those like Plath and even Ocean Vuong sometimes so yay

Lots of character building that's inspired by stuff I read and watch and even by existing myths and religion

Short stories and even flash fiction

Snippets of things in play format even though I'm not much of a playwright

A bit of Shakespearean English if I can 🔥

In terms of genre I gravitate to fantasy mainly, if I'm very pissed I can whip out some horror fantasy, but majority of the times it's more of cozy fantasy bordering on magical realism, and I've done slice-of-life settings as well as satire and a bit of sci-fi

My poems tend to be more romantic but that's not my main alley

Currently trying to write a lot more gay stuff because bi-

I also write about what I observe from news outlets and videos from Palestine and I write Pro-Palestinian poems as a form of advocacy, while also shining the light once in a while on others who are suffering like Lebanon and Ukraine and Sudan etc

I also have a few poems that express struggles and everyday life of mentally ill people whether we know it or not as a form of raising awareness as well

And yes of course I will write fanpoetry here (cough Agathario-)

Writers I pray to for guidance because they're too good and national treasures

Jane Austen, Elizabeth Jennings, Ocean Vuong, Xiran Jay Zhao, Shakespeare, Jac Schaeffer, Sylvia Plath, Franz Kafka (obviously not in order)

Current/recently finished books

Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao, The White Book by Han Kang, Nightly Sky with Exist Wounds by Ocean Vuong, Emma by Jane Austen, The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Current listens on loop

Bardcore/dramatic violin renditions of Running Up That Hill, Runaway by Aurora, Me and the Devil by Soap and Skin, Viva La Vida Nightcore songs, Defying Gravity from Wicked (it's the only song from Wicked I listen to don't kill me 😅)

TRIGGER WARNING TAGS

Will sometimes write stuff that are emotionally and mentally triggering like su*c*de and implied SA even though I never experienced these before, but I will be careful in not being too explicit, as well as gory violence because horror fantasy, nonetheless there will be relevant TWs put when necessary and please feedback politely if you find a piece of writing that's genuinely triggering but I didn't realise

I will also likely write horny and erotic things here so uh get ready I guess

If you are someone who is a hypocrite or do not subscribe to my values of being Pro-Palestinian, in solidarity with the neurodivergent, LGBTQIA+ communities and racial minorities and you're an evil or brainwashed hater or defender of moral plagues in the world or subscribe to AI taking over the jobs of artists, you won't just get blocked you will face a wrath from me that will make the circles of hell a paltry playground, mark my words-

Socials

IG: sh_ttysoliloquy

Substack: studiesinsoliloquys

Also because I like the word soliloquy and now I'm basing my platforms on this because it's a decent word

Personality labels (and miscellaneous)

INFP, enneagram 4 (sx/not sure sp or so), Pisces Sun and Scorpio Moon, loves the number 7 and 12 and somehow likes the High Priestess tarot card best and the Perthro rune best because Hearthstone from MCGA

Final words before strapping you guys to the rollercoaster

I'm super forgetful because object impermanence so expect inconsistency but also expect some feral shit here

Bad grammar even though I speak English more than my mother tongue

Being super good in sarcasm while sometimes taking things too literally is a thing but I'll try to remember to do tone tags like /s or /lh when I can

I reblog too many things

Yeah I think that's it sillysoliloquyshits signing off~

(cue the screaming as you bolt backwards into the void)

Donation links docs:

This is a compiled list of Palestinians fundraisers from both IG and Tumblr, along with Operation Olive Branch's spreadsheet of links (all vetted from there) and Xiran Jay Zhao's LINKTREE that has links to various donations campaigns not just for Palestinians.

I'll keep adding families if they are vetted or approach me so please open this document and help those families who's names are bolded or underlined as well because they tend to have the least funds!

[freedelusionshere]

Now let’s do similarities between some of the themes of The Bear and Twin Peaks and other things from the 90s.

Mikey the “life of the party” was everyone’s best friend like Laura Palmer but was harboring dark secrets.

Generational abuse and mental illness “haunting” families is a frequent topic with characters like Laura and Audrey Horne wanting to run away from home/escape. Many of the young characters in the show feel this way.

A dark underbelly present under the veneer of All-Americanism and a very present class structure that is hinted to be driven by capitalism and colonialism with the lumber mill (run by a matriarch) and the Black Lodge (being stuck/dopplegangers and alter egos - Logan, Claire, the walk-in, “prisons of your own design”, etc.).

Wealthy family members involved in illicit activities who are looked at as benefactors and respectable citizens of the town but really pull the strings like Ben Horne (Cicero).

The Log Lady who seems absurd on the surface but appears periodically to drop truths like an oracle (Faks).

The absurdist humor/tragicomedy, because Twin Peaks in the 90s was a satire of soap operas, but talking about lots of other things. Similarly The Bear could be viewed as a satire, which was hinted in S3 (fictional character played by Bradley Cooper’s image from Burnt shown at the Ever’s funeral dinner) among other things.

Characters in Twin Peaks break the Fourth Wall in the Black Lodge, similar to Richie in S3 when he’s on the playground bench with Tiff and they appear to talk about knowing their real audience. Also the presence of many real-life chefs who point out inherent problems with fine dining while still participating in it and being celebrated. Restaurant reviewers mentioned include a real-life critic/influencer and major newspapers.

Twin Peak’s creator, David Lynch, is also very influenced by Shakespeare in his works, just like Jane Austin was (my previous comparisons of The Bear to Pride and Prejudice).

Lynch has said that he uses his art to broadcast his subconscious conjurings, similar to how Hamlet transmits his bad dreams outwards. He also loves Oedipal shit.

The Bear is, in some ways, part Carmy’s waking big bad dream (S3 for sure) about family legacy.

Twin Peaks came out in the 90s aligning with many of Storer’s influential musical choices like REM (very popular before they broke up in the 90s), Pearl Jam, and Trent Reznor (NIN) @whenmemorydies did a dive into this. The very popular BBC tv adaptation of Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth came out in 1995.

Syd and Carmy could also be described as similar to The X-Files’ Mulder and Scully where they are both professionally dedicated which is the cause of their introduction with Scully being more academic in nature. Both are haunted in different ways related to their childhood/families; Mulder has a missing sibling that drives him. Scully is very connected to her father. They appear to be in opposition at times but are completely dedicated to one another and fall in love despite all attempts from outward opposition and even other love interests.

I’m sure there are others that I’m missing so anyone feel free to jump in.

[helen-cooper-fan-account]

I love how so many people in the mentally ill about hamlet squad have come up with very similar designs for horatio like yes this is what he looks like

[bigfriedbassoon]

actually re: Hamlet and madness I think ableism, the stigma of mental illness, any belief in religion or science, weakness and strength, and how masculinity has been performed for 400 years is so central to his 'putting on an antic disposition' and it's important to the play.

[literatureloverx]

Greetings, my dear.

I've been looking at your profile for a while, and your beautiful way of writing (along with your name) made me think that you could make some interesting reading recommendations.

Also, I'd like to ask you if you've read The bell jar by Sylvia Plath, and if that's so, if you liked it. I've been trying to get that book for a while, but now I can, I found myself wondering if it's worth it.

I hope I'm not bothering you.

Thank you, dear. <3

Oh, thank you so much for your kind words! ♥️ Are you referring to my alias or my real name? Either way, thank you—I really appreciate it.♥️

I haven’t read The Bell Jar, but I’m familiar with the plot and its themes. From what I know, it delves into alienation, mental illness, and societal expectations. It’s raw, emotionally intense, and semi-autobiographical, which gives it a unique edge.

In terms of comparison, The Bell Jar shares some thematic similarities with No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai, especially in exploring alienation and mental health. However, Plath focuses more on gender dynamics and societal constraints, while Dazai examines cultural shame and existential despair in a much darker way. If you’re familiar with No Longer Human, you might notice the parallels, though the two books feel very distinct due to their cultural and personal contexts.

If you enjoy semi-autobiographies with an emotional twist, I think you’d find The Bell Jar interesting. It’s not entirely my usual taste, but I wouldn’t be against reading it someday either!♥️

The books I would recommend first would be these, but I can suggest others to add as well:

Osamu Dazai — A New Hamlet

Oscar Wilde — The Picture of Dorian Gray

Emily Brontë — Wuthering Heights

Thomas Hardy — Tess of the d’Urbervilles

Edith Wharton — The Age of Innocence

Alexandre Dumas — The Lady of the Camellias (La Dame aux Camélias)

Jules Verne — Around the World in Eighty Days

E.T.A. Hoffmann — The Sandman

Mikhail Bulgakov — The Master and Margarita

Marguerite Duras — The Lover

I tried to bring some variety to the list—I hope you can find something that suits your taste!♥️

[butchhamlet]

hi it's me again im the anon who dropped about 800 words about ocd hamlet a couple weeks ago (maybe longer, time has been weird for me lately).. it made me soo happy to see it resonated with you and with some other people who reblogged it as well!! i've been projecting on hamlet ever since i read it and it feels like every time i read it i learn more about him AND me... and ever since Symptoms showed up he's been even dearer to me and im just so glad people like my interpretation as well :)

i hope it's ok for me to do this again because i want to talk about what if lady macbeth has ocd also. and i know this is sort of well. dangerous if that's the right word because 1) lady macbeth IS the villain in her play even if i love her from the bottom of my heart and i support everything she does and ocd is already an incredibly stigmatised and misunderstood 2) hand washing is possibly THE most stereotyped compulsion that sort of epitomises this really warped view of ocd in the public consciousness. i personally do not have handwashing as a compulsion or really any physical compulsions that are direct responses to my intrusive thoughts so i will try to be really really careful when im talking about this. + other disclaimers: again while i have definitely experienced symptoms of ocd i do not know if i have it and i am NOT diagnosed + ocd experiences are different for everyone + you cannot diagnose a character because they are not real + this one is mostly projection and is more a frame of reading than it is an interpretation grounded in textual evidence (esp since i will be talking about the sleepwalking asleep a LOT and she is technically, well. sleeping.) so just. take everything with a pinch of salt and please let me know if i ever overstep!!

im mainly going to be drawing on experiences close to real event ocd even though i know that typically real event ocd is defined by the fact that the sufferer blows their past mistakes way out of proportion and/or question their memories, and i guess i cannot say that lady macbeth’s guilt is completely unjustified because uh. she did kill a man.! but i do think her behaviours after the murder reflects what i’ve seen people speak about online as well as some of the experiences i’ve had. 

guilt as illness

this is more general to the whole play i guess but i wanted to point out how the consequences of the macbeths’ regicide is absolutely portrayed as a disease. there’s a LOT of foreshadowing in lady macbeth’s advice to her husband in the immediate aftermath of their murder: she tells him not to “think / so brain sickly of things”, and says, “these deeds must not be thought / after these ways so, it will make us mad”. (2.ii) the doctor later alludes to “infected minds” (5.i) in relation to lady macbeth’s madness. the fact that the fixation on guilt is seen as an illness i think fits so well with ocd: whenever im having a bad day with intrusive thoughts and mental spirals it genuinely feels like there is something festering in my brain like a parasite feeding on anxiety. 

guilt is also so intrinsically linked to sleep in macbeth: famously macbeth comes out of the king’s chamber ranting about how he may “sleep no more; macbeth doth murder sleep”, and lady macbeth’s obsession pours out of her when she is sleeping (and this is exactly why a doctor is called). i would argue that fucked up sleep is somewhat presented as an illness in ‘macbeth’ too; or if not, at least unnatural. this idea is all over act 2 scene ii (right after macbeth commits the murder) but i think it’s best epitomised in act 3 scene iv: “you lack the season of all natures, sleep.” (lady macbeth) season as in both night-season and seasoning/preservative. so sleep is both a natural part of life, and something that keeps things the way nature or god intended. the doctor says too that disturbed sleep is “a great perturbation in nature” (5.i). nightmares are DEFINITELY depicted as illness: macbeth says that they “sleep / in the affliction of these terrible dreams / that shake us nightly” (3.ii)

insomnia is highly associated with ocd since the obsessions/compulsions prevent sleep and sleep deprivation increases the commonality AND duration of obsession. if a significant portion of your day is spent devoted to obsessions/compulsions, there’s a chance they may become assimilated into intrusive dreams, since dreams are generally regarded as a way that the brain processes memories. thus, we can see that the way guilt in ‘macbeth’ is linked to disturbed sleep parallels how ocd is linked to sleep disorders. so not only is guilt itself an illness in ‘macbeth’, it links to other disorders too

2. withdrawal from dialogue

lady macbeth stops being on equal footing in terms of number of lines with macbeth after the murder. from act 3 she really only responds briefly to what macbeth says, and she’s not even in act 4. i sort of see that as her being dragged under her spiralling thoughts and retreating further and further back into her mind. i know i definitely zone out a LOT more on days where im being absolutely bombarded by intrusive thoughts. she’s definitely disoriented by the begining of act 3:

nought’s had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content. ’tis safer to be that which we destroy, than by destruction dwell in doubtful joy. (3.ii)

the whole soliloquy (if you can even call it that—it’s only 2 couplets) is riddled with paradoxes and confusing wording. her mind is completely scattered and it feels to me as if she’s just been arguing with herself. this might be reaching slightly (as if this entire post isnt kind of reaching already. sorry) but to me it kind of mirrors the absurd leaps of logic my intrusive thoughts and rumination can sometimes take: how can it be “safer” to be destroyed? how can “joy” be doubtful? it doesn’t make sense, and it’s confusing and frightening, but it feels absolutely real. (also note: as you’ve said before ocd is sometimes called the doubting disease. and lady macbeth calls her experience “doubtful”….

3. the mad scene

(disclaimer again i KNOW she is supposed to be asleep the entire time BUT i am going to. sort of. ignore that. sorry</3)

in the beginning of act 5 scene i, lady macbeth’s lady-in-waiting says,

since his majesty went into the field, I have seen her rise from her bed, throw her nightgown upon her, unlock her closet, take forth paper, fold it, write upon't, read it, afterwards seal it, and again return to bed — yet all this while in a most fast sleep.

i’ve never experienced physical compulsions myself, but this sort of repeated, methodical act matches how i’ve seen people describe them. the doctor specifically calls them “actual performances”, which suggest, i think, something mechanical and dictated in some way; “perform” is definitely a word i’ve seen people use to descrive carrying out compulsions. (do correct me if i’m wrong!)

then let’s look at lady macbeth’s actual speech:

out, damned spot, out, I say. — one, two — why, then, 'tis time to do't. — hell is murky. — fie, lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard! what need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?

the jumping around of her thoughts honestly feels exactly like my mind alternating between intrusive thoughts and desperately trying to justify why they aren’t true. she goes from reflecting on her debillitating guilt, to being anxious about going to hell, to replaying and checking her memories, to reassuring herself (and macbeth) that she won’t get caught, and then to thinking about her guilt again. it’s a rapid-fire, relentless cycle that continues throughout the scene. she’ll jump from reenacting a moment with her husband, to the obsessing over the blood on her hands, then back again. notably, in her address to macbeth, she never seems to be reenacting the exact same moment. she taunts him for his cowardice seemingly before the murder, then pleads with him, saying that “banquo cannot come out his grave”, then goes back to when they are fleeing the crime scene. i think this reflects the sort of distortion of memory that constant memory checking and ocd can cause. the moodswings and the flip-flopping between “everything’s fine” and “i’m going to hell” are also SO intense and honestly it’s exactly what it feels like on my worst days. 

in the entire scene, lady macbeth speaks in prose instead of verse: it’s obviously a sign of madness by itself, but i also think it reflects the complete loss of control she has over her thoughts and actions. in the beginning acts she is all about control: she demands “spirits / that tend on mortal thoughts” (1.v) to do her bidding, she tells macbeth to “leave all the rest to me” (1.v), and she tells him what to do at every moment. but at this point in the play she can’t stop the onslaught of regrets, guilt, and memories, and she can’t even control herself physically.

speaking of the elephant in the room: the excessive handwashing. i think of lady macbeth’s handwashing as less of a reaction to a genuine fear of contamination, but as something more akin to body-repetitive behaviours like skin-picking (dermatillomania) and hair-pulling (trichitillomania, which i think i have) which are associated with ocd.

i sort of headcanon lady macbeth to have absolutely horrible skin splits on her hands (<- this part is complete projection): and so following this interpretation, i think of her handwashing sort of as a form of self-flagellation because rubbing her hands continually will make the skin tear and bleed. (gore tw?) that, then, fits in with the blood on her hands: in her semi-conscious state she thinks it’s duncan’s, when it’s really hers.

i know that another common compulsion is counting: and lady macbeth does count (“one, two—’tis time to do it.”) one of the reasons people with ocd may count (and there are many reasons, this is not the be-all-end-all) is “attaching meaning to particular numbers where certain numbers will induce anxiety, while others will reduce anxiety. for example, if you assign special meaning to the number three, you might count your steps by threes, or lock and unlock your car three times before driving, or any variety of other action ruled by this magic number.” (<- quoted from nocd website)

i also know that repetition of words or phrases is another common compulsion. and these are lady macbeth's final lines:

to bed, to bed; there's knocking at the gate. come, come, come, come, give me your hand. what's done cannot be undone. — to bed, to bed, to bed.

4. her death

in your ocd hamlet post, you talked about how hamlet’s death is almost peaceful in his “silence”, and how horatio, despite knowing all his flaws and obsessions, believes wholeheartedly in his salvation. (that honestly means the world to me, by the way, so thank you.) the macbeths went through EVERYTHING together: the planning, the crime itself, the aftermath—it’s clear from their dialogue that at the beginning of their sufferings they saw each other go through sleeplessness, nightmares, and obsession. but over the course of the play, they completely fall apart. (i think the last time macbeth uses “we” to refer to the two of them is to say “we’ll to sleep” and “we are yet but young in deed”, which is the most ironic thing ever.) macbeth’s only response to lady macbeth’s death is “she should have died hereafter.” i honestly don’t know what that means in terms of the ocd reading, or in comparison with horatio's reaction to hamlet's death. i'd love to know what you think.

thanks for bearing with me!! i’m a bit less confident in this reading than i am for ocd hamlet, and it’s more likely i’ll get something wrong about ocd in this one, but sorry i just wanted to unleash this somewhere i hope that’s okay and genuinely please tell me if i say anything wrong or insensitive! i also typed this over 3 hours and went over the text as if this was a homework essay.....? and it is now almost 2am so i’m sorry if this isn’t coherent. i hope you’re having a wonderful day :)

hi same anon here i forgot to put this in but. i listened to verdi macbeth opera mad scene una macchia è qui tuttora the whole time i was writing that thing in case anyone would like to know...... i love it so so much my favourite video recording is by sylvia sass on youtube https://youtu.be/tP59Ox8MdQ4?feature=shared&t=319 AND there are full productions of the opera on youtube as well. thank you so much for reading!!!!

YES.... YES..... YESSSSSSSSSS I LOVE AN OCD LADY MACBETH... IT'S ABOUT THE GUILT IT'S ABOUT THE REPETITION DOES EVERYONE HEAR ME? TODAY WE ARE DOING GUILT AND REPETITION

i have had similar thoughts about the sort of inherent trickiness of it (oh, the lady who washes her hands a lot has ocd? whoa, totally original thought that has nothing to do with pop culture perception of ocd) (and also she did kill a man). but you really said it all with that ksdhfdksnfdsn. i will pitch in that i DO have handwashing compulsions and tbh. i personally think lady macbeth ocd reading is a net win even if it does trail a little close to stereotypes because if you dig even slightly deeper than "haha handwashing" it allows for an examination of ocd not just as an action but also as a manifestation of guilt and illness. which is SO macbeth. the body politic is sick the government is sick!!! again im taking the words right out of your mouth here this ask whips ass

shaking your hand on conceiving of ocd as something parasitical. really feels like there is some Thing up there feeding on my brain. (also on intrusive thought dreams. fucked upppppp like man leave me alone)

AND ON THAT NOTE i feel like even if she is asleep it can still be ocd. i say this with no medical training whatsoever and this isn't, like, me asserting that people actually do compulsions while asleep, but on a narrative level, the emotional processes happening to her character are petty clear even if she's sleepwalking, right. once again no medical training whatsoever

the jumping around of her thoughts honestly feels exactly like my mind alternating between intrusive thoughts and desperately trying to justify why they aren’t true. [...] the moodswings and the flip-flopping between “everything’s fine” and “i’m going to hell” are also SO intense and honestly it’s exactly what it feels like on my worst days.

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. the ugly intrusive thought -> self-reassurance -> self-reassurance makes it worse -> intrusive thought (harder and worse) spiral. and literally this is EXACTLY what it feels like. me when i accidentally say something rude and then i'm evil for three days. except she killed a man

i sort of headcanon lady macbeth to have absolutely horrible skin splits on her hands (<- this part is complete projection): and so following this interpretation, i think of her handwashing sort of as a form of self-flagellation because rubbing her hands continually will make the skin tear and bleed. (gore tw?) that, then, fits in with the blood on her hands: in her semi-conscious state she thinks it’s duncan’s, when it’s really hers.

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH. ON AN ANALYTICAL LEVEL AND A PERSONAL LEVEL. LITERALLY THE LEAPS I CAN DO IN MY BEAUTIFUL MIND TO BE LIKE WOW IM JUST LIKE LADY MACBETH (BLOOD ON MY HANDS). YOU N ME BROTHER

and re: her death and the macbeths splintering apart. that is honestly the most painful part of this play for me, as a lover of evil couples and also of their specific dynamic. the fact that they mesh so well at the beginning (i mean, they argue, there's friction, but they're clearly on the same page--they enter their first shared scene both thinking the same thing and a lot of their communication is in implication) and then they just. fragment. and i think with the OCD ladymac reading it's even worse, because the thing about OCD at least in my experience is that. at some point the people around you stop being able to understand what the fuck your problem is. even when they're trying really hard. because it doesn't make any sense! the compulsions don't make logical sense the self-flagellation doesn't make any sense none of it is SOLVING anything but it also does make sense, To You, on a level you cannot really explain to people that don't Get It*. and so like. the macbeths are already breaking apart because of their responses to the murder, and this is just one more thing coming between them. she is trapped in a cage in her brain that he cannot see.

*(i think not infrequently about the overlap between OCD and psychosis; i haven't experienced psychosis and obviously there are major differences, but i relate a lot to what psychotic people have said about, like, the ability to hold multiple contradictory truths at once. my compulsions will not actually stop disasters from happening, but they also will. you could maybe pull in something about macbeth's parallel loss of control + his hallucinations? but i'm not diagnosing macbeth with psychosis necessarily i'm just saying words).

anyway, anon, i am always extremely impressed by your dedication to writing out quotes and coming armed with evidence, and also your analysis fucking bangs. this is such a good ask i need to frame it on the wall your mind is huge. i hope you have a wonderful day as well :)

[rosebloodcat]

Weirn Wally AU: Lacking Lies

Ao3 Link

Wally felt an itch at the back of his neck.

Someone was watching him.

He had a fairly good idea of who it was too. In hindsight, he really should have expected it.

Canceling the picnic with Julie and Frank suddenly would have raised some confusion, even if "not feeling well" was a perfectly reasonable excuse. That shadow from two nights ago had been stronger than he was used to in the hamlet.

It had laid him out pretty well, he was still smarting from the shot it managed to land on his side.

He hadn't had the magic to spare to make himself look like a puppet and join them at the flower fields the next morning for the picnic. He hadn't even had the energy to leave the house. Claiming that he thought he’d caught a day cold of some kind should have been a perfectly reasonable excuse. Nothing that should have been given more than a second thought when they saw him out and about the next day.

So, Frank's unusually intense stare on his back was worrying.

Wally ran through his mental notes, still keeping part of his concentration on his disguise while meandering toward the bodega. (The last thing he needed was to lose his hold on that in the middle of town. Aching side or not.)

Had he slipped somewhere and Frank had seen something? 

He had made sure to slip out long after dark. Dressed in clothes that didn't resemble his day-to-day wear. Got back before sunrise, wrapped up the few injuries he'd gotten while fighting, and grabbed enough sleep to drag himself out of bed to call Frank and Julie at a reasonable hour to avoid suspicion.

He had all his bases covered, from what he could remember. Why was Frank watching him so intently?

He let out a quiet huff. He was overthinking this.

Frank was probably just keeping an eye on him because he’d said he was sick. Wally would probably do the same thing if he heard one of his neighbors had suddenly fallen ill and canceled an event like that.

He gave his head a small shake to banish the worry, waving idly at Howdy as he stepped inside the bodega and headed for the store section he knew had what he was after. He’d made sure to read up on some new facts for this shopping trip, he really didn’t have a head for jokes today.

Assorted Vegetables, mustard seed, basil, garlic…

He looked up and the shelf Howdy had stocked the cooking oils on, fighting back a frown. Why did Howdy always have to stack it so high up? He knew how tall most of his clientele were…

(He wished, not for the first time, that he had picked a taller form for this world. But it was far too late to change it now. Small was what he’d gotten and he just had to live with it.)

He stretched up to grab the cooking oil he was after and winced at the way his side stretched. He let out a quiet, pained breath lowering his arm again. No, he couldn't reach for it with that arm. He tried to switch which arm was holding the basket, only for another twinge to shoot through his side.

Sharp footsteps made him tense as a presence appeared beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Frank's bright yellow sweater vest.

"I believe this was what you were after, Wally?"

The weirn blinked, registering the bottle of oil he'd been reaching for being presented to him. And the quirked unibrow of the cloudy grey puppet holding it.

“Ah… Thank you, Frank. That was the one I was reaching for.” Wally adopted one of his usual, relaxed-looking smiles and took the bottle from his neighbor, carefully dropping it into his basket. That was the last thing on his list. Frank hummed at him and he fought back the urge to squirm under his stare. “Is there something wrong, neighbor?”

“Not exactly,” Frank idly commented, tilting his head slightly. “Julie was rather disappointed about you not being able to make it to our picnic the other day. So, after your call, I suggested rescheduling it for when you were better. If you still want to join us, of course.”

Wally felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, and his smile became more natural. Yes, this felt more in line with what he was used to from Frank. And he did still want to enjoy the picnic with them both.

“Ah, that would be lovely. I felt very bad about not being able to join you, I’d be happy to help plan another.” He shifted slightly, the dull ache in his side making itself known again. “Perhaps next Wednesday would work for you both? I can make something special to bring with me, to make up for missing the last one.”

By then, my side will have healed up.

“Oh? I’m sure Julie would love that. You don’t share your cooking very often.” Wally inclined his head at that, still smiling. He slowly started making his way back to the front of the store, Frank following a pace or two behind him as they continued making small talk.

Their conversation paused as they reached the counter, Wally “paying” for his groceries with some art and painting facts he was reasonably sure Howdy had never heard before. The caterpillar accepted them at the very least, so he considered it a success.

He carefully took the bags from Howdy but was further surprised when Frank took some of them as well. He considered trying to take them from the dower man, but…

It seemed his painkillers were starting to wear off. Which made carrying so many bags on his own rather painful. And there really wasn't any harm in letting Frank help. So he quietly thanked the frowning puppet and led the way outside and to his house.

The walk was quiet, but it wasn't uncomfortable (that Wally could tell). 

It was one of the things he’d always liked about Frank, even if it didn't happen very often. It was nice to just enjoy the quiet with someone on occasion.

“Wally?” Frank asked idly. The weirn let out an acknowledging hum, not feeling like breaking his own silence yet. “May I ask something of you?”

The edge of his mouth twitched at that. Oh, when was the last time he’d gotten to use this little joke?

“You have, but please continue.” He heard Frank let out a small huff.

(It wasn’t a good joke, he knew. But it usually got a few amused chuckles when he pulled it out.)

“Next time you have to cancel, please don't lie about why you can't join us,” Frank said, a tinge of irritation in his tone. Wally stopped dead in his tracks, turning sharply to face his neighbor.

“What… What do you mean by that, neighbor?” Frank's brow tilted at him, his expression thoroughly unimpressed.

“Wally, you canceled the picnic because you’ve hurt yourself,” was the dark-haired puppet’s response. His smile tightened at that.

“That’s silly, Frank. Why would you think-”

“Wally, you're limping.” Frank cut in with an exasperated sigh.

Now that it had been pointed out, Wally became hyper-aware of the state he was in.

Yes, he was in his usual clothes but he was favoring one side over the other as he moved (especially now that the medication was wearing off). And his clothes weren't as neat and clean as he usually preferred, the pompadour he always had his hair was messier than normal a few loose hairs falling into his line of sight. His eyes itched in the way that said he probably had some shadows under them, likely from the rough sleep due to his side before he’d had to drag himself out of bed to make the call…

Okay, now that Frank had said something he could see how easily his lie would have fallen apart once the detail-oriented puppet saw him. Everything would quickly add up to something being wrong.

(He wanted to smack himself, how had he missed this?! It was his own body, for pity’s sake!)

“Ah…” His smile turned a bit more sheepish while he mentally scrambled for a reasonable explanation that Frank would accept. What could he tell him that would make sense?

Frank sighed at him, seeming to not notice the subtle panic Wally was dealing with.

“Next time, just tell me the truth. I can understand that you don't want to worry Julie but I would appreciate a little more honesty from you.” He gave Wally another searching look and he struggled to not fidget. “How did you even hurt yourself in the first place? Were you trying to move furniture around by yourself?”

Wally latched onto the excuse the moment Frank said it.

“Uh, yes… I wanted to move my bookshelf. I thought I emptied it before I started trying to move it, but I missed a few books at the top and…”

“And they fell on you.” Frank finished, nodding along.

“Yes. I didn't want to worry anyone, so I didn't say anything about it. It’s a bit sore, but nothing really bad.” Wally assured, trying to sound more genuine than he knew he was being.

Frank sighed in that exasperated but somehow fond way he always did about his neighbors. The sort that said he wasn't mad at them, just disappointed that they hadn't thought something through.

(He used that sigh with Julie a lot. And Howdy. It was also distinctly different from the sigh he let out over things that Eddie did. Or the one he used for Poppy worrying over silly things.)

“Of course you did. Next time you should just ask for help, Wally. I'm sure Eddie or Barnaby or Howdy would have been happy to help if you’d asked. They’re certainly strong enough to move a bookshelf without too much trouble.” He side-eyed the small artist for a moment, and Wally fought back the urge to wriggle. “And they’re tall enough to see if any books had been missed.”

Wally smiled sheepishly at the look, even as the usual weight of discomfort settled in his stomach at having to lie to his neighbor. (It was a familiar feeling. One he’d gotten very good at ignoring over the years.)

“Well, I hope your side heals up soon. I'd imagine it's quite annoying.” Wally nodded at that. It certainly was.

The rest of their walk was spent in silence until they reached home and Frank handed off the bags he was carrying to Wally. He knew that Wally was particular about putting things away on his own, so there was no point in offering to help with it. The weirn gave a quiet thank you, after which Frank wrangled a promise to call if he needed anything while he was healing. Which Wally gave with little fuss.

(He wouldn't, he could handle himself just fine. But hearing Wally say that he would do that would settle the man’s nerves, so he still said it. (Not a true Promise, just an assurance that he would call in the future.))

The two finally parted ways with the click of a door, and Wally finally let out a breath of relief and let go of his spell once he was sure Frank was far enough to not see him.

He let himself slump against the front door for a moment, just breathing slowly.

A lamp nearby rattled and he felt the familiar ghostly feeling worryconcernquestion brushed against the edge of his mind.

“I'm fine, just sore from the medication wearing off. I need to take another dose soon.” He pushed off the door and slowly made his way to the kitchen to put away his groceries. He could take another potion once everything was in the correct cabinets. Doors opened of their own accord, his astral trying to make everything easier for him.

More feelings drifted over their bond, this time accompanied by a curious tug toward the front door. He inclined his head, smiling gently.

“Ah, it's nothing to worry about. Frank was helping because he noticed I was hurt. I forget how observant he is some days, he definitely thought something was up. I’ll need to be more careful around him for a bit.” He murmured gently, resting his hand against the wall comfortingly. He wished his astral could separate from the house so he could properly brush his hands over him, but the sun was up and their neighbors would notice if “Home” suddenly went still. “It shouldn’t be anything to worry over, I was able to assure him.”

A cupboard door thumped worriedly by his head, more flickers of questionconcernnervous flitting over the bond.

“No, Frank doesn't suspect anything about how I got hurt. He's just being kind and worrying over me. Like good friends do. Like all the people here do. Everything’s fine. I’m sure of it.”

~~~~~

Frank sighed to himself as he walked out of Home’s line of sight, shoulders slumping slightly.

Wally had lied again.

Really, he wasn’t as good at it as he seemed to think he was. Though, admittedly, he was hurting so that probably hadn’t helped him in coming up with a good story to feed Frank to fool him. He supposed it would work for Julie or Barnaby, as they rarely dealt with bookshelves or rearranging them and wouldn’t know that what Wally claimed wasn’t possible.

Some books fell on him, honestly.

He might have believed it if Wally had claimed Home had accidentally knocked something into him while trying to help, but not an accident from trying to move a bookshelf by himself. If that had been what happened, then the books would have fallen on Wally’s head or shoulders or his back, not his side. Not below his arm in a place that would be pulled every time he tried to move or carry things.

No, something else happened to hurt their resident artist. His eyes narrowed in thought, a hand rubbing at his chin.

The question was: What was it?

AN: I've finally finished the first bit of writing for the Weirn Wally AU!! I've had most of this for a while in my docs, but I figured now was as good a time as any to finally post it. I still wanna talk about this au and the fun little details I have on the brain. But it seems like I'm the only one who's interested in the Weirn Books.

I welcome all questions and comments.