#hallmark would never

[czargasm]

This Would Never Happen on the Hallmark Channel

DNF | explicit | 18,909 | complete

Dream is the head writer on this year's Hallmark Channel Christmas movie, Operation: A Boyfriend for Christmas. New talent George has been cast as the lead actor. Boy meets boy and sparks fly. But their tryst is just for the duration of filming, and it has to be kept secret from the people in charge. As the weeks of filming turn into months and feelings between the two grow, they have to decide if the relationship forming between them is worth sacrificing everything for--including their careers.

Or, the one where Dream and George film a Hallmark Christmas movie and have way more sex than is typically allowed on the Hallmark channel.

[the-crooked-library]

See this is why we need more media of the following if people actually want to talk about old timey fuckboy vampires:

-Lord Ruthven: Player, gambler, world traveller, soothsayer. Seduces maidens to marry him, and on their wedding night he stabs them, drinks their blood, and leaves for the next one. Makes men shut down and swear oaths of loyalty.

-Carmilla: (for your Fuckboy until Getting Smitten trope). literally has a travelling troupe she goes from village to village with, saduing and drinking girl after girl without fail, then she meets Laura and goes babe I am ready to settle. in undeath. all those other girls did not matter. i have never fallen in love with any just you babe die in me. doesn't stop her from biting her titty every night and drinking her like a caprisun

-Clarimonde is textually performing orgies all over France. it makes an Abbot so mad that she's corrupting people into sin among them a young priest. she keeps having those parties even after she seduces her boytoy. unlike Carmilla though she hates harming him and struggles badly with her bloody urges.

-Dracula done right. "I have crossed oceans of time" He Would Not Fucking Say That. Jonathan was his summer fling, Dracula left him home to turn once he was done with him, Lucy was his next obsession, Also left her to turn once he was done with her, Mina was his next target out of sheer anger towards her for constantly thwarting him, left her to turn and to turn the men... he is not Orlok, he literally fucked around until he found out.

yesssss omg honestly Carmilla would make a perfect period romance Rake - especially if she is to fall in actual love by accident! Frankly, I didn't know I needed this until now, but now that I am considering the concept, I am finding it delightful.

I imagine that the classic lit vampires all think Orlok is a bit of a prude. Spent three centuries alone, waited until marriage both times to get with Ellen, and the only other person he was with sexually was her legally wedded husband?.. Come on.

They would watch Nosferatu like a Hallmark movie.

[shalomniscient]

natlan 5.1 was batshit insane but i won't deny cookery when i see it. last 1/3 of the archon quest is just brilliantly done in my opinion, from writing to level design to soundtrack. just genuine excellence

[calicotisane]

Chapter 2 Page 15

[lanthanum12]

Admirable Twilight Hallmark AU

I was brainstorming with my mom and we came up with a Hallmark AU for Maeglin x Sauron!

Maeglin is the prince of a small mountainous kingdom called Gondolin. He runs a successful blacksmithing shop and is esteemed by most of his people, however something seems to be missing in his life. He pays this little heed.

When Yuletide comes around, his Uncle, King Turgon, requests him to make the finest sleigh in the kingdom for a royal festival. Maeglin is at first excited by this prospect, but he quickly turns to despair as it turns out much harder than he originally thought.

Help comes in the form of a mysterious and elegant stranger with a dark past named Annatar. He hails from the fortress of Angband and is a ruthless lieutenant whom believes Yule to be inefficient and a waste of time. Yet, he is willing to help Maeglin on his project, for he also is a smith.

Over time the two bond and spend time together. Slowly Annatar comes to see the magic of the season and his heart is softened. Maeglin is a delight to spend time with. They go skating, make hot coco, and decorate trees together. All things Annatar had previously dismissed. Perhaps there is more to life than he thought.

This joy is not to last, as Turgon had been growing in suspicion of Annatar and eventually finds out that he is actually Sauron and is indeed from Angband. He reveals this publicly and there is divsion in Gondolin. Maeglin is distraught, but hears Annatar out.

Annatar is forced to choose between the respect and fear people had for him in Angband and the warmth of this small kingdom and the love of Maeglin. He of course chooses to stay and finish making the sleigh and apologizes to Maeglin for lying. The two forgive and the rest of Gondolin forgives too because it's Yuletide.

The time comes to reveal the sleigh and Turgon and all of Gondolin are amazed by it. The festivities go beautifully, but the best part is when Maeglin proposes to Annatar and receives an enthusiastic yes!

[eyrieofsynapses]

person: hey listen up. what if Sherlock Holmes were, you know, queer--

me: *sitting forward* I'm listening (actually I was on the same page years ago)

person: right! SO what if Sherlock and Watson were gay--

me: ...you've lost me.

so anyway. anyone with aroace Sherlock and/or queerplatonic Sherlock & Watson takes, hmu, everyone else go home. you're valid and ily, you're great, but also: idc

[hsslilly-blog]

watching hallmark-esque christmas movies… wow these suck SO BAD lmao. claire would eat this up. she’d force hunt to watch these with her… and afterwards she’d write thoughtful letterboxd reviews…

[hotcupoteckla]

Omg, she's a Hallmark Movie Main Character.

Why would you do this to yourselves?

[arledrone]

p5 suou au microwaving in my head thinking about shiho's parents' change of heart eventually lead to katsuya and maya taking her in. hmm. oh i could be so unhinged about this. akechi has shit to Say about this and none of the Phantom Thieves are going to enjoy it because they always strive for the ideal outcome and. well. akechi does not. and i think too much peace so suddenly with her parents would just leave Shiho on edge after so long under their scrutiny anyway.

[czargasm]

I promised the DNFers a Christmas present, and I am working around the clock to deliver.

This Would Never Happen on the Hallmark Channel dropping early Christmas morning EST.

A little snippet for you to whet your appetite.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watching 11:59 and I can’t believe they just put a literal Hallmark romcom in the middle of Star Trek Voyager down to Shannon hating Christmas/New Years this show is wild

[nukaposting]

trying to imagine what sort of head injury i would have to sustain to view installing a new vegas NPC overhaul mod as a good idea

[wonder-worker]

What are your favorite Plantagenet-related novels, and why do you love them?

Hi! I'm so sorry, I don't read lots of medieval English historical fiction, and the ones I have read are pretty terrible (three guesses which).

Once again: sorry! If anyone else has any recommendations, feel free to share them!

[fellhellion]

as a purely personal preference i honestly kind of wish sm/2099 had more self contained issues and/or specials, since the restrained format seems to really prompt the writers (PAD as well as the guest writers of the specials) to play around with and explore a particular niche of the world building implications of 2099 upon the characters.

[kindahoping4forever]

i love that on this website we are so unserious that i can see a literal COUCH and my mind is like "oh this post is for Crystal"

Forever blessed to be associated with green couches, hammocks, gardening and star tattoos lmaooo 💙💙

[gavindna]

This isn’t even funny anymore I need letterkenny to be real and also to move there and be like a teacher or something and fall in love with a single dad so badly it’s insane im losing it over here