#half of which consisted of bullshit hours

[eldritchmochi]

best thing about living with just my wife is that they will not question it when they walk in after work to find me oozed on the couch with only half my clothes off, and not the usual half

[toytulini]

god that "morning people are an oppressive class" post annoys me in some way i cant. quite. ugh

[barcaatthemoon]

good morning || ingrid engen x reader ||

you're not a morning person, but ingrid tries to make an early morning easier on you.

you had never been one for an early wake up. even whenever ingrid let you sleep in, things weren't exactly easy. luckily, ingrid had been around you, both as a friend and your girlfriend, to know exactly how to make waking up easier for the both of you. admittedly, it was easier now that the two of you were together and ingrid had learned the quickest possible way to get you out of a bad mood.

"morning eskling," ingrid said softly. she was always careful to speak soft and quiet to you in the morning. ingrid noticed the way that you whined and tried to turn onto your stomach to get away from her. "come on, we need to get up."

"no," you grumbled. ingrid smiled to herself at the way your accent really shone through whenever you were tired. you tried to get away from her, but ingrid leaned over to press kisses to your cheek. she was peppering every bit of your face and neck in kisses, only stopping when you turned over to lay on your back. "all that and you won't give me a real kiss?"

"come on, let's get up and then i'll give you more kisses than you'll know what to do with," ingrid promised you. you were pouting the entire time, but you did follow ingrid out of bed and into the bathroom for your morning routine. she moved much quicker than you, which really just meant that by the time you got to the kitchen, she had two of your pre-prepped breakfast bowls and cups of coffee ready.

"you're a godsend." you sat down at the bar and immediately dug into your food. ingrid smiled as she sipped on her coffee and watched you. she didn't understand how you consistently ate like you were starving. it didn't matter what time of day it was or how much food you had, you ate the same way every single time. it had been a pretty big point of teasing for a lot of your teammates at various clubs. "ahem, my kisses."

"not when you've got yogurt all over half your face," ingrid teased. you pulled the inside of your shirt up to wipe away the bottom of your face. ingrid sighed as she leaned in, finally giving you what you wanted. "i swear you're like a toddler sometimes."

"i was much worse as a toddler, just ask my mami or ona. apparently i used to have quite the biting problem," you told her. ingrid believed it, she had never been with someone who was as keen on marking your territory with hickeys as you were. she thought it was some ridiculous possessive bullshit, but you were the least jealous person that she had ever met.

"you do realize that you'll probably need to go take a shower before we go to training now, right?" ingrid asked as she watched you spill a bit of your coffee on yourself. you were almost always a complete mess in the morning. you quickly downed the rest of your coffee and put your dishes into the sink before you raced off into the bathroom.

ingrid patiently waited for you to get out of the shower. you looked a lot more awake than you had been just moments before, but she could still see how tired you were. ingrid felt bad for making you get up so early, but the two of you had a long day ahead of yourself. the call time for training had been moved up hours ahead to allow for everybody who had resigned or signed for the first time to get their picture taken before the actual practice commenced.

"ingrid?" you called out as you sat down in the passenger's seat.

"yes, eskling," ingrid answered. you pouted at her, and she knew what you wanted before you even asked.

"can i have another kiss or like, five?" you asked. ingrid chuckled as she leaned over the console and pulled you in for a kiss. the first couple were nothing more than quick pecks, but you managed to hold her in for the third one. after that, ingrid gave you one more quick peck. you pouted as she started to pull away, which was when you felt her press one last kiss to your lips.

this one was the kiss to really wake you up. she squeezed your jaw a little, just enough for you to open your mouth. her tongue slipped past your lips, licking into your mouth several times as the hand on your jaw migrated down to your neck. ingrid squeezed gently, causing you to gasp into her mouth. you were definitely in a bit of a haze whenever ingrid really pulled away this time to pull out of her parking spot.

"i love you," you mumbled as you rested your head against the headrest and looked at her. ingrid placed one of her hands on your knee, squeezing gently as she smiled over at you.

"i love you too," ingrid told you. your heart fluttered in your chest at her words, something that you didn't think you'd ever get over. you could hear her tell you that she loved you a million times and it would never lose its magic.

[hellfirenacht]

This Machine...

Summary: Your birthday is coming up, and Eddie makes you a present. 

Tags: sfw, friends to lovers, slightly possessive Eddie and Reader if you squint, Eddie Munson x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k words

Master List

There were certain perks to being the school’s resident dealer. For one, Eddie had made very good friends with the old janitor that kept to himself, flying under everyone’s radar, including Higgins’. The nice perk that came with being friends with ol’ Mr. Greg was the fact that he had the keys to every single room in the school, which meant that Eddie’s lock-picking days were lowered considerably. 

These were good perks to have, especially since your birthday was coming up. Eddie had convinced the art teached at the beginning of every year to allow himself and his club to use the art room to make their Hellfire shirts. The art department had managed to get funding four years ago for a screen printing kit, convincing the board that having the ability to make shirts would create unity within the school. 

Frankly, Eddie thought that was a load of bullshit. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to use it to his advantage when he could. So every September, Eddie would gather his little sheepies for an afternoon of arts and crafts, creating the shirts and ruining the ones they were wearing in the mess. Eddie would always try and make a few extra, just in case there were stragglers that needed saving from the conformity of Hawkins High school. Not once did he consider the irony of having his sheep in uniform.

In most cases, the art teacher was willing to work with him and let him in without much fuss. Of course, that was when Eddie was still a student. He had now been a proud high school graduate for seven months and the shock of not being in school had him spiraling for the first month before he found himself working at the Hideout again. Work, rehearsal, work, rehearsal, a thirty minute set at the Hideout if he was lucky, work, rehearsal. 

God, he missed Hellfire. That was the only part of school that he missed; a consistent Dungeons and Dragons schedule. 

Still, it wasn’t all bad and monotonous. Turns out that if you aren’t stuck at school 8 hours a day, 5 days a week you can go other places when children are at school. And when you go to places where kids aren’t, you tend to meet adults. 

Enter you. 

You had been working at the record store on morning shift, and had been for a few months now. Although you had more often than not worked weekends, somehow you and Eddie had eluded each other in the two years of you sorting through the various artists and ringing up customers. 

It had been a Thursday when Eddie met you, a fact he only remembered because the previous night had been the day that Bev allowed him to go on two nights in a row at the Hideout, which had been unheard of for Corroded Coffin. 

“Ain’t no one barely here anyways, Eddie.” she’d said, having long since stopped calling him Junior. 

He had been flying high, and an old drunk had even left him a tip on the bar, enough to drop by the record store and pick up an album he’d been eyeing for a while. You had been standing at the boxes, resetting them and reorganizing them for the hundredth time that week. It had been so slow that day that it was all you could do to keep yourself busy. 

W.A.S.P had been playing at a near whisper quiet volume, and when Eddie asked you about it you had just smiled, shrugged, and said that the owner only allowed you to play them on Thursdays when it was dead, or Sunday morning when anyone who’d get offended by the lyrics would be at church. 

The two of you had been friends ever since. 

A half hour of idle chat about music had turned into five months of late night talks on the phone, hanging out in Eddie’s van, swapping music back and forth, visiting each other during your shifts, and a tentative bi-monthly D&D session with you, and Corroded Coffin. 

Eddie would never know how badly he messed up your sleep schedule, going on late at night with Corroded Coffin when you had a morning shift, but it was always worth it to give him a sober audience member. 

The best nights though, were the times where you’d come over and just... hang out with him. You’d come over to Wayne’s trailer after your shift, or he’d pick you up from your place, and the two of you would just sit and talk. 

You never bat an eye at how messy his room was, and he made sure there was no food left out and would at least make an effort to clean out all of the beer cans in his room. Mostly you’d just sit on his bed and watch him play guitar, or spend hours talking about everything and nothing. 

As much as you enjoyed hearing him practice the same riff on his electric guitar over and over again, you had admitted to him that you always had a soft spot for the acoustic guitar that collected a little more dust in the corner that he’d pull out on rare occasions. 

THIS MACHINE SLAYS DRAGONS

You’d voiced your fondness for the instrument several times, enjoying the combination of Woody Gunthrie’s iconic guitar adjusted for your friends’ eccentric taste. 

Five months of friendship. Five months of hanging out with no pressure, no needing to look after each other, five months of feeling like a fucking human in this damn town. 

And one month of having the most embarrassing and awkward crush on you. 

Eddie had dated before, and he’d been interested in girls and some girls had even shown some interest in him until they realized that Eddie wasn’t someone to be fixed or saved. Eddie had even had sex before, but not to the extreme lengths that he’d found had been circulating in high school. 

Seriously, who had the time to come up with half the shit that this town thought he’d allegedly done? 

You found great joy in hearing about his spin in the rumor mill. Whenever one of you heard a rumor about the Freak, you’d compare notes and laugh about how stupid it was. Of course, Eddie put little effort into actually stopping the rumors, and now that he was no longer in high school it didn’t seem to matter as much anymore. He’d still get dirty looks from people in town but he found that more often than not people would just leave him alone now. Jocks, nerds, freaks, cheerleaders; outside the halls of Hawkins High those words didn’t hold half the weight they used to. 

“So they’re saying that now you spiked the punch at homecoming?” you asked, laughing. “I must have missed that dance.”

“Yeah, so did I. I only went to homecoming once in school and that was Sophomore year.” Eddie replied, his fingers tabbing out a melody that he had been working on for a new song. “And there was no way I was able to get my hands on any alcohol that night.”

“Why would you waste perfectly good alcohol on a high school dance, anyway?” you laughed.

Eddie could listen to you laugh for hours. 

And it was because of this, that Eddie was now back at Hawkins High, while Ol’ Greg unlocked the art room on this fine weekend. It didn’t take much convincing, Ol’ Greg didn’t give a shit about Eddie’s reputation and never had, and for that Eddie had slipped the janitor an extra joint for his trouble as payment for letting him in. 

The room looked about the same as it had the last few weeks of school, aside from some new art projects. Other than that, everything was in about the same place. Eddie wasted a little time wandering around the room, looking at the different projects and taking in the scent of old clay and dried paint. Aside from the old drama room, the art room was the only other place in the school where he felt okay in this hellhole. 

It didn’t take much to get your shirt size. You always had a bad habit of leaving your sweaters in his van, so going to grab a blank hoodie in your size was the easy part. The design he was using was easy as well, and after so many years of making Hellfire Club shirts he could probably make this in his sleep. 

But he wouldn’t, because he wanted this to be perfect. So for the next few hours he carefully pulled out the equipment, found the right shade of red he wanted to use and painstakingly created the stencil, adding his own personal flair to it. The finished product was probably nicer than any Hellfire Club shirt he’d ever made. 

By the end of it, your new hoodie was done and he was sure that you’d love it so much that you’d never forget it in his van. 

With the finished product in hand he was able to lock up, thank Ol’ Greg, and make his way home. 

Now all Eddie had to do was give it to you for your birthday. The two of you had made plans to hang out that morning together at Benny’s for some birthday waffles or pancakes or french toast or whatever you wanted. He’d treat you, he’d been saving for this. 

Then he’d give you the gift, and you’d love it and then he’d suck it up and ask you out. He could do this. Jeff swore to Eddie up and down that you clearly had feelings for him. Eddie wasn’t stupid, he’d noticed your flirting and had flirted back so many times. This dance between the two of you had been going on for weeks now, but it didn’t make it any less terrifying. With any luck, the note he had tucked into the pocket would also help him out. 

You were already at your usual booth when he arrived that Sunday morning. It was supposed to be a very quiet morning, Benny’s was never busy first thing on Sunday. So when Eddie walked into the diner to meet you, his stomach dropped as he saw the rest of his band already sitting with you. 

A chorus of his friends called him over, and Eddie, dejected, slid in the booth on the opposite side of you. You were on the end of one booth, seated next to Jeff and Zack, while Eddie took the spot next to Gareth. 

Eddie wanted to be pissed at the guys for ruining his plan, but then he saw the look on your face. You were thrilled to be around everyone and were excitedly talking to Jeff about the new song that he was learning. It was your birthday, your day, and if you were having fun, that was the important part. He did make sure to put your food on his tab though, he wasn’t going to let anyone else have that satisfaction. 

As the morning went on, Eddie had completely forgotten about the hoodie currently sitting in the small bag by his leg. He was only reminded of it when Gareth got up to go pee and Eddie was forced out of the booth, as his foot kicked the bag and you noticed it. 

Your eyes immediately lit up when you noticed the red gift bag and your smile widened. 

“Eddie, is that for me?” you asked, batting your eyelashes. “Did you get me a present?”

He didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone, that hadn’t been part of the plan. But he sucked it up and pulled the hoodie out and tossed it to you. Eddie could worry about asking you out later when the rest of his friends weren’t around. He’d never want to put that pressure on you anyway. 

“Yessss!” you grabbed it eagerly in your hands and unfolded the hoodie, noticing the design. 

This Machine Slays Dragons was splashed across the front, and on the front pocket was a small colony of bats, just like the ones on Eddie’s arm. He watched as your eyes widened, in surprise and delight, and felt a wave of relief wash over him as you eagerly put it on. 

“Holy shit, Eddie, I love it!” you said, and got out of the booth to throw your arms around him. Your lips pressed against his cheek, and for a moment Eddie felt like he was on cloud nine as he hugged you back, giving you a slight squeeze before you pulled away. 

“You always said you liked my guitar.” He said, shooting a look to his bandmates who were making kissy faces behind your back. The glare only egged them on. 

“It’s got your bats on it.” you said, looking down at the design, smoothing it out. “This is so fuckin’ cool!”

As you ran your hands down the design, you heard a faint crinkle in the pocket. When you reached inside, alarm bells went off in Eddie’s head and he quickly muttered something about needing a cigarette before turning on his heel and walking straight outside to his van. 

He’d completely forgotten the note that he had slipped into the pocket. You absolutely were not supposed to open that in front of everyone. Eddie leaned against the back of his van, lightly smacking his head against the door, the barely touched cigarette in his hand. 

“Eddie...?” Your voice made him go stiff, his head still against the fan. He took one long drag of the cigarette and exhaled the smoke before standing up straight to look at you. You were holding the note in your hand with a sheepish grin on your face. 

“Hey.” He said, not sure how to proceed. He couldn’t read your smile. Was it a sad smile? Were you going to awkwardly tell him that you didn’t feel the same but you could be friends? He could live with that, but it would really sting. 

“So....” you looked at the note and read the two words printed there in his handwriting. “‘Date me’, huh? I’ve heard you come up with the wildest descriptions for things when we play D&D, but the most you could jot down was... ‘Date me’?”

It was. Eddie had racked his brain for hours on what to say to you, but he couldn’t find the words he wanted to. Everything felt either too cheesy, or too stiff, or not him, or too casual. He was really banking on the hoodie to be more of a selling point than the note. 

“I thought it’d be cuter if it had just been the two of us this morning.” Eddie admitted. “Look, I get it if you’re here to respectfully decline. We can just be friends, I swear I won’t make it weird-”

“I’ll date you.” The words were firm and steadfast. There wasn’t a single waiver in your voice as you said those three words. You took a step closer to him and shoved the note back in the hoodie pocket. “Eddie I... I want to date you. I’ve wanted to date you for about 10 minutes after we met.” 

Eddie’s head lowered slightly and his eyes widened as he stared at you. “Are you serious?”

“Well, yeah.” you said. “A cute guy walks into a record store, knows about good music, invites me to play D&D and then becomes one of my best friends? Yes, Eddie, I want to date you.” 

Eddie snuffed out the barely touched cigarette and leaned in towards you. God, he was fucking clueless sometimes.

“You know... that hoodie looks good on you.” He said, trying to sound smooth. “It’ll look better in the back of my van.” 

You stared blankly at him for a second and then burst out laughing, your head thrown back. “No, no, nevermind.” you cackled. “I changed my mind. I’m done. We’re done.” 

Had Eddie not known you as well as he did, he might have taken that as a real rejection. But he knew that laugh, he’d heard it a hundred times over the past few months. 

He reached out and grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him, you were still smiling wide when you looked up at him. “Seriously, Eddie? I agree to date you and you pull out that line?”

“Don’t get mad at me, Sweetheart.” He said. “You’re the one constantly leaving your clothes in my van. I don’t know why you’re laughing at my perfectly innocent statement.”

“Oh fuck off, Eddie.” You laughed. “You know exactly what you said and how you meant it. And maybe I wouldn’t have had to leave my clothes in your van all the time if you had asked me out earlier.” 

“And would you care to share that logic with me?” Eddie raised an eyebrow. Had you really been leaving things in his van on purpose?

“I had to mark my territory.” you said with a smile. “Can’t let anyone in your van think that you’re seeing someone else.”

It was Eddie’s turn to laugh and you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Ah yes, the most popular freak in all of Hawkins definitely has a line out the door of people wanting to date him.” he said, his hands finding your hips. 

“You’re laughing. I’ve seen you flirting with Ms. Robin’s at The Hideout and you're laughing at me?” you tried to pout, but you were holding back your own giggles. 

“Ms. Robins is a 75 year old woman who can drink everyone under the table.” Eddie pointed out. 

“See? How am I supposed to compete with that! I had to sacrifice my jackets to make sure no one would be asking you out.” you protested. “What else could I-”

Eddie had originally planned on asking if it was okay for him to kiss you first, but he knew that if he didn’t do something now you’d keep cracking jokes and this conversation wouldn’t go anywhere. You tasted faintly like your birthday breakfast, but Eddie quickly decided that it wasn’t a bad thing. He felt the faint push of your lips back against his, and he mentally kicked himself for not doing this the first time you two hung out.

“Happy birthday.” Eddie said, as he finally pulled back. 

“Guess I got my wish, and I didn’t even have to blow out any candles.” you replied, just a little bashful at the admission.

“You aren’t allowed to leave this hoodie in my van.” Eddie said. “You can leave any other jacket or sweater in there but not this one.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” you said, “But why this one specifically?” 

Eddie touched the pocket that had the bats that matched his tattoo. “Because how else will other people know that you’re seeing someone?” 

“Oh, you little shit!” you laughed. “Really? You think I’m weird for what I did when you basically put your logo on a hoodie that you know I’m going to wear every day?”

“Guess that makes us both freaks now.” He replied, with a satisfied grin. 

“There are worse things to be in a small town.” you decided, taking his hand. “So I guess this means you’re my boyfriend now. No take backs.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Sweetheart.” Eddie crossed his heart.

You leaned in and gave him another quick kiss. “Come on. The sooner we go back in there, the sooner you all can sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me, and the sooner that’s done, then the sooner we can leave. And if you play your cards right, Eddie, you might get lucky and see this hoodie on the floor of your van anyway.” 

“So, the line worked?” He smirked. 

“Come on, Zack is hiding a box of cupcakes.” you laced your fingers with his. “Dessert first and then second dessert.”

“And then elevensies dessert?” Eddie teased. 

“It’s my birthday and I will change my mind, I swear.” you cackled, walking back into the diner with him. 

And because he knew your laugh so well, he had a very good feeling about how he’d help celebrate your birthday when the two of you would finally be alone. 

Thank you @hellfiredarling for the hoodie! They made it for me for my birthday last year 💜

Divider by @strangergraphics

[thedevilrisen]

Prompt Poll - One

Jack Hughes x sister!Y/N

Prompt: “You don’t have to tell me anything, we can just sit here”

Description: Jack’s sister has relationship troubles, Jack knows what she needs.

A/N: I hope you enjoy! Would be greatly appreciated if you could reblog. I love talking to people so say 'Hi' if you want to. Feel Free to send in requests as well. I'm happy to write for most hockey players.

Warnings: Crying, swearing, thats probably it! Mainly just good brother Jack fluff.

-Sincerely thedevilrisen.

-:-

Wet sniffles and the front door opening and closing with a quiet click an hour before it was suppose to is something that concerns three exceptionally protective brothers very much.

Quinn was the first to launch into action, tearing off the couch and toward the sound that scares them all half to death. Their sister, crying.

Before he could even leave the room in walked a sodden, puffy cheeked, red eyed girl. Her dark hair was plastered to her forehead and across the sides of her neck.

"What the hell happened?" asked Luke, half hysterical. Turning around on the couch, bug-eyed at sight of his normally well-put together sister a wet shivering, mess?

"Nothing Luke."

"Well that's bullshit." the troubled boy shot back.

"Lukey, just calm it for a second." Jack asked, significantly calmer than both of the other boys.

"No, Jack, Luke's completely correct in his statement!" Quinn, normally level headed, fired off. "She's crying and home way too early aren't you meant to be at Jessie's?"

"I'm not crying Quinn! I'm cold and Jessie is at her dad's!" the young girl warbled. "I'm going bed. Goodnight."

"Like hell you are!" the oldest shouted. "You're going to sit and tell us the truth."

She hated the way Quinn spat the word truth like he knew she'd been lying to them. She hadn't been lying per-se, not to all of them and not in great amounts, just leaving out certain details.

"Y/N, it's okay go upstairs and sleep if you would like to." Jack spoke sternly, more so at Quinn then at then now shivering girl standing meekly at the bottom of the staircase.

"Jack! Are you with us or against us?" Luke stated betrayed, the slight recognition in his features as he slowly realises his older brother's nonchalant-ness.

"I'm on neither side. If she doesn't feel comfortable talking then I don't think we need to pry." Jack continued, trying to diffuse the situation.

"What do you know." Luke's eyes narrowed along with his accusatory remark.

"Nothing more than you do." Jack stated calmly. He wasn’t fond of hiding information from his brothers especially when it involved their sister. He had his reasons though.

-

Jack’s Friday night plans did not consist of comforting his devastated sister.

A quiet shuffle of footsteps along the carpet in the hallway was barely noticeable amidst the cacophony of a summer storm. Light crept slowly into Jack’s room.

“Jacky?” an unreasonably timid voice asked into the darkness.

“mh- ompf.” he had grumbled, back digging into his phone which had been lost when he drifted off. “what’s up kid?”

"can i talk to you please?" she had mumbled through the small gap.

"yeah," he hoisted himself up from the bed. "come in kid, what's going on?"

"ihaveaboyfriend." she spoke at lightning speed. standing by the door apprehensively almost like she was ready to run if she needed.

slowly comprehending jack blinked drearily. "im sorry what?"

taking a deep breath she took a few steps and sat on the end of the bed. "i have a boyfriend," she spoke solemnly.

"shouldn't that be a happy thing?"

"he stood me up three nights in a row."

"ah, a not so happy thing." jack mumbled now realising the gravity of the situation.

"no.”

“what can i do to help?” Jack sighed. at this statement the smaller girl launched into his arms.

“don’t tell Quinn or Luke.” she cried into his chest.

“is there something else you need to tell me?”

“I do, but not now.” the girl crawled up closer to the head board with her brother and tucked herself under he arm.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, we can just sit here.”

“Thanks Jacky.”

-:-

This is probably the most half-assed thing ive ever wrote. im terribly sorry. 👍

if anyone cares i will be putting out the next prompt post later today and something about the au im creating!

find the prompt list for requests here.

[prettypinklass]

Persona 3 and Persona 4 are funny to sort timelines for because there is a one(1) year gap between the games. Now if you push p4 back by one year and put Minato in Inaba-

Im putting a cut here because spoilers for both games

Nyx gets chased off and not even a year later Izanami goes "its free real estate" lol

So Minato lives for unspecified reasons and (reluctantly) moves back to Inaba after the events of P3. He takes Koromaru with him (you can pry them as a duo from my cold dead hands) and attends Yasogami for his final year of high school. Which sucks because a. all his friends are at Gekkoukan and b. Yasogami is a terrible school and Inaba is a small town. He's losing his mind out here gang

Anyway then the midnight channel shows up and it hasn't even been a year since the dark hour vanished so you can imagine how upset he is about this. But he's way too nice so of course when he finds out a group of underclassmen have taken it upon themselves to fight shadows and solve the murder case he and Koromaru end up involved.

Dynamics with the investigation team include:

Yu Narukami - consistently on the same bullshit wavelength and nobody knows how (its the Wild Card Wavelength)

Yosuke Hanamura - punches him at least once for the internalized homophobia but they bond over music

Teddie - he reminds him of Aigis a bit. Trying to teach him to be Better then what he learns from Yosuke

Chie Satonaka - she reminds him of Yukari and its terrifying

Yukiko Amagi - you never fuck with the healers (also a bit scared of her)

Kanji Tatsumi - thinks hes cool. likes his dolls. would also like him to leave Koromaru alone

Rise Kujikawa - MUSIC BUDDIES!! Rise makes fun of him but she gets away with it (he is nothing if not respectful of the navigators who can make or break a fight)

Naoto Shirogane - siblings. arisato/shirogane family au my beloved

Entertaining scenarios include

"Why does your dog have a knife" "He likes them" "arf!"

"What do you mean I dont need to shoot myself in here"

Minato participating in the drag pageant

Elizabeth and Margaret sharing a velvet room for an extended period of time

Mitsuru in the background getting gray hairs because "minato what the fuck do you mean theres shadows in inaba"

Social link to explore Minato's character more

The exchange with Gekkoukan is 10x more entertaining if Minato is there to both comment on the love hotel he almost died in once and be friends with half the students at Gekkoukan

Anyway thats my au proposal

[nicromancytarot]

RECONCILIATION WITH MY TWIN FLAME 😔😔

Rip for the girlies who know what this bullshit is like, good god, someone save me.

Hello and welcome to Nicromancy’s talk on the magnetising grab, and trapped sensation of having a twin flame. So if you guys remember, back in April I had a situationship, well this was my ex situationship from literally three years ago. Personally, knowing who my future spouse is - that’s the one I want (big sigh) however, this stupid man has a hold on me that I will never be able to deny.

How I know he’s my twin flame (some small examples cus I’m not getting all into that lmao)

- First time we met I had that “lost in his eyes” moment, I WISH I WAS KIDDING. And I don’t even do eye contact, he’s like the only one I can do it with without wanting to die.

- I swore I was over him two years ago, but consistently dreamt about him for the next three years.

- Insatiable connection, I cannot describe how this shit feels, besides the fact I hate it.

Now I know it’s up to personal opinions and preference, but I do not want to end up with a twin flame, if you asked 2023 me, then maybe. But this version of me is improved and slaying. Well that’s what I thought.

The guy and I spoke for a month, he embarrassed himself countless times, tried to impress me with knowledge he stole from ChatGPT, was incredibly speedy to asking me to date him, all that jazz. I rejected each and every one of these advances, and unintentionally ghosted him at the end of the month. Which brings me to four days ago.

I’d ghosted him for three months, occasionally checking his reposts and dreaming about him consistently for two and a half of those months. I posted something on TikTok, and he immediately popped up. The next day he then said he wanted to reunite our spark (“build a bond” in his words)

So, tips on how to get over a twin flame and separate our connection would be great 🤭

I take 5-20 hours to get back to his messages on a good day, and I am incredibly blunt and boring. Rejection scares me since this man is depressed as hell and I don’t wanna cause any setbacks or anything.

Advice is appreciated 🫶🏻🫶🏻 kiss kiss, mwah mwah

[dami-is-delusional]

Fighting or Flirting?: A Series of Confusing Events (seriously. someone stop them.) - Steve Rogers x ExHydra!Male!Reader

Summary: You used to be an experiment, curated by Hydra to be a living weapon. Somewhere along the line, SHIELD saved you and decided to place you with the Avengers. As the superficial leader, Steve Rogers tried his best to welcome you. Somehow it all went downhill from there... until it didn't!

(enemies to lovers, might not be the most accurate Steve, my second fic ever so i apologize in advance.)

PART ONE: Introduction

You remembered the exact day that SHIELD freed you from your "room" (even prisoners had better facilities). It was an odd sort of feeling. You had been at HYDRA for so long that most of the staff were almost kind to you. You made small talk to them while they ran their tests. You almost couldn't remember what life was like on the outside. So when a bunch of SHIELD agents broke down the door to your room and found you reading a comic book, you just shrugged. You went with them and did as they said. It was weird, hearing them talk so softly and act so gently. You wondered if this is what normal people were like. They took you to SHIELD's main facility and assessed you. They figured out your powers and realized that you were a bit different from the other HYDRA experiments. You had managed to not go insane (which was debatable if they had asked you) by retaining your absolute "no shits to give" attitude. It baffled them but they couldn't really complain. It meant they had one less Bucky Barnes to deal with...

After about half a year of living and working with SHIELD, Nick Fury called you down to his office. You made your way there, ignoring the looks that always seemed to linger on your skin. You knew that people still thought of you as an experiment. You didn't care much, you hated socialization anyways. You also knew that they were wary of your powers, which was understandable. Your powers consisted of the ability to steal the energy of those around you. The energy you stole could then be transformed into your own energy that you could use to fight. You never knew how to explain it since you never bothered to listen to all the scientists yapping for hours about your abilities. But self exposition aside, you finally found yourself in Fury's office. Never being one to follow social cues, you waltzed in there carelessly.

Fury, irritated with your manners but too tired to say anything, looked up from his screens.

"Hello Y/N, thank you for coming." Fury began as he watched you mindlessly look around his office. "I know you have the attention span of a two year old on a sugar high, so I'll keep this short. You will become an addition to the Avengers."

At that, you paused in your internal critique of his interior design choices. You processed what he said and your face contorted into what could be described as disgust.

"Me? You want me to join the Avengers? As in, a team??" you looked at Fury as if he had gotten brain damage from the fumes of bullshit he dealt with everyday. Fury just rolled his eyes and quickly counted to ten in his head.

"Yes to all of that. We think you would be a great addition. We did it for Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton. SHIELD agents seem to do really well with the Avengers. And plus, didn't you say you wanted to try and do some good for the world?" Fury asked, looking at the ex-HYDRA soldier pointedly. you simply shrugged.

"I just said that because my favourite comics showed cool heroes. Also, I was hoping for more of a 'vigilante' kind of gig. I don't really do... teams," you explained, talking about teams in the same way one would talk about a piece of gum on their shoe.

"Well isn't that too bad." Fury looked at you with a deadpan expression. "The decision has already been made. Pack whatever you need, someone will drop you off at the Avengers tower tomorrow morning."

You tried to protest but immediately shut up when you saw his face. You walked out of Fury's office backwards with an awkward, tight-lipped smile. Not like you were scared of him or anything. And it definitely wasn't because you saw him reach for his gun. Nope, Y/N was not scared of anything.

[phoenixyfriend]

The Myth of the Rational Actor

Ko-fi prompt from @vincentursus:

the myth of the rational actor please?

The myth as such: people will act in a perfectly rational manner, and the economy will respond in reaction to that.

So... the idea here is that emotions will never influence someone's actions in making economic choices.

Which is, as we can guess, bullshit.

To quote Medium,

Mainstream (neo-classical) economics idealizes human beings as perfectly rational actors when it comes to making decisions. This concept, known as rational choice theory, is based on three assumptions: 1. People have complete and consistent preferences (which can be assigned quantitative values called utilities) among a set of decision outcomes 2. People act independently based on full and relevant information 3. People always select the decision option that maximizes their utility.

So. That's absurd. Let's start from the bottom, utility.

One of the first things you learn in any marketing class is that half the industry is run on an appeal to emotion.

(The other half of it actually is an appeal to logic, like 'you can use this tool to compare your insurance costs,' which is the aforementioned rational action.)

The most obvious example of that utility element being wrong is: Food.

For a completely rational actor, the food purchased would be the most nutrition for the least cost. Taste is irrelevant. Ambience is irrelevant. Occasion is irrelevant. You fill out the food pyramid for whatever you can pay the least amount of cash. Buy a fifty pound bag of rice, wholesale canned tuna, and frozen veggie mixes that you only need five minutes to heat up and consume.

Chocolate? No. Salt or sugar? Only enough to fulfill your need for water absorption. Spices? Waste of money!

This sounds extreme, because a complete lack of emotional impact on your purchasing habits is extreme. You seek things that make you happy or pleased. You search for sweet tastes that cheer you up, for fatty tastes that satisfy you, for spicy flavors that you can eat in a competition with your friends to prove who's the manliest.

That's not rational! But we do it! Food is an inherently irrational thing to purchase, unless you are so strapped for cash that you cannot afford to be anything other than fully dedicated to the highest calorie:dollar ratio that you can find.

The other thing that the utility factor disregards is charity. On the standard 'rational' definition used in economics, charity is completely irrational for anyone who doesn't get a tax cut from it.

But people engage in charitable actions and donations anyway.

Full and relevant information: Uhhhhh no

I think we can all agree that full and relevant information is not actually a reality for most people.

Manufacturers bend the truth. Marketers omit things. Word of mouth is unreliable. Influencers lie. Online reviews are fake.

Some don't! But you don't know who is or isn't lying unless there is a law that controls what information they can put out. Researching takes time, and figuring out which lies are actually lies is difficult.

There are a lot of videos all over YouTube talking about scams, both the obvious, and the more subtle. There's a reason that misinformation is such a huge industry these days, and hey! A lot of misinformation relies on those aforementioned appeals to emotion that are both a marketing device and a rhetorical one.

Complete and consistent preferences: Sometimes?

I mean, some people have complete and consistent preferences. I have a favorite Starbucks drink that I get most times (technically I have four and it depends on the weather). I have stylistic preferences for my clothing. I have musical preferences.

But it still takes me time to make decisions when at a restaurant, you know? My little sister likes a lot of foods, sure, but if you ask her to pick a place to eat it can take literal hours. Hell, there are entire phenomenons named after the fact that people don't have preferences and have trouble making decisions!

And on top of all that, you have people whose 'preference' is spontaneity. They pick whatever they haven't tried before, because it's new, and exciting, and that's cool!

Which really harshes the mellow on that whole "clear and consistent preferences" thing.

Where does that leave us?

Well, the rational actor is clearly a majorly inaccurate standard to hold individual consumers and the market to. That said, I don't think more than a handful of very extreme people would ever claim that the rational actor is an absolutely perfect predictor for the market.

Rather, it's used as a starting point. If the market reacts to forces in a completely rational manner, here is what we would be expecting. Then, upon projecting the actions of the market under the most rational and perfect conditions, we can apply other possible factors. The possible success of a marketing campaign. The risks of weather or politics impacting supply lines. An unexpected trend rising up from a comedic social media moment among teens and young people.

Imagine you have a catapult. Imagine you know what the catapult will do under perfect conditions, with consistent rope length and artillery weight and weather conditions. The numbers you run your basic physics class formulas with are the rational actor.

The market trends that cause that rational prediction to have error margins is the equivalent of "the wind's been varying between 3mph and 9mph, and from NW to SWW."

I'm not sure how safely I can get away with embedding images that I don't personally have the rights to when they're actually relevant to the education portion of this, and not just a silly joke like the TGP inclusion up there, so I'll just tell you to go look at the first graph at this link, and you'll see what I mean about the 'best, most predictable case' line vs the 'actual possibilities' forecast.

Hope that helps!

(If you wanted me to go more into the history of this concept than its actual uses, uh... whoops?)

[mariamariquinha]

Some thoughts on Frank Castle (since he came to my orbit quite recently)

"Cut it out."

"I said I don't need help."

"You say a lot of bullshit. Now shut the fuck up and lemme work here."

Being totally honest, you and Frank were just an acquaintance. Same line of work, the undertone of living for the kill, you know.

You're pissed. Your own last recent job was harsh, leaving you with nothing but bruises all over your body and face.

He kept swiping his eyes over your form, making mental notes, probably understanding that you were also pissed to have to deal with him at that moment.

"There you go," You said, the wound on the side of his head now clean and covered. "Is there anything else you need?"

"I didn't need anything else in the first place," He grunted, which made you roll your eyes.

You two looked at each other for a beat.

"... Looks like you had a lot of fun, so Curtis will call soon. If you want me to say you didn't stop by, work something out so I can use it as an excuse."

"You can think of something."

"Wasn't you saying you didn't need anything in the first place?" You provoked with a raised eyebrow. "It needs to be consistent or so he'll worry. Be creative."

He didn't say a word, so you let it go. Getting out of the bathroom, you'd heard the door close while walking away.

Frank took a 15 minute shower, but he stayed in the bathroom for half an hour.

You watched from the kitchen the way he looked around when he entered in your eyesight, glanced at you, then sat on one of the chairs.

"You hungry?" You asked lazily, sipping on a lukewarm beer (the same one you'd been nursing before he stumbled inside your apartment).

He grunted. Again, you rolled your eyes.

That was a silent dinner, then a silent night.

"What happened with you?"

The two of you were sitting on the couch, even if in different corners, and the question he threw your way made you squirm a little.

"Work. You?"

He averted your gaze, turning his eyes back to the TV even if it was off.

It was never the end of the discussion with Frank, though. He always kept stuff in mind to basically interrogate you later, and then you would argue that you shouldn't open your mouth if he never shared his bullshit with you.

And that was what he did.

You were in the bathroom before bed, trying to change the bandage on your ribs, when you saw him in the reflection of the mirror.

With nothing but a bra and shorts, you didn't mind having him seeing you like that. You minded when he saw you like that.

"I'll do it."

You didn't protest. Frank walked closer and started to examine the wound, probably analyzing the other bruises on your back, arms and legs.

"I'll stay here for a few days if you don't mind," His voice was a murmur, his gaze tucked in your wounds instead of your face. After a beat of silence, you nodded.

"Laying low?"

"What I'm going to do can wait."

"... And what is it you're gonna do?"

No answer. You sighed in frustration.

"I know you're not the one to take advice, but you need to be more cautious. You may not be irreplaceable, but Curtis can find someone else who does what you do."

He wasn't looking at you when he said so, giving you nothing but his profile while he started to work on the new bandage carefully.

"Like you."

Not a question, but a statement. That made him share a glance with you over the mirror.

"... I'm not you."

"I know," You said.

"And he knows it too. Be careful anyway."

When he finished his work, you two called it a night, laying together on the matress but not quite touching each other. No one really were in condition to use the couch.

"Jersey."

You turned your head at him, his eyes on the ceiling for a bit. Sensing your confused expression, Frank mirrored your gestured and eyed you back.

"Tell Curtis I'm in Jersey. Contacted from a public phone."

"I don't know if there's public phones in Jersey."

"There isn't. He knows it."

You frowned even more.

"He'll get it. Give us a break."

"Us?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Mm-hm. I still need to know who did that shit with you," He adjusted himself to be closer.

Since he left the last time, it was quite a pleasure to have him in your arms again that night, bruises and all.

-----------------------------

special shout out to @thoroughlymodernminutia because we're holding hands in the meanings of having it bad for jon bernthal.

[atragicallycrispydude]

It's been a few days of Slayer.

Fuck this guy.

Genuinely.

I think it took everyone (myself included) a few days to realize the bullshit you can get away with with him but like.

Fuuuuuuuuck

Here's a character with very very little movement! But we gave him a 14f forward lunging punch that covers most of the screen and will usually trade positively. Also he can break the wall on counter-hit with said punch at a little closer than MIDSCREEN.

Oops! Did you end up in the corner because you were forced to respect the moves that WILL lead to a 200 HP punish if you get smacked with one, or you got smacked and he got full screen carry? Fuck you! You will have to fight with everything you have just to GET OUT, and if you fuck up ONCE you are going through the wall and losing 200hp. Don't try to jump either, It's Late has a hitbox that reaches into the stratosphere and leaves him about +100 on air block.

What's that? He has 50 meter? you lose. you just fucking lose. the Mappas that are supposed to end pressure? RC them. Did he hit you with a Mappa? RC that shit for a guaranteed wallbreak, and potentially a Pilebunker loop. Did you get him blocking? YELLOW ROMAN CANCEL ITS HIS TURN NOW AND HES +10. (I have general problems with YRC, but Slayer really highlights them for me) I'd be fine with the meter thing if he didn't build meter so fast, but FUCK ME it's like he has a generator hidden in his coat or something that increases the bar when you aren't looking.

Full screen whiff punish that leaves you point blank at advantage. Fuck. You. Also it has a sweet spot, which is hard to consistently route into and feels a LOT like just a random "oh shit I won the round on that wakeup super lol"

Last Horizon is kinda cool, but it exaggerates the problem of "oops I got touched oh shit I'm dead" because you can get it off of ANY FUCKING NON-P NORMAL.

Its so weird that he's like this, though. I put in like 100 hours on XRD Slayer, and Strive feels extremely similar. What HAPPENED? XRD Slayer didn't do this! He didn't shut everything down! He ran some nasty fucking mix, sure, but he had very defined weaknesses. And sure, XRD Slayer gets preposterous damage with meter on stray hits, I'm not going to argue that, but it really didn't seem to happen as much as it used to.

I think the biggest problem, really, is Pilebunker. Pilebunker was never really a combo tool in XRD, unless you had meter or got very specific hits. But now? You can confirm that shit off of anything! Like, literally almost any hit!

Masters. Fucking. Hammer. +26 on block. Safe on whiff. Hitbox like a Behemoth typhoon. Ambiguous cross-up. I don't even care that it has a long startup, GOOD LUCK ACTUALLY SMACKING SLAYER OUT OF THE AIR! HES IN THE FUCKING STRATOSPHERE!

To be a little calmer, I feel Slayer's biggest problem is that he forces the opponent to take huge risks for little reward, while himself not being at a lot of risk for high reward. If he were to stay in his current state, with all the damage and everything the same, I think that every tool in his arsenal should be unsafe on block. That's probably very harsh, but something needs to be done. At the VERY LEAST make all of his moves borderline unsafe, like -4 -5 or something idfk man he's ridiculous

It sucks. I was so so excited for him, so excited to get to do cool stuff with him, and the stuff he does is cool! But he's just, so, so strong. So fucking strong. I said a few days ago that he was "lower-mid top tier," but I was just clearly not thinking straight. Slayer is potentially the strongest character in the game. Sure, whatever, he has lackluster defense, but good luck actually getting him in the corner, WHERE HE CAN STILL GET A STRAY HIT FOR AT LEAST 150DMG AND ADVANTAGE.

I don't even know how you'd fix him, honestly. Half his damage numbers or some shit idfk man

[johannestevans]

OKAY so i am now about 8 or 9 hours into my first BG3 playthrough and i'm enjoying it a LOT, i was worried i would struggle more with the mechanics than i actually am based off my experiences with BG1 and 2

the writing is so good and it's FUNNY and i'm enjoying it a lot

i really love a lot of the elf lore, i feel like i'm being consistently rewarded for having set up a background in performance and knowledge and taking routes that engage with those skills rather than them being like, occasional afterthoughts compared to stealth or strength

which is how i often feel in other RPGs

i like how sexy everyone is, i love all the flirtation and the amount of kink present in different ways and astarion and gale are a lot of fun to flirt with, i'm excited to start flirting with wyll and halsin as well

the explorer difficulty feels really well balanced for me, and while some mechanics are annoying me, it's because. DND mechanics annoy me

i HATE the movement bullshit, i hate the way spells work, i hate that bards do actual spells instead of "casting" auras via performances

but yeah. i'm gonna fuck so many people in this game and i'm having tremendous fun with it, because i'm using my friend's computer to do it i'm thinking i'll just be playing like. half or most of a day a week or something like that, which should be fun

i haven't got karlach or halsin yet, i'm currently playing in the underdark and LOVING all the fucking horrid mushrooms and how creepy they are, they're so great

[theoneofwhomisblue]

Maybe following 3,000 people isn't great

Because I fucking hate scrolling through this fucking site now

I'm not even joking, I fucking hate this shit

This site sucks ass

Also if this post has less than 10 notes in 3 hours I'm deleting it

I know this is completely my fault. I also don't give a fuck

I'm too tired to curate my page to be decent for me

I'm so fucking tired

This site sucks ass

Reddit sucks ass

Tumblr sucks ass

The Internet fucking sucks

Google is constantly bitching at me to pay for more space in my account cause I habitually download every Tumblr and reddit image resulting in 13 gigabytes of bullshit

I fucking hate this

Anyway

I'll find better stuff to post tomorrow

Or not

I don't know

I'm so fucking tired

Kill myself

What the fuck do I do with my time now? Is there another site or app worth my time?

Tumblr's ass, I'll still use it but it's dogshit

I'm too tired to even do reddit anymore

Twitter is fucking disgusting and gets worse by the day because of dipshit mcmusk

And that's all that comes to mind

YouTube is constant background noise, but the algorithm there is fucked up too

I hate every video thats recommended to me

I'm not doing fucking tiktok

I don't care about my standards anywhere else, but no fucking tiktok

What else is there now?

Oh yeah, I can't comment on webtoon because I accidentally said fuck in a comment, so all the fun community stuff there is gone now too

All the webtoons suck ass anyway

The only fucking app that hasn't disappointed me is cookie clicker

Been playing it for like 400 days

I make continual progress

I just check in every two days to pop the wrinklers

Then after a month or two on a run I check in after a week

Until my legacy points start to plateau, then I reset

And get all the upgrades I can afford

Buy 5 grandmas, then 90 more, then as many more as I can afford that'd a multiple of 100

I do the same on everything else

Except the fractile engines, which I buy as many as possible, no matter the multiple

And buy all the items

Then at that point I start the research facilities, then start one, and check back in 30 minutes until I've researched them all

Then I top off the fractile engines and leave for a day

Then check every day, popping the wrinklers until a week in, then every 2 days. Then after a few months once every week

Then I do it all again

And spend all the legacy points on the upgrades I can afford

It's rewarding you know

Consistent anyway

Unlike reddit and Tumblr and Twitter and YouTube and everything else, it doesn't fuck me over on the algorithm whatever the fuck

Reddits decent for the porn, that's all

You know, I used to use a lot of sites for porn

Dozens and dozens of sites bookmarked

Then at some point I started to only use r34 reddit nhentai, and occasionally the good ol hub

I didn't use to have accounts, I'd depend on my memory for different images and accounts and artists and comics and shit

Then I made accounts on r34 phub reddit e6 gelb nhentai and half a dozen others

And started saving things

It used to be a fun game to try to remember

Now it's gone

But I'm too tired to continue that anyway

Anyway, same shit everything else as with the porn at this point

No variety

Nothing fun

It's all annoying bullshit

With the Advent of machine learning chat bot whatever the fucks, there's a little bit new

But aside from that, it's just the same thing every day

I'm so fucking tired of living like this duxe

The fucking internet used to mean something

Now it's just the boring status quo bullshit

And I know that it's because of me

But still

It fucking sucks

I don't want to do this shit

And I spend like 10 hours a day on the Internet too

More than ever

But I'm not happy

Barely entertained

But it kills time

If I need information, porn, music, videos, whatever elze

Entertainment

I get it

But I'm not happy about it

It's shitty

I feel like shit

Like, my life outside the internet is decent. But the Internet consumes so much of it, and I don't even like it anymore

I don't know if there's a fix

Or if I should just stop being so online and shit

I'm too tired to do anything anyway

I don't know

I take pride in what I achieve for some reason

But as soon as I get the imaginary goal point, I don't give a shit

Over a year I got a shit ton of reddit karma on a new accoutn

A specific number, that I won't say to keep myself from seeming like I'm trying to brag

But once I got it, I no longer cared to comment or post

Over 2 or 3 months, I don't remember, whenever 196 shut down, I got a relative shit ton of followers

Again, a specific number, but I won't say

I'll keep that number secret, cause I can

But once I got this imaginary amount that I thought I'd never reach, I didn't care anymore

I still posted as much as I did before

But I got no joy out of it

I just post, wait a few hours, then check to see how many notes

If it's an amount equal to what I think is average for the amount of followers I have, I feel kinda good, then post again

But that's it

I don't scroll anymore, except occasionally on my followers profiles when I accidentally click on them while looking through my new notes

And I enjoy that

But other than those fleeting moments, and the small satisfaction I get from high note counts I don't care

I don't care for Tumblr or anything else on this shit

I don't know man, is this how other people do stuff on the Internet?

I don't think so, people always have strong emotions on the Internet

I emulate my internet behavior to match, which makes me think that maybe more people do the same as me

But I have no evidence

I don't know, I'm too fucking tired of this shit

I just got an apathy about the Internet at this point

Apps, sites, everything

I just don't care

But I'm always on it

It makes no sense

I should probably proofread this post as I go

This is just a stream of consciousness at this point

I won't check it as I go

Maybe I'll make this a thing

Just typing my unfiltered thoughts for like 30 minutes then posting

Depends on the notes I get

If the notes are bad I'll just delete it and forget about it

Who knows

I guess I keep trying to do that

I'll do something new on Tumblr like this

And think "oh, maybe this'll be a new thing I do" then it dies

At first it was my consistent posting of reddit shit for like a year ago

Then I stopped posting that consistently

Then it was random screenshots of mine

I even made a tag for that one

Then it died

I keep thinking of myself as someone important because of my follower count

Which doesn't make sense as it's not even a lot

But still

I don't know

My delusions of microcelebrity status are the only thing keeping me on this site/app at this point

If I didn't have that, and the fuel for the delusion that is notes I'd be gone

I did already fuck my recommended tab

And following tab

And tag tab

It's already all bullshit

I guess I can keep my narcissism about my status in this site because of the top post by notes tab on a blog

I just click into someones

And 9 times out of ten, they don't have top note counts even comparable to time

Which fuels the delusion

It's the same thing I'd do on reddit

"oh this person only has [x] karma, when they've been on reddit for 3 years. And I have triple that, and I've had this account for 6 months. I'm better"

Shit like this is what makes the internet garbage

I don't let it bleed into the theme of my posts and comments tho

I let it make me feel superior than everyone else

But if I made that obvious in any post it'd be for naught

For that reason I'm considering not posting this anymore

Whatever, this post is already super long rambling bullshit

If it gets good notes a single anecdote in it won't matter

And if it doesn't get good notes I'll delete it

Then there's no harm

I just thought of that reasoning now to keep doing this post

Cause I got sunk cost fallacy on this at this point

It was a vent thing at the start

Now it's just me trying to think mildly interesting shit to add

I guess I can use that other reasoning to post anything

If it goes bad, delete it, and no one would have saw it, and no one will, so I matters naught

And if it goes good, who gives a shit

Nothing I post would be bad, maybe cringe, maybe rambling bullshit, as this js

But not bad, so it'd be fine

I lost my train of thought

I think I was gonna say something else about what I'm posting, and how it would be fine

That's gone now

Poof, into the abyss that is lost thoughts

This does kill time tho

It's been like 40 minutes since I started this

This is basically what I do in my mind if I just let my mind run, uninterrupted

But here it's written down, with line breaks, and exact words rather than a mix of words and images and concepts

So it's more digestible

I suppose it's not completely true to say this is my pure train of thought, not just because of the exclusion of images and concepts

But also because I'm listening to music

Just enough to mild my mind so to speak

My mind is always going man, and if I don't have something to dampen it

Like music, or weird fidgety things I do with my hands (I don't know the word), or exact things to focus on, I think way too much

And spiral and shit in stress

But then my thoughts are too frantic and fast to write down before they disappear, so in a way this is as pure a log of thoughts as anything could be

You can tell the theme of how I sound now, vs at the beginning

If you don't want to scroll up you can just look at the tags

I typed them near the beginning

And haven't added to them

Nor deleted them

So you can just look slightly down to see the notes

It's not even the right topic anymore. It's still on reddit

And Tumblr and internet shit

Oh yeah, speaking of

I've just said my Tumblr scrolling is bad without specifying

But to specify now, it's like scrolling through Twitter

Weird serious discourses

Arguments

Peculiar topics

Shit like that

You know, not the Tumblr I had before

And if I don't like scrolling through Twitter, why would I be here? And that's the bind I'm in now

I only stick around anymore because of the notes, as I said

I'm back to using punctuation occasionally

Not too much, but at least some commas

No periods though, they seem too intense for a stream of consciousness thinf

Question marks too, but that's about all

Oh yeah, stuff I was talking about before

Webtoon

I shit talked webtoon

It's not too bad

I just fucking hate slice of life shit, dumb "funny" shit, and worst of all romance

I fucking hate romance webtoons

I can't stomach them

And webtoon is constantly shoving exactly those down your throat

And when my tolerance is low to begin with, and I enter webtoon, and it throws a fucking popup in my face for a dogshit new romance thing, I damn near snap my phone in half

But it's not too bad

I just read the fantasy/action/thriller/horror/drama (ones without romance shit) ones

But I can't navigate the canvas section decent at all

By design obviously, canvas doesn't make webtoon money, the originals do

But I'm too tired to work against them

So I only read originals

But at least they post regularly

I read around 70 webtoons now

Which is to say, I read the new episodes of them when they come out

With such a large selection, I have like 4 webtoons minimum updating every day at 7:00 pm

8:00 when there's time change

But 7:00 most of the timr

It notifies you at 7:30 but they update at 7:00

Except for the goblin one, which updates at like 7:20 for some reason

And the daily pass ones, those update at 8:00 for some reason

But they notify you directly at 8:00 for those if I remember correctly

Even still

I remember roughly which days are best

Tuesdays have the most, like 15 updated at once

And ones I really like too

Fridays have a handful, and the one daily pass that I read as they come out week by week

Saturdays have like 4 I really care about, then like 5 I think are mediocre, but they kill time so Saturdays are good

Mondays are ok, but that's about it

Wednesdays are kinda ass, but they're decent

Thursdays used to be amazing, but after like 3 I really care about went on hiatus, Thursdays don't matter anymore

But having like 60 (because 5-10 are on hiatus at a time) new episodes a week, divied up across the week pretty well

Is nice

Now, I did accidentally say fuck in a comment, because there was a guy shipping children and saying sexual stuff about it, then there was a reply on it from another guy defending it. So I got mad, and typed a paragraph saying why that was fucked up

But I said fuck

So I can't comment anymore

I don't know, webtoons ok tho

I was just pissed off earlier

What else was there

Oh yeah reddit

I've actually been temp banned from Reddit (like my entire account) twice for using up too much server space on bullshit

There's this thing where you type u/profanitycounter [self] and it tells you how many times youve said certain swears in like the past 500 comments

So, for a joke, twice I've copy pasted "cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum...", The max amount of times you can in one comment (a few thousand, I can't remember), then do that in a comment chain with myself for like 150 comments in a row

And it takes me several hours, but it's funnt

But it resulted in a temp ban for 2 days

Then like 4 months later, a temp ban for a week

Cause I used too much space, or bandwidth or whatever the fuck doing that

Also I got banned from r/Barry for saying the last season was ass

And I got banned from r/notinteresting for a reason I don't fucking know

But aside from that, my accounts clean

With a shit ton of karma too

Oh yeah, I use the same username (or a derivative of it) for every porn site account I make.

If you can find it out somehow I'll give you the passwords to the accounts

I doubt anyone could, it's a different username than I use for anything else

But there's hints

If anyone cares I'll even give you a few more hints directly in a DM if you ask

Though I will be vague as fuck

Been doing this for over an hour now

I wasn't paying enough attention to when I started

I'm pretty sure I heard someone say that Tumblr has no character cap

Let's hope so

I'm too tired to continue this shit

I guess this ends it

Let me know if y'all want more bullshit like this

I, personally, always like an unfiltered look at someone mind

But that's me personally

Maybe my mind is bland and uninteresting

Who knows

I'll stick with what I said at the beginning tho

Less than 10 notes in 3 hours and this post going bye bye

I got a headache from this shit

I thought way more than I usually do

Now that I'm more chill, I don't hate tumblr

I fucked it up for me

But y'all are good

Tumblr's good

[katscki]

Everything You Needed

masterlist

wc: 1.08k

he’s always been there

cw: mentions of sex, cheating, hurt -> comfort

i’ll make a part 2 soon

“Lovely come on, you can't be upset at me for this.” Your former boyfriend now turned scumbag says trying to console you to avoid a scene.

This is not the place to be doing this, you know that, but how could you not react to such news, that your innocence was just too much for any man to bare. How could someone wait when there were other options, probably prettier, and much more compliant?

“Upset? How could I not be upset? You invite me here to what I think is going to be a nice little lunch date only to tell me that you slept with someone else?! Tell me please, why, just why would you ever think that I would be okay with this?” You speak in a low burning tone, tears brimming in your eyes.

“A man has needs, you probably gave it up to that best friend of yours anyways. I don’t understand why...” He continues but you can only space out, picking up bits and pieces of the bullshit he spews. Eyes focused on the table; brows furrowed as he just keeps. On. Going. Why should you have to sit her and listen to him continue to complain about lack of sex, like that’s the biggest issue in the world, like it was the biggest issue in your relationship. And so, you don’t, he’s still transfixed in trying to convey his point not noticing you stand at first. His attention is brought to you only when you push the chair so hard there's a prominent bang that comes with it.

He stops for a second looking up at you like he’s about to say more before you cut him off, “I hope you’re happy with yourself, fucking asshole.” His eyebrows raise at your defiance, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, unable to say anything witty in response.

The walk home was painful, every step reiterated his words once more, tears finally falling. You would die if you cried in front of that prick. As you finally make it to the safety of your home, you slam the door behind you and It's all too much, your heart feels as though it's been split in two, ripped in half by his hands. Sliding down the door putting your knees to your chest just trying to breathe properly.

Two hours. Two hours is how long you sat on the floor, just trying to figure out what was wrong with you and then it was what was wrong with him. But you want to forget or vent you’re not quite sure which, but you need someone. So, with a shaky hand you pull out to call him. Katsuki the solution to all your problems, your first love, and your best friend in the entire world.

It rings once, only once before he’s picked up, Katsuki never made you wait, Katsuki always answered when you needed him.

He was consistent.

“Sup.” He answers swiftly, slightly muffled as though the phone is on his shoulder. You hear the clanking of what seems like dishes, and that’s when the pit dives further into your stomach.

“M s-sorry to call, sounds like you're busy, I’ll just go-” Your voice cuts out, all wobbly and quiet. There's a small crash on the other end, his voice clearer now.

“What’s wrong sweets? M not busy at all, always got time for you.” He says softly.

Sweets. It's what he called you when it was just the two of you, at first it was sarcastic, but over the years turned more affectionate. Hearing the word made the dam break, wailing sobs and incoherent sentences that just came out as more cries sounded through the phone.

“M comin’ over.” Then the familiar beep plays signifying that he has hung up. You hug your phone to your chest, moving slightly away from the door. It only took 5 minutes before you heard a knock on the door.

He was reliable.

Standing up to open the door for him, your hand reached out to let in your comfort. Once it was a sliver of the way open, your hand fell in a way, allowing him to barge his way through and pull you in by the waist.

More tears. Your arms reach around his broad, muscular shoulders, clawing at his back as more cries sounded through the thin walls of your apartment.

“What happened, Sweets? What’s got you cryin’?” He pulls away to wipe your tears with the rough pads of his thumbs.

“H-he-” His eyes darkened dangerously at the mention of your shitty boyfriend.

He wanted to protect you, defend your honor.

“He what honey? Take your time.” Oh, he looks angry, tone sweet but carmine eyes fuming.

Your voice drops to a breaking whisper, “He slept with someone else. I wasn’t ready yet suki... I just wasn’t ready yet.” He pulls you in tighter, partly to comfort you, partly so you didn’t see the rage in his features.

“I knew that fucker was no good. Knew you were too perfect for him.” He rubs soothing circles down your back before he asks, “Why did you even date him anyways?”

You pause for a moment, thinking if you should say it, but your mouth beat your jumbled brain to the punch, “Because you didn’t l-love me back.” He pulls away once more, not saying a word, but just picking you up to sit you down on the couch, him kneeling in front of you.

He reaches his toned arm out to brush the stray hairs out of your eyes, hand running down to your chin where you nuzzle your head into it affectionately.

“Because I didn’t love you? Who says I don’t love you, pretty?”

He loved you.

“Who says I haven’t been kicking myself every day for letting that dipshit beat me to you? Where did you get that silly idea in that pretty little head of yours, huh baby?” His thumb slides across your bottom lip, dragging it down then letting it snap back into place.

“Who says I don’t think about kissing these pretty lips every time I see you?” You finally reach out for him, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him to you.

“So, kiss me.” And Katsuki does just that. Standing up slightly to get a better grip, lips slotting perfectly with your own, with enough built-up passion to make Romeo jealous.

He was everything you needed.

TAGS 🏷:

@trafalgar-lau @mybabekatsuki @loving-katsuki @ariavaana @melaniebakugo @keyz-writes @kuleo26 @sirensuki @theweasleysrule @asmaechan

[caprisunnydays]

Adventures of a not so average Voxtech employee : Chapter 1

Word count : 1.7k

Life in hell wasn’t THAT bad. Well, it was still hell, but you’d come to appreciate the afterlife you’d made for yourself. Considering the unfortunate circumstance, you were able to find comfort in the twisted familiarity. It felt like being trapped in a tidepool, where the ebb and flow of the water brought fleeting moments of relief from the frigid depths. Yet, in this hellish existence, there was no escape from the relentless cycle. At times you weren’t drowning in the anguish of your existence, but just like the ocean's chill, you felt a constant, dull pain. But things had been worse before you got this “job”.

You had no purpose for quite some time. Running around in search of suitable shelter each night, scavenging for food, and busting your ass to avoid bigger, more powerful demons was no way to live. Even now, you were new to hell. It had only been about a year since you died and fell into this horrid place, and for a few months, you were scrambling for a scrap of stability. Then in a turn of luck, you landed a job as a janitor in a Vox tech store, then worked your way up the totem pole (which wasn’t too hard when the boss of that store fired and killed people left and right if they looked at her funny) to where you sat today. 

A cubicle in Voxtech’s news script writing department for!

MUCH better than when you had no job and no place to sleep! Now it was just a 5-minute walk to the Voxtech building from your apartment every morning, work until you’re done, and hopefully get back home before 3 am! You weren’t so lucky this time, but you had accidentally fallen asleep on your 30-minute lunch break and turned it into an hour and a half, so maybe the overtime was karma. 

You sat hunched in your chair, a fluffy blanket from home wrapped around your shoulders, and the taste of cold coffee was on your tongue as you typed corrections on the last of your assignments. When you discounted the burn of the blue light in your eyes, you entered a meditative state that combined focus and dissociation into the killer combo known as your “work mode”. It got you through the days, nights, and mornings you spent doing overtime with no extra pay. Your eyes wandered to the clock in the corner of your screen.

3:15 am

Eh, not as bad as it could be.

Even once you finish this, you’ll probably end up sleeping in your makeshift office bed, which consists of your blanket and a flat-ass pillow being shoved under your desk so you don’t have to deal with going home just to come back in 3 hours. You stretch, pushing your rollie chair away from the desk and groaning at your stiff joints. You stood up and looked over the rows of dividers to see empty cubicles. This was probably the first time in forever that you had been the only one in the office, even at this late hour. The glowing of your singular computer screen and the hum of the AC bordered something you’d see on a Lofi study video, bringing a sense of comfortable isolation to your dead heart. That was until you heard the clicking of shoes against the office floor and doors being slammed.

“Mother FUCKING useless pieces of shit! The one day they say they can come in for maintenance checks and their sorry asses flake AGAIN?! I swear to Satan I’m sending someone to burn down that company for making ME do this bullshit myself because like hell am I gonna deal with shit in my company not working and costing me money-”

 You froze at the aggressive rambling as it approached your station. You slowly sat back down and turned off your computer, sitting silently. Your fingertips brushed the handle of your bat, which you kept under your desk for cases like this. In case one of those nut jobs with much less sanity than you decided to throw themselves in the building and go on a rampage. You gingerly picked the weapon up as the angry ranting got closer. The footsteps crescendoed until a figure was nearing the opening of your cubicle, and you shot up, bat drawn back ready to swing.

The TV demon screamed, jumping back in a laughably cartoonish way, arms over his face and one leg off the ground. His screen buffered, his scream lagging while a code ‘HOLY SHIT’ flashed across his screen.

“AH SHIT! What the fuck are you doing here?” You stood there in the dark for a beat, before putting the bat under your desk and turning your computer back on.

“Work.” You yawn and sit back down. You accessed the man, your brain slowly catching up to reality despite its drowsy fog. 

TV demon…loud…angry…oh shit this is my boss.

In your entire time working for this man, you seldom saw him in the flesh…or, circuits rather. That made sense, he’s VOX. Owner of Voxtech, one of the most powerful overlords in hell, and from what you could tell, a workaholic. He built this empire that you only played a minuscule part in. It was something to marvel at, if you thought about it deeply enough, but you also knew he had a habit of slaughtering anybody disrupting the machine he kept so well-oiled. Maybe that’s why the manager of your department was such an asshole all the time, but you’re sure that she was born to play the role of a narcissistic, cold-hearted bitch. All that aside, you didn’t want to set off the big man who controlled your life standing right next to you, so you just sat in your chair, awkwardly waiting to be spoken to again.

“And your “work” has you sitting in the dark with a bat like a lunatic?” He groaned and rubbed his face. “I mean seriously, I’m surprised you’re still here when I specifically told everyone to get their asses out of this office before 3am.” You squinted in confusion. You were never usually told to leave by a certain time. Everyone above you 

ALWAYS wanted you and the other corporate slaves working around the clock to keep making money. You quickly opened your email.

Nothing about that in there.

Maybe they had an announcement that you just didn’t hear? But you’d been working your ass off the whole day and didn’t-

They had a meeting while I was asleep on my lunch break and NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT IT?! These people really are fake as hell.

You knew not getting screamed at and almost killed by your boss for your unprompted nap was strange. She must have just let it slip so you’d have to deal with someone much worse. Vox was looking down at you with a furrowed brow and tapping foot. You considered your options, and the most rational thing you could think of was just to try and slowly extract yourself from the office. You grabbed your phone and turned off your computer, keeping your gaze down as you attempted to creep away.

“I am looking right at you, stop trying to sneak away as if I can’t see you.”

Well, there goes that plan.

Halting your movements, you began mentally preparing to be maimed. After all, it wouldn't be the first time that happened to you in this office. Your manager handed out physical punishments like candy, and while she had never killed you and forced you to respawn, you had been given horrific injuries countless times. You turned back to Vox, studying his form in the low lighting. He didn’t look THAT mad, more like he was contemplating something. His scrunched expression morphed into a charming smile, the one he’s known for. Was he about to use his eye on you?

“I could use your help with this inspection I’ve gotta do. You know this place best after all.” It was not a question, and since you were just preparing for a second death, you’d take this option with no complaints. You gave him a nod and he clasped his hands together, before grabbing one of your shoulders. “Greaaaat,” His smile dropped, “Let's get this shit done with.”

You proceeded to show him around the office, stopping at places that could be hazardous and require maintenance. The lights, electricity, and everything else that made this unit function was in order. You were only checking the places that made this place run smoothly, but that was to be expected. You ended off your maintenance tour by turning on every single computer to make sure they were functioning. You had only gotten through three when suddenly the office exploded with white light. Vox shot you a cocky smirk.

“It’s much faster that way,” He held out his hand, blue claws sparking as tiny bolts of electricity danced between his fingers, “but your manual technique was cute enough.” He stomped and let electricity surge through the floor again to shut off all the computers. Then he scoffed and pulled out his phone, texting someone aggressively. “Thank god that’s over with. I’m out, you should be too.” He pocketed his phone and began striding out the door. “Oh, and thanks for the help or whatever.” 

Just like that, he was gone. A breath of anxiety pushed out of your lungs, one you weren’t even aware of until the pressure of Vox’s presence was lifted. You had expected much worse. After all, the consensus among you and your peers was that he was a massive prick. But at least he didn’t grab you by the horns and throw you around till they cracked like your manager.

“…mission successful.” As you mutter under your breath some passive-aggressive comments you'd like to say to your colleagues, you gathered your belongings to head back to your apartment. Nearly stumbling over your improvised bed, you briefly consider just crashing there for the night. Mentally though, you’re so far gone that you might end up doing yourself even more of a disservice by staying. “Fuck it, I’m going home.” You chug the rest of your watered-down coffee and throw the mug in the office kitchen sink. 

As you stepped out into the vibrant streets of the entertainment district, you savored the moment when you closed the back door to the Vees' headquarters. There’s nothing like the sound of the lock clicking when you turn your work key in the knob and head off for the night.

I'm gonna make multiple chapters and post em on Ao3 whenever I get around to working on it. Will post the link here!

[catchyhuh]

WHO WOULD BE BEST TO GO ON A 6 HOUR CAR TRIP WITH!!

THE ANSWER? IT’S COMPLICATED! car trips are such a delicate science that when i did this ranking in my head it fell apart almost immediately so instead i will present the information and YOU, yes YOU get to decide who you’d be able to put up with and who you’d murder before you even reached the highway

suggested reading for you: unbearable habits. keep this in mind as you go and venture safely 

lupin:

well. it wouldn’t be boring at least. he can make conversation out of almost anything. you pass a weird tree and ten minutes later he’s going on about how one time he had to learn about some tree info to get this rare sap thing (fujiko said she heard it tasted yummy-- it didn’t btw it sucked but he just had to see y’know) and he found out that there’s like thirty types of maple trees, one of which is actually invasive in north america, which is weird because it feels like north america is the area that’s the BIGGEST on tree tapping so why would it be a problem if they had so many norway maples-- hey are you listening to m

actually not that bothered if he’s not the one driving. might poke at you about things like “obeying the speed limit” and such but he’s perfectly content to kick back. uh oh, did that lull you into a false sense of security? don’t sigh in relief yet, you have mr. passenger princess as your copilot. fucks with the radio, the ac, constantly adjusting his seat, messing with windows, all to HIS comfort level. after all, you’re only the person driving.

insists on stopping at a convenience store. if you try some fast food drivethru bullshit he’s gonna be like “what schedule are we on! why are you in such a rush? fucking-- live a little, man. there’s a sheetz here”

jumping off that last bit the payment method AT the store will change entirely depending on what type of comment you make to him beforehand. if you say “in what world is it worth it to steal a 5 dollar slushie” he’s stealing. if you say “in what world is a slushy worth 5 fucking dollars” he will be paying in full with his own money. guarantee

jigen:

reclines his seat WAY far back. like crushing the person behind him’s legs, far back. like, would probably be a safety hazard even if he was in the car by HIMSELF far back. the reason airplanes have a locking mechanism to stop you from turning the seat into a twin bed far back.

not a horrible conversationalist but it will entirely rely on how much he “likes” (read: is kinda okay with) you and his mood. he won’t push you to talk, but if you want to talk and he DOESN’T, you are getting the driest answers. however if you are anything like me and only need minimal engagement to take as a sign to keep talking endlessly, he will whittle down to the point where he starts TALK talking to you a bit more.

can easily keep himself occupied regardless of mood. just grabs a crossword or some shit. miraculously doesn’t get a headache, but if you even make one remark about the fact that reading in the car gives people headaches, he’ll INSTANTLY remind you nothing could make his head hurt more than his current company. even if he doesn’t mind your company! it’s a reflex.

if you don’t let him drive he’s going to be a bitch. i promise. if you don’t let him drive he will grumble about every little thing so you know what. just make peace with it and hand over the wheel. pop it off the little stick thing and hand it right over to ol’ smoky. at the very least he’ll shave off a half hour from the ETA, somehow. it’s jarring because he doesn’t actually seem to be going faster but surprise! we’ve reached our destination.

goemon:

well. if you were stressing over lupin never shutting up i have good news for you. it doesn’t matter who his company is, he’s just consistently a man of very few words, unless you get him off on some specific thing he’s passionate about (which is very, very niche, and will be harder to trigger than you’d anticipate), but hey, he’s okay with that. unfortunately if silence is torture for you i have equally bad news,

honestly cannot understate how likely it is you’ll forget he’s in the back if you’re both silent for more than a mile stretch of road. he doesn’t shift around a lot. when you first get in he might take about 5 or so minutes to really get comfy but he prefers the back seat. every time goemon has had a choice, he goes right for the back. more legroom. so, yeah, very easy to forget he’s present

going to act like he can keep himself entertained just tuning out his surroundings and meditating but that’s just. not true. he’s going to last an impressive amount of time, maybe three and a half hours? but he is ultimately human and when you have to make that first gas station stop the gross ass smell of gasoline is going to knock him RIGHT out of it. 

really the only way you’re pulling any significant interaction out of this is if someone ELSE is manning the car and you can either turn completely around to interact with him or if you’re both sitting side by side. mostly the latter, as he’ll be less tempted to kind of emotionally shut you out if you’re right beside each other. just don’t expect him to move to give you much more space to yourself lmao

fujiko:

unique problem where you might EXPECT her to be somewhat talkative (like a reasonable amount) but no. she’s not talking to you. she’s not even ignoring you with headphones or anything she’s just content in her own world. unless of course you made one comment that just barely slightly annoyed her, in which case she pulls out the biggest, shiniest, most obnoxious headphones and tunes you out entirely. tread carefully

if you get hungry you’re eating at a SIT DOWN DINE-IN MEAL. NO fast food NO convenience store and ESPECIALLY no 3 dollar mini dorito bags, not on miss mine’s watch. don’t even fucking pretend it’s an option. but of course, this adds like an hour to your drive time, so… half and half. you Will be dining and dashing

probably has some kind of car trip kit. firstly, the fact she’s actually taking a CAR trip must mean you need to be afraid of something, because that’s gotta be her last resort. she could fly, take a train, fucking fly a helicopter herself, fly ANYTHING herself she’s UNSTOPPABLE and she wants to kick her feet on the dash for a fourth of a very valuable day?? but beyond that. has a nice pillow (NOT a neck pillow. hurts her neck. just a real full pillow. she doesn’t nap anyway idk why she’s got that) some kinda heating thingy to keep her back from getting sore in that uncomfy seat, large cup with a delicious bev of choice, just anything you could imagine being convenient. oh my god remember the tiddy bear? google tiddy bear. she’s got one of those

very creative when it comes to filling up time without getting VERY silly. now, make no mistake, if you’re both exhausted enough multiple hours in, she MIGHT be ok playing some car color counting game (especially if the winner gets 20 bucks) but usually she’s gonna just come up with some shit like “everytime you complain about x i’m going to cut this blank check into confetti and when the ride is over i’m dumping it on you.” isn’t she such a catch!

zenigata:

well. it definitely won’t be the same moment to moment. either you’re about to be miserable for multiple hours or somehow accidentally unlock the most bizarre yet interesting information about him. no inbetween. maybe even both!

probably the only one who has even a tiny chance of falling asleep, and even then that’s gotta be a hiiiighly specific setup. most possible if you just shut up for long enough and then he’ll kinda doze, but don’t bring UP the fact that you’re trying to get him to chill the fuck out and nap for a bit, don’t even joke about it, because then if you try to employ the long period of silence he’ll just go “... wait a minute I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING” and it’ll be a whole thing

the most adamant about getting the damn thing over with. he’s not going to be a BITCH about it per se, but he IS going to be like “no no not that gas station look at that line. if we just wait till the next one it’ll save us like 15 minutes” and you look at the gas mileage and go “uh” and he goes “no we can make it. trust me.” and cut to 30 minutes later you’re both trying to push the truck to the closest pump which is STILL a good 700 feet away. save time my ass. because of this insistence he will be the one that takes the LONGEST to get from point a to point b, just because he WANTS to be the fastest and god is cruel

goes through like fifty highs and lows throughout unrelated to anything. traffic, the weather, fuck man the ac could be busted, and he’ll be fine, but then 20 minutes later he’s snippy about EVERYTHING. you are microdosing having him as a roommate. stay sane to the best of your ability because god knows he won’t

they ALL get bitchy about music, god help you if you try to fuck with the music