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cruesuffix · 1 month ago

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this was something that came to my head just a little before I went to bed so it might not be the most coherent thing. still…i post what i want so here’s that sweet cringe for whoever wants it. (side note: i kind of based this off of what happened to my pal ****** you know that one kpop idol? yeah…i guess this is sort of a crossover?? oh well, i’ll stop yapping now!)

At first it was just a slight discomfort. A twisting of his stomach that started in the middle of a gig. The band was nearing the end of a year spent recording an album and beginning the tour cycle. Christmas was in a couple of days and they would be getting a nice break for the holidays. The show went on, with Mick becoming more and more aware of the pain in his stomach. He wondered if he had eaten something bad the day before and he just happened to feel the effects of it while on stage. What terrible timing.

He forced himself to focus on his playing, reminding himself he could always rush to the bathroom after their set. He kept his head down, not wanting to look at Nikki or Vince and have them see how much pain he was in. As soon as the last note is played and bows have been taken, he rushed off stage in search of the first bathroom he can find. The pain is dull, and it throbbed throughout his abdomen. No matter how hard he pushed, nothing came out. He exited the bathroom feeling slightly uncomfortable and confused, but ultimately decided he was just a bit crampy.

That’s just how he was sometimes. Certain muscles got sore, felt achy, then went away. He caught up to the rest of the band who were heading towards the tour bus. They were supposed to head back to the hotel, pack their things and sleep so they could head to the airport early the next morning. He laid on one of the little couches in the tour bus, still feeling like absolute sht. Whenever someone tried to come up to him, sensing something was up, he bared his teeth at them and glared. He didn’t want to talk to anyone at that moment.

All he could think about was going back to his hotel room and going to sleep. He never unpacked any of his suitcases so he didn’t even have to worry about running around and cleaning up. He didn’t notice the rest of the guys have been looking at him. They weren’t surprised by his typical anti social behaviour, but they were surprised he never kicked up his feet and downed a beer like he usually did after a show. In fact, he looked incredibly uncomfortable, lying there on the couch almost in the fetal position. They didn’t know he even was able to fold himself into such position. They’d never seen him in such a way before.

When they finally arrived to their destination, they all piled out of the bus. Mick was the last one off and he couldn’t help but nearly drag himself out the bus. He was both tired and in pain so he took his time getting off and walking back to his room. Like always, his room was next to Nikki’s. He hoped Nikki didn’t go crazy and make too much noise like he usually did. He’d was actually dying to sleep that night and rid himself of whatever sickness he’d caught this time. All he could do when he got inside his room was flop on the bed and promptly close his eyes. He’s out like a light, still in leather pants and a t-shirt, leather jacket having been discarded as soon as he walked in.

The next morning, Mick felt himself being shaken awake. He cracked an eye open. If it was even possible, he felt worse than he did yesterday. The light in the room seemed so bright, he could barely open his eyes. A voice rang out, he could barely make out the words.

“…an’t you’re burning up, man!” The voice exclaimed. He squinted his eyes a bit just to figure out who the voice belonged to. He could barely focus, the only thing on his mind was how much pain he was in. His body felt like it was on fire, his insides feeling like they were being cooked. He wheezed out a breath and immediately felt nauseous. He could faintly hear footsteps rushing into the room, and someone replaced the person who was in front of him.

“…an you hear me? Hey, Mick are you ok?” Someone asked. He tried to nod his head, but just the sheer movement made him groan. His head was swimming and it was hard to focus on something. Someone dipped their head right into his face and he was forced to look at the person. As he focused on the features, he suddenly had a name for the person in front of him. Doc, their manager. He sighed in relief. Doc repeated his question and this time Mick shook his head.

“I-ugh, think I’m coming down with something.” He managed to tell him. Someone in the background shook their head.

“He’s burning up dude, he looks out of it. I don’t know what it could be, maybe an overdose?” The voice, Tommy’s, replied. Mick frowned. As if he’d do something stupid like that. No, he hadn’t taken any drugs the day before…at least not that he could remember. Besides, drugs were a Tommy and Nikki sort of deal, they usually weren’t Mick’s go to boredom buster.

“No, it’s my stomach. It- It was hurting real bad yesterday. I think I’ve got food poisoning or something.” He countered. He tried to bite down another groan as another harsh cramp hit his stomach.

Doc looked at him, just concerned at the image of the usually tough guitarist bent down and grasping onto his abdomen. He looked back to see Nikki peering into the room. Great, now they had an audience.

“Maybe we should get a doctor to check him out.” Nikki commented. Doc nodded, going to phone a medic. Nikki walked into the room and sat down next to Mick. The movement jostled the sick man, who finally allowed a small groan to escape. Nikki instinctively wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He pulled him closer, and was amazed at the fact that he hadn’t had an eye clawed out.

“What could you even eat to give you food poisoning? We’re in Florida not Japan!” Nikki lightly joked.

Mick didn’t answer him though. His eyes fluttered open and closed. He was sure he was either going to pass out or vomit all over Nikki. He was hoping for the former, he wasn’t sure he’d be forgiven if he puked all over his bassist. If he had been in better condition, he wouldn’t have slumped onto his bassist, head falling onto his shoulder. Nikki moved his arm from his shoulder to his waist, practically propping him up as they waited. When Doc came back, he brought a medic with him. The medic checked Mick out, while Nikki kept a firm hold on him. There wasn’t much the medic could do. He was sure Mick had come down with some kind of pneumonia, or even an infection. All he could do was turn to Doc and say something about a hospital. Nikki’s stomach sank. He had been hoping it was nothing too serious. Maybe a stomach bug that would go away on its own, or even an unserious case of food poisoning. Hearing the words pneumonia and infection put together in a sentence had him infinitely worried.

Doc motioned for the both of them to get up, but when Mick tried to, he could only groan and fold inwards. He clutched his stomach, whimpering at how fast the pain had gotten worse. Nikki took charge and tried picking the older man up, who could only clench his jaw to stop from screaming. Nikki immediately stopped and decided to turn around and let him climb onto his back. This seemed to work and, with Tommy in tow, he carried Mick with him. They followed Doc and the medic as they rushed to his car. Tommy shared a nervous look with Nikki the whole way round. They were both really hoping they wouldn’t have to lost their guitarist right when they hit their stride.

The whole car ride was tense. Nikki couldn’t stop shaking his leg and Tommy nervously conversed with Doc, who couldn’t deny him a simple distraction. Nikki found he couldn’t take his hands off the older man. Mick kept his eyes closed the whole ride, barely acknowledging Nikki’s nudges and questions. He simply melted into the touch, something he never once allowed himself to. Nikki’s surprised by this. It’s like finally taming a cat that’s hated you the whole time. He doesn’t even know if he should be afforded such luxury. Still, he does his best to soothe him, petting his soft black hair and telling him he’ll be ok. He wasn’t even sure he believed that, but he wasn’t going to say anything.

Mick didn’t remember anything of that car ride. He didn’t remember being pet or held by Nikki. He did remember a sort of warmth spreading all over him. He did remember a sort of safe feeling. He remembered not feeling worried about his situation for some reason, just as much as he remembered the pain he felt during that day. He just didn’t remember Nikki holding him. And he sure didn’t remember much about the next minutes; being carried into the hospital, a lot of yelling and screaming, puking right on Nikki, who could only try his hardest to calm him down. The most jarring of it all, which he definitely blocked out of his memory: he was crying the entire time. He’s never cried in his adult life, not once. Not when his kids were taken away from him, not when he went to jail for unpaid child support, not even when Vince got into his car accident and no one knew if he was alive or not. No, nothing got past the impenetrable Mick Mars. Yet, as Nikki stood, holding him in his arms, he was sobbing. The pain must have been pretty bad for him to do that. Of course, he wouldn’t remember any of that.

Nikki and Tommy, however, knew everything. They knew that their guitarist had appendicitis and needed surgery on his appendix immediately. Tommy paled as soon as he heard that and Nikki had to sit down. It was a necessary procedure and they were lucky they had caught it on time. Nikki could only blow out a nervous breath and Tommy needed air fast. Doc made sure they got the room immediately and Nikki rushed after him, still carrying the semi conscious man in his arms. Tommy stayed back, still pacing back and forth.

After depositing Mick onto the bed, Nikki was ushered out of the room and had no choice but to hang back out in the waiting room. Tommy was still there pacing. Nikki smiled softly and walked up to him.

“Why don’t you go out and have a smoke or something…take the edge off your nerves.” He suggested. Tommy paused. He looked hesitant. Nikki knew he didn’t want to leave, in case anything went down. He reached over and put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him in his place.

“Seriously, it’s ok. You can’t stay here and just pace, you’re making everyone else nervous.” He lightly joked. Tommy sighed and gave him a sad smile.

With a nod, he walked out of the room, reaching into his pocket as he did so. Nikki chuckled slightly and sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs. They really needed to get comfier chairs. He squirmed around, half trying to get comfortable, half trying to calm himself down. He was fine, they’d take care of him. He got why Tommy had to pace around. The suspense would kill anyone else. His foot tapped a million times per second.

He was never a smoker, thinking it a worse habit than the drugs he did, but it was moments like these where he wished he had picked it up. Anyone else would have just left. Vince was probably already back in California by now. Nikki himself was surprised he stayed. He probably would have been back in sunny California with a needle in his arm by now, as harsh as it was to think that way. Fear overtook him. Maybe that was why he was still here. For all his trash talk and evil ways, he cared so much about that man. He never thought he could do that, care.

Mick was so nice, so caring towards them all, even when he wanted nothing more than for them to all go away and leave him alone. He put up with so much, and they constantly took advantage of that kindness. It paid Nikki nothing to simply be there for him. The fact that if they had left Mick to his own devices, he wouldn’t have survived it, was a shock alone. That was the last thing the band needed right now. Nikki looked around the room. There weren’t much people here. Seemed like mornings were pretty chill until afternoons hit. That’s when the real drama started. A glance at the hall signals the return of Tommy, this time bringing Doc along. The two of them carried coffees in their hands and Tommy hands one out to Nikki. He takes a grateful sip from his cup. He’s looking expectantly at Doc, who simply shrugged.

“I just got back from the cafeteria…Tommy decided that would be a great place to smoke in the building full of sick people.” He griped. Tommy blushed slightly.

“I wasn’t thinking, alright, I got that! I just…I didn’t want to leave and miss anything.” He admitted, looking down.

Tommy could be real pathetic at times. Nikki could only smile at his downtrodden face. He looked like a kicked puppy, but Nikki knew he was only trying to get sympathy points from Doc. It worked too, their manager could only sigh and pat him on the shoulder.

“Next time…just go outside. We don’t need the hassle of trying to bail you out from the nurses. They’re pretty strict here too, it’s a really good hospital.” Doc replied, looking at Nikki while saying the last part. That was his way of consoling him. Reminding him that Mick was in good hands. Nikki can only nod and sigh. He sits back in his chair, running a hand through his hair.

“You know, if we had taken him seriously yesterday it probably wouldn’t have been as serious as it is now.” He commented. Tommy coughs. Doc looked away. Nikki stares at them, willing them to say something.

“Well it’s true! Hell, if we didn’t do something today he would have been…” he trailed off, not wanting to say the last part out loud. Tommy puts his head in his hands and Doc breathes out a heavy sigh.

“Listen, we got to him when we did and now they’re solving the problem. There’s no what ifs in this situation, we did exactly what we should have. We don’t have time to play the ‘we should have done this we should have done that’ game. All we can do is pray he gets better fast.” He shut down any other attempt at blaming themselves, before grabbing a newspaper from one of the tables and pretending to read it.

Tommy sits down beside Nikki and wraps a spindly arm around his shoulder.

“There’s no reason to blame yourself Sixx. We still got to him in time, which is better than not at all. He’s going to get better and we’ll all laugh about this in the near future.” Tommy tried to comfort him. Nikki could just shrug and nod.

“Better than not at all…yeah, I guess.”

It took another two hours for anything to be said to them. A nurse finally walks up to them, making Nikki jump to his feet and the resulting action forcing Doc to jolt awake. The nurse reassured them that everything was fine, and that the surgery went well. Mick was obviously going to be asleep for a while, so they would have to come back the next day to see him. As the nurse leaves, Nikki finds his anxiety dwindling to just small background noise. He looked towards Doc, who stares at him blankly.

“So…are you going back to California now?” He asked Nikki, who stares at him like he had three eyes on his face.

“Uhhh, no? I’m staying here.”

“And where are you going to stay? We checked out of the hotel like…three hours ago?”

Nikki paused. He hadn’t thought that far…and he had two whole hours to do so. Tommy stood beside them awkwardly. Tommy wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay either. But if he wanted to go, who was going to bring him back to California?

“I’ll stay in a motel close by if I have to, I just don’t want to leave him here by himself. He won’t know what’s going on and I want to be there so he has a familiar face.” Nikki begged.

He didn’t feel comfortable just letting his friend stay somewhere he was unfamiliar with by himself. If it had been him, Nikki would have wanted someone there with him. He’s sure it would have been Tommy, he never went anywhere without his terror twin. Doc could only sigh as he turned to Tommy.

“So what are we going to do with you?” He asked. Tommy shrugged.

“I could try to navigate the airport by myself?” He answered, his answer sounding more like a question with how unsure he was. Doc shook his head.

“I absolutely do not trust any of you to get on a plane by yourselves. Let me get Nikki situated in his stupid motel and then I’ll drive you to the airport and see you off on the plane. Then I’ll come back and take care of Nikki and Mick until they’re ready to come back to California. Does that sound good to everyone?”

Both Nikki and Tommy nodded at this and Doc stood up.

“Good, now let’s go look for some motels around us.”

It didn’t take them long to find the cheapest (but not the dingiest) motel close to the hospital. With Nikki in his room, unpacking for the week ahead, Tommy and Doc shuttled back off to the airport (not without Doc reminding them of how much he did for them and how they shouldn’t take him for granted…Nikki can’t remember everything seeing as though he tuned him out halfway through his speech). Alone, Nikki felt calmer. The atmosphere of the hospital was overwhelming, even though there was practically no one there. He wondered if Mick was comfortable. Was the bed nice enough for his back? Was he laying down flat, or nicely propped up like he always slept.

Then he wondered why he was thinking about the old man so much. He almost never thought about him like this on a daily basis. Was it normal to think about your bandmates? Then again, Nikki wasn’t really thinking about anyone but himself these days. And that only made him feel worse. Maybe he was just selfish for not thinking about them. All his friends, his family…his mom. No, he didn’t have to think about her. But, he never thought about his friends. Not even the guys he helped form the band that had made him a damn near millionaire. He could call them every once in a while…even if it was just to catch up. He never did that though, but then again…neither did they. They used to be close though. They used to call. They used to hang out. Hell, they used to live together.

He paused, throwing the shirt he’d just taken out of his suitcase back onto the bed. He was spiralling, he knew that. He was once again stuck in that old thinking pattern he had tried to drown out with alcohol and drugs. He had no dope on him and he wasn’t even sure where the nearest liquor store was. He couldn’t afford to spiral. He tried calming down his breathing. He took long measured breaths and tried to tune out the brain radio going on in his head.

No, he wasn’t evil for not catching up with his friends. No, he wasn’t evil for not noticing any signs of trouble with Mick. No, he wasn’t evil for not wanting anything to do with his toxic family. He was fine. Mick was fine. Everyone was fine. There was no reason to want to run back to the hospital and hold onto Mick like he could possibly break into a million pieces, because he wasn’t going to. He was fine. There’s no reason to even want to hear his voice, because Mick was asleep and Nikki wasn’t going to try to wake him up when he just got out of an invasive surgery.

Ok. There was something there. Something Nikki was trying to hide from himself. There was no reason he should’ve been feeling fond of that garbage gremlin. Mick was nasty, said weird things and did even weirder stuff. He was stubborn, almost always trying to influence Nikki to go his way instead of just sticking to the script. Sure, he wrote a lot a great riffs, and maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t always listen to Nikki. It was still infuriating at times. They didn’t always get along, and there was a reason they stopped sharing a hotel room since the year before. But…there was something, a weird pervasive feeling there.

All he could do was sleep about it. Maybe there was something there, Nikki was willing to pretend it didn’t exist. Even if he did acknowledge it, nothing was going to come from this. Mick wasn’t like that. He had a girlfriend who he really cared for. One that was probably wondering why he hadn’t come home yet.

The next morning, Nikki woke up extra early. Doc was waiting for him at his door, looking more tired than usual. Nikki gave him a sheepish smile and tried to apologize for the day before. Doc just waved him off.

“I would have had to stay behind either way. I’m not leaving any of you alone for more than ten minutes…that goes for means mr. regular too.”

It doesn’t take long for both Nikki and Doc to get through to Mick’s room. He’s already up and looking rather tired. Nikki’s the first to burst into the room, nearly scaring the hell out of his guitarist.

“Mars, man! How are ya?” Nikki exclaimed, rushing over to uncharacteristically give Mick a hug. Mick was so tired he let Nikki hug him, not even letting out his usual grumble about the overt affection. He just let himself be hugged, wrapping a weak arm around Nikki’s back.

“I’ve seen better days.” Was Mick’s usual sarcastic reply. He nodded at Doc who patted his shoulder lightly. Nikki sat at the edge of the bed, for some reason.

“Dude, we thought you were going to OW-“

Nikki’s interrupted by Doc’s elbow hitting him in the stomach.

“It’s good to see you’re alright Mick, you gave us quite the scare yesterday.” Doc in turn remarked, a much more polite version of Nikki’s crass statement.

“Yeah…I’m sorry about that. I kinda just thought I had food poisoning or something. I don’t even remember the ride here, think I just passed out.”

“Yeah, it was gnarly! You can’t imagine how relieved we are that you made it.” Nikki finally put his two cents in. Mick nodded.

“Tommy and Vince went back to California though, didn’t they?” He asked. Doc grimaced, but nodded.

“But Tommy was there with us when we brought you to the hospital! In fact, he was the one that found you.” Nikki countered. He didn’t want it to seem like they were all heartless. Even still, Vince probably didn’t even know what happened…and most likely wouldn’t care. Nikki tried not to think about that. They couldn’t possibly care that little about each other.

“Yeah…I think I remember that. How’d he get a key to my room either way?”

“We were running late so I gave Tommy a spare key to wake you up…thinking back, I should have known something was wrong. You’re never late.”

Mick shrugged and the room falls silent. They didn’t need to unpack all of that right at that moment. Mick found himself nuzzling up closer to Nikki. He didn’t know why, but he needed the comfort. Of course, when this was over and he went back home, he’ll pretend he never did this. He’ll pretend this never happened, him getting so close to Nikki. He’ll pretend he was strong and didn’t need the comfort. That things like this just happen and he took it in stride. No one needed to know how weak he was being. Nikki didn’t care, of course. He just stroked his hair and let him get as close as possible. He wasn’t even scared to get that close to him, no longer feeling intimidated by the older man. It wasn’t like how it was back in ‘83 anymore. They’re both content to pretend they aren’t doing what they are. Mick wasn’t struggling to stay awake because he was being lulled back to sleep by Nikki’s soft, calming touch. And Nikki sure wasn’t the happiest he’d ever been having full access to Mick without the biting and scratching and screaming. None of them acknowledged it, so it wasn’t happening. Simple as that.

i have more in the can but that’s like a fully fledged fic that I still haven’t worked out yet. but either way, this is what i have take it or leave it. sure, it might seem disjointed and a bit incomprehensible but…oh well.

i was serious though, it happened to my friend ******

#crue fanfics #nikkimick(??)#like thanks ****** for your contribution to the crue whump fic i just made #literally just wrote the ending cause my actual fic was going over runtime and i had to pretty much cut it in half #it probably sounds all terrible but you can blame the girl i was at 11pm for that #also maybe i’m not good at whump #i’ll figure that out after the trial run #also im terrible at tenses so sorry about whatever confusion this fic may bring you #ok…that’s all. enjoy…if you do at least

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