#hairbrained scheme

[builder051]

NaNo 2024 day 8: A hairbrained scheme

Avengers Infinity Saga canon/missing moment

Right before they put the time through the Scott

Humor without plot

————————

Bruce sits behind the control panel in his lab. Scott’s van is backed into place in front of him, and many wires and cords run from its trunk to his computer.

That’s not his focus at the moment, though. A video chat window dominates his screen.

“You sure you don’t want to come?” Bruce implores.

“Nope.” Tony replies succinctly. “I already told you. And I haven’t changed my mind.”

“It’s still not too late. We can delay launch until you get here,” Bruce offers. “Come on. The team’s back. We need you to help save the world.”

“I need to be in the backyard,” Tony says. “Got to blaze the fire pit. Morgan already has the tent. We’re camping out tonight. You know, play a little banjo, melt some marshmallows. Way more important than your hairbrained scheme.”

“Can I get your blessing at least? If it works, I’m taking all the credit.” Bruce tries for a light, friendly tone. He doesn’t want to be angry with Tony. He doesn’t want to be angry at all. “If it fails… Well, it was Scott’s idea.”

Both men laugh, but they quickly sober when they make eye contact again. Tony’s hand comes into the camera view, and the feed cuts off.

“Hey!” Scott calls from across the lab. “Why were you laughing at me. This is a great idea.” He gestures at the van. “I’m the only one with an idea.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” Bruce says. “It’s just…Tony. He’s spent too much time alone. I think it’s an entrepreneur thing.”

“So he’s really a no go?” Scott asks. “For sure?”

“Yeah,” Bruce sighs. He closes the tab for the video chat and returns his attention to the time machine’s programming. “At this point, he may as well be on another planet.”

“He still covers the insurance, right?” Scott squirms in his vermillion hazmat suit. “If I die on the job, somebody’s got to get the payout to Cassie. I, uh, haven’t been great at that college fund thing. Do a cashier’s check. And delivery receipt.”

“You’re not gonna die,” Bruce reassures. “It worked last time.” He taps a few keys, finishing up the last line of his equation. “You survived the dust after all.”

“Mm.” Scott nods. “Will it be like jet lag, do you think? If I come back all woozy, wave some horseradish under my nose. That’ll kick me out of any kind of time coma.” He takes in Bruce’s blank look. “You have condiments here?” He tilts his head toward the fridge in the back of the lab.

“I don’t know,” Bruce says. “Natasha does the groceries. I usually eat out.” He hovers his finger over the power switch. “It’ll go fine. You ready?”

“Wait!” Scott stalls. “We should get something tonight. To celebrate, you know? After this thing works? Your treat. You have Doordash?”

“We have to actually do it first.” Bruce flicks the switch. The equipment in the back of the van lights up. “Then tonight we’re eating on Tony’s ticket.” He grins at Scott. “Do you like s’mores?”

[kuzann]

So did Vlad wait 20 years before trying to get revenge on Jack because he had to enter his midlife crisis first? :p

[byberbunk2069]

She just found some juicy Arasaka secrets (2076)

[incorrectpizza]

hehehe disney ticket is OFFICIALLY booked and I managed to save twenty-five dollars and sixty-four cents which isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things but hey it IS disney we're talking about so uh yeah calling today a win.

[the-tpd-bau]

Just a PSA. I've officially adopted @auroravictorium . She's mine now. Sucks to suck.

[tenojan-in-tevinter]

In datv I want dialogue options for when people suggest doing something absolutely insane and dangerous that are along the lines of just "yeah ok I'll do that." Especially if the person who suggested it was joking

[bigmanpiwi]

They got no clue where tf they're going

I've been rotating them in my mind like a couple of pebbles in a rock tumbler. I have. So many thoughts about stan and edas relationship specifically.

It's not a typical romantic relationship. I mean, they were only married for 7 hours, so. They're like-minded, kindred spirits... who constantly tried to pull the wool over the others' eyes. Almost every time they have crossed paths (they part ways to lead their own lives and do their own thangs but they always end up stumbling across eachother again through one hairbrained scheme or another) it's like a race to see who could rob the other blind first. And suuuure, maybe they've conned each other a few times, but they never stay mad. They understand the hustle. You can't blame a scorpion for stinging. They're just a couple of wandering nomads who find solace in each other AAAAA IDK WORDS‼️‼️‼️

[my-destiny-my-chicken]

I think that Merlin would have been a lot more silly and whimsical if Gaius was 100% on board with whatever hairbrained scheme Merlin was involved in that week. Disguising Arthur as an ordinary guy for a tournament? I’m sure that will be hilarious I’ll be watching in the front row. Trying to make Lancelot a knight? Sure I like that guy let me help you design the coat of arms!

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Stargazing-Ishtar X Reader

Happy Halloween!

It was the night of Halloween at The Clocktower. A night of celebration, ill thought out schemes, and the teachers eyeing their bags of candy set aside for when the night came to a close and all those dressed as ghouls and goblins filtered out.

Now, if only you were among those filtering out and about on the closest thing there is to a worldwide holiday in the world of Magi.

Instead, you were standing in one of the auditoriums used to teach the importance of proper alignment, depiction, and drawing of magical circles, having been badgered by your friends and associates into this hairbrained endeavor.

All because they learned you were studying systems of summoning in different magical systems in the European continent.

Yes, the name needed some work, but that could be left until later.

What could not be left until later, was you having to keep whacking your associates over the head any time they tried to touch the tome in your hand.

“C’mon! It can’t be that dangerous!” one of the many onlookers cried.

You ignored them in favor of ensuring that this was not screwed up and you didn’t accidentally summon some form of ultimate evil into the world.

…Again.

That aside, everything was almost ready, all you needed to do now was to add the final line.

The sound of your chalk scratching into the coarse material of the ground that had been infused with countless summoning attempts and experiments echoed in your ears.

With that, the complete symbol of Ishtar was inscribed upon the ground, with a few cautionary measures of course..

Everything was ready, all the precautions had been taken, not a single thing had been unaccounted for in your calculation and preparation.

Nothing was left to be done, save for the incantation.

You walked over towards the head of the room, the page of your tome being turned to the page that held the proper incantation.

A heavy breath left your mouth as you turned around, your circuits beginning to burn and thrum with power under your skin as you raised your hand towards the circle and began to chant.

“Spirit of Venus, Remember!”

The temperature dropped as the words left your mouth and ice began to form over the windows.

“ISHTAR, Mistress of the Gods, Remember!”

The circle began to glow with golden light as your audience started to grow fearful.

You couldn’t blame them, this wasn’t supposed to be what happened.

Had they underestimated the seriousness of all this?

Did you mess up on the sign?

“ISHTAR, Queen of the Land of the Rising of the Sun, Remember!”

The temperature dropped even further as a hole in the world appeared before you and, without warning, a vacuum formed.

You were getting worried now, but you had to keep going unless you wished to run the risk of something truly horrible occuring.

“Lady of Ladies, Goddess of Goddesses, ISHTAR, Queen of all People, Remember!”

The hole grew bigger and the vacuum grew more powerful as fearful screams filled the auditorium.

You felt your body getting pulled towards the hole, splitting your focus between keeping the ritual moving and not being pulled into the void.

“O Bright Rising, Torch of the Heaven and of the Earth, Remember!

O Destroyer of the Hostile Hordes, Remember!

Lioness, Queen of the Battle, Hearken and Remember!”

The hole continued to grow as your audience fled, pushing and trampling over one another to escape.

You wished you could join them.

This was nothing like anything you had tried before.

“From the Gate of the Great God NEBO, I call Thee!”

Pinpricks of light ignited in the void of the hole as the gate began to open.

“By the Name which I was given on the Sphere of NEBO, I call to Thee! Lady, Queen of Harlots and of Soldiers, I call to Thee!”

Light and color exploded within the gate as nebulae formed and a perfect look into the distant cosmos sat before you.

“Lady, Mistress of Battle and of Love, I pray Thee, Remember!

In the Name of the Covenant, sworn between Thee and the Race of Men,

I call to Thee! Hearken and Remember!”

A light began to form directly before the open gate, slowly morphing and attempting to take shape.

“Suppressor of the Mountains!

Supporter of arms!

Deity of Men! Goddess of Women! Where Thou gazest, the Dead live!”

The form began to grow more defined, more real, as the form of a woman made of light reached forwards and towards you, her hand piercing the veil.

“ISHTAR, Queen of Night, Open Thy Gate to me!

ISHTAR, Lady of the Battle, Open wide Thy Gate!”

Her form slowly came towards you, reaching outwards as it turned from light and into something real.

“ISHTAR, Sword of the People, Open Thy Gate to me!

ISHTAR, Lady of the Gift of Love, Open wide Thy Gate!

Gate of the Gentle Planet, LIBAT, Open unto me!”

Her hand was barely a step away as she reached towards you, her body becoming flesh and her eyes looking directly into yours.

Your vision was growing dark, you could feel your body grow weak from fighting against the vacuum, but you still had to continue the ritual, no matter how much your body and mind was screaming at you to stop, even when the hardest part was coming up.

Especially because the hardest part was coming up.

“IA GUSHE-YA! IA INANNA! IA ERNINNI-YA!

ASHTA PA MABACHA CHA KUR ENNI-YA!

RABBMI LO-YAK ZI ISHTARI KANPA!

INANNA ZI AMMA KANPA! BI ZAMMA KANPA!

IA IA IA BE-YI RAZULUKI!”

The final word escaped your lips, and the woman was fully formed before you, floating in the air as the hole in the world closed shut.

The woman had eyes like rubies, hair like onyx, and a smile more brilliant than diamonds.

She was beautiful, she would easily fit into any definition of beauty in the world.

Then, as she looked into your eyes, she spoke.

You could barely hear her, the entire world sounding like it was under water.

However, you could still faintly hear her.

“Are You My Master?”

After that, everything went black.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You groaned as you opened your eyes, the harsh light of the infirmary burning your retinas, forcing your eyes closed once more.

Your entire body ached in a way and in places you didn't know could even ache like that.

Not to mention your circuits, which you could tell you had overworked due to the feeling of intense, burning agony under your skin.

“Are you alive?” the voice of Lord El Melioi asked you.

“Not sure… try again later…” you groaned as you turned onto your side, briefly opening your eyes to see the woman from the cosmos, looking quite irate in some second hand clothes kept by the doctors and nurses in the case of an experiment turning… incendiary.

You blinked several times before turning over once more and towards Lord El Melioi who was currently chewing on a piece of gum in place of his cigarette.

“So, all that happened?” you asked.

“Correct.” the man responded with a pathetic attempt to keep his irritated expression in check.

“So… how screwed am I?” you asked.

“Royally, if it wasn’t for some extenuating circumstances.” the man responded.

“Hmm.” was all you said in response.

“So, who’s the lady?” you asked.

“I am RIGHT here!” the woman exclaimed in irritation.

“We do not know, but she claims to be the goddess Ishtar.” the old man answered.

“BECAUSE I AM!!!”

“We lack the evidence to prove her claim.” The Lord El Melioi declared.

“I will vaporize you, mark my words!” the woman who claimed to be Ishtar nearly shouted.

“I can see why that would be a bit hard to confirm…” you muttered as you turned onto your back.

“Seeing as if the woman’s claims are true-” the man began before being interrupted.

“THEY ARE!!!” the woman who claimed to be Ishtar whined.

“-It would mean that you dug up the bones of a goddess on Halloween night.”

You let out a groan.

“This is going to have massive repercussions, isn’t it?” you asked as you closed your eyes.

“Most definitely.” was all Lord El Melioi said in response.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You stumbled into your room and fell face first onto your bed, the woman who insisted upon being called Ishtar walking right behind you as you did so before making a bee-line to your closet and throwing it open.

“These are all your clothes?” Ishtar asked, flabbergasted.

“Yes.” You groaned into the bed.

“It’s the same outfit four different times!” Ishtar cried, abhorred.

“Exactly.” you said in response.

“This just will not do!” Ishtar exclaimed before walking over to you and peeling you off the bed to grab you by the collar.

“I REFUSE to have my spouse dress like some common cretin!” the woman cried.

“I don’t recall signing any marriage papers.” was all you said in response as your head lolled to the side.

“IT WAS IMPLIED IN THE SUMMONING!!!” Ishtar shouted.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It has been a year since you got a surprise wife on Halloween night.

She was a bossy, bullheaded, prideful, and big headed woman who had an ego the size of a galaxy.

You wouldn’t have her any other way.

Sure, she had a habit of threatening anyone who got too close to you with disintegration, but that is par for the course when in a relationship with a Goddess.

That said, she was still trying to get you to wear more “Appropriate Clothes For Your Station”.

She had continuously failed time and time again.

It was one of the many little games the two of you played.

Much like how Ishtar floated around you and took out whatever “Tax” she wished from any food you purchased.

Or how you, upon finding out she was ticklish, mercilessly attacked her every time she let down her guard.

The two of you were insufferable together, and you were frequently told so.

In all honesty, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ishtar might have the looks of a woman people would go to war for, but her personality was absolutely horrible, in a charming and adorable way.

And though you would never tell her for fear of her head getting so big it pops, you wouldn’t have her any other way.

As you continued to muse on Ishtar and the events of the previous year, a finger began to poke you in the side.

You ignored the sensation for a few moments longer, until a petulant whine cut through the silence and you were attacked by the arms of a woman wrapping around you like snakes and her body falling onto yours as you sat in your chair.

“Oh, hello Ishtar.” you muttered as you continued to gaze out at the starry night.

“You know, a girl could get really jealous if someone was looking at something else that wasn’t her.” Ishtar not so subtly hinted at as she tried to gently force you to look at her.

“What do you mean? I am looking at you! After all, these are the same stars as the night we met. Though, I have to admit that I didn’t pay much attention to them at the time.” You retorted with a soft smile on your face as you adjusted yourself and Ishtar to better ensure comfort.

Ishtar let out a laugh as she turned her eyes to look at the stars as well.

“I never took you as the reminiscing type.” the goddess muttered with a smile.

“I never took the Goddess Ishtar to be one to enjoy scooters. It seems we are both full of surprises.” You jabbed at her.

“You’re horrible!” Ishtar bemoaned with crocodile tears in her eyes.

“No worse than you dear, no worse than you.” was all you said in response as the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, gazing at the stars.

[st-just]

Like if I'm some random mercenary adventurer with delusions of grandeur and too many friends with hairbrained schemes I keep funding (Hawke) then yeah poking my nose into every random bit of interpersonal drama I can find and throwing rocks at every cave that's supposed to have a monster in it just in case money falls out makes total sense. When I'm theoretically a divinely anointed quasi-sovereign ruler with hosts and fortresses wearing my banner and courts enacting justice in my name like - why I am looking for this farmer's lost cattle? Do I not have people for this? And better things to do with my ostensibly valuable time? What sort of inner circle lets the holy symbol literally 100% of their legitimacy rests on risk death by gangrene fighting some random band of deserters looking for a widow's ring?

[rayrayor]

@look-i-love-u and @galladrabbles are getting us into the holiday season.

This weeks prompt is Secret Santa. Ho Ho Ho

It started 12 days ago.

A present sitting on his bunk.

A wool beanie for the frigid yard.

Money on his books.

A pack of smokes .

Fucking Mandy.

She had sent letters , visited before she took off and made friends with Enzo , who he guessed was roped into his sisters “ secret Santa”hairbrained scheme

But deep down it thrilled him.

He was lonely, abandoned.

So Christmas Day visitation he was called .

He grinned preparing to see sister.

Instead it was red hair, bright medicated green eyes .

“ I love you Mick, and am waiting for you “

[tachiharastanacc]

Tachihara is that one kid who gets annoyed by the other kids (Higuchi) talking and loudly tells them to shut up, which then also gets him in trouble with the teacher (Akutagawa)

Tbh I don’t fully understand where ppl get the idea that tachi is the one coming up with hairbrained schemes bc he’s almost always been shown being dragged into them and very very loudly and grumpily complaining lol

[warning-heckboop]

honestly i kinda love that the two most significant moments in which an au pair expressed independent thought were (a) telling dale his business scheme sucks and (b) lamenting that they aren't able to hug dev

GOD I didn't even think about the second one in relation, but you're so right

Obviously I have the whole "Au Pairs are secretly Pixies" theory, which works fine with telling Dale off for sabotaging his own business with his schemes, very on brand to be against actions that skew results, but the hugging bit doesn't quite fit that theory, at least not from what we've seen of Pixies in the past. I mean, hell, they raised Flappy Bob for 37 years and didn't seem to have considered ever even OFFERING actual care and comfort to him in that way. I suppose they could have learned from that and grown to adopt altered methods of manipulation? Orrrr I could be totally grasping at straws.

But regardless of my hairbrained theories, the Au Pairs canonically care about Dev more than they care about Dale--and also care about Dev more than Dale cares about Dev. So I'll consider that a win. A kind of depressing win, but a win nonetheless.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Revamp Vaggie Into Sin, Daughter Of Satan

It would have been good that instead of Charlie having Vaggie the exterminator how about she have Sin, daughter of Satan. And Sin could be revamped from how she is depicted in Paradise Lost like skewing the incestous bits but around the same age as Charlie and maybe be a childhood friend of hers. Maybe at first she would reluctant to join due to how her father would think but then get on board with it because she loves her that much. She could have still dated Sevianthan in hell school then moved onto to Sin when she was out.

Also her mother would be depicted as Death. I know death was depicted as the son of Sin and Satan, but it would be fun if death was married to Satan and be like a counterpart to Lilith and Lucifer. Heck, Sin, Satan, and Death being counterparts to the Magne/Morningstar family would be interesting. Also Sin could still keep Vaggie's temper problems and you can say she gets them from her father.

You could have Satan not on board with his daughter doing this hairbrained scheme Lucifer's daughter is planning due to his own beef with Lucifer and thinking Charlie is too soft, however, he does allow Sin to follow her because he has a soft spot for her. He still tries to keep updates on how it's going and would think it's too wild to work. Also totally makes visits to the hotel to check on his daughter and maybe even Charlie.

[dailyadventureprompts]

What’s fasinating about the d&d movie is that it is all the fun of d&d removed from the rigid restraints of the the clunky game system: Thrills and laughs and hairbrained schemes minus the minutia of needless rolls or waiting for your turn in initiative to circle around. Part of this is idealization, but as someone who’s obsessed with making my favorite game system the most fun possible I can’t help but draw some comparisons.

Combat: Holga’s fight scenes were a highlight of the film for me, displaying a huge amount of kinetic creativity as she pinballed between different combatants swapping out weapons, bouncing off the surrounding terrain . This is a far, far cry from how being a fighter plays out at the table, as most martial characters are focused into doing just one type of attack as good as they can because it’s their only reliable contribution to combat. Try to model Holga’s fights in game and you’d be caught in a boring slog of dealing 1d4+STR damage to a bunch of guards whittling away at their hitpoint pools, a far cry from the lighting quick flury of smashing, bashing, and flips that make her the film’s action setpiece.  

What d&d needs is a system for combat that exists alongside the traditional damage/HP paradigm: an additional layer of complexity for martial characters that encourages tactical thinking and lets those who do their damage up close feel just as cool and as clutch as casters. My mind’s already whirling thinking up something that revolves around stuns, suckerpunches, and positioning, so expect it later this week. 

Powercreep: This might be subjective but I find it fascinating that the official stats put out for the party has them hovering around level 16, a point in character progression  a)that  most characters never get to b) by which the game’s difficulty systems have begun to break down. I suspect this was done in order to keep their on-screen abilities in line with how they are in the base rules, but I can’t help but feel like its odd for the “idedalized” dnd experiance to be playing around with toys that most groups will never get their hands on. 

In my experience d&d is on a sliding scale of stakes V Shenanigans, with the exact ballance evolving over the course of a campaign:  Your group starts out as a bunch of dumbfucks and at some point while you’re making  making absolute fools out of yourselves you become a found family just in time for the consequences of your actions to circle back around and threaten the realm. First the characters start caring about eachother, then they care about the world, then they have to save that world. Level 16 is, for me, distinctly in “save the world” territory, despite the fact that the HaT crew are clearly still figuring out who they are and what they care about.  It makes me wish D&D was more free with its shenanigan enabling magic/items/class features at lower levels to help fuel these kinds of antics.  

Attunement: Perhaps the best “ oh I’m totally going to steal this” moment came from Simon’s attempt to attune to the helm of disjunction. Turning what was otherwise a rote game mechanic into an oppertunity for character growth was genius on behalf of the writers, though one I’d only really employ with items that were as necessary for my plots as the helm was for the heist. Just like Simon’s major flaw was self doubt, I could easily see delicious storytelling potential in throwing up other emotional hurdles depending on the situation: A hero’s sword refusing to attune to the haunted survivor until they’ve come to terms with what they’ve done, an otherwise altruistic character being forced to admit their sin and self interest by an evil-aligned artifact. 

Over all, I really enjoyed the movie, though paradoxically It didn’t hook me as much because for me one of the biggest charms of fantasy is the feeling of discoverying a new world, and I’ve been living the d&d world for the past 20 years so it didn’t come of as wild and magical as it could have been, having hewn so close to established d&d material. 

[quitealotofsodapop]

Bruh I was gonna write this as a ficlet but I ain't never gonna finish. Here, feel free to add or contribute if you please or enjoy:

This wasn't how Wukong's day was supposed to go. He was supposed to just do a quick flight over to the city, check his former brother's seal, and return home to another binge marathon of Monkey Cop and pigging out on peach chips. None of this successor stuff, none of this fighting to save the world bullcrap. Just a normal, regular old day of being completely alone aside from his younger and more feral subjects, the cubs often curling up on him or practicing their grooming. Just like he's done for the past 500 plus years.

His sister-in-law and her son finding a way to actually succeed in their quest to release his brother wasn't in that plan... neither was the unexpected reunion between Wukong and the little cub he'd given up all those years ago. Qi Xiaotian, or MK as he was known as, had grown up quite a lot in the years since he'd broken his own heart by placing a human disguise on him, sealing his powers away, and left him to the decendants of his late master and brother to find. Don't get him wrong, he hadn't done so out of neglect or because he didn't want to keep the cub. Hell, he hadn't even completely abandoned him either, consistently checking up on the little guy and keeping him safe from a distance as he grew. But he wasn't stupid either, the kid would have been miserable growing up with Wukong, would have never had a normal life if he was left with the old king, and that was the last thing Wukong had wanted for him.

Even so, seeing him suddenly appear out of nowhere had near made Wukong's stone heart jump out of his chest. Why his cub (Wukong firmly shook his head at the reminder that MK was NOT his cub anymore and he doesn't have the right to call him that) was even in that dirty alleyway climbing the pipes he has no idea, but at the moment Wukong had bigger things to worry about. Like his brother rising from the ground as his staff was lifted by some weird gauntlet his nephew had built and the fact he was in no way capable of fighting his brother again.

The kid promptly running away and then losing the staff in some hairbrained scheme to get it back to him after he picked it up hadn't been the best. Nor was the kid nearly being blown into a lava field by his sister-in-law and being forced to save him and carry him the rest of the way to Huāguǒshān hadn't been the best outcome either, but he'd take it.

He just wished it hadn't come at the cost of the kid discovering Wukong's secret. He had kinda figured it'd get out when the kid decided to try to return the staff to him, but he kinda wish it hadn't happened the way it had. The kid had seen him as he transformed back into his true form from his eagle form, which normally wouldn't be an issue, except Wukong had gotten up that morning and decided not to even bother brushing his fur or changing out of his pajamas.

Like he said, he had been planning a quick peekey weekey at the staff to make sure nothing was amiss and then binging his shows, nothing exciting or cleanup worthy. And considering his pajama shirt proudly proclaimed 'Baby on Board' there was simply no hiding the truth. Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, was pregnant.

Had been since before the Journey that truly made him a legend had even properly started, not that anyone beyond Guanyin or the Pilgrims had known.

MK had naturally been extremely excited to meet his idol and also quite confused about his condition. Wukong had just laughed off the matter for the most part. It certainly wasn't the worst reaction he'd dealt with in regards to his condition, Zu Baije had taken the cake for that one. And of course, Wukong had to be a kind host and lead the kid back to his hut, partially so he could change out of pajamas into something more fitting for company, while the kid rambled on about the Demon Bull King. It was during the walk back that Wukong had, essentially, admitted to spying on the kid.

And admitted to his own fault in getting the kid involved, confessing that he had sort of panicked in the moment. It was only fair that he fessed up, as he truly hadn't intended to put him in any true danger. He needed a distraction. Something to get that staff away from the IronBull Family, and the kid was the only available option. Especially when considering the more than likely negative feelings the IronBuul Fanily harbor towards Wukong and his precious egg.

He'd even complimented MK's handling of the staff, which was quite impressive considering exactly what Ruyi Jingu Bang actually was and the fact the kid had no prior experience with staffs or any type of weaponry as far as Wukong knew. The fact he could even lift the ancient artifact at all was impressive. He even joked that he might as well make him Wukong's successor for real after seeing that, after getting the staff back. That was a mistake. The kid took the joke seriously and decided that, since Wukong clearly couldn't fight in his condition, he would fight of Demon Bull King in his stead.

Wukong was almost impressed, if he hadn't been busy panicking over how BAD of an idea that was. MK is mortal!! He could get hurt! But apparently stubbornness is a common trait among Stone Monkeys and their ilk, because once MK had the idea in his head he refused to let it go. At this point, the best Wukong could do is damage control.

And by that he meant 'reign the kid in enough to get an actually viable plan up off the ground.' A plan that, upon reaching the city where the IronBull Family were beginning their conquest, and being surprised to see MK's friends rise to the occasion to try to fight the demon family themselves in the process, immediately went belly up in the water. The kid was supposed to stay back, let Wukong handle distracting the king while he got his friends to safety and snuck close enough to try to summon the staff from where it was being used as a battery in the generator DBK was wearing to power himself up. But then Wukong collapsed as soon as they landed, the multiple trips and carrying a teenager across an active volcano field being too much in addition to the baby that consistently drained his powers and the dao around it. Because of course Stone Monkey pregnancies can't be easy, right!?

Seeing the situation, MK promptly took Wukong's role and challenged the Bull King, leaving Wukong groundbound and trying to sneak close enough to get to the staff.

Then MK fucked up.

Wukong has no idea what the cub was thinking, but he decided to go for the generator himself, causing a massive explosion and a ton of property damage. And for Wukong, that resulted in a building falling on top of him. Luckily, Wukong is the Monkey King and was able to cast a last second protection spell upon his stomache to prevent his baby from getting hurt and he himself is immortal and mostly invincible, unfortunately he doesn't have the strength left between everything to get out from under the building. And he's fairly certain he has a couple of broken ribs and his leg is most definitely not supposed to bend that way. Meaning he was stuck, injured, and vulnerable out in the open with only him hastily throwing his dirty and ripped scarf over his head in a desperate attempt to stop anyone with unfriendly intentions, namely his former brother, from recognizing him.

In short, he was screwed.

See, an unfortunate truth about Stone Monkeys is that the reason they are

so rare in spite of their unique methods of procreation and power... is because it comes at a heavy cost. The stone egg that grows within a celestial primate feeds upon their very life force and the dao around them. Meaning that between the egg, multiple trips between his island and the city, and the work he put in to just keep the shrapnel from the battle form hitting any of the mortals who just had to stop and stare, Wukong had very little of his strength and power left to do something as simple as moving a couple thousand tons of rubble, debris, and shrapnel that was now burying his lower body. Some of which was digging painfully into his leg. Sometimes he wishes he had never let himself be redeemed, things would have been simpler if he didn't care about dorky mortals who foolishly hang out where they shouldn't be or pick fights with ancient demon kings.

"Hey, hey!" Wukong's ears perked as a voice shouted over the explosions of DBK's cannon. Blinking, he turned his head towards the sound, trying to blink past the dust and debris clouds that looked just a little too much like smoke in the waning light of the sunset. When did it get so late!? A large, stocky figure that would be considered short by most demons' descriptions but looked a giant in Wukong's own unglamorous opinion began to fade out of the dust around him, and bringing another sense of panic to him.

Zu Baije's decendant.

The monkey demon absolutely could not risk him seeing him. Being recognized in this vulnerable state would be bad news for him and his baby, that aside, he himself is msot certainly not mentally or emotionally ready to handle seeing a potential reincarnation of his brother! It doesn't take a genius, when one has Eyes of Truth, to realize the soul now running towards him through the debris shared the sound of his ancestor. Wukong squeezed his eyes shut, trying to think of a way out fo this as the piglet fell to his knees next to him.

"Are you alright!? Jeez... what am I sayin!? Of course you ain't, a building fell on you! Hey, don't worry, well getcha outta here."

The pig was rambling as he took in the filthy orange fur and unnatural angle of the monkey's leg. Wukong forced a smile upon his lips, all teeth and praying it be reassuring. Time to try to convince him to leave.

"D-don't worry about me. I'm fine." Wukong coughed out, cursing the way his voice stumbled over the words. The pig did not seem convinced, or I pressed for that matter, with. Wukong's reassurance. Instead he collapsed next to the monkey demon and began digging at the debris.

"H-hey, what..." Wukong tried to weakly shove him off, "I said not to worry! A bunch of rocks isn't gonna hurt me, you should just get out of here yourself! The fight is heading in this direction!"

AHHHHH!H!HH!H!H!H!

@a-tea-goblin you seeing this!?

This is gotta be one of the best gifts i've recieved in a long while!

I love the descriptions of Wukong + MK instantly deciding "I protec you now." when he realises that the Monkey King isn't doing so great cus of the baby.

And Dadsy to the rescue!! You know Wukong is caught off guard - I love how you have him protesting getting helped the entire time. He's not used to people caring about him again.

Even if you never "finish" this as a ficlet, I immensely enjoyed what you wrote!