#had to write it had to had to had to
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It's late when they get back to Evan's loft, his boyfriend offering him sanctuary in what he's promised to be the most luxurious bed in all of Los Angeles and a strictly innocent no-hands-below-the-waist safe zone—which had been promised after Tommy had yawned for the seventh time (I've been counting, come home with me, let me take care of you). And Tommy's never been a very strong man when it comes to Evan, he'd discovered that pretty quickly, but right then he can't imagine anything better than sinking into his arms for the night, than waking up curled around him the next morning.
Except, as soon as the door closes behind them, Tommy finds himself wanting to make this night last a little longer. The dim lights in the kitchen cast Evan in a beautiful glow, shadows dancing over the angular lines of his face, and Tommy just wants. He watches Evan busy himself at the sink and thinks about the bottled sunshine of him as he'd said that he needed someone to dance with.
Tommy pulls his phone out of his back pocket and opens YouTube, finds some playlist of old love songs by the greats like Fitzgerald and Sinatra that he knows will make Evan get all flustered, turn that delicious shade of pink. He lets the ads play out before he turns the sound up and sets his phone down on the kitchen island.
Evan turns around as the beginning notes of The Way You Look Tonight start to play, a cute little frown twisting his eyebrows. Tommy doesn't say a word, just drifts around the island to Evan's side and holds out a hand. Evan only looks down at it, blinking hard.
"We didn't get our dance," Tommy murmurs. When Evan's eyes find him, they're wide and raw and oh-so-blue. Tommy could drown in them. He thinks he might want to.
"Oh," Evan chokes out, tiniest smile dancing across his lips.
Before Tommy can worry about it, Evan is bypassing his offered hand to wrap his arms around his neck. Tommy's hands settle at his waist like instinct despite the fact they've really only done anything like this a few times. And then they start to sway together, gentle, barely even moving really. Just close. Evan rests his head on Tommy's shoulder, and something dangerous and wonderful happens inside Tommy's chest. A feeling he hasn't felt for a long time. And maybe it should scare him, so soon, but how could he ever be scared with Evan humming along softly in his ear, the rumble of it reverberating through Tommy's ribcage too, waking his heart up completely.
"Yes, you're lovely," Tommy croons along with Sinatra. It's a little cheesy, sure, a lot sappy, but it's worth it for the smile he can feel against the sensitive skin of his neck as it crawls over Evan's face. "With your smile so warm and your cheeks so soft." Here, he's helpless to do anything but drop a chaste peck to the apple of Evan's cheek, watching it bloom pink as a cherry blossom beneath his lips.
"There is nothing for me but to love you." Tommy lets Frank sing that one alone.
They're not there yet, but, God, Tommy really thinks he's heading that way. And when Evan picks his face up to rest their foreheads together instead, Tommy thinks maybe he's feeling it too. They just look at each other for a moment, drinking it all in as the song continues in the background. And then Evan is murmuring,
"And that laugh that wrinkles your nose," as he leans up to kiss the tip of Tommy's nose, and Tommy wrinkles it in answer, smiling wide, "it touches my foolish heart."
And, of course, Evan knows this song. A love song as soft and gentle as he is. Tommy kisses him for it. On the mouth this time.
It's not their first kiss. Not their second. It's their third. Certain, sure, but still chaste. Slow and unhurried. Exploring without intent, just to get to know each other. Gentle pressure and the slightest hint of tongue as they linger in it, loathe to separate.
It's as the final note of the song plays that Tommy has to pull away with a jaw-cracking yawn. Evan only huffs a laugh at him.
"Come on, you big lug," he murmurs, swaying back in for one last brush of lips. "Let's get you to bed."
#sami rambles#had this idea for YONKS#had to write it had to had to had to#911 spoilers#911 show#evan buckley#tommy kinard#buck x tommy#bucktommy#911 abc#911 coda#911 fic#911 ficlet#bucktommy fic#buck x tommy fic#bucktommy ficlet
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!
#this trend sparked so much joy in my soul#i saw many fun cute and silly mikus#i love drawing habesha clothes but a lot of them require small detailed embroidery that makes me go insane#this is why ppl use pattern brushes cuz damn i had to simplify everything basically#also im bad at writing amharic and tigrinya oops!!#this was fun it got me outta a slump i was in all damn week#interestingly... their faces look a lot like my siblings and i? i didnt mean to do that at all tho... huh#my art#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#vocaloid
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writing tip: searching "[place of origin]ish names" will get you a lot of stuff and nonsense made up by baby bloggers.
searching "[place] census [year]" will get you lists of real names of real people who lived in that place.
#obviously not everywhere has a census or had one during the period you're writing in#but it's a better start than the goddamn baby bloggers#writeblr#writing research
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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Had to make a meme to describe me currently
#look#I had the idea in the shower#I just have no idea how to piece it together into something whole#fics#fic memes#writing memes#writers on tumblr#writing#struggles#writing struggles#meme
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8 year old freshly adopted Dick, throwing the moths and flies he caught on Patrol directly at Bruce's face: I got you dinner!
Bruce, who was just bombarded with insects: Chum?!
Dick, smiling cheerfully: Bats eat insects!
Bruce:
Dick: I just read it in a book
Bruce:
Bruce: Bats also eat fruits and nectar
Dick: So you're a fruity bat?
Bruce:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick, throwing an apple at him the next day: Dinner!
Bruce:
#Stupid headcanon but when Dick was a freshly adopted 8 year old who had just found out that his new dad was Batman(or that batman existed)#this should've happened#scenes I'd write in batman part two if i was allowed to#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#batman#nightwing#battinson#incorrect batfamily quotes#dc robin#robin#incorrect batfam#incorrect batman quotes#i love typing bruce:#because his children just make him speechless it's so funny#and yes dick was also calling him gay
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super annoying gojo satoru when a girl comes up to you and asks you if he's your brother even after clearly seeing him grabbing your ass and saying super cheesy lines to you to make you only roll your eyes at him.
and you're stuck dumbfounded because it's not rocket science to figure out that you two are a thing just by looking at the both of you because the clingy bastard is quite literally stuck to you everywhere you go, whining and pleading for yet another kiss after stealing several from you.
and it's the same clinginess that prompts him to answer in your stead "yes actually. we're siblings" he beams a smile at you and you scowl, why the hell is he feeding onto this random girl's delusions like that? can't he take the hint?
you're not done scrutinising him when he grabs your chin with his big ass hands and smashes his lips onto yours, tugging and devouring your mouth into an extra sloppy kiss for the girl to take a hint.
he pulls away, a smirk on his lips as he licks his lips where yours had been a second ago. "is that obvious enough?" he chuckles, eyes never leaving yours as you see the girl storm off in the corner of your eye.

#i saw a quote that said bro's the type to say youre siblings and kiss you#and it was so satoru coded i Had to#i want him i miss him huhu#supersweet! writes#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk scenarios#jjk drabbles#jjk fluff#jjk imagines#gojo x you#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk fic#jjk crack#jjk satoru#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x reader
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Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral
#yes i am writing this#my rambles#this post really popped off#ironically this is about my original characters#but if I had to make it Teen Wolf…#scisaac#scott mccall#isaac lahey
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Disclaimer these are just a small sampling of some possible writer traits I’ve noticed either in myself or in fics I read. Also consider a rb for sample size !
#I literally do all of these but mostly abuse of metaphor and specific descriptors and run on dialogue with no staging#writing#writers on tumblr#polls#I chose abuse of a metaphor you like because I think that’s probably my biggest#but also literally ‘you guys are getting beta readers?’ because I’ve NEVER ONCE had someone beta read for me#I like. proofread. sometimes#if you’re lucky#lol#but I’m curious what you guys do lol
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Continuation of this
#trying to write bills cipher in character is harder than it looks#I HAD to finish this comic but I have so many other things to do so now I gotta go do that#it’s nearly 1am help#my art#gravity falls#twins in time au#Stan pines#Stanley pines#bill cipher#I think the idea of bill weaponising Stans fear of losing his brother is so interesting a concept#especially because he literally does lose him in the future#baby Stan having to atone for the actions of his future self when he just wants his cool brother to like him#:((((
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nanami married you four days ago... he's so obsessed with you he forgets how to be. <3
kento's been physically unable to keep his hands off you since you took his surname. there's just something different in the way you move around him.
like this morning, you slide out of the big resort bed in absolutely nothing, dragging your feet as you head to the showers. of course you were careful not to stir your sleeping husband, but you couldn't last another second under the mugginess of the comforters. though, your langkawi honeymoon resort was full of love, just not air conditioning. kento hated sleeping with windows open, so you succumbed to the mugginess.
as soon as you turn on the shower spray and dip your head under, the door draws open so slowly you don't even notice it. you can only notice the sudden rush of cold that falls over your skin. peeking open a single eye, you smile when you see him shedding his sleep shirt and stepping into the steamy, tiled sanctuary with you.
he doesn't speak a word, but every little movement is so deliberate and kind. starting at your shoulder, he traces the expanse of your neck, breathing heavily behind you before pressing a kiss right above his touch. you crane your neck, offering him more.
"i hate to be a bother, but you are just so beautiful this morning." he whispers against your wet ear, nuzzling deeper into his back with his stringy, blonde hair dripping down his shoulders. "can you feel it? how much I need you? can I put it in - my nanami, please?"
he knows you'll say yes, but always asks. you'll always tell him to touch you whenever he needs it, but he's so respectful it's stupid. so, you nod, rubbing water out of your eyes so when you turn around, you can see him through the fog. all of his tight features, the cut of his jaw, the softness of his eyes. it all rings true and feels like home.
wrapping both arms around his shoulders, you nod. "as long as you keep treating me so well, you can have whatever you need." you remind him, leaning close to trail yours across his dripping lips.
"now, i'm not a religious man, nor did I lead a very fulfilling life. but, you, my dear..."
"what?" you're flushed, still so used to his compliments but always prisoner to his charm.
"you are my purpose."
around his back, your hands turn to fists, trying to fight the visceral body response his words never fail to give you. "god, don't look at me like that. you're perfect."
he would humor you more, but that look in your eyes makes him rather fuck you gruelingly slow against the harshness of the hot water.
so, that's what he does.
shower sex always unnerved you, but kento is so alarmingly stable on his two feet that he can sustain the weight of both of you against the slickness. it just gives him purpose for fucking you soft and slow, watching the girth of his cock split you open so delicately like you're made for him.
he makes you watch, this time, wrapping your legs around his waist as he supports you against the shower wall. you love the feeling of his thick fingers digging into the swell of your ass, and love the sound of his sweet, deep voice, recognizing all of your lewd tendencies.
"see how it gets all red when I pull out. like you're blushing on my cock, my baby - nanami."
"mm, oh i love that,"
"look at it," he demands, pressing the top of his head to yours as you let it hang between your shoulders. "no matter how many times I do this to you, I never get over just how well I fit..."
"almost like you're made for me. in fact, I know you were."
#had a dream abt kento calling me nanami#i had to write this im not sorry#come home wife guy nanami the kids miss you#.nanami <3#.the wife guy!! <3#jjk smut#nanami x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#nanami kento x reader#kento smut#nanami smut#nanami kento x you#husband nanami
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Imagine Toji with a very talkative younger girlfriend who doesn’t know when to ever shut the fuck up, your words tumbling out your mouth faster than he can even process. Toji is an older man who’s in his damn 40s, tired and worn out after a long day of chasing and murdering a bunch of fools, not as young and energetic as you so sometimes he just lets out a deep, exhausted sigh and…
“Why don’t you shut the fuck up and let this loud pussy do all the talking?” He meanly grumbled in a hoax tone as his toned pelvis rudely smacks against the soft, rippling flesh of your meaty ass. His vicelike grip tightened on your hips, calloused fingers digging into the flesh just enough to make you arch deeper into his body.
The nasty sounds of your wet, squelching little cunt filled his ears and the entire room, it’s as if it was thanking him for his rough pounding every time he dives his cock deeper in with relentless force.
“Fuck you hear that? He rasped, his voice thick with sheer amusement. “So fucking greedy and loud for my fat cock” The deep, sexy timbre of his voice only had your horny hole drooling even more over his shaft, warm pearlescent slick coating him in a way that made him even harder when he feels it gradually spreading around him. Your whimpers were caught in your throat, babbling something incoherent that he doesn’t give a single fuck about.
“Nah, don’t start runnin’ your fucking mouth now”, he chuckled darkly. A heavy hand coming down to land a firm slap on the swell of your ass, making you jolt and bury your face further into the pillows, trying to muffle the gasps that are escaping your lips.
Your body trembled, overstimulated and desperate. Your poor thighs twitching as he kept up his brutal pace that only he could possibly possess. His cock was splitting you open in two halves as he craves his dick shape into you at the same time. Each deep thrust knocked the air from your lungs, leaving you gasping for air. It’s as if he’s handling your cunt like some grippy fuckhole for him to take his exhaustion and frustration out on.
"You were talkin' so damn much earlier," he mocked, one big hand sliding up your spine to grab a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back so you could hear him clearer. His lips brushed against your ear, his voice nothing but a low, taunting growl. "Where's all that mouth now, huh?".
You tried to form words, tried to respond, but all that left your lips was a high-pitched moan, a sound that only seemed to stroke the older man’s fucking ego even more.
"That's what I thought," he sneered, slamming his hips flush against yours in a mean, abusive way— grinding deep before pulling back just to repeat the same punishing rhythm. "Guess this greedy fuckin' pussy is the only thing that knows how to answer me right now”.
#had to write something for my talkative girls :333#toji fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen#toji jjk#jjk#toji smut#toji imagine#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji x reader#toji x female reader#toji x y/n#toji x you#jjk imagines#jjk smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x female reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#kento nanami#suguru geto#choso kamo#geto suguru#suguru smut#nanami kento#kento smut#gojo smut
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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something stranger and more wonderful
(ID in ALT text)
my art for @faux-fires (ao3 Link) fic "something stranger and more wonderful"
beta red by @ranilla-bean (ao3 Link) for this years @zukkabigbang2024 event. its truly a beautiful fic. Keeping you on your toes while reading. making you worry about sokka exposed to the whims of nature and zuko, all alone.
big thank you to reikah and rana for all the handholding during this project! And stoping me form overthinking details.
#atla#zukka#sokka#zuko#zukka big bang 2024#zukkabb24#the funnyest thing here is how full cycle this project went!#i posted on a whim last year mere zuko#reikah had an idea to write the fic#well here we are a year later#funny how things somtimes go!#thanks again for the patience reika and rana showed to me during this project -praying-
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I feel like we really lost something when we started looking at writing as a reader-centric product meant to appeal to the desires of a specific audience rather than a writer-centric approach of someone writes whatever particular thing particular compels them/whatever weird thing the demons in their head want to talk about, and people out there who are also compelled, and/or relate, find that writing. A lot of discussions of writing really center around what readers want rather than a writer's exploration. Sometimes as a reader I don't know what I want. I click on a fic or pick up a book I'm not sure about but that looks interesting, and I love it. Reading what I expect to get is it's own joy, but we always need to expand our horizons and not get mad at creators for not always writing what we want/expect.
#This applies to other media too#Like movies or TV or theater#Idk man like#It's a very the customer is always right attitude with books these days#And I think it has leaked into fic writing as well#People really get the “this isn't what I personally enjoyed” and “this thing is objectively bad” mixed up#Like people can leave whatever reviews they want on my books they paid for it#But I've had people who liked OFMD be like well I didn't like this because it wasn't OFMD#Well I didn't say it was did I?#And never forget that fic commenter I got who was like um I don't like that you had QuinObi in this but otherwise it was good#Ok???#KCrabb rambles#Writing things
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