#I had the idea in the shower

[the-coffee-fandom]

Had to make a meme to describe me currently

[forgetful-nerd]

No one:

Tumblr users on April Fools Day and Halloween:

[kimtaegis]

JIN HUGS JIN HUGS! for @jinstronaut ♡

cr. namuspromised, dwellingsouls, 0613data

[baeshijima]

mmm thoughts of private executioner!blade, who is high priestess!kafka's bodyguard. well, more like her guard dog, as many fearfully seem to think.

he is aloof and gruff and rough around the edges, his name capturing it perfectly. when in the eyes of the public he either keeps to himself or stands ready by kafka's side, but when out he lurks in the shadows ready and waiting to carry out her death orders.

you, yourself, haven't had very many pleasant encounters with him... if you can even call them that. that being said, you haven't had many pleasant encounters with anyone. notorious for your... less than pleasant disposition, for a lack of better words, you have more people who'd rather see you run through than those you can call a friend.

in a dog-eat-dog world, you had no choice but to protect yourself. that, however, ultimately became your demise.

"oh? so you're the one sent to kill me. can't say i'm all that surprised."

standing before you is the feared executioner. his sword is tucked inside the sheath attached to his hip, that ever-present dark swirl of an aura stifling the air. he doesn't say anything, instead opting to silently stare down at your slumped and worn-out form. you find that his gaze doesn't bother you; rather, it's oddly comforting knowing someone will see you in your last moments.

"i've never asked you for a favour before, so this will be my first and last request for you." in all honesty, you're not sure where this chattiness stems from. considering you're currently in a holding cell under the crime of attempted murder towards kafka (a poisoned wine you were most definitely framed for, though you can't say you were surprised) and are awaiting for your turn to be under the guillotine for your public execution, you probably should be a little desperate towards the private executioner in front of you.

and yet, your mind is nothing if not peaceful.

with a huff, you relay your request, "can you make sure it's quick? painless, preferably, but i'd rather you just get it over and done with."

silence blankets the cold chambers. moisture accumulated along the cobble ceiling drip in a steady rhythm, like a clock ticking away the seconds. it's unnerving, almost, how there is not a single sound other than your impending countdown.

"why?" comes his low mutter, effectively causing a ripple within the stagnant air. you almost think you misheard him, but his following words cease the thought, "why won't you ask me for help?"

had it not been for the abrupt shuffle and clanging against the metal bars, you would have never looked up to see him in your last moments.

his scarred hands gripping the metal until his knuckles turn a ghastly white and blood dripping from his palms is what greets your sight. as your gaze slowly trails up, you almost let loose a laugh of disbelief; who would have thought blade, the infamous guard dog of the high priestess, could make such a desperate expression? one looking as though his whole world crumbled before him, in which he can do nothing but sit and watch.

(you will never know of the anger and desperation which coursed through his veins the moment he heard of your predicament. had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have cared. but you're not anyone else; you're you — unapologetically, wholeheartedly. it didn't take him long to hunt down those behind it, cutting them down without thought and putting an end to their miserable lives. he rushed as soon as he could when kafka gave him the order, no thoughts other than you, you, you, occupying his mind.

you will never know of the anguish which overcame him when he found you in such a state, your once healthy complexion and defiant gaze reduced to nothing but a tiredness which had always sat quietly behind your disposition. he's almost positive the muscle which unwillingly keeps him alive tore at the seams from your request, the acceptance in which you displayed causing his mind to go astray. even as he damn-near begs you to rely on him for help — to run away with him to some place no one knows of you and start anew there — you merely smile, resigned and peaceful.

you will never know of how much blade is willing to put on the line for you, for you never made it to see the complete and utter carnage he wrecked in your name.)

[bats-in-the-attic]

Obsessed with the idea of going clubbing while on leave with the 141.

Price claims he's only there to be the designated driver. Simon claims he's only there to keep you lot from giving Price the slip and getting into trouble, but he's standing with John and nursing his own drink. He's had several at this point, says it's the only way he can stand being in a place like this. Secretly, they're both there because they saw your skimpy little outfit and decided the club didn't sound so bad if they got to watch you move around in that. And god, can you move. They're both intently watching you dance sandwiched between Kyle and Johnny, wondering what else those hips can do. Kyle and Johnny are absolutely entranced. They've been getting closer to you with every song, and at this point, it feels like you three are in your own little world. Kyle has his hands on your rib cage while you grind back on him, Johnny's got his on your hips, and you've thrown your hands over his shoulders.

Johnny looks over to where Simon and Price are standing and notices the look on Simon's face and the fact that his drink is empty and immediately sets out a plan to get Simon to loosen up a little. He gets Kyle's attention and motions Simon over and tells him to keep their bonnie lass company while him and Kyle go get drinks for everybody. Kyle raises an eyebrow but follows him to the bar anyway. The song changes to something slower and you, in your infinite drunken wisdom, take Simon's hand and spin yourself so he's got you wrapped up in his arm with your back to his chest. Were he sober this would never fly, but he's got a good buzz and he's wanted to sink his teeth into you all night, so he puts his other hand on your hip and stands there and sways with you for a minute. Johnny, never one to miss an opportunity, promptly places a shot for you into Simon's hand, says something you can't quite make out, and heads back to the bar so him and Kyle can watch this all unfold.

Simon holds the shot up in front of you and you ask him what it is. With a smirk he says "Johnny called it a Jolly Rancher shot. Said its something fruity for our little tart". You scoff at that. You tell him you've never had one, he says he hasn't either and then does what Johnny expected him to do. Instead of letting you take the shot out of his hand, he places it at your mouth and takes a half step away from you so he can hold it while you knock it back. What Johnny didn't expect him to do was immediately bring his other hand up to your throat to keep your head tilted back so he could bend over you and lick into your mouth. Your tongues tangle briefly before he pulls away, keeping his hand on your throat. Your breath catches and he says "Johnny was right, the shot was fruity". The only thing you can focus on is Simon's tongue as he licks his lips.

Suddenly Price has his hand on your shoulder and says it's time to go. On the way back to base you lock eyes with Price in the rear view mirror and blow a kiss. You giggle when his grip on the steering wheel tightens. Kyle and Johnny both place a hand on your legs and you get the feeling that you've still got a long night ahead of you.

[myfamilycrestisthedemonofdeath]

I know for a fact that the 141 men CANNOT handle a hot shower, the kind that you like to take. The one that is borderline painful because of how hot it is.... but it feels so nice and soothing, especially if you have aches and pains all over.

These grown men are military; too used to brisk, cool (heck, maybe even cold) showers that last 5 minutes at most. No shower thoughts to dwell on except to get it done quickly to get started on their day.

So I can totally see that when they try to join you enjoying your shower for the first time, they are in for a surprise.

Johnny definitely yelps. He tries to slide in behind you and hold you, but the minute his arms are under the sprayer, he's jumping, almost making the both of you slip. He probably mutters some garbled whines of "how the fuck you are under that spray, bonnie, it's too fucking hot the skin off me arms is burnt tae crisp, christ there might be a demon doon here, this is hell" and then he quickly backtracks and apologizes, "you are not a demon, just a lovely angel who enjoys water hotter than the sun's ass". He'll probably beg to have the water down a little cooler before rejoining you under the spray.

Kyle asks first to join you while you are already showering, and you can see his hesitance as he steps behind you, his eyes warily looking at the too steamed up mirror and wincing as the water splashes off you and onto him. "Jesus, this feels like a bloody geyser, worse than the goddamn desert heat", he grumbles, but after a while, maybe with your encouragement, he starts to not dislike it. "This why you always are hot, yeah?", he probably teases you with his grin, and while he takes a while longer before he fully joins you under the spray, he's enjoying how the surrounding heat is soothing him and how it's making you so soft and pliable.

"Bears cannot handle hot environment", is what you say when Price joins you. "I'm no bloody bear", he will say, but you definitely see him wincing while getting close to you from behind. This stubborn man is covered head to toe in hair, and while the situation for him is definitely uncomfortable, he will tough it out so long as he gets to be in control of how you clean your body. This hairy man has a fine body underneath all the curls drenched in hot water, and I'd be damned if you don't end up having a delightful time as he cleans the both of you.

Poor Simon will join, and I firmly believe you will have to either kick him out or really lower the temperature of the shower. He won't say much when he slides in, but when you finally glance back, this hulking wall of man is definitely lobster red and grumpy. For a stoic person, his body sure does a lot of the talking for him, especially when it is laid bare in front of you, and all you can read off him is that he will stay with you for your entire shower.

Lemme rephrase my point, they cannot handle a hot shower unless YOU are in it.

[yourlocalcorviddad]

Broke: Billy Batson would have grown up to look like his Shazam form no matter what.

Woke: Billy would have looked different but because he's Shazam, he'll look like that when he's physically an adult.

Bespoke: Billy looks entirely different, and in fact other genetics come into play as he ages and he looks like he could never be Shazam, even as an adult.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

[geraldmariaivo]

Y’all know that concept where if a ghost is injured enough they retreat into their core? And you know how that can apply to halfas? Well consider the following:

Halfa!Jason who’s like right next to dying, and as a last-ditch effort to survive, his core forces him to retreat into itself. Mans is bleeding out in an alley somewhere, and then very suddenly he isn’t, and he also isn’t really aware of anything. 

Meanwhile one of the Crime Alley kids, who was about to go get help, just watched Red Hood turn into a weird version of Robin before becoming an orb. This is really fucking weird, even by Gotham standards, but Red Hood is an orb now so at least he’s not bleeding out anymore???? After about three seconds of pondering how A) expensive the orb looks (plus it could be some magic quick-healing or stasis orb or something), and B) this thing may be very fragile, and sure Hood is a crime boss, but he takes care of them and makes sure his people get what they need whenever he can, and if it breaks then there’s the distinct possibility that it would seriously hurt him while he’s in there.

So, the kid picks it up, and takes it home. The kid stashes it away when they can’t afford to keep it on them, but otherwise they keep it hidden in them somewhere.

Maybe Jason gets passed between a few different Alley kids that kid #1 trusts, maybe he stays with one of the Girls at some point, or maybe ends up being communally taken care of by whoever was told. Maybe the residents see the orb and feel an urge to protect it, or they get a little feeling in the back of their mind that tells them protect-guard-keepsafe because it’s Jason’s haunt that they live in.

Either way, the Alley is his haunt, so he and the kid/kids he’s with end up very narrowly avoiding serious trouble because he’s low-key exerting his influence over it to keep his very vulnerable self out of danger. Maybe being in his haunt results in him being aware of his general location before he can take in his immediate surroundings. Who knows, he might even realize that there’s not something wrong with him as much as it is other the more he becomes aware of what’s going on.

Meanwhile the bats are having a stroke looking for Jason because the last place they know he was is an alley with no cameras, and he was very clearly bleeding out before he seemed to just disappear.

Listen, I just wanna see Crime Alley and it’s inhabitants protecting Jason, even if most of them don’t realize it.  yes this is inspired by Robin’s Egg. If you don’t know what that is, I strongly suggest you check it out, it’s by @arzuera! 

[pixelated-whump]

Defiant Whumpee who cries when they're angry, but has a high pain tolerance. Whumper loves to see them cry, so when they first learn they cry out of anger, Whumper takes to riling them up on purpose to get them to cry.

Maybe Whumper makes fun of them for it, maybe Whumpee has been bullied for this exact thing before. Maybe it's even just a massive source of embarrassment!

I just love the thought of a Whumpee crying out of sheer anger and not fear.

[remindertoselfto]

The first (but maybe not last??) time Edgeworth ever sought Gumshoe out in the precinct locker rooms. 

[softshuji]

Hm, when you're being a brat I feel like shuji would make you watch one of your many lil sex tapes while gagged and tied to a chair or the bannisters of the bed.

And if you think about looking away, he'll harshly grab your chin and turn your head back. 'Watch sweetheart, you don't wanna make me any more mad right?' and he's picked one of the ones where the camera angles are perfectly in view of how he grabs your hips and bounces you on his cock, his lips nipping and biting and sucking at your neck behind you, the other hand squeezing and pinching at your nipples before switching over.

And if you mewl and whine and drool over the gag he'll coo in your ear, "look how well she sucks me in pretty girl. That could be you right now but you just had to misbehave didn't you?" And he actually laughs, and strokes your cheek ever so softly and condescendingly when you get so wet and sticky that you start trying to grind against the seat of the chair for some friction.

And when you're moaning and tearing up from how aroused you are, just as he makes you cum in your little tape, pleading at him with big wet apologetic eyes, he'll say he'll only take the gag out if you're going to say sorry for being such a brat.

'sorry daddy, say it.'

'sorry daddy, please, no more.'

'what are you sorry for?'

'sorry for being a brat and misbehaving'

'are you going to do it again?' he knows you will.

'i won't, I promise.' you know you will.

but he'll let you have it. 'good girl, such a good girl aren't you?' And he's positively beaming, when you reach out your arms for him to carry to the bed or sofa and burying your face in his neck, so he can fuck his pretty girl as a reward for good behaviour.

[soupysuki]

the universe question

[mars-ipan]

the other day @barack-fa and i were discussing garfield and growing up with it and such and then somehow one of us (barack, i think?) had the genius level idea of komahinanami garfield au. and i HAD to make it real

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

(guy who still has studying and a writing final to do voice) finally. i can write fanfiction again

[zil-street]

Scary: Bet I can make a grown man cry in under 10 seconds

Normal: Scary no-

Scary *yelling across DADDIES HQ*: Dad, what are we having for dinner?

Terry Jr. *points at himself and looks around*

Scary: …

Terry Jr. *through tears of joy*: ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵃ