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chilumi-shipper · 2 years

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Forget and Regret (2)

Kamisato Ayato x Fem!Reader

Summary: Part 2 of "Forget and Regret", Ayato is being plagued by dreams, you think he doesn't need you anymore, but for some reason, he really can't just leave you alone. Many moments of pain came before comfort.

Tags: Angst w/ happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, A little swearing, Maybe a little naughty in the end (nothing explicit)

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Ayato walked into the room, his eyes landing on a girl lying on his bed, her shoulders shaking as little sobs filled the quiet room.

Her figure was covered by a blanket, and though he could not see her up front, he knew that she was clutching the sheets to her chest.

"Love?" He called out for the girl, the endearment falling naturally from his lips.

The girl did not look at him, but he knows that he's gained her attention.

She tried to control her breath, trying not to make her shallow and sobbing breaths obvious.

"I-I'm sorry..." The girl said in such a small and quiet voice, the stuttering making it obvious that she had been crying. "I k-know it's stupid, b-but I just wanted to give you a g-gift." Ayato had been hearing a lot of this 'gift' thing. He has no idea what is happening, yet the sight of the girl crying in front of him just makes him want to coddle her and make her feel better.

"I should say my apologies as well, my love..." His mouth moved on its own, letting him say words for which he did not know the context. "I didn't mean to lose my temper. I may have been angry, but I would never ever dream of hurting you."

"I-I regret not saying this sooner, my dear Y/-"

The Yashiro Commissioner stirred awake, groaning as his eyes slowly opened.

He grabbed a pillow by his side and covered his face with it.

Yet another dream, of the same girl, no less.

And every single time, every waking moment after a dream like that, Ayato felt like his heart was being vigorously tugged on, a sense of regret oozing from the back of his mind. And try as he might, no explanation ever arose to answer his questions.

So, just like every time that this happened, he shrugged off the feelings conveyed by the dreams before finally getting out of bed.

...

"Have you heard? The Commissioner and his wife had a fight." You hear the whispered rumours of some of the workers in the estate, making you sigh.

"Yeah, but people have been saying that she left him. Here she is now, though, so maybe it's all just exaggerated."

"No! I was here a few weeks ago, and I heard the Lord himself screaming angrily. Could it be that he was mad at Lady Kamisato?"

"Could be, not to mention that Lady Ayaka has been acting weird lately. She's taking over all of the Lord's duties; I wonder what's happening inside their home."

"Ladies, please. Let's all just stop with all the gossip and get to work?" Thoma approached the workers gathered around to talk about the Kamisato siblings and you, keeping his polite smile as he asked them to get back to work.

After the group got back to their duties, the blonde walked up to you.

"My lady." He addressed you like always, making you look down a bit. "The Shuumatsuban thanks you for your generous donations and help on their mission against the Fatui."

Lately, you've been going back to the estate, both to gather your things without attracting attention and to pay back for what you did a few weeks back.

You also did some digging around the Fatui in Inazuma; it took quite a while, and though it almost got you in danger with the organization, you got a few useful pieces of information for the Shuumatsuban. You feel that this is only appropriate because you accidentally sabotaged them before.

"Umm, please tell them that I'm glad I could do something good for them." You smiled at him, feeling a little bit flustered. Your interactions with Thoma have been very awkward lately; he's still against what you're doing with Ayato. "Thanks for everything, Thoma."

He merely nods before watching you walk out of the estate, presumably going back home.

"I didn't know that she worked here." The retainer heard his lord's voice from behind him, making him turn around to face him. "I wish I had the chance to talk to her again." Thoma noticed how Ayato's blueish-purple eyes followed the trail you walked on, perhaps thinking about you as he did so.

This is why he thinks what you're doing is silly. One look at his lord and he sees the interest in you oozing from him, even at his current state.

"Well, technically, she doesn't work here. But she plays a very important role in the estate." Thoma clarified, making the periwinkle-haired man think.

"Oh, what do you mean by that, Thoma?" The Commissioner asked curiously.

"Well, though I do want to explain, I know it would be far better if she did so herself, my lord." He left it at that, not letting Ayato press further.

...

"Hi."

As you were fixing everything up at the front of the Kamisato Estate, you heard a familiar voice coming from behind you.

You turned around, your eyes meeting another pair that looked pleased to see you. "Y/N, I was hoping to see you again." Ayato said with a smile.

Your breath hitched, you instinctively walked a little away from him.

"Oh, no need to be nervous or anything. I mean, I know I'm kind of an important figure or something, but..." He cleared his throat, chuckling a little. "I hope that I don't scare you away."

You sighed, bowing your head. "Lord Kamisato, I'm just finishing up my work."

"No need for formalities, you can just call me Ayato. After all, I owe you my life." He stated, walking a bit closer to you. "Thank you again, I can't stress that enough."

You couldn't look up at his face, not up his smiling and gentle face, at least not while keeping yourself from bursting to tears, admitting that you're his wife and that you did something that made him resent you.

He looked at your timid form, your hands clasped together tightly. Perhaps he should do something to ease the tension you were feeling.

"Once again, you're welcome, my lord. I..." His ears perked, he heard you sniffle, and he could've sworn that your hand reached up to your face to wipe a tear away.

It's all too familiar for him for some reason.

He has no idea what is happening, yet the sight of the girl crying in front of him just makes him want to coddle her and make her feel better.

"I'm... g-gonna take my leave now." You quickly ran away from him, making Ayato look at your running figure in shock.

He truly did not expect you to be overwhelmed just by talking to him.

And he couldn't explain why, but something in him screamed to run after you and hug you and tell you that everything is okay and that he's sorry.

...Are you... her?

...

Everyday after that encounter, it seems that the periwinkle-haired man was always there by you're side, trying to initiate a conversation.

You've gotten better at containing yourself around him. But still, you'd rather him not be there, you'd rather not be on the brink of heart attack every minute of the day.

Once you realized that he was gonna try and talk to you everytime you go to the estate, you actively tried to spend as little amount of time as possible.

Thoma and Ayaka were not gonna let that happen though.

You were about to leave and take a few days off, but then Thoma approached you. "My lady, Lady Ayaka was hoping that you'd come in tomorrow and help her with the organization of the upcoming festival." He passed on your sister-in-law's message. "Since you've helped my lord with this business before, you might be a great help."

You honestly should have seen this coming. And even if they're making it seem like you had a choice, they knew you'd cave in, they knew you'd come tomorrow and try to help.

They most certainly planned to give Ayato the chance to work on the festival so that you help him with it instead of Ayaka when you came in the next day.

"So... this is my job."

You hated to admit that you were amused with Ayato's reactions to things he had to do.

"Yes, my lov- my lord." He cleared your throat immediately, hoping he didn't catch that mistake. You chastised yourself, for letting your guard down.

"What do we do first?" Though you found his excitement to work again and rediscover what he does for a living very cute and amusing, you stand stiff and focused.

He's not your husband.

You remind yourself constantly as you work on the task at hand.

The cycle continues though, Ayaka and Thoma will make sure that you have a reason to come back to the estate, basically setting Ayato up for at least an hour with you almost everyday.

And you could not even describe how tired you are, tired of constantly being on your guard, tired of pretending to not be his wife.

But this is for him, this is what he wants. He said so himself, you should always remember that.

...

He wants to take you out on a date.

Though Ayato had many conflicting feelings about his situation, and his lost memories, he thought that surely making some nice memories bow would do him some good.

Ayato finds that you are quite shy towards him, never meeting his eyes and always speaking to him in a low and mumbly voice.

He found your mannerisms cute too! Even when you don't look at him much, he often has his eyes on you, seeing how your eyes light up a bit when he says something funny or amusing.

Which is why he asked the help of his sister and his retainer to ask you out on a date around town.

"Y/N, may I talk to you, please?" You heard Ayaka's soft voice call out for you.

You walked up to her. "Umm... Anything I can for you?" Again, awkward interactions because she also doesn't approve of your actions.

"I was thinking, brother really wants to explore around the city, especially since the festival that you both planned starts tomorrow night." You already knew what she was gonna say next.

Thoma stood next to her, "I think my lord feels the most comfortable around you, so why not go with him tonight?"

You sighed, looking at them with a frown. "Guys, please... I-I know what you're doing. Thoma, you heard him! He wants nothing to do with me." Thoma looked at you disapprovingly.

"My lady, Lord Ayato loves you more than anything. Why hurt the both of you like this over things that were said out of angry?"

"Y/N... do you still love my brother?" Ayaka looked at you expectantly, her voice laced with doubt.

You looked at her in disbelief. "...I love him more than anything, words cannot explain just how much." You stated firmly, closing your eyes as a few tears fell from your eyes. "And I know he's better off without me."

Ayaka's hands closed into a fist, "I'm your family too! I love you too! You can't just leave us, not because of a stupid fight!" Tears of her own fell down her face, sobs escaping her mouth.

Thoma held her to make sure she didn't break down to the ground. You stood there in shock, before snapping out of it and cupping Ayaka's face.

"Oh, my dear, I'm sorry." You pulled her into a hug, and she immediately melted into you. "I won't completely vanish. I promise I'll still be here, even if I'm not your sister-in-law anymore." You felt her shake her head on your shoulder.

But she couldn't speak anymore, she merely hugged you and sobbed away. You couldn't help but cry along with her.

...

"Y/N!" You immediately wiped away your tears, hearing Ayato's voice call your name.

Ayaka left you and went back into the house half an hour ago, and you decided to stay for a bit and let some tears out before running off home.

His voice was friendly and cheery, "Thoma and Ayaka said that they talked to you about... Um, you know, tomorrow night..." He scratched the back of his head, acting a bit flustered. "It may seem lame to ask you out using my sister, hehe." He's completely unaware of what happened half an hour prior.

"So what do you say?" He looked at you expectantly.

He's not your husband.

Say no.

"I'll meet you at Uyuu Restaurant at seven."

You wanted to choke yourself to death for being a frustrating and stubborn little bitch.

...

The people of Inazuma aren't aware of what happened to the Yashiro Commissioner, the Kamisato Clan made sure no news ever got leaked. To the eyes of others, it may just look like the Lord of the Kamisato Clan and his wife going out for an evening together, but in reality, everything is just a complicated mess.

And you are extremely tired, so, to finally end everything and let Ayato go, you concocted a plan so that Ayato wouldn't ever want to be with you ever again.

You were gonna be the most infuriating date ever.

Showing up late and putting no effort to how you look, eating a lot, asking for many expensive things, judging his every move, things like that. That should be enough, right?

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

No, it wasn't.

7:10 pm

You walked up to the table Ayato was sitting in. You were in your sleepwear, a purple matching cotton pajamas and top with your hair in a messy bun.

His eyes found yours and he immediately smiled. "You look really cute."

Your mouth dropped, seriously?!

7:20 pm

"I would like Sakura Tempura, a Sashimi Platter, an Egg Roll, and Dango, please!" You said to the waiter, looking at Ayato to see his reaction.

"Is that too much?" You asked him, hoping to provoke him a little.

"Not at all!" He stated with a smile, looking down on his menu. "Your orders are actually quite cheap. How about I order you some sake and more dessert as well?"

"No nee-" You couldn't stop him from ordering those for you too.

This isn't working.

8:00 pm

That festival mask was 10,000 mora. This may be too much, but you had to do something to salvage the plan.

"Ayato, look!" You exclaimed, setting his attention to the mask. It has many intricate designs, and a few gems stuck on it.

"Do you want it? I bet it would look very pretty on you."

'Ohhh... but the mask is really expensive...' You were feeling already feeling sorry.

"Y-Yeah..." You said quietly, but he heard it, taking out a bag of mora and approaching the merchant selling it.

You weren't paying attention, so when you felt him place the mask on your head, just above your face, your cheeks flushed.

"Just as I suspected, gorgeous..."

8:30 pm

This isn't working...

You've been walking and doing all kinds of things in the festival for a while, and the date is going so well. This wasn't supposed to happen!

You even tried being rude to him, saying how he walks too slow, his clothes are uneven, or he... you weren't really good at being rude.

"You walk too slow."

"I apologize if I'm bothering you. If you'll allow it, let me hold your hand so that we stay with each other's pace." You walked around the festival hand in hand for the rest of the date.

"Your clothes are uneven."

"Oh, I can't really see it. Can you fix the uneven part for me?" So then, you were stuck fixing the nonexistent uneven part of his clothes, holding the fabric.... just like when you would fix his clothes for him in the morning back then...

'No... stop that, please.'

Ayato's pleasant self negated every 'bad' thing you did.

He could only be more amused as he saw you very obviously thinking, perhaps of another 'insult' you could throw at him.

You were just too cute.

9:00 pm

He invites you to go to Amakumo Island with him as an ending to your date. Seems he got the whole night planned out... he does that a lot for your dates, which you do find amusing.

...Stop.

Of course, you could only agree, knowing that Thoma and Ayaka would light your butt on fire if you ever left Ayato on his own tonight (a part of your decision maybe because you wanted to spend more time with your husband, but you still didn't have a choice).

You sat at the peek of the small island, looking at the see that reflected the stars in the night. It's a beautiful night.

Ayato sighed, scooting a bit closer to you. When you looked at his face, you could see that it seems to display an expression of contentment.

He turns to look at you, making you immediately straightened your head, trying to make it look like you weren't looking at him just then.

It obviously didn't work as an amused chuckle left his lips.

He's not your husband.

But this is still very nice.

You felt his hand going on to hold yours, and you know that all you've been trying to do that night was get him to not like you, and you've honestly tried and failed to do so.

In that moment, you just gave in, finding it hard to move your hand away from his. You even assured him by lightly squeezing his hand.

This is the most relaxed you felt in weeks. If only things can stay this way.

...

"I'm really glad I met you, Y/N."

...

No, you couldn't hold it anymore.

Slowly, tears started going down your face. The more they fell, the less you could control yourself to stop crying. An overwhelming amount of emotions, blocked by a dam finally broke open, and you finally let it all out.

Ayato's expression changed, becoming shocked as you let out little sobs while trying to wipe your tears away. He saw you try to control your breathing, just like the girl in his dreams, he heard the little whimpers coming out of you, the same he heard from that girl.

You let his hand go, "I'm sorry..." You hiccuped, standing up and immediately running away from him.

"Y/N!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE!" You shouted at him.

"Sometimes, I wish I never met you."

Just like then, you ran back to your home, collapsing on the floor in a fit of whimpers and sobs.

"He's not my husband..." You repeated in your mind. That man you went on a date with wasn't your husband, your husband was the Ayato that said he wished he hadn't met you, that looked at you in anger and shame.

The Ayato you were just with was a person you met a few weeks ago after you saved him.

They aren't the same.

Your husband doesn't love you anymore. He wouldn't ever ask you on a date anymore. He wouldn't say he was happy that he met you.

"He's not my husband..." You did not believe in your own words.

Ayato walked alone through Chinju Forest with a solemn face. He kept thinking back to the look of your face and how you were trying desperately to calm yourself down.

He didn't like the look of your crying face, he could even sense the pain you were feeling as you let whimpers escape your shaking lips. The scene sent needles to his heart.

And just as he thought that it was the perfect date.

Did he do something to make you react that way?

As he was thinking, a glimmering object shone in the corner of his eye, immediately gaining his attention. Ayato looked around, before seeing something on the ground reflecting the glow of the moon.

Leaning down to pick it up, he saw a ring, and as he looked at it longer, he felt a raging headache attack his mind.

He groaned, it wasn't as if that was the only time he got headaches, they were quite frequent.

But he couldn't help but feel some sort of familiarity towards the ring, like he has seen it before.

The ring looked extremely special. He decided to bring it with him and hopefully Thoma might be able to help him find who the owner is.

But the number one thing in his mind right now is you.

He hopes that you're alright.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Ayato head was already aching when he came home to a small box on his bed.

It looks like it has gone through some stuff, it has dents everywhere and it looked like it was thrown around.

Is it for him?

Since it was on his bed, he decides to opens it, finding a piece of paper inside along with an even smaller black box.

"Ayato, I really hope you like this gift! It might not make sense when you first open it, but I have a proper explaination about what it is. I'd like to explain you in person."

The bottom of the paper has the words "I love you," in it, as well as a "From your beloved wife, Y/N".

His breath hitched.

Within the black box, he saw a necklace with a charm of what he can assume to be a constellation.

Ayato took out the ring in his pocket, like his memory has been jogged.

You...

You were wearing a ring that looked like it paired with the ring in his hands now.

As Ayato was planning to hold your hand while you were looking away from him, he noticed a ring on your ring finger.

Perhaps it was just the right fit for that finger instead of your middle, that's why you were wearing it there.

The ring was beautiful though, something he would probably pick out for something special.

When he held your hand, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of your hands together, his eyes especially still focused on your ring.

Maybe you forgot, but you left your wedding ring on when you went out for your date.

"I'd like to explain to you in person."

He wasted no time in taking that offer.

Rushing out of the estate, Thoma immediately stepped in his way.

"My lord, you can't just leave! Especially by yourself. Remember what Lady Ayaka said to you." The blonde blocked his master's path, seeing the Yashiro Commissioner's hurried steps to the estate exit.

Thoma's eyes landed on the box within Ayato's hand, noticing the tight grip on the familiar cover.

Oh...

His green eyes then saw his Lady Ayaka, standing far behind her brother. His mouth parted in disbelief.

Has Ayaka taken matters into her own hands?

Without Ayato noticing, the two's eyes were locked, and then Ayaka gave their retainer a firm nod, signalling for Thoma to let her brother go.

"You don't understand, Thoma! I need to-" Ayato was just about to argue, but his words were cut short when the blonde just gave way for him.

"I understand more than you might think, my lord." Thoma sighs, crossing his arms. "Y/N, she... she lives in Konda Village."

Ayato was shocked to say the least, can Thoma really read him so easily?

His mind was filled with confusion, many unanswered questions. But one remained on top of his priority, and he needed to get to you now.

Without another word, he hurries off into the forest, on his way to the village you resided in. Despite the tiredness, he pushed on to go to you.

Yet Thoma's final words didn't escape his ears.

"You aren't the only one that needs to remember."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Fatigue was spreading all over his body.

But he hoped that he can still make it to you.

He doesn't expect an explanation to be served up to him in a silver platter, given that everything after his accident seems to have been a mess.

He can't fully wrap his head around the situation.

If what he read was true and you're his wife....

If you're the mysterious girl that he was chasing in his dreams....

If you love him and he loves you...

Why would you do this to him?

"Don't go..." His voice was a little playful, but you could sense that there was some sincerity in his words.

You giggled as you packed your clothes for your business trip to Watatsumi Island. "Ayato..." You feel warmth spread through your chest as he hugged you from behind.

"This is my job, as a lady of your clan." His embrace only tightened, stopping your from packing your things. "It's only for two days, my dear."

"Two daysss..." He whined quite dramatically, placing his chin on your shoulder so that you could visibly see his pout. "Who I am suppose to cuddle during bedtime and kiss awake in the morning?"

You sighed in amusement, turning so that you're now facing him. "I promise that when I get back, you can have all the cuddles and kisses you want."

"I want a very exclusive week of you being with me at all times as well."

"Hmmm, why?"

"Because I'm gonna be very deprived in the next two days so you're gonna have to nurture me back to health afterwards." He argued like a child, very unlike him outside of the privacy of your bedroom. You liked having this side of him all to yourself.

"Alright, fine. Now sit down so I can pack properly without interruptions." You said jokingly, pushing him to sit on your bed.

You were able to get through a few more minutes of undisturbed packing, until...

"Don't goooo..."

"Don't go." He whispered into the air, his hurried steps turned to slow walking. This has always been the case since his accident, he gets very tired so much faster than before.

That... memory... that just played in his head...

Was it real?

You and "him"... looked so in love with each other.

"Have you ever thought about an heir?" You stopped in your tracks, hearing the voice of your husband's friend coming from the living room.

"Ahhh, I definitely have thought about it. But I will always consider what my wife wants with this subject." You hear your husbands voice after that.

Eavesdropping may not be very proper and polite, but you couldn't help it. Such a topic never even made it's way to your past conversations.

"Does your wife not want a child?"

You thought about it youself... it would be nice to have a little family with Ayato, with a cute little baby boy or girl to share your love for.

"I honestly don't know, never talked to her about it."

...

When Ayato went into your room for the night, you looked at him intently, much to his surprise.

"Is there something on my face, darling?" He asked, as your gaze never faltered.

You shook your head, then he merely shrugged off and went through his nighttime routine.

Still, his curiousity peaked when he went to lay down with you and you remained looking at him the same way.

"Umm, darling-"

"Yes, I do want a family with you."

Despite his cool and dignified self, Ayato couldn't hide his surprise at your sudden statement. Looking at his expression, you sighed, before doing what was the only thing that could make your husband even more at a lost for words.

You straddled him, sitting on his lap.

"Is... is that okay?" You asked when he didn't give a respond to your statement.

"Yes... please." You couldn't help but giggle, as your sly husband was at a lost for words.

"I would love to have a family with you."

Ayato's head started spinning.

His vision was getting blurry.

He was going to collapse.

Happy...

He looked so happy with you.

Even then, even now, he's happy... with you.

He just doesn't understand why... why you lied to him.

And as he fell on his knees from sheer exhaustion, his memory further gave answers.

"All of this happened because of a stupid fucking package, huh?" You flinched a bit when he cursed, feeling even more pathetic than you were a few minutes ago. It's even worse because it's true, all this did happened because of your package.

"I... I didn't k-know-" Your voice was soft and gentle, yet still full of shame. You sat on the couch with your head hung low.

"What is so fucking important that you had to ruin so much of our work?!" You couldn't answer, you just kept quiet, because to be honest, it wasn't anything important, and you were stupid for ordering it in the first place.

Your husband wiped his face with his hand in frustration, mumbling a bunch of other curse words. You stood up, walking closer to him and reaching your hand out to comfort him.

His hand caught yours, his eyes had finally bore into yours. His teeth almost seem to grind against each other, "You know... sometimes, I just wish...."

"Sometimes I wish I never met you."

All the blurry visions he has seen in his dream, suddenly they become clear.

He held the box tight, as he felt the most painful headache starting to form.

Tears filled his eyes.

He could no longer walk, but he saw... people, they were hurriedly walking to him, and he can faintly hear their worried murmurs.

Those words "he" said, he wishes to take them back down his throat, he wishes to delete the entire scene from existence.

Yet there was nothing he could do but cling on to the memory his brain had for him next.

"Excuse me, sir." He looked up, seeing a girl smile brightly at him, her umbrella covering the rain falling from the sky.

Ayato sat below a tree that barely covered him from the rain before, but he figured that it was better than getting completely soaked. So he was planning to stay there to wait the rain out.

"I noticed that you're kinda stranded here." The girl snickered a little, covering her mouth as she laughed.

Cute. He thought, her smile influenced his lips to do the same.

"Yes, I am quite in a predicament." She offered her hand to him, pulling him up to his feet. "Thank you very much, my lady." He flashed her a calm smile along with his thanks.

"Where are you going anyway? Perhaps I can accompany you so that you don't have to wait for the weather to calm?"

He was about to go back home, but it was still quite a long way away... he decided to take a chance.

"I was about to go for a meal. Though, I find it lonely to be alone during one. So... if you have nothing else to do, perhaps I can treat you to a meal." The girl looked up at him wide-eyed, not expecting to receive such an offer. "As a thank you, miss..." He indirectly asked for the girl's name.

"Y/N." You smiled brightly at him, the scene immediately lifted his mood even more. "And I would love to join you for a meal, sir..."

"Ayato, Kamisato Ayato." You almost let go of the umbrella, but he was quick to catch on, holding your hand that was holding the umbrella steady.

A pink tint exposed themselves on your cheeks, another thing he found cute about you, among many things. "The Yashiro Commissioner?" You questioned, avoiding his gaze.

"Hmm, how about we go to Uyuu Restaurant?" He didn't answer your question, but you were certain that it was him.

Fully letting go of the umbrella, you let him take the lead as you head into the city.

"I was quite enjoying holding your hand." You turned your gaze to him, shocked at his forward comment. His smile was still there on his face, if anything, it turned kind of sly.

Not knowing how to react, you stupidly offered your hand to him. "Umm, okay..." You wanted to immediately slap yourself, yet due to nervousness, your hand remained up for the offer.

'Go down, hand! How can he even hold it when he's holding the umbrella?!' You screamed in your head.

As if listening to your thoughts, the rain came to an immediate stop. And as the man behind you noticed, he closed the umbrella, humming as if he was pleased.

When he was done, he carried it with his other hand, leaving the hand close to yours free to hold.

Ayato slipped his hand into yours. "I appreciate your kindness, my lady."

You smiled, though quite nervous... almost in like a giddy way.

You didn't look at him, hoping he doesn't notice how your hand is shaking. You merely looked up to the stars.

A constellation stuck to your memory.

Ayato sat on the grass, his mind heavy as he held the box with one hand and his head the other.

Despite the unbearable pain... remembering you was nice. So he smiled as tears fell from his eyes.

He doesn't want to forget.

"Look, it's the Yashiro Commissioner!" A worried exclaim, one he could barely hear made him look up to see a bunch of people running to his aid.

"Please, inform Lady Kamisato about the situation." The words he heard last as he fell unconscious.

Mentions (People that have been waiting for 8 months)(I'm sorry): @nasidibakar @kisum9 @kittycasie @ramvuda @the-real-fandom-person @xiaopleasecomehome @lswtamashi @rustybucketofghosts @him3ru @tartagliasmoneybag @eurooki @spicycloudsalad @icarusignite @foxlady99 @mnoxsk and others I couldn't mention for some reason.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Here's Part 3

This is really long because the first one was really short hehe. I really hope you liked it. And yes, I am really sorry for updating so late, and just not uploading in general. :((

I am now very busy, but I try. I love writing despite it taking over my sleep schedule and if only I was faster and more creative, I would have a lot for you guys.

See you when I see you ^-^

Might take months to post again ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact angst #genshin impact fluff #genshin angst #genshin fluff #genshin impact ayato #kamisato ayato angst #kamisato ayato #kamisato ayato fluff #kamisato ayato x reader

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esther-dot · 10 months

Note

i think people vilify harry a little too much lol like yeah he’s an asshole but he’s not an abuser?

So, I didn’t know this but an anon told me the Hound fans/Sansan shippers criticize him which is absurd imo. The Hound threatened Sansa’s life repeatedly, insulted her, and then assaulted her, so I don’t think they have any grounds to object to Harry’s interactions with Sansa which are far less horrifying.

If we're not comparing this to a degenerate and just looking at him as himself, I'm still not much of a fan. He's upset about the match with Sansa, so we can decide not to judge him too harshly for making Sansa cry, but this comment about the mother of his child is just...yikes?

Your bastard daughter Alys, Alayne thought, but what she said was, “That one had a different mother, though.” “Yes. Cissy was a pretty thing when I tumbled her, but childbirth left her as fat as a cow, so Lady Anya arranged for her to marry one of her men-at-arms. It is different with Saffron.” “Saffron?” Alayne tried not to laugh. “Truly?” Ser Harrold had the grace to blush. “Her father says she is more precious to him than gold. He’s rich, the richest man in Gulltown. A fortune in spices.” “What will you name the babe?” she asked. “Cinnamon if she’s a girl? Cloves if he’s a boy?” That almost made him stumble. “My lady japes.” “Oh, no.” Petyr will howl when I tell him what I said. “Saffron is very beautiful, I’ll have you know. Tall and slim, with big brown eyes and hair like honey.” Alayne raised her head. “More beautiful than me?” Ser Harrold studied her face. “You are comely enough, I grant you. When Lady Anya first told me of this match, I was afraid that you might look like your father.”

He lost interest in Cissy because she gained weight, handed the mother of his child off to someone else as a problem to solve, and chased after a prettier girl. He's shallow, and it's a little concerning he not only tells all this to Sansa but then indicates that she isn't as attractive as his new baby mama, so I'm doubtful he'd change his ways once married? Sansa picks up on this and says she'll "be all the spice you’ll want," but is that a fate I want for my girl? To constantly have to vie for her husband's attention, try to entice him all the time to keep him from straying?

The guy is definitely a better option than some people Sansa is shipped with, but with how he spoke of Cissy to someone he doesn't know...would I want Sansa to be married to a man who might belittle her that way? Behind her back? To her face? He's no Hound, he's no Tyrion, but I wouldn't want that for Sansa.

Maybe that sounds like I'm unfairly vilifying him too, anon, but that's where I'm at on Harry!

#dot chat

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masterwords · 1 year

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Okay but one of the team accidentally walking into the room while Derek is feeding Hotch ice chips while he's in hospital.

And they're cute

💕💕💕

I've been sitting on this one for a while and wrote up a few different ideas for how this adorable shit happens, but finally the other day it came to me. And now we have this...it's a hot mess, a chaotic image and the writing quality isn't nearly as good as the picture it paints. Apologies for that. (2.7k words / warnings: gunshot wounds, dog bites, hospitals, canon typical unsub stuff, some sex talk)

Starts out intense, ends soft and squishy. Thank you for sending this in and I'm sorry it takes me for-fucking-EVER to write anything these days. I'd say it's going to get better, be optimistic about all the time I might have someday soon but...I think this is just my new speed. <3

He told Hotch to stop, to stay behind and wait for back-up and the medics. They couldn’t be that far out by now. He told him that he and Reid could do this part on their own. That it didn’t take three Agents to run down a pudgy middle aged man in the woods.

But Hotch was coursing with adrenaline and pain, running on the fumes of anger at being shot, and telling him to stay behind was like talking to a brick wall. A brick wall with anger management problems and he wasn’t about to argue too hard – he was bleeding too. He didn’t exactly have the logical high ground.

He keeps Hotch in his sights the best he can. They’re running like a pack of wolves, Hotch dead center, Reid flanking to the right and Derek to the left. The terrain is rough but not too dangerous except where they have to cross a ravine with a rocky bed. That’s where Reid and Morgan gain the advantage, they cross at narrow shallow places while Hotch and the unsub plod through knee deep ice water. On the periphery Derek watches Hotch slip on some rocks halfway through and the look of pain that flashes over his features says he probably wrenched his ankle on a rock but he keeps going, doesn’t skip a beat. If he can run with a bullet hole in his side, a twisted ankle isn’t about to stop him. Derek slows a little to let the unsub choose his path when he reaches the shore and he watches Hotch close on his heels. He's still a little dangerous, he's got a loaded weapon and he's got a girl they need to find. They could just shoot him but they might never find the victim that way. Hotch is calling the shots and he wants a clean take down, no weapons unless necessary. Even though he's already taken a hit, he still says clean. By the book. They're not taking any chances.

A warmth spreads in his groin, poorly timed reaction to his boyfriend being made of steel. Being so fucking intense that it's hard in the field not to find himself turned on by Hotch’s resolve and his refusal to give up. His eyes flick back to the unsub, Tim Connor, and though the throbbing in his injured leg is gaining in strength the further he goes, he speeds up his pursuit.

It’s not that he thinks Hotch is hot because he’s bleeding out or anything, and god if he had to explain this to his therapist she might really have some words for him about what this job has done to him...but something about the way Hotch is running full speed through the damn woods with a bullet in his side is a distraction that Derek can’t afford to indulge. It’s just that...Hotch is hurt and he can't seem to think about anything else with any clarity. For all intents and purposes he is running and dying at the same time, and the latter will catch up to him eventually if they don’t get him help, but right now he is running and showing no signs of stopping. He’s so damn strong, his features set grim and serious. Derek knows it must hurt, he’s been shot before. But Hotch won’t stop until they get their guy or he dies trying and there is something very sexy about that. Something in the way he refuses to give up, to lay down, to even mention that he needs a break. His strength is a beacon and Derek runs toward it. And being turned on by it is a hell of a lot less distracting than being worried about it, which is the only other place to take this mess of feelings.

They've had this talk before. Hotch isn't immune to it, either. Watching Derek kick in a door or run down an unsub has an effect on him...he's only human. Hazard of the job maybe. If he wasn't in incredible pain, he'd probably be thinking the same thing right now watching Derek run down Connor like a lion.

But the wound in Hotch’s side burns, the pain is unrelenting as he runs through the thick underbrush. He’s running and gritting his teeth against the constant barrage of pain. His feet are wet, pants soaked up to the knees with freezing water, but the blood that sticks his shirt to his side is warm.

They’re all gaining on Connor as the man loses steam. He’s not built for this kind of running and his only hope is that the knows these woods better than the three of them and he reaches whatever he’s running for before they reach him. If he manages that, they’re screwed. One of them is bound to reach him in time, before he gets there, before Hotch collapses from blood loss. He’s sure of it.

Derek watches the way Hotch runs, his long strides not deterred in the least by the deep red that blossoms and spreads over the expanse of his suit. He’s going to bitch about that later, this is his favorite suit. Now it’s got holes ripped through it and that stain isn’t ever coming out.

They hadn’t been wearing their vests – this guy was a witness, that’s what they thought. What they were told. Just going to talk to a witness, but then that witness had a dog that ripped into Derek’s shin while its owner tore a hole through Hotch’s abdomen right beneath his ribs with a .38 special. He was a bad shot and Hotch was quick, it didn’t seem like he hit anything major it just hurt like a bitch and bled twice as bad. In and out, Derek watched the bullet smash into a tree not far behind Hotch. At least there was that, he wasn’t running around with molten metal inside of him. Still, it burned. That was the worst part, the hot metal searing through the flesh and the flames that erupted in all of the nearby nerve endings. It was embers embedded in his flesh, smoldering just below his ribs.

It was Reid got there first. He was faster, operating with no injuries will do that for a body. His stride was as long as Hotch’s at least but Hotch had already started to slow some though he didn’t look like he’d realized it yet. Reid saw that he was close enough to take a chance and he slammed into the guy head down shoulder first like a football player, knocking the earth right from beneath his feet. Connor went flying and the force of the impact smashed both he and Reid into the ground. The scuffle that ensued was the part Reid had been concerned about – he wasn’t strong enough to overpower the other man, he just had the element of surprise on his side when he took him down.

“Nice tackle, kid!” Derek shouts, turning on the last reserves of his speed to sprint and help Reid get the guy in cuffs. Connor was realizing quickly that he could overpower Reid easily and was halfway to doing it when Derek finally got there.

Connor was about to understand that while Reid may have lacked some in strength, Derek did not. And when he drops his knee into the small of Connor’s back and wrenches his arms behind him, the guy gives up the fight. Which is smart, because Derek is pissed. His leg aches where the dog had made a chew toy out of him. It made him angry more than it hurt, though, and the way he ground his knee into Connor’s spine made that loud and clear. He’s mad about the dog, and he’s mad about the hole this guy put in his boyfriend. “You really put that shoulder to him. Wish you’d hit him a little harder though, asshole’s still breathin’.”

“Thanks,” Reid gasps with a smile, disarming the unsub while Derek tightens the cuffs. He tosses the gun and knife to the side and watches as Hotch collects them, one hand to grab both of them while the other grips the gaping hole in his chest. Blood pools between his fingers and he barely seems to notice. “You okay Hotch?”

“I’ve been better,” he replies with a heavy sigh. Breathing is taking a little more effort than it should after a run like that. “I’ll make it.” His hands are shaking uncontrollably and his knees are jelly but he plays it off well, stalking toward Derek to take a peek at his leg. “We’ve got to get you to the hospital. That’s an infection waiting to happen.”

“Hope that leg falls off!” Connor spits and Hotch looks away while Derek gives him a heavy kick to the ribs.

“Seems fine to me,” he mumbles and laughs, but it sounds weak to Hotch’s ears. Far away.

“You should sit down,” Hotch says as his vision narrows to a pinprick and he squints as if that’ll help him hear better what Derek says next.

“Yeah. Right. Says the guy with a hole in his damn side.”

Hotch wakes up in a hospital bed in a shared room with an old man who groans and complains of stomach pain attended to by a woman with deep wrinkles and a stern frown. She pulls the privacy curtain around them when she sees Hotch wake, like he’s going to be entertained somehow by their misery. He isn’t interested in the least. He’s a lot more concerned that he doesn’t remember getting to the hospital, and he’s alone. That part is actually okay once the shock of it wears off. He prefers it that way, the team just usually doesn’t. He’s shirtless, his torso exposed though there isn’t much skin that isn’t covered in bandages. His skin feels hot and tight around the wound and a small speck of red sits atop the fresh white gauze. Blood on snow, he thinks. It reminds him of winters in the forest hunting rabbits with his grandfather.

He hears the click of crutches coming closer before he sees Derek enter, his leg bandaged from the knee down. He’d been on the phone with Jessica, letting her know they’d be home late and giving her the low down. It was Jess that insisted he take the ice that’s rattling and clicking in the cup he grips with his teeth so he can operate the damn crutches. As soon as Derek told her what happened she jumped down the WebMD rabbit hole, a part of her personality that grated on Derek’s last nerve. He rarely said anything, it was how she stayed connected while they were out here risking their lives. She couldn’t stop that but she could help put them back together. So while they stitched up the last of his dog bite and bandaged his leg, he listened to her rattle off every bullet point WebMD had about blood loss. She said she’d save the statistics about infection and dog bites for when he got home, but he assured her that Reid would take care of it for her on the plane.

“It says he needs to drink extra water,” she said with an air of superiority Derek doesn’t care for. He’s usually able to smile and nod but the truth was, he was exhausted and in pain and concerned about getting Hotch home. In the field it’s easy enough to ignore this type of thing, when the case is on the line, but now that it’s done they’re just left with recovery and that part gets tricky.

“Reid says they’ve got him on an IV drip,” he points out. “I’m sure that’s for hydration.”

“So he can’t drink water too?”

He assured her that it was taken care of, but she wasn’t placated by that. She kept on nagging until he insisted they were done bandaging him up and he was going to go see Hotch. “We’ll be home soon. Don’t wait up, okay? We’re fine.”

“Give him water.”

“Jess,” Derek groaned with a huff. “I’m gonna show you exactly where you can shove that…” but she hung up before he could finish the sentence. It’s still boiling his blood when he enters the room Hotch is holed up in, the privacy curtain pulled around him now too. When Reid was in there, the room was wide open. Things change quickly and he’s thankful for the small bit of privacy that turquoise curtain would give them.

“You’re awake,” he mumbles, the plastic cup in his teeth shaking and rattling the contents while he tries to talk around it. Ice, a whole cup of ice. He knows Hotch well enough to know he’ll prefer that to water anyway, he probably hasn’t eaten much of anything and if that water hits his empty stomach it’ll make him feel sick. Sicker than he probably already does. “Thought you might be thirsty when you finally decided nap time was over.”

“How long was I out?”

“You passed out in the ambulance and then they sedated you so they could do their business. You got a lot of stitches, you definitely win this time.”

“How long?” he asks again, a little irritated. Derek never answers the part of the question he wants the first time. It’s a small thing but right now it’s grating.

“Three hours, give or take. Connor is booked in, he squealed like a pig once he was chained in the interrogation room. Soon as you’re all fixed up we’re blowin’ this popsicle stand.”

He tosses his crutches to the side and limps toward the empty chair beside Hotch’s bed. “Stop looking at me like that. I don’t need those damn things. They told me I shouldn’t put weight on it or I’ll bust some of the stitches but I’m not hobbling around on them. It’s bullshit. You thirsty?”

Hotch nods and tries to shift in the bed but he’s tangled in the IV tubes and sheets so he doesn’t get far. The movement sends a wave of pain crashing through his rib cage and makes him nauseous. He closes his eyes and presses his forehead into his hand, willing it to pass. Derek just sits and watches, he knows better than to make any sudden moves or to try and touch him when he’s like this.

“Ice,” Derek says after a minute, after Hotch’s features soften and his muscles unfurl. Hotch opens his mouth expectantly and smiles at the feel of the ice on his lip, the way it slides over his warm parched tongue. “More?”

Hotch nods and lets Derek feed him more. He’s got a spoon, a little plastic thing dwarfed by his hands, and he uses it to fish little bits of shaved ice out of the cup and set it against Hotch’s lower lip. Between each bite, Derek kisses him, little pecks and he tastes the icy residue happily. He’s thirsty too. In more ways than one. “You’re gorgeous,” he says, giving him more ice. “Hair all messy, smellin’ like sweat and cedar, sleepy eyes…you look just like when we went on vacation.”

“Atlantic City?” Hotch asks, greedily accepting more ice. He’s parched. He thinks he could probably guzzle a gallon of water and still feel thirsty.

“Yeah. Napping in that hotel room overlooking the ocean, waking up in the middle of the afternoon not knowing what day or time it is…”

“We should go back. When I have less holes in me.”

“You got it, baby.” They’re due more than a little time off and he knows it. He’ll make it happen.

“How’s your leg?” Hotch asks around a chunk of ice that crunches between his teeth. Derek shrugs.

“It’s okay. It’s not gonna fall off, I’m sure Connor will be disappointed in that.”

Derek digs around for more ice, lost in the repetition of feeding him and kissing him. It’s as good a way to pass the time as anything.

“Ohhhhhh…” Penelope gushes, startling them both. Derek had forgotten that the team said they were going to meet them there, that they’d head right to the airport once Hotch was discharged. Derek turns around to see all of them crowding doorway, peeking around the edge of the curtain. Penelope, JJ, Spencer, Rossi, Blake...they’re all there and they’re all looking at them like they’re watching adorable cat videos on YouTube, not two grown men full of antibiotics, morphine and stitches. It’s more than a little embarrassing. “You guysssssssssssssssssssss.”

“Woman,” Derek warns but Hotch shakes his head and squeezes Derek’s hand, dragging his attention back to where it belongs. He’s the one that got shot, after all. They can all wait their turn.

“Ice?” he asks pitifully and Derek complies. Hotch doesn’t seem to care that the team are watching him. Getting shot softens his edges a little. Derek pokes around in the cup, digs out a spoonful of ice and sets it on Hotch’s tongue before giving him the obligatory kiss and they do their best to ignore all the “awwwwws” that rise to a symphony in the doorway.

Derek, without turning to look, reaches behind him and pulls the curtain closed the rest of the way to block their view. The rest of the show is private.

#aaron hotchner #derek morgan #criminal minds #hotchgan #mortch #fanfiction #spencer reid #bau team

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the-firebird69 · 3 months

Video

youtube

Marilyn Manson - The Beautiful People

And I was saying I admit Marilyn Manson when he looked like this and he only sang a few songs and this is one of them but this looks like my version it sounds the same but doesn't look the same and I'm sure I'll be doing concerts and stuff and people will wanna know what's going on with it now there's a lot of stuff going on we had an argument and stuff about hardware and do a bunch of talks that happened after they kept saying we're dangerous people and need you to back off and I wouldn't know he's not stupid and he knows I have a history of doing it I think they're having me do it and you'll see how it's working out it's like a giant Jesus Christ inside Saturn and shallow of them several of them around the world and our friends is about 1000 points of light. message Martin infects the mac proper too and we're not doing well with it we're going down and say the plan is far too aggressive it looks like a very well thought out plan this is very difficult and we don't have all these major components MMA is that the answer is I get from them these mac proper sound like they're insane then I try to verify their identity as much as I can and it seems authentic and they're blaming us this is true slavery folks and a friend here is suffering too although he's massively powerful he's not really hurting us that much. Is trying to tell us stuff to teach us saving people even me too often to mention like today he is telling me not saving me he said someone is earmarking you. There's all this other jazz all this other talk but their earmarking him so I said to figure out what it meant 'cause he doesn't know. And it would mean to possibly take me out but maybe not publicly. And it might have something to do with Iwo Jima like like to put the flag there and turn around and we had gained it and later lost it but still kind of control it my mind was boggled I had to verify it I told Mac Daddy and he says you're reading the code right and he's always doing it. And we know what that is and he does And we know what that is and he does too but this kids in the massive state of Hell and we heard yeah Florida they started la this is if you don't have money here it's a terrible place to retire. And it's a nightmare OK this is awful so I saw it and I flipped out and said there's gotta be more and he said yeah you can shot again in California. And I piece that together and says I get shot more aggressively. And it could be permanent so that's when you go to California with a girl in your heart and it's coming up sort of frightened but he says be out there to welcome us and thank us for the murders and stuff of some of them and that's what it really is.

trump

and that took a long time. long time. and some helped but yeh they see it now. It's very crucial to get this outThor Freya

Olympus

Hera Zes

#youtube

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wine-dark-and-honey-tongued · 1 year

Text

Waaaaaaaa lots to catch up on!! It was a bonkers week at work tbf but still here! We! Go!

19. Share a poem/lyrics/quote that reminds you of Aphrodite.

No lyrics or poems come to mind but the line "I, who am sunk in dreams" from the diary of Ana's Nin springs to mind. Idk it's just so.... evocative I can't help but think of aphrodite.

20. In honor of the new moon, share something new you'd like to bring into your relationship with Aphrodite.

I'd like to be a bit more proactive with offerings, even with my low energy and forgetfulness I know there are things I could do in honor of her at the very least.

21. Share a UPG you have about Aphrodite.

Ok so I'm 1000% convinced Aphrodite showed up to my job once a few months ago and ordered some fries. This girl came in that was just ethereal with pink dreads and ribbons in her hair and all kinds of glittery gold and pearl jewelry. She wore perfume that smelled like warm vanilla but like, the real stuff not that fake shit that smells too sweet. There was just something about her energy that screamed Aphrodite to me and I think about it often.

22. Which member of Aphrodite's retinue do you connect to or want to learn more about?

I'm not really familiar enough with anyone to give a confident answer.

23. Which of Aphrodite's lovers is your favorite and why?

I don't really want to say favorite but Adonis has piqued my interest (even if only because of a little sub-arc in the Sailor V manga)

24. Do you have a favorite way to communicate with Aphrodite? If not, which methods of communication are you interested in trying?

Ah, I just kinda pray at the moment. I've thought about doing divination (tarot, pendulums, scrying, etc) or something but I don't trust myself to separate what I want to hear from what actually needs to be heard, if that makes sense.

25. What was something you learned about Aphrodite that was shocking?

Not shocking, but I was kinda surprised to learn about her warlike aspects (Areia) (sorry if I misspelled that)

26. What do you appreciate about Aphrodite?

Everything, her patience, her kindness, her multitudes

27. Share an experience you've had with Aphrodite.

I remember a couple years ago I went to the sea during the off season (October, I think) and I remember standing on the beach watching as the waves surged up towards me and seemed to tug at my feet, threatening to pull me in. All I could think about was Aphrodite drawing me to her.

28. What is one question you'd like to ask Aphrodite?

Nothing comes toind right now, but that could be because I'm filling out so many prompts at once so my brain is a bit frazzled.

29. How has your opinion of Aphrodite changed since you began worshipping her?

I've definitely gained a newfound respect for her as a multi-faceted figure with just as much depth and diversity as anyone else. She's no longer just a shallow, vain caricature of a goddess in my mind but the real deal.

And to finish things off, 30. How do you want your relationship with Aphrodite to look in the future?

I hope to have a stronger connection, I want to do more with my offerings and maybe write some proper prayers or hymns, I think I might even like to be a devotee.

#aphrodite #aphrodite april #aphrodite worship #aurelia muses #hellenic polytheism #30 days of aphrodite

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thefanficmonster · 4 years

Text

Love For The Faceless

Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.

Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.

“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.

I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.

My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.

My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.

Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.”

“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“

I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.

“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.

“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.

“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.

“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.

“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.

“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“

I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”

Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.

“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”

* * *

The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.

“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”

In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’

Rae’s POV

As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.

I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”

The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger!

Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at.

Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black.

I think I know who it belongs to.

Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”

“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.

I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”

There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.

“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!

“Listen here you...“

“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.

I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.

“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“

I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”

“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“

“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.

My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me.

“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can��t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.

“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.

“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.

He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios

#corpse #corpse husband #corpsehusband #husband #corpse husband fanfic #corpse simp #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x reader #x reader #reader #request #requests open

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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years

Text

small world ~ corpse husband

word count: 2053

request?: yes!

“Can I get a Corpse x fem reader where reader an corpse are both streamers and they meet each other for the first time and realize they used to know each other as kids? I know Corpse has said that he didn’t have many friends when he was younger so maybe have it where reader was someone that was really nice to him? Sorry for the long request and thank you if you do it! 😊🖤”

description: he never would’ve thought that the new addition to their friend group would be someone from his past

pairing: corpse husband x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Hey Corpse,” Karl said. Corpse hummed in response, focused on the drawing he was doing for their Jackbox game. “(Y/N) is also from San Diego. Do you know her?”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Karl, San Diego is pretty big. We’re not bound to know one another. Besides, just because he lives here doesn’t mean he grew up here.”

“I did grow up in San Diego actually,” Corpse said. “I don’t think we would’ve known each other though. Even if we happened to be in the same area, I didn’t talk to many people and I dropped out in the seventh grade.”

“I was, regrettably, popular in school,” (Y/N) added.

“Regrettably?” Karl asked.

“Yeah. Looking back, I hated being popular. I hated it when I was popular even. My friends were mega jerks and made fun of everyone, even me sometimes. I would try and make them be nice but they just let the popularity go to their heads. I haven’t spoken to any of them since we graduated. There was this sort of outcast in middle school I used to have a crush on. I tried to be friends with him, but he preferred to keep to himself. I always wished I had been friends with him because I feel like I would’ve been so much happier. I never saw him again either. I wonder whatever happened to him.”

Something about her story triggered a memory in Corpse. The year before he dropped out, there was a girl in is class who was always nice to him and tried to talk to him. He brushed it off as another way he was being made fun of. When it kept up, though, he realized she was likely being genuine. He still kept his distance, but he found himself gaining some feelings for her as well. When he dropped out, he never heard from her again.

I wonder where she is now, Corpse thought to himself. Man, what was her name?

Corpse accidentally gasped, drawing the attention of everyone in the Discord call.

“You good Corpse?” George asked.

“Y-Yeah,” Corpse responded. “Just uh...just realized I fucked up my idea a bit. No big deal, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

The game started prompting for everyone to show what they had created. Taking the opportunity of not having to speak, Corpse went to Google (Y/N)’s YouTube channel. She had come into the game as a friend of Karl’s and Corpse hadn’t heard of her channel, but now somethings were starting to click together.

The first thing that popped up with the top Google Image for (Y/N)’s channel name. It was a beautiful girl laying in a garden of flowers with a wide smile on her face. Corpse sucked in a breath as he realized that the girl in the picture looked familiar.

“Corpse,” came Karl’s voice, snapping Corpse out of his trance. “It’s your turn.”

“Sorry,” Corpse said. “I was distracted.”

The rest of the stream Corpse felt like he was in a daze. He continued to play the games and forced out laughs when he realized someone was making a joke. Every time (Y/N) spoke, he felt his heart flutter with excitement. He couldn’t believe that after all these years he had finally been reunited with her. And what was better was that she had actually admitted to having feelings for him too!

Don’t get too excited, he thought to himself. She said she used to have a crush on you. That was a very long time ago.

He tried not to seem too eager when the stream finally ended. He waited for someone else to leave the call first before he exited out of it himself. He waited another few minutes before messaging (Y/N) directly on Discord.

hey. it was fun playing with you tonight. weird request, but can we voice call maybe? just the two of us?

Corpse didn’t expect her to respond any time soon. It was late in San Diego, like nearly 3am late. Most people were going to bed by now. She had mentioned once during the stream that she was starting to get sleepy. He figured she’d see it in the morning and either call, or just ignore the message.

To his surprise, near seconds later, she was calling him.

“Hey stranger,” she said when he answered. “Long time, no speak. You must’ve missed my voice a lot, huh?”

Corpse chuckled. “Exactly, I really did.”

“Makes sense. I do have the best voice on the internet.” She laughed this time. It sounded like such a perfect sound. “For real though, is everything alright? Why did you want to call?”

How did he even tell her? Hey, so you know that outcast you liked? It was me! Surprise!

No, he couldn’t say that. Maybe she wouldn’t even remember, or maybe she wouldn’t believe him. He had to figure out some way to bring it up.

“I kind of wanted to talk more about your popular school days,” he said, trying to keep his voice light and teasing. “It’s not every day I meet a streamer who’s in my own area code. It would be nice to get to know someone who isn’t like a five hour drive away.”

“Oh!” She seemed excited by this response. Her excitement was almost contagious. “Okay, where should I start? The shitty friends or the shallow popularity?”

Corpse chuckled. “You pick.”

She talked for nearly an hour about her high school experiences with her popular friend group. Despite how much she despised being popular, (Y/N) still spoke with a light tone in her voice. She tried to bypass a lot of the more negative details and speak only of the good experiences she went though, which was nice to hear.

Corpse nearly jumped with excitement when she began to talk about middle school unprompted.

“It really was the last good years I had in school,” she admitted. “All my friends, the ones who went on to be super popular with me, they were nice then. Annoying, but all middle schoolers are. We didn’t care about popularity or social rankings. We were just...we were just kids. We didn’t even really know the difference between ‘losers’ and ‘popular’, which was why it was so easy for me to talk to that guy that I liked at the time. My friends weren’t mocking me for having feelings for an outcast.”

“You said you never saw that guy again,” Corpse said. “Do you know what happened to him?”

She sighed heavily. “No, I don’t. He just stopped showing up before we hit high school. I thought he moved, but I knew his mom and I saw her around everywhere. I don’t even remember his name anymore to look him up. Wherever he is, though, I hope he’s doing better. Even if they weren’t sucked completely into their popularity at the time, my friends and the other kids were still awful to him.”

“I feel that,” he said. “I wasn’t exactly the most liked kid in school. Before I dropped out I didn’t even have any friends.”

“That’s awful.”

“It wasn’t too bad. I’m not really a friendly person I don’t think. I’ve worked on it since that time, but the thought of trying to maintain a social relationship still gives me anxiety from time to time. There was one girl who tried to be friends with me the year before I dropped out though. She was nice.”

“What happened to her?”

Corpse smiled to himself. She would figure it out soon, he knew she would.

“I just didn’t hear from her after I dropped out,” he responded. “I guess that’s mainly my fault. I never reached out to her or anything, but I barley knew her name. Just her first time, and she never gave me a number or anything. I couldn’t look her up online. Maybe we just weren’t destined to be together.”

“I don’t know about that. Maybe you two were just right people, wrong time. Maybe you’ll cross paths again and finally have that opportunity to be friends with her again.”

“Maybe you’ll cross paths with that guy from your middle school, too.”

There was a prolonged silence. Corpse wondered if (Y/N) was starting to put the pieces together. He could barley even hear her breathe. The longer she went, the more worried he was becoming. He was about to say something when she finally spoke again.

“I made him a Valentine,” she said, her voice soft. “Special handmade one. He was the only one I gave it to. It had some really badly written, sappy poem in it. I watched him open it and...I really think he got emotional while reading it. Of course, he’d never tell anyone that.”

Corpse had gotten emotional over the Valentine (Y/N) had given him. It was the first real Valentine he had ever gotten. It wasn’t one of the generic ones that everyone gave out to every classmate so no one felt excluded. It was made from the heart, and that fact alone touched his. Like (Y/N) said, though, he didn’t let anyone know how emotional he had gotten. It would’ve just been more mental ammo for them to use to bully him.

He quickly got up from his chair, racing to his room where he had his box of memories shoved in his closet. It was little things from throughout his life that he kept in a shoebox. Whenever he felt particularly down or depressed, he would open the shoebox and look at all the things that made him smile.

At the very top of the box was (Y/N)’s Valentine.

He went back to his computer and took a picture of the Valentine using his phone.

“That sounds really nice,” he said as he went into the Discord app on his voice. “It must’ve meant a lot to him that you put so much time and effort into a handmade gift.”

“I don’t know if it did. I never got to ask him what his reaction was.”

“Oh, I’d bet anything he was happy.”

He sent the picture through Discord and waited for (Y/N) to open it. The silence between them felt deafening. The seconds felt like they had slowed to hours. He wondered what (Y/N)’s reaction would be. Maybe she’d be weirded out by the fact that Corpse kept the Valentine, or by the fact that Corpse was the middle school crush in general.

What if she’s upset that this is who I am now? he asked himself. What if her crush was just a middle school thing, and the moment you dropped out she moved on?

“I knew it.”

Corpse couldn’t help the smile on his face when he heard the slight excitement in (Y/N)’s voice.

“I knew it was you!” she continued. “Well, I didn’t know know, but when you asked me to call you I had a bit of a suspicion. I can’t believe it...it’s actually you!”

“It is me,” he confirmed. “And it’s you.”

“Small world we live in, huh?”

“Yeah, small world.” Do you still like me? Did you ever stop? Do you know that your kindness stuck with me for so long?

The silence returned. Corpse was starting to get sick of it, but he didn’t know how to fill the void between them. When he heard her yawn, he realized how late it had gotten. “I’ll let you go, you sound tired.”

“We just had this breakthrough and you’re asking me to sleep?!”

Corpse chuckled. “You have to sleep eventually, (Y/N). It’s like 3:30am, normal people sleep at this hour.”

“I am offended you would think I’m anywhere near normal.” She yawned again, cutting off her short lived rant. “But you’re right, I am tired. Listen...promise me you’ll answer when I call tomorrow. I...I’d really like to catch up. Maybe...to pick up where we left off.”

“Okay,” Corpse said, then realized that wasn’t really a response. “I promise. I’ll be waiting by the phone the moment I open my peepers.”

(Y/N) giggled. “I’ll be sure to call you the moment I open mine.”

“Goodnight (Y/N). Sleep tight.”

“Goodnight Corpse underscore Husband.”

kind of a bad ending, but i wasn’t really sure where else to go with it as i wrote it. sorry! :(

#corpse husband #corpse husband imagine #corpse #corpse imagine #corpse x reader #request #imagine #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

life is not a shoujo manga

— Kaibara believes that his life with you could be a shoujo manga. Why? One, he’s in love with you and two, you work at a maid cafe he is prohibited from visiting. But nothing happens in life without doing what you’re told NEVER to do.

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pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, modern!au, reader is a sex worker, maid cafe but make it kinky, dubcon (spoiler: reader just services kaibara despite his embarrassment), semipublic sex, master and maid dynamic/kink, blow job, sex on a table, marking

word count: 4,570

a/n: this is for the bnharem collab for sex work lmaoooo, this was hella inspired by maid-sama,,, kinda sorta, not really, but hey!!!! check out the rest of the masterlist and I hope you enjoy this!!! happy birthday to me :D

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Kaibara Sen was pretty confident in the fact that he was not in a shoujo manga.

There are, however, some claims that he can unashamedly admit make him believe that he might be in one. Here is his gathered evidence:

1. He had a crush on a girl (you) that was practically written to be nothing more than a crazy, hopeful fantasy.

Explanation:

Kaibara has known you for his entire life, but you, the airheaded, mind focused on only those around you, had never noticed him. You were bright, intelligent, witty, with blazing eyes and a curling smile, you were an enigma in the world, and he was a bystander just waiting for a day when you would notice him. Popular as you were, Kaibara knew he stood no chance at ever playing a role in your life. There was no room for his initial stoic personality, the way that he walks away from you as you near because, god forbid, you see his ears tinge pink.

All in all, you never knew he existed, and his crush would have to remain one-sided and unknown. But you see, reason number two is yet a testament to his denied belief that he lives a shoujo manga.

2. He had gained your attention one day by catching you one day when you tripped off a brick wall.

Explanation:

Talk about falling into the arms of the one you’re destined for! Kaibara had been walking home from the end of his first year of high school, and as he turned a corner, there came a yell and he looked up to see a body plummeting towards him. With adrenaline coursing through his veins and superhuman strength supplying him the strength and ability to catch you, Kaibara caught you bridal style. He held you there for a few moments, the air suddenly blowing and the blossoming cherry blossoms swirling with the winds. He swore your eyes brightened at the moment you locked eyes.

3. He had a (former) love rival.

Explanation:

Pretty self-explanatory, Kaibara would admit. Before his introduction to you, another male student in your class had been essentially building up his intentions to ask you out. Kaibara wasn’t one to step on people’s toes; he respected people too much and often just didn’t want to spend energy where he thought was unnecessary. But you were never unnecessary. Kaibara wanted you and found himself clashing heads with this other love rival, but he seemed to have won the moment Kaibara was accepted into the same university as you.

4. You were working at a maid cafe.

Explanation:

Kaibara did not have an older sister for no reason. Maid-Sama and Ouran Highschool Host Club were constantly on repeat when he was growing up! Because of this selected memory and application, he believed that time and time again, whenever maids were involved — or any type of service job — it was shoujo material.

Four points and that was four more points than most romances, and Kaibara was convinced that he was in line to become the main star of a real-life adaption of some obscure shoujo manga. All he had to do now was seal the deal and get you, his now best friend of nearly four years, to fall in love with him.

“I have work tonight,” you sigh from your place on Kaibara’s bed, your face twisted in a dissatisfied pout, feet kicking a bit on the mattress.

“Call out,” Kaibara simply replied, his head resting upon yours as you both watched an old All Might film. “I don’t understand why the maid cafe is open so late anyways. Who’s even awake and wanting to go out?”

You chuckle at his words, fingers tapping on your thigh — as they do when you’re a bit nervous.

“It’s a cafe for foreigners and people who are up late,” you repeat the same line you always say when Kaibara asks why you would go in so late. “It works out, and it pays well.”

“How long is your shift tonight?”

“Ten until three.”

Kaibara groans, “that’s rough.”

You snicker a bit in unknown irony, “you have no idea.”

Time passes, and Kaibara realizes that it’s nearly nine-thirty by the time you pull away from the small mirror on Kaibara’s desk (he bought it so that you could do your makeup in his room), and he looks at you in your beautiful form. You looked ethereal in the makeup, big eyes, and painted pretty lips. You turned to look at him, a grand grin painting your lips, and for whatever reason, a spoof of unspoken for confidence, Kaibara feels himself speaking before he can stop himself.

“Go on a date with me? Next weekend?”

You froze, before chuckling, lips splayed in a lazy grin, “you’d want to date a maid?”

“Undoubtedly.”

Kaibara watched as you flustered a bit, teeth tugging and tearing into your lower lip as you shook your head. “You’re a dork, Sen,” you push back a strand of hair as you stand up, “but let me think about it? As much as I love the idea of potentially being your girlfriend, I need to think about how you would feel about my job.”

And Kaibara smiled despite himself, his mind thinking about how sometimes shoujo protagonists often deny their own feelings at first. Not that his life was a shoujo manga anyways.

“I can do that.”

You laugh, the sound pretty and light on his ears, and you shake your head. Kaibara warmed at the sound and stood up too, already knowing that it was time for you to leave.

“Alright, but I must leave you now, my eternal love,” you grin, speaking with a mock accent. Your arms open for your goodbye hug he has since been accustomed to giving you when you both went separate ways. “I bid thee well when I’m away for the week.”

Ah yes, you would be gone for an entire week on account of a school trip you were taking.

“I do not know how I may live without you at my side, but I will try,” Kaibara spoke back with a low accent, too, his smile hidden in your neck as he hugged you near. “Have a good shift, and be safe on your trip.”

“Obviously!”

Two things about your job besides the obvious (that it was a maid cafe) that Kaibara knew.

1. You made a lot of money there.

He wasn’t all too sure as to why. He’s been to a maid cafe before and has definitely been called Kaibara-sama by pretty-faced females in French maid costumes. He knew that it was a popular place for otaku men and foreigners, but he also knew that pay range-wise, it wasn’t that much better than a typical waitress job.

2. Under no circumstances should he, or anyone for that matter, follow you to work or try to see you while you worked.

This made sense to Kaibara even if he didn’t particularly agree. There was no denying that he wanted to see you in a maid costume, he’d be a liar if he said otherwise, but he realized how embarrassing it could be for you. The fact that he knew where you worked was good enough for him.

Kaibara sighed, his body collapsing onto his bed, and he pulled out his phone. He checked the time on his phone and smiled, seeing that at this point, you were already at work because you sent a text saying that you had arrived. A small notification warning him that his phone was about to die pinged on his screen, and he frowned, hand reaching for his charger.

But instead of the white cord, his hand grasped onto the rose gold charging cable he knew was yours. You needed the charging cable; you were leaving on a trip basically right after work! Kaibara’s mouth twisted, weighing his options in his head. He knew that you had no other charging cables; you had a knack for breaking them without meaning to.

Shaking his head, he stood up.

This was about your charger for your phone.

It would be okay! He would simply step foot into the maid cafe, hand your coworker (he was hopeful he would see you) your charger, and leave! He wouldn’t stay! Nope! Not at all.

Kaibara nodded at his resolution and pocketed your charger before turning on his heel and marching out of his room.

It took a bit to get to the cafe.

Fushi’s Maid Cafe is what it was called.

Its hours of operation were quite weird, at the very least in Kaibara’s opinion. On its website, it said that it was open between 11 am and 5 pm, a reasonable range for its demographic; however, there were many times in which you would go in much later in the night. You were in a 10 pm until 3 am shift after all.

It was currently midnight as the trains were down for the night, and Kaibara had resolved to walk a near hour to drop off your charger. He didn’t really mind, especially if he sees you in that costume.

‘No!’ Kaibara thought, ‘you’re in a shoujo manga, not a hentai!’

He frowned, remembering to continue to claim that he was not living in a shoujo manga, and strode to the door. Confidence in every step, his game plan being repeated time and time again.

Kaibara swung open the door, readying himself to hear the onslaught of a chorus of ‘Welcome home, Master!’ but instead… oh…

He froze.

“F-Fukuda-samaaaaa!”

He blinked.

And as the door closed behind him, the most fucked out, blissful voice that he had only heard in his wettest of dreams called out, “Welcome home, Kaibara-sama…”

Kaibara locked eyes with you sitting alone at a table, your eyes laced with blissful lust, lips pouty and wet. The maid costume you had on exposed your beautiful breasts, shoving the curves, the tender flesh, and your sweat shined softly off it. Kaibara felt his breathing become shallower yet deeper as the sounds of meeting wet sex, lewd cries, the maids begging for more, demanding more. The clients — the masters — speaking in tongues as they fucked the women against the chairs, tabletops, anything in which they could balance.

Oh.

It made sense why you never wanted anyone to follow you to work.

Kaibara had been so caught up in the scene before him, the somehow sex maid cafe themed orgy (sexy party? But there was no group sex minus the man in the back fucking three maids!) that he hadn’t noticed you approach him. He tensed yet again when your hands fisted into his shirt, your warm breath brushing against his exposed collarbones, a curling sweetness emitting from your person and knocking his breath away yet again.

“Kaibara-sama, I never expected you to finally come. I’ve missed you,” you whine, pressing your body so close to his. Your stocking-covered thighs were brushing against his slowly awakening dick.

“Y-Y/n,” Kaibara stuttered, and he winced at how not part of the plan that was. “I-I thought this was a maid cafe?”

“We are a maid cafe,” you sigh as if he was asking an amusing yet dumb question. Your arms wrapping around his neck, and hips rolling against his. “We service our masters however they see fit! I wanna help Kaibara-sama feel good now that he’s here.”

Kaibara hisses under his breath, the feeling of your thigh rubbing against his growing dick insatiable as it is slightly uncomfortable due to the rough fabric of his jeans. “I’m here to drop off your charger! You forgot it! I-I’m leaving after this.”

You grin, your laughter bell-like in his ear as you nuzzle your nose against the smooth curve of his neck. “I left it there on purpose; I wanted Kaibara-sama to follow me here and see if he could still love me like this.” Goosebumps flash across his body, and Kaibara whines at the back of his throat as you begin walking backward, taking him to the table where you once sat. “I never wanted Kaibara-sama to see me like this, never wanted Kaibara-sama to see and know what a big whore I am before he confessed his feelings to me. But Kaibara-sama followed me to my work and didn’t run away… I’m so blessed.”

Your hands landed on his chest, and Kaibara yelped as you shoved him onto the spacious, comfortable chair before the table. Your teeth bit into your lower lip, eyes practically glowing with lust as a single sleeve began descending from your shoulder.

Kaibara suddenly forgot how to breathe.

“I’m at your service, Kaibara-sama,” you whisper, eyelashes fluttering. “How may I help you?”

Kaibara was going to respond eloquently and affirmatively that he didn’t need you to service him, but the Kaibara-sama sounded so lovely.

“I— um, well— I— ohmygoD!”

Kaibara nearly leaped out of his own skin as you pushed his knees apart and kneeled before him. Your eyes locked on his before glancing down to the prominent bulge in his pants. You grin, fingers stretching out and eagerly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling out his hard cock in less than ten seconds.

“Wowwww,” you breathe, eyes lighting up at the still hardening dick you were holding in your hands. “Kaibara-sama… you’re so big!”

You stared at the easily nine-inch dick in your hands, the slight curve to it making your core burn, and the bluish veins dancing under the skin making your mouth water. He was better than what you had expected him to be, and you wanted to know how he tasted, how he felt in your mouth and your pussy.

His erratic breathing caught your attention, and you looked back up at him, the scarlet on his cheeks, the expression that told you that he was battling instinct and morals. It was up to you, his maid, to make the decision for him, it seemed.

“I’ll take good care of you, Kaibara-sama,” you promised, heart hammering in your chest as you leaned forward, and without much of an issue, swallowed at least half of his cock.

Kaibara’s reaction is instantaneous; the near howl of pleasure and surprise ripping from his throat is a sound you’re almost unfamiliar with. He was such a serious man; even when he was comfortable and energetic, there was a sense of seriousness to him. There was a time, however, that you remember him being near-feral, demanding, excited. It was when there was a competition or when his feelings truly and utterly overcame him. You smiled around his cock, your teeth barely scraping the length of his cock, and giggled.

You overwhelmed him.

But there was no time for celebrations, no time to think about how you were serving your master to the best you could; his hands were suddenly fisted into your hair, and his hips rolled up into you, fucking your throat. Tears sprung in your eyes, the uncomfortable sensation of his cock flushes down your throat, pressing so heavy on your tongue.

“F-Fuck, this feels so fucking good!” Kaibara gasps, his eyebrows scrunching and hips lifting off the seat to continue face fucking you.

You relax your throat as best you can, chokes and gags pittering out of your mouth despite your best attempts. You hum, forcing your throat to allow the tip of his cock to go even further down your throat. Kaibara moans loudly, the noises he makes dripping down your back, making you feel sweaty, hot, and flush. His noises stir the heat between your thighs, making one of your hands go down beneath the layers of your puffy skirt to press to your throbbing clit, desperate to relieve the building, untouched tension.

“No!” Kaibara hisses, a single hand leaving your head to grab onto your wandering hand and bringing it back up. You yelp around his cock at the sudden movement, and you’re forced to come off his cock with haggling, rough coughs. Tears fall down your cheeks, and there's a thick line of saliva and precum trailing between the tip of his cock and the bottom of your lip. “You’re my maid, right?”

You cough, your lungs are burning with wrongly swallowed saliva, and the recent asphyxiation you had. Cocking your head to the side, you startle when he suddenly leans in near, pinching your cheeks between two fingers and drawing you near him.

“Answer me, y/l/n-chan.”

“Y-Yes!” you squeak, swollen lips trembling and your breathing hitching as you shiver. There was a fire in his eyes, a type of lust-fueled rage that made your skin tingle and crawl in the sweetest of ways. “I’m here to service Kaibara-sama.”

“Then why are you trying to relieve yourself?” he snaps, face so near you want to kiss him, and you whimper because his scolding and humiliation do nothing to ease the fire in your cunt… it only ravages it, letting it fester into a raging wildfire. “You’re here for me, your master, so fuck me — focus on just me.”

“Yes, Kaibara-sama!” you shiver, body tingling as you reclaim his cock in your mouth.

And unlike before, where Kaibara merely sounded like a man who was feasting upon the food of the gods, he sits up straighter, more commanding, a man who sat in his chair knowing his worth. He took on the deception of a master.

“Hold my dick with your hands,” Kaibara grunts, hands fisting the hair at the nape of your neck and forcing your head to tilt up towards him. “I can’t trust you.”

You nodded your head, hands coming up to hold onto the base of his cock that your mouth couldn’t take in. You were fucking him diligently and intently with your mouth, driving him further down, your tongue and hollowed cheeks doing all it could to please your master. You sucked his dick with the intention of promising him that you were worth it, of making him fill your mouth and throat with him so he could never doubt that it was him you wanted, him you wanted to consume.

“Such a good sluttly little maid,” Kaibara praised and degraded. His hands tighten almost painfully in your hair. “Taking my big cock so easily... Don’t tell me you’ve been practicing on other men.”

You make a noise that screams no.

You would never!

“Oh, no?” Kaibara grunts, his tongue licking out past his lips, and you shudder under his gaze. “Did my slutty fucking maid keep her mouth clean for me?”

You whine in approval, your lungs burning as he keeps you still on his cock, eyes deceivingly angry.

“Good… that just means I’ll have to fuck your whore pussy so good you’ll never ask or seek a new master,” Kaibara grinned, and your eyes widened.

It happened so fast, you were on the ground one second, and in the next, he had you pinned with your back against the table. It was almost uncomfortable, the edge of the table pressing into your spine, and your hands scrambled to latch onto his shirt as his jeans fell to his knees and his hands gripped the top of your maid outfit down, exposing your naked breasts.

His hands found a place on your breasts, warm and calloused fingers moving against smooth, soft skin. You moaned loudly, hips twitching unconsciously as he brushed against the swell of your nipple.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Kaibara groaned, fingers pinching roughly against your skin, and you warbled a scream. It wasn’t painful; it was pleasurable. Your head swam in a way it never had before when you had serviced other men, your clit was throbbing with an increase of needed attention, and your voice keened with his praise. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you — wanted this. I wanna make you feel so good, let your master fuck you however I want, y/l/n, I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

You nod your head, words failing you, and you watched Kaibara let out a heavy stream of air out of his nose, a near perverted, happy grin on his face.

“Say it.”

“Fuck me, Kaibara-sama,” you whisper, hands fisting into his shirt. “Ruin me. Claim me. Make me yours.”

His eyes flash dangerously.

“You were never not mine.”

And with a hand looping underneath your knee and with the sudden shove on your shoulder to knock you back, Kaibara pressed his cock against your wet, sopping entrance and shoved into you. You scream loudly, hands digging into his back as his cock enters you, unforgiving and demanding. Your legs wrap around his waist, heels digging into his hips as you shudder and shake, body twitching under the dull, hot stretch of him in you, your body sweating with the consuming heat and pleasure that his entrance gives you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you squeal, fingernails digging into his skin, face burying into his neck. “Kaibara-sama is so big, he’s stretching me out so much, I’m— I can’t—”

Kaibara clicks his tongue, his nose nuzzling into your cheek, “Don’t say that, y/l/n-chan. Don’t ever tell your master that you can’t. You can do anything so long as I ask of it, right? I don’t like the word can’t.”

You whimper, head nodding in understanding as you shift your hips partly for needed friction, partly for relief.

“Stop that,” Kaibara orders, hands suddenly on your hips, preventing you from moving. “Ask permission from your master if you can move. You are here to serve me; you are not here for yourself. Do you understand?”

Your breathing is heavy, your legs shaking as you nod, breathlessly saying that you agree even though you need relief. You need to please your master; you have to make sure he continues to want your service: just you, no one else.

“Good girl,” he praises and somehow pushes even further into you.

You moan loudly at the movement, fingers digging into his skin yet again, and Kaibara laughed, teeth nipping at your collarbone. Your back is entirely arched, jaw slacked, voice dead on your tongue because the feeling of him buried deep within you is staggering. You let out a single happy noise, your mouth gasping for breath as your voice finally begins to come back to you.

“So tight, so hot,” Kaibara groans, his teeth dragging up and down your neck as his hips roll back and thrust back into you at his own pace. It’s steady, slow almost—a steady beat like a subtle heartbeat that kept you sane. “Don’t be quiet… I want to hear what I do to you; I want everyone to hear what I do to you.”

And a hand pinches your clit at the same time he slams roughly, with tremendous strength into you, and you wail.

It’s as if that wail was a starting sound, the sound that told Kaibara that he was in the clear to do whatever he wanted. To fuck you as he deemed, to make you fulfill your duty to providing and exceeding his every need and demand. He fucked into you, each snap of his hip, every roll, sending loud slaps through the room. The table creaked and shifted with every advancing move, and you rolled your hips up, fucking back into him, desperate to make his breath hitch and hiss in pleasure. His teeth buried into your skin, sucking and nibbling marks onto your skin, subtle and near bloody marks to show the world that you were his.

“Kaibara-sama!” you scream at a particular thrust, back arching wildly, eyes slamming shut as you moan to the heavens. “Kiss me please! Please kiss me—”

Kaibara’s mouth was over yours immediately. You cried into his mouth, shuddering and shaking as he continued his maddening dance with you, the endless, exciting cycle of tingling sensations and exploding warmth. His tongue entered your mouth, tasting of him, iron, and sweat. You moan louder, your velvet walls clenching and milking against his length. You don’t want to ever pull out; you want him, his seed, everything.

He kisses you like a madman, someone who believed that if he stopped, he would die.

You eat it up, returning it in full, unable to even believe you want him to stop.

“You drive me fucking insane,” Kaibara pants, hands coming back down to your hips and keeping them in place as he suddenly, powerfully, and somehow rhythmically pounding into you in short, strong fucks.

It’s overwhelming, the feeling of his girth stretching you out and abandoning you so quickly, the way his tip licks against your cervix, teasing up against your sweet spot. His face is desperate, needing, and so powerful that you cry to him, your master, your god. Your pussy is soaked with your essence, the sex spilling it all-around your thighs and on him, the wet squelching pounding making you embarrassed and so much more turned on. His teeth sink into your jaw, and your body is begging, twitching, the heat in your stomach overwhelming and no longer building but waiting for it to be unleashed.

“K-Kaibara-sama!” you cry, a warning for the near-inevitable.

But you wail his name, the electricity in your veins and blood scorching the levels of your skin, and Kaibara takes that as a reason to do more, to fuck more. He drills into you at a new speed, a new power. Your head is swimming in the delirium, and your body trembles, the words “more, faster, harder” spilling from your mouth without consent, but tears build in your eyes as his fingers seem to almost spin against your clit and you scream.

You cum loudly, aggressively, all your energy destroyed as you hit the high. Kaibara moans against your bruised and marked skin; the warmth heat of spilling seed expelling into your cunt is a sensation that drives you insane as he collapses his weight on top of you. You’re breathless, speechless, a part of you unable to comprehend that your crush had fucked you before he had kissed you, that he was the best fuck you had, and how this man wanted you back.

It’s quiet for a bit, the two of you laying on the table as cum dripped out of your cunt, and he rested his head between your exposed breasts.

“So,” you finally rasp, a soft grin coming onto your face. “You have my charger?”

“18000 yen?!” Kaibara barked, eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the older lady at the counter who was billing him for his session.

“We are a sex club, Kaibara-sama,” she sighed. “Not only did you have a three-hour session with our most requested maid, but you also marked the merchandise.”

“I couldn’t?!” Kaibara snapped but cooled down almost immediately when the lady pointed at a: ‘Fines for every mark on the maids!!!!’ sign. “Oh.”

“Take it from my paycheck,” you sing from beside him, bundled up in a coat, the marks he gave you completely hidden now. It was the end of your shift and closing time, after all. “I got him riled up without telling him the rules.”

Kaibara chuckled as you arranged a proper check for him.

He thought about what he thought of his life, and while he couldn’t say that his life wasn’t a hentai right now, he knew, without a doubt, that life is not a shoujo manga.

#kaibara x reader #kaibara smut #bnha x reader #bnha #mha

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glittercake · 3 years

Text

bucky/sarah | rated G | no warnings apply | 1k

It’s a decently warm Sunday in Louisiana and the very first thing Bucky does after settling into his new place in Delacroix, is head over to see the Wilsons.

Well. A very specific Wilson.

There’s no one at the docks though, a few lone fishermen and a couple of kids playing by the shallow shore. Sarah’s nowhere to be found so Bucky sneaks his way up to the house, pays two teenagers to say they never saw him in case Sam asks and even covers his tracks in the dirt.

He spots Sarah on the porch tending to the pots of growing peppers lined up in the windowsill. The sun’s on her back, baking her bare neck, and he imagines for a second what it’ll feel like sliding up behind her and kissing her warm skin with his arms around her middle, squeezing a little.

But hhm... that’s. Yeah, that’ll have to wait. He’s gotta get in the game first before he starts swinging with stuff like that.

He pops his head around the corner, into her line of sight, "Where's Sam?"

Sarah, depositing a freshly picked batch of bell peppers into a bag, jumps, "Oh my lord! Sir, what are you sneaking around like that for?" But she licks her lips, smiles.

"Didn't want Sam catching me," Bucky tells her and shrugs, gives her a grin as he comes over and presents her with a brown paper bag.

"Well, he ain’t around. Over at the Jones’ with Carlos."

"Good.” Bucky grimaces, thinking of Sam’s last warning, "He's still a little, well, apprehensive about this."

Sarah smiles, peeling off her garden gloves, "And what exactly is 'this'?"

"Me wooing you."

Read the rest under the cut or here on Ao3

"Oh, okay, is that what you're doing?" She reaches out to take the paper bag from him and opens it with careful skepticism.

"Hope you like Chinese," he says and settles himself down on the porch steps. Sarah comes to sit beside him and hands one of the containers over.

"I like it just fine." She knocks her shoulder into his, gives him a quick up and down that makes blood rush to his cheeks.

She smells real nice, flowery and sweet and it kind of makes Bucky's head buzz. He's not cool at all, he's a huge fumbling mess and has no actual idea how to act around a woman he's so attracted to. But he tries to keep his composure and do what he came here to do, which is to charm the hell out of Sarah Wilson because damn, he hasn't seen a smile like hers in a hot minute.

In all honesty, he knew he was done for the first time she appeared on the docks and said his name. It's just… he had a lot more fitness before all the brainwashing and torture. Hydra could have done him a solid and left that part intact.

But they didn't, so it's just him and his stupid Chinese take out and the most beautiful girl in the world on this sunny Louisiana afternoon.

"So, wooing, huh?" She grins, slurps up a noodle, and it leaves a shiny sauce trail on her chin.

Bucky's thoughts screech to a halt, "Yes ma'am," and without thinking he reaches up with his right hand, very daringly and way too bold for his own good, touches his thumb to her chin to wipe it up. "Wooing," he confirms as if that move just made his point very clearly.

A delighted laugh bubbles from her chest, "That was smooth; I'll give you that, Bucky Barnes."

"I try," he says, grinning at himself because he didn't think she'd remember his name, much less know his last. To hide his excitement about that, he gets into his own box of noodles instead.

It's kind of quiet then. They eat in silence, she checks her phone, Bucky watches her with a stupid fluttering feeling in his gut. Her braids are down today, draped over her shoulder, her nails are painted a dark red, and she's got a plain white t-shirt on. She's stunning.

He's wondering how the hell he's going to pull this off, thinking he's probably batting way out of his league here, when she clears her throat.

"Don't tell me you got Chinese with no fortune cookies. I don't know what kind of wooing this is but—"

"Nope!" he fumbles in his jacket pocket and pulls out a smaller brown paper bag. He tips it over and empties the content on the porch between them, "Go ahead."

She does. Picks one up and tears it open, then cracks it between her fingers. The crumbs scatter all over as she pulls the little paper out, unfolds it, and then cackles.

"What?" Bucky smiles knowingly, "What's it say?" he takes another bite of chow mein.

Her eyes narrow with laughter when she looks at him and repeats the words on her fortune, "Go on a date with the metal arm man."

"Oh wow." He innocently twirls a noodle around his fork, "Would you look at that?"

"Boy," she chuckles, then cracks open another one, snorts as she reads it, "He's a little weird, but he thinks you're gorgeous."

"These cookies, huh? Jeez." He packs up his empty container, picks up a cookie and pulls the paper out, then shows her, "Oh my god, look at this—"

"Say yes to the date," Sarah reads, giggling.

"Outrageous," he says, smiles, and looks away because his heart is pounding in his chest like a drum.

And she's about to answer when Sam comes jogging around the corner, waving a hand in the air, "No! No, no, no!"

"Oh shit!" Bucky yelps and shoots up and starts running because Sam's about to deck him.

Sam chases after him, "What did I say about flirting with my sister! What did I say?"

"Who told you I was here?" Bucky screams back at him, racing his way around the house with Sam short on his heels.

"Jesus himself told me! Come here!"

When he gains some ground on Sam and reaches the porch again, Sarah's happily amused, beautifully glowing in the high afternoon sun, a golden pearly sheen on her skin.

"So?" he says, stopping in front of her to rest, "Yes or no?"

She sees Sam coming, "Run!" and laughs as Bucky jerks back into a sprint.

He turns, runs backward, "Well?!" he calls out to her with his arms up in question.

Sarah laughs again, like a choir of joy, "Yeah, okay! Saturday!"

Bucky air pumps, "Yes!" just before Sam tackles him to the ground, and then he's heaving under the weight of Captain Fucking America.

But he's not phased. She said yes.

#sarahbucky #sarah wilson #sarah x bucky #i am thinking about making this a mini series idk #like them on the date and bucky being a total gentleman #and then them after the date where he is uh less of a uh gentleman if you know what i mean errrmmhm #samantha writes

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bigbrainblue · 3 years

Text

19th birthday

It was late.

you don’t know how late, but late enough that you hadn’t heard a car pass in well over 20 minutes, the only light around was from the distance street lamps and the reflection of the moon on the ocean that stood before you. the only sound coming from the crickets in the hills, occasional wave crashing, and your own shallow breath.

currently you were sat on a beach. alone.

it was your birthday, you had come to the beach from your birthday party. a party to celebrate the day you were born 19 years ago.

the party was fine, but there sure as hell were a lot of people, way more than you would have liked

you knew people there, sure, but a good portion of the party was people you've never even heard of, just coming for a party and the booze.

you had arrived with your friends, a lot of them actually, you had just managed to lose them all one by one slowly as the night grew longer and as your vison started to blur.

the people you came with were your friends, Niki, will, toby, tom, clay, George, nick, and Alex.

you were having fun, drinking, walking around, socializing. but soon it became too much.

the drinking had made you obsess over every thought that came into your head.

you decided to take a break, have some fresh air, and now here you are. on a beach. alone. at night.

one of the thoughts your brain wouldn’t let go was about Alex, the boy you’ve known since junior year of Highschool. you two met when you decided to do a foreign exchange year in Mexico. it just so happened to be that the parents that decided to host you for a school year also were the parents of a teenage boy the same age as you, with straight black hair that stuck to the back of his neck and with freckles scattered around his face. over the next 9 months you guys became best friends, never leaving each others sides.

you didn't know it then, but you had fallen in love with this boy, this amazing beautiful smart caring boy.

but eventually you had to go home, but you guys never stopped talking.

Alex eventually started posting videos on YouTube, and not long after, streaming on twitch as well.

you watched him gain fame as you supported him at the sidelines, cheering him along the way.

at some point he convinced you to do it too. you spent long nights on calls with him, helping you set up your streams and giving you ideas for new YouTube videos.

with the help of Alex, you started to gain fame too, even passing him at one point.

through streaming and YouTube, you made so many friends, and yet none of them compared to Alex.

speaking of Alex, you wondered what he was doing, probably having the time of his life, drinking an hooking up with girls a bajillion times hotter than you

*A/N HI OK IM SORRY IF THAT PART SOUNDED MEAN I PROMISE IT ADDS TO THE STORY OK BYE*

you laughed quietly at yourself thinking about how stupid it was to think that you could pull a guy like Alex.

just then you heard it.

a familiar voice from behind you, “what’s so funny?”

you looked back startled and confused

‘Alex? what are you doing out here?”

“well y/n I could ask the same thing to you, its your party, i noticed you were gone, so I went looking for you. as simple as that”

“i got overwhelmed in there, I'm sorry. i just needed some fresh air”

“ its ok, don't apologize for something you cant control. can I sit?”

“nope” you said sarcastically, hoping he would get the joke

“too bad!” he said, plopping himself right next to you in the sand

you giggled at his humor

neither of you said anything, it wasn't awkward silence, you two had known each other long enough that sometimes, it was nice to just enjoy the company of the other person beside you in silence.

and yet, suddenly Alex said something.

“have you been crying? there's dried tear streaks along the sides of your face”

you turned your head towards his and whipped the sides of you face, seeing that he was already looking at you, studying you and your facial expression.

“i guess. if I did, I didn't notice.”

“how did you not notice yourself crying? that sounds like something very noticeable” he said, putting an emphasis on the very,

you laughed, probably harder than you should have.

he smiled, happy to see you happy

“do you wanna talk about it? why you were crying?”

“no, well, not here at least-” you said gesturing your hands at the ocean

“plus, there's sand getting in my ass” you added on to your previous sentence

Alex laughed and agreed, standing up and brushing off hi pants, and then handing out a hand for you to grab as he pulled you up.

you also brushed yourself off, and you weren't lying, cause man was there a lot of sand in your ass.

he started walking away from you and as you caught up with him you asked,

“where are we going?”

“you’ll see, its a great place, I promise you will love it”

you followed Alex to his car as he opened the passenger side door for you.

“how romantic” you commented as you climbed into his car. poking fun at him

as he got into the car he plugged his phone into the aux cord, playing a song you had heard a couple times, but would have never expected for Alex to listen to it, it just didn't seem like the type of music he would like.

he set his phone down face up as the screen flashed up at you as he put the car into gear and pulled out into the street

you saw the title of the song he was playing, “Falling For U” by Peachy ft Mxmtoon, and his wallpaper, a photo of you two from junior year. both standing next to each other awkwardly as his mom made you guys take a photo together on the first day you got there. you wondered how long it had been his wallpaper for.

you laughed and asked him about his wallpaper

“i mean you gotta admit, we look extremely sexy in that photo. especially me”

this comment from Alex made you break out laughing, even harder than before, as he started to hum along with the lyrics of the song. joined with him actually saying a line out loud every once in a while

it was a peaceful drive, Alex played more lofi songs as you stared out the widow.

eventually he pulled the car into an empty parking lot of a small gas station

“is this the place?” you questioned

“nope, just a pit stop.” he said

you both went inside, grabbing snacks and drinks and piling them into the back of the car. Alex making you wait to open them until you two got to your final destination

eventually, the car rolled into a another small empty parking lot, except this one was made of dirt and was a lot higher up.

Alex had pulled the car to the edge of the parking lot, as you finally got to see why he brought you here,

you looked through the windshield to find a view of the entire city.

you gasped in awe as you looked towards Alex, who, again, was already looking at you.

this time he wasn't studying you, he was admiring you.

you blushed, but pushed it off.

you and him both got out of the car so you guys could grab the snacks and the blankets he had in the back of his car.

he hopped onto the hood of his car and you joined him.

you starred into the sky full of stars above you.

you gasped as you pointed out a shooting star passing over head

“what did you wish for, Alex?”

“i cant tell you or else it wont come true”

“well then couldn't you wish the opposite of what you want to come true and then tell someone so the opposite comes true?”

“you're so stupid-” he said jokingly as he laughed.

“so, do you want to talk about why you were crying earlier, or is this still not the right spot” Alex chuckled at his own joke

“yes but, I have a question first”

Alex hummed in response, curious of what the question could be

“do you believe in love at first sight?”

you could feel his gaze on you, but you didn't divert your eyes from the stars above.

“do you remember the first time that we met? at the airport when my mom forced us to hug and take that god awful photo together, and when we ended up playing tictactoe in the car for an hour while we drove to my house?”

“yes? of course i do, that was simultaneously the worst and best day of my life. but that doesn't answer my question dumbass” you said, still not giving into his gaze onto side of your head.

“I think I just did, did I not?”

it finally clicked, him looking for you at the party, the song in the car, the story

you turned your head to meet his gaze, finally giving in

he sat up and dramatically grabbed his chest, pretending to have been stabbed in the heart, enacting a theatrical performance

“y/n m/n l/m, i am dying, and you must know, that I am in LOVE with you!” he dramatically gasped and fall back down., pretending to be dead.

you played along as you gasped and put the pack of your hand on your forehead as you spoke

“oh my dear Alex, I love you too, and now you will never get to know how much i loved you” you faked sobbed onto his chest

“maybe a true loves kiss will help save him” he whispered, making the scene even funnier and causing both of you to bust out laughing

“ah yes, the only way to save my prince, a true loves KISS!” you said before coming down and kissing Alex on the lips.

he sat up with a loud gasp

“I am alive! a kiss of true love saved me!” you giggled beside him as you watched him play out his Oscar-winning performance

“may I kiss you again m’lady? for saving my life of course.” he questioned

“of course, you can kiss me anytime m’lady” you said back, pulling him into a deeper kiss

he pulled way first before speaking

“WAIT DID YOU JUST CALL ME M’LADY?

#quackity #y/n #x y/n #mcyt #dsmp #alex quackity #quackity fluff #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackity x reader #quackity x reader fluff #i dont know what other tags to put

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songbirdsingingthings · 4 years

Text

Common Sense - Shouto Todoroki x Reader

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Kohei Horikoshi

MHA Masterlist - Main Masterlist

A/N: So I got this idea, ran with it, and then somehow 3,000+ words came out of it. Honestly, I’m kinda really proud with how it turned out and I hope y’all like it too.

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 3.1K

If there was ever a phrase that Shouto Todoroki hated, it would be ‘common sense’. What a weird phrase, he would think, because the use of common sense implies that it’s something that everyone should know, but in most cases, he didn’t. Unfortunately, that phrase left the lips of his friends quite often. He knows they mean no harm or ill will towards him, he was sure they would stop using the term if he ever mentioned how he felt about it, but he didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. The first time it started to get on his nerves was when he, Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka were at the mall on a rare weekday off.

“Wow, hey, look at that!” Uraraka had exclaimed, running as quickly as her feet could carry her over to a newly implemented little wishing well that had been placed in a small corner of the outdoor mall. Midoriya and Iida quickly followed her, but Shouto hung back.

“C’mon Todoroki, let’s go make a wish!” Midoriya urged, beckoning him over with a wave of his hand. Shouto followed him, albeit a little confused, over to the well.

“Does anybody have a quarter I could use? I forgot to bring change with me, I only have bills in my wallet.” Uraraka blushed, her expression a bit embarrassed.

“Of course!” Iida said, fishing two quarters out of his billfold, handing one to Uraraka and keeping the other for himself. Todoroki watched his three friends close their eyes and then flip their coins into the well, taking note at how they sank slowly into the water.

“Todoroki, aren’t you going to make a wish?” Midoriya questioned, a patient smile on his lips. The expression of confusion remained on Shouto’s face.

“What merit do coins have on wishes?” He asked, genuinely curious as to why his friends would technically throw away money in turn for a wish that would most likely be out of their reach or unrealistic. “Also, aren’t we using money to pay for things within the stores here? I thought that you were saving up for that new jacket, Uraraka.” He wondered, turning to look at the pink-cheeked girl. She just smiled and shook her head.

“Todoroki, a small little coin wouldn’t have much effect on my savings. Besides, it’s kinda common sense to enjoy the little things like this and not pay too much mind, right?” Iida and Midoriya nodded enthusiastically, nudging the red-and-white haired boy closer to the water-filled wishing well. He sighed and thought over Uraraka’s words. It’s kinda common sense to enjoy the little things? He thought as a quarter was forcibly put in his hands. He closed his eyes to humor his friends and dropped the coin in the well. He was then afterward given smiles and some reassuring pats, and as much as he knew his friends were making efforts to include him, he couldn’t help but feel a bit… coddled. He knew that as a child he was always shielded from the world, but was he really kept away from this much? Was he seriously hidden from such superficial subjects? He tried to ward away those questions that poked and prodded at his brain, but he couldn’t seem to shrug them off as he observed his friends dart in and out of multiple stores with shopping bags in their hands. Shouto ended up bringing nothing back to the dorm with him, except for a sudden slight contempt for a tiny little phrase.

The next circumstance was when he and Bakugou were at the remedial lessons. While Shouto wasn’t incredibly enthused about going through extra lessons in order to gain his provisional license, he understood why he needed to go and appreciated the effort and lengths that the teachers went to so that he could have another chance. Well, he, Bakugou, Inasa and a girl who just introduced herself as Camie to him and the explosive-quirked boy.

“So, who’s this smoldery looking two-toned boy?” She had chirped, her hand clutching the brim of her Shiketsu high cap. “You’re, like, super hot. I’m crazy siked to train with a babe like you!” Even Shouto had to admit to himself that this girl was coming onto him really strong - and not exactly in the most flattering way possible. She greeted Inasa briefly, but then dug into her pocket to grab her phone, holding it out in front of Shouto. “Seriously, can I, like, have your number?” Hesitantly, Shouto responded.

“Uhh, sure.” He replied, but made no effort to grab his own phone that was safely tucked away in his blazer pocket. He found her interactions with others to be quite shallow in the way that she really gave no information about herself. Camie tended to project more onto others, he figured. As he and Bakugou walked to the changing room specifically set aside for UA students, Shouto noticed the look of disapproval on the blonde’s face. Shouto just quirked an eyebrow at him, knowing that he didn’t need a vocal cue to get Bakugou to start talking.

“You seriously agreed to give your number to that chick at the drop of the hat? Do you not have any standards, Icyhot?” He growled, Bakugou’s signature scowl now adorning face.

“What do you mean? I just assumed she would need it in case of emergencies.” Shouto explained. With a roll of his eyes and a look that conveyed Bakugou wanted to rip his own hair out, the blonde glared at him.

“YOU DON’T JUST GIVE A NUMBER TO A GIRL YOU JUST MET! GET TO KNOW HER OR SOMETHING YOU HALF-AND-HALF BASTARD! IT’S JUST COMMON SENSE!” Shouto was used to Bakugou’s outbursts and never took any of what he said personally, but now that was the second time the phrase common sense was used at his expense… and it irked him. Shouto’s eyes narrowed as he watched Bakugou trudge and stomp his way through the door and into the changing room. And, not unlike the first time he heard it, the saying ‘common sense’ left a foul taste in his mouth.

Finally, the most recent time he heard it, was from the person he probably despised the most. His own father. Shouto was visiting his home - which happened rarely and the time he spent there was brief - to speak with and catch up with his sister, Fuyumi. Unfortunately, just as he was about to leave, the number two Pro-Hero walked through the door.

“Shouto, you’re home!” He bellowed, a grin plastered under his flaming mustache. Shouto frowned and narrowed his eyes as he navigated around the stocky man, making his way out of the door. He adjusted the strap of his shoulder bag after it was jostled by unintentionally brushing roughly past his father, but a heavy hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks. With narrowed eyes and a frown-turned-grimace on his face, he turned around to face the fire-quirked man.

“Do you have something to say or will you let me be on my way?” Shouto glared, making Endeavor bristle.

“Yes, Shouto, I have something to say indeed!” The flames on his body seemed to grow larger, proving another example of a concept Shouto recently learned in class: direct variation. “You haven’t bothered to return any of my calls or my text messages to you regarding personal training! It’s no wonder you didn’t pass your provisional licensing exam!” Flames emitted from his father’s body out of rage, and as much as Shouto tried not to let it out, a small wisp left his left side.

“I’m not interested, and I’ve told you as such.” Shouto grits out, resuming his previous pathing of making his way out of his childhood home.

“You respond to your father when he reaches out to you! IT IS COMMON SENSE!” Endeavor shouts, causing Shouto’s body to go rigid. He clenches his jaw and twists around. His father saying that hated term was the last straw for him.

“IT IS NOT COMMON SENSE IN RELATION TO YOU!” Shouto barks out, frost and flames growing on their respective sides. And, with that, Shouto finally leaves the metal gates of his home, slamming them behind himself as he left. He cringed a bit at the loud clanging noise it left behind, but he was too furious to really care. He did feel bad for his classmates as they saw him enter the doors of the dorm building with a scowl almost comparable to Bakugou’s, not even sparing them a word as he left them in the common room and shut himself up in his dorm.

At the current moment, Shouto is shifting somewhat uncomfortably on one of the many cushions that were dotted around the main floor common room. It was late in the evening, but the energy coming from the Class 1A dorms was much larger due to it being a Friday night. After a particularly hard week at school, Mina Ashido and Eijirou Kirishima had proposed the idea of a Class 1A slumber party in the main room and that everyone had to come. There were no exceptions to this rule, they explained - even a glaring Bakugou was nestled into the corner of the room with a weighted blanket on top of him and a pillow. It was truly a wonder that he hadn’t tried to escape or fall asleep yet, but the rest of the class didn’t dare to ask him. Denki had tried it earlier and was greeted with a small explosion to the face and a few very choice words spat at him. This was a first for the red-and-white haired boy - never had he had a sleepover, much less a slumber party, so the pillow fights and truth-or-dare games that were being played were more or less foreign concepts to him. However, here was one thing he did know. It was that he found a sense of peace when looking at you. As a strong and powerful hero-in-training, he had always kept an eye on you in training to try and better prepare himself for an attack. But recently, he noticed that his gaze always gravitated to you whenever he was in the classroom or in the dining room. Whether it was the sun shining on your Y/H/C hair or the smile that sprouted from your lips whenever someone cracked a joke, he found them much more interesting since they were coming from you. Before long, the two of you had developed a solid friendship that involved everything - from studying together in the library to going on late night soba runs, he found you to be a much needed source of support in his life. What he didn’t realize would happen, though, was heat creeping up onto his cheeks when you locked eyes with him. You did nothing to make him feel embarrassed - just offered him a kind smile and began to make your way over to him, but the blush on his cheeks was unrelenting. He even tried to activate his right side in the hopes of cancelling it out, but to no avail. Thankfully to him, you didn’t seem to notice.

“It’s getting kinda crazy in here, huh.” You say, trying to spark up a conversation between you and him. Shouto, not finding any words, merely nodded his head. “It’s fine to be overwhelmed,” you continued, “I remember the first time I had a sleepover when I was nine years old. I had to call my parents to pick me up early because I felt like it was too suffocating,” you laugh, poking fun at your younger self’s obseredity. This cracked a small smile on Shouto’s lips. “Tell me if you need an excuse to get out of here - I have several stored up in here from previous uncomfortable situations.” You say, pointing a finger up to your temple.

“I think Bakugou would benefit from that,” Shouto muses as both of your gazes flicker over to the sulking blonde. The sound of your laughter does wonders to soothe the antsy feeling he had previously in his chest.

“Okay, well, us girls are going to get ready for bed in my room! We’ll be back any minute, so no need to worry!” Mina announces, sending a smile to the boys as the girls got up one by one and grabbed their pajamas. You gave Shouto a smile and a pat on the shoulder before standing up. You stretched your arms above your head due to the ache that was ever prominent from the endless days of training finally catching up to you.

“Alright, I’ll be back soon. Save me a good spot?” You ask, backpedaling slowly so that your face was still turned towards Shouto. With a small smile, he nodded.

“Sure thing.” With a quick thumbs up and a little spring in your step, you spun around to quickly follow the rest of your female classmates. As soon as the door was shut, Denki had motioned for all of the guys to come to the middle of the room. Shouto, figuring that they were just going to talk about how they should figure out sleeping arrangements, shuffled closer as well. Oh, how wrong he was.

“So, now that the girls are gone for a bit, I gotta know. Who do you guys think the prettiest or, my preferred adjective, hottest girl in class is?” Immediately, Shouto’s eyes widened at the subject of conversation and how unabashedly forward he was. The red-and-white haired boy was even more shocked when the rest of the guys started talking.

“Well, we all have to admit that Momo is very pretty.” Sero says, earning nods from around the room.

“I think I know who Midoriya is gonna say,” teased Denki, nudging the green-haired boy’s side with his elbow.

“I-I don’t really know what you guys are on about?” Midoriya said, his voice octaves higher than normal. Snickers erupted from the boys as they all - even Shouto unconsciously - came to the same conclusion that Midoriya was thinking of a certain pink-cheeked brunette.

“I think that Hagakure is pretty.” A small voice peeped. All heads turned to face Ojirou who had a shy smile on his face. The next few minutes of conversations were filled with the boys commenting on how pretty the girls were in their class, going from Tsu to Mina, and then to Jirou.

“We all know you have the hots for Jirou, Denki, you don’t need to hide it.” Sero said, a mischievous grin laced across his face. The electric blonde’s jaw opened and closed like a fish before quickly changing the subject.

“W-well how about L/N?” He said, trying to get his nerves to dissipate. At her name being voiced, Shouto’s head perked up and, before he could stop the words from his mouth, he spoke.

“That’s just common sense.” The room went quiet as soon as Shouto’s words were spoken, all eyes on him. He couldn’t believe himself. That phrase, the one that irked him so much, he actually used. As much as he wanted to cringe at the use of it, he couldn’t help but understand why he used it. He had looked up the exact meaning of the phrase online before, and every site he found yielded the same results; a practical judgement concerning everyday matters. If someone were to lack common sense, then that person would usually be regarded as a simpleton or unintelligent. Well, Shouto couldn’t help but agree that if people had thought of Y/N as anything but gorgeous, then they were definitely lacking common sense.

“Uh, care to elaborate?” Kirishima asked, trying to prompt the red-and-white haired boy to spill his inside feelings that were usually never exposed to the rest of the group. Normally, Shouto would’ve put that iron gate back up around his mind and heart, but like a dam bursting and overflowing with water, he couldn’t help but let his drowning thoughts of Y/N consume his better judgement.

“It’s common sense that she’s pretty because she encapsulates everything it means to be as such.” The boys all leaned in closer to hear more, but were interrupted by a door swinging open.

“Okay, we’re back! Now, what movie should we watch? I’m kinda partial to Game Night, but am open to suggestions.” Mina chirps. The boys quickly dispersed from the middle of the room and back to their original spots. Shouto tried to find his bearings as quickly as possible since you were making your way back over to him.

“Hey! Sorry we took so long, Hagakure brought up the subject of Hawks and the girls just kinda latched onto talking about him and wouldn’t let go,” you joked, rolling your eyes playfully and settling down next to him. “Thanks for the spot by the way, it’ll be kinda cool sleeping next to each other!” Shouto looked down to where he had left your pillow and blankets and swallowed.

“Oh, uh, yes.” He said. That’s when he finally got a solid look at you. Dressed in soft-looking shorts and an oversized crewneck, you looked as cozy as could be. It was like a warm hug embraced his heart as he watched you shimmy under your blanket, shifting around to find the most comfortable position in order to watch the movie.

“So, what movie do you wanna watch?” You asked, offering him a giddy smile. Shouto’s smile grew larger as he too began to crawl under his blanket.

“I’m not sure, but I’m sure whatever the others decide on will be a suitable choice.” He said. You nodded in return. In the end, the class decided on a random rom-com they found while scrolling through one of the various streaming services the UA campus TVs provided. The overhead lights of the common room were turned off, so only the blue-ish light emitting from the TV made your faces visible to each other.

“Umm, Shouto?” You whispered. Shouto turned his gaze away from the movie and onto your face. With an expression that showed he was listening, he encouraged you to continue your thoughts. “I just wanted to thank you for your compliment earlier, I… I thought it was super sweet.” Shouto’s mind ran a rerun of the day, trying to think of the specific compliment he had given you, until he arrived on the one he indirectly gave you just an hour earlier. His eyes widened and his heart began to beat more quickly as you nudged your way closer to him. “I think it’s common sense that you’re pretty, too.” Shouto drew a shaky breath as your nose brushed against his.

“May I…?” He asked, his voice so trembly that he couldn’t create a full sentence. Thankfully, though, you seemed to understand.

“Mhm” You hummed, meeting him halfway. It was perfect. Slow and sweet, showing how he was truly savoring the experience. A hesitant hand made its way up to cradle your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly across it. While the rest of the class was indeed there, this moment was incredibly private to the both of you. Just you, Shouto, and the common sense shared between you two that you were irrevocably and incandescently in love with each other.

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thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years

Text

Kaz Brekker x fem! Ghafa! Reader - Selfish

A/n: So I wasn't fully happy how this turned out but it's fine! Also btw I changed the title it was previously There for you, there for me?

Warnings: Heart break, language, it has Kaz in it so... I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: Inej your sister is coming back and you know it's selfish but maybe you don't want her to return?

You knew you it was stupid, they all warned you not to. But how could you not? Those raven locks and those deep cold eyes that drew you into a endless ocean of Kaz Brekker. You knew it was silly, crazy even, but maybe that's what the world needed? Did the world need the impossible? The insane? The crazy parts?

When the ice court heist left everyone in shambles trying quickly to pick up the pieces of what you had all lost, and gained. While Nina and Matthias went off to Fjerda, Wylan and Jesper ran the markets, and Inej went off fighting slavers, you...

You stayed.

You stayed for the man that your sister held his heart, the man that you fell for. Staying in Ketterdam surprised everyone, staying with the dregs surprised them even more. You could have left with Inej, you had also been trapped in the menagerie, but your heart had told you to stop listening to your head for second. Would you be happy if you did?

No.

It was the simple yet complicated answer. You realized that you would never be happy as the barrel had become a way of life for you. You were a goddess here, why would you let that go? Ya it was selfish but the sea would shallow you whole with memories you didn't need, they almost did on the ice court heist.

You scale a building as you rip open a letter from your sister giddily, awaiting to see the words on the page that were meant for you. Taking the letter out of the envelope, your smile slowly starts to fade away into a frown as your eyes go down the page.

Dear sister,

The seas have been treating me well, the slavers seems to be cooling down a bit which leads me to my next point of this letter. I'm coming back to visit Ketterdam! I really don't know how you live there, remember the seas are always open for you! Also can you do me a quick favor and in this envelope there's another note inside here for Kaz, can you deliver it for me? Thank you!

May the Saints bless you,

With lots of love, your sister;

Inej

Dread filled you up. Maybe it was selfish however perhaps selflessness wasn't one of your qualities. But you didn't want Inej to come back, you had started something with Kaz. Building anything with Kaz was hard, much less a relationship. Would he choose her over you? The possibilities were endless of what could happen, but you saw very little outcomes where you and Kaz would stay together.

Of course he would choose her, why wouldn't he? You call yourself a goddess, yet your worried what might happen if your little lover might come into contact with your sister. Ha! Your nothing compared to the Wraith.

Shut it. You think, but the truth still lays there right in front of you. It was out in the open and you couldn't ignore it anymore. But what would you do?

Be happy for them. A voice in the back of your head whispers sadly.

Yes, that's what you would do. If they would want to be together you would help them. Selflessness may not be one of the qualities you possessed but you somehow had grabbed it off of someone else shelf. It was in your hands now, and you were going to use it.

As you start to walk back over to the Slat, one thought remains in your mind at the plan you had just formed.

What about you?

+++++++++++TIME SKIP+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You wait on the docks beside Kaz, as you two stand side by side waiting for the boat The Wraith to unload. Wylan and Jesper are also there, talking to each other like there's no tomorrow. They're probably just trying to shake off the nerves. You know you are.

You nervously fiddle with your hands as it feels like Inej's crew takes forever to unload everything and start getting everything together. You may not have wanted your sister to come back but you still wanted her to be safe.

And alive. That would be enjoyable.

Finally after what seemed like a century you see the girl come out from the boat and step onto the docks. A single beam of sun light somehow seems to hit her face perfectly as she does and it makes her look like a saint.

Jealousy fills and bubbles in your gut heating to a boiling point. But you push it down because thank the saints she came back alive and unhurt. You pull her into a hug as she comes close enough to you.

While pulling away you smile at her, one of the things that you don't do very often, even so you only really do for two people. Internally you cringe for thinking about Kaz and Inej in the same thought process.

Be happy for them.

Wylan and Jesper go in for a hug and Kaz just's nods at her not liking touch. Though, his eyes still shines a certain way when he looks at her.

"How did the sea's treat you?" Kaz ask's her and Inej goes into a whole delivery of stories about her time at sea. You all started walking to a near waffle house and the one group suddenly turns into two. With Inej, Kaz, Jesper, and Wylan at the front, and you walking in the back. Alone.

For a split second you wished Nina and Matthias were here. Although Nina would like to listen to Inej's sea stories she would have stayed with you. But this is as it should be.

You didn't deserve that kind of kindness.

They go into the waffle house and you step aside into the darkness on the street, you were no Wraith but you were still a Ghafa.

They don't even notice your absence.

You watch them through the window and although it may had been a bit creepy you were sure Kaz did worse and you lived in Ketterdam so... And everything you see just confirms your suspicions.

Inej and Kaz look at each, Kaz looks her that way and quickly looks away. They share little innocent touches that would go unnoticed by the regular person but meant your world was slowly breaking. Touch, touch, touch.

Tears well up in your eyes and you push down sobs. Turning sharply to the side you run down the street for a bit before finding a building and a ladder. You scale the building with the help of the ladder not being careful enough so bruises and scrapes would probably show up. But not having enough will to care.

You go and stumble to sit down on the edge and when you do the sobs finally at last leave your throat.

There ugly and uncalled for, because why did you have the right to cry?

No. You growl in your mind.

For once you did have a good reason. Your heart just broke. By the saints even that sounds silly and stupid but you really didn't care.

People always seem to try and describe a broken heart but you absolutely cannot know what it feels like if you have not had your heart broken before.

Tears roll down your face as you continue to sob. Then abruptly... You stop.

Well, your tears silently roll down your cheeks but your sobbing stops. The full feeling finally hits you and the roll coaster you thought you would be experiencing isn't there. It's worse.

Your heart has been ripped out of your chest and it's leaving a gaping hole. Honestly, you don't think you'll ever get it back.

Pathetic, you knew it was, but maybe so was life and this is all just some sick game for someone else's enjoyment.

You barely hear it but there's a soft click of a cane and you didn't even realize it but it was already dark out.

Shit.

You know it's Kaz and you can't face him. You really can't. One because he would obviously know somethings wrong just by taking one look at your tear streaked face. Two because how could you face the man you loved, when you knew he at least liked your sister?

"I would say the stars aren't out today, but they never are in Ketterdam." You start to say, and your voice doesn't wobble but it does have a sense of finality to it.

Kaz comes and stands behind you, and you assumed that he nodded because he didn't say anything. Or maybe nothing was needed to be done or said.

"Inej sometimes said that the stars are the saints watching over us." You pause for a second looking up at the starless sky. Where are you going with this?

"If they are then Ketterdam must be out of their reach and Inej must have brought them back from the sea."

Kaz steps forward so he's even closer to you, and place's a shaky hand on your shoulder.

"I don't think that's true." Kaz whispers into the cold air of Ketterdam.

"If the saints are real and they couldn't watch over Ketterdam. But there's one saint that's always here, that could probably leave if they could but won't. One saint that must be the child of them all, because their so much more then they give themselves credit for. And that the saints sent them to watch over Ketterdam but to never leave." Kaz stops talking and he slowly sits down beside me.

You don't turn to face him you never do when you have talks like these. It's like a silent rule between the two of you, but Kaz Brekker was literally a criminal you both are. So your not nearly as surprised as you should be when he finally decides to break it.

He place's a gloveless hand under your chine and gently turns your head so your facing him. Your eyes finally meet his and everything comes into focus and-

Oh.

You've heard people say that the eyes are the entrance to the soul and maybe you didn't believe them before but it couldn't be more right. In Kaz's eyes you see what he's been trying to tell you for months, but you were so blind in thinking that Inej loved him that you didn't see his attempts. But now, you knew.

He didn't love Inej, he love's you.

He cups your cheek and slowly leans in and lightly brush's his lips on yours. It's barley a kiss but it's enough for now. It's all you could ever ask for.

"Inej love's you." It's a simple statement and Kaz just nods. You hesitate trying to think about your next few words carefully.

"I don't want to hurt her, I never could hurt her intentionally but... What should we do?"

Kaz thinks for a moment before speaking. "Inej will be out at sea and I think one day she'll find someone. She'll be out at sea and we'll break to her when she's ready. And I think whatever we have we can- can have. I know it's selfish but I've never been know for being selfless."

You just intertwine your guy's hands together in agreement while you watch the gloomy but alive streets of Ketterdam.

It's selfish, you both know it but selflessness apparently was not something in both your personality traits.

Words 1905

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung

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forever-rogue · 4 years

Text

In Name Only - Part 10

A/N: Thank you guys for all the continued support on this series. It’s seriously such a joy to write that I cannot even express it! I’m so glad you all like it too. It means the world! 💕 As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know. xx

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Reader

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: some almost s*x 😌, egregious use of italics, the sweetest prince 💕

IN NAME ONLY SERIES MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-«

The rest of your stay in Hellholt had shifted from awkward and stiff to comfortable and pleasant. It was amazing how quickly things had changed, and much to your delight it was in the right direction. It wasn’t something you could have predicted at first, but you were glad, thankful even, for the change. More importantly, you were happy with the change in your relationship with Oberyn. He was slowly turning out to be, and this definitely not an exaggeration in your mind - everything.

Gone was the awkward tension, and the constant questioning of does he feel the same? No, now you had your answer, as he had his, and you knew. You knew he felt the same. Was it love? Of that you weren’t positive, but you were sure it was something. Maybe it was. You weren’t ruling out any possibilities just yet, and were more than happy to let them play out naturally.

The atmosphere was pleasant now, a happy environment, and everything felt...golden, like the sweetest daylight. You weren’t just an outsider anymore, you had quickly become a part of the family. Family, you came to realize, wasn’t just about sharing blood or a name, it was so much more than it. It was about love, caring, respect, so many more things than just the shallow ties attached to the term. That was something you always understood, but many others, like your mother and most of the Seven Kingdoms didn’t. It didn’t matter whether you were born into a family, family could be found, it could be chosen. Family was what you made it, and this was your family now.

»»————-　♡　————-«

On your last morning of your stay, you found yourself having a late breakfast in the gardens with your two youngest fans, Dorea and Loreza. They had taken to clinging to you like glue, and for a short moment you had been worried that you had taken them away from Oberyn too much, but he had insisted he was getting plenty of time in with them and he was glad that you were bonding with them too. Besides, this time it wouldn’t be months before he (or now you) saw them all again. The older girls had completely opened up to you as well, but their interests were different from that of their little sisters, so they found themselves naturally gravitating towards Oberyn. They were going to be fierce and cunning, just like their father; he was already so proud of them. His eyes practically lit up whenever so much as a word of them was mentioned.

“And you promise we’ll get to plant the flowers before you and Papa leave?” Loreza asked as she popped a handful of berries into her mouth, a few spilling out as she grew eager with excitement. She reminded you of Oberyn in so many little ways, their small mannerisms almost identical.

“Of course, my little viper,” you promised her, and her dark eyes widened with excitement. You’d gone into the marketplace a few days prior, Oberyn and all the girls in tow, and had found a small stall that sold plants, bushes, and flowers from all over Dorne. Many were little seedlings, but you couldn’t contain your excitement, and ending up purchasing probably many more than you should have. When your husband had seen your face light up with joy, he was loath to stop you. Instead, all six of you had returned home with arms full of new delights, “but you need to be careful and not eat too many berries at once. Otherwise you’ll choke on them, and can’t even enjoy them properly.”

“Sorry,” she grinned sheepishly as you just shook your head, shoulders rising and laughing with light laughter, “Dorea does it too!”

“But Dorea doesn’t try to speak through a mouthful,” Ellaria had come to join you, just in time, looking as effortlessly beautiful as ever. She always looked so regal and elegant, even when she was wearing nothing but a simple gown; maybe one day you’d gain that same poise and elegance. Leaning down to kiss the girls on the crowns of their heads, she offered you a warm smile before sitting down across from you, “how is everyone faring this beautiful morning?”

“Good,” you told her, reaching over and wiping a smudge of yogurt off Dorea’s cheek. She gave you a big grin before going back in for another large bite, and the same thing happened again. You laughed lightly before pointing at her cheek and watching as she hurriedly cleaned it off, “I was just telling the girls that we’ll plant all the new flowers and bushes this afternoon.”

“They’re going to be so pretty Mama,” Dorea said excitedly, “they’re going to grow before the winter and make the garden pretty all winter long.”

“I’m sure they will, sweetlings,” she promised them, affectionately ruffling their dark hair, “you all did an excellent job picking them out.”

“It was definitely all due to them,” you shot them a little wink, “they all picked their favorites, and happen to have a keen eye for the right ones.”

“Did they?” she asked gently, “well I expect you both to do an excellent job planting them and taking good care of them. Now, go and find your sisters and change into different clothes and we’ll all head to the garden. I don’t want you to ruin your nice dresses.”

“Yes Mama,” they echoed, their chubby little hands each reaching for a few more berries before they ran off, giggling among themselves. You couldn’t help but laugh at the two of them, already knowing that you were going to miss your new little friends terribly. Maybe you could convince them all to come to Sunspear soon...you were positive that Oberyn would have no objections.

Ellaria watched them go with a small smile on her face as she grabbed a plate and loaded it up with some of the delicious treats, “they’re excited about working on the garden. Elia and Obella too. They’ve been...in a little bit of a funk lately...they’d definitely missed Oberyn. But I’m glad you’re both here…”

“I am as well,” you promised her, unable to probably express just how much you meant it. Your initially tense relationship with her had quickly dissolved into a budding friendship. Once she realized that you were no threat, meant no harm to her, her children, or Oberyn, she came around and allowed herself to enjoy your company. She had been great, offering you all sorts of insights about Oberyn, and his family, and you felt like you were seeing a whole other side to him. After all, there was plenty of insight that could only come from a former lover. You sat back and relaxed, letting the sun warm you up, “flowers and gardening are a big part of life in the Reach. My father, along with his famous bees, used to have massive gardens, and he always let me help tend to them. It became such a sacred, special thing that we shared. I always looked forward to it, to sending time with him, and watching everything come to life and grow.”

“Have you seen him much? Since your marriage to Oberyn?” she asked and you stilled for a moment, swallowing the lump that had welled up in your throat. You took a moment to compose yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat before turning to give her a tight lipped smile. She didn’t know...but how was she supposed to?

“No...he’s ugh...he died a few years ago,” you said and she made a small sound of surprise before reaching over the table and took your hand in hers, giving it a warm squeeze, “i-it’s okay. There was no way for you to know. I’ve come to the terms with the fact that he’s gone, but I still miss him. I’m afraid that I will always miss him…”

“I think that’s only natural,” she said gently, “I lost my own mother when I was young too. It’s been so long, but it always weighs a little heavy on our hearts. But as long as we don’t let that stop us from moving on. Oberyn knows the same pain - both of his parents and his younger sister.”

“Yes…” you said softly. He’d mentioned his parents but Elia only in passing. You were curious to know about the Dornish Princess turned Targaryen Queen, but weren’t going to push him to ever talk about it. He would do it on his own when he was ready, if he ever would be.

“I didn’t mean to put a damper on the mood,” she said softly before the two of you exchanged a look that quickly turned into a laugh, “oh a much brighter note, I see you and Oberyn must be getting along very well.”

You felt a flush of warmth wash over you, as you realized that despite your best efforts, you bore a few unmistakable marks on your necks and collarbones. You’d worn a light linen tunic, hoping it would be good enough to cover everything up, but apparently it was no use, at least not to Ellaria’s watchful eyes. You captured your bottom lip between your teeth, gnawing on it as you suddenly found your plate extremely interesting as she gently reached over you and gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze with a very knowing little smile.

The greater part of the last week and a half had been filled with rushed words of sweetness and brief, stolen kisses in passing between the two of you. There always seemed to be someone around or clambering for either yourself or Oberyn, allotting you very little alone time. In the evenings, you found yourself retiring shortly before Oberyn, hoping to stay up and talk to him, but despite your best efforts, you were usually fast asleep by the time he returned to your room. He often took it upon himself to make sure you were properly tucked under the covers, always placing a delicate kiss to your forehead before sliding into his own bed.

You hadn’t done much beside exchanging kisses, which only grew increasingly more heated as time went on. If you were being honest with yourself, you weren’t sure just how much longer you’d be able to stand it, knowing that your desire for him was only going to keep building before it completely exploded. But you were going to broach that subject when it came to it, when the time was right. You knew Oberyn was likely feeling the same way, but he would never take advantage of you, or make you do anything you weren’t ready to.

But last night, when you’d retired for the evening together, he quickly had you pinned against the door, as soon as it was shut, his lips finding yours effortlessly. One thing had led to another, and before you knew it, you were practically a puddle melting in his arms. His name had rolled off your lips in reverence, like it was the only religion you ended, gods old and new be damned. His mouth was like magic on your skin, each little kiss leaving a burning fire in his wake as he kissed your lips, your jaw, down your neck, where he nipped at the hollow of your throat.

Before anything else could happen, a little knock had come at the door, another bout of the impeccable timing that everyone seemed to possess. Oberyn had sharply exhaled from his nose, releasing his grip on you, but not before giving you one last, sweet, lingering kiss. You straightened your dress before stepping to the side and nodding towards the door. He took a moment to collect himself before opening the door slowly, only to find Loreza standing on the other side, big crocodile tears rolling down her chubby little cheeks.

“Papa,” she said softly, a little stuffed bunny in her hands as she held her arms out to him. He quickly leaned down and scooped her up in his arms, holding the little girl tightly to his chest. He rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her before pressing little kisses to the side of her side head, murmuring soft reassurances in her ear, “I had a bad dream.”

“It’s okay, my love,” he promised her, his voice softening immediately as he did his best to calm her down. You couldn’t help but melt a little at the sight, a soft little stirring feeling erupting in your stomach. Doing your best to quell it, you reached over and gently mused her dark curls, “you’re safe now. Nothing can hurt you.”

“Will you come with me and make sure its safe?” she asked him in between her little hiccups, her tears having come to a quick halt. Oberyn looked at you momentarily, almost as if asking for permission, which he never needed, of course. Nonetheless you nodded, giving him a quick kiss, pausing to give her one too.

“Come on,” he said softly, “let’s get you all tucked back in and chase those monsters away.”

“Good night, sweet Loreza,” you whispered to her as she gave you a small wave, “take your time, Oberyn.”

He hadn’t returned to your room that night; at first you had waited for him, but you quickly knew that he had undoubtedly fallen asleep in her bed with her, mostly likely telling her a story which had caused the two of them to crash for the evening. You’d fallen into an easy sleep yourself that night, drifting in and out of sweet dreams of Oberyn. It had been some of the best sleep you’d had in ages.

“I...ugh,” you found yourself studying your plate intently, playing with a few berries on it. It reminded you of some of your last kisses with Oberyn - they had been just as sweet, “things have been...going very well.”

“That seems to be the case,” she agreed, with a knowing little smile, “I think everyone can see that. You’re practically glowing lately, both of you. It’s written all over your faces.”

“Yes,” you couldn’t suppress the grin that was stretching across your face, “I suppose I have you to thank for everything, Ellaria. I...I don’t know if I would have been able to speak to him if we hadn’t talked. It was a very helpful push in the right direction.”

“Don’t think of it as a push,” she said softly, “a friendly nudge. I want what is best for Oberyn, always, and you...I can see now that means the two of you together.”

“Whatever you want to consider it, thank you,” you insisted, finding that she was still watching you with a curious expression on her face, “what? Did I make a mess of myself?”

“No,” she promised, “I’m just...and consider this merely a curiosity that you do not have to answer...but have you considered the possibility of children?”

“Oh,” your mouth fell open into a small o as you tried to control your racing thoughts. Had you thought about it? Absolutely. Lately, especially after seeing Oberyn with the twins back in Sunspear and his own girls, it had been at the forefront of your mind. Not that it had changed anything in your mind of course. You didn’t want children...right? But it had definitely stirred something within you, and you couldn’t deny that you had stopped and wondered a few times what a child of yours and Oberyn’s would look like...“no, not really. I’ve never really wanted children of my own. I guess I’ve never had much of a maternal instinct-”

“I’ve seen you with the girls,” Ellaria interrupted with a small laugh, “you definitely have a nurturing spirit. Oberyn told me about the twins as well, the orphanage…”

“Well,” you couldn’t believe he had made it a point to tell her all of this. It warned your heart slightly as you realized just how much care and attention he paid to you, “it’s just...I like children, and care for them. It’s not really...a big deal. Besides, Oberyn already has all of his girls, and I think that’s more than plenty for him…”

“He is a good father, an excellent father,” she agreed, “but there’s always room for more love, for more family...if you should ever feel so inclined. Of course, it is not a suggestion or pressure, a mere observation. Whatever the case ends up being, the girls are lucky to have you in their lives as well. They have many strong women and men in their lives that they have the privilege of learning from - you are no exception.”

“It’s just that I...I-I don’t know if I can have children,” you blurted out suddenly, surprising yourself and her at the same time. You’d never spoken those words out loud before, not even to yourself. But it had been something that had been on your mind for ages ,”I...I was with another man, Waylar, the one I told you about earlier, before Oberyn, the one I thought was going to marry, and naturally we...had sex.”

“As is only natural…”

“We were young and foolish, never careful, never really paid much mind to the possibility of me falling pregnant. I don’t think we ever once tried to prevent anything from happening. But then...nothing ever happened. I never drank moon tea, and we were never careful. I'm sure I would have, probably should have fallen pregnant at some point. If it was something that could have been a possibility. So I just…don’t think it’s in my cards.”

"Have you ever talked to a Maester or healer about any of this?" Ellaria was leaning and hanging onto your every word. You just shook your head, sitting back in your seat and letting out a long sigh.

"I never could have gone without arousing my mother's suspicion," you admitted, "she didn't know about Waylar for a long time, and once she did, she quickly sent him to the Night's Watch. I don't know if she ever realized we'd had sex. And I just never really thought about children and once I realized it was likely an impossibility, I pushed it to the back of my mind."

"So it is not so much a lack of desire as it is the idea that you can't," she questioned and you shrugged. You were sure it would have just been the former...but maybe...she had a point. You’d spent so long thinking you could have children...maybe you had claimed to not want any to numb the possibility of never having them. If you didn’t want them it wouldn’t be a disappointment....

"I don't know," you admitted in earnest, "a combination of the two probably. Oberyn and I briefly discussed children, and we kind of just left it at what it is. He's got the girls and I'm okay without any born to me, I’m pretty sure. Getting to know and spend time with his girls is an absolute pleasure, and more than I could ever need."

"They're yours now too, you know," she said as she stood, quickly coming over to you. She gave you a fond look before leaning over and kissing the crown of your head, "they're very fond of you, and it will be impossible to get rid of them. They're like a bad habit you can't quit.”

"I should be lucky to have them as a part of my life," you promised her, "they are already near and dear to my heart."

"And then we shan't keep them waiting any longer," she smiled, holding out her hand to you and helping you out of your chair. You nodded as she looped her arm through yours, "but, and please don't take this as me telling you what to do, but perhaps you should consider going to the Maester, healer someone, now. You have nothing to hide anymore, and it would be good just to get a check up. Sweet girl, even if you have made it up that you do not want any of your own, it is important to take care of yourself as well.”

"Yes," you agreed with a small nod. She had a fair point after all...even if it wasn't to confirm if you could or couldn't have children, it would be a good idea just to have everything looked at. It couldn't hurt anything and if nothing else, it would put your mind at ease, "now, let's go and get dirty and plant some flowers!"

»»————-　♡　————-«

"What's on your mind?" Oberyn's arm found its way around your shoulders as you subconsciously leaned into his side, resting your head on his shoulder. It was getting late, the sun had set and was replaced by the light glow of the moon and lanterns as everyone gathered in the gardens for dinner. The girls were long finished with dinner, running around and playing among themselves as everyone else engaged in jovial conversation.

"Nothing," you said softly, feeling your eyes growing heavier with each passing each second. It had been a long day and a belly full of wine and food wasn't helping either. You tried not to focus too much on the feeling of his fingers tracing soft patterns into your skin, sure that you would combust otherwise, "I was just thinking about how I don't want to leave."

"I feel the same way," he agreed quietly, "I'll miss these little hellions, but they'll be quite all right. It won't be months in between seeing them again."

"I should hope not," you agreed, looking up at him and grinning, wanting to say something else but were quickly stopped by a large yawn. He just chuckled lightly at you, those deep brown eyes watching you with what could only be described as adoration, "oops..."

"It's been a long day and we are departing in the early morrow," he reminded you, "perhaps we should get some sleep."

"Ever the voice of reason," you teased as he kissed your cheek. You reluctantly crawled out from under his arm, standing and stretching as he followed suit, "I suppose we should say our goodbyes now then? I wouldn’t want to wake them up so early, especially if we’re leaving before day break.”

“I think that’s the best idea as well,” he took your hand in his as he led you over to where all the girls were gathered. You could tell they were already getting tuckered out as well, especially Dorea and Loreza. The youngest ones were finding it harder and harder to keep their own eyes open as well.

"Papa!" Loreza exclaimed as soon as she spied Oberyn, stopping what she was doing and running over to him, throwing her little arms around him as tightly as she could. Before either of you could say anything, the small girl turned to you and hugged you just tightly, burrowing her little face into your skirts.

"What's wrong, sweetling?" you asked as you leaned down, gently tucking her loose strands of hair behind her ear. She always had a few tears welling up in her eyes as she frowned at you. Putting your own arms around her, you quickly hoisted her up and balanced her on your hip, "there's no reason to be upset, my love."

"I don't want you to leave," she pouted, her arms snaking around your neck as she held you close, "I'm going to miss you."

"I will miss you too, and so will your Papa," you promised her, "but you will only miss us for a day or so. You've got your Mama, and your sisters and everyone else here."

"Are we not fun enough for you anymore?" Obella teased her sister, laughing as she came over and gently perched a small flower crown on her head, "look I made a pretty crown! I should be your favorite sister...person ever!"

"What about me?" Dorea asked, jokingly glaring at her sister.

"I've got you covered," Elia sang as she joined you, placing a matching crown on her head. The older girls looked so pleased with themselves you couldn't help but smile. They'd become such a welcome part of your life, you really didn't want to say goodbye to them either; although Oberyn had already reminded you that it wasn't a goodbye, it was simply a see you soon.

"We'll miss you too," Elia promised looking between yourself and Oberyn, "who is going to spend their time helping me train? No one knows anything as much as Papa!"

"I think you know what you're doing," Oberyn wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him and pressing a kiss to the side of her head, "the next time I see you're going to be even better than me."

"Never," Dorea giggled at her sister, shrieking slightly as Elia started to chase after her, eventually managing to catch up and gently tackle her in the soft grass, "no one is as good as Papa!"

"I will be even better," Elia tickled her, causing the younger girl to giggle wildly. You couldn't help but giggle yourself, watching the chaotic scene unfold in front of you. You were going to miss this - them. All of them, including Ellaria.

"Do you really have to leave?" Obella asked softly, looking at you with an expression that so much reminded you of her father, "you can't stay?"

"I'm sorry, my love," he pulled her in right and hugged her tightly, "but do not worry, our separation will only be brief this time."

"Promise?" Loreza mumbled half asleep against your shoulder. You kissed the side of your head and held her close. What you didn't notice was how intently your husband was watching you, his heart melting at the sight of you being so gentle with the small girl. Even if he wouldn't have admitted it, having you get along with his daughters was incredibly important to him. And seeing how well you had bonded with them had stirred something within him...something he couldn't quite explain. But the look of pure love and adoration on his face said it all to anyone who saw it.

"I promise, we both do," you insisted, looking at Oberyn who just only nodded in response, "once we return to Sunspear, you'll have to come and see us. We'll do lots of fun things and you can stay as long as you desire."

"Really?!" Obella's face lit up as you exchanged a quick look with Oberyn as the two of you nodded.

"I think all the excitement got to this one," you said softly, resting your head on top of Loreza's head. The youngest had fallen asleep in your arms, still hanging onto you for dear life. You turned to Oberyn and he rested his hand on your cheek, his thumb delicately swiping over the high point. You leaned into his touch, flourishing under the warm touch of his hand as you wished this moment would never end.

"She has been ready for bed for some time," Ellaria beamed at the two of you as she came over. She glanced at the small girl in your arms, unsure how you didn't see what a natural you were when it came to children. There was something in her that was positive you possessed a strong maternal instinct, no matter how much you had denied it, "Obella, get your sisters and head inside. It's time to get ready for bed."

"Mama..." she said softly before turning to look back at the two of you. Ellaria remained silent but raised her eyebrows and the young girl understood. She sighed lightly before tightly hugging her father, not letting go for a long time. You were sure you saw the gentle glisten of tears in his eyes as whispered soft reassurances into her ear. Once he let her go, she turned to you and hugged just as tightly. She turned to you with light sniffles and whispered, "bye...bye Papa."

She went and fetched her sisters, both of which were also reluctant to say their goodbyes, even if it was only for a short time. You almost wished you could have just told them it was all a joke and you were staying.

Once the older girls were inside, Ellaria gently took Loreza from you, holding the young girl in her arms. She took your hand in her free one and gave it a gentle squeeze, before doing the same to Oberyn.

“Thank you for coming,” she offered her former lover a fond smile as he nodded, his heart feeling both heavier than he would have liked and lighter than it had in some time. He was happy to have come, having been able to spend time with his daughters, his family, but sad to leave. It was never easy to part with them, any of them. Oberyn snaked an arm around your waist and held you close as you tried to blink back your tears, that familiar burning feeling already welling up, “and you as well, sweet one. Despite our initial bit of rocky start, I am glad we have become friends. You are always welcome in our home.”

“Thank you for everything,” you smiled at her, your eyes meeting her dark ones, a bit of unspoken understanding flitting between the two of you. Ellaria had helped you in more ways than you could count, and you were relieved that things had ended so differently than they started, “I’m sure we’ll be taking you up on the offer whenever possible.”

“Of course,” she was glad to hear it, “and I’ll be taking you up on your offer and shipping these little monsters out to you as soon as you’ll have them. Goodness knows I could use a break from them. Peace and quiet, can you imagine? It has been ages since I’ve experienced either.”

“The girls are always welcome,” Oberyn promised, “as are you, Ellaria. You know that.”

“I do,” she promised. You couldn’t help but yawn lightly as the evening had thoroughly worn you down. Oberyn nudged you lightly towards the house, slightly telling you to get inside and head to bed. Jokingly sticking out your tongue at him, you decided that his idea wasn’t half bad as a deep tiredness started to affect your whole body. You gave Ellaria a tight hug, making sure not to disturb Loreza before heading inside for bed, already missing her and all the girls. It was strange, but they had quickly become such a steadfast staple in your life, and you never wanted to know life without them again.

Ellaria watched you go, a small smile on her face as she turned back to Oberyn. His eyes had been on you the entire time, which was most decidedly not lost on her. She leaned and kissed his cheek, reaching up and letting her linger on the side of his face, “you love her, you know.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he answered lamely, barely trying to hide the lie in his voice. She had him hook, line, and sinker, and he knew that she knew. Ellaria probably knew him better than even himself at times. She just raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled nervously, shrugging his shoulders, “maybe...I don’t know…”

“Perhaps you don’t,” she agreed with a self satisfied little smile, “but I do. Trust me, dear Oberyn. I can see it in you, and I can see it in her too. Give things time and trust me.”

“I’ve learned to trust you over the years, my dear,” he let out a small sigh, a mixture of content and almost fear. He hadn’t experienced any feelings like what he was currently going through for a long time, and if he was being honest, it was scary. Almost like an unknown abyss that he was plunging head first, and he had no clue what to expect at the bottom, “I suppose you are correct, and only time will tell.”

“She’s good for you,” Ellaria promised him, able to admit to herself that he seemed so lively, so happy with you in his life, “I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time. Don’t let her go. She has much to teach and you much to teach her. You will grow over the years together, just don’t...don’t think too much about it.”

“When is the last time I overthought anything?” he joked before they both burst into laughter.

“When isn’t?” she teased, “sometimes you don’t have to question everything so much, to analyze it so deeply. Sometimes you have to just let things be. And they will be okay; everything happens for a reason, after all. You were meant to find her and she was meant to find you as well. I know you don’t have much faith in anything, but just trust this.”

He found himself at a loss for words, swallowing the lump in his throat as he only nodded at her. Oberyn was a man of reason and logic; if he couldn’t explain it in tangible terms, he often didn’t believe it. But this? This strange attraction, perhaps even love as Ellaria had claimed, had come out of nowhere and so unexpectedly. He had fallen for you the way you fall asleep - slowly and then all at once. Although, he supposed, if he was really as smart and keen as he thought he was, he would have realized that something was bound to happen from the moment he laid eyes on you and almost felt his heart stop. He wondered if you felt the same, back then, or even now. He hoped you did; he hoped you were falling as hard for him as he was for you.

“Come on,” Ellaria put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, pulling him back into reality and out of his little daydream, “let’s get inside. You need to rest, quiet your mind and body, before your early departure, and I need to get the girls to bed.”

“You always were the one to bring me back to reality,” he said softly as he took her hand, trailing a step just behind her. He was glad that they had reached this point in their relationship - no longer lovers, but friends, the best of friends. Oberyn knew he could never live a life without Ellaria, and now he knew he didn’t have to. It was like everything was slowly, and perfectly falling into place.

“I’ll always be here to catch you,” she promised him, “always.”

»»————-　♡　————-«

You were sitting on the edge of your bed, legs tucked under you as you skimmed a few pages of the book you were reading. It was one from Oberyn’s personal collection that you had thought to grab just before leaving to come to Hellholt. You weren’t completely invested in your reading on this particular evening, simply running over the words as you listened intently for Oberyn’s light tread.

Eventually you ended up so preoccupied with trying to read, and the hundreds of thoughts in your mind that you completely missed the door opening and your husband stepping into the room.

“Hi,” he said softly as to not startle you, but it didn’t work. You almost dropped the book in surprise, but when you realized it was only him, you closed the book with a snap before turning to him. He was smiling at you, but you could tell there was something on his mind. A slight preoccupied look had crept into his eyes.

“What’s wrong, Oberyn?” you asked, standing up and walking over to him. He just shook his head lightly, watching you with the utmost softness before cradling your face in his hands. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he said nothing as he pressed his lips against yours, letting them linger there for a few moments. When he finally pulled away you just beamed at him, reminding him of just why you were his sunshine, “what was that for?”

“No reason,” he whispered, as you just lightly nudged him towards his bed. You sat back on the edge of yours, which happened to be across from his and watched him intently. He started to strip off his overcoat, followed by his tunic, leaving him in only his trousers. You tried not to stare, but it was hard not to let your eyes wander his body. His skin was sunkissed and golden, lightly freckled throughout, only a few scars marring what you considered perfection. Even with the scars, he was still beautiful, far more than any man you had ever seen before. He must have felt you staring because he turned around with a small, cheeky little smirk as he caught your eye, “what? Cat got your tongue?”

“N-no,” you lied as you felt a wave of warmth wash over you, almost embarrassed to have been caught staring. But this was your husband, you reminded yourself, you were allowed to look. He must have been something because just before he turned around to pull down his blankets, he shot you a wink. You burst into a fit of giggles at the gesture, the butterflies practically bursting in your stomach.

Standing back up, you closed the door to the balcony, and blew out all the lanterns, save for the one near his bedside. Slowly shuffling towards it, you paused in front of it, trying to take one last good look at him before crawling back into your own bed. Putting your hand on the small table, you leaned down to blow out the flicker, but his large hand worked its way onto your wrist, his grip firm, but tender.

“Leave it,” he insisted in a low voice, barely loud enough for you to hear, almost as if he was unsure of himself, “it can burn itself out.”

“A-are you sure?” with your luck, you could imagine something going wrong and catching fire, “I don’t want to accidentally start a fire…”

“Positive,” he insisted, “that way I can look at you.”

“Oberyn,” his name fell off your lips in a shaky whisper as he let go of your wrist and slowly moved to the other side of the bed. He pulled the blankets back and slowly looked between you and the space he had created. Your breath hitched in your throat as you realized what was happening. Naturally, sharing the bed was something that had often crossed your mind, even more so lately with how much closer and closer you were slowly growing. It was bound to happen at some point, but it still felt like a huge step, and your heart was racing so fast you were positive he could hear it.

Ever the good man that he was, Oberyn had left you with the choice. He would never, ever, force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. But you wanted this, almost desperately so, and it often took up many of your thoughts as you fell asleep at night. To finally get to know what it felt like to lie in his arms? The thought alone was enough to make you burst with excitement.

Nodding slowly, you brought your lightly trembling hands to the hollow of your throat, untying the bow that held together the light evening robe you had been sporting. You were wearing a very light nightgown underneath, a lovely shade of gold that was lacy in all the right places, and very sheer in others. It still left a little something to the imagination, but there were still nerves present as you let the robe softly drape into a pile on the floor.

Pausing for a moment, you felt Oberyn’s eyes all over you, taking every little part of you. It didn’t make you feel shy though, and once you caught his eye, you could see that he was observing with nothing but reverence.

“You are beautiful,” he said softly as you just shook your head, playing it off as you slowly climbed into the large plush bed. Once you were over your initial nerves, you laid down, relaxing and laying your head on one of the soft pillows. He reached down and pulled the blankets back up, helping to ward off the light chill of the cool evening breeze. Oberyn paused and gently touched your face, tracing over your features with a feather light touch, stopping when he reached your lips, “I mean it, sweet sunshine, you are beautiful, in every way.”

“Do you feel obligated to say that because I am your wife and we are sharing a bed?” you mused softly, “because if so, you are under no obligation to say anything. Or do you mean it?”

“Of course I mean it,” he promised firmly, “I am many things, but I am not a liar. I have thought that since I first laid eyes on you.”

“Oh,” you felt warm all over, suddenly glad for only the light bit of illumination that the single lantern allowed, “I....I feel the same way.”

“You think you’re beautiful as well?” he joked lightly, dropping his hand from your face and slowly, gently, draping it over your waist, almost as if he was testing the waters to make sure you were okay with it. You didn’t stop him, melting under the feel of his touch, subconsciously scooting closer to him, “as you should.”

“You are a fool, Oberyn Martell,” you laughed, swatting lightly at his chest, letting your hand linger so you could touch as much of his skin as possible, “I do not think more highly of myself than I need to. But you? You are the most handsome Prince of all. The rumors did not do you justice, they never captured the full extent of your beauty and grace.”

“Now who is flattering who?” he asked as he pulled you closer, causing you to laugh, the sound already beloved by him, like sweet music reaching his ears.

The two of you laid in silence for some time, watching each other with curious, inquisitive eyes, letting your hands roam, but keeping it sweet and pure. You would be lying to yourself if you said you said you hadn’t thought about this, about making love to him, many times before. But not tonight. No - this felt right. The rest would come later...there was no reason to rush anything. For now, this was perfect, this was everything.

You exchanged a few lazy, slow kisses as you felt your eyes and body getting heavier and heavier with sleep. Eventually, despite your best efforts, you fully succumbed to sleep, all the while Oberyn watched you with what could only be described as pure adoration. He pushed a few stray hairs off your face before pressing light butterfly kisses to your forehead, cheeks, nose, and stopping at your lips. You made a small sound, but your eyes remained closed as he pulled you against his chest, his arm wrapped tightly around you.

Oberyn couldn’t even remember the last time he had been this happy, this content before. He closed his own eyes, letting out a small sigh as he realized how much his heart had been calling for this. How his soul had been searching for yours for so long. Now that he finally had it, he was never going to let go.

“Good night, sweet girl,” he whispered softly so only he could hear it, despite the fact that you were already fast asleep, “I love you.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#oberyn martell x reader #oberyn martell #oberyn x reader #prince oberyn x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #in name only

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spike-and-faye · 4 years

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Hello, I require your infinite wisdom please!! :O So I just finished cowboy bebop and I am so confused like who the fuck was Julia. WHAT was Faye's past. I literally never process tv shows and the bebop was not immune to my stupidity LMAO like... I guess the ending just really confused me, from what I gathered Spike and Vicious were friends? But then they weren't? And Julia dated Vicious but also Spike? And he? Went after Vicious even after Julia had died? I am Confusion. Please help. Thank u...

Oh BABEY I am so glad you asked! :) Be prepared for a long answer and I apologize in advance for how incoherent it will probably be.

ALSO Please note: this show is fucking complicated. I have watched it all the way through several times a year, every single year, for over a decade now, and I am *STILL* finding new shit every time I watch it. It's packed with symbols, motifs, allusions and underlying themes that are just so rich. It is so extraordinarily well-written that it could give a lot of classic literature a run for its money. I'm literally working on an in depth literary/film analysis my husband lovingly calls my Manifesto on the series right now. SO PLEASE don't beat yourself up about not catching everything on the first go round.

HEY BTW for anyone who hasn't finished the show, please know there will be MANY spoilers ahead!

Anyways ~

1. Spike / Julia / Vicious:

The information we get on Spike's past, including Vicious and Julia, is pretty limited considering how big of an impact they have on the story. We get our first glimpse in Session 1: Asteroid Blues, then again in Session 5: Ballad of Fallen Angels, Sessions 12 + 13: Jupiter Jazz, and Sessions 25 + 26: Real Folk Blues. I recommend reviewing these episodes for you Julia and Vicious fix.

What we know:

Spike and Vicious were both members of an organized crime syndicate called the Red Dragons, which is roughly analogous to the Yakuza or the Mafia. Their positions in the organization are not clear, but there are some images alluding to them being hitmen, and they likely rose up in the ranks as they were close acquaintances of Mao Yenrai, a Capo of the Red Dragon.

Spike and Vicious were close comrades. Spike taught Vicious everything he knew about fighting, and the two had a deep trust in each other. Which Spike fucked up ….

^^Vicious looks hot asf here

Julia was Vicious' lover/girlfriend. One night in 2068 (three years prior to the time we watch in the Bebop) Spike is injured, presumably from a syndicate-related fight and he passes out in front of her door. She takes him in and nurses him back to health and he SIMPS HARD for her. We’re all but told he's in LOVE love with her. They start an affair, and Spike tells her he's ready to abandon the whole life - the syndicate, Vicious, Mao, all of it - and they could run away together.

WELL Vicious finds out about this whole affair, and is DOUBLY betrayed because his literal best friend and girlfriend have been having an affair, and tbh I think he was just as jealous of Spike's attentions as he was of Julia's. (Whether or not it’s a sexual thing for Spike … well … I have my own headcanons about that). SO when he finds out they're going to run away together, he gives Julia an ultimatum: you can either kill him, or I'll just kill you both. Spike had written her a letter about meeting him in the graveyard to start their new life together, which she tears up to hide his location from Vicious. (This is the falling ripped up pieces of paper we see in Spike's flash back in Session 5).

^^ r/gifsyoucanhear

**NOTE: There are those who disagree with this view, (looking at you Cowboy Bebop wiki) instead suggesting Vicious and Spike were buds in the past, but then hated each other once they were both considered as potential successors to Mao. That's why Vicious wanted him dead, and he was enlisting Julia (who he didn't necessarily have a romantic connection to) to help kill Spike since he knew Spike loved her. Personally, I think there is plenty of evidence that Vicious also wanted Julia, and in fact was already with her, when Spike started seeing her. If you want me to cite my sources please send an me an ask about it :)

Spike gets the idea, whether by her just not showing up or word around the syndicate being like YO Vicious wants you dead. Despite Vicious' ultimatum to Julia, he was gunna kill Spike either way. SO he sets up an ambush, and SadBoy™ Spike walks intentionally into their trap. Somehow, he doesn't die, though the entire syndicate thinks he did. (Note Annie's reaction to seeing him alive in Session 5). It’s also implied that this is where he lost his eye.

HIS EYE - possibly the most important symbol in the show so I do have to mention it. In episode 26, he explicitly explains to Faye that one of his eyes only sees the past. (PS this isn't dissimilar to Jet's arm… we can get into that another time). Basically, he's constantly living halfway in the past and halfway in the present, and describes the past like a dream he can never wake up from. Because dysfunctional or not - the syndicate WAS his family. (Again - see his relationship with Annie, Mao, and Vicious (prior to Spike's betrayal)). It's his reminder that Julia didn't run away with him, and that he'd left behind that life for her. (He didn’t know she was being threatened until the final episode). Basically Spike is hyper-fixated on what he had and what could've been.

Not long after this, Spike starts bounty hunting because like? What else is he going to do. He doesn't care if he lives or dies but if he has to be alive, he may as well be able to eat. He joins up with Jet Black on the Bebop.

TL; DR: Spike stole Vicious' lover, Julia, so Vicious made Julia choose between her killing Spike or Vicious killing them both. She instead went into hiding and Spike thought he'd been stood up. He fake died and got the hell outta dodge.

2. What was Faye's past?

Ok let me start by saying Faye is my wife and my life. HOWEVER I hated her the first time I watched this show circa age 13 because I thought she was annoying/vain/shallow (also because #internalizedmisogyny lol am I right fam). Good news! She is all those things! But she's also very lonely and scared and an amnesiac and secretly a sweetie and she realizes she loves the crew of the Bebop like family.

SO my wife's backstory:

she was born in the 1990s (#only90skidsremember). There's some debate over her race/nationality, but due to the images of her hanging out in Merlion Park in Singapore, my bet is that she's Singaporean. She comes from a wealthy family with a big house, and we see some utterly *adorable* film of her as a child/young adolescent in Session 18: Speak Like a Child. I cry everytime </3

^^ Holla for the representation

In 2014, circa age 20, she and her parents were going into space when the shuttle they were on had some kind of malfunction/accident and it killed an unknown number of people, including her parents. At the time, the technology didn’t exist to be able to save her, so she was put into a cryogenic sleep state. Meanwhile, the Lunar Gate accident occurs, breaking up the moon and causing rock showers on Earth's surface. Most people died, moved to Mars, or settled underground.

She wakes up from her cryogenic sleep in 2068. (Also the year Spike leaves the syndicate.) She's 'woken' by the corrupt Dr. Bacchus who plans on charging her for the years and years of medical debt she's accrued. (See Session 15: My Funny Valentine.) Luckily a lawyer takes interest in her case (Whitney Haggus Matsumoto) and tries to help get rid of her debt. The two fall in love, but turns out Whitney is a Scumbag. He's actually Dr. Bacchus's nephew, and faked his death, writing Faye as the sole inheritor to his will. This means she'll take on all his debts. So baby girl has LOTS of debt at this point.

In the intervening years prior to her joining the Bebop, she gambles, cheats, gains a lot of street smarts, and adopts a very seductive character to get her way. She joins the crew on the Bebop in Session 3: Honky Tonk Women.

TL;DR: Faye is Austin powers

YIKES this is so long I am so sorry. Bitches are obsessed with this show. (I am bitches)

3. The Ending

Okay I'm going to present this in the way, in my scholarly opinion, would be correct, though there are SO many interpretations other than simply 'Spike died :/".

To understand the plot of the last couple episodes we actually have to go back to Session 5: Mao is instructed* to sign a treaty with a rival syndicate called the White Tigers. (*He's instructed by The Van (Council of identical creepy old men) who are the actual head of the dragon. I think we only see them in Session 26.) Well - Vicious is a Bastard Man and he and his fellow mutineers blow up the White Tiger guys' ship and slit Mao's throat. Before he dies, Mao is like "Gotdamnit if Spike was still here this shit wouldn't have happened." Later in the Cathedral battle, Vicious explains to Spike he killed Mao because Mao 'lost his fangs'. He planned on killing Spike for good her, IMO, so there'd be no rival to take over as Capo for the Dragons.

^^These guys are The Van btw

THEN in Session 25, the Van basically catches Vicious and is like “you killed Mao and now you have to go to Time Out.” The Van also decides to just kill everyone associated with Vicious, just 2 B safe. That's why there's a big ass shootout at the Loser Bar where Jet and Spike are chilling, drinking, (missing Faye and Ed and Ein lol) and Shin (younger brother to Lin, who's helping Vicious overthrow the Dragon) explains all this to Spike. OH and PS JULIA IS ALIVE AND HERE IS HER LOCATION :). (**Notice Spike's reaction at this point is different than his reaction in Jupiter Jazz when he hears there's a Julia on Calisto. Much less excited… hmm…).

SO THEN you know we get some flashbacks of the past as previously explained *and* Julia just happens to run into Faye. She recognizes that Faye is one of Spike's friends from the Bebop (she was keeping tabs on him it seems) and picks her up. Faye doesn't know who Julia is but is like damn bitch I'm a little gay for you. (I mean … that may just be my bi ass projecting, but Faye is REALLY struck with her. Look at how she describes her to Jet, I mean come on.)

Faye's like, 'we should team up' and Julia says 'no thanks but also tell Spike to meet me at *the place*'. Meanwhile back on the Bebop Spike and Jet are talking and Spike goes on about some dream woman who was his other half. (We assume he means Julia … I have my reasons to doubt this … I have a lot of angry DMs about my opinion here lol but I just do not give a fuck (: I can expand on this in another post or you can refer to the title of my fucking blog haha) Personally, I think Watanabe personally left this specific scene open ended, the same way he does with the ending and various other things.

more like SIMP Spiegel

ANYWAY Faye comes back to the Bebop to tell Spike about Julia, and Jet gets intel from a former cop buddy that there's some shit going down with the Dragons. (Again, the Van is hunting down everyone ever associated with Vicious, including your pal Spike). Bebop is attacked, Faye tells Spike what's up with Julia, and he heads out.

PAN TO VICIOUS chained up - about to be executed - but what's that!? It's a bird!? It's a pla- no it's just a bird. (With one glowing red eye … hm … reminds me of Spike, also the drug Red Eye. Pls let me know if you have any thoughts on this). Just a bird with a BOMB! Explosion (RIP bird c. 2065 - too soon), Vicious kills the elders, his buddies show up and are ready to go fuck shit up.

this show could not be more of an aesthetic

MMMPhhh okay RAINY CEMETERY. Spike and Julia. She draws a gun, explains why she didn't meet him that day, and then hugs him. Now Spike is not *great* at showing his emotions but he literally just stands there. Maybe it's a stoic expression of how sad he is that he never knew she still cared, when it seemed like she dumped him. Maybe he's finally getting some closure on his past. Maybe the past doesn't mean the same thing it used to. (I'll elaborate later on this).

They go to Annie's to get stocked up on stuff, she lets them know she denied knowing Spike was still alive and hey also the Van was assassinated by Vicious and his guys so. Watch out for that. Then her shop is surrounded by Vicious' guys and she dies :(. Spike and Julia escape to the roof, but she's shot and dies in Spike's arms, and says 'it's all just a dream' :(. (Refer to: Spike living in a dream of the past).

Anyway Jet SAID he wasn't gunna go after Spike but. Jet's parental instincts kick in (oh yeah he was shot in the leg earlier btw) and he goes to Sitting Bull to see if he knows where Spike is. He basically says yeah Spike's about to die somewhere. (I want to do a further analysis on all the Sitting Bull scenes.) Well conveniently Spike returns to the Bebop, eats, tells his story about a tiger-striped cat. (At one point Jet asks if he's going there for her, and Spike is like well she's dead now so whatever). THEN we get to the scene where Faye is like HEY YOU CAN'T GO OFF AND DIE ASSHOLE and he's like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I 've been living in the past so I might as well see if I'm living now. (**This will play heavily into my interpretation of the ending). Faye is pissed, shoots the ceiling and he goes off to the syndicate headquarters to fuck shit up.

He basically John Wicks his way through the building, Shin dies, he and Vicious have the big boss battle and whatnot. He kills Vicious and stumbles back out down the stairs and says "Bang!" and collapses. We pan to the sky and see a star fade away.

Well that explains the plot … now here's what I think happened!!! ALSO may I mention, anon - you picked up on something I feel like a lot of people miss out on. Why *did* Spike go back to kill Vicious if Julia was already dead??

Basically, once it became clear that anyone associated with Vicious was being killed, Spike knew they'd hunt him down, and they weren't beneath Kill-Billing their way to him, (i.e. systematically destroying this companions to get to him). And for all his apparent indifference - he really loves his new found family. Jet is literally like an older brother to him. Ed is a little sister. Ein is well … a very good boy. And Faye? Well the relationship is complicated, and I'm not going to get into the 69,420 reasons I ship them here, but I think it is beyond argument that he really does care for her, even if that just in a filial way. He didn't want the syndicates to kill them for their association to him, or in order to get to him. So he did what he had to do to protect them. *AND NO* I am not saying that he didn't love Julia. But it was clear that his desire was no longer to run away with her. I think he genuinely loved and cared about her, but at some point between Jupiter Jazz Pt 2 and now, he accepted that their time together was over. Now he had a new raison d'etre, which is the Bebop.

I think at this point Spike has 'woken up' to reality (as he implied to Faye in their final conversation in episode 26: "Look at these eyes. One of them is a fake, because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I had believed that what I saw was not all of reality...I thought I was watching a dream that I would never awaken from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." (This is from the sub btw I'm too lazy to look up the dub transcript.) He wasn't going there to die, he's going to find out if he's really alive. This line is fucking cool and everything - but it's implications are multitude. I won't go into them all here but basically : what makes him alive now is that he's free from his past. He's alive because he has this new family and protecting them is all he really wants now. Spike was protecting Jet, Faye, Ed, (and Ein) by going and facing the entire syndicate, knowing that their lives would all be in danger.

SO - did Spike die? Well again - Watanabe has purposely and artfully left this open ended. Well, if we're following the symbolism from Sitting Bull, then yeah, the man is as dead as disco, and wouldn't that be a fitting ending? BUT at the same time, Spike always refers to having 'died' before (meaning when he was ambushed by the syndicate, and they all thought he died, and he pretty much did). Don't forget that in movie (takes places roughly between episodes 22 + 23, and yes, was made AFTER the series but whatever) he like .. DIES dies. He goes to the afterlife and everything. He wakes up to find he's chilling with Sitting Bull, who's like nah it wasn't your time to die yet. So the fact Sitting Bull confirms Spike will die in the final episode, means yeah, Spike is pretty much dead.

BUT -- okay now hear me out -- could this death in the final episode be a death to his previous life? The person he was in the syndicate? Now that he's extinguished the Red Dragons for good, is it not possible that its merely *that* life which has ended? That's the optimist in me saying that, but if it keeps me from staying up all night crying, I guess it'll have to do. Watanabe definitely wants to leave it up to the viewer, so whatever you think, I feel like there's validity to it.

WELL any anon, sorry for the fucking lecture - and believe me, I could've said MUCH, MUCH more - but I enjoyed this question. I always love talking about this show so please all you fuckers feel free to message me or send an ask about anything any time. I am really slow at replying because #life'sAbitch.

Love you all.

SY,SCB <3

#sorry for the long ass rant #i could seriously talk about this all day.#i even trimmed this down so much #cowboy bebop #fuck man this show is everything #spike spiegel #julia #faye valentine #jet black #vicious #radical ed #ein #<3 #spoilers #rant

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sisterspooky1013 · 3 years

Text

Damsels, Chapter Eight: They Don’t Want to be Found

By SisterSpooky1013 / Read previous chapters here

Rated E / Tagging @today-in-fic

Mulder calls in to work the next day, too sleep deprived and mentally exhausted to function. After sleeping until nearly noon, he gets back in his car and returns to Philly. He checks into a hotel that’s just a few blocks from the club and then spends the next several hours trying to watch TV, trying to read, and jacking off picturing Scully topless. A short time later, he jacks off again, this time imagining what he’ll see tonight.

He isn’t really sure what he’s doing or why he’s here. The best excuse he can cook up is that she doesn’t have a weapon and he’s protecting her, but realistically he knows she can take care of herself. Is it really just perversion, that he wants to see her…exposed? What will he say if she spots him? He can imagine her level of mortification if she knew he was here, that he’d seen her, and he feels guilt churn in his gut. She might never forgive him for this.

He knows it’s wrong, but he can’t seem to stop himself from going back. He has to see her again.

Scully had lay awake for hours after Angel left, thinking about what had happened, wondering how it happened in the first place. She’s on a case, how stupid could she be? What if it comes to light that she’s become involved with a witness in the case? She might be suspended. At least then maybe they’d never ask her to do something like this again. What if Mulder finds out? Would he feel betrayed somehow? Would it turn him on?

Somewhere around 6 am, she had finally caved in and slid her hand down the front of her panties, groaning when she felt how wet she was. She swirled her finger around her clit, using her own arousal as lubricant, and imagined what might have happened if Angel’s phone hadn’t rung. Would Angel have touched her? With her hands, or her mouth? Maybe both. Would she have touched Angel? She was approaching the brink just thinking about it. She stopped suddenly, remembering something, and grabbed the bullet vibrator from her bedside table, switching it on and pressing it to her clit as she plunged the middle finger of her other hand as far inside herself as she could reach. Within 30 seconds she was unravelling, images of Angel and Mulder dancing in her head as her walls clamped tightly around her finger. Finally, she had slept.

She manages to sleep until nearly three in the afternoon again, then spends the day getting her nails done, reading, and devising a plan for how she might look through the files in that closet. Without knowing what’s in them, she has no way of gaging whether Ricky is likely to notice if she takes a few at a time and returns them later. Worse still, Lexie is working tonight and that gives any risk she takes the potential to blow the whole investigation. She’s positive that given one more red flag, Lexie will sing like a canary. The silver lining is that Angel won’t be at work for the next three days, so they can get some space from what happened between them.

The evening is mostly business as usual, and she’s a bit horrified to realize that this is becoming as dull and predictable as any other job. She lets her mind wander while she flexes and rolls over horny married men, wondering what Mulder is up to, whether he’s worried about her or even misses her. Part of her wonders if he might realize that his life is less complicated without her, and that he prefers it that way. She feels an ache in her chest, a bit further north than she has grown accustomed to, and realizes how much she misses him.

When he enters the club, she’s at the bar. Half her torso is resting on the bar top as she shouts to be heard by the bartender, who’s laughing at whatever she’s saying. The position she’s in pops her barely covered ass out prominently behind her and his eyes go big at how exposed she is, and how comfortable she seems with it. Her bare breasts are smushed against the lacquered countertop and he feels his cock twitch thinking about how hard her nipples will be when she stands up. Unfortunately, it would be too risky to stick around and find out, so he tugs his ball cap lower and finds a table in the back. The dancers never seem to come back here for some reason.

He keeps his head trained towards one of the other dancers at all times, while his eyes follow Scully’s every move. If he knows one thing, it’s that Scully can feel his eyes on her, so he needs to be careful. His disguise is painfully basic and all it would take is one solid look for her to know it’s him. He watches her give a lap dance to a blushing young woman, a soft smile on her face the whole time, and he can’t decide if he’s more turned on or touched by how hard she’s working to make the woman feel comfortable. The aching hard-on in his jeans suggests the former.

This time he’s mentally prepared for her stage set, and also realizes she can barely see beyond the tip rail with all the stage lights on her, so he lets himself enjoy it. He’s known from the moment he met her that Scully is beautiful, sexy, incredible in every way imaginable, but he never could have imagined her moving like this. She’s so graceful and captivating. He lets himself block out all the other jerks who are leering at her, stuffing bills into her underwear, and just watches her. His Scully. She’s ethereal.

“Seems like you’ve found your ATF,” a voice to his left startles him from his reverie.

“Huh?” he turns to see the same waitress who’d served him last night, clad in a fishnet body suit.

“You were here last night, right? You like Desi?”

He panics. “No! I mean, yes. But, don’t send her over here or anything.”

She nods in understanding. “You like to watch. That’s cool, whatever floats your boat, man. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Yeah, can I get a Captain and Coke?” He walked here, why not enjoy himself, right?

Four drinks for him and ten lap dances for her later, he stumbles into the balmy night and back to his hotel room where he jacks off again. Twice.

Everyone is trickling out slowly at the end of what has been a busy shift. Scully takes her time counting her tips, sharing a cut with her bird dog and the bartender on shift tonight. While she would not say that she likes working here by any stretch of the imagination, her coworkers at the club are her only source of socialization and (with the exception of Lexie) she truly enjoys their company. She’s helping one of the custodial staff, a wiry young man they called Don Juan, put up the chairs on the club floor so he can mop when Ricky approaches her.

“Desi, can I see you in my office, please?” He has a somber demeanor that concerns her.

“Um, sure, of course.�� She bids the young man farewell and follows Ricky down the hall. He closes the door behind them and she feels her heart start to race.

Ricky sits down behind his desk and motions for her to take a seat across from him. She’s reminded of her first day here and the feelings of fear and anticipation.

“I need to ask you something, Desi, and I want to make sure you don’t mention it to the other girls.”

“Okay,” she responds, taking shallow breaths to obscure the fact that she’s afraid.

“Angel told me what happened.”

Her mouth falls open but no words come out. Is she in trouble for kissing Angel?

“That’s why she was so upset the other night, when you saw her in here. She told me that she’d talked to you about her past a bit,” he shakes his head ruefully. “Some gall those dirtbags have, shaming her for being sexual in any way, then coming to a titty club on the sly.”

She breathes a sigh of relief. “Right, yes, the people who came in. She was very upset. “

“It was really nice of you to spend some time with her after work. Anyway, I gave her a few nights off. She needs a break.”

Scully nods. “You wanted to ask me something?”

“Right! So, Angel is my right hand gal, she helps me with a lot of stuff around here. With her being out, I wanted to ask you to kind of be her backup, if you will.”

For a moment she’s afraid Ricky is asking her to perform some kind of sexual favor, but she recalls that Angel had said he’s gay. “What did you have in mind?” she asks hesitantly.

“Well mostly, I wanted to give you a set of keys for the club. Angel has one, in case something happens to me and I’m not here to open and close the doors, stuff like that.”

A set of keys? Scully feels a flush of adrenaline. “Of course, I can do that.”

“That’d be great, Desi. I know you haven’t been with us all that long, but you seem pretty trustworthy, at least compared to the other girls. Like I mentioned, I’m hoping we can keep this between us, just so there are no hurt feelings from anyone who’s been here longer than you.”

Her heart is pounding with excitement at the opportunity to gain access to those files. “Is there an alarm code or something I should know about?” She recalls a sign on the door for ADT.

Ricky dismisses her concern with a flick of his wrist. “No, nothing like that. I should get one, but I just pilfered those signs from my buddy to scare off vagrants.”

She nods in understanding.

“Ninety-nine percent chance nothing will happen and there’ll be no need, but thanks for being on deck, just in case,” he says as he hands her a playboy bunny shaped keychain with a single key dangling from it.

Scully smiles at him. “I’m more than happy to help.”

After she leaves the club, she first goes home to stash her tips and change into comfortable, dark clothes, and then gets a big cup of coffee and a disposable camera from the 7-11 near her apartment.

By the time she’s lurking in the corner of the club’s parking lot, watching the door, it’s nearly 4am and there’s still a light on inside the foyer. She sips her coffee and waits, shuffling her feet to keep warm. Finally at 4:50, Denny and Ricky emerge, locking the door behind them. After they leave the parking lot, Scully waits another 20 minutes before she creeps around the perimeter of the lot and approaches the door. Glancing around to be sure no one is watching her, she turns the key and steps inside, locking it behind her.

The quiet stillness is eerie in contrast to the throbbing hive of activity it had been earlier in the night and she flicks on her flashlight, making her way to Ricky’s office. She fits the same front door key into the lock and sighs in relief when it turns. Ricky’s security standards aren’t incredibly high, apparently, but in this case it’s to her advantage. She tries the key on the hallway closets just in case, to no avail, and returns to the office. Navigating to his desk, she pulls open drawers quickly, scanning their contents. Nothing is of interest, and she’s disappointed though not surprised that his keys to other areas of the club aren’t in here. That makes things more challenging, but not impossible. She’s spent her days off at the library researching how to pick locks, including buying a lock picking kit and some padlocks at the local hardware store to practice with, and she feels relatively confident she can get this door open without a key. She might just have to be the one to pick the lock next time she and Mulder have the need. She smiles to herself knowing how impressed he’d be.

Back in the hallway, she pulls the small lock picking kit out of her back pocket and kneels in front of the door, the pen light perched between her teeth. She studies the lock and then inserts a torque wrench at the bottom, turning it slightly to put resistance in the direction it will spin when unlocked. From the kit, she selects a straight, flat pick and runs it from back to front at the top of the keyhole a couple times. Next she exchanges it for a pick with a curved end, pushing it as far back and high as she can reach as she holds her ear close to the lock in the stony silence of the hallway. Bumping against the pins inside the lock, she listens and feels for a small click or give that indicates the pin has settled in its unlocked position. She continues this until she counts five pins clicking into place, then removes the pick and turns the torque wrench.

The lock releases with a soft click and she laughs out loud as the door swings open, beyond pleased with herself. Stepping into the closet, there’s enough room for her to close the door behind her and she does so, pulling a cord to turn on the overhead light. Taking stock of the beige bank of file cabinets, she works top to bottom, left to right, and immediately feels her heart sink when the first four drawers she tries are empty. Would this be yet another dead end? When the fifth drawer snicks open, she sees a small set of files hanging towards the back. She quickly checks all the other drawers so she’ll have a good idea of how much material she has to review, but they’re all empty.

She pulls the files out and sits down with them on the floor, setting the disposable camera near her thigh. There are eight folders nestled inside the hanging file, each one with a set of initials on the tab. The first one is marked “G.A.” and inside she finds an intake form, a personal statement that’s filled out by hand, and a release of liability form. The intake form is sparse and includes nearly no identifying information. The name is listed as simply GA and the fields below it include “entry date,” “exit date,” “reason for sheltering,” and “responsible individual.” On the form for GA, the entry and exit date are both a year and a half prior, about six months apart. Reason for sheltering is listed as “threat of violence-domestic,” and the responsible individual reads “brother.” She turns to the second page, which contains GA’s personal statement.

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