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wh1msic4lwasab1 · 6 months

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𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

synopsis: you yearn to step onto the sand, relinquish your tail for just a moment and experience the world above. You find a man capable of granting you your wish, but there’s something wrong.

tags: mermaid reader, fingering, penetration, beach sex, vulgar, explicit.

wrd cnt: 1.6k

a/n NOT PROOFREAD: i had to get a little creative bc i was researching mermaid intercourse bruh i was deep in the google trenches…hope this is still good !

The moon shines down beneath the crystal clear waters, casting a mesmerizing glow on the vibrant coral reefs and schools of colorful fish. You were no stranger to this enchanting underwater world. But today, as you swam through the familiar marine life, your thoughts were consumed with a longing for something more. You had heard stories of a new world above the surface, a world where creatures with two legs roamed and breathed air instead of water. It was a world that both intrigued and terrified you.

As you gazed up at the shimmering surface, you couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have shed your tail and explore this foreign land. But as a mermaid, it was only a dream, a distant desire that seemed impossible to fulfill. But little did you know, fate had other plans in store for you.

As you continued to swim along the coast to catch a glimpse of the stars, you find a man with long silver hair walking above the earths hide.

You try to conceal yourself in the night, but he takes quite a quick notice of you.

You get startled from his gaze, but his eyes shine a shade of blue so vibrant they hold you inbetween currents like a fish on a hook.

“Hello there, do not worry, I won’t hurt you”. The man says to you from above, his hands infront of him to show you his good intentions.

You swim up the sand, letting the water glide you up onto a rock, letting your tail lay on the sand; draped over.

He kneels down, “Are you okay?”. You’re avast ways from your home, but you couldn’t miss a chance to actually talk to a human.

”Yes, yes I’m alright.” You began to study his features like a predator ready to strike; his winged-lashes flickering.

You’ve never met a human before, you’d heard stories of the good and bad nature of them, but he seemed different. “You’re a mermaid.” His question sounding more like an awestruck statement. You nod slowly, unsure of his reaction.

“Amazing, I’ve been told your kind had ceased ever since tales of the property emerged. I never thought I’d get to see one again.” He says with a sense of wonder and disbelief.

You can feel your face conform at his words, “Again? Whats is your name?” you ask, suddenly breaking out of his trance.

“Neuvillette. I may look it, but I am not human. I’ve lived many years, and befriended many of your kind. I am just glad to be given the reassurance of your resilience”. He says with honesty.

“Thank you- I am y/n”. You finally tell him.

“Beautiful. What brings you to the coast?” He wonders out loud.

“I’m- just curious. I wished to take a look upon the world above me.”

“Curiosity can lead us to great adventures,” Neuvillette said, his eyes full of admiration as he gazed at you. “But it can also bring us trouble. You are brave to venture to the surface alone.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words, feeling a sense of pride swell within you. “I couldn’t resist the urge to explore. And now, I have found something much more intriguing than just the surface world,” you said, your eyes flickering to Neuvillette’s lips.

He seemed to sense your desire and stepped closer to you, his hand reaching out to caress your cheek. “And what might that be?” he whispered, his voice low and sensual.

“I wish for legs…” You confess, teasing the handsome stranger just a bit.

“And you think I can grant them to you?”

“You are the hydro dragon, aren’t you? I couldn’t quite out my finger on it. But we have a many great tales about you…and your abilities.”

“You are correct. But I must warn you, it could be an unpleasant first feeling.”

“But you can do it?!” You flap your tail in excitement a few times, the hair that covers your wet and exposed chest flaling around as you wait for his confirmation.

“I can…but I must be here to supervise you. A lot can go wrong, and the people of this land may not all be so accepting”. He warns.

You take time to consider the need for your yearning, but still you hold onto the dream you desire so deeply.

“I’m sure of this.”

He releases a deep sigh, “Alright, please allow me.”

With his large palms, he picks you up off the rock; his hand under your slippery tail and holding you bridal style to sit you onto his lap.

You apologize about ruining his clothes with the salty sea water, but he pays no mind.

“Don’t look down. Simply look up here.” He commands, holding your gaze with his own as he soothes the length of your tail, speaking whispers you can’t transcribe, slowly feeling your body half lighten exponentially.

You suddenly feel a weight lifted off you, and look down with his permission.

Your face lights up, and you feel as if you’re dreaming. As if any moment now you’ll wake up under the sea foam and find yourself with a tail.

But this was real, and you thanked the man with everything in you.

“You’re welcome, but remember that there are still-“

“Arghh- Something’s wrong…”

His eyebrows furrow, not seeing anything physically wrong with you which only makes him more worried.”

“What’s wrong my dear?” He says, trying to be respectful and looking away from your naked body.

“Something’s feeling- so hot.” You squirm, looking to him for help.

“Guide me to where you need.”

Taking his hand in yours, you trail him over your stomach before placing it on your growing heat, making his hand cup your crotch.

“Right here” you plead.

His face was covered in deep red, unable to speak.

“That- is quite unusual…I’ve never seen that happen. Does it hurt?” He says with true concern, trying to conceal his arousal.

You shake your head, unable to describe what it felt.

“What is this? Have you ever felt this?”

Neuvillettes voice hitches as he’s even more embarrassed and trying to find the right words to explain what you feel.

“Well, not this exactly no. But, I think I understand the issue”.

He casts a shadow over you, his large body coming close to whisper something in your ear.

“You’re feeling arousal, and there’s only one way to get rid of it.”

You feel a lump in your throat, eyes locked into his as you feel even more helpless.

“Please…” You plead, grinding your hips towards his hand, “Help me get rid of it…”

He smiles down at you, spreading your wet lips apart, “It would be my pleasure, sweet mermaid.”

With a gentle tug, he pushes your back onto the rock you were sat on earlier.

He parts your legs and keeps the bottoms of your thighs on top of his, giving him a good view of his fingers delving into your tight hole.

“Mmfph- that feels…so good”. You confess.

His hand moves your hair behind your neck, your chest fully on display as his free hand squeezes your mounds and roll your nipples under his fingertips, giving you two sources of pleasure unknown to you before.

“Neuvillette- I need more.” You beg, putting your hand on top of his, making him squeeze your breast harder.

“Anything for you, y/n.” He flashes a small smile before putting your hand on growing bulge.

“This is what is going to help you find your release, sweetheart.”

He helps you unzip his pants, and out springs his cock; falling right into your grasp.

Your eyes widen, it felt so big in your hands you didn’t possibly know what to do with it.

He helped you pleasure him, making your hand stroke him up and down as he thrusted into your palm.

“You’re so gentle…such a sweet thing.”

You feel your cunt drool even more, something so unknown to you made you feel so feral.

He positions himself at your entrance, kneeling perfectly before you with your legs wrapped around him.

“This…goes right in here.” He grunts out, pushing his thick, veiny cock fully into your perfect cunt and hearing your pleasure heighten quickly in the form of moans and gasps.

He started with slow, deep thrusts; getting you used to his size and the feeling of your own hole stretching.

You felt like you could pass out if he didn’t keep going, the ambiance of waves crashing against the rock behind you and the sounds of your wet skin slapping together drove you wild. The sea water brushed against your ass but his tongue slid against yours in such a manner that made your entire body feel like it was under the sun.

“Do you like how this feels?” He asks, grunting in your ear and whimpering at how your cunt squeezes him.

You nod profusely, thanking him about a million times as he keeps fucking you on the sand, holding your waist and trialing sloppy kisses down your neck and chest.

Your breathing was heavy and your mind was swirling with pleasure as he continued to thrust into you. You were completely lost in the moment, just the two of you on the beach, your bodies entwined in ecstasy. He picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming faster and more urgent. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, and he wanted to take you there with him

“Y/n- keep squeezing around me like that, fuck…such a perfect hole.”

Your moans turned into screams as you both reached your climax together, waves of pleasure crashing over you like the ocean behind you. You collapsed onto the sand, panting and trying to catch your breath. He rolled onto his back next to you, a content smile on his face as he ran his fingers through your hair. 

“That was amazing,” you said, pulling him close to him. “I’ve never felt anything like that before”.

“Well you have a few more hours of it if you so please.”

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

#jo’s posts #neuvillette #neuvilette genshin #neuvillete x reader #neuvillette smut #nuevillette #neuvillette genshin #genshin neuvillette #genshin smut

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runningfrom2am · 8 months

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cold nights // part fourteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.1k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: finally reunited ahh!! (also a note from me while i'm trying to find pics for the header: damn this dude does not look happy very often huh) (okay so update we're settling for a flashback photo bc coryo in his curls era does not SMILE bruh)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

"Just right here." Lucy Gray stops on the gravel road, nodding up to the house in front of them.

"Okay, sweet." Sejanus smiles, already heading for the front porch but she grabs his arm, stopping him as Coryo just stares at the house, going slightly pale.

"Sejanus, how about you and I go figure out where you guys will stay, and come back for Coriolanus in a bit?" She offers, nodding toward him.

"Oh- uh, yes. Yeah. Good idea." He agrees, picking up quickly on what she meant. Coryo still hasn't said a word, just staring at the run-down shack that apparently was your home. It was clear that efforts were made to maintain the home, the fence had been patched in several places and there were flower beds outside. From what he knew about your family, that would make sense.

"Coriolanus?" Lucy Gray draws his attention again. "We're going to go find you a place to stay, and we'll come back for you in a bit. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah that's... that's perfect. Thank you." He nods, in a trance-like state as he makes his way up to the door through some only slightly overgrown grass, before he has the chance to second-guess himself.

"He didn't even listen, did he?" Lucy Gray says, both of them watching him from the street.

"Not at all, no."

He can hear the two of them chatting as they disappear back down the road, and he looks for a doorbell that doesn't seem to be there, just settling for a knock instead. He waits a few moments after knocking on the wood, about to do it again when he hears a woman's voice come from inside. "One moment, I'll be right there!"

"I got it, Ma!" Comes from right behind the door as footsteps approach and it's swung open, a young boy standing there. "Hi." He says, eyeing Coryo up and down. It must be your brother.

"Uh, hi." He clears his throat. "Is Y/N here?"

"No, not right now." The boy answers. "Can I take a message for her?"

"Oh, well, my name is Coriolanus Snow, and-"

"Hold on! I'm coming!" The woman's voice comes again, much more excited as she rounds the corner from the hall, brushing her hands off on her apron. "You're Coriolanus?" She asks, a polite but delighted grin on her face as she gets closer.

"Yes, Ma'am." He nods in confirmation, a smile growing on his face. You look so much like your mother.

"Oh my goodness, come in, please! I didn't recognize you!" She gently moves her son out of the way, who is still staring at him with something unwelcoming behind his eyes. As soon as Coryo steps into the home, she's wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "Wow, it is so lovely to meet you! You came a very long way!"

"I did." He chuckles, hugging her back with as much politeness as he can muster behind shaking hands and a pale face.

"Come sit, Y/N will be home within the hour. She'll be just thrilled to see you." She pulls away, gesturing for him to follow her into the living area. "Are you hungry? You must be starving. Let me grab you something." Your mother says, mostly to herself as he sits down on the couch.

"That would be great, thank you." He smiles, still nervous as he tries to adjust his posture on the slightly uncomfortable sofa, looking around. In reality, he hadn't been "starving" for some time now. It felt good to have a consistently filled fridge all the time, but he has hardly eaten since they left the Capitol. He was too nervous to even think about it.

"Why did you come here?" Your brother asks, making Coryo look away from the family photos that adorned the walls. Most of the frames were broken, photos blurry, but he could tell that to your family that didn't matter.

"I hadn't heard from her. I wanted to make sure she was doing okay." Coryo answers, stiffened by your brother's somewhat hostile energy and the thought of getting to see you so soon. Had you told him something you didn't tell your mother? Probably that he killed that boy, but it seemed unlike you to leave out the part where he had no choice. Unless Tigris was wrong.

Unless you still didn't see it that way.

Your brother hums, sitting in the chair across from the couch and leaning his elbows on his knees. To Coryo, this felt like an interrogation. Coming from a teenager, it was almost cute.

"Lennox, Honey, can you come help me for just a moment?" His mother calls him from the kitchen and he's shooting up again, glaring at Coryo as he walks away. He was confused, today alone he's gotten so many mixed signals on your feelings.

You stuck out the day at work, even though while you were reshelving returns you had to rush to the bathroom in the back to vomit after reading the back cover of an old book about a man who hunted humans. You were hoping by now this would happen less and less, but leaving the house had only made it worse. Getting a job was a mistake and you knew that, but your family was hardly scraping by before you were torn from your life- but neither of your parents could work the whole time you were gone. They were sick about it. Your mom still couldn't work, and you knew your father rarely ever slept these days.

You tried to hand over the winnings Coryo's Dean had given you as soon as you got home, holding it out to your parents with trembling hands as they opened the locked door for you. They wanted none of it. Not a dollar from your three thousand, which you had spent time counting and recounting on the train. They only wanted you home. You had hoped it would give you something else to talk about- that you could smile and be proud that you won and that now your family could live comfortably, at least for a little while. The idea almost made it worth it. As you counted your prize under the dim lighting in the train car, you had wondered if you would do it again for them. The money didn't make saying hello again any easier, though, and you cried for what must have been hours on the porch of your family home, the four of you tangled together in a hug bound together by tears.

It was hard to let go, but when they had, finally, your mother shoved the money back into your pocket and told you to save it. One day, you could buy your own home with it, and that wasn't a bad idea.

All you could do for them now that your money sat in a jar in your closet, the best you could do, was convince them you were fine enough for you all to move on and forget about it. The additional income of getting your own job helped, too. So, when your boss tried to send you home, you declined, and five o'clock couldn't have come fast enough.

You drink water out of an old jam jar on the way home, washing the taste of bile out of the back of your mouth. The fresh air made a world of difference. As much as you adored the smell of books, it got stuffy in there, especially in the summers. Even with the sun beating down on your shoulders over your button-up shirt, you felt better just making the walk home every day. The breeze blowing through the trees, the familiar paths beneath your feet, it was one of the very few things that could ground you in the reality that now, you were safe. That, and the meadow behind your house at night time. Reading under lantern light with the stars overhead and your family at your side, you never felt more real. It was truly over.

That's what you would do tonight, you decided, after a long nap following an unfortunate day. At the end of every unfortunate day, you still had that, and that meant the world to you.

"Oh! Here's Tybalt." Your mom smiles, now comfortable on the couch next to Coriolanus as the cat saunters into the living room, jumping up into the space between them. "This is Y/N's cat, she calls him Tybs." She explains, tears forming in her eyes as the cat crawls onto her lap and she quickly blinks them away, but he had already noticed by then.

"She told me about him." Coryo says, placing his now empty tea cup on the coffee table in front of them.

"Of course..." She chuckles sadly. "He took real good care of us while she was away. On particularly... hard nights," She clears her throat. "He would come out into the living room with her father and I and sit with us, he can purr like no ones business, you know, and then after a while, he would run over to our room there and meow at us. Made sure we got to bed. Then curl up with us and just made sure we knew that.... she was still with us."

A tear falls as she speaks and she laughs nervously, quickly brushing it away. "Gosh, I am so sorry..." She quickly dismisses it. "We have company and I'm crying like a little girl. Forgive me..."

"No, it's quite alright." Coryo insists, shaking his head. Of course, he was worried about you in the arena and every night up until then, but he never entertained the idea of what it was like for your family even though he knew about them. That under the same sky, they were sitting here in this very home praying that you might return. Now, he could see it, and you were the lucky one who made it home. He hoped he wouldn't have to see Jessup's family while he was here. "It must have been awful for you."

"Indeed." She nods, wiping her cheek again. "But, you know, it means so much to us that she had someone there to look after her." She smiles at him. It's genuine. Sad, but full of gratitude. He would no longer wonder where you got that habit from. "I decided I wouldn't be watching anything, but her father insisted. He was out at a bar in town, the only one with televisions, then came rushing back in the door twenty minutes later and dragged us back there with him to watch. I didn't want to go but he said 'No, you need to see this. She's not alone. She has a friend.' So down we went, and they were playing reruns of the two of you being dropped into that cage. I just... She looked so comfortable with you. The way you looked at her we could see you cared, that she was human to you, and that you were there to help. I remember thinking for the first time that maybe she had a chance." She's accepted her tears now, reaching over from petting Tybalt to grasp the young man's hands in her own as she spoke.

Your brother scoffs as Coryo lets her hold onto his hands, a small smile forming on his face that's quickly torn away by Lennox's reaction. "Yeah, and then that other boy had to be the one to bring her something to eat after days."

"Hey!" Your mother gasps. "Lennox, get-" She prompts him to leave if he isn't going to be nice.

He rolls his eyes, getting up to leave.

"I didn't have anything to bring her besides a flower." Coryo finds himself stating, shocking even himself at the confession which halts your brother in his steps. He had never told anyone about the poverty he faced at home, but with them, he felt safe to. Something about knowing you assured him that they were not judgemental people. He clears his throat before explaining. "My family lost everything after the war. When I first met her, I also hadn't eaten in days. I gave her everything I could."

Lennox hums before leaving, either not convinced or embarrassed that he'd even made such a comment. Coryo couldn't tell.

"Coriolanus... I am so sorry." Your mother is quick to apologize, and he's embarrassed by the look of pity in her eyes. Pity from a woman who had, for almost a month, believed she had lost her child, and was still struggling with it today. He felt nothing but guilt.

"Well, I must tell you, your daughter saved us from that." He tries to lift her spirits as a confused expression paints itself into her features, but he doesn't get the chance to elaborate as they both turn at the sound of the front door opening.

"Ma!" You call out, closing the door behind you and kicking off your shoes, preparing your smile to tell her about the absolutely great day you just had.

Your mother stands quickly, patting the boys thigh gently and wipes her eyes. "Hi, Honey, how was your day?" She asks, smiling at him through red eyes.

"Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day." Your groaned response comes slightly muffled from the other room, and Coryo can hear you shuffling about.

"Oh, no. What happened?" Immediately your mother's tone shifts to worry, and Coryo wonders how it took her less than a second to understand.

"Nothing, Ma. All is fine." You call back, putting your bag down in the kitchen, and heading for the living room, gluing a smile back on. "Guess what I saw on the walk home! A ladybug, it landed right on my-" You freeze as you walk into the entryway, seeing your mother and your previous mentor just standing up next to her.

"Oh, I should have mentioned, we have company." Your mother smiles, already gathering the used dishes from the coffee table, and brushing past you to bring them into the kitchen. Likely, to give you two a chance to talk.

When Coryo lays his eyes on you for the first time again, he can swear his heart stops. Yours definitely does as nausea comes over you in a wave again, and your calculated smile drops.

You don't say anything, just staring with an expression unreadable to him. "Y/N, hi." He breathes, smiling at you. You look beautiful but tired, still. Still, that girl he watched in the arena, it was hard to believe that every part of you made it out. You weren't the same girl he saw for the first time in the reaping- you were more. More of you, and more of something else; hurt, if he had to guess.

"It's good to see you." He continues, his voice a gentle whisper that cuts through the awkward tension in the room. Your heart races, emotions swirling like a tempest within you. Coriolanus Snow, your mentor and friend who had guided you through your time in that Capitol and the games, is standing in your living room, looking both apologetic and hopeful.

"Coryo," You manage to say, voice barely above a whisper as you swallow the sickness rising in your throat. The memories flood back- everything awful you had gone through. Meeting him for the first time as he handed you a flower, sitting on opposite sides of the bars of your cage and talking long into the nights. Everything you had done, everything he had given you, the people you both hurt in the process. He takes a step closer, cautiously navigating the fragile space between you.

"I... What are you doing here?" You ask quietly, your eyes unable to meet his gaze. The room feels smaller, the walls closing in on you quickly.

He clears his throat, a nervous habit you remember well. "I wanted to see you," he says, his eyes pleading for understanding. "I didn't know what you were up to and how you were adjusting and... I was worried about you."

The weight of unspoken words lingers between you, and for a moment, neither of you knows how to bridge the gap that only a month of time has built. You had been away from him longer than you had known him, and facing him again, you were embarrassed. Scared. Coryo takes a deep breath, summoning the courage to express the weight of what he's carried in his mind for too long.

"I never stopped thinking about you," He confesses, sincerity etched across his face. "I tried sending letters but I didn't get any response."

The vulnerability in his eyes mirrors your own, and the air crackles with a shared sense of everything you want to say but just can't find the words. You can't help it as you feel over and over again the countless hours spent together in the lead-up to the worst days of your life.

Tentatively, he reaches for your hand, a silent plea for connection. As your fingers take his, warmth floods through you, dissolving the distance. "I missed you," he admits, his voice barely audible.

A rush of conflicting emotions surges within you- that same embarrassment, anger, hurt, but also a flicker of the fondness that never truly faded. "I missed you too," You admit, your voice breaking through the emotional dam, built up from fear and trauma and the stacks of books in your bedroom that held it back all this time.

With those words, the barriers crumble, and the room is filled with a pitiful silence. The weight of what you had both done begins to lift, replaced with the realization that he did honestly care for you, the way you did for him. As you look into each other's eyes, the connection is undeniable, evidence of a bond that time could never change. You would always be connected to him.

"Do you remember when I brought you that blanket?" He asks and you take in a sharp breath. The few pleasant memories you had of your time together were so often overthrown by the awful ones, these days. His eyes flicker quickly across your face. He looks as scared as you feel. "And I said I wish I could get to know you as you are, not as a tribute, and you said you would show me the stars."

A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you nod, the nausea you felt steadily subsiding. "So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing. I am yours for the walk and especially when I walk away."

Coryo tilts his head at you, and smiles. That must have been a yes. "Please, don't walk away again." He whispers, and in that moment, he feels the tightness in his chest that carried him through the last month finally release.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl , @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie , @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @scorpiolystoned , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

#tbosas #tbosas fic #tbosas x reader #tbosas fanfiction #thg series #hunger games #the hunger games #thg fanfiction #thg #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus fanfiction #coryo snow #coryo x reader #coryo x you #snow lands on top

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leynaeithnea · 4 days

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Just finished your beautiful beautiful very yummy and very angsty analysis of love in paradise ( maybe I shed a little tear here and there, maybe I didn't, you can't know that ) so I thought this would be right moment to leave you an ask for a gods game analysis maybe?? *stares at you with big brown eyes*

Last one of this saga!!!! Yayyy

Praying ill remember all the musical parts ive heard about but im sure theres so much hidden i forgot/didnt hear about yet

30. God Games

We open with a choir of course, because...gods! Athena decides to do something (finially)

“Father, God King” (athena asks daddy for help SIJGSEIG)

“Rarely do I ask for favors” being the good favorite daughter

“Now, I’m knocking on your door, with hopes to save a friendship with one who’s a prisoner far from home....Odysseus” I LOVE the melody of this part somehow??? especially how the drop before “odysseus”, ALSO SHE CALLS IT A FRIENDSHIP INFRONT OF ZEUS TOO

“Divine intervention, is that what you seek?” ........yes, bruh. Zeus dont fuck this up, u are decent enough in Homers Odyssey

“To untie apprehensions that were placed on that Greek?” okay i had to google “apprehentions, and apperently it both means “arrest” and “concern/fear”...........to untie the arrest on Ody, and at the same time the concerns of Odysseus THATS GENIUS, Ive heard Homer does a lot of these double meanings of words in his Epics and IM SO HERE FOR IT, also “that Greek”, come on, dont use it as a slur >:)

“You are playing with thunder for a man full of shame”..................NOW WHO PUT THIS SHAME ON HIM YOU MF, YOU WHAT KIND OF SICK GAME IS THIS-

“But if he’s worth the risk of going under, why not make it a game?” Lukes vocal performance in this part is something else, like dude??? hello? youre a tenor SIEJGSEIGJ, its good, also WDYM GOING UNDER??? HUH??? ....yeah of course you make it a game, because everything is a game to you, because really, theres nothing and noone who poses a thread to you

“Convince each of them that he ought to be released, and I’ll release him” the slight echo effect in that voice.......fascinatinggg, wish i knew if the melody in this part had any meaning, gotta look it up

“Who’s them?” Athena god of wisdom asking about details before agreeing to deals *cough* Odysseus, learn from your friend

“Apollo” APPOLO MY GUY ehehehehee

“Hephaestus” okay, fair

“Aphrodite” the wWAY HE PROUNCES HER NAME?? OMG

“Ares”, yea yea imposing yada yada

“Hera” cant exclude his wife

“Or me” OR me, so its ALL of them, or him? bruh

“What do you say?” WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SAY

“Great” ehehehehe apollo <3

“Very well” just doing it because

“Eh” shes so excited

“Alright” he IS excited

“Groovy”....ok? um...imma move on

“Bring it” of course she would choose all of them over Zeus, its Zeus, he just WANTS you to loose, bc hes the god king

“Apollo!” parrot

“You all know I’m a fan of catchy songs” god of music yada yada HIS VOICE

“so with so many sirens gone, I think Ody’s in the wrong”.........there are so many reasons to dislike Odysseus and you pick the SIRENS? .......did you just join for the fun and had no real reasons or did u get dragged there or-....but its ok, your voice is amazing, also IIRC it should be the melody of suffering??? of different beast??? i forgorrrr norrrr also Lyreeee in the background! ehehehe

“They were trying to do him worse, All he did was reimburse them Now they’ll tread with caution first To live another day and sing another verse” maybe the melody was in this part. also, yeah tell him athena, what kind of argument is that, they tried to kill him he just did what he had to--------admittely he was VERY cruel about it, but athena doesnt have to mention that, and well Ody probably protected even more sailors in the future through his actions

ALSO DONT COME AT ME WITH “but all the sirens are dead” THERE ARE MORE, theyre obviously not talking about the sirens Ody killed, its about all other Sirens out at see that woudlve seen the others dying after being brutally cut down by a human, they WILL be more cautious in the future

“If that’s true, release him”, yeah u really had nothing to argue against, he just shrugs it off LMAO

“Hephaestus!” Hefefuf ehehehe ALSO JORGES DAD YAY adorable, tho when first listened i rly thought it was Jorge with voice changer again THEY SOUND SO SIMILIAR

“Trust is not given, it’s forged”...true, valid argument, Also Scylla melody??? I THink?

“Why should I give him my support? He sacrificed his own cohort”......well....um.....he didnt rly have much of a CHOICE ....but its a more valid concern, the sounds that sound like a hammers in a forge sound cool btw

“Did you forget they failed to listen?”.........yeah literally

“He was betrayed and then imprisoned” IMPRISONED AH ODY, but yeah EXACTLY, the WIND BAG, THE MUTINY AH

“But if you make the right decision He can still build a future with those who miss him” AND BUILD TRUST WITH THEM AGAIN AHHHHHHH yes. Hefefuf choose right.

“Fine, release him” good.

the music making it sound like steps in a game as you level up....fine, it sounds nice

“Aphrodite” seductive, i like it

“Your little high and mighty Odysseus” SHeS pissed, and does not like Ody you can hear the “high and mighty” in her voice :”) ouch

“Claims to love his mother But let her die of a broken heart” LIKE HE HAD A CHOICE IN THE MATTER HE TRIED TO GET HOME SHE DIDNT HAVE TO JUMP

“He was busy fighting”, yeaaah

“More like busy spiting the cyclops”.........yeah okay we can get behin that this was stupid decision but it wasnt a rational decision either he just lost his best friend, THATS LOVE TOO; GIVE HIM SOME SLACK

“Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot” WHY U BE SO COLD HEARTED , i love the melody/music in this tho

“Wait, please reconsider this”, athena using quick thought on a goddess, intriguing! also shes begging her :tear: aw man

“Really Athena? These old tricks?” annoyed older brother breaking into quick thought to the rescuse of his lover, makes him likeable somehow, i love the delivery of this line

“Ares!” yeah shes pissed

“What kind of sick coward Holds back his power While his friends get devoured? He didn’t even fight Scylla Didn’t even try to kill her Hides inside a wooden horse to get the job done Never handles things upfront” sorry that he didnt want to DIE dude??? i get your concern with straight forward, open combat but???? is dying on the battle field rly that much worse than wanting to come home COME ON, he wins, he is EFFECTIVE, are you jealous of his stragedies? HE GOT MENTORED BY ATHENA; OFC HE WILL CHOOSE THE SMART WAY OUT NOT THE QUICKEST-WAY-TO-DIE WAY OUT smh

“Pathetic and weak like his son” thats a low blow what is your issue with telemachus bro, the drums for ares makes sense

“Hold your tongue now His son’s my friend” awwww shes calling him a frienddddddd

“And tell your lover that a broken heart can mend” AHAHAH “tell your lover”, true true

“You want more bloodshed? Then set him free To get back to his homestead, he’ll make everybody bleed” SEUHGSOUEGESH “if you let him back he’ll kill everyone” Ares: :D thats what i like to hear, Athenas piano playing again, as she fights Ares is fun too

“Ugh, release him”, what made them change their mind? Esp Aphrodite? was it Athenas concern for Telemachus? and for Ares athenas promise of bloodshed? maybe who knows

“Hey baby”.....okay, flirty? from Hera? alright, lets interpret it as motherly flirting

“Hera” how to hit those high notes

“So many heroes So many tales Give me one good reason why yours should prevail” NOW THAT is intersting, everyone else so far gave a reason NOT to release him, but now Hera asks her to give her one reason WHY he deserves to be released “dont tell me of all the sins he didnt commit, tell me of the virtue he holds” typa thing

“He’s got the mind of a genius”, fair, but there would be others

“Try harder”, encouraging, she doesnt rly want her to loose does she? she support it, she just wants to see if Athena is worth it, i do like this characterization (as long as i ignore the disco animatic, i know its Jorges creative freedom but my brain tries to refuse ANYTHING that would be a reference to modernity, let me live in the bliss of ignorance to pretend its a movie set in ancient greece x)

“He’s pretty skilled with words”, hes a lair, i love him for it

“You can do better than that”, ...yeah

“He’s kind of funny?” running out of reasons athena, also YOU THINK HES FUNNY? LMAO ur right, the odyssey is quite the commedy for anyone but odysseus (and a few others but yk)

“Eh” doesnt sound convinced heh

“Never once has he cheated on his wife” HA HA HAHAHAHAHA HA right thing to say to Hera

[also the whole debate about “did odysseus cheat or not” no. idc what anyone says. if anyone argues he INITALLY consented to Calypso: fine, its blurry in the narrative, anyone can choose how to interpret that as they wish, but Circe was bestowed upon him by Hermes (in the myth at least, in Epic there ofc very clearly refuses her, and she accepts him (hear that calypso? HEAR THAT CALYPSO)) and Calypso, at the very least later on turned VERY unconsensual. FOR SEVEN YEARS., but the “he liked her no more” could also mean she didnt like her as a person anymore after she saved him. its not 100% clear how the relationship started out, we just know how it ends rly, but given the historic context too, it might very well be that it wouldntve been considered as cheating, even if it was consensual, would hera consider it cheating bc she does so with Zeus? maybe, idk, i think the idea of Ody being (one of) the only greek hero(es) that doesnt cheat is one i like, he gets praised enough by homer for all his skills he might as well have the skill of being true to his wife, in EPIC we know that Ody refuses her from the beginning so whatever did or did not remain unnamed in Epic, would NOT be cheating,.........and anyone who mentions Odys proof for cheating being the telegony or any other later versions where suddenly children show up, and he offs penelope for cheating and telemachus marries circe, can kindly, do some more reading into the history of the text and how later authors added their own twists, we dont know if the odyssey from homer was the most well known version, i think, but its the one we consider canon now, and i rly refuse to believe that Ody coming home only to get a new wife]

“Release him” the side glace Zeus mustve gotten LMAO

...ok angry zeus choir again, rly?

“I’ve played your game and won”, she did, fair and square

“Release him” you better

“You dare to defy me?”, what happend to your voice zeus? also....are you pissed that she called you out on cheating? bro, ur just pissed that she choose everyone else over you, grow up zeus

“To make me feel shame?” shame about loosing the game or shame for the humiliation about cheating, mhh

“No one beats me, no one wins my game!”, sounds like my 3rd brother, but hes at least cute when hes throwing a fit about a game having rules

“Thunder, bring her through the wringer Show her I’m the judgement call The one who makes her kingdom fall! ”.your voice is getting worse btw, but...are we talking about pride still? Athenas pride? or is “her” just Athena now? mhhhh, Odysseus DID call her “selfish, prideful and vain”, so maybe it does refer to her pride, she DID Have a character arc tho >:) unlike zeus, hes just an ass, also he gets a choir background for this? intersting,

NOW HE THROWS LIGHTING AT HER??? thats intense, i was gasping when i saw, night sound design

“Is she dead?”, he does sound concerned, is it bc big brother energy or bc athena was zeus favorite child? or do they know how Zeus fucked up just now? hah..ha

the flashes you can hear in the music....aaaah

NOW THIS INSTRUMETAL PART

IS SO BEAUTIFUL ITS SO GOOD THE WAY “WARRIOR OF THE MIND” AND TELEMACHUS LULLABY AND LEGENDARY BLEND TOGETHER AND BECOME “ATHENAS FINIAL STAND” (as its supposedly called) ITS SO GOOD i ah i like this part the most of the song, together with apollos voice aseghsegij Aphrodite is fine too :) and "rly athena; these old tricks"

AlSO her having a flashback to Ody giving her Telemachus to hold after his birth, PLS??? Thats so vulnerableeeeee aaaaaaaaah yeah, yea that was good

“Let him go, please, Let him go”, she reaches out to Zeus, as her light dims and she begs him to let Ody go, nothing left of the selfish and prideful goddess, she was selfless- sacrifcing herself and ler go of her pride to beg to Zeus to let him go, who stops as he grabs to throw another lighting, in shocked realization of what he has done.

The song fades out. And we are left to wonder if Athena is ded or not

now initially i rly thought Jorge killed a goddess

by now im more hopeful that she isnt dead (im hoping for that, mostly for the fun of sticking to the source material of Athenas help in the last chapter(s) of the story)

but

im still doubting a bit. the chance is there that she is, infact, dead, but i dont know how that would impact the narrative-,...i suppose we’ll see, either in the vengence saga, or at the lastest in the ithica saga x)

#god games #epic the musical #leyanalyses #LeyAnswers #epic the wisdom saga #i kept forgetting to do this but its done now!#im not in on the hype around the song #but its still good #quite good #the instrumental part at the end kills me a lil

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scrunkalicious · 7 months

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yappost,,, just call me yappalicious now 😻😻🤭,, kinda a sequel to this post kinda,,, a collectiom of info and hcz, separated by a bit of space depending on whatz related or whatnot,,,

taglist ppl im sacrificing yall 🧍🏻‍♀️

WORD COUNT BC HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THING:

Yall know those "your F/O dancing with you" kinda stuff??? Yeah ok that but backwardz I am dancing with my f/oz like errm

Marly knowz swing dance,,, itz hella fun, and Viktor is kinda insecure abt dancing bc of his leg, limp and cane,, but he rlly wantz to hold n stuff, in the end it takez a lot of prodding from Marly but oh when she finally getz him to dance with her itz sohhnggghbn v gentle and intamate, slow careful steps with Marly not minding if he accidentally gripz her too tightly,, and she givez him the most blessed praise from her afterwardz

tho,, as the yearz pass (more around the part of the show after the timeskip,, act 2 or whatever), it getz increasingly harder for vik to dance as much/easily as he used to,,, it was a bit of a challenge even at the start, but now with him needing a crutch instead of a cane, and with his leg brace and increasing painz,, erm,,, it makez him sad bc he knowz how much fun Marly has with dance but she is assuring him that itz ok,,,,,,, oh man I’m gonna hhhgnbbtgtty (sorry had to get silly for a bit he is dying, bro dropz the line “We’re in uncharted waters now, and I can feel my body eroding” IM GONNA EXPLODE AND SOB ANDAND)

DW IM NOT GONNA END THIS ONE ON A SAD NOTE,,, every now and then they'll do the 'move' "basic" (I couldn't find a video but itz literally actually basic,,, like a default stance lmao,,, just moving legs one kinda small step with armz idk how 2 explain but rlly simple n easy),, which allowz for them to still kinda dance,, and the light movement helpz Vitkor's leg YEA yippee

PDA? No problem!!!!! Showing affect for one another in public is not a problem LMAO,,, there was most DEFINITELY a moment where someone was telling Marly stuff like "you can be with someone better and not someone from the Undercity" n shez all like "OH you don't like my boyfriend??? What if I kissed him on the mouth. In front of you." AND SHE DOES LMAO 🤯

it took viktor a while to ease into the idea of public affection but once he was comfortable with it bro is unstoppable,,,,

professional relationship???? yea ermm theyre kissing in public professionally

yea they are holding handz in public someone stop them (or get the camera)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The usually outgoing, extroverted, estatic Marly who seems to have way too much energy in public is ever so passive and gentle when in private with Viktor

She handles Viktor very gently, with the most softest of touches and utmost consideration for his body, something that seems like she may not be capable of, with how loudly she presentz herself, she seemz like she may be a rough/rowdy lover, but she is quite the opposite in most situations

The two are very very attentive to one another’s needs. Does Viktor usually need a pillow to prop up his bad leg when cuddling? Expect Marly to pull up with her nicest softest pillowz ever,,, sometimez even onez that she usez personally herself!! Oh, Marly isn’t one to fall asleep easily? Expect to find Viktor laying with her for however long it takez, stroking her hair, pressing soft kisses to her face and whispering sweet nothings to her.

bleehhh Viktor is the little spoon LMAO somehow it still workz despite the height difference,, Marly is holding him so gently,,,

Marly def layz on the couch with Viktor and pullz him over to her,,,, laying his head on her chest while shez snug under him,, he mayyy press a kiss to her neck if hez feeling extra silly,,

ooohhh they love love to kiss eachotherz molez,,, vik has the obvious two on his face, and he actually has one on his neck (found this after analyzing many picz of him),, Marly actually has some, too! She has one on her neck in a similar place as Viktor’s,, and one near her chest area (? Idk anatomy bruh),,, def expanding on this one later bc of reasonz erm,,

Marly WILL beat yo ass if you shit on Viktor for his disability,,

Whether it be babying him and treating him as if he can't do certain thingz,,, or just making fun of him,, she will send you to the MEATGRINDER.

"Sure, he's disabled, but never hindered,"

Lil 5'1/5'2 Marly gon fight you

She knowz how hard he has worked to be where he is now,,,, literally worked his ass off to be at the Academy and SUSTAINED his position. So for him to do all this and then be limited by someone bc they think he can't do certain thingz?? Not on her watch she is sprinting at them full speed to kill them 🧍🏻‍♀️

adding a teensy thing,,, Marly usually doesn’t get too mad easily,, but god forbid she becomez actually mad,,, she doesn’t hold back on wordz so expect to have her hit where insecuritiez lie,, maybe even getting physically violent depending on the situation

they are sooooo supportive of one another they are each other’s cheerleader ong

when Viktor had bad pain dayz, Marly is calling the both of them out of school/work,, spoiling and pampering him a whole bunch yeaagg,,,

Ough and god forbid the days where he feels insecure about his condition,,, when he believes that Marly should be with someone who isn’t “weak” like him,,,,

hes pretty stubborn abt that opinion when ir crosses his mind,,

but expect Marly to show him that she loves HIM. she wouldn’t choose anyone else over her silly scientist,,,

firm but kind words of affirmation from her,,,, the most loving touchez ever,, many kissez for him,,,

when he finally getz what she is saying,, omg itz like falling in love all over again bc wow,,,,

ooohh when marly actually openz up fr and allowz for thingz to be so that she doesn't have to be the only one to carry the burden of her problems?? thatz like viktorz most greatest accomplishment that he achieved ngl

Without her glasses Marly is practically blind,,, everything is all blurry n fuzzy outhghggvhelpme

She can become pretty panicky when she needs to take them off for thingz other than sleep, changing clothes, showering ECT,,, and heavily weary of everything around her when without her spectaclez,,,

But!!! She trustz Viktor enough to have them off,,, bc cuddling with glasses on is uncomfortable and getz the lensez all dirty or whatever,,

She'll have her glasses laid down on a nearby table as they're both on the couch or a bed,,, even though she can't see well she trustz that nothing bad is going to happen,,,

The first few timez she did this she was still pretty anxious,,, but soft wordz and assurance from vik helped with that,,,

they’re both so into giving praise and wordz of affirmation to one another,,,,

thatz the consequencez of paring an observative scientist who WILL spit factz about his partner, and an artist who sees the good in people and admires beauty in everything,,,,,

they both have an incredibly sharp wit and tongue,, though words often come easier to Marly,,

Sometimez one of them will get all blushy and stumble over their wordz during back-n-fourth quipping and they'll both laugh it off,,,

OH they also do petnamez a ton,,,, Marly often callz him “Darling”, “Baby”, “Sweet Boy” and like anything else that gal can think of,,, Viktor callz her “[my] dear”, “sweetheart”, “mahal ko” (translates to ‘my love’ in Tagalog), “My Marly” ectect

YEAH HE LEARNED SOME TAGALOG FOR MARKY N JUMPSCARED HER WITH IT!!, marly kissed him breathless after that just so you know

SIGH,,,, IG I KINDA HAVE TO MENTION JAYCE,,,

Marly toleratez Jayce, taking more of a liking to him when they first met

but when that mf got into politicz and started straining his friendship with vik,,, uhoh errmm this does NOT slide with Marly,,

though there are some momentz where he held her respect (UH SOME ARCANE SPOILERZ IN THE NEXT FEW BULLET POINTZ N SLIGHT TW WARNIN IG)

when Viktor legit just passez out in the lab,, when Marly found him, she called Jayce to help get him to the hospital, and he helped no questions asked,,,

and when uh. when vik was literally about to jump from a building and jayce distracted him. uh yeah Marly actually can’t thank him enough for that,,, Jayce found a small gift drawing from her later that week bc HOLAY MOLAY ERM if blud wasnt there then uhhhhh

and also the fact that he just isn’t mean to vik lmao,, Marly knowz that the two are pretty close and she respectz that

Bruh sometimez they are kindaaa clingy you don't understand bro physical touch is their love language ever

sometimez when Viktor is working in the lab and is like stuck on smth or will be there for a while,,, he'll have marly sit on the ground next to his chair so he can play with her hair or like pet her head while thinking idk man teehee

Or like,, if vik findz Marly on the couch he'll just go and lay on her lap,, claiming that it "helps with body aches"

Ngl they will sleep practically almost anywhere as long as they're with one another,,, hey the lab isn't the best place to go honk mimimimimi honk shoooooo but at least Marly is with Viktor and Viktor is with Marly yk??? Limbs intertwined,, marly holding viktor close with his head against her neck/chest

GOD THEY ARE SO HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART CORE (LIZ I GIVE YIU MY LIFE FOR THAT),,, NUZZLING AGAINST ONE ANOTHER AND LEAVING EACH OTHER LIL NOTES N STUFF,,,,

SOME QUESTIONZ FROM MY SILLY @l0v3sickl0s3r TYSM LIZ AGAUIINNN 💜💜

comfort food?

For Marly, either Filipino Adobo, Filipino style spaghetti, or sweetz,,

For Viktor, sweet milk paired with either cookies or a muffin,,,, yeah

what does one do when the other cries/is upset?

Viktor will listen very intently to whatever Marly has to say, and will usually also result to physical comfort, just holding her close. Takes her to a more comfortable place. If the cause of her being upset is a person, expect him to confront said individual soon,,, will spend a ton of time checking on her and making sure she getz better

Marly is quick to provide comforting words, and also provides physical touch, pressing soft kisses to his face as she whispers sweet nothings to him. She’s actually quite worrisome, and almost panicky, but will do all she can to make sure that her lover feels alright

what yankee candle would marly and/or vik be?

idk stuff abt yankee candlez specifically so I’ll just give you scentz 🧍🏻‍♀️

Marly's would have a fruity fragrance,, watermelon mixed with some other things, surprisingly light, as to not give the buyer a headache lmao Viktor’s is a 50/50. The candle may smell like caramel and chocolate,,, or metal and light chemicals bc bro is silly like that

THE TAGLIOST. MY CAPTIVEZ. THE SACRIFICEZ. {{ask to be added/removed lmao}}

@h0t-p1nk-ch33tah-pr1nt @sapphicseal @kiawren annndd liz but i already tagged u with the questionz so yuh

#whoever readz the entire thing getz part of my will #i worked on this for dayz lmao #ask to be added to the taglist itz crayzee #do with this info as you pleabse #ermrmrnrnmrm4 #<3 #scrunkalicious #💜martor💜#yk what we'll do fandom tagz #marly divata #arcane viktor #self shipper #selfship #self ship #selfshipper #selfship lore #selfship community #self ship community #marly yapz!!

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tododeku-or-bust · 3 months

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Imma tag it with TW child abuse so don't hit me with no anon saying "Can you tag your suffering with child abuse" this time!

I think what always makes it weird for me to think about my childhood as abuse is that my parents were not bad providers. Like when we think of the basic role of a parent, it's for the kid to survive. And they (mostly my Mom) did that; I didn't go hungry, I didn't go without. Might have had to deal with snotty kids picking on my clothes and lack of toys, and I had to work my way through college, but i had water to wash with and a nice house. As far as the outside world goes, I turned out great bc I had a great start.

And they were loving! I think that's what made it... So confusing. I love my parents. Like, my parents are very affectionate people! They're not stupid, they enjoy fun, played videogames and sang songs and read, and they generally loved us. But that shit felt so... Conditional. Like for every moment I felt like I was being loved, I felt like I had to do something to maintain it. Get good grades, be pretty, never do anything wrong.

That's why I pretty much hated my folks from age 10 to about 21. It was a constant battle, a "you're not existing and believing the way I want you to", to the point that we had bruising, blood spilling fights, many of which to this day I think about and am filled with the same murderous rage. Then my dad got depressed bc the economy and started becoming an incel right as I hit teendom, so THAT made it far worse.

and I would be pissed as hell at my mom bc she acted like that shit between me and my dad was equivalent. "You both have the same volatile temper", "I'll send him to prison and you to foster care", "stop being disobedient", "stop opening your fucking mouth" bruh I was 15 and 110 and my father was a 200+ grown man. ONE OF US is the REAL issue here and it ain't me 🤣🤣 like to this day I hear the word 'disobedient' and I wanna choke somebody.

(My dad was more physical, my mom blew up sometimes but it was more words with her. She would get pissed bc she'd cite how her mother was meaner to her and I'd be like "take that up with her then")

Fun story, I was about 12 when I realized that they could beat me all they want and it didn't make me any less right or their actions any less wrong 🤣. I think it was after realizing that sometimes they'd just... fight me. Bruh. I was INSUFFERABLE after that. "But are you gone beat my ass" personified. Like yeah I was dead but boy you gone feel hurt bc imma tear your soul up. 🤷🏾‍♀️

And idk. I wasn't a bad kid. I did well in school, had hobbies, wasn't on drugs or alcohol. A little boy crazy. Mouthy, when defensive. Pushing boundaries, often. But that's what teenagers do. They're supposed to. They were the fucking adults. And now I got fucking PTSD and shit all bc they couldn't acknowledge their own traumas and attempt actually communicating with their kid like a human being.

But EYE went to therapy, so now I got healthy options 👍🏾 that emotional intelligence and maturity is on LOCK in comparison to them. The "great person" is because of ME.

#tw child abuse #this has been Ice's Trauma Lore Drop #these arent even the specific stories this is a general overview #like my mom would beat the hell out of me if i got lower than a C

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p4pert0wle · 1 year

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Ever just had moments where you get so focused on something that you just can't bring yourself to do anything else that you were planning to do.

Bruh I've just been fighting my own brain rn,like all I can think about rn is how bad I wanna watch the new episode for helluva boss and how much I can't wait.

So like art,talking,all of that?Gone.Out the window.

But I did it,I art :D

Every time I draw her I always somehow end up drawing her demon form-

Anyways more art

That's human her-

I remember how much I cherished her as a kid,she was like the first or one of the first creepypasta ocs I ever made.Now I was shit at storytelling but those ocs were basically my only thought process for three whole years.

I both cringe and think nostalgically back to these characters alot,and I've been reworking the things in her backstory that younger me came up with.

All that I can truly remember is a few things.

-She was killed and turned into a slender somehow

-she hated slenderman and had a group that was actively against him(I remember a few of the people that worked with her so I might redesign them too)

-She was really strong,physically strong.Idr if she had any powers back then,I don't think she did qwq.

-Her sister was a slender as well???

-Her whole thing was roses,she was flower themed.Why?Idk I just liked themes,still do.But back then it was like alot of alot of flowers.

-She spoke fluent Spanish

-She had two daughters(one of wich I focused on the most and inspired later ocs)

-Bisexual

I never had a reason for exactly how she had become a slender like being,and I'm still trying to figure it out.

But basically,plot convince demon :]

My own excuse for how she litterally became a slender like creature,was because a demon attached to her at a young age and was planning to trap their soul in their own body and taking over.

She said no and cheated death.

And then she chose a slender like form out of pure spite.She can change into a demon like form and has some shapeshifting abilities,she basically trapped the demon instead.

(This might change bc I know nothing about creepypasta lore qwq)

She and her sister were killed around the time slenderman started first showing up like litterally thousands of years ago.And she's been trying to avenge her own death and that of her sister.

She's also taken up protecting the innocent,mainly his soon to be victims.Often hiding his targets from him and,she also tends to scare away people who try to enter the woods.

In like my first try to redesign her,she had the ability to sense right and wrong.But I'm changing that to she can sense bad intentions and wrong doing.

She was always more of a silent and vengeful character,her heart in the right place but not exactly the greatest at expressing it.She was an introvert who was very observant wich made it easier to hit were it hurts,but also using it for those she cares about.

Not the best with words but likes expressing her love through small little details she picks up on.

I tried a generator to try and give her some hobbies and then I just pick a few but to name some,I was given ferret racing.Planking,and spreading fake news on Facebook-

....

No-

Ima take the ferret thing and just say she particularly likes ferrets and also rats as well bc come on rats are adorable-

Hobbies ima have to think on another time.But yeah,her.Love her.

If ya see this,hi!Hope the rest of your day goes well! :D

Have these :>

And also blurry dog

#creepypasta oc #creepypasta #The only thing I've ever made that was actually creepy in this fandom was a creepy shapeshifting dog that had eyes and limbs in its mouth #I made that thing and then got a dog who looked just like how I imagined that thing to be #Old oc #Nostalgic oc #Pixel art kinda #At the very bottom at least #Art #original character

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bonnvivre · 9 months

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A Funny Thing- Ch 23 word dump

new chapter to start off the new year LETS FREAKIN GOOOOOOO

i just washed my sheets too im settled in, my bed smells great, im having a great time

——————————

“And while Yuuji had humoured him at first, had been nothing but smiles as he posed for the pictures, the boy has clearly grown tired of the routine..” me during the filo family christmas party when they wanna take pictures … i can still see the ring light ….

ahh the first send off, brings tears to my eyes ;___; gojo taking a bunch of pictures and sukuna constantly checking him over to make sure he has his stuff- fathers are father-ing and they didn’t wanna let him go just yet :[[

aw they slept together

before i go on, the new friend is ACTUALLY megumi (i always thought it was megumi shshsh) cus toji literally couldnt afford another school and gojo’s gonna see him and either be like, “wait he looks familiar” or make THAT face right upon seeing him am i right lads or am i right lads (post chapter edit: i am right lads)

HAHAHAHA AN HOUR LONG RANT ON HIS NAILS PLS i see it yea canonically, sukuna usually makes himself look presentable . always pushing back his hair, dusting his clothes off, etc. he’s always gotta look good

whehehdhe he likes sukunaaaaaa !! someday that like will turn to love (post chapter edit: and that someday was today lads)

“How dare he have friends and hobbies and interests that don’t revolve around Satoru.” [gasp] HOW DARE YOU HAVE OTHER FRIENDS ARE YOU MAD ?!

what kind of netflix drama did he get his story from this time 🙄

thats not the only time you’ll be freezing bc of geto hahahahahahaha

the run on sentences of yuuji’s speech plus casual megumi drop is killing me

i think its a good choice to have off screen moments be mentioned within the present, readers get the context while keeping the story moving . kinda like what gege does :0

ARE THEY WATCHING HUMAN EARTHWORM (post chapter edit: YES THEY WERE OHOHOHO)

FOR ITS HIS FIRST DESIRE TO KISS SATORU OH MY GODDDDDDD WGAGAFBWHVFKD i may have yelled a little

AGH . blocked yet again … i know its still too early but ugh it hurts oh the pain

THATS AN EXPENSIVE MANICURE WTF AND TOJI’S BACK YIPPEEEEEE

i love sukuna being satoru’s voice of reason, bringing sense and logic to satoru’s emotional thinking and it doesn’t clash at all; rather, it works for them very well

AWWWW YUUJI AND MEGUMIIIIIII SO CUTEEEE

“Those baggy, unwashed garments of his allow for superior mobility, while the stench deters opponents from engaging in close-combat.” LMAOOOOO sukuna’s sarcastic remarks about toji, especially his smell im crying

post chapter thoughts:

i wanted to see him and megumi in this story so bad ngl and im so happy they’re here !!! i blame the copious amounts of fushiguro family comics i’ve consumed- shout out to ddub1618 on twt

bruh my page reloaded i have to go back

i love long chapter gimme long chapter hmhmhmmhmh

i saw the interpretations of yuuji’s sickness and i thought it was cool but it’s also giving “the curtains represent his depression and lack of will to carry on vs the curtains were blue” lol

it would be a … shame if toji ran out of sugar and needed a bag …….. its a good thing satoru has a nice ol bag at home >:]

OHHHH IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF THEY DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A NICE HOMECOOKED MEAL OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF THEIR HEARTS >:]]]

#a funny thing happened on the way to therapy #lai’s word dump n thoughts #for weiserr #i love toji i started watching jjk cus of him but i like to make fun of him lmao #they’re not THAT petty #i think #almost 3 which is an hour less from my last word dump !!#not good i have an education to pursue and i need sleep #sacrifices must be made however #gonna sleep now gn lads #love sayinf lads #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gosuku #sukugo

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evansbby · 4 months

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Bestie, girlypop, pookie, Darling-

I- I'm in fucking shock at the latest chapter...oh.my.GOD I have no words, genuinley..oh, who am I kidding I'm GUSHING IT WAS SO CRAZY!!! anyway my thoughts:

At this point I was like "oh god if this isn't a plot twist I just need Sharon and Y/N to kiss already" cuz it was hinting that she liked reader and I was dying!!!! Like yes bbg! But also why are you so dense!?! Block these morons and confess to your now bestie!!!

Speaking of besties: Wanda. I- look I didn't really like Wanda at all from the begging she was just not a good friend and not at all a girls girl. But the shit she pulled? Ugh! Wanted to smack her and not to mention how obnoxious Curtis was and how obvious it was he was cheating!!! But I digress.

Now Ari? I wanted to get a restraining order at this point like bruh leave miss girl alone! She don't want you!! And Y/N you fucking airhead grow a backbone don't let him into your fricking dorm room!!!! I'm still Team Steve, downright, my bbg did not deserve that shit! Well...maybe a bitch slap but he still should be a better pick than Ari cuz omg. And the scream I SCRUMT- I KNEW HE FUCKED KIRA! I WAS SO RIGHT! ugh poor baby she and Sharon seriously deserve better😭😭

And Stevie overdoasing?? The dialog??? The scene description?? Someone give my girl over here a fucking academy award we got our next Jane Austen!!! (Also this was a journey to read cuz I got a super bad migrain half way and I swear I woke up in a cold sweat and just started reading again😭)

Anyway I hope Y/N picks neither, makes up with Sharon they stay besties or smooch and they all live happily ever after U>U also I Need someone to kick drop Curtis and slap Wanda. That's all, that's my take.

Hope your having the most lovley day dear!!! Already screaming over what next chapter insues!

-💌

OMGGG LOVE LETTER ANON!!! bestie thank you so much for this long amazing delicious feedback ily girlyyy (and excuse my lack of emojis, i'm on my laptop!!)

AHAHAHAHA firstly... guess what, bestie??? in the original first draft of this fic before i made cuts and edits, SHARON DID ACTUALLY KISS READER!!! so you are totally not alone with your "kiss already!!" thoughts bc i think a lot of people were right there with you!!! i had always planned for sharon to have a crush on reader, all the way back from wicked games 2 actually!! but i had to cut the kissing scene out bc it made more sense to me to have sharon secretly pining for her! and also, it would've been weird if sharon kissed reader while she was so clearly looking all hurt and vulnerable - sharon is a lot more intuitive and sensitive to those type of emotions and the last thing she would've done is kiss reader the very day after she'd been hurt so badly by steve!! so i cut it hehe BUT THAT KISS DID ORIGINALLY HAPPEN.

okay now moving on... GIRLY IT'S SO OBVIOUS YOU'RE TEAM STEVE ALL THE WAY AND DON'T LIKE ARI MWAHAHAHAHA. but i don't think reader wanted Ari to leave her alone even though that's what she kept saying. but deep down... IDK hehehe. Ari WAS very persistent this chapter, but i think he was just desperate to show reader that he'd changed. As for Steve, i know he's everyone's bbg at the moment AND HE WAS SO FUN AND INTERESTING TO WRITE in this chapter!!! also not you calling me the next jane austen AHHHHH bestie i am not worthy of that!!! but thank you! i'm lowkey very proud of the steve scenes and the descriptions and dialogue towards the end of chapter 4! so thank you for recognising that!!

AND YES WANDA AND CURTIS BOTH NEED A BITCH SLAP!

also not you waking up in a cold sweat with a migraine and just... CONTINUING TO READ?!?! THAT'S A SOLID MOOD RIGHT THERE BESTIE WE ALL BEEN THERE AKFSNDALGNAK HAHAHAH ily thank you fr for being so so supportive of me. you are truly a queen and icon of the evansbby anon roster!!! ily

#anon #wg ask #wg 4 ask #💌 anon

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fettuccinewrites · 7 months

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I AM HERE to give a fic review nobody asked for but i have no one else to talk about it

I have finished CWM couple hours ago and i've been obsessing over it ever since. Firstly would like to point out that cwm was already in my reading list and when i decided to start reading it after sending you that first ask i kept asking myself "why didn't i read it sooner?" cause i do have a severe case of love square brainrot and i have an unresolved passion with ice skating so why haven't i read that indeed.

Then I got the scene in which Adrien's ed is revealed and it was a big OH THAT'S WHY moment for me. I have been recovering from an ed myself for years and i try to avoid the topic because i dont think i'm there yet yk? ANYWAYS. That did make my reading take a little longer than planned, out of caution really, but nothing i couldn't handle (my therapist will be very proud). On that note, I would like to apologize for needing to skip some of the more in-depth ed related parts, but to also congratulate you on the way you handled the subject. I don't usually feel safe reading these type of stories, but cwm was an exception due to your writing and story telling skills.

MOVING ON cause i feel cringey talking about my ed but you really deserve the praise for this

It really is amazing how well you are able to sell rivals to lovers narrative. dymdc and cwm both had me invested in their rivalry. It didn't feel forced, the progression of the relationship had incredible pacing and the reasons behind were believable. Like, writing this trope is so hard because it's easy to fall in traps of the narrative – not making the rivalry strong enough or making it too strong and having to bullshit a reason to end it – but you do it SO WELL. LIKE. i actually don't have words, I keysmashed three times over this so yeah i guess that's what i have to say.

Something I would also like to point out: the choice of performances. bruh. You matched the characters vibes to the choreographies so well. Like I know nothing about the fem skater from the 2010 phantom of the opera but I can see Lila so clearly in her expressions that makes me want to punch her in the face. The way the snake dance has Kagami's seriousness and precision and Luka's edge and style. *chefs kiss*

Now on the note of Moulin Rouge for Adrienette, i feel like keysmashing is not enough i need to bark. The way the story of the performance is a parallel to their relationship AND andrien's condition. Part of me thought he was going to die. I lost cound how many times I cried while reading this and I wish I could have recorded the way i GASPED when they came in twelfth. Had me shaking and tearing up ngl.

The one thing i did not understand tho was why Marinette kept that Gabriel remade their costumes a secret. Like I get Adrien making his piece with the relationship with his bio father, and deciding not to pursue one with him anymore, but Marinette not telling him felt a little shady for me. Maybe I missed something, but I don't think that shutting that door was up to her. I like the ending for Gabriel and Adrien, but idk maybe i just don't like that Marinette kept it a secret from him.

Alright I think I've said enough for one ask holy shit look at the size of this so i'm gonna stop it here. I think I said everything I wanted to say, but if I remember anything else – and I'm still welcome in here –i'll come back to dump more unrequited opinions.

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing work with us 🧡

omg! thank you!! one thing about me is i LIVE for long comments, particularly about cwm (my forever favorite story) so you are always welcome

i figured the ed parts would be difficult for some people to read, so they are 100% skippable & i’m glad you were able to take advantage of that and still enjoy the story ❤️

i love that you actually went and looked up the performances bc i just feel like it enhances the reading experience so much??? moulin rouge felt like the ONLY choice for them, i am soooo glad the parallels were noticed bc it was very much my intention :)))))

re: costumes… really just needed to wrap up that plot line and didn’t know how else to do it haha. I’d spent far too long on it already, and thought of it as like a parting gift kinda thing? A was done with G so (in my head) she didn’t see a reason to tell him, i guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

anywayyyyy always happy to talk cwm! or writing! or dymdc! or anything else <3333

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theygender · 8 months

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Bruh I've known for years that I have visual processing issues (separate from my actual vision problems) but I never really looked into the specifics of how it works before. I know sometimes, especially when my brain is tired, I have trouble making sense of shapes and separating the foreground of images from the background. So I can see the image perfectly fine but I can't make out what it is, even if it's something that should be very obvious like a singer crouching at the edge of a stage (actual example). Those moments are a lot like auditory processing issues, where you can technically hear what someone is saying just fine but your brain can't parse it into words. And when I'm having a lot of trouble with this sort of thing, image descriptions are helpful for me. I figured that was just what visual processing disorder was right?

Well now I'm reading more about it and it turns out that there are 8 different types of visual processing skills and VPD can affect any of them. The issues I just described would fall primarily under visual foreground issues bc it stems mainly from not being able to distinguish the foreground (singer) from the background (stage and audience). But it probably also involves some visual closure issues bc I have trouble figuring out what the full shape is if part of it is cut off (like if the singer is kneeling in such a way that not all of their limbs are fully visible), as well as form constancy issues bc I have trouble recognizing familiar shapes if they're in an unexpected position/context (singer kneeling close to the audience instead of standing on stage)

Reading more about form constancy has got me really mind blown actually. I have a lot of quirks that I always just attributed to autism/ADHD. I can't find objects in plain sight, for one thing, especially if they're in a different location than normal. I can set something down on a table right out in the open and almost immediately lose it if there's other objects nearby for it to "blend into." If I'm looking for something in a cabinet or the fridge or even just on a slightly crowded counter I have to ask my gf to remind me what color it is so I can just pick out the color, bc otherwise I can look forever and not find it. Even if I make a conscious effort to check each individual item, I can look right at it multiple times and still not process that it's the object I'm looking for. I have to make it a habit to always put things back in the exact same spot bc otherwise I can't see them. The other day I went to get a new roll of toilet paper from our toiletry shelf and I thought "damn, we're almost out, I better order some more." I didn't realize until I bought a new box and went to stack it on the shelf that there was already an entire new box right there, just slightly to the left. And this isn't even "tired brain" processing, this is my everyday normal

And apparently... that's all described as symptoms of form constancy issues? Like, some of the things optometrists warn parents to watch out for when determining if their child has VPD are "difficulty finding missing items quickly even if they are in plain sight" and "difficulty recognizing objects when placed in a new location"

Another issue I have is a ridiculous inability to orient myself, know my way around familiar places, or understand where I am in relation to other places. I still have to use GPS to get to shops near my home that I've been going to for years and I have no idea what direction anything is in. My gf and I once had some fun playing a game where we stood in our living room and she asked me to point in the directions of things like "the store across the street" and "the entrance to our apartment complex" and "the mailboxes" and "the dumpster by our building" and I was unable to get any of them correct. Part of it is bc even if I DO manage to memorize my way around somewhere it's just a single-line map telling me when to turn to get from point A to point B and it falls apart if I try to come at it from any other angle, and part of it is due to an inability to judge distances (I have taken the extreme long way around on multiple occasions bc I couldn't tell that "just around the corner of that side of the building" was a shorter distance than going around the opposite side of the building, circling around the back, and then coming in from the other direction)

...Turns out that another aspect of form constancy issues is "difficulty judging distances" and "difficulty picturing objects at different angles." Aaaand during this research I happened to stumble across a site with little baby games to help young kids with visual processing issues practice to improve their form constancy skills and uh. It's kinda kicking my ass 😭

I learned some FUN things about myself tonight lads

#prosopagnosia (faceblindness) also falls in the visual processing issues category apparently which. makes sense i guess?#im just kinda shocked that all these issues might be related tbh #like i had always thought of it as three separate things: faceblindness—spatial reasoning issues—visual processing issues #with the visual processing issues being the least impactful on my life bc it only really affected my ability to discern images #and usually only acted up significantly when my brain was particularly tired #but. apparently vpd is a much wider spectrum of issues than i even realized and it may be Causing the other issues? potentially??#idek what to do with this information tbh. it changes functionally nothing except that i can put a name to my experiences #ive already naturally worked out accomodations to make my life liveable with these challenges #like using my GPS everywhere and always putting items back in the same spot so i dont have to rely on sight to find them #and luckily i have a partner who is very patient and always willing to help me when i inevitably have trouble anyways lol #but this is definitely. some knowledge i guess #ill probably at least bring this up to my therapist but this may be outside of her wheelhouse 😅#rambling

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cyuutie · 2 years

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i’m like a drive downtown whilst listenin to slow n reverb songs in the middle of the night. i’m like a breeze of nostalgia ppl have. whenever anyone meets me, all they’re reminded of is moments of joy from their past. i make ppl feel deja vu, jus smt they can’t explain. even attempting to explain would confuse them. ppl can’t figure out what exactly they’re feeling rn, but it’s def joy. i am a real life angel, blessing ppl wherev i go. ppl would trace all my movements wherev i go thinkin “damn she’s hella fine”, i have a hypnotising aura. i may not talk to ppl but looking at my eyes alone can make ppl catch feelings, even those who don’t believe in love at first sight would b in awe at what i did to them. no one can touch the hearts of ppl like i do. i’m like- this special being. no one’s evr met sm1 like me b4, i’m jus too rare. gotta catch me when u can loll. ig my energy is described at “outta dis world” but frrrr it is. i have this enthralling, fascinating presence, no one can grab hold of it. once i enter ppl’s lives, it’s like heaven 4evr for them. they’d describe it as “she’s the best i’ve ever had, non can make me feel the way she did”. i have this way of words that jus makes me too irresistible, like, it’s so heavenly. even if i’m jus runnin for errands, i look hella good. i’d jus walk down the street n all dem fine ass guys would instantly turn round to see me “shiiiii she’s comin this way brooo”. ppl try so hardddd jus to get my attention alone. i’d nvr sit for anythin that’s not good for me bc i always know my worth n i’ll always hold myself high. i’m so gorgeous like bro i’d date me if i can. everytime i look at myself in the mirror, it jus makes me so happy, a feeling of euphoria.

and ofc, everytime i look at the mirror, i only evr get prettier. it’s jus nvr ending beauty enhancement. my makeup always looks good, it’s as if the best artists did it for me. i can do my makeup professionally n always look good regardless of whether i’m wearin it or not. i can play round n make myself look like dem girls on insta. i can find the best makeup for a decent price. my skin is perfectly clear as if i was takin care of it for yearsssssss n i own the best of perfumes. like damn i have a whole shelf full of them, n i always smell good regardless of wearing it or not. i have this feminine scent that jus draws ppl on. my parents allow me to always wear whatev i want however i want it out. i always am attracting my typa clothing, my own distinct style. ppl try to copy my style but bro, u ain’t even doin it rightttttt. my whole closet is jus filled w the most perf of clothing. i own sm clothes from vetements, true religion, vivienne westwood, off white, rick owens, ralph lauren. i own sm skims, subversive basics, cargo pants, oversized graphic tees, sneakers, scarves, everything. i have the perfect type of jewellery, i own sm necklaces, chains, bracelets, nose rings, earrings. i own the best accessories. i finna b startin the trends w the way i style. i have sm layering accessories. i take the cutest of pics n vids. i always look good in pics n vids in any type of lighting. i’m too photogenic, u can take pics of me off guard n i’d still look hella good in it. mugshots nvr have a thing on me. i have sm followers on social media,, these girls would b makin me their pfp bruh. i’m too fucking beautiful duh? obv. ppl would b remindin me of how hot i am literally ALL THE TIMEEEEEE but ngl it’s nice. my features r all jus perf. anyyyyy vid i take i look pretty, like bro the inverted cam does no shi to me coz i’m hella pretty. ppl would b askin how i became so pretty bc i look like a completely diff person. i always look good when i go out n my parents allow me to dress howev i wanttttt. my makeup looks too fucking pretty to b real tbh, like them filters on insta, but dis irl instead. girlies keep getting jealous at how i look tho.. but it’s ok. i’m too popular on social media, these ppl would rep to my stories complimenting me all the time “u look like dem girls partynextdoor cries ab”. my days always go smoothly n i’m always happy. i love meeeeee, tbh i’d date me if i can.

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cowes · 5 months

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Ordeal By Innocence anon again, for real, I love to hear your thoughts: It does seem like every time Rachel does something she instantly has a lot of regret, with Hester, with confessing Kirsten's secret to Jack, she immediately regrets it, but the damage is still done you know. And yet she hates what she's done in the name of image, but she just can't quite let it go. And also, if Hester is 18 when the show starts... jesus christ that's so much to deal with at that age. And not to word vomit, but 4 episodes was not enough to sit with these guys. Like we see that Mickey has issues with self harm from such a young age. How did that start and where does that impulse come from. Like where did each of them come from, what are their backgrounds. I don't even know how to articulate everything. But you're right, Ella's performance is really sweet, but not exactly innocent, like that moment with the constable? I think in episode 2 where she smiles and acts friendly with him and then sends that look to Tina. And she's the one that is the most outwardly guilty, but also understanding? Like she understands why someone would snap, maybe better than any of them, for the depths of what Rachel did to her. And Mary digs at that and she's the one to get physical first in response. But then Mary is the one holding her when Rachel is murdered. And then her hiding the liquor in the bathroom, like is she a teenager, early twenty year old just hiding booze from her parents or did she develop a problem after everything that happened. And also that scene after Philip assaults her like smoking under the tree and physically trying to erase what happened... man I could go on and on

hey bestieee. (laughing at 'ordeal by innocence anon' as if i have any other anon) as usual u have it so right, this time about rachel. what a fascinating character. she loves kirsten so much that its actually a bit confusing that she just spills her deepest darkest secret in a moment of spite. and then begs for her forgiveness, scared and confused, when she's been hit on the head and is dying. (in a way that's very reminiscent of her panic attacks in the prepper bunker). also the existence of the prepper bunker is so interesting. jack said this:

You're such a gutless fraud, Mother. Smiling like there's nothing wrong. But you built a nuclear bunker in the cellar in case the bombs start falling, so I know you're terrified, I know you're a mess. Just admit it. Stop smiling. Stop pretending. And, in return, I'll stop.

and he has her completely right. i suspect that was the writers using jack as a mouthpiece.

as for the children's backgrounds. i remember this. mary was adopted first, quite young, but unknown background. jack was second, born from kirsten and leo. hester was third, unknown background. tina and mickey were adopted last, at the same time - seems like it was during ww2 bc of the gas mask boxes. mickey seems like he has a london accent (?) and its possible that they were just billeted at first but later adopted - but that's my speculation.

um - i hate to break this but this interview with ella says that she was 18 in the main timeline (c. summer 1956) but younger in flashbacks. (im pretty sure flashbacks begin summer 1953 and end with the murder on christmas eve 1954, which would make hester 15 - 16ish years old). it's all pretty yikes. personally i imagine her as older. because my brain cant handle all that. so "early twenty year old" - once again, u r sooooo right.

mickey is very quiet, but he has a lot of personality ur so right. and the self-harm thing i think i only really picked up on in rewatches. cut himself during childhood lessons with rachel, had to eat with a spoon at dinner because not trusted with a knife, cigarrette burns, has MULTIPLE knife tattoos?? bruh. theres a lot going on there, so much, but he isnt going to talk about it. i think he struggles a lot with self-image. the fact that he's kept his accent. the fact that mary suggests he try to seduce gwenda to stop the marriage.... it all suggests a certain image that certain members of the family (rachel, leo, mary) have of him that he possibly leans into for protection. but the self harm is.... yeah, lot to think about.

mary. oh mary. i love you mary. so cruel and insecure and tragic and petty. horrible husband. horrible life that she isnt happy with. i truly think that after the events of the story she could have been the most well off. rid of the terrible people in her life, new relationships with siblings, new sense of purpose. of course all that would come with crushing anxieties and trauma but we stay positive in this house!!!!

lastly, i just want to say that i never read the books and from what i gather from r/agathachristie is that they dont like this adaption. its okay. all of this extra, dark stuff is added by sarah phelps. ultimately i enjoy it but if we're speculating on why it exists in the story when none of it gets really properly examined, i think that it was added for edginess. that said, i think it was really really effective. i love worldbuilding, i love hints at deeper characters, i love using my imagination. the demons got me on this one.

#ask #ordeal by innocence anon!!!!!!! come talk to me AGAIN #first anon ever #thats ur tag now if u want one #i wrote you a whole essay. i hope you like it #but the last paragraph is especially my point. i love how dramatic the characters are but i always stay aware that its mostly added for lol #i like to view ordeal by innocence with a very balanced watsonian/doylist attitude #yes the characters are made up but they are also real TO ME

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imnotreal-png · 6 months

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>:) -- Entry 1

OK i just smoked a joint after i wrote the date and now im kinda chillin but imma still yap on dis hoe.

I am a loser. Like a huge loser, okay? Like im not dumb or wtv, i may have reached a weird and insane level of self awareness, but im just as much of a loser as anyone else.

I keep catching myself trying to people please and overstepping my boundaries and justifying it with "oh everyone else does it, so what, its normal" like ok dumb bitch that doesn't make it okay, get a grip.

But i will be yapping away abt alot of stupid bullshit i deal with and stupid things make me sad. I am very well aware that I am irrational, but these are things i feel in those moments that i always hold in because i don't want people 2 see that weak side of me. It's embarrassing and it's not me.

In truth, i have nooo idea what i'm doing. I have 0 clue on where i'll be in the future. I didn't think i'd make it this far and not on some suicidal shit (idk if u can say that word here, oops.), i just genuinely thought that i'd somehow perish?? Like i wasn't really real in some weird way. I just didn't exist. Even though i was always the center of drama or the cause of all things chaotic, i was always misunderstood. god that's so fucking cringe but hear me out.

I always said shit that i believed was clear enough to be understood and yet it wasn't. Even my tone apparently has been rude this entire time. But no one would actually tell me how i come off, they just ate it up in silence and then spaz on me. Even now i don't really understand because i truly believe i am very clear on what im saying. Yet it's still...not seen the way im trying to show it? Idk if im making any sense bruh but whatever. Maybe im narcissistic but no one understands my brain the way i attempt to express it...or i guess how i see it. Idk i guess im just frustrated that no one understands me or gets my brain.

Also it's super cringe when people tell me im mature for my age. Literally eat my shit. actual ick. get away from me.

I hate my mom. She hates me too but she hates me bc I'm not the pussy she wishes she was when she was my age. She's the most childish person i know. I genuinely do not care what she thinks of me whatsoever. She's just power hungry and immature. Actually, I don't even hate her, i just hate that she gets to have all this power over me. I just want my freedom, thats it. She can hate my lifestyle or whatever the fuck, as long as im not living with her. At the end of the day, im truly content with who i am as a person and my moral compass etc, she cant affect that. I just need to have my own space and leave her household to finally be free and actually experience life in a comfortable and more peaceful way. I guess that's all i can say rn. I just wish she would respect my boundaries and stop treating me like im her competition and she'll always be superior. She won't and i cannot wait for the day she finally see's that lol.

!! super irrational moment alert !!

LMAO this is super cringe but like when i started music i put "listen 2 my moozik" in my bio bc we say muzik in albanian but americans wud have 2 read it as moozik to get it right + its funny? Ever since i started rlly getting exposure and performing out there, all these NON SLAVS/BALKANS have started putting it in their bio's 🙄 like be fr, its sooo obvious (at least to me). And now some of these mfs i've interacted w startes stealing my lingo and the way i type [this isn't how i type when i txt friends. its worse and i shorten everything in a miserable way cuz its funny] and it's cute at first but now mfs on social media posting the way i do and talking the way i do. [insert side eye bc yeah] and it's kinda cringe cuz they're actually rlly shallow and mainstream people, they just look like they trying 2 hard to be quirky. lol.

im probably tweakin tho idk.

i wish i grew up with art. i wish my parents had that and were able to introduce it to me. I feel like a fraud when i try to be creative and do things. Even with making music. As much as i enjoy it and love it and it really does make me happy, it feels fake. I can't play any instruments, i can't sing, im far from a good writer, fuck if know anything abt music theory...i literally just click buttons and make sounds on my computer lol. I didn't grow up indulging in art and creativity, i was actually always super bad at it. I wish i had a deeper connection with it. I wish i understood it better. I wish i expressed it better. I wish my ideas were my own. I want to be able to create something that is truly mine without feeling like im a fake.

UHHHH so imma just come on here and vent whenever i feel like i have something i need 2 say. This is intended for the void, if u come across it...cringe.

#vent post #journal #diary entry #advice

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