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wntryoongs · 5 months ago

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Why I think "Be Nice To Me" is THE Stucky song

I wrote this because I saw a Captain America edit with this song and thought “wow. This kinda gay”

This is me basically analyzing every lyric of the song and relating them to Stucky. Lol

DNR if you can't handle spoilers.

CA- Captain America

First movie- CA: The First Avenger

Second movie- CA: The Winter Soldier

Third movie- CA:Civil War

TFATWS- The Falcon And The Winter Soldier

Steve- Steve Rogers, Captain America

Bucky- James Barnes, The Winter Soldier

The Captain America Edit

A playlist I made for them cuz I’m extra

(I wrote this in under two hours; Apologies in advance if you think it’s messy.)

I got boulders on my shoulders

Collar bones begin to crack

—Boulders on my shoulders symbolize pressure. This applies to both Steve, who feels the weight of being Captain America, and Bucky, who feels the pressure of being Russia's lethal weapon. Steve was pressured into choosing between saving his best friend or playing by the rules as Captain America. Or in other words, he must choose between his duties as a hero, or his personal loyalties. Meanwhile, Bucky carries the burden of the actions he was forced to do as The Winter Soldier. The relentless torment and psychological effects from his past pressure him further. This pressure impacts his identity and his efforts to forget who he was and what he did.

(TLDR; Steve and Bucky face lots of pressure from their personas as Captain America and The Winter Soldier, while also dealing with personal pressures they have as normal human beings.)

There is very little left of me and it's never coming back

There are certain things you ask of me

There are certain things I lack

—The line "very little left of me", relates to Bucky's struggle with his fragmented identity. His memories are wiped and he is still, having trouble remembering all of them. "There are certain things you ask of me" refers to Steve begging Bucky to remember him even though he can't. The line can also be related to Steve's question in the first CA movie, which is "Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”.

The beginning, we were winning

Now we're just making a fact

—"We were winning" relates to Steve and Bucky's adventure in the first CA movie where they were still winning against their opponents and had each other.

What's it matter anymore?

You believe the lies I tell

There's no meaning to words

But we still sing these songs well

—Despite the betrayals, missteps, and moments of deception, they manage to forgive one another. Steve and Bucky’s whole relationship is built on trust and loyalty that they forged with their bittersweet experiences together. From having each other’s backs in the battlefield, to defending the other from their own teammates (AKA my fave CA movie, CA: Civil War :]).

And we all left it alone

I'm sure it will work itself out fine

They are playing with your numbers

And we are running out of time

—If they didn't meddle in the war, they wouldn't be in the mess they're in. "We are running out of time" can mean two things. One: when they were on the run from the government AND the Avengers (context: Steve became a fugitive in order to protect Bucky. [this fr the same man who left him for a girl...]),they didn't have time to reconnect or reminisce with each other. Their lives were consumed by the necessity of survival. Two: When Bucky blipped right after Steve had just gotten him back, and then when Bucky returned, Steve left again (voluntarily!) for a life that wasn't his, with another version of a woman he used to love (note: version, as in he went to another universe/timeline). After everything they've been through, they never really had the chance to be alone. Their lives were focused on war after war, fight after fight, but no matter what, they never left each other's side.

(TLDR; They never had the time to talk and be with each other because they are always too busy running for their lives and saving one another.)

You're a killer and I'm your best friend

I think it's unfair, your situation

—"killer"= Bucky, best friend= Steve. It was no secret to anyone who's watching that Steve felt guilty and blamed himself for what happened to Bucky. Despite Bucky's actions being beyond his control, Steve struggles with the weight of Bucky’s suffering and the role he believes he played in it. He views Bucky not as the killer he was forced to become but as the friend he grew up with. Steve’s biased belief in Bucky is that he is and will always be innocent, no matter what. This is why he would protect Bucky until the end, even if it means being considered a war criminal.

You say I'm changing,

Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same

Can we talk about this later?

Your voice is driving me insane

—the first two lines refer to the second CA movie, where Steve saw Bucky for the first time again after his apparent death. At that time, Bucky was still The Winter Soldier and didn't recognize Steve, which is why he had "changed" and "didn't stay the same." The last two lines refer to the third CA movie when Steve finally captures Bucky, hoping to get answers and help prove his innocence. However, Bucky was still on the run, and the Winter Soldier programming was still affecting him. He was dealing with trauma as well, making it hard for him to talk.

(TLDR; Bucky is going insane cuz of stress and Steve's pleas are just making things worse.)

I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense

The hand tries to grip the pencil, but the fingers are too tense

—This line is Steve talking, if you replace "poems" with drawings. There's a specific scene from the second CA movie where Steve is trying to sketch a building but he can't focus because he keeps thinking of Bucky. There's even a zoom-in on his hand where you can see him gripping his pencil too hard.

I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet

I'd love to tell you stories, but I can't remember how they went

—This line is Bucky talking. After being a killing machine for more than a decade, his memories are still fragmented and his emotions are suppressed. In their fight scene in the second CA movie, Steve keeps asking Bucky to remember him. Steve even says their famous line, "I'm with you, till the end of the line." while Bucky is actively trying to kill him. This manages to unlock a memory for Bucky. In the third CA movie, when Steve begs Bucky to remember what happened while he was The Winter Soldier, Bucky still cannot remember. No matter how much Bucky tries and wants to help, he simply cannot with his memories missing.

(TLDR; first line is Bucky in the second CA movie. The second line is Bucky in the third CA movie.)

You're a flashlight in a dark room or the loneliest black out

You were all we had left after it all was filtered out

—The first line is Bucky talking about Steve. Bucky has always felt that Steve was the guiding light in his life, pulling him out of the darkest moments. In the series TFATWS, Bucky says "And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me." Here, "he" refers to Steve. Bucky thinks he doesn't deserve forgiveness, yet Steve tirelessly tries to prove to him that he does, again and again.The second line is Steve talking about Bucky. Steve feels that he owes his life to Bucky after the countless times Bucky took care of him. In the second CA movie, Steve said, "Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky." Before Steve became Captain America, when he was just a scrawny guy, Bucky worked countless jobs to make ends meet. When Steve was always sick, Bucky would nurse him. Even while they were fighting in the second CA movie, Bucky dragged Steve out of the water to prevent him from dying. Bucky was still being controlled by Hydra at this time, yet he managed to snap out of it for a moment and recognized Steve (this was right after Steve said IWYTTEOTL). Steve and Bucky are two sides of the same coin. They balance each other out. Without the other, they wouldn't be where they are. Without their dynamic, the CA movies wouldn't be half as good as they are.

(TLDR; Bucky sees Steve as hislight, someone who believes in his redemption despite Bucky's doubts, while Steve feels indebted to Bucky for always being there, even before he became Captain America. They balance each other.)

I'm turning you on in a dark room right before we both pass out

I'll turn you on when I need you, but the batteries ran out

—For the first line, as I said above, they relied on one another even in their darkest times. The second line on the other hand, is Bucky after the blip. He needed Steve to help and guide him in adjusting to this new world he was thrown into. Sadly, "the batteries ran out" means Steve is gone. Despite everything they went through together, Steve left Bucky to face things alone. (F.U STEVE ROGERS)

You're a werewolf and I'm a full moon

And all your very worst enemies will be gone soon

I think you're changing

Don't worry, you don't have to stay the same

Can we talk about this later?

Your voice is driving me insane

—In conclusion, cuz I'm tired and too lazy to continue this anymore— The Front Bottoms made this song for Steve and Bucky :D

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onmyyan · 2 years ago

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Can you please make more Marco's headcanons like I bet he has a weapon collection

TW'S: YANDERE THEMES, MURDER MENTION, BONES AS A GIFT, MARCOS IS A WARNING HIMSELF LMAO (NOT EDITED)

S'more Marcos Hc's

Absolutely has a weapons collection and he names every single one he gets his grubby little hands on.

His guns are all custom made and he has this set of neon throwing knives, razor sharp and deadly.

His creepy little warehouse is a lot less creepy on the inside, posters of his favorite movies and bands litter the walls, sure their spattered with blood but I digress, the training dummies have spray painted smiley faces and when he gets bored he likes to see just how many knives can fit in one face.

He's the best at killing and it shows, has gotten paid to kill twice now and loved it.

And with both of those phat checks he was able to spend time doing his favorite thing, doting on you.

Once bought one of those really cool looking swords from this sketchy shop downtown and tried to decapitate a guy with it but when he brought the weapon down on the poor dudes neck it breaks like a Lego set and they just stand there in this painfully awkward silence.

He of course has to shoot him so no one ever hears of his embarrassment.

Has a few gnarly scars on his legs from his early skateboarding days, if Manny bet him he couldn't grind down their highschools 25ft stair railing he absolutely does it, even though he'd only just got the board that morning.

Had a kill bill phase where he kept trynna pluck people's eyes out like Uma Thurman did the blonde shawty in the trailer.

He the type to silently sway with you in the kitchen at some ungodly hour, his hand on your hips, humming a song he doesn't know the lyrics to.

Stops mid sentence a lot just cuz he can't wrap his head around someone as incredible as you being his.

The biggest, goofiest smile on his face let's you know he's lost in lala land and hasn't heard the last 30 seconds of your conversation

But you find it hard to be mad when he's drawing hearts into your skin and staring into your eyes with so much love it catches you off guard.

Wants matching tattoos but the idea of someone getting that close to you makes his skin itch so that won't happen until he can do it himself.

Him and Manny have weekly hang outs where they each dish and gossip about their individual darlings.

His twin is the only other man he'd trust you to be alone with, and it's not a lack of faith in you, so much as it is a lack of faith in the rest of the world.

His older brothers are no exception to this rule, the rare times you do meet with them Marcos keeps it short and sweet, and he never leaves your side.

If you're a morbid little gremlin like he is, he will absolutely gift you the bones of his latest kill (after a deep cleaning ofc) he tells you they're just super realistic replicas 👀 and you have no idea it's the scumbag who hit on you a few weeks ago, nothing too serious just a finger bone or piece of skull.

Wants to get married yesterday, likes dropping subtle hints like,

"hm our ring fingers looks kinda empty👀" or

"Just hypothetically - like totally not serious but between these two venues which one screams happily ever after? 👀"

As much as his playboy past would lead you to believe he's the noncommittal type, you are his heart and soul, and he'd rather gut himself in a dirty street gutter then be with anyone but you.

The second he realizes he loves you he's got it in his mind that you're endgame, he will be your loving husband and you will be buried together.

Sends you those deep-fried semi scary memes and TikTok's when it's 3AM and he knows you aren't sleep.

He knows because he cloned your phone and can constantly see what you're doing.

Reads romance novels for ideas on how to well, romance you, because he heard you mention once that you loved how they portray love in the stories.

Sprays your perfume in the room when you're at school/work/away from him long enough and it helps to quell his possessiveness

Just barely though because you mention lunch and whoop look who's showing up, food in hand and mentally manifesting you say fuck it and just go home with him.

Sometimes he has these night terrors where you're just gone and he wakes up crying, chest heaving from the heavy pit that had formed, and god forbid you're not in bed when he wakes up because he needs to be held, needs to lay his ear on your chest and hear you're still there, still with him.

Tries to make you breakfast in bed once and gives you both food poisoning but on the bright side you stay in bed beside him all day and he finds all the running back and forth to the bathroom totally worth it.

You throw on one of his shirts in a hurry one morning and he is transfixed, talking absolutely gobsmacked by how tantalizing you look when you're completely surrounded by him.

Low-key sabotages your wardrobe by hiding your shirts when he knows you're in a rush just so have to wear something of his.

"Sorry baby, no clue where that pesky shirt ran off to buuut I just so happen to have this here wonderfully made Versace button up of mine that really makes your eyes pop :) how lucky is that huh?"

Sprays it with cologne the night before so if any mf gets too close they smell him.

Can't say no to you, like at all.

Type of mf to throw his stupidly expensive jacket on the floor so you don't have to step in a puddle because he seen it in a movie once. (You could have just avoided the puddle but he looked so proud of himself as he held your hand to jump over it you had to indulge him)

Horny drunk but also a super lovey dovey drunk.

Loves taking you to concert's, especially when his favorite metal bands are playing, being surrounded by the music he loves is only enhanced when he looks down and sees you enjoying it too.

Talks in his sleep, 50% of the time its terrifying, nonsensical, ramblings but the other half is all about you, even when he's unconscious, you're on his mind.

#yananswers #anon submission #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere oc x reader #marcos delmont x reader #yandere oc marcos #marcos x reader

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shrikecracker · 10 months ago

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my stance on wilbur's apology

After some consideration, I decided I would no longer be supporting Wilbur Soot as a content creator.

While initially, I was willing to give him a chance (one of my bigger flaws is to easily give benefit of the doubt even after people act horrendously), after seeing multiple of my other favorite CCs speak out against him and make more accusations, I'm no longer willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. In the end, I don’t know him as a person, and with multiple people closer to him expressing their experiences with him, I am not going to trust his word alone and instead support the victims in the situation.

My bursona designs, which I had been HAPPILY WORKING ON BEFORE the allegations broke out and that I haven't posted yet, will get redesigned and turned into more fleshed-out OCs, distancing them from his characters. I put a lot of effort into my versions of them, and I refuse to waste the work and love I put into them just because the person who inspired me to draw them in the first place is despicable trash. I will also not draw other fan art of him and will focus on other fandoms and other Minecraft CCs.

Following up on that, I probably won't be supporting Lovejoy either. I have most of their songs downloaded on my computer (I intended to use them for edits, but that idea is dead now) so I might still listen to them since that way he can't profit from them. As hot as this take is, I think it's okay to separate art from the artist as there are ways to do that (listen to unofficial lyric videos, don't buy merch, don't recommend them to others, or don't go to their concerts.).

My love goes out to Shubble and all the victims and his personal friends who have felt manipulated and intimidated by him. My love goes to any one of his fans who feel betrayed that the person they looked up to turned out to be an ab*sive prick. You might feel a lot right now, but eventually, you'll be able to move on and recover.

In conclusion, go support Shubble and others affected. Don't defend him, don't harass anyone, and take a break from the fandom if you're feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Trust me, it helps.

#wilbur soot #wilbur situation #wilbur from lovejoy #shubble #shelby shubble #shubble situation #shubblesupportsquad

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wilhelmsbee · 11 months ago

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Okay honestly? I'll just take you up on that offer because I'm obsessed with your edits in general, but if you ever feel like talking some more about that Wilhelm edit you did to the song Ribs by Lorde??? Would love that because that edit lives rent-free in my head! (no pressure though, I just like the idea of like... director's commentary or something for edits haha)

I HOPE EVERYONE IS READY FOR ME TO BE INSANELY DEEP ABOUT THIS EDIT OH MY GOD

preface: i talk ab why i chose each scene for the lyrics, then colouring/font, idk if this is the directors commentary you wanted but like this is how I think about all my edits

We're reeling through the midnight streets- initially, I actually wanted to start it on the this dream isn't feeling sweet line but it just didn't fit in instagrams 1-minute time frame ANYWAY This scene has always been the most painful to me. Wilhelm realises at this moment that he's truly, undeniably alone in his life. Everyone he trusts (or is supposed to trust) has left him, and he has nobody left to go to. He's alone, going through his own personal hell, finding out his only family cares more about public perception than him as a person. It's like the beginning of the worst spiral we see from Wilhelm. Its quite a literal scene-to-lyric moment, but also the we're part feels (to me) like him-as-well-as his public self. Crown Prince Wilhelm and Wille are such separate parts, and its all he has left.

And I've never felt more alone- The THERAPY SCENE! Specifically this is the I think it's better not knowing how it could feel scene, because that truly is the most heartbreaking viewpoint I've ever seen from a character. It was better not being in love because I couldn't miss it. He might be getting closer to the other boys in the secret society, as well as Felice, but he's not really breaking past the surface level with anyone. Not even Felice knows the depths of his pain, he keeps it all to himself. The loneliness crushes him, he wishes he didn't know how love felt. As far as he's concerned, he's never loving someone else again (true) and he's never going to be able to love Simon again (false). In this moment there's this feeling of emptiness. He has nothing he actually cares about, and he wishes that he never cared in the first place.

It feels so scary, getting old- He wasn't supposed to fill this role, giving a speech as the Crown Prince of Sweden about his brother's passing. Wilhelm's character (obviously) fundamentally switches after Erik's death. He used to be a lot sillier, more reckless and more willing to fight back against his parents. But now he's got every single eye on him, watching him. Put into an adult role at the age of sixteen, forced to carry the burden of spare his whole childhood, then suddenly forced to be the sole heir. Even if he had planned to maybe one day be the heir (which he didn't, judging by the he should be here instead of me comment) it wasn't supposed to happen until he was older and wiser. He stops acting like a kid because he can't be a kid anymore. The cuts between the frog/getting the frog/breaking the globe aimed to emphasise this. He's lost all connection to his brother, he's in a place he didn't expect to be until he was extremely old (if ever), and he's lost control of his own life.

We can talk it so good, we can make it so divine, we can talk it good how we wish it would be all the time- I wanted to frame Simon in this as a sort of healthy distraction for Wilhelm. He was the only person in his life who actually looked out for him and cared. They're happy and they're smiling, all the clips are intimate even if there's someone else there. It highlights how they care. It's good, it's divine. It's what kept him happy after the hardest thing in his life (so far). In this edit, he desperately wants it back because he knows how much it helped. It was the only bright thing he had. The cutting to Wilhelm alone in s2 after how we wish it would be all the time just aims to really enforce that he wished it was still like that, wishing for someone who truly cared and loved him. It's all yearning, pining, wishing things were better. Every single clip is a clip in which Wilhelm has been pining over Simon. There's an ache he expresses that was just so, so important to this edit.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- Lots of clips of Wilhelm trying to process things. He's been forced to change his entire life, after all being a prince is a privilege, not a punishment. The 'dream' of being royal crushes him, despite the fact he can't ever voice it. Walking down the halls of his castle, sitting in his private boarding school therapy session with an actual therapist, being driven home in a private car from the party where he was filmed fighting. These luxuries juxtaposed with his actual circumstances hurt. He can't complain because he's got it best in the country, but it isn't a system designed for him, it doesn't want to help him, it wants to make him conform. It isn't fair, but he can't say that.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- He's forcing himself to try and fit the mould while also being himself, and all it causes is pain. He's actively fighting against the institution he was raised in simply by existing. The panic attack from being perceived holding Simon's hand. Deleting his contact after his mother told him 'no more mistakes.' Trying to play nice at the dinner table even though his whole life was crumbling around him and the institution was failing everyone even though nobody believed him. The panic attack/anxiety vomit from Simon going public, against Wilhelm's institution, knowing that he might not be able to protect him. He's got no control in any of these scenes, its a desperate fight against himself. He's a publicity risk to his own family if he is true to himself, and he's a risk to himself if he isn't.

And I've never felt more alone- Desperately trying to comfort himself when nobody else can (or wants to) comfort him. After the fight at the party all his family cared about was the PR response. When August said that Simon would take the fall for the drugs, all he cared about was getting Alexander back. During the uniform tailoring, all Jan-Olof cared about was tradition and making Simon as background as he could. When Wilhelm gave up meditating to soothe his anxiety, he was upset at his inability to calm down, despite the fact he's never been given an opportunity to be calm. Nobody really knows about his mental health struggles, he just has to fight through them and desperately try to self-soothe. Nobody else will comfort him after all.

It feels so scary getting old- Each of these scenes show Wilhelm being viewed as his role instead of being viewed as a person. He clearly struggles with being viewed as just the Crown Prince of Sweden, especially since that was never supposed to be his role, so of course it hurts when he's viewed as just a pawn in the Royal Family. Especially from people he loves. Yes, it was undeniably hard when he first became the Crown Prince, and it absolutely would've crushed him to know that when he had a panic attack he couldn't be alone. But these scenes are interlaced with him being viewed as a political pawn by Simon and his mother. People he loves, people he trusts. He's just a public statement to his mother, and he's just a human representation of the Crown to Simon (in these scenes not in general ofc). He's never going to be able to be his own person again, because he's got a country to run when he grows up and a public image to form between now and then.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- The lyrics are now getting more compounding, it's louder and it's closer. He's fighting to be heard, he's being ripped off of his desk, he's forcing down a panic attack because he needs to be happy for Simon. His emotions aren't allowed, he can't feel anything negative so he won't feel anything at all. Nothing in his life feels good anymore, so he's fighting the losing battle to just try to break even. Nobody would dream of this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. He can't even voice that, though.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- Now he's reminiscing about when things were easier, but they weren't, really. Yes, the placard was there the night he first kissed Simon, but that was also the beginning of the horrific realisation he wasn't built for the world he is forced to live in. His mother says 'no more mistakes' and he already knows it means he has to leave Simon. When that doesn't work and it all falls out, he's left to try and clean his own image up by nailing the closet shut with every fibre of his being. His life wasn't better, he's grasping for anything to show him life will be okay again. Everything has crumbled and now he's got nothing, so he yearns for when he had something, even if it was just something to lose.

And I've never felt more alone- He is constantly left. Something that isn't brought up enough is how often he's just abandoned. He has no one to talk to, he's forced to work through his struggles alone because his existence is political and any sign of weakness being public could reflect badly on his family. He becomes the embodiment of the Prince he could never be. Walking to the lake and reminiscing about when he would be happy there. Being left alone by his brother, who didn't even reply to him asking to say hi to his mother and father, who he then never sees in person again. Then wearing his brother's jacket. He's alone, and all he does is pine for a time when he wasn't. All he wants to do is go back and do it all again, and he can't. But he also can't move forward, he doesn't want to, he doesn't know how.

It feels so scary- Only two scenes so I'll discuss 'em one by one: -At Erik's funeral, there's a more literal fear of getting old. I don't want to repeat myself more than I already have but obviously, that forced Wilhelm to grow up and be more mature, and act like a Crown Prince instead of just the Prince. More attention, less room for error. He's terrified of fucking it up, and there's nobody who can help him. -The breakup scene is more metaphorical. He has to grow up and figure out what he wants to do with his life, while also having to grow to understand what he actually has the ability to do with his life. He's not ready to do this because he wants things to be good and happy but it was ripped away from him. He can't just pretend everything is alright anymore, but the amount of maturing he needs to do seems impossible at this moment, especially knowing he was in love with a boy when he wasn't allowed to be. He tries to be both a Prince and Wilhelm and all it did was betray his boyfriend's trust.

getting old- Wilhelm shutting his computer and pressing his hands to his eyes. It's exhausting. He's exhausted. Constantly working to try and be who he's supposed to be as well as being himself and trying to navigate his emotions in a vulnerable state is just too much. He can't carry it all, so he just gives up for a moment. It all goes quiet, but not in a good way. When you're that overwhelmed, the lack of anything just leaves more room to spiral.

FONT CHOICES

Intro: literally my handwriting. I wanted this to feel personal and almost like a desperate written plea to go back to when it was good, and what's more personal than my own handwriting am I right!!!

First chorus loop: Magazine font, it's in pieces and it doesn't match. There's a sporadic chaos, like he's beginning to feel it but it isn't there yet. The text isn't fully opaque, it's in front of him. We're seeing it before he does in this context. Trying to reflect how the media knows things before he does, like his brothers death, the tape leaking, all that good stuff.

Second chorus loop: Big, Bold, Unavoidable! I rotobrushed Wilhelm in every scene so that the text could be intertwined with him. He can't escape the reality of his situation, he is getting crushed by these feelings. The song gets louder and more claustrophobic, the text is in the scenes with him. It haunts him, it's everywhere. When he closes the laptop and it all goes silent, its not relaxing, it just makes you anxious in a different way.

COLOURING

I actually chose the blues from the intro scene, mainly in the night sky bit of the frame. Also! All the happy Wilmon scenes have a higher saturation, though you can't tell because of how I did the colouring. It just results in them being a little bit brighter, because things were good then and I believe it should feel good then, too.

#ellieoughposting #ellieeditrambles #new tag for if anyone else asks me ab any of my edits #cannot stress enough ill write one of these for any edit you want #just ask #anyway #edit analysis #wilmon edit #no beta we die like erik #wilhelm x ribs #also idk how else to mention this but this edit was a vent edit #like yes i think this hard about vent edits i have autism i cant not think

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at-thestillpoint · 1 year ago

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fanfic end of the year asks: 1, 13, 19

[eoy asks!]

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

It has to be texas man. This two-parter was a culmination of an absurd amount of world-building, a healthy smidge of trusting myself as a writer, and an actually enjoyable editing process. I don't often re-read my own fic, but I find myself coming back to this one! Plus, it has naughty aerodynamics.

13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

I usually write to silence, because I really struggle to write to music with lyrics! So there was a lot of VSQ does country (Shania, Faith, George, The Chicks) when the silence got too eerie. I also had a pump-up/pregaming to write playlist for the FWB fic that I listened to on my walks to Trader Joe's. I can't figure out how to share an actual Spotify playlist without doxxing myself, so here's a screenshot! Almost exclusively Taylor.

19. any new fics to start next year?

What do we consider new 😅? Nothing is going to be ready on January 1, or even in January, but I am recommitting myself to the two WIPs that I've been talking about all year, while also trying to talk myself out of the Natasha and Jake Are the Ones Who Get Shot Down Instead fic.

#come talk to me!

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plantsarepeopletoo · 1 year ago

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Only Friends Music Ep2 (2/2)

Part one covers the first half of EP2, or you can find links on my pinned comment.

This is a series of posts taking a closer look at the music of only friends. Reminder, Playing with the music is like body language, it moves with the conversation. Verbal says something either through lyrics or something like a song title.

Warning, this is long, but a lot of it is lyrics and music players.

Last song of [2/4]

Song: Alright Come On by Sonic Spark Type: Vocal Scene: Friends go wakeboarding

The friends and Top go wakeboarding and Alright Come On sounds like a party song, something to hype everyone up. Lyrics start when Top goes out on the water,

Oh you're so pretty and mean It ain't what it seems But you really stand out against the lined up faces

They edit the song so the lyrics pause, and we get Mew correcting Cheum, saying Top isn’t his boyfriend. The lyrics start again when April is out wakeboarding

When are we going to be alone I guess the fight is on A knock out for a kiss in the empty spaces

At that line, Top turns to look at Boston, who had been staring at him.

[3/4]

Song Blue Skies by JAKE $ING

Scene: Top is helping Mew put together a table

Type: Verbal/Playful

In the show, the song has no lyrics, but it does use the song as a way of expressing the emotion, and beats of the scene. The drum beat starts after Top says, “so that you can think of me when you look at it”. And continues while Mew offers the cookies, and Top tries to get Mew to feed him. The rest of the instruments come in after Top says “I've been doing this for so long that my arms are tired. Can’t you see?” Everything but the drums pauses when Mew picks up a cookie, and there are three bass drum beats like a heartbeat before Mew asks “How about I feed you like this? If you want it come and get it”

Keyboard and guitar start up again, Mew puts the cookie in his mouth, a snare beat as Top moves to get the cookie, and the song continues in full from there. It dissipates along with the mood when Mew pushes Top away after he goes in for a kiss, yelling “You can’t do that”

Here are the lyrics, not in the show, (Translated lyrics in [brackets]. Used google translate, so I left the original Korean.)

Wow You look so perfect I’ll hit the ground If you keep on looking at me like that And you Don’t know what you do to me And I Would probably go and end it all If you found out No words can explain what I’m feeling Being with you feels as easy as breathing And right when I do you just Go on and steal it Am I out of my mind? You got me so high Being with you feels like blue skies [I'm bored day after day without you] 너 없이 하루 하루 지루해 [I can't think when I see you] 난 널 보면 생각 잘 안돼 [Because you are so beautiful] 아름다워서 You got me so [Time goes so fast when I'm with you] 너랑 있을때 시간이 너무 빨리 가 [Now when I see another girl] 이제는 딴 여자 볼때 Out of focus, [I can’t see] 보이지 않아 [Only you] 오직 너 뿐이야 (okay) [Never turn my gaze] 내 시선은 절대 안 돌려 [From the first moment I saw you] 처음 본 순간 부터 It was clear skies from day one got me so high [Floating] 붕뜬 spaceship, we in that ufo sight (we in that) I’m falling fast for you, no parachute [Leave now] 이제 떠나버려 lonely life 'Cause I finally found something true

Lyrics tell of falling for someone, but being horribly afraid to let it be known, I know I’ve gone off about Mew needing control, and I am thinking it’s because of fear. Top has so much more experience than him, and @VivienneActing just tweeted that Mew may be Demi, so this might be one of the first times Mew is feeling like this. That’s why he needs to control the beats of the relationship, or Top might set his own pace again like he did at the beginning. I do think Mew has feeling for Top, but he might not trust Top enough to let him actually kiss. Especially as their first kiss escalated so quickly beyond Mew’s control

While the song talks about it being easy to be with a person, and being so high, it also talks about falling without a parachute. Emotions both new, and stronger than he’s ever known. A mixture of euphoria and fear.

For further reading on Mew thoughts from @rocketturtle4:

More specific, but slightly older (EP3 and before writer’s Demi tweet) here.

And more general, but more recent (EP4) thoughts on communication here

The Negotiation scenes:

This section is a bit different because we get three scenes of negotiation in a row, and just watching how differently they use the music. Especially with Sand and Ray's scene at the end.

Song: Look At Me Closely by Blue Topaz Scene: Top asks to stay the night at Mew’s place, after the cookie.

“Can I stay the night here?” Top starts the negotiation as the drums of Look at me closely start. Mew puts up a boundary, saying Top can stay, but sleep on the sofa. Top pushes at the boundary, testing if he can get more, “I didn’t get out of line (before). Don’t you trust me?”

Side note, look at everything someone says if they say this very closely. Are they pushing you to do something you’re not comfortable with?

Back in the scene, Mew remains firm, reminding Top that they have reset, this is their first sleepover. That “We are not a thing.” The guitars come in, without the bass, but they continue their talk. Mew stays firm in what he wants until Top relents, only asking for a blanket, and the music fades.

Song: Running Around In The Dark by Ryan James Carr Scene: Boston and Nick talk about their relationship

Running around in the dark- Nick fumbling around in the dark trying to be more than just a “favorite”.

Nick starts with "What are we to each other?" Boston counters with giving him options, "Fuck buddies, or Friends with Benefits?" As Nick thinks, drums start playing, the negotiation has started.

The bass comes in while Boston explains, fuck buddies don’t care what the other does, while friends with benefits are friends but they sleep with each other. The music pauses when Nick asks "And what am I to you?"

"What is the matter with you? Don't tell me you're into this already. If so, I'll stop. I hate dramas." Boston has completely over ridden the negotiation, using his trump card of stopping completely if Nick keeps pushing. An low, droning organ song plays as Nick backtracks, "I'm not being dramatic. I asked out of curiosity." Higher piano notes come in right before Nick chooses fuck buddies, trying to set a boundary. Boston immediately pushes in, scooting closer to Nick, trying to appease him. "We can push our status a little farther"

The music just sounds sad, slow, with a distant sounding piano that doesn't quite have a melody.

Song: unknown Scene: Sand and Amm outside the bar

Next scene is with Sand, Amm, and Ray outside the bar. They play with the music again in a way I really liked. Sand and a girl walk out of the bar, Lost in a dream is playing, steady rock, confident. Stops when Ray shows up

While Ray and Sand are talking we get a drum, stopping with a Bass slide at “Have you known each other long”

Sand replies and we get a bassline and drums back as Ray talks to Amm, then music pauses “Come to my place instead.” And music comes in with everything, drums, bass, guitar, Ray is dominating the negotiation. It goes on until Sand pulls Ray away from Amm. We get a bass drum start up at Ray begging Sand to go with him (With or without Amm). Cymbals and snare join as full drum beat at “You’re such a pesterer” And Sand apologizes to Amm, the beat pauses for her to scold him. She leaves then we get the full song. It's one of my favorite music scenes, do check it out, if you have time.

Song: อย่าดีกว่า (Better Not) by Micro Scene: Sand and Ray driving to Ray’s house Type: Vocal

Next scene, Sand and Ray are going to Ray’s. A Micro song plays i the background of their conversation. Ray sings the Chorus:

I better not, Just forget it, I should forget, forget it, Keep telling myself that I should not.

Whole song is about having a secret crush on someone and watching them, but the part that is actually louder, that Ray sings along to, is about not starting, about forgetting about the whole thing. EP4 Spoiler: So, we know who this was about now. And it’s interesting to me that Ray is singing this song with Sand in the car. Like he knows he still has an attachment to someone else, but being with Sand feels good. That the old feelings have no hope in being reciprocated so he should let go.

[4/4]

Song: Halo: sing me to sleep Scene: Ray and Sand talking at Ray’s house Type: Vocal

Ray and Sand at Ray’s house, as Sand offers to be Ray’s friend there is a soft acoustic guitar. Until Ray starts playing Sparkle Shirt Shiny Shoes on the record player. It’s funky and just serves as background music. But, There is a sound, it’s like a head rush, when Ray asks if Sand has ever been hit on by a guy.

When Sand responds “If we click, I’m open.” Halo: Sing me to sleep starts, and plays until Ray lights his cigarette with Sand’s.

There are no lyrics in the show:

Broke, I can’t afford to let you in But we’re bad, so what’s the harm in one more sin? Take off your halo, you’re beautiful I don’t care if it tears me apart We couldn’t let go, from the get-go I think we’re past tryna to hide who we are Baby, I don’t mind you calling I’m still awake, come on by Say the things you shouldn’t be saying I don’t want you to act Like you still have that halo, halo, got that halo Like you still have that halo, halo, you should let it go Don’t stop, I love it when you touch my skin I know it’s bad, I don’t care if the walls are caving in right now I know it’s bad but I don’t care, I don’t care I need you to kill off my lonely nights Otherwise I’ll just be dead inside I can’t keep pretending you don’t exist Hate the lies, you know I can’t resist, yeah (chorus) Sing me to sleep, I need you, want you Don’t wanna dream, just lay ‘til darkness Sing me to sleep, I need you watching Don’t wanna dream, just lay ‘til darkness

Ray and Sand are already falling, even if they don’t admit it to each other or to themselves. They can’t afford to let the other in, but they can’t let go either. Sand tries in vain a few times in the next episodes, but he can’t, the puppy dog eyes melt him.

Ray needs Sand to kill off his lonely nights. “I don’t mind you calling, I’m still awake, come on by, say the things you shouldn’t be saying” Minor EP4 spoiler, Ray has Mew as his emergency contact, will drop everything to go to him. I could see Sand wanting to be that person, Ray’s Emergency Contact, even now, in this moment, Sand cannot keep his eyes off Ray.

Song: A Heavy Load by Sven Karlsson Scene: After the smoky kiss Type: vocal

Music starts when Ray asks "Open enough for someone like me?" and pauses while they talk about if they can be friends if they continue. Then comes back after Sand agrees, after Ray puts out his cigarette, the lyrics play:

Don’t come round and waste my time A generation of my time There is nothing we can do To stop the plague from breaking through

It mirrors Halo, walls are caving in, the plagues breaking through. Lyrics continue, not in the show:

There’s a heavy load upon my back No way to throw it off For a second I believe it’s gone I’m just a fool out of luck Standing on the open road Always with the heavy load Don’t let me carry it along I think my head is full of stone There’s not a whole lot I can do When all my visions have come true There are times when everything feels great I’m on top of the world But eventually my spirit breaks Can’t get the final word (Chorus) Don’t come round and waste my time A generation of my time There is nothing we can do To stop this plague from breaking through

They’re just beginning their relationship, a relationship that will carry the weight of their loneliness, there could be more positive songs, just like how Nick and boston’s start with Lurking TIger, Mew and Top’s start with Always Always and Check for Pulse.

It’s interesting to note that the hints the music is giving us about the characters' emotional arcs are paying off in the following episodes, despite the characters lack of self awareness in this episode. These songs are from episode 2, and as we have continued through episodes 3 and 4 more of our characters' arcs and feelings have been revealed to us (and sometimes themselves). Ray and Sand’s progress and self awareness have paid off the lyrics we see in this episode about feelings that need letting go of (Ray and Mew) and Sand and Ray’s combined loneliness and desire for an Important Person to share their loads. Mew has continued to struggle with control of his own desires and boundaries and we have seen how his feelings are overcoming his fear and desire for control. Though unlike Ray and Sand he seems to be lacking self awareness. Top continues to feel out the cracks in Mew’s boundaries (though whether he’s pushing through them out of a desire to be more or a desire to take and leave remains to be seen). Nick continues to try to get more from Boston, but most of their songs have not had words. They’re all going to boil over at the start of EP3 when we get a hip hop song begging for love. But that is in the next post!

Thank you so much, @rocketturtle4 and @shouldiusemyname for everything, editing, helping organize, and putting up with me.

#Only friends meta #Only friends the series #ofts #only friends #only friends music #Plant's OFTS music #only friends ost #Somehow I didn't tag this?

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fanaticsnail · 1 year ago

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Just read "run away with me"

Snail you can't keep getting away with this!!!!!! There were Jane Austen/Bridgeton vibes but in the best way, they didn't conflict with the typical comedic and upbeat vibes of One Piece at all it just Worked. The wistfulness of wanting to live and be loved and I seriously appreciate how you respected it as a dream? Bc they weren't centreing their dream and life around another it was about what they wanted. The way Luffy had so much respect for that dream as well was so touching, it reminded me of Meg from Greta Gerwigs Little Women. How Greta had said that Meg was almost ashamed of wanted to find love & a family, but she knows her dream and has enough courage to fight for it

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSN5gUm6R/

^it made me think of this edit I saw once and had to SCROLL to find again

(also, I love how everyone was like "she's hot" - thanks, I know 🤭)

Song-wise, I thought immediately of "arms unfolding" by Dodie (hEARTBREAKING) - it's a song not about from the singers perspective but about two people who fell out of a relationship and decided to give it another go, but it could also work for someone hurt by love once and trying again. Similarly, "Ready Now" by Dodie as well has the same vibes of learning to trust and open up again, not necessarily to love but to accept that people can be kind

It also made me think of my fave artist for the last two years Leanna Firestone. Now I could talk about her songs for ages BC there is a multiverse within them, she will have lyrics that reference previous songs and I can and have written notes and paragraphs recording the references. Specifically, it made me think of "Reincarnation" and "Love of my Life" (and you should listen in that order if you do) which is about how she had a situationship who didn't work out ("you just didn't like me that much"). She put so much into it that she was scared she'd lost the love of her life and that she'd be nothing without it ("Phantom Pain / the rapture" < one of my fave songs) only to realise that love works through reincarnation so she has a new love of her life.

So, because I now have brain rot, here are some of her songs and who they remind me of:

"Google Translate" (context wise, Not Good. This was the bad situationship. However, it is very cute) - Sanji!! From Sanjis perspective. The singer learnt french in highschool so the love interest will translate things to tell her, including "Je pense que Lea est tre Jolie" (you are pretty), and she knows that the L/I doesn't fall as easily as she does (sound familiar?) So she will tell him 'i love you' in every other language instead so she doesn't jinx it

"Gambling Addiction" Sanji! Singer has a gambling addiction and keeps betting everything on relationships and people, but keeping up hope.

"Smitten / Vulnerable" (her album has two songs back to back in one song, bc some of them are short) Sanji again! "You smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing that I'd ever seen, then you apologised and you covered your mouth because you're insecure about your crooked teeth, but, can I just say this; I'm kinda glad that you never got braces, because I like your smile just the way it is". He deserves to be loved just as fiercely as he loves!! Vulnerable is about being vulnerable but knowing that he likes that about you because it means you feel safe to open up.

"God and the Government" Sanji once again, OR Luffy. Saying you didn't think you'd ever want to get married but you would for this one person. "I'd paint the picket fence white, put it up myself, say 'i can do it alone' you'll tell me you know but you'll still help, and that's exactly why you'll make the perfect husband"

"Strawberry Mentos" Luffy Luffy Luffy LUFFY!!!! This is so Luffy. The love interest keeps eating her favourite candy (strawberry Mentos) so she'll taste it when they kiss, and L/I is so sweet she's going to get cavities but it will be worth it. So she buys and eats black licorice even though she hates it just to see him smile at the taste. And the description is so Luffy "you're deliberately kind, you make efforts to share your time, you're not afraid of your feelings and you're not afraid of mine, I never knew love could be soft, I never knew love could be light, and now I'm so helplessly sugarhigh on you"

"(redacted)" Sanji or Nami. The song is actually about a girl, she likes the singer and the singer is pretty sure she likes her back but doesn't want to give her hope and use her as an experiment, very sad. (The singer did turn out to be bi and wrote a short song about it, but didn't release it)

"TN / I always knew" (but just focusing on TN, not the other one). Anyone, but kinda Usopp vibes. Long distance love song about wanting to meet up and show someone the places you grew up and the previous versions of yourself. And even if they end before the visit, she still wants them to go there because she knows they'll like it

"Suneater" anyone (particularly Luffy tho). It's actually a song about Tamaki Amajiki from Boku no hero academia. The singer was a fan and wrote a song about one of the characters. She compares the love interest to being so bright they swallowed the sun, but she only swallowed the moon and reflects his light. Lots of metaphors about seeing stars and constellations, and comparing them to constellations, being eclipsed, heaven and earth colliding when they met, being the moon to someone's sun. "I will keep the tides in tune if you will make the flowers bloom, and gravity will do the rest and pull me back to you, just like Hades and Persephone, the boy who ate the sun and me, you have brought sunshine to the dark side of the moon"

"Right Person, Right time" any! As opposed to the song "You just didn't like me that much" where they weren't the right person at the wrong time they just didn't like her that much. This time, it's the right person so it's the right time. Very sweet

And if you're in the mood for angst, I would suggest

"Do you wanna be friends?" / Newly unrequited (yes that's the whole name, including the ""). Song about being in a situationship and then getting asked to be friends, and deciding to do it despite the pain bc you want to have them any way you can. Followed by a song apologising for breaking your promise to be friends because it hurts too much

Or "Burnt out" (breakup song, very painful, you just have to listen to get it)

Sorry for the long ask, but I really love the artist so I got some serious brain rot (other than these love songs I'd suggest anything from the 'Good Grief' EP, which is less love focused and quite sad except for 'Foreverever' which is much more upbeat and about being a teenage girl forever because 'her pain is my pain I'll carry her with me', or "Alone Forever Probably", or "Least Favourite only Child")

HELLO YOU! I have never seen Little Women, but after that edit: I know I'm going to absolutely adore it. I love Bridgerton - I didn't think I would, but now I'm a hopeless romantic and I can't not watch it. The soundtrack for the whole series speaks to my soul.

Balancing occupations in the One-Piece world and centralizing romance is a tricky feat, especially because I wanted to lay out all of my angst at the Happy-Go-Lucky Captain.

The Luffy Fic with the Dodie Suggestions: arms unfolding and ready now absolutely fit. I adore her tone, very beautiful, romantic and whimsical: "She" could also fit that fic, from Luffy's perspective.

Now, I'm going to link the Leanna Firestone songs here for future reference:

Reincarnation

Love of my Life

Phantom Pain / the rapture

Now then, onto your song suggestions for future fics. I adore listening to new music and sharing melodies to aid in writing.

You are putting me to WORK today, @sexc-snail!

Sanji:

Google Translate

Gambling Addiction

Smitten / Vulnerable

God and the Government

(Redacted)

Luffy:

strawberry mentos

right person right time

MHA: suneater

Usopp:

TN / I always knew

Misc Break-up:

Do you wanna be friends

Burn Out

Good Grief

Foreverever

Alone Forever Probably

Least Favourite Only Child

I love her indie-tone and the almost spoken-word mixing peacefully with the melody. She does pain and angst exceptionally well. The way she uses her tone to dance along rhythmically brings me way back to the high school days in band and orchestra studies: I cherish being drawn back there, truly.

I can't wait to get to writing more! I'm glad you enjoyed the Luffy fic, I wasn't sure how to go about writing for him, but I'm very happy with the way it turned out in the end.

Masterlist here, just in case!

#one piece #opla #opla fic #one piece live action #x reader #song recs #soundtrack to your fics

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ladytauria · 1 year ago

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<333 4, 8, 14, 18, 22, 35, 46, 58, 74 for the ask game pls!!

thank you mayaaaa <333

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Everywhere! Fics and books I've read, random song lyrics (whether the rest of the song fits or not), random posts on tumblr, images, posts on twitter, prompt lists, prompt blogs, etc. etc.

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

Vastly depends on the story. I've had fics where I've had the beginning and ending figured out, but the middle is a mystery. I've also had fics where the middle was a breeze but the beginning and ending were both like pulling teeth!

I will say I tend to enjoy middles more on shorter fics (uhh, less than 15k) and beginnings & endings more on longform stuff!

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I try to put myself in the character's shoes as much as possible! Figure out what emotion(s) they're feeling and then draw on my own experiences with it, lol. Especially if I can feel it a bit myself <3

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Yes.

Sometimes the fic title is the thing that inspired the idea, like when I'm inspired by a lyric. Sometimes it just comes to me in the planning process.

Sometimes a fic title comes to me during the writing process. I'll write a line that just seems to capture the core of what I'm going for, and use that or something like it for the title!

A lot of times I end up titling the fic after, though. I'll scroll through the song lyrics I have saved for potential titles, just in case one fits. I'll look up songs that may have the theme or a similar vibe to what I'm gong for. I'll read through the fic looking for a line. I'll summarize it, try to capture the vibe. It can take a bit!! But I get there eventually. After a lot of whining :P

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Speaking specifically for fanfic!

Probs won't ever write first person again. It's not something I vibe with in fic, it's hit or miss for me in published fiction too, and it's just... Not a style I like?

Omniscient POV. When I try it it feels too much like head hopping to me, so xD

Can't see myself writing cheating or hard non-con. Dubcon, yeah; gentle nc especially if its nc-to-c, but not anything harder. I will do comfort after, though!! Hmm... Detailed torture scenes or anything gory bc that squicks me out a little lol ^^;

I can think of a few others but I think that's good for now xD

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

Good question.

Honestly, I haven't written them in fic a lot? But when I do, I generally try to keep in mind their motivations and like... reasons for doing what they do.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

Hmm... Character or emotion driven!

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

Hmm, I mean, all of them at various points! I guess I'll give brainstorming the top slot because I just have... so many ideas. Therefore I must enjoy coming up with them 😂😂😂

Although nothing compares to writing when it's flowing!!

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Does it feature two characters taking care of each other? A lot of focus on trust and vulnerability and willingly offering up the softer parts of yourself? Is there an overuse of "x says"? Can you tell fic was fighting not to be overrun with em-dashes? It's probably a Tauria fic :P

[ get to know your fic writer! ]

#waffleinator-inator #asks and answers #thank u again maya!#my posts

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starsunfirelight · 1 year ago

Text

Ok so

I was too scared to post this before, but I think I'm going to do it now:

inspiration to finally post this:

youtube

a channel I watch all the time at the end of the year/when I remember/when it gets recommended to me lol

finally validated my opinions, when I thought I was alone

then someone in the comments mentioned a different channel so I thought i'd check it out:

youtube

and things started making a lot of sense. it's like this one person had the common sense that I could feel was missing from seemingly everyone I interacted with (watch videos) on the internet.

So I watch this:

youtube

after another video, and it's one I'd been meaning to watch a lot sooner, but it's been in my watch later for a long time and I guess it just got buried and I forgot about it lol

I never really check the watch later playlist unless I'm really bored and it's something I remember

(I am 100% a Spooky girl by the way (though for a different- I guess not directly but I have the vibes and those are things that I would do if it wasn't for the fact that I can't for some reason (yes I see the hypocrisy here but trust me on this)) and have been aware of it this whole time and it's also the exact type of person that I really hate and I think the word for it for the general public is "poser") (which is way more accurate to what I am imo)

(but like I get where they're all coming from and hope that they can all move on and get a more happier life where they can commit :> not sure what (face expression in the form of an emoticon/emoji) to put here but oh well )

but anyways, here we go!

(copy and pasted from my notes app) (wrote in the style of a YouTube video (at least at first) bc I am not original or creative but I just wanted to have fun lol) (more like have fun complaining and it was really bothering me and I just had to get it out there somehow) (I legit listened to this song for like 3 days straight until I had memorized all of the lyrics before the song would finally leave my head. :[ ) (again with the face thing, wanted to indicate mildly sad but frustrated not disappointed)

thoughts from today:

(the sentiment is totally taken straight from the comment section of the above videos and her performance with the cake being all messed up on SNL recently)

oliv (sic) is good and bad at the same time, but she’s getting better :)

I got target audience hit so hard like wow

olivia needs to learn to “kill” what she doesn’t like and go all in on being herself, :) it’s already happenin :)

still totally hate her producer by the way, if not specifically for these songs

like Blake put 90's(? idk I forget exactly it's been a while since I went obsessively looking for every single reaction video to her new song to see if anyone out there had the same opinion as me, but more as a way to see what opinon I "should" be having which sounds insane, I know, but I can't/ok couldn't help it and now I realize this is just high school glorified 😔 (ok real last edit so far (haha take that edits later) this was something I only begun to notice starting from Casually Explained's video (found via a hasanabi clip on my recommended who I clicked on bc of QT(he's a podcast host with her and his takes are so bad they're funny but I only know found out (have a better idea of now that I grew up more) they're bad because of other streamers but anyways-) https://youtu.be/MspHbnfEGno?si=KiiMRDYPIc9TK-TF) (here's a link to the original full video: https://youtu.be/l4Ioj4BA6N0?si=gUQ3ZeoyZ3DcGXLy) and then this one https://youtu.be/pII6mLdNawk?si=EWSF_g8Pl0fLOXHG and finally make the connection here myself lol)) but anyways put those drums on the track as a backing and it sounded SO MUCH BETTER than the original

so like yeah she definitely has the spirit, she just needs to talk to the right people, trust and learn from them, and have more people say "no" to her.

like seriously, and then she'll be really good!

like I mean it, her tracks are SO CLOSE to being really good, and I can see the idea behind them, that it makes me a little mad

all it needs is just a little creativity, or at least someone who really knows what they are doing and how to best implement it

like people think the production on the 1989 vault tracks left something to be desired and started making their own mixes, and I think that's what people should do with some of olivia rodrigo's music too! ok but like pretty isn't pretty was pretty much perfect so don't mess with that one lol

and also why I think the live performances sometimes sound so much better than the recorded version lol

y'know what? that could be a solution right there!

If you're bad at mixing, just do it live! Then it's all better anyways lol

haha ok time to let you guys see what I wrote when this song came out lol

like I really didn't want to be "that person" who complained about the thing that every teenager loves right now, but now I see that my complaints were valid because it's just a matter of opinion, and it's not the reason I was so mad lol (ok maybe like 0.01% but like I've been through this before and didn't hate the thing that was popular, maybe I was jealous? idk but still my complaints were mostly not for that reason, let's say lol (was looking for 😥 but couldn't find it lol - me from later, still editing this by only adding comments as I think the original should be preserved as much as possible bc it's interesting to look back at ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 😓😢😭💀👍🙂🐛✨ (man your recently used emojis really tell you a lot about your personality huh))

ok but anyways

here we go lol

the time is from when it was last edited on the notes app

August 3, 2023 at 18:10

hey guys! So, today we’re going to be talking about 4 time Grammy winning musician Olivia Rodrigo’s latest hit single, vampire. This song reached number #1 on the Billboard hot 100 last week, and that’s almost to be expected of an artist like her. It also took YouTube by storm, (since it was sponsored, in part, haha, though I doubt it wouldn’t have blown up anyways) and I’m pretty sure it’s really popular on TikTok as well. (though I wouldn’t know, because I spend all of my time on YouTube shorts instead, lol) Ok now, personally, I liked her last album Sour, so I was excited to see what new song she came up with next! So, curious to see what it was, I checked it out on the trending page and… suffice to say, I was a little disappointed. I mean, it had such good parts, and musically, it was nice and I could tell what she was trying to do, but I mean, lyrically, I just felt like it could be better. Like, I’ve heard Taylor Swift songs in the past, and even if you don’t like her style, you’ve gotta admit she’s really good at writing lyrics. Not only does she convey her thought with such vivid imagery and a poetic stricture, but the words sound really nice to listen to as well. I’m not an English major, so I can’t go into too much depth there, but I’m sure there’s a lot of videos out there that can explain what I mean here. And as a personal anecdote, my 7th grade class was given her lyrics to Red to analyze for an assignment lol. So I mean, there’s one frame of reference for you guys, haha. But getting back to Vampire, her lyrics on there just don’t feel the same. I know they aren’t supposed to, but in its place they should adopt her own style. But to me, it just feels a bit… idk childish? I know I’m not that much older than her, but still. (Turns out she was 19 when she wrote this, which makes so much sense now, and that’s basically still a kid lol.) Taylor and Demi Lovato have both written great lyrics when they were both around her age. But, Taylor is kind of a lyrical poet, and Demi probably had a lot of help, since I looked on the Genius page and it said the song I want to compare later was cowritten by Nikki Williams, who was 25 at the time. So it’s a bit unfair to compare, but we’ll see.

Musically, I maybe I just don’t get pop opera, but I think the transition from piano to full on pop song is cool, but feels a bit misplaced. Like, it sounds like a good idea in concept, but I don’t know if it translated well. (as maybe she or the producer might have hoped.) But aside from that, maybe it’s just me but I think she liked the bridge-like(? idk just guessing here based off of my own feeling) chorus a bit too much, that she ended up relying on it to make the song great. Don’t get me wrong— musically, it’s a great part, and she should definitely be proud of herself for coming up with it as she did, but do you really have to repeat it 3 times?? I can definitely say that that it’s the key defining highlight of the song, but when you repeat it so much, it sounds tiring and overused. Imo People don’t care if you repeat the chorus a lot, because the chorus is almost meant to be repeated, but I really think that it sounds a bit too same when it’s repeated in this context. The beginning too, now that I mention it. But hey, this part could just be my own personal preference, and that’s valid too, I guess, since it’s just my opinion lol.

And also, I heard someone say that the instrumental at the end left them wanting more, and I agree that it felt like it ended abruptly, and either it should have ended sooner, or maybe padded out a bit more? idk, but the ending just felt abrupt.

But I do have to say, I really liked the bridge part, and the rest of the song after. I just wish the whole song was good! I mean, imo they should have gone harder on the dramatic angle of it all, like maybe have her in black and white with red lipstick at the piano or something. Extend the craziness of her mind, even if she wasn’t? I don’t know haha, I don’t relate to the song, so this again this is probably just a personal preference. (lol Otto)

Especially the “girls your age know better” part was fire!!!! :)

Also, it sounds kind of like her previous songs, but that’s not really anything to worry about imo, because all artists are a bit privy to that, she said that’s what she was going for, in which case she nailed the “same but kinda different” kind of thing, and it’s not a bad thing imo.

But, I guess, now it’s time to look at the ;lyrics. (warning, I think some of it is childish and a bit cringe. if not, just hoping it could be better :(. )

Now, I know that writing good lyrics really doesn’t have to do with age, but more about your own maturity, and your maturity as a writer. I know it’s a bit unfair to compare as I made those comparisons before, but if you look into the lyrics a bit, hopefully you’ll start to see what I mean.

without further ado, here we go…

I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴛɪsғᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ Asᴋɪɴɢ, “Hᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ɴᴏᴡ?” “Hᴏᴡ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴛʟᴇ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ᴏғғ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ?” Jᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢᴜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛ

Ok, so this isn’t too bad, (now after listening about 100 times I like the first 4 lines! :D) but “Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢᴜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛ” sounds a bit playful, if not childish. If she’s taking on a childish tone on purpose because she’s still very “naive” as she mentions later, then I have to commend her for her genius. But also, it might show up unintentionally, as she mentioned that this song just came out of her head one day after a bad experience, so as a child, this might be just how she thinks, and on the spot, this is what she thought of. It makes me kind of miffed, and it’s a bit hard to listen to, but you can’t really blame her at the end of the day. Plus it sounds kind of cool! :D lkokolololol <- me on no sleep

I sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪᴀᴍᴏɴᴅs sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇs Sɪx ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs ᴏғ ᴛᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴀs sᴏᴍᴇ ғᴏʀʙɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪsᴇ I ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ Yᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅɪᴛʏ

Yo, can we take some time to take in the scenery? No? Ok, I guess that’s ok, and I’lll be in my own corner doing that I guess, lol :D (also comes up later, but that point it’s slow and I think it’s— you’ll find out later :))

Again, it’s fine, maybe trying a bit too hard, but the one thing that makes me mad is “stupidity”. It sounds so childish compared to the rest of the lyrics there, and I can’t think of a better lyric off of the top of my head, but I just know I wouldn’t use that word there— it gives me the ick, if you know what I mean.

it has real “they ask you how you are, and you just have to say you're fine when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it, because they would never understand.” vibes lol.

here’s the chorus!! (though it feels like a bridge imo until the last two lines, but maybe that’s just the genre haha)

<3 love it sm omg !!! heart heart heart!!! :)

‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ

mentions the theme at the end, yay! lol like it wasn’t present before haha

and here comes my theory that the management wanted this part to take off on TikTok all along, because it’s really good (musically imo) but didn’t really put as much attention on the rest? Like girl, I thought we were on the same page about hating songs only made for TikTok! really short, and only having one good part, like you can tell!

Like “If We Ever Broke Up” by Mae Stephens is the perfect _counter_ to this argument, because it got popular on TikTok and every part of that song is catchy and good, and I think the whole song is perfect. But then again, it’s also kind of short, but also I don’t think it needs to be longer, because then it’s overdone.

But maybe the way Vampire was written was just because it was difficult to come up with! Idk, but I think it could really be due to anything, and I can’t say for sure, I know that. But anyways, I think lyrically, it’s a bit weak. and the ending made me want to listen to it more, which is a TikTok move, but also just because the song has some really good parts in it, which is just because the song is nice and not a TikTok move I don’t think haha :)

Honestly, “‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs” has kind of the same energy as “For one day, one day / I was really, really, really, really sad” by One Whole Day by Dixie D’Amelio. And she didn’t even write that song!

and so every time I hear that lyric, I get kind of cringe, it’s a bit sad. :( lol

but now I don’t mind after listening to it for like the 100th time lol

Moving on…

“Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ” this line is fine, and it would probably be fine among a sea of other lines that are better, but even still, it would be the weakest out of those lines, but satisfying nonetheless.

This song may be musically satisfying, but lyrically, it’s not. (edit, again, after listening to it about 100 times, I now don’t care about most of it but “dream crusher” still sounds cringe, but the go version probably isn’t.) I may not understand the pain, and I understand that in the middle of writing this song, she was probably thinking about her own emotional pain and not really caring about the lyrics, so I get why it’s like this, and I don’t mind one bit, because that’s her song. And, I mean, She probably wouldn’t have released it of she didn’t like it. haha, unless she was rushed? idk. probably not though!

But still, if you take that aspect away, it’s a bit hard to visualize, appearing weak at times, with a tell not show kind of approach, and at other times it feels like she’s trying too hard, giving the whole song an amateur kind of feel. But Sour wasn’t like this, and I just can’t get why. Like good 4 u had a lot of repetition too, but that was fine, because it felt like that part that was repeated was _meant_ to be repeated, and it was satisfying when it did. You knew what to expect, and it was a little predicable but that was fine. It was nice, even. But this song feels predictable in a kinda bad way, and I don’t really understand why. :(

Ok, back to looking at the lyrics, lol.

“I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ”

These lines are fire, and I like them. :) Not trying too hard, but not too weak either. It’s great :)

“I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ”

These lines make it sound like she still is very much naive, even if she didn’t mean it to sound that way. It’s also very her, especially in the way that she phrased it while singing, so I have to give her credit for that. Maybe this one is just a personal preference, for me lol Like maybe it rings true for her because it was and it’s just something that I’ve never thought about lol :)

Listening back, it sounds more like a facepalm than anything.

More lyrics…

“Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ”

Ok, this part just sounds like she is trying too hard, which just makes me sad :(

Like I get imagery, for imagery’s sake, and like she really wanted to make this work, but still, I believe you’ll find the right balance someday as you mature as an artist and a person! :D I believe in you!!! <3

“Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ”

“Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ”

I like this part, especially the rhythmic feel to it as the song speeds up later. I think the clean version is a bit silly though, and having the not clean version in the second line really delivers the impact. Though that same impact isn’t really felt for me in the first line, and “ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ” had more impact than when she used the bad word I think trying to have an impact (but that could also be just because I don’t know the context of that word, or it just sounds weird coming from a child like her, not really understanding the power that that word holds, but still wants people to take her seriously and think of her as a person who uses that word like “I’m not the kid that you think I am”). Haha, at this point I think she has more impact when she writes from the heart and isn’t trying lol. But that could be totally untrue, but it would be funny lol.

“Aɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ɢɪʀʟ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴀʟᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ Tᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙᴀᴅ, ʙᴀᴅ ɴᴇᴡs Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ Gᴏᴅ, I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ I ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ ᴛᴏᴏ Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ sᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄɪɴɢ”

This sounds like classic high school drama from one perspective, but like her friends really care about her, from another.

Musically, I wish it was more different than the opening, but I guess changing the beat kind of does that haha. It’s not bad, I guess. :0

“Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ғʟɪɴᴄʜɪɴɢ?”

What does this mean? Is this just there for the rhyme?

Like, if you’re only going for rhyme, I found this in the BuzzFeed article I was reading earlier of of curiosity “"Maybe then we could pretend / There's no gravity in the words we write / Maybe you didn't mean it / Maybe "blonde" was the only rhyme."” -Skin by Sabrina Carpenter

which I thought was way better lyrics than most of Olivia Rodrigo’s entire song Vampire. Just looking at the lyrics, and has nothing to do with their personal relationship, as I don’t really know about that.

But then again, maybe I was just too harsh, and this is just a reference to something that I don’t understand. Like I wouldn’t personally think about “flinching” when it comes to lying unless it was under a very specific context, but maybe that’s what Olivia Rodrigo is hinting at here, without explaining the whole story.

“(Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ?)”

Initially I thought Again, trying a bit too hard here, or maybe it didn’t really come across, but I like the idea that they were going for.

But after reanalyzing the line before this, it makes more sense in that context, and also explains why she would be really hurt here. Especially because she repeats the line a lot, maybe meaning that he lied multiple times and really hurt her to make her want to repeat that line that much.

“Oʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴇsᴍᴇʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏᴢɪɴɢ, ᴛʀᴀɢɪᴄ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟ Cᴀɴ’ᴛ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ Aɴᴅ Gᴏᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡs I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Wᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴇʀ ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ɢɪʀʟs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɢᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ”

This part is nice, “Oʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴇsᴍᴇʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏᴢɪɴɢ, ᴛʀᴀɢɪᴄ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟ” is kind of a lot to say at once, but I can respect it, it’s kind of like a emotion cake lol. “‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ɢɪʀʟs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɢᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ” :) those two last lines remind of her last album, and she does it so well here. :)

The bridge and chorus again sound epic with the increased tension from the instrumental :)

“Yᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ, “Iᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ”, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅ? Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ I ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴜᴛ, ɴᴏᴡ I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢ I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ”

Now this really feels like her old album, and I really like this part :)

It’s really good, maintains her style lol, and no notes from me here :)

this part emotion makes up for aaall of the lyrics haha :)

or maybe that’s the lyrics? rhythm? idk, I just like this part, haha :)

“Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ” especially goes hard, and she’s finally writing in a way that’s not only really good poetry but sounds good to hear! I’m so glad! But she doesn’t have to do this if she doesn’t have to, I just think it’s cool that she did it here, haha

At first I was like did you really have to repeat the iconic part a third time? or is it the chorus at this point? Or was it all along? (yes) :thinking: emoji, but after a while, it’s not that bad. It rocks! And only listening to the last part of the song is epic!!!!!! :D the leadup, however it was executed, was worth it, haha :)

Overall, this song is not bad, great at times, even, but I just wish it was better because I get frustrated at its potential, especially because it reminds me of other songs that are really great at times like Heart Attack by Demi Lovato, and I really love that song, and it makes me frustrated that this song isn’t that one :(. After the “‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢ I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ” I’d often go into the chorus from Heart Attack lol :).

But seriously, Like, I get your range is limited, and it’s all about holding in that tension and not letting it go until the line drops (you know the one), but would it kill mainstream music to not hover around the same three notes every time? I’ve noticed it was a problem since Halsey’s “Without Me”, where I really felt that, (editor me from now stepping in to say that I didn't think of this, I just held it in my brain from another youtube video that I had watched years ago but then thought I should "agree" with it without really knowing about what I really thought (based on actually listening to the music) myself lol but then again I did notice it a bit more after I had it pointed out to me, mostly in Halsey - Without Me and Katy Perry - Never Really Over but that last one kinda I had the thought myself a bit at first but then I watched another youtube video and they really pointed to it there as the "death of pop music" but maybe not necessarily with the repeating/range I think idk it was a long time ago and I also liked Paramore - Hard Times a lot at this time but anyways) but maybe it’s just a stylistic choice that I got frustrated by lol, and in general all music isn’t like that. idk about this to say any more.

alright, I think that’s all of my thoughts about this song. ok bye! have a good night/day! :)

Oh wait one more thing. I want to address stan culture, the thing that I wanted to make this video about the most. You see, if you’ve noticed, on the comment section of this song, in most places that I looked, it was hard to find a single comment that was even sightly negative. Now, this could just mean that it’s a good song, but given the complaints I just had that I talked about earlier, it was hard for me to believe that was the case. In fact, that was what kind of started this whole thing, lol. But then, as I looked a bit further on the reviews for the iTunes store, I saw that there were a few people that had the same complaints as I did. There were very few “nope”/“bad song”’s. You don’t like the song? Maybe you’re just not a fan of the genre as a whole, and that’s ok. It’s always (I think) ok to have an opinion. It’s too “copy and paste”? Not original, but still good? Yeah ok, but still, they didn’t comment on whether it was bad or good, and the others admitted it was still good. idk if it’s good to copy and paste or not, but it might e subconscious, and imo who cares (besides the record labels) (as long as you give credit) because it can end up with some really fun music out of it! :) The other comments said it was rushed and it sounded like an amateur. This is something that I kind of talked about in the section before, and if it’s true then I really hope she gets better! :) And a few people were like “meh”, essentially, and still though admitted it was good in some way. So, I guess most of the internet agrees it’s good, just some of us hoping for better.

Now, the really interesting part happened when I looked at another video by a different artist, for just another reason, not really related to this, just kind of happened to see it by chance. It was Taylor Swift’s Anti Hero lyric video, and in the comments, most of them were positive too. But, they were positive in a different way. Both positive, don’t worry :)

Taylor: I love the lyricism, even if you don’t like her you gotta admit it’s good, I relate heavily to this, and just generally pointing out a certain lyric that they like, with some fans just being a fan of the artist. But most people I think were there just () for the song.

Olivia: Kind of the same vibes, but more people liking “omg olivia you’re awesome I can’t believe you did this so proud of you!” which is great but also can lean towards stan behavior (:/), and also “I just love how she sings with emotion”. :) and occasionally “that one line hits really hard.” (hey, I said that too! glad we agree :)) (editor me here to say that I took those comments to heart and formed my own opinion after hearing theirs) But there were also people who were like “I really resonate with this song” “thank you for helping me get through a tough time” and feeling cathartic, which is really nice to see :’)

So, future fans, I advise you to be civil, and maybe not just blindly support your favorite artist because you like them as a person or like their past work. This is just a reminder, just because you like an artist, or even just one song by an artist, doesn’t mean you have to like every sing one of their songs, or go to great lengths to defend them of any wrong lol. You should personally not be responsible for the financial success of your favorite artist. Just tell your friends, but if they’re not into it, leave it alone, chill. If you like it, then you buy the song. If you like it, you listen to the song. that’s really it.

just be happy :)

just be you :)

it’s ok to have an opinion! even if it’s different from people that you love! (unless it’s a super serious important one that’s just mean or something, then hopefully you can try to respect others even if you don’t agree, and try to see other’s pov I hope again unless it’s really bad)

otherwise the world would be boring lol (I mean about having different opinions from one another)

also absolutely no hate to the teens and people that needed this song the most <3 hope you’re ok 😭👍

ohh maybe

(I feel a disconnect with this song) bc teens relate to this song and I’m not a teen anymore. ok, yeah, that explains a lot haha. :0 :)

I’ve always wanted to let the world “let teens be teens”, and give them a lot of love as they grow up, and it looks like it’s finally happening :)))

this song is addictive fs, at least it definitely is/was for me

also it’s funny how she was a fake celeb and now she’s a real internet celeb, and that’s funny lol

I don’t have to like this song, nor do I have to force other people to like it too.

teens like it. let em be.

(ok editor me here, this is the part where I was jotting down random thoughts as I had them, kind of like a notebook lol)

y’know I like this song but I feel like it’s missing something…

I just feel like if she used jazz chords instead of the normal boring generic ones she’s already used before, it could be a much cooler song! Like driver’s license was meant to be generic, and the chords work well there, but this feels like it could use something more!!!!

Oh, ok, I see the Queen inspo now. (editor me, this was in response much later to reading a comment that said so lol, bc I didn't hear it at first lol)

Also explains why everyone likes it, haha xD

it’s like her own style combined with their’s

Like songs

Heart Attack

Some piano ballad - Queen, Taylor Swift

Senorita

Paramore

Avril Lavigne

Gothic/Victorian

Emo - the last two lines of the chorus

Birthday - Katy Perry

ABBA, duh!

Miley Cyrus

BTR (I think, probably just the vibes of the genre)\

Lewis Capaldi

used to ba a sad boy with (idk just lyrics) are jepson era

Without Me - Halsey ^

Pink

Linkin Park

it needs more 💖aesthetic 💓💝💘!!!! ❣️💝❤️‍🩹(couldn’t find the sparkles lol)

Piano Ballad/Queen

(editor me, this is where I pasted the original lyrics and jotted down some of my thoughts there lol, so it's kind of like a "behind the scenes" of the YouTube video lol)

(editor me, but also more of in the notebooks vein where it's what I "cut out" from the video lol to stay on topic/not make it too long winded but here I am writing about it here lol (gosh I really hated part of this song, and I still kinda do, and I'm not going to deny it/hide it anymore because that is what I feel is the right thing to do) (but like not going to bring it up when nobody asked lol, except I guess this could be different lol since _I_ asked and I can post whatever I want as long as I think it's ok and hopefully not being unfair/mean 😥))

(editor me here, also this was me desperately trying to find what this reminded me of, and I was struggling really hard here lol (still am kinda miffed about that, but I chose to accept it and move on after I calmed down caring about this song lol, who knows maybe I'll start looking again by listening to more songs about (I mean in!) that era, haha (*insert indescribable emotion here*) (by me rn at least, :/)))

(editor me from a little later, also went back and saw that I was trying to improve it, so I guess that these were my initial frustrations with the song, or might have been from either before or after or both from when I wrote the whole YouTube video

ok I definitely remember coming back and adding to the list OFTEN as I thought of more, plus I looked up the lyrics in the process of writing the YouTube video, so I guess it was after, after all :) (me being happy I figured it out, NOt being happy about the song >:( ok I'm not that mean (or am I? 🤨 sounds fun actually lol) but didn't want it to be the sad emoticon :( <- ok now I'm a bit sad about the situation, again not the song lol (I don't think? maybe? I mean I suppose since I did say I was a bit sad earlier and I think I still feel that way about the song plus it's a "sad" song so...) (ok stop writing now the sleepiness is really kicking in right about now) )

)

(editor me again, I know you said stop but this is the last one I think, yeah I definitely found the lyrics again and pasted them here _after_ I was done writing my whole video up there, just so I could analyze them in the way that I mentioned before lol)

(still editor me here yeah and I would re paste certain parts and they reminded me of things, as I saw fit) (mmhm yes I am aware I sound like a derange obsessed lunatic and that's because I kind of was) (editor me still, don't worry now I have a love hate kinda thinking towards her lol, and have grown up a bit and try really hard not to be like the fans here, y'know fandom rememberings and what not sheesh the name-shall-npt-be-mentioned fandom is like REally bad and is like this one but like is just BAD on a lot of levels, I think it's worse (than this) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a4yt5h5rRg like the problem is their behavior, not the content or I'd argue even the fans themselves, necessarily, the problem is when it goes too far 🙁 bit a bit more ^, like 😕 one side for both (the aforementioned side could be either, depends on the mood but both are ok ), slight frown :/)

(editior me, ok this is last now, please, yeah it's just me basically trying my best to improve the song, I think, or at least that's how the latest draft of all this reads to me anyways lol)

(still editor me, like at the time I didn't know if I wanted it this way because it was what I stereotypically "expected to hear", or just because it sounded cool (anyways it was still what _I_ expected to hear/would do, given the opportunity, I was really thinking of what would make me happy here, looking for outside influences on top of that + seeing if they match what I hear/the vibe I'm going for in my head like yes! no, maybe and all that))

Same, bit of Taylor Swift, especially in the chords

but also her own style I guess

Definitely her own style, or I just can’t tell what it’s copying (opera!!! :))

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ

Paramore Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Avril Lavigne

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ

Her style, more tension rising buildup in the instrumental, pop ->

This is something but can’t figure out what it is

“(Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ?)”

More emo? idk leading up towards a genre change (makes sense from a theatre perspective) (editor me, I had just heard a comment/maybe it was a (reaction?) video or both say that this was inspired by theatre and was like ohhh, that makes a lot of sense actually)

“Oʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴇsᴍᴇʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏᴢɪɴɢ, ᴛʀᴀɢɪᴄ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟ Cᴀɴ’ᴛ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ Aɴᴅ Gᴏᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡs I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Wᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴇʀ ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ɢɪʀʟs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɢᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ” -add a sick drum line after this

Victorian/Gothic (imagine the background music and she’s running away) (or else if it’s positive it could pass as emo)

either way this part sounds cool, because of the way she sings it and builds the rising tension

‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ -> hit the minor key or the 2nd or the 5th or the 7th or sustained or whatever that chord is, like I said, makes the song cool! I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪ��ᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ

Paramore Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Avril Lavigne

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ -> country? for some reason? :)?

This is classic her style, I would say Taylor Swift but this is her style that’s inspired

“Yᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ, “Iᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ”, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅ? Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ <- expect a run here for some reason, but then it’s cool but not her style? I ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴜᴛ, ɴᴏᴡ I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ <- a darker sound? ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢ I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ”

Now this is more pop/emo/her style, which is cool because it’s like the final act of the play, ABBA! :)

‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs -> piano glissando, elton john, very dramatic Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ -> twist a crystal ball that’s dark blue as the protagonist runs away in fear I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs -> sees shadow As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ -> shadow

Paramore Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Avril Lavigne

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ

end on cymbals + and a guitar

hmm “play”…. it sounds theatrical, I guess :)

Someone analyze this further please TT hands /\

https://youtu.be/PdTg-JT8FPM is pretty good :) but not complete, more could be said!!!

>hates song

>proceeds to listen to sing for 3 consecutive days

(now 4)

I appreciate the lyricism, it works wonderfully on the stage :) (red curtains emoji)

haha kool-aid is funny

“Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢᴜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛ”

“I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ”

most of the song is just her being helpless(not really), sad, and most of all confused, but this really proves her innocence, and that she’s a good person, (editor me, clear projection here, if it just wasn't _me_ being naïve, if that wasn't already obvious lol) because maybe they would say the second lines, but they would never say the first line even as a joke if they were not a good person

mean TT

where’s the 2000’s drums at???

what on earth is rocky horror picture show

ok so the final genre is rock

it makes sense now, and is not in fact repetitive

paid(editor me, this was an autocorrect of p!atd though I don't think I saw the autocorrect until now ) vibes apparently -reaction video from a video with two people (editor me, I think it was one where they were old white dudes with a purple background who listened to mainly metal, but I could be wrong on this)

playlist is 2000’s indie (editor me, I was researching olivia's inspiration and she said her playlist was this lol or at least the comments did, lol)

its in minor

all of this could have been summed down to “I don’t like the new drummer”.

the parts that aren’t her sound like Selena Gomez :) Like, they could collaborate and it would be neat :)

I guess I don’t like the vocal technique because even if it wasn’t billie’s style I thought it sounded more mellow? idk

Lorde??? I guess, but don’t really see it much beyond the opening/structure of things (editor me, yeah, this was definitely a reaction to a comment and I see it now haha)

Songs that belong on a playlist

Vampire

Better Than Revenge

good 4 u

paid or something paramore???? idk just what was on the radio

oh, that one similar song, ok

enchanted to meet you

rolling in the deep? idk

mine tv

icona pop “i don’t care”

taylor swift look what you made me do (on spot/hits the spot/pinpoint accuracy)

tove lo

katy perry - teenage dream

needs more guitar

"the song was a tissue of threadbare clichés" -google for threadbare (editor me I think I miiiight have read this on a comment on apple iTunes reviews, because I definitely did not know that word before)

nice lol haha totally not this one amirite :) (ominous smile) (you should be concerned) (about me, not you) (thankfully) haha

ok I made a playlist on spotify ✨nuf said ✨💐🪷

this is tearing my soul away :D (never thought this was possible, so this is cool lol)

—the centrol theme is people sobbing in their songs—

also teenagers being teenagers, or at least music targeted towards them

why hate?

-emo

-billie eilith

-teenagers

-almost sampled but not quite

-the way words are pronounced

-straight up the production

-“cool” = cringe? (to adults? lol haha)

-maybe that last point is really it :)

-“look at me I’m important”

-fire this drummer

-also consider help for the producer

-overused, cliche, generic, boring <— this is it for sure, I think

-not enough out of the ordinary/expected

-make it stop pls

-imo the last part is better bc she has more confidence :)

-Olivia Rodrigo Vampire - Creativity Don't Pay Reaction I agree it’s trying too hard and going nowhere

-also on the fact that it appears that she’s trying to be edgy - “The swearing to me seems forced and unnecessary and trying to be edgy.” also see “I'm ancient so not the demographic it's aimed at.” “ I maintain that it's not particularly inspired songwriting or production in my opinion.”? “ it's an unfair comparison,” also true

no hate

-but she’s got a good spirit :)

#olivia rodrigo #vampire #Youtube

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kazumiwrites-fanfiction · 2 years ago

Text

Concert For You

SUMMARY: You overheard your boss/crush talking about how he loved you, so a concert made especially for him is the best way to tell him you feel the same way, right? WORD COUNT: 1.2k

WARNINGS: pure fluff, mutual pining, awkwardness, you singing in front of an audience.

A/N: Ahaha this is partly me writing this because I have a solo in May where I sing ‘Walking on Sunshine’ and I was thinking about how I should dance in the shower so uh- yeah- and then I was like “Why the heck not” so I added another 80′s song- lmao- anyways here’s song one and song two. A/N PART 2: Originally posted here.

"I used to think maybe you love me, now baby I'm sure~" Your smile grew, swaying a bit as you sang into the mic, pointing at the audience. "And I just can't wait till the day when you knock on my door~"

The audience was entranced by your voice, or your looks, or maybe they were just too drunk to know what was going on. Whatever it was, they all loved you.

You had done this on a whim, really; you had heard your crush, Chisaki, talking in a muttered voice about how he had a crush on you to... Who was it? One of his most trusted people. So, as a hint—if it could even count as one—you invited him to an impromptu concert.

The male in question was watching you, arms crossed over his chest. A faint flush was steadily growing on his cheeks, but he ignored it. He just watched you; you were in such a pretty outfit. He loved it, but he knew he shouldn't say anything about it, lest he get teased.

He was enjoying the 'concert', although he really didn't want to watch you with all the others... He wanted you to sing to him personally. Not that he'd ever admit it to you.

After you finished the song, you bowed, smiling brightly at the cheers and calls for an encore. You shook your head slightly, laughing a little as you walked off, trying to find the young leader of the Shie Hassaikai. He had to be here somewhere... You had invited him personally, and anyways, he'd have heard about this, since you had talked about it to quite a few members.

Well... Not like you were begging for his attention. He was your employer, and it was completely inappropriate to think of him this way... But whatever.

Still, where was he... You blinked as you ran in to someone, an apology falling from your lips as you glanced up into beautiful golden eyes. His eyes.

"Oh- Chisaki-san." You smiled a little at him, looking a bit uncertain for the first time this night. "Did you like the concert?"

The male nodded slightly. "Yeah... I did. I enjoyed it a lot." He smiled faintly, not that it would show through the mask. "I really liked listening to your voice. Not to mention you sang in English... That's impressive. Could you sing a bit more for me?"

Your eyes widened slightly before you nodded, smiling a little more. "Yes, of course! What would you like me to sing?" Your head tilted slightly to the side as you watched him.

He paused for a moment, thinking. "Well... Anything's fine."

You hummed softly, thinking for a moment before deciding on a song. Before you could speak, Chisaki grabbed your arm, tugging you out of the room. "...I want it to be more private, so I can hear you better," he mumbled, a weak excuse, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to be with you.

You blinked, eyes wide. You were seriously rethinking the song you had picked... But hey, too late now. And you knew the lyrics by heart.

You walked in to a room, blinking as you saw a bed. Was this... His room...? You felt your cheeks burn at the thought, but shook it off. You took out your phone, looking for a karaoke version of the song. "For the... background music," you told him when you felt his questioning look on you.

He sighed a little, sitting down on the bed and pretty much just staring at you as you found the song, playing on it and placing your phone down as you heard the first few notes play before you opened your mouth to sing.

"I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing..." You took in another breath, not really meeting his gaze. "Watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you're far away and dreaming..." You closed your eyes, knowing that your cheeks were growing redder as you sang.

Soon, you reached the chorus: "Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep!" Your eyes fluttered open, gaze meeting his unreadable expression. You smiled a little more, the perfect performer. "'Cause I'd miss you, babe, and I don't want to miss a thing..."

You finally finished the song, awkwardly shifting in place as you watched him, unsure on what to do now. It wasn't often that you got to sing in front of one singular person, especially not your boss/crush.

Chisaki, on the other hand, was frozen, eyes wide. Your voice... He was enamored with it. It was so nice... "Why'd you choose that song? I'm curious." Way more than just 'curious', honestly. Those were love songs, right? He had heard some of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai listening to them sometimes. Half of them wanted to fall in love with someone, or have their feelings reciprocated, or all that. A few months ago, he would've scoffed. But now... He knew how they felt. He wanted you to like him back.

You paused a little. "Well, it's because I like you, Chisaki-san..." You murmured with a small smile.

Like him? In what way? His breathing sped up ever so slightly as he watched you. "Like me? Really...?" He hated this feeling. He knew he would most likely get crushed if he got rejected... But still. He walked a bit closer. Usually, he'd be disgusted by being this close to someone... But honestly, if you were the person making him sick, it was better. He'd rather it be you than anyone else.

You stared at him, blinking slightly in surprise at how close he was. You felt your cheeks grow a bit warmer as you watched him. What was going on...

"Do you have a crush on me, perhaps...?" He murmured softly, gazing in to your soft eyes. You really were so pretty...

"Well... Would you be mad if I say... Yes...?" You murmured, almost a whisper.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise before he shook his head. "No... I'm happy, really." He smiled ever so slightly, relaxing. "I'm glad you like me..." A gloved hand moved to cup your cheek gently, smile growing as he watched you lean in to his touch.

"Mhm, same here..." You smiled even more, content. "But, isn't it a bit inappropriate to have you as my boss and my partner?"

Chisaki rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter. I'm the boss of this place anyways. Where would you even go if you weren't working, anyway?"

"Touché. I'd probably just stay with you full time, then."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly mind that..."

"I guess you wouldn't." You let out a laugh, shaking your head slightly.

He smiled a little more, relaxing as he pulled you to his neatly made bed, sitting down and resting his head on your shoulder. He was... Quite cuddly, which surprised you a bit. But, it was cute.

You gently ran a hand through his hair, humming a small tune as he snuggled in to you. A small smile grew on your lips, relaxing. He really was adorable.

Chisaki was satisfied. He had you, all to himself, and you were just staying with him, not going away. He let out a soft murmur at your touch, nuzzling in to you more. He really hoped you would stay with him forever... He didn't want you to go away, not ever.

#chisaki kai x gender neutral reader #chisaki kai x reader #chisaki x reader #chisaki x gender neutral reader #chisaki kai #kai x gender neutral reader #kai x reader #overhaul x gender neutral reader #overhaul x reader #overhaul #kazumiwrites #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #fluff #mutual pining

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sug01s3al · 10 hours ago

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How would a Spiritfarer puppet show work exactly? Would you use special effects for stuff like meteor dodging, jellyfish popping, etc., or would they be cut from the show altogether? Would it be a musical since a good chunk of the cast can play instruments? Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, it's just that the idea itself is rather fascinating.

Yeah, I spent a lot of time figuring out how I would best translate such a special game to stage- with it being a farmsim- adjacent kind of game, game play is endless or at the very least it takes (according to google lol) about 25 1/2 hours to complete the game so keeping everything I would want to would be unfeasible.

In my research in making my adaptation I looked at a lot of other games turned theatre pieces and learned of the 2.5D musical theatre. It a genre originated in Japan and I believe originated with adapting otome games to stage but there has been plenty other ones. One in particular was is the DanganRonpa stage play (yes I sat through all three of them for research :'') ) since Danganronpa is also a very, very long game and I wanted to see how they would adapt every single murder and trial or what would be cut out. It turned out for theirs ended up cutting out a lot of the filler and basically going from kill to kill to kill and losing quite a lot of what made it charming. As much as I enjoyed them you didn't really ever get long enough with each character to really care when they died and it wasn't like they were short either I think they're all 1.30h - 2h shows. If I was watching it for the first time and not someone who had played the games/watched the anime with the additional context I think it would have been narratively unsatisfying.

And with SpiritFarer being such a special game to me the last thing I would want to do is to compromise the stories and blow through each character incredibly fast because it would lose its meaning and gravity. So when it came to figuring out how I would plan the stage play I had to consider a lot of what I could bear to cut and the story that could be told in the time I had to tell it. It never got as far as an official script but my solution to keeping what I wanted ended up being cutting characters out sadly so that at least a bit of each story could go in as well as having an element of their mini games. The minigames happen so often in the games it would be impossible to add so many in a stage play so I had planned for it to happen just once, perhaps at a poignant part of their story arch so there was more gravity to it and less of a 'I need lightning in a bottle so I'm gonna run Atul through like ten storms to grind resources' thing :'). Apart of their song would be a good way to do it I think, but having Atul and his inner conflicts being paired with traversing a raging storm just before he leaves I think would wreck me emotionally :'').

That being said I think a musical would be a really good way to convey the story in a succinct way without compromising on the emotional aspect. I can just image Summer singing in the gardens with Daffodil meowing along 🥺. I think I would only trust the music to Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Epic the Musical) though, I think he could do something REALLY special with the SpiritFarer cast. Or heck Toby Foxx maybe? I know he doesn't do musical musicals but I don't think anything has ever moved me quite as much as the Undertale Soundtrack... well the spiritfarer soundtrack too of course 😂 I don't know what sauce they put into the firefly mini game song with Gustav or Giovanni's meteor shower but I get goosebumps every time. The main theme goes hard too, I didn't realise it had lyrics until the trailer for the special edition (final edition?) came out with the animation and the singing then I was just sat there like :

I can't see it in my scan folder right now but if I remember correctly I had picked a set of characters stories to tell and then planned them in which order they appear to what order they disappear to plan out what I could fit into one 2h ish stageplay. I believe the characters I had kept for the story were Gwen, Atul, Stanley, Lily (as a part of Stella's story and potential conclusion), Gustav (couldn't bear to cut him), Buck and Summer. Possibly Jackie and Daria too they have puppet designs but are a package deal like Astrid and Giovanni and then it becomes too many cooks in the kitchen and too many stories to tell in such little time. Although I think Jackie is such a good foil to Stella he would have to be included to have a more satisfying ending. Beverly wasn't out yet and I am . not . a fan of Elena so she was cut. Ideally of course I would only have to cut a few, if I could plan it well enough to have the majority of the cast that would be ideal.

I think instead of trying to fit in a conclusion and compress the story down leaving the story open ended might be the best solution. Like not having everyone we meet leave or Stella either. Then again you can do a lot with a musical so who knows!

The only mini game I had planned for in the time I had was Summer's. I was trying to figure out how to best convey the serpent in a way that would let Stella move around dynamically. But yes I would want special effects for the minigames like flashing for the lightning in Atul's or the fire works in Giovanni's but paired with practical effects and smaller puppets. I mentioned this struggle to my tutor and she recommended the Frozen musical for visual reference because they do quite a wonderful job of conveying Elsa's ice powers with animated graphics/projects.

They're not the best sketched but for the staging what I had in mind was each scene being compressed into a story book style stage that could fold out each bit of furniture needed in the scene and flat pack back down to transition into the next scene. I also liked the idea of each island being like a 'chapter' in Stella's story. The boat would be the main façade of the stage, one side being the outer ship for larger scenes and then when you spin it around the inside reveals the set, like the inside of the buildings you had just seen the outside of- if I'm making any sense :') .

#spirit farer puppets #spirit farer spoilers #spiritfarer stage play #uni project #my art #puppets #theatre design #stage play #long post #this really makes me want to build more puppets #not that I have the room to store them but still

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kinardsevan · 21 days ago

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ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year? 491,782

How many works did you publish this year? 43+ the 30 day fluff challenge that I only got up to 19 on, so....62?

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? aneurysm fic. (I wrote a longer version of this, but from the level of research I put into it, this one for sure).

What work of yours has the most hits? Empty Bones

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Empty Bones

Favorite title you used get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? Taylor Swift and Lights

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? BuckTommy

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? BuckTommy

What work was the quickest to write? this one is harder to gauge because I have minis that were ~500 words all the way through to full-on WIPs that I'm still writing. But as a gauge of anything over 5k, which I could write in a single sitting or take my time on? probably The Saboteur.

What work took you the longest to write? In terms of length and processing, aneurysm fic. I'm still working on chapter 6.

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? I haven't started anything new and haven't come up with any new plots, so anything I have will be current WIPs, of which there are like 5 or 6.

What’s your longest work of the year? a set of empty bones

What’s your shortest work of the year? my shortest mini was 501 words, Connecting. my shortest (actually intended to be a oneshot): get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge (1,793)

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? empty bones, TDDB, Under The Stadium Lights, Never Til Now, aneurysm fic. (I think that's all of them?)

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Angst or emotional hurt/comfort

Your favorite character to write this year? Tommy Kinard

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? Eddie Diaz

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? ....(fuck off @rdng1230) Sal/Tommy

Which work of yours have you reread the most? empty bones

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 16,011

Which work has the most comments? empty bones

Did you do any collaborative works this year? not technically, although I've had friends suggestions/help on certain lines

Did you write any gifts this year? yes

Did you receive any gifts this year? not yet

What’s your most common category? angst/emotional hurt/comfort

What do you listen to while writing? spotify, my bucktommy playlist. my 2024 wrapped list is literally every song I listened to while writing (plus The Tortured Poets Department)

Favorite work you wrote this year? I CAN'T CHOOSE. It's always the twins though. EB or aneurysm fic.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? “Evan said you have PTSD from Afghanistan,” he murmurs softly, his voice trembling.

Eddie glances over at him, his brow furrowed. “Yeah. He found me after a pretty bad meltdown. I hadn’t dealt with the deaths of my crew very well.”

“Yeah, I uh…” He pauses, scrunches his face as he considers whether he’s really ready to give Eddie this information. He shakes his head. “I didn’t lose my crew. I lost my ability to trust anyone.”

Eddie watches him, stays in the same place, doesn’t move his hand away. He doesn’t say anything in response to Tommy’s statement, instead choosing to just listen. When he finally does speak, his tone is gentle and unassuming.

“D’you ever tell anyone,” Eddie inquires. “Report it?”

Tommy shakes his head. “Reporting would’ve required me to go to the people involved.”

“Fuck,” Eddie replies, barely above a whisper. He’s silent for another moment and then squeezes Tommy's arm again. “I’m sorry, T. That must’ve been hell on earth.”

Tommy nods.

After a beat, Eddies expr’ession changes and he turns more fully towards Tommy. Tommy doesn’t even have to see his face to know he’s figured it out.

“Wait. The new guy that everyone hates,” he questions, though not directly at Tommy. “He said he knew you from back there.”

Still, Tommy lifts his head and looks at Eddie. Eddie rolls his neck as it dawns on him what they’re actually talking about and how it all ties together.

“Fuck, Tommy, have you talked to the police?” He asks.

“Athena’s doing her best,” he replies gruffly. “We’re stuck in a holding pattern.”

Eddie huffs out of his nose, locks his jaw briefly.

“I know I’m one in a line of people then,” he replies. “But I’m more than happy to kill the motherfucker in your honor.”

A small laugh falls out of him, although he doesn’t smile.

“Look. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life down this rabbit hole,” he explains to Eddie. “Lately, the PTSD feels like one step forward, two steps back. It’s made me a mess to deal with because I’m kind-of all over the place.”

Eddie fixes a gaze on him. “I can understand that. Not knowing how something’s going to hit you one minute from the next.”

“I’ve kinda been trying to limit how much anyone has to be subjected to it,” he acquiesces. “Although I’ve sucked at managing to do so for Evan.”

“Tommy.” Eddie chides him gently. “I think if he knew that you felt that way, he wouldn’t like it. And you and I both know that holding back is not going to get you very far in the long run.”

Tommy shakes his head, closes his eyes.

“I need him gone, Eddie,” he admits, his voice quivering. “He’s blown through my life and turned everything upside down and it’s like…the solid ground I had for years is just filled with cracks now.”

Eddie almost asks him who he’s referring to, but the wave of pain that crosses Tommy’s face as he talks makes it clear that he’s not referring to Evan.

“Again, more than willing to commit capital murder,” Eddie reiterates, no joking in his tone whatsoever. He slides his hand down Tommy’s arm to the inside of his palm, squeezing over the muscle of his thumb. It makes Tommy look up at him. “You’ve got this, T. You’ve made it this far. Let us get you to the finish line.” 30. Biggest surprise while writing this year

(already answered this one in an ask)

#mel's musings #personal #ao3 wrappped #wrapped survey

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lostyetfinding · 1 year ago

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Acrylic and Ink

Chan has been feeling out of it, stuck with a song but no lyrics so Jisung and Changbin suggest he take some personal time. Jisung gets him an appointment at the Acrylic and Ink tattoo parlor so he can cover up an old scar he has been planning to cover for a while. But the place is different from other tattoo parlors Chan has been to. From the smell of acrylic paint to the big windows letting the sunshine in to the freckled and surprisingly not inked tattoo artist, Felix. And maybe he gets a tattoo plus some inspiration!

I don't even know what to say. I got a tattoo Saturday morning and the combination of that and the new individual stray kids Instagrams had me out of it. It's Tuesday right now, I have been writing this story on and off for four days in between working and writing my other fic that is at like 90k...

I have no clue what to do with myself anymore. I just know if I didn't write this it would not leave me alone. As I was working on it, Chan became more like me, having a sensitivity to smell and when I described the tattoo process I could only describe how it felt for me. I honestly enjoy the pain of tattoos (I have issues) which means he did as well. This is not everyone's experience. I always recommend hydrating before a tattoo and don't be like Chan in this (or me in real life) and try to eat food before the appointment and avoid caffeine that day. Now I have to go write an article as the editor for a university news source and edit the next chapter of my ongoing fic because I have no self-control.

Please leave comments and questions but no concerns because I am honestly the most concerned. Trust me, I don't need any more.

I hope you enjoy!

Read on ao3 or below

3RACHA BOIS (Chan, Jisung, Changbin)

Changbin: what is this gc name?

Chan: jisung picked it not me

Jisung: We are 3racha, what's wrong with it?

Changbin: ew punctuation

Chan: it's fine

Changbin: why the bois?

Jisung: Cause we are the BOIS!!!! 🥳

Changbin: and I repeat, ew

Chan: while this is very entertaining

I have been stumped all day, can't write the lyrics for this song

Jisung: Come get lunch with me, eating always helps me get out of a stump! 🍜

Changbin: can you not use punctuation pls

Jisung: Without a question mark that is just a statement, punctuation matters hyung!

Changbin: ?????

now is it a question

Jisung: There is another statement, how wonderful.

Chan: why am I even here?

Changbin: just go relax chan

Jisung: Are you asking metaphorically or literally? Also, do you mean here as in this groupchat or here as in reality?

Changbin: he obviously meant the gc han

Chan: I wish you guys would flirt in private and leave me alone

Jisung: He just insulted me and you call that flirting?

Changbin: that was not an insult

Chan: changbin has never been the best flirt, the fact you are dating him is still strange

Changbin: I agree with that

Jisung: Moving on... Chan, what can we do to help?

Changbin: not even going to argue that

Chan: I just feel out of it, writers block and disassociation at the same time 😅

Jisung: Disassociation... 🤔

Changbin: thats the thing where he feels a bit out of his body

Jisung: I know what it is, babe. I am just trying to remember what we do when Chan gets like this.

Chan: we?

Jisung: Yes, 'we' the 'we love Chan' club.

Changbin: I am not in the club

Jisung: He is the founder of the club.

Chan: okay...

Jisung: Wait!

Changbin: wait for what

Jisung: Last time Chan was like this he took a day off and did stuff for fun instead of work.

Changbin: I literally just suggested that

Jisung: Therefore no one else has the ability to think the same thing? 🤨

Chan: I have a deadline

Jisung: Who set the deadline? 👀

Chan: ...

Changbin: that means him

Jisung: Perfect! Then it's settled, I am headed to your studio now and we are getting lunch to start off your day of relaxation.

Chan: so I have no say in this?

Changbin: nope

Jisung: Chan! I am knocking on your door open up!

* * *

"So?" Jisung asks me.

I force myself to swallow. "It's good."

Jisung looks so happy to hear this, nodding. "I know! I told you that ramen burgers are the best thing ever."

"They are really good," I concede. I adjust the tinfoil around said burger. I was grossed out at the idea, buns made out of fried ramen noodles with kimchi and vegetables and chicken in the middle. It should taste worse than it does. But, it is good so I take another bite.

Jisung lets out a pleased moan while he bites into his own, the vegetarian version of the ramen burger. He had told Chan that he wanted more vegetables. That was after he told a disgustingly domestic story about how Changbin had made him steak and rice for breakfast.

I liked how happy they were, a brightly lit open floor plan apartment filled with mismatched furniture and video game merchandise. But they could not stop flirting or being domestic in front of me which just makes a hint of jealousy flare up.

"So, what else do you want to do today?" Jisung asks me in between bites of the crunchy noodle sandwich.

I avoid his gaze. "Go back to the studio."

"No!" Jisung exclaims. "What relaxing things are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

I just shrug. "I just want to get this song finished, Jisung."

Jisung sighs. "How long have you been working on the song?"

"A few weeks I don't know," I say as I crumple the tin foil wrapper even more. If I keep taking a bite every time I want to say less than a sentence, this sandwich is never going to last.

"Right, so, if you have tried one thing for a few weeks and it hasn't worked, maybe we can try something else?" Jisung suggests.

I hate that he is right, so I take a bite of my ramen burger. Jisung watches me chew, having known him for over eight years means he already knows I am stalling. It also means Jisung has already won this argument, I just hate admitting it.

Jisung isn't going to wait for me to admit it either. He crumples the now empty tin foil in his hands and says, "I already had Changbin change the code to your studio. You can't get back in until you take at least today and tomorrow to rest."

Before I can even swallow my food and protest, his phone buzzes.

Jisung unlocks it and quickly scans the screen. The huge grin that covers his face is instant confirmation of who sent the message. Changbin. This means my studio is already locked up and that Changbin is already on board with this 'torture chan' day. Glorious.

Another buzzing of Jisung's phone makes him jump, eyes locking with mine. "I have amazing news!"

I go ahead and fold the remaining half of my burger up. "You are locking me out of my apartment too?"

"No, although I did consider it because you have all the equipment you need there but Changbin pointed out that you will still have a bed and a kitchen which is a huge improvement," Jisung explains.

"Right, so the amazing news?"

Jisung nods, locking his phone and tucking it back into his jacket. "The artist who did me and Binnie's last set of tattoos has an opening tomorrow morning. He said you just have to come in and he can figure out something to cover that scar on your wrist."

"That will take hours Jisung," I groan. My entire back had been covered in ink almost four years ago and it took five different sessions in an uncomfortable chair while the entire parlor smelled like cigarette smoke. I am fine with people smoking, but that smell gets obnoxious after a while.

Jisung shakes his head and throws an arm around my shoulders. "No, it is nothing like that awful place you went to forever ago. Felix is super sweet and professional, he even has different scented candles and playlists for clients who have a preference. He said if you send him a photo of your arm tattoos and your wrist tonight, he can have a couple of designs for you to pick from once you get there tomorrow."

"Really, Han? I can't write a song so you encourage me to go get a tattoo? Is this a healthy coping mechanism?" I ask him, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Jisung leans back, pulling me with him and forcing me to rest my head on his shoulder. "Oh it is a terrible coping mechanism, I just prefer this over all the others."

"Well as long as you are happy..." I murmur. I am not present enough to have any chance of dissuading Jisung and don't possess the motivation to try.

He laughs and squeezes my shoulders. "Great! Binnie sent you his number already and your appointment tomorrow is at nine. He said the only other appointment he has starts at one so no rush, the parlor is called Acrylic and Ink."

* * *

New Chat

Chan: Hi, is this Lee Felix?

Felix: yup! You must be Chan right?

Chan: yeah, Jisung said you wanted photos of my other arm tattoos and the wrist you will be working on tomorrow?

Felix: that is correct, I just want to see what other tattoos you like so I can design something that fits in with them and also Changbin mentioned it would be covering a scar correct?

Chan: yeah, old biking accident that I don't like remembering

I'll send those photos

[image attached]

I also sent the photo of my back tatts cause they kinda lead into the ones on my upper arm

Felix: got it! So you don't have anything on your wrist or lower arm yet?

Chan: no, nothing yet

Felix: got it, makes my job a little easier, I will have a few sketches for you tomorrow at nine

Chan: about that

Felix: is something wrong?

Chan: yeah, nine is really early

anychance you would be okay with me coming in at ten instead?

Felix: that works

Chan: cool

oh, I will probably get coffee beforehand, anything I can bring you?

Felix: oh, you don't have to

Chan: I know but it feels rude to come in with a fancy coffee and spend an hour or more with you and not actually share, I am so used to always getting extra for Jisung and Changbin

Felix: okay, if you don't mind I drink Earl Grey most mornings, most cafes call it a London Fog

Chan: got it, see you at ten

Felix: Yep! Make sure to drink lots of water tonight and eat something in the morning!

Chan: right, be a functioning human, got it

Felix: 👍

* * *

It is exactly 10:00am when I walk into the store. I had parked almost five minutes ago but the parlor looks nothing like I expected so I texted Jisung to double-check before carefully maneuvering the door open. I had a hot cafe au lait with an extra shot of expresso and a London fog in my hands.

The words "Acrylic and Ink" looked like graffiti over the door of a small one-story house. A big bay window had been what finally forced me off the porch, seeing the tattoo photos on the wall across from it.

Now that I am through the purple door, which was also pretty shocking, I can smell paint. Why would a tattoo parlor smell like paint? It's not the kind you paint walls with but the other stuff, what is it called again. The wall covered in tattoo designs is an emerald green and has a yellow couch against it. Color has no concept here. The bay window allows the room to be filled with sunlight, too much compared to my windowless studio. I feel the urge to back away from the light, but a wooden desk fills the other end of the room.

I spot some brown hair peaking up from behind the standing height desk and sigh. Jisung forgot to mention I had to socialize here.

"Chan?" A voice calls out.

Saved by the bell, I think to myself as I turn back towards the green wall. In the doorway directly across from me is a blonde haired man with a big smile.

"That's me," I say quietly.

The man smiles even wider and steps forward. Fuck, he has freckles. "Hi! I am Felix, I was worried you might have gotten lost or that Jeongin was too absorbed in his own world to greet you."

"Jeongin?" I ask him. I can't help but let myself check him out. I may need to socialize more often. He is wearing a grey tank top and a black oversized jacket over it with black sweatpants. Also, like four different necklaces that all go to chest level, because apparently the universe hates me. Or maybe it likes me.

Felix laughs. "Jeongin, the kids behind the counter who has earbuds shoved in his ears so he doesn't have to DO HIS JOB!" Felix's voice rises at the end, the man walking over to wave his hand in front of Jeongin's face.

Said kid immediately removes a black earbud from one ear and smiles sheepishly. "Hey, hyung, I meant to come grab you cause your client is here."

"Really?" Felix asks, his tone full of a smile. Producing music for years means I can hear the smile.

"Yeah, crazy right?" Jeongin says confidently.

Felix shakes his head before playfully flicking Jeongin's forehead. "Super helpful, why are we paying you again?"

"Cause you love me!"

"Seems like a really expensive way to show my love, would you settle for just a hug occasionally instead of a salary?" Felix says while walking towards the hallway backwards. He motions for me to follow him with a smile and a nod of his head.

Jeongin shouts after us, "Hyung!"

"He usually has class in the mornings so I am just thankful he isn't asleep," Felix says from ahead of me. His hands rest in his pockets and his straight blond hair reaches his shoulders.

Why am I paying attention to that?

Right, it's ten in the morning, I just need more caffeine.

Felix walks past an open doorway before turning and gesturing for me to head in first. The smell of paint is stronger back here, it's acrylic if I had to guess. "This is my studio, you can just take a seat on the bed and I will get those designs out for you."

I follow his instructions, careful to not spill the drinks in my hand. "Here is that london fog for you," I tell him, extending the full cup of tea in his direction as he walks past me.

"Oh, thank you!" Felix's eyes widen as he accepts the paper cup, allowing me to see his hands, long fingers covered in paint. He automatically takes the lid off and takes a deep breath. "You really didn't have to get this for me," he whispers right before taking a sip.

"No biggie." I force my eyes away from him, trying to look around the studio we are in. The walls are neutral color but covered in artwork. Not just tattoo designs, but also paintings and drawings. Felix is leaning against a large white desk that is cluttered with different packaged objects. There is a cup full of paintbrushes and another full of pencils. The cup holding pencils says 'you are my sunshine' in yellow lettering. I can see the tattoo gun, somehow it is also yellow and has glittery tape around the grip.

Felix grabs my attention once more, now with paper in his hands. "Here are the three designs I thought of. All of them are black ink only to match the rest of yours. I have one that will highlight the scar, almost using it in the design but the other two will cover it up."

I take the paper from him with my free hand. The first thing on the page is a music chord, notes surrounding it but not on it, like then music is leaving the frame. Felix's sketch has my scar as the lines, the long jagged raised skin acting as the lines. It is beautiful but I can't imagine staring at this scar for the rest of my life. The second drawing is of trees, all evergreen, growing up at different heights. I don't hate it but it is nothing compared to the third drawing.

It's a band, the pattern reminding me of the aboriginal patterns in Australia. Starting with a thick band of black that turns into triangles outlined in dots. Then a wavy line of solid black with dots of empty space in the middle, ending with a layer of double circles.

My fingers trace the lines carefully. "This one is beautiful."

"I saw that you had an outline of Australia on your upper arm and it made me think of home. I grew up in Australia, so this is a lot like the drawings I did when I was younger, I was thinking it could wrap around your whole wrist like a bracelet almost," Felix explains.

I look up at him, shocked. "You grew up in Australia?"

"I thought my accent would give me away, I only moved here for college around five years ago so my Korean is a bit messy," Felix says with a shy smile.

Now that he mentions it, I can hear the distinct slow quality of his words. I switch to English when I say, "I grew up in Australia, too. I got offered a job at a production company here when I was eighteen and my grandma lived nearby so I jumped at the chance."

Felix's face lights up, speaking in English as well. "I got a scholarship for art school, my parents work in Sydney so I was born there but apparently having dual citizenship made me a really interesting applicant."

"What made you switch to tattoos?" I can't stop myself from asking. Felix looks nothing like tattoo artists I have met in the past. His hands and neck are clear skin, no ink to be seen. His hair is wispy and long, so pretty as it frames his face. And he has paintings in his studio and paint on his hands.

Felix shrugs, moving towards the sink in the corner of the room. "I love art, my painting skills are so-so but I was amazing at line work. My first year at university, one of my professors told me he loved my drawings and asked if I would design a tattoo for him. So I did. He paid me a bit, not much, but other people started asking that I design their tattoos as well. After about five, I got curious and now I am here."

I hum, taking a drink from my coffee, the liquid now lukewarm. The sound of water running hits my ears as Felix washes his hands. "Why do you have paint on your hands?"

Felix laughs before responding, "Oh that, my best friend slash business partner Hyunjin is a painter. He does piercings and designs as well but mostly he paints and sells them in a gallery at the back of the house. He has this giant canvas that is covered in wet paint and decided he wanted to move the damn thing, I had to go help him because otherwise he would have ruined it."

"That is why it smells like paint," I comment to myself.

Felix turns to me, lips parted slightly and eyes wide. "You can smell it?"

"Well yeah."

Felix shakes his head and turns the sink off, wiping his hands off on his jacket. "Sorry, most people can't smell stuff like that unless they are in the room. I can light a candle if it bothers you? I have different ones cause clients sometimes need something to focus on other than the pain."

I take a breath in, the paint has a sharp hint to it. It's not unpleasant, just out of place in a tattoo parlor. "No it's fine, I just wasn't expecting paint in a tattoo place."

"Well, we aren't exactly a traditional tattoo place," Felix says with a smile. "So, the third tattoo?"

I nod as he takes the paper from me and heads towards an open laptop.

"Cool, I just need to print out the stencil, I will only be able to do about half of it today and you will have to come back in a few weeks if that's okay?" He asks. Felix is opening the design up on his computer and a printer next to it whirs to life in response to him pressing something. I can't see what he is doing but I see the printer start to push a sheet of paper through, making the stencil I assume.

"That is fine," I tell him. I force myself to drink more of my coffee, I probably will need the caffeine very soon.

Felix grabs the thin sheet of white paper from the printer and turns to me, grabbing a bottle as he moves to stand right in front of me.

"This gel is going to feel cold," he tells me. The paper gets set down next to me and he twists the lid of the bottle. "Can I have your wrist?" he asks and I extend it towards him, palm up. He pours the clear liquid onto my wrist, cold and gelly-like. Felix goes to spread it out with his fingers but halts, saying, "Hold it right there, I need to grab my gloves."

I just stare at the gel on top of my scars. The lines from road burn. An accident on my motorcycle from almost four years ago, the crash left my entire arm covered in gashes and bruises, but my wrist had the skin ripped off. I hadn't been able to use it for months. Along with the road-burn, I had broken a bone, so they wrapped it up in a hard cast. Not being able to treat the open wound regularly meant having to keep the scars forever. The reminder of when I couldn't play music for almost a year.

I had lost it without music. Now everytime I see my wrist, I remember how helpless and useless I was then.

"Here we go," Felix says and his fingers enter my line of sight, now covered in a purple plastic glove. "Latex free gloves, just in case," he says.

I look up. Felix is focused on my wrist, and he has...he has freckles. The little dots cover his face. How did I miss them?

His eyes meet mine. "I am going to place the stencil okay? We can change it or move it easily."

"Right," I whisper. I can't help but think about how close we are now. Paying zero attention as Felix places the white paper on my wrist and rubs over it.

As he peels it off he says, "Here we go, what do you think?"

I look down. Now my scars are covered in a purple ink, the pattern reminding me of festivals back home. "Great."

"Perfect! I am gonna get my tattoo gun set up and we can start in a few minutes okay?" Felix asks kindly. I just nod.

I find myself watching as he pulls a box full of individually packaged needles out of a drawer and pulls on out. He sets it beside the yellow tattoo gun and grabs a different black bottle as well as a sunflower dish. He pours black ink into the sunflower, one petal filling up with the ink. Felix takes a drink from his tea as he grabs a rolling stool and pulls it towards me. He puts a second glove on and grabs a clip off the desk. It is silver and he runs it through his hair, before clipping it in place at the back of his head to hold the hair back. I notice how he is careful to not touch his hair with his gloved hands.

"Music preferences?" Felix asks me. I just shake my head, a silence falling over me as I prepare for the burning sensation of the tattoo gun.

Felix smiles at me again and moves a cushioned table over as well. He pulls his phone out and clicks a few buttons before the room is filled with the sound of music. The song is What A Girl Wants, old and nostalgic. I hum along to the first notes.

"I am going to prop the bed up into a sitting position so you can sit back and then I will get started," Felix narrates himself. He goes to my right and reaches under the black pleather surface. Something makes a click sound and then the bed begins to fold.

Felix puts it up until it is at an angle and pats the back. I nod and sit, saying, "Like this?"

"Perfect, now put your wrist here." Felix adjusts the cushioned table next to me, making it go up higher.

"Okay," I mumble.

Another silver table appears next to the one where my wrist is, on it is the sunflower dish and the tattoo gun. Felix sits down and adjusts evertything.

He looks up at me again, smiling wide. "I am gonna get started okay? We can take breaks, as many as you want. If you ever feel uncomfortable or need to fidget just let me know. All ready?"

"I am ready," I say.

Then he clicks the tattoo gun.

The faint bbbbrrrrrrrr sound comes to my ears and I relax.

Felix's hand smooths over my wrist, his free hand anchoring my wrist as his right hand holds the tattoo gun. I watch the ink get sucked up by the vibrating motion of the needle. The clear tip turning black as the silver needle continues to move.

Felix positions it right above my wrist. "Ready?" he asks.

I nod, fascinated by how the needle disappears into my skin. I feel myself torn between watching the needle and closing my eyes to focus on the feeling.

I have never been able to describe how to feels properly. Changbin and Jisung have asked. The first tattoo I got was just a burning sensation, the outline of Austrlia that ihas since become hidden in a swirling pattern around my bicep. After that, they all felt like a sharp burn. As I sit there, as the needle goes in and out of my skin depositing ink, I can feel that sharp pain spreading through my body.

Felix's gentle touch is a juxtaposition to the feeling of the gun. He always brushes over my wrist when going to get more ink, usually using a damp paper towel to clean up the extra ink. When the needle hits the edge of my first scar I tense and Felix pulls back.

"Do you need a break?" he asks politely. I meet his gaze and shake my head, watching his face this time. Instead of the needle going into my skin, I see blond hair falling in front of Felix's face. His freckles covering his tanned skin. When he is looking down at my wrist I can see one right next to the corner of his left eye, it's so beautiful.

He glances up at me occasionally. As the black ink spreads across my wrist and my skin becomes pink in irritation.

I just try to focus on the feeling. It never lasts long enough.

Today is no different, because soon enough Felix is turning his gun off and wiping my wrist with yet another damp paper towel.

"That is it for today, should be pretty irritated for a few days," Felix says, turning to grab a pink jar and a white square off his desk. He twists open the lid of the jar, scooping out some lotion and gently rubbing it into my wrist. "You know the rules I am guessing?"

"Yeah, no sun or rubbing it, keep it protected for the first few hours and moisturize it twice a day for a few weeks," I repeat the instructions I always get with a new tattoo.

Felix hums and nods. "Plus, try not to sweat too much, meaning no heavy workouts for the next two weeks, since it's on your wrist you can get away with more but you need to be careful because infection is a real risk."

I nod. "And I should come back?"

"In about 2 weeks so I can do the other side of your wrist, what do you think?" Felix maneuvers my wrist to check his work. The design looks amazing, clean black lines on my wrist, I can still see bits of my scar but not enough that it bothers me.

"It looks awesome," I tell him. He smiles to himself, his eyes lighting up with pride.

Felix grabs the white square and peels off the paper layer, pressing a clear plastic to my wrist. "This is called a 'second skin' cover, it will bubble up around the tattoo and collect any runoff ink. I suggest leaving it on for about twenty-four hours but it will be safe to remove after just three if you really want to," Felix explains as he peels another layer off the top, making the plastic morph into the shape of my wrist.

I nod. "Thanks"

"All good to go! Just text me about the follow-up appointment when you get the chance and thank you for the tea," Felix says with a blinding smile. I stare at how the path of his freckles moves when he smiles. "Anything else I can do for you today?" he asks hesitantly when I forget to speak or move.

I have to force myself to do something. "No, I am fine," I say. "Just waking up still, it's early."

"It's eleven thirty," Felix laughs.

"Yeah, early, like I said," I mumble. I collect the last of my coffee, now cold in the paper cup and probably disgusting, but still caffeinated and therefore worth drinking.

"Well I hope you wake up soon," Felix teases as I stand.

I just smile at him, not knowing what to say as I exit the room. The smell of paint is once again noticeable, stronger now that I am closer to the studio Felix had mentioned. I walk towards the front door, my eyes anchored on the new ink on my wrist. I am always fascinated by new tattoos, how they look on my skin and how long it takes before I am used to seeing them there.

Felix follows after me apparently because the mop of brow hair shoots up once again when I enter the front room. "Hey Felix, I was just working on a sketch for a client."

"Mhm," Felix hums from behind me, quickly maneuvering himself around my frozen form to behind the desk. He pushes the boy aside, I have forgotten his name already. Felix looks up at me, saying, "You can pay today or we can wait until your next appointment."

Right, payment. My free hand goes to my back pocket, pulling the old brown leather wallet out. "Sorry, I forgot," I mumble.

Felix waves a hand. "No big deal, like I said, we can just wait till next time."

I arch an eyebrow. "And if I chose not to come back?"

"Then I don't get paid," he says, his tone even and his face still a kind smile.

In contrast, the boy next to him opens his mouth wide and rises both of his eyebrows. "No! You have to pay please or he won't pay me and I need money to live okay, this is a capitalist society and I require food and water and electricity to survive, it's almost winter which means I will have heating bills ple-"

"Jeongin," Felix shouts, bringing the seemingly endless stream of words to a halt.

I just shake my head and set my coffee down. "I can pay today, I have no idea when I will be able to come back in because my schedule is..."

"Jisung mentioned it can be erratic in the music production industry."

"You work with Jisung-hyung?" Jeongin asks me with wide eyes.

"Yes," I confirm as I pull out a faded card and hand it to Felix.

Jeongin sighs and his eyelids flutter closed. "Jisung-hyung is so pretty."

I realize that this kid has a crush on Jisung. Laughing, I tell him, "He has a boyfriend, who gets very possessive."

Jeongin straightens up and nods his head in a jerky manner. "Changbin-hyung, I know he is-"

"Before Jeongin can start slobbering over your friends, here is your card back," Felix says and offers me back the plastic rectangle. "You should run before he starts to lament on their hands, trust me."

I take Felix's word for it. "Goodbye, I'll tell Jisung and Changbin you say hi."

As I exit the door I hear Jeongin squeal something along the lines of 'did you hear that hyung?'

My bike is right in front of the store, the good thing about motorcycles is they fit in even the smallest of spaces so I can always find parking. I glance at my freshly inked wrist again, a new coat of paint and some new covers made my bike brand new, so ink should make me the same right? I hope so.

I pop open the back compartment with the buffered cup holders, two to be exact. I have only ever used one at a time until this morning. Once my coffee is settled inside and the lid has been clicked back into place, I grab the black helmet off the seat, for some reason my eyes go to the compartment that holds my extra helmet. It's smaller and less protective. If I were to give someone a ride I would probably take the extra helmet and give them mine.

At that thought my mind betrays me. I can imagine Felix holding my helmet in his tan, paint-specked hands. I can see him flipping the visor up so his eyes and freckles are on display.

I shake my head and shove the helmet on. Why would I think that?

As I straddle the bike and rev it on, another thought comes to me. Looking down I wonder what it would feel like to see Felix's hands wrapped around my waist, little bits of paint and stains from the ink on his fingers. Maybe Jeongin was right to obsess over hands, because the image makes me squeeze my eyes shut.

Part of me is horrified that I seem to be enamoured with a stranger.

But another part of me, the part that writes music and that withered away when I was in a cast, flares to life. The part of me that was hiding just yesterday, when I was struggling to write.

I have a feeling that I could write today.

"Chan!" I hear over the roar of my bike. I look up to see Felix standing right in front of it, the real Felix not the one my mind had created.

He waves and I flip my visor up. I ask, "Is everything okay?"

Felix nods. "Yes, I just forgot that Jisung told me to tell you something. He said to tell you the passcode to your studio once we finished the appointment."

I pause, waiting for him to speak. When he just stands there smiling at me I feel myself sigh. "So what is the password?"

Felix's face lights up. "That's the best part, he let me pick!"

"And it is?" I ask slowly. I have a feeling the answer will only make my inner turmoil worse.

Felix's grin is the only confirmation I need. "It's sunflowers."

I try to stop myself from smiling but I can't seem to. I settle for shaking my head in what I hope is a disapproving way and saying, "Wonderful." Then I flip my visor down and do a fake salute in his direction.

Felix steps backward onto the side walk as I back out of the space, my feet leaving the ground but my eyes remaining on him far longer than safe.

Shit, I need to get to my studio.

I know the lyrics now.

You can find all my other things here!

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