#had someone do it and yeah it felt great
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life would be a lot easier if everyone said exactly what they were thinking when you asked them about it
#had someone do it and yeah it felt great#like no beating around the bush or sugar coating it#saying exactly how they feel and why they feel it so i don't need to guess#i appreciate it. like even if it's coming from someone who isn't in my life actively anymore#like. idk can we all just be honest? for once? please?#kairying in here
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has happened plenty around iconis goings on but what an all-timer
#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#13th annual xmas#do i mean being floored like oh even to hear of it; do i mean that it happened; do i mean that joe iconis shared the whole scene asap? Yea#on this Wow They Made The Day From The Christmas Show Into A Thing day & being reminded of this like let's get that kleinsen moodboard cut#semi accuracy generally around like the Joeuvre Iconisography Works Will Surprise / Do Unexpected Things#but sometimes i can go in with whatever details make me suspect i'll have an Extra great time & be so very correct#& sometimes i can be like please won't someone post the krampusfucking & here's joe himself like you rang. Yes#& that was the sexiest thing of all....the comedic krampusfucking bico but shoutout to saving the day w/clips of your own show you put on#i may be rushing things but. post the scenes again Now#also i will deftly say the xmas show in general b/c if it's not a gift that keeps on giving & also unstoppable & just so [hrraaaughhrrhg]#chaotic accurate pov baby please come home snow throwing clip ;o;#& when i tell you bsol & xmas are dancing cheek to cheek it's also the indirect like pointing ohh i know you w/the voice & the smile#skeleton is krampus is jeremy morse is from bsol which i've been thinking of getting around to for years but that's how it is w/anything#New Media a whole thing & indeed might be that slow getting on it even if i intend to. well already i'd been thinking about it again like#hmm humm....the kinda scarcity of info like something to latch on to would help. & spaghetti western hero needs to rescue his wife as#most the info known isn't very latchy like well godspeed; & even figuring yknow w/an iconis work a solid time ft any fun is guaranteed#so when i've Been like hmm yeah perhaps bsol time soon but then going like ah so i'll probably have a High Time w/the villain at least huh#felt it coming on Exponentially in a [momentum on your side] way like intrigue & frequency of Hmming about it#then had a great time like adhd be damned i sat there & did Nothing while listening to that audio & only paused for like bathroom/drinks#had a great time & ever since have been intermittently saying things to the room enthusiastically / with Niche Inspiration#to no one's surprise....so i'm also delighted if the brief little [majorest & minorest villain] doubled role influenced xmas krampus lol#now there's some trivia & a loop of funny little guys. & once again like for in the iconisography? if you had a nickel....#plus yknow w/the xmas show Overall like i was saying w/Kinda knowing abt it in time for the '19 12th annual show like wough....#we do need a little christmas extravaganza before my spirit falls again (surprising amount of post bmc malaise) & i'm curious#smthing to latch on to there for sure like ah villain wrole how fun? then like i said w/some Glimpses like oh the chestnut medley Energy#in that urgent choreography urgent harmonizing lmao i was so delighted like the beginning of catching onto the degree of playfulness#only the beginning; was still in that process when in the middle of its off years i was like lemme dig into this as Archive/Research#& now here we are & i'm having a high time w/any glimpses past & present (gonna be a minute re: future) celebrate christmac & cheese#even rewatching this video to get this screenshot for the hundredth time snort laughed buhYoot iful what's yuour hurraayy(ah)
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thinking about social worker percy again
#ppl who seriously believe hes gonna be a marine biologist. do you even fundamentally understand percy as a character#like yeah hes the son of poseidon he can talk to sea creatures but guys. thats not enough to make someone passionate abt something#and guys. the amount of math and science that goes into that??? i love percy and hes boy stupid but he is also not doing all that#*not stupid <3#teacher percy is like. its fine but i dont agree with it i dont think he would have the patience or want to do something like that#but social work. with the way he grew up (and we love sally we know she was with gabe to protect him) and what he saw at the hands of the#gods not bothering to give a shit abt their kids and how he still felt unwanted by his dad and how he turned down godhood and instead asked#for the gods to give a shit abt their kids and stop making them feel so unwanted bc he knows how that feels and it fucking sucks#and i know damn well percy never wants to see another kid experience what he did. and hes great with kids ;#*(estelle for example obviously but he was also good with nico who had it worse than him)#and i know in my soul that this is what he would do#and everyone else is wrong bc i know him better than anyone else#r.txt
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no im still on maffhew calling the forsymaffhew lovechild a missile
#txt#missile#i have also learned ive mispronounced missile all my life at least in american terms#wdym you guys dont say mis-AISLE#the culmination of living in city where we're all 1st/2nd gen immigrants whos primary language at home is not english#anyways male equivalent of rocket... missile#sorry my queer mind can't understand that#my gender is when we played house in 2nd grade i didnt want to play because i had to be mom or dad and i went well im only playing if i get#to be like the family dog and they all got nervous because that felt mean and the teachers would scold them#and i was like nah its fine check this shit out (runs around and barks)#my gender is when the classroom got seperated into boys and girls i staunchly refused and insisted i be in my own group as a joke and#everyone was okay w that because it was the height of lolz so random! and i was the poster child for that so naturally yeah thats#charming and cute yeah tumblr user ratatatastic you can have your own group and that was the class joke and it never felt mean because#it was a small sheltered school and weve all know eo since we were like in daycare#my gender is hey i volunteered at a pride festival and ive always struggled with expressing any sort of femininity and bristled pretty#badly because it gets beat into you and after the pandemic i chilled out a lot after sitting with it and this is all to say#i got partnered with a brazilian guy because i was the only one who spoke spanish on shift at the time and while he spoke 3 languages#(eng esp por) sometimes he struggled with how to say something and changed languages like he was channel surfing which was refreshing#because i do the same thing so it was this weird culmination of both of us code switching heavily and acting as translator for eo anyways#this is all to say when i toddled in no one really knew what to make of me pronoun wise and what he decided to do instead of just ask me#like a normal person he just he/him'd me and then proceed to call me good girl in the exact same sentence and i laughed about it at the time#proceeded to file it at the back of my head for when i got home so i could despondently stare at a wall for 5 hours of what exactly that#entails about me and why it didnt bother me at all and i was like huh the panic never stops thats fun you can just have random revelations#even when youre an old dog in the game at 23 and known your gender fucker wuckery since you were like 12 like oh great#conclusion is that i dont know why god sends me his toughest battles im a crybaby AND a whiner LIKE PICK SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY#anyways hehe missile#sorry we lost the thread here
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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If there are major age differences, that's treading a lot closer to it and I am sure things have happened that I wouldn't like (*cough Andrew Cushin*, and if older security/ Matt Vines etc are hooking up with very young fans rather than just locals)
What’s the andrew thing 👀👀👀
well I will be honest with you I NEVER liked Andrew Cushin his vibes are just BAD so have I at any point given him the benefit of the doubt? I have not. But... listen when you can tell you can tell, and that guy is a condescending little misogynist who definitely thinks he's too cool for us (louies) and probably the same about Louis tbh or I'll eat my fucking hat. So getting public reports of behavior that wasn't actually like ACTIONABLE, sure, was even so, to me, simply confirmation of what I already felt certain of: that if that's what he's willing to do in front of the cameras, the behind the scenes is worse, you know? But what did he actually do (that I know of), he jokingly asked fans to show ID to prove they weren't underage to come backstage (first of all the coming backstage part was real, he really was trolling the crowds for girls to give the uh special tour or whatever, and second bro if there is question, and third if it really was a joke that's not actually funny to tell you the truth) and he kissed a girl on barricade (at her request). That's it. So I might just be a hater! But I'm telling you: rancid fucking vibes from that guy. Mark my words.
#andrew cushin... no sorry but he's poundshop matty healy to me forever now after that stunt#when I say thats not a funny joke I want you to know that I am speaking as someone who as a teenager#was very enthused about older boys who had just been onstage and thought it was just great and they were doing nothing wrong#and is now an adult and you know what I WAS WRONG my friends and I were CHILDREN and that shit was not actually cool#to be clear idk what went on with michael. Maybe he is also picking girls out of the crowd to invite backstage#in which case honestly... ew. but my impression is we were talking more like meeting people out clubbing post show/ day off kind of thing#which feels very different to me. but I guess I don't actually know...#feel free to send us the gossip kids!#I looked back at what I said about andrew back before and yeah I'm being totally inconsistent... but like I say with him#it was just confirmation of what I already felt sure of#I will say however that I don't actually think michael seems that amazing either like not horrible like andrew but. eh.#wouldn't be blown away if something I found annoying or shitty came out about him
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God nothing hits like early bleach, the substitute shinigami arc and rukia’s execution arc are just. Ugh. Something about the crunchy-ass early 2000s-ness of it that the rest of the series lost (not just animation wise but aesthetic wise), when there was still hope that all the potential would be capitalized on, idk, it was just fun and getting to fall in love with all the characters because pretty much every single one introduced was great and engaging. I just really really wish the series had kept that early vibe that it started losing once the visoreds were introduced, they got the last little tail end of it. As soon as we got to the heuco mundo arc this all vanished and it’s so upsetting, the series just lost a lot of its personality, if that makes sense, I wish it had kept it so badly
#like they’re all the same characters but they all started taking themselves way too seriously after that point#and I do get that that’s when the Big Plot actually started picking up (which is a whole other thing I have thoughts on)#but like… idk the series just lost a lot of its early charm and appeal#which is funny considering the hueco mundo arc is actually my favorite one#but idk I’m watching the first arc for fun today#and I forgot how much of ASSHOLES rukia and ichigo were and how fun their dynamic was#and yeah I fucking miss it it’s just not the same the rest of the series#not to mention tatsuki actually got a lot of focus#even Chad and Orihime and uryu felt a lot more genuine than they did the rest of the series#(though that’s because it was before they were reduce to being Ichigo’s love interest and then cannon fodder to shittily power scale enemies#by getting the shit beat out of them because kubo didn’t know how else to do it)#idk like I said! I just wish the series had stuck a lot better to its earlier aesthetic#like it still could have worked with the more ‘serious’ plot lines v easily considering how well it meshed with rukia’s execution#I JUST MISS RUKIA YELLING AT FLIP PHONES AND ICHIGO BEING BAD AT SNEAKING OUT WINDOWS AND TATSUKI RAGGING ON THEM#AND THEIR NORMAL ASS CLASSMATES TALKING ABOUT HOW FUCKING WEIRD THEY ALL WERE LIKE IT WAS SO GOOD 😩😩😩#imagine that energy being applied to the hueco mundo arc it would have been great#it even would have been fun to see it come back during the fullbringer arc as a bunch of fun callbacks to the early bleach that was#being alluded to that entire arc with parallels#anyways once again weeping the potential this series had#someone watch it so we can talk about it and set up our own insanely convoluted canon for funsies on discord or something lmfao#kaz rambles
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Olena gave an interview to BBC
youtube
#this interview was so good and had some great answers#and our queen destroyed klitschko and his bullshit with a small and like two sentences#not on my bingo card but here for it#love how you can see all the answers running through her head and she has to fight herself to stop herself from saying too much 😂#“you talked with vova about this ... your are the first lady ... you talked ... first lady ... be nice olena ...”#THAT LITTLE SMIRK AND WINK ENDED ME 😂😂😂#and taking a sip of her water to swollow down everything else 😂#i felt the deep sigh after the “hAs ThE wAr ChAnGeD yOuR hUsBaNd” question#if she would get money for everytime someone asks her her foundation wourld be swimming in money#i also dont know why almost eeeevery journalist has to ask#like ... other journalists asked before#she answered so many times#what do you all expect??????#that she suddenly is like “Oh fucking yeah is now dancing tango and became a moon lover” or something like that????????#and even if he has changed in a notable / bigger way...she wouldnt tell you she is going to proect her man#loved the christmas question at the end#and how olena dodged the part about the typical ze christmas traditions 😅#Youtube
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Aquiring knowledge -> getting filled with frustration and anger and dread -> wanting to stay informed regardless -> aquiring knowledge -> getting filled with frustration etc etc
#i am fucking talking to the void and vallahi i WIIIIISSSHHHH i had a proper oulet to let out my frustration#but FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKK#nothing scarred me and showed me how fucking alone we were in our struggle and grief than the muslim world's reaction to rojava's invasion#in 2019. you know ok i know kurdistan gets little media coverage usually bc it's not relevant to american interest#but the invasion 2019 was HEAVILY covered by western media as it was the direct result of trump withdrawing the troops#and having a phone call with kerrrrrrrdogan saying hey you can invade now#so there was ZERO reason or possibility the muslim world wouldnt see what was happening#it was EVERYWHERE it got great western media coverage#but when i saw big muslim news accounts staying either silent OR siding with turkey i felt so fucking enraged and disturbed#and rejected. in turn there also werent individual muslims showing support as big crowds#like obv there were some here and there but not as a collective. they either sided with turkey or simply didnt care#you have to clock that. i cant say how many died but hundreds of thousands were displaced#turkey USED FUCKING WHITE PHOSPHORUS. WHICH IS A WAR CRIME. IT'S A CHEMICAL WEAPON#they literally said theyd create a strip of land to move syrian refugees there. arab refugees on kurdish land to change the demographic#and every fucking one went yeah that's fine nothing wrong with it. vallahi those people's plights are on you#and allah will ask. dont think he wont. while we were screaming for the muslim world to see us#they in turn pointed there fingers at us. said turkey was fighting terror. said they wouldnt hurt civilians#but what ever do you guys know what it's like to scream and scream but have no one bet an eye?#that's how i feel. that's how we kurds feel#man fuck off whatever i want to strangle someone#nesi rants
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YEAH NO TONBI GOT HANDS.......... my timing on suggesting it may be Questionable but I AM very glad it holds up as a movie :] hopefully the interview and We Make Antiques are fun diversions! But also take it easy <3 can confirm Nakai is Pretty Moe in both though <3 And I WILL harass you about Masato's VA next week...
TBF YOU SUGGESTED IT A WEEK OR SO AGO twas on me for taking a while to get to it... nevertheless i did really enjoy it thank you..... AND YAYA IM SO STOKED TO WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW AND WMA2 THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆!!!!!
esp cant wait to hear about masato's VA in the future.. 👁️👁️
#snap chats#LISTEN i think we all just have to accept at this point any time there's a story about a doting father or fts a doting father#i will cry like its unavoidable. so whether my life's falling apart that week or everything's fine#There Will Be No Difference In How Much I Cry ☠️☠️ im just built terribly what can i say it makes for GREAT inspo tho#tonbi WAS real cute tho and i did enjoy it a lot Because yasu did remind me of my dad a lot#very lucky to say my dad's never slapped me or thrown water in my face tho so LMAO BUT FOR THE MOST PART Yeah...#in a way it weirdly felt like watching an AU of my life. if i may sound insane. listen i already said the kid's name had me twisted LISTEN#fr tho cause ive always wondered what my life wouldve been like if i was able to be raised by my dad instead#im gonna make myself start crying if i get too deep into it LMAO NEEDLESS TO SAY i really enjoyed the movie :)#EVIL that they really did let us see akira get married and now yasu gotta give a speech and If He IS Anything Like My Dad#i know damn well he was winging it and didn't prep a script and I Will Start Crying if i think back to my sis's wedding#STILL MAD THAT THE ONE TIME I HAD TO PISS WAS RIGHT BEFORE HIS SPEECH BUT WHATEVER MOVING ON#said i wasnt gonna talk bout the movie/my dad anymore lest i make myself UPSET yet here i am... always saying more when i shouldnt ☠️#but yeah... i have ONE (1) more comm this week Lest Someone Wants To Snipe A Spot IDK#SO im gon do that :]#and im kinda tired rn... but the uncertainty of how much time i have nowadays urges me to work on it a bit#i dont THINK it should take super long but it IS a full-rendered piece so.... it will take time needless to say#n e way not to sound insane but nakai is An Endearing Chap. is the most sane way i can put it#i mentioned it durin a stream but somethin bout him just naturally exudes cute... idk... im delirious probably ANYWAY BYE FR NOW#CANNOT WAIT for next week to be harassed 🥰🥰
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Yooo csm movie announced just some days after i finished the manga!!! Lets gooooo!!
#🪐.txt#kinda conflicted with the change in direction btw i really liked season 1 and how movie-like it was#it also wasn't as fast paced as the manga and that is something i appreciate a LOT#also a hot take here. ik ppl are happy that now it is manga accurate but hear me out: adaptions doesn't need to be accurate and completely#loyal to the original source#not to say that it should be something completely different but adaptions are adaptions because someone else puts their artistic vision on#it to make something greater. and i think s1 succeed more in making me enjoy the story and get attached to the characters than the manga#(the manga is really good but it felt too fast paced to i really care for the characters' deaths)#and also it feels so weird to change the artstyle midway. at least finish part 1 and *then* change directors#but it would be better if s1 was more vibrant and had s2 director and *then* part 2 has s1 director with its toned down colors#and cinematography. gosh that would be the best art direction they could've have taken#bc not only it shows the tonal shift but also it fits so much part 2 be more like a movie bc it would be taken after the movie date from the#movie and that would make the date stick out more + part 2 had a bigger focous on tv n propaganda n shit so like. the anime being cinematic#could do so much with those stuff#so yeah i dont like the art change bc not only i like the og but bc the overarching art direction would be the opposite of what it should've#been#ok the movie part was really confusing lemme change that- what i meant was like#that chapter of the date between makima and denji is really good. right? it sticks out a lot#and that date will happen in the raze arc i.e. CSM movie#and so will have the vibrant and anime-like style. but then when after reze arc comes the assination arc if im remembering right#that arc could be in a transitional state between the two direction styles to show that shit is getting real. then BAM full s1 style either#in the final scene where denji is eating Makima or the intro to Asa. and look im not expressing myself well here but it would be so well#connected if after Makima's death the anime gets cinematic just like a movie. kinda drawing back to that date between her and denji#gosh they should just let me direct csm. id do a great job fr#csm spoilers
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i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...
#ik its hard to convey tone and emotion through text but i do really worry.#im sure people have felt the same way about me being new into being considered a guy too. Ik i wasnt prepared for how emotionally distant#guys can be. and how like. atomized we all are and how a lot of guys only know how to interact with the world through violence and#being a dick and .-. basically how a lot of guys are just bullies. idk.#i think if we have experiences that we think we can help others by sharing them and maybe preventing them from making the same mistakes#as us then we should share them yknow. idk.#for me at least it does in some ways feel like im a little kid again learning what its like to navigate a new social setting.#like i didnt realize how much playing pvp games with cis guys suck and ppl who grew up with that are just like. 'yeah. thats just how it is#im literally playing wow rn and playing on a pvp server and i literally never attack anyone sdhjdshjvvfd and ppl are just like.#dicks for NO REASON. im LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY. ugh#i get it dude! this is the only way you can feel like you have a big dick but cmon. you gotta accept the truth some day#^and having to learn to talk like that has been something ive had to adopt from dealing with cis dudes. fun#some transfems i want to grab by the shoulders and shake and be like 'DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF'#with a desperate plea in my gaze#'I WANT TO PROTECT YOU BUT I ALSO KNOW PPL HAVE TO LEARN SOME SOCIAL SHIT ON THEIR OWN BUT BY GOD ARE THERE#SOME THINGS I REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO FUCKING LEARN ABOUT THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AND#IS UNFORTUNATELY LIKELY TO HAPPEN TO ANY WOMAN'#why am i becoming a parent. i need to stop. problem is i care too much about people in spite of what ppl might think .-.#i worry so much thats why i yell at ppl online bc i dont want them to get hurt or do something to fuck themselves over idk.#i just... dont express it the best way. like a gym coach or something 🤦#i really am Dad Vibes now huh. how do i stop myself from becoming a dad. i dont even have kids.#well. i have a cat. the eternal rebellious teen. but still#i need to stop expressing my care and fear through anger. its not great. ppl misinterpret me too much w it. but im not mommy enough to#sugarcoat things and coddle people if i feel like thats whats happening. so idk.#i realize this might sound patronizing and im not trying to be at all. to transfems with more experience this is like 'duh' to them probabl#but I'm more talking to the young transfems I see online who seem like they dont go out much and i dont blame them at all for it#its fucking scary out here. especially as a woman. esp as someone alt righters fetishize. and im sorry.
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“baby stop im trying to read”
“what do you mean ma im just getting warm”
toji was in fact not just getting warm. his big calloused palms were currently underneath your (his) shirt fondling your tits. it wasn’t uncommon for toji to have his hands on your breasts as you read before bed. He used them like stress relievers. warm and soft and comforting to the touch. you had your kindle in one hand and the other placed on his head gently rubbing at his scalp as he nosed his way into the crevice of your neck.
“fuck baby you smell so good. you always smell so clean and vanillery.”
that made you smile.
“yeah i know i smell great.”
he laughed at that because yes you did always smell great. god he was so comfortable right now. nothing on the planet could top this for him. with your boobs in his palms toji could overcome anything. his touch became a bit heated and you knew this would soon be escalating. but you weren’t going to be the one giving in, if he wanted you he was going to have to ask. carefully his fingers began to pinch at your nipples and he knew he had you right where he wanted you when you began to mewl at his touch.
“what are you reading about that’s got you like this baby? are you cheating on me?”
“how’s it cheating if i’m reading you buffoon? and you know exactly why.”
he couldn’t help but smile at the easy banter that was so common between the two of you.
“want me to do to you whatever you’re reading about?”
and just as toji began to hike up your shirt with the intention of putting his mouth to work you both heard a slight little patter of feet on the hard wood floor. you couldn’t see anything due to the darkness in the room but you were pretty sure someone was here. toji lifted his head up with his hands still holding your chest under your shirt and craned his neck over the edge of the bed when he felt a little finger pat his shoulder.
“daddy i did sick”
“oh megs for fucks sake.”
authors note: i didn’t expect to receive so much love on this lil drabble! thank you so much lovely people
#jjk#jjk x you#gojo satoru#jjk toji#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji fushigro x reader#toji x reader#toji fluff#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji smut#toji fushiguro#toji zenin#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk gojo#gojo x you#geto x reader#nanami x reader#nanami kento#jjk fanfic#jungkook x reader#jujutsu toji#tojbnuy#toji angst#toji au
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just unlocked an insane memory (in the tags)
#there was this one day in fifth grade when all the boys were playing kickball or something at recess and two of them got in a fight#and one of them who we’ll call c (who happened to be the biggest/tallest kid in our grade) grabbed the other kid who we’ll call j#and literally shoved his head full force into a tree#and it was BAD j had a massive gash all down the side of his face and needed a ton of stitches#and he went to a different middle and high school but i saw him once like 3-4 years later and he still had a huge scar#anyway shortly after it happened we got a new seating chart in my class and i had to sit right next to c#and as a 10 year old girl who was like 4’4 and 90 pounds i was TERRIFIED like i was just so uncomfortable being near him#and i felt so fucking guilty about it bc c happened to be black so a part of me was like ‘i can’t be scared of a black kid that’s racist’#but like no?? i had a pretty valid reason to be scared of him and it had nothing to do with him being black??#anyway yeah i was terrified of this kid for so long but i swear everyone else we went to school with just forgot about the whole thing#like he was super popular in high school and i’m pretty sure he and j were even still friends#and i’m still confused by it like is it a guy thing to just be totally chill with someone after they bash your face into a tree#bc i didn’t even see it happen and it lowkey traumatized me for years#like i can’t stress enough how severely fucked up j’s face was and how many stitches he needed and how prominent the scar was way later#anyway. wherever j is now i hope he’s doing great he was one of the sweetest kids i ever met at that school#and c went on to become a soundcloud rapper in high school named double dippa chocolate and then moved to california so i’m sure he’s fine#crazy shit though that was one of the only fights that ever happened at any of the schools i went to#lj.txt
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#anyways im still mad today but its not lingering in my head like it was yesterday#thank fucking god for that lmfao#the more i think about it the more i realize that theres really no reason to be that upset bc yeah it sucks to lose#someone so close to me like that but......she was not afraid to give me red flags even when we were in a good place#and tbh this felt like a huge neon sign screaming get out while you can#and if the other girls we were friends with want nothing to do with me after this i honestly really do not care#i didnt see them often anyways and the one is basically still a teenager who drove me nuts 95% of the time#and the other 2 dont get into drama at all so i doubt they feel any type of way about me considering neither of them are that kind of person#im more annoyed that she did this right before we had plans for one of the girls birthdays and i have a feeling thats not happening anymore#i keep wanting to ask if were still doing anything but i would actually rather die than see b so..........no thank you#even if they do say anything ive already made other plans for tomorrow so......oh well#i feel so much less insane when everyone says i didnt do anything and its scaring me that i keep thinking back to the time era she accused#me of saying shit during and im like ???? i dont remember saying that. did i say that?? did i say you shouldnt have had your kid and i just#dont remember??? did i say we hang out to escape him and i just dont remember???? and all i can think of is false memories and a situation#where someone else said those things to me in that same time period. anyways i dont know why anyone would remember that specific of wording#if it wasnt to just be used as ammo later. but i genuinely dont remember saying any of that shit esp not that recently?????#and b is ungodly great at gaslighting and she also takes shit at face value and doesnt seek further info if shes not doing okay#so im just.....yeah im taking this as my sign#and to eliza from february.....bitch did i say any of that because i do not fucking remember it#self
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