#had my priorities straight when it came to life goals

[abirddogmoment]

I love seeing Rory run in the field!! Bird dog doing bird dog things!! You said in the tags you had different training and priorities with her vs Mav re: offleash running like that. What kinds of things did you do differently with Rory to be comfortable having her offleash at a distance with reliable recall?

I was writing a whole novel but really it boils down to this chart. Under the cut because it's (vertically) long.

In short, it's just as much about what I didn't do with Maverick as what I did do with Aurora.

(Edited to add: I am extremely fortunate to live in the prairies where the kind of visibility I need is easy to find. Use my experience to inspire your own training if you like, but don't use it as a recipe. I have my own goals and my own priorities and those are likely different than yours.)

Maverick:

🔵 Supremely confident from day 1

🔵 Came home in August (extremely good and exciting time for outdoor adventures)

🔵 Prioritized specific sports behaviours over foundational building blocks like engagement and cooperation

🔵 Learned bad habits from my older dog at the time (prey drive > recall)

🔵 Was indiscriminately prey driven. If it moved, he wanted to kill it.

🔵 I phased out treats too fast and didn't want to use an ecollar or long line

🔵 I focused on "social media dog behaviours" (think like walking extremely close to me on trails) and got frustrated when we couldn't meet these rather than meeting my dog where he was at. This created a lot of frustration in our dog adventures.

🔵 I practiced recalls constantly when I didn't have to, making them a tedious behaviour for him. I would recall him 20-50 times a hike for everything from "you're too far away from me" to "I want to take a photo".

Aurora

🟣 Came to me a little insecure and looked to me for reassurance

🟣 Came home in December (a cold and relatively boring time for outdoor adventures)

🟣 I prioritized engagement, cooperation, and name recognition from day 1

🟣 Practiced good habits by walking offleash in the snow either alone or with Pike (amazing recall)

🟣 Is extremely birdy, but is very very focused. She easily calls off deer or people/dogs in the distance because she mostly cares about birds.

🟣 Literally always gets offered a high value snack for recalling or voluntary check ins (I will never phase this out, I will carry chunks of cheese on offleash walks for the rest of her life)

🟣 I never practice recalls if I don't need them. This one is hard to explain, but once Rory understood that long whistle = come back as fast as you can, I don't whistle unless I really need to. I recall her an average of 0-3 times per hike (*based on visibility or wildlife*) and trust her to make good decisions otherwise. I keep my eyeballs on her 100% of the time and choose areas with good visibility, but I don't recall her just for being far away.

🟣 I limit hikes where I have to nag her often (think, in the woods where I dont have a great line of sight and have to remind her to stay close to me) to a few times a month or less so she doesn't start getting frustrated about it.

🟣 I trust the training I put into her and choose to run her in areas with (relatively) reduced risk if she makes the "wrong" choice. I don't nitpick everything she does and I let her make her own choices, within reason.

🟣 I have an interrupter cue to ask her to stop doing something before I call her back (if she's digging a hole and I want her to move on, I use "Rory, enough! Here!") instead of whistling at her.

🟣 I don't force her attention on check ins. If she runs back to me and doesn't want a snack and wants to run straight back out, I let her run back out.

🟣 I have anticipatory cues for the end of a walk so I don't have to recall her when we get to the end of the field.

I want to say that it's nerve wracking to watch my dog sprint at full speed hundreds of yards away from me. I have to fight the impulse to recall her just because she's far away. It's an exercise in trust because I'm always worried about her going over the horizon, or running into a wildlife, or falling into a hole, but it's an important thing to work on if you have a dog that needs that trust to thrive.

Mav and I were a good team, but I never fully trusted him outdoors. I always had my finger on the ecollar buttons ready for him to do an evil and need to be vibrated. It was exhilarating to watch him in the field, but it wasn't really fun or relaxing.

Rory and I built a much stronger foundation of trust (I personally never would have been able to do this if I had more than one dog). She doesn't know any tricks yet, but I'm super confident in her recall and ability to take direction in the field, even when she's sprinting as fast as possible.

[virtuousweakling]

The Ghosts of Hantengu's Past, Present and Future

Stave 1: Tanjiro's Ghost

(this story was written before Christmas but never got posted. On behalf of the new year, I decided to go for it.)

Enjoy! 🕯️

((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))((❇))

Tanjiro was dead. There was no doubt about that. Once a lively, just and remarkable young Hashira who only wished to avenge his family who had been robbed and fatally ravaged by demons, now a mere spirit who wishes solely to guide lost souls out of corruption. It's important to specify that Tanjiro was dead, because nothing good could come from the story otherwise. If we were not informed that Hamlet's father was dead at the beginning of the play, there would be no understanding as to why the events in his life played out the way they did, thus making his death extremely important. To be absolutely clear, Tanjiro was dead as a doornail. A coffin nail would be more fitting, but because it is the norm to refer to him as being dead as a doornail, I will refer to him simply as dead as a doornail. Tanjiro knew not who it was who had stolen from so many people in his village, but his impeccable sense of smell and observation skills gave him an idea of who it may have been. His priority was to hunt demons terrorizing innocent people, but finding the traveling thief was certainly on his list. Sadly, Tanjiro succumbed to death before he could accomplish his goal.

Hantengu was a conniving thief who stole from unsuspecting people regardless of their creed. He stole from the poor, the rich, the healthy and the ill with absolutely no regard for anyone other than himself! Hantengu spent his cold nights in an abandoned house that was dark and doused in cobwebs and eerie creaks whenever the slightest wind blew. He was alone and he liked it that way. No one ever came near him or greeted him with a smile and even the blind men's dogs knew to guide their owners in another direction when they noticed Hantengu was coming. On this particularly cold Christmas eve, Hantengu decided to go out and steal gifts from busy shops and pick-pocket distracted townspeople. He couldn't care less if he had no use for whatever was inside of the vibrant, neatly wrapped boxes. "If they're of any value, I can sell them!"

After some hours of playing cat and mouse with goods that had no right to be in his possession, Hantengu finally arrived at his desolate and frigid abode, heating himself a small bowl of miso soup and sitting down to eat. The strange sound of a sword being withdrawn from its sheath coming from behind his bedroom door alerted him, but he quickly shrugged it off and snickered, "Bah! Humbug." He figured there was no way anyone could find him there, and he certainly was not a demon, so there was no need to worry about being tracked. After all, he was innocent, right? As Hantengu brought the spoon to his dry lips, the same sound assaulted his ears but even closer and louder than before! "Ah," He dropped his spoon. "H-hello? Who's there?" Hantengu put the bowl down and began to tremble. A strange, echoing voice called out from behind the door. "Haaaanteeenguuuu..."

"H-How do you know my name!?"

Hantengu received a fright like none other as a masked spirit floated straight through the wooden door without even opening it! "I've come to warn you, Hantengu..." Hantengu shrunk into his seat, trembling. "Warn me? Of what! I-I don't even know who you are!" The spirit was clad in dark red robes with intricate designs that resembled both waves and flames. Hantengu found this interesting, the blend of fire and water. On his back was a box, sealed with a heavy chain. The spirit removed his finely sculpted Kitsune mask, revealing a rather attractive but sullen young man's face. The most noticeable detail about him was the burn-like scar on his forehead. "I've come to give you a chance to repent and change your ways or else." Hantengu choked on his saliva for a moment, preparing to defend his innocence until the spirit brought the tip of his sword to Hantengu's face to get his undivided attention. The spirit spoke out harshly, "No! I won't tolerate any excuses for you will atone for your actions or spend your eternity in Hell!" Hantengu shrieked and covered his face, peeking through his fingers at the ghostly figure. Hantengu noticed a rather sad look in the spirit's cloudy eyes and thought for a moment... 'Is he....taking pity on me?'

"Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits! The first at midnight... The second at 2, and the third at 3 o'clock!" The terrified Hantengu swallowed, the Adams apple in his throat rolling hard against his thin skin. "Ah, I'd ...rather not." "You have no other option or else." The spirit was stern in his words. "O-or else what?" Hantengu shivered. "OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE A MISERABLE OLD MAN WITH NO CHANCE AT REDEMPTION!" Hantengu squealed at the spirit's booming and degrading shout. "C-can't I just take them all at once and get it over with?" Hantengu bartered. The young man adjusted his mask back on his face and raised a pointed finger, "Expect the first at midnight" and suddenly disappeared. Hantengu immediately ran to his tousled bed in the corner that laid upon stained and blistered hemp mats. He quickly pulled the blanket over his face to hide, holding his knees and panicking.

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 39- How Much You're Loved

Chapter Summary: Jen is in the hospital, after collapsing from exhaustion while ARMY trends positive messages for her on Twitter. The members think of memories and thoughts when they first met her

Words: 7,000+

Genre: FLUFF with all the members! Sweet chapter.

Author's Note: Just a random thought as I edited. I'm not a shipper for BTS or ship anyone with anybody in K-Pop but you know how people ship Jimin and Jungkook? Or just absolutely love their bond together and make tons of videos and content about them? I feel like people would do that with Jennie and Taehyung, having those two be the most shipped together. I love their friendship. And rereading and editing through the part about him and her really got me thinking a lot about their bond. It's truly sweet. Also I think my admiration for him and him being my bias in BTS is also a factor hehe. Truly the best.

----

“I don’t get why you would want to go to South Korea.”

“What do you mean why? Why not?”

“I just...don’t think it would be wise. It’s right by North Korea. It’s dangerous.”

“It’s dangerous everywhere.”

“You could get kidnapped or something.”

“You can get kidnapped anywhere, unfortunately."

“I’m sorry, I can’t support this.”

“Are you serious? Please, Auntie, don’t discourage me.”

Jen stared at Aunt with a frown. Family came over for a big dinner, a little get together, and her mother proudly announced that she was going to Korea to become a trainee for Big Hit Entertainment. Of course, her family had no idea what that was, so Jen explained it was a company in the K-Pop industry and she always wanted to perform and work with that genre.

For some members, the news didn’t sit right, including her mother’s sister. 

For the other family members, they were supportive and thrilled that she still wanted to perform despite the rough ending with Amity. Perhaps if she stayed in America, they would react differently. They would be more supportive instead of reluctant.

“Maybe you should just stick to school and go to college like your sisters are aiming for.” Her Grandmother spoke out.

“Yes, she could do something with singing and dancing at school. Problem solved.” Her grandfather agreed.

“I feel as though she needs to think of a backup plan besides singing and dancing. She can’t do that forever. Proper education is a must. Go to Law school, like my dad.” An older cousin suggested as Jen fought the urge to roll her eyes.

She sighed and sat her fork down, losing her appetite to eat as she kept hearing various comments about her career goals.

Do this.

Go to this.

Learn this.

Go to this college.

Don’t go to Korea.

Don’t do this forever.

All you do is do this. Set your priorities straight.

Same.Old.Bull.Shit.

“She should stay in America. Your daughter will not survive being in a place like Korea.”

“I agree, she’s still a little girl. She’s going to be there all alone. Miles away. That’s emotionally draining. How could let her do this? I don’t want my niece to be in a country like that. Right near North Korea? Do you not know what they are doing over there?”

It’s like this world is driven by fear...why must fear stop us from doing what we want to do? Live, we only have one life. 

Jen’s mother did not hide her annoyance in her voice as she spoke, “Well, I am her mother and I support her. Whatever MY child wants to do, she’s going to do it.”

Her mother was in the same boat when she was Jen’s age. She wanted to do something different and did it, despite the family protests. She wanted Jen to do the same and never be discouraged.

“And are you really going to risk it?” Her sister questioned her reasons.

“You’re paranoid. Shit happens everywhere.”

“She’s going to be miles away!”

“She’ll be busy but we will all try to visit when we can. It’s going to be okay.”

“That distance? Are you sure you’ll be able to handle that? I’m just scared about her going to-“

“Would you cut it out? It’s final. She’s going. You’re not changing my mind.” Jen heard her mother snap.

It’s like when someone wants to think outside the box and do something different instead of family traditions, you’re automatically questioned. They’ll try everything they can to change your mind.

Jen broke that cycle.

-------

All seven of the boys were inside the hospital room while Jen was lying on the bed, still unconscious. The doctor was in the room with them, informing them of what happened. 

“She needs a lot of rest. Her body shut down due to exhaustion. And she has a concussion. She must’ve hit her head hard when she fell. We’ll run more tests later. The seven of you can wait in the waiting room. I can let you know when she wakes up.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Namjoon spoke up. “We’re gonna stay here with her until she wakes up.”

The doctor stared at them, astonished. “A-all seven of you?”

“Yes. I hope that won’t be a problem.” Jin smiled.

“A-Are you family?”

“Yes.” Yoongi’s deep voice was heard. Although not related by blood, they were still family to her. “We want to stay with her. We won’t cause any trouble.”

“Please.” Jungkook’s plea was heard as he looked at the doctor with desperation. He didn’t want to leave her. He wanted to stay with her until she woke up.

“A-all right.” The doctor accepted their request and took his leave.

The boys let out a sigh and made themselves comfortable around the room. Namjoon scrolled through his Twitter feed already seeing the K-Pop news headlines

‘BREAKING! Jennie from BTS collapses during dance practice.’

Angelina was quick to call him to ask how she was doing and he informed her of the details. She went out of her way to let Jen’s sisters know so they could let their parents know. Her sisters were freaking out but her parents remained calm on the outside yet obviously worried on the inside, trying to stay optimistic and were glad that it wasn’t anything worse.

This wasn’t the first time Jen had overworked herself and collapsed. Her mom resisted the urge to give her a lecture when she woke up like she did the first time back in the Amity days.

“This girl does not know what your body can’t run 24/7 means.” Her mom would vent. 

But she was glad it wasn’t anything worse and planned to send her a large box of snacks and other favorite food.

On Twitter, there were hashtags for Jennie, such as #GetWellJennie as ARMY came in defense of her against the Antis. The passion and support of ARMY were always underestimated and Antis found out the hard way.

‘Who do I have to kill!? Why are ya’ll ganging up on my girl Jennie!

#JennieProtectionSquad’

‘These antis can catch these hands! I hope she’s okay!’

Jimin’s talk with Jennie helped her ease up on the doubts from the Anti tweets, but she still felt like she should work harder. Thanks to growing insomnia, she couldn’t sleep much and she was so fixated on getting to dance practice early that she didn’t even eat any breakfast. That and the lack of rest was the main cause of this situation.

On Twitter, one of the more popular BTS fan accounts tweeted,

‘Let’s make an I Love Jennie tread. Keep replying to this tweet. I Love Jennie because she showed me that dreams do come true.’

‘I love Jennie because her smile warms my heart. I’ll have a bad day but once I see her, I cheer right up’

‘I love Jennie because she is a chocolate goddess. This black beauty deserves nothing but love. #WeLoveYouJennie

‘I love Jennie because she took the time to listen to my passion for singing during her singing exhibit and gave me advice.’

‘I love Jennie because she’s one of the kindest souls ever. I love this black queen!’

‘I love Jennie because her hair is goals and I’m looking forward to the day when she surprises us all with a new hair color’

‘I love Jennie because you can sing like a dying cat but when she harmonizes with you, it’ll sound nice!’

‘I love Jennie for her love for Ailee and I hope she gets to meet her and collab with her one day’

‘I love Jennie because she’s the wildcard of BTS and full of surprises. You learn and see something new from her from time to time that you never expected’

‘I love Jennie because of her cute cartwheel obsession. One day I hope she gets to do cartwheels on stage like she wants’

‘I love Jennie because of her special friendship with Yoongi. They’re like Yin and Yan’

‘I love Jennie because of how much she cares for her fans and members.’

‘I love Jennie because of how supportive she is and how she always yells, “THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!” to Jungkook.’

‘I love Jennie because of how good her guitar skills are’

‘I love Jennie because she represents my ideal type’

‘I love Jennie because her friendship with Jungkook is goals. I wish I had her as a friend.’

‘I love Jennie because her laugh is infectious‘

‘I love Jennie because of how outgoing she is and she makes it seem like a breeze to talk to new people.’

‘I love Jennie because she’s BAE and seeing her happy makes my day a lot better’

‘I love Jennie because she’s humble and down to earth.’

‘I love Jennie because I know she has a lot of surprise talents up her sleeve as a Member of BTS and I can’t wait to see it. Falsetto? DJing?’

‘I love Jennie because of her friendship with Amber. They’re like twins!’

‘I love Jennie because she spoke out about being white washed and wanted to embrace her natural skin color. Show off that chocolate!’

‘I love Jennie because of her stunning visuals that are highly underappreciated’

‘I love Jennie because she’s the one with the curls representing the girls!’

‘Every BTS member is needed and talented! They each bring something unique to the group. #WeLoveYouJennie’

‘This is despicable. Social media should be fun, not hateful. Leave Jennie alone. #WeLoveYouJennie’

‘Jennie got me into K-Pop. As soon as I saw an African American in the K-Pop industry, I was skeptical but proved wrong by her efforts.’

‘She may not look like your average kpop idol based on beauty standards in Korea, but she’s certainly one of the prettiest girls I’ve seen.’

‘Whoever calls this precious munchkin ugly needs to get their eyes checked. #WeLoveYouJennie’

Angelina tweets, ‘You deserve so much more, sis. Stay strong. I love you. #WeLoveYouJennie’

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Jen felt herself regain consciousness. But she couldn’t open her eyes because her eyelids felt heavy, due to lack of sleep. She could hear the beeping noise, figuring that she was in the hospital. She mentally scolded herself for ending up here and the fact that she didn’t take better care of herself.

She already knew once she was able to move, she would feel just how bad her headache was thanks to hitting her head on the dance floor.

“Can you hear me?” She heard a deep voice next to her.

‘Yeah, I hear you Namjoon.’

“Ah...I started thinking. About our first moments together. Remember when you thought I hated you? You were intimated by me and my sunglasses.” He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head.

‘Oh God...’ She mentally groaned. ‘I’m kind of glad you don’t wear them anymore.’

----

“A girl in the group?!” Namjoon questioned in disbelief, unable to hide his frustration. “So, we have to wait longer?” He clenched his fists. He was seated with Bang PD when he broke the news to him.

It aggravated him.

He was already waiting so long to debut and now he had to wait longer because a girl was joining? Honestly, Namjoon wasn’t happy with the idea at first, mainly because he was so impatient and eager to debut, that he didn’t want to wait any longer because of another new member.

Bang PD had explained his reasons for making BTS a Coed group instead and he respected his wishes. Bang PD informed him to go to the audition in a few weeks to watch the girls perform, to observe them himself and to pick out who he thought would be the best as the Bangtan Girl. He was the leader after all.

When the audition day came, Namjoon walked in with an eager Taehyung who wanted to tag along to see this “Ennie.” person at the audition. His eyes, covered with his sunglasses, examined each girl who was auditioning until his eyes went to Jennie.

An interesting outfit choice, he thought as he checked out the Nike brand she wore. He guessed that maybe Nikes were her favorite since she showed it off a lot. Namjoon somewhat admired the effort of looking the part.

He watched with interest as the ladies performed the Bulletproof choreography. Each of the girls seemed to have the energy but some stood out more than others. Namjoon had his head down, listening to each of the girls’ verses when they had to perform their custom verse for Bulletproof.

Badda bing badda boom

Jennie’s here

I have no fear...so don’t try to stop me. Hah!

Tellin’ me your doubts...won’t change my mind

Jennie’s sudden rapping and passion in her voice, caused Namjoon to slowly look up at whose voice it belonged to as he continued to watch her with interest. Taehyung danced and nodded his head to her verse with a big smile on his face.

After she was done, everyone applauded her, as Namjoon nodded in approval, clapping himself. She had the potential as a rapper, although it was extremely clear that she was more of a singer. If she was interested and willing to learn, he was confident that Yoongi could transfigure her into a triple threat.

“Isn’t she awesome?” Tae commented with a boxy grin.

“You’ve met her before?”

“Yeah. That’s Ennie! Well, her name is Jennifer. She used to be a part of this group in America. But she left. She doesn’t like to talk about it. So, I leave the conversation alone. She’s very nice. I hope she’s Miss Bangtan. I love being around her.”

‘Jennifer, huh?’ He thought.

---

"MEET THE NEWEST MEMBER OF BTS! THE BANGTAN GIRL! JENNIE IS HERE!” 

Taehyung’s yell was heard at the entrance of the dorm as yells and happy screams of excitement were heard from the other members. Namjoon couldn’t help but smile.

As the dance practices went by, Jennie noticed Namjoon watching her closely and decided to have a chat with him after practice, alone. He doesn’t speak with her as much as she does with the other members. And she felt a weird vibe with him.

“I’m just going to say it. Do you hate me or something?”

Taken aback at her sudden question, Namjoon raised a brow. “What gave this reasoning?”

“Can you take your glasses off?” She requested and he took them off, looking at her in the eyes. “I just get this vibe and I’m wondering if I did something wrong.”

He let out a sigh and decided to say what was on his mind since she became Miss Bangtan. “I don’t hate you. I’m just very passionate about this. I dunno a lot about you. But from what I’ve heard, you left one group. I’ve been waiting a long time for BTS to debut. Members had come and go. Are you going to leave this one?”

Holding his stare with serious eyes, she replied committedly, “No. I won’t leave. And I’m not leaving. I know it was tough waiting to debut and all but I’m not going to back out, no matter how long the wait will be. I won’t come and go like the others. I’m here to stay, I’m here to work hard, and I’m here to grow a bond with you and the rest of the members. I want to grow with you guys.”

He took her words in and nodded. “I apologize if I gave you the intention of hating you. I don’t hate you, Jen.” 

She smiled and nodded. “Y’know, you’re kind of intimidating with the shades.” They share a laugh. “But you’re a chill guy and I admire your passion for this group and I hope that I can live up to the expectations. My body is always aching after every dance practice. This company has made me go to lengths I have never gone before and my body isn’t used to it yet. But don’t slow down because I’ll catch up. The pain, it’s worth it.”

And after their debut, Jen had pulled Namjoon to the side, wrapping her arms around him for a tight hug. “Thank you for not giving up on me and supporting me. You’re the best leader I could ever ask for.”

-----

“Thanks for not giving up on me as your leader. I know back in America, your leader was rough, but I’m happy that you’re happy here. You’ve grown a lot since our debut. I just really hope you take it easy next time. Go at your pace. Like you’ve been doing since you got here. The body can’t run 24/7 Jen. You gotta rest. We’ll be fine for our next comeback.” Namjoon patted her hand and stood up from the chair that was next to her hospital bed.

‘Namjoon...don’t make me cry, I don’t need this right now.’

“Sweetie?”

‘Mom...?’

“Can you hear me, sweetheart?”

‘Yes.’

“It’s Jin.”

‘Ha, thought it was my mom for a second...’

When Jin saw Jen fall to the floor, his parental instincts popped in as he went on the floor to help her. He was so worried for her wellbeing. He hadn’t expected her to drop down like that. He had a feeling she didn’t eat any breakfast because there were no dishes in the sink that day. She would usually eat her favorite brand of cereal that was shipped to her from America.

Honestly, when Namjoon and V informed him that BTS would have a girl in the group, Jin was all for it, already making plans to protect her and act like a parent. Although his parenting ways drove Jen bonkers, she knew he just cared deeply. 

While Jimin tweeted about Jennie being OK and resting in the hospital, Jin began to ponder about the time he helped her with her period.

-----

He heard noise from the laundry room and knew it was Jennie because of the pitch of her voice. He woke up early, planning on making breakfast for the dorm but couldn’t help but ponder if everything was okay with her.

“What am I gonna do-what am I gonna do-what am I gonna do!?” He heard her cry out in a hushed voice. Worried, he walked into the laundry room to see her fumbling with blood stained sheets as his nerves calmed down.

Period.

Nothing bad, thankfully.

“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” His deep voice startled her as she dropped the bloody bed sheets, turning around to face him anxiously. 

He knew she was embarrassed but she had no reason to be. He knew all about situations like this, he was in his 20s after all. He had this urge to parent her. He can only imagine being so far away from your family members.

Sure, he’s busy and doesn’t see his family often but at least he’s still in the same country. But with Jennie, he pondered how much of an emotional toll it sprung on her, being miles away, in another country. He wanted her to feel at home like her parents were still with her. So, he took on the motherly role, while Namjoon went on with the fatherly role. But then it soon became a habit, considering he was the oldest.

-----

The main thing Jin was worried about Jennie and even Jungkook was that they were both growing up too fast for his liking. What made him come to that reality was when the two of them performed for War of Hormone. That was just too adult. And it was probably going to get worse as they got older.

He just...wasn’t ready. When Jen gets a boyfriend and Jungkook gets a girlfriend, he hasn’t even thought of his reaction when he finds out. It seemed like just yesterday that she came in, with Taehyung in their dorm as she introduced herself.

“You, my preciousness, are growing up a little too fast for my liking,” Jin murmured as he placed a hand on her head.

‘Am I now? I’m not looking forward to your future freakouts.’ She thought with amusement.

“But I enjoy watching you grow into a young lady. Although the dancing can be kept at a TV-Y7...” He trailed off.

‘WOW, Jin...’

“Are you really scolding her while she’s asleep?” Yoongi grumbled.

“Jin, leave her alone.” Jimin groaned.

“What? I’m just...parenting.” Jin got up from his seat.

While the Hyung line went to get food, Taehyung checked on Jennie, as he let out a shaky, deep breath.

‘Taehyung...I can notice that deep voice anywhere. Have you been crying?’

He had been crying since she dropped to the floor. It killed him to see her like that, and it was something he hoped he would never have to see again. The only sight he wanted to see was her smiling and being happy. That was it. 

Tae could remember his meeting with her like it was yesterday. And ever since that day, he always thought of her as a little sister.

-----

He had just finished practicing in one of the dance studios where he noticed her, packing up her bag. He had never seen her before and assumed she was one of the new trainees.

She didn’t look Asian and had colored skin so he assumed that she was from another country as well. Being the eager, talkative person he was, he decided to make his way to her, with a boxy grin on his face.

“Hello~!” He happily greeted and she turned around to face him. Her hair was a big, puffy mess, thanks to the perspiration and exhaustion that was clearly shown on her face since she spent hours practicing. But her warm smile, caused him to grin even wider.

“H-hi! Are you talking to me?”

English, so was she from America?

Taehyung decided to go with his gut and his broken English skills to ask her if she was American. Despite his efforts to speak in English, she switched to Korean so he could communicate with her more comfortably.

He was astonished that she was training to be the Bangtan Girl and her positive interest in finding out that he’s a secret member of BTS, made him even happier. He was looking forward to BTS getting a female member and had secretly hoped that Jen would be the one.

They were inseparable after their first meeting, and the more they got to know each other, the more Taehyung hoped for her to get that Bangtan Girl spot. If another girl had gotten it, would he ever see her again? And if the BTS schedule starts to get fuller, would he even have time to keep in touch?

He didn’t want to lose a precious friendship such as this that he had with her.

As they both were secret members, before debuting, their friendship grew since they were forced to stay out of the Vlogs and other BTS videos. It made them upset that they had to stay on the sidelines while the rest of the members did their thing. Tae would often vent to her about how he

felt about it and she would always listen.

“I always wanted a brother. It’s just me and my two older sisters. It’s nice to be around girls but there are times where I wished what it would be like to be a sister to a guy.” Jennie had revealed to him as they lay in her bed, watching cartoons on her laptop.

A deep chuckle escaped Taehyung as he turned to her. “You already have brothers.”

“Huh?”

“Seven of them, actually.” He went on, looking at her in the eyes with a small smile. “We may not be related by blood but we’ll never leave your side. Sorry to tell you this, but, you’re stuck with us.” He giggled as he wrapped his arms around her, cheek to cheek, squeezing her tightly as she groaned at the pressure.

“Oh boy, what am I getting myself into?” She laughed with him.

------

“Please get better quickly,” Tae spoke up with sadness in his voice.

She hated it when he was upset. It was rare because he would always goof around. To hear him so sad, hurt her heart.

She soon heard another voice on her other side.

“Ennie. Do you understand how sad you make me feel when you’re like this?” Jimin asked. 

‘Sorry Chim.’

When he found out that they were getting a girl member, he was interested in the idea. When he met Jennie, he was drawn to her friendliness and was always eager to speak with her. Sure, he

would often tease her, pretending that they were a couple, promoting JenMin, but that was just part of who he was.

-----

He would like to steal her away since she would hang around the rest of his hyungs. So, one morning, he snuck into her room, diving right on top of her as she groaned under the covers, waking up immediately. 

“Get up~! We’re spending the day together!” He shouted as he snuggled into her.

“Let me sleep!” She yelled against her pillow.

“You’re usually up early! It’s morning! Rise and shine!”

“I stayed up late working with Yoongi.”

“Come on, get ready! Take a shower so we can hang out today! I’m tired of Yoongi hogging you, where’s our time together?” He moved off her so she could sit up.

“All right, all right.”

“You’re too slow.” He picked her up over his shoulder and placed her in her bathtub. As soon as he turned on the shower, she yelped at the sudden cold water, splashing on her skin.

“Jimin! You outta pocket!”

He giggled and ran out of the bathroom. He thought he should tick her off more often just for fun because her reactions would make his day.

-----

Backstage as they were shooting around the Red Bullet tour, Jimin decided to mess with the members with a camera. Jen tried to take a nap while sitting in one of the black chairs. She heard Jimin making these sound effects that Hobi would say and she opened her eyes to watch him mess with Hobi.

“Oh boy.” She let out a chuckle as she tried to go back to sleep. 

Soon after, she became the next victim, hearing his sound effects right by her as he started putting his fingers under her chin and on her neck. Ticklish, she let out a laugh but ended up snorting.

The sound of her snort gained the attention of the Maknae line and they all ended up laughing at her. It was rare that she would snort while laughing. And it just happened to be in front of the camera Jimin was holding.

“Oh my God, you got that on camera!?” She shouted in her native tongue, covering her mouth as she felt her face heat up. “Delete that! Oh my God, Jimin! Please! Delete that jawn now!"

Soon after her embarrassment died down, she went back to napping while Tae and Jimin began to DJ on Tae’s tablet. It looked like they were using an app. She had the sudden urge to play on it herself but ignored it.

“Jennie! Are you ready!?” Jimin started playing around with the tablet as he went over to dance in front of her, stepping over her and standing over her legs as her feet rested on a chair.

“Why did you come to me?” She laughed, trying to push him away.

“Show us your DJing!” Tae offered.

“As tempting as that may sound, I’m not ready to show it yet. But use the beat on that side while pressing those three buttons. It’ll give it a better beat. It’s a little of key.” She pointed it out. 

When they followed her instructions, they began to jam out to the beat, and the two of them began to dance around her.

“Boy, if you don’t get off me! I didn’t ask for a lap dance!” She lightly punched them in their stomachs as they laughed it off.

-----

“Don’t be discouraged, Ennie. You’re going to be just fine in BTS. Smile, live and don’t overwork yourself. I believe we have a bright future. All eight of us.” Jimin said with a smile.

“Ah, smartie. You’re stubborn as hell.” Yoongi watched her sleep.

He wasn’t a big fan of having a girl in the group at first. He thought it should’ve just been an all boy group and an all girl group if Bang PD was striving for that vision. He began to embrace the idea as he heard Taehyung speak highly of the girls who auditioned and Namjoon’s impression of the ladies.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

When he met her, he was genuinely surprised she was a foreigner, but he still accepted her just like the others. He watched her keep up with the intense pace of Mr.Son’s choreography and the dedication to making sure their debut was top notch. He admired her effort.

He knew for a long time that she wanted to learn more about rapping. The way she would watch him in admiration as he rapped, to the glances whenever someone spoke of rapping, he knew. He just waited for her to speak up. He watched the Rookie King episodes, he saw her confession about her admiration for him. He was flattered and made him feel joyful that someone was just as passionate about what he does.

Although he didn’t say thank you enough for the kind gestures, he was always appreciative.

-----

Back in the studio, Jen had found Yoongi asleep in the studio by his computer with headphones on his ears. They were supposed to have a rap session but she saw how exhausted he was and decided to gently wake him up.

“H-hey you’ll get a cramp. It’s not pleasant. Migrate to the couch.” She helped him move. 

As laid his back on the couch, she placed a blanket on him. She went to his chair and tried to work on the rap he told her to do for homework and found herself falling asleep after an hour.

When Yoongi woke up, he pondered how he got on the couch until he saw Jen asleep. 

“This girl.” He shook his head, amused as he stretched and approached her. “Smartie, you’re going to get a cramp.”

“Five minutes pop pop...” He heard her mumble

Smirking with amusement, he easily picked her up and placed her on the couch, throwing the blanket on her as she slept comfortably. He went back to work, putting his headphones in, periodically glancing back at her sleeping.

Yoongi even remembered when she was the first to notice how in pain he was because of his appendix rupturing.

“No, you’re in pain.” She declared.

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, you won’t be at all if you don’t check it out. Something is wrong. You should get it checked out.”

Although she annoyed him with the constant questioning, he ended up speaking up about it and was flown back to Korea to go to the hospital for surgery. She wanted to come with him but was advised that he would be okay and to just focus on promotions.

-----

“I never thanked you, did I? Thanks for reacting so quickly. I hope you know that I’m still waiting for you to DJ for me. I haven’t forgotten. Do I have to write on your face to make you show me your skills live?”

‘Gee, you are persistent.’

“Oh stop bothering her about that. She’ll show you when she’s ready.” Hobi commented.

Hobi was always driving Jen nuts with his usual, loud sound efforts. There were times when she would place her hands over his shoulders and stare at him straight in the eye, asking, “What-is the matter with you!?”

It took him a while to open up to the idea of yet another member joining the group, but once he met her, he was thrilled and hoped that she could handle the intensity of their dances.

------

He remembered the goofy day when the members were Nay-Naying. Jen stood by as the camera filmed Jimin and Tae bumping into each other.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

Jen ended up laughing so loud, she held onto Hobi, who laughed with her.

“Jennie! We gotta retake it!” Jimin whined.

“I’m sorry! It was funny!” She exclaimed.

They took the video again, successfully as Jungkook joined in, walking into the camera frame, glancing at the both of them.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

Jin walked up to the three of them next.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

Soon after it was Hobi’s turn.

“YYAAAHHHH!”

“Hol’ up, hol’ up!” She raised a hand up in the air, walking towards them, standing in the middle.

She glanced at each member with a serious expression before leaning back with them to do the Nay Nay once again.

“YAHHHHHHH!”

She fell to the floor, unable to control her laughter while the rest goofed around. As they regrouped, they danced once more as Jungkook stood there, amused.

“YYAAAHHHH!”

She heard Hobi shout, “WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!”

“YAAHHHHHH!”

Sounds of laughter filled Jen’s ears and everyone turned their attention to Yoongi who ran up to them.

“Yah~!” He said in a deep voice as he Nay Nayed. Everyone laughed at his actions as Jungkook fell to the floor and Jen started crying because the laughter was too much.

Hobi even remembered, that a week ago, Jen wanted to begin a prank war in the dorm and wanted Hobi to help her plan things out.

“Who do you want to get first?” He asked her as he sat on her bed.

“I know it’s risky but...I want Yoongi to be the first one. I have a prank up my sleeve. I want to do the smack cam on him. Have maybe whipped cream and smack the shit out of him.” She laughed.

“Jennie, I really don’t want you to die at this young age.”

“Ah, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“We shall soon find out.”

Hobi had anticipated when she could get back on her feet so they could begin the pranking. Watching Yoongi’s reaction was going to be horrifying, yet intriguing to see.

-----

As it was nighttime with the members were asleep Jen felt herself falling asleep until she felt a big, warm hand take hold of one of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

'I know that hand...is it you Kookie?'

“Can you hear me?” She heard Jungkook ask quietly.

‘Yes.’

“You really don’t know how much you’re loved, do you?” She heard him let out a soft chuckle.

“No matter what hate you get, the love people have for you will always conquer. Never forget that.”

‘I won’t Kookie...thank you.’

When he saw her fall, he felt helpless as he watched Namjoon and Jin rush up to her first. He just stood there, unable to move. He was absolutely devastated. He had wished that he could’ve done more instead of freezing up like that.

-----

Back when he found out that there would be a girl in the group, he was nervous. He was already shy enough around girls and now there would be one in the group? He wasn’t all for the idea but remained quiet. He hoped that he would not be nervous and manage to speak with her.

When he first saw her as the new member, he thought she was pretty and outgoing based on how she talked to the members when she introduced herself. He had remained quiet as she lived in the dorm but she soon started to notice.

“Hey! You okay?” She asked him one day at the dorm, in the room he stayed in. Her sudden question made him stare at her in bewilderment, before he shyly looked down, remaining silent.

“Ah, I guess you’re shy. Well, I hope you know that I’m gonna keep talking to you until you speak to me.” She teased.

As she looked around his side of the room, she noticed a variety of Iron Man merch. “You like Iron Man?”

Her question made his eyes light up as he finally looked at her in the eyes. 

He smiled softly and gave a timid nod. “Best superhero there is.”

“Really? You know, I actually haven’t seen the movies.” She shrugged as he stared at her and shook his head.

How!?

“Are you kidding me? You haven’t lived!” He exclaimed as he felt himself opening up to her more.

“Oh really? Well, you wanna watch the movies together? You can give me a rundown on who is who and what’s going on.”

“Yeah!”

She smiled at his enthusiasm. She was delighted that she found something he could passionately talk to her about, despite the shyness. “I can pull it up on my laptop-“

“No need, I got them here. Let’s go to the living room.” He happily rushed out of the room as she let out a laugh at his eagerness.

Soon after that, their conversations began to consist of Iron Man, video games and they even began to talk about America.

“You been to America, right?”

“I went there to learn how to dance.” He murmured as he told her about how he wanted to go to the beach.

“One day, when we go back to America, we gotta walk around the beach together. Go swimming. It’s amazing there when the sun is set. You’ll love it. I can’t really explain it but once you’re there, you’ll enjoy it.”

-----

“You haven’t forgotten that, right? We were gonna walk on the beach the next time we go to America? We couldn’t do it when we filmed American Hustle Life, but the next time, we just gotta. I always wanted to walk on the beach with you-” He paused and shook his head. “I don’t know why I got so brave suddenly.”

‘Ha. I haven’t forgotten, Kook.’ She thought as she felt herself dozing off. 

Jungkook glanced at the friendship ring as he remembered when he first got it.

---

He had found himself at a jewelry store, asking for custom made rings. He didn’t know how he did it but he went to measure her finger while she was asleep, so he could get the right size. He felt some sort of jealousy at how close she was getting with the other members but he wanted to be her best friend, so why not seal the deal with friendship rings?

He did feel childish for doing such an act, but he had hoped that their friendship would grow stronger because he always felt at ease when she was around.

“For a special lady? Girlfriend? Future girlfriend?” The lady behind the counter teased with a bright smile. Jungkook’s face had gotten so red, she thought he had an allergic reaction to something.

He was so nervous when he revealed the rings to her. But when she hugged him so tightly, he knew. 

Something about her just made him always grin so hard that his face would hurt.

-----

“There’s something I always wanted to tell you...” He let out a breath. He paused for a few moments before shaking his head. “Ah, never mind. It’s not the right time. But I’ll tell you one day.”

The next morning, Jen finally fluttered her eyes as they slowly started to open. Her eyes adjusted as her surroundings began to clear up. As she moved her head, she let out a sharp hiss, immediately holding her head. Her body felt less tired thanks to the rest as she noticed the guys sleeping around the hospital room.

Most were on the floor. It was a cute sight. Yoongi was knocked out on the floor, Jimin and Taehyung cuddled up together and Namjoon was snoring loudly with his mouth wide open. She pondered how she was able to sleep through it as she suppressed a laugh. Jin and Hobi were asleep in chairs.

She slowly turned her head to see Jungkook resting his head on her bed, sound asleep in a chair.

“Kook?” She reached out and placed her hand on his head. She felt him stir and open his eyes.

When he finally saw that she was awake, he jumped out of his seat, launching himself into her for a big hug. He held her tightly as she let out a weak laugh while she heard him trying not to cry.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. No crying.” She murmured softly as she hugged him back.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.” She heard him. “You have no idea how worried I was about you. You scared the heck out of me.”

“I’m sorry I worried you.”

They stay like that for a moment, until he finally pulled away, taking a good look at her. A huge grin came across his face. “Hyungs! Hyungs! She’s awake!” He said, jumping all around to get them to wake up.

“YAY! SHE’S AWAKE!” She heard some of them scream.

“Ow!” She hissed. “Not so loud, I’m kind of sensitive to sound, right now.” She rubbed her temples.

“You see what you do!? Why would you scream, you know she has a concussion!” Jin scolded the boys, going on a full lecture while Namjoon managed to escape, to go get the doctor.

It was good to be awake and be surrounded by them.

She’ll never let this happen to her again.

After a few days, Jen was back on her bed, in the dorm. She talked with Bang PD as she thought about their conversation.

“I want you to rest for a full week. No activity, just rest. And we’ll see how you do after that. If you need more rest, we’ll just wait before filming for the next comeback.” He told her.

“But our comeback is coming up very soon.”

“And BTS’ health is more important. I refuse to have you work in this state.”

She followed his orders and was grateful that he was so focused on her taking it easy. He even planned to take legal action against the malicious comments. Her thoughts were interrupted when Hobi slammed a huge pack of water on her bed. 

“Really?” She looked up from her phone.

“Gotta stay hydrated! How was your nap?” He smiled sweetly and placed a hand on top of her head affectionately.

“It was refreshing.”

“Good. I’m off to dance practice. Do you need anything before I go?”

“Smarties?”

“I’m always prepared.” He handed her a couple of rolls from his jacket.

Once he left, she opened the pack of water bottles and began to drink one as she went on her phone to watch some YouTube videos. Curious, she decided to research BTS Jennie, and came across JRE’s video.

So now you ganging up on my girl Jennie? | REALLY NOW

She had seen a few of his videos and thought he was hilarious, from his body rolling to his K-Pop passion, so she decided to check out the video, to see what he had to say.

“Really now? Antis are now targeting Jennie? Jennie? My Jennie? Our sweet, beautiful Miss Bangtan? Oh, now we have a problem. Now you guys know that I love me some Jennie from BTS.”

Jennie couldn’t help but laugh at the video cuts of his reactions to her from music videos, to her live performances.

As the clip showed him reacting to War of Hormone live, he was body rolling, “Get it, Jennie! Get yo’ lines!” His eyes widened in shock as he saw how close she was getting to Jungkook. “Okay! Okay! Well damn!”

And once he heard her sing, ‘I could turn you into a man’. He paused the video and stared at the camera, laughing. “Hol’ up, hol’ up, did she just-did she just say, wait a minute.”

Jen continued to laugh at his reaction as she couldn’t help but smile when he said, “Jennie and Jungkook have some strong chemistry. If I didn’t know any better, I would suggest they could be dating or something. Troublemaker vibes.”

“Dating, huh?” She suddenly pondered. Before she could think further, she got a notification from Jin as she went to her messages.

Jin: Did you eat? [2:22 PM]

Jen: Yes, Jin [2:22 PM]

Jin: Good. Eat more. [2:22 PM]

Jen: ????? [2:23 PM]

Not even a minute later, Yoongi had messaged her.

Yoongi: Hey Smartie [2:23PM]

Jen: Hey, what’s up? [2:24PM]

Yoongi: Just checking on you. You ate today, right? [2:24PM]

Jen: Yes I did, thanks for checking in. :) [2:24 PM]

As the video went back to the present, he discussed how he saw rumors on Twitter that she didn’t even want to go through with the War of Hormone dance with Jungkook anymore because of the Antis. He showed his disappointment since he enjoyed watching them perform together. How their voices complemented each other and how in sync their bodies move with each other.

Jen was honestly impressed at fans’ accurate assumptions about her not wanting to dance anymore. But now that she was back in her room, relaxed, she did miss it. She shouldn’t let others take the fun out of what she likes to do. She made a mental note to talk to Jungkook about it and let Mr.Son know. She guaranteed they would both be thrilled to know she wanted to dance again for War of Hormone.

Her phone buzzed once more as she stopped the video to read the message.

Namjoon: You had a big meal today, right? If not, let’s go out for lunch [2:27 PM]

Jen: I ate lunch already. I had noodles [2:28 PM]

Namjoon: How big was the bowl? [2:28 PM]

Jen: Uhh average size? [2:28 PM]

Namjoon: Are you still hungry? [2:28 PM]

Jen: Well I mean I could eat some more [2:28 PM]

Namjoon: I’m bringing pizza. Hang tight [2:28 PM]

Jen: Uh, okay? [2:29 PM]

Pressing the YouTube app, she attempted to press play but Hobi ended up texting her next.

Hobi: Jennie! [2:29 PM]

Jen: What!? [2:29 PM]

Hobi: Did you eat??? [2:29 PM]

Jen: Yes, jeesh. [2:29 PM]

Turning back to the video, she pressed play.

“I’ve tried not to make a video about this but now it’s to the fact that I feel so sorry for her getting hated on and it just frustrates me. I haven’t met Jennie yet, but I hope I can soon, maybe if BTS goes back to K-Con or something but from what I’ve seen, she’s a sweetheart. Ridiculously sweet to her fans, and even takes the most time for fan service.”

She was touched at how passionately he spoke of her as she watched him go on, “And to come at her, for her skin color, for her not looking like your typical K-Pop idol, is sad and ridiculous. This girl has made history for being an African American in a K-Pop group and she has done so well for herself as a member of BTS. Her Korean is good, she didn’t come to Korea without knowing anything. She came there prepared. So, what is the problem?”

“Now the poor girl overworked herself and is in the hospital right now because of all that pressure. Now I know she’s young, she’s miles away from her family in America, she’s in Korea, they’re in America, that’s already pressure right there, being away from family. And now this? People find the pettiest things to complain about this girl. It’s like she can never win. Leave my girl alone. I need my Jennie Protection Squad because if you go after my girl, you have a problem with me. I heard she’s still learning how to rap from Suga. I hope she ends up being in a Cypher or something to slay all y’all hatin’ asses. I cannot wait for that day to come.”

Jen smirked at his suggestion. That would be nice but she had a long way to go. She went to his Instagram to follow him and went under the photo that promoted his recent, Really Now video to comment.

‘You are so dope! Thank you. I hope to meet you someday, too.’ she typed which instantly started getting traction from fans.

‘SHE NOTICED YOU!!’ Fans would comment soon after.

‘She followed him too! OMG!’

Another ding was heard as she went to her messages.

Jungkook: Did you eat? [2:49 PM]

“Did they plan this?” She asked with amusement. 

Are they all going to ask her if she ate today?

Jen: OMG, why is everyone asking me this? Lol. [2:49 PM]

Jungkook: Everyone?? MAN! I wanted to be the first one to ask you!! [2:50 PM]

Jen: Lol, thanks for caring. [2:50 PM]

She let out a chuckle when she read Jimin’s message.

Jimin: Ennie how are you doing? [2:50 PM]

Jen: I’m great. I ate today if that’s what you’re about to ask. Just finished talking to Jungkook. [2:51 PM]

Jimin: WHY AM I ALWAYS LATE!? I WAS BORN BEFORE HIM! [2:51 PM]

Jen: I dunno man. I don’t know lol [2:51 PM]

After a few minutes of liking various photos on Instagram, her phone buzzed once more.

Taehyung: Jennie! [2:55 PM]

Jen: Yes, Tae. I ate :) [2:55 PM]

Taehyung: WHO BEAT ME TO IT!? [2:55 PM]

[battybriefs]

Remember kids, it's only grooming when it's gay.

But for real heres personal story time. Let's talk about actual grooming.

I grew up in the Mormon church in the 90s and early 2000s. Like a good child, I participated in all the church activities including the young women's program. My parents wanted me to do it, i was told the church leaders were good people so I didnt question anything.

While the guys in the boyscouts and young mens program were learning survival skills, learning woodworking, learning how to fix cars, and learning financial literacy ... we were learning to do our makeup, can food, bake bread, sew clothes, cook large meals, and learn about changing diapers. It was hammered in our heads from a young age that our entire purpose in life was to get married, serve the husband, have kids and raise a family.

I remember when I was a Beehive, around 13 or 14, our ward was invited to participate in a fashion show for one of the local bridal stores. They dressed all the young women up, did our makeup and hair, put us in wedding dresses, and invited all the men in the ward to come watch us runway walk in the cultural hall. I was a literal child. I didnt even have tıts yet. Men in their 60s and 70s in our ward came to watch us parade around in our little wedding gowns. That's straight up a pedopagent and grooming child brides, y'all, and I didn't even realize it because things like that were so normalized in the church.

I remember sitting in the bishops office interviewing for my first temple reccomend so I could participate in the young women's activity to do baptisms for the dead. He asks me if I live by the laws of chastity. I was young, naive, sheltered and didn't even know what the word chastity meant. I remember him aggressively, explicitly asking me questions about my virginity- had I ever kissed a boy, touched a boy, thought about a boy, touched myself, touched a girl, thought about a girl, felt tingly down there, had a hymen. He kept asking me over and over if I was sure about my answers, and would elaborate on what he meant like he was fishing for a specific answer. It felt so dirty and invasive. In hind sight it felt more like he was trying to get spank bank material than trying to find out if I was being a "good girl".

Fast forward a few years. Im in Junior High, probably about 15 years old. I'm a closeted homo sitting next to my girlfriend in church, trying my damndest to hold my tongue and not let people catch on that I was crying. The young woman's lesson was about a woman's worth.

They opened up by talking about how we're getting old enough to go to college in a few years and that that's great, but a career and college education should be a hobby and not a goal. They stressed that we shouldn't put our educations and careers as a priority over finding a man, getting married in the temple, and starting a family. They said as soon as we found a man, we needed to drop out and become stay at home mothers. It was the mans duty to provide for the family. We were told that the reason God sent women to this earth to serve men and raise families, and that it was a divine and sacred calling.

The second half was about how lesbians and gay people were sent by the devil to destroy families. We were told if we "struggled with same sex attraction" we needed to pray, repent and try harder to be straight. That we needed to tell the bishop so they could help us get gay conversion therapy. That even if we liked girls, we needed to find a man to marry and bear his children. They actively encouraged gay men and women to catfish straight partners and trick them into thinking you loved them with the purpose of bearing children. Can you imagine how fucking awful it would be to fall in love and marry a person thinking they felt the same way, only to find out they're gay and living a lie so they don't go to hell?

The church advocating "its ok to be gay but you have to be celibate and single for the rest of your life" was a change the church made a few years later when Prop 8 passed and their members started leaving in hoards.

Meanwhile I've been to drag shows since I was in high-school. It's just a bunch of people with great makeup skills doing lavish impressions of Lady Gaga and Freddy Mercury.

Why is a drag show considered grooming but telling actual children that theyre going to be mommies and daddies when they grow up not? Why is it grooming if a trans person is out in public doing something mundane like grocery shopping, but it isn't grooming watching television shows that has love triangle plotlines that revolve around teenagers making out and exploring their sexuality? Why is it grooming when a children's show has a character with two daddies but not grooming when the children's show character has a mom and a dad?

If people really give a shit about grooming, they need to start in their own backyard. Start by deconstructing straight representation in media. Start by asking why its ok to joke that a toddler is going to be a ladies man when he grows up. Start by asking why child beauty pagents even exist. Start by looking at how your religion teaches and enforces sexuality. Start with comprehensive and age appropriate lessons about the human body and consent with little Suzy so when uncle Bob is being inappropriate at the family reunion she has the knowlege and tools to know whats going on, to assert her boundaries, and the confidence to tell another grownup what's going on.

[strawb3rryshake]

(taking a break from my usual posts to talk about percy weasley because he’s underrated and over-hated.)

This was a kid who was so set in his goals since day one. He knew what he wanted to do and what he wanted to be. Yes, he came off as pompous and self-important, but tbh he was simply goal oriented and manifesting his dream. He wanted to work in the Ministry and be someone who was wealthy, respected, and (this is the important one) his own person. He grew up in a household that, yes, was comforting and supportive and healthier than so many of the families showcased in Harry Potter. But it was also cramped and lacking financial stability. Percy wanted stability in his life. He wanted people to stop lumping him in with his family because he was “just another Weasley.” He wanted to be independent from his circumstances and make a name for himself, not letting his family situation get in the way of his goals.

Did he go about this the wrong way? Yes, yes he did. He was working in the ministry, he was finally working towards what he wanted his life to be, but then he was torn. Torn between his family and his years of hard work. While many would say the obvious answer would be family above all, not everyone can agree with that statement so easily. Not someone as ambitious, determined, and goal-oriented as Percy. So, facing pressure (and likely ridicule) from the two things most important to him, he was done. He did the only thing that he thought he was able to do: cutting ties with his family and setting his priorities straight.

At this point, he only had one thing supporting him, and that was his loyalty to the ministry. It was the only thing keeping him rooted. So when the truth came out that hey, the Ministry was actually wrong, Percy couldn’t just run back to his family crying. Call it stubbornness or call it pride, but he couldn’t go back on the decision he made. He couldn’t be wrong, not when his entire life revolved around his goals. He couldn’t just go back on the only thing keeping him going.

In the end, Percy learned the importance of family, and right when they needed him most, too. He learned that it’s okay to not always be right, it’s okay to admit mistakes or admit defeat. He found a way to balance the important things in his life. He grew as a person. I think that’s what most like to forget about Percy’s character development.

Stop hating on the kid who just wanted to see his dreams come to fruition. Stop hating on the kid who made a mistake and learned his lesson the hard way. Stop hating on the kid who loved his family and came back to them.

[dandelionsprout42]

Travel blog summary from the French riviera

Værnes-Schiphol-Nice. As with most trips I do every 2 years on average, it got weird. But this was the weirdest one by far, mostly due to Schiphol being the worst airport known to exist.

The one open café at Værnes at 05:15:

Near the end of the Schiphol-Nice trip, the Swiss-French Alps. Ironically I had tried to get away from snow when I headed south. 😓

And the blue riviera sea is every bit as beautiful as they say:

Once we landed, things went to absolute hell very fast:

The moronic imbeciles at Schiphol had forgot to load ANYONE'S transit luggage on the flight, so everyone had their luggage missing. Supposedly the luggage would instead be carried on their next Schiphol-Nice flight 5 hours later, which I didn't really have time for, and I didn't trust that time estimate either.

So I sat there in the baggage pickup room for 5½ hours out of complete spite and beef, with no food places in sight, just to see if I'd get to see the luggage with my own 2 eyes when the time came. This was my view for most of those hours:

Even with the luggage acquired after a while and eating a salad bar, it was less than 2 hours until sunset. So everything between the salad bar eating and the following 24 hours? The less that is said, the better. T r u s t m e o n t h a t . That entire timespan's events will likely traumatise me for the rest of my life.

This alleged bolognese takeaway didn't help either. The meat was freaking pink. How.

The hotel room's bathroom had no leanings or drains, so the water began going into the bedroom. They also clearly hadn't washed the floor often.

My private secretary (1,300km away) did after some 22 hours give me a rudimentary desire to go to a supermarket. When I'm on vacations, supermarkets are always where my heart is at home. I found a Carrefour Market of acceptable size.

Sure it was piss rain to the point it leaked through the roof there.

I did find a bit of food. I was amazed to see that France had begun getting taco products some 30 years after Norway got them.

After setting my feet in the sea nearby, I got back to the hotel with the shopping haul:

The Frosties bars and Ferrero Rocher plate were stellar, the Laitière ice cream had proper caramel taste, and the Zapetti bolognese was soft enough that I could eat it straight out of the pack. (The fajita nachos tasted crap, however. Somewhat soap-like.)

I found that the local residents were very, very nice fellows. /genuine Far, far better than all the stereotypes about Paris or Marseille. The one exception was that everyone crossed the street on red. In Norway it's maybe 30% who do it, in Nice it was 95%.

What followed, was a chaotic chain of events where I tried finding the away stand at Allianz Riviera (I became a fan of Bodø/Glimt for the sake of UEFA coeffients and because I hate the utter guts of Lillestrøm and Rosenborg). There were no arrow signs at all, and it took me 50min to get to the stand. I encountered some fine old university professor from Brekstad throughout that trip, however.

I think this must've been me at the 1-0 goal. The bitrate of the broadcast's cam was pretty bad, but I remember I wore ear protections, no supporter effects, and a tuxedo.

The stadium was not pleased with letting away fans go out easily after the match either. By the time I got out it was 6min until the last tram of the night, and I was 800m away. I somehow made it.

The tram doors had a sign about priority exits for eggs in shopping carts. 😺

The following day: Trying to see the rich glory of the Nice-Cannes route. The result was… odd. The wealth differences were extreme. That cannot be stressed enough. This one wasn't even the least wealthy place on the route.

I did get some photos of the famed Cannes festival plaza:

There were some shopping streets in Cannes, but they forgot to make them car-free:

On return to Nice, I decided to get from St. Augustin station to CAP 3000 on a manual kickscooter. It dawned on me that Nice has the world's worst bridge connections I've ever seen. Certainly also in the "The less that is said, the better" category, but I can say it involved pretty risky motorway crossings and strangely placed roadsigns.

The flights home had transit at Kastrup. Much better, though its indoor shopping oval is almost a kilometre long. Denmark's equivalent of Daytona. I did find this there, the first and only time anyone will have described Toad this way:

And then to Værnes and home, with maybe 3,500€ less in my accounts than before I booked flights and hotels.

[nmjackson]

Work Life Balance 𓍝

TLDR Version

DON'T MAKE IT COMPLICATED

Don't give yourself too much to complete

Give yourself a cut off time

Learn to be okay with skipping a day or two

Rant Version ↴

Right after I thought I mastered this magical concept, I woke up late for work, burned my lunch, and came home to go straight to sleep right after work.

The previous week was ✧˖°marvelous✧˖°

I met my word count goals, crossed off 12 out of 14 to-do's for the week, ate right, slept right, exercised, and still had time to do "fun" things like walking my dog or watching a tv show.

First things first, and say it with me, there 👏 is 👏 no 👏 such 👏 thing 👏 as 👏 PERFECT 👏 work 👏 life 👏 balance 👏👏

Sure, there are weeks that are great (and I deeply wish you have a lot of those). There are also weeks that aren't so great. While I can't guarantee what type of week you're going to have, or if you're going to feel great about it, what I can give you are tips as to how I'm learning to get more out of myself as a creative with a work schedule.

Are these mostly generic tips? Yeah, probably. Do you need to be reminded of them from time to time? Yeah, probably.

(Though I don't have a family of my own, I do hope that these tips are useful for you.)

Don't make it complicated

I'm always giving myself weirdly high expectations of what I should get done in a day. Like, "I need to write 1000 words a day minimum in order to be a good writer." Why did I start to think this? When? Your guess is as good as mine. I've changed that "minimum" to something that's much easier for me to achieve, 600 words. That's my goldilocks number right now. Point is, don't make your dreams too complicated to reach, or you won't even try to reach them.

Don't give yourself too much to complete

Your list of tasks and goals should not surpass two to four items. Especially on a daily basis. Obviously, this varies from person to person, but seriously keep it low. I ended up feeling SO MUCH BETTER completing at least ONE THING EVERYDAY and seeing that I actually made progress on my writing project at the end of the week. You're doing too much. Stop it.

Give yourself a cut off time

Ever heard of Parkinson's Law? I didn't give it a whole lot of credit until I really saw it in action. I had given myself a cut off time when I realized I spent most of the day working. Either I'm working at my job or working on my writing project at home. When my dog kept begging me for attention I consciously tried to stop working after 6pm, and wouldn't you know it? I got my work done. Sometimes even before 6pm. It's honestly crazy to have time to do something fun and not feeling guilty about it.

Learn to be okay with skipping a day or two

I haven't worked on any writing project today. And, I'm okay with that. I know I had an off day, so, I will leave it to tomorrow. Will I have a better or worse day tomorrow? I don't know, but I know I need a small recharge now. I also know I'm going to prepare to make writing a priority tomorrow. In the end, it all comes down to priorities, right? So, decompress now, prepare for later, and write later.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Hope this works for you! ✌︎︎♡⃛

[likeagreencamelliatree]

8.24.24 - Part 2

I just guided her and offered to stop for a moment if she felt tired or sick. I heard her breath hitch.

It turned out that the woman only had one train access card. Luckily I had two so that the boy with her could use them. I gave my card to the boy. The woman refused at first, but I said it was okay because it would be a shame to buy another one at a rather expensive cost.

My card balance was indeed not enough to get on the train, but I wanted to top up the balance while wanting to top up the balance on the woman's card which only had one card.

But the woman refused to be paid. I took the money the woman handed over to top up the balance with 10,000 rupiah each card. It turned out that she also wanted my card balance to be filled with her money. I had time to return the 10,000 rupiah for my card to the woman, but she refused. and I just accepted it while saying thank you very much.

I was still worried about the woman while she was walking because I knew that at that age, she was like my grandmother and mother who had problems with sore feet at an age that was no longer young.

After filling out the card and attaching the card to the station entrance gate, we walked along the station platform. I asked once again if the mother wanted to take a break. She kept refusing.

We headed to the side of the platform that was roughly right on the stairs at the train stop on the destination platform because we had to go down through the hallway when we arrived at the destination station.

Not long after, the train arrived at the station we were waiting for. We got on and the mother got priority seats. I chatted with the mother. It turned out that the boy with her was her youngest son.

We only needed to go two stations. Not long after, we arrived. I was still worried about the mother's feet. I continued to guide her.

The mother thanked me and prayed for good things for me. (Thank you, Mom, always be healthy, Mom :))

I was still worried about the mother's feet until we parted ways after going up the escalator because the mother preferred the comfort of riding the escalator compared to the elevator.

The mother came to the mall for reflexology. But she said she wanted to eat first and had time to invite me to eat together. But I refused because I wanted to look for something in a shop in the mall. Then we parted ways.

I went to the shop. After leaving my belongings, I went to the side of the shop where I was looking for something. I wanted to buy a notebook for journaling.

I don't want to be like before when it was difficult to make decisions when shopping. I stick to my principle to forget my past nature. Soon I looked for a cheap notebook that fit my wishes, namely green or had green accents. I found a notebook with green access with cute cactus pictures. I quickly went straight to the cashier and paid for it.

I like my notebook. and I feel that it has a meaning with the cactus that have a strong meaning, like cactus in the desert.

Then after holding back my thirst for a while, I bought iced tea. I don't want to think too much in making a decision. I chose a relatively cheap iced tea with a fairly small size for 7,000 rupiah and a mochi for 10,000 rupiah. I think that's enough to accompany me as a snack.

I started my journal by writing about my new self and my goals in life.

Now I decided to have a new person and a new self. I got rid of old bad habits. And I was able to live it even though there were a few small mistakes. But I learned from it.

I think this is a good start. I feel better. I want to be simple, choose simple things.

Now I realize that I am the type of person who is suitable to be outdoors and likes to travel.

I also had time to send a message to my father who was out of town to just ask about his condition and tell him things including my desire to become a travel journalist and he supported me.

In every few moments I realized there was a lesson and meaning from what happened.

Then suddenly there was a message from my boss that I had been sent money for the results of my work at an event organized by my office which is engaged in event organizing. I was grateful and I felt that this was the result of my patience in the midst of my finances which were at a critical time.

I realized to be grateful for things and try to be a better person.

I wanted to rush home, but I remembered that being outside the house made me feel better. So I interpreted that I should enjoy it. I will stay outside the house for quite a while.

[sabrinahawthorne]

Sorry to OP, Jack, and Aaron, but it's my turn to hijack. Because as it turns out, I've also been thinking about this, and I have an additional solution: Cultivate a Casual Audience.

I spent most of the latter half of 2024 thinking about this issue, by way of thinking about a more pressing issue for me: how to make a living doing this. I'm a disabled artist who's largely unable to work otherwise, and I'd really like to have enough income of my own that I don't always have to rely on those very supportive people in my life. Eventually, I came up with a plan.* Walk with me.

Imagine that you're starting up a local movie theater, and you're pondering the topic of audience. What kind of audiences do you want to draw for the best balance of profit and taste? It seems to me that you have three options: 1. Pander to the MCUboys. This is a super reliable audience, obviously, and they've got money to spend. The problem with this approach is that you're just further slicing the pie - sure, they're a big audience, but you're only ever going to draw a proportional fraction of them, roughly evenly split with all the other theaters in town, including the AMC downtown. Plus, you'd be tying yourself to a property that won't last forever; it's not sustainable, even if it's profitable now. 2. Pander to the Indieboys. This also isn't a great plan - sure, the indie folks are by far your most dedicated crowd. They'll show up for anything, and they'll do it regularly. But as with all indie art circles, they've been passing the same $20 around for the last decade. It's just not profitable enough to keep your business afloat. 3. Cater to a Casual Audience. As a movie exhibitor, this is easy. Everybody goes to the movies! All you have to do is do stuff other than just movies! Maybe sell food in your lobby space and fill it with seating - now it's a dinner spot, too! Or maybe sell local art, too. That way you're getting the attention of people whose focus isn't on movies, and maybe they'll decide to book a ticket to something while they're here having a meal with their visiting parents.

In my city, the local indie theater does all of that and more; they hold monthly workshops where a local artist teaches a workshop on how to do their weird niche thing. In fact, I did one last year, and it was great! About seven people showed up, and one of them was my mom. But you know something? I made a tidy little profit from tickets, and sold a few games besides.

You may have spotted the problem: that being that tabletop RPGs don't have a casual audience. This artform is stuck between two extremes: the MCU and the gorehounds. As others have pointed out - 99% of people who've heard of this medium at all have exclusively heard of D&D, including a lot of pretty hardcore, invested D&D fans. On multiple occasions, I've tested the waters by asking someone if they play RPGs, with the response being "yeah! I've been playing D&D with my friends for like three years!" and then, when I ask if they've ever played anything else, they hit me with the "there are other games? I had no idea!" It's not just that D&D is the most popular thing; it's that to most people - even those who we would consider significantly invested in the medium - D&D is the only thing. The idea that other games can exist at all is alien to a lot of folks. Pretty scary, huh?

Well, here's the twist. It's actually a super solvable problem, and you might be able to do it where you live, for free.

Step 0: First Principles Before you begin, you'll need to iron out your goals and your approach. For me, this is pretty simple - one, I don't talk about D&D. Whenever I'm talking about RPGs, especially to newbies, I straight-up act as if D&D doesn't exist unless someone else brings it up. If I need a standard fantasy RPG that's still in print, I default to Pathfinder, or something more niche if I think I can afford it.† Two, I decide right now that selling my own product is going to be pretty low on my priority list. This is for two reasons, the most relevant one being optics - I want people to feel like I really care about this hobby (which I do, to be clear), and promoting my own work when I could be spotlighting other people's games is going to clock as kind of shady to some people. Because, frankly, it is.

Step 1: Avoid Your Local Game Store Which isn't to say don't shop there, obviously. I only mean that for this little project of yours, the local store won't work. Why? Survivorship bias. Your friendly local game store is, through no fault of their own, the MCU theater. They only pay rent because they sell D&D and Magic cards - and let's be real, Magic cards are the smaller market. Don't blame them for this; they're doing everything they can, and the fact that they can afford to buy stock of Monsterhearts, or Avatar: Legends is a mark of their success. But the fact is, they're the plane that made it back. Their audience is almost entirely D&D-heads. Those aren't the people you're trying to reach. Instead, you're looking for a local art spot. A popular coffee shop that doubles as a gallery; A used bookstore with weekly storytimes and programs for local authors. Somewhere that meets these two criteria: a) they cater to a wide, casual market who do not come here for tabletop RPGs, and b) hold any kind of regular event. Poetry readings, book clubs, anything like that.

Step 2: Talk To The Owners I'll be real - this is the step where I got the most lucky. See, I was about two days into formulating this plan when my local movie theater decided to start hosting weekly board game nights. As in, anyone can show up, bring-your-own-game, play with whoever you like. For free. The opportunity fell into my lap. Even if I hadn't already done business with this place, I wouldn't have needed to bring this plan up with them. They'd just given me a free opportunity. You may not be so fortunate. In your case, then, you'll want to bring your pitch around and see who bites. In many cases, this is going to be you starting up a new event at this location, and that means a lot of responsibility on your shoulders to maintain the schedule, the marketing, etc. The thing is, though – there’s always more going on in your city than you imagine. In my experience, a lot of these local art spaces are pretty bad at advertising themselves, and all it takes is a little searching and some in-person friendships to get you in touch with something you can take advantage of. Maybe your library has some kind of regular mingling event – old-school fantasy geek meetups, or a star-trek fan group who meets every other week at the mom & pop diner. See if there’s something you can ride the coattails of, before you take the leap of organizing your own event.

Step 3: Be Prepared I made a spreadsheet. I have the next six months planned. I don’t go to every game night – instead, I show up every other week. I’m there the full two hours, no matter what. Unless I have to, I never show up alone. I bring pre-made characters, a pre-written module, pencils, paper, dice, and two dice boxes. If I have one, I bring a physical copy of that week’s game. If nobody bites, no worries – I just carry over that game to the next week, ad nauseum, until it gets played. I select for smaller games that I already own. One-pagers, zines, that sort of thing. I also select for games I think are either accessible to newbies, or which I would consider required reading. Lasers & Feelings; Roll for Shoes; Crash Pandas. I also selected my timeframe very carefully. I’d burn out if I prepared a new game with characters and an adventure every week, and people would forget about me if I did it only once a month. So it’s every other week; enough time to not stress overmuch about prep, but not so long that people forget, or quietly assume I stopped coming.

Step 4: Persist Then, I mingle. I talk to people who show up alone; I make a show of being an open table. And I ask everyone I meet: “Do you know what you’re playing tonight?” This step takes patience. A fucking lot of patience. My first two weeks (which is to say, my first full month, real-time), nobody bit. That was due to a combination of factors; for one, it was still January, and the event was pretty dead. It’s gotten better since. For another, I went alone those weeks. It felt kind of pathetic, honestly – but I knew what I wanted, and I was willing to wait for it. And it’s working. My last showing, I came with two friends, and two other people showed up. One of them told me at the end of the night that he had someone in mind to invite along. Folks, this is a long game. A really long game. My plan is to do this every other week for the rest of the year, barring a few things, and my goal by the end of 2025 is to have four, maybe five, regulars. But I know what I’m here for, and I know it’s going to take a while.

I’m cultivating a casual RPG market in my town. Because that’s really what we need, isn’t it? This is a really niche hobby, but it doesn’t have to be. Wizards of the Coast have proven, in their own slimy way, that RPGs can appeal to a huge array of people, if they’re given an open door. If you care about de-monopolizing this hobby and opening it up for more artists to be able to make a living, then our goal needs to be generating a casual gaming audience that isn’t funneled through the filter of D&D to get to the other side of indie. They need the opportunity to try out the medium from other angles. And if you’ve got the time, energy, and inclination, I think you can give it to them.

*This plan won't work for everyone. In fact, I suspect it won't work for most of us, for one reason or another. I think I'm pretty lucky both in terms of the support network I have in my private life, as well as some of the material & geographic resources at my disposal, and this solution requires all three. But I hope that some of what I outline here is transferable to other people's circumstances as well.

†Hey. Hey, look at me. Look me in the eyes. Pathfinder is indie. No, stop. Look at Me. D&D is the only mainstream RPG. I'm not kidding, and I'm not exaggerating. Please, please understand that you and I are the kinds of movie fans who think Reanimator is mainstream, okay? We're the indie freaks who are passing that $20 around. We have a tendency to lose perspective on what the average normie has heard of, let alone played. I'm begging you not to discourse about this in the notes.

Art Communities and TTRPGs

I recently read an article by @toyourstations (which you can read here) about art revolutions, both online and in physical space. It makes the point that art communities online are generally fairly insular, rarely reaching out beyond a small circle of other artists. To combat this, the article argues that you as an artist should find a way to exist in physical space around people who are not in your small group and share your art there. It's a topic that I had been thinking about a lot lately as I've been making a conceited effort to connect more people in the indie ttrpg space and encourage more community amongst artists.

I've noticed a trend that relates to both of these topics. It seems to me that people in the indie ttrpg community online rarely interact with other's works. I see in other art mediums an outpouring of interaction on even the most sophomoric works. Yet amongst ttrpg writers, I see posts of well made projects with little to no interaction or feedback. This is purely subjective and my experience may be skewing my view on the topic but it seems to hold true.

I have a few theories.

This is obviously a fairly small community, but there are at least other artists here that would have opinions about the projects they see. Are people scared to interact; to give criticism, both good or bad? You would think in such a small community of creator/artists that people would be sharing ideas and writing critique.

The most cynical theory is that creators don't want to boost up other projects as they see them as competition. There is a feeling that there is only enough oxygen in the room for one or two projects to exist and you don't want to lift up other projects when it may result in the starvation of your own.

There is also the time investment. It takes time to read and interact with ttrpgs. Playing/testing them is a whole other level of commitment. But there must be some people who at least read or skim projects. Why do they not leave comments. Does it really come down to the size of the community? Are there just not enough people interested in projects outside of their own?

----

I do feel that I need to state that this opinion is not a reflection of my personal project's engagement. I am fairly happy with how they have performed considering my size and reach. This frustration is mostly a product of seeing other projects and artist gain zero traction when I think their projects are worthwhile. This also goes beyond Tumblr as a platform. Obviously there are a million factors that play into this, but I think a community initiative to engage more with smaller works could change the landscape of the ttrpg community online.

[transmascnepetaleijon]

as a child my biggest dream was to go to texas one day

[lexxiie]

Hello Lexie! Remember the boyfriend headcanons you did for some of the BNHA villains not too long ago? Could I request the same thing but with Shouto? 💖

Hey there, anon!🤍 How could I forget? I'm proud of those.

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Shouto Todoroki x Reader | (Bonus) Kai Chisaki x Reader

Notes: I always write the heroes as adults.

(Part 1)

Relationship Headcanons | Part 2

SHOUTO TODOROKI

He's quite the definition of a gentleman.

Truly a very considerate person.

When he's commited to something, he is commited to that something.

Especially if it's not something, but someone.

He might not look like it, but he is a passionate guy with very strong emotions.

You truly are his everything.

He's the kind of boyfriend to always put you first.

It's a part of his nature being so selfless.

He had a great example of toxic relationships while growing up, so much like Shigaraki, his priority is to never treat you like his father treated his mother.

He doesn't want to be that kind of man to you.

He loves and respects you too much to be a jerk anyways.

His job as a pro-hero consumes a lot of his time, but he always tries to make some space in his busy schedule for you.

Again, he doesn't want to neglect you like his dad used to do.

Saving inocent people is very important to him, obviously. But his top priority is always you.

He kisses you every single day before leaving for work. He does it because he never knows if he'll come back, but he doesn't tell you that.

Always tries to come back home before you go to sleep because he loves having dinner with you. Talking about his day with the person he loves is very special to him, it helps him forget about all the bad things he sees daily.

However, when he can't make it home soon enough, he goes straight to bed with you, careful not to wake you up.

You call him about 5 times a day to make sure he's alright. He says it's not necessary to call so many times, but he actually finds it very cute and is constantly waiting for each call.

I've mentioned this before, but he calls you "love" all the time.

And he also says "I love you" very often.

He's straightforward. Why wouldn't he tell you how he feels?

He calls you beautiful out of nowhere with the most stern look in his face.

It should be kinda weird, but it never fails to make you blush.

On weekends, he wakes up early to make breakfast for both of you. It's his way of compensating you for not having enough time during the week.

He's actually a very romantic guy.

He plans fancy dates for you quite often.

I feel like I should mention that he always smells like expensive cologne.

He likes to gift you things for some reason.

And he has taste.

He totally likes to dance with you around your house.

He doesn't like to have his father around you because he know's Enji isn't a fan of you.

He says you are a distraction unless you provide Shouto with a "Heir."

Your boyfriend doesn't have time for his bullshit.

However, Rey and Fuyumi adore you and you have a great time with both of them on family dinners.

That makes Shouto very happy.

As I said, he's a guy who truly compromises with everything. His goals are clear to him.

His main goal right now, is spending the rest of his life with you.

KAI CHISAKI | OVERHAUL

Oof. This one's interesting.

Listen, he may be an asshole but I firmly believe that he does have the capacity to love very intensely. It's just a bit hard to be one of those things he loves.

Before you came into the picture, he only loved the Shie Hassaikai and his old man.

That's quite a short list.

Turning into someone special to him takes a loooot of time.

But it's not impossible.

The thing is that when he loves something, he devotes to that something. He gives his all for it.

So, naturally, he is totally entranced by you.

Again, that took you a lot of time and effort. You went from him hating you, to not giving two fucks about you, to tolerating you, to wanting to be with you, to finally loving you.

Look, he's a smart man. He had no problem with knowing he loved you, however, saying it was a whole different story.

The first time he ever said it, was because you had said it first.

He felt like he had peaked in life.

It's scary, you know? He might have a big ego, but he knows he hasn't been the best man to you in the past, or to others. In his mind, you loving him, is nearly impossible.

He truly believes that in any moment you are going to realize that you don't actually want to be with him and will leave him.

It's a constant fear of his, but he'll never talk about it.

A smart man, remember? Conversations with him are always very interesting.

He definitely reads to you when you can't sleep.

He doesn't like it when you acknowledge the cute things he does for you, though. It makes him uncomfortable.

The thing is that he knows you make him different. And he doesn't necessarily like it sometimes.

Or even worse. You make him weak. He hates that. But he knows it's inevitable.

I believe that if he lets someone in his life that actually cares for him, that person will help him grow in a lot of aspects.

For example, his phobia. He doesn't feel disgusted by you, he actually wants to touch you. That's quite a big step forward.

And also his empathy for others.

Now that he had you in his life, he could understand what it meant to love someone and care for someone else more than for yourself.

Now he thinks twice before killing people just because he felt like it. Maybe those people are what you are to him to someone else.

He has trouble sleeping, so he normally just stares at you for hours while you sleep. Studying you, trying to memorize you. He does say he loves you when you are asleep.

He's not one to talk about feelings and stuff, but I do believe he is a romantic dude.

Formally romantic, though.

Dinner in a fancy restaurant, nice dresses that fit you just right, jewelry...

It's his way of showing you affection.

Don't mention it, though. Or he'll stop.

I just know he knows how to cook since I don't think he'd want to eat food made by some rando. If he's feeling generous, he'll cook for you.

He does like physical contact from you, but he'll never, ever ask for it. He'll just wait agonizingly patiently till you initiate contact yourself, and then pretend it annoys him.

Lots of forhead kisses.

This one also smells like expensive cologne.

Him not being too expressive or easy to get to might sound sad to others, but not to you. You know that all the little things mean too much, and despite what he wants you to think, he would die for you.

Devotion, remember?

[tkpuke]

K.O.

Pairing: Steve/Dustin

Summary: in which Dustin doesn’t know when to stop bickering until he hits a nerve. Steve finally decides to put him in line as a fair warning.

Word count: 1,149

DO NOT tag as ship.

“All my quarters. Gone, just like that. For nothing.”

“Dude, I could’ve destroyed that guy if I was given another chance. I had a feeling.” Steve argued, closing the front door behind him.

“You said that like fifty times! You were stuck on round 3 for god knows how long.” Dustin yelled from across the living room, sliding down on the couch defeatedly.

Steve took a Orange Fanta soda can from the fridge, leaning against the kitchen counter while taking multiple sips. “Maybe Ryu just sucks. I should’ve picked a different character, huh?”

Dustin sighed. “Or maybe you just suck.”

Inviting Steve to the arcade to play the newly released game, Street Fighter, sounded like a nice idea to hangout this morning to Dustin, since Mike and Lucas weren’t free to get ahold of. If only Dustin knew Steve would blow off all his saved up quarters to be stuck on round 3, struggling to the core with every hard toggle on the joystick, he wouldn’t have a problem to go by himself instead.

“Don’t act like you weren’t struggling to get past round 3 either.” Steve shot back, eyeing him from the kitchen.

“How do you suck at fighting in real life and in video games?” Dustin muttered for him to only hear, but apparently it wasn’t quiet enough.

“What was that?” Steve set his soda aside, starting to make his way towards the boy. This caused Dustin to sit up straight, feeling a little alarmed but that didn’t stop his next bold response.

“You. Can’t. Fight.”

“Okay, y’know what? Get up.”

Dustin happily got on his feet, crossing his arms while giving Steve a wide smug smile to irritate him more. Dustin knows how easily Steve gets riled up, over the smallest comments than anything. Whether it’s about his hair, his slight ego, or his horrible pickup lines towards girls, he’ll give you the blowup reaction you were earning for.

“Me, you, let’s go.” Steve got himself into a pounce-like position, looking ridiculous to Dustin.

Dustin scoffs out a laugh, but wiped his smile away when Steve barely budged. “You’re serious?”

Steve’s next move answered Dustin’s question pretty quick.

Arms wrapped around the boy’s torso, attempting to knock him over on the couch. Dustin lets out a surprise shriek, not letting it happen by pushing back. They circled around, foreheads bumping every few seconds. The goal of this mini fight was obvious. Whoever lands on the ground first, has lost.

Dustin felt himself sliding on the wooden tile, knees almost touching the ground. Of course, he couldn’t let that happen. Especially if he’s up against Steve. The sort of pride that man would gain would be something he would never hear the end of.

In order to flip the tables, Dustin hooked his leg behind Steve’s left leg, making him lose footing in hopes he goes tumbling down on the ground. Unfortunately, the plan went south. They both landed on the ground with a thud, taking a few seconds to themselves to let out a few pained grunts.

Their stilled movements came to a end, both trying to stand up faster than the other. In the middle of it all, Steve’s hand were placed firmly on Dustin’s shoulder to give himself a little push in standing up. A squeak shoved away all the rumbling noises, Steve automatically knowing he accidentally brushed his fingers on the boy’s neck.

Getting up was suddenly Steve’s last priority as of right now.

Steve sat on top of Dustin’s flailing legs, fetching for a wrist in the process. Dustin isn’t stupid, he knows exactly where this is headed. The amount of times Steve tickled him senseless because he needed to “watch his tone”, Steve’s words, should’ve been enough for Dustin to start biting his tongue. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Some would blame Dustin’s secret mini enjoyment of tickling, but he would deny it until the day he dies.

“Get off! You’re heavy!” Dustin wailed while weakly hitting Steve’s chest with one free arm, but it immediately went down when there was a tweak of his side. The tweak instantly turned into fast scribbling, reveling in Dustin’s snorts that never fails to make the people around him laugh when hearing them.

“Three…” Steve began the countdown, the scribbling to Dustin’s sides never slowing their pace. Once Steve reaches to one with Dustin still on the floor, he will walk home tonight in victory. Of course, Dustin has the chance to worm a hand at Steve’s stomach which will result in the man crumbling down in a heap of giggles, leading Dustin in the path of winning this hilarious fight instead.

Although, would Steve play fair and let him have the strength to do that? No, no he would not.

“Two…” Steve slid his hands higher up, now playing his ribs like a piano. Ears picking up on soft thuds behind him, seeing Dustin digging his heels on the floor to try and buck Steve off. Took only a third attempt to realize that plan isn’t gonna work anytime soon.

Dustin tried to sneakily worm his hand towards Steve’s leg, aiming to pinch rapidly on the man’s thigh. It took Steve not even a second to catch on and immediately go in for the kill before Dustin managed to flip the tables successfully and go all merciless on his ass.

“One!” Steve’s last destination was Dustin’s stomach, the spot that nails in the coffin. Every scribble, squeeze, and digging got Dustin’s snort filled laughs come to an end. When silence filled the air, Steve halted his movements and took a stand.

“Your stomach never fails to shut you up.” Steve said while smiling down at Dustin’s breathless state. Targeting Dustin’s stomach doesn’t reward you giggles for three minutes, more like five seconds. Then, it goes straight to silent laughter. That little knowledge comes in handy, if you ask Steve.

“Yohou…cheated..” Dustin told between breaths, making his way to lay down on the couch to heal from the brutal attack. Steve rolled his eyes, but does know damn well he did, in fact, cheat. He would defend himself by saying if anybody found out their opponent is deathly ticklish, you couldn’t help but get your hands curious. Especially if it results in giving you an extra helping hand in winning.

“Hey Steve, can I tell you something?” Dustin asks, tugging Steve’s sleeve to get him to kneel down so he can whisper in his ear. Although it was just the two of them in the house, Steve complied.

“You still suck in fighting.”

Dustin will never learn. Steve’s aware, but why still tackle him down on the couch and tickle him to pieces yet again? Maybe because Steve is also aware that Dustin, despite the fact he likes to be a pain in the ass on purpose, enjoys the bonding affection he’ll never blatantly admit to.

[yandere-sins]

Could I request some yandere Sukuna from jjk crushing on one of Yutadoris sorcerer teachers and before she realises it, sukuna has taken over yutadoris body and I’ll let you decide the ending

Thank you for requesting! :3 I hope you enjoy it! Sukuna is second best boy for me from the series so I am always excited for him ^-^

»»———————— ♡ ————————««     

Up till now, you hadn’t had the chance to build an opinion on the creature that Itadori was. Perhaps, it wasn’t your place to judge him at all, but having been assigned as one of the people teaching him the ways of the Sorcerers, you almost felt obligated to have some kind of opinion.

The truth was, he was a good kid. Anyone with a few social skills could see that. Though he was young, he took what he was doing at the Jujutsu High seriously, and despite being immensely chipper, for someone who would be executed at some point, he wasn’t a bother to have around. Even if this wasn’t the way of life he wanted, he pretty much committed to it now.

And yet, of course, you feared him.

You feared that someday, he wouldn’t be able to keep the threat residing inside of him at bay. You feared he was a ticking bomb on two legs, no matter how well he appeared to have it under control. No one could assume what was going on beneath that carefree expression and cheerful smile. What Sukuna was doing underneath the farce that was this sweet boy.

At first, you thought it would get better the more you knew him. The first meeting had made all hairs on your body stand up straight, but even then, you didn’t run from it. You might have looked pretty disgusted the first time Sukuna spoke up through a mouth on Itadori’s cheek, but otherwise, you had kept your composure.

No matter if you were a graduate from this school, or if they trusted into your abilities enough to teach the kids, or if you believed in yourself and your skills, it all meant nothing when you thought that you’d have to restrain the monster hiding inside of Itadori. How long would you be able to withstand it? A second? Two? You could be relieved if Sukuna made a quick process of you, but you feared he wouldn’t.

Glancing over your shoulder, you watched Itadori jotting down the things you were writing for him on the board. A yawn escaped him casually before he went back to taking his notes. He looked just like any other student. As if he was taking a typical class on an everyday topic, but you couldn’t shake the feeling. You knew you were being watched.

The thought that it wasn’t Itadori who watched you was actually worse than if it was him.

Sighing, you brought your eyes back forth to the blackboard, simply hoping that it was just your imagination running wild. You really, really did not want it to be true. However, sorcerers were specialists when it came to cursed spirits. You should have known better than to push away your intuition like that.

On the other side of the room, Yuji couldn’t help but wipe some sweat off his brow, relieved that you didn’t see it. Sukuna - as always - was a pain in the ass to deal with. If he wasn’t running his mouth, he at least seemed to think he deserved to see what was going on, eyes crawling over Yuji’s skin no matter how hard he tried to stop them.

Turning his head, shielding the eyes with his hand - nothing ended his attempts. Yuji was so glad that you were focused on your task of teaching him, refusing to spoil him with your gaze all the time. Why Sukuna decided to take an interest in you, not even Yuji had been able to get that question out of the cursed spirit. However, every lesson it got worse. Usually, Sukuna would stay put if it wasn’t Fushiguro that Yuji was talking to, but you seemed to make him restless.

Catching a glimpse of the clock over the door, he sighed in relief. Only ten more minutes left before this would be over once more. Even though Yuji had no problem talking, you and he had yet to really get to know each other. You were careful, and with Sukuna acting up, so was Yuji. He almost expected you to not like him very much for apparent reason, so how in the world could he have explained to you what was going on without it freaking you out?

“Hey, I think you shouldn’t teach me anymore because Sukuna is stirring up my body!” sounded weird AND suspicious. It would have probably earned him a re-evaluation or execution right away. Yuji knew that if he wasn’t able to control Sukuna anymore, that would be his end, and he had yet to reach his goal. He should have told you then and there, but something held him back.

Something that decided it was time for more action than sitting out this precious time with you.

Yuji’s hand tensed before it drove forward hard, letting go of the pen between his fingers. With a tender click, it fell to the ground, rolling towards you and catching your attention. Surprised, you glanced at Itadori, who smiled nervously at you, clutching his own hand, and you raised a brow, wondering if he was having a cramp or something.

Picking up the pen, you walked over to your student to return it, putting it in front of him on his desk, as Itadori managed an awkward, “Thank you!” while trying to take it. His movements seemed unnatural, sort of revolting as you could see his muscles tense and release beneath his skin. This was weird, right? You weren’t imagining things this time, or were you?

The answer was taken from you as his hand suddenly flinched, body jolting over the table to grab for your wrist, and you barely had the time to react. You knew what you had to do, jujutsu was like second nature for you, but the surprise hit harder now that your body was actually trying to have an opinion on Itadori.

Still, you were going in for the kill. If it had to be you or the boy, then you were your priority, no matter how much your heart already seemed to regret having to do this. What you didn’t expect was... he was faster. “Ita--?” you managed to press out before you were hit roughly in your face.

Your eyes shut close as his second hand reached for your head, fingers clawing into your hair and skin, sinking into the hollows of your skull and digging in. Despite it all, you managed to open your eyes again, one covered by the palm and clouded in darkness, the other one staring right into what you hoped - and at the same time feared - where two red irises staring back; Two that belonged to the same face, but different pairs of eyes.

“Unfortunately, I think this lesson ends prematurely. A shame, I do like watching you even if it’s just from the back.”

Even though you could not assign the voice to anyone you met before, your body froze up almost instantly as you watched the face back away from you, showing you half of a lopsided grin. The expression spreading out on his face was none you would have thought Itadori was capable of. “You can’t blame the boy, he was trying so hard to keep me away from you,” the person before you spoke, and the unappreciated realization of who was standing in front of you took over your mind.

Sukuna.

Almost instantly, as you thought his name, black marks began to spread over Itadori’s skin, crawling deep down to his chest and appearing back on this arms. “I finally found a fine woman, and yet it took me months to get to you. We have to commend him for that, don’t we?”

The more he talked, the less you felt incapable of moving. Despite the fear feeling like a blizzard freezing you up, you warmed your body with thoughts of who you were. You were a graduate of this very same school. You had survived so many spirits, but seen so many good men fall. If this was your turn to die, you wouldn’t go down like prey in the eyes of your hunter.

Gripping his wrist with both your hands, his grip tightened unbearably so, but you pressed the words out of your mouth anyway. “What do you want?” you brought forth through gritted teeth, and Sukuna’s lips curled into an almost pleasant, yet condescending smile. “Just you,” he explained, suddenly letting go of your face, making you stumble forward.

But the next moment, you felt his pointer against your forehead. In a wondrous moment of clarity, you realized what was going on. You’d not let him have his way and give that spirit what he wanted, but it was too late to make use of your abilities and blow off his arm or your own head in an attempt to flee. All you got was darkness and the feeling of everything around you collapsing to the ground as you blacked out.

 “Fuck,” you winced as your mind slowly regained conscience. The ground you were laying on could only be described as fluid, but it wasn’t wet at all. Nevertheless, when you opened your eyes, you jolted up and into a seat, seeing all the red that covered the surroundings. If not for the buzzing energy of this place, you might have thought you were dead. With the memories of the happenings returning to you as you tried to remember, you wished you actually were.

“Finally awake, I see,” a voice called out, amusement and mockery laying in its tone. Your eyes caught the sight of the hundreds of skulls first before it managed to lift high enough to see the special grade cursed spirit splayed out enthroned on them. “Welcome to my world,” he grinned, and it made a shudder run down your spine while you began glancing around carefully.

“What did you do?” you asked, seeing nothing but darkness and bones wherever you looked. “Why am I here?”

“Ah, so many questions,” Sukuna sighed, your head snapping forward as you heard footsteps in front of you. “Isn’t it great that we’ll have a lot of time to clear them up?”

You didn’t react to this, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing you would humor him. Still, you eyed his hand suspiciously as he squatted down, reaching out to caress your face. You almost feared a cut from his sharp nail along your cheek, but nothing happened, and you noticed his eyes almost transfixed on his finger on your skin. “Where’s my body?”

“Safe,” he mumbled, appearing to be in thought. But just as quickly, his eyes snapped up to meet yours again. “Figured it out already, haven’t you?”

“What could someone like you want from my soul, even dragging it here for no apparent reason?”

“Told you, didn’t I? I just want you; the rest is a surprise!”

Standing up again, Sukuna spread his arms open as if he was inviting you in to them. “Don’t be so stiff, Darling. We’ll have fun here!”

“Darling?!” you croaked in disbelieve, spouting the words which were absolutely revolting to you. “Don’t worry,” Sukuna chuckled.

“You’ll come to like me soon enough.”

[blushing-titan]

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about chapter 138 again, and I came to a few conclusions. First and foremost, I’m surprised at the amount of Mikasa’s fans who are happy about the possibility of the cabin vision being an actual AU. Mikasa has been one of my favorite characters pretty much since the beginning, but I feel like - if the AU is real - it’s a huge step back for her progress and general well-being. Let me explain my point below - warning, it’s pretty long! I’ll be using manga panels (I obviously don’t own them, all credits go to the author!), and there will be spoilers.

My perspective on Eremika

I’m a firm believer that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship is a bit too unhealthy for Mikasa, at least in it’s current state - to me, it’s clear as a day that it’s way too unbalanced. Mikasa just invests more in it - it’s been shown countless times, both in the manga and anime, that Eren’s safety and well-being is her top priority. He’s on her mind most of the times and she constantly wants to be near him - she thinks of him as her safe place and home.

But what about Eren? He’s often irritated and suffocated by her overprotectiveness. He’s quite a proud person who doesn’t want to be constantly saved - despite generally needing it sometimes. In my eyes, it’s another imbalance - Eren wants to be the strong one, but since Mikasa is just naturally better at that, he constantly feels belittled, like it’s a form of rivalry.

On top of that, throught the entire series Eren has his own set of dreams and goals that doesn’t necessarily always revolve around Mikasa - all while Mikasa makes up her plans and goals solely around Eren. She even admits that all she wants is just to be at his side.

What concerns me too, however, is that Mikasa often puts Eren’s safety and well-being over her own - and it’s something that she realizes. 

Sometimes, Mikasa’s friends act as a voice of reason, but when someone tries to raise any objections or concerns against Eren, she usually backs him up or tries to rationalize his actions. In the example below, Jean is concerned about the scar that Mikasa got after she got attacked by Eren (right after Eren lost control over his titan in chapter 12).

On top of that, Mikasa can be very passive, and even uncritical when it comes to Eren’s more questionable actions. There are times in which the latter can get a bit too blunt, or even straight up mean, but Mikasa either protects him, tries to justify his actions or is literally immobilized by them - like in the scene in which Eren insults her and proceeds to fight Armin, who’s been trying to back her up. Notice how Mikasa is unable to stop Eren from continuously attacking Armin (when, a reminder, the latter one stood up for her), but immediately jumps in to stop Armin from attacking Eren. You can clearly see that even she is shocked by her reaction.

We can also see her being in denial about Eren’s hurtful actions later on. She doesn’t even want to talk about it when Jean brings it up:

She’s also still concerned and worried about Eren a few chapters later, after he had done and stated that he’s about to do terrible things - even at times when her other friends were endangered. This time, it’s Armin who tries to act as a voice of reason.

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves: 

Do I think that Eren doesn’t care about Mikasa, or even hate her (as he said)? No - she’s obviously extremely important to him and he was definitely lying during the table scene. Personally, I’ve never seen him having any romantic feelings towards her, but that doesn’t mean anything - love doesn’t always have to be romantic and I 100% believe that she’s still someone who he holds very dear to his heart. There are many moments that show that he’s also very protective of her, and that - along with Armin - she’s one of the most important people in his life. 

But my point still stands - aside from that, the relationship is just too unbalanced to be considered healthy, especially for Mikasa. Both Eren and Mikasa see it in different light, which often cause them to collide. I just can’t help but feel like Mikasa sacrifices too much for it, too - she often ends up jeopardizing her safety, constantly worries about Eren and clashes with her friends because of it. To some extent, Eren may be doing some of these things as well - but let’s be 100% honest, never nearly as much as Mikasa does. He fiercly protects her when she’s in danger and backs her up when he agrees with her, but at the end of the day he has his own goals and opinions. He doesn’t fixate himself with Mikasa nearly as much as Mikasa does it with him - he’s never jealous of anything but her skills, meanwhile she's often on alert when he’s around other girls. In the manga, she’s displaying jealousy over Annie and Historia, in the anime we can add Hanji to that pool, while in A.O.T. Wings of Freedom she’s also jealous of Sasha and even freckled Ymir - all while Eren remains oblivious and - in these situations, rightfully so - annoyed.

We know that there are reasons why Mikasa treats Eren like this. He obviously saved her life when they were children, but it’s also because she was strongly traumatized by losing both her biological family, and then people who took care of her right after that. It’s only natural that she does anything in her power to not go through that again...

...but it’s important to question if the way her relationship with Eren goes - how she commits to it 100% and how it affects her - is really the best way for her to heal and eventually live a happy life. I believe that Eren himself saw that it was becoming too toxic for Mikasa - and, considering that he actually cares for her and knows that he doesn’t have all the time in the world, he focused on making her move on. In my opinion, that’s why he wanted to push her away during the table scene. It’s also why he tried to get rid of the scarf that Louise brought to him. Even if the execution is far from perfect, he still wants what’s best for her, so he tries to put an end to enabling her unhealthy coping practices. He wants her to live a long, happy life.

Soooo...how does “the cabin AU” fit into all of this?

The answer is simple - it doesn’t. It’s a huge mixture and repetition of everything that’s harmful about Mikasa’s obsession with Eren. It’s a confirmation that Mikasa would be able to leave the entire world for 4 years of constant lying to herself. To betray her friends, leave everything behind, act as if everything was going to be okay and, in turn, make it all worse for herself. Because let me remind you one thing - Mikasa will go on living after Eren looses to the titan curse...but what will she do from now on? Will she stay in the cabin forever, alone and with no one to talk to - no one to share the pain after saying her final goodbye to Eren? Will she come back to the war-ridden world and face her old friends - like Armin who must have been frantically looking for her and Eren? Some of these friends may not want to have anything to do with her after all that - some may be already dead. Maybe there’s no place to go at all.

In my opinion, Eren being okay with this would ultimately prove that he doesn’t care about Mikasa’s wellbeing - and, as I’ve said before I just don’t think that’s the case at all. On top of that, as stated in the beginning, it would serve as a regress of Mikasa’s character - she wouldn’t be able to overcome her weaknesses, which would only make her life harder in the long run. Therefore, I simply can’t accept this vision to be an AU. What do I think it was, then?

Mikasa believes in Eren’s good heart, despite all awful things he commits - she repeatedly says that he does it all for them - his friends...and yet she wants to believe that there must have been a way to not let it all happen. A part of her may be blaming herself, which is why she questions if she could have changed anything by giving him a different answer. 

To me, it’s very obvious and I have to admit: I was horrified to see the amount of fans saying “If only she hadn’t family-zoned him, so many people would still be alive!”. Mikasa was NEVER to blame here and her answer should never have a force to change something like that. At the end of the day, it was Eren’s decision to go on with the rumbling, and I hate to see Mikasa (and the fans, too!) putting any blame for it on her.

In conclusion, I really believe that the vision was Mikasa’s daydream - most likely created as a coping mechanism since at this point she knew what was about to happen - what she had to do. Not any AU flashback, but rather a poor, traumathised girl trying to come to terms with the cruel reality - and ultimately reclaiming her strength. In her mind, she comes back to her safe place for a few moments, just to get a bit of comfort - a place where she and Eren live peacefully and safely. In fact, the panel below may suggest that she was dreaming about something similar ever since the training days:

I also believe that, at some point, Eren enters that dream - perhaps somehow through paths, or is sent there by Ymir. There, he once again reminds Mikasa that he wants her to live long, be free and forget about him.

I think in the end, Mikasa rejects that fake utopia, finally understanding that it could never happen and it was not her fault. She accepts the reality as it is and stops rationalizing Eren’s actions. She also comes to terms with her feelings towards him, but won’t let it cloud her judgement anymore. She will remember him and cherish these memories forever, but acknowledges that it has gone too far - she chooses humanity, the world and finally: a long, happy life for her. Just like Eren would want for her.

This time, Mikasa wraps the scarf around herself.

If you’re here, wow - thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! I’m sorry for any mistakes I’ve made while writing - English is not my first language and I didn’t really have anyone to beta-read this long wall of text xd Hope I made my points clear - and just to clarify, my text is not an invitation for any ugly Mikasa haters. As I’ve said before, she’s one of my favorite characters and I hope for the best for her - she’s been through so much, poor girl needs a break :C

[some-dr-writings]

Kokichi, Ryoma, Kaito, and Kiibo get Reader’s motive video, revealing no one in the outside world cares about them

Kokichi Oma:

·       Well this was certainly an interesting turn of events, he received two motive videos, and it seems no one else received multiple. But who’s in the world did he receive and more importantly, which should he watch first?

·       …

·       He slid the first pad under his pillow after seeing it.

·       Now what about this other one? Who’s loved one or ones would he see, a person who would be twisted into making a person to want to kill.

·       No one. He just saw a lone picture of Monokuma, apologizing that even after searching and searching there was not a soul to be in the outside world who cared for you.

·       Huh…

·       Kokichi watched the video once more absent mindedly.

·       Even if there was no one in the outside world, that didn’t mean there was no one, after all, he cared, and surely your new friends here did too.

·       Wait, No, no he didn’t! He didn’t care at all! He had to keep repeating that lie to himself so he wouldn’t do anything rash. He needs to be the antagonist, it’s the only way to protect the others without Monokuma getting in the way. It seems his plan to get everyone to watch all the motive videos was all the more important now. In Kokichi’s it stated D.I.C.E. was in danger, people he knew, but if the video said you had no one, surely you… you’d already know you had no one, right? Perhaps there was more of a story behind your becoming the Super High School Level Survivalist than what you had lead others to believe. You lived in the wild because there was no one in human society for you to return to… Was that it?

·       The others were kind folks, surely upon seeing this, they’d all clamor around you, saying they cared about you, Kokichi could even remind them of that promise they made with Kaede, make them think he was antagonizing you in the process, so they’d be extra protective of you, and hopefully making you feel cared for with them all the while saying you WERE friends. You’d have a reason to survive for others and not only yourself. As much as Kokich wished he could be a part of that reason, he could not. But… perhaps he could be a part of the reason you keep surviving for others and not only because it’s all you know how to do after you have escaped… All the more reason to get the others to cooperate discreetly and end this killing as soon as possible.

   Ryoma Hoshi:

·       Ryoma found you to be a rather interesting individual the moment you had met, the Super High School Level Survivalist. You were not fearful of death, yet still did all you could to avoid it. You’d say just waiting to die is an insult to life itself. Once Ryoma had asked you if you had no reason to live. “Why do I need a reason? Isn’t being born enough of a reason? If you’re dead you can’t find this so called ‘reason’ so… you just have to keep living till you find one I guess. Most all creatures do ANYTHING to live, the only exception to that are humans, we humans are arrogant enough to think we’re above life, so we take advantage of our apathy and die for the sake of being too scared to face ourselves, our inner voices and pains. Humans who have the gaul to just give up and die are the worst scum of the world. Their life would have been better off given to a virus, at least that would appreciate the gift and do whatever it could to keep it.” Living for the sake of life and nothing more… an interesting concept Ryoma could simply not wrap his mind around. “Heh, I suppose I still got a ways to go.”

·       Then seeing your motive video… Ryoma knew if he had received a video like this… he’d maybe… Ryoma thought you were much stronger than him, to want to and be able to keep going for your own sake, not needing to cling to anyone or anything else. Still though, he was glad he had gotten this instead of you. Even if you truly fine completely on your own… surely this would still hurt. After all, “Survival is not just about the individual. Sometimes survival means to sacrifice your own life so others may live. This killing game is testing that. The majority surviving is one of the main goals of life, so life can keep creating itself in an endless cycle for the sake of itself and nothing more.” Survival is not just about living, it’s protecting so many, so knowing no one cared, no one to protect…

·       What was Ryoma thinking? Everyone here is those who you were trying to protect, even if you had someone on the outside world you cared for, you’d likely say something like ‘if they are hurt or dead they are already hurt or dead the only thing that would change is my knowledge of it.’ Your first priority right now is saving as many as you could from this killing game.

·       The next time Ryoma saw you he told you, you were an admirable individual, and that Ryoma wanted to protect as many people as he could, like you, no matter what it took, that would be survival according to you, right?

   Kaito Momota:

·       Kaito didn’t bother looking at the video he had gotten at first, just heading straight for the dining hall for breakfast. There he had learned it was a motive to kill! He was not going to play along in this killing game! That’s just stupid! As they say great minds think alike for you didn’t watch the video you got either. “Seeing the motive would only be useful if A. we all watched each other’s videos so we could all keep each other calm and all mourn our loved ones together, or B. since they all seem to be mixed up, learn more about the others around us so we may help them through this. You can learn a lot about a person through their loved ones.” Now… that was in interesting thought to Kaito. Maybe by watching all your videos together it’d build comradery between you all and strengthen your resolve to defeat Monokuma and his cubs. Or if not, he could get to know one individual so he could help them through this madness better. Teamwork and communication were the most important things needed to get out of here. That was what he thought about as he sat on his bed, holding the pad in his lap.

·       Then Kaito abruptly stood up, tossing the pad aside, thinking this was stupid and to just leave the thing be. Though in the process, the video began to play and before he could stop it, he had learned of it’s owner and how supposedly, no one on the outside cared about you… Whatever, that wouldn’t be the case for long. You’d all be on the outside soon enough so soon you would have people out there who cared about you!

·       After that Kaito changed a little. He became more attentive and spent more time with you. He’d occasionally join you in your training or just chat with you about whatever on your breaks. He soon started insisting on joining you during your meal breaks, rather enjoying seeing you gush over Kirumi’s cooking, explaining how it was so much better tasting than what you had often scavenged for yourself. You even ended up starting to teach Kaito some survival techniques, this was rather fun since Kaito was already somewhat educated on the subject, being introduced to it through astronaut training, he was able to easily understand some of your more complicated techniques.

·       You were not sure why Kaito had started this, but when he invited you to join him, Shuichi, and Maki for more training in the evenings… it warmed your heart. If only one good thing came of this mess, you at least got the chance to connect with others again. This… was rather rarer and special for you.

   Kiibo:

·       The motive video. Kiibo was rather hesitant to look at it, but in the end, he decided to watch it. Knowledge is power, so knowing what was on it would surely be better than not, right? Perhaps this could help him in some way to escape or help the others. All he knew for sure was that he would never know unless he tried. And so he watched.

·       What he saw… it broke his metaphorical heart. You had no one. You were just completely alone… That was a sentiment Kiibo was rather familiar with, though there was a difference. Kiibo, even if he felt lonely so much of the time especially so here, like the others reject him and don’t see him as a person, he at least had Dr. Idabashi and memories of him to hold close, but you… He wondered if you ever felt lonely out in the wild or if it was the only place where you could feel at home because there was no one in society for you.

·       “Hey, Y/N, want to do something together?” That was a phrase you had become so familiar with. At first Kiibo would approach you once in a while which quickly turned to him seemingly spending all his free time with you and no one else. Since he was a robot and training held no purpose for him Kiibo kept count for you. Soon though you felt guilty for him just counting all day so you offered to do other things. “After all, you never know what knowledge will come in handy. Who knows, maybe knowing how to do underwater basket weaving could save our lives one day!” “… Y/N, I can see no scenario where that could ever be a possibility.” “Oh, Kiibo, my friend, you’re too closed minded. Skills can be applied to many situations, knowing how to underwater basket weave can have applications in other places, like knowing how to hold one’s breath for a long time, how to see or at least get a feel for the area around you while underwater, or the obvious, just weaving baskets.” Though your example was silly Kiibo found your argument logical and went along with it.

·       Sometimes you’d go read in the library, sometimes you’d cook together, others you’d search through the storage room and see whatever for the sake of seeing if Monokuma had hidden anything dangerous there, other times… you just go for a walk around the grounds, talk like you were some place else, perhaps a school and you were just two teens at break time, pretend you were in a better world and forget about your reality for a moment. Those were both your and Kiibo’s favorite moments. There was no fear, there was no suspicion, there was no just trying to survive, you could just live peacefully. Kiibo hoped he could have years worth of moments like this with you, were this ‘game’ was but a long-forgotten memory.

[chilly-me-softly]

Can you do a DCL blurb? You see each other for the first time a few months after a brutal break up that was because you accused him of having no time for you and him denying it but now he misses you and regrets not treating you right. He's pretty passionate about getting you back and you've got your walls built high so its a bit of a run and chase and at the end you both make up. Thx

Dom sighs as he looks around the house that is so quiet except for the sound of the rain that has been falling incessantly since that morning. He took a shower after returning from training, grabbed something to eat and plopped down on the couch, shuddering at the thought of going outside to pass the time and maybe get wet again. He literally plays under the worst weather conditions most of the time, yet when it wasn't those ninety minutes everything was less bearable.

Usually on days like that he stayed in the house exactly as he was doing, but in addition he had you. You were there to fill his day and his mind. Even just being quiet was fine as long as he could hold you in his arms. And now he hates those days because they make him think. How he managed to ruin everything and, more importantly, how he didn't notice.

It was a period full of work, after a run of games more than positive he had managed to get a permanent place in the first eleven and was willing to work hard every single day to make the coach understand that that place had always been his. Goals flew in and out and everyone seemed to have discovered what a great talent he was.

He was the first to arrive and the last to leave, always asking the coaches what he could do to improve or his teammates to do some extra training sessions. The call to the senior national team was his next goal.

Everything was going well, it was the best time of his life until that moment. And then came the cold shower. Suddenly he had you in his house telling him that he could no longer go on like that, that you were no longer a priority for him and that you were no longer willing to feel like a spare wheel put there only when he remembered.

In the beginning he didn't want to see the reality, he thought he could juggle his career and your relationship. You had never made a big deal of it before, never even hinted at it, and he thought you just needed some time to get used to the new attention that was inevitably affecting you too. But this had not been the case.

You hadn't met since your break up - you'd only sent him a text congratulating him on his call-up to the national team - not until the day before. But that's not why he's thinking about you. Seeing you again suddenly made him realise what he had been missing in those months, what was that sense of incompleteness he felt in everything he did. It was you.

And he could see it now, how he had put himself and his career first, taking for granted that you would always support him. All the times your eyes had turned off but you kept smiling so he wouldn't see that you were disappointed when he cancelled your plans yet again. You'd always been right and he'd probably blown the best thing he'd had outside of football because he hadn't been able to figure out what he had in his hands.

Was it too late to fix things? Had you already moved on with someone else? Were you also spending hours looking at his pictures on Instagram or your photos in the gallery? Would you have wanted to talk to him? The rain showed no sign of wanting to stop, Dominic's mind kept adding questions with every passing minute creating false scenarios just for the sake of torturing him.

Making things right with you would be his next goal, he had decided at that moment. Because when he set his mind to something he would do anything to get it done and you were definitely worth it. And when he had you back by his side, because he would, he would never stop showing you how much he cared about you. He wouldn't have made the same mistake twice. He just had to be able to talk to you first.

-

"Hi. Can we talk?" he had shown up in front of your house unannounced, determined to at least take the first step for the day. Before his mind could somehow lead him to think that maybe you could be better off without him, that his train had passed, and that you were now happy with someone else.

Finally after what seems like hours, you step aside to let him in and stepping inside a sense of nostalgia makes its way inside him. There's no longer your picture at the front door, the one that always made him crack a smile as soon as he saw it and he's a little afraid to find out what other changes you've made in your life in such a short time.

"I have an appointment in a while so if you could get straight to the point..."

"With a guy?" he can't help himself, and your raised eyebrow tells him that there is a response coming that he won't like.

"None of your business" you reply in fact quite coldly crossing your arms over your chest and assuming your classic defensive posture.

"Sorry" Dom lowers his gaze for a moment, only bringing it back to you as you sigh. "What did you come here for Dom?"

"I just want to talk"

"About what?" you scratch an eyebrow in confusion.

"I figured out what went wrong between us, what I did wrong to lose you"

"Dominic"

"No" he interrupts whatever you were about to say, "please (Y/N), let me talk" you remain silent and he takes it as a sign to continue.

"It took me a while but I understood what you said that day, about how I was only thinking about training and how I gradually left you behind more and more" he studies you for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I didn't want to see it, I couldn't... I really thought I had it all in that moment. But yours was a wake up call, because I didn't really have anything. And if I had kept this up I would not only have lost you, but most likely everything else as well"

"I'm glad this story helped you" you reply not wanting to give him any satisfaction and not letting your guard down for a moment.

"I want to fight, to improve myself and for both of us" for the first time Dominic takes a step towards you and you hold out an arm forward to stop him. He kind of expected it but it still hurts.

"It's not with two words that you're going to fix this"

"I know, I know I've screwed everything up badly. But I really want to make things right between us. So just in case what's coming up is a date with a guy... well don't get too attached" he winks at you before deciding to leave, that's enough for a first time. He needs to take you gradually or he'll never get those walls down.

Anywone wants a part 2? I think I didn’t fulfill my task here but it was getting too long 🙈

Part 2