#gwen living her life! (or at least taking the first steps)

[gregmarriage]

how does one not feel guilty about the possibility of leaving home and actually having a life?

[theangelicimp]

Quiet As a Mouse, Loud As a Lion

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Summary: (based on a request from @a-kind-pandemic-disaster) You’ve had a stutter for as long as you could talk, and unfortunately people aren’t always kind about it. Luckily there happens to be someone who’s an exception to that rule.

Word Count: about 1100

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Black!reader, Hobie Brown x Black!reader

Warnings: none, aside from people being rude about reader’s stutter, reader has spider-powers and a specific code name in Hobie’s section

Request: here

AO3: here

Hobie Brown

Joining the Spider Society was one of the biggest moments of your life, right after becoming the Phantom Spider

It changed your life in many ways, but there were some things that never left

Namely your stutter

At this point in your life you understood that it wasn’t your fault and it didn’t make you any less of a person, but still it left you shying away from interactions

And sometimes it only took one bad comment to ruin your day

Like the first time you went to the Spider Society’s headquarters

You were already overwhelmed at the sheer volume of all the people there, and the prospect of introducing yourself only made things worse

So when you opened your mouth to say, “Hi-hi, I-I’m Phantom Spi-Spider!”

And the response was, “What kind of Spider-Man has a stutter?”

It was just the last push needed to send you into a spiral of anxiety

But before you could be completely consumed in stress, someone stepped in to help

A hand slapped down on your shoulder and a raspy voice, said, “Oi, oi, what’s goin’ over here? She don’t believe in consistency and neither do I!”

It was so out of the blue, it snapped you completely out of your funk

You came to know him as Hobie Brown, and he would become another big change in your life

When people talked over you, he was the one to speak up for you: “Think Phantom had somethin’ to say. Maybe dial down the wanker act, yeah?”

When you stumbled on your words, he was always willing to wait: “Take your time love, I’ve got all day to listen.”

It seemed inevitable that you would fall head over heels with him

It was actually kind of embarrassing how fast it happened — which is why you decided to stay silent about it

That is until Miles Morales showed up

It was no secret that Hobie didn’t agree with how the Spider Society did things, and you were right along with him

Spider-Man was supposed to be kind above all else, and there was nothing kind about this group

When Gwen Stacy went about setting up her rebellion, you and Hobie were right beside her

As everyone geared up to find Miles, you pulled Hobie aside

“Hey-hey, I’ve go-got something import-portant to say.”

“You got a crush on me? Yea, I already know.”

You just gawked

Turns out you weren’t as subtle about your feelings as you thought you were

You wanted the ground to just swallow you up, but Hobie does he always does and snapped you out of it

“C’mon, we can have a date once we’re done punchin-up O’Hara.”

He kissed you on the cheek and walked over to the portal, with a look on his face that said “you coming with?”

You took his hand wordlessly, and you walked through as a couple

Eddie Munson

You were used to living your life as a wallflower, on account of your condition

Years of speech therapy had amounted to nothing and now you were coming up on your senior year, with a stutter just as strong as ever

You knew having a stutter meant nothing, that it was just the way you talked, but it still didn’t do wonders for your self esteem when people made fun of you for it

You had resigned yourself to being a social outcast for the remainder of high school, with only the hope that adult life would be somewhat kinder to you

Your first day at Hawkins High started out on a high note (at least by your standards)

You managed to get by without having to introduce yourself, and no one ever called you to answer questions

But once time came along you were left with a dilemma; where do you sit?

Even if no one was looking at you, you knew everyone was waiting to see what clique you would align yourself with

You decided to sit at an empty table but then your eyes were drawn towards a table just a few feet from yours

It was full of boys all wearing the same “Hellfire Club” T-shirt, but the one that caught your eye was the one boy with long hair and silver rings on his fingers

As you watched him jump animatedly around the table, he suddenly turned and looked at you

He winked, and your cheeks warmed

You learned his name was Eddie Munson after overhearing it from some classmates

You didn’t know it yet, but this would become the start of something special

For the next month things would continue like this, a series of flirty almost interactions and you being caught off guard every time

It was torture because it seemed to come to him so easily, and you could never work up the courage to say anything to him

But what was even more torture was when your English teacher decided to partner you up with Eddie

Some boy — one of the wannabe cool kids you think — piped up, “Looks like you’re stuck with the Freak, huh?”

“Um, I-I wouldn’t ca-call him that, e-exactly.” You mutter in response, not loud enough that anyone but you would hear

Then Eddie threw an arm around your shoulder (and made your face hotter than an August afternoon)

“What would you call me then?” He said with a sly smile. Turns out someone did hear you

You couldn’t even form words after that

Thankfully he finally had mercy on you when the bell went off, which you gratefully took to flee to your locker

It was the end of the day, so you might have been able to get home without losing your composure again

But you should have known it wouldn’t be that easy, because when everyone had left Eddie stopped by your locker

“So any particular reason you don’t wanna talk to me?”

You knew this conversation had to happen one day, but you had somehow managed to trick yourself into thinking you could get by with your head down

You could try to lie your way out of it, but you’re not stupid enough to try it and Eddie’s not stupid enough to believe it

“I-I do wan-want to-to talk, but peo-people aren’t al-always nice,” you said quietly.

“Oh.” Suddenly something about the way he carried himself changed

It wasn’t like he had grown overbearing, but more like he was more open now

“I do-don’t mind talking-king to-to you a-actually. Y-you ma-make things a-a lit-litle easier to-to deal wi-with.”

“Mind if make it even easier then? Friday at seven?”

“I’d lo-love to.” And the rest as they say is history

A/N: Finally got this done after it sat in my inbox for almost a year! I'm so proud of myself for finally pulling out of my writing slump🎉🎉🎉 Writing this out meant a lot to me, because I have a sister who stutters, and is struggling to be outgoing because of it, so it really means a lot to me.

[shaevilux]

Doomed by the narrative is a popular, fun trope. It's what superhero movies are all about. If you take the average superhero you already probably would know how their story is, what tragic backstory they had, what events shaped their life, etc.

So what you'll see whenever there's a new story about them is those major backstory elements rehashed or subverted or played with or at least mentioned in some way. Because that's the story. That's the narrative. And the character is established by that narrative and therefore also doomed by it.

ATSV is no different. In fact it goes full meta with it. (There used to be a time when being meta was so cool until it was so goddamn overdone that it became stupid and you just want the earnestness of the pre-meta stories. You can only furiously 'wink wink' and violently*nudge nudge* the audience so much before you lose their interest. Anyway ATSV is fully earnest in it's meta that you don't even register it as being meta until you take a step back and look at the story being told. Like it's a proper metamodernist piece. Also I like how the two great examples of metamodernist media are both multiverse stories. The other being everything everywhere all at once, of course)

What the movie does differently is having how different people react to the 'Doomed by the Narrative trope’ be the forefront of the story. That is the story, actually. It also explores how valid everyone's reactions are. Even Miguel's (my hot take).

Like Peter B has lived as Spider-man long enough and has gone through most of the Spider-Man canon and was in a slump when we first met him. Like he even separated from MJ. But he rolls with it. Because that's just who he is. But now?

It was because of Miles Peter B got back into his groove and found his place again. It was essentially because of Miles he got back with MJ and had a baby and found stability in being himself.

'How do I know I'm ready, Miles?'

'You can't. It's a leap of faith.'

Miguel is angry but resigned because the one time he tried to defy the narrative it fucked everything up so bad. An entire universe was lost because of him. So now he’s doing what he genuinely believes is the right thing to do. He built the spider society to really make sure no one else can repeat his mistake and lose everything. Like what Peter Blond said in the first movie, 'because the only thing standing between this city and oblivion is me' except change 'city' to 'arachno-humanoid poly-multiverse'.

So of course he’s angry when Miles suggests that canon can be changed. That he can deny fate. Both because he’s convinced Miles is wrong and is going to get people killed and also if Miles is right than Miguel has to reckon with the fact that he’s convinced so many Spider-people to just adhere to the canon that had engulfed every aspect of his life now and let their loved ones die because he was convinced there was no fighting the narrative. That not everyone is as doomed as he is. Miles challenging that notion while there is concrete evidence of the notion being correct is cool af.

And Hobie, who probably knows he's doomed but has his own agenda for joining spider society. He's stealing knick knacks, building his own watch and shit. He might accept the narrative but he's not gonna live by it. If the narrative is gonna take him down he’s not going down limp. So of course when he sees Miles rebelling against the narrative he is fully on board. Miles exemplifies Hobie's traits. That is a proper punk.

And Gwen. My god. She escaped her narrative of being a dead spidey gf only to become a spidey trope herself. Seriously, an alternate universe gwen that doesn't die at the bell tower and instead is that universe's spider-woman? How cool is that? Oh wait. Your dad's gonna die and your Peter is also dead. Sorry. Haha.

Anyway, the movie opening with her and us seeing her current mental place was done so well. She misses Peter. She misses Miles. But both of these people aren't in her life anymore. Her dad hates who she is. She's depressed. But she's still spider-woman. And then the story happens and vulture and Miguel and then boom. Her father knows her identity. And essentially disowns her. She flees to the spider-verse. She can't go back home and she’s even more stressed out and angry when she learns that as Spider-Woman she's gonna lose her loved ones no matter what.

She lost Pete. And now she might lose her dad. So now she's in a limbo. By not going back home she is saving her father because he can't die unless she's there to not save him. The narrative will still eventually doom her. But she can put it off by having spider-people adventures and upholding the narrative that wants to doom her. Goddamn irony.

But she stops going along with it when she sees Miles' reaction to finding out he’s doomed. He doesn't give in to the narrative. He doesn't care about canon. He fights back. And that one little push gives her the spark to try and find out just how doomed she really is. And that ending scene when her dad stops being a police officer and really just becomes her dad. The doom lingering over her 'canon event' vanishes. He's no longer the capt stacey doomed to die in a spider story. He's a dad who's accepting his daughter wholly. I fucking love Gwen's whole arc in this movie.

And then there's Miles. Goddamn Miles, man. He was trying so hard to figure out what his narrative even is, but is determined that he can figure it out, that he can spread his wings and manage on his own and find his place and be himself.

Like, I would've written a paragraph dedicated to Pavitr on here but Miles already saved him from the narrative. Pavitr, my wholesome boy I hope you face no strife in life and everything goes absolutely splendid for you at all times my precious baby boy I love him.

Anyway, Miles finding out he's doomed? And how he finds out is from the people he thought would truly understand what he's about? And them not only accepting the fact that him (and all other spider-people) are doomed but going along with it? That has to be the biggest 'what the actual fuck' moment for him. It's so out of left field for him, understandably so. This whole building of heroes are all 'yeah. Peter from universe 573683 can't clock in today. He just lost his uncle' like that's such a fucked up concept that Miles will not even look at the reasoning Miguel or anyone else puts in front of him.

And this radical rejection is the best character take. I seriously seriously can't wait to see the next movie and see just how Miles deals with a narrative hellbent on dooming him. Spider society will be in shambles.

Obligatory 'Do it, Miles. Break the fucking canon.'

This post was inspired by another tumblr post that I can't find but it expressed my thoughts about the 'doomed by the narrative' aspect of it all but not in the words I had in mind so I wrote it myself

[hobiebrownismygod]

Bollywood is Hindi cinema, an entire genre of movies and television shows that are usually in Hindi and tend to contain extremely dramatic fight scenes, colorful dance numbers and are mainly love stories. Bollywood is basically the Indian version of Hollywood, but is well-known and loved in many European and Asian countries. Pavitr, being a Hindi-speaking boy living in India, would 100% watch Bollywood movies or serials. Bollywood serials tend to be very dramatic and corny, which is where I got this HC from!!

The Spider-Gang (spider-teens??) watching a Bollywood Serial!!

Pavitr would be the one who recommended the serial to the gang in the first place. Whenever he's not being Spider-man, hanging out with Gayatri or doing schoolwork, he's watching these corny serials with his Aunt, who always has one playing in the background while she does work. He finds them extremely entertaining and gets pretty emotionally invested in them after a while. He thought that watching this serial with his friends would be a fun way for them to bond over something that isn't that serious.

Gwen would be the kind to get extremely emotionally invested in these serials. From the beginning to the end, she's completely on her toes and fully follows the storylines of all the characters. When she can't watch the show, she calls Pav and asks about the latest episode and makes him give her extremely detailed explanations on all the events that happen in the episodes she missed, no matter how uneventful they were. She seems like the type that would cry if one of the characters died, even if it was a very silly death.

Miles thinks they're extremely similar to the telenovelas his mom and abuela watch, and therefore doesn't take them as seriously as Gwen does because he's seen series like them before. He'd watch them because his friends are watching them, and because Gwen likes it, probably wouldn't have watched it on his own time. He does however get emotionally invested in specific characters. Unlike Gwen, he doesn't care about the entire show, but when something happens to that one character he likes, he goes ballistic.

Hobie thought it was the funniest thing he's ever seen. He seems like the type who'd keep talking during a movie, saying stuff like "That can't even happen in real life" or "how is that even possible?" and would be an absolute pest when you're trying to enjoy the episode. Pav's probably tells him to shut up at least ten times per episode, and he begrudgingly folds his arms over his chest and watches. Even then, he does low-key enjoy watching it, no matter how unrealistic it may be. He thinks their problems are funny.

Margo thinks they're very boring and slow-paced compared to what she's used to. She's the type to like fast-paced action movies and nearly falls asleep whenever the gang is watching these episodes. She does however, like making fun of the dramatic entrances of the "bad guys" in the series, like the mother-in-law, step-mother, etc...and finds them very funny. She and Hobie are constantly talking about how unrealistic the series are to the point where the rest of the gang have to kick them out while so they can continue watching in peace.

Bonus (not a part of the spider-gang but wanted to include anyway):

Miles-42, an avid telenovela fan, gets just as emotionally invested in the shows as Gwen. Although he wouldn't cry while watching it, he would definitely feel very sad the rest of the day if something bad happened to one the characters in the series. He'd mope around and would be tapping his leg in frustration while he waits for the next episode to come out so he can find out what happened to his favorite character (no matter how obvious it is)

Maitreyi (my spider-sona), like Margo finds it a little bit boring. She's more of a fast-paced movie kind of gal and only watches it because Pav, Gwen and Miles like it. She doesn't tend to get invested in the show but every once in a while, a character that she really likes will show up and she'll be a little bit more excited to watch it than usual. She stands while she watches TV though, she doesn't like sitting down, it feels too vulnerable. So while the rest of the gang is all cuddled up in blankets on the couch, getting ready to watch, she's just standing there like 🧍‍♀️ "turn it on"

[brighterdaysarebeforeus]

Found this prompt here and just couldn’t help myself!! This is silly, I think, and maybe a little off character, maybe, but I couldn’t help it. (>.<)

Also as an apology for taking so long with the a/b/o verse, which came out a few minutes ago (and by proxy, taking so long with the a whole new world verse, which should come out tomorrow as well)!!

Enjoy!!

When Hobie imagined being part of theater, he hadn’t quite imagined this; he’d thought he’d spend his time backstage, helping with costume changes or prop handling, maybe even just dealing with the set pieces and set changes.

And that’s sort of what he’s done, if he’s being honest, the past three years or so of theater classes and he’s done a little bit of everything backstage-wise; he’s done lighting and sound, he’s done set building and prop making (though technically the whole class was part of that, so…), he’s done costuming —

And then Gwen, Gwennifer, Gwendolyn (she hates when he calls her random names, it’s great), anyway — then Gwen insisted she needed help with her audition for their production of Cinderella, and Hobie tried to fight her on it but he’d lost. Which, honestly, was whatever because it wasn’t like it was Hobie who was trying to audition, specifically, and so it wasn’t likely Hobie was going to get casted as anything anyway, right?

Wrong. Apparently, dead wrong.

When all was said and done, Gwen got cast as an evil stepsister (how? She didn’t even read for the stepsister?), Pavitr got cast as an evil stepsister (how?), Peni was the fairy godmother (which…ok, sort of worked, that was fine), Margo was cast as Cinderella (that actually tracked, ok), Miles was cast as the evil stepmother (how??), and somehow…somehow Hobie got casted as the prince (HOW?), which…

Hobie tried to fight it, just a little; he didn’t particularly care for being onstage, he was much more used to being backstage with other responsibilities, he wasn’t even auditioning for anything anyway — didn’t matter. Peter wouldn’t let him step down or put, just kept telling him it would be good for him to break out of the shadows one time. Hobie’d scowled at that but, ultimately realizing that it was pointless, just gave in and let it happen.

Might as well, right?

They’d had a couple of good rehearsals thus far, mostly just reading the line from the script book in a circle with each other; they got in trouble several times for getting off topic or ad-libbing stupid lines that would never make it into the final cut (like when they got to the part where Hobie found the shoe after a very long hour of them all messing around and he said, “ah, I’ll let her go, not really worth it, is it?” and made the whole cast burst into giggles; Peter didn’t look amused but Miles did, and Hobie didn’t particularly care how Peter took it as long as Miles thought it was funny).

Honestly, though Hobie liked theater a lot (really he did — the fun parts of building the show before the live event, the stress of making sure things went smoothly once they went live, the joy and melancholy that came with putting on a fantastic show — all of the was great and fun, and Hobie was having the time of his life doing it), he liked being in theater with Miles specifically a lot more. Miles had been Peni and Gwen’s friend first, and had spent the first few theater sessions with them being slightly weary of Hobie while Hobie put his foot in his mouth continually around him, but they were past that now. Partly because it seemed like he had a crush on Gwen and realized after a couple of weeks that Hobie wasn’t trying to make a move on her.

Hobie thought it was mostly because at one point, Miles looked like he was ready to fight one of the other teachers about unfair casting practices, and Hobie had ensured that he knew he was on his side for it if things went down. It didn’t end up in flames, at least, but Miles seemed to be more open with Hobie after that, more friendly with him. And Hobie —

Well. Hobie knew Miles had a crush on Gwen, so that was that, wasn’t it?

Anyway, they’d moved on from regular script memorization onto adding movement to the scenes; the theater was booked for their use, and Pav and Hobie were play fighting on the stage while Gwen shouted encouragements to both boys (“I can’t pick favorites!” was her argument, “you’re both my friends, I want you both to win!” and Hobie had told her “that’s cowards talk, mate!” but she wouldn’t budge up) while they waited for everyone else to show up for rehearsal.

Hobie had just gotten Pav in a headlock, rubbing his knuckles into his hair and mussing it up while he shrieked, when Miles came in followed by Peni and Peter. He looked a bit resigned, calling them to attention as soon as he got the front.

“So Margo had some family thing at home and she can’t make it.” He said, and the teens groaned, “but! We can still get a rough start of the blocking today, and refine it more when Margo comes back, so chop chop!”

“Wait, then who’s gonna play Cinderella?” Hobie asked, jumping off the stage and falling carelessly into the theater seat. The one good thing about playing the prince, in his opinion, was that he didn’t have to be onstage all that much. Just the ball scene, and the final twenty minutes or so, and that was all. Easy, for the most part.

“Uhhh — ”

“I can play her for the beginning part!” Peni volunteered, throwing her hand up. “I’ll just need someone to play opposite of when it’s my turn.”

“Miles can fill in.” Gwen said before anyone else could say anything. She had a glint in her eye that made Hobie uneasy in a way, but he couldn’t put his finger on why.

“Great!” Peter said brightly, clapping his hands together. “We’ll also skip some of the more Margo specific parts she’ll need to be here for, like the ball dancing scene and the monologues she has, and go from there. Let’s go!”

Hobie knew he tuned out most of the rehearsal in front of him; he didn’t really need to focus, his part was only the last bit right now (thanks Margo) so when it was his turn to go up he almost missed his cue. It took Peter elbowing him in the side for him to even look up from his phone, and then to the stage where the group was assembled. Gwen was giving him a wide eyed look, one that read ‘get up here now’, and Hobie only blinked at her for a moment before scrambling up onto the stage.

She and Pav were on either side of Miles, who was sitting in the chair Margo was meant to be sitting in. Hobie frowned a bit, glancing around and realizing that Peni had vanished.

“Just keep going for now.” Peter called out, pencil in hand as he watched the teens onstage. “From your line, Hobie.”

“Right, uh.” Hobie pulled his script out, flipping to the last couple of pages. Gwen smacked her forehead into her palm, loud enough that it echoed upstage, and Pav snickered into his palm. “I do request that every girl in this house try on the shoe.”

“Surely not every girl,” Pav said brightly, “for there are but two here in this household!”

“Then who is this?” Hobie gestures towards Miles, and Peter’s pencil scratched against the paper.

“None but the serving girl, who couldn’t have gone to the ball,” Gwen added, “for she had many chores to occupy her time, and nothing to wear besides.”

“I said every girl and I meant it.” Hobie stepped forward. “Whether she was there or not, she shall try on the shoe.” He kneeled down, blinking up at Miles, who looked like he was embarrassed. Unable to stop himself, Hobie reached out and grabbed Miles’s leg. Miles stared down at him, wide eyed and looking like he would be bright red if he could be, and Hobie pretended to put a shoe on him.

“It fits?” Gwen said, pretending to be startled.

“It fits!” Pav sounded, still, very bright and happy for being a stepsister who wasn’t going to be marrying into royalty.

“You’re the one I’ve been searching for.” Hobie said, standing up. Miles stood up with him, staring up at Hobie, and Hobie pressed his lips together for a brief second before pressing them lightly against Miles’s cheek. Miles squeaked, and suddenly everything stopped; Peter’s pencil against the paper, the quiet squealing that had been coming from Pav from his right, the whispered encouragement from Gwen.

“Ah, this is…a rehearsal, guys?” Peter said slowly from the seats, “there’s…there’s not really a need for — ”

“Right, right, sorry.” Hobie cleared his throat, pulling back and putting some space between him and Miles.

They continued onwards with the scene, though Hobie couldn’t bring himself to look Miles in the eye for the rest of the play and it felt like Miles couldn’t stop staring at him the entire time.

Afterwards, he sort of wanted to dip right away, but Gwen grabbed hold of his arm and was chattering to him about something or other while Pav was talking to Miles by the bottom of the stage.

With a heavy sigh, Hobie patted Gwen’s shoulder and made his way over to where the other two boys were, making Miles fall silent and Pav practically skip away from the two of them.

“Hey, Hobie.” Miles said brightly, shuffling a little and looking shy. Hobie smiled down at him, shifting slightly in place.

“Hey, mate.” He glanced away, to where Peni had rejoined the group magically, standing in a little crowd with Pav and Gwen by the door. “Look, I just wanted to say — ”

“You-You did great today!” Miles said loudly, and Hobie was startled into silence. “I just…I mean, you-you had, like, some real natural kind of movements, for blocking, you know, I don’t think Peter’s pencil stopped moving, like, once, you know?”

“Yeah…” Hobie trailed off, took another deep breath, and said it as quickly as possibly. “Look, man, I’m sorry. About the kiss, you know?” Miles’s mouth slid shut slowly and he gave Hobie a sort of unreadable look. He pressed on. “Peter was right, today was only the first day of blocking? Not even a reason for it, really. Should’ve asked, at least.”

“Well…” Miles took a breath, and it was Hobie’s turn to blink in surprise. Miles glanced at their friends as well, then stood up straight. “If you want, you can-you can get permission. Later. On…on a date?”

“Like a movie date?” Hobie asked, and the breath seemed to go out of Miles all at once. He looked less nervous, somehow, more excited as he bounced a couple of times on his toes.

“Yeah, maybe this Friday?” He added. “At six?”

“At six.” Hobie confirmed with a nod. Miles beamed at him, then leaned up as best as he could. Hobie leaned down a bit to humor him, pressing his lips together to hide the grin that wanted to bust out when Miles pressed his lips against his cheek.

“It’s a date!”

[youlikefanficdontyousquidward]

Summary: Miguel makes a horrible mistake while trying to find the rogue Spider-gang.

A goth!reader x Hobie Brown/ a hint x Miguel too :3c

Reader is pronoun-less but does wear a dress and makeup

Warnings: Violence

Part 1? (Will link to part 2 if I continue this)

It was with some apprehension you peaked round the corner of your door. You'd grown accustomed to Hobie's strange life. In one second and gone the next, with a parade of strange and amazing people needing help.

Some were locals, friends of friends that were down on their luck and needed a sofa to crash on. Other's were... odd. Like the young lady he brought back. Shy at first, with scuffed ballet shoes, an odd costume and sad eyes. She opened up over her time crashing with you, though never with any specifics. Gwen, no last name. An American struggling with her father. The bridge didn't seem burned so you'd often nudge her to try with him, though she brushed those comments off.

She took up drums in Hobie's band and you'd often join them for practice. Sitting drawing on the amps as they played, gently humming along. She became a regular in your home and you loved her like a little sister.

You'd grown very fond of her stories of life across the pond and her little 'friend'. He sounded like an amazing kid, brave, smart, kind. He put you in mind of a certain other kid you'd known as a teen. The crush she had was obvious and you grew to hope she'd be with this boy again soon.

Your own love life was too tragic and you felt vicarious frills though her blushing blustering. You still held a torch for a certain lanky punk living in your guest room. You'd inherited the flat after a grandparent passed and used the space to help your community best you could.

You'd re-met Hobie Brown in a club and were smitten. A mutual friend introduced him as their couch surfer. By the end of the night you were joint at the hip again and he was staying in that empty room.

You loved his addition in your life. He was supportive of your art and helped fend off creeps when you were out. Despite the closeness nothing was ever really said. He'd be all over you one day, then curt the next. Still it was everything to even be his friend... you hoped you were his friend at least.

He'd acted a little off the last couple of days, tense since Gwen had left. You'd suspected it was just lost sleep from taking the sofa while she was here but it lingered.

Then he grumbled to himself about Miles, worrying about the kid. Miles was a name you recognized, Gwen's little crush. Was the kid in trouble? Did he need your help? You'd rounded the sofa, plopping down next to Hobie. The clatter of your jewellery normally heralded your arrival but he jumped at you this time.

"You're keeping an eye out for him right?" You asked, meeting his eyes for the first time in days. The bruised tone the skin took on shocked you. He must really be worried, not sleeping at all by the looks of him.

"Gwen's boy? Right?" You probed again. Hobie's eyes closed, a gentle smile breaking out across his face. In moments like this you remembered his modeling days. God he was gorgeous.

"Course I am." He beamed. You couldn't help but smile back, clapping his shoulder as you stood.

"Good. And you bring him here if he wants, he's always welcome." You added boots clomping back towards your kitchen. You watched his back over the counter as he strode into his room. He looked over his shoulder at the last step, saluting you with two fingers to his temple. Then the door closed, leaving you alone .

For a moment the flat shook, less secure items drifting into the air before clattering back down. You heaved a sigh, shifting to tidy up. He was gone.

For months you both had avoided the topic. He'd given excuses at first but you'd spied the suit under his clothing too often to not know. Still he didn't explain and you couldn't bring yourself to pry. He was spider-man, that much you were sure. Whatever those portal things he and Gwen used were a mystery. You wondered how much he thought you knew sometimes but with the state of the UK at the time you could hardly dwell on things.

It was days again before you saw him, gawking as a whole group of Spider costume clad folk came tumbling out his room. You froze, spoon in mouth at the procession. Still wrapped in a towel, hair soaking from your shower. Spider-folk of all shapes, a baby and... was that a pig?

"Y/n! Hi... um... we...." Gwen fumbled forwards, a tall kid in a black costume trailing after her. You noted their locked hands, one piece of the puzzle coming together for you.

"Miles!" You beamed, swallowing and placing the bowl down. He was taller than you'd expected but the nervous look about him was just as she'd described. You looked the kid over, he was pretty beat up. In fact they all looked worse for wear.

"God Gwen what happened to you lot?" You fretted, turning Miles to get a better look at his scrapes. "Damn let me get the kit." You turned but Hobie caught your hands. He held them, a panicked look written across his face.

"Y/n, I can't explain right now but things are bad, we gotta..." He spoke quickly. Your eyes focused on his hands engulfing your own, he was so close. Sure you'd sat by him before, been pressed up to his chest in crowded pubs and shows but this felt different.

When your eyes darted up to his you noticed the blood trickling from a gash on his brow. The piercing just narrowly escaping the carnage. Your fingers slipped from his hand to hover by the wound.

"The tension!" You heard a boy speak to your left but were too focused on Hobie's serious expression and injury.

You felt your lip tremble a little before the blood drop drifted up. The tell tale shake and gravity change of another portal opening.

"Bathroom now!" You and Hobie barked in unison, coming apart. The Spider-folk, Gwen and him rushing to the door. Miles hesitated to nod to you before being tugged through and the door being slammed.

You fumbled back to your room just in time for the portal opening in your kitchen. You peaked out, a man stood there. Tall, broad and predatory. His eyes darting around the room, locking on the bathroom door.

No!

You stumbled out into the room, hand still gripping your towel, feigning surprise but hiding the fear.

"Oh hey!" You plastered a grin to your face. God you wished you'd have had a minute to get dressed this morning. You had a fair idea who this might be. Gwen and Hobie had complained and joked about this... boss? Miguel, a towering figure with a chip on his shoulder.

"Miguel right?" You engaged again, his attention seemed to have drifted more to you now anyway. He crossed by the bathroom door to stand closer in your living room. "Gimmie just a sec I wasn't expecting anyone yet."

You half shut the door, flinging a loose dress over your body. You couldn't risk leaving him too long in case he went investigating before the others found a way to leave.

Miguel found himself utterly confused at the situation. Sure he'd done a little probing into all the Spider-people he'd allowed into his confidence. You were Y/n, Hobie's MJ, so to speak. He'd only done a brief search, just enough to see you and find out Hobie hadn't told you much. Well so he thought anyway, now you seemed far more clued in.

You seemed too cheerful to really know him properly however. Maybe Hobie was smarter than he'd taken him for and come up with some false life to placate you. He was learning not to underestimate the guy more and more these days.

Miguel eyed photos littering the walls. Mainly of you and Hobie, a few with Gwen, he sneered at them. This punk who'd ruined everything. Miles would have never gotten away without his help, Gwen wouldn't have gotten back to him. Things would've been so much easier if he'd have never asked for his help. How was he to know that this talented Spider would turn out to be such a pain in his ass.

He turned, sensing your return before you popped back into view. The sight stunned him more, not even hearing whatever you were saying. He'd not looked so hard before but now his eyes were glued to you.

In all this time he'd never actually seen you without the heavy goth makeup. Or with your roots showing, a couple of centimeters of true hair colour. How had he not noticed before? Those eyes, he should have seen it sooner. You were the spitting image of his late wife. Just younger and darker dressed.

What a cruel joke the universe was playing on him. Of all the people to get to have you it had to be him. It wasn't fair, he didn't deserve you. Miguel tried to center himself, breathing heavily through his nostrils. God you even smelled the same.

"So... you're Hobie's boss right? He told me all about you, well not all, hardly anything actually... can I get you something?" You rambled, hair dripping onto the light dress.

You were jumping out your skin. Something about his aura was just, threatening? A predator primed to pounce. Then the way his eyes followed you, body stiff and un-moving as he observed you.

Christ you had to keep him stalled here, no telling if they'd made it out yet. Surely they'd have to use the portal thingy right? The strange watch Hobie had started wearing all those months back, right when the strangeness of your life was dialed up.

In an awful moment you spied it on the coffee table. Cursing in your mind you flicked your eyes back to the wall of towering muscle between you and it. He'd relaxed somewhat, eyes still burning into your own but no longer tensed.

Satisfied he wasn't about to pounce you brought the smile back to your lips, raising your brow as if to encourage him to talk. Like there was nothing wrong with having this giant figure dressed in a spider-man costume in your flat.

"Well Hobie's not checked in, worried about him you know?" He spoke, his voice gruff at first until he cleared it. He smiled at the end, an oddly charming look to him.

"Oh?" You hummed trying to make the walk over to the table as casual as possible. You bent gathering a scattering of papers you'd drawn on. You slipped the watch on top, pulling the bundle to your chest. "He seemed fine when he left this morning, sure he's not..."

You froze as you turned, voice catching in your throat as you turned back to a face-full of pecs. You stumbled back, clutching the hard lump to your breast as your breath began to quicken.

Miguel stalked after your retreating form. He'd suddenly become bashful at your bent form, the light linen unbeknownst to you giving him too much of a view of your rear. His eyes had flicked trying desperately to focus on anything else. They'd caught a light red stain on the hem, frowning with concern turned rage as he followed to your fingers on the paper.

A smear of red across it, the copper stink of that punk lingering there. He strode forward stopping short of you. What was he really going to do? He didn't want to threaten you. Still he knew Hobie had been here and recently by the freshness. He had to find out what you knew.

He hated the look of fear that flashed across your face, the way you stumbled over the table leg to back up but he couldn't stop. He stalked closer, matching every step back with his own pursuit. His strides were longer and in a matter of seconds he had you against the kitchen counter.

You stared up at the flaring nostrils, the bared teeth, fangs. A lump in your throat ached, your heart thundering against your chest. Gwen joked about him being a vampire, Count Hard-ass she'd laughed, making fangs of her fingers. It wasn't so funny now.

"Get away from her!" Hobie bellowed, the bathroom door flung clean of it's hinges as he burst out. Miguel whipped round and in that moment you flung the watch to him.

"Run!" You screeched, darting round Miguel in a second to attempt block him.

The sound of the portal opening rung out, the floor rattling worse than ever before. Paper, guitar picks, paints all drifted into the air. You could hear a commotion behind you. Shoes scuffling, pleading but you kept your eyes locked of Miguel.

He watched in a fury as Miles caught the watch and began to try escaping. His path was blocked though, your smaller frame darting in his way, keeping yourself between him and them. Enraged he growled, unwilling to barrel past you, locking eyes with Hobie.

Gwen and that black and white spider-man had him by the arms, attempting to drag him towards the rest of the group. He was pointing out over her head, right at Miguel. His face contorted with a rage he'd never seen on the guy. Still they made there way closer to their exit, Miles and the others already gone.

Miguel tried once more to round you but a pair of small arms wrapped around his waist. You screamed, forcing all your weight against him, desperate to delay him long enough.

Miguel froze, the memories of his you flashing through his mind. Your arms wrapped around him as he made breakfast. Groggy good mornings and kisses, you violently being ripped from him, the hole it'd left. Then the pain all over again when he lost the 2nd chance with you. The very future Hobie would bring you again by helping this anomaly.

He flung you aside and in an instant he realized his mistake, as his clawed hand raked across your face. The screams mixed, your pained screech, Hobie's yell, his own shout. Still it was too late they made it through, Hobie and his eyes still locked on your body as it hit the ground.

You crumpled against the floor, the blood splattering up white wall and against the wooden floor. Then the portal closed and everything fell.

In the sudden silence Miguel stared at your prone body on his knees. He glanced down at the bloodied claw, retracting them in.

"Y/n?" He tried, voice barely audible. He leaned forward into a crawl, shifting closer. How could he have done this, those idiots, if they'd have just listened to him! Why did they have to go dragging you into their mess.

His hand hovered unsteadily over your shoulder, your head lifted. Miguel swallowed hard at the deep scores against your face, just barely missing an eye. This was gonna be fine, he could take you back, the medical help in his world was the best, you'd be fine.

Bleary eyes refocused on his figure, hunkered down over you. You shrieked, scrambling back, hands coming up to clutch your face. You wailed curses at him between tears, begging him to leave.

Miguel rose, still on his knees watching you curl into a tight ball as far as you could get from him. "If you'd just let me..." he began.

"Get out!" You shrieked, a manic tinge to your voice. Miguel's heart sank, a sick feeling in his gut as he stood. He turned, stalking as far away as he could before opening the portal back to HQ. He took one last glance past the spilled paint and broken door. In all his time with different yous, he'd never seen you so afraid. He wanted to reach back out but he knew he couldn't, so he left.

Part 2??????

[the-sweet-hibiscus]

2023 fic round up

borrowed this idea from several people but specifically @liminal-zone @softlighter @conundrumoftime & @thecoziestbean

Fanworks

posted

Baby, I'm Jealous (LOTR | Haladriel | step-cest | Rated E)

Eyes to Welcome You Home (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | Age-gap | Rated E)

It's a vicious cycle, baby (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | step-cest | Rated E)

Belonephobia (Marvel / Spiderman | Migwen | non-con/kidnapping | Rated E)

je te vuex (discontinued) (Shadow & Bone | Darklina | Best Friend's Brother | Rated E)

Mountain Glory (Call of Duty | Simon "Ghost" Riley/OFC | One Bed Trope | Rated E)

wips

• Lost In Translation (LOTR | Haladriel | the all too well AU)

• Take Me (In the Midnight Hour) (LOTR | Haladriel ) In an attempt to find herself, Galadriel ends up in the tangled web of lies orchestrated by the man she thought didn't exist.

• Lose Control (coming back to AO3 in 2024) (LOTR | Haladriel | Dystopian ABO) Galadriel starts to question the legitimacy of the City after witnessing the harsh treatments of Alphas that come to her door. With the mounting coldness and hostility coming from her family and her government, Galadriel must choose between acceptance or trusting Halbrand and the alphas in the Lower City.

• Untitled (Marvel / Spiderman | Migwen) Detectives Miguel O'Hara and Gwen Stacy must work together to solve a series of murders while denying their own pasts with each other.

• The Office (Marvel / Spiderman | Hobbie x Margo)

• Crimson Clover (LOTR | Haladriel)

Total number of completed works/fandoms written in: 6 Complete Works (5 technically), nearly 57K words combined; 3 Shadow & Bone, 1 Marvel / Spiderman, 1 LOTR, and 1 Call of Duty

OVERALL THOUGHTS: I'm slow but I still like (most of) what I published. Also clearly not built for non-explicit writing.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED: Eyes to Welcome You Home might be my favorite of the year. It was written during one of the worst trips of my life to bury my aunt, and I think that it helped at least keep me distracted enough from grief to help my family where needed. My favorite part was the hopeful ending.

MOST POPULAR: It's a vicious cycle, baby with 246 Kudos. This was part of the Darklina Spring Fling and probably the last time I was my most active in the darklina fandom. I was a silly goober for posting early and not understanding how to post to the collection. In my defense, I am just a baby.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT: OOOF this is hard. But! I have to give it to Mountain Glory, when OFC watches Gaz jerking Soap while Ghost fucks her? It's called team bonding.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE: Another win for Mountain Glory. Probably my least second (eighth) guessed story? And probably the quickest one, where the words came easily and I didn't spend two months debating if it made sense.

HARDEST: A tie between Eyes to Welcome You Home and Belonephobia because they both came during a heavy time in my life. Like many 2023 was filled with loss but for as hard as they were to write I'm glad I did.

BIGGEST SURPRISE: This is so hard! But I think the reception to Belonephobia! I was so critical of it, especially with using a beta reader for the first time in a long time so when people seemed to enjoy it I was floored.

DID YOU TAKE ANY RISKS IN WRITING THIS YEAR? I think branching further in to actually doing multi-chapters? I stuck to posting longer one shots but towards the end of the year I really started planning and writing my first long multi-chapter fics.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY: Lose Control (recently hidden, sorry) has a lot of direct correlation to how I feel about living in America this year. Take Me more closely resembles my relationship with alcohol so there's that lol.

FAVORITE LINES/SCENES: Ooo okay okay okay. I'm going to have to cheat and pull from Lose Control. It's the scene where Galadriel first sees Halbrand, and I just really like how it came out.

But the young collector looks up, for just a second. My heart beats loudly in my chest, filling my ears with the sound of rushing water as our gazes connect. It could not have lasted more than two seconds, but it felt like an eternity. There is something that comes, unbidden, from the recesses of my mind. Alpha.

The word pushes through as if breaking through a dense fog. I nearly scream, frightened by the uncontrolled thought that threatened to seep out of the confines of my mouth. The Zevalise should've prevented it. The Zevalise was supposed to be stronger than our urges. Stronger than the genome. The young collector's eyes bulged minutely – as if he could hear the dangerous thought take shape inside me. He turns abruptly, and his partner takes the case.

They leave, and my mother turns to fuss at me again. She's speaking again, but it doesn't register.

I am frozen. Deaf to the world as I tried to piece together what just happened. I tried, in vain, to understand the thudding in my chest, the rapid decentralization of all my senses from just the connected sight of an alpha. My mouth dries out, and I gaze blankly into my mother's eyes as she makes her final adjustment. I hope she doesn't see right through me.

I wish for no one to see me at all.

MY FAVE PART OF FANDOM IN 2023: Meeting some of my favorite people via the Haladriel & Darklina fandom! Some of the most accepting people I know and I love them dearly for being there during some of the craziest moments. A lot of times it felt like I was going insane with other people in the fandom spreading lies & contextless biases. But it was nice to have people who could objectively come together and acknowledge that "no, I see it to. You're not alone in this."

2024 WRITING AMBITIONS: I'm going to attempt to 1) Write every weekday and plot/edit on weekends, 2) post a completed multi-chapter (more than 5) work, and 3) write at least 100K this year. But most importantly, I would like to actually take more time in editing/writing, and just generally improving.

2024 FICS ON THE IMMEDIATE HORIZON: I don't plan to post in January, however, my next one-shot is likely the Brother's Best Friend Call of Duty AU with Ghost x OFC.

[trumai-jpg]

SPECTACULAR

Chapter 1: Prologue

Master Post: Link

AO3: Link

Summary:

EARTH 65γ, Gwen Stacy is a seventeen-year-old high schooler juggling the life of an indie band's drummer and the superhero phenomenon Spider-Woman. She struggles to balance her two lives as they become closer and closer to intertwining - with her own father hunting her down, she makes friends with some and enemies with others all in an attempt to keep the city safe and take down the Kingpin.

For a while now, a certain drummer has had a theory;

The theory goes that any fortune granted upon Gwendolyn Stacy– an inverse of misfortune will be bestowed upon Spider-Woman. It’s as if the macrocosm destined it to be this way. Spider-Woman will never-ever get a break. If Gwen Stacy finds someone to fall for, they’ll transform into a massive-mutant-monster. If Gwen Stacy finds a moment of peace in her day to day life, she’ll be hunted by the police during that same night as Spider-Woman. It was truly an impossible task to live a life like this but hell, Gwen tried. Some days she hoped, she prayed– hoping to just get through a normal day as a normal girl– days like today. While thwipping and swinging across the city and stopping crime was fun, it wasn't like she didn't have her own life, as a matter of fact her band - The Mary Jane’s - were on in a little over an hour. It was their first solo gig if you could believe it. Nowhere fancy keep in mind- it was just for some trashy club down on Electro Avenue, but this was a serious deal to them! Especially Em Jay, the group’s singer and namesake. Sure- she's missed the occasional practice session, but this was serious! What would the others do without their drummer?

“-and that's why I really gotta get a move on with this, man.”

and there she stood, in the flesh - her outfit radiating white, pink and black. Homemade, stitched together with a mix of materiel as the silky black of her suit shined. Lenses modified from old sunglasses till they were almost unrecognisable, this was undoubtedly New York’s Spider-Woman - and it had been for the last two years. “I mean, you get it, you're a busy guy, ain’chya Herman?” She asked, as a man in his twenties was completely pulled from his feet within an old liquor store- made sense being just near Electro and the amount of clubs around that area, they were bound to make a lot of money… though it seemed like Herman Schultz thought that too. His body dangled upside down in the middle of the store, dropping his handgun to the floor as the elderly owner watched on. Technically she shouldn't even be in here- she WAS only seventeen… ah, I'm sure the owner didn't mind much, after all she did just save him from a robbery. This was the third time Spider-Woman had the displeasure of coming face to face with this petty robber, so you could say things were getting pretty serious between them now, huh.

“I seriously gotta run– but the police will be here soon so just hang in there dude- don't rob people.” Spider-Woman spoke backwards, stepping out of the store with a ding of the bell as she opened the door inwards. She just couldn't help herself- as if in good conscience she could just leave a cosy little store to get robbed just so she could hurry along to her own duties. That's not the type of person Gwen is, not at all. Lucky for them all, this store - and by extension club - was only half a mile out of Chelsea. Without much time to spare, and a quick undressing with a change of clothes from her backpack down a famously safe New York alleyway, Gwen Stacy was finally ready to make it to her performance, a black and red shirt with her band’s own logo printed across the front- heh, so professional…

The “club” was more like a basement, a staircase leading down below one of the many buildings in the area. Out of all the spots, this one was by far the least popular… well, like Em Jay always said: gotta start somewhere. Reaching the staircase, Gwen would be witness to an eccentric man dressed head to toe in bright lights, and by far the most into the atmosphere, or he would if it wasn't 7:30 in the afternoon and the sun hadn't even set properly yet. He blocked the entranceway, black hair jolting out from his massive head of hair, a similarly coloured beard braided down his face, and a green and yellow bodysuit bore witness to the young hero stood before him.

“Hey- heyheyhey- you got the password, lady?” The man asked, leaning down to Gwen’s shorter stature.

“The… passw-” Gwen was more confused than anything. “Max, it's me- the drummer– playing tonight, we've met.”

‘Max’ stared at Gwen like she just dribbled over her own shirt. He was either as high as a kite or something was off with him. “Oh, yeah right- rightrightright, yeah, okay you're good.” I mean, why would you even need a password to get into this place? There were maybe twenty people tops and it was more of a bar with a ten foot wide dancefloor. Hardly the ritz… with a sigh, Gwen took the plunge down half a dozen sets of stairs, opening a door wide to lead to one of the most lifeless lodges this side of the city. There were multicoloured LEDs along the bar, yet the yellow-tinted light bulbs were still turned on, half the people here were friends of the band who had begged to come- Gwen knew a few; Amelia, Ned, Lacey, Cindy, Maya, and of course…

“Dad, hey-...”

She seemed a little out of breath, be it from her little scuffle minutes before or having to try and talk with that Max guy. George Stacy, her father was waiting here the longest, getting off shift early just to see her show. Gwen leaned in for a quick hug, her father double her size and triple the width. He definitely looked like a police captain, especially with his uniform still on. He must have come here just from work. “Are Em and the others-”

“Oh- oh yeah, yeah, they're just backstage.” He replied, pointing to the ‘stage’ opposing the bar. “Did- you… run here?” He asked with a slight chuckle under his breath.

“Ah, yeah- you know, yeah-” She cleared her throat, teal Converse tapping at the wooden floor to get backstage and start preparing before being on in… how long now, ten minutes? “I-I’ll catch up with you soon, just- yeah, wish me luck!” Hah, god it was hard to lie to him. Gwen shot two things thumbs up in Captain Stacy’s direction, quickly turning to make her way to the illustrious backstage, which was just as grimy as you could imagine. Before speaking a word, she breathed in deep, straightening out her t-shirt and throwing that backpack of hers to the side. Three silhouettes greeted her, all in the same apparel.

“...Look, I'm sorry I’m late, okay?” Gwen grunted, pushing her back out in an attempt to stand up straight, cracking it in the process.

“Well well, glad you could fit us into your busy schedule, darling.” That was Gloria, more well-known as Glory Grant, and god did she just reek of sarcasm.

“Glory-” another voice perked up, this time the lead singer and namesake, a huge afro of red spreading out wide as the Band’s shirt was cropped and tied around her waist, letting her stomach stick out. It wasn't typically a bigger girl like Em Jay was so confident in herself but goddamn did she own it. Dark skin, dyed hair and messy makeup gave this chick her signature look, and after scolding the group’s guitarist she turned to Gwen. “She's right though, where the hell have you been?”

Gwen struggled to come up with an excuse, stuttering and muttering. “I just had to take care of some stuff, I'm here- aren't I?” She snapped back at the two.

“Maybe she was doing drugs…” The final voice was Betty Brant, a year below the other three, and the band’s keyboardist, her mind wandering as she tapped a number of keys seemingly randomly, preparing for their little showing.

“-Oh my God, are you high right now?” Em Jay spoke up again, with a tinge of worry - not much for Gwen’s wellbeing of course, but for the quality of her performance.

“I’m-! I’m not on drugs, Betty-” Indoor voice, Gwen, she reminded herself. “Is there anyone out there that we don't know?”

“Do we know Mr. Dillon?” Betty replied. All the while Gwen was pacing past her and peaking through some curtains they had backstage to see the crowd. Gwen’s head poked from the curtains along with Betty. Luckily for them, there were a good three or four strangers just in here for a drink. Surely they must be wondering why a dozen high school kids and one old policeman were in here too, especially with how unpopular this spot typically was.

“He doesn't count-” Glory spoke up, peeking behind the velvet blinds. “Christ, this is embarrassing.” She scoffed.

“A crowd is a crowd.” The redhead whispered, coming from above, Em Jay’s head was the fourth and final to poke out, all leaning against one another like some sorta old cartoon, Gwen being at the bottom of course. “Two minutes now...”

The quartet moved away from the flashy blinds, the four girls in matching tees had been a ‘band’ for a while now, but they never really… played. They practised and wrote lyrics and had fun with it, sure - but when Betty came to them explaining how she found a shithole on Electro Avenue willing to hear them play they scurried to get enough practice in to blow away just about everyone. They went around the school hanging up fliers, begging friends and family to come - and here they were. Even if they sucked, it wasn't all that bad, they were playing at a real club, right?

“Okay- everyone ready?” Em Jay turned to the rest of them, her pianist, guitarist, and of course - drummer, smiling optimistically.

“Mhm.”

“Course.”

“You know it.”

With that - and the flick of a switch - the lights in the room went out, leaving them with atmospheric colour-shifting LEDs and bright neon. The owner of the place, Max Dillen would make his way up to the stage where a keyboard and drums were already set up. He stood just on the edge with long pointed shoes going over the line, facing this crowd of acquaintances. Nearing a microphone, he leaned into it - coughing into it whilst reverb spread across the entire room. He wore sunglasses in the dark and his entire suit was glow in the dark - the man was bizarre to say the least.

“Alrighttt, hope everyone's doing good!” The band watched on in anticipation whilst the owner staring off into space. “The band tonight needs… no introduction- but I'm gonna give them one anyway, uh- straight from Midtown High School, christ-” He paused. “We have…” Max took a moment, his palm raising close to his face, staring down at it with a confused look across his face. “...Mary and the Janes… alright, come on out girls.” He clapped, slowly making his way off stage.

Em was the first to complain. “WH- that's not even–”

“Yeahyeah, I know- just let him be.” Gwen shook her head, shooting Em a gentle smile as she walked out from the curtains, they all did. Em Jay standing tall at the front, holding onto the microphone with both hands, Glory standing tall next to her with her dad’s guitar in hand. To their singers left was Gwen on the drums, and the guitarist’s right was Betty on the keyboard. There was some awkwardness in the air as they all took a moment to adjust to their positions, tuning their respective instruments up until they were ready to begin. With lights shining on the four girls, Em Jay’s gaze turned to Gwendolyn - all of them did… right. It was her job to start out, wasn't it. With the rush to get here she was scared to death she would mess up. It wouldn't be so bad if these were strangers but she had science class with Cindy, man…! If she embarrassed herself here it'd be a real big issue. Hopefully, their eyes just stay on Em Jay. She could only pray. Gwen cleared her throat, held her sticks tight, and let her instincts take the wheel.

“...ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!”

This was the life of Spider-Woman. When she wasn't escaping the jaws of death by the skin of her teeth then she was losing sleep and missing deadlines. For every act of good Spider-Woman accomplishes, an act of misfortune is experienced by Gwendolyn Stacy. Yet she didn't complain, this was her decision after all. If it was for the sake of others, she would gladly bear the burden of the title Spider-Woman. Things weren't all bad though- I mean look at her, smashing on cymbals and absolutely crushing it on drums. Being a part of a band for her has been a dream of hers since… forever, man! Ever since what happened to Peter, this is all she's really had, and believe me she is well aware of how sad that sounds. What was important is she kept this balancing act up - a life as Spider-Woman and a life as Gwen Stacy. She's not an Avenger, she's not even really a mutant - if anybody found out about these powers then who knows what they'd do? No, she didn't have the privilege of protection like Tony Stark did, she wasn't a masterclass hero, sometimes she struggles to even be good, but hey - she tried. She's really, really trying, to be a drummer for a band and saving the city from maniacs time and time again, even if it would kill her.

That was the responsibility of Spider-Woman.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Genesis —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: @siriuslysirius1107​ THERE IS A CHAPTER BEFORE THIS ONE MAKE SURE YOU’VE SEEN IT -Danny

Words: 1,931

Phase Six Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘CVS’ -by Winnetka Bowling League

xxxi: Something Else

Parker was so delighted about eating in a fancy restaurant for the first time in years that eventually she got infected by it. He was being transparent with his fun, sharing his free time with her was all he wanted and he was clearly taking advantage of every little moment.

Most of the night was wasted just talking, which was weird, cause Cat wasn't that kind of talker and Parker was afraid of scaring her off by making an out-of-line joke again, but they still couldn't shut up.

Cat felt guilty for freaking out, she was always blurting out hurtful things whenever her friends opened doors she made a point to keep closed. It got her thinking, wasn't the whole point of her latest mission to open new paths?

"You know..." she began. "If you really plan on coming every month or so... at least do it during the weekends or holidays. Getting a doctorate ain't easy."

Parker stared at her in surprise, he blinked a couple of times before replying. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. I'll do that."

Cat waited, but when she realized he was too busy staring she pressed. "I don't have to worry, right? You won't cause trouble."

"Yeah, no," Parker chuckled. "Don't worry, Jane Doe. Just like when you were in my universe, I'll take care of it, you don't have to worry about it."

"I hope so," she sighed, pushing the food around on her plate. "If you're going to be risking the stability of time and space, at least do so in a wise way."

He laughed quietly. "You got it."

As they left the restaurant, Parker stepped closer to her out of instinct. He glanced down and noticed she was snuggling closer to him as well, locking her arm with his. "Aren't spring nights supposed to be less cold?" She complained though it was actually her anxiety making her shiver.

"Sometimes," he smiled down at her trembling figure. "If we walk fast we may get warmer."

"Let's get going, then!" she huffed. "I should've brought a sweater..."

Parker's eyes glanced down at her sundress, and he looked like he was very glad she had forgotten to. "Sorry for upsetting you before," he said. "I thought you'd laugh... but now that I think about it, I guess it triggered you."

Cat stared at him not getting what he was saying, he'd left unsaid essential parts of his message. He groaned in frustration, took a breath, and tried it one more time. "I don't dream about you dressed in white. That's just— that's absurd."

"I never talked about marriage with anyone, not seriously," she replied, finally understanding. "I used to joke about it with Pete, but I mean... we also said we'd live with MJ and Ned, and we'd have lots of dogs, so it wasn't like... real plans. Even if some part of me liked the idea."

"Oh?" He tilted his head. "Oh. I'm... so then..."

"I'll save you the trouble of rambling nonsense," Cat snorted. "People used to joke about our wedding when we were kids. I freaked out cause I thought you were telling your aunt some story like they used to—"

"Oh, crap, no," he put a bit of distance between them. "I'm not insane—"

"Meh," she shrugged. "I don't think you're reasonable, either..."

"Let's go back to your story," he replied with a frown, but also smirking.

"I don't really do those kinds of plans... sharing a life with someone and committing to some type of forever... I'm way too independent and impulsive for that. I can't make those promises anymore."

He nodded, thinking it through. "Yeah, even when I was dating Gwen it was hard to be sure of our future."

Cat frowned. "You were going to move out of the country with her."

"Your Peter was about to leave New York for college at some point, but that didn't happen, did it?" he raised a brow. "My point is, sometimes Gwen needed me and I wasn't there for her, sometimes I couldn't choose her."

"But she understood."

"Doesn't mean she liked it," his face fell a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "We made allowances because we were in love, but not everyone does that, and when you do, you don't want to do it all the time. It's hard to plan out a future when you don't know if you'll even survive til next week. It's scary."

Cat thought of Matthew, and how hard he'd tried to help her even when he was angry. She remembered cleaning his wounds and asking him to be careful, to not get in fights he couldn't handle alone. She remembered Kate and Peter being reckless, and how she'd valued their happiness over her own safety. None of them was obligated to take care of the other, but they did, and most times it hurt.

"I get it," she meditated. "I'm lucky to have landed with the right people, they're all so willing to stay even when I make things hard..."

Parker smiled. "From what I've heard, this world is full of people willing to risk their lives for you, that counts for something. I'm happy you're starting to understand what that means."

"Huh," she frowned, remembering Shuri's words, that people followed her to battle just because they liked her. "I remember telling Pietro and Wanda that I wasn't fond of humankind when we first met, but look at me now, MJ was right, I'm a bit of a Miss Congeniality."

Cat felt his knuckles brushing against hers and she almost reached out, but she quickened her pace instead. Parker caught up with her effortlessly. "Do you have cookies at home?"

She glanced at him in confusion. "I don't. Why?"

"Let's buy a couple on the way," he grabbed her hand and tugged her forward confidently. "Coffee and cookies are the best way to end a date."

It'd been a long time since Cat had wasted an entire day like that, she was so used to having something to do, so little time to spare, that she wasn't sure it was okay to be doing nothing at all. There were people to call, and plans to make... yet she genuinely enjoyed the little moments of the day. Parker's grip on her heart was firm and determined, and she didn't even know it.

Cat took their coffee and cookies to the fire escape and sat there with Parker on opposite sides of the little structure. She was telling him about Russo, and how easy it'd been when she decided not to kill him. It felt big, even if not much had changed afterward.

"You had a lot going during the two weeks we didn't see each other," Parker's thumb was circling the rim of his cup of coffee, thin vapor rose from it, warming his skin.

She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and Felix was sleeping beside her. He'd hissed at Parker, arching his back as he ran up to Cat to make sure the young man couldn't approach her, Parker didn't even bother to appease the creature, he just sat further away to not stress him out.

"My world moves fast, and I don't take breaks between things..." Cat sighed, absently scratching the cat's head. "I do, sometimes, but the longer it takes for things to happen, the bigger the problem, so I prefer it when there's no pause."

Parker frowned at her explanation, Cat spotted the change in his expression and chuckled, nudging his thigh with her foot. "It has its compensations, don't be sad..."

"Really?" He asked in a dubious voice.

"Well," she took in her surroundings. "Moments like today feel more special. Big problems make the little things in life better."

Parker's gaze softened, it was so easy to read his face, she liked talking to him. "You think so?"

"Let's take a picture before you go," she suggested abruptly. "Harley says he would hate not to have one of me as I was the last time he saw me, in case I die or..." Cat paused, realizing she was ruining the moment.

Parker picked up on her uncertainty and he replied. "Harley's right. What if next time I come you're not here? I don't have a single picture to remember you!"

A shy smile formed on her face. That was the old Parker she'd met two years ago, not the stranger constantly trying to catch her, but the boy who talked her ear off, made her laugh and didn't care if she agreed with him or not. He was much more attractive when he didn't try to fit into her narrative.

"We should call it a day..." Parker grabbed the plate of cookies that was between them, he also took his almost empty cup of coffee and tried to get up.

At the same time, Cat tried to reach for the plate, almost bumping heads. They froze at the sense of proximity, and Cat locked eyes with him. His big eyes reflected the moonlight, and she briefly glanced at his lips. She held tighter onto the cookie plate. "You can take the cups."

"It's fine, I'm sticky."

"You're sticky?" She asked bemusedly.

"I can hold numerous things and they don't slip," he wasn't meeting her eyes, his gaze glued to her hand. "Because of my spider abilities... that's something I do..."

"I prefer my plates with no cobwebs in them," she teased him.

He chuckled nervously, shaking his head a little. Parker shifted his weight from one foot to the other and as he did he ended up even closer to her. "They're not cobwebs, it's like— like a synthetic wire, but I don't need to web anything my fingers have these—"

"Peter."

"Yes?" He asked weakly.

She opened her mouth to speak, their faces were getting closer... and then...

"Mrreow!" Felix jumped onto her leg, bumping his little head against it. Parker gave a start, dropping a couple of cookies in the process.

"Felix!" To her surprise, her voice came out in a tone of annoyance. The cat stared at her with wide, innocent eyes as he continued to purr. Parker mumbled something about doing the dishes and slipped back into the apartment. Cat glared at her pet.

"You cockblocking traitor!" she whispered angrily. "I can't believe he is the one guy you decided to hate."

Felix huffed indignantly and jumped off her. Cat picked up her stuff and went inside, she closed the window behind her after Felix jumped in and curled on the couch. The dirty white feline went back to sleep right away. Parker was washing the dishes.

"Leave it, Bug, I'll do that tomorrow."

"No, it's fine, it's the least I can do after you paid for everything," he said, not even looking over his shoulder to respond. That frustrated her.

"It's okay," she said, walking closer to where he was.

"I'm almost done— No biggie."

She stood right behind him. "Look at me."

He tensed, taking a moment before obliging. Parker turned around and gave her that cute tight-lipped smile. Her heart pounded with anticipation. "I should go," he sentenced.

"Oh," she blinked. "Really?"

Parker seemed amused by her reaction. "I said I would leave, and I promised May I'd be back soon."

"Well, soon is not necessarily right away," she stepped closer, though she did not touch him yet. "You can stay... if you're tired."

Parker hesitated, a smile playing on his lips. "Cat, if I stay, we both know it won't be because I'm tired."

She tilted her face up, but only a little. "It's up to you... you wanted me to trust you, right?"

He bit his lower lip and frowned, staring at her as if pondering his options. "See the problem here is I don't want it to be about me, I need to know what you're thinking too."

"I'll give you a hint," she replied quietly, pulling him down for a kiss.

Next Chapter—>

Taglist.

@mikaelsonwhxrebae @ieatpanicattacksforlunch​​​​ @jesuswasnotawhiteman​​​​ @siriuslysirius1107​​​​ @greengarsstuff​​​​ @itsyagirl01 @23victoria​​​​ @espressopatronum454​​​​ @jkthinkstoomuch @slytherinnqueen​

[growandrecover]

I really want to recover because I feel like my ed is taking over my life, but I’m not even diagnosed and I’ve told very few people about it. I’m still in high school and recovery feels so impossible. How do I even start?

hey, anon.

You don't have to be diagnosed to recover. I wasn't formally diagnosed, but when I started telling the people who worked at my treatment that I had anorexia, they agreed. Idk what that means for me, but technically I wasn't either, so you're not alone. I was in high school as well when I started recovery, my sophomore year, in fact. I totally understand how it feels. It's mind-bogglingly overwhelming, isn't it?

But you're here, asking me for advice, which is already a huge step! That shows that you want to get better and you understand that your ed is all consuming, which I definitely didn't when I started recovery, so that's incredible. I'm really proud of you.

I know that starting off in recovery seems like it'll take forever, especially when you see people who've been in recovery for years. Trust me, it goes by faster than you think.

If you haven't told your parents/guardian, I'd recommend that be your first step. I know that telling them is probably the hardest "confession" you'll have to make (other than the one to yourself), but it's for your recovery, and hopefully they'll be able to help you.

You can skip this part if you've already told them, but let me brace you: they may have a wildly different reaction than you'd ever expect. My mom, one of the most loving people on the planet (in my opinion), reacted in anger, which I totally didn't see coming. Now I know (because she's told me) that she was angry because I'd been lying to her about my ed, and she was angry that I could do that to myself. My dad, on the other hand, reacted softly, and he was very gentle, which I could have never predicted.

If they're able to help, I recommend going to therapy or trying to get into treatment if you can. If you're able, just a heads up: the sign up process is long. There wasn't a waiting list for mine, but it's just an arduous process in general, so it was a few months before I was actually able to go.

If you're unable to go to treatment or therapy, that's okay. You can still recover. I know some people think they can't recover if they don't go to treatment or therapy, but that's not true. Those things are helpful, but not 100% necessary *in some cases.

I'd recommend that you join groups if you have some in your area, or if you can find some online. We don't have any where I live, but you should look into it. Hearing other people talk about their experiences with eds is a powerful thing in recovery. Especially if you have something else in common. For example, in my treatment group, we were all girls, all about the same age, which was helpful, because we could all relate to each other at least on some level.

If you can't do that, I'd advise that you try to educate yourself about the recovery process so you have some kind of idea on what to do in order to get the most out of it. My therapist told me I should get this book, and if you can, you might want to as well. It's called The 8 Keys to Eating Disorder Recovery by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb. There's interactive parts and a list of stages so you can go to the chapter you're in. If you're not a reader (then I'm sorry for making this post so long), YouTube has all kinds of helpful videos, like what to expect in recovery based on the ed you have, Kati Morton, who's a licensed therapist, makes great videos about eds, and if I'm not mistaken, I believe she's had one as well. Seeing people in recovery or just starting out helped me a lot. It kept me inspired, and made it seem less daunting.

If you're a TikTok person, there's plenty of videos about recovery, what people are eating, and how they're overcoming certain challenges they put in place for themselves. (I don't have TikTok so I unfortunately can't recommend certain people, but I did see some of their videos in a YouTube compilation lol)

If you're recovering on your own, I'd say that you should try to challenge harmful behaviors you've created (bingeing, counting, measuring, over-exercising, purging, etc). Of course start small, as discontinuation of any of those things will be scary, but you can do it.

I really hope this was helpful to you, and I wish you nothing but the best in your recovery journey. You're doing so well, and I'm so happy for you, love.

If I didn't answer the question fully, or you want to talk, please feel free to submit another ask or send me a message.

Lots of love ♡

[lamentingwclf]

His relief when she concedes is palpable, but it does not ease the ache in his chest as she settles against him and he wraps his arms protectively around her. He absorbs all the comfort of the embrace, but is suddenly not tired at all. To fall asleep is to end an era of his life that he's not ready to say goodbye to. But he feels when she does - her breathing evening out as she goes slack against him. He stays like this as long as he can before he eases her off and away from him so he can slip from the bed.

It is a very selfish thing he is doing, but he'd told her in not so many words that he wanted to leave on his own terms - it does not help the guilt, especially when she wakes and finds him missing. He knows exactly how used she is going to feel, but it is too late to correct his course now.

Bucky moves silently, aided by the plush carpet, collecting his pieces of clothing and putting them on. His jacket is left unbuttoned, the tie loose around his collar, and his boots in hand. He creeps back over to stand at the edge of the bed and watch Gwen as she sleeps. A smile tugs at his lips as he wonders what she must be dreaming about, hoping it's not something as mundane as taking care of him the next day. He hopes she is dreaming of the bright future she will have - with or without him - and though it is a risk, and she might wake, he reaches out and traces the shape of her cheek with the tip of his finger.

He remembers when they were full, and apple-like with baby fat. He remembers when they began to lose that roundness and became defined. He remembers the exact day his world tilted and he slid, feet first, in love with her. Maybe one day he will tell her, but today, he will devastate her.

His undershirt is discarded, and when he goes to collect his hat, it's the black box next to it that gives him true pause. Bucky sets his boots on the ground, and his hat back on the counter as he takes the velvet container in his hands and opens it. The ring is still nestled inside. He won't wear it, not in the way she wants, but it doesn't mean he won't take it. Reaching for the chain around his neck, he undoes it, and slides the ring around so that it sinks and falls around to the center of his chest. It clinks against his tags and is tucked back beneath his shirt.

The box is left with a note in his neat scrawl. A note he tried and failed to write several times.

I lied to you when I said I would be okay with one night. One night will never be enough for me. If it were up to me, I'd stay. I would marry you tomorrow. I'd stay so we could try and start the life that we should have had. You can be mad right now, Gwen. You can be furious. You can even hate me if it helps, but I'm not going to diminish what I feel for you with a half-assed goodbye. That's not how I want to remember you, and it's not how I want you to remember me. You know I don't make promises I can't keep, so know this, I'm going to come back for you, and I'm going to fight for you. Lord help whoever stands in my way.

As Bucky slips out of her apartment, he makes eye contact with her neighbor. There is a split second of recognition before the man darts back behind his closed door. Maybe he should have contemplated that harder, or felt more guilt, but as is, he is running late. He only has just enough time to get back to his own place, grab his bag, and make it to the docks.

His whole life has been spent taking care of others, and putting them first. It did not mean he was immune from small acts of self-centeredness. Just that in the bigger picture of their lives, he'd always given them everything he could. As he steps onto the ship due to set sail two hours earlier than the one he'd told the others he'd be on, he recognizes what he has stolen from the people he loves, at least the ones that would show. He also recognizes how incredibly shitty it makes him, but in the moment finds it hard to feel regret for what he's given himself - the ability to remember each person in his own way, not marred by uncharacteristic goodbyes.

The laugh that escapes her is pure- far from what has occurred here tonight. It's normal in the face of what was tot come. Bucky's absence and fight to survive, her navigating a world without him on her own while living in the secret of what they'd just done, and having to come to grasps with what this meant. What this could and would mean, not only for her and Bucky, but Harry as well. But right now, it's just them- as if they both weren't laying naked with the other. "I don't understand what is so wrong about asking if there's a difference in feeling or preference. Especially when there is not many people I can ask about the subject."

A slow sigh is given as her humor fades, ready for the tasks she needs to do to prepare him. Her mind is already on making her checklist of what she needed to do in the morning, how to lay out his clothes, what to prepare him tomorrow for breakfast, when to draw his bath, and wake him up early enough so that he has time to go home and be with his family for the final remaining moments before they see him off.

But her intentions are cut short as Bucky snatches her, gasping as suddenly her hands are pinned and she's looking up at him. Her heart picks up it's pace, as it should, as her breath hitches- not quite sure of his next intentions, but his lips slowly help calm her back down. How can she deny his want? Especially when continuing to stay in this bed with him sounded so heavenly.

"Okay," Gwen whispers, a small smile coming to her lips. "Okay...but don't get angry with me if I wake you up earlier than intended." Slowly Gwen rolls to her side, her heart and body content as she slides to press herself against him, her arm draping over his body as begins to feel her adrenaline wear off. "But in the meantime....sleep Bucky....." A sleepy hum leaves her lips, nuzzling once more as close as she can to him. "...I'll see you in the morning.."

[gredandforgeweatherby]

The Girl One Floor Below

Apartment 3C

Summary: Peter Parker helps a girl move in

WC: 1.3K

warnings: A singular swear word, talk of Gwen's death and its effect on Peter (recurring theme throughout the chapters) Not edited because I wanted to pot it today and written over the course of one day so my crappy writting. Takes place after NWH so spoilers if you haven't seen it.

If you haven't seen it go watch it right now, like literally close tumblr and go watch it. It's life changing.

      Peter Parker was tired.

       He was tired of the project Jameson had made him redo multiple times (4 and counting!), despite the fact that he thought it was perfectly fine. He was tired from his multiversal travel, even though he has been back in his own universe for three months now. And he was tired of being alone.

     Now don't get him wrong, he was totally fine with living alone – he had for several years now. He was fine with maybe not getting out as much as he used to or seeing people outside of his work (willingly). The thing that bugged him was – well, it was a combination of things.

Landing in another universe changed him for the better. Seeing the two others Peter’s living their lives happily, or as happily as they could being a superhero, with someone sparked a bit of hope in his heart. They had time for Spider-Man, and they had time for Peter Parker. He hadn’t. Ever since that night in the clocktower, once he managed to drag himself out of the pit of despair, depression, and guilt that Gwen’s death had catapulted him into, he didn’t make time to be Peter Parker. Just Peter Parker. He left the city on its own for a while, and came back more brutal than before. He was the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, but he’s afraid he lost that title years ago.

Gwen was his one – his soulmate, his person, the one he was destined to spend forever and longer with. That’s what he thought at least. But he was older now, twenty-seven going on twenty-eight, and he no longer believed in that. He believed he was meant to fall in love with Gwen, become enamored by her, and then have her ripped away from him in the most gut wrenching way he could have possibly imagined (if he ever imagined it, which he didn’t), and then spend the rest of his life living with that knowledge. The knowledge that as every year passes, he grows a year older while Gwen is forever nineteen. That he lives with the guilt and pain about what happened that night. He believes he was meant to be alone, that the universe wanted to give him a taste of what a wonderful life he could have had if maybe he had never been bitten, or been so selfish, or maybe hadn’t been born with the name of Peter Benjamin Parker. 

The universe could be a real bitch.

But part of him, a small part of him, had been healed when he saved his younger brother’s MJ, preventing him from living the life he had for almost eight years. Peter had found solace knowing that he prevented the youngest Peter from losing his twin flame, and that helped him heal. That had been the first true step in his healing journey, he realized, as nothing he had done before had really helped. The burning pain he once held in his heart and head had become a dull ache spread across his entire body over the years, but a trip to another universe had helped that ache subside just a bit. And for that, he was thankful.

Nine months out from a quick trip of meeting two other versions of him, he was healing. He was getting better. Peter blamed himself less than he had for Gwen’s death, the dull ache had subsided more, and although he knows it will never be fully gone, he’s glad it can become duller and duller until it’s almost absent. He was taking better care of himself, stopping in to see May more and staying longer for visits. Jameson finally accepted the project that had been causing him a substantial amount of grief since he had come back. (He had to do it over five times before Jameson finally deemed it acceptable, although at that point Peter had gotten tired of his shit and just submitted his first version again and Jameson didn’t even know.) He was trying to leave his apartment a bit more for things that weren’t work or errand related, and began decorating his apartment a bit nicer to hopefully bring some light into his life. He was on his way back from the bugle, and was only a few steps away from the elevator of his apartment building when he took a quick look to his left. 

A few feet from his left was a woman close to the same age as him. She was obviously moving in as she had two moving boxes with her, although she was slightly struggling to get a hold on both of them. Her hair was short; dark brown cut to sit a bit above her shoulder, yet most of it was up in a ponytail, the rest sitting against the base of her neck, lightly damp with sweat. She was wearing a tank top and shorts, as it was now July and the heat was brutal, and he could see small beads of sweat collecting at her hairline. Nonetheless, Peter thought she was beautiful.

Looking at her made his heart race, made him feel nervous like he was back in highschool talking to Gwen again. He noticed his palms beginning to sweat and wiped them on his jeans as he debated going over to talk to her. He had almost decided on no when he had thought back to what the eldest of the Peters had told him.

He was going to make time for Peter Parker.

With that thought, he wiped his palms on his pants once more before going over to her.

“Uh, hi.” He greeted her with a small smile and wave before clearing his throat because he knows he sounds like a prepubescent teenager talking to his crush, and continued. “Hi, I was passing and saw you were moving without any help and was wondering if I could offer some.” He internally cringed at how he was talking to her, he was admittedly out of practice.

She smiled lightly while nodding her head. “That would be great actually. I’ve been struggling with these boxes for a bit, thank you.”

Peter nodded at her in response before picking up one of the boxes. “Lead the way.”

────────────────────────────────────────────

They made their way to the third floor before she stopped, put her box down, pulled out her keys and unlocked her door. She stepped out of the way to let Peter inside first before making her way inside with her last box.

“You can put it anywhere, obviously I’m not very particular about box placement.” She placed her box on the kitchen counter as she voiced this to Peter, and he made his way over to her and put his next to it.

He looked back at the various boxes scattered about the room before speaking. “Did you move all of these up here by yourself?”

Letting out a light laugh she responded. “Yeah, I didn’t have anyone helping me so it has taken me way too long. I was planning on unpacking some tonight but that is not gonna happen now.”

“I could help if you wanted.” Peter offered, part of him hoping she’d say yes, but another part hoping she’d say no.

“Oh no it’s okay. I feel bad I even took up the whole six minutes of your time already so you’re free to go.”

She and Peter walked to the door and he noticed the number emblazoned on the door. “3C, I’m one floor above 4C if you ever need anything. I know it’s always nice to have someone just in case when you’re moving in. I didn’t have that, all I had was this crotchety old woman who hated my guts so..” he trailed off while looking away, really wishing a hole would just swallow him up on the spot for being so awkward. But instead of grimacing or cringing, the woman smiled and thanked him.

“I’m Peter, by the way.” He stuck out his hand.

“I’m Marilyn.” She took his hand and shook it, before saying goodbye and seeing him off.

Marilyn.

Peter never thought a name would ever sound so sweet on his tongue.

series masterlist

[orange-peony]

Written for @drarrymicrofic with the prompt “Persephone”.

This is rated E for mention of sex.

The art classes were Hermione’s idea. She said something about creativity and trauma and relieving the stress of becoming the Master of Death. Harry just nodded, trying to ignore the ghost lingering behind her sofa. So he found himself learning about watercolours, charcoal and oil paint the following week.

He liked it, though. In spite of the fact that it was Hermione’s idea. 

Harry enjoyed not thinking about anything and letting his fingers work, spreading the colours on the canvas, his feelings materialising in front of his eyes. It was relaxing, and for the first time in his life, he was not in danger and no one gave a shit if his drawings were a big wonky at first, or if the colour was smudged here and there. He was just Harry in his Muggle art class, just a bloke who was learning how to draw instead of the Saviour of the Wizarding World.

The live model painting sessions were Luna’s idea. Something about reconnecting with the beauty of a living body or New Age shit like that. Harry couldn’t remember, but he still found them interesting. 

Well, at least until that Saturday afternoon when Malfoy showed up. Harry was busy chatting with good old Gwen when his eyes suddenly caught white-blond hair and pink nipples, grey eyes and silvery scars. Harry’s easel suddenly caught fire, making everyone scream. 

“Subtle as always, Potter,” Malfoy commented much later, over a cup of steaming tea that did nothing to hide Harry’s embarrassment. “I can change class, if you want.”

“No, no, no,” Harry insisted vehemently, because in spite of everything, he had loved painting the long lines of Malfoy’s pale body. He blushed at the thought, remembering his milky-white skin and the unexpected sprinkle of freckles on Malfoy’s shoulders. “I…I’d like to paint you again…if you don’t mind.”  

Malfoy didn’t mind. He seemed to actually enjoy it, casting Harry furtive glances and winking at him week after week, making Harry’s face grow red and warm under his steely gaze. He painted Draco surrounded by spring flowers. Red camellias, yellow daffodils and white magnolias that made his skin glow. 

The one-to-one modelling sessions at home were Harry’s idea. Finally a decent one, he told himself smugly as he opened the front door to let Malfoy –no, Draco– in.

He suddenly felt bashful, watching Draco take his clothes off, after months of seeing him naked in the art studio. He told himself that there was no difference, that they were just in Harry’s living room.

“Where’s your easel and colours?” Draco asked, stepping closer in all his naked glory.

“Er…” Harry mumbled, swallowing loudly. 

“I thought so,” Draco whispered, and then closed the distance between them, kissing him softly and tenderly, nothing like the fierce thing Harry was expecting. That came later, when Draco had Harry naked and open on the living room sofa, begging to be fucked and filled. But that first kiss, that was sweet and lovely, with Harry’s eyes taking it all in. Draco’s pink lips, his pale eyelashes, almost transparent. The half-moon on his thumbnail as it slid inside Harry’s mouth, making him moan. 

Harry took it all in, to paint it later. 

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

The Night We Met ~ P.P.

A/n: decided to do a two-part fic for Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker because I’ve been crushing on him and missing writing. Some major angst because I am. Sad. Lol. I tried to make this all one part but it was well over 11,000 words so I broke it into two. It’s completely done and I’ll post the second part in a bit <3

WARNINGS: nightmares, Gwen’s death (mentioned), loss, depression, general heartbreak, violence, blood, gun use (by villain), guilt, trauma responses having to do with Gwen’s death

Word Count: 5200+

MASTERLIST

I am not the only traveler who has not repaid his debt. I've been searching for a trail to follow again - take me back to the night we met.

As his eyes flew open, Peter knew immediately that today was going to be a bad day. He was breathless, and his heart pounded in his chest. His cheeks were already wet with tears. Tell-tale signs that the rest of the day was lost. Ruined.

And sure, he could already see May’s warm smile and eyes full of gentle reminders as she said what she always did - that his struggles were real and emotions were valid, and that some days were worse than others, but you had to keep going. You had to keep your eyes on the future and take one step at a time. One dream couldn’t ruin him… Not completely.

But it would. He knew she would understand that too. That if he asked, she would hold him and rub her hands through his hair. Because, even if she handled her own loss with raging strength and faithful love and endless joy at what she still had to enjoy, she knew that not everyone grieved the way she did. That when she had first lost Ben, her whispered reassurances that he would want them to be happy and keep living life and being their best selves - it wasn’t for everyone.

He also knew that she would scold him, too. That once he wasn’t so distraught she would give him a stern look - the look of a mother who didn’t approve of her son suffering a demise that he himself caused. He could already hear her telling him just to fix it. To go back. To talk through it, and fix it. That even months later, Y/n was the kind of person who just wanted him to fight for it.

Ugh.

It was why he didn’t go to her for the dreams anymore. That when he jolted awake after being wrapped up in a dream so full of everything that he wanted that he had to rip himself away from it before he didn’t want to wake up, he could lie to himself… but only if May didn’t know he was doing it. She wouldn’t allow such foolishness, and would call him out immediately. So the sunlight through strands of hair and a laugh that settled into his bones and a voice that was slowly but surely slipping away from him the longer he was away from them, it all stayed in his head and he ignored it and could at least pretend it wasn’t eating him alive.

Barely. But still.

It got harder when he went to school. Y/n was everywhere here. He had met them in this college, and since then they had tainted every surface with remnants of them. Y/n was in the sharp edges of the staircase that lead to the front doors, where they had often met an hour before class and helped each other wake up and mentally prepare for the day ahead of them. Y/n was in the hallways where they had held hands, or his arm had rested across their shoulders as the pair had talked. Y/n was in the cafeteria, where they had worked for a while… Peter still couldn’t go near the sandwich shop without feeling his heart burn in his chest. He remembered too clearly how Y/n would come home smelling of meat and cheese and bread and ranch.

Peter tried to fight it. Tried to remind himself why he was here. He really did try. But-

Y/n was in every inch of the science classroom. They majored in business of all things, and hated science with a burning passion. They had always been much better at math, and the slight disconnect between the two subjects was just enough that all their skills fell just short of success. Peter was in an entirely different course, but had been aceing his stuff. When his teacher had proposed a tutoring session with a student who was struggling, Peter had picked it up. He didn’t have a lot of free time between working, going to school, and of course being Spider-Man, but he could at least give it a shot.

Of course, Peter had his own classes in that room. That’s why he had to return, and yet he never remembered the memories he was making or the ones he had all by himself made. He could only think of the times he had walked in to see Y/n bent over a text book, notes splayed out as they tried to put together what they were missing. It had almost made him laugh to see someone he knew in passing - someone he had heard people rave about in discussion of Y/n’s math skills, in the same tone people would gawk at his skill with science - struggle so much with something so close to what they were supposed to be good at.

At first Peter had thought he was in the wrong room, or that this trouble student also needed help with math. But it became clear that was not the case when they looked up and sighed, “Are you Peter Parker?” The relief was so obvious that Peter found himself immediately endeared to them.

“Yeah. That’s me. Are you… who I’m tutoring.”

Y/n had blushed. “Uh, Yeah, I’m-“

“I know who you are.” It came out too fast. Peter had a bit of an admiration built up for Y/n. He had heard so much about them and admired them so much, it felt so odd to be meeting in this situation and not in a project or after school discussion. Y/n seemed part flattered and part surprised by his outburst. He cleared his throat. “You’re kind of big talk around here. One person called me a genius one time in passing and all the nearby nerds went off about how I couldn’t be as much a genius as you.” He raised an eyebrow, amused by the memory.

That seemed to make Y/n feel more embarrassed. “Oh god.” They laughed and Peter felt instantly comfortable - like this was a familiar thing. A favorite part of his day. Expected, anticipated even. “They’re a bunch of elitists. Obviously given a lot of shit in high school for being the smartest kid in the room. Walking around here like…” they shook their head. “I’ve never been good at keeping my mouth shut. They started running around talking about how smart each of them were and blah blah blah - what was I supposed to do. Not show them up?”

Peter snorted. “And now they worship you?”

“Something like that.” Y/n rolled their eyes, grinning. “If they knew I was shit at science, I think they would either explode or go back to being the little assholes none of us miss.”

“Then we’ll have to fix that. Let’s see if I can help you, hm? I like shutting people up too.”

Y/n tilted their head. There was approval in the way they looked at him. “Please do.”

Peter had to rip himself away from their smile and how, even in mere memory, it still made his own lips twitch with the urge to curl to match. He wanted to hear them laugh again…

Focus, Parker.

He sighed as he sat down at his new desk. The one he had moved to after he had distanced himself from the person who had come to mean everything to him. They had visited the old desk too often. Sat there together to study. He had thought about them in that chair too often - now he had a new space. And it wasn’t any less tainted, but the new vantage point of the room helped a little at least.

At least in class he could be absorbed into work he really loved. He didn’t have any reminders of Y/n when he was learning about science - other than a very small voice in the back of his head that still fondly recalled the one time Y/n had looked at his homework and had almost had an aneurysm - and it was almost a complete break.

He didn’t have the same experience at work.

Otto Octavius loved Peter Parker. He loved the boy’s mind and his presence and the way he cared about all the same things Otto did. They were on a first name basis, and had been like this for a while. It hadn’t taken them long since the internship had started that they had taken to doing so either. Y/n had joined the second them and Peter had grown close, often showing up to his work because they hated to go home to an empty apartment and sit in silence at best, neighbors arguing at worst. They’d much prefer to follow Peter around and watch him be a complete nerd. Tease him, or talk to Otto and try to understand the projects around them and how they would come about. If Y/n wasn’t in the headspace to try to wrap their head around this science term or that one, the conversation would turn to the math of the projects, or just the general beauty of geometry. Y/n loved geometry.

Otto had loved Y/n too. He had loved their spirit and their adoration and their passion for life. Their yearning for knowledge had been something he could relate to. Something he respected.

He had loved Y/n and Peter separately, for different things and in different situations. But most of all, he loved them together.

Even months later, Otto still asked how Y/n was doing it, and prodded Peter to reach out to them the same way Aunt May did. Just to check on them… Peter had never explained why he had stopped talking to Y/n. He hadn’t explained to anyone - not even Aunt May. So Otto tried, to the best of his ability.

It didn’t make life easier for Peter. In fact, it made it harder. As the days passed, he missed them more and had to try harder to ignore it. One day he would slip up. He knew eventually he’d break.

But that wasn’t today.

So for now he glossed over Otto’s usual comment about Peter’s missing better half, and he got to work and steered conversation to safer topics. And he ignored it.

What else was he to do?

He couldn’t exactly explain to these people who cared about him that he was Spider-Man. That it was dangerous for Y/n to get involved with him. That he was dangerous. That he only hurt the people he was around… the people he loved.

No, he couldn’t tell them about her.

About blonde hair and a tight smile and a scolding voice and a scream filled with joy. About someone who had once understood and loved science just like him. Someone who should have stayed away.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

Even if people didn’t understand why he did it.

Even…

Even if it hurt.

And then I can tell myself what the hell I'm supposed to do. And then I can tell myself not to ride along with you.

This had not been his best idea. By far.

Yeah sure Pete, go to the cafeteria. That won’t go wrong at all. Ugh.

He had heard that Y/n had moved to a different job. It was more than safe, and he couldn’t avoid it forever. He had paid for on-campus meals, so why not use them? Not to mention, he needed to make new memories. Replace all the ones he had with Y/n. They couldn’t have enough power over him to keep him from eating. If they did, that would be an even bigger problem.

Of course they did, but he ignored that. This was not a problem he could fix, therefore it was not one he wanted to acknowledge.

He had thought it would be easy. Dip in, snag food, dip out. Gone very fast. Over in a moment.

As if he was that lucky.

When he saw them, he wanted to bolt immediately. But he had already begun his order. It was an assembly line, like in a mall cafeteria. The people serving would add one thing to your plate and then pass it on. Different stations offered different things you could put on your plate, or could pass on if you didn’t want it. He was halfway through the line, too far in to pass up the sausages he wanted at the end of the line - he had wasted too much time waiting in line, and gotten himself too excited over them - but was too far from the end that it wouldn’t be obvious that he would be stealing glances at them, or on purpose avoiding eye contact for the rest of the time he was here. They held his plate, looking up at him. When their eyes had met they had both stuttered, and he had almost tripped as he moved to the side to be in front of them. Now they just… stared at each other.

Y/n broke first. They cleared their throat. “Can I get you anything today?”

He swallowed and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Fuck. “Yeah.” NO. He had meant to say no, to move on and avoid this whole interaction, even if he had been eyeing the potato wedges that were in front of Y/n for a while now.

When silence began to stretch again, Y/n asked, “And that would be?”

Peter wanted to strangle himself. His throat felt suddenly dry and his tongue wouldn’t work. He tore his eyes away from them and felt their body buzzing, cold and numb rising but that linhrering warmth reminding him how beautiful their eyes still were to him. He freshly remembered how their voice sounded. Not trusting himself to speak, he just pointed to the potato wedges. Without even having to ask, even if his gesturing was vague, they reached for the wedges and gave him some. Like they had already really known what he wanted. Maybe they did, he thought to himself. How often had they shared a plate of potato wedges and argued about whether they were or weren’t the exact same as fries.

“Have a good day.”

Peter couldn’t respond. He just nodded and moved on. His eyes stayed on the food, and he tried to keep responding as people asked him what he wanted. He skipped until the end, got his sausages, and then booked it the second he had his plate in his hand.

His suffering did not end there though.

A hand on his upper arm stopped him. He felt a lump form in his throat as he turned and saw Y/n standing there. Their touch had been brief, as if the contact had burned them, and he didn’t blame them. It had burned him too. “You forgot your fork.” They held up the utensil and Peter nodded again, grabbing it from them.

They both avoided skin contact - they had taken off the gloves they’d been using while serving food - but he could still feel the warmth that radiated from their skin. “Thanks.”

It was their turn to nod. They turned away, eyes on the floor, and booked it back to the line.

Peter watched them the entire time. He was cemented in place, his eyes locked on them. He had almost escaped the pain that he felt now. The agony that ripped through them, getting worse every step further they got away.

Chase them, his brain begged. Tell them you were wrong. Make it better. Listen to Otto and May. Listen to me. Please.

He blinked away the tears that had begun to form in his eyes and turned away, walking out of the cafeteria. He had to return the tray and was glad he had only gotten one plate today. He had planned to eat a little more - he had the budget for it, and was feeling extra hungry this morning, so why not - but now he could just drop his tray off, carrying the single plate, and then he could leave.

Eating in his room was acceptable. It’s fine. It’s totally fine and normal and not because Y/n was in the room right now and his super senses were straining to pick them up even at this distance. To hear them, or see them.

Goddamnit.

He had to distract himself. He had to stop thinking about Y/n. His head was rushing with memories and images of them. Mostly, of what had just happened. How they had been smiling genuinely before they had realized he was in front of them. How their smile had dropped like it had been smacked off of their face. How their voice had been just a little hoarse when they had spoken. How they had been looking a little low energy, their skin not having the same level of warmth and glow it usually did. How they looked a little like how he did when he wasn’t sleeping very well. How it was probably all his fault.

His attempts to distract himself weren’t much more helpful. He forced his mind to turn away from recalling every detail he had just absorbed, but his immediate thought was that he wished he had never met Y/n. That neither of them had to go through with this pain. This loss.

But of course that thought just drove him to think about what it would have been like if they actually hadn’t met.

He imagined if his teacher had asked someone else. If he had seen them slip into the room after his class every day and talk to someone else. He thought of all the progress they had made with understanding their own class better, and wondered if they could have done it with someone else. If it would have been more successful. Sure, most people weren’t as smart as he was when it came to physics, but he knew how much his smile and proximity had distracted them. How they would tease him about the way he looked when he got super focused. Would they have had an easier time focusing? Would they have had a better time with someone who could be there every day, and didn’t dip out at weird times to run off to god knows where?

He tried to imagine if they would have fallen for that person instead. If they would have smiled to themself, fumbling over words and wringing their hands and cutting off what they were saying with little nervous giggles and soft teases directed toward themself had they tried to say that he they had come to like him so desperately. If they would have asked that person out, like they had asked him. He wondered if that person would have run away like he had. Blocked them and ignored them and assigned someone else to be their tutor anyway.

He wondered if they would have been happier if they had never met him. If they were having as much luck with the tutor they had now.

He got to his room in a haze and placed his pate on his desk, flipping backward onto his bed. His hands covered his face, fingers massaging his eyes as he tried to make them stop stinging and watering.

A small voice reminded them why he had left them behind. Why this was for the best.

And then suddenly he was thinking of another loss. Fingers just out of reach and rushing air in his ears. Blank eyes and parted lips and loose hair that weakly waved in the air as a soft breeze passed through the blonde strands. A voice he would never hear again. A touch that had haunted him. A promise he had broken. One that had gotten his first love killed.

First love?

Only love.

Right? Who else had he loved the way he had loved Gwen?

His merciless brain answered him. Compared Gwen’s touch to Y/n’s. Compared their smiles. Their voices. Their laughs. The way they each had leaned against him. So different, with only one thing in common: how they had both made him feel.

His hand lowered to cover his mouth, eyes squeezed shut as finally the tears fell.

Fuck.

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you… Take me back to the night we met. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you… Oh, take me back to the night we met.

Peter was having nightmares he had not had in a long time. One that used to chase him every night. The night he had lost Gwen. Sometimes it was Y/n. Sometimes it was still Gwen. Sometimes it was a similar situation, but not that horrible falling and chasing that he knew he was too late for. But always, it was that he was too slow. Too far. Too late. Sometimes they were already gone when he got there. Sometimes they died as he got to them, like Gwen had. And sometimes, they died in his arms. Sometimes they didn’t die to his knowledge at all. Sometimes they were dragged into a dark corner he knew they would never emerge from, their screams echoing around him like sirens, but cut off suddenly. He never found them again. Sometimes that was his worst fear. The running, as he screamed their name and tried to find them. Always looking, begging, trying his best. But his best still wasn’t good enough and he failed them. That was what every dream drove into his mind until his skull began to ache. That he would fail them. That no matter what he did or how hard he tried or what he prepared for, he would fail them.

You would think it would make it easier to stay away from Y/n. That it would harden his resolve. Unfortunately, he was a selfish man. He always had been. He had once disguised it as determination or optimism. He had lied to himself that he was just strong enough to prevent any of the bad things from happening. But, he was wrong. It was all about how much he missed them. How much he wanted to hold them, and have him run their hands through his hair and promise him that they were okay and right next to him and remind him over and over again that they loved him so much. That it would be okay.

He was just selfish.

His punishment came without relenting. Those nightmares followed him throughout each and every single day. They came to him at random moments. The second he thought he was finally catching a break, he’d let a breath out and then remember why he had been holding it to begin with. 

Even when he was swinging through the city, or being Spider-Man in general, he would find that his chest would suddenly tighten and as he blinked, the bloodied face or blank eyes would fill his vision and he would have to shake his head clear of it. He had almost fallen out of the sky more than just a few times, and had taken more hits in fights than he normally would.

He was spiraling.

It wasn’t just his grades, social life, or well-being being threatened either. His quippy remarks became much more biting and bitter. He wasn’t funny anymore, at least not like he used to be. He didn’t banter as much, he just gave people shit and then moved on. He was getting a little sloppy too - unless he was being a hard ass. Either tying his webs too loose, or too tight. Hitting too hard, or not hard enough. He would either slip up on keeping track of rubble, or he would catch it just like normal and then immediately weaponize it, even if that wasn’t the play that was best in the situation. He was more aggressive, and didn’t interact with passerbys like he once had. Everyone had noticed. JJ Jameson was having a ball saying that Spider-Man was slipping, showing more of his true nature. People who looked up to Spider-Man… Peter didn’t listen to what they had to say anymore. It just made him feel worse.

Somedays he wondered if he wasn’t allowed to be a little selfish. If he wasn’t allowed to be a little bitter. If it was fair that he was punished so much for wanting Y/n in his life. He wondered if maybe… maybe he hadn’t deserved to lose Gwen either. That his failure to save her, and his broken promise to her dad, were worth how dare and grim his life was these days. But he stifled that. Because either was angry at himself, or other people.

Being angry at other people was a lot more dangerous.

He tried not to think about his own feelings and his slow downfall too much. He tried to fall back into numbness, and to let the aches fade to the back of his mind.

The universe had a different plan for him though.

He didn’t know if this was further punishment, or a sign to give himself a break (maybe a little bit of both? That’s what it felt like at least) but when he heard a scream and swung into the scene, what he dropped into was very similar to what he had seen a million times. Someone in a mask, weapon in hand, closing in on someone who had been cornered at a dead end and was looking for some way to defend or escape. What was new, was that the person in danger was Y/n.

 All of Peter’s literal nightmares loomed around him, pressing and screaming at him.

He was going to fail.

Y/n was going to get hurt. 

His heart thumped in his ears, blood rushing over that - the layers of panic that blocked him from being able to hear or process anything other than his own sheer terror. He shot his webs, latching onto the thug and sending the dude flying. He saw red for a second and launched toward the would-be assailant, back to Y/n as he raised his hand for what would have been an absolutely fatal blow.

Fingers wrapped around his wrist. He snapped his head around, expecting an attacker he hadn’t previously seen. But then there was Y/n, eyes wide and lips parted. He froze, seeing the water in their gaze, the way their hands trembled against him. There was fear there, but not just at the person who had gone after them, but toward Peter as well. Toward… Spider-Man. There was something that told him they knew he was about to kill this man. He wondered how long ti would have taken him to regret it. How much more it would have destroyed him when he did finally have a clear head again. He saw, for a moment, a future where Spider-Man was tainted, in a way. Not only darker than he had once been, but maybe even the monster he had once been accused of being. How many people were terrified this exact scene would happen? That Spider-Man would slip more and more until he fell completely?

He wondered, above it all, what Y/n would have thought of having to see it first hand. What they would have felt, seeing someone they probably saw generally as a local hero, become something dark and ugly and terrifying.

And then, just as fast as it had all come, it cleared away. Instead, he saw the world he was in now. The world that Y/n had saved for him. The line that had been preserved, only because of them.

He broke.

Peter didn’t know what Y/n was thinking when he half pulled his mask off, just enough to expose the lower half of his face, and pulled Y/n into a kiss. He didn’t know why they melted into him, if it reminded them of Peter, or if they just liked the idea of kissing a celebrity, or if it was shocking or if they understood why he did it. He didn’t know why they pulled him in, clinging to him, and why their lips pulled a little bit into a smile. But, it did make his heart swell ten sizes in his chest.

When he did finally pull away, he didn’t go far. He still held them, his forehead resting against theirs, his eyes closed. “Sorry,” he whispered. Then he finally leaned away completely, clearing his throat. “You just…”

He struggled to come up with what to say, but Y/n just chuckled very softly. “No it’s okay I… I think I get it. You’ve been going through a really hard time recently, haven’t you? That’s why you’ve been so upset recently. And… well, I can’t imagine how you must have been spiraling. Since you kissed me, I mean, I’m assuming you lost that person… the one you wrote the I love you web for on the bridge.” Peter looked away and they swallowed. “Sorry. For your loss. And I know that doesn’t mean much but-” They reached out slowly, tentatively, and Peter looked back, reaching out to meet their hand with his own. Their fingertips pressed together. “You’re still a hero, Spider-Man. You’re still my hero.”

Peter blinked his eyes, glad his mask covered the tears that were gathering. “How? I’ve been… so…”

They nodded. “I lost someone too recently.” Peter flinched. “Not-” They sighed. “I mean, we were friends. He meant everything to me. We… I thought he loved me like I love him.” They shrugged. “I think he did, honestly. Still. But… he lost someone too.” Here they laughed. “Lots of loss happening these days I guess. I don’t know.” Their smile fell a little bit, and they leaned forward so their fingers interlaced with Peter’s instead of just touching them. “Some people lose themselves when they go through stuff like that. But… I still see you, sometimes. And sometimes even heroes need to be saved.” Their smile returned, bright even as their eyes watered. “Please keep being my hero, okay? Not just for me - but for everyone who looks up to you. And for yourself too.”

It was what he had needed to hear. Better for him than anything even Aunt May could have said. “I will. I promise.” He squeezed their hand, sealing his promise with the gesture.

They seemed to know that. “Thank you. For everything you’ve done, and what you did tonight, and everything you will do. Fuck Jameson - he’s an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Peter laughed. He hadn’t laughed in so long, and a weight had been lifted from his shoulders with the action. “Thank you, actually. I… I needed this.”

Y/n hesitated. “I hope you get more of this then. I hope I get to see you again.”

Peter pulled his hand back, looking away from them. “You… shouldn’t be around me. Too much. I have a lot of enemies, and if we were seen together - if anyone thought that you were especially important to me -”

Immediately Y/n nodded. “Of course.” They paused a moment. “I hope you don’t shut people out when the mask is off for that reason though.”

Peter looked over at them in surprise. “What?”

Y/n gave him a knowing look. “You’re a hero, you’d do anything to protect people that mattered to you. And… I think you need to know that saving other people can only happen if you save yourself first. Don’t push people away just because your life is a little dangerous. Some people, they wouldn’t mind the danger. It would be worth it to them. And you deserve to be with people who love you. You deserve it often.” Then, before he could argue, they gave him a small salute and took off out of the alleyway and down the street.

Peter shook his head.

Whatever he had been feeling about Y/n before, it had just gotten worse.

So, so much worse.

[cherryvampiro]

  Horror move night at Ben’s house with the ms gang! 🍿✨

As promised I’ve written a quick introduction to my Middle School au! All information will be under the read more 😊 :

 Main plot (Spoiler warning for Ben 10 (2016) Movie) : 

 The big plot for this au is there’s a war going on in space. Since the Omnitrix was created fighting against planets emerged all due to Vilgax’s first use of the Omnitrix as a warlord. Though the fighting started off small, it soon escalated and began to grow larger and larger. 2-3 years of nonstop fighting soon formed into one big territorial war. Which is why Argit, Rook, & many other aliens are on earth. Everyone is looking for a safe planet to hide with their families, hoping whatever planet they find themselves in will be spared or undetected.

 ((I will elaborate more on the space war when I introduce Albedo & Attea))

 Basic theme of the au:

The main theme to this au would be “Change” = Change in yourself, your friends, your life, & the universe around you! The reason I picked this specific theme was so each character can have their own arc/growth in this au. It also suits the coming of age themes that many kids go through in that age (their appearance, their morals, who they are,etc.) This au is still very new in my head but below I’d gather enough ideas I have for each of the characters! 

 ((Some of it may change in the future))

  Ben Tennyson: 

 After having the Omnitrix for 2 years, Ben thinks he can handle it all ((but boy is he wrong!)) Ben’s main character arc would revolve around making tough decisions and not being afraid to ask for help.

 With beings coming from other planets, he’s gonna face off many new foes! Foes who do not care that he’s a child, beings who are willing to sacrifice a child for their own ideals. He’ll have to make decisions on who to trust and deal with the potential consequences with owning the watch. With bigger threats landing on earth Ben gets the fortunate and unfortunate of meeting new people! (Such as Albedo, Attea, & Julie) 

 It’s his choice now on who he’s willing to trust, help, and who to fight for. Lucky for him he’s not alone!

 Fun Character Fact: Ben wears baggy clothes ((sweaters, hoodies, sweats, cargo pants)) due to a little body insecurity he has! He’s not so much ashamed of his body, just a little embarrassed and would prefer the comfort of his big green hoodie.

 Gwen Tennyson: 

 Gwen goes to a private all ages school and is the top student in all her classes! Gwen’s main character arc would be dealing & learning about her new found powers. Not only that but to learn she doesn’t have to be what others perceive her as.

 To elaborate on the second arc: My Gwen has grown into the role of being the Smart Kid™️. By being the top student she’s also pressured to fit a certain expectation by her teachers and peers. She has doubts of herself and wonders what’s deemed as “appropriate” for her intelligence ((like no more kiddy stuff, even if it interests her)). 

 This would come to fruition when her anodite powers emerge ((in the scariest way possible)) She’d start her daily routine the same only with a slight migraine problem. Migraines soon turn to ache and ache soon turn to her face cracking like a porcelain doll while at school. Afraid to ask any adult she asks help from Ben & Kevin ((Then Rook, Julie, & Argit who end up sneaking through Gwen’s window after they get dragged into hiding Gwen from her parents)). The whole event was scary but with clarification from her grandpa it all became clear.

 Fun Character Fact: Ben can’t scan Gwen’s Anodite DNA into his watch due to the Omntrix stating “DNA already attained” since they’re related. He’d have to scan an Anodite not related to him by blood to absorb their DNA.

 Kevin Levin:

 Kevin in this au no longer wears his Anti-Trix. He took it off the first day of 7th grade and hadn’t put it on since. He’s not sure he’s cut out to be a hero and instead focuses his time on his crafts. Kevin’s main arc is one I have yet to think about fully. I’m not sure whether to have him grow into his osmosian DNA or have him go through a different self discovery. Bashmouth is my favorite alien of Kevin and I’m thinking of having him have his DNA altered like in the OS but with Bashmouth only. It’d make more sense to explain once I introduced Albedo later ((hopefully!))

 Fun Character Fact: Kevin has gotten better with his mechanical skills and uses those skills to make the goofiest stuff ((Such as a mobile couch on wheel so he and the homies can ride it to get some smoothies)).

 Rook Blonko: 

 Rook Blonko is a foreign exchange student, as far as anyone knows, who goes to Gwen’s school. Rook's main arc would be choosing to run or fight with the Tennysons.

 Rook was originally sent to earth to see whether this planet was safe or not for his family to relocate to. Unbeknownst to him and his family, Rook would be staying with the cousin of the keeper of the Omnitrix. With this discovery Rook should have hopped to another planet to live in but he took the chance to know the user of the watch. Getting to know the Tennysons and the people of earth has changed Rook’s thoughts of his mission. Should he run away and save his own family or should he stay and fight with his new found friends and make sure no one else is forced to abandon their home.

 Fun Character Fact: Rook stays with Gwen’s family. He’s introduced to Ben, Kevin, & Argit when Gwn begs them to hang out with Rook ((He’d often stay in his room studying and Gwen wanted him to socialize. She regrets it later when they all come home smelling like garbage)).

 Julie Yamamoto:

 Julie’s one of Bellwood Junior High’s top tennis players! She takes many AP classes which explains why Ben’s never seen her around school before. Julie doesn’t actually have an arc. She’s one of the characters willing to help no matter what. She’s first induced to alien knowledge when she saves Ben from a DNAlien. Through Ben she learns about the Omntrix, aliens, and what’s going on outside their planet. From then on she’s supported and helped Ben on his mission to save the world and beyond. If she had to give a reason as to why she’s helping she’d have two:

Innocent beings shouldn’t have to flee from their homes.

A 12 yr old shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.

 She may be human but she’s willing to do what she can to make a difference in any means possible. ((She maybe reward too with a certain pet from space))

 Fun Character Fact: Julie is a trans girl in this au 🏳️‍⚧️ Julie’s also super into horror media! 

 Argit:

 Argit is the kid in the halls you can get anything from. Candy, chips, test answers, phone numbers, you name it! Like Rook, Argit’s main arc would be choosing to run or fight with the Tennysons. 

 Argit is one of the kids most affected by the war. He no longer has a planet and was forced to flee to another planet.  Since his first foot step on earth he’s only looked out for himself. He adapted to his environment and learned to support himself. Argit’s the most afraid of the alien kid bunch to be outed as non-human. He’s already built so much for himself here on earth that he’s afraid of losing it all just for his appearance. 

 Argit would rather high tail away from any alien fights then stay and help. He doesn’t care much for the Tennysons but he does respect Kevin. But hanging out with Kevin means hanging out with The Tennyson twins. Hopefully their good nature will rub off on him. 

 Fun Character Fact: Argit is the treasurer of his 8th grade class! His least favorite person is Ben and if he had to pick a favorite between his friends (aside from Kevin) he’d pick Julie. 

 This au is still new and it may go through some changes later! Please tell me what you think! 

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Amoreena | Chapter Five

Chapter Five

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Summary: (fluff only) weekly Saturday reading only they are joined by an extra 15 lost boys, not just Spencer

Warnings (adding as they happen): fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff

word count: 3K

from the beginning <3

He woke up Saturday morning to the sound of a bunch of voices coming from beyond the walls of his room. Only it wasn’t his room, it was the room he slept in when he stayed with Y/N and Amoreena, he hasn’t left since he arrived on Thursday and he had no plan to either.

They still hadn’t told her about their relationship, not wanting her to come crawling into bed with her mom in the morning to find Spencer there too. She wasn’t ready to explain to Amoreena what it meant for Spencer to be in her bed, how they were in love and that she might need to learn how to knock before entering.

So he slept in the spare room, completely contently because he knew she was only on the other side of the wall, instead of 30 minutes away like she would be when he slept at his own apartment.

It had been a week since he saw them reading in the park, and now they were his family. It was incredibly fast, anyone who heard the news would say so. But that’s how his life worked, he blew through everything incredibly fast, it only made sense for him to skip every step in the book and become a stepdad overnight.

He woke up then, missing Y/N and Amoreena as he thought about the last week. Finally getting dressed and peaking outside, through the crack in the blinds, to see what was going on on the farm.

There were a bunch of men in the field with the cows dropping new cattle off in a big truck as a bunch of children ran around the yard. Y/N wasn’t kidding when she said her 7 siblings had produced 15 cousins for Amoreena to play with. Children all between the ages of toddler and 7-years-old, screaming while they ran after Rufus and the cats, it was a pure dopamine rush to witness.

He found Y/N in the living room, a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, “good morning cutie, all the ruckus on the farm wake you up?” She did her best fake southern accent as she smiled at him. Beautiful as ever in the early morning sunshine.

He nodded with a yawn, sitting beside her and snuggling into her shoulder. She placed her mug in his hands so she could wrap an arm around him and pull him in closer, letting him take a sip of coffee and become a real person again.

He noticed she was reading a book he had never seen before, reading the pages and not know the words. It was a first for him.

“What’s that one about?”

Y/N closed it to let him look at the cover. It was a hand-bound book, wrapped in green fabric that was at least 30 years old and in well-loved condition. The gold lettering reading Amoreena, along with a pressed gold rose and the author's name. He had never heard of it before.

“My grandma was an aspiring writer and the reason I love books so much, her name was Peggy and she had a dream once about a wonderful little girl named Amoreena and the magical life she created for herself. She wrote it all down and my grandpa had it typed and bound for her, she was so proud of this book,” Y/N gushed, smiling as she held it to her chest softly, thinking of all the memories Spencer didn’t know yet.

“Really?” Spencer couldn’t help but smile at her.

She nodded softly, “she loved Elton John, so much so that when my sister Ashley came out she threw her a party. Almost all those kids out there are Ashley's, by the way, she went down the adoption and foster root after I did IVF.”

She pointed out the front window at all the people gathered on her land, “Ben and Dylan dropped their kids off too while they help dad and Evan with the farm. Those are my brothers in case you didn’t know their names yet, there’s also Carver and Francis but they don’t live as close.”

Her little life was just so perfect, “did they want to come with us to read this afternoon? We need some lost boys.”

“They’d love that, are you sure you can handle 16 kids between the two of us?” she smiled, pure love spreading through her body as she held him.

“They’re not so different from psychopaths right?” He teased, watching her settle against him even more as they enjoyed their Saturday together.

“What else can you tell me about your grandma?” He snuggled into her more as he asked, wanting to know as much about her happiness as possible.

“She was always listening to music, she loved Elton's song Amoreena the most. It was the song she played for the majority of my childhood. It only made sense for me to name my little miracle Amoreena too, cause I wouldn’t have her unless nanny suggested I have a baby.”

“I would have loved to meet her.”

Y/N’s smile changed then, “she would have loved you and your big mind.”

“My mom wants to meet you and Amoreena,” he announces softly, he hasn’t really told her anything about his family yet.

“What’s she like?”

“She has schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s and she lives in a care home in DC right now, I try and see her when I can but she has her own schedule so I have to fit around when she’s having a good day,” it was hard to explain it to most people, but not to her. He didn’t feel any shame or fear in introducing them. Y/N was the most loving human, and Amoreena was just the same.

“When is she free next?” A simple question that made him feel incredibly giddy.

“Tuesday from 3-5,” he snuggled in closer to her as she wraps her arm around him.

“We’ll pick Amoreena up from school after work and take her over,” Y/N agreed, their lives intertwining like they were always meant to.

Like she was the ivy on his old cottage, she took him in and made him her own, wrapping herself all around him and never letting him go again.

He basically finishes her coffee while she holds him on the couch. The sound of the kids outside making them laugh every once in a while, dogs barking and cows mooing, the farm was alive and roaring while they enjoyed each other's company.

“Did you bring your costume for the reading today?”

He sat right up then, looking at her like she lost her mind, “of course I did, I wouldn’t have Penelope spend a week tracking down a Captain Hook costume just to forget it.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped, “you didn’t?!”

He simply nodded with a cheeky grin, “come on Tinker Bell, everyone knows she had a thing for Hook.”

“Who didn’t? He was the first and last bad boy I was interested in, I typically go more for Milo’s and Ariel’s; full of adventure and always learning something new,” Y/N teased him.

“Mhm, I always had a thing for Aladdin and Belle in search of far off lands and happy endings,” he mused, making her smile just as much as he was, “but for real it was between Hook and Wendy for my costume,” he made her laugh again, wanting to hear it for the rest of time.

“You still can, I have a blue nightgown you can borrow,” it was so easy for them to flirt, it fit into their conversation so simply it felt like they had been together forever.

He couldn’t help leaning in to kiss her, resting her back against the couch softly as she held onto him. He loved kissing her, she tasted like coffee and happiness every single time. She made the cutest sounds when they would make out like she was surprised by it or she wasn’t used to it at all.

She made him feel like he was young again like he was 21 and in love for the first time. All his trauma disappeared and that Spencer who used to stare back at him in the mirror was gone now. That guy packed his bags and left the farm to never be seen again.

Good fucking riddance is all he had to say.

He was happy, he enjoyed being happy and he was going to stay happy. It was the only goal he had going forward, and as long as he was in her embrace, surround by the laugher of her child and family, he knew it would be possible.

Amoreena came running inside then, finding the two of them making out on the couch before they could part from each other.

“Ewww!” She cried, jumping on top of the two of them and knocking the wind out of Spencer.

“Get off,” Y/N tried to speak as she was crushed by the two of them. “Mom down!”

Spencer picks Amoreena up then, taking her away from the couch and spinning her around like she’s an airplane. She cheers and cheers and doesn’t want him to put her down because it’s so fun. The next thing he knows he’s being dragged outside to twirl all the kids around like they’re Peter Pan, flying through the air on their way to Neverland.

He’s surrounded by giggles and tickles fights, he’s tackled down against the dirt as a herd of tiny children dog pilled him. Laughing until he cried, feeling more joy than humanly possible and then Y/N’s telling them all to get ready to he’d to the park.

Coming down the stairs in a pirate costume to a bunch of screaming kids was an experience and a half. Spencer couldn’t believe how happy it made them all to imagine Captain Hook had broken into the house and Amoreena, or Peter Pan as she corrected him, chased him outside with all the lost boys.

He took a moment to learn all their names, all 15 of them, however, unlike the cats, they had relatively normal people names.

Kate, Cade, Jet, Lauren, Cassie, Sara, Evan, Benny, Olivia, Jessie, Owen, Maddie, Gwen, August, and Parker, were the cutest little family of cousins. some looked like Amoreena, some looked like their own mothers, a handful of them were adopted out of the country, they were the most perfect cast of lost boys.

He's never had any cousins, no pets, no siblings. His life never felt lonely until he realized what he missed out on.

“Dad,” Amoreena whispered as she tugged on his shirt lightly, “look!”

She pointed towards the house where Y/N was standing. When she said she was going as Tinker Bell he really didn’t think she meant looking exactly like Julia Roberts at the end of Hook.

She looked magical in her beautiful white dress, curly hair with the most perfectly placed flowers and flawless wings wrapped around her shoulders. She was a vision standing on the porch, waiting for him to pick his jaw up off the floor and compliment her.

“Tink,” the words are more like air, soft and barely there.

“Is Captain Hook being nice? Or should we take him to the pond and let the Alligators deal with him?” Y/N teased, marching down the stairs and poking Spencer's chest.

“Ouch,” he teased her, holding his hand over his heart to make her feel bad.

But she didn’t, “some Pirate you are,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him before taking Amoreena’s hand and running off down the trail towards the main house, everyone following her lead.

Nanny packed enough snacks for all 16 kids, and a little extra just in case. Spencer slipped the lunch box over his shoulder and they made their way towards the adventure. Y/N pulling a wagon just in case the littlest ones didn’t want to walk anymore. It was spectacular.

Y/N stopped then, pretending to stand like an army man turning around abruptly to look at the troop. “Lost boys, are we ready?”

“Yes, Tinker Bell!” They cheered back.

“On my lead, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4,” she marched, bringing her knees up high as they all followed her down the path. “We’re following the leader, the leader, the leader,” she began to sing.

Spencer was in awe, his heart felt like it was going to explode as he watched everyone follow her. Singing along as they marched their tiny little butts down to the park.

“We’re following the leader wherever she may go!” Amoreena yelled the lyrics back, leading the pack as Peter Pan should.

“Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day Tee dum, tee dee, it's part of the game we play Tee dum, tee dee, the words are easy to say Just a teedle ee dum, a teedle ee do tee day

Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee dum We're one for all, and all of us out for fun We march in line and follow the other one With a teedle ee do, a teedle ee do tee dum”

It was like magic, they all knew the words and they sang the whole way down the path. Every verse and then repeating it. Not a single kid strayed from the path, no one complained about sore feet or hot backs, they loved their Aunty Y/N and so did Spencer.

“We’re off on an adventure, adventure, adventure,” Y/N changed the words, making him smile as she brought happiness into the world. “We’re off on an adventure to read out in the sun! Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day…”

Every single time he thought she had given him the best day of his life, she manages to outdo herself.

—

They barely listened to the story, it was a disaster of epic proportions but they tried. 15 kids is a lot to handle as an ex FBI agent and a librarian, they had lunch and instead ran around the field playing lost boys instead. It was still an amazing afternoon.

He was going to be covered in bruises the next morning. He had been kicked, poked, trampled, jumped on, the whole 9 yards. They were the most energetic bunch in the whole world, and then they came home to ice cream.

“Y/N,” Spencer finally pulled her aside when all the kids were preoccupied with their cold snack after a hot day.

“Yes, cutie?” It was a nickname that was sticking, much like pretty boy, and he didn’t mind it at all.

“We’re going to need more than 2 songs tonight to get her to go to bed,” he teased, stepping into that step-dad role with ease.

She couldn’t stop smiling at him, wrapping him up in her arms gently so he didn’t crush her fairy wings. “We’ll take her swimming, that’ll tire her out instead. Are you lookin’ for some alone time?”

“I love her dearly, but I can’t kiss you as much when she’s around,” he whispered before pecking her quickly and hearing the group of lost boys pretend to be sick.

“Just because he’s my dad doesn’t mean you have to be gross like your mom and dad, mom,” Amoreena’s smart mouth making them both shake their heads and laugh.

“What would you do if I did this?” Y/N teased before dipping Spencer back like a princess and kissing him, he stuck his foot out in shock as she held him there.

“Ewww!!” All the kids yelled as she returned him to his feet.

“Or this?” Y/N pulled him into another kiss, her leg popping like Princess Mia’s in the princess diaries.

Amoreena and her cousins were all screaming then, laughing at how gross their aunt and her new boyfriend were being. Used to it clearly, their grandparents were just as in love and watching from the porch as they held each other on the swing.

“I love you,” Spencer announced, loud enough for all to hear without a care in the world.

“You better,” she smiled. “I love you too, cutie,” she added before kissing him one last time.

His life felt perfectly complete.

Y/N’s brothers were incredibly kind just like her. He learned that Ashley was the oldest with 5 kids and her wife Susie, then Ben who was 46 and his wife Shannon, they had 3 kids. Dylan and Laurie had 4 and Even, her twin brother had 3.

Turns out her mom had 2 sets of twins back to back, 7 children and only 5 pregnancies. It felt crazy for him to think about having that many people in his life for his whole life, he wouldn’t have known what to do with anyone more than just his mother growing up.

Spencer helped Bob with the barbecue, they made burgers and hotdogs for all 16 of the children while they continued to run through the fields. They had enough energy to last them 5 straight days of chaos. It was amazing.

Y/N and Spencer managed to wander off while all the kids ate, sitting under a tree with their dinner so they could finally have some time alone together.

She was beautiful, sitting in the afternoon amber glow as she tried to keep her hair from blowing in her face. Tucking the strands behind her ears so she could eat her dinner in peace before spencer handed her the hair tie on his wrist. Then she got ketchup on her cheek, seemingly on purpose as she smiled at him and laughing as Spencer wiped it off with his thumb. He was so in love he felt stupid, smiling at her like he’s never seen another person before, absolutely enamoured.

“Derek and his wife wanted to come over tomorrow and have his son meet Amoreena if that’s okay?”

Her face lit up, “his son is the one named after you right? Not your godson?”

He nodded with yet another smile, his lips were going to fall off at this point. “Yeah, he’s the sweetest little guy, Hank’s never been to a farm before.”

“You tell them our gates are always own to new minds and pure hearts,” she smiled. “That’s what nanny used to say.”

He leans in and kisses her then, resting his forehead against hers as she held his cheek in her free hand, smiling ever so softly as she stared into his eyes, they didn’t need words, he knew she loved him too. A week of pure bliss had passed within the blink of an eye, and they still had forever to go.

Taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spookyspence @spencers-dria @manuosorioh @reidsfish @mochionly (send me an ask if you want to be added to the tag list, I don't always see every reply! i love you guys thank you so much for reading)