#gwaine being a dumbass

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

I’m tempted to write the knights (plus Merlin, Gwen, Arthur, and Morgana obviously) having game night but reincarnated in the modern era, knowing they can’t kill each other but also wanting revenge for 1500 year old grudges.

Morgana would be petty towards Merlin and Arthur still, but whenever she says something about Merlin killing her, Gwaine just rolls his eyes like: “Oh no. The horror. I can’t even begin to imagine what torture you must’ve suffered.” Completely deadpan followed by “go fish, witch.” Or “uno, fuckers!”

Arthur makes Merlin constantly skip turns. Merlin gets annoyed but Arthur says he can’t cheat if he’s missing turns. (He’s more salty about Merlin cheating at dice with his magic than anything else)

Elyan and Leon gang up against Gwaine as revenge for all the tavern tales he told on long patrols.

Leon changes to colours he knows Merlin or Arthur don’t have and just says “Poetry” to explain why he’s upset. Merlin starts playing the ghost busters theme on his phone and Arthur is stuck between being traumatised and wheezing on the floor. Leon’s just wondering if that’s worse because at least ‘poetry’ would’ve meant they’d gotten over the pining. Whatever Merlin’s talking about with ghost busters means he didn’t walk into anything Merthur happening but also means he’s got another reason he was underpaid.

Gwen makes Morgana +16 and Morgana complains that they’re friends. Gwen looks her dead in the eyes and says “We were friends. Want a reminder of what happened?” And Morgana silently counts 16 cards. (They’ve made up about it all, but it’s still used as ammo to be petty and competitive on game nights)

Lancelot and Merlin have their own thing going on, no one can tell if they’re working together or trying to destroy each other. They all know better than to question it.

Percival wins because everyone always forgets about him.

Please tell me you see the vision.

[sunaoteam]

i just had a dream about the knights of camelot except in a kind of sci-fi-ish modern setting and boy you need to hear this.

so. gwaine and percival were on a mission which needed them to crawl through a forest where for some reason the visibility was so skewed that the bandits could only see them if they got close to fire or were in movement.

cue the dumbasses getting caught as soon as they set on their way because

percival: "i need to go pee"

now, it being weird-ass sci-fi, the bandits were mad scientists and, as pergwaine were lying there cuddling in the middle of the road trying to be as still as possible and BAREFOOT FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON, the bandits decided to find out if the two lumps in front of them were alive by tickling their toesies. with electricity. with gradually higher and higher voltage.

at one point the bandits were like million volts sound just about right for this VERY MUCH ALIVE AND WIGGLING HUNK, and wanted to shoot percial with it. to which gwaine, our lovely single braincell hero, volunteered himself if only the bandits were kind enough not to use million volts at once but divide it into 10 shots (cause 100k volts is perfectly okay apparently).

cue gwaine being moved somewhere to be annihilated with electricity and he panics cause. obviously he's gonna die.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE IDIOT DID?

decided to play it off as "i am a sorcerer", mumbled some bullshit AND PULLED FOUR HALF EATEN SLICES OF PIZZA OUT OF HIS POCKETS.

i woke up facepalming because one. he's dumb as shit. and two. it fucking worked to distract the bandit guy 😭😭😭😭

[clotpoleofcamelot]

merlin: gwaine! apologise now.

gwaine: *sighs* fine.

gwaine: arthur, if i’ve offended you with writing ‘dumb bitch’ and ‘dick’ all over your speech, i humbly apologise

gwaine: i honestly did not think you could read

[thatgaywizardoverthere]

This is my legacy

[morning-sunshine]

am I the only one who feels like we got so little of the knights of Camelot. like they literally deserved a show of their own. the pure dumbassery and adorkability of it all was just so pure and needed. they were ALL baby boys and I still need more even after all these years. fuck Uther and his dumb code I wanted them there since season one

[warlock-doctor-sociopath]

#you forget that elyan is THE round table short king#gwaine and arthur are bemoaning their shortness#while elyan is sittin over there even shorter than them#elyans just like: sire you have no right to complain#percival: exactly! unlike elyan you can actually reach the top shelf#elyan: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH

WHY WULD YOU HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS

merlin gives off the aura of being shorter than arthur when he’s actually taller and that’s one of my favorite things on god’s green earth

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

SFW🌿

⭑ You’re his only family (besides the Knights) 

⭑ He would tell you about why he’s alone, and what happened to those he loves without hesitating. It’s not information that he keeps secret. 

⭑ Forming a bond built on trust and honesty 

⭑ You were great friends with Morgana when she resided in Camelot. Your family were jewelers and Uther wanted a new bracelet for her upcoming birthday. However, unbeknownst to Uther, your family were also sorcerers. Magic was imbued in the pieces; protection or to attract love. Whatever the intent, your family was able to imbue it into the jewel. 

⭑ Your grandfather had grown up with Gaius, so you knew the healer well. 

⭑ Having magic yourself and hating Uther

⭑ Stealing his clothes

“Is that my shirt you’re wearing?” 

     “Yes, do you want it back?”

“No, it looks better on you.” 

⭑ Annoying the other Knights with how much he talks about you

⭑ Gwaine likes to rest his head in your lap

⭑ A LOT of flirting 

⭑ He likes teaching you about weapons and how to use them. His biggest fear is you getting hurt, and that he cannot protect you. 

⭑ Gwaine said “I love you” first 

⭑ You and Gwaine married after a year of being together. He knew he wanted to marry you after 2 months. But didn’t feel as if it was the right time. 

⭑ It was a lovely ceremony. Arthur wanted to pay for a lot, and Gwaine refused. So they compromised and Arthur paid of only part of it... 

⭑ You spend a lot of time with Guinevere, and you give her some of the jewelry from the shop. She doesn’t know the wearer is granted protection, only you and Merlin do. 

⭑ Oh and speaking of Merlin, you guys are best friends. It’s because you can both be honest about wielding magic. 

⭑ Teasing each other

⭑ He would never get tired of you

Relationship tropes: 

Endless Support & Love

Chaotic x Chaotic Dumbass

Mutual Morons In Love

NSFW🔞 minors dni!

⭑ Gwaine’s passion sweeps you off your feet. He’s all hands and lips; a blur of want and need. 

⭑ Equal dom/sub - he likes a woman who can put him in his place  

⭑ Very loud and very vocal. He forgets to be quiet a lot, and you have to put a hand over his mouth. 

⭑ Likes to put his fingers in your mouth while you suck on them

⭑ He’s a big fan of doggy and pushing you up against a wall

⭑ He doesn’t mind period sex

⭑ It’s quite common for sex to occur after arguments 

⭑ He likes to praise you, with his hands, mouth, and words. 

       “You’re doing so well for me, princess.” 

⭑ He has a high sex drive 

⭑ Likes it when you pull at his hair 

⭑ Especially when he’s going down on you - 

⭑ And he is very good at doing that. It’s like he knows exactly where to put his mouth, tongue, fingers  ... 

⭑ Has had experience, I mean look at him. Who wouldn’t want Gwaine’s attention, let alone his lips on your body??

⭑ He likes to fill your mouth with his cum, and watch you swallow it  

⭑ Gwaine is a fan of quickies, but they don’t happen very often. Even though he’s a high-energy guy, he knows that quickies rarely get you off - so he always wants to be fair

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Don’t Run

Prompts: hello hello hello i have a merlin fic idea (which you are Not obligated to write /gen) merlins been hiding his magic from arthur for ages (but arthur already knows about it, doesnt really care, and has just been waiting for merlin to tell him on his own terms). merlins magic gets revealed and merlin is Terrified. he basically begs aurthur to not burn him and instead banish him or something. arthur (who was not expecting this) decides hey maybe its a good idea to let all these emptions calm down before I talk about this with him because clearly merlin isnt okay right now. and so he leaves merlin to let him have a break. but merlin freaks (or gets kidnapped or something idk /lh) and decides 'fuck it time to run before he decides to kill me.' arthur now has to go find this magic dumbass (he's probably very worried about him) However, when he finds merlin, merlin assumes arthur is there to kill him and figures 'well if arthur wants me dead i suppose i'll have to die' or something.  arthur is naturally horrified and rushes to clear things up. again, if you dont want to write this/dont feel comfortable writing it, dont /gen (i know its detailed brain went brrrr at like midnight and thought this up lmao) have a great day!!! drink water or get bonked /lh - anon

me, as the angsty person i am, am a sucker for the 'Person A gets kidnapped or captured for a bit and when they're rescued think they're dreaming/hallucinating' trope. no pressure for you to write this ofc, feel free to ignore this /gen - anon

prompt: can you please do a Merlin gets betrayed by someone he cares about h/c fic? also can merlin be aroace and trans? - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: panic attacks, betrayal, anti-magic sentiments

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3725

It was supposed to be a normal hunt. It was supposed to be a normal hunt. 

It was supposed to be this: they get out of the castle so Arthur can be less of a prat, the knights have that weird banter that they always do where it’s ‘we can make fun of him but if anyone else tries, you will be eviscerated,’ and Merlin gets to enjoy being in the woods because it’s nice outside and he doesn’t actually have to do that much. They only tend to hunt small things like rabbits and birds anyway. 

It was not supposed to be most of the knights having to stay behind for various reasons, including Gwaine who somehow got swept into helping Leon with a council thing. 

It was not supposed to be just him, Arthur, and three random knights. 

It was not supposed to end like this. 

Merlin grunts, hitting the ground hard as a sword slams into his back. He gasps, struggling to find purchase on the loose dirt as the sound of shouts reach his ringing ears. He turns over, trying to get up, only to have the point of a sword leveled at his face. 

“G-Gareth?”

Gareth, the knight who had actually been decent to him—which meant he’d helped put away his equipment, helped Merlin tidy up, and actually been nice to him—snarls down at him, sword still aimed right at his throat. 

“What—what’s going on?”

“Don’t play dumb, you wretched thing,” the man growls, the point of the sword perilously close to slitting his throat, “I’ve had my eye on you since I came to Camelot.”

“Your eye on me—what? What’re you talking about?”

“As if you don’t know!”

Merlin’s breathing grows ragged as the sword forces his head back down on the ground. Gareth leans over him, spittle flying from his lips. 

“You’re poison,” hisses the same mouth that called him kind, called him compassionate, called him hopeful, “you’re a plague that deserves to be wiped out. Scum and traitors, all of you, inhuman bastards that drag the rest of us down to your level.”

It’s the shock of the words that does it, bringing tears to Merlin’s eyes as the conviction in the man’s face drives the sword down further. “G-Gareth, I—“

“Don’t.” 

He winces as the sword digs in. 

“Keep my name out of your hell mouth,” the man spits, “don’t try and curse me.”

“What,” says the most glorious and furious voice Merlin has ever heard, “is the meaning of this?”

Arthur.

Arthur storms up to them, his own sword drawn, eyes like flame as he sees Gareth with his sword at Merlin’s throat. 

“Drop it,” he warns in a voice of steel, “and I might just let you keep your life.”

“He’s a sorcerer, sire.”

Merlin’s blood runs cold. 

No. 

No. 

No, no, no, no, this can’t be happening. 

Not like this. Arthur wasn’t supposed to find out like this. No, he was—he was going to tell him, promise, he was but—but after, after everything was fine and fixed and then—then he could—

Not like this. Please, not like this. 

“A sorcerer? Merlin? You must be joking.”

“It’s no joke, sire.” Gareth snarls again. “I saw him with my own eyes. His eyes glowed, he threw a spear halfway across the arena without his hands. He has magic, I tell you.”

Merlin looks helplessly at Arthur but all he sees is a stony face. The blade turns him back after a second, back into the face of contempt and hatred and all the things that hurt far worse than any sword. 

“We must kill him,” Gareth says solemnly, “to root out the poison before it destroys us all.”

And before Merlin can say anything, before Arthur can say anything, he lifts the sword and makes to swing. 

“Merlin!”

A blast and Gareth is flying back across the clearing, smacking against the tree and falling to the ground with a clang. 

It rings in the still air. 

Merlin’s eyes widen. 

He doesn’t hear the cries of sorcerer, magic, evil over the pounding of his heart in his ears. He doesn’t see the light glint off of blades as they’re pulled from scabbards. He doesn’t feel the threat of others getting closer over the dread of what he’s just done. 

He’s killed himself. 

He used magic to hurt one of the knights of Camelot. 

He revealed himself in front of Arthur. 

What have I done?

“Sire, what do we do?” He hears the voice from a mile away. “I’ve never killed a sorcerer before.”

Never killed a sorcerer before. 

He’s asking Arthur how to kill a sorcerer. 

Arthur knows how to kill a sorcerer. 

Arthur has killed a sorcerer before. 

Arthur is going to kill me. 

Merlin shies away from them, curling up into a ball before realizing that could be seen as defiance and whimpering, throwing himself to his knees with his hands raised. 

“I’ll go,” he croaks, “I’ll—I’ll leave, you’ll never see me again, just—just let me go. Banish me instead.”

Please, just let me run. 

He can’t look at Arthur’s eyes, filled with rage and contempt like Gareth as he strikes him down. He can’t look at him like that, he can’t do it. He won’t survive that alone. It wouldn’t be the sword that kills him. 

“Please—please, I’ll go. I’ll go and you’ll never see me again,” he begs, “just—just let me go.”

“Pathetic,” another one of them says, “is that the best he can do? I’ve seen a dog beg better than that.”

Arthur still hasn’t said anything. 

“We need to kill him, sire,” Gareth says—oh, he must’ve gotten up— “who knows what he could do?”

Merlin finally looks up, if only to see how close they all are, and his eyes lock with Arthur’s. 

He can’t see any of the man he knows. 

“Return to camp,” says the stranger who wears Arthur’s face, “pack the supplies. We must make ready for a hasty retreat back to Camelot.”

“But sire—“

“Now.”

Two of the knights glance at each other and slowly begin to back away. Gareth remains for a moment longer. 

“Be wary, sire,” he says, “he’s tricky. Did his best to seduce me, he’s a wily one.”

“I can handle him. Go.”

Gareth shoots one last truly disdainful look at him before he retreats into the undergrowth, the sheen of his sword the last to vanish. 

Then it’s just the two of them. 

“Arthur,” Merlin gasps, “Arthur, please—“

“Shut up.”

The words are different. They’re not playful, not irritated, not—not Arthur. They’re cold. Impersonal. An order. They strike Merlin like rocks from a sling, making him flinch into a sharp rock that jabs right through the thin material of his trousers. His throat closes until only pained and pitiful whines can escape. 

They remain where they are for a long moment before Arthur begins to retreat as well, sword still held aloft, backing away until he’s far enough that Merlin can hardly see him. Only then does he turn. 

Merlin watches the single spot of red walk away from him until it vanishes into the forest. 

His magic tingles in the tips of his fingers and a soundless yell burns his throat as he shoves his hands against his chest, trying to make it go away, this is all your fault, you ruined everything, you always ruin everything!

He has to run. He has to run because sorcerers die in Camelot, they’re put to the sword or burned at the stake and he can’t look at Arthur while he kills him. He can’t. He just can’t. He’d sooner die of that than whatever execution they can dream up. 

With stumbling and clumsy steps that are dragged down by his traitorous magic that for some reason doesn’t want him to flee from the site of his execution, he scrambles to his feet and runs. 

If Arthur—if Arthur finds him after this, he can say he tried to run. He can run again, he’ll keep running. He’ll spend his life running if it means Arthur won’t kill him and he won’t have to see it. 

He runs harder and faster than he’s ever run before because Arthur is a warrior who’s been trained to kill since birth and he’s stronger and faster and can run for longer and if he catches Merlin—

He loses track of where he is. He just runs. 

But his magic, his damned magic, that has always loved Arthur more than it loves him, won’t let him. 

Like a tether from his navel that twists through the forest, he knows exactly where Arthur is. And exactly when he starts to give chase. 

A wretched sob tears itself from his throat and he pushes on, his magic dragging him back each step as Arthur gets closer, closer, closer, and he’s no longer just hearing his own breath and phantom footsteps as he crashes through the woods. He can hear the snapping of twigs, the rustling of leaves, and that voice. 

That damned voice. 

“Merlin!”

He can’t stop. If he stops he dies. If he stops Arthur kills him. If he stops he—he—

His magic all but throws him over a root and he yelps, turning into a frightened scream as he’s pitched down a hill and into a boulder with a crack. 

“Merlin!”

Leaves rustle as Arthur skids down the hill after him and he’s so close, he’s right there and Merlin has to run, he has to run now, but his legs are shaking and his arms won’t work and his magic keeps tugging him back toward Arthur and he just collapses into a useless, cowering mess at Arthur’s feet. 

“Merlin!”

“No—no fire,” he gasps out, “please, you—you can do it here, I won’t fight, I won’t—you can use your sword, please, no fire, I don’t want to burn—please, no fire—“

A strong hand grips his shoulder and pulls him in to—

No sword pierces his chest. No dagger finds a home in his gut. There are no hissed words, no glares, no low solemn speeches about magic as a plague. 

He can’t even see Arthur anymore. Just the hill. There are two tracks in it. One where he fell and one where Arthur skidded after him. Red fabric flutters in front of him too. Arthur’s cape. 

Why can he see Arthur’s cape?

Only when a head turns and breath starts to puff over his neck does he realize what’s happened. 

“A-Arthur?”

“Don’t you ever,” Arthur says in a rush, chest still heaving against Merlin’s where he’s pulled him flush against him, legs tangled in a heap, “scare me like that again.”

He’s…he’s in Arthur’s lap. Arthur’s holding him. Arthur’s hugging him. 

Arthur has his face buried in Merlin’s neck and he’s telling him not to scare him like that again. 

“Arthur?”

“You,” he says, and he sounds like Arthur again—a very angry Arthur, but at least it’s Arthur— “are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

He pulls back and his eyes are still on fire but he’s looking at Merlin like a starving man. 

“Why did you run? You could’ve been hurt! You were hurt, you slammed into the rock like it broke your back.” He runs a hand over Merlin’s spine as if reassuring himself Merlin’s not hurt. “You idiot, I almost lost you.”

Merlin just blinks. Almost…lost him? Doesn’t Arthur want to kill him?

“Well?”

Oh. Arthur’s waiting for an answer. “Aren’t you going to kill me?”

Arthur’s face goes white, slack in horror, then contorts anew in red rage. “No, Merlin, I’m not going to bloody kill you.”

“B-but you—“

“I didn’t want the others to try, you absolute petticoat,” he says, still glaring, “because you’re a little lamb who rolls over whenever anyone is trying to fight you except me—which is rude, by the way—and you wouldn’t so much as lift a finger to defend yourself if they tried!”

…that’s why he sent them away?

Arthur rolls his eyes when he voices that thought. “Yes, Merlin. They’re under the impression that they’re to start back to Camelot without me to gather reinforcements.”

Reinforcements—the knights—no— 

“Calm down, you idiot, they’re not actually going to—oh, for the love of—Merlin.”

Merlin listens to that. He freezes in Arthur’s arms as Arthur’s hand comes up to cup the back of his head. He stares at him pointedly, gaze flicking from one eye to the other. 

“I lied,” he says slowly as if he’s talking to a child, “so they would leave.”

“You…you did?”

“Yes. Because then I could talk to you about having magic—hey,” he says firmly as Merlin tries to pull away again, “none of that. Stay with me.”

Another order. He can do those. 

“Right. I wanted to talk with you about having magic so that now we can work together to keep things like this from happening and—where are you going?”

“What do you mean now,” Merlin asks, eyes widening as he tries anew to struggle away from Arthur, “what does that mean?”

“Merlin, I’ve known you’ve had magic for a while now, and—“

“You what?”

“Come on, you’re not exactly good at hiding it all the—hey!”

Merlin had flailed, succeeding in loosening Arthur’s grip and sending them both falling over. He scrambles up, trying to claw his way free but Arthur is faster and he’s on him in an instant. 

“This isn’t working,” he hears Arthur growl to himself before arms like steel bands close around him, hauling his back against Arthur’s chest as legs lace through his and pin him well and truly. 

“N-no—“

“Shh,” comes Arthur’s voice, suddenly soft and gentle and Merlin hates the way he instantly relaxes, “easy, now. It’s alright. You’re alright.”

A truly pathetic whine leaves his mouth and Arthur hums. 

“I’m not going to kill you,” the gentle voice says again, “I’m not going to burn you and I’m not going to use my sword. You will not die.”

But he’s a sorcerer. Sorcerers die in Camelot. 

“I sent away the others to protect you. They’re not going to hurt you either. The knights—our knights—won’t let you be hurt and neither will I.” Arthur’s lips brush the shell of his ear. “You’re safe, Merlin. I’m going to protect you.”

“But,” Merlin gasps, “but I’m a sorcerer.”

“Yes,” Arthur says patiently, “you are. I’ve known that for a while. You are Merlin, you are a sorcerer, and I’m going to protect you.”

“Sorcerers die in Camelot. You—you should kill me.”

“I am not going to kill you. You are mine,” and there’s a hint of steel in his words now too, “and no one is going to touch you.”

His magic thrums in his veins and slowly, slowly his breathing slows. 

“If I let you go, will you run again?”

“N-no.”

“Alright.”

Arthur lets him go and Merlin doesn’t run. He lets Arthur turn him around and cup his neck again, the other hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t look mad anymore. 

“Is that why you ran,” he asks, still speaking softly, “did you think I was going to kill you?”

When Merlin nods, looking away in shame, he just hums again. 

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“I know that now.”

“Mhm. So when we go back—“

“Back?” Merlin’s head jerks up. “You’re not banishing me either?”

“What part of ‘I’m going to protect you’ did you not understand?”

“B-but I thought—“

“No, you didn’t,” he says in that soft voice that makes the insult almost an endearment, “you didn’t think because you didn’t realize that I could never kill you or send you away. I’d sooner leave with you.”

His magic hums as if to verify the truth in his words. “You…you would?”

Arthur frowns, but it’s not an angry frown. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“How important you are.”

The forest seems to fall silent. 

Merlin’s eyes widen so much he’s afraid they’re going to fall out of his head. And Arthur’s just looking at him with his face all sincere and his voice is still soft and his hands are gentle where they hold Merlin like he’s something precious and—and—

“What?”

“All those jokes,” Arthur says, “about you and being replaceable and being the worst and a coward…I never really meant them. Never. Well, you are an awful servant, but none of the others. I don’t want you to leave.”

Slowly, like he’s coaxing a skittish animal to him, he pulls him closer. 

“I want you.”

Something in Merlin’s chest breaks and he’s sobbing into Arthur’s shoulder in the next moment, hands scrabbling uselessly at his cape, his armor, his hair, every bit of him that he can reach. Arthur weathers the storm like a castle in a gale, holding him tight enough that he won’t blow away. 

“I want you,” he whispers, sweet rain in the clouded sky, “I want you to stay, Merlin.”

————

He’s on his back. He’s got a sword at his throat. Arthur stares down at him like his glare is enough to burn him alive and he’s snarling out Merlin’s name. 

“Magic is a plague. You’re poison. You’ve betrayed me. How could you do this?”

Merlin can’t speak. His mouth trapped shut. Arthur lifts the sword. 

“You’re nothing but an inhuman beast,” come the words that hurt far more than any mortal weapon, “you, who cannot love, who are of twisted mind and body, you who do not understand what it is to be a human.”

All of the secrets he’d hoped to hide…exposed for the world to see.

“May all of Camelot curse your name,” he growls, “Merlin. Merlin, Merlin—“

“Merlin!”

Merlin gasps, jolting upright, trying to get away from the sword, just run—

“Merlin, calm down,” Arthur says, wrapping his arms around him and coaxing him to his chest, “it’s only a dream, Merlin, it’s only a dream.”

No, no, this must be the dream. Why would he be in Arthur’s chambers, at night, in bed, in bed with Arthur—this can’t be—

“Shh, shh, shh, sweetheart,” Arthur murmurs, lying back down with Merlin in his arms, “I’ve got you. It’s only me. You’re safe.”

“A-Arthur?”

“Yes, sweetheart. It’s me.” There’s a mouth on his neck. “Just me.”

He’s still panting, the run still pushing through his legs. Arthur hums, settling him into the blankets and propping himself up over him. 

“Where are you right now?”

“Forest,” Merlin chokes out, “sword. You were going to—to kill me.” He swallows. “Said all of Camelot would curse my name.”

“You’re with me,” Arthur says gently, “we’re in the castle. I’m not going to kill you. Can you see?”

He looks around. There’s the desk. There’s the window. Arthur’s white nightshirt is shining in the moonlight. 

“…yeah.” He swallows. “I’m—I’m not abusing you, am I?”

Arthur almost reels back in shock. “What? What on earth are you talking about?”

“I—‘cause I can’t—I can’t love the way that—“

“Stop right there,” Arthur orders, leaning down and cupping his face in his hands, “don’t you give a damn about that, you hear me? I care for you, I’m fond of you, you care for me, you’re fond of me, yes?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then that’s all that matters.”

Merlin swallows again. “And I’m not…wrong?”

“‘Wrong?’”

“…you don’t mind—“ he blushes— “my—my body?”

“Your bod—goodness, Merlin, this must’ve been quite the nightmare.” Arthur shakes his head. “No, Merlin, your body’s yours. You do what you like with it.”

It says something about how rattled he is that he doesn’t reach for any of the jokes he could make right now. 

“Hey,” Arthur calls, leaning down and carding his fingers through his hair, “be gentle with yourself, alright? That was a horrible thing that happened, let it heal in its own time.”

“But it’s hard.”

“I know.” Arthur leans over to kiss his cheek. “Trust me, I know.”

Merlin rolls over, wrapping his arms around Arthur as he chuckles in surprise, pulling him into a proper cuddle. 

“You just have to stay, then, until it feels better.”

“Oh, Merlin,” he hears faintly as sleep begins to tug at him once more, “you don’t need to make reasons for me to stay. I’m staying with you, sweetheart, for the rest of our lives.”

[fluffypotatey]

Operation Merthur: Part 1

“You want me to do what?”

Malifer sighed. He really didn't want to repeat this again. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Malifer straightens his posture. He isn’t paid enough for this.

“Sire, I’ve told you this ten times.”

“Yes, yes, I understand that. But...why?”

The poor knight looked so confused and caught off guard. Fair. They did corner him with this request. Maybe Malifer should’ve gone to Sir Gwaine first. That knight always seemed more inclined to give them favors. But this was a special request. One that is not in Sir Gwaine’s jurisdiction. 

“We only ask, sire, is for you to ask His Majesty about...his opinions on his manservant.” Malifer prays for the first time in his life for Sir Leon to not ask him to repeat this request again. “See, we are only asking for the benefit of our dear friend, Merlin. Just in case, you know?”

Sir Leon's eyebrows furrow at the mention of Merlin’s name, but he still looked uncomfortable. Malifer understood why. Sir Leon was always a man who went by the book; very meticulous and always noble to a point that it was a little infuriating. Although, in Malifer’s humble opinion, Sir Lancelot takes the cake on being infuriatingly noble, but Sir Leon is second just for him always feeling the need to be so...virtuous. Great, now Mailer felt like gagging.

Fortunately, Charlie (think of him as Malifer’s second in command) saves Malifer from making a fool of himself in front of the knight. He wraps his arm around Malifer as an act of nonchalance. It’s an act mostly because they need Sir Leon to agree to this request for their plan to get in motion, and there was only so much a couple of nosy servants could do to meddle in the affair of something as important as this. 

“We don’t want you to…snoop, per say. More of”— Charlie made some kind of gesture with his free hand— “investigate the affairs of His Majesty’s heart. We understand that you are a very honorable man held by your code and by no means are we asking you to do anything treasonous.”

“I understand that,” Sir Leon gruffs. It seems this topic has made him flustered. Malifer is seriously ready to call it quits and ask Gwaine. “It’s just...don’t you think this is an invasion of privacy? I feel like we should just leave them to figure out themselves.”

Malifer groans. This isn’t going anywhere. Why did he think he could convince the ever virtuous Sir Leon into joining this operation? New plan: ask Gwaine and pray it works.

“Listen, Sire.” Malifer makes sure to stretch the sire out a bit to let the knight know how annoyed he is becoming. Merlin is a bad influence when it comes to decorum and proper etiquette. “In case you have been blind for four years, let me inform you that there has been no progress between those two imbeciles!”

The knight flinches at Malifer, referring to his two friends with such a name, but Malifer never gives him the chance to defend them.

“I don't know about you, but I am getting sick and tired of seeing them give each other those disgusting dopey eyes. Not to mention the amount of hours I have to hear Merlin talk about the King’s arms, face, hair, and--God forbid his fucking eyes, everyday--and always giving that sickly, sweet smile! I can’t take it, Sir Leon! And if you won't help me, I’ll meddle in these affairs by myself!”

He finishes looking straight at the knight. His chest rising and falling as he recollects himself. Charlie seemed to have grabbed him during his rant to ensure Malifer didn’t get all up on the knight’s face, but the damage was done. 

Sir Leon was at a loss for words. His face said it all. The shock was only a dream that vanished and his face became blank. Leon pursed his lips and crossed his arms. He looks back to the duo.

“You said you and some servants have created a whole operation?”

Now we’re getting somewhere.

-

Operation Get These Dumbasses Together (Gwaine coined the name Merthur but Malifer thinks it’s a stupid name and quite likes its original title, thank you very much) was a work in progress. It was actually an accident on how this operation got started. It was...after the whole fiasco with Mercia and Merlin being poisoned, if Malifer wants to really start at the beginning. 

Anyway, Merica had come for a treaty signing thing (Malifer isn’t exactly one who kept up with things like this, gossip was more up his alley), and everything went to shit the moment Merlin accused Mercia of trying to poison prince Arthur. Of course a servant accusing another kingdom of such an act was laughable and caused some arguments until King Uther (may his soul be forever facing its crimes in the afterlife) ordered Merlin to drink from said poisoned drink because who gives a shit about a servant’s life? Not Uther that’s for sure.

Prince Arthur did though, and would have drank it in Merlin’s stead, but of course that wasn’t going to happen. To sum it up, the cup was poisoned. Merlin, in critical condition of dying, was not doing so hot anymore. Prince Arthur, who had only known Merlin for...was it really only a month?! Wow. Anyway, Prince Arthur left Camelot (against his own father’s wishes) to find some flower to save Merlin. 

This, my friends, was the beginning of Malifer and Charlie’s delve into meddling in affairs they probably should have stayed out of.

It started out as a joke. Honestly, Charlie really was joking:

“Apparently, Prince Arthur left Camelot to save his servant.”

“Did he?” asked Malifer who was stuck cleaning the kitchens and missed all the drama much to his discontent.

“Yeah, it was really dramatic. Seems that the only way for Merlin to survive is to find this...flower of some sort? But the King was against the prince going to fetch it since, well,” Charlie’s face darkened as he remembered hearing the King’s exact words on how he felt about the servant’s fate. Such was the life of servants under Uther’s reign. Don’t be seen, don’t be heard, and never expect royalty to give a rat’s ass about you. Malifer stops his cleaning to face Charlie and his face falls grim in understanding. He reaches to squeeze Charlie’s shoulder. 

“Poor Merlin,” Malifer whispers, “he was quite a firecracker wasn’t he?”

Charlie snorts. He relaxes his shoulders then. 

“But the prince still left?”

Charlie smirks. “Yeah, went against his old man just to save his servant’s life.” A pause. “It must be love.”

Malifer chuckles at that. As if. It still made him smile. The prince and his manservant. Huh. The prince in love with his manservant.

The Prince...in love?

“HOLY SHIT!”

And that friends, is how Malifer dragged Charlie along to spy on the couple at whatever chance they could. Soon, Charlie’s stablehand friend, David joined, adding his own theories. Clara came next, then Greg, then Sean, then Maddox, then Mary, then...every single servant was in on this once small operation. A betting pool was made a month later. 

“I’m telling you! Gwen and Merlin are very close, so maybe—”

“Don’t even suggest that!”

“He did accuse himself of sorcery to save her life that one time,” someone murmured.

Silence.

“Goddamnit, Stephen!”

“What? It’s true! Prince Arthur even said so!”

“Oh please, can we really trust the prince for something like this? He could have assumed wrong and gotten jealous for no reason!”

“Merlin is very adamant on them being friends.”

“See! False alarm everyone.”

“But...don’t some people just say that because they’re in denial?”

Groans echo around the kitchen, their designated place to discuss and plan. A new pairing is added to the chalkboard under Arthur x Morgana (this of course would be later erased after the Lady is revealed to be Prince Arthur’s half sister). Grumbling ensues and later Merlin x Morgana is added as well as Merlin x Lancelot. That last one had a bit more of an uproar but was still added since it was mentioned (fucking Stephen) that Merlin forged Lancelot’s nobility and Arthur was totally jealous of Merlin’s attention not on him (bless you Mary).

When the servants found out about Gwaine, well…

“I asked Merlin about his last adventure with the prince and it seems he was very soft spoken about this stranger named Gwaine,” Melody told Malifer. 

“Really? Soft spoken how?”

“From what I heard, he helped them during a brawl in the tavern—” of course he did— “and got injured. Apparently, he’s staying in Gauis’s care which means he is staying with Merlin”

Melody looked pleased with her deduction. Malifer was not. This could put a damper on the operation’s plans, so Malifer went to find him on the excuse of curiosity.

When Malifer did meet Gwaine, he found him very charming. Gwaine was courteous, fun, and incredibly likable. Malifer felt a tinge of guilt over his quick dislike of such a charming man. He had half a mind to get Gwaine to join the operation.

Unfortunately, Gwaine’s stay didn’t last long, but it was fun while it lasted. In honor of such a charming man, the operation agreed to keep the pairing between Gwaine and Merlin since, admittedly, they would be a good pair for one another.

Skipping a couple more years, (after Morgana’s fall, Uther’s death, and other events) we find ourselves back to the present with Arthur as king, the Knights of the Round Table established, and there is still no progress on those two dunderheads.

However, that doesn’t stop those two from being so disgustingly cute. Malifer sometimes catches a glimpse of King Arthur’s longing looks, touches that stay longer than Charlie would consider “friendly,” and that fucking dopey smile. The servants know very well that Merlin is head over heels. Malifer is actually surprised that they have kept this operation secret from Merlin for so long. 

It’s actually Gwen that Malifer has to thank for that. She’s been in this operation for three years and knows front and center how far gone her poor friend is. It’s also Gwen who gives Malifer the idea of asking Sir Leon for help in these trying times.

-

“So, how did it go?” Malifer asks after Leon enters their agreed meeting spot to share information. He won’t ever admit it to Leon’s face, but having Leon agree to help Operation Merthur (fucking Gwaine) was a Godsend. At this point, Malifer was grasping at the seams because he, as well as every other inhabitant in this kingdom, knew Merlin’s feelings for KIng Arthur and he knew the feelings were reciprocated. Unfortunately, intuition isn’t enough to convince said manservant to confess his feelings (not to mention Malifer is in no way able to ask that of the king being as Malifer has never conversed with him).

“The general meeting we had went well,” Malifer rolled his eyes, “but the minute I asked about him courting anyone, he got agitated.”

Interesting. 

“This could mean one of many things you know.”

Leon then rolls his eyes at Malifer. Well then, sorry for stating the obvious. “I’m well aware of that, so I pressed on.”

“And?” Malifer raises his brow. What is with knights and theatrics?

“And, well,” Leon coughed his cheeks looking a bit more pink than usual. “And well, he’s not courting anyone, but then he started venting about the...silliness of Kings being expected to court someone so soon.” Malifer has a sneaking suspicion that the king didn't say silly, but he nodded along. The king ranting is good. He could let anything slip that he would usually keep well hidden, and this is Sir Leon, King Arthur’s most trusted knight and childhood friend. “He then goes on to say how he has too much on his plate,” Understandable, “and technically he’s not really interested because…”

Malifer frowns at the sudden pause and looks up to Sir Leon (why does he have to be so tall?). His mouth is shaped in a circle. Realization flashes in his eyes. Malifer huffs and crosses his arms.

“Because…?” He taps his foot while he waits for Leon to come back from wherever his mind went. Malifer stares while he waits (he has nothing better to do, really). Sir Leon isn’t wearing his armor today which is a little odd to see since that’s all Malifer has ever seen him in, but it's not...terrible. To be honest, the armor hid a lot of the muscles Sir Leon appears to have. His arms are also crossed so it’s easier to see the muscles flexed there and-- okay! Time to get back on track and not think any more about Leon’s arms, thighs, chest, neck….fuck.

Malifer clears his throat and that seems to get Leon’s attention again. He blinks at Malifer who’s now a little more than flustered to be held under the knight’s gaze. Maifer shuffles his feet and averts his eyes anywhere but at Leon.

“Well?”

Leon coughs and straightens up. “Right. Well, he said he wasn’t interested in courting any lady’s because, well, he stopped himself there. But I think it's probably because he was going to say that it’s because he’s already interested in someone.”

Malifer’s eyes widen and he smiles. Finally! 

“And he’s not courting them?”

“No, it seems not.”

“Hm,” Malifer smirks, “I wonder why is that?”  

Leon smiles. It softens his features. It makes him look-- Malifer shakes his head. That’s not the important thing here. The important thing is that Arthur is interested in someone, but won’t court them.

“Maybe it’s because they aren't technically noble?” He ponders mockingly.

Leon nods but his smile stays firm on his face since he is in on the game. “And this person may not exactly be a lady.”

“But it is very close to him for him to be that flustered.”

They grin at each other, proud they both reached the same conclusion.

“Merlin?” Leon’s eyes twinkle with mischief that Malifer has never seen on the knight before.

“Oh most definitely.”

-

That evening, Malifer wasn’t stuck in the kitchen (Charlie was and had half a mind to murder Malifer for throwing him under the bus to escape the cook’s wrath) and was enjoying himself. He interacted with the other servants, chatted with Gwaine and Percival on the importance of sleeves (“I’m telling you, Perce. It wouldn’t hurt, and someone might try to attack them since there’s no protection.” A huff. “I would get to them first.” “Perce, please.”), and watched the king and his servant float around each other. 

Seriously, it was like they were in their own world or something. 

Merlin went to pour some water for Leon, who was next to King Arthur, but then Merlin must have said something to cause the king to tug on Merlin’s scarf pulling him eye to eye with himself. They gazed at each other for a while, forgetting that Leon was even there. Malifer saw his shoulders slump as he grabbed the pitcher to pour his own cup (it was not water). Malifer shakes his head in sympathy for the poor knight.

When the king finally let Merlin go, Malifer caught Leon’s eye and the knight only shrugged in response to Malifer’s raised eyebrow. The king seemed to catch their interaction and frowned looking between the two. He leaned in to say something that Malifer wouldn’t be able to hear. Whatever it was, it caused Sir Leon to flush profusely and hide his face in his cup while the king laughed. Malifer tilted his head in confusion then shrugged. It’s probably none of his business.

-

The next day saw Malifer's second plan go into motion: breaking Merlin. Many have tried to get him to admit his feelings, but all have failed. However, this can only work with the help of Lady Guinevere and Gaius, the royal physician. 

Malifer doesn’t know the royal physician personally, but he does know Gwen thanks to her lovely contribution to the Operation. With Gwen's help, they should be able to convince Gaius to help them in reaching their goal.

On the way to the physician’s chambers Gwen is skipping and humming in excitement while Malifer is shaking with nerves. It shouldn’t be that hard. It's Gaius, and Gwen assured Malifer that Gaius would definitely be all for this plan. While his mind is running through different scenarios on how this will pan out, he doesn’t notice someone else coming down the hallway and walks straight into metal. Fucking knights.

“Are you alright? Malifer?”

Malifer’s nose twitches as he looks up to who’s talking. Of course. Sir Leon in all his armor glory. He looks down at Malifer (seriously, Malifer isn’t that short!) his face looking concerned. Malifer’s nose twitches (winces really) again and he goes to touch it. 

“I’m fine,” he says, then winces after touching his nose. Leon frowns.

“I beg to differ.”

“Well, it sucks to suck. I’m fine, really.”

Leon still looks unconvinced but sighs as if resigned. Malifer reasons it must be because he knows other people who do the same thing.

“If you say so.”

Malifer’s lips purse. The nerve. He said he was fine. Leon doesn’t have to be concerned. He sniffs indignantly then regrets it.

“Well, I ran into you anyway, so...I’ll be careful next time.”

Leon chuckles. “I hope so.” His gaze stays fixed on Malifer and now he feels caught. Thankfully, Gwen comes to the rescue (bless her, really).

“We're sorry to have bumped into you. Anyway, we were on our way to see Gaius and it’s best to get to him before his work begins.” She gently nudges Malifer to follow her up to Gaius’s chambers. Malifer looks back to see Leon wave with a soft smile on his face. Malifer can feel his lips widen as he waves back.

“At least we now have an excuse to see him urgently,” Gwen says, but her eyes hold mischief in them. Malifer frowns. He doesn’t like where this is going.

“So.” Malifer can feel the floor escape from his feet as she turns to face him. He looks away. “You’re blushing.”

His head snaps back to her. “I am not!”

“Mhm, sure. So….” Malifer groans, already knowing where Gwen is going. “You and Sir Leon seem to be friendly.”

Malifer huffs and crosses his arms (he seems to be doing that alot). “Of course we are! He’s in on the plan. Just, he’s just here to help us get Arthur’s side just like how we’re using Gaius for Merlin! I mean, he’s not a bad guy. Isn’t snobby like some nobles and knights I know. I mean, he's no Gwaine but you know what I mean.”

“Oh? Gwaine?”

Malifer thinks his face just exploded. That’s not what he meant, and she knows that.

“I-I...I meant he’s not as down to earth as Gwaine. Gwaine’s charming, but he’s not my type.”

“And your type is…?”

Was it really taking this long to get to Gaius’s chambers? Gwen said they were close some minutes ago. He looks around avoiding Gwen and his obvious blush. He finds a sign to the chambers not long after and gives out a sigh of relief.

“Come on, the physician’s chamber is this way. I would like to get my nose treated, thank you very much.”

Gwen sighs and follows him up the stairs. Hoping that Gaius will help them in their plan.

-

“Of course I will!” Gaius exclaims.

Well, that was easy.

Gwen smiles and thanks Gaius while he continues to treat Malifer’s nose. He winces a couple of times but other than that he can feel his nose starting to recover.

“I’ve been living with that boy long enough to get tired of his obvious pining and the King-” Gaius rolls his eyes, “-I’ve been taking care of him since he was a little boy. Both of them are quite the pair aren’t they?”

Gwen and Malifer nod in agreement. Nobody is blind when it comes to seeing King Arthur and Merlin’s affections for one another. Now with Gaius’s help, they could find a way to speed up the torturous pining that this kingdom has been suffering from.

“So, what’s the plan?”

Malifer begins to explain his and other’s findings, as well as what Leon has been telling him. Gaius nods along and begins to share his own ideas. Gaius seems against anything that would be surrounded following Merlin, but concedes to confronting Merlin on confessing. Gwen adds that Arthur could be confronted on the fact of why he isn’t inclined to court anyone. 

It’s while they are in their hushed conversation that a tired Merlin enters the chambers. Gaius notices first and opens his mouth to greet him, but something weird happens. Malifer, who could have sworn that his eyes were deceiving him, watched as Merlin's eyes glowed gold and the chair near the shelf covered in potions moved closer to Merlin. Once it’s behind him, Merlin collapses on top of it. Malifer’s jaw drops.

“Merlin!” Gaius hisses. That seems to wake up the servant (no, sorcerer). He dazedly looks up at Gaius and smiles, raising his hand up to wave but freezes. It seems he notices Gwen and Malifer now. His smile falls.

“Well,” Malifer says, eyes still wide, “this complicates things.”

part 2

[weakforarwen]

The Eye of the Phoenix is such a good episode! It has adventure! humor! Gwen! Gwaine! Arwen! Merlin and Gwen! Merlin and Gwaine!

The episode's opening scene is one of the show's best. The solemnity of the entire affair: Arthur in all white, barefooted, ready to kneel all night to receive guidance from the spirits of the ancient Kings. The fact that he didn't fall asleep and actually went into a transe tells me that Gaius 100% slipped him something. Dude probably hallucinated his whole mission, but, really, it was all the Fisher King's doing, right?

It's hilarious that Uther and Arthur were anti magic and superstition but believed the spirits of the ancient Kings could communicate with them. Even funnier is that the mission was to find the resting place of an ancient King, who had also been a warlock, and steal a Trident from him. In the path to the Fisher King Arthur even encountered magic. The hypocrisy... Make it make sense. Arthur risked his life just to steal a useless Trident from an old King and keep it as a trophy. Men are the worst. Arthur's happiness when he found the shabby looking Trident was hilarious though. Merlin and Gwaine's reactions were priceless. What was even the point of the whole quest? Uther was really all about old-fashioned tradition. One of the biggest days in Arthur's life was praying on his knees to figure out which useless quest he was supposed to embark on alone, knowing that to succeed on his chosen mission meant he was ready to become King, because we all know stealing someone else's riches is the hallmark of a great King... Like Merlin said, it was a glorified treasure hunt.

Anyway, the opening scene was hilarious. Gwen and Merlin making fun of Arthur was everything:

G: What's he actually doing? M: Thinking. G: About? M: You. Shhh. He has to decide upon a quest. G: And crouching on his knees all night is going to help? M: Yes. He has to transcend his body so that the quest is revealed to him in a vision. G: And you're going to stay here and watch him? M: Gwen, this is one of the most important days in a prince's life.

Perfect. Cute and funny and everything. Arthur's a dumbass but he's their dumbass.

The episode was really funny overall. I liked all the Arthur and Merlin scenes, even those where Merlin was hiccuping and disturbing Arthur's "concentration". The entire episode was just making fun of Arthur for being so serious about such a stupid tradition and it was wonderful.

When Gwaine and Arthur finally rescued Arthur and he was angry they interrupted his quest, I could honestly relate. I'm like that when my parents bother me even if they are technically helping me. I'm a brat, same as Arthur. Merlin was so indulgent though, in a fond yet exasperated way. To be fair, Arthur had probably been dreaming all his life about following in his ancestors' footsteps and going on an adventure to prove he was worthy of becoming King - we know Arthur loves to prove himself in useless ways - and yet he had to be rescued by his servant and Gwaine. I guess I can understand why he felt annoyed... But what I can't understand is how he didn't wonder why he'd been so sleepy? It's like he forgot he'd been on the verge of passing out for no reason the whole time. How did he justify that?

Also, how did Merlin find Gwaine? How did he know which town or kingdom he was in? He wasn't in Camelot, right? And he found Gwaine so quicky? They didn't have GPS or cars. Just horses and faulty maps...

Gwaine was such a blast. I adore his friendship with Merlin and how he wasn't impressed by Arthur - who, btw, didn't even say thank you to Gwaine for saving his life, but did say he wouldn't forget what he'd done. The last time I watched this episode, Arthur's ungratefulness bothered me, but this time it amused me. I think he was grateful and acting annoyed was his way of showing he felt safe and comforted to not be alone anymore. Even the part where Merlin asked for a day off and Arthur said no was endearing this time.

I just wished we'd had more Arwen (their kiss was super cute, and Gwen's surprise and delight was adorable, but I wanted to see their reunion and not just Gwen being happy Arthur had come back safe), and at least one Gwaine/Gwen moment! We were robbed of their friendship. They were so cute in the Gwaine episode, but we got nothing after that. I know Gwaine wasn't allowed back in Camelot, but even just a mention of Gwen by Gwaine would've been great!

On a more serious note, Arthur did well on his stupid quest. He was dying it but he almost made it without help. Even though it wasn't his quest, he proved himself still.

Now, the Fisher King... I had a theory that he was another Emrys and/or Arthur's predecessor, and that thought stands, but I'm very confused by him. He was like Merlin and Arthur in one, but what does that mean for the characters?

The Fisher King was immortal and had magic, but was his purpose, like Merlin, to help Arthur? He said he could finally die now that the age of the Once and Future King was upon them, which could mean he'd been waiting for his successor. He'd been a legendary King, like Arthur was destined to become, and Morgana's bracelet killed him. It had been made for Arthur but wearing the bracelet was enough to kill him without him needing to spell it... because he was Arthur's kin? Or was it a plot hole? The Fisher King lived centuries and served Albion in its hour of need by helping Merlin. With his death, the curse upon his lands was lifted, so he saved his Kingdom one last time too. But he hadn't been Albion's True King. Perhaps that made him another Emrys, for it was also Merlin's job to save Albion? The Fisher King hadn't waited for Arthur; it had been Merlin's quest to find him, not Arthur's. According to him, only Merlin could save Albion. But wasn't that Arthur's destiny? Or would Arthur only save Albion after he became the Once and Future King? Until then, it was up to Merlin? It's so hard to separate Arthur and Merlin's destinies; they're one and the same, really, but this was another episode that made me wonder why Albion needed Arthur at all if it seemed Merlin was meant to do everything? Is it because Arthur had political power and an Army?

As for Morgana, Gwen clearly saw her do magic and went to Gaius because she felt scared and didn't know what to do. So why didn't she tell Arthur? She feared Morgana and Gaius confirmed her suspicions. Had she been trying to spare Morgana's life and wait to see what else she'd do? But she still kept quiet after Queen of Hearts, when she knew of Morgana's betrayal... She may not have had proof, but that didn't matter. Would Arthur have told Gwen her eyes tricked her when she saw Morgana practice magic? Would he have told her Morgana's unusual behavior was due to the drama she'd experienced while she was gone? Would he have dismissed Gaius and Merlin's suspicions too? I can imagine Arthur doing all that, but I can also imagine Gwen being able to convince him. Not telling Arthur was a betrayal in itself...

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Gwaine: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?

Merlin: Strong

Arthur: Weak

Leon: A dumbass. It makes you a dumbass.

[sunaoteam]

i just had a dream about the knights of camelot except in a kind of sci-fi-ish modern setting and boy you need to hear this.

so. gwaine and percival were on a mission which needed them to crawl through a forest where for some reason the visibility was so skewed that the bandits could only see them if they got close to fire or were in movement.

cue the dumbasses getting caught as soon as they set on their way because

percival: "i need to go pee"

now, it being weird-ass sci-fi, the bandits were mad scientists and, as pergwaine were lying there cuddling in the middle of the road trying to be as still as possible and BAREFOOT FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON, the bandits decided to find out if the two lumps in front of them were alive by tickling their toesies. with electricity. with gradually higher and higher voltage.

at one point the bandits were like million volts sound just about right for this VERY MUCH ALIVE AND WIGGLING HUNK, and wanted to shoot percial with it. to which gwaine, our lovely single braincell hero, volunteered himself if only the bandits were kind enough not to use million volts at once but divide it into 10 shots (cause 100k volts is perfectly okay apparently).

cue gwaine being moved somewhere to be annihilated with electricity and he panics cause. obviously he's gonna die.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE IDIOT DID?

decided to play it off as "i am a sorcerer", mumbled some bullshit AND PULLED FOUR HALF EATEN SLICES OF PIZZA OUT OF HIS POCKETS.

i woke up facepalming because one. he's dumb as shit. and two. it fucking worked to distract the bandit guy 😭😭😭😭

[clotpoleofcamelot]

leon: what the fuck is gwaine even doing?

arthur: his best

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Hi!!! I love love love your fics. They're so perfect!! And you have so many of them, too.

So, I came across this post and I thought "Hmm. This sounds like something that @bitsandbobsofwriting would like." So. Here I am. Lol <3

(This is #16 from This List)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FIX I LOVE YOU!!

Ok so I actually kinda love this idea??

~

So I’m thinking like... just about post-magic reveal, but pre-Arthur-no-longer-acting-like-an-entitled-jackass-about-it... so everyone knows about Merlin’s magic, but no one is particularly happy/comfortable with it. They get into some sort of situation (like always) and Merlin is all “I could do something about this ya know.” Arthur is all “😡No magic.” Merlin just... rolls his eyes and is all “jfc, of course not, I don’t fancy being executed for saving y’all dumbasses again.” and proceeds to.... kick absolute ass. Like beats the shit out of whoever is attacking them/holding them hostage/threatening them/whatever. All the knights are “😮 since fuckin when?” Merlin just shrugs and explains: He figured that whenever his magic was revealed, the BEST outcome he would get is his friends turning on him and people watching really closely to make sure he wasn’t *evil* or whatever, so he taught himself to fight so he would have some sort of way to defend himself without being executed and... accidently got quite good at it without really realising. Cue the others feeling guilty for a couple reasons. Not trusting him for starters, turning on him just like he thought they would. But also for never considering that he’s super vulnerable... he doesn’t wear armour, he doesn’t carry a sword, but they drag him everywhere; if it weren’t for Merlin’s magic—which he now feels unable to use—he’d be dead a hundred times over.

Happy, apologetic ending me thinks. Though of course Mordred, Lancelot, and probably Gwaine to a certain extent, would’ve been on Merlin’s side the whole time anyway.

Credit to the OP: @bananichu​ for This Post.

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[donttouchtheneednoggle]

Mightn't be very creative but BBC Merlin <3

u gotta do it :'))

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

ELYANNN what a guy started stanning him out of spite and rage and now i couldn't and wouldn't go back if i tried :') sarcastic compassionate salty cosy stylish dumbass smartass inattentive adhd younger sib gay trans part time ace ICON

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

GWEN esp s1 her along with s1 merlin they’re just tiny protect them 🥺🥺🥺

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

*glowers* Elyan again ;(

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

VIVIAN she’s a bitch and she is so valid 😌😌 also elena she’s such a weird girl™ and 10000% good for her <333

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

slightly left field choice but speicfifcally s1 arthur... i am weirdly protective over that dude there are far fewer instances of him being an irredeemable level of horrible and he’s way more nuanced and ya know basic morality and less hypocritical and i just want to beat some sense into him bc it feels like he’d actaully listen also he is just absolutely helpless godbless and not in the way he is later on where he only pretends to be absolute damsel in distress also colossal trophy husband material gwen and lance get on it <33

also gwaine that man is SO pathetic even tho he tries his best to hide it and it is deeply humiliating how much i relate to him every so often i will realise that i too have to try and make people laugh at every single available opportunity and its the only way i feel i contribute anything of worth nd i just have to thousand yard stare for a bit so yeah :’)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

LANCELOT i only seem to write him when i can crush him into a pulp godbless he is another level of poor little meow meow <33

also gwen but ONLY in the sense of putting her in awkward situations where she rambles a ton and ends up insulting at least three people by accident canon tormented her enough 😠😠😠 i feel like the dorky part of her is not written enough in fics she is way too composed and perfect and badass and responsible all the time whcih yeah she is that too but let her be a dumbass too <333

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

EWTHER

ty for the ask!! <33

[bisaster-energy]

merlin and/or mcu for the blorbification list <3

Hi nemy !!! I'm gonna do Merlin and then later I'll probably post a whole separate one for MCU (god that'll be a long post)

Blorbo: oh Merlin my Merlin :) from boy to man shouldering the responsibility of all of Albion without so much as a thank you I kiss him goodnight in my head. Everyone who's anyone loves at least a little bit (even if they hate him) it's just how it works!! A god amongst men living like a servant. Insane. Magical entities speak directly to his brain and he just has to pretend to be Some Guy visiting nobles feel like their world has turned upside down when they see him tell a joke that makes the king guffaw. The other servants swoon when they see him. He looks out of his window in the dark of night looking to the stars like they'll answer "why" or "how" or even "what for". I could talk about him until it kills me

Scrunkly: Gwen!! She's everything to me ooohh my god. She's so lovely and also will stab you. She's awkward as hell and is constantly putting her foot in her mouth but it's so endearing. She steals the hearts of so many! The king of Camelot could be out for blood she'd be like "Arthur" and he'd be like "yes darling :)" like she has him and everybody else absolutely whipped. Do not let her and Merlin gang up on you they'd be unstoppable 😩 she's the queen of Camelot and she's perfect in the sense that she's not

Scrimblo bimblo: elyan without a doubt. No one wears a hoodie like him 🥰 he's small he's ace and he's here to fuck shit up. his sister is the queen loser watch your kneecaps cos if he catches u talking shit it's over. Percival carries him around sometimes :) he verbally destroys the knights (specifically gwaine) at any point in time just for kicks! He's also very soft and kind (don't get me started on the ghost of the druid boy I'll cry) anyway wdym he's dead he's right here putting the racist who challenged him in a duel to shame

Glup shitto: GWAINE the absolute madlad!! He probably doesn't count as obscure but he should've been in the show more!! Every time he's on screen I'm like "THERE HE IS!! THE BOY! what atrocities will he commit :)" from the first time we met him we were as enamored with him as Merlin was. Mans was in the middle of a bar fight and stopped to flirt with the Twink with the cheekbones and honestly that's on code. He's noble and hates it but he'd go riding into hell for the prattiest one of all because Merlin is the love of his life and he'd want him to. Merlin his first friend who'd never tire of him never ask him to change loves him just the way he is. Merlin braids his hair Merlin berates him while tending to his wounds Merlin is everything to him. But he also found friends in circles he doubted he ever would before coming to Camelot. Him shooting the shit with knights who woulda thought. He calls the crown prince Princess and I love him I love him

Poor little meow meow: somehow Arthur goes right here. Idk why but he gets a lot of hate but I love him he doesn't deserve it 🥺 he treats Merlin like shit even after he's had character development that should've CHANGED THAT so I DO metaphorically pinch his arm on occasion. Maybe if we had a spritz bottle for when he's being nasty :) anyways he's pathetic he always listens to his father but it's never enough he fell in love with two servants who are too good for him and his self worth is based entirely on other people. He's a bisexual dumbass who's closest knights are all really hot guys. hm. He's done a lot of bad things but he's also so so good the future if his kingdom rests with him and in his eyes it's his burden alone to bear and I think a blanket and some hot chocolate would do him good!!

Horse plinko: Leon my beloved <3 aptly named the long suffering because the pain never stops!! From "poetry lessons" to straight up not being able to die this man has had it rough and I'm only gonna make it worse. I love him but I love him more while he's contemplating yeeting himself onto a sword. the knights (AND THE KING) fall asleep during his speeches. He's the actual mom of the group and don't let Lancelot fool you into thinking he's some how more nature than the rest of these assholes (to be fair Leon has his moments of mischief as well 😌)

Eeby deeby:

I hate him your honor.

Tysm for the ask nemy!!!!