#guys. i have two new characters i need to make edits of

[goldenwaves]

need to clean want to work on my dnd edits born to sit and look at phone

[thatneoncrisis]

the expendable child character is a narrative parallel to jinx reconciling her relationship with her sister and younger self. like i get not liking expendable child character but she does have an obvious narrative purpose outside of just being cutesy for sillies and then dying for sads. also she had like a cute hair dye montage and stuff man shit was tragic :( maybe im a braindead enjoyer of media trope slop but have you considered that shit was tragic

spoilersssss under da cut

hey have you considered that throwing a character in a show who barely has any personality or any inner world just for them to die because you KNOW theyre a cute kid that people will get attached to is uuuuuh cheap? like i fully understand why she exists, i get the parallels the show isnt subtle, they LITERALLY dye her hair blue and braid it, and she spends half her screen time being the symbol zaun wants jinx to be. how the fuck am i supposed to register her death as tragic when the writing was on the wall the moment she stepped on screen. how am i supposed to get attached to what is essentially a teddy bear filled with C4.

i dont like her bc the show knows how to write kids- violet, powder and mylo bounced off each other and the adults in their lives in such a natural way (excluding the other boy and ekko bc frankly they dont get enough screen time for me to judge them and the first guy was clearly doing double duty as comedic relief/oh wow another dead kid). i do not like child death as blatant manipulation, i do not like pretending that kid was a real and interesting character whos death i should be invested in, i do not like acting like recognizing what a show is doing is the same as them executing it well in any way. i understand CONCEPTUALLY why jinx likes her, omg the baby is just like me fr, they spell it out by having her look at the camera and go wow you remind me of powder who is who i used to be but then bad shit happened but youre cool, but thats not the same as like. building a bond with them, a rapport, shes just kind of this amusing Thing jinx has around and doesnt really care about outside of "kids dying is bad"

finally, do not do that fucking thing where youre like "oh well maybe i just like shitty poopoo tropes but i thought it was pretty good 🥺" how the fuck am i supposed to respond to that. im not like, upset at arcane for fun i like it when stories are told well and get frustrated when the pieces are there and just never connected. i feel like this show has reached a breaking point with how many people it can take from her without it meaning anything after a certain point. half the time its not even her fault it just kind of happens to her in some greek tragedy twist of fate, shes not allowed to have good things and instead of it being like, a conversation about children of war and how unfair shit is dropped on their heads constantly, jinxs motivations and energy is only tangentially related to zauns sovereignty movement.

theyre so like. fixated on her having this overly unserious attitude about everything around her, and i get its a coping thing to distance herself but it RARELY lets up during pivotal moments. its like a story is happening to her rather than her actively contributing- the people would have been taken to stillwater whether she was at the rally or not- sevika would have figured out a way inside that building with or without jinx, they did not escape stillwater thanks to her ingenuity, but because that guy summoned a big ass zombie werewolf who happened to also be her father. the ONLY reason she goes to that building is bc thats where the baby is, i dont think isha as a symbol of the inner child, was inspiring jinx to be a good person, shes just like, a creature of convenience. i guess while im here i can let you guys out or whatever. and what does it mean when that inner child, the living embodiment of whatever goodness and innocence may still exist in jinxs heart, is ripped away from her in a violent explosion exactly the same way as last time? she did the opposite of what vi did last time and the outcome was identical. is history repeating itself, will jinx change? is there any change that can happen that will negate the absolutely comical amount of bad shit that happens to her? this show does not in any way give me the confidence to believe that will happen

basically i think jinxs development thus far is repetitive and gives very little consideration to her as a character rather than an archetype, and isha suffers greatly for it. why show a relationship when you can simply imply it? why make the child any harder for jinx and the audience to project on? why does she need a history, or goals or any interests that arent a giant blue flag that shes powder 2

[transannabeth]

wanna make spider-jam an oc superhero because i've wanted to bring back my superhero ocs from like 8th grade especially since i've decided they're all weird and traumatized and insular and spider-jam is like fun and outgoing and cmyk colors

but like the whole thing is that she was bit by a radioactive spider. like that's the joke.

i need a new joke

[currently-becoming-potatoes]

List of words for the computer:

LONG POST- more under the cut

STANFORD- Pulls up a file on Stanford Pines, written by an unknown scientist. It discusses his extra finger and praises his intelligence, as well as calling him the “next evolution in the human species”.

BILL CIPHER- Takes you to the Wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence. Also took me to a Sesame Street video about a Jazzy Triangle and a Square. Not sure what prompted the change.

STANLEY PINES: Takes you to a list of EBay listings for brass knuckles.

FIDDLEFORD: Takes you to the music video for Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex.

SHERMIE: Nothing. I sure do wish we got some lore about Grandpa Pines.

GRAVITY FALLS: The text on the computer reads “never heard of it” and the red light on the bottom turns green.

ALEX HIRSCH: Leads to Google Images for “flannel”. Huh.

WEIRDMAGEDDON: Pulls up an article from the Gravity Falls Gossiper about how nothing happened at all and there was no apocalypse.

DISNEY: Screen reads “rat.gif censored for your protection”

SOOS: Leads to a page of writing from Soos himself, referencing many things (including Tad Strange being gay and madly in love with Woodpecker Guy. Love wins!!!)

DIPPER: Leads to a creepy yellow parchment with a message from Bill Cipher himself trying to trick Dipper into blinding himself by staring at the sun for 13 hours straight! Silly! (Also if you keep clicking on it, the page gets darker and blurrier until it implies we've gone blind)

MABEL: Causes stickers to appear on every available surface. Clicking it enough times leads to message “lab now fully Mabelized”.

WENDY: Leads to a note from Wendy that mentions a way to ward off evil triangles written in the bottom corner of the book.

GIDEON: Makes a web recording of Gideon scatting play. It ends with “I love you forever Mabel”. Please shut the fuck up you little creep.

TAD STRANGE: Plays a video of bread with smooth jazz in the background.

TOBY DETERMINED: Leads to a Google search for a restraining order. Holyyyyy shittttttt

WHO ARE YOU: “I could ask you the same question”

SEASON 3: “Season Two”. I guess that’s that lol

This was about all I could find. Please reblog with anything else you can discover! Thank you, fellow Gravity Falls enjoyers!

And make sure to give some love to all the wonderful folks down in the comments! Many of these answers and tips come from what they've found. I can't list everyone, unfortunately- I didn't expect this post to get popular- but, to everyone who's helped out, THANK YOU.

FURTHER EDITS:

BLIND EYE: Pulls up an optometrist’s eye exam. Each line reads “WKHBOOVHH”. Too lazy to translate atm.

PIÑATA: Bill Cipher getting beaten to death /hj

MASON: A note from Dipper listing several anagrams of Gravity Falls characters’ names. You can check in the comments for the answers.

AXOLOTL: “You ask alotl questions”. Thanks for the pun, Alex, but I’m kind of losing my mind rn

MYSTERY SHACK: Leads to a Google search for Confusion Hill, the real-life Mystery Shack!

MYSTERY: “?”

MONSTER: Leads to several YouTube videos for “There’s a Monster at the End of this Book.”

VALLIS CINERIS: Leads to an analog-horror-esque video of Baby Bill and his parents, who have been blotted out by static, and a voice repeating “WHY DID YOU DO IT” over and over again until you stop the video.

PORTAL: “Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build a new one.”

GIFFANY: You need to put it in multiple times. Several warnings about breaching firewall, followed by a message from GIFFANY saying “SOOS! I still love you!” or smth like that, and then GIFFANY herself briefly appearing onscreen. Trying again after that summons her more. Also lets you download some ZIP files.

DORITO: Summons an image of a spinning Dorito, followed by the most cursed image of Bill Cipher I have ever seen.

GOD: A short video of an axolotl in a tank with a Bill Cipher statue plays. This is Alex’s axolotl, shown in the Book of Bill countdown.

REALITY: “Is an illusion”

FILBRICK: “I’m not impressed”

CARYN: “I knew you were gonna write that”

GLASS SHARD BEACH: Leads to an image of the New Jersey Hell Hole.

ANY CUSS WORD: Pulls up a paper reading “NOT S&P APPROVED. WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP” with an image of soap below.

MATPAT: Leads to a video of MatPat next to a conspiracy board, holding the Book of Bill. He tells us we’re on our own.

BABBA: Plays an audio recording of Dipper singing BABBA. Not Disco Girl, a different song.

CRAZ: Leads to the Jem and the Holograms theme.

XYLER: See above.

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA: Shows us two new journal pages from Ford and Mabel, studying the Cipher statue. They’re definitely worth the read, I teared up looking at them.

ANSWER: “Question”

QUESTION: “Answer”

SEASON ONE: “Season -1: Antigravity Falls”

SEASON TWO: “Season 1” …maybe scratch what I said about Season 3. Or don’t. Things are starting to damage my brain.

CURSED (got from @slimslamflimflam decoding the candle! Thanks!): Shows two pages talking about the dangers of drawing triangles, with the bottom of the second page showing several drawings of Bill and the words “HE IS COMING, RUN”

THE UNIVERSE: “Hologram”

RIZZ: “Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas.” This response is repeated if you type in SKIBIDI or FORTNITE.

BABY: Shows an ultrasound of a fetus Bill Cipher, captioned “Look at what’s growing inside you! See you in nine months, papa!”

JOURNAL 3: “The Journal for Me”

PACIFICA: Leads to a note from Pacifica calling Bill Cipher “ick” and telling us to follow her on social media under “Platinum Paz”

PLATINUM PAZ: Pulls up an image of Northwest Manor with the llama symbol overlaid and a “NW” logo beneath. There's also a short story beneath!

LOVE: Leads to an audiobook of “The Love Triangle”. Need to read later.

BLENDIN: “The time agent lost and presumed incompetent”. Uh…?

SCARY: Leads to another audiobook of a cheesy Goosebumps-esque horror novel written by Bill himself, apparently.

DIVORCE: Shows you the logo of the bar Bill went to after his fight with Ford… Billford bitter exes confirmed

ROBBIE: Leads to the cringiest messages ever. He’s such a failure I love him

CONSPIRACY: Leads to a video of a man losing his mind over the countdown counting up. I feel so seen. (I have been informed that his name is Charlie Day, he's an actor from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that one meme, he had a quote on the back of the Book of Bill, thanks to everyone who explained that to me, I'm sorry, I'm uncultured)

RAT: “Thurburt’s number?”

BLANCHIN: Leads to a YouTube video on how to blanch vegetables.

TJ ECKLEBURG: “Never mention that name again.”

NOTHING: “Something”

SOMETHING: “Nothing”

BURNSIDE: “Burned inside.” Well… at least we know what happened…

WADDLES: Leads to the pig placement network!

THERAPRISM: Pulls up a sign from the theraprism regarding an emergency situation. The code reads "THE OLD ONE".

SHAPE: Pulls up an article on Plato, triangles, and Ancient Greece. This article is presumably written by Bill.

LLIB and BILL: THIS leads to the Sesame Street video every time.

WEIRD: Shows a video of a frightened Weird Al panicking about being trapped in a computer. Sorry, man...

CLONE: Pulls up an image of Paper Jam Dipper, a warning about not getting him too close to liquids, and an option to print.

TRIANGLE: ")" or "Tri harder."

THEYLLSEE: "Is seeing believing?"

DEER TEETH: "For you, kid!"

LIFE: "Life: 72% complete. Now loading: death."

DEATH: "Life's goth cousin."

PINES: "A good family tree."

OWL TROWEL: A slab of hieroglyphs, translating to an ancient ad for an owl trowel.

SCALENE: "Life form not found." EUCLID has the same outcome.

WELL WELL WELL BEING: Some assorted notes from Bill's Theraprism file. These include his greatest love and fear, his art therapy notes, and notes on his phobias. Three clicks is required to read them all.

BOO BERRY: Offers a poem on the meaning of life! Wow! I feel so enlightened!

LOVE YA BRO: Shows us a doodle from Stan of one of his and Ford's Sea Grunks adventures, and another code on the back. It translates to "Kings of New Jersey." I've been told it lets you download the code as a font.

SORRY: Reveals the repaired Backupsmore photo, with a note from Fiddleford about his and Ford's growing friendship. Fiddauthor fans, we are eating well tonight!

HORROR: Pulls up an image and report on The Always Garden, which is essentially a cheap Italian restaurant hidden in the backrooms.

HOLOGRAM: "Universe."

NAITSUAF: Pulls up a page that looks like it would be from the Book of Bill, in which Bill tries to convince us to sell us his soul. Clicking "ARE YOU READY?" pulls up a contract where we can sell our soul to Bill (with an alarming amount of coded fine print. Will need to translate later). You can print this document out, back out, or sign it right there on the web. Hitting "SIGN" causes the words "PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU!" to appear, and the document to close. In other words, I no longer have a soul.

IMSTILLONYOURMIND: Plays a recording of the ocean, with Stan faintly talking in the background. Poor Ford ain't quite over the divorce yet...

HOTXOLOTL: Pulls up a "MOST WANTED" doc on the henchmaniacs.

SEVENEYES: Pulls up a faded polaroid of The Oracle with text on the back that reads "LEAVE HIM. Escape to dimension *blurred out*. It's against the rules but it's the only reality where you'll be safe from him." The code at the bottom (once again decoded by the powerhouse that is @slimslamflimflam) reads "Set a course for Dimension: R34LITY." Is another Cipher Hunt in the makes? Only time will tell, hehehe.

JUST FIT IN: Plays an old commercial with a few moments of speech in the glitches at the end.

EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES: Shows a transcript from a therapy session at the Theraprism. Bill discusses his relationship with Ford and cuts off the session when someone brings up his parents.

NOT A PHASE: Shows a Google search for "black hair dye stained an entire bathroom."

PAPER IS BOOK SKIN: Instantly downloads a page of fleshy pink paper with the word "ENJOY" written on it!

SHAVE YOUR GRANDMA: Pulls up a few more pages about the human life cycle.

LIES: Pulls up an image of "The Game of Lies" board game, with a long stretch of text from (I assume) Bill, ending with "LIE UNTIL YOU ARE NOT LYING ANYMORE." Someone has some issues...

SAY BAAAA: Pulls up a neat little rhyme about being Bill Cipher's obedient flock of sheep. The code at the end translates to "Black Sheep."

ONE EYED KING: Plays a video of a hypnotist's spiral, with Bill proclaiming "YOU WANT TO PLEDGE YOUR SOUL TO BILL CIPHER" in the background. There is also morse code that translates to "NAITSUAF", leading to a previous discovery- the soul contract.

TANTRUM: Pulls up a transcript of a spat between Bill and Time Baby.

TITANS BLOOD: "HOOT HOOT! Password please!"

CURSE WITTEBANE: Pulls up an image of a Bill Cipher ouija board.

FORDTRAMARINE: Pulls up several rejected files from Ford trying to convince us Fordtramarine exists.

SUCK IT MERLIN: Pulls up a tapestry of Bill riding a unicorn. The code at the top reads "DAY MARE VS NIGHTMARE."

HEY NERD: Plays a commercial advertising things such as a Bill Cipher calendar, the Scrubba-Bill, a severed hand, and the entire Cygnus-XIII galaxy. Half of the image can be found in the Book of Bill.

DESTRUCTION IS THE FORM OF CREATION: Pulls up a frantic page of notes from post-portal-shit Fiddleford. A sticky note at the bottom has a code that reads "Unreality."

RUBBERHOSE: Plays "The World is Small Ever After for All."

IRREGULAR: Shows us Bill's mugshot in color. The code below reads "No prison or attention span can hold him."

UNREALITY: Offers a guide by Bill on how to become immortal.

GUN: "Oh yes oh yes oh yes they both."

ABUELITA: Leads to a video on vacuuming the walls.

YES: "What's McGucket's favorite soda?"

NO: "Your loss..."

REPEATEDLY CLICKING STAN: This stuff deserves a section of its own, away from the OG Stan stuff. It takes you through several Ebay listings on various Stan-ish items until you get to a page written by Bill about Stan's secret shames. "Ex-wives" further confirms our theory on Stan and Eda's relationship, as well as revealing many other bits of lore. "Fears" is somewhat goofy to be honest. "Secret Shames" reveals that Stan is a fanfiction writer and that his mother is the only member of his family who truly loves him outside of Ford and the kids. "Unreported Crimes" is somewhat goofy as well. "Failed Products" basically confirms that Stan is that world's Alex. "Lowest Moments" is genuinely depressing, and "Darkest Thought". Well. I'm not spoiling it lol. And the bit on "How He Beat Me" causes Bill to get more and more frantic/angry the more you click it! Comedy GOLD!

DIPPY FRESH: Leads to a Reddit post of the Burger King Kids Club.

MEOW: Leads to a TikTok of a man playing the Gravity Falls theme on that cap keyboard.

HELP ME: Pulls up another video of Alex's axolotl and the tiny statue. Rip Bill ig :/

R34LITY: Pulls up several photos of the henchmaniacs in live-action, captioned "They found a new home."

JOURNAL 1: "The journal of fun."

JOURNAL 2: "The journal for you."

FBI: "Your webcam is on. We are watching."

BURNED INSIDE: Shows an image of a charred Oregon Parks badge and nametag on the ground.

HECTORING: Plays a silly little country song!

OROBOROUS: Pulls up two journal pages about Fiddleford buying Ford an axolotl to keep him company, and Bill subsequently telling Ford to get rid of him. There's also some code on the first page that reads "CHONKY BOY." Ford, you wonderful dork.

[feeder86]

Feeder 86: The Top Ten

Can you believe that the Feeder86 ‘Orginal Gainer Stories’ blog will soon be posting the two hundredth story? I thought of many ways to celebrate. But then I stopped and realised that I would probably be best using the time to address one of the questions I get asked about most frequently. Which of the stories do I personally like the most?

This was not an easy list to make as I very rarely go back to re-read my own work after I have finished editing and posting them. This is not because I do not like them, but because I always see bits that I want to change. Nevertheless, this project was the perfect opportunity to revisit a few oldies that I remember being very proud of at the time. 

Hopefully you will see this list for what it is: a glimpse into how I write, my motivations and drive; rather than just a self indulgent pat on the back for myself. Yuck!

So, with that being said, let us begin...

#10 The Feeders’ Formula: This tale certainly had to be placed into the list. After all, it is the one that kicked off ‘Original Gainer Stories’ all those years ago. There are many amazing examples of instant body weight transformation stories out there. I felt that I needed to write this one as my contribution to the genre. It went down well at the time. I swiftly wrote a Part Two, then followed it up with others (The Feeders’ Formation, The Feeders’ Formalities, The Feeders’ Foreclosure, The Feeders’ Forecast, The Feeders’ Former Years), becoming something of an ongoing saga in recent years; focusing on the different Feeders from that very first meeting. As a writer who sometimes struggles to find the ending, these are wonderful to write as they all have the same inevitable conclusion. There is also so much freedom to be had when you’re working with characters who are pretty much pure evil. I know so much more about the Feeders than I’ve ever written down, so it is great to tease out those little details with each new installment. The newest of these tales (The Feeders’ Foreplay) was the darkest yet, but seems to have provoked a very favourable reaction from many. Who knows what the Feeders may get up to next? I do! And you can find out too, once we start a whole new sweeps season of stories this April! Come with me into The Feeders' Fortress!

#9 Only One: Where do I start? Only One has my absolute favourite type of feeder. Ben is big, sexy and very in control. He’s one of those rare types of guys who always stays on top and is a step ahead of absoultely everyone he meets. Who wouldn’t fall for him? I certainly did! In fact, I loved him so much that I wrote an entire prequel for him (and none of you even noticed!) Check out Rewire if you want to see how Ben became the man we know and love.

#8 The Wright Boys: The idea of a weight gain that cannot be stopped or controlled is a tempting one for many. How much easier would it be if you didn’t have to second guess your choices or face the pressure to lose weight? This was the first tale of what I see as ‘The Curses’ saga that eventually bled into many other stories (including another one on this list!) and culminated in Wright vs Beckett. However, this story remains my personal favourite of these. If you’re a fan of looking for crossovers between my stories, these are some of the most explicitly linked. I followed it up with a spin-off tale (The Wright Boys: DNA), but continue to have ideas about how I could go back to these boys in the future. Watch this space.

#7 Making Monsters: The title of this story really does give away how I felt about it at the time. This is quite the saga, spread over into not just two, but three parts! It began as a story that was very similar to Blackmailed; a tale that I had written previously about a guy voyeristically enjoying seeing his friend fatten up her boyfriend. However, this story evolved even further for me, with Tommy’s love of eating and gaining weight being both his greatest love, and his biggest shame. His denial only heightened the tension for me, and, when he does eventually give in, the gains feel all the more satisfying as a result.

#6 The Pig Feed: It’s not easy to write a gainer story where there isn’t another character spurring the events along and encouraging things. In this tale however, that role is given to a very tasty and surprisingly addictive pig feed mixture that Steve gets himself hooked on. It’s a story that I really enjoyed writing and still feel very happy with. I have considered writing more stories around this interesting feed. However, I am yet to do so; deciding (for now at least) that things are perhaps best left as they are. But, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this.

#5 Farm Boy: Whether you grew up in a big city, or a small rural community, like Hayden in this story, we can all relate to having desires and attractions that those around us don’t understand. And, thanks to how well connected we are these days, we now know what it’s like to realise that you’re not actually alone, and the whirlwind of excited emotions that follow. I enjoyed writing this story because I, quite simply, fell completely in love with Hayden. As kinky as he was, he still retained that fresh faced innocence throughout. If any of my characters were destined to be together forever, I imagine that these two would be my top choice.

#4 Keeping a Crush: This is one of those stories that I wrote in a matter of hours, and I was so pleased with it when I was done. Getting the train to go to work is not necessarily something that many Americans have to do, and so the location had to be switched to the UK (quite refreshing, I thought!). For me, it’s one of those really rare instances where placing very solid restrictions on the structure of a story (In this case, having it all take place during the commute to and from work) and finding that it actually elevates the sexual tension and mood. All scenes take place in public settings. All conversations could, in theory, be overheard. These days, so many people meet online and flirt for weeks by messaging back and forth, before they even see each other for the first time. Nowadays, for better or for worse, the actual, real fantasy is finding a connection with someone you just see in the real world; perhaps with a person you literally just met on the way to work...

If you’ve not read this one, I really would highly recommend it.

#3 To the Max: Stories with a magical element to them are either loved or hated. However, I find that this tale walks that line very successfully. Ned gets his hands on a love potion and makes straight guy, Max, fall for him. I’m sure we’ve all been there with that fantasy! However, it is in the consequences of inviting someone into your life, someone that you actually know very little about, that the entire eroticism of this story is based. I won’t spoil it for those who have not read it, but believe me when I say that things soon start getting very interesting indeed…

#2 Tommy’s Two Hundred. Don’t recognise this one? Well, that's because none of you have read it yet. 

Now, I’m not just saying this because I want you all to come back for the two hundreth story, but this is genuinely one of my absolute favourites. For my big milestone stories in the past, I have written something specifically for that event (Wright vs Beckett, The Seven Feeders of Finn). However, this is just a tale that I adored writing and decided to hold back for you all, especially for this occasion. It’s a story of domination and submission within a fairly open, but very kinky, relationship. Strapping Hunter plays the part of a very controlling feeder, making me break many of my own rules and stretching my boundaries to the absolute limits. You’ll either love him, or you’ll hate him. That’s all I’m going to say…

Also, this story is going to be the first Feeder86 story that will be fully illustrated. It’s all thanks to the amazing talents of Spellwell9 who was given an advanced copy and asked to imagine the characters in four different scenes. I cannot wait for you to see this!

Put it in your diary. All will be revealed from Friday 5th April…

#1 F80 Control: This is perhaps a controvercial choice (especially as my #1). I have previously admitted that this story strays a little from its purpose of being a gainer story. In other words, I get very caught up in the background story that is being told. However, I feel that the science fiction genre is surprisingly underused in tales of weight gain. Yet, the combination of Aritificial Intelligence and submission seemed, to me, to be the perfect blend. It really is a beast of a story if you can follow it all the way through to its conclusion. 

With the advent of improved artificial intelligence software in recent years, I felt the time was right to develop the world further, with the addition of F80 Ctrl Alt Del; a spin-off tale set slightly before the main story. Then, unable to help myself, I followed this up again with another companion story, F80: Kidnap and Control. 

The reason I chose this universe as my favourite is because this is where I am happiest writing. With AI, I don’t need to consider the morality or motivations - I know exactly what their aims are and I can see multiple ways in which it will cause conflict with humanity (and their waistlines!) I would also love to write more for this world one day, and I even left a little unused subplot in the last story that I think would provide the perfect starting-off point for another chapter. Will I ever write it? Well, we’ll have to wait and see…

So, there you have it! The the complete list!

This was a much harder exercise than I expected when I first embarked upon it. Stories like: Jiggle the Jock, Meticulous, Rule Number One, Freaks, Leftovers I and II, Ethan: The Secret Feeder and, not fogetting The Consequences I, II and III all crept in and out of the list, unfortunatley missing out on the final cut. There are many, many others, of course. But this list cannot go on forever...

So, why not tell me which ones were your favourites? Feel free to write in the comments and post a link to any other stories that you have enjoyed from myself, or from other authors. Hopefully, if we all work together, this could become a great resource for people in the future, filled with signposts and reccommendations.  

Also, don’t forget the Feeder86 Contents page where you can find links and descriptions of all the 200 stories posted so far (as well as plot outlines for upcoming tales as well). Please continue to enjoy the vast catalogue of stories, and even have a go yourself! I love supporting the many new gainer fiction writers who contact me. So please do get in touch if you need advice, or to talk through your ideas. Let’s all encourage a whole new generation of people to get typing away! I’m sure you will cheer them on just as much as I will.

Thank you to everyone who supports the stories blog here on Tumblr. Keep checking in every Friday througout April for a whole new sweeps season to celebrate this milestone. Stories will include: Tommy's Two Hundred, Train for a Gain, The Feeders' Fortress and The 1% (a companion story to The 5%). For now, I thank you all for taking time out to sit and read the very bizarre tales that sprout from my mind. You are all wonderful.

Happy 200 stories!

Feeder86

[callooopie]

Modern!Davos Blackwood headcannons (pt. Smut)

— NSFW edition—

It can’t be unlearned. I’ve known the warmth of your doorways — It Will Come Back // Hozier

I haven’t written NSFW in a bit ~3~. Bear with me while I try not to blush and cringe at my own writing T~T (also that new episode.. rip MY queen Rhaenys dude. It actually made me so bummed it ruined my night.) Also do I still use the Benjicot tags or is he now his own character now that he’s been mentioned finally ~3~ ?!

cw— NSFW, smut detailed to the best of my abilities. Minors do not interact. Interact with this and I’ll punch you so hard your ancestors will feel it I’ll-

< added one (1) new headcannon since posting >

Cool, calm, confident. That’s what Davos was. Surely it would translate to the bedroom too—it does not. He’s shy the first time around. Very much. Silent, rigid; his eyes simply darting up and down your body as you undress in front of him. The only sign that he’s there in the head is his hands gripping the comforter in his fists tightly. Before you begin, please give him a few kisses and reassuring smiles. Sitting in his lap and doing so does wonders. Run your fingers through his hair in a calming manner too.

You might have to pause, because he’s genuinely trembling out of excitement and anticipation that he cannot concentrate or continue without calming down. He just loves your touch! Any touch, all touch. Your fingers grazing against his skin, it’s like nicotine. Press your nose against his, laugh softly and kindly against his lips, and tell him it’s alright—you can wait a minute. His hands (shaking slightly still) will find their way to your hips soon enough.

Before you two experience each other more often. Before ANY sexual encounters, with you or not with you. He is the type of guy… to not know where the clit is. It’s a sad truth. You have to sit him down and literally point to where it is. No pants, sitting on the bed with your legs spread. It’s not even sexual at this point, you’re just letting him ooo and ahh at your pussy as you tell him what feels good and how to make it feel good. A lesson in anatomy that has him going (“…really?!”). Don’t worry. He gets with the program right away. When he figures shit out you won’t ever let him leave the house ever again.

If he’s already on the more experienced side and/or after you’ve both gotten comfortable with one another after months or a couple years; he is a fiend, a menace. He wants his sheets drenched by the time you’re both done. He wants you passed out, unconscious. If you aren’t being carted off to the emergency room after sex he feels he isn’t doing it right.

Speaking of.. He has sent you to the ER before. A bruised cervix that sent searing pain whenever you walked, burning aches in your muscles and bones from being bent or pulled around that. It’s something that’s never happened before and worried you enough to make Davos drive you to the urgent care. Embarrassment and a hint of disbelief burned on your face as the doctor awkwardly told you your diagnoses, splitting their gaze between you and Davos. The latter had the biggest grin on his face as he sat there like an innocent man. His apologies are a farce don’t believe it.

Needs you to sit on his face. Dude gets off on eating you like you’re his last meal, and makes it messy too.. Doesn’t matter when (or where..) but if you are not straddling his head, laying her full weight onto him—that’s basically like breaking his heart. He wants to die by your thighs that’s his goal. He is the type to grab and scratch at your thighs, squeezing flesh as he tries to pull you closer to his lips and tongue. Sometimes his hand leaves your thigh to deal with his own hardened cock—muffled and incoherent whines leaving him as he devours you sloppily and breathlessly. If he’s eating you out while you’re laying on your back; he will be pathetically grinding against the mattress.

Suck him off under his desk. Quietly slip underneath the wooden desk, he’s too focused on whatever he’s doing to even notice you undoing the string of his sweats anyways. Once he dies in-game and looks down he gets the memo, silently helping you slide them off of him as he talks to his team. Whatever you do, do not drag your tongue up from his base to his tip—especially when he’s comming to his teammates. He’ll be talking normally and then let out a nearly pornographic whine. If you choose to not be a menace off the bat and simply slide his cock in and out of your mouth; he’ll go blank in the head. He starts to mess up, mouth going slack as he splits his attention between the game and you on your knees between his legs with your tongue wrapping around his tip and licking off whatever leaking pre-cum you find. It’s the fastest he’s ever won (or lost) a game.

It’s edge or be edged in his world. Loves it when you tell him he can’t cum. A sloppy half-grin plastered on his face as you ride him. His hands holding your hips as he sits up, looking up at you from where he places his head by your chin. He’s gonna bitch and moan about it as usual, but slowly devolves into loud begging. His speech is slurred as his eyes stare up at you like your god who has the power to grant him that divine release he’s been denied for an hour.

He loves fucking you against the wall. It gives him a reason to show off his arms and muscles—and it feels good. If you have comments about your weight, your body, how will he hold you up, etc. Leave ‘em at the door, Davos does not care. He goes to the gym for this reason baby! To be able to lift you easily and hold you against the apartment wall as he pounds into you. His hands digging into the skin of where your thighs and ass meet. Wrap your legs around his waist, tangle your fingers into his hair. You’re not leaving until there’s a puddle of your arousal and cum underneath you.

Switch. He’s a switch. Let the world (and himself) believes he’s a top, only you will know the truth. And the truth is that he loves when you take control. Tie him up, slap him around, ride him till he’s crying and drooling from either edging or overstimulation—and then keep going some more. But also remember that he can easily overpower you, pinning you down to the bed or against a wall as he thrusts in and out of you with loud groans and words of praise. His hand holds your head down as he fucks you from behind, fingers grasping onto your hair as he rambles in a pleasured high. Davos is the type to tear underwear too, so be careful about that as well..

Davos is gentle, Davos is rough. No matter what, he’s mean about it. And he’s very vocal about it too. He’ll ask if you’re enjoying yourself, if you’re liking how rough he’s fucking your cunt right now—speaking of.. can you hear how wet you are right now, it’s almost embarrassing no? Ohhh, you like being used by him? Well.. he likes your sloppy pussy too—don’t worry. Made just for him, all for him. If he’s gentle he asks if you’re doing okay between the soft kisses he places on your neck and face. His face will nuzzle against your neck, soft whispers of how you feel entering your ear between groans. You’re just a sweetheart after all, aren’t you? So soft, so good, just for him. He likes how you feel around him, how soft your skin feels under his hands. So beautiful, so cute. Don’t you like how you can feel all of him as he thrusts into you slowly? Can you feel every vein and ridge? ‘Cause he can feel every squeeze and shudder from your walls darling.

Biter. I’ve got him pinned—Davos is a biter. Bites at your nipples before swirling a tongue around them and sucking harshly. Licks your ear before biting and tugging on it. He’s a bastard and bites your clit, a low chuckle coming from him as you yelp (he kisses it after, of course). Hickeys line your skin from your neck to your lower abdomen. Bite marks, prominent bite marks, are scattered across your body. No matter what, it’ll be on your neck mostly as well. From the front or the back, a bite mark will find its way to your neck. He just gets so into it! Dicking you down so roughly he just needs to latch his teeth onto your skin hard enough to draw blood. What? No he did not lick the droplet of blood up you must be imagining—

…car sex—I’m sorry I said it. At night when you both are skating or if he’s driving around with you. Sometimes you just end up in an empty parking lot.. the windows are fogged up and there’s music playing faintly, not that you care or really hear it as you listen to his moans. His hands holding your hips or waist as you slowly bounce on his cock while he sits in the driver seat. Bonus if you hold the thin necklace he wears between your teeth as you grind yourself down onto him.

Added! HE’S INTO SHOTGUNNING. Absolutely, how did I forget such a thing. Happens when you’re riding him. It’s a lazy night; him sitting in a chair, a cigarette between his fingers as you moan and whimper loudly. His other hand remains on your ass, guiding you up and down as he lets his head fall back briefly with a low grunt from his throat. He sits back up to take a drag from the cigarette, his other hand moving up from your ass to the back of your head (he gives you a parting slap to your butt). He presses your face closer to his and you instinctively part your lips, letting him blow smoke into it. He does talk you through that like he’s talking you through your orgasm, soft words of encouragement and guidance as he watches you blow it back out. It ends in him kissing you and wrapping one arm tightly around your waist as he starts to thrust up into you roughly. “In.. and out.. atta girl. There we are. Aren’t you just a good listener, my lovely lady?”

[vaadazen-codes]

How To Get Started Making Visual Novels

Wanna make a visual novel? Or maybe you've seen games like Our Life, Blooming Panic, Doki Doki Literature Club, etc. and wanna make something like that? Good news, here's a very basic beginners guide on how to get started in renpy and what you need to know going in! Before you start, I highly recommend looking at my last post about writing a script for renpy just to make it easier on you!

LONG POST AHEAD

Obviously, our first step is downloading it from their website

thankfully, its right on the home page of their site. Follow basica program installation steps and run the program. I highly recommend pinning it to your task bar to make it easier to access.

From there, you're met with the renpy app, it's a little daunting at first but let's talk about what all these buttons are for.

Projects

This part is simple, it just lists the current projects in the chosen directory. You probably won't have any in there of your own. You should still see Tutorial and The Question!

Both of those default projects are super helpful in their own ways, i highly recommend testing out the tutorial and playing around with it just to get comfortable with some of the basics.

Create New Project

The first step to actually making your game into a game!

You'll be met with a prompt letting you know that the project is being made in English and that you can change it. You can click Continue.

From here, you'll be asked to input a project name! Put in your games title, or even a placeholder title since this Information can be changed later! (this is also the title the folder will be in your file browser, be sure to name it something you won't overlook)

Now we get to choose our resolution!

If you have no idea what to choose, go for 1920x1080! This is the standard size for most computer monitors and laptops, but it will still display with moderately decent quality on 4k monitors too!

You can choose 3840x2160 as well. This is 2x the measurements of the default, with the same ration. These dimensions are considered 4k. Keep in mind, your image files will be bigger and can cause the game to have a larger size to download.

Now we get to choose our color scheme!

Renpy has some simple default options with the 'light mode' colors being the bottom two rows, and the 'dark mode' colors being the toop two rows.

You can pick anything here, but I like to choose something that matches my projects vibes/colors better. Mostly because depending on how in depth you go with the ui, it minimizes the amount of changes I need to make later.

Click continue and give it a minute. Note: If it says "not responding" wait a moment without clicking anything. It can sometimes freeze briefly during the process.

Now we should be back at our home screen, with our new project showing. Let's talk about allll that stuff on the right now.

Open Directory

This just opens that particular folder in your local file explorer!

game - is all the game files, so your folders for images, audio, saves, and your game files like your script, screens, and more.

base - this is the folder that the game folder is inside of. You can also find the errors and log txt files in here.

images - takes you to your main images folder. This is where you wanna put all of your NON gui images, like your sprites, backgrounds, and CGs. You can create folders inside of this and still call them in the script later. EX: a folder for backgrounds , a folder for sprites for character a, a seperate folder for spirtes for character b, etc.

audio - Takes you to the default audio folder. This is empty, but you can put all your music and sound effects here!

gui - brings up the folder containing all of the default renpy gui. It's a good place to start/ reference for sizes if you want to hand draw your UI pieces like your text box!

Edit File

Simple enough, this is just where you can open your code files in whatever text/code editor you have installed.

Script.rpy - where all of your story and characters live. This is the file you'll spend most of your time in at first

Options.rpy - Contains mostly simple information, like project name and version. There aren't a ton of things in here you need to look at. There is also some lines of code that help 'archive' certain files by file type so that they can't be seen by players digging in code however. Fun if you want to hide some images in there for later or if you just dont want someone seeing how messy your files are. We've all been there

Gui.rpy - where all of the easy customization happens. Here you can change font colors, hover colors, fonts, font sizes, and then the alignment and placement of all of your text! Like your dialogue and names, the height of text buttons, etc. It more or less sets the defaults for a lot of these unless you choose to change them later.

Screens.rpy - undeniably my favorite, this is where all of the UI is laid out for the different screens in your game, like the main menu, game menu, quick menu, choice menu, etc. You can add custom screens too if you want, but I always make my own seperate file for these.

Open Project - this just opens all of those files at once in the code editor. Super handy if you make extra files like I do for certain things.

Actions

last but not least, our actions.

Navigate Script - This feature is underrated in my honest opinion, it's super handy for help debugging! In renpy you can comment with # before a line. However, if you do #TODO and type something after it, it saves it as a note! You can view these TODO's here as well as easily navigate to when certain screens are called, where different labels are (super great if your game is long, and more. It saves some scrolling.

Check Script (Lint) - also super duper handy for debugging some basic things. It also tells you your word count! But its handy for letting you know about some errors that might throw up. I like using it to look for sprites I may or may not have mispelled, because they show up in there too.

Change/Update GUI - Nifty, though once you start customizing GUI on your own, it isn't as useful. You can reset the project at any point and regenerate the image files here. This updates all those defaults we talked about earlier.

Delete Persistent - this just helps you delete any persistent data between play throughs on your end. I like to use it when making a lot of changes while testing the game, so that I can reboot the game fresh.

Force Recompile - Full disclosure, as many games as I've made and as long as I've been using Renpy, i have never used this feature. I searched to see what it does and this is the general consesus: Normally renpy tries to be smart about compiling code (creating .rpyc files) and only compiles .rpy files with changes. This is to speed up the process since compiling takes time. Sometimes you can make changes that renpy don't pick up on and therefore won't recompile. In these cases you can run force recompile to force it. Another solution (if you know what file is affected) is to delete that specific. rpyc file.

The rest of your options on this right hand side are how you make executable builds for your game that people can download to extract and play later!

Sorry gang! that was a whole lot of text obviously the last button "Launch Project" launches an uncompiled version of the project for you to play and test as you go! Hang in tight because my next post is about how to utilize github for renpy, so you can collaborate easier!

[ariseur]

✧˖° - DESIDERIUM.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - featuring ; satoru gojo x fem!reader, slight hints of suguru geto x fem!reader

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - synopsis ; “ for what is love if not brought back grief but just a little bit smaller? ” satoru wonders as he thinks about the time you got away from him, little does he know it’s eating you up inside everyday.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ word count ; 13.7k words, 74.2k characters

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ cw ; sfw, fem!reader, fluff to angst with little comfort, canon au, not proofread, interchanging povs but for reader it’s always second person, technically need a pt2 but lmk if u guys want it, not proofread, mainly satoru x reader but hints of sashisu x reader for a while, spoilers / allusions / mentions of jjk 0 and later manga chapters ( after suguru’s left obv ), mentions and cameo from kenny later, canon character death, mentions of smoking, mentions of blood and typical canon violence, mature language, intended lowercase

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ notes ; ( request linked here !!) wow so this has been sitting in my inbox for a few months now, this was actually requested but i forgot to link it to the post so this idea was brought to us by the wonderful @skypperlegacy — sobbing in my bed writing this i hope you all enjoy. ( edit: i wrote this note on 8/24 and i’m assuming i’m posting this AFTER my birthday, so take this as a little treat for not posting for my birthday ^.^ )

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ notes (2) ; it is currently 10/26. i have not finished this yet either. what the hell is wrong with me

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ notes (final) ; i did it. i finished it. 11/13 oh my days i finally completed this thing. i didn’t even flesh out the full idea so lmk if you guys want more of sad pathetic gojo and reader

i. sunlit hallways in 2005

your footsteps bounce off of the walls of the hallway, sun rays ricocheting off the floor and projecting onto your body as you make your way to your classroom. your eyes zip around in every direction as you tried to scan the room numbers to try and find the one yaga had referred you to. you grimace at his booming voice replaying in your memory talking about these two boys who were supposed to help you — idiots he referred to them as. ‘strong idiots’.

you assume you’d be heading into the classroom with the most noise in it, as the sound of muffled chattering pricks your ears from beyond the sliding door of the homeroom to your left. a long exhale leaves your lips, your shoulders rolling backwards in an attempt to try and alleviate the weird pressure that settled upon them before your fingers find the little slot that allowed it to open the door, cursing yourself as a loud squeak emits from your action.

you scrunch your eyes shut in a wincing manner, taking in the silence before peeking an eye open to see two boys — which you presume were the ones that yaga had mentioned to you. both of your eyes shoot open at the sound of a small laugh, seeing a boy with spectacles and snow white hair snickering to himself while his friend shook his head at him and instead greets you with a small smile.

you clear your throat. “are you suguru geto and satoru gojo?”

they nod, the dark-haired boy scooting out of his seat to get up and properly greet you while the other lazily grins at you, the cerulean lenses of his gracing his face and framing his teasing gaze behind a deep blue. “geto,” the former gestures to himself, “and this is gojo,” his hand waves over to the seemingly brash boy who stands beside him, giving a small wave as his hands come to intertwine behind his back.

you lean forward, ducking your head as you bow out of respect for your new classmates. hair falling in front of your face, you introduce yourself quietly as you hear small shuffles emerging towards you until sheen black shoes come into your peripheral.

lifting your head up a little further, you’re met with the bright face of ‘satoru gojo’, the name striking a familiar cord within your brain. gojo, you think, as in the gojo clan? however, you don’t get to ponder on that for too long before he chuckles at your expression — clearly somewhat impressed with his appearance. either that, or you’re completely freaked out. although, gojo’s pride would only let him choose the former.

“so,” the boy, gojo, begins, “are you the little shrimp yaga-sensei told us we’d be looking after?”

you press your lips together in a soft frown, before your eyebrows furrow with the small huff that left you as geto smacks the back of his palm against his friend’s chest. “‘m not a shrimp, you know — not even that much shorter than you.”

as if to further prove his point, you get an eyeful of white hair as he leans down to meet your eyes, just barely but enough to provide the message. “yeah?” he breathed. his grin makes you nauseous, pearly whites on display and dimmed with the backlit centered illumination giving him a frontal shadow. you tilt your nose up at him before holding his own gaze, his bright ceruleans on display as you replied with a passive-aggressive, “yeah.”

geto laughs, pressing his arm against his friend’s chest to get him to back away from you, the intense scent of cypress and a deep sea breeze no longer engulfing your senses. soft snickers instead fill your ears as gojo stuffs his hands into the pant pockets of his uniform before slipping past you with a hum. geto follows in suit.

you turn your head back to the open doorway, seeing the boys make their way out before gojo turns to you once more. “you coming or what, shrimp?”

you groan under your breath and he smiles at your reaction, now no longer in your sight as he turns the corner; struggling to hold back a grin at the quick footsteps that trail behind him with a hesitant, “hold— hold on a sec! i’m not a shrimp!”

“you are too.”

“are not,” you huff.

his eyes trail up towards the ceiling for a second, tapping his chin as he feigns a long, hard thought before cracking out into another smile. “are too.”

this game continues for a while, and you almost feel bad for geto — except the little game of chicken that you and his counterpart had going on was taking up more of your attention at the moment. with his obnoxiously long legs, gojo purposefully takes wide strides to try and tease you at least a little bit, having you make more of an effort to keep up — just because you’re new doesn’t mean that you should be let off the hook so easily, he thinks.

“are too—“

“these are the dorms,” suguru interjects, his tone clearly exasperated at this point. a few minutes of walking and the poor man felt like it was hours of meaningless boredom.

your eyes follow the direction of geto’s finger over the trail of doors that lay before you. he leans his head forward, the golden sunlight capturing his face as a few strands of raven hair from his bun slip out from their ties. “my dorm’s on the very end right there,” he gestures his head to the door at the corner, “satoru’s is two down to the left.”

speaking of him, gojo slings an arm around your shoulders; keeping a firm grip even with only his bicep as you try to squirm away. “don’t worry, i’m sure yaga’ll help you in no time. by the end of the day, you’ll be lazing around in a nice bed with your feet kicked up, thinking about how you met the most beautiful man ever today,” he says to you.

“don’t you think it’s a little weird to call your friend the most beautiful man ever?”

to gojo’s horror, geto snickers from behind him.

“you’re a sassy one, aren’t you. .” he mutters under his breath, a sigh escaping him as the warmth of his arm leaves your shoulders and is instead met with the cool air conditioning of the halls, only the sun’s peeking through the windows warming you up. he takes a step near his friend, hands stuffed in his pockets once again. “well, you can always stop by whenever you do get your dorm, i’ll always be here,” he singsongs. you fake gag at his playful wink.

geto steps towards you, leaning into you as he mumbles a little too loudly ( whether that was on purpose or not remained unknown ), “don’t worry, the girls’ wing is on the other side — luckily you won’t have to see that idiot all the time.” you laugh at your eyes trail to gojo’s small pout from behind the boy, his shoulders deflating instantly once he realized he was left out.

“hey, so like, can we not bully me for today? just once?” he chimes in, tilting his head to the side a bit in question. you and geto share one last glance and laugh together before he walks ahead of you again, gojo lagging behind so you’d walk next to him as well.

he couldn’t help but glance at you, noticing how you keep your eyes trained in front of you. only occasionally flitting to the window to admire the outside scenery. it wasn’t everyday that they got a new student, and if they did, they never lasted long. despite still only being a first year, geto and gojo adapted to the harsh environments of jujutsu society — fully aware of the consequences and what it would take to save non-sorcerers. which only made gojo all the more curious as to why you were here.

“pervert, quit staring at me.”

“hey, people would pay for these eyes on them — you’re a lucky girl, today,” he explains, bumping his shoulder with yours. you glare at him. his smile doesn’t falter.

“so do all new recruits get this treatment or what?” you chide, putting a hand on your hip comfortably as you walk. he hums for a moment. “nah,”. he decides, “you’re special,” his grin only widens the more you banter, bright blue eyes mimicking yours in a sharp narrowing. you hold his gaze for a bit, before ultimately deciding it wasn’t worth it — turning your head with a low, ‘tch’ as you keep your feet moving. gojo does the same.

they walk you around the campus, showing you the track field and the direction in which the girls’ wing is, telling you to report back to them once yaga had assigned you a room, gojo urging you to invite him over one day to which geto nudges the back of his leg with his shoe. and at the end of the day you’re left with a small wave goodbye to your new classmates, smiles on their faces as they walk off back into the dorms; leaving you to roam around with the new-known information.

you look back at the stone arch of the school’s entrance, the stone pathway beneath your feet as you squint from the brightness of the sun just beyond the horizon. a perfect point of which the ground and the sky meet.

you can feel the blocks of sunlight on your chest as you take one last look at it, face softening at the sight.

gojo takes one last look behind him to check on you, seeing your frame simply stand and soak up the golden skies. his lips only quirk the slightest bit upwards, geto quirking a brow beside him only to let an amused breath out at his best friend’s infatuation. “don’t start going all mushy on me now, satoru.”

said friend turns his head back ( geto notices how he takes one last quick glance back before fully rotating his head ) and scoffs, “no way.” geto merely hums and closes his eyes, a knowing feeling growing in his stomach. “she is kinda cute, you know,” gojo mumbles — closing his eyes when geto opens his own to look at the boy dubiously.

he, too, looks back at you only to find you walking off to another section of the high school; presumably to go and talk to yaga to find out where the hell your dorm would be. he chuckles. “don’t ruin another friendship for us by going a little too far with the flirting, this time.”

the snow-haired boy stays quiet at that, creating a small lull in the conversation only filled by the clacking of shoes against pavement. the sun on the nape of his neck slowly eases up with how it lowers beyond the skyline, small beads of sweat slowly seeping back into his skin before he huffs. “can you believe the way she talked to me?” geto looks over to him once more. “‘yeah’, who does she think she is talking to us like that?” gojo makes a dumb face as he mimics you, hands on his hips momentarily as he mocks the way you stood — it was surprising how he was the one saying this.

geto snickers. “you mean the way she talked to you.”

“whatever,” his classmate responds with a yawn, being able to crack a small smile at geto’s laughs of amusement at his frustration ( or how gojo would call it, his ‘suffering’ ). “you’ll learn to like her eventually,” he chides. his friend stays quiet at that once more.

gojo tilts his head up at the darkening sky. he swears he can feel the sun on his chest, too.

ii. the way the clouds shape us

“special grade? guess satoru was wrong about you being a shrimp,” the sound of geto’s laughter fills the air, thin fingers handing you back your student id as you pocketed the small, white card back in the pocket of your uniform.

“he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” you shake your head, placid smile painted on your lips. geto leans against the tree, careful not to ruin his sleek hair against the chipped bark. he watched as you lifted your hands up to the sky. you extend your fingers and stretch them out — watching as the light blue of the sky above you illuminates your open-faced palm and casts a shadow for the rest of your arm.

gojo wasn’t wrong, you were definitely beautiful. even geto knew it, taking in the way your hair splayed out delicately against the vibrant grass, as he could hear the distant chatter of his other two best friends making their way towards you two. you had to thank gojo for this, considering he was the found who found this little safe haven in the first place.

over the past few months ( even if you joined a little later than halfway through the actual school year ), it became quite comfortable for you to chat with these newfound friends of yours. you quickly got along with ieiri, much to gojo’s dismay as he has discovered you two make the best team against him with your sharp words towards him. he’d savor the way you’d lean in and tell him you were never really serious afterwards ( even though he was well aware of that fact, he’d like knowing you still didn’t want to really hurt his feelings ). it really felt like home when you were with them, a sanctuary only for the four of you.

with your eyes flitting closed, geto finally tears his eyes from you to gaze at the duo approaching the two of you, gojo whining about something like usual as shoko barely humored him with the little tolerance she had left; a pale cigarette hanging from between her lips.

you relish in the sun on your skin, lessened from the months before that first day you came to tokyo’s jujutsu high as you’ve adapted. you must adapt in order to survive. you realize that now, which is why you indulge in the small moments you can get — even if it’s just silence with geto or the fact that suddenly, even behind closed eyelids, the sun was gone.

allowing your lashes to flutter open, you see a familiar brunette stand above you. a combination of the sweet, earthy tones emitting from the dewy grass below you and her perfume suddenly hit your nose, surprising but definitely not unpleasant. you hummed, eyebrows furrowed.

she laughs, “eh? you two are just out here without us?”

“sigh,” you roll your eyes at gojo who audibly says the word ‘sigh’, “so inconsiderate, you two.”

geto laughs, resting his hands upon his stomach as he closes his eyes — nose twitching with the leftover pollen floating along with the soft, spring breeze down from its habitat within the trees and the plants enclosing you all.

he doesn’t exactly fall asleep, especially in such an uncomfortable position. but he makes peace with this discomfort and instead seeks refuge in his own place of serenity, only him and his thoughts ( and the quiet chatter of you and shoko ganging up on your white-haired friend ).

you exhale smoothly through your nose, a breath of fresh air leaving your lungs as you stare up at your friend, a smirk threatening to unleash itself on her face even from behind the cancer stick. “those things kill, you know,” you playfully chastise her, watching as she chuckles before crouching down.

she slips the cigarette from past her mouth, the end stained glossy and pink from that one lip product you always forget the brand of, before offering the smoke to you between her two fingers. she hums as you take the tube, the material dry against your lips. “might as well while we’re still alive and young,” she says — and the morbidity of the question no longer bothers you like it would have a few months earlier. instead, you actually chuckle at her dry delivery. you struggle not to choke with your laid back position as you hold it before letting it escape you, a hot puff of smoke emitting in the air.

“so, what’re we doing today?” a pair of lanky, slack-clad legs come into your peripheral along with a familiar mop of snowy hair before it disappears, his voice trailing off as he sits next to geto. you prop yourself up on your elbows, squinting at the sudden bright light as shoko sits beside you inside.

you crack a small smile at the feeling of her fingertips messing with the ends of your hair, shaking out the small bits of grass that got stuck in the delicate strands. gojo, however, thinks you’re smiling at him so he grins in return before your smile is soon replaced with an unsure expression — almost like you’re gonna throw up just from looking at him. he still doesn’t falter.

“what do you think we should do?” you ask after a bit, thanking ieiri under your breath as she’s done helping you primp.

“what if we go to the convenience store for a bit and get some snacks? i was thinking—“

“boringg..” shoko’s thoughts are interrupted by gojo’s loud interruption, her face immediately dropping as she looks at him. “hey, you don’t have to show off in front of your girlfriend every day, y’know,” she shoots back.

he pouts at the brunette, his shoulders deflating as his hands come up to his face to mimic a fake tear rolling down his cheek. a nervous huff escapes you as you look between her, geto, and gojo before you start, “he’s not m—“

“how about we go to the arcade in shinjuku city? they close in like,” he checks the imaginary watch on his wrist ( whether he didn’t know he had interrupted you or he didn’t want you to finish your thought was something you didn’t understand ), “two hours, i guess.”

you roll your neck around on your shoulders, sighing at the low cracks that escape your aching bones. eager for some activity, you shrug. “hate to admit it, but that might be the greatest idea gojo’s ever had.”

to that, he beams. you hear a duet of groans come from your other two friends. “aw, c’mon. don’t give into him so easily,” geto chides playfully.

“not to brag—“

“—all you do is brag, gojo—“

“—but i, personally, think i have a ton of great ideas.”

geto tips head back and laughs. you see the way his eyelids twitch and scrunch with his soft smile, outer corners crinkling as the airy sound frees itself from him. he crosses his arms. “that’s why you personally think that, im afraid ‘s not a very common opinion,” he answered calmly. gojo sulks as he looks to shoko for help. she shrugs and puffs out another cloud of smoke between the small opening she’s created on the side of her mouth.

“we can always bully him some other time, i’m bored and i’m practically losing years off of my life just listening to him,” you mutter to her — perhaps a little too loud as you see gojo’s jaw drop open from your peripheral.

geto gets up, dusting the damp pieces of grass sticking to his pants and the back of his legs before taking a big stretch. you wrap your arm around the other, extending your elbow and mimicking his motions as you let out a sigh at the feeling of weary muscles ( which you can already tell that geto and gojo will use against you when you spar ).

“why don’t we go already then?” he inquires, causing gojo to shoot up as you already start to slowly walk back to the campus entrance. shoko snorted as she shook her head, trailing behind to walk and talk with the raven-haired man. your eyes scan over the perimeter of the horizon, spotting all the grass and the vast architecture of the highschool, squinting as you look for the way you came from.

feeling the air change from behind you and the soft sounds of quick footsteps on grass, you begin. “hey shoko, do you ever—“

then you see his stupid smile.

“oh,” you say. he scoffs, almost like he’s offended that you had such a tame reaction. gojo huffs a bit, still attempting to keep up with your pace. “just ‘oh’? you aren’t excited to talk to me at all?” he groans.

you shrug. “just thought you were shoko ‘s all.”

oh, you really shouldn’t have said that. you think — because once you see the way his face splits into a grin once more, you instantly grimace. “so you are excited to talk to me.”

“never said that.”

“you didn’t have to. i’m psychic.”

“that so? what am i thinking right now, then?” you ask, finally tearing your eyes away from the ground and tilting your head at gojo; who taps his chin and pretends to think ( although, you know that there’s a seventy percent chance that whatever comes out of his mouth will be bullshit considering the way he’s struggling to hold back a smile ).

your question evokes a long hum from him as he looks up to the sky, to the right, and then back to you before he answers, “how handsome i am?” your eyes narrow a bit, one of the rare moments where satoru gojo could render you speechless.

once your mouth drops open, void of sound, gojo’s almost ready to backtrack and apologize before you finally laugh. a nice, hearty laugh that makes your chest rumble in between every breath. and if that isn’t the biggest ego booster for the boy then you’re not sure what is. he couldn’t care of you were laughing at him or with him, all he knows is that he can’t help but chuckle along with you. his chest swells with pride as you lean on the stone archway as the cacophony of giggles slows down.

you wipe the corner of your eyes, looking back at geto and ieiri as they eye you in confusion — but nonetheless give you a pity snicker in response.

“you’re hilarious, gojo — keep it up,” you finally say.

he beams boyishly at you, a warm wave of something washes over him albeit he can’t figure out what. “nice to know i still got it,” he asserted, making you give one last eye roll before you looked back at the stone steps leading to the front entrance.

you skipped forward and turned your body a bit to look at your classmates. the usual scowl on your face no longer evident anymore for it was replaced by a soft smile, one so foreign even to shoko who’s company you more or less enjoyed the most. she pursed her lips around the tobacco stick in an uncharacteristic curiosity, wondering what that fool could’ve done now to make you genuinely laugh.

“i’m gonna grab something from my dorm real quick, ‘kay?” although you were probably saying it to the group as a whole, gojo nodded eagerly as he flashed you a thumbs-up with a small, ‘okay’ as well.

he turned to shoko and geto as you rushed up the stairs and into the building, running along to the girls’ wing as they glared at him. “what?” his voice was too innocent to be gojo, just the sound of his “oblivion” made them want to facepalm. geto held a thumbs up as he mocked his friend’s earlier face while shoko have a light huff, the sound somewhere in between sounding both exasperated and entertained.

“th’hell was that?” she asked, finally stubbing the cigarette out with her shoe ( still keeping a pack on here though, you never know when you might need one. especially when you’re friends with the biggest idiot in tokyo ).

“what?” he repeated.

“nothin’,” geto shrugged, the tiny front piece he kept loose from his bun swaying as he shook his head. he shares a look with shoko that definitely throws gojo off though. he narrows his eyes at them, spectacles somewhat hiding the oceans that are his irises.

gojo crosses his arms. “you guys are just jealous that i can make a pretty lady laugh.”

“you— you don’t think . .” shoko trails off, her forehead crinkling as she looks like she’s trying to decipher something. gojo quirks a brow even though she was thinking aloud or possibly talking to geto instead — he still waits for her to finish her sentence. “what?” he repeats only to be met with a dismissive shake of the head from her.

he opens his mouth to ask what they’re talking about before he hears hasty shoes against stone and looks behind him to see you, walking back down with a small pin clasped in your hand that shimmers in the sun when you hold your hand up.

gojo’s eyes take their own route as they fly away from your palm, down your arm until it reaches your face — a fond smile written on your face like you had been claimed victorious. it made his own smile quirk back up again.

you only spare him a glance before you lope to shoko. he watches as you hand the item over to her before she takes it, a faint half-smile twitching on her lips bemusedly.

“so you can keep your bangs to the side,” you answer — even when no one has asked why you gave that pin to her. “i got it from osaka on that mission last month — thought it’d look cute on you.” geto cocks his head as he tunes out your conversation before shrugging and walking back over to gojo, hands shoved in his pockets.

he chuckles, “no need to pout, satoru.”

“i’m not pouting,” he placed a hand on his hip. unbeknownst to him, he totally was; whether it was unintentional or not. “she’s just playing favorites over here when i’m the one who so graciously invited her to start hanging out with us,” he frowns.

a laugh and a rough pat on the back from geto interrupted him from entering his soon incoming villain arc as he walked back over to you and ieiri, pulling his dramatic friend along with him. gojo’s ears perked up at your voice in the conversation once more.

“oh, you know i don’t like all those weird hair clips ‘n’ stuff—“

“don’t worry,” you lean over, brushing some of her bangs out of her face as you clip them to the side. gojo watches afar as your thin fingers work to cover the small pin with another piece of shoko’s hair, successfully getting it out of her face and concealing the pin in the process. you grin, mission accomplished.

pulling back, you watch as shoko touches her hair — smirking when she realizes how useful it’d be. she pats your head and looks at you before her eyebrows furrow; only then do you realize what she was focused on behind you.

“uh, where’s my souvenir?” your face instantly drops as you feel gojo’s chin on your shoulder, words purred dangerously low next to your ear.

“up your ass.”

“mind fetching it for me?”

“you’re disgusting—!” you push him off as he chortles, his eyes crinkling softly as bouts of laughter overtake him at your exaggerated reaction.

“we’re not gonna make it to shinjuku if you guys keep bickering like children,” you both hear geto chide. you look over to the entrance, a small smile on his face as he teases the both of you.

you scoff, stuffing your own hands in your pockets as you walk over to the dark haired man. “he started it,” you mutter.

he gasps. “nu-uh!”

“yu-huh,” you retort. he sticks his tongue out at you in retaliation whilst shoko follows you and geto in return. gojo smirks as you huff and turn around, watching as his friend bumped hips with you on the way there, making mindless conversation.

the air wasn’t so bad, the light breeze felt more refreshing than over. he looked back over at shoko’s hair in thought.

perhaps he’d have to work harder at officially getting on your good side some other time, he thinks.

iii. the taste of blue raspberry

vibrant lights and loud video game chirps wasn’t exactly gojo’s scene despite how he always presented himself; extroverted and inherently obnoxious ( although, he’d prefer to use the word ‘comfortable’ rather than obnoxious whenever you’d refer to the latter ). all he could do was trail after you and shoko, geto following him as he observed the random teens and little kids accompanied with their parents that kept the arcade flowing.

cerulean eyes follow your movements in hopes that he’ll keep track of you. that he wont lose you in this crowd. he’ll occasionally look over at shoko and geto to make sure they’re still here, too.

“so, you chose a shitty arcade spot to hangout in? such poor taste,” he leans down over you, hoping that mild jabs and soft teasing will help keep his mind off of the fact that there’s snot nosed kids running around the already narrow spaces between the machines; their flat footsteps melding together with all the loud sounds as they become synchronized with the beat of the music.

your lips twist into a sneer at the sound of him, slowly turning your head to look behind you at the boy who grinned so slyly. gojo knew exactly what he was doing.

“would you rather have yaga put us to work and sweep the dorms?” you bat your eyelashes as he only smiles further, reveling in how you play along with his little game.

“i dunnooo.. wherever you go i go, i suppose.”

“such a flirt.”

“just being honest,” he puts his hands up defensively as he walks past you to a random machine that stands stationary in front of you, untouched with whirring, vibrant lights that glow brighter when he thumbs a few tokens in the slot at the bottom. as you hear the clinking of the coin hit against the curvature inside of the machine, the snow-haired boy turns to look at you with a boyish smile as he crouches down and points a finger to the blinking button saying, ‘play now!’

you have the urge to warn him about how the game is most likely rigged. you don’t. instead your parted lips close with a huff. gojo is said to be able to do anything, you remember, he’ll learn the hard way.

“you mind getting me a slush at the machines?” he says, lanky body extending to its full height as stands upright again.

“that’s so far — and scary,” you feign a pout. realistically, you were just too lazy to walk all the way over there and back for one item.

“take suguru with you,” he tips his head up to gesture in the direction of the dark haired friend, to whom you see looking out the glass doors at all the kids who run through the place.

so there you are, walking along with geto as you huff about how gojo could have gotten the drink himself. he hums occasionally, looking around and observing the environment to try and make sure you don’t run into anything during your chatter.

“he does care about you, though. you know that right?” his fingers sift through the yen in his palm, the coins clinking around as he grabs some and puts it into the thin slot of the slushee machine.

your lips press together as you hum almost dismissively, head cocked. the cup makes a soft thud against the metal as he puts the cup inside and closes the small glass opening. the machine whirs as he clicks the blue raspberry flavor almost like it’s muscle memory — the blue button lighting up with the white kana in front of it.

“you want something?” geto asks quietly, leaning down to interrupt your analysis.

the thought makes you crack a small smile as you think for a moment before turning to face him. “do you want something?” you inquire. “i’ll pay.”

he waves you off with a soft smile. “it’s alright, i’m not much into sweets.”

you grab gojo’s cup out of the dispenser, putting a clear lid and straw in it as you grab another disposable cup. if you were going to get a slushee, you weren’t going to let geto pay for it by himself. the whirring of machine’s drink being poured almost drowns out the loud, coinciding beeps and animated sounds of the nearby screens you both hear.

“then let me buy you something when we get out of here,” you smile at him.

you fail to notice the way his face softens at you when you’re too busy grabbing the cup, licking off the excess that spills over onto your thumb as you laugh. his smile falters a bit, before he walks with you back to go get shoko and gojo.

you scoff at the sight of the white haired man smirking at the pixelated screen, pointing it out to you and geto. the two of you lean over as you heard gojo sip on the drink while you roll your eyes at the big blue kanji in bold spelling out, ‘top score: satoru gojo’.

“thought you weren’t a fan of blue raspberry,” you hear from behind you.

already, you see the man in question leaning on geto as he looks at you with a quirked brow. you look down at your cup. ah, you think, guess you did. your expression must give something away because you hear shoko amusedly huff next to you.

you shrug. “guess i just wanted to try something new.”

clearly a mistake because his smile only widens as he slings an arm around your shoulder too. “nah, you know what i’m thinking?”

“you never think.” that earns you a flick to the forehead.

he leans down. “i think i’m rubbing off on you,” he laughs.

you try to push him off of you yet he manages to let his weight relax as you struggle to keep him up, “gojo, you ass,” you mutter.

he turns to look at you, his smile looks different. feels different. “call me satoru,” he beams.

iv. ‘the star plasma vessel?’

riko amanai is a pretty girl, you think. you have no idea why she wanted to be the star plasma vessel in the first place. you weren’t there when satoru and suguru went to go meet her, instead hearing her version of the story where they practically tortured her — and knowing the boys, you’re not quite sure that she wasn’t exaggerating.

she likes you, definitely favoring you a little more than tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum, you think as you pointedly look at the pair of friends, walking ahead of you.

you look down at riko’s arm interlocked with yours and smile. “so,” you whistle, “what do you think of those two?”

her green eyes dart up to yours before looking at suguru and satoru and squinting. “they’re interesting, that’s for sure,” she mumbles. her lips twist into a sneer-like pout just at the sight of them, evoking a lighthearted chuckle from you. you fail to notice the way satoru’s head turns to look at you ever so slightly at the sound.

it makes riko grin as you playfully bump your hip with hers. satoru had never seen you so lax. maybe because the young girl was easier to handle than himself. he didn’t mind seeing you like this, but he couldn’t deny that it was pretty fun to work you up, too.

he smiles at the thought of your puffed cheeks with furrowed brows, narrowed eyes burning holes into him as he would flick your forehead for the third time in a row.

“what’s gotten you all cheesy?” he hears suguru inquire from beside him, tearing his eyes away from the stone road beneath him to look at his snow-haired friend. “eh? just thinking about stuff,” satoru replies.

suguru hums, his hand still shoved in his uniform’s pocket. “you sure it has nothing to do with—“

“a-tat-tat-tat—!” satoru waves a hand in front his friends face, holding another finger up as a gesture for him to silence. “what’d we say about sharing private stuff in public, suguru?”

“i can’t help it, some ‘gossip’ is too hot,” he shrugs.

“that does not help me—“

“what gossip are you guys talking about?” riko chimes, crossing her arms as the two of them look at her. you quirk a brow yourself.

if he’d had known better, satoru would’ve flinched at the rough hand you had smacked down on his shoulder. his eyes flickered towards you, already spotting the sly smile on your face. fuck you for being so beautiful, he thinks.

“yeah, what gossip are you guys talking back?” you press. he scoffs, waving you off as he continues walking. your lips press into a pout as you cross your arms as well, mimicking riko’s motions as you two whisper about whatever. suguru laughs at the two of you — only a few days and you guys were already twins.

sometimes the thought made your smile falter ever so slightly, knowing that you had to escort her only in a day or two was saddening. but for now, you’ll enjoy the smiles and pats on the back — knowing you’d have to part soon was only so minuscule in a world drowned in familiarity.

you intertwine your fingers with hers instead and swing your arms back and forth before you turn your head to your aforementioned friend.

“hey suguru, what do you say we show riko-chan here that little coffee shop downtown?” you ask, watching as he turns his attention away from his small flip phone’s messaging system ( as he’s most likely texting shoko and making fun of satoru in the process ) before his eyebrows raise with a soft smile.

you hear satoru huff again as his head whips around to look at you. stifling a laugh, you take in his furrowed brows and jutted lip as he sulks.

“hey, why don’t i know about any secret coffee shop downtown?”

“we had just found it walking around one day,” suguru deflects.

“and you didn’t tell me about this super-cool-top-secret-no-satoru café?”

you beam before resting your hand on his shoulder. satoru swears electricity shoots through his nerves as he turns to look at you. he wouldn’t spoil it now, but he’s seventy percent sure that this is the first time you’ve touched him without pushing him ( or as he’d like to call it, abusing him ) away.

“don’t be so jealous, satoru,” he ignores the way you call of his name makes a pit settle in his stomach. you turn to riko, “we’ll share the spot, yeah?”

“if you say so,” suguru puts his hands up in playful submission. satoru only chuckles.

your laugh synchronizes with the sounds around you, like music to satoru’s ears whilst you skip ahead with riko and scan your perimeter. everything sounds clearer now; the birds outside zipping around trees, chairs and drinks clinking, a heavy pair of distant footsteps that you can only assume is the trailing of a few people on their way to the same place.

but none of that really matters, although you’re sure everything does. all these sounds are apart of you and you’re willing to make the most of it. you walk hand in hand with riko as the boys follow in suit.

you scoff at the way satoru pulls the chair out for you before sitting himself in his own and kicking his feet up. his brow quirks cockily at the sound. “ah, so you’re only nice to me when amanai is around?”

“someone’s still gotta keep you in your place, satoru.”

“yes, ma’am,” he laughs, tipping his head back lazily as his hands fold over his chest. suguru huffs and grabs his friend’s feet before shoving them back down onto the cement. “decency, satoru?”

“ehh,” he groans, only peeking an eye at suguru before closing them again and letting his body go lax. you shake your head and laugh, watching as riko eyes him in annoyance. they’ll warm up to each other eventually, you think — and you can tell suguru feels the same.

“this is so cool—!” you chuckle at the way the young girl gleams at the intricate details of the outdoor table and the faint music playing from inside the café. her green eyes shimmer in the light, you notice; perhaps maybe just curiosity glinting in them. she’s only fourteen.

your eyes flicker around your environment yourself, hearing the mindless chatter that riko and suguru partake in about, presumably about what they’re going to do next. you squint at the distance, seeing an unusually tall man towering over a few people as he looks in your direction. your lips purse as you narrow your eyes at him further before he tilts his head up and turns away.

you watch as he walks away, his toned back all you see before you hear a mumble of your name and a tap of your foot.

you look over to see satoru, who stares at you with an indecipherable expression — something between an uncharacteristic curiosity and a standoff-ish glow. your head tilts before you look back over at the front of the café. that man is gone.

you turn back to see satoru leaning over the table with a sly smile. “penny for your thoughts?”

you shake your head and dismiss him with a weary smile and a lazy shake of your hand. “just looking around,” you say — even if you know that you can’t fool satoru gojo, his eyebrows only pinch a bit before slightly rotating his head to look behind him a bit.

“you want a sweet?” you ask, tapping his side of the table to get his attention.

had his eyes always looked so piercing, you think to yourself, as you feel something move around in your chest. rearranging itself along with the soft onomatopoeic thumps of the organ that lays inside.

he hesitates. “nah, i’ll get something on the way back later.”

“who are you and what have you done with satoru?” you chuckle. he ignores the way the usage of his given name makes him feel, the way you say it — syllables still fresh on your tongue. instead, he laughs along with you while looking over to his friend. he doesn’t know what he expected, suguru was always observant; so why was he so surprised to see him looking at the two of you with a raised brow?

you look back at riko before gasping out a small laugh at her chubby cheeks, full of food as she eats it like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have. it only makes your grin grow wider when her eyes meet yours, like a deer in headlights whilst she stops chewing. you both take a pause, even when the boys turn to look at you as well — before you burst out into bouts of laughter. riko’s giggles are muffled by the parfait that’s swelled in her cheeks but she covers her mouth with a polite hand as she tries not to choke.

your cheeks feel warm with the way they stretch to curl into a smile. suguru and satoru exchange a look before satoru smiles right along with you. it wasn’t so bad, he thinks. if amanai made you act like this then maybe he didn’t mind her as much as he thought. his foot taps against the concrete underneath the table. he can feel something wriggling around in his chest.

v. deficit

riko amanai’s beauty, no longer will it be seen as the white sheet frames her features instead, you think.

the deafening sound of applause almost takes your mind off of satoru’s expression; only coldness lies within his features, now.

your hand clutches your side, even with the greatness of the stitches that shoko had blessed your wounds with — you could almost still feel his knife in your abdomen. the stinging never seemed to go away. the clapping doesn’t help, all of your senses are occupied on trying to focus on satoru.

with the close proximity of suguru next to you, you can feel the way his hand twitches against his side while he looks at riko, or more so, the sheet that covers her. you can feel his horror, too. just a couple of days ago, she was fourteen, trotting along tokyo with you

you’re almost upset you weren’t there for her death, you weren’t there to comfort her in her last moments or save her at all. you were only there for the aftermath, the same man who you saw at the coffee shop just days prior. you look at suguru to your right — who knows what he’s gone through, you think.

and yet throughout all the booms of cheers and applause, you can hear satoru’s voice and your head whirls back to him. you almost don’t recognize it when he utters, “i screwed up, it’s not your fault.”

your hand comes up to gently rest upon your mouth in a soft gasp as your eyes try not to trail down to where riko’s shoe clad feet swing with satoru’s steps, the only part of her that’s left unsheathed from the horror of what’s underneath the cover.

his next words come out muffled yet you know you couldn’t escape them even if you tried, so close yet so far to avoidance — but you know you heard him clearly.

he calls your name, then suguru’s. “should we kill these guys?” your stomach churns, the pain in your side gets worse — your head hurts and it feels like you don’t know where you are at one point. you start to question whether anything is real at this point. he adds, “i doubt i’d feel anything about it.”

his eyes don’t dart to yours like they had the few mornings prior, before you had gone to escort the young girl. he had smiled and slapped a comforting hand on your shoulder once you explained how you had a bad feeling. you still do. you wonder if there’s any other feelings you could have, anymore.

you hear suguru’s soft mutter next to you, the applause only simmering down as you try to hyper-focus on his voice. perhaps to ground you, or perhaps you couldn’t escape it; a reminder of what this world is really like. “no,” he says. “there wouldn’t be a point.”

your vision glosses over into a blur and you go to look at the light above you, florescent and blinding. your heart hurts and you do your best not to clutch it through the fabric of your uniform, you can’t be seen like this, you think. you can’t let them see what’s happening to you.

fingers digging into your palm, you tune the rest of suguru’s voice out; even though you can feel his eyes on you regardless. instead, the pair of your own follow satoru, seeing riko’s hand, partially crusted with the leftover pool of blood that had flowed beside her head, swing lifelessly as he walks past the two of you.

your brows knit closer together as you stare at him. everything clips in and out. the noise, the cheers, suguru’s voice slowly melding into satoru’s. “no point, huh?” he huffs. “does there need to be a point?”

“of course there does,” suguru snaps back. mauve irises are nothing but void now, his eyes only fixated on the ground a few feet in front of him. “especially for jujutsu sorcerers.”

your eyes burn with the way they’ve been mindlessly gazing at the snow-haired boy, the back of his head the only thing you can catch a glimpse of behind suguru’s dark hair. it doesn’t feel like they can close, only the sheen layer of oncoming tears coating them so they don’t entirely dry out. “satoru,” you breathe — and with the way things are going, you’re surprised to see cerulean eyes turn to meet yours.

suguru doesn’t bother to look at you since he can already anticipate the crumbling feeling of guilt when he sees your expression. it doesn’t matter anyway. it almost feels like nothing does.

glossed lips don’t part like how they’d usually do, they don’t even grace you with the smallest sight of a smirk like how satoru always would. you’re not quite sure why you whisper his name, what you’ll even say. maybe a mantra that only connects the two of you, something that’ll keep you sane.

he keeps his eyes locked on you for a second more before turning his head and walking away. your hand comes to grasp at your side. the stinging comes back.

vi. pinky promises (of two)

sentimentality was a privilege in a world of jujutsu — you learned, after riko. sensitivity wasn’t trained into sorcerers, in fact, you’d say it was actually trained out of them. it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing to be sensitive. although, surrounded by the strong, tears burned hot on your skin and your hand burned even harder when they’d come up to wipe them away.

the birds outside the encapsulated feeling of the trees chirp, showcasing what once looked golden now is tainted with a dull grey that seems to gloss over everything now. your eyes feel droopy, no longer laced with sleep but with the dread that’ll come with the rest of the day.

you wonder how satoru’s doing, how shoko’s doing. how suguru’s doing. his face looks thinner, you noticed as you think back from the recollection of your faded memories from two mornings ago. he won’t go out with you as often, you wonder how badly it fucked him up. you wonder if anything will be the same again.

you run a frustrated hand through your hair, cringing at the way oil meets your fingers. you know you have to wash your hair, but you can’t bring yourself to. it almost feels like a chore, combined along with your classes and being put on your ass every time when you try to spar with satoru.

(he always says he’ll go easy on you and let you win. you huff in annoyance — he never does.)

despite all the breaths of fresh air you try to take, your lungs can never feel free of the burden that they’re tainted with. you close your eyes and savor the heat of the bark against your palm, in hopes that it’ll finally soothe the ache in your chest like how it did all those weeks ago — at the beach in okinawa.

you remember the warmth of the sand against your skin, smacking your hands together when you’d sit upright to rid your skin of the small golden flecks. you remember seeing riko and gojo splashing each other in the water as you heard kuroi and suguru’s soft voices conversation from beside you. the feeling of your hair tied, the brightness of the sun drowning your skin. it’s so vivid in your mind, you wonder if everything was all a dream, sometimes.

a raspy voice breaks your reverie as it excuses itself before you move your propped leg and look down below you. a faint smile finds its way to your lips as you see a familiar brown bob accompanied by the scent of tobacco and rose body spray.

“so distant out here,” she cranes her neck up at you with pressed lips, you internally sigh in relief at the lack of a cigarette that’s usually rested between them. a small pout forms on your lips at her extended arm, looking down at her hand and then back up at her with a cocked head. “i’d say with more to do out here, i would understand why.”

you huff. “i was brutally injured not too long ago, and this is how you treat your favorite patient, let alone favorite friend?” shoko smirks with an entertained scoff.

“i don’t see utahime around here anywhere.”

“shoko!”

she snickers as she makes her way over to the grass, the plush dirt cold against her upper thighs as she unceremoniously plops down onto it. you begrudgingly ( but not really, as the lack of social interaction practically burns your throat ) hop down from the branches of the tree, the heat finally capturing you in all of its glory as you carefully sit down next to shoko.

“always reminiscing, huh?” she asks. you can see the way she fidgets with the turtleneck of her uniform, presumably from the antsy withdrawal of her cigs. you give a small hum — whether it’s an affirmation or not, you don’t know. all you know is that it’s a noise that escapes you, now only a rare sight for the people closest to you.

your tongue tingles with the longing of verbosity. eager to say something, except the brunette beats you to it first. “i get it,” she sighs. “it’s nice to be alone out here.”

“we can’t ever be alone with those two idiots,” you remind her playfully, a chuckle managing to slip past your lips as she groans at the mention of the two familiar boys.

“how’s satoru doing?” you ask softly, plucking at the dewy grass that lay beneath you. shoko looks at you quizzically from out of the corner of her eye before closing her eyes with a snorted laugh. your heads whips around to look at her as you see her head shaking fondly.

a small, contagious huff makes it way out of you at the sight before she looks back at you, honey eyes narrowing once she realizes that you’re genuinely asking. her smile never falters, though ( which is usually a bad sign considering of the sadistic streak you’ve seen her partake in ).

“have you got it for the satoru gojo?”

you gape. “i don’t—! i just,” lips pursed, you huff and tilt your chin up with crossed arms. “the escort was a bust, just wanted to see if his ego wasn’t too hurt.”

at your brash synopsis; your ears grow hot when you realize shoko definitely doesn’t believe you — especially with the way she hunches over a fit of silent snickers.

“shut up.”

“ah, i won’t bully you,” her lips twist into a grin. “for now.”

“shoko!” you throw your head upwards while you fall back and ragdoll, your back hitting the solid dirt beneath you as you put your arms over your head, blocking the sun’s view from your eyes.

all you can feel is the ache in your stomach, even with your friend’s reversed cursed technique, you can still feel the knife that once pierced the flesh linger on. your lips twist until you hear the shuffling of weeds and dirt swipe next to you. you turn your head, lifting your arm only to see the brunette scooting closer. she pauses, “what?”

“you don’t wanna lay down with me?” you feign a pout as you look up at her on propped elbows, the corner of your lip quirking up when you see how unenthusiastic she looks with your antics.

“you can get bugs on you,” she chimes before leaning against the bark of the tree.

“it’s nature, sho.”

“some of it’s pretty gross. you ever see tortoises fuck?”

“you’re so weird,” you laugh before rolling on your back again and looking back up at the sky; eyes gazing at the sun until when you look away, you see faded, floating shapes in your trajectory. she snickers too, looking up at the sky, too.

she’s starting to get eye bags, you notice — the fold of skin forming under her eyes along with faint, darkened circles that sit right under her splayed bottom lashes. unable to blame her, you simply lay there and stare. your eyes still pick up on the way she fiddles with her thumbs placed in her lap, pale yet irritated hands a stark contrast to the darkness of her uniform.

“y’know if it’s me you want instead of gojo, you can say so,” she laughs, interrupting your analysis with how hard you were staring. but this time, you don’t say anything. nothing at all, not even a small twitch of your lips in annoyance or a giggle to her joke, you simply keep staring at me.

she barely tilts her head yet it’s enough for you to notice. she finally asks, “something you’re thinking about?”

the words sit heavy on your tongue, laced with a bitterness you could only describe as filth. “do you ever wonder what’ll happen when we’re older?”

“what do you mean?”

“look at what happened, now.”

her brows relax. “oh.”

shoko’s lips pout out a little bit as she looks off into the horizon, where the school lays dormant with only few staff occasionally walking out or a few students walking out to their drivers to participate in another assignment.

your hands feel hollow with the way they’re too weak to even ball your fists, so you swallow the pit that forms in the hollow crevice of your throat and look back up at the sky.

“we’ll be together forever, right, shoko?”

you hold out your pinky to her — and despite her scoff, she interlocks hers with yours anyways.

vii. words left unsaid, words always heard

“you think it’ll get any better?”

your turn your head to the velvet voice emerging from the shadows, tensing in your spot atop the dorm balcony as you slowly look behind you. long hair is seen first; thick, ebony silk cascading down suguru’s thin t-shirt. you can’t count how many days you’ve seen him wearing that familiar white oversized tee, you wonder if it’s become a second skin for him at this point.

you hum at his presence, turning back to the dark sky that lay before you. looking at the exterior of the school that lay in the courtyard, painted with darkness as only the soft glimmer of moonlight embraces them, embraces you.

“you act like everything will go to shit.”

“i’m not saying that,” his tone is sharp — no longer smooth as how it used to be, he sounds on edge, like the rubber band inside of his throat will snap at any moment.

you hear a few small steps shuffle closer to you whilst you turn around and lean your body forward, the metal of the railing cool against the sweat of your arms. another nightmare, geto notes; from the way your hair is still frazzled and your breaths come out heavy with few quick intervals of inhalation.

you could feel his presence beside you, the aura of tensity thickening the air as you struggled not to say anything. you could feel his eyes on you, observing you. suguru was always observant somehow — you wonder how long he had been that way before you had found out. he was a very interesting boy, you learned early on.

“i never said you did,” your lips twisted like something sour fell damp in your mouth. “you’ve just changed, suguru.”

“have you not changed also?”

closing your eyes, you hope for one more breeze to pass through — for one opportunity, for one sign that’ll release you from this energy. it doesn’t.

“suguru—”

“don’t you ever wonder how the world would be,” a pregnant pause wriggles its way into the two of you, “without curses?”

you look at him only to see violet eyes focused straight ahead of him. he doesn’t glance at you nor even breathe in your direction, his shoulders don’t seem as tense though.

you shake your head with a breathy laugh. “yeah, i guess so.”

you lean further to try and alleviate the pain in your stomach, a churning inside of your gut that gives you a bad feeling just at the thought of it. sharing a look, your heads turn toward each other in the moonlight — he looks paler, you notice. sickly.

“hasn’t everybody? or at least hasn’t every jujutsu user?” you mumble.

( you notice suguru pauses, an uncharacteristic habit that he’s slowly developed — once always so sure and witty with his remarks, now wilted with the uncertainness that’s plagued him. )

“why do we exist?” he finally says.

your eyes dart around, stomach finally squeezing at the discomfort you feel at his question; yet you laugh it off anyway.

“philosophical, are we?” you meager a forced grin, although it only falters slightly once you feel him sigh out a breathy laugh. “a human’s purpose on earth is undefined, i don’t really know the answ—“

“i mean as a jujutsu sorcerer: what is our purpose?”

“i don’t know where you’re going with this,” you finally say. suguru takes a step back and stops resting against the railing. you look down at the high drop, then back at the sky — you wouldn’t want to jump to conclusions, but you can’t help but look at him out of the corner of your peripheral.

( at your absence of an answer, he fills in the quietude for you. )

“we fight curses, right? to protect civilians?” he runs a hand through his dark hair, the sweaty strands connecting with the callouses that lie embedded his fingertips.

you swallow. “uh-huh.”

“but who’s saving us?”

your lips twist into a small pout as you try to comprehend the underlying meaning of his words, you wonder what sort of plan he’s dancing around — why he can’t share it with you. he always shared everything with you.

( your mind mainly focuses on that one blanket that he would always hog when he was over, fleece and blue with white polka dots; now faded and worn, and you’re pretty sure it has one hole in it from when satoru tried pulling it towards him at the foot of the bed. )

“curses are created from human negative energy, the shit that stirs within non-sorcerers that finally manifests itself,” he spits. you don’t move.

“i know what you saw out there. about r—”

you cut him off. the topic ends at the beat of your heart.

suguru calls your name softly, looking back at you with furrowed brows and an inquisitive look upon his face. he seems like he’s genuinely considering this, you think.

a pause ensues, and all you hear are the distant chirps of crickets that inhabit the area. suguru doesn’t, he only looks at you — his ears drowning out any other noises besides the soft breathing exerted from him. he doesn’t seem fazed, he’s thought about this for a while — regardless of your answer, even though he knows it’ll hurt him either way.

“satoru,” you mutter.

“what about him?”

“he doesn’t know?”

“the burden he carries is unlike no other, and i have a feeling we can change that.” he places a soft hand on your shoulder, the warmth of his hand spreading along your arm and only furthering your nausea. “i think you know that, too.”

you turn on your heel, feet similar to lead as it takes everything within you to turn away and head back past the glass, trying to make it back to your dorm before a deft hand catches your wrist. it’s bordering tight, but your head whips around to see him nonetheless.

“promise, right?” his other hand holds out his pinky — almost ironic in a way. you can feel your eyelids heating with the oncoming wave of tears threatening to spill. you can’t though, not now.

it takes a second or two but you apprehensively bring your hand to interlock pinkies, a childish but fond gesture the four of you had always done.

soon, he will have coffee and crepes in the street. he’ll breathe in bliss. empty his cup of its grief, for the new life he will lead — you think.

“promise.”

viii. satoru gojo - the strongest

satoru gojo often feels like he’s not as strong as he can be.

how silly is that?

goodness, to him, is adjacent to a rock flowing slowly through the rapids. he’ll float there first. although, he knows it’ll follow him — he can only hope he’ll meet you in the river, up to his knees, both hands full of something good, like silverfish wriggling for the waters.

a bright, childlike grin on his face as it meets your sheepish one, as if when he were to meet you as a child — being your friend would be worth more than being the heir of the gojo clan. his yukata dirtied and muddy from the cross contaminated water, soaked and dripping once the two of you would make it onto the small rocks. he would’ve been punished by the elders for the mess he had created, but he wonders if it would have made a difference.

he wonders, if you had been there, whether you would have made a difference.

he knows you’ve made one now.

and when he hears the news from yaga, he can’t help but clench his fists like his heart had clenched alongside it. his head pounds with blood thumping through his veins as yaga’s voice muffles.

he doesn’t remember much — he remembers being told about you and suguru, he remembers yelling, he remembers the hot tears that welled up in his lashes as he walked away. he remembers going back to your dorm room, opening your door, and feeling his gut drop at the sight of it.

satoru remembers the lingering scent of your body spray and how it engulfed your room. the small scratches satoru had carved into your desk with a pencil once he had tried tutoring you (it ended horribly and you didn’t get anything done, a smile threatens to tug at his lips at the memory).

the small notes you used to pass in class with shoko folded neatly in an organizer. he picks one up and squints at the shaky kanji of shoko’s handwriting bunched up on the page compared to the way your characters floated on the small ripped piece of paper.

‘did you do #14?’ he read shoko’s.

yours read, ‘yep’.

he could almost laugh at her last response — which read, ‘nerd.’

he wonders how you’re doing with suguru — satoru wants to believe you had no part in the massacre he had inflicted on the village but there’s no way to no for sure, all they can tell is that they found one was suguru’s buttons on the scene. his fingers run along your sheets, neat and made from the days before you had left — he feels his breathing quicken at the sight of your fluffed pillows.

(you knew you were leaving, and that part hurts the most.)

his eyes dance around the decorations of your room, littered with cheery figurines and souvenirs from past missions in shibuya or sapporo, ones you’d always have to march back into satoru’s room for because you knew he had taken at least one.

he had never told you that the only reason he did that wasn’t to be obnoxious, but so that he could pull you into his room and coax you to stay a little longer — how he’d promise you wouldn’t get into trouble with yaga if you just went out for a plate of takoyaki in the middle of the night.

when he had seen suguru in shinjuku that day, all he could think about was that he wanted to tell you — how he wanted to just see you, even if it was only a glimpse; even if you hadn’t said anything to him. he just wanted to see you.

words lingered in his brain, suguru’s request burned into his head. because he didn’t come to fight, he didn’t come with aggression. he only requested that he saw his side, too. a part of him was relieved you weren’t there with him, because he was always weak to you — it would’ve made it so much harder, he thinks.

has he always felt this way about you? feeling what way? what the fuck is he thinking? he doesn't even know.

there's a big, hot, white ball of something within him — something wiry inside of his gut that cuts and scrapes at every edge inside his intestines. satoru doesn’t know what it is but he’s never felt this way before.

but he’ll go outside, and he’ll see shoko or wave to his classmates. he’ll hear the whispers float around in the halls, overshadowing the faint sound of soft laughs he used to hear when he’d bump hips with you when you would take your daily rounds — to help with the dreams you had, you said.

satoru gojo didn’t get nightmares, he just woke up with once again another weight on his shoulders the next morning, groggy with the idea of obligations that would only pile up on him. and although satoru never dared to dream when he was asleep ( nor did he know how to dream when he was awake ), he would only pretend to so that he could roam around at night in search of you.

and when he’d find your figure, shaky breaths escaping your lungs with disheveled hair and tear stained eyes — so beautifully illuminated by the celestial pearl in the sky, the only beacon of light suspended in velvet darkness. you’d look up at the moon, perhaps with a prayer in mind, as you’d only think about what to do next.

like always, he’d sneak up behind you. only this time, he wouldn’t startle you with a playful call of your name or tap your shoulder and be on the other side to confuse you. he’d merely slip behind you in silence, leaning against the railing of the open-view gap that’d let you view the outside of the high school. he’d feel you glance at him with a wobbly bottom lip, swollen from the chewing you’d had to do just to silence your cries.

satoru wouldn’t say anything. but you knew why he was there.

(or at least, why you thought he was there.)

your head would drop low with eyes screwed shut, and only satoru could hear the quaky breath you’d take as you’d try to compose yourself. azure eyes would rake across your figure with a furrowed brow, he never understood why you were so emotional — yet he’d lay a comforting hand on your back anyway. you’d savor the warmth of his palm with only more tears building up in your lashes.

he’s strong. he has to be — whether it’s for you, for suguru, for jujutsu society; doesn’t matter. that’s neither here nor there. for now, satoru will nurse the thought of your memory until it bleeds and stains the very bed he dreams of you in — knowing he’ll awake the next morning and jolt at your absence. he’ll then wash his face, hold his head high, and walk right back outside. the hurts only scabs over for the day before he opens it up again the same night.

ix. migration

“you— what?”

“i’m going to the states.”

geto’s lips quirk into a soft pout, one you’ve gotten accustomed to for the past few years.

“how come?” he asks softly, albeit you almost frown at his tone. a sound that had come to be so comforting — it tingles at your bones in small zaps and shivers. it makes you feel terrible, but you can’t help but indulge in the feeling.

“always wanted to go,” you shrug. your eyes glance to the girls’ bedroom; the two twins suguru had found in that small village that had come to be but a large pile of ash and dismay. hand still warm from tucking the two of them in, it fills you with bitter sweetness.

his eyes linger on your face — you can tell he doesn’t believe you because he always has this tell, where his lips will shift to the side momentarily as he presses them together, almost in thought. you’re not sure you believe yourself, either.

staying in japan does nothing for you but weigh you down with the slow, imminent guilt that swells your chest from the fact that you’re stuck here. of course, it wasn’t an involuntary choice to go with suguru — you felt you had no other choice but to escape the things you had seen at the place that had hurt you most.

although, you can’t help but think about the boy who’s hair lights up the room, who’s eyes can see right through you — it’s almost unsettling how much you remember the flecks of blue and detail within them, practically painting the sky in those colored irises. often times, you’ll lie awake at night; hands folded neatly over your chest as the external stimulus of the outside world provide you with a sense of security, realness.

the expensive eau de cologne of his lingers in your nose, the almost spice of the musk permanently altering your brain that’s only triggered when you walk past advertisers outside of the store trying to sell a similar scent.

you swear your eyes don’t water, even though no one’s presence is there but yours — so there’s really nothing to swear about. you just don’t want to seem like something you’re so foreign to; vulnerability. letting the tears flow down the curve of your cheekbones. you don’t wipe your eyes for it’s the only reminder you have left that that boy exists.

so the next morning, you’ll wake up. slumped over from the thing that eats at your bones, your cursed energy being the only thing you can feel running through you.

fingertips coated with the smallest bit of dust, the leather cover of the suitcase is practically unused save for the few times you’d use it when you’d be sent to the outskirts of japan for certain missions. you almost smile at the faint memories that cloud your brain around that time; shoko’s quiet laughs while utahime and you would whine at small inconveniences on the trip. stopping by certain food stalls that weren’t available in tokyo, trying new things — it makes you miss it.

but you know you can’t go back now.

you pretend not to notice the watery eyes of nanako and mimiko once they see you walking out of the door, nor do you notice suguru watching you walk out the door all the same; the robes clinging onto his figure disfiguring him into a man you no longer knew.

the soft smile that once lied on his young face now replaced by one of feigned amicability; like a customer service smile. you’ve known him over a decade and yet it seems like the two of you’ve only been roommate faintly acquainted with each other. it makes your heart thump a little harder.

you pretend not to feel the way your throat closes up as a single tear courses down your skin; leaving a residue that coats the linear path trickling down your cheek — this time, you wipe your eyes.

x. (not so) divine intervention

tongue sticking heavy in your mouth, any form of noise that you could’ve possibly made dying on your throat. your hands feel a surge of pressure through them, fingers twitching along as the gears in your head turn.

you look different, he takes note of. your hairs parted a little different, a few inches of extra length added on as well. a smile tugs at his lips; one full of mirth and almost jocularity. you look so clean, healthy — strong. there’s potential, he realizes, as he searches suguru’s memory bank of you; your face making a constant reoccurrence throughout his mind. the day you left, you cooking for the girls next to him, you lying next to him, your tears that night.

his half-smile only grows wider.

he cocks a brow before he holds his hand up in salutations. he says your name, but it’s not how he would usually say it. it’s almost raspier, lower. your lips press together as you examine him, your eyes keep flitting back up to his head — intricate stitches wrapping around the width of his forehead.

“hey,” geto looks you up and down. “shrimp.”

tilting your head up, you roll your eyes at the nickname before continuing to walk forward. you don’t know what you expected because he follows you anyway, hands clasped together under the warmth of the sleeves of his robes.

his soft footsteps easily match your quick ones, stern and at least trying to flee. you don’t wanna look at him, whether that’s because you know you’ll crumble or because you’re so upset, you don’t know. all you know is that you can’t look at him now. even when he observes the bustling streets of and makes passing comments about the citizens of tokyo.

“i wasn’t sure that you had gotten back — how come you didn’t find me?” he asks, and you know it’s only because he’s fishing.

you spare him a glance out of your peripheral. you frown softly, it doesn’t even look like suguru anymore. paler skin, thinner cheekbones, lips now a lighter shade of pink with small cracks lining them. an angry, irritated color begins to form around his forehead where the stitches lay, the thread sunken so deep in his skin that it makes your own head hurt at the probable tightness.

you quietly exhale, but you know he can hear the shaky breath that comes along with it. “didn’t know if you were busy.”

“you know i can always manage some time for you,” he smiles bittersweetly. tilting his head up, he looks up at the tall buildings that surround you, admiring the straying leaves falling from the trees. one floats down and makes its way onto your head — your eye twitches as he plucks its off your hair before holding it up to his view.

you take your time to look at it, too. it’s starting to brown with the oncoming seasonal change, an amorphous combination of a golden crisp and veranda green.

“i’ve been meaning to ask your help with something,” he doesn’t look at you, still trained on the leaf. “only if you’re ready to be my partner in crime, again." he smiles at you, one that seems more like suguru. it’s confident and teasing, and with the way he leans a little more forward brings you memories of his old demeanor back in high school, the way him and—

you pause, because for a moment, you swear you could’ve seen a glimpse of white hair behind him. it’s almost concerning how quickly your blood runs cold at the thought. it’s not out of dissent nor is it out of a manifest of obscureness to which you’ve rendered him to.

but once you hear geto speak of his name — it’s like you crumble all over again. your hands going soft and clammy, your chest surging with an almost sort of giddiness at the thought of him again. just like a wishful coin in a pond, it’s beautiful to know that there are still glimmers of this feeling. even this deep in.

“suguru?” you tilt your head back, meeting his relaxed gaze as he halts his movements.

“hm?”

“what are those?” you gesture to your own forehead, keeping your eyes locked on your head as you talk about the stitches on his own. you don’t get a reply.

after that, you don’t pay attention half-way through his explanation, stopping him again with a closer step forward as he talks about some sort of plan. really, the only thing you listen to is the small glimpses you hear of satoru’s name. he talks about something going on in shibuya, he talks about jujutsu high — and you would be lying if you said that the mention of the school didn’t make you a little sad.

you wonder what satoru’s doing, you wonder what shoko’s doing. hopefully, you’ll see them soon — even if it’s just in passing. you know nothing will be the same as it was before, but you can help but wonder what they’re doing now.

you won’t know her now — but as she puffs the remaining tobacco through the small opening of her swollen lips, shoko shakes her head and looks down at her pinky. she wonders if that promise had gone down the drain like you had. she swears she can feel the corners of her eyes dampen a little.

and you won’t know it either — but satoru can’t help but see you everywhere he looks. when he sees the first years walking back home from the mission, he trails behind them just to get the view of them lined up together; yuuji bumping hips with megumi while all he gets is a glare in return. nobara looks up on the sky and drags her feet out of boredom, spewing off mindless bits of chitchat about how she totally ‘did that’.

his neck will crane up to the horizon as his lips only recite your nothings. all he is sees is sunset, yet he’s scarred with the melancholy he carries. he’ll try to close his eyes, your hands coming up to his collarbones before you press down. until he’s bruised with incompetence; until his shame has configured the astronomical.

and satoru will smile, a slew of memories seeping back into the curves of his brain as he thinks back to those times of you — of suguru, shoko, nanami. he never stopped hurting that day, but he can’t help but smile at the sight of something begun anew.

oh well, satoru thinks — he can only wonder to what you’re doing now. something inside him hopes for a day where he’ll see you soon. he’ll wait for the day where he’ll see you soon.

𐙚 holy shit i did it

𐙚 comment to join taglist ; @kasumitenbaz @sad-darksoul @seternic @kalulakunundrum @2ukika @sugimvra

𐙚 requests are open — november thirteenth, 2024

[s7-evermore]

My Heart Stays With You | Leona Kingscholar x Mistress! Yuu/Reader

NOTE: Hey, so I can’t find the FUCKING fic I was talking about in this post and despite all my desperate searching I STILL can’t find it so I’m WRITING MY OWN VERSION OF IT until the author of that fic MESSAGES ME AND GOES “EYO DUDE WTF THAT IDEA WAS MINE” so I can search their blog and finally read the fucking story cuz istg I can’t focus on my schoolwork with that fic weighing on my mind like a curse that’s been placed on my family for 40 generations.

EDIT: someone in the comments lovingly told me who the author of the original one was and it was @/kiwibirdmother but all their posts disappeared so 🤡 fuck. LUCKILY tho I used the wayback internet thing and I managed to read them again :D if you guys want a link to it I’ll share thru dm cuz I’m too lazy to post something about it rn ejdkskxkskx

SYNOPSIS: Leona had been forced into an arranged marriage with a noblewoman, but he had already been in a relationship with Yuu. They loved each other too much, and both of them weren’t willing to let each other go. So in their own selfish ways, they stayed together despite the ring shining on his finger.

The two of them never thought it would get to this.

Leona had hoped that he would at least be able to make her his officially. All he needed to do was graduate and introduce her to his family, as reluctant as he was to let her into the royal life for the fear that she would have to carry the weight of it, he was far too selfish to let her go.

But Yuu didn’t mind at all. Just like him, she was far too selfish to let him go.

. . .

. . . .

. . .

When the news came to her that Leona had no choice but to push through with the arranged marriage, he rushed to her room in Ramshackle Dorm to hold her in his arms.

“Stay with me,” He begged that night, holding her in his arms with all the strength he could muster. “Please stay with me.”

It felt out of character for him to say those words with such strong emotion, but in the years they’ve been together, as she approached her fourth year in NRC, Leona slowly learned to lower his walls around her.

Only around her. Just her.

“Stay with me. I won’t do anything with her. I promise.”

“But…”

Hearing her strained voice and her choked sobs as she cried on his shoulder broke his heart. His heart… that he had given to her all those years ago when she accepted him with all of her being…

How unfair could the world get?

“I won’t. You’re the only one in my heart,” he stated firmly, a promise that he would hold himself to for the rest of his life.

“That stupid marriage is only for formalities. A political convenience. That woman and I don’t even have to do anything, and I don’t intend on giving myself to her. Not my love, not my mind, not my body.”

He looked into her eyes, furrowing his brows with intensity. When Yuu looked at them, she could feel the fierce heat of his love for her and his unyielding devotion.

She understood his place. He really had no say in the marriage, it had already been set in stone. Leona knew this well, and yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty… she had been so kind to him, so understanding…

“Yuu…” his voice was molten gold, and it seeped through the cracks of her heart.

“I love you. Only you. Please stay with me.”

“I will,” she said without hesitation.

He kissed her the moment she said those words, and a night of passion between them followed.

That wouldn’t be their last.

The night before his wedding, Leona drove to a villa some distance away from the palace.

It was distant from other residences and a little more solitary. Leona knew it would be perfect for Yuu, so he bought it immediately before anyone else could so she could live there with Grim after their graduation.

He knocked on the door, and it opened within a few seconds.

He felt his heart beating rapidly when he saw her face. For a moment, Leona felt at peace.

Yuu smiled, looking just as relieved, “You’re here…”

He moved to embrace her.

Ever since the arranged marriage, it was the first thing he would do whenever he visited her. An act of reassurance that he would forever be hers.

“I came just as I said I would,” He said.

“It’s tomorrow,” she quietly muttered.

“Will you go?”

“I promised I would.”

“It would hurt you…”

“It would hurt you just as much…” she said, her voice breaking, “I…I promised you that I would…always be there to comfort you…”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable any more than I already have,” he sighed. His woman was far too kind to him. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she tried to be a little petty.

“I think… I think it would make me more uncomfortable not seeing you, knowing that you would be with her…”

Leona knew that his brother was aware of his distaste for the marriage, but the will of their father, even as he lay sickly on his bed, had to be followed.

“Leona…”

He knew what that tone in her voice meant.

He looked down at her slightly, immediately noticing her half-lidded eyes and her sudden shy but sensual smile.

“Will you stay with me a little longer…?”

She didn’t even have to ask.

He pulled her to her bedroom. And there, they lost themselves into each other’s arms, wrapped up in the heat of their love.

. . .

. . . .

. . .

“Did you meet up with your friends?”

The question came to him as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. She had her head against his chest, his arm around her as he slowly traced shapes on her skin.

“Jack said that you asked him and Ruggie to escort me…” she said, recalling her meeting with her friends from NRC the past week.

Leona had taken it upon himself to invite some notable people from NRC, especially those he knew she would be close with. Most of them also knew of the relationship they kept going through with, as dangerous as it was.

Vil Schönheit had actually been the one to visit her first. He was invited as Leona’s acquaintance and former school “friend”, according to Leona himself. Vil was one of the few people who knew about their continuing relationship despite Leona’s arranged marriage, and out of respect for Yuu (who Vil was clearly fond of) agreed to keep it a secret.

Kalim and Jamil were invited as well, under the pretext of Kalim being the first son of House Asim and Jamil as his servant. When they came to her home, they reminisced on old times and agreed to keep in touch.

As she told him about their visits, she remembered another thing.

“I didn’t expect you to invite Malleus to the wedding…” she said.

“He’s your friend, isn’t he?”

“Yes but…”

Although she continued writing to malleus, as he was her cherished friend, she knew that the two of them hardly got along.

“A lotta random royals, nobles and celebrities are invited out of formality, so I thought that I might as well invite someone you’re familiar with. Kalim, Vil, Idia, and Malleus came to mind at first.”

He looked down at her as he stroked her hair, “I’m sure you’ll be fine with their company. If you’re around people like them then no one should be able to bother you. I made sure to tell them all to visit you before the wedding.”

Malleus didn’t come alone, of course. Lilia, Silver, and Sebek came there as the Briar Valley prince’s attendants.

Those four weren’t daft by any means. She knew that they had probably already figured out that they were keeping their relationship a secret from the public.

“Are you alright with this?” Sebek had asked her, his voice strangely reluctant and…soft.

“We both aren’t,” she admitted to him, “But this is… the only way we could live right now.”

Malleus sighed, lamenting how unfortunate your circumstances are.

“If you need a place to belong, let us know,” He told her. “Briar Valley will welcome you with open arms.”

“Thank you…” she smiled kindly at her friends, “But I belong with Leona.”

“Leona, congratulations on your wedding.”

Leona watched as Vil approached him with Yuu around his arm.

Vil turned to the bride with a practiced smile, “and to you as well, my lady.”

“Congratulations, both of you,” Yuu said with a smile that made Leona uncomfortable. He hated her fake smiles.

He hated this. He hated all of this.

“You truly are fortunate, Lady Aisha,” her words pierced his heart like a bullet. His hands were itching to hold her in his arms. “To be wed to Leona… well, it might not be easy but…”

Yuu met his eyes, something profound shining within them, mixed with hopelessness and pain.

“I’m sure…he’ll be a very wonderful lover.”

The bride noticed the look Leona was giving the human girl while pondering the meaning of her words. With a strained smile, clearly masking her irritation, Aisha intertwined her arms around Leona’s and smiled at her.

“Oh I am well aware of that,” she says with a sickeningly sweet smile, “he is always so good to me.”

Yuu didn’t mean to take her words too far, but despite the bitterness in Aisha’s words, she smiled like a flower in bloom, masking her pain like it was nothing.

“I wish you both happiness.”

. . . .

. . . . .

. . . .

“Kifaji.”

The royal family’s long-time aid turned around at the sharp call of Leona’s new bride. Her features were marred with irritation, unbefitting of the occasion.

“Yes, my lady?” He acknowledged her calmly, ready to take every complain she has.

“Who is that woman?”

Kifaji looked at where she was pointing only to see Leona chatting with Yuu.

The aid’s expression softened at the sight of them. Leona’s eyes were unguarded as he spoke to the young woman, seemingly taking in every word she was saying. Yuu, on the other hand, despite the occasion simply seemed happy to be in the presence of the second prince.

It was the same scene he had seen quite a few years ago, when Leona brought her along with some other schoolmates for Tamashina-Mina. She was a darling little thing— she was beautiful. She got along well with their friends and Leona cared about her more than he liked to admit. But it didn’t escape Kifaji’s eyes when he saw Leona buy her a gift. A necklace the same color as his eyes, just as she requested.

“You should have chosen one with your eye color instead.” He heard Leona say to her.

“No,” Yuu shakes her head, “I like the color of your eyes better.”

She was sweet and by no means a push-over. She knew how to keep Leona in place without being pushy, and it was clear to anyone that Leona favored her greatly.

Kifaji had…hoped that he got to see Leona happy with her.

If it hadn’t been for the arranged marriage that the two princes’ father wanted… then maybe… maybe then the second prince would finally smile for the rest of his days…

“That is Miss Yuu, a long-time friend of his Highness,” he told Aisha calmly. “Prince Leona is quite fond of her, as is Prince Cheka, please do get along with her.”

“They look too close to be friends,” she quipped.

Kifaji could only do what he could for the Prince he had taken care of…

“I would not worry about that,” he said, expression unchanging, “I am certain that they are only friends.”

The lady huffed before fixing her wedding garments and going back to the party, Kifaji could finally breathe.

It was 12 AM at midnight, just two hours after the wedding and the reception ended when she heard something park itself on her driveway.

Before she could get the chance to look out the window, someone immediately knocks on the door.

In a rush, she opens the door only to see the lion that had been plaguing her thoughts, feeding the shadows whispering in her mind.

Large arms wrapped themselves around her in a warm embrace.

“I drove here as soon as everyone was asleep.”

She returned his embrace, feeling the beat of his heart against hers.

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

“I can’t stand it. She was so annoying…” he buried his nose against her hair. “All she did was complain when all I did was nap on the bed.”

Lady Aisha must have gotten angry that Leona wouldn't touch her on their wedding night... She thought to herself. The thought of Leona sharing a bed with another woman made her heartache. She wanted to erase the image in her mind..

But she couldn’t do much now, can she? He was a married man now, but it wasn’t to her… no, it was to someone else.

However…

“Aren’t you gonna welcome me home?”

He will always return to her. Never touched and never kissed by anyone else but her.

She chuckles, looking up at him with pained eyes.

“It’s your wedding night, you know…? You could at least…”

“I told you, I ain’t touchin’ her.”

“You…you don’t have to… but it might make your family mad if you suddenly—“

He places a hand under her chin and forces her to look at him before stroking her cheek.

“I don’t care,” he says with finality. “I don’t care about that stupid wedding. I don’t care about her. I don’t care about any of them.”

His forehead touches hers, a tear escapes her eye.

“I care about us.”

And he kisses her with more love than he could ever give.

Another night passes, and Leona is once more entangled in Yuu’s arms.

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Edit: I MADE AN UPDATED ONE GO LOOK AT THAT ONE IT'S BETTER I CITED MY SOURCES AND SHOWED MY WORK AND EVERYTHING

Ladies and Gentlemen, Bitches and Bastards, Witches and Wizards, Mothers and Fuckers. Esteemed robot enjoyers, I present to you a semi-accurate height comparison of Bumblebee across the multiverse (as of July 2024). This really helps visualize the truly staggering differences between universes, at least height-wise. Also, three of these characters are Canonically the Same Guy; guess which ones.

I spent way too much time on the chart in the back it's not even funny. I will probably make more height charts for more TF characters and universes in the future. Don't expect it soon though, because when I make these, I am fueled by pure I-Got-Bored-At-Work-And-I-Have-Decided-To-Fool-Around-With-Robot-PNGs, and that fuel supply is inconsistent at best.

Hey Fun Fact, Did you know that Generation 1 Optimus Prime is around 19 Feet Tall? Bet some of you already knew that. I have no ulterior motives for bringing this fact up, what are you talking about.

My height explanations are below the cut, because you couldn't shut me up if you tried.

In an order:

Gen 1 - ~10 feet (the wiki says greater than 3 meters so I rounded up to the first whole number because round)

Netflix Cybertron Trilogy - ~10 feet (He looks identical to Gen 1 so... the reason his photo looks weird is because I couldn't find a good full body photo with him standing straight up facing the camera so I put two images together to make the worst looking photoshop job you have ever seen)

Earth Spark - 10 feet (There is no confirmed height yet but using a screen shot of him standing in front of a barn door I was able to make a reasonable guess.)

Animated - 12 feet (I have no genuine source for this, I think this info is just someone's guesstimate, but it seems reasonable. He's a tiny two door mini car, how big could he be)

New Live Action - 15 feet (The wiki hath declared. Also do we have a name for this universe because we need one I don't want to keep saying like 6 words to differentiate this one from bayverse)

Bayverse V1 - 16 feet (This is like the first 3 movies minimum, I don't remember when he hits his growth spurt. also wiki my love)

Cyberverse - 18 feet (I'm gonna be honest, the only info we have is from a really shitty screen shot of a magazine. SO if any one has a copy of this book from the video below, a high quality scan would be greatly appreciated and I will kiss the ground you walk upon. Yes I found the video where the screen shot comes from leave me alone)

Bayverse V2 - 18 feet (movie 4-5 I can't remember which one, I'm not re-looking this up. I fucking love the bayverse tho, this is the only universe with concrete and consistent this-character-is-this-height info)

Aligned Cont. WF/FOC - 20 feet (video game info screens you god send, kiss me sweetly)

Aligned Cont. TFP/RID15 - 21 feet (I do not know exactly where these numbers were found, but I fully fucking believe them. Just by looking at these characters on the show I can verify these numbers in my mind. They made specifically this universe to be full of freakishly tall robots for some fucking reason.)

And for any one who doesn't know, the three tallest are the same guy. Like the 20 feet tall one and the 21 feet tall ones, same guy. The ones in three wildly different art styles and designs. Let that sink in...

I fucking hate the aligned continuity why is that one my favorite.

[tojisbbg]

𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚

❝call out my name when i kiss you so gently.❞  

♡ uzui tengen ♡ 

a/n: first demon slayer piece!! i picked up the anime after a long time and i forgot how horrendously down bad i was for this man. 

a/n (cont.): also! my apologies if tengen’s a bit out of character, i tried my best lol. this writing piece is very long because i don’t believe in porn without plot, i need plot and context. word count is stated below!

word count: 12.2k

content: uzui tengen x fem!reader, tengen isn’t married, reader is one of the hashiras, enemies to lovers, minor plot (if you squint), spoilers (sorry), lots of teasing and bickering, smut smut smut!!, all acts are consensual, not edited for grammatical errors.

...

“god, i hate these uniforms.” you groaned in annoyance, shuddering as the soft skin of mitsuri’s fingers grazed your chest while she helped you button up. the girl giggled at your daily complaint. 

it was true, you truly hated these god awful uniforms that were provided to you by the demon slayer corps. the shirts were so tight, you’d think that the manufacturers forgot how human anatomy works and that everyone’s body isn’t the same. 

needless to say, the shirt didn’t fit your chest, so you’d had to go with the mitsuri-style of wearing your uniform. 

“hm, well, now whose fault is it for having these huge tits?” she shamelessly asked, poking your boobs jokingly, which made your cheeks burn. 

“hey! it’s not like i personally asked the gods to give me them. besides, you have them too!” you defended, averting from her teasing eyes. 

“yeah, but i’m proud of having these babies. anyways, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. they sit so nice and pretty, if i was a guy, i think i would purposely hug you face first on your chest.” mitsuri smirked, making you gasp as you playfully landed a smack on her upper arm. 

“mitsuri! geez, you’re such a little perv.” you said as you squished her cheeks, making her laugh as the sound was contagious enough to make you crack a smile.  

you love mitsuri with all your heart, she’s the ball of sunshine in your life that you needed. you’ve been a hashira for about two years now and she was your first friend and now your best friend. 

it’s important to mention that you were very disliked in the demon slayer corps at first. the other hashiras, such as sanemi, obanai and giyuu didn’t speak to you for months because you were taken in for a hashira position so quickly. 

less than a week to be exact. 

the amount of skill that you have is almost inhumane and was never seen before. you were given the position without any prior training or requirements. 

after all, you took an upper moon down by yourself, which was pretty impressive for a first timer who claims to have no experience. 

nonetheless, mitsuri and rengoku were your only friends. you have a huge soft spot for both of them, but after the incident that occurred in the mugen train, both you and mitsuri went down a pretty dark path. 

but, you made sure to comfort her as much as she did to you. you both have each other and you swore to protect her just like how she did to you. 

you both were platonic soulmates without a doubt. 

“y/n!” you heard tanjiro’s voice behind you, making both you and mitsuri turn around. 

“oh, ‘jiro!” you flashed him a smile as you waved at the redhead. 

“the crow spoke to me this morning, we got assigned a new mission.” he said eagerly, panting a little, which indicated that he probably ran around in circles to find you. you hummed in response, ruffling his hair. 

“ah, so you’re with me. inosuke and zenitsu are on it too, i assume?” you questioned, accepting the cup of green tea that mitsuri handed you as you took a sip. 

“yup, and also mr. tengen.” tanjiro nodded with a nervous smile. you choked on your tea, coughing as mitsuri patted your back. 

“what?! why is he coming??” you yelled, making tanjiro’s eyes widen as he gulped. 

“u-uhm, it’s ‘cause i heard that we’re fighting an upper rank six. the more help we get, the better.” he tried to calm you down, but the information he relayed only angered you further. 

“huh?! do those shitty higher ups think that i can’t kill an upper moon myself without that cocky bitch?!” you raised your voice, eyes glaring in the distance as tanjiro gasped. 

“n-no! y/n, you got it all wrong! i di-”

“i’m gonna have a word with those stupid hags.” you spat out angrily, marching off before you felt tanjiro wrap himself behind you in an attempt to halt your movements. 

“let go, tanjiro. i’m not going on a mission with that stupid freak.” you tried to desperately peel yourself away from his hold, but tanjiro’s hold was tight. 

“please, y/n! why don’t you understand that this is not the time for your pride or his pride to get in the way. inosuke and zenitsu already suffered from minor injuries because mr. tengen lashed out from hearing about you joining the mission.” tanjiro informed, making you scoff. 

“that arrogant little shit. i’m gonna kill him for sure now!” you exclaimed, making tanjiro cry out as he begged mitsuri to help him cage you inside the room. 

“y/n! please, just listen! after losing one of the hashiras already, we need to be sure that we don’t lose another. i don’t want to lose you or mr. tengen. so, please, just try to get along with him or you can just stay with me and the other two.” he suggested, and as much as you hated the idea of being stuck with tengen, you adored tanjiro like a little brother and saying ‘no’ to him was pretty hard. you let out a heavy sigh in defeat.

“fine, but if he pisses me off, i’m gonna slice his throat with my blade.” you threatened, making tanjiro’s face turn pale as he let out a nervous laugh. 

“everything will be fine, y/n. don’t worry.” tanjiro assured, but you didn’t pay mind to his words because it will go down like how it usually does when you get placed together with tengen. 

with you both at each other's neck, of course.

“hmm, i think you secretly like tengen, y/n.” mitsuri flashed you a mischievous grin, making your jaw drop to the ground. 

“did you not hear about me wanting to execute his murder literally a few minutes ago?” you asked in disbelief, wondering if your best friend was okay in the head. however, the two-toned hair colored woman simply laughed at your words. 

“you both quarrel like an old married couple.” she giggled, making you let out a fake gag in response.

“disgusting, i’d rather marry obanai’s snake than him.” you retorted, making mitsuri gasp from your obnoxious words. 

“you’re crazy!” mitsuri looked at you with wide eyes. 

“no, you’re crazy for even thinking that i wanna even breathe the same air as that shithead!” you sneered, making mitsuri scoff. 

“don’t be silly, he’s totally your type. you told me that you like tall guys, more on the muscular side, extroverted to fit your opposite personality and someone who’s very sexy.” she smirked, watching how a deep blush tinted your cheeks as your lips twitched, trying to formulate words to defend yourself. 

“i was not referring to him!” you quickly blurted out, walking ahead as you wanted to leave the conversation. 

“mhm, whatever helps you sleep at night.” mitsuri said as she ran up to you, linking her arm with yours as you rolled your eyes. 

“shut up, i don’t like tengen. he’s an arrogant jackass that pisses me off.” you grumbled under your breath. 

“i’m a what now, princess?” you suddenly heard a deep voice coming from behind you, making you yelp from how startled you were. 

“what the fuck is wrong with you?! can’t you let your presence be known, creep.” you glared at him, mitsuri happily greeting the giant as you ignored his presence. 

“creep? no, no, no. you must be mistaken. i am the god of festivals, the flashiest being on the planet, and the best of the best!! i also happen to have very good ears to hear a certain little rat talk ill of my superior being.” tengen cockily gave his speech, making you groan in irritation. 

“spit out one more word and i swear i’m gonna rip your tongue out.” you threatened in a low voice, to which didn’t scare the 6′6ft man, as he only gave you a chuckle in response to mock your attempt of being intimidating. 

“what was that? i couldn’t quite hear you from down there. it just sounds like squeak squeak squeak i’m stupid squeak squeak lord tengen is the best squeak squeak!” he said in a very obnoxious and annoying fake high-pitched voice, making your blood boil as you turned around to face him. 

“you little shit!” you yelled, before lunging at him and jumping to cling on his very inconveniently tall body. your actions caught tengen by surprise, quickly placing an arm on your hips to make sure that you don’t fall on your ass. 

“i said that i’m gonna kill you if you don’t shut up, uzui tengen!!” you said in a louder voice, closer to his face as you harshly pinched his cheeks. 

“ouch, ouch! it hurts, y/n!!” tengen whined, trying his best to release himself from your deathly grip. 

“good, that was the whole point.” you grinned in satisfaction, sticking your tongue out at him. 

“look at you being so close to my face and with your tongue out too. you wanna french kiss me that bad, princess?” tengen teased, making you immediately pull your hands and face back to create distance between you both, your face scrunching up in disgust. 

“as i said before, i’d rather kiss kaburamaru than you, freak!” you quickly defend, trying to slip away from his embrace, but tengen only tightened his hold on you. 

“hmm, i don’t think i’ll let you goo~.” he sang out, making you cry out to your friends to help you escape the beefy man’s hold. 

“they’re definitely in love, right tanjiro?” mitsuri asked the boy who was standing next to her and witnessing the entire thing. 

“oh, for sure. i’m a strong shipper of y/n x mr. tengen.” tanjiro responded, making mitsuri squeal. 

“oh my, me too!! let’s start our little club and play cupid with them.” she eagerly suggested, making tanjiro laugh and nod. 

you were finally able to peel yourself away from tengen, which was not as easy done as said, but you somehow did it. you threw a sharp glare at tanjiro and mitsuri who were giggling at god knows what while you just battled death. you stomped over to them before crossing your arms over your chest. 

“you traitors.” you spat out, making the both of them grow silent as they side eyed each other, trying to contain their laughter. 

“sorry, y/n, but tengen is strong for us too. we wouldn’t be much of a help.” mitsuri said, which was a total lie that both you and her knew, but you were too tired to argue. 

“ugh, whatever. ‘jiro, get inosuke and zenitsu to meet up with us in front of the gates. it’s almost sunset, so we should start moving.” you instructed the scar-faced boy, making him nod as he obliged. 

you turned around, about to walk off, only to be spun back around before getting pulled into a bone crushing hug. you let out a heavy sigh, already knowing the words that would come towards you now. 

“hey!! you jerk, don’t just walk off without telling me goodbye. tch, you better come back to me in one piece, alright? i have to braid your hair tonight, so you must come back. i know i tell you this before every mission, but i really love you, y/n. you’re my best friend, and i can’t lose you. so, don’t be stubborn. if you need help, then ask the others, okay idiot?” mitsuri softly spoke, her squeeze on you tightening with every word. 

your heart melted as you returned her hug, a smile forming on your lips. no one in this entire universe would be able to describe the bond that you both had as it ran too deep to even measure. 

“i love you too, mitsuri. how can i leave you when i still have to attend your and obanai’s wedding, hm? i’ll be back home tonight, in one piece, i promise.” you assured her, looking into her gentle green eyes that held so much adoration for you. 

she was the love hashira after all. 

“i know you will, y/n. you’re a strong little thing and i believe in you.” she gave you a warm smile before you both pulled away. 

both you and tengen waved mitsuri goodbye before taking off. needless to say, tengen’s serious mode is quite enjoyable because he finally shuts up. 

---

“yeah? well, maybe if you weren’t such a manwhore, then you’d probably have a wife right now.”

“are you jealous that i can pull bitches and that you can’t?”

“i could have a whole harem full of men if i wanted to.”

“but would they offer to be your husband?”

“...”

“then we’re equals!”

“i would never want to be your equal, that’s just me disrespecting myself.”

“excuse me?! i am the god of fe-”

tengen was rudely cutt-off midway his sentence as the ceiling broke down, his hands instinctively pulling you towards him as your back collided with his hard chest. there were multiple screams coming from everywhere as the commoners looked horrified. 

“huh, i guess finding our little friend tonight wasn’t as hard as we thought.” you sneered, walking further in to find the source of all of this commotion. 

your eyes widened as you saw tanjiro on the ground struggling to tame nezuko who was in her full demon form. however, tegen seemed more surprised than you because this was his first time witnessing it. 

“damn, what a flashy way to demonize your sister.” tengen said in awe as the poor girl was out of her mind and clawing at the air. 

“holy shit, then we’ve come pretty late. you look very beat up, ‘jiro.” you said with apologetic eyes, taking note of how tired he looked as he panted and was covered in some blood. 

“yeah, the demon’s pretty strong. she- nezuko please! just go to sleep!” tanjiro begged, tears pooling in his eyes as you felt useless since you had no solution for him. 

“take her outside in a safe place and try to think of something that would bring her mind back to something that is close to her. maybe like a song or tune that your mother used to sing. we got this from here.” you gave him a small smile, making him nod his head as he quickly grabbed a hold of nezuko before leaving. 

“hey!! why aren’t you guys paying attention to me!” you heard a high-pitched voice yell, making both your and tengen’s head turn. 

“god, your voice is so annoying, it nearly made my ears bleed.” you grimaced, taking a look at the female in front of you. it was the demon that tanjiro was talking about, but she looked so... weak?

“huh?! you dare to say that to me, you ugly looking shit!” she angrily remarked, making you giggle. 

“of course, if i were you, i wouldn’t even need a demon slayer to kill me. i’d just kill myself if i had such a hideous voice like that.” you shrugged, making tengen let out a muffled chuckle as he tried to hide it behind his palms. 

“you fools, you may be hashiras, but i’m one of the strongest demons out there. i’m one of the upper moons, ranked in number six. the name’s daki, so don’t forget it when you’re on your last breath by the end of this battle.” daki smirked, but both you and tengen exchanged an expression of amusement. 

“what? there’s no way you’re an upper moon six. you’re so weak and unskilled, i could end you in two seconds.” tengen scoffed, making daki’s eyes widen at the insult as she gritted her teeth. 

“the fuck did you just say to me, you meat sack?!” she snarked. 

“what a pity. not only is your voice ugly and you’re weak, but you’re dumb too! jeez, that’s just foul. here, would you like to take my katana and just end your sad little life on your own before we do?” you pulled out your katana and offered it in a way to taunt her. daki’s eyes twitched at your words as she ran at you, only to have her head laying on her lap in just seconds. 

“h-huh? did you just cut my head off?! it’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair!! you both are so mean to me and this is just bullying!” daki cried, making you confused as you looked at tengen who looked equally as lost as you were. 

“is this some kind of a joke? there’s no way she’s throwing a tantrum right now.” tengen chuckled in disbelief. 

“what a child.”

“i know, right? her parents must’ve been so fed up with her. she’s so not flashy at all.”

“ugh, and she has white hair like you, so she’s automatically ugly.”

“excuse me?! do not compare me to that thing. i’ll dye my hair to black then with mitsuri’s dye.”

“you both deserve to die for ganging up on me like this! big brother i need your help!” she suddely called out, and you gasped as you saw another demon emerge from her body. 

“holy shit-” you were struck, not even being able to form proper sentences. 

“oh? how interesting. the fun has just begun.” tengen smirked, his hands gripping the shaft of his katanas. 

this was going to be a long battle. 

---

“you stupid bitch! you have some nerve to insult my looks when you look like you were picked up from the trash. i’m a beauty icon!” daki cackled, watching you struggle to sit back up after forcefully thowing you across the building with her belt. 

you groaned in ache as it felt like your bones were nearly shattered to pieces. you lost sight of tengen, assuming that he was probably handling the brother. you heard the clacks of her heels grow closer and you knew that if you didn’t get back up on your feet soon, things won’t be good. 

so, you focused on your breathing to heal. 

“beauty icon? don’t make me laugh. you look like the fat shit that i took earlier in the morning. actually, no. you don’t even deserve to be compared with my shit.” you frantically laughed at her, watching her ball her fists, grinding her teeth at your words. 

“that’s it, i’ve had enough of you. it’s time to put an end to you right now.” she maliciously smirked, her belt coming towards you to wrap around your figure, only for her to lose sight of you. 

“huh?” she looked around in confusion. 

“too slow.” you scoffed, holding your katana tightly before beginning to slice her belts. being partnered up with tengen on missions and training allowed you to adopt some of his notable skills. one of them being to move very fast to the point where it almost seemed like you were teleporting. a blue flame began to wrap around her belts, burning them to crisps as daki bellowed in pain. 

“you burned my belts!” fat tears began to roll down her cheeks as she fell on her knees, gasping and crying out in pain. 

“i wish i could hold even an ounce of sympathy for you, but sadly i don’t.” you coldly said before harshly landing a clean slice on her neck, making her decapitated head fly far from her body. 

a sigh of relief left your lips, but you let your guard down way too soon. forgetting how demons work, it slipped out of your mind that even though her head was cut off, her body was still functioning. 

you both were still on the roof of a very tall building and you didn’t notice when daki’s body came behind you as you were now pushed off. your eyes widened in horror as you felt yourself lose balance, feet slipping of the edge as you didn’t have the opportunity to grab something. 

you screwed your eyes tight, waiting for the impact of the cold soiled ground to come into a harsh contact with your already weak and aching body. however, that never happened as a strong pair of arms caught you, your eyes opening to see tengen look down at you with a playful smile. 

“you just can’t do anything without my help, can you?” tengen narrowed his eyes. 

“tch, i didn’t even ask for your help.” you rolled your eyes, yet you were still thankful for him saving your life. 

“ugh, this is why you’re not very flamboyant, y/n.” he let out a dramatic sigh before completely dropping his hands to the side without warning, making you crash on the ground with a yelp. 

“you absolute shithead!” you yelled at him, groaning in pain as you shot him a glare. 

you glanced up to the roof to see that daki’s body was now laying hopelessly, and you know that you should probably go look for her head, but you were too tired and pained to even move. 

“did you take care of the crybaby?” tengen asked, referring to daki. 

“kinda.” you replied, a hint of embarrassment in your tone. 

“kinda? what do you mean?” he furrowed his very thin white eyebrows. 

“i managed to slice off her head but i let my guard down too soon. so, i don’t know where her head went and her body is pretty beat up but could still function.” you informed him, watching tengen’s face turn into one of disappointment. 

“you’re not that careless to mess up like that, y/n. i’ve sliced her head off almost twenty times, so you know that’s not an effective method to kill her.” he nagged at you, making you feel slightly irritated. 

“you think i don’t know that, genius? my body can barely stand and i’m losing so much blood that i feel like i can pass out any moment.” you tried to reason with him, only for him to scoff. 

“if you can’t handle a little bit of blood loss and body ache then why are you a hashira? this shouldn’t be new to you, y/n.” tengen’s words felt like a jab at your pride with every word that he spoke. 

“i made a mistake, okay?! i can’t do anything about it!” you spoke through gritted teeth. 

“yeah? well, it was a very stupid mistake that only brainless people make!” he yelled back at you before giving you a glare. your jaw dropped, unable to even form words to defend yourself. 

he was right, it was a very stupid mistake. 

tengen almost immediately regretted his words, but it was too late to take it back now. he saw how you grew quiet, eyes planted on the ground as he watched you slowly slide back to lean against the wall. he wanted to say something, but would soon be interrupted by gyutaro, who has found him once again. 

even keeping your eyes open at this point was draining. your head throbbed and your body felt completely numb. you had no clue where daki’s head went and you didn’t know where tanjiro was either. 

you felt your eyelids growing heavier and before you knew it, you passed out. 

---

“y/n! y/n! wake up, please! y/n!” you heard a voice desparately call out for you, your body being shaken back and forth. you slowly opened your eyes, vision still slightly a little blurry as you were able to make out some fuzzy burgundy and green bits on the figure. 

“tanjiro?” your voice came out as a whisper. 

“yes, it’s me, y/n. are you okay?” tanjiro softly asked, helped you sit up straight as you grimaced in pain. 

“i’ve been better.” you tried to laugh it off, but it even hurt to laugh. 

“mr. tengen and i managed to weaken the brother, but it’s not enough to kill him. we’re just buying some time to recover ourselves.” he said, gulping harshly and you could sense the fear in his voice. 

“hey, we’re not gonna die, okay? help me stand up so that i could go over to that airhead over there.” you pointed a shaky finger at tengen who was panting in the distance while gyutaro’s body was at a farther distance. 

tanjiro helped you up and held onto you as you walked over to where tengen stood. you could see how fatigued he was, the poison that was injected into his body earlier began to spread. he was so out of it, that he didn’t know that gyutaro was creeping behind him, claws out with the intent to chop a limb off. 

both you and tanjiro began to yell his name, but tengen was too distracted to even hear you both. you quickly got out of tanjiro’s hold, sprinting towards the weak man with whatever energy that you had left in your body, throwing yourself onto him. you both came crashing to the ground, rolling off to the side and dodging the attack. 

“y/n?” tengen called out your name in surprise. 

“this is me paying off my debt to you for saving me earlier.” you quickly muttered, before standing up as you pulled out your katana. 

“missed me?” you heard the familair high pitched voice coming from behind. your head turned around to see daki, full recovered before she took one of her belts and wrapped it around you. 

gyutaro took this an an opportunity to get back to the unfinished business him and tengen had. 

tanjiro quickly sliced through the belt to release you. as far as you know, inosuke has been taken down by daki as he was now trying to recover the severe wound he got. you don’t know where zenitsu went. 

“tanjiro, go help tengen fight the brother. i don’t think he’ll be able to hang on by himself for long.” you quickly directed him, but tanjiro seemed conflicted. 

“but, what about you, y/n?” tanjiro asked with concern washing over his face. you thinned your lips, only to have some hope in your eyes as you saw a sleeping zenitsu creeping up behind daki. 

“zenitsu and i got it from here.” you gave him a small smirk. 

---

it was finally over.

both daki and gyutaro were taken down. you laid on the ground, feeling like your heart was going to explode any moment from how irregular your breathing was. there was a huge blast, landing you at a distance and you had no idea where zenitsu was.

all you knew was that the demons were taken down. you saw tanjiro running off to somewhere, along the lines of saying how he won’t be at peace until he found both of their heads. 

as bad as it sounded, you had no energy left inside you to care. you felt like a dead corpse. you’ve fought many upper ranked demons before, you even took some very powerful demons down on your own, but this by far was the one that nearly knocked you off. 

it was because there was two to deal with, double the trouble. 

you’ve been laying on the ground for god knows how long, probably fifteen minutes or so. you tried to control your breathing, trying to envision every single blood vessel within you to deal with the aches and wounds that you had. 

from what you know so far, everyone was still alive to some extent that can be taken care of. other members of the corps were on their way, such as kakushis and obanai was said to be on his way as well. 

although, the serpent pillar was taking his sweet lovely time. 

after some time, you finally felt your body somehow become a little more alive. so, you tried to slowly stand up, knees still slightly a little wobbly but you regained your balance. you walked, well more like limped, around the area as your eyes scanned for tengen. 

finding him didn’t take very long as you saw him resting on a pile of rubble. you scoffed, walking to him before crouching down as he glanced at you weakly. 

“you look like shit.” you blurted out, making him chuckle at you usual sharp tongue. 

“thanks, you look even shittier.” tengen replied, his words having a little lisp added to them but you didn’t pay too much mind to it. 

there was a thick silence that was placed between you too, the only sound that could be heard was the heavy breathing that was coming from tengen. 

“you alright?” you asked in a gentle voice.

“could’ve been better, although, i don’t think i can hang on much longer.” he gave you a sad smile, making your heart drop to your stomach. 

“w-what do you mean?” you stammered, gulping down the lump that formed in your throat. 

“the poison he injected inside me is way too strong for my body to fight against it.” tengen let out a pained groan, making you rush to his side as you examined his body. nearly all of the skin he had exposed right now was purple from the poison and worry took over your mind. 

“stop talking like that, you idiot. you’re gonna be fine, you hear me? the kakushis are on their way and they’ll have an antidote to reverse this. you’ll be okay.” you said with soft eyes, grabbing a hold of his cold hands to provide some warmth to him. tengen hummed is slight amusement. 

“oh? do i see the cold-hearted y/n being mushy for the great god of festivals?” he teased, and you couldn’t help but laugh at how unhinged he can be sometimes, even when he’s nearly on the brink of death. 

“unfortunately, yes. you get on my nerves a lot and you’re a complete idiot, but i need you to stay alive and continue doing that. i need you to keep bothering me and making me wanna strangle you. so, you can’t die on me, okay?” you gave his hands a gentle squeeze, making him gaze at your face. 

in tengen’s point of view, you looked so beautiful, even though you were covered in blood, scars and dust. he noticed the scar on your cheek, which you got from gyutaro when you saved tengen from losing his arm. 

“does it hurt a lot?” tengen asked, a weak finger coming up to lightly graze the scar on your cheek. 

“not so much.” you winced a little after feeling his touch. 

“i’m sorry.” he suddenly apologized, making your breath hitch. 

“it’s okay, it was just a defense inst-”

“no, not for that. i mean, i’m sorry for the scar too. but mainly for what i said earlier to you.” tengen’s voice was laced with guilt as you tried to think back to what he was talking about earlier. 

oh. 

you realized what he was referring to. 

“it’s fine, don’t worry about it. in one way, you weren’t wrong about it.” you admitted as you shrugged your shoulders. tengen shook his head before opening his mouth to speak. 

“no, i was in the wrong. i was so angry and frustrated at myself for not being able to take down either of them that i lashed out on you. i know it was a mistake, but i used it as something to attack you with. so, for that i’m sorry.” he sincerely apologized, and you knew that there was not even a speck of bullshit in his words. 

“we’re okay, tengen.” you offered him a comforting smile before stroking his messy white locks which came undone from his ponytail. 

tengen could feel the poison slowly making his heartbeat irregular, from erratic to dangerously slow, his vision was growing fuzzy and his tongue was getting stiff. 

“i need to let my last words out, so hear me out, please.” tengen requested and your heart shattered to a million pieces. 

“stop talking crazy! you’ll be fine.” you panicked, feeling useless and desparate as your eyes scanned for any source of help. 

“you’re an amazing hashira, y/n. i mean, being able to climb into these ranks and this position in less than a week without any prior training is beyong impressive. i’ve always admired and respected you. you’re very flashy and flamboyant.” he gave you a wide smile, making your heartbeat increase as his words flustered you. 

“i think he injected you with too much poison, ‘cause you’re out of your mind.” you giggled, trying to lighten the mood, which worked as the weak male in front of you laughed. 

“there’s something else i’ve been wanting to tell you too, y/n.” he cleared his throat, making all your attention go to him. 

“hm?” you hummed. 

“i l-”

suddenly, his words came to a halt. his expression pained as he slouched back, his mouth closed. 

“tengen? tengen! oh god, what the fuck is taking them so long to come?” you yelled in frustration and fear as you stood up and started to call for help in every corner, but it was futile. 

you came back to where tengen sat, sitting on your knees as you gently cupped his face. you saw how his eyelids fought to keep open, tears welling in your eyes. 

“don’t try to speak, just focus on your breathing, okay? y-you’ll be fine.” you stuttered towards the end, your voice breaking as you let your tears fall. tengen’s eyes softened upon seeing you cry, bringing a shaky hand to wipe your tears away as he shook his head, an attempt to tell you to not cry. 

you heard rushed footsteps coming from behind you, turning around quickly to see the kakushis hurrying to your side. you moved over a little, allowing them to take a look at tengen. 

“he’s been poisoned and it’s really bad. give him a strong antidote, please.” you begged, watching them nod at your words as one of them dug into the medical kit to pull out a small bottle before handing it to you. 

you opened it before placing the bottle near his lips, as tengen obliged and drank the medicine. 

“this is the strongest antidote that we have access to. it works almost immediately.” one of the kakushis informed you. 

but nearly five minutes has passed and nothing has improved about tengen’s condition, it only seems to have gotten worse. 

“it’s not working. do you think maybe a second dose would work then?” you asked, eyes pleading for any kind of solution that could reverse this mess and put your heart at ease. 

“miss. y/n, there’s no other option. i don’t think-”

“no! no, you can’t say that!” you cried, looking over at tengen who tried his best to keep a small smile whenever you looked at him. you chewed on your lips, knowing that he was trying to mask away his pain to make you feel less shitty. 

you couldn’t help but throw yourself on him, straddling his lap as you shoved your head in the crook of his neck. you started to sob, it sounded really loud and ugly, but you didn’t care.

you don’t want to lose him. 

“you can’t die, tengen! this is not how you’re supposed to go, you little shit. being killed by poison is not a flashy nor flamboyant death that is fit for the great god of festivals. please, don’t leave me.” your tears began to wet his clothes and the flesh of his neck and shoulder. 

tengen’s heart clenched in pain as he heard your broken cries and pleas. he wishes that he could speak and comfort you, even if his words would’ve been a bunch of lies. but, sadly he couldn’t do anything other than trying his best to embrace you as tightly as he could. 

you were so busy crying and sobbing as you begged tengen to not die, followed by a bunch of empty threats darted to him, you didn’t realize when nezuko and tanjiro arrived. 

nezuko gently placed her hand on tengen’s bicep and he felt the small touch, glancing down to see the smaller figure giving him hopeful eyes. then, both your and tengen’s body was place in a huge pink flame. 

you were still unaware of all of this going down, not even bothering to pull away from tengen even for a second. although, you felt your body temperature slightly rising and it was almost as if your body aches were magically going away. 

“jeez, i thought that demon was a crybaby, but surely you’ve taken over that title, princess.” you heard tengen speaking normally, feeling the vibration of his chest as he let out a chuckle. 

you quickly pulled away from the hug to look at him, your face teary and eyes glossy with tears. you quickly scanned him and noticed that the trace of poision was gone as his flesh returned to its normal color. 

and, his lips drew a shit eating grin.

“you idiot!” you scolded him before tightly wrapping your arms around him as you hugged him, trying to be as close to him as possible as your heart was slowly being put to ease. 

“you’re alive and okay.” you said, which was slightly muffled. tengen hummed in response, arms tightly wrapped around your waist. 

“can’t leave you now, can i?” he said, comfortingly stroking your back to calm you down. 

“i’m glad that you two are okay. we both checked up on inosuke and zenitsu, too. they’re both doing good as well, the kakushis are treating them.” tanjiro assured with a smile, making tengen reciprocate. 

you pulled away to look at nezuko who was sitting next to you and tengen. tanjiro came closer before ruffling her hair. 

“nezuko’s blood demon art includes healing powers. although, you both shouldn’t move too much as it might make the wounds worse.” tanjiro advised, and both you and tengen nodded. 

“thank you, tanjiro and nezuko. you both saved my life and no action of mine can ever repay you for what you guys have done.” tengen graciously thanked them, and both siblings offered him a smile. 

“thanks, nezuko.” you gave her a big smile, holding your arms out so that the little girl could come into your embrace. you gave her a gentle squeeze before placing a kiss on her forehead. 

“and thank you, ‘jiro. you’re always looking out for us.” you ruffled tanjiro’s hair, he looked more than just beat up, giving you a smile as his tired eyes tried its best to stay awake. 

“now, let’s all return home in the most flashiest way possible!” tengen’s loud voice boomed, making everyone cheer. 

---

you sighed in bliss, stepping out of the huge shower as you dried yourself. you hummed a small melody, feeling refreshed to wash away all that blood and gunk with a warm shower. you wrapped your hair in a towel and your body in a robe before exiting the bathroom. 

you nearly let out a blood curdling scream when you saw someone laying on your bed. after realizing that the person in question is none other than your best friend, mitsuri, you calmed down your elevated heartbeat. 

you forgot that she’s the only one who knew your password combination. 

“holy shit, you nearly put me in a heart attack just now.” you placed a hand over your heart, closing the bathroom door behind you before shuffling over to the bed where mitsuri now sat up. 

she wore a facial expression which made you grow worried. usually, she’s never this quiet and is all smiles and giggles. but, her lips are frowning and you could see her eyes swelling with tears. 

“mitsuri? what’s wr-”

you were cut off by her jumping on you as you let out a yelp. she sobbed on your chest as she tried to say something to you, but all her words were incoherent and muffled. 

you patted her back and stroked her hair to calm her down, feeling her arms tightening around your waist as if she was afraid that she was gonna lose you. 

“i-i was so scared, y/n! when the order came for the assistance of another hashira because you and tengen were down, i lost it. i wanted to go and help you guys, but obanai refused to let me go. i thought i lost my best friend!” mitsuri cried, looking up at you as tears nonstop poured out of her eyes, landing on your neck. 

“i’m sorry for worrying you, mitsuri. but, you know that i’m a woman of my words, right? i promised you that i would come back in one piece, and i did. i can’t leave my one and only best friend, now can i?” you gave her a warm smile, making her smile at you too. 

“don’t ever leave me, okay? i love you too much to lose you.” she sniffled, and you nodded your head as a small chuckle left your lips. 

“i love you too and i promise. now, let’s stop with all of this sad stuff and talk about something else. come on, help me dry my hair so that you can braid it.” you suggested, making her quickly sit up and smile brightly at you as she eagerly nodded at the idea. 

so, here you both are now, munching on the red bean mochi that she made earlier while she braids your hair. 

“so, i heard that you and tengen shared a pretty special moment together.” mitsuri suddenly said out of the blue, making you choke on the mochi that was trying to pass down your throat. you could feel her smirk behind your head. 

“said who? no such thing happened.” you quickly dismissed her assumptions. 

“nope, a little birdie told me that you hugged him and you both got all sappy with each other.” 

“...”

“so, i’m correct, right?”

“tanjiro told you, didn’t he.”

“i never said any names. so, that means i was right!!”  

“i never said that.”

“ughh, you’re so mean, y/n.” mitsuri whined, shaking you back and forth as you let out a heavy sigh. 

“listen, even though he’s annoying, i was scared that he was gonna die. i just got a little too emotional, alright?” you explained, your cheeks tinted with an angry blush right now. 

“oOooOo~ y/nie’s in loovveee with tengennnn~” she sang out, making you grumble as you were trying to shush her. 

“i don’t know anymore, he makes me confused. sometimes he’s a little mean and annoying but then he’s so sweet and caring.” you admitted honestly, making mitsuri hum in response. 

you’ve taken note of the small actions tengen would do to fluster your heart. him putting you before himself, moving you away from harm, his sometimes suggestive or flirty comments, and the numerous skinship you both unknowingly shared. 

“do a little trial on him for these next few days that you both get off. see if he acts the same or a little different with you.” mitsuri peaked her head around to shoot you a wink. 

“different?” you questioned, eyebrows pinched together in confusion. 

“mhm, different. you’ll be able to realize, don’t worry. oh! and i finished doing your hair. you should go to sleep, you must be tired.” mitsuri hopped off your bed, leaving you a little dumbfounded. 

“huh? but i thought we were gonna have a sleepover.” you said, causing her to laugh nervously.

“o-oh, well that, uhm i just realized that nezuko told me to sew up her kimono.” she replied, which was a total lie, but you decided to mess around with her a little more. 

“really? why didn’t she just give it one of the kakushis?” you interrogated further, making mitsuri thin her lips. 

“because the kimono is special to her and she trusts me the most with it. besides, you deserve some peace and quiet to rest. i’ll see you tomorrow in the morning.” mitsuri quickly waved to you before scurrying out.

you giggled at her strange behavior as mitsuri never hid anything from you before. but, you knew that sooner or later you’d find out. 

you turned of the lamp light before snuggling into your bed as you pulled the covers over your body and fell into a deep slumber. 

---

you were awoken by a cold breeze that entered you room, goraning as you rolled around you bed for a little. after stretching your body and doing that weird shaking/twitching thing, you sat up and turned on your lamp. a yawn left your lips as you rubbed the sleep away from your eyes, glancing at the clock rengoku gifted you on your last birthday. 

it was almost five in the morning. 

it was still pretty early but you knew that you weren’t going back to sleep any time soon. so, you decided to go to the hot spring for a soak since you knew that everyone was still asleep at this hour. 

you went to the bathroom and brushed your teeth before washing your face. you then grabbed a fresh set of clothes and a towel before heading out. as you were walking outside, you noticed the familiar white scaled reptile freely roaming the place. 

you cocked an eyebrow in confusion, knowing that the animal was almost never without his owner. you walked over to obanai’s pet snake, kaburamaru, before leaning down. 

“morning, why are you out here all alone, ‘maru?” you asked, as if the snake could understand and respond to your words. nonetheless, kaburamaru simply stuck his tongue out. 

“come on, let’s get you back to obanai.” you extended your arm, allowing the snake to slither onto you before wrapping itself on your neck. 

luckily, obanai’s place was on the walk to the spring, so you didn’t have to make a double trip anywhere. 

you finally reached his place, knocking on the door as you waited for a response. the door finally opened, revealing obanai in his robe. 

“good morning, i just came to return your little friend here who was roaming nearby my place.” you gave him a smile, extending your arm out to let kaburamaru slither back onto his owner as obanai thanked you. 

“who is that, honey?” you heard a familiar voice speak from inside his room. you looked at obanai with a questionable expression, but, he simply averted his eyes away from you as a blush crept up to his face. 

“mitsuri kanroji. come out here. now.” you strictly called out, hearing a faint gasp coming from her as you could here her shuffling around the bed. you saw her come into your view in just a robe as she harshly pushed obanai aside. 

“y/n! what are you doing here?” she nervously laughed as an obvious blush embrace her, while she scratched the back of her nape. 

“i just came to return kaburamaru. what are you doing here?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. 

of course, you didn’t need her to answer. 

the visible hickeys that were littered across her neck gave it away. 

“i can’t believe you left me for obanai. is this how deep our friendship runs?” you pretended to sulk, making her quickly shake her head. 

“no, no! it’s not like that, y/n, i swear!” she tried to reason. 

“i was going to invite you to join me in the hot spring, but i assume you’re to busy.” you let out a dramatic sigh, making her face wash with guilt. 

“i promise, i’ll join you later!” mitsuri grabbed your hands, giving you apologetic eyes. you chuckled at her futile attempts. 

“i’m just playing around, mitsuri. have fun, i’ll see you later.” you winked at her before walking off. 

the sun was still shying off, not fully risen as it was still a little dark outside. but, you didn’t mind it. you liked the dimmed lighting, the quiet atmosphere and how it was warm outside. 

you finally reached the hot spring, untying your robe as you took it off before settling your clean clothes and robe on the bench that was provided by the corps for use. 

you were now in your naked glory, being one with mother nature as the warmth of the earth embrace your skin. you dipped your toe in the water, testing the temperature, which was just perfect. you slowly began to emerge yourself in the water, moaning in bliss as the warm water hugged you with warmth. 

you leaned against the edge, allowing yourself to close your eyes as a contented smile was plastered on your face. 

“mind if i join you?” you heard a loud voice boom, recognizing it almost immediately. you opened your eyes to see tengen in nothing but a towel around his waist that was barely covering the lower half of his body. 

he was bare faced, snowy locks untied and his jewelry was removed. 

“knock yourself out.” you bluntly responded, averting your gaze as you realized that you spent way too much time checking him out. you looked the other direction to give him some respect of not looking at him completely nude. 

the only people you’ve been in the hot spring with was you friends, mitsuri and rengoku. other than that, you rarely come here unless it was a tiresome mission or mitsuri needed some company. 

you heard the splashing sound which indicated that tengen got inside the water, facing him as you both now sat across each other, an awkward distance if you were to be honest. 

after about a few minutes that had past, you suddenly heard tengen chuckle. 

“i feel like i’m about to have a serious conference with you. come closer, i’m not gonna bite you, ya know.” tengen gave you a sheepish grin, leaning back to become a little more comfortable. 

you suppose that he was right. 

you wrapped your arms around your chest as you got up, thankfully, the water covered your waist. you didn’t want to accidentally flash him. 

you took a seat next to him, feeling a little shy. 

“why are you so quiet?” you broke the silence, turning your head to the side to face him. tengen looked down at you with a cheeky smile. 

“why? you miss my voice that much?” he asked in a flirtatious tone, making your cheeks heat up. 

“no! it’s just unusual for you to be this silent.” you murmured, pushing yourself further down inside the water from embarrassment. 

“i’m giving you a day off from our bickering today. but just today! so, don’t get your hopes high.” tengen said, making you roll your eyes. 

“why thank you, lord tengen, how kind of you.” you said in a sarcastic voice. however, the foreigness of the honorifics used for him slipping out of your stubborn mouth made his eyes widen. 

“you should use honorifics with me more often. you sounded so hot.” he remarked, looking at you with a smirk as he licked his lips. 

“oh my god, shut up!” you splashed him with water, making him yelp. 

“hey! not fair!” he scoffed before returning the treatment to you as you both were now too busy wetting each other by the brutal splash attacks. 

which was you mostly getting drenched as his large hands caused huge splashes while your comparably smaller ones were not much help 

“why are you acting like we both didn’t have a romeo and juliet moment yesterday, princess!” tengen teased, continuing his attacks as you struggled to keep up with him, too busy as you were dodging. 

“don’t get any weird ideas, i was just an emotional wreck yesterday ‘cause i didn’t want to experience the whole rengoku incident.” you responded, using all your strength to form a huge wave with your hands before splashing him. 

“is that so? and how do you view rengoku as?” tengen paused, cocking an eyebrow as he waited for your response. 

“a brother of course!” you blurted with no hesitation as if it wasn’t obvious. 

“then how do you see me as? a brother?” he scrunched up his nose in distaste as he fake gagged. 

“what the fuck, hell no.”

“then?”

“i see you as a colossal dumbass.” you smirked, earning a gasp from him before the water attacks continued to be thrown at you. this would go on for another couple of minutes before you waved your hands in defeat. 

“okay, okay! truce.” you held out your hand, waiting for him to shake it. 

“fine.” he agreed, taking a hold of your hand; only to pull you against his chest as he smirked. your eyes widened, feeling the bare skinship between your tits and his well-scultped abdomen. 

tengen leaned his face down before his hand cupped your cheek, grazing the healing scar that was created from yesterday’s battle. 

“does it still hurt?” he softly asked, his voice sounding so hypnotizing and you couldn’t tell if your body was getting hot because of the water or the close proximity between you two. 

“not a lot.” you meekly responded, making him hum. 

“you were so good to me yesterday, saving me from that demon and scarring this pretty face of yours for me. yet, you look beautiful as ever.” tengen whispered sensually, making you release the breath that you didn’t realize you were holding in. 

“really?” you asked, mind slowly fogging up. 

“mhm, the prettiest. so fucking pretty that i could just eat you up, princess.” he began to leave soft kisses on your jawline, his lips feeling like soft pillows as you let out a whimper. your hand snaked up his nape, pulling him closer to you as he continued to kiss down your neck. 

suddenly, you felt something wet on the flesh of your neck. his tongue began to lick and bite your skin, making you moan. tengen made a few kitten licks before harshly sucking on the spot, determined to leave his mark. 

“tengen.” you called out his name, which came out as a whisper. 

“hm? tell me what you want, and imma give it to you all.” his thumb stroked your cheek as he looked at you with lust clouded eyes. without thinking twice, you pulled his head towards your face, crashing your lips onto his. 

the kiss was steamy and intense, the lewd noise of sucking and clash of teeth from how needy the both of you grew. you nibbled on his lower lip teasingly before licking it as an apology. tengen smirked into your little antics, grabbing a hold of your jaw before kissing you roughly. 

you felt his tongue swiping against your lips before his free hand cheekily went down and groped your ass, making you gasp. he took this as a chance to slide his tongue in your mouth, exploring every cavern he could find. you sucked on his tongue, completely drinking and devouring each other. 

you could taste the fresh mint he uses every morning. 

tengen pulled you more into him, as you could feel his hard cock now resting on your thigh. your eyes widened at how long, heavy and thick it was. he noticed your reaction and couldn’t help but let a cocky grin dance on his lips. 

“you feel that? it’s what you do to me.” he spoke on your lips before placing a sloppy wet kiss on them one last time. tengen pulled away, both of your lips connected by a string of saliva as you both panted for air. your lips were swollen and your face was burning red. 

tengen bit his lips, seeing your tits on full display for him to enjoy. of course, your tits borderline flash him every day because those tight uniforms are too small to cover them up.

not that he’s complaining. 

although, now it was completely exposed. your perky nipples swollen and begging for some of his attention to which he’d be more than happy to provide. 

tengen took one of your tits in his mouth, his hand fondling with the other one as he pinched your nipple, before rolling it between his index finger and thumb. tengen was the king of fairness, using his mouth equally as he suckled on your nipples before lightly biting it. he swirled his tongue around the bud before releasing it from his mouth with a ‘pop’ sound. 

your breath hitched as you entangled your fingers in his wet snowy locks, pushing him further into your chest. of course, tengen made sure to leave plenty of hickeys on your chest too, just for good measure. 

“come on, princess. let me please you how you deserve to be pleased, yeah?” with that being said, he lifted you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist and wrapped your arms around his neck. tengen made sure to securely hold onto you as he stood up and exited the hot spring. 

the area had two benches, one of them was occupied with both of your stuff. so, tengen used the empty one to sit you down. a sudden shyness took over you as you realized that you were completely nude in front of him. 

you look down at your feet before he grabbed a hold of your chin, lifting your face up to meet his burgundy ones. 

“come on, baby, let me see that pretty little pussy of yours.” tengen begged, kneeling as his palms were placed on your knees. there was a growing ache between your legs that you knew only tengen could cure. 

so, you pushed away those stupid worries swarming in your mind and said fuck it. 

you opened your legs, giving him a beautiful view of your wet cunt. tengen grinned in satisfaction, licking his lips as placed teasing kisses on your thighs, trailing up to your inner thigh. 

“tengen, please.” you whimpered, looking down at him with pleading eyes. although he wanted to toy around with you, he has waited way too long for this, so he wanted both you and him to indulge in this. 

tengen leaned forwards before licking a fat stripe on your folds. you let out a heavy breath as you felt the wet muscle part your folds open. he began to sloppily makeout with your pussy, sucking on your lips before lightly biting it. multiple swears and curses slipped out of your lips along with sinful moans as his tongue worked wonders. 

tengen sucked on your clit before placing a kiss on it, making the most lewd sounds ever. you soon felt the intrusion of something entering your hole as tengen pushed in a thick finger. he began to tongue and finger fuck your dripping cunt, his chin wet with your arousal as he continued to circle the tip of his tongue on your clit. 

he soon added a second finger, the sounds of your pussy squealching was like music to his ears. he experimented by moaning against your pussy, the vibration of his voice sending a shockwave through you. 

“fuck! s-so close, tengen.” you moaned out as he continued to scissor his fingers inside you while his tongue continued to lick, suck and bite your clit and folds. your stomach began to form a tight knot, your chest feeling fuzzy as your eyes rolled back from the intense amount of pleasure that you felt. 

“cum for me, princess.” he demanded, speaking against your sensitive pussy, nose bumping into your swollen clit while he continued to eat you out. 

you gasped and let out the most pornographic moan that your throat could produce, cumming all over tengen’s face. he happily drank in all that you had to offer, using his tongue to clean you up as his gracious actions began to overstimulate you. 

tengen gave your clit one last playful bite before giving it a kiss as he pulled away, looking at you as he wiped his wet chin. you were still trying to catch your breath from that powerful orgasm that he just put you through, looking at him with a flushed face. 

“i’m not done with you yet.” he mumbled, picking you up as he began to walk to his place. you forgot that the hot spring was located pretty much in his backyard. 

you both were now inside his bathroom, as he turned on the showerhead, the both of you now becoming wet once again. you felt his hard cock poking your thigh, wrapping your hand around it as you lazily pumped it while kissing him. 

he gasped in the kiss, a low moan leaving his lips as your thumb circled his tip. you grinned, looking up at him with an innocent face. 

“you know, i could put my mouth to other uses than just bickering with you.” you seductively said, licking and biting his peck playfully, making him groan. 

“is that so? why don’t you show me, i’m a visual learner.” tengen replied, making you giggle as you got on your knees to come eye level to his cock. 

this man was 6′6ft, it was expected that he’d have a huge cock. but, now that you’ve come face to face with it, you felt a little intimidated. tengen was massive, an erected shaft standing at no less than nine or ten inches, thick as the girth of it barely fit your hands, twin veins running on either side which throbbed under your fingers and his tip leaking precum. 

you placed a teasing kiss on his tip before swirling your tongue around, knowing that it’s the most sensitive part. tengen’s breath hitched, as he stroked your hair lovingly while you toyed around with his cock. you licked up and down the sides of his cock, making sure to specifically go over the twin veins, feeling him shudder. 

without warning, you took his cock inside your mouth, trying your best to fit most of it in. you gagged at first as you didn’t expect it to hit the back of your throat so soon, but you regained control. you bobbed your head back and forth, making sure to use a lot of spit to lubricate it and make it more slippery. 

tengen felt like he was in heaven, just on earth, in his bathroom. your teeth lightly grazed his shaft, the new sensation sending him over the edge as you continued to throat fuck his cock. you sucked and licked the entire length before sucking on his tip like a lollipop. 

you fondled with his balls, trying to stimulate more pleasure within him as you knew he was getting close with the way he was twitching in your mouth. 

“f-fuck, you’re such a good girl, doing so good for me.” he breathed out, encouraging you to continue your actions as he began to thrust his hips into your mouth. you heard him let out a whimper before a guttural moan exited his lips, his warm cum flowing down your throat. 

you made sure to clean his cock up, not wasting a single drop of cum that he poured inside of your mouth. you placed a gentle kiss on his tip, before standing up. 

tengen pulled you into a heated kiss, tasting himself a little on your tongue as he looked at you with darkened eyes. his hands travelled in between your thighs, fingers slipping past your slit as he rubbed your pussy. 

“need you so bad...please, tengen.” you whimpered, desparately grinding your wet cunt onto his hand as you continued to leave sloppy kisses on his jaw. tengen smirked, feeling himself get hard by your pleas. 

“you poor thing. need me to make you feel good, princess?” he tauntingly asked, but you were too fucked out in pleasure to care about his tone. you nodded your head eagerly before he pinned you against the wall. 

tengen grabbed a hold of his thick cock, using the tip to prod your slit open. you felt his tip graze against your clit, making you moan as you gave him pleading eyes. however, tengen intended to play around with you a little more. 

he coated his cock in your juices, sliding the long shaft between your folds as it ocassionally bumped into your clit or poked your entrance. you were on the verge of tears because your hole was clenching on nothing. 

“no more teasing, tengen. i need you inside me.” you said in between your pants, trying to convince him to give in to you by kissing him, sucking on his lips and biting his tongue. 

perhaps if tengen was feeling generous today, then he would’ve given in. but, he needed this. 

“tell me how bad you need it and maybe then i’ll consider if you’re worthy of my cock.” tengen evilly grinned, making your eyes widen at his request. 

“you little shit!” you cursed at him, only to receive a harsh smack on your ass. 

“disrespect me again and i’ll leave you in here all hot and bothered, i swear.” he threatened, making you harshly gulped as that was the last thing that you needed to happen. 

“please, tengen. i want you to please me, i need you inside of me so bad. make me cum, please?” you tried your very best to sound as pleasing as you could to make him happy, to convince him that you deserved to be fucked by his cock. 

“hm, have you forgotten that i am superior to you?” tengen scoffed, wrapping an arm around your waist to make sure that you don’t slip when he lifts one of your legs to wrap around his waist. he takes his free hand to slap his heavy cock on your clit, making you wince in pain. 

“say it right or you won’t get it.” he spoke and with every word was a smack on your clit with his cock, to which you were sure made your clit swell with both pleasure and pain. 

“please, lord tengen. make me cum, please.” you begged once more and this time he was satisfied with your answer, a proud grin plastered on his face as he leaned in to give you a longing kiss. 

“see, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” tengen playfully asked, but you were too distracted by the way the tip of his cock was splitting you in half. your face expressed a grimace as the stretch of his cock entering your tight hole burned a little. 

“just breathe, baby. you’re taking me in so good.” he encouraged you, a finger toying with your clit to stimulate you with some pleasure as he slowly continued to push more inches of himself inside you. 

“mhm.. it’s too much, tengen.” you mumbled against his lips, feeling incredibly full as he still hasn’t bottomed out inside you yet. 

“you can take it, princess, i know you can. this pussy was made for me.” tengen groaned, pulling out of you completely before slamming his entire cock back inside of you, a loud moan escaping your mouth as you clawed his back in both a mix of pain and pleasure. 

“f-fuck, so tight.” he stuttered, feeling your walls welcome his throbbing cock in a tight hug as he continued to thrust in and out of your went cunt. you were breathing heavy, the feeling of fullness from his cock threw you into a whole other dimension. 

“feels so good.” you whimpered, biting down on his neck as he continued to piston his hips into you, balls smacking against your thigh. his twin veins grazed your slick walls so perfectly, the friction increasing your pleasure. 

“been waiting for so long to fuck this sweet pussy of yours. god, if only you knew how many times you’d make me so hard and i had to jack off at the thought of you. and now? this pussy is mine.” he lowly chuckled, increasing his pace as his stamina was absolutely wild. 

a ring of white cream began to form at the base of his cock as you were fucked out dumb from his huge cock. your eyes rolled back, vision growing blurry as your mind was filled with nothing but tengen. 

“i’m gonna cum.” he moaned out, making you gasp as he twitched inside you while his tip kissed your cervix. 

“i-inside.” you managed to stammer out, and he nodded. the familiar knot continued to tighten as your climax was near. you moaned like an absolute bitch in heat, purposely squeezing him with your walls, feeling him choke on a breath from how good you made him feel. 

“gonna cum-” you whimpered as your body shook with pleasure, cumming all over his cock and a few seconds later, tengen painted your walls with thick ropes of cum. you shuddered at the warm feeling of your pussy being pumped full of his cum, as tengen still lazily thrusted inside of you. 

you were completely delirious.

you cupped his face, pulling him in for a kiss, nothing too suggestive. it was a simple and loving kiss. 

you pulled away, looking at him with a bashful smile. 

“come on, let’s properly clean up now.” tengen chuckled, and you nodded your head. he pulled out of you, watching the sight of your pussy leaking his cum and he could feel his cock struggling to contain the urge to get hard again and plunge deep inside your cunt again. 

“don’t waste it, pretty. i worked too hard to fill you up.” he scoffed, plunging two fingers into your cunt to shove his cum back inside you. 

“tengen!” you smacked his bicep, your pussy still sensitive. you both broke out into a fit of giggles as you guys finally decided to cut it out. the rest of the shower consisted of you two bickering as usual about who made who feel more pleasured. you washed his hair and he washed yours, it felt very domestic. 

after about another half an hour or so, you both finally got out of the bathroom. tengen went outside by the hot spring to grab both of your clothes from the bench. 

he saw mitsuri heading to the hot spring, waving her good morning as the woman happily reciprocated. 

“oh! why do you have y/n’s clothes in your hands? and speaking of y/n, where even is she? i told her that i’d be joining her in the hot spring later.” mitsuri pointed at your clothes as she asked in confusion. 

“don’t worry, i took great care of her. she seemed a little tense, so i helped her relieve it.” tengen smirked, giving mitsuri a wink. she gasped as she saw the marks left on his flesh, a squeal leaving her lips. 

“i knew it, i knew it! hehe, she’s never gonna hear the end of it from me!” mitsuri jumped in joy from her victory. 

“hm, looks like you and obanai had some fun like us too.” tengen pointed out, noticing the bluish-purple marks left on her neck. she laughed in embarrassment, to which tengen didn’t pick on her any further, patting her head before taking his leave to let the woman enjoy her time. 

tengen returned with your clothes as you both dressed more comfortably. it was only seven in the morning, still pretty early. 

“i should head back to my room.” you said, standing up from the bed, only to have tengen frown. 

“why? just stay here with me for a little longer.” tengen grabbed your hands, pulling you down on his lap as he protectively wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“what if someone finds out?” you asked in worry. 

“so? who cares? you’re mine now anyways. also, mitsuri know.” tengen dropped the bomb as he kissed your neck. 

“what?! how??” your eyes were the size of two full moons. 

“i met her by the hot spring just now, she was asking for you and i told her that you were with me.” he shrugged it off. you groaned as you shoved your face in the crook of his neck. 

“fuck, i’m screwed.” you whined. 

“why? you don’t wanna be with me?” his voice was tainted with disappointment, making you quickly pull back to cup his face. 

“no! that’s not what i meant. it’s just, i’ve been in denial with my feeling for you for so long and mitsuri was right. so, she’s gonna eat me alive for the next few weeks.” you let out a heavy sigh, making him chuckle. 

“oh? you know, you saying that now makes me wanna eat you again.” tengen grinned, and in a swift motion you were now on his bed with him hovering above you. 

you giggled, locking him between your legs as you wrapped your arms around his neck before pulling him in. 

“you’re so dirty, geez. i’m so tired and sore, so let’s just sleep.” you suggested, watching his eyes glimmer with love as he nodded. tengen laid on the side, pulling you close to his chest as he kissed the top of your head before looking down at you. 

“tengen?” you called out to him.

“yes?” he responded, as you looked up at him. 

“i love you. well, i love you a lot actually. i was so scared that i was going to lose you yesterday. so, don’t ever scare me like that, okay?” you hugged him tighter, making him laugh at your sudden confession. 

“i love you too, princess. as long as my heart beats, i promise to protect you.” tengen leaned down to press a kiss over the scar on your cheek before finally planting a soft and loving kiss on your lips. 

you both smiled at each other before snuggling into one another’s embrace as sleep slowly began to take over your heavy eyes. 

[knight-says-rollout]

Would you mind telling us about more disabled Cybertronians?

Oh boy would I

For this list let’s focus on physical disabilities, both because they’re the most commonly dismissed by the fandom and bc if we try to cover everything we’d be here all day (that can be another list, maybe, if y’all want)

This isn’t going to be comprehensive bc I’m tired but!! I will aim for a broad variety of examples nonetheless

Bumblebee - You all know him, you all love him. He’s the most obvious and most well known example of a disabled Cybertronian character.

In many iterations he is mute

Not by choice but because he lacks a voice box. Bee physically isn’t capable of speech and depending on the version has different tools to work around that. Sometimes he uses his radio to repurpose song and radio dialogue into speech, in cyberverse he also makes use of the internet for clips. In the aligned continuity (tfp and connected media) he speaks in binary, a very simplified form of language using beeps and buzzes, but still lacks a real voice and can’t form words.

In IDW he has a cane

At one point in the comics Bumblebee was shot by a human protester and as a result used a cane for a good bit of time. I haven’t had the chance to read that far into IDW yet so I’m not sure how long he had the cane for but it was enough time that it’s a solidified part of the charcaters history. I’ve seen little models of the cane for sale, to be paired with bee figures.

TFP Ultra Magnus - everyone’s favorite awkward commander, despite his popularity he’s surprisingly overlooked when it comes to this discussion

An amputee, he lost his hand

During an energon raid with wheeljack, magnus’ hand was crushed. Ratchet couldn’t save it and had to amputate, replacing it with a hooked prosthetic. I call it a prosthetic rather than replacement part because despite him being able to move it, it’s not a hand. Not in the way he had previously, and he has to relearn how to use it at all.

I think that’s an important distinction to make when discussing disability and transformers. Some bots might have only ever had one hand, or no legs, or etc but that’s always been their level of ability and since they Are robotic. Yeah they might not have the same capabilities as another bot but that’s a hard metric to go by. Seekers can fly but a grounder isn’t disabled because they can’t fly too, it’s a different standard.

WFC Shamble - far lesser known than Magnus, and reasonably so, this background character is Also missing a limb

Amputee, leg edition

His prosthetic is a lot less fancy than magnus’s, it’s a simple peg leg. Put em together and you get a pirate. Not much to say about him since i don’t know how he lost the leg, just that he did.

Shadow Striker - Most awesome lady in cyberverse. Unlike the above two, she Was able to get actual replacement parts rather than prosthetics. Despite this, she is both shown throughout the show and implied to have

Impaired mobility

Chronic pain

She was able to get replacement parts yes but they were needed because she was blown up. The limbs she was given were kinda just what the others could Find and as such are mismatched and don’t fit her very well. Her motor skills took a blow especially when it comes to combat, something she used to excel in. Her new limbs are described as unstable and prone to malfunction. The loss of mobility and implied chronic pain that come along with her situation are rough, but she makes do.

SG Soundwave - my favorite little guy, he’s in a bit of a different situation than the previous.

Bad Joints ™

His body was entirely overhauled multiple times, successfully, but the latest frame change was done with conflicting metals. Earth and Cybertronian materials clash in his joints, making them prone to getting stopped up. The most affected hinge being the one on the door to his tape deck. It is so prone to getting stuck that his cassettes refuse to dock with him at risk of getting trapped. To work around this, Soundwave has the aid of a personalized case he carries around that they dock in instead.

IDW Sunstreaker - speaking of assistive devices, this guy was (for a time) a wheelchair user! Or,, hoverchair.

Temporary,,, paraplegic? Correct me if another term fits better

Taking this moment for an aside to say hey!! Lookit that, both canes and hoverchairs are things that canonically and casually exist on cybertron!! It’s not too wild to assume there are bots out there who use them long term!! Yes both characters on this list were repaired eventually but they’re also both very popular old characters from an action based franchise and hasbro doesn’t have the balls to make something like that permanent yet. We the fandom are not hasbro. We can do whatever we damn want with our OCs. It’s canon that ur little guy can use mobility aids.

Ok, PSA over, anyway yeah Sunny’s body was basically wrecked and alpha trion was able to repair all of him except his legs. This put him in a hoverchair for a good amount of time.

Finback - he’s a con, a pirate, who developed a “metal wasting disease”

He’s on permanent life support

The disease is going to kill him eventually, and it’s explicitly stated that he’s come to terms with the idea of his death. In the meantime he’s using pretender tech, kinda like fancy armor, to reinforce himself and boost his immune system

Perceptor - for a microscope, the fact he’s got vision issues in multiple continuities is kinda ironic

He’s fully blind in cyberverse

He lost an eye in IDW

Between the two we get to see both routes taken to work with this. Adaption and technological aid. In cyberverse he uses his scope to compensate for the loss of vision Toph-style. In IDW he built himself a monocle that basically replaces the pieces that are missing.

Now we get into the uniquely Cybertronian disabilities, one’s that don’t quite translate to human conditions

Transmutate - is a beloved bot from beast wars

They can’t transform, they don’t have an alt mode

I’m hazy on the details of their character but afaik they came from a damaged stasis pod. Described as deformed and handicapped for their both their lack of an alt mode and general appearance, they are probably the oldest explicitly disabled Cybertronian character

Xaaron - from G1 is in a similar situation

He can’t transform, it would kill him

Unlike transmutate he does have an alt mode, a tank, but after thousands of years without transforming he is no longer able to. The new stress it would cause on his body would kill him.

Broadside - continuing with the subject of alt modes, this clumsy boy is a boat! That’s not a good thing.

He’s very prone to motion sickness

As you can imagine, chronic sea sickness isn’t the most helpful thing when you are the boat. This brings in the entirely new element of mobility issues that are inherent to alt modes. A bot that functions fine in root form might not in alt mode and vice versa.

Trailbreaker - is another instance of this. He’s not a fast car by any means but that doesn’t stop the fact

His frame has a very high energon cost

Possibly the least fuel efficient autobot, he’s got an outlier ability on top of it all that only further increases his required energon intake. He needs to pay more attention to his energon levels and refuel more often overall.

G1 Knockout - yes that’s right the shiny medic himself is on this list, though not for the same reason as his tfp version, g1 knockout still lives up to his name

He’s prone to fainting

A knockout in the more literal sense, he faints when he gets too excited. Fully collapses and everything. Since he’s a fall risk, his teammates take care to keep an eye on him.

Annnnd Yknow he probably should’ve been earlier in the list along with the “human-ish” issues but I’m tired, it’s late, and I’m bringing this list to a close

Im sure there are more characters that I didn’t mention but I hope this helped! Thank you for the ask

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS Zayne: Shades of Jade | NSFW

Okay so I legit wrote this weeks ago but I never got around to fully editing it, and at this rate I never would. Had @zayne-li check for typos so here we go. No crazy fic edits but I mean...I think it's still good without it. Anyway, this is the pegging Shifu fic.

❧ Pairings: Zayne x Reader ❧ Warnings: Pegging, Bottom Zayne, Top Reader, Gender Neutral Terms, AFAB Reader, Oral Sex (M Receiving), Anal Fingering ❧ Synopsis: You adored Zayne so much, and while intimacy was still new to you, there was something you were dying to try on him. Something you had found out when you had gone out to town and talked with some of the ladies there. So you worked hard on a piece of jade you found, too embarrassed to ask a craftsman to make it for you. Your only hope was that Shifu would be willing to let you try it on him. ❧ Word Count: 7.5k

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Zayne

Shade of Jade

Living alongside Shifu…Zayne had been a different experience. It was a simple routine you guys had fallen into after almost two years in the mountains. You knew him, knew his reactions, and you thrived off of it. You loved the man so much that sometimes it physically hurt. 

Routines, though, could sometimes get dull. It’s why you found yourself finding new hobbies whenever you could. Zayne had mentioned two months back that he had seen some jade in the nearby lake, which meant you had spent an entire week there. Ankle deep and searching for some jade. While you had procured a fair bit of jade, the piece you had found near the end of your hunt had been something else.

Even Zayne had been impressed when he saw the large chunk of jade in your arms. The length of it was almost the size of your entire forearm. At first, you debated going into town and seeing if the local jade carver could make something out of it, but then an idea popped into your head. It wasn’t anything terrible, but you had plans and couldn’t find it in you to ask someone else to carve it.

It led to you at least seeking out the artisan in town and asking for a rundown. It had been a little old lady who had taken up the mantle after her husband had passed away. The woman had been more than happy to help you out, especially after admitting it was a present for your lover. So, you practiced on a few of the smaller pieces you found until you had enough confidence to make what you needed.

You had spent literal weeks on end with the project, smoothing things out and focusing on its details. Anytime Zayne was out working on charms, you were in the back with your project. He had only asked you about it once, and after telling him it was a surprise, he had let it go.

Sadly, you couldn’t make absolutely everything you needed from scratch. You had gone ahead and asked a leather maker to create some items as well, but you planned on assembling it yourself. The last thing you wanted was to be the talk of the town, for everyone to know exactly what you were working on.

You swore today would be the final day. You were so close to being done with the jade piece. The harness was finished as well, tucked away in a safe location for the time being. A homemade jar of boiled red seaweed was under the sink at the house, hidden away from Zayne’s eyes.

You could hear his footsteps as he approached you, and you hid the item underneath a blanket you kept on your lap, “Are you still working on that?” Zayne’s voice broke through as he leaned down over you. He knew whatever you were making was with jade, so you didn’t have to bother hiding the tools, at least.

“It’s a very…big project, mister,” You said while reaching up to pinch his cheeks, “However, it’s almost done. I should have it finished by late this evening.”

You felt his lips against your cheek as he gave you a small peck, “Then should I prepare myself to receive it later today?” he asked, pressing another kiss to your cheek. You giggled as you looked up at him, taking his face between your hands and dragging him down for a kiss.

“Yes, sir,” You finally said, and you could see his shoulders sagging in relief. He had been curious, of course, but knew better than to pry when it was something this important to you. Still, he had to stop himself many times from looking into it, finding out exactly what you had been spending weeks doing.

Zayne took your hand, now marred in shallow cuts, and brought them to his lips to kiss them, “I think I’ll be most excited that you’ll no longer be hurting yourself on my behalf,” he said, not letting go of your hand.

“It’s just part of carving jade; it’s fine. It’s not like they’re serious, and I haven’t nicked myself in almost two weeks. Look, they’re basically healed over now.” You said, and he let out a sigh.

“I suppose you’re right. I’ll be out-. “

“By the sacred tree, making charms, I know,” you had finished his sentence for him. He gave you a small smile before walking away, his robes flowing gently as he left you. You let out a small sigh as soon as he was gone and took out the object once more.

You just wanted to define one of the grooves near the bottom of the shaft. You had managed to turn a large chunk of jade into a toy, careful with how you carved it so you’d be able to fit it into your leather harness. It was only about five inches in length, which was plenty for what you wanted to use it for. Your hand went over its blunt tip.

You had done your best to make it look like a dick but did deviate to make some grooves and to accommodate the original shape of the jade. The very tip of it was curved, and depending on how you put it in the harness, it would be either up or down. 

The idea itself had come to you almost the moment you had looked at the raw chunk of jade. You read up on male anatomy, and after finding out about the prostate and males having sex with one another, you wanted to be the one to fuck Zayne. You had no idea how he would receive the request, though. It was taboo, and you hadn’t really heard a lot of others talk about it before. You guys were still getting used to casual sexual intimacy, after all.

When you first slept with Zayne, it was the first time either of you had done anything like it. Ever since then, you were in a constant state of wanting to jump the man, to feel him inside of you. Oftentimes, he’d be doing most of the work, so you wanted to return the favor.

It took another hour before the final touches were done. The smooth jade didn’t have any harsh edges that might hurt Zayne, and it looked perfect. You searched around, pulled out the leather harness you had assembled, and slotted it inside. It fit perfectly, which you had hoped. It was literally made for it, after all.

You took the jade out of the harness and placed it in a small satchel. You then undid your robes after looking around to make sure Zayne wasn’t nearby, then began fastening the harness around your hips. You made sure it was snug around your hips and thighs, not able to move much.

The final step was going into the kitchen and finding the lubricant you had made. The sweet old jade lady had taught you how to make it after you had casually asked her. She had an almost knowing look in her eyes when she explained how to make it from the red seaweed that could be purchased in town. You had the oddest feeling that she knew what you were up to, but you had done your best to remain calm and neutral about the situation.

You looked over the small jar, then placed it into the satchel as well. You secured it together and checked to make sure your robes covered the harness. You opted to just wear the first layer of clothing, knowing that the current weather outside wouldn’t be too cold at this time of year. The less you had to take off, the better. After all, you’d have to disrobe Zayne, which in itself was going to be difficult. The god wore far too many layers.

You left the sanctuary of your home and made your way outside. The sacred tree was right there, and you could see Zayne sitting at the table outside, working on the charms just like he said he would. Your strides were fast as you quickly closed the distance between you two.

Zayne didn’t even look up; instead, he focused on his brush strokes as he spoke. “Have you finished your project?” he asked as you looked down at his hands. They were always so elegant, and you wondered how he never got the ink over the white of his gloves. You assumed centuries of doing calligraphy would make it easier not to make mistakes.

“I did,” you said while placing the satchel on the table. He finished what he was doing and put the charm to the side with the growing pile of them. He looked at the satchel curiously, then back up at you.

“It looks larger than I expected,” He admitted to you, causing you to smirk. You wondered if he even knew what he was talking about as your head went to the gutter for a second.

“How about we clean some of this up before you open it, hm?” you asked as you went to take the dried charms. He had a large box next to him on the ground, where he’d put the slips of paper after they were finished.

Zayne helped you as he delicately picked up the still-wet pieces, careful not to allow any smudges, “Will you be helping me make these later? It’s been a while since we were last able to make charms side by side; I can’t lie and say I haven’t missed it.” His words were sweet, and you blushed a bit.

“We can tomorrow. I think we’re going to be a bit preoccupied tonight.” You said as the table was finally cleared. Zayne was now looking at you with confusion. The sun wouldn’t be setting for another two hours, and he doubted opening a present would take that much time.

“If you say so,” He went to gingerly take the bag, but you stopped him quickly and cleared your throat.

“Um, a little bit of context for this present…I wanted to try something new with you if that’s alright.” You finally got out, and you could see the cogs in his head turning. He blinked owlishly, trying to understand exactly what you were implying, “I want to try something new with…sex,” you clarified.

His mouth opened in a small ‘o’, “So you made something for that?” while Zayne wasn’t terribly well versed in a lot of things humans did in the bedroom, he did know about toys. You had, after all, explained it to him a few times. You even used a rope at one point, but you guys hadn’t tried anything too out there yet.

He finally went and opened the gift, his hands carefully pulling out the well-made jade dildo. He turned it in his hands, fingers running over the edges for a moment as he admired your handiwork. “You made this yourself.” There was no judgment there; if anything, you could hear a little bit of pride in his tone.

“Ya, I didn’t exactly know how to ask a little old lady to…make a phallic object like this.” You admitted to him, and his eyes sparkled with a sense of amusement.

“You did a wonderful job,” he complimented, as though he weren’t holding an artificial dick and instead held something fancy like an accessory. Well, in a sense, it was going to be an accessory for you to wear.

You watched as he then placed the item onto the table, and pulled out the jar of lube next. He turned that in his hand as well before uncapping in. He could see the liquid inside and smelled it. It was familiar to him, and he could hazard a guess as to what it was.

“So, did you want me to use these objects on you?” He wasn’t sure why you’d want to use a toy. It was very well made, but you didn’t need one. He had told you in the past that he would always be available if you had urges. He wouldn’t lie and say his thoughts on you were always pure, either. He was almost a little…resentful that you’d prefer using a toy rather than himself.

“Well, actually, I wanted to use it…on you.” You finally said, waiting to see his reaction. His eyes snapped open, then looked over towards the toy, then back at you. It was like something finally clicked in his head, and you could see how the tips of his ears were now a bright red tone.

“Why would you…I mean,” he didn’t even know how to respond to that. The thought of an object going inside of him was certainly something he hadn’t even entertained the possibility of.

“So I mean, I’ve read up on some scrolls. And while it’s frowned upon for men to be with one another, there’s still a lot of…if you know how to find it…writings on it.” You admitted. You had at one point been speaking to a few ladies at the local bathhouse, and one of them had mentioned it before. After getting to know the group they had…let you read a few scrolls of men making love to one another. They always seemed to really enjoy it, and while you didn’t have a dick yourself, you figured making one would be fine.

“You won’t be able to feel anything though. Is the way we do it currently not to your liking?” he almost seemed upset when he posed this question.

You walked up to him and cupped his cheeks, “Don’t ever think I don’t enjoy being with you. I love the feeling of you, the connection, the intimacy. I love everything about it. I just wanted to be the one giving this time around. It should feel good.” You said, “And I have a good idea as to what needs to be done, so it does feel nice.”

Zayne seemed to think about it before nodding, “Could you explain then? I think I’d like to have a good idea as to what exactly you’d like to do.” He said, and you felt your shoulders sag. He seemed a little more open to the idea now, and you nodded.

“Well I made some lubricant to help coat the toy and…your entrance,” Zayne seemed to flush and avoid eye contact at that bit, “As long as I properly stretch you open with my fingers first, it should just…slide in without much issue. You’ll have to relax first…then there’s the uh…cleaning that would need to be done to avoid…” you didn’t exactly know how to word the next part. Zayne seemed to have gotten the hint, however, with how he nodded.

“That…shouldn’t be an issue. I’m not a human, so…” he said, and now it was your turn to flush. Not what you had been expecting, but it was better. You had read up on cleaning methods, and while you would be there to support your partner, you’d doubt he’d want you there for it.

“Well then…that makes things easier. So…would you be okay with me making love to you?” you finally said. His breath caught in his throat at the way you phrased it.

He finally nodded and gave you a small smile, albeit a little embarrassed, “If you’d truly like to, I’d be willing to try at least once. Besides, it would be a shame if the jade implement you created wasn’t ever used. I know how hard you worked on it.” He said, and you let out a happy noise from the back of your throat.

“Alright, then, let’s prepare you,” you said as you stepped closer. Your hands were placed carefully on either side of him as he found himself caged between you and the table behind him.

“You’d like to do this here?” he said, and you nodded. You cupped the back of his neck as you dragged him down to your level. Your lips ghosted over one another as you breathed in one another’s air.

“It’s not like we haven’t done things in nature before. Nobody can find this place, after all. It’s just the two of us right now.” You said before leaning up to kiss him. Zayne always melted into your lips the moment they were on his. Closing his eyes and just enjoying the feel of you. His hands went to your waist, dragging you closer to his body as your lips melded together.

He let out a small moan as you bit his bottom lip, getting access to his mouth as your tongue pressed against his own. He let you guide the kiss this time, shivering when he felt one of your hands on his hip. It rested there for a moment before it began traveling to the front. You moved your body slightly away from his own so you’d have a better angle to work with.

Your hand went to cup him through the layers of clothing he had. Despite all the fabric, you could feel him. The faint warmth and the subtle twitch of his cock underneath his trousers. He groaned into the kiss, his hips moving on their own as your tongue went to the roof of his mouth. It was always so easy to rile him up; just from kissing and talking about sex, he was already rock hard.

Your mouth finally left his own as your lips attached to where his earlobe was, taking it between your lips and sucking it. He let out a gasp, feeling your hand moving from his crotch to his arms. Your fingers danced on his forearm until you found one of the clasps that held his gloves to his robe. With deft hands, you unclasped one of them and used your hand to trail down to his palm, playing there for a moment before taking his glove off.

You did the same with his other, taking it off with almost a practiced ease. This time, you took his hand in your own, squeezing it as you savored being able to feel his without anything in the way. The warmth seeping from his palm into your own had you let out a small moan. Your kisses had trailed to his jawline, sucking a small mark there as well.

Your hand slipped from his and went up to his front, working the clasps of his cloak off. “I know I’ve told you this before, but…” you trailed as you pushed off the bands around his shoulders, “Your outfit is really pretty, but it’s a nightmare to take off, especially when I want to see you naked beneath me.”

He let out a moan from your words, allowing you to work the cape off of him. It fell gracefully onto the ground, and he was left in his robes and pants, “Now do me a favor and remove your boots for me.”

Zayne lifted his leg up enough for him to work the clasps off his boots, all while watching as you undid the bottom of your robes and pushed them to the side. His eyes widened when he noticed the leather straps around you. He was now understanding what you meant when you said you wanted to make love to him. He had thought you’d be using the toy with your hands, not like this.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt you come close to him again. Your lips were now able to attach to his neck as you peppered it in kisses. His hands went down to his pants, intent on taking those off as well, but you were already working on something else, your hands starting to undo the ties of his robe and letting the garment fall off his shoulders.

Your hands went down, playing with the hem of his pants before tugging them down his waist. With all the layers he wore, it was always shocking to you to find out he didn’t wear underwear. Not that you’d ever complain about such a thing. You watched as Zayne kicked away the pants around his ankles, leaving him bare from the waist down.

You didn’t hesitate in dropping down to your knees, your mouth pressing kisses to his inner thighs. He twitched the moment he felt the heat of your lips kissing him. He was always so bashful when you went down on him, assuring you it wasn’t necessary, but you loved it. Loved watching him crumble in front of you from how good it all felt. It was your favorite activity.

His cock was already leaking as you wrapped a hand around the shaft, giving it a few small pumps and watching as his eyes almost rolled back. You pushed down the foreskin and licked at the slit; a groan erupted from the back of Zayne’s throat as he looked down, watching your every move.

Zayne’s hands were fisting the edge of the table, his nails scraping it every so slightly as he focused on his breathing. He felt how you wrapped your mouth around the head, slowly sliding down on his length as you hummed at the taste. Oddly enough, you had found Zayne to be on the sweeter end of flavors. You had heard women discuss it before, talking about their partner being bitter and salty. While that held true, it wasn’t bad at all. You would often have him cum in your mouth and swallow it happily, never gagging from the taste.

You took your mouth off of him with a pop and began stroking him again, “Can you open that jar and hand it to me?” you asked, smirking once you saw him snap back to what was going on. He had been so zoned out while you worked on his dick that he almost didn’t hear you.

With slightly shaky hands, you watched him go and grab the tub of lube. He opened the jar and held it out for you to dip your fingers inside of it. The substance was slippery and a bit more on the watery end of the spectrum. It would certainly work with what you had planned, though, as you adjusted your position between his legs.

Your finger came up, prodding at his entrance, and you could feel how he tensed up. He let out another groan as he looked down at you with hesitant eyes. Even as you prodded, your finger wouldn’t slip in easily. He was so damn tight that, for a moment, you wondered if this would even work.

“You need to calm down, love,” you said, pressing a kiss to his thigh. You heard the little gasp leaving him as his legs opened up more for you.

“I’m trying, but it’s…different,” He didn’t know how to put it into words. He never thought about putting anything inside of him like this, so his entire body was being held taut. The tension in him not wanting to snap as all his muscles clenched up.

Your finger continued to circle his entrance before realizing it wouldn’t do you any good until you managed to calm him down some. A distraction of some kind was certainly needed at the moment, and you trailed your eyes over to the table and spotted something that could be used.

“My heart, can you hand me the calligraphy brush with a bit of ink?” you finally asked, pressing another kiss on the opposite side of his thigh. Zayne’s eyes followed your gaze and noticed what you were referring to, realizing that it hadn’t been taken off the table in your little moment of cleaning earlier.

“Might I ask…what for?” he said, not knowing what you had planned. You laughed in response as you bit down on his thigh. He grunted and bit down on his lower lip before going to grab you the item.

“It’s not for anything bad, I promise,” you assured him. As he handed you the brush, you leaned back. Your hand, still slick with lube, made it a little hard to hold, but it would be fine. It wasn’t like you were about to paint a piece of artwork on the man, after all.

Instead, you slowly took the brush over his thigh and drew a heart shape on it. Zayne shivered in response to the cool ink touching his skin, and he looked down at your little project. Next to the heart, you began drawing a small jasmine flower, and he sighed.

“What are you doing? Painting on my thighs?” he asked, not knowing why you were stopping like this. You chuckled as you began writing your name on his thigh next, deliberate with every brush stroke.

“I’m giving you a break,” you said as you finished writing your name, “You looked like you needed some time to calm down.”

You handed the brush back to him, and he couldn’t help himself. He ran the brush gently over your cheek, drawing some unknown design onto your face. You gave him a little smile as you kissed the drawings you had done, pressing right underneath them to not taint your mouth with the fresh ink.

“I thank you for your consideration,” he said as he placed the brush back where it belonged. In that moment, he felt your finger back against him, now pressing into his entrance. He let out a loud, surprised groan as your finger was finally able to slip inside of him.

Your mouth was back on his cock, sucking him down and licking at the veins that went up his shaft. Your finger slowly fucking into him the entire time as Zayne closed his eyes.

He wasn’t sure how he should feel or react. It didn’t feel particularly nice, and it was a strange, foreign sensation. It didn’t feel bad either, though, which confused him. Perhaps it was due to you sucking his dick at the same time that made him so confused with how this all felt. He just knew that he was finding himself enjoying the process.

He let out a long, drawn-out moan as he felt another finger slipping inside his entrance. You began scissoring your fingers, intent on stretching him out as much as you could. He was grunting, letting out small moans, and even a whine managed to escape him as you worked him.

Your free hand went to grab onto his thigh, smearing a bit of your handiwork and leaving a hand-print. Zayne’s hand went to thread into your hair, pushing it out of your way as you began hollowing your cheeks out. You hummed around his shaft, feeling how his fingernails were gently scraping against your head. Your eyes were closed as you focused on the task at hand.

More of his pre cum began sliding down your throat, and you could feel his dick twitching. He was already so close, but you wanted him to cum from the strap. You didn’t want to tire him out so quickly, so you slowly withdrew your mouth and fingers from him. He had loosened up a decent amount from all the stimulation you had been giving him, and you were pretty sure he’d be able to take your cock now.

Zayne held back a whine after you left him; instead, your mouth now pressed sloppy, wet kisses to his thighs as you allowed him to calm down. You slowly rose back up until you were able to drag him down for another quick kiss. He moaned when he could taste himself on your lips, his tongue darting out to lick at you.

You couldn’t deny him anything, allowing him to explore your mouth for a moment as he rolled his hips into your stomach, seeking something to help him feel good. When you parted, you leaned forward to suck at his Adam’s apple, watching as he whined before you spoke against his skin.

“Alright, baby boy, did you want me to lay you on your back against the table, or would you prefer to be standing and bent over, facing away from me?” you decided to give him the option. Both sounded good; you’d be able to watch his facial expressions if he was on his back. If he were bent over, it would be easier to watch the artificial dick sliding into his entrance.

“I’m…unsure,” he finally got out, his voice coming out a bit huskier right now, “Which position is easier for the first time?” he said the last part, quieter, hesitant in his wording.

“I’ve heard being bent over is a bit easier, but whatever you’re comfortable with,” you said, letting him get the final say in the situation.

He took another moment to debate before he nodded, “Alright, then that’s how we’ll do it,” he said, and you smiled. You kissed him again, this time chaste and kick. You then worked on moving the bottom of your robes out of the way as they had fallen in front of you again.

You grabbed the jade dildo from next to him and began working into the harness—the tiny o-ring allowed it to be secure against your pelvis so it wouldn’t be moving around. Zayne couldn’t help himself, now opting to stare at you with the phallic object strapped to you.

He couldn’t help the way his cock twitched at the sight, realizing he might like this more than he anticipated. You looked stunning like this, and he wanted more. He wanted to see more, to feel more; he wanted everything. Even if it was embarrassing to be so vulnerable, he knew you’d never judge him. You two always took things one step at a time, something he adored about you.

As soon as everything was secure, you looked at him, “Alright, turn around,” you instructed. Zayne took one final moment to admire you before doing what he was told. He turned around so he was facing the table, and before he could do anything, he felt your hand on his back, pushing him down so he was resting on his forearms. It wasn’t a position he ever thought he’d be in with you, and he was realizing how you must feel at times with how exposing this was.

He felt your foot nudging at his own, signaling for him to part his feet a little more. He adjusted accordingly, and then he felt your hands on his ass. You squeezed down on the plumpness of his butt for a moment, admiring how firm yet squishy it still was. You knew he had a nice ass, but it was always hidden by about ten layers of clothing, so you could never admire it. Now, you had every intention of watching it jiggle with every thrust of your hips.

He watched your hand reach next to him, dipping back into the already open jar of lube. You grabbed a decent amount this time, enough for some to slip between your fingers and onto the desk. While Zayne couldn’t see what you were doing, he could hear it. The wet squelching noises as you coated the fake cock in the slippery fluid to help it go into his ass without resistance. 

“Are you ready?” your voice broke the quiet of the moment. Zayne looked behind him to see you towering over him, one hand on the dildo and the other parting one of his cheeks so you’d have an easier time seeing it. His ears and cheeks were painted in a pretty, vibrant red hue.

“Yes,” it was all he could really think to say at that moment. He watched as your face turned into a gentle smile at his words.

“Alright, let me know if you need me to stop at any time. Just say the word jasmines, alright?” you said, and he nodded.

He took in a shaky breath, “Okay, just please…put it in already,” the longer he waited, the more time he had to second guess if this was what he really wanted.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his words; you pressed the tip of the artificial dick against his entrance and watched as the tip managed to breach the tight ring of muscle. He let out a gasp, his body instinctively leaning away from the intrusion. 

You cooed, rubbing at his ass as you slid a little more into him. You could feel the resistance as he clamped down on it, not allowing you to push in any further, “Calm down, baby boy,” you said gently. You didn’t want it to sound like scolding, but you knew if he kept tensing up, then this wouldn’t be a fun experience for either of you.

He pressed his face into the sleeves of his robes, his shoulders bare from how it had slid down. He let out a slight nod in confirmation, too flustered to even look back at you. You watched as he took in a few shaky breaths, willing his body to relax for you. As soon as you felt the resistance faltering, you pushed more of the toy into him.

You heard him whine as you took a moment to pull out a bit and thrust in, getting a little bit deeper this time. His body jolted forward, and his legs parted a little more as he arched his back. He dared to look over at you, his lidded eyes staring you down as you repeated the motion.

It still felt odd to him, and without something touching his cock it wasn’t as good as before. He wondered if it would even be possible for him to get off like this. If he wasn’t going to cum, he would let you know. Perhaps ask if you could at least play with his body a bit so he could get released, then finish off by spreading your thighs around his face so he could repay the favor.

His inner musings were cut short; however, when he felt the rest slip inside of him. He suddenly felt so complete as he balled his fists up and closed his eyes. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before, and everything was almost too much for him to handle.

His hand reached behind him, grabbing onto your thigh in an almost bruising grasp. It was desperate and needy as he cleared his throat, “G-give me a moment,” he said through clenched teeth, “Need to ah-adjust,” he said. His heart felt like it was pounding right out of his chest in the moment.

“Alright, let me know when I can move,” you said, running your hands down his back. He shivered at the contact, but the touch was grounding for him. He was trying to focus on everything but the intense pressure building in his stomach and the fullness he currently felt.

It was…pleasant. To be stuffed like this was something he had never entertained, but now that he was experiencing it firsthand, he realized it wasn’t a bad sensation. It still wasn’t incredibly arousing, but it was something else. He felt a little sentimental, realizing that this was yet another first experience you two were sharing. Your first kiss, first time having sex, first time cuddling with someone to bed, everything with you was so new.

“So pretty…” you couldn’t help but admire as you waited. You weren’t in a rush, wanting him just to feel good. You were aiming for him to cum from the cock alone, and you were confident you could achieve it if you got the angle right, “So beautiful, all for my eyes and my eyes only,” you muttered, and Zayne let out a content sigh.

“I’m ready,” he finally got out, ready to allow you to properly begin fucking into him. With his consent, you slowly took the dick out until it was about halfway in there, then you rolled your hips back in. The little mewl he let out was like music to your ears as you repeated the motion.

Now that you were moving, it was starting to feel better for Zayne. It wasn’t uncomfortable with the stretch anymore, and he could feel the grooves of the implement scraping gently on his insides. It had him wanting to whimper, but instead, he opted to sink his teeth into the fabric of his robe’s sleeve. He could feel your pace begin to pick up, a steady rhythm coming from you.

Every thrust punched the air out of his lungs as he tried to focus on not making too many noises. If it were the usual moaning or grunting, it would be fine. Instead, he felt the tiny little wails threatening to escape his throat as he clenched his fists until his nails were digging into his palms.

“Zayne, I want to hear you,” you managed to get out, sliding one hand up to his hair. You knew he liked hair pulling; you had done it several times to him in the past. It was never too harsh, but you were tempted right in that moment. With the angle you had him in and how he was focusing on hiding all his pretty noises, damn, were you tempted.

Zayne made no move in extracting the sleeve from his mouth, still working on being silent as you fucked into his ass. You let out a small sigh, deciding just to try it out. He had the safe word if he felt uncomfortable with something you did, after all.

While your thrusting began picking up, the hand that was on his back was wrapped around the base of where his hair was tied. You let a few locks slip out until you were right under it, and then you tugged hard. He cried out as his head snapped back from the movement, a pitiful whimper escaping him.

His mouth now hung open as he let his moans out freely. He began adjusting his position, trying to get more comfortable now that you were holding onto his ponytail like this. His hands were flat against the table as his arms straightened up to help him up a touch.

“Good boy, just like that,” you managed to say between breaths, the constant movement of your hips as you angled the fake cock getting to you. You never realized how much of a workout this could be, but the sight of the jade dildo disappearing in his ass had you transfixed, as well as the loud moans and whines he was letting out.

Zayne’s breathing was coming out as pants now; he could feel that familiar coil building up. He had doubts he’d be able to cum like this, but now he was sure it was not only possible but inevitable. He was getting closer with every thrust of your hips as his cock began sliding against the table underneath him.

With the new position Zayne was in, you could angle your hips just right. You knew you finally found what you were looking for when he keened, the high-pitched noise mixing with the sounds of slapping.

“W-wait,” Zayne managed to get out. He hadn’t expected the feeling inside of him. Whatever you had managed to graze with the dick had done something to him. It felt so fucking good that he couldn’t even form a coherent thought as the tip of the dildo slammed right back into it.

His cock was drooling onto the table, leaving a small puddle underneath him. He wanted to hide his face, hide from you, but he couldn’t. The feeling of your hand still tugging at his ponytail kept his face upright, so he was looking up at the sky. The multi-colored light blurred in his vision as the sun started to set.

Zayne’s body now shook, and you had to release his ponytail to grab onto his hips and make sure he didn’t collapse in on himself. He was unsteady as his eyes went unfocused, “N-need a, feel mhm p-plea ah differ-ah haaaa,” he couldn’t even get the words out through the cloud of lust engulfing him. The thrusting left him breathless as you continued abusing that sweet spot inside of him.

You could see how his hands were clawing at the table underneath him, leaving physical marks of his pleasure on the wood. You were certain any time the man was working; he’d see those and get hard off the memory of what you did. You watched as drool began forming in the corner of his mouth, his face being just barely visible enough for you to see what was happening.

You then watch as his cheek is pressed against his arm, laying his upper body back down onto the table as he couldn’t hold himself up. It looked like he was going to try and say something, but the words were lost on his lips. Not that you needed him to speak; after all, his body’s reaction was enough to tell you what he wanted to say.

You watched his cock jump, painting the table in his cum. The pearly white substance smeared where his cock was, getting onto some of his robes as it joined the puddle of pre underneath him. He was utterly debauched at this moment, unable to form a coherent thought as you milked his prostate, getting an orgasm to roll off of him in waves.

It had been like nothing he experienced thus far. He knew that an orgasm felt amazing, but this time, it was like it had gone through his entire body and left his head feeling a bit fuzzy. You smiled as you continued holding him up, rolling your hips into his sweet spot gently until his dick stopped leaking.

There were tears in the corners of his eyes as he shook from exertion, the climax draining him and leaving him feeling completely boneless in the moment. The only thing he could think about was being held by you, to hear your voice gently coax him back to reality.

It was something you wanted as well, as you slowly pulled the fake cock out of him. He let out a pitiful whimper, almost missing the full feeling of your strap inside of him. He looked back at you with a hazy expression, not knowing if he needed to speak at the moment.

“You did so good, my love,” you said as you began working the straps off of your hips. You placed the now dirty toy off to the side, knowing you could clean it at a later date. You then looked around and grabbed the nearby chair. You dragged it over to you two and sat down on it, then spun your lover around and made him sit on your lap.

Despite his size, he was curling up into you. His face tucked into the crook of your neck as he nuzzled into you. He breathed in your scent and savored the moment of closeness. He could hear your voice whispering gentle praises to him as your hands were placed with his hair for a moment, before running down his hips and soothing them with your caress.

You pressed a kiss to his exposed shoulder, and it was enough to get him to come back to you finally. The haze in his eyes cleared up as he continued nuzzling into your neck, not wanting to leave just yet.

“I think…I’m better now,” his voice came out hoarse as he spoke to you. You stopped your kisses for a moment as you nudged him off your shoulder so you could look at him properly. Your hands cupped his face as you took in his appearance.

His cheeks and ears still held a flush, and his bangs messily stuck to his forehead. Unshed tears were still in his eyes, and you swiped your thumb over the corner of his mouth to clean up the wet mess from his drool.

“You’re so pretty,” you murmured, leaning forward to kiss him. He closed his eyes and basked in the moment with you, kissing you back lazily as your lips melded with his own. When you parted, you spoke up, “Are you feeling better now?”

He nodded his head, “Yes, a bit,” he said as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against your own. You looked up at him, admiring every part you could see.

“We should head to the river soon, get you properly cleaned up…” Despite your words, neither of you made a move to get up and break the moment.

“Perhaps later; I’m unsure I can walk at the moment,” he sighed, “My legs are shaking still,” when you placed your hands over his thighs, you could feel the slight tremble.

“Take your time then; we’ll go when you’re ready,” you assured him, “I love you; I hope you know that,” 

He smiled as he opened his eyes, “I’m aware; I love you as well,” it was sappy, it was sweet, but honestly, it fits with how he was. Soft, gentle, and completely yours in whatever way you could have him.

[nikki0606]

the letter | Hawks X Reader

oneshot; (wrote it some 3 yrs ago and edited the narration here)

(it was a result for a "write a letter to mha characters" quiz of mine)

.

"Calm down, will you?" Tokoyami says over the phone, "I can not believe it's me of all people who needs to console you."

"Well, it was your idea." you pace your room in stress.

"It was dark shadow's idea." Tokoyami doesn't sound happy at your accusation, "I even warned you against trusting him just like that. His maturity level is down in the drain. That all put aside, I really do think you should relax. Definitely, sensei wouldn't hate you."

"He wouldn't hate me?" you frown and take a deep inhale, "I wrote that guy a love letter and we left it in his office, Tokyo!"

"I do not see how that should make him hate you.. " Tokoyami sounds confused, "Hawks sensei has quite a following, it would only be normal to him if you ended up having feelings for him too. Relax, it's no big deal."

"Oh my God." you clutch your head, "Is this how you're consoling me? I don't know what to do– is there a chance he wouldn't have seen it? I really just want to bring the letter back now."

"Wow." Dark shadow's voice sounds, "That's really spineless of you," you gasp at that, "relax, (Name)-chan. Everything's gonna be fine. If Hawks sensei ignores you, I'll fight him for you."

You pause, "Ignores? You know what, I'll call you and Dark Shadow back later, Tokyo. The both of you are only increasing my anxiety."

"Okay." Tokoyami sighs, "And stop calling me Tokyo."

"No." you hang up right after.

Continuing to pace in the room, you begin to prepare yourself for the worse. It's true Hawks could just ignore you if he gets uncomfortable with the whole thing. If not that, he could just reject your feelings.

After all, he does get thousands of letters per day (though none are found at his table top in his office) and like Tokoyami said, it would be only normal for him to have a little girl crush on him.

You're two weeks away from your birthday and do not at all wish to be crying over his rejection on the day you turn eighteen. 

"It's alright." you try to console yourself, "There's a lot more beauty in this world to cry over just one guy." but it's easier said than done.

No matter how true your words are, they do nothing to ease the way your throat suffocates in anxiety."

Your phone buzzes with notifications on the side and you pick it up to distract yourself with whatever they're from only to find an unknown number having texted you.

__________________________

XXXXXXX

heyy

you really thought you'd 

send him a letter and BOOM

he's into you, huh

haha, bitch

stop daydreaming

look at this 

seriously

stop embarrassing yourself

there's other important ppl

in his life

__________________________

Your brain processes the texts way too slow. Once it does, however, you feel something in your heart shatter.

A picture of Hawks blushing and another of him covering his face combined with the texts you've received explain a lot. 

There's other important people in his life.

It makes sense– you don't know much about his person life. You only know Hawks the hero not the person who he is away from the limelight.

It makes sense, absolute sense, but it hurts. 

"It's okay." you mumble futile and empty words to yourself, one hand making way to your chest and rubbing it hard. The ache lying within overpowers even the peak of control you can exert over yourself.

A tear rolls down your cheek. At this point, you don't even know what else you were expecting.

"I am just another fangirl." you tell yourself, "It's alright. That's what happens, I'm no one special– I barely know about his personal life."

A ding brings in new messages from the same number.

__________________________

XXXXXXX

we've got some things to settle

fifteen minutes from now

on your dorm roof

lets fight

YOU

lets please talk it out

it's nothing serious

I guess I'm just a fangirl

XXXXXXX

ask me if I give a fuck

__________________________

It hurts you to reply this way but this is just the truth.

But how can someone enter U.A.? I don't think non pro heroes would be allowed to enter.

And this thought leads to the rather painful realization that the person texting you might just be Mirko, you know Hawks is good friends with her so there could always be things between them that you aren't aware of.

It's just best to go and talk to her and clear out any misunderstandings. Who knows what sort of ruckus might follow.

You violently rub your teary eyes and swallow hard, "Well then."

There's no one on the roof when you reach there. With a sigh, you walk over to the boundary and lean against it taking in the view of the night at your school.

The suffocating weight on your chest remains constant but the worry about what Hawks would think of you beats it.

It hurts to remember how seriously you had written the letter and poured all of your ehart into it. Now, you only feel like an idiot.

Why the fuck did I even think this was okay?

If you could, you'd make everything go back to before you'd written it. All the worry, all the nervousness and this painful rejection-- you sigh.

"Pretty, isn't it?"

You haven't paid attention to the view until now. At once, you blink focusing your gaze in front. A small smile rises up your face, "It's beautiful." and then you pause.

"You didn't even notice me sneaking up to you." the way too familiar from the snort makes a tsunami of heat crash against your body, you snap your head to where Hawks is leaned to the boundary by your side.

"Hawks." your jaw falls a mile below.

"Yup." he smiled, "I had to come, didn't I?"

On reflex, you look around to see if someone else has come with him but not another soul is around.

"You're.. " you swallow hard, a mountain of shame settling in your face, "Uhm... well.. "

Hawks hums, his face turned towards the school building in view, "I thought I'd just talk to you face to face. I was on my way to Musutafu anyways."

"O-Oh.. ?"

"So you wrote me a letter." there's the tiniest bit of tease in his voice, "You think I'm handsome, eh, (Name)-chan? Boy, I did not know that."

Your face falls into your hands. You wish the earth would swallow you whole.

"Well," he hums a moment later, "I sort of saw the letter in front of Mirko and she urged we should prank you so she took those pictures of me while I was reading the letter. I don't know what she's texted you though. She said you'd be happy to see me in person."

It takes you a while to process the thing about the pictures.

You don't have it inside you to face him anymore but the relief you feel on knowing this was a pranks expresses itself as a sharp exhale.

Hawks' face turns to you again, a sly smirk rising to his face, "You weren't getting jealous, were you? Ahh, I really want to see a jealous (Name)-chan. Your little crush on me makes this so much easier."

With great difficulty, you manage to separate your face and hands and try to lift your head.

"Oh right," Hawks snorts, "it's not a crush, it's love."

"Come on." you whine, turning your face away.

Hawks laughs, "You're adorable, (Name)-chan. Don't you worry, you'll still be on my priority list of little girls crushing on me."

"Look at how proud you are about that." you roll your eyes hysterically, "Shameless chicken."

"Aw, don't you think being mean to me makes me not want to hang out with you?" he dramatizes, "I thought we get careful when we get a puppy crush."

You're honestly just glad he isn't hating or getting creeped out by you.

"You were on your way to Musutafu?" you try to change the topic, "For what?"

Hawks hums a little, his gaze focused on the distantly visible city, "Say, (Name)-chan. You're of age, right? Your birthday was three months ago so you should be eighteen already."

"I am, yeah." your gaze rests on him for a bit- Hawks looks beautiful in the low night light.

He turns to you, "I was coming to Musutafu for this date I have to be on. I realized I should confirm your age outside the school. Nezu looked pretty relaxed when I said I want to visit you so that was relieving."

You blink, "I'm sorry?" there's a darker shade settling on his face now that you focus.

"Takami Keigo." he hums, "That's my real name."

The sudden revelation takes you by surprise, "Oh? I.. wow. That's a nice name."

"Of course," he snorts though there is now something adorably nervous to his voice, "your crush on me makes everything about me nice."

"Other than your personality, yes." you pout, "Look at you insensitively teasing me. Are you wishing to see me cry later?"

"Ne ne, (Name)-chan, you really think I'd let you cry?" he turns you towards himself.

You blink, "H-Huh?"

Hawks smiles nervously, "D'you.. you know.. want to go out with me tonight?"

It takes an eternity for your brain to process it. Once you do, your jaw drop in shock only to tug upwards immediately into a smile.

"What? What.. seriously?"

"Of course." his hand rubs the back of his head, Hawks looks embarrassed, "I-I mean.. it's not important that your crush is one sided.. "

"You like me?" you don't remember when the last time you'd been filled with such pure thrill was. You're basically jumping on your feet.

"If you're going to behave like this, how do you expect me not to?" he pouts and speaks in a small voice.

"Wow." your gaze locks into his, "That's just... "

"Sweet?" his hand boops your nose, "It is. But anyways, should we?" he holds his hand out.

You're about to put your hand onto his put pause, "Has Aizawa sensei allowed you to take me out." you pause, "Shit, I'm not even dressed right." and you continue to freak out more in happiness than in worry.

Hawks chuckles, "You're being pretty reasonable for someone who gets to be with the sexy hot number two." and the sassy reply he expects doesn't come.

You wrap your hands around him instead, "I am."

A gush of red burns his cheeks, Hawks lips part, "Wh-Whoa.. okay." his eyebrows jerk, and his head turns to the side now radiating with heat.

"Shit." you step away from him, "I'm not making you uncomfortable or something, am I?"

"Not at all." Hawks's eyes lock into yours, "That's.. actually leave the date. Let's go to your room and watch a movie or something."

"Boys aren't allowed in our side of the dorm." you make a sad face.

"I'm a man if you haven't noticed." he frowns, "Take me down there, I'll make sure you never miss my manliness again."

Your eyes widen and avert to the side and a buzz rises up your skin. Hawks looks pretty dead set with his little tease and is happy to see the reaction he was expecting.

It's risky sneaking Hawks inside so he sends in a feather first. Thankfully, there's no one in the hallways at this hour.

You let Hawks inside first and enter after securing the area. Little do you realize you've pushed him right into the one wall full of posters of him. You thank yourself for not having pasted hearts or something of the sort around.

"Looks like you have a major crush on this pro hero Hawks." he looks smug but the warm red tint of his ears adds more to the story, "That's so cute."

Your cheeks flare up, "W-Well.. th-there's nothing to hide anymore.. I guess."

Hawks hums, "You'll be knowing me as Keigo no onwards." he leans forward and pulls a poster down, crushes it and throw it to the side.

"What are you doing?" you frown in confusion.

"There's a lot of other things you need space to stick on the walls." he says, "Things about Takami Keigo and not Hawks," a teasing smirk rises up his face again, "and then you can continue to thirst over a sexier side of your hero crush."

You pout and turn away, face now warming up the air all around, "You're so mean, Hawks." there's a silence, "K-Keigo-san.. "

"Good girl." he hums, making all hair on your body rise on their ends, "Try it less formal."

You swallow, "Keigo-kun.. ?"

"Yeah." his hand strokes your cheek, you feel your legs getting weak, "That's more like it, babybird."

"You're literally so mean." your gaze averts to the ground, "Coming all the way here just to tease me.. "

"And maybe also to see you get excited like a little kid when I say it's mutual." he winks, then plops onto your bed, rubbing his face into the pillow.

The thing about the number two pro hero is that the confidence seeps out of all pores in his body. Even if he is shy and nervous, Hawks would unapologetically spread around knowing it would not at all change anything about your feelings for him unless it makes them more intense.

He knows that because he has seen the expression on your face when the two of you would mess around and do weird stuff to annoy Tokoyami (although it was mostly you).

Hawks would have a bigger hand in verbal teasing.

"S-So... " you fiddle with your fingers, cheeks heating up more at the thought of his scent settling onto your sheets. Hawks turns to you.

"Movie?"

"I-If you want to."

"Or maybe we could just.. you know," he playfully winks.

You freeze momentarily, "What... ?"

Hawks snorts, his hand taking his visors and ruffling his hair. He beckons you to come sit with him while taking his shoes and jacket off.

You now find it hard to not stare at his torso.

"Should we have a photoshoot?" he turns to you, eyes full of adoration.

It's too bad that your dirty mind is not able to process anything rationally on being exposed to his biceps now. And it just so happens that you and Hawks are awfully comfortable with teasing and insults on being friends for so long (all thanks to Tokoyami).

That is why the words slip out of your mouth before you can realise, "If you strip, yes."

Hawks blinks, his ears visibly getting a hot shade of red but expressions forced to remain straight, "You really have some wild fantasies about me, babygirl. Tokoyami told me all of them."

You blink, "What?"

He smiles cheekily, "If I strip, you'll lose your head."

"No- Tokoyami did what?"

"Told me some stuff." he hums, "Told me I should get a spine to propose to you but then boom, you send the letter and it gets easier for me."

"He knew you liked me back?"

"Of course he did." Hawks pushes his boots to the side with his foot, "Don't you go getting mad at him," his hands plant on your hips, cheeks blooming red, "this is my payment for this request."

In another second, you're sitting in his lap.

"So, photoshoot." he clears his throat, unable to properly talk now that your body is pressed against his with your adorable eyes looking up at him in shock and embarrassment, "I-I'll use my phone."

[ginnyluna]

I've been thinking about Reyna lately. Specifically, about her romantic interests. Like, how she was supposedly in love with Jason before the swap, but did nothing when he disappeared, and then developped a crush on Percy in like three days. I know i'm not the only one thinking it's a bit weird and out of character for her, and i had a thought on that.

Headcanon alert: Maybe becoming Praetor isn't just about leading the legion. Why are there always two praetors, a boy and a girl? What if New Rome expects their praetors to get together, after their service? You gotta understand, yes there are many citizens in New Rome, but the thing is, there are very few actual demigods, those people are almost all legacies, several generations after an actual demigod, and almost none of them have any real power anymore. Maybe New Rome needs to insure they keep having powerful warriors to fufill their leadership positions. What better way to insure that than artificially putting two of their most powerful warriors together?

It's not necessarily obvious, more like an unwritten rule, but when two praetors are chosen, they know it comes with expectations. Praetors are good at meeting expectations, after all. And New Rome's senators are there to remind them of those expectations. To make things easier, when picking their next two praetors, sometimes, the Senate chooses two teens who are already a couple, if both are powerful enough. Sometimes, they may pass over a potential praetor if they explicitly refuse to be a part of this kind of engagement, or if their parents want to protect them from that. And sometimes, the Senate picks two powerful orphans, one who spent his entire life following the rules and trying to meet expectations, and one who just lost her family and would do anything to belong to a new one - bonus points if one is an extremely rare son of Jupiter, they'll definitly want to insure that this specific genetic will be passed on to the next generation.

So. I don't think Reyna was ever in love with either Jason or Percy (at least, to me, it really didnt' feel like it when reading her pov chapters). I think maybe she was just expected to be, so of course she tried to be. Reyna has always been a rule-follower, after all, she always does what is expected of her, she understands the hierarchy's needs. And maybe she longs for a family of her own, too, and Jason is a really good guy, it would be a really good match, so if that's what the legion expects of her, why not go for it.

Edit: more under the cut

Also, it would kinda explain Reyna's reactions, i think? Even though she's not in love with Jason, she still likes him, they're friends, and they have both unexplicitly agreed to this match when they accepted the role of praetors. So when Venus tells her that Jason will never end up with her, Reyna just... doesn't get it? Why wouldn't they end up together, that's part of the deal, right? Why would Jason change his mind? Reyna probably already knows he's not in love with her like she's not in love with him, but that's never been a problem for her, and it wasn't gonna be a problem for him either when he took the praetor badge, so what changed? Does he actually dislikes her that much?

So yeah, she's a bit hurt by that. She thought they had an agreement (unspoken, prehaps, but still, for her it was quite clear).

But then Jason vanishes. No one really knows what to do, they don't even know what happened, did he leave? was he kidnapped? is he dead? Of course Reyna is worried, he was her friend, but she has an entire camp to run, all by herself now. She also thinks, that's what Venus meant after all, doesn't matter if he's dead or if he left willingly, he'll never be a part of her family, the family she's been longing for. Reyna probably thinks she's cursed to be alone now, the forever-alone single praetor, what a depressing thought. But then comes Percy.

Percy is powerful. He's another very rare demigod. He's brave, strong-willed, a natural leader - all important qualities for a potential praetor. So when he succeeds his quest, brings back the golden eagle and saves Camp Jupiter, of course he is chosen to replace Jason. Reyna thinks, is this her second chance? Percy is also handsome, funny and kind, he would be just as good match as Jason.

But when Percy agrees to become praetor, he has absolutly no idea what expectations comes with it - it's not like anyone ever takes time to explain, everybody just usually knows about it, it's tradition and what not. So when he tells Reyna he already has a girlfriend, of course she's disappointed, her hopes for family and a sense of belonging are shattered, again.

My point is, what Reyna had for Jason and Percy, it was never about love. It was mostly about rationalizing New Rome's expectations, and a little about wanting to belong, to be a part of a family of her own.

[talenlee]

3e: Winners and Losers In Lawful Space

Planescape is a silly place.

Dungeons & Dragons is a wholeheartedly silly game, and it’s important to remember that what makes it silly is an expansive growth out of a particular root. It is a tree of many branches but thanks to the way that it encourages people to build their own things on top of it, it has become a sprawling kind of folk narrative and generally accepted consensus material that then a company comes along and tries to augment and supplement. Still, as much as a corporate mind is at the head of what gets published, what gets handed to that corporation is going to derive from the mind of a dork who likes D&D. To that end, D&D’s lore is a constant push-pull between the kinds of nerds who like organising lists and the kind of nerds who like to invent new types of dragons they want to have sex with and they’re all trying to integrate one another’s material because that’s how nerds demonstrate mastery over a topic.

The result is that D&D lore is composed of parts that neatly and smoothly fit together and parts that should be airbrushed on the side of a van, and all subjects exist in a space between those two points, on a spectrum. And nowhere is this more evident than in the way that 2e’s setting Planescape introduced elements that 3rd edition tried to hide.

Planescape, as a setting, exists very close to the ‘airbrushed on a Van’ side of things, and it’s extremely obvious when you look at its roots in 2nd Edition. In this space, much of what makes Planescape Planescape was codified. For those of you unfamiliar, Planescape is a setting made up of the idea of ‘planes’ as distinct, discrete universes with their own rules separated not by time and space, but just by barriers or magical boundaries. You know how Narnia is supposed to work, with the wardrobe? It’s like that, but there are a lot more wardrobes and they all go to different places. Think a sort of multi-level Isekai scheme.

Anyway, it’s a setting with like, multiple whole universe-sized worlds, that may or may not have planets inside them, some of which follow a very narrow set of identifying rules, like the elemental plane of Fire, which is full of Fire, or are just like ‘here, but a bit weird,’ like Bitopia, which is a whole plane that is mirrored vertically at a certain height. If you look up in Bitopia, you see another whole country up there – that’s why it’s called that. Also everyone there is bisexual.

Planescape sought to build out more of that structured universe and then in each structured space, fill it with interesting notions. But the structure is a little odd, in that it’s hard to make an infinite number of chairs organise neatly, someone is always putting out one more where they shouldn’t. That means there are tidy diagrams of the Planar cosmology, and then you look inside any of the bubbles in that diagram and find it’s full of gibberish.

It was in 2e that, as far as I know, we were introduced world-wise, to the characters of the Modrons.

There’s a whole writing form that involves referring to Modrons in deliberately obtuse ways, with Modrons being the individual, plural, categorical, and utility terms for this people, but what you need to know about them is that Modrons are weird lil guys that are made out of a basic geometric shape – pyramid, cube, dodecahedron, all the way up to sphere (or down to sphere, depending on who you ask). They are truly perfect Lil Guys, a byproduct of a plane of true law and order which doesn’t in any way cohere to what humans (the people playing the game) necessarily assume about law.

They make a lot of sense in a storybook kind of way where you don’t need to have big answers for what they are or how they work or even how their philosophical bias towards pure lawfulness works. In the world of 2ed, where sometimes things that sound like they should be well explained, clear rules are kinda yada-yada-yada’d in a space that you might imagine is flavour text, the Modrons left a bunch of questions unanswered and seemingly, that was good. It was good that they were heavily ambiguous because what was the life cycle of ‘an orb?’ Any answer made them less mysterious and pushed them away from the oddness that they represented.

Anyway, 3e was an attempt by a serious company to do serious things and that’s why when they went back to talk about the Creatures That Lived In The Lawful Planes, they came up with the Inevitables.

Inevitables are the demons of small minds, writ large. Literally, the point of an Inevitable is to be a Lawful Neutral version of a Demon, an entity that exists purely based on rules, coalesced out of a world made of rules, and with nothing holding them back from expressing that. Each of the Inevitables is meant to respond to a rule in the universe and then enforce it. They are self-appointed near-immortal construct cops, and they’re meant to oppose things and people that break the rules that they, specifically, are meant to care about.

These rules are completely out of whack, though, because one of them is meant to enforce say, justice, another the inevitability of death and another, the way the desert is a fixed ecosystem that nobody should try and change or interact with. And in that case, there are a bunch of plants that the Inevitables are going to have issues with, that don’t seem to be capable of forming complex political allegiances.

There’s a really interesting distinction between Inevitables and Modrons, to me. Modrons are weird and interesting but also, there’s nothing they can do that answers a question. Inevitables are a fun challenge that’s supposed to be present to oppose players or potentially be recruited into an adventure, but not for too long. But Inevitables, the 3e attempt to populate Lawful Planes with A Kind of Guy, sort of fell apart and are now more of a trivia question while Modrons have endured into 4th and 5th edition.

I don’t think there’s some greater, better reason for it or anything. I don’t think that Inevitables failed because they were Bad Design or something. But I do think that for me, the way that Modrons represented Weirdness was much more interesting than the ways the Inevitables sucked weirdness away with their simple, clear consideration of certain things as being part of natural reality.

After all: Inevitables would hunt down people who extended their lifespans because ‘everyone must die.’ But Inevitables were immortal. That’s a pretty interesting thing to juxtapose and maybe a character could struggle with that.

Or maybe they could make a big speaking trumpet and demand that everyone else refer to them as a Spokesmodron which is, in my opinion, much funnier.

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