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icyg4l · 8 months ago

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Pick-A-Couple: What Does A Healthy Love Look Like for You?

Hello beautiful people. Thank you so much for the support that you have given me over the past week. I really appreciate it. This week, I will have uploaded some Pick-A-Piles (plural) regarding love since that seems to be a highly requested type of reading. But for today, the topic is all about how you can achieve a healthy love. Now, this will be divided into two parts; for the singles and those who are in relationships. The singles will receive information about how they can achieve a healthy love, and those who are in a relationship will receive information as a checkpoint for comparison! Without further ado, please select your pile!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile 1A: Alright Singles of Pile One, it feels like you typically wear the pants in a relationship, lol. I don’t feel that this is by choice, but it’s just a role you naturally assume. If you are attracted to cisgendered heterosexual men, they may feel ‘emasculated’ by your ability to lead and take charge. But if this statement does not apply to you, I feel like you just take on the role of the ‘masculine’ roles. You kill the bugs. You fix the holes in the wall. You take out the trash. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you’re single and ready to mingle, you don’t have to suffer in silence like a man would, lol. If you would like someone to take on this, then say that. I get the feeling that this pile is full of first born children or children who had to grow up super fast. You should partner up with someone who is willing to take the lead half of the time while looking at you as an equal; not idolizing you or making you feel small. I think that healthy love for you is something that makes you feel like a kid. It’s something that does not feel like a burden or a responsibility. Stop letting people take advantage of you, Pile 1A. Healthy love is something that does not rush its way into your life. Remember that part! I feel that you have a high sex drive as well. You will end up meeting your match. Some of you feel like you will never find someone who is as good as you in the bedroom but this is false. You need to be open and willing to see where life takes you. You do not have to be rigid. Once you let go of all of these expectations for what you originally thought love was, you will find its healthy version made just for you.

Cards Used: The Hermit, The Fool, The Lovers, Three of Wands, Two of Wands, The Chariot, The Hanged Man and Ace of Wands.

extras: big hats. philanthropy. sparkling water. aquamarine (2006). katy perry. flossing. “you can't handle this”. tiger stripes. pharrell and kelis obsession. assertive and passionate. avid reader. poker face.

Pile 1B: This pile is for my people who have been with their people for a lifetime. Are you with someone who you have been with since high school/college, Pile 1B? I think that you have been with your person, supporting them through the ups and downs, trials and tribulations. You may feel as though no one else is for you. But for a healthy love to exist, it is okay to exist outside of your relationship. Things should not get codependent in a healthy relationship. If you cannot leave your partner at home, then please find them a friend! This may sound crazy but distance will help strengthen your relationship. At first, it may seem like the end of the world because y’all aren’t with each other but you’ll quickly realize there’s nothing wrong with this. Another quality of what healthy love looks like for you all is the ability to confront challenges almost immediately. Passive aggressiveness will not solve your problems, Pile 1B. Outward aggression will not help you guys either if there is nothing to channel that energy. Use that energy to defend one another from anyone who has a vendetta against your relationship and move on! And lastly, I feel like you and your partner have to be willing to post one another… For you, sharing your love story to the world is a must and this is literally just for you, Pile 1B.

Cards Used: Ace of Discs, The Hermit (RX), The Sun, Knight of Swords, The Chariot, 10 of Swords, Four of Wands, Three of Discs, 9 of DIscs.

extras: knight in shining armor. kindergarten class. pigtails. kissy face. movie theater candy. sweat stains. a$ap rocky streamer. sims 3 expansion pack. blue-in-the-face. “heart-to-heart”.

Pile 2A: For my single pile 2s! Now I’ve heard about you, Pile 2A. You’re the friend who has the tendency to make excuses for their romantic partner/love interest. You really don’t have to do that, you know? Part of a healthy love is accepting them for who they are. If you have to imagine a different scenario with them, then that’s not your person and quite frankly, they should not be with anyone! Loyalty is something that is owed on both ends, so if they aren’t holding up their end of the bargain, then leave! Forgiveness is not something that should be given to everyone in your case. You have a really big heart and you should be more stingy with it based on what you’ve experienced in the past. A healthy love with you requires patience because what you’ve been exposed to has not been the best. And for that, I’m sorry, Pile 2A. In a healthy relationship, you will achieve harmony and equality. You will be recognized as a person with real and actual feelings. You will not be seen as a trophy or a doormat. It feels like your higher self is activating. They’re telling you not to fall into that same pattern again. Know your worth, Pile 2A and you will attract the love that you deserve.

Cards Used: The Lovers, Knight of Cups (RX), The Hanged Man, Eight of Cups (RX), Strength, The Sun, The High Priestess, Queen of Cups.

extras: “separate”. glassy eyes. weed. monsters under my bed. trauma porn. tiktok storytimes. blossom.

Pile 2B: Everything is going to be alright, Pile 2B. Have you recently gotten into a fight with your significant other? I think it was blown out of proportion to be honest. But the qualities of healthy love for you lie in you and your partner’s ability to resolve issues amicably and directly. I think that if you address things from the beginning, it won’t be as bad. The strength that comes from being vulnerable with one another will grow more intense each time. Similar to Pile 1B, you have to be okay with being by yourself at times. It is okay to be distanced from your partner. Give yourself time to miss them. I also feel that with this pile, you have the tendency to point the finger at your partner when that’s not really necessary. I am channeling the energy of Marcus and Angela. Name-calling one another is not okay! Working through your own personal issues will be valuable at this time. I think that in order for you to be in a healthy union with your partner, y’all may have to separate for a while just to get it together.

Cards Used: 10 of Cups, Death, 9 of Discs, Prince of Discs, Strength (RX), 5 of Cups, The Emperor, 2 of Swords, 7 of Swords, Temperance.

extras: misplaced anger. dark cave. drowning. partynextdoor. water signs. tangent. shrek 2 (2004).

Pile 3A: For the singles of Pile 3! You have it altogether, don’t you?? Pile 3A, it feels like you seem to have all the good qualities of a partner from the outside looking in. You have a life outside of your potential relationship (s). You are established financially. You are clever, intuitive and aren’t afraid to speak up for others. You seem to have a good sense of self too. But for some reason, you just can’t find that one person that is for you. Well, for starters, you have to learn how to match people’s energy, darling. A closed mouth never gets fed, remember that. When it comes to love, it feels like you can attract people who are not on the same wavelength as you. There’s a dynamic that I am thinking of where one person is more talkative than the other. The talkative person believes that they are talking too much because the quiet one isn’t saying anything. Why don’t you say anything, Pile 3A? Are you embarrassed to be seen in a way that would require vulnerability resulting in your mask coming off? I feel like a healthy love for you requires an extra dose of intimacy even though it makes you uncomfortable. Getting out of your comfort zone is a must for you. You also need to be okay with accepting help/assistance from your partner. You cannot do everything by yourself. Anyone that lets you do everything is not the ‘somebody’ for you. And lastly, healthy love is empowering for you. Your healthy partner will introduce you to new activities that will make you feel brand new.

Cards Used: Two of Discs, The Hermit, The Emperor, Ace of Swords, Eight of Swords, 7 of Cups, King of Discs, 2 of Wands, The High Priestess

extras: beyonce energy. nature. empty laundry basket. 11 something. expensive perfume. sheer.

Pile 3B: This is what happens when you put two middle children in a relationship. Pile 3B, I feel like there is this unconscious need to dominate your partner. Why is that? You are supposed to feel seen by your partner and if you aren’t being seen, then you need to say that. If the roles are flipped and you feel dominated but aren’t saying anything, then you need to express that. This relationship feels new. Yes, you have a good relationship on the surface but say it or be ready to have a shit ton of problems. I think that you’re submissive in the bedroom and want those roles to remain the same outside of the bedroom as well. However, it cannot be that way. For your healthy partnership, I feel like quickies will be beneficial for you, lol. I think this pile has a sexual nature to them and it cannot be ignored. I also feel like gentle words of affirmation are a must for the both of you. Call them beautiful. Allow yourself to be complimented as well. And remember, you are a team. Y’all aren’t each other’s oppositions. Switching roles day in and day out will remind you guys that the presence/absence is felt! Now, kiss!

Cards Used: 7 of Cups, King of Discs, Judgment. 8 of Wands, The Hermit, The Moon, Death, 9 of Discs, The Chariot, 5 of Wands, Wheel of Fortune (RX), Queen of DIscs.

extras: heater cord. dominatrix. motivation. grace-giver. flirtatious. pick-up lines. call me maybe.

Pile 4A: For my singles of Pile Four! Is your devil-may-care attitude affecting the outcome of your relationships? (Yes, it is). Pile 4A, I feel like your need to seem nonchalant has run its course. I feel like you’ve been told about yourself enough so there’s no point in me telling you what you already know. But remember this, in an equal relationship, you must sacrifice your ego. Put your pride aside and let them know how you feel. I don’t think you’ve ever been in a relationship before or you haven’t been in a labeled relationship. In order to be in a healthy relationship, you have to act like you want to be there, first of all! Don’t entertain people just because they like you or because you’re bored. That’s mean and it wastes people’s time. I think that you also have to keep in mind that if you are returning to the same dynamic, you are part of the problem dawg. A healthy relationship for you is a relationship where you do not hold onto the same expectations and instead, you are encouraged to do better. It’s something that transforms you and helps you acknowledge where all of your behaviors came from. It’s something that helps you flourish into a more mature, grown-up version of yourself. It’s all up to you whether or not you take this advice. Either way, you have to do better, Pile 4A.

Cards Used: Four of Discs, The Magician, Nine of Discs, Two of Cups, King of Wands (RX), Death.

extras: “too high to care”. eyeballing. free-for-all. attack on titan. blue faces. paramore. “give it up, deelishis”.

Pile 4B: I feel like the person this pile is with currently definitely wants to get married/have children with their person. But this rough patch is incredibly steep, Pile 4B. So I will ask the following questions for this pile: Do you feel obligated to tolerate your person? Is there anyone that is talking you out of fights with this person? If so, do they pick sides? Is the relationship dynamic fixable? Ask yourself these questions and answer honestly. A healthy love for you is something that makes you feel safe and comforted. It allows you to feel free. It does not make you feel carried away with life nor is it overwhelming. A love that is for you and you only. But I feel that this union is meant to be fought for because the amount of passion that both of you bring to the table is once-in-a-lifetime. I am channeling the energy of Rebecca and Jack Pearson from This is Us. Their energies were definitely meant for each other! I’m not saying you should ignore your feelings but really think about how this healthy love looks in your life, Pile 4B. It may seem worse than what it is, but it’s not. The channeled song is ironic because it’s like you think you’re the couple arguing on the song but you’re not! Good days are on the way.

Cards Used: Death, 7 of Discs, 7 of Wands, The Star (RX), Queen of Cups, The Hierophant, Justice, The Hanged Man, 4 of Wands, 7 of Cups, 8 of Swords (RX), Ten of Discs.

extras: arranged. hbo max. “what’s on tv?” sewerage. cowardly. “baby moms.” dog days are over. couples therapy. courthouse.

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solarwonux · 4 years ago

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24H || Seuncheol

mechanic!seungcheol x reader

soulmate!au

w.c: 6.5k

warnings: talks of death, angst, self doubt

note: hello everyone I am not completely back yet, I am still on hiatus. I have been writing this one shot since the release of 24H. I have rewritten it many many many times and have a abandoned it many times as well. Anyway, this is the finished product and I hope you guys like it as much as I do. Thank you for reading and please let me know your thoughts. And thank you @sunlightwoo for literally witnessing it all lol.

Also maybe one day I’ll post the original draft of this one if anyone is interested.

P.S. this is a part of a soulmate universe in which all the members are going to have a story, but that’s gonna take a little while lol, but I hope you all stick around until them

masterlist

Hour 1 - 17:00

Seungcheol threw the wrench on the pile of tools next to him before rolling himself out from underneath the car he was working on. “I don’t see the point in it, Shua.” He sat up, grabbing the towel he had next to him, and tried his best to wipe the black smudges of his fingers. “I’m already a disappointment to my parents, why not add one more to their list?” He shrugged, eyeing his best friend who had decided to come and visit him at the car shop he worked at.

“I think Shua has a point; you can’t brush this off. You don’t want to end up forgotten in a ditch somewhere.” Jeonghan said, pointedly resting his forearms on top of the hood of the car he had been working on.

“I’m not going to end up in a ditch and forgotten. The higher-ups--” Seungcheol stuck a pointer finger out and pointed at the cement ceiling, “are just going to set me up with someone.” He stood up and brushed off his whitewashed jeans, the only ones he seemed to wear as they had various oil stains etched into the creases of the fabric. In actuality, he had many of the same pair, and each of them had their own unique patterns of different oil stains.

“But wouldn’t it be better if you married your soulmate, your other half, your partner in crime, the person the Stars destined you to be with,” Joshua spoke in rushed sentences as he ran a frustrated hand through his jet black hair. His wedding ring shining in the light of the sun, glowing in all its glory. A reminder that he had chosen the path that he and Jeonghan were trying to get Seungcheol to take.

Sometimes curiosity would seep in s when he saw how happy his best friends were with their soulmates, or when the ticking of the clock scarred into the skin of his wrist, and got too loud to ignore. Seungcheol knew he didn’t belong on that path. He was never one to follow the crowd, and the proof was in his parent’s disappointment when he decided to study music instead of medicine.

“Nope.” He stood up and closed the hood of the car. He could feel their glares burning holes into his scalp as he strode over and opened the driver’s door. “I’m a firm believer that soulmates are made not found.” Seungcheol grinned before getting behind the wheel and inserting the keys into the ignition. He had spent all morning working on a minor problem in the engine; he was hoping that after many failed attempts, he would finally be able to get the car to start again.

With a deep sigh, he turned the key listening as the engine sputtered a few times. The hope and confidence he had gained diminishing with each hiccup until, finally, the car roared back to life. A sigh of relief leaving his chapped lips along with a light laugh. He rested his forearms against the old battered steering wheel, peering through the windshield, catching Joshua’s nod of disapproval. He turned on his heels and walked out of the large garage door of the shop.

Seungcheol knew his friend’s meant well, and he knew they didn’t want him to end up unhappy with someone that wasn’t his other half. But how was he supposed to be sure that happiness was a given? When at the end of the day, everyone’s given soulmate was chosen at birth by a group of old white dudes calling themselves Stars.

Hour 2 - 18:00

“What are you going to do then?” Jeonghan closed the hood of the car and dusted his hands. His blonde hair grasped the light of the afternoon sun. Seungcheol placed down the paper bag that contained his and Jeonghan’s lunch on top of the aluminum table they kept in the far corner of the shop. “I don’t know...eat lunch.” He stated, shrugging and started taking the contents out of the paper bag. “Shua leave?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the hood of the car. He strode over to where Seungcheol was and took the burrito he had held out to him. “Said he doesn’t want to stay and watch you ruin his life.”

“I’m not ruining my life,” Seungcheol sighed, shaking his head and sat on top of the table, unwrapping his burrito. “I’m choosing the road not taken.” He finished before taking a decent bite out of his burrito.

“That’s ruining your life in my book.” Jeonghan gave him a pointed look and unwrapped the foil of his burrito, cursing when he noticed some its contents start to fall out of its confinement. “Aren’t you at least a little bit curious about how they look?” He dug inside the paper bag and took out a napkin to clean off the salsa stain of his grey graphic tee. Jeonghan rarely dressed down, unless he was working. Though, sometimes he’d show up in outfits Seungcheol always deemed to clean for the oil splatters he would obtain throughout the day.

“If looks were the all end tell-all, you’d be an actor instead of the owner of your father’s car shop.”

“Are you calling me sexy, Choi Seungcheol?” Jeonghan gasped, making the other boy scoff in annoyance. Seungcheol took another bite of his burrito, the salsa running down the stubble of his chin and sighed. “Cause may I remind you I am happily married.” Jeonghan jokes, raising his hand, wiggling his ring finger.

Seungcheol squinted as the ring got caught in the crossfire between the heat and summer sun. The churning at the pit of his stomach started up again, along with the little voice annoying voice that lived in the back of his head. The red block of numbers on the inside of his wrist laughing at him as he tried his best to push the thought to the back of his head. Like he had done his entire life.

“Sure...but that would just be an excuse, and it wouldn’t be fair towards the other person.” He shrugged, finally cleaning his chin the rest of his mouth. He crumpled up the foil in his hands before throwing the ball he had formed into the paper bag. “It wouldn’t matter soon anyway; I don’t have much time left.” He jumped off the table and made his way to shelves where they kept most of the tools along with small spare car parts they might need some time in the future.

“How much time do you have left?” Jeonghan asked a little too exasperatedly than he would’ve liked, but Seungcheol had managed to catch his tone, and it was starting to make him feel uneasy. He closed a drawer he had mindlessly opened and dropped his head. Seungcheol hated looking at his timer because it never brought a good reaction out of him. He hated the way the anxiety would filter in through his veins as he let his mind wander to the what-ifs.

For as long as he could remember, he only allowed himself to stare at the number scar before bed but never enough to dwell on it. Last night he had twenty-four hours left; now he was positive the timer had reached the single-digit zone, and to be frank, he was afraid. He didn’t want to feel the pressure against his chest and the shortness of his breath. He didn’t want to feel the shaking in his hands and sweat that formed against his brow bone. Seungcheol had already chosen, but he knew that the second he glanced over at the timer, his doubt would start to run free. And he hated that feeling more than anything, but he also hated Jeonghan’s burning gaze staring him down as if he were doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. So he caved.

He turned his wrist and pushed the bracelets he used to hide his soulmate mark with his other hand. His breath caught itself in the back of his throat, his lungs closing in like two crushing walls as he saw the numbers ticking down. For a split second, he wondered if he had chosen the right path if his parent’s and his friends had been right all along. But he had been so sure just like he was confident that his name was Choi Seungcheol, that he had chosen right, so why was he letting his thoughts take over.

Maybe it was the teachings of the Stars he grew up reading at home and at school, or the guilt has finally started to consume him. Whatever it was, he decided to push it aside, bury it deep inside the archives of his mind. He had chosen right, and he wasn’t going to let any false pretenses change his mind.

“Five hours.”

Hour 3 - 19:00

Seungcheol moved the straw of his bubble, creating soft caramel tidal waves in the cup. He had already picked out all the tapioca pearls leaving him to deal with the unpleasant honeydew tea he had ordered. The soft melodies of an old pop song played in the background, drowning out the flirting going on between the lovers in front of him. He kept his eyes trained on his cup; it had started to accumulate the condensation that came with the humidity of the summertime. His index finger traced over the water droplets that had fallen onto the table, creating a small picture of nothing.

Jeonghan had dragged him to their usual boba shop after closing up the shop for the night. He had given Joshua a frantic phone call, claiming it was a 911 type of emergency. Seungcheol wasn’t sure how they weren’t tired at having the same conversation, and why they couldn’t let him live with the consequences in peace? If he ended up unhappy, that was his problem, and he would eventually deal with it, but he couldn’t stand the way everyone around him always seemed to have an opinion on how he should live his life.

It had started the day he was born, scarred with a mark against his own will. It carried out onto his childhood, his parents and teachers telling him how to sit, how to dress, how to speak, and how to breathe. When he left for college the same day his parents decided to disown him, he had finally felt free. He thought for himself, walked for himself and lived for himself. But now his best friend’s the ones he thought he could always count on and he felt knew him better than anyone in the world. Where the ones were trying to guilt-trip him into making a choice, he had made years ago, and frankly, he was getting really tired of it.

“Are you even listening to us Seungcheol, this is your future you're putting at risk,” Joshua whispered angrily, his grip on his cup grew tight enough his knuckles had started turning white.

“Why does it matter?” Seungcheol lightly flicked the straw of his drink before pushing it away and crossing his arms. Jeonghan and Joshua both looked at him as if he was growing a third head, annoying him even more. He wasn’t sure why this was such a big deal to them, it wasn’t their life getting ruined.

“It matters because we don’t want to see you dead.”

Hour 4 - 20:00

“Are you serious? Do you guys actually believe that kind of stuff?” Seungcheol shook his head and looked out the restaurant window. The sun had finished going down for it’s deep slumber and in return awakened the night life of the city. He took in the people smiling and laughing as they joked and clinged onto one another. He saw limbs start to give out as the alcohol they had previously consumed started to replace their blood. Seungcheol found himself wishing he was one of those people, where the one controlling his body wasn’t the one that gave up on their dreams but instead still held onto that small sliver of hope. It would at least be an escape for a little and most importantly it would be an escape from the painful talk his best friend’s were giving him.

“Fuck you Seungcheol.” Joshua spat out, quickly he stood up grabbing his coat and shrugged it on. “I’m not going to stay with you and watch the clock count down until you die.” He stuffed his hands in his pocket and took out his wallet before throwing some money onto the table. “Are you coming with me?” He said before facing Jeonghan who was biting his bottom lip in contemplation. Seungcheol saw the gears turn in his head as he thought over his options, his eyes traveling between the furious looking Joshua and himself.

“Joshua calm down, look there have been some cases in the news lately of mysterious deaths and the only thing they have in common is that their timers went out before they got to meet their soulmate. I don’t know if it's all connected but it can’t just be coincidence Seungcheol.” Jeonghan stated, he tapped his forefinger against the wooden table as Joshua eyed him down waiting impatiently.

“And what if it is, what if I do find this person and then they turn out to be horrible? You guys got lucky but my life has never been a series of unfortunate events since the beginning of time so who's to say this is any different?”

“If you keep sitting here and mopping and feeling sorry for yourself, you’ll never find out.” Jeonghan nodded before taking out his wallet and throwing money onto the table. He hated the pity he saw behind his eyes. It only frustrated him because to him it felt like they had given up on him already. That they were planning his funeral without him leaving the world yet. Seungcheol wasn’t entirely convinced that death was at the end of this unfortunate journey, he sadly hoped it was. That way his friend’s would actually have something to pity, but he was alive and healthy (for the most part) so their pity in Seungcheol’s eyes was uncalled for.

“Then let me find out. Everyone is always telling me what I should and shouldn’t do, I didn’t need you guys to also be one of those people too. You’re supposed to be my friends but here you are nagging me like you’re my parents. If I’m not worthy of hanging with you guys anymore because I’m not married and I have no interest in ever getting married then just leave me alone. I’m better off by myself anyway.”

Seungcheol knew that as soon as the words left his mouth they had been a mistake, but mistake or not he would never take them back. No matter how the luck of hurt flashing in their handsome features affected him more than it should’ve. These few hours could be the last of his life and instead of living it to his fullest with his closest friends he was pushing them away. Just like he always did whenever he felt too comfortable or afraid.

“Jeonghan let’s just go, he’s already made up his mind. He’s not going to listen to us.” Joshua sighed, the exhaustion was evident on his face. It was clear he had given up long before the events of tonight. He knew how stubborn Seungcheol was, he knew that once he sets his mind to something there’s no way to turn it back. Seungcheol suspected that’s why he hadn’t tried as hard as Jeonghan to convince him to change his mind.

“Cheol, just think about it okay. You don’t have to go out and actively look for that person but just keep an open mind and they might just appear right before you. I know you think that we’re trying to do this to change you or to get you to settle down, but we don’t want to turn on the news tomorrow and have your names be part of one of the victims. If you can’t do this for us or yourself at least do it for you mom.” Jeonghan nodded one last time before scooting himself out of the booth. He stood sending a glare to Joshua that wasn’t missed by Seungcheol and somehow it made him feel uneasy inside. He didn’t want to be the one to cause a rift between him and Joshua’s friendship, they had known each other longer than they had known Seungcheol. For half of their life’s Seungcheol was simply an outsider between the threesome. He didn’t know at what moment they became inseparable, but now he wished they hadn’t.

At least they wouldn’t be involved in the webs of Seungcheol’s complicated life, and they certainly wouldn’t be here showing the utmost care for him when he himself felt like he was unworthy of it.

“I’ll call you tomorrow” Jeonghan mumbled before dragging Joshua out of the restaurant, mumbling angrily underneath his breath. Seungcheol knew the small comment was Jeonghan’s way of holding onto the little amount of hope he had for his friend. The hope that he would walk into the car shop tomorrow morning and see Seungcheol passed out drunk, his drool stain embedded into the checkered pattern of the old battered couch in the office, because he couldn’t remember how to unlock his front door.

Though, it was a phrase full of hope, it wasn’t a promise, and it felt more like a goodbye to Seungcheol. It made him uneasy and Seungcheol hated feeling uneasy because it only made the ticking sound of the clock tattooed onto his skin louder.

The front door bell to the restaurant sounded, signaling that someone had walked in or out. He turned to face out the window again and saw Jeonghan and Joshua in a heated argument before Jeonghan kept dragging him away by the ear this time. The scene could’ve been comical to him at some point, but now he just wondered if they were all going to be okay by the time the night ended and morning came again.

Either way it was clear to him that they had walked out of his life, maybe not for good but they also wouldn’t be the first ones either.

Hour 5 -21:00

Seungcheol paid the bill and exited the restaurant quietly, his best attempt to remain invisible. It would be a lie if didn’t admit how scared he was after Jeonghan and Joshua left him alone with his thoughts for the first time since he awoke that morning.

Would his faith really be death?

Or where they using their evil tactics against him to convince him to do the right thing. Needless to say he was scared, more scared than he ever was whenever he thought about falling in love.

He had once, a long time ago, back when he was still studying music production in college, before he dropped out and took up a job at Mr. Yoon’s carshop. During the three years he was there, all the songs he had composed resembled something about her. Whether it was a phrase she had said or the way the color blue seemed to make her honey doe eyes pop. He was in love, head over heels, ready to give it all up, his friends, his pride, his dream, his life, everything under the sun, for her. He had his bags packed long before she had agreed to run away with him.

In fact, he almost did, but the morning as he stood underneath the winter sun, waiting at the bus stop with two overprized one way tickets, with his fingers threatening to fall off from the cool. Everything became clear to him, she had abandoned him and their plan. She had given up on him, just like his parents had when he first told him he was going to follow his dream, instead of theirs.

Seungcheol was angry, it boiled inside of him like an overflowing calderon, and the closer he got to the university and his dorm, the more it spilled over. In a frenzy he had entered his home and destroyed everything he owned. His studio setup, his computer, his many notebooks that were filled with lyrics, because everything had been touched by her and he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Not after she had lied boldly to his face the night before when they shared the most intimate moment with each other.

And just like he promised to her underneath the moonlight, he gave it all up, but this time because she had broken him.

There was a letter she had left for him to find. It didn’t come into his possession after he had stopped attending classes and was living on Jeonghan and Joshua’s couch. The university had called him to pick up his belongings from his dorm after he dropped all his classes on whim one Saturday afternoon. When he did, when he opened the front door of the wretched dorm room, the room that once held so many beautiful memories turned sour. The toe of his shoe was met with a brown paper envelope, his name scribbled neatly on the back. Instantly he knew who it was from.

Seungcheol had once prided himself in memorizing the way her letters curved with one another. A useless talent he now wished he could forget entirely. With a hesitant he opened it and skimmed through, not wanting to linger long enough on every single one of her words so it would hurt less.

In the end it did.

It hurt more than her leaving him stranded on the bus stop that morning. It hurt more than finding out that the little things she had strategically left at his place had mysteriously disappeared when he came back home that morning. It hurt more than giving up entirely on a dream so pure that it ended up tainted. It hurt more than dying, or so he assumed because now he finally knew the truth. A truth he had been blinded to the entire three years they spent lost in each other’s thoughts and arms.

She didn’t love, and she never did. She had a passion that consumed her to the point of greed and when she realized she wasn’t going to achieve her dream with Seungcheol at her side.

She left and he had given up love for good.

Which is why Seungcheol was so against the entire soulmate phenomenon. If death was the outcome then so be it, even though the thought of his mom finding him out he was dead scared him to the point it welcomed chills to his body. He was stubborn though, and his father always hated that about him because it reminded him of his younger self. But Seungcheol was never going to give in, no matter how loud the click on his wrist was ticking and how fast he found himself walking.

There was a little bit of hope. It was reserved for special occasions and those had been a rarity in Seungcheol’s life for longer than he liked to admit. But it was still there, buried deep inside, behind his walls and his pride. And it was threatening to burst out into the open, because as much as Seuncheol was scared of falling in love again, this time with a complete stranger, terrified him. The thought of not knowing if his life was really at stake was far scarier. He was gambling with his life line and that was a risk he found himself not willing to take. Though he would never admit to himself and especially not to Jeonghan or Joshua.

He was in complete denial at least for a slight second. Yet, he had started to walk with fever and hastily. He was desperate, he didn’t know where to start or how to start or if he should even start. He just walked, until his body was running on autopilot. He didn’t know where he was going or where he was going to end up, but the only thing on his mind was that the timer was blaring inside of his eardrums at an alarming rate, and the hope he kept at bay spilling out of his pores.

He needed to find his soulmate before it was too late.

Seungcheol didn’t want to die, he still had a dream to achieve. He will do it, he had promised himself that much. And he wasn’t going to let anyone take it away from again.

Hour 6 - 22:00

Seungcheol was panting, bending over, with his sweaty palms against his jean clad legs as tried his best to put the air back in his lungs.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been walking, all he could remember was bumping into a few people along the way and mumbling sorry’s underneath his breath when they had sent him glares his way. But he had ended up at the park across the street from his studio apartment, the one he rarely lived in because more often than not. The old raggedy couch at the car shop had been his home for as long as he had worked there. He had bought it last year after saving up enough money, in hopes of it becoming his new beginning, his safe space, where he could jump right back into working on his one goal in life.

Though, the first night he had spent there, he had hated it. Occasionally he would give it a second chance. He had given it many second chances, but the outcome was always the same. He would stay awake until four in the morning, get frustrated and then end up running laps at the park until sunrise.

This park had been his sanctuary, the one his apartment couldn’t provide, so it was no surprise his body had carried him here. He felt at home here, the hollowing of the wind chiming and wrapping around him like a blanket of safety. Here, in this park, Seungcheol felt comfortable enough to let his mind race through the thoughts he would keep hidden behind a wall.

He straightened himself out, running his fingers through his wet sweaty hair and made his way to the park bench by the basketball court, where he would occasionally lay down in the middle and look at the sky, counting the lack of stars in the sky. He knew they were there, but because of the city's light pollution they were invisible to his eye. Those were the only stars he trusted, not the ones that used the Universe’s gifts for their own selfish desires and to control everyone.

The stars in the night sky, the one’s he used his imagination and intuition to connect with, trusted him. They were the only one’s in his life that believed in him, even when he couldn’t believe in himself, and it made him feel at ease knowing that at least someone out there was rooting for him to win this losing battle.

Seungcheol took a deep sigh and placed his palm over the watch on the inside of his wrist. He had only two hours left, and he would rather not witness the time ticking down. He could hear it, it was drumming loudly against his eardrums, loud enough to the point in which he couldn’t hear the wind and the tree’s surrounding him singing their natural melody. The last thing he needed was to see the visual representation of his last breath nearing him.

He wanted to fight, but he was tired. If tonight was his last night living a life he had been so cruel to. He would at least take his last breath at the place he felt most at home.

So, he sat back and closed his eyes tightly. He felt the wind against his cooling skin, the familiar shivers running up his spine. For the first time since he woke up that morning he felt at peace.

Hour 7 - 23:00

The ringing of his phone startled him. He had only had his eyes closed for about five minutes. Only five minutes of peace before it was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He let out a frustrated sigh and fished out his phone from the pocket of his oil stained light washed jeans. His gaze and heart softened when he realized his mother was the one calling him. Without hesitation he unlocked his phone and placed his phone to his ear.

Silence. He was met with silence, until a choked sob broke it, his heart shattering in the process. “M-Mom, what’s wrong?” Seungcheol sat up. His eyes grew wide. The anxiety running through his body making his leg bounce.

“Joshua called me. He was freaking out saying that you were making a mistake. What is talking about? You’re not thinking about leaving again?” His mom spoke. Seungcheol could visualize the almost heart attack Joshua had given his mother when he called. He could visualize the color draining from her face as her hands shook while she dialed his number. Seungcheol’s mother was an over thinker and she always thought about the worst possible scenarios. Especially when it came to Seungcheol and his brother. Joshua knew what he was doing when he had called his mother. He knew that his mother was his weakness. Despite the differences they argued about over the years, Seungcheol loved his mother and knowing she was in such distress because of him, scared him more than what he already was.

“Nothing mom, he’s over exaggerating. Jeonghan, him and I had a small argument earlier but it’s nothing mom. I’m okay.” He spoke into the receiver lying through his teeth. He wasn’t fine, although he was in his sanctuary and at peace. His timer finally reached the fifty-nine minute mark and his heart was racing to the point he was scared it would literally squeeze through the spaces between his ribs and rip through the safety of his skin, onto the concrete pavement beneath his feet.

“Are you sure? He sounded really scared and worried, what did you guys fight about?” The words came rushing out of her mouth at lighting speed. He knew that question was coming and although he tried scouring through the files in his mind to come up with a concrete answer that would make his mother worry less. He couldn’t. There was no answer he could give her. If she lied she would know, but if he told the truth, his mother would certainly never be able to recover.

He knew he could prevent her heartbreak. All he had to do was get up and start walking again, let his feet carry him as his intuition and the Universe led him to where he needed to be, but he stayed seated. His hand closing into a fist taking the roughness of his jeans between them, the frustration, fear and anxiety coursing through his veins faster than before. Maybe if he wasn’t such a coward, maybe if he didn’t let his own selfishness consume him to the point it clouded his judgment, he could’ve let himself do what he needed to do. What he wanted to do.

“It’s not a big deal, Jeonghan asked him to be his best man and I got a little upset. Tomorrow we’ll be fine and laugh about it.” He said letting out the breath he had been holding in. He knew he sounded like he had just ran a few miles rather than sitting down in complete silence and stillness.

“I know you’re lying but I have been able to get the truth out of you, so I’ll drop it. At least I know you’re okay and you’re still here.” Seungcheol’s mother stopped speaking for a second, he could hear his father whispering something to her and his mother answering in agreement. “Visit us tomorrow, your brother is coming over tomorrow for dinner. Your dad wants to see you.” She half whispered the last part and it brought a slight smile to his face. For years Seungcheol and his father had not been on good terms, whenever they saw each other, his future always became the topic of conversation. His father always shared his disapproval and disappointment on how Seungcheol’s life had turned out. His father expected too much from both him and his brother, he had dreams in which he had tried to instill in them. It wasn’t enough that one of his sons had achieved his dream, his pride was attached to the two of them. And knowing that Seungcheol always refused, always followed the beat of his own drum, wounded his pride.

His mother and brother always tried their best to bridge the gap between them that had only grown deeper over the years.

Seungcheol admired their commitment, but just being in his father’s presence fully aware of how he felt towards him was only a simple reminder of what he did not want to become, and it only made him resent him even more.

“I don’t know mom, I work until late tomorrow and I wouldn’t have enough time to go home shower and change. Maybe some other time.” Seungcheol whispered. The wind blew causing a single leaf to escape its perspective branch. Seungcheol watched it closely as it flew down, landing on his lap. He picked it up in between his forefinger and thumb, twirling the steam as he listened to his mother sigh out.

“Just come after work...it’s important.”

Seungcheol wanted to say yes. The simple three letter word was one of the hardest ones to say. With the urgency in his mother’s voice, he knew that she wasn’t lying and that whatever his father had to tell him. It was important. But Seungcheol didn’t want to make a promise he could not keep. For he didn’t know if his tomorrow would ever come. If the last thirty minutes (indicated by the timer on his wrist) would be the last thirty minutes of his life.

He wondered if it was possible for time to run faster than before, and the quick ticking sound in his head proved that he was right. It was now drowning out the sound of his mother’s low and desperate pleas.

“M-Mom I’ll see what I can do, maybe if Jeonghan is in a good mood I can convince him to let me off early, I’ll try to be there by dinner time.” The almost empty promise escaped his throat, running past his teeth and perfect lips faster than he could stop himself.

“Perfect. We’ll see you tomorrow.” His mother cheered. He could hear and sense her happiness through the receiver of his phone and it shattered his heart. When tomorrow came and what Jeonghan and Joshua both claimed to be true would happen. What would be his mother’s reaction?

“I’ll try mom, you know I’m not good at keeping promises.” He half joked, the tears had started to pool in the corner of his eyes. He looked up at the night sky, making eye contact with the moon. They had once been intimate, but over the last few months they had been disconnected, the stars surrounding her protecting her from his own selfish needs and acts. He missed her, he wished he could feel her light upon his skin, caressing him and holding him in ways he wanted to be held. Ways in which he needed to be held. Though, he could feel her reluctance as he took in her beauty. She was there with him, keeping him company as the last twenty minutes of his life counted down.

“You always find a way to keep them Seungcheol. I’ll see you tomorrow night. I love you.”

“I love you too mom.” He whispered before the line went dead. Seungcheol sighed, bringing down his phone from his ear. He stared at his mother’s contact name, trying to decide if he should call her back again. Tell her that he wasn’t fine that he was scared and that he wanted to be in her arms, singing the song she always sang to him whenever his imagination betrayed him, plaguing his dreams with nightmares. But he didn’t again, his own pride and reluctance, the one he gets from his father and the reason why they clash so much kept him calling her back.

Instead he looked at his timer one last time, noted that there were ten minutes left and placed his phone down next to him on the bench. He took in his surroundings one last time before leaning his back and closing his tired soft eyes.

Hour 8: 24:00

“Excuse me?”

Seungcheol opened his eyes upon hearing the sound of the soft voice behind him and the light tap on his shoulder. He sat up quickly looking around frantically. He only had five minutes left and his peace had been disturbed. He turned around his gaze falling upon someone he had only seen in his dreams.

“You dropped your phone.” You said shakingly, handing him his phone. He assumed that it had fallen through the cracks of the bench; he had been so deep in his thoughts he didn’t hear the thud of it hitting the ground.

“Oh um, thank you.” He spoke quickly, taking his phone. His fingers accidentally brushed over the soft skin of your wrist, the familiar digital clock appearing before him and the ticking sound became loud enough to the point he couldn’t hear the nagging voice that had stayed with him for the last twenty five years of his life. Quickly he glanced down to his wrist and then at yours, he could feel the fear radiating out of your pores as the seconds counted down faster than the speed of light.

Seungcheol almost laughed. In fact he felt the laugh suppressing itself in the back of his throat. But as the timer finally reached the infamous zero’s, his last breath didn’t come, and neither did yours. He watched as you looked around frantically before your eyes found his. You let out the sob you had been suppressing for the entirety of the day. Your knees gave up on you and you leaned down hugging your calves, burying your face into your thighs, the sobs came quickly and Seungcheol sat there not knowing what to do.

It was like his body was acting on his and he stood up, rounding the corner of the bench and crouched down. His shaking arms wrapped around you tightly, running a soothing hand down your back, smoothing out the wrinkles of your navy blue sweatshirt.

The next words we muttered, were words he never thought he would say again. But again it felt like he wasn’t in control of his body. It felt like after the timer hit the long awaited double zero’s his body belonged to someone else, almost as if he had been reborn again after twenty five years.

“It’s okay, I am here.”

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oodlyenough · 3 years ago

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psychonauts 2 review!

I played the first few-ish (not many... I'd guesstimate under 4) hours of the original Psychonauts years ago, but found it unruly to control and never progressed further. I remember thinking the concept was neat, though, and when I heard a sequel was coming I figured I'd check it out, since it'd presumably be more polished.

The sequel is very very good. I think it is the best game I've played this year. It's also maybe the most creative game I've played... ever.

When Rift Apart came out, a lot of reviews said it was "like a playable Pixar game". Having played (and enjoyed!) Rift Apart as well, I gotta say while that may be true in image fidelity, in basically every other respect I think Psychonauts 2 comes closer. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who's ever enjoyed this kind of platformer.

More detail and possible spoilers:

I'll start with the cons, because there aren't very many:

I posted early on that I found jumping kind of unwieldy/frustrating, which is bad for a platformer. Although I got better at it as I got used to the controls, I still did run into scenarios where I was creating a thought bubble while trying to wall jump, or rolling off the edge of a platform I'd just landed on, or otherwise just finding jumping clumsy. I turned off fall damage pretty early for this reason; it was infuriating to just keep dying because I couldn't make a clumsy jump, and then respawn with increasingly limited health.

(Also, fwiw, because I know gamers were losing their damn minds about this when it was announced, turning off fall damage doesn't allow you to skip out on executing all the platforming. You just don't respawn with a health penalty if you fail. You still have to eventually time it right.)

A few hours after turning off fall damage, I turned off combat damage too. So I guess I can't really evaluate the smoothness or difficulty of combat fairly, because uh... I was immortal. This is just me as a player though -- I played large chunks of Spiderman & Miles Morales & Rift Apart on immortality mode. Boss fights simply do not spark joy for me; I want to progress a story without repeating a segment several times. I will say, in this mode, combat was fairly repetitive, mainly just psi blasting and meleeing everything. I kept thinking about turning it off, to maybe appreciate the challenge or figure out other techniques.... but I really just wanted to keep progressing the story, so I never did.

HOWEVER... there's a ton of extremely profitable games where combat is literally just "shoot", so, even then I wouldn't hold it against Psychonauts much.

I'm an idiot I guess and didn't realize levelling up skills was a separate thing from buying pins to augment the skills. So I played like a good chunk of the game with every skill at level 0 lmfao.

Easily my least favourite level is the first one, which I think is a bit unfortunate... I don't have, like, a dental phobia and I was still not really enjoying that part, and compared to how colourful and cool and imaginative the other worlds are it just seems like it starts the game off on a weird foot.

I know some purists are reading this like SO YOU PLAYED A GAME WITH NO DAMAGE AT ALL? Yep and I appreciate DoubleFine allowing me to do so. ✌🏻

And then onto the pros:

Like... everything else?

Playing Rift Apart this summer made me feel like a kid again, as a someone who grew up on cartoony platformers like Spyro and who still craves the satisfaction of first discovering you can charge that cracked wall and find an orb behind it. Psychonauts 2 had all that fun of exploring maps and finding secret, hidden locations and collectibles... on top of having the most creative and varied level design I've ever seen.

Seriously the levels were gorgeous. I was constantly spinning the camera around to take in all the little details, and there were SO MANY different levels where the gimmick would surprise and delight me. Almost every level for me was like "omg how did they think of that". Even when I was getting irritated by (for eg) the unruliness of trying to steer a giant bowling ball down a precise ramp, I was at least marvelling at the ingenuity involved.

The script was wonderful. Funny, charming, clever in its use of metaphor, and genuinely touching at times. If ever anything felt a little bit simplified, well, it's a kid-friendly game... I can't be too mad about that.

Raz is so endearing! It's very easy for the plucky young kid character to uh, become grating, but I always found Raz charming and I was rooting for him. Richard Horvitz is so good.

TBH all the characters were super lovable and funny. In a giant cast of cartoons I don't think there was a single one where I'd be like "ugh, this guy again" which is quite a feat honestly. They were all charming and well-acted and bursting with dialogue.

Even the random NPCs around the motherlobe who have their own progressing storylines via conversations... I love that detail! It was one of my favourite parts of Life is Strange: True Colours and I was delighted when I realized it was happening in this game too. It was fun to check in on some of your faves as the game progressed.

I'm pretty thorough, and I love exploring maps, and boy do these maps have a lot to explore, especially the hub areas. I STILL haven't figured out how to get everywhere in the Questionable Area, lol, or gotten every psy card, etc.

I like the music, especially the music in the quarry area that absolutely makes me feel like I am walking around Epcot. Perfect vibe. (And the Small World knock-off music in Nick's brain lmao...)

As soon as the projection started talking I was like, "this is GIR, right? This is intentionally a Zim and Gir thing?" So I felt validated by checking IMDB after lmao.

Ummm... I think that's about it. Honestly great game. I might give Psychonauts 1 another go... although I'd say there's a high chance I instead watch it on YouTube, lol.

#psychonauts 2 #psychonauts

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makeste · 4 years ago

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top 20 favorite quirks

okay, but listen, though! it’s exactly what it says in the title. not best quirks, or most useful quirks, or most creative quirks. not even coolest quirks! I did try to take all of these things into consideration when choosing, but honestly? by far the most important factor was, “I JUST THINK THEY’RE NEAT.”

anyway but let me backtrack and post the actual ask.

you’ll note that at no point was I asked to pick twenty of them. I did that all on my own. so here is my list!

20. Solid Air (Tsuburaba)

Tsubaraba Kousei. all-time undefeated grand champion of The Floor Is Lava. or at least he was until Ochako came along. anyway, so this is an extremely nifty quirk with all sorts of utility ranging from defense to helping him get around. it’s super useful for catching bad guys, and apparently the only real limit is his lung capacity. this quirk has so much potential and I love it.

19. Copy (Monoma)

the fact that he can copy his opponents’ powers and use them against them is badass enough, but add in the fact that he can hold up to 3 (or 4??) of them at once -- for as long as ten minutes -- and this quirk starts getting seriously powerful. anyway so one thing you might note as you read on is that although Copy is on my favorite quirks list, AFO is not! and that’s because Monoma’s limits actually make the quirk much more interesting to me, because they force him (and Horikoshi) to get creative. this is a really fun quirk and I would love to see more of Monoma in action. about time we saw him fight some actual villains and not just class 1-A, honestly.

18. Brainwashing (Shinsou)

as with Monoma’s quirk, what really sets this apart from other mind-control superpowers (to me, anyway) is the fact that it has limitations. he can’t just control anyone at random; in order to take them over he has to get them to respond to him somehow. which leads to innovations like the voice-changer, and which as a result has made his battles so genuinely interesting and fun to watch. anyway so I really want Shinsou to hurry up and join 2-A, and for them to just give him his provisional license all “here you go, son” with no testing whatsoever, because we’re past the point of pretending the HPSC is actually responsible these days, and because I really want to see if he can help turn the tides the next time the heroes battle the League.

17. Zero Gravity (Ochako)

I feel like it’s worth noting that I don’t really have any kind of fear of heights or falling or anything like that. and so I can’t really explain why Toga using this quirk on Ms. Curious and her lackeys was hands down one of the most singularly disturbing scenes in the entire manga for me! but it was!! even now I’m wincing just thinking about it. she just lifted them all up and DROPPED THEM and they just FELL and DIED. just like that. holy fucking shit. anyway, so we should all be very grateful that Ochako is super kind and sweet and more inclined towards helping people rather than murdering them. because holy shit. anyways though this quirk is dope.

16. Erasure (Aizawa)

I once said that this quirk was “not very cinematic”, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong about anything in my life. oh, past me. you truly underestimated the dramatic impact of someone with a terrifyingly powerful quirk going in for the kill, only to be all “NANI?!” as they suddenly realize that their powers are no longer working, and the camera pans over to a man with gorgeous floating hair and intense red anime eyes. I owe you an apology, Erasure. you are cinematic AF.

15. Black Hole (Thirteen)

I really wish we got to see Thirteen fight more often. they suffer from the same “too powerful” curse as so many of the other characters and it’s a shame. anyway so Black Hole is cool af and gives me a ton of Miroku/kazaana vibes, which I freaking love. this quirk is lowkey on a Tomura-level of destructive potential, honestly, and yet no one ever talks about it?? Thirteen could literally destroy anything they touched if they wanted to?? imagine if they ever Awakened, you guys. holy shit.

14. Tape (Sero)

this power is so fucking stupid and ridiculous and completely absurd and I LOVE IT. Horikoshi really drew a skinny guy with tape elbows and was all, “so this kid is basically Spider-Man but with tape. I have not put the least bit of logical thought or creative effort into this power beyond that, and I’m not going to, either.” and somehow we all just accepted it. anyway, dubious origins aside, it’s such a versatile ability and Sero has such amazing control over it. it’s offense; it’s defense; he can use it to set traps; he can use it for maneuverability. TAPE ELBOWS CAN DO IT ALL.

13. Outburst (Ms. Joke)

when will it finally be her time. Outburst is one of those powers that sounds super dumb at first, until you really stop and think what the ability to make someone laugh at will could actually DO to people. true uncontrollable belly laughter is a totally incapacitating thing. she’d have people collapsing to the ground and practically seizing up. and good luck using your own quirk to fight back when you’re doubled over struggling to breathe and can’t even see straight because of the tears in your eyes. that’s assuming any of her opponents are even capable of thinking straight long enough to try it. like, this is such a straight up brutal ability and the fact that we have still NEVER SEEN IT is honestly infuriating.

12. Glamour (Camie)

it’s an illusion quirk. of course I have to put it on my list. illusion powers make every battle approximately 100x more entertaining. and what makes this particular power even better is that in any other series, this quirk would have been given to some Tokoyami-esque super serious emo kid. but BnHA went and gave it to Karen from Mean Girls instead. what a fucking power move. goddamn.

11. Black (Kuroiro)

according to BnHA Ultra Analysis, Kuroiro’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are rated a 4 out of 6. I still haven’t figured out if this is meant to be a burn on him or not. this kid can ninja in and out of literally any dark object in existence. if it’s nighttime, that means he can basically move wherever he wants to at will. of course he’s skilled at Appearing Out of Nowhere. so tell me then, why is it ONLY a four out of six?? how could he possibly fuck this up?? who was grading him?? DOES HE JUST SUCK. I don’t know, but anyway it’s really funny to me and also I really love this quirk.

10. Transform (Toga)

Toga went and Awakened herself right into the top ten with the reveal that not only can she mimic other people’s appearances, but that while she is transformed, she can actually use their quirks. like excuse me, what?? holy shit??? it is honestly driving me crazy that we’ve only seen this in action once. Transform is basically Plot Twist: The Quirk. I really want to see Toga use it to its full potential and infiltrate U.A. and/or spy on the HPSC and/or murder someone with their loved one’s own quirk. I WANT HER TO GIVE SOMEONE THE MAES HUGHES TREATMENT. I want her to do something so shocking that people ragequit the fucking manga lol. I know I’m always saying the manga isn’t that dark, but this is honestly the one exception where I would freaking love for it to get dark as shit. anyway so yeah. if you want to fuck with people you really couldn’t ask for a better quirk.

9. Creation (Momo)

MACGUYVER: THE QUIRK. an unlimited inventory in the hands of someone brilliant enough to actually utilize it to its full extent. what’s not to love? honestly if it were me with this quirk it would be completely useless. not only would I get hopelessly bored two seconds into trying to memorize an object’s molecular structure or whatever, but even if I DID manage to figure out how to make stuff, I would never know what to do with the stuff, or when to use it. every time a new situation cropped up I would just create a bunch of random objects in a panic. but Momo is so elegant in her problem-solving that she often needs to create only one or two things to come up with the perfect solution for something. basically this is a good quirk that becomes a truly great quirk when placed in the hands of the best possible person in the world to wield it. the quirk is awesome because Momo is awesome, and I fucking adore quirks like that (see: next entry).

8. Permeation (Mirio)

ah, Mirio. the original victim of the “too powerful to be allowed” curse. remember that time he BEAT HALF OF CLASS 1-A IN UNDER SIX SECONDS, you guys. small wonder Horikoshi couldn’t even make it through one complete villain fight with him before he had to de-quirk the poor kid. anyway, so Mirio makes this quirk look so mind-blowingly awesome that it’s easy to forget what a terrifying and fucked-up power it is in reality. “yeah it makes me blind and deaf and if I’m not careful I’ll fall into the center of the earth or splice myself in two or some shit.” what the actual fuck Mirio. but because he’s worked so hard and because Nighteye trained him so well, he’s mastered the timing to such an insane degree that he could kick Overhaul in the face without harming a single hair on Eri’s body. and honestly, there’s no way I could not love a quirk that gave us a moment like that.

7. Warp Gate (Kurogiri)

unlike SOME OTHER PEOPLE whose names start with Kuro, I would bet you that Kurogiri’s Appearing Out of Nowhere skills are a full six out of six! alas, the top ten of this list is chock full of people whose quirks are so badass that they had to be written out of the story one way or another. with Kuro at large there was technically nothing stopping the villains from just dropping in on U.A. one night to kill All Might, or rekidnap Bakugou, or whatever else they might want to do. and that’s actually a really scary thought though lol so it’s no wonder that Horikoshi was all, “yeah I’ll just have them capture him now.” anyways do you guys remember that one time in chapter 18 when Kuro used Warp Gate to create an endless loop of All Might suplexing Noumu suplexing All Might?? fucking quirks, though. wild.

6. Fiber Master (Best Jeanist)

another badass quirk, another badass quirk-user incapacitated and taken out of the story before their time. Best Jeanist is honestly terrifying. if he wanted to he could immobilize and even strangle and kill pretty much anyone in the world, whenever he fucking felt like it. that alone would be crazy enough, but then add to that that this quirk for all intents and purposes is basically telekinesis. as long as someone is wearing clothing he can move them around however he wants, as we saw in Kamino. basically, everything Hawks can do with Fierce Wings, Jeanist can probably do with his own quirk. AND THAT INCLUDES FLYING, YOU GUYS. the more I think about it the more I think we truly were robbed. I need Jeanist to come back already and fly everyone at Jakku to safety and tie Tomura to a chair with his own cape before proceeding to style his hair.

5. Rewind (Eri)

IT’S MY LIST!! I CAN PUT WHATEVER I WANT, AND IF YOU SAY I CAN’T, I’M TELLING MOM. okay but listen. everyone always rags on this quirk and how stupidly powerful it is, and look, I get it. but isn’t it kind of interesting that everyone is also always speculating over who Eri is eventually going to heal with her quirk? like, fandom is always complaining about how broken it is but at the same time they’re out here hatching all of these wild theories that center around it. and to me that indicates that in truth, this is actually an awesome quirk -- just so long as it’s used right. obviously there have to be some major limitations or else this is just “Fix Everything: The Quirk.” thankfully, Horikoshi did limit it! it’s super dangerous, she has trouble controlling it, and most importantly, it’s ridiculously slow to recharge and so she can only use it once every few months. it’s basically Recovery Girl’s quirk with a bonus slow-replenishing stamina bar that, once charged, allows her to release one ultra-powerful SUPER HEAL special move. and that’s pretty awesome. basically I think this quirk gets too much hate and not enough credit for the additional menu options it adds to the story. it’s interesting and compelling and I can’t wait to see what Horikoshi does with it.

4. Dark Shadow (Tokoyami)

TOKOYAMI WHY IS YOUR QUIRK SENTIENT. Existential Crisis: The Quirk. do quirks have souls?? if you shot Tokoyami with a quirk-be-gone bullet would Dark Shadow fucking die??? if Tomura absorbed Tokoyami’s quirk would Dark Shadow grow out of his back and be all “hey um, who the fuck are you”?? and would Toko’s head turn back into a normal human boy head?? would Dark Shadow look like Tomura instead of a bird shadow?? what even IS Dark Shadow, actually?? obviously it is not just a shadow because shadows can’t punch people or shield people from attacks or pick people up and fly them around. but yet he’s afraid of fire and grows weaker in daylight?? is Tokoyami secretly the strongest character in the entire series?? is there any way I can possibly justify putting this quirk all the way down at #4 instead of #1 where it clearly belongs?? let me answer that question by not answering it and moving on.

3. Explosion (Bakugou)

is the fix in?? is “exploding hands” really a better quirk than a fucking sentient monster man who lives in your belly button and reads your mind and is made of ~darkness energy~ and is your best friend? apparently the answer is yes! to both of those questions. yes the fix is in. I love Kacchan and his quirk is fucking awesome okay. it just never ceases to amaze me how this one single quirk, which really only does one thing, is nonetheless so spectacularly powerful that it allows Bakugou to compete on the same level as the fucking protagonist with all of his godlike super-strength and Main Character Powers and wacky SIXQUIRKS!! shenanigans. in my opinion the coolest thing about Explosion isn’t even its firepower; it’s the way Bakugou’s adapted it to fly around and to boost his speed. I think he legit may be the fastest character in the series right now, or close to it. he’s faster than Iida and Gran Torino and Endeavor. he can keep up with Deku without breaking a sweat. and he knows how to use that speed, thanks to his insane reflexes. add in the fact that this is also without a doubt the most cinematic quirk in the entire series, and I think I’m justified in putting it this high up. and anyway I still put two others up above it so shh.

2. Search (Ragdoll/Tomura)

Hey, What’s That Guy’s Deal: The Quirk. I just really love this one you guys. it’s so fucking useful. Video Game HUD: The Quirk. one hundred people at a time?? locations and weak points?? works even when you’re not looking at the person anymore and have blinked your eyes, unlike CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE’S weak-ass quirks?? check, check, and check. is it any wonder AFO wanted this? plus it just looks so damn cool. the visual representation of everyone as little stars on a map. Turn On Location: The Quirk. okay look I feel like I’m doing a bad job of explaining why I have this quirk all the way up at number two. it just has this subtle badassness to it, and its introduction after almost two hundred chapters of buildup was just so fucking cool. maybe it’s recency bias?? I don’t even know; all I know is that I love this quirk and want to see more of it in action.

1. Blackwhip (Lariat/Deku)

listen, I was obsessed with this quirk back when it was called “Venom” and was by far the absolute coolest part of the 1990s Spider-Man cartoon series. I’m not just going to suddenly not be obsessed with it just because fandom is mad that Horikoshi gave Deku an additional power beyond just Smashing Stuff. Blackwhip is hands down the coolest quirk, guys. I’m sorry, it just is. it has the coolest name. it had the coolest entrance. it does basically anything you could ever want a quirk to do in battle. it grabs stuff. it Bloops. what more do you want. you’re all just jealous because you wish that you could Bloop too. I know I am. I wish I had a Bloop. anyway so yeah, Blackwhip is the upgrade to Deku’s fighting style that we desperately needed after 200+ chapters of Delaware Smashes and Broken Bones. all his fights are cooler now. he can save more people! he can fight without instantly dying! plus you just gotta love powers that occasionally explode out of control if their user gets all emotional and pissed off about the fact that you insulted his boyfriend. so yeah. Blackwhip at number one! on this list of favorite quirks. not best quirks!! jesus christ. please don’t kill me I have a family.

so that’s my list! all 3000 words of it. how does this keep happening.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bnha ranking #bnha top ten #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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johannesviii · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1999

A list with quite possibly the most embarrassing #1 yet, and considering some of the previous ones, that’s really saying something.

Also, a very, very long list of honorable mentions.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

This could have almost been a top fifteen, because holy f█cking shit look at this list of honorable mentions. I might eventually make a top 15 for some years (gosh I just finished my 2013 top and it’s a massacre of good songs, an absolute disaster, and I’m seriously considering making it a top 15 or 20 I swear), but for now, it’s still manageable.

Summer Son (Texas) - Why is this so hot. The lyrics aren’t even hot in the first place. What the hell.

That Don’t Impress Me Much (Shania Twain) - Not my favorite song from her but still very good. Fun fact, one of my English teachers was using songs as dictation exercises and that was the hardest one he ever used for that. I don’t think any of us got the Elvis line right. Also he’s solely responsible for me loving The Cure because the second song he used for this kind of exercise was Boys Don’t Cry. This has nothing to do with Shania Twain but I thought it was a fun little story to tell.

Jusqu’au Bout de la Nuit (Emile et Images) - Two French bands from the eighties team up and release a song which is composed of every single one of their hit songs from the eighties, with each chorus sung one after the other, and... it sounds great? And it charted?? My brother absolutely loved them, too. The only reason it’s not on the list is that it feels like cheating, in a way. I mean, half these songs could top some of my lists on their own. Putting them together is a dirty trick, guys! Oh well, I love you all anyway.

Baby One More Time (Britney Spears) - I really love this song and it was on the list at first, but overplay played a big role in its removal from it.

L’Ame Stram Gram (Mylène Farmer) - Has the privilege of being the first Mylène Farmer music video I ever saw in my life. Was incredibly confused but also fascinated. The song isn’t her best though, and she’s on so many of these lists that I claim self care on its removal from this one, especially because, uh... she’s still gonna appear on it anyway. Damn it.

Move Your Body (Eiffel 65) - I told you I loved stupid dance music didn’t I. Unfortunately things aren’t gonna get better as years pass. I just made a list (which is gonna be posted muuuuuuch later) where I put David Guetta six places higher than Adele. This isn’t a joke.

Save Tonight (Eagle Eye Cherry) - I genuinely love this song and it’s kinda sad I couldn’t fit it on any of the two lists where it was elligible.

La Manivelle (Wazoo) - This would NEVER have charted if La Tribu de Dana by Manau hadn’t been such an enormous hit the previous year. Not in a million years. And if it hadn’t, the world would have been a little less fun. So I’m glad. I love it and it was one of the last cuts from this list.

Kiss Me (Sixpence None the Richer) - Was also on the list at first. Was removed because it never ended on any compilation I made and that’s the only reason.

Well, that was long. Here’s the proper list.

10 - Crazy (Britney Spears)

US: Not on the list?? I was very surprised / FR: #14

So I dug up the first cd compilations I ever made for the previous list, and look what’s the first song on the third compilation I ever made!

Relistened to it, still love it to bits, put it on the list. Sorry Kiss Me.

9 - All Star (Smash Mouth)

US: #17 / FR: Not on the list

I know it’s impossible to listen to it with fresh ears after something like 15 years of memes. But it’s still damn good and a ton of fun to sing along with it.

8 - Ma Baker 99 (Boney M)

US: Not on the list / FR: #66

Where’s that photo of the cd compilation I mentioned in the previous list?

There it is.

Yep, it’s a remix, but it charted here, and it sounds and looks absolutely fantastic. I had never heard the original at the time for some reason, and that song sounded so badass. I could only understand isolated bits of the lyrics (like “she was the meanest cat in all Chicago town”, “the cops appeared too soon they couldn’t get away”, “she never could cry”) but it was enough to get a general idea, and that was back when I was starting to realise than most of the dance songs I enjoyed as a kid didn’t tell stories and weren’t about wizards and magic. So, a song about a mean woman who’s also a gangster?? I was like, wow, nice, a song I like with an actual story, give me twenty.

7 - Boom Boom Boom Boom (Vengaboys)

US: Not on the list / FR: #20

Told you I loved Vengaboys! It’s also on that third cd compilation I ever made!

Fun fact, at the time, for a while I didn’t know what the lyrics were and since I only knew a couple of words of English I was convinced a “broom” was somehow involved in the lyrics instead of a “room”.

6 - Souviens-toi du jour (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #73

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again ; I used to be a huge fan of her as a teenager and my brain somehow links her and her songs in general to some dark times in my life - and so, every single time she appears on one of my lists, I feel like I’m texting an unstable ex and that things will end horribly and I probably shouldn’t do that but, ugh, can’t help it, love her too much.

Ok so the first seconds are actually painful to listen to but holy shit, that’s a beautiful, beautiful song. When the chorus swells near the end, so full of hope and light? Amazing. Chills on my arms every single time. That’s from one of her best albums, too. I have nothing more to say about it.

5 - Better Off Alone (Alice Deejay)

US: Not on the list / FR: #30

I don’t have anything to say about this one apart from the fact one of my friends around 2005 thought the lyrics were “do you think you’re better? rofl lol” and I think that’s hilarious.

Moving on to- oh shit oh no not that song

4 - Je te rends ton amour (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #97

What I said in #6 also applies here and this song is so dark it feels even worse. That song used to be very important in my life. Bad memories, bad times. Really, really bad times.

So. Uh. This is a song about a woman in a painting, who’s despising her creator, and possibly (that’s very, very open to interpretation, here’s a translation) coming out of her frame to kill him. That’s quite possibly the weirdest story I’ve ever heard in a song, and I love it. And it sounds so sinister. God, the first notes. They are so ominous. And that brief moment of silence after the bridge, right before the guitar explodes again? Horrible chills. I’m not sure who killed who or what actually happened in the story but press F to pay respects.

Also the music video has nothing to do with the lyrics and it’s absolutely terrifying and I shouldn’t have watched this at 14 because it’s kinda burned into my mind now and it will never go away and you probably shouldn’t watch it either.

If it wasn’t so inextricably linked to bad memories, this song would be #2. I still love it and listen to it but I kinda jump like a scared rabbit whenever I hear it by surprise and it should come with its own trigger warning as far as I’m concerned.

3 - Narcotic (Liquido)

US: Not on the list / FR: #99

This is barely elligible. But I’m so, so glad it is. These chords right there? Love them. Love. Them.

Also here’s a fun story about this song and me. At first, I was like “oh wow, I can only understand one word out of five, but this sounds badass.” Then a couple of years later I was like “oh. Oh no. It’s about drugs.” And THEN a few years later I was like “oh shit oh no. It’s about sex.” But no, now that I can understand everything, it’s just a breakup song. It’s okay.

2 - Where I’m headed (Lene Marlin)

US: Not on the list / FR: #24

Ok so. Uh. I just realised this song was called Where I’m headed and not, as I believed for literally 18 years, “Pass By”. I had never checked. I have it on several tapes and several cd compilations, always labelled Pass By. It’s also called Pass By on the mp3 I still have in my playlist. I know I’m in the wrong here and probably never checked what the title was but I still feel like there’s been a glitch in the matrix. What happened.

Anyway. Fantastic song. Love it.

Now let’s embarrass myself beyond all hopes of redemption.

1 - Blue (Eiffel 65)

US: Not on the list (...yet. #49 in 2000) / FR: #2

So. Uh. Yeah.

Blue by Eiffel 65 was, for a long, long, LONG time, my favorite song ever.

See? This is one of my oldest lists of favorite songs.

Another one from several months later.

A cd compilation of my favorite songs ever, which I made around 2003 or 2004 as well, with a booklet with lyrics entirely copied by hand and with every page painstakingly illustrated with panels and characters from my favorite comic at the time, Horologiom.

You open the booklet, and look at that, Blue is the second song right after Children.

This silly song which lists blue things and has a nonsensical chorus and one of the dumbest music videos of the entire 90s was, indeed, for years, my favorite song ever. Why. How. Well, first, please remember I am, in fact, a sucker for dance music and electronic music ESPECIALLY when a piano is involved, but this isn’t at all why this song was special to me (and still is, actually).

As I already mentioned, music has colors to me and guess what’s the dominant color of this song? Yepppppp. This is one of the bluest songs ever made even if there’s a little black, yellow and green here and there - the only song I can think about right now which out-blues it is Derezzed by Daft Punk.

And I can’t even begin to explain how SATISFYING a blue song called “Blue” listing blue things and which has an extremely blue music video is.

I know. It’s an embarrassing #1 even for 1999. It took me a long time to post this list partly for this reason. But I wouldn’t be honest if it was placed at any other position. It’s stupid, it’s repetitive, it’s meaningless. I absolutely love it and I’ve loved it for twenty years.

Deal with it.

Next up: the year when I actually started to buy cds with my own money, with debatable results.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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@princeescaluswords tagged me in a fanfic ask meme, and I’m loling at how few of the questions I can actually answer, because I swear I’ve literally forgotten more fandoms than most people will ever have. And I’ve probably written a good couple million words of fanfic all in total....

I know with just my first fandom alone, Roswell, I was in that one writing regularly for about three years and wrote and published probably a million words between the six or so ‘big fics’ I wrote......21 Down topped out at just over 200K, my Paradise Lost trilogy was probably a little longer as I think Genesis and Exodus were both around 80K and Revelations was probably closer to 100K. Riders of the Storm was around 120K.....Passage to Dawn I never actually finished because I scrapped it halfway through and started over.....and my revised version left off at around 50K I think, but the previous version before that had gotten up to 100K......and then I honestly can’t remember the names of my other two big fics at the moment, lmfao, I just know I had one more that was an amnesia trope fic and one that was....oh! Never mind, just remembered. The Long Dark Night of the Soul was one of my shorter ones, probably somewhere between 60-80K.

But yeah, that was just my first fandom alone......but fandom was a little different then, like in the sense that nobody was really writing posts about meta or episode or character analysis......Roswell fandom existed almost entirely on various messageboards and linked sites created by the community. It was years before Ao3 of course, and while ff.net was around, Roswell was one of those fandoms that just never congregated around it......people posting Roswell fics on ff.net were the outliers, the majority of fandom was centered around sites like roswellfanatics.net, crashdown.com and my personal site/board of choice to hang out and post at, polarattraction.com. I’m pretty sure all of those sites have been defunct for years, and I wish I’d done a better job of saving some of my own fics at least, lol. But point is, the fandom was geared just towards the writing and consumption of fanfic more than anything else......so if you were writing something, it was either a fic itself, or a comment on somebody else’s fic, lol.

Anyway, was just reviewing my various past fandoms, the ones I could remember, and thought of Dark Angel fandom, which I haven’t thought of in forever. Which is kinda funny to me, actually, considering my focus in DA fandom was pretty much exactly my focus in Batfandom - the found family feels.

LOL. Like, I was never one of the better known writers in DA fandom given that my focus was not really the same as most of fandom’s. DA fandom was largely split into two camps locked in eternal ship war - Logan/Max and Alec/Max. I had by this time ‘evolved’ to the point of looking at this and just snobbishly intoning “I do not care for the Straightness of this all and thus I choose to Abstain from the conflict” so there was that at least.....but yeah, thing was, personally, I was in Dark Angel fandom for the found family feels. Max’s eternal search for her siblings she’d been raised with but lost track of when they escaped from Manticore as children.....like that was the good stuff, that was what drew me in and kept me under lock and key until I’d banged out a good couple years’ worth of constant fic writing about her and her siblings before I moved on.

But while Max’s search for her siblings was the catalyst and central plot of the first season of Dark Angel, fandom pretty much only ever took off with the introduction of Alec in the second season, when it became an either/or choice between Alec and Logan. And with most of the second season moving away from Max’s search for her family to focus more on the larger big-picture plots, combined with the fact that most of Max’s siblings never actually made an appearance onscreen.....understandably, they didn’t end up occupying too much of a role in most of fandoms’ fics or interests.

Anyway, like I said, I churned out a shit ton of DA fanfic in a pretty short period of time....my single most popular fic was probably one about transgenics racing to find a cure when they realize they’d been genetically engineered to all ‘expire’ by a certain age, since their creators had no use for genetically engineered super-soldiers past the prime of their lives.

But my personal fave bits of writing, and the series I reeeeeeally regret not saving and wish I could find again, like, there was this one series of one-shots (ranging from a couple thousand words long to some that were about 20-30K long) written about each of Max’s siblings.....all fifteen of them, lol. Jondy’s was the first one I wrote, and one of the first things I wrote in that fandom, and then I just added new stories to that particular series up until Jack’s, the very last one a couple years later....which I THINK was the last thing I ever wrote/posted in that fandom.

And since we only ever met about half of these characters on the show, and most of them only for an episode each, for the most part they were blank slates and the equivalent of writing OCs......and so I’ll always have a soft spot for my time in DA fandom solely because of how many people told me my version of Max’s various siblings was like, the definitive version for them and what they based their own fics or takes on her siblings on. Swoon. Like, that’s my favorite kind of compliment, especially in fanfic writing.

So that series was my Big Thing even if it wasn’t my most popular or well-known fic, and the various stories in it were weird and whimsical and largely experimental. Because part of the point of fic writing for me instead of writing original fic is its like....fanfic is often the place where I just get weird with my writing and try new things even just stylistically. See what works and what doesn’t, etc.

Anyway, kinda curious if there’s anyone out there who was in Dark Angel fandom at all to any degree, or if any of these sound familiar or if anyone remembers reading them.

Like, so Jondy was Max’s sister who we never met in canon but Max talked about often as being her favorite sibling, and her story in this series was called “Little Lightning Girl.” In it she was a stripper slash vigilante, who used her job to take note of predatory guys who then she preemptively scared away from her coworkers or ran totally out of town. I forget how it went exactly, but that one was written as though it was all her stream of consciousness, and she had to my mind a kind of chaotic, whimsical sort of nature, so there was something in there like:

“Call me little lightning girl, for I’ve lightning in my veins. My hair is always frizzy, my steps all flicker-shimmy-shake. But when I strike, boom, clap, I’m thunder in reverse - by the time you hear the rumble, its already too late. That was you hitting the ground. Don’t hurry getting up. I can wait.”

And then Zane’s story was called “Zen and the Art of Not Breaking Your Customer’s Fucking Face (remember, its bad for business).”

Brin’s was “I Wasn’t Born Yesterday (but yesterday, I remember being very small).”

Zack’s was “Rules For When The Sky Is Falling (and this time it isn’t your fault).”

Syl’s was “The Kind of Girl You Bring Home to Meet Your Parents (when you’ve got the kind of parents that need killing).”

Ben’s was “They keep telling me I’m crazy (I say its the world that’s gone mad).”

Tinga’s was “A Storybook Kind of Princess (with a Grimm kind of happily ever after)” and Krit’s was “The Good Die Young, So Boy, You Better Be Bad.”

Kavi’s was “I Never Learned How To Play Ball (striking out comes naturally).”

Vada’s was “Chase Me To The Desert and Watch Me Live, I Bet I’ll Thrive (you better believe I was born to survive).”

And then Seth’s was “All Her Brothers’ Keeper (you keep your secrets and I’ll keep the watch).”

And though technically not escapees with the rest of them, I am anal and a completionist, so of course I had to write ones for Eva, Jack and Jace too.

Eva’s was “Big Sisters Know Best (so when I say I’ll die for you, just say thank you and live).”

Jace’s was “Leopards Never Change Their Spots (but why worry about my 5% leopard when I’m 10% shark).

And Jack’s was “Shelter The Innocent (but don’t look at the boy without shelter and say that boy, he’s no good).”

Anyway, been randomly thinking about those today now. Well, not randomly since I can follow the train of thought that led me to thinking about them, but you know what I mean. Its just kinda funny to me that I do remember those particular stories so well when there’s entire other fandoms I can barely remember writing in at all. And DA fandom wasn’t even one I was in all that long, ever knew too many other people in, or like....idk. I definitely, definitely have written much more well read and frequently commented upon stories than that fairly random little series of almost-OCs, but for some reason it stuck around in my head a lot longer and a lot more clearly than a ton of other stuff.

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land-of-brains-and-chocolate · 6 years ago

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god it WILL NOT stop bothering me until i talk about it. the way we got here. it’s not just about the book anymore, not at all, and it’s certainly never been about “shipping”, at this point it’s how helpless the tactics of the guy make me feel.

step one: refer to people who have read previous venom books and noticed the trend throughout the nineties to portray eddie and the symbiote as a man and an agender alien in an ambiguously or not-so-ambiguously romantic relationship, which was picked up on and completely unambiguously canonised in the very last run, consistently refer to these people as “shippers”, lovingly condescend to them, do not ever treat “the ship” as existing beyond their imagination

[I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS EXIST]

result: make people forget that this is a complete misrepresentation and he has received no criticism whatsoever for “not making a ship canon” because that is not what he did, he decanonised it and then denied doing so and painted everyone it ever meant something to as essentially deluded - and, considering that that’s all they are, he’s being awfully kind and accommodating, isn’t he?

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step two: actively seek out these no-good shippers on tumblr! tell them that you’re watching them! read their detailed posts in which they express their grievances about your comic book to their friends and misrepresent their points on your twitter so your bajillion followers can affirm that Those People are categorically wrong about everything!

[EDDIE IS CODEPENDENT]

people are mad at him because he said eddie was codependent! not because he’s reframing the extremely rare story of a troubled queer relationship that was ultimately still a redemptive force in these characters’ lives as an unhealthy compulsion that corrupts, hm, what a fresh and unfamiliar take, no reason why this would strike a nerve - and, recently, of course, as something inherently abusive, every bit of hope and change for the better vile and fake.

literally just start vaguing about people’s personal tumblr blogs on your professional twitter account with the little, little blue checkmark and everything, use that to make passive-aggressive references to people’s posts! why not!

[LOVE EACH OTHER]

people talk about how they like a symbiote and its host getting along (and they did, that very night, talk quite a lot about ngozi)? that is so dumb and lame.

[EVERYTHING IS AWESOME]

people get sick of edgy shock factor writing that throws one dark theme after another at them without treating any of them with the consideration they deserve? people expect some moments of levity in a venom book?

they’re asking for stories with no conflict where nothing bad ever happens! but it’s okay, he knows better, he knows you just don’t know what you want! it’s not like endless sadness is just as likely to be dreadfully boring or unintentionally hilarious as endless happiness!

result: o w n e d god he sure is shutting down every point no one has ever made

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step three: literally get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only boil their opinions down to THE SHIIIIP but literally say that their opinions don’t matter because they literally would never say it “to your face” literally because it’s “easy to be brave on tumblr”

literally

say these words

[IT’S EASY TO BE BRAVE ON TUMBLR]

call people chicken shits for NOT talking to you directly! and then! BLOCK everybody who talks to you directly! or quote retweet them so your followers can descend like vultures! actually acknowledge that it takes bravery to interact with you if you’re in the Tumblr Demographic, you know, one of Those People, and frame yourself as in the right for it???

am i losing my mind???

[SIX PEOPLE ON TUMBLR]

get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only claim they’re the only people ever to talk badly of it but imply that you’re one step away from namedropping the specific perpetrators. that’s not ominous at all!

it’s an age-old question: how many times does one of marvel’s top writers with legions of fans have to imply his antagonistic awareness of your specific existence before you’re on a first name basis? and also paranoid?

result: stir shit. be a shit stirrer. faint when your shit stirring does in fact stir shit. you can’t go “you would never” and be surprised when people do, you... can’t...

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step four: whip out your ally card... to whip the people you’re supposed to be allied to with it. try to use your knowledge of queer issues to shut down actual queer people.

[I DON’T THINK IT’S APPROPRIATE TO ASSUME GENDER]

either that, or straight-up make a “did you just assume my gender” joke. i can’t find the original tweet anymore, so it’s possible it was that and he deleted it because it was too blatant, lol.

result: MAYBE YOU GUYS WERE THE PROBLEMATIC ONES ALL ALONG

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step five: remember that interview where he outright stated that he just wants to, just to be the definite venom run? just to put the biggest dent in canon he can? just to break everybody’s toys and emerge victorious as the one person with the valid take on venom?

yeah, those things become more noticeable in the actual book, over time, and acceptance of that is, uh, not universal? not everybody’s up for him spending several issues in a row on e s t a b l i s h i n g d o m i n a n c e by having eddie sit around as other characters tell him that a ton of stuff other writers from michelinie to thompson to costa to kaminski to slott to jenkins have done actually sucked and was wrong and fake and never happened? through retcons that make no sense, like, factually don’t fit?

people don’t like you walking back character and relationship development to further your end goal of recasting the symbiote as the personification of addiction and abuse instead of itself a survivor of extreme abuse who has been constantly denied personhood in a way that is frighteningly resonant and who has been going through a genuine redemption arc for years now?

people don’t like you acting like eddie never had a reason for being who he is before and you had to make one up? one that doesn’t fit the character at all, which you didn’t realise because you apparently thought the character had no characterisation before you came along?

you can imagine how these things might spark nerd rage?

and you can probably imagine who this nerd rage was blamed on, yeah?

these criticisms inherently require knowledge of venom canon, because they’re largely about disrespect for it, these criticisms are not related to shipping of any kind - but of course the only thing people could possibly be mad about is the "ship", the only ones making a fuss are those “shippers”, those casuals, Those People who only care about One Thing and don’t understand the real gritty reality of the, god you get it i’m making fun

[I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT]

you’re the only one, don. it’s true.

and i know, i know for a fact, that he’s been aware of criticism from other groups all along, that he was, for example, witness to this livestream that spends like a solid hour a month mercilessly dragging him through the dirt, and you know what the extent of his response was?

thanks for checking the book out.

that’s it. that’s all. this guy hasn’t gotten any less loud about criticising him, either. wishing for his book’s cancellation and retconning. but nothing more. he gets to keep to himself. he is #valid.

people have been taking the piss out of him on youtube, on reddit. only tumblr ever earned his ire. only tumblr gets namedropped at convention panels.

and now, now more than ever? you better believe your regular run-of-the-mill nerds, straight, male, utterly uninterested in the icky stuff, everything, are mad. almost everyone who’s truly tits deep in venom lore is mad.

and so he’s said he’s received threats. and i’m sure he has. i’ve received threats. you’ve received threats. it’s never okay. it sure as shit never helps to send them.

he’s gotten a lot of fucking inappropriate personal vitriol! lots of it actually “ship”-related! i’m categorically against contacting the guy for any reason!

but who is to blame? who do people accept as being to blame? who do news outlets report on as being to blame? when, i presume, not every single one of them actually went “i’m doing this specifically because i’m a (thunder clap) shipper”? when large-scale retcons are literally always met with nerd rage? when a shipper-less fandom probably still would’ve had threats?

[THIS IS INSANE]

[IT’S THE SHIPPERS]

result: if all criticism = “shippers”, and “shippers” = harassment, then everyone who has no actual idea of what’s going on but who doesn’t like “shippers” is automatically on his side and nobody who isn’t a “shipper” wants to risk the association by criticising him.

get this stuff out to his followers, to news outlets, to people completely uninvolved and contextless, and watch the bile run over everywhere because lots of people are ready to accept this narrative in comic book spaces.

have people in the replies and comments eagerly discussing how this is more proof that c+o+m+i+c+s+gate was right and they’re the only reasonable ones. how disgusting and crazy "shippers” are. how donny should keep doing his best to trigger the gays. there’s no pushback against these ideas.

and i’m so fucking stuck between wanting to defend the man, wring my hands and apologise on behalf of the other These People, because i don’t see anything justifiable in their actions, and in being... just... just so frustrated... with everything... with throwing everyone out to the dogs... and claiming that he doesn’t mean to... when he has this whole history of belittling "shippers” specifically... of making sure their public image is that of people who just don’t know what they’re talking about and are in no way worth empathising with... of only drawing attention to the aggressive ones and blocking the reasonable ones

when he literally only stands to benefit from doing all this.

this is massive amounts of free positive pr.

this makes him essentially immune to criticism of any kind.

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

i forgot! somewhere along the line, he did do something very good and disavowed association with co/mics/ga/te!

[C0M1C5G8]

why the fuck am i censoring? tumblr search stopped working decades ago.

anyway, it should come as no particular surprise why these people assumed he would side with them. not that any high profile writer who values his standing would, really. are there any? maybe there are, i’m not up to date on this drama.

i just think it’s funny - genuinely not his fault, but hilarious - that this was apparently enough to inspire a “boycott”? and it was a fart in the wind?

which is the least surprising thing ever because there is actually nothing whatsoever to hold these people’s ire to be found in venom? excluding aliens, there has been one real and present character who isn’t a white guy in 11 issues? it is actively less queer than it was before? donny has never caved to the essjaywoo pressure in any way, shape or form? what were they... thinking? it’s almost like these people are dumb?

all they've done is ensure that, without it actually doing anything, venom gets the commendation for being A Comic The Gators Don't Like?

anyway.

what do we do moving forward? i don’t know. nothing. not harassing anyone. keep being salty on tumblr. do not engage him. i think i’m more about stalling the chain reaction he’s caused than the man himself. if you’re not a “shipper”, of course, keep posting your criticism, maybe stand up for “shippers” who are being dogpiled over genuine criticism, don’t let people say This Is All Proof Of How You Can’t Have Queer Content Because Queers Are Crazy.

and be nice to mike costa.

#i feel a lot better actually #it sure took a lot of words to achieve that

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joygaytrash · 6 years ago

Text

Love Guidance - Chapter Five

Word Count: 2,448

Notes: Okay I lied this is the longest chapter I’ve written so far. Also, the official Love Guidance masterpost will be posted tomorrow at midnight because I can. I hope y’all enjoy, if y’all got any questions, feel free to ask.

September 1st, 2017

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Damian opened his eyes at the sound of his phone, stretching a bit before reaching for it. He grabbed it off the coffee table and looked to see who was calling his at 11:45 pm.

"Give me a good god damn reason as to why you're calling me when I am asleep," Damian said when he answered the phone, moving Thomas' head off his lap before standing up from the couch.

"Dammy, gurl, how do you talk to a cute guy?" Remy asked, completely ignoring what Damian said. Damian raised an eyebrow at Remy's question, walking into the kitchen and grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl.

"Uh, why?"

"Because there's a cute guy here and I've been awkward flirting with him the whole time and I want his number!"

"Have you tried asking him for his number?"

Remy went quiet for a moment, leaving Damian to wait for a response while standing in the middle of the kitchen. "Um, no, I didn't ask him," Remy answered, his voice lowering in embarrassment. Damian chuckled a bit, getting an annoyed groan from Remy.

"It's not funny, Dammy, just help me!" Remy begged.

"Okay, okay. First off, remain calm when you're asking for his number. Second off, if he says no, move on," Damian suggested, making Remy chuckled this time.

"Gurl, he's been flirting with me as well. I'm pretty sure he won't say no," Remy said. Damian rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his apple. "If you say so but don't come crying to me if he does," Damian responded.

"Deal. Also, while I'm on the phone, what's Thomas doing at the moment?" Remy questioned.

"Thomas' sleeping on the couch. He's been sleeping since like 10," Damian answered, taking another bite of his apple. A quiet 'mhm' came from Remy's end, "Okay, well, I'm gonna let you go. I got a job to do."

"Alrighty, see you when you get home," Damian replied. The two said quick good-byes before Remy hung up, walking back to the bar counter. Emile was sitting at the counter, waiting for Remy to return.

"Sorry about taking so long, my friend and I got a bit caught up in our conversation," Remy said, stepping behind the counter.

"It's okay, no need to be sorry. Besides, the conversation was probably important," Emile replied.

"Not really. All I did was ask him for some advice on something and asked about Thomas," Remy explained. Emile raised his eyebrow when Remy mentioned Thomas, automatically remembering that Roman had brought up earlier that Remy had his own kid. "Let me guess, Thomas is your kid?" Emile asked, resting his elbows on the countertop.

Remy nodded, serving three bottles of beer to a customer quickly. "Yeah, he's a sweet kid honestly. He's always willing to help others and defend what's right. For example, back when Thomas had finished fifth grade, one of the soccer moms made a comment about me being a single parent and being gay and Thomas just set her straight right then and there," Remy explained, smiling to himself as he thought about that memory.

"Well, Thomas is a lucky kid to have a dad like you, Remy," Emile stated. Remy laughed a bit, leaning on the counter. "And I'm a lucky dad to have a kid like Thomas," Remy added. Emile smiled, laughing slightly. Remy couldn't help by laugh once again. Emile's laugh was contagious and even after knowing him for only a few hours, Remy loved it.

"So, tell me, Emile, do you have any kids?" Remy asked.

"Mhm. I got two of them; Elliott and Patton," Emile answered, taking a sip of his soda, "I adopted Elliott a few years back when they were just starting middle school. They didn't like me at first but later on, Elliott finally warmed up to me," Emile explained.

"How old are your two?" Remy questioned, cleaning down a part of the counter.

"Elliott is 17 and Patton is 15. How old is Thomas?" Emile asked back.

"He's 14," Remy answered as he tossed the cleaning rag in a bin of water behind him.

"Wow, that means he's just starting high school then, right?" Emile questioned. Remy nodded again, letting out a 'mhm'.

The two kept talking, discussing small topics like their kids, their favorite memories with their kids, what their hobbies are, things like that. They kept talking up until Emile, Logan, Roman, Larry, and Dot had to leave.

But before they all left, Emile turned towards Remy and asked him a question, "Hey Remy, before I leave, can I possibly get your number? So we can get to know each other better, you know?"

Remy nodded, grabbing his notepad and his pen then scribbled his number down(but he still made it readable). Remy then ripped it off the pad and gave it to Emile, smiling a bit. "Here you go, cutie. I can't wait to hear from you," Remy said.

"And I can't wait to talk to you," Emile replied, smiling.

Remy said 'bye' to Emile, waving to him as he left. "Let me guess, that's the one who claimed your heart," Nate suggested as he walked up next to Remy.

"Yup and he asked me for my number," Remy responded, walking away from the edge of the counter. Nate followed him, still talking, "So, I assume that you gave it to him."

"Of course I did. I'd be a uomo pazzo if I didn't," Remy explained, grabbing the stranded coasters scattered across the counter before tossing them in a bin. Nate nodded in agreement, serving a couple beers. "Sooo, what's his name?" Nate asked, acting like one of those nosey dads finding out his daughter's boyfriend's name.

"His name's Emile. I don't know his last name though," Remy answered as he rang up a small group of customers at the cash register. A small curious hum came from Nate as Remy finished up at the cash register.

Remy felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and grabbed it, looking at the screen. It was Emile, he had actually texted Remy.

Unknown: Hey :)

You: Hey yourself, cutie ;)

"Oooh, is that Emile?" Nate asked, looking over Remy's shoulder. He nodded, pushing Nate away a bit. Remy then quickly saved Emile's number into his phone, tempting to add an emoji next to his name.

Emile: Just wanted to make sure this was the right number because you know how some people are

You: I know, I get it. That's completely understandable

Emile: At least you're not like some people :)

You: Yeah :)

"Yo, Remy, the boss is giving you that 'get back to work' glare again," Nate said, motioning towards their boss across the bar. Remy glanced over at their boss for a few seconds, turning away quickly.

"K, let me tell Emile that I gotta go," Remy responded, making a gesture with his phone. Nate nodded before going back to serve customers on the other end of the counter.

You: Hey, I gotta get back to work but I'll text you later, promise

Emile: Okay, have fun with the rest of your shift

You: I'll try to lol

After that, Remy stuffed his phone in its original spot in his back pocket then went back to serving the customers at the counter their drinks.

September 2nd, 2017

Remy put the car into park before sighing, resting his head on the steering wheel. He was so damn tired despite working only four hours that night and he actually was considering sleeping in the car instead of dragging himself inside to his nice comfy and warm bed.

Yeah, Remy's not sleeping in the car.

He took the keys out of the ignition, gathered his things, and got out of the car, locking it behind him. Remy walked up to the front door and unlocked it, pushing his way. Before shutting the door, he noticed Thomas and Damian asleep on the couch. Remy smiled a bit, closing the door quietly.

He put the keys on the table by the front door and took his shoes off, placing them on the mat by the table. He went over to the couch and kissed Thomas' forehead, mumbling a "see you when you wake up" under his breath before walking away.

As Remy made his way to his bedroom, he took his jacket and shirt off while he walked. He tossed them in the laundry basket by his door then took his jeans off, replacing them with a pair of basketball shorts. Remy plugged his phone in by his bed before flopping down on in, sighing a bit.

His thoughts immediately went to Emile. God dammit, Remy could not get the man out of his mind. Who gave that man any right to be as cute as he was with his curly and wavy hair, his golden brown eyes, and his cute laugh?

Remy sighed again, burying his face in his pillow. "Oh my god Remy, you are so gay," Remy mumbled to himself. He covered himself up with the blankets on his bed, relaxing a bit. Remy closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and releasing it, allowing sleep to wash over him slowly.

***

"Dad, it's 10 in the morning, wake up!"

Remy groaned as he opened his eyes, seeing Thomas standing in front of him. "Yeah and that means I'm sleeping in till noon," Remy said, turning away from Thomas.

"Daaaaaad," Thomas whined, laying on top of Remy, "Come on. Uncle Damian already left for work and I'm booored."

"And I'm tired from working, kid," Remy replied, attempting(but not really trying) to push Thomas off of him. Thomas had a tight grip on Remy, almost causing them both to fall off the bed. The teen laughed, still holding onto his dad.

"Okay, okay, I'm getting up. Now get out so I can get dressed," Remy finally commented, making Thomas let go of him and cheered a little then left Remy alone in his room. Remy stayed laying down in bed for a few moments before sitting up, stretching a bit. He grabbed his phone off it's charger, scrolling through the notifications quickly.

Remy then set his phone back down and stood up, going to his dresser. He quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, taking off his shorts and putting the jeans and shirt on. Remy looked in the mirror, fixing his hair a bit then walked back to his bed and grabbed his phone, shoving it in his pocket.

Remy made his way into the kitchen, where Thomas was eating a bowl of cereal.

"So, kid, what's the plan for today?" Remy asked as he started up the coffee machine.

"I wanna go visit Uncle Damian at work later,"

"That means we would either have to walk or ride our bikes,"

"Walking works,"

"Perfect. I didn't want to dig out the bikes anyways,"

Thomas laughed a bit, making Remy chuckle as he poured the newly brewed coffee into his mug. "Hey, lemme get a bite of your cereal," Remy suggested, standing in front of Thomas. The teen scooped some cereal up with his spoon then offered it to his dad. Remy ate the cereal and washed it down with his coffee.

"Thanks Thomas,"

"You're welcome, Dad,"

Remy smiled as he chugged the rest of his coffee, placing the empty mug in the sink. Thomas finished the rest of his cereal then drank the milk from the bowl before handing the bowl and spoon to his dad. Remy took them and placed them in the sink. "I'm gonna wash these up quick and while I'm doing that you go brush your teeth. Deal?" Remy suggested, looking at Thomas.

"Deal," Thomas replied, going off to the bathroom. Remy chuckled as he started to wash the three dishes in the sink.

When he finished, Remy dried his hands on a towel and walked to the bathroom, humming softly. He walked in the bathroom just as Thomas got done brushing his teeth.

"Go meet me in the living room, bud. I'll be in there in a bit," Remy said. Thomas nodded and walked out of the bathroom before Remy walked in.

Remy started humming again as he began his usual morning routine. Remy started with washing his face, using a normal washcloth and warm water(he might have had used an elastic headband to hold up his hair). Once he finished washing his face, Remy brushed his teeth, his humming getting choppy as he did so. After Remy finished brushing his teeth, he took the headband off before grabbing his hair brush and his hair gel, working on his hair.

When Remy finished doing his hair, he grabbed his sunglasses from the shelf in the mirror and put them on, flashing himself a smile in the mirror. "Lookin' good today, Remus. Lookin' good," Remy told himself before making his way out of the bathroom and towards the living room.

"Ready to go, Thomas?" Remy asked when he walked in the living room. Thomas looked up from his phone at the sound of his dad's voice. "Yeah," Thomas answered, putting his phone in his pocket.

"Great! Let me get my shoes on then we can leave,"

"Can I wait outside?"

"If you want, it's not gonna take that long,"

"Knowing you, I'll be waiting for at least 10 minutes,"

"Oh whatever! You sound like Damian when you say that,"

Thomas laughed, opening the front door and walked out, closing it behind him. Remy watched him and chuckled a bit, a smile on his face.

Man, Remy love that kid. Thomas was his pride and joy. If Remy had the time, he would make a list of things he was glad to have and at the top of that list would be Thomas' name.

He sighed softly, grabbing the shoes he had worn to work the night before and put them on, tying the laces on both shoes quickly. Remy then grabbed his signature leather coat and put that on before picking up his messenger bag and placed that on his shoulder.

Remy opened the front door and walked out, closing and locking it behind him.

"You got everything?" Remy asked, looking at Thomas, who was sitting on the empty driveway. Thomas nodded once again, standing up from his spot on the driveway.

"Awesome. Let's get a moving so we can beat the early lunch traffic," Remy suggested.

"Agree," Thomas said, walking over to his dad.

The two then started their adventure, as Remy called it, to the pet shop down town, already planning on how to bother Damian at work.

#single dads au #love guidance #remy x picani #sanders sides deceit #sanders sides remy #sanders sides emile picani #sanders sides dr picani #ct elliott #sanders sides patton #sanders sides logan #sanders sides roman #ct larry #ct dot #sanders sides nate #sanders sides #cartoon therapy #thomas sanders #joywrites #joygaytrash

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pixelgrotto · 6 years ago

Photo

The horrific Resident Evil playthrough, interlude three

I just finished watching all of the Resident Evil movies I could get my hands on. When I told people I was doing this as the last part of my great year-long playthrough, they all let out groans and said something along the lines of, “Ugh, don’t you wanna end on a good note?” Undaunted by these words and fueled by my ability to tolerate crappy cinema, I moved forward, courageously making it through nine of these suckers...which, to be fair, ranged from surprisingly enjoyable to just as terrible as everyone warned me about.

Before I begin, it’s important to note that we’re dealing with two separate film series here. There’s director Paul W.S. Anderson’s Resident Evil Hollywood films, which are the ones that most people know about. Then there are three Japanese-made CG movies that are canon and co-exist alongside the stories of the games. The Anderson movies are...mostly ass. The Japanese ones are okay.

Let us start with the ass first.

Resident Evil - The first RE film came out in 2002, which means that what little CG it has is laughably dated and it’s refreshingly small-scale when compared to its sequels. The movie’s a fan fiction remix of some themes from Resident Evil 1, except with none of the characters from the games present. Instead, we have Paul W.S. Anderson’s wife Milla Jovovich taking center stage as Alice, the former head of Umbrella security in a secret base called the Hive that goes to hell when some dude tries to steal viruses. The entirety of the action takes place in the Hive, and we get a surprisingly tiny number of monsters, with just your garden variety zombies, a few Cerberus and a single Licker showing up. Even though she does run up a wall and kick a Cerberus in the face, Alice is at her most realistic here (she turns into a dual wielding mutant with the ability to make the camera go into slow-motion whenever she wants in all the other films), there’s a nifty laser grid scene that all the sequels keep referencing when they want you to feel nostalgic, and the Hive’s sentient AI, the Red Queen, is compelling enough that Capcom eventually stuck her in Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles. Aside from this movie being full of British actors who do REALLY awful American accents, sounding like they all have mouths full of sausages, Paul W.S. Anderson’s first take on Resident Evil is probably the most watchable one he made.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse - Okay, this one is watchable too, but in more of a popcorn-munching “lol, this shit is dumb” way. It steals the general plot of Resident Evils 2 and 3, with Raccoon City getting infected, but ups the cheese by a hundred. Alice is now a thirteen-year-old boy’s version of a BADAZZ woman, with lots of guns and a bare midriff, and she teams up with Jill Valentine, who resembles her game self in looks but not exactly in personality. Together, they’ve gotta escape Raccoon City along with Carlos Oliveira, who is possibly the only character from the games who is done a great service in these Anderson movies, which make him much more likable even if they couldn’t find an actual Hispanic actor to portray him and had to settle for an Israeli instead. Oh, and Nemesis shows up, because one of the dudes from the first movie who accompanied Alice into the Hive gets experimented on and turned into what honestly looks like someone’s Halloween costume. The writers commit a cardinal sin at the end of the flick by humanizing him, having him suddenly remember his TRUE SELF and help the good guys, but aside from that screw-up I admit that I had a goofy grin on my face throughout several parts of this movie. After Nemesis blows up the Raccoon City station and murmurs his one line of dialogue- “STARRRRRSSSS” - I even kinda felt like clapping. So yeah, Apocalpyse is idiotic fun.

Resident Evil: Extinction - Here’s where the movies stop being mildly entertaining and become varying degrees of either “meh” or just plain bad. Extinction’s biggest problem is that it makes the weird decision of having the entire PLANET be wiped nearly completely clean by Umbrella’s virus, giving the franchise the most generic setting imaginable for a zombie flick - a post-apocalyptic world. And even though this film features Claire Redfield and actually has Alice fight a Tyrant that looks the part, I feel that by turning the environment into Mad Max the filmmakers missed the entire point of the franchise. Resident Evil isn’t really about a “what if” scenario with mankind dying and zombies taking over the world. Instead, it’s about how humanity manages to cope in a time where zombies are used by corporations for terrorism purposes - hence the franchise’s “bio-organic weapon” catch-phrase for its creatures. It’s about how brave people live on in an era that just happens to feature biopunk monsters as a deadly fact of life. It’s about the evil that resides within a world that is pretty shitty, but hasn’t completely gone to shit. By turning the whole planet into the same ol’ zombie playground that we see in most popular fiction starring these workman-like horror tropes, Extinction - which probably thought it was upping the stakes - instead just feels sorta dull, and anyone who views the film today is probably going to see it as a weaker version of The Walking Dead. Oh, and it ends with Alice discovering clones of herself, which will only serve to screw with the loose continuity of these movies as they go on.

Resident Evil: Afterlife - This one starts with Alice’s clones raiding the Umbrella facility in Tokyo, and the whole sequence - which feels like it should be the finale - is reduced to a few minutes of special effects in the beginning. (This is foreshadowing for the next two films, which both end with hints of giant, climatic battles that mostly happen off-screen, if at all.) The first thing that I noticed when watching this was how slow-mo kicked in every five minutes and how the camera seemed to linger on bullets, and I eventually remembered that this film was released during Hollywood’s obsession with 3D during the early 2010s. This explains Afterlife’s IN-YOUR-FACE-IN-THREE-DIMENSIONS action scenes, which are initially pretty in a music video sort of way but become overdone and tiresome as the movie goes on, kinda like a Zack Snyder film. (I place Paul W.S. Anderson in the same “style over substance” category of director as both Zack Snyder and Michael Bay, by the way.) Anyway, Afterlife deals with Alice teaming up with more survivors to try to find a secret ship haven free of zombies. Along the way she runs into Chris Redfield, who looks more like a janitor than the jacked BSAA agent that he is in the games, and Chris and Claire Redfield have a quick sibling reunion and fight Wesker in a scene with choreography shamelessly stolen from Resident Evil 5. It’s pandering fan service and sort of diverting, but ultimately none of it matters. Chris disappears after this movie and is never seen again, and Afterlife is more interesting as a specimen of 2010 3D excess than it is as an actual narrative.

Resident Evil: Retribution - Retribution amps the pandering fan service that Afterlife dabbled in to new levels. Ada Wong is here, played by Li Bingbing but dubbed by her original voice actress, Sally Cahill, probably because Li’s English isn’t that great. Leon Kennedy and Barry frickin’ Burton show up, both looking pretty much like their in-game counterparts. Even Michelle Rodriguez and a few other faces from Paul W.S. Anderson’s first Resident Evil flick make an appearance, thanks to the fact that this movie has clones up the wazoo and uses them to handwave away any series inconsistencies you could think of. So you’re got fan service for the people who like the games and fan service for the folks who liked the first movie, and on top of it all the film has the extreme 3D that its predecessor possessed and a buttload of battles because it all takes place in a giant Umbrella simulation facility full of stuff that can easily be wrecked. By now the plot to these things has gotten more scrambled than my eggs in the morning, but I will say that thanks to its inclusion of classic characters, Retribution is more or less tolerable. There’s even a bit of characterization this time around, thanks to a little hearing-impaired clone girl who Alice takes under her wing and begins to care for, and the movie ends on an okay cliffhanger in a Washington DC under siege, promising epic things to come in the next movie. Unfortunately... Resident Evil: The Final Chapter - I really did not enjoy The Final Chapter for a myriad of reasons. First of all, the Washington battle promised at the end of Retribution never happens. Instead, we fast forward to several months later, when Alice is (big surprise) the only survivor, and EVERYONE she was with in the last flick - Ada, Leon, the little deaf girl - is gone and never mentioned ever again. Wesker, who Alice was working with in Retribution, is back to being a bad guy for poorly explained reasons. Another bad scientist dude that Alice killed in Extinction also returns for even worse reasons, because supposedly Alice only offed his clone three movies ago. But wait, this “real” bad scientist dude is also revealed to be a clone as the TRUE bad scientist dude shows up in the movie’s last act! AND THE ULTIMATE TWIST (look away now if you actually care about spoilers) is that Alice is HERSELF a clone of the original daughter of the Umbrella corporation’s founder who died of a degenerative disease and served as the basis for the Red Queen AI. The idiotic thing is that this daughter was said to be the progeny of Dr. Charles Ashford in Resident Evil: Apocalypse, but this movie retcons her to be the spawn of Dr. James Marcus. The Final Chapter, in fact, screws with continuity to a degree I have rarely seen before in a long-running film franchise. Yeah, the framework tying this series together got weird as soon as clones were introduced, but previously it seemed that Paul W.S. Anderson at least cared about his own messy fan fiction. Here? It’s like he forgot what he’d spent the last 15 years building up to and ended on one sloppy fart. If this weren’t bad enough, The Final Chapter is edited in that god awful “shaky cam, lots of fast cuts” way that I hate. In fact, I counted something like twenty cuts in a scene of a few seconds when Alice is attacked by a creature, which means that this film won’t just baffle you with its disregard for continuity - it’ll give you a headache too.

Resident Evil: Degeneration - After watching an array of live-action flicks that took random Resident Evil threads and mashed them together with the elegance of a splattered turd, it did feel good to switch things up and move to the CG movies that were actually put out by Capcom. This 2008 offering takes place in between Resident Evils 4 and 5, stars Claire Redfield and Leon Kennedy, and deals with a virus breakout in an airport and some of the pharmaceutical company backstabbing that occurred in the aftermath of Umbrella’s destruction. It’s all stuff that feels like it could have come from a lesser gaiden game - perhaps in the same vein as the first Revelations title - and it kinda gives off that “so-so anime movie” vibe, especially because the dubbing always sounds a tad off. Nevertheless, Degeneration’s still a breath of fresh air compared to the Anderson series, and there’s a nice gag where Claire’s searching for a weapon in the airport, someone hands her a physical umbrella, and she looks at it and is like, “Hm, didn’t see this coming.” (Lollerskates.) The main issue I have with Degeneration is how “plasticky” everyone looks - it’s hard to realize how far computer animation has advanced in the last decade until you look at Degeneration’s stiff visuals and compare them to the other CG films. Also, Leon’s characterization is terrible. He’s meant to be a super serious badass, I guess, but he mostly just looks like someone rammed a Samurai Edge up his sphincter. I prefer my Leon Kennedy to be the “Don’t worry Ashley, I’m comin’ for ya!” version from Resident Evil 4, or at least a dude with a little sass to him. The guy in Degeneration is about as interesting as a board. Resident Evil: Damnation - Damnation is a noticeable step above Degeneration, both in computer animation, which really got better from 2008 to 2012, and in all-around presentation. The dubbing’s still somewhat wonky with that same anime movie vibe, but the characterization is on point, and Leon, who’s taking center stage once more, is just like his RE6 self. Speaking of RE6, this movie channels that game’s themes of international terrorism with a plot that involves rebels in a made-up Eastern European country using Lickers and Las Plagas in an effort to fight for their freedom, only to learn that lo and behold, the nefarious female president who’s seized control of their nation has her own B.O.W.s - in the form of Tyrants - at her disposal. Leon’s caught in the middle of this mess and ends up befriending some of the rebels, and Ada Wong’s also infiltrated the country to manipulate the president. Ada and Leon’s interactions are as insubstantial as they’ve been in pretty much every game that isn’t the recent RE2make, but we do get a cool fight between Ada and the president, who for some reason knows substantial knife fu. There’s an even better battle between Tyrants and Lickers in a city hall square, and Leon gets throw against pillars, regularly takes hits that would kill a normal person and pilots a tank alongside one of the rebels who looks a lot like Chris Redfield but isn’t Chris Redfield. This dude serves as the film’s sympathetic character - a guy torn from his peaceful existence thanks to political wrangling and is tricked into using B.O.W.s to try to achieve a brighter future. It ends with the fella severely injured but learning how to live and move forward in a world infected with nefarious bioweapons, which is the very theme that the Anderson flicks ditched around movie number three. So good work for side-stepping previous failures and recognizing what Resident Evil is all about, Damnation.

Resident Evil: Vendetta - If Degeneration’s a so-so anime movie, and Damnation a good anime movie, then Vendetta is just a good movie in general, with no “anime” distinction needed. The dubbing’s finally pretty decent, for one, and the story takes place in between RE6 and RE7, teaming Leon and Chris Redfield up with - HOLY CRAP - Rebecca Chambers, who’s been AWOL since Resident Evil Zero. They’ve gotta stop an arms dealer from bio-nuking New York and doing nasty things to Rebecca, who resembles his dead wife, and along the way Leon pilots a motorcycle on the freeway with his feet while shooting at Cerebrus with his hands. Nearly all of the movie’s considerable action segments are punctuated with rapid fire John Wick-style gunplay, and it works. It’s like the folks who made this film realized that the coolest part of Resident Evil 6 was the point where Leon and Chris point their guns at each other for a few seconds before deciding that they need to put their differences aside and cooperate, and even though you could conceivably fault Vendetta for leaning heavily towards the “action” side of Resident Evil rather than the “horror” side, it’s a well-paced film that finally gives us a substantial interaction between two series mainstays beyond the one minute they shared with each other in RE6. Also, people are still posting GIFs from Vendetta’s action sequences all across Tumblr and forums whenever arguments break out over whether Chris or Leon is TEH COoLER Resident Evil protagonist, so Capcom obviously did something right. If we get another computer animated film, I imagine it’ll lean more heavily towards horror since that’s where the series has gone recently...but hopefully the path of improvement that we’ve seen from Degeneration to Damnation to Vendetta won’t be broken.

And with that, whew, I’m done with RE movies, at least until the rumored Hollywood reboot that’s supposedly drawing inspiration from Resident Evil 7 comes out. (It can’t be worse than The Final Chapter, I suppose.) I can’t say that my friends were wrong when they warned me that half of these would be shite, but I also can’t say that I ended on a bad note, because Vendetta was pretty good.

After all this, my grand playthrough and consumption of all Resident Evil media is about to finish Next post I make will be a last look at the franchise as a whole...and what a year’s worth of zombie headshots taught me. All screencaps taken by me.

#pixel grotto #video games #now playing #resident evil #biohazard

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

Note

For the kingdom hearts asks: choose your top 4 questions. 😆

1. Where would have been your home world?

Maybe Halloween Town? Or one of the final fatasy crossover places.

2. What would be your starting keyblade?

I like Fenrir, I think it pulls off the ‘looks like a car key’ thing better than riku’s new keyblade in 3. Like its not just straight up a regular car key with no additional decorations, like how the regular keyblade isnt a regular key with no decorations. Just having some weird patterns and bandages on the thing makes it neater! Also kinda resembles the key to the temple of the ancients from orignal ff7.

Tho if i had to choose between only ones that were already starting keyblades in other games, I’d say i like Aqua’s one the best. Its neat with that weird lazery hollow key shape effect

3. How many allies would you have with you as you travel?

aALL OF THE FREMSDS

4. If in a party, what would be your main role (e.g. tank, healer, synthesizer, etc.)

combination tank/damage dealer. Runs into the front lines with zero strategy except smacking stuff and Protect Friemds

5. What would be your command list if you were a D-Link? Limit to 5 commands!

Oh man I actually dont really know how D-Links work cos BBS is one the games i never finished. But uhh probably defense and counterattack stuff?

6. What would be your fighting style?

oh uhh ok better to explain it here! I’d like to be a tanky punchyness, someone who maybe isnt exactly the strongest but they can just keep attacking and annoying the fuck out of the enemy forever. In a party i’d be based around drawing aggro and protecting my friends from attacks but also maybe have some trickstery counter atatcks that give me potential to deal some damage if i get lucky.

7. What would you prioritize? Power, Magic, or Speed?

LOL i always thought it was weird that the mobile game picked those as the three elements when the main trio of the game is clearly power, magic and DEFENSE. and theres loads of enemies who are defense specialists too! i’d be that!! I wanna just be like the annoying Large Body enemy. Big cuddly person who protect they friends to the point its gamebreaking, lol!

8. What would be your ability as a support medal? BONUS, state if it's a single-target or all-target attack, and your SP cost!

Oh man im not very good at the mobile game lol XD I might say a buff defense or lower enemy attack thing cos just those are most necessary to not die in that damn hard game. or if i could have anything even stuff that isnt already possible in the game, then i’d like to be a counterattack! something like if the enemy has buffed themselves you reverse it into debuffs, or you reflect their whole attack. but itd have to have an element of chance to it so maybe it only works if you sacrifice something else, or just on a random flip a coin thing?

9. If you could be partners with one character in the series, who would it be?

URSULA IS MY FAVOURITE DIDNEY

or from the original characters I WANT VEXEN TO BE MY NEW DAD

10. What KHX/KHUX union would you belong to?

in the game i picked the snake one cos i like snake

ive been playing for ages and i still know nothing about what the damn difference is or what the personalites are of any of the bosses

11. What is your favorite magic spell?

its been ages since i played the original games but i recall that i used thunder a lot cos i am bad at aiming, lol

12. Doublejump or glide?

GLIIIIIIIIIIDE

13. Cure or esuna?

cure lol! status effects dont happen often enough to make esuna a mainstay

14. What would be your dodging move?

the goofy kabuki theater dodge pose Quina does in ff9

15. What would you have forgotten in Castle Oblivion?

Probably some sort of dark shit like “your wish is granted to forget your childhood abuse but youre left not knowing who you are because that stuff shaped you from such a young age that its become an unremoveable part of your identity”

16. Would your nobody be just another creature? Or would they belong to the Organization?

*SLAMS FIST ON THE TABLE* WHY NOT BOTH

seriously im still SO mad that all the sentient nobodies look like boring people instead of cool creatures

CREATURE CREATURE CREATURE

17. What would your costume look like in Halloween Town?

oh does anyone remember that time i drew myself a ghostsona? yeah like that! fancy top hat and coattails spoopy~!

18. What sea-creature would you be in Atlantica?

Maybe that ‘sea bunny’ underwater slug species?

19. If you could have one dream eater with you in your travels, what would it be?

aaaa i havent played KHDDD yet but all of them look so cute and im excited to meet them and find out my favourites!

20. Would you want to travel with a heartless/nobody/unversed with you as a buddy?

YES. YES. YES.

seriously 90% of all my thoughts and posts on this series are just IMMA LOVV THE DARKNESS I WOULD GIVE MYSELF TO THE DARKNESS INSTANTLY TO HUG THESE BABS

21. What would you do if you had free time in a world and didn't have to fight?

HUG THE HEARTLESS

PLAY MINIGAMES

DRESS UP IN WEIRD KINGDOM HEARTS FASHION

SING KARAOKE WITH URSULA

22. In battle, do you prioritize speed or accuracy?

i have no depth perception lol, no accuracy in this house

23. What would be your command style? (2 max!)

i aint play BBS! i aint know! *le shrug*

24. What would be your keyblade transformation?

I aint play kh3 either!

25. What drive form would you use?

ANTI FORM cos i wanna be a COOL CREATURE seriously man FUCK THE LIGHT GIMME THE DARKNESS THE DARKNESS HAS LIL CUTE EYES

26. What would you mainly use flowmotion for?

I aint play KHDDD and also with my bad accuracy i would primarily use it for falling off buildings

27. Would you rely on cure magic, or items for healing?

when i played i was always more of a magicker healer. i feel like itd be the only spell that my khsona has on a mostly physical attack set

28. What would be your break time move?

*breakdancing softly* i aint play BBS dude, i dont kno dis shit

29. What are you better at? Ice cream beat, rumble racing, or fruitball?

it is amazing how much BBS i have not played

30. Would you know how to pilot a gummi ship?

NO i cant even ride a bike IRL lol

31. Would you use the darkness as a weapon?

YES but also NO i would use the darkness as a hugs i would just befriend a bunch of heartless like the dream eaters and cuddle them til they stop being evil

32. WILDCARD, ask me anything!

UHHHH go ahead guys!

#i did it alllll #summon-daze

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b1a4seeyou · 6 years ago

Text

Hacked Your Heart

Summary: They say that fate brings people together no matter how far apart they may be, but what if that fate separates these two people quicker than it should be. As Haneul tries to bear with her everyday lives herself, how will she embrace this tragic ending she’ll face?

Genre: A N G S T with a pinch of fluff.

Rating: None but do embrace with its wonderful “ending“ :3c

Note: I hope you dont mind me ruining the mood with this long angsty fic huihui.This is for @saeyoungweek‘s day 3 prompt, identity. Idk if it is related to it but I’m just winging it lol. Anyways, I had this in my draft for SO LONG like idk when I’ll post this, and when I saw the Saeyoung week thing is coming, I just HAD to shove this in here, hehehehe. The character names are originally from my previous fics so I just reused the names to make my life more easier. Enjoy ;3c

“I have never thought that my life will change after this.” Time passes by as the memories of her late beloved dances in her little mind which made her felt empty. Ever since that incident, she had never gone out of her apartment nor go socializing with her neighbors who are worried of her absences and health. All she ever done was crying, mourning and whining for that one person she wanted in her life. This had all started when she met him back in a few months.

Song Haneul, a normal everyday woman, would always leaned by the doorway frame and wondered who is this person that lives right in front of her, everyday, every night. A door room numbered ‘707’, never been opened but the lights from underneath the door were never went off. She suspected whether this room was possessed or there’s no owner who lives here, but from the other neighbors she had heard, there’s a suspicious man inside the room who locked himself in there and never came out ever since he moved in. A man, she thought. What if he’s a shut in? What if he works late at times when people had gone to bed? What if he is just too shy to talk with people? Questions that never been answered kept piling in her mind until a little girl interrupted her thoughts. “Omma, I’m ready for school. Can we go now?” “Oh! It’s time already? Sure, let’s go.”

Ji Hye, the name of the girl, was her so-called adopted child who she found her near a dark alley at the back of her apartment. She was only 4 years old back then. No one was there and she kept crying out the word ‘mother’ several times. Haneul sent the child to the police but it’s been several days, no one even came to pick her up. Haneul can’t bear to leave her be so she took care of the little girl as her own.

Haneul took her coat and keys then headed outside. Ji Hye had went ahead, waiting her from the stairs. As she tried locking the front door, she sensed that someone was watching her. She looked around but there’s no sign of any human presences. Weird, she whispered. But she shrugged it off and ran off to meet up the little girl.

Few hours had passed, the sun has go down and lights had illuminated the streets. Haneul just arrived home with Ji Hye, who’s jumping around and talking about her school days. Haneul didn’t mind with how enthusiastic the child was, so she just listened through, even though she’s very tired with her work. She turned on the television to the news channel and preparing for dinner. Just she was about to start working on the coffee machine, she heard the female news reporter reading about today’s news. “On today’s report from the police investigators, the on-going case about the missing stolen confidential documents stating that the suspect is a hacker among us. The detective of this case added the suspect would strike again if they can estimate the right time and date.-“ Oh gosh, this is getting more worse. Hopefully they catch the suspect sooner or things would get disastrous, Haneul said in her thoughts as she focused her eyes to the news.

While she was waiting for her coffee, the child pulled the hem of her skirt with a curious expression. She crouched down and asked, “Yes, Jihye?“ “Omma, why don’t I have a father?” Haneul was surprised with Ji Hye’s question but instead she giggled, “Why are you saying that? Not all families has a father. Some had passed away, some had been divorced….” “But you said you’re my adoptive mom. Why don’t I have an adoptive dad?” Haneul went speechless. She actually was expecting this kind of discussion might come to her, knowing she adopt Jihye out of pity. She averted her gaze from the child, trying to think of something that won’t cause any trouble. She then looked to face the child and stroke her head, “I’ll try to think about it.“

Once Jihye went to bed, Haneul tried to finish up her work that night but she was too distracted with the previous conversation. A father huh? She sighed again and ruffled her hair. “I better go get some fresh air,” while walking towards the coat stand, took her coat and left the house to the rooftop. At that moment, a cricking sound of a door opening was heard by Haneul but as she turned around, no sign of a door opened. Just flat closed doors sticking to the wall. “Ooookay, that’s scary. Probably the wind or something.,” she said and continued walking upstairs. As she disappeared, again, the cricking door sound was heard and appeared a red-coloured hair, popping out of the opening.

At the rooftop, Haneul was leaning on the railings and stared at the night scenery of the city around her apartment. Even though she felt calm out there, but the thought of finding a father for Ji Hye’s sake still bothers her mind. ‘Did she really mean that or maybe she was joking around?’ she thought. ‘Aaah!! This is really trying to mess my head. I knew this might come to me but never knew it could this soon. Finding a father for her is one job, getting into a relationship is WORSE.’ But then, she suddenly thought of that door with the number ‘707’ The door that was never been opened, never a person behind that door was outside NOR she ever talk with the owner. ‘Huh, strange. Why am I suddenly thinking about that?’ As she focused on the night scenery,...

“Song Haneul. 23 years old. Born in Gwanju and moved here for work purposes. Status: Single. Appearance: Pure, baby face, long hazel-coloured hair, tall as a bird flies to the air but lands on a tree because it’s too tired. Haha~.” “HUH?!” She turned around and there he was. Red messy hair, golden-like eyes behind those tiger-striped glasses, unique designed hoodie with a pair of headphones around his neck. She was speechless and still blinking at the guy’s figure. Just a few second stare, he walked over to her, She too tried to step back from him, and offered his hand. “Saeyoung. Choi Saeyoung. Never seen a pretty girl in this area, until I laid my eyes on you.”, and winks. She hesitated for a moment, not feeling like she could trust this guy but seeing Saeyoung with that enthusiastic smile, she shook his hand. “Guess I don’t need to tell mine. Haha.” Saeyoung released his hand and walked over to the railings, enjoying the night scenery. “Man, never expect the city to look so big.” She’d been staring at him, wondering who is this unknown person in front of her. Never seen him among the neighbors she met, until she recalled the man’s name. ‘Choi Saeyoung......Hold on-!‘ She remembered her landlord stating someone moved here with that name, and there’s only one apartment that everyone knows which was occupied with a newcomer. “Wait, are you-“, Saeyoung turned to lean on the railings with crossed arms and interrupted Haneul. “If you’re wondering where I came from, then your guess is right. I’m the person from number 707.“

Haneul’s eyes widen. So it is him! She finally get to see his figure for the first time. She looked at him from top to bottom and gave out a sigh of relief. A curious expression was on Saeyoung’s face so he waited until Haneul spoke, “I firstly thought you might be an old man, sitting in his home for decades. Guess my expectation was wrong.“ Saeyoung laughed at her joke. Both of them stare to the outside world in silence, until Haneul decided to ask him, “But wait, how do you know much about me? We never met and I never told you anything about me.“ Saeyoung stroked his chin and answered, “Well, you probably slipped some private information about you somewhere and I found it.“ “Wait what?!“ and she hurriedly checked her pockets, making Saeyoung laughed in amusement. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I’m actually an investigator so I looked through your personal information from the files.“ Haneul sighed in relief. So much for a serious joke like that. They then started making introductions and conversations about random stuff until they realized its a little late. “Ah. I should head back now. I don’t want to leave her alone.“ “Her?“ “Oh, you might not know but I have a daughter. Not my actual daughter though, I adopted her out of pity and as a mother, it’s my job to look out for her.“ She brushed off her coat and faced Saeyoung, “Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr Choi. This probably is our first time seeing each other so welcome to the neighborhood.“ Saeyoung scratched the back of his neck with embarrassment, “Please, just call me Saeyoung. Our age is pretty much close.“ She nodded and turned to head home.

Few days had passed since the sudden meeting. Haneul was preparing for lunch until a sudden door bell was heard. “I’ll get it!“, Jihye shouted enthusiastically. Jihye took the stool beside the door and peeped through the peep hole. “Umm, Omma.....Is this your friend?“ Curious, Haneul wiped her hands with a cloth and peeped through the hole. ‘Oh!’ She then opened the door to reveal the red-haired man. “Saeyoung! Didn’t expect you’re gonna come by.“ “Well, we’re only just a few steps apart haha. Plus, I was gonna ask if I could ask for food.“ He scratched his hair in embarrassment. Haneul was a little confused when Saeyoung’s stomach rumbled in cue. Jihye laughed quietly while Haneul’s lips formed a small smile. “Well, we were just preparing for lunch. You’re welcome to join us.“ She said and gestured him to come inside. Saeyoung looked around the place while Haneul went back to cooking. Once Saeyoung sat on the couch, Jihye jumped on his lap and convinced him to play with him. He looked at Haneul and she just gave a nod of approval.

The food was served and everyone started digging in. Saeyoung was impressed with the food and gave all the compliments to Haneul, which made her feel embarrassed. “Wish I could eat these everyday. Though, I can’t really cook much at home and I only ate chips hehe.“ Jihye then spoke up, “Why not come by if you feel hungry? Omma made the best foods in the world! Right, Omma?“ Haneul was a little hesitated but since Saeyoung is her neighbor, she wouldn’t mind at all. After all, neighbors gotta help each other. “Sure. Just swing by if you want.“ She gave him an approval nod which made Saeyoung cried with joy.

(Pst~ I recommend you to listen to this for this part~)

youtube

From then on, Saeyoung would occasionally came by to her place twice a week. Sometimes, he would hang out to play around with Jihye because of Haneul’s busy work schedule. As time pass, he had been coming pretty often like this is his second home. One day while Saeyoung was playing with Jihye, the little girl suddenly asked him, “Mr Saeyoung, you came here a lot lately. Do you by chance liked Omma?“ Haneul almost choked on her coffee and Saeyoung was kinda shocked but ruffled the girl’s hair, “Aww, you little cute princess. You’re really too young to ask that haha.“ But both the adults took a quick glance while smiling to each other. The more Saeyoung came by, the more Haneul’s heart started to feel warm and fuzzy. She’ll sometimes feel like her heart started to call out for him, her mind started to think of him everyday, her hands would sometimes tried to touch him. At some time, Jihye and Saeyoung slept on the couch, tired from all the playing. Haneul covered them with a blanket but paused to look at Saeyoung’s peaceful sleeping face. She wanted to confess her true feelings to him but sometimes the timing isn’t right. Without thinking, she leaned onto his face and gave a peck on the cheek. She felt a sudden touch on the back of her head, realizing she woke him up. She was about to apologize but Saeyoung shaked his head and whispered, “You kissed the wrong spot.“ And his lips were on hers.

But after what happened, Saeyoung suddenly stopped coming to her place. She thought maybe because of that day but she received a call from him, saying something major at the station so he had to stay there and help out. She would be lying if she said she won’t miss him but everyone has their own work to focus on so she had to understand it. Days to months, she hasn’t seen him ever since. She tried to visit him but every time she knocks the door, no sounds or reply was heard from the other side, not even the light underneath the door. ‘Maybe he did stayed at the station. I’ll try to check on him soon.’

One day, she decided to go grocery shopping. As she walked along the street, televisions from an electronic store was showing the recent news reports. “Here reporting, the police are now tracking the hacker who is behind the stolen documents. The chief leading this gave a few words that the suspect is now hiding in the abandoned government building. The police are now surrounding the building and ready to encounter the suspect. We’re now witnessing the activities of the capture.“ The droid then showed the building being surrounded with police cars with their sirens. ‘Ohmygod.’ Haneul covered her mouth in shock. Suddenly, her phone started ringing and without looking at the number, she answered. “Hello?“ “It’s me.“ Haneul almost felt like dropping to her knees once she heard the person she missed so much but she steadied herself by leaning on the wall. “Saeyoung! Are you okay?! I heard the news that the police are catching the suspect.“ “Yeah, I’m fine...........Well, for just awhile.“ His sudden change of tone from the phone made Haneul anxious and nervous. “S-Saeyoung?“ “Listen here, Haneul. We......I.......don’t think I’ll be seeing you again.“ “W-Wait, what are you saying? I’m sure everything’s al-“ “It’s not, Haneul.“ He sighed, “I just wanna ask you a favor. Please, forget about me. Forget about me being in your existence. It’s for the best for the both of us.“ “No! I don’t understand why you would say that. I know you can come back in one piece. You’re an investigator-“ “I’m sorry.“ Haneul can hear the sounds of his sulking from the other side of the phone, “I’m sorry, Haneul. I.....lied. I’m not an investigator. I’m not even with the police.“ “Wait.......Then-“ “I’m sorry but........I’m the person they wanted. I’m the hacker they’re looking for. I had to fake my identity and stay hidden so no one would find out about me. And I’ll be honest, from the day I first stepped into my new place, I’ve seen you looking at my direction so often. I firstly thought you’re maybe one of them so I installed a small CCTV but the more I see you look at me, the more my mind told me you’re someone to be trusted. So I digged through all your personal information, trying to get to know you better and made my first step on finally talking to you. I was really happy to get close to you. You’re the first person who made me feel like a normal person.“ As Haneul listened, she dropped herself to the ground, holding on her tears from flowing. “So I beg of you, forget about me. So you don’t have to suffer from the pain.“ “NO, SAEYOUNG! If I forget about you, what about our memories together? You’re the first person who I ever love and you’ll always be, no matter who you are. Please......Live......For me.“ “I’m sorry, Haneul. I did terrible things in my previous lives. It’s better if I end this myself once and for all. It was a pleasant feeling to finally meet you-“ “No.“ “- and finally loved you.“ “Saeyoung no!“ “We’ll meet again someday.” “SAEYOUNG NO!“ “Goodbye........Nae sarang.“ “SAEYOUNG!“ But it didn’t reach him as he ended the call. Just a few seconds later, she heard an explosion from the televisions. She quickly got up from the ground and watched as the building crumbled to the ground. ‘Saeyoung...........Saeyoung......No......‘ As she witnessed this, she dropped to her knees and let the tears flow from her eyes, not caring the people looking at her direction. She can feel her heart crushed to pieces and her breathing went rapidly fast. She bend herself to the ground and shouted the name of the man she’s desperate to see again.

#saeyoungweek #Mystic Messenger #Choi Saeyoung #Angst #OH BOY HERE WE GO #LET US SUFFER TOGETHER #This is like the longest one shot fic I ever wrote so please BEAR WITH ME #And the fact one character has to die I'm so mean #Eunhwa writes

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logs-blogs-reviews · 4 years ago

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The Black Parade - Short & Very, Very Sweet

Tracklist:

1. The End

2. Dead!

3. This is How I Disappear

4. The Sharpest Lives

5. Welcome to The Black Parade

6. I Don’t Love You

7. House of Wolves

8. Cancer

9. Mama

10. Sleep

12. Disenchanted

13. Famous Last Words

Okay, let’s try this out. Hmm, The End > Dead! is a classic duo, and shapes our narrative. “This is How I Disappear” is where the drums get to begin to boom, the guitars get mean and strict on their counts, and your head is banging like a motherfucker before you know it. I actually would say this song is in the top 4 for me off this album. A true highlight, but we’re still just getting started

“without you is how i disappear and live my life alone, forever.....

/So I can’t hurt you anymore....” The final harmonies from Gerard are just....... <3

The Sharpest Lives one of the most unique songs I’ve ever heard. I heard it at a young age, I think this album came out in 2006, so I was in middle school, only having access to the downloads I could find, and this song was available. So..... no matter WHEN and how often I listen to this album, I’ll be reminded of driving around in the car with my dad. That’s when I listened to it the most. And I like that sediment in which its held.

The poetry in this album is not to go unnoticed. My Chemical Romance has always has a knack for getting the lyrics perfect.

.....And there it is. That FUCKING NOTE. Yes, this is the heart of the album. This is worth the first 30 minutes. You know, while this song plays, I’ll say, I find it hard now days to visit this album in doses as such “single songs”. This is such a short enough album, it’s too hard not to admit you might have ten minutes under the hour to yourself, why not? It’s 50 minutes long (the original release)

I love that it’s short and sweet, and too the point. ......And then we hear, “Sometimes I get the feeling she’s watching over me”

The guitars in welcome to the black parade are BRUTAL. These songs are just so, unlike anything other band.

“I’m not ashamed, I’m going to show my scars”

The guitar in this song is unreal. These guys play very fast and I am inlove with it.

Track #6 is “I don’t Love You” which is a good come down from all of the energy the first act has punched at us. God, Gerard’s voice..... <3

While this song plays, let me just set the mood. I kind of had a shit workday and decided to just put this album on. I plan on listening to tons and tons of more music tonight, and maybe watching some more “VH1′s behind the music” I don’t know if a single person will ever read these posts. but I like this idea, and I like the idea of another fan discussing an album that, just resonates so deeply with them. The band created all of this - I did not, I had nothing to do with any of it. But, God damn, if we can’t relate to feeling scared, feeling hurt, and feeling empty and sad inside.

I Don’t Love you is still playing. and I am getting chills. <3

House of Wolves is a good change of beat. The drums in this one are my favorite treat of the entire song.

“Tell me I’m a bad man, kick me like a stray!!”

Dude, I totally forgot, that SLIDE GUITAR. This song has helped me out a lot in my life. This one has stuck out while in some of my deepest trips.

I am a total bitch for piano. And I have always loved this song because I enjoyed singing a lot when I was getting antiquated with this band back in my earlier years. And, I just made the lyrics in my head a LOT. As I grew older, I stoppepd singing outloud and I let the music play and I HEARD what they wrote down. This song reminds me of my uncle who is currently going to chemo and not feelign too great. I love him a lot. I want him to get better. I know he will.

On a different note, the lyric, “Know that I WILL NEVER MARRY!!” is performed with the most angelic sounding voice, in the world.

“The hardest part of this is leaving you.” Again, the poetry is the real star of this band.

Mama is always stuck in my head. I love this song. It’s simple and it’s a groove. So, I am a total bitch for it. lol :P

“stop asking! Me questions!!! I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY”

“You should have been - I could have been a better son”

Now, I can’t quite conduct a good wrap up for this album. Music is what we get out of it. I love it. It’s a good album after a rotten day of work. It’s a good break up album. I find music like this, it’s almost a little hard to put on when you’re just at home relaxing. When I was a kid, yes, I listened to this all the time without a second thought, but now these lyrics these stories and characters the songs share with us, I have to be in the mood for it. (nowadays at least) That’s not to say, I don’t enjoy it when I’m in a good mood, but it’s just hard to revisit music that has truly helped you shaped out your personality on some of your worst days. These musicians help so many people, I think that is so cool.

Sleep reminds me of a green day song, bang bang and I have no idea why. It’s a chill-ass song. Can’t really come up with much more for this one. Not necessarily one that sticks out for me. But I love the intro. Bang bang is more fast but idk they go together good on a playlist. After all of the hype the first 30 minutes gives you, this song is a necessary cool-down. “Just sleep....”

The guitar into for Disenchanted hasnt started yet but I know its coming <3

TEENAGERS!! What a great surprise!! I forgot this song was on here!!!

“THEY SAY ALL TEENAGERS SCARE!!!! THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME”

(blistering guitar solo) FUCK YES god, i never really had a love affair with this song either but idk, its working for me right now. I cant stop thinking of the music video lol will probably watch it later tonight!!

Shit I’m just remembering MCR was suppose to play in MA before C-19 ruined it. </3

Ahh, yes, “Well I was there, on the day.... They sold the cause for the queen””

I always loved this one. Maybe top 3 off the album.

Shit, I have to do my top 5 now.

5. The End

4. This is How I Disappear

3. Disenchanted

2. Mama/Cancer - both a tie for #2

1. Welcome to the Black Parade / Famous Last Words - Yes fuck you, its a TIE

God, I LOVE THIS BAND

Here’s another shot because, I had kind of a CRAP DAY AND I know all the station password ;P lol jk jk BUt I am getting more drunk by the minute, cheers.

Okay, I knew it was coming. I’m just gonna headbang the last 5 minutes, again, cheers.

Enjoy California sweetie.

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nkajima · 7 years ago

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I’ve translated Sexy Zone’s interview in the latest issue of TVnavi SMILE! As it is my first translation project and I’m still learning Japanese, there are bound to be some inaccuracies and mistakes. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this interview! I had a lot of fun translating it and look forward to posting more of my translations.

Credits for the original scans are to yoshiko_mama on LJ!

Sexy Zone has released their single ‘Gyutto’, the theme song for the drama ‘Wagahai no Heya de Aru’ starring Kikuchi Fuma. From these five people with sharp feelings and senses, we received their confessions and views on their work and motivations.

Q. What was a recent moment where you felt warm or healed?

Marius: I was healed when I watched the news about the pandas at Ueno Zoo. But because I was watching it for a while, I guess I felt somewhat sorry for them. Later at a big retail store, I bought about four cheap and soft cushions. Because they were so fluffy and I put them on top of the sofa, I felt so comfortable even by myself. I thought about watching my favorite drama and while I was watching, I didn’t realize that I fell asleep. When I noticed it was something like 2 AM in the morning, I said ‘Oh no, I have to brush my teeth’. I was troubled because it was too comfortable (lol).

Shori: Because I’m a little embarrassed about being healed, I honestly do not want to say much as a guy (lol). Well, I guess it’s the parakeet I own named ‘Ki’. Because she’s lonely, if I take her out of the bird cage, she goes on my shoulder and always follows me. It didn’t feel like I worked hard to tame her, since the beginning she follows me. Well, I’m certainly healed (lol).

Sou: When I work with Marius, I feel warm and healed. Even if Marius doesn’t concentrate and I get a little irritated, I still fawn over him and feel that he’s cute and I forgive everything (lol). When I say things like ‘Marius is cute today, too~’, he cutely replies with ‘Sou-chan, thank you~’. Because this kind of thing seems like Marius, even if he’s becoming more and more of an adult, I want this Marius as he is now always.

Fuma: We went to an elementary school to record the PV for our new song ‘Gyutto’, and there were notices for the PV screening telling fathers, mothers, and friends to ‘Please come and see it’. When I picked up one such notice, a child had written ‘If you can, please come and see it.’ I was almost crying because of such kindness. When I was 4 years old, it was such an ordinary feeling for my parents to come see me (lol). Because I saw that as I’m now becoming an adult, I thought it was a caring and kind child and it healed me.

Kento: I went to see an original animated American movie, but, ah….is it okay if I only talk about movies? Anyways…I was healed by the cuteness of the leading actress (lol)! She is a princess who grew up on an island with only women, but one day, she meets a lost pilot who changes her life. When the two of them are about to kiss, the scene is zoomed out. Somehow, this becomes more effective than directly showing the kiss. I don’t know why, but I was strangely healed.

Q. What is something you’ve received recently that motivated you?

Shori: I guess it’s Mr. Children’s single ‘himawari’. The songs are awesome, and I watched a documentary that comes with the CD. It shows how Sakurai (Kazutoshi) san makes songs, and things like how the members of Mr. Children produce those songs and thus their production process is followed. I’ve always liked Mr. Children. I somehow thought Sakurai-san was the center of the group, but in reality, all four members work together. They would say, ‘Okay, let’s try changing the drums a little bit’, and the instruments are changed. Then the bass is also slightly changed to match the rhythm, and the small details are steadily adjusted by the four members. All the members of the band become able to derive one sound. Because that was the first time I became aware of this, it was fun and I learned a lot.

Sou: If it’s other than Johnny’s, I watch overseas artists’ performances that I think would be good to draw motivation from. Right now, I’m watching overseas dramas. People from overseas, and Marius too, their gestures are amazing. It’s because of their expressive ability. If it’s in a drama it will be exaggerated, but because on stage you’re asked for it, when I watch overseas performances I think I can make some use of the stage.

Marius: The other day when I went to Harajuku for shopping, a huge crowd of people were lined up to buy a brand’s collaboration bag. It felt like you couldn’t go through the road at all. Although it’s an incredibly popular brand, the more I think about it, everyone wanted that one bag, and I thought it was amazing that hundreds of people were lined up. The power that “thing” has is enough to attract everyone into making them believe they like it. I am not a “thing”, but I’d like to think I have that kind of charm. And Sexy Zone also. I feel that I do my own shopping after deciding the basics. I go shopping slowly, but if I have no time, I look at a store’s stock in advance and buy things only by fitting the size.

Kento: The other day, I cried in a movie theater after a long time. Originally, I wanted to watch a film by Tsukikawa Sho, who was the same director as ‘Kurosaki-kun no Iinari ni Nante Naranai’, and by chance my friend recommended it to me, saying “It was good so you should go see it”. The heroine’s indescribable idol feeling contrasted with the main hero’s real feeling. Already then, the main hero’s feeling of emptiness is really painful….my heart was pained. I still have not been able to meet the director, but I want to tell him soon that it was awesome!!!

Fuma: I was motivated by Eito-niisan’s (Kanjani 8) live performance. 50 minutes after the opening, I was surprised that it become an all-band performance. They really didn’t move from the stage, and because I like bands it was cool. When I want to see them, they made a mistake, but then the members laughed after. They said, “Sorry, sorry, let’s try one more time!”, and then decided to completely start over from the beginning. I got goosebumps from wondering if there was ever a living feeling like this seen in Johnny’s live performances so far. The feeling of the members and the fans was also really nice. After that, they came out with completely sparkling costumes as if it was the opening once more. The non-moving band was intense, and it seemed that the audience was getting really excited because a part of them was kept in suspense.

Q. What is something you’ve learned in a recent work?

Shori: As expected it’s my ‘Summer Paradise’ live performance. It was hard for me to make, so I learned a lot. Since I had been making the original draft since May while on tour with Sexy Zone, I wondered if it was possible to complete it. Creating a live performance is sometimes fun or painful, but either way it’s normal to have both feelings. I think that in work it’s also basic.

Sou: In specific terms, although it’s difficult, it’s more fun to do something with goals in mind so I become aware that I’m trying to create tasks one by one and clear them. For example, on a variety show communication is important, so first you remember the names of the performers, and then you speak on your own accord, and if you act frankly it becomes easier to speak on the show. In that case, it would be good if I can get a chance to do this. Since I already know the position of where I stand in the group, it’s a question as to how I can make use of it and respond to myself. But if I go overboard in trying to be funny, it becomes a type that’s not funny at all (lol). I normally try to challenge myself as much as possible, and when the members pick up on it at an irrelevant time, I guess it becomes something like flowers blooming (lol)?

Marius: I saw Shori-kun’s Summer Paradise concert and his balance was amazing and easy to see. I didn’t get tired like at an ordinary concert, and I felt refreshed while watching it. Every segment flowed with the selected songs, making a concert where it’s easy to see the direction of its course. Unlike I imagined, I became really energetic. For our concerts also, I discussed how to skillfully combine my ideas with Sou-chan’s and I learned a lot.

Q. What are you learning on set of your movie ‘Miseinen Dake Kodomo Janai’?

Kento: Director Hanabusa’s stance on set is truly amazing. I’m learning a lot from him, or perhaps I should say I’ve completely fallen in love with him (lol). Before filming, he always comes to the makeup room where the cast is preparing. ‘How are you today? Nao-kun (my character’s name) how are you?’, he tells me. And then, while explaining the scene we’re to shoot that day, he tells us in the kitchen how he wants to film the scene. His sincere attitude in approaching his work is cool, and he’s also really funny and makes us laugh a lot. I’m learning a lot through his personality and his way of creating an atmosphere on set. I love you, Director Hanabusa!

Q. What are you learning on set of your leading drama ‘Wagahai no Heya de Aru’?

Fuma: Because I’m by myself in the drama I have a lot of lines, and although I managed to get two episodes in my head before we started filming, I shot one episode in two days and just like that I’ve exhausted my memory (lol). In the morning I memorize my lines, and then again during lunch breaks, and also during my evening breaks. It’s a drama, but it’s also an everyday challenge on the limit of my memorization ability (lol).

#sexy zone #shori sato #matsushima sou #marius yo #kikuchi fuma #nakajima kento #translations

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shaydixons · 7 years ago

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wlw survey results

thank you so much to everyone who participated in mine and @aliciqvikander ’s survey! we ended up getting 221 responses. below is a breakdown of each question.

disclaimer: there were a couple of responses that we considered to be disrespectful or homophobic that we decided to delete from the survey pool. the idea of this survey was to gauge the feelings & opinions of wlw skam fans regarding lgbt representation in the show; it was made with wlw fans in mind, and there were some skam fans who decided to take the survey and give disrespectful/homophobic answers, which was not the point of the survey.

part 1: demographics

what is your sexuality?

the most common were lesbians (83 people) and bisexuals (74 people), followed by 22 pan people and 17 questioning, only 4 straight people (whose answers we didn’t delete bc they weren’t disrespectful). there were also several people who identified as gay (4), queer (2), sapphic (2), asexual (5), or other sexualities (lesbian ace, demisexual pansexual, biromantic with a preference towards women, panromantic ace, biromantic asexual)

what is your gender?

the most common answers were female/woman/girl/cis girl, with many nb people (19), as well as several questioning people (5), and just 2 men.

what is your age?

the most common answer was 17-19 (90), with many 20-24 year olds (62) and 14-16 year olds (51), as well as 9 25-30 year olds and 7 people over 30, and just 2 under 14.

where are you from?

there were people from all over who took the survey, but the most common answers were the US, Sweden, France, UK, Brazil, Finland, and Norway.

when did you start watching Skam?

the most common answer by far was season 3 (155), followed by season 4 (32), then season 1 (23), then season 2 (10).

part 2: opinions

what is your favorite season?

the most common answer was season 3 (141), then season 1 (65), then season 4 (10) and just 2 people favored season 2.

what fandoms are you a part of?

the most common answer to this was obviously tumblr (212) seeing as we posted the survey on tumblr. Other popular answers were twitter (34) and instagram (42), other than that we have some sprinkled answers such as discord, jodel and facebook. Plus some people who said they were not really active in any fandom.

who are your top 3 characters?

the most favored characters in order are Sana (158), Isak (117), Eva (104), Even (94), Noora (59), Vilde (53), Jonas (33), Chris (16), Elias (14), Yousef (8), a tie between Magnus and Mahdi (5), Eskild (3), 2 people wanted to specify that they liked season 1 Noora, and one vote for Dr. Skrulle! (specifically: that fierce school nurse lady whose name i don't remember but she's really cool”) Nobody picked Wilhelm.

who is your favorite canon ship?

the most picked ship was evak (166), after that we have yousana (44) and then joneva (6). four people also replied that they dont really care for any ship and there was one vote for noorhelm (although it’s worth noting that the one vote came from one of the only two men who took the survey). not one person chose vagnus.

[edit: the person who chose noorhelm messaged me to tell me that they clicked noorhelm by mistake and meant to choose yousana!]

who are your favorite non-canon ships?

The most common answers were Nooreva (170), Evilde (156), Evana (58) and Sanoora (39). Other popular ones were Noorvilde (31), Johdi (26), Noorevilde (24), Joora (15), Chrisana and Chrilde both had 10, Mohnstad had 8, Sana x Vilde had 7, Jonas x PChris and Mikael x Jonas both had 4, and there were other assorted ships including Vilde x Some hipster girl that could have been introduced in her season (3), Vilde x The soft butch lesbian she would have dated in her season (1), Isak x PChris (2), Elias/Eskild (2), Eva/Iben (1), Noora/Mari (1), Adam x Mutta (1), Vilde x Ingrid (1)

What is Vilde’s sexuality?

this was one of the most unified questions with a total of 204 out of 221 saying shes a lesbian! the other answers were bi (13) and pan (4)

What is Noora’s sexuality?

the most common answer was lesbian (110), followed by bisexual (61), then straight (29), then pan (18). i think it’s worth noting that we saw a pattern that bisexual was often put by bisexuals and pansexual was also put by a lot of pansexuals, so maybe people just see themselves in Noora.

What’s Eva’s sexuality?

This question was, as Vilde’s, very unified with 209 out of 220 answering bisexual then there were 6 people who answered pan, 4 people who answered straight, and 1 who answered lesbian.

What is Sana’s sexuality?

this one was pretty split! the most common answer was bi (104), followed by straight (81), then pan (28), then lesbian (2).

What is Chris’s sexuality?

this one was also pretty split! the most common answer is pan (117), followed by straight (65), then bi (22), then lesbian (11)

Opinion on queerbaiting & Vilde?

the overwhelmingly popular opinion is that queerbaiting did happen. 109 people said there was explicit queerbaiting, 81 people said they originally meant to make Vilde a lesbian then decided not to, only 3 people said there was no queerbaiting, and there were also an array of answers, most of which say queerbaiting did happen. (“I'm super torn bc I feel Vilde is a lesbian but she doesn't realize it yet. Like I believe she would figure it out in college (and I think her dating Magnus is important in her self discovery) and ugh I wish we could get an epilogue of some sort with her a canon lesbian. Unfortunately if that doesn't happen, I feel like it is queerbaiting.”) (“julie treats lesbians like were a fucking joke”) (“i will be on my deathbed telling everyone that vilde lien hellerud was a lesbian and showing them my powerpoint on all the signs throughout the seasons but honestly idk if they really meant for her to be gay or not. she is in my heart tho.”)

opinion on noorhelm?

the most popular answer by far was “wilhelm is an abuser who can rot in hell and Noora deserved better” (161). 27 people say they were a bad couple, 13 people say they were okay but not as bad as people say, ZERO people said they were cute, there were also an array of write-in answers, mostly negative. (“Some parts of their relationships were good, the rest - pure trash on wilhelm's part”) (“classic romance novel damage, gaslighting & emotional manipulation”) (“I swear to christ, WillHELL does not deserve Noora - only Eva does, duh - and their whole relationship didn't make any sense from a character point of view! Also I hate that they had to take this beautiful, strong woman's season and make it about a guy! An emotional ABUSER at that!! Like whyyyyy???????????”) (“DICKHELM NEEDS TO JUST GET OUT. PRISON. SOMEWHERE SECLUDED. NO ONE DESERVES TO LAY THEIR EYES ON HIM. i hate him with a passion i swear to fucking god I HAD TO MOTIVATE MYSELF TO WATCH S2 and i was in complete pain whenever dickhelm was on screen i hate him and NOORA IS A LIPSTICK LESBIAN DONT TELL ME OTHERWISE SHE DESERVES BETTER”)

opinion on nooreva?

this one was pretty evenly split! the most popular answer is that they were set up as a couple (85), followed by they would be a cute couple but they were platonic in canon (80), followed by they were in love in canon (54), and only 2 people said they were just friends.

what do you think of the skam fandom?

most people think it’s fine as far as fandoms go (126), then it was a tie between a great fandom and mostly demonic, each with 47.

for wlw: could you relate to vilde’s behavior?

i’ll be honest with you guys, we probably should have made this a write-in question rather than multiple choice because the results were not very conclusive. 75 lesbians could see themselves in her, 64 bisexuals could see themselves in her, 13 pansexuals could see themselves in her, and 30 people said no.

part 3: long-answer questions

why do you think julie didn’t want to include wlw in the show?

the consensus was that either she’s lesbophobic, the show is written with straight people in mind, or she wanted to but ended up not finding the time to write it in. every answer was wonderful and i wish we could include them all, but here are a couple ones that i like:

bc she's a classic lesbophobic piece of shit and believes wlw can't exist except for punchlines and ridicule

probably because she thought it wouldn't sell as well as an mlm couple. i mean you gotta please those straight girls

She Is Bad at Writing and forgets wtf she is doing and hates logically developing characters

"we did one storyline about exploring sexuality so that's all we need! anything else would be overkill :)))" and also trying to appeal/relate to straight teenage girls. also noora should have been a lesbian but julie used her as a self insert character. also just generally media doesn't take wlw seriously our perceive our relationships/feelings as legitimate

cause she's a typical straight girl who thinks wlw are icky/she's actually a closeted lesbian who hasn't realised yet

are you disappointed with the lgbt representation in skam? please elaborate.

the consensus is that isak, even, and eskild are all wonderful and they’re great for what they are, which is 2 white gays and 1 white pan boy. it would have been great to have some diversity, especially by adding a wlw, specifically vilde or eva. here are a few i like:

For a show that was originally made for teenage girls and to accurately represent them its unbelievable they didnt include a single wlw character. Evak was nice but in s4 turned into complete fanservice and they lost a lot of the development they made in s3. WHERE ARE THE LESBIANS JULIE

definitely like dude evak was cute and all, and powerful and moving, and I was infinitely glad that was represented onscreen. but on the other hand—that wasn't me? and for a show that claimed to be so progressive, it seemed to mock the concept of bi girls and lesbians at every single turn. fuck, when i think about how noora's response to vilde's er du lesbisk question I still get so pissed

lol yeah julie andem treats lesbian existence as a literal joke and yet she still gets all this praise for the great lgbt rep on her show because of isak and even (and s3 was good but in s4 they didn't even feel like they're own characters anymore just a couple with all these weird nods to evak fans)

Yes, in a show meant for teenage girls the only LGBT representation was with a gay boy and a pan boy, and that's because straight girls love to fetishize and obsess over gay boys for some reason. The fact that Julie only wrote about LGBT boys indicates to me that she is writing the show not for all teenage girls, but for the straight teenage girls that she used to be.

yessss. how can we have three mlm but no wlw??? its like whooo we have a canon pan guy, but if i remember correctly he never actually says the word? and eskild is obviously written as gay, but im pretty sure we see eva and vilde kiss more times than we see eskild kiss a guy, and still they're both supposed to be straight?? and like eva, noora and vilde all have so many characteristics of lesbians/bi girls, yet NONE of them turned out to be wlw in canon?? thats so fucking unrealistic!! in my whole friend circle of about 15 girls, there's maybe three who identify as 100% straight, and multiple who have come out as bi or pan, so how come skam has none?

what did you think of season 4?

the general consensus is that it was rushed and messy, that wilhelm ruined it, and that sana was sidelined in her own season. there were a few people who said they liked it, and some pros that were written were that iman was wonderful, the balloon squad was great, the los losers scene, and that they liked yousana. here are a few great ones:

horribly written, with subtle racism and islamophobia to boot. sana deserved so much better. also, bringing back william and p-chris was so unnecessary. they were making progress with noora realizing that william never loved her and was an abuser, and then it's like they backtracked on all of that just for...what purpose? completely unnecessary. noora, vilde, and eva don't need any men in their lives, and any tying of loose ends of their stories in season 4 should have been about that.

pandering to women who fetishize evak/queer male relationships!!! also some major other bullshit!!! (why is william back wtf, why is p chris still around, why tf are evak living together theyre children, vilde needed season 6 to #come #out though so im not too mad)

I think it suffered from weak writing more than anything else. The story totally stalled out at the hiatus and Julie seemed to be unable to get it going again and then found herself without enough time to tell the whole story. She is saved as usual by the strength of her characters-- I think she's great at character building but very over-rated as a storyteller.

(this one is really long but i thought it was eloquent and great)

HAHAHAHA where to start. It’s almost my least favorite season, nearly tied with S2, though my burning hatred of William edges out. But I will say that from a writing perspective, as much as I despise Noorhelm, their relationship kept S2 anchored and prevented the season from losing focus too often. I do think S2 was messier and more bloated than S1 and S3, but it still feels like a more cohesive narrative than S4, which was so sloppy that I can’t believe the same person wrote something as tight as S3. The criticisms seem almost endless and I’ll probably forget something but here are a few off the top of my head: -TERRIBLE SEASON FOR GIRL SQUAD. This is what really surprised me about S4. It was the last chance to enjoy them as a friendship unit and most of the season they were unbearable. I’m not saying they had to have a perfect friendship, I was expecting some conflict and I was fine with that but it was almost all unpleasant moments with no good moments to balance them out. Sana having to apologize for everything but the rest of the girls never apologizing for their ignorance or hurtfulness. Eva and Chris doing nothing but partying most of the time. Vilde being an annoying caricature. Noora … I’ll get to Noora. The los losers clip is a good moment in itself but doesn’t make sense in the larger context, there are several plot holes, and we never ever hear the girls talk about their issues afterwards. -Noora was overused at the expense of the other girls, including Sana, and I couldn’t even enjoy her and Sana’s relationship because I felt like it wasn’t there to explore their friendship, but to give an excuse for Noorhelm to rise again and to get Noora involved in the stupid Sana/Yousef/Noora triangle. I loved Noora but it felt like all the other girls were unfavorably compared to her, like of course Noora got to be Sana’s ally and Vilde/Chris/Eva were just off being drunk and terrible somewhere. It got ridiculous in episode 9 when we started getting texts about Noora’s living situation, of course it’s Noora who Sana’s mom thinks is beautiful with her red lipstick, of course it was Noora who gets to give Sana detailed advice in Maghrib and the other girls have less to contribute. There were a few moments with Chris, maybe. But we got better material from Vilde, Chris, and Eva in the last episode than we’d gotten all season. -Sana taking a backseat to Noorhelm drama at the climax of her own season, enough said. -Even’s plotline being dropped … after what was widely considered a respectful portrayal of mental illness in S3, Julie hugely messed up with Even in S4. Yeah, it was Sana’s season, but maybe don’t introduce a character’s suicide attempt if you’re not going to address it properly? The utter shittiness of having a mentally ill character who says he’s tired of people trying to tell him how he feels, and never letting him give his own side of the story, only hearing it from other people. -A fight that makes no sense, a love triangle that makes no sense, characters not talking to each other just to prolong the drama, characters acting OOC, characters acting like the worst versions of themselves. -Bad pacing, subplots being juggled and dropped and picked up and abandoned at whim, so much filler and wasted time. I've seen people say Sana was out of focus because Julie had to wrap up loose ends but like, she didn't? She spent time on bullshit no one cared about and ignored actual dangling plot threads. Why are we spending so much time on racist Pepsi Max girls and what's up with Noora and Yousef or Noora and William when we could be addressing Vilde's mysterious home life, giving Chris depth other than funny fat girl, getting into this Even sad backstory that Julie chose to introduce in Sana's season, exploring why Elias got so drunk he could barely stand... the list goes on? Not to mention, you know, focusing on SANA. I’m going to stop now because I’ll be here all day, lol. The thing is, as messed-up as this season is, I’d still rather have this than nothing, sadly, because Iman is wonderful and I enjoyed seeing her show off her acting chops. I wish she could have had a better season but I’m happy such an awesome human being got to be so visible; even if the season was disappointing, Iman being in the public eye meant a lot to Muslim girls around the world. And I’ll always be thankful to Julie for Evak, because their relationship was one aspect of canon that was consistently well-handled. Their story resonated with me and meant a lot to me. I just wish everything else in the show was treated with as much care as the Evak romance, and that S4 was as carefully and thoughtfully written as S3.

CONCLUSION: wlw skam fans were disappointed in the lack of representation, as well as the last season of the show. evak was great, but it would have meant the world to many of us to make one of the female characters not straight, especially after all of the queerbaiting. the VAST majority of people think that vilde was a lesbian, which is very telling. also wlw love sana and hate wilhelm.

bonus: some of my favorite nicknames for william: willdevil, willdick, woldemort, willhellfuck, willfickle, willhellanusfuckingdickface, also @cosa-fea who called him a “sinewy man toe”

thank you all SO MUCH for taking the survey and for giving such wonderful answers. i’m glad we can all agree on some things, like william being terrible and vilde being a lesbian.

#warning this is really long #your guys' answers were so great thank you so much!#skam #skamily #skamwlwnet

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 5th May 2019 (Stormzy, Taylor Swift, bird sounds lol)

This week is really busy and crazy, so I’m going to try and keep it brief – although I have a lot to say.

Top 10

The biggest – or the first immediately notable – story is the new number-one, as “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy, reaching a peak of 12.6 million streams in its first week, the most ever for a British rapper. Its battle with our number-three spot was heavily publicised and Stormzy (And Lil Nas X) understandably won, mostly because of timing, however I don’t think Taylor Swift could have gotten the number-one spot anyway. At least pop music has gotten exciting, I guess – doesn’t mean the UK charts are any good right now, but it’s a significant improvement. This song is massive as is its video, and Stormzy’s first-ever #1 on the chart as a credited artist, and fourteenth top 40 overall (It’s his sixth top 10 hit overall). I pray to God this crosses over to the US, because, yes, I think it can.

To my surprise, Lil Nas X is still at number-two with “Old Town Road”, down a spot from last week, featuring Billy Ray Cyrus. I thought it’d be left demolished by Swift and Stormzy, but here we are, I suppose. Speaking of...

At number-three, we have another debut, Taylor Swift’s 25th (!) Top 40 hit and her 13th Top 10 hit, and Brendon Urie’s sixth Top 40 hit and first ever Top 10 hit, “ME!” credited to Taylor Swift featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco, or as the YouTube video claimed, “(feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco) ft. Brendon Urie”. I’ll talk more about this and “Vossi Bop” later, but it’s safe to say that this was even huger than Stormzy’s track, at least worldwide, yet was beaten in pure sales and streaming. I guess that’s what we get for not counting radio on the UK charts.

Now it gets less interesting. “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is down one spot to number-four, thankfully.

“Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys is naturally down three spots to number-five thanks to the sheer power of the top three.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is down two spaces to number-six.

The late Avicii’s posthumous release “SOS”, featuring Aloe Blacc, is down one position to number-seven.

Tom Walker’s “Just You and I” is holding on, down three to number-eight.

Russ (Splash) and Tion Wayne’s “Keisha & Becky” is still safe off of the remix’s longevity, down a spot to number-nine.

Finally, rounding off the top 10 at #10, is “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy, up a singular spot from last week.

Climbers

Okay, first of all, “All Day and Night” by Jax Jones and Martin Solveig as EUROPA featuring Madison Beer is only up two spaces so it’s not notable enough, but may I add that the official single image was used for weeks until they decided to use the thumbnail for a version uploaded via TunesToTube.com and I’m not joking, the watermark is still present and visible in the image used – how does this slip through the cracks? Anyways, “No Diet” by Digga D is up seven to #20, becoming his first ever UK Top 20 hit, “Carry On” by Kygo and Rita Ora from Detective Pikachu is up nine spaces to #30, and that’s all.

Fallers

Fallers are a different story though, there’s quite a lot to talk about here. First of all, the streaming for Jonas Brothers’ “Sucker” may or may not have been cut as it’s down six spaces to #13, whilst four consecutive early 2019 hits continue their gradual fades out of relevance, with “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man down eight to #24 but “Don’t Feel Like Crying” by Sigrid, “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan as well as “Don’t Call Me Up” by Mabel all down six positions to fill up the #25-#27 slots. I’m also unsure to why there are premature drops for George Ezra’s “Pretty Shining People” down 12 to #37 and “Let Me Down Slowly” by Alec Benjamin featuring Alessia Cara down seven to #38, although our final drop here from Post Malone with “Wow.” down six to #40 is fully expected.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Some earlier 2019 hits are making room for the Summer it seems, perhaps due to streaming cuts as “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish is out from #15 and “Dancing with a Stranger” by Sam Smith and Normani is out from #36. Some songs that never went anywhere like “Who Do You Love” by The Chainsmokers featuring 5 Seconds of Summer and “MONOPOLY” by Ariana Grande and Victoria Monet are also out, from #38 and #40 respectively, but the biggest story is George Ezra’s “Shotgun”, which has spent nearly all of its 58 non-consecutive weeks on the Top 75 chart in the Top 40, and is finally out from #30 – although it’s still outside of the top 40. Other than that, there are no drop-outs or returning entries to speak of, so let’s get to reviewing the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Sixteen” – Ellie Goulding

Produced by Mike Wise and FRED – Peaked at #19 in Scotland

Okay, so, I’ve never had to talk about Ellie Goulding all too much, and to be perfectly honest, she’s continued to sour on me the more she puts out and the less unique her material gets. Sure, her songwriting chops have always been there and hopefully always will, but she isn’t as interesting as I wish she was, especially instrumentally as while her producers carved her own lane back when she was making stuff like “Lights”, she seems just to be chasing trends in recent years. Regardless of my opinion of Ellie Goulding, she’s made some good stuff and this is her twenty-second UK Top 40 hit, so let’s see how it fares... well, this sure would be mediocre in 2016. In 2019, it sure exists. Remember tropical house? Yeah, you love that, right? Well, let’s mix it with the boring and dull vaguely-pop music of 2019, and make what isn’t a disaster at all, somehow. It starts abruptly with a looped and manipulated vocal sample that goes nowhere, before cutting to an immediately pretty interesting guitar-lead verse, which then kicks into gear for a really bouncy, fun pre-chorus. Then the chorus comes in where Goulding strains her voice talking about being 16 and wearing her significant other’s T-shirt, and all of the momentum is killed when it drops into that manipulated vocal sample. Do I appreciate the tongue-in-cheek MSN reference? Of course, I do, and the lyrics are actually very unique and I’d argue pretty great, and really invokes that youthful sense of exploration and feeling like you can do it all, you’re on top of the world... but I’m not sure if it holds up sonically, especially with that freaking drop, it really isn’t pleasant and feels like a remnant of recent past. Overall, it’s okay and I don’t really care about it enough but I understand the appeal, as with Goulding’s work overall.

#34 – “Don’t Worry Bout Me” – Zara Larsson, not featuring Alessia Cara

Produced by The Struts – Peaked at #7 in Sweden

I say NOT featuring Alessia Cara, mostly because BBC seems to think it does. Sigh, there’s an insane amount of mistakes on this week’s entry. Anyway, this is Zara Larsson’s new single and like all of her singles it has a massive singles push, and by that I mean an incredible amount of pretty pointless remixes, whilst the original is just a cloudy pop single that doesn’t stand out at all from the rest. This particular single, co-written with goddess Tove Lo, is her ninth UK Top 40 single and only slightly more recognisable, mostly because it takes an 80s/early 2010s fusion of dance-pop that was pretty interesting but the build-up feels a bit drawn-out, with the lack of percussion making the way-too-obvious autotune stick out like a sore thumb, but once the strings and 808s hit, it’s not much but it does add a lot of drama and that cinematic feel is immediately killed by the drop, but the chorus is a catchy kiss-off, and the fast-paced percussion and house music-influenced bass does add a lot of bounce to the hook, and it is pretty fun. There’s a really nasal, eerie synth sound in the bridge that was irritating at first but did grow on me, but then it disappears for the entirety of the last chorus and outro, which doesn’t add any sense of climax or finality at all. The rest of the song doesn’t exist. Next.

#18 – “Let Nature Sing” – The RSPB

Produced by literal birds

So, this is the confusing one I think I might have to explain a bit. “Let Nature Sing” is a campaign more than it is a hit single, as The RSPB isn’t a band, rather it’s one of the largest wildlife charities in Europe, specifically the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. Now this isn’t a pandering charity single with a bunch of celebrities singing vague lyrics about we love the Earth, it is our planet, we love the Earth, it is our home, no, it’s literal birdsong – for two minutes and thirty-two seconds. Now, initially, I had no idea how to rank this in the top 20 so I invented a new “???” tier just for this single and any other bizarre picks that ended up in the top half of the charts... but I think I love this. There are 165 critically endangered species within Britain’s environment, as RSPB claims in their promotional website for the single, and that is 56% of the wildlife in decline. So they’re raising money a la Band Aid and/or Lil Dicky, for preservation of British wildlife, and trying to spread the word about this single, which eventually did get enough downloads and sales, as well as 58,000 streams to chart. Now, I hope this money is used well and that the birds who are sampled in this song are paid songwriting royalties because this is great. This is beautiful. Now it’s not like this has any specific structure, and I haven’t researched to see what species of birds are singing here, but this is pure serenity and almost works as ASMR wave sounds to fall asleep to. Sure, there are a bunch of reverb effects that make the woodpecker sound jarring, and some non-bird sounds that kind of sound like an artificial bass being added, as well as a synth but that may just be my complete lack of knowledge about birds in general. It’s all chopped up and it definitely is not pure recorded birdsong, which I’d be inclined to check out, but for what it is, the sounds here are quirky, fun and sound natural, and since it’s helping a cause, I’d say stream it. It’s not unpleasant and isn’t a 7-minute joke about small penises featuring Lil Yachty as a sexually-transmitted illness, so I’d argue it’s a better alternative to actual charity SONGS... so, yeah, stream this, it’s short, it’s calming, but I doubt this will stay longer than two weeks if that.

#3 – “ME!” – Taylor Swift featuring Panic! at the Disco

Produced by Joel Little and Taylor Swift – Peaked at #1 in Hungary, Nicaragua and Scotland

There’s a lot to hate about this new lead bubblegum pop single from Taylor Swift’s upcoming seventh studio album, featuring vocals from Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco fame. There really is a lot to hate, from the factory-settings production that feels like such an abrupt shift from the mechanical albeit jagged electronic production from the last album, Taylor’s aggravating inflections from her verse AND the pre-chorus, the nonsensical chorus which rips hard from “Sit Next to Me” by Emeli Sande, the marching band percussion that reminds me all too much of “Shake it Off” as well as Urie’s work on Panic!’s most recent album especially with the rattling hi-hats covered up by a blast of overproduced trumpets, and the cringeworthy bridge, where two grown adults in their early 30s starting their middle-eight with, “Hey, kids, spelling is fun!” – seriously, this was written only by the producers and the artists, how is it this unfitting and odd for Taylor to be singing? Surely, Taylor should be able to come naturally with great songwriting like she has before, even on reputation, and this shouldn’t be as awfully-written as it is. The “Spelling is fun” tangent doesn’t even fit the time signature, for God’s sake. Oh, and this trainwreck of a line:

Girl, there ain’t no “I” in “Team” / But you know, there is a “Me”

No, there isn’t. There isn’t a “Me” in “Team” unless you rearrange it, and in that case, it’d be misspelled, hence your bridge’s message, which is, as I recall, spelling is fun, is undercut by the fact you can’t spell. What does that even mean in this case, since it would otherwise be a cheesy lyric about how they’re a team or whatever, because it’s been rearranged and manipulated? Is there no “Me” in “Team” anymore? Are Taylor and Brendon breaking up in the middle of their spelling bee? Are they saying their relationship is as complicated and infuriating as this one lyric? Let’s see Taylor’s reasoning here:

“We wanted it to be playful, we didn’t want it to take itself seriously at all.” That, by the way, is why I love this song to death and despite everything I can nag about it, it’s actually really fun and one of Taylor’s best songs to date. It screams colour even without the expensive music video, and every little annoying misstep counts towards the hilarity of the song and how carefree it is, from Taylor’s “UHH” ad-libs to them both belting distant lyrics about how there’s a lot of lame guys out theeeeeere, it all comes together and makes a really cool song that doesn’t care about your judgement. Yes, I had a lot to say about that one, but I’ve been building it up for nearly two weeks now. You can’t spell awesome without “ME!”, I guess.

#1 – “Vossi Bop” – Stormzy

Produced by Chris Andoh

Speaking of awesome people, welcome back, Stormzy, one of my favourite British rappers and one of the most unique, with Gang Signs & Prayer holding up as one of my favourite hip-hop albums ever. Merky Academy’s founder has decided to strip it down a bit for this minimalistic return to form after a gospel-tinged and R&B-influenced debut studio album. This is “Vossi Bop”, and it bangs. We have that lo-fi yet menacing synth line looping in the back of the mix before the thumping bass kicks in with a catchy and eerie piano melody which really adds a lot of grit to Stormzy’s bars, mostly just about living life of luxury and celebrating his rags to riches story. While the 808s are admittedly mixed a tad oddly, as is the trap percussion, the rattling hi-hats give an otherwise pretty slow-paced rap flow some bounce and quick-paced energy. The multi-tracked hook is catchy and anthemic, although Stormzy’s refusal to dab is a bit more EB the Original Master than I would prefer, and I personally like the Mondegreen, “my brothers don’t die, we just Vossi bop” better, but the verses are pretty great. In this context, Vossi bopping means a laidback dance popularised by a guy named Vossi that went viral a few years ago – in fact, this song was made ages before its release. In the bluntly-delivered verses with some smooth flow switches, Stormzy discusses how he looks at his girl and thanks God. How wholesome. Also F Boris Johnson and he’s Chuck Norris? It’s not exactly the most poetic Stormzy’s been, but he does have multisyllabic rhyme schemes and his lyrics are at least coherent, which isn’t really what I can say for most UK rap that debuts on the charts nowadays. He also refers to jet lag as “f***ing up my body clock”, and we have a censored word that we don’t know yet, and have yet to have had any explanation for? We’ll see, I guess. Anyways, this is an absolute banger and I’m ecstatic Stormzy has a #1.

Conclusion

This was actually a cool week in retrospect. Best of the Week is going to The RSPB for “Let Nature Sing” because it’s two and a half minutes of birdsong in the top 20 and that’s impressive enough. The Honourable Mention is tied, going to both Stormzy for “Vossi Bop” and Taylor Swift with Brendon Urie for “ME!”, whilst Worst of the Week goes that Zara Larsson song. Blech. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!

I could never die, I’m Chuck Norris (Chuck Norris) / F*** the government and f*** Boris (Yeah)

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