#guys posting still makes me nervous
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is u lgb cus yo gunnn pinkk….
#zero day#zero day art#zero day cal#cal gabriel#cal gabriel art#guys posting still makes me nervous#posted this on twitter (@soryuism) a while back#i like drawing him all stupid like this#ive gen never been able to replicate this style again#hes literally me btw#they call me lesbian cal gabriel#calyapwithart
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I want. Four to get appreciation. Because
Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured
The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal
But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff
From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them
So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)
He took care of Epona
Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her
And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance
He took care of Twilight's stuff
He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place
And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.
Also- because of his placement in this scene
I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything
And he did housekeeping!
Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn
Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in
Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn
Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn
Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious
There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future
But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way
Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things
No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?
.
Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))
#epona is so important#Lu four#linkeduniverse#linked universe#I work with horses and#Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight#but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person#and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her#means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company#he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!!#uhhhh yeah!#with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered#then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything#I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters.#he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj#I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/#so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :))#(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong)#(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important)#:)
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I think of him……..
#handsomest man in the world#ramattra#overwatch#aka drawing#its still damn near impossible for me to draw him without referencing his model#THIS GUY IS SO HARD TO DRAW IT MAKES ME CRY#this is one attempt out of many where I actually like the way he looks dfjshklfsjerkmg#i want to be able to draw him regularly huhuhuh#also posting this made me nervous sfkdlfgf
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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angel Ɛ✦3
#hiiiii im posting my fursona here for the first time. very nervous#idk why. this is literally the Having A Fursona website#im just gonna. ramble about him for a sec bc hes my guy and hes very silly#his name is roadkill!! technically not but his actual name cant be comprehended by humans#he got that name because of how often he gets run over. he does it on purpose most of the time. he thinks its funny#hes a possum/angel/demon/eldritch horror/incubus/somehow part borzoi thing#and he can shapeshift#and he has a youtube channel where he murders people#hes very controversial. they make video essays about him. but still tons of ppl defend him#(dont ask me why his channel hasnt just been deleted)#but yeah!! he dies a bunch and kills people and tempts people to sin!#there is no like. actual story with him really. hes just a silly guy i draw a lot. dont question it#ok ill shut up now#furry#furry art#fursona#anthro art#furry fandom#furry oc#my art
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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@moookar i am playing dress up with ur ocs >:)
#oak trees are particularly adaptable according to a few very quick google searches#and also their leaves are fun to draw! so theres that#posting sketches still makes me very nervous i used to be a Finished Works Only type of guy#but i can get so much more art out this way. instead of like. 6 drawings a year#anyways me when characters who crumble under the weight of the pressure theyre given <3
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YOU 🫵
Have greatly boosted my confidence in posting about my gravity falls sona and oc. I love your work and art, it’s great. You make me want to create and publish my self indulgent work and please take this as a compliment because I mean it when I say you’re my inspiration.
also, is it ok if I use some of your ideas? Like posting about how my sona met bill, because it may be similar to yours. Are you comfortable with that?? I don’t want you to feel like I’m just copying your hard work. That wouldn’t be fair. I could tag you in posts? Sorry, I just don’t want to make you feel copied/uncomfortable.
but seriously, your art is great. And so is your sona and how you treat bill (kind of how my sona treats bill, but is arguably a lot more sarcastic) so please keep posting! You’ve helped build one confidence up and it’s meant a lot!
Have a great day, night, evening or morning, and may your art always shine;
~ 🎇 anon
anon this iS SO SWEET HNNNNNNG THANK YEW AHHHH 😭😭😭
i'M SORRY THIS TOOK ME A BIT TO RESPOND TO BUT THIS SERIOUSLY MADE MY DAY SO MUCH AHHHH ;A; THANK YOUUUUU YOU'RE SO SWEET
You can absolutely use some of my ideas!! I'm totally cool with that! : D You can tag me if you want (and I would also love to see your drawings with your sona!! 🥺)
#asks#anon#i got this the other day and i was just like asdhfodaish wAIT HOLD ON H OLD ON THIS IS TOO SWEET I'M GONNA CRY HNNNNNG#YOU GUYS SAYING NICE STUFF ABOUT MY BILLY AND SONA DRAWINGS MAKES ME SO HAPPY SO THANK YOUUUUUU#I'M STILL NERVOUS ABOUT POSTING SOME THINGS BUT I'M TRYING TO FIGHT OFF THAT ANXIETY LMAO
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I should really post Peppino's sisters at some point, they still don't have names like 9 months after I made them kjfdgjkdfg
I was keeping them secret for a reveal on Pep's blog, but I doubt we'll get there anytime soon, so why not! But also Scary!!!
I have so many PT OCs that I have not shown yet - and that are not clones - help khjfdjlkdsfg
#bean talks too much#or like not posted about much#there's just so many guys in my head I need them out!!!#for some reason I get nervous to post non-clone guys#maybe bc they're related to canon characters and people won't like them#and no one really asks about the non-clone guys any way#but all that's probably just the gremlin in my head making me sad#I do appreciate all the love on my silly guys clones or not#and I still love all the clones too of course - I would not have so many if I did not jkfgdkdf#I am in a weird mood bc there is an angel in here and it's freaking me out jkdfgkj
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Hi hello!!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently, I've just been dealing with some pretty bad depression
And uhhh! I am currently unable to afford meds rn so I'm just gonna...
points at my $5 headshot commissions again
and even link my cashapp. Only $3 extra for a tiny on your shoulder now for my commissions! No charge for having a big hand patting your head or something cause it's actually easier to add than a tiny for me lol
https://ko-fi.com/mocha_latte/commissions
https://cash.app/$Astakoi
So uh.. if any of you want anything/just want to help me out, yeah I'd appreciate it a bunch!
Gonna try to get back into posting more art :> and do a few artfight things before the month ends
#hate to promo commissions or even ask for anything but uh... i am not super good without my meds and will not be paid until august 5th#some irl issues (one being my health lmao) + needing gas has me very broke rn though#commissions#donations#self promo#g/t#giant/tiny#g/t community#<- i still love drawing g/t stuff!#ooo i should draw tiny honkai star rail stuff-#anyway please feel free to commission g/t stuff! idm throwing a hand in the headshot somewhere or something to show size difference#wont get into detail on irl stuff so i understand if you guys dont want to donate anything!! and if you cant commission reblogging helps#not forced though#i do hate guilt trips a lot so im not gonna do that shit#my situation isnt life or death... worst comes to worst ill just get my meds when paid!#oh also going through some gender crisis stuff lol#anyway lol sorry for the tag ramble these posts make me nervous
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I conducted a vote on which fic snippet to share, and you chose the shipfic I'm writing out of spite!
(Sooo, just for a little context: this is from a short fic set in the same setting as my main Medieval AU, but not in the same universe/continuity as my main Medieval AU. Kinda like what SW Legends is to canon, yknow?)
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“I’m the PRINCESSSSS!”
Ahsoka’s flailing arm nearly hit Rex in the face, but he dodged, and caught her around the middle, stopping her tipsy swaying. “Yes, Your Highness, we know.”
She threw an arm around his neck and squished her cheek against his pauldron. “I’m prettyyyyy.”
“If you insist, Princess.”
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
She swerved wildly, and he redirected her. “It would be unseemly for me to answer that, Princess.”
“Seemly. Seeeeeemly. Stupid Seemley Ress,” she said, slurring his name, then trying to correct herself. “Stupid Seemly Ress. Resss. Ressss! My tongue’sss not workin’, Ress!”
“So I hear.”
“I’m pretty. And I’m strong.”
“As everyone knows.”
“And I’m tall!”
“Acknowledged.”
“And I’m orange!”
“Correct.”
“AND I’m… I’mma walk on my own now!”
She shoved him away and took two wobbly steps forward before he had to catch her again.
“I can do it!” she whined. “I’m a lady. I’m twen’ny yearssss ol’. I can walk!”
She very clearly could not, so with a sigh, Rex bent over and lifted her completely, carrying her down the hallway. “All due respect, ladies do not get sloshed at formal dinners.”
“Isss no’ my fault,” she muttered. “Issstupid Korkie’s fault.”
“Right,” Rex said, ignoring her and the looks he was getting. Mostly sympathetic ones; everyone knew the Princess was trouble and was used to her getting into worse predicaments than this.
“Korkie says you liiiiike me,” she continued, singsongy. “He says you’re—you’re not sssaying an’thin ‘bout it cause of, uh. Uhhhhh. Clones! People don’t like you. Stupid people don’t. Good people do. Korkie says I like you.”
“That would be surprising, considering the amount of complaining you do whenever I’m around,” Rex deadpanned.
#korkie didn't even do anything poor guy#ahsoka's just throwing him under the bus like 'yep it is definitely korkie's fault that i got drunk.'#and rex doesn't buy it lol#soooo anyway. this is my very first foray into writing rexsoka and they're both firmly in the denial stage rn!#(I don't normally ship it due to the age gap but since they're only 3-4 years apart in this au and they met when she was 17 and not 14#I figured if i was gonna spitewrite a rexsoka fic then the medieval setting would be the one to do it in!)#fun fact! i had contemplated actually having them be a couple in the ACTUAL medieval au and even came up with a few fun scenes!#but i scrapped it in favor of a funnier idea#but that meant i had to scrap the scenes too#BUT by writing a fic in the same setting but not the same universe i can still write those scenes!#fic snippet#fic sneak peek#spite writing#ahsoka tano#captain rex#rexsoka#annnyyyywaaaaaay posting now before i overthink and doubt myself uwu#cause writing semi-controversial ships that i know some of my tumblr buddies might not like makes me nervous lol#but hey i'm just turning it into a game. i'm calling it 'will i lose followers for posting about this ship and how many will i lose'#star wars medieval au
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Majima Goro & Sagawa Tsukasa Characters: Majima Goro, Sagawa Tsukasa Additional Tags: Genderfluid Majima Goro, Mentioned Saejima Taiga, he's not here though, majima gets dress coded (devastating), Solitary Confinement, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, yeah this one's not pretty sorry guys, Homophobia, Mental Breakdown, thinking about sagawa's sparrow thinking about sagawa's sparrow thinking about sagawa's sparrow th, featuring an oc: majima's shitty unnamed landlord, Abuse, look i don't know how to classify it in particular but it's. Not Good. You Know How It Is With Them, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, in a very traditional sense like. the warnings are no joke, Hurt/Comfort, In The Worst Way Possible, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, ooh yeah forgot those tags exist. need those for sure, THE PLOT CAN ALSO BE DESCRIBED AS FIVE NIGHTS AT MAJIMA'S PLUS BONUS NIGHTS, also majima accidentally almost gives himself a gay earring situation, which. in hindsight is not explained well, basically around that time gay men used to wear an earring on their right ear, to signal that they were gay. majima's is on his left he's just scared, and sagawa is either messing with him or an old fart who doesn't know hip gay things, take your pick, Relationship Study, Canon-Typical Violence
Summary:
"Woaahh, hold up there, Tiger. What's going on here?" Sagawa said. "What?" Sagawa reached for his face. Majima tensed up as Sagawa's hand brushed the taut cord of his eyepatch. He couldn't tell what he was doing until his hot, sweaty fingers pinched his earlobe. "You pierce this yourself?" "Yeah." "God, it looks awful."
or, in short, majima gets dress coded and sent to gay baby jail
HEY I UH. I MADE A FIC IF YOU GUYS WANNA READ IT. NO PRESSURE OBVIOUSLY
#I MEAN YKNOW. IF YOU WANNA#anyway this has made me think about majima getting a job at claire's#me: oh i'll make fic someday because i love to write and also i love gay people. it'll probably be mushy romantic stuff though#I SHOULDA KNOWN. CHARACTER STUDY ASS (vine boom sfx)#anyway majima gets grounded for stepping out of line and doesn't fucking take it well for obvious reasons#featuring Thoughts about sagawa. i hate that guy but he's soooo interesting. fuck's sake#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#majima goro#sagawa tsukasa#tsukasa sagawa#listen i'm tagging him twice and majima only once because i know you sagawa fans will take anything alright. no one makes content for him#why'd i phrase that so mean. sorry lol#yakuza 0#god if people hate this or hate me for it or whatever i'll actually combust. i'm nervous#it'll probably do mediocrely and just become part of the soup of my content and that's okay. i just need to get over it because i've never#posted my writing online before. i've had it published in like. my high school litmag. but never online and NOT fan works so like. hoo scary#anyway if you like the way i write stuff here then maybe you'll like this. especially if you like my darker and/or more analytical content#which is less common than my goofs and gaffs but i still like it
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YOU might call it being cringe, But I am happy. So be it
#:p#me when i remember i have a blog for kin stuff. anyways kin mem posting in a bit . i feel silly about it sometimes.#like. oh god my friends who follow me here are going to think im cringe. but then again you guys follw me on main where i am basically#doing the same thing. it still makes me nervous sometimes though. i hate feeling like people are judging me#no one here has made me feel like that btw!!!#i am unfortunately a creature of paranoia
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ugh
#vent/rant ahead i just wanna say stuff:#forcing myself to draw for my friends and post content for my friends and keep Being Active just for other ppl is wearing me out#i WANT to continue to be a part of the community but. man this sucks fkjdhsg#it's entirely my fault. the situations i've put myself in that i dont wanna make public#(not just stuff related to art and content motivation but also Oops i Upset A Friend And Feel Horrible)#but it still sucks even if it is my fault#idk man im just running out of stuff to care about. everything is getting worse 🧍#i'm sure i'll be here every once in a while but will i ever post a full drawing again? great question#clips? very very rarely#actual content? not likely#i have like. one thing i wanna post about at christmas (i know one of my gifts already). besides that uhhhhhhhh i've got nothing#might have one drawing/sketch for december but that's very up in the air#if you know my priv and wanna request go ahead. im always active there and that wont change unless twitter explodes#even if you've requested before and aren't in it now you can request again. i'll try to be more lenient with it (again this is my fault)#i doubt i could ever make myself straight up abandon this blog. i'll continue to answer asks and ramble when i want to#but forcing myself to be a Content Provider sucks. it's not working. i'm still sad. he's still dead. my friends are leaving.#i'm not gonna have anyone left by this time next year it'll just be me and the void lmao#too nervous to follow anyone new. too nervous to talk the friends i already have. cant hold a conversation to save my life#this is why i have like... 3 friends here (i think we're friends). sorry i never talk to you guys it's just Difficult :/#and it's not getting any easier. not since june/july !#all goat knows is talk about skyblock (getting harder to do). post link to song. and make 50 more non-rebloggable posts#chat#come back later#(to delete probably idk)#now the real question: is this all related to [current issues causing mood swings] or is this something that's been building since june#we'll see i guess#i could be fine a month or so from now. or tomorrow. or all the way in the summer. who knows#*attaches a picture of techno to make this seem slightly less miserable* jkfhdkg#i hate there being like 2000 people here. nearly 3000 i think. idk#i want to talk and rant without feeling like im making the world's worst apology video KJFDHKG i dont like having so many eyes on me
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that one bookmark is gone and on one hand im glad i dont have to see it anymore but on the other hand im a little embarrassed at the thought of them having seen me have a whole mini spiral about it at like 5 am. like sorry random person ig
#speculation nation#i shouldnt be allowed to make posts in the middle of sleeping times#i wake up all the time while trying to sleep & then i check social media & also my ao3 stats page#usually this is fine but that bookmark note hit Just the right insecurity in me for me to make some pathetic posts about it on my tumblr#like yes i Am insecure about ppl not liking what im doing in the story lately & thinking im taking too long :') thank U for confirming#the reader support afterwards definitely helped me but Man i dont wanna b known as that author that cant take even a hint of criticism#i mean i kind of am but i dont wanna be KNOWN for it ykno#im cool as a cucumber. u can tell. Absolutely the coolest. thats why i go crying to my tumblr dot com when someone says smth that isnt#complete praise for my work.#like on one hand i dont gotta share this online. it's a privilege that u guys get to read it. so i dont wanna hear ppl disliking it#on the other hand i wish i wasnt that pathetically insecure lmfao#in my defense not having an active beta reader has been fucking with my self confidence re: writing#i was a nervous WRECK when posting the last chapter. and the other chapters too but last chapter especially.#life. is so difficult. alas.#sorry to my readers for my lack of object permanence re: ppl liking my shit.#ive had ppl repeatedly saying they love it and it's still not enough#in largest part bc im insecure about that Changing. so with every chapter im like peeking over like 'do you still like my writing...?'#'do u still like my writing pls respond'#honestly bless u readers who have kept up with discacc & continuously comment & offer me reassuring words here when im down#ur enthusiasm & kind words help me a lot. thank U
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Being genderweird in a relationship with another genderweird person born w different parts is weird because you're seen as a cishet couple by the rest of the world and also you really badly want to show your partner the Feral Wolf Eating A Lamb post but you're worried it'll freak them out even though the weird kinky poetic side of T4T is what really cranks your gears
#HAHAH GUYS HELP I WANNA GET VERY T4T WITH MY PARTNER BECAUSE THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL#AND I FINALLY GOT TO PEG THEM BUT IM SO NERVOUS I'LL GO OVERBOARD LMAO#i want to bask in our aberration and make it the monument of desire i want it so badly to be but im worried about making them dysphoric#i love being a cuntboy with a side of ??? and i want the world to change more rather than me have to change for the world to respect me#but idk if they feel that way considering theyre only very slowly coming out of that shell#gonna have a convo with them but itll still be a hot fucking minute before I talk about That Post#might boil the frog a little by talking about a t4t project I have more often
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