#guys it's a joke

[stinkyeggbow]

I apologize

[crazyspookies]

are you guys taking the "millenia old age elves go bald" joke ttly seriously? i thought you guys were running with the joke

[sofloodmelikeatlantic]

Me when im suffering while trying not to say "I'm just better than you" when my dad asks how the hell I beat Cazador at my low level while he's struggling w/ Ketheric Thorm at level 10

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

The worst trauma comes from those who you love

[spineless-lobster]

I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[adriles]

they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

[snaxle]

i am not calling twitter fucking x

[theartofmadeline]

pitched the concept of "fireman pinup calendar but make it knights" to my straight friend. she called it "very niche" and I just have to disagree

(ps im literally 10 seconds away from making a 2025 pinup knights calendar I guess??)

edit: I MADE THE CALENDAR

[foolsocracy]

this is actually so funny. imagining garth quipping and contributing to the conversation in his head cause he forgot the rest of the teen titans can't pick up on his telepathy

[coolxatu]

she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]

[dawnofiight]

So if you guys aren't from here I'm here to tell you I didn't mention you on purpose because I hate all of you and you made me eat dirt when I was 6.

Maybe get good idk

/j

Redacted fans either East Coast or British I'm ctfu

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Gregory and Glamrock Freddy’s dynamic in FNAF