#guys don’t make fun of my own photoshop this is why i ask for help

[makethemhoesmad]

2028 Olympic Roster

After some heavy speculation…2028 Olympians!

This team with, of course, the last 5 Rookie of the Year award winners, is overwhelmingly predicted to take home yet another gold medal

June, 2028

See more…

Will the Bueckers-Fudd connection be back?

So many ROTY award winners, yet Paige Bueckers is not among them

Hidalgo left off Olympic team?

[jasontoddswhitestreak]

sleepovers with peter (and ned)

summary: in which you have a sleepover with your dork of a best friend and your boyfriend peter.

content warning: peter parker x fem!reader, fluff, set after spider-man homecoming (friends to lovers, mutual pining)

note: this is from my old tumblr account adoringparker i decided to post it again but change some things up :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (let me know if you want to see more content like this <3)

masterlist

the entire thing being ned and yours idea because you've all been having so many exams recently and barely hung out after school due to revising and peter’s schedule.

peter being hesitant because he was worried that something bad could happen in new york and spider-man wouldn't be there to stop it

you reassuring him that the world can survive without spider-man for one day

oh man you were wrong

you three started the sleepover right after the school bells rang !!!

going to delmars to get sandwiches before you all went to peters place (forgetting the fact that there's only two beds in his room)

you and ned making fun of peter because has to state that the sandwich has to have pickles and be squashed real flat

“peter parker picked a pack of pickled peppers”

"why are you guys ATTACKING me.”

also getting slushies, peter trying to be creative and get red and blue to match the spider-man colours, ned getting red and you mixing cola and cherry to ‘make a cherry cola slushie’

“that is so disgusting y/n”

“shut up pickle breath”

going back to peters apartment and greeting may with a hug (she loves you <3)

“how's my favourite sweetheart doing?”

peter immediately cutting in like the dork he is

“i'm doing pretty good may!! how are you doing?”

teasing peter back

“she likes me more than you pete i’m her favourite”

eating ur sandwiches at the table while talking about what happened in school

“man today’s debate was so easy!”

you and ned throwing lettuce at peter in response “that’s because everything is easy for you smartass”

“did you hear that flash showed photoshopped pictures of him and spider-man during bio and said they went to a party together last night?” “that- i don’t even know how to respond to that..”

going back to peters room once ur done

ned wearing the spider-man top you jokingly bought for him to annoy peter for his pyjamas

“hey pete what'd you think abo-“ “WHY DO YOU OWN THAT”

peter walking in with his messy brown curls wearing his star wars shirt and grey pyjama bottoms but still being able to look fine as hell

peter forcing you to wear his sweater

“do you feel cold? you could wear my sweater- i mean if that’s what you want-”

you walking back into peters room after changing in the bathroom to be greeted with peters cutest smile ever

his eyes would be full of love he feels as though he fell in love all over again

he pulls you into him and hides his face in your neck while hugging you mumbling “you're so pretty in my sweater” ¥]!|¥\$]€{$]

having a star wars marathon and quoting the movies

“i have brought peace, freedom, justice and hot guys to my new empire-” “y/n that’s not the quote!!” “yeah but LOOK AT HIM?”

ned and peter reenacting the mustafar in front of you with rulers instead of light-sabers

“only a sith deals with absolutes, i will do what i must.” “you will try.”

ned winning the ‘light-saber’ duel

“god your such dorks” “and you love it”

ned falling asleep after the third movie bc it's already midnight

peter being antsy about not going on patrol tonight because he still feels like something wrong could be happening right this moment

you searching the latest news articles to see whether anything is happening to reassure him

“see everything is okay-” you get cut off by a bunch of sirens

worst. timing. ever.

him shooting out of his seat very quickly due to the spider reflexes, muttering a quick "i got to go" and kissing you on the forehead before putting on his suit and swinging out of the window

you worrying about peter bc he could be hurt

him coming back home at 4 am in the morning with cuts and bruises on his body

"so did spider-man stop the bad guys?" "he did"

tending to his wounds and scolding him for not being careful enough

him being so tired that he begins to say weird things as you continue to clean his cuts and bruises

"hey y/n, y/n y/n baby listen to me y/nnnn, angel, baby, pretty girl, you’re so pretty i love you”

him asking you to make him hot chocolate at 4am in the morning

resulting in the two of you sitting at the table drinking hot chocolate talking about life

"do you think we're going to stay friends after high school?" "of course we’ll stay friends!”

him talking about your future together not aware of the feelings it's giving you because although the smartest person ever, peter could be so clueless sometimes

"do you think we're going to have dogs or cats?" "w-what i-"

falling asleep on the living room couch with ur head on his chest and his arms around you tightly

waking up to the smell of May's choc-chip pancakes !!! (that ned mostly helped with)

wow i wished i had this

[actlikeyoudidntdoit]

ASSASSIN’S MODERN DAY PROFESSIONS

—————————————————

ALTAÏR

College Professor

-We all know that Altaïr has spent most of his life teaching, so what better job does he have than a college professor?

-He knows what he’s talking about, that much is certain, but sometimes he gets a little too lost in his lesson to realize that his students are scratching their heads. So it’s normal to have students staying after class, but they leave understanding every word of what he said.

-He’s not the fun teacher, but he’ll be able to teach you what you need and still remember it at the end of the day.

-He’s pretty lenient, and even with the obnoxious students who cause a scene, he calmly gets them to at least do their work.

-Other teachers always use him as a reference when it comes to the perfect teacher.

EZIO AUDITORE

-I can see Ezio being a public speaker since he’s not all that scared of crowds and spends a lot of time giving advice, so I think he’d really enjoy being able to help a crowd of people whose lives are falling apart

-Ezio would be the single anchor in a sea of storms because he always seems to have an answer for everything. He’s a man whose words are turned into inspirational quotes that people hang on their walls.

-When he says that things will be okay, no one doubts him since they know that he lost his father and his brothers very early on and that it took years for Ezio to accept the loss the way he had. If he could soldier through it, why couldn’t they?

-He doesn’t involve himself in politics, finding them to be a waste of time and breath despite how many people ask for his input on the political status of the country he’s staying in.

-He speaks to a lot of people in private, letting them speak their minds and giving his advice if they want it. He’s a therapist without a license, and you always feel hopeful about life leaving his office.

Connor

Construction or Sports

-This boy was designed for heavy work, and I’ve heard some good points in saying that not only would he be amazing at sports, but he’d also really enjoy it too.

-In my personal headcanon, I think he’d be a good construction worker as well. Not the high end kind that build skyscrapers or anything, but I can see him building simple houses for small communities, taking the lower jobs that can’t afford much help like the sweetheart he is. He definitely volunteers to make houses for the homeless.

-Since most of the homeless he helps don’t have much money, he makes sure to offer them baked goods because he’s definitely a baker.

Edward Kenway

-As a young man, he joins the navy

-Once he’s on his own, he buys his own boat and treats it like royalty.

-He’s not a pirate himself, but he does let less legal people on board for a price. At the time, it was just an easy cash pay since people paid good money when they were desperate.

-When he’s older and gets a grip on some of the people he’s helping (like the REALLY bad criminals) he quickly lets it go.

-Yet after seeing some of the more decent people and the places they were running from, I can see him being a sort of smuggler, but instead of smuggling drugs or weapons, he sells medicines, canned foods, and clothes to the regions where they’re scarce or hard to pay for.

-When he’s older and found a fortune over time, he starts up his own official charity, hiring various sailers to sail supplies to more places than he himself could alone.

SHAY CORMAC

-Okay, I have to say it. Shay would DEFINITELY be an FBI spy. Maybe I haven’t thought of it as heavily as I could, but he just strikes me as a man who could kill someone in plain sight and still not be seen.

-He already knows everything he can about infiltrating and getting vital information

-He knows exactly how to manipulate people to get what he wants.

-He’s like Macgyver but as an agent.

-He does things that make sleeping at night impossible, but he tells himself that every long night for him is another person somewhere else having a peaceful night, and peaceful nights means he’s doing his job. Right?

-Constantly questions his morals, but he can’t bring himself to stop, not knowing that he’d do if he stopped, because at least here he’s doing something. He’s contributing.

-That and maybe I might or might not want to see Shay in a suit 🤷‍♀️

AVELINE

-Actress. And a damn good one. She’s one of the kind of people who get paid millions each job and gives most of her cash on people who really need it. Not only that, she’s a fan favorite everywhere.

-She takes extra jobs in smaller businesses barely staying afloat, and public morality boosts has nothing to do with it. In fact, she keeps her fame life out of everything, choosing to see it just as another job.

-I can see her sharing similarities of Zendaya or Zoe Zaldana

ARNO DORIAN

-High school teacher or actor, I can’t decide.

-Because let’s be honest, this guys brain is more wrinkled than a raisin. He knows his stuff.

-He’s good at simplifying what he’s saying, and that happens to be a very useful trait when it comes to teaching.

-If he was a teacher, he’d be a damn good one, that’s for sure. No one will fail his class because he’s so good at explaining things, and he’d be the one who actually cares for his students.

-When it comes to acting... just admit that Arno’s a theater boy through and through. If you need proof, he’s the only one with a crazy amount of fancy robes and colors. FOR GODS SAKE HE OWNS A THEATER! So on modern day, I could totally see him as an actor as well.

-He’d be the Ewan Mcgregor of the modern day, because everyone recognizes him from SOMEWHERE because he’s really tested his acting ability on multiple various roles. Well read, charming, and level headed, he’d totally rock being an actor. He’s good friends with Aveline, and when they both have time in their busy schedules, they stop by for coffee and fill each other in on their life.

JACOB

-Boxing

-I saw the photoshops of Jacob in boxer life, and I have not been the same because oh my god that is amazing.

-but absolutely he’d be a boxer. He’s the shortest guy in the entire match, but he doesn’t need a stool to knock you on your ass before you can laugh about it.

-His opponents are lucky shattering bones is against the rules because he knows how to make someone wish their dad wore a condom.

-A lot of people think that his rounds must be rigged, and his sister had to physically hold him back every time Jacob threatened to give him a close up of how ‘rigged’ his fights were.

-Jacobs a powder keg, so it doesn’t take much to make him explode, and a lot of the less respectful people he has to fight picks particularly sore spots to do just that.

-He might be pissed, but his punch isn’t the only thing that stings. He knows exactly what words to use, and when they’ve gone too far, he doesn’t hold back.

-Might have a temper, but he has a good heart despite it all. He visits schools and completely turns his personality around with kids. He signs autographs, takes pictures, and makes sure that every one of them have a fun day because he knows that there’s some kids in this school that don’t have those kinds of days. He pays the school for field days each time, making sure they all get out. They bring out the scooters, parachutes, capture the flag, and ‘wrestling’ matches for the kids who want to face him. He loses every time. He never has a bigger smile on his face than when he has children fans walk up to him.

EVIE

-She is totally a lawyer and you can’t change my mind.

-Logic and Facts are her strongest weapons, and so far she has yet to lose a debate.

-Every other lawyer knows that seeing Evie walk into court is an instant death sentence, because like her brother, her words are sharp as a knife and her mind is even sharper.

-If they didn’t look identical, no one would believe that she would be related with Jacob the hot headed boxer, because she was level as water and was near impossible to make angry, but god help the poor sod that presses her.

-Her clients almost always get the best case scenario with Evie by their side by how good she is.

-Also like her brother, children are her weak spot, and her hard composure melts whenever she needs to speak to a child in the witness post, making sure that the child feel comfortable unlike the others that drill the kid with questions when they’re too skittish to answer. She takes her time and gets the kid feeling safe, and gently asks their side.

-Evie might not do it as a profession, but Evie has beaten Jacob in the boxing ring in the gym. She knows damn well how to handle herself, knowing she’d need it since she’d be fighting corrupt politicians or gang members who have too often tried attempts at her life. Every time she emerged unscathed, using the attempt at even more evidence against them and insuring a spot in jail. No one dared try attacking her again after that.

BAYEK

-I’m thinking police officer or motivational speaker for trauma.

-Either way, he’s a guardian who takes care of the people he’s in charge of. He knows words well, and having been down the dark path himself, he knows exactly what people experience and what they want to hear.

-Be the change you want to see in the world, and that’s exactly what he’s doing.

-He’d be a well respected officer, and he’s not afraid of telling off a comrade if someone is wrongfully accused. He’s not very popular in the police station, but as long as he’s doing his job, he’s satisfied.

-He’s saved several people over the course in his life, and his word is well honored since he’s on no ones side. He sees things as what they are and doesn’t twist events he disagreed with to his point of view. Even if it hurts him personally, he doesn’t lie.

-He’s divorced, but they’re still best friends with each other and visit when they can.

AYA (ran out of gifs. Sorry)

-She is hands down a self defense teacher for women

-She sells hidden self defense tools for less than ten dollars, always sure to keep constantly supply of them since many have confessed that they’ve saved them from dangerous situations.

-Like her former husband, she’s a protector and makes sure she provides her students with the best.

-She teaches children what to do if they ever get grabbed, and she’s had many parents in years thanking her when that information ended up saving their child’s life.

ALEXIOS

-Hands down he is a stunt double

- Preferably Arno’s since he relies more on flexibility than brute strength. Then there’s the fact that they look similar enough in features

-He does the moves that would probably be safer if they were just CGI, but he hates those computers with a passion, preferring to do the real thing instead of giving out something fake. He’s broken more bones than he can count, and the companies he works with always have a medic on standby when something goes wrong.

-They tried convincing him that they only needed him for a few spots, but after realizing that he wanted this (and him assuring them that he doesn’t bother with suing), they let him do his thing. The results are fruitful since the most nitpicky movie fans are absolutely thrilled when there’s a particular move done right.

-He teaches Arno a good few things about how to do action scenes, and they’re definitely good friends.

KASSANDRA

-Roller Derby

-She lives for throwing people and smacking them without being judged for it, so the Derby’s her safe spot.

-Everyone on the opposing team is terrified of her, always scared when they see her devilish smile, knowing that they’re about to get their asses handed to them. Like her brother, she’s an adrenaline junky, and when she’s not doing the derby, she’s going off into car races in a water trench. She’s surprisingly very good with cars too, knowing the inside and out of a car like the back of her hand.

-She loves it when men try to catcall her. It gives her a perfect opportunity to punch them in the face.

-She loves the races themselves because no one expects it. Sometimes she pretends to act like a beginner and absolutely slaughter them, giving them a nice wink before driving out with her cash.

-Only has a soft spot for the girl who visits her on weekends. She’s practically her older sister, and there will be hell to pay if her favorite kid gets hurt in any way.

EIVOR

-BACA(Bikers Against Child Abuse)

-The moment I saw this, I instantly thought about them.

-they would absolutely be a part of this

-Looking all badass in leather while turning into a softie for children? That’s Eivors entire character right there.

-Eivors not afraid to get physical with an abuser. They’d beat the abuser to a pulp and right after take the child out for ice cream.

-No one messes with Eivor, knowing that their lenience was stretched only for children. Anyone else tried to pressure her? Your teeth would be shattered and they’d wear the bits for a necklace.

-Children are much more brave around them because they’re tougher than their parent and on their side, so they’re not afraid to give them to the police

[unfinishedsweetsimphony]

celebration

[requested by anon ‘m’]

~Tommyinnit x Reader (Gender Neutral) x Tubbo ~ !PLATONIC!

Summary: They were the ultimate trio, the Three Musketeers (as they were fondly nicknamed) consisted of Tommy, Tubbo and (Y/N). Soon Tubbo and (Y/N)’s birthday was coming up, so Tommy came up with the brilliant idea of throwing a joint Minecraft birthday party. After which, fun and hilarity ensues.

Genre: Fluffy friendship with friends being pals.

Pronouns: They/them (Gender neutral)

Warnings: Cursing and a bunch of capitalized words to add v o l u m e. I mean c’mon. Tommyinnit is in this story.

[a/n: wOHOO!! Another request :DD I really like this prompt idea since it’s been a while since I’ve written a friendship fic. This is loosely based on what I could remember from Tubbo’s birthday live with my own twist on things. This is also more of a reader insert than an x reader]

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUBBO!!”, (Y/N) practically yelled into the mic. Looking at the facecam, Tubbo frantically throws off his headphones and lets out a scream. When he calmed down from his fright, he puts his headphones back on and scooches his chair back into place. “THANK YOU (Y/N)!!”, he yelled back in matching fervor, “HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO!” (Y/N) flinches and pulls their mic even closer for maximum earrape, “THANKS TUBBSTER!” “WHY ARE WE YELLING?!”, screamed Tommy; making himself known. “I DON’T KNOW WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!”, Tubbo’s voice is starting to get hoarse. “I dunno I just wanted to feel included.”, Tommy’s sudden shift in tone caused (Y/N) to burst into laughter. 

They take a moment to greet their respective streams. “So Tommy, you have gathered us here on the magnificent Dream SMP. What’s on the agenda for today?”, (Y/N) says in their best posh accent. “Well that was terrible, but anyway”, Tommy moves his Minecraft player while he speaks, “Today, we are going to be celebrating the BIRTH of my two best friends. So, come on, follow me. We got lots to do.” Tubbo happily follows Tommy while (Y/N) whoops in excitement and quickly checks chat, “No chat, this isn’t canon...I think.”

The first thing they did was make a TNT canon by the shore, which took some time. However with Fundy and Sam’s help, they were able to finally get it work. “HOLY SHIT!”, Tommy exclaims as his character gets absolutely launched into the air. Tubbo gleefully chimes as he sets the device up for another launch, “It really goes get you flying doesn’t it?” (Y/N) lets out a ‘Weee~’ as they land into the water, “I know that this is literally virtual, but this is actually kinda fun.”

When they were done, Tommy says that it’s time to move on to the next activity. “C’mon (Y/N), Tommy is gonna go on without us!”, Tubbo urged as (Y/N) launches themselves with a cow on a lead for the fifth time...only for it to die upon impact for the fifth time. “Goddamit, it keeps hitting the shore!”, (Y/N) finally calls it quits and they both sprint to catch up with Tommy.

Tommy leads them to a trapdoor that leads them to an underground railway. They grab their minecarts and head off. Along the way, the halls are decorated with funny edits and memes of Tubbo and (Y/N). “Oh god (Y/N)innit is so cursed.”, Tubbo laughed at the huge picture of a blonde (Y/N) in Tommy’s iconic shirt while (Y/N) snickers and plays Paralyzer by Finger Eleven to match the image. “Oh my god I almost forgot about that one.”, Tommy points out a picture of Tubbo photoshopped as a snail. “EY ITS TURBO!!”, (Y/N) realizes and absolutely loses it.

Farther down the long mine cart ride are normal photos of times where the trio meet up causing the three to calm down and reminisce those memories. The chat absolutely melts at the soft atmosphere filling up the comments with ‘Aww’s and hearts. The occasional copy pasta ruining the mood.

Upon reaching their destination, they all hop out of their carts and meet a dark oak door. “Okay, I want you guys to close you eyes.”, Tommy’s character steps in front of them. “In real life?”, (Y/N) asked. “How are we going to see?”,Tubbo questioned the obvious. “Yes, just put your finger on the forward key and I’ll guide you. Now, no peeking alright?”, Tommy crouched as the two gave confirmation that their eyes are closed. Tommy opens the door and quickly goes in first to check if the surprise is ready. He quickly types in chat to join the voice chat they were in, “Okay, go forward and I’ll tell you when to stop.” Miraculously, there were no mishaps in getting them through the door. Their characters walked until they reached a wall of the dark room. “Stop!”, Tommy instructed, “Wait (Y/N) you can go forward a little more.” (Y/N) complied until Tommy told them to stop again. 

“Alright you can open your eyes.”, Tommy flipped a lever causing the lights to turn on.

A chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’s rang in Tubbo and (Y/N) ‘s ears as they looked around, mouths agape. “Oh my god, this is awesome!”, Tubbo’s character jumps around happily while his head spins around. (Y/N) bursts out laughing at the banner saying “Happy ‘Coming out of your mother’ Day” to the point of wheezing their lungs out. “Thank you for noticing my banner (Y/N).”, Big Q notices before turning to a disappointed BadBoyHalo, “I told you they would like it.”

The rest of the day was spent enjoying Minecraft cake, passing presents virtually even some just gifting subs and donations. It was a fun party with friends...until Technoblade joined the game.

[itoshisae]

A bit late (I apologise 😢) but tagged by the lovely Sonia ❤️ @kurozero and cutest Lisette ❤️ @itadorii-yuuji ; thank you both for thinking of me ❤️❤️❤️

Tag game #1

Rules: make a playlist shuffle with 10 tracks.

(This is all over the place)

1. Bryan Ferry "Is your love strong enough"

2. John Mayer "Shot in the dark"

3. Hyolyn & Dasom "Summer or summer"

4. BiSH "Be ready"

5. Hyde "On my own"

6. SNSD "Chocolate love"

7. Clinton Shorter "A right to decide" (The Expanse S4 Soundtrack)

8. Taeyeon "Wine"

9. Moshimo "Aoi Cider"

10. Rayelle "Something that I like"

Tag game #2

LINK

Tag game #3

This gets long so I'll add a read more :3

Why did you choose your url? From Jolyne Kujo from JJBA! Very excited about the upcoming new season *3*

Any side blogs? I have a non-anime blog @theresagray and a sideblog from that account with kpop and asian (mostly Chinese, Japanese and Korean) dramas @taesyeonkim (I am really into Hospital Playlist these days, everyone should watch it!! So good and heartwarming and all the feels!!)

How long have you been on tumblr? 2009; they should pay me for staying at this point!!

Do you have a queue tag? Just q. when I remember to add it. I’m terrible at it, I just added it again to posts recently.

Why did you start your blog in the first place? One of my besties introduced me to Tumblr and I’ve been hooked since!! I made this anime blog specifically because I wanted an anime only dash, with no drama. (I was in some hardcore fandoms back in the day and oh boy) Anyway, this anime blog and the dash with the people and blogs I follow are peaceful and lovely and just overall great!

Why did you choose your icon? I just really like this guy? I’m shallow. Very shallow.

Why did you choose your header? N/A

What’s your post with the most notes? From my better days when I had Photoshop, this one still haunts me haha. I think aside from this viral one, my others with most notes are around 7k+. Sometimes they’re still being reblogged after all these years though?? I’m very emotional when it happens ;A;

How many followers do you have? 1642. I’m very grateful for everyone who stuck with me after being semi-absent for so long and having stopped making gifs! ❤️

How many people do you follow? 419. Been on a following spree for the past weeks! Still ongoing!

Have you ever made a shitpost? A lot of times; especially on my non-anime blog, particularly during Eurovision.

How often do you use Tumblr? I’m now doing my best to check in every day or every other day, even if I’m not active and don’t reblog. This anime dash brings me joy :’)

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? Yes, but for the love of me I can’t remember. It was something very stupid, that’s for sure.

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this post”? Not my thing; I don’t like the feeling of guilt some of these posts bring out, and the emotional blackmail. Ultimately, Tumblr is a fandom-centred blogging platform, which is for fun. But if it’s regarding a truly serious issue and if anyone is in a bad situation, I do reblog it if I believe it can help.

Do you like tag games? Do you like ask games? Yes to both!

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? Everyone is a superstar to me ❤️

Do you have a crush on a mutual? ❤️ you’re all gems

Tagging for whichever of the three games you like! @osamusmiya ❤️ @space--cowboys ❤️ @ozvasselius ❤️ @nxmikaze ❤️ @kyojuuros ❤️ @upperrankthree ❤️ (No pressure, only if you want/have time!)

[marksinn]

Passion Project: Inspiration

I don’t think I’m starting at the beginning with this post. Keep your eyes peeled for later posts that explain what I’m doing and why.

After a month of thinking about, sketching and painting designs, I have finally done something. Essentially, recently watching two films has pushed me into action, and a part of me is ashamed to admit it. There isn’t a word count or any typesetting to curtail my thoughts here, so strap in.

When I created this brief I figured I’d draw a million wee skateboards, colour a few of them in, then fling my favourites into Adobe illustrator and make them look good. From there I would take the 5 best up to the skatepark and ask some of the patrons there which designs stood out to them. Next, I would adapt the three front-runners and create sweet PhotoShop mockups that would show what my designs would look like as skateboards. If I had the time, inclination or money by the end of the project, I would have the design laid onto a real skateboard (I’ve been looking to buy a new one for some time) and then be proud of myself.

So I’ve drawn some wee skateboards. Then I started upscaling the designs onto the floorboards of my loft:

This was an exercise to let me see how small things need to be adapted to be blown up. Skateboards can have any level of detail that you like on them, I hadn’t considered this until I was trying to draw a semi-perfect triangle for the traffic cone, or until I was using chalk to recreate four cubes. It’s also been fun to work with different media on chipboard - I have learned that most kinds of pencil, paint, chalk and charcoal do not like being used on chipboard. Decorating paint, however, has no such issues. Thanks, Dulux!

And so, with a few of these under my belt, I decided to try some digital designs. So I jumped into Illustrator and totally ignored my sketchbook, coming up with three designs that were all inspired by the day I had just had. The top design, I’ll focus on last, for reasons that will become apparent (unless you follow me on Instagram, where you’ll already know that it’s an absolute hit, with over 19 likes already!). I was told by a guy at the skatepark that he likes decks with very basic designs, just a colour or two, nothing overly detailed. Another skater told me that he often likes the basic wood background with one small emblem or sticker just beside the wheels.

The duo-tone design felt nice, I’m usually one for over-complicating things. I definitely have an attitude of “If there’s more in it, there’s a greater chance someone will find something they like”. The first colour choice put my girlfriend in the mind of a hand-bag she had seen photographed in the arms of Carrie Fisher - it was designed to look like a Prozac pill. So I changed the colours up, and added the separating black lines and textures to give it some subtle character. I then went full meta with the Minimal design. And, if I’m being honest, I’m incredibly happy with how it looks like a wee character. Expect to see that making a comeback in the very near future. But the top design is what really got me going. 

I’ve recently been watching...

...Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and have been loving Miles Morales’ multiple hobbies of graffiti, mixing beats and saving his neighbourhood from a variety of dangers. 

I then went to the cinema to see In The Heights, telling the tale of the Latin community during a blackout in North Manhattan. I found myself wrapped up in the romance, tribulations and music of the cast, and was felt oddly proud of Lin Manuel Miranda - who wrote this as a stage-musical while he was in college, had a modicum of success with it, then went on to create Hamilton, one of the most important musicals of our time. With the success of that particular show taking the entire world by storm, he was given the opportunity to make his old, relatively only semi-popular play into a blockbuster film. You can’t help but be inspired by someone like that.

I often find towards the end of a film I’m inspired by the characters’ journeys: be that from zero to hero, from lonely to loved or from rags to riches. Then I walk out and carry on with my normal life doing normal things. And as the hero of the story’s dreams all came true in the closing minutes (sorry for the spoiler, but it’s a musical, they rarely end in despair), a thought floated across my mind:

I’m utterly sick of being inspired

Now, to my credit, I did figure out in the car home that ‘tired’ would be a far more fitting and rhythmic word to use in this sentence, but this was a mentality that I found resonated really strongly with me. I’m very good at being inspired, I think most people are. We hear stories of people starting their own business, achieving some sporting brilliance or overcoming a personal hurdle and we say “Wow, isn’t that inspiring?” or

“It really inspires you to go out and make a difference!” or

“They are such an inspirational speaker!”

Then we go off about our day, not acting on the inspiration, and, for the most part, remaining uninspired. So I decided to act. 

I did some very quick research (/acquiring of images of graffiti) in order to get the right shapes and textures to create a spray paint effect in Illustrator. I did some very quick research (/confirming the colours) of South American flags, taking the blue and red used in flags of the home nations of Miles Morales from Spider-Man and Usnavi from In The Heights. And I created the top design.

YES! I had been inspired and I had drawn a wee picture to show that - I had acted on my inspirations!

Then I looked to my left and spotted three, blank skate decks that I had bought on a whim from Re:Ply (a wonderful wee company who do a great deal of charity work supplying boards to people who need them, selling boards to people who can afford them, and for a very reasonable fee, providing unusable decks to people who want to use them for artistic purposes). I realised I hadn’t acted on my inspiration, I had just drawn a few pictures of skateboards with the eventual aim of PhotoShopping them onto other pictures of skateboards.

So I took myself...

... into the city centre with a shoddily prepared speech: “I’m looking for some cheap, small cans of spray paint. I’ve no idea what I’m doing, or if I’ll be good at it, so don’t want to invest too much into this.” Hiding behind this self-deprecating shield I barged into multiple art-, pound- and model-shops and pleaded with the staff to help a young idiot out. Amazingly, a very kind shop assistant pointed me in the direction of Fat Buddha, a clothes shop I’d always ignored as it seemed a bit to “...” for me. I don’t know what it seemed, but I knew it wasn't my kind of shop. Happy to prove me wrong, the guys in there were super helpful and they helped me buy my first cans of spray paint. 

Now I’d spent money...

... and as a skinflint, that meant I had to get use out of my purchases. I had tricked myself into being inspired. Inspiration led me to the drawing, inspiration had led me to buy decks and the paint, now inspiration had to make me spray paint.

I’ll stop yammering on now. Essentially, I had planned on creating some analogue designs then digitising them (I’m guessing I should do a post on my brief, yeah? Might just upload the PDF to save me talking more), but then I found that I was doing the complete opposite. Genuinely accidentally. I had played with a few typefaces from various websites to get fonts that represented the ideas I wanted. The top one was semi-stolen (I can’t use the word ‘inspired’ any more in this post) from the end credits of In The Heights. The larger font is something of a nod to inspirational quotes you see on Facebook or on glittery frames in B&M.

I printed those out and cut them into stencils (very impressed that my digital boards have been drawn to a workable scale, thanks Maths). And after putting down a tack-layer (GRAFFITI JARGON (I think)) I sprayed the whole lot in blue.

Next, I tried to get a little fancy. Using cardboard blockers to create straight lines I added stars* (borrowed from the Puerto Rican flag) and made the bottom stripes vaguely reminiscent of America’s Old Glory.

I peeled the lettering off, and I’d done it. I may have to explain the overtly-negative inspirational quote to people, but to me it’s a clear sign that there’s no point in just being inspired, and that’s all I wanted.

A weight I didn’t know I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders. The plan was to possibly end up with a self-designed skateboard. And now I have one.

*Yes, I know they’re crosses.

[maxbernini]

sekou and zoe :0? for 3 headcanons

tysm anon 💕 sorry this is so long i’m on mobile & can’t do a read more

zoe m (assuming it’s her and not wtf’s zoe lol):

- zoe is THE postergirl for “pretending you’re famous in the shower and being interviewed”, which is cool, we all do it, except zoe doesn’t limit herself to the shower, nor is she silent. many times ava has come home to find zoe in the kitchen telling an invisible oprah a highly exaggerated version of her life: something about kieu my once being SO lovesick zoe thought she had a fever and had to carry her to the hospital, bridal-style, and also there were zombies. it’s an easy way to make nora laugh too, but on her worst days, zoe will hold her and when she’s calm, give an “off the record interview” where she details why she loves her sister, the strongest person she knows

- she writes fan-fiction. it used to be self-insert type stuff, you know, “my mom sold me to one direction” and the like, but actually...really really good? she had a solid wattpad fan-base for a reason. nora used to make her story covers on photoshop. she sticks to ao3 now, posting devastatingly gorgeous 30k pieces once every six months or so that garner their own mini fandoms. i’m not going to say what medias she’s writing for, but i’m not ruling out a certain cursed never-ending CW show, nor something completely different and wild like....RPF about the buzzfeed unsolved guys or whatever. or maybe less famous, very niche buzzfeed people which makes it better/worse (she gets her own ‘10 Lines In This Fanfic About Our Employees That Will Make You Cry Into A Pillow And Demand We Start A Union’ article)

- when the instas went on their social media detox / camping retreat / whatever the fuck it was, zoe enjoyed herself more than she thought she would. they were there to help constantin, yes, but it was healing for her, too. she, kieu my, and finn shared a tent, and on the last night, she stayed awake far longer than she should’ve, listening to their breathing, listening to the trees. if she concentrated hard enough, she could make everything fade away until she felt, for a strange, single moment, that she was the only person in the entire world. it was honestly comforting, all that peace and quiet and numbness, and yet, when asked about her exhaustion the next day, she says she stayed up on guard to protect them from any bears or serial killers; ismail immediately pretends to stab finn (“i was the killer all along!”), and amidst all the ensuing dramatic chaos, zoe thinks: i am very glad to not be alone. i am very glad to be alive.

sékou:

- with an older brother and two older sisters, sékou’s the ‘baby’ of the family but they don’t baby or other him at all. they’re all close, despite the miles between them: his parents came with him to canada, though his dad, a doctor (and his son’s biggest defender, especially when it came to getting diagnosed within an ableist, racist healthcare system) had to stay in paris a little longer to sort out work stuff with the pandemic, meaning he and his mom spent the first few months alone - “but not lonely!” she says every morning over breakfast; she doesn’t mind cooking it because she loves him and he helps with dinner anyways, as that’s how he unwinds after school. dealing with numbers in recipes helps him stay sharp whilst allowing him to relax and have fun

- other unwinding techniques include IT-related commissions, video editing, art history, philosophy, and, of course, urbex. since it’s canon that la mif are too depressed to urbex now that he’s gone, i’ll say it’s the opposite for him. he does urbex in canada, and it’s nice to finally be with people who follow maps and put safety first and are rather clinical - though not necessarily boring - about their approach. he becomes the president of his uni’s urbex club, the quickest anyone’s ever risen through the ranks. still, sometimes down in those tunnels it’s dark enough that it’s easy to pretend he’s back in paris, the indecipherable shapes around him his old friends. he tags their initials on a wall, and never tells them, his own little secret

- determined to not fall out of touch to an irreparable degree though, sékou sends la mif letters/packages, often very personalized: it starts with, like, memes for jo, film recs for max, political articles for maya, positive affirmations for lola etc, before becoming an international small gifts exchange because everyone involved is extra. noticing two new guys on the group insta, sekou thinks it’d be rude to exclude them, figuring there’s no harm in sending a tiny boxing glove keychain he saw at the store the other day, or some sewing tips his eldest sister, a fashion designer, passes along. bc skamfr is often an unintentional comedy (eg: the car), everybody in la mif assumes they’re the only one getting sent stuff bc nobody talks about it out of guilt (“what if he’s not sending them things...”). so it’s quite a shock when sékou flies back home for summer and he and redouane are like, immediately going in for a hug, the first to do so, and bilal presents sékou with a homemade bowtie. max is very pouty about it but max is pouty about most things so jo elbows him in the ribs and they all hash it out at maya’s that night; sékou takes one look at the place and thinks: i’m glad your taste in decor is better than your wardrobe, and then thinks: i’m not sure where i want to live, there are so many things i want to do and discover and become, but there’s no where else i’d rather call home right now (is he talking about the city or his friends?? you decide!)

give me a character and i’ll tell you three pieces of headcanon i have about them! 

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

It Wasn’t in the Contract: One

Bucky stood in front of the window and looked down at the street below. It was another busy city morning. People milled about on the side walk. Cars jammed the street. And it was his. 

He had the city in his pocket. He owned Judges, Lawyers, Cops, Journalists... Nothing could touch his operation. After almost a decade of building his team. Building his empire. He was making money hand over fist. More than he could ever spend in a life time. 

But what he needed right now, he couldn’t buy.

He needed a wedding date.

And not just any date. He needed you. 

Because somehow, in the last decade, he’d neglected to tell his ma, and his sisters that you’d left. That he’d let his ambition get in the way. And that when he’d hurt you, left you cold and lonely one too many times, you’d gone. Set yourself up in Paris. And now, he knew he was in too deep. He couldn’t back pedal now. He had to get you to come with him. Or he’d never live it down.

His Ma, he knew had an inkling. Hell. By now she probably knew. And knew everything. But he’d be damned if he was gonna sit through any lectures the week of Becca’s wedding. He just. He wanted the week to be nice. And if he was honest... After 9 years apart, after watching your career flourish at a distance. After watching you do everything you set out to do... He wanted to see you. Tell you he missed you. 

Because after 9 years, the problem with everyone he ever dated was simple. They. Weren’t. You. When they looked up at him in the afterglow, snuggling into his chest, it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like home. And god. Did he want to go home. Even if it was just to say ‘hello’.

_________

The flight to Paris had been long. But, at least first class had come with Wi-fi. And alcohol. It had made it so that, at the very least, he’d managed to sleep a little. So by the time he was in his hotel and had his bag unpack he was... Well frankly he was getting nervous. 

He knew that it was probably bullshit. The feeling in his chest that told him, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were somewhere in the city. That if he looked out over his /balcony you’d be right there. Waiting for him. Looking for him too. 

And he laughed at himself a little. If you heard him  say it out loud, you would probably have laughed at him too. You were never the romantic type. Not really. You were too practical and grounded for that. Romantic movies bored you to tears. Sappy, sentimental family movies were even worse. “Life isn’t like the movies.”

You’d told him that once during an argument. Right before the break up. When all you’d done was argue. Bucky had told you he wanted a baby. You’d told him that you wanted to finish school. That you wanted to get designs onto shelves. That you wouldn’t have time to take care of a baby AND start your shop. Bucky had said that he’d help you. And even when it first came out he knew it was a lie. He was trying to keep himself and his crew out of jail and make enough money to pay off his dad’s debts. He didn’t have time for a baby either. But it sounded good. And if it had been a movie you would have melted into his arms. It would have been fine. 

But it hadn’t been. No matter how much he wanted it to be. Because he hadn’t wanted to work. He hadn’t wanted to try and be the man you needed him to be. He’d been a dumb kid. A kid with a dream, sure. But a dumb kid none the less. And as he stood in front of your door, a bouquet of white roses in his hand, he couldn’t breathe. 

He knew there was a little gray at his temples. And in his bead when he didn’t stay clean shaven. And that maybe was wasn’t quite as trim as he’d been. But you? He’d seen pictures of you in articles. Even with all the photo magic photoshop shit, you still looked incredible. Maybe a little softer somehow. And the last of the puppy fat that had clung on to you for so long had finally melted away into some more mature features but...

That wasn’t the face that greeted him. 

The door swung open, a blast of cool, lavender and sage scented air hitting him in the face. And there was no doe eyed beauty staring at him in surprise. 

There was nothing but empty space and a glimpse of some yellow walls and polished wood floors. 

“Who are you?” 

The voice made him look down. And staring up at him was a kid. An 8-ish year old kid. With your eyes and a thick, unruly, mop of dark curls. Bucky can’t speak for a second. 

“I- I- I think I have the wrong address,” he managed after a second. 

The kid just shrugged and said, “Okay.” Swinging the door shut with a finality that made his head spin and his ears ring. 

He stood there for a long moment. Clutching the roses in his fist. And he felt sick. A kid. Was it his kid? How had you not told him? How had he not known? Nat-.

The thought stopped him dead in his tracks and scowling he turned, loping down your front steps and jerking his phone out of his pocket.

“Romanoff,” 

“She has a fucking kid, Natasha,” he growled, taking a deep breath to keep from screaming as he shoved the flowers into a trash bin. 

“Yeah, and?” she said, just barely managing to not sound surprised that he knew.

“How long have you known?” he said accusingly.

“Since she got the positive test,” she said calmly, “Shit. I was in the delivery room with her.”

“But-”

“We all knew. And no. Nicco isn’t yours. His dad is an Italian Model Y/N took a long weekend with a few years ago.” She says all of this calmly. As if the rug wasn’t ripped out from under him. As if he wasn’t struggling to breathe. He didn’t understand why. 

Why you wouldn’t have a baby with him but some random model knocked you up and now all of a sudden what? You wanted to play house? “They still together?” he asked, swallowing hard.

“Oh. God no,” Nat snorted, “He wanted fuck all to do with the kid. Y/N had him sign his rights away AT the hospital about 4 hours after he was born... I go visit a couple times a year... And we all tend to drop by when she comes state side.”

“Why did no one fucking tell me!” he exploded finally. 

“She asked us not too, Buck.” she murmured.

He hung up after that, shoving his phone in his pocket and turning to trudge up the street. He needed alcohol. A lot of it. And he needed to plan his next move.

__________

You half listen for your son’s footsteps in the hall and sneak a little peak at the page of his journal, rolling your eyes fondly. It’s a revised Birthday list, looks like. And like it has been since he was old enough to write it out, it was mostly clothes. 

At the top of the list, of course, was a new pair of boots (with heels please). You can hear it in his prim little voice and it makes you smile. Your little fashionista. He loved looking nice. And it was a constant source of contention that you refused to let him model. At least out side of little fun shoots at your studio. 

“Who was at the door, dearest?” you ask, smiling.

“Mom!” he scolded, “Don’t look at my list! It’s so last month.”

“Nicco,” you chuckle, “You just updated it yesterday.”

“No,” he corrected, “I thought about updating it yesterday... Can I have a pair of pumps?”

You make a soft thoughtful noise, “Yes,” you answer finally, “But not for school.”

“Mom-”

“I don’t want you spraining an ankle. Or damaging your feet,” you explain, “I know- I know. Wedges are terribly passe but. You’re not going to like needing your knees replaced when you’re my age.”

“Ew.”

“Exactly,” you hum, ruffling his hair, “Who was at the door?”

“Oh!” he said, crossing something off his list, “Some guy in a suit. Said he got the wrong address.” 

You nod, turning back to preparing dinner, “What should we have for dessert?” you muse out loud, already eyeing the box of brownie mix in the cupboard. 

“Brownies?” Nicco said, giving you his biggest, saddest eyes. His dimples appearing in his cheeks as he tried not to grin at you. A look that made you just melt. And one you can’t say no to. Even if you should.

You sigh, “Fine,” you tut, “But I’m not paying you to tell me I’m pretty when I get fat.”

“Mom,” he huffed, “You won’t have to pay me to tell you that.” And you really did melt then, kissing him on the cheek s you went to retrieve a mixing bowl.

“I mean,” he added, “If you do pay me I might tell you more often though.” 

And you can’t help it. You laugh. 

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E91 (Jan. 21, 2020)

Good evening, everyone! Sorry about missing last week; @eponymous-rose​ was out of town and I had some other commitments. Regardless, here we are! Brian is looking handsome and cold, as are Sam & Travis on the couch. Everyone is wearing coats. Is the heat broken?

That said, tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham & Sam Riegel.

Brian starts us off asking Sam if he’s remaking the Wire in Beverly Hills. Sam basically embodies that hello fellow kids meme tonight in a hand-knitted beanie from his wife, a bomber jacket, a yellow tee, and skinny jeans. They quickly photoshop in smoke trailing out of his mouth. We’re just a few minutes in and this is off the rails already.

Announcements: The next issue (#5) of Vox Machina comics comes out Wednesday, Feb. 19! It’s also available online at Dark Horse Digital and Comixology. And that’s it! Huh.

Episode 91: Stone to Clay

Brian tells us this is the first time ever to have Sam & Travis alone on Talks. I’m stunned and so are they. Sam says, “between me, Brian, Dani, and Travis right now, there’s four tens on this show right now.”

We’re already into questions less than ten minutes into the show. Truly this is a remarkable night.

63 in game days and 21 episodes passed between Caduceus’s first mention of Stone (episode 71) and Fjord connecting the dots. Travis blames the internet connection and his really bad ADHD night, as that was the night he and Laura remoted in from the hotel.

Brian tells us that when Ashley used to skype in, she could only see Matt & couldn’t see or really hear anyone else.

Travis says there was a huge delay for him between mouths moving and the audio coming through, and then that audio was pretty distorted. Laura could handle it okay, but Travis just heard a jumble and couldn’t parse it.

Sam took a CBD bath the other day and found it exactly as relaxing as a normal bath. Sam & Travis commiserate about taking baths only to have their knees pop out of the water. Tall people problems smh

Caleb & Nott completed the spell in less than a week, including dealing with the Angel of Irons & brokering peace treaties. Travis though the laughter was going to be Helas.

Travis says he definitely didn’t hear the name the first time (he remembered dust but not stone from the lava pits). “Look! Yes! No, I was not listening before! Thursday nights are my times to enjoy my friends and food! Marisha is an amazing note-taker; why would I ever take my own? This is how I got through college!”

Sam says he keeps a mission checklist in his head and has for ages. He has a page in his notebook labeled “To Do” that includes things like visiting Kiri or Shakaste, in case they have downtime and need ideas.

Travis asks if he continues writing in his (apparently) very small handwriting, and Sam says he has to leave room for Laura to draw all her dicks. They all marvel that she is actually a very good artist.

Travis honestly still thinks the Stone name is a huge coincidence, especially since Taliesin didn’t have access to Fjord’s last name when he created Caduceus’s last name and backstory. Sam challenges Travis that even if that were true, doesn’t he think Matt will find a way to tie it together?

Travis says Fjord doesn’t want anything to do with the last name and it’s not even his real name. He’s not convinced this isn’t a coincidence.

Travis did a lot of research into orphanage naming conventions when coming up with Stone. He does have a backstory as to how the orphanage manager picked Stone as his name.

Travis thinks Matt would have emphasized the Stone name more sooner if it had been a true connection and not coincidence.

Brian: “He does like to take credit for coincidences, doesn’t he?”

Nott didn’t think there was a catch in the ritual; Sam was more surprised they were allowed to achieve the milestone at all. He was shocked it happened so soon in the story and that the spell is relatively easy to cast.

He didn’t know it would fail, but there was a moment when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with it. Travis agrees everyone was shocked when it didn’t work.

Fjord’s current stance on faith and destiny hasn’t changed since the last time he discussed it. Faith is a slow thing for Fjord and he really does think the name is a coincidence.

Sam as a player is excited to see what comes next for Nott; “if she had been transformed into Veth at that moment, I would have been excited to see what comes next. The fact that it’s still Nott makes me excited too. I’m excited to see more of Nott since she’s the best character in the M9.” He also confesses he was a bit relieved, in part because it’s delayed the inevitable. At some point she must decide if she is going to stay or go with the M9.

Cosplay of the Week: @kajicosplays​ on instagram of a lovely lady Percy. Brian: “Isn’t it fun when Taliesin’s characters live?”

Deep down, Nott knows she will do the transformation at some point, but at that last moment where she had to make a decision she had to check in with herself to make sure she was ready. Sam Riegel as a D&D player also knows that you have to trust your DM and make choices.

Brian misreads the word “ribbing.” Sam teaches Travis what rimming is. We all learn a lot about each other.

Sam thinks Fjord can realize when the time comes to set jokes aside. He thinks Fjord was very respectful. Travis has honestly forgotten that the conversation took place.

Travis has Dani answer from Fjord’s perspective. It’s actually pretty insightful, talking about how Fjord recognized someone hesitant to give up these newfound powers that have become intrinsically tied to self-worth.

Fjord has always been loyal, and Travis sees his protectiveness of the M9 as a logical extension of this.

Right now, he has found some agency & self-direction and is hopeful to share that sense with everyone else (he especially mentions Yasha).

Sam & Travis start quoting from Half-Baked. This is chaos.

Nott does want to stay with the M9, but she also wants to go home for sure, both of those things. The kiss with Caleb wasn’t necessarily a goodbye; it felt like the closing of a chapter. It felt like something to mark the end of the experience.

Now they’re quoting Beverly Hills Cop. Oh, boy.

“You look like you wrote Pitch Perfect.” When did this turn into a roast?

Fjord has no memories earlier than the orphanage (The Driftwood Asylum). There were a couple dozen kids there aside from him; Travis thinks some of them might have been named Stone. It also operated as a small child-labor workshop for carpentry & woodshop stuff. “It was a terrible place all around.” He has no images of parents or being dropped off.

Sam thought the Nott transformation would be more endgame, though he feels it makes sense that it’s not. “While Nott transforming into Veth was my original goal, what’s great about these long games is that your goals can change two or three times before the end. Now I can explore all these other things: does she want to go back and be a housewife? How does she rectify her obligations to her husband and child to the life that she’s made with the M9? It’s so exciting and interesting.”

Brian asks a hypothetical: if she could transform back but lose all Nott’s memories, would she do it? Sam: “Oh, that’s tough. I don’t know.”

Fanart of the Week: a lovely piece by @pen_draws with everyone in the hot tub.

Travis is very trepidatious about returning to the open ocean after rejecting Uk’otoa. He wants to make sure the third temple is sealed. It feels like it would be too easy for someone not to come and try to collect the job he left half-finished. He also wants to go back to Darktow.

Sam doesn’t know if Nott is still in love with Yeza, although she definitely still loves him. He’s playing with the idea of a high school sweetheart being exposed to the world and then going back home. But Yeza’s amazing, a great guy, perfect. “I guess we’ll find out when/if she turns back into Veth.” Sam feels guilty talking about him. “He’s a fictional character and I feel guilty that he might be watching the show.”

Neither Nott nor Fjord trust Essek. Travis: “He just went from being cold and aloof to being really warm. I know there’s been time and he’s lived an isolated life, but...time will show if he’s being genuine. All of our haunches were up. All of us were on level five alert.” He’s being so helpful that Travis doesn’t trust Mercer with him.

Fjord never ever considered becoming a paladin of the Traveler. “No. Fuck no!” The Wildmother reached out and directly intervened to save him. Travis gets super creepy bad vibes from the Traveler’s relationship with Jester (Sam agrees).

Nott feels more pressure when her own problems become the focus. It’s hard for her to open up and talk about her feelings. She’d rather pick up on other people’s problems. Sam also acknowledges it’s more pressure on him (and anyone) as a player when the whole table is looking at you.

And that’s that! Is it Thursday yet?

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 2: Going from Zero to Antichrist Real Quick

Bumblebee and his camp buddies are trying to figure out what to do with the Titan who just popped out of the ground like a prairie dog, as the sky looks like a Lisa Frank notebook thanks to the portal to the Dead Universe. It’s honestly very nice, we should should get more pretty apocalypses like this.

Bumblebee starts throwing out orders at everyone, much to Slag’s chagrin. When Slag brings up the point that they probably can’t do much of anything to a guy roughly a hundred times bigger than they are, Bumblebee tells him to shut up and do as he’s told.

Yeah, I had about the same reaction, Slag.

So the Dinobots do their thing. Swoop, who I think is the only guy here who can fly, goes up to see what the Titan’s doing. It’s not much, other than looking really upset. Oh no, what if he’s afraid of heights? Poor guy.

Even if the Titan isn’t moving, the mere presence of the thing is jamming signals, which is kind of an issue. Ironhide’s ready to shoot it in the foot, and Arcee will help, because she’s a team player now. Bumblebee has a minor crisis over whether this is the same Titan that told Starscream he was a prophesied son of a gun, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that it is.

Prowl, who has been suffering from short-term memory lapses over the last several months or so because a bug-man was controlling his mind.

Yeah, let’s maybe take his opinion on the matter with a grain of salt, even if he is right.

Over at the Lost Light, Orion Pax is visiting Brainstorm’s workshop, where everyone’s favorite science man is admitting to having studied the Dead Universe’s effects on the living and interviewing people who had been to the area.

Man, I sure hope that guy signed a waiver, otherwise Brainstorm’s going to be in a spot of trouble.

Then we get a quick rundown of what the Dead Universe is: an omnicognizant parallel universe that functions on fundamental principles that differ from our own and wants you to die. So, obviously not a place you would want to go to. Still, we gotta, because that’s where the plot is the Dead Universe is gonna vore Cybertron if we don’t.

Brainstorm agrees to cook something up to make the trip through the Gorlam Prime portal easier.

Back on Cybertron, the Titan looms in the distance as we check in on an oddly pristine-looking Iacon. Rattrap tells Starscream to come out of the closet, because the Titan still hasn’t moved and doesn’t seem like it’s going to anytime soon. Starscream does come out, but it’s with his arms full of weapons of Autobot design that he appropriated from the ruins of Kimia, because he doesn’t trust that Titan to not start some shit. Rattrap suggests that they maybe get a second opinion before they start murdering people for standing in a barren field.

Back on the Lost Light, there’s a little shindig going down at Swerve’s, everyone staring down the table where Optimus, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus are seated. Swerve takes the opportunity to do what everyone else is probably really wanting to, and snaps a few photos of them for his scrapbook. As soon as he’s done, we get to the Emotions portion of our issue.

Rodimus is letting himself be vulnerable in front of the man he idolizes, and I think that’s very brave of him.

Nobody’s feeling super great about the situation they’ve been presented with, but there isn’t a lot that can be done about it now. Just gotta work with what they got. Rodimus asks Optimus how he feels about Starscream being elected leader of Cybertron.

But I thought that freedom was the right of all sentient beings? You know, like the freedom of choice in our government officials, even if they aren’t the best option we could possibly have, because at least they’re better than the guy who had bombs planted in people’s heads for crowd control purposes? Are you saying that it only counted when the concept of freedom could be manipulated so you could go kick Megatron’s ass, and that actual freedom of choice doesn’t jive with your personal sensibilities as much as you’d like everyone to think it does? No wonder you’re going to try to overthrow the entire Earth’s government system to get humanity annexed into Cybertron’s bullshit in a few years’ time.

But perhaps this Starscream thing is actually the work of Megatron! What will Orion do then?

…I mean, do I even have to say it?

ORION, THAT’S GAY.

And I thought we’d already figured out what to do with Megatron back in “Chaos Theory”, where you spent three issues waffling on the subject until the man himself told you to execute him, because even he was sick of your crisis of self. The only reason you didn’t get to act on it was because Megatron disappeared after Vector Sigma blew up and then you fucked off into space without even bothering to check if he was actually dead.

But enough of Orion promising to kill/kiss Megatron, it’s time to see what Brainstorm’s cooked up. It’s not much, but to be fair, he’s only had a few hours to pull something together- our ship’s genius has made a few forcefield generators, using nothing more than some forcefield generators and juice he squeezed out of a bug. Science truly is amazing.

And I bet Trailcutter hates this invention too, for multiple reasons this time!

Cyclonus, who is looking especially purple today, agrees to join the excursion to the Dead Universe, even though it’s pretty clear he really, really doesn’t want to. Hardhead seems in better spirits than our resident space jet, though maybe that’s just bravado macho-man bullshitting on his part.

With our team put together, it’s time to jump out of the spaceship and into a place that quite literally wants them dead. But first Rodimus has a little chat with Ultra Magnus about his feelings. A lot of sharing this issue.

Magnus doesn’t feel fit to be in charge while Rodimus goes off to save the day and maybe die, because he doesn’t have that special something that makes a leader a leader. Charisma? The ability to think on your feet? The ability to see people as people and not numbers? Not having people know you’re actually a much smaller man running around in an Ultra Magnus suit? Whatever it is, Rodimus seems to think that it’s trumped by a mysterious something in his hand, and that Magnus will do just fine.

While Team -Imus goes into the murder reality, Magnus and the Lost Light will be going off to find Jhiaxus, because they need something to do while our protagonist and his absentee father go on their own adventure.

Back on Cybertron, Starscream’s visiting prison, and wants to talk to a very good boy without the guards overhearing. Jazz makes a very vague threat about what will happen if any harm comes to the prisoner, then steps away.

Let’s talk about how to sell toys for a second.

This issue of “Dark Cybertron” had a cover featuring Scoop, the very good boy I’ve mentioned before, because it was paired off with his Generations toy. We know from reading RID that Scoop is the leader of a group called the Construction Patrol, and he likes to help simply for the sake of helping. Sounds like a nice, if generic, character. How is this issue going to introduce people to him? Will he bust out of prison to save the day? Fight evil through heroic sacrifice? Do anything besides talk?

No, he’s going to tell Starscream he’s a herald of death that was foretold in the robot bible.

Yeah, that’ll move some fucking product!

This isn’t even the most batshit thing Scoop’s going to pull in this event, but it is what they decided to put in the issue that “features” him.

Over with Shockwave, we’re treated to some renewed friendships, as Nova Prime and Galvatron reveal that they don’t hate each other after all, but have a mutual respect based in subjugating those weaker than them.

I’m guessing this is a contrast to their previous relationship dynamic in older publications, but I’m not going back to comb through the likes of Heart of Darkness to check, because it really doesn’t matter.

There’s a bit of a snag in Shockwave’s plan to bring Galvatron and Nova Prime back to the Not-Dead Universe, as the space bridge in the Titan burnt up when it got there. Gee, that sucks. I guess all those “Prelude” issues about getting the Titan from Gorlam Prime were sort of a waste of time, weren’t they? Love it when I’m told I wasted my time reading motherfucking Ramondelli issues.

Speaking of Ramondelli, it’s Dead Universe time.

Sigh. Hello, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop. It’s nice to see you.

No, it isn’t. I lied.

I’m sorry, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop, this isn’t your fault.

So we’re here in the Dead Universe, and it’s looking pretty wild and crazy, though the characters are likely thinking this for a completely different reason than we are as readers. It turns out, the Dead Universe… is dying.

…MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THAT’S SOME GOOD WRITIN’ RIGHT THERE

Also, Cyclonus has disappeared, not that anyone actually gives a shit, because they’re too busy dealing with the giant space leeches that just showed the hell up. Dang, why’s that happening?

…That only happens as a form of population control, or if the young in question are sickly and have a low chance of survival, not just because the mama rabbit got a bit peckish between lunch and dinner, you stupid fucking robot.

Half of this writing team won awards a couple years after this was published, I want you to remember that.

They fight the cyberwraiths for a bit, things look like they’re getting dicey, then suddenly they fuck off as Cyclonus shows up, probably fresh off the end of a goddamned panic attack because he’s back in the Dead Universe. Then he proceeds to vomit up some black energon. That’s a fun thing, glad you made me look at that.

Rodimus is concerned that one of their team members has got the Hollywood Tuberculosis cough, but Cyclonus doesn’t want his fucking pity. The fellas decide it’s time to get a move on, seeing as they’ve been here a grand total of 20 seconds and been attacked, so they need to get this over with ASAP.

As Team -Imus flies off in a ship I don’t remember them bringing along, someone decides that they’re going to stick their finger in that puddle of vomit.

Nightbeat you fucking idiot, there aren’t any sinks in the Dead Universe! Now your hand’s gonna be all gross for the entirety of this event! He’s not even analyzing it, it’s just on his hand! Why is Nightbeat having zero concept of personal hygiene a running theme in the things I read? Fuck!

You may be wondering what Nightbeat’s doing in the Dead Universe, or even where he’s been for a good chunk of IDW. We’ve seen him in flashbacks from before the war, but not during or after, least not within anything I’ve covered. So, what’s be been up to?

Fuck you, you’ll have to wait for a later issue to be told what Phase One bullshit you’ll have had to read to understand why this dumbass is here.

Back on Cybertron, Prowl is telling Bumblebee that he sucks because he’s not acting. I’m not exactly sure what he expects Bumblebee to do about the Titan who’s just standing there. It’s not like issuing a loitering ticket is going to do anything. Then the Decepticons attack them, among their ranks being the scariest fucking Ravage I’ve ever seen.

Why do you look like that? Rojo’s supposed to have the cutesy style on this team, why the fuck did he turn the kitty cat into one of the terror dogs from Ghostbusters? 

Anyway, that’s the end of the issue. Sure hope you’re invested enough in trying to figure out what the fuck Nightbeat’s deal is to snag Robots in Disguise #23.

[momentofmemory]

FICTOBER 2020 - day twenty-five

Prompt #25: “Sometimes you can even see.”

Fandom: The Old Guard

Characters: Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani

Words: 1937

Author’s Note: In the aftermath of a rough mission and all the philosophical questions it entails, Joe takes Nile to the Aarhus Art Museum in Denmark. All pieces mentioned were displayed in the Objects of Wonder: From Pedestal to Interaction exhibit, which ran from Oct. 2019- March 2020. Nile POV.

>> the sweetness remains

Nile scrolls mindlessly through Pinterest, wishing for not the first time that she’d been allowed to recreate her socials.

Copley had barred her from practically all of the actually useful ones, but she’d bullied him down to just having an account on Pinterest, with the argument being that no one cared about the site. Granted, she doesn’t really want to be on Pinterest either, but sometimes the comfort of an app with infinite scroll is all she’s looking for in a distraction.

And right now, she really, really needs to be distracted.

Overly photoshopped cat pics.

Memes ripped straight from tumblr or twitter.

The most white girl aesthetic imaginable.

Three slugs ripping through her abdomen and spitting her liver out the other side—

Nile breathes in sharply. Exhales.

Her thumb resumes scrolling.

Photos of downtown that feel like home.

Recipes for harvest butternut squash soup.

Tips for keeping braids fresh longer.

Nile scrolls, and scrolls, and breathes.

Her abdomen still aches every time her lungs expand, even though she knows it really doesn’t. It’s perfectly healed; not even a scar for her troubles. But it’s hard to forget how her instincts had screamed that a gut shot like that shouldn’t be survivable, even as she pushed herself towards the next target.

(She didn’t survive it.)

(She didn’t survive the next half dozen times it happened, either.)

“Did that phone of yours do something to offend you?”

“Whoa!” Joe’s sudden appearance next to her only makes her clench her phone tighter. She forces out a laugh and eases the tension out of her fingers. “Feel like you should know better than to sneak up on someone that’s part of a bunch of immortal warriors.”

“Most of them would have caught me coming long before you did.”

Nile snorts. She scrolls a few more seconds, then closes the app and opens Temple Run. The game’s ridiculously old, but she’s a millennial. Sue her for being nostalgic.

She can feel Joe watching her as she starts the round.

“Am I correct in thinking you enjoy the arts, Nile?”

It’s not the question she was expecting, and she winds up tilting the screen to the left a half second late, and her character falls off the bridge.

It’s okay though, because she can just use a gem and respawn in the same place, so it’s basically like not dying at all.

Right?

“Uh, yeah,” she says. She winds up restarting the round entirely. “The military was supposed to pay for my degree, but I don’t think I can cash that if I’m technically KIA.”

“That would present a certain set of problems,” Joe agrees. “Andy talk to you about that?”

“Yeah.” Nile’s stomach twists. “Guess it depends on how easy it is to schedule classes between firefights.”

She’s practically laying the opening for a talk out herself, but Joe seems uninterested in taking it.

Instead, he shifts beside her, propping an elbow on his knee. “What kinds of art did you want to specialize in?”

She dies again. This time, she begrudgingly uses the in-game save. "I prefer classic sculpture, but I’m not against modern.”

“You like what was modern art for me, then.”

Nile rolls her eyes. “I dread the day I become as weird as you guys.”

He laughs, patting her on the shoulder as he stands. “I suspect by that time you’ll be too busy tormenting our next recruit. But unfortunately, the exhibit we’re going to will be more in the contemporary style.”

It takes Nile a half second to register his words. “Wait, what?”

“The description said it would be 1960s to the present only. If it suits you, we could hold off on our discussion of it for another thousand years or so. I’m sure we can claim it as classic at that point.”

“What?” Nile locks her phone and zeros her attention on him, registering the mischievous glint in his eyes this time. “Museum?”

“The Aarhus Art Museum has a special exhibit on loan from the Tate Modern at the moment.” He glances down at her phone, the corner of his mouth forming a grin. “I’m told its purpose is to help move its audience’s attention from their devices.”

Nile scowls and looks back down at her phone. “I died a dozen times yesterday. I’m allowed my coping mechanisms of choice.”

And.

Whoops.

“Of course you are,” Joe says, offering his hand to her, and she’s once again surprised he doesn’t force the conversation. “But phones are portable. You can take it with you to the museum.”

Nile worries at the edge of her lip with her teeth. She doesn’t really want to go anywhere right now, but…

But Joe’s brown eyes are warm and welcoming, and his callouses help steady her when she takes his hand.

“You said contemporary sculpture?”

The grin he gives her is blinding. “For now.”

_________________

It’s a twenty-five minute drive from their safe house to the museum, and the route takes them next to the Bay of Aarhus for most of it.

Nile stares out at the water, determined to not give Joe any more ammunition for making fun of her regarding her phone.

It’s hard. She’d never considered herself a technology addict—never had enough time to be one—but she really, really wants to stop thinking about the fact that she knows what the inside of her liver looks like.

Or did look like, she guesses.

Nope, nuh-uh, not going there—

“D'you know about the Ship of Theseus?” She spits it out before she can decide against it. She figures if she’s thinking about it, she might as well talk about it. “And don’t say you were there for it. You’re not Andy and I at least know enough about you to know when you’re lying.”

The grin on his face tells her that he was very much intending to before she called him out on it. “It’s a thought experiment. The character Theseus owns a ship that, over a long span of time, has all of its parts replaced, until nothing of the original still remains.”

“Yeah, and so then the question is, is it even the same ship,” Nile finishes.

Joe weaves in and out of traffic, a pensive look on his face. “I assume you aren’t asking simply to test my knowledge of early western philosophy.”

“No.”

Nile looks down at her hands. She can still remember how horrifically mangled they were from her impromptu dive off a skyscraper, but at least—at least she’s pretty sure they’re the same ones she had before.

Though that might not last long.

“In your opinion,” she says, cautiously, “if—if there’s nothing left of the original—if you have to rebuild something that many times—”

“Nile.” The sound of the car’s turn signal distracts her spiraling thoughts. Joe nods towards the windshield. “We’re here.”

It’s a large, red brick square building, fairly nondescript but for the circular and multi-colored glass walking track at its top.

“Come on, he says, parking the car. “I find physical objects superior to mental ones for solving such issues.”

Nile doesn’t understand why the one time she wants to talk about something like this is the one time Joe decides to go full mysterious.

She climbs out of the car and follows him inside.

Despite her misgivings, she quickly discovers Joe was right. The exhibit is genuinely incredible, and there are pieces from multiple names she recognizes—Anish Kapoor, Donald Judd, Rasheed Araeen—and pieces she finds herself strangely moved by, such as Damian Hirst’s Away from the Flock, Richard Long’s Red Slate Circle, Rachel Whiteread’s Airbed II. Nile stares at that last one in particular for a long time: a concrete casting of an airbed, the artist’s presence made known in the negative space where her body had pressed the material down.

Joe, however, seems to be moving with a specific purpose in mind, and it’s not until they round one of the walls of the orange-pink room that Nile has a guess as to what it is.

In the far corner, bathed in the additional light of a single fill light, is a massive pile of multicolored cellophane wrapped hard candies.

Joe walks her over to it, an almost reverence to his steps.

“Untitled: Portrait of Ross in LA,” he says. “Are you familiar with the piece?”

She shakes her head, bending down to inspect it. It doesn’t look like much more than what she’d seen from a distance—candy, multicolored, on the floor. She looks to Joe for an explanation.

“Felix Gonzalez-Torres’s partner died from AIDS,” Joe says. The grief on his face is hard to look at. “To honor him, he made this as a portrait—one hundred and seventy-five pounds of candy, representing Ross’s weight from when he was still healthy.”

Nile looks at the pile—it’s a lot, but it’s not a hundred and seventy-five pounds worth of a lot.

Joe notices her confusion and smiles. “Take one.”

“What?”

“Take one,” he repeats. “The purpose of the work is to invite you to partake in both enjoying his presence and lamenting the lack of it. A sort of communion—choosing to take part of his body into your own. It was a powerful statement when so many were afraid to even be in our presence at the time.”

Nile looks at the pile again, and just like with Airbed II, her heart aches at what isn’t there, rather than what is. She selects a red piece and brings it out of the pile, cupping it in her hand and considering its weight.

“What happens when it runs out?”

Joe selects his own piece—a green one—and it rolls around in the palm of his hand. “It has. Many times. But that’s the beauty of it—it’s the curator’s responsibility to replenish the pile, metaphorically granting immortality and new life to the loss.”

The cellophane crinkles in Nile’s hand as she unwraps the piece. “How do they decide where to get the candy from?”

“The only firm rule is the original weight. Outside of that, there are no set instructions for the candies themselves.” He chuckles, threading his fingers behind his neck and leaning back against the wall. “Sometimes you can even see these strange combinations of greens, oranges, and purples.”

Nile considers the candy. “Not your favorite?”

“It has an almost Halloween quality to it. I tend to prefer the rainbow.”

The candy in her hand feels heavier than it did before—weighed down with the knowledge of what it represents, what it’s taking away.

She slips the candy into her mouth and her eyebrows raise in surprise. “It’s sweet?”

“It’s candy,” Joe says, unwrapping his own piece. “Did you expect something else?”

“I thought it’d be…” She pauses, trying to parse out her feelings. “Bitter. Or sad, somehow. Considering.”

“It could have been,” Joe agrees. “But the portrait isn’t meant to represent just grief and loss. Candy is a happy thing—a reward for yourself, or a lover’s gift on Valentine’s. And even when it’s gone, the sweetness remains. Still lingering on the tongue, or dwelling in the mind. It is the love of friends and partners that keeps the memory alive—and what keeps this the same portrait, even though its pieces have been cycled through many times.”

The candy melts away on her tongue, and she closes her eyes in grief for its loss, appreciation for what it was, and hope for the pieces that would come after it.

She swallows the last piece of it down.

Her stomach settles.

[hayjeon]

Tips on creating fun fanfic headers!

i had so much fun writing the fanfic writing tips yesterday and i got a few more questions about header-making, and so i decided to make one more of these! i hope these tips help somebody out there! hope you enjoy :) 

p.s. these tips won’t require any hard editing skills or photoshop skills, nor any expensive tablets/apps! 

typically i spend around ~5-10 min creating one header, and that’s either after i think of/finish a fic. i have so much fun doing it and sharing it with you that i figured i’d share how i do it! 

why headers? 

as I talked about in my fic tips, one of the most eye-catching things about fics are headers. when i’m scrolling through a rec page, my home page, a tag, or even someone’s masterlist, i’m immediately drawn to well-made headers. that’s what captures my attention, and then i’m more drawn in by the content. so, you can say that headers is your own version of an ad for your own fic, or an extension of it (like the cover of a novel!) 

if you were writing your own book, imagine how much time you’d spend figuring out what you wanted your cover to look like. i try to have as much fun and invest as much time making my own headers because it’s just the cherry on top to my finished product :) 

disclaimer: BUT HEADERS ARE NOT NECESSARY/DO OR DIE! if you don’t feel like you want to do this, then keep writing! its ok! this is just a suggestion. i’ve seen plenty of well-written fics without headers at all, so don’t beat yourself up over not having one/not wanting to do one. this is truly just a fun, extra kind of thing, and only keep reading if you want to learn how i do it! :) 

tips for people who don’t want to make headers: if you still want something to make your fic stand out, use gifs! i use them in my drabbles a lot! this will at least give ur fic a lil boost! 

how to find pictures

I typically use unsplash, which is a free website in which photographers upload their HQ pics for free use. the pics are really high quality, typically stock photos, and don’t have any logos on them like other ones on google. unfortunately, you won’t find any pics of the members or anything, but you’ll find beautiful stock photos of typical scenes like “ocean scene” or “desert scene.” I found the stock photo for cut me open (shown below) on that site by just looking up “medical” or “doctor”. 

i used to use google a lot and just use keywords like “desert scene HQ” and edit the search settings to deliver HQ pics, and a minimum # of pixels, but unplash is definitely better in terms of quality, more aesthetic photos, and no logos/watermarks. 

on some occasions, i will screenshot some scenes of youtube videos, turning up the quality to 1080p or 4k and zooming in so that the pixelation is as crisp as possible, and then editing it later to look good (which i’ll explain in a second!) 

the above photo was a scene from the specific characters from the drama, “100 Days My Prince” that I screenshotted from a youtube video that TvN uploaded, recapping the drama. I cropped it just right so that their faces were left out, which i’ll also mention soon! 

things to look for when picking pictures: 

you want the picture to reflect a specific motif/theme from your fic! if its a moody fic, then try to find a moody scene that you can edit with filters/lighting to look even moodier; or if the characters’ jobs are a big portion of the fic (like cut me open/doctor theme) try to look for stock photos with that shown very clearly!

make sure its high quality: tumblr really dumbs down the quality of the photo when uploading it, so try your best to find something with a lot of pixels in it so that when you start editing, you don’t sacrifice too much of the quality already

try to look for something simple/clean: a picture with too much subject (ie. people in the background, or too much detail) may end up taking away from the main point of your header, which is your title. so find pics without too much clutter! 

try to make sure its landscape: which will help during editing to save some of the quality better. 

editing your pictures

now that you have a specific photo you want to use, now its time to edit! I use VSCO CAM (free app) and my own apple photos cropping tool for faster crops. 

crop/adjust: if your picture is too large/wide, crop it to at least a 16:9 ratio. i’d say aim for skinnier if you can, so that you don’t take up too much space (especially if you’re planning to add headers to your masterlist). also crop out any faces, any clutter, any unnecessary details, so you have a nice, clean slate to work on when adding text. 

contrast/sharpen/clarity/white balance/etc.: i’m not gonna give you a lesson on photography, but i’ll tell you I learned like 80% of everything that i know just by fiddling with it on VSCO! So just try it out and play with the app, see what you can make of it. i’d say a rule of thumb to follow is that you want happier fics with a brighter tone, and moodier/angsty fics with a darker tone so that it can reflect the nature of the fic further, without saying anything! 

if you wanna be extra af like me, then go a step further and photoshop your pics. this one is a good example; when i screenshotted this scene from another youtube video for my fic One Year My Love part 2, i was specifically looking for a scene that would showcase the ornate/regal details of their clothing/environment in contrast to part 1′s modest clothing/scene (the first header in this post). 

i found this scene, but actually, this scene portrays the Crown Prince and the Princess, not y/n. So, the actors weren’t smiling at all! They were actually frowning at eachother in this scene, to portray the tension between the two characters and their marriage. 

So, I took the extra step, adjusting the pic with VSCO so that their shoulders/chins were at the same level, cropped off their faces up until their lips, and then used the adobe photoshop free app to photoshop their lips to be SMILING at eachother!!!! subtle, but important! 

call me crazy for taking that much time but i’m so proud of how it turned out and i loved every second of making this one. that way, this scene makes it portray the happy ending for Jungkook and y/n! 

adding text to your header

you can use any app out there, but i really like Font Candy! I actually ended up buying the 2$ version of this and never regretted it, but you can actually find a lot of their basic fonts on the free version; I tend to use the fonts: OSTRICH SANS, BEBAS, TREND, and INTRO the most! these are pretty clean-looking, block letters that look good whenever i put them as my titles. 

I love this app too cause you can easily control the spacing between letters to make them take up more space, add shadows, or even make them contrast their background using the overlay feature; like this one i made for wildest dreams (see how the text changes depending on what part of the photo its on? amazing! it’s literally with a click of a button!!)

And i’ll always add “written by HAYJEON” or “by HAYEJON”, space it out, and add it somewhere underneath as my own branding.

orrrrrr 

if you want to be more creative, you can even go a step further and use whatever you have on hand to enhance whatever you’re trying to portray. 

for this one, i ended up finding this amazing photo on unsplash and i thought it would do a create job of portraying the “movie-set” quality of what wildest dreams is going to be about. this stock photo had someone else’s names on it, so i used my ipad, and used instagram to just erase the existing writing with the color of the background, and then wrote in my own title and url with my own handwriting/apple pen!!! 

i thought this was pretty cool because it’s like wildest dreams is its own movie/has its own movie set, which, once it’s out, you guys will see that it’s supposed to be! 

saving/uploading

this is pretty easy/obvious, but i figured i’d mention it. all the apps i mentioned are available on the appstore, and they will save directly to your photos. after doing that, i’ll just upload them into a special folder i have on my google drive so that when i’m finished writing a fic on tumblr using my laptop, i can easily download the photos without sacrificing quality. easy! 

and that way, i can save them forever; even if i have to delete them from my computer, i can always redownload them! 

side note: making text separators

i just recently started doing this, but ever since tumblr took down their text separators, i’ve just been cropping the bottom like 5-10 pixels of the header to use as my text separators! (with my laptop)

i saw some other writer doing it and thought that it looked better than what i had used previously (a cropped photo of a random line i found on google); i found that doing this tied my fics together a little better and just looked better aesthetically; 

so there it is! hope you enjoyed! :) i would love to see what other tips you guys have been using, feel free to send me an ask or reply to this post; and if you end up using any of my tips, please let me know! I love to hear from you guys all the time <3 

lots of love, especially during these times, 

hay <3 

[razorblade180]

OC test: Flex

[Not in the literal term. All the boys here will simply show off their style and charm in an attempt to steal some hearts and blush some faces.]

Kovu:So in other words...

Sparrow:Eye candy. Crank up that testosterone the best way you know.

Jael:A bunch of shirtless guys sounds boring.

Eliza:You heard the woman. Be bold and unbuckle those pants!

Jael:No! Not at all what I meant!

Jacquelyn: *turning away* (Probably for the best if I don’t witness this.)

Carmine and Valerie:....

Yujin:*red* Doesn’t this seem shameful?

Summer and Veronica:Shhhhhh

Veronica:Oh yeah, should we get the guy out of tree then?

Carmine:What guy?

Veronica:The guy I smell in the tree. He’s been there awhile. He has the scent of a bird.

An eerie silence falls amongst the group. Carmine slowly turns towards the tree, shooting a death glare. She takes a massive lunge towards it. Aero immediately emerged from the top, flying out of reach from Carmine’s very lethal hands.

Carmine:Who told you that you can be here, huh Aero!?

Aero:Oh quit with the theatrics. I know you’re happy to see me.

Carmine:Say that within arms reach!

Aero:No...

Nick:Who that?

Summer:And what’s his number?

Kovu:That would be Aero. He probably snuck in when I was let inside. His semblance has a way of catching people off gaurd, making it easy to pull a fast one on them. Hi Aero.

Aero:Hey goodie goodie. Mind doing some good and pulling the thorns off of this rose.

Kovu:Carmine, he’s not gonna leave. Might as well suck it up and let him be.

Carmine:I’ll let him be injured and begging for mercy. That’s what I’ll let him be.

Yujin:Wasn’t there supposed to be a test going on?

Eliza:Well one guy has already started.

Yujin:What? Who-oh my goodness! Tenzen! *red*

The street performer had removed his shirt when nobody was looking, then out on an opened hoodie. Tenzen’s abs were on full display with his broad, strong chest. His pants were replaced with shorts that showed off his toned calves. He put up the fox ear hood and casually drunk a water bottle. As usual, Tenzen looked playful, yet overwhelming attractive. It didn’t help that his shorts hung a little lower than they should’ve.

Tenzen:What?! Too stupid?

Eliza:The only stupid thing here is how your body looks like a mannequin. I know dancing makes you fit but sheesh.

Tenzen:It’s the martial arts.

Veronica:Nice.

Sparrow:Oh we’re starting? I guess I can show a bit of skin. After all, a sailor isn’t a sailor if he isn’t drenched and showing off.

Under these rules, Sparrow felt a little bad for the others. He was the guy here that could be considered truly grown. That maturity came with knowledge in many things. Charm was one of them. His hands pulled off his shirt fluidly. A stroke of his hand running through his hair not only showed off his trained body, it flexed his biceps. Unlike Tenzen, Sparrow had a body that was bulked up. Muscles were beefed up and made to form a temple that was hard as stone. His diabolical brown scruff and brown tanned skin gave Sparrow a rugged look that Jacquelyn sneak a peak and Eliza gulp the moment his other hand casually hung from his right pocket. Even Carmine was surprised by the older man.

Carmine:Wow, a shirt hid all that? You bench logs or something?

Sparrow:The military doesn’t train weaklings you know?

Eliza:(Eight years. Just give about eight years Sparrow.)

Kovu:My, my, that looks fun. But not as fun as that white haired cutie.

Summer:M-Me!?

Kovu:*flies down* I know a face like that anywhere. Who would’ve thought a Schnee would have such kind eyes? Not an icy glare at all. *rubs her face* You got a name?

Summer:I, uhh, yeah! I mean who doesn’t. Hehe wow you’re really umm close. Wait, my name! You’re probably still waiting for-

Nick:It’s Summer; and if you’re looking for the Schnee icy glare then look my way.

The chill of a glare sharper than any sword pierced right through Aero as he saw the white haired boy. Yeah, he’s definitely a Schnee. He respectfully stopped touching Summer and stood before Nick.

Aero:Cold, dagger like glare, white hair, and short. Yeah, you’re Weiss’s kid alright. How cute...

Nick:Call me short again and I’ll cut you down.

Carmine:As much as I would love to see that, Aero might be a little much for ya unprepared. Case in point, he’s not in front of you.

Nick raised an eyebrow and blinked. In that moment, Aero was gone. The boy was standing by Eliza, pinching her cheeks.

Eliza:Ow! How did you-

Aero:You’re a familiar looking face. Between your hair color and skin tone I almost thought Mona was here. I bet-

Carmine:No.

Aero:Well that’s the end of that I guess.

Eliza:Stop pinching me!!!!

Sienna:He’s a bit of a weird one.

Jael:The word is rude. He’s giving me a headache. Not to mention dragging out this test.

Aero:Hmm? What, the sexy thing. I thought that was over. I mean I’m here and everything. Y’all fighting for second place?

Sparrow:Hmph.

Veronica:That’s confidence you don’t see regularly.

Valerie:Call it like it is. He just shit talked every guy here into bringing their A-game.

Kovu:Oh Aero, you dummy. If you wanted me to play with you so badly then you just had to ask nicely...

The air in the room quickly changed. The two boys faced each other and smirked playfully. Kovu dragged his sharp finger nail down his shirt, tearing it. Aero laughed and proceeded to remove his own. Apparently this was a normal thing between the two. The tall boys got closer until Kovu was able to push Aero gently against a wall, wings spread out. Kovu was taller by an inch and buffer. His torso was well defined along with his chest, but the main focus was his arms on each side of Aero. Not only were they big, but each muscle group was blatantly visible. The boys eager eyes were focused in on his cocky younger friend.

Aero casually propped up his foot on the wall and put his hands in his pockets. Aero was no where near as bulky as the beast before him, but he cut to perfection in more ways then one. Faded scar ran across is toned body. The small black gages and wind swept hair only elevated his attitude. Everyone but Carmine were confused about what they were watching.

Valerie:Ummm are they about to make out?

Eliza:*red* I don’t know....but I want to.

Veronica:I think they might do more than make out.

Summer:(I’d pay to be in the middle of this beef sandwich.)

Yujin:Carmine, please explain.

Carmine:Nothing to explain. This happens sometimes. I don’t know why.

Tenzen:KISS!!!

Aero:They’re totally looking more at me than you.

Kovu:Bitch you wish you were this sexy. Don’t let those little girls in Vacou hype you up too much. They’re easy.

Aero:Don’t talk about your cousin like that.

Carmine:....

Everyone:....

Carmine:.....

Sienna:Y’all fu-

Carmine:YES, MOVING ON NOW. Lucas, take off your pants or something!

Lucas:Nobody wants that.

Sienna and Summer:Well...

Lucas:I am not taking my pants off.

Jael:Wet t-shirt. Then we can put everything behind us.

Jacquelyn:You can try and enjoy this a little sweetie.

Jael:Make this a women challenge and I’d be-... wait, I’d have to participate in that. God this sucks.

Lucas.Tenzen, pass me a water bottle.

Eager to please, Tenzen tosses two. Lucas caught both midair and poured them right onto his face; his white tank becoming completely drenched in the process. The fabric clung to his body, pressing against every crease, every conceivable worked out muscle. The others looked amazing, but Lucs might as well be photoshopped. Was fat even on his body! His back looked strong and legs even more so. Lucas’s hair stuck to his face and he let out a agitated groan. Despite that, it actually made him more appealing to Eliza. Others were admittedly distracted by his body to even notice his face. A xylophone could be played on a body like that.

Tenzen:Damn, I thought I was in shape before today.

Carmine:Aren’t you a shit in?

Lucas:I can still work out, and no. I just don’t deal with people or feel bad about staying in indefinitely.

Jael:A shut in!

Jacquelyn:That’s like...the definition.

Aero:Eh, not bad I guess.

Lucas:Little boy, I can snap you like a twig. Don’t get snippy with me.

Aero:Oooo feisty. Well if we’re done here-

Yujin:Hold on. Nick hasn’t gone yet.

Nick:Can you shut up!!!!

Yujin:Oh, hehe, my bad. I thought you’d be excited?

Nick:Why? I mean...sigh what’s the point? Not in the mood to embarrass myself.

Kovu:What?

Aero:Yeah that’s a smart move. I mean look at him compared to the rest of us. It’s like night and day in here.

Carmine:Aero!

Nick:He’s right. No real muscles, strong features, facial hair, scars, height... just a shrimpy sixteen year old with cash. *Smiles* Honestly I never really seen much good about m-

Valerie:Oh give me break. Do you really think any guy could hold a candle to you!? You’re caring, quirky, driven, and humble to a fault. Nick you’re so-

Nick:*wide eyed*....

Valerie:*red*Ummm y-you get the point. So don’t even think about discrediting yourself.

Nick:I uhhh appreciate the compliments, but those traits are exactly a flex or considered sexy.

Veronica:Lies!!! What’s sexier than a caring young man!

Nick:Abs.

Eliza:Oh for the love of-you’re all ridiculous.

She marches over to Nick and grabs him by the collar. Her hand rises to slick his hair back to clearly show of his beautifully tired eyes and gentle face, unmarked by anything but except self inflicted stress. It’s a shame he wasn’t feeling competitive. He may not know it, but that always captured a room. Eliza took off his vest and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt. The crowd was left stunned by the simple transformation. He looked more regal than usual, yet casual.

Eliza:Sexy doesn’t mean naked dummy. And as far as physical traits go...*red* there’s a reason all the girls flock to you. You’re...annoyingly handsome. Some might even say pretty.

Nick:*blushes*

Eliza:And then you do that! Can we agree Nick wins and move on!?

Everyone:Yeah.

Aero:I guess I’ll take second.

Lucas:You mean third.

Kovu:He actually meant fourth.

Aero:Rude.

Carmine:Good.

[purplesurveys]

1220

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care?  I imagine so, yeah. I’d check up on her family and help in any way I can, if it’s still welcomed.

Is there something you’re happy about at the moment?  I share this all the time in surveys at this point but I’m just really giddy that it’s a Friday evening hehe. Also, I’m seeing Angela, Hans, and (finally!!!) Reena later! We’ll be going to UP to shoot some photos since Angela and Reena are graduating this year and we wanna take pictures with the sunflowers in the campus before they die out. I also never got to take sunflower photos when I graduated last year, so it will be my chance to do so as well.

Do you want someone dead?  Wow, no.

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?  It almost never crosses my mind, honestly.

Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal?  I’ve fed many of them before, yup.

What is something you tend to worry about?  Pending deliverables at work, especially ones that are out of my control.

What is something you do that is unhealthy?  Be in front of a screen as soon as I’m awake until the second I turn in.

What is something you do that is good for you?  I’m no longer afraid to prioritize myself when necessary.

What last caused you to force a smile?  Ooh I’m not sure. I haven’t had to do that in a while, which is a good thing. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun?  Probably Mario Kart on the Switch, but it’s been a WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE. Yeah it’s one of my favorite series for a reason.

What is something not many people know about you?  The fact that I’m obsessed with anything classic Hollywood and I’m a big Audrey Hepburn fan. The topic never gets brought up so I don’t really get the chance to say anything about that interest of mine.

What word describes your basic style?  Casual, laidback. I’m more than happy with just a simple t-shirt and denim jeans these days and I think I’m over my jumpsuit/romper phase haha.

Have you ever been told you were going to Hell?  It was referred to/threatened to me, but not directly with these words.

Have you ever wanted to kill yourself?  It was a regular occurrence before.

If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it?  I think overall I was just scared of fucking it up and fucking up my brain for life as a consequence. Also I knew no one was going to take care of Kimi as well as I do, and I would never leave him behind.

Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better?  Nope.

Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)?  It’s definitely an Asian thing but it will sometimes hurt my chest when I see people wear shoes in their homes.

Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it?  I wanted to be kind to myself and finally let go of what had been keeping me from starting to be happy and pleased with where I am and have.

What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master?  This is such a shallow answer lol but I’ve recently gotten into this rhythm game called Rhythm Hive that I found impossible to master at first, but after weeks of practicing I now breeze through all the songs at their hardest level.

Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight?  I haven’t done that, but I’ve watched a movie premiere at midnight - for both times the Breaking Dawn movies came out.

Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot?  Yes and yes.

Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings?  Nope, they don’t really work on me. I have my own outlets that help me relax.

Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children?  Coloring is one. Also animated movies; I never grew out of those.

Is there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Definitely eating out. I’ve done it a couple of times before by myself and it does feel nice, but I also always can’t help but think it would be a lot more fun and that I would be much happier if I was sharing the experience with someone else.

Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover?  Ugh god I need to rearrange and upgrade my room STAT. My K-Pop merch are starting to pile up but they’re all currently in just lazy heaps scattered around in my room since I don’t have any shelves or anything to properly display them on.

Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? This is always me with BTS merch...

Who makes you smile the most?  My friends.

What piercings do you want/have?  Just one on each earlobe. I’m not looking to have any more.

What's your favorite website?  Twitter.

Do you own a fish tank with fish?  We never had one, no.

Do you like the movie 300?  I’ve never seen it and will probably never have plans to. It’s not my cup of tea.

Do you pop your knuckles?  When I feel stressed or when my knuckles feel strained, yes.

Do you have Photoshop?  Nope, I have no use for it.

Do you use tinypic or photobucket?  Way back in the day. I’m not even sure if those websites still exist.

What’s your favourite song from the 1980s?  Heaven Is A Place On Earth.

How about the 1990s?  I’m not sure I have one.

Have you won anything recently?  Yeah we played this online game over Google Meets with my co-workers just this afternoon, before clocking out. My team won twice.

How often do you make Excel tables? What for?  Oh everyday. I work on a handful of sheets every single day at work, but I also like making spreadsheets for personal use haha. Right now the one I’m currently super invested in is my tracker for all the merch I’ve been buying so I can keep note of my pending payments and which ones I should already be asking for updates on.

What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild?  Not sure, I’m barely outdoors.

Are you always available or online?  Yup.

Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like?  No allergies or restrictions.

Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Silver.

Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what?  Not really. I’ve stopped watching Hwarang for now, but I do have plans to come back to it someday. I guess I just haven’t been in a K-drama binge-watching mood lately.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon?  I’ve never had my hair dyed.

If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. < Same.

Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents?  It depends on the story behind it, but mostly no. How close they are with their family isn’t a priority matter for me.

Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? All the time, especially as a teenager who wasn’t getting any emotional support at home.

What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe?  When you work on something and expect mediocre results and feedback, but it ends up getting praised instead and you feel all the hard work pay off.

Have you ever grown a berry bush?  Nope.

Have you done something new to your hair recently?  It’s been untouched since the very start of the pandemic. My sister actually suggested that since I had it cut right when the pandemic started, I should wait out till the end of it and see how long it’ll reach. It sounded intriguing enough so now I’m indefinitely growing it out hahaha.

Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I’m sure I have it, I’ve just never been diagnosed before.

One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have?  Managing to get over a rough breakup quicker than I ever expected to.

What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head?  It was when I was leaving Angela’s house yesterday and an “I love you” to her parents rolled out of my tongue so naturally I almost didn’t notice it; and when they said it back in a heartbeat. It’s when I realized that her parents are really like my second parents and that her house is a second home at this point. My heart was filled the entire drive home.

How often do you have late nights out?  Never because we still have a curfew.

If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive?  I don’t have a choice; it’s the set-up we’re required to live in. I’m pretty productive here at home but then again I don’t have a point of comparison considering I got my first job already in the midst of the pandemic.

If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now?  I would like to bring snow to the Philippines.

Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it?  Upgrade my room and invest in shelves and other home decor/interior design stuff that would make the space more comfy and homey. Right now it just looks like a warehouse with my merch piled up in scattered places.

Most disturbing movie you have ever seen?  Eraserhead or I’m Thinking of Ending Things.

Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it?  I have multiple life goals - some of them I’ve achieved, like getting into my dream university and simply getting employed, and some of them I’m still working my way towards, like getting a promotion. Yeah I feel like I’ll achieve my goals someday. I don’t like losing LOL so when I want something I usually put it above everything else.

Have you ever had food poisoning?  Yup.

What are you listening to?  Blue & Grey by BTS.

Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. < Yeah, let’s go with this too.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo?  No.

Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would?  Yes. Tbh I never expect anyone to like me so I’ve always been surprised when I hear about someone who does.

In all honesty, can a person be too nice?  Yes, especially if they’re starting to be taken advantage of.

Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you?  No.

Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse?  Any abuse is bad. :/

Do you shop at Sephora for make-up?  Nope.

Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time?  Twilight Princess only because I grew up with it and never got to play Ocarina of Time.

Do you own a rosary?  I did - I went to Catholic school. But I lost mine all the time because I didn’t really care for them lol I always had to buy new ones at the school bookstore.

If you were homeless, how would you cope? I don’t know.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #404

“death doesn’t answer when i cried for help”

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I'd be fucking devastated. It wouldn't feel real. Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? A few things. I'm still on that high of my APAP mask working, like I'm actually getting some fucking quality sleep, and I think I'm noticing the effects of my TMS therapy finally, too. My PTSD has most notably been much more bearable, and my interests are beginning to spread again. Do you want someone dead? No. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? I mean yeah, I think that's pretty normal, even for someone without my issues. Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? Oh, many times. What is something you tend to worry about? My health and future. What is something you do that is unhealthy? Sit at the computer for way too long. I'm absolutely certain my vision is as poor as it is partially because of me endlessly staring at screens. What is something you do that is good for you? I'm not afraid to prioritize my mental health. What last caused you to force a smile? I was watching a Mark video for the first time in a while and was just reminded of how much I love and appreciate that moron. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? Because you said "video" game, I guess I'll exclude computer ones, in which case I'm pretty sure it was Silent Hill 2. Given it's one of my all-time favorite games, of course I think it's fun. It's one hell of an emotional ride. What is something not many people know about you? The fact I was a dancer for many years would probably surprise people once they have a good idea of me and what I like. What word describes your basic style? Lazy, honestly. I dress for comfort, and given that's usually just pj pants and a tank top... yeah, I don't put much effort into my clothing when I'm going most places. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? She kinda beat around the bush, but yes. Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? On more than one occasion. If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? Well, I did OD once, but on the other occasions, it was the fear of the unknown that deterred me. Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? Omg no, thank god. I would NOT handle that well. Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? I didn't know 'til a survey question asked it that there are people who don't brush their tongue when brushing their teeth. Like holy shit dude, there are SO many germs on your tongue, clean that shit. Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? Ummmm the nearest that comes to mind is I guess taking my meds? I mean I do that every single day, but it's still a healthy choice for me. The motivation was because I am very serious about doing what I can for my mental wellbeing. What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? I really can't think of something for the first half of the question, but I can tell you that right now I'm attempting to force a routine of applying a therapy technique called "opposite action" into my daily life, where you, well, do the exact opposite of what your depression tells you to not do. It is WAY harder than it sounds, but I'm doing it with reading 30 minutes a day! Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? Not to my recollection, no. Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? The last novel I finished, yes. It wasn't central to the plot. Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? No, except in therapy when different therapists wanted me to experiment with it during a session. They just don't work for me. Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? Yeah. Those are the one I'm especially self-conscious about. there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Watching movies or TV. Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? A makeover would be nice... Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? OKAY SO I actually have seen this custom-made once long after deciding I wanted it, but it was RIDICULOUSLY expensive. There's a location in the Silent Hill games called Heaven's Night, and I'd love love LOVE to commission someone to duplicate the neon pink sign of it to hang in my room. Hopefully one day I could still do it. Who makes you smile the most? Probably my cat, honestly. What piercings do you want/have? I've talked about the piercings I have, but I'll talk about those I want. My #1 is absolutely collarbone dermals, but as I've explained a billion times, I want to lose weight so the bones are more prominent for the sake of contrast; you can't really see my collarbones now, so I just think it'd look pretty dumb and random to just have random piercings somewhere around there with no dimension. I also want way more in my ears, dermals in my back dimples also once I've lost weight, my right nostril for the dozenth time (but this time I'll wear a hoop), and while I'd absolutely adore an undereye microdermal as well, it'd be pointless with glasses. :/ What's your favorite website? KM is my pride and joy and really feels like my online home, so despite using sites like YouTube more, that 'ole RP site has to be my fave. Do you own a fish tank with fish? No. I had fish bowls (AWFUL idea) as a kid, but never tanks Do you like the movie 300? Never seen it. Do you pop your knuckles? NOOOOOOOOOOO. I absolutely hate the sound. It makes me cringe and shiver. Do you have Photoshop? Yes. It comes in the Adobe CC photography bundle I have. Do you use tinypic or photobucket? I used Photobucket back in the day. Now I just upload to imgur. What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? You're talking to someone who adores classic rock/metal, haha. How about the 1990s? There are way too many songs to choose from. Have you won anything recently? No. How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? There was a poor fawn as roadkill on the highway recently. :/ Are you always available or online? Preeeetty much. Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? I can eat whatever. Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Steel. I'm allergic to silver, and I think steel is more subtle than gold. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? I do it at a salon. If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? If they had a good reason, no. Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? As a kid I did because I thought Mom was meaner to me than my siblings, lol. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? ........... This question is a setup lmfao. Have you ever grown a berry bush? No. Have you done something new to your hair recently? No. It's been the same for quite a while. I wanna dye it badly. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I'm diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, so yeah. I take Klonopin once and day and Ativan as needed for attacks. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? HA, the first thing to come to mind was being noticed by Mark by making a viral (in the community, anyway) gif of he and his doggy. I shit you not, I couldn't sleep for three days lmfao. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? That I gained fucking seven pounds in two months at my last doctor appointment. I wanted to scream. How often do you have late nights out? Never. I'm a homebody. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No. It would absolutely make me less productive. If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? Cool with a nice breeze, mostly clear skies, crisp air... That'd be nice right now. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? I say it all the time: finish decorating my room. It's funny, because I KNOW I'll feel more at home and cozy with my bedroom more personalized. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity. The ending was... a lot. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? Not that I can think of. .-. I hope I can achieve some... Have you ever had food poisoning? No, thank God. What are you listening to? "The Man Who Made a Monster" by Dance With the Dead. Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah. Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? Maybe? Idk. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yes, in some instances. Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? Yes, when I was around 12. And I let it happen. It's one of my biggest regrets. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Of course it is. Emotional abuse can cut just as deep as some physical blows, or even deeper. Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? No. Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm actually not into TLoZ. Do you own a rosary? I did as a kid growing up in a Catholic Sunday school. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I had no loved ones in my life and no sign of things getting better, I'm honestly preeetty sure I'd end my life.

[snaileer]

Chips & Salsa Chp 4

Shiro strode down the castle hallways. Repeatedly. Maybe more like paced. But hey, it was like 4 am and he deserved to be a little stressed out. Waking up and calming yourself down from a panic attack was hard work. He missed having access to coffee.

He slowed down in front of Lance’s room. Keith would tease him for being an ‘overprotective space-dad’ but Shiro was worried about Lance. He wanted to help him, but how could he help Lance if he couldn't even help himself. Shiro had tried to support Lance but all that did was make him angry at him.

He was about to keep walking when he heard a mumble from inside the room. And then a groan. It sounded like someone was breathing really harshly.

Lance.

He must be having a nightmare. Shiro immediately jumped for the door.

“Lance-!” He stared at the empty bed in confusion before lowering his eyes to the ground where Lance was.. “Are you doing push-ups?”

“Shiro! What the hell?! Why are you running in here yelling at 2 am?”

“It’s 3 am. And because I thought you were having a nightmare. I wanted to help,” Shiro watched as Lance rolled and got up from the ground.

“Well, I’m not, so… All good.” Lance smiled hesitantly and did finger guns at him. Shiro raised an eyebrow and leaned back on his hip, Shiro was probably the last person Lance wanted to see right now but-

 Lance sighed and dropped his hands as he turned his back to Shiro, “Look, if you wanted to help me you’d let me leave. Or at least spar with me.” 

“The first one I can't help you with,” Lance’s shoulders sagged a bit, “And I don't think you should be doing anything rough this soon.”

“Right, I forgot, Shiro has to follow all the rules,” 

“Lance, we just don't want you to get hurt or-”

“You guys know you don't need to pity me, right? I’m not some fragile weakling who can't handle anything.”

“I know that-”

“Then why can’t you fight me? Was I really that bad when I came out of the pod?”

“No. I promise we’re not scared of you just because you lashed out a bit.” Shiro felt he had to compromise for Lance at least a little bit. He sighed, “As long as you’re careful, I think we can probably try some light training,” Shiro smiled, “If you’re not too tired.”

Lance turned around and he smiled a bit, “Oh, you know I’m not.” Lance and Shiro walked out of the room together, heading towards the training room. “And I bet I could beat you now,”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah for sure. I picked up some badass ninja tricks in my time ‘away’ from the team” Lance did air quotes around away, “And you’re probably the only one on the team I’ll actually feel comfortable sparring with, so I’m glad your mid-morning pacing brought you to my room.”

“You heard me?”

“Of course I heard you, Shiro. I’ve learned to pay attention to whose footsteps are outside my door.” Lance threw a look at him. The implications of his words set Shiro on edge more than he would like to admit.

He tried to brush it off for another time, “And why am I the only one you want to spar with?”

“Because I need to fight but I also need to know that I’m fighting with someone that can handle me if���” Lance’s voice tapered off as he looked down.

“If?”

“If I lose control.” 

Shiro stopped in his tracks, his voice small, “What?”

Lance stopped as well and turned back to him, though he didn't look him in the eye. “Shiro, you and I both know how bad it gets in.. that place. And we know how hard it is to come out the same on the other side. I mean, you’re not fooling anybody with the ‘I wake up this early because I have self-discipline and military training.’ Plus, you were the one to snap me out of it when I got out of the pod and started throwing hands.”

“But you shouldn’t have to think about this stuff. You shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

“Neither of us deserved what happened to us. But it happened all the same and now we have to move past it.” Lance motioned down the hall, but Shiro wasn’t paying attention.

“But I should’ve protected you. I shouldn’t have let them take you, or even let them have the chance to get close to you. I was just so focused on getting out of there. Getting as far away from that ship as possible and I wasn’t paying enough attention and I shouldn’t have let you go off on your own.” Shiro stared down at his own hands, one that barely seemed like his most of the time.

“No,”

“What?”

“No.” Lance paused, “Shiro, you spent a year on that ship, I spent about three months there. Out of anyone on this team, I know what that place is, what it does to you; and there is nothing wrong with hating it. I should hate it. So it is not your fault that you wanted to leave, we all make mistakes sometimes.” 

“But-”

“Especially when we’re afraid. Shiro, just for one second, put your massive guilt complex to the side. Please. For me?” Lance pulled out the big puppy dog eyes to pout at Shiro.

Shiro gave him a shaky smile, “Yeah, Lance, for you.”

“Great, now can we please go fight?” Lance motioned forward with his hands again.

“That’s the only reason I’m here, isn’t it?”

Lance’s fists clenched and unclenched as he followed Shiro down the hall. He felt guilty about pushing Shiro to fight with him... but doing sit-ups and push-ups all night could only cure his jitteriness so much.

“Yeah, it is.”

x--x--x

“Everybody get your lazy asses over to- Hunk! No- I don't want- Fine!” Pidge’s voice bellowed over the speaker system before fading into mumbled arguments.

Hunk’s voice came on afterwards, “What she meant was: Can everybody please come to the kitchen? I made breakfast and Pidge has something to show all of us. Even though she’s being sour and won’t tell me what it is.” The last part sounded like it was spoken at someone else in the room rather than into the microphone.

“Well, I’m sorry but I don't want to repeat-” The intercom clicked out Pidge’s muffled response.

Shiro looked down from the ceiling of the training room at the same time as Lance did. They made eye contact and stared at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.

“It’s good to know Hunk is still attempting to wrangle Pidge after all this time. ” Lance struggled out past laughter.

Shiro’s laughter wound down a bit at the comment, still chuckling, “Well, it was a little hard while you were gone, but it sounds like they’re bouncing right back. I don't know if I’m happy about the return of the fighting though.”

“Don’t worry, Space Dad, you can always ground them.” Lance grinned

“Ooh, I am gonna kill Keith for telling you about that.” Shiro cursed his brother under his breath.

“Hah!” Lance inched towards the door, then smirked, “Who do you think told Keith?”

“No.” Shiro’s eyes narrowed in disbelief.

“Oh Yeah,” Lance smiled bigger.

“No…”

“Yep, and I helped Pidge photoshop your Leap Year baby photos.”

“That was you!?”

“The very one!”

Shiro gasped in mock anger and lunged for Lance, but he was already running from the room, grabbing his jacket by the door before sprinting towards the kitchen.

Lance spotted Keith walking down the hall from his room.

“Keith!!” Keith paused to look back, “Shiro found out you told me his birthday!”

“Shit.” Keith turned and ran.

“Nooo! Keith, you were supposed to help me!”

“I grew up with him, it’s your turn!” He ducked into the relative safety of the kitchen, Lance close on his heels.

“Where’s Shiro? And why are you two so out of breath?” Hunk asked from next to the oven.

“Oh, don’t worry, he should be right along in-” Shiro burst in, “Now.”

“I can’t believe you, Lance!” Shiro yelled. Hunk dropped his pan in surprise and Pidge nearly fell off her perch on the counter at the sudden clatter.

“Sorry, I saw an opportunity and it was my obligation as a younger sibling to use it.” Lance shrugged.

“Ignoring whatever is going on there,” Pidge waved her hand at Lance hiding from Shiro behind Hunk, “I’ve got some information on the tracker.” Lance’s smile shrunk immediately and the room paused to look at her.

“What?” “What’d you find?” “Can you get rid of it?”

“Whoa, everybody slow down. Let her talk.”

“So I woke up early this morning-”

Lance interrupted her, “Seriously, was I the only one in this whole castle with a normal sleep schedule? Hunk’s already made breakfast and it’s only 6 o’clock,” He threw his hands up at the second pan of space-pastries Hunk pulled out of the oven.

“Hey, you know I bake when I’m stressed. Or tired. Or worried.” 

“Believe me, it’s hard to forget when you force-fed me un pastelito every meal during finals week.” Lance moved to look at Hunk with crossed arms.

“Yeah..”

“And midterms,”

“Maybe..”

“And your history tests.”

“Hey, those are hard.”

“And your English project.”

“That was only once.”

“Okay! I think we’re getting off topic!” Pidge yelled.

“Oh, yeah. Pidge, what’d you find?” Hunk turned back to face her on the counter. Lance angrily bit into a pastry he’d snatched behind him. 

“As fun as watching Lance burn his tongue on space-jelly is, I think we have a chance at getting rid of the chip.” Lance glared at her.

“So I woke up really early this morning because of something I discussed with Keith about the chip last night,” the group looked at Keith but he just shrugged, he knew just as much as the rest of them. “There’s no strategy in putting the chip in Lance’s brain.”

“Why would you ask Keith about strategy? His only strategy is run in, stab them and ask questions later.”

“Hey!”

“Well am I wrong Mullet-!?”

“I’m not done!” Pidge yelled again.

“Fine.” Both boys begrudgingly backed off each other.

“It’s too much work for just a tracker they could put anywhere, so I looked closer at where they put it,” Pidge pulled up a hologram of Lance’s scan, “The temporal lobe.” 

“Isn't the temporal lobe in charge of smell, language and-?” Hunk joined in on the genius talk.

“Hearing. Yep, the primary purpose of the temporal lobe is auditory functions. And when I looked at the scan again, I found not one, but two signals.”

Lance’s eyes widened.

“What? What’s the second one for?”

“That’s what I was thinking. One signal is outgoing,-”

“The tracker obviously,” 

Pidge hummed in agreement, “But the second signal has an internal destination.”

“Huh?”

“Precisely. Hunk, you’re the resident expert engineer, what does the design of this chip tell you?” Pidge passed the hologram to him.

“Well, first of all, the chip is attached mostly to the right temporal lobe, but these wires also connect it to the left lobe and to the hypothalamus, but connection to both temporal lobes would only be necessary to create an equal simulation across both auditory cortexes and Oh my gosh!” 

“Okay, that was a lot of science-tech words that I did not understand.” Keith pushed off the wall to move closer to the group.

“It means that the ingoing signal from the chip is trying to broadcast a false sound directly to Lance’s auditory senses,-”

“Which are controlled within the temporal lobes,” It was almost creepy how Pidge and Hunk talked so much in sync.

“It’s trying to broadcast, but it’s failing because the chip is malfunctioning. Otherwise, Lance would be hearing a high-pitched noise most or all of the time,” 

“It’s like it’s trying to cause constant tinnitus. We don’t know why yet, but the most important thing is we can exploit this malfunction to remove it.”

“Okay!” Shiro moved towards the tech pair to break them up, “One of you, talk. The other, please don't. My neck is starting to hurt from looking back and forth between you two nerds.”

“You say that like you’re not a nerd yourself, Shiro.” Shiro glared at Pidge to silence her.

“Ugh, fine. All yours, Pidge.” Hunk handed Pidge the hologram and leaned back against the counter to grumpily eat one of his pastries off the tray.

“If the chip’s not working properly, that may mean the Druids were unable to completely evaluate the human neurological system.” She zoomed out a bit to show the whole head scan, “Since the human brain is so complicated and everything is connected to everything else, this malfunction in the chip is probably rooted in its attachment and implementation. Which also creates a higher possibility of being able to get rid of the tracker without horrible brain surgery.” 

Pidge looked at the team, “And I don't think any of us are qualified to even attempt brain surgery. Eh, maybe Coran could,” Coran smiled and posed at the attention, “So the better option would be to be able to hack into the external signal and shut it down remotely, which would limit the risk of brain damage and would-”

“It won't work.” Lance’s voice was quiet, though the small declaration quickly got everyone’s attention and they turned to him. He stood at the end of the counter, staring down at his hands.

“Yes, it will. I’ll make it work.” Pidge growled back from the other end.

“No, it won't.”

“Goddamnit Lance!” Pidge slammed her tablet on the table, “Why won't you let us help you!? That’s all we’re trying to do! You’ve barely even come out of your room, except to try to sneak out in the middle of the night! And you won't tell us anything that happened! So if the only way I can help is to get rid of this stupid chip, then I’m going to do that!”

“I won't work,” Lance paused and looked up, “because the chip isn’t malfunctioning.”

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks.

“So you’ve been hearing-”

“See my hand right now?” Lance held his hand out over the countertop.

“Lance, what the hell does that have to do with-?”

“My hand is completely steady right now. And do you want to know why?” Lance clenched his hand into a fist, “It’s steady because I goaded Shiro into fighting with me.”

“What?” The team looked at Shiro, but he only stared at Lance, who refused to meet his eyes. Lance pulled his hand back to his side.

“Why would you-” Shiro’s voice was filled with betrayal.

“Because you guys obviously wanted me to stay and doing hundreds of sit-ups in my room wasn’t working!” Lance yelled, “I do hear that ringing. I hear that ringing constantly, everyday, all the time, except-” Lance raked his hand through his hair roughly, “Except when I fight.” He looked down in.. shame? 

Pidge and Hunk made worried eye contact but kept their mouths shut.

“When I fight, my head is finally clear. And I can think. And do things and feel and be myself, and then it comes back.” He looked up at the ceiling with a pained fake-smile then glanced at the team with hard eyes “And it always comes back.”

“I’ve tried everything to get rid of it. I tried meditating, breathing techniques, exercising, ignoring it, distractions; I even tried to drown out the sound myself! Short of slamming my head against a brick wall till my skull cracks, I don't know what else to do! I can’t even sleep unless I pass out from exhaustion! So yes!” Lance’s voice suddenly dropped, “Yes, I chose to fight. I chose it then and I chose it now. I chose the one solution I’ve found that works. And it works one hundred percent of the time.”

“But why me? You know I struggle fighting one on one without flashbacks.” Shiro sounded even more hurt.

“Partially because I was angry at you. Partially because you were there. Mostly,” he paused, “because I needed to feel like myself again. I needed to be able to hear myself think. And I wasn’t lying, I needed to know you’d be able to handle me if I went off the rails,”

“But?”

“But… I also knew I was going to go off the rails on purpose.” Lance finally tried to look Shiro in the eye, “Shiro, I-”

“Don't Lance. Not right now.” Shiro pushed past them and left the room.

Lance looked at the group. Pidge and Hunk looked somewhere between shocked and upset, Coran looked disappointed and sad, Allura looked appalled and Keith looked…

“How dare you!?” Keith threw his fist at Lance. He let the punch hit him and knock him to the ground.

“Keith,” the others moved to stop him but didn’t get close.

 “You of all people should know!” Keith yelled again before leaving to go after Shiro.

“Lance…” 

“No, it’s alright. I think I probably deserved that.” Lance wiped blood away from his nose as he got up. He looked at it on his hand for a second, “Hell, I definitely deserved more than that; but, uh, I think we should finish this some other time. Yeah?” 

Lance turned his back to them and left as well. He followed down the same hallway as Keith and Shiro.

He stopped behind a corner when he heard their voices in the hallway.

“Shiro, are you okay?”

“No! What he did wasn’t okay!” Lance flinched a bit at the sound of a metal fist hitting the wall.

“I know and you have the right to be angry at him right now.”

“Damn right I do. And I know that... it’s just, yeah, I’m angry at him for lying to me like that. Especially about something like this, but I’m also angry at myself,”

“You shouldn’t be, he’s the one that pushed you even though he knew.”

“You didn’t hear him earlier, Keith.”

“In the kitchen, yeah I-”

“No, before that, when he asked me to train with him. Looking back, he sounded almost...,” Shiro paused, “Desperate.”

“What do you mean?”

He means addicted. Lance ignored his thoughts and stayed quiet against the wall.

“I mean, at first, when he asked me I said no. And then he started saying all this stuff he was worried about and I thought, if I can give him this one thing, maybe he’ll keep talking like this. Maybe he’ll end up better than I did. Maybe I can fix this. But he knew I’d give him what he wanted. He was just trying to use me Keith! How do I react to that!?”

“I don’t really think there’s any way you could have expected him to do this.”

“But that’s the thing, Keith. I should’ve. I should’ve expected it, I should’ve known. Just like when I got him captured, I wasn’t thinking about him, I was thinking about me. Again! I should’ve been able to tell this time. ”

“No, Shiro. The only way this could’ve been avoided is if he had told us about the ringing. This is on him. Not you.”

“No, it’s my responsibility-”

“Keith is right, y’know.” Lance finally turned around the corner to meet them. Keith’s face instantly went from gentle to furious again. “As much as I hate to say it, Keith is right, I should’ve told you guys.”

“I swear to God, Lance, are you looking to get punched again?”

“No the first time was enough, thank you.”

“Wait, Keith, you punched him?” Shiro glanced at his brother.

“Well, yeah, it didn’t look like you were going to. So why didn’t you tell us, Lance? I get we’re all having ‘hindsight is 20/20’ moments but something like that is kind of important.”

“I didn’t say anything because I thought it was just me.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t know it was the chip and I didn’t know why I suddenly felt the need to fight all the time. Why I was such a horrible person to be addicted to something as horrible as the Arena. I thought this was my punishment, for doing everything I did to get through the Arena. I was-,” Lance swallowed and looked away, “I was ashamed.”

Lance’s mind still told him he should be ashamed. That it was his punishment and he would never-.

“Why the hell would you be ashamed for surviving in-” Keith started out angrily, but Shiro cut him off.

“Because you felt like a monster.” 

Lance’s head snapped back up to look at Shiro in surprise before glancing back down again. 

Shiro pushed past Keith to approach Lance. “You felt like a monster because you thought you were addicted to enjoying the fights.” Shiro said it like a realization, like he was finally recognizing something.

“How do you-?”

“Like you said earlier, Lance; I have a bit of experience with guilt complexes and carrying the weight of the world on my back.” Shiro set his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Lance said with mock indignation, “I came here to apologize to you, not the other way around.” Lance half-heartedly pulled away from Shiro’s hand, “I am sorry by the way. I shouldn’t have done that to you. No matter the circumstances.”

“I can’t say I forgive you just yet, but at the very least, I understand.” 

“That’s all I can ask for Shiro.”

“Hey! I’m still mad at you!” Keith yelled from behind Shiro.

“I wouldn't expect anything less, Samurai!” Lance yelled back.

“Ugh. Come on Keith, I’m taking you away before you can hit him again.” Shiro was already dragging Keith down the hallway towards his room.

Lance briefly listened to the muffled arguments of ‘but he deserved it!’ and ‘that doesn’t mean you can hit our teammates for me.’ He gave a small smile.

He looked down at the slight tremble in his hands before shoving his fist roughly into the pocket of his jacket. A problem for another day.

Next Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/618602039029760000/chips-salsa-chp-5

First Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/613092735756402688/chips-and-salsa-chp-1