#guys I know we've all had this universal experience

[doodle-do-wop]

What the Elvin equivalent of your dad yelling at you about math homework over the kitchen table for Foxfire?

[orchidbreezefc]

ok. years have passed and we've had some distance, so i'm finally gonna take the leap of faith that tma fandom is finally ready to hear me on this. let's talk about tannins.

161 was the first tma episode i heard on early release, and i felt the bit where martin declines wine and cites tannins was pretty obvious in its implications. cool, got it, say no more.

imagine my surprise when i was one of maybe three people i saw read between the lines there, in a fandom famous for red stringing--a fandom that immediately caught the much less obvious thread of ignition sources in the same episode. i'll spell it out: alcohol is an issue for martin.

maybe it just felt obvious because addiction is a pet issue for me--as it is for jonny, who has said everything he writes is filtered through a lens of addiction. i don't know if that's due to his own experience or a loved one's, and i won't speculate; i also don't know if martin personally struggled with drinking or just avoids it for fear he would, but alcohol would fit what we know of his family. his dad walking out and his mum spiralling into bitter wallowing and verbal abuse? i'd bet one or both of them drank, yeah.

on a basic level martin tries to decline alcohol, and that alone should have raised eyebrows given what we know of martin and, again, a fandom that dissects everything. we already knew martin "K" blackwood lied about his personal life and his family in particular, especially pre-canon, which is when this flashback took place. i was shocked that everyone took his flimsy excuse at face value with no further questions.

and the excuse is flimsy. martin turns down wine by--nervously--exclaiming tannins are "a proven headache trigger!" which sounds like trivia from a magazine cover and not the words of someone who actually has headaches--and it hasn't come up before or since. jon, confused, points out that tea, a drink martin consumes to a degree that is memetic both in- and out-of-universe, also contains tannins, and martin squawks a panicked, "what?!"

if tannins are enough of a concern for martin that he knew they're in wine and so avoids it, why didn't he know they're in his drink of choice? why does he still drink tea at the time of canon, and why doesn't he struggle with constant headaches from consuming 'a proven headache trigger' day in and day out? why, indeed, would someone avoid wine and not tea?

when sasha insists martin drink he caves and agrees to 'just a drop'. i imagine him pouring it in a plant, which admittedly he could have done if tannins really were the issue. i will say that i, for one, would be less likely to falsely agree to something that makes me physically ill than to a private issue that i'd rather not be pressed on any further. this scene also establishes martin's birthday was an ice cream party instead of the more traditional visit to a pub.

also, this scene was in the first episode of the final season, as one of three flashbacks that could have been to any pre-canon event in the archives. prime narrative real estate. not really time one would waste on establishing the important character context that martin has... headaches. which never comes up before or after, even regarding the week he spent in spiral town. but you know what is pretty crucial character background...?

it felt like a no-brainer, and yet all i saw was h/c fluff about jon attending to martin's headaches. and i hate feeling bitter about disability representation. i want folks with chronic headaches to feel seen and have fluffy escapist fantasies. i don't want to be mad about people portraying a character with a disability. but, guys? you got the wrong disability. jonny sent a clear message, and it went over fandom's head.

[nonotnolan]

Jock Cock, Part 2

Check out Part 1 here.

"Excuse me, Professor Jones?" I wasn't expecting to be recognized out in public, but I did live in town, and it wasn't unheard of for a few of my more friendly students to engage in small talk if they happened to see me out grocery shopping or what have you. I'm usually too introverted to develop deep bonds with students, especially over a trivial intro course, but some people just want to be social.

"Please, just Mr. Jones. Or Kevin. I'm a teaching assistant, not a… Jared?" I certainly wasn't expecting a member of the basketball team greeting me out in public. "Do I… I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting to be recognized. I don't think you've ever been enrolled in one of my classes?"

He smiled at me, letting his bags drop to the ground. "Well, we've crossed paths before, I just didn't make much of an impression on you. I don't take it personally, I was a pretty non-descript guy." The thought of Jared ever blending into a crowd was… ridiculous, to say the least. My skepticism must have shown up on my face, because he started laughing at me. "The real me, not Jared. I'm the same guy who swapped with Adam last month."

I could feel the heat radiating from my cheeks as I recalled that night. He dumped three different loads in my ass once he was no longer my student. It was one of the most risky hookups I have ever had, but that made it all the more exciting. Especially since the man inside of Adam's body clearly had experience. Most guys with a fuck stick over seven inches were terrible in bed, but he was diligent about both foreplay and aftercare. Snuggling against a tight chest of rippling muscles, breathing deeply the manly aroma of his musky pits, gazing deeply into his eyes as his fingers ran through my hair… I didn't even realize I was daydreaming until I felt the strain of my cock against my boxer briefs.

"You wanna do it again?" he said, whispering softly. "Jared hired me to take care of Summer School exams for him. I've still got two more days inside of this body, and I'd love to see you again. That razor sharp mind of yours is just… the fucking sexiest thing about you, Kev. I want to be near you, I want to pull you in close and hold you tight." The stranger's hand slid down to his crotch and cupped his junk. "And I want to rail you with this jock cock until you scream."

I started to fidget with my suit jacket. "Jared... Adam... whoever it is that you are... look, it was risky enough when you were in the body of someone who graduated. Jared is... what, a junior? He's barely 21. And he's still a student"

"But he's not your student," countered the stranger. "I looked up the university policy. It only matters if there is a conflict of interest, like student and teacher. And age means nothing as long as the body is legal, which it is. Besides, you're... what, mid 30s? A bit older? That's nothing for hookup culture."

As always, the man had a point. Was he always this confident, or was that a side effect of wearing a jock's skin? "I mean, you're right, I just... I'm not a big fan of hookup culture. I know we had that night when you were Adam, but... I'd much rather go on a date and get to know you first. And I can't help but feel guilty that these athletes don't know you're having sex in their bodies, so that plus the hookup guilt is... it's a bit much for me. I really should say no. It's not personal."

Jared, the man inside of Jared, just smiled at me. "I don't know what sort of operation you think I'm running, but I make them all sign contracts that outline everything I'm allowed to do while I'm inside in their body, sex included. So if you don't want a hookup, I guess I'll just have to hang out a bit before we fuck. Why don't you come back to my place? We can hang out at the pool before we head upstairs."

"Pretty nice apartment complex, right? Jared's parents are loaded." He smiled at me as I glanced around the property. I knew the buildings in this part of town were incredibly expensive, but I didn't realize just how extravagant they were.

My eyes were drawn to the water droplets running down his muscular pecs. "Well, honestly, I assumed it was due to his status as a star athlete," I said, trying to keep my eyes focused on his face.

He shook his head. "Nah, they barely get paid anything, and the regulations around it are pretty bullshit. The scholarships cover the classes, but anything else is a crapshoot. Most of the athletes I hop into, I have them pay me by giving me extra time in their body. I don't think I could ever develop all this," he gestured at his chest for emphasis, "on my own. Being a jock is a lot of hard work and dedication, but borrowing it? Much easier. I love being able to borrow bodies like this, and doing their schoolwork is a breeze. It's a pretty sweet gig for someone like me."

"It sounds like you're being a bit hard on yourself, Mr...?"

The man in Jared's body shrugged. "Call me Mike, if you want. Or you can call me Fuck. That's what you'll be screaming later, when I'm balls deep in that ass of yours." It was one of the dumbest lines I'd heard, but the delivery was aided by the absolute stud who said it. "Come on, let's head upstairs. If you want a date, we can have coffee between rounds."

"You are going to be the death of me," I said, panting for breath. I could feel the sweat dripping down my thighs-- among other fluids, given that I'd already taken two loads from Mike's current body. I was falling for him, hard. "Okay, I have to be awkward. You clearly have a crush on me if you're trying to find me when you're in these hot bodies. But if you're not going to let me return the favor… where do you see this going?"

He just started laughing. "Why does it have to go anywhere? We're just two gay guys enjoying a series of casual hookups. It happens all the time."

I rolled off of the mattress and walked over to where I had tossed off most of my clothes. "Because I want it to go somewhere, Jar-- Mike. I don't want to have a series of casual hookups. I know a lot of guys are fine with that sort of culture, but… I'm not. I need more than this."

"Whoa, hey…" He came up behind me and pulled me close, and I could feel the warmth of his body. "Kevin. My guy. You don't even know what I look like. Are you in love with me, the idea of me, or the jock cock that I can provide to you?" He started grinding his growing erection against my bare ass for emphasis-- God, of course Jared's body was already prepared for round three. "I promise you, a relationship will never live up to your dreams. Don't ruin a good thing by trying to get even more. Just sit back and enjoy the dick, for as long as I can supply it."

I brushed his arm off my shoulder and stepped further away. "I can't… Mike, I'm not going to settle for 'good enough' in matters of love. And if that means ruining a good thing to chase what I want… what I need? That's what I'm going to do." I kept waiting for him to say something as I started getting dressed, but he just stared at me with his arms crossed.

He followed me out of the apartment, though he remained silent as he walked behind me. I guess he thought I would realize that his dick was too good to leave, and he had been right all along? I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. We were both too stubborn to admit defeat.

"I'll… see you around in some other college stud, I guess."

Check out Part 3 here.

[atimeofyourlife]

A group thing?

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: no upside down au | rated: t | wc: 944 | tags: no upside down au, pre-steddie, steve x corroded coffin Steve gets a job in a record store in Chicago, and a familiar group of guys come in looking for a place for their band to play. Who knows where it could go

Getting out of Hawkins was the best thing that had ever happened to Steve. The plan had been cemented between him and Robin when they started working at Family Video after the freak fire at Starcourt, the result of an electrical fault caused by the cut corners and corrupt construction. They were both going to work as many hours as possible at Family Video, so they could save up ready to move away after Robin graduated high school, with Steve planning to follow her to wherever she went to college.

The plan led them to Chicago, with Robin getting accepted to study linguistics at the University of Chicago. They found a small, relatively affordable two bed apartment, and did everything they could to make it theirs. While Robin worked on her degree, Steve found work at an independent record store. Even though it was still retail, he found it much better than working at Family Video and Scoops Ahoy had been. There was no uniform, the manager was pretty chill, and employees could choose anything from stock to play over the store's sound system. Steve did tend to play a lot of Queen when it was his turn to pick, but he was learning a lot about other genres from his coworkers' tastes in music.

But Steve's favorite part of the job was the live music. There was a small stage area that local bands could book and come in and play for free, in a chance to get more experience playing. Some of them weren't the best, but some of them were amazing. It was something that made it feel less like work. Some bands were pretty regular, and Steve was starting to form a real friendship with some of them.

"Hi, how can I help?" Steve asked as he came back to the counter from the stock room where he'd been processing a delivery with his coworker. There were a group of guys all waiting around, so he assumed that they were a band wanting to get a play spot. There was something familiar about them, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what.

"Er, hi. We've just moved to the area, and a buddy of ours told us you let bands play here for free." The guy at the front with long hair said, seeming to be the leader.

"Yeah, we do that. Just give me a moment." Steve ducked down to grab the folder from under the counter. "So the boss is the one who makes the final decisions on all the bands, so I'll just need to take your details, and she'll call you back to arrange everything. And I can give you the information sheet with everything you need to know."

The band took the sheet, and murmured a little amongst themselves.

"Okay, so if I can start with the band name?" Steve asked, pulling out a sign up sheet.

"Corroded Coffin." One of them replied.

Steve wrote it down, and tried to make conversation as he did. "You said you guys just moved here? Where'd you come from?"

"This shitty, small town in Indiana. You've probably never heard of it."

"Uh huh. And a phone number we can contact you on?"

The number got rattled off for Steve to note down.

"That sounds a lot like where I'm from. You wouldn't be from Hawkins, would you?"

"Yeah, we are."

"I thought you guys seemed familiar. We probably went to high school together." Steve said. "And your names?"

Each said their names as Steve wrote them down. The last one, who had seemed to be the leader, "Eddie Munson."

Steve looked down at the sheet, before looking up at Eddie. "You used to sell, right? At a picnic bench in the woods behind the school."

"You used to buy? Then do we get your name, big boy." Eddie asked, leaning on the counter.

"Steve. Harrington." Steve replied, watching hesitantly as they all seemed surprised.

"King Steve, what brings you to working in a place like this?"

"Trying to make rent. My parents cut me off after I graduated, and I'm pretty sure it would be a total disownment if they knew half the shit I got up to now. So me and my best friend moved up here after she graduated. She's in college and I'm making sure we can afford our shitty two bedroom apartment."

"Now I want to know what you get up to." One of the others said, Steve was pretty sure he'd said his name was Gareth.

"Let's just say I know what the bandanna in Munson's back pocket stands for." Steve winked as he said it, and couldn't help laughing as they all spluttered slightly. "I've got all the information I need, and I'll make sure to put in a good word with the boss for you."

Steve was working when Corroded Coffin were playing at the store for the first time. He was on hand to help them get set up and make sure everything went smoothly.

"I think that's everything, you guys can start playing when you're ready, and I'll let you know when your time is nearly up. Do you need anything else?"

"How about a kiss for good luck?" Eddie asked.

Steve smiled before pulling Eddie in by the shirt and kissing him deeply.

"Hey, what about the rest of us?" Gareth called from behind his drum kit.

Steve just shrugged, before going around and kissing each of them softly on the lips.

He made his way back behind the counter, looking forward to what could come between him and the band. Friendship, or maybe even something more.

[iz1331]

Gonna have to rewatch Beetlejuice and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice back to back to compose a list of "movie canon" that were deemed not brought back/continued in the sequel.

For example: Like how the sequel "disregarded" the fact that only those who "died of suicide can become civil servants in the afterlife".

NO ONE CONFIRMED THAT! It was just a throw away line by Otho, WHO WAS A FRAUD AND KNEW LITTLE TO NONE OF THE SUPERNATURAL!

The sequel even subtly corrected that misconception. Not everyone in the Civil Service in the Afterlife died of suicide, several were wrongly assigned that cause of death.

Miss Argentina was the only significant character that had an accident in Beetlejuice that we've seen who works as a civil servant. And maybe the flattened guy, but not sure if that was an accident or not. He looked quite jovial for a flattened guy.

Case in point: we have Wolf Jackson, and he certainly didn't die of suicide, yet he works as a self-proclaimed cop and runs the whole police joint there.

The earlier scrapped concept of Betelgeuse hanging himself was just that. An idea/concept of how he died. They never used that in the film, thus it's not canon. It's considered fanon in the fandom cause it's been more than 30 years of no solid confirmation of a sequel and we were hungry for any scrap of Beetlejuice material that we can consume and use as inspiration for art and stories to feed ourselves over the years until news of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was announced and got released.

The sequel answered some questions and gave us new content to work with. For both the characters and about the Netherworld/Afterlife in the Beetlejuice universe.

I'm all for creative liberty and freedom, make a canon divergent or write an Alternative Universe of it all, but don't just shit on the sequel and say that it's an "elaborate fanfiction" like the screenplay writers didn't put a lot of thought in it that even Tim Burton, Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, and Catherine O'Hara finally, after DECADES of turning down script after script, found THIS story for the sequel to have the most potential and having the right tone as a follow up for the movie that meant so much to all of them.

Everyone who worked behind the scenes in creating the film from props, set location and design, puppetry, stop-motion, costume, stunt people, make-up, lights, sound, extras, production, marketing, EVERYONE put a lot of effort and passion and did AMAZING work on this project. I'm still amazed by every large and miniscule details I discover every time I rewatch it.

Was the story of the legacy sequel perfect?

Of course not.

No sequel ever is. Someone will always find something to complain about and that's just how things work in this industry, in this world.

But, was it fun? Was it both new, and brought the same feel from the original? Did the actors brought to life the characters we've loved for more than three decades and counting? Did it introduce new characters that fit the ensemble and had the same eccentric aura of the Beetlejuice world? Was it a relief that the story didn't just end 30 years ago?

Yes, it did. For me. I loved it. It's not perfect, but for someone like me who's a bit of a perfectionist on my works, and then finding the imperfections actually making the finished product better than I expected, it means a lot.

And for what it's worth, at least the time and love and the littlest of delusion I invested for Beetlebabes actually had something to show for. A one-sided romance it may be, at least I now know that Betelgeuse isn't harboring any lasting ill will towards Lydia for all these years.

That Tim also saw it that way. That Michael and Winona were open to this dynamic and relationship between the two characters/roles that they love and cherished to play.

Also, people change. No one stays the same. Life throws curve balls at us, and yes, to FICTIONAL characters as well. People mellow with age. One person or experience can change someone, even when they've been dead for 600 years.

[lovelypastelsweets]

♡{Onychinus' Kitten:}♡[Part #4:]

Sylus Qin X female!Cat-Hybrid!Reader

{Notes:}

This is my first fan-fiction, if you have any tip/suggestions please let me know!In this story, the 'reader' is NOT the MC, and is female(I don't have an issue with males reading, but I don't know anything about guys, and I want to be authentic. If you'd like a male-reader fan-fic please collaborate with me to deepen my understanding of the male-mind)

{Trigger-warnings:}

This story will contain minor death(of random side characters), mention human-trafficking(not in-detail), the experimentation of humans-subjects, mentions past-trauma that includes sexual-abuse(Non-descriptive. Shouldn't cause PTSD, but may likely cause that odd 'cold, dark, heavy-yet-hollow feeling' you get when something reminds you of your trauma) ALSO; The reader is described as having all limbs, having the ability to use all senses, and as having hair. I'm sorry if this is an issue, I'm trying to be as universal as possible, but if you'd like a specialized part, please message me.

Inside a small room; Sea-foam green tiles lining the walls- a camera on the corner of the left wall-, and a white tiled floor. Metal-enclosures with three solid-walls, and a doorway lined with thick bars that intercept both vertically and horizontally, are lined up in front of the right wall. Within each enclosure lies the blood-coverd bodies of humans with a verity of animal features; Crimson staining the white mattress and bedding each of them had, as the color spills onto the floor, and drips from the splattered walls.

Sylus look down at the unconscious girl in his arms; She was wearing a white T-shirt and baby-blue pants that look like those of a American-style nurse's outfit. On both of her wrist there were metal bracelet-like devices that he knew as EVOL-canceling mechanisms. She had messy bed-ridden hair, with fluffy cat-ears and a tail that matched the color of it.

Luke: "Boss! We've finished up!"

Kiren: "Yeah. How do we go about getting the money?"

Sylus looked up at the twins as they casually walked into the room. For a second, maybe two, the twins felt a sting in their hearts at the scene before them; The death of innocent people that were treated as lab-rats, whose wouldn't be morned over- the scene brought back memories.. Too many memories.

Sylus: "The money isn't a concern. The fools of this place and their "Clients" have been causing trouble for me recently. I decided that it was time to correct the issues."

The twins look at each other, sharing the same thought; "Is that really the reason he came here?"

Sylus: "Did either of you see a control-room on your way here? There are cameras. There must be a room where they can be monitored."

Luke: "Yeah, we saw one.."

Kiren: "What's up with the girl, boss?"

Luke: "I don't think she's dead."

Sylus "Go to the control-room and download any files stored there."

Sylus had no desire to answer the twins questions. And the boys were satisfied with being unanswered. After all, Sylus usually knew what he was doing- and if he didn't, his death would surely be entertaining to watch.

[Later that night:]

The hybrid-girl was still unconscious. Sylus had brought her to his mansion, placing her in a guest-room, then sent the twins out to buy her some more appropriate clothing. He sat on a back, velvet, sofa, holding and sipping from a glass of red wine, as he read the downloaded-files on the tablet that was in his other hand.

「Subject name: Y/N.

Hybrid Type: Feline.

Gender: Female.

Age: Y/A.

Height: Y/H.

Weight: Y/W.

EVOL Type: Matter-manipulation.」

「EVOL Explanation: This subject's EVOL allows her to dissolve physical matter, and recreate the object in any location.

Limitations: The subject can only manipulate matter that is known and can be visualize by the subject. The subject can only recreate matter into locations that are known and can be visualizd by the subject. Within 15-minutes of consistent use of EVOL, the subject will experience nausea. Within 30-minutes of consistent use of EVOL, the subject will begin to expell blood from mouth. Within 80-minutes of consistent use of EVOL, the subject will lose conousness.」

「Intake Information: This subject was obtained at the age of 5 from their mother. Further information is classified. Discharge Information: This subject is expected to be discharged within the next 6 months. Many clients have shown interest. A buyer has not been chosen as of the current time.」

「Information Regarding Combat Skills: Subject often preforms poorly during battle-simulations.

Strengths: Defensive position, Ambush-techniques.

Weaknesses: Lack of stamina, Unwillingness to harm the opponent, lacking the ability to adapt and react to offensive positions.

Notes: This subject commonly experiences lightheadeness, dizzyness, and lack of breath.」

「Incident Reports:

Date: Varying, Time: Varying. Age: 6-8:

Subject was a victim of "The Game Incident.

Date: (Date), Time: 13:03. Age: 10:

Subject caused the death of another subject during an attempt to use EVOL during battle-stimulation.」

There were quite a few issues with the information he just read,but he felt alarms in his head about a particular part; "The Game Incident"? He left her file, and searched the name; A new fileappears.

「The Game Incident is a series of accounts where a verity of staff members had conducted sexual activities with the subjects in their care. Security footage of these activities were being cut and edited, and furthermore being sold online.

All subjects stated the same claim of the belief that the activities were a game. All acting parties were removed from HYBE-CO and collectively agreed to stay anonymous.」

At this point Sylus wasn't sure what pissed him off more-

Luke: "Boss! We're back!"

"Flamboyant. As always." Sylus thought as he rose from his seat to meet the twins in the living room. Sylus was momentarily stunned the amount of things the twins bought. On the floor lied shopping bags full of girls' clothing, plushies, hair accessories, shoes, and some hygiene products. Perhaps giving them his card was a bad idea. Sylus grabbed a dress from one of the bags, holding in the air in query.

Luke: "What do you think, boss? Nice, right?"

Kiren nodded in agreement with his twin, both of them were dripping with confidence and pride.

Sylus: "You two are aware that she isn't a dress-up doll, correct?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke.

Kiren: "Well, we weren't really sure what to get, so we got a verity of stuff."

Luke: "Yeah! Plus, it'll be nice having a cute girl around here!"

Kiren: "Buying for a girl, is a lot like buying for a doll, isn't it?"

Sylus lets out an exasperated sigh. This is surely going to be interesting..

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 61 Deadbeat Posting

Hello, kind void. Let's get into it, shall we?

Bad TL of editor's notes:

First page: 交差する思��-!! [kouki suru omowaku-!!] Intersecting motives-!! Last page: 座村の娘, 一般社会に紛れて... [Samura no musume, ippan shakai ni magirete...] Samura's daughter, blending in with the general public...

What is Going On?!

So, uh... is there a Maury or Dr. Phil in the Kagurabachi universe? Wait, no, let's start with the best part of the chapter:

lmao

THANK YOU for this little breather. It's still not enough but seeing Chihiro get babied by his new ninja maids is fucking hilarious. They really do just swoop in and take care of whoever their charge is- no wonder Samura put his foot down early on with them. Would have been the perfect time to learn their names too, but Hokazono-sensei must have a deadly allergy to names in text boxes.

If we're gonna be spending quality time with these guys, shouldn't we know who they are though? This isn't a Bandana or Ice Lady scenario; they're sticking around for at least the rest of this Samura-specific mini arc and interacting with Chihiro directly. If it's commentary on how they see themselves as tools, that's one thing. But I think this is just more of the same stinginess from the author considering we got a different name drop at the end of the chapter. I guess we shouldn't expect to keep seeing them after a certain point? I swear, if we have to wait for more volume extras to get these guys' names despite spending a good chunk of an arc with them...

Prep those zombie AU fics/fan arts

Welp, there's no doubt about it now- Uruha's actual status is yet another dangling thread that will be followed up on eventually. Let's toss it on the pile with all the rest.

Got some interesting lore implications about how the Lifelong Contract with the bearer of the blade might affect their body too thanks to this. I'm honestly more interested in that bit of information than anything else from this scenario, since we are still lacking on a lot of particulars about the nature of entering a contract with these swords.

I'm not really mentally prepared for whatever's happening to Uruha himself; if he's alive, I will be mad that I got jebaited and call hax like the petty baby I am. If his corpse is being used in unethical experiments... I do love me some horror but I will be Very Sad and Upset that it happened to Uruha. He deserves some dignity after what Samura did to him. No matter what though, the Kamunabi are doing some dastardly shit in secret right now, so... hooray one more thing we have to sit tight and wait to learn about.

So... is the general public OK with giant owl eyes darkening the skies 24/7 all across Japan? Maybe we're not meant to think too hard about this and just accept that it's happening because it looks cool. It's fun to imagine Samura brooding on some rooftop, waiting to use Crow to teleport to the first Enchanted Blade signal he detects though. Just like a ping! ZOOP! murder time! kinda thing.

Questions about Chihiro's contract to Enten aside for now (like so many others), if he can't even draw the sword without summoning a raid boss then how is he going to fight? Not something I think we'll have to wait too long to see so I'm actually looking forward to the next set of action scenes to see how Chihiro defends himself (with the Masumi's help). I hope it comes with some lore about how the contract works too but that could also come from whatever's going on with Uruha so I won't be pinning all my hopes on Chihiro here. He's got enough burdens already- and is about to add one more by acting as a bodyguard to an unassuming high school girl.

Infinite Aura Loss

"Call up one of those trashy daytime talk shows ASAP."

So... rather than deal with the Samura problem with all the stuff we've got set up already, we get yet more complications by revealing that not only did Samura have a daughter, he had straight sex at least once. And was even married before becoming a divorcee deadbeat dad who "killed" his daughter instead of trying to work things out. Damn this guy has issues.

Three years ago is when the Kamunabi rounded up all the Bearers into the Shame Boxes (sanso) after Kunishige's death- maybe this was the turning point for Samura. Based on the wording it's not like Samura's the only one who had loved ones to consider; he just chose the nuclear option and asked his ninja maids to set his daughter free from him for some reason. Useless to speculate until we hear it from the man himself but damn. Cutting your child out of your life so completely that she forgets you exist (and vice-versa!) is a bit harsh isn't it? She's going to have some serious bullshit to deal with very soon. Way to do all the wrong things out of guilt buddy. Did you at least keep up with the child support payments?

Mutton Chops not having any qualms about using an innocent girl as a pawn to get to Samura speaks volumes about why Samura didn't want her involved though. This org is not getting any praise for doing the right thing when we finally learn about them.

I'm not sure I like this development but it gets put into the "wait and see" category like so many other things have at this point. Hokazono's delivered pretty consistently so far so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that there will be good payoffs for complicating things even further. Honestly? As long as this mini arc ends with more questions answered than asked, I'll be content.

Look, typical shounen fanservice! Kind of!

But of course we got a shitton of new questions about how this masking sorcery works, how they're gonna find her if no one can recognise her as Samura's child, what else the Kamunabi might have done with these powers at their disposal, if the Masumi did this on the down-low or if the Kamunabi also knew, and why the heck does Ms. Masumi have so many different types of sorcery she can do anyway? Transport, technique recovery, now hiding identities! I gotta learn why these ninjas can do so many things that seem to contradict the established rule of "one sorcery per person unless you're special enough to have two". Are the Masumi our gateway into learning about sorcery applications beyond one's innate abilities, such as channeling spirit energy into special objects designed for a purpose like the barriers Shiba configured to protect the Rokuhiras? Or is Ms. Masumi's ability something along the lines of being able to manipulate ink/inscriptions to invoke different effects? I'm going crazy...

I think I'll have an easier time if I just sit back and accept that a lot of things are going to happen because of the cool factor instead of any deep logic. It's not fair to the author, I know, but it's the only way I can keep my sanity right now. I'll be really happy if the doubts get shoved back in my face though.

War Orphan Society?

We didn't need to meet you guys yet either!

Hiruhiko's recovering offscreen so we get different folks collected by John for the Hishaku's PoV this time. Wonder how long they'll stick around before they get murked.

Kuguri (久々李) is the only name we got this chapter. 久 (ku) means ancient, a long time, or to remain unchanged. The intentions could be conveying a long and happy life, patience/perseverance, or just a name that will never sound out-of-date. 李 (ri) means plum tree, judge, official, or jailer for resilience/strength or justice and fairness (々 is just a kanji repetition marker). I'll go with [ancient plum tree] because it's cool! But obviously I'm not at all trustworthy on this so it's best to be sceptical.

We don't know the girl's name yet, but she's definitely a tomboy of some kind since she uses the male personal pronoun 僕 [boku]. I think she's actually the first one to use it in the whole series since most of the guys use 俺 (ore)- even Mr. Inazuma. The only exception I caught skimming through to check was Kyora (he used 私 [watashi], the polite pronoun for all genders). At any rate, hooray two more Hishaku members... we only have one or two left to reveal from the core group now. John Hiruhiko Kuguri Hatshaku Jane Samurai Worst Jeanist Tomboy (maybe) shadowy guy in the crazy subspace from ch. 7 ???

Another week of new Hishaku info, another week of waiting for the big Seitei War lore drops. I jokingly referred to this section with war orphans, but what if they really are? The Hishaku have deep resentment of some kind towards the Kamunabi -the government itself- and seem to be on hard times based on the state of their hideout. A lot of the members we've met seem young and disaffected too. Seems like more evidence they were on the side that lost the war to me.

Wonder how Kuguri knew Sojo and what exactly he admired about the greaseball. ...And which Bearer's blade he's got one-sided love for. My bets are on the Girl bearer but it could well be Sushi Chef or Samura too because this series loves to have men profess their deep love for other men.

I consider meeting Sushi Chef and Girl Bearer to be resolutions to a question instead of further complications because we've been waiting for information about them since they were teased in chapter 18. At the very least I want to know their names so I don't have to keep calling them Sushi Chef and Girl, y'know? Sushi Chef is probably the one we will meet next since he was conspicuously brought up last chapter... we'll see! Again! Hopefully soon.

Oh but speaking of Hiruhiko:

Look at this unhappy frog man.

Just keeping an eye out if he gets his Hishaku tattoo back or not for now...

One chapter left before the end-of-the-year magazine break, dear void; hopefully it won't leave us on a massive cliffhanger. I'm staying in it but man I would like more answers to come soon. I'm going numb from all the over-stimulation now. May this arc answer a bunch of questions before introducing many more, please and thank you, amen.

[aurorangen]

Renee and Charlie were talking about Strangerville when a woman came over and introduced herself as Sergeant Dar'leen Neilsen (by @bloomingkyras). They talked about the disappearances to her and Dar'leen gave some useful insight into both cases, particularly about her experience with Strangerville and its dangers.

Transcript & Bonus:

Just don't let the police know.

...

Dar'leen: Excuse me, but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation about Strangerville. I'm Sergeant Dar'leen Neilsen, but you can call me Dar'leen. You two sound really worried…can I be of any help? Renee: Oh Sergeant! I'm Renee and this is my cousin Charlie. We've got a difficult situation right now.

[The two explain everything. First about the the disappearance of Vincent then about Veronica's letter] Dar'leen: You're right. You should find out if he's with relatives, if not I would report him as missing immediately. Report him to San Myshuno investigation department, Detective Reichmann's team is best at handling it.

Charlie: Yeah we should tell my Dad about this. We're all really worried at this point. Dar'leen: Ah I see! You are his family, you two do look alike! I was at a conference with him earlier. Charlie: My Dad is really busy now isn't he? [Dar'leen nods her head while reading the letter]

Dar'leen: From reading your letter [sighs] Strangerville. It's not a good place. You see I am from Oasis Springs, the only town closest to Strangerville, a few hundred miles [thinking back]. So I was part of this case and we travelled close to Strangerville. The town had a surrounding border, with lots of military personnel…

Dar'leen: They were strange people and all armed with weapons. By all means, they block anyone from entering, researchers, reporters, outsiders. Since no one is allowed in, there's not much information about Strangerville online, or from any outside sources. No photos, articles. It's all a secret really.

Dar'leen: Hmm and your friend here seems like she has business to take care of. I'd advise you to not get involved, Strangerville is too dangerous for everyone. No one really knows what's happening there. Renee: That's true. I'm just hoping it won't take too long and she'll come back…ask her about it then.

[They take their minds off things for a bit. Dar'leen talks about her daughter and Britechester University] Renee: Actually I'm heading back to campus very soon! I could show you guys around! Dar'leen: Unfortunately I won't be able to make it, that would help her out a lot. Thank you Renee!

…

?: [the other end of the line] Do you hear me? We cannot let the fucking police get involved in any of this! They'll find him and then-…arghhh! What's your plan now then eh? [adamantly] Just don't let the police know.

[changingplumbob]

Shay McClain - Hopeful Bachelorette

Entry for Mad About Dodo by @akitasimblr

Tell us a bit about yourself. What do you do to keep busy? How would your friends describe you?

Okay, well, hi, I'm Shay. I never really fit in at school so after graduation while all my classmates headed to university I wanted something different. I've always liked making stuff so I was looking at getting into carpentry and then one of my dads had the best idea. They both know I love adventure and exploring so they suggested I travel and volunteer with organizations like Habitat for Humanity. I do a bit of carpentry when I'm home to keep the funds up. But yeah I travel the world getting to see cool places, surfing and mountain climbing, and putting my hands to good use making homes for people. Most of my friends are people I've met through that and they'd probably say I'm confident, my dads would probably say over confident, have a passion for making things, especially out of junk but in my defense people throw a lot away too quickly, and... just... a lust for life. But have you looked around? There's beauty in everything.

And why have you applied for Mad About Dodo?

My dad's are worried I'll die alone so have been trying to sort out a way for me to meet people, of course they can't exactly organize a blind date for me when we're in different continents. Don't get me wrong, I would like love in my life, it's kind of the piece that's missing you know. Anyway they sent me the entry details and I have to admit, Dodo is cute. Not that I would just apply because of an attractive person but I was reading about how he's tried other challenges before and I admire his perseverance to keep trying. That's what we have to do at the job sites. So if he's looking for someone to sweep him off his feet I'll do my best.

What do you think of your outfits?

I'm happy they're not just draping us in leaves and calling it a day. I think we've managed to pull together some stuff that'll fit in on an island. But why did we do a cold weather outfit? Aren't islands warm?

How do you see yourself getting on with other competitors?

I've honestly no idea. But I can tell you right now they better keep their pranks away from me. Seriously, a joke that's made at the expense of someone else isn't a joke. Learn how to be funny without punching down.

If you're the kind of person that can spot the good things in life I think we'll get on. I do hate small talk though, let's get to the good juicy stuff! Life's too short to be commenting on the weather constantly.

Tell us about some of your likes and dislikes

Well like I said I really like making stuff. I enjoy fabricating but my favourite is when I can carve stuff like sculptures or furniture. I'm also big into fitness, I like to keep myself in shape. I like yoga to even if I can't balance right half the time.

Dislikes... juice fizzing. I'm not going to go into detail but I had a bad experience. Mischief obviously, I'll crack jokes anytime you like but don't expect me to tie you to a voodoo doll. Programming is also something I just find boring as well as research, so it really is best that I didn't go to university.

What are you looking forward to?

Getting to know Dodo. Hopefully he can be more than a friend. I'm also looking forward to testing out my survival skills. I think they're pretty good with the work I've done but you never know until you're in the situation I guess. But yeah, mainly getting to see if this guy is the one for me, if I can be the one for him.

What are you dreading?

Sunburn! And walking around not realizing I've been pooped on by a bird.

I know most people would probably say lack of bedding and plumbing but I've gone without them before, I can handle going without them again.

Do you have a message for Dodo?

Hey Dodo, if you want someone who can work wonders with their hands I'm here *laughs* No, I'm kidding, please don't tell him I said that. Umm... Hi Dodo, I'm looking forward to building this next part of my life with you in it. See you on the island!

Download SFS

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ADVICE FROM YOUR SPIRIT TEAM ; ANGEL NUMBER EDITION: CONGRATULATIONS.

Feeling inspired. Wanted to get an intuitive read for you guys who feel the urgency to know what it means to see these numbers.

Whichever numbers call out to you just embrace the message. It's time to feel good about ourselves and our spirit guides wants everyone to know that we've been doing the best we can. So here is my intuitive message for the collective. I hope you enjoy!

111 - Congratulations. You've made it passed a big chapter. In this new era, you'll be focused on prosperity, great health and great sex! Lol, jk on the sex bit. However, you will be going through growth and transformation during this next era. You'll have to choose between your priorities and what used to work in the past. Is it goals or partying? Will it be the booze or will it be the vegetables ? You decide.

Have fun with this new journey. You don't always have to go out and have fun. You can have fun journaling, making that garden, enjoying the moon when it comes out in full bloom. Spread your wings this time.

222 - You've made it. This is a time to join new groups and go to those events you've been telling yourself you'd go too. New friends, partnerships and breaking of generational curses is a theme for this group. Be patient, be yourself, be honest, and be vulnerable.

For anyone this may apply to, trying a new sport such as basketball, football, or even hockey will bring out that motivated spirit you carry.

You've made this beautiful bed, you'll get to lie in it this time with someone you can truly adore ;)

333 - Benefits for the ones who chose this number is celebration will be often for you. You'll be out with groups cheering away does mimomas. Having more fun with new people. New experiences awaits. Traveling will be certain for you in the future. Road trips, trips near the beach, boat rides are something i noticed for this group. Congrats!

444 - Determination & Exploring. This is your moment. You should embrace the new physical activities awaiting you. I dont mean just working out, or trying some new sport that could possibly break your ankle. This could be for the ones who never go outside, and have been hiding all these amazing talents in the dark. Its time to break wind and show people you have a gift. Its your time.

555 - Travel. Explore. Motion Picture. Success - You might have to go overseas if you chose this number. Maybe not a new country but a new city far from your hometown. Read more books, enjoy the scenery and explore the universe. This is your moment. Get to it!

666 - Sensual beauty. Luxury. Go relax. You need time to get your self together. Spend time getting your nails done, get that massage. Get something you said you'd save up for but hardly ever do. Its okay, self care is important sis. Get to it.

777 - This is a beautiful journey Im picking up for this group. You guys definitely will be on the road in the near future. Either alone or with someone new. This is a spiritual journey. It will seem magical. You have to let go and let things be, ok? Just relax. This show is for you.

888 - Pick yourself up. You got this. Its time to go on that daily jog. If you have to force yourself to do it, please do so. Make room for the weight that your shedding off this era. It's time to build up your self esteem, your endurance and your physique. This group might of had a eating problem in the past, or maybe some health problems. This number is asking for you to choose yourself. Choose what works and leave behind what doesn't. What do you see for this new reality of yours? You decide.

This is still good news for this group, your spirit team just wants you to NOT. QUIT. To never give up. Its good because you havent, you're a tough cookie. They just want you to want more for yourself. The root chakra is significant with this group. Do more walking and writing in journals to help figure out what are some roots that need picking out. Have a blessed one!

999 - Beginning to an end. New chapter. Congrats. You made it to the finish line darlings. Where would you like life to lead you? Would you take that bus and go on a random adventure? Go to the movies, its time to do something exciting. Do research on some new hobbies, as well as something that seems 'dangerous'. It's time to build up your stamina with a whole new life. You should try that dance class, you might come out a master in the long run ;)

I hope this helps! Have a good weekend everybody.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

I'm in a larger relatively new friendgroup. We all started going to university together last year so we're all new to each other.

So far none of us had been dating each other and I was glad about that because it always ends in unnecessary drama in my experience.

But a few days ago I was told that girl A and guy B had been dating for a few weeks. And everyone was like: Omg yes, about time. It was so obvious bla bla bla

It wasn't obvious for me. I had noticed them getting closer but I didn't notice it was meant to be romanticly closer. I acted as if I had noticed too because no one there knows I'm aroace yet and I didn't want to be 'the innocent one' again.

Am I really that much aro that I didn't notice something everybody else apparently did? Does anyone else experience situations like this?

I think this also ties to aros not realising people have crushes on them. Like I don't realise people are romantically together unless I'm told, which is sometimes a bit awkward. I just think people are really good friends and then suddenly they're like "Yeah we've been dating for 2 years" like HUH??

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Fuck it Friday

I was tagged by @girlwonder-writes 🙂

This is from my Tevan and Tarlos dad story, which also takes place in the Team Kinard universe. In this scene, the four dads are out on a double date while the 126 are babysitting Tommy and Buck's son Emmett and TK and Carlos' daughter Gabriella.

***

The two couples settled into their booth at the Tex-Mex restaurant, the aroma of spices and sizzling fajitas filling the air. After ordering their drinks and some appetizers, the conversation flowed easily.

"So, Tommy," TK asked, leaning forward slightly, "when did you know you were gay?"

Tommy thought for a moment before answering, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Well, I guess a part of me always knew, but I didn't really recognize it until freshman year of high school. I was on the baseball team and couldn't stop staring and thinking how good my teammates' asses looked in those tight baseball pants."

The table erupted in laughter, with Buck giving Tommy's hand a squeeze under the table.

"So you came out in high school?" Carlos asked, curious.

Tommy's expression sobered. "No, definitely not. I was closeted for almost 20 years after that. My dad was a massive homophobe and it wasn't safe for me to be gay in that environment. Then I was in the military during Don't Ask, Don't Tell, so I just became more and more miserable and closeted."

A moment of understanding silence fell over the table. TK and Carlos exchanged glances, recognizing the pain in Tommy's voice.

Buck, sensing Tommy's discomfort, spoke up. "But look at you now, babe. You're out, proud, and married to the hottest firefighter in LA." He winked, trying to lighten the mood.

Tommy chuckled, the tension easing from his shoulders. "Damn right, sweetheart."

TK smiled. "It's amazing how far we've all come, isn't it? I mean, look at us now - two queer couples on a double date, all of us in jobs we love, being who we are without hiding."

Carlos nodded in agreement. "It's not always easy, but it's worth it to live authentically."

As they savored their appetizers, Tommy turned to TK and Carlos. "What about you guys? How were your coming out experiences?"

TK grinned, setting down his fork. "Well, my story's probably not as dramatic as some. I grew up in Manhattan with very liberal parents. I was out and proud before I'd even had my Bar Mitzvah."

"Seriously?" Buck asked, eyebrows raised. "That young?"

TK nodded. "Yeah, I was lucky. My parents were incredibly supportive. Being gay was just... normal in our household. It was never a big deal."

All eyes then turned to Carlos, who took a sip of his drink before speaking. "My experience was... complicated. I came out when I was 17. My parents hugged me, and then... never mentioned it again."

The table quieted, sensing the weight of Carlos's words.

Carlos continued, "I ended up shoving myself back into the closet and even married my high school best friend." He paused, glancing at TK with a soft smile. "It wasn't until I started dating TK that I finally had a real conversation with my parents about it."

"How did that go?" Tommy asked gently.

"Better than I expected, actually," Carlos replied. "Everything's good now. My mom is great, and my dad... he had fully accepted me before he passed away. He was even supposed to be the best man at our wedding."

TK squeezed Carlos's hand supportively.

"I'm glad it worked out in the end," Buck said sincerely.

Tommy nodded in agreement. "To living our truths, whether we figured them out early or later in life," he said, raising his glass.

The others joined in the toast, the clink of their glasses punctuating the moment of shared understanding.

No pressure tags:

@typicalopposite @cosyvelvetorchid

[sanguinarysanguinity]

You know, I don't remember if I've ever gotten the director's commentary on Holocene Park? Give me the director's commentary on Holocene Park!

Holocene Park! That's a blast from the past! Do I remember anything about writing Holocene Park?

Some random things:

Holocene Park was inspired by the dinosaur Asylum Dinosaur Holmes film. While that film is a wild nonsensical ride that introduces kraken and dinosaurs into the Holmes universe, it also manages to be boring for great swathes of time. Also, there is barely any dinosaur in it! And I thought, I can do better than that.

All that mad-science stuff about how to genetically revert a chicken to a dinosaur? Was actual science that researchers were playing with at the time. The year after I published that story, there were some breakthroughs of genetically engineering chickens with dinosaur jaws or dinosaur legs. Google Jack Horner's Build a Dinosaur Project for more deets.

I wrote this during an era when I didn't have a good method for naming OCs, so I just lifted all the names from the ACD canon story, "The Creeping Man." I regret that now, as this story bears no meaningful relationship to "The Creeping Man", and there is zero thought into how I assigned names. (Don't try to pry meaning out of how I assigned the names; there isn't any.) The reason I went to "The Creeping Man" is because this story was a gift for @language-escapes, who loves dinosaurs and hates "The Creeping Man," and I'm an asshole.

(Later on I DID have Elementary x Creeping Man feelings, and wrote "Every Creeping Thing." Please see that if you want to see a proper Elementary take on "The Creeping Man".)

Some additional names are taken from Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World, which was his own ridonkulous dinosaur adventure story. Again, there's no rhyme nor reason to how I lifted the names. Again, I view this as an artistic failure.

That whole bit in the first and second chapter when they're running around by headlamp underground, trying to escape a giant killer ostritch-dinosaur? Was inspired by my sense-memories of a day spent mucking around by headlamp in Ape Cave on Mt. St. Helens. (For good or for ill, we did not encounter any dinosaurs in Ape Cave.) (Nor did we encounter any non-human apes.)

I think this was my first foray into case-fic? That said, it's more of a an adventure story than a sleuthing story: there's not much here in the way of clues, deductions, red herrings, or the like. Just lots of running and screaming and hitting monsters with sticks.

I had a whole little sideline going for a while there of writing as-shippy-as-fuck gen for Holmes and Watson pairs, and this absolutely is a major entry in that sideline. How shippy could I make it without making it romantic? Can I make it even shippier than that??

Swans. I haven't had a LOT of experience of swans (mostly just the one that bit me when I climbed over the fence at the zoo to pet it -- in my defense, I was a ridiculously tender age.) But we had geese when I was a kid, and my brother and I had whole summers that we couldn't leave the house without a weapon because the geese would menace us so fierce.

One of my co-workers knew guys from the local bomb disposal squad. We've seen them handle explosive materials. It was not possible for someone to have less respect for a potential bomb than they did.

I established my "first half of the chapter from Joan's point of view, second half the chapter from Sherlock's" structure on a whim, but it served me very well. Especially when Joan got attacked by the swan. We all knew that I wasn't going to kill Joan, so it didn't make much sense for that to be a chapter cliffhanger. But to have it work out to be a pov switch cliffhanger was a marvelous piece of luck.

I had so FUCKING much fun writing those killer swans. So much fun. I kinda want killer swanosaurs of my own for pets. Surely they'd let ME pet them, yes?

I was GONNA have all the dinosaurs (but Presbury) die during the course of the story. But readers rose up in comments and demanded that I save them. So I rewrote the ending to send the ostrichosaurs to a dinosaur-sanctuary and get them the best medical care possible. While I was at it, I saved all the chickenosaurs, too.

The Gladys thing is lifted straight from the Dinosaur Holmes movie. iirc (and it's been ten years since I watched it), during the big villain monologue, it turns out Sherlock's name is not Sherlock, but some other perfectly normal thing. Which struck us as hilariously random, and I had to include that beat. But instead of leaving it as a random wtf (like the Asylum movie did), I built it into Joan's history as a domestic violence survivor.

For all that the main story is off-the-wall bonkers, I have some real and earnest feelings about domestic violence tucked away in there. This is pretty typical for me: crack in perfect earnest is one of my specialties.

Word of God: Presbury is gonna get up to SO MUCH screamingly loud cockatoo-mischief hereafter. And Joan and Sherlock will give him everything his little dinosaury heart desires.

[oonajaeadira]

*Pedro Pascal living his best life, regular balanced meals and a skincare routine*

*Some Instagram guy* :he’s had surgery, you can tell because of the change of shape in his ear. (Uses photos at different distances,settings, and angles, also probably different lenses. All things that can warp subtler shapes, like the curves of the ear)

Also Pedro’s face gains fat faster/more than other people, or it just seems like that because of his face shape, idk but it’s where I notice it first. I figured he was working out for a more physical role before/during filming for gladiator from his face shape before paps started photographing him when he was leaving the gym.

It makes watching some of his early work from his 20s a bit distressing tbh, cause he looks underweight.

Listen. I love Pedro however he wants to present himself. I will say that I love curves over angles, but I am a soft lady with soft needs.

We've all seen the shots of him coming and going to the gym. As much as we'd all love to live in a utopia where body size and appearances don't matter, being an actor is the one job in this country where it's legal and nearly always required to be hired based on appearance. That means he's doing his job and preparing his tools--his body--for the work he needs to do. Pedro has said on many occasions that he doesn't have any other skills, so if he wants to keep acting, that's what he needs to do.

And he's also suffered injury on the job--his back, his shoulder, he's cracked teeth and so on--and just like an athlete, when you use your body for your job, you can avoid injury when you're in top performing order. Gladiator was a really physical process for him and that's where he hurt his shoulder. He's made roundabout comments about not being as young as he once was and I'm sure that experience made him realize that if he's going to be part of the Marvel universe, he's going to be physically taxed and should prepare for that to keep out of harm. Because injury wouldn't just keep him from work, it inconveniences everyone involved and if it's one thing Pedro doesn't seem to want to do, it's let anyone down. He may hate working out, but he seems like the chap that will do what he can for the sake of others.

(Not me speaking from a place where I have more tummy than I used to and am going into rehearsals for a physical role in a few weeks and kind of gritting my teeth about it....)

What I find hilarious about Dr. Facelift is that he's comparing two photos of P that are taken YEARS apart. You and I? We've been looking at him daily. We've seen (and sometimes mourned) the gradual loss of the tummy and seen (and sometimes gone insane over) the gradual gain of the biceps. We've watched the incremental changes. We study every damn freckle and dimple on that man's body. I can recognize his hands from his nail beds alone. If he got work done DO YOU THINK HIS GIRLIES WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED THE INSTANT IT HAPPENED???? I mean, the fact that I can tell you without looking it up that the "before" photos he uses are from the BAFTAS in 2021 tells you just how closely we watch. 🤣

I don't know that boy and all I've got to go off of is what he presents to the world, what his friends and colleagues say about him, and what I understand about working in the industry. But as a respectfully obsessed fan of that man's body? Shit. That doctor knows nothing.

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Don't Look and Don't touch

Another one for the people!😅

Summary - Reader is a dancer at a strip club where Ruben Dias is the birthday boy.

Enjoy!

All of the girls sat in front of the mirror in the dressing room when Jessie, the manager, walked in.

"Alright ladies, seems like we have a full house tonight!"

You watched as most girls cheered around you.

"This means that all of you should be on your best behavior tonight. Tuck your thongs, stuff your tits and keep reminding your clients to look but not touch."

"Unless their stuffing your bra with cash!" A girl named Mika hollered. Her words were followed by laughter, all but yours.

"Foxy and Y/N" Jessie said, calling you and another girl over. "You two are going to work the birthday party that I got going on upstairs. There's alot of guy's up there, apparently professional football players, with alot of cash in thier pockets. They've paid for drinks all night and that no one disturbs them up in V.I.P. Foxy I'm going to need you on the floor entertaining the fellas at the tables. We've made sure to set up a pole for you center stage."

"Nice." Foxy said, popping her gum. She was more experience than you and had more talent. She had worked at the club for over three years compared to your five months. Foxy had a boyfriend and baby at home, so perhaps this job was her main income. You were just trying to make some extra money as a university student. Perhaps save money to buy your own computer instead of having to make a trip to the library every other day.

"Y/N."

"Huh?"

Jessica brought you out of your day dreams.

"Whilst I have Foxy out on the floor I'm going to need you to entertain the birthday boy."

"Me?" You exclaimed.

"Her?" Foxy frowned. She was as suprised as you were because giving private dances wasn't for everybody.

"Yes you. I know it's your first time out but the birthday boys friends describe him as a square kind of guy. A simply guy with simply needs. There is no need to do a flip on him like Foxy would. Just be you, cute and vanilla. He'll definitely have fun with that."

"Right." You said and rubbed your sweaty hands together.

"Come on Y/N" Foxy jumped. "Don't be afraid you'll be working with me, this makes us the dream team, alright."

"Okay." You nodded. Ten minutes later you had changed into you spiky lingerie and were making your way upstairs to the V.I.P salon. There were loud cheers as Foxy was already doing her thing on the pole. The guys were tipsy with expensive alcohol and didn't seem to care how much money they were throwing away on stage. You walked behind Jessie as you were led into a place the club called The Evil Lair. That's where all private dances happened.

"Is he already in there?" You asked.

"Blindfolded and ready." Jessie smiled. She was in a really good mood today because of the money the footballers were bringing in. "But just rember." She said, her smile disappearing. "Don't look and don't touch."

"Don't look and don't touch." You nodded.

"You got this girl." Jessie slapped your ass, leaving you at the door. You paused and took a deep breath before entering the purple lit room. There were no furniture in there. Just a red velvet chair, currently occupied by a man in a suit and a blindfold covering his eyes.

He turned his head at the sound of your heels.

"Yes?" He said, raising his brow as if was expecting you to introduce yourself. However you did not move from your spot by the door.

"Tell me the rules." You said.

The man sighed. Jessie probably had him repeat it several times before your arrival.

"Don't look and don't touch." He said, voice deep.

"Good." You nodded. "If you do I'll have security escort you out of here as well as if you try anything else that hasn't been agreed upon by both of us."

He nodded, confused as to where you stood in the room. The sound of your heels echoed as you approached the chair, stopping just infort of the man who sat with his legs spread before him.

"What's your name?" You asked.

"Ruben." He said, a bit hesitantly.

"No last name?"

"None of you business."

His words caught you off guard and made you chuckle. Jessie said that the man wasn't like the regular clients. Good, you thought. Regular clients were usually men in their fifties, here to get their quick fix of the week. This client was young, perhaps a bit older than yourself. He had a sharp jaw and handsome lips which sparked your fantasy of what his eyes look like.

"My name is Trixie." You said, taking another step forward to stand between the man's legs. His reaction was to shift his legs a little as not to make yours brush against each other. This made you frown.

"Is this your first time at a strip club Ruben?"

"What's it to you?"

"Well, it let's me know weather to go easy on you or not."

He smirked. "Depends on what exactly you are planning to do to me."

This would be a challenge, you thought. Ruben seemed to clever for his own good. Perhaps he was one of those no it alls at school. Every grade used to have one.

"Well...what do you want me to do to you?" You threw a leg over Ruben's thigh and suprised him a little by taking a seat in his lap. His natural reaction was to lift his hands and try to catch you. However, you were quick to slap them away. "Ah-Ah, rember the rules Ruben."

He smirked. Perhaps because you were using his name more than necessary.

"My apologies."

"An apology won't cut it. I'm afraid I'll have to punish you."

"Punish me ho...."

Ruben gasped as your long nails clawed the buttons to his shirt, flashing his bare chest and grabbing a hold of his nipples.

"Easy big boy." You said, twisting them between your fingers. He weezed in pain, but did not raise his hands to touch you. Good, you thought, he's a fast learner.

"Now." You said, after letting go of his nipples, allowing him to catch his breath. "What should I do with you?" You traced a nail down his naked torso. His lean body indicated that he worked out every day. You paused however at the sight of somthing purple, a bruise. Looking up, you saw Ruben clenching his jaw, he had been doing so ever since you jump in his lap.

"I'm sorry." You said. Quick to climb off him.

"For what?" He smirked. "Thought I deserved to be punished?" He turned his head in search of your voice.

"Yes, but you're hurting."

"Oh." He put a hand to where the bruise was. "You saw that?"

"My boss didn't tell me that you..." You paused realizing that you were breaking character. But there was no way this could go on if you were causing him more pain than necessary. "Ruben I don't think this..."

"I never took you for a coward."

"Pardon?"

He chuckled. Having silenced you. "I mean you sounded so confident coming in here. What happened Trixie? If that's even your real name?"

You stayed silent, contemplating calling security. However that wouldn't sit well with Jessie if you had the birthday boy kicked out. Surley his friends and their money would leave with him. Perhaps it was better to keep him entertained, just for a little while longer.

"No." You said. "It's not my real name."

"What is it then?"

"Y/N" Your heart skipped a beat knowing you just broke one of the ultimate rules at the club, "No government names".

"Y/N." He repeated, twisting the letters with his tounge. "That's it, no last name?"

You chuckled. "What's it to you?"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"I prefer not to. I've said too much already."

He smiled. "I make you nervous don't I?"

"You wish."

"Oh, so you're always this distant with your clients then?"

"Ruben you're hurt." You snapped. He was pushing your buttons in a way you didn't like.

He waved his hand. "It's just a bruise from training, nothing serious. I liked having you in my lap, there is kind of a draft now." He elevated his unbuttoned shirt that you left upon.

"Shit, sorry." You made your way over to him, stopping in front of his chair. His head turned in your direction as you bent down and started working on rebuttoning his shirt.

"I could have done that myself." He said a sincerity to his voice.

"It's the least I can do." You muttered. How terrible you were at this job. This was so not sexy. Foxy would have handled this situation a thousand times better than you. Once the buttons were up you took a step back, maintaining distance between you and Ruben who still sat blindfolded.

"I'm guessing I've made it difficult for you to do your job?" He said.

You shrugged. "It's your birthday, you decide."

He sighed. "If I got to decided what to do on my birthday I wouldn't be here, talking to a stranger whilst blindfolded."

"Let me guess, your teammates dragged you down here."

"Thay said I needed to loosen up more. I was basically kidnapped."

"I see."

"You don't believe me?" He frowned.

"Oh, no. I believe you're a person who needs to loosen up more. My job has never included this much conversation with a client before."

"That's because your not sitting on me."

"I..." Your mouth fell open. "This is not up for discussion Ruben, I'm not suppose to cause you pain just pleasure."

"Well so far you've only caused me pain."

You raise a protesting finger. "That was because you tried to touch me."

Silence fell. Behind the door loud music played. You ran a hand down your face probably ruining your make up. What was gonna happen once Jessie finds out that you've refused to treat a client. What if Ruben tells her what happened but with his own words. Surely that would be worse.

"Why does a girl like you work here?"

You raised your head. Ruben sat in his share facing you. Perhaps he could hear your silent sobbing.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you seem too compassionate to be working here."

"Trust me, compassionate is what you have to be in order to work here." You thought of the regulars that came here. The disgusting old men. How you have to play a role and pretend to enjoy what you were doing to them.

"Do you have another job or another occupation?" He asked, sounding genuinely interested in hearing what you'd say.

"Yes, I'm a student here in Manchester."

You watched a curious brow raise behind his blindfold.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"Oh I believe you. It actually makes alot of since why you'd choose to work here. "

"And why is that?" You said, folding your arms.

"It's easy money, no?" He said, his accent flourishing.

You choose silence as your answer.

Ruben nodded his head understandingly. "It would be easier money, if you didn't have me as your client."

"You said it not I."

He chuckled. "Tell you what, let's make a deal."

"A deal?"

"A deal." He nodded. "I'll pay for whatever it is that you need to get payed for, if you agree to take this blindfold off my face."

"I..."

"I know it probably violates one of your many rules, but I've been imagining what you look like for the past minutes but I just can't seem to figure you out."

You shook your head. A bit suprised. "W...why would you want to..."

"Cuse I know you're probably very beautiful."

"Ruben." You sighed. "I'm sorry that I've haven't been able to please you the way I should have this evening, but I'm not sure I would like for you to witness me like that."

He nodded his head. "It's only a deal if we both agree."

"Thank you." You found yourself stepping forward, however you weren't aware that you were doing so until you felt two warm hands rail you in by the waist.

"Ruben."

He was determined but not in a way that frightening you. He railed you in til the point that your body pressed to his. You had yet seen him stand but you suspected that he was tall, very tall. In the end you surrender by falling into his lap, letting him catch you in his arms, breaking a thousand rules.

"Happy now?" You whispered.

You sat facing each other, your face hovering above Rubens as he held you up.

"Very happy." He smiled. His breath was warm against your face. He groaned a little as you shifted you weight, perhaps putting to much pressure on his bruised side.

"Ruben." You sighed. But he fought your urge to get off of him.

"I want this." He said. "I want you."

His hand traveled down your body, tracing the fabric of your lingerie. "You're beautiful" He muttered.

"You can't even see me."

"Then let me."

He fitted his head into the crook of your neck, latching onto your skin with his lips.

"Ruben. " You moaned, twisting your head. He continued down to your collarbone, his face burying in your cleavage. You kept him there with a hand around his head, letting him serenade your breast with his lips.

"Y/N" He groaned. "Let me see you."

It would break a million rules and surely result in your own resignation. But the way he cradled you, held you and wanted you, was just too damn tempting.

You raised his head with a hand around his chin, letting his blindfold äed eyes meet yours. Rubens hand fell to his side, reassuring you that he wouldn't try anything. Your forhead knocked against his, the tips of your noses caressing each other. You broke another rule when you tilted your head down and kissed him. Your hand went up to the side of his head and under the fabric that hid his eyes. As you pulled back from the kiss you tugged the blindfold, reavilng a pair of hazel eyes.

"How do I look?" You smiled.

He batted his lashes adjusting to the neon lights around the room. He took you in, shifting his eyes from side to side. A grin appeared on his lips.

"Like I imagined."

"Beautiful?"

"Nah. Intelligent and sexy."

You chuckled. "Your favorite combination?"

"I dunno." He shrugged. "We'll just have to wait and see."

You gasped as his hands cupped your ass, pressing you against his groin, letting you feel his excitement for you.

"Fuck Ruben. You're going to make me brake a billion rules."

"Then let us break them together."

[cuttyclowngirl]

DAIMA EP.10 (Spoiler)Review/theories

• NOW we've seen every shot from the 2 minute trailer.

• Majin Kuu immediately made it clear they're not the big bad Majin Dr Arinsu hoped for, as some of us suspected. Poor silly goober. I hope we hear him sing someday.

• It's a little easy to lie to Warp-Sama. I wonder if that'll tie into the plot later on somehow. Warp-Sama letting Goku & crew pass also implies that Panzy's single jammer worked, since their Gendarmerie ship wasn't reported stolen. Nice. Though Hybis still has a collar on, so...

• I do think Goku is right in prioritizing getting everyone's adult bodies back. Their kid bodies are still holding them back a bit. Best to skip all the time it'd take to get used to them & go straight back to prime.

• The bit about Piccolo mentioning that Earth's D balls will be useless since Dende's a baby is a little pointless since they were already forced out of cool down & are already on cool down again. Everyone should be back to normal by the end of this Demon Realm adventure anyways.

• Vegeta showed an impressive amount of restraint. Hybis was seriously pushing it. Also, confirmation that Vegeta & Bulma are legally married. Cute.

• While the 2nd demon world is pretty at first glance, we see more & more evidence of Kid Buu's rampage everywhere. So many archipelagos with nothing on them, long empty stretches of ocean where maybe islands or even continents used to be. Same goes for the Namekian home world. It's a somber beauty. At least the air isn't heavy. One less nerf.

• Seems like the legend of the Kraken doesn't exist on Earth. Odd. Unless this is a case of Goku's ignorance outside of fighting.

• The plane trouble's never gonna end, huh?

• So now, if Goku & friends manage to get to 1st world, they'll get to fight an entire army of Gendarmerie, then, maybe, King Gohma, Degesu, & Dr Arinsu+ Majin Kuu, & then Tamagami #1. Good thing Goku had Glorio buy so many bugs. Only 3 revive bugs left though... But how many Join Bugs?

• The first kraken attack scene was so well done that I was legit worried for Panzy & Goku, even though... you know... It's Goku. Also Panzy can fly. She did fly much slower than everyone else, probably due to a combination of age, experience & magical strength. She should really ask for those ki control lessons... She saved the Dragon Ball, though!

• Since Porunga made a brand new Planet Namek back in the day, did he restore the trees the ancient Namekians brought from the Demon Realm, or are they basically replicas made from scratch? (This'll never be officially answered...)

• The way the Revive Bug forced out Goku's aura is clearly a callback to the scenes where Elder Guru unlocked Gohan & Krillin's potential.

• Panzy apparently already knows how Revive Bugs work. They must be used by soldiers at Kadan's castle.

• Goku's not great at charades.

• Krakens jumping out of the water is a terrifying thought. Plus, Goku mentions that he, Vegeta & Piccolo aren't strong enough to fight one yet, which I hope is an exaggeration.

• Being treated "as little more than slaves" coupled with some psycho demon demolishing their home world, plus everything that happens down the line... I hope Namekians will know peaceful days forever after Frieza gets axed again.

• Cameo from other Supreme Kai's was cool.

• People are probably confused, but it seems to me that this "Super Majin Rymus", much like the Yin Yang system between Kaio-shin & Hakaio-shin(Gods of Destruction), Majin Rymus, a being capable of creating entire universes, is clearly Zeno-Sama's counterpart in the same way. I mean, heck, Rymus looks like an old guy while Zeno is practically a toddler. Also, Goku is clearly never paying attention to these lore drops.

• I hope we get some lore behind former Supreme King Abura's seemingly arbitrary fear of outside threats.

•I hope those poor Glind trees get restored at some point.(mainly for the sake of everyone's Kai OCs)

• I hope we get a figure or something of this "Good Supreme Demon King".

• If you listen closely, you can hear Majin Kuu saying "Kuu" during his fight, similar to the way Majin Buu shouts his own name. It'll probably be more obvious in the dub.

• NEVA JUMPSCARE?! (but not, because he walks slow) Will he make it to the plane? Will he chat with the group? I can't wait to find out!

• The next EP preview looks Shintani AF. (I mean, he did work on this EP , but you know what I mean. (Also, it's not him at all, I'm wrong.))