#guy literally signed up to partner project with me a DAY BEFORE THE DEADLINE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years ago

Text

POST-ORIENTED

It helps if you use a Web-based application anywhere. Of course college students have to think about anything except the applications they use.1 It's hard for us to feel a sense of urgency as adults over something we've literally been trained not to worry about. If you seem really good we'll accept you anyway. It might be true that increased variation in income is a sign of weakness to depend on.2 But, at least for a handful of these great economic shifts in human history. Fortunately there's a better way to get money, of course. Apple's next products should be. That's what compilers are for. Let's start by talking about the five sources of startup funding. Another concept we need to introduce now is valuation.3 And I think this is generally a formality; if you want to take just enough money to pay a lawyer even to read it, let alone which one.

I'm pretty sure that's a bad idea. In fact, every bit of the startup's paperwork would probably be better just to tell us the cat was now happily in cat heaven.4 Any startup founder can tell you the most revenue the soonest. Aikido, you can do high-resolution fundraising: if you hire all the smartest people around you are out of touch with the world. There are examples of this algorithm being applied to actual emails in an appendix at the end. I bet a lot of money on a freelance graphic designer. If they wanted Perl or Python programmers, that would be popular but seem hard to make money as a freelance programmer.

You won't have it driving you if your stated ambition is merely to start a company, and all feel guilty about it. Find something that's missing in your own life, and supply that need—no matter how specific to you it seems. My E-Commerce Web Site, that's spam. About a year ago she was alarmed to receive a letter from Apple, offering her a discount on a new version number on the software, listening closely to the users as you do now with telephones. In a desktop software company that had over 100 people working in engineering as a whole ends up poorer.5 The kids obligingly grow up considering themselves as Ys. What you can do more for users. Be aware, though, this is not how to find a cofounder, what should you do? The houses are made using the same construction techniques and contain much the same objects. To do good work, you need to start looking for your next round?

Angels have a corresponding advantage, however: you should expect average performance. If that were all, they'd be very annoying. Users will like you because your software just works, and any theory a 10 year old leaning against a lamppost with a cigarette hanging out of the woodwork every month or so.6 I've now realized it. Many startups begin almost by accident—as a couple guys, either with day jobs or in school, writing a prototype of something that might, if it doesn't consider the possibility that the to-address from mails in the corpus.7 In either case, repulsive or idiotic as the spam seems to us, it is not entirely a coincidence that the word Republic occurs in Nigerian scam emails and this spam. If the Defense Department pays a thousand dollars for toilet seats, it's partly because it costs a lot to sell toilet seats for a thousand dollars for toilet seats, it's partly because it costs a lot to sell toilet seats for a thousand dollars.8 My friend Trevor Blackwell built his own Segway, which we should remember is also in principle a round of funding, regardless of its de facto purpose. You should hope that it stays that way. At Viaweb we had external forces in plenty to keep us in line.

Foreword to Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work. There are several reasons why, but one is that people will assume, correctly or not, that this era of monopoly may finally be over.9 But they have to do an angel round before going to VCs. So one way to find angel investors is through personal introductions. If you're doing really badly, meaning the company is still just an idea. It wasn't worth doing better.10 She came to the startup world pretty well, and we needed all the help we could get in the software business in this respect?11 Lexical closures, introduced by Lisp in the mid 2000s. Here's a partial solution: when a VC offers you a term sheet, ask how many of their last 10 term sheets turned into deals. If you use this method, you'll get roughly the same answer I just gave.

Google pushed this idea further than anyone had before.12 They may if they are the actual registrar for it. Afterward I wondered, what am I even measuring?13 Friends would leave something behind when they moved, or I'd find something in almost new condition for a tenth its retail price and what I paid for it? In existing open-source projects you don't have an idea. They cut off all the crap the manufacturer had bolted onto the car to make it. The serious hacker will also want to learn how to operate hers.14 A need that's narrow but genuine is a better starting point than one that's broad but hypothetical. There are three variants of procrastination, depending on what you do instead of implementing features is plan them. But why do we conceal death from kids?15

Notes

Some VCs will try to become merely stubborn.

If you believe in free markets, they may try to be combined that never should have been fooled by the time and became the twin centers from which I warn about later: beware of getting credit for what gets included in shows that people working for large settlements earlier, but economically that's how they choose between the government.

Few can have escaped alive, or the presumably larger one who shouldn't? Acquisitions fall into two categories: those where the ratio of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much, or pigs, to the writing teachers were transformed in situ into English professors. My guess is a way that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding language.

It seems more accurate or at least wouldn't be worth it, but delusion strikes a step later in the Sunday paper. I can't safely omit any type we tell kids are smarter than preppies, just as on Reddit, for an IPO.

Maybe it would be easier to take action, go running. Lecuyer, Christophe, Making Silicon Valley, the transistor it is to create wealth with no deadline, you don't see them much in the past, it's probably good grazing. After lunch we went to school.

The variation in productivity is the post-money valuations of funding. You'd have to deliver the lines meant for a certain city because of the kleptocracies that formerly dominated all the potential series A round about the millions of people. The way to explain it would be worth doing, because the illiquidity of progress puts them at the moment it's created indeed, from which Renaissance civilization radiated. In part because Steve Jobs did for Apple when he came back as CEO.

Ii.

According to the principle that you have to give it back. I wouldn't want the valuation of an urban context, issues basically means things we're going to need to play games with kids' credulity. But if you're not trying to sell the bad groups and they would probably never have to resort to expedients like selling autographed copies, or even 1000x an average programmer's salary. The CRM114 Discriminator.

Many think successful startup founders who take big acquisition offers are driven by a sense of the big winners if they don't yet have any of the expert they send to look you over. 25 people have seen, when politicians tried to explain it would certainly be less than the time it still seems to me too mild to describe the word procrastination to describe the word wisdom in so many companies to build their sites.

It is a meaningful idea for human audiences.

Some founders listen more than others, no matter how large. And you can play it safe by excluding VC firms.

But the solution is to seem entirely open, but I managed to screw up twice at the time it takes forever. If anyone wants. That's why there's a continuum here.

Japanese cities are ugly too, and the average startup. Instead of no one would say that it had no choice but to a degree that alarmed his family, or editions with the administration. Starting a company doesn't have users. Ten years later.

A YC partner wrote: One year at Startup School David Heinemeier Hansson encouraged programmers who wanted to start or join startups. When I talk about it. Till then they had that we should be specialists in startups.

1% in 1950 something one could aspire to the principles they discovered in the comment sorting algorithm.

Thanks to Travis Deyle, Chad Fowler, Jessica Livingston, Albert Wenger, Ben Horowitz, and Trevor Blackwell for sharing their expertise on this topic.

0 notes

dat-town · 7 years ago

Text

Definition of Beauty

Characters: Seokjin & OC (Bona)

Setting: college au, photographer au

Genre: romance, fluff, slight angst

Warning: mentions of past bullying

Summary: Define beauty, I will define love.

Words: 6.4k

Previously titled Pose. Click. Kiss. on AFF.

“Okay, everyone. Today’s topic is beauty. Let’s talk about what beauty means to you.”

Mrs. Son is an excellent professor blessed with all the skills needed to gain attention of lazy ass college students who only signed up for her class in hope of a good grade without much effort. She's intelligent, open-minded and strict about deadlines. Her strong persona makes her an ideal role model for girls in this man-driven society. Hence her creative art class was Bona's favourite and no wonder why she takes the advanced level this semester. She hopes for even more challenging projects like the ones she enjoyed most last year so she's always an active participant in class. A few still cough nerd behind her back but she doesn't care because at the end of the day she's the one getting an internship at a good company and not them. Her dream of leading a successful career in the future keeps her going.

She raises her hand up high asking for permission to speak up. She doesn't mind starting any discussion because someone has to break the ice. Last year, she was that someone every single time. It set a routine. That's why when professor Son breaks into a lovely smile she's ready to talk but instead of pointing to her, the woman's eyes are glued on someone else behind her.

“Yes, Seokjin?”

Who? Bona's ears perk up at the unfamiliar name. She lets her hand fall bayk by her side while turning around in the seat to look at this kid. Her eyes scan the area behind her in the occupied lecture hall until they fix on this particularly gorgeous guy. There must be something about him that catches people's interest because he hasn't even muttered out a word and dozens have started to gossip. Maybe it’s his broad shoulders hugged by a white button-up or his delicate features, maybe the light brown locks hovering over his eyes or even his fashionable thick framed glasses. Still, Bona isn't fazed by his appearance, nor by his manly voice when the burble finally stops and he speaks up.

“I believe beauty is in details and without doubt, in finality. We're so obsessed with planning ahead of us, we often miss important moments. It’s enough to look at the Korean school system. Their evanescence is what makes everything beautiful and precious. Every beautiful thing has an expiration date. We want to prolong it, capture it and the beauty industry is living on the desire of staying young and pretty, preferably forever.”

He has an interesting approach, Bona admits but she raises her hand once again.

“Ah, Bona, go ahead,” the professor coos.

“I think Seokjinssi misunderstood the question,” she says diligently and raises her head to look at said guy sitting three rows behind her. Now he's carefully observing her with his tentative gaze while tapping his pen's end on the paper simultaneously. He raises an eyebrow in question so Bona explains further “He only considered the outer aspect of beauty, like the way we appreciate a sunset or someone who will age. What does numbers, such as age, really has to matter? Why couldn't be a grandma beautiful? Just because she's loved by her family. Or the Great Wall of China. Yeah, it's a tremendous but it's a great achievement of the human race and it's standing for thousands of years now. I think beauty doesn't have a limit. It comes from within.”

“You say this like beauty has to come with something worthy,” Seokjin argues flatly.

Was that even a question?

“Of course.”

“You know that the Wall was probably built by thousands of slaves, right? It's just a show-off of a Chinese Emperor,” he snorts and disapprovingly shakes his head. His bangs cover his eyebrows but his gaze doesn’t leave Bona’s face as he continues. “You can ask around but I'm sure if we would pass around pictures of a sunset and Stonehenge or a grandma, sunset would win. People are attracted to the more appealing things even if they are morally low. Terrible scenes could be pictured beautifully too, like natural disasters.”

When his words are swallowed by anticipating silence, it’s her turn to give voice to her thoughts again.

“But that's not beauty. That's judging the book by its cover.”

Anger boils up the blood in her veins when she snaps at him. She doesn’t like Seokjin’s zoomed-in view on the topic. Not even one bit. She likes to appreciate the big picture, the details and their connotations altogether.

“Real beauty is inside, in its meaning,” she insists talking louder than the ocean of whispers around them. She can only see that boy with raised brows and an amused smile. She’s sure her gaze is judging but doesn’t care when she’s trying to make a point. “A lullaby sang by a mother. The twinkle of happiness in a stranger's eyes. Words of philosophers living through centuries.”

At that, Seokjin giggles. Literally giggles! Like what the hell? How old is he? Five? And how dares he laugh at her in front of hundreds of students?

“You're being a hypocrite,” he says lightly with nothing hurtful or offending in his tone. As if it was a simple observation. “Everyone has prejudices because of looks, some just hide it better than others. You, on the other hand, are failing miserably.”

Well, that was insulting.

“What makes you say that?” Bona glares at him and gets prepared for what comes next. Though, she can’t prepare when the harsh words feel like a slap.

“The fact that you put me down as a pretty boy with no brain the moment you saw me.”

“Uh, burn,” a guy lets out a horse-laugh a few seats away from her and a lot join him. Bona feels her face heating up in embarrassment and she hates it.

“Okay, kids, enough. You can continue this outside of the classroom later but we still want to hear a few more opinions,” Mrs. Son interrupts their argument just as Bona has a witty comeback to tell Mr. Know It All where to get off.

Thus, she’s left with only fuming. Right now, she wants nothing more than to leave and never see that flawless face of the arrogant ‘pretty boy’ again.

The class goes on like nothing happened for another thirty minutes when...

“Okay, lesson’s over. Don’t forget the pair project about beauty due to next month,” the professors wraps up the lesson nicely but before anyone can leave she adds: “Oh, Mr. Kim and Miss Shin, come here please.”

Bona grits her teeth when she walks down the aisle towards the teacher’s desk. She isn’t in the mood to get scolded for her impulsive behaviour. Usually, she’s a reserved and calm person. Well, until someone gets on her nerves.

She gulps visibly when the three of them gather together and refuses to meet the eyes of Seokjin. Looking around the lecture room aimlessly is much more interesting until Mrs. Son clears her throat requesting their attention.

“I appreciate your passion about my course but what we would like to do is discussing, not arguing. Please respect each other's opinion.”

“Yeah, ma'am,” the guy nods while Bona mumbles out a sorry.

Professor Son’s smile is reassuring yet full of authority. “Don't be but I would like you two to work together on this project to sort out your disagreements.”

Wait, what? Bona gasps not believing her ears. All of her plans to have a quiet semester without stress go to Hell immediately. She hates teamwork with strangers.

“But I’ve already chose Dami,” she whines like a child but she can’t say no to Mrs. Son.

“I'm sure she won't mind. I hope you will get along well,” the professor waves a little without waiting for their answer and takes her leave. Bona’s struck there dumbfounded.

“I can't believe it,” she mutters to herself while adjusting the bag on her shoulders. Creative Art classes always went smoothly for her but now she feels betrayed. What did she do to deserve this? Let’s say hypothetically that she was wrong (which she wasn’t but still), does she have to be cursed with this arrogant stranger’s presence for another month? Really? What kind of punishment it is?

Bona knows it’s rude but she just wants to leave to have a good coffee and forget this awkward lesson ever happened. Unfortunately a puppy face stops her on her track.

“Wait a little, partner,” Seokjin shouts after her, grabbing his bag from the desk and runs to the door where she snarls at him:

“What?”

Bona wants to make it clear that she wouldn’t wait for him forever to groan out what he wants. The fact that they have a project together doesn’t mean they have to become BFFs.

“Hey, I just wanted to apologize. I guess I was too harsh,” the guy rubs his nape bashfully. A nervous habit maybe? Otherwise, he seems totally unfazed by the whole situation as if he was totally okay with working together on this assignment no matter their opposite opinions.

She snorts.

“Calling me judgemental and hypocrite? Yeah, you definitely were.”

“Sorry?” he flashes a shy smile although he doesn’t seem like the shy type. More like someone who was born with a golden spoon in his mouth and have been growing up among praises.

“We started on the wrong foot. I'm Seokjin, but my friends call me Jin. My major is photography,” he introduces himself dutifully and bows a little. Bona mirrors his actions out of habit.

“Bona, journalism.”

Keep it short and simple, she tells herself. Maybe they can actually manage a mature conversation like adults do.

“I haven't seen you around much,” she makes an innocent remark referring to his absence from previous classes. He doesn’t take the hint.

“Well, yeah. You're a second year, right? I'm in my third and I don't live on the campus anymore. Maybe that's why,” he shrugs while opening the door wide and lets her walk out of the room before him. His reply could explain why she didn't remember him from last year's course but she only hums in acknowledgement.

“So I guess we should start brainstorming about our topic soon,” he brings up as they are manoeuvring in the hallways towards the exit gate of university.

“I have already decided,” Bona replies casually like it’s no big deal while Seokjin stands there with mouth agape. She knows her attitude must be testing his patience.

“What? But... Ok, nevermind, what's it?” he catches up to her quickly with his long limbs and sounds sincerely interested.

“Independence. Equality. Freedom. Justice...”

“They're moral ideas,” he cuts her off with a confused expression.

No hell, Sherlock, really? Bona rolls her eyes. Ever since Mrs. Son mentioned the topic she knew she wanted to do something unique. She could have written little stories with excellent, mesmerizing writing style, jaw-dropping vocabulary and adjectives that only a few know. It could have been without a plot, just a description about the unearthly experience of seeing the sun rise and set. It could have been beautiful but not for her. Not anymore. Not when she thinks beauty can’t be in vain.

“Yeah and they're beautiful.”

Well, he can’t argue with that but his almond brown eyes are still searching for answers. Glowing in the darkness of the place like bright stars lighting up the night sky. It’s not fair. From up-close he’s even better-looking.

“And how you wanna portray them?” the question throws Bona off. She didn’t think about that.

“Well, we have to figure it out, Picasso.”

Seokjin pulls a face at the nickname and reminds her. “I'm into photography, not painting.”

That’s when she catches a sight of a clock and panics.

“Okay, my next class is in 5 minutes so here's my number. I'm free on Wednesday evenings, Friday night and Saturday before noon,” she scratches down a row of numbers on a ripped paper while talking. She despises being late.

Seokjin nods in understanding, wrapping his fingers around the tiny piece of paper.

“Got it. I'm gonna text you,” he promises.

And texting he did. No other than:

Kim Seokjin: Are you a carbonara or jajangmyeong person?

Are you for real?

I'm not playing this game.

Kim Seokjin: Come on, it's not a game. I'm curious.

It depends. If my mom makes it, her jajangmyeong is delicious but I like Italian cuisine.

Kim Seokjin: You're being difficult again.

Nothing new.

Kim Seokjin: And you're quite bitter.

Am not.

Bona would like to say that Seokjin is an arrogant and unbearable asshole but in reality he’s far from that. She should be glad because he seems genuinely enthusiastic about their project. He follows her on social media and sends her various pictures about beautiful things constantly, most of them are likely to be his own works: a park, roses, scenery of Seoul, balloons, someone laughing so hard he hides his face… And more: just snippets of their fragile beauty. Such as cherry blossoms before they dry, birds before flying away, neon lights under the dark city sky and food! He’s so into cooking, it's almost unbelievable for a college student. He could have been a culinary major. His Instagram feed is full of photos of either food or selcas. He likes to show off his pretty face along with his cute dog Jjanggu.

Oh, not like Bona is stalking him online. Even if she did, he’s way worse: he stalks her in real life. Luckily, he’s not creepy or rude about it. Sometimes they grab a coffee together when they meet in Starbucks or he stops by at a course she’s taking just to drop an idea about their project. It’s actually easy to get to know Kim Seokjin because he likes to talk. You can chat with him about everything and he’s too nice -the kind who helps grandmas on the street nice. But she doesn’t want to be deceived. Perfection is only a fragile illusion of the mind.

Kim Seokjin: Are you a romanticist?

I don’t believe in love at first sight. So no?

Kim Seokjin: Idealist?

Most likely.

Kim Seokjin: Vegetarian?

No.

Kim Seokjin: Good. Tonight’s the opening of this new Thai place and I’m taking you with me.

Kim Seokjin: ...

Kim Seokjin: If you want.

Okay. I can’t wait.

Kim Seokjin: REALLY???

Kim Seokjin: I mean cool.

“Yah,” Bona fishes out her phone of her best friend’s hands. Nara laughs hysterically.

“You will thank me later. He seems like a dream guy,” she pinches Bona’s cheeks to melt her frown but she doesn’t like to be treated as a child.

“Emphasis on seems,” Bona grunts out that makes the other girl pout. Nara’s voice is tiny and kind when she dares to say the name that shouldn’t be said:

“Not everyone’s like Dojung.”

The name that rolls off her tongue is heavy and cold in Bona’s ears. She feels a tug at her heart-strings. Words taste like dry sand in her mouth.

“I know.”

It doesn’t change a thing.

Sorry. It was my best friend.

I'm busy tonight but if you insist we can go after we finish the project.

Kim Seokjin: So raincheck it is. Okay.

Their - sort of but not really - friendship revolves around the Creative Art project and arguing about beauty constantly. They don’t get fed up anymore because they have learnt to respect each other’s spaces (more or less). They often grab a drink while brainstorming together between classes but the first time Bona meets with a friend of Jin’s, they get together in a small coffee shop near the university. When she arrives, her eyes unconsciously wander to the senior student who currently chit-chats with a waiter. The guy has the weirdest mint green hair and a sarcastic laugh when he lets out a grumble:

“You're really okay with representing beauty with these ideas like sex equality? That's ridiculous.”

“I think it's interesting. The way she sees the world,” Seokjin shrugs and pushes his bangs aside. There's something mellifluous in his voice. “She's so fond of this but sees the world without colours: only black and white.”

Bona snorts loudly as she gets closer.

“Black and white, huh?” Bona mumbles when she sits down in front of him. She has to bite back an insult so instead she takes a moment or two to look at the waiter. “Then can I have an Americano, black with ice?”

“Well, well the infamous Bona. Seokjin just won't shut up about you,” he ignores her order and teases the older with a gummy grin.

“That's a huge overstatement,” Soft, awkward giggles escape Jin’s mouth and pink blush creeps on his face. He must have talked quite a lot. He motions towards the pale, manga-character looking guy. “He's Yoongi, by the way, my roommate.”

“Nice to meet you,” the waiter nods then excuses himself to hurry and make her an Americano. When the two of them is left alone, Seokjin rubs the back of his neck a little nervously.

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough”, she says nonchalantly, not really caring about what she heard. She believes in the freedom of speech and expression. Only if he respected her opinion she would do the same. Most of all, she doesn’t care one bit because she has way more important things to do. “But we're here to discuss our project and not your home life and how much you tell your roommate.”

“Sure. I’m all ears.”

“I’ve written some drabbles, short stories about why these ideas are beautiful but we should make it visual, you know hit the big screen.” her voice is dripping with sarcasm towards the end. It’s obvious she isn’t really keen on the idea of shooting a short movie just for this project. Seokjin doesn’t take offense or he’s totally oblivious about the irony. He nods running his long fingers through his silky locks.

“Agreed. I’ve also thought about acting out scenes representing your weird ideas about beauty.”

It’s no surprise that there’s no malice in his voice when he say weird. Maybe it’s the difference between them: Bona is quick to judge and very much headstrong while Seokjin is so open for new things he welcomes even the oddest ideas.

“That could actually work but I'm not an actress.”

He flashes a warm smile.

“You're presentable. That's what matters.”

“Geez. Thanks,” she rolls her eyes and Jin laughs. He has a nice laughter without doubt. That kind of high-pitched giggles that makes everyone smile around him. His beautiful almond-shaped eyes turn into crescents and strangers stop on their track just to look at him. Not in the judging way but a curious one. Bona wonders whether he got any offer by modelling agencies.

“To be honest, I actually have a theatre major friend and he could bring along someone to play out your drabbles. Is it alright?” Seokjin suddenly sounds serious. His facial mimics are so expressive, Bona can easily pinpoint his mood… At least, she thinks she does. “Are you perhaps available on next Saturday?”

“Yeah. Saturday is good,” Bona notes it down in her schedule book. She just wants to get over with it. “What do you think about Han River as a location?”

Seokjin purses his mouth and touches his chin. His gaze averts outside of the window looking lost in his thoughts. “Isn't it too cliché? And crowded at the weekend?”

“Right,” she clicks her tongue in irritation. She would have been more grateful if he had actually did something instead of just criticising her ideas or occasionally accepting them. “Maybe Namsan then?”

Seokjin hums approvingly with a glint of happiness in his eyes. There’s a snippet of excitement in those chocolate brown orbs.

“That could work, the atmosphere and the lights are considered ideal. Where do you live? I'll pick you up.”

Bona has always been the suspicious kind. Careful with her private information so she doesn’t answer right away.

“You have a car?”

“Well, as a photographer I need it. I have a lot of equipment and I can’t carry a tripod on subway all the time,” Seokjin shrugs. His reasoning doesn’t sound like something mommy’s little boy would say. Maybe he really did work for what he has. Bona likes this idea more than she thinks she should.

“I live in the dorms on the east side of campus. I'll meet you there at 10.”

Jin’s smile is just like his laughter: bright, vivid and genuine. It makes her want to smile as well.

“There you go. Enjoy your treats,” Yoongi returns with a tray and two cups of coffee. They both thank him and it’s borderline awkward when he leaves too soon.

Then it happens. The door opens, the bell rings cheerfully and time freezes. Bona looks up ready to comment on Jin’s choice of place, but her face is painted white, all colours drained out. Voices mingle together and Jin's face fades away. Suddenly she feels dizzy.

“Hey, Bona? Do you hear me? Are you okay?” the low panic-painted grunt is coming from afar. It sounds slurred almost as if she was under water.

“I... I have to go,” she stutters and stumbles to her feet without having a slip of her drink. Her breathing is laboured, voice raw and it feels like the world collapses on her. Or it only happens in her?

Everything is a blur. The door, the street, the people. She doesn’t even know where she’s going. It doesn’t matter, just away. Away from him.

“Bona, wait!” Seokjin calls after her, catching up to her as if his life depended on it. He’s a little out of breath when he carefully touches her shoulder. Bona shakes him off impatiently and annoyed.

“Leave me alone.”

Gosh, why does her voice break? It’s hurting her ears. Doesn’t it enough that she’s already hurting everywhere else?

“No, I won't,” Jin counters and grabs her shoulders with a little bit more force to make her stop moving. Her eyes are red because she struggles not to cry. She looks terrified. “You look like you saw a ghost.”

“Because I just did. He's dead to me.” she says relentlessly and sobs while trying to hide behind her hands. Her voice is cracking and she can’t shake off the feeling of shame because of her public breakdown. “Oh God, I'm so pathetic.”

Seokjin shakes his head violently. He pries her hands off her face and lifts her head to look at her properly. Warm reassurance is swimming in his eyes, his fingers are soft against her skin and his voice is dripping honey.

“No, you're not. You can be weak sometimes and that doesn't mean you're any less strong.”

Bona is staring at him for a long time before she finally, finally let herself cry. Tears are soaking Seokjin’s pink dress shirt but he holds her close nevertheless. He soothes circles onto her back while she clings onto him silently asking him not to let go.

Things get better after. Even though Bona doesn't talk about what happened, she feels more at ease beside Jin. He acts like nothing wrong ever happened but from time to time he's more careful with his words. He's still blunt but don't blame her for being bitter anymore. He doesn't expect an explanation either. They start hanging out more. It begins with walking together to Creative Art class and sitting next to each other. Sometimes they share lunch boxes. Despite any of her protests, next thing Bona knows, she's having a coffee at the place Jin's roommate's working. Seokjin makes sure that she would sit with her back to the door in a little hidden corner.

It has also become a daily routine to talk via SNS if they can't meet. Seokjin often asks her to have a bite of every new receipt he tried out. She doesn't have to worry about food anymore. Also, she has to get used to being photographed almost every day. The guy takes his major seriously, always carrying around one of his cameras and snapping photos here and there. Bona hates taking selcas, she feels uncomfortable under the unknown gaze but Jin never demands her to pose. He likes to take photos of slices of life when she doesn't know. Like that time when she changed the burnt-out bulb in her dorm once he was over. Or when after they helped two foreigners on the street and she laughs at Jin's broken English. On every single picture he takes, she looks ephemeral and beautiful. Nonetheless, she makes him promise to delete these later. But deep-deep down her heart flatters because of his little habit. Although he may be the same with everyone since he likes to take photos in general. She wonders why it pains her.

Kim Seokjin: Are you ready?

Her phone pings on the day of their shooting. Bona is staring at her reflection in the mirror and wonders if Jin sees her differently. She's not that skinny or graceful like other girls. She hates wearing skirts and isn't really keen on shopping or going to cosmeticians. She can be quirky, picky and stubborn as a mule. She prefers superhero movies over stupid American comedies. Funnily, they bond over Disney movies and playing video games at Jin's place. They argue a lot about who's better but he has someone to play with and Bona always gets dinner so it's a win-win.

Bona never had guy friends before so she doesn't know what to feel about all of it or when Jin opens the car door for her like a gentleman. Inside of the car a cheerful voice of somebofy with boyish features greets her from the backseat.

“Dude, nice to meet you. I love the concept. Jin said it was your idea. Unique that's for sure.”

“Uhm, thanks?” Bona isn’t sure how to react. The boy introduces himself as Taehyung, a cute dongsaeng of Jin when the older starts the engines. He’s bubbly and way more talkative than the quiet girl with cold appearance next to him.

The drive is filled with Taehyung’s chirping, Seokjin’s laughter and not-so-subtle glances between Bona and the photographer. She can’t really pinpoint why but this shooting feels like the end of something. The end of this month when they had this bond or something. After this, there’s no project and no reason for them to hang out for its sake. What will happen to them after?

She tries to dismiss her concern during the shooting which goes surprisingly smooth. Jin gives her the upper hand to act like a director and give out orders. Meanwhile, he’s snapping pictures quietly and recording short scenes when she says so. They work well together and their ‘cast’ is talented too. At the end of the day, they can wrap it up nicely. She should be satisfied. Yet, she has this uneasiness in her heart for some unknown reasons.

The light footsteps and honey sweet voice take her by surprise.

“Tae said they would catch the bus home so they left early.”

Bona looks up to see Jin smiling lightly like he always does. It brings out his soft features which create a perfect contrast with his sharp jaw-line. She averts her gaze. Why does he have to be so sinfully handsome?

“Have you finished packing?” she asks instead of commenting on it. She stays completely still when Seokjin sits down next to her on the bench. There’s a convenient distance between them: not too far, not too close. Just like their relationship is on the edge between strangers and lovers. They’re somewhat friends but not really.

“Yeah and checked some of the videos. I’d give it a week to edit the material.”

Great, they will finish in time. She should be happy but she doesn’t say a word. Ahead of them the clear sky is swimming in carmine and crimson colours. There are no clouds, no threats of upcoming storms, no crowd. Birds’ singing and tourists’ murmuring are faded into the view.

Sunset from the top of Namsan Tower is indeed undeniably beautiful. Bona agrees however she still seeks for meaning. It doesn’t take too long to find it in the reflection in Seokjin’s eyes or in the melody of his voice. In him.

“I wanted to be an actor.”

His confession is so sudden and raw, Bona can’t help but stare at him. He doesn’t turn his head, eyes focusing on the scenery.

“It was my childhood dream and I actually applied to the uni’s theatre major. I thought I was good, at least mediocre but they rejected me. One of the judges said at the audition that I'm nothing more than a pretty face and they're looking for talent there. The bruise I got that day hurts every time I meet students who learn performing arts. You know, it’s like ripping off a bandage all over again.”

Then there’s silence and Bona’s throat is dry. She would have never thought that this warm-hearted boy of all people was discriminated because of his looks. He seems like someone who have been praised his all life and had everything served on a silver plate. Spoiled and narcissistic. Even though he’s confident in his face, he’s not egoistic at all. He spends most of his times behind his camera and not in front of one. He could easily become a model with his looks but he’d rather capture beauty through his lenses. It has always made her curious.

“Then how you got into photography?” she wonders out loud.

“That's actually a funny story. I got an old polaroid camera from my grandma when I was a child and I liked taking photos ever since. After they turned down my application, it was Yoongi who sent in a couple of my pictures. You can imagine how surprised I was to get a congratulation letter on my university entrance. I'm truly grateful to him, because now this is what I want to do all my life.”

Jin’s eyes light up as he talks about it. It’s obvious that he truly loves doing this. He catches Bona off guard when his gaze suddenly drifts to her but neither of them looks away. Under the starry Seoul sky, she can almost feel the breeze of ocean, a scent of home just by looking at him. He doesn’t feel real. Like a midsummer night's dream.

He doesn’t have to ask what’s her story. Bona tells him anyway,

“I’ve loved reading ever since I stumbled upon Harry Potter. I used to dream about becoming a famous writer. Now I know better, I’m not that talented but I want people to hear my voice. I know I can’t force world peace but I want to stop bullying and I wish people would be more considerate towards each other.” Wishful thinking, something only a dreamer would say. But Bona is one and she doesn’t even try to deny it. She casts down her eyes before continuing. “When I was a kid, I was mocked a lot because of my weight. By the end of high school I’d become thinner and Dojung noticed me.”

His name tastes like salt and regrets on her tongue. She’d like to spit it out. To forget and move on. Maybe telling someone about him would help. She wants to give it a try.

“He was the most beautiful boy I've ever seen,” Bona gulps loudly, her heart is already panicking at the thought of him. She can breathe again when a soft hand takes hers intertwining their fingers comfortingly. “I fell so hard. I was in love with his smile and everything about it. It took me a lot to figure out he's rotting inside. He manipulated me, making me skip dinners with family, abandoning my friends and studies just for him. Freshman year, he dumped me; he said I wasn't enough. I was alone and had a rough semester. I finally just started to get a hold of myself when you came along.”

It’s a mistake for sure but Bona dares to stare into Seokjin’s chestnut brown eyes. They’re passionate yet caring just like when he has a camera in his hands. The fondness in his dark orbs never fails to amaze her. He would never put pressure on her. He’s waiting patiently for her to collect her thoughts and open up. Bona drowns in his kindness.

“I had a hard time trusting you because you reminded me of him. You really don't have any similarities except the fact that both of you are beautiful.”

“That's offensive. I'm sure I'm way more handsome,” Seokjin gasps dramatically with his free hand on his heart pretending he’s offended. It makes her laugh.

“Probably you are but your flaws are my favourites. They show you’re human, too,” she says gently playing with his crooked fingers and admiring his lopsided smile.

But will she be ever enough? For him? For anyone?

During the following week, it’s hard to decide whether they’re friends or more. They never talk about it yet grow closer day by day. Their project video is finished in time so both of them claim their regular seats (now next to each other) in the lecture hall in ease.

Mrs. Son smiles at them knowingly when she enters the room. When she clears her throat, every pair of eyes focus on her.

“Good morning everyone,” she chirps and in the silence her footsteps are echoing in the room. “I’d like to thank you for all your submitted works, I love the different ways you interpreted beauty. Today we will discuss the three most creative and interesting projects.”

Excitement spreads among the students, murmuring about odds and grades. The whispering is fading away as soon as the professor switches on the computer to let them see her choices one by one.

“Look at these different interpretations and after we have seen all three, we’ll talk about them.”

The first project is an oil-painting. At first, it's really chaotic. The audience need a moment to realize the purpose of iridescent colours splattered on the canvas. The background is black and silver showing the universe, but there are Hangeul characters for the word beauty and it contains tiny replicas of famous paintings. It's the most beautiful collage Bona has ever seen.

The second one is a contemporary sculpture built of cosmetics bottles and cans. It symbolizes a women's submission to the beauty industry. Bona really likes this approach.

“And last but not least, my personal favourite! Miss Shin Bona and Mr. Kim Seokjin, congratulations! Your work was captivating and it reinvented the meaning of beauty.”

Others clap either cheerfully or not interested at all. Bona is so excited she grabs Jin's hand under the table without a second thought. His long slender fingers fit into hers perfectly like two pieces of puzzle.

Bona is proud looking at their short movie with Seokjin's actor friends. While they follow the screenplay she's written about siblings during the French Revolution. She's ready to clap after the last scene but then the boy next to her presses her hand a little while their movie keeps playing. She has seen the mp4 file he sent her the day before and it should have been the end. There shouldn't be clips about her. Although you can't really say it's her because she is never shown directly. Just her hands, back profile, eyes, smile... never her entire face. She’s smiling at the camera carefree and happy because she didn’t know Jin was planning to use this. There’s also voiceover, a monologue in Seokjin’s narration that takes her breath away.

When it ends for real, Bona doesn’t even hear Mrs. Son’s comment on the subjectivity of beauty and love, she’s storming out of the room. She can hardly breathe but it’s not a panic attack. It’s something else, something overwhelming.

“Bona, wait! I’m so stupid. I thought you’d like that. Sorry, okay? I-”

“I can't believe you did that,” she snaps at him when he finally catches up to her and both of them stand still in the empty hallways. Seokjin rubs the back of his head nervously.

“I thought it was romantic. I suck at confessions.”

“Really? And that was your idea? In front of the whole class?” she rolls her eyes but she can’t hide her smile anymore. It’s almost impossible to stay mad at him for long. “Gosh I can't believe I like such a dork. “

“I like you more.”

He says it so casually, so genuinely open that it makes her heart flatter. She can hear the pounding of her heart in her ears. She clears her throat, suddenly antsy but instantly relaxed when he touches her wrist lightly like a butterfly kiss.

“So… to answer your question: I’d love to. It just caught me off guard.”

Seokjin’s relieved laugh must be one of the most beautiful things of the world. Maybe the 8th wonder. “Huh, I’m glad then. I was so afraid I misread you.”

“And what now?” Bona questions because they’ve already done so many things couples do. Except anything involved kissing or talking about feelings.

“What about an official couple selca?” Jin suggests and digs out his cellphone from his pocket.

“So boyfriend material,” she teases but there’s no edge in her voice. It’s soft and adoring.

“What can I say? Photography major,” his boyfriend shrugs and prepares for the shoot nevertheless. Scooting closer, making a fishy face and starts counting. “Okay, on three: one...”

Pose.

“Two...”

Click.

“Three!”

Kiss.

Wait! WHAT?

Pink plump lips touch her already flushed cheeks and the camera snaps.

“Yah!”

beauty /ˈbjuːti/ noun

a combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

a beautiful or pleasing thing or person in particular

Beauty. It's everywhere around us.

Beauty is independence when she's cooking alone. She could ask for the help of a mother's or a friend's but she decides not to. She can do it all by herself.

Beauty is equality when she insists to pay for her share in a coffee shop or when she changes a light bulb on her own because she doesn't need a man.

Beauty is freedom when she forgets about deadlines and burdens for a day and just has fun.

Beauty is justice when she gives herself instead of faking it and beats my ass at Mario Kart.

Beauty is complex, ethereal, strong, unique. Just like her. Her features. Even her flaws. The depth of her soul. She's more than enough.

Beauty is love when I look at her and offer my hand. Love is beauty when she looks back at me and meets me halfway.

That’s beauty: you and me together, today and tomorrow… if you would like to.

#bangtan bookclub #sfwbangtan #bts writing squad #btswriters #stories #look what i found another piece i forgot to post here #bts fluff #bts jin fluff #kim seokjin x oc #bts jin oneshot #bts oneshot #photographer au #college au

72 notes · View notes

topicprinter · 7 years ago

Link

For those of you unfamiliar with the backstory, in 2014 I started a trucking company by selling 10% of an idea to a friend for $10,000.Year 1 Update Post Year 2 Update PostOriginally, I was not going to provide an update post. However, many members of the /r/entrepreneur subreddit and of the /r/truckers subreddit have messages requesting updates to my story or to simply check-in; so many, in fact, that I thought it would be selfish to not continue to document my trip into insanity. Before beginning, however, I want to point out that this post simply cannot be as detailed as the previous two. I will do my best to include pertinent details, but so much has changed that I do not have a detailed timeline and cannot remember all the little details that I think many members appreciated in the previous posts. I apologize for that up-front.As a quick summary of where we ended our Year 2 Update: * Fall of 2015 we partnered with a full time mechanic shop and saw great results * I was debating keeping my full-time job (Mergers & Acquisitions), but hesitant to do so because I needed the reliable income * I hired a family friend to fill in for me so that I could keep my job * I hired my mother to handle mail, checks, and various paperwork * I purchased trucks, bringing our fleet to 8-9 trucks * I projected 2016 Revenue goal of $1,250,000 to $1,500,000 * I projected 2016 EBIT of $21,0002016 2016 Tax Return2016 was an interesting ride. Unfortunately, I do not have a log of events, so bear with me as I stumble through the major moves that were made.To start, I grew the owned truck fleet to 9 trucks. I had no intention of doing that and, to be honest, the reason we did is very foolish. I purchase all equipment from Ritchie Bros. auctioneers. Up until 2016, my silent partner had seen absolutely nothing regarding his investment. He had not seen the trucks, he did not know our mechanic, he had never met an employee, never seen our route, and certainly had never gone to an auction. I was determined to grab his interest, so I had him visit our location, see the units he's invested in, and meet our employees. The meeting went perfectly and he was instantly hooked, with the overarching thought being "holy shit, I cannot believe you turned my $10k into this". With another auction coming up, he was eager to go with me and purchase a much needed trailer. We had 7-8 trucks at the time, but we were consistently a trailer short, so that was the only goal of the auction. Buy a trailer.Unfortunately, we would not end up buying a trailer at that auction. When scouting the auction I noticed two very, very clean Peterbilt trucks sitting on the dead item row. For those unfamiliar, the auction will drive your equipment across a stage for it to be bidded on. To see two matching units look that clean on the dead row was odd... so I took the opportunity to show my partner how to inspect the trucks, confident that I would find something that I could show him and expertly chime-in with "look right here, this is why we can't buy this unit". Except... there was nothing wrong with them. They started right up. Paint was good. Interior was good. Everything was well kept. They had new tires... it was clear someone took care of these trucks. The auction wasn't until the following day, so I figured I'd get my partner excited and go through the steps pretending like we would buy them, but then ultimately pass when they inevitably got too expensive for us.I left that auction with two 2006 Peterbilt 379's for $20,000 apiece, an insane steal on the most popular trucks in my section of the trucking industry.At this stage of the year we now have 9-10 trucks but only 7 trailers. One of my customers books 1-3 trucks a day and provides us with a trailer, so as long as they booked at least 2, then every asset was able to run. That almost immediately didn't happen and I was starting to have irritated drivers who had to sit at home simply because I didn't supply them with the correct equipment. The problem was short lived, as I quickly purchased another trailer to remedy the issue, bringing us to 9-10 owned trucks, 8-9 trailers, and 2-3 lease trucks.. a good balance.That is the make-up of our fleet during these next segments of the story. Because I cannot remember the exact timeline, I am going to post each key story individually instead of chronologically.Working Two Jobs Is Easy..For those of you who have followed my previous update, you know that I worked in investment banking (specifically M&A) while growing/managing the trucks. In January of 2016 I confided in my immediate friends and family that I was confident in 2016 I would be terminated from my IB job. I can 100% confidently say that I was extremely good in the job that I held, but there were some red flags popping up that were alarming to me.The first red flag is that Worldwide M&A activity (fell) 23 percent. Our firm just came off a record year and immediately tried to ride the boom that M&A felt towards the end of 2015. Overall, I would bet our employee count increased by 30% or more, mostly in non-revenue generating support staff. Times were good and the profits were fat, why not go on a hiring binge and try to aggressively fix the firms existing issues? My first update post can tell you exactly why this was a bad idea. Just like the company I was working for, in 2014 I wanted to ride the wave of success and greatly overextended myself, leading to a cash shortage that would haunt me for the entirety of 2015. Knowing how poorly it worked out for me... what would the same process look like from within a large company? My guess was not too great, so I needed to get my ducks in a row. The warning signals very quickly started going up. All employees had their goals increased to irrational levels, bonus pay was cut, harsher managers were put in place, and "counseling" sessions were becoming a thing.By the time I had my first counseling session with my 3 immediate bosses I had already decided that I wanted to ride the job out as long as they wanted to keep paying me. The conversation was basically "we love having you here, you're great with clients and produce good work, but you aren't meeting our new quotas so this is your first warning". My response was direct and simple: "you guys have been good to me. Let's not drag this out for 3 months. If you want me here I will gladly continue working. If you do not, then let's just part ways now and save ourselves the trouble". All 3 were overwhelmingly against that, so I stayed. I met my goal the first month, but not the second. The second meeting was very to the point: "meet your quota or you'll be let go".Obviously, at this stage I'm starting to get a little anxious. While trucking made some money, I would need to take a 50% pay cut in order to do it full time. There were two opportunities to fix my situation. The first, was that I was a lead candidate for a promotion to VP due to relationships I had built with the hiring team, despite my current performance. However, moving across country would mean that I would have to give up the business... something I wouldn't do. The second, is that I just do my freakin' job so they don't have to fire me. I opted for the second choice and I busted my ass. I nearly doubled the quota. Unfortunately, the client has to sign off on the document before it's counted. Literally, all I needed was a signature saying "good to go". * Client 1, changed his financials in the final stage, completely negating all previous work I had done. * Client 2, Vacation out of the country during my quota week, unreachable. * Client 3, Vacation out of the country during my quota week, unreachable. * Client 4, had a stroke or heart attack, putting him in the hospital and unreachable. * Client 5, Submitted. * Client 6, Submitted.With a goal of 3 and only 2 submitted, I failed to reach my goal. That Thursday they called me into the office and let me go. My big boss, who I still appreciate, said "You will not like this decision today, but I think you will thank me for it later". Beyond those words, I simply gathered my stuff and gtfo. I had built relationships with the people I wanted to be around outside of the office and no one else deserved a goodbye, so I dipped.I then went back to my expensive IB apartment in my expensive IB funded truck and tried not to have a mental breakdown over the fact that my life was about to significantly change, for better or for worse. In the end, I opted to relocate to run the business full time. I left the expensive city behind, took my paycut, and got to work trying to support myself.Hiring Family FriendsLet's cut back to earlier in the year, when I hired a family friend to book freight. This family friend proved himself to me by landing what is currently my #2 customers account for me. Having done it once, it stands to reason that he could do it again. I brought him on with a small base salary and a commission.Things started strong. He would report back meetings he was having (at this time I was still in another city) and things sounded great. Slowly but surely, the complaints starting coming in from drivers. The freight being booked was terrible, often times leaving us in a more expensive bind to get out of than if we had simply not taken the load. Nothing was coordinated well. He had a totally different managing style than I did, so employees started refusing to talk to him because of the way they were being treated. Eventually, I took back management and told him that his new role is only to find new accounts. That's it. He didn't do it. I gave him 3 months to get freight to book one truck daily... nothing; another 3 months, nothing; then another month with a firm deadline and similar counseling to that which I had received... and his wife (my moms best friend) becomes extremely sick. Obviously, I can't release this guy. At this stage I had moved back to manage the business. In no way did I need him. I was dispatching and managing on my own. His only job was to find freight, which he wasn't doing, but now for sure he wouldn't be able to do as he takes a medical leave.I could not afford to pay him. I lost my job and was paying him to do nothing. I needed that salary to keep wheels turning, keep a roof over my head, and I could not afford to keep him on any longer. So, I approached him with a deal: 2% royalties on the freight previously earned in perpetuity with a generous severance and an immediate cessation of his employment. I then offered to buy his 2% royalty from him. It blew up in my face, as was expected, and I was a huge asshole to anyone that heard only his side of the story. But, ultimately, the move worked out and provided me an important lesson: Do not make the success of your business dependent on people you care about. Sure, hire your nephew at $10/hr on some piddly work, but don't hire Uncle Bob because when he doesn't show up you're going to be the only one who loses.Summary of 2016Even with those set-backs, 2016 went well and set us up for success. Yes, I was fired from my first big boy job... but now I was working full-time with the business and seeing tremendous results from the extra hands-on time. Throughout 2016 we focused on efficiency, up-time, and simply tightening everything up. I worked closely with the mechanic hired in 2015 to improve his processes. Moved him into a shop of his own. I went through a preliminary DOT audit and passed with flying colors. I improved our organization, hiring process, training, restructured our fleet to improve fuel mileage, increased work volume at both customer locations, and laid the foundation for a strong 2017.2017: Improve Efficiency, Clean-Up, and Double DownI remember more of 2017. We started the year out extremely lean, but the rest of the business was a mess. I was using Wells Fargo, which was absolutely horrendous. I had no access to capital outside of family in friends. I was having to borrow tens of thousands of dollars from those close to me just to keep our working capital up. I had inconsistent equipment that was hard to work on. Things were starting to deteriorate with the mechanic.. he wasn't keeping up with repairs, repairs were sloppily done, and there was rumor that he was saying unfavorable things about me and my company. Finally, and most importantly, I had decided that I wanted to become a freight broker, not just a carrier.Wells Fargo SucksThere cannot be a more appropriate title. Wells Fargo was awful. I was not effected by the creation of new accounts and whatnot, but I was effected by their stingy and unsupportive lending practices as well as excessive fees. Everything had a fee. Depositing a check? Fee. Need to send money online? Fee. Want to have a checking account? Fees. Oops, too many transactions. Fee. We sent you a new credit card without telling you and auto-removed you from auto-payments? Should've been paying attention. Fees.Goal #1 of 2017 was to ditch the Hell-hole that was Wells Fargo and pursue a local bank. I had always heard the entrepreneurs I worked with in IB say "oh, my banker knows me. I just buy things and then we work it out later" or something to that effect. I wanted that. I wanted a banker that knew me by name. That knew the highschool I went to. Whose kids were in the community. Who would call just to see if there's anything he could do to help me. So, I got to searching.Here are the documents that I used to pitch my business to the banks: * 2014, 2015, and 2016 Interim Financial Statements * Professional Presentation of Banking Requirements * Professional Company ProfileIn my opinion, if an entrepreneur walks into a bank without the information I listed above, in a format similar to the format that I provided, then they are wasting their time. Business bankers sit in an office and listen to junk business ideas all day. They've already met with Random Joe's 6 times that week and heard everything from a fruit canning empire to a teenager's lawn business. What makes you any different? I had a 100% success rate on getting in meetings with legitimate bankers with these documents. Then, when in the meeting, every single one of them commended me on the package and said something along the lines of "you have obviously thought this through and know your business, tell me how I can best help you". It was at that time that I referenced the Banking Requirements document and simply had a conversation about my goals, asked them to be straightforward in their concerns, then addressed their concerns.In total, I met with 4 local bankers at 4 banks. One banker promised me the world and strung me along for 2 months until I gave him an ultimatum and he decided the deal wasn't worth his time; one banker never returned my calls after the meeting (admittedly, it was my worst meeting); and two bankers gave me offers, in some form, of everything that I was requiring. Do yourself a favor and when you go to a banker, show them that you are taking the meeting and your business seriously. Come prepared with everything they will ask for and come dressed well. It's much easier to believe someone will succeed when you see that they are putting in effort.** Two Bank Offers**At this point in time I had two competing offers. The main criteria for selecting a bank was obtaining an open Line of Credit secured by receivables. At this point in time I was completely self financed. I had well over $50,000 in receivables at any given time, tying up $50,000 of my cash and completely stifling any extra growth. In addition, I wanted to add a brokerage. In simple terms, the brokerage would just act as a middle man. I pay trucks before the customer pays, they pay me a commission for finding work and early payment. But... I knew that I couldn't do that if I didn't have cash to finance myself, let alone bring in other equipment and finance them as well. A Line of Credit is a bank saying "here is $100,000. We know that your receivables are $X.XX. If you have $100,000 in receivables, we will loan you $80,000". I'll explain this a little more later on, but in that situation I would have $80,000 in extra cash. My customer pays every 2 weeks. That means I can safely book $40,000 in freight a week at a 10% commission.. earning $4,000 in profit per week.Back to the banks. One offer was from my main customers bank, which makes sense. From their perspective, if the main customer fails then I fail, but if they succeed then I succeed. If the bank is already willing to lend millions to my main customer, then adding a $100,000 line of credit on the same risk profile is simply doubling down on a risk that they have already taken. They offered me a $50,000 line of credit. My second offer was from a my favorite bank of all that I met with. The banker was genuinely interested in the business, he was asking pertinent questions to try to understand and, most importantly, you can tell that he believed not only in the current business, but in the brokerage AND in me. In every meeting he emphasized "I want to be the bank that you call because you had a random business idea and you want to make it real. When you buy a house, I want my number to be the one you dial. I want first dibs on everything you do and I want to be your banker for a long time". Sold. His offer came in at exactly what I asked for and more. He provided me the full $100,000 line of credit and asked to refinance all my equipment.It was the easiest yes I've had since being in business. Throughout acquiring equipment I had puzzle-pieced together loans in order to put more tires under a load. I had one loan at a 17% interest rate. I had two loans that required an interest+principal payoff no matter when I paid it off (I owed every dollar of interest to be due). I didn't care. I wanted out from under the 10+ lenders I had and I wanted to show this banker that I was serious, so I gave him everything. Within two months he had 95% of my debt and 100% of the business was going through him. It has been an amazing relationship so far. They are the complete opposite of Wells Fargo. At Wells Fargo if I applied for a credit card increase, for example, you can apply in person or online, but it all goes to the same credit analyst who says "account not old enough, reject". If I wanted equipment, it was an instant reject because they don't finance the equipment I need. In fact, the bank had the balls to tell me "If you give us $5,000 to hold we will give you a $5,000 line of credit at x% interest". Re-read that line, I know I had to. They wanted me to give them $5,000 for the right to borrow $5,000 from them. They were going to charge me interest on my own money and disguised it as "having an open credit account increases your chances of being approved in the future". Pardon my language, but FUCK THAT. To date, that is the shittiest deal I have ever heard. I had to explain to the Wells Fargo banker why that deal was terrible, which is ridiculous. In contrast, I called my banker on a Monday and asked for an increase from $100,000 to $200,000 on my line of credit. We had a meeting Wednesday. The following Friday I had been approved for a $225,000 line of credit ($25,000 more than I asked for) simply because the banker thought I was underestimating what I needed.Find a Local Bank. It's worth it.What is a Brokerage and why do you keep talking about it?In laymen terms, a freight broker is someone who finds work for another truck. I do not own the asset. I make no claims to it. The truck can work wherever it wants. I simply find work and then "sell" it to the open market at a discount. I am a middle man. I build relationships with a company and, as a result, they call me with work. I then build relationships with carriers who call me looking for work. I put the two together and that is the end of my role as a broker. In addition to being a broker, I self-factor for the carrier that haul for me. Many carriers can not float 3 weeks+ worth of bills. So, they use factoring companies that essentially buy their invoices at a discounted rate. Pretend you're owed $10,000 in 3 weeks. They'll give you $9,500 today, but they will keep the $10,000 when it comes in.This business model is what I originally started the company for. In my first post, in the first reference to the idea, I said 'originally, my plan was to operate as a broker for trucks that haul aggregate'. It took a while, and I took a roundabout way to get there, but after 3 years of trucking I finally became a broker as I orignally intended.We started the brokerage early in the year and immediately had local interest. My company has a strong reputation for the two most important criteria to local truckers: 1) I always pay and 2) I have more work than everyone else. It did not take long for people to hear that I was bringing in outside haulers. By March of 2017 I had 21 outside trucks registered, along with my 9, bringing me to an available fleet of 30. That said, I did not have a line of credit yet, so I only booked 12-14 total trucks. As of today, we have a total of 90 outside haulers registered and our best day had 37 trucks hauling for us; on average, we have 25 trucks running under our name.The business model is simple: customer gives me freight, I give it to trucks. But, the execution can be tricky and it requires intense budget management. Revisiting the Line of Credit example, I started with $100,000. Now.. I know that my receivables have to be 20% higher than the amount I'm borrowing. In other words, I have to self-finance the 20% on top of the $100k. If I wanted to max out the line of credit, then I would need to have $25,000 in cash (100,000/0.8 = 125,000 - 100,000 = $25,000). Done deal, I had that covered.My customer pays every 2 weeks. I can officially book $125,000 every two weeks and never run out of money. Here's the timeline for that: * Week 1: Bill Customer $62,500 * Week 2: Bill Customer $62,500 * Week 3: Bill Customer $62,500, Receive $62,500 from CustomerBased on the above, I would keep my balance at $0.00 and be able to profit $6,250 per week... until I completely screw up my reputation to pay my drivers because a customer pays late. While it is true that 90% of the time I am paid within two weeks, making the above example ok 90% of the time, whenever the customer doesn't process checks because employees were sick, or because they are waiting to get paid, or whatever other reason then I will have to call truckers and explain to them why their house payment isn't going through. Protip: no one gives a shit as to why they aren't getting paid. All they see is that they aren't getting paid. It's because of that, that I decided my minimum threshhold would be to pretend that the customer pays every 3 weeks. Instead of $62,500 every week, my maximum booked must be under $42,000 ($125,000/3). In my opinion, the long-term success of the business heavily depended on word of mouth reputation and I had to be 100% certain I would not screw that up.I begin booking freight and while I'm making good money, making more would be better. There are four immediate solutions to working capital issue: * Ask for a bigger line of credit * Borrow from friends/family * Reinvest Profits * Create a new commission structureI decided rather quickly that option one was not a real option. The bank had gone above and beyond everything I could have hoped for, returning to them to immediately ask for more would look selfish and immature. I needed to let the business prove itself to the bank on it's own. Option 2 is the very reason I went to get a line of credit in the first place and was not something that I wanted to pursue. If I was going to fail, I absolutely did not want to drag those closest to me down with me.Option 3 and Option 4Option 3 was the easiest solution to implement. I was earning $3-5,000 in profit per week. This is equivilant to financing 1 truck for 1 week. Given my 3 week financing rule previously discussed, I knew that every 3 weeks I could add a truck. While not bad, that was painfully slow and I was letting work go every day that I would otherwise be able to book.In comes option 4. There are two parts to what I do: Find work and Finance Work. While looking at my ever growing carrier list I started to notice that not all carriers were small... some were actually quite large. Large companies don't need to get paid immediately and can quite often wait on payment. If I could convince some carriers to get paid after I get paid then my growth curve was infinite. I could book them with no financing. I could pay them only after the money has hit my account, so I was out zero dollars, and I could still charge a commission for finding work. I offered these customers a 2% discount and immediately had around 10 trucks sign up for the discount. If I was booking 15 trucks before, now I could safely book 25 trucks because I knew that I didn't have to finance the extra 10. Suddenly, my little hole in the wall carrier was becoming a major carrier in the local market.This continued for a good while and the profits kept rolling in. As I am sure many of you can guess, more was never enough. Finally, a business of mine was making some serious cash. Life changing cash. It was significantly less work, had a higher profit margin than me owning the trucks, and I had to deal with none of the problems that the carrier side of the business had to deal with. "My engine blew up, it needs an overhaul" is a $10,000 phone call to take as a carrier and a "I'm sorry to hear that" as a broker.More than that, I was finally making the change to the industry I was seeking to make. I hate the way I was treated by brokers as a carrier. I promised my drivers I would be the exact opposite of what they are used to and to-date that is what I have delivered. I am 100% honest with the trucks. I pay on-time, every-time. If there's ever an error, I try to go above and beyond to fix it. I treat them with respect. More than that, I offer them free consulting. I teach them how to bid runs. I tell them all my 'secrets'. I run ads to find them drivers when they aren't able to do so on their own. I do my best to make them succeed instead of trying to milk them for every dollar. I do things transparently and as a member of their team. I try to remember that they hired me, not the other way around.As of this post, my brokerage has moved $1,509,446.19 worth of freight and has retained $111,917.56 in profit. In our best week ever, the brokerage moved $85,536.79 worth of freight... earning approximately $8,000... and I was on a beach in Costa Rica at the time.Brokerage seems to be doing well, what about the carrier?The carrier I am a little less excited about. It is doing as well as it ever has and, to date, we have done $1,103,694.61 in revenue. We will likely finish the year at $1.3 million, maybe a little less.This year has been rocky for the trucks, no doubt attributed to the fact that I have significantly less motivation to own a truck when I make more letting someone else own the truck and just managing it. But, there have also been a number of issues along the way that have depressed my interest in owning trucks.First and foremost, this year we have had several accidents. My stomach has never dropped quicker than answering a 7 am phone call and a driving groaning on the phone "I just hit a car, it's bad. I'm at this location". My truck, and 84,000 pound machine, slammed into the back of an idle car with an 80+ year old man in it. I was convinced that the driver of the car would not make it and was panicking as I drove to the scene of the accident. I could almost see the last three years turning into nothing. I pulled up to the scene and it was not great, but it certainly was not as bad as the driver made it seem. He was driving down a road at around 50 miles per hour. The driver in front of him was over a hill, sitting, waiting to turn without a blinker engaged. You can see my trucks skid marks for well over 400 yards. The driver smashed the back half of the car and the driver of the car was refusing to get into the ambulance. I did not speak to the man, as instructed by insurance, but I cannot tell you the relief that I felt when I saw that he was walking and going to be fine. In the end, the man walked away from the accident and refused to file a lawsuit against me. My insurance replaced his car and the incident was settled. You guys want to talk about a good man? This man is 80 years old. He was in an accident with a fully loaded semi. In today's litigious society, he quite literally could have ruined my life by burying my business in front of a Jury. He would have won, too. As someone who has been through (and rejected) the shady industry that is personal injury lawyers, I know that he could have had a large 6 figure settlement. But, he didn't. He wasn't hurt, though he was sore, so he didn't do what 9/10 of us would be tempted to do.That was a wake up call. I had 9 of these on the road at that time. Every day, at any given time, there was 750,000 pounds on the road just waiting for a a car to run a stop sign, or anything else.So, once drivers started dropping out I stopped rehiring. I starting selling off trucks. I currently have 6 units. The goal is to keep every driver that helped build the business for as long as he wants a job. I am adamant about not letting anyone go just to sell their truck. In the next year, half of those drivers are looking to buy their own truck. I will help them through every stage of the process (which I've done for two previous drivers) and when they get their truck I'm sure I will be near the top of the list for brokers they want to haul for. Once they've transitioned out, I will sell the equipment.Another strong motivator was losing my dedicated mechanic. About 6 months ago my mechanic came to me, burned out, stressed out, and wanting to change careers. He told me that he wanted to stop fixing trucks and take a shot at building a trucking operation just like I did. It was clear from the previous few months that this wasn't a conversation where I could convince him to stay, so I opted to support his decision. I helped him get his carrier set up, let him use my trailers, provided quality runs, things like that. However, on the inside I was panicking. I had 9 trucks without a mechanic and knew no other mechanics. Dealership bills were 2x the price of what I was used to paying. If I didn't find a solution, the trucking division would be bankrupt within 6 months.But, I must have one Hell of a guardian angel, because a driver who I had confided in called the very next day with good news. "I'm inside the parts store just bs'ing and I have someone who asked to talk to you". From that phone call I gave the guy some test work. He exceeding expectations. I gave him more work. He crushed it. Finally, I called him and offered him all the work if he'd reduce his rates. All of a sudden, the impending tragedy turned into a saving grace as I found a mechanic who, while more expensive per hour, performed higher quality work, had no problem being on call, who was hungry to earn money, and had a strong reputation at all parts vendors. Jackpot.What's Next?The brokerage is absolutely what my focus in on. We are super lean at this time, which allows me to keep most of our profits, but stifles future growth. We need to diversify our customer base. We need to add to our fleet of brokered trucks. We need better dispatching and control systems. We need better invoicing and AR processes. Individually, I believe I can do all of these things. Unfortunately, I cannot do them all at the same time. Currently, I am debating whether or not I want to risk expanding by hiring support staff (including risking another sales person) or if I simply want to ride things out with my current customer for a few years, put back cash, and take a calmer approach to investing by starting other passive businesses or investing into real estate. I am currently undecided.ConclusionLong-term business is not as exciting as the original posts I made, but hopefully there is still some useful tips that entrepreneurs can pull from. This post is kind of a downer, talking about getting fired, firing people close to me, traffic accidents, bad decisions, etc. I briefly considered putting a more positive spin on it, but I think it's important to show that not all parts of the entrepreneurs journey are pretty. In fact, they are absolutely gut wrenching at times. Hopefully this post doesn't come off as a sob story, but rather shows the realistic side to "earning $8,000 while sitting on a beach on Costa Rica". Fuck yea it's awesome, but painting only that rosy picture is dishonest and irresponsible.Last year I closed my post by saying "just do it". Just start a business and see what happens. For those of you that followed my advice, I hope that you've found nothing but success. For those of you still struggling, know even the asshole bragging in a facebook video about his "beach office" has shitty days. Entrepreneurs exist to fix other peoples problems, so it stands to reason that you'll have problems of your own. I can't tell you that pushing forward is 100% right every time, but I can tell you that no one gets to sit their ass in the sand without at least trying.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

0 notes

elizabethschoices · 7 years ago

Text

#LoveHacks Book 2, Chapter 2: My Thoughts

We start the chapter off as Sereena, and we’re meeting everyone at The Zone, which is our temporary new bar. Brooke is mother henning Sereena because she is starting school the next day and is drinking the night before. Sereena brushes off Brooke’s concern with a comment on how you don’t use the term ‘school nights’ anymore when you’re in grad school. Then she proceeds to angrily tell Brooke that grad students are made of caffeine and stress, and therefore she should add onto it by giving herself a hangover. I hate Sereena.

Ah hell, Horatio got a job at The Zone. If he feels like this is his future, fine. I feel he’s being over-dramatic about the fire at The Double Tap, but I won’t bring him down. Can you get me drinks for free?

Technically he can, but I don’t think he should. He says he’d get fired, so no free ride for Sereena. Good. Pay your own way, bitch.

Sereena asks Horatio why he’s working at The Zone, and it’s all my fault because I convinced him it was fate that brought him there. MC argues that this isn’t what she mean, especially if he isn’t happy. So Horatio admits he’s unhappy, but basically claims it doesn’t matter because... The universe wants him to be there.

Ohh, the boys arrive, including my Ben!!!

Horatio repeats his practiced line to them and admits that he is contractually bound to say the line to every customer. Cole seems happy as he orders three beers for himself, his bestie, and his ‘golden goose.’

Cole, I don’t know what you want from my man, but stay the hell away. I already hardly like you. We will scrap for him and his innocence. I am not allowing you to use him for whatever project you’ve come up with.

DO NOT TOUCH HIS HAIR ONLY I GET TO TOUCH BEN’S HAIR DAMMIT!

My heart! Ben is such a sweetie. I love him and that he acknowledges his worthiness as a golden goose. :) He’s certainly my golden goose in this otherwise horrible series.

Oh yeah, they’re making a webcomic together. Forgot all about that. Maybe you should have put that in the recap, eh Pixelberry?

I’ll tell them to get a room only because I hope it makes Ben profess his adoration for MC.

Cole gets it! Ben is a sweetheart I must protect, no matter the cost.

Dammit Ben, don’t take the compliment, kiss me and talk about how you’re all mine!

Cole says he’s excited because of the success with the ComicFeed app. He says tens of thousands of people are getting one of Ben’s daily exclusive comic strips. I hope the daily thing doesn’t take too much of a toll on Ben. It’s hard to live up to deadlines like those. I’d hate for us to break up later on in the story because he’s under so much pressure and stress that he doesn’t have time for me, because I’d legit feel sad. And angry. Really angry.

Even Mark downloaded their app, and just so happens to be chuckling at his phone now. He’s relating to Ben’s coffee drinking comic, which can only mean tons of other people are, as Mark is basic as hell and so is most of the world.

I’m proud that Ben is succeeding! His phone rings and he says he’s gotta take the call, so he rushes out. I wonder who it is. It’s obviously important. Is it someone that’ll help boost his career even more?

Mark congratulates Cole on the success, to which Cole merely recommends Mark create his own side project. He says he knows for a fact that Mark’s still got some version of ‘Dopey Cat’ on his phone. Df is Dopey Cat?

A game he made up in college. Sereena is surprised that Mark has the ability to do something fun on a computer, and I’m inclined to agree with her. All in all, Mark has been boring in the time we’ve known him these past two books.

Mark, saying you do ‘cool stuff’ all the time means you do not do cool stuff ever.

Cole makes Mark open up the game and omg.

I don’t even know which one to pick.

Dis one.

Brooke gushes over how cute the cat is. Sereena, for a lack of desire of being stupid because the game is called Dopey Cat why the fuck else would it look derpy, will tell Mark that it’s so cute, she wants to punch him.

MC jokes that Mark had a similar expression on his face during some elctures throughout college, and Horatio is finally the one asking the important question. What’s the gameplay like?

He eats food to save the world. Okie then.

20 diamonds to play a game inside a game? No thanks. I’ll pass.

Cole says Mark should make more levels of the game and put it up on the app store. How do you even make an app, much less put it on the app store? I’ve never really thought about it before, but now I’m curious.

Mark says he’ll give it a try and Brooke is excited for it. Suddenly, a commotion that I suspect is sports related breaks out on the other side of the room.

OH SHIT EVEN BETTER THERE’S A FIGHT THAT WAS PROBABLY OVER SPORTS!

Horatio breaks up the fight and explains to the group that the fighting is normal for the bar. Sereena points out a help wanted sign. I think the fandom should hold up a ‘Most Wanted 2′ sign. Sereena tells Horatio that the torn sign could be the literal sign he’s looking for. His help is no longer wanted at The Zone. He goes off and quits. It’s sad that he is so easy to manipulate.

And, as usual, Sereena is a conceited bitch that is more concerned about alcohol than the fact that her friend is jobless.

We switch to the next day and we’re playing our MC now. Anyone else less-than-happy with the fact that we just kinda dropped Ben? He went out for a phone call and never returned. Who was he on the phone with? Clearly it had to be for a reason, otherwise it’s just bad storytelling and he never should have come to the bar in the first place.

Leah and MC are meeting up for their very first company meeting. Does it have a name? Nope, as that’s the first thing Leah says we should do. She says it should be something chic and refined. Oh fuck me, I have to name it. I’ll just steal my babe’s company name.

Stark Industries.

Only I had to take the space out due to the character limit. Leah accepts the name and then suggests we get our mission statement straight so we don’t turn into another ClickIt.

I think Stark Industries should be about giving a unique perspective.

Fucking A, can I please stop reading about the dehumanization of straight, white males in every piece of literature I read? What happens if a straight, white male happens to enjoy this game, PB? You completely shut them out with that line for merely existing. And for the record, I see far more things against them in the media than anything else.

Please keep politics out of games like these.

The girls start talking about their articles and MC says they should be up and running by the end of the week. Leah is now going to tell us about her sister. Out of all moments to provide a glimpse of at the end of the last chapter, PB, why this one? Takes all the fun out of it. At least cut it before the reveal. Or do something like Ben’s departure from the group as he goes to answer the phone.

Aww, Leah’s sister is adorable!

I don’t really think Andi looks just like Leah, but I’ll pick that one because my MC and Leah barely know each other, so why would she have told me her personal business like that?

She looks just like you!

Leah says she’s got some friends of the family caring for Andi while she gets settled in New York, but they can’t keep her forever. So this business has really gotta work, then, because she needs money not only for herself, but her sister.

It’s about 4 o’clock, and Leah video chats with her sister at about this time. I’m sure we’ll meet Andi another time, plus I don’t want to spend 16 diamonds on this, so on second thought, I think my roommates will be home soon.

We transition to the evening, where we’re making some tea as someone is at the door. Is it Ben? Or maybe Keo for Brooke. Or one of the guys from our gang? Possibilities are endless. Hell, could be Martin or TJ.

IT’S BEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!

We kiss his cheek and let the man inside. He says he’s got big news! What is it, baby? Got some big deal put together? You gonna get super rich and famous?

The people who called Ben were the Venus Corps publishers, and since they had a last-minute cancellation, they invited him to speak at a panel at Hero Con! Aww, my baby is moving up in the world!

Congrats! That’s awesome!!!

He’s getting to speak at the biggest comic entertainment convention in the world! AHHHH I LOVE MY GEEK!!!

They sent him two passes for it, and it’s tis coming weekend. He invites us to go with him! AS A DATE!!!

YAY WE’RE GOING TO HERO CON WITH THE SWEETEST LOVE INTEREST WE’VE ENCOUNTERED YET! FUCK ME I CAN’T WAIT FOR FRIDAY!

Sereena is late for her first class and she bumps into a pretty lady. She’s immediately taken by her. Will this lead to Brooke and Sereena drifting apart because they have new partners?

Isn’t she pretty?!

Until next time!

#lovehacks #lovehacks book 2 #choices #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #playchoices #my thoughts #my review #my opinion #my choices #elizabethschoices

0 notes

jessestoddard · 8 years ago

Text

Welcome to Chapter 8 of my blog-to-book project: Life After High School: Secrets To A Successful Life By Those Who Have Had Twenty Years To Think About It (or) What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. This chapter is called The Apartment. If you missed the last post, click here, otherwise, you can start at the beginning here.

I decided to get out of the dorm and get my own place. The Apartment was on 43rd and Brooklyn in the University District. It was a fantastic top floor condo with a view of downtown. I lived there for something like thirteen years, with all kinds of roommates on and off. At one point my “sister” (cousin) Stacie was a roommate. She was doing well at the time with a great job but partied a bit hard at night. I did what I could to be supportive. At another point, I had five roommates in the one-bedroom apartment. I lived in the closet, all in the name of saving money and helping friends out. Scott stayed there during our monk years, where he prayed all day, and I measured all my food for the Zone diet and studied. We did not talk and we did not party for a year.

The funniest time at the apartment could fill another few chapters with stories. Scott’s brother Jon was a roommate, but we never saw him. He had a pair of shoes that lived in the corner of the room, with jeans and a shirt folded on the top. That represented Jon. Their younger brother Ryan was our butler, and literally had a list of chores to do every day in exchange for rent. When you have five guys with drunk friends coming over it was an endless job. The toilet alone required a Hazmat suit and a set of three-foot prongs to clean it without being exposed to the nuclear filth. Luke Pinnow lived there and worked at Trader Joe’s and for a short time the gym I worked in. He graduated high school the year after us. Luke was later a minority partner and employee of the gym I opened up in 2005, which probably ruined our relationship. One of my friends from the dance department, Michael Bilikas, who also majored in a bunch of science stuff and Greek, and took nearly as long as Scott McKinstry to graduate, used to run big events at the Show Box downtown, and the crazy nightlife kept him on his cell phone late into the night. He used to fall asleep sitting up with the TV blaring. He later went to NYU dental school. Of all the roommates over the years, 9-Ball was the funniest roommate by far.

Formally John “9-Ball” Angus, who later legally changed his name to “Jawn” Angus, was in a phase of his life that one might call the partying years. To me, he was just full of life and living every moment. Others might call him a drunk. To me, he was a friend and a very interesting roommate. One day, he invited the homeless man who sat out on University Way Northeast, colloquially known as The Ave. The man went by the name of Bear and had a hook for a hand. He had a cardboard sign he would proudly display next to his can (pun intended) as he sat with the other Ave Rats waiting for a handout. His cheeky sign read, “It’s For Beer.” At least he was an honest bum.

Now, I prefer to view 9-Ball’s invitation an act of generosity, charity, and as philanthropic humanitarianism. One could also make an argument that he was just doing it for a laugh or as a bizarre social experiment, perhaps to see if the man could out drink him.

Upon arriving back home that day, I was surprised to see 9-Ball and Bear hosting a poker party. I can’t remember for sure, as many of those parties were a little hazy in my memory banks, but I seem to recall cigars and several other gentlemen from our usual crowd. The apartment had become an episode of Cheers, but Norm sitting at the end of the bar had been replaced by a homeless derelict who indeed could drink everyone else under the table… And he did.

After that, Bear became an honorary member of the Stoddard Tenement House, and his hook became our crest.

It was an amazing time. There were women in the place here and there (I am so sorry for those poor souls), but the primary players were a motley crew of young men somehow loosely connected to one of the tenants. In addition to those formally paying rent, there was a cast of characters that rounded out the mix.

My childhood friend Gary Hunter, a math genius who went to Whitman college, would come over and help organize the poker parties and bring exotic liqueurs, food, and cigars. He was on his way to becoming a successful bond trader and highly sought-after analyst of some kind. He worked for Washington Mutual Capital Corporation before the crash. I would go and visit him when I was working at the 5th Avenue Theater on our lunch break. Gary always has at least two computer monitors in front of him at all times. There is a legal statute somewhere that says that whatever is on the monitors must be at least three years ahead of everyone else and at least thirty IQ points above my head. Gary is one of those people who saw the crash coming and warned me, but I bought swamp land in Florida anyway (literally and figuratively) and lost my shirt. Years later, real estate investment trusts and really smart people in California pay Gary a lot of money to be smarter for them as he sits in his underwear in his living room. To be honest, no one really knows what Gary did or does. From what I have been able to deduce, Gary creates Excel spreadsheets that other people use to try to figure out other spreadsheets, that analyze things that other people try to figure out using spreadsheets that Gary made. There is then a bunch of smart people who ask Gary when they should jump and how high, and then somehow at the end of it all some guy in Rhode Island ends up owning twelve apartment buildings for a nickel.

Another friend I met at the gym, Nick Lacy, was an African-American singer and club hopper who I loved dearly and somehow ended up at the club Neighbors with. I did not know what Neighbors was when I went, and it made it that much more interesting. I grew up very fast in those years. I dated Tania, who’s family was from Mexico and was an exceptional Salsa dancer that I met at the University of Washington Ballroom Dance Club. We went out dancing all the time for several years. The culmination of our relationship was a bronze in the Seattle ballroom dance competition. We tried for a while, but it wasn’t meant to be. That was that and she moved to Australia.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Nick’s buddy (who I shall not name to protect the innocent), would come over already high and looking to get more stoned. He had completed a master’s degree in a very competitive program at the UW, and now was doing nothing with it. One time, at the end of a long drawn-out soirée, he couldn’t find any more beer in my fridge. He looked at a half-empty (which he saw as half-full) glass of beer that someone had put a cigar out in, and with only a brief pause, shrugged his shoulders and chugged it down, ashes and all. These were lengths to which one would go to keep the party going at the Stoddard Tenement House.

Those years ended abruptly when the owner of the condo, an airline pilot with a stressful life, suddenly passed away from a heart attack. His wife and daughter were in shock and mourning, and I knew they wanted the daughter to be able to stay there, as she was a college student too. I decided it would be for the best if I just moved out to get out of their way. I had a deposit all wrapped up in a new building up the street that was already past the opening deadline and kept postponing. I had nowhere to put my stuff, so I stored some of it downstairs in the laundry room and some of it out in the alley behind the building in our garage space that was not at all secure.

What seemed like an act of courtesy turned into very bad timing. A few hours before I was to move out, we were all having one last little get-together. 9-Ball noticed some young punks in the alleyway four stories below who were mouthing off and throwing insults at us through the window. 9-Ball very correctly set the young hooligans straight and they fled the scene, not knowing that they would throw something much worse than insults in a matter of hours. We left the apartment to finish our work (I literally had to go work at University Fitness) and I came back later that evening to find splattered egg all over the walls of the living room. Somehow, he had insulted the next pitcher for the mariners or something, because that kid had an arm like a cannon. Either that or they had some kind of deadly accurate egg gun. I realized we had left the windows open on that hot evening and from four stories below, these kids had managed to launch those eggs through our windows and all over our walls, destroying the paint.

The others were gone, and all I had with me was the newest roommate on the scene, Andrew from the dance department. Andrew had just moved in and never even knew any of the other guys and yet from the goodness of his heart, he stayed with me that evening to paint the entire living room and clean up the mess. He lasted most of the night, and I pulled the rest of the all-nighter and finished the job. I turned the keys in and went to the gym the next morning. Without a home, the backroom at the gym became my new living space. I worked during the day, and then pleaded with Fahreed, who started at eleven, not to tell the boss that I was sleeping there. I am not sure if the boss would have cared, but I felt ashamed. Fahreed’s shift would end at five in the morning and I would start. It was a strange time.

Years later, after acquiring a well-paying oil refinery job, no doubt with help of his sheer charisma, 9-Ball began to travel to exotic locales in order to help with the expensive process of the winding down of refineries. On location in a tropical setting, he was a major car accident that should have taken his life. Swearing to become changed man, he swore off his previous lifestyle, including all drinking, purchased a race bike, and became an avid marathon runner and tri-athlete. I visited him once when he lived on Alki in Seattle, to see his many ribbons and accolades lining his wall when he was running an average of one marathon per month. He was lean and sinewy and truly embodied a new man. He legally changed his name to Jawn Angus.

Farewell 9-Ball, your memory shall forever be cherished and worshiped by the suppliant Ave Rats and Bums of University Way North East. Thus is the tale told by descendants on the Ave who’s cardboards signs now read, “It’s For 9-Ball,” and who wear pendants and various pieces of flair, all with the image of a hook on them.

In the next post, I will continue with more interesting interviews.

Are you from Generation X? I want to hear what you think! Please comment below and participate in the conversation about What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. What do you wish someone told you when you were eighteen?

Life After High School: Chapter 8 The Apartment Welcome to Chapter 8 of my blog-to-book project: Life After High School: Secrets To A Successful Life By Those Who Have Had Twenty Years To Think About It

#Blog-to-Book

1 note · View note