#guy badman

[slowbrew]

Got to introduce my new side character in game today. Meet Guy Badman, a lycan hunter seeking revenge for the loss of his son.

[starleska]

have any of you ever heard of 'Badman', a short-lived antagonist of the Super Richie/Richie Rich comics? 😂💖 he's just a horrible prankster who lives to cause chaos, Robbie Rotten-style!! we love to see it 🔥🔥 i found about him through a fabulous book called 'The Legion of Regrettable Supervillains' - a compendium of terrible, absurd, and absolutely baffling comic book baddies throughout history!! i cannot believe this guy was only in three issues 🙈

[ask-the-badman]

Y'all are too good to me... I know I don' use this phrase a lot, but...

Thank you.

-Bad Man Johnny.

[gender-euphowrya]

i love how Everyone agreed on 'durge' like the game is all oooo the Dark Urge so gloom and mysterious name what horrors live in this wretched mind...... and then we all went "this is my friend derj :)"

[the-light-of-stars]

see that's the fun part about them: they both suck <3

drew a silly little Goodman and Badman >:)

[errorryx]

shitty batman fanfiction

So AO3 went down last night, and my friend @armyanimal156 was in the middle of a fanfiction and couldn’t finish it, so I offered to finish it for him. I used my vague understanding of comic book storytelling from my brief Marvel comics phase in 2019, plus the very minimal knowledge i picked up from some of my mutuals' posts, to assemble this nonsense. This is Damian What’s-his-face’s Journey of Self-Discovery, originally typed out stream-of-consciousness into Discord and then edited into a more digestible format.

Please for the love of god understand that this is not my usual writing style and also I'm not in this fandom and don't know shit about fuck. This is just a very long shitpost. ok enjoy

—

Damian, the newest Robin who was raised by assassins, was about to go on a journey to atone for his sins. He used Batman’s credit card to buy himself plane tickets to Eurasia and Africa, because there was a package deal he saw online or whatever. He decided to fly economy because he had self-esteem issues and thought he didn’t deserve first class.

He arrived in Eurasia, which in DC comics universe is the name of a small country in the continent of Syrup. Unfortunately, when he saw who was waiting for him at the airport, he was shocked.

“Mom?” Damian said. “Dad? Other Mom? That one guy?”

That’s right, it was the four assassins that raised him. The comics didn’t mention the other two assassins, Dad and Other Mom, because they weren’t relevant to the other stories being told. He calls his grandpa “that one guy.” This definitely isn’t someone poorly retconning comic canon into the fic after being told new information or anything like that.

“Yes, Damian, it’s us,” said Other Mom (that’s her legal government name). “We need your help. We’re going to assassinate the President of the United States.”

“No way,” Damian said. “I’ve changed. I fight for justice now.”

“Is that so?” that one guy said. “Then you should know that the President of the United States is actually evil and deserves to die.”

Damian wasn’t sure if he could believe that one guy, because he was a supervillain. But he decided to trust him just this once. He went and found the President of the United States, who was on a diplomatic mission to the small Syrupean nation of Eurasia, and shot him point blank on live television, Joker-movie-style.

Thankfully for Damian, that one guy was telling the truth: the president was evil and everyone had been secretly hoping for someone to assassinate him. People celebrated in the streets, and Batman and Tim and Drake and whoever else called and told him he did a good job. Even better, his mom patted him on the back and told Damian she was proud of him, which made him feel somewhat better about his childhood trauma.

Then, the president came back as a zombie who was impervious to bullets and wanted to eat everyone’s brains. Everyone was very upset about this, including all four of his assassin parents, and Batman, and Drake and Josh. Damian decided his best bet was to run away from his problems instead of facing them like a man, so he used his plane ticket to Africa and escaped.

—

The plane landed in Africa, which in DC comics universe is a small island nation in the Specific Ocean. Damian had never been to Africa before, but it was a popular tourist destination for its pristine beaches and overpriced coconut cocktails. However, after arriving on the island, he quickly learned that everything was owned by a mysterious billionaire known as Bruce Wane, Bruce Wayne’s twin brother who has never been mentioned in the comics before because he wasn’t relevant to any of the stories being told.

After some investigating, Damian learned that Bruce Wane was secretly a supervillain who terrorized the island, who went by the name of Badman (like Batman, but bad). Badman had a sidekick named Robbin. When Damian went up against this pair, Robbin pickpocketed him.

“Hey!” Damian complained. “I saw that! Don’t steal my stuff!”

“Damian,” Badman said in a fake deep voice, Dark Knight-movie-style. “If you want your wallet back, you have to join me. You can be Robbin 2.” Robbin looked upset about this, but didn’t say anything.

“No way, bitch,” Damian said (he gets to say swear words because of his childhood trauma). “Batman is way cooler than you.”

Badman took a few steps back and did a triple backflip. “Bet your stupid Batman can’t do that.”

Damian had to admit that Batman could not do that. “Fine, you win. I’ll join you.”

He followed Badman and Robbin to the Badcave (like the Batcave, but bad). Badman began explaining his plan to take over the world by dropping a bunch of badbombs (like batbombs, but bad) on top of the small island nation of Africa and then the rest of the world.

“That’s a really cool plan,” Damian said. “Can I have the password to your computer? I want to play Roblox.” BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT THIS KID IS LIKE TWELVE YEARS OLD HOLY SHIT WHY IS HE FIGHTING CRIME. WHY IS HE ASSASSINATING PEOPLE. WHAT THE FUCK MAN???

So Badman gave Damian the password to the badcomputer (like the batcomputer, but bad), which was, of course, “nanananananananabadman” and gave him unsupervised internet access.

Of course, Damian immediately hacked into the mainframe and set off every badbomb in the badwarehouse (like the batwarehouse, but bad). The Badcave exploded and everything was ruined. Then, Damian revealed that when Robbin was busy pickpocketing him, he was actually pickpocketing Robbin at the same time! He opened Robbin’s wallet and looked through his stuff.

As it turned out, Robbin’s ID picture looked the same as Damian’s, because they were secret TWINS and CLONES and TWIN CLONES. Robbin’s real name was Damien with an E. 

Robbin looked very sad, and he asked Damian if there was a way he could learn to be good instead of bad. “I could take you back to Batman,” Damian suggested. “You could be Robin 2. Actually, more like Robin 27 at this point.”

“That sounds great,” Robbin agreed, and they flew back to Gotham City together.

—

“Jesus Christ, not another one,” Alfred said when they got back.

Batman just shrugged and said, “This might as well happen.”

“It’s going to be really confusing around here if there’s two Damians,” Cass (one of them is named Cass right? or Cath? idfk) said. Everyone decided to call Damian with an e “Dame” and Damian with an a “Ian.” This detail was included despite the fact that it never came up again.

They turned on the news, which was conveniently at the beginning of a report about Badman, who had miraculously survived the explosions. He had now teamed up with the zombie president and vowed to destroy Batman and his league of child soldiers.

The zombie president staged a hostile takeover of the American troops, which was easy because the guy who replaced him was a wimpy loser. Soon the entire US Marines were outside Batman’s house, which apparently isn’t the first time this has happened, but this time they had all been turned into zombies. Which also isn’t the first time that’s happened. Writing an original plotline in DC comics is probably impossible.

So began the epic battle between Batman’s orphanage and the zombie marine corps.

Everything was going well for the good guys, but then Damian got into trouble. It looked like he was about to get seriously injured, until Damien jumped in front of him at the last second to save him, only to get bit by one of the zombies and become infected.

Soon enough all the zombies were defeated, but it didn’t feel like a victory, not when the twinclone kid they met ten minutes ago was dying in front of them.

“Listen, everyone,” Damien said, while slowly turning green (the color of zombies). “I know we just met each other, but the ten seconds of kindness I got from you were better than the entire rest of my incredibly traumatic life. So please, don’t mourn me. Put me out of my misery, and go save the world in my honor.”

Damian nodded and lifted his gun. “I was raised by assassins, in case anyone forgot,” he said. “I can do what needs to be done.” He proceeded to shoot Damien in the head.

But it didn’t do any damage at all, because as previously stated, zombies are impervious to bullets. So Damien finished turning green and stood up. “Please don’t eat our brains!” one of those other batkids said.

“Huh,” Damien said. “I don’t really want to eat anyone’s brains. I think I’m fine, actually.”

As it turned out, the zombie virus didn’t induce the desire to eat brains. The president and the entire US marines were just like that.

So the entire group hunted down Badman and the President and dropped batbombs (like badbombs, but not bad) on top of their heads, and they both exploded into one zombillion pieces.

Everyone lived happily ever after, and Damian now had a twinclone zombie brother and felt a lot better about his childhood trauma.

The end

—

bonus: more discord screenshots from last night for additional context, featuring my other friends @diligently-metastasizing (dyke lego homer) and @avloki-pal (wet ghost cat)

[johns-prince]

I told him: “You know you love your own company. Even Cyn says you go days without speaking to her. She feels a million miles away from you.” John replied: “Ah, but she’s not, is she. She’s in the kitchen putting the kettle on.”

—Tony Barrow, Beatles Book Monthly Magazine, No. 149 (Sept. 1988) [×]

¶

There’s one line in the lyric I don’t really mean: “Well knowing you / You’d probably laugh and say / That we were worlds apart”. I’m playing to the more cynical side of John, but I don’t think it’s true that we were so distant. 

—Paul reads from his new book, The Lyrics (2021). [×]

¶

“I’m kind of expected to say, ‘[John] was a saint, he was always a saint, I remember him as a saint’, but it would be a lie. He was one great guy and part of his greatness was that he wasn’t a saint. He was a great guy but he was pretty sacrilegious. He was pretty up front about it. But it was half the fun.”

—Paul McCartney (c. 1984) in The Dream Is Over: Off The Record 2 by Keith Badman [×]

¶

“John is neither a saint, nor is he a sinner. He was just human, like the rest of us.”

—Cynthia Lennon, answering the question “John Lennon: saint or sinner?” The Independent, July 1999 [×]

¶

“Seeing Lennon focus on Ono rather than him[Paul] was as devastating as it would have been for Cynthia Lennon to witness the couple making love.”

—Peter Dogget, You Never Give Me Your Money. [×]

¶

“Then also we were like married, so you got the bitterness. It’s not a woman scorned this time, it’s two men scorned — probably even worse. And I had to make way for Yoko. My relationship with John could not have remained as it was and Yoko feel secure.”

— Paul McCartney, Interview by Duncan Fallowell in the Chicago Tribune, October 14th, 1984 [×]

¶

“Apart from giving me the courage to break out of my stockbroker belt... Yoko also gave me the inner strength to look more closely at my other marriage. My real marriage. To The Beatles, which was more stifling than my domestic life. Although I had thought of it often enough, I lacked the guts to make the break earlier.”

—Skywriting By Word Of Mouth by John Lennon (pg. 17) [x]

¶

“I still think at the back of John’s mind was this fascination of wanting to get back with the first girlfriend, if you like, and that was to get back with Paul, who he had so much history with.”

—Tony Barrow, The Beatles’ press officer, on the Lennon/McCartney reunion that was never to be [×]

¶

“I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away. And I understood that. I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, “Who’s this?” You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…”

—April 3rd?, 1985 (Soho Square, London): Paul talks on German television show exclusive about the breakup of the Beatles and his personal breakup with John. [x]

¶

“But Paul was his own man and not afraid of John. In fact, musically and personally, the two were beginning to go in separate directions so perhaps Paul’s visit to me was also a statement to John.”

—Cynthia Lennon, John [×]

¶

“Paul, who believed strongly in the family and in family values, told me that he felt as if it was the Beatles themselves who were heading for divorce, not just John and Cynthia.”

—Tony Bramwell, Magical Mystery Tours [×]

I wanted to end this post with a quote from Cynthia, whether it was from a book or was an answer to a question, about how she simply misses lying in bed with John, and just the two of them talking. This quote from her book John [x] is relevant, but unfortunately I couldn't find the exact quote I wanted.

To accompany the sentiment from John's first wife though, is this quote:

“If John Lennon could come back for a day, how would you spend it with him?” “In bed.”

—Paul McCartney answers questions for Q magazine, 1998 [x]

[ropermike]

Bill runs into the associates of a prisoner he's escorting.

[fawrishfish]

Ok so I was drawing shadowy Rando M. Guy without his hat, and realized that he has the same hairstyle as Saul Goodman so now to me he just looks like a dark version of Saul

…Saul Badman

[allseeinganalyst]

The Dragon Ball Vegeta Valentine’s Day things made me remember the bit in the dub that makes me laugh non stop — right before he gets the “Badman” shirt and he gets out of the shower and he demands Bulma brings him a “Drying Cloth”.

“Drying Cloth” — I can’t fucking breathe. What was the logic? “Oh he’s an evil space alien so he wouldn’t just say “towel”” yeah no of course he calls it a fucking “drying cloth”.

You guys do not understand how much this just gets me, I laugh every single time. I refuse to believe he ever stopped calling them that. Bulma asks if he wants a towel one day and he’s like “???”

[hinacu-arts]

Tags That Made Me Smile 2023 — Part 1 (Jan-June)

Ive collected so many of my "Tags That Made Me Smile List" that i wont be posting it annually this year, its going to be at least biannually (although a good portion of this list is actually random comments in the author notes/lines and not tags 🤣)

[2022's List] [2021's List]

.

Not Fandom Specific

if they seem ooc at times (to YOU) just ignore it... i know Them

“It’s impossible to figure out comic book timelines” - people who are not me and who I cannot relate to

im ace but i tried my damnest to emulate allo behaviour

canon is nothing more than the sandbox in which I choose to build my castle

Not canon, not fanon, but some other third thing (my love for extravagant world building)

fan fiction vs foe fiction

bro we are teens its ok to be vunerable in front of me #now we are kissing bro dont stop

They have my mind on fucking speed dial i stg

intentional miscommunication in the name of fuckery

Cheesy romance taken seriously

The universe frantically consults the rule book while fate runs off with their action figures

getting a toddler dumped on you by your ex’s ex

“I’m not dying without kissing you” #And then they don’t die #And It’s all quite awkward

"Now if you'll excuse me… Tonight's bad decision isn't going to make itself."

“What’s a ‘boyfriend’? And why am I yours?”

“It has come to my attention that you are, unfortunately, my favorite person on this planet.”

i’m staring at the ceiling fighting the urge to kick you -a love story

Accidental Soul-Bonding oops

Enemy to Caretaker

Wooing via Prank War

Allegedly Platonic Kissing

Fandom Specific

These are ordered by the chronological order of which fandom i was reading at the time

Wednesday

werewolves mate for life

The Gomezification of Wednesday Addams

Legend of Zelda

Hi my name is Link and Welcome to Jackass

Link and Sidon both get a little bit gay: The Chapter

Gerudo Vai Outfit shenanigans

DC x Danny Phantom

Danny is the Tom Bombadil of Superheroes

Jack Fenton’s ability to casually Cool-Aid-Man his way through walls is a symptom of ectoplasm exposure

Skulker, No Skulking!

Danger Twink!Danny Fenton

Red Hood: Civilian Edition

inception—magic school bus version

a guy on staff so adorable it triggers Jason’s fight or flight response

Jason gets diagnosed with "bro your ectoplasm is fucked up" disease

Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies #But make it Halloween #where Tim Drake finds out the true meaning of love and Halloween #a true Rom-Com that's just a lil spooky

keeps the Hallmark themes of anti-capitalism #Vlad is the capitalism

pit is gone #raging anger has been replaced with raging hormones

All the (pit) rage he felt at the Joker for killing him is now being redirected and funneled into admiration/gratitude for the guy who did kill Joker

What is a murderer, a maker of ghosts, to the king of ghosts, but a faithful servant?

“Hood, your boyfriend's haunted!”

batman looked at gotham and said "i can fix her" #gotham looked at batman and said "i can make him worse"

Various DC Media

DC stands for Disregard Canon

Pining batman? more like Down Badman

Fortress of Sulkitude

Hurricane Dick and smaller Tropical Storm Damian

Tim finds his missing spleen #:)

just two dudes chillin' in a sleeping bag zero feet apart because Bart stole the other one

Kon's jacket #(it's made from boyfriend material)

Batfam? Bat colony? #how exactly do you to refer to the fascinating taxon that is Tim's family

Breaking the laws of Nature with sheer fucking will and bullshit circumstance (Time and Dimension Travel)

"Ha! Ive been sleeping in his bed for years, i no longer register as a threat"

Let it not be said that Bruce Wayne is a coward. A fool, perhaps, but never a coward.

"This is not very slay of you Tim" Bruce said

[cainache]

ballad of a badman ♱ steve harrington (reader is called ace!)

You don't even have it in you to turn on the stereo to fill the time.

You sit and suffer in the silence of your car. It smells like cherries and cigarettes, never your cigarettes. You don’t smoke. Bad for you. He doesn’t care, especially when you tell him how bad it is. He’s here for a fun time, not a long time.

You eyes watch her wildly as she races across the student lot, a single hand tight around her bag strap. She yanks the passenger door open to her mother's car meaner than the town’s meanest storms.

She disappears in a flash, like she hadn’t even been there in the first place.

She hadn’t been an alive thought in your guys minds during the summer, and as the last few weeks hit—she was everywhere. All consuming. It made you want to wail. She was killing you without even touching you.

You sink into the driver seat more, chin touching your chest as you frown. The neckline of your light grey tank top tickles your chin, and suddenly the jean jacket you wear feels too small. Even your jeans feel ugly against your soft skin, too tight and itchy. You could cry.

Guilt is the ugliest thing you've eaten since you were a kid.

Your passenger door is pulled open. You don't look to see who it is. It's obvious. It always is.

That’s why the door is unlocked.

“Hey,” he says as he slides into the passenger seat. His voice is cooled and calm. Always is. He talks with such a carefulness around you it makes you want to yank on his hair and ask him to yell at your for once.

“Hi, Steve.” You say it even softer than his voice could ever go. You’re quiet. He hums and his hands disappears under your hair and cups the back of your neck. He squeezes gently. Like he always does.

He leans over the middle of your car, his lips pressing an all too soft kiss to your temple. As he pulls always his lips brush the edge of your eyebrow. You want to cry and grin like the Cheshire Cat.

He’s so sick. This boy. This teenage god.

You haven’t looked at him, he notices.

He pulls on your glove department, his pack of cigarettes hide in there. He pulls a cigarette from the box and lights it. “You alright?”

You cut right to the point, before you get the chance to light your car on fire with his lighter. “What’s the matter with Nancy?” Steve stiffens automatically at your question. God, he’s so mean.

“Why you askin’? She say something to you? You know you were here first.” The words use to bring you comfort, now they just make you sad.

You finally look over at him. He’s never seen this look on your face before. Like you’ve killed someone and they’ve killed you just the same. “Steve, what are we doing? This is so mean.”

He stares, smoke lingering around his face. You can smell it, it’s so bad.

He doesn’t get why this is bothering you now, it’s been months. It’s been months. And it has been bothering you for months, but you’re always so scared to say anything to him—ever.

You wished he’d open up a damn window.

He doesn’t say anything. You’re not sure he has anything to say. Or maybe he’s trying to think of something to calm you down. To reassure you everything is good, like he always does.

But nothing is ever good when a boy strings along two girls.

“It was just a fight. She doesn’t know anything.” That doesn’t make you feel better and quite frankly, you know he’s lying.

You look away from him, your shoulders cave into yourself even more. “Why’d you have to fall in love with her? Wasn’t what we were doing just enough for you? Steve, nothing ever seems enough for you..”

He almost crushes the cigarette between his teeth. He finally opens the fucking door and flicks it out, stomping it out with his all too white shoes. He looks back at you, leg still out the open door. “You’re serious, right now?”

You eyes glaze over and your head stings. You look over at him, lips parted. His attitude isn’t a shock. “You can’t blame me, Steve. This is awful. It isn’t fair, to anyone, but you.”

His jaw clenches and you can’t remember the last time you two got into a fight. It must’ve been in freshman year. He’s your best friend, you guys don’t fight. Maybe you would more if you spoke your mind when you wanted.

“She’s a junior. We’re seniors. She’ll be an afterthought, soon.” Oh, my god…

You glare at him now. “Is that suppose to make things better? Steve, she likes you.”

His grip is tight on the door. His eyes look lost for the first time in awhile. “You like me.” It’s all he says.

You can’t say anything. You don’t know what to say. Your lips part but nothing comes out so they close and you don’t realize it but tears slip down your cheekbones. He watches them.

“You liking me, is enough. It’s more than enough.” He leans back towards you, his thumb dragging too roughly against your skin as he rids you of tears. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Ace.” He squeezes your chin, a little too roughly. The nickname makes your throat close up. He’s been calling you that forever.

He’s gone and you don’t even know what the point of anything was.

[loiterer87]

...So I saw Across The Spider-Verse about a week or so ago... And I'm back on the bandwagon (which I never really left tbh) Anyway, here's my Spidersona vs. The Shocker! Who is to quote Seth from From Dusk 'Til Dawn, "A professional fucking thief.". Was wanting to have a go at the Shocker for a while and as I read up on the character, I dug the fact that is just a professional bank robber. Much more refreshing villainous motivation than, "I badman, hate good guy. Want revenge on him all the time!" He pulls jobs for cash, refuses to get involved with lunatic schemes without financial compensation and has no interest in pursuing revenge if he's caught by either the cops or superheroes. Also doesn't strike me as a guy who'd kill people even if it's convenient. Murder raps get more jail time than armed robbery, so why give them more reason to keep you locked up?

[ask-the-badman]

Guys, he's real! I finally got the BADMAN mod for Johnny~ ♥ (I love it so much.)

[scourgefrontiers]

i'll never forget my first pride experience. i was a baby trans going to pride for the first time, wearing a badman button up and trans socks and carrying a little trans flag, i was probably like 18. and then this older trans guy, shirtless with top surgery scars and a trans flag painted on his chest, walks up to me with open arms like "omg are you trans too??? thats so awesome!!" and gives me a hug and takes a selfie with me

it made me feel so seen and loved and i appreciate that guy to this day

[malzanya]

imagine working at a clothing store and the fuckin prince of all saiyans, guy who like a year ago tried to destroy the earth, walks in and looks around and he goes "I want to buy the BADMAN shirt. Now."