#gutting myself tbh
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i need to be locked in a room with chan and the key needs to be thrown away. just me and chan. forever.
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Me: “Why has no one ever drawn the Mustafar duel with character-accurate emotions? Why is it always just Anakin and Obi-Wan dueling without facial expressions? Someone should fix that.”
Me an hour later: “…oh. That’s why. 🥲”
#Star Wars#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#revenge of the sith#wip#I punched myself in the gut with this#I should draw more dark fanart tbh
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Congratulations on the boyfriend
hehe
#the congratulations are actually quite nice and reassuring thank you#anonymous#[.asks]#it's funny to think back I can fully say I hated this guy's guts. And Yet#fate was sealed when we dubbed Phoenix and Edgeworth in our friend's aa gameplay years ago tbh#same gameplay where I deliberately made them lose evidence and fuck up during trials <3 method acting#Im going to stop myself from rambling but ive been very lucky with this. Im an insufferable man and hes been terribly kind#👍 unreal. I'm not over it yet
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writing smth terry related and i absolutely love writing about ron from his perspective, because this is so fun, i love angsty teens hes so angry
cannot believe these two end up having the best relationship out of all of the kid-dad relationships in this stupid podcast
#the fact that just before these two paragraphs theres the most gut wrenching angst abt terry sr's death is even better tbh#the best part is that i have a stepdad named ron myself#tho i never went thru the angsty teen phase cuz ron is truly so much better than my father#dndads#dndads s1#dndaddies#dungeons and daddies#dungeons & daddies#dndads fanfic#my writing#ooc writing snippet#terry jr stampler#ron stampler#ron f stampler#samantha stampler#the stampler family#🍁#Don't Look Now by autumnl3av3s
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I like that fic a lot not only cause it's my ship, but because I've never seen that hanahaki type before. Usually the feelings are mutual, and it could be solved by communication (or the person just dies rip). Never seen hanahaki where it's factually right and not just based on what the victim thinks
yeah those are rare ones. mostly, i think, because people like a happy ending (and i am no different tbh), but those are the original concepts of what Hanahali represented: a love one-sided and fatal not just to your emotional wellbeing but your own life as a whole.
#tbh i myself am struggling with how i'll end my hanahaki hangster fic#bc yeah i love happy endings#angst with a happy ending is a tag i search for all the time when it comes to hanahaki#but writing it? idk maybe i do want it to end in tragedy or maybe i'm not ready to give that ending yet#past!shadowpeach and hanahaki has some kind of grace to it bc even if macky died before lmk he'll still come back#but then the question becomes:#is the love still there? is it still the same as before? or has it rottened like his corpse body?#or has it flourished in defiance of his rotting body?#also swk is 7x immortal so his hanahaki condition is simply chronic. he won't die. he'll have be inconvenienced#but will that be enough for him to spill his guts?#asks#shadowpeach#hanahaki
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How does one meet Mitch and Auston 😩 there’s some people who have met both and I’m like ahhhh there’s one girl I know on Twitter that has and I’m so happy for her but so insanely jealous how does it feel to be gods favorite 😭
fjkdlsjfklsdjf i honestly have no clue. some people know where to go at certain arenas like. where the buses get in or where the entrances for the players are or where they're staying/leaving from and meet them that way.... some people that live in toronto know the practice rink and will get selfies with them in their cars coming/going from there. i don't know if i'd honestly ever have the guts to do any of that, although i think it'd be fun to have like a vip experience at the games or see an open practice (not sure the leafs do that much). i know the guys come to some of the boxes after depending on who's there/pulling strings but. ANYWAY. sometimes it feels a little less like god's favorite and more just. having prime connections lol
#easks#like fklsjdfks sometimes borders on stalking/being weird#some of the ppl that have routinely gone to try to meet them are asses abt some of them online. then sit there w their signed merch like lo#undeserving imo but ;lkfldsjfk SOME OF THEM. IT SEEMS LIKE A COINCIDENCE n the guys seem happy enoughfkd so#i guess i answered the question myself abt whether or not id have the guts to go up to them when i met kyle and spezz but that was a lil di#FFERENT tbh.... but id love to go to the odr or a practice tho like thats the dream#honestly just wanna visit scotiabank some day in general but
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One of the funny (?) things about me is that when I was absolutely miserable during the second year of my master's program, that misery expressed itself and evolved into an intense feeling of "I want to go home". And that feeling never went away. It's the first and most powerful thought I get whenever I'm feeling down. Even if I'm already home.
#Don't think I've really talked about it before but#That was genuinely one of the lowest points of my life despite living in Paris (yes I recognize the privilege there)#I was so lonely and wasn't good at doing things by myself#nor did I want to. And I'm still not good at that tbh.#My good friends were in the parallel program (research vs “professional”) and I didn't see them much due to travel-sucking-outside-of-Paris#I didn't like the people I was in class with and sometimes had to be with for 7 days and nights straight#Classes were 9-5 +studying (and commuting) which honestly. Hell. Cooped up in a studio apt so much#Wild to think that for as lame as Logan Utah is and how stressed I was about my thesis I still had a better time there#it at least felt like a valuable use of time. Meanwhile i WISH I could say I remembered anything about my classes.#So I wanted to go home where I could easily see friends and family on a regular basis#get a hug or something#Anyways#It's still my gut feeling when I'm sad but now it just feels silly and misplaced whenever I catch it happening lol#personal
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#I was thinking about 'make new extra hoods to go alongside the maxis ones' but I'd rather do those without shell restrictions#And then maybe look into how you're supposed to package & share installable subhoods#Been thinking about that for a while and I'd like to go all out and reinstall Sim City 4 to make custom maps too#But that's not a Calcinidae Bay project I don't think#So the options are either I keep the three Maxis destinations but gut all the lots and treat them like shells#Or I make three new vacation destinations (one Far East one Mountain one Island) that are perhaps related to but distinct from Maxis ones#and fill them entirely with lots made from shells#tbh I'm leaning towards the Maxis thing myself because then they would sort of count as lot makeovers for people to download#and I've wanted to incorporate some maxis-lot-makeovers-as-shells in Calcinidae Bay and this is probably the best way to do it#Since it has a custom university and downtown already#sorry to run another super niche poll where I probably won't listen to the good advice I get LMAO#I can always add new shells to the Maxis destinations too & Harestone Retreat was already made to fit into Three Lakes so...
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Ok yeah I’m a little obsessed with them
#keese draws#oxygen not included#jackie stern#olivia broussard#I’m experiencing joy and whimsy allow me to be cringe for a time#anyways ferret jackie snuggling with her tail is my favorite image now#and olivia eating pecha berry is my second favorite look at her#if I’m the only one making fanart of these two I must train myself to go insane over my own art it’s for my own survival#even if I don’t have the motivation to make a full drawing rn#plus it’s good practice for me to get better at sketching sketching is usually big biggest roadblock to making the pieces I wanna make#anyways I was nowhere near consistent with sizes here but I like to imagine that olivia is significantly smaller than jackie#jackie is very large by furret standards and olivia is very small by bibarel standards#again didn’t draw that well here since I was being lazy with jackie but just imagine I did draw it well#honestly it’s going to be a miracle if I ever get around to designing anyone else in this au I have favorites#plus some of the ideas I have are going to be. annoying to excecute to put it mildly#it’s my own fault no one is forcing me to make ada an aegislash but I’m going to complain abt it anyways#although tbh liam as a panpour is probably going to be harder for me since at least I have a silhouette in my head for ada#and then there’s yanma ari and kabuto hassan who are deceptively easy sounding#as in my gut says oh yeah that’s easy but my brain says oh this is going to be hell#otto as flaaffy is another one that Should be easy but I know it’ll be hell since I have no ideas for their shapes#and I’m never drawing mi-ma since for some ungodly reason my brain decided to cling to making her metagross#and then my only other idea as of now is galvantula ellie but I’m not set in stone on that one#honestly if anyone has suggestions for the other scientists feel free to shoot them at me#or just wants to share what they’d make any of them even if it’s the guys I’ve already decided on I’m still not set on some of them and#it’s fun hearing other ppls ideas#real sad thing for me is that this is probably going to be pmd au number 2000 without any good zorua candidates 😔#nails comes close but the shapes man the shapes don’t call to me#also color pallet would be hell I’m sorry bestie but your hair is such an ugly color#ohhhh wait what if I made them a trubbish…. that could work honestly#I’ll also totally need to make someone a vanilite as the worlds number one vanilite defender
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trying so hard not to take a nap
#not to be... tmi ... not in a gross way but in a... about my life way ....#my guts have been hurting all week and my calves and shins hurt all the time AND i've been getting breathless a lot#so ive decided i need to stat 'getting into shape' aka just walking more#and i went for my first walk in a while and staying awake right now is HELL#i had caffeine too so my walk was fine tbh but the labor of not letting myself rest....#god.#and i want to use this time to do homework or write but like#brain no worky how do i do this#caitie blabs
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me when my friend compares me to the most awful person in tje game (he only partially knows the lore but saw i liked that guy)
#tbh subspace is kinda me..........#hes so nice to medkit even though he hates his guts#but is only nice in tone and not in like. words#which is literally me#happiest person youve ever met but ill say some nasty shit (smile)#also im good at chemistry. YIPPEEEE#motivating myself to learn chem by pretending im mr evil subspace working on a new explosive#motivating myself to do precalculus by pretending im mr devious subspace calculating stuff for my explosives#(it works)
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Now that I'm an adult in my 30s I think back to the ways teachers responded to me as a kid and I'm like... that was wrong. Like not even the times it was ethically wrong to mock/bully a child or whatever but even the times they "corrected" me for shit I was right about or made me feel stupid for answering a question in a way that wasn't exactly the way they wanted. For one, all it did was make me never participate in class again bc it was humiliating in front of the peers who already did not like me and for two, I was literally right tho. Like. I did answer those questions correctly and if they wanted a different answer they should have been more clear in their question, it's not my fault for answering the question they asked.
Also every teacher who called me a know it all or made jokes about me to other students behind my back should die. And also the ones who gave up on me early on, made it clear they were giving up on me, and then mocked me when I did attempt to put some effort into their class. They should be drawn and quartered.
#the fact that i spent ages 12-18 planning on either dropping out or killin myself every single day should prob have been a bigger red flag#its a miracle i graduated tbh#anyway. finding out a math teacher was making fun of me for my absenses to the rest of the class was a gut punch back in the day#esp when the reasons for said absences were 1) undiagnosed chronic illness and 2) being so nauseated by her class that i had panic attacks#like im sooooo sorry that i had undiagnosed dyscalculia and math makes me wanna frow up but u werent helping! cunt!#disgruntled octopus
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I'm beating every Gr*ffith B*rserk fan to a bloody smear on the pavement with my bare hands tbh
#at least the ones who have Only watched an adaptation#just made myself batshit insane scrolling thru some dipshit's blog#I get the appeal of him I DO but christ#if ur gonna fucking stan Griffith whatever but if ur gonna fucking insult my baby boy Guts to do it?????????#die actually#also I can do without ur fucking homophobia#'it's a disservice and disrespectful to read anything gay between Guts and Griffith' shut the fuck up actually#[insert 1000 stickman violence images]#this is ALSO coming from someone who fucking LIKES Griffith as a character!!!!! I LOVE Griffith as a character he's SUCH a good character#even if I want to choke him to death with my bare hands#love him as a character hate him as a person pulling for him to get beat to a bloody pulp before the manga ends#rly rly hate his stans tbh
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question, how is it less problematic to like camp camp with a whole cult episode with a plethora of holocaust allegories but liking rwby from the same company is bad? coco (character) is based on the runway persona for fashion, not the actual person, and purposefully represents none of the ties to her history. im not sure if that was a joking bad faith comment but adding in something without malicious intent made the rest of your examples also seem less serious by connection
I mean this in the nicest way, I promise. But you must be new if you think I haven't been calling that garbage, ESPECIALLY that episode in particular, out from day one.
#Asks#Anonymous#Like do not worry; I will HAPPILY call out that bullshit and have done so since it aired#It's gross; it's antisemetic#And tbh as much as I enjoyed CC outside of that; I can't bring myself to support it financially anymore even if I WASN'T angry at RT#Not after what Geordan came out and said about his treatment at RT in regards to propping CC up#While basically stripping his passion project for parts#At MOST I might RP some of the characters and revisit episodes on a Legitimate Viewing Site#So that's a very fair question actually#But yeah no; if I were to gut CC for parts; all the stuff with D/lph is being left in the dust where it belongs#Also I realized I got your wording mixed up; I've been calling out that Dolph episode since day one#That's my fault; I misread
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i'm writing the richard-died-at-trickle-lake fic and it's not like i haven't enjoyed writing the other fanfic but this is my NICHE dude. this is my JAM. dead bodies. aspec characters. blood. a single implied/referenced sex scene that is not elevated above other kinds of intimacy. blood. grief over your own wasted potential. revenge. making out with a ghost. the bit in song of solomon about jealousy being as cruel as the grave. did i mention the BLOOD. i'm a gory little bastard and i'm finally in my element
#the fact that i cannot handle slasher horror is a crime i've committed against myself tbh#it would make my life better if i could be a horror bitch but i can't be. i just can't#which is unfortunate because there's so few places elsewhere to get my daily dose of blood and guts#guess i have to do it myself as per usual ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯#trying to write normal romance is fun and all but it's not ME unless they only hold hands after 20k words of misery#they can bang in the past but it's not happening in the fic until s*x is redundant given how much of each other's organs theyve seen#mythtakes#my fic
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i saw your tags about T shots on my art! this is not me giving medical advice & you should 100% research & talk to your doctor about stuff but yeah, personally i take a fairly small dose of T once a week in my belly (its called a SUBQ injection) and it works very well for me. the syringes i use are very small and easy to use. since its every week i do it myself but some people visit their doctor every week to get it done. i dont know if there are reasons your doctor might not want to go that route but if you dont like the way you’re doing them now it might be worth looking into!
thank you :) !!!! dont even worry about it, the T i take rn are big doses intramuscularly [big needle on my butt] every 3 months. the doctor ive been seeing for the past few months ran some tests and prescribed it to me, its the standard brand of testosterone every other transmasc is getting where i live !!
im just starting out with this brand [i had been on a different one for years but i had a whole deal with that and had to change :P] so im seeing my doctor every couple months for a few years and my dosages as well as how often i take them are still subject to change, its just what i got prescribed to start out
im cool with the doses im getting right now :) i just thought it was interesting how everyone ive seen on the US and UK usually do these small weekly doses, but everyone i know from my country get prescribed larger doses less often instead !!
#idk if id have the guts to inject myself tbh !!#im only cool with needles as long as i dont see them :P#im actually supposed to see my doctor in like#a week !!#ANYWAYS YEAA THANK U FOR TELLING ME !!!
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